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hotvintagepoll · 3 months

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hotvintagepoll Hot Men Tournament rundown thoughts

I promised a final recap post and here it is! I'll try to cover the questions I saw the most as we closed out the bracket, reveal my ✨secret faves✨, and talk about the biggest surprises and turnarounds I saw in the brackets.

Yes, this will get silly.

ROUND 1

As I've mentioned before, I worked off submissions for who to include in the bracket, so if your fave was missing—that's why. I used submitted pics when I could, but many submissions didn't have one, so I tried to find decent ones in the couple of days I had to prep the first round (I didn't always succeed). By decent, I mean pics where 1) I could see the hot man's face, so not too much moody lighting, and 2) hopefully conveyed something about his vibe, even if it was a funny thing (yes, I showed Howard Keel in full Shakespeare get-up—I'm not beyond putting up a pic because I think it's funny). I didn't know all of these hotties going in, so some I had to guess with, but when I could I tried to pick shots that had a touch of the humor, class, or genre of the hot man.

For Round 1 and Round 2, I grouped the hotties by each decade, so only '60s actors ran against '60s actors, '50s against '50s, etc. Male beauty standards shifted pretty dramatically over the sixty years this tournament covers, and I didn't think it was fair to pit dramatically different styles of beauty against each other immediately.

I pitted hot men against each other based on opposing energies—hot vs cold, elegant vs rough, comedy vs drama, etc.. I wanted the polls to be interesting and I've never liked brackets where everyone is clearly in different "lanes" until the finals! I also wanted to make polls where I couldn't tell which way they would swing, so by setting matchups that felt opposite but equal, I got to be surprised by the bracket results too.

The only reason we had any three-way matchups is because the amount of men submitted didn't round to a nice bracket number. I don't like them generally and find them really hard to balance.

Secret faves from Round 1—I am a James Coburn girlie and knew he would die immediately, so that was not a shock but a bummer. I similarly knew Robert Preston is only magical to people who have seen him do His Little Dance Routines in That One Iowa Musical, but it would have been nice for him to last longer.

Surprises—Jeremy Brett was a last-minute add and I didn't think he really had a shot, so I put him in as a third wheel on the Sean Connery/Dean Martin matchup. Little did I count on the Granada girlies. (Always count on the Granada girlies.) The Elvis/Peter Falk poll was the first one to gain any momentum—Elvis was winning for the first 24 hours but then, my god, did Peter fight back. I didn't expect the Tab/Toshiro poll to make that bad a mincemeat out of Tab—people have different tastes, and I thought the people who like blonde sunny All American white boys might turn out for The Blonde Sunny All American White Boy. Sorry, Tab. I hope you've peeled yourself off the sidewalk by now. And, of course, I was SHOCKED and APPALLED that James Cagney would be obliterated by, of all people, Mr. Bing Crosby.

SHADOW BRACKET

The fervor of the Harold Lloyd and Fredric March people inspired the shadow bracket, and I couldn't be happier at the way it's gone. You were right, the original photos I had for them did suck. Cunty Harold Lloyd in his little life guard uniform was a revelation.

ROUND 2

For Round 2 I'd gotten a better sense of who was doing well and who was not, so a little of that came into play, but I mostly paired on vibes again. (I genuinely think this is a good way to make a fun, challenging bracket.)

Secret faves—Noooo not hot dilf Dick Van Dyke don't take my hot inventor dilf away uwu!!! (He was up against Marlon Brando. I would have been shocked if he'd won but for a minute there, a glorious second, it was possible.) I am also a big old softie for David Niven's particular brand of repression to the point of volcanic rupture, but he is one of many hotties who does not look good without moving and speaking so I figured he would be going.

So much beef—hey! hey you. I ran a poll asking if we are horny for dancers. Yes, was the resounding poll response. Where, then, did all the fucking dancers go? This round we lost Donald O'Connor, Fred Astaire, Harold Nicholas; Sammy Davis Jr., Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby all sneak into this category as well, by token of having been in the kind of big MGM bang-a-pan-and-put-on-a-show beloved bedlams we all watch at Christmastime. Round 2 voters HATED musical matchups. Except for one.

The one—SOUND OF MUSIC, the voters said, WE LOVE SOUND OF MUSIC. we will KILL the man responsible for salad dressing because of the SOUND OF MUSIC. every other dance man can die but THIS man dances a FOLK DANCE with JULIE ANDREWS in a GARDEN. I did not go into this poll with strong opinions about Christopher Plummer or Paul Newman but my god did I leave having heard all of them.

Surprises—James Edwards/Anthony Perkins matchup was a nail biter! Conrad vs Oscar kept me up at nights. Surprised to see Basil Rathbone survive against Sabu Dastagir—both very fetching, but Sabu had some top-tier propaganda. Cesar Romero put up a surprisingly stiff fight against Cary Grant (an omen for things to come).

Oh horrors—horror heroes surprisingly fell all over the place. I was sure either Bela Lugosi or Turhan Bey would sweep their three-way matchup, but Michael Redgrave of all people carried through; Boris Karloff went down against Johnny Weismuller (while holding hands with fellow fallen hottie Fred Astaire), but at least we got his guacamole recipe before he went. Delighted to see that the Venn diagram of the coalitions who support horror hero Vincent Price and funny lil guy Donald O'Connor is a circle.

Secret faves pt 2—oh yeah, I fucking love Danny Kaye and Donald O'Connor. RIP funny lil kings.

ROUND 3

For some reason this was the hardest one to make matchups for. Oh no, all the men are hot.

Secret faves—Michael Redgrave i love you SO much you're SUCH an idiot, how did you make it as far as round 3. I want you to sweep the whole thing but you should NOT be surviving this. I love you, here's a kiss, go home.

Surprises—Marlon Brando is gone! Errol Flynn is gone! Christopher Plummer exhausted himself beating the organic oreos man to death and goes out with a whimper. Beginning to actually see the roots of #mifunesweep as Tyrone Power, a hot man very different from Burt Lancaster, who was in turn very different from Tab Hunter, also gets swept under the wheels of the unbeatable toshirobus. Conrad Veidt finds that no amount of purring svelte eccentricity compares to the people who will fuck a young Lt. Columbo.

SHADOW BRACKET 2

Cannot believe it but Veidt loses this one too. Perkins sweeps and becomes Prince of the Shadow Realm!

ROUND 4

At this point I've set a formal bracket that I'm following.

Secret faves—this isn't secret anymore, but losing Jimmy Stewart hurt.

Surprises—The Gene Kelly/Jeremy Brett matchup was the diciest one all round, moving back and forth between the two by sometimes .01%. Far more surprising, however, was Cary Grant getting eliminated before the quarterfinals. Grant has never been my type, but he is famous for being THE type, so while the writing had been on the wall the whole tournament—how on earth did Michael Redgrave even get 36% in his matchup?!—seeing Grant go down was a SHOCKER. Other fallen hotties included Gregory Peck, James Dean, Harry Belafonte, and Sessue Hayakawa. Peter Falk finally met his match in Omar Sharif.

QUARTERFINALS

Secret faves—I don't know if it counts as a secret fave, tbh, as my horses in the race really went out with Stewart, but I do have a soft spot here worth mentioning. Here's my childhood dog, Keaton.

The resemblance is truly striking, and yes, he was short, fast, and not prone to smiling.

Surprises—I couldn't predict how any of these matchups would go down, but I was most interested in Keaton vs Sharif, as they are both SO hot in SUCH different ways.

SEMIFINALS:

This was such a good batch of semifinalist contestants. By this point I think we could all tell Mifune was unstoppable (though I thought Sharif might give him a run for his money), but I really didn't know which way Robeson vs Poitier would flip.

FINALS:

I wanted Sidney Poitier to pull a last-minute sweep out of nowhere, but alas, Toshiro is just THAT GOOD (maybe. I will admit that I find Toshiro's domination a little hard to believe, given the variety and hotness of all his competitors; the man is hot but all these men are hot). I'm still happy with how the tournament went.

FINAL MEDITATIONS:

Biggest shock of a dropout: the loss of Paul Newman

Biggest "you people have no taste": the loss of James Cagney

Biggest victory: Paul Robeson making it to the semifinals over often-assumed champion Gregory Peck

Biggest coalition who deserve justice: dancing men

Biggest ask character: vents anon (currently eating Laurence Olivier)

Biggest, uhh, anything: how many of you are here! I genuinely thought it would be me and 10 other people voting for the whole tournament. I'm thrilled it took off like this!

I think that's everything, but I'm happy to answer addl asks. And THANK YOU to everyone for your tags, rants, impassioned propaganda, beautiful pics, and love for the hot men! See you for the ladies!

#hotvintagethoughts

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missblissy · 6 months

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Little Things! Astarion x Reader HCs

A/n: 😤😤 I’m just gonna say it, ya’ll don’t have enough casual domestic relationship headcanons in these tags. To much smut. Y’all need some water, come up for air or something good god I love y’all but drink some fucking water 😂 So have some HCs of Tav and Astarion in Act 1. GN! Tav with no class/race as always UwU Also thank you so much for all the likes and kind words on my last post! I plan on opening my requests soon so be sure to follow to stay updated on when that happens. 💖☺️ Enjoy!

Was it even possible for someone to be annoyed… and pleased at the same time? Could a contradiction even exist? Yes. It could. And it baffled Astarion. Sure you had a pretty face, a nice laugh, a way with words… A shimmer in your eyes… a crooked grin that barely broke a smirk… The faint and unmissable sound of your heart beat… A smell so signature he could pick it up in the subtle breeze.

Just with the shift of wind and now he was tossing and turning in his tent. Huffing and throwing his blanket over half his face. Thoughts racing with you now, all the way on the other side of camp and no where near him. Not even in his sight. And still you were in his mind.

How annoying. This was just a misguided, maybe even a malicious attempt at forging an alliance. So why did he feel so… bad? His red eyes couldn’t close so he just stared at the fabric wall of his tent. A blank but also bitter stare on his face.

Out of all the books he read, and he read a lot, none of them actually showed him what real was. What was real passion? Not the mask he wore. What was real conviction and adoration? All he knew was what he’s done for centuries. And this was nothing but uncharted and unfamiliar territory.

So why was it your delightful and diluted scent in the wind alone just enough to send him reeling? He couldn’t know, or didn’t dare to wonder.

These little things didn’t stop there. During the day you’d bounce up to him with a skip in your step… that equally would send a skip right into his ribs and tore up his lungs. With big bright eyes you’d show him something random, something you found, something you made… it didn’t matter.

Just the way you beamed with a radiant smile the sun could be jealous of, it was enough for a snide back handed comment that could be confused for a flirt, “Oh darling, for me? You shouldn’t have, you might just be one of my most devoted fans,” Normally a line like this worked. Either it would send the conversation towards the bedroom or someone left standing alone.

Neither happened. You just rolled your eyes, gave a little laugh and said, “A fan? In your dreams,” And go on chatting like before, unfazed by his little remarks. You were an enigma to him.

Especially during times after a battle. It was always such a gentle touch, when you’d place a hand on his shoulder and praise him for his good work and efforts in the battle.

If vampires had blood to blush he would. He didn’t understand why he wanted to hear more of it, “That was a good job you did out there today,” or maybe it was the way you said, “You did amazing,” He could listen to praises all day. He never knew how much he enjoyed them before.

Let’s not forget, he could hear your heartbeat. Not yours alone. Everyone had a different rhythm and rhyme. For instants Shadowheart, her heart was slow, sad, faint but still beating away with life. Astarion could hear it, just the same as Lae’zel who seemingly had no heart beat at all until the surprising thumb of it came every hour or so. He could hear yours too. Rattle away within your bones. And he paid close attention.

Normally these ‘skills’ of listening to hearts were used to hunt out a target for his master. But with no master and a band of fools, he still used these skills unbeknownst to himself.

He’d listen with eyes glued to a book. You’re heart pitter pattered like any other. But sometimes it’d start racing, picking up speed. Not to long ago a racing heart was the first step into picking a target, since the heart never lies and when a fool looked Astarion’s way if their heart sang that song he knew who would be his unfortunate soul.

But no, this time he just peered from over his book and watched you stare off into the distance, into the darkness of the woods. To his surprise there wasn’t a glance his way or even at anyone. Your heart only raced for fear it seemed. Even when you looked at him or shared a conversation, the same steady beat flowed.

It was something little like this, these little things only he knew as they festered in his mind. They ached within him. He hid it well but it wretched at his organs and plucked at his fibers every time. It was annoying. It was… wonderful…

It was terrifying. The way his breathe would catch when you’d ask him to join you. The way he actually felt anger, as petty as it was, when you asked him to stay back at camp.

Or maybe when he’d hear just the sound of your voice, distant on the other side of camp, muffled, not even loud enough to hear what you were saying but just enough to hear your voice. How strange that something so little as that was enough to ease him into sleep.

#x reader #fanfic #fluff #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #astarion headcanons #hc #astarion bg3 #sobbing violently #I love this man #he has me in a choke hold but when I call him daddy we both cry

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d6volution · 4 days

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I don't know if this has been done yet but...can I request Yandere!Jax f_cking the reader into submission?! With like.. possession and obsessive behaviors? I don't normally ask for stuff like this so feel free to ignore, if it doesn't tickle your fancy UwU

I'm debating on making this into a little yandere!jax series hmm...

anyways enjoy!

tags: afab!reader x jax , choking, light oral, rough sex, possessive jax, cream pie.

Jax's eye twitched.

He was getting fed up with you, ever since you arrived here you've been acting like you run the damn place. That was his job.

Being stuck on his boat with you and the others wasn't making this ANY better. And it wasn't a very big boat, just a small speed boat big enough to fit everyone. Just barely.

For context, Caine sent you all off on another adventure, find the treasure before these nasty pirates do and blah blah blah whatever.

"Just hand over the map wouldja?" Jax extended his hand, still overly accustomed to getting his way.

"Yeah, and who put you in charge anyways little bunny??" You rolled up the map and poked the side of his head with it a few times before he rolled his eyes and gripped your arm, yanking you towards him.

"Watch it, doll face. Oh, and don't go running ta' Caine when your hand goes missin." He smirked and you jerked away from him.

"Wh.. Whatever just let me find our way to this stupid treasure so we can get out of here!"

Jax raised his hands in his defense, "Jeez when did women become so hostile, so much for docile and loving.."

"Jax I swear to god I'll shove your ass off this boat and make you swim back!"

"Oh yeah? Do it, .. I dare you." He stood up , making the boat rock a little and you followed suit. Gritting your teeth at his boldness.

Unfortunately your height made you look less intimidating, only reaching just beneath his shoulders.

"I'm going to wipe that stupid grin off of your face!" You basically tackled him and ... well, in the end you both fell over board.

Flash forward a few moments later and you both were soaked, sitting with your arms crossed like children as pomni and ragatha took over the map and guiding the boat.

"I hope you know your washing my clothes when we get back, toots."

You scoffed, "In your dreams."

The adventure wrapped up nicely, but you and Jax both opted out of the dinner to instead go dry yourselves off.

There was one problem though.. Jax passed his room and continued to follow you to yours.

"Just what do you think your doing?"

"You thought I was jokin' these clothes need quite the washing. You can't expect me to do it myself can ya?" He smirked, watching your face ball up as he belittled you right to your face.

"Buzz off, Jax I'm not doing your damn laundry."

You tried to rush into your room and slam the door but his foot caught it before you could, he pushed the door open without any regards to your safety causing the door to fly wide and open and you to fall onto your ass.

"Jax, you assh—" You looked up , still frazzled from falling, and came almost face to face with his crotch. He was still wet. Thus, his clothes were clinging to the large imprint in between his legs.

"See something ya like motor mouth?" He grinned and squats in front of you, causing you to hurry and scurry backward.

Your face was on fire.

"N.. No, just— would you help me up and get some dry clothes on!?"

"You're one to talk. it looks like your body doesn't like it when you lie to me." He rested his cheek on his palm, head tilting as he stared at your chest. Unfortunately, your clothes were sticking to your skin , and your nipples stiffened against the fabric, making it all too obvious that you were having more than innocent thoughts about him right now.

"Th.. That doesn't mean anything! I'm obviously cold!"

"Uh huh, keep telling yourself that.. what's the deal anyways, scared I'll show you the time of your life?"

You laughed obnoxiously loud, "Yeah, I'd like to see you try!" Oh, that probably sounded like an open invitation, didn't it— "Ah..!" Suddenly, you were falling backward, but you caught yourself by your elbows.

He was yanking your pants off, which wasn't easy considering that they were still very wet, your eyes darted from your pants to his crotch again, which was growing in size. You swallowed.

"W.. Wait, wait you prick!" You tried to sound more intimidating but it sounded like a helpless plea.

He sighed, "What now? You aren't chickening out, are ya?" He hoped not , he couldn't lose this chance now. This was just too good.. seeing you like this all scared and nervous it was doing something to him.

"O.. Of course not, I can do it myself.." He hummed in amusement, watching you with that shit eating grin.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck, what had you gotten yourself into? Even back in the human world, you only had sex like.. twice! And that was almost a year ago. But there was no way in hell you were telling him that.

You finally got the damn pants, .. and underwear off, still keeping your knees locked together.

"Good girl, so you can play nice." He grinned , your expression and sputtering made it clear that you were caught off guard by his praise. Too bad he doesn't plan on being nice himself from here on out.

He yanked you by your hips and immediately maneuvered your legs apart, he dove face first in between your legs and started lapping at your cunt without warning. His tongue was rough, long and warm.

The tip of his tongue nudged at your entrance. He was drunk on your taste already. Hell, if he'd give this up to anyone else.

You scrambled, but he was easily overpowering you, "J.. Jax, you.. bastard s.. staa..." You whined and tried to push his head away.

Clearly irritated he sat up and grabbed both your hands within his much larger ones, "Quit movin' or ill just fuck you without any prep, alright sweetheart?"

You stiffened up, fuck you can't let him win again. You puffed out your chest, which earned another grin from him. "S.. So what? I can take it, you think .. you think I'm scared or something?" You tried to challenge him, wondering if he'd call your bluff.

"Oh? Fine by me." He started to remove his overalls. Your heart was racing , breathe caught in your throat as his thick shaft flopped free from its confines, he was already lining it up with your cunt. "J.. Just do it! You scare—"

He gripped the fat of your thighs before he rammed into you, knocking the wind out of you. "Hn.. Hha—"

"What happened to all that talk, huh? .. fuck you're tight." He hunched over you and started to thrust into your warm cunt , slow and steady but you felt so full. It was definitely the lack of prep but you couldn't help but moan and whine in his ear as the painful drag of his cock made you feel absolutely dizzy.

"Hmm? Is this all ya needed, doll face? Some cock to calm ya down?" He chuckled and sharply thrusted against that spongy spot inside of you, causing you to yelp and wriggle beneath him.

"S.. Shut.. up.. hha.. fuck.." You sounded pathetic beneath, "c.. can't you do better than this?" Oh, you were digging your own grave here.

"Heh." He propped up your legs, your ankles nearly touching your ears. "Don't say I didn't warn ya, babe." His hips began to piston into your cunt which made a lewd wet and slapping sound, you were beyond aroused, juices coating his cock effortlessly. "Fuck, there we go.." He moaned into your ear.

You could hardly speak, gripping at his back as he relentlessly attacked your cervix with the tip of his cock. "pl.. please...!" You didn't know what you were begging for.

"Please what, huh? Screwin' with me all day, pushing me into the.. fuck— damn water. you deserve this." He panted, and sat up , putting a little bit of space between you before grabbing your throat. Placing just the right amount of pressure to get you tightening up around him even more.

He honestly did this just for kicks, just to see that scared expression again.

"Gettin' off to be choked too, what a slut. Nngh.. it's fine though, ya know why doll?"

He leaned back down, his hips never ceasing to move. Your foreheads touched, "Because you're all mine now. C.. Can't let this tight cunt slip away from me.. mnh.."

He knows you wouldn't even be able to leave if you tried. You're stuck here with him forever.

You whimpered and pleaded pathetically, tears forming in your eyes. It was too much, it felt too good. Your entire body was buzzing with pleasure. "J–Jax.. gonna..!" You gasped, and he finally removed his hand.

"That's right cum on my cock babe, fuck." He grunted and used his free hand to rub circles onto your clit, pushing you over the edge immediately.

You yelled his name in pleasure, legs shaking and cunt siezing around him. It made you too tight, causing him to blow his load inside of you, "Shit.."

He slowly pulled out and a few more ropes of cum spilled onto your stomach.

Jax looked at you, all fucked out and barely able to keep your eyes open. He couldn't let anyone else see you like this.

Ever.

Unbeknownst to you, Jax just latched himself onto you. It'd be hard to rid of him after this.

It was like a coil snapped inside of him.

He stared at your for a long while, you were half asleep so you didn't exactly notice.

"Hey, toots." He gently slapped your cheek.

"C'mon.. we both need a shower. We can take care of the clothes later, yeah?"

"Huh, shower.. together..? n-no that's—"

"Ya really pulling that card right now? For all you know I could've just knocked you up, now c'mon."

The bunny pulled you onto your wobbly legs and into the bathroom to clean up.

#the amazing digital circus #ask #jax tadc #minors dni #jax x reader #jax smut #jax x reader smut

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sowffskrungliez · 16 days

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All according to keikaku.

IM FINALLY DONEEEEE!!!!! This took me so longggg cries,,, there's still stuff I would change.... But I'm definitely ready to move on and so happy with how it came out 🥺 I love Obscura SO much!!! Its genuinely one of my favs atm and Oleander is my special silly guy that makes me kick my feet and giggle, so I wanted to do fanart that would sorta do him justice hopefullyyyyy. AND I also adore Rotten Raccoons posts to tumblr about the game and the characters <3 Ya'll are so nice and funny and amazing and talented. Thought I would pay homage to the famous and well used Oleander meme ehehe uwu Also heres different versions of it without some layers :3

#obscura vn #rotten raccoons #obscura oleander #oleander #smolsklz art.°○•☆

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theysaidhush · 11 months

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heyy i happened to see you asking for threesome related hard thoughts and i suddenly thought about brat taming with poly woosan uwu like imagine how teasing and mean they would beee <333

Woosan fucking some sense into your bratty mind (why is this so hot 🥵)

San is such a sweetheart but I feel like Wooyoung’s corrupting him ugh 🥵. Anyway here some mean Woosan for you fyp

Feedback are well appreciated 👀

"What a naughty girl, thinking she could get away with this."

San roamed his hands through your hair, gently massaging your skull before making sure the tie around your head was covering your vision.

"Hey, stop being so nice to her." Wooyoung tsked, grabbing your hair and pulling them roughly, the sweet touch of San long forgotten and replaced by a sting you were very much familiar with.

"I-I didn’t do anything…"

"Good girls don’t lie." Wooyoung sing songed before getting on top of you, straddling your thighs as you were laying flat on your stomach. "What should we do with this thing, huh ?"

He shook your head mindlessly, making you whimper at the sensation, before slowly starting to grind his clothed dick on your ass. He admired the red stripes on your skin, grinning at the memory of San spanking you again and again as soon as you all came home. He might act nice, but his lover wasn’t merciful.

"Ah, I’m not your thing, fuck you." You loved teasing them. Seeing this dangerous glint in their eyes, feeling their hands roughly manhandling you.

But as soon as those words came out of your mouth, you gagged on the dick that was pushed inside of it, tears feeling your eyes and broke whimpers stuck in your throat. "Ah~. Now, kitten, good girls don’t say b-bad words. Ah fuck your mouth feels so good around my dick..." San groaned, stroking your cheek before grabbing your jaw, making you open your mouth wider.

As Wooyoung got his dick out of his boxers, adjusting your body so your ass was at the perfect height for him to fuck, he smirked, entering your tight and leaking hole in one push, making you moan and wiggle under him, choking and spitting around your boyfriend’s cock. "This mouth is only good at sucking dick, isn’t it ? You’re so fucked."

San grabbed a fistful of your hair and pushed your head down his length, giggling at the sight in front of him. Your hands were roaming around the bed, trying to get a grip on something as Wooyoung was being relentless on you, slamming his dick in you in an almost painful way. You were so pretty. "Yeah, let’s fuck some sense into you."

#ateez smut #ateez hard hours #kpop hard hours #kpop smut #wooyoung hard hours #wooyoung smut #san hard hours #san smut #ateez x reader #woosan x reader

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targaryenrealnessdarling · 1 year

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No Pain, No Gain | Part 3 |PersonalTrainer!Aemond x fem! reader

A/N: you guys are absolutely feral for this and I love it, thank you legitimately for all the love. Once again 😘 @ewanmitchellcrumbs , hope you luv uwu

Series Masterlist

warnings: EVENTUAL SMUT, 18+, sexual tension, binge eating, mentions of breakup, cursing, dickhead Aemond, reader is horny af, English slang (soz), warnings will be added when needed

When Baela messaged you with this screenshot.

You thought, hell fucking yes.

What better way to take your mind off thinking about your personal trainer’s dick, undo about an hour’s worth of cardio and feel like shit afterwards?

2 for 1 cocktails.

Storm’s End was pretty popular so Baela, being the legend she is, booked for four of you to go. Baela, her twin, Rhaena, you and a mutual friend from university, Maris Baratheon. Her Uncle owned the pub/club so she used her connections to get a further 50% off on friends and family discounts.

God it was going to be a long night.

After getting ready in the living room, Rhaena absolutely hogging the Spotify playlist, all three of you buzzed on a glass of Prosecco hobble to Storm’s End.

“Rhaena, take those stupid shoes off” you nudge her shoulder a bit, which takes her off balance. She’s wearing heels that are far too big and far too high for her. Tottling around like a newborn giraffe.

She yelps a bit but glares at you, “At least I’m taller than you now, short-ass”

Hand on heart, you feign offense, “Who put 50p in you?”

Baela nudges you from your other shoulder, “Children, stop it”

Maris pipes up from behind, playfully squeezing your butt, “Where did you get this from?”

“Ow! Maris!”

Rhaena laughs, “Our creepy cousin is giving her personal training”

“Hey, you” Baela glares at her twin, “He’s not ‘creepy’, just misunderstood. And be nice, his dad just died!”

“Oh yeah cos everyone loved Viserys” Rhaena mused.

You give an awkward look to Maris as you enter Storm’s End, giving a name as they lead you to a booked table.

“He didn’t seem that bothered about it” you shrug as you huff off your coat.

Maris, sat next to you in the booth, hangs her jaw open, “Fuck you, look at these!” she says squeezing your biceps, “I’m jealous I don’t get to see you in the bikini”

Rhaena snorts, “Maris, your bisexual is showing”

“Sorry, sorry”

You must admit that when you were getting ready to go out with the girls tonight, you’d made the effort. The black cocktail dress hanging in the back of your wardrobe, that probably hasn’t been touched since the graduation party a few years ago, looked tempting. So imagine your surprise to find that it still fit, snug in all the right places. It wasn’t quite warm enough to go out in just that, so you pulled a coat over it. Even here, in the darkened part of Storm’s End, a sort of anxiety prickled at you at how low cut it was. You were usually not so brave.

It had been a while since Maris came to visit all of you, so the drinks came easily. And effectively being as cheap as water, it was easy to put all the cocktails away. One particular cocktail had you constantly sneezing from the ginger in it, but you were nicely drunk now, engaged in conversation.

Maris was swooning over a girl she’d met on a night out.

“You know when you see a woman and you’re just like ‘yes’ she is perfect” Maris swoons, slurring her words.

Almost in unison you all say, “No”

“Maris, we are hetero beyond hetero” you laugh, sipping the cocktail and leaning against Baela on your other side. She leans in as well, partially, if not more drunk than you right now.

“Okay fine, I’m not having this conversation with you virgins”

“Whoa whoa whoa! Who said virgin?” Rhaena furrows her brows, angry and you genuinely have to hold back a laugh with how loud she’s being as several people turn around, hearing what she’s said.

“Rhaena, I am willing to bet yours has grown back it’s been so long”

“Nuh-uh” you point to yourself, head wavy from all the drinks, “that’s me~”

Maris orders more, “Didn’t you and what’s-his-face break up like two months ago?”

“Yesss, but we didn’t have sex for ages before that. So if anything it’s me who’s the sad little virgin of the group” you say, polishing off your cocktail to go in for another.

Baela snorts, “At least until she gets a mouthful of Aemond”

You almost spit out your drink, glaring at Baela. The alcohol has made you more…morally loose, yes. But you didn’t expect Baela to say that.

“What the fuck Baela!”

“Oh come on, she’s been cracking out the vibrator everytime I even say his name”

Maris sees your bright red face, “Don’t” you warn.

“Oh my god, as if you have a thing for creepy Aemond?!”

You raise your eyebrows, “Okay, describe him”

“Tall, lanky, skinny…I guess?”

Stalking time.

You raise a finger, putting your cocktail down to get your phone. You quickly bring up his instagram and show her the one photo where his whole body is in shot.

Pretty much as soon as the screen lights her face, her jaw drops.

“Oh my god”

“Can you two please stop thirsting over our cousin, please” Rhaena rolls her eyes,

Maris zooms in, “Hold on, I want to see what all the fuss is about”

She zooms in, really taking him in and the both of you fawn over the photo for a bit too long. Describing everything. His legs, arms that poke out of the shirt he’s wearing with veins. Ugh. His neck, his chest, his shoulders. How tall and broad he is. Just everything.

“Would you not let that man destroy you?” you ask Maris, snatching your phone out her hand,

In your drunken haze, you freeze as your finger slips and double-taps the screen, liking the photo.

“Oh shit”

Rhaena raises her eyebrows, “what”

“I just fucking liked the photo” you drop the phone and put your head in your hands, vision spinning from the alcohol as well as the embarrassment.

The girls erupt in laughter, which isn’t helping.

You find the courage to look and see that the photo is a good ten or so months old. And the little dot next to his profile shows he’s suddenly active. He’s definitely noticed.

Fuckfuckfuck.

“Hey, you never know, it might be a good ‘in’ to get him to bang you” Maris chimes.

You’ve never felt more embarrassed in your life. And yet, you can’t help your mind wander at the possibility of it.

Would he?

He was pretty handsy last time.

But he’s a personal trainer, surely it’s wrong for you to pay him and bang him when he’s on the job.

No you can’t.

You can’t imagine…him bare chested pressed against you, hot, sticky and sweaty from the efforts, broad shoulders closing you into the mattress, large hands splayed across your waist, teeth biting at your neck, prying your thighs apart, rutting into yo-

“Hello! Earth to y/n!”

Fuck, you’ve got to stop doing this.

“Do us all a favour and fuck him” Maris muses, “You’re like in heat or something”

Despite the embarrassment of it all, the night continues on and Baela is far too drunk to carry on. So being the good friend you were and mother of the group, you pull her hand around your shoulder and escort her home. She’s wobbly at best and seems to laugh at the smallest thing, and even though you’re drunk as well, the situation earlier sobered you up considerably.

“I have a headahceee….” Baela moans.

“I heard you the first three times you said it”

“Can we get some painkillers, we don’t have any hic back at the flat..”

With an annoyed groan you drag her into the nearest corner shop, it’s close-ish to home, so hopefully she swallows the painkillers, shuts the fuck up and you can tuck her in on the sofa.

She waits at the entrance while you pay, talking absent-mindedly to a stranger.

“Baela, don’t talk to strangers please” you say as you shove the box of painkillers in her hand. The man she’s talking to smirks amused at the situation.

“This isn’t a stranger, it’s my other cousin!” she says, her drunkenness making her far too loud.

“Oh yeah?” you crack open the bottle of water you bought, taking a swig before passing to Baela, “Is that true?” you ask the other man.

It could be true. He’s got platinum hair, a smile that spells trouble and that weird cockiness all Targaryen men seem to have. He gives you a bit of a wink, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Unfortunately, yes. Aegon” he extends his hand and you tentatively shake it, still a bit weary. He looks at you like he already knows you, it’s very weird.

“Yeah that sound like a Targaryen name”

“He’s Aemond’s older brother” Baela says while taking a sip of water, accidentally letting it fall over her face and down her neck,

“Unfortunately, also yes” Aegon smirks, “She looks a bit worse for wear”

“We can thank Storm’s End 2 for 1 cocktails for that, can’t we Bae?” you smile, hooking an arm around her waist to steady her, she just grunts in response, “what are you doing here anyway?” you ask Aegon as he’s now found some interest in walking alongside you both.

He shrugs, “Just came out to get a few bits, do you guys want a lift home? Aemond’s parked around the corner”

“Yeah actu-” your mind works before your mouth does and your face pales a bit, embarrassment working its way into your belly.

Baela has that stupid fucking smirk on her face again, wide and giddy like a child, “Yes please! Y/n, this is your chance to get Aemond to ram-”

“Enough of that” you warn sternly, slapping a hand over mouth, but Aegon gives an amused grin, seemingly catching onto the subject of the conversation, “We’re fine getting home thanks”

“Don’t be stubborn, come on” Aegon says, helping Baela down the road.

A gnawing embarrassment curls in your gut. The last thing you want is to see him. And this is reinforced when you round the corner and Aemond is in the driver’s seat, looking up when he sees three figures. His eyes dart between Aegon and Baela for a moment before landing firmly on you, shamelessly looking down and then back up again.

You take a deep breath. Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him.

Try as you might, you make for the back seat, but with a shit-eating grin, Aegon makes it there first, under the guise of helping Baela in the backseat and making sure she’s okay. And you want lightning to strike him down right now with how fucking smug he looks.

A family trait, you see.

With an annoyed huff and without looking at the smug blonde in the driver’s seat, you get in the passenger seat, quickly pulling the seatbelt around you. Aemond doesn’t say anything either, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his thigh.

Oh God, his thighs.

Stopstopstop.

You can almost see in your peripheral the way he’s smirking to himself, thinking it’s all very amusing.

“Aem!” Baela shrieks drunkenly from the backseat, luckily cutting the already existing tension, “Where did you come from?”

Aem chuckles lowly and it might be the first proper time you’ve heard him laugh, he turns to his cousin in the back seat, “I could ask you the same thing”

“I found them in the shop, what was it, Storm’s End 2 for 1 cocktails?” Aegon laughs.

Aemond huffs a laugh in response, raising an eyebrow in your direction, “Training going well then?”

You only have to turn your head a little to face him and when you do, you regret it immediately. In the proximity of the car, with you in the front seat, it’s achingly close. You try to muster up an indifferent look.

“Don’t live in the gym like you do”

He smirks, poking his cheek with his tongue, and turns back to the road, putting the car in gear to drive off. And now his gaze is averted, you briefly let your eyes go over him. It was only fair, he did the same to you. And you turn away quickly with a sigh when you see he’s wearing fucking dark grey sweatpants. All those thoughts return at breakneck speed, the sinful, lustful ones you only think of when you’re alone with your vibrator and it makes you squeeze your thighs together harshly, and you swear you see a flicker of Aemond’s head move in your direction when you do it. Not that he shows it on his face.

Aegon’s playlist is in full swing and it’s not a long car journey, but it certainly fucking feels like it.

You’re just thankful that Baela is quietly drunk in the backseat, half asleep, so she can’t say anything incriminating about the desires you’d divulged in female confidence.

“Stop the car” Baela says hurriedly, undoing her seatbelt.

Aemond brakes, looking back at her in the rearview mirror.

“Oh shit” Aegon curses as Baela gets out the car like a bat out of hell to run behind the closest tree, halfway across the park. Aegon follows with the bottle of water you’d bought her.

In any other situation, you’d be glad to have a borderline sick and vomiting Baela out of the car. But right now, left alone with Aemond after the sheer stupidity of the night so far, you want her to come back as soon as possible.

Aemond sighs, at least glad Baela had the decency to get out of the car before being sick. He reaches for the gearstick to move the car out of the way of the middle of the road. And the smug bastard completely misses and his large hand makes contact with your knee instead. You can do nothing but gasp when he does it.

“Sorry” he murmurs without moving his hand.

When you look at him, he stays eerily still, his eyes flitting across your face to take in the dazed, stunned and impassioned look on your face. Your mouth seems to go dry, brain made of cotton, desperately trying to come up with something to say, but failing.

Aemond withdraws his hand back to the gearstick, but not before giving the flesh above your knee a firm squeeze, burning his touch into them, leaving behind prickling heat on your skin. Seeing that you’ve been caught staring at him for too long, you flick back, pushing your legs together impossibly tighter.

He seems to delight in the reaction.

“Have fun on instagram earlier?”

Oh fuck my life.

You turn to him, embarrassed, but his eyes are on the road just as Aegon and Baela get back in the car with a few rough and tumbles. You hate how easy it is for him to get a rise out of you like this, so you turn away and just watch the night life go by as Aemond drives the 5 minute route back to your flat.

Almost as soon as he pulls up, Aegon’s helping Baela out and you follow, just about to shut the passenger side door when-

“See you at our session tomorrow” Aemond muses smugly. His eyes glimmering with mischief.

Not knowing what to say and far too horny to even form a thought, you take Baela back into your arms and make for the flat, but not before looking over your shoulder to see Aemond’s dark gaze over the steering wheel.

Once in the flat, Baela collapses on the sofa, murmuring incoherently. Like a good mother, you put a glass of water and painkillers on the side table, pulling the blanket over her.

“Did you get railed?...” Baela groans, to which you bite your lip.

“No Baela”

With a disappointed groan, she turns and almost instantly falls asleep, aided by the dizzying effect of the alcohol creeping in. You smile at her, she’s always been like this when she’s drunk. Always the wingman. Or wingwoman, you supposed.

Halfway through taking off your makeup, your phone pings with a notification.

Absolute.

Bastard.

You wake up the next day shockingly kind of okay. Baela on the other hand is milking this for all it’s worth. Being a Saturday, you supposed she’s allowed some time to recover.

But when you use the blender to make a smoothie, she groans, “Are you doing this on purpose...” she groans, with a wet cloth on her forehead.

Forcing the urge to laugh at her away, “Sorry hun”

She lifts the cloth to glare at you, “Why are you in gym gear, it’s Saturday”

Your mind races a bit, a blush making its way up your neck and a familiar heat pooling in your stomach.

“Last session today before the holiday” you say, leaning against the counter to sip the smoothie, “only day free was Saturday”

Baela pulls a face, as if amused.

“What”

“Nothing”

You scoff, “Fuck you, I told you all that under the influence, it doesn’t count”

“Oh yes it does~”

She goes on and on and on it feels like, about how badly you said you wanted Aemond to destroy you last night. She seemingly doesn’t remember the finer details about how you got home. You wished you could forget. You can still feel the way his hand gripped your leg so tightly, the bare skin prickling up.

Ping.

The dreaded ring of a notification. And it’s like he can fucking sense when people are talking about him.

Dramatically, you flop on the sofa, showing Baela the text.

“I don’t know how many more signs you need” she reaches for her go to hangover cure, the biggest bar of chocolate you’ve ever seen and a diet pepsi, “I don’t want to hear anything about it, if you do though because that’s gross. Tell Maris or something”

“Nothing is going to happen”

“Uh huh, whatever you say hoe”

With even Baela’s belief in you dwindling by the second, with a heaving sigh you manage to plop into your car, prop your phone on the mount for directions to the address Aemond sent you and drive. Something curls in your gut all the way there. Nerves? Excitement? Nausea? Was it the Indian food…

You know the answer already but it doesn’t make it any better.

The car that picked you up with Baela the previous day is parked on a driveway, a black Mercedes.

Twat.

With a breath to stable yourself, you trudge with your gym bag to the front door. The front garden is curiously and meticulously tidy, grass mowed and in general looked beautiful. A stark contrast, you think, to the guy inside. For a moment, you honestly think why the hell you’re here. Or maybe it’s just scary how easy it was for you to just…go with it and come to his house.

He appears in the doorway mere seconds after you press the doorbell, making you think he had seen your car pull up, but this notion is quickly dashed when you see him. He leans against the doorframe on his forearm, having to look down at you with a bottle of something in one hand.

“Didn’t get lost then” he says with a smug smile. The embarrassment and those thoughts that were loud the night before come back at breakneck speed, making the heat flood your cheeks uncontrollably. You just hope that he doesn’t see it, but by the amused look on his face, he totally does.

You roll your eyes a bit and his smile seems to drop for a second. He removes his arm from the doorframe, your eyes drag over what he’s wearing briefly. It’s not the black shirt he usually has on, but a grey one with patches of dark at the neckline and middle, you surmise he’s probably already been working out before you got here. The image of his taut stomach sticking to his grey shirt will forever be seared into your memory.

Walking through his home is like walking through a show-home, as in, it doesn’t look like it’s been lived in. It’s weirdly pristine, smells like air freshener and detergent. And as you follow him to the back of the house, where you assume the home gym is, you can’t help but stare at the dark grey patch in the middle of his back and the way his shoulders move when he takes a drink.

There’s some stairs that lead down and you quirk a brow, “a basement gym?”

He stops at the stairs, looking up, his eyes somewhere else before he meets yours. His hair is up in a bun again, like the first time, with stray pieces falling out, “Yes?”

“How very serial killer of you” you muse, following him down the stairs, “Should I share my location with someone”

He huffs a laugh, opening the door and leading you inside with the smallest of touches to the small of your back, “Unless you want to”

Even the borderline ghostly touch against the small of your back through your coat is enough to make your brain feel like it’s mush.

What if he’d ventured down, using his large hand to squeeze your flesh between his fingers? Moulding the skin to shape of his palms?

“Drink?” he asks, strangely more chirpy.

Pulling off your coat you reply, “No, got my water, thanks”, you try and make your voice as stable as possible.

His home gym is actually quite big, lit by several spotlights since there’s no natural light. It hasn’t got any machines, but several weights and sit up benches, perhaps he brings some clients here sometimes? Your body shudders inconsolably at the thought of being laid on the sit up benches, flat with him looming over.

He’s filling up his own water bottle from the cooler in the corner, back to you, “So what were you doing on instagram?” he asks, and you think you can hear the smile on his face.

Taking advantage of him not looking your way, you adjust your sports bra. It’s a different set this time, since the other is in the wash, a dark rusty orange two-piece. He turns just as you’re pulling your hair up into a bun, eyes hooded and trained on you before briefly flitting across the new outfit.

“Stalking your creepy profile” you answer, disinterested.

He raises an eyebrow, “Creepy?”

“That’s what Rhaena said”

“Ah” he responds, “she would”

“Why’s that?”

He motions loosely to his eye that you supposed he was blind in, “Freaks people out”

You furrow your brows, “Why would it freak people out?”. You ask it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and he’s quiet for a moment, tapping his fingers against his water bottle in thought.

“Does it not freak you out?”

You shake your head softly, “No”

He doesn’t take his eyes off you when he takes a sip of water and it makes your thighs feel somewhat like jelly.

“Right, stretches”

Oh boy.

It’s almost as bad as the first time you’ve done them together, except he’s extra handsy, smirking with the knowledge that you were talking about him in your spare time. This time, when you’re doing the 60 second planks on the mat, his hand stays there on your back, moving every now and then slowly between your shoulders, to the nape of your neck. And there’s no mirror in his home gym, so you’re only hoping and praying that he’s not taking this opportunity to look at you in the skin tight leggings too closely.

Although secretly, you kind of hope he is.

“That’s it...” he praises lowly, and it takes you so off guard that you think you might just crack. But you resort to just biting your lip, trapping the skin between your teeth painfully.

Squats are genuinely no better. He stays behind you the entire time, achingly close with his hands on his hips and everytime you go down to do one, you can’t help the desperate thrum of anticipation in your belly as you make contact only very slightly with his leg.

Once you’re done with stretching and core, with the lack of windows in the room you’re in, it’s very hot and you wipe your forehead a little, slightly out of breath as you take a sip of water. Feeling as if you are being watched you turn your head slightly and see him sat on the sit-up bench watching you intensely.

“Shit” you curse as some water leaks out of the bottle onto your chest and right down your sports bra. You try and wipe it away quickly, your chest already glistening with sweat. But when you look up, you see his eyes quickly flit from there to your eyes, darkened. One of his thighs jitters as he bounces his leg, as if aggravated.

“Sorry” you breathe, grounding yourself, “what next” you ask, desperately trying to lighten the tension.

“Bench press” he responds, and there’s that same tone he used last time. The tone that he used after literally scaring your ex away. But you swallow thickly and nod and sit where he once was.

He explains how to do it and you take it all in a bit until you realise he’s going to be standing right behind you and your cheeks flood with heat again, tingling down the back of your neck. He just stands there as he usually does, but from this angle (and it’s very difficult to not look at this point) your head is right at his waistline and had there not been 30kg combined in your arms right now, you probably would have given more of a reaction to it.

But you do your reps, with him watching in silence, seeing you break a sweat. As far as you are aware, his eyes forever on your form, but really it’s zoned in on that shadow that disappears down your sports bra and at the exposed bit of midriff beneath that to your leggings.

As you’re doing the last few, he rounds the side and places his hand flat on your ribs, right under your sports bra’s hem and you freeze, an involuntary gasp escapes.

When you meet eyes, he’s already regarding you.

“Relax”

Licking your lips nervously, you nod and breathe in and out deeply. But he never takes his hand off you, almost making sure you’re doing what he says.

The next few reps are probably the most difficult. Never being able to stop thinking about his fingers on your bare skin, his thumbs drawing very very small circles on the hot flesh there. The air feels charged, as if one wrong move could ignite something, like striking a flame near gas.

He moves his hand lower to your abdomen, making you freeze and look at him again. There’s no smug smile on his face, just a hooded, promiscuous expression, one that makes a deep, blurry thrum right where his hand is.

“Push here”

You try and do as he says for the last few, but it’s hard with the way he’s staring at you. And when you let out a huff and put the weights back where they belong on the rack, he nods slightly.

“Good girl”

He sees the way your face flushes this time, but makes no comment on it. Instead he rights himself to stand, extending his toned arm to you to help you up, not breaking the intensity of his look.

It really does happen too quickly to know who did it. All you remember is taking his hand to pull yourself up. The next. Both his hands are around your waist, nearly encompassing them with how big they are, and the way they slide against your glistening skin rouses you in places you didn’t even know existed.

There’s not even time to say anything when he locks his lips with yours, pushing you harshly against the wall with a thud that makes you gasp into his hot mouth. It’s messy, chaotic, a clashing of desperate lips and when he brushes your lower lip with his tongue it’s embarrassing how good it feels. He pushes you against the wall so harshly by your waist that you think he’s trying to embed you into it, hands clasped tightly around you in frustration, his fingertips creating marks where they are fixed.

Amongst all this, he presses his firm, lithe body against yours and you let out the quietest of moans with the realisation that he is desperately hard beneath the sweatpants he’s wearing, pressing it into your thigh.

“Fuck…” he breathes as his hand snakes up your front to take hold of your jaw, kissing with such need that it almost feels like too much.

All this time your hands have had no idea what to do, but one slides to the nape of his neck, gripping harshly and completely destroying the style his hair had been in. The other runs over the slick skin of his forearm, tracing the veins there, and how they seem to thrum with every beat of his heart, faster with the desire that courses through them.

“Fucking perfect…”

Words fail you at this point, his fingers digging into the sides of your face make you realise he’s keeping you right where he wants you, attacking your mouth with his in a way that’s not really happened to you before. And that little breathy moan escapes once again when his teeth nip at your lip as he pulls away, immediately dipping to your neck to kiss and suck the delicate skin there, his hips pushing against yours with hunger.

You wonder what his hands would feel like wrapped around your neck, squeezing gently, or maybe not so gently. If his hands would just go that bit lower…if your hands just dipped beneath the hem of his shirt…down the sweatpants…

Buzz buzz.

Snapped out of this hot, heavy trance, Aemond steps back a little and you duck underneath his arm, not daring to look back at him at the fear you might stay and fuck up this entirely professional relationship. You desperately look at your phone, a missed call from Baela.

But that’s all the excuse you need, you hurriedly pack up your stuff, “S-sorry…I..” you start but with no vocabulary to actually finish. Your core is still spurring with delight with what you’ve just done, taking all the power from your brain.

Looking back briefly, he looks a bit dishevelled but still ridiculously too good, flushed in the face and his chest gently heaving, and with that ghost of a smile on his face. Not smug this time, to your delight.

“Um, sorry I have to go…thanks, Aemond” you excuse promptly. Even the very swift walk back to the car is a blur. It’s only when you’re in the driver’s seat, intensely gripping the steering wheel that it all slots into place.

Your fingers go to your lips and all the places his hands had touched you. They’re on fire. Begging for more. And you feel your breath in your lungs stutter at the memory of it. Aemond stands at his window, watching with acute amusement that you’re still sat there, absolutely dumbstruck by what’s happened.

Baela pings you in the wake of her missed call.

taglist (sorry if I missed anyone, I’m crap, bold means I couldn’t tag)

@mrsgrwy @lovelykhaleesiii@urmomsgirlfriend1@iiamthehybrid @namelesslosers @chainsawsangel @warmfieldofgrass @mynameisbaby9 @afro-hispwriter @tempo-rary-fix @toodlesxcuddles @definitelynotsatans @svtansdaddyx @tssf-imagines @darkenchantress @vrtualfairy @fan-goddess @skikikikiikhhjuuh @helaenaluvr @sarahkimtae @blackxisxmyxcolour @castellomargot @girlwith-thepearlearring @julczimozart @amazingdisneyfansblog @slutforaemond@thedamewithabook@Iiamthehybrid@sahvlren@Whoknows333@cosmoeticss

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showtoonzfan · 6 months

Text

Hey it’s been a bit! The Mammon episode finally came out, so here’s my review!

Pros:

- The sign language scene was cute. Kinda weird that a kid was seeing a show that was clearly for adults but I love me some representation so it gets a pass.

- Despite Blitz not really needing to be in this episode, I thank god he had little screen time and more time was dedicated to Fizz.

- The fish ladies (despite having wonky color palettes that made them EXTREMELY hard to look at) were cute.

Cons:

- Mammon is so flat and uninteresting but I don’t know what I expected from a creator who always hypes her characters up that always end up being one of the three go-to personalities she picks for her male characters. In Mammon’s case he’s just a loud mouth cursing bum so way to ruin another Deadly Sin and make them boring af, moving on.

- I don’t like how Mammon and Fizz’s relationship are similar of Val and Angel’s, Viv keeps recycling stories, characters and plot lines ect, it makes Angel’s story for Hazbin really predictable/underwhelming and not exciting to look forward too especially since we already have the “mafia bad daddy” aspect to him too that they pulled for Moxxie. I guess the idea of Mammon being a controlling ruler is fine on paper but not much is done with it, Fizz just quits in the end like it was easy with zero consequences so what was all that build up for.

- Fizz himself once again feels REALLY out of character, he’s just too soft compared to how he was introduced in season 1. He’s constantly nervous in this episode and insecure, as well as walking on eggshells, and even in Oops he wasn’t THIS sensitive. I’m all for characters struggling and being kicked down but it has to make sense and not feel forced, and once again it feels like Viv is trying way to hard to make the characters she once introduced as snarky assholes to uwu innocent babies. I refuse to believe Fizz was actually INTIMIDATED by this random geeky imp who insulted him, as well as the fish ladies whom he was weirdly nice and welcoming to. It’s also weird seeing how uncomfortable/nervous he was around his fans when I thought the whole point was that he LOVED praise and loved being famous, at least that was season 1 Fizz. Now he feels retconned. Seeing him say “I just need this gig” is weird too, the explanation to why he went through all of this makes no sense, Fizz still has Ozzie and is famous in the Lust ring, and I understand Mammon is his idle but to go through all that abuse for so long for something that could have been so easily avoided feels forced to fit the plot, but it also makes Fizz look dumb.

- There’s confusing lore stuff regarding Mammon and Ozzie, and it makes me realize that Viv should have picked ONE storyline aka ONE Seven Deadly sin to go with Fizz’s story because this is getting mixed up. Fizz acts like if he looses this completion, he looses everything, which confused the heck out of me because no he wouldn’t have? First of all, Ozzie is a fucking powerful sin, how would you loose him? Second, from what we know from season 1, Fizz is a jester who performs at Ozzie’s club. It was Ozzie who built the sex robots across the rings of hell, NOT Mammon, and in season 2 we see that Fizz is under Ozzie’s care and lives in his house. Yet for some weird reason Mammon also represents Fizz and uses him for profit, but it’s not really explained in a way that makes sense, like Love’s art had said in her Fizz redesign video, Fizz’s job is really confusing on what exactly he does. Having both Ozzie and Mammon represent him overcomplicates things and the show did a poor job at explaining how this goes.

- Once again Viv dumps trauma and struggle onto her characters without building it up first. When did Fizz ever give off the impression that he was being controlled or abused, or even that he was so insecure and constantly walked on eggshells to be perfect. In Oops he was happy to be in the spotlight and happy to get the attention, he bragged to Blitz about how successful he was. He seemed happy to perform for Mammon and talked of him highly, and now you’re pulling an Angel Dust situation where he’s expected to be perfect 24/7 and it gets to him emotionally, while also being someone who’s physically and mentally abused. Yet another season 2 episode that wasn’t planned, same as how Millie wanting to feel important wasn’t planned, same as how Stolas seeing Blitz as genuine love wasn’t planned. Different episode, same issues.

- I’m so done with the Hell lore bro, this place officially has no rules and demons can just do anything without consequences. There’s no class system, there’s no rankings, there’s no power dynamics, screw anything that Viv says. There was no fucking reason why Ozzie and Fizz’s relationship needed to be a secret. There was no reason showing Ozzie threatening his workers to not tell anyone about his love life if he was just going to admit it to EVERYONE THE NEXT EPISODE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER SIN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME— what was the POINT. What is the point of Stolas and Blitz’s conflict. What is the point of Stella being classist. What is the point of these class systems and rules if you can just announce that you technically broke a hell rule and no one gives a fuck and you get off scott free. Mammon telling Ozzie “you’ll regret that” like a cartoon villain doesn’t do anything either. What is he ganna do? Tell Lucifer, the character that canonically won’t appear in HB because the sins won’t appear in HH? If Lucifer rules over the sinners, who the fuck is in charge for the rest of Hell. Where’s the authority? And Mammon is just ganna come back for another episode to give the gang trouble cause lord knows we don’t have enough fucking villains already.

- It feels weird that Ozzie would just sit back while someone whom he knows is a piece of shit is treating his loved one badly. I get he was concerned but you’d think one of the seven deadly sins would have more power and authority.

- I was expecting some big gross bug-like thing to appear when Mammon was transforming into his final form, only for it to the exact same design but with small extra eyes and a spider lower half that isn’t even visible in most shots….GOD VIV.

Watching this episode also made me remind myself that this is supposed to be Hell. Seeing Fizz feel better and stand up for himself was sweet but these soft lessons and morals don’t belong in a show like this, and it’s extra aggravating regarding Viv’s double standard, how she can just pick and choose which characters she wants to be evil and which characters are saints. Overall not anywhere near the worst episode of season 2, but I am officially done with Helluva Boss so-

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #anti vivziepop #helluva boss

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pinejayy · 10 months

Note

Can I request headcanons for how Akaza, Gyokko, and the Hantengu clones react to an s/o who’s a shapeshifter? (EX. If they get into an argument, their s/o is like: “Well fine! Be that way!” Then proceeds to turn into a bird and flies away.)

Love your writing btw! 🫶

sure thing! thank you uwu I hope you enjoy these!! not proof read, pls let me know if there's any mistakes uwu

Akaza, Gyokko and Hantengu Clones reacting to their S/O Flying away from an argument.

Akaza

First of all he's is really impressed that you can shapeshift into anything you desire! But what he doesn't like it whenever you guys have an argument you can fly away and ignore him.

One night you guys had a heated discussion to the point where you guys were yelling at each other.

The argument was about him always complaining about Douma, you knew your boyfriend didn't like him. But that's all he talked about..and it honestly got on your nerves.

"Omg Shut Up! I know you don't like the guy! But why are you always talking about him!" You snap at him.

It surprised him, and of course he got upset and snapped back at you. To the point where you didn't wanna see him.

"You know what! I can't deal with you right now bye!" And before he could reply you turned into a bird and flew off.

Leaving him there yelling at you as you flew off. "COME BACK HERE! PLEASE DARLING."

Gyokko

You know Gyokko is an envious demon, and he's honestly jealous that you can shapeshift into anything you want, he wants to be able to do that! And his attitude is the cause of most of your guy's fights.

But today he was really pissing you off, he kept on bugging you that you were blessed with amazing shape shifting powers and not him! He hated it... no one should be above him!

You tried to ignore him but it was so hard with his voice down your ears.

"Dude shut the heck up!" You snapped back at him.

Which left him stunned, you never really snapped back to him and which add more fuel to his pity anger.

That's when you decided enough was enough. "You know what, fine be like that! I'm out." Which you turned into a bird and flew away from the Demon.

Gyokko was there so shocked but he started to throw a tantrum. "COME BACK HERE YOU IDIOTIC THING!"

Hantengu Clones

Dating the four clones was a blessing but also a pain in the ass considering they all think and act differently. But you did love all four of them, but you did have your share arguments with them, and of course they would react differently.

Sekido

Now he's the one who's always up your ass, and you don't know why but it's honestly annoying. You could be doing nothing and he'll get mad and if you're doing something he'll get mad because apparently "you're too weak to do anything by yourself."

Today the red eyed demon was more pissed than usual and he decided to take it on you. And today was the day you weren't in the mood for his anger.

"God you're so weak and useless Y/N! I wish sometimes you could leave!" He snapped at you.

To which you gave him a smile. "Fine then! So be it Goodbye." You say and fly away as a bird, leaving him shocked>

"GET BACK HERE! I DIDN'T MEAN FOR REALS! IDIOT!" As he watched you fly away he was stomping around the place and kicking everything around which left the other clones shaking in fear since he's never been that mad.

Karaku

He was more of the laid back from his other clones which was nice, but he was also most aggressive one when it came to you. He always wanted you to his self which lead to the other clones yelling at him. It was nice to spend time with him but you also had three other demons to think about.

Today he really wanted to spend time with you but of course you said no since you promised the day to Aizetsu. To which made him upset.

"Come on Y/N, I wanna spend time with you! Forget about that cry baby."

You rolled your eyes and he got mad, and I mean very mad to the point where he grabbed your arm and started to say hurtful things to you. To which you slapped him and spoke up. "I said NO! You know I need space!" You say and turn into a bird and fly off.

Leaving him stunned. "WAIT NO COME BACk!" He yelled out, which left the clones without you for a few days which they wanted to beat him up for.

Aizetsu

Now he was more of the thoughtful and kind one from the others, and you fought with him rarely but that doesn't mean you had your disagreements with him. He was also the most overprotected which overwhelmed you sometimes.

Today he was on your nerves...you loved him but you also can take care of yourself, and it honestly hurt your feelings that he thought that you were too weak.

"Come on Y/N...please you can't go alone! Please let me go with you...I need to protect you, you can't do it!" He said with a small whimper, which made you frown. You asked him if he thought you were weak.

And his reply put you on the edge. "Not weak, just fragile! I must protect you." And you sighed. "Wow...just Wow...you know what I need space. Bye." You say and turn into a bird and fly away.

You didn't give him a chance to react. "WAIT NO, PLEASE I'M SORRY DARLING." He yelled out, tears streaming down his face. He fell to the floor crying, he hated himself for hurting you. He just wants to protect you!

Urogi

Now he was the one who got on your nerves the most, since he was the more playful and he loved pulling pranks on you. Yes they were funny but as time passes by his pranks got old and annoying.

Today he really got on your nerves, he pulled a prank on you, which made you snap at him. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME! STOP WITH YOUR PRANKS!"

He thought it would be a funny idea to grab all your underwear and make them into a nest. He just laughed at your reaction. Not taking your angry so seriously. "Haha come on Y/N! Don't get mad! Ha! Look at your face you're so mad you look like Sekido!"

You wanted to slap him but you took a deep breath and look at him. "Screw you! I'm out of here." You say and turn into a bird and fly away.

He just stood there for a few seconds and giggled. He flew after you. And sorry but not sorry, you're not out flying him. He'll catch up to you. "Aw you're cute when you're mad!"

#demon slayer #kny #akaza #gyokko #hantengu #hantengu clones #x reader #reader insert #headcanons #sekido #karaku #aizetsu #urogi

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prttykittes · 6 months

Note

:3 anon back

i just saw the chainsaw man stuff and i had to add my personal thing rq

denji loves when he either calls you mutt or you call him mutt. he doesn’t care.

best pet name of 2023 goes to! ‘Mutt’

like ‘mutt’ can be used in any way like. 🥹 You said you wanted to write incest so i kind of got you!

No char you can pick whoever or just the idea works!

Dad/father figure loves how you look in your cute outfits you wear to school, he even bought you this choker that has “daddy” on the inside of it! little did you know a leash can be attached to it T^T. So one day he makes you wear his favorite outfit and then shows you the leash he can attach to your choker has you put it on. now that he has you at his mercy he can do whatever he wants to you now! He makes you get on your knees and suck his fat cock as he lets your head and calls you his ‘needy mutt’. he makes you ride him as he tugs your leash calling you his personal fleshlight (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀). threatening you that if you tell mommy that he’ll make sure you won’t walk the next day. And if he’s feeling mean he’ll make you hump your favorite teddy till you make a mess all over it. He makes you wear a vibrator in your cute hole whenever mommy isn’t home so he can keep you nice and wet for his cock. He buys you all this cute stuff and spoils you though. So getting fucked by his fat cock once in a while is just the price to pay to look cute! 💕

omg i really indulged myself😭 sorry! (i felt possessed writing this)

Woah!! :3 anon, I love ur ideas from ur silly brain!!! I love denji so much, but I feel like going with Aki with this because I love Aki so much, his silly small ponytail!! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

ෆ DAD!Aki X GN!Reader [you/your]

— Synopsis:: You're daddy's mutt and fuck toy, your daddy loves to toy with your sweet hole!!.

CW. Incest, child/parent, humping, voyeurism, vibrators/toys, degradation (mutt)

A/N :: uwu — written by a minor

[MASTERLIST] — (⁠ノ⁠^⁠_⁠^⁠)⁠ノ works in link!

You came back from school, opening the door up. He was standing there and his arms opened. You smiled and ran to hug him, your face in his chest, he loved the cute outfits you would wear!! He kisses your forehead and leads to the couch, you smile and sit down. His hand is on your thigh and he shows you a choker. It has the word daddy on it!! "Is it for me, daddy!" You clapped your hands, it was for you like he was going to spend money on that woman. You smile and you kiss him as a thank for the gift. He slips his tongue in your mouth, both of yours tongues twirling around each other. He hears you moan in the kiss, his hand attempts to go lower but the sound of keys jingling is heard. He pulls away, a string of saliva connecting you two. You get up and go to your room, she walks in and goes over to Aki, she kisses him. It feels gross and feels like he is cheating on you!! \`~`/ One day, daddy came up and asked you to try on his favorite clothing. You put it on fast, you do a twirl and he kisses your hand before he shows you the leash. "What is that for?" You asked, staring at the leash he holds. "It's for your choker, here.." he attaches it on your choker, he holds it up and gently tugs on it. "Get on your knees, baby" he says, you blush and go on your knees, he pulls down his pants and underwear. He is so hard right now, you look at it and he tugs on the leash. Making your face hit his dick, you can feel it twitching against your face. "Suck" he commands you with one word, you wrap his dick with your warmth wet mouth. You use your hands to stroke the rest, he grunts and pulls on it to make your head go deeper down. He can feels vibrations on his dick, your moaning. He can see a bulge on your throat, he can never be amazed of the sight, his fat dick in your mouth making a bulge.. he tugs on it more as he can feel himself about to nut, he holds the back of your head as he fucks your mouth. He tightly grips your hair and he cums, his sticky white seed filling up your mouth. He pulls out his dick and some of his white cream lands on your face. You open your mouth show you swallowed everything.

He sits down and leans against the wall, he pats his lap. You get up and hover your hole above his fat cock. He tugs the leash down as you body falls on his dick, you can never get used of the size, he can see a bulge on your stomach. You ride him faster, lifting yourself up and down. "Needy mutt", he mutters, you go faster. You whine when his dick hits spots deep in your hole, you bite your lip and continue to bounce. He continues to pull on your leash, he puts his fingers into your mouth, you suck on it while you still ride him. "My fleshlight~!" He says, you main around his fingers when you feel him filling you up, your sex cums as well. You weakly lift yourself up and some of seed drips out of you. "Make sure, not to tell mommy. Or~ we will never see each other again!" He says, kissing your chest, you nod frantically. There next day, he makes you hump your sweet teddy bear, your sex rubbing against the buttons and the fur. You hump, moaning and drooling. He helps you out, moving your body hard against the teddy bear. He tells you to keep going until you make a mess over your sweet bear<3 he rubs his hand against your back and your butt, he smiles while you begin to weakly hump. He can tell your coming to the end, your whole body trembles and you let out a weak moan. He lifts your body up and gently puts you in the side, he can see your cum all over the teddy bear, he picks some up and licks it off his finger, he moans at the taste of you. Your still coming down your high so he might as well put his fat dick inside of your hole!!! He also puts vibrations and toys inside of your hole, when your mommy don't or home or when she is home~ He wants you to be a mess and wet for him, he can see you humping the couch softly to push the vibrator more into you, your so needy<3 He buys you cute stuff, cute clothing!!he loves to spoil you so much!! In return you have to let him fuck you with his fat dick, honesty what a good deal <3

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heartrender6 · 1 year

Text

most of the kuwei hate in this fandom is absolutely racially motivated and most of it is probably subconscious but i NEED to talk about this.

and not because i think people r thinking "i hate kuwei!! he's asian and i hate asians!!" tbh most anti asian racism on the internet goes way deeper than that.

basically, what i believe to be the most prominent type of racism against asians, especially on the internet, is stereotyping. specifically "uwu-ification." the east asian entertainment industry likes to paint asian people as cute, submissive and sweet because it markets disturbingly well to american audiences, and whether people mean to or not, they internalize it and it affects the way they think of asian people as a whole. This mostly happens to east and southeast asian women, but definitely a lot with men too, especially in more recent years with the whole yaoi culture thing (i fucking hated typing that) becoming more popular. simply put, it's fetishization.

so how does this relate to kuwei? well, when kuwei is introduced to us, and im not gonna dance around it— he is pretty stereotypically asian. he's shy, innocent, small, good at math/science and— you guessed it— no speaka engrish. leigh bardugo lays the perfect trap for fandom white girl weeaboos to gush over this guy. once i came across a modern au where kuwei's whole northern chinese-mongolian ass is a "shy japanese transfer student." i really wish i was making this up.

but then we find out that kuwei is actually a conniving little shit who is really quite terrible at science and spends all day making shitty drawings of his crush instead of doing math or wtv. The turning point where we are told this is the jesper kiss. This is the point where we find out kuwei is not the yaoi uwu baby we thought he was. and how does fuckin 2/3 of the fandom react?? hate. instant hate. If you search "i hate kuwei" on twitter there are tweets both defending and attacking him, but there is significantly more of the latter.

most of them claim to hate him for kissing jesper but like... jesper kissed him. He doesn't say anything because, in his own words, "we're all probably going to die anyway." does no one see how tragic that is?? he let his first (probably) kiss be taken by someone who he knew didn't even like him because he thought it would be the only one he'd ever get.

and yet the only thing people see is that he "got in the way" of wesper and he's evil. throughout the series kuwei is given no agency, and that's the point of his character. everyone on the planet treats him as a weapon or a bargaining chip. he gets tossed around like a rag doll and to white (or otherwise not asian) audiences, that makes him the perfect picture of a little asian cutie i almost vomited typing that holy shit. but the moments where he takes something for himself— insisting on going to ravka, kissing jesper back— that's what makes people hate him. and don't even get me started on the way people project their hatred onto the other crows, especially wylan. yall will act like wylan loathes kuwei with all his being. he doesn't!! wylan is not a hateful person and he always defends kuwei!! but nooo, kuwei sucks and he deserves it for daring to be a person instead of an idea.

and hey?? guess what?? kuwei was NEVER in the way of wesper. there was no love triangle. narratively speaking, there was never any threat that kuwei would end up with jesper instead of wylan. never ever. the kiss was literally only put there to create drama for wylan and jesper. we never even hear how kuwei feels about it. stop using that as an excuse to hate on kuwei when we can all see it's because you're subconsciously mad at an asian person not being nice.

also disliking kuwei does not automatically make you racist, im just saying a lot of hatred towards kuwei is rooted in racism.

tagging my fellow aapi moots (that i know of) because i wanna hear yalls thoughts on this! @hauntedacousticversiontv @dramaqueentruther

#bishangzoy #shadow and bone #six of crows #kuwei yul bo #wesper #i wanna make it clear that it IS mostly subconscious but that doesn't mean mfs who are guilty of this should be held any less accountable

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killmeprettypleasee · 1 year

Note

Can you do where ghost use his higher rank against m!reader to have sex with him? or something like that ty!!!

GOOD BOY

omg thank you for requesting sobsobsob, anyways still cant find my phone so im still using a laptop- this was edited cus ii only found out i put the wrog tags- instead of ghost i put konig- i wanna cry so hard

summary: you messed up something during mission and end up ruining it so ghost takes advantage and uses you all for himself- thats all cus my mind feels like shit..

warnings: papi ghost calls you a whore and a good boy uwu, ooc ghost?, taking advantage,noncon to dudcon???, grinding, abuse of power, maybe slight errors

you sat on the floor with Ghost eyed your naked body, he smirked behind his mask seeing how vulnerable you are infront of him as you quiver and gulp at the thoughts of him doing to you later on.

"Fucking hell.. look at you, so fucking pretty for your lieutenant.." he groaned out heavily and let out a soft chuckle "c'mere, sit on my lap would you?" he patted his lap as he said so, you ignored him and tried to cover you cock between your thighs and hands as you satted there and looked at him with a frown and red cover your facec from embarrassment then cursed under his breath tired from the waiting "come here or i'll tell what you did to price" he said between gritted teeth making you let out a small gasp and sighed in defeat, soo after that you stood up and making your way to him.

"thats it.. good boy" he vhuckled ,you just wanted to punch him at the face but sadly cant because you knew he was a higher ranked than you, you're just a Sargent and he? he's a fucking Lieutenant even if you made an excuse they would only believe him cause ofcourse- he has higher authority than you , whiched pissed you off badly.

soo as that you finally was sitted on his lap with him caressing and rubbing your waist, you tried not to moan when his hand brushed over your weeping cock, you let out small whines and whimpers instead making him smirk under his mask, he would grope your chest as if it was a females.

he then rubbed your cock then felt a tight knot in your tummy building up, his strong hands grips your thighs and spreading then nicely as you whined his name, soon you came all over his hand staining it white you panted heavily after the orgasm you had and layed back "were just starting pretty" he said with a slight chuckle afterwards.

this made you groan, he placed his chin on your shoulder before caressing your waist "fuck you.." you hissed out before you started grinding yourself on his thigh, you let out small pants and moans "thought you didnt like it.. but look at you fucking god" he smirked and held your hips helping you grind on him.

your cheeks heat up as you felt your dick harden again as you grind against him, a few minutes you came again staining your chest and som on Ghosts arms.

cliffhanger haha- i cant thing shit anymore.. anyways small funfact i was multitasking this shit- yeh... i was practicing my writing for the journalism i joined and watched konig edits while i making this, and im not quite proud of this but i hope yall like it<333

#mw2 #cod x male reader smut #cd x male reader #ghost x male reader #simon ghost riley x male reader

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c0la-queen · 2 months

Note

I absolutely LOVE your writing, it's so nice to see eddsworld content especially this good <33 can I request Tord with a very shy partner? No pressure ofc, take your time!

Thank you!!! My neurons were absolutely firing with this piece, for realsies. It may not be exaactly what you envisioned? And I was trying not to make the Reader be the stereotypical "uwu im so shy sowwy" kind of shy? You know what I mean? Either way, I hope you enjoy, and if its not quite what you wanted, PLEASE feel free to send me an inbox message letting me know !!!

Run, Rabbit, Run. | Tord x Shy! Reader

Warnings: Mostly Tord's POV, not the fluffiest? it has a happy ending, but Tord is naturally a kind of fucked-up person.

---

Tord had a problem.

He doesn't have problems often, and certainly not problems he can't solve.

It wasn't every day that he wanted to be around someone - craved it. He acted like he only tolerated his roommates, kept the truth locked away under thick layers of steel.

But you. He sought you out, needed you like it ached. Your presence.

You, however, ran from him. Every time. Fled like a rabbit that had caught a glimpse of the stalking wolf. Scurried back to your burrow, safe and protected by densely packed earth. Where he could not reach you. It grinded at his patience, made him clench his jaw hard enough to crack a tooth. He walked into a room, you found an excuse to walk out. It was a constant among the chaos and unpredictability of their house.

The one thing that he needed like a dying man, and he couldn't have it. You wouldn't give it to him.

A problem.

He was going to fix this problem, if it meant the death of him.

And who was he but a stubborn man?

His opportunity came during a lazy Sunday afternoon.

The other three were all out, running errands and such. You were still home. Doing laundry, from the sound of it. He wasn't surprised, you liked to use Sunday as the day to do your household chores, reset for the coming week - not that he had been paying attention to your habits. No. Just coincidence.

From the garage, he could hear you. The wall that his workbench sat against was one that was shared with the laundry room, so it wasn't difficult. If he sat still, focused enough, he could practically imagine it. You, in your crop t-shirt and little sleep shorts that you always wore when you did laundry. Hair pushed out of your face. Dancing along to the music that he could hear playing from your phone - doing those silly, awkward dance moves that you did when you thought nobody was looking.

He wanted to be there. It was selfish, he knew. But that little undamaged piece of him sitting in his chest longed to join you. Insert himself into the little life that you had carved out for yourself in their house. Slot his own being so nicely beside your peace and quiet. You were so… unlike him. You were soft, sweet. Like the skolebrød of his childhood. You were vanilla and sugar. Unmarred by anything horrible in the world. That self-centered part of him wanted to take. To clamp his jaws down around your hind legs and sink his teeth in when you tried to escape.

Tord was moving before he even realized it.

You had moved out of the laundry room. Your music faded as you walked further into the house. If he remembered correctly (That phrase tasted bittersweet on his tongue. As much as he craved you, he didn't want to admit how actively he was chasing you. A wolf that resented the rabbit.) you would set about doing the dishes after depositing your empty laundry basket in your bedroom.

His mouth was dry. So he moved to the kitchen. To get water. (That's what he would tell you. That's what he would tell anybody who asked.)

The switch from the garage to the house was always jarring to the senses. The garage was cold, unprotected from the autumn chill. But the house was warm. Welcoming. Safe. (You were inside.) It was like sitting under a hot shower after catching hypothermia.

He stopped in the doorway.

There you were. In the kitchen. Dishwasher open. Your smartwatch was discarded on the kitchen table alongside your phone and water bottle. Music was still playing from the device's speakers. You were, just as he guessed, wearing your crop tee and shorts. (The collar was hanging low on one of your shoulders, bearing the skin to his vision. His hands itched.) You hadn't noticed him yet. Little rabbit unaware of the danger that lurks in the forest underbrush.

It was something beautiful watching you in your own little world. In public, you were so small. Reserved. Put a cork on your personality so that nobody could truly see who you were. To you, it felt like security. If nobody had access to your identity, then nobody could take it away. Nobody could judge you. Even home, with the boys, you were less than yourself. Not to the same degree, but still limited. They didn't take offense to it, they knew it wasn't you distrusting them. It's just how you were. But here, when you thought you were alone? The cork was removed and he loved to watch the bottle overflow.

You spun on your heel and nearly dropped the bowls in your hand from how hard you flinched at the sight of him. He could see the way that you drew in to yourself, made yourself smaller.

"Oh, um, hey. Tord. I didn't… realize you were home."

There was something tight in his chest at the way you looked so nervous. You shifted in your spot, looked anywhere but at him. He wanted you to look at him.

"I am."

You only answered with a soft 'oh' before turning back to the dishwasher. He remained still, watching. Clearly, you were looking for a way out, a chance to flee. Something he wasn't going to let happen.

"I should probably-"

"You keep avoiding me."

Your head shot up, looking up at him with wide, pretty eyes. He dug his fingernails into his palms.

"What? No, no I haven't- I haven't been-"

"Do not lie to me."

It was cruel, yes, but it gave him the desired effect. You clammed up immediately. Shoulders slumped. Gave him just a little inch, but that was all he needed to take a mile. He stepped closer. You stepped back.

A snarling, drooling, hungry wolf, closing in on its prey.

Your back hit the counter. He stepped forward again.

A trembling little rabbit, cornered with nowhere to go.

He stopped a foot away from you.

"I have tolerated this for months. For months I have watched you run from the sight of me alone. As if the very idea of being in the same room as me is too much for you to bear. Do you even have any idea what you do to me? Do you know how it kills me?"

He could feel the way that you tensed up. A spike of anger stuck into his chest, burning hot. You weren't looking at him. You were looking at your shoes again. He forced his words out of his throat in the form of a growl.

"For fuck's sake, look at me. Look at- Look. At. Me."

Frustration boiled over, bubbling and spilling over the sides of the pot and he wasn't able to put the lid on it fast enough. He reached up and grabbed your jaw, holding it firmly between his index and thumb. Forced your eyes to focus on him. Only him.

A sick part of him preened at the little gasp that came out of your throat.

But you kept your eyes on him. Good girl.

"Tell me why you have been avoiding me."

His voice was softer now. He hated how much pain he could hear in it. How it trembled. He had hoped you wouldn't notice. But you did. Your mouth opened. Then closed. You swallowed thickly. Then you spoke.

"I thought…. thought you didn't like me."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Him? Not like you? How could you think that? He could only hate you as much as a hunter hates Mother Earth for blessing him with food.

"You just… always seem so.. annoyed at me whenever I try to talk to you. And you never really… really talk back.. Just kinda… give short answers. I thought you found me annoying. I didn't want to keep annoying you. So I just… just backed off…."

He took a moment to process that. Let it all sink in.

He couldn't help it.

Tord began to laugh.

Through his laughter, he noticed you pout, heard a soft whine leave you. A groan ripped through his laugh at the sight. As if his body was working on autopilot, he surged forward. Pressed his lips to yours. He felt your gasp against his lips, then felt your melt into the kiss. You kissed back.

When his oxygen began to run short, he pulled away. Not too far, though. Kept his forehead pressed flush to yours. Took in the sight of you. You, panting softly, lips swollen from the kiss. Looking up at him through your pretty eyelashes.

"I have never hated you, kjære. I am… aloof. I have a resting bitch face. You are not the first person I have unnerved. But.. you are the first that I have wanted to be close to. If you would have me."

Courtesy. Formality. Tord was a stubborn man, and when he managed to get a taste of blood, he clamped his jaws down tight and didn't let go.

And this rabbit laid down in his teeth willingly.

You smiled.

"I'd like that. Yeah."

#eddsworld #eddsworld x reader #eddsworld tord x reader #eddsworld tord #requested

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saintarc · 1 month

Text

LOVE AT FIRST BITE. LOST CHAPTER #II.

♱⃬ ͏ ⠆ TEETH GRAZING AGAINST HER PURE SKIN. a dance in the ballroom could result such a fateful encounter against a young and handsome vampire whose scarlet eyes pierces through the existence of a vampire hunter of a mere girl.

🦇 ͏⠆ a bit of really minor nsfw, minor religious themes, mentions of skin cutting, blood sucking, usages of "dear/dearest". 2200+ words.

taglist ⌇ @steleir @tojiluv @ellzbellz @theblueslytherin @krokietino @purplepursepaint @katiemrty @saturvue @tsxkkis @httpshujii @syomi @tnt-kokoo @suniika @camilo-uwu @mimifoodlover @whynotelli @rollssas (taglist is opened)

WHERE THE FIRST ROOSTER CROWS, the unrested soul of the hardworking and determined vampire hunter sets her feather pen on the table to rest her sore arms.

what could cause it to be of such soreness? well, that is simple. born a silvernalle, they are meant to write down every single detail from the finest hair to the soles of the feet of any vampire that they came across. all written in the book of the silvernalle’s vampire records.

so far, not a single information of the current prince of the vampires, zuko, is recorded into the pages of the old book. that's when you know that there are two possibilities.

one, he is not that old of a vampire. two, nobody in your lineage has managed to get any information on the vampire prince at all. perhaps he is just so skillful that his existence had finally resurfaced after generations.

regardless of the lack of information on the vampire, you know what you are doing. respected young hunter of the vampires, y/n silvernalle. head of the silvernalles ever since you were fifteen of age.

quite the accomplishment in your opinion… to be the youngest head and one of the few females who managed to become heir.

what did society expect if you're the last few standing silvernalles in existence? possibly even the last with pure hunter blood? there is no way you are going to simply sit by and burn away all the activities committed by your vengeful ancestors. with you alone, you cannot erase the existence of the vampires by yourself anyways.

“lady silvernalle, here are the reports of nearby villagers regarding the sightings of recent and low-class vampires,” seira hales, young assistant and precious friend of yours, placed a pile of papers above your desk. “i’ve checked some of them, and none of them mentioned a single description of the vampire prince you engaged with.”

“i’d like to think it's because the prince hasn't made his existence known to the world until that night,” you set your quill aside and momentarily stared at the papers before averting your gaze onto seira.

“my stomach cries in anger. shall we get lunch, seira?”

COFFEE-DRIPPING SCENTS, honey pastries, and a little bit of a torn and worn-out cushion seats. it is not far from when the clock strikes at the fourteenth hour of the day, and two souls have not gotten their fair share of lunch yet.

now they are seated comfortably in the soft and lukewarm heaven of an old inn where it is almost like a bakery, but not really. the inn sold the likes of alcohol and beef. choices vary. there are many meals to choose from.

you chose a simple and nice stew to ease your mind and body which has been working nonstop ever since the encounter with the royal vampire. whereas the daughter of greatly adored hales ordered a healthy bowl of salad and bread at the side of it. both of you were given a cup of wine to complete your meal.

knowing your friend, assistant, and apprentice, you always wait for her to say her graces before consuming her meals. though you might not be as orthodox and religious as she is, you'd clasp your arms together with her and remain silent as she thanks the lord for the food.

seira’s faith is just as important as any garlic and holy silver swords. she has knowledge on exorcism and whatnot that a priest obtains throughout his years of priesthood. it is a skill of the hales family and also their duty to assist the silvernalles in pursuit of vampires. for both families have mutual feelings towards those bat-like monsters.

so the consumption of both your meals were carried out as usual, along with the discussions on how to terminate the other nightly creatures that might cause some distress to humanity in the silent night. all that is left for you and seira to do is to pay for your meals before heading back to the silvernalle headquarters for more studies.

the moment you set your payment on the counter, the corner of your eyes caught an unforgettable image that you thought you'd never see in the light of day. the image that was burned, etched, and marked at the back of your mind, slowly crawling up to make its familiarity into your conscious mind.

without uttering another word, your feet carried you away from the counter to chase after that familiar figure. to put simply, you ran after it, leaving your assistant behind to shout out your name and question where you are headed. but that doesn't matter.

what truly matters now, is that the vampire from that night isn't actually walking under daylight where he should be cinched to ashes the moment the sun hits his skin.

you cursed under your tongue and went out of the tavern where the figure had just left. and that was it. nothing else, nothing more. not a single trace of the monster from that night is seen ever again. at least, not to you, because your arms just received a message which resulted into goosebumps.

an eerie message that spoke to you through the slight appearance of the familiar vision. a message that tells you that this isn't going to be the last time you will ever see him in all his glory.

THE HOWLS OF THE WOLVES were loud tonight, as the perfectly full moon shone its wondrous atmosphere all over one part of the world, where it is brightest.

despite all the nightly howls and the dangers of a lonely girl walking through the night, you continued to venture through the trail in the middle of a field. the moon seemed to be the only company you have for the night, for it is seen as the largest in the field.

you are so so wrong about that assumption however. you knew the exact moment when there was an icy feeling that just electrocuted down your spine that you are indeed not alone with the night sun at all. this chilly feeling that gathered and remained all over you, giving you a gift of goosebumps that covered all over your arms.

this feeling is familiar. you know of it. it is the feeling of something that is about to go wrong. terrible even— if it starts to get all cold and you feel the urge to crawl up into a ball just to keep yourself warm while avoiding the rotten feeling.

mere goosebumps alone with a little bit of fearing the night wouldn't stop you from getting to your destination though. you are determined to get there even if a certain vampire is watching you with a pair of dark scarlet eyes and an insatiable lust for the red liquid in your body.

“make your presence known, won't you?” you said, voice echoing through the night as the chilly wind pulled and danced along with the flow of your voice. your breath came out as a collection of cold mist.

you could almost feel a super tiny smile that cracked a little as you first saw it that day in the ball of the vampire princess. the fake and everlasting smile that could enchant women so easily, even though it was so tiny— barely visible to the eyes.

“oh! i was found out,” the vampire exclaimed, giving you a little shrug as his face quickly twisted into a frown and a glare at once. “bold of you to walk alone during dusk, silvernalle girl.”

“bold of you to assume i’m afraid of the dark as a silvernalle, prince.”

in your boots, you kept weapons in there. weapons of all sorts are always strapped around your body, possibly even in your body, if you were extreme enough to cut open your skin just to store anti-monster weapons. with the same silver dagger you used against the fellow vampire standing before you, you grabbed it and swung it at zuko's direction.

his eyes widened at the sudden attack. not wanting to feel the burn of the same blade again, the prince does his best to dodge it in hopes of eventually kicking it away from your grasp.

you got into a little brawling battle with him. and honestly… it was no easy task to land a hit or even a single graze on his skin because of how agile and perfect he is at hand-to-hand combat and especially, dodging.

“it seems his highness is good at combating, and dodging,” you grabbed the dagger that fell off and ran to the vampire who let out a sigh.

“i am a vampire after all. we're just naturally good at it,” zuko dodged, using his hands to attempt a few chops and a few jabs on your vital points using his fingers and the sides of his hands. however, you too, are a professional at the art of dodging hits.

this went on for about a few more moments, before zuko finally had enough of this little hit and dodge game. the vampire prince had finally cornered you until your back hit a huge tree trunk that the moon seemed to favour tonight.

“enough playing around,” zuko kicked the blade that was on the ground away. he kicked it so far that you couldn't even see where it disappeared to. just as you were about to grab another weapon from somewhere on your body, zuko already has your hands above your head, locked within his tight grip to prevent your itchy fingers from pulling out another silver weapon.

“what was your name again? y/n? y/n silvernalle? yeah probably, i heard your friend called you that,” said zuko. “did you know, in the history of silvernalles and vampires, there was once a hunter named y/n too. she's killed by my ancestor, count roku though. isn't it a shame? you're pretty much a little copy of her, from the pictures that roku drew of her.”

you gritted your teeth and glared at zuko. “and? what has that got to do with me? just because i have the same name as someone who died by your darn ancestor, doesn't mean it has anything to do with me.”

zuko’s scarlet eyes looked down at your leg which he knew were attempting to kick him off of you. the man went closer to you, way more closer than he should've… and he placed his knee between your thighs, catching you by surprise.

before you could scream or even let out a single whine, his hands already slapped against your mouth to cover any alluring noise that might escape from your lips. your legs have failed to move.

“shut up,” zuko tells you, his voice getting more aggressive the more you struggle against him.

“i hope you know you're enticing and beautiful enough that the officials of dark romania all have their eyes on you now. i will mark you as my territory, silvernalle, so you can hunt me without having to struggle with thousand year old great grandpas.”

your eyebrows scrunched in confusion at his odd choice of words. he wants you to hunt him in peace without having to worry about powerful vampires that he calls ‘great grandpas’. so he is going to mark you.

exactly how? you do not know. regardless of his suggestion, you do not want to be marked by a vampire nor carry the scent of one into your daily life. for your honour as vampire hunter.

all you could do was shake your head slightly against his hard grip on half of your face. you cannot do anything about it. the strength of a royal vampire is more than that of a normal powerful thousand year-old one. you yourself has basic knowledge about such a fact.

“oh, dear, i promise you, it won't hurt.”

you squeezed shut your eyes and held in your chokes, even after zuko’s harsh grip against your face loosened and left your mouth, you kept your lips sealed. there's something about his words that makes you lose the ability to fight back. it murdered the spirit of the brave lion in you with just a few words.

the prince’s fingers were on the lower part of your face again. but this time, they gently swipe across your lower lips. all gentle gestures right before he leaned into your neck and his two canine teeth grazed against your skin. such an odd feeling you felt. the cold hands of a vampire caressing your lips and his mouth moving to mark you as his.

all of these while you suddenly lose hope at this moment and feel your body succumbing to the vampire prince. it was such a sad and disappointing sight honestly. a silvernalle is shamefully standing still, allowing a vampire to fill your entire body with his rich and royal scent as he takes your blood as a form of his satisfactory meal.

a tear of your ancestors escaped from the corner of your eyes, all while feeling the itching pain of the fangs buried deep in your skin and zuko’s fingers now cupping your face. your thighs closed in on zuko’s knee, squeezing it from the hellish burn on your neck.

the moment you blinked, zuko has already ceased his marking and is now staring right into your pitiful eyes.

“i need more of you,” he whispered, “but i can't,” his cold yet gentle hands left your cheeks. you already miss the feeling. you unconsciously grabbed his hands, just moments before snapping out of his enticing. you gripped it tightly, fingernails buried deep into his skin just like how his fangs were in your skin.

“i will fucking kill you, zuko,” your eyes snapped out from his spell and splashed daggers right into the core of his undead soul. “you will regret ever tempting me, bastard.”

the same tiny smile surfaced on zuko’s lips. “i'm waiting, my dearest sweet little hunter.”

#♱⃬ ͏⠆ ͏love at first bite #🎥 . . xwrites #zuko #prince zuko #zuko x reader #zuko x y/n #zuko x you #atla zuko #atla #fire lord zuko #avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender zuko #avatar zuko

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