#but I also would need an evening walk to reset my brain I think

[why-the-heck-not]

19.09.23, tuesday

tired !! but nOT SLEEPY damnit

things done today:

2h lecture

4h of coding

#but i should be sleepy bc it’s 8pm and i’m trying to go to sleep early #but I also would need an evening walk to reset my brain I think #but im tired #but if I won’t go I might not be able to rly sleep too well #but !! i am !! tireddd !! #and i dont want to go !!!!! #studyblr #bookblr #booklr #aesthetic #books #study #reading #read #book #studyspo #dark academia #september 2023 #2023

[evilminji]

My WIP fairy hates me. But like... in that homoerotic Nemesis sorta way, I swear.

Cease an desist, woman! (I scream into the void, knowing damn well she, being my own brain, SHAN'T.)

Cause NOW? Now I CAN NOT stop Pondering, with a Capitol P, the life of a Sentient Quirk. The trials and tribulations. The indignities and sufferings. Countless micro-aggression and out right dismissal of sentience. The reduction to the EXTENSION of another.

You are not a person.

You are JUST a Quirk.

An organ that "thinks" itself separate, in the way knees spasm when struck just so. The child you are attached to just needs to get better CONTROL of you. Your words and actions are actually THEIRS. You are simultaneously an unruly animal and strange adult, not allowed near other peoples children.

Why are you trying to follow this four year old into their school? Why are you SITTING out side a pre-school? Are you stalking that child?

You are a grown adult. Connected to a random Japanese child.

The child is expected to "control" you.

Punished if they do not.

No one is listen to EITHER of you, as you try to explain the situation. The child is upset, scared, and does not have the emotional maturity to understand why you are not to blame. All they can understand is that you appeared and everything became stressful and "bad". They started getting punished. Have to share their room now.

Do you even have rights? If you get hurt, get MAIMED, what will happen to you? Can you hold a job? Own land? Open a bank account? Fuck it! Can you have a RELATIONSHIP?

If you went out RIGHT NOW and punched a purse thief, would the FOUR YEAR OLD be arrested?

If the kid grows up, becomes a hero, and you do secretarial work... does his license cover you? If YOU wanted to become a Hero, would he be your hero partner? Could he technically sit in a corner and let you work?

If no one could TELL, over an internet connection, then surely that should prove SOMETHING? Right?

And! The question NO ONE ever seems to ask!

Could..... could you LEAVE? Do people have the right to force you back? If you don't WANT to be some kid's Quirk? You're sentient. If, unlike Dark Shadow, you are not PHYSICALLY connected, but tethered by distance?

Could. You. Leave?

Just "Allright, I'm out. The way you're all treating me is unacceptable. See ya never." And walk out the door? You'd be able to gain distance as the kid grew older. As long as you hid? You be homeless, without papers, but free.

A sentient Quirk means free will. Means you don't HAVE to do shit. It's like being born with a twin, not a slave. And that Twin does NOT have to put up with your bullshit. YOU are the one asking THEM to work with you, after all.

This? Of course, ALSO just ABSOLUTELY BEGS the question? What if that four year old grew up to be a BASTARD? Just... NO self reflection or empathy. Everything is everyone else's fault, always. And they want a NEW Quirk. One that won't question them.

So they sell theirs, buy a new one. Probably die off screen trying to throw it around.

What happens to you THEN? Pain, obviously. Like... massive, massive amounts of pain. You ARE a Quirk. You're being ripped out by your metaphorical roots. By the NERVE ENDINGS. But? Do you... for lack of a better word, "reset"?

Are you back infront of "your" person? Or do you stay, safely, where you are? Both would be fascinating, honestly. Because I imagine All for One? Does NOT get sentient quirks often. If at all.

They'd sooner kill themselves.

After all, if your choice is "kill yourself and your beloved twin" or "be ripped apart and watch them die horribly, then be used to go against everything you both stood for"? You weep and promise to make it fast.

Then you make it fast.

It's... really annoying, I'd imagine, for All for One. It's not necessarily that he WANTS a sentient Quirk. But they are INTERESTING. And he likes interesting.

He also likes owning things that can't leave. Ever.

So of course he'll poke and prod at the Quirk. It will inevitably be a nightmare, either way. Because EVERY Sentient Quirk has some degree of communication aspect to it. Just because the original holder never figured it out, doesn't mean HE can't.

And while your range may now be much, MUCH bigger? Because the fucker is strong as hell? How useful is that... if he can talk to you when ever HE feels like it? Day or night. 24/7.

And that's assuming you don't reset. God help you if you reset. Because THEN your STANDING infront of, most likely, pre-face-smash All for One. Who's looking at you like he just won a Mildly Interesting Prize and you would PREFER HE NOT. But what are you gonna do?

Walk out again?

You think THAT'S an option here?!

I mean... you can and do TRY. But, obviously not. So like? Fuck ™.

THEN the question becomes? Would YOU go to Tarturaus. Are you a hostage? Or an accomplice? You have the same level of power and authority as a cat, deliberately knocking pages of tables and cups to the floor, but... like? Oooooh~ oh yeah! THATS gonna slow him down! His empire crumbles beneath the sheer MIGHT of your petty inconveniences!

*trips the doctor again*

Fffffuck you.

#bnha #bnha ponderings #minji's writing #minji's ponderings #bnha oc #sentient quirks #all for one #prompt i guess? #bnha prompt

[blubushie]

Hey Blu! I just saw one of your old asks on how the mercs designs are good because they look like normal everyday people you can see out on the streets. And that just reminded me of my favorite tropes in fanfic that I don't see that much in today's TF2 fics which the mercs have an uncanniness to them because of their regular looks. Like I remembered it popped up more often in the fics that where publish when I was in high school. Not complaining bc I just appreciate it more when it pops up. Like there's a ficlet still circulating here where while in jail, before comic 2 happens, Scout basicly beats up most of the inmates in jail for ciggs for Spy. It sets up how intimidating Scout is when an inmate twice Scouts size couldn't even move him and how the inmate was jarring reminded that despite his size, Scout is One of the infamous 9 mercenaries.

Like bc of this trope I developed headcanons that the mercs are actually the closest things to super soldiers bc of 1.) Constant fighting/training 2.) Mad science/experimentation of Medic 3.) Respawn keeping them at near top shape/slow aging. So regular looking guys + intense fighting near daily + mad science/magic + random weird shenanigans that happens to them = an uncanniness and uneasiness around the mercs in public when they move in away /do stuff no average person can do or is expected to do of their appearance.

Sorry if this makes no sense it's 7:14am and I literally JUST woke up, do not expect lucidity from me yet

I love this shit and it features slightly in my fic, both in Jesse's fighting ability but also Mundy's. Primarily it's Mundy's—he gets in more fistfights in the fic than Jesse (though not for her lack of aggression).

I don't think RESPAWN would do much via muscle training—every time they die, any muscle progression is just reset. So the physically strongest of the mercs would be those that don't die often. Heavy, because of his health bar, and maybe Medic, because everyone protects him (and he lugs around the Medigun which must weigh a fucken tonne). This is supported a little by Medic outright lifting Soldier off his feet in Expiration Date.

But there's gotta be some shit they're feeding those cunts if Spy can one-handed fire his stock revolver, a .357 Colt Python; the Big Kill, a S&W Model 29 .44; and the Ambassador, a Dan Wesson PPC .357 (THAT WEIGHS 3.6kg MIND YOU—ALMOST AS MUCH AS MY RIFLE WITHOUT HER SCOPE). This is without mentioning that the Russian translation of the Sniper VS Spy update states that the Ambassador actually fires .50AE like it's a fucken Deagle. Spy's grip strength must be INSANE.

Mostly though I reckon it's mental fortitude over physical. Believe me, you train harder in combat situations than ACTUAL training scenarios because trauma makes shit stick in your brain better. You learn lessons when there's risk better than when there's no risk involved. And with often the mercs die and engage each other physically, I'm fully on the boat of "they look normal, but they're not".

The freakier is that I think they actually blend very well into public environments. Sometimes Sniper walks to the shops in SST minus the thongs and looks like any other bloke off the street you'd see at a servo. Sometimes Scout goes in to the local diner for their all-you-can-eat chicken and waffles deal. Sometimes Engie visits the local tack shop "just for a look around", Soldier and Demo go fishing together, Medic goes to the pharmacy and looking at any of them you'd never suspect a thing.

They all have an almost uncanny ability to look like they entirely belong whereever they are and blend into their environment, so really the only time you even get a hint that they aren't your average person is when there's a situation where they need to showcase their skills. Scout catches a flyball while walking past the local baseball field practically without looking and tosses it back. Soldier can jump down stairs while in a rush and stick the landing with no injury. Demo recognises the sulphur of a gas leak before anyone else can smell it. Spy can lift things his scrawny frame shouldn't be able to lift, Engie can notice any shimmer or shiny thing regardless how small, Sniper has a hawk's eyes and can pick out movement from a half a click away in the dark where other people just see black.

Their jobs have made them very effective professionals—it's a pity the general public so rarely gets to see it.

#blu whos #tf2

[aidaronan]

Hello, Sailor

[A little drabble (unless I find a spot for it in a future fic) because I need Eddie to see Steve in his Scoops uniform. AU where the Russian/Mindflayer stuff doesn't happen or happens at a different point in time anyway.] The best summer of Steve’s life is spent at Scoops Ahoy with Robin Buckley. It’s so good that he thinks he’s in love with her until they spend a night drinking and he confesses all of his feelings in a vomit of words. 

And then she makes a confession of her own. 

And oh. 

It hurts a little because he’d already started dreaming of some future with her. But he never tells her any of those little dreams he had. That’s his burden, not hers.

And he still loves her, just not the same way he thought he might. She makes him laugh, and she makes him want to be better like the kids and Nancy do. So it’s a no brainer when she asks him to pick her up after band practice. 

“My mom forgot she has some stupid lady party.” 

“Lady party?” 

“I don’t know. Tupperware. Makeup. There’s always some kind of pyramid scheme with the Hawkins housewife brigade, right?” 

“Uh, right?” Steve’s mom is never around to participate in any of that, if she even would. Steve checks the clock in the back room at Scoops. “I get off in ten, and then I’ll be that way.” 

“God, thank you, you’re a total life saver. Like, I could walk but also could I? My feet are absolutely killing me from marching. The whole woodwind line kept screwing up and we had to reset like twenty times.”

“Hey, no walking necessary. I’m always good for a ride as long as I’m not working. Even when I am working if it’s an emergency. Got it?” 

“You’re the best, Steve.” 

“I know, I know. See ya soon.” 

He makes sure to pack up a scoop of Robin’s favorite ice cream before he leaves. 

#

Eddie emerges from setting up the next Hellfire session to find Robin Buckley sitting on the front steps, chewing on her fingernails. 

He thinks about walking right past her, but on some level, he suspects he and she have a bit in common, and that makes him feel at least a little obligated to check on her. People like them have to help their own because no one else fucking will. 

“Okay there, Buckley?” 

“Yeah!” She blurts it, smiling automatically before she seems to realize that was a little overzealous, her shoulders deflating. “Yeah, no, I just…” Her hands start moving. “I had to call for a ride because my mom had a whole thing or whatever with her friends. It’s fine. He had to finish his–Oh, and there he is.” An exhale of relief. 

Eddie turns to see a BMW rolling to a stop a few feet away. 

He’s about to offer to help Robin with her stuff when Steve Harrington gets out of the car. 

In…

He’s wearing…

He…

Eddie’s brain makes a noise a lot like a busted stereo eating a cassette tape, and then it just kind of shuts down for several seconds.  

Steve is wearing some kind of sailor suit, miles and miles of leg on display. His thighs are hairy and muscular, his calves defined and lined. Plus his lips–when the hell did Steve Harrington’s mouth get so pink? Is he wearing fucking tinted chapstick? 

“Holy shit,” Eddie says, choking on his words, so painfully and obviously having a moment about fucking King Steve. 

Thankfully Robin’s too busy meeting Steve with a hug to notice. Steve throws his arms around her, his shirt flying up and no, no that’s too much skin on one man. Eddie needs a cigarette. 

“Munson.” Steve acknowledges him with a mild look of confusion when he picks up Robin’s instrument case and backpack, leaving her with just her jacket and tiny purse to contend with. 

“Did I miss a costume party invite?” Eddie asks. Seriously, what in the shit-flying hell? 

Steve looks down at his outfit and blushes furiously. “Uniform. Scoops Ahoy. It’s an ice cream shop at Starcourt. The, you know, the mall?”

Eddie slips his hands into his pockets and presses his lips tightly together because he gets the sense that if he doesn’t respond, Steve will just keep trying to explain. And it’s kind of cute, right? To see Steve Harrington off kilter, flapping those too-pink lips.

“You do know about the mall, right? No, that’s stupid. Everyone knows about the–”

“I have homework, dingus,” Robin says, head sticking out of the passenger window.

“Right. Coming, Rob.” Steve jogs to the car and puts all her things in the backseat. Jesus H. Christ, Eddie finally understands viscerally what straight dudes get out of girls wearing sexy versions of occupational uniforms.  

“Hey, Harrington!” Eddie calls. 

Steve pauses with one arm on the roof of the car. He raises his eyebrow in a silent what?

“You serve banana splits at that sailor joint?” 

Steve does not sound thrilled about it when he says, “All day every day.”

“Good to know.” 

Steve looks at him for a long moment, adorably confused, and then he slips into the driver's seat. When they drive away, Robin’s talking to Steve about something, her hands wildly animated between bites of ice cream. 

Eddie wonders at that friendship, if Steve thinks he’s courting her, if she’s letting him think that or not. 

And then he just wonders at Steve and his cherry pink lips and his fucking legs. 

“Fuck.” Eddie finds the pack of cigarettes in the glove box of his van and lights up. 

He’s going to blow, just, so much money on ice cream this year.  

#steddie #pre-steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #swearing #drabble #fanfic #mine

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen! I hope that the fall season is bringing you good times & gorgeous weather. I’m writing because I really need some advice on how to find some balance & get my brain to behave right now. I’m almost thirty and I’ve dated a handful of women who I’ve thoroughly enjoyed, but I recently met a woman who seems to have taken over my brain in a way that has never happened to me before. The feeling of having this intense, thought-consuming crush is brand new for me, and it’s frustratingly distracting! I enjoy her so much, but I find myself practically consumed with it, and unable to focus on almost anything or anyone else. The thoughts of her are nearly constant and I’m worried that it’s going to ruin my connections with other people & the focus on growth within myself. Do you have any advice on how to gently balance the feelings of an intense crush so that it doesn’t…well, crush me? This seems like such a silly, high school question for me to be asking this far into my life but I’ve genuinely never felt this way before and its a lot to handle!

Love and crushes can dominate our thoughts and bodies and I don't think this is a rare experience. I personally believe that chemistry is a real thing and we can't control how intense it is with another person. It just happens and then we have to figure out how to deal with it.

If you haven't spoken to her about it I would suggest that you are honest with her at least in letting her know you have romantic interest in her. Friendships that fall apart over one not returning more intense feelings are probably not that strong to begin with. You don't have to divulge that you are "obsessed" or go to deeply into the intensity of your feelings. Speaking with her and getting an idea of her interest can help to manage your feelings.

If she is not interested that sort of clarity or closure can help you to work through it more quickly and to "reset" your brain and heart to see her as just a friend. IF you spend all of your time wondering how she feels or if she would be upset or happy at your emotions you end up wasting precious energy that can be spent enjoying your time with her, either as a romantic interest or a friend.

Sometimes writing down a list or journaling can help to get some resolution to feelings that feel over whelming. It is one part getting it all out and one part distraction and one part time spent focusing on it so that you can process things. Walking though Reasons why you like her can give you a good feeling and at the same time start to work out reality vs the idea of love. The idea of some one is often way more impressive that the reality.

The easiest answer is time. Finding a new person you click with, even just a friend, can be very exciting and stoke powerful feel good emotions. Time can ease that thrill into just a comfortable companionship.

Also to reassure you. It is normal and common for use to get into a "bubble" with a new friend and forget to put energy into those that already exist. Good and solid friendships can handle those lapses and eventually you get back to normal. No good friend is ever surprised when they see a buddy "fall" for a new person in her life and most can just wait you out or even be an ear for you to bend in order to figure out just HOW much you like this new woman in your life.

I know none of this is a black and white answer, but I hope some of this will let you know you are not the only woman in the world who finds themselves intensely attracted to a new friend nor will you be the last. You are experiencing a very normal path that many lesbians navigate daily.

#lesbian #dating #love #friendship

[his-writing-blog]

Crazy for you, oh boy | Shane x Harvey

Quick tags not in tags: suicidal thoughts mentioned, getting together, mostly fluff, bit of dark humor, they were friends before that, ooc sewers

Shane stood by the Saloon's bar in his usual spot. Also as usual, he was holding a pint of beer in his arm. And in his usual manner, Shane took a sip of his drink. Usually, his mind would be plauged by the visions (getting to work at jojamarkt next day).

Yoba, how he hated that place. He wouldn't work there anymore if he had any say in it. Sadly, he needed that money. Plus, he can't just leave poor Sam alone within the land of Tartarus under the lead of Krotos (Morris).

What was unusuall tonight, was the lack of thoughts regarding his little hell. Tonight his mind was stuck in the purgatory of longing after a feeling. A feeling that he wished for harder with each gramm of the alcohol in his blood.

Shane wasn't prone to those soul minglings before being brought back from the dead at The Clinic. The sight of his momentary guardian asleep on the fucking plastic stool, leaned agains the wall, legs curled to his chest and prepped against Shane's bed frame, made the ex-alcocholic stirr something deep inside of his chest and reset in his brain. He didn't think he could go back to looking at the man the same way he did before. In seconds, Harvey got promoted from being this mystical doctor seen by Shane once when he was running late to his job, to a real person that Shane wanted to get closer to.

Shane wouldn't have known what to call his current feeling if it wasn't for the new farmer, Laura. For someone so disorganised as him, Laura could muster up some good advice when coherent enough.

"The desire to be desired. And the desire to desire that thing the same way." Laura told Shane. He stopped in his track after hearing that. And then he burst out laughing. "What? If I didn't desire to pass down my legacy and Guiliermo didn't desire to be owned by me specifically, we wouldn't have each other!" She picked up her cat up to Shane's face. The orange cat looked at him right in the eye, as if challenging him. To what, Shane had no idea. But the devil's youngling must have sensed his lack of defense and meowed loudly in victory. Shane just turned around and went back to Marnie after loosing the one sided battle. He heard the farmer's laughter goes quiet as he walked.

Closing his eyes, Shane could almost see Harvey's face staring at him fondly. His mind tried to imagine his expression change to more passionate one. Shane tried not to let his mind take control. The more thoughts of this calliber, the most likely he was to send his addictions to the bottom of the cliffs alongside with him.

He looked down at his glass, half full with a beer. It was supposed to be his first and only one tonight. But with how things were going, Shane was tempted to throw the glass across the whole local and preach the words of his soul. How he felt because of the booze. How the will feel because of the booze. How it could ruin their life as hard as it ruined his. How one drink led to another to another to another to another to another to another to anot-

Warm chocolate eyes blinked at him right before his face. Shane relaxed his grip on the glass. He pushed it towards Gus, dropped some coins on the counter and left. He ignored the looks given by the townfolks and let himself fall into the fresh breeze outside. He stood in front of the darkness that loomed over the town at the edge of the forest. Without any more thought, he let himself be swallowed by it. It wasn't long before his eyes got used to the lack of the warm radiation of laps lit up around the town. The sky was truely one of the main reasons why Shane didn't get with his plans. Constelations of unwandered paths streched right above his small and meaningless life. Glittering and saying that maybe it was worth being there even if just to marvel at their beauty for a fleeting moment.

Shane wandered around the forest, his gaze lost in the stars, mind still by the fond eyes it couldn't bare to leave behind. He didn't know how long he was out there untill he saw the edge of the cliffs. Instead of heading acrossthe grass, Shane followed the overgrown path. It led to a narrow stairs that led to the large pipe that finished (or started?) the maze of sewer canals spread under the town. Drunk Shane liked to joked that it was an underground mirror reflecting the spiralls and labirynths made by stars. As if an artist scribbled down the unseen paths between stars and the pages landed on the desk of a rough engineer who tried and failed to recreate their grace.

As Shane marveled upon the genius of the cosmic blueprint, a quiet song was to be heard. He looked around, trying to find its source. After seeing nobody at the forest's clearing and no soul on the beach below, Shane was sure that it was coming from inside the pipe. His body tensed up, ready to initiate a fight or flight revalation at whatever might come from the sewer. The thing is, Shane would be nothing wothout his brain. And his brain, soothed by the strange melody, didn't want to response accordingly. So he sat at the top of the stairs, entranced by how sweet the sounds were. He was almost lulled to sleep by it when he started to sway to the rythm lightly. He got startled when he heart someone sing along the tune. What shocked him more was the fact that the voice was coming from his mouth. The words to the song came to him with a blink of an eye. Shane let himself be taken by the melody's current. And with a small smile on his lips, he sang.

"Harvey, nobody knows what I see."

#shane x harvey #harvey x shane #not gonna tag under names/sdv because ik how annoying it gets to see not liked ships under general tags #but they are from sdv do not be fooled #i might have inserted myself into shane a little bit but he's just too relatable #anyways #perchance. #I'm sleep deprived #not sure how correctly it is written bc english is my second language #so it might be polish gramma with english words #big letters/small letters are all intentional. it's The Clinic and jojamarkt bc fuck you #we disrespect jojamarkt here #i didn't proofread it before posting #i will read it in the morning and continue #I'm already saying that I played sdv just for a little bit and still don't have some places unlocked #i have no idea what is in the sewers but i'm using them here

[philtstone]

22 (kisses on head) Sam Wilson & dealer's choice

its been 84 years & i finally finished writing this .... inspired by life events bc apparently thats how most of my fatws stories seem to work these days. also shoutout to @foolgobi65, my bestie and co-middle aged fictional man. miss u so much, praying that in 1 month i will be a 60 dollar flight away from u, etc etc

It takes Sam a few tries to make the call.

Okay, so maybe that's hypocritical of him. It's okay to reach out to people when you need 'em, Buck. I'm here if you need to talk about anything, B. You know avoiding the world won't make anything easier, man.

Yeah, yeah -- so Sam's sometimes a textbook example of do as I say, not as I do. His sister would be the first to remind him of this, loudly and annoyingly. Recently, Bucky's taken to agreeing with her -- loudly and annoyingly, after he's given Sam a mildly amused eyebrow at the liberal shortening of his already short nickname -- but it's hard to remember that, and the general cross bleeding of their lives over and across like veins, when he hasn't seen Bucky in a month and their texts have been few and far between.

Not for any nefarious reason or anything. Sam's just been busy. Sitting in interminable meetings with assholes. Getting asked inane leading questions about his stance on global politics. Trying to push through the legal work of actually getting clean water to multiple places in literal first world nations. Bull-fuckin’-shit, Sam thinks. There is perpetual grit behind his eyes. The urge to dangle senators by their ankles from the top of multi-story buildings is real. He and Bucky did that a couple times, in the early days, but then Rhodey got in trouble because of it, so they agreed to ease off for a bit. So now Sam hasn’t even got that as an outlet, and it’s on him to figure out this messed up world for everyone else 'cause for every person who seems to care to try it, there are hundreds more who couldn't give a shit. He needs a vacation. Or a reset. Something to remind him what being Captain America is really about.

And Bucky's -- well, he's definitely not retired, but Sam thinks he deserves some peace and quiet, after everything.

The phone rings a fifth time. It's two in the morning. Sam sits in the dark quiet of his hotel room and is about to swipe end call and just content himself with a short text hey man, how's it going? when suddenly the call connects.

Sam squints.

"Why am I looking at a weird corner of your ceiling?" he asks, before his tired brain can catch up to the possibility that maybe something is deeply, horribly wrong, and there are bad guys there, and their mutual worlds are about to end for the twentieth time.

Then Bucky's forehead pops up from behind the kitchen counter.

“Sam, hey,” he says, before Sam can question further. The phone camera shakes like it’s being propped up against something by a hasty hand, “Gimme a sec, I’m in the middle of something.”

The forehead disappears. Not in a normal way, like Bucky walking out of frame, but in a weird way, like Bucky dropping below the counter to the floor.

“C’mon, ya little twerp, slow down a second …”

“Uh …” Sam wets his lips. “Is now a bad time?”

“‘S fine!” calls his friend’s disembodied voice. “Talk, I’m listenin’.” There is a thump, and a small yowl, and a distinctively Bucky-flavoured grunt. 

Sam can see the edge of Bucky's stove behind him and slowly registers the warm kitchen lighting and mess of kitchen implements strewn ... everywhere.

"What ... exactly are you doing?"

"Wrangling," says Bucky. "How've you been?" 

Could be better should be Sam's honest response. Instead he blinks at the obvious noises of scuffle, the muffled thud of metal limb against laminate kitchen island, some plaintive meows, and ...

Squeaking?

Peep peep peep peep peep.

“Fuckin’ – Alpine!”

“I told you that cat’s possessed,” Sam says, for lack of anything else to contribute to the mystifying noises coming from his phone. 

“Aha!” yells Bucky. There is a particularly despondent screech, and the peeping ramps up in intensity. 

Three months ago they’d got caught trying to bust some superpowered underground fight club and spent two days stuck in some underground bunker under threat of fighting in said club. Could make big bucks, taking bets on Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Sam wishes those violence-mongering assholes could see the two of them now.

Bucky’s head reappears.

“She’s not possessed,” he says. Sam can’t exactly agree, when directly to Bucky’s left, the little white housecat he found in the dumpsters behind his apartment last February is doing her best to wage feral holy war against the impervious plates of his left hand, which has got her hovering four feet above the ground by the scruff of her neck. Bucky himself seems unbothered by the crazy feline trying to maul his hand, and in fact unbothered in general, despite his wild case of bedhead, hole-ridden pajama shirt and slightly faded underwear all captured in frame. His other hand, stretched all the way out in the other direction, is held tightly in a fist.

And it’s squeaking.

“Bucky,” Sam says slowly, “I get that you got this whole nonviolence thing goin’ on right now –” It’s been a new thing Bucky keeps bringing up in sardonic therapy speak, always raising his eyebrows to show that he’s the only one allowed in on the joke, as if Sam knows he hasn’t touched a gun in three years – “but is two am really the right time to stop your honest to God housecat from takin’ out a mouse in your kitchen?”

“Mouse?” Bucky says with a frown. Then he grins. “Aw, no, I found him in the elevator today. Dunno how he got there.” Then, with impossible gentleness, he brings his fist up to the blurry camera, so Sam can see the fuzzy yellow crown of a tiny, very squeaky duckling.

Sam stares.

“That’s a duck,” he says.

“Duck-ling,” Bucky corrects. “He’s kind of helpless. Kept falling over on its own ass ‘til I brought him up. I think he was in shock.”

Peep, says the little duckling, as if agreeing. Or maybe as if to say, And then you exposed me to your psycho cat, asshole, you don’t think that was traumatizing? 

Maybe Bucky speaks duck better than Sam does, because he only grins, widely, and then proceeds to press a small kiss to the top of the duckling’s head.

Sam feels like he must be dreaming.

“You adopted a duckling?” he manages.

“Not officially,” Bucky protests.

“You can’t just adopt a duckling in Brooklyn.”

“I got a bathtub!”

“You got a shower cubicle, man.”

“Okay, fine, I got a sink.”

“Dude, you can’t rehome a duck in your tiny ass sink.”

“He hasn’t got anywhere else to go, Sam, he’s just a baby.”

Sam gestures in mild distress to the cat, who is still trying desperately to escape her vibranium bonds. “Is this not considered a barrier to duck adoption?!” he says.

Bucky sighs, the kind that slumps your shoulders up and down. He holds Alpine up to his face, sternly. She is midway through attempting to chew his wrist with her pointy little cat teeth. 

“You got wax in your ears? Knock it off, Sweets. Whaddaya want, more attention? You want a kiss on the forehead, too?”

“I do not get paid enough for this,” Sam says, putting his head in his hands and staring across the room.

Peep peep peep agrees the duckling.

“Look,” Bucky says, gesturing with his duckling hand. “I’ll think of something.”

“Something stupid,” says Sam.

Bucky doesn’t seem bothered, though. “So what’d you wanna talk to me about?” he asks.

Sam pauses. He’s got to think about it now. In fact – the edge of need that had been present just four minutes ago has mostly disappeared. He takes in Bucky’s disheveled appearance again. 

“You still goin’ down next weekend?”

It is a long weekend. Thanksgiving, to be precise. Sam has spent many a Thanksgiving dreaming of his sister’s cooking; he’s not sure he has the mental fortitude to skip out on it this year, when nothing world-ending is happening.

Bucky gives him a weird look. “Sure. Are you?”

“Delacroix’s still doin’ its food drive, right?”

“Sure,” says Bucky again. He scratches an itch behind his ear with the watch strap around his right wrist. The duckling squeaks. “Maybe you should go.”

“Maybe I should,” Sam says. He doesn’t feel relief, exactly, but there is a cousin feeling, somewhere in his chest, that he does not have words for at two a.m., “to make sure you won’t be pullin’ lame moves on my little sister.”

“You wouldn’t know a move if it danced naked in front of you, Sam,” Bucky says, without missing a beat. Alpine, who has been quiet since threatened, makes a sudden, aborted move towards Bucky’s right hand. Smoothly, behind the counter, Bucky takes a couple steps back and opens the empty garbage can with his bare foot before dropping Alpine into it. “Behave,” he tells her muffled protests. 

“I know so many moves. I am super smooth with the ladies. And your pasty ass better not be doing any naked dancing, or we’ll have words.”

Bucky lets out a very long-suffering sigh. “Just because Ms. Gloria next door likes me best …”

“She makes a mean sweet potato pie every Thanksgiving,” Sam agrees sadly. “I used to get that extra piece, you know?”

“I can’t say no when Sarah invites me, Sam, come on.”

“So she inviting you now, is that how this works? She doesn’t invite me.”

“That’s ‘cause you invite yourself. Or she bullies you into coming home.”

Both of these things being true, they are both laughing before Sam knows it. He is decidedly less exhausted than before. Tired, sleepy, sure, but not exhausted. Bucky has now moved on to cleaning up his kitchen one-handedly, which he’s gotten pretty good at recently. Bucky himself counts it as progress, and so does everyone else. 

Sam catches his breath. “Yeah, alright,” he says. “I should get some rest, then.”

He gets subjected to a long look through the camera. “See you next weekend?” Bucky says finally.

And maybe that was the exact question Sam had been itching to ask. It’s been a long while since he’s had a friend that’s basically family. It hits different. Sam’s happy to get used to it again, bit by bit.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. I don’t think I can tell you all the shit I’ve been dealing with unless we’re out in the middle of nowhere.”

Bucky narrows his eyes. “For security reasons or Sam-telling-a-story reasons?”

“Man, I can tell a story over the phone.”

“Yeah, but you like having the ambiance. Brings the best out in you.”

“Fishing and stories just mix right.”

“Whatever you say, Sam.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, maybe you can bring that little fluff ball with you. Can you imagine takin’ that thing through airport security?”

Except, oh no. Bucky’s eyes are widening with the sharp glimmer of a new, stupid idea.

“Huh,” he says, aloud. Peep peep, says the duckling. 

“You are not foisting that duckling on me,” Sam says.

“You do have a bird-themed costume. And Sarah’s house has a bathtub.”

But before Sam can open his mouth to argue, there is the loud crash of the garbage can tipping over, and the blurry white figure of Alpine pouncing onto Bucky’s head. 

“Shit! Alpine!”

Sam divines that he’s dropped the duckling.

“You know how long it took me to catch him?!”

Mroooow, howls Alpine, who is now on the counter, blocking most of the frame.

To the renewed sounds of frantic peeping from the kitchen floor, Sam laughs. “Dude,” he says, “you know your neighbors hate your ass right now.”

And it’s maybe fitting, that the last thing he sees before he ends the call is Bucky’s disembodied metal fist, flipping him the bird.

#my writing #its not much but its honest work #the falcon and the winter soldier #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sam x bucky #sarah x bucky #marvel #touch prompt meme

[nabesthetics]

Soo, may I ask your honest opinion on the new tale, please? 🫢

Well.

I slept to reset my brain, went through some of the options I was missing, and the conclusion is still the same: it's… empty.

The plot: nothing happens

So these two go to the Magic Realms in search of a spell, supposedly get sent to the past, meet pre-plague Asra, get a vague warning about the spell being dangerous, find out that they didn't get sent to the past, and end up with a decision on using the spell or not.

If you cut out the fluff, look at only the plot side of it, we get two options: either the MC vaguely fucks up, or… nothing happens. Let's go through the latter first, since it's supposed to be the "good" ending.

So, option 1: they decide to not use the spell, the Magician gives them some other advice, and they go back to the Palace to tell everyone else that they need to.......clean up the beach. That's all they gain from this entire adventure.

Option 2: they ignore the warning, cast the spell, summon some monster, and we end up with an, again, very vague hint at "there are some other consequences".

That's it. This is… this is all that we gain, all that the characters gain. I guess in the "bad" ending there's a lesson of "don't use a fucking time-altering spell when your past self tells you not to", but we don't see the consequences, so this gives me nothing either. In the "good" ending we just get to carve a heart on that one poor tree.

The characters: DO Y'ALL FEEL ANYTHING??

This is the most weird part for me actually. Look, I don't think a short story needs some intricate plot to be good (although if it involves time travel yes it does but that's besides the point), but the characters have to react to things around them for the story to feel… to feel.

Asra and MC are too busy getting all over each other to express any sort of strong emotions. They have a stronger reaction to baby turtles than to time travel. Asra thinks that he meets his younger self, and he doesn't react. "Other Asra" (Coraline theme plays softly in the distance btw) is told about the incoming plague and he just kinda goes "damn". Other Asra also mentions that pre-plague MC is somewhere in the city, and it's never acknowledged by any of the characters!! You'd think the MC would at least have some thought about the opportunity to meet that version of themselves!!! But no. They nap about it.

The dialogue:

The plot: I have questions

We're never told why and how Asra really erased the spell from his memory. This could be fixed as simple as with a hint that he tried to use it once to bring the MC back, or to bring back their memories, or to fight the Plague, anything. But no it's reduced to "it's dangerous and forbidden time magic".

btw if it's forbidden why does babby Asra have it in his spellbook

So how on earth did MC and Asra talk to Past Asra and walk around Vesuvia if it's all supposed to be a memory/illusion/etc?

if there are hundreds of baby turtles hurried to get to the sea then it means that there are natural turtle predators in the Magic Realms. Entire realm animal ecosystems. In this essay I will—

Since when does the Magician just hand over entire spells? Or sea restoration instructions??

Scout literally didn't have to be there, leave the poor dog out of this

Conclusion: i'm tired

Look I don't want it to be bad. I'm not sitting on the edge of my seat hoping for Dorian to fail. I'm starved for content and would love nothing more than some actually good new tales from the "canon" sources. Hell, right until the "time travel illusion memory" hit, I was even hopeful! It didn't read great, but with some editing to the dialogue I did in my brain it was alright! But it all fell apart as soon as we got to the "meaty" part of the plot.

Will I read the rest? Well, Julian's and Lucio's for sure, the rest will probably depend on how others feel about them.

Idk how to end the post, that's it that's the opinion. I'm gonna go play with my dragons

#the Arcana #Dorian app #Dorian era

[tychodorian]

Writer's Block and NaNoWriMo?

What's your go-to strategy for overcoming writer's block during NaNoWriMo?

Or... really at any time?

Last week I cranked out 10k words in one day for my book, and I'm probably going to do it again this week (not because I'm cool but because I'm terrible at planning and this is my life now). I had someone ask me in my Discord... how? Let's talk about it!

I'd like to say right out the gate that I know that there's been some controversy with NaNoWriMo this year, but I'm not super privy to what's going on and merely use their site as a word counter for my own projects. I don't condone any actions by any predatory individuals.

With that out of the way!

Ah... November - the month of literary inspiration, caffeine-induced anxiety, and the frenzied tapping of keyboards. NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, is a marathon for writers. Yet, even the most seasoned wordsmiths can hit the dreaded wall known as... WRITER'S BLOCK. How do we vault over this darn wall?

This is what I typically do to meet that 50k goal or to just write at all during the times when I feel burnt out and really don't want to.

Freewriting

When the cursor is blinking and mocking you, just write. And I know that sounds silly, but this is the first thing that I do when I feel like I'm stuck. Literally enter a trance state and just vomit words. Don't judge them. They don't have to be perfect, don't even have to make sense. Just unshackle your thoughts and let them go. No structure, no coherence - just creativity. You'll find that you can get out a lot of words quickly and without judgement, and then you can go back an edit later. We're not worrying about that right now!

Connect with Fellow Authors

When you're really stuck, bounce ideas off of other authors! Assemble your friends and run ideas by them. If you're having trouble finding other writers, check out your social media of choice, as there likely are a bunch of writers hiding like little goblins in there looking for friends, too.

Characters Drive the Plot

This is the central focus of all of my books. Characters and their motivations always trump plot. Rather than relying on plot devices to drive your story forward, just ask a simple question: What would the characters do now? What events shaped them to get them to this point? What secrets do they have? Exploring these backstories not only enriches your characters but can also lead you to plot twists and narrative threads you haven't considered yet.

Stop writing!

Seriously, just stop. Put it down. Walk away. You might feel like there's a time crunch, but guaranteed there's enough time for a 30 minute tea break. Walk, meditate, or go and veg on a show for a second. Your brain most likely just needs a little time to reset and refresh.

SO! What do you do? What are your favorite tips that get you through writing massive amounts of words at one time? I'm thinking about making a long-format video for my YouTube that compiles all of these tips, so drop your best ones and I'll tag you if you're featured!

#publishing #self publishing #writing #authors of tumblr #nanowrimo #national novel writing month #word count #trans author

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

Send me a character prompt:

What is your opinion of Drake Mallard: DuckTales 2017 edition?

First impression: "This guy is such a dork....I love him so much. Also, got to love when someone is clearly a huge fan of a franchise gets to have a role in a major project for it."

Impression now: "Why isn't the apparent Darkwing reboot going to be connected to DuckTales 2017? You made me love this version of Drake and then basically just tell me I'm never going to see him again?"

Favorite moment: The moment where we actually learn who he is, with it being made even more awesome because it follows not only him showing he's got what it takes to be a hero instead of just playing one, but him essentially agreeing to take up Launchpad's suggestion that he be Darkwing for real.

Idea for a story: I feel like a situation where he's forced to use the Gizmosuit for whatever reason would be entertaining. Like maybe the password needed to be reset and he was the first one to walk by and speak when prompted for a new password, so the suit just automatically goes to him, and he doesn't know how to get it off so he's got to be Gizmoduck for a while.

Unpopular opinion: This is kind of a meta thing, but when it comes to Drake/Darkwing, I actually think I like Chris's voice a little more than Jim's? Like, Jim is the perfect Negaduck, but when I think of Darkwing, even in the original series, I have to remind myself that Chris didn't voice him back then, because my brain automatically thinks of his voice when I think of the character.

Favorite relationship: I wish we got to see more of it, but his dynamic with Gosalyn was amazing. I always loved their relationship in the old series, and this was a new take on it that was understandably different, but I'd argue just as precious. Still wish we'd gotten some kind of confirmation if Drake had legally adopted her by the end, or not.

Favorite headcanon: I think on some level, he does actually know Fenton is Gizmoduck, but he's in denial about it because he can't get over his jealousy towards Gizmoduck, but he just genuinely likes Fenton a lot and doesn't want to dislike him, even slightly.

#DuckTales 2017 #Drake Mallard #Darkwing Duck

[loneberry]

Withdrawal report. I’ve barely slept at all since going from 30mg to 7.5mg of mirtazapine last Thursday (a week ago). Overall the sleep-deprivation has been brutal, but other than that, the withdrawal symptoms have been minor… which is great since I read horror stories of people who tried to taper experiencing nonstop vomiting, panic attacks, ER visits, dizziness, nausea, vertigo, brain zaps, suicidality, agonizing headaches, etc. I would even say that my capacity for wonder has increased! I suppose the real test will be when I’m at 0 mg for a few weeks.

As you can see above, I’m determined to find a sleep stack to weather the transition off this drug. The antihistamines are temporary since I’m concerned about the possibility of anticholinergic drugs contributing to dementia/cognitive decline. I will also eventually get off any substances that can alter sleep architecture (including CBD), as well as melatonin. On the behavioral side, I’m trying to reset my circadian clock by going for 6:30am walks—it’s actually quite nice to experience the stillness of my neighborhood while the birds are just starting to stir. I’ve also been shutting my phone off in the evening, keeping my room cool at night, not turning any lights on after sunset (what’s up, candles), continuing to exercise in the morning, and making sure to take my socks off before bed.

Certainly the inability to sleep has caused my productivity to suffer, but maybe I don’t need to obsequiously serve the Calvinist god of academic productivity all the time! I’m trying not to stress too much about not sleeping by telling myself “well the Sufi mystics did this intentionally to access mystical states!”

These last few days have been spent finalizing the Alien Daughters manuscript (due before Monday). Wrote the dedication and acknowledgments today. 15 years of work will be coming to a close. Today I was remembering how all my red pen edits on a 900-page earlier draft of the manuscript was lost when a careless Widener librarian trashed everything in my library carrel, back when I was a grad student. The final version is about 1/3 the length of the first draft, but I think it will be a tighter book as a result. I miss the wild, guileless girl I used to be, but hopefully I can recuperate some of that old magic. After this…no more long book titles!!!

#insomnia #drugs #medication #mirtazapine #sleep-deprivation #alien daughters walk into the sun #writing

[remmammie]

Hi! Can I request romantic sora and riku (separately) helping thier partner with school stress? Summer work is killing me lol

I'm in exactly the same boat, my friend! I actually had quite a lot of inspiration to write this and got a lot more down than I could. Bless these two!

Sora and Riku (seperately) helping their Student!Partner

Sora

It’s been a long time since Sora’s had to dedicate himself to education. Don’t get him wrong, he’s a very hard worker and does appreciate the point of going to school, but I think saving the world and preserving the balance between light and darkness takes priority.

So, honestly, if his partner was still in full-time education, I think Sora would be equally as excited to learn himself as he would be to help them where he can!

I mean, as far as we know in canon, Sora has difficulties with numbers and reading so, if your work includes much of that, he might not be of much help. But he’s trying his very best! So he’s a brilliant morale-booster.

He will just sit beside you and talk your ear off the entire time you’re trying to concentrate. If someone talking makes work easier for you then this is perfect!...but if you need silence to concentrate you’ll have to tell Sora this before he actually tries to be quiet. He doesn’t take any offence because he’s used to Kairi needing silence to concentrate on her schoolwork when they were younger.

In that case, Sora will sit beside you and try to work out problems in his head or, if you have any spare equipment, he might take notes for you or do some doodles to show you while you’re working to help you get through it all. If there’s any faces on your work, I can guarantee Sora will be drawing moustaches, beards, big glasses, and silly bow ties on all of them.

Riku

Riku’s a pretty hard worker, just like Sora, and misses the atmosphere of education just the same. He knows it wasn’t the best time of his young life and he hated it back then, but he really sees the value in it now that he’s older.

His understanding of everything is just above that of Sora’s because he paid a bit more attention in his classes than Sora or Kairi. He isn’t as bothered about returning to school, though, because of how morally invested he now is in the battle between light and darkness.

So, if Riku ever spots you doing any schoolwork around him, he might wander over and look over your shoulder at whatever you’re doing. I think he’d be more likely to help if either he sees you really struggling or if it’s a subject he’s really interested in. 

Obviously, if you’re struggling, Riku wants to help to make sure you’re not too stressed. He knows he can’t help a whole lot in terms of raw knowledge, but Riku has some really great problem-solving skills. He’s definitely got more of a practical, more logical brain.

He’s also pretty great at creating diagrams because of this practical brain of his, so maybe call on him when it comes to maths or creating revision materials.

However, if it’s something Riku can’t help with, then he’ll help in the form of bringing you a drink or some food to help keep you hydrated and healthy and unstressed. He’ll encourage you to have a bit of a brain reset if you’ve been at it for a while, tell you to take a walk or a quick Gummiphone break - the works.

After everything, though, he’ll sit by your side and offer little pieces of advice now and then or even just little positive affirmations after you make some progress.

#kingdom hearts fanfiction #kingdom hearts sora #kh sora #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts headcanons #kingdom hearts fanfic #kingdom hearts x reader #kh riku #kingdom hearts riku

[cooganbegs-blog]

Wow! What are couple of weeks it’s been.

Week 1: AWS Roundtable in Sydney. I almost bailed at the last minute I was shitting myself! Sucked it up and it ended up being a really great evening. Introduced myself to the CPO of Cuscal, one of our key partners. Turns out she’s only 3 months into the job and super keen to meet up with me!!! ME!!! The rest of the week working in my amazing product coaches offices in Surry hills. I realise I do really like time with people! Remote working is amazing but time with people is actually really beneficial!!

Week 2: Three days of Agile Australia 2023 in Sydney. Wow I came away like a puppy with three tails and so much potential to improve what we do in our teams. Having heeded advice that I need to be careful with bringing people along with change I suggested to the engineering leads and CTO one change to our fortnightly retros. The CTO jumped at the problems and why it wouldn’t work! Head of DevOps was all for trying something new and gave unqualified support, remaining leads were skeptical and took a wait and see approach. I have a great working relationship with the CTO so gave him some feedback on his comments in our 1:1. I couched it in terms of wanting to create teams where we can try things and fail. If the team feel that they will always get a negative response (especially from the CTO) we won’t get new ideas!! He admitted he is not good with change and agreed that he does jump to the problems and said he would work on it!

Week 3: Back home and into the reality of day to day work. Trying to recruit, one step forward, three steps back, a newbie who is so enthusiastic and smart and eager to create value who I’m so scared of her leaving because I don’t provide the environment for her to thrive, the utter frustration of my PO who elected to work out his notice period (1 month) sitting there being paid doing SWEET FUCK ALL, back doing product work because there ain’t anyone else to do it so no time or brain space to be thinking by about the big picture strategy and roadmap! And then the email from the CEO which was the straw which almost broke the camels back. It was CC’d to the rest of the exec team and also my PO (who has been there 5 years and is difficult to get through to). Basically why was a particular feature being released and what else was being developed that he wasn’t aware of and where the fuck was the roadmap. I felt a wave of nausea when I read it and saw the recipient list. Took and mental deep breath and replied:

“I'll own this. I was not aware that this was being developed and released this sprint and I should be across what features are being prioritised and released. Also, the Infinity roadmap is currently scattered between Miro and Prodpad and I have not prioritised organising it, so the team does not have a plan.

Apologies, I will work with X and Y next week to get the roadmap in place and ongoing improvements prioritised for the team to develop.”

Got crickets for the rest of the day, except for the Operations Manager who is a close buddy who commented: “You owning that fuckup was the highlight of my fucked up day!”

Coincidently, I had an hour booked the next morning with the CEO on the roadmap. So after a big cry and a few wines on Thursday night I gritted my teeth for a complete balling out from him on Friday!

Some context, he is a blunt and straight talking bloke. I feel he is maybe on the spectrum a little, certainly an introvert but works around it well. He has history of losing his shit with people, walking out of meetings, his sarcasm can be withering. Yet I can say in all honestly he’s gruff but I always manage to raise and smirk or two from him and he’s never been rude or dismissive to me. Long story, an hour later I had some really great direction for the roadmap and a reset on where I should be prioritising my time and effort. I left the Zoom with: “Fuck I thought I was going to get a balling out from you because I dropped the ball but this has been really helpful so thanks!” That prompted a smirk and a comment that it’s his job to make sure I’m working on the most important things. But if a lesson learned! It’s not the end of the day if I drop a ball, the world keeps going and no one expects me to be perfect but once again I need to be communicating what’s happening and manage up a lot better. I need to change my fear of presenting something half finished, or just my thinking on something because it’s not perfect. Getting input early is good, waiting until it’s perfect means I’ll never communicate!!! ….sigh….it’s all a fucking long work in progress!!

[jinkicake]

Michael is hilarious if he thinks I would EVER choose him over any of my boys lmao like ngl might have to test drive👀 but just to know how much I don’t need him😇 however I am not above being a menace and I will lay All over him to get the brother jealous. He’s like younger brother by 5 seconds to Lucifer so my HC for him is that he’s very petty but will seem nice on the outside like imagine Lucifer energy but diavolo vibes. Like he seems like a strict Headass but he’s so anti Lucifer league energy on the inside 😂 like he can so clearly tell what’s going on. He def won’t stop me from getting too close to his face under the guise of “oh wow you have really pretty eyes!” Or “wow you have really nice hands” or my wandering hands trying to feel him up (god dresses those angels up like sluts it’s not MY FAULT😡). Doing that anime thing where it’s like oh I’m giving you a hug but his face is in my chest AGSHDHD. He enjoys watching the brothers trying to set him on fire with their minds and also it’s been a while since he’s had a human👀 ik when Lilith was down there other angels had to be too lmao Michael is like a worse version of Lucifer but he’s the boss now so he has to pretend to be a saint. Has some brat tamer in him with a voyeurism streak with a sprinkle of exhibitionist🥰 so he will ruin you in his cute little corner of heaven that the brothers know where he would be hiding. DEFINITELY wants Lucifer to hear you beg for his cock, definitely the “younger sibling didn’t get enough attention” energy. Probably has some freaky angel power where he knows what’s on your heart or something so he’s gunna secretly fulfill your every desire so your brain is absolutely broken by the end of it. Little less control than Lucifer and that’s saying a lot since you just have to give Lucifer the eyes and he’s hard asf already😭 so Michael is on the brink of having his cum gushing out of you by you screaming his name for more. Gets off on you begging for him to ruin you and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Accidentally forget humans have sensory systems for a REASON and will fuck up tour body for like 14 hours like Lucifer will make it hard to walk for a week Michael will have you shuddering like a ghost is touching your shoulder bc when you walk your body is reminded of being overstimulated for so long😭 mans wants to absolutely rewrite your body chemistry and honestly,,, I would let him🤭 bc when I go home w my demons and angels they’re going ti nurse me back to heath but be pissed the whole time; however they need you to be at full max health to absolutely destroy you permanently💀💀 maybe even diavolo will rip apart reality to make some kind of Bruno zipper universe where time isn’t real so ti feels like they’ve been fucking you for a full year but in the devil some it’s been 4 hours😂 and barbatos will also pull a giorno and reset your body until your begging to be free and unfortunately apologizing doesn’t help in the slightest 😔 they’re going to fuck you until you pass out and wake you up by fucking you again

Michael is a damn fool! He couldn't PAY me to pick his old ass over Luci or any of the other demons smhhh

also, isn't it canon that he acts 'childishly' like.... i could see how that is endearing i suppose! and if it were to make luci jealous then I would def toy w him!! #anythingforlucifer!! so you're so right LMAO fine i see the appeal, you got me!

i cant imagine how he would be in bed because like he's an angel-a high up one!!, i feel like he would be a PRUDE BUT then again when I think about my love simeon... HES NOT VANILLA so like what is the truth?! eek but the thought of doing shit up there in heaven teehee where all the other angels are... wait a min- maybe i was too harsh on michael!!!

it's just so hard to think straight with Luci possessing my every thought! sigh

i feel like biggest threat in the game literally is getting dicked down by the other characters... like we dont have to worry about getting taken out by another random demon but we DO have to worry about barbatos and his endurance!!!

... is- michael going to be in the new game?? is- is he?!

#sarahandoikawatalkshit #xiaos spicy almond tofu

[kaldurcalm]

My former boss is hiring. Here's a small part of the job description:

"At the current time, we only have part-time work available therefore you MUST have either another source of income, be a full-time student or are in a living arrangement where you do not need full-time pay. We ask that you make at least a 6-month commitment to us (this is not just a "summer job" or an "until I find a full time job" job). We work in all types of weather: heat, cold, rain IN ADDITION to all major holidays. There are no "sick" days unless there is an extreme situation that would not allow you to work. You must be able to pass a criminal background check. You also need reliable transportation."

Lady, you need work-life balance. This is unsustainable and I'm genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, even though I think that you tolerate some things that are absolutely horrid because you view them as job standards.

I kind of want to burn this bridge by telling her that if she wants reliable employees, she needs to create an environment where everyone has each other's back, and it starts with her. Right from the start, she is throwing potential employees under the bus. She's saying: this is reasonable to expect. It's your fault if you don't measure up. If you don't want to tolerate mistreatment, I don't want you.

She would probably bristle at the idea that she's mistreating her employees, but she's mistreating herself.

People like this don't take vacations. Someone always needs their dog watched or walked or fed or let out. Sometimes it's because they're going on vacation, which is part of the reason I'm leaving the industry: I don't want to take care of things while others enjoy themselves. I want to enjoy myself too.

It's part of the reason I'm stuck, but we're not talking about me right now.

This job listing is a recipe for burnout. She's mostly survived this long because she's very stubborn, and has pretty entrenched pathways in her brain that say: this is good, this is right, this is normal.

She gets up to let the dogs out at 6 am, most days. Sleeping in means 7 or 8 am. There's no 9-5 here; at best it's 6-6.

This doesn't leave you with a lot of personal time, so she admitted that she often stays up late. If you go to bed at 9 pm, that'll leave you just enough time to get 8 hours of sleep so you can be up for your 6 am appointments.

That's 3 hours of personal time. No weekdays off, for the most part, you have to let the dogs out because their owners are gone for the entire week. Dog walks are often scheduled around noon, so whatever you want to get done during the day has to be slotted in around the dogs.

There are other pets, really, so I should be saying that. But it's mostly dogs.

She's kept her rates up to date, so at least there's that, but other than that? There is nothing appealing about this job. Love of animals is not enough to make up for an inhospitable environment. You need to create allowances for sickness, holidays, vacations, off time, and personal time in general.

This means hiring more people so that they can cover when the other person isn't available, being understanding when that happens, reassuring your employees that there are enough people on board to handle the job if there are any slip ups, and a willingness to let the clients know that you can't sit for them this week because you need a vacation.

Seriously, it's entirely possible that she has not had one since 2001.

I know that, in this economy, vacations are frivolous. I don't feel comfortable flying on airplanes yet. I don't know if the attendants care about covid or think it's a hoax. I don't know if I can trust the people sitting right next to me. I don't think I should be travelling to another location, because that's how disease is spread far and wide.

That's not the point. The point is that a vacation helps you reset. It helps reset your mind. It helps keep thing fresh and new, which helps keep your life from stagnating. It's rejuvenating and I really think that it should be a job requirement--you know, for employers.

She's not an uncaring person. Most people don't start petsitting if they don't care about people, at least to some extent. Even if they don't want to work with them, they listen to what to they have to say about their pets because they love pets, and they know how the owner feels.

She doesn't realize just how little she cares about her employees. About her own wellbeing.

It's brainwashing. This culture brainwashes as many people as possible into thinking that an abusive environment is okay. Not just okay--something desirable. Something to foster. Something that's ridiculous to criticize.

She's asked me to come back to work for her before. I think she's having a hard time retaining employees. I do need the money, at the moment, but I'm not sure this job is worth it.

I was so stressed that I had nightmares, and I started getting triggered by receiving texts on my phone. It wasn't even a bad job, I thought then. It wasn't even that demanding. It wasn't even that hard.

Now? I think I'm glad I left.

#petsitting #personal #jobs #job industry #i hate this world #i hate this country #get me out please and thank you i will try to repay you for years

[whoslaurapalmer]

11, 23

11) what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

all the deep-sea fish i learned about for kit and dewey talking in folding mirror!! my favorite really is the cookiecutter fish, bc i think it's absolutely charming, and horrifying, that it bites in a circular shape. but i think barreleye fish, with the massive, tube-shaped, reflective eyes, are the most neat. i am still 100% terrified of the ocean, but i think weird fish are just delightful now. and i wound up researching all those fish bc i came up with the phrase 'oceanic intrigue' and i thought it sounded fun, but i knew NOTHING about deep-sea fish, which seemed like what oceanic intrigue would mean, so i had to learn about some fish. took a couple hours over a morning and lunch googling fish.

so if there's like, something i'd like to know more about, bc i think it will make a scene go smoother, bc i DON'T know a great deal about it, then yeah, i'll do a little bit of research. because there's a lot of stuff i don't know! and little details do matter, a lot of the time!! i googled stuff about cigars for writing columbo, i'll look up distances between one place and another to see how long it would take a character to get there, interiors of buildings i haven't been in, layouts of different places, i'll seek out real life places i can get to to get an idea of what certain kinds of buildings could look like. a little about yaks for babybea fic, some airplanes for parent trap au to try and replace the concorde, bc they don't exist anymore, although i wound up just leaving it in, food recipes, new musicians so i don't always use the same ones, details about the varied thrush for the peaks birdwatching fic. sometimes you research for a starting point, sometimes you research to add details you didn't know.

but i did google mouse behavior for a small wip, and then, decided to disregard some of it, in order to make the fic Just A Cute Time. sometimes, that happens too.

oh, most notably, i did google something like 'large plant person could hide in' to come up with jacques hiding in a boxwood. yes, a boxwood could get that big. well, especially if you like, scrunched down in it, too.

i'll do character research too, for fic. if it's the first time i'm writing a character, i'll go through canon for details about them and see what i can do with those details, what i can headcanon off of that, what canon already has in terms of worldbuilding and what i can do with it.

23) how do you deal with writers block?

i think a lot of times it's just a matter of needing to take a step back and reset your brain for a while. go do something else. take a walk, make a sandwich (or the meal of your choice), bake something, play a video game, do a puzzle, do a hand craft. write something else in an entirely different format. like, don't go starting AN ENTIRELY NEW STORY, but like, try writing a poem, or something you don't usually do. in high school i used to write random haikus, about stuff in my room, just to write something short. make lists, Of Things, unless lists are stressful. maybe go back over your notes, if you have notes for what you're writing, see if you need to make More notes. read something else, read something new!!

often, what makes me the most excited about writing and creating and makes me want to do something is reading something really well done, like a book i really liked or a fanfic that i thought was perfect or a fascinating character take. good writing makes me so thrilled to go out and make my own words. (but also, bad writing makes me INCENSED to go out and write something better.)

sometimes, it helps to talk things out with somebody else!! even if the person doesn't know anything about the story. sometimes just saying the words Out Loud help focus them in your brain. i wind up going 'okay mom bear with me for a hot minute. i'm going to describe this plot bc i am having a hard time.' and five seconds in i say 'OH SHIT' because i've figured something out, just from saying it out loud and trying to explain it. even just talking out loud by yourself can help!!

but, other sometimes, you gotta just start putting words down. even if you don't know what possible word you could start with, or where you could go, and you feel like you'll never figure it out, you just gotta put something down. because, then you have at least one word or one sentence that didn't exist before. that you created!! it might not be perfect!! but something new exists now, instead of nothing!! sometimes you really do just have to drag the words out, one by one.

#thank you mayo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!