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serendipitouswasteland · 1 year

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All the Small Things

Note: This was transcribed from my AO3.

ship: buddie pov: eddie diaz, third person narrative written: March 8, 2023 first published: March 9, 2023 word count: 4,249 - summary: Five times Eddie Diaz absentmindedly shows his love to Evan Buckley the same way he does to his son, Christopher, and one time Buck does the same but Eddie gets confused.

Every day, Eddie gives Chris a kiss on the forehead or caresses his cheek at some point to show his love for his son– the light of his life, his pride and joy, the reason he fights to come home every day. Every day, Eddie is thankful when Christopher reciprocates through a hug or caressing Eddie's cheek back, because that's just how the Diaz family shows their love for one another. It's normal, and it's a habit– one that's hard to break and seemingly uncontrollable when you love someone, happening absentmindedly. So when it happens the first time, Eddie only thinks about it for a moment before moving on, acting like it's nothing.

Eddie is sick. His nose is running, his eyes are puffy, his voice is hoarse and throat is sore. He can't leave the house like this, much less go to work, but Carla is out of town. Thankfully, he has someone he knows he can always rely on when things go to shit. He calls up Buck, and within fifteen minutes he's entering Eddie's house without even knocking.

"Eddie?" Buck calls, leaning against the doorframe when he finds Eddie still lying in bed in his room. "You feeling okay? You don't look too good."

"It's just a cold," Eddie responds, pulling his comforters up further because not only does he have a cold, his body is freezing.

"Have you taken any cold medicine?"

"Yes. That's not why I called you."

Buck frowns, coming to Eddie's side and placing a hand on the back of his forehead. He not feverish, which is good. Eddie watches as Buck stands up, goes to Eddie's dresser and pulls out some loungewear, throwing it in his direction.

"Get changed. I'll make breakfast and some tea."

"Can you make sure Chris is up?"

"I heard the shower running when I came in, so I'm assuming he's in there."

"Good. We had a late night last night, so neither of us got the chance."

"You know what, you can change after you shower. You shouldn't change into clean clothes when you haven't done that yet."

"I know that, Buck. I'm sick, not an idiot."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Then, Buck is gone. Eddie blinks a few times, slowly, stretching as much as he can before he smells bacon from the kitchen, and he begins to feel like a cartoon character floating towards the source of a scent. Eddie climbs out of bed, not bothering to make it back up when he knows he'll be back there momentarily anyway. He slips on his house shoes, leaving his room. On his way to the kitchen, he grabs a throw blanket from the living room to keep himself warm. When he does finally get to the kitchen, Chris is already settled in his seat putting food on his plate, and Buck is just sitting down himself.

"I don't want to get you sick," Eddie says, barely audible from just how sick he is.

"You're sick?" Chris asks, finally looking up. "Dad, you look terrible. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, buddy. It's just a cold. That does mean I won't be kissing you goodbye today though."

"That's okay," Christopher says, turning back to his food.

"So, what has Buck made for us this morning?" Eddie asks, taking a seat.

"Just some bacon, toast, and eggs. I figured since it's a school morning that I probably shouldn't do anything too fancy, but..."

"You got carried away, didn't you?"

"Just a little bit."

The three of them have breakfast together, and when they're done Buck cleans up all of the dishes while Christopher finishes getting ready in his room and Eddie lies on the couch, half fallen asleep. The thing to make him perk up is when he hears Chris near the door putting on his shoes and Buck passing by, the keys in his hand jangling. Eddie sits up quickly, making his way to the front door right as it opens.

"What's wrong?" Is the first thing out of Buck's mouth, he and Christopher giving Eddie the same worried look.

"Nothing, I just...I wanted to say 'bye' before you left," Eddie says, finishing making his way over.

Eddie places his palm on Chris's cheek, gently cradling his face before telling him he loves him. Chris does the same back before he crutches out the door. Eddie then turns to Buck, giving him a thankful look as he caresses his face in the same way he did to Chris just moments before. Buck's eyebrows pinch together at the action before they're raised, alerting Eddie to what he's done. He jerks his hand away just a centimeter or two, and Buck just smiles, leaving Eddie in the doorway by himself.

It leaves Eddie stunned until he hears the sound of Buck's jeep pulling away, and he decides he should probably shut the door. He decides on showering, changing into the clothes Buck gave him afterward, but his mind is still swimming. Had he really done that? While to most it wouldn't be such a big deal, for Eddie it is. For him, it's the Diaz love signature. It's a way he's been shown love from his abuela, from his sisters, his tía Pepa, and even his parents, and it's the way he's shown it back to them. It's what he's always done to express his love silently, often verbally expressing it at the same time, and he's just done it to Buck, his coworker and best friend. And it's not that he can't do it to a friend, because he definitely can, but something in his gut is telling him it's not, but rather something much, much more than that.

The next time it happens it's not even a cheek caress, either. It's a kiss on the forehead. In hindsight, that is what should have alerted him to his feelings for Buck, but it didn't. It only made him more confused. Bobby and Athena had decided to throw a Christmas party, and, of course, Eddie was invited. In the invitation was a request that every parent bring a gift for the kids to do a gift exchange, which Eddie thought was a nice idea, so he and Chris went out to pick a gift just before their arrival. It was during the gift exchange that the second thing happens.

"Dad?" Christopher whispers from his spot between Eddie and Buck on the couch.

"Yeah, buddy?"

"I'm thirsty."

"Me too," Buck says, and Christopher smiles at him, warming Eddie's heart.

"I'll go get you both something," Eddie says.

He gets up, rounding the back of the couch and kissing the top of Christopher's head. Then, it just happens. He does the same thing to Buck. This time, Eddie doesn't even pause. He doesn't realize what he's done at all. That is, until, he gets back to his seat with a soda for Chris and a beer for Buck that he notices everyone is looking at him, every now and then glancing to Buck before looking back over again.

"Did I miss something?" Eddie asks, looking at Buck to clue him in.

"That's what I'm wondering," Athena says, leaning forward over her crossed legs, looking right at Eddie. "Since when are you two kissing each other's foreheads when you leave the room?"

"What...?" Eddie goes to ask, but looking at Buck once again, things start to click. "Oh, um...I didn't– it's not– that's not– we're not...accident."

Buck just blinks, and Eddie isn't sure what to make of how everyone is feeling. Athena shakes her head and leans back into her chair, Bobby just sits there, brows raised, Karen and Hen share what Eddie likes to call their "all-knowing people watching look", Chimney sits with his brows furrowed, and Maddie is grinning brightly, like she knows exactly what's happening. Then there's Buck. His face is seemingly expressionless, minus the rapid blinking. And Chris. Thank god for the gift exchange, Eddie thinks to himself as he watches Chris participate in the passing around of the gifts rather than paying attention to the conversation being had.

Eddie's not sure how they got to this point, or maybe he does, but now it seems like half the time Eddie is the one to pick up Chris from school, Buck is there with him. Half the days that Eddie is home in the afternoons and evenings, Buck is there, too. Half the time they're not a work, Buck is at the same place as Eddie. It's not like Eddie is complaining, either. He enjoys being with around Buck. He enjoys his presence. He enjoys their conversations and the little moments that only they know about. Today is no different. That is, until the third thing happens.

Eddie and Buck are standing leaning against Eddie's truck as they wait for Christopher to get out of school. Like every day, they're so close that their elbows are touching, but neither of them seem to notice, and if they do, they don't care. Like every day, the second that Eddie sees Chris he opens his arms to pull his son into a hug, followed by him asking about his day. Like every day, when they pull away Eddie kisses the top of his head before patting him on the shoulder as a way of telling him to get in the truck. Not like every day, he kisses Buck on the cheek before, like every day, going to the passenger seat so he can focus on talking with Christopher before they get home.

When they are home, the three of them go straight to the dining table, Chris getting out his homework and getting math help from Buck while Eddie helps him with the rest. Then, at five, Buck gets up from the table and starts on dinner. The three of them stay grouped in conversation all throughout the evening, and when he's done with his homework Chris helps Eddie set the table. Buck finishes cooking and he serves everybody's plates, their conversation only growing more interesting.

"There's a school dance coming up," Christopher says, and Buck looks at Eddie in amusement.

"Oh, a dance?" Eddie asks, excited for his son. "Are you wanting to go?"

"Can I?"

"I think so," Buck says, and Eddie rolls his eyes.

"Can I, Dad? Buck says it's okay," and really, how could Eddie say no?

"Of course you can, buddy. When is it?"

"Next Friday."

"That should be enough time to get a new suit, right?" Eddie asks, more to Buck because, really, Eddie is bad at math.

"I think the more important question is if that's enough time for Chris to find a date," Buck says, and Eddie's eyes widen while Chris just laughs.

"Who said anything about a date? And aren't you the one who said he's too young to be dating?"

"Ah, yes, but there is a difference between acquiring a date for a school function and going out on a date."

"They sound the same to me," Eddie says, shrugging his shoulders.

"So," Buck says, turning to Chris, "are you going with someone?"

"Not right now, but there is this girl that I like."

"Yeah?" Eddie asks, focusing his attention back to his son.

"Yeah. She's super nice. I want to ask her to go with me, but I'm nervous."

"It's okay to be nervous," Buck says, taking lead on the conversation. "Just don't be so nervous that you chicken out."

"Buck is right. If you like her, then you should go up to her tomorrow and say 'Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to the dance next Friday', and see what she says. The worst that could happen is that she says no."

"What happens if she does say no?"

"Then you can either go with a group of friends, you can go by yourself, or you can stay home with us and watch whatever movie we can find on cable," Buck says, and Chris scrunches his face.

"I think I'd rather go alone," Chris says, getting up from the table, and Eddie laughs, big and loud. "Since I finished my homework can I go play video games?"

"Shower first, but when you're done you can, okay?" Eddie says, and Chris grins, immediately making his way down the hall. "Only for an hour, though!"

"Yes, Dad!" Christopher calls back, and both Buck and Eddie smile.

The two men get up from the table, working together to get the kitchen clean. Eddie does the dishes while Buck cleans the table and counters. While Eddie sweeps the floor, Buck puts away the dishes from the night before. We really need Carla back, Eddie thinks to himself. Then, he pauses his sweeping, stuck on his mind's use of the word "we". As in he and Buck, because at this point Buck is essentially Chris's second father, and that's, well...

Despite Christopher's adversity to his father tucking him into bed, claiming it's "too childish" and that he's "too old" for it, Eddie still pops his head in to make sure his computer is off and turn off the lights– and Buck is right there with him. So when Eddie gently pulls Christopher's door shut, turning around to go have a beer in the living room with Buck, he caresses his cheek as he passes by.

Buck follows Eddie out to the living, stuttering on whatever words that he's trying to get out. Eddie sits down on the couch, holding a beer out to Buck who takes it as he sits down next to him. Buck just looks...confused. Flustered, maybe, but definitely confused (a constant state, really, but it's been amplified).

"We need to talk," Buck eventually gets out, and Eddie takes a sip of his beer, raising his eyebrows at him.

"About...?"

"You. Us. This...thing."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the cheek and forehead kisses and face caressing."

"Oh," Eddie says, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "That."

"Yeah. That."

"I don't really know what you want me to say. I don't mean to. It sort of just happens, you know? Like I get in this way with you and Christopher that it just...happens."

"So you don't...like me?"

"Buck..."

"No, no, I don't mean it like– I'm not saying that I like you, or that I think you like me, but just that it felt very...romantic?"

"Romantic?" Eddie asks, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"Or, not– not romantic, but maybe more familial?"

"Buck, look around. You are family. Half the time we're not at work either you're over here or Chris and I are at your place. You help me drop Christopher off some mornings and some afternoons you come with when I'm picking him up. It's– you're practically his parent!" Eddie confesses, letting out his thoughts from earlier.

"Oh," Buck says, sitting with it for a moment. "I mean, I guess I kind of am, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are."

"I guess I just never thought of it like that before. I mean, I know that I'm the one you call when Carla isn't available, and I guess I should have figured it out because of what you put in your will, but– hang on, does Christopher see me as a father?"

"Honestly? I don't know. What I do know is that he definitely sees you as a friend and not an authority figure."

"But would a friend become your legal guardian when his real father dies?" Buck asks, taking a sip of his beer.

"Making jokes of my death, Buckley?" Eddie asks, copying Buck's motions.

"After the number of times you have almost died on me, I think I've earned the right to a couple of jokes," Buck says, and Eddie gets it, especially when Buck says, "Being your friend is traumatizing."

"Hey, now, I'm not the only one who nearly dies every day. You're Mr. Reckless."

"I'm not reckless, I'm young and agile. There's a difference."

"Uh-huh. Sure."

The final time it happens is when things start to change. They're at work, meaning Chris isn't around for Eddie to use as his excuse of "it just happens". Eddie and Hen are sitting at the bar counter, Bobby cooking with Buck's aide, and Chim off to the side on the phone with Maddie. For lunch, Bobby gave Buck full control over making the sauce, and he's bouncing on his feet out of excitement. He scoops some of the sauce out of the pot, holding it out to Hen.

"Buck, I already told you, I'm not taste testing any more food that you make. Not after the oatmeal cookies this morning," Hen says, and both Bobby and Eddie snicker.

"Wha– okay, that was not my fault. Eddie was distracting me."

"All I did was ask if you could help me get Carla a welcome back gift."

"Yeah, distracting. Which means that you have to taste test my sauce," Buck says, coming to Eddie's side and holding the spoon up to him.

Eddie raises his brows, shaking his head once before letting Buck feed him the sauce. It's not bad at all. In fact, it tastes just like Bobby's. It makes Eddie feel proud, smiling at Buck as he pulls the spoon away, still leaning close.

"So? What do you think?"

"You did good," Eddie says, and then it happens.

He kisses Buck on the cheek, right as he's leaving to go back around to the stove. Hen and Bobby turn to each other, sharing a look before they turn back to Buck and Eddie, glancing between the two of them. Bobby opens his mouth to say something, but Chimney beats him to it.

"Did I miss something?"

"Just Eddie and Buck continuing to be Eddie and Buck," Hen says, Chim's face relaxing as he sighs.

"Yeah, that sounds right."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eddie asks, but he receives no answer.

"Alright," Buck says, clapping his hands together. Eddie already knows he wasn't paying attention. "Bobby and I will bring all the food over, you three go sit down."

"Yes, sir," Eddie, Hen, and Chim mock all at once, Buck just rolling his eyes.

Leaving the head of the table for Bobby, the three of them go to sit down. Hen sits to the right of Bobby's seat, the rail behind her. Chim leans over the rail, calling for Ravi and everyone else before sitting to the right of Hen. Eddie sits across from her, telling Ravi to sit in the seat next to the one next to him, claiming he was saving it for Buck.

"You two make me sick," Ravi says, and Chim bursts out laughing, Hen trying to hold hers in.

"What are we laughing about?" Buck asks as he and Bobby come over with trays and bowls and other kitchen materials.

"Absolutely nothing," Chim says, and while he's not entirely wrong, Eddie still shoots him a quick death glare.

As Buck passes, Eddie grabs him by the arm, begging him over. Buck follows, holding out the tray of breadsticks he's carrying so Eddie (and anyone else who wants one) can grab one. Eddie does so, taking a bite immediately. Buck pulls the tray away, kissing Eddie on his cheek before he continues on his way to the center of the table, where he sets down the tray of breadsticks along with his bowl of delicious red pasta sauce before sitting down in the spot saved for him.

Eddie, though, is stuck. His chewing slows, brows pinching together as he looks at Buck questioningly. It's not necessarily new, because Eddie has been doing it to Buck. So no, not new, just...different, because Buck has never done it to Eddie before. Not that he can't, either, but he simply wasn't expecting it. He did, though, and it wasn't out of reciprocity– it was because he wanted to. That is why it's hitting Eddie so hard.

"Uh, Buck—"

"Nope. You don't get to say anything. You do it all the time. Besides, we had that conversation about it, so it's just familial, right? No biggie."

"I'm sorry, since when are you two a family?" Hen asks, pointing her fork between the two of them.

"They've been that way forever," Bobby says, and everyone turns to look at him. "What? They've been best friends for years, and Buck is basically helping to raise Christopher. They work together, half the time they go home together, they have family dinners and go on trips to the beach together. Buck will pick up Chris from school, sometimes with Eddie and others without. If Buck isn't with one or both of them, it's because one of the three of them is sick."

"Well, the last time Eddie was sick– nevermind," Buck says, letting Bobby finish.

"My point is, it's not hard to put two and two together."

"Two and two together?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, what are you talking about?" Buck asks, finishing Eddie's thought for him.

"That."

"So we're good friends," Buck says, clearly avoiding Eddie's gaze. "Is it really that interesting?"

"Very," Hen says, pulling out her phone. "I've got to tell Karen about this."

"Wha—" Buck starts, but Eddie cuts him off by patting his knee.

"We're good friends?"

"Best friends," Buck assures, but there's something missing from the way he sounds.

"Ugh," Ravi exclaims, shaking his head. "You two are terrible."

"We—" Buck starts, but Bobby shaking his head catches their attention.

"Listen," Chimney then says, setting down his napkin after cleaning his face, "I'm not saying you two need to get your act together and kiss already, but..."

"Um," Eddie gets out, Buck stuttering on a string of words.

"Chim is right," Bobby says, followed by Hen saying "ditto", Ravi nodding along.

Buck and Eddie look at each other for a moment before looking away, not talking for the rest of lunch.

Hen, Chim, and Ravi leave the locker room at the same time, Eddie and Buck having been working out post-work plans the entire time rather than grabbing their things. They're still talking, only now that they're alone their conversation has shifted. Eddie looks at Buck with a somewhat longing look before turning away and, finally, opening his locker.

"We gonna talk about it?" Eddie asks, and Buck sighs.

"Do you want to talk now about it?"

"I think we should try it."

"Try what?"

"Kissing. For real. Not a cheek or forehead kiss, but a real kiss."

"Now?"

"Why not? It might finally get them off our backs."

"I don't know. I guess I always thought that—"

"I'm sorry, you've thought about it before?" Eddie asks, stepping away from his locker to look at Buck, fully and completely.

"I mean, I– uh..."

Eddie brings his hand to caress Buck's face, getting him to stop stumbling on his words and just be quiet. They look in each other's eyes, both men occasionally glancing to the other's lips. Then, almost suddenly, their lips crash together, smothering each other with their mouths. Buck pulls Eddie closer by his collar, hands then traveling to hold him by his back. Meanwhile, Eddie has one hand on Buck's chest, keeping him pulled close through his grip on his shirt, his other hand running through Buck's curls.

"Buck?" Eddie says in between kisses.

"Yes?"

"Do you think," a kiss, "maybe," another kiss, "they were right?"

"Most definitely."

Eddie smiles a bit at that, Buck doing the same as Eddie's grip on his shirt loosens and he brings his hand to cup Buck's cheek, caressing his face once again. They're both panting, foreheads leaning against one another as they try to slow down their fast beating hearts. Buck takes Eddie's hand, gently pushing him back over to his locker, the two of them grabbing out their things before leaving the locker room, where they're greeted with the shocked expressions of their friends.

"Well, that was definitely a kiss," Chim says, sighing in defeat.

"Oh, that?" Eddie asks, raising his brows and looking at Buck with a chuckle before looking at Chim again. "That was nothing."

"Yeah, I have had way longer kisses than that– and I mean kisses. Like, I'm not talking makeout sessions. I'm talking five minute kiss because it was high school and it was passing period, so actually technically it was more of a three minutes kiss, because we had a minute to get to each other, three minutes to kiss, and then a minute to get to our classes, but– I'm gonna stop talking. I have to get going. I'll see you at home?"

"Yeah– make sure Chris does his homework, alright?"

"I always do. Don't forget the ingredients for the brownies while you're at the store. Also, we'll talk tonight, right? About..." Buck waves his hands, motioning them between he and Eddie and the locker room.

"Of course we will, and I won't forget. Now go pick up my son from school," Eddie says, caressing Buck's face one more and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Buck smiles, reciprocating the cheek kiss before he jogs off to his jeep. Eddie watches fondly as he goes, turning to say goodbye to everyone, but pausing when he sees the looks on their faces. That, and the fact that Bobby had come out of his office but hadn't said a word.

"Like I said," Bobby says with the smallest smile, "It's not hard to put two and two together."

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