roselightfairy

[roselightfairy]

(re: this post)

Broke:

Legolas: The world is flat

Gimli: What?

WOKE:

some random Man at a bar in Minas Tirith: Is it true that the world is flat for elves?

Legolas: What? No. The world is round. It USED to be flat, but then Aragorn’s ancestors fucked up so bad that it was turned round.

Gimli: What?!

Legolas: Shit, don’t tell Aragorn I said it like that. Don’t tell Elrond I said it like that! It’s just, the earthquakes knocked down some really great redwoods in the northwest—I never knew them, but my dad says they were very wise, and he still holds a bit of a grudge.

Gimli: I only have more questions now.

#lotr #hahahahahahahahahahahaha my gosh #legolas #thranduil

[roselightfairy]

i love when sibling characters are fucked up from the same event but in opposite ways

#siblings #tropes

[roselightfairy]

Most Divorced Buffy Couple Tournament

#btvs #devastating that i did not know about this before the finals

[roselightfairy]

I can't actually remember offhand if you've *done* this one, but how about the classic Tortall AU of "Thom lives (for any reason)"?

1 Fundamentally, in canon, Thom dies because he’s not paranoid enough. He doesn’t suspect that he’s being manipulated into resurrecting Roger. He doesn’t guess that Delia has a reason for provoking him specifically. He doesn’t realise that Roger absorbing his Gift - and him, if necessary - was part of the plan. In this, he is paranoid enough to spot the manipulation and goes to talk to the one friend of Alanna’s he likes: George.

2 George thinks this is well into conspiracy theory territory for a normal person, but appropriate levels of drama for a Trebond. So they go on a little expedition into the catacombs and determine that Roger is somehow not all the way dead. George tells Jon about this.

3 Jon wants to know why Thom didn’t come directly to him.

I don’t like the way you treat my sister, Thom says.

Jon puffs up like an outraged pigeon and informs Thom that he means matrimony and a queen’s coronet on Alanna’s head and everything of the most honourable.

Have you lost your mind? Thom enquires.

Massive row ensues.

End result: Jon and Myles go off to the desert to tell Alanna what is going on (Myles on proposal prevention duty), George and Thom go to Port Caynn to deal with the hiccup in George’s affairs there (George on Thom babysitting duty), Gary and Raoul are left to mind the shop (worst three weeks of their collective lives).

4 Alanna is in the middle of shamanning and has three kids to raise but, after a lengthy and very awkward conversation with Jon about what they’re both looking for in a relationship (refereed by Kourrem and Kara) followed by a shorter and louder mutually outraged conversation about Roger’s shenanigans, she agrees to return and kill Roger again, if someone’s got to do it. Jon and Myles earn the respect of the Bloody Hawk by preventing Ishtar from killing himself trying to exploit the power of Alanna’s sword.

5 Everyone regroups in Corus, except Alanna, who was invited to leave Court in “invitation you can’t refuse” terms. Jon has a tan and a new appreciation both of communication in romantic relationships and the Bazhir. George has the Court of the Rogue back under control and a new appreciation of just how much of a bastard Thom is willing to be (Ralon of Malven has a new set of concrete overshoes). Gary and Raoul are on the verge of a nervous breakdown because Gary’s dad definitely knows something and they can’t figure out if Alex is a traitor or not. (He is enmeshed with Roger but has no part in treason. At this stage.)

In some ways it’s a relief when they read Duke Gareth and Duke Baird in, get independent confirmation that Duke Roger is only semi-dead, and then lay the whole before the king. King Roald first doesn’t want to believe it, then will have no part in killing Roger over again, because he still doesn’t really believe it, but either way will not be responsible for someone putting a sword through his dead nephew’s chest when they can just… leave him there.

Very well, says Jon. I’ll do it.

I’ll come with you, says Thom.

If you do, Alanna of Trebond will be exiled from this country as long as I draw breath, says King Roald.

Everyone looks at Thom, who finds this a remarkably easy decision to make. Undead dukes in the cellar are not a problem that will keep for tomorrow. What would Alanna do?

No time like the present, says Thom.

Jon succeeds to the throne right on schedule.

#this is sooooo good #tortall #song of the lioness

[roselightfairy]

#cats

[roselightfairy]

We need like “unclench your jaw” posts but for eye strain. Like

Go look at something 20ft away for 20 seconds.

#reblogging for reference #eyes

[roselightfairy]

 ☆ Lord of The Rings ☆ → RACEBENT  [1/ ?]                                 

 COLORINGS →  EVEY-V & CHANHYUKRU

#lotr #galadriel #gandalf #legolas #eowyn #arwen #aragorn #these are GORGEOUS

[roselightfairy]

Oh I love how in the film Legolas (or is it Aragorn?) says “a red dawn; blood has been spilled this night” BUT in the book Legolas says “It is a red dawn. Stranger things await us by the eaves of the forest. Good or evil, I do not know; but we are called.”

“Good or evil I do not know” being the important part, where Legolas is simply indicating that the sign he’s reading in the sky means “strange stuff is coming”, which jives with the early medieval take on Weird Color or Lights in Sky, more so than the (beloved) film version. If this were Early Modern fantasy story ppl could freak out about comets as signs of evil and also burn some witches — including that guy back in the Shire with the mushrooms, in retrospect he was totally supposed to be a wise-man wasn’t he — but even in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, a light in the sky might indicate a cataclysm, but that was just bc it indicated a change. Comets indicated change. Weird horizon glow indicated change. I have no idea what the fuck the reported double-moon indicated aside from years off my own life whenever I think about it.

(The modern phrase is “red sky at night: sailors delight / red sky in the morning: sailors take warning.” A weather thing, I’ve always assumed??.)

#i love this line #legolas #lotr

[roselightfairy]

Something about the idea that voting for president only matters if you live in a swing state, and that all the people in blue states or red states can indulge themselves in principled nonparticipation because the outcomes are preordained, strikes me as akin to playing with fire.

Is it really coherent to say "both sides are awful, write in Mickey Mouse or burn your ballot or just stay home and get drunk, unless you live in Pennsylvania, in which case maybe consider taking one for the team and compromising yourself by voting for the lesser evil?" Is that really the message that will lead to a preferable outcome?

What it sounds like to me is a sign that 1) you take your local electorate for granted, and 2) you see avoiding the worst case scenario as somebody else's problem.

I remember when Florida was a swing state. I also remember when Pennsylvania wasn't.

#us politics #voting

[roselightfairy]

you are strong. you can do it. resist the pippinification of merry

#lotr #merry #pippin

[roselightfairy]

This machine kills AI

#ai

[roselightfairy]

Star Wars has three types of guy: Fump Geezgo from the Womflee system, Stabba Badguyman, and Chris

#star wars

[roselightfairy]

While talking with the Hobbits, Tom Bombadil puts on the One Ring. For a moment, all of the Nazgul burst into merry song. It is never discussed among them again.

#this is such a classic haha #lotr #tom bombadil

[roselightfairy]

i suffer from 'men are hotter banged up' disease. unfortunately there is no cure.

[roselightfairy]

For dndads requests may I ask for a hen’ry oak

teen hen :)

#HE'S MY BABY #look at this angry repressed boy #henry oak #dungeons and daddies #absolutely perfect representation no notes

[roselightfairy]

#atla #fan stuff #hahahahaha

[roselightfairy]