#but it was a Bad Time for me

[buck-yyyy]

you know what, things may be kinda bad in my head right now, but at least i’m not fourteen anymore

#no hate to my fourteen year olds #any* #but it was a Bad Time for me #couldn’t go out in public without having horrible anxiety #had like two friends and one of them was a massive dickwad #and also just. freshman year is rough

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

#greek mythology #ares #athena #greek gods #dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise #on some level at least #man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11 #thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful #romi be like “i want him to care” and honestly good you should say it #also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now #my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming #i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one #kochei doodles

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m too gullible with people. I’ll have encounters and be like “aw they seemed nice ☺️” and then everyone around me will be like NONONONONO THAT WAS THE DEVIL!!!!!!!

[bioshzrd]

this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever

#talking #edit: i changed the caption you guys are so annoying lmfao #i didn’t mean anything by it at all if you think i’m equating being old with bad that’s entirely a you problem.. someone easily 20+ years #older than me is in fact an old ass guy to me sorry i didn’t realize the uses tumblr at age 30-40 community was gonna stroll up on my post #you guys are so sensitive my god #i call one of my closest friends and family members who are all 10-20 years older than me old all the time you guys need to learn not to #take shit so seriously and also don’t lecture me on my joke post

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!! #I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁) #it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (: #and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

[unpretty]

growing up the rule was we were allowed to be openly disrespectful and rude to dad, but only if it was funny. if it flopped then we would have to endure a lecture about where we went wrong and what might have made it funnier. or, alternately, he would just say, "oh yeah? well i fucked your mom" which there aren't a lot of comebacks for.

#original #i assume this explains a lot about me #one time i got him so good he told everyone about how bad i owned him at dinner for like a week

[lazylittledragon]

you know what fuck it we’re doing dadstarion

#bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #idk if this is canon to the dorianverse yet but he looks like a little hobbit!!! #this is a Long long long time post brain i think. since they’ve sorted out the daywalker thing #i don’t think he’d be affectionate but i think he’d be VERY protective #they’re not bad parents in the way that they neglect or mistreat him or even just don’t love him #i think they love him to death but you just shouldn’t give your small child a KNIFE #this one is my favourite sister bc she reminds me of robin

[liorlen]

gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that

#bloodweave #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #ihhhhhhhhhuuhhhhh bad idea to make a comic that’s not required for work #but finally fucking finished it. excuse the horrible lettering I cannot be fucked #tbh when Tara came in with that fucking ring of agility like #first rest I was like. girl why are you giving me something useful #and I rushed to find the most useless object I could #thank you Komira you’re a real one #also I’m so sorry to astarion for simplifying the swaggy gold decor on your outfit but I was not drawing that twenty times #also yeah this is like early act 1 no one knows about the netherese orb or astarion’s vampirism (supposedly) yet

[fallahifag]

palestinians don’t owe you anything

#like i shouldn’t have to say this but #we aren’t responsible for absolving your white guilt #please stop dming me weird shit it’s just going to get you blocked lmao. i already said i’m going through a tough time #your first response to that shouldn’t be #‘let me tell this random palestinian that i feel so bad about what’s happening i might *insert extremely graphic suicide mention* #please go to therapy. #like i’m a real person who’s dealing with real life things lmao #im not playing fr i don’t want this shit in my messages i WILL block you and i won’t read it #this goes for asks too.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[qweenofurheart]

the tim drake experience

#i wanted to explore his way of thinking so bad it’s so strange to me #i think he does things the hard way for the sake of doing them #and he probably carries a lot of physical and emotional turmoil which he doesnt acknowledge until it’s quiet #full time career in concerning the people around him !! 😀😀 #my art #batman #batfam #batfamily #batman comics #batfam fanart #batfamily fanart #dc comics #dc #dc fanart #tim drake #tim drake fanart #red robin #red robin fanart #stephanie brown #stephanie brown fanart #spoiler fanart #kon el kent #superboy fanart #conner kent fanart #conner kent #dick grayson #dick grayson fanart #nightwing #nightwing fanart #damn so many tags

[fruitsyrups]

This probably isn't entirely in character but it's based on an exchange I had & I thought it would be silly with these two

#i dont think im like jake but i took a few 'which AT character are you' and i got jake twice in a row #im embracing it. and giving him my back pain. #except for him it IS because hes old. for me its because of my bad posture. #finn and jake #adventure time #jake the dog #finn the human #finn mertens #my art #goodies

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

I'm listening to @re-dracula again now that it's all out, and Dr. Van Helsing has so many good quotes.

#dracula #re: dracula #food #I like this quote because it inspires me to be less bad at eating breakfast at a decent time