#but wait i also want to know what they appear in on the alien sheet

[realyauza]

Non-Japanese speaking players of Yakuza 4 have been robbed! These two newspaper issues you can get through the game are as genius as unreadable (thanks for the low texture resolution).

Saejima Taiga is an alien from Japan's Area 51! Want to know more? Read these hot articles from "Nihon Sports"!

Long story short (not really):

The first issue was about:

"A three-meters-tall alien was captured on film in Kamurocho. A security camera installed on the roof of a building in Kamurocho accidentally captured a scene of what appeared to be an alien creature knocking five strong men unconscious in an instant. The scene of five strong men being knocked out in an instant was captured by chance. The creature, which appeared to be an alien, was more than three sheets tall and appeared to be the same kind of monster as the Big Foot found in the Himalayas, but information from the International Okinawa UFO & UMA Research Institute, which conducts UFO research in Okinawa, revealed that the creature was an alien returned from a mysterious facility called “Area 51 Japan” in Okinawa."

"Surrounded by high walls, the island is said to be a UFO advance base and stands eerily still, giving an intimidating impression to its surroundings. From time to time, sounds like screams and high-pitched metallic clangs can be heard." - an image capture

Then there's a short info about what types of aliens we already know. Saejima is the "beast type" and "Since these aliens have been found not only on the rooftops of buildings, but also in underground parking lots and in sewers, it is thought that they are vulnerable to sunlight." There was also an eyewitness, who called him a Green Alien and was knocked unconscious soon after: The journalist asked one more time, “Would you like to meet the an alien again?" Tanaka answered, “That's not an argument! Of course I don't want to see this again!“ He shook his shoulders and repeated, “Of course I don't want to see anything like this again!"

"We should think about why aliens came to the earth. It is not possible for them to come from a distant celestial body just for the purpose of sightseeing. They must be waiting for some purpose to come to Earth. Depending on the purpose, it is not surprising that they may have brought weapons to Earth. A “beast-type” figure suddenly appeared in front of God. Perhaps he is the first of the aliens to invade the earth." - a professor of astronomy at a famous university summed up to the author of this article.

The second one:

Is it related to violent aliens? - says the title. This newspaper we can get only after Tanimura's meeting with Katsuragi. The main photo captures this moment.

A group of people in mysterious suits on a night trip. This magazine, which was the first to report on UFOs, has once again come up with a scoop: people trying to call UFOs (unidentified flying objects) have been moving deeper and deeper into Kamurocho, which has won the title of Japan's most famous district. At first glance, the scenery appears to be the same as usual, but people with the same characteristics are clearly visible. Dressed in what appear to be uniforms, they are marching towards a point. They appear to be performing some sort of divine ritual.-main image description

A photo of an UFO described as: A UFO suddenly appeared in the sky over Kamurocho. This photo was taken by a photographer of this magazine while he was reporting on aliens. The article was about a small village in Illinois, U.S.A., in 1988.

"He was cool. I was getting tangled up with five thugs, and he helped me out. And they just took our stuff, and they paid us off!” The aliens helped the man. We were shocked to hear this, but it's the truth. What is this alien's target? The story goes on and on. - written next to the Saejima's back

I noticed that a group of men in suits had gathered around the two men who were having a secret conversation. Immediately afterwards, the group "began to mutter and mumble all at once around the man they had seized," and then they "began to walk away. I had an eerie feeling about the ritualistic child, but I could not help wondering what they were doing in the square. Aliens were speaking some mysterious language no one could understand. They contacted an UFO specialist Morikawa to get more bullshit valuable info about this event and reasons why did they come here:

"The Mendurians are not only large, but also very intelligent," he said. If I had told my fellow travellers that I was being held in the Japanese version of Area 51, they would have been very concerned about the situation," he said. As for the group of people in suits who were at the scene, I think it is very likely that they were brainwashed by the Mendoules to call for UFOs.

I hope the next interview will be more interesting. I would like to remind the readers of this article that if you are unfortunate enough to find yourself on the road to Mendul, you are not the only one. If you are unfortunate enough to encounter a Mendurian, seek shelter in a well-lit area immediately, or apologize sincerely from the bottom of your heart, and you may be rehabilitated.

So,where's the truth?

#rgg #saejima taiga #yakuza 4 #like a dragon #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza games #龍が如く #rgg screenshots #Yes I spent my time translating but it wasn't the most difficult part #forgive me my typos and mistranslations I'm an alien too #and I'm thinking what it there's actually a translation? #then my post is a trashy as this newspaper ^^

[writingmochi]

cast: alt kid!soobin ✗ fashion student/designer!fem.reader

synopsis: after soobin's encounter with a person from his original timeline, he experiences doubts if he can settle in this new timeline or not. his alienation and existentialism take a spin in a new world he has to figure out himself, or if he could be courageous enough to ask you to guide him down back to the surface

genre: coming of age, slice of life, friends with benefits au, college/university au, angst, fluff, mature content (drug consumption and explicit smut)

based on: music radiohead's "subterranean homesick alien" (1997) (genre: alternative rock) and my yeonjun series time wave (2021-2022). i recommend reading the series first to know about the world!

word count: 52756 (52.7k)

warning(s): nudity, drug consumption (alcohol, cigarette) and mention of consuming other drugs (heroin), fighting and mentions of bruises and blood, shotgun smoke, blackmailing, implications of suicide, mentions of minor characters' deaths and car accidents, mention of broken home (divorced parents), explicit sex, unprotected sex (safety first!), messy and emotional sex, oral job (m & f receiving), handjob (m & f receiving), marking, squirting, manhandling, creampie (if there is something that i forgot, let me know!)

message of the moon: remember that this story is fiction and do be careful and read the warnings at the top. all the idols mentioned here are not what they are in real life.

it's been a year since i posted the last part of the series and i'm here to fulfil my promise to tell soobin's side and how is it going with him. this is also part of @aduh0308's collab "23 days with soobin" so do check the others out~ and also part of my milestone open collab "discover: 200"! thank you for the support for time wave and for the blog! hope you enjoy and sorry for the delay!!! soobin's canon appearance! ps. (l/n) = last name :3

playlist | part of the frequency modulation anthology

when soobin looks up, panting and sweating, all he can see is the shaded white ceiling from where he is laying.

his puffy tired eyes peer at the almost empty void with lights coming from outside the window across him. the sheer curtain lets the necessary amount to come in whilst the humming from the air conditioner adds to the whole ambience. the moonlight and streetlights shine the dark side of the world in tandem, waiting for the sun to take charge and light the day. yet the tinge of yellow light from the combination is the one that catches his attention. it’s in a lighter tint, but it reminds him of a vision he hasn’t gotten for a long time.

the burning heat that kisses his skin as he sees everything go up in flames. all the greenery at the higher topography engulfs into ashes behind him as even the sea reflects the red and orange fire.

soobin shakes his head to get rid of the vision. but when returning to his current state, he can feel the restraints that tell his body, “not yet. don’t go to sleep yet.“

full of the desire to rest, his gaze slowly fades into nothingness when he finally realizes the metaphorical glass box surrounding him. the box that only allows him to study the room before him; not wanting to interact with it as he doesn’t want to watch his hand go through any item he touches. he looks around throughout the dim yet lively room. a fashion mannequin standing in one corner with pins sticking into the body to let a sheet of fabric stick—its bottom end sways underneath the blowing air conditioner. a group of tall wardrobes that he can imagine have an abundance of clothes inside them. the desk where a small sewing machine is resting alongside stacks of books about design and fashion. the messy floor where clothes lay above the circle-shaped carpet, his included.

his gaze moves to the comforter that rested on his lap. the chilly atmosphere of the room fighting his body heat that had risen as he moves his head on the fluffy pillow. the bed sheets crinkle from movements on the bed as he eyes to the side where there is a wall of collages of outfit designs and models on a catwalk. the other side of the small bed.

beside him, a figure lies still as the comforter rests above their torso. rising and falling following their breathing self facing the wall. soobin’s hand rested behind them, skin-to-skin contact making shivers running down his nerves as he could see the hickeys he placed on their collarbones. the small glimpse of their shoulder shows the small five-sided star tattoo that he also has, remembering what it was like when he tattooed it on the body and how they then tattooed it on his own body. the first time they try tattooing someone.

the only tattoo on your body.

he wanted to rest his hand against you once again, just like the whole of tonight that he spent with you in lust and pleasure—finally getting what he wanted when he arrived at your room uncalled yesterday. you let him, especially with the fast response, as he pleasures you into tomorrow, hammering you into your mattress while he litters down the hickeys on your collarbones from behind. his eyes seeing your bare face self in all its imperfections moaning for him, though it’s perfect to him. but even looking into your eyes from the side profile, he had noticed something different. yet, it’s not as mind-bending as the one you gave from two days back. from you who aren’t the (y/n) he knows.

it’s (y/n) but more timid, closed off, and awkward. yet, there’s determination in her eyes as she arrives at somewhere she should not be. the girl who seems to know more about him than the one who was wrapped in his arms tonight. she who mentioned a boy’s name he hadn’t thought of for a long time.

(y/n) from another timeline. his original timeline.

he remembers the girl describing what happened in her timeline ever since his disappearance. how soobin hurts the only person who cared for him and how she finds him broken when she arrives back in haeyang. yeonjun had mentioned someone named (y/n) before to him back in high school. the way he describes her, she was his childhood best friend before she moved away right after his mother’s passing. two peas in a pod who are always sticking with each other before one of them leaves.

soobin and yeonjun’s friendship started when they both shared a table together in their first year of middle school. the boy had an intimidating face all the time and soobin didn’t even try to befriend him because of it. little did he know how his terrible childhood made him connect with the boy more than he expected—other than the same last name, making soobin wonder if he is related to yeonjun from a line of ancestors somewhere. yet he didn’t expect the connection to be as deep as this. he didn’t expect the (y/n) he’s in a situationship with to be the same (y/n) yeonjun is friends with. even with the differing timelines, as he also knew from talking to you, that you lived in haeyang before.

but in this timeline, yeonjun’s mom didn’t pass away; creating a chain reaction that affects the boy, you, and soobin himself. how it affects all three’s futures. all because of a change from one power set.

the power to control time.

when he gained a power that made the alternate version of you cross timelines; he spent weeks training it as best as he could. even with the uncertain consequences that come with it and the threatening vision he got before getting the power.

for him, it started with a terrifying vision of a forest fire burning haeyang down as he was stuck in the middle of a street covered in blaze, trying to escape the rotting building and dense clouds of smoke to, at least, the coastline before his clothes caught a lick of the fire.

then, he jumped up awake in his bedroom when his eyes landed on the toga hanged on the door handle, on the day of his high school graduation. he activates his power when rewinding time with just an open palm and the right mindset as he gets his fallen lunch back into his arms. a few seconds ago, it was on its way to stain his robe and his dad’s old suit he still kept. that day is printed in his mind. he remembered he still had silvery-blue hair when he met up with yeonjun’s electric pink-haired self wearing his own toga and bringing his own lunch as they both searched somewhere to eat together before the ceremony. the day that he can finally taste the freedom after getting out of the k-12 system.

yet in those weeks too, because of his powers, he scoured more books and files than he ever did for school. ever since he learned about yeonjun’s mom passing away in a car accident here, it reminded him of his own parents’ deaths here too. he had spent his time wanting to find out more about the similitude, but life was too difficult for him to face with the incoming abusive attitudes of his aunt and uncle and the school stress. because of them, he gets his relaxation through the rock music he and yeonjun enjoy and so many youthful delinquent things that paint his teenage years in a much better light; even still marking him to this day. it pushes the thoughts of connecting the pieces into the back of his mind.

that is until he had much free time after graduation, while also training his powers, which reminded him of his small project to connect the dots. with more research, he found out that the similarities even go to the same intersection; the difference is the three people died on the latter—the driver also—while yeonjun’s mom died in a hit-and-run. soobin can’t shake the resemblances as he turns to the archive online and offline of the incident, spending his time in the public library looking at newspapers and a closed case file when he finds out the catalyst tying the two incidents.

the car that caused three innocent people to die.

the driver became a raging alcoholic because of something happening in their life before the incident where his parents became victims, according to the witnesses from family members to neighbors written in the case file. the police can’t catch the license plate number from when yeonjun’s mom died of the incident—it’s not as surveyed as now with the many cctv cameras. but his 10-year-old self can. he was there when it happened. the sedan’s red exterior paint catches his eye even when he sees it scurried from the intersection he and his dad are at as he watches a swarm of people flood the streets and circle the expanding pool of crimson—some were running to catch the fleeting car as he heard people’s frantic concern and calling emergency service. it’s the same red sedan’s wreckage that he sees alongside his dad’s car from the newspaper.

after training his powers for a month now, from rewinding time to slowing down time, he taps into another layer of the power he knows of chronokinesis—something he caught on as said by min, the local art shop retailer he often goes to get his art supplies and whom he also discovers that they had this power before him. the power to travel through art that the power user has made. he stumbles into it accidentally as he is moving out a box full of his childhood stuff a day after finishing his odd jobs of tattooing other people. nearly sneezing from the flying dusk when tidies the contents, he sees the small doodle of people eating pizza. soobin remembers it was when he and his dad went out from a small pizzeria in haeyang at 10 years old, the same doodle he holds when he sees the zooming red sedan passing by. and that’s what happens to him.

the colors of the figures' outlines combined with the yellow and red from the pizza become a blur before he is summoned to the street of the accident. soobin walks hand-in-hand with his dad as they walk to the place where he lives for the visit. his mom is waiting after all. he had wanted to do something different again when he saw the woman who resembled his best friend. his soft features frowning as he had to see the accident again before he realized he had the power to change it.

and what he did to change it was a child-like thing he could do—as he didn’t want to make people suspect him more. he goes to the post and presses the crosswalk button again as he waits for it to do an immediate reset, the red man immediately turn to green when yeonjun’s mom passes the cross. he caught his dad let out a loud “fuck!” at the red car zooming past. but no one died that day, the car zoomed past slower, swerving near him and his dad more who is just starting to walk across, but not hitting the woman as she goes away to do whatever she’s doing. changing the line of time forever.

when he wakes up from the vacuum of time, he meets a room that is unrecognizable. it has open boxes stacking on top of each other and pieces of furniture that doesn’t look like the ones he had in his rock-themed bedroom. he walks to the en-suite bathroom to see himself on with a white t-shirt and small graphic text. the tattoos that painted his body are still there, the loser tattoo on his left arm and the outline sketch of the flower he made himself on his right. that’s when he heard the default ringtone of the smartphone as he scrambled to see who would call him. in his life at that moment, only a few people would call him: his family members and yeonjun. but ever since they died from their drug abuse, only yeonjun has ever called him. he thought he might be friends with yeonjun again. but when he saw the word mom on the ringing phone, soobin choked and nearly fainted away, yet he had to pick it up. his eyes stinging as he pressed the green button.

“hi, binnie bun. how is your first month in college?”

his nose becomes stuffy as his eyes tearing up, trying to articulate his words as best as he can. he missed her voice, the voice that he last listened to when he was 11. and now, he finally can visualize it again. his dad also speaks as soobin stares at his crying reflection from the window of his room, his eyes wandering to follow the number of people his age on the pathways as he hears his mom talk so carefully. recording it to his mind as he notices the age in her voice, something he couldn't do before.

he learned so much about his family by talking with them on that phone call. how they talked about the orientation poster he has to make and how cool it looks like when it's posted digitally; deducting that he’s studying in an art course. how his dad tells him to “tear the town apart like he was back then” and mentioned the old walkman he gave to his son with his rock music mixtape. soobin realized he grew up not that different from his dad. he knew his parents had always been part of a scene when he remembers the tattoos on their arms, but something from his memory reminds him of how he had tried drawing colors into mom’s rose tattoo and dad’s hokusai-inspired wave tattoo. how he, even after nearly a decade without him, is the perfect mix of his mom and dad’s personalities plus interests. he never thought he could be like that until now, and he was in a wailing frenzy when his parents ended the call.

brushing the fallen tears from his eyes, he turns to the desk where he realizes how this timeline’s soobin loves the arts so much as he is in his original timeline. books of sketches on the cluttered desk and coloring pencils scattered with his lit-up laptop showing its lock screen. a card beside the mouse pad shows he’s a design and visual communications major and a freshman—based on the year from both the card and the date on the screen. he always wanted to try enrolling in college, but given his financial circumstances back then, he had to pass it up. yet he is very satisfied to live his young adult life with yeonjun outside of academic responsibilities. his eyeline looks to the top of the card to see where he’s enrolling.

haeyang institute of arts—a university from his dad’s hometown.

his dad moved to the city he’s now living in from haeyang as he enters university. his family join alongside him because of the many more opportunities they might get. he then meets his mom in that same university and the rest is history. dad always loves haeyang and always visits the town for vacation, making mom love it too with her lessons in surfing and other watersports. dad had hoped that when he retired with mom, they could move to the small town to live the rest of their lives. soobin hopes it could happen; especially since he lived in said town for his teenage years.

but, he did not live in haeyang when his parents were still alive. that’s when soobin is realizing now, outside the convoluted information he has gotten, where he is.

a new timeline.

it’s easy for him to climb back into his old habits while reintegrating his new ones as he stayed there in intervals—going back and forth as he couldn’t get enough. in the trials, he'd successfully brought himself back into his tattoo artist way given his appearance and how he relies on that for the added stream of income, realizing the privilege of having a parent that helps you pay your tuition. soobin frequented the places he used to go when he saw a number of people he recognized; remembering the right attitude to befriend them as he entered the same circle of people once again, now a bit more mature and full of obnoxious rich young boys who just tasted freedom, just like he did.

other than scouring the arts made by his other self, he also sees a few books about the solar system, outer space, and astronomy from the items he had to unbox. he knew that that is something he’s interested in before his life was pivoted around by his aunt and uncle’s behaviors. in order to preserve that soobin within him, he embraces this timeline’s soobin’s love for astronomy by making more space-themed projects and tattoo sketches to even decorating one of his four walls full of astronomy posters and sketches he is proud of. all of that is to help mend soobin together to make a singularity, the right combination of one and the other.

because of that and how much progress he has made in his life, he decided to settle down in this timeline.

he felt the most alive here after a long time.

soobin came back home to the original timeline to set up something only for yeonjun. he recounted how the house he lived in with his dead aunt and uncle was his childhood best friend’s house before she moved out. how it has a significant role in his life. so he sets up a written deed for his house after talking with the local librarian he has been acquainted with ever since he spent his free time there without yeonjun; they tell him how the law works and how he can give the house away to him as a gift. he places the house key and letter on his bed as he looks at the cluttered room that he will long for. before he travel away for the last time, he puts the doodle beside the unfinished red poppy he made. letting the red color swirls in his vision before he envelops himself in the vacuum world, retracing his steps, and arrives in his new life.

it’s been a year since he stayed in this timeline and he didn’t know life could be any better than what he had a year prior.

during that one year, he let himself go and tried his best in his new life as a college student. he frequent parties and the hangout spaces he used to go to back in his original timeline, letting out the enthusiastic self that caught the crowd’s attention just like back then; but with a mellower tone to it as yeonjun was always the most out-going between the two. he went to raves and concerts from indie bands trying to break into the music scene. soobin, along with a few friends from that crowd he befriended, created a tattoo artist collective to make it easier if people want to find others who want to be tattooed. and, in one party hosted by some college boys living off campus, he met you.

you’re a superstar in his eyes with your fashionable customized night-out outfit and being placed in a rowdy group of girls, though you seem gentler than the others with your small smirk. you were holding on to a cup whilst leaning beside your friend when you turned your head and caught him looking. soobin had definitely seen your picture on social media when he explored the location tag ‘haeyang’ but he definitely won’t think he might found you in real life. yet haeyang is a small town after all and when someone is so popular, they get the attention of most of the town. soobin walks in an upright position when he approaches you. his large build makes him get curious stares from your friends, yet he stays his eyes on you. your smirk widens as he introduces himself, giving talks gently that differ him to the group of boys that he had seen here. your friends were pushing you to go to him, whispering into your ears that made you giggle. and when your eyes tell him to “take me away from this place”, he does so, bringing you to his room to hook up.

soobin and you caught onto a whirlwind friendship both of you didn’t expect after the hookup and, instead of sleeping after it, both of you talk about what you’ve been doing as of this week, continuing the underlying interesting conversation topic he had brought up before taking you away. the duvet enveloping both of you as you both are trying to get a steady breathing pace, he senses the blooming faint hickeys on the column of his neck as you lay down with your back facing up—turning your head to him as chuckles came out of you both. he never had a close female friend even in his original timeline, but you were so natural that he can’t help but be enamored by you. and it seems like it’s you to him too, with the way you asked him for his number before he brought you back to your hall. then everything expanded as he and you started to hang out at college parties a lot, you and him often went to each other's rooms to hang out with each other or meet with the others. but a few hours later, the image of soobin’s desk clean of books as he puts you there and thrusts in you becomes the reality, letting your nails scratch his back until it’s red from the goodness both of you feel.

he gets roped into your circle more, meeting the likes of karin, elle, and yizhuo as your fashion major friends. and you’ve met a few of his friends too, but since not all of them are college students, it’s not as woven as soobin’s relationships with your friends. but now, he had a friend circle and within that circle, they know you and his relationship as friends with benefits.

yet lately, he realized things are changing. he became clingy to you when he is horny and you’re easily submissive towards him when you are. it’s as if both of you are tearing each others’ walls down brick by brick, to find out more of each other—maybe even more than what you both have. but when he and you tried to try things further outside of the friends-with-benefits realm you are in, it’s always been cut off by something. for him, it’s the clients that want tattoos from him. for you, it was your tasks catching up to you, either from the organizations or your own dream of making a sustainable clothing line. even if you have time for each other to get to know more fathoms that you both actually recognize, you both spend it in other ways instead.

hesitations exuding from both of you and he only realized when he didn’t meet you two days ago. because his rose-colored lens was rudely ripped off when (y/n) from another timeline comes and tells him what happened in his original timeline. his home timeline.

he recalls the sunset view of (y/n) and him sitting on the sandy beach by the campus ground, the rushing wave seems to calm her down as soobin can sense how the girl has an affinity for it by looking at her gaze. she explained to him the reason she visits this timeline: to meet up with yeonjun and seeing his mom alive again. how the yeonjun she met differs greatly from the yeonjun she once knew. (y/n) and he talked more about chronokinesis as she tried to grasp the power she now has. how she described the vision of a blizzard obliterating haeyang. but something this (y/n) said hit him more profoundly than what he expected when he met someone from his original timeline.

“i’m going back,” he watches (y/n) open up a folded drawing, “to my original timeline.”

those seven words she’s spoken hit soobin in his heart as he tried to push away his furrowed eyebrows and frown, trying to make it more positive as he mentioned how he was starting to like the girl before she replied with “you probably like this timeline’s me more… but do you like like her?”

she clouded his mind with the unexpected question, replying with “maybe… i don’t know though. you’re just- i mean, she’s just a workaholic that i don’t think she has time for a serious relationship.”

a small smirk appears on her face when she adds, “well m-maybe you can try treating her differently. other than meeting just to hook up. bring her to the movies, ask her if she want to watch the concerts you’re watching no matter how indie the band is…”

soobin’s eyebrows raised as he protruded a small pout, letting his dimples show up as he looked to see the sun setting on the horizon.

“that might work.”

when he laid back in his bed after bringing (y/n) back to the room he could call his second home here, his state of mind went into such a limbo that all the thoughts in his head were about you, original timeline (y/n), his best friend yeonjun, and his home timeline. he tried to sleep it off, but it didn’t help. that’s when something made him impulsively act.

he steps out of the comfort of his bed and turns on his desk lamp to open his sketchbook, grabbing two different colored pens of black and dark blue as he sketches the visual that is playing in his mind.

figures are sketched in black ink as faceless figures talking to each other, some holding bottles in hand, some holding cups instead, and a few laughing “hahaha” typographies spread around the people. the center of the paper is left empty as he grabs the blue pen and draws another figure that looks so different from the others. its shape is humanoid, but its head is bigger than the others—creating an uncanny valley that exist in the scene. he outlined the clothes and how the being is holding onto a bottle of beer, he assumed, but with the black ink. lastly, he makes a small rectangle on the chest and he writes “soobin” within it.

retreating his posture back to rest against the back of his chair, he sees the finished picture as he visualizes. the lone blue outline humanoid in the middle of the black-lined figures. ever since the original timeline (y/n) left, he sensed his mind was being pulled out of his body for the first time since long ago and he once again sees himself in a third-person view when he walks back to his room. the out-of-body experience also recaps his year-long life here at a fast pace before one word rings in his mind.

alien.

he feels like an alien. because he realizes he is one.

this isn’t his original home after all. this is not the world he was born into. he’s not supposed to be here.

after you mentioned what happened back in your original timeline, he can’t help but feel his heart sunken down into the fathoms of himself. on how he left so suddenly creating panic in the closest person in his life. on how he only thinks about himself as he tries to rebuild his life here. how the “feeling alive in a new world” meaning seems more like an illusion to him. soobin sensed himself crumbling as a tear fell out of his left eye, still staring at the drawing he made in the mid-time of the night. cicadas sounds ringing outside of his window as he can catch a fading muffled sound of people in rooms far from his. the world all become solemn and sound as the doubts he holds back are now crashing the fragile wall and filling up his head like a vase.

he misses the adventures he and yeonjun had in high school. his discovery of rock music and the songs his dad might listen to if he could ask him; but can’t cause he was meters under the ground. he misses the experimental parts of his youth and how, even in his hardest times, he’s still living.

soobin misses home.

“soobin?”

the boy’s startled as he grasps how shaky his chest has been. the sound of unrhythmic breaths enter his sense as another one signals to him the moist that are trailing down from his face, his nape, and his back—the sensation of an air conditioner dies the warming body down. he looks to the side to see you’ve turned around to face him, a frown on your face and eyebrows crinkled. yet even with how puffy your face is for waking up so suddenly, you still are so pretty.

soobin expected little as he wiped the now evident tears and sweat off his face, yet he still couldn’t breathe calmly. his hyperventilation from overthinking swallows up his mind back into the doubts running like a waterfall in his mind. he tried to make it stop,—closing his eyes so tight and shaking his head—when his warm skin met a cold sensation as he blinked open.

“breath with me…” you expressed, snuggling close to him as he instinctively lifted his right hand to put it behind you. shoulders meeting as your hand rested on his exposed abdomen while the comforter slid down to rest right above your breasts. soobin turns his head as you tell him with your eyes and signal by lifting your head up. follow me.

together, you both try to find the right rhythm for him to come back stable. soobin felt the air he was puffing come out staggering as you soothed him more with your hands, messaging him down from his abdomen to his pectorals. trailing it up, you rested your hand against his left chest where you put pressure, studying his beating heart that pumps too fast given the circumstances.

“breathe in and hold,” you whispered to him. his hand that was wrapping you have fallen down to your waist as you also rest your back against the headboard, gripping onto your exposed love handle from behind. he sees you nod as you watch him follow your every signal, a small assuring smile on your face as your hand continues to rest against his heart layers deep beneath his muscles and skin.

“and out.”

you let out a big breathe out as soobin follows slowly, feeling his heart now pumping in a rhythm comprehensible for his body. he didn’t expect to break down even after he had pounded you into the next day; he had poured all of it out the previous night to make himself stable. that’s the reason he is here tonight as he knows that you also have been stressing out about something lately and you say yes instantly to his text. yet, even with the months of you both doing this thing, you both never let out any expressions of sadness. always lightening this up with funny banters or sexy moments. he rested his forehead against your nape when he lets his hips meet yours, trying to flush the thoughts that are fucking him up by fucking it away with you. yet, it lingers and grows. he expected to face it himself, not guessing at all that you would help him calm down.

“you’ve been thinking about many things, haven’t you? your face was all scrunched while we made out. i can feel how your facial muscles tense up when i kiss your face.” you said so eloquently, so different from the hesitation that the girl he met yesterday from his original timeline gave out. you knew how to speak and how to voice out what you want to say. and it’s something he always admired you for.

then, soobin got reminded of what (y/n) said to him about his feelings for you. how the original timeline (y/n) didn’t reject him of his feelings for you, instead giving advice on other activities to do when hanging out to further your relationship. come to think of it, if she rejected it outwardly, it could hurt him more. but if she meant what she said, then you might actually reciprocate what he is feeling to you.

sure, he has had crushes on people in between the binary of boy and girl. but he never went through something so visceral as this. the closest thing to it is with yeonjun back in his original timeline. he and the boy knew that both of them were fruity in some way, but by what he observed, he could only assume that yeonjun liked him as a friend who he could lust over. the guy doesn’t even like dating based on the last time soobin spoke with him, but he has seen him hooking up with a few people, usually in inebriated situations. all the time, soobin assumes it’s always one-sided between him and yeonjun. but when he sees the original timeline (y/n) coming to tell him everything that’s happened when he’s gone, he can definitely sense the effect of her appearing in yeonjun’s life again after a decade. how yeonjun finally meets his person again after a long time since soobin is being bombarded with stories between yeonjun and her.

but this timeline is different. yeonjun’s family is complete whilst yours is not. he also has noticed the sunken skin beneath your eyes, how you now need more than three cotton face wipes to clean your face—you don’t like going to sleep with make-up as he always sees you limping to your bathroom to clean your face up as he makes the bed for you both to sleep in. how hectic the university has been for you as you join many activities like the yearly fashion show hosted by the institute to the social events and your own fashion business. yet, the way you treat him so softly even though it’s behind closed doors is always reminding his soul to be fuzzy and colorful even with the scene he is usually in. everyone knows you both are fucking each other, but you both never done any soft and domestic things in public or on the internet for anyone to see; always showing your confidence and maybe your sexy selves.

yet, being domestic with you seems to be so natural to him. how you sometimes go to the communal kitchens in both of your halls to make instant noodles for both of you; how you and him like bouncing ideas for projects you both have to do for your courses; you have helped him design tattoo ideas for his client and him helping you to find the right style to layer the clothes your designing. it all came naturally and with a sense of ease as soobin doesn’t expect any rewards in return, even if it came to one with you giving him pleasure. but, by what the original timeline (y/n) said to him, it might be because you see him the same way.

but with the level of existentialism he is facing, he doesn’t know if it’s real anymore.

he wishes his powers can come back to him just so he can give his life in the original timeline a second chance.

as he leaves you alone and slips into a daydreaming state, you continue caressing his torso— tilting down to gaze at the tattoos that paint soobin’s body. on his left arm, a five-side star that matches yours after you both lost a dare between you two and karin with her boyfriend. below it, a large tattoo that covers his entire sleeve of a ring planet and a few more than litter his body that you couldn’t quite figure out. you’ve admired the handy work of tattoos that soobin has on his body as they look so clean and detail. but you never learned what each of them meant. tattoos must have meant something for someone to willingly put on their skin. you and soobin’s matching star tattoos also have their backstory as it reminds you both of the long conversations you had with each other about the stars in the sky and how the lights of them are from millions of years ago—soobin is a nerd for this kind of facts and you totally love hearing him ramble on about it.

“what do your tattoos mean?”

soobin silently choked on his breath as he heard you say that, your eye line gazing at his upper left arm before to his eyes. your head is resting against his right chest as his other hand moves to accommodate you entering more into his space. a small smile grows from him as it reminds him of what transpires yesterday in this very room and bed. how original timeline (y/n) is checking his horny self’s thigh before the big revelation he comes to realize. he comments on how this timeline's (y/n) never asked him about his tattoos before. he didn’t know how the power of travelling between timelines can also affect the body in the timeline someone visited even if she asked him—not much knowledge is known about chronokinesis in general because of its limited usage of time and people who had it. yet, is this a sign that even though you were possessed by someone from his original timeline, is some of the memories you get are sticking to the original being of the body as the visitor travels back? he doesn’t know for sure, especially since this timeline don’t have any supernatural individuals, unlike his home timeline.

“well…” he tucks you closer with his right hand so it’s easier to see his right forearm and shows you the tattoo you might not found from your little adventure of gazing at his body. he then uses his free hand to push the comforter away slightly from his lap—his flaccid cock now meeting the air-conditioned room as he points one of his thighs with the squiggly lines painted on the skin.

“this one,” he pointed at the drawing on the thigh, “is the first tattoo that i tried by myself. it’s supposed to be a soundwave visualized but i was trembling so the curves aren’t a good parabola-shaped wave.” soobin tried to compose himself but he can’t help to chuckle as he could remember how nerve-wracking and painful it is to tattoo himself. your nose scrunches as you hold your jaws, but he can still pick up the snickers you’re trying to conceal before he continues.

soobin moves his left arm to allow you to gaze at it closer. the one that is full of tattoos across his sleeve and forearm. “the shoulder one, you know what it is, is the star we both have. below it is the saturn tattoo that covers this whole area.” he twists the entire arm so you can see the whole tattoo in its glory. “my favorite planet of the solar system is saturn, other than earth of course. i always think that earth can have rings if it has enough gravity for asteroids to spin aroun-“

you kiss the corner of his mouth before he continues to babble, “we can theorize about earth having rings anytime. what’s next?” you reply as soobin’s face gets warm before he continues with showing his left forearm.

“the guitar tattoo on the outer side and the drum set tattoo on the inner side is matching with each other. the drum set is just a basic setup of crashes, hi-hat, snare, tom-toms, and bass and it symbolizes my love for rock music. one of the guys from the collective specializes in creating these line art tattoos and i just have to have him give me one, but he gave me two cause he owes me something.” after his tangent, he then pushes his wrist closer to you as you giggle while staring at it, realizing what it is.

“that’s the bunny doodle i made for you.” you gaze at it with pursed lips as he nods exuberantly.

“got it tattoo by myself, had one of the guys sketch it down before using the gun.” he twists his forearm around to show a typography tattoo right below his elbow.

“this is the loser tattoo. i made the typography myself to look a bit like punkish as i just…” he glance at the tattoo before towards you, “i identify with the word so well. like, i wanna make it sound less negative than it is, just like punk is now. that’s what high school soobin thought though.”

your eyebrows raised as you say back, “you’re not a loser in my eyes. i actually think i’m the loser here.”

soobin chuckles, “says you, miss popular.” he felt a light push on his cheek as you let out the sweetest giggle that he’s always associated with you. something that you never show outside people in your inner circle as everyone only knows you as the cool badass girl that you are.

“it’s true though, soob. like… even if people know me as someone who is capable of anything, there must be ONE thing i can’t do, like flying an airplane for example.” you talk animately as your hands also visualize the object in the air, something outrages as you tried to justify yourself to be in the same realm of loser as he is, even if he knows you’re not.

“we can be losers together if you’re still going identify yourself as one.” soobin chirps as you let out so many nods.

he then gazes along the expanse of the skin between you and his body as he sees the final tattoo from the hand wrapping your body. the yellow poppy on his right forearm. the only colored tattoo he has and the first tattoo he got when he decided to stay in this timeline, painting the petal with yellow ink. soobin knows little about flower language but it always fascinated him that each flower species still have a different meaning if the petal colors are different. his favorite is poppy—other than that it’s the base of heroin, his favorite out of the drugs he tried—and he likes that each different colored poppy will mean different things. the red poppy he drew back in his original timeline had a meaning of remembrance and hope. but he didn’t find red poppies appealing anymore after he moved. instead, his affinity turns to the yellow one.

“this is a yellow poppy. it symbolizes optimism and a new bright future. i-“ soobin gulps down his saliva as he looks at the poppy. the sketch of the flower is entirely the same one he did before he left, only the petal colors are different. “i made the sketch myself and asked someone to tattoo it on me. the first tattoo i got after arriving here. and it’s after i’ve made a big decision in my life. i hope that it can help to remind me of the good things that come after that big decision.” soobin looks down, “well, i don’t know if it did though.”

you instantly reach around him as you pull him into a hug. his head rested on your chest where he can hear your heart beating inside you. your nose sniffing his black hair as you then give it a small kiss, calming the clockwork in his mind as you lean back on the headboard and push the comforter to cover both of you.

“i don’t know what you’ve gone through to be here. you’ve always been such a strong guy for me.” you caress his wet-stained cheek, noticing how sticky and cold the surface is. you feel very conflicted as you try to understand what he’s been going through even if you don’t recognize the exact detail of it.

“i don’t want to pry you for information if you are uncomfortable with it. but i wanna say that you have me on your side, even with our unconventional friendship.” you look down towards him, who is staring right at you, the way his sunken eyes resemble yours as you stare at it. an undescribable yearning for you to continue comforting him shows up, but the same hesitance that taints you both to be something more is still there.

“let’s sleep, shall we?”

-

“class is dismissed. thank you.”

exclamations of “thank you”s and scrapping of chairs ring in soobin’s ears as he tucks his belongings back into his backpack, trying to leave the class around the same time as the crowd as he tugs his hood of his unzipped black hoodie up. stepping out of the class, he watches more classroom doors already open as more of his peers walks out to end the class session, all of them aiming towards the many exits of this building. some were alone, like him—scurrying away as fast as they could, while others take time to wait for their friends. soobin tightens the strap on his bag once again as he steps in and blends into the crowd. the same crowd he has lost touch with ever since his existentialism episode. some people greet him when they recognize him; just giving a small wave as they pass by him. but others ignore him when he tilts his head down and blends in. it is what he desires for the outcome.

his class has been dwindling and ending as he is nearly a few weeks closer to exam week, that means that he has more free time than what his regular schedule told him. sure, he could play with friends of his—but he really wants to be in solitude right now. it doesn’t mean that he stopped being with his friends in the alternative scene or who opened the tattoo business and whatnot because of what he experienced two days ago, that just amplifies what he had been doing because his interests have been expanding more outside of their punkish and alternative scene.

soobin has frequented a local music shop where he discovered new music outside of his knowledge—most are alternative but old in age, older than the bands he and yeonjun used to indulge in and much calmer. the sex pistols are not 100% good for his mental health if you listen to it too much. that’s when he expanded the songs he listened to based on his dad’s rock mixtape that he possessed. queen being replaced by pink floyd and the beatles being changed by genesis. it introduced space rock to him alongside radiohead—other than the song named creep that he knew before. his music palette also expands internationally to include other languages other than including decades from his parents’ generation or even his grandparents’ generation. people usually have places where they get the perfect ambience to create art like nature or buzzing cafes. for him, it’s the music store that inspired him the most. either by the travelling sonic waves entering his ears or the album cover art—which is an underrated art medium—he has gotten a lot of his sketches inspired by them, including his tattoo design. all inspired by the olds and news of alternative music—cause pop can be too poppy for him. yet he doesn’t wanna call his punk ways a “phase” even if he’s trying to consume something new, but he since has gotten more melancholic about it. like how the music he listened to had matured alongside him.

maybe he could introduce you to his local shop. he doesn’t know if you’re interested in it though.

as he sat on one of the benches on the pathway, not knowing what to do in his afternoon—not comfortable enough to mingle with his friends knowing how unstable his emotions are right now and he can’t meet up with you right now because you have classes all day—he’s scrolling through his notes app that is full of brainstorming ideas he kept. the glimpses of his rants about the lecturers he had got for the semester and these classes for giving stupid homeworks make him chuckle before he stops on one note that caught his eye.

places to go in haeyang: recs by ppl n hidden gems

pressing it open, he sees the list of places he had written dated. most of the places already have checks at the side as there are ones he visited back in his teen years back in his original timeline. the people in his scene recommended some; usually involving speakeasies and other hidden concert venues. he let his thumb scroll down to the bottom of the list, expecting all of them to be with checks as he remembered a scene from the places he skim-read, when he came across one place he hadn’t visited that baffled him.

haeyang planetarium and observatory.

he tried to remember why he hadn't gone there as he scoured through his memories, understanding now that it was because he’s been to most of the places on the list together with other people, usually from the ones in his crowd, that they just haven’t visited this place or because none of his people are interested in astronomy like him. but when he sees the words related to outer space observation, he couldn’t help the tug in his heart that is signalling to his well-being.

if he visit, maybe he could understand more of the aliens he is associating with.

his long legs march towards the campus' bus stop as the bus arrives at the same time. stepping inside, people—mostly student—are now dispersing to other places as it goes by stop by stop, a few are going to the food market near here, and more goes to other facilities around here until only he’s left in the bus with a few people on the seats behind him. his eyes gaze at the ocean’s surface that the sunshine is refracting. a group of children playing around on the sand as one of them chases a dog whose leash is flailing everywhere, not minding the incoming waves meeting the sand as they all play along. when he heard the call for his bus stop, he didn’t realize the smile formed on his face before returning to his resting face.

thanking the driver as he steps out, he then looks at his map app to see the route toward the building complex—up the inclining road straight to where he is. soobin’s steps take him over as he sees the neighborhood he’s in. mom-and-pop shops are still open inside buildings with an older-looking architectural style, very different to the amount of gentrification evidence around downtown haeyang and the campus grounds. walking on the side of the mostly empty street, he smelled the aroma of homemade cooking he hadn’t smelt in a while as he had always been bombarded by the MSG of fast foods that he usually bought other than convenience store foods. he almost forgets the smell of it, also the smell of blooming wildflowers and salt produced from the ultramarine. his consciousness floating about his corporeal form as he felt the numbness slowly fade.

soobin inspects the pavement before him. cracks from the old concrete untouched from newness greet him with the historical side of the town that has been established aeons ago. but it’s also a habit of his to look downwards at his feet every time he walks. he can still recall the crimson blood of the incident or the appearance of his aunt with a foaming mouth if he tilts up slightly, especially if there are other people involved as he either trails his vision on his moving feet so to not meet their eyes or on the nape of the person if they’re in front of him. but, on this side of town, he couldn’t help but notice the dwindling number of visitors to the shops.

yet even when he glances at the people that are scattered around the street, they seem so humble and poised. whilst walking towards his destination, he found an older woman carrying baskets of fruits or vegetables from the outdoor market that he passed by and the sight of a grandpa and a younger kid—his grandson from their similar features—walking around with balloons in his hands. it’s very different from the sight of obnoxious young adult drinking their hearts out to get rid of college stress. it’s as if this neighborhood is its own place out of haeyang. as if it’s a planet of its own.

obscured by the branches of various trees, soobin finds the dome-like structure of the observatory. he walks along the nearly empty parking lot as only a few identical buses are parked there, children dressed in uniforms stand on the side of the machinery; it’s the weekdays after all and a good time for a field trip. his figures trail behind them who are still lining up to the entrance, seeing the space theme imageries all over the place as he walks towards the ticket booth. a young teenager sitting behind the glass blowing a bubble from the gum, providing the ticket options.

“for one?” the teen said, chewing on his gum as soobin couldn’t help but see himself in the teen’s place.

“yup.” he places the cash amount on the booth.

“you okay doing the tour with a bunch of kids?”

soobin glances at him who is picking the money up, realizing that it’s more than the cost of one ticket when he finally focuses on it.

“i’m definitely okay with that.” he sees the guy looking back at him when he counts the amount and eyes at the older boy.

“no. don’t give back the change. might help you with your tuition. you’re doing a good job, kid.” soobin replied before he turned away to climb the small flight of stairs. leaving the teen boy staring at him before tucking the tip into his pocket.

he catches the pitter-patter on the floor as he watches the students scramble in lines beside him. most of their height is around his thighs and there are shorter kids too. the sound of an older woman guides the children as soobin stays back with the teachers who supervise them. soobin gives a nod to one of them as his endearing smile with dimples seems to melt their worries away—he’s glad he uses his hoodie now so that they can’t detect the depression that is still oozing out of him. when he enters right along with the group, he stares at the greenery entrance of the first exhibition, depicting the trees and buildings people associated with earth. screens around it shows videos of old commercials combines with new ones that created a sense of nostalgia that hits him in the right place.

“humans are curious beings and those before you have always been curious of the sky.” she points towards the ceiling where it is painted as the bright clear blue sky. “what goes on above the clouds? why is the sun so far but so hot? why does the moon always change shape from half a circle to a full circle to a dark circle? in this tour, we will get to know things other than our beautiful planet,” the tour guide said as she moved, letting the group follow her to a large diorama of a rocket standing tall until the ceiling. the screens on the wall shows slideshows of photos from mission control in a space center, outfits of spacemen display behind the glass box.

“people’s curiosity creates new things and creates-“

“ROCKET!” one kid said as he pointed towards the rocket tall beyond his height, making the others giggle with soobin following along.

“that’s right. a rocket! in the 1960s, humankind made a new achievement: going to space. a cosmonaut was the first one to go to space, and then a group of astronauts landed on the moon! even a dog and monkey have flown to space!” the guide opens her arms to the screen where the records of the 1969 moon landing is playing. “since then humans have been curious, why is there a brighter dot in the sky even brighter than the dots of stars? if people can reach the moon, can we also reach the sun and the stars? with that, we move…”

the guide moves to the new room behind a dark curtain. stepping through, the dark navy walls take dominance along with paintings of the planetary bodies, “to see our planet here as miniature. we are here.” she points at the blue and green-colored ball in a solar system diorama. “you live here. haeyang is here. and now we can see all the other planets beyond earth and the moon that is spinning around us.”

“is this mars?” one of the girls points at the red planet.

“that’s right. the red planet is our neighbor. many scientists and engineers are now trying to make humans reach mars. they have succeeded in putting a robot there as it scouts for martian landscape to discover new things. we will know more about it as we enter the planet rooms. but now we can notice,” the guide pushes a button as the diorama starts to spin. exclaims of wows come from the children as soobin can’t help but think that they are the voices of his head, outwardly shows what he’s thinking as he feels he has gone back to that age again.

“we can see here that all the planets are spinning around this big yellow ball. this one is the sun, the same hot sun that you encounter in the day. the sun has another name, 'sol'. and this is why we call this,” the tour guide widens her arm to show the whole diorama, “a solar system.”

“why is this one spinning the other way?” one of them points to the planet beside earth, the smaller orange ball spinning clockwise instead of counter-clockwise like others.

“venus is an oddball, you see. other than it spinning the other way than its friends, the day and night there is also deadly. you can burn in the day but freeze in the night. it’s a very dangerous planet but humans also found a way to show us what it looks like. we will see more of it soon.”

soobin follows along with the group as he learns about things he knows but things he also doesn’t know as astronomy is one of his interests he hasn’t pursued much other than a designing theme. exhibits upon exhibits walk as his hands move from tucking inside his hoodie’s pocket to be put behind him or even holding onto his phone as he takes pictures he could then spin for inspiration for whatever creative ideas he had, for both college works or anything outside.

but the exhibition that was the most profound to him, as he is currently standing in front of, is the small elevated tub of sand on the podium in front of a hubble space image full of galaxies. the window from above shines the lights from the outside, giving a specific spotlight to it. the exhibit was made by a haeyang institute of arts student coming from the plaque soobin read, capturing an image of the description as he wants to learn about the alumnus’ works outside of this. the words spoken by the guide tell something so deep to him that it makes him stay here while the others continue. each of the children holding a grain of sand in their hand as he follows, pinching the minuscule sand between his thumb and forefinger.

“we will then take the grain of sand and extend our arms to the window above. to the sky.” all of them push their arms out to the window on the ceiling with soobin pushing his arm out, capturing the tiny sand in eyesight.

“how you see the grain of sand with your eyes is the same as what the hubble telescope sees as it’s pointing to the darkest part of space where there are no lights. just like how we are with the sand, it’s not visible this far. but there is still something there. and with that, the telescope captures this picture.” the guide turns towards the image on the wall.

“the hubble eXtreme deep field. it is said to contain over 5000 galaxies. and as we learned before, galaxies have many stars and stars always have planets spinning around them. that means that there many upon many of planets, even planets that maybe the same as earth. and as we also learn about stars and the length of light in the previous rooms, we can guess that the lights from these galaxies might actually come from a long time as the light reaches us. million years to travel to be seen by the telescope. so we don’t know if the galaxies are still there or not as it might occur millions of years from now.”

“i wanna ask,” a kid replied as he dropped the grain back into the tub. “if what miss said that there might be planets like earth out there, and since you tell us that earth is a perfect planet where life lives. then are there beings living on that planet?”

“oh my gosh, aliens!!!” another replies as the group bursts out into the giant discussion session, but soobin doesn’t chuckle along like the rest of them this time because his mind is somewhere else, eyes stuck on the hubble’s captured image.

“well, there might be. aliens could also come in different shapes and sizes. there are some who are human-like and others who are monster-like. they can be big like elephants or small like ants. life may happen in those planets. but we don’t know which one it is. either we haven’t found them or they haven’t found us.”

soobin listens to the door closed as he didn’t buy the ticket for the show. it’s then followed by the steps on the floor as he peeks from the corner of his eyes, seeing the woman—the tour guide—stood beside him. her eyeline looking at the image with him.

“beautiful, right?”

“yeah…” soobin says while nodding, yet the wrinkles between his eyebrows contract as he sighs.

“it’s been so long since i’ve seen people your age visiting the planetarium. i’m happy you are though,” the woman said as he picked up the muffled exclaims from the sky theater.

“ever since local shops dwindled and newer shops entered at downtown, this area isn’t visited as much, especially with the younger ones like people your age. more locals move away as newer things enter and stay.” soobin heard the ruffles from clothing moving as the woman turned to him. “you’ve seemed to have an affinity for this picture here.”

soobin lets out a somber smile, “no matter how many times i’ve seen the image, i found more things to discover.” soobin’s eyes glisten as he takes a deep breath. “the last few days are hard for me. i feel like i’ve been floating away in space and staying there in limbo. a big decision i made for me to stay here came back and bite me in the ass. i probably relate to those aliens watching us rather than people here as i slowly realize.”

“hmm…” the guide said, “i can relate to you. i once was also a new person here. haeyang back then was far more empty. any people living there know each other and i felt like a total outsider when i had to blend in, especially since i came for an internship while waiting for my graduation from college. moving away from the family when i decide to live in a small town all by myself.”

the guide walks to stand in front of soobin, “i felt like an alien visiting the town, especially since i don’t know shit about the culture here. all that was motivating me to stay here is the new planetarium that is hiring people as i want to share my knowledge of space.”

“i recognize this sounds stupid, but why not pursue a career in the space center? be an astronaut and flew up there?” soobin asked as he steps forward towards the woman once again, standing beside her as they continue looking at the picture.

“well…” the woman clears her mouth as she continues, “i wanted to. but something happens in my life that must be so baffling if i talked about it to you.”

“shoot,” soobin replied comfortably, making the woman chuckle.

“i studied astronomy in college but i was an intern here to make design and art choices for the building. the marketing aspect of things as i worked as an assistant to my supervisor. we’re only a two-person team. then, something happens.” the smile on the woman fades away as soobin sees her eyes being cloudy from gaining back the memories, which he presumes are bad ones.

“i saw the sun being so near to the surface, it burns everything. but it stopped as i woke up and i sensed a sizzling feeling in my hand as i stopped a falling paint bucket without touching it. time goes by fast and slow, but i could control it with a wave of my hand as i took precaution of it and other things.”

soobin’s eyes widen as he’s piecing up the woman’s words, words he seems to understand even in their abstract manner.

“one day, i see my planet paintings on the wall here blurry. then i entered something i should’ve not been in when i found myself painting the wall once again. long story short, i’ve changed something about what i paint. i was trying to find the perfect planet to be painted cause i’m still in a dilemma about the jupiter i made. so, i painted saturn instead.” she let out a tight lip smile, yet still exuded warmth.

“when i went out of that vision, i arrived in a new planetarium. it's like the other one but i wasn’t the only intern. another intern was there and we spent time with each other before i realize i fell in love with him. i should’ve gone back and become an astronomer, as you’ve expected. but i love him too much to let him go.” the woman turns her head towards the theater as soobin can identify a silhouette of the man operating the holographic theater closest to the door.

“so i went back and got my degree. then came back here with my long journey where i saw the sun being so close to the surface that it made me panic. it seemed like the sun was stopping me from going back to him. but i stare back at it as i make up my mind and wave the time so i can be here with him,” the woman replied, brushing her fingertips on top of her closed eyelid.

“the person who is me here also studied astronomy, so i still am on track with the opportunity to be an astronomer and study the stars more. but, i noticed my vision was different. going to the hospital, i found out i’m colorblind—probably after fighting the sun back. i was stubborn and wanted to do something, anything, to cure it, but my boyfriend at the time reminded me of how little we had financially. so i stayed behind and instead worked here where i can help educate people on the stars,” she shifts to face the picture, “though i can’t see all the beautiful colors of that hubble photograph.”

soobin stares at the older woman as she turns her head towards him, “i assume we both are aliens to this world. i had know what you are feeling and there is only so much i can do since i can’t go back to my original home now. this is what my husband helped me with back then: when adapting to a new environment, try to share it with someone. there’s a small indie theater around this area that is airing old asian films. by the looks of you,” the woman eyed him up of his all-black ensemble, “it might be your type.”

the boy stood there struck and speechless as the woman turned around to go to the theater, opening the door as her voice became muffled by the excitement of kids as they converse about what they’ve seen, leaving him alone in the large empty space. does the woman also had…? he guesses so…

he was left in a trance when his phone vibrated from the deepest part of his pant pocket. it vibrates along with his hand as he pulls it out, seeing a chain of texts on the screen from one of his friends, han. a notification about a picture being sent to him as he opens the phone, taking him straight to the chat room where he sees a picture of a couple of people taken from a pretty far view; as if it is taken in a hidden way for a reason.

“isn’t that your girl?” soobin reads the message as he looks at the picture and enlarge it, seeing a few pixels of your recognizable features in front of a man. your arms are crossed in front of you, but he couldn’t look at your expression. yet the man beside you seems so familiar to him.

“yeah, the fuck is this?” he sent as han instantly types back

“since when is your girl associated with jeno?” the text said as soobin’s eyes widened when the information clicked for him of the man across from you in his black leather jacket ensemble.

jeno was not someone to mess with. a part of the rare elite haeyang local, his family pretty much owns everything in this town, maybe even the institute as the lee family is their biggest donor. the new business entering and killing local ones? they were placed on the buildings owned by the lee family, even jeno seems like he might also manage a few of them. he’s a dance major in the institute and rumor has it that they open a hip-hop dance class because he wants to. well, soobin doesn’t know much about him other than shallow pieces of information because the performing arts building is far from the visual arts building. but, jeno also has a reputation among his community too—worse than them, even if they’re often seen as bad guys.

manipulation of people, cover-ups of physical fights that soobin heard first-hand, all in a way to make him better than anyone here. he even was blacklisted in the few establishments where the usual concerts are held and drugs are being shared around because of his indecency. but the power of his family strikes through as they can threaten said establishment to lose so much profit so that their son can have fun in the shithole he seems to not blend in. jeno is a dangerous fellow, but why is he associated with you?

soobin’s thumbs on the screen let the screen zoom in more and more until he founds the limit. the amount of pixels there still is not accurate enough to observe every little detail on the image, yet soobin recognized that frown anywhere. the way he always has to smooth it out by himself every time you vent to him during your pillow talk session. you being the workaholic you are—looking perfect in everyone’s eyes—make him the trash bin to the frothing words of rambles coming through your lips. heck, you might even complain about your day-to-day life more to him than when you did it with your group of friends. yet he’s glad you picked him to let him see you in your most vulnerable state.

his eyes glanced back at the picture of galaxies in front of him as he picked up the pattering of footsteps of the school kids, continuing the tour as he could look at the merchandise store across from him—right by the exit. his mind was thinking all over the place when the memory of alternate timeline’s (y/n) seemed to remind him of something. instead of joining in the tour again, he opens his phone and scrolls around to find something.

soobin: hey, you busy tonight?

immediately, he can see the other person texting back.

(y/n): no..? you need anything??

you usually text him back a few minutes after he sends one, but he knows your tell when you’re upset, even if it’s behind the screen.

soobin: let’s watch a movie together.

-

he stretched his legs out as he awaited at the bus stop. his hand holding onto a brown paper bag with an item he bought whilst waiting for you. the view in front of him is exactly the view of the sea that is always imprinted in his mind; which its variants include the yellow fiery ball sinking into the ocean.

he can’t help but remember his conversation with the tour guide. as baffling as it is, he couldn’t even believe that, in this very timeline, someone had the same predicament as the one he is facing. lost in time. lost in worlds. soobin discovered how encouraging it was to see the husband-wife duo as they returned the children to the bus while he walked after them. the wife gives him a small smile and a knowing nod towards soobin as he returns to see a livelier neighborhood than the one he discovered hours ago when he walked by—seemingly a different one, but the afternoon with its free time makes the people go to the streets.

while he waits for you, he scours down the avenue full of mom-and-pop shops; his vision looking at the crack in front of him instead of the ones his feet are stepping on. he visits the outdoor market he saunters past as more shops are there, mostly selling ingredients or utensils that are needed in a home. the boy takes in the atmosphere of balanced quietness and loudness as people go by him, not minding him once before he sees glittery lights on his skin from the sun reflecting on something. turning towards them, he found the source.

the jewelries are put in an array at the front of a stand and more are dangling on the tiny display rack as he sees a woman not much older than him; almost falling asleep from the afternoon sun right under the shade of the tent. when his footsteps create scrapes on the concrete ground, the woman awakes as she watches his figure looming over the booth. both are silent as soobin looks at the various accessories on display. there are classical-looking ones with chains and pendants. still, there are also modern ones which include charms of letters and symbols—even a few of them match his style as he discovers one that is more retro-looking with an identifiable smiley face.

though his eyes were stuck on one of them when he decided to speak to the shopkeeper.

turning his head as he listens to the rumbling noise getting closer, he sees a similar bus to the one he used in the day slowing its machinery before stumbling to a stop. his head looks upwards to the open doors, watching a few people stepping down and you following behind.

“hi,” you mumbled as you skipped towards him, putting your hands inside your outer’s pocket. a smirk on your face as soobin sees a slight twitch in your smiling facial muscles—there is a leftover of what happened before, even if you changed your clothes to forget it.

“hey. thanks for coming.”

“no problemo. not gonna lie, though. it’s very suspect of you to ask me to go with you for things other than parties or you wanna screw me,” you let out a chuckle before licking your pretty chapped lips.

“i want a change of scenery for our whole ‘relationship’,” he says as he gives the air quotes, feeling one hand heavier than the other as he realizes the paper bag.

“shit-“ his hand fumbles before pushing the bag towards you. “for you,” he said with a thin smile that show his dimples.

“for me? choi soobin, are you possessed or something?” you asked, eyes squinting towards him while grabbing onto the strap of the paper bag.

“or something…” he follows, tucking his hands into his hoodie’s pocket with a cheeky smile on his face.

you peek from behind your eyelash at him, pouted lips showing as you reach into the bag. your palm touches a dense surface, a box small enough that you can grip it between your palm, thumb, and the rest of your fingers. pulling it out, you come upon a plain cream-colored box that is divided into two separate parts. carefully lifting the lid of the box, you identify the appearance of a fiber fabric soft beneath your touch when the light of the setting sun reflects the glint of the accessory inside.

eyebrows raised, you graze the small heart pendant on the golden necklace, seeing the reflection of your altered face with it being etched. you touch the ridge of the pendant when you perceive the familiar ridge like the one on your blush and powder container. opening it, you see it empty yet with the plain golden sheet of the whole necklace.

“what’s this for?” giggles slowly erupt from you as you tilt your head towards him.

“i’ve seen the next outfit you’re trying to make when i came to your room. the green flannel fabric one. i think this is perfect for the neck since it looks pretty hollow.” soobin replied, genuinely replied as he looked at you who let out a knowing glance at him. closing the box with the necklace, you put it back inside the paper bag before placing it in your own bag.

“i should credit you later when it’s done.” you winked as you tidied your bag’s strap across your chest, head turning towards the neighborhood. soobin saw the smirk you held fade away as your feet let you saunter around, leading the charge as he’ll guide you verbally to the cinema.

standing beside you, he sees the small frown you produced as you stare at the buildings around you two. your mind is whirring from the nostalgic feeling you experienced. looks of recognition create a glint in your eyes as your mouth follows, creating the surprised looks that resemble the theater kids when practicing for a stage production. you point towards a small lit-up booth as you tell him that that is your favorite ice cream parlor from the past.

“we should buy one after we finish watching.” soobin replied, the streetlamp’s light reflecting off both of your faces as you turned toward him.

“which way?”

soobin guides you by your shoulders as you walk down the way to the local cinema that the planetarium tour guide told him. both of your footsteps blend in with the cricket noises that are more prominent on this side of the town. he stops you as he looks up to the sign of the local cinema he found and enters inside. a lone worker works by the counter and a surprised yet genuine look comes across their face.

“welcome!” the worker said with a gentle smile.

“hi. tickets for two, please. and what movie is showing today?” soobin asked as you stood beside him. both of your dark clothes blended in with the whole moody lighting of the small lobby area of the cinema. only the lights from the display case give off an unnatural cold tint that stands out from the warm ambiance.

“we bought a box set from criterion with seven movies by the hong kong director, wong kar wai, that we’ll be playing for the entire month. for today, the movie is fallen angels,” the worker replied as they input the order into the computer of the cashier.

“i’ve heard of him before.” you whisper to him before nodding towards the worker. “we would love to watch it and a bucket of butter popcorn, please!”

soobin’s face contorts into a grin as he turns towards you, before continuing his order. when it’s done, he lets you bring the popcorn bucket while he holds both of your drinks to the show theater. stepping inside the lone theater of the establishment, the set of seats creates an intimate experience when looking at the screen. the cushion are soft and fuzzy as you and soobin sit on the seats you bought. not too high in the rows but also right in the middle of the columns—the best seats, according to the worker. besides, only the two of you are watching this evening.

as the light dims and the sound of the projector hums from behind the two of you, you are met with the unusual camera angle of two people in black and white frames. the angle makes the woman smoking so intimate, and enormous on the screen of the theater as soobin has to adjust his seating position. the environment surrounding her is also distorted, making the guy look farther than it seems. then the first sentence is uttered…

“are we still partners?”

soobin looked towards you when she spoke the words. he can’t seem to take his eyes off you as the movie continues, seeing the neon-green reflecting on your face as he turns back to focus on the killer, his agent, and chimo, who he identified with the most. both of your hands meet each other’s in the bucket of popcorn—unlike what the movies usually portray, both of you are not startled and pull away your hands. instead, you lean in towards him as you speak out about the killer’s agent outfit that contrasts with the blondie—both of them have a relationship of some sort with the killer. you also predict the reason blondie bleaches her hair blonde is because she wants to be remembered. yet, the ending struck him as he saw the two unlikely people embracing on the motorcycle as they, finally, see the light of day.

soobin couldn’t help to see him and you in their position.

stepping out of the theater, your feet immediately beeline towards the ice cream parlor you showed him. his long limbs able him to catch up as the night falls on the neighborhood, letting the exteriors of the stores that are still open light up the street. soobin caught the ring by the door as you were already on the counter ordering the ice cream you wanted. the worker gives you a small spoon of ice cream for you to taste as you let out a satisfying hum, rolling your eyes as it lands on soobin who is now standing beside you.

“it tastes just like what i remember. can i get that in a cup, please? what about you, bun?”

“make it two.” he lets out a small smile as the worker scoops the ice creams into both of your cups.

“gosh, i’ve been missing out on many things since i came back to haeyang.” you whispered to him before turning towards the worker, “i remembered you used to have a store in the downtown area… and it’s not there now.”

“yeah, that’s our old location. a big shot bought the building from the landlord and, intentionally, hiked the rent price. so, not seeing any attempts to negotiate with them even if we want to, we moved here,” the worker said as they placed the cups on the counter.

“oh…” you let out in a tiny voice, which soobin could still hear.

you let out a small thank you as soobin follows you to the small window seat booth overlooking the empty street as the moon rises to reach its highest point. holding the cup in your hand even if it makes your hand chilly, you nibble on the small spoon as you taste the food from your childhood. yet, the glee that you let out a few minutes ago doesn’t appear anymore as you gaze outside the glass window.

“wow…” you exclaimed before chuckling, “reality hits hard, huh?”

“huh?” soobin replied as you angled slightly toward him.

“this ice cream parlor is the favorite of my family. whenever summer comes or we want a sugar rush, we would always go here. mine will always be this flavor, while dad goes with the coffee and dark chocolate bitter flavors and mom’s with the sour ones. and now… well…” you glance away.

soobin hummed, “you don’t have to tell me.”

“i w-want to?” your voice pitches up before he watches your shoulder slouch, taking a breath as you resume.

“it hits differently now that my family has broken apart, tasting this same flavor that will always remind me of them. they separated when i’m in high school and i still wonder that, if i hadn’t been having too much fun with my friends, can i mediate whatever problems they have with each other?”

soobin frowns as he hears you talk, cracks upon cracks of the barrier you had crumbled as you continue. on how your mom’s rise in the career ladder leads to her infidelity with her co-worker. how even at the mature age of a teenager, they still want a custody battle of you. but you chose your dad as you then rented an apartment with him and still stayed in the city. you are glad to see him happy with his current girlfriend, but the guilt inside of you for not stopping the conflict still remains.

“they still love each other at that time when i can insert myself in. i don’t care that i had to be their negotiator and mediator, but when it was finalized, i had a lot to stomach. but the shame for not helping stings me so bad,” you replied, scrapping the now empty cup for the remaining melted ice cream. “i think that’s why eating this hits me so much with what happened in the decade ever since i moved out from haeyang.”

“how about you now?” that’s what soobin could muster that makes sense.

“i-uh…” you sighed, “everything changes so much in a decade. when i looked around the neighborhood, i recognized a few shops i went to as a kid. my head was in the clouds before and then seeing gentrification happening in real time now hurts me; especially on what i’ve missed about the haeyang i know. i used to live here, yet it feels so familiar and unknown at the same time. especially with-“ you paused as you looked down, seeing the last drop of the creamy liquid hit the bottom of the cup.

“with?”

“nothing. he’s- he’s not gonna remember me anyway,” you let out as you force your lips to smile, sending the signal to your being to lighten the mood up. “i’m feeling nostalgic and i got reminded of the diner that i used to go to. you wanna eat dinner?”

“we just ate.” soobin giggled as he saw you hyping yourself up.

“i know, but we walk so much and the food we eat is just snacks, okay? my treat.”

“you said we’re gonna split the bill?”

“the diner food’s gonna be my treat, bun. then, we’re gonna discuss the bill when eating. c’mon.” you said as you stood up from the seat and you both walked back into the night, forgetting why he brought you here in the first place when he noticed how you tried to conceal your conflicted thoughts. he should be more forward to asking about what happened in the photo his friend sent, but he just can’t let you be down again when he’s glad to see you’re doing well.

the cloud of smoke from you smells fruity as you take a drag of your vape. soobin couldn’t help but reminded of original timeline’s (y/n)’s attempt to smoke an e-cigarette on that beach which resulted in a coughing fit. he pulls out his own e-cig as you two sit at the bus stop, waiting for the designated vehicle to come as it’s still around ten now. the quietness and the ambient of the night consume both of you as the sound of the rushing waves follows behind from the waves; the waves that you could just go straight to feel from where you’re sitting at. thighs resting next to each other as your feet tap on the ground in a rhythm in which he also fills up.

when the bus arrives, you and him are the only passengers on board as you both sit next to each other. the scent of a sickly sweet fragrance emitted from your respective e-cigarettes fills the surrounding air you both are in. as the bus rolls down the street, you put your head on soobin’s broad shoulder, wriggling your fingers to find his to hold. soobin doesn’t want to comment anything to you, but he knows that starting pda in public is not your usual thing—yes, it’s still one even when you only have the bus driver steering the wheel. it’s always him initiating it first when in public and it’s always side hugs where he has his arm around your shoulders or your arm around his waist. many people know you two are fucking, but you both always show the ‘friend’ part of ‘friends with benefits’ in public.

but in this type of situation, soobin can only think about how convoluted everything is. his thoughts. his reality. his feelings towards you.

you didn’t let go of your interlocked hands as you guided soobin to the diner when you arrived at the downtown bus stop. the pavement was a little bit wet from the condensation of the colder air of the night. exterior signs light up the area as you both can hear the muffled bass booming from pubs, bars, and nightclubs—somewhere you both go to if you don’t have any objective like what tonight has. the street looks abandoned as the night slowly gets later and later, yet the glass windows of the building create a whole different atmosphere that oozes from it. your eyes sting as you see the building; all of them still look the same, but more look brand new from renovations and change of businesses.

yet, the lone american-style diner still remains in between the newly refurbished buildings. like a world outside of its own where time stops and the aesthetic staying that way for years upon years.

pushing the door of the entrance, you lead the charge as soobin follows you inside the unfamiliar place. his eyes meet the lone worker washing their hands before turning towards you. the same solemn smile on your face that shows in the old neighborhood appears again when you both admire the interior design.

“how may i help you?”

both of you shift towards the worker and expressions of subtle surprise blooms on both of your faces as you see who is talking.

isn’t that min?

soobin looks down at the name tag as he sees the word “miya“. when he met min and confided with them on how they also had to travel to another timeline to come out to their parents, he had a feeling that that meant they were here; but he didn’t expect them to work in the diner. the boy has walked past the art supply store a few times but never entered—because he only knows min, not miya.

“hi, this is still open, right?” you questioned.

“yeah! we’re open 24/7 now. you can sit anywhere you like.” the woman gestures to the numerous seats as you and him take off to one of the booths. settling on the cushion, your eyes still wander on the interior rapidly. fingers tapping in an undetermined rhythm as soobin looks across from him to your active sightseeing self. realizing his gaze from a small peek, you turn your head towards him and give a shrug.

“this is so weird!” you mouthed towards him as a shadow came from beside you, placing the menu on the table. staring at the names, your eyes sparkle as you see the overall diner menu that still has the same cuisines from what you remember—with a few new ones you don’t recognize.

“which one do you want?” you utter to the boy.

“i’ll follow you. you’re the one that knows.” he juts his chin towards you, signaling you to pick for him.

as you speak of the order, soobin turns towards the other woman in the room. miya still likes her shoulder-length hair just like how he remembers min has—though styled differently as min has a more masculine appearance. yet, he still can see the feminine influences in her looks as he could only remember min with their neutral look that is a combination of cottagecore and hipster—perfect for a place like haeyang.

then you cut off his thoughts, “hey, uh, miya?”

“yes?”

“is miss ahn still working here or??”

soobin hears you utter a familiar name. the last time he heard it was before he moved here. yeonjun has spoken of miss ahn before as she works in his favorite dining place—getting away from his stepmom’s wrath every time she went home after lectures. at that time he was in the original timeline with him though, he doesn’t hang out at the diner as much. soobin only knows of the diner from yeonjun’s story of him and (y/n) or the takeout both of them ate as they hung out.

“my aunt is still working here. but she’s taking the day shift, so here i am working for the night one.”

“oh, and also…” soobin cuts in, surprising you too. “don’t you also have a store for art supplies and such? i’ve seen you around there before.”

miya raises her eyebrows, stunned, “i do. it’s my mom’s actually. she works there most of the time and i help around as best as i can. working two jobs within the family business,” the woman chuckles, her hands still holding onto the notepad and pencil. “anything else?”

“can we…” you immediately spoke. “can we have two strawberry donuts, please? i don’t know if you cook them all day too because the display case is empty.”

“well… i have the entire night to spend making them. so two strawberry donuts it is.”

“thank you so much.” you convey a smile as miya walks away, slowly turning your head towards him as the smile turns sheepish.

“what are you thinking about?” soobin mumbled as you took the scenery once again before turning back to him.

“it’s been a long time since i went here. yet it all still feels the same as a decade ago. especially when i’m with yeon…” your voice trails off as soobin follows your eyeline. it’s set on the stools that are overlooking the counter, making it easier for customer to look at their orders being processed. soobin can clearly visualize who you’re with as he can see the imaginary apparitions of the young you he knows—the visualizer comes from the childhood photo you and he exchanged—and the young boy who is your childhood best friend.

“you don’t have to answer right away though, but i notice that you’ve been pausing when you almost say someone’s name.” soobin now takes the bait because of your pauses. he can’t wait longer to hear what your relationship with his former best friend, even if it’s different timeline-wise.

“fuck you for being so attentive.” you playfully nudge his hand on the table with yours. the expression you show becomes solemn once again as you open the cabinet in your memories of a certain boy you left a decade ago.

“back when i lived in haeyang, i had a childhood best friend named yeonjun. he’s like the ideal best friend you wanna have in your life. back then, we were always together. those stools right there,” you point towards the stools you gaze, “those were our designated seats here. every time we left school and before going home, we always hung out around downtown. this diner. the ice cream parlor. the bookstore which is now gone…”

you chuckled to yourself as soobin could imagine you playing the memories in your head like a movie, all before your smile turned downwards.

“then i had to move because of a job opportunity my mom had. but, i remember an anecdote around that time when i played at yeonjun’s house, i was drawing something while he was playing mario kart on the nintendo ds, hearing the sounds of the jingling doorknob of the front door as i saw his mom come in with the groceries, looking frazzled.” soobin’s attention caught on to the words as he can predict what yeonjun’s mom would be like—moments away safe from a car accident that could change your whole path in life.

“yeah, so a few days after that, i mentioned to him i’ll be moving to the city and yeonjun had this cute pout on his face before he hugged me so tight that my back hurt, saying that he’ll be missing me. that was a decade ago when children didn’t have social media to note who they were friends or acquaintances with—i was too young to even be allowed to open one by myself. so… yeah… we separated and i never reached out to him since.” you sighed, putting your head in your hands as you rubbed your face: bare of make-up.

“i want to, you know? reach out to him again. but i don’t know what i’m gonna feel. what if he forgot about me? 10 years is a long time,” plates of food and glasses of beverages are placed on the table as you hold on to the fork and knife, ready to munch it down by the looks of your face as you smell the delicious aroma.

“i don’t even know if he’s here or not. he might actually go to college somewhere else ‘cause i don’t see him around here or anyone that looks like him…” you continued as you cut a slice of the chicken before letting yourself consume it.

soobin recalls the conversation he had with original timeline (y/n) and how yeonjun is pursuing his love of video games in a college, but not in haeyang. but, this timeline’s you know nothing about it. something that makes a pang in soobin’s heart and something that seems to hit you too as you emote it so explicitly. he suddenly remembers what his dad would do when someone looks so sad, especially when there are fries on the plate.

you were focusing on eating your food when you heard a muffled call of your name. looking up, you snickered as you tried not to choke on your saliva, seeing soobin’s eyes smile with a skim glaze of regret as he’s sticking two fries so it looks like he has fangs between his top lip and upper teeth.

“soob- HAHAHAHA!” your body laughs along with your voice as soobin can’t control it anymore and follows along with you—plucking the fries and putting one in his mouth before shoving the other into yours. you continue to laugh as you chew the fried potato slice before you calm yourself down, wiping your eyes from the tears.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” you smack his upper arm as soobin grimaces, a look of playfulness showing on his face while you facepalm yours.

“a technique my old man has to make people laugh. glad i could make that work,” soobin answered with giggles between his words as you clenched your abdomen, can’t stop imagining soobin like that, especially since the fries were crooked when he did it.

“you looked like a dumb walrus,” you reply with a grin on your face as soobin’s smiley face follows along, showing his dimples that just melt you more.

“i’m your dumb walrus.”

“shut the fuck up.” you pick up a handful of fries before throwing it to him.

“oh, (l/n) (y/n). you don’t know what you’ve done, did you?” soobin rises from his seat and walks to your side of the booth. you bite your bottom lip as you scurry away deeper into the booth before he attacks you with tickles.

his fingers fluttered against your skin as you giggled, your own hands reaching out to tickle his sides as his body weakened and fell on top of yours. hairs fluttered everywhere as you both laughed, not caring if miya could see you because no other person was there other than her. his hand moves to push your hair away from your face as he stares down. your breathtaking face underneath the white ceiling lights, a different scenery than the dim lights that usually surround you both. his lips parted as he tried his best to breathe. that’s when you reach your hands around his neck and tuck him down, letting his plump lips meet yours.

the kiss started out deeper than the peck you give to him behind other people’s back, but lighter than the lustful ones you both indulged when you know fucking is the next stage. your hand caressing the ends of his black locks that are getting longer on his nape, an unfamiliar passion being shared between the two of you before you push his chest. pulling away, he sees your puffy lips from the elongated kiss as he pecks one last time before standing and going back to his seat. both of you chuckled as soobin gathered the fries you’d thrown to his seat back on your plate—some on his nearly empty plate as you squinted your eyes while you watched him eat it.

as you continue eating your late dinner, miya puts down the plate of the strawberry donuts you recognized on the table. drinking to cleanse the palate, you pick up a donut before pushing the plate to soobin, who follows what you’re doing.

“cheers!” you muttered as your donut and soobin’s tapped against each other before you took a bite of the side. the taste of the strawberry glaze on the top opens a cabinet full of memories of the time you and yeonjun always went here for it. the way your uniforms are a mess because of the hastiness of the time when yeonjun picks you up from your class. untied shoes, missing socks, and untucked shirts between the two of you as you remember the giggles flowing out of you two all throughout the streets and the diner’s interior.

it was you and yeonjun against the world at that time.

and now, you think, it’s you and soobin against the world.

placing the payment to miya as you pulled out your debit card, soobin’s clinginess comes back as his hands draped around your body from behind. yet, you don’t understand if he’s doing this because he’s horny or because he just wants to, which is weird when you’re taking into account your relationship status. friends with benefits was something that people usually hide behind others, something you and soobin agreed upon when you both decide to do it. but there’s something more lingering between the two of you as you and him start to get closer. it usually turns people off if they decide to indulge in it, but you also start to submit to it even when you’re not noticing—your mind makes you remember it with the locked hands as you guide him to the diner from the bus just from tonight.

then, you also remember the excerpt of thoughts you wrote about him and how it influenced you. maybe that’s what you’re feeling.

stepping out of the diner lets you both be blasted by the night breeze as you both tug your outers closer to your bodies. soobin’s hand holding yours as he tucks it into the front pocket of his hoodie. you and he try to match your feet when you walk as the giggle fest continues and flies into the open air.

“you know, soob. you’re nearly the epitome of love languages today.” words are spoken by you as the two of you waited for the red light of the crossing to turn green on the way to the campus grounds.

“what gives?” he puckered his lips, the deep dimple on his cheek showing as you both then continued walking. the light of the headlights from the car stopping at the red light illuminates your legs as you pass by.

“words of affirmation like what we spoke about, giving gifts with the necklace you gave me and the movie ticket, physical touch like,” you looked down at your hand tucked in soobin’s pocket, “right now, and quality time like the whole of tonight. you’re lucky i have a noon class today.”

soobin pokes his tongue to the walls of his cheek as he hums and continues walking as you both try to keep pace with each other. that’s when he sensed your grip in his hand getting tighter, making him pivot towards you as he raised his eyebrows.

“you never told me the reason you asked me to hang out tonight…” you asked, leaning forward as you let out a pout. your chin almost resting against his chest as you glance up.

“it’s… did you meet jeno today?” he tried to conceal it, but being straightforward seemed to be the right choice instead of tittering about the topic. at the mention of jeno, your pout falls away as you avert your eyes from him.

“han told me about it. he says that you were looking upset. so i brought you with me to clear your mind.” he continues as you nod.

“well, you did just that before you told me the whole reason, you dumb-dumb.” a genuine frown shows up on your face.

“hey! you’re the one who is asking…” he replied before he leaned forward, giving a peck to your temple. “besides, this whole thing that we are doing is the last love language that you’re talking 4 out of 5 of it.”

“huh?” you stopped as he cupped your cheek, turning your frown to a smile as he lifted the corners up.

“my act of service for you.”

-

soobin glances down at the sketches he made in his sketchbook. the combination of flowers and space-like caricatures being shaded with the blunt pencil as he can feel the callus forming near his fingertips because of the way he holds it. tracings outside of the main sketches are left untouched as the graphite’s residue stains his skin, creating splotches of color which tells the tale that the people who are drawn on that paper will not have the perfect figure, including hands and feet.

it’s been a day after he brought you back to your hall after your night out; spending the turn of the day together. he remembered your disappointed face when he told you he couldn’t join you in your room. not that he doesn’t want to, but the reminder of your relationship status stops and reminds him that you both are friends. soobin also reminds you of your class in the afternoon and how you have a meeting with the fashion show crew, how your face lets out a sudden surprise before resuming back to a bummer. yet, it’s a disappointment deeper than what he used to see. the way your eyes glance at him before he left makes him recall how your face fell when he mentioned jeno. a look he never sees on you, yet you shake your head away as you show him the small smile he adores. even with that, the eyes can’t lie.

in the numerous sketches he had drawn yesterday and today, he also made a sketch of your eyes as he remembered them—visualizing the emotion he sensed when you glanced at him. even han commented on it when he stumbles into the room where soobin is tattooing a guy in their parlor, seeing the sketch on his work desk even with its unfinished status; it still looks good and real.

after class yesterday, he had a tattoo appointment for a client. a guy who requested wanted a simple tree on his lower arm that soobin sketched out. when the client told him what he was sketching represented one of haeyang’s signatures, he couldn’t help but remember the tattoo he gave to yeonjun from his original timeline: the tattoo of the ocean wave and the mountain to represent haeyang. soobin could recollect how the other boy grimaces as he grips the bed sheet when tattooing—it is near the neck where nerves go through to the spine and he can imagine how ticklish and hurtful it must be. that’s when he looks up from the back when tattooing to see the face of the yeonjun he knows. his pink hair is still there yet fading away as the bleached locks show up because he’s too lazy to dye it back. soobin had to tell himself to get rid of that thought so he didn’t ruin the tattoo for the client; the hand holding the gun trembling as he remembered his best friend.

as the mid-term week is nearing, soobin has been focusing more on finishing his mid-term projects as a way to “clear his mind.” but the events of the week’s start still haunt him like a shadow behind a beam. yet, they inspired him to do his projects. all the ideas flowing in his mind for his animation and visual storytelling classes are everything related to isolation, loneliness, alien and outer space surroundings. he’s glad that his projects are all individual works cause he doesn’t wanna bother to tell people why he chose aliens in the first place as a topic to do.

soobin rubbed the bridge of his nose as he sat back down on his chair after showering, yet working on the sketches of anything involving what goes on in his mind—mid-term projects, client orders, and you—still makes him sweat profusely. it’s like he could see himself in a third-person view, his figure leaning against the desk with his open sketchbook, his open laptop, and the digital drawing pad left on while he’s here burning his mind out. in times like this, he usually has one of his friends that he relies on, usually han as they are the closest. but when he’s feeling existential, he concludes that only he can understand how to handle it. people’s gonna say he’s crazy if he tells them that this is not his home and that he wants to go home to somewhere beyond this current space and time.

just like what he heard from you two days ago and how you reached out to him at the right time to think about everything all over.

y/n: hey bun!!

y/n: you got free time today?

he reads the screen after the vibration passes, unlocking it and typing his answer before his mind stops him once again.

soobin: yeahhh

y/n: come to my room pls. need help

‘what are you up too?’ he asked himself, yet his body reacted in an instant as he packed his bag before going out of his room. the journey to your hall doesn’t really take long since it’s just a few buildings from here. however, when he walks out the hallways and onto the paths of the campus grounds, he can sense his being floating away. a few people who recognized him gave a small greeting, yet all he could do was give a small nod and smile before he went past them. not everybody knows soobin like everybody knows you, but he can perceive the unintentional pressure of being a known person in his year, his major, or even the whole alt scene in haeyang institute.

stepping inside the hall, he climbs the familiar flights of stairs that is imprint in his memory ever since you showed him which room is yours, knowing which side he should walk to not bump into anyone he comes across. his feet automatically walked through the hallways where guys, girls, and more hang out in the communal areas or even just by the walls in front of the rooms. seeing your name on the board as he walks to the door, he knocks on it with his signature set of knocks you’ll recognize. not going to lie to himself; this feels like the time when he waited in front of the same door at the start of the week, where he was horny and want to meet you, but he realized that you aren’t who you are—an alternate version of you is there instead.

the door opens as a hand reaches out and suddenly grabs his wrist, pulling him inside as it slams shut faster than when it opens, startling himself and even you. you rested your back against the door in an outfit he recognizes as the outfits you usually wear in your room—the tank top and shorts combo. adorning your neckline is a simple gold chain from one of your jewellery collections and he could see the ink of your matching tattoo with his from the sleeveless top. yet, your eyes appear like it was blasted open as the shock dissipates and is replaced with calm, combined with your shuffled hair as you step closer to him.

“glad you came,” you said as you tugged on his wrist. “now, can you undress for me, please?”

“woah woah, (y/n).” he tenses up his arm, “you sure you want us to do this? you’re frazzled.”

“what do you mean- oh for fuck’s sake, soobin!” you turn away as his body follows, eyes widening at the view of the rest of your room.

fabrics of all different colors are thrown on the floor as you lay out your folding desk out from the corner of your room. separated parts of clothing already cut and needed to be sewn together. he catches the green flannel fabric he saw a few nights ago now already become a crop top shirt, a fishnet top showing underneath it around the midriff and stomach area with a creme skort around the waist; the gold necklace he gave to you finishing the outfit. other than that, he sees the other finished clothes thrown on your mattress, some with a semblance of clothes, but some are still too wide to even be called clothes.

“you’re gonna help be my mannequin for just a few of my pieces. just stand there and look pretty while i adjust how it will look.” soobin hears your command, seeing the pencil behind your ear leaf as you tug one of the clothing to him. a light brown-colored shirt made of silk that is around the size of his torso—buttons are still not sewn as soobin reaches behind him, pulling his t-shirt off and exposing his skin to you. he smirks when he heard you little gasp before you walk towards the desk, pulling out pieces of the clothing on the stacks from the top of your bed.

tucking his arms into the sleeves, he realized how wide the diameter was and that it fit perfectly for him. but when he looks down, he notices the end of the sleeves covering nearly half of his palm. the opening of the shirt rested on his body, making a silver of his skin exposed. humming a tune that he shared with you, you turn around with your nose scrunching as you take in the sight of soobin in your sewn shirt. you glance towards the excess fabric as you kneel, making soobin follow your movement as you pull the pencil from your ear, the other hand reaching for his.

“is this around your wrist?” your touch seeps from behind the fabric as you let your fingertip trail up his covered palm to his wrist.

“that’s the one.” soobin confirmed as your thumb pressed on his wrist, right above where the pulse should be.

“okay,” you replied hastily, pushing the pointy tip of your pencil against the fabric where he had told you as you moved with your knees on the floor towards the other hand, finding the right spot and creating small line marks on both of them. pushing yourself up with your hands gripped around his lower arm, they hover around his torso as you grab the ends where the buttons should be and gently pull them simultaneously. yet, the small exert of force still makes soobin hunch forward.

“stand tall.” you push his chin up with your fingers as you tuck the ends towards each other; soobin straightens his back and sees that the ends overlap. your hand plays around with your pencil and turns it around your knuckles and digits expertly. leaning close, soobin can sense your breath against his body as you mark where the shirt ends overlap with each other. he could feel the tickling sensation threaten to burst him but he’s trying his best not to let out a giggle, focusing on you who is biting your bottom lip in focus.

“you’re so tense.” soobin replied as he reached his hand up towards your face, pushing his thumb against the tightened muscles between your eyebrows. he watched your stare calming down from the tension as you tilted your gaze at him. it’s a habit of his when he sees you frowning or jittery, not wanting you to create unnecessary wrinkles on your face just from a bad mood. but, he detected that it’s been there multiple times for the past few months. the way your face looks more tired than usual when you’re not wearing make-up—still his favorite looks of yours. the area under your eyes is sunken as he sees the dark circles forming. your cupid’s bow also turned downwards naturally with the emotions you’re having. the way you have been hiding something from him in your usual pillow talks to even sleeping right after: a sign of your tiredness.

“distract me then,” you replied as you leaned back, allowing a small smile out as you diverted towards your table; pulling out a piece of pants made of dark blue flannel fabric as he took it from you.

“what’s these outfits for?” he pulls down his sweatpants even without your command as you rotate away and rummage to your little cabinets full of pins, needles, and threads. turning around, soobin holds onto the top of the hem of the pants as you carefully tug the shirt in, pulling out the safety pins you bring.

“the fashion show,” you mumbled as you tucked the pins onto the hem of the pants so they fit perfectly with his hips. “the schedule for my model search moved forward into two weeks from now and i can’t do the fitting if my clothes aren’t done. so i have to, at least, make some of the outfits now that i already sketched them out. that’s why i couldn’t contact you yesterday cause i was doing that sort of stuff while juggling with classes and meetings. “

you continue putting the pin on the shirt he’s wearing, right in the middle of his mid-riff as the shirt only shows the chest part of his torso, “and i see a lot of flannels.”

“yeah, made of deadstock fabrics. i still wonder why people don’t use any of the fabrics available instead of using new ones ‘cause you can find gems within the fabrics that people say are ‘outdated’. “ you let out a smile as you pull down your fingers from making the air quotes, taking in the outfit you made him put on. grabbing your sketchbook, you made notes on the exact outfit sketched as soobin stood there leaning on one of his feet, effortlessly modeling for you.

“how do you feel? do you think there’s something amiss?” soobin’s body is being turned by you to the full-body mirror leaning against your wall. your head peeking from behind him as he takes a look at the outfit, seeing the expanse of his skin bare and in need of something to fill it up.

“a necklace would look good. the chest part looks kinda empty,” he answered to his own question.

“that’s what i was thinking.” you pat his shoulder before going to your bed again. you pick up a black tank top and cargo pants as you twist to him, his hand/eye coordination works in tandem when you throw the pieces his way—which he catches perfectly.

“i’ve been wanting to try a fashion set with flannel in them. it can blend in as an all-year type of fabric based on when you wear it and how you style it. it is that versatile.” you mentioned as you returned to the desk, hearing the ruffle of fabric pulled from behind you when you found the sheer fabric that you had only finished making the torso part.

soobin looks surprised as he takes in the star-patterned fabric you tossed to him. the silver sparkles refract the light from the sun coming in when you only give him the part that appears like a vest. then, you bring a long rectangle fabric that you hold near your chest as soobin puts on the unfinished piece. when he allows his eyes to roam once again, he catches onto the other theme he doesn’t notice the whole time as he focuses on the flannel: the space-themed fabric.

he finally sees that one of the tops you made—a sleeveless tube-style top—has the patterns of the moon phase on it. an outer made of cargo was painted with the monochromatic two-color version of earth enlarged, leaving only nearly 2/3 shown on the fabric. accessories that you’ve picked and put on top of outfits have a star, a sun, a moon, or a planet. he shifts back to you as you continue to put the same sheer fabric for the vest he wears on his arm, wrapping the width of it around his muscles.

“is this too tight?” you pulled the fabric around his arm as it wrapped around the skin, making his arm full of speckles of stars—perfectly seeing the image of space on his skin with his saturn tattoo on his upper sleeve.

“nah,” he replied, making you grin as you pinched the two ends of the fabric before marking the right place to sew. “what’s with the space concept?”

head tilts up, you lick your lips as you pull yourself away to place the fabric away. you return with a measuring tape as you let him take off the vest he wore, letting you see him only with the tank top and the pants you just finished sewing last night.

“if you think of it, you might see the square in the flannel fabric as stars like i do. a similar pattern, yet one is so coordinated while the other is chaotic,” you responded while measuring around his legs; length and diameter, from his waist to his chest.

you let out a giggle from the words you said as soobin lets out a pout, the dimples on his forming—it is his curious face after all. however, he felt like you were restricting something.

“not gonna lie, i was having a burnout at the start to choose what kind of theme should i come up with for this line. this is, like… the first time i made outfits that aren’t for me to use. that’s why all of them started so oversized because i have to think about the models that are gonna use my creations.” soobin sees your mouth move as you put the measuring tape from his shoulder to his wrist, and continue writing the numbers in the book.

“but then i got reminded of you. your love for flannel shirts for an outer and the space-like tattoos on you, and both of them seem so...” you subtly lick your lips, “alternative. and that’s why i decided street fashion is like the basic style of it. using flannel and space-themed fabrics all around to showcase my arts and skills.”

soobin sees you stepping back, hand reaching up to your waist after putting the measuring tape around your neck. the plastic material of the tape grazes your skin at the neck as you give him a sheepish smile.

“i just realized that you’re my muse for this line.” you chuckled while shaking your head, brushing your hair away as you massaged your temple. the boy hoped he wasn’t doubting it, that you genuinely mentioned to him how he is your muse for this whole collection, like you to him with his tattoo ideas and sketches he has made.

your body leans back against the windowsill as your shoulder relaxes. the sunbeam reflecting your face as you stretch your spine. the way you close your eyes and sigh, he realizes just how vulnerable you may seem to be. the way you describe what you’re doing to yourself yesterday makes him figure out that you’re overworking a tad bit too much from the regular. but you are a workaholic after all and it seem to be in your second nature to do juggle these complicated things.

yet, soobin worries for you more than you realize. maybe even more than your best friends realized.

“i’m done with five outfits now. i gotta finish sketching the others,” you mumbled to yourself, making soobin invisible before you opened your eyes and met his.

“what is your usual place to get inspiration?” you questioned.

and soobin knows exactly the answer.

“there’s this music store that i buy things from. they have listening rooms so i picked up a few vinyl lps, tapes, or cds before plugging in and letting them inspire what i was making next.”

“that sounds so nice…” you let out a little smirk, “you think you can introduce me to that today?”

“i’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he replied, making you widen your eyes as he looked like he was being caught; making both of you chortle. you roll them playfully as you push yourself off from the windowsill.

“alrighty, we shall change our clothes then.” you tuck the curtains of your window so it closes until there’s only a little gap, letting the light go in but more of them have a bit of shade. soobin carefully reaches for the clothes you make draping his body and take them off as you turn towards your wardrobe, opening the doors to let him see the outfits you have worn—some he recognized and also didn’t. as you reached for the bottom of your tank top, he realized just how you also didn’t mind changing in front of him. well, you both have seen each other naked in many ways.

however, soobin’s eyes landed on something on your waist.

as you let your tank top and shorts hang on the small rack outside of the wardrobe—seems to be reserved for the finished outfits for the show but you don’t care, soobin analyzes the anomaly on your skin: a dark patch on the right side of your waist. it’s large enough that it stretches from the top of your underwear to the dip in your waist, and dark enough that it looks brand new. he sure has bruised you up when you have sex, but the last time he had sex with you was a few nights ago and he didn’t hold you that tight.

“you’re bruised up.”

your head rotates sideways, peeking from the corner of your eyes towards him, “it, it’s okay. i was in a hurry and accidentally hit a table’s edge. it hurts but not as painful as yesterday when it happened,” you assured as you tuck the ends of your top for the day down to cover it.

a hit to the edge of a table doesn’t make a bruise that deeply colored. he knows because he has done that tons of times before. so, it’s either that that didn’t happen or you’ve crashed yourself against the table so hard. it made him super skeptical, but he had no right to demand an answer from you.

he’s not your significant other after all.

when you both walk down the path and sidewalk of the street to the music shop he had introduced—both of you coupling up with your sketchbooks and bags in hand—soobin always stands by your side as he seems to be worried that you might accidentally hit something. you felt his hand hovering behind your lower back, eyes wandering around to see stray poles on the cracked concrete pavement before navigating you to walk around it. the heat of the sun hitting both of you as you let the afternoon shine evaporate the tiredness out of you.

he detects, from your expression, how curious you are of the place he goes to, strolling around the neighborhood he has familiarized himself with as your legs walk at the same pace as his. both of you went past the bars that many college students go to and many more hangout places. but the place he and you approached looked almost abandoned with a more run-down appearance than the cafes you passed by. yet, when he pushed the door inwards to the unseemingly quaint shop, he heard you whoop.

the sound of harmonies playing from the speaker makes his heartbeat follow along. inside the building, the racks of jackets full of vinyl lp, compact discs, and tapes erected from the ground like a block of skyscrapers. the whole interior design of the music store looks like the combination of hipster style and cottagecore—something that is so haeyang-coded. as it was in the afternoon on a weekday when people are more focused on lunch, the place was empty except for the owner manning the cashier: the same man he and yeonjun met when they discovered this little gem. at that time, all three of them were talking about what it means to be a punk, what the situation was when the man’s love for music grew—including his punk phase. the man is a music connoisseur as he answers with the tacit bits of knowledge memorized in his head—a smile on his face as he can’t help but be glad to see younger generations discovering older songs.

even though in this timeline soobin and the man just started getting closer when he is in the institute, the man doesn’t change much when he meets him again. he still has the sound of jazz fusion playing in his store—becoming the staple background music that guides people to pick which album they want to listen until they go to the listening booths and might claim it as theirs.

“soobin!” the man’s exclaim seems to surprise you enough with his booming voice that you put your hand on your chest.

“mr. kim! any of the listening booths are empty?”

“all of them are, and…” the man’s head turns towards you as you give a nod. he gives a small, subtle gesture to soobin as he steps closer, leaving you to stare at the racks of jazz musicians’ albums in front of you.

“that’s the girl?” mr. kim whispered as he nodded. the older man had caught him mumbling about you before when soobin was drawing his sketches, a silhouette of a woman in front of a window, as he wore the headphones while sitting by the turntables. mr. kim was the first person he even confided with about you—and original timeline (y/n) was the second one. he didn’t mention that you both are friends with benefits, just a friend who he has underlying feelings for.

soobin hummed, a tight lip smile formed along with his dimples, and the man tapped his arms as he follows his expression with his own set of dimples.

“which ones do you want to hear? i think i still have some prog rock albums that aren’t in the racks as i haven’t put them out of the crate.” mr. kim mentioned, motioning to the crate where it has a board and words written in red marker that says, “sell your vinyls, tapes, and cds here for PROFIT!!”; like a pawn shop for physical music media that is dwindling along with the gentrification of haeyang’s culture.

“i’m just gonna grab the one i’m still listening to. also, is the ok computer vinyl still there?”

“it’s sold, but the tape version is still there. you know how to set it up, right?”

soobin playfully rolls his eyes and his smile widens, “of course i do.” then, his eyes go back to you, who is looking at the assortment of blue note records jazz album covers. your fingers stop pushing the album towards you as you continue gazing at the cover.

“why is this so cool though?” you muttered to yourself as he approached, taking pictures on your phone as you flicked the jacket and saw another one behind it. soobin picks up the album he hasn’t finished listening to on the rack across from you and the white radiohead tape that seems to be from the japan release—even with the different writing script, the color scheme can’t fool him for any other album.

“you wanna listen to an album?” he asked, his low register voice vibrating until it reached you. you looked up after taking another picture of the jazz album cover to see him in front of you. the racks stand in both of your ways to each other.

“no, i just like the album covers. like, the more i think of it, the more underrated that album cover as a form of art is,” you said before tucking your phone in your pocket and placing the albums back in their positions.

“that’s what i said before!” he exclaimed back, startling you before your eyes curled, “i mean, i have thought about that before and it is underrated. glad that we have that thought on the same page.” he continues as you just chuckle.

soobin’s moving figure makes you follow him as you meet three doors with a frosted glass window and a small room inside them. entering through one, you’re met with a wall covered in sound-deafening foam and others with musician posters—similar to what soobin’s room looks like in his hall. the floor is carpeted as cushions are available on the floor across the table that holds a radio-turntable combo; serving for vinyl lp, cd, tape, usb, and radio with their dedicated ports and places. ‘so neat.’ you said to yourself.

as soobin closes the door, you can’t help but snicker as he seems to think of what your reaction is, tugging off the shoes as you let your feet graze the carpeted floor. the boy puts down the vinyl disc on the turntable as he adjusts the needle carefully—your careful eyes seeing the shiny part of the disc from the rigged ones. the noise and texture sounds then become clear as the sound of the loud instrumental rings by the room, making him turning the knob of the volume down.

you both settle down as you smell the fresh clean air from the air purifier. the sound of the frantic instrumentals makes you second guess yourself from the sound that you usually listen to with the boy before you. soobin seems to not open his sketchbook as he nods his head to the beat, following the bass hidden underneath the layers. he pushes his body down against the table, making him sit across from where you stand as you can listen to the soundscape of the room change from the combination of the song playing and the hum of the air conditioner. his eyes closed as you watch him enjoying the music while you pull the cushion after putting your bag down; sitting right on it right in front of him as you push the other cushion towards him.

soobin has a small smile that is growing and growing when he hears music he enjoys; a habit that you recognize from the many times he and you are listening to some recognizable or new songs at parties. but, as you heard the song turning mellow, his facial expressions change—lips still in the same position but the way his muscles relaxed makes you also exhale. you had never seen him this serene before. though he is more on the quiet and—sometimes—colder side, you haven’t seen him look this calm and collected in the whole time you know him.

maybe there is something that you don’t know about soobin, the same as he does about you.

sighing wistfully, you let your back slide down on the wall across from him as he sways his head and slaps his thighs to the rhythm. you tug your sketchbook to your lap and let your feet meet his own as your toes curl on top of his; making soobin awoken from his trance as you take in the new sound that seems to be a new song playing.

“shit, fuck! sorry…” he said as you see him rubbing his face, a certain pressure pressed near his eyes as you see a little tear falling out that is probably from the moist.

“i don’t want to interrupt you but you’re the one that invited me here. and you’re the one who chooses the albums and-“

“yeah. i always just fell into an immediate trance when hearing prog rock.” soobin said as he let his spine straight: a position similar to what you are doing.

“prog rock?” your eyes blink.

“progressive rock. your typical rock sound, but it has a more psychedelic tinge and more progressive, hence the synths and name,” he described as you nodded. you recognized his affinity for alt-rock, but you didn’t know that he also listened to more sophisticated and complex things you didn’t know existed until now. maybe it’s because of the people that surround you and him make you think he listens to mainstream music that college kids listen to—and even if it’s an older one, it’s popular because of social media.

“which band is this?” your question is met with a small smile.

“this is genesis‘ ‘and then there were three‘, the band’s first album after one of their members left, which is a ridiculous name because of how laughable it is.” he giggled the last few syllables out before calming himself, “but they’re so good. the drummer is the frontman, which, at that time is, so rare to find and i think it still is now. i’m currently running down their discography and have listened to all the albums before this for almost a month now. so, that’s why i’m focusing on it instead of doing anything else.”

“but, you don’t listen to this track seriously?” your pitch rises, head tilting towards one of your shoulders.

“this track is my favorite of the album because i stumbled on it by accident while searching for new music to stream. the last track of the album, follow you follow me.” he said as the exact words were being sung by the frontman, coming from the speakers. “and after this, i’m moving to radiohead…”

the lyrics ring inside your head as soobin’s fingers tap against his bent knees, curling them close to his chest as you fit in between him and the wall. the song tells a call for adventure as the man calls for his partner if they will follow him as he follows them. your eyes move around his face, his eyes looking elsewhere in a trance as he follows the rhythm. seeing his defined jawline casting a shadow from the ceiling lights and the words of the lyrics being analyzed in your mind, you think of how it matches with your situation.

you two have been following along with each other. even if you have friends here in the form of karin, elle, and yizhuo—soobin is the only friend you can comfortably talk with, and he seems to be like that to you too. but even now, you notice just how he has been trying to keep up with you. when it comes to soobin, you never spend more than twice a week with him. yet, here you are on your third outing. it gives off, to you, a sense of the unknown. you don’t know what he’s been thinking of you to make you go with him nor why you are always agreeing to go as he asked at such lucky times. maybe, time and fate have their own significance for each other. maybe, it’s the words you’ve written in the note titled ‘he’ about him. maybe, it’s the whole situation you are now in that you wanna escape from. and you felt the pain in your waist coming back again.

as you leave your own trancing daydream, you view soobin’s back turned towards you as he puts in the tape to the rectangle-shaped player and presses the play button. he carefully wipes the dust off the vinyl disc before returning it to the jacket, the sound of a wailing guitar heard as he puts the disc jacket on the table, returning to face you as he places the sketchbook against the muscles of his folded legs. you let the music play as the vastness calls for the ideas in your head out into the room, waiting for you to piece them up and show them outward with your design.

“what are you making?” you asked him as you saw a few bordered rectangles on his sketchbook.

“a storyboard. for class. you?”

“finishing up the outfit sketches.” the reply is already on the tip of your tongue as you easily speak out. soobin lets out a smile you’ve seen so much that you know what it implies.

“let’s battle it out! we have until the album ends to make the most progress between both of us. then, we’re gonna compare them!” soobin said, matching his vigor with the underlying one you have exuding from your eyes and body language.

“deal! as the next song starts?” soobin hums to your reply as you let the guitar continues the run along with the wailing vocals.

the starting note of the next song is queueing you up as you let your pencil brush against the paper, leaving a trail of lines that culminate to become a drawing as the song continues. taking a glimpse at soobin, his eyes are staring at his page as his hand moves around the paper. the sound of scratches from both pencils creates echos that adds to the soundscape of the room. your thumb brushing against the graphite as you create shading as best as you can, fingerprints tainted by the grey substance as you focus back on continuing—not wanting to lose the battle.

no spoken word is needed as the two of you sketch the hour away, sometimes catching each other’s eyes as you take a peek from behind your page. soobin’s not-so-comfortable position makes him straighten his legs toward you. his legs are now on either side of you, almost encasing you between his legs as you continue before you retaliate by putting your feet on top of his thighs. the hour passed and you let the last note ring before it fades. you pat the seat beside you as soobin crawls, pushing his cushion first so he sits exactly by your side. you let him have his moment to settle as he leans against the foam wall, remembering your muttering between the two of you on how you’re the lucky one to get the wall instead of him.

“if you don’t share your hand, you lose. rock paper scissors!.” soobin exclaimed as you instantly reacted, putting out your hand out of the three choices. your eyes stare between the two hands as you let out a grunt, seeing you lose your hand against him.

“you first!” soobin exclaimed like a child as he waited eagerly to show him what you made. snuggling closer, you let soobin wrap his arm comfortably around your shoulders as you open the pages you’ve filled, noted with words by your wooden pencil that seem shorter than before. your palm has patches of graphite and even left fingerprints on the light-colored paper.

“it’s basically like the ones i’ve made. the ‘alternative scene-street style’ idea. i realized that i don’t really have to design an entire outfit because i wanna incorporate more graphic t-shirts.” you guide soobin’s eye line with the other end of your pencil, showing a figure of a male with a t-shirt and pants that look so much like him, “i also wanna explore vintage wear and bringing the past back so that i can use that as an excuse to do thrift shopping.”

“but also,” you tugged your knees to your chest as you opened the next page, seeing outfits with squares on them, “i want to push the flannel fabric more while trying to make it genderless. there’s more skirt-shorts combo i wanna try making that can be used by anyone.” you resume, soobin’s eyes move to your face from your hand that is fidgeting with the pencil as he returns to see a small doodle of one of the figures seemingly holding a helmet in their hands.

“what’s that one?”

“this?” you point with the pencil as he hummed.

“i had to continue the space theme somehow, so i added a few elements of that, specifically the old ones like vintage space outfits. i have to find space-themed specific graphic tees and maybe space-themed patches i can sew for the outers. it could be star wars or star trek-based, but it’s definitely gonna be about outer space. so i can conclude that it’s gonna be an alt scene line with flannel as the main fabric and has a vintage theme that includes space elements.” you replied before clearing your throat, a small smile adorning your face as you turned to face him.

“and you have to finish it by when?”

“two weeks. though the others had about a month to finish.” your voice trails out, curving sideways when you speak. yet, soobin caught that as he watched you shaking your head before returning to him.

“now, what do you have?”

soobin opens his book as you both see the rectangles scattered on the pages. scribbles of notes written on the side as well. your eyes observed how most of them are created with the pencil’s infamous shade, except for one thing.

an alien made of blue ink.

trailing through the rectangles you noticed are numbered, you can visualize a crowd of people slowly opening (from the arrows drawn outwards) as the next rectangle focuses on the alien, holding a cup of something that is made by the pencil; a cup that is something so other world for it. the next part is how the composition looks like it is taking place from behind the alien: in the alien perspective as soobin shaded a figure that contrasts with the others that are just outlined. then, a picture of the alien looking solemn as you assume it still looks at the figure before an arrow under the head signals how it will turn its head. the next part is a blurry visual which is made of the graphite pencil being blurred to create an undefined look—catching soobin’s hand who also has patches of them too—as it continues to the next part when the alien opens a door to a balcony.

soobin, knowing that you are done inspecting the final rectangle, turns the page to the next one (the final one) as you are met with a page full of detailed drawings. your eyes expand as you can’t hold back the exclamation when you let your eyes trail the sketches of the planetary bodies decorating the sky, the alien on the left corner of the whole two pages as you examine soobin’s details on what seems to be a comet strip. planets of differing sizes made with blue ink in front of the shaded pencil background. the ring planet design looks the same as soobin’s tattoo as you study the drawing, being pulled in by a feeling that is slowly getting familiar.

“why do you like space so much?” the words came out as you’re still looking at the drawn paper. rustling came from beside you as soobin repositioned himself, preparing to answer such a hard question from a simple sentence.

“well, to me, outer space is a time machine—timeless and mysterious. lights are being beamed across a blank background that was sent millions upon millions of years even before us. it’s something new and old at the same time. yet, we don’t know how to pinpoint anything until we see it. i realized that the world is larger than what i thought when i searched more about it.”

“and the alien?” your words stung him more. gulping down his saliva, he exhales the breath that was caught in his throat. blinking as he tries to find the right answer.

“it’s… me. it’s me.” soobin said, nodding his head before continuing, “i’ve been having this- very existential episodes recently, and the more i see the alien, the more i relate to it. it’s like being stuck within an invisible force that, just, doesn’t want you to adapt. yet, you’re trying your best to do so before you realize that that invisible force was there all along.”

the boy turns towards you, “then it came crashing down as excruciating as an hourglass that has been turned upside down, each grain drops, it becomes more painful as you slowly realize it.” he licked and pouted his lips, his dimples showing up with shadows underneath it courtesy of the lights in the ceiling. as you are taking in his words, you can’t stop yourself from shaking your head even if you want to do it inside your mind only.

“soob, you’re, like, the most adaptable being i’ve known in my life. the way you just embrace haeyang’s alt scene like you’ve stayed here before going to the institute is amazing to me. you even have a job here even if it is commission-based, but you can still independently get money.”

“but, i’m not as adaptable as you, you know? i’ve said this before when we met but you’re a social butterfly who everyone knows. people sing praises to you as you try to include everybody in the conversation. that openness is how you meet me after all—even with us looking like total opposites of each other,” he elaborates as you give him a small grin.

“yet we are the same.” you raise your hand, nearly touching soobin’s face as it creates a small startle from you before he grasps the hand in his and presses it to his cheek. the warmth of him curing the cold on your palm, his eyes looking more like stars that besprinkle the sky beyond the light blue of the day.

you climb onto soobin’s lap as he allows it, his bent knees creating a backrest for you as you slowly ruffle his black hair before tidying it up softly. it’s a habit of yours that soobin notices when you both are in bed after doing everything you did, stabilizing each other’s breathing pace as you play with his head that rested on your chest. soobin, usually, follows along with the rhythm you created as he tries to breathe, looking up towards you who has a shine on your face from the phone while you’re scrolling through your chats in the dim light of his room before you notice him staring at you.

“if you see yourself as an alien, then i’m an alien too.” your hands wrapped around soobin’s broad shoulders, his eyes tilting up as you look downward. he connects your forehead as you meet the sound of his exhales before he closes the gap and lets both sets of lips connect. tilting your head to the side, you let yourself hold on to soobin’s pronounced clavicle as he lets one of his hand cup your face, not wanting to let go. the other hand trailing down your side as it comes across something that makes you yelp.

“OW!” you hiss, tilting back on soobin’s legs as you find his hand at the bruised area of your waist. then, it all comes down in a flood to you as you glance back at soobin’s eyes now full of concern, a look you wish you didn’t see as it just breaks your heart a bit more.

“sorry. i-“ the way his warm palm slowly lands on the surface of the part you’re hurt, as if soothing it down, “i noticed it back in your room. what happened, honestly?”

your breath came out staggering, mind floating elsewhere as you mumbled, “that’s why i relate to you so much.”

“what?”

“oh-“ you’re hoping he didn’t catch that as you continue, “it’s from the fashion show meeting when i acc- accidentally hit the table. i was in a hurry and crashed onto the table. so yeah, haven’t gotten time to compress it yet since i’ve been hustling to finish a few of the outfits.”

“you have to. it’s internal bleeding, (y/n).” his voice presses into a tone that lets out an unfamiliar emotion from when you usually hear from him, making you look away as he still tries to catch your vision’s line. his hand reaches back to cup your cheek as you give up on avoiding him. you can sense the sting in your eyes as if soobin’s gaze is the one that triggers it.

“when’s your deadline supposed to be and why is yours different from the others?” soobin’s voice has an unfamiliar grit to it. you can hear the scratch when he spoke and from how his jaw becomes tense.

“a month from now. and, and that’s because i have so many things to do, soob. other than the outfits, i still have to arrange the show and whatnot-“

“you have juniors and colleagues that can help you with that, (y/n).”

the way soobin speaks about your position on the staff makes your heart feel heavier than ever, and more and more of your tiredness peaks out of their sleep to push you to realize more than you already know. you let him caress the apples of your cheeks as you relish in his warmth that comforts you, that makes you stay awake like the ray from the sun hitting your skin.

as the boy sees you with your eyes closed, calming yourself down as he hears his pulse on his thumb from the push on the surface of your skin, he remembers the specific day on the beach once again.

he observed original timeline (y/n) enjoying the calm wave as the sunbeams put a spotlight on both of them. the boy swears he might’ve picked up her sob as she told him about yeonjun, but he also remembers a sentence that was supposed to be fleeting yet it sticks to him more. he had done one of them before, so why not continue?

“come with me to watch the band gigs tomorrow, bun. it’s a weekly show i usually go to hear and find new indie acts.” your eyes open as soobin brushes your creases before you let out a frown. the way your eyes gleam at him and how you slant your head tells him everything about what you want to say, and that it’s another correct advice to give from the girl he met for a few moments about you. of course, cause she is you.

“bun. i, i want to but there’s another meeting going on and i have to go.” yet even with that, he can understand you speak through your gritted teeth.

“come on. procrastinate with me, (y/n). fuck them for not letting you have your free time.” his hand brushes your hair as you gaze downwards at his rising and falling chest.

“my kpi. soobin. it’s going so well. also, i have to show them i’m a good role model cause many of the juniors join the show team because of me and i feel responsible for that-.”

“and let you do most of the work? that’s not it, you know.” soobin leans his head closer, his thumb pressing on your lip, stopping you from rambling such deflection. you can see your reflection from his wide eyes as if what he cares about at this moment is you and your well-being. he lets his lips kiss yours and his thumb doesn’t hinder the way his lips curve to meet yours even if it’s the corner of your lips.

“i also want my girl to relax.”

his reply melts the hardened substance that is surrounding your heart. if you still want to push to go to that meeting tomorrow, the way he looks at you makes you think otherwise. cause, there’s no fault in having fun, right?

yet, even the word fun seems so foreign to your tongue. even with your outward appearance being the social butterfly people recognize you as—the same people don’t know how you do behind that facade. yet, here is soobin. your intimate friend who seems to want to get closer and closer. well, your status is as friends but with the way he has asked you to hang out with him multiple times this week alone, he’s pushing the boundary of your relationship further and further.

but you remembered the notes you wrote. it is what you want to feel, right?

“ha…” your shoulder slouched before you look down on the thumb on your lip, “fuck it, okay.” you grab his wrist in your palm before fully connecting your lips with his.

-

“come here.”

the sound of pitter-patters from footsteps creates reverberations coming from the bathroom as you walk straight to sit on your mattress.

“close your eyes.”

you let your eyelids cover your sight, protecting it from the afternoon sun that is shining through your window. a 2000s throwback playlist being played as you hear the humming from in front of you following the sung melody. the bed dips right beside you as you feel a cloud of breath against your skin. the pointy pencil eyeliner decorated around your eyelids and down to your waterline, then it was replaced with a brush blending it in with the eyeshadows that also colored the space by your eyes.

“open.”

your eyesight is blurry as you recognize the figure in front of you: karin’s sharp eyes become sharper as she squints whilst tidying up your makeup. the brush caresses near where your eye bags are as you try to flutter the dust out. your lips feel so light because of the amount of lipstick you wore—only one thick layer rather than the whole combination of liners and glosses. you still have the frozen bottle you’re holding by your waist, pressing on the exposed bruised skin from the web-like fabric being lifted with your other hand. the crop top shirt you are wearing rests on your shoulders, creating a sabrina top appearance. the fishnet top peeks from behind the shirt layer along with the straps of your black bra. from the corner of your eyes, you see the star tattoo that soobin inked on your shoulder—not ashamed to cover it up.

“and voilà!” karin exclaimed as she picked up your round vanity mirror, tilting it towards you as you examined the makeup she helped you with. it was simpler than what you usually wear for parties. your thick liquid eye-lined eyes are now a bit more rounded because of the pencil eyeliner that is painted on your lid and your eye line at the bottom. the blush isn’t too thick to let you show your complexion from the textures of your skin to your dark circle. but it’s different for your lips as you wear the darkest shade you can find. karin’s hand pulls the sleeve of your green flannel top a bit more downwards as she shows a bit of herself in the mirror from behind you.

“well?” your smile replicates her signature smirk.

“i love it! thank you, boo.”

“you’re welcome, babes!” she exclaims, her hands pulling the mirror off of your hands and plopping it to the side. your torso being held on the shoulders as you watch karin scanning your outfit. then, she reaches for your collar. a tug from her making a bit of your head and neck move as she adjusts the necklace you’re wearing, letting the gold out so it can shine underneath the ceiling lights.

“look at you being an alt kid. this is gonna be your rockstar look day-in day-out,” she replied as you let out a tight lip smile. though she noticed the way your palm was rubbing against itself. instantly, she stopped it, feeling how sweaty it was.

“are you that nervous?” karin questioned, letting you give out an awkward grin as she pulled you upright and walked you to your full-body mirror. from the reflection, you can see the outfits you assemble for the fashion show on the hanger as karin will help you put them inside the plastic covering.

you let your eyes scan yourself on the first outfit of the fashion show collection you made fully from your hard work. the way karin helped it fit you as best as it could as you see her proud expression from behind your shoulder.

“you look like a total baddie, (y/n). if soobin isn’t more whipped for you than he usually is, then he will be.” you try your best not to laugh but you let a chuckle crack through. the drip from the condensation of the unfrozen bottle trails down your skin and tickles your belly button—it reminds you of the soothing way soobin’s breath touches your skin as he trails down kisses from your mouth to the band of your pants.

“how’d you know sammy’s the one for you?” you focus on her face as she pouted her lips. her pointer finger tapping against the bottom one as she hummed, extending her thought process.

“as shitty as it sounds, i don’t know. i just feel it, you know? but you felt that before with jeno-“ she paused, realizing that she spoke of he-who-shall-not-be-named.

“oof, that hurts,” you replied with a hand against your beating heart, jokingly nipping your bottom lip. but you had a feeling to yourself that that isn’t a joke because of the way your mind travels to something dark.

“apologies for that. like, you don’t know how much i wanted to talk to you about that video between you and jeno that is circulating, but you went mia…”

“wait, what video?” you tilt your head to her. karin’s eyes enlarged, and you recognized that look from anywhere. her eyes quivering as she spoke something you don’t recognize, even if it involves you.

“it’s a video of you and him arguing.”

“who the fuck recorded it and spread it around? the heck?” you exasperated self say as you close your eyes. your head is pulsing as you didn’t consider just how gigantic this is becoming. that’s why—you now understand—that soobin knows you were with jeno the day he invited you to watch a movie together. tears are prickling from the corner of your eyes as you fan it away, trying so badly to not ruin karin’s makeup she had helped with.

“hey, you know that whatever happens, you have me, right? there’s sammy, elle, yizhuo, their partners, and soobin, okay? knowing your boy, he’s gonna punch the heck out of jeno even if he tries playing with you again.” you nod along with her words, agreeing to what she says. but the way this fucking guy berated you reminds you of the last time you were here a decade of sorts ago. someone in your class was always teasing you—fucking kids, right?—and it got out of hand that your hair was once being pulled during recess, making the boy who is approaching you to play during recess furious.

yeonjun.

you remember how he’s trying to pick up the words to describe what happened as the kid who pulled your hair was bleeding out from the elbow, pushed by the boy himself. the teacher asked you for testimonies along with your classmates—who defended you as the kid is known to annoy almost every student. you were just the unlucky victim for that week. yeonjun let out a small smirk he had as he greeted you when he walked out of the counseling room, his open palm pushed forward for you to hold so you could continue to venture to your usual snack time in ms. ahn’s diner.

you miss him and you don’t have any contact with him. you don’t even know if he remembers you or not.

but the more you think of it, you can catch a bit of the yeonjun you know in soobin now. it’s as if soobin is the more mature of the yeonjun you know: soft-looking yet could intimidate, especially when he shows his tattoos. you could see them being friends if they met, but you don’t know if yeonjun would “approve” of you being with him, knowing his ‘good boy’ streak you remember him as and how the last time you met him, yeonjun was obsessed with his video game consoles and not rock music.

“yeah, i know.”

karin pulls the bottle out of your grasp as you let out a small hiss from the warming skin, hurting your bruise yet you recognize it’s helping with it. she pulls the fishnet top down before lightly tugging it into your creme skort. your head moves down as you spot the glint of the golden heart pendant resting on top of the buttons of the green flannel top. on the other side of the room, you heard your default ringtone chiming, signaling that soobin was waiting by the entrance of your hall now.

“don’t forget to pack the outfits up and put them on the rack with the others. and good luck on your study date with sammy. thank you so freaking much, karin.”

you pucker your lips as you air kiss karin’s cheek while she does the same, “and good luck on your date with soobin. let me know what happened cause i wanna know everything!”

you give her a nod when she smirks as you sling your bag and its strap rests right in the valley of your chest. saying another goodbye after tying your boots, you walk down the hallway. you greeted a few of the other residents on this floor who seemed to do a double take on your display that is more alternative, not recognizing you with this appearance. but you embrace it and throw away those expectations as you carefully glance at the bruise beneath the fishnet top, seeing it nearly coming back to the color of the skin in that area from the dark patch you had yesterday and the day before.

stepping out of the hall’s door and down the flight of stairs, you see the figure of the boy you recognized.

his inked arms illuminated by the afternoon sun in his tank, created from a cut-out sweater as he wears his regular cargo pants. soobin perks when he hears you dragging your feet against the pavement, pivoting his head to let you see the black thin line adorning his thick bottom lip right in the middle. your surprise was also met by his, letting his eyes roam on your body to see the fashion show outfit you are doing a trial in. though, you know where his eyes focus on: the gold heart-pendant necklace that hangs around your neck.

“you look…” he commented as you joined him, a smile already threatening to show as you tilt your head.

“‘look’ what? ugly?”

“not a chance!” he exclaimed, making the seal of your lips open as you let out the widest smile you haven’t entirely done for a while.

“i know what you meant, bun~” you nudge your shoulder towards him as he bit his cheek, his dimple showing up every time he puckered his lips. “you too, actually. now i kinda wanna see you with a real lip piercing.”

your hand reaches to his face as you let your thumb caress the fake piercing down to the surface of his lip, making the clip behind a little more snuggled up as soobin can’t help but pucker his lips to kiss your fingertip. you pull back before you continue staring at him, looking towards the nearest gate to the street outside of the campus.

“what are we waiting for?”

and as you said that, his hand grasped yours and dragged you towards the path you were implying. you let the breeze blow against your skin as soobin’s larger stride makes you try to keep up with his pace by jogging beside him before you take a breather at the bus—that arrived at the right time as you step towards the bus stop. finding no one on the bus other than the driver, you take a seat and look at the mundane beauties of daytime haeyang—something you haven’t focused on. your head rested against soobin’s shoulder as his hand wrapped around your lower back as you continued gazing at the way the ball of fire shone on every man-made structure you passed by or the sonder you got as you watched people living their lives.

but then, the bus goes into the main forest road as it climbs on the hills. the green chlorophyll leaves change the scenery in an instant, almost like someone turning the color spectrum dials to make it work. the bus hums as you can hear rumbling vehicles walking past, most notably an old sedan driving past as you see their windows all down and hands coming out to graze against the gusty kinetic wind. the car scurries away before going to the right as the clicking sound of the bus’ signal lights turns on for the next stop.

“we’re here. but we still have to walk,” soobin said as he pulled you up. you nodded your head as you both walked towards the exit, letting out a small thank you to the driver before the bus drove away. following the boy, you both walk at a steady pace as you hear the sound of the birds chirping and the breeze going past the leaves in the middle of the forest. behind nature’s call, you can pick up the muted bass ringing from behind the trees as more vehicles drive past you.

you jumped when you sensed another limb covering your mid-riff, soobin’s arm wrapping around your waist as he tugged you next to his side. you watch him eyeing down on the waist, where your bruise is at, as he doesn’t want to tug it with too much force. steadying yourself, you mimic him as you wrap your arm behind soobin’s back, continuing to walk in peace when you can see the forking road getting closer. the same road that the sedan took a turn to the right.

you thought the road to the right led you to another smaller pathway toward the venue, but you were met with a large dirt parking lot. dust and dirt lifting from the moving vehicles as they’re finding a space to park. people wearing clothes similar to yours gather towards the building at the farthest side from the road you had to go through to reach here. as you step closer and inspect the building, it looks to be an abandoned convenience store just based on the storefront appearance where wood boards stick to where the windows are. the goers line up in a queue as you inhale the familiar scents that you’ve smelled in the parties you usually go to. yet, even with their menacing appearance, they seem to be so cordial, unlike the people you met at said parties. it’s like there is an unspoken rule between them to have fun while staying safe.

as you both walk closer to the line, you can’t help but take out your vape as you try to blend in. soobin’s chuckle rings from beside you as he pulls out a box of cigarettes instead, something he hasn’t pulled out near you. you scramble to get the lighter out of his hand as he tugs one stick out. flicking the wheel, the spark lights up as soobin lets the end of the cig engulf in fire, seeing your hardened fingertip from the amount of pins and needles prickling it crack from the friction. tucking the lighter back into the pocket he pulled the box out, you view the environment you’re in as you check out the people stepping out of the building who are already looking so intoxicated and with sweat sticking into their bodies from the shine of the sun. the evidence of what they’re doing inside: moving their hearts out, letting out all the stresses in life. it appears to be so cathartic and you can’t wait to get the same feeling inside.

soobin’s fame seems to shine brighter in his scene as you count how many people are greeting him. you can hear them talking about the tattoos they want to make with him as he replied with his charisma level reaching the maximum or even more. the way your cheeks are heating as they greet you with him makes you tug yourself closer to him, hiding half of your face behind his arm as you let your fingertips caress his tattooed poppy flower. the queue continues to move as you both step towards the bouncer standing at the front. the bouncer seems to recognize soobin as when you two walk to the front, you see him glancing between the two of you before giving a bro hug to soobin where he whispers a few words to him before giving a wink towards both of you. your eyebrows are lifted as the boy guides you to enter the concrete building that is crumbling in a few parts, seeing the people around drinking in a cup from a bar on one side of the room while a crowd gathers and cheers in front of the stage where a band has finished playing.

“we’re amperhyphen! thank you so much for having us and have a good day.” a group of boys bowed down before walking off the stage with their instruments unplugged as the stage crews climbed up and cleaned the stage. soobin said that it was a gig concert so new artists will perform following the schedule. it’s clear with the amount of people moving on the floor as they come and go.

he flicks the stick’s ash as it falls into the space on the floor. his hand tugging you closer as you lead the way to the very back of the mosh pit. looking upon the ocean of heads, the stage is dimly lit from the spotlight hanging above—letting you see the second story of the store that seemed more like a supermarket now with its larger build. the crowd seems to disperse as people wait for the next act; a never-ending loop of fun in the subterranean scene.

“what do you want to drink?” soobin said right to your ear.

“something cold, please. i’m getting kinda parched,” you replied, still inhaling from your e-cigarette as he guided you toward the bar. the dispersing crowd hangs out by the bar as they get a refill for another round of musical chaos, making the bartenders work extra hard as they pour around the drinks in. soobin spoke of what you two will get to one of bartenders as you let yourself gaze at the environment you’re in. though haeyang is a town you believed you know much—because you spent the first decade of your life here—you learn nothing about this, about the small yet powerful gathering spot where people can hang out just to enjoy music. mosh pits in small towns are rare enough, yet you don’t realize there is one as crowded as this here. much of the people you silently watch are people you don’t know, but they look to be around your age and older. there is even a sapphic couple who seemed to be the same age as your dad still hanging out here.

it’s like this place is where anyone can be anything they want; let go of the stress and expectation of life just by hearing a piece of music you can enjoy even if you don’t know it. no expectation of fame and social recognition.

your vision is stuck on one goer getting their bruise tended by a punk with a studded leather jacket. there is a gash around their calves as the punk’s appearance doesn’t scream ‘they could heal people.’ but a smile on your face has grown from it as the goer genuinely talks with the punk with no type of discrimination that you’re familiar with. a nudge felt on your shoulder as you turn to find soobin with a glass in his hand, pushing forward for you to pick it up. you peer down to see it’s your favorite cocktail as soobin tells you he has paid for it already, settling down beside you as you face the spacious room where more people are walking around.

“what kind of band perform here?”

“mostly indie alt-rock bands, so any alternative and derivative genres from rock like grunge, punk, metal, garage, emo, all that stuff. many of the songs being performed here are usually self-made or covers. but there upstairs,” soobin points towards the balcony area you saw, “many of the talent managers sit there to gaze at the crowd. haeyang is a small town but its underground scene is vibrant. it’s kinda like back in the 90s when you watch bands perform as they’re trying to catch lightning in a bottle for their musical career,” the boy replied as you both sipped on the cold and sweet alcoholic beverages. the way it calms you down but also makes you warm because of the substances in it.

“you seem so well-versed in this topic.” you winked, internalizing another side of soobin you’ve just known now. his eyebrows raised before he let out a small smile. “if you like rock music so much, can you play instruments too?”

“to be honest. i can’t.”

nodding, you continued to sip as you picked up the crowd cheering for the next act going up—silhouettes walking on the stage even from the dim spotlights, “which instruments do you think you’ll be good at if you play one?”

instead of answering, he turns to you, “which one do you think i’ll be the best at?”

letting you let out a chuckle as the spotlights earn their clarity once again. you see a four-person band coming up to the stage as they plug their instruments into the machines such as speakers and pedals.

“not gonna lie, you’ll be good at drums. you’ve always been slapping your thighs whenever we listen to music together and you did say you like genesis‘ drummer,” you remembered so when you saw and heard him in the listening booth yesterday. but the significant moment that came to your mind is when you and he are trying to finish your tasks together as the deadline is at midnight; soobin’s playlist plays in his room as you are covered only with his shirt, sitting on the floor so you can let your aching thighs straighten out. the boy sat beside you only with his sweatpants, tapping his palm on his thighs with the heels of his feet alternating following the rhythm—trying to get an inspiration on what words he’ll write next. the tapping and clapping mixed along with his humming as he follows with the melody of the song playing, easily adapting to the songs even with key changes.

“or you could be a vocalist too. your voice is so nice to listen to.” you continued, finishing your drink with you, tilting your head back. putting the glass on the bar counter as you caught the frontwoman introducing the band. turning your head, soobin follows as he does the same thing—letting you lead the way to the space behind the crowd gathering as he trails the path you took.

you stood behind at a respectable distance from the mosh pit. the sounds of clapping and cheering suggest, to you, that the band has been gathering enjoyers and crowds alike who listen to their creation and how they might’ve perform in different gigs all throughout the towns here and near haeyang. soobin’s presence is now so recognizable to you as he stands beside you, eyeing the stage as you hear the familiar flicking sound once again; the faint light beside you catching your attention before it sizzles out. the crowd gets more excited once the band is tuning their instruments. people accidentally nudged you as they move to the front—their apology etiquette still surprises you as you’ve been hit harder than that during college parties yet no one didn’t even acknowledge it. your hand grips onto soobin’s nude forearm as the speaker rings, the faint sound of crackling noise heard as the bass drum plays and echoes through the space.

when the guitarist strums the strings, you watch as people’s head moves following the rhythm as the cheers become louder and louder. even you can’t stop yourself from nodding your head. the hand that is gripping onto soobin’s makes him notice you bopping to the fast beats. the crashes from the cymbals pierce through the sound as your muscles contort, following the band’s playing. you glance towards soobin, who is nodding his head alongside you, his other hand holding onto another stick of cig as the familiar scent hits your senses.

“if you enjoy rolled-up cigarettes, then why do you smoke e-cigs with me?” you asked, a little loudly as near to his ear as possible. his furrowed eyebrows straighten as he thinks of the answer.

“people don’t like the smell of it. that’s why i pick fruit scent e-cigs when we hang around your crowd.”

“and what is this flavor?”

soobin looks at the burning stick between his fingers. your body is already facing him as you let your hand swing the arm you’re holding along with the beat. leaning to your ear, he whispered, “nothing.”

“that’s straight tobacco?” your baffled expression made him grin as he nodded along. you playfully hit his chest as he lets go of your hand before wrapping the arm behind you. goosebumps showing on your skin alongside the chilly breeze from the space when his arm meets your fishnet-covered lower back.

“you wanna try?” his voice is getting muffled by the band as they now play their second song—the guitar and drums blaring expands with the speakers. you nod your head as you rub your palm clean on your skort, ready to grip onto the thin cylinder as soobin takes his own puff first.

yet, with your hand already in front of you to let the stick slip between your fore and middle fingers, the hand that holds your back trails up your spine instead and is behind your head. he pushes you closer as he gives you the familiar knowing look, tilting your head to the side to let him do his usual thing: letting his lips meet yours. instead, he brought his lips right in front of yours and unconnected. the hot cloud flows inside your mouth cavern as you taste the familiar mild flavor you get from your vape now being accentuated. gone were the fruity flavor that is familiar to you as you let your mouth agape, clearing the smoke out between you two before your hand reaches to cup his cheek, closing in on his lips as you nibble on his bottom lip.

with the sound of the band playing and the colorful spotlights illuminating the dark space, you can see the fireworks exploding behind your eyelids, following the way your heart explodes with all of them harmonizing in tandem to culminate into your thoughts and emotions. your eyebrows crease as you try to focus only on his lips, only on soobin, as everything around fades away. the way both of your lips fall into the familiar routine excites you with the unknown elements you only recognize by now. your hand holding onto his posture to steady both of you, both of his forearms now wrapped behind you as he only let one palm rest behind you—the other still holding onto the cigarette that is burning fast. tears forming from the ducts from how long you’ve closed your eyes, the feeling you have been harboring about him all flowing out with that one small action.

from the past week—since you both had sex in your room—you can sense the chemistry between the two of you changing in real time. every time you both make out when you hang out outside of both of your rooms and parties you two attend, it feels a lot more personal. from when he laid you down on the booth seat at the diner and to when you sat down on his lap in the listening booth of the music store. all the emotions and thoughts shared between you both have culminated and exploded with this as you let the feelings seep through the cracks that is your barriers before they fall way into the likeliest place: into him. the words you’ve written about him in your notes are scribed on repeat in your head as one sentence rings true.

‘do i truly like him?‘‘ yet, even that is an understatement.

do you truly love him?

with your swollen lips, you both pull back to take in the stuffy, narcotic scent that’s combined with the fresh air of the forest flowing inside. his lips glisten under the radiance from the spotlights—a string of saliva connecting both of you as soobin throws the cigarette that has been burning so much to the ground beside you both. he signals with his head towards you, letting your shoes step onto it to let the fire out. breathless and speechless. that’s what you both are as you gaze at each other’s eyes, letting you read what he says as you are exuding one of your own on the same wavelength.

“i-“

“well, well, well…” a voice calls out, making you sense the trail of sweat on your nape falling down to your spine. the calm, peaceful glass box you and him were standing within now broken into smithereens. a voice you’ve been dreading to hear from the last time you met her: the day you get your still healing bruise.

you turn your head and peek at the voice’s owner, seeing the smirk you’ve been trying to forget for the past week.

“herin…”

“hello, (y/n). and who i can guess is soobin?” her voice pitches up as your eyes tremble, the combination of doses of alcohol and nicotine making you jitter as the blooming bruise on your waist lingers on as the pain comes back once again, reminding you of how it happened.

“what, what are you doing here?” you nip your bottom lip.

this is not a place where you see herin to be. in your eyes, herin is just another student of the fashion major, hair-dyed platinum blonde that compliments her skin tone as she shows up in a crop tank top. you met her back in orientation days, even being in the same group to do the tasks and getting to know the campus life. but as more time passes, the collaborative dynamic you once had with her turns into tension as you both join the fashion show crew and how she also joined the fashion student committee that you failed to get into—how you realized she treated you not like how she treats the others. you sure were hoping you find a friend in her, but fate tells you otherwise before you fall into the circle that is karin, elle, yizhuo, and the others; including soobin. yet, her smile makes your body tense and she replies.

“what are you doing here? aren’t you supposed to join the meeting today?” her smirk widened as dimples showed on her cheeks. you knew that when you spoke to soobin yesterday, but as you read the group chat often even with how you have turned on real-time notifications, you know that the show people aren’t needed but it’s better if join in. you just didn’t expect to find her here. it’s like she pushed herself to make you remember what you “owe” her—like how she’s been chasing you in the chat. but ever since you muted her, she becomes frontal: resulting in your aching body now.

“what meeting? i was supposed to be there? is, isn’t today for marketing and tenants?” you asked back, hearing how your voice trembled right at the end as you could hear the scoff coming from the girl.

“well, now you are because the agenda of the meeting today is about you.”

what? you want to speak out. yet the way your facial expression form encapsulates it perfectly—earning a giggle from herin.

“i don’t know if you are naïve or ignorant. but, your creamy face is all over social media and group chats.” the way her eyes look at you reminds you of that day as you stared up at her, holding onto your side as you felt the pain surge from your lower half when the force hits back at you too much at your waist. “i didn’t know you were that desperate, (l/n). but now we see the ‘reason’ why you are the fashion major’s golden girl-“

you listen to the sound of soobin’s hand rummaging in the pocket of his pants as he pulls out his phone, the screen illuminating his face as you watch the numerous notifications showing up from the reflection on his pupils, which he opens. your palms start to sweat as you can’t bear to open your own phone, knowing that the way soobin’s jaws tighten up makes you assume your phone may be exploding with notifications now if you don’t put it in do not disturb mode.

“well, now your boy also knows who you are, (y/n).” herin’s voice is the only coherent sound that comes to your hearing. you can’t handle it anymore and wrap your palm around soobin’s wrist for a chase of comfort. but he pulls away fast.

his face is full of hurt with the frown coming from his plushy lips. your eyes peek at the screen that is fading black, seeing the recognizable picture you still remember taking a long time back then. back when you were with your ex.

“is this true?” soobin said as he let you see his screen and you could sense your blood vessels exploding as the imaginary knife that was already plunged into your back pushed deeper behind you.

the subject in the picture is you—only your upper half is shown, yet you recall you are naked in that frame—white liquid all over your face as there is a caption of “teachers’ slut” on it. eyes watering, you can’t help but gasp for air as you remember the past few days that had happened. heck, the past few months that happened. the notable conversation you had with jeno, and the way he threatened you as you refused to go with his choice. you remembered what he said faintly—memories of it erased from your mind when you and soobin went out all night long that day.

“you’re gonna regret not coming back to me (y/n).”

“no- no! no, it’s not, soobin. please…” you reach your hand towards him, but you flinch as he pulls the phone back against his chest. you catch his eyes moving all around the place as he looks between the phone and you.

“well, it’s true though, (y/n).”

your actions stop as you catch a familiar voice from behind you, the shuffling of feet heard as the person you’re dreading to see now stands by you, beside the girl with a terrifying smirk on her face.

“teacher’s pet and golden girl, huh? more like teachers’ slut.” jeno spoke as he let out a chuckle, “and the fact that it’s plural stuns me, (y/n). you like yourself a gangbang action?”

“jeno, please. i know it’s you.” you try to retaliate, yet the crack in your voice doesn’t exactly show your courage and confidence when you look away from his gaze, noticing more and more gazes on you. some of the people in the crowd at the back turn towards you as they hold the phone in their palms, eyes looking between it and you like what soobin did. your breath picks up as you can only resort to soobin, turning your head to him as you pick up the faint whispers of the crowd as they peer at you; dissecting you like you’re an anomaly in their society. so suddenly, you want to cover up every exposed skin of the outfit you now use, grabbing any outer you can get—even stealing it if it’s the last resort—and get out of there as fast as you can.

“what do you mean it’s me, huh? gaslighting much, (y/n)?!” jeno replied as your jaw slackened and you couldn’t find the right words. that’s when you see the darker shadow on herin’s tank top and near her blue jeans, wrapping around her as she is tugged closer to the shadow’s owner, just like what you and soobin did most of today. chasing its movement, you realize that the shadow is from a leather jacket: jeno’s leather jacket.

as the epiphany hits you like a tsunami, the tear ducts that moist your eyes when you and soobin kiss produce many more tears as it pours out much of what you’re feeling. turning to soobin once again, you can read how conflicted his face has become as the tears pour more and more.

“believe me, bun. please, i’m not- i didn’t-“ you sob, your chest heaving as you put your palm against the middle of your chest, trying to breathe. yet the more you stay in the venue, the more stuffy it becomes.

“it’s always been you and it’ll always be you. i promise, soobin. please believe me.” you nodded your head to tell him you were telling the truth. that you don’t know shit about any of this. that you haven’t slept with anyone other than soobin himself. that the picture doesn’t tell the entire truth. yet, you know you’re losing the mind games now. and the green light of the exit becomes the beacon as you mumble a last “i’m sorry for hurting you so much, soobin,” before you run towards the exit, pushing people away as you can only think about coming back to your room, but you recognize it won’t be as safe because the walls are so thin that things like this spread fast.

soobin’s loud voice as he shouts your name fades into obscurity as he sees you blending in with the light, both herin and jeno are laughing as the crowd now gathers around the three of them. the conflicted feelings he’s experiencing now all aside as his only aim is to rid that laugh out of both of their faces.

his hand forms into a fist as he punches jeno across his cheek, earning a shriek from the girl beside him as the crowd exclaims. soobin recognized a few of them in the crowd but he didn’t care as he took another shot at hitting your ex, now at the stomach as the boy fell back. jeno’s thicker structure approaches soobin as he takes a punch to his abdomen, filling it with the bruise that’s gonna come as he can feel the contact of the rings jeno wears. but, soobin doesn’t want to stop. all he sees is red and your teary face as you look at the two beings of a joke that he now knows has been giving your life hell.

“soobin! fucking stop!” soobin recognized the voice of the bouncer he greeted every time he goes inside, looking down at jeno who has a cut on his cheekbone, whilst the boy take a punch to the face—feeling the bleeding starting from the part of his bottom lip where his fake lip piercing at and also another bleeding cut on the bridge of his nose. his body is being pulled back by the bouncer as another security staff handles jeno who is still charging at him. both of them are trying to finish each other off even with their battered and bruised bodies.

“I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU.” soobin’s growl sounds so unnatural to him that he even got scared of himself while jeno replied with his own set of profanities that he just can’t take seriously.

“I CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE IN A SNAP, CHOI SOOBIN.” the boy’s sentence is now muffled by the crowd that is still listening to music as the bouncer drags him away to the exit of the venue. soobin’s body gave up as he followed the bouncer out to greet the piercing daylight, hurting his eyes as he tried to adjust quickly. his breathing is ragged as the bouncer’s gaze at him is filled with such a disappointing expression. yet, he can’t stop the way the tears are falling down his cheeks and combining with the spilling of his own blood.

“the girl- the girl i was with. where did she go?” soobin asked the bouncer, his eyes moving around anywhere near the building and the parking lot. maybe you’re just taking a fresh air and sitting near the trees on the edge of the forest, waiting for him to come out so he can comfort you after he processed some things he understands out of all the nuances he caught onto in such a short time.

“she left, running. turning left to the downtown area,” the bouncer said as he let go of soobin, who was trying to steady himself as he picked up the phone and speed dialed your number. yet, all he could hear was your familiar caller tune playing as he let the beeps play until the operator told him he couldn’t reach you. soobin’s hand brushed against his wounded face and messy hair, not caring about his appearance and how the red color now spread across his facial skin

because all he can think about now is you.

-

“(y/n)-“

“the number you’re calling is not available-“

“for fuck’s sake!” soobin wiped his hand across his sweaty face, throwing the phone to his bed as he sat against it on the floor. he felt the drying scab from the bruise that he got for fighting jeno. trying to call you since yesterday, yet you aren’t available all the time. he had gone to your room yet you didn’t answer—resting in front of your room until he perceived his wounds drying up by themselves, hoping you would come back; yet you didn’t. he tried reaching out to your friends, and they all gave the same answer: they don’t know where you are.

so as the night blankets this side of the world and ends another day, he goes back to his room and clean himself up; patching his self as he looks at the mirror of the bruises blooming on his face. his phone is always near him, hoping that someone—anyone—can tell you of your whereabouts. that’s when han reached out to him, calling him to tell him what he had found as soobin told him what happened.

“i tried tracing back the photo that got spread. come back from a burner phone number from haeyang. like the numbers that our plug usually uses. you know what’s interesting about the number?“ the statement comes so quickly, yet he knows this guy. han is one of the most meticulous guys he knows and full of patience—he is the guy that tattooed the large saturn on his arm after all. he is also very tech-savvy and always knows if things are scams or not. the guy was the one that told him of your photo with jeno; he knows just how significant you are to him from both of their talks in the break room of their tattoo parlor.

“yeah, gimme.“ soobin replied, pulling the cotton off the area where he puts the antiseptic to clean the dried wound. the sound of the call echoed in his bathroom walls as the dark creeps into his room, awaiting its time to start the new day at 00.00.

“it’s connected to an email by the name of herin.”

though he tried to get away from you as he saw your photo in that compromising position, hearing his friend’s revelation makes him recall what you said, recalled your expression towards the two who seem to terrorize you. the way you try to cover your waist even if it’s dark in the room. the way you tried to fight back, yet the nerves come for you. he realizes you’re telling a part of the truth, but not the whole truth. if they bother you so much, why don’t you tell him or any of your friends?

it reminds him of when he was with yeonjun back in middle school. when he first moved in and don’t know shit about anyone in the middle school—still not close enough to the guy who he called his best friend—he was being made fun of for looking geeky. the only thing he had in his hand was his sketchbook he uses to cope with the trauma even if it’s already been a couple of years since his parents died, pages upon pages of his dark-themed illustrations are the only thing he could relate to. yeonjun was the epitome of the middle finger when soobin told him about what he faced and his idea for revenge comes from pranking the boys that made fun of him. he can imagine you and yeonjun at age 7 or 8 doing the same thing, especially since—based on yeonjun’s testimony—you are close by the hip and hang out all the time.

but the more he realizes, this version of you doesn’t have any eagerness to reconnect with yeonjun, unlike the (y/n) that visited him. and he understands that it’s because of the trauma you both might and might not have. the way original timeline (y/n) told him about how she came to this timeline means that she knows firsthand yeonjun’s reaction to his mother’s death. and that traumatic experience bonded them as even when she went back to haeyang, she had hope that she’ll meet yeonjun again. yet, for you, yeonjun is just a friend that got away. he had a few childhood friends whom he remembered the face but not the name and that is just what you and yeonjun in this timeline are doing. but when (y/n) visited his home nearly a week ago and with what she talked about him with soobin, she knew the only right thing was to go back to be with her yeonjun—well, his yeonjun too.

his ever-changing existential thoughts are being struck down by meteorites to go to earth, sonder coming to him so hard he realizes now that even if he misses home back in his original timeline, he might have a foundation of a new one with you. the way you both make out in the dark feels so deep more than he had ever felt. it’s as if you wanna tell him something, reaching out to him more and more with the way you both hung out with each other so much. and now he knows this is a test. does he trust you and does he trust himself?

soobin changes his clothes into a basic white tank top and navy shirt as an outer combo with jeans before tucking his shoes and going out into the sunset. he had realized he missed the only class that day cause he was trying to reach out to you so much as he wallowed in the thoughts of everything that was happening for the past week. the blowing breeze from the ocean already reaching him as he walks towards the off-campus area. his eyes continue looking at the crack on the pavement, yet their position is lifted now because he is always looking towards you, to check if you are okay as he guides you or you guide him. he glides towards the street full of people his age, full of franchised-brands of stores having their signs light up as it makes the dusk brighter—in a way that he couldn’t see the moon and the stars as clearly as he was in the old neighborhood you and he were days ago.

when the other kids seem to go to fast-food restaurants or neon-lighted nightclubs, his head only has one place in his mind: the diner you and he went to that night. the knowledge of the neighborhoods is printed from the many years he had lived here as he can track the layout of the sidewalk he has to take. when he arrives at the diner, he can identify a few pickup trucks parked as the warm light exudes out of the windows to lighten the dark sky. the bell chimes as the door opens and he can see truckers sitting separately as an old lady tends to the counter, the sound of sizzling enters his ear as she turns around, a smile on her face.

“what can i help you with, boy?” she asked, remembering that she wasn’t there last time. recalling what you spoke to miya when she was tending to the counter, he now knows that he’s talking to the infamous miss ahn that you and yeonjun had talked about.

“i’ll take a club sandwich and some coke, please?” he replied sitting on the seat that overlooks behind the counter.

“sure thing!” the woman replied as soobin let out a sigh, setting down his phone on the counter with the screen facing up, hoping that another piece of information would come to him once again. the sound of dionne warwick‘s ‘walk on by‘ playing from the jukebox transports him into a different time, like when he was here with you. he didn’t feel time running at all that time when you both were here sitting in the booth that he’s taking a peek at behind his shoulder. just conversing about some ridiculous teammate shenanigans you got from one of your group projects as he relayed with his own, and also the discussion you both had about the other movies like fallen angels you both had watched. surely, a friday night should make the diner packed, but then he got reminded of the gentrification of haeyang that was taking place and how, business-wise, the diner was losing the race with other businesses.

when the plate of food and glass filled with coke is set in front of him, he plays along with his food as he thinks about his position in this world. how the alien imagery since then has been sticking by him, but he couldn’t help but remember your comments about it. about how you are a loser and an alien too and it gave him a sense of overwhelming comfort, even if he doesn’t agree with what you are saying. however, with everything that happened yesterday, he can’t help but push himself to see in your position, seeing what you’re facing in reality and if it’s accurate to what he thought. another level of alienation in the worst way possible when it’s not even your fault.

he was chewing his food when he heard the chime from the bell that disrupted his line of thought. soobin wanted to get back into his mind and he wanted to tune out the world once again when he listened to the new customer beside him ordering.

“good evening, miss ahn! can i get two strawberry donuts to go, please?”

“right away, young man- oh my!” soobin sees miss ahn turning around as she sees the person who orders right beside him. he can’t help but peek from the corner of his eyes where he sees a boy with dark cyan hair that seems to fade away, thick-framed glasses on his face as he tugs the knitted sweater he’s wearing.

“yeonjun! so glad to be seeing you here!”

yeonjun?

soobin pivots his head in a whiplash as he sees the boy sitting on the stool beside him. his side profile is so identifiable as he remembered the last time he saw him, he was still with pink hair—which he realized that this yeonjun probably never had. soobin’s eyes sting as his mind plays the notable memories he had with the boy beside him, how he remembered running into the night as they sneaked out of their houses to hang out with each other. the way the boy laughs along with him as they headbang to the punk songs played by the bands. how his face grimaced as soobin tattooed the angel wing on his back. yet he realizes that this yeonjun doesn’t have the same memories as he does. this yeonjun is different. there is no connecting line between him and the boy but-

“i think i’ve seen you before?” soobin’s head lifted as he didn’t realize he was just staring at the space on the counter between him and the boy. he followed where the sound came from to see yeonjun, who had his front side turned to face him. the familiar grin on his face as his nose scrunches make his heart beat faster.

“you’re the boy that’s with (y/n), right? soobin?” yeonjun continued.

“i, well, how’d you know?” he asked, his voice coming out so soft as he tried his best to calm his feelings—scared that he might burst out with the tears.

“you’re everywhere on (y/n)’s account- i mean- i’ve caught a photo of you both on my dashboard before.” he replied as he pushed his hand out, the other hand pushing his glasses up his nose bridge as he spoke, “i’m yeonjun.”

soobin’s hand reacts so impulsively as he grasps the hand of the boy that he should also call his best friend. at first, he thought his hand was going to go past the boy’s—he didn’t think it was real corporeal form—but when both of their palms touched each other, he could sense the electric spark from it; but with yeonjun’s graceful smile continuing, soobin understands that he doesn’t feel it at all.

“i’ve heard about you before from (y/n).” soobin replied, doing three handshakes before both of them let go as he continued eating the food that was getting colder.

“re- really? what did she talk about me?” the boy leans his head against the upright arm on the counter; something he has seen yeonjun do whilst they converse on their school desks.

“that you both were best friends before she moved away. that this diner was you two’s hangout place. and much more, honestly.”

yeonjun nods his head, a tight-lip smile on his face. “that’s good. i actually tried to reach out to (y/n) through social media before i went back here. i promised her when she came to visit me that we meet up, but it seems so inadequate of me to reach out. i mean-“ he shrugs, “she’s on a different level than me.”

your visit? yeonjun must have thought that the (y/n) that visited him was you, but soobin knew otherwise that the (y/n) that visited him was the (y/n) from the original timeline. yet, soobin couldn’t bear to tell him the truth because he also didn’t know how to do it without blowing yeonjun’s mind away. the way (y/n) told soobin how the original timeline yeonjun knows about her chronokinesis has already created a collateral impact on him. he knew this yeonjun was smart—from the way (y/n) described him at the beach of the numerous trophies and medals—but telling the guy that his concept of space and time is wrong when a person from an alternate universe can travel back and forth with a power to control time can alter him significantly.

“oh yeah, where’s (y/n) anyway? are you here to meet her or- oh…” soobin glanced at the way yeonjun’s gleam faded as he spoke, reminding him of the way original timeline (y/n)’s way of talking, “i’m sorry. i just remembered that i saw the photo.”

“don’t say sorry to me. i’m just collateral damage. i’ve been trying to reach out for (y/n) this whole day and it’s been unsuccessful.”

yeonjun hums as he turns his body to the front of the counter, tapping his fingertips against the top of it as soobin continues eating with a slouched shoulder. “you seem to care for her.”

the boy notices soobin peeking at him when he slants his head. soobin learned he couldn’t lie to him more, even the yeonjun he remembered knew how to read body language so well, “more than care actually.”

yeonjun nods his head as he sees miss ahn who is packing the donuts into the brown bag, “even if we are separated for a decade, (y/n)’s not that kind of girl.” soobin turns his head to face the boy who is playing with the ends of his sweater’s sleeves.

“she’s one of the most hard-working people i’ve ever known, always attempting to achieve everything she wants to achieve and she doesn't play dirty cause that was my role in our youth.” he chuckles to himself. soobin can’t help but smile when he hears it.

“she’s not one who plays dirty unless it’s necessary for her survival. she once had to face one guy from my class in a game of dodgeball in our shared gym class. i told her that the guy was messing with me like sending me notes and stuff. and she was capable enough to catch the ball and play mind tricks with him to get a win.” yeonjun brushes his hair as soobin now sees how the guy doesn’t even have ear piercings.

“even when she visited me at my home, she was such a good sport even though we ended it awkwardly. but she made an effort to visit me even if none of us reached out in the first place.” soobin remembered what (y/n) said about how she embarrassed herself. but the way he spoke of you about the dodgeball story just based on the timeline of young you and yeonjun, he can assess it happened in both timelines. and when he spoke of (y/n) that visited him, he can detect the parallel of it with you. even if you both aren’t the same attitude-wise, he could conclude that how this is who (y/n) is universally, the same as with yeonjun with his cheekiness even though this one has a bit of timidness to it.

the brown bag is placed in front of yeonjun as he pays to miss ahn, waiting for the change as he swerves the stool back towards soobin, “i don’t know when i will get the courage back to meet her again. but i’m glad that i encounter you, soobin. i have to go back to my college town and-“

miss ahn gave the change back as she stepped away to serve another customer who just come in. soobin gazed at yeonjun who stood up and took a step to stand in front of him. the boy stared at the blue-haired’s features as he felt a pat on one of his shoulders.

“take care of (y/n) for me, okay? you’re very capable of doing so. and send my regards to her as well.”

with two last pats, yeonjun takes off towards the entrance. miss ahn’s farewell rings into his ear as he eyes the boy, who faces away and leaves him. a few drops of tears fall down his cheek as he lets his hand caress the shoulder that yeonjun pats, seeing his former best friend leave as catharsis hits him. the sense of sadness and satisfaction runs throughout his blood vessels as he finally gets a proper farewell to his friend.

soobin turns around on his stool with a new sense of determination, eating up the sandwich as he has now caught a new anchor to tie him down forming in his mind: in the shape of you.

he still eyes the phone’s screen, the hope that you will call him remains. but then, he heard another rushing footsteps enter the diner as he saw miya coming into the room from the back kitchen. her facial muscles are so contorted but thaw as she sees soobin. “oh thank fucking goodness.”

“miya, is my shift up?” miss ahn asked before she walked to the front of soobin.

“no, not yet, auntie.” she told her before angling her head towards soobin and stepping towards him, rapidly saying, “i tried to reach you but (y/n)’s phone was locked and she doesn’t have anyone on speed dial. so, i tried my best to get to you but i don’t know which hall you live in. so i tried walking to one, but you were not there. i’m fucking glad i found you now.”

“miya, slow down, please? what’s wrong?” she leans back and takes a huge needed breath.

“it’s (y/n). she stayed with me since yesterday. she went on a rambling spree about what’s happening to her and i’ve calmed her down as best as i can. she was okay last night and i wanted to bring her back but she said that she didn’t want to.” miya wiped the sweat that had trickled down her forehead. “so i let her stay at my place and i went to work at the art shop this morning. after closing down and going back to prep for my shift here, i realized she was drinking my wine bottle. i’ve forgiven her for it, but all she wanted was to speak to you.” miya finished explaining as soobin didn’t realize he was holding his breath.

“she’s dozing off before i left and i already got rid of any alcohol near her. but it’s best if you come with me cause she still can wake up.” miya’s eyes landed on soobin with a scrutinizing look before they faded away as she catches a glimpse of her aunt looking at the nearly finished plate in front of him.

“i can pack up your meal so you can get to her, poor (y/n).” miss ahn said as she picked up the plate that soobin had. he hurriedly pulled out his card to pay for the meal as miya helped with it. soobin’s eyes were looking down at the counter, his lips turn into a frown as the worries are coming back to him. when he looks up, miss ahn gives him a larger bag with the container of his food and beverage before she turns around and gives him a familiar brown bag he saw minutes ago.

“oh no no. you don’t have to.” soobin tries to stop it yet miss ahn persists.

“the strawberry donuts are on the house. i hope this could help (y/n).”

“i... thank you so much.” soobin answered as he bowed his head, picking the bags in his hand as he followed miya who was already jogging in front of him. she must’ve been tired of walking around the neighborhoods trying to reach him from the brief episode from today she had told him, but her tiredness doesn’t show as she races back to her place.

as he came across a street with four-story-tall apartments, he followed miya who stepped inside the hallways, trailing along the floor as it resembled his and yours residential halls. she makes him stop at the door in front of both of you.

“i’m going to leave you here because of my shift.” she then taps the code into the keypad, “you can go back if you want to after you’re done. her clothes and bag are inside a tote bag at the coffee table.”

“okay, thank you so much for helping (y/n).”

“no problem.” miya stepped away instantly after she pushed the door open, leaving soobin to face a dim apartment.

as soobin stepped inside, he was met with a dark hallway leading to a kitchen with a small night light on. the living room was dim also, but he could hear the sound of sobbing near the curtains towards the balcony. there, beneath the moonlight that is seeping in, is you sitting with your back against the wall. your head folding forward so your forehead rests on top of the folded knees, tucking yourself into a self-hug.

“hey…”

your head instantly lifted because of his one word, as he can see your eyes widen.

“soob-soobin…” you let out in your hoarse voice, trying to stand up before you tumble and nearly fall as your hand holds the wall. he walks towards you to hold you up as your eyebrows furrowed. your palm gripping his upper arms as he relaxes the muscles between your eyebrows, straightening them as you look towards him.

“it is you…” the way the corner of your eyes droops down as you sniffle away your sobbing makes him cup your face in both of his hands. soobin remembered how he sketched your eyes, full of wonder and curiosity, just like what he always sees with you. but now, he could see the many details he hadn’t gotten before, but one was extremely evident: the cracks on your irises as you stared back at him.

“it’s me. hey-“

you wrap your arms around him as you tug yourself so close to him, not wanting to let go. he can feel every surface of your front touching his as he adjusts his arms around you too. one holding onto your head and the other around your nap as he caught a glimpse of light on your neck. drawing away slightly, he could see the golden pendant shining in between the shadows he and you made before you pulled him back to you. you sob more and more, and he doesn’t care that the tears and snot stained his white tank. the hand on your nape runs down your back, soothing you with every caress as he lets you control the pace. as the sobs become lighter, you lean back as you shift your head away, not wanting to make eye contact with him.

“be, believe me, soobin. i didn’t do it. not at all. it’s jeno cause he owns the photo-“

“i know. i know, bunny,” he replied, using your nickname of him towards you as he leaned in and gave a peck on your temple. your head lulled, sniffling the sadness away as you caressed his nape. pivoting back to him, you have a pout on your lips as soobin reads what your eyes are telling him. the hand that was holding your head trails down to hold on to the heart pendant.

“help me stay…”

soobin’s shocked face doesn’t show as he realizes what you implied, but he lets himself nip his bottom lip as he can sense the tears threatening to come out and glisten in his eyes, “please… bun. you’re the only one that understands me. and if you leave me, i don’t know what else to do.”

at once, he tucks you back in your rightful place by his torso, tilting his head to kiss your head as he soothes you with sweet and comforting sayings.

“i will, (y/n). i swear i will.” he pulls away a little before giving you a peck on your lips. they stayed pouted as he was watching you trying to return to the sobering surface, eyelids heavy as all you wanted to fall asleep and get rid of the mental and physical exhaustion you were having.

“you wanna go back home?” he brushes your tears away.

“yes, yes, please. my key is in the front pocket of my bag.” your words slur as soobin guides you to sit down on the sofa. he tugs the tote bag to see your clothes from yesterday already being folded. his hand reaches for your bag as he opens the zipper pocket to find the key before tugging it into his pocket. soobin then kneeled down, grabbing your hands to wrap around his shoulders as he lifted himself up, tugging you up so you have a better position as he piggybacked you.

your breath on his skin sends shivers down his spine as you hold on to him, letting you sleep as he picks up the tote bag and the takeout from the diner and lets them hang along his arms. adjusting the weight on his body from the bags until it’s all secure, he opens the door to miya’s apartment and brings you out into the night, taking you back home.

-

everything was blurry when you opened your eyes.

the soft duvet caresses your skin as the light being beamed at your face makes the dizziness come back, but you are aware of your surroundings as you eye the window. the sound of a calm song played by an acoustic guitar greets you as you push your body upright, stretching it as you let your eyes roam, studying where you are right now.

rubbing your swollen face, you find yourself in your room which is still as clean as ever thanks to karin. looking down, you see yourself in your usual tank top and shorts combo you wear in your room but you eye the outfit that hangs on the handle of your wardrobe: the clothes that miya lend you.

everything comes crashing down as you tuck your knees close to you, letting your duvet cover your front as you catch the flushing of the toilet and the sound of steps on the floor. the memories of last night only came out in clips and scenes, wrecking your brain that instantly works to piece up the truth—from you drinking half of miya’s wine bottle before passing out on the floor that cools your warm skin, then you see soobin coming up to you in your messiest state. even thinking about it makes your brain subduedly pulsing and it caught his attention when he stepped out from the bathroom.

“you’re awake…” you glance upwards to find soobin with a small smile, he’s shirtless as you can see the droplets of water falling from his jaw. he walks closer and pulls you into a hug. your head resting against his abdomen as he soothes you down, putting one hand behind your head.

“i’m hoping that since it’s saturday, you have no other schedule set cause you need a breath of fresh air. truly.” he spoke as you grasped one of his hands, soothing it with your own while humming an agreement. “you need more ibuprofen? you already had one when we got here when i fed you the instant ramen before you totally passed out.”

“i’m… okay. i guess?” you replied while leaning your head back to see his face as he looked down at your body on the bed. “i’m sorry for worrying you so much and for getting you involved with this.”

“nah, i wanted to get involved. and i should be the one saying sorry for not being there with you,” he answered, seeing you shaking your head as you brushed your sleepy face once again with your free palm.

the memories of the past two days coming back into your mind, yet you already felt numb to it. exhaustion and demotivation came to you simultaneously, and you were glad you got them near the end of the semester. after everything you’ve gone past, you just want a peaceful day where nothing happened, letting your mind rest and relax as you think of yourself retrospectively. all you wanted alone time, but even that was destructive to you. you confided with miya as you stayed at her place, telling her the truth of what happened at the diner that you could only call your haven, staying there until she let you stay at her place because you didn’t want to face the hoard that speaking so degradingly about you. you still don’t know if you are brave enough to speak the truth again when facing him, and how you now realize the interconnectedness of jeno and herin just from that brief interaction at the venue. how each line of the conflicts you’ve been facing this semester is now clear.

“you’re taking me somewhere?”

“uhuh… but i gotta go back to my room first to get a change of clothes. i’ll probably pick you up in 10 minutes to let you prep yourse-“

“can i go with you?” you pursed your lips. “i, i don’t think i’m brave enough to stay here alone after what’s happened. i can clean up at your room too and we can go together.”

“okay,” he instantly agrees as he pulls away and hauls you to sit on the side of the bed. your feet touching the fuzzy surface of the carpeted floor as he helps you stand up. the sleepiness is still lingering as you lightly stumble towards your wardrobe when soobin lets you go to put on his clothes.

you pull out a simple casual outfit that echos soobin’s usual style of graphic t-shirt and ripped jeans and you also pull out a hoodie to cover yourself up—both from exhaustion and to not let people see you. the sound of fabric being dusted clean is heard as you grab your undergarments before tucking them into your crossbody brown handbag along with the belongings you pulled out. you eye the outfit you wore to the concert, remembering the fashion show you had to take care of, but the painful memories of it are the prominent thing instead. letting your phone go as you tuck it back in your bag, you turn around and see soobin already prepared as you eye your room to check any items you might left behind. he goes out first as you pull up the hood to cover your head and you both walk side by side to go outside of your hall.

it was still pretty early at the campus—around 8 in the morning. the only people that you see are people working out in the morning, from the joggers to the cyclists. the serenity of the atmosphere makes you able to breathe properly for the first time since yesterday and to let the oxygen circulate into your cells. you glance at soobin who knows where he is going, yet his eyes are stuck on the path you’re on. the hand that was brushing his then holds onto his wrist, making him pause his movement as he peeks at you from the corner of his eyes. you reach your hand up to his jaw to push it upwards, seeing the way his adam’s apple gulping on his neck and how long it is after you repair his posture. a dimpled smile comes from him as he interlocks his fingers with yours and brings you back to his room.

the warm water flows down and soothes your skin as you get yourself a proper shower. soobin’s presence is right behind you as you both shower together in silence. you look closely at his face when you notice his wounded face, hissing as you recall the only thing that came into mind was when you both were at the venue. you could piece the image in your mind even though you aren’t there; how soobin has gotten punches from jeno. with the way you hiss and a light grimace on your facial expression, he reaches his hand and rests it beneath your chin before pushing your cheeks together with his thumb and forefinger, making your lips pout as you let out giggles he also follows. few words were shared as if you both knew that you just wanted to enjoy this peaceful moment with him, and you both knew that the conversation you both had to speak about would come out after he brought you to the place he wanted to bring you.

the bus was still pretty empty on the saturday morning towards noon. only those who are doing morning exercise have come and gone as they arrive back or arrive at the beach to get a few waves in for their surfing or just enjoy the beach. the route the bus has gone by two significant stops for you in the past week: the stop by the old neighborhood you and soobin went—you catch a glimpse of the crowd in the wet market as they try to find the resources to survive for the week—and the stop near the concert venue that you and he visited. the bus goes past the still ever-crowded venue as it climbs deeper and deeper into the forested hill. the newly rising sunbeams being split by the leaves as the greenery calms you down even more. the bus then tells of the last stop of its route as it arrives at the bus stop by the entrance of the infamous lake.

stepping out, you see the parking lot has a few cars in it as you see the freely entered entrance to the lakeside. booths where businesses are placed are being set up for another day. the campground area has a few tents standing upright and the wooden deck stretches out to at least four meters deep from the edge of the lake. you were already tugging the strap off from your shoulder so it rests on the nearest surface, already wanting to sit by the deck and let your legs dangle by the water when soobin spoke.

“this is not what i wanted to show you.” your eyebrows raised as you looked down to see soobin’s hand outstretched; instantly locking with yours as he guided you into a trail in the forest.

the trail was only made of a path that only experienced people could find out as he expertly pushed the branches out of the way following the path covered with bushes. you both are still within the vicinity of the lake as the trail traces around the lakeside. it was as if he’d been here before to know exactly the place he wanted to show you, but soobin’s not a haeyang resident for all you recall. you remembered hearing him mention his parents who lived in the city and how they still converse with him, unlike yours who are busy with their own partners now after their divorce. the sunlight refracts from the calm water on the lake, little waves made by the creatures living in them as you can see a glimpse of freshwater fishes swimming about, eager to be fed or if they’re unlucky, will be fished out by the people that you found preparing their fishing poles by the deck. you glance back, seeing the place you arrived at getting smaller and smaller as you both reach a clearing on the other side of the lake where you were. you eyed a wider dirt path that goes to an asphalt road as if it is made to be a little hidden nook in the lake’s vicinity.

“thought we want some peace rather than being scared by the sudden noises of children playing.” soobin replied as he pulled out what looks to be a blanket of his that you’ve seen he uses for his bed. spreading it on the ground, he rested down and sit facing the lake, patting the space for you to sit on as he tried to tug something out of his bag. your vision watches him pull out a bag of food that you recognized, a smile growing on your face as you realize it.

“i know it’s not much. but i found you through miya when i went to the diner yesterday evening. so, here is my leftover club sandwich, and miss ahn also gave us strawberry donuts-“

“you met miss ahn? wow…” you eyed the brown bag and back at him, “even i haven’t seen her again.” your hand placed on your stomach, as you can hear it rumble.

“go ahead. you haven’t eaten since last night.” he opens all the packaging as you snatch up a sliced piece of club sandwich in your hand. it still is tasty even if it’s cold, but you are glad that you’re getting your body energized. you hummed playfully as you let your taste buds work, sighing as he followed suit—drinking the bottle he brought from his mini fridge as you and he left the room.

“welp…” you brush away the crumbs off the corners of your lips, “now you realize just how much of a loser i am, soob.” you tried to joke it out, already knowing that he wanted an explanation of what happened to you to get you into this mess you’re facing. you don’t even want to find out the status of your membership in the fashion show committee because of how jeopardizing the whole predicament is—you’re tired of defending yourself when no one seems to believe you.

“you don’t have to talk about it.”

“but i know you want me to,” you replied to him, scooting your butt as you sat closer to him and putting the bag of food in front of your legs. “i owe you an explanation after all.”

soobin hums as you both stare at the flight of birds that seem to dip their toes into the lake gathering the group up as they fly away into the horizon behind the edge of the trees that surrounds you.

“starting from the beginning, jeno is my ex and i dated him throughout my freshman year. very early indeed, i know. we got to know each other because we were in the same orientation group along with herin too. i didn’t know he was that much of a red flag back then,” you chuckled as you shook your head at how stupid you were to believe the guy and let him date you, “but when i started hanging out more with my fashion major friends, they told me who he really is and the amount of evidence that just piled up to convince me of his true character. he’s the one that made me as popular as i seem to be, though people knew me more as his girlfriend than what i am now.”

rubbing your sweaty palm, you exhale a long breath then continue, “and so, he has gotten too possessive. ‘(y/n), don’t do this!’ ‘(y/n) don’t do that!’ and i at the time was very much more submissive? than i am today. i wanted to make it work, but my friends convinced me to break it off because they made me realize how he showed me off like a doll he owned. i did just that and he went ballistic. i blocked his number and socials and tried to get rid of him. focusing on building my career as a designer rather than thinking of boy drama, so i ideate on making a sustainable clothing line out of leftover fabrics and i joined the fashion show crew so i have more experience.” you tuck your knees closer to your chest as you glance at soobin, who was still facing the lake as if he doesn’t notice you turning towards him.

“i fear having a serious relationship and was branching out for more casual hookups and such, and that’s when i met you. i didn’t have any other hookups after you and after that night we did it together. it’s, like, i just found the right one who still wants to be awake to hear me rant during a pillow talk even if we are tired of fucking.”

soobin lets out a smile as his dimple deepens into his cheeks, glancing at you now as you shy away, turning your head towards the lake as you purse your lips to find the right words to continue.

“so we have this relationship between us, me having a good social life with the people we met through my friends and parties, and i rose from my lowly position of a volunteer to be liaison officer to now working in the show department and gaining friends from the show committee. yada yada yada. but i didn’t know that herin was also a staff in the fashion show crew and i met her now who is leading the marketing department.”

“you always had bad blood with her.” soobin commented as he let his long legs outstretched, resting on top of the blanket-covered rocks and pebbles as it helped relieve his muscles.

“i do and the thing is: i don’t know how it happened. suddenly she was just, trying to belittle me as much as she could. my friends helped me stay away from her most of the time but then we got a class together and she threw balls of papers at me. long story short, she has a higher position than me in the crew because she had a way from being a student committee and she took advantage of that.”

“and you don’t fight back?” he eyes you, full of expectation, and all you can do is pout your lips. you always present yourself as a strong, independent, young adult woman who faces challenges head-on and is not scared to be a social butterfly—making you famous among your peers. but, you were the only one who knew the true you. the whole truth behind this facade you’ve been cultivating since you moved out of haeyang.

“we’ll pin that ‘cause it’s gonna get to there.” you clear your throat as he gives you the bottle, letting the water ease the dryness as you resume, “so yeah. she started putting her jobs on me and i can’t say no. her power overshadows mine and she could definitely tell my supervisor if i defy her. not only that, but since i got accepted to showcase my clothing on the show, i could lose both my position and my opportunity to showcase my work if i don’t behave. but from doing the jobs and meetings, physically, i’m slowly getting tired. but then i realized if it shows, i will get berated again. the cycle will repeat.” you take a glimpse at soobin whose eyes are looking at the area around your eyes. you’re too late to realize how sunken your eyebags must be as you usually wear enough concealer to cover them up.

“jeno then appeared, and he was trying his best to persuade me to get rid of my chance to be in the fashion show lineup, saying that his ‘girlfriend’ wanted to do it and in return, i could be a model for her fashion line. i openly said no, but he just threatened me then he mentioned you and how you just cannot be compared to him, trying to make me turn back to him cause he had more money and power as a haeyang local. but, i still caught on to him saying he had a girlfriend and just said no. he said something along the lines of ‘you’re gonna regret not coming back to me’ but i shut it out. well, i didn’t expect that to be recorded and spread around.” you giggle. you always come back to humor as your coping mechanism, thinking back on what types of decisions you made back then that you definitely won’t make now.

“then at the meet-up with the fashion show crews, i had finished doing my task for the stage design and all of that stuff when herin approached me, saying that i didn’t give her tasks back even though i remembered i already sent it to her through email—just like she wanted. but she got called out for not giving the tasks back to the project officer and because she didn’t ‘find’ any incoming email from me in her inbox, that’s how i got pushed.” you looked down at your shirt-covered stomach, “and got the bruise you saw.”

you turn your upper body to face fully at him, your eyes drooping down as you swallow your saliva, “but believe me when i say that i don’t ever slut myself to my teachers. the pic that was spreading was taken by jeno and i consented to that like the fucking idiot i was. i thought he might delete it after we broke up but using it for blackmail seems to be the reason he seems to have so many pics of people in compromising positions in his phone when i secretly look through it during our relationship.” you let out sigh, having the weight falling off your shoulder and you seem to hear it drop onto the rocks you are sitting on, cracking a few of them like your heart does when you see the picture spreading across the socials. just like how it is when you realize you might’ve broken soobin’s trust in you after you open up so much to it.

“now for the main course: the reason i don’t fight back.” you face back towards the lake as you catch soobin’s head turning towards you. “when i moved out of haeyang at 10 years old to a city i didn’t know, i always felt like an outsider. people asked me where i was from and where or what is haeyang if mentioned it. it was hard for me to adapt but then i realized: i had to blend in to survive. so i did that, and it continued throughout middle school, high school, and when i enrolled here. the only way for me to survive was to blend in with the crowd that could belittle me. but then meeting you change my perception.”

soobin’s hum rings in your ears, him taking an interest in what you are trying to say. with a few blinks, you let your eyes rest on his face. “you have this color of your own when i looked at you. like, even if you are trying to blend in, you still have your own interests and it’s from your alt scene shenanigans and astronomy, for me. how even if people say that your interests are a bit out of left field, it still piques my interest in you. it makes me think of what my interests are outside of fashion, cause i don’t think i had one.” you close your eyes to think of the next words to say when your memory throws you into a scene where you and soobin sit on the sand at the beach while viewing the sunset. yet, your conscious mind tells you that this never happened before, making you guess that is this jamais vu? clairvoyance? you don’t know for sure.

“when you showed your alien-inspired storyboard to me at the music store, i was and still am genuine to say that i see myself in it too. i realized just how alienated my life was when i felt exhausted from going with the mainstream; to join an event crew so it can look good on my cv, to go to parties so i can get more followers. and how i realized just how fake everything is when i started stopping regularly opening my socials nearly a week ago and you don’t know how glad i am that you’ve been wanting me around you.”

you watched as soobin’s eyebrows crumpled as he gazed at you, making your lips tremble as you stared at the blue sky above you from the opening of the forest. even if its color is reflected on the lake’s surface, you rather view it instead when the sun is still not high enough to blind you. the sky blue is clear as the sky doesn’t have enough droplets to create one rain cloud, and even from the distance you are in, you can see a deeper color of blue if you look closer to the sky as best as you can.

“the earth does look good if it has rings around it.” you blurted out, making soobin let out a silent gasp that made you chuckle, “just imagine if we can see the streaks of creamy white on the surface of the sky now even if it’s daytime. it would be so beautiful that admiring it’s just enough to lighten up your day,” you mumbled out, visualizing with your eyes on how the rings would be so far yet still is visible enough for people on the planet to observe it. yet it only created a small part of the circles that surround the planet.

“i wish i could be an alien to see it from space. i bet it looks more marvelous than here.” your eyes caught him as you read his face to find it took a downturn from the smile that was on. instantly, you reached out to him as you let your fingers rest against his.

“hey. i didn’t know my words would affect you that way and i’m sorry for that-“ your word got cut off as you closed your eyes, letting his lips meld into yours as your hand moved on top of his, cupping it as he did with your cheek with his other hand. the kiss is reminiscent of the one you got at the gig venue, though a bit more melancholic, as if soobin’s trying to tell you something from it like you did to him before. as he pulls back to let you both breathe, your thumb meets his fallen tears as you cup his face with both of your hands.

“fucking hell…” soobin cursed as he wipes his eyes, making you look at him in concern as his eyes rapidly moves, trying to get away from you who still looks at him. he licked his lips and took a deep breath. he rubs his sweaty forehead as you give a peck on the button of his nose. you see him contemplating something as his adam’s apple moves once again, pulling out the strawberry donut so you eat it. he follows as you soothe him, hand caressing his back as he eats his own portion of the donut. the taste always brings back the memories you had with yeonjun, but now it has the memory you had with soobin when you invited him to the diner for the first time.

soobin stands up as he puts the leftover bags inside his own for the nearest trash can and pulls you onto your feet. you both fold the blanket after you clean it up, brushing it hard with your hands so the specks of dirt fall. and now you stand with open arms, heart, and mind. all you are—as you say so—can now be read like a book to soobin as you told him how it happened, and he didn’t seem as upset as you predicted.

“i also want to share one more place with you.”

“you’re tiring me out,” you jokingly said as he let out a pout, but just from the way his eyes gazed at you with his tilted head—you knew it was serious. “okay, uh, let me help.” you stand up and help pick the blanket up before folding it against your chest. his eyes already looking towards the path, but the pathway closest to the road before he goes back towards the dirt path you both went through.

“just wanna ask, how’d you know a place like this exists by the lake? i used to visit this lake back when i lived here but i didn’t know that exist.” you try to keep up with soobin as his face just slowly going back to his resting no-certain-emotion face. both of you trekking down the path where you can see the lake getting more crowded with the visitors coming from the weekend.

“i used to go here with a friend of mine if we wanted to rest from downtown, taking a down time, and just talking things out. it helps you speak up and i’m proud of you for that. but i think this place i’m gonna bring you to is much more appropriate with what i’m going to tell you.”

a friend of his? is it when he was a freshman? did he have a friend he never told you about? your guess is han, but from the stories soobin told you, he’s just a business partner of his from the identifiable dynamic. yet, come to think of it, soobin knows much about haeyang even if he only stayed for around two years. it’s like he has the hidden gems around the town in his mind, like a local telling stories about the town they lived in for years. you couldn’t do that with haeyang now because you recognize little and from the memories that made you nostalgic but also painful to remember. maybe it could be how you brought yourself up and how it makes you not attentive enough to the changes here. this used to be your home a decade ago and is your home now.

sipping on the bottle of lemonade you bought for the two of you, the bus ride brings you onto the slanted road that takes you down the hills of haeyang. the background is the picturesque view you’ve always seen by the coast. more people come and go on the bus as you’ve just realized how much you missed out on haeyang. the way miss ahn’s diner still caught people’s attention, the two-story bookstore you used to go to in your childhood on the block corner now changes into a japanese ramen restaurant, and just how lively the town is outside of the areas you only frequent in your college career.

back when you were little, you always saw haeyang as a town you could tackle with yeonjun and your bicycle rides. everybody knows you as it seems so intimate and quaint. when you moved out, everybody told you that haeyang was nowhere; it’s so small compared to the metropolis you lived in where everything exists. then, you come back, still with the same mindset that you had from the city when you realize how much you failed to look out at the changes in haeyang. yes, sure it is smaller than the city you used to live in. but haeyang had a much more distinct color of blues and greens compared to the city’s dull monochromes. and you only realized it now as the color saturation come back, as you let go of the expectations and people’s perception about you that insecure you so much to say “fuck it.” the rose-colored glasses you wore back then were still there, but the tint changes to clear as you see haeyang into how it is—a vibrant hipster town that you don’t mind staying in longer.

the bus ride was quiet as all you could do was admire haeyang in a new light—soobin knew what you were doing as he didn’t bother you at all. the bus takes you past the campus and into a more residential area of haeyang where soobin signals you that this is your stop. stepping out of the bus, your eyes are stuck on the lighthouse on the edge of your eyeline, still standing as ever from when you were old enough to identify it. the surrounding houses make your heart bloom as the blocks still look the same as what you remembered. you can visualize yourself riding a bicycle just like some kids are doing now, riding past you as they converse on it. you glance at one of the turns to the blocks, recalling the road to yeonjun’s home that snaps back into your memory.

“i want you to close your eyes for me.” you shift towards soobin, who speaks with a cheeky smile, “take my hand and close your eyes. it’s a surprise.”

“okay…” you answered, slowly closing the lids of your eyes as your hand grips soobin’s tightly and he signals you to walk with him to your next destination.

with your sight covered, it makes you notice on how alive haeyang is, the sound of the skidding of bicycles followed by exclaims of children, the smell of the sea that is just kilometers away from here, the sun that hits right enough that you aren’t burning. you try to rake your head at where soobin is taking you and how he knows this neighborhood. you remember the small park you used to play when you were 6, on the jungle gym and colorful slide—though you don’t know if it’s still there. the lighthouse is near here but you remembered that there was a bus stop near it, so it makes little sense why he told you to step off here. you think about how soobin guides you, feeling how he tells you to turn a corner just by how he walks and how you let your legs follow him. the moisture made from your eyes is threatening to come out, but you relax yourself as to not destroy the surprise he has for you.

you sense soobin slowed down as he remains an arm’s length distance so you don’t collide with each other. your lips open as you take in your breath of oxygen and you feel hands on both of your shoulders.

“turn your body for me, please?” soobin’s familiar whispers tell you as you let him turn your torso to where you should be facing. from your closed eyes, you could see an imposing shadow taller than you and obscuring the sun. its shape is more rigid with angular lines all over.

“you can open your eyes.”

at first, it was blurry, but when you blinked it away, you let your eyes wander along the sight he was showing you.

it’s your house. the house that you lived in haeyang a decade ago. your eyes wander to the window placements and they’re still the same—you can look to the window above to know that it’s your room. it has vines and moss growing from the cracks of the exterior wall, and overgrown grass on the lawn, as if it is abandoned so it can rot. you notice a pristine white sign beside the carpool your dad used to park the family car at.

FOR SALE.

soobin’s hands are still behind you as you glance to see him also tearing up whilst seeing you tearing up. your eyebrows raised as you turn your body to face him, not knowing what to say other than, “how’d you know this place?”

his eyes tilted down to scan the cracked pavement as you brought a knuckle to brush the tear away from his cheek, a wistful sigh coming out from him. “i’d know this place is significant to you because it’s also significant to me.”

what?

didn’t soobin only come to haeyang at the same time as you were at the start of your freshman year? what does he mean it’s significant to him too? these thoughts are running down your mind as he steps towards the front door, making you chase him down as you state, “are we trespassing in? soobin, answer me.”

“do you want to see it or not?” he replies with a stern voice, making you taken aback as you let him kneel and work on the lock with what looks like a needle he got from your place. as much as it is morally incorrect to trespass into a property that you don’t own, the place looks abandoned enough that people might not notice if staggers stay inside or not. plus, it is your home once.

the lock clicks as soobin carefully opens the door handle, pushing forward as you greet the dusty hallways. though it has a dull color from the gray dust collecting, the place still has the same color as what you remembered in the past. dust flies as you both step into the hallway that leads you to the open space at the back. you feel weird seeing the old home that you left, a few pieces of furniture still settled inside but no sign of who lived here, because you recognize the items of furniture as the ones your family left behind when you moved—not needing them cause the new place already has better furniture.

the open space that is the living room, dining room, and kitchen combined still lets out a sense of familiarity for you. it opens to the empty backyard full of grass, either an empty spot of them or a spot full of overgrown.

“i-“ you wanted to say something but paused as everything came down on you and you felt a tear running down your cheek. all the memories of your childhood when living in the house clouded your mind. you remember how you and yeonjun always played tag in between the living room and backyard with his mom and your mom reminding you both to be careful, how you used to have a dollhouse in the backyard where you and he played family with you two’s favorite plush dolls.

and you turn to soobin, who has tears falling down his eyes, making you hold on to his face as you hug him to calm him down.

“i also want to share with you how the alien storyboard happens and anything that happens this week.” he rubs his sweaty forehead as you give another peck on the button of his nose, “but you’re going to think i’m crazy.”

“no, i’m not.” you lightly tell him, trying to ease the mood. but with the place that you are in and what he told you, you knew something must have happened to this place that also affected him so significantly. you eyed the plastic-covered sofa that is still put in the same position you remember, thinking of how much you spent sitting on it and how it still is preserved when you see no holes in the plastic.

“but to do that, i also have to tell it from the beginning.” he pulls away from your arms as he lifts the plastic covering off the sofa, eyeing the blanket he had in his bag before spreading it out to cover it. his sitting figure knowing that you’re there for another serious discussion with him—something you now learned you have always liked with him. you follow suit, resting your hand against the exposed knee of his ripped jeans as he leans back against the sofa, letting out another sigh.

“i,” he starts, “i used to live here, but it’s not in this line of time.” your ears perked up at the last words, tilting your head to tell him to continue.

“i was eleven and i became an orphan. both of my parents died in this car accident and i had no choice but to live with my next of kin which are my uncle and aunt. they moved back to haeyang—my dad’s family was from here—and he bought a home here after i graduated elementary. then i started middle school here and i sat next to a boisterous boy who you know because his name is choi yeonjun.”

hearing soobin speaking the name of your childhood best friend’s name makes you gasp. everything you remember about telling him about yeonjun seems to be fake when you realize he knew him, even more recently as the last time you saw him was at age 10. you noted some discrepancies in his story, but you let it slide as you want to understand why he has been wanting to stay by your side for the past week.

“he became a best friend of mine all throughout my teen years. the bestest of friends and might be even more. i used to have a crush on him actually, but i know he doesn’t see me that way so i’m just happy to be by his side. i started tattooing when i was with him, even tattooing him many times like i’m his designated tattoo artist. but the first thing that makes us close is the traumatic experience we both face: that his mom also died from a car accident.”

“but-“ yeonjun’s mom didn’t die here. you still remember an episode in your life when you were at his house and how his mom came back to buy some groceries and whilst you ate waited for your parents to pick you up. but, her frazzled appearance caught your attention, remembering yeonjun asking her what happened as she told you of a near-death experience she had gotten in a comedic way. if she was meant to die—like what soobin is saying of his different “line of time”—she survived here.

“yeonjun’s mom is still alive?” soobin finished your sentence as he nodded along, “that is true. and it relates to what i said on how i lived here but not in this line of time because,” he scoots closer to you as if someone is in trouble for hearing it, “i’m not from here. my body is really from here cause there is soobin here, but there are parts that are not. i’m from a timeline where my parents died but they’re alive here, a connected string of events from when yeonjun’s mom died but she’s alive here.”

he looks at his palm, lifting it as he opens it widely. he lets his fingers stretch as wide as he can as if he’s trying to show you something with it. “in my timeline back then, some people can be given this power to control time. i knew someone who had one like this which is miya’s variant in my timeline name min. so we discussed how it happened and told them how i got mine when i graduated high school. in those days, i was a punk who didn’t have a plan for the future other than partying and drugs. but i still have a lingering thought about how my parents died and how they died here in haeyang just like yeonjun’s mom. so i dedicated my time after high school to find out the truth because it’s too much of a coincidence. then i find a connecting dot: the same car.”

you’re trying to unravel the strings of it in your mind as you pin down which pieces of information have already been elaborated, but the way soobin speaks about it is so articulate, as if he has a script in his mind; as if he knows he has to tell it someday.

“the same car that killed yeonjun’s mom also killed my parents and that revelation breaks me. i was getting comfortable using this power, chronokinesis as what min and i called it, but then a thought came into my head: what if i prevent the crash from happening? do you remember when we talked about the most traumatic experience we witnessed and that i talked about a car crash?” he nudged to you, who was looking at his lap as you pieced up the words he had flown.

“yeah, i do.” your eyes move back to meet his as he nods, already signalling to you that you know the answer. that the car crash soobin witnessed back when he was a child was the same accident where yeonjun’s mom died.

“long story short, i succeed in saving yeonjun’s mom. and i arrived here, as a freshman at haeyang institute of arts and my parents were alive and well. i see myself having the tattoos i had back in my original timeline—that’s why i believe my body hijacks the body here—but i still remember the memories of the past soobin here too. i connected the dots on how it happened and i went back to realize that yeonjun hadn’t seen me for five days from the five days i spent time here, wanting to know how my life was here. and i realize how satisfied i was because i got my parents back and have a better life than the trauma of dead parents and abusive kins.”

“so you had to choose?” you blurted out, too engaged in the story that you just realized what you said yet you still continued, “between your original timeline and here?” you listened to the way soobin sighed, knowing what you were saying was true.

“yes. and you see, chronokinesis doesn’t stay in the soul who possessed it. a world-ending scenario haunts the users and they have to stop it with it. what min or miya told me, the way to stop the apocalyptic event was to find a remedy in yourself. they do when they come here to come out to their parents here or some other timeline they went. but the only thing i had to remedy for myself was the truth of my parents’ passing and to get out of the misery i was having.” he stops, gulping down his saliva and reaching to take a bite of his thumb’s nail before he resumes.

“that choice was so cruel. i either had to stay here and disappear from my original timeline or go back to be with yeonjun who needed a support system but then a forest fire happened and burned haeyang. so i chose to stay here and prepare everything, even the house i lived in to be given to yeonjun so he could take care of it. and when i decided to stay here, my powers were gone. i can’t go back if i want to.” soobin brushes his fallen hair away from his face as he moves his head to look elsewhere.

“then you met me and we became… us.” you seemed to summarize correctly what he was saying. but you also see it visually when you’re at the party where you first met him. he looks like someone who is trying to blend in when his aura just stands out to you, and you believe that you’re the only one who notices it.

“things become normal as we do our thing of being a college student: studying, partying, and building networks. until a week ago when i came across you, well not you now, but you from my original timeline.” soobin replied, licking his lips as he was waiting for your reaction. but rather than surprised, you feel satisfied as you can piece up the random memories that came to your mind of when you and soobin were on the beach or when you saw a look to be the face of yeonjun, much older and with a blue hair, that you don’t remember how it got there.

“she was there to meet yeonjun, to tell the yeonjun back in the original timeline on how his mom is here. back then, i also heard stories of (y/n) from his perspective. never did i expect you were also the (y/n) yeonjun was talking about. she only visited for a day but then we talked about what happened with each of our lives and i got the news from her that yeonjun wasn’t doing so well after my disappearance. and when she goes back and you return, i had this immense guilt crushing me.” his voice trembled.

“then the existentialist thoughts are coming. what is my purpose here other than to be selfish when my best friend was suffering when i was not there? is all of this is just a fluke? i felt like an impostor because i am one. and the thing is, i can’t go back.”

you can feel your eyes stinging as you listen to his monologue of revealing anything.

“and that’s why i see myself as an alien, 'cause i am an alien. an alien who is homesick but doesn’t have a way to go home cause the way to go back was buried on top of my selfishness to feel happiness.” the muscles around your eyes crease as you see his tears fall once again, the white of his eyes are now becoming from pink just about how hard he has been pouring out his feelings. your hand reaches out behind him as you remember when you caught him having a panic attack that night in your room, not being able to fall asleep, and how you realized that that was the reason for it.

“so i tried to grasp everything that feels real for me about living here and the only thing i could grasp was you. you’re the only real thing to me and even with our conventional relationship, you still are the only person i’m comfortable being myself with, both the me from this timeline and me from my original timeline. what that (y/n) makes me realize is how my feelings for you have bloomed so much. so she gave me tips: to let myself out to you more so you’re comfortable enough to tell me about yourself.”

you remembered a note on your phone that implies that specific thing—it’s been a diary of your thoughts you didn’t think would get spilled. but you gotta have to thank your variant self who actually tells soobin, cause you don’t think you might change your perspective of life if he hadn’t opened up about himself through all the hangouts you had outside of both of your comfort zones. just how monotone your life has been that you can’t also give the same tour of hidden gems he had brought you.

“i tried to make you know who i am to anchor myself back to earth because you’re the one i can trust to lean on when i face this problem of mine. every time i was with you, no thoughts of it ever came back and that’s how i realized just how much i like being with you, no matter how busy or hidden we are.” he turns his body to face you, grabbing onto both of your hands in his as he grips it hard. huge exhales coming out of him as even when you stare at him, the tears are pricking your eyes. his eyes stares at yours, expressing from the way he look just how determined and tired he also seems.

“please, help me stay…”

his words echo the same words you remember telling him last night. when you said it, you were already on the brink of a decision between life and death, as you seemed to be ready to give everything up to have a peaceful life. but when he said it, you learned just how big of a scope those words can be; because other than him also wanting to live, his predicament is much bigger.

because he wants you to help him make a home here so that he won’t feel homesick again. he wants you to be a place where he can fall back if he is floating too high to the edge of space.

both of you are aliens and all you two want is the place to belong.

and you know where you belong.

leaning in, your lips connect with his own as you feel the tears falling down your cheeks. soobin’s breath hitches before he calms—his hands gripping onto yours as if you might go away. the same feeling you felt during the kiss at the concert comes back once again, now with more colors. you sensed soobin’s hands letting go of yours as he cupped your cheeks, holding you so tenderly in his hands as if you were a piece of something so fragile. your hands trace up to rest on his shoulders as you tilt your head, letting him closer and better for you to breathe. everything you both faced from the past week being poured out onto the pool where you both are swimming in, drowning yourself with so many thoughts and things as you can’t help but think about how hurtful soobin must have felt. to think that he wasn’t needed. to soobin telling you the things that you’ve felt ever since you moved away.

you’re the one that pulled back first, resting your forehead against his, eyes closed as you just feel his breath against yours. your hand moves to the back of his head, holding him like he is doing to your cheeks—not wanting to let go because you’re afraid he might float away from you. your lips brush against his as he gives slight pecks, getting your heart beating so much that you can sense warmth around your chest cavity that could burst if you don’t hold back.

opening your eyes as you lean slightly back, you see how a sunbeam lights up his swollen eyes perfectly, making them look like crystals that are so beautiful and more valuable than any gems out there. your head tilted against one of his palms, making you pout as he gives you his signature smile, complete with the dimples showing.

“i’ll help you stay.” you blink away the tears, undeserving of seeing such a beautiful sight in front of you, “you deserve a place to belong, soobin. and i’m glad that i could call you mine.”

soobin lets out a wistful sigh before a chuckle, brushing his nose against yours, “i’ll gladly call you mine if you say so.”

you nod your head as you pull him back into a kiss, letting the emotions flow around you as if the aura exudes out of you twirls around you both. his hands tracing your outfit, the oversized graphic t-shirt being pressed down as he felt your warmth seeping out and you felt the coldness more. you’re breathless, tilting your head back as soobin trails his lips down to your jaw, licking the skin before he trails to your neck. giggles coming out of you as soobin remembers the part you are most ticklish, your hand trailing to the end of his t-shirt as you press your palm against his abdomen—something he likes you to do. he pulls back as you feel the hickeys blooming against your skin, nodding your head as you already lifted your elbow up so it’s easier for him to take the tee off of you.

your skin breathes as you feel the colder atmosphere of the room touch the surface. the sun shines into the abandoned home directly from the backyard glass door behind you, casting a shadow of you against him as you see the shape of your body. looking down, you could still see the hickey marks he left nearly a week ago, healing up along with the appearance of a golden necklace resting above the valley between your breasts: the golden necklace he gave to you. the heart pendant rested perfectly above your sternum almost hidden by the bra as soobin pressed down on it, making you give out a sigh from the combination of sensations all over your exposed skin. nipping your bottom lip, you didn’t expect him to leave it there instead of taking it off like the others.

shivers running down your spine as he caresses your covered nipples—your hands tugging on his t-shirt so he could also follow you. he lets his t-shirt fall down with your bags on the floor as he leans in to give you a kiss, another hand reaching down to cup against your nether region even if it is walls behind the jeans and your underwear. tracing down, you sense his muscles contracting from every movement he exerts under your touch. then you land your hand on his left chest, feeling the heart beating underneath it rapidly as you whisper sweet nothings against his lips. his hand reaches behind you, expertly pulling off the hooks of your bra as it falls between the two of you. you can feel his heart relax under your hand—following along with your own pulse.

he still let his eyes gaze on you as if this is the first time you had sex with him, seeing his adam’s apple move as you both communicate without words. he leans down, tracing his nose between the valley of your boobs as he kisses your skin, tracing the skin around where the chain and pendant touch. your free hand holds onto his raven locks softly as he moves to kiss your right areola, letting his hand take care of the left as he playfully pinches your nipple to make it perky alongside sucking on the other—feeling the gush of moist beneath you. your hand also moves to his nipple, knowing just how much he likes it as you can feel the blood streaming down to his nether regions.

“ahh, fuck…” your moan is airy, tilting your head back as soobin interchangeably plays with your boobs. most of the time he does it, he usually plays with it like a stress ball: slapping it around and making hickeys on it. and he seems to do such that, but it’s full of emotion and care underlying his actions. you let both of your hands trail down both sides of his body, feeling the ridges of his ribs beneath your touch as you skim his v-line. soobin wasn’t the most muscly man you’ve seen, but you love him for his realistic healthier body that still has fat in it, making it easier for you to grip on him without hurting his other organs. your hands hold onto the belt area of his jeans, telling him to straighten up so you can easily pull it down.

soobin notices as he pulls back, his chapped lips now full of saliva that is also glistening on your torso. he kneels on the cushion of the sofa, raising his hips up so it is a straight down motion for you to do. leaning closer as you tug the button out and zipper down, his bulge shows from underneath the black fabric of his underwear as you pull the jeans down to his knees. pursing your lips, you kiss his bulge which seems to grow more, earning sighs from him as he brushes your lips with his thumb.

“look at you,” he said, making you look up as you take in his thumb, wetting it all up for him as you give his fingers a suck to wet them up. soobin pulls away as he lets the wet thumb trail your chest and the necklace that decorated it. with your teeth free to grip the rubber band, you pull down the boxer to be met with his cock fully erect, springing out and hitting your hairline. a free hand gripping it, you felt the tip touching the corner of your eye as you caress it with your cheek, lips nipping the closest part to them. your other hand reaches down to play with his balls, lightly squeezing them as you feel his other hand gripping your hair. the other wetter one trailing down your spine as you bend forward.

you trail your lips up from the base to the tip as you give it kisses, letting you taste his pre-cum as you wipe it with your tongue. “just like that,” soobin commented.

your mind going into overdrive with thinking on the things he loves when you suck him off. though rarely when you both meet up, sometimes oral is enough to satisfy him and he usually wants it when he has a block that stops him from drawing. in you two's dynamic, soobin has always been the more dominant and even though you tried to dom him, he instead becomes a service dom that gives you whatever you like. he trained you as best as he could so you could take him as deep as you can, and you definitely will try your best to appreciate him for that.

slowly, you push your head down as you take soobin’s shaft in, wetting him until the midsection of his cock as you let your hand wipe the rest that isn't taken. your tongue idle in the position so that it can drag under his shaft, letting your saliva wet him. your eyes tilting up to see him as he faces his head upwards, jaws slacken as groans come out of him. and you felt it, the way his other hand now goes inside your jeans from behind, caressing your wet core as two of his fingers play with it.

“so wet already. only for me, yeah?” he questioned, looking down at you who is taking him so well, earning a breath hitch as your nose touches his pubic area, swallowing in a relaxed manner as you have taken him deep multiple times—as you already know how to take his cock down your throat so you don’t gag. you pull the cock out, hearing the slurping sound ringing through the big spacey room.

“only for you,” you replied, voice already not as clear as combined with your emotional outburst and what you are doing. your hands move, both of them around his cock, as you suck on the tip. letting go of one as you take him until your nose touches the other hand, both of them work in tandem as you also feel him stimulate you by teasing his fingertips to your hole.

“my girl,” he replied, hand gripping onto your hand to make you still as you let him move his hips so his shaft moves between your circled hand and into your mouth cavern. you whine as you feel him enter not one, but two fingers into your moist walls, making you lean back as he teases you once again. your free hand grasps his thigh, tracing the soundwave tattoo he told you about with your saliva and his excess release. you were panting for air when he pulled out, his face creased as you knew he was about to cum.

you let him pull your hair away as you also lift your hips to kneel like him, letting him spread your saliva from your mouth down to your sweating body as both of your lips slam into each other. the way the start was all so soft was now gone as you both let your teeth smash to each other, tongues exploring each other as you let him taste himself. his hand reaches your own jeans as he takes care of the button and zipper, pulling it down along with your underwear as you lay yourself down—head on the armrest.

his breath tickles you as he followed where your body is, not for a second hesitating to give your clit a kiss—making you shriek as you immediately close your mouth and cover it with your hand. your eyes look upwards, calming yourself down as soobin stimulates you with his lips and tongue. you see the unfamiliar ceiling, reminding you that you aren’t in your room, reminded you that you are in your old home on a couch that you might last sat on a decade ago. soobin’s fingers prodding around your lower lips and finding the right hole to push in, feeling fuller than when he did it a few moments ago as you turn to see his eyes staring at you and your heaving chest. he always knew what you liked, and he seemed to pull every stop out like you do. moans are going out louder than usual but you are inherently silent from the amount of times you have to hold back when you both have sex in your or his rooms. but the sensation is different. you feel yourself gushing even more, brushing his bangs as you watch the sweat trailing down his forehead.

“fuck, how can you feel better?” you exasperated, feeling his chuckle stimulating your sensitive core as he continues. his hand trails up to your stomach and presses it down so you don’t move your hips around, making a moan let out of you as you can feel every surface of his tongue prodding inside you. one hand on his hair—gripping tightly onto his locks to push him closer—and the other resting on top of his hand that’s pressing down on your stomach, curling your fingers on it as you tilt your head back from pleasure.

“cum for me,” you hear him mutter before continuing his journey of pleasuring you. your mind becomes hazy, signaling you to follow his command because he knows that you’re edging closer and closer—you both know so much about each other’s body that it makes you feel hot and shy at the same time. a loud moan came from you as you felt the gush rushing down and all your muscles becoming relaxed, his thumb playing with your nub as you see your excrement shining on soobin’s face- wait…

“you squirted.” he lifted his head as he mumbled, licking your release near his lips and even picking some that were sticking to his head. your panting becomes more audible as heat flows to your cheeks, making you cover your face as soobin laughs before plopping his weight above you—not all of them so as to not crush you down.

he moves both of your hands from your face as you look to your side to see the muscles on his left arm tense from holding himself upright. his long limb reaches onto the floor so that he doesn’t fully crush you. you eye the tattoos that painted his arm shines from the sun seeping into the room, biting your bottom lip as you reach your closest hand to caress it up. the doodle of a bunny that you made, the elaborate avant-garde lines of the drums, until the monochromatic saturn that you wish it could spin with your touch. you return your gaze to soobin, who is following the way your hand glide to his face. pushing your thumb against his skin, you gather the remains of your cum towards his lips just; like what he did before you suck him off. soobin’s thick lips gladly take the thumb in, giving it a good suck so that none of your taste remains uneaten. the scene left you agape as you pushed his head to let him meet your lips once again.

these feels different. the rhythm of your foreplay, the dynamic that goes from a rough, passionate stimulation to a slow loving, all seems to become a harmony that you and he made, like the music you usually played in the background when you are fucking. but now both of you are the ones that are controlling it. as you let his tongue battle with yours, you realized just how in sync both of you are: knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, knowing when one has to cum, understanding each other’s limitation and to give you a cool down. these feels much tender, much more love than just the plain—though not—old sex you usually have. your limbs tangle with each other as you enjoy each other’s presence all exposed with no weight, pushing you back after what you both have told to each other.

the way his hand moves to your hip breaks the trance, a single signal to remind you of the rock-hard cock leaning tall against the skin of your stomach. you move your hips as you let your legs wrap around him, feeling the breeze enters your vaginal walls that have already been stretched by two—maybe even three—of soobin’s fingers.

“make love to me, soob,” you mumbled, seeing the stars in soobin’s eyes sparkle even brighter than the sun that is lighting the world.

“i love you so much,” he mumbled, positioning the tip of his dick as he plays with your wet lips, earning a groan from you who is just wanting him to fill your hole.

“if i said it back, would you plunge yourself deep in me?” you replied with pursed lips as you cradled his face in your hold. he replied by giving the palm a kiss, making you answer with, “i love you too, bun.”

the stretch increases as his three fingers are never enough to fill you up to the brim. you can feel his tip kissing your cervix as soobin kisses down your neck. tears brimming in your eyes from the overwhelming feelings you are having, from the relief, to the lust, to the love. your legs automatically lift as it rests near his shoulder blades.

“fuck, (y/n). you still so tight even if i shape your walls to match my cock.” he reacts, moving his hand so he can let one of your feet rest right on his shoulder by the front, folding you in half as you smile and feel the tears mixing up with your saliva. you bring him down as he looks at your crying self lovingly, knowing deep down just why you were crying so hard as he tells it to you just from a kiss of his lips. soobin’s eyes landed on the way the heart pendant slips down your torso with every thrust. yet, he doesn’t stop ramming into you at the pace that you both enjoy. you can’t remove your eyes from the pleasure painting his face, jaw opens and eyes rolling back just like you do. your fingertips caress where his dimple is, pressing it down as soobin’s smile shows it to you.

as you both relentlessly pleasured each other—his shaft shaping your walls to make it only for him—you could only stare at each other as the world turned into a blur. the orange and black colors paint your surrounding blurs out so they can highlight him like he’s the light at the end of the tunnel: because he is your savior from digging too deep into the abyss of negative thoughts. he is so beautiful and you hope you are the same to him.

“i’m cumming.” you mumble from the rolling moans coming out, trying to calm yourself down as you don’t want to bother the other people living in the other houses besides the one that you are in. streaks of white flashes in your eyes as your cum lubricates your walls for him to continue on. his lips brush against yours as you heard him groan out, mumbles of curse words and praises coming out as you accept it with a kiss whilst his warm cum filled you. his back rises and falls with your chest as you are engulfed in his shadow, your fingers curled against his back as you are under his protection. and you feel him getting hard again.

“come on,” you muttered as you lower your legs to his waist, locking your feet together as you push him off of you with the strength you reserved—he reacted so well as to know that you want to mount him. with your position switch, he rested his head against the other armrest of the couch as you let your tight grip on his cock go. folding your knees so you can move easier, you feel his warmth gushing down from your walls as you see both of your cums out of your hole. his hands move to grip your side as you both look down to see the white circle on the base of his cock. you giggle so lovingly as soobin just gazed at you, setting aside your overstimulation as you move on him—lifting your hips up before letting him impale you down his enormous cock.

your face wretches as he kisses your cervix once again, feeling every blood vessel of his shaft shaping your ridge. your closed eyes letting you see the sun as you stretch your spine, nearly bending backward because of the feeling he gives you spreading all throughout your words. soobin’s dirty talk is non-existence as you can only hear groans and moans coming out of him that combine with yours. leaning forward, you rested your arms beside soobin’s head as he rubbed his hand down your spine—letting you feel the tingle as he traced every ridge of the bones making it. your forehead resting against his as both of your breaths combine with each other, hums, moans, and whines coming from you as he whispers incoherent words yet still looks at you with his sparkling eyes. both of your swollen lips meet once again as he pushes his heels down and hips up to match your rhythm. your necklace dangling in front of his face as he tries to kiss it, remembering that’s one way of him showing his love to you.

“s-soob- fuck fuck fuck.” your pronunciation comes in the same rhythm as you meet his movement. his palm resting against your neck as he gives you a bit of pressure that makes your head spin more.

“make me yours…” you hear him mumble out as your body shakes, an overwhelming amount that makes you float into space as you lean down against his chest and let your nipples graze his pectoral. his kisses and licks bringing you down while he guides you to make him cum again. his warning to you makes you look back down towards him, blurry in your eyes yet you can still trace his features as you lightly brush his lips with yours, giving it a small yet enough kiss as he pushes his hips up and stays there, his cum painting more of your walls as you can hear the sloshing sound of both of your releases. all messy, but all because you made love.

his hands rested on your lower back as he pushes your hips down on his, not wanting to let you go off his cock as you both calm down. you give him light kisses on his face before you push yourself off of him, his hand already by your core as when he can see his semen coming out, he pushes it in.

“stay in there!” he groaned as he pushed his fingers to make you take all of his load, tossing your underwear from the jeans as you quickly put it on, letting its fabric be the barrier to make him stay inside.

as you tried to walk—limping because of your hips from that much of a workout—you eyed the overgrown backyard of the house, noticing that the tree that was there on the corner of the yard was now gone as you could view the lighthouse in tandem with the cloud-covered sun setting down. the backyard door is ajar when you push it open, letting the outside wind kiss your nude body you are comfortable to show because of how tall the fences are—as it’s only for you and soobin to see. stepping out onto the patio and sitting down by the stairs leading to the garden area, you close your eyes as the breeze pushes your tears away from your face, helping you breathe the clear air that the world has allowed you to consume. your eyes stare upwards, seeing the purple that follows the orange as the sun says goodbye.

you felt something wrapped around your shoulders as soobin stepped in to sit beside you, wrapping the other end of the blanket around his shoulder until it covered your naked upper bodies. instinctively, you scoot yourself towards his warmth as he wraps his arm around your waist, letting you rest your head against his collar.

“now that i think of it, even if the earth has rings around it, they could ruin ecosystems on the surface,” he said, before clearing his throat because of how much it’s been used to let out his pleasure. the apples of your cheeks rise as you try to stop yourself from laughing.

“like, the rings can cover the sunlight and that could harm nature. trees and plants not getting their food, the temperature might be colder for the places that are covered by the shadow. haeyang’s probably gonna be a part of it and we can’t see the nature that we see now.” he finishes his tangent, turning his head to see you pecking his shoulder, making him chuckle as you both stare at the changing colors of the sky in all your bareness—to face the world with each other.

-

soobin looks at his reflection in the mirror as the hairdresser styles his head once again, brushing the hair down after it gets dried by the hair dryer. leaning in to look closer, he sees himself as a different man as the dresser behind him smiles at his reaction. he reaches for his bag to pull out a tip before going to the cashier to pay for his new hairstyle.

though the weather was hot as the sun still shone brightly in the afternoon, the hoodie he was wearing combat the blowing wind of the sea as much as he walked down the pavement by the beach. the pavement was newly fixed, yet he didn’t know much more about it as he told himself to always raise his head up—“so you don’t hurt your spine.” you said—as he eyes the coast of haeyang whilst walking towards the campus ground. his hood lifted to not let the sun burn his skin too much and to not show his new hair to the public yet.

he eyes the students walking around the campus as all of them are avoiding the sun, yet soobin embraces it even with the thick material he’s wearing. his lips rests in a natural state, his cupid’s bow lifting upwards as he scans the buildings he has gone past to find the right one he wants to visit. people who know him greet him as he goes by, making him let out a knowing nod as he only has one place in mind.

a signature set of knocks on the door later, the door opens to see you wearing a hoodie, shorts, and the golden heart necklace peeking out as you raise your eyebrows up. your hands reach out to drag him inside when you catch a glimpse of light on his hair.

“you’re hiding something,” you stated with a squint in your eyes as he takes in your room that is tidier than usual, even with the amount of clothes that are work in progresses unfinished as you were sewing them with your sewing machine. soobin’s eyes looks elsewhere but with a smirk, making you push the hood off of his head as you see the new hair style he has. a bleached blond even brighter than the sands of haeyang’s coast.

“the heck?” you replied, making a pout forming on his face as you leaned in to kiss it away while you traced your hand to his face, tilting it whatever you liked as he enjoyed your gaze on him.

“why blond?”

“you know… a new world, a new chapter. a change comes with that,” he replied, holding onto your waist as he leaned to give a peck on your nose. “oh yeah, how about your position?”

“oh that…” you give him a pout while he soothes you down your side, “i talked to my supervisor and told them i’ve already done my job until it’s done. told her about everything we know and found out about herin and she said okay to that. so, yeah. i’m free now other than finishing the clothes for the fashion show.”

“how about herin?” a chuckle came out of you as lightly pat his new hair.

“they’re gonna do a town hall meeting for that because i found out that i wasn’t the only one being blackmailed like that. but who knows after it’s done? cause i don’t. i can’t go to the town hall meetings anymore cause i’m not part of the ones making the show. i’m the participant in the show now,” you replied before you jumped, pulling yourself back as you turned towards the desk where you put your tools at. hearing the distinct familiar sound of a tin sheet, soobin sees you pulling out a container that still has the cookie’s brand name on it. but when he looks closer, he can see a thin hole at the lid.

“i got this container from elle and it made me think of an idea,” you pulled the cover off as he can see a ziplock bag of buttons, “that since we are going to save money together for the house, we can put in our contributions here. the black is mine and the white is yours. and remember: minimal 25% of your monthly income.” you step closer, covering it, “but are you sure that we can use your saving account, bun? aren’t your parents not gonna question where you get that much money?” you tilted your head as soobin reaches his hand out to rub your hair.

“my parents know we’re gonna buy that house, bun. heck, if we have bought it, they might wanna visit and stay at our house so they can hunt one for their own retirement home. it’s been my dad’s dream to go back and live in haeyang.” soobin replied, remembering the conversation you both had about the house where you both used to live. the house you plan to buy in the future.

“heck, i think my parents might help with the down payment and might take out a loan and give it to us because they’re excited that i’m staying in haeyang for a long run.” he continued as he settled himself down on your bed, pulling out his drawing pad and laptop as he is connecting it through the port.

“that might be a hassle for them,” you stated.

“it’s easy. they can take away the rest of my monthly pocket money for the rest of my college years to help pay the loan.”

“and how are you going to take care of yourself?” you replied as you spray the clothes you’re have done stitching with water so you can iron the creases out.

“money from tattoo commissions and probably gonna make lend some for me. if you don’t mind, though.” he winked as you giggled, “and if we saved money with your method, when can we buy the house?”

you hummed as you ran the hot iron down on the fabric, thinking as you got rid of the creases before you turned the clothes on the other side, “probably when we graduated.” you replied, licking your lips as you picked up the iron and clear the creases.

“and you’re gonna be there, right?” soobin’s question makes you snort, making you place the iron and turn it off as you stride towards soobin who has pulled out all his essential tools to do his projects, either tattoo designs, college projects, or maybe one he might haven’t told you.

your hand reaches his newly bleached hair as he puts his hands around your thighs, his head resting on your midriff as he tilts his head upwards to look at you. “of course i’ll be there. you’re not gonna get rid of me that easily, choi soobin.”

he reacts by kissing your tummy as you push yourself away from him, making him whine as you return to the clothes that you are hanging on the hanger and covered with the plastic covering. “how many outfits do you have to work on?” his voice reaches you.

“three more.”

“how am i gonna brainstorm then?” you hear him whine to get your attention, making you sigh as you hang the outfit on another rack you bought just for the fashion show outfits you’re going to showcase—one isn’t enough as you realized.

“just bounce your ideas on me, kay?” you turned your body around as you saw soobin with his arms leaning behind him on your bed, open wide to let you step in between his legs so he could hug you.

“three more outfits. and i’m yours forever.” you winked and he nodded, seeing you already walking to grab the fabrics you have to sew together as he opened his software to see the frames for his animation project, all based on his creation and both of your stories named ‘subterranean homesick alien‘, based on his favorite song from radiohead‘s ok computer.

yet, soobin doesn’t feel as homesick anymore, because he is building his new home with you; his fellow subterranean alien partner.

taglist: @raeyunshm @endzii23 @fluffyywoo @camipendragon @hiqhkey @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @y4wnjunz @yeehawnana @beansworldsstuff @kimipxl @stayzentiny @rebsmoonn @boba-beom @angelbythewindow @ttyunz

time wave taglist: @rein-deer-stuffs @kookthief @papiibuprofen @soobsfairy444 @yeombin @jaemacchiatto @zgkigia @strawbrinkofdeath @moaberryjjunie @fandom-kay

© writingmochi on tumblr, 2021-2024. all rights reserved

#k-labels #cultofdionysusnet #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt smut #txt angst #txt fanfic #txt x reader #soobin x reader #rsc: time wave #rsc: fm #cr: soobin #cs: txt #sc: regina #discovery: 200 #collaboration with the moon

[mouseywrites]

Ask: I'm definitely intelligent and didn't forget to specify things and I've definitely not been thinking about it but being too afraid to send another ask--

tfp ratchet if that's ok ;w; and just. random fluffy bullshit. maybe ratchet insisting on making a "proper" resting spot for a reader who lives in the base with them. and it just happens to be next to his workstation where he can keep an eye on them.

Keeping Tabs - Ratchet and Reader 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 626

As a human member of the Autobot team, you took your job very seriously. It wasn’t simple. At least, not as simple as one would think. You cared for the kids, offered a listening ear to the bots, and even gave some helpful advice of your own. True, they were giant, alien robots, but they could still use a pep talk every once in a while. Given their respective trauma from war, you understood why they needed to hear some uplifting words. Whether they would listen or not, however, was completely up to them. 

Ratchet, the medic of the team, didn’t really bother to listen to you. Well, not at first. After spending several months at base with him, he grew to tolerate your presence and words with grumbles and vents. 

It was tough work, juggling between your daily life and secret life with the Autobots. However, you managed just fine, always returning to the Cybertronian you trusted the most. Ratchet.

Although a grump, he certainly cared about you. It was easy to see. He fussed over your bad habits, but all in good faith. Whenever you pointed out his softness, he tended to scoff and roll his optics, but that was okay. He cared and so did you. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered.

Overtime, however, things changed with your living situation, and Optimus Prime offered his base as a place for you to stay. You agreed, knowing that you wouldn’t be accepted anywhere else. All of the Autobots appeared to accept your presence as a normal fact of life. 

Well, all of them, except for Ratchet. He was different.

…

“Raaatchet, why’d you wake me up?” 

You yawned, stretching out of his servo and onto the catwalk. With soft hands, you gripped onto the railing and glanced at the blinking monitors above you with tired eyes. 

Before your attention could linger on his workstation, you looked to the side. 

“What is this?”

On the platform, there was a makeshift bed. It was fluffy and covered in blankets and pillows. Not only that, but there was also a bedside lamp on a chest of drawers. You blinked, processing the sight. 

“Did you make this for me?”

Ratchet turned to you with a nod. 

“Of course.”

You gawked, releasing the railing to brush your hands against the blankets. They were warm, much warmer than you thought possible. Everything was neat and proper, containing all that you needed in order to sleep. 

“How did you…? Why did you…? Ratchet, you shouldn’t have. I mean-“

“Ep! Ep! Ep!” He dismissed you with a wave of his servo. “From now on, you will rest here.” 

Befuddled, you lifted a brow.

“But I already have my own room. What made you want to fix something new for me?” 

For a moment, the old bot paused and pondered to himself. His optics, bright and cyan, flickered away from your gaze. 

“I just…thought it wise to keep a closer tab on you.” 

Oh, so that was it. He wanted to look out for you in his own way. Well, now you couldn’t be upset. Amused, you set your hands on your hips and sent him a smirk.

“Couldn’t this have waited until morning?”

Ratchet scowled lightly. 

“Yes, well. Forgive me. I want you to test it.” He glanced at the bed. “Now, don’t mind me. Go back to sleep.” 

You nodded, your smirk softening to a smile. Slowly, you climbed under the sheets and rested your head to the pillows. You covered yourself with the blankets and sighed, welcoming the warmth.

“Comfortable?”

You beamed at him.

“Absolutely. Thanks, Ratch.”

The medic grunted, trying to hide his smile by turning the other way.

“...happy to be of assistance.”

#transformers prime #reader insert #ratchet #ratchet and reader #my reader insert fics #mouseyindulgence

[aotearoa20]

Ghost Hunter Au

Midnight Encounters

Curufin stares down at his computer as he ran over the code he was working on once again. He can’t find where he went wrong. Something obvious probably, he’s gone through all the complicated solutions. But it was coming to that time of the night when even the stress of being awake can’t even keep his eyes from closing anymore.

The hairs on the back of his neck rise and he looks up. From his little corner on the kitchen bench the whole room looks like another world. The stove light set shadows lurking in strange places and the emptiness in the room that at all other times ought to be bursting with noise seemed alien. There’s a flash of lightning and Celegorm appears in the window.

“You heading out or coming in?”

A redundant question. Celegorm likes to get up around the time Curufin heads to bed. And he’s still sheltered from the rain battering against the roof. But he asks as he always does.

There is a long silence before his reply. He’s half tempted to check if he’s sleep walking again.

“Curufin, I think I killed Amrod.”

Curufin set down his mug. That was… not what he was expecting. 

In truth he’d been up far later than normal, Celegorm also was late. The storm clouds were hiding the early morning light. There was a reason he’d been avoiding his bed and the waiting cacophony of his own thoughts.

The funeral had been less than a week ago though it feels like an age. In the quiet that came after he thinks it’s the first time anyone had said his name.

It shakes him more than he’d expected. He can’t think what to say.

“You didn’t kill A-Amrod, you saved Amras.” He tries though Celegorm shakes he’s head, “You said he was conscious and mobile right? Then it was the right decision to prioritise Amras.” A little frustration leaks into his voice. He should have made it out. He went over the numbers the stories. There had been enough time. “By all rights and logic he should have been able to get out of the car before...” 

His big brother sobs against the cold window. His breath leaves no mark on the glass. Curvo swears under his breath, he’d messed it up.

Outside the thunder rumbles and the stove lights flicker off. He runs up and places a stiff hand on his shoulder, considering calling for Maglor or Maedhros.

“Celegorm I… it’s okay,”

He’s words make no real impression. Celegorm has never cried in front of him before. He slides down to the floor and Curufin follows him down, wishing he could fix a thing beyond his skill. Celegorm speaks into Curufin’s silence.

“I think… someone wanted to hurt me and… they hurt Amrod instead. I think I was supposed to die in that car.”

Curufin takes a breath and shakes his head. He wants to deny it. It’s not true. But what words could he used to make Celgorm believe it also.

“This isn’t a conversation to have in the dark,” he mutters, getting to his feet. 

“No! No please, don’t turn on the light,” Celegorm’s hand wrapped around his wrist. His fingers were strangely cool. 

But he shrugged him off. He strides over to the wall and after a moments hesitation flicks the switch. Out of the corner of his eyes he things he sees something aweful and twisted by the window. His heart leaps in his throat as he spins back.

But he blinks and sees only Celegorm looking up at him like some sort of terrified rabbit. For a moment both are completely still. But nothing happens. The kitchen in the light is as it always ought to be  and Curufin tuts.

His moves to pick his mug off the counter, though he won’t take his eyes of his brother. It’s Atya’s magic tea, for fixing sad things. He’s older now. He knows thats not how tea works but the fact remains you can’t cry and drink at the same time.

“I don’t think anyone has it out for you,” he says and carries on over Celegorms protests, “but if they did, then they killed Amrod and they’d better watch themselves.”

He looks out the window. In the folds between the sheets of rain weaving across the garden, Curufin fancies he sees some lights. “Because when this family finds them they’ll be sorry.”

Perhaps he might have thought they looked rather uncomfortablly like eyes but somehow beside Celegorm he feels safe.

He kneels back down beside him and puts the cup in his hands.

Celegorm’s silvery eyes meet his, still heavy with sorrow but faintly bemused.

“Your being awfully kind for your usual sleep deprived self.”

“Yep,” Curufin crossed his arms, “and I’m running low on good will so you’d better cheer up fast.”

Turko chuckles and looks down at his drink. Watching him, Curufin chews his lip. A bad habit he’d rid himself of ages ago. He tuts again and fall forward into into his big brothers arms.

Celegorm grunts in surprise only just managing to manicure the tea without spilling it to wrap his arms around the boy.

“I love you.” Curufin, red faced mumbles into his unusually fair hair.

Celegorm doesn’t reply with words. He does his sort of half hum half growl that rumbles through his chest. Curvo chuckles against his shoulder and holds him tighter.

#ghost hunter au #buzzfeed au #celegorm #curufin #demon celegorm #silm au #my writing #lil fic

[twototwotoo]

This is a sheet of pot entail choices for the single cover for Gemini. I thought that 6 would be a good round number for this small of a project and is more intent than I put into previous commissions that were done solely for friends who needed art done. I went with a wide variety of looks for the simple and, all be it quite lacking, suggestion of, “So kind of a galaxy With an eye or something your free to do it how you want bit something to do with the Gemini galaxy would be good.” Now, while it is quite annoying not knowing a more refined and detailed approach, it is a joy to not be restricted, and it seemed they wanted me to do the brunt of the work for myself seeing it better to leave the artistic vision to the artist, which is quite nice.

The top two were the most close to what they asked but in two respects. The left one is an eye in the middle of a crudely drawn galaxy, as I didn’t want to was an exuberant amount of time of these hypotheticals. The right one has an eye with a galaxy within it, this one was far better made, with me wanting to exude a sense of grace and power with it, physically looking down on the stars themselves, with the name wandering in from underneath.

The second row were far more experimental, starting with the left, I made the eyes a cosmic entity in a similar feel to a far off galaxy composed entirely of eyes and maws, like a lovecraftian monstrosity slogging through reality. The one to the right of it is a set of two people based on the Gemini constellation being the Twins, so I drew it with them bringing one another in while surrounded by gazing eyes who peer at them, just as we do.

And, Finally, on the bottom most row are the most deterrent from the original basis. The bottom left is of an organic structure, I wanted to make it due to the alien nature it exhumes, its mechanical and stones appearance, well detailed by unknown hands and tendon like attachments outside that give it an uncanny organic look, blurring the line of if it is alive, with two eyes inside accompanying the title track. It is also in the appearance of the Gemini symbol that is used excessively in the previous works being used in the eyes. and to its right is a bizarre piece, ill be frank and say that I didn’t have a clue what it was going to be, but it turned out alright, depicting a weird older fellow accompanied by a Gemini orb. this one is probably my least liked.

I sent them through, but, annoyingly, they are out of class at the moment, meaning I will have to wait for them to group up to discuss, however the member I am in communications with had this to say. “with the bottom middle i like a lot of the more subtle complexities and patters within the shape as i felt like it gives it a texture to the piece and i think the use of shapes and depth is also good with that one. with the middle left i just like the monstrous them and it provides a david bowie esc thing to my mind and the top right i like the simplicity of the object but the complexities within the eye itself i also like the colours used within.

[pinkcadillaccas]

Having a breakdown about the lack of coherency in my huge Google Doc whoniverse mastersheets

#ive made one for tv #one for books #and one for big finish audios #so far #and i have just not been consistent in the categories i have recorded #and i may have to reorder my tv one (the original) and make a whole new one for monsters/aliens #ooohhhh actually that would be really good #but wait i also want to know what they appear in on the alien sheet #but that would be way too big #waiitttt no i got it #okay it will take me years but i got it #i forgot i had codes in this thing for a reason #al is talking

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 26 - The Higher Realm

The Higher realm continues. So close to the end!

Master post linked here

Enjoy!

______________________________

Time passed, but it was difficult to tell how much. Time worked so differently in the different realms. How long did we really spend trying to save one lower realm? Minutes? Decades? It felt like no time and forever. Adonis and I traveled to lower realm after lower realm, fixing the stories, stabilizing the world before heading back to the higher realm.

Some lower realms were easy, if a bit annoying, such as the high school dramas. In those I would often play the “average” new girl at a school. I would meet new people, and was supposed to go on to have romance, betrayals and coming of age realizations. I quickly realized that befriending all my supposed romantic leads instead of dating them, reconciling with my rivals instead of humiliating them, and pushing towards success all together was a much more satisfying strategy. Fortunately, graduating valedictorian with a happy and psychologically healthy group of teenagers often stabilized worlds that had been torn apart by half-baked character design or infighting between rivals.

I took calculus so many times that I could recite lessons in my sleep, but at least the worlds were saved. Despite our success, however, Adonis was often frustrated. He had his own vision of how we were to save these realms. His plans almost always involved us dating, making the high school romance “successful”.

I refused.

He had been a lot more likable since our first meeting, and I was able to consider him a close friend and ally… but I felt uncomfortable at the idea of even pretending to have a romantic relationship. It was definitely a more difficult route to stabilize the world without a romance, but I chose it every time. Adonis pouted and complained, but couldn’t argue with success, and I was successful.

Some lower realms were more difficult. In particular, zombie apocalypse stories were my least favorites. The worlds often couldn’t be stabilized until a cure was found or humanity’s survival was assured. This meant that Adonis and I sometimes spent decades within these realms, working to build armies, or teams of scientists. There was hardly ever any running water, which meant showering was few and far between.

My unwashed self was made even filthier by my absolute failure at using anything with range. Bow and arrow, guns… anything that would keep me out of the gore, I couldn’t hit even the largest of monsters. Fortunately I picked up a sword with relative ease, which allowed me to fight… but this also meant I got covered in rotten blood and guts.

I hated zombie worlds the most.

Realm after realm. We worked constantly, spending very little time in between in the higher realms. Adonis would often try to use those moments to push his ideas regarding fate and the higher realm’s story, but as soon as I rejected him, which I did every time, he would simply scowl and pull us into the next lower realm to save.

It was getting old.

“How many lower realms are there?” I asked one evening as we recovered from our latest mission, rubbing my sore shoulder where I had taken a blow in the last sci-fi alien battle. The wounds disappeared with the realm traveling, but my mind still could feel the wound, projecting the pain long after I had left that form behind.

Adonis leaned back in his chair, his grin a little too bitter to be a natural expression. “How many unfinished stories are there? Infinite, Bel. There are infinite lower realms. We will never be able to save them all. Not like this.”

“It’s not like there’s a lot of options.”

“There are options. You just don’t want to hear them.”

“What, this fate you keep talking about?” I sighed, closing my eyes, tired. “ It sounds like a terrible idea.”

“It’s not.” His voice was quiet, but the intensity shown through all the same. “It’s our duty. Everyone’s survival depends on it.”

“But what you’re saying is: we follow along some sort of script…”

“Fate.”

“…fate… here, in the higher realm. And that is somehow supposed to fix the lower realms?”

He chuckled. “You’re oversimplifying it, but pretty much. We follow our fate, and the heroes of the lower realms will find their happiness tied to ours.”

“What if they don’t want that ending? What if they don’t want that happiness?”

“Of course they do! Everyone wants a happily ever after with their destined one.” He snapped. My eyes flickered open to study his enraged expression.

“I don’t.”

“You’re selfish!”

I shrugged. “Am I? If you’re right, we submit to fate here, everyone in the lower realms gets an automatic happy ending… but most of those worlds aren’t breaking because they don’t have a happy ending. They need a wider world, different ideas… and what about the side characters, even the villains… what about their happiness?”

“They don’t matter.”

“Why not?” I raised an eyebrow. “Just because they’re the villains?”

“They’re evil.” He stood up, trying to tower over me. An intimidation tactic, one that might have worked before we’d spent countless years fighting in life-or-death battles together.

“Have you met the heroes and heroines of some of these realms?” I laughed. “They’re not much better. I don’t think these roles are as clear as you would like them to be. And I don’t think you and I having a happy ending together, and forcing a simplistic ‘and they lived happily ever after’ on all the lower realms will actually fix them. In fact…” I stood up, and he stepped back slightly at the danger in my tone. “I bet we would break them all the more. Are you really so foolish as to think that saving a universe of worlds would be so simple?”

“…” Adonis was gritting his teeth, his hands clenched so tightly the knuckles were white. But I didn’t back down. Didn’t step back. I knew he wouldn’t hit me. He wouldn’t dare step out of the role he imagined himself to be in. Wouldn’t dare cross a line that might ruin his chances at the happy ending he seemed to crave so desperately.

“…” The silence stretched on between us. We were at an impasse. He wanted to follow fate. He wanted clearly defined roles and rules to follow. And I?

I wanted freedom.

*** Soul transfer 11% complete. ***

It’s been forever since I last saw those words… I thought it had disappeared. For some reason, I felt a deep sense of relief at the glowing blue sentence. Something within me had frozen during these many trips to the lower realms, but finally it was growing again.

“The next world is waiting.” Adonis spoke up, his tone flat. I noticed an odd shifting of his gaze, a reluctance to meet my own, and felt a sense of unease.

I won’t like this next world. I cracked my knuckles and gave him a thumbs up. Well, no sense running from a challenge.

We left.

______________________________

I woke up in a luxurious canopy bed. Staring up at the fabric , I raised my arms and have a cheer.

“YES! NOT A ZOMBIE WORLD!”

On the downside, the setting appeared to be a more primitive era, medieval at best, which meant no running water, but at least I appeared to be noble or wealthy.

At least if I suffer, I’ll be clean while I do it!

“Princess?” A young woman dressed as a servant entered the room, seeming very confused. “Are you all right? I heard you yelling.”

I smiled brightly at her. “No worries. It was just a nightmare.”

She visibly relaxed. “Even so, you seem in a much better mood, if I may say so.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you haven’t broken a single thing this morning.” She, unfortunately did not seem to be kidding. “I’m so glad you’ve accepted your father’s decision.

I didn’t have my character’s memories yet. I needed to accept the mission first. In the meantime, acting too out of character could destabilize an already poorly functional world.

“I’m still… thinking it over.” I spoke up cautiously.

“It’s not so bad, your highness.” She smiled at me. “Most young girls feel a little uneasy when their father arranges their husband. But you’ll be happy. I just know it.”

Arranged marriage?

“After all, Prince Harold is reported to be a true gentleman, a might warrior, and a handsome young man!” She sighed dreamily. “Any woman would be thrilled for a chance to be his bride.”

“I’m. Sure.” I spoke through gritted teeth, the satin sheets crumpling in my grip. Adonis, when I find you, I’m going to make you regret every life decision you’ve ever made… and the ones you’ve only considered making. What kind of lower realm did you land us in? As I plotted my revenge, the mission screen popped up.

**** NEW WORLD: A Divided Kingdom****

This is a romance fantasy story featuring a prince and a princess from different kingdoms, putting aside their differences to save the world.

“I already don’t like this.” I muttered.

The Princess Alaire of the Yenlar Kingdom was a clever, independent woman, horrified at the idea of an arranged marriage. Prince Harold of the Bestion Kingdom felt differently. He fell in love at first sight and vowed to woo the young maiden. The couple was different in almost every way, and seemed destined to bicker and fight.

“Then how about we don’t get married?”

But fate had other plans…

“Of course it did!”

A terrifying beast threatened to destroy both their kingdoms, and to survive, the political marriage had to go forward. Uniting the kingdoms, and therefore their armed forces, was the only way to save their people.

However, despite the happy ending, the first book was not well received by readers and the trilogy was abandoned due to poor sales. The reason given was that the romance was “forced” and unbelievable.

Your mission is to bring a satisfying end to the story, while making ensuring the survival of both kingdoms.

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION? ****

YES? NO?

“Quick question.” I spoke quietly to the glowing words in front of me. “Do I have to marry the prince to ensure an ending?”

The kingdoms will not unite without the political marriage.

“That wasn’t what I asked. I asked if I HAVE to marry the prince. What if I can save both kingdoms without a political marriage?”

The stability of the world is all that matters.

“No lecture on the necessity of fate?”

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION? ****

YES? NO?

I grinned. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

As the words faded away, I jumped out of bed. My head spun slightly as I accepted the memories from the poor princess of the original story.

She had not been happy.

She had dreams, ambitions. The Kingdom of Yenlar allowed for women to inherit the throne, and as the firstborn she was ready to take over from her father, to rule her nation. She had spent her entire life preparing. Studying law, economics, warfare…

And all of it had meant nothing in the end.

She had begged for a political treaty. One that did not involve marriage. The Kingdom of Bestion had refused to even discuss it. They stated that there was too much distrust between the kingdoms to move forward without some sort of permanent assurance. Even the threat of annihilation from the ancient beast of legend wasn’t enough to have them reconsider. That wasn’t the full story, though.

Later she discovered that Prince Harold had seen her at a party. He had supposedly fallen in love with her at first sight, and became determined to marry her. He had learned of her plans to marry a minor noble, one who would support her position on the throne without causing an imbalance of power within the nobility. He had no chance, as far as she was concerned. The threatened destruction of their people was just the perfect opportunity to force the matter.

She had lost all power. Becoming a figurehead, a beautiful statue beside the true king, Harold. He ruled over both nations with an iron fist, treating her own people more harshly, much to the approval of his staff. She slowly became bitter and deranged, watching the destruction of the people and the nation she loved so dearly.

Beyond the end of the first book, when the realm’s story ended, she had attempted to poison him and failed. Harold had been disappointed, but felt that she still had use as a figurehead. They faked a stroke, and kept her mute and weak with poisons. A lovely doll. A perfect figurehead.

…is this a fantasy or a horror? Sheesh, no wonder the trilogy wasn’t going to sell. I shuddered, still standing awkwardly next to the beautiful bed that had belonged to a lovely young woman.

I will change this story. I spoke silently to the memories, feeling a sense of relief that didn’t belong to me as I did so.

First, let’s try to reason with Adonis. He and I had worked together in multiple realms, side by side. We were friends. We may not see eye to eye when it came to our approach towards fate and the lower realms, but he had never forced me to do something I didn’t want. He had always respected me and backed off when I said no, even if it made him unhappy.

Hopefully this time will be the same. I thought uneasily. Hopefully he will listen.

______________________________

“No.” His tone was gleeful, but his face was calm, towing with a silver goblet rather than meeting my gaze.

“Are you joking?” I leaned forward, keeping a gentle smile on my face to fool the guards and our fathers who sat on the other end of the enormous dining table.

“I’m perfectly serious, Princess Alaire. Our kingdoms face certain doom at the hands of the ancient beast. The only way to survive is to work together. We can only work together if we trust each other. The only way the Kingdom of Bestion will trust the Kingdom of Yenlar is with a marriage alliance. It’s out of my hands.”

I reached forward and took the cup from his hands, forcing him to look at me. “Why are you forcing this, Adonis? You know it didn’t work out so well for the originals.”

“Careful Princess.” His eyes glanced over at the nearby guards. “You don’t want anything to destabilize the situation further, now do you? Better to act as a proper princess should.”

“Answer the question. This plan already failed. Why do you think it will work?”

“Simple.” He leaned forward and plucked the goblet back from my hands. “We’re different. You may not want to admit it, but we have spent lifetimes at each other’s side. Growing up, going to school, facing enemies, fighting together… we could make this work. It would be a wonderful ending.”

“You know what happened to Alaire after the first book.”

“I would never do that to you.”

“But you are.” I growled, wishing I could punch him. “You are trying to make me a beautiful figurehead, just like Harold did to Alaira.”

“We would rule side by side.”

“What use is that promise, if you are already ignoring my wishes and forcing me to do this in the first place?”

He shook his head. “You have to trust me. This is the only way we can defeat the monster, and stabilize this realm. We’ll save this world. Together.” He smiled. “It’s our fate.”

I threw a plate at him, forcing him to fling himself on the floor to avoid injury. Walking out, I ignored my father’s shouts of rage. Picking up a bag I had packed ahead of time, just in case, I changed into some light armor, grabbed a sword, and headed out into the forest.

If I couldn’t win by a political alliance, I was going to find another way to save the world.

I was going monster hunting.

I searched Princess Alaira’s memories of the legends and stories, going out in a northern direction towards the area known as Death Valley.

As I marched onward, my thoughts wandered over the time I had spent since I had woken up in the Higher Realm. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed with Adonis. He might truly think that he was saving the world by insisting on going through with the marriage, but his lack of willingness to even consider other options was frustrating. He was the only person consistently by my side through every one of these worlds, someone I considered a friend, and being unable to rely on him served to make me feel all the lonelier.

My mind briefly touched on the assassin of the first realm, Liam. I had thought with his comments and actions that he had known about my mission… that he might be from the higher realm too. But no matter how much I looked for him, no matter how much I hoped to see him again, I never did.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was someone from the lower realm, and I’ll never have the chance to see him, to thank him.

I felt a sense of despair. How long can I keep doing this? Is this why Adonis preaches following our fate so much? Is he as tired of traveling, tired of the missions and the different lives? Is he just hoping to end all this?

I sighed, keeping moving. I’m not that tired, not tired enough to sacrifice my freedom. Not yet, anyways.

It took several days of traveling. Fortunately from my years of experience in zombie worlds, I was well prepared to survival in the wilderness. At least here the rivers were clean, allowing me to bathe occasionally. Finally I was at the entrance of the valley, staring up at the pillars on either side.

There were ominous words carved deeply into the stone.

Only death lies ahead.

I stared at the words silently for a few moments, and then shrugged.

“Still better than marrying Adonis.”

I moved forward.

______________________________

The valley was dark, a deep fog settled in permanently, apparently unaffected by the weather beyond its borders. Dark twisted purple trees rose all around me, their roots tearing through the earth desperate searching for nutrients. The valley was quiet, suffocating in an unsettling silence. My presence there felt like an intrusion, my instincts screaming at me to run away, to escape.

I kept moving.

There were no other signs of life. But I knew at least one other being lived here, the reason why nothing else dared to.

The Ancient beast.

There were no descriptions of it in the legends. Just that it was deadly, enough to take on entire armies. And that it was terrifying.

I feel like I should have seen something by now, if it was so large. I sighed, sitting on one of the trees, staring up at the mountain ahead of me. Shouldn’t it be easier to find an enormous beast that terrified an entire world?

…

Wait.

I looked up, struggling to see the top of the mountain in front of me.

I’m in a valley…

The mountain moved up and down, with regular motions.

There shouldn’t be a mountain here.

It was breathing.

I drew my sword, inwardly despairing. I had underestimated the sheer scale of the monster. I had thought it would be the size of a house, an elephant. Instead it towered stories above me, unimaginably large.

I was doomed.

There was a rumble as the beast in front of me shifted. I couldn’t tell the shape, just an impression of scales and spikes. Slowly, something lowered down in front of me, stretching forward in all directions, filling my vision. I saw teeth larger than my own body, the white of them contrasting with the dark fog around us. As I prepared myself for my death, an eye opened to stare at me.

It was a beautiful dark blue.

“…”

Suddenly, I felt relief. It was incomprehensible. I was standing in front of an ancient beast, enormous and terrifying, and instead of fear and dread… I felt safe.

I raised a hand, almost despite myself. “Hello there.”

The eye blinked. I comforted myself that it hadn’t eaten me yet.

“I think you look awesome. I’m Princess Alaira from the nearby kingdom of Yenlar. I actually came here to kill you, to protect my people… but now I realize that you could crush me like an ant, and that was a bad plan.”

The eye blinked twice. It seemed more confused than anything.

“I have a much better plan, if you would be willing to listen to me.” I let out a laugh, slightly startled at how… villainous it sounded.

*** Soul transfer 20% complete. ***

The creature let out a sound like thunder. I felt that it was laughing too.

______________________________

The wedding was this morning.

I was surprised as I drew near to see the party going. You would think that after I disappeared, they might have canceled or delayed it. I assumed that Adonis had felt sure that I would agree with him in the end. That I wouldn’t be able to let the world end just because I didn’t want to marry him.

Well too bad, buddy. This princess has a different plan in mind!

I could see him, standing on the elevated stage before two thrones, waiting. I couldn’t see his expression from this distance, but I imagine he was barely hiding his worry. Alaire’s father and Harold’s father were also waiting on the platform, their postures betraying their impatience.

“Let’s get this party started!” I yelled.

ROOOOOOOAAAAAAR!

The ancient beast let out a triumphant roar as he flew closer and lowered his head, letting me jump down onto the platform before landing behind me, a large, threatening mountain of a creature.

“Alaire?” The king called out, confused. “What are you doing?”

“Hello, Father.” I also nodded to Adonis, who stared back.

“What is this?”

“Your daughter is a witch!” The King of Bestion shouted, drawing his ceremonial sword. “She betrayed us!”

“Hold on, father.” Adonis held out his hand, stopping his attack. “I’m sure it’s not what it looks like.”

I grinned.

“Nope. It’s exactly what it looks like. I’ve teamed up with the Ancient being. We’re friends now.” I gestured at the monster high above us, who let out a grim chuckle, shaking the ground. “So now I make the rules, got it?”

“…”

“I’ll take everyone’s stunned silence as happy agreement! Now, first rule: Wedding canceled.”

“What?”

“What?”

“You can’t do this!”

The three other royals on stage shouted simultaneously. I simply pointed again at the enormous creature.

“I can do whatever I want. The big scary monster behind me says so. Next, the kingdom of Bestion will surrender to me, as will the kingdom of Yenlar.”

“You want to rule the world?” Adonis’s gaze was… disappointed. I grinned shamelessly. “Nope. But here’s the thing: Our kingdoms face certain doom at the hands of the ancient beast. The only way to survive is to convince the monster not to kill us. The monster only trusts me. So I have to rule both kingdoms.” I shrugged. “It’s out of my hands.”

I threw his words from earlier back at him, and felt satisfied as he winced in recognition.

“We… surrender.” His words were quiet, defeated.

“You unruly child!” My father tried to shout, but a roar from the monster above us silenced him. He quickly surrendered too. I accepted both surrenders, quickly organizing the meetings to bring our governments together under one rule. Fortunately, the princess’s years of study served me well, guiding me smoothly through the process.

______________________________

I had one more confrontation with Adonis, the night before the coronation. He was escorted to my rooms by guards, saying he had a request. I hesitated briefly, but allowed him in, waving the guards behind the door so we could speak freely.

“What was that?” He shouted as soon as they had left.

I stayed sitting, forcing myself to be calm. “I fixed the story.”

“You ruined everything! Even if it stabilizes this world, it will ruin it in the long run.”

“Says you.”

“Trust me.” He threw up his hands as he paced back and forth. “Everything will go a lot smoother if you STOP CHANGING THE STORY.”

“I thought that was why we were here, though?” I sighed, leaning back in my chair and cleaning my nails with a blade. “To fix the lower realms, to save these worlds? That requires change, right?”

He paused in his movements, glaring at me. “Stop acting stupid. These worlds are broken because they didn’t follow the rules. We have to follow them perfectly.”

“I don’t want to though.” I shuddered. “No offense, but if the story is going to require us to have a romantic relationship, I’m finding an alternate solution.”

“That’s what the story requires, you have your role to play. You know the consequences of not playing the right part.”

I sighed. “No, there’s always different paths to take. You’re a good friend, and I’m glad to have you by my side, but that’s different than love.”

“…”

“You clearly don’t love me either, so why are you making such a fuss about this? As long as we complete what we came here to do, that’s all that matters, right?”

“…”

“Right?”

Adonis stepped closer to me, his atmosphere slightly threatening. “Why are you so different from what you are supposed to be?”

“What are you…?”

“Why can’t you just accept.”

His hand grabbed my wrist, the grip painful.

“your.”

He pulled me closer until our faces were inches apart. His bright blue eyes were blazing with anger as they stared into my own.

“fate.”

Letting me go, he walked away, putting some distance between us, before turning back to face me.

“This lower realm is stabilized. We should return.” His smile was cold. “The next mission is a little different from our previous ones. We’ll talk about it later.”

“…”

“And next time…?” He laughed, a bitter sound. “You’ll play your part whether you want to or not.”

THUD.

The blade in my hand threw through the air, stabbing into the wall inches from his face. I smiled cheerfully as he looked back at me, shocked.

“Try touching me again, and I’ll cut off something you’ll miss. We’ll discuss missions and roles again in the higher realm, but for now?” I rang a bell and guards came in, escorting him out. “I have a coronation to plan.”

______________________________

My coronation was held outside so that the Ancient beast could stand behind me. It seemed cheerful, letting out victorious roars and swaying from side to side. The people cheered as well, seeming a lot happier than I expected them to be. I guess they’re relieved that they won’t be eaten by the giant monster? I wondered idly how I was going to incorporate the creature into the day to day life of a monarch. For an odd reason I had very little doubt that the monster would stick around.

However, all my plans came to nothing. As the crown was placed on my head, bright blue words formed in the air in front of me:

100% complete.

**** You have finished the mission! ****

It was time to go.

At little sad, I looked up at the ancient monster above me. “Thank you, friend for your help. I wish I could stay with you longer.”

A mournful cry echoed through the world. It seemed to understand that I was leaving. Before I could say anything more to reassure it, the world around me shimmered and disappeared.

Only to reveal a furious Adonis standing in front of me.

“Happy now, Your Majesty?” He sneered.

“Oof, someone’s still a little angry that I used an ancient monster conquer the world. Believe it or not, I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. But you know why I did what I did. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”

I walked away, feeling his glare on my back long after I was out of sight.

______________________________

When I woke up, I realized that I couldn't move.

I panicked, struggling to move my arms and legs, only managing to turn my head slightly. Enough to see Adonis’s smug expression as he sat by my bed.

“It’s time for our story to progress, Bel.” His smile was strange, twisted. I couldn’t talk back, I shook my head slightly side to side.

“I’m the hero, you are the heroine. If the relationship between us can’t be advanced by working together, than it must be forged in adversity." He reached down and picked me up, carrying me out of the small cottage I had arranged for myself and into the castle courtyard. Whatever drug he had injected me with was slowly wearing off, and I struggled in his arms, finally able to shout.

“Put me down!”

To my surprise he did, and although I struggled to stay upright, I kept my balance and glared at him.

“What are you planning?”

He sighed quietly. “I’m tired of always being the one to compromise. It’s time for you to make a sacrifice, Bel. I’ve avoided this so far, worried that progressing our story this way would kill you, but it seems that it is our fate that we take this risk. It’s… unfortunate. I do very much hope you don’t die.” He paused, trying to smile at me. “Don’t worry. It’s only temporary. I’ll come and rescue you soon.”

“A sacrifice?” I felt cold, even as I stood in the warm afternoon sun. My thoughts were slow to form, possibly a side effect of the medication. “Why?”

He shrugged. “There’s an order to everything. Rules. Law. They are all that stand between us and pure chaos. No one can ignore them. Not you. Not even me.”

“Then sacrifice yourself, asshole! Why send me?”

He shrugged. “It’s your role to play, not mine. Your fate.”

“Screw fate! I don’t care if you say it’s temporary or not! Friends don’t sacrifice friends!” I was furious, still weak and feeling helpless.

His hand reached out and brushed my cheek, the touch freezing my skin. I wanted to move away but I could still barely move, only managing to glare at him. “Don’t look at me with those eyes. It’s not my fault. If you want to blame anyone, blame the story.”

“Ad…”

“Sorry, you must accept your fate.” I felt a pinch in my arm, the stick of a needle as he injected something into the muscle. Immediately darkness overwhelmed me.

“We all do.”

Everything faded into darkness.

______________________________

When I woke up, I was in a strange world, surrounded by forest. I lay on my back, still feeling weak, fury coursing through my veins.

Adonis and I had worked well together, despite arguing multiple times in the past. But now… any goodwill I had towards him was gone. He had betrayed me. Knocked me out and sent me to somewhere dangerous, somewhere I could be killed, just to follow his precious fate. To get the story he wanted.

“Are you lost?

I looked over at the source of the voice. It was a tall young man with dark hair, wearing grey, non-descript clothing. He kneeled down next to me, and I found myself staring into dark blue eyes.

“Seems a good description for my current situation.” I smiled despite the dizziness. “Nice to meet you, Stranger.”

He grinned, reaching out a hand to help me up. “Call me Liam.”

Liam? Could he be…?

“…Nice to meet you, Liam.” I laughed. “Or should I say: nice to see you again?”

*** Soul transfer 25% complete. ***

#writing #please fix the story #fantasy #fate #next part will be fun #world hopping

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Forty Nine

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 5.6k+

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Injections, Moments of PTSD and Smut 🔞

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Diana Prince, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias, Kara Danvers x OC

This Part: J'onn has followed Emma back to the Batcave.

Cannot believe we are sooooo close. And how is the next part number 50?! I also added my words up and the fic is over 250k words! 🙈

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @inquisitive-nix, @checkingoutforheroes

“And what drink can I get for you J’onn?” Alfred asks kindly.

“Water will be fine.” J’onn responds coolly, his eyes are focused on Emma, curled up on the bed.

“Sure you don’t want anything stronger J’onn?” Kate asks as she taps away on her tablet. But J’onn shakes his head and Alfred leaves the room.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back.” Bruce says as he backs away towards the door before also exiting the room.

J’onn nods and watches Bruce go. He turns back to the tightly coiled up Emma on the bed.

“Diana? Help me move her please.” Kate asks the hero and the pair gently uncoil the blonde and straighten her out on the bed. J’onn swallows at the evident pain etched on Emma’s face.

They start changing Emma out of her sweaty clothes and into clean, fresh sweatpants and a t-shirt. J’onn silently watches while he closely studies Emma’s body. His stomach slowly starts to sink at how frail Emma is looking. Her hair is limp and doesn’t have the shine and glow it normally does. That he can see her ribs poking through, despite her toned body. For a moment J’onn closes his eyes to keep his emotions in check.

The past seven months have not been easy. For anyone. A day has not gone by where J’onn hasn’t thought about Emma and worried about her wellbeing, despite the many emails and messages she sends to Eliza.

“J’onn?” Alfred’s voice makes J’onn open his eyes and takes the bottle of water from the tray Alfred was holding. He drinks half of it before placing it on a nearby dresser, taking note of Lena’s portal watch. Something Emma has used to purposefully evade them.

A sheet has now been draped over Emma’s body and Kate places a cannula up Emma’s nose to help her breath better. She picks up her tablet and starts inputting the data from the machines.

J’onn slowly approaches the bottom of Emma’s bed and his stomach sinks even further when he analyses Emma’s face. Her cheekbones are more defined and sharp. Her eyes are sunken in making the skin under her eyes appear dark and hollow.

J’onn tightly crosses his arms over his chest as he waits for Bruce’s return. Diana changes back into her regular clothes and sits by Emma’s side. J’onn observes the brunette lovingly placing her hand over Emma’s and tenderly holds it.

“J’onn.” Bruce’s voice says behind him. J’onn turns and momentarily clenches his jaw.

“How long has she been here?” J’onn asks with clear tension in his face.

“Not long and I was just about to call you.” Bruce holds his hands up in a downward motion, as if trying to pacify the Martian.

Diana whips her head towards Bruce and narrows her eyes at him.

“Diana, don’t give me that look.” Bruce says firmly, making Diana clench her jaw and focus back on her girlfriend. “She is-” Bruce pauses and focuses on the alien in front of him. “Lets sit.” Bruce motions to the sofa and starts to walk over.

“I’m happy standing thanks.” J’onn says without moving.

“Okay.” Bruce moves back to J’onn and stands openly in front of him. “There is no easy way to say this, but we believe that Emma’s powers are killing her.”

J’onn immediately spins around to Emma and approaches her side. “No.” He takes her other hand and tenderly squeezes it. “You must be mistaken?”

Kate holds out her tablet to show him the data. “There is a chance we could be. But all our data so far indicates that Emma’s body is breaking down. That it is unable to cope with the strain of the mutation.” Kate says mournfully.

J’onn studies the tablet and juts his jaw to the side. “How soon can you get your helicopter ready to take us to National City?” He starts approaching Bruce to come up with a plan to get Emma home.

“No! J’onn!” Diana stands quickly. “Emma isn’t ready to go back.”

“What if she doesn’t have that much time left and it’s being wasted here?” J’onn asks harshly.

“J’onn I understand-” Bruce starts to say but J’onn quickly interrupts him.

“How can you possibly understand? Emma is like a daughter to me, my own flesh and blood. Kara, Sam and I spent days searching for her thinking she had been taken!” J’onn voice rises with his anger, not realising Emma was starting to stir. “Only for her to-”

‘J’onn?’

He quickly spins back around and rushes over to Emma’s side. “I’m here, I got you.” He takes her hand and gently strokes her head, watching as her dull, hazel green eyes slowly open. “Hey princess.”

Emma raises an eyebrow at him. ‘You haven’t called me that since I was a child.’

“I should never have stopped.”

Emma smiles weakly up at him. ‘How did you find me?’

“After I heard your thoughts, I quickly placed a tracker on your suit.” J’onn explains and perches on the edge of the bed.

“But the Batcave’s cloaking system should have stopped the signal from reaching you.” Bruce says in disbelief, a frown spreading across his face. Kate gives him an impressed gaze.

“Winn and Brainy have been working on new, more advanced scanning systems to try and find the Shadows.” J’onn explains and Brcue nods in understanding. “It may be worth you getting in touch with them.”

Suddenly he hears Emma let out a whimper in her mind and a harsh outtake of breath.

“Em?” Kate approaches the bed and studies the blonde’s face, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Diana also stands, looking worriedly down at her girlfriend and keeps a hold of Emma’s hand.

‘My head, pain.’ Emma’s mind moans out and she breathes heavily in and out of her nose. Trying to get as much oxygen into her.

“She’s saying her head hurts.” J’onn explains and Kate immediately goes to grab some pain relief.

“How?” Diana frowns deeply and looks between Emma and J’onn.

“Telepathy” J’onn explains and Kate injects a kryptonite needle into Emma. J’onn’s eyes widen as Emma’s veins glow a fluorescent gold around her arm.

‘Argh!’ Emma’s mind screams out and she jolts sharply.

“You’re hurting her!” J’onn goes to stop Kate but Diana grabs his arm, holding him back.

“It’s morphine, it will help.” Kate pushes the plunger down, injecting Emma with the painkillers.

‘J’onn, it’s okay.’ Emma’s mind whimpers out as she clenches her jaw. But as soon as Kate takes the needle out and disposes of it, Emma is able to relax and starts feeling the warm effects of the drug. ‘Can you sit me up?’

J’onn reaches for the controls on the bed and raises it so Emma is fully propped up.

“Here.” Kate gets him a chair and he sits by Emma’s side.

Emma holds out her hand and motions for his. He takes hers and gently squeezes.

‘What have you been told?’ Emma thinks as she studies his face. He tries to keep his face neutral, but Emma can see the troubled emotions swirling in his eyes.

“That you have powers from the serum-” J’onn clears his throat as it feels like it's closing up. “And that your powers are killing you.”

Emma takes a deep breath and watches the emotions surface in J’onn face. His eyes slowly filling with tears.

“Look, I understand why you left. I understand that you had your heart broken from the moment the attack started until-” J’onn stops, lowers his head and wipes his nose. “All you need to know right now.” J’onn lifts his head and gazes at his daughter. “Is that we all miss you so much and we need you back at home.”

Emma narrows her eyes slightly. ‘What’s changed? What if I come back and the same thing happens? I need to find a new place and then what?’

J’onn takes a deep breath and sits closer to Emma. “I cannot speak for everyone else, but I am sorry for not recognising your pain. I became so focused on finding those responsible that I didn’t see you were struggling and I regret that every day.”

‘I can’t.’

“Why? We all love you so much and I know Kara and Alex are suffering as well.”

Emma sniffs, seeing the pain within his eyes hurts her deeply. ‘I’m sor-’

“No, don’t finish that thought.” J’onn reaches out and cups her cheek. ‘But you need to come home-”

Emma squirms at the thought and shakes her head. Her breathing becomes more erratic, the pain slowly creeps back in, despite the drugs.

“Have Winn and Brainy figure out what's going on, to save you.” J’onn continues to try and persuade Emma.

‘I’m not ready.’ Emma’s mind weakly protests, her eyebrows scrunch together.

“Emma. You’ve been gone for over seven months. Your family needs you and I know you need them.”

Emma squirms again, her neck and head rolling forward and to the side as a tug of war battles within her mind. She longs to go back and be with her family, to feel safe. But is that all a lie? What if they think of her the same way Lena does? That she’s a distraction. Without her voice, she is nothing.

“Emma?” Diana stands and sits on the edge of the bed. “J’onn, that’s enough.” Diana gives the alien a heavy glare before focusing on her girlfriend again. “It’s okay Emma, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“If not now then when?” J’onn answers back, his frustration breaking through his walls as his focus shifts to Diana and he misses Emma’s internal thoughts.

“When she is ready!” Diana snaps at him.

“She may never be ready!” J’onn stands and Diana copies him.

Neither see Emma start to go frigid until her hands fly up to her eyes and she bends forward.

“Emma?!” Diana panics and reaches for her shoulder and back.

‘Argh it hurts! Please make it stop!’

“What hurts?” J’onn asks quickly, hating seeing Emma in such pain.

‘My eyes- bout to explode.’

“Her eyes feel like they are about to explode.”

“Let me see.” Bruce moves forward and gets a torch to shine into them.

But Emma isn’t removing her hands and starts rocking due to the pain.

“Emma, lower your hands.” Kate tries to calmly say while the heart monitors start frantically beeping. But Emma doesn’t respond.

Diana grabs Emma’s arms and focuses them down. Revealing a glowing gold light behind Emma’s eyelids and blood starts dripping from her nose.

“Heat vision.” Kate diagnoses as Emma jolts and jerks on the bed. Her screams of pain are heard by J’onn, who watches in horror.

“Emma please, you need to calm down.” Diana tries to soothe her girlfriend, but recognises she is already too far gone as Emma continues to squirm and jolt. The machines incessantly bleep around them.

Suddenly Bruce stabs Emma’s arm with a kryptonite needle and after a few moments her body becomes slack against Diana’s.

“What did you do?” J’onn asks harshly.

“Put her under, her heart rate was getting dangerously high.” Bruce explains coolly as he goes to dispose of the needle. “If we keep this up I’m going to have to make more of these.”

“Was that really necessary?” Diana says through tears as she holds a limp Emma close to her. The glowing around Emma’s sunken eyelids immediately fades and Kate hands her a wet cloth to wipe the blood from Emma’s face.

“Yes it was, there is no knowing what would happen if she uses her heat vision.” Bruce says with genuine sadness as his eyes flicker to the unconscious blonde.

“I’m sorry.” J’onn rubs his forehead as he flops back into the chair. “Seeing her again and the way she is. I just want her home. Her Mother wants her home, everyone does. It hasn’t been easy.”

“But that isn’t yours or anyone else’s decision to make.” Diana says softly while lowering Emma gently back down onto the bed.

J’onn nods and looks up at Bruce who is studying the recent data on his tablet. “Would you mind if I bring Emma’s therapist here? He may be able to help Emma in a way none of us can.”

“If it helps her, sure.”

“He may bring his dog too.” J’onn adds as he walks to a chest of drawers to get Lena’s portal watch.

“Is the dog trained?”

“Yes, she’s a therapy dog.”

“I meant more for her ah, business, but sure.”

J’onn nods. “If Emma wakes up before I get back, please tell her and if she decides not to see Alistiar then we can reschedule.”

“Shouldn’t you wait until she wakes up to see what she wants?” Kate asks with a raised eyebrow.

“What if we are running out of time?” He asks and disappears in a purple flash.

The trio are quiet for a moment and Bruce leaves to go to his office. Diana collapses back into the chair and raises a hand to her mouth, feeling like her emotions were going to burst out at any moment.

“You can cry, you know.” Kate says gently and places a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“I just-” Diana sniffs and tears fill her eyes. “How did I not see this?” Diana asks as she berates herself. “If I had then none of this would be-”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Kate grabs another chair and faces Diana. “We can play the what if game all we want. What if Kara and Alex hadn’t been taken by the Shadows on that day? What if Emma was able to call for help and escape? What if Lena had stayed with Emma? What if, what if, what if.” Kate reaches out and takes the demigod’s hand. “What we do have, is right now. We cannot focus on the past or worry about the future but stay right now in the present.”

Diana shakily inhales and nods.

“What does Emma need right now?” Kate and Diana glance over at the sleeping blonde. “And, maybe, healing that rift between Emma and her family, no matter how much she is trying to run from the conflict, is what Emma needs right now. The love of her sisters, her Mom.”

“Maybe.” Diana whispers brokenily.

-- -- --

A short time passes and Emma starts to stir again.

“Looks like we’ll have to inject a larger quantity if we need her under for longer.” She hears Kate mutter and tap on her tablet.

“Astéri? Emma? Can you hear me?”

Emma feels Diana squeeze her hand and she squeezes back.

“Oh thank the gods.” Diana’s voice hitches, making Emma frown and slowly open her eyes. “Hi.” Diana whispers and lovingly strokes Emma’s hair.

Emma smiles sluggishly and rubs her head closer into Diana’s hand.

“Just to let you know, J’onn went to get Alistair.”

Emma momentarily freezes and leans back to look at Diana’s face.

“They will leave if you want them to.” Diana says reassuringly as she continues to play with Emma’s hair. “But I think it will do you good to see him.”

Emma huffs out a small breath but nods.

“Okay, I’ll go get them.” Diana moves away but Emma holds onto her hand. “What?”

Emma points at her own, slightly chapped lips and tilts her head.

“Hmm, how could I forget.” Diana smirks and slowly leans in. They kiss and Diana closes her eyes, for a moment, like she can just pretend that everything is fine and she is back in Santorini.

But when she opens them, that idealist life is gone again.

“I’ll be right back.” She stands and hands Emma a bottle of water before going to find J’onn and Alistair.

Emma watches her go and rests her head back against the bed. Her body feels impossibly weak but the pain has, thankfully, lessened. She sips the water and silently hums as the cool liquid moistens her parched throat.

Putting the lid back on, her eyes momentarily flutter shut until she picks up three sets of footsteps and… some paws?

Immediately Emma opens her eyes again and sits up further. A smile breaks across her face when the door opens and Lily trots in beside Alistair.

The snowy, white German Shepherd barks happily and her tail wags when she sees Emma.

‘Lily!’ Emma’s mind yells out and she pats the bed. Immediately Lily rushes over and uses the chair to climb up. Emma voicelessly laughs when Lily attacks her face with sloppy kisses with the lick of her tongue.

“It’s good to hear you laugh.” Alistair comments as he sits to Emma’s right. “And it’s good to see you.”

Emma turns her head and focuses on the ginger headed alien. Still wearing his tweed jackets and brown oval glasses. His blue eyes sparkle kindly back at her. ‘It’s good to see you too.’

Immediately Lily settles between her legs and rests her head on Emma’s stomach.

“Is Lily okay there?”

Emma nods and starts stroking her head.

J’onn steps forward, drawing Emma’s focus to him. “May I just say, I wanted to apologise for how strongly I approached things earlier. It was wrong of me too and I’m sorry.”

‘It’s okay J’onn.’ Emma thinks and smiles reassuringly at him.

“Alright, I’ll be with Diana if you need me.”

Emma nods and Diana leans down to place a tender kiss on her lips before stroking Lily’s head and leaving with J’onn.

Emma takes a big, deep, intake of breath and turns to focus back on Alistair. Her stomach starts fluttering with butterflies at what could be brought up. His blue eyes seemingly analysing her intently.

“J’onn brought me up to speed on what is going on, but that is from his understanding. May I see yours?”

Emma nods and the past seven months play through her mind, her pain, her joy when she was in London. How Robyn helped drag her out of the hole she was in and how music helped her further.

At times Lily boops her snout against Emma’s hand whenever she senses Emma in moments of distress.

Especially when Emma relives the attack on Waterloo Bridge.

“That must have been very frightening for you?”

Emma nods but her memories continue to play out when she arrives in Paris and meets Diana. She does skip the intimate moments with Diana but is otherwise fully open to the therapist.

“Hmm, seems like Diana has helped you a lot.”

Emma nods and keeps running her fingers through Lily’s fur.

“Your anxious Emma, why?”

‘If I go back to NC, what if Diana won’t come with me? Or things don’t work out? What if they disapprove or-’

“Or?”

Emma can’t help but have a memory of Lena come into her mind. Of a time when things hadn’t fallen apart, where Emma woke up before her ex and gazed lovingly at her sleeping face, feeling her own heart melt at the sight of Lena.

“You still love her?”

‘I think a part of me always will.’ Emma admits mournfully. ‘But that doesn’t matter anymore.’

“Why not?”

‘She made her feelings about me quite clear.’ Emma momentarily closes her eyes, the pain, the memory of the break up surges through her mind. A high whine emits from Lily and she nuzzles Emma’s hand.

“How do you feel about seeing her again?”

Immediately Emma looks away and her face scrunches up with emotion. ‘I don’t know.’ Her mind whispers with uncertainty.

“What about your sisters? My colleagues have told me they continue to do well in their treatment.”

‘They are?’ Emma snaps her head to Alistair and opens her eyes.

“Yes. I’m sorry I cannot disclose anymore due to patient confidentiality, however, by my understanding, they have been sending video diaries to your old email address.” Alistair leans forward and feels the confusion radiate off the blonde. “Once your Mom told them you were no longer using it, my colleagues thought it could be healing for your sisters to speak out their pain, their memories and have a way to send it. You do not need to watch them. You can delete them right away if you have too, or forget that email address altogether. This is just a tool for them to use in their own journey but you also may benefit from watching them. The choice is yours, okay?”

Emma nods her understanding. Feeling a part of her wants to look immediately and another part of her never wants to look.

“Can you explain to me your hesitation to go back to National City?”

Emma pauses for a moment as she thinks of her answer. Her emotional pain suddenly pushes forward and makes her squirm.

“It’s okay Emma, allow yourself to feel it.”

She takes a shaky deep breath and tears start filling her eyes. She remembers the times she would have with her sisters, how they would hold each other while watching a movie but would keep Emma at arms length in terms of opening up to her. How their communications never got to the deep level they would so often have. How they solely focused on chasing the Shadows, making Emma feel like an afterthought through canceled sister nights or lunches. How their relationships also got in the way, and though Emma is so happy for them, it hurts being left behind.

“It’s okay Emma. Breathe through it.”

Emma remembers her breathing exercises and purposely calms her breathing, allowing the tears that have built up, to finally fall. Lily immediately moves to lie more on Emma’s body and rests her head on Emma’s shoulder. Giving her the physical comfort and pressure she needs in that moment.

‘I miss them so much.’ Emma’s mind weeps out. ‘I miss them every day and I want to tell them everything that’s happened and hug them and just-’

Emma lifts a hand to her pounding head as her shoulders arch slightly off the bed.

Alistair stands and stares down at her as he assesses what he is witnessing while feeling her pain.

“Interesting.” He mutters and his head tilts. “Emma, this pain you are feeling in your head and in your eyes. Does it appear when you feel strong emotions?”

‘Yes.’

“Mainly positive or negative or a bit of both?”

‘Mainly negative.’

“Do you mind if I search your mind for these moments? To better understand what is going on? I’m warning you that it will be painful.”

Emma shakes her head and lets out a voiceless groan of pain.

Alistair places his hands on either side of Emma’s temples and closes his eyes.

Emma jolts as she feels his presence go through her mind. She relives every moment her powers have flared, even the intimate moments with both Lena and Diana when the headboards cracked and the bed broke. Her escape from the DEO, the de-stress room, Waterloo Bridge, the attack on L-Corp.

On and on the memories flash past her, some rewind and fast forward as Alistair processes them.

Lily barks loudly, drawing Alistair out of her mind and Emma’s head falls heavily back against the bed.

Blood is dripping from her nose and Alistair immediately gets a tissue to stem the flow.

“I’m sorry.”

‘Not worry.’ Emma’s mind breathes out brokenily and moves her head forward. But finds the nose bleed has already stopped. ‘Did you find out anything?’

“Possibly. But I will leave you to rest. Do you have any further questions?”

‘No… Well, am I ready to go home?’

“I’m afraid only you can answer that.” Alistair says with a small smile and Emma silently huffs. “But, sometimes, when we are at a crossroads of standing on the ledge, all we need to do, is let go.”

Emma lets Alistair’s words sink in and nods.

“I just need to talk with Mr Wayne and J’onn. Lily, stay with Emma.”

Lily lifts her head when she hears her name and nods, as if understanding the command, settling back down on Emma.

Alistair quickly leaves the room and goes down the corridor to where the rest of the group are.

“How is she?” Diana immediately stands, her face full of worry.

But Alistair ignores Diana’s question and focuses on Bruce and Diana. “I think your theory may be incorrect.”

-- -- --

Emma continues to stroke Lily’s fur and smiles when she would randomly lick her cheek.

‘Hmm, maybe I should get a dog.’ Emma thinks to herself.

“Maybe you should.” J’onn’s voice makes her jump and Lily turns to growl at the intruder until Emma soothes her back down.

“May I sit here?” J’onn motions at the chair Alistair had sat in and Emma nods. “Emma, I wanted to apologise again for how strongly I tried to push you earlier-”

‘It’s okay-’ Emma interrupts but J’onn holds his hand up.

“No, please let me finish. I responded poorly, even though Alistair tells me it was natural the way I did. I want to be better for you. And of course I would very much like you to come home, but it is entirely your decision.”

‘Thank you J’onn.’

“You're very welcome.”

‘Can you help get Lily off me? I want to hug you.’

“Lily, off.” J’onn orders and Lily responds right away.

Emma stiffly sits up and removes the nose cannula. J’onn helps her slowly get to her feet.

“There we go.” J’onn smiles and then lovingly wraps his arms around her. “Have you grown? I swear your head was lower down.”

Emma shrugs, just enjoying the papa bear hug J’onn is giving her. They stay like that for a while until Diana and Alistair re-enter the room.

J’onn kisses Emma’s cheek but halts when he compares her height again. “I swear you were never this tall.”

Emma shrugs again and smiles.

“Why? How tall were you before?” Diana asks, confused by J’onn’s comment.

“Five foot seven, same as Alex.”

“Not by our calculations.” Kate says while unlocking her tablet. “You are five foot ten, more near eleven.”

“No way!” Emma signs in disbelief.

“Well I’m five foot eleven.” Diana says casually and stands next to Emma. “And you are almost as tall as me.”

“Alex is not going to like that.” Emma signs with a grin.

“Why?” Diana asks with a tilt of her head.

“She’ll be the shortest sister. I’ll actually be taller than Kara. How did I not notice?”

“You had a lot going on.” Alistair tries to reassure her.

“Explains why you felt like you were being stretched.” Bruce adds and Kate nods along.

‘Don’t tell anyone.’ Emma threatens J’onn with a quirk of her eyebrow.

“I won’t.” J’onn gives her a small smile and hugs her again. “This isn’t goodbye, more a, see you later.”

‘See you later.’ Emma’s mind calls out and waves the trio off as they disappear in a purple flash.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you borrow one of my portal watches.” Bruce says before leaving the room and Emma spins around to the dresser to realise Lena’s portal watch is gone.

‘Son of a-

-- -- --

The days go by quietly and once Bruce feels happy, he allows Diana to take Emma back to Paris. He gives Emma strict instructions to not use her powers in any circumstance and to take note of how she feels if she has any flare ups. He also makes her some lead lined glasses, like Kara’s but a black, thick frame to help with the headaches and over exposure.

When the couple portal into Diana’s apartment, Emma breathes in deeply.

It’s familiar, but it doesn’t feel completely like home.

The next morning Emma wakes up in Diana’s arms and snuggles backwards into her.

“Hmm, good morning Astéri.” Diana’s voice whispers deeply as she kisses the back of Emma’s head.

Emma turns her head and connects her lips with Diana’s. The kiss gradually gets more and more heated and Emma moves her body around to face her girlfriend. The pair start slowly grinding against each other. Their love making has become even more passionate and tender since Emma’s collapse. Something Emma does not mind at all.

Hours later and after having a long sex session in the bath. Emma sits on the sofa and listens through the arrangement of ‘Keep Climbing’ she’s recorded as a demo. All that is needed now is the vocals, but Emma does not want to disturb Robyn while she is still on tour.

Emma sighs deeply and taps the edges of her MacBook Pro. The temptation to watch some of her sisters’ videos is growing by the hour.

Making her mind up Emma opens her emails and clicks on her old email address. Soon thousands of messages pop up. All from different people and representatives. It starts to become very overwhelming until Emma has the idea to only show her sisters’ emails. But even then the emails are numbered over four hundred.

Emma reads the headings of each. Most are titled with the days or entry level but Emma’s eyes fall on a few that have occasions in them. The main one that catches Emma’s attention is from Alex, titled, ‘I’m engaged!’

Slowly she moves her finger across the trackpad and double clicks on the video.

She grabs a pillow to hold as Alex’s upper body appears on the screen.

“Hey Peanut. Happy Thanksgiving for whenever you see this.” Alex gives the camera a small, hesitant smile. “So, I don’t know if you saw Mom’s email or not but, surprise!” Alex holds up her left hand and shows the camera her engagement ring. Tears fill the redhead’s eyes and Alex sniffs. “Honestly I was thinking of asking her but she beat me to it.” Alex lowers her hand and glances down at the ring. Sucking in her lips as if trying to keep her emotions in check. “I mean, I wanted to get Sam a ring before you left.” She gazes back up at the camera, as if looking right at Emma. “And the reason I didn’t was because I wanted you there. Please don’t feel guilty about that, I just-” Alex runs a hand through her hair and wipes the tears that have rolled down her face. “I just want you here to celebrate with me, you know.” Alex gazes up at the ceiling to try and stop herself from crying further. But it doesn’t help. “I mean, will you be here for the wedding? Will you come? Please? I can’t imagine getting married without you by my side. Like the many times we played with our dolls and put on grand weddings for them, we were never apart and I-” Alex lowers her head and sniffs loudly. “Sorry.” Alex wipes her face and tries to compose herself. But Emma can see the utter pain Alex is bearing when she looks back up at the camera. “I’m thinking of wearing a dress, I initially want to wear a suit but Sam is bringing me around the idea of a dress. I have no idea what kind yet and I’m dreading going to the bridal store. Mom’s gonna see if she can book Sam and I in at Treyvon’s.” Alex grins and chuckles as she wipes the tears away again. “Think you can get us a discount?” Alex takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I hope you are okay and-” Alex pauses and bites the inside of her lip. “I hope to hear or see you soon. I miss you Em, so, so much and I love you even more.” Alex’s face scrunches up as she reaches over to stop the video.

As soon as it ends Emma bursts into tears and rips her glasses off to rub her eyes. She rocks back and forth as she voicelessly sobs. Soon quick, heavy footfalls race to her and instantly Diana picks her up to position Emma on her lap. She doesn’t say anything but holds Emma close and comforts her as she weeps.

Eventually Emma calms down enough to stop crying and just nuzzles her head into the crook of Diana’s neck. .

“Astéri? Are you alright?” Diana asks and Emma slowly sits up from Diana’s wet shoulder. “Oh Em.” Diana reaches over for a tissue and gently wipes Emma’s face.

“Did you hear?”

“I heard the start, but not all. I wanted to give you your privacy.”

Emma nods and rests her head back down on Diana’s shoulder. Diana gently hums and rubs soothing circles on Emma’s back.

Eventually Emma sits back up again and signs. “Pass me my Mac. I need to send some emails.”

-- -- --

A few days later

Emma portals into a storage area surrounded by wedding dresses. A squeal immediately greets her.

“Oh my god it's really you!” A woman dressed in black gapes at her.

Emma smiles and nods. She pushes some of her hair behind her ear and momentarily knocks the face modifier on her helix.

“Please follow me and I will take you straight to Trey. Sam has chosen her dress, she found it quite quickly but your sister is having a hard time, bless her heart.”

The bridal assistant opens the door and holds it open for Emma to walk through.

Emma feels herself shaking as she follows the assistant through the deserted boutique. Her stomach feels like it's knotting and has butterflies all in one.

‘Keep calm Em, keep breathing.’ She tries to reassure herself and fiddles with her glasses.

They eventually get to the main area where a little platform is situated for brides to stare at their possible gowns in the full-length mirrors and get other people’s opinions.

Emma pauses by the archway and watches as Alex motions to herself in the mirror. Clearly not one hundred percent happy with the dress she has on. But, to Emma, Alex still looks stunning.

Emma’s eyes gaze at the back of the heads of her family and friends. The only ones missing were the men and Sam.

Then Alex turns to face the others, her head lowered in defeat and Emma’s eyes snap to look back at Alex.

She watches as Alex slowly lifts her head and freezes when their eyes connect. Her breath hitches as she finally notices Emma standing there.

“Em?!”

(Part Fifty)

#supergirl #supergirl fanfic #supergirl imagine #supergirl baby danvers #supergirl fanfiction #supergirl tv #diana prince x baby danvers #wonder woman #diana prince #kara danvers x baby danvers #alex danvers x baby danvers #alex danvers imagine #alex danvers #alex danvers x sam arias #kara danvers x original character #kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagine #kara danvers #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor #lena luthor x baby danvers #b!d #baby danvers

[theyarebothgunshot]

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

#snail anon #csdsc #sunflower anon #turtle anon #eyes anon #tea anon #peacock anon #alien anon #bear anon #THAT WAS A LOT #anyways next time im just gonna spam you all fsfsgdsgd

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 5

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt: i stuck at prompts so uh hoskins is the best and walker is kind of the worst and the beginning then the worst at the end :)

Word Count: 1865

Reader: Female

Warning: uhhh

Author's Note: lmk for taglist, also sorry for not updating, I've had major writer's block. also struggling with tying things together in the plot. i'd rather not post anything than regret posting something lol. PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, I KNOW THERE IS STUFF WRONG, JUST TELL ME

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

=====

Waiting.

All you have left to do is wait. After letting the Flag Smashers get away, flying to Germany to infiltrate their base, and Zemo “mysteriously” breaking out of prison; you have to sit here at a random cafe and wait. Wait for a sighting or wait for the two idiots to respond to your messages.

The whole situation frustrated you. No evidence pointed to Sam and Bucky breaking Zemo out but that was enough proof for you and Walker to agree that it was them. Hoskins, on the other hand, was skeptical.

“Why would two Avengers break a criminal out of prison?” Said soldier questions from beside you. The three of you were sat outside, away from prying eyes and ears while you had a quiet meal together. It was nice to have some calm but it made you itch.

You shrug and look down at your cup of coffee, “Steve got me out of prison and I have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.”

“Yea, but that was to save the world.” Lemar points out, giving you an exhausted look. An uncomfortable pit in your stomach forms at the mention of the first battle, the one that blipped half the world gone.

Silence falls amongst the three of you again as you all are consumed by your thoughts. A small frown appears on your face as you think back to those years ago. Natasha Romanoff, a woman you will never see again, walked into your cell with a kind smile on her face. She explained to you the circumstances and how they needed everyone they could find to defeat a titan wanting world domination.

The look on Bucky’s face seeing you in Wakanda with the blonde was nerve-wracking. He looked like he saw a ghost. It brought back memories that you knew he didn’t want to think of and you felt guilty. It was not the first time the past has blended into his present and it wasn’t going to be the last, but it was worth it.

After his initial shocked expression, he greeted you with a surprised smile. One you never saw on him during your time at Hydra with his former self. He greeted you with your alias and his smile only got larger when you corrected him with your real name.

It was a sign of a fresh start between the two of you. He stuck beside you during the whole battle, protecting you from the aliens since it was obvious you were a bit rusty. It was nice… until you lost him again.

“They were desperate.” Walker’s voice rings out from across from you, a tone of realization.

“Who?”

“The Avengers.” He clarifies making you scoff and lean back in the patio chair. “They were up against an army that they thought they defeated years ago, an alien titan threatening to take over a world they’ve been trying to protect for years. The team was split into two and they didn’t know when the other half would show up.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms in annoyance at his backhanded analysis. You were out of practice, yea, but you were useful. They couldn’t have been that desperate to recruit you. “How does that relate to now?”

Now it’s Walker’s turn to roll his eyes. “So,” He drags out then lets out a scoff, “we have no leads. We’re at a dead end and we have the government behind us. They are as desperate as we are but the only difference is that they’re freelance heroes.” He carefully explains causing you to let out a sigh. You understood what he was getting at and it made you annoyed that he was right.

“So they can blur the lines we can’t.” You reluctantly conclude, he nods and relaxes in his seat. You had to hand it to him, he was smart. His training and years of experience did him well but that didn’t relax your nerves.

Bucky was still in recovery and you didn’t know how he would react to being in Zemo’s presence let alone working with him. He’s been doing better and this plus him not going to therapy is an uncertain combo.

Walker seemed to notice you dazing off again, subtly asking Lemar to go refill their coffees. You don’t notice when the man gets up and walks off until the blonde says your name.

“Hmm?” You hum, moving to grab your cup which was no longer there. A small blush appears on your face as you realize your distraction was gone. Now you have to look at him.

“You know, my wife doesn’t like me working with you that much.” He leans back in his seat and rolls his shoulders back, looking off in the distance. “With, you know, the countless charges of treason and espionage against you.”

You let out a snort, there was a lot more than that. “Where are you going with this, Walker?”

“You said you have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.” He simply states, eyes finally landing on you. There’s a moment of silence between you two as you try to define his words. Why was he bringing up his wife? Why did it matter that she was eerie of you?

“Yet, she knows I’ll be safe and level-headed because Hoskins is here.” He continues, “Sam is with Bucky, he’s in safe hands. If Zemo were to try anything he has Sam there to help him.”

You roll your head back and run your hands through your hair. There he goes again, thinking he knows everything and understands the situation. He continues to drone on but you stopped listening. You were proud of yourself that you kept your temper down this long, honestly, especially with your emotions right now.

You wait till he’s finished before looking back at him. He had a solemn look on his face, trying to show some sympathy and kindness but it only pissed you off further. “John, he turned him into the Winter Soldier.” Your voice was struggling to keep at an appropriate volume. “He said the words and he was gone. He still had nightmares about it to this day.

“Sam doesn’t know how to deal with the Winter Soldier. I barely do and I spent most of my life working with him. If he--”

“He’s not going to, (Y/N).” He snaps and you immediately shut up. You didn’t even realize the tears that started to pool in your eyes until you felt the wet drop roll down your cheek. He allows you to compose yourself before talking again, “My wife worries about me every day, you don’t think she’s not blowing up my phone every time she sees a newscast?

“I love her, would do anything for her. But she knows that when I see a fight, a chance to do something good or change the world for the better, that she can’t hold me back.” He passionately states as he fails from hiding his own emotions. “She still would worry even if I had...” His hands started to shake and his voice started to quiver.

It startled you, truthfully. He was allowing you to see a different side of him, the real man behind the shield. It was an odd time to get a new perspective on him but it was eye-opening nonetheless. He was opening his heart up to you as much as he probably didn’t want to, showing the same vulnerability you were.

“She supports me. She supports this crazy dream I’m living out right now and she’s there for me. You need to do the same for Bucky.” He culminates his speech just as Hoskins exits the doors of the cafe, juggling three cups and a pastry in his hands.

Walker immediately tries to relax his shoulders while you advert your eyes to the group of tourists across the street. There was a tense air between the two of you that if Hoskins noticed, he didn’t mention.

He sets the pastry down in front of you and you send him a grateful smile, a small warmth in your chest at the gesture to make you feel better. It works slightly until Walker’s words echo through your head.

=====

You let out a groan when you feel something soft wack against your face. Opening your eyes, you see black and don’t fully process what’s actually going on until the object is pulled away and replaced by a phone hovering above you.

“They’re in Latvia.” Walker’s voice rings out from beside you. Your brain finally catches up with being woken up so abruptly as you reach out and grab the phone from his hands.

Avengers Abroad. The article title readout causes you to furrow your eyebrows. Walker starts collecting your things while Hoskins stands at the doorway with two bags in his hands.

You quickly skim through the piece as the blonde aggressively throws your clothes into your duffle, “Why are they in Latvia?” You question, looking up from the phone to Walker who just ignores you. It would’ve made you laugh, seeing him pack up like a child whose mother just picked him up in the middle of a sleepover but the expression on his face was not one to mess with.

“We don’t know.” Hoskin’s soothing voice answers for him. “We need to head out immediately in case they spotted Karli, though. The most we can do right now is meet up with them and help.”

“And arrest Zemo,” Walker adds, walking out of the bathroom.

You raise your hands in exasperation, a questioning look on your face. “Weren’t you the one who was just convincing me that it was a good thing that they had Zemo with them?”

“Never said it was a good thing, just a desperate thing.” He corrects, “Now we have enough information to arrest them both for harboring a fugitive, we can take whatever information they--”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You throw your covers off and get up from the bed. You were furious that he would even utter those words, he knew they were with him and now he was just trying to corner them to make it seem like he was doing civil justice. “You just want to turn the tables to make it seem like you did all the work, you want the starlight more than you want to take down Karli.”

There’s a tense moment of silence where you and Walker just stare at each other. You could tell you struck a nerve by the way his shoulder’s squared up. It happened every time you insulted him and it was his tell to show he was trying to hold back his emotions.

“Just grab the rest of your shit and meet us in the lobby.” He demands, giving your bag a heave and throwing it at you. Luckily, your reflexes work faster than your brain does and you catch it. There’s a bit of guilt that bites at the back of your head for the low blow, especially since he gave you some good advice this morning, but you had more important matters to attend to.

_____

taglist: @crowleysqueenofhell @mischiefmanaged71 @thewinterrbucky @lizajane3 @ahahafudge @spookycereal-s @a-girl-who-loves-disney @kittengirl998 @ sebby-staan @felicityofbakerstreet @sltwins @tanyaherondale​ @mads-weasley​ @healy-facedown​ @bbl32​ @sebby-staan

#bucky barnes x reader #tfatws #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #james barnes #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x female reader #mcu

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Stay

A/N: This is my entry for CJ’s Twisted Valentine’s Day Challenge. @hufflebucky​ I hope I did the character justice! ;))

Trope: ‘There’s only one bed’ & “I’ll have a drink but only if you’re buying.”

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: 18+ content, Smut, fluff, cheating?

Word count: 1945

Main Masterlist

Everything Taglist – @godofplumsandthunder​  @ladyacrasia​ @agustdowney​ @swaggysposts​ @littlegasps​ @little-baby-vixen​  @another-stark-sub​ @supraveng​ @kahlanmars​ @marvelgirl7​ @disappointmentofthefam​  @pandaxnienke​ @tom-hlover​ @just-the-hiddles​ @fyreball66 @asmigurub​  @avantgardium-leviosa​ @imerdwarf​ @gladiosamicitias​

 …

Rain.

Just perfect. 

Torrential rains seeming to appear out of nowhere from formerly clear skies had you and Steve sprint to find shelter in a nearby alley with a lone canopy lending refuge from the downpour. Then again this weather wasn’t unexpected since you were in London, a city famous for unpredictable showers. 

Most of the damage was done since you had a minor injury to your ankle and Steve didn’t want to leave you behind. 

Panting heavily as you leaned against the brick wall, Steve threw a concerned glance at your leg before mirroring your stance. 

“Is your wound bleeding?” 

“It wasn’t back at the building.” 

Your damp trousers made it a bit hard to peel them back to inspect the injury and so did the limited source of light, when you did, there was in fact a sizable cut and blood spewing from it, making it quite clear that you’d be needing first-aid. 

“We need to get that wrapped up. Our hotel isn’t far from here, you think you can walk?” Steve frowned, looking around to find no cabs, it was way past midnight and not a soul on the street. 

“Y-yes. I think I can manage.” 

You leaned on him for support and limped ungracefully, stopping every now and then before the Captain lifted you up bridal style and proceeded to hurry up the lobby to your hotel - a rather quaint bed and breakfast chosen for your stay for this particular mission. 

Chilly air made you shiver and huddle closer to his warm chest, though the two of you were soaked, he seemed warmer somehow. 

Maybe it was a super soldier thing, you wondered. 

After placing you on the wooden chair in your room and shutting the door, Steve asked permission to lift up your pants to reveal the wound which looked nastier than before, it had turned dark and had swollen quite a bit. 

“I’ll call for a first-aid kit from downstairs.” 

“Don’t. I have one lying in my bag.” You nodded towards the closet where you’d kept your kit just in case. 

He cleaned the injury carefully before wrapping it up in medical gauze and a roller bandage before smiling. 

“Were you prepared for this to happen?” 

“Hey not all of us have super healing powers. Besides, you know how clumsy I can be.” 

He chuckled before letting his fingers graze over the exposed skin of your leg, his blue eyes fixed on yours, making you forget that you were shivering and dripping wet. 

“Ah! I’m a fucking idiot.” You exclaimed suddenly.

“Whoa language (Y/N). What’s wrong?” 

“Should’ve taken a shower before this.” 

You muttered, pointing to your freshly bandaged foot. The weariness from your mission had begun to creep up on you and all you wanted was to bathe, eat and sleep, precisely in that order. 

It must’ve slipped Cap’s mind too as he seemed to have an ‘oh shit’ face, before helping you stand up. 

“Call me if you need help in there.” He called out, making your eyebrows travel up at the boldness. 

“Look at you all flirty Mr Rogers. Thank you but I think I can manage.” 

‘Mr Rogers’ stirring something inside of him that secretly made him wish you would ask for his aid in the bathroom as he stared at your back before you closed the door behind you. 

You managed to take a shower somewhat awkwardly, careful not to disturb the dressing before another string of profanities slipped from your mouth. 

“Umm..Steve?” 

“Do you need a towel?” 

He answered before you could ask, his shuffling feet approached the door faster than you thought, giving you no time to cover your naked form. 

Like a gentleman, he covered his eyes before handing you the towel and turning around, not leaving the room. 

“You can leave, I’ll waddle out.” You said quietly, wrapping the fluffy towel around yourself. 

“Not a chance. You’ll end up tripping over something, let me help you change. I swear I won’t look.” 

He said with finality, eyes still closed, a little curt nod as if to warn himself not to peak. 

After helping you dress in comfortable sleepwear, Steve sat you on your bed and checked his beeping phone with his brows knitted together. 

“Something wrong?” 

“My plane got delayed.” 

“Oh.” 

Your face gave nothing away, but on the inside you were relieved that you wouldn’t be spending the night alone. You knew Steve was supposed to meet up with Sharon Carter, you also weren’t alien to him being old-school in so many ways, so much so that he hadn’t the courage to ask her out properly yet. 

“Are you getting a room here then?” You regretted asking the question instead of offering to share as realization hit Steve and he walked out of your room after muttering a quick ‘right, I probably should.’

Thirty minutes passed with you surfing mindlessly through channels on the television after having ordered room service, waiting to hear from Steve, when you received a text. 

Hey doll, turns out they don’t have any rooms left and it’s too late to go look for another hotel. I’m at the bar. You should get some sleep. - Steve 

Rolling your eyes at the message, you threw on a jacket over the pjs you had and made your way to the bar where Steve sat nursing a glass of scotch whiskey. 

“Alright what are we drinking?” You took a seat next to him, much to his surprise.

“I thought you were asleep.” 

“I couldn’t leave you here all alone and mopey about not having a place to stay. Besides, I could use a drink.” 

“So a pity stay?” He teased, downing the rest of the amber liquid. 

“Believe what you have to Cap. I’ll have a drink but only if you’re buying.” 

“Yes ma’am.”

You smirked, while the bartender brought you a glass of your favourite whiskey on the rocks, the fact that Steve knew your drink of choice was surprising. 

.

The clock showed 3:00AM when you and Steve returned to your room. Two glasses of liquid courage working wonders in keeping your body in a warm buzz while pushing Steve’s worries about sharing a bed far far away. 

Steve began peeling his clothes off while you made no attempts of giving him privacy to do so, getting under the covers and leaning against the headboard.

“Enjoying the view?” 

“I’d be lying if I said no.” 

A quick run to the bathroom later Steve got under the sheets next to you, wearing his white tank and dark colored bottoms. 

“Good night (Y/N). Thanks again for letting me stay here.” 

“You’re welcome Steve.” 

The bed suddenly seemed small now that a tall muscular super soldier was occupying it along with you. He turned to face you as you did the same, not quite done with the conversation yet but not knowing what to say either. 

Silence hung heavy as the berry scent of your shower gel filled Steve’s senses, the way your body heat radiated towards him, the way you were angled facing him almost close enough to touch, he was grateful for the sheets covering his tenting bottoms. 

“So how are things with your boyfriend? John was it?” He asked bitterly, staring down at his crossed arms. 

“Not great. Pretty sure I’m dumping him after we get back.” 

Your answer made Steve’s heart soar, a light blush appeared on his cheeks evident in the little light your room was bathed in. 

“Well I’m sorry.” 

“Are you?” 

“What?” 

He looked up to find your face closer to his, eyes flitting towards his lips, hot breath reaching his skin. 

“Then I shouldn’t feel guilty for doing this.” 

Steve’s hands found the side of your neck while his lips brushed against yours testing at first but when you captured his bottom lip with your teeth and shifted closer, his other arm found your waist and pulled you against his chest. 

He pushed you gently, laying you on the bed carefully and hovering over you, settling between your legs. Breaking the kiss abruptly, you stared into his lust-filled eyes, hardly in any blue left in those, breaths mingling as you both smiled panting, your fingers weaving through his short blonde hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.” Steve admitted, the blush on his cheeks returning. 

“Well I’m glad you did now.” 

You whispered, brushing your thumb against his cheek before he dipped down to kiss you again. Wasting no time in running his tongue along your closed lips, he deepened the kiss as your arms went around his shoulders, spurring him on. You sighed when Steve moved his lips over to your neck, placing feather-light pecks all over the skin before finding your junction and sucking there, driving you insane. 

He sat up on his knees to rid you of your clothing, before undressing himself down to his boxers and resuming his actions. 

“So beautiful..” 

His large hands palmed your breasts, kneading and pinching your hardened nipples before replacing his hands with his mouth. 

“S-steve. I want you.” 

You whined, pulling on his hair as you felt his clothed erection poking against your inner thigh. His hands slid down between the valley of your breasts, down to your stomach and reached your mound, stopping where you wanted him the most. 

Silently asking permission before your hips lifted off the bed granting it, Steve groaned when his fingers found your slick opening, wanting, aching for him. He brushed your folds, thumb grazing over your bundle of nerves before plunging a finger inside, eliciting a gasp from your lips. You clenched your walls around his digit to show just how much you needed him, while he chuckled against the skin of your neck. 

Desperately, you pushed his boxers down and wrapped your fingers around his cock, pumping a few times as he groaned against your ear before lining it over your entrance. 

Steve pushed in, slowly, intimately, inch by inch stretching you out as your warmth enveloped him, soon fully sheathed inside you. He gave you time to adjust for a moment before pulling almost all the way out and thrust back in, making you grab his shoulder as you cried out. 

Soon he set a steady rhythm, driving in and out of you at a pace that had you rush closer and closer to the edge as your pants and mewls echoed into the night. Steve snaked a hand between your bodies and rubbed your clit in circles, whispering words that sent your senses into overdrive as your orgasm washed over you, body trembling underneath his, back arching off the bed while he held you close, never stopping his thrusts. 

He chased his own end while you still rode out yours, hips slamming into yours at a rapid pace as your walls still fluttered around his cock. Hiding his face in the crook of your neck, he grunted loudly as you felt his cum paint your walls, cock twitching inside you. 

Steve cleaned you up before pulling the sheets over the two of you, kissing your forehead tenderly as you snuggled to his side. 

“Thank God your plane got delayed.” You mumbled sleepily. 

“Thank God you made me stay.” 

Outside, the sun began peaking through the horizon, the sky turning lighter by the minute as the two of you closed your eyes, sleep welcoming instantly. 

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #captain america x reader #captain america smut #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfiction #marvel writing challenge #fanfiction writing challenge #captain america fandom #marvel fanfiction #mostly marvel musings

[ignisnocturnalia]

Variks x Reader Relationship HC's

Gonna write you as a new light, apologies my God-slaying siblings

News of the Pyramids over Europa reaches far and wide, as does stasis

With this discovery, relayed by a veteran guardian, also reveals news of the Eliksni who instigated the riot at the Prison of Elders

Being freshly revived, there's not much you can make out of the hostility the other Guardians offer the alien

Curious about him, you make a bold request to be stationed on Europa to "monitor" him

Of course, Zavala denies your request and speaks of how important your guns would be here at home

While you say you understand, you're secretly trying to find your way around it

The Drifter

You heard about his escapades to the frozen planet, reasons unknown, but still able to slip through Vanguard sanctions

As usual, a Guardian siding with the Vanguard approaching you with a purpose usually isn't a good thing

"Somethin' you want, kid?"

His tone is carefully jovial, bordering neutral, but you're not foolish enough to think he actually trusts you

"I need to get to Europa."

He stares at you for a solid minute before sizing you up, an inquisitive glare settling on his face

"What's in it for me?"

Having been on Strike detail for months on end, you've got a sweet heap of glimmer and nothing to use it on; you know he doesn't care a lot for the currency, so you offer up your weapons alongside it

He gives you a lopsided grin as he takes the arsenal, waving off the glimmer and taking you to his ramshackle ship

Unsurprisingly, it's a quiet ride, your own Ghost unsure of your actions

Drifter gives you little warning before transmitting you off the ship, leaving you to fall flat on your ass in the deep snow

Despite being a little upset about this, you finally see your goal, the very Eliskni that brought new questions to the ice planet

Every step you take lands your foot in a fluffy sheet of snow, sounding out with a crunch you had never heard before

Soon enough, you've completely deviated from the reason you came to the planet, completely obsessed with the snow under you

The entire time, Variks has been watching you from the window of his base making a fool of yourself

Distantly, he realizes that he thinks you're cute like that

"Here to help, yes?"

You are COMPLETELY caught off guard, turning quickly on your heel before slipping on the ice and landing flat on your ass

A shadow falls over you as you look up to see the well spoken Eliksni towering over you, and you're immensely thankful for the helmet hiding your blush

He offers you one of his real hands, helping you up and you can't help but notice how his hunched form is hiding a solid 8" from his height

Bringing you inside, you slowly decompress from the outside chill and Variks formally introduces himself

You quickly take note of how each of his sentences are punctuated by insect noises, which are quite fun to hear

You explain your circumstances and even though you can only see his eyes, you can feel the confusion in the air

"You left the Tower.. to see me? Variks does not know who you are; you do not know Variks, yes?"

You're slightly disappointed but not surprised by his suspicious behavior, after seeing how other Guardians harped about him

You then remember something very important

"I don't have a ship to get back."

Your ship still sat in the Hangar, locked down until it was needed for use

Variks stood in front of you quietly before also noticing something unusual about you; your weapons were missing

"Stay. I will contact your Commander."

You immediately spring from your seated position, grabbing at his shoulder before he can reach the comms

He seems to understand your plead

You spend the next few days eating freeze dried food, along with MRE's supplied by another curious party on Europa

Variks doesn't join you until he's finished eating in another room, and the conversations you can strike up are limited

You ask him to teach you Eliksni

He appears shocked at first but eagerly obliges, now showing up to eat with you

It's been a good couple of weeks, and you've got a few phrases and words under your belt

Nothing translates directly, everything is interpreted based on the small word choice

Variks didn't know, but you had spent the last 3 days trying to figure out what the closest thing to "I love you" was in Eliksni

That night, when you both settle down to eat, you eye Variks with a renewed purpose

The fuzz in your brain dissipates as, astoundingly, he moves to take off his mouth cover

You can't help but stare at his revealed face not noticing how he fidgets a bit under your intense stare

"Apologies, (y/n). I did not mean to ruin your appetite."

It was now or never

Moving over to sit next to him, you shyly looked up to see he had yet to put the mask back on, instead looking at you with uncertainty

"Yu ne ze." You are my gift. I love you.

The Eliksni's eyes widen and his body stiffens and you worry for a second that you've made a mistake before he turns fully and leans into your face

"Ma yun ne."

His mandibles are often used to caress your face

You find yourself with gifts and trinkets waiting in your small room in the base

He has you spot check his weapons, testing them out and generally having a blast with them

Other Guardians have seen you on occasion, but very few have approached you to ask questions about the mysterious Eliksni

Variks loves it when you hold his hands, even more so when you pet his face

When you find out he can purr, it's one of the most sought after sounds during your intimate moments, and sometimes he will purr simply to indulge you

Even if you're an undead warrior, Variks still piles furs on to your shoulders to make sure you don't get cold during outings

You have had to fend off assassins, often at the cost of your life

This pushes you to accept the deceptive whispers of the Pyramid, carrying you all the way to the Exo Stranger's den

She reluctantly agrees to teach you because of your inexperience, and although neither of you say anything, you and Drifter make quick eye contact

Variks can smell the Darkness on you and is very disappointed, but he doesn't tip off that he knows

Instead, he uses it as an excuse to put you under house arrest

He catalogues every single symptom you have that could barely begin to resemble a sickness, encouraging you to stay inside until you're better

During the nights, you notice he holds you much more tightly against his body

You apologize for your zealousness regarding his safety

Your lessons in Eliksni continue, and soon enough you can hold your own in small conversations with him

Whenever you or Variks look at each other trying to figure something out, you both always ask about the question in your mind

Whoever is asked ends up sitting in the other's lap, but you've found that it's much more convenient to sit in his own

This exploration leads to daily petting or grooming sessions, giving way for more risque activity to take place

Nsfw 👁👄👁

Variks orients himself as a switch, but you can tell he enjoys being on the bottom a little more if his rapid breaths are anything to go by

Brushing and lightly scratching segments on his exoskeleton are immense green lights for him, especially adding just enough force to push into the seams between his limbs

He's very gentle with his teeth, but the red marks he leaves on your body are generous from the amount of fondling he carries out

He's perfectly fine with both of you being bare, so long as a heat source is nearby

This level of exposure allows you to feel every rumble, trill, and moan straight from his chest and you can't deny just how hot it is to have an entire alien making these noises because of you

He delivers plenty of foreplay, always giving you the option to back out of it

With your size difference, you have to work to move up and down his body when you're both laying down

One of his favorite things is when you drag your teeth along his neck or chest, no real threat of harm but an undeniable thrill for him

He may start slow, but towards the end? You're better off simply letting him take care of you the next day

Fluff

After particularly tedious days, you will pull him into your shared room and pepper his face with kisses

Whenever he wants to nap, he selectively chooses your lap so you can massage his back or his forehead

Following the official announcement of your relationship, Zavala finally submits and gives you full permission to stay stationed on Europa, at the price of lengthy field reports at the beginning of every month

Variks, of course, teases you while writing these papers

He'll correct a mistake you made way back in the paper, laughing quietly in the back of his throat as you fume at the obvious inaccuracy

Besides Vanguard papers, you've taken it upon yourself to make him a new arm

You decide to gift it to him once the Dawning starts

Note: I leave some of my handcanons open ended for more ideas, and yes, I am aware they are more like one shot/hc hybrids, but hey, take it as an invitation to ask me to actually write out the whole thing. I will not write out explicit nsfw unless asked, and if I am asked, it will always be gratuitous and extremely detailed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Finals are eating my timbs tho, so I'm currently attempting to study for these hellspawn

#variks #destiny 2 #relationship headcanon #zavala #commander zavala #the drifter #exo stranger #elsie bray #variks the loyal #Variks x Reader

[spencers-dria]

Congratulations on almost 150 love! So I just recently watched Suburban Gothic and I fell in love. So I was linking maybe you do a Raymond X Reader? Raymond and reader get a case but Raymond doesn’t know Reader is pregnant ((they are married for about 2-3 years)). Raymond is confused as to way every ghost he encounters is over protecting his wife the reader, becuase I like to believe spirits can sense things like souls of babies and such. So when the evil spirit goes to harm Reader the spirits block and protect her. After they finish she finally admits she’s 1-2 months pregnant and wanted to surprise him. The baby will be born on Halloween and gets Raymond’s abilities. Maybe Reader and Raymond also get a black cat? If not Halloween then I was thinking maybe reader gives birth on Friday the 13th under a blue moon in October? Just a thought!

Little Pumpkin

🎉150 Follower Celebration Day 5!

Raymond x fem reader

Pure Freaking FLUFF

Warnings: mentions of spirits/hauntings, pregnancy and birth related topics

A/N: due to the timeline covered in the request I couldn’t fit it all in but would be willing to consider covering the rest in a part two if you’re interested and enjoy this one. I hope this is what you were looking for and that you enjoy it!

—————————————————————————

The first time it happened, Raymond thought nothing of it. It was a normal house call, and the family had been haunted for months. The house had a chill, but this was expected in February weather. Y/N had descended into the basement first, per their usual routine with Raymond following cautiously behind, peeking over her shoulder in a child-like fashion. That’s when it started. Lights flickered, their candles blew out by a mysterious draft, and just spooky business in general. They knew immediately there were dark spirits residing there. A dark tendrils of smoke emerged on the steps, creeping their way towards Y/N and wrapping around her legs. What they didn’t expect was the second presence that appeared. The smoky fingers quickly withdrew. They couldn’t see much, but they could hear the fight occurring around them. They waited on the basement steps until things calmed down, before a faint figure of a young woman appeared, shooting a quick wink to Y/N before disappearing back into the darkness of the basement. Raymond and Y/N shared a quick look of confusion before checking the basement and the rest of the home for stragglers and were surprised to find it now “ghost-free.

As they walked out hand in hand, Raymond commented “you know I can honestly say that was a first for me.”

“What? Having a ghost wink at you?”

“Oh no. I was quite the phantom’s man back in my single days. It was just my first time going into a dark, spooky basement without screaming like a little girl.”

The sincerity in his statement only made Y/N giggle harder. She loved her quirky, charming husband.

Raymond was lucky enough to have a family business, which meant he and Y/N always worked as a team. A few years into the marriage and they had really hit their stride. He would do a lot of the research on the location, past owners, local legends, etc. and whatever else he could find to figure out just what it was they’d be walking into. But Y/N, she was the “muscle” so to speak. She was much braver than he, and he loved her for it. They would take time to sit down with the owners together and do their best to determine just what was plaguing that home. Sure they’d find the occasional raccoon in the attic or something of the like, but surprisingly most of their calls were genuine. Together they ran a very successful and popular business.

——————————————————————————

The second time it happened was around the end of March. It was starting to warm up again, which mean Raymond was back in his rompers and boots, which Y/N loved. For some reason unbeknownst to him, she could not keep her hands to herself when he wore them. They had just begun to ascend the stairs of a very worn down home. Y/N kept teasing him, turning around to blow kisses or wiggle her hips a bit more than usual with each step. She got a little too distracted, tripping on a loose board and falling straight back. Before she could topple straight into him, she seemed to stop in midair, before slowly returning to an upright position.

“Was that- did they just catch you?”

She nodded, speechless.

They shared a look of surprise before continuing up to the attic. An hour or so later they had helped the spirit to find a lost heirloom it simply could not move on without.

That night in bed, Raymond simply couldn’t shut his mind off. Something was going on and it seemed to center around Y/N. He curled up tighter in his alien bed sheets, which he insisted on keeping despite a few eye rolls from the missus. Raymond turned on his side to find his wife also wide awake.

“Can’t sleep huh?” she asked, reaching out to stroke a thumb over his cheek.

He closed his eyes and hummed and the sweetness of her touch before opening his eyes again to meet her gaze.

“Yeah there’s just a lot on my mind lately. The ghosts have been- weird around us. Well, around you really. The kind ones never harm us but, they seem to be going out of their way to help you. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though. You’re absolutely wonderful.”

He says the last statement so matter-of-factly there’s no doubt in her mind of his sincerity. She scoots closer until their noses are touching, as she continues to rub her hand across his face and through his hair.

“I was waiting for the right time to tell you” she whispers, a mysterious twinkle in her eye. She takes his hand and lays it gently over her belly, his long delicate fingers splayed over her skin.

“You’ve got a little one on the way.”

His brows knit in confusion. Surely she can’t mean…

“Raymond, you’re gonna be a daddy.”

His eyes grow big as his mouth opens, but no words come out. His face reads of pure adoration and joy, as he looks down, rubbing his fingers across what is soon to be her baby bump. When his eyes return to hers, they both share laughter of pure joy and disbelief.

“You’re sure? There’s really a baby in there?”

He stares at her belly with such awe. Y/N already knows he is so in love with their child. She couldn’t ask for a better father for her baby.

After much kissing and many giggles, Y/N rolls over as Raymond pulls her back against his chest, snuggling into her shoulder. He grabs her hand and places it back on her belly, before sliding his gently on top. They fall asleep together with sweet dreams of a future family.

———————————————————

Now that the secret is out things have gotten quite interesting. The spirits have been much more blunt with both of them. They were getting unsolicited but much appreciated advice from the most unexpected places.

An old woman haunting her granddaughter's house told them all the best foods and vitamins to help nourish the baby while still in the womb.

The spirit of a farmer’s wife told them all about the best birthing positions.

Spirit’s of two young ladies, sisters, helped teach them about the different options between breast feeding, pumps, and formula.

Several delightful young girls haunting a school have them lots of good ideas for names.

—————————————————————

They found out from the doctor that they’d be due in October, and the couple was absolutely ecstatic. A Halloween birthday for their first born. They couldn’t ask for a more perfect way to start their family.

Raymond began shopping accordingly as soon as he received the news. This included baby onesies which read: wicked cute, little pumpkin, and baby boo. Y/N just knew he’d go even more overboard with the newborn pictures.

“Look at this one though!”

“Raymond we have more baby clothes than they will ever be able to wear!”

He held up a little hat, knit look like a pumpkin, with a little green stem and leaves on top. As he held it up to his face, he gave his wife the saddest of puppy dog eyes.

“The hats pretty cute.” She leaned in and kissed his nose. “But you’re cuter. This is the last one though, Raymond. I mean it!”

It wasn’t.

—————————————————————-

Then one day it happened. They were helping with a haunting of a local business owner. Once again, the spirit was giving some input on what to expect, since they’re expecting.

“Oh and don’t worry, it shouldn’t take too long before you’re able to tell them apart.”

The wide eyed and confused glance shared between the couple told the haunt all it needed to know.

“Oh I’m sorry. I thought you knew… you’re having twins!”

After the initial shock and excitement wore off, Raymond turned to his wife with the biggest smirk.

“Looks like we’ll need more baby clothes after all.”

#suburban gothic #MGG #Raymond suburban gothic #fluff #pregnant reader #spooky #halloween fic

[belit0]

Wax Daddy

Rating: E

Pairing: [Senju Tobirama / Fem Reader]

TW: Wax Kink, Roughness, Dominance, Degradation.

"Tobi? You're back early... Is everything okay?"

"I want you in our room, now."

It's not natural to see Tobirama Senju arriving early from work. There are more lonely nights than there are nights with his company. It's painfully common to feel his side of the bed cold when it gets dark, since being Hokage is something he carries with as much passion as his relationship with you.

Yes, sometimes you wish he would stay with you, give you more than he usually offers, but that doesn't seem to be within his limits. Neither are you selfish enough to demand that he change for you, and you achieved a strange balance in the relationship, managing to be happy in the few moments shared.

Many thought that marrying Tobirama after knowing him for only 3 months was hasty, excessive, unintelligent. But in the time you spent with him, the shared connection between the two of you was undeniable, something in which you quickly found yourself comfortable. So when the man proposed to you, you didn't even hesitate, it was impossible to say no.

From the beginning you were aware of his addiction to work, but you always found it an admirable quality in him. Today, however, you were beginning to wonder what you were missing when the Senju was absent for whole nights locked up in his office.

Of course you had shared intimacy with him, but you had the feeling that your man was hiding more secrets than he liked to carry.

Blind to the events that were going to unfold in front of you, tonight Tobirama arrives home strangely early and with a different face. Being a man who is characterized by his temperance, calmness and calculation, he was alien to you when you faced him with his eyes unsettled and his body tense.

Sitting on the couch with a book in your hands, you were startled by the noise of the front door. It could not have been anyone else but Tobirama, yet the situation was peculiar. As you turned your head and saw him enter, you heard his voice, in a tone in which he had never spoken to you before.

" I want you in our room, now."

"...Are you all right...?"

"Do you trust me [Y/N]?"

"With my life, Tobi, but..."

"Then don't ask and obey."

Intimidated by your husband's distinctive attitude, you follow his command, and go where he tells you. When you enter the room, you are followed by him, who closes the door firmly behind his body.

You stand in the middle of the room, waiting for Tobirama's next words to become more normal than the previous ones. However, this is just the beginning.

"Sit down."

The Senju turns his back on you and proceeds to open one of his drawers in the wardrobe. Without being able to see his expression or what he does, you sit on the bed as he asks.

After a few seconds, your man pulls out a large red candle and a lighter. He turns towards you and walks in your direction. Staring at you, he lights the candle, without running his eyes off yours. Once lit, he throws the lighter across the room.

" Strip ".

"... What? Tobi... I..."

"You said you trusted me."

"Yes, but this-"

"Don't piss me off. Strip."

Perplexed by this new attitude of the Senju, you do nothing but obey. The severity in his tone of voice sends fire into your abdomen, and makes an electric stream run through your chest.

Under Tobirama's fierce and hungry gaze, you take off your shirt, and remove your bra. When you go to remove your trousers, his voice stops you.

" Hold it. Lie down."

Obedient, you comply.

"I won't have you wearing a bra under my roof. These... - he kneels on the bed, in one hand he holds the candle, with the other hand he massages one of your breasts - are mine, and I will have them when I want to, is that clear?

"Tobi..."

"If you don't call me daddy from now on, you're going to have a rough time."

In front of your surprised face, he pinches your nipple with unnecessary force, making you shiver and let out a little scream.

"Is that clear?

"Yes, daddy."

"Good girl."

Without warning, he straddles you.

The candle, which has been lit for a few minutes, now accumulates liquid wax on its top. By leaning it over your chest, the Senju drops the hot contents onto your body, making you scream in pain and surprise.

"NO PLEASE!"

"You are under my rules. If I don't ask, you don't talk. If I don't want it, you don't scream. If you do it without my consent, I will punish you. Understand?

" Yes da-addy..."

"Breathe. Don't scream, or you'll suck my cock till it's dry."

To hear him talk so dirty, a wave of heat comes straight down to the damp cradle between your legs. Suddenly, the pain of the wax became something tempting, something you wanted to feel in you. Having Tobirama's possessive look over your body while making the liquid across your breasts is something you never thought you'd enjoy this way.

When he leans the candle over you again, you take a deep breath and hold it. Your body contracts under the impact of the fluid, but you manage not to let out any screams or moans. The Senju spreads the contents of the candle across your belly, along your abdomen, your navel, the mounds of your breasts, and paying special attention to your nipples.

This is the area where you feel the sting of the wax the most.

"What a good girl... look at you... all marked for me. Tell me how much you want my dick."

" A lot daddy, I need it, please."

Your man hovers over you and proceeds to bite your neck. Leaving various bruises in the area, he dismounts from your body, and gets rid of your trousers and underwear.

Kneeling between your legs, still with all his clothes on, he continues his game.

Bend the candle over your thighs, near the cradle of your warmth, and leave a red waxy trail up to your knee. A whimper escapes your mouth at the lack of preparation.

"Did I say you could complain?"

"No Tobi."

"And you also forgot what to call me... what a disobedient little whore, I think you need to learn some respect for authority [Y/N]."

With that said, Tobirama blows out the candle, and takes off his clothes. An extraordinarily erect limb appears in front of you.

"Come here and suck it, you slut."

Your man's new words only motivate you, and you feel hungry to please him. Surrendering everything to him, you position yourself in front of him, and introduce his member in your mouth. You plan to use the slow pace that usually works with him in bed, but the Senju has other plans.

When you run your tongue over the head of his shaft to prepare it, Tobirama looks impatient, and grabs your hair with both hands. Pushing your head ferociously, he forces you to swallow its entire length at once, causing his member to touch the end of your throat in an unexpected way. When you find yourself gagging on it, this only seems to motivate him even more.

The fact that your teeth brush against his sensitive skin gives him more pleasure, and makes him move your head up and down with vigour over his length. When your hands are directed over his arms because you are on the verge of vomiting, your man allows you to separate from his member. Breathing desperately, threads of drool connect you to his body, and Tobirama is even more motivated to take you in when he notices the tears in your eyes.

"What a beautiful little girl... tell me how much you need me inside you and maybe I'll have the decency to give it to you.

"A-A lot..."

That said, the Senju doesn't waste time, putting you on your stomach and opening your legs. Positioning himself at your entrance, he enters with a single thrust, using your saliva and moisture as sufficient lubrication to slip inside you. His pace over your body is overwhelming.

Holding your form with one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your neck. His grip is suffocating and probably leaves bruises, but at this point you don't care because the level of pleasure his length generates inside you is too much to think about otherwise.

At some point, his hands disappear from your body, and he places his elbows at the side of your head. Biting your earlobe, he accelerates his violent pace even more, and hits your inside until he almost reaches your cervix.

"Be a good girl and ask for it, tell me how much you want my cum.

"Give it to me, Daddy, please.

"Say it, ask for it [Y/N] ask for it."

"Please Daddy just come inside me."

Feeling your walls milking him makes him lose his mind, your voice suffocated by pleasure and the sheets push him to the limit, he comes inside you and collapses on you.

Tonight, you discovered the secrets that your man kept inside himself.

#senju tobirama #tobirama x reader #tobirama senju #tobirama senju x reader #naruto x reader #naruto shippuden #naruto imagines #tobirama scenario #tobirama imagines #tobirama #x reader

[blankdblank]

Poke Pt 5 - Graduation

…

Names bled on and on in the coliseum shaped event center where your ceremony was being held after having giggled your way through the excited hugs and chatter of your adopted brother who now sat filming from his seat still smiling. Underneath the crimson robe and silver sash you had settled on a black sleeveless blouse with a floppy ribbon bow in the front that bled to blush to match the dress slacks you had on that bled from black at the waist to blush on your hips and hung in circles around your nude colored wedges entirely.

Speeches from the school officials had already been given and more than a few glances at the small barrel beside the podium were stolen until with diploma in hand after everyone else had accepted theirs you listened to Cindy give her speech as Salutatorian. Waiting off to the side of the stage once you tied the ponytail of your curls not held in the braids down the sides of your head to help heel them in control.

Tucked in your trembling hands pressed to the front of your legs was the diploma and framed plaque stating that you had been granted one of the six offered scholarships matched by the medal on the ribbon around your neck. You wanted your mask and with a glance at Eddie you couldn’t help but grin and giggle to yourself at the weird face he made your way even with view of the anxious and curious Avengers who sat to the side of the three teenagers who sat whispering about the project with phones ready to film the demonstration.

Cindy stepped aside and gave you a comforting grin tapping her finger on the mug rested on the podium you had almost lost three times in the back halls before the walk out to take your seats. Up to the podium the Dean walked with a smile stating, “Thank you Cindy. And now our Valedictorian, Pluto Pear has not just a speech but a demonstration of a project she has been perfecting in the final semester of her time here at Midtown. And we are so proud to say she chose our school to attend after immigrating to the United States from her studies in Sweden and Russia.”

He smiled your way in his step aside to his own seat after another glance at the barrel on your step forward to the round of cheers and excited whistles. Forcing out a grin you said, “I think the one thing that my teachers can agree on is that I tend to ramble when not on a crisp outline, so when I was told I was expected to come up with a speech things got a bit on a tangent. I went from about five sheets of torn up ideas of motivational things to try and say obviously my mind went to what we could aspire to do, which I am halfway anticipating myself to end up with a fancy hat shop in the end thanks to my indecisiveness on which way I’m going.”

Chuckles rippled through your classmates and you said, “Which had my mind wander naturally as it was Christmas time talks of Howard Stark and his son both personally flying in the big tree for the lighting ceremony easing the usual transportation nightmare we’ve faced for now on half a century. And I came up with these.” You said lifting the rings that had been laid on the top of the barrels lid after settling your diploma and framed plaque on the podium.

Eyes scanned over the rather unimpressive rings that with a shift of the camera across the monitors that closed in on your upper body and the rings allowing Tony to use his enhanced glasses to try and analyze the rings himself from his seat that from the distance he got confused at the lack of known metal in them. “There’s big money and hassle in transportation of agriculture and if we could just get the plant from the ground to the location it’s going to be planted in.” Your eyes dropped from the crowd to the rings and the handheld calculator like controller you pulled from your pocket that had the matte grey rings of sideways laying circles that upon its green glow inside they now took spiral shapes in their rotation around the charged reaction almost like a double helix from a distance. The colors soon rippling to a spectrum of colors enough to fill out a pastel rainbow, the reaction that had Loki mutter in Ancient Asgardian, “Thor, I may be incorrect in my assumption-,”

Thor in awe replied, “That’s a rainbow portal. She’s tapped Yggdrasil.”

Murmurs rippled through the crowd while you were watched using your fingertips to expand the rings to about two feet around. And in a couple waves of the controller one ring floated a couple feet off the ground next to you on one side of the podium and the other above your head on your right a few feet away. The mug with cow patterns on it was lifted and you said, “I started with a couple mugs, which are now broken, but I finally got the field right for the exit.”

From your palm the mug flipped at the fling of your hand to spiral in its drop to fall through the hoop that sparked up and was mirrored by the beam of rainbow light that shone out the other ring aimed at the ground the mug fell through to hover a couple feet from the ground. Tight and sharp MJ’s hand gripped Peter’s sleeve shaking his open mouthed self as she squeaked out, “She did it! Beam me up Scotty, right there!”

Ned open mouthed said, “Someone from our school built a teleporter. This is beyond cool!” his comments died to excited comments from the entire crowd.

In their silence you said after fetching the mug, “Which, it’s a mug. Where’s the fun in that? I forgot to bring my daisies for a living example, so-,” Shrieks of excitement and gasps came in a surge of people to their feet watching your spring over the ring that expanded to morph around your body which vanished in a poof of your gown and lift of your cap from your stubborn curls fighting it all day.

You appeared first, expected but shockingly so at the same time, to fall from the ring on the other side. Awkwardly to one knee you forced the landing, as if you couldn’t naturally stick it and the place erupted as Tony stood open mouthed still recording your downward gaze and muffled giggles at the response to the project. To your side the cap dropped to a hover and was grabbed by you and put on again. When your eyes rose out of the beam you stepped and rose up again to fetch the controller that in the spark of the ring you had leapt into had it hover to be lowered into the barrel of salt to douse the reaction. “And that’s what the salt is for.”

To your side the second ring hovered and began to spark while being lowered in the barrel you added the lid to again and said after another giggle when the crowd had silenced again. “So this year aliens fell from the sky, none of us really know what to do with that news and I might end up with nothing more than a fancy hat shop to my name when I earn my headstone, but who knows where we’ll be. Because that’s all we really have in the end, the limits we set for ourselves for the stance of impossible. Thank you so very much for working with my randomness all of these years I will never forget the impression each and every one of you have made upon the school and my experience in it.” You gave the cheering crowd an anxious wave and lifted the diploma, plaque and mug you set on the barrel you hoisted up to your hip and smiled at the still awe struck Dean and staff on your way to your seat to sit partially hiding behind your barrel.

Pats and excited hugs came from the students around you in the rain of graduation caps all the way back to the back halls you went and waded through a barrage of requests for pictures out to the front hall. There both the Princes smiled proudly as Eddie scooped you and your barrel up in a tight hug the teens followed with their own hugs between questions and excited chatter.

“Let’s feed you!” Eddie said and out to the front entrance where the cars Tony had ordered were filled to take you to the high end eatery that took up the whole floor of a hotel. A place Tony assured your brother was open to ‘substitutions’ on the menu after his having heard from Peter about your troubles on school trips and places to eat before.

“You can leave the barrel over there.” He said gesturing to an empty table where you also left the robe, sash and the medal you removed to hang over one of the chairs. With a free swipe of his phone Tony read the results of the scan he took of the contents, namely the ring and asked, “That wasn’t electricity, and, the barrel is giving off oxygen. How’d you do it?”

“There’s stronger forces on the planet than electricity.”

“It’s not radioactive, and it’s in a barrel so solar and wind is out.”

Thor said, “Shieldmaiden Pear has tapped into the strength of Yggdrasil.”

Tony looked at you saying, “Eggs, you powered the rings with eggs?”

Loki said in his glide of your chair out to usher you away from the nosy scientist in the politest of ways. “Yggdrasil is the tree that joins the nine realms.”

“Photosynthesis is far more powerful than people give it credit.” Crossing to his side you lowered to ease onto the chair the Prince slid in closer to the table at Eddie’s side then Loki strolled around the table to claim his own seat across from yours.

“Flower power, and here I thought we were getting somewhere intelligent.”

Loki says, “You should listen to her. She’s the first mortal to have grasped the concept of harnessing that power source or even recognizing it.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Don’t be ridiculous. Flowers?” Stark said taking his own seat while the others took theirs and Peter stole a glance at his friends who settled on your other side past him.

“People plant sunflowers and mushrooms in radioactive zones to neutralize the radiation. People never knew electricity existed for a huge chunk of our history, they used to drink radium before they realized how potent and dangerous it was. Mint and blackberry plants can take over civilizations if not kept in check. You have no idea what power you water in those tiny bright colored pots on your windowsill. You harness that you can change the world in a way that can’t be governed or restricted or hoarded to be used against your enemies. Countries keep drilling for energy when all they need is to just think outside of the box. It’s so much more than Mother Nature at work here. Every seed knows what to do, how?”

He shakes his head, “In their DNA I would assume. Same as us.”

“And like us we have a power center. Our brains. Theirs is just smaller. This whole planet down to its molten core is alive.”

MJ said, “Just like that DR Who episode with the flying space whale.”

“Exactly. We need to stop electrocuting the Pilot of this ship and let it take us to where we’re going.”

Loki, “Finally, someone brilliant on this planet. Only took six thousand years.”

“You know people aren’t going to believe you right?” Banner said in a reach for the wine glass of water left on the table in front of him.

“Oh they will. And they’ll start burning the planet down to make sure they keep control. Because there’s nothing more dangerous in the history of our race than a human who feels like they are close to being powerless. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Tony looked you over with a purse of his lips for a moment. “They’ll believe me. Then like so many brilliant minds before me one day I’ll just be gone, or discredited and branded as deranged.”

Bruce asked, “So how does some mystical tree link to those rings?”

Thor chuckled, “The rings are a Rainbow Portal similar to our Bifrost transportation system.”

Tony asked as the waiter offered out the menus to each of you, “She can go to other planets with those rings?”

“They only work about a mile apart right now.” You said lowering your eyes to the menu your fingers blindly flipped open.

Thor, “Mainly due to the current setting I would wager. However it would merely be a matter of linking the system to one of our gateways and the distance could be heightened exponentially.”

Tony said, “But she could go to another planet?”

Bruce asked, “And you came up with that from a giant Christmas tree?”

“More or less.”

Tony, “How?”

“Not saying, or selling it. Not to who will have access to it through you.”

“Ah,” he said and gave a nod, “Very bold statement.”

MJ said, “She’s got a point. You help the government who will want to use it, next thing we know another Hiroshima happens without any alarm system to warn the targets.”

Tony scoffed and Eddie said, “No shortage of History proving that logical response,” he looked to the Princes asking, “They ask you about the Bifrost yet and how it works?”

Thor, “We refused to grant access. The planet is not prepared for this technology.”

Bruce teased, “And yet a child figured it out.”

Loki said, “Yggdrasil trusts very few gatekeepers. Were anyone to steal the technology from Miss Pear they would find them uncooperative, and that mile limit is the stretch between root channels where the power is the strongest.”

Bruce, “So the tree won’t let anyone else use the rings?”

“Not a soul,” Thor said.

And Tony asked, “Why her?”

Loki answered, “She listens. Clearly.”

Tony looked to you as Bucky said, “You must really love plants, build that to just move them.”

Peter said, “You know there are Mother trees, who adopt whole forests of smaller trees. And their roots can stretch and tangle for miles around the trunks. Trees share nutrients and food they get from sunlight even if they grow in the shade of taller trees. They talk and help each other.” Everyone looked at him and he said, “If people were like trees we’d be living in Eden. We have to protect the trees, and if we can move them safer, could help everyone.”

Bucky asked you, “So you’re going to study plants?”

“Among other things. Did you go to school, internet says Steve went to Art School?”

“I was actually in study to be a real estate agent. Which seemed to be a good way to earn some scratch back then.”

“You gonna pick it up again? I’m sure the team could help you find something to sell. After all they have the Captain in propaganda infomercials for our school to try and compel us to be our better selves.”

Steve glanced away out of embarrassment as Ned and MJ started parroting their favorite clips back to him that had Bucky smirk and eager to hear more on what his friend had been up to for a living while they were apart.

Steve asked, “You have a job for school?”

“I usually keep four during summers and two part time jobs the rest of the year.”

Bruce said, “Can’t imagine the scholarship will help much. What did you get?”

“Ten grand. It’ll help me pay for the rest of my Bachelor’s Degrees, and maybe half of one class into my bigger degrees.”

Tony said, “So I would assume you would be in need of a paid internship then? With a certain intelligent entrepreneur who has a lab at his disposal.”

“I think I might not be the person you would want to hire. I rarely share my ideas and tend to change designs of others to improve upon them.”

Tony, “And how would you improve upon my super suit, for example?”

“I would certainly reverse the audio pulses it emits into your body and those around you.”

“My suit doesn’t give off pulses. I’ve tested it.” He replied and you nodded turning the page in the menu after you had given your drink order to the waiter. His eyes scanned over you and he asked, “How did you test that theory of yours?”

“You aren’t very good at keeping your suit to yourself if you didn’t want other people scanning it. Even videos on YouTube show the signs.”

Bruce said, “The other guy doesn’t like being near your suit very long, could be something there.”

The delivery of drinks had their argument over what it could be stop as he noticed Eddie’s hushed conversation with you and pat of his hand on your hand rested on top of your lap. The motion had Tony’s eyes linger on you while you gave a brow twitching butcher of the Chef’s favorite dish to fit your own preference that had enough of a reaction to cause the Princes to do the same and see how obedient the Chef would be to Stark’s paycheck. And when you were alone in the room again he said, “I suppose now would be as good a time as any. You now have 50 grand to go to your schooling.”

“I’m not selling you anything and I have enough jobs to fund my way.”

“You would prefer to struggle your way through years of debt and then be lost to the abyss of not having a job and applying to the few locations possible?”

“Your grandfather worked a fruit stand and his wife worked in a shirt factory when they came to this country.” That had Steve and Bucky glance between you, “I’m gonna carve my own future. I’ll be fine. Builds character. Thank you though. I know you won’t miss it but all the same, no thank you.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he scoffed, “You obviously don’t know the worth of even a grand.”

“Coming from the Billionaire who could change the lives of everyone in this country and still have ample funds to retire on above Middle Class, you’re the one who doesn’t know what it would mean to someone who needs $20 to make it to Friday. I can work, I have some savings. Put your money where it can be useful to someone who doesn’t.”

“And who says it won’t be useful with you?”

“Who says I won’t just donate it to underprivileged schools to tide some teachers over when their checks are bound to be cut yet again thanks to that new bill Senate is pushing?”

“Who says I haven’t already donated to teacher salaries before?”

“There would be more schools named after you if you had. Big name like yours pays attention to the little people suddenly everyone cares, for a few minutes at least.”

“You don’t want some of that attention?” He asked and you shook your head. “You gave that presentation.”

“I’d have flunked an exam if I would have known I’d have to give a speech at all to run in third.” Making Bruce chuckle at the shared hatred of public speaking.

Thor broke the stalemate and asked, “Shieldmaiden Pear, which one of your parents does your brother resemble most?”

Eddie smirked and laid his hand across your lap and smiled when your hands settled around his forearm when he said, “I’m adopted. Found this one in the park, some assholes had roughed her up. Took her home and patched her up, never could get shaken free.”

Steve asked, “They catch the guys who did it?”

Eddie said, “Venom ate them. Got caught in a trap at the wrong time.”

Loki drew your eyes to him when he said, “Yes, the Symbiote. Known to be quite fond of children, and it is no bit of chance that him and that Misique character have grown close. Only way to find peace with their race is to allow them to find a host and then form a familial bond. Otherwise they decimate the population of the planet they are dropped on.”

Natasha asked, “Venom’s an alien?”

Bruce, “Symbiote? Like a parasite?”

Thor, “No more a parasite then your Hulk. Mutually protective entities who share the same physical space.”

Steve, “Alien, and he’s been here for years. How many more of him are there?”

Ned, “No wonder Misique was so skilled in taking the bad aliens down.”

Across the table in the flurry of chatter while you sat quiet a glance at the brothers was stolen. The blonde who gave you a puffy cheeked smile and Loki, who mid answer to Bucky shifted his gaze to follow the source of the gaze and looked over your face when you finished chewing your bite and lifted your glass of raspberry tea. A couple bites later and he looked again when the chair across from him was empty and Natasha took the chance to slip out behind you.

On the other side of the incredibly upscale stall she turned at the sound of your steps to the sink beside hers with a smile. “Impressive job today. And for the record I am proud of your want to build yourself up. Not easy, I’ve been there more than once. Plus you aren’t wrong, those rings out of your control would only spell disaster.”

You smirked through washing your hands and you asked, “How likely am I to end up with a check shoved into my pocket when I leave?”

“Fairly likely. Maybe not in your pocket, you impressed him. No matter what he says.”

Back to your seat you went and continued listening until it was time to gather your things and head for the car that Tony opened the door to saying, “You should take the money. Change your mind let me know. And we’ll get you as many degrees as you like.”

Loki said in his turn to say farewell after his brother had, “Celebrate today. You gave a fine demonstration to the other mortals and have discovered things far beyond their capabilities. Continue your research.”

“Thank you. And I know it was a bit of a lengthy ceremony.”

Thor chuckled teasing, “Clearly you are ignorant of the monotony of Asgardian Royal processions which can take up to half a day on occasion.”

“Not sure how I’d be anything but ignorant on anything royal. This planet or otherwise. Enjoy your day hope it turns out magnificent, Your Majesties. I’ll be off to take my barrel of salt home.”

They chuckled and nodded their heads to Eddie in his dip into the car behind you, eager to get you home and celebrate on your own. Off to the side however Tony asked Peter, “What was that with the tree bit at the table?”

Peter answered, “Bumble told me. We watched Prom night drives home together.”

“Pete, don’t go down that path.” He sighed and Rhodey stepped closer with the others.

Rhodey asked, “What else she say?”

Peter, “Said she’s been looking in to SHIELD, said there’s spies,” that had faces drop and he continued, “She’s got PTSD. When she moved here what happened to her parents, she saw stories in the press about people hurting kids and she started having flashbacks.”

Natasha said, “She did say she was in therapy now.”

Steve asked Rhodey, “What’s PTSD?” quietly to not interrupt the teen.

Peter said, “She’s not a bad person, she’s just healing from some very bad stuff. And she’s trying to help people, maybe not the government, but the people.”

Tony said, “And just why hasn’t she said anything about that to me then?”

Reluctantly the teen said, “She said you haven’t been hurt by the system yet and you still trust it.”

Tony said, “So I trust the system and there’s spies in the organization that’s defending our country and possibly world. Sure, let’s distrust that.”

Bucky said, “If I wanted to bring down SHIELD I know where I’d get hired.”

And Peter said, “Hey, that’s what she said too.” He looked to the car that MJ called out from and he said, “Just give her a chance, she just needs some friends. Helped to save the world. Could be great for the team.”

Tony sighed and said to himself, “That would be useful, if she could be a team player.”

Pt 6

All –

@sherala007​, @mariannetora​​, @jesgisborne​, @knitastically​, @catthefearless​​, @theincaprincess​, ggbbhehe4455, @lilith15000​​, @alishlieb​​,

Not nsfw(smut) - @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​

X Loki - @pastelhexmaniac

#graduation #Forced Friendship #Enemies to friends to lovers #Soulmates au #Loki #Thor #Eddie Brock #Peter Parker #MJ #Ned #Beam me up Scotty #Celebration Dinner #Marvel

[haloud]

things we could burn in one go (eminence) - chapter 6

also on ao3

Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Isabel Evans & Max Evans & Michael Guerin, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Forrest Long/Alex Manes Additional Tags: post-s2, Canon Compliant, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, starts forlex ends malex, other characters may appear - Freeform, tags subject to update

Chapter Summary: Alex comes home to find his world turned upside down; Max and Isobel struggle to save Michael’s life.

Excerpt:

How close did they come to that chest being stilled forever? The answer was clear, splashed rust-red across Michael’s clothes, and Alex couldn’t stand it, couldn’t reconcile it, couldn’t balance the equation made by Michael this morning and Michael here, now, this.

Alex stood sharp, with a purpose, stood over Michael whose eyes moved rapid behind his lids, Michael who flushed with life but hadn’t lived since being healed, Michael who could so easily be an illusion of hope, snatched away in a second, snuffed out. Jerkily, Alex shot out a hand, then yanked it back, checked over his shoulder for Max or Isobel or—anyone—like a kid with a hand in the cookie jar. A touch so innocuous, necessary, even; Michael shouldn’t be forced to rest with dirty clothes; but. Was he allowed? Was the universe watching?

His hands were heavy; purpose and gravity worked on them, yet with a weightless almost-faith they remembered the hill and valley of Michael’s chest, the texture and temperature of his skin, the cartography, topography of loving him and being loved.

-

Rain pounded the windshield, and pain pounded Alex’s head, from the back of his neck to behind his eyes. He huffed out short relief when he finally turned down his quiet street and settled back against his seat, no longer needing to squint through the panicked flutter of the windshield wipers at the too-bright lights of other cars as he coasted into his driveway. Parked, he rolled his shoulders back and stretched, heavy eyelids opening and shutting, brain ticking over slowly as it tried to marshal signals to his body to get him out of the car and to the door.

Exhaustion didn’t cover the way everything wore on him. Work, other people, the Project hanging over him like Damocles—how much longer could he hold Fields off without an answer before she took drastic action or moved on, maybe even called Flint in? He had a calendar in the drawer by his bed counting down the days to the end of his contract, hidden away so he didn’t have to explain himself when Forrest stayed over. Not that he relished everything about a return to civilian life, a life he’d never lived as an adult…

Even his loved ones wore on him sometimes. Guilt was another chain around his shoulders, from the way he’d ghosted Kyle for weeks, to shooting down offers from Maria to hang out, to letting his morning call with Liz this week slip from a real conversation to a perfunctory text confirmation that Arturo and Rosa were fine. On top of that, he still hadn’t texted Forrest since he landed, and now Alex was avoiding his phone, the tension of expectation he imagined on the other side of the line too much to bear.

And then there was Michael. Brilliant, stubborn Michael, who reminded him without meaning to how wide a gulf he still had to cross to regain his trust, the trust that Alex would always protect him, no matter what.

But—one day at a time. Hour by hour if he had to. Old advice from the counselor he saw after his injury, but no matter how high the papers piled up in his mental inbox (call your therapist), he hadn’t been able to get himself to book a new appointment with a new one, so he’d do what he could, and fall back on the somewhat insufficient tools he had in his outdated toolbox.

And one day at a time meant getting out of his car, carrying his groceries through the rain, and getting in the front door. Okay.

As he turned to leave the car, something moved in his peripheral vision, and he whipped his head around to chase it. Squinting through sheets of rain and twilight-gray haze, he could just make out a dark shape huddled beneath the overhang, but whether it was human, animal, or object, it was impossible to tell. Through the thundering static downpour, Buffy howled behind the door.

Moving slowly, he retrieved his combat knife from the glove box and cracked the door open. The rain rushed up from a rattle to a roar, loud enough to cover the scrape of his boots against concrete and brick as he crept toward the porch. He was soaked cold within moments, blinking water out of his eyes, still and smooth as a cat after decades of conditioning, every muscle locked to avoid tremor. The closer he got, the louder Buffy grew, barking and slamming herself against the door. A few feet closer, and the shape took form—human, definitely human, adult male by size, but whoever it was, they were slumped beside the door, not crouched, not lying in wait, so Alex lowered his knife.

Still creeping closer, he spoke up, “Hey! Do you need help—”

But before he could get out a single word more, the person lifted their head, and—

“Michael?”

Alex bounded forward the last few feet, dropping his knife with a splash, flinging himself to one knee beside Michael’s huddled form, grasping at his sopping clothes, seeking injury, something, anything.

“Michael, what’s wrong? What—”

He tipped his face up and his head lolled back; his breath rattled in his chest. The only color between his ashen face and rain-black hair was an ugly streak of red from the corner of his mouth across his cheek and chin, and a gust of wind blew the storm against them, washing his blood pink, and then it was gone.

“Michael!” Alex repeated, more urgently, frantically. How did this happen? Who could have done this? Alex’s mind shot straight to his own earlier question—how long would Fields let him go without answering. Was this his answer? Tripp’s dog tags hung leaden around his neck. He could choke on them, on the cold tin symbol of his own inaction, even now.

“Max is already on his way,” Michael said, voice breathy and labored, then laughed, a bizarre and throaty caricature of his normal laugh, and his elbow bent robotically to let him tap his temple. “Called him.”

“Why didn’t you go straight to him so he could heal you? Michael? Michael!”

But he was gone; his eyes rolled back to whites, and he slumped strings-cut so Alex almost dove to catch him in his arms; his hand fell from his head to the brick patio and struck the ground with the force of gravity, skinning his knuckles.

It took seconds for Alex to process his shock—seconds Michael might not have to waste, but nonetheless--the rain had his hands slipping on his skin, so Alex held on tighter, clutching Michael’s head to his chest, curling his body around him on the most animal instinct to shield, shelter, protect.

Despite the cold downpour, Michael’s skin was feverish, his breathing bad and worsening, his pulse fast and weak. Bracing his weight on his good leg, Alex pulled Michael over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and stood and unlocked the door.

Buffy’s barking stopped as it swung open; she scrambled around Alex’s feet, pawing at his legs, herding him inside, sniffing at Michael’s fingertips that dangled inches from the ground. Panting, Alex hauled him to the couch and set him down.

Inside, out of the rain, Michael somehow looked worse. His entire front was soaked with blood along with rain; he stank of it, all copper and salt, and bile rose in Alex’s throat. He held his breath and grabbed a towel.

“Gonna ruin your stuff,” Michael rasped. “Gonna ruin…”

Milliseconds before pressing call to figure out how far away Max was, Alex dropped his phone from numb fingers as Michael—there was no word for it, for a second, a heartbeat, Alex lost all faith in his own eyes—as Michael blurred and disappeared and blurred and reappeared a few feet away, whining like a shot doe.

“What the f—Michael!”

“Alex!” Max’s voice bellowed. A fist pounded on the door, shaking the entire frame.

“It’s open!” Alex called back, dropping to the ground beside Michael again and lifting his head into his lap. “Michael,” his voice broke as Max threw the door open. “Michael, what happened? What’s happening?”

His only answer was a babble, words Alex couldn’t understand, words that doubled, tripled in on themselves, moved backwards to forwards and slid out of Alex’s mind the second he heard them, alien, unknowable.

“Michael!” The word wrenched out of Max’s mouth. Buffy paced behind him, whining, letting out a single loud, anxious bark that went unanswered as all the energy in the room funneled toward Michael.

“Hey—[][][][][][][],” Michael said, a horrible, gasping laugh rattling out of his chest.

As the words left his mouth, he groaned and curled in on himself, choking, splattering himself with more blood as it bubbled up between his teeth; then Alex had to strain to hold him still as his back snapped into an arch. Light flashed, then flashed again, and Alex’s logical mind wanted to call it lightning but—but it wasn’t. It came from inside Michael, as all the strength left his muscles and he collapsed, again, limp against Alex. He was so feverishly hot, even for him.

“What the fuck,” Alex whispered. His mind came up blank for anything else to say; his hands tightened, one hand’s nails digging into his bicep, a fistful of bloody shirt in his other. Michael tipped his head to the side, nodding against Alex’s chest.

“Alex,” he croaked.

“I’m here.” To Max, he repeated, “What the fuck? I saw him just a few hours ago, what the hell happened?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Max said, reaching out to grab him.

Alex’s hands tightened more, on pure instinct, clutching Michael to his body, but then he forced himself to let him go, to let Max lay hands on him.

Max continued, “I heard him in my head, like he screamed in my ear, and I just—knew he’d be here, somehow. It’s not normal, it’s not—we never hear Michael, he’s always closed off. I don’t know what happened.”

As he spoke, his hands wandered over Michael, across the bloodstains on his chest and neck. His brow furrowed; he moved as if on autopilot, until his hands found purchase on Michael’s temples, and he closed his eyes. Softly, his hands began to glow, and Alex held his breath.

If Max couldn’t fix him…

No. He wouldn’t even entertain the thought for a second, not when his body still tingled with the sense memory of Michael’s living heat. He couldn’t die; it went against nature.

Max grunted, and his exertion pulled Alex back down to earth. He couldn’t do anything for Michael that Max couldn’t right now, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be helpful. Levering himself to his feet, he headed for the bathroom, Buffy following, barking anxiously. Wrenching open the medicine cabinet, he downed two Tylenol dry to head off the pain in his leg and hip he knew was coming, then from under the sink he snatched a fresh bottle of acetone and marched back to the den.

There, it was something out of a horror movie, rain lashing the windows, lit only by the artificial twilight of an afternoon storm, Michael spread out, skin grey, blood red, Max hunched over him looking half as sick, and Alex thrust the bottle at him.

“Drink,” he ordered, and as Max obeyed, guzzling the acetone, gasping between gulps, Alex returned to where he belonged—at Michael’s other side, holding on to him as if their bodies touching would be enough to keep his spirit tethered to this world—the only world—that is, the world they shared together, rendering all others that may exist utterly meaningless.

As nightmarish a scene as they made, Alex let out a sigh of relief when he clutched Michael’s wrist and felt his pulse strengthen. His eyes moved rapidly under his lids; his breathing was regular.

“It’s working,” Alex said, voice croaking out through a thickened throat.

“I hope,” Max groaned. “His mind is like—it’s like an animal fighting back. I need Isobel, I called her, but I’m afraid if she went in we’d lose her too. I can’t think—” his eyes met Alex’s, terrified. “It has to be Jones. Jones did something, I can’t think of anything else that might have done this.”

Alex could. But he seized on the opportunity to have an enemy he could exact answers from, one that didn’t lie at his own front door.

Absentmindedly, searching for soothing and knowing on a base level where it lived, Alex ran his fingers through Michael’s rain-soaked, sweat-soaked hair, stroking it away from his forehead. Blood was drying in rivulets now on Michael’s face and neck, and Alex followed the path of one with the tip of his finger, from the corner of his eye down his cheek.

How close had he come to losing him? If he’d been stuck in traffic, if he’d stopped for coffee on the way home, would it have been too late?

No. No thinking like that now. Stay in the moment.

“What do you need?” he asked Max, who finished off the acetone and tossed the bottle aside, reaching for Michael again.

“I think I won’t know until Michael wakes up again. If he does. If not…Isobel will be here soon.”

“When you heal, can you feel what it is you’re healing? Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

“Sort of?” Max’s hands began to glow again. “I’m healing burst blood vessels—all over his body. Internal scarring, almost like burns, it’s—bizarre.” He shuddered. “What I can feel from his head is separate, and I’ve never felt anything like it before.”

Michael shivered in Alex’s arms as Max placed his hands on his head again and filled his body with light, and Alex kept his eyes on Max, watching for any sign he was hitting his limit.

“How’s your heart?” He asked, though the concern flowed bitter and false over his tongue. Even at his coldest, most calculating, he wouldn’t bring himself to sacrifice Max outright, but if Max had to give his life to save Michael’s, would Alex truly stop him?

“I’ll live,” Max replied through gritted teeth.

Over by the door, Buffy rattled off a series of barks, getting louder and louder until the door slammed open. Alex flinched at the sound, hand flying to where his gun would be if he was wearing it, even though he knew with near-certainty who it would be.

“Where is he?” Isobel shouted, red-faced and panting as she rounded the corner into the living room, Buffy jumping and barking at her heels. “Michael!”

“Iz!”

The glow from Max’s hands faded, and he struggled almost to his feet, but Isobel was there before he stood fully, folding him into the hug he was trying to give her. Then Isobel reached for Michael, shoving Alex aside so she could cling to her brother, and Alex went.

She made a strangled noise when he was in her arms, limp and lifeless even after all Max’s effort.

“I’ll get more acetone. Maybe he’ll drink some,” Alex said, using the couch to pull himself to his feet.

Isobel continued to ignore him, but Max grabbed Alex’s wrist and said a quiet thank you as Alex left the siblings alone.

The bathroom door snicked closed behind Alex before he turned the light on, and in the dark he breathed in deep and deliberate until his lungs no longer caught on every inhale against his aching ribs, his galloping heart. He white-knuckled the sides of the sink to keep himself upright until the shaking stopped.

And when he checked all his welds and seams and found himself still watertight, he turned the light on, met his own eyes in the mirror, just once, and got back to business, grabbing the rest of the eight-pack of acetone.

Before he opened the door, his phone buzzed, and he flicked it open. It was a text from Forrest.

 Hey! Just got back to the hotel after dinner. Having a great time so far…but I keep thinking I’d have more fun with you here. How’s my girl doing? And how’s my man?

Alex’s thumb hovered over the keyboard for a few seconds, lips pressed together, head blank of anything to say. Then, a lump in his throat, he shut it down without replying, and headed back to Michael and the Evanses.

He breathed a little easier when he re-entered the room and was met with a different scene than before. Max and Isobel had Michael laid out on the couch—and Alex’s mind flashed back to the way Michael had disappeared and reappeared and what the fuck was that?—and he rested more peacefully than he had before. Color was coming back to his skin.

Isobel sat on the arm of the couch, stroking Michael’s hair off his forehead, while Max sat on the floor at the other end, back against the couch.

“Thank you, Alex,” Isobel said, acknowledging him for the first time.

Alex acknowledged her back with a nod, as Buffy paced from the couch to the door and back again a few times, finally settling with a whuff against Max, resting her head on his thigh, looking up at him with huge, soft eyes.

“Hey girl,” he said softly, petting her ears.

“How is he?” Alex asked.

“Alive. Sleeping.” Isobel ran her hand across his forehead again. “We’ll see where his mind is when he wakes up.”

Alex sat on the piano bench, folding his hands between his knees. “Max kept saying he’d never felt anything like this before. Can you describe it to me?”

She groaned and rubbed her temples, and Max nudged a bottle of acetone closer to her. “It’s almost like interference, but not. There’s nothing in there that isn’t Michael; he’s not possessed. But it’s like Michael’s been repeated. A thousand different Michaels all shouting at once. He’s quieter now. But…I don’t know.”

Watching Michael’s face, approaching peaceful in an unconsciousness Alex was too fearful to be fooled by, Alex spoke slowly, uncertainly.

“When you discovered you could use telekinesis alongside your other powers, what was that like? Was it spontaneous, or…?”

“Not really? Noah said that we all had the potential for much more than we imagined, and—after—I was so angry, I thought, if Michael can use his anger this way, why not me?” She shrugged an elegant shoulder. “So I wouldn’t call it spontaneous. I could always have done it, I just never thought to, until I did. Like knowing how to swim and learning a new stroke. I was clumsy at it at first, but I was just doing something I already knew how to do in a different way.”

“Hm.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Before you both got here, Michael was…”

“He called me. Like your psychic scream, Isobel, except he’s never done that before. And he kept emitting light. While I was healing him,” Max said, looking up at Isobel. “Flashes of light. Not electricity.”

“And before you got here, he—teleported. Only word for it. Something none of you have ever done.”

“What?”

Isobel grabbed Michael’s shoulder tightly, like he might disappear right in front of her, like she could stop him. Max just shook his head silently. He really did look awful, eyes red, dark bruises beneath them, a shakiness to him that hadn’t been there last time Alex saw him, some random Thursday when he brought marshmallows to Michael’s because he’d never actually had a smore that wasn’t made in the microwave. Maybe his condition came down to the rigors of saving someone’s life with your own, but considering how worried Michael had been for weeks, Alex thought not.

“I don’t know,” Alex said, dragging his hands over his face. “None of us know. We’re just talking in circles.”

“I guess we just have to wait for Michael to tell us,” Max said.

“Or we go beat it out of that bearded f—”

“No, Isobel.”

“You can’t keep defending him.” Her voice went high and loud, zero to a hundred. “Look what he’s done! He almost killed Michael, what is wrong with you?”

“I’m not defending him!” Max shot back, wounded. “I’m telling you not to go running off on some half-cocked vengeance scheme when Michael still needs you here! If he’s lost inside his own head somehow, there’s no one who can help him but you. We’ll deal with Jones later, when we know Michael is safe.”

Isobel growled but capitulated.

Not letting any ugly silence settle, Alex got up and said, “I’ll put some coffee on.”

They watched over Michael for all the rest of that evening and into the night, as the storm quieted and the sun set and Michael’s hair dried into a familiar halo of curls. At some point, Isobel brought Alex’s groceries in, half-ruined, and Max made dinner with whatever could be salvaged. While they worked, Alex sat with Michael in a chair pulled up to the couch where he lay, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest.

How close did they come to that chest being stilled forever? The answer was clear, splashed rust-red across Michael’s clothes, and Alex couldn’t stand it, couldn’t reconcile it, couldn’t balance the equation made by Michael this morning and Michael here, now, this.

Alex stood sharp, with a purpose, stood over Michael whose eyes moved rapid behind his lids, Michael who flushed with life but hadn’t lived since being healed, Michael who could so easily be an illusion of hope, snatched away in a second, snuffed out. Jerkily, Alex shot out a hand, then yanked it back, checked over his shoulder for Max or Isobel or—anyone—like a kid with a hand in the cookie jar. A touch so innocuous, necessary, even; Michael shouldn’t be forced to rest with dirty clothes; but. Was he allowed? Was the universe watching?

His hands were heavy; purpose and gravity worked on them, yet with a weightless almost-faith they remembered the hill and valley of Michael’s chest, the texture and temperature of his skin, the cartography, topography of loving him and being loved.

They started slowly. He eased up the hem of Michael’s ruined t-shirt with a pinch of fabric, without touching his body at all; he inched it up his back where it rested against the couch, until he ran out of room to work with cloth alone. The shirt bunched around his underarms.

Alex had no choice but to touch, so he did.

His hand still fit the circumference of Michael’s arm, and he lifted it. Michael moved without resistance, idle art in living warmth, velvet skin, liquid veins. Alex moved as if he was as delicate as glass. The second arm was no easier; Alex worked just as tenderly, every inch of his skin lit up with sensation. Leave no trace, like Michael’s body was some untouched scrap of woodland in Alex’s brief custody rather than the sweetly historied path toward home. But that was where Alex was right now, what time and choice made of them.

He pulled the shirt over Michael’s head, and it came away easy in his hands, and he went to his bedroom to get a new one.

The whole thing took less than a minute.

Michael slept on.

“Any change?” Max asked softly, handing Alex a plate of the dinner he’d already forgotten about. Buffy followed him from the kitchen, but she didn’t go after the food, opting for her bed beside the piano, where she continued to watch Max with adoring eyes. He didn’t comment on Michael’s shirt, for which Alex was pathetically grateful. In the kitchen, the water ran as Isobel did the dishes.

“No. Can…you sense any change? Through your bond, or through a handprint?”

“No. Maybe? When I first got here, he took up so much space, metaphorically, psychically, that it was almost hard to breathe. He feels more like himself now. Like he fits inside his body. So that’s probably good.”

“Probably,” Alex agreed.

The water shut off, and Isobel appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. “I’m going in,” she said flatly.

“What?” Max asked.

“His head. I’m going in. I need to see what he’s seeing; to try and pull him out. This?” she waved a hand at Michael. “Isn’t normal. Liz died and she wasn’t out this long. I’m going in to get our brother back.”

Take me with you? Alex almost said it, almost begged, as much a violation of trust as it would be to walk Michael’s mind uninvited. But as Max healed his body, as Isobel healed his mind, Alex was helpless to do anything, and he never wore helplessness well. It clawed its way out of him. It destroyed things if he failed to catch it in time.

But he held its leash tight, for now, and gave Isobel an equally tight nod.

“What do you need?”

“Space. No interruptions. It seems like you’ve got enough acetone”—five bottles were still left at the foot of the couch—“so I just need time.”

“You can have the guest bedroom,” Alex agreed.

He and Max carried Michael between them, sharing his weight. Some rearing and needy part of Alex wanted to do the work himself, bundle Michael in his arms and hold him close, but he’d already carried him once today, and Tylenol only went so far. Once he was situated on the bed, Max went to get acetone and water for Isobel.

Weak in the legs, Alex sat beside Michael’s head, never taking his eyes off him. He couldn’t; he wouldn’t. And neither was it a possibility for him to reach out and touch his hair, his forehead, his cheek, so he only watched.

In the door, Isobel cleared her throat. She held both liquids—Max had put them in different-colored cups—and set them on the bedside table before sitting on Michael’s other side.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Alex said, but made no move to go.

After a few seconds, Isobel made a frustrated noise and tossed her hair. “Whatever. You can stay.”

“I—really?”

“It’ll be boring, and if it freaks you out, you can’t interrupt. But yeah.” Alex opened his mouth to respond, but Isobel just held up a hand. “I don’t pretend to understand your weird alien soulmate bullshit. Yours or Max and Liz’s. And I don’t really care what your deal is with Forrest Long, but if you mess my brother around, I’ll end you.”

“I’m not—”

“Again, don’t care. I just know…” she softened. “…I just know how much you mean to Michael. So you can stay.”

Alex swallowed, the lump in his throat too big for him to answer with words, so he nodded, and Isobel nodded back.

“Okay. Starting now.”

Her eyes slipped closed as she lifted Michael’s hand and pressed it between both her own.

The world didn’t change; no power within Alex’s senses rippled between the two of them. Isobel wasn’t wrong to call it boring, as even the uncertain anxiety of what was transpiring in Michael’s head couldn’t keep his attention from wandering. Half an hour in, Max came into the room to stand beside the bed as well, and he clapped a hand on Alex’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, an attempt that reassured neither of them. But it was a brother’s touch, and that meant something.

In that room, throughout that silent ordeal, they were family. Alex was part of that family. It was a feeling he had no room on the shelves for; it fit in none of his boxes. He could barely comprehend it, so it sat in the center of the floor, and for a few hours, everything rearranged itself neatly around the new centerpiece of his world, like it was meant to be there all along.

The night deepened on, pain and exhaustion graying Alex’s vision. Discretion and strategy overtaking his determination, he was close to calling it quits and attempting a few hours of sleep when Isobel surfaced, bone white and nose bleeding as Max scrambled to hand her the acetone.

“Did it—”

Max didn’t even finish the sentence before, with a drowning, sucking gasp, Michael followed her out. Alex shouted, elation, shock, fear, everything, as Michael coughed and coughed until a clot of blood dislodged from his throat, guzzling the water that Alex passed him. His bloodshot eyes met Alex’s over the rim of the glass, confused and shocked, and Alex just nodded, trying to say without words everything that…just everything.

Everything.

On Michael’s other side, Isobel was laughing, breathless and triumphant.

“I’m going to kill you! I’m going to fucking kill you,” she wheezed, throwing herself into Michael’s arms.

Michael’s eyes fell shut as he rested his head against hers. “I know,” he rasped in return, but his lips pulled into a smile anyway. “I know.”

“Michael,” Max said weakly.

And Michael replied, “I know.”

Max rounded the bed to fold the both of them into a hug. Alex might have even joined them, if he wasn’t—he realized only now—shaking too badly to move. But in the midst of all the sensory overload, the misfiring nerves electrifying his helpless flesh, one sensation rang true.

Alex’s hands rested on the bed, stiff and motionless, until one of Michael’s crossed that untouched skin, light at first then more firmly, finger atop finger, knuckle nestled into soft palm, and Michael held his hand and gave it a squeeze, and Alex squeezed him back.

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