#but for now I grief him

[nei-ning]

Today, on 21th of September, Verti left this Earth. Despite the medicines he was given, they didn't work as they should had. Surely Verti became more "observing" but he refused to move, refused to eat or drink. He couldn't breath well anymore. He was panting like a dog with an open mouth. He also lost more weight which was concerning.

I stood by his side all the way to an end at the vet, crying my eyes out (I will cry more later for sure). I will get his ashes after 2-4 weeks so I warmly welcome him back home. I told him that he can reincarnate into my life if he so wants to in the future but I doubt that. We had fun, lovely 16-17 years and I think he is very happy and satisfied about it - as am I <3

So, my beloved Verti, thank you SO much for all these years. You were my best cat / pet ever! <3 I have never met any cat like you. I will miss you but I also know you are now heck happy and free.

I love you <3

#text #Verti #cat #cats are the best #neis photo #He was seriously something so amazing and beyond this world #I never haven't had that kind of bond with anyone else what I had with Verti #I miss him and that bond #I wish I could experience it again at some point in my life #but for now I grief him #I feel sad yes but I also feel so light and free #For the first time in my life I'm without a pet #I love animals but they take so much time and money #chaining you too #No longer is that cute round face looking at me through the window when I'm coming home #21.9.2023

[bottombaron]

The scarest thing about Nandor being actually smart in all things Guillermo is that this is the reason why he'll never make the move to be with him:

Nandor already knows how he feels about Guillermo.

He's not even repressing it. He's just made peace with it. Because Guillermo was never an option.

Guillermo is human. He'll choose to stay human. He's fleeting. He'll always leave in some form or fashion. Nandor doesn’t choose to act on his feelings for Guillermo for the same reason why he never turned him. It would just be a curse.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandermo #no srsly #the competence Nandor expressed this episode was off the charts #not that he's not a big dummy at heart #just that i think this is another unreliable narrative thing #we like to go “Guillermo's right there u idiot” #at Nandor #which is valid #but now im thinking that Nandor already knows probably even before the docu-crew showed up #we just all assumed he didnt consider Guillermo because hes an idiot #but hes probably already went thru the 5 stages grief over knowing Guillermo would never be with him for all eternity #and at some point hes going to have to let him go

[ruporas]

the song of humanity will continue to be sung

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun stampede #he means so much to me he means sooooo much i love him so much asfuahghdsgnkdsgk #VASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i posted it on twit but i was REALLY dreading ep 11 bc i figured that vash might cry #but instead he screamt into agony in which i cant even rewatch the episode #bc the va did such a good fucking job in conveying that terror and grief and guilt and it fucks me up so bad #vash makes me sad in EVERY adaption but stampede is like #we've only seen him be kind. he's just nice. he's serious and he's nice and he's kind. he treats everyone with so much delicateness and care #and the only time he raises his voice is for the protection of others and warning them #and now he's rung the wranger and i now have a hammer to knives' side #not even trying to be dramatic its just been awhile since a character has mattered to me in this kind of way #ruporas art

[petorahs]

Orpheus' strings / music club

#persona 3 #makoto yuki #minato arisato #persona 3 reload #p3 #my art #p3reload is not a perfect game bc they robbed of us music and kendo club im so mad #but also ive wanted to make this art since last year. #i think makoto should have more hobbies #crazy how i wanted to make this art initially bc i want him to be happy but... now music club carries a sombre and melancholic connotation #makoto.......😔 grief.....

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

#he pieces it together later but i mean. its so hard for him to miss now that hes looking back at it #like why is he always always always cold with a turtleneck on and heating blasting #why is his appetite so scarce? how come his sleep deprived body withstands hours - sometimes DAYS - of patrol #and functions perfectly? how come time passes by but he stays the same? why wont clark and dick stop giving gim #*him looks of loving grief? #why does harley slam her fists on her head when she sees him? ' no no no you're gone. you're GONE. I KNOW you are!' #why does selina smile at him with such heavy pity ' sorry bruce. i don't do ghosts' #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #clark kent #dick grayson #jason todd #bc they def exclude the cloning. they dont want another bruce. they want THEIR bruce. tim #like can you imagine jason getting up in tim's face and just ' if you're not gonna stand by us then stay out of our way' #dark bruce? tired. dark BATKIDS? sign me the FUCK up #batdad #text

[little-pondhead]

Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

#pondhead blurbs #dpxdc #alfred is now their grandpa #i just want alfred to meet danny and his group of friends and unironically call him 'your majesty' and danny HATES it #like this is the guy who's gonna be my butler/caretaker after he dies? please man just say my name #it's not a cursed name i swear #no one else knows how to feel #cause like #if the contract wasn't in place everyone was sure Alfred would haunt the manor even after death due to his devotion to the wayne family #but now he's already got a job in the afterlife #so how will the bats see their father/grandfather figure now? #Bruce: the obvious solution is to adopt these random kids who still have families so alfred never has to leave :) #alfred isn't even dead yet but the bats are speedrunning their grief in like a week

[currentlyonstandbi]

#what if i just never emotionally recovered from this . wouldnt that be something #star wars #sw rots #revenge of the sith #rots novelization #anakin skywalker #darth vader #you know what. it's the fact that after everything that has happened anakin still chooses to stay with sidious #even after he knows all he's ever done is lie to him. is use him. is be yet another person on a list of people #who've only ever wanted him for his power #anakin HATES sidious by this point. he despises him. he wants him dead. and yet he stays #because he has no reason not to #he's destroyed everything and everyone who he's ever loved and has loved him in return #and as twisted as it is.. sidious is all he has left now. sidious and all of his anger and all of his terrible grief #so he stays . because he has no reason to leave #and it's not until rotj that anakin finds himself faced with a choice which isn't really a choice at all #because from the moment he realised luke would never join him in overthrowing sidious and ruling the empire #there was only ever one decision anakin could make #because in that moment he looked upon the last reminder of the love that existed once between him and padme and he found his reason #to finally break the cycle of violence #he couldn't kill luke because he loved him ! even among all the anger and pain and regret. anakin loved his son #and just as anakin's love drove him to the dark so too did it help guide him to the light #whatever. this novel destroyed me. gonna have 'this is how it feels to be anakin skywalker forever' on my mind for 3-5 business days

[grandcovenant]

who's pulling the strings of the puppet king?

#lies of p #lies of p romeo #king of puppets #lies of p geppetto #fanart #digital art #hi hello do you think romeo was fully conscious when geppetto enacted law zero (?through him?). #i think about these two a lot... i don't tend to jump straight to the 'deal with the devil' part because there's something about-- #--two people with nothing in common but the empty space between them. world's worst grief bonding situation!!! #and there's something a lot more compelling about that to me. and that's not even mentioning the grand covenant in the room-- #merits its own post or something else. (because i think about it more than anything ever.) #tl;dr i would kill carlo myself if i got to witness them having the most painfully unpleasant conversation ever had by two people. #anyway i should comment on art process too huh. #the gist of it is if no one got me i know red and black got me. #it's my Old Reliable. i've been nearly gnawing my hands off from. not managing to get anything done in a way i liked so i went back. #i feel better now.... :-) #anyway. worst in-laws ever <3

[adelinamoteru]

there is something just so amazing about jason coming back to life, seeing how the world remembered him and hating it. coming back to life and telling the people who loved him that they grieved him wrong. people worry if they’re doing the right thing x person would’ve wanted them to after they died, but no one has ever experienced something like that.

someone who you loved and mourned and who loved you back came back and was disgusted by what grief made of you. they didn’t want anything to do with you. how do you deal with the loss of someone you loved a second time around when they’re standing right in front of your eyes, breathing and alive again?

#jason todd #dcu #red hood #dc meta #ur honour I love him #the absolute grief of having ur family within arms reach but not being able to BE with them bc u can’t recognize who they are anymore #everything that made you feel safe in their arms . everything you thought about them turning out to be so wrong #jason thinks he came back wrong thats hes the one who is no longer the son bruce mourned #but bruce and the rest of them are also no longer the same people that he loved and knew #batfam died just as much as jason did #and now they’re both mourning people who no longer exist in more than a physical sense

[bookwyrminspiration]

the visceral reaction I am having even several days later. these six words hurt in a way I will never recover from

#babel rf kuang #babel an arcane history #babel or the necessity of violence #there are so many horrible things that happen to undeserving innocent people #but these six words. encompass so much #(significant spoilers ahead mutuals) #everything to do with robin's name. it being taken from him with the creation of 'robin' #and returned to him upon robin's death...I am unwell #he's leaving 'robin' behind now. all the grief and pain that came with it #he's free of it #he has his name now #GOD I am so fucking unwell about these six words #unironically my breaking point

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #tw blood #im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello.... #i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is #completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo #but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei #travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point. #humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on #& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas. #theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve #done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but #in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise #since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times #if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess #ruporas art

[skunkes]

x

#dungeon meshi #link is to original tweet ^_^ i needed ths on my blog bc me me me me me #seeing his arc from start to finish uninterrupted now that the manga is complete has solidified him as my favorite. #and another reason why dungeon meshi is cheye media its got everything #death grief and fear character; in depth on food making media; importance of food as someone who has trouble with Food and Eating #and obsessive codependent little jester [spoiler spoiler spoiler] #sent to

[haunted-xander]

So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?

He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.

Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.

But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.

Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.

But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.

It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.

#Now we -the audience- ofc knew Thancred was unlikely to go down that path #bc if theres one thing hes been consistent in even in his darkest moments its living up to his loved ones' wishes and legacies #the only time he even speaks against it is his conversation w minfilia in amh araeng #and thats more a case of all his (poorly) repressed grief and stress exploding than him actually meaning what he says #and trying to control rynes life after minfilia literally told him to just let her live her life goes directly against that #i think about fatebreaker a lot. as i do all things related to ryne & thancred #and to me its so important to note that hes more or less ran'jit with just enough thancred in him to be *too* thancred for comfort #its so. her greatest fear isnt even the thing thats been haunting her her whole life (being forced to fill in for minfilia) #its having her free will taken from her by the person she cares about the most (thancred) #and for him to be trapped in endless suffering because he cant move on #just like ran'jit did and was #its not even necessarily that shes all that scared of ran'jit himself #what shes scared about is caring about someone like that #because then she wont say no or try to be anyone but minfilia #(thats also why this fear appears specifically after things get better) #(because she was already ready to forsake herself if it eased thancred suffering) #okay im gonna stop now i need to sleep gnight everyone #ryne waters #thancred waters #ran'jit #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #at this point i should make a tag for ryne ramble posts i make so many of them #tomorrow. maybe. if i remember #edit: i made it #xander being insane about ryne

[little-pondhead]

I’m Not The Sun

—

Y'know, when Kon ‘died’, do you think a grieving Tim could have mistaken Danny for his best friend? Do you think that, in a moment of desperation and exhaustion, he might've kidnapped a floating Danny in an attempt to bring Kon home? And when he realized he kidnapped a random civilian, do you think he still kept Danny for a while as a replacement for Kon?

Do you think Danny got tired of being called 'Conner' after the first week but was too distressed himself to correct Tim? Trying to leave or tell the fellow teen his name was Danny was obviously sending the kid into a spiral. He seemed to think Danny was the dead spirit of his best friend. Maybe if he played along, this Conner guy would show back up?

Hopefully, before Tim completes his cloning research. Danny's been doing everything he can to sabotage the equipment, but even with ghost powers on his side, Tim is a smart person. Every time Danny sets him back one step, Tim takes two steps forward. And since he's well outside of his haunt, Danny is starting to feel weak and ill from lack of ectoplasm. He's running out of time.

Do you think Kon would feel upset that his best friend replaced him?

#dpxdc #pondhead blurbs #like #crack can happen #but i just want a gut wrenching story about tim's emotional breakdown #and he's smart but everything he's doing is making everything worse and worse #danny doesn't know he's red robin #he can't leave the nest or where ever tim took him to #he just knows he's getting weaker by the day #using invisibility has never been harder #the one time he tried to sneak out #tim found him in an hour #and spiraled so hard danny panicked and promised not to leave again #well guess what ghost boy? #promises are important to ghosts :) #he physically cannot leave tim now even tho it is causing him harm #tim is just off the rails with grief #he eventually realizes danny isn't kon but keeps calling him such to keep a thread of sanity #and continues with the cloning attempts #danny is just horrified and doesn't know what to do #i'm opening this up for some super angst on danny's side too #like imagine he had a bad reveal and he messed up with this powers #and now tim thinks he's the dead spirit of fucking superboy come to reincarnate into the shell of an empty clone #danny's powers are getting weaker and his control is slipping #so it's not exactly helping his case #queued post

[brother-emperors]

Crassus, Caelius, Cicero, Catiline, Conspiracy

boy howdy these four sure are something. not featured in this soup of C names, Caesar! what on earth happened here.

Plutarch, Crassus

Sallust on Crassus, Ronald Syme

Patron and Client, Father and Son in Cicero's "Pro Caelio"

Crassus' New Friends and Pompey's Return, Eve J. Parrish

Catullus and His World, T.P. Wiseman

Cicero's Catilinarians, D.H. Berry

#flash back to several years ago when I said I could never retain info on Catiline. Turns out the missing link was Crassus lmao #about halfway through drawing this i realized hbo rome era james purefoy would make a really good catiline #which is. not a good thought. bc when i start figuring out casts is when i start thinking thoughts like 'oh what if i did a comic' #conspiracy spotted. absolutely no survivors found here. good grief. we got whatever is going on with caelius. also some kind of divorce #but actually. hey cicero. HEY CICERO. I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS. FOR YOU ACTUALLY--- #i remember kaine told me about the executions but i did not fully appreciate. exactly what any of it meant in context. i have context now! #i should've been drawing the man with fucked up wall shadows the entire time. my god. #drawing tag #roman republic tag #catiline #Lucius Sergius Catilina #have i never. tagged him by his full name here. i should draw him more #cicero #marcus tullius cicero #marcus licinius crassus #marcus caelius rufus

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

sometimes I see David Tennant's face in Doctor Who as he monologues about time travel/immortality/the eternal loneliness and I go...that's him. that's my rotten lil guy. my wretched wreck of a dude. wreckage in humanoid form. the lonely divine corrupted by himself forgiven by himself made by himself made by his companions made by the universe. horrible and horrifying and far too human and not human enough. the worst thing to ever happen to so many (Martha, Adelaide, Astrid, everyone else who flashed through that whole montage thanks to Davros). a corrupter. a corruption. a cleansing. a man carved out of grief and love and pathos and hatred and grudges and forgiveness who can only make the worst decisions with the best, most selfish of intentions. a man who loved until he lost everything. a man, more than any other doctor, who should never be left alone, and yet he dies alone, with the shortest regeneration speech of any doctor. desperately lonely, desperately tragic, a disaster of a man who is too careless with everything and everyone around him.

And yet I care about him so much, because he is also the man who at the end of it all, after he lost everyone and everything he held dear, after he lost rose and donna and sarah jane and jack and martha and mickey left him and he was more alone than he's ever been, he does the right thing. the kind thing. he stops the time lords from descending on the earth. he once again gives up his people because he understands that the Time Lords Victorious cannot and should not ever be the way to go. he steps in and he saves wilfred mott. he lets himself become the doctor once again. he doesn't want to go, but instead of taking that one final step into godhood, he gives his next self a chance at being a better doctor than he ever could be.

#I DID IT AGAIN #stupid rambling #meta #tenth doctor #character study of sorts #doctor who #my writing #eleventh doctor #hey ten's character arc and his corruption and his tragedy and his callousness and his grief and the way love splits him apart speaks to me #he loves and he loses and he's guilty of so many big and small horrors but at the end he makes himself the doctor again #he is in more pain than he has ever felt #has given up his planet & his people & his companions but he still gives up one last thing- his own life- & trades it for something better #he gives it all up for wilf #and for his future self #and I REALLY want a fic where Eleven went back to see Wilf now #david tennant #russell t davies #wilfred mott