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nooneactuallyasked · 3 years

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Diner Gal - Reggie x Reader Part 11

Requested: It’s a series, enough said-

Word count: 1,845

Warnings: No that I know of, but please let me know if there is anything!!

Summary: Julie and the Phantoms ( + Flynn ) go to a musical diner/café/restaurant for inspiration and hopefully a future gig but they end up meeting a very special waitress.

Note: So, I didn’t intend to have a 3-month break but here we are-

I am so sorry but at the same time I needed to put my mental health, schoolwork and future first, so I’m also not sorry? Anyway, I’m back with a new part so my exams can actually try me- Enjoy! (Can’t remember if I’ve used this gif but who cares)

Part 1 here Part 2 here Part 3 here Part 4 here Part 5 here

Part 6 here Part 6.5 here Part 7 here Part 8 here Part 9 here

Part 10 here

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Y/N sat on a stool at the counter in Le Paradis du Chanteur, a broom leant against the edge. She played with a pen whilst staring down at blank pages of her notebook, her whole body felt heavy and she couldn’t will herself to do anything, the truth had hit her full force like a bright red truck with flashing neon signs that read ‘Caution! Heartbreak!’. She knew she didn’t love him; it was too soon for that but it didn’t stop the aching feeling of knowing all of her options were really only one option: let him go. No matter how selfish Y/N wanted to be she knew that it wasn’t fair to any of them, she wasn’t heartless or ignorant, she knew what accepting Caleb’s offer would do and she refused to take the easy way out.

She would much rather a future alone and without Reggie in it, knowing that he’s safe and happy than condemn him to a life he never wanted, well afterlife but the sentiment stayed the same. Plus, it wasn’t just Reggie, there was Luke and Alex too and they would have to suffer through the consequences of her choice just as much as Reggie would. It wasn’t fair. Y/N sighed and put the pen down on the paper, her chair scraping against the floor as she got up and walked over to the office, staring at the drawer that withheld her chance, her hope. With a slight sigh, she found the courage to open the it and hold the contract in her hands.

Reggie would rip it for you if he were in the same situation.

So, she did, she closed her eyes and did it.

She ripped it.

A blinding light filled the room, a warm sensation wrapped itself around her fingers, growing until it was so unbearably hot that she dropped the ripped pieces of paper, almost instantly the light faded and the heat from before waned into a fuzzy tingling in the tips of her fingers. Y/N hesitantly opened her eyes and saw the contract on the floor, singed along the rip lines. A dark purple mark was burned into the paper, the lines disintegrated and spread across the paper until there was nothing left but thin streaks of ash on the floor. She did it. She really did it, she let him go. All that was left was to wait until the end of the Friday event and then live out the rest of her life as if she’d never heard of Julie and the Phantoms.

Easier said than done but Y/N was determined. If she could take on an evil ghost magician, she could handle pretty much anything.

---

“And that’s kinda what happened, I guess…”

“Y/N, you’re like one of those really cool superheroes whose origin story is like, the saddest but coolest thing of all time: A waitress who was looking for more in her life than just scrubbing tables comes to find she can communicate with ghosts, specifically three incredibly handsome, cool and charming musicians who teach her there’s more to life than work. Then, the bad guy comes in and messes everything up, though we do have to mention he has amazing food at his ghost joint, but because the waitress is so cool, she saves herself and the three ghosts. But the hero always has to have someone die or sacrifice something, like Cal, sad really. The end!”

Y/N slumped, a terrible sludge-like feeling eating her up inside. She had totally forgotten about Cal, assuming the boys hadn’t found Cal a way out, she had pretty much just sacrificed any chance at freedom he would ever get. Sighing, Y/N looked up to meet Reggie’s questioning gaze who quickly turned pale with realisation, “Oh- sorry, I guess that would still be a sore subject, and you know what, I’ll just stop talking now…” She forced out a chuckle which quickly faded into a sad smile, her gaze turning toward the floor “It’s okay, Reggie. I know you didn’t mean it like that, I just wish there was more I could do…I feel useless, like I can’t save him, I can’t even get credible information sources to even start to help him. I just, I wish I could do more.” Y/N let out a breath, looking back up at Reggie, “Sorry, that was a lot, huh?”

Reggie bit the inside of his cheek, his brows furrowing, “I just had an idea, I’m not sure if it would work but it’s the best I’ve got.” Y/N’s eyes widened, “Well anything is better than nothing, I’m all ears.”

“Right, so when we performed at the Orpheum we were marked by Caleb, we would either have to join him or disappear for probably forever. After the show we went back to Julie’s garage and she hugged Luke, they started it glowing, it was really weird but awesome too, and so we joined in and we glew, glowed? Glowed, glew? Whatever, we did it too and the marks just disappeared. What if she could do that for Cal? Sorry it’s the best I have, I’m not all that great at-” Y/N wrapped her arms around him in the tightest hug she could muster, “You’re a genius, thank you so much!” Reggie chuckled awkwardly, “It might not even work, and even if it did, I wouldn’t have done anything much to help, it’d be all Julie.” She shook her head, a slightly watery smile on her face, “Leather Boy, you’re the humblest person I know, and that’s probably not a good thing. You’ve helped me so much; you’ve done so much more than I ever could, I don’t think I would even have had the courage to rip the contract if it weren’t for you. Thank you so much, Reggie. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Thanks, Diner Gal, that means a lot.” She grinned, desperately trying to get rid of the depressing atmosphere, “Everything I say means a lot, Leather Boy, it’s what happens when you reach your peak as the edgy, ‘not like other girls’ girl in middle school; everything you say becomes wisdom.” He slowly nodded, a small, confused smile plastered on his face, “I’ll pretend I know what that mean s and go ask Julie later after I’ve convinced her to help Cal, see you, Diner Gal.”

“Right back at you, Leather Boy.”

---

Y/N tied some balloons together before attaching them to a weight and strategically placing them around, okay she was just putting them down randomly but whatever, who needs strategy when you have a night full of music and, hopefully, possession free Cal’s in the near future.

“Wow, this is really starting to take shape. Love the balloons, I do hope they don’t pop whilst we’re performing though.”

She spun around to face the group behind her, “Hey, Firecracker, good to see you. And of course, I can’t forget, Leather Boy, Lover Boy, Boomer and my favourite marketing team, how are you all?”

“Great, it’s nice to see you again since Reggie’s been keeping you all to himself.”

“I have not! You and Luke are just busy pretending to write lyrics when you’re actually staring into each other’s eyes and Alex is with Willie pretending he’s gonna learn to skate when he’s actually just gushing over Willie.”

“Uh…” The mentioned parties turned as bashful as the Disney dwarf whilst Y/N and Flynn doubled over in laughter at their expressions.

“Man, Jules, what did he say back to mad you that flustered?”

“Don’t talk to me or I’ll egg your house.”

“Hey, I didn’t even go through with it, I don’t get why you’re still mad about it.” Both girls glared at each other for a second before bursting out in a second bout of laughter. Y/N turned to Reggie with an amused expression, “This is your fault, you know that, right?” A sheepish smile crosses his lips, “I realise that now, yeah.”

“Good, I was just checking.”

“Anyway, Y/N, Reggie was telling us about some ghost magician troubles you may or may not have, how can I help?” Y/N nearly cried in relief, there was a chance she was getting her self-appointed uncle back, “Uh, if you know how to get rid of Caleb’s mark that would help, from what I’ve been told that’s how he gets control or least has influence; since he can be outside of Cal’s body it’s probably less possession and more influence or control, if you get what I mean.” Julie nodded along, a thoughtful look on her face, “Yeah, I tried reading up on what happened more but most of it was just people trying to make a buck of off other people’s desperation…Actually, hey, Alex? Do you think you could get Willie this short notice?” He shrugged, “Maybe, I’ll see if I can get him, see you guys in a minute.”

Immediately after Alex poofed out Luke started grumbling, “Not even a question as to why, just so desperate to see his boyfriend…” Y/N rolled her eyes, “I bet you’re the same with your dearest Julie though, aren’t you, Lover Boy?”

“Tell that to Reggie.”

“Okay, setting up time, positions everyone!” Flynn flitted around, ushering the air into different positions before pushing Y/N and Julie to different ‘awesomeness-in-progress stations’

---

After about 15 minutes of blowing up balloons, hanging up bunting and banners and moving tables away from the enlarged performance area, Alex finally returned with Willie. “Took you long enough, jeez.”

“Okay, Romeo, I’ll remember that for next time, but let’s focus on saving Cal and tonight’s performance, yeah?” Willie quickly stepped in, “Hey, I’m Willie, Alex told me about you guys. Julie and Y/N, right?” His gaze turned to Flynn who was sorting through a pile of ribbons on the floor, “Can the other lifer see me? Or is that a no-go?” Julie smiled, “Nice to officially meet you, and no, she can’t see you, but she does know you’re here since I dragged her into this mess, so if she randomly starts talking to air or addressing you please try to ignore my loveable and not at all exasperating best friend.” Flynn looked up form the pile and flashed a smile at Julie, “That’s me! I’m also the only one setting up right now? Come on, guys, there’s still an event on tonight.”

“Right, I still have to set up light, sound, make copies of the setlist and make sure all of our performer’s resting spaces are prepared. Not to mention getting the staff ready. Would it be okay if I did those while you discuss? I’ll be here for the main event; I just have a lot to do.” Julie laid a hand on Y/N’s shoulder, “Relax, we got this. You sort out the diner, I’ll fill you in later.” She received a tired smile in return, “Thanks, Firecracker. It was nice meeting you, Willie. I’ll see you guys in just a bit.”

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Taglist:

@dotishyperfixating @daddydraco0 @morganayenneferburnham

@dxestars @dcnerd98 @ultraworthlessbitch

@revolutionary-werewolf-ghosts @underc0vercryptid

@underc0vercryptid-reads @miisacore

@cas-loves-pizza @slytherhoes

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mrmallard · 3 years

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Top 5 Favorite Songs of The Year

This is part 1 of a 2 part list. This list will cover 5 songs from any time period that made my year. The next list will cover songs from 2020.

I excluded songs from my Top 10 Lyrics post specifically so I could speak about them in this list. This was a good year to get into music, and I found a crop of songs that made me really frigging happy.

5: Power of Two - Indigo Girls

I found three really good country-sounding songs about relationships this year. There was She Don't Like Roses by Christina Kane, which is a name that's as on-the-nose as Can I Borrow A Feeling - the way that the listener's time is described with this woman is really nice. The second one is Heart's Content by Brandi Carlile, which is a rundown of a relationship's anxieties punctuated by a celebration of that relationship enduring those anxieties. The third one is my #5 pick - Power of Two.

I didn't pick She Don't Like Roses because I heard Christina Kane pandering to a pro-Bush crowd in a live version of the song. It's still a great song, but hearing the conservative platitudes coming out of her mouth really bothered me and it affects how I hear the song. Heart's Content, on the other hand, was a strong runner-up - I'm assured that Brandi Carlile isn't a Trumper, for one, and Heart's Content is one of the songs on her pre-Grammy albums that really plays to my sensibilities. It missed out because another one of her songs affected me more, which left this spot open for the Indigo Girls.

Power of Two wins out because of the calm, casual affirmation that things are okay, and that they're going to continue to be okay, even through the hardships. It's about a relationship, going through things that happen from day to day, and each chorus is an affirmation that they're fine, that they love each other and are looking out for each other.

It's just a nice sentiment to listen to from time to time, and I don't know why more people don't go all in on the earnest, happy relationship train from time to time. One of my favorite albums of the 2010's is a concept album about the singer's messy divorce, I understand the appeal of drama and emotional pain in music - but for the scores of breakup songs and tales of emotional devastation, there needs to be something to balance it all out. Power of Two, to me, is a song that acts as a balance to those songs.

Most of All is a song that made me cry this year, because it made me think of my parents dying. More specifically, it reminded me that no-one lives forever, and there will come a day where my mum and dad both die and I'll have this empty feeling for the rest of my life like "man, I haven't seen my dad in a while. Something I did just reminded me of him, and now I miss him because I'll never see him again."

4: Most of All - Brandi Carlile

This is notable because I find it hard to cry. But one night, after drinking copious amounts of alcohol, I listened to this song and I just fuckin started bawling. It's fucked up, confronting your parent's mortality. I don't usually cry the way this song made me cry, but I did. And I thought it was worth mentioning.

Regardless of all that, this song makes me miss my dad in a general sense. And it makes a strong point to be more affectionate, because the love you give away is returned to you in kind. The love you don't get back is replenished eventually, so you're not really losing anything by putting your feelings out there.

It's a very bittersweet song. I really like it.

Orpheus wins out over another Sara Bareilles song, 1000 Times, by virtue of me talking about it in my Top 10 Lyrics post. It still bears mentioning - 1000 Times is a great song about yearning for someone you know you'll never be able to be with. It's a great yearning ballad.

3: Orpheus by Sara Bareilles

Orpheus, on the other hand, feels like it's about a relationship being reciprocated. It's low and cosy, like a heavy blanket on a cold night - the instruments all feel very intimate, the chorus is croony and the verses are just very grand and sweeping at times. It feels like an idealized relationship - being comfortable in someone's company and recharging their batteries because you love them, making big, sweeping declarations of devotion, stuff like that.

Again, like #5, it's just a nice relationship song. It's an absolute highlight off of Amidst the Chaos, along with songs like If I Can't Have You (not a cover of the disco song) and Miss Simone. Very wholesome.

2: Forget about Georgia - Lukas Nelson

This song came out of nowhere and caved my face in with a cinderblock. I'm a fuckin boomer when it comes to slang, but would it be appropriate to say it snatched my wig? Because I felt completely exposed after the first time I heard this song.

It's another relationship song - I've got love on the mind, give me a break. Definitely more of a breakup song, as the titular Georgia is the lead singer's ex, and he's in a situation where he can't escape her name for long enough to get over the break up. Namely, because he's Willie Nelson's son, and every night he performs with his dad, they play the song Georgia On My Mind.

Yes, this song is based on true events - which is fantastic on its own merits.

I can relate to the moment you realise you like someone, and you know just how much it's going to make you hurt. And the picture he paints in the entire second verse just hurts to think about. Honestly, it's disgusting how emotionally resonant this song is to me.

This song is the emotional equivalent to getting punched in the face and pushed down a hill, at least for me. Good song.

This song sums up the Weepies experience to me. Tight lyricism, effective instrumentation, and an earnest atmosphere. It's also under 3 minutes, which is kinda ridiculous for a song that makes me feel this much.

1: Somebody Loved - The Weepies

It's a simple concept - rain turns the sand into mud, wind turns the trees into bone. As much of a fact as those statements are, you turn me into somebody loved.

Again - it's just nice to hear something so sweet in a song, and it's so earnest as well. Especially when the song bridges into the fourth verse with an assertion that "one day, when we're old and worn," they'll reflect on the life they've lived with the person they love

I could sit here and recommend any number of songs by the Weepies. The first song of theirs I liked was Gotta Have You, which is such a weird, refreshing surprise in how it sounds for a song of its type. I could recommend They're In Love, Where Am I - another short, extremely effective song in the vein of this one about heartbreak. I can recommend Slow Pony Home, which is a very stripped back account of a girl meeting someone in real life who she met online, and reflecting on her relationship with herself and continuing relationship with them two years later. There are so many gorgeous, earnest songs from this band consisting of a married couple, and I'd love to just throw them all at you all at once.

Somebody Loved is a Weepies song boiled down to its bare essentials. And it's very sweet. I think it sums up the year I've spent with this band, and considering how big of a part this band played in my year, I think it deserves my #1 spot.

#Brandi carlile #indigo girls #lukas nelson #sara Bareilles #the weepies #top 10 #this will actually be the last post I make about the weepies this year #i promise

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hyenabutter · 5 years

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I was born in 1981; my parents, 20 and 25 years older than me, are about as young as you can be and still be called Boomers (and my mom technically might even be considered a really old Gen Xer but her ideology runs much closer to the previous generation). As a result, their musical tastes mostly skip the 60s, a decade in which they were basically children. I didn't grow up hearing The Beatles or Simon And Garfunkel or The Rolling Stones: my dad mostly liked singer-songwriters like Willis Alan Ramsey and John Prine and the early Jimmy Buffett (funnily enough for someone who likes this kind of music he hates Bob Dylan and Neil Young). About the only 60s-era music he cares for is The Band and Gram Parsons. My mom isn't much of a music person, in terms of actively seeking it out or wanting to buy albums: she was basically content with whatever was on the softer side of what the radio coughed up: Bread and America and Seals and Crofts and stuff like that.

They got divorced in 1990 or so, which, based on the very little research I've done on the subject, seems to have been a time when a lot of marriages in the US were failing. You can most likely credit this to the whole end-of-the-60s idealism thing, which is probably a definite factor, but there was also the fact that women were becoming less inclined to put up with bullshit, as well as the simple fact that divorce was becoming less and less taboo. Regardless of the reasons, this trend didn't exclude the musicians who were approximately the same age as my parents. It seems like I spent my entire early childhood riding in the car with my mother listening to songs like Fleetwood Mac's "Little Lies" and "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins and Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It"; fairly bitter songs about disappointment and regret. Riding through the night and listening to something like "The Last Worthless Evening" by Don Henley, I was always struck by how serious these songs sounded, tapping into adult emotions I didn't fully understand. It was a weird time for us all I guess.

"Her Town Too", though released a bit earlier than those other songs, is a perfect example of this kind of thing, a song by a couple of my dad's big signposts, James Taylor and JD Souther--backed by a murderer's row of big time soft-rock session men--singing a song about divvying up your friends and possessions in the wake of a breakup, baffled to have arrived in the earliest moments of middle age and having the things you've built and believed in begin to crumble. It's completely understandable how this sort of thing would appeal to a generation reaching the same point, and also explains why the subsequent generation, raised by these broken people, is so suspicious of the institution of matrimony. They've seen the results of its failings close up, and heard it leaking through the speakers.

#james taylor #jd souther #music #don henley #tina turner #phil collins #her town too #divorce #divorce rock #fleetwood mac

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upontheshelfreviews · 5 years

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If there’s a reason why we’re able to recall the story of Snow White from memory, and why said princess is usually depicted with short hair, a cute bow and surrounded by woodland fauna, look no further than Disney. Their take on the Grimms’ fairy tale is the prime example of pop cultural osmosis. Even if you’ve never watched Disney’s Snow White, it’s easy to recognize when a piece of work is borrowing from it or spoofing it. And I can definitely see why – not only is it going eighty-plus years strong, but its influence on nearly every Disney feature to come after it is a profound one.

The real story of Disney’s Snow White begins in the early 1910’s when a young Walt Disney saw a silent film version of the Grimms’ fairytale starring Marguerite Clark. The movie stuck with him well into adulthood. One night, well after he had established himself as an animation giant the world over, Walt gathered his entire staff of animators and storymen and re-enacted the tale for them in a mesmerizing one-man show. They were enraptured, but what he told them next struck them dumb – they were going to take what he performed and turn it into a full-length film.

In Tony Goldmark’s epic(ally hilarious) retrospective of Epcot, he performs a quick sketch he summed up as “Walt Disney’s entire career in 55 seconds” where Walt presents his career-defining ideas to a myopic businessman capable of only saying “You fool, that’ll never work!”. Considering how animation is everywhere today, it’s easy to forget that an animated film was once seen as an impossible dream. The press hawked Snow White as “Disney’s Folly”, and Hollywood speculated that it would bankrupt the Mouse House. It very nearly did. Miraculously, a private showing of the half-finished feature to a banking firm impressed the investors enough to ensure its completion.

Snow White is touted as the very first animated movie – admittedly something of a lie on Disney’s behalf. Europe and Russia were experimenting with feature-length animation decades before Walt gave it a try. But consider this: most animated films predating Snow White’s conception are either sadly lost to us or barely count as such by just crossing the hour mark. With all the hard work poured into it showing in every scene, with each moment displaying a new breakthrough in the medium, Snow White might as well be the first completely animated movie after all. Hell, it’s the very first movie in the entire history of cinema that was created using STORYBOARDS. A tool used by virtually every single movie put out today. If that’s not groundbreaking enough, I don’t know what is.

But is Snow White really…but why does it…can it…

“You know what? No. I’m not doing this teasing question thing before the review starts proper. OF COURSE Snow White is a masterpiece. OF COURSE most of it holds up. Let’s skip the middleman so I can explain why.”

After the opening credits we get the first of what will be many Disney leather bound books opening themselves to invite us into the world of the story. We’re informed that once upon a time there was a particularly Wicked Queen (nicknamed Grimhilde in promo features and the comics) who had a serious narcissistic personality disorder. Every day she consults her Magic Mirror™ to see who’s the fairest one of all and takes pride in being repeatedly told she holds said title. In the meantime she bullies her younger, prettier stepdaughter, the princess Snow White, and gives her the standard Cinderella treatment in the hopes that endless drudgery will wipe out the competition.

One fateful morning, however, the Mirror informs the Queen that she’s been bumped down to runner-up. She susses out that it’s Snow White who’s taken her place after the Mirror describes the newcomer as having “lips red as the rose, hair black as ebony, [and] skin white as snow”, but maybe the Queen is projecting here due to her extreme jealousy. Going by those three traits the Mirror could be describing almost anyone on the planet.

Care to narrow it down a bit, buddy?

Now if you consider yourself a feminist or at the very least have progressive views regarding women, I know what you’re thinking – just another example of the patriarchy pitting shallow female stereotypes against each other, right? Well in a manner of speaking, yes. There’s plenty of evidence that the Brothers Grimm held some odious misogynistic beliefs that stemmed from a bad combination of the era they lived in, outdated religious teachings, and their own experiences with the opposite sex. It shows in their second fairy tale revisions – the heroines are naïve bimbos in need of a man’s rescue, and the villains are evil stepmothers and witches who happen to be hideous 99% of the time – and those views have been reinforced in our society thanks to those particular iterations being passed down to today.

Here’s my way of viewing the central conflict: The Mirror’s news is a wake-up call that Snow White is coming into her own as a woman and princess. That means marriage to a prince and the end of the Wicked Queen’s rule. Snow White will have all the power and adulation while the Queen is forced to step down and become another footnote in ancient royal history. Up until now the Queen has gone out of her way put down her pretty young opponent with petty cruelty because there’s nothing stopping her; but when faced with the inevitable, she unflinchingly opts to take more drastic measures so she can keep the throne.

If it weren’t for the fact the Queen’s unofficial moniker is Grimhilde and her transformation scene reveals a head of black hair, I’d suspect her real name was Cersei Lannister.

You also have to remember that the Queen takes the term “fairest” at face value. The Queen is beautiful, sure, but it’s a glacial beauty – cold, unfeeling, and nothing beneath the surface. All she cares about is looks and power. You’d have to be a pure loving soul or Woody Allen find something worthwhile in her. Snow White is beautiful too, though it’s her kindness and fair treatment of everyone that garners her the title of “fairest one of all”, not her appearance.

Speaking of, we follow that scene with Snow White (Adriana Casselotti) dressed in rags cleaning the castle courtyard. She shows her bird friends her wishing well and sings “I’m Wishing”, where she reveals her wish for her one true love to show up.

Confession time: In childhood the title of my favorite Disney princess was neck and neck between Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Snow White. I’ve already discussed at length why I adore Belle, so I suppose I should do the same for Snow.

…turns out it’s more difficult than I thought.

For as long as I could remember, I was surrounded by Snow White paraphernalia – tapes, toys, dolls, music, games, artwork, bed sheets, I can even recall the ice show. Snow White is ingrained into my early years. It more than likely has to do with the timing of its brief return to theaters and first VHS release between 1993 and 1994, right at the peak of the Disney Renaissance, so I experienced Snow White-mania right alongside Lion King-mania, Beauty and the Beast-mania and various other Disneymanias that were rampant at that time.

Even this one, embarrassingly.

As a result, I idolized Snow White as much the other princesses of the time, right down to making her the character I dressed up as the most for Halloween. I suppose what drew me to her was inherent kindness, ability to make friends with everyone, and her voice. Yes, I admit it. I don’t find Snow White’s warbling to be as irritating as everyone says it is. Maybe I’ve listened to it so much that I’ve grown immune. Then again I am that one Disney fan who doesn’t loathe It’s A Small World with every fiber of their being so maybe I should question my own tastes more.

Now as an adult with a critical eye who can put nostalgia behind me when necessary, is there something more to the character of Snow White that’s worth appreciating as much as the more-fleshed out princesses of the Renaissance and current Revival period?

I accept that I’m in the minority on this one, but I firmly say yes.

I know what you’re thinking – all Snow White does is smile and sing while she slaves under the Queen and the dwarfs and dreams of a handsome man to come carry her away, so I should turn in my feminist card for daring to suggest she’s a good character and role model for girls, right? Consider this: like Cinderella after her, Snow White’s happy nature and songs are her ways of coping with her unpleasant situation. It keeps her spirits up and in turn she tries to spread that positivity to others who need it as well. She refuses to let the Queen’s negativity turn her as sour as she is. All the little things Snow White reveals in what she does – her patience, pride in her work, healthy emotional balance, drive to help others, and warmth towards those smaller than her (in both a figurative and literal sense) – are all signs that she is capable of being a far better and beloved ruler and all around person than the Queen is. Plus, her reason for wanting to find love is two-fold: not only is she looking for someone with whom she can share a unique emotional understanding bond – which is something most every human craves – but it’s the also best possible means for her to escape from her stepmother’s abuse. Like I said earlier, once Snow White gets the ring, she gets to rule.

And what’s wrong with having a princess who can run a practical household? One could argue that it’s an example of traditional female roles desired by an oppressive patriarchal society on full display, but you want to know why millennials are called out for being lazy? Because baby boomers have cut out classes that teach things young adults actually need outside of school like how to properly cook and do laundry and pay your taxes since those weren’t seen as “essential enough to education”. So I have to admire a princess who, while not the most “progressive” of the bunch by today’s standards, is willing and able take care of herself and others when it comes to basic everyday needs. I think TheBrutallyHonestMom summed it up best in her post defending Snow White:

When we denigrate what Snow White accomplishes at the dwarfs’ cottage, when we rename her accomplishments to make them sound more impressive, more official, more valuable—management, administration, domestic CEO, sous chef, hospitality specialist—what we are really doing is saying that we don’t value the truly valuable work that she and so many other stay-at-home individuals do. Those words are a microaggression against what have traditionally been feminine roles, an attempt to align them with a patriarchal worldview where only those with the biggest titles and fattest paychecks matter. Snow White is domestic. She is a maid. She is a mother figure. She does take on the womanliest of the womanly roles. To claim that adopting these roles (and being good at them) somehow makes her a poor role model for my daughters is not a failure of Snow White’s imagination. It is a failure of ours.

Then there’s the matter of her actress too, which I can’t stay silent about. A few years ago it was revealed that in order to preserve the illusion of Snow White as a real character (a good many years before the company applied that same logic to their character performers at the theme parks I might add), Disney forced Adriana Casselotti to forego her screen credit and never take on another acting role again, essentially robbing her of a career. She only managed to appear in It’s A Wonderful Life and The Wizard of Oz because hers were uncredited minute parts. Casselotti had no regrets about choosing Snow White over a promising show business vocation, but I still call bull on the matter. If this kind of thing happened today, people would not stand for it, character illusions or not. There’s also crazy double standards since all the actors who played the dwarfs got to keep on acting; Sneezy’s voice actor was in Fun and Fancy Free for crying out loud! I love ya Walt, but that is one dick move. So if you’re a detractor cheering that you never have to hear Casselotti’s voice beyond this movie, keep in mind that’s all because of one man silencing her for the sake of his business.

So, Snow White. She cooks, cleans, delegates, teaches, loves, domestically kicks ass, and her behind the scenes story makes a strong case for the Time’s Up movement. Any questions?

“Yes. You’re over 2000 words in and we haven’t even gotten to the dwarfs yet. Plan on getting off that soapbox sometime this decade?”

Snow’s singing attracts the attention of a handsome Prince (Harry Stockwell) passing by on his horse. But his forwardness startles the shy girl and sends her sprinting up to her room. He charms her out to her balcony by singing his one song in the feature…”One Song”. You gotta love it when the title matches the tune perfectly.

“Wherefore art thou Prince? Deny thy father and refuse thy name!”

“Sure I’ll gladly refuse my name – if I had one, that is.”

All joking aside, I have a soft spot for this scene. Stockwell’s voice has this old-time Broadway/operetta quality I’ve always liked, the lyrics are unironic purple prose that still feel genuine, Snow’s little excited gestures are adorable, and it’s framed beautifully. This is what got it into my heard early on that the most romantic gesture anyone can make is serenading someone from beneath their balcony.

“Too bad you’re technically in a long distance relationship.”

“I know. Propping up a phone beneath your window just doesn’t have the same effect.”

Snow returns his affections with a kiss delivered via a dove and departs the scene with one hell of a pair of bedroom eyes, especially for a Disney character.

Daaaaaamn, girl! You already got him hooked, no need to gild the lily!

Unbeknownst to either of them, the Queen is watching overhead; Snow catching the eye of Prince Charming is what finally pushes her to take further action. She summons her Huntsman –

– to bring Snow White out into the forest and do away with her. Brief as this scene may be, there are two things I really like about it. First, the gravity. The Huntsman reacts with horror on being told what he must do, foreshadowing his eventual turnaround, yet with an icy hiss of “Silence!” and a short reminder of the price of failure, the Queen goads him back into line. We don’t know what the penalty for insubordination is, but it’s implied to be pretty nasty if she’s able to convince him otherwise with just a few words. Second, the Queen’s other demand. In the original fairytale, the Queen requested Snow White’s liver, lungs and heart so she could eat them and inherit her stepdaughter’s comely attributes.

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But here in the film, she only wants the heart, and not for lunch. The Queen wants to keep it as a trophy. She even has a disturbingly appropriate box for it at the ready.

Proof that she really puts the ‘grim’ in ‘Grimhilde’.

Snow White, now dressed in her iconic yellow and blue dress, goes out flower picking with the Huntsman waiting not far behind. She spies a lost baby bird, and the moment she turns her back to help it, the Huntsman moves in for the kill. It’s framed like the murderer creeping up to their next victim in a scary movie, slowly building up to the moment he confronts her, with tension you could cut with a – well, you know.

Ultimately the Huntsman is moved by the princess’ humanity and can’t go through with the deed. Instead he reveals the Queen’s plot and pleads her to run, run away, Snow, and never return. Terrified, Snow White flees into the forest where her fears magnify her surroundings. Brambles become gnarled outstretched hands, logs are hungry snapping crocodiles, and there are eyes everywhere, always watching, boring into her every place she turns.

I should note that while developing Snow White, the Disney studio became something of an art college with fine arts and film study classes offered to the staff in order to hone their craft. Some of the movies they studied were horror flicks from the pre-Hays Code era, classics directed by the likes of James Whale and F.W. Murnau. The results speak for themselves. Scenes like this and the Queen’s transformation are why I consider Snow White my very first horror movie. The frightening imagery and darker themes all hide beneath a veneer of Disney childhood innocence. Like a proto-Pan’s Labyrinth, the terror as much psychological as it is fantastical.

A young Sam Raimi watched this and vowed one day he’d make those trees even more terrifying and bad-touchy.

This scene is also the source of one of the most famous stories to come out of the film’s creation. During the planning of the part where Snow falls backwards through an open-mouthed cavern into a lake, one of the animators cried out in terror “Won’t that kill her??” And the whole room fell silent. They reached the point where they no longer thought of Snow White as a cartoon but as an actual person, something that had never happened before. That was the moment where they were officially, as Ben Vereen once put it, on the right track.

Overwhelmed, Snow White collapses in tears. She’s brought back to her senses by the usual cuddly forest inhabitants inexplicably drawn to female royalty in need of assistance. Of course, being the ever-thoughtful soul that she is, Snow apologizes for startling them and making a fuss over how afraid she was, once more putting others before herself. She bonds with the animals through the uplifting “With a Smile and a Song”. Then she spends several minutes talking to them and making plans for the future all in rhyme. I confess it’s one of the weaker moments of the movie, showing that the studio’s transition from the Silly Symphonies to full-fledged filmmaking hasn’t completely been made yet.

The critters lead Snow to a quaint cottage in need of a good cleaning service. Assuming the miniature-sized furniture means the inhabitants are orphaned children, she decides to surprise them by sprucing up the joint, hoping her act of kindness will make them forget her breaking and entering and they’ll let her stay. Said cleanup time is underscored by one of the more upbeat tunes in Disney’s songbook, “Whistle While You Work”. Like Mary Poppin’s “A Spoonful of Sugar” it’s all about finding joy in the little things that make the work go by quicker.

“Here’s the last of the underwear, Bambi. And try not leave any ticks in the laundry this time!”

But as we all know, the cottage belongs not to seven children, but seven little people who work as jewel miners, all the while singing that famous mining song –

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“No, the one sung by dwarves.”

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“Seriously?!”

All joking aside, Heigh-Ho is the best song in the movie, no contest. Easily the catchiest tune here if not the entire Disney canon. If it can keep a theater full of gremlins occupied, it’s doing something right.

Sure, they whistle while they work for now. But once they find the Arkenstone it’s all downhill from here.

And let’s not kid ourselves, the dwarfs are the real reason why we keep returning to Snow White. Their quirk-matching names and designs make each one memorable, they’re endlessly entertaining, and they’re the characters that come the closest to having some form of arc. The group is a prime example of the illusion of life that is animation, exaggerated to a degree that they’re still believable in their movements and mannerisms. Dopey especially works well in this regard, a wonder considering much of his character was developed by happy accident. When an actor suitable enough couldn’t be found, they made the decision to simply mute him. Like much of Disney’s favorite animal sidekicks, they based his personality around that of a lovable dog, though I’d be lying if I didn’t see some Harpo Marx in there as well. As a result, his childlike playfulness and comic timing is up there with Chaplin’s Little Tramp. His hitch step was also an unexpected boon; after animator Frank Thomas put it in one of his scenes, Walt liked it so much that he insisted all previously animated footage of Dopey be redone to include that step. Incidentally, Frank’s popularity among the animation staff reached all-time lows after that announcement.

Snow White flops down for a quick nap on the beds upstairs just as the dwarfs return home. What follows is them sneaking about their now suspiciously squeaky-clean cottage and further establishing their personas through a series of finely-tuned gags (Walt paid five dollars for every good joke his guys could come up with, and this was when five dollars could take you out to dinner and a show). Dopey is elected to check the bedroom and he comes to the conclusion that Snow’s sleeping form is a monster. The dwarfs work up their courage to go kill the beast themselves only to realize in the nick of time that it’s just a harmless girl. But Grumpy, the clear-cut misogynist in the group, isn’t keen on having a “wicked-wiled” female refugee in their abode and shamelessly yells “Let ‘er wake up, she don’t belong here no-how!”

Snow wakes up and instantly charms over everyone except Grumpy as they introduce each other. The dwarfs are shocked and terrified to learn the Queen has put a hit out on her. Grumpy in particular declares the Queen is a powerful witch skilled in the black arts, which is true, and it raises a potent question. Is her magic common knowledge throughout the kingdom, or is it mere speculation? If it’s the former, how did that come to be? What happened to Snow White’s father the king anyhow? All this could make for a very interesting –

“You know what, never mind, forget I said it -“

“Too late! Jenkins, write that down! Bob’s gonna love it!”

“Very good, sir. Shall I pre-heat your crack pipe in preparation for the first draft writing session?”

“Does the Academy loathe streaming services? Hop to it, my man!”

“Hey, I thought you left that jerk to go work for Don Bluth.”

“Shh! I jumped ship after A Troll in Central Park and came back under a new identity. I couldn’t pass up the bankroll Disney’s been on since 2009.”

“Mum’s the word.”

Grumpy’s certain that they’ll be in the Queen’s crosshairs once she learns they’ve been harboring Snow White and demands they kick her out at once. But Snow White stands up for herself and says she can take care of the house for them if they let her stay. Just like Belle offering herself in her father’s place, no one corners Snow into the position of housekeeper. She’s the one who puts herself out there, listing all her best qualities like she’s on an interview. It’s only when she does so (and also mentions she can bake a mean gooseberry pie) that the dwarfs overrule Grumpy and declare she’s welcome in their home.

Yet even when all is said and done, Snow makes it clear that if she’s the one doing the work, then the dwarfs must play by her rules. Immediately following their acceptance, she goes into full Team Mom mode, insisting they improve their manners and wash themselves before dinner’s ready. Doc attempts to get around it by saying they cleaned up “recently”, but despite her sweet nature, Snow won’t let them walk all over her. She does a cleanliness inspection that makes the dwarfs almost as bashful as Bashful himself, and even gets a good bit of sarcasm in (“Why Doc, I’m surprised.”) The dwarfs washing themselves is another one of those Silly Symphony-esque filler scenes, but at least it gives us more time for their fun shenanigans; though I have to wonder if dog piling Grumpy and half-drowning him takes it too far.

“Where’s the money, Legrumpski? Where’s the fucking money??” “It’s down there somewhere, lemme take another look.”

Back at the castle, the Queen is showing off her newly acquired bodily organ to the Magic Mirror while demanding he validate her preconceptions of who’s fair and who’s not. Alas, the Mirror tattles on Snow White’s location and reveals that heart belonged to a pig, which I’ve got to say I’m glad they didn’t show how the Huntsman got ahold of.

Infuriated, the Queen storms down to her secret lab (and no, there’s no wrong lever scene. I’m disappointed too). She brews up a potion made up of ingredients like scream of fright, a thunderbolt and partially hydrogenated dimethylpolysiloxane which will completely transform her into a disguise nobody could suspect her in, an aged peddler woman.

Was I afraid of this scene way back when? Of course, but it was one of those rare moments where I didn’t want to look away either. Here we have a woman dangerously obsessed with beauty becoming the very thing she loathes in order to sate her implacable desires. Not only that but in this disguise she’s able to set loose the insanity buried deep beneath her frigid calculating exterior, grinning and cackling like the witch that she is. The Queen never smiles once when she’s in her true form. But once she’s the old Hag and it’s all cackling and gap-toothed smiles, it’s extremely unnerving.

Case in point.

“Anyone else miss the creepy fade to black where the villain’s eyes remain for a few seconds? Disney needs to bring that back.”

Major props to Lucille LaVerne, who gives a bone chilling and utterly unrecognizable performance as BOTH the Queen and the Hag. She made the switch from one role to the next by removing her false teeth between recording sessions. In doing so she gave us one of the great Disney villain performances.

The part where she preps the infamous poisoned apple does undercut some of her menace, however. The Hag is supposed to be sharing her scheming with a cowardly raven, but due to how much she stares directly into the camera while monologuing, it comes off as directly addressing the audience, like we’re watching her in a play. It’s not just the Silly Symphony style of storytelling creeping in, it’s melodramatic semi-vaudevillian theatrics that early Hollywood was moving well away from at this point. And again, what’s with the sudden speaking in rhyme?

At the last moment the Hag looks up a possible antidote to the poison and learns that it’s Love’s First Kiss. However she scoffs at the notion that Snow White can be saved because she’s counting on the dwarfs believing the princess is dead and burying her alive.

“For those of you who claim Disney waters down fairy tales into saccharine pap, I point you to Snow White.”

And it doesn’t end there. As the Hag leaves the dungeons, she passes a cell where a skeleton is sprawled out between the bars, reaching for a water pitcher. It’s bad enough to imagine this poor soul dying of thirst, spending their last moments with salvation just out of their grasp, but the Hag openly mocks the skeleton and kicks the pitcher aside. If that’s not a deciding irredeemably evil factor moment, it comes pretty darn close.

This would have also tied into an important but ultimately scrapped sequence where the Queen kidnaps the Prince, locks him in the dungeon to keep him from saving Snow White and torments him by detailing her elaborate scheme.

This sounds vaguely familiar…

Depending on which pitch you’re reading, the Prince refuses the Queen’s offer of marriage, and she enchants the chained-up skeletons of other scorned suitors to dance in an extremely misguided attempt keep him entertained while she’s out, or floods the dungeon to drown him. He makes a daring escape and rides to the rescue on horseback.

Again, vaguely familiar…

Unfortunately we had to wait twenty-plus years for this to happen because the animators weren’t confident in their abilities to create a believable male character. This is why the Prince appears only in the beginning and the end of the movie (and by extension why the Cinderella’s Prince is barely in that feature as well). When it came to making Snow White look realistic, they subtly incorporated some rotoscoping in a few places (I’d call it cheating but it’s difficult to tell where it begins or ends because she looks that good eighty years later). But I guess it just wasn’t worth the effort to do the same for her love interest, who doesn’t even get the dignity of an official name (fans go back and forth between Florian and Ferdinand). He’s reduced to a deus ex machina – which to be fair is exactly how he was treated in the fairytale. The movie has the slight advantage over that, however, by setting him up before he arrives for that wake-up kiss.

“And now it’s time for Silly Songs With Happy, the part of the review where Happy comes out and sings a silly song. Today’s interlude, appropriately titled “The Silly Song”, features choreography which has gone on to inspire many other Disney musical sequences dating as far ahead as the 70’s.”

“Hold it!! It’s just the exact same movements with the Robin Hood cast grafted over them!”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“Well…no…it’s just a bit distracting when you finally notice it. I mean I love Disney’s Robin Hood, but boy did they take the main character’s attitude towards stealing to heart when it came to the animation.”

And yes, “The Silly Song” itself is fun too. It’s one of the less remembered Disney tunes, though I have fond memories of it due to its inclusion in the Sing-Along video lineup. The decision to have it follow the Hag’s unsettling introduction makes perfect sense; I could imagine audiences experiencing it for the first time needed a bit of a breather after that.

I guess I should mention the musical number we could have had instead of this one, though. “Music in Your Soup” was a similarly lighthearted song that was fully recorded and animated before it was ultimately cut. It was expertly animated, featured more dwarf-Snow White interactions, and it also closed up a plot hole involving a bar of soap Dopey swallowed earlier. Still, it didn’t add much to the story overall and it disrupted the flow, and keeping both that and “The Silly Song” would have been superfluous; so as much as I like “Music In Your Soup” I think they made the right call in sticking with “The Silly Song”.

After the dancing, Snow regales the dwarfs with a love story, though they quickly figure out she’s talking about herself and her prince. She dispenses with the self-insert fanfiction and sings the movie’s eleven o’clock number “Someday My Prince Will Come”. Bawl all you want about setting women’s rights back a decade, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a lovely song, even without Casselotti’s vocals. In fact, much of the movie’s soundtrack has been a go-to for jazz artists through the decades ranging from Miles Davis to Dave Brubeck. The pure simplicity of Larry Morey’s lyrics and Frank Churchill’s melodies are ripe for riffing on. Virtually every cover I’ve found succeeds in the impossible task of measuring up to the original in some capacity. The action in the song itself is subtle and restrained, mainly focusing on the dwarfs’ reactions. It’s not only good storytelling, but a clever way to get around showing more of Snow White than the animators could handle; she was already tough enough to animate even with rotoscoping.

Snow realizes how late it’s getting and ushers the dwarfs to bed; however Doc and the others try to behave like gentlemen and allow her to sleep upstairs while they take up whatever space they can fill on the lower floor. It goes to show how much her kindness and politeness has had an influence on them, at least while she’s around. Them taking up whatever sleeping space they can find on the ground floor is an excuse to squeeze more gags in, but I’m fond of how it lets us wind down and take in this cozy atmosphere.

The next morning before they head out the dwarfs warn Snow White to beware of strangers. Even Grumpy can’t help but show concern in his own gruff tsundere way. It’s little touches like this that reveal Snow White’s unwavering compassion is chipping away at his chauvinist attitude and he really does care about her after all –

Hang on, they couldn’t spare ONE dwarf to stick around and keep an eye out in case the Queen does drop by? They’re really think the Queen isn’t going to make another murder attempt as soon as possible? They sadly must, because no sooner do the dwarfs heigh-ho off to work than the Hag creeps up like a meth user turned Jehovah’s Witness.

“Hello, my name is Elder Grim. Would you care to learn more about our lord and savior Chernabog?”

After the animals fail to communicate the obvious danger, they fetch the dwarfs for help. Meanwhile the Hag has convinced Snow White to let her into the cottage and show off her “magic wishing apple”.

Already I can hear the slapping of a thousand facepalms through my screen. I get why, but there’s something about the situation that feels strangely relatable. The Queen is fully aware of Snow White’s gentle, trusting nature and knows how to take full advantage of the girl. Snow isn’t all smiles and open arms though. There’s a split second of regret the moment she divulges she’s by herself, and as the Hag literally corners her into tasting the poison apple her body language gives away how uncomfortable she is. Even the cottage itself grows darker and claustrophobic, mirroring her trapped state. Snow White knows there’s definitely something off about this stranger, but there’s the downside of her kind personality. She can’t bring herself to kick the old lady out no matter how wrong this scenario inherently feels.

“Just keep smiling and slowly reach for the mace.”

Ultimately the Hag coaxes her into tasting the apple. Every breath leading up to it is dramatically intercut with the dwarfs led by Grumpy (further proof Snow White really has gotten through to the old softie) racing back to the cottage.

Do you want to know why the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is considered one of the scariest movies of all time? Because for all its promise of a gory spectacular, the violence is deliberately kept offscreen. Our imaginations fill in the blanks and come up with even worse terrors than they could possibly show. Snow White’s poisoning works on that logic. All we hear is her gasping and groaning as the Hag gleefully looks on, ending with the most cinematic shot of the film.

If you’re still convinced Snow’s a dunce for biting the big apple, trust me, it’s a vast improvement over the original. The Queen showed up in disguise three times to kill Snow White with varying methods: strangulation by laces, a poisoned comb, and of course the apple. This was cut down to the last one for obvious reasons – not only would the story be repetitive and extremely padded if they remained, but it makes Snow White look like an idiot for falling for the same trap thrice in a row. The only time I’ve ever seen the inclusion of all three murder attempts work is in the anime The Legend of Snow White (which despite the laughably bad English dub is worth checking out). By the time the Queen comes around with the apple in that instance, Snow White is well aware of who she’s dealing with. But she plays along because the Queen has turned the kingdom to stone, and the only way to break the curse is by taking the bait and destroying her staff while she thinks she’s down, thus turning what was once an act of naivete into a heroic sacrifice.

The Hag exits the cottage feeling confident in who’s the fairest now just in time for the dwarfs to show up. They chase her through a thunderstorm up a cliff side. Literally trapped between a rock and a hard place, she attempts to dislodge a boulder and crush her pursuers. But Zeus is having none of that and a lightning bolt strikes the cliff, plummeting the Hag to her doom.

To quote Linkara, “Thus the origin for ‘Rocks fall, everybody dies’.”

And in case you’re still thinking she could have survived that drop, even with that boulder tilting over after her, the vultures that have been tailing her since she left the castle begin circling lower and lower over the place where she now lies. A chilling, subtle way to show they’re getting a meal after all.

We fade to a wake the dwarfs are holding for Snow White, complete with organ music and weeping – LOTS of sad, silent, motionless weeping. Poor Grumpy gets the worst of it. One can only imagine the tsunami of emotion he must have felt coming home to see that she was making a pie just for him. Like “Someday My Prince Will Come” it shows how restraint can be an asset in acting for animation. Considering how it’s very much like a real-life wake and just how much everyone believes Snow White is truly dead, this was a tough scene to get through.

The seasons pass and we’re told through title cards that the dwarfs couldn’t find it in themselves to bury Snow White, so they built a glass coffin and kept constant vigil along with the depressed forest animals.

“Clearly the idea of watching her slowly decompose over time never crossed their little minds.”

The funeral on top of the wake keeps piling on the sadness. We’re used to animated features moving us to tears, but you have to remember for audiences back then this was an entirely new experience because no animation dared to get this heavy. Think about it: Shirley Temple, Charlie Chaplin, the best and the brightest of Hollywood who poo-pooed Walt for his ridiculous idea – all moved to tears over Snow White. I can only imagine the satisfaction Walt must have felt hearing their sobbing at the premiere. Again, going back to that animator who felt genuine fear for her safety, the audience developed an emotional bond with the character just as they would for a real human on screen.

The Prince FINALLY shows up again still singing his One Song. Believing the love he has long searched for to be lost to him forever, he says his final farewell by bestowing her with Love’s First Kiss.

“Ah – “

“If you make ONE necrophilia joke, I swear I’ll take all the Adam Sandler movies off the Shelf.”

“Please, no!! I’ll have nothing to fully snark at!!”

The kiss does its work and Snow White awakens none the worse for wear. And since what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, she’s immune to all poison ingested via deciduous fruit now. That’ll make ruling the kingdom she’s inherited from her stepmother and disappeared father much easier. And for those of you complaining how a magical kiss is a cop out, trust me, it’s better than how the original fairytale resolved it.

“Somewhere my love lies sleeping, and here she is! I’ll pay you dwarfs anything to let me take her back to my castle and keep her there as a memento of our tragic love.”

“This had better be worth it, she weighs a freaking ton!” “OHH, there goes my hernia!” *BANG*

*HACKHACKCOUGHHACK* “Thanks for the Heimlich, guys, damn apple’s been stuck in my throat for a year!”

“Seriously, I’m not making that up. Plus, they invite the Queen to the wedding and force her to dance to death in red-hot iron shoes.”

Everyone rejoices, Snow White says goodbye to the dwarfs, and the Prince leads her on his horse to his shining palace in the clouds. They all live happily ever after, the end.

And that’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the very first animated Disney movie. Do I believe the American Film Institute’s claims that it’s the best animated film of all time? Well, to be honest, no. The main characters aren’t as developed compared to future Disney protagonists, the animation goes noticeably off model at times, and it’s got one foot stuck in the style of the Silly Symphonies shorts that came before.

Is it the most influential animated film, however? Of course! Without it animation wouldn’t be as mainstream as it is today. While the formula has been updated and subverted through the decades, most animated features follow a similar blueprint – a dastardly villain, fun side characters, memorable music, distinct visual flair, fighting, torture, true love, miracles, you get the picture. We wouldn’t have any of that without Snow White. Once upon a time, this movie was the Star Wars of its era; a groundbreaking, audience-thrilling blockbuster that changed the way people looked at movies. Part of that is because Snow White taps into an emotional simplicity in a manner few films are able to. It relies more on providing an emotional catharsis than logic, inviting us to experience the story as we once did through the eyes of a child, and in doing so captures the essence of a classic fairy tale.

In fact, looking at the ripple effect of how movies can influence one another across the years, Snow White ranks among one of the most influential movies made in general. Apart from Disney you can see its echoes in The Wizard of Oz, Gulliver’s Travels, Citizen Kane, and yes, the original Star Wars. Even Sergei Eisenstein, the man who revolutionized filmmaking with freaking Battleship Potemkin, declared Snow White to be the greatest film ever made.

…So why did Walt Disney come to hate it later on in life?

Every movie that’s met with acclaim and accolades is bound to hit some backlash for one reason or another. Maybe it’s been overhyped, or time hasn’t been that kind to it. For Walt, Snow White leaned into the latter as his artistic prowess grew. No creator likes looking at their past work because it’s easier to notice the flaws when viewing it through a more experienced eye (believe me, I know). That, and no matter what he did, it seemed impossible to escape from Snow White’s shadow. For decades everything he created was inevitably compared to it.

Hmm, the animation and music are an improvement, but what it’s really missing are some dwarfs.

Hmm, the creativity leaps off the charts, but if only the score had lyrics that rhyme with the words “shmeigh shmo”.

Hmm, it’s breathtaking and magical, but it’d be perfect if you could just sit and watch it for eighty minutes without interacting with any of it at all.

Hmm, it’s practically perfect in every way, but…um…uh…more dwarfs, dammit!!

Thankfully Walt’s displeasure mellowed after some time. As for Snow White, she’s still rightfully hailed as the one that started it all. The art is iconic, the characters are unforgettable, and virtually all the songs are Disney gold standards for a reason. Well before Rodgers and Hammerstein changed the face of musical theater by having the score and the book go hand in hand, Snow White did it first in the cinemas. In fact this was the first movie to ever have a commercially released soundtrack, another confounded idea Hollywood wouldn’t understand for quite a while. Though time may temper with modern expectations, Snow White is as much a classic now as it was destined to be eighty years ago, and nothing can touch it. It still is the fairest one of all.

“HA! Try to remake/sequelize THAT, Disney!”

“Excuse me, is it too late to join this review?”

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Oh, where are my manners? I’m Snow White’s sister, Rose Red.”

“…You sure you’re not just a color-swapped OC clone from Deviantart?”

“Of course I’m not, silly! I’m in the fairytale and everything! Well, not THE fairytale per se, but there is one titled ‘Snow White and Rose Red’ where we’re siblings.”

“Checks out. They’re technically related.”

“Okay, but what are you doing here?”

“I was just wondering when you were going to discuss my upcoming movie!”

“Your…movie?”

“Oh yes! It’s going to be Disney’s Snow White all over again but from MY point of view! Isn’t that exciting?”

“But…but you weren’t even in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

“I know! I was off to the side doing…well, you’ll have to wait and see! The lady who wrote that Gone Girl knockoff that takes place on a train and the Indecent Proposal remake is doing the screenplay and she is just delightful!”

“…Excuse me for one moment.”

“Oh dear. Have I said something wrong?”

“It’s ok. This is just the part of the review where Shelf goes berserk.”

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Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Special thanks to Amelia Jones and Gordhan Ranaj for their contributions.

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February Review: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) If there's a reason why we're able to recall the story of Snow White from memory, and why said princess is usually depicted with short hair, a cute bow and surrounded by woodland fauna, look no further than Disney.

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i-surviv3d-bitchh · 7 years

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My father has been a total dick to me for basically my whole life, but recently, realizing how pissed I am at him, he’s backed off a lot. And he’s been actually really helpful with my anxiety--I’m constantly freaking out about my bills, and how I’m being crushed under debt. But he told me, for one thing, that I’m not going to die. Our family would never let me be homeless. His girlfriend only paid off her student debt a year or two back, and she’s in her fifties. If I hurt my credit, I hurt my credit, whatever! It’s going to be okay.

So my fears of financial ruin are largely mitigated. But that’s just half the problem--the other half is the SHAME I feel for not being completely independent and self-sustaining.

I just graduated college six months ago. I’m still figuring out how to function in the adult world. I have ADHD, and that has impacted my ability to work enough to live above basic survival. I’m moving forward, but it’s not instantaneous or easy.

And my family...oh, shit, you know what, actually, it’s my mom. It’s just my mom. Her boyfriend bothers me a bit, but not really much at all--it’s just my mom.

As background, my mom has lived off of men for 95% of her life. She had a rough childhood and was taught, as a baby boomer, that she SHOULD rely on men, and thus never developed any real skills. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a shopaholic and criticizes everyone else in the world for not making money, despite her own failed efforts to make anything.

I’m making about $150 dollars a week right now. It’s total shit. I’m scraping by. When I go to my mom’s house for a day or two, I have to eat out--I’m an extremely picky eater, like, I have psychological problems with eating, and I’ll starve if I can’t find something I can stomach, because everything else makes me nauseous. I spend one to three bucks on a meal, one or two times a day, but JUST when I’m staying at my mom’s house. Back at my place, I could go a whole week without eating out; though most weeks, I eat out just once or twice. But again, less than $5.

And she blames this apparent flippancy with my money for my not having health insurance, and now, for having trouble affording first month’s rent at a new place since I’m being kicked out next month. I need to see a doctor for one or two things, but they’re not life-threatening or causing me any daily inconvenience, so I just told her I’m going to go within the next six months, but I just can’t right now. And she flipped out that I need a pap smear because I might have fucking cervical cancer. Which freaked me out, with my anxiety, but I talked to my dad about my symptoms and realized they could all be attributed to other, more likely sources (stress, trauma, yeast infection, etc). So, the fuck, Mom?

As for rent, my friend’s family is planning to give me a pretty nice discount for a bedroom in a townhouse they own, though the price will probably increase within the next few months as I get on my feet. It’s Christmastime, and I don’t think that, between my successful 30-year-old brother (who owns 2 pawn shops), my decently-employed father, my mother’s boyfriend (maybe) and my grandparents (and maybe uncle) that I couldn’t round up 300-400 bucks for rent as a Christmas present. But my mom flips out, accusing me of spending my money willy-nilly, and having to rely on others because of it.

This coming from the woman who blatantly lied, telling me her boyfriend would pay me back, in order to get me to buy a $340 bus ticket for my bum brother to come home--with my graduation money. Her boyfriend, out of pity and not obligation, waived a $140 debt I owed him, but I’m still out $200. Permanently, essentially. Speaking of my 27-year-old homeless brother, he has basically been living off of the family for ten years. He’s utterly aimless and a pathological liar, saying whatever he has to in order to scrape by. He’s “spiritual”--“I don’t understand why everyone is so concerned with money,” he tells me. “They get so worked up, they should learn to let go. *I* don’t worry about money.” Fuck you, dude, you don’t worry about money because you’re using everyone else’s money to live. Both my father and my mother’s boyfriend have squandered thousands of dollars trying to get him on his feet, but he’s a lost cause. I love my brother, and he’s not a mean or angry person; he’s actually really nice and has a warm personality--but he manipulates so he can live as he pleases, and he lies about feeling bad about it. However, I’m pretty damn sure he has some mental illness (but he refuses to see a psychiatrist) so I give him a bit of a pass.

I bring this up, though, because I’m fucking 22 years old. I JUST graduated college. And I’m struggling. Is that a fucking sin? I have mental illness; they KNOW this. And I’ve gotten SO much better and I’m SO much more successful than I was even a year ago, but it’s never enough. I’ve always been recovering, I’ve gotten worse at times but it’s been a general climb; but I’m not superwoman. Yes, my other brother, a year older than me, is sustaining himself out of pure willpower, working 40+ hours a week. But we are not the same, everyone has different abilities and disabilities, and I cannot do what he does, at least not right now.

But how dare I need help? This from the woman who conned me out of money; promised me graduation money that never appeared; convinced her boyfriend to buy her a $5,000 porcelain doll; collected $800 a month in child support for both my brother and I even though he had his own place and I was off at college, and for a whole semester, never sent me the $200 a month she promised; told me, a month out of college when I’d just gotten a decent job, that I shouldn’t go asking for that $340 back because I didn’t “need” it; and on and on and on. No, she’s not a completely horrible person, yes, she’s done a lot for me, but no, that doesn’t erase this character flaw of hers or her fault for treating me this way.

She’s literally the worst person I know with money, she makes barely anything herself and relies on her boyfriend, and sometimes lies and cheats to get what she wants. But she is so quick to point fingers and shame you for getting a fucking burger.

Writing this has been very cathartic. I’m trying to be less ashamed, and it makes me feel better to realize that the person shaming me the most is the one who has the least right to do so. Americans owe over $1.45 trillion in student debt; I should feel no shame for having any, because it’s basically just what you have to do to get an education and a job people like me are fit for (I would die of exhaustion doing any manual labor); just about every college student has some; it’s going to end up hurting the economy and private loan servicers more than us when we inevitably start defaulting and I kind of like watching capitalism--I mean, the world--burn. ADHD is a genuine disability that I accept that I have and will overcome, but it will take time, and I’m not going to rush myself because that’ll just make shit worse. I’m twenty fucking two, and most of my age group is floundering right now; I’m not alone and my lack of success isn’t because of any more or worse character flaws than the next person. I don’t deserve to feel ashamed for my financial woes, considering the state of US business practices and politics, as well as the simple reality that very few people are comfortable by 22. I’m just going to try to...take a fucking chill pill.

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merswine · 7 years

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I just inexplicably looked up and reread the monologue at the end of "death of a salesman", and I find myself feeling the exact same I did 10 years ago when I read it for class. While I understand intellectually that it is meant to inspire sympathy and a feeling of a tragic hero for Willy Loman, I could never conjure that. It's been years since I actually read the book, so pardon any mistakes, but the speech brings nothing to mind but the slow winding down of life and body. Yes, it's a shame that things change as you grow older. You tend to forget these things once you hit mid to late 20s and hit that "adult" plateau. But inevitably, as we see with Willy, your ability and influence and personal network shrinks, just due to the slow plodding of time. The world moves on as always, but you don't have the speed or flexibility to keep up. While "attention must be paid" is something I generally hold true to myself, the tone of this speech feels more broadly compelling. The idea that it's a shame that the world is moving on and not stopping to pay respects to or care for this old man who gave so much. The world cannot stop for everyone, I would not expect it to. We can always be kind and acknowledge the life of someone whenever possible, but you are never owed that respect inherently, any more than anyone else. Listen, I've been there. In fact, I WAS there when I read this book. Literally going through intense feelings of wanting the world to stop and pay attention to my personal tragedy never once influenced my read on this character. The main drive of DoaS is the idea that Willy paid his dues, he paid in to life, and now he's down on his luck and can't support his wife. His children are moving on with their lives, and isn't it tragic that they are forging their life without making a life for their father. This strikes me as so ironic given the current millennial/boomer discourse. Willy expects to receive money and respect as a withdrawal for all the work deposits he made in his life. His salary declines as his ability to work as a traveling salesman, bringing in clients and sales, does too. Yet, it seems to be implied that even though he can't perform the job, he expects to live on the way he is accustomed. Does this sound like any argument you've heard about young workers? I know the generation doesn't line up, and I'd like to look further into it. If my parents' generation (boomers and just after) believe you should have to work yourself to the bone and if you can't survive, that's your fault, was that a reaction to their previous generation which seems to have believed that your employer and the world in general owes you a life and acknowledgment? Maybe I've been too jaded by my time in the workforce, but again, my opinion on this has never changed. I am a disposable piece in any company I have worked for, and beyond maybe health benefits or anything outlined in a contract, I would never expect them to have an obligation to ensure my job security or retirement, especially if I couldn't still perform the job. But maybe I'm just a lazy millennial.

#this has been #Katie yells about the classics #it's been a while #anyways I wrote this in one draft on mobile #so suck it #is there even anyone else in the #death of a salesman #tag #it'll be just me and my mostly inaccurate rant #I need to sleep but I spent 10 min on this why

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poop4u · 4 years

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The Thunder from Up Over

#Poop4U

Last week we had one hell of a thunderstorm in the middle of the night, and for only the second time in five months, Skip barked in his crate. (The first time he had diarrhea.) Skip is normally a dream dog in his crate. He goes in happily, lies down and goes to sleep. Skip has been a “downstairs dogs” since he came, at first because I followed generic house training rules to introduce him to one area of the house at a time, and then he injured himself and couldn’t go upstairs at all. So right now he sleeps downstairs in his crate, while all the rest of us sleep upstairs. (Upstairs privileges are on the agenda for this month.)

While I blearily decided what to do, it being 2 AM, Skip let out a heartbreaking howl after an especially loud boom, and I scurried downstairs and began a counter conditioning program. It’s easy, if you can call anything easy at 2 in the morning. Skip and I lay on the rug, and every time it thundered I said “Thunder Treats!” and gave him a treat. The idea is as simple as the execution–teach the dog that thunder means something really good is about to come. Classical counter conditioning is a powerful tool, and I didn’t hesitate it use it right away at the first sign of Skip being afraid of thunder.

I’ve had great luck with it with my own dogs, and also with hundreds of clients. It was heartening, but no surprise then to see that a survey of dog owners found it to be more effective than other methods of treating thunder phobia. You can read about it here in Zazie Todd’s Companion Animal Psychology blog, where she writes about a study that finds classical conditioning and “relaxation therapy” to be the most effective method of dealing with thunder. (As described by owners.)

Of course, it’s not simple if your dog is so frightened that he won’t take food. In that case, you have to start at a much earlier point. I wrote the steps to take in a post of mine from May 2009. I include them here because thunder season is starting here in the Midwest, and if there was ever a time to jump on it, now’s the time. (I highly recommend doing this to prevent thunder phobia if you live in an area with a lot of thunder storms.)

From May 2009:

Counter Classical Conditioning: This is the first treatment I recommend, and it is especially effective in mild or moderate cases. I’m doing it now to prevent thunder phobia in Will, who is one of the most sound sensitive dogs I know, but so far has not reacted with any anxiety to thunder. In this paradigm (described in a a general sense in The Cautious Canine), you pair something the dog adores (food or play best) with a damped down version of what scares him. Your goal is to condition your dog to associate thunder with something he loves, so that his emotional response to the loud noise is “Oh boy!” rather than “Oh No!”

To get this to work:

~ You need to start at whatever stimulus first elicits any sign of fear in the dog. Dogs backward chain storms so well that you can use them as meteorologists… beginning to pace and whine when the wind comes up, and in extreme cases, when the barometer drops long before the storm rolls in.

~ The thunder or other stimulus has to be mild enough to prevent eliciting extreme fear (you can also use CDs or tapes of thunder, but need to have speakers distributed around the room, overhead being best).

~ The “treat” (food or play) has to be highly desirable so that the emotional response it elicits is more powerful than any fear elicited by the thunder.

~ The thunder/noise has to come first… so that it becomes a predictor of something good.

~ You need to proceed in a step-by-step manner, gradually linking louder and louder thunder with the food or play.

In other words, you hear thunder in the far distance, you say “Oh boy! Thunder Treats!” and give your dog a piece of chicken, or throw the ball if they are more motivated by play. Your goal is for your dog to emotionally respond to thunder as a predictor of something good, just like a clicker in clicker training.

Yeah, I know. Believe me, I’ve been through it myself with several dogs. You see the problem here…. how, exactly, does one make arrangements for thunder storms to begin in May with tiny, little quiet thunderettes and then gradually work their way up into glass-rattling boomers once your dog is ready for it? Well, you can’t (if you can, please write soon), but you can give your dog the ‘treat’ (I used food for Pip and play for Luke & Willie) whenever the thunder is relatively quiet, and then just stop once it becomes loud. I’d run outside with Luke and play ball when the barometer dropped and the wind came up, continue playing until the thunder started far away, and then come inside when the thunder began to get so loud that it would overwhelm Luke’s love of ball play. Then we’d go inside, I’d let him hunker beside me, rub his belly, sing and laugh. He got through it in two seasons (I’d call his case a moderate one, not at all severe, while Pip was severe for a few years but came through it fine after two summers of thunder = chicken.).

Back to the present: More thunder is expected this week, so I’ll be cooking up some chicken and getting other treats ready for Skip’s counter conditioning. There’s lots more to read on this topic if you’d like, I’ve written several posts about this topic, it being such a critical issue here in thunder alley. You can read about it (and my changing perspectives) in blogs on May 8, 2009, and June 26, 2018, or go to the Learning Center in my website.

I should also mention, that since I wrote those earlier blogs, a new medication, Sileo, specifically designed for noise phobias has been released. Several people commented in earlier blogs that they had found it helpful. I’ve personally had no experience with it, so chime in if you have.

MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Picture perfect weather allowed us to have a picture perfect night in the tent on Saturday night. I wouldn’t say it was the best sleep we’ve ever had, due to the nearby, and seemingly unceasing, chorus of coyote yips, howls and tremolos. Tootsie, by the way, seems to love the tent because she gets to sleep in the bed all night. (Another reason why sleeping in the tent is not the place for a good night’s sleep. Toots is not allowed on the bed in the house because she has fallen off of it, landing in a terrified, and terrifying, thump at dark-thirty in the morning.) In the tent we surrounded her with pillows, and carefully arrange our legs on either side of her and try not to move much.) Speaking of picture perfect, the dogs lined up like this on their own while Jim was building a fire, and if it didn’t call for a photograph, I don’t know what does.

The colors this time of year are so rich and varied. I loved this simple view of our Lilac tree in front of the light green Sunburst Locust.

Speaking of color, we have one Tree Peony bush that blooms for just a few days in the heat, but oh my, when it does . . .

The butterflies and bees are out in abundance now. Last night, a pair of Swallowtails flitted over and around my head in what I am guessing was a mating dance. They were so busy getting busy that they were oblivious to me–I expected them to alight in my hair while a bluebird perched on my shoulder and Bambi nuzzled my hand. Here’s one busy gathering food.

One more thing before I go. I have made it a point to avoid anything even vaguely political in this blog since its inception thirteen years ago. That decision was as much for my sake as for others; I wanted, and still want, this site to be a place that provides knowledge about human-animal relationships, and the joys and challenges of this remarkable miracle that we call life. Disagreements and controversies regarding training methods and beliefs have always been welcomed, as long as they are done with compassion and respect.

However, the events of the last week and a half in our country are so huge, and so critically important, that it feels unethical to ignore them here. I have struggled how to handle this for days–say something or say nothing? I’m aware that having a public forum is an honor, and should not be taken lightly. There are reasons for me to continue staying out of current events even today. I’ve received many comments over the years from people thanking me for keeping the tone and focus off of anything that doesn’t relate to animals and animal behavior.

But I have to say something today about what’s going on in our country–our poor, challenged, partially broken country. I just have to. Here is all I’ll say here: Jim and I believe that enough is enough. That there is deeply ingrained racism in this country that has been highlighted by the brutal, and heartbreaking, murder of George Floyd. That police departments need more support for community policing, for cops who bravely call out colleagues who betray the public’s trust, and less emphasis on violent, aggressive behavior. Jim and I are doing our parts as best we can. We’ve marched with protest signs in a small group of socially distanced friends. (Afterward I thought I should have made a sign that said “Old people for Equality.”) We’ve made numerous contributions to organizations that we feel are working toward positive and realistic changes. I’ve been involved for the last year in encouraging every citizen to vote, and I will redouble those efforts. We read and talk and listen and question and keep asking ourselves “what else can we do?”

I say this not expecting any responses; I just needed to say it. I apologize for breaking the “rules,” but as the duck said in the movie Babe, “That’s a good rule. But sometimes rules need to be broken.” I’ll post short comments related to this that are compassionate and respectful, but promise to avoid letting the blog be overwhelmed by controversy.

Thanks for hearing me out. Stay safe friends; let’s be careful out there.

Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com Trisha, Khareem Sudlow

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moredickpics-blog · 5 years

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The Dick Pic Generation And Why We’re Still Stupid About Nudity

Millennials are what I call “The Dick Pic Generation”.

We’re the Dick Pic Generation because we have the technology. If the Baby Boomers had the technology, they definitely would have tried.

Instead, Boomers vacuumed up the wealth and polluted the Earth so now the dubious honour of polluting the world with terabytes of our junk has fallen to us Millennials.

But make no mistake, it’s not because of our horned up culture that makes us do it, it’s nature. Older generations, if given the opportunity would have done the exact same thing.

My question is, seeing as how there is this compulsion for humans to be gross, should there really be such an outrage we share pictures of our naked bodies?

To be clear, I don’t mean sending out other people’s nudes, or sending/receiving them uninvited. I mean that people lose their jobs and get tarnished for doing something that yes, is primarily a private matter, but also a deeply human experience: being gross with other people and using what technology we have available to enable that.

There’s plenty of stories of people getting canned for what they put out on social media, and we all more or less understand when you mock a war widow or post a photo of you urinating on a plate of nachos that it’s not something your employer wants reflected on them.

But the same goes for a teacher drinking alcohol, or having sexy bikini pics, or an ex-boyfriend posting their nudes online. And that’s fucking bullshit.

“Teacher fired for bikini pics” came back with over 9 million results on Google. Progress against revenge porn is slow, but ongoing, thankfully. But the attitude is still largely, “well, you took the pictures in the first place, that makes you the idiot.”

Nudity has power because of its scarcity, and because there’s a deep shame forced on all of us to think of it as both precious and perverted. While there are terabytes of naked people floating around the world, and porn is a multi-billion dollar industry, and strip clubs bring in $7 billion in the US alone, there persists this bloody hypocrisy about the naked body or near-naked body.

Let’s understand why this isn’t working.

Sexuality often takes the brunt of cultural hypocrisy. I’m certainly guilty of it. I cringe anytime someone points out “what, we’re all naked under our clothes, we’re all sexual beings. It’s natural.”

Being a bit of a prude, I get it’s a true statement but still operate with the bias that it’s gross to point out. “Come on, it’s natural, it’s natural.”

Yuck. Stop that… Unless they’re hot.

But being open about it is punishable by ostracism not because it’s gross in the same way braiding armpit hair is (come on, it’s natural) but because there’s some deeply fucked up psychology that punishes sexuality. Especially as a woman, you’ll be called a whore in places if you express sexual agency and experience worse if men even suspect it.

It doesn’t change anything though. Our DNA is older than our belief systems. People are sexual, and people are gross. What we should try not to be however, is a hypocrite about it.

As a couple examples, they did a study that found sexting occurs mostly on weekdays between 10am and Noon. On Tuesday specifically.

A study by Drexel University found a majority of teens engaged in sexting without knowing it technically counts as child pornography.

In 2012 the Pentagon had to tell its employees to stop looking at pornography at work. The Pentagon, the monolithic symbol of American military might, had to ask its employees to stop using work computers for porn.

I know exactly what you’re thinking right now, “But Mark, why the penis which is objectively ugly?” Here’s my rule: All genitals are ugly until we want to put our mouths on them. We can’t escape that. We’re not Gods.

If you’re in an increasingly erotic chat with someone and it eventually gets to nude shots of their bum, tits, vaj or cock, it creates excitement and anticipation. It makes you cry out “O Joyous Occasion!” as you rub yourself through your sweatpants (be honest). You get into talking about what you’re into and it’s hot and titillating. That’s hormones and nature, not culture. Ask Weiner. But don’t text him.

But those interactions are about two people who are into it. What about one party who’s unwitting and unwilling about the whole thing?

A survey found 53% of Millennial women have received a dick pic. 24% of the men in that same survey admitted to sending a dick pic without being asked. The survey doesn’t head on address the question “but was it heavily implied it was okay or just totally out of the blue?”

This was my reaction, because dick pics can be contextual in the same way any nudes are. They can be tastefully and appropriately submitted into conversation, or like a ham-fisted joke can be just bad writing and timing.

Well, of the 53% of women who received a dick pic, three out of four say they received it unsolicited and unwanted.

Apparently God’s gift to man is man’s shockingly poor gift choice to women.

In another article on AlterNet, they surveyed seven types of reasons men sent dick pics. These reasons included an exhibition kink or thrill they experienced, or a swelling of pride, thinking it’s what women want to see, thinking it was a cheeky sexual invitation, or doing it for dominance and control, or for positive feedback, or simply because they can because hey it’s magical Internet and we’re anonymous.

Most of these reasons are just sad. Doing it for domination and to stress someone out is just a dick move. Doing it because you’ve been ignored by countless women and just want to get some kind of reaction is, well, sad. It’s sad that guys feel driven to this, and that their loneliness and alienation makes them bitter and resentful. I’m pretty sure this fuels a lot of the misogyny we see today in these Men’s Rights Groups.

Quick aside: In that earlier article linked to about revenge porn, a woman ended her relationship with her possessive boyfriend and he angrily accused her of sleeping with at least three male friends based on looking at her Facebook pictures. He threatened to sell her nudes online unless she was honest about how many guys she slept with.

Ooof.

On the more forgiving side of things, philosopher Alain de Botton says we guys share dick pics to share something vulnerable about ourselves as the genitals can be a source of disgust and shame. By sharing our bodies we are both vulnerable and connected, and because sex is a major fact of life there is something theoretically tantalizing about genital shots.

To artist Whitney Bell, who turned unsolicited dick pics into an art exhibit, sending dick pics is also an expression of power. She creatively robbed the power of those unwanted pictures by turning them into art (more “Piss Christ” art than the Sistine Chapel kind).

Bell believes it’s a way for men to terrorize women, like “screaming at a woman from a car. You’re just doing this because you can, and because the world has taught you that that’s OK.”

This Everyday Feminism article calls unwanted dick pics “sexual assault”.

Then again…

Watch out! Patriarchy!

I frankly think this gives men too much credit. Men tend to be visually inclined, they respond to filth and think others, particularly women, do too. Have you ever looked at personal ads on Craigslist? It’s better than charades at parties. What you’ll find though is both earnest ads looking for monogamous love and depraved ads looking for sex, and both are accompanied by cock shots.

Because, for as many men that are terrible there are just as many that are kinda clueless. Never attribute to malice what you could attribute to lazy, horny, socially inept, one-handed texting.

Men are not smart enough to be cruel enough—most guys anyway. Maybe some men think that perhaps out of a hundred sent dick pics the one person that actually bites and wants to meet up to get some of that sweet dick is worth the ninety-nine who feel violated looking at impromptu genitals?

But what do I know? I’m one in a hundred.

Of course this doesn’t mean there aren’t assholes out there who know it can be distressing for a girl to receive a dick pic and do it anyway. They exist. The Internet exaggerates that capacity, empowering men to be more flagrant and direct with harassment at the same time being anonymous. And there certainly is a power dynamic when one sex has their genitals normalized enough they can send it willy-nilly and the other sex is so thoroughly demotivated they could never send pics of their vulvas or whatever they’re called. Vaginas.

So let’s make a distinction: There’s a dick pic, and there’s an unsolicited and unwanted dick pic. I have never received an unsolicited dick pic and thought “Ooh! Future husband!”

But never say never. I’m open to it, is what I’m saying.

Thousands of people have lost their jobs because their nude photos wound up on the Internet, and there’s an oppressive and stupid shame that perpetuate this arrangement. Here’s one such list article that basically repeats itself on items 2, 3, 4, and 5:

It Can Ruin Your Career

The Photos Can End Up On The Internet

Or They Can Up In The Wrong Hands

They Can Live On Forever

What articles like this say is that your naked body has negative power over you. But nude photos have only as much power as we give them, and they have been drastically inflated.

We kneecap people’s potentials for what they can do with their lives because there’s evidence they’re naked under their clothes. Nude bodies should not be leverage against their owners.

At least when we ostracize someone for pooping in public there’s actually a good many reasons to. But calling a girl a slut, or believing her unlovable because she has nude photos on Tumblr?

We got here because our sex education was terrible. We weren’t taught human nature properly as a kind of capacity for different beliefs and actions, sometimes at odds with each other. We weren’t taught about biology, upbringing, cultural imprinting and institutional enforcement.

But without that we are far likelier to be worse hypocrites. It’s how we’ve become hypocrites about something that, come on, is natural.

We’re at war with our nature and we’re worse for it. Society is deeply unhappy. Relationships end badly and frequently, antidepressants are prescribed in ever-more numbers.

Lastly I have to ask, what is going to change first though, human nature or our attitude towards our nature?

What do we have power over? Humans are always going to be perverted apes on some level, but we don’t have to be hypocrites.

We have power over our education systems if we choose it, and that’s how we can be less hypocrites about such fundamentally human experiences.

Obviously it’s our attitudes that need to change, as it slowly has been.

In many parts of the world, women can show ankles. Praise God. Women can vote, hold public office, and even marry who they choose. That’s because our attitudes changed.

Cultural change is slow and nebulous, but it’s an aggregate of a thousand interactions and decisions by individuals trending toward sometimes vaguely outlined normatives. We can outline those normatives because we can control our attitudes.

Repeat that five times and send nudes.

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themeatlife · 5 years

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the Meat Life’s 2019 College Football Preview

We have already had the unofficial start to the college football season with the “Week 0” matchup of Florida and Miami in Orlando. I’ll take a look at the rest of the season and how I think it will play out. I’ll take a look at four Heisman contenders, four teams on the verge, who I think the Power 5 Conference Champions will be, and then my Top Four/Next Four going into the season. Let’s get started!

Heisman Hype

No other personal award is more hyped that the Heisman Trophy. And over the years this has turned into a QB award due to how much quarterbacks are responsible for. This year looks no different. Here are my four:

Trevor Lawrence - QB, Clemson Tigers

While I think he is overhyped, I do think Clemson has a talented young QB in Lawrence. He makes you forget last year he was a freshman that only started the Tigers’ fifth game onward last year. And crushing Bama in the championship game last year also helps back the hype up. He seems to be the co-front runner along with the next guy.

Tua Tagovailoa - QB, Alabama Crimson Tide

Yeah, this guy. While he had a spectacular statistical year last season and was in the driver seat of the Heisman race for most of it, Tua seemed to buckle a little bit against Alabama’s best competition. I think his performance against Georgia in the SEC Championship Game was measured against OU’s Kyler Murray’s performance against Texas in the Big 12 Championship Game (fairly or unfairly) and that may have been where Tua lost the Heisman. So, something he can definitely improve upon this season.

Jake Fromm - QB, Georgia Bulldogs

Fromm has been on it since his freshman year when he led the Bulldogs to the National Championship game. His yards will always be stymied a little since Georgia’s offense is a bit more run-heavy than the other contenders. But the talent is there and so are the TDs. If he gets past Alabama in the SEC title game (should they win the East), then Fromm might grab the Heisman.

Jalen Hurts - QB, Oklahoma Sooners

It would be stupid not to include Jalen Hurts on the short list for the Heisman. It’s been well publicized. Hurts was 24-2 as a starter at Bama. Lincoln Riley has coached the last two Heisman winners with Baker Mayfield and Kyler Murray. Hurts oozes leadership, and under the direction and in the system of Riley, the sky is the limit. We’ll see how well it works, Jalen only has had eight months in the Oklahoma system while both Baker and Kyler had three years. But if anyone can channel QBs, it’s Riley. And Hurts gives them experience and leadership.

On The Verge

Here are teams I think are on the verge of a breakout season, whether it be getting back on the national stage or taking the next step toward competing for the national championship.

Nebraska Cornhuskers

Lots of Oklahoma fans like me miss Nebraska. I always wish them well, and in year two under Scott Frost the Cornhuskers are looking to take the Big Ten West. QB Adrian Martinez is healthy and ready to steer the Frost offense. And it helps that Nebraska is in the weaker division, so they’ll really just need to get past Wisconsin and/or Iowa. We’ll see how things go but look for Nebraska to get back to 9 wins or more if all works out.

Michigan Wolverines

If there were any year for Jim Harbaugh to put Michigan over the top of Ohio State, it would be this year. He has updated the Wolverine offense by hiring OC Josh Gattis. Shea Patterson is a veteran QB that will benefit from this. They have always had a stout defense. It is Ohio State’s first full season in the post-Urban Meyer era. Although I think Ryan Day will turn out to be a good head coach, I think it is lining up to be good for the Wolverines. But...if Michigan doesn’t break through, is it time for Harbaugh to move on? I’m a big Harbaugh fan so I say it would be stupid to move on from him, but if they don’t beat Ohio State this year there will be more than murmurs.

Utah Utes

Utah has kind of always been on the verge. Since joining the Pac-12, they’ve always had a solid defense, good running game and a QB away from running the conference. We’ll see how QB Tyler Huntley will be. If they can get solid play from him, look out. And the schedule works out, with no match ups with Pac-12 North powers Oregon or Stanford in the regular season.

Iowa State Cyclones

I would have said Texas here, but according to most media outlets Texas is back. Iowa State seems ready to challenge for a top two spot in the conference championship game. Matt Campbell has proven a good coach with the propensity to get the most out of his team especially in upset scenarios. QB Brody Purdy seems poised to get to control the offense although they have to replace all-conference RB David Montgomery. The Cyclones get TCU, OSU, and Texas all at home this year.

Power 5 Conference Champions

ACC - Clemson Tigers

Clemson is king of the ACC. It’ll be interesting to see who will challenge. Syracuse seems like a cool story, as is Virginia Tech and Virginia. Florida State has something to prove in year two of Willie Taggart. But Dabo Swinney has a machine in Clemson and arguably the best QB in the country.

Big Ten - Michigan Wolverines

I’m going out on a limb and saying Michigan will break through this year. See above for why.

Big 12 - Oklahoma Sooners

Until someone proves otherwise, the Sooners run the Big 12 on the football field. Texas will surely challenge. I did shout out Iowa State earlier and there will be challenges from TCU, OSU, and possibly Baylor. But they all are not favored. Oklahoma has the nation’s worst pass defense and still ran through the conference. The defense should be improved but that’s what we said every year under Mike Stoops. The conference slate will be new DC Alex Grinch’s proving ground.

Pac-12 - Washington Huskies

The Huskies have won the Pac-12 two of the last three years. No reason to think they won’t do it again, this time behind Georgia-transfer Jacob Eason at the helm at QB. Chris Petersen has built a consistent program since coming from Boise State. There will be challengers in Utah, Oregon, Washington State, and possibly Stanford and USC if they can get their stuff together. But for now I think Washington is the class of the West.

SEC - Alabama Crimson Tide

What can I say. Bama is king. Georgia has given them a run for their money the last few years and will be the East rep in the conference championship game. The West is all Bama although it will be interesting who challenges them the most out of Auburn, Texas A&M, and LSU. Tua will be on a mission to prove himself against the Tide’s best competition. Nick Saban won’t be overly concerned with the conference and just make sure they are on track for another playoff appearance and possible matchup with Clemson.

Top Four

I didn’t put a number by any of them so I’m no particular order is mine and almost everyone’s top four until one of them falls.

Clemson Tigers

Alabama Crimson Tide

Georgia Bulldogs

Oklahoma Sooners

Next Four

This is where the debate is. The next four could be interchangeable with LSU, Texas, Oregon, and a few other teams. But right now I think these are probably the next four that are likely contending for the playoff.

Michigan Wolverines

Ohio State Buckeyes

Washington Huskies

Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Well, it’s about that time. Enjoy the football this weekend and the rest of the season! I’ll check back in. I’m also planning on anniversary entries for television legends Lost and Friends. Stay tuned.

BOOMER SOONER

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elizabethcariasa · 5 years

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Tax help to take care of aging (and injury prone) parents

My mother and my furry little brother Willie having a conversation. While walking Willie last October, my mom fell and broke her leg, a common occurrence among older dog owners. That accident has prompted ongoing discussions (OK, fights) on possible more hands-on care options for my octogenarian mother. (Photo by Kay Bell)

I'm a cat person. Fight me. Or don't. Like cats, I'm not really concerned about your pet opinion.

For almost a decade, though, I've been dealing with a dog. Not mine. My mom's.

She has a dog, Willie, and he's the most spoiled animal I have ever known. It's also why last fall she ended up in the hospital.

During one of his walks, Willie decided he wanted to chase something and the jerk of his leash ended with her on the sidewalk, unable to get up because of a broken greater trochanter bone.

Dangers for older dog walkers: My mother's injury situation is not novel. A study published today (Wednesday, March 6, 2019) in the journal JAMA Surgery, found that the estimated number of fractures associated with walking leashed dogs in recent years has grown by 163 percent — going from 1,671 in 2004 to 4,396 in 2017 — among patients 65 and older.

My mom was lucky, relatively speaking. Although she broke a major leg bone, it wasn't her hip and she didn't need surgery. After a brief hospital stay, then a rehab facility for several weeks, she returned to her home — and dog — sooner than I and even her doctors had expected.

I'm convinced that a major reason she recovered so quickly was Willie. She was convinced I wasn't taking proper care of him, that is, not giving in to his every whim. She was right. I'm a bad dog mom, having "raised" only cats, who aren't as needy or as needy in the same ways as dogs.

Plus, I was a bit ticked at Willie for his role in her injury. Still, my mother refuses to put any blame for her fall on her beloved pooch.

I'm still working on convincing her that saying "no" to Willie won't kill him and that he'll still love her if she shortens his walks or goes a bit more slowly. The dog walking injury analysis is on my side.

"Clinicians may play a role in identifying at-risk patients and minimizing fracture risk by advocating for preventative actions, such as obedience training to ensure dogs do not lunge while leashed, or suggesting smaller dog breeds for individuals contemplating ownership," according to the University of Pennsylvania study authors.

They found, as was my mother's case, that most of the dog-walking related fractures occurred among women and more than a quarter (28.7 percent) required hospital admission.

When it's time to parent your parents: All things considered, my 84-year-old mother (and her dog) came through their fall in pretty good shape. I still worry, but it's just something I'm going to have to learn to live with since she's not giving up Willie.

If my mom actually lived with the hubby and me or accepted more financial support from us, I might be able to exert more control. Or not. She's always been stubborn, something the hubby says is genetic. But I digress.

My mom remains fiercely independent and I'm glad that for the most part she is still able to take care of herself, both physically and financially.

However, many adult children eventually find their parent/child roles reverse and they must enter into a more formalized care taking situation.

In these cases, the Internal Revenue Code might be able to provide you some help.

New credit replaces exemption: First, let's look at a major tax law change.

Persons who've been taking care of mom and/or dad for a while have learned this filing season that there have been some changes.

Under prior law, when you could claim your older parent as a dependent, you were allowed an exemption for that parent. This was several thousand dollars that helped reduce your adjusted gross income to a lower taxable income amount.

However, under the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA), exemptions are eliminated.

In many situations, the loss of this income reduction tool should be offset by the new tax law's larger standard deduction amounts and wider income brackets to which new lower tax rates apply.

Also, your dependent parent could mean you qualify for the TCJA's new $500 tax credit for any non-child dependent. The amount might seem small, but note that it's a tax credit, which means it provides a dollar-for-dollar reduction of any tax you owe.

Again, every individual tax situation is unique, so the TCJA changes might help or not in parental dependent cases. You'll need to run the numbers to see where you stand.

Parents as dependents: The key to claiming the new family tax credit is making sure your parents qualify as your tax dependent. The requirements are slightly different from what's necessary when claiming a minor child as your dependent.

You and your folks must pass five tests in order for Mom and/or Dad to be claimed as your tax dependent. They are:

The person you are claiming as a dependent must be related to you. This obviously isn't a problem when you claim a parent. In-laws and stepparents are also allowed here. However, foster parents do not count as a relative for tax dependent purposes. To claim a foster parent, he or she must live with you for a year as a member of your household.

Your parent must be a citizen or resident of the United States or a resident of Canada or Mexico.

Your parent must not file a joint return. If your parent is married, he or she must file separately. There is an exception if your parent is filing jointly, but has no tax liability. If your parent files a joint tax return solely to get a refund, you can claim him or her as a dependent.

Your parent must not have a gross income of $4,150 or more for the 2018 tax year. This amount will be adjusted for inflation as necessary for tax years 2019 through 2025, the last tax year for which TCJA provisions are in effect unless they are extended. Non-taxable income, such as Social Security when the benefits are the person's only source of funds, does not count toward this amount.

You must provide more than half of the support for your parent during the year. Support includes amounts spent to provide food, lodging, clothing, education, medical and dental care, recreation, transportation and similar necessities.

Special parental support considerations: Note in determining parental support, the half amount can be achieved when you and others, for example your siblings, all contribute to an aging parent's support.

To receive the exemption, all those supporting your parent must agree on and sign IRS Form 2120, Multiple Support Declaration.

Even if you cannot claim your parent as a dependent because he or she filed a joint tax return or has too much income, you still may be able to get a tax break for a parent's medical expenses. You can deduct your parent's medical expenses on your Schedule A as long as you provide more than half of Mom's or Dad's support.

Since your medical costs must exceed a certain percentage of your AGI (7.5 percent for 2018 returns, 10 percent for the 2019 tax year) before you can claim them, a parent’s added expenses could help you meet this itemized deduction requirement.

You may also be able to claim the Dependent Care Credit if you must pay for someone to provide necessary assistance to your live-in parent so that you can go to work.

Aging, as my dearly departed father-in-law always reminded us, is not for sissies. This applies to both adult children and their parents, especially when the time arrives to discuss lifestyle changes for the entire family.

Here's hoping that these shifts aren't necessary for a long time and when they do occur, they go smoothly and that Uncle Sam and the tax code can help with the transition.

You also might find these items of interest:

7 signs an older parent may need help

Attention Baby Boomers: Your aging parents could be in financial trouble

Family-related tax law changes mean that taxpayers with dependents need to check their withholding