#but then i looked them up and i was like 'i think python sounds like who the song is being sung about rather than the singer'

[tipsyleaf]

NSFW ALPHABET

[DI! Leon S Kennedy Edition]

❗Minors Do Not Interact ❗

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Cuddler, massive cuddler. Honestly I see Leon as enjoying his partner being cuddled up to his chest but as long as you're touching each other he really doesn't mind. He just needs to be grounded after sex because he's not use to intimacy. (Remember y'all, aftercare in important FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED DOM/SUB/SWITCH WHOEVER!!!)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Definitely proud of his arms. Man's got two pythons where his forearms are supposed to be. I'd be proud of those bitches too. It also doesn't help how often you tend to cling to them, admire them while cuddling up together or compliment how they look when he flexes.

When Leon's asked the good old "tits or ass?" question older than time itself he smirks and simply says thighs. He loves something plush to nap on when he comes home from work. He always says it'll be a quick 30 minute nap but he's always out for 3 hours when he's laying his head on your lap. They're just such a nice pillow and even nicer wrapped around his head.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Usually prefers finishing inside. If not then on your stomach. There's just something mesmerizing about watching his cum slowly drip out of you on down your belly that just makes him so horny that he can't get enough of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Okay... So you send Leon pictures and he saves them. (He'd never share them though) But he secretly has an album in his phone labeled as WORK meticulously organization so that when you open the album it has important looking photos but if you scroll far enough it's just things you've sent him. Nudes, videos, even screenshots of steamy texts.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Decently experienced. Enough to get him by but also good at listening to his partner. Takes criticism well in the bedroom. Just wants his partner to have a good time and show that he loves you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

On your side or anything he can see your face. He's often tired so slow easy strokes on his side and using his hands is right up his alley. But for when he's feeling more energetic he's definitely up anything he can see your reaction with. He aims to please and the man is a good shot.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Definitely 50/50. Leon can crack jokes when his life is at risk I'm sure he'd probably say something goofy to make you laugh or even something stupid like "come here often?" When you're changing positions and his creaky body pops or cracks he'll say some smart ass comment about the bed makes weird sounds again.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Definitely trimmed. Leon doesn't strike me as a massively hairy guy to begin with. But what hair he does have is well kept.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Intimacy is his favorite part of it all. Very tender and soft compared to what he is during work. Enjoys the touching the most. He's very touch starved. Cuddle him and he'll melt into a puddle. He LOVES being little spoon.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jerks off often. Uses it as a stress relief thing but doesn't do it as often when he gets a partner. But I do think when he's away on cases and he has downtime at night he tends to call his partner and have phone sex.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Begging, biting, breeding, dirty talk, edging and roleplaying

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere at home. Leon would most likely be super hesitant about doing anything outside of the house and risking criminal record.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

His partners touch. Leon just really likes being touched. If you mostly just kiss him and move to his neck (it's sensitive, that's why he rarely wears anything that constricts his neck) you'll get him going in no time.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

No hitting, nothing with feet, no bathroom related stuff, no voyeurism or exhibitionism and no humiliation

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

50/50. But definitely more giving in the oral department. Uses it as a form of foreplay. Enjoys it because he loves hearing your slowly break and cry for him.

Sometimes he's just to exhausted to fuck so those are the times he'll just straight up tell you to sit on his face. He doesn't care if you're bigger, he knows you're not gonna hurt him. If you try hovering her will definitely wrap his arms around your thighs and pull you down on him. The man is skilled with his mouth and hands. So be prepared for the time of your life.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely slow sensual type of guy. He likes making every moment last. But there's definitely been a flurry of passion after gets back from particularly long cases.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If he has to go out for work and he has a little bit of time before leaving, most definitely he'd be down for a quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's fine with experimenting but not often.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Good for 3 rounds unless he's super tired. Last decently long, always makes sure his partner gets off first each time.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Oh Leon definitely owns one of those vibrators that work with apps. Sometimes when he's due to come home and he knows you have it in you he'll just tease you on the way home.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Usually Leon doesn't tease but when he's in a particular frisky mood, he will make beg to cum. And he doesn't care if you want it. If you don't beg like he wants he will make you wait and keep bringing you to the edge over and over like an asshole.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not loud in the slightest but he's definitely not scared to moan or whimper. Even curse under his breath, especially if he has you on your side and he's right in your ear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Said I love you for the first time during sex. Was mortified with himself, he meant it but was extremely embarrassed. Apologized profusely and told you he did mean it. And thankfully you love him back, obviously.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Ah yes, python 3. I'll be honest, I'd say he's at the higher average end in size but makes up for it in girth... Like a fucking coke can.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Leon had little to no sex drive but once you two got into a relationship he's like a teenage boy again. Can barely stop from wanting you all the time. But he's still more of the romantic intimate type and would rather just exist with you than constantly be at each other.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He clings onto life afterwards. Just wants to make sure you're taken care of but the second you relax against him he's down for the count. Like a god damn bear in hibernation.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon s kennedy #resident evil x reader #🌿 ivy writes

[our-reality]

"other side of paradise is a swift song lol"

#ty bonk for reminding me this song exists cuz. :) #they rlly said 'the last part of other side of paradise is a thatcher song' and i was like 'oh yeah! *starts bawling*' #i thought this song was gonna be a python song at first cuz i didn't remember the specific lyrics #but then i looked them up and i was like 'i think python sounds like who the song is being sung about rather than the singer' #and immediately after i went 'what if swift was the singer.' #I'M RLLY FUCKED UP RN THE SONG IS REALLY GOOD BUT... #i was gonna put some lyrics here that made me especially ill but then i realized that's like. the entire song #i think the girl being referred to in the song is like. humanity collectively #esp since python. is gay and aro LMAO #and on that note. 'that girl is gone but i still try' what if i fucking screamed #uhm i could dissect the entire song tbh but i don't feel like it i just got home from a 6 hr road trip lol #i'm so normal (lying) #swift #also kiss me son of god is a very vysel song. i also discovered this thanks to bonk LOL #we've been very mentally ill together lately it's been fun ❤❤❤ #'the chorus of kiss me son of god is double meaninged for vysel' cut to me screaming and sobbing #sorry i haven't posted in a while i've been busy with tmc brain worms LMAO

[gojosatoruwifey]

ㅡglub glub glub glub glub

✑ happy happy happy birthday to our red fishie ♡(◕ᗜ◕✿) as usual, this fic is written the day before my finals exam (・ω ・✿)

✿ warning/s: fluff, short, blushy! rafayel is the best rafayel, simps, let me know if i missed something!

✿ character/s: rafayel, fem! reader

📜🖋️🎀SUPPORT MY KO-FI🎀🖋️📜

it’s his birthday so you follow what he does that makes your heart skip a beat

rafayel is in for a surprise.

he already suspected that you’re doing something fishy behind his back, especially the date in the calendar that tells him that his birthday is around the corner. a good boyfriend that he is, he will just let you do your thing.

rafayel didn’t, in fact, see this coming. 

the smooch landing on his cheek was so swift that if he didn’t know you’re standing before him, waist bent down as you put your weight to your one arm and the other retrieving a small pillow beside him — he is thinking to check himself into the mental ward, complain to the doctor there that he is having a hallucination of you kissing him randomly and so suddenly at that as he lazily sprawled to the couch, phone in hand.

you, with all your might, maintained a composed face as if you didn’t just copy one of your boyfriend’s cute antics that he is unaware makes your thoughts haywire. rafayel’s gradient stellar eyes stare wide at you, perplexing surprise swirling behind those beautiful pools as he looks up at you from the couch.

a successful cheer erupted inside your mind. satisfied with his reaction, calling forth every cell in your brain to commit his face to memory. rafayel’s reddening cheeks all the way to his ears, doe eyes round and shiny. 

turning on your back with the pillow hugged by your arms, you act like you don’t mind him and continue on your way.

success!

to be honest, when rafayel gets whiny, begging for attention or dragging you to a spontaneous date, it awakens a dormant beast within you.

so, when it’s your turn to act cutesy around him, you’re looking forward to it.

internally, rafayel is losing his mind. whose fault is it? you, who else. what in the world have you been up to? your recent actions have become unpredictable and difficult for him to anticipate.

you're doing it again! he bit his lower lips he’s afraid blood would soon appear as you had a python grip on his arm, pouty and sulky dripping on your voice, “i want that one, win me artsy birb plushie! please? rafayel?”

“i…” where did his usual nonchalant of a bodyguard go.

he felt you get closer, “i will! i will!” rafayel maneuver the claw, his arm still pressed to your body, clinging to him. oblivious to the grin curled on your lips. the heat on his cheeks and ears hasn’t gone away, staying there much to his chagrin.  if he were to glance at the couple in the reflection of the claw machine plush’s glass, he might have not missed it.

another success!

now, onto the last one. you are not so sure how to proceed with this one. it’s not that you’re not confident to pull this move to him but rather, how to make the timing right. should it be on the day? to have better lighting? what of the place? should you hold this in the destiny cafe or at his home or yours? a date is a go-to since you can create a more romantic atmosphere so a date it is, then. you nodded to yourself.

on the other hand, rafayel’s heart will explode the more he lets you hold the reign. it's bad for his health. what will happen to linkon were their precious artist gets sick? he will blame you, really.

if you pull another one…

shit, he curses. it's late morning, brunch, unoccupied second floor with just the two of you, the muffled tappings of laptop keys below, the occasional bell ring when a customer enters and the staff greeting them, the beeping indicator of the hot water in the kitchen, the sound of beans hitting the bottom of the container, the rush of coffee cascaded in a cup.

and the warm sunlight pouring into the table where you two are sitting.

a finger lightly brushed the strands of his hair near his eyes. rafayel watches mutely. the words he has been practicing and the dramatic actions he thought last night are gone in an instant. you move away from the strays as you make eye contact with him, muttering, “there. i can see you better. don’t look down like that or you will hurt your neck.”

red bursts completely all over his face. steam coming out of his head.

“what’s the matter with you? you look like reddie.”

k.o!

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #lads #lads rafayel #lads rafayel x reader #lads fluff #l&ds #l&ds rafayel #l&ds x reader #love and deepspace fluff #rafayel fluff #l&ds rafayel x reader

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Snakes of Africa: Ball Pythons

This is the first of a series on African snake species, where I go through how they live in the wild and attempt to demystify some aspects of care and myths surrounding African snakes.

We all know the myths about ball pythons. They're from "a narrow strip in Africa," they don't need to climb, they don't need really high humidity...let's challenge some of those ideas!

If you don't know just how big Africa is, it's easy to underestimate how big the ball python's range is, too. I think it's easier to understand if you look at it on a global map:

That's a big area! Wild ball python habitats range from grasslands to forests, cutting through arid savannahs and even into rainforests.

Because the climate across the ball python's range is so variable, they are best understood as habitat generalists - they have perimeters they prefer, and they can find ways to adapt in different environments.

A large portion of the ball python's range is arid, and that leads to one famous fact about them: ball pythons love termite mounds, because they provide them with a nice and very humid area to nap. Even among people who know wild ball pythons love termite mounds, that's often used as reason to justify keeping them in too-small enclosures. After all, termite mounds don't sound like they're very big...

But they are.

Termite mounds are one of the reasons ball pythons are such good climbers.

Despite their arid habitat, wild ball pythons (aside from seeking out termite mounds) will also seek out wet areas, such as streams and lakebeds. In captivity, humidity isn't something you should skimp on for a ball python. At least 60% humidity is essential, and closer to 70% is ideal, and a humidity box allows your snake to have an area that's close to 100% humidity at all times. Humidity boxes also allow for a range of humidity conditions, like your snake would experience in the wild!

An extremely common myth about ball pythons is that they don't climb and won't take advantage of enrichment. This couldn't be further from the truth! In the wild, ball pythons are excellent climbers and are known to even hunt in trees. Multiple studies surveying wild ball pythons have found nearly half of their subjects in trees. These are not solely terrestrial snakes.

Another stereotype about ball pythons is that they're "pet rocks." If you give them enrichment and look at their wild behavior, this couldn't be further from the truth! Wild ball pythons are observed as being very active snakes who will actively hunt and seek out food rather than relying on strict ambush predation strategies. That's one reason it's best to feed your pet ball python when you see them out and "hunting!"

Of course, wild snakes will be more active than pet snakes simply for the sake of survival, but their activity level in the wild is indicative of what it should be more like in captivity. Some inviduals are a bit lazy, sure, but by and large most ball pythons will take advantage of every inch of space you give them. Climbing branches, tunnels, and new things to check out are a must!

Because wild ball pythons are habitat generalists, that also clues us into what enrichment they most enjoy. In the wild, along with climbing (which they love!), ball pythons are also known to swim (though they mostly only due this when necessary) and dig burrows. In captivity, many pet ball pythons enjoy an occasional soak, so it's good to provide a big enough water dish for them to curl up in, and some individuals enjoy digging burrows. If you provide an extra few inches of substrate for your snake to dig in, you might be surprised by how much they enjoy it!

Now, let's talk about food! In the wild, ball pythons eat a wide variety of rodents and a lot of birds. In fact, their semi-arboreal habits mean they even eat a lot of bats when they can catch them! Unfortunately, one of the tricky things about their diet is that their favorite foods in the wild include shrews, jerboas, African soft-furs, rufous-nosed rats, and other rodents that are just honestly impossible to source for your pet ball python. In captivity, a diet of rats is appropriate, and unfortunately it can be hard to provide variety to many ball pythons simply because a lot of them just prefer more hard-to-find rodents and will resist switching back to rats. For good, non-picky eaters, though, other rodents and chicks make excellent treats.

Ball pythons have a reptutation as very picky, finicky eaters, but honestly it's my experience that this effect is much, much lesser when their husbandry is consistently appropriate. Making sure to provide adequate humidity seems especially important in ensuring your ball python is a good eater! Additionally, ball pythons tend to like it a bit hotter - 90 F (32 C) is a good hot-side temperature for most ball pythons.

If there's anything to take away from this brief look into wild ball pythons, it's this: these snakes will thrive best if given the opportunity to engage in more natural behaviors. Climbing, digging, and exploring are essential for any ball python!

Ball pythons are so much more than just "pet rocks." If you provide them with space and enrichment, you'll be delighted by what fun, active, curious, and engaging pets they are!

(This message is approved by my sweet girl Miriam.)

#not a rating #snakes of africa #ball pythons #long post

[idkfitememate]

Since anons are putting diffirent types of animals for the baor!creator, what if theres like a snake!creator? I kinda thinking of Baizhu white snake(what was her name again?) and the one who find them is Zhongli, well more like Snake!creator found him instead, this how I was thinking they met.

Zhongli just sipping some tea right? enjoying the sunlight and the chitter or Liyue habor, then suddenly theres smiley/squsiy texture slither around his leg(he panics cuz I heard he hates slimey texture? smt along those lines ig), he looks down and see, a spotless and shiny ass snake slithering around his leg, they made eye contact, but the snake only continues slithering, Zhongli face is disgusted since well, slimey, but he was gentle when removing the snake and helding it face to face, they both held eye contact, before, the snake lick his nose, and Zhongli's thoughts after the action 'holy shit that was adorable' after that, you can always see Zhongli with a snake slithering around his arms, and shoulders

MEME:

Zhongli: 'I only have this snake for 5 mintues'

Zhongli: 'If anything happens to them, I kill everyone in this Habor and then myself'

Her name (Baizhu’s snake) is Changsheng! And I love big snakes so… Reticulated python! The larges recorded was 32 ft and 9 1/2 in (9 m and 98.22 cm)! Itto is about 6 ft 4 in (1 m and 93.04 cm), so a Reticulated python is around 9 and 9/10 Itto’s ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა!

Hearing screams and feeling something running across his leg was not how Zhongli wanted to spend his time.

The way this man was considering just spearing the damn thing beneath his was… it was honestly scary. Children ran from the sight of his glare.

Whatever it was it was long. And slimy. And it moved his pants legs up so he could feel it on his skin.

Not fun.

He finally had enough and looked underneath the table, grabbing what he held thought to be the head.

And he did grab the head!

It required both hands, however.

Because what he pulled up was probably one of the largest non magical snakes he had ever seen in his life. And he’s lived a long ass time mind you.

His first genuine thought was ‘Changsheng’s cousin?’ And then he realized how dumb that sounded.

And then you licked his nose.

New best friend.

You couldn’t.. wrap around him. But you followed him. Closely. People of the Harbor honestly thought it fit Zhongli to have a regal snake following him as a companion. He was slick and snake like, after all.

Despite your… largeness however, Zhongli did like it whenever you wrapped around him to the best of your abilities. It was nice to feel the squeeze of a fellow reptilian.

When he found out that for some reason you could stomach human foods and liquids? Oh you know this man was on top of having you try out different teas and seeing if you tell the difference.

And when Hu Tao met you? You became the scarf of her as well. She loves patting your head and tries her damndest to get to understand the importance of selling coffins and getting people into them.

Seeing you preform tasks for the Funeral Parlor isn’t unusual, but the one place you can’t go is the Bubu Pharmacy. You and Changsheng fucking hate each other.

Snakes are super territorial after all.

She’s not allowed around Hu Tao or Zhongli, you’re not allowed around Baizhu or Qiqi.

Fair is fair but you really wanted to meet Qiqi and Baizhu.

Xiao has mixed feelings about you. On the one hand: Yay! Zhongli is happy! On the other: Zhongli is getting softer and softer damn-

That all changed when you wrapped around him.

Now the Adeptus protect you.

The way you would swallow a mob or thief in front of them and they’d just stare because you technically just committed murder.

Yeah, your everyone’s - minus Baizhu and Qiqi - new best friend.

Sorry if this is bad, I didn’t much know what to do… I feel bad- Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed it though ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა!

#anon <3 #asks <3 #Snake!Creator

[myosotisa]

falling down - s.h.

Steve Harrington x Reader

‖  summary: Running out of a night out with friends having an anxiety attack, your friend Steve comes looking for you. After spending some time talking together, he makes sure you get home safe.

‖ tags: hurt/comfort, description of an anxiety/panic attack, discussions of issues opening up and being vulnerable. overall just comfort and real talking to each other. gender neutral reader, no pronouns, no physical description given. reader is nicknamed 'Ace', one use of sweetheart, no use of Y/N.

‖  word count: 3.8k

The full body freeze. Face buzzing, fingers going numb. Everything is too loud, too bright, too much. You’re floating and you’re drowning and you’re fading into nothing all at once. All you know is you have to get out and it has to be now.

You’re not completely aware of yourself as you back away from the arcade machine and feel your feet travel towards the exit. No one pays you any mind, all wrapped up in their own little worlds, until you’re almost out the door.

"Ace?" It's Robin's voice, slightly slurred with alcohol and confusion. "Where are you going?"

You plaster on a smile as you throw a look over your shoulder, towards where Robin is leaning on the bar in front of Argyle, who also now has his attention on you.

"Just going out to get some air." It sounds too normal, there is no way your voice should still sound that stable, no way you can cover it that well. You push out the door before either of them can reply.

It's dark out now, the light posts around the little outdoor mall glowing in the humid night. It feels suffocating and you pull at the collar of your shirt without even thinking about it. Even out here everything feels so constricting, so wrong. Your feet carry you away from the bar and south.

You don't remember getting to the edge of the concrete overhang, but it’s quieter here. Calmer. You recognize your body is probably drawing you to the park, to safety and quiet and solitude – but you pull back, wrapping your arms tight around your middle almost as if you were trying to physically hold yourself together. Hold your spirit in your body and keep yourself from floating away. A shiver wracks your body as a cold breeze rolls across the half empty parking lot to your right. It feels human, feels grounding. Like your body is really there and can really feel. And though it’s uncomfortable, it’s also calming.

You lean your forearms on top of a concrete half wall that makes a slight break between the mall and the parking lot. Trying to breathe in and out. Trying to chase away the panic and the fear and the pain. Let it out into the night air. But it just grabs on tighter. Digs its claws in and tightens its grip around your chest. Constricts around you like a python until it feels like your eyes are going to pop right out of their sockets. You fight the urge to lose your dinner by digging your nails into your sides as a shiver-sob wracks your frame from your place on the floor. When did you end up sitting on the sidewalk?

“Ace?” A voice breaks through the haze but you can’t move, can’t respond, can’t process whether this person is looking to help or harm. “Hey, are you out here?” The voice is getting closer and you are both terrified to be found like this and terrified to be left alone here. You hear the soft tap of shoe soles on the tile inlay you passed on the way here and then, “Sweetheart? Ace!” They’re running toward you but you can’t look, can’t breathe, can’t stop shaking.

Large, warm hands hover over the tops of your shoulders and then pull back. “Ace, can you look at me? Are you hurt?” Steve kneels on the floor beside you, his voice slightly pitchy in alarm. You can’t meet his eyes but manage to shake your head no, both to being able to look and being hurt. He tries to ask you something else but you can’t hear it over the blood suddenly rushing through your ears.

“Can I touch you?” He asks again, his voice cutting through the lull this time, so respectful and kind as always. You want to tell him yes, of course, please hold me and tell me it's going to be okay and make the pain stop. But you can’t say anything at all. He hesitates in your orbit after not getting an answer so you just grab at the front of his shirt, basically throwing yourself onto him as he gets knocked back onto his ass.

He’s frozen for a moment in shock but then wraps his arms around you tight, one arm around your mid back and the other reaches a hand into your hair, cradling your head from where it’s buried in his shoulder. You don't even have the energy to question the situation or your actions or where you are or what time it is. All you can do is hold on tight to Steve like he’s the only thing keeping you on Earth and cry your eyes out into his burgundy crew neck. He rests the side of his head on the top of yours, rubbing your back and whispering into your ear. Telling you, “It’s going to be okay. I’m here. You’re going to be alright. Just breathe for me.” The reassurances wash over you like rain, the flames fading and the smoke clearing. The grip around your chest loosening.

It takes some time before your breathing starts to even out. You try to flex your numb fingers from where they are still stiffly fisted in his shirt. He continues rubbing his hand up and down your spine. “That’s it, you’re doing great, Ace.” His voice is soft and comforting, gentle, and you can feel even more of the tension leaving your body as you sink further into him.

You sit there in silence for another few minutes while he just holds you. You try to match his breathing as you rest your forehead against the side of his neck. You feel so small like this, so fragile. But strangely… safe.

Steve pulls away first, leaving you mourning the loss of his warmth. You are still close enough that your legs can touch but he obviously wants to look at you and talk. You just stare down at your hands in your lap, unable to meet his eyes.

“Are you okay? Well, I know you’re not okay but…” He rubs the back of his neck as he draws one leg up so he can rest his elbow on it. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes,” your voice is small and more hoarse than you thought it would be. “Thank you.”

“Oh, sure.” He pauses then, picking up a stone to roll between his fingers in a cycle that seems to be an effort to delay his questioning. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” You close your eyes with a sigh, not ready for the questioning part of being found out like this. He immediately backtracks when he clocks it. “You don’t need to tell me anything, if you don’t want to. I’m just… I’m worried.” When you don't move or react, he continues softly. “Does this kind of thing happen a lot?”

That seems like a safer question, one you can answer. “Not as much as it used to.” Your eyes open then, finally glancing over to him. The warm lighting from overhead gives him a golden glow, even more so than usual. He looks tired and concerned, eyebrows drawn together on his forehead. His wire rimmed glasses are smudged, probably from you basically jumping him on the sidewalk, and there’s some dirt on the knees of his light wash jeans. “I’m sorry.”

His head falls to the side like a confused puppy. “For what?”

“For this,” you gesture vaguely around you both. “For losing it like that.”

“You don’t need to apologize at all. It’s okay. You know I’ve struggled with my fair share of ‘losing it’ out here.” You look away again, over toward the park that continues to draw you in. Try to ignore the voice in your head immediately telling you to feel guilty for putting him through this. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

The question hits you like a slice across your heart; a warm, painful feeling blooming in your chest. You want to. Holy hell, do you want to tell him everything. But it feels like steel wool in your throat. Like letting any of it out would coat you both in blood and gore. “I… I don’t know.” Is all you can say.

He seems to understand. “Okay.” And you expect him to leave. You expect him to get up and head back to the bar with his friends. But he doesn’t. He stays right there, his knee touching yours as he looks out over the parking lot. He seems content to just sit there in silence with you and it pulls at that bloom in your chest until it feels ready to burst.

“How did you know?” You want to know, feel like you need to know how he found you. How he knew you needed help.

“Before I went to the pool room with Eddie, it seemed like you had pulled away. In your head, at least.” It’s your turn to watch him as he looks out into nothing. “I’ve noticed that happens with you sometimes. Like you’re suddenly on a different planet far away from here.” His knee twitches a bit closer to yours, almost like his body is testing to see if you’re still there. “I don’t think anyone else notices, in case your brain went there. No one has ever said anything at least.” He jumped to reassurance quickly, his tone changing fast. When you don't outwardly react, he clears his throat like a vocal reset before continuing. “When I got back, you were gone. I asked Rob if she had seen you and she said you left in a rush.” He glances back over nervously. “I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Another tear falls and you wipe it away with the back of your hand. “Well, thank you. You score another point on the leaderboard of the ‘thoughtful friend’ competition.” You try to throw some humor in it to mask the scratchiness in your voice, to put up some of the walls again.

His eyes meet yours again and it's like he can see right through you. See everything you’re trying to hide, everything you’re thinking. Like those walls you’re trying to put back up might as well be tissue paper for how well they keep him out. “Do you want to go back to the bar?”

You know you should, you should want to go back to your friends. It’s Friday night and you all normally hang out for at least another few hours around the back rooms. But you’re just so tired, so drained. You couldn’t put the mask back up enough to be comfortable there. You shake your head, bringing your arms up to hold your elbows.

“Me neither,” he agrees. You glance at him surprised and he gives a small, mischievous smile. “There are only so many times I can play games of pool with Eddie before I need a break.”

A snort huffs out of your nose then, which seems to relax him when his smile lifts a bit more casually. His shoulders lower from their tense position as he leans back against the concrete wall. “So what do you want to do? Do you want to go home?” You shake your head again. You know Robin won’t be coming home tonight and the apartment you share with her feels too empty, too dark, too far away when she’s gone. You need a little more time away from it.

“Do you want to be alone?” He offers, and you can’t place how he feels about the question when he asks it.

You should. You should pull away from him, deal with this on your own. Resist the urge to open up to him, to rely on him. It’s too dangerous. But the idea of being by yourself right now sounds like a recipe for disaster. “No,” you admit softly, “I don’t.”

His head dips a bit in acknowledgment. Then he moves to stand with a small groan, dusting off his pants before offering his hand to you. “Come on.”

You take it without thinking, letting him pull you to your feet. “Where are we going?” You try not to let yourself be disappointed when he lets your hands drop.

“I’m going to go sit on the swings,” he puts his hands into the pocket of his jeans as he steps around you toward the park. “Will you come with me?” He turns back to watch you and you might just be projecting, but his face shows thinly veiled hope that you’ll say yes. That you’ll go with him. It almost makes your heart beat double time in your chest.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You answer, smiling softly. He mirrors it, leaning his head to motion you ahead. You step up and fall into pace as you walk side by side over to the playground in the center of the small center of greenery.

The glow of the street lights fade, leaving you in shadows and moonlight as you make your way around the concrete paths and toward the grass beyond. When your shoe touches down on the carpet of green instead of the hard concrete, it feels like another bit of weight off your shoulders.

“Watch your step,” he warns, instinctively taking your hand as he points out a few tripping hazards hidden in the dirt. You try to ignore how the action makes your cheeks feel warm and focus on not sending you both tumbling to the floor.

When you cross over the plastic dividers setting the playground apart from the rest of the park, Steve directs you both to the rusty swing set facing the parking lot. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s still holding your hand and you’re not about to let go. Not when you can’t remember the last time someone has just held you because they wanted to.

The breeze through the trees beyond the playground is so peaceful at night, so serene. He drops your hand when you reach the swings, large hand wrapping around one of the chains as he sits down on the plastic dip.

“Don’t fall off,” he says, a teasing grin on his face as he waves you toward the swing next to him. You roll your eyes and mutter something that was probably super witty in response but still make a genuine effort not to fall backwards as you settle into the firm plastic seat.

The only sound is the wind rustling leaves and the slightly creak of the chains over your head as you both look out over the parking lot beyond. The moon is just short of full and every once in a while you catch a tail light peeking through the cars. Neither of you make a sound for a while as you both swing lightly back and forth.

"You're pretty mysterious, y'know that?" Steve says after a long pause.

Your head whips toward him, feeling and looking confused. "Who? Me?"

He chuckles softly as he taps the side of his shoe against your calf. “Yes, you.” Unsure, you wait to see if he’ll continue. “I’ve always kinda been good with people. Let it get to my head for a while there, as you know. Got a couple knocks in the noggin’ that helped fix that.” He tries to laugh it off, but you don’t join him. After clearing his throat awkwardly, he continues. “People around here… It’s pretty easy to figure most of ‘em out. What they want and all that. Not that I’m saying they’re all simple or something,” he rushes to add, before tipping his head in your direction with a sideways smile. “Well, I guess some of them are.”

You crack a smile in return, looking down to where your shoe brushes through the dirt below as you move back and forth. “My point is, with enough time, you can get a pretty solid read on pretty much anyone.”

“I could see that,” you agree softly, “you seem like a pretty good judge of character.”

He snorts. "I wouldn't go that far." He studies you for a moment longer before looking back out over the cars. "Everytime I think I'm close to figuring you out, I find out something else about you that throws me for a loop." He doesn't sound frustrated as he explains, more fascinated. You try not to think about it too hard.

"Well, it's hard to solve a puzzle when you don't have all the pieces."

He sighs out through his nose. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Silence falls again. But it's not an uncomfortable silence; it's not awkward or tense. It just is. And coming to that realization kicks your nerves up again. You don’t realize you’re picking at your hands until Steve places a warm palm on top of yours.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks as he removes his hand, shifting slightly away so he can turn more towards you, holding the position of the swing with his feet in the dirt.

"You make me nervous sometimes." You admit without thinking. His eyes widen as he wraps both hands around the chains on either side of him.

"I make you nervous?" He says it like he doesn't believe it. When you just nod to reply, he questions further. "Why do I make you nervous?"

You start to rub the pads of your thumbs together, a way to self soothe without picking. "You're really easy to talk to."

His smile is warm and disabling. "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"

"It is! It's just…" How the hell can you explain this without sounding crazy? "I don't really like to talk about myself." His smile fades, expression falling serious and attentive. "It's hard for me, I guess. To open up. To trust people?" You break eye contact, looking back to the dirt for safety. "But with you, it's like I have to hold myself back from spilling my whole life story." It’s your turn to try to laugh it off, and it comes out strained.

"Why do you have to hold yourself back?" Your eyes close instinctively. Leave it to him to ask the most difficult question possible.

"It… scares me. To think about opening up like that. What it would mean, what it would do."

He hums thoughtfully, which leads you to open your eyes and look over. "Scares you to be vulnerable?" He asks, like he's trying to understand what you’re telling him. You just nod again, caught between wanting to look at him and wanting to look anywhere else. "Well, you never have to tell me anything. But, if you ever want to, I'm here."

You lock eyes again. It seems like he’s trying to tell you something with that look, something important. But maybe you’re just imagining things in the dark.

"Will you drive me home?" You ask carefully.

He nods without hesitation, standing and offering you his hand again. "Happy to."

The drive back to your apartment is quiet. The radio is playing some Top 40 station on low volume, the windows down to let the night air roll in. You have your forearm hanging out the window, waving your fingers through the air as you go. Feeling a bit more at peace than before. It’s too soon that you’re pulling into your complex and pulling into one of the empty spots next to your building. The moment your car door shuts behind you, one of the cats that live in the complex runs up to greet you.

"Hey buddy," Steve grins as he drops to one knee to greet the feline. The cat, who everyone in your complex calls Cal, immediately starts to rub back and forth along his shin. "Yeah, yeah I missed you too, Cal."

You look down on them with a soft smile. Try to avoid thinking about this being a permanent fixture in your life. Him taking you home and experiencing little moments like this with you.

"Come on Cal,” the cat immediately gives a chirp when he hears you, leaving Steve to scamper to your feet. “Let’s get you some food, huh?”

The cat immediately breaks into meows at the mention of food, taking off in a leisurely stroll toward the stairwell. He waits on the second stair, looking back at you like are you coming?

Steve walks with you up the stairs and over to your door, but remains outside as you open up a can of wet food and set it outside for Cal. You consider inviting him in. You want him to stay, want to be around him. But more than that, you want to sleep.

"Will you be safe driving home this late?" He glances over toward the nearly empty roads beyond.

"Yeah, I've done it loads of times." He tucks his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Will you be alright?"

You fight the cringe of remembering your episode from earlier. "Yeah, I'll be alright." You try to give him a reassuring smile. "Call me when you get home safe?"

"Can do." He agrees with a mock salute, leaning over to run his hand along Cal’s back one more time before turning to go.

You step past the door jam again, leaning on the door frame to watch as he slowly walks back toward the stairwell. "Goodnight Steve."

Cast in the warm overhead lighting of the outdoor hallway, his small smile makes your heart flip in your chest. "Goodnight Ace." He gives a half wave before shuffling down the steps with his hands in his pockets. You wait in the doorway until he's out of sight then glance down to see the food dish empty and Cal long gone. Picking it up and taking it inside to wash, you take your time getting ready for bed so you can be near the phone for when it rings.

When it does, you pick it up too quickly. You exchange quick greetings and Steve explains he got home safe and is calling just like you asked. His voice is deeper now, a bit more rumbly over the phone, as the exhaustion from the long week and the night of socializing starts to set in. Reluctant to keep him too long, you thank him again for driving you home and he repeats it’s no problem, he’d do it anytime. “I’ll see you on Sunday?” He asks, sounding hopeful.

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

You hang up and crawl into bed with a weary body but a settled soul.

-

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#steve harrington fluff #steve harrington hurt/comfort #steve harrington comfort #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfic #myos ideas #if you are seeing a trend in the one shots im writing no youre not <3 #steve harrington one shot #myo4harrington

[rehfan]

La Belle Dame avec Merci

Eddie Munson x Unpopular!AFAB!fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ readers only please - minor children DNI! – No Upsidedown; SLOW BURN; Eddie & Reader are both over 18; fake dating/relationship; reader is technically a virgin; mutual pining; Eddie has trust issues; emotional hurt/comfort; masturbation; emotional manipulation; reader is kinda shitty to Eddie; reader gets better; angst; more angst; Eddie’s mom is dead; small act of accidental physical violence; Uncle Wayne is the best

Tagged: @bluestuesday / @ali-r3n / @winchester-angel / @iletmytittiestitty-russ / <— let me know if you want to be added!!

DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER SITE. My words are mine and mine alone.

Inspired by @/hard-candy-writing ‘s ORIGINAL POST — I sincerely hope I do this justice.

1.8K words of Chapter 1 below (no smut yet - this is a SLOW BURN) — more chapters to come! AO3 link

Tumblr Masterlist Link

Eddie Munson was on your radar about as much as any other guy in school. That is to say, boys were people to avoid on the whole; whether because they were just cruel to you, or users trying to get you in bed, and therefore people to pointedly stay away from or - if it ever would happen - a dreamy-eyed boy were to come along and finally be kind, the fact remained the same: boys were an inconvenience at best, a source of torture at worst. Keeping your head down was the rule for every day. None of them wouldn’t have anything to do with you anyway, but some would actively jump out of the way in the halls all the while thinking themselves clever and funny by quoting Monty Python: “She’s a witch! A witch! She turned me into a newt! I got better…” An act somehow always followed by a cackle from their clique.

Of course, Eddie himself wasn’t one of these. He mainly kept out of your way, even though you shared a biology class together. You knew him enough to hand him a pen or pencil if he asked you for one in desperation, but otherwise, he kept to the theater club and his D&D group, Hellfire, and gave you a wide berth.

So it was a surprise to you when you received notice from the librarian that Eddie asked for a tutor in history. Ms. O’Donnell was a challenging teacher, no doubt, but you were one of her favorites and were currently in her AP History class. Eddie was in American 20th Century history and while it wasn’t your favorite part of history, you could still help him get by. You thanked the librarian and went looking for Eddie.

It didn’t take you long. The librarian simply pointed behind you. He was at one of the smaller tables in the middle of the space, doodling in a notebook. His leg was pumping a mile a minute and he looked bored. It must be his free period, you thought. You sat opposite him without asking and he looked up surprised.

“So when would you like to get started?” you asked, unpacking a datebook and pen from your purse.

“What?” He was genuinely thrown off guard, but soon regained his composure. This was some kind of trick. Had to be. He searched the room and discovered the table behind you was loaded with jocks and party kids. They weren’t looking at either you or him, but something still smelled off. He narrowed his eyes at you and waited.

“For your tutoring. 20th Century History? Ms. O’Donnell’s class? The thing you asked to be tutored in?” You clicked your pen. “When are you free?”

“What are you talking about?” he said, utterly confused. You had never spoken to him for any length of time before but there was something about the sound of his voice you found fascinating. The more he spoke, the more you wanted to hear. Even if it was him turning you down for your academic services. “I never asked to be tutored,” he said, insulted. “I’m not that stupid. I’ll make it through her class all on my own, sweetheart, m’kay?” He tilted his head and gave you a smart-ass grin.

“Well then why did the librarian give me your name? And why did she say that you wanted to be tutored?”

“I don’t know, princess,” he said, leaning forward, that grin still painted on his face. “Maybe she’s trying to set you up with the only guy in school who isn’t terrified of you.” This was not true. You did terrify him. Deeply. Your piercing eyes. Your pretty hair. Not to mention your rather distracting body. You were a fucking masterpiece and totally untouchable. The Impenetrable Ice Queen. The Queen who was now talking to him, the lowly bard. What was happening here? Doubling down on his declaration, Eddie leaned in even further and whispered: “I can be scary too, you know.”

Your spine stiffened. That was a shot across your bow you weren’t expecting. “I don’t understand. The librarian always keeps track of who the tutors are assigned to. If you didn’t put your name in for tutoring-“

Just then a group of kids behind you laughed. “Hey Munson! The Ice Queen? You getting desperate? Want to take your chances with the frigid bitch of Hawkins High?”

“Yeah man, hope you like cold fish!”

“And cold showers!”

You didn’t even want to turn around. From the look on Eddie’s face, you knew that it was the same group of people that hated him too - that is to say, almost anyone else in the school.

You closed your eyes and took a deep calming breath. “Jocks or preps?” you asked him.

“Looks like a mix of both,” he answered you and raised his middle finger at them all. Because fuck them, that’s why. He wanted to punch them all in the face. After all, they were also insulting you and face punching after someone insults a lady is expected, no? The knight errant in him was itching for battle.

“The freak found the geek!” one of them called.

“Shh! Quiet in the library or all of you can leave!” said the librarian. She stayed long enough to watch the big group behind you duck their heads and pretend to study their books. Satisfied that everything was over, she went into her office to answer the phone.

As soon as she was gone, it started back up again, just quieter.

“Hey Munson, be sure your dick doesn’t freeze and snap off inside her.”

“Don’t worry. She’ll probably cut it off as soon as he pulls it out of his pants.”

“And hey, Ice Queen, watch out Munson doesn’t have anything catching.”

“Yeah. God knows what that freak carries.”

”Probably what the green monkey had.”

“It’s so nice to know they care,” you muttered, your voice dripping with sarcasm. As you kept your gaze in Eddie’s direction, you saw his jaw clench and his eyes darken. You commended him for keeping his temper, if only barely.

In that moment, as Eddie was steaming and you were trying to let their words pass over you, you came to an important realization: you and Eddie were in the same boat socially. It was also then that you realized that Eddie might be the answer to your prayers. In fact, out of all the guys in Hawkins, out of every single male soul, he was likely to be the one person that you could co-conspire with - if he were up for it, that is.

And if you were honest, there was something fundamentally attractive about the metalhead. You enjoyed how he held court in the cafeteria from time to time. It took bold resolve to speak his truth to the entire school. And there was something about his eyes. The intensity behind them was magnetic. You didn’t need much more thought.

You leaned in, resting your elbows on the table. “How game are you?”

“Huh?” he said, snapping out of his murderous plotting.

You slowed your speech to match the speed of his brain: “How. Game. Are. You? Will you play along with me?”

He narrowed his eyes. He didn’t see where this was going, but it was better than being carted off to jail by Hopper on a battery charge. He was an adult in the eyes of the law, after all. He allowed his curiosity to override his anger. “A little improv, sweetheart? Heh. What do you have in mind?” He honestly didn’t know what to expect from you at this point, but he was seriously intrigued. The Ice Queen wanted to conspire with him. He was flattered.

“Just follow my lead,” you said, “and let’s blow all their tiny minds.”

Slowly you rose from your seat. Your skirt was long, almost to your ankles, but had a slit that ran to just above your left knee. You came around the table and lifted and parted the skirt, swinging your left leg clean over Eddie’s legs and settled yourself in his lap. Automatically, his hands were on your hips, sliding down to stop on your thighs, warm and firm. Eddie looked shocked for about three milliseconds, and it was a good thing he had recovered; if he were too shocked, you didn’t think it would sell the way you wanted it to.

Taking his face in your hands, you turned your head to place a gentle kiss to his cheek, another to his temple, and yet another to the side of his head near his ear. You were testing his waters. You could feel him tremble slightly, but he was holding fast. Good for him. “Follow my lead,” you whispered gently. Then you pressed a searing kiss to his lips.

Eddie’s brain shut off.

He responded to you much more respectfully than you expected; he kept his tongue to himself. In truth, he was still trying to recover from the shock of having you so close and pressed against him. All it would take would be you grinding your hips against his and he wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere without a book in front of his crotch.

The whispered “What the hell-?” from behind you was completely worth the risk of trusting the honor of Eddie Munson. The sound of the rest of them whispering to one another in amusement, fascination, and shock was also satisfying.

The kiss lasted a good thirty seconds or so when the bell rang and everyone gathered their things. You got up. As you gathered your datebook, you smiled at him. “See you in biology, lover.”

There was an extra swing in your hips as you left the library. You could feel Eddie’s stare and knew that his dumb grin was on his face.

You were wrong, however. Eddie was too in shock to react. Too overwhelmed by your energy just now. He stared in confused longing, swallowing hard, knowing he could never really have you and wondering desperately what he was supposed to do now that he knew what kissing you felt like. What having you in his lap felt like.

With that kiss, you knew that the Hawkins High rumor mill was going to spin so fast, it might set the school on fire. That much, you could have predicted. What you didn’t expect was how hot and bothered it had left you. The warmth of him you had expected. Even the plush feel of his lips was a foregone conclusion. But the feel of him - him beneath you and in front of you, his hands on you, his scent spinning around your brain. That was overwhelming. This was either the best idea you’ve ever had, or the worst. Unfortunately, only Eddie Munson could define that for you.

**************

CHAPTER 2 is now posted to AO3 and TUMBLR

#fanfic #writing #joseph quinn #joe quinn #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #fake relationship #la belle dame avec merci #lbdam #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #ao3 writer #slow burn

[nightshadow1607]

Immortal Izuku: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Shinsou: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Immortal Izuku: Death is a social construct.

--

Aizawa: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case.

Hizashi: Shou, that's a coma.

Aizawa: Sounds festive.

--

Vigilante Shinsou: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Informant Kaminari: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Vigilante Izuku: In that case, we're definitely lost.

--

Vigilante Izuku: I was arrested for being too cool.

Shinsou: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

--

Feral Izuku: Just because I'm too short to reach the lowest self in the cabinet doesn't mean you shouldn't watch out for your kneecaps.

--

Shinsou: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

--

Aizawa: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

--

Izuku, holding a python: I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Hizashi, in the verge of a heart attack: You did WHAT–

Shinsou: William Snakepeare

--

Izuku: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Aizawa: Oh, you’ve been?

Izuku: Once. In Monopoly.

--

Shinsou: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Aizawa: You're like 15 years old

Shinsou: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

--

*Izuku and Shinsou are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Vigilante Izuku: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Vigilante Shinsou, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

--

Izuku: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Bakugou: Deku, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

--

Kirishima: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Tokoyami: How am I supposed to know?

Kaminari: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Tokoyami: *sighs*

Tokoyami: You wouldn't be trapped.

--

Spinner: What do you think Dabi will do for a distraction?

Mr. Compress: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Mr. Compress: ... or they could do that.

--

Izuku: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Shinsou: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

--

Quirkless Izuku: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

--

Uraraka: What do you call a fish with no eye?

Iida, not looking up: Astyanax mexicanus

Uaraka: 

Uraraka: fsh

--

*Shinsou and Izuku sitting in jail together*

Vigilante Izuku: So who should we call?

Vigilante Shinsou: I’d call Aizawa, but I feel safer in jail

incorrect quotes because why not? (part 5)

#vigilante izuku #shinsou hitoshi #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #kaminari denki #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #tokoyami fumikage #spinner mha #mr compress #uraraka ochako #iida tenya #incorrect qoute bnha #dadzawa

[thcfountain]

Dating Noah includes:

afab asexual edition. MDNI.

Baking together!!! You and Noah have made huge messes of the kitchen, throwing flour at each other or feeding each other chocolate chips or cookie dough here and there.

His fingers, somehow, are covered in cookie dough and Noah waves them at you teasingly. "I'm a mess," he laughs.

"Yes you are," you reply, taking hold of his wrist and licking the chocolate chip dough off his fingers. "I love you anyway."

The two of you sitting down to have a conversation about sex together. He promises that it's not a big deal to him, it's not some make it or break thing he needs in the relationship.

If you're not sex avoidant, on very rare occasions, you'll do sexual things with him and he treats you with so much love and respect and constantly asks if you're okay and if you want to stop because he will never ask anything of you that you don't want.

Also if you're not sex avoidant, you've absolutely watched him masturbate.

You and Noah are huge fans of snuggling. Noah loves the feel of you sleeping on top of him, like a weighted blanket and you love how warm he is, like a personal space heater.

Noah, as a joke, gets you a body pillow with his face on it for you to sleep on when he's on tour.

He's not entirely sure how you managed it, but once, when visiting him while on tour, you managed to bring enough homemade cookies for the band and crew.

"TSA just let you through with this many cookies?" He asks, biting into an oatmeal raisin.

"Hallongrottor!" announces Jolly, cutting you off before you can even attempt an answer. He holds up the raspberry cookie, a Swedish recipe you had found online, as if it was a prize. "Hon är fantastisk och jag älskar henne!"

You aren't sure what he's saying but by the way he scurries off with several handfuls of cookies, you assume it's good.

You and Noah talking about the future and what it holds for you. He doesn't really want kids because he doesn't lead a life where he can be around enough for them and you're not interested in the sex aspect of having children or raising adopted children alone when he's on tour, so the unanimous decision is to become crazy cat ladies together.

You plan to go to the shelter together to look at cats for adoption but never get far enough because one day, the cat distribution system picks Noah.

You hear the cries of a kitten as he walks into the room and then a little, furry orange head, pokes out of Noah's jacket, where he had been cradling it against his chest.

"His name is Naruto," Noah tells you, handing the small little baby to you gently. He ran out of the bushes and scaled my leg."

The kitten cries for Noah as you hold him. "He must think you're his mommy," you tease, handing the baby back.

"I'm a mommy!" Noah announces, giving the baby kisses. "Oh," he says after a second. "He has fleas. I guess we need to take him to the vet."

Naruto quickly ends up with several brothers and sisters because the cat distribution system loves Noah. It picks you eventually though.

You're in the middle of facetiming Noah, when you hear a gravelly sounding meow outside the house. You take the phone with you, opening the front door.

"What's up?" Noah asked, not having heard the meow on his end of the call.

An old tom cat wanders over from the bushes, meows at you like he's got a smoker's voice, and then walks straight into the house.

"I think we just adopted a new son," you tell Noah, switching the camera onto the tom who has curled up on the couch for an immediate nap.

"MY SON!" shouts Noah excitedly from the other end of the call.

Taking tons of photos of Noah when he's home because every time he naps, he ends up with all the cats curled up on him.

One day the cat distribution system gets a little confused though.

"Don't be scared," Noah says before he's even walked in the door, which definitely spikes your anxiety. "But we have a new son."

He walks into the room with a python around his neck and draped across his shoulders. The serpent looks far too at ease on his new tree of a human being and you watch Noah scratch under his chin lovingly.

"Where the fuck did you find that?" You ask, half amazed and half worried.

"He fell out of a tree onto my head. I'm calling him Orochimaru."

Playing video games together!! You and Noah get snacks set out and play games against each other. Loser has to wash the dishes for a week.

if you play an instrument, Noah demands jam sessions with you. If it's an instrument he doesn't know how to play, he asks you to teach him how.

stealing Noah's hoodies and wearing them to sleep in when he's not around.

taking care of Noah when he's sick. He always demands extra, extra smoochies to help make him feel better.

when Noah's on tour, he demands to know everything that's going on in your life without him so you guys do calls so you can tell him all the hot goss.

"And then my coworker stole my lunch out of the fridge!" you tell him, concluding the work day's important events.

"No they did not!" gasps Noah, acting as if it's the worst thing he's ever heard. "Want me to come beat them up?" he jokes.

having the entire band over at the house occasionally and getting to watch Noah be silly with his friends.

You laugh, heart warming at the sight of Folio on Noah's back for a piggyback ride. Noah runs around the yard for a bit, he and Folio laughing as Jolly films. The laughter grows louder as everyone watches Noah slip, tumbling into the pool with Folio.

You sip on a soda as Nicholas tells you about his own cats at home, a story that's immediately interrupted by Noah running over and proceeding to play bongos on Nicholas' ass while giggling.

Nicholas looks down at Noah's hands and then up to Noah's eyes and laughs. "Brother, you have crack energy," he says in that light southern accent of his, earning a laugh from you and Noah both.

Noah absolutely buys a babysling so he can wear it and have the cats swaddled to his chest like babies when he's home.

date nights are always planned out in advance, you two take turns planning dates. From seeing moves together, to sensory museums, fancy dinners, petting zoos. Date night is always a lot of fun.

You guys definitely go to concerts together and Noah always makes sure you're super safe in the crowd. He would never let anything happen to you.

You're at the venue bar, paying for overpriced sodas when a strange man sidles up next to you. He won't take no for an answer and because Noah was in the bathroom, he takes your excuses of having a boyfriend to be lies. You feel scared - this stranger won't take no for an answer and he's in your personal space, hands all over you.

Until he's not. Noah had come out of almost nowhere, pushing the man back so hard that the stranger stumbled, almost falling over himself with the momentum.

"She said no," the growl in Noah's voice sends a shiver down your spine. You've never seen him so angry before.

His fists clench and you wonder if he's about to throw a punch - one you know will totally rock that man's shit with the muscles Noah is packing. The stranger gets the message in bright neon lights and vanishes. The moment he's gone, Noah pulls you into a hug.

"I'm sorry," he says gently. "Are you okay?"

Noah got serious cake and so sometimes you like to smack it. He always laughs but its obvious that you're the only one allowed to play with his booty cheeks.

You guys love makeout sessions. Hours spent just making out, usually until a roommate or friend jokingly complains.

getting piggyback rides from Noah or sitting on his shoulders to get a good view during outdoor concerts or when there's fireworks.

playing board games with Noah and the band and having to keep an eye on Noah and Jolly because they cheat.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian imagines

[nothankyoudear]

London book shop recommendations?

Summary: A.Z. Fell and Co. is recommended as a local London bookshop on a Reddit post. Chaos ensues when someone actually takes the recommendation and goes there, only to find that: 1. They don't get to buy books 2. The gentle bookshop owner apparently owns a giant python And 3. The bookshop owner is 100% in love with his best friend with the sunglasses OR Ineffable Husbands told through Reddit posts.

stupid little fic i wrote. thought it'd be funny to post on tumblr bc its formatted like reddit... social mediaception?

anyways, also on my ao3, nothankyoudear.

Enjoy!

r/books

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

London book shop recommendations?

Hi everyone! Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but I just moved to London and I'd like to support some of the more local book shops that are around here! Any good suggestions?

EDIT: Thank you for all the suggestions! I will definitely be checking them out :)

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buttscotchzzz · 2 yrs. ago Are you looking to actually take home the books?    

       SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago        yes... I think that's the purpose of bookshops?

             buttscotchzzz · 2 yrs. ago               Yes, obviously, sorry. I just live close to this book store called A.Z. Fell & Co, and it's the loveliest place. It's very cosy and the collection of books there is honestly unbelievable (I think  there are some texts dating back to the 16th century? Not sure why those are in a book shop instead of a museum). The owner is a lovely man too, but he refuses to sell his books. Not sure why.

              Yeah so, for looking around and sitting?? Fantastic place. Actually purchasing books?? Probably not so much.

                   SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago                     No apology needed, sorry if I came off too harsh :) Sounds wonderfully strange!! I'll make sure to check it out (even if I won't get to take any of the books back home lol)

---------------

r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

Strange soho bookshop that doesn't sell books?

Hello! I've recently been recommended this bookshop called "A.Z. Fell & Co" in Soho. It's quite nice but also... Kinda weird? Not sure how to describe it. So I know it might be quite niche, but I just wanted to know if anyone knows anything about it? 

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DollieDollie · 2 yrs. ago Lived in Soho all my life. The shop is kinda infamous with the locals because nobody knows what the hell is going on with it. Weird as hell opening and closing hours too.

       Miriiriram · 2 yrs. ago        I live in Covent Garden and I've also heard some stuff about the bookshop. Never been able to figure out how the man keeps his shop open in central Soho since there's no way he's turning a profit - It's been here for as long as I can remember though. 

             SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago              Huh, how weird. Well, the shop owner seems nice so I'll keep digging! 

---------------

r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

Update on strange soho bookshop that doesn't sell books

Hi everyone! Me again. Not sure if anyone is still keeping up, but I've had a few more trips to "A.Z. Fell & Co" and here are my experiences:

- I've had some people mention weird opening and closing hours, and from what I can tell that is 100% true. The sign at the front door almost melted my brain, but I've figured out the timings pretty good by now.

- The books kept there are very very strange. From what I can tell, most of them are published before the 1930s, and I swear I've seen some ancient texts around... I did find this one book with some pictures of earth and space though, so that's pretty cool.

- Nearly no one comes into the shop! Foot traffic outside is crazy, but every time I've been inside, I'm always the only one there. I understand that bookshops aren't the most interesting things around, but it's still a shop in the smack dab middle of Soho, so the pure emptiness of it is a little weird (take a shot every time I say weird or strange in this post lol)

- Mr Fell, the shop owner, is very very lovely!! There was this one time when I just sat and read for what must be hours, and he didn't even bat an eye - even offered me tea! We sat down, had a little chat about Jane Austen, and I could really tell that he is really passionate about his books - couldn't stop smiling and everything.

He did mumble something weird about Jane Austen being a spy, however, so still quite a weird fellow.

- Mr Fell still doesn't sell books. I asked him the first time I came into the store for some books and he said no, but I just assumed it was maybe because I didn't know him well enough? Anyways I asked him again and he just stared at me like I just asked to take his firstborn. So no luck on that yet.

- I think Mr Fell has a partner but I'm not quite sure about it. There's this man called Crowley that seems to be the only other person that comes into the bookshop, and he's got what is possibly the coolest sense of fashion in the world - I'm talking full two-piece suit, sunglasses on indoors, and bright red hair. Not ginger hair, RED hair. 

Mr Fell calls Crowley "My dear" and Crowley calls him "Angel". They act like an old married couple, bickering and everything, but I really don't wanna assume so... 

That's pretty much all I can think of off the top of my head, I think. I'll keep you guys updated (if anyone is still reading lol) if I find something new!

PS. unrelated but there's this coffee shop that's really nice - "Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death", just across the street from the bookshop. Really good coffee if anyone is looking for a drink!

EDIT: Okay well, this post blew up more than I expected. Good to see that other people are also strangely obsessed with this little bookshop lol! Thanks for the awards and I'll definitely keep you guys updated!!!

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r/snakes

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 year ago

Does anyone know what this snake is?

Found this GIANT snake on the floor of a bookshop!!! Does anyone know the species or anything?? 

[Attachment: 1]

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SSssssBoys· 1 yr. agoOh my god that thing is huge! You found it on the floor of a BOOKSHOP?

       SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago        Yes!!! Crazy right?? I think it must've snuck in or smth because I'm a regular at the shop and I've never seen it before. Is it venomous????

             liveweire837· 1 yr. ago              Purely based on the size it has to be a ball python or an anaconda - Can't really tell from the photo quality. Neither are venomous but are still dangerous. Call animal control ASAP.

                   SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago                      Sorry for the quality - I was a little busy screaming lol. But the store owner just came out and told me that it's apparently his pet? I knew some people keep snakes for pets but I've never seen them in real life, so huge too! Anyways thank you for the advice! :D ---------------

r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 year ago

Update on "A.Z. Fell & Co"

Hello, I'm back with some more news! 

- First news: Mr Fell has given me his first name! I asked him what A. Z. stood for, and he thought for a while like he doesn't know his first name? Anyways his name is Azira, which I think is quite a cool name.

I tried looking him up on Google but nothing came up, so I tried asking him for his middle name and he got this weirdly panicked look on his face. I didn't push it further because he was turning a little red trying to think. 

- Mr Fell owns a giant snake. I think he's some sort of Python? Not quite sure about it yet. His name is Crawly (ha, like Crowley) and I found him on the floor one morning - gave me the fright of my life! Anyways, he's cute but he has this weirdly human look in his eyes sometimes. He also really likes curling himself next to or just on Mr Fell - didn't know snakes could be clingy lol. Sometimes I feel like I'm intruding on the two of them, which is kinda crazy because one of them is literally a snake.

- Crowley is still coming into the shop fairly often, and he's still just as intimidating as ever. He does, however, do this thing where he kinda melts when he talks to Mr Fell. Kinda hard to explain but you can really tell the difference in his body language. I can't see his eyes because of the sunglasses, but I swear they go soft and everything.

Maybe they're dating, maybe they're not. All I know is that when I ask Mr Fell about Crowley, he talks about him like how he talks about Jane Austen books.

- I've finally managed to lend (heavy focus on the word LEND) a book!! Returned in perfect condition :)

That's all I have for now! Will continue to update if anything else interesting comes up.

EDIT 1: Some people didn't believe in the whole snake shenanigan, which I completely understand (sounds ridiculous to myself too), but I've attached a picture of Crawly just as proof. You can see him curled up next to Mr Fell, which I still think is pretty cute.

[Attachment: 1]

EDIT 2: I've asked Mr Fell (in a very awkward conversation), and Crowley is in fact not his partner. I know people have been debating in the comments but Mr Fell says they're just best friends. Will investigate further on the matter.

EDIT 3: I've asked Mr Fell and Crowley if they mind me posting about them, and I am proud to say that I now have the official go ahead from the both of them to post updates. I've also made a subreddit since I feel bad spamming r/London with nothing but A.Z. Fell & Co content lol. I'll be posting future updates at r/AZFellAndCo :)

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PollyPirate · 1 yr. agoEveryone in agreement that there's definitely some HEAVY pining going on between Mr Fell and Crowley say aye

       WonderfulWorld· 1 yr. ago        aye

             cooliosoolio23 · 1 yr. ago              AYE

                  nothankyou845 · 1 yr. ago                   aye > 56 more replies

peanutbutternnut · 1 yr. ago a bookseller named azira w/ a fucking python sounds like a video game character. badass as hell

       SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago        He's actually kind of the opposite of badass - dresses like he just stepped out of the Victorian era. He's got a bowtie and everything! 

                peanutbutternnut · 1 yr. ago                  even MORE badass

                         Lilypadwfrog · 1 yr. ago                           wait so mr fell is dressed like a gentleman from the victorian era, and crowley is dressed like an 80s fashion icon??? literally the most blatant example of opposites attract i've ever seen. next thing i know you'll be telling me that they have contrasting colour palettes LMAO                                  SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago                                   You're not gonna believe this lol

HmmmmMMmM· 1 yr. ago "He talks about him like how he talks about Jane Austen books." BRO ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/Mimimeow 1 year ago

Has anyone actually visited A. Z. Fell & Co. ?

Basically just the title. I keep seeing posts about people trying to visit the store but always getting 'interrupted' by one thing or another. Has anyone actually managed to visit the place other than SadLittleJay?

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mirandapanda · 1 yr ago I was one of the people who got 'interrupted' on their way there. I found a little kitten on the side of the road and just couldn't leave her there, so I took her to the vet instead. Not too fussed about it though, since now it helped me meet the absolute love of my life, Luna.

[Link]

      Mimimeow OP · 1 yr ago       oh my god SHE'S SO CUTE 😭 Maybe I'll try visiting the bookshop so I can get a cat

      Edit: Holy fucking shit ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/AnthonyJC 9 months ago

Why do people think they're in love It's all people are talking about. Can someone explain this. 

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Sort By: Best MillieRockers96· 9 mo ago well i mean,,, mr fell talks about crowley like he talks about books (which i think r basically his life and soul), and from the last update we got crowley was literally giving mr fell houseplants in what i can only say is domestic hell. if u see some videos of them u can also see that they look at each other like the other one's the sun when the other not watching, so yeah we're pretty sure they're in love just INCREDIBLY oblivious

                Lilypadwfrog ·9 mo ago                 100% in love. also talking about the whole "he talks about crowley like he talks about books", its lowkey crazy how much mr fell talks about crowley. like that man NEVER stops i think. but honestly just give the pinned post a look and you'll get it. 

                           AnthonyJC OP· 9 mo ago                             Oh ---------------

r/AskReddit 

Posted by u/porlrlrlr 2 months ago What are some of the weirdest things that you've seen on reddit?

Very broad and basic question, but I'm bored and need temporary fulfilment

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yeahsolikeuhh · 2 mo ago A while back there was this bookshop that blew up because of a reddit post. Apparently the shop's been around for three hundred years or something, and apparently had shit like the first edition of the Great Gatsby and stuff trailing back to the 16th century or something - But that's not even the weird part.

People tried to visit the bookshop because of the popularity obviously, but every time they try, stuff just happens at random and it never happens. Everyone knows the bookshop is there, but no one except OP for that first reddit post has ever actually managed to get in. Sometimes they find a stray cat and get distracted, sometimes a giant storm just instantaneously starts, but literally ZERO people have gotten into that book shop except for OP.

The bookshop owner is called AZIRA (not fucking kidding), with a pet python (also not fucking kidding), who is also apparently dressed like he came out of the Victorian era (still not fucking kidding). Now I'm not saying he's a wizard, but I'm pretty damn sure he's a fucking wizard.

Also apparently he's also in love with his best friend and there's this huge pining thing happening the last time I checked, but I think OP stopped updating a while back so yeah. 

        Cauliflourpanfried· 2 mo ago         Holy shit I completely forgot about that. Genuinely the weirdest shit. Hope they finally got their shit sorted and at least kissed or smth tho. ---------------

r/IAmA

Posted by u/MrAziraFell 6 days ago

I am Azira Fell, the owner of A.Z. Fell & Co. A sk Me Anything!

Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing well. I am Azira Fell and I happen to own A.Z. Fell & Co. I've recently been informed of just how popular my bookshop has become, so here I am! Here is a picture of me, Crawly, and this sign I made for proof.

I'm still not very good at technology, so I truly do apologise for the slow responses. I will try my best :)

- AZF

Edit: Thank you for all your questions! As much as I'd love to just sit and chat with all of you, I still have the calls of thousands of wonderful books to tend to. I hope you all have a lovely day :)

- AZF

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monsteriaLoe· 6 days ago Are you aware of the weird phenomenon where, when someone tries to come to your shop, they always seem to get distracted or pulled away by another thing? And, being completely honest, were you involved in any of these? I understand the question sounds silly, but it's just so strange that I have to ask.

        MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago         Thank you for the question! And it's not silly at all. I actually was not aware of this until today! And if I had the ability to summon stray cats at will, my bookshop would already be overwhelmed with kittens.

        I suppose it must just simply be some sort of magic, or maybe even a miracle ;) - AZF

PollyPirate · 6 days ago Are you and Crowley finally together???? (feel free to not answer if it really is too personal or anything like that)

        MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago         Hello, Polly! Thank you for being so considerate. In short, yes we are together now. Now looking back on it, I suppose it was a little silly that we waited that long to be together. Well, that's all over now, and Crowley and I are as happy as ever - AZF

              PollyPirate· 6 days ago              OMG

                     JooolyRancher· 6 days ago                      Congratulations! What made you guys take the last step, if I may ask?

                                MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago                                 Well, it's actually quite funny since apparently Crowley had found the subreddit (I believe that is what it's called) that Jay had made while looking for the bookshop on the Internet, saw the posts that all of you made about us being obliviously in love with the other, and finally decided to tell me how he truly felt. So, if I have to be honest, it was all of you that helped us take the last step, and I am very grateful for that :) - AZF

                                        cooliosoolio23· 6 days ago                                        ok well now im crying

wormieboyyyyyy · 6 days ago Why don't you sell your books? Also do you have a favourite? (a favourite book I mean)         MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago         Well those two questions actually are quite interlinked, if I do say so myself. My answer to the first is because I simply love them all too much, and can't bear to part with them. My answer to the second is also I simply love them all too much, so I cannot pick just one. I do, however, especially adore the work of Terry Pratchett. - AZF

                wormieboyyyyyy · 6 days ago                 Ain't that the truth. Have you ever thought of selling a book, tho? Like ever? You do run a bookshop.

                        MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago                         Well.... I suppose I could sell just one. - AZF ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 day ago

Oh my god

MR FELL SOLD ME A BOOK!!!!!!! 

[Attachment: 1]

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#ineffable lovers #ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens crowley #good omens aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #good omens memes #good omens season 2 #good omens season two #ineffable husbands oneshot #reddit #good omens oneshot #oneshot #social media au #GO #go2 spoilers

[whoiseduardito]

THE BASTARD

pairing: joker! reader x Miguel O'hara trigger warn: graphic. reader is male presenting, and is referred as john doe. homophobia. setting: pre!across the spiderverse,

How does a son out of wedlock, 

a son of an affair, 

a bastard, ever live as a normal kid? 

Because, if we think of it, since childhood, there are people who hate them, who pray every night that a thunder bolt will strike them down, no matter what. That will do anything to make their life a ginormous rock as a punishment for being born, they have to roll to the top of the mountain.

 But-

What would a bastard do to take revenge on the cruel life they were harshly born into?

Now, that’s a real one. 

But here’s one; Miguel O’hara.

a groan, the sound dogs use to express discomfort, anxiety. 

“ugh, Lyla, prepare some coffee please.” the sound of water automatically being poured and being boiled was heard through the kitchen. “lyla can you lightly open the blinds?” he spoke up again, interrupting the atmosphere “‘s too dark in here” the blinds opened quickly, bathing the room with sunlight.

“you have 1 message. from the public eye .” lyla appeared next to Miguel’s groggy form, his steps pattering against the cold floor, there was a bell sound and he grabbed his cup with ‘automatic coffee’ in his mug, one with ‘World’s greatest brain’, he nodded at the hologram and took a sip.

If we’re honest here, Miguel O’hara hated the public eye, they were basically hunting him. each time Spiderman was there to save the day, the public eye was there to have his head on a stick. he groaned loudly, rolling his eyes at the thought 

“....could you read it to me?”  a buzzing noise was heard in return “citizens of nueva york, there is a new threat” threat? “but remain calm. it is advised to stay inside of your homes, we’ll be sending more information through most media, i repeat it’s advised to stay inside during night.” 

“what threat could it be?” he muttered to himself, he then took another sip “lyla, what is this…threat?” some holographic screens appeared in front of him, displaying some files of the public eye. 

“it seems that they have found a serial killer, miguel.” 

He hummed, acknowledging the news, taking another sip of coffee. 

“Do they have any modus operandi?” 

“It’s too early to say, but I’ll get more information.” 

“Thank you Lyla” 

He placed his coffee on the sink, and retreated back to his room, to get changed. he admired his own body on the mirror, his horrible teeth, he didn’t even like them as a kid, before he turned into this. He looked straight into his eyes, his blood red eyes, it was actually haunting, he could see himself many times and just see that.  

As he put on his pants, there was a bell sound on his holocel, a message from alchemax, they needed him quickly there.

[O’hara, the public eye is here.] it read [they need to talk to you, right. now.]

His head cocked to the side while reading the message, he pulled on a shirt, and left for his office.

After quickly making his way to his office, there seemed to be many people harassing him with their eyes, as if he had done something wrong. He barged into his office, only tk come face to face with the public eye.

“Mister O’hara.” 

“Sir, can I help you?.” 

“Actually, you can” Darryl King began “You’re a geneticist, am i right?” 

“yes”

“very well then” he paused for a second, standing up from miguel’s desk “did you know that dynastor darius, a type of butterfly, has a pupa that looks like a python?” 

“...how can i help?”

there was a pregnant pause 

“...i believe you are a dynastor darius, miguel, can i call you that?” his heavy, clacky steps echoed through the room, miguel didn’t respond, just glaring holes into the man in front of him. “i believe that you are a python, who’s actually a butterfly, miguel.” 

“i believe you are weak.” 

“you know, we’ve had our eyes on you, after a tragic death.” the man stopped smiling “Gabriel O’hara’s death, Conchata O’hara’s death.” Miguel’s eyes widened

“What are you trying to say?” he sneered 

“that you had something to do with the dea-” before he could finish the word, he was already on the ground, MIguel O’hara on top of him, hitting him.

the color red filled his senses, completely enveloping him, his mind, fists, his office, wait.. his office? boots stamped against the floor, overwhelming his senses, and the second he looked behind-

clack! black out cold. 

why were they here again? 

“wake up” 

“wake up!”

“WAKE UP!” 

he opened his eyes and on reflex tried to stand up, he jolted, he looked down, he was bound to himself, he tried moving, he was shaken. 

“wake up” 

he growled and tried to scream, but his words were muffled against the mask.

“shut it, o’hara, stay still” 

Miguel was seething, he was confused, he was bound to himself. he looked around a white hallway with cells, everything sterile, everything clean and pristine. something was wrong, something was awfully wrong. he tried to look into the cells, in each one there was… wait-

there were people in them. 

everything suddenly clicked, the dulled out people, the smell of chloride burning in his nose, and the straightjacket.

he was in a fucking psych ward, a fucking ashylum. 

he began jolting, he began fighting against the restraints, he even had a muzzle, miguel tried speaking, he tried biting when the guards began holding him down, screamed, he began scrambling, until he received a blow on his head, he received even more than he could count until he heard a voice, and footsteps running down the hall, something along the lines of ‘stop!’ and ‘hold him down!’ he felt as they grabbed his head and pulled it away, showing his neck, until he felt a prick on his neck. 

“easy- easy..”  slowly, he felt his head drop, until his eyes were the only thing he could move, and he saw the shoes of his ‘savior’ 

he had black shoes…

with fucking butterfly socks.

with stupid shiny colors and with 

“fucking butterflies…”  

“take him to my office.” 

“on it.” 

“why is he here?” 

“he attacked Darryll King, we just wanted for him to help us with the killer”

"....tell darryll, i'll be on o'hara's case".

DON'T COPY MY FUCKING WORK

#atsv x reader #across the spiderverse #batman #dc joker #miguel x reader #miguel o hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #spiderman x reader

[genderlessghoul]

Inspired by the recent puppy post from Motley Zoo and my undying love for animals, here's what I think each of the ghouls/ghoulettes would keep as a pet :

Phantom : He saw someone walking their dog his first week topside and made it his life mission to get one. After a lot of research and internal debate, he ended up adopting a pitbull/labrador mix from a local shelter. Her name is Petunia and she's the definition of sweet baby angel.

Mountain : He decided to fully commit to the farm boy aesthetic and he got himself some quails. They have their own coop and fenced little garden. They used to be have free range on the entire gardens but they'd always end up eating his vegetables. They look like tiny little chicks when he's holding them. He lets the other ghouls choose their name which unfortunately got him stuck with one called Cum. His favourite was affectionately named Nugget by Swiss.

Aether : Bunny. Tiny little miniature one too, all white except for a small black spot on its nose. It's free to roam around his room and Aether learned the hard way to hide any and all loose cables (more than once). He named it Dust. Because Dust Bunny. He swears it's funny.

Rain : AXOLOTL. She's albino and he named her Rose because of her pink little frill gills. He can understand her somehow, some weird water creature thing. She has a very simple brain tho and mostly screams at him for food. Dew and Swiss love to draw mustaches and hats on her tank with markers.

Dew : He has a black cat named Purrcifer. The cute little thing just started following him one day and Dew can't seem to get rid of him (not that he tried too hard). He says it's the Ministry's cat cuz he spends all day roaming around the ground and hunting mice, but the cat definitely sleeps in his bed every night.

Swiss : He swore he'd never get a pet, he's too unfocused to remember to take care of one properly. Until he accompanied Rain on a trip to the pet store and spotted a ball python. Love at first sight, just look at that puppy face. He spent weeks doing research and was pleased to learn that they only eat like once a week? Maybe every two weeks? That's perfect. He got a huuuge female and named her Fluffy. Fluffy is his pride and joy.

Aurora : Ferret. She wanted a cat at first but she discovered that they came in noodle format and was like !!!YES!!! She taught him fetch. They play with paper balls. He's stolen other ghouls' snacks on multiple occasions.

Sunshine : She really wanted a chameleon but she saw how high maintenance the suckers are and settled for a crested gecko. It doesn't officially have a name because it wouldn't recognize it anyway. Definition of no thought, head empty. Most times, she calls it NO STOP DON'T JUMP THERE. She loves it so fuckin much.

Cumulus : She has the cutest blue budgie. She taught it so many tunes that they sing together all day long. It loves nothing more than to hang on her shoulder all day and watch her do her tasks. One of its many favourite sounds to imitate is the ringtone of whoever's in the room with them. No one knows how it learned to differentiate them all.

Cirrus : She set up a pretty little saltwater tank in her room. It's home to two clownfish and their anemone. They're called Led Zeppelin and Metallica, no she will not take criticism on the name. The tank is very beautifully decorated and everyone keeps bugging her to put up a big one in the common room, which she always refuses cuz she doesn't trust any of them with salt water.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #nameless ghoul #nameless ghouls #swiss ghost #swiss ghoul #dewdrop ghost #phantom ghoul #rain ghost #mountain ghoul #aether ghoul #cirrus ghost #cumulus ghost #aurora ghoulette #sunshine ghoulette #ghost headcanons #nameless ghoul headcanons

[notinthislife50]

Chapter 5

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Face the Music

You heard the light knock on your door and off you went with Bucky trying everything in your power not to run away. He could sense your hesitation and reached out to touch your arm making you jump. He pulled back and all you could mutter was a sorry.

As you approached the meeting room you could hear all the talking and questions. That was when you did run out of courage. You felt your breath becoming rapid and then the room span before you. Next you knew, you were on a couch with Bucky and Steve beside you and the avengers standing around the room. You tried to jump up but Bucky and Steve held you in place. “Y/n your fine, just lie down for a minute.” After a while “So sleeping beauty what’s all this about” Tony asked. The eye rolls around the room were loud. You sat up but as Steve and Bucky were about to protest you nodded that it was okay. “Well I’m a super solider” you laughed stretching out your arms trying to cover the tension with comedy. Knowing you were failing but not knowing what else to do.   The room was silent so you continued,  you started to pull at your lip. “But not only that. After the defeat of the flag samshers and Siberia , I maybe now be the only female super solider.” Avoiding eye contact with anyone you continued,  your hands now dropping to your lap you played with your fingers and continued   “it’s why John claimed me, so to speak. I now maybe the only female that may be able to carry a super solider baby without dying, and plus I can kick ass.” Your nervous nature trying to lighten the mood again  and plus your mind telling you not to let these people feel sorry for you. You couldn’t even look at Bucky or at Steve, what would they think of you now..nothing more then a breeding machine. You continued lowly. “I’m also” you paused “I'm also not just that” you wanted to say the words you had said to Bucky but now with these many eyes on you you knew you were just a coward. A pathetic excuse of a super solider. As the team waited for you to continue, no one made a sound not ass cracking Tony.

“It’s okay, I’m here” Bucky whispered beside you “I could tell them if you want?” As you reluctantly reached for his hand you were scared he would pull away because of what you did earlier,  scared he would pull away cause you were a freak. But he didn’t. Instead he squeezed your hand back. “I have words” which was all you could manage. After a few seconds Tony spoke “Well done y/n but we all have words what words do you have. Is it words like, you can’t handle the truth or it’d just a flesh wound. We are going to need more princess” Before anyone could tear Tony a new one you had burst out laughing. Tears streaming down your face laughing. Everyone looked a bit concerned. “Never has anyone quoted Monty python to me. " As you controlled your breathing. “But no, more like winter solider words.” With that you heard a few gasps and a few people stepped back. And then you knew it was time for the real truth. You looked at Bucky and said “once I say this I will not be able to look anyone in the eye, not even you. I want to leave as soon as possible. Please tell me no one will stop me.” Bucky looked at you saying your name but you stopped him. “James I won’t say another word until I know I can go back to my room.” Bucky looked at Steve and they both nodded. “As soon as you say what you need you can leave.” “Alone” you frowned your eyebrow “Alone " they agreed.

you tried to even out your breathing,  then after one more deep breath you let it all out “As much as I was trained to fight, my words weren’t used to show my skills. They were more used for me to be submissive to John.” you stopped and tried to regain your composure “ He wanted an army of super solider babies and that’s what he had planned for me. And yes, I know I was with him for a long time I don’t want to go in to detail what happened and what didn’t. But finally when John finally thought I wasn’t a threat anymore and that I was  under his control he started to introduce me to his work colleagues. One of them being Coulson. He didn’t trust me at first but when he realised I wasn’t in this of my own free will, He recruited me so to speak. But me on some birth control and this is the part where I am going to leave.” you laughed awkwardly really needing to escape the room . “Wait” was a voice you heard, but whose, you didn’t care. “I’m going back to my room. You can do all the looks and comments behind my back as I have had enough of them to my face and no one will stop me walking out this door . " As you walked out you over heard a comment from Sam " but how do we know the words” You stopped in the door way and willed yourself to be confident you turned and looked face on at the team “only John knows these words,  he made sure of it once he claimed me and anyone else that knew he ended. So maybe Mr stark it may explain my nervousness and mistrust and hopefully you can understand it.” With that you walked back to your bedroom locked the door lying in your makeshift behind the door and broke down.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes / reader #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader #marvel y/n

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Today is World Snake Day (July 16th, 2023!) 🐍! To celebrate, what are some of your favorite facts and neat things about snakes that others may not be aware of?

Ooh, very cool! I haven't been able to be home much today, but I'm definitely going to set aside some time as soon as I can to hang out with and celebrate the snakes in my life to celebrate. :)

Now, onto some cool snake facts that I think will bring others some joy on this most important of holidays!

If you're on this blog, you probably already know how awesome and beautiful bush vipers are.

But have you ever seen baby bush vipers?

Now you have. You're welcome!

When baby snakes hatch out of their eggs, they have this special tooth at the front of their mouth called an egg tooth. It's used to slice open the shell. The egg tooth falls out soon after hatching, but for a while, baby snakes look like they have a cute little bucktooth.

Rattlesnakes add segments to their rattlers throughout their lives. When they're first born, they only have one segment, called the "button." They'll rattle their tails instintually right away, but they won't be able to make a sound until they've had their second shed and added another segment to their rattle!

The bandy-bandy is Australia's only black-and-white striped land snake, and it's such a beautiful and cool snake! They have a really cool defensive behavior: they'll throw up one or two sections of their body to freak out predators!

Most pythons have heat pits on their lips. The two exceptions are the woma and black-headed python. Herpetologists call them the "pitless wonders!"

Hey. Don't be sad. Grand canyon pink rattlesnake <3

#not a rating #snake facts

[sketchfanda]

Kirishima's Mystique: Weapon XXX-23

Canada, the great white north, a vast wide little land consisting of regions such as Toronto, Ottawa and Quebec. Currently within the serene wildness of the Canadian rockies, our resident Red Riot and his cotton candy link Alien Queen were having themselves a little camping trip. Nothing said summer fan like gong hiking around a different country as the sturdy and acidic pair were busy setting up shop. Mina busy prepping the picnic spot and gathering up some kindling for a campfire, that is when she wasn’t busy stealing some glances at her man.

Sensually biting her lip as his tanktop did a grand job showing off that pair of gun shows he called his arms. If there was a vet around,she’d have to call about some “sick pythons”, that was for sure, his biceps and biceps pumped and flexed from all that effort and goddamn was it making her thirsty as all fuck. Rubbing her thighs together as she tried to keep her dirty thoughts at bay, at least until they'd finished setting up camp. Pouting adorably as she thought of how lonely she and Kirishima felt without the third wheel of their tricycle.

Mina:"It's still such a bummer Maya couldn't join us on this trip. I mean granted not often she gets to visit home..."*The cotton candy bombshell quipped as she was still feeling a bit incomplete without their shared girlfriend. Maya of course was indeed spending a week or two in her home of Jagua del Toro which did remind Mina of one thing. They definitely had to go their for sure, she just knew that place wasn't just famous for its beaches, but especially the babes. The kind of babes she and Maya knew would get their Riot all nice and riled up....*

Kirishima:"Ah it is what it is, sometimes but hey next time around we might go with her there, right?"*The sturdy hero quipped in response as he continued nearing completion of the tent. Missing the erotic leer Mina shot his way as she began making her way towards him, lust glowing in her golden racoon eyes. Who could blame her when her man was looking so delicious and fuckable, those firm muscles of his in motion as he worked away on setting up their camp. She had to think it wasn't all bad given she and Kirishima could fuck as much as they wanted, loud as they wanted without anyone to bother them but the critters of nature.*

Any further personal musings of thought or conversation dirty or otherwise when they heard some very loud sounds incoming from nearby their way. Sounds of a very telltale nature that implied combat and conflict of a struggle that was very intense. Being of heroic personality of course the red and pink duo knew they had to intervene and go see what the situation was and just their luck that had to be quite a doozy. Upon investigation of course that wound up being proven to be quite the understatement.

But of course how often were you to likely run into some petite but well toned feisty but fierce girl clad in leather swinging pair of duel bladed claws in her hands like a wild animal. Small wonder she was fighting of course given she was going up against a group of misfits from the infamous Brotherhood, one of the most notorious quirk supremacist gangs around. Suffice to say that what was followed was an intense battle to say the least but numbers weren’t a problem when You had a duo like Pinky and Red Riot backing you up. Oh come on, you really think I’m gonna go into details about how the battle went?

Yeah I thought so, we all know what you’re all really here for so let’s get this show on the road, shall we? After the ragtag renegade band of villains were rounded up followed by some questions and statements with local law enforcement, the red and pink duo were soo back in their camp now with the added company of their new friend they'd saved. A young girl by the name of X-23, or Laura as she found most preferred to call her and to say her lifestory was complex and tragic was an understatement. But she wasn't one to dwell on the past, least compared to how she was then compared to now though it could be hard to tell with how calm, composed and stoic she was.

But she proved to be willing to try and socialise and it helped that Kirishima and Mina had a natural friendliness and affability about them that made them easy to like. Laura certainly had to say mina's peppy motor mouth and spunkiness rather reminded her of Jubilee in a way as the trio enjoyed some small talk and a little bit of the natural tranquillity and serenity of nature of course. Soon of course dusk began to make itself known as the Canadian wilderness became bathed in the fading light and shade of the setting sun as the trio enjoyed a little peace and quiet and making some s'mores around the campfire before Kirishima and Mina decided to call it a night but not before offering to set up a spare tent for Laura to enjoy some privacy as well as peace and quiet. Leaving her be to enjoy the campire while it lasted as they ducked into their own tent a few feet away.

Laura of course wasn't clueless or naive as she seemed to the duo and what they were really up to at this very moment. Her enhanced senses could pick up the sounds and scents of what was going on so close yet so far from her in their tent. The slapping of skin on skin, the clapping of asscheeks as Mina struggled to keep her volume down against the relentless assault of pleasure coming from her boyfriend as he danced the oldest dance known to men and woman with her sexy pink self. It was, quite frankly, intoxicating for the young woman as she felt leather clad thighs becoming soaked with sticky nectar flowing from her quivering pussy.

Oh she certainly appreciated their civility and politeness in not wanting to disturb or offend her with their passion and desire but if anything it made her curios. Despite how cool, calm and stoic she seemed, internally was a different story as she felt that innate primal beast within her stirring. The beast within that desired to mate and breed, sensing the presence of a strong, worthy alpha male, an instinct she felt the moment she'd laid eyes on Kirishima and his feats of strength and power from when he and Mina had helped her out earlier today. Hence she saw no lack of logic in her next set of moves to make as she got up from her seat by the weakening campfire and made her way over the lovers' tent.

The closer she got, the more intense the sounds and scents of their erotic mating hit her senses turning her on something fierce, a glowing red blush on her face as she silently panted with husky desire, eyes glowing with rising lust as she approached the tent. Kneeling down as she stealthily, slowly unzipped the entry way and peeked inside to find quite the delightful show happening before her. The sight of Mina mounted atop her chivalrous Himbo cowgirl style as she bounced her bubbly cotton candy pink booty on that shaft of his. Which she could gleam had to have quite the length and girth on it if the rising bump in Mina's stomach was anything to go by, the alien queen sensually biting her lip, perky pink titties bouncing as she caressed her man's washboard abs while he held her hips firmly.

Eijiro of course hadn't yet noticed their sudden voyeur but Mina's lust hazed golden eyes did, sending her a secret sensual smile Laura's way. The goth-like Wolverine clone knowing enough body language to know Mina wasn't just asking if she was enjoying this show but inviting her to join. After all why watch when it'd be better to share the fun together? Laura of course got the hint easily enough as to Mina’s delight, she began to strip down until she was naked as the day she was born.

Kirishima of course was none the wiser until he suddenly found his view of Mina bouncing on his Lil’ Riot suddenly obscured by Laura straddling his face as she sat and parked her toned perky ass atop it. Grinding and rubbing her slit before she let out soft gasps and moans as she felt his tongue respond to lick and lap away at her flowing nectar. Mina's sensual smile widening as she continued to bounce away on her lover's cock, leaning forward to press her lip's to their new sex friend's own. Tongues dancing together in their growing bond of intimacy as the girl most knew as X-23 expressed her gratitude in a way that felt fun and natural for her.

The campfire had long since gone out but the fires of passion in this threesome only continued to burn bright well long into the night as moans and the primal rhythm of skin on skin filled the wild Canadian air. The tent a tangle of limbs shifting and dancing through a variety of positions and combinations of 2 on one to one on one as one third of the kinky group would catch their breaths. Laura or Mina eating one another out as the hard-headed redhead pounded them doggy style or in missionary to Mina fingering herself with erotic delight as she looked on at the female Wolverine getting it deep and hard in a mating press. Laura was clearly no virgin by any stretch but hotdamn if it wasn't clear she hadn't been with someone on the level that Kirishima and his Alien Queen were at, and this was without their resident blue shapeshifting bombshell girlfriend!!

Naturally Mina was making plans to send Maya the details of this illicit little encounter with their lovely new friend, that is once they woke up in the morning of course. Right at the moment was about feeling as good as they possibly can, as Laura herself now watched on as she recovered her stamina. Probing her pussy with her fingers as she looked on at Mina getting it deep and hard while that flexible bubblegum pink bombshell body of hers was held by Kirishima in a full nelson as he knelt on the tent ground. Grunting and groaning as Mina was rocked with orgasms which only skyrocketed as she soon found Laura licking away at their conjoined loins, lust glowing in those cool eyes of hers. Which the horned girl of course found so damn hot....

By the time this little threesome had finally finished, dawn was kicking in as it bathed the wilderness in the radiant glow of sunrise's light. The tent warmly glowing adding to the afterglow shared by the 3 as Laura laid draped atop Kirishima while Mina spooned and hugged her boyfriend's side. Their bodies glistening with sweat and spent juices as Laura held a soft, rare little smile on her face, thinking to herself she needed more than just the one night. Reminding herself that she had come out looking to find herself spiritually and now she was thinking maybe she might be able to do that if she transferred to Japan, especially once she learned which campus Kirishima and Mina went to.

Not long after this unexpected acquaintanceship encounter in Canada, Laura's well known, imfamous father had his clone daughtered texting with enquiries about arranging a transfer or entry into an exchange program for hero schools in Japan. While Maya found herself getting a delightful surprise in the form of a few texts and videos, especially of the sexy variety from her fave Pinky and definitely liking what she saw. Reminding herself she should definitely get a few of her gal pals in Jagua to come meet her girlfriend and especially their boyfriend and ooh some gals in Japan should definitelt come to her little home paradise. The beaches were hot but the dudes and bitches were hotter!!

Sometimes it wasn't easy being a student for a hero school, especially when yours was the generation that had to deal with quirk erasing yakuza bosses, a quirk hoarder with a demon god complex and a nihilistic hand-freak among other things. But other times it made for quite the love life when you found romance especially when going camping somewhere like in some woods in Canada made you get lucky. Yeah a mouthful I know but hey, you know what they say. How sweet it is....

#sketchfan #sketchfanda #sketchfan85 #x23 #laura x23 #laura kinney #xmen #x 23 #x men comics #x men evolution #kirimina #eijiro kirishima #eijirou kirishima #kiriashi #kirishima #kirishima eijirou #kirishima smut #kirishima eijiro #mha kirishima #mina ashido #kirishima x ashido #mha ashido #bnha ashido #ashido mina #ashido #maya diva #maya divato #jagua tales #darkereve #darwin núñez

[oh-hell-help-me]

*Talking to advisor off camera* [Are you sure this is how we do shout-outs here? Okay...]

HELLLOO TUMBLR! I have been binge-watching animal documentaries since *looks at script* March 28th of this year! It has been a BLAST, especially as I realize there are things about reptiles I haven't realized are incredibly cool and endearing!

Before getting into the deets, I do dedicate this post to @leavemebetosleep, especially with this post fueling the second half of my binge (with Bowuigi focus, of course)!

With that out of the way, let's talk about Gharials and (Alligator) Snapping Turtles!

Now, Gharials? BEST FRIGGIN' PARENTING among the crocodilians -which is saying something, considering they are the shining exceptions among reptiles who take the time and energy to protect their young before, during, and after hatching! They are extremely protective and gentle, and have a great variety of vocalizations that impressively dip into water-churning infrasound and comically high chirps [think laser guns]!

They're funky-looking with their long jaws, which prevents them from carrying their young like normal, but they are unhindered from protecting their young nonetheless? And what's more? THEY HAVE YOUNG MALES PROTECT THE BABIES OF OTHER PARENTS! Usually, as a babysitter to flex their parental capabilities, BUT YOU CAN FEEL THE PROTECTIVE VIBES AS THEY LET THOSE BABIES RIDE. THEIR. BACKS! AND----ooof, they're Critically Endangered....

But you know what? I might be limited in information about them, BUT I HAVE NO LIMIT TO MY ADMIRATION FOR THEM!

And Snapping Turtles? They are one of my favorite turtles and are incredibly relevant to how I view Bowser! Aside from the turtle-based facts of them liking shell-brushing/scratching, they are capable of affection that is described as 'dog-like'. It doesn't help that I have knowledge of certain sites and vids that have shown these turtles from a perspective that has had me hooked on topics of conservation [including the aforementioned Gharials].

BUT, if you're here for the Bowuigi content, then picture this:

See Luigi making these comparisons, doing research in his free time and watching social habits to try to connect with his Koopa family. Watch as he tries and succeeds in doing gestures of affection that include calming shell-rubs, giving constant piggybacks when the kids feel vulnerable (physically or emotionally), or even noticing traits that fall WAY outside Turtle-Gator parameters (because of Dragon-Koopa aspects)!

Have Bowser give affection like an excited Golden Retriever, greeting Luigi on sight with tail wagging. Maybe have him be embarrassed by accidental Koopa-Bellowing that ends up rizzing Luigi anyway! Maybe have Luigi try to recuperate with his lightning powers (because electrical pulses can make infrasound)! Maybe have moments of experimenting with what sounds Luigi could make, and Bowser finding any fails to be adorable, and to be utterly smug when Luigi pulls it off and surprises Koopa Troopas with this new ability!

Have these two knuckleheads realize that they both like cuddling sessions filled with casual scritching from each other. Maybe have the Koopa Family just have random cuddle piles like Ball Pythons and bask in each other's presence!

Heck, you can go into Bearded Dragon territory and include nuzzling and casually losing teeth because they regenerate. Maybe have moments where the guards sleep standing up with impressive posture. And maybe have Luigi doing a lot of arm-waving for reasons.

#bowser #luigi #bowser jr. #koopalings #and weird but fitting characteristics #that I should mention #gharials #snapping turtles #and of course #bowuigi