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ncteez · 5 months

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✤ Losing It. (masterpost) ✤ // HIATUS

A series of having virginities given to you. Sometimes they throw said virginity at you with full force, other times, they lovingly hold your hand, bat their lashes, and say some of the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard a man say in regards to getting laid for the first time. ✤ or the one where you go through a list of the seventeen members and learn how they'd lose their virginity to you.

COMPLETED CHAPTERS ― 1/13

SERIES STATUS: actively writing as of march of 2024!

NOTE― All chapters can be read stand alone and do not tie into the others. Each reader and storyline is different!

SERIES WARNING―There are a variety of different scenarios here involving both very normal and loving sex, to some stories that may contain: sub/dom dynamics, religion kink, obsession, desperate behavior, and purchasing of sex work.

If any of these things make you uncomfortable, I urge you to scroll on and not put yourself in a position of discomfort. I did not write these fics to harm anyone.

✤ this series is afab!reader. ✤ Warnings, tags, word counts, etc. can be found attached to each chapter. ✤ Disclaimer: some storylines and member order may be prone to change upon writing them. ✤ TAG LIST OPEN!! send me an ask off anon to be on the tag list for this series. you will be tagged for every chapter, not just the specific members you choose.

✤ Chapter One: Cherry Boy[l.c.]

A new relationship is always difficult to navigate, for Chan, it appears to be even more difficult. For you? You’re just left confused as to why your new boyfriend of a month and a half hasn’t made a move on you despite your very obvious attempts to invite him into your personal space.

You soon realize that your boyfriend is a virgin, and that’s why he’s always running away with his hands covering his bits, even through a simple goodnight kiss.

STATUS ― virginity loss: success WORD COUNT ― 10k

✤ Chapter Two: Thirst Trappers LIE. [k.sy.]

You find your very innocent best friend’s secret thirst trap account. To your surprise, the “I’m not ready yet” Soonyoung, who literally sleeps with at least seven different plushies, consistently swings his dick at onlookers online. Grey sweatpants, no boxers, thigh flexing, moaning and whimpering audios.

Maybe he’s not so innocent after all.

And just maybe you’re right about that, because what he meant by “I’m not ready to have sex yet” really just meant “please have practice sex with me because four thousand people are trying to pull up and i don’t want to be bad at it but i didn’t know how to ask you.”

STATUS ― v card is actively blocking and reporting everyone who sends a dm EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Three: Scoring One. [s.c.]

The second best hockey player on campus has a secret. Not that he cheats on his exams, or that he had a crush on the lunch lady growing up, it’s that he’s shamefully a virgin, despite his jersey sporting the big bold numbers of a six and a nine.

Thankfully, Soonyoung found out about his dirty little secret and provides him with a number and a promise that the girl on the other line has a thing for desperate dudes. What he didn’t know? He was just about to pay not only the number one party girl on campus to take care of his little issue, but his own little sister’s best friend.

STATUS ― v card is currently tucked in his pocket behind a picture of his little sister. CONTEXT NOTE― this fic does not include an age gap of more than two years. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Four: One unsolicited dick pic later. [l.sm.]

Never mind why he hasn’t managed to get laid, it’s not like he hasn’t laid in his room for years at night wondering the exact same thing. The current issue is the fact that his friends keep watching porn on the loudspeakers in the living room, he’s drunk, and he got the sudden confidence to send you a dick pic after not speaking to you since he wished you a happy birthday last year.

What he didn’t know though, is that you’ve had a crush on him since that time in third grade he punched Seungkwan for cheating off of his spelling test.

STATUS ― v card is currently sitting in your inbox unread alongside his raging hard-on. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Five: LOST DOG: FOUND [k.m.]

Mingyu had the chance to lose his virginity right around the time all of his friends did but, well, there were some mishaps. Unfortunately, years later, he is still lying about the loss of it and pretends that he definitely has sex on the regular. He probably would too, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s grown incredibly insecure about his body and what it actually means to sleep with someone.

Now though, the 26 year old man lives on the floor above you and is known as the pet-sitter of the building. Which is kind of great because it’s far too expensive to board your dog for weekend trips every month. You approach him for the first time with the offer of a hundred bucks to watch your dog, and of course he accepts.

The issue upon returning home? He lost your 70 pound dog. Like, the whole thing, he lost it.

STATUS ― v card being handed to you with the leash your dog was supposed to be on. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Six: LOSER. [j.ww.]

After adding some anonymous dude you found on your city’s subreddit looking for gaming friends, you find yourself confused when he suddenly ghosts you after trying to hold a non-gaming conversation.

Through his friends, you learn that he got cold feet because he’s never been with a woman before, and you decide that you’re just gonna have to show him that a man and a woman can be friends without the assumption that either of you want to fuck each other.

Except, maybe you’re not the best example to prove that, because now you can’t stop flirting with him. Now, you’re growing fond of the way he gets all flustered and turned on at the slightest implication of meeting face to face.

STATUS ― v card is hidden deep within his steam library EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Seven: ISO: Anyone who wants me. [c.v.]

Vernon has never had a girlfriend and he wants one bad. Badder than bad. His group of friends get fed up with his consistent eye-rolls involving couples in public, them when they talk about their girlfriends or hook-ups, and ultimately decide to hold an auction at a campus-wide party.

He was feeling pretty ashamed about being announced as a virgin in need of some love, but the laughing didn’t bother him nearly as much when people actually start a bidding war.

Apparently, these auctions happen once every few years and it’s like, a whole thing or whatever. He just happened to be the lucky guy who suddenly has girls lining up for him with cash in hand. And you just happen to be the lucky girl to show him a good time.

STATUS ― v card is currently taped to his forehead EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Eight: To whom it may concern, My desk is sturdy. [l.jh]

The worst thing about spending the night at work to reach deadlines is the fact that the new intern likes to hang out with him. Or rather, distract him. It's insane, really, how he's always about doing things by the book. His whole life revolved around rules and regulations, until he met you. He wanted to wait until marriage, and marriage was not in his books anytime soon. So, with all the stress on his back and you sitting across from him trying to get him to live a little, he decides to live a little too much.

STATUS ― v card framed on his office desk EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Nine: How to be forgiven when you're (not) sorry. [h.j.]

Faith should be put into God, not the priest that consistently finds himself wanting to lead a pretty woman further from the union of God. He’s managed to hold off for most of his life from doing that, but all good things come to an end, he supposes.

Marrying two sophisticated and loving members of the church was the easiest part of his night. The hardest part was pretending that their distant relative didn’t show up in inappropriate attire, with an even more inappropriate need to flirt with a celibate priest. For both him and his God, he finds himself praying more for his sanity than for the happy marriage of the two he just joined together.

STATUS ― v card being used as a bookmark for his bible CONTEXT NOTE― this chapter contains inaccurate depictions of religious duties, sinning, blasphemy, questioning of god, and over all a blatant religion kink from yours truly. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Ten: Paying it forward. [y.jh]

CAMPUS NEWS: RICH NEW STUDENT LOOKING FOR LEGS TO SPREAD.

Being born into a rich family is great and all, sure, when the family isn’t so strict that Jeonghan wasn’t even allowed to close his own bedroom door growing up. Dating was off the table for him too, junk food, trash tv, and even choosing his own career path wasn't something he got to experience in life...yet.

Thankfully, those strict reigns loosened when he got into a college far, far away from home. Now? Jeonghan is out for blood, and by blood, he means he is out to experience all those first-times he missed throughout his teen years. First up on the to-do list: get laid.

STATUS ― brought his v card but forgot his wallet EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Eleven: Friend Circles & Circle Jerks [b.sk.]

Seungkwan had his whole life planned out from the age of five. First, he would finish pre-school and get his diploma to become a doctor, mostly so he could buy a big mansion to live in with his family. Then, he would ask you, the neighbor kid next door, to marry him so that the two of you could stay up past seven in the evening.

Well, it’s safe to say that the now twenty five year old Seungkwan did not become a doctor, nor did he ask you to marry him. To put it simply, you friend zoned him before he ever got the chance to tell you that he’s wanted to kiss you since he learned what kissing was. Still, he sticks around, picking up your little broken heart pieces from the ex that just dumped you. His hopes are high that, maybe, you’ll take notice of how he’s saved himself for you, and that maybe you’d really give him a chance.

STATUS ― v card hidden behind his friendzone card EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Twelve: 48 Missed Calls. [w.jh.]

Junhui dated you for three weeks in highschool. However, It was a simple act of curiosity between the two of you and it ended fairly quickly due to, well, being teenagers.

That’s how it was for you, at least. For Junhui? Maybe it was puberty, or maybe it’s just the puppy love he had for you but, he really couldn’t just let you go. He has brushed off any other person who offers interest towards him for years now because of you. You’re the only person he wants, and despite this obsession he has, you still manage to not notice it.

Which is why he still holds the title of your best friend. A very, very, protective best friend.

STATUS ― v card stuck in limbo just like his obsession with you CONTEXT NOTE― this chapter deals with instances of manipulation, obsession, and over all our boy here has some strange ass vibes (this chapter is not in any way dubcon or noncon). please be aware of this. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Thirteen: Probably (not) a bad idea. [x.mh.]

When Minghao couldn't get a girlfriend throughout his younger years, his focus landed on none other than the world wide web. There, is where he decided how he intends to lose his virginity. Several years and a very large porn addiction later, some lucky woman on one of the four different BSDM sites he signed up for will have the privilege of taking his virginity in more ways than one. He just knows he’s going to love every smothered, painful, wet, insulting second of it.

STATUS ― v card is being used as a pickup line CONTEXT NOTE― this chapter has sub/dom dynamics in where minghao is an alt submissive man. there is ass-play in this. p.s. it is not the greatest idea to lose your virginity to a stranger, especially if that stranger is found on a bdsm site. lower your moral standards for this one. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤tag list: @aaniag @kissesfrmwonwoo @youronceupontequilas @kwanisms @sisterofsomeone @wonrangwoo @yawnkive @5xiang @mingyuonthemoon @listxn @sebongica @yawnkive @nishloves @sisterofsomeone @thepoopdokyeomtouched @ghostlycrystobalove @shiningnono @tomodachiii @porridgesblog @cheolctrl @notevenheretbh1 @jungkkoo @4cheezflatbred @duchesskaren @flwrshwa @sexygrass @doljjongsmom @kpopcrazed @baalkoo @seonghwasprincess @pandoora-the-pink-goth @introdarling @ingloriousbasterdss @horanghaezone @starquokka @imprettyweird @kyeomray this is for tracking purposes, if you are on this list, you will be tagged to all fics in this series unless you state clearly that you would not like to be tagged in fics that contain darker content.

#seventeen smut #svt smut #losing it masterlist

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daytaker · 2 months

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The Gang's Tumblr Pages

Inspired by this and my own reaction to it.

Lucifer

Perfectly curated, perfectly formatted, and whenever there's a major change to the tumblr format, he simply leaves the website altogether in a huff of peacock feathers.

Lots of HD photography of nature getting reblogged.

Has an extremely complicated and specific list of tags he uses for every single post.

He only reblogs text posts that are sufficiently visually appealing. Very few meet his high standards.

You could look through his entire blog and not learn one single thing about him except that he's a perfectionist to the point of neurosis.

He has a lot of professional art blogs following him.

Mammon

Oversharing oversharing oversharing!!!!

He regularly gets himself in trouble by shouting about the shit he's done into the void of the internet.

Tried to have a tagging system but forgets about 7/10 times.

Reblogs himself all the time to say "AND ANOTHER THING!!!"

He hates looking at the actual blog pages. The text is always so tiny and some of them start playing music and changing his mouse into a weird shape? No thank you.

He has very few followers and he doesn't really care. Who goes on tumblr for the social element? Weirdos, that's who.

He's insanely easy to troll with anonymous asks. Everyone has done it. Even Lucifer, though he wouldn't admit it.

Some of his best asks:

"did u just post that you're okay with the idea of ponies and unicorns breeding. like no shade on that conceptually but why."

"If you reblog another 'reblog this for good luck' post, I will personally break down your door and steal your skin."

"ur ugly" "yeah-huh" "ugly" "no i won't 'come off anon and fight u' whhy don't you come ON anon and fight me?" "'i don't know how' sounds like something a chicken would say"

Leviathan

He just makes a blog like one of us. Fandom stuff.

Except he's multifandom to the extreme. It's impossible to keep track of his interests because he always has so many simultaneously.

He has the most followers of the brothers just because he gets so deep into so many fandoms that they come rolling in.

He has blocked all of his brothers except for the twins. They're okay.

His blog is a chaotic mess but there is order within the madness. He has a masterpost of tags that explains everything if you care to look at it. (I don't recommend it.)

Satan

It feels stupid to even put this in writing but...cat pics. Endless cat pics. That's like 90% of his blog.

The other 10% is a mixture of book recommendations and analysis, Lucifer shade, and a comprehensive, ever-expanding list of shit Lucifer has done to make Satan angry. It's a very long list. It's organized by theme.

"Lucifer inflicts unjust punishments." "Lucifer makes unnecessary snide remarks." "Lucifer simping for Diavolo and MC (pathetic)."

His blog itself is very minimalist and clean.

He's another fastidious tagger. He tags the cat pics by color, breed, age, number of cats, setting...

Asmodeus

He's not very into tumblr. It's like Devilgram but more complicated and less popular.

Sometimes he'll post or reblog 'aesthetic' things. Moodboards and the like.

In general though, he doesn't really 'get' tumblr.

People don't post selfies very often. Weird.

Beelzebub

Food blog.

Just food.

Reblogging hot dogs.

Reblogging nachos.

Reblogging ice cream.

Nothing else. Ever.

Belphegor

"This minimalist Tumblr has no posts."

No posts.

Default profile picture.

Sometimes he'll like something.

Usually he just looks at it.

Diavolo

There is no order. Only chaos.

He hardly ever uses it, then he'll come online and reblog a million things that have nothing to do with each other. Then he'll go silent again.

He has no tagging system.

He has no custom theme.

He is very friendly to all anonymous askers though.

Barbatos

Barbatos would never have a tumblr. Don't be ridiculous.

Solomon

He only posts very rarely. He prefers to lurk.

When he does post, it's something weird as fuck, like reblogging statistics about owl pellet contents.

He likes to keep people on their toes.

Simeon

Reblogging inspirational quotes, pictures of nature, and general positivity.

That is, once he figures out how the website works.

That takes a really long time.

What is a queue? What are tags? Why is it called a "reblog"? How does he track activity? How does he navigate the homepage? Why does it post things in such a strange order? What is a "Blaze"? What is a draft? Custom URL? Custom Theme? Sideblogs? Mass Post Editor?

Someone please help him.

Solomon probably does that.

Luke

Baking.

He uses tumblr for recipes and images of baked goods.

But tumblr isn't even the best place to go for that, so he isn't on very often.

He sometimes likes Simeon's posts, just as a show of support since he knows how hard Simeon works to post anything anywhere.

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kiophen · 6 months

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Re: tags on that ask about callout posts (not the same anon), can I ask about the 4lung situation? I haven't looked into what happened too deeply but from what I have seen nothing is super well documented or explained

If its too much and you don't feel like getting into it don't worry about it, feel free to disregard. I'm mostly just curious since I've heard things and it was mentioned

I was prompted to do my own digging into the whole situation surrounding her a few years ago. She was excluded from an online music event due to someone bringing up concerns with the organizers privately. I found that basically every public accusation about her is not true, and/or redacted by the accusers. The only true accusations are the ones that really don't matter; she retweeted porn on main and was a babyfur. These things were used to bludgeon her with pedo accusations and back up all the fake shit thrown on top to make it more convincing.

"Did you know she attempted to KIDNAP a KID?? Oh, the kid said it wasn't a kidnapping and the accuser said they jumped to conclusions and apologized? Well did you know she TWEETED a SLUR? Oh that was actually photoshopped by kiwifarmers? Well did you know she SEXUALLY HARASSED a MINOR? Oh, that was actually her shitty ex-gf trying to make her look bad in retaliation to a bad breakup? Well did you know x and y and z misinterpreted or fabricated things? Well at least you can agree that being a BABYFUR is something worth ritualistically harassing a trans woman, over right?"

One reason why stuff isn't well documented is because the main person who was pushing the accusations so hard ended up apologizing and retracting and deleting a lot of posts (and also I think they're suspended, which deletes all their tweets, and most of this shit happened in twitter threads). They did get bullied into removing their apology too.

Another reason is that a lot of the situation was people seeing the original callout posts years ago, internalizing the message "This Person Bad Pedo Bad Bad Person Bad" from it, and then later being like "Ummmmm isn't that person a pedophile? Yikes?" to their friend who brought her up who then says "Oh My Fuck I am Sorry I Did not Know that!" and then it just gets spread around like that through uncurious people who don't care enough to check

I have my own collection of archived tweets from when I was trying to find the root of these claims and might make a full writeup about the situation someday, but also I have complicated feelings about whether I would be just be immortalizing this shitty behavior, if it would just lead to more people trying to harm her, or if anyone would even learn anything from it. Also I don't want the person who started the accusations to get dragged back into this since I can tell they were being manipulated and gaslit as fuck by other bullies into making this such a big part of their life for so long.

Specifically about the kidnapping thing: After one of her shows, she and a friend drove a teenager to an Arbys to get picked up by their parent as a nice gesture due to some trouble the teen was having. The situation was catastrophized by either this teen or the accuser into a "kidnapping" (there is conflicting information, they both blame each other) and then the accuser tweeted it out. The teen has since said they didn't really think they were being kidnapped, and the accuser said the kidnapping aspect was made up.

#DO NOT go bother her with this. she has said she does not want random peoples apologies #it feels weird not posting the receipts but i would also feel weird about posting them. if you want them PM me.#ask #miles junk

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sadaveniren · 3 months

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So I want to actually take this time to Be SeriousTM. And this is directed to my lovely new fan who is sending me all that hate anon.

I gather - legitimately - from the timing of you sending me stuff and your struggle with proper grammar that you are a child. I do not know if you are in the United States or another country but I want to take a moment to make you (and other people) aware of a ruling that just happened in the United States today.

(Link)

There was already precedent for this (albeit with suicide and not school shootings) with the case of Conrad Roy back in 2014. In both of these incidences people were found guilty of manslaughter (unpremeditated killing of someone) and sentenced to jail. These two cases mean that if someone is found to have been negligent with their actions and it leads to someone’s death that person - even if they haven’t actually killed the person - will still be held accountable.

Now. You’re incredibly lucky that I am - as you called me - a hag. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have been in fandom for many, many years. I’ve been harassed before in fandom. Hell I got harassed on my old LJ by a school mates online friend for daring to not like the person. What this means is I look at your messages and roll your eyes. I do not think I can explain to you how much I don’t give a shit about what you are saying. I - unlike I assume you (and that isn’t meant to be a zetz this is just a statement based on the fact you are spending your free time sending death threats to some random on the internet) - have an incredibly INCREDIBLY strong support system. I have been to therapy. I have so many people I can lean on if for a SECOND I feel bad. Did you see how quickly people responded to my posts? I am incredibly well liked and I know that.

But someone else might not be as lucky as I am. And you may think that you are invincible as an anon but that is an incredibly naive assumption to make - especially if your words end up do killing someone.

I have a feeling this will not reach your ears and I will wake up tomorrow, or maybe later tonight if you’re allowed more Internet time by your parents, with more messages telling me to kill myself. And I will diligently report you to tumblr and eventually block you yet again because you are not mature enough to understand yet that your actions have consequences. That not a skill humans truly will master until 15 or 16, if they care enough to learn.

So yeah. I know this is going to fall on deaf ears. I have a feeling if you are an American teen you won’t actually be able to comprehend all the words strung together because Covid stole two years of your education on top of our already broken public education programs (sorry all the teachers I know, y’all are great and I know you’re trying your best) but yeah. Maybe if it doesn’t reach this specific anon maybe there will be other teens and young adults who end up seeing this as it’s reblogged.

Your words have consequences and in the United States now that means potential jail time if your cries for someone to kill themselves end up causing an ACTUAL suicide.

#Wellbutrin is a HELL of a drug #combating that PMDD AND adhd depression #we love it #suicide #cyberbullying #maybe just don’t be a dick???

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sporesgalaxy · 2 months

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Talking about reading fanfic when you haven't interacted with the source material:

I think there's a lot of depends, especially when it comes to multi-player video games. There's not a lot of story and the game costs money, so instead you interact with fan artists & writers to get your fill.

I love horror games, but hate playing with random people and my friends don't play those games. Dead by Daylight has a lot of fanfic and fanart I like and I adore the original killers they have.

This happens with a lot of horror movies for me too just because there's a lot of meh movies with good concepts and fanfic writers often do that concept better and/or I'm more interested in the killer's story and character more than the leads.

I guess I technically interact with the source material if you count watching 20 min of compiled scenes from a movie. I love horror but there's so many tropes I hate about it that I don't want to sit through. Part of that may also be because I'm not a big scare person either. I'm not here to be scared by horror I'm here to find beauty in the disturbing and disgusting! And when I DO want to be scared, fanfic writers tend to do a much better job with how they make things feel so much more real

Video games are I think where a lot of people misunderstand what I (personally) mean by taking in the source material. How much you can engage with the source text without playing it yourself can vary a LOT on a case-by-case basis in games.

In my limited experience with multiplayer online game characters, playing the game yourself isn't as important as engaging with the character writing, which is usually more separate from gameplay since there's not normally cutscenes in online play.

I'm biased because I suck shit at games, but in my opinion, if the story of the characters in the multiplayer horror game is told through text blurbs and cutscenes and advertisement clips, and you watch/read all those things, just like someone who played the game would, that's close enough to engaging with the source material to me. You've taken in the tone of the source writing and you have most of the facts. Maybe there's some context lacking if you don't listen to every possible in-game voice line, but I think the effort to understand whatever you can get your hands on counts for a lot here.

With the horror movies...I guess I can't totally discount watching clip compilations based on what I just said about engaging with certain video games. But I stand by my assertion that you're missing out on valuable intertext for the parts of the movies you haven't seen, and I think it still takes away from your overall experience.

If there's a terrible sexist trope in the source movie, and the fanfic author changes how that scene goes, doesn't it matter how they changed it? How exactly the scene went originally? Did the original sexist trope fall in line with the themes the movie meant to convey? If it did, how does changing it effect that? Does it make the theme feminist-inclusive, or does it just gloss it over and pretend sexism doesn't exist and doesn't tie into the theme of the movie? If you never watched the scene, you can't entirely know / have formed an opinion!

I understand avoiding stuff that is too anxiety-inducing (I've done that with tons of stuff for most of my life because of my OCD). I can't really help you with dealing with when the movie just Is Successfully Scary. But for the stuff you read fanfic to see rewritten.........I feel like ignoring "sitting through" the shitty parts in the source material is robbing yourself of valuable experiences, too, even if those experiences kinda suck?

Understanding the structure of the shitty parts of media (and how one could disassemble them, if so inclined) is how we can learn to recognize shitty patterns we're otherwise accustomed to in all the other media we engage with regularly. It's a really valuable skill to have. So I think that specifically getting into stuff that HAS problems you KNOW about, and yet making no effort to Understand those problems fully (not that people can't fail to understand even if they engage with the source material, unfortunately), is just...a waste of a perfectly good learning experience?? I'm not the boss of you obviously but that's my two cents.

#asks #long post #syd writes an essay

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coexistentialism · 4 months

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did anything in particular help u get over denial bc u don’t know much abt your alters? I feel like a silly to think I could have this disorder bc I’m very clueless

Hmm... Other than my diagnosis and generally teaching myself, I'm not entirely sure.

Note here when I say "you" in this post, I'm not directing this at you, Anon, specifically!

Mostly just a lot of research. Like so much research. Please, PLEASE do research - actual research - if and when you can, even if you have to find audiobooks or find alternative ways to research, as long as you are not solely getting your information from social media! Including me man! Do your own research! I am a human being too and I am capable of being wrong! I would LOVE to share places where I research, how I research, etc. if anyone is interested in a post like that.

Talking to other systems, being in (...good..) system spaces, and learning about other systems' experiences, both different and similar to my own. You can browse blog pages, forum posts, Reddit, Tumblr, read books, watch short films made by people with DID/OSDD, find other YouTubers to watch, etc. I can also share a post about some stuff I recommend, like Forums and Reddit posts and blogs.

Throw out OSDD versus DID. I'm so serious. I think some people who question DID/OSDD have treated questioning it like way too seriously and I kinda just wanna go. Who cares man. If you suspect you have DID or OSDD, who cares, just say you suspect DID or OSDD. You. Don't need to narrow it down to one, I promise you it doesn't matter as much as the internet acts like it does. I think the DID criteria could do with changing and to be less restrictive in order to include a wider variety of presentations and experiences. At the end of the day, when somebody says they're an OSDD system, this means SO many different things for SO many different people. You ask one person with OSDD what that means for them and they might have a totally different answer than someone else with OSDD. I just think people should learn to be okay with saying "I suspect DID/OSDD, I don't know which" more often instead of attempting to figure out which one they have. The reason it's so confusing is because OSDD doesn't have criteria. It doesn't have criteria for you to meet and the internet makes shit up about OSDD, so you get fed misinformation about it and things don't add up and don't make sense because it's misinformation. So just throw this out and learn to be okay with not knowing whether it's DID or OSDD. It's okay. You don't have to narrow it down. Relax NFDKJASKD

Tips:

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ANYTHING THAT YOU READ ABOUT DID/OSDD ONLINE THAT YOU FOUND HELPFUL - SAVE IT SOMEWHERE! I promise you will want to look back at them and read them over and over again several times and each time you do, you will realize things you hadn't before. So often, I've gone back and read research papers that I've read in the past, or books, etc. and found that I understood them much better, that they made me realize a lot more about myself, etc. than the first time I read them. Or the second time, or the third time, etc.

Lots and lots of journaling, even if you think it's useless/pointless, even if you think it's unhelpful, even if you don't understand the point. I did not understand how journaling would help me figure out my alters because I was expecting myself to magically find something written there like the next day with no memory of it, and it. Does not fuckign work that way LMFAO at least not for most people. I was expecting the wrong thing, I was assuming that that was the indicators of switching I was looking for, that I was supposed to communicate to my alters in that way, but I knew that that wasn't an experience I would have, and I obviously didn't experience it, so I didn't understand the point. It soon became clear how wrong I was NFKSDNFJKADNKJDASF

It's okay to be ""cringe."" It's okay to be ""weird."" Let yourself be weird as Hell. Let yourselves be "cringey." It's okay. Be free. NFDJFNKDSA

Allow your experiences to Just Be. You don't have to figure out if that experience was a switch right now, you don't have to figure out if that voice you heard was Truly An Alter right now, I just mean that you don't have to overthink it and you can allow your experiences to simply happen and then analyze them later. It's okay. Even if they are weird, even if they are cringey, even if they're embarrassing. I mean, so long as no-one is harmed, but even in that case, it's okay to put safety measures into place, or find alternatives, find coping skills, or if something harmful has already happened, to attempt to mend it, and analyze things later, etc. Things will come to you as long as you let them, but you won't be able to figure things out if you refuse to allow experiences to simply happen instead of overthinking it, like I used to do where I constantly just felt like "but that's not truly an alter, so-" and just refused to let things Just Happen.

Most importantly: take your time. seriously. this is a process that can - unfortunately - agonizingly take several years. but the pay-off is worth it and when you start to feel that denial lessen, you will look back and feel as if no time as passed (or is that the dissociation NFJDASNFK

I think that's about everything I can think of so far!

#inbox #my posts

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spearxwind · 8 months

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not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

#ask #anon #advice #this is so long and again it is from my perspective but this is what I have done so I am really hoping it helps you #im wishing u the best of luck anon i hope you are able to better your life significantly <3 #please feel free to keep me posted on your progress whenever you make any. be that in a few months or a few years

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kafus · 2 months

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whenever i see guides for neurotypical social skills and similar stuff, i can’t help but think that if i attempted to make friends that way i’d be miserable. i’m not saying i have no desire to consciously and manually learn some social skills because i have done that for more professional settings, for small talk, for survival, and it has helped me and made my life better! some manually learned social skills i’ve even naturally integrated into how i usually speak, don’t get me wrong! but specifically with forming actual friendships, if the other person isn’t interested in how i communicate as an autistic person and i have to mask myself to that large extent, i’m just. not interested in that kind of friendship.

it’s frustrating too because as an autistic person i’ve discovered that at least online (i don’t have much experience with IRL friendships bc currently mostly homebound disabled person) the ticket to making genuine and good friendships with people wasn’t following some arbitrary ruleset for conversation, it was literally just being confident. Yes really. i genuinely think if you carry yourself like you know who you are and how you speak, you will find people eventually who will click with how you communicate, and friendships can form from there. obviously it’s not THAT simple and easy but it really is such a huge part of it. once i won the idgaf war and stopped fretting so severely over how i was behaving in group chats and shit all the time, it really changed things for the better and i made friendships

as much as learning some NT social skills is required for survival and basic/professional interactions with people, i just think it’s unfortunate that autistic people are often told even by other autistic people that the key to real friendships is forcing yourself to communicate a different way. yes i’m sure that works and some people are going to feel fulfilled that way but frankly i would explode. autistic communication IS desirable! you can make friends even if you talk like that! yes, even like that!! all of us are so anxious and feel like shit bc we’ve been rejected by NT spaces so hard especially while growing up but i swear to god it is possible to make real friendships while also being autistic as fuck unmasked

anyways the TLDR of it is i think we should encourage each other more as autistic people to be confidently unmasked in spaces that are safe for it instead of masking more to make friendships where you can’t even be yourself. i would literally rather explode than try to form close bonds by masking again like i did in high school 💥 💥 💥

#kiki was here #kiki.txt

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acoldsovereign · 2 months

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{{ Okay, here we go. A better/proper post about it. I know, I know. "But you said you wouldn't post--"

I'm breaking it this once. Only this once.

I'm still a reforming sociopath so being sad/sitting with intense feelings is very difficult for me. Concerning the circumstances, I'll try to express myself properly without the fear of "feeling things wrong".

I'm still new to the RPC. I started in March 2023, it'll be a year soon. God, that's so fast. I made minor and major mistakes in the process of learning Tumblr etiquette, but I learned from those instances all the same and nobody heckled me for it. Nobody made fun of me at all. Aside from the one incident I had late last year (it wasn't anyone in this community, though they did have a DBZ character on their roster), I've had ZERO problems with this community. I may be annoyed at stuff I see on the dash, or at highly specific or miniscule things nobody else sees if I ever venture out of my safe bubble, but ... I never felt unwelcomed, excluding my beginning months (which was when I didn't understand Tumblr culture). That changed when I started following and talking to people seriously. Everyone, even the shy people have been nothing but sweet to me and you all still continue to be really sweet and kind to me, even going as far to remind me to take my time when I push myself too hard. DBZ wasn't my first anime (that honor goes to Magic Knight Rayearth, Sailor Moon and Rurouni Kenshin), but it was one of the most influential I've ever watched. Unlike most in the community, I have a tumultuous relationship with the series due to being bullied severely in my childhood/adolescent years. I wasn't "allowed" to like or enjoy it because I was a girl, and it was a boy's show, even worse, it was deemed "white people shit". (Yes, this was said to my face by kids my age).

It was so incredibly dumb and disheartening to never be able to enjoy things because I associated being liked with survival. And yet, I still found a way to enjoy DB in secret. I started with Kai reruns. As you all know, even though I started at the Saiyan Saga, it was the Trunks Saga that truly converted and changed me-- so much so that he's my favorite character hands down, even after all these years. I ended up finishing the entire series on an old computer I no longer have. The pirating website I was using had a little chatbox where people were doing script RP (aka they used asterisks and all that). I thought it looked fun-- so, I made an account, username and joined in. I was a female Saiyan character (because why wouldn't I?) and I discovered the world of RP that way; that's how I started. DBZ is why I'm here with you all. The cycle repeated again and all of my old RP partners were nowhere to be found when I logged in one day. I got bullied again (which deeply hurt and confused me) and verbally/emotionally harassed online until I changed my username and deleted the FC I was using (one of them even told me to uh, you know. Do the opposite of live). I searched online for other RP forums and found them; started on other sites until I found my way to Facebook. I learned I had a knack for describing things, and making wholly unique characters that breathed life into the series they were from. I found my home, you could say. I've been in many other fandoms, made good memories but the majority of them are unfortunately tainted with the cruelty and lack of compassion others had towards OCs, especially of the female kind. Even in the Naruto community years ago, I had been at the end of a "call out/ship-vent" post for something I had no control over (the situation was actually caused by the person who wrote it, worse of all).

When I RPed in the DB fandom on Facebook, the only things that happened were: people's feelings getting hurt when my villain OCs said something rude to their characters (I always, ALWAYS, warned the other person in advance just to make sure they were okay with it), and people (mainly male muses-- canon and OCs) trying to reform them through having crushes on them or being "nice" to them. Romance plots, basically, or hoping for it. Though the latter was sometimes annoying, I managed to have fun, still. (Funnily enough, it mainly happened to the Cyborg/'Android' OCs I had, and not my Saiyans). The former though, kept me away from writing any more villains/antagonists for a long time because I didn't want to harm someone or be the reason they had a bad experience with roleplaying. Quite some years ago, I abandoned it due to life responsibilities and all that. Had to focus on college. I've been doing this since middle school all the way up to high school. I'm 26 now. I've been roleplaying for 14 years. I started when I was 12, at most. That means I've been a fan of this series for that duration of time and even longer since I didn't know RP was a thing. Because of DBZ, I've had long distance relationships. Because of DBZ, I've discovered my passion of writing goes deeper than what I thought it did originally. I even discovered what fanfiction was, through RP. I met people in the past through RP that I've developed crushes on and went on to date online. Met my first cosplay community (when I started cosplaying), made friends with local anime-shop owners before they closed down for good. I had a freaking Future Trunks Funko at one point! And I donated it to the shop because I loved the owners so much that I wanted them to have what personally gave me joy. I tried to write Trunks at one point, tried to cosplay him at another, so on and so forth. As many downs I had being attached to this series, I had more ups-- and gods, were the ups so HIGH. So, I'm much more willing to work with the series and all of the IP, because the truth is, something keeps making me come back. And it sparks my enthusiasm.

I've been told since starting my blog that my enthusiasm is infectious and I'm glad it is, because the truth is: this enormous body of work deserves it. My enthusiasm is because of Toriyama. This blog is here because of Toriyama. No, seriously. He said we never got female Saiyans prior to Super because he never could settle on a design. Growing up, I've been told toxic things about this series (usually from my own ethnic group, immature boys and creepy, grown men), only to find out the dude struggled with indecision! He was just like me at the time-- a freaking panster! Talk about a relief! I belong here!! I've always belonged, as a female fan!! My Saiyans, whether in RP or fanfictions, were female for this explicit reason. Long story short, Maiz is here because he planted that seed. I just took it and ran. As you all know, Maiz originally came from a fanfiction herself but, her current personality, motives and goals came from another character. The version you're seeing and writing with was specifically tailored to the needs of the RPC-- a villainous female Saiyan (with huge amounts of much needed Saiyan lore backing her up). I created this blog with my decade long experience of writing in mind. I wasn't expecting much when my best friend Koji convinced me to try Tumblr RP. I was so jaded. I thank her so much because if she didn't, I wouldn't have refound my drive for this series. My neverending love for various aspects of DB would have just stayed between me and my close irl friends. I wouldn't have met any of you. I wouldn't be here at all, and neither would Maiz. I wouldn't be surrounded by beautiful, amazing people. I wouldn't be as motivated as I am to improve my writing and vocabulary. Just ... Gosh. You guys remember when I said I can't think of Trunks' backstory too hard/too long or I'll get sad and cry? Well. It's moved to "if I ever hear Heroic, Episodic or Heaven Sent Trunks, I'll get sad" now. Gotta laugh at myself a little somewhere. I'm getting better at being okay with being sad. Bare with me. The fact that he based my favorite character on the Terminator movies and Trunks existing was why I even got into sci-fi to begin with (Terminator, Total Recall, Stargate, Star Trek, etc), just makes everything I've been though with this series hurt that much more.

To make matters worse, the first time I ever wrote within the sci-fi genre WAS the fanfiction Maiz comes from. It was a rewrite of DB Super, starting with the Broly movie, so naturally I decided it should be a blend of that and Space-Opera. Sigh. Do you see what I mean? By why this all hurts? I wouldn't be here at all if I didn't take what Toriyama said about female Saiyans to heart. Being told I was taking this IP too seriously over the years has paid off. I'm glad I'm so damn stubborn and resilient. I'm glad I have tunnel vision. Others would've broken if they went through the bs I did. If I had to go get bullied for liking Trunks over Vegeta and Goku all over again, I'd do it knowing what I accomplish later down the road. (But you know, I don't need to be bullied again-- nobody does). There's much more I could say but I'll leave it here as I think this is a full explanation enough. Thank you, Akira Toriyama (and the editors) for the Trunks, Androids and Cell Sagas. I'm glad Western movies inspired you. Finally, thank you for existing.

#Tw death mention #tw death #OOC: Out of Limits #{{ I'm grateful to you Toriyama. Thank you so much. Just in case I didn't get the point across clearly enough. ;w;

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femalegoloism · 2 months

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oh no another opinion

im not really expecting anyone to read this but after thinking about it for so many days i just wanted to write everything down.

first off i want to start by saying that i believe caiti when she says she feels violated by what happened to her. her feelings are completely valid and it's disgusting that it came to a point where she gets to feel that way. but, with that said, i want to state a couple of things.

everyone in that room failed her. being 18 and exposed to grown adults and illegal drinking is a recipe for disaster. if you're bringing your 18 year old friend to a party with people considerably older than her and with alcohol involved i don't get why you would leave her unattended. or give her alcohol. or leave her alone in a room with strangers. and not only that, but refuse to take any blame for that and try to blame people that had no way of knowing (im talking about dream, in case that wasn't clear enough). you need to grow up and stop going live to talk about this as if it's your story to tell because by doing so you're digging yourself into a deeper hole and discrediting your friend's story because of all the inconsistencies. first you were too drunk to notice anything (even though you came with her and she's your best friend), but somehow still expected other people (who were also drunk and didn't even know her until that day) to notice how she was feeling. then you did notice, but decided to keep silent instead of defending your friend and taking care of her, even going as far as leaving her alone in that room when you noticed she was uncomfortable. you're a shit friend.

consent is a very tricky topic here, because i personally think different types of consent are cultural and depend on the type of crowd you're a part of in that specific moment. yes, verbal consent is very important, but to assume it always happens is delusional at best. maybe it's because i partake a lot in hookup culture (that is to say, i am not chronically online and leave my house and have normal human interactions in my day to day life). consent can be found in a lot of different things, like a hand to your shoulder, to a nod on your head, to a cuddle. it shouldn't be like that, but in mainstream culture that's just how things are. do i think that's okay? absolutely not. but just because i perceive it like that doesn't mean every single person does. my main issue with that in this specific situation is the power dynamics that play into it. if it were normal people i wouldn't really give it that importance but george being a really big and important creator really changes things. he holds some power over her, whether he realises that or not, and just because of that explicit consent should always be expected. now i don't think he's really aware of how this power dynamic works out for him (seeing as he spent most of his life stuck in his room, never really went out, got drunk or even interacted with other people apart from his close friend group until he moved to florida) and he's still navigating through it. i don't think he understands how someone may feel pressured to act fine around him or play into his games just because he is who he is. and now this brings me to my next topic.

george is not an assaulter. he's a dumbass boy who was drunk and needs to learn about boundaries and put himself in women's shoes for a minute to understand the shit we have to go through everyday. i don't think he did anything purposefully and wanted to take advantage of anyone. he touched a waist. that's it. i get that it can be uncomfortable for her and that he should've asked for explicit consent before doing that because he didn't knew her to just assume body language but that is not sexual assault. they were both drunk and he had no indication that what he was doing was bothering her. i can understand why he thought it was okay (laughing, smiling, getting up and sitting back next to him, deciding to stay even after her friends left) and i can also see how caiti could do this to avoid awkwardness. at the end of the day, it all was just a big misunderstanding. that's why you need to communicate when you're engaging with someone. you need to ask if they're feeling okay, but you also need to reassure that person that you're comfortable or like what's happening.

what really irked me about this is the rape rhetoric used by caiti in her statement. i don't want this to sound as victim blaming, because it's not, i just don't understand it. i've been thinking about this since i watched her stream and i need to get my thoughts down, so bear with me. when i first watched everything i thought he was touching her in private parts or straight up groping her, i even said so to my irl. i don't actually remember the actual words used, so forgive me if i say anything wrong, but i remember her saying things like feeling stuck in place and like she couldn't escape, feeling dirty months after it happened and not knowing how to make it stop. i don't know her or what she's been through to have such a strong reaction to what happened, but at the end of the day it was just your waist getting touched and you being uncomfortable. it's not okay. but you weren't raped, you weren't groped. telling things in a way that implies you were, i don't know if purposeful or not, is disgusting. by doing that you're diminishing the experiences of a lot of different people that have gone through so much worse things.

people projecting their trauma into this situation is why it became such a sensitive topic. your experience is not caiti's. don't pretend like you went through the same thing because you didn't. people think that just because they'd been SAd (i have been too! it's not important to the story though) they are more capable of forming opinions or treating this more critically are wrong. it's the opposite. you are not being rational about this and you are not being critical, you are being triggered and blowing things out of proportion. from the bottom of my heart, seek help, you need it.

ccs need to stop being so performative. as dream said, support victims because they deserve it, not because it's convenient. some of them are so scared to lose their platform they become so spineless it's actually scary. i'm not naming names, but i think that if someone reads this they'll know what i'm talking about.

this is a more direct "attack" (not attack, really, i just don't understand) but i'm still not going to name anyone. you can't say people need to stop being parasocial and just follow your lead in the same sentence. you're just saying stop being parasocial to these ccs but be parasocial to me instead and just do what i say because i actually know better. i don't understand why you're implying they're bad people and have always been when a week ago you were actively engaging with them and calling them your sibling. what am i supposed to take from that? why are you saying they're bad people now, when this came out, but were perfectly fine staying in their house weeks before this happened. if you know something, just say it. and i don't mean rumours, or things you've seen that are now taken out of context.

my final point, unless i came back to this later and have more to add, is that this could have been avoided if these people with platforms just learned how to communicate privately. dream asked months after that night if everything was fine, if something happened, and no one said anything. caiti continued talking to george (even if it was passive aggressive, or whatever she wants to call it) for months after it happened. isn't it better to just straight up telling him hey!! this happened!!! i didn't like it!!! or, if she wasn't ready to do it by then, just talk to him or one of his friends before going public with it. it's not a situation where he was made aware of the issue and continued being a cunt, he just had no idea of what was happening.

i wanna finish this by saying i don't hate them, i actually still like them (that can change as more information comes out). they need to grow as people and, for the love of god, go to therapy. but i don't think they're bad people or that this has to end their careers.

take care everyone

#georgenotfound #georgenotfound allegations

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placeinthisworld · 3 months

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I think swifties in a very weird and gross way want joe to have been an absolute ass and emotionally abusive because then they’ll feel that all of Taylor’s friends behaving like that and even Taylor behaving in a very petty and just overtly mean way right after the breakup announcement would be justified. They believe that Taylor isn’t truly fully petty like that so she can’t possibly be doing that just because there just has to be a huge reason for everybody’s behaviour at the time cuz otherwise it makes her look immature. I also think because Taylor presented this image of him being so perfect that now fans that formed a very evident attachment to him feel betrayed so he has to have been horrible and awful all along. I truly don’t understand the she became voiceless part because honestly I know we don’t know alot right now but the info before us makes me feel like sometimes she’s pissed that she was forced to slightly face her morals head on in part because of him. on a side note I honestly don’t believe he’s some poor victim and I know that he might’ve been crappy to her and she might’ve been an ass but right now I just find it weird and icky that so what you’re presenting to us is that he couldn’t handle your fame and after the breakup you’re choosing to literally name your album after a group chat he had so it’s like you’ve kind of sentenced him to being in the headlines perpetually whenever the name of your album is mentioned and it’s like this isn’t just her discussing her feelings in a song which I don’t know others might not feel this way and it’s perfectly fine but like the song stuff sure can make the situation difficult for the other person slightly but I feel like that’s alright ya know you knew she’s a songwriter when you started dating her but this is the actual name of her album. Like she might put a spin on it and now she’s made that title her own which is perfecting fine but you can’t convince that miss marketing queen wasn’t aware that this wouldn’t happen especially because the way she and her friends have acted after the break up really fuelled the feud narrative. This part isn’t a huge offence on her part and I understand isn’t a big deal but it’s just icky to me

yuuuup i agree!!! i feel like joe and taylor had their issues but fully intended to make things work. but life happens, people change. i feel like ive seen a shift in taylor’s personality over the past few years. the thing i liked about joe/ taylor were how private they were, like we didn’t hear every single thought or action they did like we are seeing now. it felt like taylor had her own life and i was so content with that. we obviously don’t know anything more than what *taylor* has written about them in her music. joe doesn’t really say shit about her (and yeah ik that article went around about how he was feeling slighted by the album announcement but like be so fr anyone could have made that statement up- i feel slighted FOR him for gods sake) and he’s been pretty respectful of her their entire relationship publicly at least. he’s always known she’s a storyteller and writer so im sure it wasn’t exactly shocking information to hear about her writing about him, but yeah i do have to say after being so close and private with someone for years and then having them release an entire album less than a year after the breakup, filled with vague LDR rip off song titles that reference you in the slightest bit, therefore triggering millions of Defensive swiffers to openly bully and harass you online for…..ending a relationship you probably were grieving over too- just so fucking petty.

like sure we’re used to hear how taylor feels about her exes/ past relationships, but this was when she was still vague about what songs were about who, and we had at least 2+ years between the. breakups to learn about it. it feels like she rushed to put together another album to just shit on joe specifically…..like it just feels so wrong. imo.

i was sent this reddit thread and it actually made me think A Lot about how taylor works

#answered #anonymous #like i’m not even a joe stan ive never seen a single thing that man has been in but good god yall are acting like he’s re villain????#for breaking up with her?????????#possibly?????? like we don’t even know yall just want to hate a man #if we’re gonna hate on an ex can we PLEASE go back to john mayer????????????? he is so much more deserving of it

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mikufigure · 5 months

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i intended to write this as a comment on this https://archiveofourown.org/works/42448821/chapters/110444814?view_adult=true fan fiction (nsfw), but comments are disabled. i’m a fairly private person in regards to erotic content, i don’t like sharing what i enjoy outside of very limited circumstances, but i feel i need to set that aside for a moment in order to praise this. this is one of my favorite fanworks of all time.

let’s set some background so i can formulate my thoughts and also give a proper info. i rarely read fan fiction, only occasionally indulging whenever visual art can’t scratch the itch of enjoying media. guilty gear is a franchise that i, excuse my wording, feel guilty for enjoying due to my lack of participation in the actual fighting game side of it. i’ve been about actively into it for ten months, but i first started looking into it because of bridget’s depiction in strive, as she was transgender, and openly accepted as such by her franchise.

putting the rest under the readmore since this got long

after listening to her theme song a few times i ended up hearing other songs as they came on autoplay, and loved them. passively listened to just the music for a few months before plunging into what the series actually was. i am not good at fighting games. i’ve tried a few, played a few rounds against friends, but ultimately did not stick with them for very long. the way i enjoyed guilty gear was by listening to music, learning about the story, and enjoying fanworks.

as much as i like to pretend that i don’t, i do have an anxiety disorder, and the general culture of media led me to developing the mindset of becoming a ‘poser’ for not actually playing the games. there was a reputation of fans that got into the series because of bridget never playing the game and being looked down on because of that, and i did not want to fall in that crowd. with this factors, i was reserved in my emotional investment for quite some time.

what ended up drawing me out of this shell was meeting people who enjoyed the series, and seeing them enjoying it without hesitation. there was no breakthrough moment of “oh wow! i can just enjoy things without worrying about opinions!”, but rather a gradual build up of confidence in seeing the happiness of others.

do you wanna know the fun part of this? the people i’ve met got into it for various reason, still play the game, and enjoy the franchise as much as me. the only other uniting feature between us is that we’ve all been transgender. guilty gear has cultivated a safe community for transgender people solely through their addition of characters like bridget and testament. don’t think i’ve forgotten about testament, i’ve just only been addressing bridget due to her widespread impact.

i think i’m ready to actually talk about that fanfiction i linked forever ago. go read it if you haven’t, or at least read between the first and second line break. the part that got me wanting to write all of this was two specific paragraphs:

She doesn’t know what to tell this gothic nonbinary transfemme to keep them safe. Maybe spit out some stupid platitudes. Shit advice like, don’t ever write poetry. Don’t ever write song lyrics. Don’t ever write your heart and your trauma and your hope into trans erotic fanfiction; don't do it, it's not worth it.

this first one made my heart ache. it made me realize why comments were disabled, why the work was posted anonymously. i had already decided i needed to write something in response to it by then, as a sort of “tribute” to whoever might have written this.

And in response, I-No brushes her guitar’s strings, enough to summon her magic. Transformative magic, the kind that you’d archive online in the hopes that another trans reader would find resonance between the lines.

i’ve found such an intense resonance with this. it’s hard to convey with words the emotion that this makes me feel. i’m grateful to have found this fan fiction, to have found this community, for a game like guilty gear to exist which could foster a community for transgender people. i’m grateful for transgender erotica and expression as a love letter to the source material and for personal indulgence. i don’t think i can make a much more compelling closer than that, just simple adoration for transgenderism and love.

#t #guilty gear

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 2 years

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Why tf is harrymort something you ship? Not only is Voldemort constantly trying to kill Harry, has killed Harry's parents, threatened to kill all of Harry's friends, and actually did sort of kill Harry, but like. He's definitely over fifty in the books. IDK how old he is exactly, but he's old enough that he was a feared political cult leader missing 6 chunks of his soul and a Hogwarts graduate when Harry is a baby. It's creepy, man.

Bruh, all of my ships are incredibly problematic in more than one way. I'm suspicious over that being the only one you seem to take issue with.

1.) You lack imagination. HP is a very fleshed out fictional universe with many options at your fingertips for fanfic. Tom Riddle appears throughout the series, in the ages newborn, 11, 15, 16, 18, 20+, 30+, 50, and 70. Harry has appeared in the ages of 1, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 37/38. Time Turners exist. Alternate Universes exist. You can do literally anything because HP is a massive sandbox. I can have Harry find the Diary in his 6th Year and then he is actually older than Diary-Tom. I can have Adult-Harry Time Travel to any point between 1950 and 1970 and end up in a relationship with Adult-Tom.

2.) What attracts me is the potential. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean there aren't ridiculous connections between Harry and Voldy. People would see Voldy's obsession as some kind of mad crush if Harry was a girl and we all know it. Just because Harry's a boy doesn't mean Voldy getting touchy feely isn't weird, or Tom staring at him 'hungrily' many times isn't suggestive, or Harry remarking 18 times between 2 books that Tom Riddle is 'handsome' while doing nothing to tell people about how attractive the supposed love of his life(Ginny) is.

3.) My weakness is Protag/Antag ships. Ever since I was a child and a romance was happening in something I was watching, my first thought was always preferring the hero with the villain. I didn't understand why until I was about 13. Suddenly it's, how would that work? How can they realistically go from being enemies to being in love? Can any fic writers manage it since it isn't canon?

Bruh, I shipped Sailor Moon with almost every enemy she had(even Diamond tbh). I shipped Kagome Higurashi with Naraku and Sesshomaru from the moment those characters were introduced in the story(Inuyasha). Long before we learned any back story on them. I shipped Naruto with almost every member of the Akatsuki at some point out of curiosity the moment I learned about the organization. I shipped Kaname Kuran and Zero Kiryu(Vampire Knight).

As a result of my Protag/Antag obsession, most of my ships end up being unhealthy by nature. Even in cases where they are undeniably canon, like Luo Binghe/Shen Qingqiu | Shen Yuan, they aren't very safe or sane.

Something you need to remember is that it is fiction about fictional characters. Real people are not being harmed. And the only way someone could realistically be 'triggered' by such content is if they go to specific lengths to see it. You have options to curate your online experience. Don't follow blogs/accounts about topics you don't like, mute words/tags that bother you, block ppl who make you uncomfortable. It takes a few minutes to ensure your future is hassle free.

I'm at that age where I've been in fandom spaces so long I don't care about people's ships or interests. Spending my personal time worrying about some stranger's obsession with Tragic Non-Con Reylo fanfic won't do me any favors when I honestly dgaf. I'm here for the fandom stuff I like and only occasionally participate in discourse, and that is never aimed at ships and is always about characters and the people who wrote them.

So yes, I ship fucked up shit, and I could write the fucked up stuff(maybe, if I ever get emotional strength to) but typically I'm more into nuance and drama and slow burns that take 400K words to work through. I don't do Non-Con Triggering horrible stuff because mentally I can't handle writing or reading it very much. But I'm also not up in arms over the people who do. Let people like what they like. Ship and let ship. Live and let live. They're pixels on a screen or words on a page. They don't exist. They aren't real. They are meant to entertain us, and how people find their enjoyment in fiction isn't for anyone to decide.

#fandom #shipping discourse #harrymort #fandom discourse #watermelonsmellinfellon

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