there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
32K notes
·
View notes
I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.
334 notes
·
View notes
Do you think Tubbo would recognize the path Bad is going down, because it's one he's already walked down on?
This self-destructive behavior coming from a broken heart?
He hasn't seen Bad at his best, before the eggs got kidnapped. He's seen him a victim to grief more than a father. It's why the blue staining Bad's being isn't out of the ordinary.
But suddenly he starts carrying flowers to remind him of the love he lost, suddenly the void calls out his name even louder and suddenly Tubbo sees himself in the older demon.
And it's scary, because suddenly he sees what he has become, how it affects others.
And for the first time of many, he sees Bad walk down a road he's paved. For the first time of many, Bad is the one repeating Tubbo's mistakes.
151 notes
·
View notes
happy wip wednesday! I shall humbly request arsonist!neil like every week <3
I am very normal and I am not kicking my feet and giggling whenever you post btw I'm normal
WIP Wednesday (1/24) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 92)
Neil blinks when he realizes how right Andrew is. He can’t imagine how difficult life would’ve been had he not been an only child. Would Mary have taken this hypothetical sibling as well or left them to rot in Baltimore? The thought makes him sick to his stomach.
10
You don’t like your brother?
Andrew
He’s my brother. I love him.
He doesn’t like me.
At least, he didn’t when we were younger. I think he does now.
Maybe. A little, at least.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the most like-able person.
Neil frowns at that. Andrew is nice. He’s the easiest person to talk to. And he’s funny. What’s not to like?
10
You seem like-able to me.
But what do I know, I’m just an arsonist.
Andrew
You're dumb.
And speaking of your little hobby, you better cool it for a while.
Last night was horrible.
In fact, I’d say it counts as at least three fires.
Neil considers that for a moment. It was big, yes. One of the biggest fires he’s ever set. But…
10
Nope.
One match, one building. One fire.
31 notes
·
View notes
And another thing (this is the last one, I promise, I will stop going on tags and rabbitholing my way into reading discussions i disagree with)
Another thing I don't know where came from is the idea that the rest of the party doesn't interact with their relationship, that it is something isolated and that the others don't comment or interfere with, that it's kept apart from the group, because that is simply not true?
I'm too lazy to look for exact quotes right now, but in episode 65 Ashton was the one, after Laudna's outburst, that insisted for her to go somewhere to reconnect with Imogen, sure Imogen kept saying she would be with Laudna, but Ashton very clearly knew that some time alone with Imogen could make her feel better.
But you also have other things sprinkled out through the campaign like the "are you staring because you are jealous?" From Fearne during the dusk arc, FCG after getting the share dream spell suggesting numerous times to use with them, FCG getting Imogen to kiss Laudna's forehead for the ritual, Orym comparing Imogen's loss to his own six years before, "that dead lady's got a lot of love in her heart", Ashton and FCG helping Laudna on the gift shop, Fearne trying to to help in episode 65 telling Laudna Imogen was thinking about her the whole time.
My point is the party is not alienated from them, they have private moments, sure, but some post I read was talking about how the party doesn't interfere with the "stagnation" of their relationship, which just sounds so weird to me? Where exactly do they need to interfere? Unless one of them was having trouble and was asking for advice (which is something that, ya know, happened) I don't see why they need to interject, unless you want their relationship/dynamic to change, because it is not your cup of tea, so it isn't that the other characters don't interact with their relationship is that you want the interaction to be different (which is valid, I disagree but everyone has their taste in shipping and fiction in general), but trying to say that they keep their relationship far removed from the others is not really true is it?
70 notes
·
View notes
ok I wanna talk about these posts
Now I don't wanna say these posts are wrong or that I disagree with them, but they are only two of many that I see in a similar vein and my general take is: We need to change the way we have this conversation.
Because yes. It is true that young people get indoctrinated on TikTok (and other platforms including tumblr!) in the same way older generations get indoctrinated through FOX News or Facebook.
But we can't let these conversations always start and stop with "these groups are gullible and THIS vague entity is responsible for it and I am so smart for realising this and they're stupid for not realising it".
We need to finally start solution-oriented conversations. We need people who don't just point at the problem but actually talk about how we can fix it.
TikTok has an issue with misinformation that users don't have the tools to recognise?
Well here's a list of only a few of the TikTok accounts that fight this issue right on the platform where they can get these users' attention.
MediaWise
Abbie Richards
Aslan Pahari
Astro Alexandra
Professor Casey
Hank Green
Adam Conover
All of these, to varying degrees, correct misinformation and/or provide tools to promote media literacy. Some even want to help change the platform altogether.
I know not everyone who wants to help can do things like this, but a good place to start helping change things would be to support these accounts and all the other people out there doing what they do. Most of them are on other platforms or have websites (or Patreon/Ko-Fi/etc bc monetary support for these efforts is important too) if you don't wanna get a TikTok account to help them get more attention.
And here is a Masterpost where I collect resources for how to improve your own media literacy and how to help others do the same (and I promise you, no matter how smart or skilled or media-literate you think you are, you will learn something new from these). This masterpost is updated regularly and includes a longer list of TikTok users to follow as well.
So next time you see a post like this about how stupid TikTok users are for falling for conspiracies or how Facebook is nothing but fake news or whatever, think about whether the post is actually helping in some way or only trying to make tumblr users feel superior over others, and maybe try to share something you learned here instead.
574 notes
·
View notes
I'm going to try to be as kind as I can with this.
so ok I've been seeing this more often than usual recently but please try to be normal when reblogging stuff especially creative works. avoid putting hateful tags on reblogs because the original poster sees that.
you wouldn't want a random person saying "#wow I hate this character but---" on your works, right? (and that is not the compliment you want it to be btw.)
and stop seeking content on this site just to shit on it. go make a post about it instead of reblogging something to put mean tags on. someone worked hard on that, don't be a dick.
don't spout community on this site while being the cancer that causes creators to stop sharing their works.
please be normal. ok ily bye.
195 notes
·
View notes