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bisexualcacti · 2 years

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Summary: the group reconvenes to figure out your next step after some disturbing news that put everybody on edge.

Pairings: Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader, Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Wordcount: 4318

A/N: very unsure about the talk you have with Max here, I just hope nothing sounds too ooc if anything.

Taglist: @prettyplant0 @anitatvd @slvdsjjk @notplutos @trashpanda-boots @preciousbabypeter @drarrytrash1 @endurexxsurvive @chipster-21 @lenissa @evilcr0ne @coldspoons

PART 5 - FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

Life has never been of value to you. You try and think of a single moment where you’ve truly been happy to be alive and draw a blank. It’s not as if you’ve had a particularly traumatic childhood experience or anything of the sort. As far as you remember, your parents were always nice to you... or they were until dad died and mom couldn’t deal with it to save her life, so she decided to forget she had a child and threw herself into religion. You basically raised yourself, and although she was there, her presence would be comparable to scratching a lottery ticket. You win or you lose. She praises you for being her lovely daughter or she tears down your psyche and slaps you for refusing to pray with her at dinner. You’d like to say the physical aggression was the worst of it, but it was the living scared of your own shadow, afraid you’d set her off, what haunted you to this day. That entire situation on top of being a queer teen in a small town in the '80s will probably not do much in making you thrilled for the wonders of being alive; but then why is it that when Max starts listing off the symptoms that the two dead kids suffered before they were violently killed, you feel dread overcome your body, its icy grip making you freeze in place.

“Chrissy's headaches started a week ago, Fred’s six days ago,” she pauses, “I’ve been having them for five days,”

It is Robin who turns your way, fully standing up, hands slightly shaking and expression panicked, “How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you been having yours?” her voice trembles.

You were hoping she wouldn’t figure it out, but she’s always been the smarter one out of the two of you. Looking at the floor, unable to meet her eyes, you respond, “Three days. It would be three days today,” your voice even sounds defeated to you.

A chill seems to envelop the room, the mood in the entire office turning grim as you all grapple with the gravity of your situation. It’s Max who speaks again, mainly addressing you.

“I don’t know how long we have. All I know is that, for Fred and Chrissy, they both died less than 24 hours after their first vision. And I just saw a goddamn clock so…” she breathes shakily, “Looks like I’m going to die tomorrow,”

A distant clang interrupts your conversation, making the bunch of you jump. In the crestfallen state you are all in, it is Steve who jumps to action, always glad to be of service. “Stay here,” he orders, and grabbing a floor lamp, heads to the dark hallway.

Of course, you don’t listen to him and follow anyway, but as everyone is exiting the room, you feel Robin’s hand slip into yours. Surprised, you look at her. She’s avoiding eye contact with you, but her determined frown and shaky breathing say everything she doesn’t, as her hand squeezes yours. It’s slightly cold and a bit sweaty, but the familiarity brings comfort to you anyway.

She walks in front of you, and you think it might have something to do with the recent revelation and the urge to protect you, so you let her. Fast footsteps run in your direction, and you all tense, Steve lifting the lamp in preparation for whatever’s coming. A figure rounds the corner, and you scream before recognizing freshman Lucas Sinclair as the culprit of your almost heart attack.

“Jesus, what’s wrong with you, Sinclair!” Steve scolds.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, panting for air.

“I could’ve taken you out with this lamp!”

“It’s just a lamp, Steve,” you remark unimpressed, to which he looks at you annoyed, muttering the words you just said in a mocking tone.

“Sorry, guys, sorry,” Lucas apologizes once again, still hyperventilating, “I was… I was biking for eight miles,” he motions the action with his arms and then lifts a single finger. “Give me one second. Shit,”

Once he’s regained his breath, he continues. “We’ve got a code red,” A what now?

Steve voices your exact thoughts but Sinclair just ignores him, walking straight to Dustin, “I’ve been with Jason, Patrick, and Andy, and they’ve gone totally off the rails. They’re trying to capture Eddie and they think you know where he is. You’re in terrible danger,” he explains in an urgent tone.

You should’ve expected this. From the conversations you had with Chrissy in the past, you’re almost convinced she never loved Jason, even if she did care for him, but that boy basically worshipped her. Jason must’ve found out through the police that it was Eddie’s trailer where they found the body, and true to his nature, it doesn’t surprise you he’s leading a manhunt against him. God knows you wouldn’t do the same if that happened to Robin. Hell, you’re basically doing it for Eddie. You’ve gotta give it to the boy, it’s sweet, if mislead and most certainly inconvenient for you.

“All right. Yeah, that–that definitely sucks but we’ve got bigger problems than Jason now,” he responds, turning to look at you and Max.

Lucas seems confused, not entirely sure of what Dustin means, but due to his tone he appears to understand how dire the circumstances are, and his expression turns concerned.

With the information you needed from the school acquired, you head to Nancy’s house, while Dustin catches Lucas up on your recent findings. After he’s aware of what’s going on, he tries to talk to Max, who is not in the mood, only providing monosyllabic answers; so the boy decides to leave her alone. It is obvious to you that there used to be something there, but as much as you sympathize with Sinclair, you can’t even begin to imagine how Max’s feeling. You’re still processing the fact you might die in three days, and she’s just found out she could die today.

Apparently, though, Lucas and Max aren’t the only ones affected by this sudden turn of events. Robin’s thumb rubs the back of your palm in a repetitive motion, absentmindedly. She hasn’t let go since you left the school, seemingly finding the movement soothing, and you can’t say you’re opposed to the feeling of Robin's fingers intertwined with yours. You find it stranger, however, that she almost hasn’t spoken a word since Max gave the news, lost in thought, which isn’t particularly weird for her but you recognize she at least tends to participate more in conversations, whether it be with a witty remark or a snarky comment. It sort of makes you want to crawl in her head and find out what she’s thinking, but you also know Robin and respect her privacy enough not to push. She’ll come to you eventually.

The moment you arrive at Nancy’s house, you and Steve are put on babysitting duty while Nancy and Robin plan your next move. She’s reluctant to let go of you, like the moment she does you’ll be gone, but you squeeze her hand to remind her you’re still right here and she nods, assured as she drops your hand.

“You’ll tell me if anything’s wrong, right?”

“Yes, Robin,” you promise.

“Like under any circumstance, you’ll come running to me if you start feeling off, right?” she insists once again.

“I will, I promise,” you reassure. “Now go, you’re making Nance wait and we don’t have much time to spare,” you say with a smile, slightly pushing her shoulder amicably.

She seems like she wants to say something but looks back to where Nancy waits on the stairs to the second floor and thinks better of it. Together, they head to her room while you, Steve, and the kids head to the basement. You can’t say you’ve had the privilege in the past to visit the Wheeler’s basements, the only times you visited the Wheeler’s house already few and scarce, but if you had to guess, this was definitely Nancy’s brother’s little mancave. Once you’re down, Max goes off on her own while the boys sit and talk with each other, and you decide to approach Steve as the only other actual adult between the bunch of you.

“Should we… talk to her?” you ask, nodding your head in Max’s direction.

“I don’t think so, she’ll just blow us off. For now, it’s better we just leave her be, let her process,” he suggests, arms crossed as he leans against one of the wooden beams of the basement. He turns to you then, worried look on his face. “How are you though?”

You sigh, a bitter smile on your lips. “I’m just… trying not to think about it. I’m not the one in mortal peril, so I'm focusing on helping Max and everything that happens after will just… happen after,”

“Huh,” Steve says with an amused grin, “You’ve changed,” he muses.

“What do you mean?” you ask, genuinely puzzled.

“I mean, I’d gotten that impression before but now, I’m sure. The Y/N I knew would’ve tucked tail and ran at the first sign of an inconvenience to her carefully preserved lifestyle. And yet here you are, literally risking your life to help us,”

“Vecna would’ve gotten me anyway. If anything, I’m helping myself by teaming up with the only ones who have at least an idea of what’s going on and what this creature is. Really, I’m not doing much, just following along,” you say, refusing to take the compliment for doing the bare minimum once in your life.

“I wouldn’t call fighting against an outer dimensional being in order to help your friend not doing much, but sure,” he shrugs.

In truth, he does have a point. You didn’t use to care that much for anyone that wasn’t you and fuck if you would’ve gone out of your way to help someone like you’re doing right now. Eddie has had a big impact on you in that sense. He’s made you care again. About him, about people, about life. You snort at that. Eddie fucking Munson of all people teaching you the magic of friendship. Oh, he would shit himself laughing if he heard you right now. And there it is again, that feeling of longing when you think of him. You want to see him, you want to hug him, you want to tell him all about your epics adventures to clear his name and poke fun at him for being the only one able to get into such a big mess by quite literally doing nothing. Fuck, you miss him.

Steve interrupts your inner monologue before you can keep thinking about Eddie, “So…” oh fuck, you already know where this is going. Really? Again? “What’s up with you and Robin? How do you guys know each other?” You need to start charging for the amount of times you’ve been asked this question.

“Been friends since kids, I ditched her in high school, and now we’re… trying to make amends,” you summarize.

“So, like, you’ve always been just friends?” he asks, acting nonchalant and avoiding your eyes. You raise a brow at that, confused. What the hell is he trying to get at?

“Yes?”

“And Robin’s never like, acted any differently towards you?” he looks at his nails as his foot swings back and forth.

“No? She was mad at me, I’m still not entirely sure she isn’t anymore, but she’s pretty much always been the same,” you respond, off-put by his behavior.

“Cool, cool, cool, sure, sure, sure, sure,” he says, nodding rapidly, his voice a pitch higher than usual.

You sigh and try to reassure him, figuring he’s just worried about his friend, “Look I know you and her are friends, and I’m happy she has you. She’s always been a bit of a loner,” you say with a fond smile, “so I’m genuinely thankful she’s had someone looking out for her. I just–I was a dick, I know, but I had my reasons to do what I did, even if you won’t get it. Point is, I love Robin and I just want the best for her, promise,” you say, holding out your pinky to him. “You have my official permission to kick my butt if I fuck up,”

He studies you intensely, weighing the veracity of your statement, and apparently, it seems to weigh enough, as he smiles and links your pinky with his.

With that conversation over, you seize the remaining time in catching the boys up with the whole Victor Creel business, sharing photocopies of the article you and the girls found. Once you’re done, you leave them to their devices and decide to try your luck with Max,

“Hey…” you say, drawing out the greeting. “How’s my favorite read head doing?”

With a nervous smile, you approach her, but she responds immediately, not in the mood, “I don’t know you; you don’t know me. We’re neighbors and that’s it. I don’t pretend to suddenly become your friend ‘cause we’re both going to die,” she doesn’t even turn around, just keeps writing.

Okay, so that obviously wasn’t the best way to approach her. You attempt to put yourself in her place and think of a better way to talk to her, but then you realize that… you are in her place. You’re also going to die.

With that in mind, you try again.

“Alright, I get it, you’re not in the mood. I understand, really. But the reality is, I’m dying, you’re dying, it sucks, okay? But I’m here, and you can talk to me. Like you said, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you, plus, we’re both going to die anyway so anything you say to me will only stay with me. To the grave,” you emphasize.

She doesn’t respond this time but also doesn’t dismiss you entirely, so you take it as a cue to keep going.

“How ‘bout this,” grabbing a chair and turning it around, you sit near her, your elbows resting on the back of the chair. “I tell you something I’ve never told anyone, and you do the same in return,”

She turns to look at you skeptically, like you’re proposing the shittiest exchange ever, and you hurry to reassure. “It can be whatever you want. Deal?”

You hold out your hand to her and the one she’s writing with halts in its motion, as she slowly turns to look at you. Her eyes study your hand with distrust, like it’ll bite her, and very deliberately, she raises hers to shake yours. You smile at her, encouragingly, “Good, great,” And it is then you have a mild crisis. To be quite honest, you weren’t expecting to get this far. You thought Max would just tell you to fuck off, so you weren’t planning on anything to say after your proposition, and now you find yourself a little lost on how to proceed.

From the little you know Max, you’re pretty sure the girl is some sort of bullshit detector, so lying wouldn’t do any good. If you really wanna get to her, you’ll have to be honest. You try and think of something you’ve never told anyone, and the very thing you’ve been escaping comes to mind. Terrifying, but honest. Your hands shake as you contemplate the possible consequences what you’re about to say could have, but despite them, you decide to do so anyway. If you’re going to hell, you might as well deserve it. “I’ve… I’ve never told anyone this but, since I was a kid, I… I felt different... than the other kids. The other girls,” Max listens to you attentively, trying to gauge if the secret you’re about to tell her is worth the deal, “I found out something about myself, about who I am, that made me–it made me think I was wrong. Broken,” your voice starts trembling at this point, and you have to fight to get your words through the tight knot that’s formed around your throat. “I didn’t know what to do, so I ran from it, I hid, and in doing so, I ended up hurting someone I care about. Someone I love,” you say, gaze downcast. “To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable with it. That scares me, but… it's been more than five years now and it hasn't gone away, and I'm afraid if don’t start being myself, I’ll never actually be at peace in my own skin,”

The vulnerability is making you feel exposed, and you’re transported to the past. Suddenly, you are a meek 12 years old in a confessionary talking to the priest at church, your perverted thoughts leaving your mouth in hushed whispers, ashamed of yourself, and asking for forgiveness from a God you don’t believe in. Taking a deep breath, you looked at her straight in the eye and prepared to confess, “I… I like… I like girls. In the way… that boys like girls.”

The size of the revelation, you think you are supposed to feel like the world has moved off its axis, but instead, you’re just overwhelmed by a deep sense of peace. A huge weight feels like it’s been lifted off your shoulders, and you don’t think you’ve ever been able to breathe in your life as you do just now. You smile. Actually, truly smile in what feels like years, and when you touch your cheeks, you feel them damp from the tears that fall from your eyes, and you laugh, you laugh like a little kid ‘cause you’re finally free. This truth is no longer yours to bear anymore and you’re free.

Max is quiet in front of you, taking in what you’ve just told her, and when she speaks again, you’re afraid of what she’ll say, but she completely dismisses your admission. “My brother,” Max says, “My brother was a jerk. He was a jerk and I hated him, and I wanted him gone and I couldn’t stand him. And then–then he died,” her voice cracks, and she takes a deep breath, collecting herself “And none of the facts stopped being true, but–but it’s all–it’s all my fault. I couldn’t save him. I just stood there watching as that–that monster killed him,” she lifts her eyes from the floor to search for answers in yours, “I failed him, and I don’t know what to do ‘cause I wished for him to be gone so many times and now he finally is and I just miss him. And it didn’t take me but God sometimes I wish it had,” a sardonic smile takes over her face as she lets out a humorless laugh. “And then I’m faced with how much of a liar and a coward I am ‘cause I don’t want to die, not really… but maybe it would get rid of the guilt and I can’t bear with it anymore. I just can’t. I cant.”

No longer do you see the broody teen that used to be in front of you, but a child, a child who’s terrified to death of what’s about to happen to her. “I’m scared,” she admits avoiding your eyes. “I’m so scared,” Carefully, you get up and go to hug her, giving her enough time to pull out of reach if she doesn’t want to, but surprisingly enough, when you hug her, she squeezes you tight while you rub circles with your hand in her back. The moment you stop hugging her she avoids your eyes, and you start walking to where the boys are discussing the Creel situation, figuring you should let her collect herself, before you hear her faintly say behind your back.

“I’ll keep it.”

You turn around, “What?”

“Your secret,” she looks at you in the eyes, a wisp of a small sympathetic smile in the corner of her lips, “I’ll keep it,”

You return it, grateful and relieved, “Thank you,”

She nods and you leave her be. That’s probably enough heart-to-heart conversations for now. You decide to take a nap, tired after being awake for almost two days straight, and you’re woken by the sound of rapid footsteps descending the stairs to the basement. Robin and Nancy stand at the base of the staircase, proud smiles lighting their faces up.

“Okay, so…” they exchange glances, “We have a plan.”

Once they’re sat, Robin proceeds with the explanation. “Thanks to Nancy’s newspaper minions, we are now rockstar psychology students at the University of Notre Dame,”

“I’m now Ruth,” Nancy announces.

“I’m Rose, and you,” Robin says, looking in your direction, “are F/N,”

“Ruth?” Steve inquires.

Nancy only shrugs with a smile and you gotta say, she does have a very Ruth face.

“So we called Pennhurst Asylum,” she continues, “told them we’d like to speak with Victor Creel for a thesis we’re co-writing on paranoid schizophrenics–”

“To which they said no.” Robin finishes.

“But we landed a three o’clock with the director,”

“Now all we have to do is charm him and convince him to let us talk to Victor,” sure, easy you think.

“And then maybe we can rid you and Max of this curse,” Nancy says sympathetically, looking your way with a sad smile. You nod at her, appreciating the thought.

“Yeah, about that. We’ve been doing our Victor Creel homework, and, uh… we got some questions,” Steve adds.

“Lots of questions,” Lucas stresses.

“So do we. Hopefully, Victor has the answers,” Nancy responds.

As Steve sifts through the folder, confusion overtakes his face, “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second. Uh… where’s mine?”

Ooh, low blow.

You can’t help but giggle as you enter Nancy’s room, Steve hurrying after Nancy in front of you. The room is as pink and feminine as you expected from her, and you are unable no to gape a little bit. After your dad died, you and your mom weren’t exactly left in the best economic situation, so seeing Nancy’s room brings a slight feeling of envy. You could only dream of having something as nice as this.

“Nancy, you’re outta your mind if you think I’m babysitting again,” Steve protests.

“Okay, first of all, they’re not babies anymore; and Max is in real danger, she needs people around her,” Nancy argues back. Gee, you feel for him, you really do, but Nancy’s right. Someone needs to watch the kids and turns out Steve has a knack for it.

“I know, but why does it always have to be me? Why can’t she do it?” he points his finger to you, accusingly.

“Hey, don’t pin this on the dying girl, pretty boy,” you retort. Maybe the guilt-tripping isn’t the most moral thing to do, but as much as you like Max, Dustin, and Lucas, you wouldn’t be exactly thrilled to spend your last moments alive with them.

Robin joins the conversation as she enters the room, eyes taking it all in with a grin on her face, “Oh my god, you have a Tom Cruise poster,” she turns around to look at Nancy, a cute grin on her face as she regards her curiously “You have a Tom Cruise poster” she drawls suggestively.

“That’s… old” you snort at that. Sure, Nance, sure.

Robin laughs and you think you fall in love all over again. She starts to rummage through Nancy’s stuff and it occurs to you that she resembles a small child that’s just consumed too much sugar, eyes bright and curious. You look at her with what you think must be the most pathetic lovestruck expression ever, but you don’t care, you don’t mind how lame or pathetic you look.

Because it’s her, and you love her.

Nancy, though, doesn’t share your perspective, “Can you please not touch anything?” she pleads exasperated. Robin just smiles her way, completely ignoring her.

“I can’t do anything here, Nance. Maybe I can be helpful with this asylum director dude. I don’t know, I could like–turn on my charm,”

“What charm?” you tease with a shit-eating grin. He just glares at you, but it’s worth it when you hear Robin guffaw with laughter

“Good one,” she says approvingly, palm up for a high-five.

You slap her hand and hear Nancy speak again, “Not the charm we need,”

“Ouch,” is Steve’s only response.

“No, I just,” she sighs, “Look, I–I did a little digging last night and it turns out this Dr. Hatch is a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and a Harvard visiting scholar, okay?” and you’re supposed to convince… that dude. You.

Shit.

“This is a lifelong student of the world, and if we’re gonna win him over we have to convince him we are too. That like him, we are true academic scholars,”

“Holy shit, there’s a little ballerina in here,”

You all turn to look at Robin, who holds a music box in her hand, as she bites her lip with an amused expression, and you have to resist the urge to face palm yourself. This is your best friend and you love her, this is your best friend and you love her. Steve looks at Nancy, his face the visual representation of ‘Are you serious?’

“Academic scholar? She’s giving you an academic scholar vibe? Yeah,” he deadpans.

“Hey! You’re talking about the girl who helped you decipher the Russians' message and can speak several languages, be more respectful!” you say, holding your laughter as you slap his arm. He grunts and Robin looks your way, a blush painting her cheeks, before addressing Steve with a smug smirk.

“What she said.”

“She may not give a scholar vibe now,” Nancy trails off as she searches through her closet, before finally holding out a pink shirt and looking at Robin. “But she will.”

“Oh, please tell me that you’re joking,” she responds, horrified.

Okay, now you do laugh.

Robin’s route: Part 9 | Part 10

Eddie’s route: Part 9 | Part 10

#robin buckley x reader #eddie munson x reader #robin buckley #eddie munson #robin buckley imagine #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader

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kinard-buckley · 1 year

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i think what struck me the most about the buckley parents last night was that they're ostensibly trying to make nice for the sake of their granddaughter and it all looks pleasant on the surface but they're not doing it the right way. it's like taking a house with a rotten foundation and wallpapering over the holes without actually taking time to fix the house. eventually that house will come crashing down without the proper care and repair. it's possible the family is working on this behind the scenes but, tbh, that's not really how the show works. we've been shown eddie going to therapy, hen and karen working on their marriage, bobby struggling with his sobriety, etc. i think if the show really intends to repair the buckleys relationship with their kids and give them some sort of "redemption arc" we're going to see the actual work being put in. so, no, i don't think the characters are at that place yet.

i think the buckley parents probably have a vague desire to fix their relationship with buck and maddie but haven't done anything significant yet to address their own failures in raising their kids (and if they continue to not do that, this isn't going to work)

(and now i'm making connections between the buckley parents' relationship with buck and maddie vs. maddie and chim's fixer-upper...)

#911 on fox #911 #evan buckley #maddie buckley #margaret buckley #phillip buckley #buckley parents #buckley sibs #911 spoilers #text

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libraryofloveletters · 3 years

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Just A Phase

Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, typical high school nonsense, kinda rude behaviour at first meet, mentions of weed/alcohol and the consumption of, typical cocky jock behaviour, few swear words, being tipsy/drunk

Category: fluff and a little angst

Word Count: 5.4k

Author’s Note: I just started writing and this is where I ended up so yeah also I feel like I haven’t written in a million years, forgive me if this is shitty // I referred to Buck as Evan for the first little bit because he and the reader had been introduced yet. // thank you to my darling @floralbuckleys for their help!

----

Senior Year Of High School.

Evan Buckley, certified jock and bad boy.

He was the type of guy that only had a soft spot for you, but you didn’t know that yet. Truthfully he wasn’t a mean guy - people just perceived him that way because he was on the football team and popular. He had somewhat of a troublesome reputation.

People knew where he went, trouble followed.

You, on the other hand, came from a somewhat above average family. Your mom’s a nurse and dad’s a lawyer. They always had big hopes and dreams for you, for you to go off to Harvard in the fall and follow in your father’s footsteps but you didn’t want that.

You dreamt of being a writer - you couldn't bring yourself to tell your parents that. Since you were young, they had instilled “you’re going to go to Harvard” in you.

You couldn’t back out now.

See, high school worked a certain way. You kept to your circles and didn’t mingle with those that didn’t fit into your circle. You and Evan didn’t run in the same circle - he was a troublesome jock and you were a smart preppy girl.

Being the preppy kid meant volunteering where you could to bulk up your college application hence why you were at school on a Friday afternoon, waiting for the kids to show up. You were part of some tutor program that your chemistry teacher put you into.

It was mostly just kids that needed some clarification on their work and the occasional jock that needed to pass a course to stay on the team.

You weren't surprised when a group of noisy jocks stumbled in the study hall, reeking of sweat from practice.

You were surprised to see Evan, he hadn't been in there before.

“Settle down boys” Mrs. Jacobs told them before sending each guy off to a tutor, leaving Evan standing beside her. “You can head over to y/n” she pointed at you, you gave him a small smile when you glanced up. He looked unpleasant, like he didn’t want to be there.

He made his way over nonetheless. “Good afternoon” you say quietly, unsure if he heard you. He grumbles a hello as he sits down.

The first few minutes, it was quiet. He sat there flipping through his textbook and scribbling down answers into the notebook in front of him.

“Is there anything I can help you-” “I'm not stupid.”

You glance at him, eyes catching his blue ones looking back at you. “I never said you were.”

“I'm only here because I didn’t turn in my mid term project and now stupid Mr. Jefferson thinks I don't understand this shit” he explains himself.

You hum, glancing down at the notebook in front of him, pulling it towards you. Reading over the sheet, all the answers were right. A hum of satisfaction slips pass your lips as you slide the notebook back over to him.

“Not just another dumb jock then.” your eyes study his face after the statement. His lips curl into a small smile, a hum as he turns his attention back to his paper.

“So prep life must be dull - no parties, all study.”

“Who says prep kids don't party ?”

He chuckles, “maybe the lack of prep kids at the parties.” “I’ll have you know, I party plenty, Evan.”

Once again, he chuckles. “The phrasing of that statement shows that you clearly don’t- but call me Buck, all the guys do.” he slides the notebook over to you.

“Check this over, I'll be back” you watched as he stepped out of the study hall and disappeared into the hallway.

A few minutes pass by, you’re tired and in need of a nap but you blink away the tiredness to read his work. There’s a voice behind you and then you feel something heavy on your chair. Leaning back to figure out what it was, the back of your head hit something hard. You shift in your seat and look up to see your head has hit Buck’s torso.

“How's the work, peach ?” his voice is low, the drop in octave from before causes butterflies in your stomach.

Your brows furrow at the nickname, he noticed your confusion and glances down at your top and your eyes follow his only to see that your peach colour bra was sticking out from the top of your shirt.

You had stretched back into your seat when he stepped out and you hadn't noticed the shift in your clothing.

Pulling the top of your shirt back up, he smiles and returns to his seat. You clear your throat, head down and eyes on the work in front of you as you could feel the blush on your face.

“Um, the work is fine.”

“Do you have plans tonight ?”

“No, why?”

“Come with me to Johnson’s party, you can show me how prep kids party” he smiles, his words are teasing you- taunting you even. “I would, but my parents are out of town so I don’t have the car and I have to watch the house.”

“The house won’t disappear if you’re gone for a few hours and I'll pick you up then. What’s your address ?”

“Buck, I really shouldn't”

“Y/n, come on. Pull the stick out your ass for one night and enjoy senior year. You can go back to Harvard prep tomorrow.”

His word choice doesn't shock you, it’s quite on brand for him. He’s looking at you, waiting for your answer and you can't help but give in.

Taking the pen from him, you scribble your address and number on his notebook. “See you at 7?” picking your bag up before slinging it over your shoulder.

“7? Peach, the party doesn’t start ‘till 9. I’ll pick you up at 10:30.”

“Oh um- okay.” you hum, confused but you agree anyways.

---

10:45 and you were sitting on your couch, glancing at your phone and back to the window.

You had been stood up once before but to be stood up by a jock, and a popular one ? Will be the death of any social life you had.

Finally there’s a knock on your door and you get up a little faster than you would have liked but you make your way over. Pulling it open, you met with Buck.

“Ready ?”

“Sure, let me grab my phone” you leave the door open, stepping back to the couch. Buck had disappeared from the doorway when you returned, you locked up and followed what looked like headlights to the driveway.

Buck sat on his bike, he scoots forwards a bit before patting the space behind him.

“No.” you mumble.

“What ?”

“I’m not getting on that thing.”

“That thing ? I'm offended. Come on, you’ll be fine.”

“Evan, no.”

Buck gets up, making his way over to you. His hands grab yours, looking at you now. “Y/n, I promise you that you’ll be fine. Can we go now ?”

“I’ll kill you if something happens to you” you grumbled as you reluctantly made your way over to the bike. Buck gets on first, you mirror his actions. Your hands were to your side, Buck reached back and wrapped them around his waist.

“You good back there ?”

“As good as I could be.”

The house, who you assumed belonged to Johnson’s parents, (you had no idea who Johnson was because you barely ever went to the football games) reeked of alcohol and weed.

Your face didn’t hide your displeasure as well as you thought it had. Buck chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder.

“So is this what you do ?” you shout over the loud music, Buck was saying hello to someone he knew and wasn't paying attention to what you had asked him.

You manage to wiggle your way out of his grip and find your way to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later that Buck finds you sipping on a beer.

“You drink ?” he gives you a questionable look with a smile on his face.

“You brought me to a party so I'll do what people do at a party” you hum, leaning back against the counter. He finds his way to you, leaning back against the counter too.

“Enjoying the party ?”

“Not really, you kinda left me to talk to some guy for twenty minutes”

“That guy happens to be our star quarterback.”

“I care why?” you glance up at him. Buck’s face is pure amusement, you aren't sure if you’re the cause of that or something else but the way he's looking at you- you can feel the butterflies again.

“Buck!” a group of guys shout as they make their way into the kitchen. They all say hello to him, some are drinking, some are shoving chips into their mouths.

You stay quiet while Buck talks to them and judging by their varsity jackets, it was safe to assume that they were on the team with Buck.

“Who’s your friend ?” a brunette guy asks him, stepping towards you.

“I’m y/n, you are?” you ask before Buck could.

“Mike, call me Johnson.”

“Oh, so this is your place ? Cute house” you give him a smile, he laughs.

“How do you know Buck?” Johnson asks, he was nosy for a drunk guy.

“Just bumped into each other, we have class together” you lie, not sure if Buck wanted them to know how you really met, Buck gives you a small smile.

“You’re pretty, how about a dance ?” his hand grabs yours.

“Thanks but no thanks” you give a polite smile before pulling your hand away.

Johnson takes a step forward, his hand reaching out and grabbing your hip. “C’mon, dance with me” you could smell the alcohol on him- he reeked. You push his hand off, “I said no thank you” you tell him once more, being ever so polite.

“Y/n, c’mon, one dance baby” he takes another step, he’s now face to face with you. Before you could say anything, Buck is in front of you, between you and Johnson.

“Dude, she said no. Leave her alone.”

Buck’s sudden need to protect you was much appreciated. Usually if a guy did that, especially a jock, you’d be weird out because they never pay attention to you- but Buck, you had this indescribable feeling, pride, satisfaction, maybe even relief ?

“She’s not even your girl, why are you protecting her?”

“Doesn’t matter, she said no so get out of her fucking face.” Buck’s hand was against his chest, pushing him away as his other hand reached back for yours. It would be cheesy to say that your hand fit in his like it was made to be there but it was true.

Buck’s hand was still in yours as he pulled you out the back door. Your back was up against the wall as he stood in front of you.

“Are you okay ?” you could hear the concern in his voice - different from his usual tone.

At a loss for words, his eyes study your face. Johnson was a douche and he knew that, he mentally cursed himself for even bringing you here.

“Y/n.. talk to me” he takes a step towards you.

“Buck,” your hand presses against his chest, “I'm fine. It’s not the first time a drunk guy has hit on me”

A breath of relief slipped past his lips, “do you want to leave?” his face softens when he asks. “No, I'm alright.”

“Stay here, I'll be back” his hand comes down and squeezes your waist gently before he steps back into the house.

It was a while before Buck returned. He had disappeared into the house for half an hour and when he returned, you were by the pool with a pingpong ball in hand.

“Suck it!” your loud laugh filled his ears, you took a sip from the red cup in your hand and you watched as the guy across from you drank the beer in the cup that the ball landed in.

“Looks like you’re having fun” Buck smiles, now beside you.

“Hey!” you reeked of beer at this point. “I’m having fun” your words come out in a slurred mumble.

“Mhm okay, I think it’s time to head home” Buck takes the cup from you and sets it down.

“What ?” Your hand reaches for the cup again, a pout evident on your face.

Buck’s hands finds your waist, hoisting you up and over his shoulder. A louder than expected gasp left your mouth, you felt the cold breeze against your legs as he walked towards the front of the yard.

He put you down in the backseat of a car but you knew you came with his bike so you were confused, just as you go to ask, he scoots you over and gets in the back with you. Buck’s arm is over your shoulder, you’re so tired that you just lean into him.

You had noticed you fell asleep and when you woke, you were on the porch swing at your house with Buck’s hand in your pocket.

“Whatcha looking for?” he glances up at you when he hears your voice.

“Keys.”

“Other pocket”

He manages to find the keys and get the door open. Getting you in the house was another story. “Y/n, come on” he pulls your hands in an attempt to get you up but you weren’t budging.

What happened to you being a prep kid and not drinking ? He didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk that fast.

“No, tired” you mumbles, making yourself comfortable on the porch swing. “Do you want your parents to come home and find you here? I’m cool with leaving you here if that’s the case” Buck teased, he had no idea when your parents were coming home.

The mention of your parents finding you outside, drunk, horrified you. You got up so quick, you nearly toppled over. Buck helped you inside and onto the couch. He disappeared for a moment and then returned with a glass of water.

“Small sips” he settles beside you, watching as you take a sip. You hum, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm comes over your shoulder.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

He felt your head shift, now looking up at him, eyes full of sleep. You were studying his face, from the birthmark above his eye to his pink lips.

“I really like you, you know” your words filled with sleep as your eyes drooped, you blinked a few times, forcing yourself to stay awake.

Buck chuckles, “that’ll pass peach, I’m just a phase.” He hummed quietly, fingers running through your hair as you drift to sleep.

The Monday after the party, you saw Buck in the hallway after waking up to an empty house on the couch, head pounding even in the deafening silence and and you can’t quite remember how you got home.

Buck had been radio silence since then but you weren't sure why. He was walking in from the front doors and you were by your locker. You turn to speak to him but he barely glances at you before continuing his conversation with Johnson.

From that day, you never spoke to Buck again. Last you saw him was graduation day and last you had heard was that he was in college and you were headed off to Harvard.

----

Present.

You had become a big shot lawyer, everything your parents wanted. Moved out to LA to start your own firm and everything was going well until this morning.

You had barely walked into the office when the fire alarm went off. The sudden alarm caused an onset of commotion in the office, the woman next to you bumped into you, spilling your hot cup of coffee onto you.

She mumbled a sorry as she passed but you could feel the heat coming from where the liquid had spilt. Nonetheless, you made your way out, the sound of the sirens from fire trucks blaring.

Not that you didn’t enjoy seeing the handsome firefighters (or so your co-workers seem to say) but you had a ton of paperwork to do for an upcoming case you had and you barely started.

You stood by the curb, watching as the firefighters made their way over to the crowd and into the building to clear it.

“Ma'am ?” A firefighter made his way over to you, there was a helmet in his hand as he passed a hand through his hair. You glance up from your phone, to see what he wanted.

“May I take a look?” his eyes shifted to your chest where there is currently a coffee stain on your white shirt. “Oh, thank you but no. I’m fine”

“Are you sure? Because that’ll leave a pretty nasty mark if you don't get it cleaned. If you aren’t comfortable, we have a female medic” he offered, hoping you’d consider.

“You’re a medic ?” you asked, looking him up and down. He nods, taking a step back. He begins walking back to the ambulance and you follow him. “Do you want me to get her?”

“No, you’re a professional, it’s cool” you give him a small smile before moving your shirt so he could check.

The firefighter’s hand was now right under your collarbone, dabbing at your skin with some gauze. His fingers were cold, you weren’t sure if it was actually his fingers or the gloves that were cold but either way you looked at him.

“What’s your name ?”

“Diaz, Eddie Diaz” he tells you, flashing you a smile before going back to his job.

You hum, staying still as Eddie rubs something on your skin.

That’s when you saw him.

The same blue eyes, the same blonde hair, the same gorgeous smile that always played in your mind. Not a day went by that you didn’t think of him. You had always wondered what he ended up doing, he was smart and destined for great things, there was more for him than a small life in a place where no one ever really did anything.

Every guy you had dated, you compared to him. It was always something- they didn’t look like him, they didn’t act like him, they didn’t treat you the way he did, they wouldn't stand up for you like he did.

He lived rent free in your mind.

“Ma'am?” Eddie’s voice broke your gaze. “Y/n,” you corrected him, “ma’am is for old women” your eyes going back to Buck. Eddie noticed your lack of attention and followed your gaze.

“Do you know Buck?”

“He still lets people call him that ?” you chuckle to yourself, feeling Eddie’s eyes burning a hole into you.

Before you could answer, his radio buzzed before a voice came through, “building’s clear. Start directing people back in.” Eddie looks over at you, you’re already getting out of the ambulance.

“Keep that clean and dry” were his last words to you after you left.

---

It wasn’t until you were back in the building that you realized your phone was in the ambulance.

You were majorly screwed.

Remembering the medic’s name which was the only thing you remember mids the confusion and seeing Buck after 10+ years. You asked around the office if anyone knew what station responded to the call. You had contacts that worked for the city but the lack of phone made it hard for you to call and find out.

Finally giving in, you google the medic’s name. There were a few articles that had photos but none of them said anything that helped. There was a video from Taylor Kelly at channel 8 news, some sort of video about the fire station.

Station 118- that was 10 minutes down the road and you pass it everyday on the way to work. The thoughts began filling your head, had Buck been there all along?

12 years- 12 long, empty years that you acted like he didn’t exist and that you didn’t want to know what happened between you two but he was right down the road.

You didn’t even know if you wanted to talk to him. You had finally come to peace with it even though a part of you will always long for what could have been. Feelings aside, you set out to the station to get your phone.

Upon arriving, there were a few guys by the trucks. You asked for Eddie, assuming that he might have an idea of where your phone ended up or if they even found it.

“Up the stairs and he should be somewhere up there” the guy pointed, you thanked him before heading towards the stairs. When you got upstairs, it was empty.

You weren't sure if you should go back down or wait so you sort of awkwardly stood there, glancing around the room. The station was nicer than you had imagined it to be, not that you really had an idea of what to expect.

Your back was to the kitchen when someone tapped your shoulder. “Can I help you?” his voice called out as you turned.

Buck.

You let out a breath, your eyes studying his perfect face for a moment. Do you say something or just pretend like you didn’t know him?

“Yeah, I'm uh- I'm looking for Eddie. I think I left my phone in the ambulance.”

“Do I know you from somewhere ?”

“I work at the building down the road, 14th street. You guys were there earlier, hence the phone in the ambulance” you tell him, hoping he drops the topic.

“Y/n! Hey! What are you doing here?” You see Eddie call from behind Buck.

Thank god.

“I left my phone in the ambulance. I figured you’d know what happened to it” you’ve stepped past Buck and towards Eddie now. “I haven’t seen it, but maybe it’s still in there. Come with me, we can check for it”

Eddie was making his way down the stairs and you were behind him when Buck called your name.

Not y/n.

Peach.

You paused, taking a deep breath in before turning to face him. “I thought I remembered you from somewhere” he smiled, him and his stupid smile.

“I’m in a rush, Evan. Plus, I'm not in the mood to reminisce.”

The smile dropped from his face, the guilt crept up on you. The feeling of your stomach twisting, sighing before making your way down to Eddie who was by the ambulance, your phone in hand.

“There’s more to the story than I thought,” Eddie hands the phone over, you give him a hum and thank him. “Let me walk you out.” he follows you out to your car.

“You know, whatever he did- he’s changed. He’s a good guy.” Eddie says, his voice sincere.

“I know, I just- I don't know”

“What did he do? If I can ask”

“We were- I don't know what we were. We hung out in high school, just once but he was different from the other guys. He genuinely cared. We went to a party together and he brought me home after. I remember falling asleep with him in the house and the next morning he was gone. Total radio silence that whole weekend and when I saw him at school the following week, he acted like he didn’t know me - it was like that for the rest of senior year. We never spoke after that.”

Here you were pouring your heart out to a firefighter who you had only met an hour ago who also had seen your bare chest (in a professional way, of course) on a Tuesday morning in the parking lot.

“Wow- I can see why you wouldn’t want to talk to him.”

“Yeah, thank you for the phone though. I gotta get back to work”

“Wait, let me get your number”

You pause, looking at him with furrowed brows. He seemed confused then he realized how that sounded. “Oh god- no not like that, sorry. I meant maybe we could grab a drink sometimes, as friends and maybe you could tell me more about high school Buck ?”

“Um- yes to the number and drinks but I don’t know about Buck” you hand the phone back over to him, telling him that you’d text him.

---

It was a while before you heard from Eddie, he said he was off on Saturday if you were up for drinks and weren't busy. The whole team was going out but he invited you along to join them.

After some back and forth “I couldn't intrude” and “you won’t be, come join us” you finally gave in.

Now it’s 9pm and you, Eddie and Buck are sitting at a booth. Coincidentally, everyone else was busy. Chimney and Hen who you hadn’t met yet, were with their significant others and kids. So that left the 3 of you together.

You wanted to walk back out when you saw it was only the two of them but Eddie had seen you and called you over. His phone buzzed just as Buck came back with drinks.

“Everything okay?” Buck asked his friend, Eddie, still typing away on his phone. “Huh? Yeah, it’s Carla. Chris is running a fever” you could hear the concern in his voice.

“Chris is your son?”

“Yeah- I'm sorry I got to go. I’ll make it up to you. Drinks on me another night” Eddie gave your shoulder a squeeze as he stood.

“No yeah, of course. Go, it’s fine” you smiled.

“Let me know if you need anything” Buck shifts towards Eddie, the two of them seem to have some sort of routine or way of how things work between them.

And now there were two.

Buck sipped on his beer, you sat across from him, your nails tapping against the bottle in front of you. He was the first one to speak.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Good too. I don’t know if you remember my sister but she had a baby recently so I've been hanging out with her after work”

“Oh, that’s nice. Maddie right?”

“Yeah, she had a little girl. She’s the cutest little girl ever.” Buck pulls his phone out, showing you a photo of him holding a baby in a blanket with a brunette beside him. The woman beside him, Maddie you assumed, was smiling at Buck, fixing the blanket while he looked at the camera, the joy evident on his face.

“She’s adorable and your sister looks the same, she hasn’t aged a day” you hum, passing the phone over to him.

Back to awkward silence.

“What happened to us?” Buck’s question catches you off guard.

“What happened to us? You happened.”

“What? I thought we were friends.” Your eyes met, his full of confusion and yours with displeasure.

“Friends don’t disappear in the middle of the night with no explanation and ignore them for the rest of senior year.” You get up, grab your phone and make your way to the door. Buck’s calling out to you but you don’t want to stop and talk to him.

The night was cold, the wind hit your bare shoulders and you shivered for a moment before walking. Buck was still calling out your name, he had followed you out the bar.

“Y/n! Stop! Y/n, c’mon. Please!” His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You pull your hand back.

“No! You don’t get to do that. Act like everything is fine when you disappeared with no explanation. I know we weren’t best friends but I thought we were at least friends. That fucking hurt, Evan.”

“Fine,” he sighs, looking at you. “You want the truth ?” Your brows raised, waiting for him to continue.

“You told me you liked me. You were a good kid, going to Harvard, which you obviously did” gesturing at you, he continued. “I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to be by my side until I figured it out. I knew you would resent me for that and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t do it to myself.”

“That’s selfish. It’s about you ? That’s why you left with no explanation ? You couldn’t do it to yourself ? Man the fuck up Buck, life isn’t about you.”

“You think I don’t know that ?! You think I didn’t think about you all the time? That I didn’t miss you?”

“Don’t start with that shit. You knew where I would be. You said it yourself, I was “a good kid, going to Harvard” so if you really missed me, you could have found me.”

“Y/n, be real. We were just out of high school, what means did I have to go searching for you? I had my own shit to deal with.”

“Just stop, I don’t even want to know.”

“No, you stop”

“No you.”

“Y/n” his voice was stern, the annoyance clearly there.

“Evan.” your tone matched his.

That stupid smug smile of his was on his face, that was enough to make you roll your eyes. “’Kay, I'm over your shit.” turning away from him, you go to walk away but his hand grabs yours.

Still fit like it was made to be there.

Before you could register what was happening, Buck’s lips were on yours. Maybe time stopped when Buck’s lips met yours but your heart didn’t- it felt like it was beating a million times seconds and the butterflies in your stomach were restless.

It wasn't clear to either of you at the moment that it had started pouring rain but it didn’t matter. There was this raw emotion in the way his hands felt on your waist or how his chest was pressed to yours.

Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t open his eyes slightly, sneaking a guilty peek at you just to make sure you weren’t a fiction of his imagination. Every breath he took smelt of lavender and honey, the same scent that had lingered on his mind since the day he met you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible.

Maybe this was meant to be, fate bringing back what was meant for him to him or maybe this really was all a fabrication of his imagination but he wanted to live in his moment forever.

It wasn't until thunder rumbled that he pulled away. The rain had soaked your clothes and hair, your makeup had smudged and half of your lipstick was on Buck.

The same stupid smug smile on his face.

“God,” rolling your eyes at him. “You’re so annoying.” wiping your lips with the back on your hand, hoping that you got all the lipstick off.

“Yeah, I'm the annoying one” Buck’s face twisted, giving you a playful shove as you stepped towards him. Your thumb comes up to wipe the lipstick off him. Buck’s arm lifts, now over your shoulder.

The two of you looked at each other as you made your way down the street.

“Just a phase huh ?” you hum, glancing at Buck.

The blonde let out a chuckle, “maybe not.”

---

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creativeashproductions · 3 years

Text

Proceed With Caution // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: The reader doesn’t expect to become involved in a hostage situation with her fiance’s older sister, the older sister’s best friend and the best friend’s date from hell. With the addition of a SWAT member, how will the taking of dispatch change?

Warnings: Swearing, blood, threats, angst, guns, hostage/kidnapping

Words: 5.9k

A/N: Recently got into the tv show 9-1-1 and completely fell in love with Buck so here I am writing for him as well. This takes place during the season three episode ‘The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1’. Reader and Buck are already in an established relationship.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

The apartment was quiet as the sound of your keys clattered in the bowl on the countertop. It was pretty early in the morning, so you had no doubts that Buck would be just waking up. On his days off, he would use the first day to catch up on sleep; based on prior times, he would be up in half an hour.

“Buck?” You called out from the kitchen. You heard a groan from the loft where Buck was in the process of waking up, “I forgot to drop off that book Maddie wants to borrow. When I get back, do you want to get breakfast?”

A grumble you somehow translated to approval was what you received in response. You jogged up the stairs to the loft to grab the book from your bookshelf. Buck’s bare leg stretched out from underneath the comforter on your side. The soft sighs Buck made in his sleepy state tugged at your heart; the sighs grew louder when you bent to kiss his head.

“See you in a bit.” You whispered to the sleepy soft male. He sleepily grinned in response before curling into your pillow.

The sound of your footsteps softened on the steps back to the main level of the apartment. Your keys snagged from the bowl before you gently closed the door behind you. The sun was gorgeous to be awake to see and had Buck not worked a long shift, you’d have adored watching it with him.

Your car pulled out of the parking spot in the Los Angeles Service Center’s direction that Maddie worked at. Your lips quirked as the radio spewed out the station that Christopher listened to in the car. You could even pick up the book in the backseat where he called his spot. The book could be found in Buck’s Jeep as well.

It had maybe three days since you’d seen the young Diaz, and damn did you miss the kid. Christopher has his enigmatic quality that demanded you love him for all that made him simply Christopher. The second you’d met him, you knew he would mean a lot to you.

You hummed in time with the song that was currently Christopher’s absolute favourite. Slowly you went from humming to singing along when the light turned green. A handful of songs came and went on the admittedly long drive due to traffic.

It was about forty minutes after leaving your apartment that you parked next to Maddie’s car in the parking lot. Lucy was sitting at the front office with a grin you matched. The woman buzzed you before she clocked out with her reprieve Jake.

“Hey, Sue!” You grinned at the older redhead. Sue had absolutely no problem seeing you, given that you were welcome in the building.

Sue’s first interaction was when you came to the centre to pick up Maddie when she came to work sick. Maddie had managed to keep it under wraps for an hour before Sue caught on. Ever since, Sue was fond of asking Maddie about her brother and you.

“Maddie’s not in just yet.” Sue spoke with a kind smile, “If you’ll excuse me, I have to meet with one of our sit alongs.”

You nodded towards her while beelining for the woman’s bathroom, hoping to catch Maddie after using it. You’d drank too much water on your run earlier this morning. Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate in the time you’d entered the bathroom, several things happened. Lucy ended her shift, Jake started his shift, and a group of strangers entered the building.

Your hand went to push open the door when through the crack, you saw two men you’d never seen before. Years of your job gave you enough feeling to know that something wasn’t right. That being said, you eased the door closed and attempted to find a hiding spot.

The garbage was too narrow and had no lid. The few seconds you had left, you glanced up. The ceiling hadn’t been renovated in many years. Rectangular sheets could be raised. Thankful of the rock climbing lessons you’d done with Maddie, you managed to crawl into the ceiling just as the two men entered.

“Nobody’s here.” The one-man with his head as pale and shiny as a cue ball. He gave off the most creepy vibe; the shorter Hispanic man wasn’t as violent looking, “Kinda hoping someone tries something. I’ve wanted to try out this.”

The man waved the large gun in his hand with a sick smile that twisted your stomach. That was the moment you’d realized something was very wrong. The second they left, you gently dropped back on the ground. Your first instinct was to send a message to Athena, but there was a fatal flaw. You’d expected to be in and out of the building quickly, so you’d left your phone in the car.

“Fuck.” You swore. One hand roughly running over your forehead as you contemplated figuring out a plan.

The building had many cameras throughout that you knew the blindspots for. The year after high school and during the summers, you’d worked in the building. Despite having worked here when you were younger, it was never during Sue’s shift. Over the years, you’d come to know the blind spots and a few cameras that were decoys. You even remembered Maddie and her friend Josh complaining about three cameras not fixed yet.

“Think.” You breathed, making a pattern of pacing, “They’ll need a lookout. They’ll take out the security guard first. The front doors are out. It’s a team, so they’ll also need eyes on the building. Terry is definitely a hostage.”

Of course, you’d end up in a volatile situation during the first half of your day before your shift started. The only comforting thing about the situation was the holstered gun on your hip and the badge on your belt. Maybe you should backtrack to why you had a gun and badge; you were an LAPD member, specifically SWAT.

“The changeroom.” You breathed, recalling it was down the hall with no camera. All you needed to do was pretend to be a dispatcher. The changeroom, now mostly a file room, had a few extra maroon and blue uniform shirts.

You timed it. The man holding Sue’s tablet was in the process of talking with his cohort, so you dashed to the room. You took no time in changing into a loose maroon shirt with your thick sweater overtop to hide the gun in the small of your back.

Your holster, badge and personal shirt tucked in the bottom of a box for safekeeping. As soon as you saw your entry, you sat with the group of hostages a hall over. A few looked surprised but let it go when you raised one finger to your lips.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Maddie hissed from the other side of a startled Josh. Both of them were surprised at seeing you here, “Oh my god. Buck is going to kill me.”

“I was dropping off your book before I get breakfast with Buck, but it appears my small bladder saved my life.” You snarked with your eyes scanning the room, “What’s going on?”

“That is my date from hell, Greg.” Josh inconspicuously pointed towards the man, clearly giving orders. The anger flared inside you, “You need to get out.”

“Josh, no offence, but I’m an officer with the LAPD. I work with SWAT. I’m your best bet of making it out alive.” You informed the dispatch duo, who went still as Cue Ball patrolled the hallway with a sadistic glint in his eyes.

“They took control of the building for a reason we don’t know about. We’re still working but under strict monitoring. They said it will be an hour, but we’ve seen their faces.”

“No witnesses.” You finished for Maddie with a deep sigh, “Unfortunately I left my phone in the car. Did they take yours-”

“They took Linda’s EpiPen. Of course, we don’t have phones.” Maddie sighed, leaning back to rest her head against the wall. Not even having a SWAT member by her side was comforting; your badge put a more significant target on you.

“We have to warn someone.” Josh mumbled to both Maddie and you, “You’re on shift Y/N?”

“Not for a few hours. I was supposed to drop off the book and get breakfast with Buck before my shift. This was supposed to be five minutes tops, so I left my phone in my car.”

“I already did.” Maddie spoke with a sad look on her face that overtook the fear, “I just hope he gets the message.”

Your hand reached out to squeeze the woman you’d had a hand in raising Buck more than their parents. Maddie had become family when you first started dating Buck. The in-law part of her familial relationship to you never crossed your minds; you were simply sisters to each other.

“Who?”

“Chim. I told him I loved him.” Maddie finished with a teary gaze. It made you sick seeing that look again after Doug.

You remembered seeing that haunted look when she stumbled out of the thicker woods covered in blood. You’d stayed by Athena’s side when Buck clutched her so tight and sobbed with her. It had been before you’d become serious with the man, but it was that frightening day that Buck fell for you. You’d just finished a taxing shift with your team when you heard about Maddie was missing, and Chim was in the hospital. You’d ignored the exhaustion to search high and low through your work contacts before narrowing the search area.

“Good thing Chimney obsesses over the little things.” You spoke, slouching down against the wall, “We’ll get throu-”

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Maddie warned you with her brows furrowed together, and you saw what she was doing. Despite your years of experience and the gun you had, she pushed her fear down behind the concern that a big sister shows her young siblings.

“I won’t.”

At 8am, Buck was just entering the apartment building from grabbing the mail addressed to both you and him when Chim had called.

“Yup, go for Buck.” Buck spoke, opening the door to the apartment he’d only temporarily left. His morning had been late after his long shift the night before. The most productive thing was dressing for his breakfast date with you and grabbing the mail.

“How come 9-1-1 doesn’t respond when I call?” Chimney questioned the younger, now confused male.

“Uh, is that some kind of riddle? Like who watches the watchmen?” Buck asked, closing the door behind him. His eyes scanned around for any indication you’d returned home, but the bowl was vacant of your keys.

“Neither of those things are riddles. Okay, I just tried calling 9-1-1, and I got the high call volume message. Did I miss an earthquake or something?”

“Nope, pretty chill morning.” Buck responded as he closed the fridge door with a bottle of water in hand. The entire conversation wasn’t concerning to him, given that Chimney was often like this.

“Where’s Y/N? She’s the police she’ll know-”

“She’s not home right now. Wait, why are you calling 9-1-1? Is everything okay?” Buck slowly asked with his brows coming together. The sigh of frustration from Chimney was answer enough.

“Your sister said that she loved me.”

“Yeah. Wasn’t that uh, the whole point in that big date you had last night?” Buck inquired on his way to the table. He had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation that would hopefully pass the time until you got home.

“You declare your love, and she declares hers? That’s how it went with Y/N and me.”

“Yeah, I know, okay, but she didn’t, all right? At least not last night. Look, she made this big deal saying that she couldn’t say those words, and then this morning, she blurts them out and hangs up on me.” Chimney speaks, pacing in his own apartment. The side by the side of Chimney and Buck’s separate apartments told different tales of their states.

“It’s still not quite sounding like an emergency.”

“’Cause I sound insane.” Chimney spoke, staring up at the ceiling with a battle in his mind. He wants Buck to talk him out of this, but he also wants Buck to agree with him, “She’s at the call centre. What could happen there? You know what, forget it, I’ll try Y/N again.”

“Again?” Buck questioned just as his co-worker ended the call. Buck tugged his phone away from his ear to stare at it confused.

You always answered the phone if you weren’t working at the moment, but given you still had hours, he found it unsettling. After seeing the news report with the ladder truck on top of him, calls weren’t ignored between you two. That feeling of concern grew when you didn’t answer his call either. Nor the second one.

“Nah, she’s probably talking with Maddie.” Buck spoke, but that second-guessing feeling didn’t dissipate.

In the call centre, you’d been marched to one of the stations with a deep hope that you’d remember everything. It had been years by then since you’d worked as a dispatcher. It didn’t help with the gunmen patrolling the room.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” You calmly questioned the caller.

“Hi, my cat is up the tree by my house. Could you send someone?”

“Can I get your name?” You went through the motions of getting her name and address before you informed the woman, “Okay, the LAFD and LAPD no longer respond to calls of cats in trees. The cat will make its way down on its own. If the tree is in your backyard, I’d use the time to garden or read a book on this beautiful day.”

“Oh, thank you. I’m sorry for taking up your time.”

“It’s no problem. Having a wonderful day Susan.”

In no time at all, you’d been rotated into the board room away from Josh and Maddie. It gave you time to inspect everyone you hadn’t made contact with yet. No one appeared harmed other than in distress with the situation.

“Downtown. They don’t want anyone downtown.” Linda whispered as Maddie was guided onto the floor by the elbow. You’d only gathered her name from her near-silent introduction to you when the hired guns had been far from your area.

“Let’s go.” Greg snapped, roughly pushing you towards the conference room. Something deep in your gut already predicted that someone was going to be stupid.

It was your sharp eyesight catching the minuscule agitation in Greg’s interactions with the Cue Ball guy. The slight tightening of his grip on the gun, the tension in the room growing stifling. And everyone knows that when emotions run high stupid things happen.

“Why do they keep moving us around like this?” The man beside Maddie questioned. He was definitely the most shaken of the group. He was basically shaking like a chihuahua.

“To disorient us.” Maddie spoke, staring at the group monitoring the dispatchers currently in play. Her eyes refused to leave them.

“So, we can’t make a plan.” You finished for your sister-in-law. Objectively out of everyone, Maddie, Sue and you were the most collected individuals for various reasons.

Maddie had lived in a volatile house with a man that could be unpredictable if a situation called for it in his mind. Sue had been working in the centre for years to navigate the emergency while you walked into dangerous situations.

“Jamal.” The shaking man spoke, holding his hand out towards you, “Are you new?”

“No.” You spoke as you shook his hand, “I’m Y/N. Maddie’s sister-in-law. I’m filling in as a favour for Sue.”

The lie slipped off your lips a little too quickly. You decided to come to this hostage situation as if you were undercover. It meant having to ignore that Maddie was in the situation with you.

“Worst day for a favour.” Jamal snorted with his eyes pinned on one of the armed men holding all your lives in their hands. You’d have spoken, but Jamal checked out mentally from the conversation waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The shoe dropped when the IT Specialist announced numbly, “Jake’s dead. They shot him.”

It didn’t matter how long you’d been working for the LAPD, any death, whether it was a civilian or a criminal, it was still was startling. Jake, the security guard that alternated shifts with Lucy, wasn’t someone you spoke with. He was on shift when you weren’t here or just missed the shift change.

“We need to get a message out.” Jamal spoke, glancing at the only people in the right state of mind, and those were Maddie, Josh and you. Terry had seen the violence these men had no issues with.

“I did.” Josh breathed, thinking of the arguably cute security guard he sometimes liked to stare at, “A woman called about onions in an omelette. I dispatched an officer.”

“To the restaurant?” Maddie inquired with her pinkie connected with yours for comfort. Both of you would prefer your SO’s hand instead.

“Not exactly.” Josh replied, staring at his best friend with a glimpse of hope in his brown eyes.

Hope may be the only way you could get out of this without hurting anyone in your admittedly surface level plan.

“Buck will think something is up.” You added

Buck had begun pacing the kitchen of the apartment with Chim adamantly telling his friend his plan to go to the centre. Buck had joined Chimney in the concerned department when you had failed to return to the apartment, return calls and to make matters worse, so was Maddie. His texts had gone unanswered as well, not even having the read receipt on.

“She’s not picking up either. I tried Y/N and Josh, but neither replied. When I tried Maddie and Josh, it went straight to voicemail.”

“Now, I’m definitely going.” Chimney announced, shoving his wallet into his pocket just as someone began knocking on his door.

“What if something is wrong? I know Y/N is a member of SWAT but radio silence? No text to let me know she was called in early?” Buck thought aloud with his finger dragging along his thigh, “Maybe we should call the police.”

“I...think someone already did.” Chimney informed Buck as he stared at the sudden appearance of Sergeant Athena Grant at his door.

“What? What do you mean?” Buck hastily questioned, leaning against the kitchen island. He could just faintly hear Athena speaking on Chimney’s end of the phone, “Chimney? What’s going on?”

“Athena was sent to my apartment. Hang on, Buck, I’m just gonna tell Athena what’s going on.”

Buck stepped away from the island to settle on the stairs to the loft, impatiently waiting for Chimney to finish speaking. That fear of losing pieces of his life expanded deep in his gut, just like the times Maddie left in his childhood. That fear of being left behind.

“What’s she’s saying now?”

“She’s making her case.” Chim whispered as he continued to eavesdrop on Athena’s call with her higher-ups, “Now she’s folding like a cheap suit.”

“All right, let me talk to Athena.” Buck demanded antsy to figure out the situation that clearly had something wrong. That fear he’d thought of early flared catching the tail end of Athena’s conversation, “No! No, no. We can’t just send in SWAT. If there is someone inside the call centre doing something, they’ll know we’re onto them.”

Unfortunately, Buck was correct in this thought process, all thanks to living with a SWAT member. He knew these things after the years he’d been with you.

“Maddie? I think I can sneak up to Terry’s computer. Maybe get eyes on the place-”

“No!” Terry nearly shouted, stiffening when Cue Ball hesitated in the doorway at his sudden shouts. You all held your breath for his reaction, but thankfully he was called away by one of the men, “They have-”

“Terry, I need you to calm down. I’m familiar with these types of situations. I’m SWAT. I need to get on top of this. Don’t be a hero.”

Maddie’s head began to shake when your arm was roughly grabbed by Greg, “Your turn.”

You were separated from Josh and Maddie, but instead of being pushed into one of the dispatcher seats, you were pulled to the original hallway.

“I don’t like how friendly you are with them.” Greg spat, shoving you to rest against the wall, “Don’t move.”

You catch the eyes of Maddie with an apologetic expression before you used the pacing routine to sneak away. You didn’t release your breath until you were attaching your holder to your hip in the change room. By now, your team would be aware that something was wrong, Hondo would be hell-bent on finding you.

Until you had help, you were on your own.

You used each blindspot of the cameras in the halls to the stairwell, and you used a broom to adjust the cameras. The cameras not kept you from view but not appearing suspicious. Once at the floor where Terry was practically always at you softly closed the door.

You’d only started to sit down when you heard the ding of the elevator, “Shit.”

You slipped into the closest containing extra parts if anything broke. Through the crack, you saw Terry being held at gunpoint. The gunman that had been holding the tablet on the floor, Ellis as you’d heard.

“You’re telling me every cop in the city has just disappeared?” Ellis demanded as Terry, and he disappeared around one of the corners. The tapping of a screen indicating Ellis was searching for something with Terry’s involuntary help.

“I’m telling you, I don’t know!” Terry snapped back, creating even more tension in the room, but Ellis didn’t move to grab his gun.

Ellis appeared to the only one reluctant to discharge your weapon, unlike Cue Ball, who just happened to join the party.

“Figure it out!” Ellis spat, turning on his heel at the sound of approaching footsteps. You could see him roll his eyes at his team member walking into the room.

“What’s going on here?” Cue ball questioned the duo in different kinds of distress, and you swore Cue Ball enjoyed the intimidation from his teammate and the IT specialist.

“That police car’s not the only one that’s gone dark.” Ellis nervously spoke, stiffening for the volatile reaction that one could expect from Foster.

“You think they know we’re here?”

“Foster, it could be a system glitch.” Ellis offered keeping one eye on Cue Ball while monitoring Terry’s work as well.

Cue Ball spoke a sentence that sent chills up your spine, “Time to cut our losses.”

As Foster and Ellis began going over their personal plans made out of Greg’s knowledge, you noticed Terry glance over. His eyes widened slightly before quickly looking away when you raised a finger across your lips.

“We can go down the back stairs. I have a car waiting around the corner, we split the art up between the five of us, and we go our separate ways.” Foster spoke, revealing his plan to double-cross Greg, which in all honesty made sense. Greg was ill-fitting to be in charge of their operation, unable to control his lackeys.

“I like that part of the deal.” Ellis breathed, skirting around the trigger happy criminal only to halt in his steps, “Wait, you’ve got a car parked down the street? You were always gonna double-cross Greg.”

“You weren’t?”

“If we’re gonna do this, you can’t just sell famous works of art on eBay.”

“You can’t sell them from prison either.”

At that moment, something almost shifted in the area, something that made you pull your gun from your holster. Your body telling you something was about to happen. It happened in a split second. Foster fled the room leaving only Ellis just outside. With Terry frantically shaking his head, you tiptoed to the unsuspecting criminal.

“LAPD!” You shouted, pointing your gun towards the shocked man, “Put the gun down and put your hands up.”

“Aren’t you a dispatcher?” Ellis questioned, blinking in surprise.

“Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent? Next time check the schedule I haven’t worked here in years.” You spat, keeping your gun pointed on him, “Do I say-”

The sound of two guns going off made Terry flinch and scream as he instinctively dropped to the ground. IT was supposed to be safe, but Terry had now heard three gunshots in under two hours. He really didn’t want to see the outcome of the shots.

A moan coaxed Terry to peek out through the privacy glass. Ellis was on the ground while you kept your gun on him. He didn’t see anything else when the power went out. He didn’t see you drop to your knees, but he heard you.

“Terry...get down. Lay on your stomach with your hands insight, and don’t move.” You informed the terrified IT just as the floor was swarmed.

“Put the gun down!” The sound of Tan’s voice was welcoming as you slowly placed the gun on the ground. “25-David I have Y/L/N. The suspect is down, need medical.”

You got back to your feet when Tan nodded his head, “Thank god. There’s a possible body in the IT room along with the It Specialist Terry.”

“You got your badge on you?” Tan questioned as he cuffed the moaning Ellis up, “Street can you escort her down?”

Street nodded from his position, watching Tan’s back before guiding you to the stairs with hawk eyes. Even off duty, you kept your head on a swivel.

“You caused quite the commotion.” Street spoke halfway down the stairs when you barely mumbled. He caught you as you went down like a sack of potatoes, “Y/N!”

“Adrenaline is crashing.” You moaned, looking at your shoulder where the maroon had grown darker, “I think he shot me.”

“26-David I’m in the stairway. Prepare a medic.” Street spoke into his radio before he strapped the gun away and swept you into his arms, “Think you can have my back?”

“When don’t I?” You wheezed, with the sweat starting to bead on your forehead. As you crashed from adrenaline, you barely noticed being placed on the ground at the main entrance.

A paramedic cutting your borrowed shirt to reveal the bullet hole in your shoulder courtesy of Ellis, the only member who’d thought wouldn’t shoot his gun. You could vaguely hear Maddie calling out your name as you were loaded onto a gurney.

“M-Maddie?” You spoke, tilting your head to see Chris holding Maddie back from, “Chris! That’s my sister in law.”

Chris only let Maddie go when Hondo gave the all-clear, and you were so thankful when Maddie’s hand encased yours.

“Don’t close your eyes.” Maddie pleaded sick with the amount of blood on your skin and soaking through the gauze, “Who’s gonna help me put up with my little brother?”

“Buck.” You breathed sluggishly, blinking as the artificial lights changed to natural with the gun shining through the glass front doors.

“You didn’t let me close mine in that ambulance, so I need you to do the same. Don’t close them. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Maddie cried as an officer pulled her aside as you were stopped. You wouldn’t remember it, but Maddie had to watch as you coded right in front of her.

Maddie had to watch them perform CPR on you and fight for a pulse. She had to think of how’d she’d tell her little brother she’d killed his fiance. The counting of the paramedics sounded as if underwater, and as they did, the world went quiet. Her mind checked out as the trauma settled in.

Maddie stumbled out of the building into a zoo of officers, medics, and news reporters almost robotically. She barely felt Chimney hug her, but she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.

“It’s all my fault.” Maddie gasped, collapsing against him, “If I had-”

“Maddie?”

Chimney felt Maddie stiffen at the sound of Buck’s voice amidst the multiple voices milling around. Maddie raised her gaze to meet Buck’s blue eyes dripping in relief and question.

“Buck.”

“Maddie, where’s Y/N? Her car…” Buck trailed off, catching the utter heartbreak in his big sister’s eyes. A look he’d come to know in his line of work as a firefighter. The utter devastation that came with watching someone you love die, “No. No.”

“I got a pulse!” Came from the nearest ambulance, and Buck skirted around his sister and Chimney, “Ready to transport!”

Your eyes slowly blinked at the white ceiling of the ambulance with pain in your midsection courtesy of chest compressions. Breathing came painful, and the bullet wound throbbed, but it all faded when you saw blue eyes above you.

“Buck.” You sobbed, more like groaned, as he was urged to sit on the bench holding your hand, “Maddie?”

“She’s okay. Chim’s got her. Can you keep your eyes on me? I need to see those big beautiful e/c eyes.” Buck soothed, bringing your hand to his lips, “Did I ever tell you my favourite colour?”

Despite Buck’s best attempts, you continued fading in and out of consciousness but continued to be stable. He spoke about the funny video Eddie had shown him of Christopher at the end of their shift last night. He talked about everything and anything under the sun during the short ride to the hospital.

The last thing you saw was Buck being held back as the paramedics pushed the gurney into the ER. Everything turned black.

The beeping was the first thing you heard before your eyes fluttered open to a stark white room and that unmistakable hospital scent. You noticed the second thing as Buck holding your hand in both of his with his forehead pressed against them.

“Buck?” You moaned to the one person you had wished to see. The man whose eyes were bloodshot from crying, “What’s wrong?”

“Your heart stopped beating twice. I thought I was gonna lose you.” Buck cried with his lips pressed against your hand, “I was so worried.”

“Hey. I’m fine. I’m here.” You cooed, tugging one hand away to run through his messy hair with a soft smile. His blue eyes brighten at the familiar feeling of your digits in his hair, “I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t here for decoration.”

His eyes found the ring he’d gently placed back on your finger from when the nurses had removed it. It only left your finger when you were on duty, in which it was slung on a necklace hidden under your uniform.

“Better not be.”

“Does the hospital have a chapel?” You questioned out of the blue leading to Buck snorting as you giggled, “I’m serious. When I was bleeding in that building, all I could think about was you. If Maddie is anything like you, she’s waiting in the waiting room with Chimney.”

“You aren’t wrong. All the chairs are taken. Our family was waiting for you to wake up.” Buck breathed, leaning closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips, “Are you sure?”

“About marrying you?” You softly questioned the man who couldn’t help but believe this was a dream. How he’d somehow got the girl of his dreams to agree to marry his ass, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. All I want to share is your last name for the rest of my life. You are it for me, Evan Buckley. All the flaws you see are beautiful to me.”

“Only you would want to get married after being shot mere hours ago.” Buck chuckled with a sigh pulled from his pink lips, “I’ll get the doctor for you and find out if we can be married here.”

While you were checked out, Buck left the room to go back to the waiting room where the 118 and your co-workers waited. Everyone perked up at his appearance, Christopher asleep on Eddie’s lap.

“Is she okay?” Bobby questioned as the tension in the room grew more and more. It shattered into relief when Buck grinned.

“She’s sore as expected. She’s gonna catch some sleep, but she’d like to see Maddie.” Buck replied, pinning his gaze on his big sister with her curled into Chimney’s body. Her cheeks flooded with tears of absolute relief, “C’mon.”

The waiting room started emptying with Buck’s promise to keep everyone updated, but before Bobby could step away, Buck asked for him.

“Do you need a few days off?” Bobby questioned just as Buck came closer to the seasoned firefighter.

“No. But could you spare an hour?” The expression on Buck’s face was enough for Bobby not to ask any further questions. He simply followed Buck back towards your hospital room, where Maddie and Chim waited.

“What’s going on?” Bobby inquired, with the addition of the hospital assigned Priest holding the standard bible. Chimney could only shrug in response to whatever was going on.

“I know there have been times we haven’t seen eye to eye, but Bobby, you’re like a father to me. You gave me chance after chance when anyone else would have given up. You guided me on how to be a man. Y/N and I would like it if you’d be here for this.”

“Wait, are you getting married? What about the wedding?” Maddie spluttered, flicking her gaze between her brother and you. Her question surprised her boyfriend and Bobby.

“We’ll still have it. But I want to marry her without the pressure of our parents. Just a private ceremony with some of the people that mean the most to us.” Buck answered for the two of you, “Would you stay?”

“Of course.” Maddie softly spoke with a slideshow of memories playing in her mind of watching Buck grow up.

Watching Evan go through all kinds of injuries, all in the name of attention but never getting it the way he deserved it. She remembered giving him advice for asking out Donna and holding him when he was rejected. The little toddler with the impish grin somehow turned into an idiot in the hospital.

Maddie saw the man her little brother had turned into with the help of the 118 and you.

Buck’s fingers made quick work of buttoning his short-sleeve uniform with the sudden appearance of his friend.

“That’s new.” Eddie spoke from his opened locker holding his uniform and a picture of his family on the door. It was a picture of Christopher, Buck, you and Eddie from the zoo a couple months back.

Buck looked over at his best friend, “Hm?”

“The ring.” Eddie snorted dramatically, looking at the ring that had been living on his finger since he married you five days ago, “Did my invite get lost in the mail?”

“Nah, we just got married in the hospital. We’re still planning the wedding to appease both sides of our family. And I promised Christopher he could be in the wedding. With Y/N on medical leave, the planning will be faster. She’s going stir crazy after five days.” Buck finished tucking in the shirt into his work-issued pants. Lastly, he slid his ring onto the metal chain he had bought recently.

Like you did, he would wear it around his neck when working for safety reasons.

“I’m happy for you, man.” Eddie told his friend just as the bell rang, “You’ll have to tell me how you’re liking the married life.”

“But first, we have a job to do.” Buck supplied all the while jogging to suit up in his turnout gear with Hen and Chimney.

#evan buckley imagines #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley x fem!reader #evan buckley oneshot #911 imagines #911 oneshots #oliver stark #evan buck buckley #evan buckley x y/n #evan buckley x you #caitsy and ash productions

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clusterbuck · 3 years

Note

how about 4 from the prompts list? "I'm here, aren't I?"

okay fun fact when i sat down to fill this prompt and turned my spotify on shuffle the first song to come up was i'm here by sweet talk radio so like... that's appropriate lmao

thanks for the prompt!!

"i'm here, aren't i?" buck mutters under his breath. "stop looking at me like that! it's rush hour on a friday, i did the best i could with the traffic conditions i had."

"i know, i know," eddie whispers next to him. "i'm not mad at, you, i just—" he cuts himself off and sighs. "i was going to talk to you about something before we went in."

"why am i here, anyway?" buck asks, looking around at all of the parents and teachers milling around the foyer of christopher's school. "i mean, you know i don't mind, but you made it sound really—"

he's interrupted by the sound of a woman's voice, somewhere on eddie's other side. "mr diaz, there you are! and this must be the husband."

buck whirls to look at eddie, because—if eddie has a husband, this is the first he's hearing of it.

please, eddie's expression seems to say, desperate and cornered and a little hopeful. and buck's never been able to deny him anything.

he's always been quick on the uptake, and even if he wasn't, eddie's arm sliding around his waist would probably make the pieces slip into place. so he schools his features into his best approximation of what a husband probably looks like and turns to face the woman next to eddie.

she's bright and bubbly, the platonic ideal of a suburban california soccer mom. she holds out a hand, and buck grins as he shakes it. "that's me," he confirms.

"and are you mr diaz as well?" she asks, and buck breathes an internal sigh of relief when she doesn't add anything along the lines of i don't really know how it works with you people.

"buckley, actually," he tells her. "buck." then he drops his voice and leans in like he's sharing a secret. "makes it easier at work, you know, so our captain knows who he's talking to."

she laughs, and eddie squeezes his hip. "i've heard a lot about you," she says with a smile. then she inclines her head at eddie. "he won't shut up about you, actually."

buck grins. "is that so?" he asks, turning to look at eddie.

eddie rolls his eyes. "i talk about you a normal amount," he says. "don't go getting an ego about this."

the woman introduces herself as somebody's mother. next to him, eddie falls into an easy conversation about math homework and the upcoming science fair, but buck is only half-listening. he's mostly preoccupied by the fact that eddie, apparently, goes around telling people that they're married. which is definitely news to him.

he's also more than a little preoccupied by the warm weight of eddie's arm resting around his waist, and the casual way eddie's hand curls around his hip like it belongs there. before he can think better of it, buck leans further into eddie's embrace, and eddie adjusts his grip mid-sentence like this is something they do every day and not something out of buck's wildest daydreams.

eventually, the woman excuses herself to go and find some teacher or the other.

"husband, huh?" buck asks. "that's funny, i don't remember you proposing. or, you know, asking me out."

as he speaks, eddie detaches himself from buck. when buck turns to look, eddie is already wearing a guilty expression.

eddie sighs. "i was going to tell you," he says. "that's what i wanted to talk to you about before we came in."

"i mean, yeah, knowing ahead of time that i'm supposed to be acting like your husband would have made life a little easier," buck says. "also, uh, why am i supposed to be acting like your husband, again?"

eddie looks away, squirrely in the way buck knows he only gets when he's embarrassed. "there was a teacher a while back," he says. "she kept, uh, hitting on me? so i panicked and said i was married."

"okay, so, why me?" buck asks, and wonders if eddie can hear the unspoken question. why are you pretending to be married to a man? eddie's never given any indication that he's anything other than straight. it's the biggest reason buck has him firmly mentally labelled as never going to happen, buckley, you might as well stop dreaming about it.

it hasn't worked so far, but repetition is key.

"i guess christopher talks about you a lot," eddie says. "she asked if it was you, and it seemed easier to say yes than to invent some kind of fictional spouse that i'd have to remember details about."

"romantic," buck says, and eddie laughs and elbows him.

"shut up."

"so why didn't you just tell me?" buck asks.

"i was going to, if you'd been here when you said you would!"

"hey, it's not my fault the 146 didn't manage their pile-up scene properly and traffic backed up!" buck says. "besides, you could also have told me at any other point in time between now and—how long have you been telling people this?"

"uh... six months, give or take," eddie says. "that's why it was so important you come tonight—i've been making excuses for you at school events, but the other parents have started to question it and i don't want them thinking my imaginary husband is a shitty person."

"clearly you have better taste than that," buck agrees.

eddie sighs again, but it's good-natured. "god, i should have known you'd be insufferable about this."

"and yet you picked me anyway," buck beams. "so why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"i was worried you'd think it's weird," eddie says. "and i really needed you to be here."

"mm, being addressed as your husband out of the blue was definitely less weird," buck says.

"so it didn't go exactly to plan," eddie says. "thanks for just rolling with it, by the way."

"of course," buck says. "i've got your back, remember?"

"somehow, i don't think this is what either of us envisioned back in that hospital parking lot," eddie laughs.

and it's true—buck had envisioned doing a lot of things with eddie, back in those first few days before he'd realised he didn't have a chance, but fake marriage was never one of them.

"so is there anything specific you need me to do?" buck asks, in an effort to distract himself from thoughts of the things he did envision.

"just—sell it, i guess?" eddie says. "i'm pretty sure i've only told people things about you that are true anyway, so there's no elaborate cover story or anything."

"except that we're married," buck says.

"except that we're married," eddie agrees. "for—about a year now, i think i've said?"

"a year, okay," buck repeats. "cool, i'm on it." then he steps closer to eddie again and slips his hand into eddie's back pocket.

"buck," eddie hisses. "what are you doing?"

"selling it," buck replies.

"where? in high school in the year 1987?" eddie asks, but he relaxes into buck's side.

"hey, no judging," buck says. "maybe this is my signature move."

"i mean, you do you," eddie says. buck doesn't argue, because he doesn't want to have to tell eddie that he's mostly doing it because this might be the only opportunity he ever gets to touch eddie's ass.

it's only as they set off to meet with the first of christopher's teachers that buck realises he might have miscalculated. because now his hand is on eddie's ass, and he's suddenly hyperaware of even the smallest twitch of his fingers. how much of it can eddie feel? is eddie going to think he's trying to make a move if he accidentally flexes his fingers a little?

it's not that he doesn't want to make a move. it's just that he doesn't think that eddie would be very receptive to it.

except eddie turns out to be a very affectionate fake husband. if buck's hand isn't in eddie's pocket then eddie is holding it. when they sit side-by-side listening to teachers talk about how smart christopher is, eddie's foot is hooked around buck's ankle. in the hallway between meetings, eddie turns to drop a kiss on buck's cheek, and a shiver radiates through him.

buck doesn't know what to make of it. he's used to a certain amount of physical contact from eddie—shoulders brushing together as they walk next to each other, working together so seamlessly their limbs might as well be extensions of each other on calls—but this feels different. it's not just that the touches are different—there's an ease to eddie's actions that makes buck wonder for the first time in years if maybe his mental label for eddie isn't quite as accurate after all.

he doesn't know how else to explain the fact that eddie keeps touching him. it's more than enough to sell their ruse—bordering on excessive, even, especially for a middle school parent-teacher conference.

and buck isn't exactly innocent himself, either. he wonders if a year into a fictional marriage is too far to claim honeymoon period, because that's the closest he can come to describing the feeling—like now that he has permission to touch eddie, the dam has broken and he can't keep his hands off.

they're still holding hands when they spill out of the school doors and into the dark warmth of the september evening. eddie makes no move to let go, and so neither does buck.

buck's jeep is clear across the other side of the parking lot, but he follows eddie to his truck anyway. they reach the car, and eddie brushes his lips against the corner of buck's mouth, closer than he has all night. buck freezes.

eddie pulls back, horror clear across his face. "i'm sorry," he says. "i didn't—i just—i forgot. that we're not inside anymore."

there's just enough wistfulness in his voice that buck makes a split-second decision. he takes a step forwards and takes eddie's face in his hands, stands still for two heartbeats just in case he's reading everything extremely wrong and eddie wants to protest, and then he's kissing eddie.

eddie kisses the way he does everything else, with a steadiness that keeps buck tethered to reality and a quiet intensity that bubbles just under the surface. it's a combination that's uniquely eddie, one that makes buck feel like he could take on the world and win and like he's coming home.

"i don't want it to be just inside," buck says, just in case eddie didn't get the message. "i don't want it to be fake. i mean, it might be a little soon to get married, but—"

"someday, though," eddie says, and buck laughs.

"someday, yeah."

eddie grins at him. "in the meantime, do you want to come home with me tonight?"

"yeah, i really do."

send me a starter line from this list and i'll write a ficlet for it!

#i am so tired i hope this makes sense lmao #buddie #911fic #ask emma #emma writes #becominglionhearted #lol i was literally just saying the other day that i tend to default to eddie pov and here's my second buck pov in a row #oh well

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thisissirius · 3 years

Text

for @capseycartwright who CONSTANTLY screams about fic with me and is my pillar of support in the trying times of europe timezones and watching the episodes.

nothing left to lose but everything i have [ao3 link] eddie/buck, buck begins spoilers, buck emotions and best friend feels.

If that’s how you feel, you have every right to say something.

Sometimes, Eddie needs to take his own advice.

Watching Buck’s anger, the casual way he said hit things like neither of them had a personal reminder of why that was a bad idea, it hurt. Buck was suffering in ways he refused to talk about, ways that Eddie couldn’t understand.

“You can talk to me,” he says, to what might as well be a brick wall.

“You can come over,” though he knows Buck won’t.

“I don’t want to see you hurting,” that he only ever says when he’s alone.

Then.

“Defective parts,” and Eddie feels adrift, unable to parse Buck with the idea that he’s only ever been spare parts.

“That’s not on you,” Eddie says, because how could Buck think—

When Buck says, “I doubt they would agree,” Eddie wants to scream. Or find the Buckleys and tell them—

Buck’s everything.

______

Later, when Buck’s on his way to the hospital, Eddie stays behind.

He’s there when the Buckleys show up and he doesn’t know what he’s expecting, but for them to be so kind and polite is not it. Eddie leans against the balcony as they listen to kind words about Buck from those filtering through. Chim, Hen, a couple of other guys. Eddie stays silent from most of it, avoiding the looks Chim and Hen throw him.

When he thinks about just walking away—he refuses to talk to them as if everything’s normal—Margaret turns to him. “Do you—”

“Margaret,” Chim starts, because he knows.

“I know Buck,” Eddie says casually. “Better than anyone else in this room.”

Margaret looks taken aback, and Philip opens his mouth, but Eddie doesn’t let him get a word out.

“I’m his best friend,” Eddie continues, pushing himself up. He’s not an overly tall guy, but he knows he can look intimidating when he wants to. He doesn’t want to, he just needs them to understand. “I almost watched him die today.”

“What,” Margaret starts, pressing a hand to her mouth.

Philip looks shocked. “What happened?”

“A fire,” Eddie says calmly.

“He’s okay,” Chim says quickly, throwing Eddie a dark look.

“Yeah, he is,” Eddie agrees.

Chim shakes his head. “So why bring it up?”

“Do you think they care?” Eddie asks. There’s a silence in the room he hates. “If they cared, they’d have been here after the fire truck. After the blood clots, or the tsunami.”

“You have no idea,” Margaret starts.

“What it’s like to lose a kid?” Eddie sees the way they close down, offended, and he sighs. “No, you’re right, I don’t. But I did abandon my kid. I went to war and was treated like a hero for abandoning my kid. But you know what? I fixed it. He was six, and I fixed it. I came home and I loved him and I still love him. You can tell me you love Buck,” he continues, when Philip opens his mouth, “but if Buck doesn’t feel it? I don’t give a shit, and he’s never talked about you beyond a sentence or two.”

Hen stands. “Eddie.”

“No, Hen,” he says, and wonders why he’s not angrier about this. He’s just exhausted for Buck, wonders how he’s come out the way he has with parents like this. “I’ve listened to everything he’s screamed at me,” he continues, addressing Margaret and Philip once again. “He doesn’t tell me, but I can see it anyway. And right now? He thinks he’s defective parts.” Again, a flinch. “Buck deserves so much better than you’ve given him.”

“We lost a son,” Margaret says, and Eddie hates the pain in her voice. He can remember too clearly Buck standing in front of him, that split second he thought he’d lost Chris for good.

Eddie nods. “You did. But you had another son. Buck, who I’m grateful for every day, who probably wouldn’t be here if you’d been decent parents, but I can’t even thank you for that. Because you hurt Buck, time and again. Made him think he wasn’t good enough, and I can tell you from personal experience that it sucks.”

Silence.

“I love him,” Eddie says, and doesn’t care what they infer from that. “My son loves him. He’s a good parent,” he adds, because it’ll hurt and some vicious part of him wants it to. “I think he learned it from Maddie.”

______

Downstairs, Eddie takes a moment. Cap’s on his way back with Buck and he needs to get his shit together because Buck needs him to.

Knuckles rap on the doorframe and Eddie sighs. “I’m not sorry.”

Hen makes a noise in the back of her throat. “I didn’t expect you would be.”

They lapse into a calm silence, and Eddie breathes out, in, out. “They needed to hear it.”

“Perhaps.” Hen crosses the room, standing in front of him, but Eddie doesn’t look at her. “You’re hurting.”

"Buck needs me to be strong," Eddie says, staring down at his hands and ignoring the implication.

Hen sits opposite him, resting a hand on his knee. Eddie looks up, meets her eyes. "Who's strong for you?"

Eddie opens his mouth, closes it.

"Eddie, you're allowed help, too."

"I know," Eddie says, because he does. "I don't wanna put that on anyone."

Hen nods, and he's grateful she gets it. "I'll take it." Eddie shakes his head, but Hen's hand squeezes his leg gently. "Eddie, I'm not asking."

Eddie doesn't know what to say, feels the burning in his eyes. "Thanks, Hen."

_______

“I know you did,” Eddie says, and means I love you.

Watching Buck walk away, knowing the things he’ll probably hear—

“They’re hearing more stories,” Hen assured him.

Eddie doubts that’ll distract from the things he said. Cap tells him to go home. Chim doesn’t seem to know what to say to him. Hen watches him. Eddie waits. He needs Buck to know he’s not gonna just walk out when shit’s going down in his life.

“Eddie,” Buck says, coming down the stairs. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah.” Eddie feels his stomach swoop, and he leads them out onto the main drive. “Buck, I—”

Buck presses a hand to Eddie’s chest and Eddie’s mouth shuts so abruptly he almost bites his tongue. There’s a quiet devastation to Buck that hurts like a knife through Eddie’s chest. “Chim just said—Maddie—I need to go and see Maddie.”

It’s not what Eddie’s expecting. “Okay.”

“Eddie,” Buck says, and he looks confused, hurt. Eddie reaches up, curls his fingers around Buck’s wrist. “She let Doug—”

“Come over later,” Eddie says quietly, before he can change his mind. “After you speak to Maddie?”

Buck hesitates. “Yeah?”

“Please,” Eddie says, and hates himself for begging. He doesn’t know how to continue, but he can see Buck needs him to. Maybe parts of him are still unsure, but Eddie thinks it’s the confusion, complete life-changing information he’s had thrown at him. “Chris will wanna see you.”

“And you?” Buck asks tentatively.

Eddie nods, decides to be honest. “Always.”

_____

Time stretches.

Eddie doesn’t remember much of what happens between leaving the station and the key in his door. Chris is getting ready for bed, excited for Buck to come over, and Eddie closes his eyes, tries to dig for the strength he needs.

Call me whenever you need, Hen texts, just after dinner.

Buck’s not the only person who’s found family in LA.

“Hey,” Buck says quietly. “Is Chris—”

“Just getting ready for bed,” Eddie assures him. “Are you okay?”

Buck opens his mouth to answer.

“Buck,” Chris says, over whatever Buck might reveal. “You came!”

Everything about Buck changes. It’s not a front; Eddie knows Buck well enough to see. The love shining out of every part of Buck, the way he’ll always get on Christopher’s level, the affection in his expression and voice when he says, “of course I did. I always keep my promises.”

Chris comes over for a goodnight hug and kiss, and then he and Buck disappear down the hall. Eddie concentrates on breathing in and out, doesn’t know why he feels so untethered when it’s Buck’s life on a spiral. Again, time slips away from him, and he startles when a hand touches his face.

“Hey,” Buck says.

“Sorry,” Eddie says quickly, sitting up. “You shouldn’t have to—”

“I can’t handle this,” Buck says, talking quickly, “if you treat me like I’m gonna break.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t think that. Buck, you’re the strongest person I know.”

Buck doesn’t seem to know what to say. He moves around Eddie’s legs, dropping onto the couch next to him. He rubs his hands on his jeans, and Eddie reaches over, takes the one closest to him and squeezes. Buck nods to himself. “I forgave them.”

“Okay,” Eddie says quietly, waiting to follow Buck’s lead.

“I thought it would be harder,” Buck continues. He smiles, but there’s nothing funny about it. “But you know why it wasn’t?”

This one Eddie does know. “You don’t care enough for it to matter.”

Buck nods, swallowing, and dragging Eddie’s hand closer, holding it against his stomach. Eddie’s glad he can be whatever Buck needs him to be. “Yeah. You always understand me. Apparently my parents know that too.”

Eddie refuses to be ashamed about it. “I hate that they’re so—they think their grief entitles them to treat you the way they have and it doesn’t.”

“Eddie—”

“I wish you’d had better,” Eddie admits carefully, meeting Buck’s eyes. “You deserve better.”

There’s a shine to Buck’s eyes, and he squeezes Eddie’s hand. “I don’t want to see them again.”

Good. “Okay.”

“I need you to—keep me straight on it, okay, because I might cave because I always you do.”

“No, you don’t,” Eddie says, shifting so that he can look at Buck properly. He leans in a little, needs Buck to understand. “You wanted to be loved, Buck, but you don’t need them for that. You have me. Us,” he amends, not because he’s ashamed, because he needs Buck to know there’s more than just Eddie for him. “All of us.”

“I know,” Buck whispers, and there’s truth in his words, his expression.

“You can do this.” Eddie nods. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Buck uses his free hand to pull out his phone, seemingly reluctant to let go of Eddie’s had. “Can you,” he says, “delete their numbers for me?”

Eddie would do anything for Buck, and Buck knows it. This, though, he won’t do. “No,” he says, but holds tightly to Buck in case he tries to pull away. “I would do anything,” he continues, catching Buck’s gaze and holding it, “but this you need to do for yourself. I can forget them about as easily as I’ve known them, but this is yours to let go of.”

“You’ll be there?”

“Whenever you need me to be.” Eddie sees Buck’s finger hover over his phone. “It doesn’t have to be now.”

“I want it to be,” Buck says honestly, looking up. “I want to do it now, with you. Like this.”

“Alright,” Eddie allows. He watches, rubbing a thumb over Buck’s hand as Buck deletes them from his phone contacts, from his emails. He even sends a text to Maddie to let her know what he’s done. Buck puts the phone face down on the arm of the couch and Eddie says, “I’m proud of you.”

Buck sounds wrecked when he says, “Eddie.”

Eddie waits.

“I think I need a hug.”

“I said whatever you need,” Eddie says, “and I meant it.”

Buck hesitates a fraction of a second and then all but falls into Eddie. Eddie wraps his arms around Buck, tucks Buck’s head under his chin and waits for the flood. It comes slowly; a steady trembling of Buck’s body, a hand fisting into his shirt, a sob, and then tears.

“I’ve got you,” Eddie whispers gently. He brushes a kiss to the top of Buck’s head. “I’ve got you.”

______

Eddie doesn’t want to let go.

Buck doesn’t want him to let go.

Eddie shifts until they’re stretched out on the couch, Buck against the back, Eddie on the edge, still curled around him. They need to invest in a new couch if they’re going to keep doing this, but for now, Eddie wraps around Buck and whispers, “I’ve got you,” once more into his hair.

“I know,” Buck says gently. “You always have, Eddie.”

“Just like you’ve always got me.” Eddie knows what a gift that is, to be loved by Buck. Someone who’s had precious little love in his life. Except Maddie. Eddie whispers a private thanks for Maddie in the back of his head. Running his fingers through Buck’s hair, he swipes a thumb over Buck’s cheek, wiping away stray tears.

Buck nods, sliding a hand up Eddie’s waist, forehead pressing into the crook of Eddie’s neck. “I don’t know where to go from here.”

Eddie doesn’t either. “We’ll find out together.”

“Yeah?” Buck asks, because they both know where they’re headed, but it feels too new to break with definitions or certainties.

Leaning in, ghosting a kiss over Buck’s lips, his cheek, Eddie nods. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Buck says, and he reaches up, fingers warm against Eddie’s neck. “Together.”

#buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fic #otp: i forgive you #911 spoilers #fic by me #i'm not over it #hahaha it's here #oop

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princessfbi · 3 years

Note

#It’s the way that I can dissect this scene and the argument we don’t see but hear when Chimney leaves for hours

..... those tags tho, I’d happily read that dissection 👉🏻👈🏻

Oh man! I am more than happy to oblige.

SO... In order to talk about Buck and Maddie's fight during "Merry Ex-Mas" we have to talk about some people we don't like. Namely, Margaret Buckley and Doug Kendall.

Particularly about how Margaret essentially made Maddie into a mother figure for Buck and Doug point out to Maddie that she is in fact, his sister and not his parent.

Margaret and Philip, whether unintentionally or not, relied on Maddie to take care of Buck. They let her handle him; be his parent. A fine example is in Buck Begins after he fell off the bike. Buck calls out for his mother and she goes to him only to pull back when she sees the bike. It’s a rejection in its most complicated form. The bike, for Margaret, is a symbol of grief. But for Buck and Maddie it was a symbol of growth. Of Buck growing up and becoming a big kid. Of moving on.

Margaret allowing the bike, her grief, to be a kind of barrier to her kids essentially drew a wall between them where she was on one side and Buck and Maddie were on the other. Which can be devastatingly isolating for an about five year old. Five being old enough to realize when a cry for comfort has been ignored is also young enough to still be reliant on others. But their parents didn’t just block out Buck. They blocked out Maddie too. They left her with a kid.

So, Maddie took care of Buck. She raised him. She didn’t have a choice which doesn’t cheapen their relationship. It goes back to what I said in my Maddie character analysis. We would not have Buck without Maddie. The emotional neglect that Buck and Maddie went through could have wrecked them as people. Buck could’ve very easily been turned into a toxic masculine person with resentments that rivaled the size of Margaret’s towards her own children. But he didn’t because of Maddie. Because Maddie showed him what it was like to love and be loved in return.

Maddie saved Buck.

But Maddie was also a kid and because of that added responsibility, I don’t think Maddie had any real boundaries when it came to Buck. Anyone who had a hand in raising a sibling knows the feeling of ownership, if you will, over them. There's a very clear sense of agency you get when you had a hand in making someone into the way they are.

It's why Maddie didn't back down from Margaret when she threw out the accusation that she "didn't know what it was like" because Maddie "wasn't a mother yet." It's why Maddie from young age handed out discipline in a sense with her parents in how they spoke about Buck.

"Don't talk to him like that."

Maddie scolds her parents for the way they disrespect Buck and put him down. She calls them out on their complacency when it comes to their relationship with Buck. Maddie sees herself as a parent figure/protector/authority figure (if not the only one) in Buck's life.

Which leads me to Doug. I think Doug was the person who pointed that out. I think Doug was the person who showed Maddie that she needed live for herself just as much as she lived for Buck. I think Doug saw that lightbulb go off for Maddie and used that to manipulate her as well. Doug recognized and “respected” in his own way that Maddie’s relationship with Buck was something of great value in her life. It’s why he didn’t storm in on those nights where she was alone with Buck after he found her. It’s why he didn’t ask her questions about Buck. It’s why he didn’t demand she come home when she told him “I’m with Evan” on the phone in Buck Begins.

Doug recognized in his own way that Buck was a hard line for Maddie.

So, Doug gave Maddie boundaries for Buck and hoped that would bring her over to his side. And neither Buck or Maddie realized it because they were so used to emotional neglect/manipulation (which is a form of abuse) that they didn't even blink because in their minds', they still had each other.

By Maddie’s own admission, the only thing of value she had at the time, was her relationship with Buck and Doug knew that. So, rather than take it away, he pushed himself in between them as a way to put distance between them.

Boundaries with one another was something completely foreign to Buck because his own idea of a "boundary" was the extreme with his parents: to be shut out completely which Buck would then internalize as being his fault. So, Buck resents Doug not for giving Maddie boundaries with Buck but for not letting Buck be a part of creating those boundaries. He sees it as a way of being shut out again.

Let's take into consideration what Buck said in Buck Begins when he asked to go live with Maddie and Doug.

"It's Doug, isn't it? He hates me."

Buck recognized Doug as another wall in his life and the resentment Buck had wasn't aimed at Maddie but at Doug. He had complete faith that Maddie wasn't shutting him out because she didn't love him anymore. It was because he thought Doug never loved him to begin with. And it's at this point that I think Buck saw the similarities with Maddie in himself. After Maddie left, Buck found himself in the middle between his parents and her. Buck recognized that Maddie was now in the middle between Doug and himself. That's why he didn't confront her in the hospital about Maddie pretending everything was hunky dory. But Buck recognized, before Maddie did, that Doug was the one putting her in the middle.

"You don't have to pretend with me, all right? I know things aren't okay with Doug."

It wasn't until a new beginning, an opportunity for them to escape from their sadness that Buck finally addressed that distance and the reasoning behind it.

Let's skip back to "Merry Ex-Mas" now.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So, you hate Christmas now. Something else I can thank Doug for, huh?"

This is something I think a lot of people who have been on the sounding board end of a loved one going through a break up where the loved one is still defending the ex can recognize. I think Buck expected a clean break because that's the way Maddie was presenting it. Because Maddie had no problems cutting off everyone else in her life such as her parents, her friends, and to an extent Buck in a very clean, compartmentalized process. So, to Buck this seemed like it should've been the same.

But it wasn't. Because Maddie's relationship with Doug was complicated and she didn't fully cut herself of from him (or at least, didn't stop making excuse for him which is an internalized form of victim blaming) until that moment in the car during "Fight or Flight".

Let's take a look though at the real meat of this argument.

"You can't come into my house, Buck, and act this way."

"'Come into my house?' I'm your brother. Typical old Maddie."

Here's the real kicker.

"Typical old Maddie."

Remember how I said that Buck doesn't resent Maddie, he resents Doug?

Here's what I think we sometimes forget because we, as the audience, view the show as a whole. We, the viewers, know the extent of the trauma Doug put Maddie through but Buck doesn't. All Buck sees is that his sister isn't acting like herself and the only reason he has for that is whatever happened with Doug. Buck doesn't know everything Doug put Maddie through because Maddie has been shielding him from it.

Remember in Buck Begins when Omar tried to get Maddie to tell Buck about what happened?

"Evan can never know."

Even with the events of Buck Begins, Buck is still learning the extent of the abuse Maddie suffered from Doug. He knew Doug beat Maddie and he knew it was pretty bad to the point that he almost killed her. But he didn't know until Chimney told him that the reason Maddie didn't leave with him was because Doug beat her brutally for picking a side; Buck's side. It's one thing to know the broad picture but an entirely different thing to know the details.

Because at some point along the way, Maddie's boundary with Buck became a protective shield for Buck. Maddie may have been in the middle between Doug and Buck but Maddie had put herself over the line in the sand beside Buck once again and neither Buck or Doug realized it.

Maddie doesn't want to explain to Buck why she doesn't want to celebrate Christmas because it's a painful truth for herself but for Buck as well. It's opening up that protective bubble and letting the risk of Buck and herself being hurt again. So, she's shutting down again which is something she'd done before to keep Buck out of that messy part of her life. Except, because Buck thinks Maddie has had this clean break from her life with Doug, he pushes her a little.

"Come on, you love Christmas."

And Maddie lashes out.

"And easy to lash out on the person that you know is always gonna forgive you."

It's a panic response, a knee jerk reaction, because she doesn't want to go through the painful process of unpacking that especially not with Buck because she was still continuing to shield him from it all. She lashed out because, subconsciously at least, she knew it would deflect him from it.

"Typical old Maddie."

And it worked.

#Maddie Buckley #Evan 'Buck' Buckley #The Buckley Siblings #TW Doug Kendall #TW Domestic Abuse #Buck Begins #Merry Ex-Mas #911 on Fox #TW Emotional Neglect #mellaithwen #ask #answered

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anon911andbuddie · 3 years

Note

Angsty Prompt: Buck and Maddie never talk about their parents. It's because their parents are like super rich and never had time for them. Buck gets invited to a BIG FANCY PARTY and the team finds out. The next few weeks are filled with jokes like "Can you buy me a house rich boy?" and things like that. Buck gets really upset thinking that's all they care about. The team showing and telling him that he is more than that.

Claimed by Red💋

Two Sides (Of The Same Coin)

Buck was ready to drop. Between the past month being filled with training and firefighting, he hadn’t had much time to himself or the Diaz boys. Buck dragged himself through the bay doors, straight from his reservist training for the SEALs because he was a glutton for punishment and hadn’t thought to ask for the day off.

Buck got dressed quickly, walking quickly up the stairs to the loft. “Running late today, Buckley,” Chim asked.

Buck rolled his eyes, flipping Chim the bird. Chim had no idea why he was late and he honestly shouldn’t be as smug about it as he is. “Nice of you to join us,” Bobby teased lightly.

“Always happy to be here, Cap,” Buck sassed.

Taking a seat next to Eddie, the man placed a hand lightly on his knee. It was their silent communication asking if the other was alright. Buck nodded lightly. “Hey, Buck. You got a fancy looking letter,” Hen called as she came in with the mail. “Got a hot date,” she asked.

Buck stood up slowly, muscles aching as he walked over to Hen. “No. Who’s it from?”

Hen turned the letter over, “uh, Margaret and Phillip Buckley...oh, are those your parents,” a light went off in Hen’s eyes as Buck hurried the rest of the way over to her.

“Give me that-”

The letter got tossed to Chim who immediately opened it as Buck rushed towards him. “We would formally like to-”

The letter was passed back to Hen before Buck could get to Chim, “-invite you to the Annual Buckley Gala this 5th of February-”

“-at the Buckley Estate in Los Angeles, California. All proceeds will go to-”

Buck snatched the letter from Chim, face red from both embarrassment and exhaustion. “Now that I think about it, Maddie got a letter like that before I left today. Same envelope, at least.”

“Sounds like your family is rich, Mr. Evan Buckley,” Hen wiggled her eyebrows.

“Shut it, both of you,” Buck threatened.

Hen and Chim shared a look and that is how Buck’s day was filled with rich jokes and uncomfortable questions from the two. By the time Buck could head home, he was far more exhausted than he’d ever been. Picking up his phone as he sat in his Jeep, Buck dialed Maddie’s number. She picked up in three rings. Without giving her a chance to speak, Buck was starting, “Chim and everyone knows about Mom and Dad. I got a letter today at the station and they read it. It was inviting me to the stupid gala they hold every year. Apparently it’s in LA this year.”

It was quiet for a moment, “yeah, I got a letter too. I just threw it out.” She sighed, “thanks for telling me. Are you-”

“No, I’m not going to their fucking party. That’s pretty much all they cared about when we were kids,” Buck rolled his eyes.

“Why did they send it to the station?”

“I never gave them my current address. I didn’t want any contact with them.”

“I’m sorry, Evan,” she sighed.

“Me too, the rich jokes just kept coming today.”

“I’ll talk to Howie.”

“Don’t worry about it. No harm.”

_______________

Three Weeks Later

Buck had been pulled in for a last minute training session for the reservists, really pushing his limits. Buck was just so tired. “Buck, you have visitors,” Bobby called from the railing.

“Changing,” he replied. “Be up soon!”

There was a few seconds of silence before he heard the voices of two people he had wanted to put in his past. “It’s not nice to keep your guests waiting, Evan,” his mother called.

Buck straightened and turned to look at his parents. Why were they here? “What, uh, what are you doing here,” he asked as he noticed his coworkers standing at the railing of the loft.

“You never RSVP’d for the Gala, we had to make sure you were coming,” his father stated, ever posh in his dry cleaned and freshly pressed suit.

“Maybe I didn’t RSVP because I wasn’t planning on coming,” Buck replied as he turned to get dressed again.

He got his work shirt on before either of his parents spoke again. “Madeline decided she wasn’t coming and we need one of you there considering we’re in the same city as both of our children, it would look bad if at least one of them wasn’t there with us.”

Buck scoffed, turning back to his parents, “maybe you should have thought of that before you chose to focus on your money and parties instead of your children. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a job to do.”

His parents didn’t let him pass and Buck barely held back rolling his eyes at his parents. “The proceeds of the party are going to Veterans who need assistance after coming back from war. Considering your service, I thought you would want to be involved. You could even wear your uniform if you wanted,” his father pressed, “we might even get more donations because of it.”

This was not a conversation he wanted to have in front of his crew. He never wanted his crew to meet his parents. And the thing is, Buck knew he couldn’t say no now that his parents told him the cause they were donating the money to. Buck bit his lip, “one condition to me coming to your Gala...you meet whatever gets donated. If you make $500,000 then you give $500,000 of your own money to the cause.”

Margaret and Phillip shared a look. A small nod from Phillip and Margaret gave him a tight smile, “Of course, Darling. We’ll match the donation.”

Buck ran a hand down his face as his parents turned and walked out of the station. “Fuck,” he muttered to himself.

Buck slowly made his way up the stairs of the firehouse and took a deep breath. “Why do they think you wearing your work uniform will help their charity get more money,” Chim asked as he munched on an apple.

Buck glared at Chim, his eyes telling the man that this was a conversation they weren’t having. Eddie was kind enough not to question him as he handed him a coffee mug. “Firefighting is way different from serving your country across seas, your parents know that, right,” Hen asked.

Buck bit his lip as he walked away from the group. They didn’t know. He’d never told them...it never came up...but it hurt that they assumed that ‘by his service’ meant his time as a firefighter and not actually serving his country...having gone overseas and seen things he’ll never unsee.

Chim snickered, “the posh elites probably won’t know the difference.”

Buck’s cup slammed on the kitchen island, coffee spilling out, but he didn’t care about that. “Are you done,” he snarled.

“Whoa,” he held his hands up, “just a bit of teasing.”

“I’d fucking appreciate it if you stopped. You don’t-” He was cut off by the alarm blaring through the station. He didn’t think he could last the whole shift with Chim an Hen.

_______________

Two Weeks Later

Placing his fatigues in the locker, Buck didn’t pay them much mind. He’d get off with just enough time to be fashionably late to his parent’s gala. “You got a fancy suit in there,” Hen asked as she sidled up to him.

Buck sighed. Hen and Chim hadn’t let up much in their teasing. “Something like that,” he stated as he shut the locker.

“I can’t wait until the end of shift. Evan Buckley in a fancy suit...we don’t get to see that much,” she continued.

Much of the afternoon was spent going out on very few calls. That meant there was more time for Chim and Hen to rib him on his night at the ‘fancy smancy gala’. Eventually Eddie stepped in, telling them to back off as Buck’s mood soured more and more.

The last call that the crew went on was a monster, leaving Buck feeling more tired than he had in months. Quickly showering, he began to get ready for the gala. His replacement for the night was already there and ready for the next call, meaning Buck could leave whenever he was ready. Looking at the clock, he was already late to the gala...and Buck thought about just not going...but his parents would make good on their deal. They would match whatever was donated...and Buck wanted to make sure that happened.

Buck got dressed quickly, taking a moment to fix his hair before making sure everything was in place. Grabbing his duffle, Buck was looking to make a speedy exit. “And there he-” Chim cut himself off as he looked at Buck’s attire.

“You-” Hen started.

Buck looked down at the fatigues and back to his crew. He had no time to explain this now. “Yes, I serve my country. Yes this is what I’m wearing to the gala. No, it’s not fake. I’ll see you next shift,” he called out as he hurried out the bay doors.

_______________

Three Days Later

Buck had sat in his Jeep longer than intended. He was working up the courage to walk into the station for his next shift. The gala had been more or less a success. A grand total of six million dollars being given to multiple veteran charities. He’d smiled and played the part of the happy son who served his country. He had politely declined numbers of men and women that were in attendance of the party. As soon as he could get out of there, he did. It was only a letter sent to Maddie that let him know how much money had been raised.

Buck finally sighed and pushed himself to go into the station. He gripped his duffle tightly as if it could shield him from the others. Eddie was in the locker room when he came in. Quietly, the man stood up and gave a smile to Buck. He put his arms around Buck’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug, “I’m proud of you.”

Buck gave him a confused look when they pulled apart. “Uh, why?”

“I know you didn’t want to go to that party, but you did to help others who’ve served their country. I’m proud of you.”

Buck blushed, hand going to the back of his neck, “I mean...anyone would have done the same.”

“No, some really wouldn’t have.”

Buck didn’t say anything as they made their way to the kitchen for breakfast. It was quiet for a while before Chim spoke, “I’m sorry for all the teasing I put you through this last month. It got out of hand.”

“We never meant for it to hurt you...seeing your face when you left to go to the gala...I’m sorry that we hurt you,” Hen stated.

Buck cleared his throat. “Nothing to be sorry for. You tease me relentlessly about everything else, why wouldn’t that have been the same?”

“But you told us to stop and we should have.”

Buck shrugged, “maybe. Doesn’t really matter. The past is the past.”

It was quiet again before Hen looked at him hesitantly, “can we-can we ask about…”

Buck stared at his plate of food before nodding. “I enlisted right after I graduated from high school. I wanted to get as far away from Hershey as possible. My parents were never really there for me or Maddie so, it wasn’t like they’d miss me. They only ever really contact me when they need to look good in front of their friends I mean...what family doesn’t look good with a soldier in the family right?” Buck rolled his eyes. “I went through SEAL training, was active for six years before I was put in the reserves. Every month I do one to six training sessions with other reservists. My enlistment ends in another year and I’ll be retired...but if something were to pop up, up until then I could be put back on active duty.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

Buck looked Chim directly in the eye and raised an eyebrow, “would you have honestly believed me? If I just told you one day while we were playing pool that I served in the military, would you have believed me? You haven’t taken me seriously since I joined the firehouse.”

“Buck-”

“No, everyone thinks I’m some dumb reckless kid that you all have to put up with. You think I’m exhausting and idiotic. Turns out that I’m actually pretty smart! That recklessness is actually hardwired problem solving in impossible situations because that was what was trained in me! I’m idiotic because SEALs are fucking crazy. We let ourselves be drowned to build up a resistance, we go through crazy training exercises for any extreme case scenario because we can be sent into anything. But if I had told you any of this without ‘proof’ you wouldn’t have believed me.”

“Why did you tell me you didn’t go through with the SEALs when you actually did,” Bobby asked.

Buck took a long look at Bobby before shrugging. “I don’t know. I guess it felt...safe to say that. I saw and did a lot of things that...it was just better if I...I wanted to forget,” Buck ended up whispering. “I didn’t want you to look at me like some monster or-or some war hero. I wanted a fresh start. I didn’t want to think about over there...everything that happened. So, it was easier to lie to you than tell the truth.”

“But we can’t forget what happens over there. We signed up for it and we did our best, Buck. It always follows you home...you know that if it ever gets to be too much, you can come to me, right,” Eddie asked quietly.

Buck nodded, not meeting Eddie’s eyes, “yeah, yeah. I know. Uh, can we-can we talk about something else now?”

“Did you see the game on Tuesday?”

“No, I missed it, what happened?”

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firefam-stan · 3 years

Photo

(inspired by @bvckleydiaz post: “ someone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write something where eddie and the rest are sitting around telling stories/talking about buck!! my heart needs this! 😩🥺”)

yeah my inspiration muse struck, and here we are

(a.k.a. help I accidentally wrote a bit more than a drabble)

************************************

“Hello? Is anybody in here?”

Eddie looked up from his locker, surprised to see an older couple making their way over from the front entrance. A quick glance around revealed nobody else on duty nearby.

He sighed. He really didn’t want to deal with well-wishing senior citizens today. They tended to be overly nice and expected his full attention, even when he had other things to do. Usually, Eddie enjoyed the visits as a welcome break during the day, but this time he was a bundle of tightly-tensed nerves waiting to combust ever since Buck had come in that morning.

Buck.

Eddie lightly rested his head against the cool metal of the locker, chasing away the sudden onslaught of images from earlier, the terror that had overcome him when he’d thought his friend had... gone in the explosion. The events from earlier had affected him more than he’d let on.

Maybe if he just stayed really still and didn’t look up again, the older couple would find someone else.

“Excuse me?”

Or not.

Eddie turned around, plastering a tight smile onto his face. “Can I help you with anything?”

The man nodded. “Is Evan here? We... need to talk with him.”

Eddie spun around and felt his blood run cold as the words fully registered.

It was them.

And they had the nerve to show up here after Buck had nearly died saving a stranger’s life. Eddie's gaze flickered to the punching bag in the corner, a memory springing up of Buck, angrily punching the ever-loving crap out of it.

“Two dinners, and I’m twelve years old again,” he’d said, face filled with fury. And pain.

And now? Faced with the dread parents themselves?

“Mr. and Mrs. Buckley, I presume?” Eddie finally managed to say, snapping himself back to the present.

“Yes, it’s good to meet you!” Mr. Buckley offered his hand, but Eddie ignored it under the guise of turning around to look for someone else.

“Buck isn’t here right now,” Eddie’s tone was terse. “He’s getting examined after our last call.”

“...examined?”

“Medically examined. He was exposed for too long at the factory fire.”

“Factory fire?!” gasped the woman, dread etched on her features.

The man’s face only hardened, his jaw clenched. “He has no right,” he said. “no right to do this to us!”

“Excuse me?” Eddie interjected, feeling his temper quickly rising to dangerous levels. But he pushed it down, bottled it securely into the bottom of his chest. He couldn’t afford to behave rashly---lives were lost when people behaved rashly.

But he allowed a small trace of his anger to show itself in his eyes and the tense set of his shoulders. Judging by their silence, it was enough.

“If you’ll please come with me, you can wait upstairs in the seating area.”

Eddie gestured up the stairs and they soon followed. But before they reached the top, he turned around and leveled his gaze at them. “Your son is a hero, not the reckless daredevil you think he is.”

“You have no right to tell us what we do or don’t think of our son!”

Eddie clenched his jaw tighter. That punching bag was looking more and more appealing.

“Just please, sit down over there.” He looked up at the seats and saw with relief that Bobby, Hen, and Chimney were all nearby.

Good, that accounted for all his impulse control.

He turned his face away from the couple and raised his eyebrows deliberately to the team. “Bobby, Hen, Chimney, this is Mr. and Mrs. Buckley.”

After that, it got very tense, very quickly. Chimney’s expression was very blank and tightly controlled, while Bobby and Hen looked closer to a tightly wound spring.

“Oh, Howard! It’s good to see you!” smiled Mrs. Buckley, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. “We’re just looking to talk to Evan for a moment. I understand he’s gone and hurt himself?” she pulled a distasteful face.

“With all respect, unless you have something to apologize for, I think you’ve talked to Buck enough for now,” said Bobby, trying to sound courteous.

“He still lets people call him that?” broke in Philip Buckley, clearly annoyed with the fact.

“Yes, and it suits him.” said Hen, stepping forward a bit.

“Oh, enough with the stupid nicknames already!” snapped Margaret Buckley. “Just tell us when he’ll be back!”

Eddie cut in softly, “he’s getting a medical examination after a massive fire and you’re worried about when it’s most convenient for you to talk?”

“That’s not what...” Margaret trailed off. “Fine. What of it?”

“Did you know that he has smoke inhalation--” Eddie started, but Philip cut him off.

“I’m so sorry on his behalf, he seems to get himself injured often. It’s been a problem for--”

Bobby put his hand up. “Stop right there,” they looked up. “You have no right to apologize for him,” he nodded to Eddie. “I think what Mr. Diaz over there was trying to say is that he has smoke inhalation as a result of giving his mask to a stranger trapped in the burning building.”

This seemed to shock them, and they looked at Eddie for confirmation, and he nodded, never breaking his cold stare.

“Well that’s a first,” mumbled Margaret. “I wish he’d had that kind of character when he was younger.”

Bobby squared his shoulders. “I will not tolerate unnecessary and untrue degrading comments in my firehouse.” his tone was icy and brooked no room for disagreement.

“It’s not untrue...” Margaret murmured under her breath.

“That’s enough,” ordered Eddie, letting the soldier in him leak into his tone.

They stood around awkwardly for a few moments, until Hen spoke up. “I’m not sure what you’re thinking, but your son, our Buck, is an incredible person. He would never needlessly endanger himself. He knows we care too much.” That last sentence was ever so slightly barbed.

“One time he climbed to the top of a roller coaster with no safety equipment to get to someone in trouble.” Eddie said, raising an eyebrow. “It was on the news and everything.”

“And the man let go---he failed!” Philip dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand.

“But he still tried!” Hen uncrossed her arms and stood up straighter. “From what we’ve heard, it’s more than you’ve done.”

“Look, we don’t care what he has or hasn’t done, but it wasn’t Evan’s place to complain to you about his personal problems. Did you know he even has to see a therapist?!” Margaret was indignant.

“Margaret,” Philip put his hand on her shoulder. “These firefighters haven’t done anything wrong. We’re here for Evan, not them.”

“He saved my son’s life.” Eddie said suddenly, remembering what Buck had said about Daniel. “He was with my young son on the pier when the tsunami hit.” He shifted, his voice softening. “Christopher would be... gone if Buck hadn’t been there.”

The Buckley’s had frozen. Sensing an opening, Eddie continued, “My son has cerebral palsy, and Buck risked his life over and over again to make sure he was safe. Christopher wouldn’t have stood a chance if he hadn’t been there.”

Just like that, Margaret and Philip stopped. And Eddie knew it was because the story of Christopher had reminded them of Daniel. It was a low blow, he knew, to exploit their grief like that. But he had to make them see.

Chimney picked up the conversation. “He was pinned under a fire truck---it shattered the bones in his leg---and he still came back so he could help people.”

“And he once saved a man who was hanging out of a car windshield on the road. Off duty.” Hen added.

Bobby sighed and cleared his throat. “Whether you see it or not, Buck is a hero. He’s brave and selfless, always making sure everyone else is safe before checking himself.”

Margaret nodded mutely, still processing the information.

“And whether Buck knows it or not, he has a family here who will always be there for him.” Bobby spoke the last part with such conviction that the Buckley’s couldn’t help but look ashamed.

Philip turned to Margaret, unsure how she was reacting. “Margaret, I think we need to apolog---” he stopped short when he noticed Eddie had perked up and was now looking at the door, listening intently.

A red paramedic truck pulled up, and then Eddie was gone, already halfway down the stairs.

Bobby had noticed too, and addressed the couple again. “It looks like Buck is back now. We’re going to go check on him, and we’ll let him know you’re here.”

“And whether he comes up or not is his choice,” added Hen.

Margaret and Philip watched them hurry down to greet Buck.

“We messed up,” she said softly.

Philip only nodded.

#9-1-1 #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #bobby nash #eddie diaz #the buckleys #henrietta wilson #hen wilson #firefam #9-1-1 fanfiction #soft eddie #implied buddie #protective bobby nash #protective eddie diaz #bobby nash is such a dad #christopher diaz

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mr-and-mr-diaz · 3 years

Text

*Gasp* And They Were NEIGHBORS! A Buddie Neighbor AU

This fic is dedicated to @agentmarymargaretskitz who sent me the original prompt (as well as so many others when I wasn’t feeling well, seriously can’t thank you enough and I will respond to each of your asks, I’m just savoring them) and to @justsmilestuffhappens who I have been mutualling back and forth with for a REALLY long time (Hi! Nice to meet you, I love you already!) and wanted to see this prompt happen!

***

“I SWEAR to god, Buck, if I hear even one more word out of your mouth about this guy and his kid I will throw you over this balcony!”

“But Hen--”

“He’s gorgeous, I know! And his kid is the cutest thing since puppies! We get it! Now stop talking about it and do something about it!” Hen sounded mostly exasperated, but dare Buck hope he still heard a little fondness in there as well?

He smiled. “Right. Okay.” Silence followed as he wracked his brains. “Wait, what should I do?? This guy doesn’t know me at all, I haven’t gone over yet to say hello, I’m so worried about being awkward or overkill--”

“Overkill? You??” Chimney chuckled from across the firehouse loft where he was playing the pinball arcade.

“Hey!”

“In all seriousness, Buck,” Chim turned and addressed him, his smile gone from teasing to kind. “You’re gonna be fine, just go say hi. The sooner you get it over with, the less awkward it’ll be. Also, remember you still gotta find out if he’s interested. And available too; if he’s as hot as you say, he could already be dating someone.”

“Oh shit! Wait, what if he is?” Buck put his face in his hands and groaned. “Urgh, what should I do?”

“Why not take over some of those cookies I taught you how to bake last week, Buck?” Buck raised his eyes to Bobby, who was watching him with a small, patient smile. “Nothing out of the ordinary about bringing some baked goods to a new neighbor. It’s a great way to introduce yourself and get in their good books.”

“Okay!” Buck nodded. “Can you help me bake them again, Cap?”

Bobby's nodded, already headed for the pantry. “Of course.”

***

Eddie sighed. He was so glad he moved but it didn’t stop the process from being hell. It had been a long day job hunting and he still needed to find a good school for Chris. At the moment, Chris was in the living room, watching TV.

Eddie got up and went over to the fridge, digging around for the Tupperware of dinner Abuela had sent over and transferring it to a pot to reheat. Soon the smell of delicious posole filled the house and he sat, taking a moment just to savor the scent and feel just a bit more at home.

He was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“No rest for the weary.” Sighing, Eddie stood and shuffled over, glancing through the peephole. A tall man stood there, his hair short and neatly slicked back. He was shuffling back and forth awkwardly, a covered plate in his hands.

Who is this? Eddie opened the door.

“Can I help you?”

“Uh hey!” The man’s eyes lit up and he looked Eddie up and down. He was a bit taller than Eddie and dressed sharply in a firefighter’s uniform. Eddie instantly became aware of the ratty sweatpants and loose Henley he’d thrown on as soon as he’d gotten back home and how mussed his hair likely was from running his fingers through it in frustration. Weirdly though, the man’s smile didn’t dim.

“Hi, My name’s Evan Buckley, I’m your neighbor! Apartment 2B.” He smiled, eyes lingering on Eddie’s for just a moment too long, before he jolted and laughed awkwardly, lifting his hands up. “Cookies! Uh, I mean, I made cookies for you.” The man lifted the cloth off the plate and a heavenly smell wafted from a pile of delicious looking cookies. “They’re chocolate chip macadamia--wait, you don’t have any allergies right? Or gluten intolerant or anything? Or, shit, are you vegan? I should’ve asked, there’s eggs in here...” Evan made to cover the plate again, but Eddie put out a hand, stopping him. He couldn’t help grinning at the guy--the way he rambled, his bright smile.

“You think I’m gonna let you walk away with those now that you’ve offered? They smell great, Evan.”

“Oh thank goodness!” The smile was back and brighter. “And, uh, feel free to call me Buck, all my friends do. And welcome to the neighborhood! It’s nice here, everyone’s polite, except Mr. Grivary in 4C, he can be a bit--but of course you don’t want to hear me rambling...” The guy blushed and Eddie felt his own smile widen. This man was adorable.

“Actually, that sounds like useful information Buck.” Eddie remembered Abuela’s dinner and held the door wider. “I’m not really a cook myself, but we have my Abuela’s posole for dinner, would you like to join us?”

“Yes!! I mean,” Buck blushed again and cleared his throat. “Yeah sure, if it isn’t any trouble...”

***

Buck felt like he’d barely fallen asleep when his doorbell rang.

“Hmm?” He mumbled at the door. Which of course could not be heard by whoever was on the other side. They rang the doorbell again.

“Ugh, fuck... Yeah, coming!” Buck dragged himself out of bed and stumbled to the door, glancing through the peephole. He couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face as he caught sight of golden brown curls, red glasses, and the world’s cutest smile.

“Chris!” He pulled the door open. “What’s up, buddy?”

“I’ve got news!” Chris giggled as he carefully walked into Buck’s apartment and sat himself down at the kitchen table. Buck automatically reached for his crutches and propped them against the chair. It was hardly the first time Chris had come to visit; he came over often to play games, tell Buck about his day, or help him try out a new recipe. “Our school is holding a bake sale on Friday.”

“Those are fun.” Buck sat down across from Chris, voice lowered conspiratorially. “What are you making?”

“That’s the thing.” Christopher’s tone turned sad. “The teacher said it has to be homemade and Dad’s been stressing out about it. He’s super busy with his new job and I know he wants to help, but... He burned water once. Just water.”

“Aw man.” Buck put in every effort not to laugh, but a giggle still escaped. “You want me to help you put something together, take the pressure off your dad?” Christopher nodded happily and Buck reach for his notebook where he carefully documented all of Bobby’s recipes. “How’s cupcakes sound, Superman?”

In short order, they had all the ingredients lined up on the counter, and Chris was comfortably seated right next to the mixer, ready to dump in anything Buck handed him.

“...And then, only after that you want to add the dry stuff. I don’t really know the science behind it yet, I just know that it works. If I do find out, I’ll tell you.”

“Okay. Buck?”

“Hmm?” Buck consulted Bobby’s notes carefully and measured out a cup of flour, handing it over to be added to the mix.

“Where did you learn how to bake so well? Did your mom or dad teach you?”

Buck grinned. “Nah. My captain at the fire station is the best cook I’ve ever met. Everything I baked for you guys I learned from him.”

“Oh.” Christopher reached out a hand for the second cup of carefully measured flour. “Are your parents also bad cooks like my dad?”

“Well, no. My parents are nothing like your dad.” Buck sobered. “My mom cooked a little for us, but mostly we ordered in. And she never... uh, she never had time to teach me or Maddie. I didn’t have a complete homemade meal until I started working at the 118.” He shook his head to clear the thoughts and smiled at Christopher. “But now thanks to Cap, I got an almost-dad who cooks for me every day! And now he’s teaching me so I can do it one day for my kids, if I’m ever lucky enough to have them.”

Christopher thought for a second, absently reaching for the teaspoon of baking powder and adding it to the mix before saying. “I already have a dad, and I don’t want to trade him for anything. But... Could you be my second dad?”

Buck looked up from the salt, startled.

“Like a cooking almost-dad who teaches me how to cook just like your Cap does for you? I want to be able to help Dad so he stops feeling so bad about not cooking.” Christopher was smiling at him, waiting for a response. Buck looked away quickly and took a deep breath, clearing the sudden thickness in his throat and blinking away wet eyes.

“Y-yeah, sure, Chris. I’d be happy to.”

***

Eddie arrived home from work exhausted. As he approached the door, he noted how quiet the apartment sounded. Usually that meant that Christopher was hanging out by Buck’s, but Buck’s apartment was also quiet and dark. Hurrying toward the door, Eddie fumbled with his key and jerked it open as fast as he could--

“SURPRISE!!”

For only two people, Buck and Christopher still managed to startle the shit out of him.

“Fu-fudge! Guys what the hell...!”

“Happy birthday, Dad!” Christopher called from the table.

“Happy birthday, Eddie!” Buck was bent over something, his broad back blocking whatever it was. Then he rose and stepped away to Christopher’s side. He grinned, cheeks slightly flushed. “It’s not perfect, Cap would’ve done it better, but I’d say for Chris and I’s first ever layer cake it’s pretty darn good!” He and Chris high-fived each other as Eddie stepped closer.

The cake was lopsided, and the icing oozed down the sides a bit and on top... was that the number 32?

“Chris did all the writing,” Buck added proudly. “As the mastermind behind this, it was only right that he got the honors.”

“What do you think, Dad?” Chris’ voice bubbled over with delight.

Eddie looked up. They were both watching him, eyes bright, smiles wide, waiting on his response. I think--no, I know have the best kid ever.

And the best Buck.

Eddie couldn’t contain the huge grin that broke out on his face. “It’s perfect.” He looked a them, eyes meeting Christopher's, then Buck’s. “Thank you.”

***

“So when do I get to meet her?” Abuela was layering a container with tamales, her back to Eddie.

“Who?”

“The person you’ve been sharing all my cooking with.” Abuela’s tone brooked no nonsense. “The person who makes you smile to yourself every time you think I’m not looking.”

Eddie startled. “Oh, Buck? He’s not... we’re not--”

“Nonsense, mi amor.” Abuela chuckled, clamping the lid down on the container of tamales and handing them to Eddie’s slack hands. “If he isn’t, then he should be.”

Eddie stopped where he was. Abuela is right. Chris adores him, I adore him... What am I waiting for?

He reached for his phone and sent out a text.

To: Buck

From Eddie:

Abuela made tamales. Come over tonight?

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #neighbors au #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #buddiepher

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