#but just like being angry doesn't mean you're allowed to yell at your kids or slam doors or break things

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

growing up with a perpetually anxious primary caregiver is such a mindfuck. that shit will rewire your nervous system

#not a shitpost #i get that parenthood and modern life in general is extremely anxiety inducing #and that anxiety is a common mental health issue and anxiety disorders exist and do not disqualify you from being a loving parent #but i am begging you PLEASE do not project your anxiety onto your kids #especially younger kids #your job is to make your kids feel safe and secure. that is a primary requirement #that doesn't mean you can't be anxious! #but just like being angry doesn't mean you're allowed to yell at your kids or slam doors or break things #being anxious doesn't mean you are allowed to surround your kids with your own fear and stress or teach them to share your anxieties #your job is to be a comforting nurturing parental figure. that means projecting comfort and love #even when it is hard! even when you are tired or angry or scared! #which is a damn hard job! and you won't get it right all the time! #but dammit babes you gotta TRY #kids deserve to feel safe and comfortable in their daily lives #you CANNOT be teaching them to expect catastrophe lurking around every corner

[linkspooky]

"And we don't have the luxury of thinking of ourselves. We just got to save people. So start by saving me, Itadori!" This actually shows Megumi has somewhat of an agency as a sorcerer. Ater all he vowed to get stronger after Yuji's apparnet death. He doesn't think of giving up being a sorcerer to be a kid. Now, Megumi's rejecting Yuji's help, the very same thing Yuji did to him. Plus, refusing to even try to 'wake up' means the death of other characters (Gojo, Higurum probably more others soon) will be for nothing... because Megumi's being selfish by giving up in the eleventh hour. That's why the fans are all mad at him."

Hello, friend I thought I'd use your post as a jumping off point to continue our discussion. I'm not necessarily trying to argue with you, just further explain my point and why Gege made the story choices that he did.

So one of the reasons I chose Killua as my comparison to Megumi, besides the obvious inspiration Mgumi takes from Killua's arc, is that despite the fact that Killua has many of the same character flaws and setbacks as Megumi he's much more well-received in western fandom spaces.

Killua also has a pretty straightforward arc, he still has character flaws, he idolizes Gon way too much and that makes him incapable of calling out Gon's flaws, or getting Gon to listen to him in his worst moment during the Neferpitou fight where Gon gives up everything to destroy Pitou pointlessly. However, even in those moments where Killua is failing Killua is still portrayed incredibly sympathetically. The audience reaction when Killua is failing is vastly different to when Megumi fails. When Killua is at his lowest point in chapter 241, there's no "get back up loser" it's "awe Killua."

That's because again Killua's arc is so clearly telegraphed. When Killua is at his lowest point, you in the audience understand that he is there and why he can't get up instead of yelling at him in frustration. At his lowest point he's still presented as being selfless towards Gon and chiding himself for not being of use to Gon, he's not giving up because he's too weak to keep going like Megumi is.

Killua on the whole is a lot more likable than Megumi too, but I think this stems from the fact that the narrative of Hunter x Hunter paints him in a better light, he has a mostly positive character arc where he learns to stand on his own two feet and forms a healthy relationship with both Gon and his sister - whereas Megumi has a negative / corruption arc which goes in the opposite direction of Killua's.

However, I would argue because Megumi is painted as more selfish, and allowed to be more unlikable that he is better written in Killua because there's an element of ambiguity that's not there in Killua's arc.

Megumi reaches his lowest point where he can't move similiar to Killua, but instead of spending his last moments thinking about how much he wanted to be of use to Gon, instead he's begging for death and drowning in his own self-pity not even looking up to see Yuji right there in front of him trying to save him.

You're right that he comes off as selfish, and a lot less likable to the audience and rightfully so. I feel like we're supposed to be frustrated at Megumi here for not seeing how much effort everyone is putting into saving him.

However, sometimes characters are unlikable on purpose!

Sometimes character writing and what a characters actions means for their story and themes is more important than whether or not the audience finds that character likable. Sometimes a writer might even have the character make an unpopular choice that the audience will disagree with, in order to make the audience angry and frustrated with them on purpose. After all, you yourself are saying you're worried about all of your other favorite characters getting harmed now that Megumi doesn't want to be saved - that creates tension in the scene. The scene is more complicated now and there's more at risk, because now things aren't as easy as Yuji reaching out and saving Megumi.

Gege is also using a tactic called delayed gratification here. Delayed or deferred gratification is the resistance to the temptation of immediate pleasure in the hope of obtaining a valuable and long-lasting reward in the long term.

Instant gratification would be Yuji's first attempt at reaching out to Megumi working, Megumi reaching out his hand, Sukuna being defeated, Megumi and Yuji hugging and everyone going home happy.

Of course, then the story would be over as well.

By delaying gratification and not giving the audience what they want right away, the effect when Megumi is finally saved, or in my opinion, what should happen when he decides to save himself will be even greater.

As I was trying to illustrate above Megumi's arc is in my opinion better than Killua's, because it doesn't follow a handy dandy roadmap on where Gege is going to go with his character. Things aren't as clear cut and there's an element of ambiguity. Ambiguity in this context meaning what the author wants, Megumi's thoughts and his wants / trauma, and where Megumi's arc is going are not as clear cut.

Gege cited Nasu's writing as a major inspiration on his because they skip explanations and instead let the audience try to explain things and put the pieces together for themselves.

I think when writing gets really good, we reach a point where "What's written is just as important as what's not written." That doesn't really make a lot of sense so let me explain it. Good writing does not spell out everything for the audience, but instead relies on audience inference to fill in the blanks, because then the reader becomes an active participant in writing the story and has to draw their own conlclusions instead of remaining a passive reader.

Megumi never thinks out loud that he didn't want to be a sorcerer and that he wanted to be a kid like Killua did, but there are things in story that implies Megumi thinks that way. The way he thinks he can never live up to Gojo's level or reach Gojo's heights. The way he doesn't even seem to want to. The way that personal connections like his connection to Yuji and Tsumiki is way more important to him then his duty as a sorcerer.

The way that Megumi doesn't ever seem to believe that he's as capable as being strong of as Gojo, and doesn't even seem to want to try either. This passive resistance Megumi shows to becoming what Gojo wants him to be, is basically the only way he ever grasps for agency.

Megumi is kind of like a really lazy smart kid, who never turns in his homework but manages to pass classes anyway because he's good at taking tests. He's so naturally talented that unlike characters like Yuji who are newcomers who have to give it their all - Megumi can just coast on being born with an extremely strong technique and not having to put the effort in for most of the story.

Megumi's choice to coast though is like I said - passive resistance. Megumi never says out loud that he doesn't want to be a sorcerer, but we can analyze from his behavior, his constant habit of half-assing things that maybe there's a reason he can't put his all into being a sorcerer. I mean someone on reddit put this entire collage together on how unmotivated Megumi is to put the work in to develop his talents.

The question is why in the manga where everyone is trying to be stronger, does Megumi keep half-assing things and not put his full effort in, why doesn't he seem to enjoy getting stronger the way say, Maki, and Yuji does. The answer isn't directly given to us, but all the way back in the third chapter Yaga says that sorcerers can't use other people as their reasons for being a sorcerer. It's an incredibly deadly and terrible job and if you don't know your own reason for why you want to be a sorcerer, you won't perform as well and you'll begin to doubt yourself.

Yet, here's Megumi doing that exact same thing that Yaga warned about. Megumi didn't become a sorcerer because he wanted to or for his own reasons. He was groomed into being a sorcerer by Gojo, his options were 1) starve, 2) go to the zen'in and be a sorcerer anyway and your sister will most likely be abused 3) be a sorcerer under Gojo but Gojo will leave your sister alone.

Megumi convinced himself that he wanted to become a sorcerer for Tsumiki's sake, that he was sacrificing himself so Tsumiki could at least continue to live a normal life but he's not even able to protect Tsumiki. When she becomes cursed, he's robbed of his entire reason for becoming a sorcerer under Gojo in the first place, but he has to just keep going on the vain hope that Tsumiki will wake up one day. Perhaps that's the reason that Megumi immediately grew so close to Yuji too, because Yuji reminded him of Tsumiki, but while he failed to save Tsumiki Yuji was still around and someone he could actively want to save.

Megumi doesn't want to be a sorcerer, but he has to be one and so in order to convince himself that he wants to do his job he tells himself he's doing it for the sake of Yuji, or Tsumiki. If he thinks that his sacrifice is somehow helping the people he loves either directly or indirectly then he can keep going.

That small amount of selfishness is the only agency he's able to reclaim for himself, that he's not sacrificing himself for the greater good or trying to save everyone like Yuji is, he's only trying to save a small group of people so he doesn't have to exert himself too much.

However, even that is basically just lipservice to being selfish, because in the end Megumi doesn't really benefit from his own actions. He does everything he does for other people. Even if it's for his own selfish reasons - to give him a motivation to keep going in this really shitty job of being a sorcerer he was forced into, even if he's using other people as an excuse to keep doing his job he's still not really a selfish person. He's not allowed to be selfish because he's not allowed to think for himself or make decisions for himself b/c he's been so thoroughly undermined by Gojo's grooming of him.

This is the paradox that is Megumi Fushiguro. He is presented to us as a very selfish character, especially in contrast to the all-loving hero Yuji, he's much more childish, prone to angst and failure and yet Megumi isn't really that selfish. Because true selfishness requires agency and the decision to decide for one's self and Megumi doesn't have that.

Sometimes, characters will make selfish and unlikable decisions in order to serve a greater story purpose even if the audience doesn't approve of them.

Megumi's character is better written than say Killua's, or even other characters in Jujutsu Kaisen because as a complex abuse victim he struggles internally with his issues, and growing past them instead of immediately getting back up on his feet to do the right thing. It's really easy to sympathize with Killua not wanting to be a murderer, because that's easy to understand. When Killua goes he wants to make friends not be an assassin the audience is immediately on his side. When Megumi doesn't want to be a sorcerer, a job that everyone else in the manga including characters like Yuji and Maki are fine with being and don't question whether or not they want to be sorcerers or get stronger then he looks selfish and weak-willed in comparison.

Megumi's internal struggles to form his own identity and grasp at agency are probably the most complex and best written character work because it's not immediately gratifying. Megumi's arc is not a straightforward arc, things have to get worse for him before they get better.

It's like in season 3 of avatar with Zuko. Zuko looked ready to change sides with team avatar at the end of season 2, but he regresses and sides with Azula instead when he thinks he's getting everything he wanted on a silver plate. It might seem more frustrating to not get what the audience wants, Zuko joining team avatar right away, but by delaying that immediate gratification the payoff for when Zuko does join team avatar is greater. Sometimes it's better to be less straightforward, because then characters feel like people with internal struggles and not pieces you are moving down a pre-determined path.

Let me compare Megumi to a character in story who's arc is pretty universally beloved, but I will argue is less complex than his. You could say for Megumi, well Maki's sister died and not only did she get over it she used that death to climb to even greater heights and she's now one of the most powerful characters in the manga.

This seems to be what readers want for Megumi, for him to get over Tsumiki's death and then live up to the potential that he's been foreshadowed to have. If the audience had their way, the same way that Maki was destined to become the next Toji, Megumi would step up right away after Tsumiki's death, become the next Gojo and become as powerful as Maki.

However, here's my question do we as readers really feel Maki's mourning for Mai? I mean if you were a fan of Mai you probably feel sad at her death because she was a character that you liked, but does the narrative ever take the space to have Maki struggle to come to terms with the loss of Mai?

No, because Maki pretty much immediately gets a power up afterwards. We don't really feel Maki's loss for Mai, because we get that immediate gratifaction. Maki never lays on the ground and wallows, she never gives up, in fact we get some pretty immediate catharsis too because Maki goes on to murder all of Mai's killers.

Mai's death doesn't seem like the tragic event that it is, because it's not played as a tragedy, but as Maki coming into her own power. There's nothing wrong with this I suppose, but it's less emotionally complex because we take no time for Maki to internally deal with the loss of Mai, to feel that loss. Tsumiki is way less of a character than Mai, but her death is an unequivocal tragedy because nothing good comes out of it, Megumi doesn't get to avenge Tsumiki's death, it's only a tragedy, it's only suffering.

If you're satisfied with Maki's arc that's fine, but like I said it's a lot like Killua's in that it's very clearly signposted where we are going. It's narratively convenient. Like, when Maki is at her lowest point, a sumo guy shows up out of nowhere to give the exact words to encourage her and lead her character to the conclusions she's supposed to draw.

Megumi and Maki are both victims of abuse but Megumi's allowed to be a lot more unlikable, he's allowed to stumble, to do things the audience wouldn't approve of. He's not shown to be more virtuous than his abusers, to rise up and get revenge against his abusers, he doesn't immediately free himself through the power of his hard work and determination alone.

In fact compared to Maki Megumi's kind of just a loser.

Yet, sometimes the road less traveled is the better one. Megumi doesn't follow the paint by numbers abused child overcomes their abuser and finds their own strength / freedom / agency arc and because of that he doesn't come off as a character with a character arc, but rather a child struggling to grow up properly in a world where he has no positive adult figures to help grow and nurture him. Just like a child Megumi has no idea how to be an adult, and unlike Maki there's no path to adulthood clearly laid out for him.

In fact when he does try to take steps or reclaim his agency for himself, someone usually appears either Gojo or Sukuna to rob him away of his agency and further sabotage him. Megumi's arc has a pretty clear pattern of one step forward, two steps back. Megumi bonds with Yuji, Yuji dies. Megumi promises to get stronger for Yuji after his death, Yujhi turns out to be alive and also he finds out that his decision to save Yuji after Yuji ate the finger led to fingers all around the world awakening more people dying. Megumi decides to keep this fact from Yuji to spare his feelings creating a wall between him and Yuji.

Megumi creates his domain for the first time, but then in Shibuya he's put into a corner by his father stabbing him and takes two steps back using Mahoraga as a suicide move again another curse user. When he does that too, he thinks about how he'll never be as strong as Gojo wants to be five seconds before calling Mahoraga.

Megumi comes out of the culling games with a plan to save Tsumiki, manages to defeat one sorcerer using his domain expansion and pushing his limits again like he did in the death painting arc, only for Tsumiki to turn out to be possessed and Sukuna to take his body.

One step forward, two steps back.

However, the complexity from Megumi's character comes from this fact, the fact he doesn't just walk down the path the audience wants him to, he doesn't simply do what Gojo laid out for him to make him the next Satoru Gojo. He doesn't find meaning or reason in being a sorcerer, he doesn't get stronger as a sorcerer because he doesn't want to be there.

There's no convenience there, no one pops up with an inspirational speech the moment that Megumi needs it to keep going instead it's the opposite the narrative keeps robbing Megumi of his agency agian and again, pulling the rug out from under him when it looks like he's gotten the strength to stand out on his own two feet and Megumi has to keep going. The narrative rewards Maki and gives her what she wants her arc is basically over, whereas it punishes and denies Megumi at every turn. Maki's arc isn't bad but it is basically already over and it's a lot simpler and more straightforward than Megumi's.

Megumi is also called on to do a lot more than Maki is, because Megumi's issues can't really be solved with a power-up. This quote "let fate toy with you before you die like a fool" is probably one of the most important quotes when speaking about Megumi, because Megumi really is the fool in the fool's journey.

The Fool's Journey is a metaphor for the journey through life. Each major arcana card stands for a stage on that journey - an experience that a person must incorporate to realize his wholeness. These 22 descriptions are based on the keywords for each major arcana card. The keywords are highlighted in the text. A card's number is in parentheses.

The Fool's Journey is different from the Hero's Journey, because the Hero's Journey is the standard narrative for how a character rises up to become a hero, whereas the fool's journey is how a person goes from being an innocent but empty child a fool, a zero, into being a whole, and well rounded person. In Tarot the Fool (0) is basically a newborn, with no identity, no opinions, an empty vessel.

We begin with the Fool (0), a card of beginnings. The Fool stands for each of us as we begin our journey of life. He is a fool because only a simple soul has the innocent faith to undertake such a journey with all its hazards and pain. At the start of his trip, the Fool is a newborn - fresh, open and spontaneous. The figure on Card 0 has his arms flung wide, and his head held high. He is ready to embrace whatever comes his way, but he is also oblivious to the cliff edge he is about to cross. The Fool is unaware of the hardships he will face as he ventures out to learn the lessons of the world. The Fool stands somewhat outside the rest of the major arcana. Zero is an unusual number. It rests in the exact middle of the number system - poised between the positive and negative. At birth, the Fool is set in the middle of his own individual universe. He is strangely empty (as is zero), but imbued with a desire to go forth and learn. This undertaking would seem to be folly, but is it?

Megumi is the most underdeveloped and childish character in the series. He is as people have constantly referred to him, immature and selfish. He doesn't see things for the greater good, because he's ego-centric like a child and can only see what's around him.

What Megumi needs to do is to become a whole person, to develop an entire identity on his own, that's not dependent on Yuji or Tsumiki. He needs to be able to stand on his own two feet.

Now, how does Megumi go about doing that while he's also asked to be a sorcerer, people who aren't allowed to be selfish, who are asked to be identity-less cogs who exorcise curses for the greater good.

Megumi's arc is a lot harder, and a lot more difficult because it's not resolved by him getting a power up. That wouldn't fix his central issue because the problem isn't that Megumi's weak, it's that he's weak willed and doesn't think for himself.

Megumi can't become the next Gojo or the next Toji, he has to become himself.

Yet, Megumi and the audience at large don't know exactly what that means yet. That ambiguity, will Megumi be able to save himself, how exactly will Megumi save himself if he's not taking the hands that Yuji offers him. How exactly will he find the will to live with Tsumiki gone, and with no reason besides himself to keep on moving? It's that ambiguity that makes his arc more compelling.

Also, if Megumi were to resolve his arc by just getting a power up that kind of just means that Gojo was right all along. Like I hate to borrow from Homestuck of all things but this quote heavily applies to megumi and the way he was raised by Gojo.

So in the context the character Dave was raised from childhood by his brother to go through some super ultra ninja training, where he was basically forced to spare with his brother with swords every single day and put through the ringer with training, and that training didn't make him stronger it just made him afraid to fight. Dave can't see himself as strong or as a hero, because he's number one constantly feeling inferior to his brother who has like destroyed his entire childhood and number two because he didn't have a childhood he has no solid basis to build his sense fo self around. There's no strong foundation for Dave because he was robbed of the childhood years that help us form our identity. He never formed an identity, the only thing he could do was try to passively resist what his brother wanted him to be. That's not really forming an identity though, that's saying "I don't want to be that." Dave in his arc is continually reluctant to be a hero, and to go through the steps of a straightforward hbero's journey, because he doesn't want to be like a hero, because his brother was a cool brave heroic hero and his brother abused him.

Dave's character shines in his reluctancy to be a hero, because if he just sucked up all of that abuse and then decided to be a hero anyway then wouldn't that just prove that his brother was right? That his brother was right to put him through all that abuse because look it made him stronger in the end.

Gojo took Megumi's childhood away from him with the intention of turning him into a stronger sorcerer, but it had the opposite effect. It didn't make him stronger or into another Gojo Satoru, it made him not want to become a sorcerer, it made him weak willed and made him cowardly and made him want to run away from danger and made him unable to believe himself to be strong enough to win.

Even Maki's arc doesn't ever suggest her abusers were right. If anything it's the opposite, Maki wanted to be a sorcerer, she would have willingly become one but her family sabotaged her at every chance and denied her the opportunity to become one - only to show that Maki was right all along that she had more potential than anyone else in the family and her family should have given her that chance. That if from the beginning the Zen'in accepted and raised Maki then the tragedy at the end of her arc could have been averted. The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel it's warmth... etc, etc.

So Maki's arc may be way more straightforward than Megumi's, but her arc doesn't suggest that her abusers were right to put her through what they did. However, Megumi just being told to suck up all his abuse and get stronger would be doing just that, because it would mean Gojo was right all along to do what he did, Gojo stealing Megumi's childhood would be right because look how much stronger it makes him.

However, Gojo's actions didn't make Megumi stronger, it made him the opposite, it made him never want to fight, or see blood, or be near danger. It made him passive and cowardly and selfish rather than active and brave and selfless.

Sometimes a writer may have a character make an unpopular choice in service of the story and themes.

You're not wrong friend for pointing out that Megumi comes off like a hypocrite for giving up, when he called Yuji selfish for giving up on his own before the beginning of the culling games. If anything it's worse, because Megumi has chosen to give up at the moment when everyone is basically making a group effort and risking their lives to help him instead of going for the more tactically solid strategy of killing Megumi alongsde Sukuna. Megumi is not respecting the feelings of those who wish to save him, nor is he thinking about how much the others are risking their lives just for the chance to save him.

However, this intentional parallel of Megumi being able to reach Yuji at his lowest point when he wants to give up, and Yuji not being able to reach Megumi illustrates the difference between their characters.

Yuji became a sorcerer by choice. His ideal of wanting to help people is something he chose for himself, and apparently according to Sukuna he believes down to his very bones which is why it's something he'll never waver from. Yuji is the outsider who became a sorcerer by choice, he wants to be in this world - even if it wasn't a total choice like he chose to eat the finger but he didn't think of the ramifications and afterwards his choice was like "die now, or die after eating 21 more fingers." Yuji still views it as his choice though.

Megumi on the other hand never had a choice. All of his justifications and reasons and "I selfishly choose who to save" those are all lipservice, ex posto factor justifications, lies Megumi tells himself to cope with the fact that this life as a sorcerer was forced upon him.

That's why Megumi doesn't have the unshakable determination to get back up at his lowest point that Yuji had, because Yuji at the end of the day is kind of like the embodiment of the ideal sorcerer the way Nanami is, he's decided to give his life to be a sorcerer and live up to what sorcerers should be so he can make the world a slightly better place and then pass the torch to the next sorcerer.

Yuji chose that for himself, and for better or worse he keeps making that choice over and over again. He's resolved to live and die as an ideal sorcerer, and carry on the burden that Nanami left for him.

If Yuji's arc is to figure out what kind of sorcerer he wants to be and then be that person to the very end, then Megumi's arc is the opposite. It's to find out who he is outside of being a sorcerer, because being a sorcerer wasn't his choice it was something that was imposed upon him. That's what Killua's arc is too, Killua's arc is not him learning to live up to his full potential as an assassin because that would once again validate his family's abuse of him. No Killua can't grow up into what his family wants him to be, he has to figure out for himself what he wants, and try to grow into that person.

However, Megumi has that added layer of difficulty in that Megumi doesn't get to use "I want to grow strong enough to protect my sister" as an answer the way Killua did. Megumi unlike Killua gets the crutch ripped out from underneath him. He's not allowed to live for Tsumiki anymore, because Tsumiki is gone.

Now Megumi has to find a way to keep living for himself without Tsumiki, and show that life is worth living even if you lose your loved ones or he sinks. Which as I said again is harder and more complex o Megumi because he doesn't get the simple answer "I want to grow strong to protect my sister" he's called to do more than that and stand entirely on his own.

Finally, Megumi not immediately taking Yuji's hand when it's offered to him adds complexity to the story in another way.

Again we are asking the question, is it possible to save someone who does not want to be saved? It's repeating the same conflict in the past between Gojo and Geto now with Yuji and Megumi. Can Yuji really do anything to save Megumi if Megumi himself has decided to give up and that he's beyond salvation. If Megumi does not want to be saved then what does Yuji's attemps to reach out his hand amount to?

One last thing is I think Yuji's attempts to save Megumi were always going to fail, because as it's already been stated above by Gojo you can't save those who aren't willing to be saved.

In broader story terms though, if Megumi's arc is about reclaiming his own agency then how is getting saved by Yuji a proper end to this arc? Megumi being rescued like a passive damsel is not giving his character any agency, if anything it's robbing him of agency because it's reducing him to a victim to be saved by Yuji.

This is why I bring up delayed gratification, because if Megumi was saved here then his arc would be over and it would also be brought to a pretty unsatisfying conclusion. There would be no real moment where he learned to stand up for himself, he didn't find the meaning in living past the death of his loved ones for himself someone.

Not only is Megumi not letting Yuji save him, but story-wise it's kind of impossible for Yuji to save him because what Megumi needs narratively to complete his arc isn't to be saved.

What Megumi needs is to save himself. So no matter what Yuji did, no matter what heroic speech he gave, no matter what lengtsh Yuji went to to free Megumi's soul for Sukuna it would not have worked anyway, because that's not what Megumi needs.

Megumi needs to become himself. Megumi needs to save himself.

The fact that Megumi doesn't want to be saved, that he doesn't want to keep living, is the struggle he's going to have to overcome in order to achieve these things in the end.

And it will be much more gratifying when he does save himself, because the manga didn't go the easy route and just have Yuji save Megumi.

#jjk meta #hxh meta #megumi fushiguro #killua zoldyck #itadori yuji #gojo satoru #sukuna ryomen

[akwolfgrl]

LFT PART 42

Smoker starred as the kid with the strawhat smiled, so easily accepting his death. He had seen hardened criminals sob and beg and plead for their lives before death. Did he smile because he knew he would be saved? No that couldn't be there was no way he would have known that lightning would strike at the right moment and spot. That could only mean that his life would come to an end and he had simply accepted it.

“Captain Smoker! Shouldn't we…”

“Hey…have you ever seen a pirate who smiled during his execution?” Smoker asked.

“S smile? I'm sure that even the most wicked pirate would turn pale and cower at the moment of his death,” he shrugged off with a chuckle.

“But that's what he did! The boy in the starwhat, Monkey D. Luffy, he smiled…” Just like Him, Smoker would never forget that day. “He smiled that same damn smile as the pirate king! Twenty-two years ago on that exact same spot!” Smoker was pissed off he couldn't believe that history is repeating itself! He headed out the door to stop the pirates from leaving. “Where did they run off two?” Smoker cared not for rain that stuck to his skin and clothes.

“They headed for the western harbor,” A fellow Marine, one his subordinates informed him, pointing in the right direction.

“One of our squads should be there by now,” Smoker spoke, knowing it was only a matter of time before they were stopped.

“Well, that's the thing,” The other marine started, Smoker turned to glare at him. “Ummm well the sudden rain has rendered their gunpowder useless. So they headed back to the station to resupply.”

“So the harbor is completely clear!?” Smoker yelled. He glanced up towards the sky, the rain hitting his face as he observed the storm clouds overhead. “The winds are blowing west…so if they were to set sail they would catch the tailwind.” What the hell kinda luck did this kid have?! “Is this all purely coincidence?! It's as if the heavens themselves want that boy to live!” Smoker wouldn't stand for this, she would have his head one way or another. “On the pride of a Captain of the Marines I Smoker the white hunter, vow to not allow that boy to escape this island!”

<>

“Jeez these guys are so persistent. Should we just stop and fight them off?” Luffy asked as they ran through the streets of that damn town.

“Don't, there will be no end to them. More importantly, Nami wants us to return to the ship as soon as possible. As possible. We don't want to risk the Merry being swept away without us, we may be strong but the marina has more man power and weapons. Not to mention the weird clown guy,” Sanji informed their captain.

“Curls has a point Luffy,“ Zoro hated to run from a fight but now was not the time. He hated to admit it but they might not make it out if they stop fighting.

“Ah! Who's that pretty lady waiting for us?” Sanji asked, Zoro turned towards where Sanji was looking.

“Roronoa Zoro!” There stood a very angry Tashigi, looking like she found out who he was. “To think you were Roronoa Zoro the whole time! A bounty hunter turned pirate! You were just toying with me the entire time!”

“Mosshead what fuck did you do to her!?” Sanji unhelpfully yelled at him. “Just because we went on a date doesn't mean I'll let you get away with hurting women! She's very clearly upset at what you did to her!”

“I will take back Wado Ichimonji and the other two while I'm at it!” She screamed at him. “I don't care if it belonged to your dojo master’s daughter, you're a disgrace! A criminal!”

“I'd like to see you try,” he sneered as his hold on Wado tightened, he was not appreciating what this Kunia-clone Tashigi chick was insinuating. Wado was not just a sword, it was a promise to his first friend and rival. In that breath, Tashigi clashed Shigure against Wado. Without turning his sights away from the swordswoman, Zoro tilted towards where he thought the pier was, “Go ahead Cap, Curls, I’ll catch up.”

“Ok,” Luffy grabbed Sanji's arm and dragged him away. This was one area in which they would never agree. Maybe one day they could discuss it but today was not that day.

After a brief clash of blades, Zoro had released hers’ far from her hands. She had potential but needed to work much harder and longer to reach his skill set. He had pines to the wall. He was close enough to see the rage and a bit of fear but resignation in her eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to cut her, call it whatever you wanted and he wouldn’t give a damn. He couldn’t cut down his dead best friend’s doppelganger.

“I can't hand this sword over to anyone ever! This is more than just a sword, it's a promise,” Zoro replaced his swords, softly backing away in the continuing rainfall. “I'll be on my way then.”

“Why didn't you cut me down!?” Tashgi screamed at him. Zoro stopped and looked back at her, her hair was sticking to her wet face. Her eyes filled with rage and contemptment. “Is it because I'm a woman?! Because I'm not worth your time!? Only to be pitied due to my gender!?” Zoro couldn't stop picturing Kuina and her fears on the same subject. “You're lucky to be a boy Zoro…” He didn't want to relive that night. “You dare to go easy on me?! I'm serious dude!!! Just because women aren't as physically strong as men?!” Tashigi continued on. “How shameful! Of course I shouldn't expect someone like you to ever understand what wishing to be born a man would feel like! To hate your gender for the sole reason that you're not taken seriously! I knew what I was doing when I chose this path dammit! I didn't pick up my sword for fun! I work so hard to improve myself just to be taken as a joke!”

“Don't, don't say that while wearing her face!” Kunia was haunting him from beyond her grave. “I can't cut you down. You look like her,” His hands shook violently, his hand taking Wados' hilt to try and ground himself. “I don't give a damn that you're a woman! What between your legs matters not to me! It's your face! Sprouting the same things as she did before her death! We promised each other and then she died on me! Stop copying her, just stop it!” Zoro couldn't shut up. Couldn't stop talking. “For fucks’ sake, stop haunting me!”

“Wha!? I've never heard anything so childish in my entire life! I've always loved being me and only me for my entire life! You don't get to put your issues on me! I'm not your dead friend so don't treat me like her! It's insulting to both of us!” Tashgi yelled at him.

“Shut up you don't know anything!” Shut up Zoro shut up! He needed to keep his mouth shut!

“Fight me properly, you damn crowded!”

#one piece #fanfic #lust filled thoughts #roronoa zoro #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #zoro x sanji #zoro #smoker #captain smoker #tashigi #zosan #loguetown

[miss-mollys-ballet-blog]

Middle School Classroom Management Tips

We all know that classroom management courses in teacher prep programs are worthless 99% of the time. These are some things I've learned in 7 years of teaching 8th grade that work for me.

The Teacher Look. My middle schoolers HATE it when you just hold direct eye contact silently. You don't need to look mean or angry, just slightly stern and hold eye contact. You don't say, "I'll wait" or anything, just look at them. You can change the look around as well, ranging from definitely more stern and strict to one of, "yeah you're being hilarious and amusing, but we have to stop now", to a "look at your choices please". One of my personal favorites is a slight rising of a single eyebrow, a tilt of the head, and resting my face on folded hands.

Seats. This is probably going to be unpopular, but I let my students pick their seats on the first day. I then tell them that they can keep these seats as long as they work, however if I need to make a seating chart, I will. I also make it a competition between my classes about which class will go the longest without making a seating chart. It also allows you to see the natural dynamics of the class and who does and doesn't work well together.

Non-verbal communication. From facial expressions to gestures to even the way you stand or sit or WHERE you position yourself in the classroom. The kids hear teachers scold and yell at them all the time so they don't really care about that (a lot of kids find the yelling funny), so if you can use non-verbal communication or a very low and slow voice, they actually will listen because it's not what they're used to. This works especially well on a rowdy class that is not used to quiet because it's so different from anything else.

Consistency and fairness. Middle schoolers have a very strong sense of right and wrong/fair and unfair and will notice if you treat students differently. If I have a classroom expectation that if a kid is messing around on their laptop when they should do work and the consequence of that is doing a paper assignment and losing laptop privileges for the rest class, you have to follow that for EVERY kid. I don't care if that kid is normally a perfect angel, they still broke the expectation and deserves the consequence.

Explaining. I always give a reason why. "No, you can't go to the bathroom because Becky is out." "This assignment needs to be done without your notes so you can practice on your own and I can see what you know and don't know." "No eating in my class because the wrappers and crumbs end up on the floor and attract bugs." Most of the time if kids understand the reason for something, they're much more likely to follow it.

Clear and specific directions. Make your directions very clear and exactly what you want. If you're tired of getting, "Can I go to the bathroom?" when you ask if there's any questions, say, "What questions might you have about the assignment?" If a student who likes to get off topic raises their hand to ask a question, I like to ask, "Is this question directly related to what we're talking about?" A lot of the time that causes them to pause, think about their question, and most of the time we avoid getting off topic.

Allow talking and jokes and movement. The vast majority of the time, my students can talk and move around my classroom. As long as they aren't disrupting other students and getting their work done, go ahead and chit chat. There are specific times when they aren't allowed to talk, but other than that it's pretty chill.

Listening. A lot of the time kids will talk to you about their other teachers. Listen to what they say, as long as it doesn't turn into teacher bashing. I've learned a lot about what works with my students by hearing about how they react to their other teachers. I shut down teacher bashing, but if a kid has a valid concern/frustration OR they really like something another teacher does, why not take that into consideration? You don't tell the kid you're changing it because they brought it up, but file it away.

Apologize/recognize you make mistakes. Not only does it show you're human, it shows the kids you respect them AND it models appropriate behavior. I've noticed that kids in my classes are a lot more likely to apologize to both me and the other kids because they see me do it. Also, if you mess up with an adult you'd apologize, so why wouldn't you apologize to a kid??

Genuine and sincere. Don't try to bullshit kids, don't try to be someone you're not, and show the students you really care about them. For example, by the time the "bad" kids get to middle school, they know they're labeled that and they know the drill about teachers falsely praising them for even raising their hands. They know it's fake, they don't care, and it's insulting. A lot of the time those kids want to be treated like every other kid, so if they're behaving as they should, I treat them the same way I treat the other kids doing the same thing. I might tell them quietly, "Good job working hard today" as they leave, but I'm not going to fawn over them and turn it into an over the top project.

So yeah, those are my top 10 classroom management tips. Hopefully they can help someone!

#teacher #teaching #education #educator #middle school

[highpri3stess]

Heyo! It’s Pudding! I was wondering if you would wanted to write a Nahoya (Smiley) request. It doesn’t matter what prompt, I was just wondering if you could write about smiley.

This is optional too, so you don’t have to take this request. <3

Hate me like you Love me - Nahoya 'Smiley' Kawata x f!Reader

Pairing: Nahoya 'Smiley' Kawata x Reader

Warning: Frenemies to lovers, nsfw, angst with happy ending, mean smiley, mention of violence, cheating (not reader or smiley), fingering (f. recieving), car sex.

Monica's notes: he may be ranked as one of the worst boyfriend, but that doesn't reduce his quality as boyfriend material. Reblogs and comments are appreciated. Follow for more ♡ edit: tumblr has decided to be weird again. Sigh.

wc: 2.07k

Join my taglist: @suguju @suyacho @obitohno @happygoluckyalexis @mastermindenoshimaalicia @haitaniwhor3 @lovelygeniegirl1012 @iheartamajiki @pinksilk

Minors and ageless/blank blogs, dni

YOU should have known better than to crash  with Nahoya after you broke up with your boyfriend.

There was no one else really, Yuzuha had gone out with Takemichi and Hinata to a movie and she wasn't going to be back until tomorrow morning. Hakkai was out of the question, knowing him and his lack of restraint, he'd go to your boyfriend's house and beat him within an inch of his life if he found out that the asshole had cheated on you. Emma wasn't picking your calls either, so you couldn't just show up at her apartment unannouced.

So when Souya had suggested Nahoya come pick you up instead; since he was out of town, you had no choice but to agree. You hoped that your lack of intimacy with the peach haired man would allow him some form of neutrality when he comes to pick you up from your ex. The two of you were always at each others throats, Nahoya being the instigator and you getting annoyed with his antics. He'd probably laugh at your bad luck with men on the ride home, nothing more.

You were so wrong because the second he stepped into your house and saw your exboyfriend uncaringly sitting on the couch as you stood by the door with your boxes, all hell broke loose.

If you hadn't yelled at him with his full name, he would have killed your exboyfriend.

You avoid speaking to him on the car ride home, you're too angry to even speak to him. With that dumb shiteating grin plastered on his lips, you could have been fooled that he wasn't mad either, if not for the way his busted knuckles tightened on the wheel.

"You know," he says after a long silence that had since persisted at the start of the journey. "you should be thanking me for doing you a favour."

The smugness in his tone is infuriating. The same tone he's had since you both were kids whenever he would beat up anyone that said something bad about you, even though he was just as mean as the other kids, if not more mean. You keep your lips sealed tight, replying him would just show that he's managed to get under your skin yet again and you couldn't give him that sort of satisfaction.

"So you're ignoring me huh?" Nahoya laughed, clearly pissed that you weren't arguing with him like previous times. Aggravating you is the only dynamic he knows that would get your attention on him alone, as selfish as it sounded and even that didn't work this time around. "Is it because I beat up that fucker? Do you still like him or what? What did you even see in that guy anyways-"

" 'm not in the mood, you prick. Just shut up and drive."

From the corner of your eye, you can see his lips twitch in annoyance. "Don't tell me to shut up." He always hated those words coming from your mouth, it sounded like nails scratching a blackboard to his ears. He liked talking to you even though you fight every time and you not wanting to listen to him made him angry. "You're in MY car, I get to say whatever the fuck I want and you don't get to bitch about it."

"Smiley, stop-"

"In fact, maybe you had this coming-

"STOP, STOP, STO-"

"Always dating shitbags that don't value ya one bit when there are guys out here that'll die for ya!"

"YEAH? AND WHO ARE THE GUYS, HUH?" Your voice is almost glass shattering, accompanied by you slamming your hand on the car door to drive your point across. "WHO AND WHERE ARE THEY? WHERE WERE THESE GUYS THAT'LL DIE FOR ME WHEN I HAD TO ENDURE A WHOLE FUCKING MONTH WITH MY FUCKING EX IN THE SAME HOUSE, SEEING THAT BITCH HE CHEATED ON ME WITH EVERYDAY AND HEARING THEM FUC-"

The car swerves around half-hazardly into a darkened alley with a loud 'screech' and you jolt forward as Nahoya steps on the brake a bit too hard and causing the car to jerk harshly. Your mouth is already moving as you catch your breath, screaming at him again. "Nahoya, are you fucking insane-"

"RIGHT HERE! I AM RIGHT HERE FOR GOD'S SAKE! I'VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE!"

You stop talking the moment the words left his mouth, but now he's fed up as well and he starts yelling out his confessions. "You just hated me for some reason so I messed around with you so that you could …" he runs his hands through his peach coloured locks with a pained smile etched on his face.

You could practically feel your heart drop down your chest as he continues saying his truth. "... you could at least talk t'me somehow. You can't leave my fucking head; I've always had dreams about holding your hand, about you smiling at me and rubbin' my head like you do for Souya, about us kissing, about us…"

His breath hitches in his throat as the memories of his lewd fantasies about you flash before his very eyes.

"About us fucking, especially with that pissed off face of yours-"

Your body grows hot at that confession and instinctively, you unconsciously rub your thighs together at the thought. There's a feeling of guilt bubbling up in your chest as he confesses his feelings; you know deep down that despite him being so annoying majority of the time, he tried to be kind to you in his own way.

There where times you took his jokes way too seriously and push him away when you felt that he was getting too close. You knew you were trying to avoid your presistent feelings for him because you were scared of him using your heart and throwing it in your face. Nahoya is unmistakenably mean sometimes and you didn't want him laughing at your dumb confessions.

"That's why I just had to beat up that piece of shit for breaking ya heart." He managed to confess, letting go of everything on his chest. "You looked s'sad and heart broken, how was I supposed to not rearrange his stupid face with my fists?"

The car goes silent after that and you let his words properly sink in. A doubtful part of your heart always told you that you were much too reserved, quiet for the wild Nahoya Kawata, the crazy boy who could brutally beat up someone if they as much as looked at you wrong, even though he knows you would yell at him while cleaning his wounds. But now, seeing his distaught smile, the way he gripped the steering wheel with his busted knuckles and his jaw clenched, you knew there was no holding back anymore.

"Just forget I said any-"

"Kiss me."

Nahoya has to do a double take, opening his eyes wide to stare at you as if you had grown a second head. He can see a wild, hungry look in your eyes, almost primal, something he could never associate with you before this time, because no matter how loud you yelled, you weren't ever violent or harsh as he was.

Seeing you like this? Desperate? Angry? Horny? A mixture of all three? It's enough to drive him crazy.

"Can't you hear me? I said kiss m- mmph"

His lips crash onto yours with frevour, teeth clanking against each other as he kisses you, deeply, his tongue wrestling with yours in a battle of dominance that you've lost automatically. A gutteral groan vibrates into your throat as he grabs your the back of your head and pushes you closer to him. His kisses are overwhelming, even when he pulls away briefly to breathe hotly against your skin and then continues kissing you, you still feel out of breath.

He pulls away from your lips and moves to the space between your jaw and your neck, trailing messy kisses down your jawline to the slope of your neck, teeth grazing every inch of skin he could put his mouth on. One hand of yours finds refuge in his hair, digging into it and the other grabs his free hand, placing it in between your inner thighs, fingertips grazing the wet patch that had formed over your panties.

You knows it's public, anyone could practically catch you both if they happen to get curious about the bumper of his red corolla sticking out of the alleyway he parked in. Normally, you would never even agree to something so indecent but with confidence as your drug, you decide to step out your comfort zone.

"Please, touch me down there."

You can feel him smile against your neck, before using a lone finger to trail down your clothed slit, making you shiver. Everything happens so fast, you feel him slide into your panties and his thumb skillfully rubs tight circles over your clit, making you pant heavily, eyes shut from the pleasure building up. Slowly his forefinger nudges into your wet pussy, sliding in better with your arousal coating your entrance.

The burn from the stretch isn't too bad, and soon, you find yourself clenching around his finger as he toys with your clit, moans of pleasure escaping your plump lips.

"Hear that?" His mouth is next to the shell of your ear and his eyes are fixated onto the dazed look all over your face as he fingered you. The sound of squelching made by his thick fingers thrusting into you fast, hitting the right places at a rhythmn, is beyond obscene that if you could hide your face in your palms, you would. "That's how good you're taking this finger. You like that huh? Me putting my finger into this pussy of yours?"

You nod vigorously nod, words betraying you as he thrusted even faster into you. The coil in your stomach was too tight to keep it any longer, you can feel the rough pads of his fingers rubbing your clit to the point your vision gets hazy. You feel like your body's floating, Nahoya's dirty words and quick, deep thrusts has you tettering on the edge

"Oh 'hoya, oh hoya ah hah ah" Your body tenses up the moment he starts curling his fingers on your g-spot and your voice gets louder and louder. "Think 'm about to cum-"  you breathe out, laboured, dizzy with pkeasure.

"Go ahead, make a fuckin' mess on my fingers."

Your hand tightens around his curly hair and your pussy throbs against his fingers, riding out your high. Nahoya's lips meet yours in an open mouthed kiss, swallowing every of your moans in his mouth as he guides you through your orgasm, until your legs stop trembling and your body relaxes completely. You watch as he pulls his finger out of you with a smug grin plastered on his face, strings of cum connecting his fingers to your puffy lips. Nahoya is entranced - it's a dream come true that he could have you like this at the very least of it, even though it's just sex.

Without giving it much of a thought, he slides his soiled finger into his mouth, tasting your juices on his tongue and humming pleasure. You don't want to give him the satisfaction that your body felt so hot at the sight, so you turn your head and mutter "Nasty 'hoya" under your breath.

He pulls his finger out with a loud 'pop and grins at you again. Your heart races faster the moment he restarts the engine and starts recklessly driving out of the alleyway, despite the raging boner straining his jeans and a wet dot forming on the crotch of his pants.

"Wait I haven't gotten you off ye-"

"You calling me nasty?" He cuts you short in a challenging tone, driving so dangerously close to the speed limit. Your thighs clench against each other at the sight of his tense smile, still focused on the road ahead. The blood in both your veins is hot with lust and passion, ignorant of whatever discussion you two should have had before doing anything together. What's the need of the discussion anyways? You're going to be his and anyone who tries to question it would get their ass handed to them.

"Wait till we get to my place and I'll show you how nasty I can be. You won't be walking tomorrow when I'm done with you."

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

Honestly a lot of Internet Social Justice Culture TM i see around relies on the idea of being The Perfect Person as well and doesn't allow any room at all for just like. Feeling normal human emotions about things. Not only is it important to do the right action, you have to feel the right feelings as well, and that is just....so horrifically unhealthy and ineffective on all levels.

The thing that made me think about this most clearly was seeing a tweet something to the extent of "what the fuck, don't mourn your children if they end up trans, what is wrong with you, they're not fucking dead" which i think just. completely misunderstands the process of 'mourning' your ideas about your child.

Like, don't get me wrong, yes, some people are shitty about this, some people are shitty about everything. But, though I'm not a parent, I strongly suspect that every good parent ends up 'mourning' the idea of their child in one way or another. If they aren't, I would be worried they are instead continuing to force their ideals onto their child and not letting them grow into a different person from themselves.

Mourning your ideas about your child is not about being sad about who your child is. It's about accepting that you had a lot of different ideas about how parenthood was going to be, and who that child was going to be, and seeing that it's different than what you expected. And there are so many strong emotions associated with parenthood! It's completely normal that the process of seeing that things are going to be different gives you strong emotions, as well. But, and this is crucial--just because someone is mourning an idea does not mean that they're forcing this sadness onto their child and making them feel 'less than' for not living up to that idea. That is the point--you mourn so you can let go, and live in the moment, and love your child for who they are.

I think, even, if the child is old enough to understand the complex feelings (I'm not sure what age this would be, but I think earlier than most would assume), there is a very loving and warm way to share this with them, if they seem to notice it. If they ask, in some way, hey, are you upset I turned out this way? You can say something about, you know, you didn't turn out the way i thought you would, and it is taking me some time to accept that. But what's most important to me is that you live who you really are and I'm so much happier that you felt comfortable sharing that with me.

That's what mourning means. It's the process of moving on.

Like, on a less poignant note than parenthood, and thus I think easier for a lot of people to just yell 'move on! it doesn't matter!'; it's perfectly okay to be really sad about what happened with harry potter, and mourn the thing that series used to be in your life. It was a huge part of a lot of people's childhoods, and even adulthoods! And it's not any more childish than any other fandom. It's probably something a lot of people shared with their parents--and even then their kids! And to come to the realization of what that series means and the ideas behind it...it's fucking hard, and people are allowed to be sad about it, and it's not less "righteous" to be sad about it. There is nothing more Just about being unaffected and acting like you can just discard it without a thought.

It's okay, it's human, to be sad about having to give up something that's important to you, no matter how small that thing is. It's okay to be sad when the context changes. And I think everyone deciding that being angry is the only option, that completely discarding and ignoring all associated Positive feelings is the only Right thing to do, is just being needlessly cruel and ignoring what it is to be a human being. And, more practically, making it a lot harder for people to agree with what you're saying and be on your side! If you only give people the option of ignoring all of their emotions, which is impossible! or being the Bad Guy, then, well...a lot of people will take the option that is not impossible. It's not just cruel...it's completely ineffective to the goals of social change and organizing. Unless, of course, your goal is to be cruel. In which case, at least recognize what you're doing.

#sj stuff /// #spongesound.txt

[joeyleesblog]

Silence (inside your head the screams won't shut up)

Synopsis: Reader (R for short) has rowdy drunk parents, a whiny little sister, and a skittish cat. Damian offers her refuge.

Platonic! Damian.

Warning: alcoholism and unstable home.

......................................

Silence (inside your head the screams won't shut up)

ultra_violet_delia

(I remember those days

The terror that's in our house, the fear in your bones

Does not go away

Not)

(...)

The screams and insults are present in R's earliest memories. The loud, angry voices of Mom and Dad lashing out at each other pierce his skin and sink into his bones like needles. She remembers crying and crying as loud as her parents' screams, in the childish desire to have the attention of the people who brought her into the world, to be comforted and supported. But mom and dad don't, they just keep throwing insults and mean words at each other. So she learns that crying is a waste of time and doesn't drown out the hellish noise.

She hates being around her parents and staying at home, but the streets of Gotham are also noisy: gunshots, robberies and murders. Staying on the street to escape the noise at home is not the best option — but there are days when it's worth risking a little silence. However, there are her neighbors a few blocks away, some are kind and allow her to stay in their homes and play with their children. They are her few good childhood memories.

However, R believes she has been cursed, because sometimes the screams of her home linger in her head, even when she isn't home and her parents are away. She once had to be taken to the hospital for stitches in her head after slamming her into the bathroom mirror, hoping to silence her parents' loud voices - and she did, but then her parents yelled at her until her cheeks they turned red and they took away dinner for weeks because of medical bills. Therefore, it was not worth trying this method again.

(...)

(These are my memories

You do not want to know

You do not want to know

These are the memories we've been waiting for We don't want to show

We don't want to show

By now you need to know, you're not alone)

(...)

WHEN her little sister C is born, the noise gets worse. She is very crybaby and demanding, irritates R in the first few months, however, she understands why that baby cries so much and doesn't stop anymore, especially when the parents are drunk and screaming - that is, always. — R then does what she wanted her parents to do when she cried; cradles her little sister in her arms and sings to her, hoping to drown out the noise of her parents' violent fight. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't - and sometimes she can't take the pressure and lets it out through her eyes and mouth until her throat burns and her head hurts. Until all the anger, pain and frustration leaves the heart for a while.

Time passes, C grows up and keeps crying, his parents keep drinking and yelling. Your creativity in inventing pranks to distract your sister from the fights increases - she is also distracted by the noise. — School becomes a refuge and she gets a job as a dishwasher.

She saves until she can buy a kitten at a pet store. He's risky and ill-tempered, his parents hate him, but she loves him like a son: her adorable, arrogant Julius Caesar - because of his funny depiction in Asterix and Obelix - with a little clawless paw.

Life is still unhappy and noisy, but C and Júlio make it worth it, they continue to live it and dream of the day when everything will be silent.

(...)

(Save the violence

On top of your heart like a secret location

Where no one can enter)

(...)

R didn't have an opinion about Damian Wayne beyond what the media talked about and his peers gossiped. Honestly, she didn't mind another rich kid at school, especially when he didn't try her patience. In short, R was neutral towards Gotham's most beloved son. — that is, until she was cast as his science partner. Then everything changed from there.

Damian Wayne really was a jerk with sharp words and an imperious temper. He was somewhat reminiscent of his parents, so it was easy to dislike the boy and deal with his bad behavior without falling into the trap of fighting back and wasting your breath in vain on someone who had mastered the art of argumentation - be it debate or fists. His indifferent reaction clearly shook the brunette who was used to receiving defensive and negative reactions because of his lack of manners. It was a little unexpected and mildly interested in him, testing how far that indifference went.

One day, R relented.

— You're more annoying than my cat when it wants food. Only I feel like hitting you instead of petting you.

Damian's reaction was nothing like she'd expected.

- You have a cat?

The interest in her voice surprised her and although confused, but never missing an opportunity to talk about her risky baby - even with an idiot - R answered her.

- Yea. Julio Cesar. The brunette smiled as if he approved of the name. As for his personality, certainly the great emperor of Rome was his idol.

— A fitting name for a noble creature.

R snorted in amusement.

- Noble than anything. I tried to give him a mouse once, my God, he looked at me like I said I was going to neuter him and bit my ankles until he threw the mouse out of sight.

Damian laughed.

— My cow is also very picky about her food. But that's to be expected when I provide only the best for her. R dropped the vial.

- Your what?

Damian scoffed. And so a friendship formed from conversations about their pets, then their hobbies and their hated teachers. Soon, they were eating together at recess and hiding from their annoying classmates in the farthest corners of the school. So they exchanged phone numbers and met outside the school in cafes, squares and libraries. They were fresh and relaxed days, R loved it.

So R decided that his younger sister would join in the fun too and asked Damian if he would like to go to the amusement park with her and her little sister for the weekend.

The way his face crinkled up at the lost one was hilarious, but in the end the answer was yes. When the weekend finally arrived and Damian and C finally met, it was a very funny moment, they were both shy with each other and the walk to the park was an awkward silence. However, Damian quickly won over his little sister, distributing all the prizes he won in almost every game and buying all the goodies she wanted, although the boy said that they were junk that should not be consumed. However, when C offered the treats with such enthusiasm and expectations in his little bambi eyes, Damian couldn't bring himself to refuse and break the child's heart. Their grimaces from eating the sugary junk food were great and it was really a shame that R couldn't capture them.

In short, it was the most fun and wonderful time in R and C's life. The memory became an outlet for Mom and Dad's violent arguments and fights.

R, C and Damian were a trio. C sang praises and praises for the boy with ninja skills that inflamed his ego and Damian decided that his little sister would be his newest student to teach fighting and defense moves. R loved the lightness and ease of being with both of them and everything was perfect.

Until the three of them went out on the boat and C accidentally spilled a body of juice on Damian's sleeve and had a fit of tears and sobs, clinging to R like a lifeline when Dami tried to reassure her and it had the opposite effect. R excused himself as he carried his sobbing sister to the bathroom and spent nearly an hour soothing her. When the little girl finally stopped crying and the two returned to the table, already clean and with a new body of juice, Damian was waiting for them with a neutral face. The brunette then got up and knelt down in front of C.

— Hey look at me please C.

C made a great effort and looked straight into the boy's green irises.

— I'm not crazy. I promise. Sorry if I scared you.

The little sister started crying again and threw herself into Damian's arms, to the surprise of the teenager who didn't expect the reaction and did his best to calm the little girl who started to cry and scratched on her expensive clothes. In the end, C won two ice creams and a stuffed animal from Robin.

Of course after that disastrous episode Damian started asking questions that R feared and the bastard was good at asking the questions in a way that one day cornered the girl.

It was disastrous.

— Let's do the work at your house.

— What? No, you know you can't be there.

— It's because?

— You know very well why, Damian.

— Tt. What's the matter with your parents? What will happen if they get mad, R? Something bad maybe?

Tell me. She could almost hear the thread of her patience snapping. And at that moment, R proved to be her parents' daughter.

— Go to hell with your innuendoes, you rich bastard! You want to talk about abuse so badly?! Great! Why don't we talk about you then?!

Right on target.

- How is it?

— No one is blind to bruises, Damian! God, even broken bones! Where do they come from, huh? It's not just from kidnappers! Unless your dad covers up the fact that you get kidnapped every week! And if so, what else does your dad cover up for the media, huh?! Your short temper perhaps? After all, you have to inherit this temper from someone!

— My father is not an abusive scum like your parents!

— They're not abusers, you idiot! Why the hell are you so obsessed with this?!

— Then why is C so uncomfortable around alducts? Why is she so scared when they speak a little louder? And when we have a petty argument she begs us not to fight? Why does she look at me like I'm hurting her?

— Do you want to talk about reactions? OK. Why do you get so tense when someone approaches you like an enemy? Why is your first reaction to attack or defend when someone takes you by surprise? Why do you behave like you're going to be attacked when we leave? Huh, Damian? Who taught you these reactions?

(...)

(Silence is what I need silence the misery

The silence that belongs to me

Like stillness inside a dream

Just be quiet and pray

And let the noise disperse)

(...)

SURPRISINGLY, it was Damian who relented and apologized first. Well, what could be considered a waste of apology coming from Damian Wayne. It was on the terrace that they spoke for the first time in a whole month without even exchanging glances.

— My reaction wasn't mature and I realize I shouldn't have pushed you like I did. Am sorry.

R did not hesitate to respond.

— I shouldn't have yelled and cursed at you. I'm sorry, Damian.

— All right.

They sat in comfortable silence, looking up at the sun in Gotham's polluted sky. Even R confesses in a low voice.

— Mom and Dad fight like kids and drink beer like water. They never hit me or C, just yelled and took our dinner away. I learned to deal with it and I tried to protect C from it, but you see how in vain it was.

— No, R. You did a good job. And I don't say it just to say it, but because it's true. You know me.

— Thanks.

— My father is not an abuser. I... I grew up in a dojo with my mother and my grandfather owns it. I learned the fight the moment I started walking. Then I moved in with a father who disapproved of the way my mother and grandfather raised me.

— Damn it.

— IT IS.

— What an exciting life we ​​have.

— Very exciting indeed.

R laughed and laughed and laughed, until tears welled up in her eyes and sobs escaped her mouth. Damian didn't say anything, just let her cry into his shoulder until she calmed down and then he opened his mouth.

— You and C are welcome to the Manor anytime.

— Your...

— My family keeps asking when I'm bringing you and C to the mansion.

-.... OK. I'm dying to eat Alfred's cooking.

Damian just smiled funny

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne

[sergeantsporks]

Something that I kind of wonder about with Ed and Em in season 1, did Odalia actually get mad at them like she would Amity?

I'm just thinking about what causes them to get in trouble with her during COTH and that they are too very different beasts. Amity gets grounded for hiding behind the trash; twins get in trouble for trying to burn down the factory. Odalia refers to them as little scamps for trying to steal the airship and seems to think that Amity was the bad influence on them.

So, I can't help but wonder if Odalia just has different standards for for two groups of children. Ed and Em are a unit in her mind and Amity is a different one. She seems more controlling of Amity's life than she does of the twins (who her friends can and can't be, her grades, what coven she will join, etc.). Because that can happen with abusive parents, where no matter what one child gets in trouble for everything while the other children can do no wrong.

I can't help but wonder if Amity was fed up with any little thing getting her in trouble while the twins I think most likely got a slap on the wrist for skipping classes.

I mean, they probably COULD get away with more, but with the whole "Aw, scamps :)" thing I do wonder how much of that is "trained herself into saving her abusiveness for private" because she also didn't get publicly angry in "Escaping Expulsion" when Amity ruined the show, she waited for the guests to be gone before yelling at her to save face. Haha, kids, amirite? But I'm a good, benevolent mother :)

I do think probably Ed and Em were held to a different standard than Amity though, for sure. In part because they built up a "mischievous carefree twins" persona that is WILDLY popular, so it would be BAD for the Blight image if they were to be more like Amity: suddenly studious, hard workers who hang out in a small clique that is above everyone else. BECAUSE they were twins, they were already part of a "set." Odalia carefully selected and pushed Amity into being part of a "set" with Boscha and the rest, she cultivates the image Amity has, but Ed and Em were already a convenient package. Instead of pressuring them to be friends with the "right" people, they're pressured into always being around each other, instead.

Unlike with Amity and her "friends" they actually ENJOY each other's company, but we see frustrations and problems in the relationship as well, with Edric being supper attached to Emira and Emira expressing frustration that she'll always be "stuck" with Edric. We don't look at their relationship as being pressured by Odalia to the exclusion of others like we do with the Amity/Boscha/Willow debacle because, again, they actually like being around each other, but make no mistake, Odalia is controlling their social circle as much as she controls Amity's.

It would also look bad if she were to quash their "mischievous side," since that's part of their persona. This actually allows her to sort of infantilize them. Like you pointed out, trying to burn down the factory and commit grand theft auto got them "aw, scamps :)" She is purposely demeaning their actions as childish pranks to take away their autonomy. Burning down the factory is a SERIOUS THING. Trying to steal the blimp is a SERIOUS THING. If Odalia treats it like it isn't, like they did it not as an act of actual rebellion, a well thought out plan to stop her, but as another simple prank, well, that's FRUSTRATING. On the one hand, not being actively PUNISHED more than for a prank doesn't exactly discourage them from trying again, but on the other hand, if even your greatest efforts and your angriest attempt to stand up is treated as "just a prank," that's discouraging as all get out, like nothing you do is ever going to be enough, nothing you're doing even fazes her.

Odalia is a showman, a marketer. Her family has to be bland, perfect, consumable to the public. So Ed and Em must lean into the "part of a set: do not separate" twin stereotype, and then stick to their mischievous persona and Amity must have her own group of socialite friends and stick to her "top student" persona, which requires stricter parenting and tighter, more obtrusive control than the "mischievous scamps" persona.

And that's probably part of the reason Amity ratted them out. She sees that they don't get punished like she does, like you said, getting off with a slap on the wrist. And she WANTS THEM TO. She's angry and frustrated and hurt and she looks at these older twins who are perfect and can do no wrong despite all of the wrongs they are OBVIOUSLY DOING and while Odalia probably WILL let them off with a slap on the wrist, she wants so very badly to not always be the scapegoat.

I made a post a while ago about a free of Belos Hunter getting super jealous when other people are complimented, even if it isn't to his detriment, and having the immediate instinct to try to tear them down to build himself up. I think Amity had a similar instinct when it came to the twins (Key word being "had"). We saw it already when Willow did better than her in abominations (although for her there was probably also another motivator in her parents not being pleased with her losing top student status). And her telling their parents about the twins skipping school was also evidence of that. She wants them to get in trouble like she gets in trouble so that she's not the only one, and while they probably DIDN'T, so it's not a "big deal," it's still a "h u h" kind of thing in pointing at her early personality, where she was a bully, and how her parents hurting her the way they did shaped her, and then how she was able to GROW once she got some positive interactions in her life.

And it's just SO AWESOME how far she's come, how far ED AND EM have come and seeing their relationships shift and change. With Ed and Em, it was mainly the shock, again, of their actions having real consequences that nearly got their sister KILLED (whereas before their pranks would get them a slap on the wrist from Odalia and were relatively harmless; real consequence equals change in behavior), and with Amity, it was learning to, well, not see everything as an opportunity to justify existing, and surrounding herself with people who wouldn't make her feel like that.

Anyway, I know I don't talk about Amity or Ed and Em much on my blog, but they are just. Their development is so important to me.

#toh #asks #the owl house #eddric blight #emira blight #amity blight #toh analysis

[theindescribable1]

This is for @regurgitated-memes and @happysheik and for anyone else who cares for a better understanding of how I feel.

Hey guys, this'll probably be a long post, and maybe emotional. I'd like to talk about my childhood experience, the reason for a lot of my depression. So as of right now, I have mental illnesses, in which I'd like to talk about. Let's start from the beginning of my trauma. I was probably very young, but I remember when I was just a little dumb annoying toddler, just trying to explain a situation with my dad. Honestly my dad is probably the biggest problem. I probably got in trouble over an accident, instead of calmly talking out the situation and/or giving a gentle warning, my dad would scream at me, never let me talk, never gave me an accident pass. I remember one moment when my dad grabbed my by the neck and I was slammed against a drawer. If I remember correctly...my dad got so angry at me trying to make him stop yelling at me that he slammed me, poor child me, into a drawer while temporarily choking me. Almost every day throughout my childhood, I got yelled at, screamed at, ignored, hurt, etc, to the point that to this day I still can't forgive or forget what my parents have said. Of course there was the discipline of time-out and the other...punishment... but it was always worse for me, because I was often just "beat for punishment" rather than "for discipline" and a lot of the time, I did nothing wrong. Being the youngest child, its said that they are the favorite and get more love than the oldest and middle, stereotypically. I'm here to say that its completely false. My sister is 2 years older than me and she is treated so perfectly, she never gets in trouble or has to do any chores, still to this day she is so spoiled. She doesn't even go to real school, she does this online crap in which she mutes the teacher and watches Tv! I'm stuck getting blamed, getting in trouble, crying alone unable to confess how I feel. I keep my emotions bottled up, since I was little. I wasn't even allowed to talk in some conversations. I was completely ignored sometimes, neglected and just thought of as a house keeper! I had to do so many chores to the point that I felt like a restless child in the Industrial era of child labor. And some kids get paid, or at least a thank you, I got nothing. Never got anything. To this day I'm still waiting to hear my parents say they are proud of me. I do everything for my family. Chores, emotional support, favors, complements, everything! But apparently when I don't immediately do what they say in 0.5 seconds, its always; "You never listen, you're always on that phone" Its crazy to think about the amount of times I have been insulted by my parents, or have been called lazy/useless. It hurts, I do so much to make them happy or proud, all I get is; "You half-assed" "You never do anything" "your best isn't good enough" "stop being a little shit!" Mind you, my dad swore at me everyday since I was a little child! Just a kid! That is ridiculous, and I'm always told "Oh, where did you learn that word? That's a mean word" Are you serious?! My parents never NEVER seemed to care about what I had to say, or any of my friends. One time I was talking to my friend about something my friend Viola said, and he so kindly replied with; "I don't give a damn what your little friend has to say, I really don't." Worst part about this growing depression, I can't talk it out with my family. The last time I tried to tell my mom how I felt, she immediately got mad and said; "You always talk about how sad and depressed you are, oh, and how hard you have it! Are you kidding me!? Look around, look at all you have!" I had to stop her by saying that I was kidding and she just said; "Well stop telling these jokes, they hurt my feelings" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I make HER sad... I can't talk about it, they worsen my depression and I'm too scared to say a word to them, they don't even notice the millions of times I have ran away in tears? They neglect my feelings and only make things worse! I'm going to do a pt. 2 on this, this is taking a pretty long while.

#Pt. 1 of explaining my depression #This is for all the people who know how I feel and want to understand me more #I need to talk about how I feel to people I know won't judge me #I just need to talk

[what-if-nct]

Yo its been such a long time I'm sorry. How's everything going? Are you doing well? Are you feeling well? World've better treated you well. I wanna throw a fit when not. I totally love your insta its too cute!!! Also your clothing style, you actually dare to go out in that? I cant believe it I wish I was brave enough to wear cute clothes but ppl are assholes in my surroundings so I probably wouldn't dare to- I love your style so so so SOOO much.

I mightve fallen back in a (not too severe) Mark Lee obsession and a (very severe) tgcf obsession. Also scumvillains self saving system, I bought volume one only my mom read the backside of it, which is about someone being a half demon and she tells me not to buy it anymore. I'm probably still gonna buy it because I wanna read the happy endingggg (same for tgcf but the next volume i should buy has a very sus cover so I have to hide it from everyone XD)

I have Mark Lee hanging up my wall and once in a while, I stand there and take a selfie with Mork. Its kinda tradition for me now.

Mannn i wish I had stuff to sayyy TT anyways 🥋 anon actually deserves the world so wtf is going on like actually. He didnt do anything wrong right then why is all going on and also why can't people see? I get so fucking angry and upset whenever I see ppl making fun of mental health and when i hear abt how people treat him, and I'm not even the person it happens to!! Like why must world be so unfair, like God may take all the happiness I have and give it to him. Please

That turned a little deep i'm sorry. Some people would just need to know (also 🥋 yeah ily amd ill never stop saying it) (i'm still gonna start a fanclub for him)

-sneeze

(Ps theres a character from tgcf who is canonically a dilf, and kinda turned into the god of coitus and hes scared of women) (hes my fav I love him so much) (his title Ju Yang meaning perfect sun was once misspelled as Ju Yang meaning tremendous masculinity and boom. Ppl started praying to him for sex and kids) (sorry i love that dude too much)

Hiii! And I'm doing fine and I'll stay fine as long as I stay away from people once the pms kicks in I think that's been my problem the past few months. Gotta seclude self during the moon time. And thank youuuu, you're so sweet and I do go out dressed like that. I really don't notice people when I'm out, so I never think twice about it until a creepy man says creepy things like please don't look at me. Only women and guys who look like Timothy Chalatmet and Heir Of Atticus are allowed to perceive me. But I rarely hear anything negative. But seeing my reflection in store windows and hearing girls yell they love my outfit is all that matters. Oh a girl who worked at the grocery store told me she liked my outfit and when I pulled out my card my Jeongin photocard was in my wallet and she asked if I liked kpop I wish I could've said more to her she was so cute but I was shy. So it's worth it to dress however you want cause for every person who has something mean to say there's 10 people with something nice to say. Also how you think you look and how it makes you feel is the most important part. I suggest you at least once to wear a really cute outfit just on a normal day.

I don't know what has gotten into mark lately but I totally understand falling back into it. He's at full power right now. Don't look directly at him cause he's collecting people left and right. Hes still like my boyfriend's kid brother so he doesn't affect me. But I definitely see it, his power. But that is so cute you take a selfie with your picture of mark. I kiss my pictures of Hyunjin or Chan before I leave cause they're right by the door. Their great traditions to have.

I've never heard of tgcf but it sounds like really cool, and yeah it sucks that his mental health is being disregarded it's not okay and he deserves so much better.

[chosok-amo]

LOVIN ON ME: RYOMEN SUKUNA

lately you and sukuna are always arguing, mostly because of his ego, but that night is the worst. he just left you in the middle of the road in the middle of the night, forcing you to walk when you are one hour away from home.

content warning : angst! sukuna, swearing, yelling, name-calling bitch,

word count : 3,6k

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

please don't take this fanfiction seriously. If someone does that to me, I am not gonna do what the girl in my fic does, and I hope nobody is too. I have no intention in writing this fiction other than to have fun because I love to write and I hope nobody goes through the same as the girl.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You and Sukuna are in a relationship, but as time goes by together, Sukuna becomes colder, the two of you often argue, you rarely spend time together anymore, and with his very big ego, Sukuna always blames you. Being the King of Curses made him very arrogant and always looked down on everyone.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀And today, with plans to improve your relationship, you planned to spend time alone with him, but of course, Sukuna ruined everything with his attitude. This made Sukuna feel annoyed with you— still thinking that you were the one in the wrong. You were currently in the car, driving home when Sukuna could no longer hold back his irritation and stopped in the middle of the road. The rain fell as fast as he breathed.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Get out, you can walk home,” he growled angrily. It was already midnight and it would be very unsafe for you to walk alone, in the rain, far from home, but Sukuna didn't seem to care. “Walk home, you bitch,” he shouted angrily. Your eyes opened wide, shocked at what Sukuna just said to you.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“What?”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Fighting is nothing new in your relationship, but this one? this feels very new, and unfamiliar. Your mind wanders, thinking whether you should get out of the car or not. Your chest felt tight as if it was going to explode any moment now and tears gathered themselves at the corners of your eyes, fighting to escape.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“No Y/n, that's it, I'm tired of your bullshit so get the fuck out of the car, now!” Sukuna said, starting to get angry as he honked. He shouted as he continued to slur words and continued to sound the horn. Until finally several cars started to pass the two of you but none of them would stop and check on your condition. The rain continued to fall heavily and you could feel how cold it was outside the car. “What a bitch,” Sukuna mumbled, loud enough for you to hear. He averted his gaze from you to stare at the road which was wet from being continuously hit by water. He doesn't care that you're sick and cold, he's too angry.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“My bullshit?” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “I'm not leaving, Sukuna. I'm not going anywhere,” you continued and turned your gaze out the window. “If you don't, I'll just leave you here,” threatened Sukuna, almost growling. You turned your gaze to look at him who was now looking at you. His red eyes widened at you— showing how angry he was.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀His expression didn't change— Sukuna looked very cold and expressionless. You stared at him for a moment in silence. Your eyes widened when you saw how your boyfriend was sitting there, thinking more about his anger than your safety. Of course that says it all. Unlike him, you are just an ordinary human, you can't defend yourself if danger comes, you don't know how to kill curses, you can't even kill a lizard. And walking home in the rain in the middle of the night is not something that suits your weakness.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You don't mean that,” you said quietly.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna chuckled softly, harshly, mockingly. “Get out,” he repeated coldly, “I'm not kidding, walk home by yourself.” You looked at him in disbelief. Can't believe how you could love someone so arrogant and uncaring like Sukuna. You know very well that he is The King of Curse, of course. But even so, Sukuna never had the heart to let you walk alone in the middle of the night. You're not even allowed to go to the mini market to buy snacks which is only 5 minutes from your apartment if you're not with him.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You were surprised, but Sukuna didn't seem to care. He just kept glaring his eyes at you, and looking straight ahead. His face did not change, remaining flat without expression. “So am I, I'm not leaving, we can stay here all fucking night, I don't care,” you say. Your eyes fluttered at Sukuna, and the man certainly saw this clearly. He saw how your eyes fluttered with red circling your temples. You tried your best not to let your tears fall, at least not in front of Sukuna.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀His red eyes could also see how you pulled your lips into a straight line, trying to block the passionate sobs from coming out. His big hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Sukuna could feel how his heart seemed to be breaking into pieces, he felt tight. But he couldn't do anything, his anger had blinded him so he didn't care about your pain. All he wanted to do was get you out of his sight, as quickly as possible.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I'm not playing around, Y/n. Get out of the fucking car before I make you!” so he shouted. His hand extended towards you, opening the door on your left side. Instantly you could feel the cold air brushing your skin, and slowly the raindrops faintly hit your skin. You looked at your arm which was dripping with rainwater, along with your tears that fell as you slightly lowered your head. Your forehead wrinkles sharply and your vision blurs.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You don't understand what happened, you don't understand the attitude that Sukuna is giving you right now. You don't understand how the man you love so much could change so fast. You didn't understand how he could ignore you and your tears, he didn't care at all. “Where did we go wrong?” you whispered without realizing it, voicing what was in your head.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna roughly sighed and rolled his bored eyes, “There's that dramatic fucking bitch I feel in love with.” Sukuna looked at you angrily. He knew that he should have closed his mouth at this time, pulled you close, hugged you and told you how sorry he was. But he couldn't— felt like he was losing control of himself. “Get out of the fucking car, Y/n!” he shouted back.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“No,” you whispered.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna gritted his teeth, his grip tightened on the steering wheel as if he wanted to break it. So with that he got out of the car and walked to your side. With a single yank, his hands pulled you out of the car— forcing you to get out. He pulled you tight until your phone fell to the muddy ground and was stepped on by Sukuna. His hand roughly gripped your wrist, so rough that you were sure it would leave marks there. “That's it, walk home and good luck,” he said and slammed the car door—closing it roughly.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀The cold feeling that embraced your innocent arms silenced you. You just stared silently at Sukuna's back covered in a plain white shirt, wet from the rain, getting further and further away until finally it disappeared when he got into the car and left—leaving you alone. You stared at the car you were riding in slowly leaving you and disappearing into the dark.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You looked down at your cellphone which was now covered in mud. With a shaking body, you bent down and picked up the flat object. Wiping the mud that covered it onto the white sleeveless dress you were wearing. Under the pouring rain, you walk with your feet going somewhere. Your body continues to jolt due to the resounding roar. Sukuna knows your fear of rain, but he still leaves you alone to walk home.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You keep walking until you arrive at a gas station. Entered there soaking wet and shaking. You saw a girl much younger than you sitting behind the cashier. She glanced at you in surprise with her forehead furrowed in confusion. You walked over to her—standing in front of the cashier's desk. “Can I help you?” she asked hesitantly. You blinked a few times, trying to process the question being thrown at you. Too much rain and cold weather seems to freeze your brain. And crying non-stop doesn't help how you're having trouble digesting what's happening.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“C—can I borrow your charger? I think my p-phone died,” you said quietly, not expecting the voice that came out of your lips to be hoarse than usual. The foreign girl hesitantly nodded, not because she was afraid of you, but she was trying to understand what you had just experienced. Her forehead continues to wrinkle, looking at your flat but pained face. But without saying a word she took your cell phone that you gave her.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Thanks,” you mumbled and slowly turned around to walk out. You sat yourself down on a long chair made of wood which was not far from the door. Your thoughts took you to Sukuna. It brought pain to your chest. It hurts so much that your whole body feels like burning and you can barely breathe. Your throat seemed to be blocked by something so big, preventing you from breathing normally and swallowing your pain. Like it wants to torture you more than you should.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀His words hurt you, his gaze hurts you, even his memories hurt you. Thousands of 'what ifs' continuously invade your little brain without pity, making you more tired with each passing second. Your body feels numb. Now heavy rain, thunder and cold no longer scare you, no longer make you tremble. All you felt was emptiness—as did your gaze staring straight at the asphalt.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀When he arrived home, Sukuna took himself to the room you and he shared— threw himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The anger he had felt for weeks finally exploded, now he felt numb. Being in a room filled with your warmth, he still feels cold. The emotions he usually felt towards you now seemed to disappear—making him feel like his old self again, The King of Curse. He couldn't bring himself to care about you right now.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Not caring about his thoughts as he saw you standing staring at himself driving away from the rearview mirror in front of him. Even though you were soaked and standing in the dark, he could still clearly see your beauty. Your small body is covered in a white dress with straps that hug your beautiful body. It was a dress he gave you, and you wore it especially for him.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna sighed and closed his eyes—hoping he could fall asleep. Trying to put aside the feelings of guilt, shame and sadness that were starting to eat away at him. Sukuna didn't know what to do with this feeling. He felt very new, this feeling was new to him. Since being with you, he's felt a lot of feelings he never knew existed, and he, despite how he is in the original, can feel them too.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna's mind is full of you. He got up from the bed and walked towards the large window that filled the wall on his left side. The storm had begun to subside, the rain had turned gentle and calming, but that wasn't enough to relieve the anxiety in the curse king's chest. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to look for you, when it rained, he would look pathetic. His ego is too big.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀He looked down at the flat object in his hand—a cell phone. There was your name written on the screen, all Sukuna had to do was press the button and put the object to his ear, but no. He just stood there silently with one hand in his pocket and the other shaking holding his cellphone and his head bowed to look at the object.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀It's already 2 am and by now you should be home. But you didn't come, making the pink haired man even more worried. Now Sukuna was sitting at the end of the bed with his elbows resting on his thighs and his face buried in his two big hands. He could feel his hot breath on the skin of his hands and the pain in his eyes seemed like something was forcing its way out.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Where are you, Y/n?” he groaned.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Time continued to pass and as the seconds ticked by the more scared he felt. You were just a normal human being, a weak little girl who needed his protection. In this cruel world you can't defend yourself, you don't have curse techniques, you can't do anything, you're just human. This made Sukuna scared. He couldn't imagine that he would have to kill someone if something happened to you.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I'm sorry for leaving you there, alone. Please come home safely," He, Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, stared at the window with a frown and eyes filled with tears.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀The silence that embraced you was broken when you felt someone touch your shoulder lightly. Startled you turned to your side, finding the cashier girl smiling awkwardly at you. “Here, have this, it's hot chocolate,” she said and handed you a glass. With hands still shaking with cold, you took the glass. A sigh escaped your mouth when you felt the warmth when your skin touched the surface of the glass. “I brought you a towel, it's nothing much but I hope it makes you less cold,” She said, still smiling as she covered your body with the towel.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Thank you so much,” you said quietly to which the girl answered with a nod. “And here, I think your phone is broken,” She said and handed you your phone. You stared at the object for a moment before taking it. You just nodded after that. Silence enveloped you for a few moments with your eyes and her staring straight ahead, before she, who was beside you, spoke again.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I know it's not my place to say this, but... whoever made you walk alone in the middle of the rain at midnight, I hope he was worth it. The look on your eyes, you're expressionless but everyone with eyes can see everything—” The girl paused to turn to look at you, smiling softly to match her eyes. You had already looked at the girl beside you.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“He broke you, didn't he? he shattered your entire being, he cut you down with his word, he ruined you. That's what I see through your eyes. You know.. eventually one of two things will happen, he'll realize you are worth it, or you'll realize he wasn't, and when it happens, I hope it's not too late,” the girl finished her sentence but you unable to say anything. For the umpteenth time that night, your throat tightened again.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Even so, the girl still smiled. She touched your shoulder gently, “Drink your hot chocolate before it gets too cold, I'm gonna go inside. “Stay here as long as you need,” she said kindly. So with that she got up after throwing you one more gentle smile, leaving you alone. You can only ponder, digesting what the girl said.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀After several hours the rain finally stopped. You put the now empty glass on the towel that you had folded neatly on the chair. After what the girl said, you couldn't bring yourself to look at her— afraid that she would find out everything if she looked at you one more time. So you stood next to the trash can, threw your cell phone there and walked away towards the house. The sky showed no signs of the sun appearing soon and walking in the darkness of the night. Keep walking until you finally arrive home. You stopped for a moment as the sight of Sukuna's car entered your vision. This indicated that the man was at home, so you hesitantly stepped inside.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You pushed the door behind you, closing it once you were inside. You sat yourself down on the couch, leaning back. Your eyes look around the place you live. You don't know when it started, but you don't realize how lifeless the house now looks. Everything looked dull and gloomy. You're inside the house but feel colder than when you were outside. This place usually gave you endless warmth, but now you couldn't feel anything but tightness.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Y/n?”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You didn't flinch when you heard Sukuna's hoarse voice behind you. You just stare silently ahead. Sukuna stood in front of you, his eyes looking down— seeing your body shaking cold and wet. His forehead furrowed sharply when he noticed the many wounds on your feet, which he believed were due to you walking barefoot. Sukuna felt like throwing up. All the contents of his stomach were forced to come out. He felt hurt, ashamed and guilty.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀So with that Sukuna stood on one knee in front of you. You can see him who has changed to his original form. Both of his hands were on the floor, supporting his large body, while the other two were holding one of your legs, lifting it until his lips touched the top of your leg—kissing it. You saw how you made the man kneel in front of you with his lips kissing your feet. If it weren't for the current situation, you would feel like a whole zoo was moving in your stomach. Sukuna never kneels in front of anyone, he will make everyone kneel to him. But look at him now. Humbly kissing your feet like he worships wherever you stand.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀I hope he was worth it

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀I'm tired of your bullshit, get out!

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀But now you're not used to feeling anything, you can't think of anything other than Sukuna's screams and the soft words of the cashier girl. The sound kept playing in your ears, getting louder every second until you felt sick. “I don't think I can do this anymore,” you whispered, loud enough for Sukuna to hear which made the man's forehead furrow and his eyebrows raise. He lifted his head to look at you. Still kneeling with both hands holding your legs.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Let's break up, Sukuna,” you said.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Your eyes looked at his red eyes which now you started to realize that he had just been crying. “I'm sorry, y/n, I'm so sorry. How could I do this to the woman I love?” he whispered. He kissed your feet again—kissing every wound there.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀It was pathetic’ you think.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt me, but somehow that didn't stop you. I let down my walls for you, only to make me remember why I built them so high, I don't think you deserve my love.”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I know, my love. I know I don't deserve your love, I don't deserve any part of you, but the selfishness in me wants every part of you. I'm truly sorry for my actions and words—”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“We never gonna work out, I can't believe Iet someone as cruel as you be the love of my life—”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“No please don't say that,” Sukuna quickly cut you off. Now you can no longer hold back your tears. Sukuna shook his head slowly, firmly rejecting your words. He returned to his normal form as he laid his head on your thigh. “I know I'm cruel, there's nothing human about me. But please Y/n, please keep loving me. I can lose you when you're the only one who can touch my soul—” he stopped for a moment.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Lifting his head from your thigh, you noticed the tears that were now rolling down Sukuna's cheeks. And little did you know, seeing him so vulnerable hurt you more than before. “All this feeling is new to me, nobody ever made me feel this too much emotion, so much that it was scary. When I see you tonight in that dress I feel so grateful that it hurts to think that you'll leave me. For as long as I live nobody ever wants me, and seeing how much you love me, I feel scared—”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You are so beautiful, so fragile, so delicate that I know you don't belong in this kind of world, my world. I don't want you to change, I want to keep you the way you are. You deserve the world yet I can give you everything yet I can't give you the world that you deserve and it's killing me. I can kill the entire living thing, giving you a new world, I'm strong for that, but I'm not strong enough for you to leave with my soul in your sleeves— I—”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna choked in the middle of his words. He looked at you, who now looked blurry because of the tears that filled his temples. “Sukuna..” you said slowly. But as if frightened by what you were going to say, Sukuna quickly cut you off again.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Please, give me another chance, I'll do anything for you—”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You can't take it anymore. You couldn't see another second of Sukuna crying while kneeling in front of you. Feeling the pain in your chest when you realize how he is so afraid of losing you and you don't even notice his misery. “Please tell me I mean something to you,” he whispered, more like begging.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You were silent for a moment. “Y/n, please..”

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You mean the world to me, Sukuna. You're the love of my life, don't you get it? If I had the choice between you and a million things, I've always wanted, I would choose you every single time,” you finally said. Your cold hand touched Sukuna's warm cheek, making the man close his eyes and tilt his head, leaning against your hand.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I love you, Y/n. So much that it physically hurts me when I see you cry, I'll never do that again. I'm gonna kill myself if I do that again," Sukuna whispered.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Okay,” you whispered too.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀So with that, Sukuna slipped one hand under your knees and the other behind your back, lifting your body from the sofa. He continued to stare at you while you were in his arms, walking towards the room. Not once did he take his eyes off you— too afraid that if he looked the other way for a second you would disappear into thin air.

#sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna fluff #sukuna smut #sukuna x you #sukuna #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen fic #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #ryomen x reader #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #jjk ryomen #jjk fanfiction #jjk angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo imagine #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo satoru #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru imagine #jujutsu gojo #gojo fanfic #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[ohhoneato]

Excerpt 1: From the roleplay Rose Gets Tortured (we're so not creative sometimes, I know)

Plot: The Great Enchantress Rose was tricked into going to the facility of Wissenschaft (meaning the pursuit of knowledge), an institution used for experimentation of powered and non-powered beings, known as a place of great evil. Rose just found out her husband, Catheir, was the reason she was there, after almost a year of literal torture.

"Rose turned around swiftly, flinching as she hadn't allowed Constantine to fully heal her. "Explain what? How you tricked me? How you're the reason I went through that literal hell?! Did you ever even really love me?!" She was crying at this point, yelling at him. "Nevermind, I don't even want to know the answer to that. You're just like him." She turned away from him as she quietly said that. He knew who she meant."

"Rose twitched a little, tears streaming down her face. "You used me. It doesn't matter what it was for, you sent me to a death trap, to someone who used me and cut me open and destroyed me from the inside out." She was beginning to panic again, flashing back to her time there, with Derek and everything else. "From day 1 I was going through so much bullshit, existing was painful. I almost gave up! I gave up hope that I could get out!" She started hyperventilating some, going into a panic attack. "You- your acting just like- he did!" She yelled at him between frantic breathing. "I had to live my kids- dying in front- of me, I was- so scared of losing you!"

"Rose was vaguely aware of his presence, barely felt his hands touch her, no longer basking in the warmth of his touch. It had taken him so long to earn her touch and now. Now Rose wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to trust him again. She hoped this was just a hallucination, but knew it wasn't. She was home and her husband had put her in this position. She steadied her breathing a bit, trying to become conscious again. She wanted to- no needed to see her children, to know they were safe. But she needed to not be so broken to do that. She wouldn't show them this part of her, not if she could help it. "I'm going to see the children. I'm going inside to wash up." She said, semi-lifelessly. She struggled to get up a bit, shoving away any help Catheir would try to give her."

Ya'll, the way she just turns cold, this bitch compared him to her ex, who fucking got an angry mob to try and kill her for having magic. This is so damn impactful. She spent years learning to trust him to the point of finally admitting she loved him, recovering from the hurt of her first love. And this coldness, the wondering if he even loved her, this was her worst nightmare. A nightmare she was forced to relive over and over in Wissenschaft, since their resident scientist (his name is Derek, very important evil man) could make her hallucinate. She got through convincing herself it wasn't true. Only to get out and it is.

Bruh, I get chills when I read this still, the confrontation is perfectly written, but this scene is the one that hurts.

Also, I didn't even include the parts where her son is just getting pissed that Catheir hurt his mom and tries to kill the guy.

#ocs

[watermelonlovershigh]

Day in the Life of a Single Dad with a 2 Yr Old

This was requested by this anon.

AN: let me know if you guys like fluff fics & i'll try to write them as frequent as my smut & sicfics. also couldn't come up with a better title so... yeah the title is a lil iffy.

Things to help you understand this story better:

(Harry is a single parent/Harry is 25/Harry is a healthy eater/Loves his daughter so much)

Harry is peacefully sleeping in his bed alone. Covers to his chin, curled up on his side. That is until his beautiful two year old daughter comes barging in there to wake her daddy up. He shouldn't be asleep she thinks. It's too late. In reality its only 7 am on a Saturday, but to an early riser like her, he should be awake and playing with her. Or making her breakfast.

Her little feet pad over to her daddy's side of the bed. She can barley reach him due to the height of his bed, but manages to stretch her little arms up and taps on Harrys face. "Daddy, wake up." she speaks in her little British accent. Harry slowly opens his eyes and immediately squeezes them shut because of the sunlight coming from the window blinding him. "Daddy!!" his daughter says a little louder.

If his daughter was any older, Harry might tell her to wait a few minutes or go back to bed because it's too early, but he knows she's only 2. So he forces his eyes open again and reaches down to hook his hands in her tiny arm pits to lift her on the bed. "Why are you awake so early babe." he asks in a gravely voice, while placing her on his bare chest.

"I hungry." her tiny voice replies.

"Mhmm what would you like?" Harry mumbles sleepily.

"Sweets." she says innocently.

"I don't think so love. We don't eat sweets for breakfast. It will give you a tummy ache. What about a healthy fruit salad. We have some Watermelon and Strawberries in the fridge." he replies to his daughter who's straddling his chest.

"NO, I WANT SWEETS! I WANT SWEETS!" she yells back with angry tears threatening to escape.

"D/n, we do not yell!" her father speaks firmly. "We can't have sweets but we can have something other than a fruit salad if you want. Lets go down and see what we have." With a tight grip on his upset daughter, Harry gets out of bed and makes his way down the spiral staircase and into the kitchen.

This wasn't something new to him. Ever since his daughter turned 2 in August, she's been acting up a lot more than previously. You could say it was the terrible twos everyone talks about. Harry tries his hardest to teach her the proper ways to behave but it's been proven to be a lot more difficult than anticipated. Especially hard when he's busy all the time and isn't with her 24/7 like stay-at-home mums are or stay-at-home dads were. He's a musician. Not a so called musician that gets excited to book a Friday night at the local pub. No, Harry is a international pop star.

When he ended up getting a one-night stand pregnant, he told them they could do what they wanted as far keeping the baby or not. Harry has always been one to agree that its a women's choice. But his one-night stand wanted to have the baby. Honestly, you'd think Harry would get angry that she decided to keep it, but he wasn't. Maybe it wasn't the ideal situation to have a baby from a one-night stand that he had on tour, but he being the loving Harry everyone seems to know and love, of course tried to look at it as a positive thing. But when his daughter was born, his one-night stand got her minute of fame by saying she had Harry Styles baby and left. Abandoned her own blood. Harry had to get full custody of his daughter and ever since then she's been living with her daddy.

It was really hard the first few months of her life. A baby needs their mothers comfort and warmth and she had none of that. She never got the opportunity to breast feed or feel the love of her mother, and Harry feels sick just thinking about it. So Harry put his career on hold for a few months to take care of his daughter and show her that someone cares for her. He never wanted her to feel unloved. It was his biggest fear. That's why every day since the day she was born, he tells her how much he loves her. Shows her how much he loves her.

He did all her nightly feedings with warmed up formula in bottles. He changed her diapers at all hours of the day. He gave her baths every day to make sure she smelled nice and clean. And when she turned 1 years old and was getting more active, he took her to the studio with him and let her play her toys.

Just because Harry is a single parent doesn't mean he doesn't have help or support. He has a lot of help when it comes to taking care of his daughter. His sister Gemma babysits all the time for him when he's got something very important to do at the studio where he'd prefer if his daughter wasn't there. Harry's mum watches his daughter frequently when he has a interview he needs to attend. Even some of Harry's friends watch or take care of her when needed. Especially some of his ex bandmates that have kids of their own now. Harry's daughter has playdates with Bear, Liam's son about once a month. They're about the same age and their dads are friends so it works out great. His daughter has even played with Freddie, Louis's son. Not as much because Freddie lives in America but when he comes to England to spend time with his father they hang out. Freddie and Harry's daughter are quite similar. They were both created due to a one-night stand. The only difference is Freddie's mum wanted him. Didn't abandon him. So he has a relationship with both parents. Needless to say, besides all the things a mother can give to their child, his daughter has a good life. People love her, and once again that's all Harry could ask for. People and himself to love his daughter.

After fighting with his daughter about what to eat for breakfast, she finally settles for some Strawberry pancakes as long as they have chocolate syrup on top. Harry gives in and allows a little chocolate for her to have with breakfast. She sits in her high chair munching on the pancakes while Harry cleans the mess from cooking. Like washing the pan and wiping the stove off. When he's finished cleaning, he notices his daughter has stopped eating and is just making a mess with her food at this point.

Walking up to her high chair, Harry bends down and lifts her sticky body up and says, "Alright, time to give you a bath little one."

"No bath daddy! Me no want a bath!" she yells and attempts to kick her fathers legs but Harry grabs ahold of them in his big hand and stops her movements which makes her small body more angry. She screams very loud in his ear and pounds her baby fist in his shoulders, expressing her anger. Harry really wants to get upset. But what he's read in parenting books is that if you ignore their behavior and act like you don't see their tantrums, it will make it better and they'll give up on trying so hard to show their anger.  Because most toddlers have tantrums to try and get attention from their parent(s). By ignoring it, you're not feeding into it.

"I'm sorry but you have chocolate all over you love. Need to get you clean because I need to take you to the studio for a few hours with me today. How does that sound?" trying to make bath time and going to the studio sound fun.

After fighting with Darcy to get in the bath, Harry finally got her in the tub. He struggled to wash her curly hair due to the fact she wouldn't sit still, even after he gave her a rubber ducky to play with. Once he's washed her hair and chocolate covered body, Harry picks her up and wraps her in a big fluffy towel, then takes her to her room to get changed. He manages to get a pull up on her, (still trying to potty train), and puts a lovely red track suit on her with some Gucci shoes. Then he carries her in front of the bathroom mirror to brush her hair.

"Be good for daddy and let me brush your hair." Harry tells his daughter in a gentle manner.

As soon as he passes the brush in her hair, his daughter screams, "Owww, it hurts daddy!"

10 minutes later, Harry has brushed her locks and put her hair into some cute pigtails. With his 2 year old crying in the process. He's pretty good at doing hair because he used to have longer hair himself. Then he picks her up off the counter and places her on the ground, walking her to his bedroom.

"Can you lay in my bed while I get ready? I'll put on your favorite show." he questions calmly.

"Peppa Pig, Peppa Pig, Peppa Pig!" is daughter chants.

"Alright, alright." He picks up his baby girl and sets her in the middle of his bed. Then he grabs the remote to turn his wall mounted tv on. He scrolls on Netflix and finds Peppa Pig to keep her occupied. Then goes to his bathroom to get dressed and ready to head to the studio.

When he exits his bathroom fully dressed and ready to leave, he finds a sleeping toddler on his bed, snuggled into his pillow. Her perfectly outlined lips slightly parted. Harry can't help but smile. He loves his baby girl with his entirety and seeing her peaceful like this makes him so happy. He turns the tv off and carefully picks her up into his arms and heads down the stairs to his car in the garage. But not before stopping by her room to pick up her mini backpack that holds extra pullups and a sippy cup full of juice, with some of her toys as well. Her tiny face is stuffed into her daddy's neck and Harry can feel light puffs of air hitting his skin. He puts his daughter in her car seat and buckles her up properly. Then gets in himself to drive to the studio.

About 5 minutes away from the studio, Darcy wakes up from her late morning nap and whines out, "Me wanna go home and play with you!"

"I'm sorry but I have to work for a little bit. I'll play with you when we get home later. How does that sound Hmm?" She was not satisfied with her fathers answer and starts wailing. Hot salty tears run down her little cheeks and she makes exaggerated sounds to emphasize her crying. She kicks at the seat in front of her and balls her fist up as if she's going to hit something but unfortunately to her, she can't reach a single thing due to her seat belt. Once again, Harry just ignores her cries of anger and turns the radio on loud to block it out.

By the time they arrive at the studio, Harry's daughter has calmed down. She's still upset but at least she isn't crying and that's progress in Harry's eyes. He parks his car in a secluded area to hide from potential paparazzi and unbuckles her. Then shields her face form potential cameras and make their way into the music studio. Harry has to record some audio for his newest album so that's why he needed to come in today. They enter the studio where the rest of his solo band is. He prefers to record the instruments live instead of manufactured drums and guitars.

At some point when he was getting ready in his home bathroom, Harry had called his assistant and told her he needed to bring his daughter in to the studio with him so she could watch her while he's busy. She agreed but being Harry Styles assistant, it wasn't really an option. Not that Harry would force her but she's an assistant for a reason. To do jobs Harry assigns her. In this case babysit his toddler while he records a song. He doesn't have anyone else today and unfortunately can't leave her at home with a mummy like many other fathers can. He's just happy his job allows his daughter to be somewhat a part of it. Not in the spotlight because he keeps his daughters identity a secret from the public for her protection, but as far as her going to the studio with him or when she gets older, she can come on tour with him.

Harry's assistant takes his toddler and her mini backpack full of her essentials. They hang out in the open area, out of the way from his band and he himself so he can get what he needs to get done so they can wrap everything up for the album. Harry's daughter actually loves his assistant. They have grown quite close over the 2 years of her life. But because she's going through her terrible twos, the toddler didn't want to behave for anyone today.

About an hour into Harry's work, he's interrupted with a frantic assistant that has a screaming toddler in her arms. "I'm sorry Harry but she's been crying for about 30 minutes and I've done everything I know to do to get her to calm down." Harry isn't upset his assistant came to him for help with his baby. That's not the type of guy he is.

Harry takes off his headphones and walks over to them. He picks his little girl up into his tattooed arms and questions, "Love, why are you upset for? If you keep crying, you'll end up with a tummy ache."

She just hugs around her fathers neck with her little arms and says, "Want you daddy." Those words almost breaks his heart. Harry doesn't know where this sudden want for him has came from.

"You can have me all you want when I'm finished working, alright. I'll be done shortly." He struggles to pass her back over to his assistant, but finally manages. "Maybe she's hungry. I'll give you a few pounds to take her through drive thru at McDonalds. Would you like McDonalds d/n?" She just nods her pigtailed head. He would suggest for them to go inside, but the public knows what his assistant looks like so they'd know that was his daughter. The daughter that has her identity secret for now. His assistant takes the toddler to the McDonalds drive thru and orders her some chicken nuggets. Even through Harrys pescatarian, he still allows his daughter to eat meats. Then Harry goes back to work in the studio.

Around 2 in the afternoon, Harry and the two year old make it back home. The rest of the evening was a little hectic with a few tantrums here and there. Harry cooked them a nice meal for dinner at about 6 and played dolls with her in the short period of time she wasn't upset. Then comes the dreaded bedtime.

Harry changes her into some pjs and helps her brush her teeth. Then when he went to put her in bed, she started crying for the 100th time today. "Me sleep with you daddy." she cries out. There's a part of him that wants to say yes and cave in, but the parent part of him is saying no. She needs to learn to be a big girl. Harry really doesn't understand why she wants to sleep with him all the sudden. She normally has no problem sleeping by herself.

"No baby. You need to be a big girl and sleep in your bed sweetheart. I'm right next door if you need me though okay." His daughter clings to his body and cries fat tears. Harry decides to stay in her room until she falls asleep. So that's what he does. When she subsumes to sleep, he lays her down in her bed and pulls the covers up over her frail body. Then exits her room quietly.

Harry changes into some comfier clothes himself and goes down stairs to get himself a glass of wine. Then he sits on the sofa and turns a series on to watch before bed. Times like now is when  he wishes he had a wife. He'd even take a girlfriend. Just someone to hold him late at night and cuddle with him. Even have some type of intimacy. Ever since he found out about his daughter, Harrys game of sleeping around stopped. He didn't want to keep sleeping with random girls when he was becoming a dad. He was raised better than that. So needless to say he was lonely. In every way possible. Mentally, and physically.

Whilst in the middle of the show he's watching, Harry is brought back to reality when he hears a blood-curdling scream from up the stairs. He rushes to set his wine down on the coffee table and runs to his daughters room. When he walks in there, his heart sinks. The toddler is crying so hard she's gasping for air. It's a different cry that he's seen through-out the day. Unlike her terrible twos tantrums, this cry sounds like she's scared. Harry runs to her and picks her up. "Hey what's wrong my love? Tell daddy what's wrong." he asks of his child, soothing her to his chest.

As her tears slow down in the comfort of her daddy's arms, she mumbles, "You left me." Once again Harrys confused because she never acts like this.

Harry walks out her bedroom and goes to sit with her on the sofa downstairs. Then he turns her around on his lap to look at her face more clearly. "Baby, you need to tell daddy why you got scared or why you want me all the sudden."

The little 2 year old takes a deep breath and speaks in her little accent, "On Peppa Pig, they...they said kids like me are supposed to have a mummy AND a daddy. They said daddies can't love their babies like mummy's can. Me was scared you don't love me anymore." Her voice cracked saying the last bit with fresh tears running down her face and Harry has glossy eyes looking down at his distressed but beautiful mini twin. That's right. They look almost exactly alike. He thanks God every day for that because he doesn't want to look at his daughter and be reminded of a one-night stand that's a piece of shit of a mother.

"Look at me d/n. I love you so so so much. I will NEVER stop loving you." at this point he has to take a deep breath so compose his emotions, "And not all kids have mummies. There are a lot of kids who just have a daddy or some just have a mummy. But it doesn't mean I love you any less. Okay?! Don't listen to what they said in Peppa Pig. They were wrong." Finishing his speech, Harry pulls her tiny body forward and hugs her to his warm chest. He has silent tears running down his face. Both hands spread over her boney back. He thinks tonight is appropriate enough to allow her to sleep with him. She needs comfort. "Would you still like to sleep with me?" he asks in a whisper.

"Pleaseee." she responds while crying. Harry stands form the couch, turning the television off and abandoning his barley touched wine glass, and goes to his bedroom. The turns the overhead light off and walks over to the bed. Peeling the covers back, Harry and his daughter, whose on his chest, slide under the warm blankets together. Now she has just about stopped crying. Just little whimpers leaving her body, along with a few hiccups. Harry reaches over to turn the lamp off, leaving the room completely dark. He shushes his baby until her eyes slowly close and she falls asleep with her face burred in his neck and arms around his neck. Her short legs lay limp over his stomach.

Harry has a difficult time falling asleep that night. He feels sorry for his baby girl because he worries that movies and shows with two parents will make her sad and left out because she doesn't have a mummy. He just prays she will see all she'll ever need is her daddy to protect her and love her for the rest of eternity.

MASTERLIST & My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

#fluff #harrystyles #harrystylesoneshot #dad!harry #dad harry #dadharry #dadharrystyles #harry #styles #singleparent #harrystylessingleparent #comfort #terribletwos #ddm #daddydaughtermoments

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: The First Young Avenger —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

Words: 2,001

Warnings: Mild panic attack.

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next chapter

Listen to: ‘God Must Hate Me’ -by Catie Turner

x: Miss Stark Holds Herself Accountable.

"I don't know what to say. I'm disappointed. I'm upset."

"The parent speech doesn't suit you, Tony."

"Yeah well, the angsty teenage phase is widely overdone too," He said without looking at her. "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't, I thought that was clear."

"This is my fault, Tony..." Happy started quietly.

"No, the things you said to me this morning aren't the reason why I decided to scramble that girl's brain," C.C. groaned, rubbing her forehead tiredly. "It was my choice. I wasn't hitting her that hard anyway! Mr. Harrington pulled me up before I could let go and the hair simply came off! I swear I wasn't trying to hurt her! I just wanted to scare her!"

"And why on earth were you trying in the first place?" Tony finally looked at her from the front seat, brows knitted together. "You get insulted once and that's enough for you to go feral? D'you think that's enough?"

"No!" She clenched her jaw. "I tried to talk things out, I really did, I kept my cool but then... she said I was a freak."

"And you really proved her wrong, didn't you?"

"Tony, she's had a hard day..."

"No, you don't understand," Tony pointed at her. "She's stronger than she looks and far more experienced than any kid her age— she should know better than to start fights with another student."

"I'm supposed to let them step all over me simply because I'm not like them?"

"You ignore them— they're fifteen! The most they can do is talk behind your back and I'm sure you've gone through worse—"

"I can't remember my 'worse', alright? And even if I did it doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be upset about someone making fun of me!"

"You're allowed to be upset, you're not allowed to sit on them and rip their hair off!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll have to inform Fury and Rogers about this."

C.C.'s chest tightened with fear, but she kept a careless attitude. "If you must."

"He might take you away, you won't go back to school."

"I'll survive," She retorted stubbornly.

Tony sighed heavily, Happy entered the garage and C.C. walked out of the car quickly, she rushed all the way up to her room, threw her backpack to a side, and started to pace.

It was too early to call Wanda and Pietro, they would be training or having lunch, and she didn't feel like being scolded by them either. Fury would show up soon for sure, and he would order her to pack her bags, he'd tell her that he was disappointed.

"I don't give a shit about all this," She huffed. "I wanna go."

She burst into tears.

The girl made her way to the bed, she tried to dry her face and control her sobs, but it was useless. C.C.'s hands went up and closed tightly around some locks of hair, she was sick of everything and everyone, now more than ever she wanted to disappear, it was too much, being human was hard, especially when she wasn't one entirely.

Someone knocked on the door, she was unable to yell at them to go away. C.C. wanted to be left alone, but above everything, she wanted to be listened to.

The door opened quietly, Tony's cologne made itself present and she groaned, turning to face the wall. The girl hugged her legs and leaned against her headboard.

"I thought you were done lecturing me," She sniffed. "I've had enough for one day, and you're not my actual guardian, so..."

"I'm not here to fight," He took off his sunglasses and leaned back against the headboard as well, legs hanging from the mattress. "What did they say to make you this angry?"

"Is not what they said," She mumbled. "Is how they acted when I confronted them. Like I was stupid, like I was the one who was wrong."

"In other words, you cornered them and they played dumb?" Tony asked. "Yeah, people don't like it when you call them out in public."

"I thought the least they could do was admit they'd been shitty. I would've moved on afterward, I'm not petty, I was willing to ignore everything if only they'd admitted that what they did was bad."

"Really?" He raised a brow. "That would've been way too kind, some other person would've dropped the friendship on the spot. I would've done it."

"Yeah, you're not the first one to tell me I'm too naive, but it's not that I'm kind, or forgiving... it's that... well, let's be honest, it's not like I deserve better, right?"

Tony straightened on his place. "Excuse me?"

"I'm an experiment," She laughed through her tears. "I'm lucky most of my features are human, that I can blend in with the rest effortlessly— but I'm not like them. When Fury found me I was like a stray cat, I had injured innocent people to get out of my enclosure... what I'm trying to say is that I'm not a real person, so I can't force them to treat me like one."

"Copycat..."

"No like, I see the other kids, and they wear all kinds of clothes but I can't— cause I'm scared it'll give me a panic attack if my blouse gets stuck on a door— and I rather drop dead than to have a mental breakdown in front of the others—"

"Kid—"

"And I don't like cutting my hair cause I have a big scar at the back of my head— and I can't remember how I got, or why, and I hate to think that they'll see it and think I'm even weirder. What did they do to me? W-what am I?"

She held her legs tighter, unaware of her claws.

"I'm a freak. Everyone else chose to become what they are... I didn't have a choice, and I'll always be an aberration—"

"Friday, activate lullaby protocol," Tony spoke up.

The window darkened for a brief second before projecting a forest scene, out of the speakers she could now hear birds singing, and the distant sound of running water. C.C. looked up and her mind stopped, she spoke in awe.

"What's this?"

"When I became Iron Man, life didn't get easier," He explained. "You're way younger than I was then, I thought you would need help at some point. You're a tough kid, but as soon as you started school I created this protocol."

"I would've killed to have this thing on for the past two weeks..."

"If you would've spoken to me, I would've told you sooner," He commented.

"Well, it's not like you're around that often, is it?"

"True," Tony looked ahead, sighing once more before standing. "I'll call Fury, and if you want you can go back to the Avengers facility with him, it's up to you. I don't think he'll try to take you away, I was lying."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're not used to cruel teens and it was only a matter of time before one of them pushed you over the edge."

"Fury will be disappointed."

"Maybe, but I'm the biggest disappointment in this team, Kit, that's a fact."

C.C. gave him a timid smile. "You're probably right."

"I'm always right," He told her. "Wash your face, otherwise your eyes will get all red and swollen and then you won't look human."

"Did you hold back when you hit her?"

"I barely slapped her— the hair incident only happened 'cause my hand got stuck. Didn't even use my claws."

"But you threw her to the ground and use your backpack to attack her."

"Yeah, but as soon as I realize what I was doing I just kept her on the ground, I would've dropped it had she apologized on the spot."

Fury stopped his pacing in the living room and stared at her.

"Are you proud of your actions?"

"No," She kept her gaze down. "I'm not an animal, I'm a person. In the future, I'll refrain from acting on a whim."

"My agents are allowed to make mistakes... but only once. Make an error like this again and I'll take you back to the facility, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

The man watched her carefully.

"Agent," He gave a step forward. "You're certain you want to stay?"

C.C. looked up and smiled.

"It's either this or going back to the facility. At least here I've got things to do, back there... I'd be waiting around until the next mission."

He nodded, lowering his gaze. "I see you're wearing shoes now."

"They're not so bad," She moved her feet a little. "I had the wrong impression of 'em, thought they would slow me down, but I had no problem while I was kicking my classmate's ass."

Fury let out a puff of air that she would've sworn was a laugh.

"Midterms are coming," He started to walk away. "I expect you to get high marks—"

"Will I get a reward if I do?"

"How about gaining my trust back?" Fury offered. "Don't get cocky."

"They said what?"

"After you left, Lily heard your uncle as you were leaving, and apparently she heard him say you were on thin ice, that you'd be back behind bars or something—"

"So now they think the reason I left Mexico... is that I was in a juvy?"

MJ shrugged. "Told you they lost it."

C.C. laughed, Tony had said something like that, but he was talking about going back to the avengers facility, not jail!

"And they think I'm a wanted criminal or something?"

"They think you left the country to escape your record," MJ passed her the bag of chips. "Did you?"

"Oh yeah, I killed a bunch of people to get here," C.C. said. "That's not the reason why I got locked up, though."

"What's the reason?"

"I'm half alien and they wanted to run experiments on my body."

MJ snorted. "Awesome."

They sat at the first partially empty table they found, there was only one boy there, and he had his face so close to his phone he hadn't noticed them.

"Some of that is kinda true, though," C.C. sighed. "If I don't get good grades on my midterms I'm most likely going to get transferred to another school— or I'll be homeschooled until I'm twenty..."

"Were your parents pissed when they found out about the fight?"

"Mom was pretty pissed, but my dad was kinda expecting this to happen... I'm not grounded, though."

"Cool, then we can hang out after class, I have this movie I wanna show you..."

"Would love to, but I think I should focus on catching up with my studies first, I swear I can't remember half of what we see in class! I'm confident I'll pass most of them, but chemistry is kicking my ass..."

"Have you considered joining a study group?"

"Didn't you say everyone thinks I'm a wanted criminal?" C.C. said sarcastically. "Yeah, they're dying to have me around— bet they'll be making a line to tutor me."

"I can tutor you."

The girls looked at the source of the voice: Peter Parker was now seated next to the other boy, who was looking at him with wide eyes.

"Hi, Peter!" C.C. smiled. "Would you really? I should warn you that I'm really dumb—"

"You're not dumb," He said, now a bit shier than before. "I mean, I'm free to tutor you if you want, but I'm sure you could join a study group—"

"No, I think I rather study with you, if you have time," She said, moving her body so she could face him. "When can we start?"

The other boy aggressively whispered something to Peter, but the boy elbowed him and responded right away.

"Friday?"

"Friday's perfect," C.C. replied.

"You know Peter?" MJ questioned once they were out of the cafeteria.

"Not really, I helped him a few days ago," She replied. "This is just him helping me back."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@ieatpanicattacksforlunch​​​​​ @jesuswasnotawhiteman​​​​​ @23victoria​​​​​@siriuslysirius1107​​​​​ @greengarsstuff​​​ @itsyagirl01​

#twoidiots writing #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #copycat fic

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Go Go Let's Go! Let's Go! Dateko! (Pt 3)

⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI ⚠️

Warnings: angst, swearing, fluff, smut mentioned

Word count: 7,000 +

You wake up the next morning fully exhausted.

After yet another round before you both cooked dinner, you ended dinner with Takuro fucking you against the wall as you gushed around his cock.

You hadn't fucked that much since you were in your early 20s. And for a man in his late 40s, Takuros stamina was unmatched.

It took you an hour to pack up and leave because he had to fuck you again in the bedroom and on the couch.

"I seriously can't get enough of you" He says as he walks you to your car.

"Well we will definitely be having more sleep overs very soon" you say as he kisses you.

"Dont leave" he says, hugging you tightly "Please stay"

"Taku I can't Kenji will be home soon" you say as you places kisses on his neck.

"When are we going to tell him Y/N? He deserves to know" Takuro said

He was right. Kenji needed to know.  The last thing you wanted was to lie to your son,

"I'll talk to him tonight ok" you say as Takuro smiles at you and kisses you goodbye.

You arrive home grabbing your bag from the car. You hope Kenji isn't home yet as you approach your house. You see a light on.

fuck

You open the door and walk in.

"Hi Kenji, sorry I'm late. I was at grandma and gran-" you say as you look up to see your son glaring at you.

"Kenji are you ok?" You say with concern on your face.

"Oh I don't know mom. How would you feel if you saw your mother kiss your coach in public?" He says as your eyes widen.

"Thought I was going to grab some snacks but turns out I got a whole ass meal in the form of my mother making out with my volleyball coach! What in the actual fuck mom? How long? How long have you been lying to me?" He screams at you as you shutter back

You've never seen your son so angry as he is right now.

"It's one thing for you to come to out games Mom but for you to date my coach?? Seriously mom that's too far" Kenji screams at you as you stand there absorbing it all.

"I mean Jesus Christ mom! You couldn't go an date some other random man! Why can't you just get your own life! Instead you have to fuck my coach! I hate you!" He screams as he stomps to his room slamming his door.

You can't say anything. You're completely frozen.

He hated you. The words swarmed your mind over and over 

Had you going out with Takurō really affected Kenji this much? You feel your eyes begin to swell as tears began to roll down your cheeks. You turn, slowly moving to your room as you feel the tears begin to fall faster.

You didn't sleep much that night. Not at all really. You couldn't believe you broke you child's trust like that. You hated yourself and hated that you made him so uncomfortable. 

 You had to talk to Takuro. You sent him an early text at 5am as you made your way to the kitchen. You noticed Kenji's door was still closed ad you made coffee and fruit to take to your room. You return to a message asking to meet you before morning practice.

You get dressed and leave the house without a sound. You try to be as quiet as you can be as to not disturb your sleeping kid. I've already messed up his life enough I don't want to mess up his sleep you say to yourself as you get in your car and drive to the school. It's 6:00am by the time you arrive. Takurō is already waiting for you.

You get out of your car as he notices the tears spilling from your eyes.

"Y/N what's wrong is everything ok?" He rushes to you and pulls you into a hug. Your tears completely drowning out everything, including the preying eyes of a certain 2nd year manager as she approaches the side of the school.

 Mai stops when she sees you and the coach. She hears you crying and backs up next to the gym to listen.

"I'm sorry Takuro but I can't keep seeing you" you say as yu look at him with tears streaming down your face.

"I don’t understand Y/N I thought-" Takuro says concerned

"Kenji found out about our dates. Apparently he saw us with a few members of the team. He was really upset and told me I need to stay out of his school life" you say as your tears begin to flow quicker.

Takuro pulls you into a hug. He doesn't want you to be upset

"Y/N let me talk to him please I want to be with you" Takuro says as he pulls away placing his hand under your chin.

"Takuro no please he already hates me enough. I can't lose my son. He's right I should have never pryed in his life. I'm so sorry Takuro. I really like you but I can't do this to Kenji" you say as you back up to gave him.

Takuro is devastated to say the least. The women he cares so deeply for is forced to make a choice because he had crossed the line between parent and coach.

"No Y/N, it's my fault. I'm sorry that this happened. I don't blame you. If anything this is my fault. I should have been more responsible. You are Kenji's mom and I'm his coach. It was inappropriate" he says as he looks down.

Somehow it hurt even more to hear Takuro say those words. You knew he cared for you but he was trying to take the burden of your son's blame off of you.

Meanwhile Mai is both crying and furious. 

Could Kenji really be this big of an ass?

"Thank you for supporting the boys Y/N. It was a pleasure" Takuro says as he waves to you turning to walk towards the gym.

You get in your car as you start to drive home. The tears consistently rolling down your cheeks. You park the car as you completely lose your cool. You start beating on the steering wheel screaming and crying as you let all your pent up emotions out.

you're neighbors probably think your insane

After 15 minutes you walk in the house, noticing Kenji's door is open. You decide to leave him be as you make your way to your room still sniffling from your car melt down. 

You walk into your room and lay down. You've already called out of work for the day as you feel like you just mentally can't do it. You lay in bed as you feel the emotions take over again.

Meanwhile Kenji arrives at school. He's still mad about his discovery of yours and his coaches relationship. He can't believe you would do such a thing to him. To invade his personal life like that.

Coach doesn't say anything though out practice. Kenji figures his mom already has him in her side through this whole ordeal. Why wouldn't he be?

"Mai can you tell coach we need to get the jerseys altered" Kenji says to Mai as she watches coach look to Kenji and walk out of the gym.

"Tell him yourself" Mai says snarkily as she turns away.

"Mai just do it" Kenji says "i’m not in the mood today"

"Why because you’re ashamed you made your mom cry" Mai yells as the team stops.

Mai looks at Kenji and she's pissed.

"You know you have the sweetest kindest mom in the entire world and she's happy. But you can't have that can you Kenji because you're a massive ass" Mai screams.

Kenji is heated. He doesn't know how Mai found out but he isn't going to take being yelled at.

"Mai you have no idea what you're even talking about so just butt out" Kenji screams at her and Aone walks in from of Mai forming a protective barrier.

"It's ok Aone. I'm not scared of Kenji" she says as steps in front of Aone "you know what I saw this morning Kenji? I saw your mom and coach in the parking lot. And your mom was crying. Like hard core crying telling coach that she couldn't see him anymore."

Mai is shouting at Kenji as Kenji just stares.

You were really crying? And worse is he caused it? 

"You know Kenji your mom goes out of her way to do everything for this team! Coach shows interest in her and she likes him back and suddenly its an attack on you?" Mai is screaming at this point, tears flowing down her face.

The team watches in shock. They have never seen Mai this angry before.

"Newsflash asshole you're mom is allowed to be happy! She told coach she couldn't see him anymore because of you! She told him she didn't want to hurt YOU KENJI. Your mom is heartbroken and she's worried because he son is upset because she's happy? Give me a fucking break!" Mai screams one last time as she turns to walk out of the gym, slamming the door behind her.

The boys stand in silence. Kenji is shocked.

you really liked coach that much and you really cared enough about him to ruin whatever you and coach had going on?

The team turns as they shake their heads in disbelief at Kenji, even Aone shows emotion.

"You are the only one who sees an issue here Kenji" he speaks as he walks back to join the team.

Kenji walks out of the gym doors as he slides down the outer walls. He really was being an ass. He didn't care about your feelings only his own personal standings as the captain of the iron wall.

He got up walking to the coaches office. He knocks as Takuro directs him to enter.

Takuro looks up at Kenji and back to his paperwork. He doesn't sound good. He sounds like he's upset.

"Yes Futakuchi" Takuro chokes out.

Kenji clears his throat "do you really care about her?"

Takuro looks up from his work spinning around his in chair.

"I do but she made it clear that you come first. As a good mother should. You are really lucky to have her. She cares for your very deeply and she loves you so very much" he says she he swivels around facing his work with his arms resting in his desk as his hands lean against his forehead

"I see" he says as he crosses his arms in front of his chest "then I guess I owe you both an apology".

Takuro turns in his chair to see a soft smiling Kenji as a smile slowly appears on his face. 

The day seems to drag on. It's only 4pm but it feels like you've been in bed for days. You decide to get up and shower, planning to make dinner before Kenji comes home. He might not want to speak with you but you're still his mother.

You shower and walk to the kitchen to prepare dinner. You start to sniffle again as you try not to let it go into a full blown cry session. You hear the door open as you continue to cut up vegetables.

You don't hear anything as you look up to see your tall son leaning against the door frame to the kitchen with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

You smile lightly as you try not to cry more. The tears seem to flow no matter how hard you try to control them.

"Mom" Kenji says in a sweet voice.

You look up smiling at him as you wipe your tears "Oh hi sweetheart how was practice?"

He frowns walking over to you as he hugs you from behind. No longer being able to control the tears you turn around hugging your son as you crying into his shoulder.

"Kenji I'm so sorry. Please forgive me! I didn't mean to ruin your life. I just got excited and-" you say as your tears continue to wet his date tech tracksuit.

"Mom stop ok" Kenji says as he pulls away placing hands on your shoulders.

"Mom I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I was a complete ass to you. I didn't even listen to your side of the story" he says as he looks at you ashamed "you've done so much for me and I ruined your happiness."

"It's ok baby I overstepped my boundaries. I'm sorry" you say as you hug him.

"Mai told me what happened with you and coach" Kenji said sweetly as he looks at your shocked face.

"M-Mai was there" you say as your eyes widen.

"Yeah and I'm glad she was. She told me what happened. She told me you told coach you couldn't see him" Kenji said looking down at you.

"It's ok Kenj. Coach was ok with it. He understood you came first" you say sweetly.

"Well Im not ok with it" Kenji says as he pulls away from you walking towards your front door. He opens the door for someone as your eyes widen.

"T-Takuro?" you say as you place your hands over your mouth.

"Hi Y/N" he says as he goes to hug you. You hug him back as you cry into this shoulder.

"Shh it's ok Y/N" he says as you break from the hug.

"Kenji?" you say questioningly to your son

"Mom I realized your happiness is more important than my reputation" he says as he looks at both you and coach.

"Kenji" you say as you start to cry yet again going to hug your son "you're really ok with this?"

"Yeah mom. I'm happy if your happy. Now go get ready. Coach is taking you out on a date or whatever" he says as he rolls his eyes and waves his hand walking go his room.

"Really" you say as you run back to Takuro and he chuckles. "Yes sweetheart" he says as he leans down the kiss you.

"God I'm never going to get use to this" Kenji says as he closes his bedroom door.

You both laugh as you deepen the kiss with the man of your affections.

*2 days later*

"Oh Ms. Futakuchi! It's so nice to see you" Obara shouts as Kenji rolls his eyes walking the complete other way as you and Takuro stroll into practice hand in hand.

"Thank you! It's nice to see you too" you smile.

"I see Mai got through to Kenji" Obara smirks as the rest of the team laughs.

"Alright time for laps" Kenji screams clapping his hands together trying to avoid the inevitable

"Wait what did Mai say?" You look at Kenji as he hides his face then to coach who starts laughing.

Mai was looking down at the floor, softly smiling.

"Well our sweet Mai laid in hard to ole Kenji. She told him he was being an ass and told him that you deserved the world" he says as he grabs your waist.

"Mai" you say as your mouth gapes and your eyes sparkle "Thank you!"

You run to hug her as she hugs you back.

"Marry this one Kenji! I like her a lot more than I like you" you snicker as you turn to leave practice.

Kenji just smiles as you walk hand in hand with Coach out of the gym.

"Whatever you say mom. Whatever you say"

#dateko #date tech #Oiwake Takuro #justiceforthehaikyuucoachs #haikyuucoaches #haikyuu #haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #teammom #team mom series #team mom

[alchemania]

Barbara, and Bennett: Toxic Positivity (and how they each exude it)

While it's easy to spot negative toxic behavior, toxic positivity can be harder to recognize and pin down. In this blog, I am going to analyze 2 characters in Genshin and explain just how they show traits of toxic positivity. (I originally was going to include Jean, but I already covered her in an earlier blog so it'd just be redundant)

Barbara Page

Barbara is all smiles and sunshine, trying her best to ensure that everyone is happy. However; she does this to an unhealthy degree and often does not prioritize her emotional wellbeing.

#1: Forcing herself to always be happy.

Barbara's story lines state that she "only allows herself to be depressed for 30 seconds" and that after that, she basically puts on a smile; regardless of what she's actually feeling. She often talks about how good everyone is to her, and I honestly believe that Barbara invalidates her own depression because in her eyes; she has a good life and there's no "reason" for her to be sad, plus if she was sad then everyone else would feel down. She hasn't experienced anything traumatic, so how can she have the right to be depressed? But the thing is, she has: her parents divorced when she was young; and Barbara grew up apart from Jean, leading to a lack of a relationship between the two. While the divorce, based on Jean's story lines, did not seem to have a lot of negativity around it (from what I can tell Simon and Frederica actually split on amiable terms, they just fell out of love with each other), it still affected Barbara in a negative way and no doubt she is hurting from it but she's not acknowledging her pain. All trauma is not the same, this is true. But all trauma IS valid; just because someone is hurting less doesn't mean they're NOT hurting and Barbara needs to understand that her pain is valid and give herself time to process it.

#2: Lack of emotional boundaries

If there's anything that Jean and Barbara have in common besides both being healers, it's that they're absolutely terrible at saying no. In Barbara's hangout, she feels guilty for avoiding Albert and wanting to be left alone despite being emotionally exhausted and even wants to apologise, despite doing nothing wrong. Later on when her fans ask for autographs; she agrees, despite being off the clock and trying to take a break: Aether has to step in personally to get people to go away, and not only that; he has to lie through his teeth in order to do so. If you tell the NPCs the truth ("Barbara is currently on leave, please don't disturb her",) they'll reply "Oh she's on leave? Perfect time to ask for an autograph!" They don't care about her feelings; all they care about is what she can do for them and the worst part is that Barbara lets them treat her like this. It's so bad that the Knights have to constantly step in and rescue her because folks can't get it in their heads that off the clock =/= available; and Barbara feels like if she can help other people that she needs to; to the detriment of her own needs. She seems to think it's selfish to put herself first; but looking out for yourself emotionally is anything but. It's okay to say no, it's okay to tell people you're not available. Just because you're free doesn't mean you're up to engage and there's nothing wrong with that. But like Sister Victoria says herself; Barbara is too nice. She gives and gives and gives and expects nothing in return, and people take advantage of that.

#3: Undermining herself through constant praise of others

In her hangout, she tells you that besides singing and healing, she doesn't have anything worthwhile about her, and then goes on about how amazing you are, Jean as well. Barbara doesn't acknowledge her positive traits, and then when she vents to you she apologizes for doing so, since you were supposed to be hanging out and having fun. She puts a lot of her worth in comparison to what other people can DO, and not actual character. Barbara is a lovely person: she's sweet and kind and loving, but because she doesn't see herself as physically strong or powerful, she doesn't think she's worth a lot.

Bennett

My GOD, Bennett is like the EPITOME of toxic positivity.

1. Allows others to mistreat him and take out their feelings on him because he feels it's his fault they're suffering (essentially, a martyr complex)

Bennett's hangout is a prime example of this where when Royce got angry, Bennett simply let him yell until you step in. Due to his almost perpetual bad luck, he feels that he's responsible for the misfortune of the people around him and since he can't physically do anything about it, he attempts to "atone" by letting himself be emotionally assaulted.

He also puts himself in physical danger to keep other people safe (he figures since he's already unlucky, might as well suffer a little more if it means everybody else is okay, right?), and accepts abandonment as the norm since he's a liability. Bennett does not value his wellbeing whatsoever due to constantly being in danger and he seems to be of the mentality "If I'm going to die, at least let me die protecting everybody" and that immensely upsets me that a KID, who's probably no older than 17, is already considering his mortality.

#2: Not allowing himself to process negative emotion

Just like Barbara, Bennett constantly forces himself to always keep a smile on, only in his case it's more to keep himself from getting overwhelmed about his situation. It's heavily implied in his story that Bennett is afraid that he could die any day (and I don't blame him) and so he lives hard and fast because he feels he doesn't have a lot of time. He's cheated death MULTIPLE times (he almost died as a baby, and he almost died prior to receiving his Vision), and Bennett more than likely feels that one day, he's not going to get lucky enough to escape again; and he'll actually die. His life is an entire string of misfortune and unlike Barbara and her parents divorce, Bennett is aware of this trauma: he simply chooses to take it in stride and forces himself to stay upbeat. Which is just as bad as letting negative emotion completely overwhelm him, it's literally just the other ditch.

Bennett also seems very sad about the fact that his team abandoned him but he doesn't let himself process that either (if you respond angrily to the revelation that his teammates left he'll jump to defend them and insist "they had their reasons"- and that may be true, but that doesn't invalidate the trauma and sadness of being left behind because of something you literally cannot control). Similar to Diluc, Bennett is sort of an Atlas of his own right, but instead of carrying all of Mondstat on his shoulders he's shouldering his emotional wellbeing: he refuses to vent to anyone and bottles everything up because he doesn't want to be a burden; but in doing so he's only hurting himself in the long run.

(Thank God for Razor though it seems like he might be hanging around for the long haul and that makes me immensely happy. I could cry. Please don't let anything bad happen to him and Bennett they deserve friendship)

I'm going to go off the beaten path a bit here but, to all you guys reading this; please remember that:

1. Your trauma is valid, regardless of how "lesser" you think it might be.

2. You are not obligated to give yourself emotionally to other people if you are not up to it. You cannot give what you do not have, and if you're not 100% emotionally wise, you really shouldn't be taking on any more negative energy. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. If people can't respect that then they're not worth your time. Set emotional boundaries and don't budge for anyone. The people who are meant to stay will honor your boundaries.

3. It's okay to be sad! And it's okay to be sad and have no idea why. It doesn't matter if you have a 'good life,' depression doesn't care who you are or where you are on your walk of life and sometimes it hits like a truck. Your sadness is valid and don't be afraid to take the time you need to acknowledge and process your negative emotions.

Please take care of yourselves, friends; and be safe.

Have a good day. 💗

#bennett #barbara page #did i get a little choked up writing this? YES. yes i did. #seriously guys you don't have to be a shoulder all the time.. it's okay to lean on other people. ok? #genshin impact