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#been going on irl and i know i say that all the time but i mean particularly right now.
libraryraccoon · 2 days
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A Raccoon in Twisted Wonderland ?
Gender : Raccoon
Pronouns : Raccoon
Infos : You're a raccoon. A real raccoon. That's it, that's the story. TW : Rook, bad english, english isn't my first language.
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You were a normal raccoon, well normal, you had the power to speak in human language and to be smart.
These were the only powers, the only magic, you had, so imagine your shock when you found yourself at the NRC, the Black Mirror choosing you to be a student.
“BUT I DIDN’T EVEN APPLY ?!” -Raccoon!Reader, when a confused Crowley explained the raccoon situation.
Grim was jealous.
You, a fucking raccoon whose only magic was human language and intelligence, had been chosen but not him ?! Jealousy.
Grim became your rival without being asked, literally trying to be better than you at everything, while you didn't even acknowledge his existence-
You are in Savanaclaw, the only real raccoon there is in Savanaclaw.
When Leona and Ruggie started their plan in Book 2, you knew about it too.
They didn't tell you about it, no, you just had heard everything one day.
"You know this can lead to serious problems ? Like broken limbs ?" -Raccoon!Reader, on Leona's bed.
“Well, the nurse- WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE, FUCKING THIEF ?!” -Leona not having seen you arrive.
He give you money in exchange of your silence.
You are known at the NRC for stealing anything and everything, from money to trash passing by student and teacher files.
You once stole Crowley's file thinking it was Crewel's... You are the only student who knows his age and his true identity (you say nothing in exchange for him turning a blind eye to the illegal things you do).
You didn't know who Malleus was before the NRC, the reason is simple : no one knows anything about magic in your origin little forest. Magic and anything related to it isn't really something animals care about, so you didn't know it before the NRC.
“Oh, child of, uh, raccoon ?” Malleus suggested, confused about what nickname to give you.
"Kits. A raccoon child is a kits." -Raccoon!Reader.
Underrated friendship : Idia & Raccoon!Reader & Ortho.
You were adopted by the Shroud the moment Idia realized that you were not afraid of him and that you saw Ortho as Ortho and not just a robot.
You let them pet you, especially if one of them (most often Idia) is stressed.
You are Idia's support animal and the reason for his occasional attendance at class IRL.
Every class where Idia goes IRL (which is 3 times a month since you've been here) you accompany him and let him caress/pet you.
Imagine the look on all the 3rd years' faces the first time they saw him go to flight class with you that very first time (it was also the first time of all year he go to a class IRL).
Headcanon that you and Rook had some sort of weird alliance that consisted of you giving each other information on all the students.
A scary duo.
Literally the hunter and the supposedly "prey" teaming up was something no one at the NRC expected. Even less that they give each other information about the students.
Crewel is the one who makes your clothes, whether those for classes or those to use in everyday life, because for him it's not because you are a raccoon that you are obliged to have no style.
Lilia 🤝 Raccoon!Reader : playing jokes on students who didn't ask for anything (especially Sebek).
I like to think that Raccoon!Reader would be friends with all the NRC ghosts, and that they would give him free food.
For Overblots where you have to fight, be aware that you will jump on the Overblotter's face each time unexpectedly. No one knows why you do this, not even you. Your only answer is always “instincts”.
And it's not even just with Overblotters, but with everyone who annoys you.
The nurse is fed up with you, that's canon.
The Black Mirror is maybe the only one (with the Shroud brothers) who doesn't regret having you at the NRC.
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readychilledwine · 1 day
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Rhys w a small reader with a big mouth?
Little Girl, Big Mouth
Rhys with a mouthy reader headcanons
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Warnings - implied smut, reader could be seen as trashy but Rhys loves it
A/n - This anon actually came from an IRL friend. She texted me about it, and I had her clarify if she meant a gossip or big mouth as in a girl who is prone to talking shit and fighting. It was talking shit and fighting, so thanks, Sammie 💕💕
Ps- I will figure out what your username is 👀 but you're very sweet for doing this the way the rest of my followers do instead of just texting me first😭
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You aren't a doormat. He refuses to let you be seen as one. Even if that means you get into a verbal argument here and there.
Those verbal arguments have gotten physical.
My baby daddy always tells me not to write a check he can't cash (if you don't know what that means, it means don't start a fight that he can't finsh.) You don't have that problem with Rhysand.
If you stand, mouth firing off insults as someone else is, he will stand too. Ride or die, he won't let you fight without him.
And that is if the man isn’t already behind you, warning the male standing over you without even having to speak that if he lays a hand on you or speaks out of line, he will be finding out why Rhysand is proud to be half illyrian.
You do know time and place, but if someone insults your male, your family, or your court first, all bets are off.
Your mouth is equal opportunity. High fae, lower, male, female, high lord? You don't care. All bets are off the table with you. No one is safe.
Beron? Constantly roasting him. Asking him if beating his wife helps him feel like a real male. Keir? Verbally torn apart. How pathetic he must be to think he has some pull when he lost out on being high lord.
Hell, illyrian males aren't even safe from you. Not when three immediately are behind you the second they feel your mood change.
And it isn't that you can't fight. You are well trained and can more than hold your own. He just prefers you let him.
He's only held you back once. It was from Amren, and he hardly caught you in time before you jumped on her.
Cassian was disappointed. He wanted to watch two tiny females wrestle it out. He said it would be better if pretty lacy outfits were involved, but he was ready to settle for you in your dress and Amren in her two piece outfit.
Rhys did not stop you, nor Amren, from tackling Cassian for that comment.
He will throw you over his shoulder, ignoring you as you scream for him to put you down while still running your mouth as you're carried out of the room. But only if family is involved.
Mother knows they are no exception. You all get on each other's nerves from time to time. Besides Azriel. You could never fight Azriel.
Rhys loves it. He loves how spicy you are. He loves how much fight and sass you have. He loves how it's always to people who are mean.
He does love fighting for you as well. Sometimes, he asks you to pick fights when it's someone he has been itching to get his hands on.
He rewards you throughly when you oblige him.
"Where's that big mouth now, darling?" While your back is arched off the bed, and your mind is just a haze. "Thought you had so much to say earlier."
He loves making his girl with so much to say and so many opinions go dumb for him.
He loves it when all you can think to say is his name and barely thrown together words.
He loves putting your mouth to other uses if you start in on him, too.
He'd keep you tucked under his desk for hours, putting your mouth towards something actually useful if you two fight.
And that's rare. Your opinions are normally shared and mutual. It's why you two work. Otherwise, you would be constantly at each other's throats with how vocally dominant you both like to be.
Overall, he'd change nothing about how sassy you can be. He loves you as is. Even if it means you bandaging his hands after a trip to Illyria.
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hotwaterandmilk · 2 days
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I just want to take the time to say thank you to everyone who follows this blog and enjoys the scans I post. They're not the best, my posting is sporadic, and I have a lot of things I'd like to share that I still haven't gotten around to loading. Unfortunately between my illness and work, I tend to be limited in the amount of content I can upload and for that I am sorry.
This blog is my way of showing love for (generally) more obscure anime and shoujo manga titles that still linger in my heart after years of fandom. If I had the capacity for meta, fanwork, or translations I'd be sharing those with you as a way of shouting my love for these series from the rooftops.
Since I don't have the talent to do any of those things, I've settled on sharing what I've collected over the last couple of decades. I still love these series (including the not-so-good ones) and it means a lot to me to know that I'm not alone in loving them all these years after they were first released.
A lot has been happening IRL these past few weeks that has left me feeling a bit flat about everything. When I look at what I post on this blog I end up feeling frustrated that I can't do more or be better at this very basic thing I do. But in coming to terms with my IRL limits I'm starting to accept that being a perfectionist with my silly little scanning hobby isn't helping anything.
So, I'm going to keep posting what I can, when I can. And I'll just have fun with all of you lovely people who take the time to interact with me on here. Thanks for the support.
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sophieinwonderland · 2 days
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Questions for Sophie and Ghost. The first one for him: Do you ever feel guilty for identifying with the body and being able to go by your name when your systemmates cannot? In the real world, people get to experience you as yourself but your systemmates can't have that in most circumstances. Now for Sophie: Do these circumstances upset you? How do you cope? Our body's frontrunner always feels bad about this fact. Systemmates have to mask as HER irl for safety reasons because she is in meatspace most of the time and as such people are used to her personality/name/mannerisms/etc. She---and all of us---wish there was a world where we didn't have to hide themselves.
Ghost: I've felt guilty for Soph not getting much time sometimes. But I try not to feel guilt for things that are out of my hands. I feel bad that she doesn't have a body of her own to be part of the world, but not guilt.
Sophie: It is what it is.
To be honest, we don't really have many IRL social ties outside of the family. And that's something we're totally fine with. Maybe our brain is wired weird, but we don't have much desire to make physical friends. Aside from that, I feel my social needs are met on the internet.
There have been times when I wished I could interact with the family a bit. But then, it's my own fears holding me back. The family knows I'm here. And they seem accepting enough. I'm just not comfortable with it. My host has severe social anxiety when dealing with other people, and it feels a bit like I got something like that with his family.
So the only people outside of the system I want to interact with as myself, I could... if I were stronger. But I'm not.
If I'm honest, I sometimes feel like a hypocrite. Because for all the time I spend trying to spread awareness of plurality so that we can eventually get to that world where plurals won't have to hide anymore... I don't think I would be brave enough to be fronting and be myself even then.
But with that said, I think I'm comfortable with how things are for the most part.
...
As for you all, I just want to add that singlets are probably not as observant as you think they are. Even if you have to mask and use her name, unless they know you're plural, you can probably get away with a lot before they notice anything off. And if they do say anything about it, it's easy to brush it off, and they'll probably accept whatever explanation you give. "I'm just not feeling like myself" is a fun one. 😜
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hanafubukki · 2 days
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So Hana; I came across a post talking about unpopular twst opinions and was wondering if you had any.
Hello Violet 🌸💚🌷
I hope it’s okay for me to call you Violet 💚🌷
This is a rather interesting question 🤔 and I had to think on it a bit. I honestly don’t know if some of what I say is unpopular or not, so I guess I’ll express a few of my opinions that I have. ☺️🌺
I guess before I list them I should say that this is my opinion only. I don’t mean to hurt anyone by expressing them nor am I calling out anyone. Literally just my thoughts. You’re allowed to agree or disagree✨✨
Normally, I would assume I wouldn’t have to put a disclaimer such as this because everyone has their own opinions and we should all have an open mind but I’ve seen the internet lol and wowza on how some act to such things lol 🌺🙏
I hate the guest room. Personally, I’m not into that kind of mechanics in gaming. It’s not for me. The fact that we have to do it to level up friendship levels irks me. And it’s a complicated system too which is another annoying aspect. I also kind of blame the guest room function for personal stories being lowered since those have been replaced with furniture. It’s just an extra chore that I’m not really into.
Event wise: I think we have too many octa (+ ortho and ace) in them. My diasomnia bias aside, I don’t think the other characters get enough spotlight. When was the last time Ruggie was in an event? Cater? Riddle? Jack? Kalim? Rook? Deuce? I know octa make them money but still, give the others more spotlight? I don’t count the beach or Halloween event either. Because Halloween, half the cast is in it and beach event was similar. Even New years I don’t count, because eventually, we will get them all in new years outfit. The usually four character events is what I’m speaking of because that’s when you get proper screen time and development for each character. I can literally go on lolol
I don’t know why this would be unpopular but it seems it might be? But I don’t hate RSA. They have a lot of potential story telling wise and their side of things. And I know there’s biasness with NRC and we wanting them to win, but I feel there’s more to RSA than we know. Like how we shouldn’t judge villains, we shouldn’t judge the “heroes” either.
Jp schedule wise I don’t think they are too slow as many believe. I think for the working female class, which the game is aimed at, the scheduling is perfect since it was made for them after all. It gives them time for daily life and twst gaming. Doesn’t mean I don’t get impatient either lolol
On the other spectrum, EN is going too quick. With events and main story. Slow down. What are you trying to accomplish except burn out your fanbase?
I don’t want an anime. We will get one. There’s a high chance and I’ll watch it obviously. But I honestly don’t care for one. The issues that an anime will bring…is a lot.
I don’t think the gameplay is boring. As mentioned before, the game was made for the female working class. So the gameplay is to the point, and depending on the event, can be challenging. But grinding wise and all that? It’s pretty working class friendly. If I didn’t have the auto lessons and battles, I wouldn’t be playing it. It’s because of those mechanics that I am. Thats what stops me from playing many mobile games. The constant forced to play and keep track. Hence part of why I’m not into Hoyoverse games.
I don’t really care for “this place in twst = this place in IRL.” to me, it’s a game in a fantasy world. Is it interesting to see some of the influences? Yes, of course. But that’s it. I’m playing this game for the fantasy setting, the magic, the story, and the characters. I don’t really care to add, realism, I guess you could say? (I’m trying to escape reality okay? Why would I want it in my games?? 🤣🤣)
I wish we had more magic in my magic world. And I think it mainly applies for book 7 for me personally and how “wow, tech is going to beat malleus and save the day” but I kind of wish that isn’t the case. Yes, it makes for fun story telling and memes. But, for a magic based dorm, I want a magic based solution. That and the fact, I don’t care for the implication how magic is slowly being taken over by technology. Kind of hits close to home you know?? With all the AI shenanigans.
I hope two certain popular theories aren’t true and I’ll leave it there. My personally thoughts on them is, I hope it’s not that predictable and I had hoped for a different route for such characters/events.
I’ll stop there before I make a whole essay for you to read lmao 🤣🤣 I have more thoughts that I could share but this is already so long 😆
I don’t know if this was a “unpopular opinion” or more me rambling but I’ll let you decide that Violet 🙏💞☺️
What about you? What are some of your thoughts?
Would love to hear other’s opinions as well ☺️🌺
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devildomwriter · 11 hours
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*TW*- i*cest, r*pe, g*re, p*dophilia, some general discourse
Ok so I am trying to ask this in the most respectful way because I don't wanna snowball this into a huge discourse; but I wonder if you've been seeing the Dark Content Discourse here on Tumblr?
It basically entails that despite your personal preferences, attacking/ demeaning other ppl who create/ consume dark content is a big no no because it's their safe space to be able to explore these topics. This includes all sort of stuff like i*cest, r*pe, g*re and even p*dophilia. Now you may not agree with any of these things, most ppl don't, and they might disgust you; which is totally fine. But there is a huge leap b/w something that is fictional and something that is real.
Fictional characters are literal lines on a paper. Doing anything with a fictional child does not mean you are harming a REAL child. This might still disgust you and that's fine too. You can block that person so you don't have to look at it again but to call everyone like this and start a campaign against them is well...
I just want you to know that I am not defending that person. I didn't even know them at all before this...Neither I am advocating for anything they are saying or confirming/claiming that they are good irl. I don't know them.
I just want you look at this from a different perspective and know your thoughts about this ordeal. Like for one moment step away from your pre-existing feelings and bias and look at this objectively. Everyone likes something that's even a lil problematic, so if we went on these campaigns every time, literally no one will be left in fandom. I don't agree with p*dophilia but I don't agree with this either...AGAIN THIS IS NOT MEANT TO CONDONE ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOUR! But to paint someone as a bad person for things they do in fiction in their safe space no matter how problematic, is somewhat disconcerting.
I again wanna say that this is not any hate against you or anyone else. I don't want to cause any discourse myself . I think you are an amazing writer and a valuable member in our fandom. Which is why it's important to me to hear your stance on this. But if you'd rather not answer this at all that's fine too! :>
I appreciate your perspective and I sometimes enjoy certain dark content as long as they warn others but pedophilia— fictional or not— should never be written/glorified/accepted. If it’s written as a horrible incident or traumatic backstory (like Lolita) then I understand why it’s written but glorifying or romanticizing it in any way is unacceptable.
If no one is left in the fandom after going on these “witch hunts” then the fandom is toxic, preditory, and unsafe.
As for the huge leap between fiction and reality, everything starts as a thought or fantasy. The more you think about it the more likely you are to commit or watch such an act.
Tumblr should under no circumstances be a safe place for pedophiles.
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citrusbusiness · 1 day
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Hey it's time for me to rant about mildly annoying things about society and being aro/ace! (Long post warning)
Okay so when I was eating dinner with my parents today and we were talking about our grandparents for a bit. Specifically, my grandma getting sick, and how my uncle traveling around all the time but living with them did not help that. Anyway then I was thinking about him, because he's unmarried with no kids and so is my other uncle. So then I brought up the fact that I have no first cousins, making my one joke about the topic that I'm the onliest only child ever. And we laughed about it for a bit, but then my mom said something else.
“See that's why –and I feel a bit like Jane Austen saying this– that's why you have to get married”
And my aroace brain already did not like that, but obviously I wasn't going to tell her that because I'm not out?? And then my dad then butted in with a joke about the reason being that the family line would end if I didn't, which annoyed me, but interestingly, my mother brushed that aside.
Instead, she said “because when you get old you won't have any siblings or cousins to help you.”
I... Had not been expecting that. So I sat there, not liking where the conversation had gone but not doing anything about it. I just put it aside to rant about later (this is that) and moved on with my evening
But I've come back to it now.
I'm not mad at my mom for telling me that I have to get married. I'm annoyed at my situation and our society for existing in a way where she's right.
I don't have siblings or cousins I'm close with who could help me. The only people I have are my friends, and who knows if I'll still be friends with them? Also, I have maybe one actually aro friend, all the others are highly likely to get into romantic relationships and maybe have children. They'll have their own people to be taking care of. I'm just going to be lower priority, that's how our society works. Hell, with the internet the way that it is, there's no guarantee that I would even live in the same area as most of my friends.
And this isn't even just an old age thing. What happens if I need a serious surgery? What person, with their own job and family and life, has the time to spend taking care of their friend for an extended period of time? I mean, I might, but I don't have the whole romance thing getting in the way.
I realize that I'm being pessimistic and that I should probably have more faith in both my friends and the way the world works. I'm just frustrated that because we place so much more emphasis on romance than we do friendships, once people start pairing up the friendships get left behind a little bit. I'm frustrated that you could make an argument that I might have to get married, not because I truly want to, but for the sake of my own health and comfort in the future. I'm frustrated that someone can say something as uncomfortable to me as “you have to get married,” and still have a decent point.
Again, I'm being a pessimist and I'm not mad at my mom. Or my dad.
…I need more irl aro friends.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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Hello! I was wondering if you’d be willing to take commissions someday 👀. No pressure tho! I just love your art so much
The short answer: "not at the moment, but it is very possible in the future'!
The slightly longer answer: I would have to figure out a good pricing and payment system! PD-MDZS is also where most of my free time goes, so until my life settles down a bit, I would be on the slow side to complete them.
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oatbugs · 4 months
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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swordsmans · 9 months
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ahhh i really try to keep things Flirty and Fun here, but i just wanted to lower the capitalization to flirty and fun for a moment, because. this is the second day in a row that i have full-on weepy cried irl over comments on my newest fic, and i really, really, really cannot thank you guys enough for the response to it from the absolute bottom of my heart.
fic writing brings me a lot of joy. it's both a creative outlet and a form of escapism. it's also a very intentional challenge i give my brain. yes, fundamentally i'm writing about two anime guys wanting to kiss sooo bad (because they should)—but inevitably i've put little bits of myself into my stories, as well. my little vulnerable insides that i sometimes struggle to look at directly. you know, regular artist stuff. it's hard not to, because all stories come from the heart (even fanfic).
i stopped writing for myself for many years, and i have only just returned to it this year for various reasons. the response from everyone has been absolutely overwhelming, even from day one. i'm not always the best at responding to messages or comments fast (or even at all, depending on the day) but i read everything. tags, bookmarks, ao3 comments, dms, inbox messages—all of it. i have screenshots saved in case anyone deletes anything. i go back and revisit things over and over again. every single kudos or like brings me joy.
i cannot overstress how much i love and cherish every single person who reads the stuff i've written. i'm a writer but there are literally no words big enough in the english language to express how you guys make me feel. all i can do is say thank you and keysmash and send lots of heart emoji memes... and hope i am getting the message across. but really, really thank you. from the bottom of my heart thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you.
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seagull-scribbles · 5 days
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I sold my soul to the Devil for designer
Happy 4/20, here are some Angel Dusts, styled in Zachary Willmore’s outfits!! References below cut
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Permission was given to post the reference photos
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i just came out to a real life person and i think im having a heart attack
#IT WAS SO UNPLANNED I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT AT ALL I DIDN'T EVWN THINK WE WERW FRIENDS??#she lives in the building next to mine and we go to tui together to divide the auto fare and we've been walking home 2-3 dino se#and she likes kpop and kdramas#but like there isn't that Spark yk like oh ny god i love u best friends forever its a little awkward and formal still#but we were talking about something and oh my god#when we reached home we were standing uski building ke neeche and she was like i want to introduce you to my childhood bestie i think you#two will like each other#and i was like kinda weirded out like um are we that close yet i thought we were just classmates 😭😭#so i asked ki oh why all of a sudden#and she's like 'i like you' and i look at her and laugh and she said STOP LAUGHING i don't meant it like that im straight ok#and idk something in me snapped i was like oh are u homophobic too?#but pls she didn't know what it meant 😭 so i explained ki do u hate gay people then#she said no no ofc not SO I JUST BLURTED OUT KI good cause im bisexual#THE SHOCK ON HER FACE OMG im saying this now in freaking out now but at that time i said it really coolly and proudly without fumbling#my voice didn't drop down to a low volume or waver or anything (which im so proud bc she's like the first irl person ive come out to face#to face??????? i mean obv childhood friends don't count they're all gay#but anyway she was like OH and then SHE FUMBLED she was like oh nice i respect u very much and it was so awkward i was like haan haan shut#up just don't tell anyone very few ppl know 😭and she wasn't done she was like so as i was saying#we're growing old and real good friendships are getting harder to find and i like you (stop laughing!!) and i hope we don't jinx it#and she literally touched a wooden table lying there and said touchwood???? 😭😭😭😭😭#now i am thinking why did i tell her she's so extroverted she talks to everyone we go to the same tui this town is tiny#she could tell everyone my parents could find out#but also a part of me is relieved cause im so sick of hiding something that is such a small yet imp part of me#and if she tells everyone then cool maybe there'll be more queer people i can't ve the only queer person in this town and we could be#friends and my parents eh they'd never believe something like that they'll ask me if it's true and ill say nah just rumors dumb kids#and they'll believe me because they'll want to believe me so bad#so no harm#i still don't feel very bestfriendy with her but maybe my standards are too high 😭 idk ig i can't see myself being friends with her#for a long time if we weren't forced by circumstances and i don't like her that much but im happy i got to say it#literally said it omg 'kyunki main hu. bisexual' FUCK THAT FELT GOOD
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grey-has-rusted · 1 month
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what they don't tell you about life is that it's hard. woe is me
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brightokyolights · 3 months
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#i am only typing this because im tired and feeling more loosey goosey than i usually would i guess#but ive just been debating something for a while now#so basically i used to just openly talk about like. everything on this blog but then due to a multitude of reasons#i stopped posting about certain things 1. because irl people found my blog and probably still could if they Really tried#2. because i didnt want to post about certain things and have absolutely anyone know shit about me#like as much as it can feel like a cosy wee community. just me and my mutuals <3 etc. its like. actually the fucking internet djdbdjdhdhjdh#anyways whats prompting me to type all this is that i used to post kinda negative stuff on here i guess you could say. like just my feelings#and shit. but i stopped because i want this to be a positive blog and i do feel like you can manifest shit you know? if i constantly reblog#posts where im like “i feel worthless and i am a piece of shit” that isnt helping anything you know? i think what really hammered it home#for me is when i saw a mutual rb something from me like that and it made me so sad tbh. because like. no youre not. youre amazing and ily#you know? anyways. overall i think it has been a decision for the best and i enjoy that my blog has become a more positive space. but i#do sometimes just feel like im kind of going the opposite direction where i act a certain way when im really just. feeling crap.#like all the time. idk maybe tumblr isnt the place for it but it used to be my outlet you know? and i have other things like my diary and#art and even a sideblog lmao. but i guess i do just mourn my whole self not being on this blog. idk what im trying to say by all this#is it this deep? am i thinking about this way too much lmao. idk. idk.#le text post
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zoomingupthathilla · 4 months
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I want to explore max after vecna a little more … 🥺
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beautifel · 6 months
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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