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#but this is motivating me to actually finish the episodes

brainworms-all-night-long · 5 months

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Hey what if I got possessed by the spirit of sonadow and rewrote the first interaction scene between Caitlyn and Vi for my Prime Arcane AU

[1,180 words]

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Nervousness gripped his entire being as the elevator numbers trickled upwards in negative numbers until they reached -40. It did not ease in the slightest once taking in a breath of the stale air and stepping into a gloomy corridor illuminated by weak, cold blue light. And in fact it only rose once the sound of repeated thuds echoing of the grimy walls reached his ears.

Still, he needed answers, and knowing he was close or at least finally had a tangible lead to get him to them, he solidified enough courage to walk all the way towards the source of the beating sound, behind a rusted, steel cell door.

The enforcer stood there in silence, getting the few glimpses allowed by the weak light at the prisoner who appeared to be beating into the harsh brick wall with bare hands and knees, unflinching. Sweat clumped together their dull blue fur and their quills bristled as they stilled, definitely alarmed now to Shadow's presence without him needing to say a word. They turned their head around silently, and green eyes glared through his head as they sneered at him.

Shadow let his own features harden and braced for the interrogation. As said he needed answers, and he won't budge until he gets them.

"I checked through everything available. There seems to exist no tangible record on you."

The prisoner, a blue hedgehog with either what seemed to be a scar or a tattoo of a crooked S on their cheek, bloodied knuckles and knees wrapped in dirty bandages, and messy quills turned to fully face him. He seemed to quickly size him up and down with a flick of his eyes and then began to slowly pace inside of the empty cell.

Shadow took all of the currently discernable information about the other as he ran through the questions in his head one last time.

"What did they lock you up for."

No answer. He simply continued to circle around like a hungry wolf stuck in a cage, eyes looking on and away from him, each time sending a death glare more prominently than the last.

Not a talker then huh.

"You attacked a cellmate. Why?"

He merely shrugged, at least something to confirm they were simply being difficult on purpose and not def.

"He was a witness for an ongoing investigation."

Still bouncing wall to wall, the blue hedgehog threw their head back with a toothy smirk as if proud of themselves.

Shadow's patience was running thin but honestly, he should've expected a prisoner that seemingly beats a wall for fun would be a headache. That silent cockiness was also getting on his nerves.

He gripped his notebook tighter as a means of keeping himself grounded, a cool head was needed for this and he needed to think more thoroughly..

Lost in his head for what was probably a bit too long, he was startled by a sudden bang on the cell door.

Quills bristling, mouth turning to a comically deep scowl, and eyes bulging wide he barely managed to keep himself from jumping back.

Quickly leveling his expression down again, he feigned being unimpressed and stared at the blue hedgehog now plastered onto the cell door with a wide shit-eating grin on his face.

Illuminated by the light just a bit more, his irises were eerely small and eyes sunken while patches of their fur were visibly missing, damaged, broken up by scars and smeared with grime and dried blood.

It took everything in him to keep his expression neutral.

Upon locking eyes with the blue prisoner, he suddenly burst out laughing. But it was a hoarse, disgusting laugh, as if he hadn't used his voice for years, let alone laughed out loud in such a manner as now.

Shadow failed the battle with his facial muscles and finally grimaced as the prisoner transitioned into a coughing fit. Gross, dry coughing and wheezing filled the endless corridor for a few seconds before he simply smiled at him, yet the eyes had all but disdain and indifference behind them.

But he acknowledged Shadow's presence properly at least. It was a chance, maybe.

Shadow looked to the floor where a worn-out red line dictated the distance one must keep from the cell. With a collected sigh, he stepped over it while opening his notebook. Maybe the notes could jog some cooperative reaction while he presented his questions differently.

"Do these symbols look any familiar to you?"

The prisoner, who glanced at him from the middle of the cell where he had just a second ago was holding onto the doors again in a blink of an eye, with a bewildered, questioning look flickering between the pages and Shadow's face.

"I take that as a yes."

Being startled a second time, the enforcer collected himself again.

"Does the name 'Eggman' or 'Ivo' ring any bells?"

The hedgehog hesitantly nodded as he glared at the words just the tiniest bit.

Finally getting somewhere.

"I have a suspicion he was the one who correlated a recent attack on the city, which killed half a dozen enforcers."

The haunting look in the hedgehog's eyes did not leave the notebook for a second as his breathing grew heavier.

"I however need proof to back up my claims." Shadow continued as he closed the pages, directing the other hedgehog's attention to his face and words instead.

The other slowly shrugged their shoulders while giving a nod, but then rattled the bars and motioned both with his head and thumb to the side with, and Shadow is perhaps seeing things, a hopeful glimmer in his eye.

He took a second to understand the gesture, feeling like he needed an actual confirmation.

"You want me to let you..out of the cell?"

The hedgehog gave the most confident nod as of yet, but Shadow thought it the most outlandish. There was no guarantee a Stillwater prisoner won't just run away to cause more havoc the second he blinks or lets his guard down.

"You take me for an insane person? No way I'm trusting someone like you."

The blue hedgehog scoffed, with his face quickly morphing into disgust as he spat to the ground near the door, it didn't hit either of them, but the message was clear.

Without further interaction, he let go of the bars and retrieved back into the darkness of the cell.

The enforcer grimaced again. It seems any chance of further negotiation is over. He turned to leave, a million thoughts a minute running through his head until he paused for a second.

Did he have anyone else to turn to for this? This was the best bet he had and probably will ever get.

What he was about to do was stupid yes, but if it was meant to help people and stop the attacks then maybe...

Shadow continued on his way out, breathing deeply in an attempt to cool off and settle on a new goal.

Good thing that he has just the friend to make a bail of the blue hedgehog possible.

#prime arcane #bro idk what the fuk happeneeddddd #this came to me suddenly #i was just liste ing to dinasties and distopia my head wandered and somehow eneded up with the will to write this whole thing #sonic is mute btw #after the whole Episode Three incident my boi wa straumatized ok #for narrative reasons he only ever starts talking when he briefly gets reunited with Ta- I mean Nine later #and shadow wishes he indeed stayed silent cuz his ass is Insufferable #i actually had a lot of fun writing with sonic being a mute little shit while having the interaction yield the same results as the show #this was the most sudden burst of motivation Ive ever ahd in my entire life this will not jappen ever again #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #crossover #me when I finish writing #sonic prime #arcane

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that-was-anticlimactic · 2 years

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tagged by @smilehoneyy !!! thank you for the tag, beloved <3

favorite color: purple / grey because i literally cannot choose between them

currently reading: uhhhh well,i just finished reading what is currently out of the sxf manga iouygtfgyhujiuhyg it was very good, massive brainrot lol

last song: “the red vineyard” from the musical “starry” lol

last series: uhhh, well, i’m in the middle of bna, had to take a break because uh. i wasn’t in a great headspace lol - prolly going to continue tomorrow or friday tbh but i was just watching “psych” while i made friendship bracelets iuygfcvgbhjihbg

last movie: oh gosh uhhhh, oH the mlp movie during work last week kiuhgyvfcgvhujihugv but also emperor’s new groove with grace like. a couple days before that lol

currently working on: well, i am attempting to work on my j.inzula week oneshot so. that’s something i’m freaking trying to get done haha and then r.eki’s birthday is the eighth so obviously i’m working on that, then an i.tafushi fic, gen week fic... oH my n.anami oneshot still because it’s getting. long. oops. uhhh... i have a lot of stuff partially written right now lol

tagging whoever wants to do this <3

#corey rambles:)#please motivate me #i'm hoping that typing this out motivates me to finish that oneshot lol #i think that imma actually go back and rewatch a couple of the last #few episodes i watched of b.na because. i definitely like idk cried through them or was just so empty inside that i couldn't focus and i #barely remember what happened oops but i do want to finish it soon!!!

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witchywitchy · 4 months

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I wanted to share something personal because I don't think a lot of you understand the influence of the West and its atrocities on an Arab child's upbringing. English is not my first language; I learnt it initially due to my interest in the language and Western cultures. However, seeing the true face of the West motivated me to continue learning the language to dismantle the false image of Arabs and Muslims which was portrayed by the West. I also talk about how this impacted my standing with the Palestinian cause. Bear with me as this post is long and a little messy, but I need to try and give everyone a clear and full image as much as I can.

I grew up consuming Western media due to my fascination with the English language. However I noticed the lack of Muslim and Arab representation.

When I started seeing representation later on, it was mostly Arabs and Muslims being depicted as 'terrorists' and 'barbarics'.

When a Muslim woman is depicted, she is depicted as 'oppressed' and in need of 'saving'.

I was on social media starting from a very young age. Seeing people online describe my people as 'terrorists' was not only scary, but also confusing. Why am I as an Arab Muslim child -who's living a normal childhood as everyone else- being labelled as a 'terrorist' by the West? Why are people claiming all Arab and Muslim children are trained to use guns by ISIS or/and Hamas? I remember asking my parents as a kid "Is this a real gun with the police officer?" Because I only saw weapons in movies.

I asked questions such as "Why do they think Arabs = Muslims?" The lack of acknowledgment of Christian and Jewish Arabs and non-Arab Muslims confused me.

Why were Muslim women always 'oppressed' in these movies and TV shows I saw? This is not as common as they make it seem. Why are they using the struggle of some Muslim women to demonize an entire religion? Why are they pretending to be saviours when they're actually contributing to further oppression of Muslim women? Why are they weaponizing the awful struggle of some Muslim women against the vast majority of Muslim women? (White feminism is not saving us. It's actually a form of oppression of Muslim women)

Misrepresentation bothered me and made me angry and disappointed. I couldn't finish watching a movie or an episode of a TV show if I saw any mentions of Muslims or/and Arabs, because I knew what would happen next.

When it comes to the Palestinian cause, every Arab grew up watching endless footage of Palestinians being brutally murdered LIVE. Everything and all the footage all of you are surprised to see during this genocide, were a part of our upbringing.

When I was a kid I stumbled upon a newspaper in the house with a headline about a Palestinian father who returned to his house and found all his children shot. And I remember the image very well. The father was holding a prayer mat with people holding him as he broke down on his knees. His dead children were on the floor next to each other. Seeing this image of children my age murdered by the Israeli occupation shocked me. I remember my parents having to hide the newspaper from me because of the impact this image had on me.

I had to start reading into politics at a young age, and I realized that everything that Western media was trying to portray about the West being 'civilized' was a lie. How can you be civilized if you're a murderer or/and contribute to the murder of the innocent?

When I learnt about the history of imperialism, colonialism, slavery,...etc. growing up, I recognized the pattern that colonialists use and I saw that the colonizers of yesterday, are the same as today, except Western media is doing a great job covering for them nowadays, and a lot of people only started noticing that recently.

The West seemed fascinating to me as a child, but after seeing the horrendous false images that're being portrayed of my people in the West, all of my fascination turned into anger and motivation to fight against it.

The real terrorists in the world are not the brown and bearded men, veiled women, or the innocent children. The real terrorists are the ones who set the stage for the murder of innocent people, the exploitation of their resources, using propaganda and painting an image of the innocent that cannot be more false and racist, and the fascists that put on a 'civilized' mask.

I will forever stand with my Palestinian brothers and sisters. I will forever defend my Arab and Muslim brothers and sisters, and I won't give room to any misrepresentation. Enough is enough.

Edit: I wanted to add that growing up, I was scared of telling people about where I'm from, my religion, and what language I speak due to the microaggression and discrimination I was subjected to. Not to mention the amount of times I saw on the news Arabs or/and Muslims getting killed in Western countries (aka hate crimes).

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scoobydoodean · 1 year

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Sam literally has no idea who Dean is starting out in Season 1. I know we all say this all the time... but rewatching 1.03 Dead In The Water last night, it isn't just that Sam thinks that Dean doesn't like kids. It's also how in the same episode, when Dean decides not to take the out the sheriff gave them and turns around to check on Lucas and his mom, Sam is like, "Who are you and what have you done with my brother??"

And that combined with 1.02 "Saving People, Hunting Things, the Family Business" makes me think like. Oh. Sam really doesn't understand why Dean hunts at all. He has no idea that Dean actually cares about the victims and his primary directive is protecting people he doesn't even know because he loves them—because Dean loves everyone and wants to give them what he can't have. Dean is so conflated with John in Sam's mind that they're virtually the same person to him, and apparently in this situation, John would have taken the out and prioritized protecting their family from the law over making sure the hunt was finished.

This is literally Sam's first time ever hunting one-on-one with Dean and not Dean&John. So every time he's ever hunted with Dean, it was John's plan and John's principles and John's prime directive. Sam never understood that just because Dean followed orders, his own motivations were not the same as their fathers. He never understood Dean's actions as anything other than an extension of their father's feelings and will.

#1.02 #1.03 #pk rewatches spn number ?#winter hunger #<- blacklist for previous copies #the one who cares #dean the narrative heart #deans moral compass #season 1 #john #the flannel business #we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone #i dont deserve what he put on me

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vroomvroomcircuit · 20 days

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Drive all Night

(A/N): This is inspired by the song "Call your mom" by Noah Kahan.

Summary: Max is worried about the sudden shift in his best friends behavior. But he is willing to drive all night to get to the root of the problem.

Pairing: Max Verstappen x fem!reader (little childhood friends to lovers on the side with angst/hurt to comfort)

Warnings: Association to Max's shitty childhood, reader has depression/a depressive episode, implicit mentions of suicide, listen to the song and you get the vibe

Wordcount: 2.4k

🏎Masterlist🏎 ________________________

Max Verstappen is not a big worrier. Actually, he is no worrier at all.

When there is something to worry about, he just changes it. If he can’t change it, it’s out of his area of responsibility, so he doesn’t have to worry about it.

Thinking like that helped him focus through great challenges. But his mindset wasn’t the only motivator. Through all his highest highs and lowest lows, his best friend has been right next to him, either cheering him on or being the shoulder to cry on he just needed.

(Y/N) and him befriended each other in kindergarten, having felt this unexplainable pull to each other. Ever since playing with Legos together for the first time they had been inseparable if they could help it.

Of course, as they got older and Max’s career in karting took off and (Y/N) had to focus more on school, they started to shift to calling and texting more than relying on in person talking. But that didn’t stop them staying best friends. One might even argue that through their 24/7 updates to each other, they grew even closer.

Meeting in person in their adulthood had become increasingly easier. Sometime (Y/N) travels with Max to several races back to back, being blessed with a remote working job.

The young man starts to suspect something isn’t going smoothly during one of their daily face time calls with her being in her dark bedroom and him in a hotel room halfway across the world. “But enough of how annoying these marketing things are. What did you do today? Except for work of course.” Max just finished another yapping season about the last challenge the social media teams had him participate in.

(Y/N) just shrugs her shoulders while focusing on a loose thread in her shirt. “Nothing much. I reread pride and prejudice.” Max halts a bit in his rummaging through his suitcase, being on the look out for his charger. “I thought you had plans for lunch with a friend? And didn’t you read through that book last week already? You do know that no matter how often you read it, the ending will stay the same.” He jokes a bit.

While still not shifting her gaze towards the phone screen, (Y/N) answers in mumbles. “I canceled on her. I really felt icky today, but we will try to set up another meet up some time next week or so.”

At first Max doesn’t think of it as much. Everyone feels not like socializing every one in a while. But then something else changes. The frequency of their calls and texts.

“...here we can do- Max? Are you even listening to me?” Max gets caught off guard by that question. GP was going over some points with him before starting FP2. “Oh, uhm, sorry GP. Gimme three seconds, I just want to reply to (Y/N). It seems like she didn’t have a great day and I just want to make sure she’ll be alright until I’m out of the car.”

This makes his race engineer raise his eyebrows. “Oh, what happened?” “I don’t know. But she is rewatching one of her comfort shows for the third time in two weeks.” He blinks at the Dutchman. “And in what way is that concerning?”

Okay, voicing his worrisome thoughts out loud like that makes Max realize that the signs are not too obvious for outsiders. But he is talking about his best friend. The person that always makes sure that he won’t go without his needed amount of sleep. The same person he had been having phone calls that resulted in four out of the last seven nights with him getting not more than 5 hours of sleep, if that at all.

For an outsider it doesn’t seem bad for (Y/N) to reread the same books and rewatch the same shows over and over again. Or having her best friend, the person she became emotionally most dependent on, talk with her through her nights.

But for Max, it raises red flags. It hits his alarm bells, ringing out loud that something is majorly wrong. He can’t put his finger on it, not just yet. He is still looking for a way to get her to tell him what is bothering her.

There is a certain uneasiness to Max during that entire race weekend. He is just itching to seat his ass on a plane on his way back to his (Y/N), a friend that he might harbor more than just platonic feelings for. A person that had his back all the time.

To the person he loves the most, that is also struggling the most right now.

He wants to be able to pay her back for all the times she stuck through his darkest times.

But something in him is scared that he isn’t able to get to her in time. “Didn’t you want to go out with a colleague of yours for drinks last night?” Max asks into the phone while speed walking through the airport. Ever since leaving his hotel room on this fine Monday morning, he has been on a phone call with (Y/N).

A sigh greets his ears. “I wanted to, but I didn’t feel like dressing up or sharing a space with a bunch of strangers. I just ordered some food in and watched your race.”

There is another red flag. (Y/N) maybe was never a big socializer to begin with, but she liked going out every now and then. But for a couple of weeks now the only thing Max gets to hear about plans is that she canceled them.

Listening to her just cutting contact with the outside world like that, it doesn’t only worry him. It’s not even scary. It terrifies him.

The two of them continue talking the whole plane ride until (Y/N) falls asleep. Even then Max doesn’t hang up. He still lets the call continue, not wanting her to wake up and feel alone. She doesn’t deserve to feel alone.

No one does. But especially not her.

When he was in karting, some kids gave him grief for winning most of the time. It was difficult for little Max to understand. So do people not want him to win?

It became more confusing to him since some people around him wanted him to win desperately. It hurt him, not understanding the difference of who wanted his best and who wanted to see him fail.

He felt isolated from his peers, especially those who should understand under what pressure he was, because they must feel the same. Right?

During these days, where he rather stopped driving in circles in a very fast manner and just continued playing football, (Y/N) was his only footing. She talked him out of ending his career in motorsport. She painted a picture of his future in the prettiest colors with her words. She gave him something to look forward during these trying times.

And when it got harder before it got easier, she held his hand and reminded him that she will always stay by his side.

Now it’s Max’s turn to show her that he will always stay by her side.

He opens the door to her apartment slowly, trying to make the least noise possible.

Every room is shrouded in what must feel to her like a never ending darkness. The blinds are drawn in front of every window, hindering the tiniest bit of sunlight to filter through. Even to Max it feels like the despair that is in the air will never stop. It is all consuming.

He tiptoes towards her bedroom. There she lays, illuminated by the low light of his phone screen. Curled up tight under a bunch of blankets and between a mountain of pillows and stuffed animals.

The MV lion, the first one that has ever been produced, the original prototype before giving the go for mass production, is held tightly and close to her chest. It pulls on his heartstrings, seeing the comfort it must have brought her while he was absent.

Max kneels down at the head of the bed, gently shaking her awake. “Schatje, come on. Wake up. We got a day of new adventures just in front of us outside the door.”

It’s something they started to say in elementary school. They once read a book in class with the premise that every day is the start to a new adventure. You just have to welcome it in. Back then, when inviting something unknown in your life was considered exciting, not scary or life changing.

“The adventures can wait a day longer.” She mumbles and turns around, trying to shake his hand on her shoulder off. But Max is having none of it.

“The darkness is fooling you. Every light that has been turned off can be turned on.” He gets up and opens the blinds. Sunlight floods the room, and even at the messiest state the young man has seen his best friend, she still is the most beautiful woman on earth to him

(Y/N) lets out a noise of unpleasantness. “Please Max, I can’t deal with it today.” “No, you will. We are going to deal with it, whatever this it is, together.” He marches over to her dresser and produces a clean set of clothes out of thin air. That is what it looks like to her in this mess at least.

“You are going to shower. After that we will take a drive with no destination.” His words are final and in a tone that makes the young woman drag her limbs and body out of the bed and trudge towards the bathroom, even when the unwillingness is evident by her groaning.

Hearing the shower is Max’s cue to sit down and take a deep breath. He doesn’t know what he expected, but seeing the light of life missing in (Y/N)’s eyes isn’t on that list. It feels like a punch to his gut, witnessing her wither away without knowing from what.

It doesn’t take long and they both sit in the car. A drive without destination is exactly what it says. Just Max driving with (Y/N) sitting in the passenger seat. Usually they used these trips to catch up, to talk about everything and nothing. To voice big philosophical thoughts and dumb brain farts. They started this tradition, that usually includes some sort of fast food, when Max got his drivers license.

But sitting in complete silence for five minutes straight. That is something new.

“You know,” Max breaks it after another seven minutes. “Not talking about it won’t make the problem go away. It also doesn’t hinder it in its existence. Instead it will just get heavier and heavier until you break under the weight.” His dry tone isn’t something she anticipated.

(Y/N) looks out the window, seeing the colorful sunset for the first time in weeks. It’s easy to forget the beauty of the world when your inside thoughts feel like a graveyard. “I don’t want to worry you.”

That admission nearly has the Dutchman emergency breaking in the middle of a street through the fields. “So you play cat and mouse with your feelings because you don’t want to worry me?” (Y/N) nods.

Max lets out a laugh. “So what exactly makes you think that me witnessing you just becoming a shell of who you once were won’t worry me?”

She shrugs. (Y/N) didn’t expect him to catch that something feels wrong in her.

“Schatje. I will always worry about you, You are too important to me to not worry about you. Seeing you wither away in yourself, it made me scared going out on these tracks, sitting down in the car, and wondering if you still breathe while I’m driving another mile. Not knowing what you feel, that worries me more than the truth. Because then we can work on getting you better together. But when you don’t let me in, I can’t help and feel like by just standing and witnessing without intervening that I’m at fault for anything that happens to you. It hurts more seeing you hurting than knowing what you hurt from.”

She turns towards Max, mustering his side profile. She hasn’t thought about how her actions are perceived by her surroundings. (Y/N) just fell into that hole of darkness unexpectedly. While sitting at the bottom of that somber pit, she thought that trying to reach out for help would mean another person gets pulled into it.

If there was one person she doesn’t want sitting next to her in that dark hole, then it is Max. She harbors too much love and affection for him to want him to suffer the same fate as her. So not talking about her darkest thoughts seemed like the best way of keeping him far away from the hole.

But it just drew him in closer.

(Y/N) finally sees what he saw the whole time.

“You know, it’s hard to explain what happened. It takes time to really understand what goes on in me right now.” Max puts a reassuring hand on her leg. “We have all night to talk about it. Help me help you. Let us find a strategy to get you better. May it be medication, meditation, punching me or falling in love with someone. I need you to find a reason to stay with me, physically and mentally.”

She puts a hand over hers and looks Max in the eye for the first time since he arrived. “I already fell in love.”

He doesn’t need to hear more.

Max keeps his promise. He drives through the night, holding (Y/N) to the best of his ability while she cries, curses and explains.

By that not everything is picture perfect again. But it’s the first step. The first one to a future they both want to share with each other. For now and ever, that is enough motivation for (Y/N) to keep going, to continue turning every light on that was off.

#max verstappen image #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen x fem!reader #x reader #x fem!reader #x you #reader insert

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wild-lavender-rose · 2 months

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Hey guys, I thought I’d try to make a list like the one I’ve seen a few times on here. I’ve been really struggling to get the motivation to do some important things and to feel a wave of support behind me would help so much. I’ll even post pictures/proof of some kind that I’m doing the things so that you can feel the wonderful effect of helping someone get on top of their life :) I only seem to get notes on the fics I write, so my expectations are very low, but here goes

10 notes- I’ll start playing the piano again.

25 notes- I’ll finally finish my to-do list (it includes things like clean my hamster babies, update my calendar, buy a test I have to take to graduate college, etc)

50 notes- I’ll pull a late night/all-nighter to get completely caught up in my assignments

75 notes- I’ll thoroughly clean every part of my house.

100 notes- I’ll apply to 30 jobs so that I can make more money and not be so financially stressed.

200 notes- I’ll start writing a poem a day.

300 notes- l’ll finish fixing the links on my main, do maintenance on my other blogs and start three new blogs that I’ve been wanting to start forever but haven’t had the courage to (it involves posting my art that I’m self-conscious about)

500 notes- I’ll redo my formal wardrobe so that i can actually feel like who I am/who I’ve worked so hard to become when I’m dressed up.

750 notes- I’ll finally start my side blog business that terrifies me but is the beginning of the life I always wanted.

1k notes- I’ll start writing the fantasy book series that everyone (professors, friends, family etc) says has a high chance of getting published.

2k notes- I’ll record and post my first podcast episode (also something that excites and terrifies me because it would be the beginning of everything).

3k notes- don’t do this to me but…if I get to 3k I’ll stop doing the two things that are bad/addictive/potentially fatal in my life, tell my s/o about it, and get professional help.

Anything beyond that- I don’t really know, completing these things would be such a life altering experience. I’ll invest serious effort into ensuring I maintain this new life style? I’m not sure, but I’ll definitely do something significant to show my appreciation for that much support :)

Thank you so much for your help, it truly means so much to me.

#laurel speaks #goals

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xzaddyzanakinx · 22 days

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Thoughts on Anakin being with someone else that also has bpd?

Disaster Zone: domestic violence, abuse

He would both love and hate that his partner was clingy. He wouldn’t feel abandoned or worried they’d leave. He would feel suffocated. He would feel like they have ulterior motives because there’s no way someone could love as big as he can love.

He would be paranoid that it’s all a sinister plot to destroy him, break his heart and ruin his image.

He’d try to be rational. He’d try to appreciate that you’re practically glued to his hip. He’d shove down the feeling of being trapped and recategorize it as a bear hug of love (that keeps getting tighter and tighter until you’ll squeeze his head off). He’d attempt to be understanding, after all who better to understand your behaviors? He’s the BPD king.

He’s so conflicted because all he’s ever wanted was to be loved deeply, cherished, held close to someone’s heart. But now that he’s actually got that? He misses being horrifically lonely. He misses the drama of fighting for love. It doesn’t feel real because he doesn’t have to work for it.

He’d start to have episodes over little things to avoid the bigger issue.

You’re chewing too loud?

‘Can you shut your goddamn mouth? God that’s disgusting.’ He’d say as he shoves your plate away from you.

You’re wearing something that he used to love seeing you in, but now it just reminds him of before. Before he started to doubt you.

‘You still have that?’ He scoffs. ‘No I don’t like it, it makes you look fat. Take it off, go change. I’m not going out with you looking like that.’

You promised him spaghetti but realized too late that you only have bow-tie pasta?

He walked into the kitchen, sliding an arm around your waist to hug you while you stand at the stove.

‘What’s that? That’s not what I asked for.’ He said annoyedly.

‘We didn’t have the right noodles Ani.’ You’d snap back.

‘You could’ve called me. I drove right past the dollar store.’ He released your waist and moved you away from the stove with a careless shove.

‘It’s still pasta! I didn’t think it’d be a big deal!’ You scowled, crossing your arms, your face heating up as your sadness bubbles into anger. ‘What the fuck is your problem lately?’

‘Well it is a big deal because it’s NOT WHAT I FUCKING ASKED FOR!’ He turned around holding up the wooden spoon you had been using to stir with. ‘You never listen to me. How hard is it to listen? What do I have to do, huh?’ He jerked toward you like he was going to bring the spoon down across your face.

‘Go on, I’ll finish this.’ He growled, lowering the spoon and turning around to finish up dinner.

As you walked away you thought you heard: ‘stupid bitch.’ Muttered under his breath.

You asked him what he was doing?

Anakin had just gotten home an hour ago, took a shower, changed into some sweatpants sans tshirt and he had his half empty cigarette pack in his hand, rhythmically tapping the pack against the counter top while he search the junk drawer for a lighter.

‘What’re you doing?’ you asked with a laugh.

‘What’s it look like?’ He grumbled. ‘Someone keeps moving my shit around.’ He turned to shoot a quick glare over his shoulder at you.

‘What? I never touch your smokes.’ You scoffed, a puzzled look on your face. ‘Did you check your work jacket?’

‘Did I check- yes! Yes I fucking checked it, I’m not an idiot.’ He snapped, finally finding a spare lighter, he turned on his heel and pointed it toward you. ‘Go find it. I know you moved it, it’s cause you don’t like when I smoke inside isn’t it?’

‘No!’ You stood up and went over to his work jacket and fished around in the pockets, finding it almost immediately you held it up and shook it at him. ‘I don’t care that you smoke inside! Jesus, here!’ You tossed it at him.

‘You did that on purpose!’ He caught the lighter as it smacked his chest. ‘You just wanted to make me feel stupid.’ He sneered, turning around to go out to the back deck to smoke instead of sitting in his recliner.

You returned to your spot on the couch and mumbled something he didn’t quite catch.

‘You back talking me?’ He snorted, whipping his arm out to the side to chuck the extra lighter at the back of your head.

He’d be so happy initially, then all those feelings and insecurities would eat him up inside until it was a blow up so massive that the cops get called by the neighbors.

You slipped into bed for the night next to Anakin, he scooted over to let you have your extra room to sprawl out in. He’d already turned on the show you two had been watched recently so he laid the remote on his chest and slipped his arm under your head to get comfy.

You on the other hand, couldn’t get comfortable. It was hot, the fan was on but wasn’t on the right setting. The blankets were too hot so you kicked them off, but it left your feet cold. Anakin laughed at your struggle to get cozy and you smacked his arm lightly, playfully. But he didn’t seem to think it was funny. His laughter died down and his jaw clenched tightly.

Finally you’d settled down and Anakin had begun to drift off to sleep, when you shifted again, pulling yourself against his chest and nuzzling against him.

‘Jesus.’ He scoffed, pushing you off of him, he stood up and yanked his pillow out from underneath your head.

‘What’s wrong? Where are you going?’ You asked, concern and confusion lacing your tone.

‘Shut up.’ He grumbled as he walked to the bedroom door.

‘Wh- did you just tell me to-‘

‘Yeah I did.’ He snapped, his hand on the bedroom door. ‘So shut your damn mouth. I don’t want to hear it. You’re grating on my last nerve.’

‘What? Why? What did I do?’ Your rapid fire questions only serving to cause yourself panic and pour lighter fluid on his flame of anger.

‘Everything!’ He yelled, ‘everything! Everything you do pisses me off! Just shut the hell up and leave me alone!’

‘I’m sick of you! Never a moment of peace! You’re always hanging off me like some sad little bitch baby.’ He snarled, ‘so damn clingy! I can’t even go sleep on the couch without it being a goddamn interrogation!’

He whipped the bedroom door open and stormed out with you following close behind him, you grabbed the pillow and tore it out of his hand.

‘You’re not sleeping on the couch! Just talk to me! Tell me what-‘

You couldn’t finish your sentence before he swung around and connected his knuckles to your cheek, a sickening *thunk* rang out as the shock out what he’d just done settled in.

Pls don’t hate me for this, I know that no one wants to think of Ani as being abusive, I also know that some people will be offended that I’ve used BPD in correlation with domestic violence. But to be perfectly clear!!! I have BPD and I 100% believe that this and worse would happen in an Ani x BPD reader situation.

#star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars #anakin x you #sw anakin #darth vader #darth vader smut #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction

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poisonpercy · 4 months

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Ok just finished the 3rd episode of the show. From a completely outside perspective without comparing it to the books, it’s a fine episode. The writing does fall flat imo, and it doesn’t keep my attention. It’s also still very hard to see what’s happening when it’s supposed to be dark. When will Hollywood let dark scenes be visible again?

Ok, now for more specific thoughts:

The scene with the Oracle sucked in my opinion. Idk it just seemed so much more grander in the book. The scene in the show lacked the mystic and off putting nature of the Oracle, so it kinda just didn’t work for me. I did like that they remembered that Gabe was the voice of the Oracle in tlt, so that was nice

How Percy chooses his quest mates in the show is different in the show than in the books. This isn’t a bad thing, but I do miss Annabeth volunteering herself to be Percy’s 3rd quest mate like she does in the books. Idk I just think it really showed her eagerness to prove herself and get a quest. The show scene doesn’t do that, but I’m not mad at the change

The interaction between Grover and Percy when Percy tells Grover he was chosen to go on the quest was so cute. I love those 2 boys. Besties for life

Percy telling Luke that he thinks the drachmas are from Chuck E. Cheese was hilarious

With Luke in mind, I love how manipulative he is. Like he is so nice, but it’s because he has ulterior motives. I do like that his manipulation is not overt, so you don’t know that he’s the one that ultimately betrays Percy

I personally didn’t find the “she met a pine cone’s fate” line that Percy said funny. It honestly came off kind of rude. It’s definitely something that Percy would say in ttc when Thalia and him are beefing, but not when he finds out about her death. Percy is supposed to be kind and empathetic, and he shows so much sympathy for Thalia and her fate when he hears her story in the book. Idk just felt like that line was ooc during this moment in time

Grover’s song was so cute and funny, it had me cracking up fr

Percy trying to get all of them to vote throughout the episode is hilarious. My boy just wants to have a say in things

Annabeth grabbing all that candy was perfect. It really shows she’s just a 12 year old girl that didn’t get to experience the joys of childhood (also, I feel like overall that the show is forgetting that Annabeth is not a stoic character. Like she very much acts her age. I hope the writers let Annabeth have more personality in later episodes)

I miss the book fight sequence with the furies on the bus. It was so chaotic and there was so much tension. Percy steering the bus and crashing it and the bus exploding was perfect, and I’m sad that they got rid of that in the show. The fight scene in the show was just so underwhelming. I feel like those should be the knock out moments of the episodes but they breeze past them so fast and give no tension. It just falls flat (curse you Mickey Mouse!! I know it’s your fault!)

I do appreciate that Grover keeps trying to diffuse the fights between Annabeth and Percy. They are both his friends, and he can see why they keep butting heads. If only the 2 would listen to him

I do miss how the trio finds Auntie Em’s in the book. Like Annabeth and Percy were dumbass 1 and 2 that followed their stomachs while Grover freaked the fuck out. That was so fun. The show had Grover find and follow the smell instead which is fine, but the og scene was better imo

That being said, they guessed that it was Medusa way too quickly in the show. I like the mystery of Auntie Em’s identity in the book better tbh

“I definitely trust my mom” <- Percy exceeds the momma’s boy standards

I don’t mind the change to Medusa’s character. I actually really enjoyed her (the actresses voice is so gorgeous and calming). I like how she’s like “we’re not our parents until we choose to be them.” It really sets up the ultimate direction of the series imo

Regarding the fight scene with Medusa, it sucked. To begin with, you can hardly see what’s happening bc it’s so dark. Also there was no tension or chaos. It kind of just happened? I also didn’t like that Medusa was killed when Annabeth’s cap was on her. I know it’s because Disney probably thought the death would have been too graphic or whatever, but I would have liked to see what happened

It was cool that Percy used Medusa’s head to kill Alecto

I felt so many emotions when Grover said “He’s not like the others. He doesn’t look afraid” about his Uncle Ferdinand

The beginnings of Percy’s and Annabeth’s friendship is so good. Annabeth not taking the deal with Alecto to give Percy over and killing her sister. Percy not taking Medusa’s offer to get rid of Annabeth and Grover so he can save his mother. It’s perfect. They’re going to become each other’s chosen person and they don’t even know it yet

LMM as Hermes jump scare. Still not a fan of the Hermes casting

Anyways, overall the show just isn’t working for me. I do appreciate Walker, Leah, and Aryan because they are perfect. They are honestly doing such a great job! The writers, however, are not. I’m trying so hard to think of this show as its own entity so I can enjoy it more, but I haven’t been able to so far. Despite that, I am excited to see where the show ends up going (even if I end up not liking it)

#pjo adaptation #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #skys post

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 4 days

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Killua and the Power of Wishes

Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.

As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.

One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.

Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.

Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.

Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.

To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.

I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.

Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.

What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.

[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]

This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.

When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.

[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]

It's such an innocent, simple want.

And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.

In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:

Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."

Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)

Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."

And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!

So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.

10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.

Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.

It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.

Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).

"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"

The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.

Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?

Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]

Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.

And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.

This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.

It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.

[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]

I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.

However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.

Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.

[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]

I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.

But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.

Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]

Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?

Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.

[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]

Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".

I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.

...holy shit, kid.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]

And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(

What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.

In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.

Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]

Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.

Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.

They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:

As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course

Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo

I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.

Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.

The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.

So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.

Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.

It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.

Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.

Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]

Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.

Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.

Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.

And Alluka tears into him for it.

[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]

You tell him, girl.

Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?

"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.

Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.

And neither should Killua.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]

It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.

Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.

And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]

...she doesn't even have to think about it.

I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.

#oh my god this was supposed to be a brief write-up what happened 😭#ugh i feel like this is a bit of a mess and there's infinite other little points i could've made or elaborated on or interpreted differentl #but i'm so tired lmao #anyways tldr fuck you illumi you suck #killua is a snarky little shit but he also has so much love in his tiny body and i think we should appreciate him forever and ever #this also accidentally turned into alluka and nanika appreciation. i love them #nanika sweet angel i love you so much i hope you get all the head pats in the world #ghhh i'm so scared this doesn't make sense anymore i've been working on it for almost a week #hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh meta #killua zoldyck #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#storyrambles #also that one scene where gon turns to look directly at killua and tells him he has fun being with him makes me jdfhbvsdjfbvh #he's so intense about it i start laughing. no wonder killua basically just went ??!?!?!?! and like. leaned back because i think i would've #done the same lmaoooo #it's very sweet though :')#argh. gotta post. i need to stop hesitating. let's go.

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yyunari · 6 months

Text

CHESHIRE ! — Nishimura Riki

SYNOPSIS. Y/N Cheshire lived her life carefree. Being the daughter of the Cheshire Cat made her more inclined to not take anything seriously and to just have a little bit of fun in everything she does. Whether it was pulling pranks, sneaking up on people, or making jabs at her friends- Y/N kept a Cheshire’s smile on her face. Because of that, she just couldn’t take Chaehyun Cupid seriously when she claimed that Y/N had a crush on Riki Wonderland.

PLAYLIST. listen to cheshire’s soundtrack while reading!

PAIRING. Kitty Cheshire! Y/N × Alistair Wonderland! Riki

(not shipping kitty and alistair !)

GENRE. Ever After High AU, High school AU, Fluff, Slight Angst

WARNINGS. bad parental relationship, ooc riki, angst

WORD COUNT. around 18k

NOTES. ITS OUT!!! i’ve been working on this fic for months and i finally finished it😭😭💗 thank u @muhwaa my best friend my soulmate for life and my twin flame for motivating me to finish it <3 this is my first long fic so i hope i did it well !!!

1. Naps and feathers don’t mesh.

The lights around her felt brighter than usual, though Liz Lockes found herself in the starlight once again. It wasn’t that she was complaining- in fact, she rather enjoyed it. She felt a sense of solitude as the rest of the world seemed to fade as nothing else mattered.

Liz didn’t mean to fall asleep in the Enchanted Forest. While being in the forest didn’t freak her out much, as the Daughter of Goldilocks, it still felt like an absurd place to sleep. But she had an episode for her MirrorCast news show featuring some of the pixies that reside in the forest, and all the preparation along with the actual filming had made her rather sleepy. She thought that it wouldn’t be too harmful if she took a little rest by a tree. That rest turned into an hour long nap and although it was an accident, the nap had felt just right. Though, it wasn’t just right when she was awoken by a feather being wiggled above her sensitive nose.

How was that possible? She couldn’t see anyone actually holding the feather- was it some sort of a spell?

Liz felt her nose twitch ever so slightly before she finally sneezed. This caused the feather to fall onto her face, before she threw it onto the ground next to her. Barely awake, Liz didn’t feel it in herself to question what had just happened, so she stood up from the spot where she took her impromptu nap and began to leave the forest.

As she made it near the front, however, she spotted Y/N Cheshire curled up on the branch of a tree playing with a ball of yarn.

What was Y/N doing in the forest so late? Weird.

Liz found herself quite fond of the Cheshire Cat’s daughter and decided to make some conversation.

“Hey Y/N!” Liz waved. “What are you doing here?”

Y/N, who gazed at Liz with her cat-like eyes and unsettling smirk, let out a giggle. “Oh, I’m about to take a small catnap.”

A nap? At 9 P.M?

Liz thought it was interesting how alike Y/N was with her mother. Although most Ever After High students found themselves copying the mannerisms of their parents, there were the bunch that preferred not to follow their destinies and created personalities and hobbies for themselves. The latter, known as the Rebels, was a category that mostly students destined for evil or misfortune chose to fall into. But really, Rebels were just anyone who refused to follow their storybook ending. As someone who has a relatively simple destiny, it made sense for Y/N to be keen on following hers.

The blonde snapped out of her thoughts and turned back to Y/N. “That’s funny, I was just leaving from taking a nap of my own! Do you sleep in the forest often?”

“You could say that,” Y/N threw her ball of yarn onto the ground. “I enjoy coming here at night. The stars are really pretty, aren’t they Liz?”

Liz smiled. “They are! Especially in the forest, they just look so stunning.”

“You should come here more often then, I’m sure we’ll get along just right.”

Liz raised an eyebrow at the suspicious tone she had in her voice. Of course, it was known that Y/N enjoyed pulling pranks in her free time… and even when she was busy. Liz had even covered Y/N in one of her MirrorCast episodes.

That was slightly difficult, considering how evasive the girl was. But being the star reporter of Ever After High, Liz prided herself in her ability to make a story out of anything. Even when the subject was hard to work with.

Before she could ask any questions, she realized what Y/N had meant as she observed the girl take a feather out of her pocket.

The same kind of feather that had woken up Liz from her nap.

Really, there was no stopping her mischievous feats. Y/N acted on her own accord, convinced by no one but her mother. There truly was nothing she took seriously in life. The cat girl lived her life treating everything as if it were nothing, so it was only natural that how people felt about pranks wouldn’t affect her, Liz assumed at least. She brushed it all off and waved Y/N a goodbye.

After all, it wasn’t that serious to begin with.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

2. Cupid knows best.

“Hey Y/N, why do you always prank Riki?”

Y/N felt herself let out a snicker as her friend, Chaehyun Cupid, daughter of Eros, asked her a question. It was a silly one, really.

“What do you mean? I prank everyone- it’s kind of my thing.” Y/N pointed to the small cat hat that rested on her head.

Being the daughter of the Cheshire Cat, Y/N felt lots of pride in fulfilling her destiny. As such, she turned pranking people constantly into her niche. Riki Wonderland, son of Alice, was no different.

Chaehyun just rolled her eyes, leaning against Y/N’s locker. “You’ve pranked him 8 times this week already! There’s tons of people in this school so why are you targeting him specifically?”

Ningning Swan, daughter of The Swan Queen, pursed her lips. “Chae is right, you know? You’ve been pranking Riki too much recently. According to Beomgyu he’s getting pretty tired of it.”

Beomgyu Hood, son of Robin Hood, was Riki’s roommate. So if he claimed that Riki was getting annoyed then it was probably the truth.

But Y/N didn’t care much for what they were saying. Why should it matter if he feels burdened by her pranks or not? They were only in good fun, after all! She only pulled silly, lighthearted pranks. Y/N didn’t see the issue in that.

“Hey, why so serious guys?” Y/N put on her signature Cheshire smile. “I’m just here to have a good time. Whether or not I prank Riki most of the time is none of your business. Plus, Beomgyu is an idiot who lives in the woods and plays music for a living. His destiny is to be a thief. I wouldn’t trust anything that guy says.”

Ningning gave a soft smile. “He’s not that bad. He’ll be a thief who gives to the poor.”

Chaehyun turned to the swan girl with a knowing look, as the latter brushed it off and continued.

“As your closest friends, it is our business.” Ningning stated.

Y/N giggled, her movements laced with insincerity. “You’re my only friends.”

“Still makes us your closest! And don’t forget you have your Wonderland friends, Y/N.”

At that, Y/N shrugged, still adorning her wide and mischievous grin. It was true that Y/N didn’t have many friends. Naturally as someone who seeks chaos and disharmony in all she does, it was fit that people didn’t bother to get to know her. Being a rather secretive person, Y/N didn’t find herself too bothered by it (as she liked to convince herself). However, she was rather close with the other Ever After High students from Wonderland. Soul Hatter, son of the Mad Hatter, Giselle Hearts, daughter of the Queen of Hearts, and Rei Blanc, daughter of the White Rabbit. They all grew up together and were each other’s closest friends in childhood. The only other student missing from that list was Riki.

There was never a specific reason as to why the two never got close. Perhaps Riki disliked Y/N. Perhaps his mother had told him to avoid Y/N and her staple chaos. Perhaps Y/N had been subconsciously avoiding him. Whatever it was, Y/N and Riki remained civil with one another but never became friends.

There was, however, one instance that made Y/N feel slightly closer to the boy. One night that they had spent together… had he forgotten? She tried not to think much of it and figured he didn’t think about it either.

All the more reason as to why pranking him often wasn’t a big deal. They weren’t friends (as far as she was concerned) and were barely acquainted with one another past the basis of where they lived- so why was Chaehyun suddenly questioning it?

The bell rang, alerting students to get to their next classes.

“Y/N, you totally like Riki!” Chaehyun suddenly squealed. “I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him. You like him. Pranking him more often than others just means you’re deflecting your real feelings by acting like you don’t care about him. It’s very common when people have crushes.”

The thought made Y/N burst out into laughter. After all, come on. Her? Having romantic feelings for Riki? The same boy who peed his pants the first time they went from Wonderland to Ever After? Not a chance. She could care less for the cute blush on his face afterwards, or the way he laughed it off and acted like it wasn’t a big deal (it was, he had to run into a random house in the woods to clean himself up and that’s where he met Beomgyu). She would never admit that she only knew that because she had turned herself invisible and followed him. Y/N could say for sure that she found none of that appealing. Nothing about him in the slightest.

Even the notion that Y/N would have romantic interest for anyone was absurd.

But as an avid enjoyer of all that is lawless, Y/N just shrugged with a nonchalant expression. She wasn’t one to express herself. “I could tell you, but…” She trailed off in a fake train of thought before continuing. “Where’s the fun in that? Chaos is keeping people guessing, and that makes this kitty purr~”

Her friends deadpanned at her nonspecific phrasing. It was rather hard to get anything out of the shielded girl who embodied certain traits of a cat. Of course she acted as her own person and didn’t rely on her background or her mother to force her one way, but that was just the thing. She was only raised in that way so perhaps it was all she knew best.

Chaehyun smiled, knowing well that Y/N was in a state of denial. It held up- Y/N wasn’t the open type. Cats are feisty, after all. “Sweetie, I’m the daughter of Cupid. I think I know a thing or two about love- and most things in general.” All she needs is a little push.

Y/N smirked. “Most things, really? Because Yujin Hood is a wolf like her father but so far I’m the only one who’s seemed to notice.” Yujin Hood, daughter of Little Red Riding Hood. “It’s funny because she’s really obvious about it but somehow no one has caught on. I mean, why does everyone think she acts so shady and disappears often? She’s obviously hiding a secret.”

The two girls gasped at the news. Really? The thought of Yujin being a wolf felt so… bizarre. But it definitely explained her weird habits. “That’s cheating! You can teleport and turn invisible. You spy on people all the time.” Ningning said.

“You’re right, I can! Speaking of which… Headmaster Grimm is coming this way so I’m going to head to Home Evilnomics before Baba Yaga notices I’m not there. Toodles!” Y/N waved to her friends and let her mouth spread into her Cheshire smile, before her body vanished into thin air- the last thing Ningning and Chaehyun saw of her was that damn smile as it hovered in thin air and lingered ever so slightly longer than the rest of her body.

“Why aren’t you two heading to class?” The familiar voice of the headmaster made the two girls shudder. That man truly had a terrifying aura. “Hurry along, don’t want to keep your professors waiting.”

Deep down they wished they had Y/N’s teleportation ability.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

3. Riki’s mixed feelings.

Riki couldn’t figure out why Y/N seemed to hate him.

It wasn’t as if he’d done anything to her, right? In fact when they were children, he considered her as a friend. Sure they didn’t speak to one another much, but every Wonderlandian was considered his friend. After that night they had spent together back in Wonderland, he figured they at least had an understanding of each other.

He had even found her pranks and unserious personality to be endearing!

That was, until she had made him the target of her pranks. Constantly.

Y/N didn’t prank him much when they were younger. It was only when they started attending Ever After High that the pranks would amp up and become more of a frequent thing. They first began small- switching out his shampoo for hair dye, throwing ice cream at his face on a roller coaster, replacing his croquet ball with yarn, etc. All pretty juvenile stuff. He didn’t mind it and honestly found it funny.

But even Riki had to admit that getting pranked more than twice each week was overkill! It got to a point where he would leave classes and try to go under the radar, in hopes that he could avoid Y/N at all costs. Though, it didn’t help that they had a lot of the same friends. So when his best friend, Soul Hatter, would attempt to get her attention, Riki would groan internally as her cat eyes found their way to his form.

However, nothing gets past the Mad Hatter’s son so he asked Riki about it one day- while the two were hanging out at the Mad Hatter’s tea shop in the Village of Book End.

All sorts of typical Wonderland madness went on in the tea shop, such as teacups being used for the shop’s outdoor design, clocks that tell the wrong time, portals, and objects that float on occasion. It all made Riki miss Wonderland more and more each time he went.

A squeal could be heard from inside the shop as the tables began to float. An unassuming Bahiyyih Charming feared for her life as she felt her feet lift off from the ground. Though for Riki and Soul, they were used to it so they proceeded with their conversation. “I just feel like she hates me! There’s no way you can prank someone that often without feeling negative feelings towards them.” Riki stated with a downcast look on his face.

Soul took a sip of his favorite Earl Grey tea before responding. “More like there’s no way she hates you. I don’t think Y/N hates anyone, in fact, she’s a rather peaceful person.”

At that, Riki raised an eyebrow. “Really? The Cheshire Cat’s daughter is peaceful?”

“Well she does love discord, but she cares a lot for her friends, even if she has trouble showing it. I would know- I’m actually friends with her.” Soul said.

Suddenly, a top hat appeared next to their table.

“Dad? Is that you?”

A boisterous laugh was heard as the Mad Hatter popped out from inside of the hat.

Soul beamed at his dad and the two did their handshake, which they had made back when Soul was a toddler. “Whistle, cradle, up top, down, sideways-“ Riki just smiled at this and waited for them to finish.

“-and to the moon! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you two today?” The Mad Hatter asked, as he poured himself a cup of tea.

“We were just talking about how Riki thinks Y/N hates him.” Soul elbowed his best friend in a teasing manner.

The older man tapped his finger on his chin in thought. “Y/N? Well that girl could hardly hate anyone! I’d find that very hard to believe.” Soul gave Riki a knowing ‘I told you so’ look.

“So then why is she always pranking me?”

The Mad Hatter gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Perhaps it’s her love language.”

“Love language? She’s not really close with anyone besides the other Wonderland kids.. and Ningning… and Chaehyun.” Riki spoke, as he recounted Y/N’s friends. It wasn’t very hard.

Before his question could be answered, a ring from the bell at the counter alerted the Mad Hatter to get back to work. To which he did, but not before giving his son a new box of Earl Grey tea.

“Do you think she likes you?” Riki snapped his head to Soul because of what he said out of the blue. “Maybe Chaehyun would know something about it.”

It didn’t take a second thought for Riki to shake his head in disagreement. “No… no way. We’ve barely spoken, why would she like me?”

Soul shrugged. “I’m just throwing out ideas.”

“Well, your idea sucks. There’s no way Y/N could possibly like me.”

It just made no sense. After all, who would want to prank their crush? Wouldn’t it just make them avoid you more? The idea itself was baffling to Riki.

By the end of their hangout, Riki was sure of one thing. He would officially befriend Y/N.

That would surely get her off of his back.

But secretly he knew that he didn’t mind her pranks as much as he thought he did.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

4. Castleteria encounter and unwanted realizations.

It was lunchtime at Ever After High, and students of all different fairy tale backgrounds found themselves spending their down time together in the Castleteria. After Karina Queen, daughter of the Evil Queen, normalized people not wanting to follow their destinies, it became less taboo for Royals and Rebels to interact with one another. Headmaster Grimm was still hesitant on the idea, but that didn’t matter. All of the students agreed with one another that they would work on being less cliquey. Wonyoung White and Yujin Hood were seen laughing about something they were watching on the MirrorNet. But about two years ago, Snow White’s daughter and Little Red Riding Hood’s daughter would not have been together at all.

Chaehyun, Ningning, Y/N, and Sullyoon Ella were eating together that day. Y/N wasn’t typically friends with Cinderella’s daughter, but she found her incredibly attractive and alluring to be around. Sullyoon had just finished showing them her new shoe collection when Chaehyun pulled out a book and flipped to a page that was titled-

“True Hearts Day?” Ningning asked, with an eyebrow raised. “What’s that?”

Chaehyun giggled in excitement. “It’s an old holiday where people spellebrated following their hearts! Isn’t it so cool? I’m going to throw a True Hearts Day dance! As a future Cupid, I need to uphold traditions such as these.”

“And Headmaster Grimm just let you?” Sullyoon asked. “He’s not the biggest fan of people following their hearts.”

Chaehyun bit her lip. She wasn’t quite sure how her friends would react to the news but she wanted them to know first. “That’s the thing- he didn’t. I asked him last night and he shut down the idea.”

The three other girls waited for her to continue, as she took a pause to gain courage. “Which means I’m going to do it in secret!”

“And just how would you do that?” Y/N asked, as she flicked food from her spoon in Jay Huntsman’s face. The son of the Huntsman gasped in part annoyance and part shock, before proceeding to speak to the Charmings. Y/N snickered at his disgusted expression. Gotcha.

Chaehyun pulled up a map on her MirrorPhone. It displayed all of the Fairy Tale World, from Never After to the Mirror Realm. She zoomed in on the Enchanted Forest, and pointed at a random spot in the woods. “There’s a place here that I know would work perfectly! I just have to make all the invites, plan what food will be served, set up all the decorations- oh! and I have to make the music mix.”

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Sullyoon made a sheepish expression as she realized Chaehyun had taken up a lot on her plate, perhaps more than she realized. “I run a shoe store so I’m pretty good at managing.”

It was true, Sullyoon ran a shoe store in the Village of Book End. The Glass Slipper Shoe Store is what she had named the place, and it was a nice store with various kinds of shoes (it was really just heels, but there were many different kinds of heels).

Needing all the help she could get, Chaehyun nodded. “Do you mind handling the decorations? I’ll do everything else.”

Y/N listened silently as the girls began discussing their plans for the True Hearts Day Dance. She considered helping her friends, as she did care a great deal about them, but she wasn’t exactly good at being helpful. It was much easier for her to mess things up rather than fix them.

However she found herself bored by the topic, so she scanned the room to see who she could pull a prank on next.

Yuna Rose? Oh no, she’s fallen asleep again. What about Jake? He’s the best Charming to prank- never mind, he’s talking to Karina. Maybe…

Y/N glanced towards Riki, who she could see leaving the Castleteria. A grin widened across her face as she let her body disappear from her spot on the table- the grin once again being the last part of her to disappear.

Riki, who was frantically walking back to Professor Rumplestiltskin’s classroom in order to turn his paper in on time, tripped over what seemed to be thin air.

But it wasn’t, and that was clear when Y/N suddenly appeared next to him.

“Seriously? Again?” Riki asked, though his tone was slightly playful. He didn’t want to cause an argument- despite the fact that he was feeling slightly annoyed.

He wasn’t too fond of being pranked all the time. But Riki couldn’t blame the girl too much, she was just doing what she had always done. That much he understood about her, having grown up together.

“This is like, the 4th time this week.” Hopefully she could pick up the hints.

“Hey, I had to! The opportunity was just purrfect.” Y/N made a clawing motion as she said that. “You’re not butthurt, are you?”

Riki found himself chuckling at that. She was really funny, that was one of her features that interested him. Not that he was interested in her, but rather sometimes he found his eyes wandering in her direction he found her intriguing. Besides what she portrayed on the outside, what did anyone really know about Y/N Cheshire? Nothing, truly. The more he thought about it the more he wanted to know. “No, I could never. You’re really funny, you know that?”

Y/N’s face faltered for a second, but it was barely noticeable before she held her carefree expression once again.

“Don’t you have a paper to turn in? We wouldn’t want Rumplestiltskin to mark you down.”

“Oh yeah, I should probably go…”

“Catch you later, Wonderland.” Y/N teased, before disappearing once again.

Riki looked down on the essay in his hands before he snapped out of it and went back to turning it in.

Meanwhile, Y/N found herself back on the branch of her favorite tree in the forest. It was the place she would go to when she needed some time for herself.

And time for herself was needed after what had just happened.

Pranking Riki was something she figured wasn’t a big departure from her normal everyday life. She often crossed his path, so it made sense as to why she would choose him as a target. It wasn’t as though she was seeking him out on purpose, or waiting for him to pass by her locker so she could see his adorable expression. Or hear his voice, which she often heard in her dreams. In fact, it was so unlikely to happen that it didn’t. Y/N could barely even recall what his voice sounded like- that’s how uninterested she was in him. She didn’t even remember his name.

Yes, Y/N could care less about Riki. He was barely a thought that crossed her mind. A small, singular speck of an idea that didn’t hold any substance or weight in her world. She couldn’t waste her time with silly little things like love- after all, how could someone like her be worthy of being loved? All she knew how to do was ruin people’s days.

How could she even like him? Y/N barely even knew the boy. All she really knew was that his birthday was on December 9th, his roommate is Beomgyu, he loves riddles, and misses Wonderland, a lot.

Though, she couldn’t forget his tendency to be overly curious like his mother Alice. Or that he started a chess club with Rei due to his smart nature! Or even his eyes that seemed to glisten with a deep passion every time Y/N would look into them. His pink, plump lips that seemed too soft to be real…

Maybe she knew more than she let on.

But that didn’t mean she liked him! It was only because of her observant nature, and the fact that she can easily turn invisible. That makes it easy to people-watch.

Riki wasn’t even worth watching. So really, he was just obvious about everything. Because how else could Y/N know all those facts about him when she didn’t like him at all?

Y/N pulled out a ball of yarn to crochet and get her mind out of the gutter. Her shaking hands picked up the hook- wait, why were her hands shaking?

It was then when she finally felt the warm blush on her cheeks, which she just realized had been sitting on her face since the Castleteria.

Could she be sick?

No, it was something entirely different. Y/N realized it all now.

Each encounter with Riki left her redder than Yujin’s cloak, and her heart racing slightly faster than normal. It was so simple to see, but she had been in denial for so long.

Y/N had a crush on Riki.

Despite the realization, the idea made her feel weirded out. How could she let that happen?! Ever After High wasn’t the place to fall in love. With the majority of the students following their destinies, it wasn’t a shock to discover that Riki would as well. But Y/N could never amount to what he was worth- she was just a side character in his fairy tale. After their storybook ending, he would leave Wonderland and remember all his adventures as a dream. Plus, falling in love was too serious and committing for Y/N. She couldn’t be serious about anything.

But as she spotted her beloved in a faraway distance, she decided to get closer. Inconspicuously, of course.

There he stood as the spring sun shone down on him as if he weren’t real. Riki was only conversing with Beomgyu after turning in his essay, but he seemed to be the most ethereal being Y/N had laid her eyes upon. At one point he had thrown his head back in laughter, which sounded akin to a melody of angels singing in Y/N’s eyes. Everything about him was purrfect.

In a way, maybe falling in love didn’t sound so bad.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

5. Staring. Again.

Scratch that, it was a horrible thing to happen. How could she act around Riki the same if she had found out it was because she liked him all along?!

For Y/N, it was just easier to brush her feelings aside and continue doing what was simplest. Despite her love for chaos, she never meant to be truly evil or cause any problems. It’s all done in good fun and everyone knew that. Something as problematic as love was an issue that she never expected she would encounter while attending Ever After High.

But she couldn’t help how she felt and therefore had to come to terms with it all.

“You’re staring… Again~”

Y/N turned around to see Chaehyun giggling at her with a teasing smirk. Although she didn’t specify what exactly Y/N was staring at, the cat girl knew what she was talking about- even if she didn’t realize she was staring until that point. But Y/N would never admit that Chaehyun was right. “Staring? At what?”

The future cupid girl pointed at the object of Y/N’s attention for the past few minutes- as much as she would deny it she knew it was true. “Your future boyfriend!”

“Boyfriend?” Y/N stifled a laugh. “No way, I was just thinking about how to prank him next.”

Chaehyun sighed. She knew Y/N was stubborn but she wasn’t aware of just how stubborn the girl could be. Anyone with eyes could tell that Y/N looked at Riki with nothing but love in her eyes- so why did she deny it?

Chaehyun had no doubt it had anything to do with her feelings on her destiny.

Her eyes flitted over to something behind Y/N for a split second before she looked back at her.

“Oh! That reminds me, I have to go set up some things for True Hearts Day. I’ll see you in class, yeah?” Y/N lazily waved at her friend and watched her walk off. Just as Chaehyun had left, Y/N felt a hesitant tap on her shoulder.

Not liking the idea of someone being behind her, she quickly evaporated and appeared once again right behind the person who had tapped her. It was Riki.

“Riki Wonderland?” Y/N had teleported so fast that Riki had heard her voice behind her before even seeing her disappear. “What, cat got your tongue?”

The boy rolled his eyes at her corny joke. “Very funny. I just wanted to give you these.” Y/N looked down at his hands and saw a freshly baked batch of cookies. Had he… made them for her himself? For some reason, the idea of Riki spending some of his own time in the kitchen baking cookies especially for her made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. “My mom sent me some from back home and I wanted to give them to the Wonderland kids…”

Oh, yeah that made sense. For a moment, it almost felt as though Riki cared about her. Y/N wasn’t sure why she let herself get her hopes up so easily- what was happening? The sight of Riki made her feel so… so giddy. Perhaps realizing her feelings wasn’t such a smart move after all. She found herself acting out of character and thinking all kinds of thoughts.

“Hello? Y/N?” Riki waved a hand to her face, which snapped her out of her thoughts. She could only hope that her attraction wasn’t obvious from her facials.

Y/N slowly grabbed a cookie from the plate. It was soft and warm- it felt like home. “Cookies, for me?” Her gaze moved its way upwards until it found itself on Riki’s face. “Are they poisoned or something?”

“Is it so hard to believe someone wants to do something nice for you?” Riki said jokingly as he sighed. Grabbing a cookie from the container, he took Y/N’s hand in his own and opened it up to place another cookie in her hand. “Just take it, Y/N. After all, we’re friends aren’t we?”

Just for a second, Y/N could feel her carefree facade fade into his presence. Friends? Had he really considered them friends all along? But just as quickly as it went, her guise had come back. “Are we, Wonderland? I don’t know if you knew this, but we never even talked to each other before this year.”

“Well, you never really seemed to be fond of me. For whatever reason that is, I like to think of it as water under the bridge.” Riki smiled. “After all, I’ve considered us friends ever since we were young. Even though we didn’t talk back then, I still feel that we gained an understanding of one another after that night we spent together. Don’t you remember?”

So… he does remember?

Just as Y/N was about to ask the reason as to why they never spoke often after that night, the night that had felt special to her, she stopped herself. She didn’t want to come off as overly curious, even if that was what she truly was.

And besides, she preferred not to hear him say that she was the problem all along.

Satisfied with their newfound status of friendship, Y/N gave him a smile. A genuine smile. Her first real one in such a while. “You flatter me, Wonderland. Hopefully my nature doesn’t make you change your mind.”

The boy nodded and gave her a smirk. “I’ve grown accustomed to how you are so whatever it is you think would drive me away is something I’ve mentally prepared for.”

Wanting to mess with him for a bit, Y/N stepped slightly closer to Riki. “Oh, really? You think too much of yourself and too little of me.”

Riki bent down while maintaining eye contact with the girl. His height was truly impressive. “I don’t think you’re as threatening or scary as you think you are.”

As besotted with the boy Y/N was, she didn’t take it lightly when people underestimated her. It was something her mother did often and something that she was tired of feeling used to.

Y/N knew very well how capable she was of more than what she let on. She just hadn’t utilized it yet.

So the cat girl found herself formulating a plan in her head to prove it all wrong.

After all, Y/N Cheshire was a rebel. Stubbornness and pride were her best virtues.

She quickly teleported behind Riki and whispered a ‘boo’ to startle him- and startled he was.

“And I don’t think you know as much about me as you think you do.”

“You’re staring, Riki.”

The son of Alice left his train of thoughts as his best friend snuck up behind him. It was a week after he had officially befriended Y/N and the boy found her on his mind quite often. His curiosity of her shone brighter after she had challenged him. Of course he knew it was all in good fun, and they had been talking more casually ever since that day. During classes, during passing periods, and occasionally he would sit with her during lunch. They discussed many topics, just about anything that crossed their minds at the time. The two found it easy to fall into step with one another.

Y/N even found herself calming her catty personality when she was with Riki. It was surprising, because she hadn’t even done that with Ningning or Chaehyun. Why did she act in such a way with a boy?

As much as she wanted to deny it, Y/N knew Riki was the last person she wanted to think badly of her. Because of that, she had slowly stopped doing the small, petty pranks on him. She figured that the more she did them, the more annoyed he would get with her. Y/N decided that the prank she was planning for him would be the last one she would do. Ever.

It begged the question, why had they postponed this friendship for so long? They definitely had a connection with one another and found it very simple to get along. Conversation came easily. It made no sense as to why it had taken 17 years to get to the point where they stood currently.

Riki knew it was something on both ends. He could tell that not just one party was to blame. Because he did make efforts to speak to her on occasion, but at the same time she did as well. It was just that when a conversation was started, the other would have trouble continuing it. Perhaps it was some sort of subconscious fear.

Whatever it was, that was all in the past. It was the current day and Y/N Cheshire and Riki Wonderland had become friends.

“Riki?”

The boy brought himself out of his thoughts once more as his best friend waved a hand in front of his face. “You zoned out again. Why do you keep staring at Y/N?“

That was the question Riki kept asking himself. “It’s not on purpose. At least, I don’t think. Maybe she just happens to be there.”

“You sound unsure.” Soul said in a thoughtful manner. The cogs in his head began to turn. “Maybe… Oh my gosh- do you like Y/N?”

The thought was baffling. “Like? Of course not! I just find her… interesting.”

“Right, that’s why you’re friends with her now. Because you find her interesting.” Soul teased. That was one thing that Riki disliked about his best friend, that he was so determined in his ideals that he had to see them through each time. “How did you even come to like her? She’s not exactly your type.”

“Well that’s just it I’m not sure how-“ Riki began, but then stopped once he realized what he was unconsciously admitting.

Soul smirked. “Go on.”

Riki let out a sigh and finally let his guard down. “I don’t really know how it started. My interest in her, that is. I’m not too sure if I would classify it as a crush or anything of that sort but I guess one day my eyes just started to drift in her direction?”

He sort of lied. Riki knew that it was because of that night when they were 11, ever since he noticed something different about her. When he listened to her talk, he could tell that she had some sort of sadness about her that she could never quite talk about.

It made him curious.

A wistful breath came out of Souls mouth. “How romantic. I love unlikely romances, they’re very interesting. I suppose it was about time you found someone you were interested in.” He patted a hand on his friends back in congratulations. “Are you going to do something about it?”

“No, definitely not. At least- not until I figure out if what I’m feeling is really romantic or just a friendly interest.”

Just as Soul was about to respond, someone tapped on Riki’s shoulder. “Hey!” They both turned around to be faced with Chaehyun.

“Okay so keep it hush, especially to Headmaster Grimm, but I’m setting up a dance to spellebrate True Hearts Day. Everyone’s invited!” Chaehyun handed them both envelopes. The envelopes were lathered in pink and had their names on it. “True Hearts Day was a holiday where people spellebrated following their true hearts desire, and Headmaster Grimm has banned us from even knowing about it.”

“That tracks. Ever since Karina did what she did last year, he’s been trying to silence us now more than ever.” Riki stated.

“Exactly. Which is why this dance is a secret from him and will be held in a location he doesn’t know about.” Chaehyun smiled. “Will you be there?”

“Of course!” Soul nudged Riki. “We’ll both go.”

A cheer emitted from Chaehyun’s throat before she went to pass out more invitations.

For Riki, he knew what he had to do before the dance. He would have to discover how he felt about Y/N.

Because if he had a crush, then he would ask her to go with him.

On the other side of the lockers, Y/N stared at the concoction in her hands. It was nothing less than ugly. But it was beautiful work, and ideas bloomed through her mind as she thought about what to do with it.

“And you’re doing this… to prove a point?” Ningning asked, as she recounted what Y/N had told her moments prior. “Isn’t that a bit… far?”

“It’s just a little prank! I’ve done far worse to him before.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Besides, do I need a reason to prank someone? I’m the d-“

“-daughter of the Cheshire Cat, I know. But do you need to be so proud of it?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Ningning sighed. “All I’m saying is… you could at least know when to draw the line.”

Y/N gave it a bit of a thought. Draw the line? It wasn’t that simple for her. Y/N was just doing what she had always done. No one had ever told her when to stop, and no one had ever told her how to behave otherwise. How could she ever know otherwise? And at the end of the day, it was all just for a good laugh!

Of course, she knew Ningning had a point. She wasn’t an idiot- she could tell that people weren’t too fond of her. Though they never stated it outright, Y/N knew that her fun had stained people’s impressions of her.

But it was all she was good for.

And besides, wouldn’t Riki laugh at a prank such as this? He always did get a chuckle out of her mischief. The idea of making him laugh with that infectious laugh of his burned through Y/N’s mind.

“I’ll draw the line when I want to draw the line.”

With that, Y/N disappeared- leaving Ningning to stare at the spot where she once stood and sigh.

This is going to take a lot of work… I’m going to need to-

“Hey Ning!”

Ningning looked behind her to see Chaehyun approaching with an armful of envelopes. “Have you seen Y/N? I need to give her one of the invitations as well but I haven’t seen her around all day.”

“You just missed her, but I can hold onto the envelope and give it to her when we’re together.” Ningning smiled at her friend who she had just noticed had a troubled expression on her face.

“Cool! While we’re together, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Me too. Can we talk somewhere private?”

“You read my mind.”

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

6. He was a star, and she was anything but.

Y/N wished her mother didn’t call as often as she did.

The two were having one of their weekly calls through the MirrorPhone, and Y/N wasn’t sure if she could take one more second of her mother’s incessant nagging. Usually she could handle it, but for some reason she seemed to be more overbearing than usual.

And most of the time, she only called to see what pranks she was pulling and not to actually talk to her.

“You’re only pulling baby pranks, darling.” The Cheshire Cat spoke while filing her nails. “You should be able to do better. After all, this is all you’re good for anyways.”

This is all you’re good for.

It didn’t help her self worth when her own mother pressured her in that way.

Y/N sighed and bit her tongue. She couldn’t speak up to her mother, not when she was one of the only people she could trust. “But I can’t really do much when I’m at school, mother.”

The woman paused her nail filing to give her daughter a slight glare. “Then that means you’re not good enough.”

Y/N felt her words get choked up in her throat. “I’m trying my best!” Attempting to hold back tears, Y/N disliked how her mother spoke to her oftentimes. She figured she could handle it since it was her mother, but at some point it just became too much.

“Try harder sweetie.” The Cheshire Cat gave her a sickly sweet smile. “Be honest, is a boy distracting you?”

Yes.

“Of course not, mother.” Y/N stated.

Though, one thing she had forgotten about was her tendency to lick her lips a bit more than usual when she lied. And one thing her mother did right was notice the small things about her.

The Cheshire Cat gasped. “There is a boy!” She pondered on this idea for a second, examining her daughter through the MirrorPhone. She had made it a point to Y/N that boys would only get in the way and that romance shouldn’t be on her mind throughout high school, and she would stand by that point no matter what. But perhaps what her daughter needed was a push in the wrong direction. “Tell me, who is he? And how did it happen?”

Y/N knew she couldn’t lie anymore to her mother, so she decided to come clean. Despite their strained relationship, wouldn’t it feel nice to be able to discuss her feelings with someone?

Her mother was harsh and cruel, but she wasn’t a monster. Surely she would be able to help.

The only problem was that she didn’t know where to begin. After all, she didn’t even know where her feelings began. Was it that day by the front of the school where she realized she liked him? Or was there a time before then that she had caught feelings without even knowing? As someone who didn’t receive much love growing up and had never liked anyone else, it was hard to tell.

She thought back to all the times she had interacted with Riki. Perhaps there was a common denominator between each moment, one that could pinpoint a beginning.

It was then that she realized that there was a certain moment that stood in the back of her mind whenever Riki was around (or when she thought about him).

It was after a fight Y/N had with her mother when she was 11. At one point, she became too stressed with all the expectations the Cheshire Cat had on her, and certain feelings began to bubble up within her. It came to a stop when her and her mother had blown up on each other and things got too tense for Y/N to stay at home. Without her dad present, it was tough having to live with someone who both expected so much of you but also didn’t believe you were worth anything.

Due to her conflicting feelings, she ended up running out of the house in an attempt to find somewhere to calm down. Though in Wonderland, there weren’t many options. No matter where you went there was bound to be chaos.

So Y/N ran. She found herself running and running until she could find somewhere to sit peacefully and stay unbothered. It was just too much for her 11 year old brain to stay in such a place that fostered a toxic mindset.

And eventually, she found a spot. It was nearby the portal between Wonderland and Ever After, so perhaps part of that world was seeping into Wonderland. Whatever it was, she had found a hilltop so hidden from the rest of Wonderland that there was practically no noise. It was so high above the world that one wrong step and Y/N would be falling to her death. From where Y/N was curled up within the trees, she could see the stars.

Y/N loved stargazing. It was something that she couldn’t do often but loved doing while she could. With all the pressures from her mom and herself, something she could count on to be a constant was looking at the stars. The way the shimmer of the stars starkly contrasted the gloom of the night sky- she felt that she could easily get lost in its beauty. Not only were they beautiful, but there was something about the way the stars twinkled that made her want to shine just as brightly. Each star perfectly had its own place amongst the sky… could she be like that too? Was there somewhere she could have her own place in? In another world, Y/N was a star. She wanted to be able to contribute to a bigger picture, and not just be a side character in another’s story. Perhaps when she died, she could be reincarnated as a star. Was that even possible?

Until then she would stay down on the ground, waiting to take her place amongst the stars.

Y/N was so entranced by her own thoughts that she didn’t notice a figure slowly come into her view.

“Is there any more room up here?” The voice said.

Out of instinct, Y/N gasped and quickly disappeared. It was a defense mechanism that had become a habit when she learned to control her powers.

But as her vision started to focus once more and she reappeared, Y/N realized who it was.

Riki Wonderland.

Confused, she raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. This is my spot.” He said in such confidence. “I found it years ago and I’ve been coming here to stargaze ever since.”

Riki stargazed? Y/N couldn’t see that as something befitting of his character.

“I just wanted to get out of the house, I guess.” Y/N shrugged. “So, you stargaze?”

“It’s just something I realized I enjoyed after the first time I did it.” Riki stated, a small smile placed upon his face that Y/N had never seen before.

Not wanting to be a nuisance, Y/N sat up. “Well if you’re here now, I might as well just leave. Have fun with your stars, Wonderland.”

Before Y/N could disappear, Riki grabbed her arm. “Wait,” the girl looked into his eyes as she decided to hear out what he had to say. “you should stay. It’s not like I own this place anyways.”

It wasn’t that she disliked Riki, and in all honesty she found him rather cute. But wouldn’t it be awkward if it was just the two of them? Y/N didn’t have an easy time socializing with people either way, but with Riki it would be even harder. It was awkward knowing that they were so close to being friends but it had never happened. But with the pleading look in his eyes, how could she say no?

There was something about him that made her soft.

Y/N sighed and slowly agreed. If Riki wanted her there, perhaps she should stay. So the two laid on opposite sides of the branch together, and silently looked up at a world they could only dream of being a part of.

After some time, Riki opened his mouth. “I know I already asked this earlier, but why did you come here? You know, to stargaze.” As if he wasn’t satisfied with her answer.

He was right in thinking that her answer wasn’t what she truly wanted to say, but it just felt awkward to give an exact reason. Her relationship with her mom was something she could barely tell her only 3 friends about, let alone someone she barely considered an acquaintance.

But Y/N knew Riki was a reliable guy; she had heard it often from Soul, Rei, and Giselle. And maybe for once she would let herself put faith into another person.

“I’ll only tell you if you tell me why you like stargazing.”

Riki blew out a breath in thought. “Hm… I don’t know if I can give an exact reason for that. I was just bored one day and ended up coming across this place. That’s what made me stargaze, but something about it just felt so comforting to me that I wanted to do it more often.” He answered, a soft smile gracing his lips. “But that’s not exactly a good reason.”

“I think it suits you.” Y/N whispered out. “I’m sure you have your own stresses with being the son of Alice in Wonderland. It would make sense that having a hobby like this to come back to is something you enjoy.”

He pondered on it for a moment. Maybe she was right. He then chuckled at this side of her he had never seen before. “You’re a lot more poetic than you let on. Anyways I answered your question, can you answer mine?”

Y/N considered answering it, she truly did, but as much as she wanted to open up there was the side of her that wanted to keep everything inside. Her mother had always told her that vocalizing your feelings does nothing good and only makes people pity you.

One thing Y/N despised was being pitied. It only reminded her of how her mother referred to her as a ‘pitiful girl’ and how she would amount to nothing.

So she slowly shook her head. “No, I don’t think I can.”

Riki felt himself beginning to sit up to look at the girl. There was something off about her. The way she spoke to him and the way that she carried herself… she wasn’t acting as she always had. Normal Y/N would be more playful and even mischievous. But now, there was a certain sadness in her entire being that seemed to be throwing her off her rhythm. And it only made Riki more and more curious about her.

“Okay, I get it. You don’t have to tell me.” Riki smiled, before continuing. “I just hope it doesn’t take away your chaotic spirit. You know, I kind of like that about you.”

A sigh left Y/N’s lips at his words. “You don’t mean that, Wonderland.”

“I mean every word, Cheshire.”

Y/N could only roll her eyes before slowly evaporating into the night, using her invisibility and teleportation to finally go back home.

Left lingering in the air was her Cheshire’s smile, which disappeared last and left Riki staring at the wisps of where she had sat only moments prior.

Maybe it made sense that Riki enjoyed stargazing. In a way, there was something about him that was made of the stars. No matter what he did, he always seemed to shine brighter than all the others. There was something about Riki that felt that he belonged up in the sky, giving life to the night and adding a certain glimmer to the auras.

Riki had his own place amongst the sky, and she wished she could be like that too. But after speaking to him, maybe there was nowhere she could have her own place in. Y/N could only wait for the day that she could contribute to a bigger picture, and take a larger part in his story. After all, she had always wanted her own place within the stars.

But for now, all she could do was hope she would become more than just the Cheshire Cat’s daughter.

Y/N carefully recounted her memories from that night, and how it had stuck with her and unknowingly fostered her feelings for Riki. As she told the story, she didn’t seem to notice the Cheshire Cat don a mischievous smile.

If her daughter wasn’t going to improve on her own, then she would have to make her improve.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

7. “You…r opinion?”

Liz had a habit of expecting the worst out of most situations. Perhaps it came from the fact that her destiny involved bears… big scary bears… but it was understandable. Bears weren’t known for being the most gentle creatures, after all.

So when she noticed a suspicious vial of liquid in Y/N’s bag during their Advanced Ballet class, Liz’s mind raced with negative thoughts. What was she up to? Did it have anything to do with pranking? Or maybe it was for a class assignment?

Liz truly didn’t mean to think the worst of Y/N, but she couldn’t exactly help it. Being kind wasn’t exactly in her forte and Liz was too much of a paranoid person to ignore seeing that vial.

But she also didn’t want to profile the girl for doing something that she wasn’t going to do in the first place. Liz knew that doing so wasn’t just right. So she looked around the room to see if anyone had seen her internal battle. Deciding that it had gone unnoticed, Goldilocks’ daughter let out a shaky breath and continued to practice her jetés.

“Are you still going to-” Ningning said, but paused when she realized she was being a bit too loud- especially considering the subject of the conversation was in that very room. Why was he there anyways? He didn’t even take Advanced Ballet… “Are you still going to prank Riki?” She continued in a hushed whisper.

Y/N giggled at Ningning’s apparent stress. Although she disliked making her friends upset, it was still sort of funny that she had that effect on them. “Well, I don’t see why I shouldn’t.”

Ningning frowned. “Well first of all, it’s rude.”

“Hey, if you’re not funny just say that!”

“Be serious…” Y/N made a hand movement indicating that she was shutting her mouth. Ningning then continued with her list. “It causes unnecessary problems. And besides, Riki isn’t going to like y-”

“What about Riki?”

Y/N and Ningning’s heads swiftly turned to face the voice- it was Beomgyu and Riki. Y/N could see Ningning get a little shy for reasons she decided to ignore. Beomgyu? Really? You can do better Ning…

“Don’t think you’re all that, Wonderland.” Y/N grinned. “We were talking about Ricky Jester.”

Beomgyu groaned. “Ugh, I hate that guy. He’s so annoying, I mean, we don’t care th-” His rant was cut short when Riki pressed a hand against Beomgyu’s mouth. “Thanks man, I forgot he’s in this class.”

Ningning chuckled. “Don’t be such a hater, Beomgyu.”

Ningning and Beomgyu proceeded to start their own conversation, with Beomgyu whispering to her all the things he found wrong with Ricky. Y/N felt happy for her friend in that moment, and let a small smile show on her face. It wasn’t intentional, and in fact she hadn’t even noticed it was there. But someone else noticed.

Riki couldn’t deny that he felt a certain emotion bubble in his stomach when he saw the genuine happiness on Y/N’s face. Y/N, the same girl who was often cold and didn’t show any of her softer emotions. Something about that made her happiness reflect onto him.

It was odd. He enjoyed seeing her in such a state, but he figured he felt more than he should have in that circumstance. Why did he feel like that?

No, Riki wasn’t dumb and he wasn’t the type to lie about his feelings. He could tell exactly what it was.

But was he pleased with the outcome? Riki wasn’t sure. Though he told himself that he would come to terms with whatever decision he made about his feelings on Y/N, it was easier said than done. After all, he knew that being romantically involved with the girl would come with work. A lot of work. He was also worried that everything was too rushed, and that he wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe his thought process was clouded with what he thought he wanted to happen.

Once again, the H/C female was left to her own thoughts- which obviously drifted to the boy next to her. She couldn't help it. He made her rather stable heart go all crazy when he was around.

Thoughts of confessing were brought up, but then immediately shut down because of how ridiculous it sounded. The idea of Riki having mutual feelings towards her seemed so out of the ballpark. After all, it was her. She was someone who had trouble facing her own feelings, and put up a front to hide all her troubles and insecurities. Riki always seemed put together. How could a guy such as himself possibly think about dating her?

At the same time of Y/N having doubts in her head, Riki had finally come to a conclusion. He pondered on it for a while, and he knew it was too obvious to ignore.

Riki liked Y/N.

It made him wonder, how long had he felt that way? He couldn’t help but think of the possibility of his crush starting even back then, on the day that he and Y/N shared under the stars.

He wondered if being hyper aware of Y/N and all that she does was because he liked her, or because he was a naturally curious person. He also wondered if him noticing the way her hair fell behind her ears was also because he liked her.

“Hey Riki, I have a question.” Y/N started, her cat-like eyes closing to a slant. “Why are you in our class today? I didn’t think someone like you would take Advanced Ballet. Don’t you dance hip hop?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Riki considered the question. Why was he there? The simple answer was because Beomgyu, who actually did take the class, invited him to join since Riki had a free period.

But he thought back to the moment that Beomgyu asked, and what he said that got him to go.

“You know a lot of people in that class, actually.” Beomgyu said before listing off the people he could recall. “Liz, Ricky, Yuna, Wonyoung, Jake, Ningning, Y/N-”

Of course, Riki remembered. All the other names seemed to fade as he heard that last one.

“It was because of you-” Riki blurted out, without even thinking. He had to save himself before Y/N could catch onto his mistake. “-your opinion. I.. wanted to get your opinion on my outfit today since you’re very straightforward.”

What?! Why did I say that?

Slightly disappointed at his answer, Y/N looked at the boy up and down. Her opinion? He looked cute. As always.

“It’s hideous.”

A smirk made its way to Y/N’s face even though she didn’t agree with what she said. Though she usually acted calmer around Riki, teasing him every now and then didn’t do any harm.

“Hideous?! Hey, it’s really not that bad.” Riki chuckled. “It’s literally just an oversized jacket and baggy jeans!”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Um, don’t forget that you asked for my opinion, Wonderland.”

“And your opinion is wrong.” Riki said. “Also why do you call me Wonderland all the time?”

Beomgyu looked over at Y/N and Riki. He noticed the way they conversed, and how Y/N’s expression seemed softer than normal despite her mischievous jabs. He also picked up on Riki’s facials, and how his eyes seemed to sparkle in a certain way that Beomgyu had never seen before. It was interesting to see how his aura changed in the slightest when he was with Y/N.

Without realizing, Beomgyu was staring at Y/N while thinking about how glad he was that Riki found someone he liked.

He glanced over at Ningning to see if she had seen it as well, but stopped his trailing eyes when he noticed Riki giving him a weird face. Did he do something wrong?

Under the impression that Beomgyu was staring at Y/N because he was interested, Riki felt a wave of jealousy wash over his system. He never considered himself the possessive type, however, he had just realized his feelings for Y/N. It made sense that his brain was scattered and his emotions left him rather vulnerable.

For once in his life, Riki felt himself getting jealous of one of his friends. It wasn’t an instance that occurred often, as Riki knew he was a rather fortunate guy and that he had a lot to be grateful for, but he couldn’t help it this time.

Falling for Y/N Cheshire, Riki knew, came with a lot of work. He knew she had a lot of mental troubles she would need to work through, and Riki himself needed to navigate through these unfamiliar emotions.

It was work, but Riki was willing to put in the work for Y/N.

Amongst all the newfound realizations and bubbling emotions, one girl snuck away from her spot next to the group. She had been eavesdropping on their conversation for longer than intended, but what really stuck with her was what Ningning and Y/N discussed in the beginning.

Y/N… pranking Riki again?

Maybe it wasn’t anything to worry about. After all, she did prank Riki rather often. It was well known amongst the student body.

But she couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that came over her body when she thought about what Y/N could possibly do, and the guilt that she would feel if she didn’t at least try to stop it.

Though she held a certain degree of respect for Y/N, one thing the girl stood heavily for was justice. As soon as she was far away from the group she pulled out her phone and went into Riki’s contact.

“Hey Riki, it’s me. Liz.”

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

8. You make everyone miserable.

During the day time, it was common for Ever After High students to meet up at Hocus Latte. It was a common hang out spot between friends, though oftentimes if a girl asked a guy or vice versa people would assume it was for a date.

That was why Riki felt conflicted when he read Liz’s text.

‘I need to talk to you. Meet me at Hocus Latte at 3 p.m for a quick chat’ He reread to confirm the meeting time.

On one hand it made sense, because Yuna Rose worked there and the two were rather close. But did she not think about the message she might have accidentally sent? Riki tried not to think about it too deeply because he doubted Liz had a crush on him.

As he sat inside Hocus Latte waiting for Liz to arrive, his phone vibrated indicating he had received another text.

‘Actually I might be running late because there were some technical troubles for my MirrorCast show, but I sent over one of my friends to keep you company. Sorry about that!’

A wave of nervousness washed over his body as he read over her text. Who did she send? Riki didn’t usually find it hard to get along with others, but not knowing who he was going to have to hang out with gave him an unsettling feeling. His mind racked through the roster of Liz’s friends, and who she was most likely to send.

It’s definitely not Yuna because she’s working right now, maybe Jake? But he works for her MirrorCast show and if they were having technical troubles then she probably would have him help. What about Wonyoung- actually no, he could only hope it wasn’t her. The daughter of Snow White was someone he found rather intimidating, despite how nice she genuinely was.

As Riki pondered over the possibilities, he noticed a familiar form come into his view.

“You look stupid sitting here alone.”

Riki looked up and noticed Y/N’s signature Cheshire grin, something he hadn’t seen since they had become friends but he surely missed. He enjoyed the calm(ish) side of her that she had been presenting to him as of late, but he couldn’t help but miss the side of her that interested him in the first place. Though whatever side Y/N wanted to show him was one he was willing to accept.

He felt his heart pick up its pace as Y/N sat in the empty chair. His entire mind had been consumed by her, thinking about her almost every waking hour ever since he realized his crush on her. But despite that, he hadn’t actually expected to see her. They were good friends but the silly, fluttery feelings he felt for her still made being around her both exciting and difficult.

“Did Liz send you here?” Riki asked with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t know you guys were friends.”

Y/N giggled. “Oh yeah, her and I are like this!” She crossed her fingers to indicate that they were close. “She loves me so much she made a MirrorCast episode about me!”

Riki remembered watching that episode, perhaps more so than he should’ve. Looking back on it, the signs that he had feelings for her were obvious. He just didn’t notice.

What happened is in the past. Now that I know I like her, I’m going to pursue her.

“It makes sense, I mean, you are a likable person.” Riki said, before taking a sip of her drink. Before Y/N could vocalize her confusion, he spoke once more. “Do you want a drink? I can order you one.”

“Oh, I’m good.” Not dropping her smirk, Y/N winked at Riki. “I already ordered one anyways.”

As Riki was about to ask what she meant, she had already turned herself intangible and disappeared. Moments passed with Riki just looking around and waiting for Y/N to come back, and eventually she did.

With a drink.

“How did you get that?”

“I ordered it, duh.” Y/N wore an expression that read ‘obviously’.

If anyone bothered to look in the back of the cafe, they would see Yuna in the kitchen covered in water and the drink she just finished making gone from her hands.

For unrelated reasons, of course.

Riki could tell that she hadn’t just ordered the drink, but he wasn’t about to point that out. He knew that Y/N could be annoying at times, but he knew she would never cross the line. He trusted her not to do that because he knew deep down, despite everything, she was a good person.

“Did you finish your Chemythstry paper?” Riki asked, changing the subject. “I heard from Jay that Rumplestiltskin is grading it harder than our past papers because he wants us to fail. That way if we ask for extra credit, he can punish us and make us spin straw into gold for him. Isn’t that sick in the head?”

Y/N stifled a laugh as she thought about their professor. “Really? That’s kind of funny, actually.”

Rolling his eyes in a teasing manner, Riki smiled. “Right, I forgot that’s pretty on brand for you. Just wait until he asks you to do it, maybe it won’t be funny then.”

“Please, Rumplestiltskin loves me.” Y/N said, emphasizing the ‘love’. “And even if he tried to fail me I would just turn it into a passing grade without him seeing.”

“I remember when you fell asleep in his class and he just let you sleep. If that were any one of us, he would’ve yelled in our faces.” Riki reminisced.

Y/N stuck her tongue out at him. “It must suck not being the favorite.”

“I’ll have you know Pied Piper loves me.”

“That’s not a flex… Everytime he plays the trumpet, rats fall from the sky. And for some reason he keeps doing it??”

“At least my professor is taller than 4 feet.”

“At least mine doesn’t like classic rock.”

“Isn’t your mom friends with Pied Piper?”

“So? That doesn’t mean I have to like him…”

The two went back and forth for a while, though it was all in good fun. It felt nice to be able to banter and tease each other and know that neither of them meant any harm by it.

Riki enjoyed speaking to Y/N, because he thought she was fun. Y/N enjoyed speaking to Riki, because she felt that she could be herself around him.

Though, all good things must come to an end. Y/N felt one of her senses pick up suddenly, and she realized her time with Riki was one of those good things.

She had to leave before Liz noticed she was there.

“It’s been fun, Wonderland, but I have to dip.” Y/N said. “Duty calls, you know?”

Before he could utter out a ‘bye’, Y/N had already disappeared and was out of his sight.

Moments after, Liz finally arrived.

“Hi Riki! Sorry for running late, there was this whole thing with the routers and Jake kept accidentally breaking things and-”

Riki waved it off before she could continue to ramble. “It’s alright! Thank you for sending someone to keep me company, it was fun.”

Liz smiled knowing that she did something helpful. “I’m glad, Chae was excited even though I asked her last minute. Weird, right? I didn’t realize you guys were friends.”

As Liz continued on about how Chaehyun was willing to drop what she was doing to accompany Riki, he paused. Did she say Chaehyun?

Didn’t she send Y/N?

“Wait, Chaehyun?” Riki asked, hoping he hadn’t heard the name incorrectly.

Confused, Liz stopped what she was saying to clarify. “Yes? She was the one I asked. Did she not tell you that?”

The pieces finally clicked in Riki’s head, and he felt a bit dumb for not noticing it sooner. Suspicious behavior was all a part of Y/N’s character but she hadn’t been acting in such a way as of late. For her to come and suddenly revert back to that was something that Riki should’ve thought about. That paired with her leaving so suddenly…

But one thing didn’t make sense, why did Y/N come instead of Chaehyun in the first place?

Before Liz could comment on Riki’s prolonged silence, he awkwardly laughed. “Sorry, yeah. Chaehyun mentioned it, I just thought you said Chaewon and I wanted to clarify.”

Whatever the reason was for Y/N to lie, he figured outing her to Liz wouldn’t be helpful.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Oh right!” Liz jumped up, almost having forgotten why she wanted to meet with Riki in the first place. “I overheard something during Advanced Ballet, and I just wanted to tell you about it because I think you deserve to know.”

Advanced Ballet? Oh right, Liz was in Y/N and Beomgyu’s class. He recalled seeing her for a brief moment that day when he crashed their lesson.

The way she was putting everything made Riki slightly nervous, but he could only hope it wasn’t anything too bad. “Okay, what is it?”

“I saw a weird vial of liquid in Y/N’s bag, and I overheard her talking to Ningning about wanting to prank you. I know she pranks you often, but I just didn’t feel right seeing all that and not doing anything about it.”

Riki let out a laugh at what she said. “Thank you for being concerned, but she always does this and I’m okay with that. I know she would never cross the line.”

“That’s good! I just wanted to let you know so you could prepare if anything.” Liz smiled, glad he had taken it so well. She knew that Riki and Y/N were decent friends so she didn’t feel particularly worried about the fact that he was alright with her. “I also know Beomgyu was mentioning to Ningning that you were sick of getting pranked, so I wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything-” She paused what she was saying when a memory popped into her head. “Wait, I just remembered something. Did you know Beomgyu has a crush on Y/N?”

Riki felt his heart stop when Liz said those words.

Beomgyu had a crush on Y/N? His Y/N? How could he!

Of course Riki never vocalized his crush on her, but he had hoped that Beomgyu would be able to notice.

“O-Oh, does he really?” Riki nervously laughed, trying not to let his disappointment show. It would be embarrassing if Liz found out Riki felt the same. “He never told me that…”

“He never said it explicitly, but when he and Ningning were talking I saw him look over at Y/N a lot. He was probably asking Ningning for help on how to ask her out, since she’s one of Y/N’s best friends.” Liz chuckled. “Isn’t it so cute! I think they fit each other well. Don’t you? Maybe he’ll ask her to the True Hearts Day dance!”

No, they don’t fit each other at all. Beomgyu was annoying and stupid, and Y/N was funny and smart. She was far too beautiful on the inside to be with someone who often stole food from the Castleteria.

Riki didn’t care that Y/N also stole food. To him, it was only alright when she did it. Everything in his eyes was alright when it was done by Y/N.

But regardless, Riki didn’t want Y/N to be stunted by being with Beomgyu. He loved his friend, but he knew that he had a lot of room to mature before he gave his heart to another.

At the end of the day, Riki knew one thing and that was that he was the only one fit for Y/N.

Because he liked her. No, maybe even loved.

Though, he couldn’t admit that. Not now. “Yeah, they would look great.” He said through gritted teeth.

After wrapping up their conversation Liz and Riki decided to walk back to Ever After High together. It was getting late, and Riki was worried about Liz getting back safely.

And as much as he tried to be present in whatever Liz was saying about how to make the best porridge, he just couldn’t pay attention. All he could think about was Beomgyu and Y/N being together. The thought made him sick to his stomach. The idea of them holding hands… whispering sweet nothings into each others’ ears… kissing- It was all too much. He couldn’t stand thinking about it, yet he was addicted to the thought. He kept thinking up different scenarios that would occur if the two ever started dating.

While distracted, Riki felt a gust of wind blow behind him. He tried not to think too much about it but it felt a little unsettling.

He brushed it off, and tried to pay attention to what Liz was rambling about.

“-and then you have to drizzle it with honey! But the honey you get has to be just right, it can’t be too sweet but it also can’t be too flavorless. So that’s something you have to think about.” Liz stopped for a moment when she noticed that Riki wasn’t exactly paying attention. “Hey, are you okay?”

Riki was about to respond, however he was interrupted when he heard a familiar giggle fill the air. Suddenly, he felt a hole open up underneath him until he eventually fell through, falling for about 10 feet before he landed on hard rock.

“Riki, are you okay?!” Liz shouted from above. She looked around where she found a rope on the ground next to a tree, so she picked it up and threw it down to Riki to help him up. “What the hell happened??”

Still shaken up, Riki brushed the dirt off his clothes as he climbed up the rope. “I… I have no idea. One moment I was standing and all of a sudden I was on the ground.”

Once he got back onto the surface, the adrenaline eventually went away and he could finally feel the pain shoot up his ankle.

A giggle was heard from a distance, the same giggle that Riki had heard moments prior to falling. It was a little too familiar for his liking, and he hoped that it wasn’t who he thought it was.

“What happened to you, Wonderland?”

Riki and Liz looked to the side and Riki felt his heart drop for the second time that day.

There Y/N stood, looking cute and innocent as ever, as if she wasn’t causing a storm to brew within Riki’s heart.

Was she the one who made him fall?

“Why are you asking when you’re the one who did this?” Riki muttered, hurt shown on his face.

The previously lighthearted expression on Y/N’s face slowly shifted into a confused one. What was he talking about? “Well, I’m flattered you think I’m capable of something like this but I don’t even know what happened to you.”

“Don’t lie, don’t you think it’s weird that I fell into a hole and a few seconds later you show up?” Riki said. “I thought you were better than this, I mean, I could’ve seriously injured myself!”

It was then that Y/N realized Riki wasn’t in the best mood, and that worried her. She didn’t enjoy him being angry at her, not one bit. “Riki, it wasn’t me. Truly.”

“So you’re saying Liz was lying about how you’ve been planning on pranking me?”

Riki didn’t mean to bring Liz into it, but he couldn’t help it.

“I can’t believe you… I thought we’ve been getting closer. Then you go and do this?”

“I’m being honest, it wasn’t me!” Y/N voice raised to a yell. She felt hurt that he was blindly accusing her, though she couldn’t blame him. After all this time, she knew people only expected the worst of her. And with how she’s treated Riki in the past, it was only right that his mind would think of her to do such a thing.

But she thought he would know she would never intentionally hurt him. That’s why she only pulled small pranks. “I care about you a lot, Riki. Even though I considered pranking you in the past, I stopped myself from doing it because I want to better myself for you.”

Riki felt his heart swell at what she said, but he still couldn’t get the information he learned about Y/N and Beomgyu out of his head.

“Are you ever going to take anything seriously? I mean, aren’t you tired of acting like this?”

“Acting like what…?”

All the jealousy he felt and the anger he felt towards himself… seeing her made all the negative feelings that Riki had been feeling bubble up, and before he knew it his mouth was moving faster than his brain.

“Aren’t you tired of making people feel miserable all the time!?” He yelled, with shut eyes.

But as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt regret all around. He didn’t mean to say anything really mean, he was just upset and he had accidentally taken it out on her.

“Um, don’t you think that was a little too far?” Liz whispered, surprised that Riki of all people said that. “I think you should apologize, I mean, she really might not have done it.”

Wasn’t Liz the one suspicious of Y/N in the first place?

Before he could take back his words he looked back up at his crush, only to see hurt and shock written on her face. And Riki knew he messed up.

“I make people feel miserable…? Alright, I get it.”

The smile Y/N put on was different from all the smiles she had given him in the past. It was filled with mixed emotions- sadness, hurt, and disgust. But at who? Disgusted at him? Or maybe even herself?

That was the last he had seen of Y/N in a few days.

Riki looked up at the sky and for some reason, the stars seemed to be dimmer than usual.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

9. Locker chats.

It was two days before the big True Heart’s Day dance that Chaehyun had been planning, and Riki couldn’t feel more stressed.

“You said that to her??”

Soul couldn’t hold back his shock as Riki recounted his previous argument with Y/N.

It had been some time since then, and Riki knew the girl was evading him. But why? He knew he had hurt her, but didn’t he deserve an apology too? After all, she did cause him to hurt his ankle.

“She could’ve killed me, Soul.” Riki frowned. “I don’t think I’m in the wrong for being concerned about my safety.”

Soul face palmed at his friends’ obliviousness. “Has it ever occurred to you that she might not have done it? Ever since you guys became close, you know Y/N has been trying to change her nature. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, and especially not something that drastic.”

Riki let out a sigh as he remembered something he had been trying to push to the back of his head. “But that’s the thing, what if she doesn’t care about me as much as I thought she did?”

“Bro what-”

“Liz told me that Beomgyu likes her.” It hurt Riki’s heart to think about that fact. “What if she likes him back?”

Soul was about to voice his disagreement when his eyes trailed past Riki’s shoulder. Before he could tell him not to look, Riki was already turning his head to see what caught Soul’s attention.

But the sight was one he had been dreading to see. Beomgyu and Y/N were walking to class together, and they seemed happy to be together.

Since when were they friends? Was it because Riki hadn’t been by her side? And why hadn’t Beomgyu said anything about their new friendship?

Riki’s mind raced with the possibilities of how Y/N and Beomgyu had become friends. But no matter how they had gotten to that point, it didn’t matter.

Beomgyu was talking to Y/N. His Y/N. How could she stand there, and laugh, and look so beautiful?

How could she look so well when he was struggling so much internally?

Riki would never know just how much sleep Y/N was losing over everything, or how she had already planned out her apology.

“Maybe they’re just friends?” Soul suggested, not wanting his best friend to be upset. But even he couldn’t deny the seeming chemistry between the two.

“Don’t worry about Beomgyu, he’s not a threat.” Ningning’s voice was heard as she approached the two Wonderlandians. “Now Riki tell me, what did you say to Y/N? She hasn’t been herself these days and I know you have something to do with it.”

Riki was hesitant to tell Y/N’s best friend about what had happened, but maybe Ningning could clear some things up for him. So he described what occurred between the two of them that night in great detail, making sure Ningning was able to get the full picture.

Once he finished, he could tell the swan girl was about to slap him for what he said to her friend.

“Are you being serious right now?” Ningning scoffed. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were smart because you’re actually kind of dumb…”

Riki frowned. “Okay rude.”

Soul had to stop himself from laughing. “She kind of gagged you there…”

Ningning sighed. “Riki… Y/N was telling the truth, she didn’t do it. Her mom did.”

“...What?”

“You stupid hoe, I can’t believe you didn’t try to hear her out.” Disappointment could be heard all over Ningning’s tone, but Riki wasn’t paying attention to that.

All he could think about how he seriously messed up.

“Her mom thought you were a threat to Y/N’s success so she tried to get you out of the picture. But when Y/N found out about it, she yelled at her mom. Can you believe that?” Ningning said incredulously. “She’s terrified of her mother, but she yelled at her for you.”

He realized that he shouldn’t have gotten so defensive and just trusted his friend, after all, she had been showing that she did want to change. He should have trusted her and not let his emotions take over.

But after hearing about Y/N and Beomgyu possibly being together was just too much for him to think about, and he projected all that anger onto Y/N. The things he said and the way he acted were all uncalled for.

“Is she going to class right now?” Riki abruptly said, the only thought on his mind was that he needed to apologize.

“She’s kind of busy these days because she’s helping Chaehyun prepare for the dance, so I don’t think it’s a good time to approach her.” Ningning said. “Maybe try talking to her on the day of the dance?”

He didn’t want to wait for two more days but if Ningning thought that was best, he would trust her. Riki would wait for as long as he needed if it meant he could have Y/N back in his life.

Because more than anything, he missed her and her silly pranks.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

10. I’ve always loved you.

“You look pretty, Y/N.”

Y/N snapped out of her staring contest with the mirror as Ningning entered her peripherals. The daughter of the Swan Queen, who usually wore her ballet style clothing, suddenly adorned a lilac dress that was shorter in the front and longer in the back with silver details sprinkled throughout. It resembled a forest design, which was befitting of her character since she was a swan after all.

Y/N, on the other hand, wore a darker purple dress that was of a similar length and had black lace around the top. Her voluminous hair was styled into pigtails and part of it was made to resemble cat ears. Her accessories complimented the outfit perfectly, and she felt good about herself for once in her life.

A sigh left Y/N’s lips. “Thanks Ning. You look beautiful too.”

Ningning frowned. “You’re still upset, aren’t you?”

And she was right.

True Heart’s Day. It was a night many people looked forward to, and a memory they all knew would solidify within each others’ long term memories. The aspect of getting dressed up and attending a formal event was a luxury that the attendees basked in for even days after the original event. The luminescent lights, the high energy music, the romantic atmosphere— it was all too exhilarating. Although the event wasn’t intended to be a romantic one, many students had made it out to be one. Being the daughter of Cupid, Chaehyun didn’t know if she was satisfied with that outcome or not.

But for Y/N, she hadn’t even wanted to go anymore. After her fight with Riki, being in such a romantic atmosphere only made her more upset than ever. It reminded her that no matter how much she tried to change or how often she attempted to prove that she was more than what the general public made her out to be, she would never be seen as who she really was.

And that made her feel like more of an outsider than ever.

“It’s nothing. I’m excited.” Y/N smiled at Ningning, in hopes that she would stop worrying. “Is it almost time? We should go before it’s too late.”

Ningning groaned, as she remembered where they were going. “Remind me why we’re doing this again? Dances aren’t exactly my type of scene.”

Y/N chuckled. “Because we have to be there to support Chae. She’s counting on us, you know?” She paused, and a sad expression made its way onto her face. “And I don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore.”

Ningning looked at Y/N with an expression on her face, feeling sad for her friend.

She could only hope True Hearts Day would go over well.

After walking around the forest for 15 minutes, Y/N could tell that Ningning didn’t know where she was going. Why would Chae organize the dance to be so far away from the school? She knew they were keeping everything on the down low, but still.

“You have no idea where we’re going, do you?” Y/N giggled as her best friend struggled to figure out where they were going. “Why don’t we just call Chae-”

“No!” Ningning shouted. “I mean, we can’t disturb her. I’m sure we can figure it out on our own.”

Y/N doubted Ningning’s words but didn’t vocalize that.

They wandered around for a few more minutes, when Ningning spotted someone in the distance.

Bingo.

“Beomgyu! Are you guys heading to the True Hearts Day dance?”

Y/N hoped that the other person with Beomgyu wasn’t who she was hoping it would be. But unfortunately, she rarely got what she wanted.

As she looked where Ningning was, Y/N could see Riki in all his entirety. It had been a while since she had fully looked at him, and she felt her heart stop. He was just as beautiful as he’d always been. Y/N couldn’t deny that despite being the one to cut off contact, she had missed him more than ever.

Maybe there was a part of Riki that missed her too?

No, that couldn’t be the case. He said it himself, she only made people miserable.

Deep down Y/N had been pondering on that possibility for years. But hearing someone verbalize it out loud and say it to her, especially someone she liked so much, was extremely hurtful.

But she knew she needed to hear it. Because now more than ever she’s felt sorry for her actions.

Though, did Riki have to be so rude about it?

“Yeah, we’re on our way right now.” Beomgyu answered Ningning’s question while Riki and Y/N had an intense staring contest. “What are you two doing here? Isn’t it in the other direction?”

Ningning facepalmed at her stupidity. They had been going the wrong way. “Oh yeah! I definitely knew that. I was just… making sure you guys would get there safe.”

Chuckling at her denial, Beomgyu smiled. “Right, because that makes so much sense.”

Y/N could see Ningning getting shy. “Well since we’re all here, should we just head over together?” Ningning suggested looking at Y/N to get her approval more than anything.

Although she had been avoiding Riki, Y/N really didn’t want any more bad blood between the two of them. Even if he would never like her back, she missed her friend and would do anything to fix everything. “I’m alright with that. But let’s go faster, because we’ll already be late enough as is.”

The four began walking together, the atmosphere silent but not awkward. They were lucky that they were decent enough friends with each other that being together wouldn’t be an issue.

However with Y/N and Riki too cowardly to apologize to one another, there was a slight tension in the air that was too thick for Ningning and Beomgyu to handle. The two made subtle eye contact, and nodded.

“Hey Y/N,” Beomgyu started, as he approached the distracted girl. “You look pretty.”

Y/N appreciated Beomgyu and his kindness, but she had wished those words were said by a certain someone instead. But she didn’t want to let her disappointment show, so Y/N did what she did best. Hide everything under her teasing personality. “You don’t look too bad yourself, Hood. I mean for once, you don’t look like you just finished rolling in dirt.”

“Oh please, says the girl who sleeps in trees.”

Riki frowned when he heard Y/N and Beomgyu bantering. Did she normally joke around with him like that? How often did they talk to each other? How long had they been friends?

He couldn’t help but feel himself getting jealous that Y/N teased other guys that weren’t him. Though, he should’ve expected it. After all, she teased everyone. Riki was never an exception. Although, he often wondered if her calling Riki by his last name was something she reserved for him or used on others.

But a thought crossed Riki’s mind. Perhaps he wanted to be the only guy that she teased.

“You’re sooooo jealous right now, aren’t you?” Ningning snuck up behind Riki and whispered in his ear. “She might need a little more than a push in the right direction.”

“Ningning wh-”

Ningning put a finger to Riki’s mouth as he was a little too loud for her liking. “Y/N. Be honest, do you like her?”

“I do.”

Before, he would hesitate before saying that he liked her. But at this point, he was too far down the ladder of love to even want to deny it anymore.

Riki Wonderland was in love with Y/N.

“I love her, Ningning. I always have.”

Ningning smiled. “Tell her that. She needs to hear it now more than ever.”

Riki looked past Ningning to where Beomgyu and Y/N were talking. They were a little in front of him, but far enough to where him and Ningning’s conversation would be inaudible. He admired the way she seemed to skip out of excitement, the way the sun made her look ethereal, and the way she made all her movements seem graceful. He glanced at the way her hand dangled on her side, lonely as ever.

He wanted to be the one to hold it.

After some time, the quartet arrived at the venue. Chaehyun had done amazing with the preparations; Y/N and Ningning couldn’t help but feel proud of their friend for what she did. It had taken a long time of planning, but the dance was finally fully fleshed out. It was truly an amazing feat she took up and she executed it beautifully.

There were pink and red hearts scattered around the room, as well as pink and red falling from the ceiling. The punch and snack table was well decorated with various kinds of snacks and spanned from one side of the room to the other. In the middle, there was a dance floor where Yoon Piper was stationed as the DJ. The room was already packed with most of the students in Ever After High, all high off the adrenaline of doing something so risky.

Beomgyu led Riki to meet up with some of their mutual friends who they spotted in the distance. Jungwon Croakington, Jake Charming, and Sunghoon Winter waved them over when they made eye contact. The group was situated near the punch bowl.

Y/N and Ningning went to find Chaehyun, who was sat alone at a table.

“Hey gorgeous,” Ningning complimented Chaehyun. “What are you doing over here alone?”

“After all the preparation I’m kind of tired. Isn’t that funny? I spent so much time making it perfect that I can’t even enjoy how it turned out.” Chaehyun bitterly laughed. “I was with Sullyoon earlier after she helped me set up, but I didn’t want to dampen her mood so I left.”

“But you look too good tonight not to enjoy it!” Y/N put her hand on Chaehyun’s. “Why don’t we go dance so you can loosen up a bit?”

Chaehyun shook her head. “Maybe later, I don’t think I’m in the mood right Besides, I think someone wants to talk to you right now.”

Before Y/N could ask what she was talking about, Chaehyun nodded her head over to where Liz was standing with a sheepish expression.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Y/N knew part of why Riki had lashed out at her was because Liz said something to him, she wasn’t dumb. But in all honesty, she didn’t hold it against the girl. After all, Liz had never acted maliciously towards her. She definitely had an explanation for what she did.

“I just wanted to say sorry for what happened with Riki.” Liz sighed with an apologetic expression. “I was under the impression that you were going to do something that was going to hurt him, and I was just doing what I thought was right. But I should’ve talked to you about it first and not just made assumptions.”

Y/N put on the most genuine smile she could muster to convince Liz she wasn’t upset with her. “It’s okay, you were just trying to be helpful. It’s my fault for acting this way in the first place. If I didn’t, then people wouldn’t have a reason to suspect me of doing bad things.”

Liz frowned when she said this. Did Y/N really see herself in that way? “But you’re more than just that! Throughout our time at Ever After High, I’ve always admired you.” Y/N’s eyes widened when she said that. “I mean, you’re already ready to sign the Storybook of Legends. Even with all the people who don’t like you, somehow you’ve always seemed to have everything together. And I think that’s really strong of you.”

Hearing that from Liz, knowing that there was someone out there who believed there was more to her than what she displayed, it was relieving.

Because it meant that there was the possibility for her to redefine her legacy.

“Thanks Liz, that means a lot to me.” Y/N gave the blonde a hug. “And… I’m sorry for waking you up from your nap that one time.”

Liz chuckled at the memory she had long forgotten. “It was getting late anyways. Maybe I should thank you instead.”

Once the two had finished their discussion, Liz left to go greet Yuna who had just arrived. That left Y/N… alone? She hadn’t even noticed that Ningning and Chaehyun left during her conversation with Liz. But where did they go?

Y/N’s cat eyes trailed to the side of the room and surely enough, she saw her best friends talking to Beomgyu and some of his friends.

Though, Riki was nowhere to be found.

Despite how scared she was to talk to him still, her conversation with Liz had given her a boost of courage and confidence in herself that she wouldn’t have had otherwise. There was something in her that told her she needed to go find Riki and clear the air, because she was tired of the pettiness.

She wanted Riki back.

Y/N needed to find him, but he was nowhere to be found inside of the venue. She looked all around and asked all the people who could possibly know where he was, but nothing was of any help. That’s when it clicked in her brain and she realized that she knew where Riki was all along, and she just hadn’t thought about it.

Before the night could end, Y/N went outside so she could find Riki.

Just as she had hoped, she had spotted him sitting on the branch of a tree, looking up at the stars. Y/N could notice his bed of fluffy hair from anywhere.

She tried to ignore the incessant racing of her heart while she thought about what she was going to say to him for the first time in a week.

“Is there any more room up here?”

Riki looked down when he heard her voice, the voice he had been waiting to hear all night. Memories from the night they spent stargazing when they were 11 filled his mind, as he shook his head. “I was just coming down.”

Riki climbed down the tree as fast as he could but not too fast to where it would ruin his outfit. He still wanted to look good for Y/N even if they were going through a tough time.

“Are you enjoying the dance so far?” Riki asked once he was on the ground and him and Y/N were facing one another.

There was a slight awkwardness in the air, but it was washed out by the fact that they were just happy to be speaking once again.

Y/N nodded. “Chae did a really good job with everything, even if I haven’t been able to enjoy it all yet.”

“What do you mean?” Riki could tell where she was going, but he wanted to let her speak before he made assumptions.

Swallowing her pride, Y/N looked into Riki’s eyes. Those eyes… she had missed them. There was an unreadable expression on Riki’s face that Y/N could only hope meant he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

She didn’t know that he wanted her more.

“I’m sorry Riki, for everything.” Y/N finally let out. “I’m sorry for pranking you so often, and I’m sorry for crossing lines that should’ve never been crossed. I just found you the most fun to prank, but I never wanted to do it so often to the point that it would make you uncomfortable. But I’m trying to get better at noticing those things.” Riki smiled at the fact that she was finally being vulnerable with him. He had waited years for this to happen. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore. That day when we stargazed together, I ran away because I had a fight with my mom. She told me that I wasn’t good for anything, and that I should’ve never been born because I could never continue her legacy anyways. It got really tense between us so I ran away.”

As happy as he was that she was being open with him, he did feel upset with the reasoning. Not because he didn’t like it, but because he was upset it had happened and he couldn’t do anything to take away her pain. To think that she was carrying something so heavy for so long… All Riki wanted to do in that moment was take her pain away.

Riki gave her a sad smile and slowly raised his arms so they would be around his shoulders.

“May I?”

Y/N gave consent and Riki leaned into a hug. It was the first time they had truly been intimate, and it gave both teens a slight fluttery feeling in their stomachs. Faces red and heartbeats synced, the rush of young love was one too overwhelming to bear.

They unknowingly felt themselves succumb deeper and deeper into the feeling of loving one another, both itching to feel more of that lovestruck feeling they always felt when they were together.

“I have one more secret I haven’t told you yet.” Y/N whispered. She was too nervous to use her full voice, as she was afraid that it would come out shaky.

“What is it, Y/N?”

Y/N lifted her head from off of Riki’s shoulder and came face to face with him. Their faces were extremely close but neither wanted to change that. They stared into each other’s eyes for a short moment, though that moment felt longer than it really was.

“Riki, I love you. I always have.” Y/N confessed. “Ever since we first met back in Wonderland, I’ve always found myself drawn to you. And even though I never told you, you helped me a lot that day when I fought with my mom. I only became more infatuated with you from then on, and that’s why I pranked you so much.”

At her confession, Riki felt a wave of relief wash over his entire being. The fact that she felt the same way for so long made him even more giddy on the inside than he already was.

The feeling of having one reciprocate your feelings is something that can’t be replicated elsewhere.

“I love you so much and I don’t know how to handle it. What should I do?” Y/N finally felt comfortable voicing out all her thoughts that they were running out of her mouth like a water stream. She could only thank Riki for that. “How do I fix these feelings?”

Riki mustered up whatever courage was left within him to brush his hand against her lips ever so slightly. “Kiss me.”

After a moment of hesitation, the two leaned into each other until their lips met in a kiss. Both could feel a shock of electricity rush through as their lips melded together like they were always meant to. It only felt right and at that moment, they both realized something.

Perhaps it was all written in the stars.

Though both were inexperienced, so the kiss had ended just as quickly as it started.

“I love you too, Y/N.” Riki realized that he never explicitly stated his feelings to the girl, and he intended on doing so as passionately as he could. “I’ve loved you ever since the first time I saw you pull a prank on someone when we were 8. I’ve always been so interested in you, because you were always an enigma to me. But as we eventually got closer, I felt myself falling deeper in love with you as I learned something about you every day.” Riki was glad to get everything off his chest. “I love you so much that when you got closer to Beomgyu, I lashed out and took it out on you. Because I want to be the only guy you give your attention to.”

“I want to be the only guy you tease.”

Y/N was glad that they were shrouded in the darkness, because her face was burning up more than ever at his words.

She rarely got shy in front of people. But with Riki, the possibilities were endless.

“But I’m sorry for everything I said that day, I was just upset. You don’t make people miserable.” Riki apologized.

“Well I would hope not.” Y/N said with her signature grin, in order to lighten up the mood.

Even though nothing she said was particularly funny, the two found themselves bursting out into laughter. They were running on the emotional high they had gotten from the confessions. But now, knowing that their feelings for each other were felt by the other person, there was nothing left to hide.

Y/N was ready to show every side of her, good, bad, and ugly. Because for once in her life, she noticed that she was more than just the Cheshire Cat’s daughter.

Right then, in that moment, Y/N was capable of being loved for who she really was.

As the night came to a close, they could hear Yoon announce that a slow dance song would be played next from inside the venue.

Riki didn’t have to say any words for Y/N to know what he was going to ask her.

Once the music played, Y/N laid her head on Riki’s shoulders as he led her into a slow dance, their first slow dance as a couple.

Y/N sighed happily into Riki. “You know, you remind me of the stars.”

“Why, because my shirt is blue?” He retorted, referencing the blue top he had worn to the dance.

“No, stupid. I didn’t know why before but I think I figured it out.” Y/N giggled. “The stars are make up the night sky, and they have a place built for them. They’re beautiful. And to me, you’re all of that.”

Riki smiled with nothing but love in his eyes, and kissed Y/N’s forehead. “If I’m the stars, then you’re a constellation. Just like how the constellations connect the stars and make them whole, you do the same for me. You make me feel whole.”

No matter what, Y/N would always look up at the stars and think about Riki. They represented every part of him in his entirety, and she couldn’t get enough of it. Funnily enough, the stars seemed to be shining brighter than usual that night.

The two continued to slow dance into the night, both blinded by the wonders of young love. Being encapsulated by the giddy feelings and speaking sweet nothings to each other was the perfect way to end their story.

Ningning felt her heart swell with pride as she admired the newfound couple. After all the heartbreak Y/N had gone through in her life, it was refreshing to see her genuinely happy for once. She couldn’t help but wonder if she could experience the same soon enough. But that was a problem for another day. This was Y/N’s story, and she was glad to have contributed to her happy ending. She looked between Beomgyu and Chaehyun and nodded.

Chaehyun was relieved to know that Riki and Y/N ended up together. When she looked outside to see for herself if it was true, she let out a long sigh. It was about time.

The future Cupid winked at both of her friends, signaling that their plan had worked.

Perhaps she was better at matchmaking than she thought she was.

authors note. chaehyun beomgyu and ningning best plotters!!!

cheshire taglist. @thesassy-mia @oldjws @enhacatalog @hoonpalettes @star-ism @lprww @asteria-wood

permanent taglist. @muhwaa @hoori @yizhoutv @ja4hyvn @carayat @one16core @enhacolor @haerinz @soobin-chois @en-boyz @ohmy-fandoms @yjwonz @yunki4evr @strwberrydinosaur @duolingofanaccount @iichaeyj @eundiarys @ineedaherosavemeenow @chaerybae @bubblytaetae @w3bqrl @xiaoderrrr @jaeyunnsworld @rikizm @teddywonss @gweoriz @dimplewonie @jennaissantes @kivrio @kaykay11sworld @itsactuallylina (if u requested to be on my permanent taglist and u didn’t get tagged it’s bc i cant see ur acc, but pls dm me if u want to be in it !)

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whore-for-chris-evans · 4 months

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I don't know what you expected but I am still not done talking about the infamous fifth episode of the What If...? show.

Spoiler warnings ahead.

Throughout the episode, while trying to pull Steve out of the mind control, Peggy keeps repeating "Steve, this isn't you, wake up" an abnormal amount of times. It's actually sickening how lacking the scriptwriting is, at least for her character.

Bucky interacts with Steve for barely a minute and even then, his efforts to get Steve back display a wider vocabulary than Peggy's throughout the whole episode.

Furthermore, I'd like to break down and compare Steve's words to Bucky and CATWS, and Peggy's words to Steve in What If...?

Steve: "I'm not gonna fight you," and here he drops the shield into the river below, "you're my friend."

Moments later, as Bucky nearly punches him to death, saying "YOU'RE! MY! MISSION!", Steve's calm, collected response is "then finish it, cause I'm with you till the end of the line."

Yes, tear-jerking, we know. Let's move on.

Peggy, having gone up against Steve in a huge (around the same size as the armour Tony built in the cave) metal suit, made of plutonium or something, and still standing straight up, says:

"I don't want to fight you, I can't fight you anymore. I'm done fighting, I've been fighting for so long, to end the war, to forget what I lost...I'm tired. Steve, I want to be with you. I want you, even if this is the end."

Keeping aside the frustrating repetition of the word "fight" in just a few lines of Peggy's speech, let's look at the motivation behind both the dialogues.

Peggy talks about herself. About how she is tired of the war and of losing people, how she tries to forget how Steve isn't in her life anymore, about how she wants to be with him. Her entire purpose is not to save him, but to save him for herself. Her actions come from a selfish point of view, and by the time she says this, she is far from being as battered and bruised as MCU Steve. In fact, she gets away with just a couple of bruises at the most.

On the other hand, Steve's intention was to free Bucky from Hydra's torture, to protect his childhood best friend and lover. He had been shot multiple times, stabbed at least once, had his skin split open in several areas when he dropped the final bombshell. Steve was nearly dying while he was saying all that; yes he would've loved a second chance at life with Bucky by his side, but it was never his primary focus.

His primary focus was making sure Bucky had a second chance at life, even if he himself died trying. It was as if to say "I may die right here right now, but I love you too much to hurt you any further than I already have. You've always been more dear to me than life itself, so if your mission is truly to kill me, you know I'll support you in it even as you're taking my last breath out of me. All I ask for is your safety and well-being."

And it shows in the consequences too - in CATWS, Bucky not only regains just enough of his memories to stop, but also pulls Steve out of the Potomac before he can drown to death and places him somewhere he knows Sam and Nat and the others will easily spot him.

On the contrary, Hydra Stomper Steve barely shows any affection, shock or remorse towards the woman in front of him, but instead, he flies up to the Red Room and destroys it. It is unclear whether he survives the crash himself.

Like I said before, despite Marvel trying their absolute hardest to push StevePeggy as the superior pairing, they still end up portraying Steve and Bucky's (I say romantic, because Steggy mirroring Stucky proves the latter to be a romance) bond to be far stronger than that of Steve with a woman he only knew for a couple of years at most during a world war.

They dug their own grave and cannot crawl their way out of it. Stucky prevails.

@buckymilf @mainly-marvel @oneofstarkskids @jjmaybanksgun @averageambivert

#steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky #stevebucky #anti peggy carter #what if #what if season 2 #marvel #forever my top ship #on top of all this #of course there's the fact that chris and seb did something in that scene im not sure even they themselves could recreate #there was unbelievable chemistry #and the emotions were real #compared to the bleak ass scenes in what if

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bluginkgo · 1 month

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Just what in the fack did I watch... I'm gonna go watch it again just for funsies and to cry again (Rambles/Thoughts)

This post will mostly contain random rambles and thoughts I had while watching and rewatching the episode. And a lot of this is just going to be me ranting about scenes (the rants will most likely make you wanna go "Ginkgo, that's common sense we can see it smh." XD Just roll with it. Oh and NUzi scenes

Spoilers, duh and lots of words. Oh and gore warning? Kinda?

I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅

First thing I found interesting, is how the Solver behaves in this scene. It's mere shadows, not even fully manifested. Further proves that the Solver transcends simple time and space, and is on a different plane of existence- a 4th dimension if you will.

The humans did, in fact, learn how to control the Solver. The pentagram like projections act as gravity enforcers and lights that subdue the solver for a period of time. Buuuut it seems that it's not full proof. It seems that this occurance is fairly common, seeing as the workers nearby were not very concerned that an eldrich being was about to break loose.

Alright another slow moment here. But I had to google wtf "MacGuffin" meant (English isn't my first language, so take it easy on me ;w;). And taking this straight from the google search "an object or device in a movie or a book that serves merely as a trigger for the plot." So most likely, the Absolute Solver is referring to the fact that Mitchell the intern set things in motion simply because he was mistaken for the real Dr. Chambers... Classic- CLASSIC human mistake XD

So... Heart/Nori. Something interesting is going on with her. I believe Nori WAS injured by the DDs and had to be finished off by Khan. I'll touch on Khan a bit later. But, just as seen with Eldrich J... I'm not sure why I've never thought of this before! It makes sense for Nori's corrupted core: Heart, to still function properly. Meaning, she could have snuck away when she was killed and returned to the cathedral to search for the crucifix. Uzi gets most of her style from Nori 🥹. Seems like Uzi got her mom's style and Khan's engineering abilities.

I had it all wrong- and I am ALL FOR IT! N wasn't afraid of something he saw ahead. He was upset with what they left BEHIND! V! And THIS ENTIRE SCENE

You cannot believe how surprised I was. This scene was so much better than I could have imagined it. Yes, it was painful to watch, but sweet robo-god this was executed SO DAM WELL TwT It was delicious angst. And Tessa was not in fact drawing her sword on Uzi, but instead protecting her... kinda... with an ulterior motive of course.

The gut wrenching betrayal right there. The animation team did a wonderful job at animating the betrayal and how it manifested in Uzi. Disbelief and then anger.

Not to mention her stumble. I hyper fixated on that stumble a bit too much on my first 2 watches. (Yes, I've rewatched the episode 8 times now, hush I love it XD). Her stumble shows weakness. And in that moment, she wishes to be anything BUT weak. The suspicion of betrayal is settling in, and she needs to be able to fight back. But her body is giving out. The events are taking a toll on her. And makes me appreciate the animation detail that much more.

This scene N is definitely angry. He's trying his best to keep it together and Tessa's pressure to injure and kill Uzi is not helping. So for him to be talking to Uzi, while glaring at Tessa is just him driving the point home. He is NOT going to hurt Uzi, no matter what they might find down in the labs.

But a poor choice of words that was. It gives Uzi a glimpse of what was actually happening and what has been bothering N. The trust vaporizes, and with it, any attempts with communication.

And what I believe, gives a nod back to ep2. As N steps in to try to help Uzi up, she retreats. Same happens in this episode. And the kicker? "Falling... for you" song starts lightly playing in the background.

This is far too comical after he says he deserves to have his limbs cut off. The whiplash I got from that is ridiculous... in a sad and funny way.

What an amazing shot. But it does paint a picture of what the DDs have done. Perhaps the blood also acted as cooling agents, and this is why the trend continued with robots- except this time around as oil. And this is what the Administration CYN most likely blocked out. Not only the manor time, but also the bloodbath that followed as Earth collapsed.

THE DOG MADE IT IN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's interesting on how the solver manifests in the drones. It seems that Uzi's wings and tail, do not make the solver go insane, and she can continue to use it. However, later in the episode the same wings and tail go berserk. So it seems that once the transformation has set in- like with Uzi- it becomes part of the drone rather something that is manifested by the Absolute Solver's control.

SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE XD Part 2A that Khan refers to is on the bottom left corner, the green core that Uzi got a hold of back in pilot episode- also titled as "I think this is a robot liver or something lol."

Plan B: Uzi could have had a normal gun if railgun didn't work. Bottom right corner

Top left corner under Uzi's railgun title: "30 min recharge time. That'll be fine." Famous last words ever XD

Top right corner: "Other things it can do: Not judge me, force prom dance, I can say I had friends but fricken murdered them with sci fi weaponry."

I love how sassy he is here XD His character development and arc is something that I will never forget. He has definitely come a great ways. Khan also seems adamant about his wife being completely dead. Which proves that he didn't know a single thing about the Absolute Solver and what it can do. He could only reference Nori's insane drawings and deduce that the planet was going to eat them all soon.

Idk if this is just my tired brain, but this comment felt like a joke to me. (Remember, I don't know anything about computers and the language ;w;) But the physical patch to save herself... as in, the same patches that are sent out for games/programs to fix bugs? That's the joke I got out of that one 😅

This entire sequence was something out of my nightmares XD The heel tapping that KEPT GETTING QUICKER definitely had me reeling back from the screen XD

The Nori and Yeva scene was so wholesome 🥹. I loved the way the animators showed their interaction. Despite the hellish events, they were still close.

My only issue with this image is, on what is Doll moving? Not like the floor. The core is gone from her body, what the heck is still driving her forward? Perhaps just on the sheer will to warn Uzi to "fight back." And I suppose I can see how she could still move without her main core. Almost acting like chickens do, when you cut their heads off. One was able to live for 18 months after the head was cut. So I suppose I can get behind the idea that Doll's final wish was to warn Uzi, at the very least, and thus forced the body to move until it did so.

But then, Tessa shows up. Which makes me wonder if she was the one that simply lead Doll's body to come to Uzi. How? Uhhh... Absolute Solver! Let's just go with that sweat face. The con in that theory is a simple: why? Why bother leading Doll to Uzi? To spook her? To give a false reason to attack Uzi? Given that N was still very much behind them all, I don't see why the Absolute Solver would try to make up some odd reason to attack Uzi. It could just simply... go ahead. There was no one there to fool, and could incapacitate Uzi easily. Buuuut I could also be looking too deep into this, as per usual.

Hey guess what.

I found the answer. XD Just as I'm typing this up, a frame popped up.

Yup, the core was still inside and thus running Doll and thus Doll could move, ok carry on. XD

Emotions spike the Absolute Solver, something that I love seeing and appears to be less headcanon and more canon at this point for me. Through the entire episode, the Solver keeps glitching out and forcing Uzi to lose control because in this situation, she's very stressed. A betrayal, a misunderstanding, learning about the past, everything becomes too much. This makes keeping the solver at bay that much harder.

He did NOT give her any chance. Yes or no, Tessa. That suddenness surprised me- in a good way. This shows how much N has grown. He's willing to stand up for his beliefs that much better. If he suspects something, he now acts on it, and does not wait for the other side to perhaps change his mind.

This scene. This scene shall live in my head rent free for a long while... Actually, the entire episode is gonna live rent free for a while. XD Not to mention the "Falling... for you" song plays in the background yet again. Ugh, pulling on heart strings there ;w;

They had us all fooled XD The hand lights were on just to trick us, and in fact were meant to be off this entire time! Oh you sneaky sneaky people. >w<

ALL OF THESE SCENES, they're all so cruel but SO GOOD TwT So cruel in context of how tortured N must be to fight Uzi, but so good in context that this fight sequence and animation is executed SO WELL. All of Nori's slaps were so personal XD Mama Nori educating NUzi

When I saw this scene, I couldn't help but think of ep3 and their dance. This entire episode is so bittersweet ;w;

She's still there TwT And she sees this entire fight. Of what she has become and done to N and omg I'm crying again. Moving on.

OMG YOU SILLY GOOBER BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XD I love Nori/Heart's reaction, but the Absolute Solver also gets me laughing a bit too hard. "WHAT." That's so simple yet so effective. "What. Why. You are a DD I sent to kill the hosts, why are you hanging out."

The entire scene with NUzi screaming. Just. YES. What better way of gettin rid of stress than screaming! ^_^

Oh you sneaky, sneaky people. Well, all I can say, you got me. You got me good. This is something I didn't think of, but should have. It's simple to get these shots with certain rigs missing. And it was done seamlessly. Well done, well done. I begrudgingly applaud you. XD

HE'S PATTING HER HEAD AAAAHHHHH *proceeds to ascend to another realm*

They did not... omg they did XD Ah, yes, welcome a new horror oh and by the way here- :3 a cute face

Omg they look so cool- KHAN WTF XD

LOL J THE PRIOR HAZARD WARNING AHAHAHAHAHA

The way she shook his hand trying to snap him back to himself and wake up 😭. And the entire sequence following this... I'm just now slowly starting to process it, oh and great I'm sobbing again. Alright, moving on.

Well, I have some thoughts in this. This is personal thoughts, thus this is where you are more than free to yeet this section into the void that Uzi was dragged into... sorry that was a bad joke- anyways. "Die mad." I feel like this is her way of telling N to not give up. To go out there and FIGHT. But if he can't win, then to die like she is. To die in a way that he will be proud of and to go batsh*t crazy. Because by now, Uzi must know that all of their chances of survival are slim. So you might as well go out with a bang and "die mad."

Something I noticed and was further solidified when @bloodywolfwings also mentioned it. Uzi looks at peace here and very accepting of death. And I say, yes, she very much is. I think this was a way of her asking N for forgiveness. For getting mad at him in the beginning of the episode, for failing to be useful/protecting N, and for fighting against him- despite being possessed. And perhaps even, as an incredibly insane and radical thought, for loving him. This entire episode has put the characters and us through the wringer, and that "sacrifice" was just the cherry on top.

Something I have seen already mentioned once at very least (by @/rebecca-babe) and something that also put me on edge was the ending credits... or the lack of. Of course, all the credits roll, but it's not the usual type. Instead of an upbeat music that is either "Uzi the drone killer" or a theme that was seen in the episode... its SILENCE. Being a musician myself, I love how much love has been put into Murder Drones. The sound effects and the main music are always top-notch. But that ending unsettled me the most. The lack of all noise is something that is terrifying and unsettling in that ending. Almost like all the music and sound left with the "sacrifice" of the main character, Uzi. The entire episode was filled with sounds, silence only being present when something incredibly WRONG was happening - like at the beginning when intern Mitchell re-entered the cathedral. And as much as I love how well executed this entire scene was, I hated it. Because that scene does the job that it was set out to do. Put you on edge, and make you feel like all hope is lost. That this is it. This is the end.

This is the end of my rambles and thoughts that I had while watching ep7. I may have more later on as I keep rewatching this episode for the rest of the week ;w;

Want to hear more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts!

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