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cherry-romper · 2 days

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When You're Injured

+ Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Marco, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin, Hange, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Porco, Pieck, Zeke

Eren; • Emotional. Tends to get overwhelmed by worry. Eventually, that stems into anger, and he lashes out at everyone as a projection of his own guilt. He feels guilty for not protecting you. • Will spend more time trying to convince Levi or Erwin to let him avenge you instead of being with you. • If he is with you however, he cries silently to himself (either genuine tears or just on the inside). Of course, he's worried for you and if you'll recover but the reason he's sad is because he doesn't think he's good enough. • Got you flowers though, picked them himself. He also made sure you were getting the best care. • Didn't realise that he was pushing people away from you by not allowing anyone else but the nurses in the room. • Does more harm than good really, but it all comes with good intent so you give him the benefit of the doubt.

Mikasa; • Protective and worried. • Sleeps by your side and cares more about your health than her own. • She forgets to eat sometimes and is reluctant to leave you alone, just in case. So, she asks for someone, mostly Armin, to wait with you while she washes up and gets some food. • She's worried but not too emotional about it because she knows you'll heal soon enough, so she doesn't act much different. • Works out by your bedside instead of leaving. • Insists on feeding you herself to make sure you actually eat the food.

Armin; • Bless his little heart, he's worried sick. • Will read to you even when you're asleep and holds your hand the whole time. • Panics if you groan or move, he thinks you'll drop dead any second. • Gets scared when the nurses do examinations. He's always afraid of bad news. • Doesn't stay with you all the time. He leaves during the day to rest and wash. He also using his alone time to cry about being too weak to save you. • Blames himself, for some reason, and insists that if he were as strong as Reiner it wouldn't have happened.

Marco; • Calm about the whole thing. He's just grateful you're alive. • He knows the next few months are going to be hard but he's willing to care for you every step of the way. • Worried, of course, but is confident in your strength. He knows you'll pull though. • Buys the most expensive flowers and changes the water nearly everyday so that they stay alive for as long as possible. • Sits by your side and talks to you, even when you're asleep, so you don't feel lonely. • Lets the nurses do what they need to do because he knows that you're in good hands. • When you get out the infirmary he buys the nurses flowers to say thank you for keeping you alive.

Jean; • Doesn't let anyone see that he's worried sick about you and acts like he's fine. He's scared people will tease or bully him for it. • He cried a lot. Doesn't let you see him cry, nor anyone else, but he does it a lot. Marco found him though, crying behind some bushes, and comforted him. • After that he was more open and didn't care what people thought and stayed with you until he was forced to leave. • Holds your hand and rubs his thumb on the back of it. He even traces the lines on you palms. • Draw things for you. For example, he'll draw you a dog he saw in the street or he'll draw something silly like Connie and Sasha as stick figures to make you laugh. • If he has to leave while you're asleep, he'll leave a little note saying he'll be back soon.

Connie; • He's left in tatters. He goes into auto-pilot and doesn't really act like himself. • He becomes a rollercoaster of emotions. So, somedays he'll be really motivated and trains extra hard so he can protect you next time and other days he'll just sit by your side, staring blankly out the window. • He cracks jokes from time to time, even if you can't hear them and tells you stories of what's happening while you're stuck in bed. • Refuses to let himself cry because "a real man wouldn't cry" but crumbles anyways and cries into you arm. • Asks Sasha what to do while he waits for you to get out. She recommends he spend as much time with you as possible and just be grateful you survived. She makes sure he's okay while you can't be there for him.

Sasha; • Unsure how to handle the whole situation. She panics a little but once the nurses reassure her that you won't die she settles down and lets them do their job. • Brings you food, even if you can't eat anything solid. If you don't want it that day she eats it for you. • Would bring you flowers that she picked herself from when she was out hunting. • If you're well enough, she'll lay on the bed with you and cuddle you; whether it be platonic or not, she just wants to make sure you're okay. • She doesn't really baby you, but during the recovery period she does everything for you. No matter how tall you are, she doesn't let you reach for anything or go to pick anything up. She does it for you. • She kinda oversteps sometimes and refuses to let you clean, even if Captain Levi ordered it. If he forces you, she'll argue with him. She doesn't care about the repercussions, she just wants you to rest and heal as fast as possible.

Levi; • No different to how he normally is. • He's calm and collected. Of course, he was worried at first but knew that the nurses would take good care of you. • Some days he stresses though. If your condition dips or if you're struggling, he'll be a lot harsher on the cadets. • Doesn't cry because he knows his tears are useless, but does sit but your side until he needs to leave on duties. • Brings you tea he made himself and always makes sure you're comfortable before he leaves. • He's fine with other people seeing you but still has security posted at your door. • You're given your own room because he doesn't want you catching anything else while you're in the infirmary.

Hange; • Panic followed by calm followed by more panic. • Treats your wounds themselves. Its not like they don't trust the nurses, they just wanna make sure you're okay. • Brings you a little titan doll to keep you company when they're not there. Which you found to be a bit ironic. • Keeps the spirits as high as possible and always tells you stories or jokes to make sure you're entertained. • Their duties are still priority, as they knows you'll be okay, but they always makes sure to visit you when they have the time.

Erwin; • You take over everything. • He's terrified of loosing you. He's lost too many close to him already and even if he is reassured multiple times that you'll be okay, he's not shifting from you side. • Your room becomes his new office for a while. He does his work by your bedside, everyday without fail. • Sometimes you'll wake up and see him asleep in the chair, papers scattered on the floor from where he's dropped them. It warms your heart but also pains you to see that he doesn't care for himself. • When he wakes up, you tell him to take care of himself and refuse to let him anywhere near you until he does. • He was a bit dramatic and wrote you a eulogy. He thought everything was over. He sat and cried into his papers as he wrote it because he genuinely thought he was going to loose you.

Reiner; • Broken. Completely broken. • Cries everyday until you are better. He only lets you see it though and tries to act okay for the others because he knows they look up to him. • Is incredibly dramatic and tells you his secret. He didn't think and just kind of said it without noticing you were conscious. To be honest, you didn't really take it in when he first said it due to drowsiness so you forgot by the time you fell back to sleep. • Has a crisis. Fights with himself about who he is and who he wants to be. After talking with Bertholdt he came to the conclusion that he just wants to be there for you, no matter what, even if it means taking you with him. • Holds your hand and doesn't let go. He's scared that if he does he'll loose you. • Flowers. Daily. Fresh ones too. • He makes sure you're clean and fed. He even gives you his portion of food.

Bertholdt; • Worried about you, but fights with himself over it. He has a voice in the back of his head telling him he shouldn't be worried because he shouldn't care about you. So he just cries in the chair next to you, fighting his inner demons. • He isn't with you often and tries to distance himself because of the mission. • During the period where he refuses to visit, he finds himself asking the others how you're doing. After a while, Reiner just tells him that he needs to visit you himself because "you never know what could happen." • This leads to him buying you flowers and apologising for not visiting sooner. You tell him its okay and from then on he never leaves the room. • Falls asleep upright in his chair but ends up with his head on the floor and his feet hanging off the back of the chair.

Annie; • RIP to anyone who agrees to spar with her that first week. • Visits you once or twice for about an hour a time before leaving and taking her anger out on someone. • Reiner had to convince her not to change into a titan and attack in case you were lost in the carnage. • Not really used to the whole emotions thing. She deals with it her own way. • Brought you flowers but had no idea how to keep them, so they died quickly. She ended up getting annoyed at that too so you had to explain to her that its the thought that counts.

Porco; • Blames himself for no reason. He wasn't even there when you were hurt and still thinks it was him. • Goes through a million different scenarios wherein he could have saved you from being injured. Pieck had to convince him to stop before he hurts you further. • He's already rude enough as it is, but when it gets 10x worse when you're bed bound. • Sat by your side until you wake up. • Refuses to let anyone other than the nurses in the room with you, even then he doesn't fully trust the nurses. • His emotions get the best of him.

Pieck; • She's worries internally but has a calm exterior. She knows you're in good hands with the nurses, so there's no reason for her to be afraid. • Sits with you on the bed. If you're well enough she'll curl up at the end of the bed. • Bought you flowers. She went out and picked them herself. She arranged them in the vase so that when you wake up, you see your favourite flower first. • Feeds you herself. • When you first get out of the bed, you're both on crutches and laugh about being as useless at walking as each other. • You sit on the floor together instead of going to meetings.

Zeke; • He goes through the stages of grief even though you're not dead. • Denies that you're hurt. Refuses to believe you'd let yourself be injured. Convinced himself that you shouldn't have been out there in the first place, and then gets angry that you ever decided to join the army. • Has the WORST anger stage even. Throws an absolute fit. Breaks things, shouts profanities at the top of his lungs, drinks and smokes like doesn't have organs. His office is completely trashed. • He then tries to convince his superiors to take you off the squad; if he had his way it'd be the army altogether. He's certain you're not ready for the outside world, he just wants you protected. • His depression stage is just him sitting beside you. Unable to move, even if he wanted to. He's unsure if his brain won't let him move, or if he physically can't. He cries until tears won't fall anymore. • Finally, he accepts that you never wanted to get hurt, it was just a series of unfortunate events. Realises trying to take you out of the army, against your wishes, was a mistake. He feels horrifically guilty for how he acted and says sorry to everyone it affected, including you're sleeping form.

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neet-elite · 3 days

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↳ EVENT 28. C!M!Sydney (Worship & Yandere)

Pairing: C!M!Sydney / F!Reader Genre: Smut 18+ WC: 2,462 Warnings: worship, yandere, kidnapping, gagging, drool, drinking drool, handjob, rope, religious contexts, surprisingly soft?, somnophilia, dubcon (consent is not stated, assume noncon to be safe, but it depends on how you want to read it.) Prompt(s): 05 — worship + 18 — yandere Event Masterlist: CLICK HERE!!

A/N: also very nasty. god im sorry for exposing yall to my secrets LMAO.... i went for something not PIV to keep myself sane, so i hope its at least still enjoyable <3 sydney has so much yandere potential!!! mixed with the religious themes and god <33 big fav ty for letting me ramble a lil!

Heavy footsteps thump through the dark basement, creaky steps announcing his arrival within the dungeon, though soon are overtaken by the buzz of fluorescent lights, flicked on for his own comfort rather than anything as kind as your sight. Humming with his steps, seemingly without a care in the world as he makes his way towards your limp body slowly. Carefully calculated footsteps so as to not frighten you too much— he'd hate a repeat of last week. You were so loud with your wailing, God, barely allowing him to scrape by with a half-assed excuse for his fathers concerns.

That's why you've got the gag now, see? Oh, but he made sure to buy you the softest material, painstakingly picking the prettiest fabric to shut you up with, because you deserve only the best.

"Love?" His voice croaks upon reaching you, your head hanging low for him to tilt at curiously. Asleep? Well, even unconscious you're still the prettiest thing he's ever seen, a sick smile beaming down at you when your drowsy frame refuses to respond to him in any meaningful manner. No matter, he still loves you even when you're not awake. In fact, perhaps a little more than usual, only because you're so easy to dote upon!

Absentmindedly, he kneels before you. Cupping his legs with his arms wrapped around them, simply doting down at you from above. How long have you been down here again... God, he can't quite remember. But love does that to you, doesn't it? Melds all the happy days together, an amalgamation of sobs and kisses in blended days; it's got to have been some time, though. The ropes that bind you to the pillar in the basement have been digging into your skin enough to leave bruising, prompting him to wince down at you. "If only you had listened better..." He tuts to himself, running his thumb feather light over where the rope has slipped a little to reveal your wounds.

He'll have to tighten them later. At least until you can be trusted to roam the basement without supervision.

You know, he's spent his whole life in worship. Praying, begging to a false God for any sort of recognition. Doing his best to live life by the book, avoiding all that threatens to tempt him— but then you came along. Ethereal and blessed in his eyes, just begging to be followed. And so it's no surprise that he was immediately cast aside by the place he once called home, now finding refuge in your doe eyes and tear stained cheeks.

A temptress in your own right, worming your way under his skin so easily; it's no wonder that he soon switched religion. And, determined to prove his worth as a loyal follower of his new God, you, he could think of no better way than to hole you up in the dark dank so as to hold private sermons whenever he so wishes. His affections were already strong to begin with, something akin to fated obsession, right? From the moment you had first spoke to him, setting butterflies ablaze in his tummy— the feeling he's came to understand as love once resembling upset to his sheltered mind. But his feelings only grow the longer he holds you against the pillar, resolved to make you deeply feel just how much he loves you, how strongly he believes in you above all else, until you believe in him too.

But, he's not quite there yet. He can feel it, staring down at you with the kind of intrinsic understanding that only lovers share. That's how he knows he's doing the right thing when he settles on his ass with a soft oof in front of you, taking advantage of your crossed legs to wrap his own at either side of you, scooching closer only to brush stray strands of hair from your pretty face.

Ah, the face of a God. How honoured he feels to be touching you right now, ignoring the twitch in his pants from the scent of you in favour of caressing your cheek. Thumb stroking along it, teeth biting down on his bottom lip to keep his breath contained— you look so sweet right now, all fatigued and sleepy. He'd hate to disturb you too much, and, given how exhausted he is from keeping up appearances in that heathen church, he can scarcely find the energy to do more than stare. Touching you so gently, so delicately, as if he were afraid that any more pressure would prompt you into breaking before him. He loves you so much, enough to kidnap you and keep you hostage in his lonely basement for all eternity, it seems.

Somewhere in his body he knows his actions to be wrong, but the way your bottom lip wobbles before him easily coaxes him out of his rationality, his voice a hushed whisper with:

"Are you dreaming of me? Can you feel the way I touch you? Do you yearn as much as I do?"

The answer, inevitably, is no. No one, including yourself, could ever hope to match his state of desperation, prepared to live through a lifelong battle consisting of solely proving that very same fact to you. The life of a follower, a devout worshipper of all that you are, were, and will be.

When contained within the four walls he's caged you inside, that is.

He'll dress the place up for you, eventually. Gifts and favours, all meant to appease his God. But that'll come later, when you learn to accept his followership the way a God should. You're new to the whole divinity ordeal, so he's cutting you some slack.

But the longer he stares at you lovingly, the harsher his thumb digs into the fat of your cheek, the more his cock twitches with need to prove himself to you. Whether you're awake or not doesn't matter to him, he doesn't need your sobbing to confirm his place by your side— though you do sound oh so pretty when weeping his name. It's just that, well, any time spent with you is time well spent, he thinks. And tonight, he intends on revering you as he does much the same any night.

Free hand hovering over his cock, he settles into the cold stony flooring under him. Shuffling ever closer to you, he's found quite intimately that he can never be too close to you. But he needs only get close enough to reach your fingers right now, interlocking the hand that was on your cheek with your own in a tender display of followship. Of afflicted affection, feeling unable to do anything but cherish your existence.

"My love," He whispers to the lifeless body before him, drinking in the sight of your steady breaths. It's the calmest he gets to view you, so he keeps his touch careful in hopes of stealing more glances. "Allow me some alone time, please.." He huffs, cock already rock hard before you simply from slight touch. Doesn't this mean that you were made for him? Made exclusively for his gratification, for him to abide by, to keep an eye on you to make sure that you're forever safe?

Don't you think he deserves a little repayment in the form of the aforementioned alone time every now and then?

It's not like he's asking for much, lovingly lifting your flaccid hand only to place it against his hard cock, immediately letting out a shaky sigh at the heavenly contact your fingertips offer his bulge. A secret mass, forced upon his sleeping deity in such a perverted way, making your fingers caress his throbbing length because he can, because he knows that deep down you'd want to, right? You'd look upon his soft pout, the way his chest heaves with deep breaths every time he manhandles your fingertips against his own leaking tip, and you'd want to help him like the good little God you are to him, right?

And if not, well, he's very willing to help teach you the right way to behave. He's only been studying Gods his entire life; you had better trust him by now to know what's best for you.

Gradually, he applies pressure on your wrist. Aiding your motions, helping you stroke along his hard cock outline as a means to bond together. "Feels so good, love..." He huffs out against you, voice a tad bit louder due to the sheer amount of pleasure pooling in his tummy, throwing caution to the wind the more you play with him. Even if it's more so his doing, part of his worship is to help, is it not? Assisting your eager fondling by grinding his hips up and against your palm, relishing in the gentleness of your hand contrasting against each harsh throb of his cock. Taking private enjoyment in how good it feels to be so dirty with you, how the act of humping into your palm is not shamed by you, unlike his previous faith. But instead, he feels hedonistic pleasure in every roll of his hips, ass bucking up off the ground once or twice to really dig his leaking tip against your willing hand.

But it's all a bit too good to be true, he thinks. God, the way he could just stay here forever with you if it were possible— but alas, he has a life to live, too. Jealous as he is of your perfect position, able to remain unseen and unnoticed by many, hidden away with your palm on his cock, he stays mindful not to complain too much. After all, if not for his trips outside of such a sacred space, he'd never have been graced by the sight of your pretty gagged face. Cooing softly down at you, still yet fucking his bulge against your unknowing palm, he thinks something that feels so good could never be bad, right?

Not in the least because it's you who's causing his hips to stutter, a broken little whine escaping him at the way you so easily help him feel euphoric, not even needing to be conscious of your efforts to have him a panting mess before you.

"Angel..." Escapes him, and he fucking means it too. His little angel, clipped wings behind your broken back, doing your utmost to make him smile, to keep him happy. He can't help but to shiver into your innocent touch, letting your wrist turn limp once more for but a brief second. "Missed you so— ah, so much—" He ends up moaning, unbuttoning his pants and tugging on them enough to have his cock spring free before your sleeping body. Maybe he played with you a little too roughly the other day...

It's just that he wants to worship you so bad! And so well too, making sure to be so thorough in his prayer sessions that you end up exhausted the next day. But it's okay, he doesn't mind the weak grip of your hand as he instructs your fingers to wrap around his now exposed cock the way he likes, letting you simply feel how hard he throbs for you for a minute or so.

That, and he doesn't want to blow a load immediately. Calming himself down with shallow breaths, idly stroking at your fingers with his own until he feels like he can safely move your hand up and down— slowly. Lazily, almost, leaning back on his free hand so that he has a good view of your body as you're made to jerk him off.

And you feel so good. Too good, really, an uncomfortable weight resting in his chest when he tries his best to live up to the self imposed expectations he holds for himself. Is he even worthy of your touch right now? Hips bucking into your hand turned fleshlight regardless, because he's obsessed with your very existence. How you just feel so right when loosely gripping his cock like that, dozing away to yourself and still offering him such innocent pleasure.

You're down here fisting him off because it's only you who can make him feel this way. So choked up with moans, threatening to tumble from his bitten lips and wake you up with every idle up and down he flicks your wrist into, matching your strokes with little thrusts of his own, head thrown back in sheer enjoyment for the satisfaction you give him. Measly little fingers around his fat cock— it'd be embarrassing if he wasn't already head over heels for you, unashamed of just how much he constantly wants you, enough to use you like some sort of sex toy as a twisted means to honour your presence. See, do you see how good you're making me feel? he wants to whimper. You can't blame me for keeping you all to myself, right? Not when your barely there touch feels this good, God...

But he refrains, if only to practice future prayer sessions with you. His cock pulsing against your fingers, leaking precum onto your knuckles as he tightens his grip around your hand. Instructing his God perfectly to get him off quickly, struggling to catch his breath as his balls brow tight and taught under you.

"Ah— Close—" Is all he gets out before he's humping your hand faster, cursing under his breath at the high pitched whine that falls from his open mouth, eyes squeezed shut as he continues to fuck upwards as his load shoots with him. Up and forward, fat strings of his seed covering the top of your head, dribbling down your front from just how much your hand strokes out of him. Because he doesn't stop manipulating your wrist as his orgasm washes over him, making sure you milk every last drop of devotion out of him until you're left a sticky, unaware, sleeping mess.

But he can't just stop there, no! Driven to prove himself some more despite the daze settling into his lust addled mind, he leans forward. Your hand still loose on his tacky with cum cock, in one swift move he tilts your chin up for him to kiss your lips over your gag. The low rumble moan in response letting him know that you're waking to his greedy action, but he doesn't have it within him to stop. Licking over your gag, sucking on the drool you've inevitably spilled from having the item permanently fixed to your maw. He won't let a single drop go to waste, do you see how much he loves every part of you?

Any way to get any part of you inside of him, licking his lips selfishly as he pulls back to greet you.

"Afternoon, love."

#500 event!#dol smut #degrees of lewdity smut #sydney the fallen #sydney the fallen smut

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theobsidianempress · 1 day

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JJK AU Idea

So I had this idea for band au. Don’t get me wrong, I know everybody’s done a band au. Maybe I’m the same. Maybe I’m different but just hear me out. So I was thinking a punk rock/alt band Au with Nanami, Choso, Satoru and Suguru. Maybe one other person but I can’t think who to add. Maybe that’s where the Oc or reader comes in- depending on how I write it. Like a member of their band quits and now they need a new (insert person here) they pick pc/reader but there there’s shipping.

Who does she go for? Should I write it an otome game? Different choices lead to different outcomes? Or should I just pick someone and go with it? Because I think writing it like an ultimate game would be fun and like after chapter 3 or 4 that’s kind of the person you would pick and go from there. I also think this would be really fun opportunity to collaborate with other writers like people who specialize with not writing for Nanami or people who specialize in writing for Gojo that kind of thing so that way they could write the route the right way you know what I’m talking about?

Anyway, this was just a random thought. I had let me know what you guys think. I should do. I kinda like the idea of collaborating with other writers for like an otome type story. I think writing just a regular OC story would be fun too.

I was also thinking about maybe having like a whole rival we going on with like the main band they would call themselves a sorcerer and then like Sukuna would show up with his own band and then it’s like they called themselves the King of curses because of course he wouldn’t need the band after himself. Maybe there’s some “I’m gonna steal your girl” action or something. Idk… anyway thank you all for reading this if you got this far.

Also, I almost forgot happy #Pride! Love you all; as a fellow, bisexual and part of the LGBTQIA+ community - you are valid, you are loved ,you are worthy. Be safe and stay blessed.

#jjk #jjk manga #jujutsu kaisen #story writing #writer mood #gojo satoru #geto suguru #nanami kento #choso kamo #oc x canon #jjk au #writers on tumblr #fanfic #ideas #collaboration #otome game #otome story #punk rock #band

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laitoslittlemacaron · 2 months

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a few little room adjustments! 💖💚🌸 i love my desk a lot now, and the new little sakura Laito tapestry is soo cute!!😭💖 (look, my room is not fully Laito-only actually😔😔 this part at least... the wig is Shogun Raiden btw!)

also say hi to the chibi gang on my table<3 (no space left for them on my shrine lmaoo)

#years of collecting little things here and there so now i feel very happy with my room!#it really changed over the years #also go and collect things you see that make you happy!!#i also have a whole collection of crystals and some peacock feathers #always loved these things since i was tiny #another awesome decoration are fairylights <33 #and cute plushies #books you enjoy #photos you love on your wall from trips and friends and events #next to all of your favourite characters merch ofc #happy comfort place is very important!<3 #bless everyone who read all that #putting a little spell here for you for good things to happen to you and that your wishes and plans become wonderful reality<3 #btw i got the pastel pink-white desk shelf from aliexpress it really made everything better<3 just got it but if anyone wants the link?#im happy to share it<3 #diabolik lovers #diahell #dialovers #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #merch #laito appreciation #ディアボリックラヴァーズ #ディアラバ #逆巻ライト

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kaladinkholins · 4 months

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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.

essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu bes #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3 #btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context #by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3 #my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing #mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect #as mentioned in the post above #you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about #like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough #i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪#fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf

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wingsoverlagos · 2 months

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The Evolving Story of Kim Bennett, Pt. 1: Before Lewisohn

0. Mark Lewisohn’s Star Witness 1. An Introduction and Primer 2. The Evolving Story of Kim Bennett, Pt. 1: Before Lewisohn >You Are Here< 3. The Classic™ Contract Story, and Why Lewisohn Distrusts It 4. The Evolving Story of Kim Bennett, Pt. 2: Tune In 5. Lewisohn’s Other Sources 6. Lewisohn’s Portrayal of Kim Bennett & George Martin

After two posts and as many months of build-up, it’s finally time to look at Kim Bennett’s presence in Beatles history before Mark Lewisohn’s Tune In. As a refresher, Kim Bennett was a music plugger involved in a brief chapter of the Beatles' story, who Lewisohn draws on as a crucial witness to ~debunk the myth~ of how the Beatles’ first landed their recording contract with Parlophone. I’ve previously shown an example of Kim Bennett’s presence in Beatledom here, in an issue of Beatles Book Monthly, just a few pages before the name of a young Mark Lewisohn. I’ve also discussed some of the ways Lewisohn slants a story when he’s set on overturning a classic narrative – you can find that here.

Section 1: Mark Lewisohn on Kim Bennett

Part of the appeal of Mark Lewisohn’s Beatles-signing scoop is Kim Bennett’s oft-stated absence from the Beatles narrative. Lewisohn found and memorialized a man who had been marginalized from the Beatles’ story, a hero integral to their success who was erased from history due to his inconvenience to the legacy of a certain acclaimed producer. Not only has Lewisohn turned a classic narrative upside down, he’s righted the wrong done to Kim Bennett by the powers that be--or so he would have us believe. The importance of Bennett’s testimony and his exclusivity to Tune In is a crucial element of Lewisohn’s myth-building around himself and his work. Let’s take a look at a few examples:

In a 2014 interview with Dierdre Kelly, Lewisohn calls his revised version of the Beatles’ recording contract “probably one of the biggest things in the book.” As for how he came to that version of events, Lewisohn says, “It all fell into place when I met a man called Kim Bennett…without whose incredibly tenacious efforts—and he was never named in any book—we would never have heard of the Beatles. He literally was the story’s hero and he tells us a very different story.” [Emphasis mine]

From Allan Kozinn’s 2013 interview with Lewisohn, we get the following exchange:

Kozinn describes Bennett as “someone who had never been interviewed,” and Lewisohn not only doesn’t correct him, he furthers that idea by saying Bennett “had been trying for years to get people to listen to his story…and nobody wanted to know.”

As a final example, we’ll return to the episode of Nothing Is Real (season 7, ep. 7) that I excerpted in my first post on Bennett.

A partial transcript [emphasis mine]:

“I approached him, and he was so happy that I got in touch with him because he knew the true story of how the Beatles came to be signed to EMI and he knew that it was his efforts that had made the difference, and without him, it wouldn’t have happened. The Beatles possibly may never have happened without Kim Bennett, and he’d been trying to tell people for years, and people didn’t want to know.”

“He was a very frustrated man because no one had ever paid him the attention that he felt was his due.”

“…and if I hadn’t of got to him when we did, we wouldn’t know him, and we would always have that bizarre gap of how they got signed by someone who never met them.”

Again and again, Lewisohn tells us that Kim Bennett had been trying desperately for years to gain recognition for his action, and everyone ignored him--everyone but Mark Lewisohn. This is decidedly untrue. He has been mentioned in multiple Beatles publications by major names in Beatles history, which you can find in Section 3. But first!

Section 2: Biographical & Background Info

Here he is, the man of the hour, Kim Bennett - and I bet you thought that was the Barry Sisters! On the left, we see Kim Bennett's floating head from his days as a singer, and on the right, we see him fraternizing with Russ Conway circa 1967 - Bennett is in profile on the right. I've dug up some biographical information on the enigmatic Kim Bennett, and I wanted to share it here along with a little context about music publishing to make the accounts shared in the next section make mroe sense. If you're confident in your early-1960s music industry knowledge and know who Kim Bennett and Sid Colman are, scroll right along to Section 3.

I've cited Lewisohn a few times in this section when other sources weren't available. Every time I cite him, I put a quarter in the "Risky Citations" jar - once I've filled it a few hundred times, I'll take it to CoinStar and use the money to buy a copy of Fifty Years Adrift.

The Parlophone Contract Story is a story with many bit parts, most of whom won't appear until my next post--there will even be a figure! I'll assume you know the Beatles, Brian Epstein, and George Martin, the man who would become the Beatles' main producer. In the parlance of the times, George Martin was the A&R man (artistes and repertoire) of EMI's Parlophone label. As the A&R man at Parlophone, George M. has the head of the label, with duties including scouting artists, matching his stable of artists with songs, and overseeing the recording process.

Alongside record labels like Parlophone, Columbia, and HMV, EMI had other companies under its corporate umbrella. One of these companies was the music publisher, Ardmore & Beechwood (A&B).

Music publishers manage song copyrights; they make money by marketing and disseminating those songs. In the early 20th century, the big moneymaker for music publishers was sheet music sales. By the 1950s and 60s a sea change was in progress as record sales grew and eventually eclipsed the sale of sheet music. Just as the medium through which songs were sold changed, so did the way in which music publishers sold those songs: originally, song pluggers from publishing companies would pitch their songs to orchestras, brass bands, and dance halls, seeking out groups who performed live music, so that their audiences would go out and buy sheet music of the songs they’d heard (Southall & Perry 2006, p.ix-xii). With the rise of records, song pluggers would pitch their songs directly to A&R men; they would visit the A&R men in their office and sing the songs they had on offer, accompanying themselves on the piano while they did (Martin & Hornsby 1979, p.48). They could then market those records to sell their songs. If a song was recorded by multiple artists, as was often the case, the song publisher benefited regardless of which version of a song played. This set their interests slightly apart from record producers, who only benefited if their version of a song sold.

Let's illustrate with a Lennon-McCartney original: the music publisher for Lennon-McCartney's music, Northern Songs, would profit from both the Rolling Stones version of 'I Wanna Be Your Man' and the Beatles version, but the record companies would only benefit from the version they released - the Stones version meant money in Decca's pocket, while the Beatles version benefited EMI.

(I'm sure their are some additional business/contract complexities that come into play, but I believe the general principle is correct)

EMI Music Publishing would one day be a Big Fucking Deal, but when the Beatles joined in 1962, it didn't exist yet. Publishing was a minor interest for the company, and they had only a small publishing presence in the form of A&B, which opened in 1958 (Martland 1997, p.262). A&B was set up to handle the publishing interests of two American companies, Ardmore Music Corp. and Beechwood Music Corp., both of which were owned by Capitol Records (Cash Box 1958 Jul 26, p.34). Capitol Records had been purchased by EMI in 1955 (Southall 2009, p.25), and A&B was set up a few years later to handle their catalogue in the U.K., while also providing and option to publish through EMI for any interested songwriters. This was done at the behest of EMI Chairman Sir Joseph Lockwood (Southall 2006, p.9-10).

From its genesis, veteran music publisher Sid Colman (1905-65) served as general manager of Ardmore & Beechwood (Cash Box 1958 Jul 26, p.34). He would serve in this role until his untimely death in April 1965 (Cash Box 1965 Apr 24, p.47). You will encounter multiple spellings of his name, but Lewisohn assures us that Sid Colman (rather than Syd Coleman) is correct (2013, p.856). Kim Bennett served as his assistant and music plugger.

Born Thomas Whippey (1931-2004) (Lewisohn 2013), he became a Decca recording artist in 1954 under the name Kim Bennett. He recorded six singles, none of which charted. I haven’t found any of his work online, but for an idea of the type of music he released, here are other versions of two songs he put out: ‘Softly, Softly’ by Ruby Murray and ‘The Kentuckian Song’ by Eddy Arnold. He maintained a day job as an office worker until 1955, then briefly worked as a musician full time. He worked a season at Butlin’s (not the same location as Ringo), played some clubs, and toured with the Ambrose orchestra, but his career as a singer had petered out by late 1956. As Don Wicks puts it “[h]e was a victim of the growing rock and roll industry no longer interested in a soft pleasant vocal style.” (Wicks 1996 pt.1)

He resumed work at a toy warehouse, (Wicks 1996 pt.1) but later took a job in music publishing with B. Feldman & Co. Ltd. (Cash Box 1967 Jul 22 p.65). He began work with Ardmore & Beechwood no sooner than August 1958. He was still with Ardmore & Beechwood as of June 1965 (Cash Box 1965 Jun 5 p.55). By July 1967, he had moved to South Africa, where he ran a newly launched publishing company, Francis Day (S.A.) (Pty), which was established to manage copyrights of B. Feldman & Co. Ltd., Francis Day & Hunter, and Robbins (Cash Box 1967 Jul 22 p.65).

According to Lewisohn, Bennett spent his later years in Shropshire in “quite humble circumstances (Nothing Is Real, Season 7 Ep. 7, 29:30). He was interviewed by Lewisohn on July 27-28, 2003 (Lewisohn 2013 p.869). He died in 2004.

While biographical information on Bennett between 1967 and 2003 is slim (perhaps nonexistent), his role in the Beatles story received several mentions in print in those intervening decades.

Section 3: Kim Bennett in Beatles History

As I highlighted in my first post in this series, Kim Bennett was quoted in Beatles Book Monthly Issue 70, but that isn't his earliest appearance in the Beatles lore - he first appears in an earlier issue of BBM, issue 13, published in Augst 1964, p.22-3. He's mentioned by BBC DJ Ted King in relation to his work plugging 'Love Me Do'.

To summarize: Kim Bennett went to lunch with Ted King and pitched “Love Me Do” to him. King wasn’t fond of the record, but Bennett’s enthusiasm convinced King to play it on “Twelve O’Clock Spin.”

Our next Bennett sighting (and the first to use Bennett as a source) is the aforementioned BBM Issue 70, p.8, published May 1969.

This is part of a piece titled “When did you Switch On?” whose author is unattributed. Whoever they are spoke to Kim Bennett directly. Here’s what we can gather from this piece:

Kim Bennett was Sid Colman’s assistant

Colman “had quite a job to persuade George Martin to see the Beatles”

Bennett, presumably, was in the room when Colman “first heard the Beatles’ tapes”, since Bennett is able to relate what Sid Colman said on the matter

Colman decided to call Martin because he did not have a similar-sounding pop group, while the other EMI A&R men did

Bennett next crops up in several of Bill Harry's books, starting in 1982. Bill Harry is the founder of Mersey Beat and was an art school chum of John and Stu's; he's written a number of reference books about the Beatles, including The Beatles Encyclopedia, The John Lennon Encyclopedia, and The Book of Beatle Lists, among many others. Four of his books mention Bennett. The information in these books seems to be pulled from the two BBM articles highlighted above - with the possible exception of the last one. The books where Bennett is mentioned include:

The Beatles Who’s Who (1982): An encyclopedia of Beatle people. Bennett does not get his own entry, but he is mentioned in the entry on Sid Colman (p.84). Bennett is said to be Colman’s assistant, and his involvement in “Love Me Do” promotions is noted without detail.

The Ultimate Beatles Encyclopedia (1992): Bennett now gets his own entry (p.84-5). Again, this appears to draw from the Beatles Book articles. More detail is included here than in The Beatles Who’s Who. Bennett is mentioned again in Sid Colman’s entry (p.168). There’s a reference to Colman and Bennett liking the demos for “Love of the Loved” and “Hello Little Girl”, which is not mentioned in BBM above. However, these songs were referenced in relation to Sid Colman in The Beatles Who’s Who, so I think Bennett is just lumped in with Colman here.

Also in the Colman entry, Harry points out two conflicting accounts of the promotion of “Love Me Do.” George Martin wrote in his memoir that Ardmore & Beechwood did “virtually nothing” to promote the song, but Ted King, in BBM Issue 13, said it was Kim Bennett who got him to play the song on “Twelve O’Clock Spin.” This apparent contradiction will be discussed in detail when we deal with Tune In’s version of events, but for now, I’ll say this: it can be true that Kim Bennett did his best to promote 'Love Me Do' and acheived limited success while still falling short of the expectations of George Martin (and, crucially, Brian Epstein).

The Encyclopedia of Beatles People (1997): Bennett has a brief entry (p.45) and is mentioned in Sid Colman’s entry (p.92-93.) The Sid Colman entry includes this quote from Sir Joseph Lockwood about the Beatles’ publishing rights “I don’t blame Sid Coleman [sic], because he published the first two songs without a contract. He wasn’t getting any support from either the record producers or the solicitors.” This quote appears in Ray Coleman’s The Man Who Made The Beatles (1989), seemingly from an interview conducted by Coleman while researching that book.

The Ultimate Beatles Encyclopedia (Revised & Updated, 2001): The entry for Kim Bennett includes the entirety of the entry in the 1992 version with an additional two paragraphs (p.135-6). These paragraphs are emotionally charged and add information not available in the two articles from BBM. After detailing Bennett's involvement in 'Love Me Do' promo, Bill Harry writes,

“It’s ironic that the two people who were so enthusiastic about the Beatles and helped to get them with EMI in the first place were to have George Martin shut the door in their face by suggesting to Brian Epstein that he see Dick James about being their publisher. For one thing, it was Coleman [sic] who, after talking to Brian realized that the only A&R man at EMI who hadn’t rejected the Beatles was George Martin. Apparently, Coleman had a hard job persuading Martin to see Epstein. Even then, Martin wasn’t initially impressed by their sound. He only agreed to a test session at EMI’s No. 3 studio four weeks later, then another three months elapsed before the release of their first single. EMI and Martin weren’t even confident enough to give the Beatles a plug rating. Artists such as Cliff Richard received an ‘A’ plug on EMI’s Radio Luxembourg shows. The lowest was ‘B2’. The Beatles weren’t even given this low plug, EMI gave ‘Love Me Do’ a nil rating. “So Bennett had a hard job pushing the record without EMI using their clout. As a result, Epstein refused Ardmore & Beechwood the future Beatles publishing. Had he done so, the Beatles might have retained the rights to their own songs, and Coleman might have received some acknowledgment for having placed the Beatles into his hands in the first place.”

It’s hard to say whether or not additional information from Kim Bennett made it into this article. Much of this could be pulled from other sources and presented through a negative lens stemming from Dick James’ involvement in the Northern Songs debacle. There are, however, two elements here that are consistent with Bennett’s later accounts that might suggest that he spoke with Bill Harry: (1) the phrasing that George Martin “shut the door” in the face of A&B, rather than Brian Epstein actively seeking out a different publisher and going to George for advice, and (2) the blame placed on George Martin for the Beatles low plug rating. Both new elements, and both inconsistent with certain other versions of events.

In Philip Norman's revised Shout! (2003), there is unambiguous evidence of Kim Bennett's participation.

In the original 1981 release, Sid Colman and A&B are mentioned, but not Bennett; in the revised edition, not only is Kim Bennett present, but the information surrounding him is clearly more than the familiar, regurgitated tale found in Beatles Book Monthly.

Norman doesn’t give citations, so I can’t say conclusively how he got this new information. There may be an interview with Kim Bennett published somewhere that I haven’t come across, though I’m inclined to believe either Norman or one of his research assistants spoke to Kim Bennett directly. The phrase “According to Bennett” appears a few times in Shout! (2003), which reads as if the information is coming directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

Since the revised edition was published in the same year as Lewisohn’s interview with Kim Bennett, I considered that Lewisohn might have shared his information with Norman, and Norman may have rushed an edit. I looked for the exact publication date for the revised edition of Shout!—it was weirdly hard to find—and that put to bed any ideas of Norman cribbing off of Lewisohn’s notes: Pan Macmillan Australia gives the release date as January 9, 2003, several months before Lewisohn interviewed Bennett.

The Contract Story, as presented in the revised Shout! starts in the usual way: Brian gets an acetate made from the Beatles’ demo tape, the technician likes it and puts Brian in touch with Sid Colman, who works for A&B upstairs. Colman is interested in publishing the original Lennon-McCartney numbers. Then Kim Bennett enters the picture (Norman 2003, p.164-5):

Bennett likes the disc, too, and suggests they record the Beatles independently in the for-hire studio below their Oxford Street office. Colman takes Bennett’s idea to Len Wood, managing director at EMI, but it goes against protocol, and Wood won’t allow it. Only then does Colman put Brian in touch with George Martin. Colman and Brian have a “gentlemen’s agreement” that A&B will get the Lennon-McCartney publishing rights if they get a contract with George M.

It’s a short passage, but there are already a few problems here. First, the timeline doesn’t make sense. Most early accounts have Brian’s meeting with George M. occurring the day after Sid Colman hears the tapes (see A Cellarful of Noise, The Beatles (1968), and All You Need Is Ears). The largest gap is given by Lewisohn’s Chronicle (p.53-55), in which Epstein is said to have met Colman “around February 8” (a Thursday), with the Epstein-Martin meeting occurring on Tuesday, February 13. The Epstein-Martin meeting date seems to be pulled from George Martin’s date book (he has a meeting with a “Bernard Epstein” on that date), but I’m unsure what brought Lewisohn to the February 8 conclusion. Based on other information in the Chronicle, my best guess is either a meeting between Colman and Martin on February 9th, or a letter sent to Decca by Epstein on February 10th stating he had secured a recording contract. Whether or not he had met with Colman, Epstein certainly hadn’t secured a recording contract on that date – it was purely bluster, a kiss-off to Decca.

Regardless, even if Epstein met Colman on February 8th rather than February 12th, that’s a narrow window of time for Bennett’s story to occur. Rather than trying to place the group with an A&R man at EMI, Colman does nothing until his assistant suggests they record the Beatles themselves. This is unorthodox. A large part of the job of music publishers, as I’ve said above, is to pitch songs to A&R men to get them recorded. In this case, they’d be pitching a group along with the songs, but it seems strange that they wouldn’t try to work their contacts at all before making the jump to DIY. Still, let’s assume that happens. Colman takes the idea to Len Wood. Len Wood’s office at the time was probably at EMI House in Manchester Square, which isn’t far from A&B’s Oxford Street location, so assuming Len Wood had an open schedule, and Colman felt a high enough degree of urgency to immediately take Bennett’s idea to the managing director, I suppose it’s possible that Colman took Bennett’s idea to Wood, was immediately shut down, and then called Epstein back in to set up a meeting with George Martin if we assume Epstein’s first meeting with Colman happened on the 8th rather than the 11th. Still, it seems odd to me that these events wouldn’t turn up in Epstein’s account – getting shut down by the managing director of EMI Records is sort of a big deal, and would add to the drama of the everyone-rejected-them-but-George-Martin-story.

The other big issue here is that this version of events contradicts Bennett’s account from 1969. Rather than simply overhearing Colman’s conversation with Epstein and subsequent persuasion of George Martin, Bennett now has a more active, central role. He’s not driving the story, but he now gives a version of events in which he’s one of the Beatles’ earliest champions. I don’t think it’s unfair to consider that Bennett’s increased involvement in the story might indicate an interest in being more than a footnote in Beatles’ history.

Bennett is mentioned again during the promotions of ‘Love Me Do’ (p.182-3):

Bennett secures some airtime on Two-Way Family Favourites by “repeatedly nagging a radio producer friend.” This is not the same radio show mentioned in Beatles Book Monthly Issue 13 (above), but it’s in keeping with Bennett’s role as a plugger—and that’s where Bennett’s involvement ends in Shout! (2003). There’s one more tantalizing mention of Brian’s “gentlemen’s agreement” with Colman, which he breaks due to his dissatisfaction with A&B, turning to George Martin for publishing advice.

There you have it: Kim Bennett’s evolving story pre-Tune In. It starts as a bit of extra detail that fits inside the greater framework of the Beatles’ Contract Saga, and, after thirty years, morphs into something that contradicts Bennett’s earlier version and the many other accounts of the same events. Things will get even stickier once we get to Tune In. But first...

Section 4: Why Does It Matter?

I can think of three explanations for why Lewisohn pitched Bennett as an unheard witness when he had, in fact, gone on the record before, and none of these explanations helps the credibility of the story.

Explanation 1: Neither Lewisohn nor Bennett knew about Bennett’s previous statements on the matter. This would be extremely damning for Bennett’s reliability, as it would mean he had forgotten both his 1960s statement to Beatles Book Monthly (plausible) as well as the interview that led to the information included in Shout! (concerning). This scenario also requires Lewisohn to be unaware of the above Bennett appearances, which doesn’t reflect well on his abilities as a researcher. If you find someone who you think has never been on record, you might want to at least look him up in the glossary of books by major Beatle authors.

Explanation 2: Bennett knew; Lewisohn didn’t. Perhaps Kim Bennett either neglected to inform Lewisohn of his past interviews, or outright lied to him on the matter. Lewisohn says that Bennett is “known for a dogged persistency” (Lewisohn 2013, p.571), has said that Bennett “just picks something up and he will not let it go,” (Let It Roll 2020, ~25:50), that he is “very insistent about things” and by the time Lewisohn interviewed him, “was a very frustrated man because no one had ever paid him the attention that he felt was his due.” (Nothing Is Real S7Ep7) Could this tenacity and feeling of entitlement to a part of the Beatles’ legacy have led Bennett to present himself as a bigger scoop than he really was? Might he have sold Lewisohn a tale of exclusivity and, perhaps, a version of the Contract Story more salacious and headline-grabbing than the truth?

Again, this explanation also hinges on the idea that Lewisohn was in the dark about Bennett’s prior interview(s), which is a huge oversight, but not as damning as explanation 3.

Explanation 3: Lewisohn knew and lied. Whether Bennett told Lewisohn outright that he had been interviewed in the past or if Lewisohn came upon that information in his research, Lewisohn chose to portray his interview with Bennett as exclusive. Perhaps this was purely to make his “scoop” seem juicier. Perhaps he was reluctant to give Philip Norman credit for finding Bennett first – there seems to be no love lost between Lewisohn and his former employer. Or perhaps Lewisohn knew that Bennett’s prior accounts made the story told in Tune In less credible. The early anecdote related in BBM already conflicted with the revised version in Shout! – if Bennett’s account, as related in Tune In, presented further inconsistencies, it would undermine Lewisohn’s major finding.

I’ll close with a segment from one of the better Lewisohn interviews I’ve heard. It’s from Ken Michaels’ radio show ‘Every Little Thing’, conducted in ~2013, and it’s one of the rare instances where an interviewer gives Lewisohn any pushback or asks follow-up questions regarding some of his more explosive claims. It’s an uncomfortable listen – Ken Michaels even appeared in the comments of this YouTube channel to counter claims that he has beef with Lewisohn– but satisfying to hear some meaningful questions when so many people are content to simply deify Lewisohn. Here's the relevant exchange:

youtube

KM: Aren’t there also problems with certain people that you’ve interviewed that have played some part in Beatle history that want to really elevate their status?

ML: Oh yeah, oh yeah, and it’s up to authors to ensure that they don’t get what they want. And there are unfortunately too many authors who just very happily take the stuff they’re given without challenging it. You’ve got to challenge all these things. And unless something completely fits into the framework of the story, you can’t use it.

Next time, on Days of Our Lies: the Classic Version of the Contract Story, and why Mark Lewisohn is so intent on debunking it. After that, we’ll finally look at the Contract Story as portrayed in Tune In.

Sources:

Cockcroft S, Carty J. 2023 Feb 14 [conducted 2023 Jan]. Nothing Is Real – Season 7 Episode 7 – Mark Lewisohn Returns [podcast, season 7, episode 7]. Nothing Is Real. 1:17:15. Available from: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5mtbNIreAY0Car6VASuZGV?si=b1e322e001a347e3

Coleman R. 1989. The Man Who Made the Beatles: An Intimate Biography of Brian Epstein. New York (NY): McGraw-Hill Publishing Company. 400p. Accessed online 2024 Mar 19. Available from: https://archive.org/details/manwhomadebeatle00cole/mode/2up

Kelly D. 2014 Jul 30. Setting the Record Straight: Interview with Beatles biographer Mark Lewisohn. Critics at Large. Accessed 2024 Mar 4. Available online: https://www.criticsatlarge.ca/2014/07/setting-record-straight-interview-with.html

Kozinn A. 2013 Dec 27. Tune In, and Turn On the Reading Light. ArtsBeat: New York Times Blog [accessed 2024 Feb 6]. Available from: https://archive.nytimes.com/artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/12/27/tune-in-and-turn-on-the-reading-light/?_r=0

Lewisohn M. 1992. The Complete Beatles Chronicle. New York(NY): Barnes & Noble Books. 365p. Accessed online 2024 Mar 14. Available from: https://archive.org/details/completebeatlesc0000lewi/mode/2up

Lewisohn M. 2013. 1st U.S. Edition. The Beatles: All These Years Vol. 1: Tune In. New York (NY): Crown Archetype. 932p.

Lichtman I [editor]. 1965 Apr 24. Great Britain. Cash Box XXVI(40); International Section p.45. Accessed online 2024 Mar 18. Available from: https://archive.org/details/cashbox26unse_31/page/44/mode/2up

Lichtman I [editor]. 1965 Jun 5. Great Britain. Cash Box Vol.XXVI(46); International Section p.55. Accessed online 2024 Mar 13. Available from: https://archive.org/details/cashbox26unse_37/mode/2up

Lichtman I [editor]. 1965 Jul 24. Great Britain. Cash Box Vol. XXVI(53); International Section p.53. Accessed online 2024 Mar 13. Available from: https://archive.org/details/cashbox27unse/mode/2up

Lichtman I [editor]. 1967 Jul 22. Overlooking South Africa. Cash Box Vol.XXVIII(52); International Section p.65. Accessed online 2024 Mar 13. Available from: https://archive.org/details/cashbox28unse_50/mode/2up

Martin G, Hornsby J. 1979. All You Need is Ears. New York (NY): St. Martin’s Griffin. 293p.

Martland P. 1997. Since Records Began: EMI: The first 100 years. London: B.T. Batsford Ltd. 359p. Accessed online 2024 Mar 17. Available from: https://archive.org/details/sincerecordsbega0000mart/mode/2up

Michaels K. 2013. Mark Lewisohn interview [radio broadcast episode]. The Beatles – Every Little Thing. Originally aired on XM Radio. 1:53:18. Available from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjAUtngSoKc

Parnes S [editor]. 1958 Jul 26. Ardmore & Beechwood Open London Office. Cash Box Vol. XIX(45); p.34. Accessed online 2024 Mar 18. Available from: https://archive.org/details/cashbox19unse_43/page/34/mode/2up

Southall B, Perry R. 2006. Northern Songs: The True Story of The Beatles Song Publishing Empire. London: Omnibus Press. 218p. Accessed online 2024 Mar 13. Available from: https://archive.org/details/northernsongstru0000sout/mode/2up

*Wicks D. 1998. Updated 2012. The Ballad Years: From the Bombs to the Beatles: a Directory and Discography of British Popular Music-makers from 1945-1960. Accessed online 2024 Mar. Available from: https://archive.org/details/theballadyears/Book%20Contents/

Wilcox N. 2020 Apr 27. How The Beatles Got Signed [podcast, season 7]. Let It Roll. 57:21. Available from: https://dcs.megaphone.fm/PAN2878353172.mp3?key=5204cb23c38410bae94e208461239e2d&request_event_id=e800ecea-9c5e-40f2-90e3-dad820306501

Images from The Ballad Years and Cash Box 1967 Jul 22

*The Ballad Years by Don Wicks was originally published circa 1998 (by a company called In Tune International, of all things!) There is some great contextual info included at the Internet Archive link; to condense it here, after the original print run of the book, Don Wick continued to update the book, primarily to reflect the death of artists. He distributed these via Microsoft Word Document, and the 2012 version of these documents was uploaded to the Internet Archive. I believe that is the reason for “The Barry Sisters” being plastered across Kim Bennett’s face – the pages including artists’ pictures have very wonky formatting.

#mark lewisohn #the beatles #tune in #kim bennett #sid colman #ardmore & beechwood #it's TOO LONG but what can ya do #bless you if you read this whole thing

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ask-the-invincible-crew · 1 year

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Snitches get stitches, Burt.

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gifti3 · 1 month

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The way they have asmos fits in the 5th boxes

#celestial blessing? more like stabbing you 250 times #i shouldnt expect much from a gacha game #but if ur gonna make a whole new game....good to try something new you know #almost done with set A #id have to get hella lucky to get to box 5 for set B #on the brightside i barely touch the rhythm games anymore so ig its not that big of a loss #anyways has anyone read the event story yet #im probably gonna read it on stream last minute #so theres that #maybe its good #.....#hopefully solmare doesnt like take it down #i feel like they dont want us sharing things from the game tbh #obey me nightbringer #obey me asmodeus #ik hes not the only one in the 5th boxes #but i have tunnel vision #its a miracle when i acknowledge the rest of the cast for more than 1 minute

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bumblingbabooshka · 8 months

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The Doctor turning into women and having romantic dalliances with men is every kind of queer...to me.

#EMH (pretending to be B'Elanna after having just SPRINTED down the hall): You wouldn't shoot a pregnant woman would you ??;;#Tuvok: (in the most 'give it up' tone possible) ...Come with Me doctor =_=#Tuvok gets docked points for falling for the ol' 'cough cough im sick' excuse but gains them all back by getting suspicious and starting #an investigation all on his own in the background <3 #Also Janeway being held captive and being just kinda pissed about the whole situation...yeah #HEHEHE I like this episode it's funny but also the stakes are high #Janeway sort of smirking and doing the 'come here' motion when that alien man was like 'do you know how to fix this?' - her swag.....#Janeway (captive and stressed beyond belief about the warp core): Yeah I have time to serve dom vibes #Tuvok - Chakotay - Janeway: Each having uniquely bad days #(Worst Security disaster ever - Got put in a morgue for hours - Held captive and threatened with death: + Voyager stranded)#I know Chakotay was unconscious for the morgue thing but still #Chakotay: -opens his eyes to see Tuvok standing there-#(they share a look like 'yeah it's some LIFE THREATENING scooby doo bullshit again')#Hey Chakotay maybe next time don't tell the imposter that you know they're an imposter right to their face <3 #Just some tactical strategy for next time <3 <- I love him I'm just being a bitch HEHEHE it was funny to me #Doctor: Hey I know we're in the middle of a serious thing here but like. Why don't we. You know. Hang out???#Janeway: -sharp intake of breathe- ......ohhhh I don't really...DO hanging out.#YAY NAR~!!!!! GET HIS ASS~!!!#Nar I hope you live a simple but fulfilling life as a junk dealer or whatever it is you were talking about god bless <3 #Doctor: Now that I might die I have some last requests v_v Captain...throw my diary away. DO NOT. READ IT. Tuvok...I told Neelix about that #rash you got on your ass. We laughed about it for weeks. Sorry.#and then I smile and giggle and ass 'ass rash' to the Tuvok lore #SNRKEHEHE DAMN. HE GOT HARRY TOO???#'Sorry I said you sucked absolute shit at playing the saxophone. I should have phrased it more delicately...damn it. It all becomes so clea #when you face the end.' (Harry: You said w hat????) SEVEN-!!#Seven: Stay over there computer boy =_=#SNRKEHEHEHHEHHAHAHAH #Janeway:....Is he...? / B'Elanna: NO. I've got him =_= I just deleted all that spam. He's FINE.#livetweeting

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ichthyorelationships · 5 months

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ideas: i didn't really think of him being underwater but they deserve to have drama by crying there too so i just think you could say something about the composition being denser than water or w/e. proteins

i'm always like good thing he didn't try to exit asap via swimming in ciao alberto But What If He Did lol. just swim Somewhere else along the coast, maybe panic about [money??] & whether somehow this ruins school for luca, whether he can get in touch w/o it being On Sight b/w him & all marcovaldos, consider just kind of trying out other places, traveling after all...fascinating considering the other povs on the issue like: now there's the paguros to sympathize w/a kid vanishing, luca however in a somewhat more novel position there, giulia's throwback to alberto being a bit perplexing lmao, kind of thinking the best massimo could do is have a prewritten letter for luca to give to alberto If Possible, conveying something like i know you didn't set my livelihood on fire on purpose but even if you did i'd want you to stay. and luca in a position to do all of "maybe give the island fun facts so someone can check if he's there" & "wait & hope alberto can/does get in touch" & "have a lot of feelings"....not even the context of what this drawing is about necessarily, just tacking it on here anyways. ahead of time i went "heh now i Know they're gonna have it get little Real here b/c it's really about alberto wanting the security of feeling he can 'earn' a sustained relationship" then the short cleared & i was lying completely dead on the pavement

#luca 2021 #pixar luca #alberto scorfano #love when like ''yeah ofc you Could guess approx what would happen; b/c of The Themes & things following them''#but then like of course it still manages to Surprise. feels apt when like ppl doing some savvy media analysis can Guess along w/the film #like oh we're gonna fight here we might have our secret revealed here yep. then get caught off guard by alberto but 110% surprised by luca #even as ofc it all makes sense & is cohesive w/those Themes that have been unfolding; not just breaking w/the material to Surprise us #but still unpredictable. the whole movie being so vignettey (god bless. i live) allowing for a lot of that too like just Stuff Can Happen #someone can guess alberto's dad is not in the picture really but you could think oh he's been killed by humans. No lol...#or massimo lost an arm to sea monsters. but no. oh my god & this is how i realize i didn't draw alberto's arm scar hang on lol #okay there it is. here we go gays (me turning in for some rest at 8:15 am)#oh i read this picture book in the internet archive abt like A Parent Expressing Unconditional Love via conversation w/a child. hang on #''even if i did something awful'' by barbara shook hazen; i did think of it here. let me obtain a quote for effect...#[but what if i did something really truly awful?] [like what?] [like playing ball in the living room after you told me not to & breaking #the vase daddy gave you for your birthday even if i didn't mean to & it was an accident? would you still love me then?]#[i love you so much i'd love you if you Did mean to & it wasn't an accident. / but i might also be mad & yell things like 'i've told you a #thousand times!' & 'this is the last straw!' & 'i've had it with your disobeying!' & send you to your room with no dessert... / ...& cry a #little & pick up the pieces.] [i'll help.] [but i still love you no matter what; no matter how mad; no matter how awful. & i always will.]#so long as it's commitment to Actual support which; massimo already On That even before realizing like oh bereft And you're of the sea.....

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crimeronan · 11 months

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i keep habitually opening my email on the off chance i have new ao3 commints even tho it's been several weeks since i uploaded anything & then. remembering.

#ao3 #life hack though. if you never delete any of your emails then you still have your whole constellation of nice ao3 feedback #corkboard-scattered thru there. gotta compile a new document of nice things people have said that make me cry #please know if u have ever left a fic comment u make me warm inside.#sometimes people will be like 'ok it's embarrassing for me to comment weeks after this was uploaded when i shoulda read it right away but-'#NO IT'S NOT YOU'RE SO NICE TO ME. FIC EXISTS TO PERUSE IN UR LEISURE TIME AND COMMENTS WEEKS IN THE FUTURE EXTEND MY LIFESPAN #if you comment weeks after i upload something u have a pretty good chance of catching me mid-flare which is when i need the kindness and #validation the most. so.#anyway. miss u babygirl hope ur back soon god bless our troops (the ao3 volunteers)

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ardate · 5 months

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Your top 3 songs of this year?

Those are always so difficult but, nonetheless. Here's three songs I discovered this year that throttled me (/pos). We're going crescendo, starting off strong and ending with my most favoritest of this year.

Greta Van Fleet - Stardust Chords A friend has bestowed upon me the grand gift of the discovery of Greta Van Fleet via their album The Battle at Garden's Gate. It is, undoubtedly, an album that works extremely well as a unit, and its power is such that it convinced even my friends who aren't into listening to full albums that this one was worth the trouble. Musically, there is a lot of inspirations from classic rock of the 70s, obvious to those well acquainted with that genre, but of course much modernized to end up with an incredibly clean and refined sonority in the end that truly elevates it to new heights. Stardust Chords is for me one of the brightest highlights of this incredible piece of art, with those soaring vocals that grip your bones and send you ascending with them. -

Këkht Aräkh - Wanderer Is there any surprise? The ukrainian songwriter shook everyone with his sudden inclusion of rap-like diction and rhythm within his new song, clearly apparent in his music video that mixes classic rap moves within traditional BM aesthetic - and all of it, song and video, enshrined within his usual romantic melancholy as he sings about love and loneliness, as always. And it is masterful, and deeply moving. -

Les Chants de Nihil - Clarté de la Pluie Of course, I already rambled about this one in past posts: this is my absolute favourite discovery of this year. I had explored their discography in the past ('Là où nous étions les rois' being my fav song of theirs for a bunch of years now), but somehow had never taken the time to check out that particular album, and. What a punch in the chest. This album (namely, La Liberté Guidant le Fer) is a unique masterpiece that works at its best as a Whole, but still, I cherrypick this specific song because it carries itself strongly on its own. It sweeps you into the wet streets of an unknown city, under pouring rain - and as the singer, overtaken with old age, screams about his upcoming end and his willingness to meet it in peace, you're left with your heart bleeding through your chest.

BONUS (More like I originally wrote this one for the first of the list and then remembered about Greta Van Fleet but didn't want to delete all my good writing talking about this cool band so i'm giving it to you here):

Hypno5e - Acid Mist Tomorrow Discovered this band in february of this year with the release of their newest album, Sheol, but if I had to share one song it'd be this one - Acid Mist Tomorrow, introduction to the album of the same name from 2011. It's also an excellent introduction to the band as a whole, I believe, because of its concentration of their signature sounds - the sudden, brutal, heavy metal phases, intercut with soft and tender light guitar adorned with voice samples, only for it to start and stop and start again, like a pulsating energy. If you're not shy in the face of experimental sounds, you might appreciate Hypno5e's grandiose and complex artistry.

#hypno5e #kekht arakh #les chants de nihil #greta van fleet #black metal #music #asks #mine #god. i rambled didnt i #who the hell will even read this random music infodump. this kinda post pertains to basically only its writers doesnt it #i just. love music so much man. i'm so so normal about music #and LOOK there isnt only metal!!! *points at greta van fleet*#and there's ONLY two black metal bands. i'm regular #ok but i poured my soul in this holy shit hbHGBHGB #if you read through this whole thing you get that double sim relationships improvement check thing with me #TYSM for this ask anon this is everything to me. yall blessed me with those asks <3

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linaxart · 1 year

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My process of my last piece, for @theartguard sharing week

References credit, from left to right:

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

#gradientprocess #the old guard #yusuf al-kaysani #tog #artists on tumblr #if you actually read this whole thing bless you #because it got waaaay longer than i planned #sorry to spam the tag #btsing

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kyouka-supremacy · 2 years

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please talk more about chuuaku

Brain empty no thoughts only chuuaku. It's so good!!! It's hard to pin down one reason why I like them, but I'm just... Very attracted by how realistic the ship feels. Allow me to elaborate: they're very different. They're not different as in “we perfectly complement each other”, they're not different in “we're opposite but we're actually the same and no one gets you like I do”. They're just different. They do NOT understand each other. They have different backgrounds and different experiences and different personalities. They didn't hate each other on sight, for a while they just kind of existed in the same environment. And that's so appealing for me!! It's so good because that's... Something that actually happens. That's part of their charm for me, because people in real life don't really come in perfect sets of oddly specific complimentary designs or 21 cm of height difference or suspiciously resembling mythical enemy creatures from eastern mythology; but people do happen to work at the same work place, maybe to start hanging out more, maybe to start falling for each other. I just find it very sweet! About that, I really like the aspect that since they don't understand reach other, there's the compelling necessity to getting to know each other. I feel like that isn't something that's there with s/kk and ss/kk: with those pairs it's usually this weird mix of hate at first sight and understanding each other like no one else does. With chuuaku, Akutagawa and Chuuya are just different: that means for them there needs to be an actual, mutual effort to understand the other. I like to think about them eventually going through a phase of the kind “I realize this person isn't what I initially thought of them. As it turns out, the idea I had of them was so far from reality, I could as well have never known them at all. Suddenly, for reasons I can't explain, I feel like I want to get to know them”; and it's SO compelling. The growing closer!! The growing together. Like where the other ships are just pushing each other's buttons all the time and usually bringing out the worst out of each other, I feel like Akutagawa and Chuuya could really bring the best out of each other. It's not the constant angst of getting together and breaking up s/kk have going on (which I understand has its own appeal!), but sometimes it's nice when a person can unequivocally be your safe place, you know? Instead of constant mistrust and doubt and fear of being left, just. a person you can fully trust they will always have your back. Having found each other in a world that has made both of them suffer so much so long, and being happy together? Finding happiness together? Idk, I just find it really sweet. At this point, I'm pretty much the “what your favorite x ship says about you” girl going “You just want the best for Akutagawa and Chuuya, and really, who doesn't?”, but isn't that true?? They deserve each other, they deserve a break after everything the world threw at them.

But then again, it's not just a matter of what I want for them, I truly believe they're compatible! Just not in the “soulmates perfectly crafted to be together” way, but in a more realistic way, which again is arguably even more appealing? It's the “Soulmates aren't found, they're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship” thing. I like the graduality of the whole thing. I like the falling in love slowly and unintentionally. In my headcanon, Akutagawa and Chuuya weren't in good terms for a very long time, up to at least when Dazai left. I like to think they didn't know each other past their own reputations - I doubt they had many occasions to interact - and just kinda vaguely disliked each other: on Akutagawa's end lied a slightly stronger dislike, given he most definitely didn't like Chuuya as someone who constantly insulted and disrespected Dazai-san and someone Dazai himself wasn't in appearance very fond of (to be fair, there's probably quite a few things in the world 16 or something y/o Akutagawa didn't deeply hate or was angry at) (also, now that I think about it, young Akutagawa was probably jealous of how close Dazai and Chuuya were, as well as of Chuuya being Dazai's partner). On Chuuya's side, I can imagine him not really disliking Akutagawa, but probably being sorta pissed at him for how frequently he made a mess in his missions, his whole kill-kill main-maim attitude, plus lowkey disapproving the whole Dazai idolization thing. Meaning there's so much space for growth starting from there, and that's so appealing, especially after Dazai left the pm! They probably both felt lost and betrayed for their own reasons at that point, and if I don't think they mourned together in the immediate aftermath (though the concept is sweet on its own), I think that has the potential of having brought the two of them closer. Like *this* is the first time when, unexpectedly, they suddenly started understanding each other; because they were going through the same pain. In a way or the other, Dazai was a very close person to both of them who also hurt them beyond words; the moment he left, they were to each other the only person that could understand what they were going through.

But there's potential even besides that tbh? I just want... Akutagawa and Chuuya who are changed and matured some time after Dazai left, and happen to spend time with each other because of a mission or something (will probably get more chances to work together after Akutagawa was promoted. Idk. indulge me on this), and both realizing they're actually so different from the idealized version they had made of each other. And that actually the other isn't so bad after all. And that actually spending more time with them would be nice. And that actually they would like to learn more about the other. I come back to the very initial point, everything about them has the potential to have such a natural and realistic development (as much as a bsd ship can be natural and realistic), and sorry for being a basic broke 21 y/o student but tbh there's literally nothing more romantic than having a stable job and falling in love on the work place with someone who also has a stable job and having no financial trouble and also coming home to the person you love like. Idk about you but that's literally the dream, don't you ever want a break from the endless s/kk angst or ss/kk being a literal tragedy?

And besides everything, their personalities truly DO feel compatible to me!! And really it's not the “we're so compatible we keep clashing with each other”, it's the “we actually work well together”. I'm thinking about Chuuya doing most of the speaking and Akutagawa being a good listener even if he doesn't talk a lot. Chuuya actually enjoying Akutagawa's silent company: Chuuya liking how, compared to most people he interacts with at the pm, Akutagawa's not really afraid to speak his mind, and the few times he talks he WILL be blunt; Chuuya cherishes that. I'm thinking about Akutagawa learning to love and to be loved through Chuuya. I'm thinking about them being the only safe place for each other, this stable island in a world that has hurt them so much they know won't betray them. I'm thinking about them talking about pm matters at home and having this loving and domestic life both of them oh so deserve. I'm thinking about their eyes imperceptibly lighting up and their respective days being made whenever they stumble across each other at work. I'm thinking about THEM

(Side note, but I need domestic chuuaku with Akutagawa complaining about Atsushi– you know, the usual “I hate that Jinko so much, he's so incredibly stupid and unbelievably hypocrite, annoying and weak”, the usual Akutagawa being unable to stop talking about Atsushi 24/7 EXCEPT THIS TIME HE'S ACTUALLY HONEST and not tsunderely complaining about him like he would realistically do in every other universe. A weird universe where Akutagawa is GENUINELY pissed at Atsushi and it's not... Really hate anymore and more of huge annoyance towards this dude you keep having to work with. Akutagawa complaining to Chuuya over dinner in the lines of “Dazai paired me up again with Jinko” “What a bitch” because no more existential dread, THAT'S the kind of light-hearted daily issues I want them both to have.)

And like for chuuaku to exist automatically implies such a big character development for Akutagawa one can't help but love!! Like all Akutagawa ships are inherently beautiful and perfect for their added value of bring to the picture Akutagawa, the most cruel and ruthles and especially emotionless character, being able to feel love. It's just a bonus win from the start lmao. But I feel chuuaku additionally must involve an Akutagawa who's grown and healed past his several mentor complexes which is... A lot, and it's very heartwarming? Akutagawa dating Chuuya, who is superior to him in hierarchy and most likely in fight power, but doing so peacefully because he's long let go of his fixations over demonstrations of power / his perception of power being an indicator of your value as a human being. AND and also Akutagawa dating his ex-mentor's most despised person, letting go of his obsession with Dazai and belief that Dazai is infallible and never wrong: in a way, Akutagawa finally and resolutelly disowning Dazai as his mentor– and without replacing him with a new one, because he doesn't need to be guided anymore, because he's master of his own fate!! Overall Akutagawa becoming a calmer, more loving, more mature person. Good for him. That's also why I can see them getting together only after some time– because the ship speaks of a big growth in their characters, a growth they can go through together, and that is undeniably fun to explore. It would also be nice if Chuuya fell first and Akutagawa second, for a change. I mean, Chuuya seems at least a little more conscious of his own feelings, while Akutagawa definitely took years, years, to get over his twisted feelings for Dazai. And Chuuya's feelings for Dazai are just as complex as Akutagawa's, but seriously I think part of him must have been happy to finally let Dazai go, even if that hurt; because Dazai definitely hurt Chuuya a lot, but I feel like at least Chuuya was more conscious about how much it damaged him compared to Akutagawa. And that's such a juicy aspect, navigating through their own feelings for Dazai alone and together.

But seriously most of everything it's the whole feeling of being SAFE of the ship. I think I use that word a lot when talking about chuuaku, but it's literally all it's about for me. It's knowing you can rely on someone. It's knowing there's someone who will always protect you (I mean, they're two of the most powerful pm operatives, they're bound to feel safe with each other). But it's also the knowing the other would never betray them like they've been betrayed in the past!! There's this specific certainty to this ship that the other person would never abandon them I feel other ships (s/kk and ss/kk) could hardly have, and it's so unspeakably nice. I want them both to feel protect and safe, and it's the kind of final happiness and domesticity only them can give each other. And it's GREAT.

Tl; dr: Chuuaku has so much to offer and it's so different compared to the classic s/kk / ss/kk dynamics and although I get it's not everyone's cup of tea it is MY cup of tea and I WILL proceed to stan them untill I die.

#Aaaaand post every time I reread this I add a new paragraph it literally became unmanageable #The fun part is. I could talk about them more #Like there's a whole Chuuya paragraph I had to cut simply because I didn't know where to insert it #I know this ask is old thank you for your patience Op!!! It was a very stressful week *runs away crying*#chūya nakahara #ryūnosuke akutagawa #chuuaku #Tbh as I finished reading this I realized the ship not being popular may not have much to do with the ship itself–#but may be more on the fact that they have no canon interactions?#Although it's hard to tell‚ maybe people just like angst and enemies to lovers more.#Besides although there's no canon interaction... Official anime keeps chuuaku fans really fed uh.#The picnic one is absolutely blessed like it's seriously adorable instant melting every time I look at him.#The one with Chuuya giving HIS MOST PRECIOUS THING (his hat) to Akutagawa. The one one picture we have of Akutagawa smiling in promo art #(and arguably the only picture of him in the anime art style smiling EVER if we outlaw creepy fight grins)#being of him looking at Chuuya wtf??????#bsd #bungou stray dogs #people asks me stuff #BESIDES THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK IT KEPT ME BUSY THE WHOLE WEEK BUT I LOVED IT #mine #I occasionally brought up s/kk and ss/kk in this but it wasn't really to say chuuaku is better but rather to underline in what–#it's different compared to the other ships. It's literally just a matter of tastes and all of them ships are good!#I mean I think it goes without saying I like ss/kk ahah #Wow I sure really like words and using words and putting letters together to express thoughts

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