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#because he would post something like this
starlightbright · 1 day
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RIP Ricky September they had to kill you because it would have been unrealistic to not keep you on as a companion 😔
EDIT: I've noticed some people taking this post really seriously, so to clarify: no, I don't think Ricky was literally a perfect uwu anti-racist angel. This post was mostly a joke about how he was running around doing companion shit and, most of all, how the Doctor and Ruby both thought he was a hottie. My actual feelings about Ricky are that he's a complacent white liberal. Character reading under the cut if you want an explanation.
I do think the implications of making him unplugged from the racism bubble, paralleling him with the Doctor (man who shows up with knowledge about history and technology and guides the other character through dangerous situations), and directly contrasting to Lindy (including being open to trust the Doctor without second guessing him the same way Lindy and all her friends did) are supposed to be that he wasn't like the other people there and is thus LESS racist since racism comes to be what defines their society. I've seen some people basically ask "then why'd he move to White People City?" but within the text it's actually Rich People City; the reason everyone there is white is because systemic racism financially benefits white people. Making him LESS racist is NECESSARY to giving his death any meaning - because if he definitively would have called the Doctor a slur and walked away, then the Dot killing him quickly was a mercy kill because we KNOW all the other residents are going to die in the wilderness.
THAT SAID, I also don't think he was a progressive anti-racist. Do you know what Ricky actually is? A white liberal. He might disengage from the White People Bubble, he might not be outwardly cruel to black people, but he's still surrounded by people who are and benefits from a system where ONLY WHITE PEOPLE ARE RICH. The culture might be fucked, but he still benefits from it without doing anything to actually fight it. It's like how many a white liberal will read about the history of slavery, feel sad about it, and then be uncritical of prison labor. If Ricky was meant to be progressive, there'd be something, ANYTHING in the text about how he's tried to educate his followers on their society's problems, but it got deleted. He is COMPLACENT.
That's sort of the point, I'd say, since the theme is about how priviledged white people put themselves in a bubble of people like them and choose to look away from what's wrong in society. Those people become complacent at best with no effort to actually speak out or change things. Hell, even within the text, Ricky SEES a problem others are looking away from (the slugs eating people), but only tries to fight it by making a TikTok about it and becomes complacent again, accepting that people are just going to be eaten.
So tl;dr: no, I don't think the white liberal kid literally would have been a companion. I think if you stuck him in the Ood episode, for example, he'd have shaken his head when he found out about their plight, maybe made a TikTok with sad music playing over footage of them, and then said "welp, nothing else can be done." I think it's FUNNY to imagine another companion that the Doctor and Ruby both are giggling like schoolgirls over.
Also I kind of thought he was ugly - no offense to the actor but the makeup they had him in combined with the lighting and closeups made him look way older than 27 so he gave off this uncanny "how do you do fellow kids?" look.
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cutielando · 1 day
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Okay I have a request. Lando with his long time girlfriend and when Oscar joins the team they warn him to stay away from Lando’s drivers room after a race because him and reader love to ‘celebrate’ no matter the result of the race. And Oscar finds out the hard way. But McLaren are like use to it. 🤭🧡
Please and thank you.
a/n: i'm sorry this is short, but i literally couldn't come up with more for this :((( i'm trying to push through my little writer's block and put out as many fics as i possibly can while i still have a little time (i have my first exam on Thursday and I have so much shit to learn it's actually not even funny, but here i am writing fics instead of doing just that, yay me)
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In all fairness, Oscar had been well warned about Lando and his girlfriend’s antics post-races. Given that the walls in the motorhome were very thin, as Oscar had stated previously, the team felt like they should let Oscar know what he was in for.
He hadn’t quite taken to heart what he had been told. He had been thinking to himself, how bad can it actually be? And oh boy, it was bad.
You and Lando had made a pact from the beginning of your relationship and when you started coming to all of his races that you would do something to celebrate his every race outcome, no matter how good or bad. You vowed to see every race as something positive and take something from each one.
The McLaren team had become accustomed to your shenanigans, knowing not to go anywhere near Lando’s driver room in the hours after the race. They had come to learn to stay away the hard way, if you know what I mean.
And yet, Oscar chose to ignore them. Why? He didn’t even know.
Maybe it was just pure curiosity, maybe it was ignorance, one could only make suppositions. 
If he had managed not to hear anything that even remotely resembled the warnings he had been given up until that moment, he was in for a treat this time.
You had attended the Miami GP with Lando, catching a break from your studies and having promised him that he wouldn’t have to go to a race alone after failing to attend Japan. And imagine the joy you had felt once Lando had taken the checkered flag in P1. Scratch that, imagine what was going through your mind about the celebrations you were about to have with Lando as soon as he came back to the motorhome ;).
Your boyfriend had been thinking the exact same way, trying to make his way back to the hospitality as soon as he possibly could, but still politely stopping for interviews and photos or autographs.
But once he finally reached his room and saw you waiting for him, dressed only in your underwear, he knew he was in for an enormous treat.
Oscar hadn’t heard Lando get back. He had been so deep into thought and so focused on the music he had been listening to with headphones on that he hadn’t heard the door opening, the squeals that you let out once Lando had practically pounced on you as soon as he locked the door. 
However, he was pulled out of his thoughts when he started hearing bangs, moans and dirty talking through his wall. At first he had thought he was hearing things. There was no way you were actually celebrating that loudly, right?
Wrong.
When he turned off the music and took off his headphones, he realized just how fucking loud you guys were being.
He didn’t even know how to react. What was he even supposed to do? Was he just supposed to leave his room and find somewhere else to hang out until you guys were done? Should he knock on your door and ask you guys to keep it down? No, Lando deserved the win and winding down whatever way he saw fit.
Sighing, he felt himself growing redder once the sounds on the other side of the wall only intensified. He couldn’t just stand around and listen to his teammate probably getting the fuck of his life after his maiden win, so he figured he would just get something to eat and hang out with either Mark or Logan.
The moment a member of the PR team, David, had seen him coming from his room, his cheeks a heavy crimson and refusing to make eye contact with anyone, he realized Oscar had just been the victim of Y/N and Lando.
“You heard them, didn’t you?” David asked him, an amused smile stretching on his face.
Oscar blushed even heavier, if that was even possible. Shyly, he nodded, making David laugh and pat him on the back.
“I didn’t think they were actually that bad” Oscar said, playing with his fingers as his ears could still pick up the noises he had done his best to avoid.
“We tried telling you, you didn’t want to believe us” David chuckled, patting him on the back again as he departed.
When you and Lando finally emerged from his room almost an hour later, the both of you laughed when you noticed how Oscar was avoiding eye contact with the both of you.
Poor Oscar…
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5sospenguinqueen · 1 day
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Growing Pains | Oscar Piastri x Reader
Summary: When fans begin commenting about your future plans, Oscar begins to worry that your long-term relationship is preventing you from truly experiencing life. 
Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Self-sacrificing Oscar haha. Childhood sweethearts
Female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest.
2023 season
Less baby-fever, more baby panic haha. I'm so sorry if these aren't as baby-centered as the others. I've been trying to make them a little different.
Main Masterlist
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, danielricciardo and others
YourUserName i love weekends off with you <3
978 comments
oscarpiastri you didn’t post the one of me with my face in the water? that is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me
→ YourUserName only because your ass was in the air and i’m the only one allowed to see that 
→ oscarpiastri oh
→ User1 we would like to see this photo please and thanks - and not just for the ass
landonorris @ oscarpiastri well, now you’ve told the internet that it exists, we need to see it
→ User2 lando is one of us 
danielricciardo i’m still your favourite australian though, right? 
→ YourUserName no. i’m my own favourite australian
→ oscarpiastri you tell ‘em, sweetheart 
→ User3 SWEETHEART!!!
User4 i know they’re only young but when can we expect a wedding
→ User5 they’ve been together for long enough. they’re practically already married at this point
→ User6 their wedding would be so cute
→ User7 can you imagine all the f1 appearances we would get? 
→ User8 mark webber in a tux 🤤
mclaren our favourite young couple
→ landonorris hey! 
→ mclaren you and daniel don’t count anymore
→ danielricciardo hey! 
User9 papaya wedding when? 
logansargeant did oscar pay you to make it look like he was good at other sports?
→ YourUserName i thought we decided you weren’t allowed to bully him anymore
→ logansargeant we decided nothing! 
→ oscarpiastri at least i know what a kilometer is
→ User10 RAHHH 🦅🦅
User11 how can someone look so good after being in the water? i look like a drowned rat
→ User12 she literally takes the yummiest pics of oscar
→ User13 oh, i was talking about y/n. he’s just ken
→ User14 his job is beach
oscarpiastri just posted
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liked by mclaren, charles_leclerc and others
oscarpiastri my favourite girl 💕
2,664 comments
YourUserName don’t let suzie hear you say that. she’ll be distraught
→ oscarpaistri maybe you should drive her more and she’ll love me less
→ YourUserName whoa, i thought this was an appreciation post for me, why are you throwing shade
→ landonorris why would she drive her own car when she has you to do it for her?
→ YourUserName exactly! 
→ User15 wait, suzie is a car? i was hoping they had a pet or something we didn’t know about 
→ User16 their family includes them and a car, apparently 
→ YourUserName be realistic. there’s more than one car in this relationship 
User17 in the paddock wearing a lando shirt?
User18 the disrespect to have lando’s # on her back but be stood in front of oscar’s garage 
logansargeant yet i suggest she support driver #2 and i had holes poked in all my juice boxes 
→ oscarpiastri you can never prove that was me
→ YourUserName i have video footage
landonorris everyone can relax, she’s wearing the shirt because she lost a bet. oscar was a good sport about it 
→ YourUserName i got soooo many dirty looks that day. the fans did not like me
→ oscarpiastri i still think you’re beautiful. not as beautiful with MY number splashed only our back but
→ YourUserName you know 81 is my favourite number
→ YourUserName (and sometimes 16)
→ charles_leclerc forza ferrari
→ User19 everyone is a ferrari fan
→ User20 everyone wants to know what the bet was
→ arthur_leclerc @ YourUserName whoa, hey. you once told me i was your favourite leclerc
User21 these two are literally my favourite couple in the world 
User22 the fact that they fell in love during the most awkward years of a person’s life and have continued to love each other when they got hot
→ User23 they saw the potential in each other 
User24 the fact that he’s loved you since you were 14 and continues to love you more each day 🥹
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by racerbia, alex_albon and others 
YourUserName i’m so proud of you, osc. another podium in a long-line of many. thank you for sharing your joy and success with me. 🧡🧡
when i befriended the nerdy 12 year old who wouldn’t stop talking about engines, i never imagined that you would be dragging me around the world. don’t get me wrong, i always believed you would make it this far. i just thought i would’ve managed to break free from you before then 😂 however, i’m so glad i didn’t because you are my favouritest guy in the whole world, and seeing you on that podium made me cry more than watching the supernatural series finale 
1,220 comments
YourUserName oh, and well done to lando on P3, i guess
→ landonorris you guess???
User1 time for another round of: is he looking at lando or y/n in the 3rd pic?
→ landonorris it was y/n this time :( 
→ YourUserName you get loads of pics of him looking at you like this, let me have my moment
→ User2 girl, the fact that you got lando AND y/n to respond to your comment
→ User1 dying!
oscarpiastri thank you for coming with me around the world and supporting me no matter what. you’ve been one of my biggest supporters these past 8 years and i don’t think i could’ve done it without you by my side. i love you so much, even if i come second to dean winchester 🧡🤍
→ User3 P2 in your relationship as well
→ oscarpiastri only because y/n is p1
→ YourUserName stop making me love you more and more each day. i might explodeeeee
User4 my parents. i need them to adopt me because they’re just so cute 
mclaren we’re so proud of our aussies
→ danielricciardo you used plural?
→ mclaren oscar and y/n
→ danielricciardo she doesn’t even race!
→ YourUserName and yet i replaced you 
→ danielricciardo everyone says you’re so nice but i see you for who you really are
→ YourUserName which is better than you! 
→ User5 y/n y/l/n for alphatauri 2024
→ danielricciardo no.
User6 drenched in champagne is a good look for piastri 
User7 the pirelli cap needs to stay on during sex 
→ User8 is this y/n’s secret account 
landonorris this is so cute. excuse me whilst i puke
→ User9 just admit you’re jealous and move on
logansargeant i can confirm that they’re this mushy about each other in public as well
→ YourUserName and i can confirm that logan cried with me watching supernatural, and seeing osc on the podium 
→ logansargeant dude! 
→ YourUserName you forget, i’ve also known you for years and have many embarrassing memories of you
→ logansargeant y/n y/l/n is the best person i know
User10 when people ask me if f1 is a serious sport, i just show them their comment sections
aussiegrit so proud of our boy
                   liked by YourUserName
maxverstappen1 a delight to share the podium with your boyfriend for the 2nd time
→ User11 y/n’s boyfriend and y/n’s boyfriend’s boyfriend on the podium with max 2x in a row 
→ YourUserName omg max verstappen commented on my post! you’re like my favourite driver ever
→ oscarpiastri you agreed not to mention this in public
→ User12 i don’t think this is a joke considering there’s a redbull in the background of one of these pics 
→ charles_leclerc @ YourUserName i thought it was me
→ landonorris i thought it was me
→ fernandoalo_official jokes on all of you, she told me it was me
→ aussiegrit you're all wrong. it's me
User13 if you guys are after a third, i’m free?
→ User14 how could you say this to the cutest couple on the grid
→ User15 because y/n has said worse and is more unhinged than we think but oscar’s pr manager has gotten to her recently 
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User1 i’m gonna have to agree with @ OscarPastryyy just because they’ve been together forever doesn’t change the fact that they’re still young
→ User2 they probably just wanna focus on being together and travelling the world
User3 agreed. yeah they’ve been together for a while but that doesn’t mean that having children is their only option. they’re still technically children themselves 
NicolePiastri he doesn’t know how to do his own washing. trust me, he’s not ready for children. Y/N on the other hand, has been keeping that boy alive since they were 12
→ User4 omg we love you 
→ User5 nobody humbles an f1 racer more than mama piastri 
→ User6 he may have 2m followers on insta but he’s not too old to be embarrassed by his mother 
User7 @ CHICKEN!! is so real for that. max is only 4 years old than them and yet everyone talks about him, kelly and P being a family and when are him and kelly getting married, but y/n and oscar have been together for longer than kelly has been a mother so… 
User8 i think people only focus on their age and forget about their experience. i went to school with them and they still act just as infatuated with each other now as they did when they were 14.
→ User9 but they’ve also only been with each other. perhaps they should try dating other people before committing to the rest of their lives 
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by aussiegrit, logansargeant and others
YourUserName quando a Roma 🇮🇹❤️ tagged: YourBFF, YourBFF2
1,009 comments
YourBFF i told you that pic of you by the fountain would look amazing
→ YourBFF2 i think if we pumped another cocktail in her, she’d have gone swimming in it
→ YourUserName stop making me sound like a sloppy drunk
→ YourBFF you were sloppy anyway 
→ YourUserName bitch
→ YourBFF2 it’s part of being in your 20s. welcome! 
→ YourUserName not funny. 
User1 guys, oscar hasn’t commented. he always comments on posts with her in, even if they’re posted by friends/family 
→ User2 he did like though?
mclaren orange drinks to support your favourite f1 team this weekend?
→ YourUserName you know it. papaya pride! 
→ YourBFF2 she actually said that to herself when she took the pic. you’ve indoctrinated her
lilymhe cute post but you’re coming to sichuan with me next
→ YourUserName just name a date and time, and i’m yours
→ alex_albon what is it with you and stealing f1 drivers’ partners 
→ YourUserName i think that just means i have the most rizz 
User3 you mean to tell me that she’s in rome the weekend that oscar is all the way in america? so, she’s not going to be at the race 🤔
→ User4 she doesn’t have to go to every one
→ User5 i know but she’s said loads of times that she tries to make all of them
→ User6 yeah but she’s on a girls holiday. this might have been the only time that y/n and her friends were all free at the same time? 
User7 how are you so pretty 
User8 all of you calling y/n a bad girlfriend but are we forgetting that they’ve already been together for 8 years, and have known each for 10. they’re at the point where they don’t have to be glued to the hip all the time
→ User9 literally. like they’ve been together longer than some of the married couples on the grid 
→ User10 yeah but it’s just unlike them. how do they go from being infatuated with each other to distancing within 2 weeks without there being some cause? it wasn’t a natural progression
User11 you look so beautiful in that dress. White is definitely your colour 
logansargeant i can’t believe you didn’t bring me back a gift.. you said you would
→ YourUserName i also said i’d wear a williams t-shirt one race but we all know that ain’t happening
→ User12 is this logan shooting his shot? 
alexandrasaintmleux i knew that would dress would look good on you. you look radiant 
→ YourUserName my favourite shopping partner 
→ charles_leclerc my girl has good taste
→ YourUserName not if she’s dating you 
→ charles_leclerc you have hurted my feelings 
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User13 y/n hasn’t been able to terrorise oscar on social media and it’s showing because sis has been dragging the grid in their comments haha
→ User14 she’s so funny. i bet they’re fearful anytime her name pops up in their notifs 
User15 i love how we all sound insane to other people but us oscy/n stans know we’re right because they’ve been a constant media presence since his f2 days 
User16 we may not sound crazy but i sure hope we are because they are the only reason i believe in love 
User17 i hate to say it but what if we’re the reason they broke up? we couldn't stop talking about them getting married and having kids lately, and what if it freaked them out… 
User18 i can’t imagine oscar piastri without y/n y/l/n. i only really follow f1, not f2 but he’s always been oscar and y/n since he started. it would be akin to not seeing him in mclaren 
mclaren just posted
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liked by YourUserName, ln4 and others 
mclaren get you a teammate who looks at you the way these two look at each other #unitedstatesgp
1,559 comments
oscarpiastri 🧡
racerbia team papaya! 🧡
User1 so exciting to see lando on the podium again
User2 poor oscar, such a shame he had to retire after minimal contact
User3 not to be that person but it was defo because y/n wasn’t there. she’s his good luck charm 
YourUserName well done lando! 
User4 anyone else getting more and more confused by oscar and y/n’s relationship purely because of their media presence
→ User4 for info, she posts that she’s in rome the weekend he is in america, proving that she isn't attending the race. oscar likes the post but doesn’t comment despite y/n looking beautiful in that post (1/4)
→ User4 then she’s not spotted in the paddock, further proving that she’s defo not at the race. plus, whenever oscar was asked about her during interviews, lando quickly changed the topic for him (2/4)
→ User4 then oscar crashes and y/n doesn’t post ANYTHING about the race but when he dnf’d in bahrain and belgium, she put numerous posts on her story about how proud of him she was (3/4)
→ User4 and now she congratulates lando on the mclaren post but doesn’t even mention her long-term boyfriend?? (4/4)
→ User5 you have too much time on your hands and are reading too much into things. i’m sure she’s facetimed him to see how he’s doing and told him she’s proud of him 
User6 okay but if a man looked at me the way oscar and lando look at each other, i would marry him on the spot 
User7 the way lando and oscar are always smiling/laughing when they’re together 
User8 oscar has such golden retriever energy 
danielricciardo @ oscarpiastri first your girlfriend tries stealing my seat, and now you’re stealing my lando. you two are giving aussie's a bad name
→ landonorris you’re the only for me, boo
→ danielricciardo don’t lie. the pictures show everything 
User9 looking forward to a better result for oscar next weekend
User10 i miss y/n and oscar. we’ve only been without them for two weeks. i don’t know how i’m going to cope with the rest of our lives 
maxfewtrell lando used to look at me like that :( 
User11 i miss when we couldn't tell if he was looking at lando or y/n like that. now we know it’s lando because y/n isn’t in the paddock 
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Note: Their texts at the end kinda resolve things (and, yes, he crumbled after just one race without y/n) so let me know if you want a Part 2 showing their future? As he doesn't really need a redemption so no Part 2 planned as of yet.
As always, requests are welcome!
GUESS WHAT’S COMING NEXT WEEK!!
A Lando x Plus Size Reader
I’m kidding. (I’m not. I am actually releasing that) but also Danny Ric Baby Fever Part2!!!!
Baby Fever Angst
Daniel's Version | Max's Version | Lando's Version
Lance's Version | Charles' Version
Tag list
@bibissparkles @barcelonaloverf1life @rlalliehayes @dullypully @softtina @callsignwidow @lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @majusialikesfastcars @luckyladycreator2 @bborra @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @sbrn0905 @hc-dutch @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @reguluscrystals @peachiicherries
1K notes · View notes
claypgeon · 18 hours
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and they were roommates | oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x youtuber!reader
summary: you and oscar are trying to keep your relationship a secret, so when you move in together you tell everyone your just roommates, it isn’t as believable as you thought it would be.
notes; the streets are saying oscar has officially moved to monaco ?? so here’s this:
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liked by oscarpiastri, and 210,838 others!
yourusername: new city? new roommate!
view comments below!
user1: y/n in her monaco era ???
user2: i did NOT see this coming
user3: wait but i’ll miss your old roommate
user4: RIGHT ??? she was so funny 😭
user5: oscar in the likes ???
user6: what is oscar doing on a y/n post 😨
user7: what if HES the new roommate…
user8: reaching 😭
user9: oscar this oscar that WHENS THE BEW VIDEO ??? ITS BEEN WEEKS
user10: roommate? you’re a like gazillionaire why do you need a roommate ??
user11: why do you need a roommate ?? you’re rich ???
user12: hmmm something’s off
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris, and 726,028 others!
yourusername; new video with my new roommate! enjoy :)))
view comments below!
user13: roommate???? not with the way he looks at you
user14: AHHH NEW VIDEO
user14: OMG I LOVED IT
user14: IT WAS SO FUNNY ????
user14: YOU AND OSCAR ARE HILARIOUS TOGETHER
user15: are you SURE youre just roommates ???
user16: roommates don’t look at roommates that way 😾
user17: i watched the video, and i honestly think you guys should just order out from now on…
user18: why is oscar looking at y/n like shes the beautiful girl on planet earth
user19: because she is ??? 🙄
user20: these two are DEFINITELY not just roommates
user21: i don’t think i’ve ever seen roommates who look like they are restraining themselves from kissing every second of the day ??
user22: no yall are definitely dating….
user23: RIGHT ??? because this whole ‘roommate’ DOESNT MAKE SENSE!!!!
user23: LIKE THEY ARE BOTH RICH, WHY DO THEY NEED TO HAVE A ROOMMATE???
user24; the way they both so polite cat coded
user25: if you aren’t already dating, i’m going to need you both to start IMMEDIATELY.
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, and 835,017 others!
yourusername; why do i always pick rock? anyways guys yes i am dating oscar jack paistri, and he’s keeping me hostage.
view comments below!
user26: HELLOOO?????
user27: the feet pic ???
yourusername: yeah oscar’s really into feet ☹️
oscarpiastri: NO IM NOT????
user28: oh i love this…
user29: omg the love letter…
user30: clap if you’re suprised!!
user31: dead silence
user32: it’s kinda easy to tell you’re dating when you look at each other the way you do
landonorris: I KNEW IT!!!
yourusername: yeah we told you last year…
landonorris: exactly? I KNEW IT.
user33: omg he writes you LOVE LETTERS ??? @/user33boyfriend do better.
user34: wow i’m so lonely
user35: i have no idea who this people are, but instagram showed me this literally 20 minutes after my bf broke up with me
user36: so😭happy😭for😭you😭
user37: WHEN IS IT MY TURRN
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liked by, landonorris, yourusername, and 924,104 others!
oscarpiastri; she always picks rock. yes im dating THEE y/n l/n
view comments below!
yourusername; never beating the foot lover allegations i fear…
oscarpiastri: YOU STARTED THOSE ALLEGATIONS
yourusername: AND YOURE NOT BEATING THEM
user38: omg the locket 🥹🥹
user39: how long do you think they’ve been dating
user40: twitter detectives are SPECULATING 3 years or so ??
user41: how did they keep this a secret for SO long
user42: you like feet don’t you oscar…
user43: THIS IS SO CUTE IM HYPERVENTILATING
user44: THE LOCKET, THE MATCHING SLIPPERS, THE CUTE SOCKS?? LITERALLY SO CUTEYEYDJDKSS
user45: “she always picks rock” “why do i always pick rock?” i feel left out and i DONT LIKE IT
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goldsbitch · 17 hours
Text
the last time I pick you up
Moving blues hits hard. Y/N and Lando are finally letting go of her old apartment, which brings out strong emotions, that you need to burn out somehow.
warning: smut, no protection
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It's been long time coming - finally moving together after countless times of flipping a coin to determine which apartment you and Lando would spend your free hours and sometimes even days.
His place was spacious and the location was obviously the biggest asset. But god, was it an close to an empty wasteland. True "lad's" apartment, up to a point you were surprised he had a bed (without a bed frame, of course...). Your place was a true home - decorations, pillows, candles and full stacked skincare. Even though it lacked in size and the plumbing was more than questionable, it had a soul and you'd poured loved into your rented apartment over the time you'd spend there.
However, it was becoming clear that your relationship stable and secure enough to get rid of one side of the logistics equation that was dating a racing driver.
So, moving it was. They say moving is one of the most stressful mundane experience in one's life and you couldn't agree more. You were stripped of the usual duties, because Lando insisted about him paying for premium movers and you didn't object for more than 30 seconds.
But the sentimental "last visit" is something you can't pay someone to do for you. The walk through the memory lane was all up to you.
After few hours you were almost done sorting things out into two piles, one would join you in Lando's apartment, the other one was being left behind for someone else to get over to a charity shop.
When Lando finally came to pick you up, he found you sitting on the floor, knee deep in the cocktail of conflicting emotions.
"Baby? You here?" he called before entering the living room. You looked up at him, weak tears rolling in you eyes, unable to speak at first.
Lando stopped when he saw you, surprised at finding you sitting on the floor like that and then immediately went to sit sit next to you and hug you.
"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, half concerned, half confused.
You tried to surpress the wet drops in your eyes. This was stupid anyway, right? After few moments of Lando's confused look and his hand on your cheek, you finally looked back at him.
"This is the last time you pick me up here," you said in a low tone and it was like you took the lid of your memories.
The first night he spent here, the first one you talked through, unable to stop the conversation, the many nights he fucked you senselessly and hours spent cuddling under the bedsheets.
The way how this apartment provided you a safe space in the first weeks when you dated, hidden safely from the harsh judgy look the public imposed on you so cruelly at the beginning.
You got to know him here. Waited impatiently many times for his key to finally click in the front door, his tired post-race face, often still holding marks from his helmet, because he would jump on the plane the first thing, just get back to you for few hours. You remember how you laughed, when he insisted on installing his weird neck exercise device, because it meant he could spend more time with you. He tried to teach you how to assist him, and then laughed at you, because you were just so naturally bad at this stuff.
You recall the one afternoon when you came back from a meeting and found him sitting in your bathtub, which was filled up with slowly melting ice-cubes. His argument was, that he needed a post work out ice bath and there was nothing like that around where you lived. This time it was you who laughed, when you saw how much ice he had to buy. Lando was a cheeky guy, so once he got out of the ice bath, he chased you around your apartment, naked, with the intention to snuggle you into his cold, icy embrace.
Lando was taken back by the glassy look in your stoic face. "I know. But, if you look at it from a different perspective, this is the last time I pick you up. From now on, we'll be meeting at our home." He spoke slowly, perhaps to make his words more impactful.
You smiled, knowing well enough that was the best part of it. Still, the melancholy lingered in stronger way then you'd have ever expected.
"No more of that weird lady upstairs who always gave me angry looks after I fucked you hard," he tried to lighten up the mood, which worked and you let out a snort laugh while wiping small tears from your cheeks.
"Yeah, I am definitely not going to miss that," you said, yet still there was a sense of leaving a part of your life behind, a part that you would adorn for the rest of your life. The only hope you had that you and Lando would be able to continue on making priceless memories anywhere the two of you were.
"Y/N, I think it's time to finish sorting the stuff out and grab something to eat. We can go that favorite café of yours," he suggested after few moments of silence.
You took a deep breath. "Yes, I'd love that," you turned to him and gave a light peck on his lips. Lando immediately turned that into a deep french kiss, which took you by surprise a little. He was never a words person and you could finally feel from the way how he kissed you so eagerly, that he was also emotional about this move.
"You're the love of my life," you said the signature sentence you two developed naturally, instead of saying a simple I love you.
"And you're mine," he responded with the signature assurance that followed that sentence.
//
The two of you slowly arrived to the point where most of the stuff was sorted, decisions were made and it was time to say goodbye.
A shock of sudden anxiety ran through you. "Lando. I still don't have the necklace." He knew well enough which one you were talking about. It was the first one he ever gave you and one that you held so dearly that it made him proud. But still, in his eyes it was just an object. One that you misplaced and could not find for weeks now.
"It's probably at my apartment anyway," he said, trying to let you go of it. He already had a replacement ordered anyway.
"Let me just check under the bed. Haven't looked there yet," you said and strolled over to the now stripped bed. He watched you, as you bent over in your cute summer dress that casually showed the curve of your ass as you searched under the bed. There was something so primal for him about seeing you like that.
"Y/N, you know this is a very dangerous move from your part, right?" he said, leaning over the door frame and enjoying the view.
"Come on, Lando," you laughed, as you desperately kept looking for the necklace, with no luck whatsoever. "This is serious."
"Oh, I never said anything different," he smirked, letting his thoughts run into one place and one place only.
"Omg, Lando!" you screamed, in a very different tone, alerting him immediately.
"What?" he asked, tuning into your worry. You got up with a horrified face, as if you'd just seen a ghost. Unable to speak, you just stared at him.
"What?" he repeated, less seriously this time. Knowing you, it must have been nothing.
"Oh my god, I am going to get in so much trouble with the landlord!"
He looked at you sheepily. "Do I have to look there myself or are you going to tell me?"
You closed your eyes. "The floor is like severely damaged. We're talking like, deep marks. Under all of the corners of the bed."
It took him a second to get the dots connected before his eyes went wide and the smarted smug appeared on his face. "Really?" he said proudly. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. He sneaked around you and took a quick look under the nearest bed corned.
"Ohoo, nice!," he laughed, even more proud than before. "This is from us, right?"
His smugness was a little contagious, you had to admit it. "Of course, who else Lando. In fact, that's your damage, so you're paying for it!"
He choked, taking few steps towards you. "Oh am I?"
You bit your lip, as he closed of your exit with his right arm, putting on the door frame and pushing you towards it. "Yes, you are...It's from you moving the bed."
The mood changed really quickly. You knew the look in his face well enough. He was shooting arrows, making your heartbeat faster, breath shorter and mind suddenly focused on one thing and one thing only. Having him, all the way in, wrapped around and inside of you. He pulled your chin up with his thumb and subconsciously mirror your lip biting. At this point, you were completely pushed to the door frame, his torso pulling into your. "Well, if I'm already paying for damages, I think I deserve to make it count, one last time," he said and moved his hand over to your chest, causing you to let out a breath out. He knew well enough what kind of an effect he had on you. Few moments of painfully arousing eye contact and you finally put your hands behind his neck and kissed him again. With the energy only young adults have, he twisted his tongue with yours, bit your lip gently and in the meantime picked you up and moved you the short distance over to the bed. Your thoughts were all wrapped up around how great his body felt, how his intoxicated smell completely clouded your mind and how you'll get to have him on this old bed of yours for one last time.
He didn't even bother taking your dress off, he just pushed it up and started working you up with his fingers. This high he gave you was a familiar ground at this point. And most possibly your absolutely most favorite place on this planet. While sharing messy kisses and loosing yourself in the growing pleasure, you went to unbuckle his belt and stroke him slowly. He didn't wait long before he pulled back to take his shorts off and you finally had full access. You stroked him few times, before he pinned your arms above your head. "My bills, my playground," he said and his hands began to roam your body all the way down to the hem of your dress. He didn't even bother taking your underwear off, just pushed it to the side and slid into you, like he had hundreds times before. Flashes of the countless encounters you've had on this bed flashed like a film in your mind. You loved this man. He was the ultimate drug for you. Intoxicating above levels you could have ever imagined. If there ever was a home, if was right there - with him inside you. He pushed slowly few times before finally slamming into you full speed, full force, knowing well enough it was what you craved anyway. Hot breath was only cut with the symphony your soft moans and sounds the squeaky bed made. Lando held your legs pressed up to your stomach, while you hugged your chest, making your tits pushed up for him to kiss occasionally. You reached your high twice before he released himself onto your dress and collapsed next to you. Short of breath, the two of you still kissed. "Sorry for the dress," he said apologetically and you had to laugh a little. For this feeling you'd stain anything you ever owned.
"I know you have a thing for leaving traces behind, baby," you replied, being guilty of using this little kink of his to your advantage many times in the past.
He bit his lip and brushed his nose agains yours. "Guilty as charged."
Your breath was slowly coming back to a regular tempo. "I should get changed before we go," you said, intent on leaving soon.
His hand locked you in as he traced lined on your hips. "Let's stay just a little. I'm going to miss the way how we made this bed squeaky over time," he said, making you smile and blush.
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Text
Violet to Colin: "You're one of my most sensitive children."
The fandom: "How can she say that! Anthony, Benedict bla, bla bla..."
Colin is ONE of her most sensitive children. ONE, just ONE of them. And she's right.
ONE OF HER MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN
He was the only one who indulged Violet and let her introduce him to debutantes in s1, while Anthony fucked his mistress and Ben went to orgies.
He was a complete gentleman with Marina. AND defended her when Anthony implied something about her.
And when he learned the truth, he confessed that he would have married her if she had told him the truth. 🥹
He danced with Pen after Cressida bullied her.
He wrote dozens of letters that his family of 8 could not care to respond to often. There are 8 of them!
He worried about Ben in s2 and supported him on his application to the Academy.
He learned the truth of Jack Featherington and instead of simply leaving, he did something about it. Not only did he help the Featherington family, but he saved other lords from being scammed.
He apologized to Will, explained why he acted rudely AND made amends to repair the damage by bringing men to Will's club.
He returned with gifts for everyone, but he seemed particularly thoughtful to his sisters and mother. A perfume for Hyacinth, music for Francesca, and a book for Eloise 🥹. Violet was so moved by his gift and here we have a lovely headcanon on the watch:
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Then with Pen...
He runs after Pen, despite other men wanting to know about his adventures.
He acknowledges his mistake and immediately tries to apologize to Pen in the Four Seasons Ball.
The next day, he comes back with a heartfelt apology.
Then, he offers her help, despite the risk of scandal and embarrassment for him. He knows Pen has no one else.
He goes to see Pen at night to make sure she's ok. And when she asks him for a kiss, he does it so sweetly.
He is brave enough to leave the men who just want to know about his sexual life.
HE WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK, as soon as he put himself together and understood his feelings. He didn't play jealousy games like others, he went and put his heart on the table. He didn't even know about Pen's feelings and he risked it!
Some extracts from Colin's journals show that his family is always in his thoughts.
You can see why Violet, as the good mother that she is, can tell how sensitive he is.
Colin travels during the summer and comes back during the season to be with his family. It angers me that people think he's selfish for this when Benedict also abandons the family to fuck.
And yet, both Colin and Ben are sensitive. BOTH OF THEM, Francesca too. I wouldn't call Hyacinth or Gregory sensitive right now, and before s3, I wouldn't include Eloise either.
Anyway, I needed to get this out because I am so fucking tired of Kanthonies and Benophies making tantrums about this line.
I'm sure when s4 comes, we are going to see a moment between Violet and Ben where she acknowledges how amazing he is and everything he has done for the family. But not now, because this is COLIN'S SEASON.
(NOTE: If you are thinking of reblogging this post with the tag #Colin is the most sensitive, kindly fuck off. I made this post to fight the Kanthonies and Benophie that are attacking Colin, not to validate your own need to make Colin superior to other characters. HE IS ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN, ONE)
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tayytayy12 · 2 days
Text
Flashback when you met me | OP81 x singer!Reader
Summary | The lead up and the result of Oscar and Reader meeting for the first time.
Warnings | Past relationship mentioned, swearing
Notes - Reader and Lando are childhood best friends, Oscar’s still in F2 at this time
FaceClaim - SabrinaCarpenter
Oscar x Nonsense series (you don’t have to read any of these to understand this, it’s just works with Oscar and the same love interest if you’d like to read them.)
—————
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, GracieAbrams and 2,826,022 | posted November 26th
Yourusername - Meeting you and singing and dancing with you for the past year on tour is a core memory I’ll carry with me always, and I can’t believe it’s over already. Even though most of the songs that I sung in this tour I can no longer relate to, I’m happy that when I look back in them I won’t be reminded of bad memories, but instead all the love you’ve shown me. Thank you for making my dreams come true, and thank you for all the extra love and care you’ve shown me these past weeks. I love you, I’ll see you soon 💕
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User1 - I CANT BELIEVE TOURS OVER ALRDY OMFG
LandoNorris - Mate we’ve established this, don’t cry over weirdo little boys, you deserve better.
Yourusername - He complimented me someone get a picture
LandoNorris - I take it back.
User2 - I love their friendship omfg
User3 - Forever in denial that I didn’t get any tickets 🫢
User4 -The pic of her crying is so real
User5 - I HATE Y/EX/N
User6 - FR, LIKE HOW CAN YOU CHEAT ON Y/N Y/L/N
User7 -The captions so cuteee 😭💕
User8 - ILY
User9 - Why is she crying?
User10 - The song she was singing, you belong with me, was about her ex and a couple weeks ago photos leaked of him cheating on her with some girl multiple times and he came out and said that he didn’t care and that he’d do it again because he’s a asshole, but when she had to sing the sings that were about him on tour she probably got a bit emotional.
User11 - She’s going MIA for ages now I can feel it
LandoNorris
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Liked by - Yourusername, Lilymhe and 1,005,362 others | posted December 14th
Tagged | @/Yourusername
LandoNorris - The duo you all missed is reunited cause I’m dragging this lazy, sad bitch out of bed to be my plus one to the FIA Christmas party tonight 🥳
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Yourusername - I hate you.
LandoNorris - You wasn’t saying that when you was laughing your ass off ur bed 🤨
Yourusername - Shut up
User12 - SHES BEEN MIA FOR THREE WEEKS
User13 - Poor Y/n 😭
User14 - Lando always delivers with the funny Y/n pics
User15 - I need a friendship like theirs
Yourusername - I’m telling your mum that you dragged me out of bed by my ankles
LandoNorris - Pls don’t she loves you more than me
Yourusername - I’m telling Oliver too
LandoNorris- YOULL HAVE FUN I PROMISE
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, OscarPiastri and 1,435,028 others | posted December 15th
Yourusername - I hate it when he’s right, but yes I had fun (a lot more than I thought I would and I’ve made a new discovery send help.) ft. The pic I took of Lando’s face when I told him the tea.
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User16 - Y/n Wdym you’ve made a new discovery I’m scared
Yourusername - GIRL ME TOO.
User17 - Y/N WHERE DID YOU GET THAT DRESS OMG
Yourusername - @/Lilymhe closet 🫢
Lilymhe - THEIF (you look hot so I’ll let it slide)
User18 - What happened for Lando to look shocked and happy at the same time IM INVESTED NOW
User19 - Y/ex/n is looking at this and weeping cause imagine losing Y/N. Y/L/N.
LandoNorris - I know something you don’t, I know something you’ll never know 🥳
Yourusername - SHUT UP OR ILL HURT YOU
LandoNorris - Aw ily too
User20 - LANDO TELL US
LandoNorris - I can’t sorry she just chased me around her house with a coat hanger threatening to hang me
User21 - LMAO
User22 - Y/n, it’s been nine months, GIVE US NEW MUSIC PLS
User23 - Don’t be scared Y/n, tell us the new discovery 🫠
Yourusername
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Liked by - OscarPiastri, LandoNorris and 3,653,926 others | posted December 24th
Yourusername - Okay so here’s the deal; my brand new single ‘enchanted’ is out now, surprise !!! It was written and recorded a few nights ago and I had some help writing this in the form of my best friend Lando (who I dragged out of bed at three in the morning because I couldn’t think of a hook, and he came up with a great one so I did the right thing) and it might just happen to be about that new discovery I mentioned.
This is my Christmas present to you all, I love you, I hope you like the song 🤍💕
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User24 - OMG OMG OMG OMG
User25 - ‘Please don’t be in love with someone else’ Y/N WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT GIRL??????
LandoNorris - Now my resume will say Lando Norris: Karting world champion, F2 runner up, F1 podium scorer, and hit song writer
Yourusername - aw you think the songs a hit
LandoNorris - Duh, ofc it will be. I wrote it…?
Yourusername - Ok.
User26 - ‘My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again’ GIRL YOURE DOWN BAD
Yourusername - GIRL IK
Celebrity.sightings
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Liked by - User27 and 82,628 others | posted February 12th
Celebrity.sightings - Famous singers, Y/n Y/l/n (21) spotted out last night with Formula two racing driver Oscar Piastri (21), the two seemed quite happy and comfortable in each others company, apparently the two shared multiple kisses and were spotted out for dinner, all while trying (and failing) to evade paparazzi.
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User28 - IF THEY WAS TRYING TO AVOID PAPARAZZI WHY ARE YOU POSTING THE PICS
User29 - OMG DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THE VID OF THEM IN THE RESTAURANT???!??!?!
User30 - YES OMG WHEN HE KEPTS CALLING Y/N ‘MY LOVE’ EYGCHYECEHDEUNDEUJDEUDJRYH
User31 - THEYRE SO CUTE WHATTTT
User32 - SO THIS IS WHAT WAS HAPPENING DURING THE RADIO SILENCE AFTER SHE DROPPED ENCHANTED
User33 - Who is this vroom vroom man and how did he steal my girl 😩
User34 - Y/n’s fit eating as always tho
Yourusername
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Liked by - OscarPiastri, LandoNorris and 1,636,827 others | posted February 13th
Tagged | @/OscarPiastri
Yourusername - We were gonna do a soft launch but when you’re followed by paparazzi everywhere you go, things don’t always go to plan. But anyway, I love you Oscar, and I’m thankful that lando dragged me out of bed to come to that party cause I met you 💕
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User35 - OMGOMG
User36 - THE BLONDE AND BRUNETTE THEORY IS ALWAYS TRUE
User37 - I wanted a soft launch man I hate the paparazzi
OscarPiastri - Same
Yourusername - Same
LandoNorris - I’m always the reason for all of your happiness
Yourusername - you’re not wrong tbh
OscarPiastri - I love you 🤍
Yourusername - I love you more 💕
OscarPiastri
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Liked by - Yourusername, LoganSargeant and 473,728 others
Tagged | @/Yourusername
OscarPiastri - I was enchanted to meet you too, my love 🤍
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Yourusername - My god I love you so much
OscarPiastri - I love you so much more 🤍
———
398 notes · View notes
burstinn · 2 days
Text
THE EVERY GAY MANS DREAM READER
TALL, BUFF, BIG BOOBS AND ASS everything
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Can't find no good pic for this so..
This post includes:Ghost, Graves, Price, Soap, Nikto, Riptide, Krueger, Konig, Alejandro, Rudy, Gaz, Horangi, Makarov, Velikan, Keegan, Roach. In that order
Yes I wrote all those, yes because I haven't written in a while
Notes:
- NSFW and SFW (Bottom male and top male reader mentioned)
-since y'all like the big buff n' tall male reader, made him bigger and taller basically mixed everything I wrote about male reader, tall, big buff, big cake, big boobs it's like a package in one this will probably be the last of this type of reader since running out ideas. It was hard making original headcanons 💔💔.
-Omg I haven't written in a while so like this might get idk boring?
- Yes again headcanons,you're favs
- strictly MALE READER not Gn rn
- readers age is ambiguous but if you can't think and want an age for reader my thinking is somewhere near late 30s or early 40s
- Some of the HCS have where y'all ain't in a relationship some HCS have y'all r in a relationship
- these headcanons definitely are mischaracterized but let me pretend for a bit 💔💔
- Tiktok got to me now I have brainrot language, so Trigger warning wooohh braiinroot
- can't believe this post was long enough to make my phone lag just a lil bit
- When he first saw you of course he was 😦😧😮
GHOST
- Like okay overkill, like you're taller, buffer and probably have a huger cock??? (Something he can investigate.. For purposes..)
Like you also got smoobs?? A plumpy ass??
Like save some for the rest Jesus 😒😒
- Nonstop staring secretly ofc, You be like in a room then you feel someone staring just to see Ghost somewhere in the corner of the room. You can't tell if he's staring or not but being that you are in an empty room.. Yknow it's kind of obv--
- BUT if you are not in an empty room you will not shake off the staring I mean holy shit look at you like 😨😨🍑✋
- You can literally hear him breathing heavily under his mask like how can he control himself when HE a person who is supposed to be looked up to literally and figuratively now has to look up at YOU?? do you know what does to a person??
-That's right it makes them freaky..
-Probably jerks off to you too
- I mean who doesn't want to get railed by a 7 ft tall man? Especially ESPECIALLY when you've been the supposed dominant person your whole life??
- OMG immediately Cumming to the thought
- I mean he won't mind topping you it also drives his own ego seeing a dominant man get absolutely wrecked, imagine the begging and whining
- plus he won't mind being the person who feels protected not always doing the protecting like 💔💔 he wants to feel protected too 😞
GRAVES
- Immediate gay awakening
- thinks making his western accent more prominent would make you think he sounds more hot
- Will dress up as a cowboy and will will ask (beg) you to do it as well
- because you know.. Hat thing.. Riding.. Graves grabs your hat puts it on his head or Graves grabs his hat puts it on your head, either way one of you is riding something and it ain't a horse
- because of the amazing quote on who ever came up w/ that is "save a horse ride a cowboy"
- Graves is obviously the type of guy to look at your ass and whistle maybe slap it, nah definitely slap it
PRICE
- He thinks of you like a bear
- like You're soo- big and cuddly? Definitely intimidating
- I mean you're near the same age bracket so it's not bad to have some.. Thoughts right?
- You're definitely hairy underneath or not but pls be he wants pubes to tickle his nose
- if you don't have a beard for reader then he would KILL to see have a beard like aughh perfect bear look, if you have a beard immediately cumming(/j) or (not /j)
- Like imagine you and price who are basically like bears like parent bears and and you the other 141 boys are like your children 🥺🥺
SOAP
- DEFINITELY became more gayer
- errrmmm.. Like his eyes are BASICALLY near like chest height
- bumping into you and his face touches your chest like omgg.. Such an accident 💔💔
- Obviously flirting about going to pound town
- like imagine You and Him? In a relationship? Having the most feral sex??? Like it's obv jokes (it's not)
- He would also do anything to see a big man whimper like a little bicth slut, who wouldn't want to see a demon of a man roll his eyes back and whine like a wheoeororoe❤, I mean if he tops I'd imagine him saying "cmon you're a big boy ain't cha'? You can handle a few more inches". While you are also getting the malevolent backshots.
- He would also want a big strong arm to man handle him as he takes the most vigorous backshots known to man
- Have you ever thought or seen a very tall wall like 10 or 11 ft high and you being you, Soap asks (demands) for you to carry him on your shoulder because he wants to see what's over the wall
NIKTO
- intimidating guy and intimidating guy typa relationship but your not in a relationship.. Yet.
- watch him watch you
- shows off his knife collection to you, yes I think he has a knife collection and he will show it to people that he wants to impress (he wants to get freaky with you)
- I like to think if he strips off the gear he gives the most desperate kind of touchy hug, to those he feels close with of course which is you
- lucky you
RIPTIDE
- Offers to teach you how to swim yknow just in case
- there is none, he wants to see you wet
- tells you to wear a white shirt and shorts because its Essential for training, it's a lie he wants to see the water wet your clothes making it stick to your body.. Yknow the white shirt showing whats underneath and the shorts outlining what package you've been hiding even though you weren't really hiding it
- He gets too distracted, the others are too, he forgets how to teach you
KRUEGER
- indefinite eye contact while your doing it
- likes staring into them, if you get shy and look away he will grab your jaw and make you have eye contact with him
- angry fierce ahh eyes
- he's an emotional grumpy guy, rip off his mask and aggressively kiss his face
- He wants the after sex laying on the chest while the other is rubbing their head, goes both ways.
- trace his tattoos and compliment them the bedroom will be locked the whole day, trust 🙏
KÖNIG
- The same as Ghosts
- Imagine being the one to get carried instead of the one carrying
- König would definitely come up to you and ask to be carried while you kiss his face multiple times❤❤
- Imagine how hard he gets because you have to look down at him to talk like HNGRHRRGGGRGRRR
- Definitely likes giving you homemade arts and crafts gear because you know.. The headcanon where König makes his own gear and what if he does it for other people too as gifts💔
- likes seeing you wear his mask it makes him imagine what people see when they see König definitely a change of perspective. He can see how intimidating you are and he gets hard.
ALEJANDRO
- will definitely compliment you in Spanish when talking about you with other people even when you're in front or behind him.
- I mean you don't understand Spanish right?
- if you don't, you're oblivious and only just watch curiously on what he's talking about. Buuut but but if you do understand you don't tell him you undeestrand this thing literally feeds your ego like Alejandro thinks of you this way? 🥺🥺
- Thigh riding type of guy idc who thigh riding
RUDY
- everytime I look at him he looks like a soft vanilla type
- I know he's a strong guy but look at him
- He wants soft sex 😞😞
- He also likes being complimented if you whisper a praise to him when he's doing ANYTHING. Imagine the babies you'd both have together.
- He likes toddlers and babies and if you do too a plus for him,makes him fall even more 💯💯
GAZ
- One time he Got injured and was sitting on the floor and then He saw you running towards him he simultaneously screamed in fear and how hard he got
- Likes to style your clothes, If he was off the military right now he really really likes fashion and if he sees you.. You can't fashion and he sees you wearing.. That, He's appalled, horrified, mortified I'm over exaggerating. But he is now in charge of your fashion now, But if you do know how to style you both will share tips with eachother. You can share different tips too ❤❤
- drags you in his barracks and strips you of your clothes except shorts.. And he's telling you this because he wants to "style" you.
- We both know damn well that's an excuse to get the boombayah freaky on.. He's just to shy to tell you upfront or he thinks it's fun to tease you like that before you get freaky
HORANGI
- gets freaky..
- Like he understands the women who get all giggly and nervous when they see a big man who can destroy them (ignore König 💔)
- is definitely not above thigh crushing, boob crushing, face sitting he'd do all at as long as it's you
- Like one time he pretended he broke his leg and won't let anyone else carry him until you came, acting all princessy and shit as you carry him bridal style to the medics
- He felt like a prince omg
- will definitely get on you and treat your real life size anime men boobs as a squishy toy
- How long is it and will he be able to take it??? Who knows he will find out!! Basically searched how long can someone's cock be if they are built like a god and is 7ft tall in Google
- someone gotta tell me Horangi's height and basic Google searching ain't doing it for me I'm too lazy to search for one line of a spicy headcanon line mb
MAKAROV
- You're basically ascary dog he owns
- You're tall and intimidating
- You can get information out of people quickly
- And he's not above telling you to torture anyone with a strength and body like yours
- most of the time you get the info done and folded
- Makarov uses you for intimidation and strength buuttt if you ever THINK of betraying him he already has a plan to get rid of someone like you
- Can and will turn you into one of those supersoldiers
- Will make you murder people right in front of him for entertainment and will rewward you!
- you know what reward it will be, Because when he asked what reward you wanted you got a bit to freaky you thought you be dead rn but nah he agreed actually he seems to enjoy it more than you do..
VELIKAN
- He's the dog in this one have you heard his voice?? Rough as hell imagine hearing him grunt
- Sounds cocky as hieeeellll too
- Would definitely like showing off to you since he wants to look cool in front of you
- Like you seen velikans skins?? Definitely wears the best ones to show you he can not only be a trained assassin But can also dress cool as hell
- If you compliment him it like makes his day, will not stop thinking about it
- Like a cool person complimenting a cool person like him? Ego boost (It's him feeling gay)
- This guys definitely a smoker (headcanon!!) Because voice sounds like he smoked 100 packs in 1 day and doesn't drink an ounce of water /jk I love him he's so hot.
- So if you want a smoke he purposely hides the lighter saying.. 'Oh no I asked someone elses lighter.. I don't have mine right now' or like 'my lighter ran out of fuel ohh
- So you have to put the cigarette in your mouth as you touch it with his cigarette to light ur own that type of trope 💫💫
- If you're not a smoker he will try his best to not smoke in front of you will use fresh mints to hide his breath of smoke
- after sex he will want a smoke, outside he goes or you both share the one cigarette
KEEGAN
- is it wrong to want to be choked by a big buff meaty arm?
- yknow the tiktok thing where girls put a ribbon on their boyfriends arm and the girls just put their face in the middle as their faces get squished??
- Yeah he wants that but gay
- will try to compare dick sizes even though yours is OBVIOUSLY the superior one!!
- Heads or tails on who's bottoming tonight
- Would like to be wrapped around your arms if you are hugging or sleeping keeps him warm
- Especially when it's snowing will force you to hug with him. ESPECIALLY when your in a mission and your in the tents he will definitely force you to hug it out with him
ROACH
- remember the other tall HC where the reader wasn't taller than König
- yes roach does the same thing here.. He's crawling on you like a tree
- If he wants a kiss instead of asking he crawls up to you and kisses you
- definitely likes to sit on your shoulders as you walk around, he feels tall like that
- this is like a distance relationship 💔💔
- Likes it when you bend over to talk to him also when you bend over when youre doing sum since it's slappable opportunity
- because bent over = double D cake will be slapped
- How will it fit? By the power of friendship of course!!
- probably more of say gex desperation but you get it
- Obviously switch switch
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robintherobiner · 3 days
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What would the Wayne Family and the Bat Family post tiktok
Bruce: videos of him buying new outfits with the material girl sound over it because, according to one post, 'his kids said it was funny and he liked seeing them smile'. on his official account though (the wayne enterprises one) his 'social media manager' posts clips from interviews and soundbites.
Batman: does not have a tiktok.
Dick: posts videos of him either doing gymnastics or of him hanging out with his siblings. Most of the time he is throwing up a peace sign and then Tim and Damian are wrestling in the background and he captions it something along the lines of 'brothers drawing blood in Blud!'
Nightwing: posts videos of short self defense tips/poses, regularly collabs with Red Hood. (not that Jason knows this, Dick just sets up a camera and then goes and bothers his brother until he tries to punch him so he can teach people to block)
Barbara: Posts videos talking about accessibility (both whats available and what should be put in place). if one of the wayne's annoy her, she also will post a compilation of them doing something silly like tripping over thin air or being caught using a hairbrush as a microphone)
Oracle: posts clips of people doing non violent crimes (faces blurred out ofc) with the caption "the eye in the sky sees you, dumbass." because why would you try ack a car on a street with three non-hidden cameras
Jason: doesn't post. anymore. does have an account from when he was a teenager where it's just him doing sped up acting videos to sounds. he has tried to log in to take it down but Bruce changed the password. Brucie regularly comments on different videos like "my baby was such a star... rip sweetie 🕊️🕊️🕊️" and its Jason lip-syncing to fucking Justin Bieber or something
Red Hood: posts videos shitting on Batman. the comments were full of people saying "daddy issues" or "i wanna be a dealer just so you can shoot me babygirl" so he turned them off. sometimes someone (tim) turns them back on and Jason gets bombarded with "BRO IS SERVING CUNT"
Cassandra: posts videos of her doing ballet, or of her showing off her strength. Not on purpose though, she thinks its fun to post videos of her teasing her brothers and the comments are like "WHY DID SHE JUST PICK UP DICK GRAYSON WITHOUT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT WHAT"
Orphan: has a shared account with Batgirl, but she doesn't post on it, just sort of stands in the background as Steph makes funny videos.
Stephanie: enjoys posting videos pretending to be dating both Tim and Cass because she thinks its funny when the internet call her a gold digger and cheater. Bernard (after going public with Tim) occasionally fuels the fire by commenting "lmao get ur bag girl" under a video of her dragging Tim to a resturant
Batgirl: posts videos of her making fun of rogues, and on her shared account with Cass, just joins in on trends but obviously mixing it to fit her (aka: "when Batman lectures you for breaking a criminals leg but your literally just a teenage girl")
Timothy: like Bruce, he has two accounts. One is professional, with him promoting Wayne Enterprises products or whatever. Second one is full of him doing wild shit like skateboarding down the manor stairs or him trying to confuse Bruce with cringey slang. his most popular video though, is of him using the Nepo Baby sound by Fox SZN
Red Robin: posts slideshows of pictures of Gotham. All very aesthetic ones, of good architecture and people laughing together and shit. His bio is "showing you guy why I do what I do." His account is very artsy fartsy but he also was the first batfamily member to get verified
Duke: doesn't post, just likes videos.
Signal: posts videos of him trying to scare the other vigilantes, cuz, yknow, he can go invisible. tell me you wouldn't do that either if you could be invisible. exactly, you can't. He also makes videos about how hard it is to be a teen vigilante.
Damian: videos of his pets doing tricks. also regularly stitches Tim's videos and just deadass insults him. Tim always comments on his stitches with just a singular emoji because he found out it pisses Damian off more when he doesn't have a big reaction
Robin: posts about resources for gothamites. also has a shared account with Superboy (Jon) where they try and sneak up on both Superman and Batman. They have yet to succeed on either one.
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dark-dawn · 1 day
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❝ HEART RATE HIGHS !! ❞ – azriel x reader
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✭ pairing: gym rat ! azriel x archeron ! reader
✭ summary: you swear you only have a gym membership for self-improvement. it’s definitely not to see the cute guy you have a crush on.
✭ contains: modern au, f!reader, college au, but age is vague, fluff, anxious!reader who can’t see that azriel is already a little in love with you, gym culture, alcohol, meddling sisters, because reader is terrible at talking to guys, mutual pining.
✭ word count: 3k+ ✭ a/n: i absolutely love gym fics and i couldn't stop thinking about azriel in a compression shirt, so if i have to suffer, so do you <3
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“wait, did i hear you properly? you’re going to the gym?” nesta’s voice cuts through the quiet murmur of the lecture hall. heads turn, and the professor pauses mid-sentence, frowning at the interruption. you cringe at the sudden attention and whisper an apology, slouching in your seat to avoid the stares.
“you’re acting like i’ve just sprouted wings,” you respond, trying to keep your voice low.
nesta blinks, her surprise melting into scepticism. “well, it is out of character for you. the gym, are you sure?”
“yes.”
“really?”
you nod.
you can’t blame her for being doubtful. among your sisters, you’re the most averse to exercise. even elain, thanks to her gardening, could likely outlift you. but –
“i don’t know if i should be offended that you’re so surprised.”
“hey, it’s not personal,” nesta replies, her voice softer as she glances around the room. the professor had resumed teaching and students were slowly returning their attention to their notes. “it’s just... unexpected. i mean, last time i suggested going for a jog, you looked at me like i’d grown a second head.”
“yeah, well, i just figured it’s about time i start taking better care of myself.”
“what brought this on all of a sudden?”
you shrug, trying to put your thoughts into words. “i guess i just realised that i’ve been neglecting my health lately. with school and everything else going on, i haven’t been feeling so great.”
nesta nods in understanding, letting you continue. neither of you really cared about this class, after all, and it wasn’t the first time you’d been called out for talking through a lecture.
“i just thought it might be a good way to clear my head, you know? like, a chance to zone out and focus on something other than deadlines and exams.”
“if you turn into a gym rat and only eat chicken and rice, i’m disowning you.”
“you’d have to pry ice cream from my cold, dead hands,” you say, nudging nesta with a grin. “nothing can take away my love of carbs and cheesy fries.”
“uh-huh, sure. that’s what they all say until they’re posting pictures of their meal prep on instagram.”
“you have no faith in me, do you?”
“none whatsoever,” she replies with a grin. “but hey, if this gym thing helps you feel better, i’m all for it.”
“if i ever mention a juice cleanse, you have full permission to stage an intervention.”
“deal. and if you lecture me on the importance of pre-workout supplements, i’m kicking you out of the apartment.”
after your year abroad, you found yourself back at the university of velaris, settling into a new rhythm with your three sisters. the four of you had decided to share an apartment, a decision fuelled by equal parts necessity and nostalgia. it wasn’t long before familiar routines took shape amidst the chaos of unpacked boxes and endless debates over furniture placement.
besides, feyre had been spending most of her time at her new boyfriend’s apartment, leaving a bit more breathing room for the rest of you. you hadn’t met him yet, but you’d heard he came from money and his penthouse had skyline views, so you could hardly blame her.
nesta wasn’t a fan, muttering something about “trust fund babies” under her breath whenever his name came up in conversation. but feyre seemed happy, and ultimately, that was what mattered most, even if a twinge of jealousy occasionally crept in.
“you should come with me.”
“i would rather die,” she snorts. “doesn’t mor work out? you should ask her.”
“no way, i’d look even more unfit next to her. i have some pride.”
“wow, so you ask me instead. you’re such a bitch,” she laughs.
as luck would have it, the gym was just a 10-minute walk away, conveniently offering a discounted price for students. the only downside was going alone.
“but i don’t know how to use the equipment,” you groan.
“and you think i do?” your sister retorts.
“well, no, but at least i wouldn’t look like the only idiot.”
“just find someone with muscles and ask them,” she suggests.
“right, of course, because i’m so great at talking to strangers.”
nesta raises an eyebrow, her lips twitching with amusement. “so, what’s your plan then? to stand in the corner and hope the smith machine starts talking to you?”
“maybe,” you mumble, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up your neck. you didn’t even know what a smith machine was until this morning.
nesta lets out a dramatic sigh, shaking her head. “stop being such a baby and put a cute workout outfit on. you’ll be fine.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
you were very much not fine.
the blonde girl at the front desk, with her bouncing ponytail and bright smile that could probably power the entire gym, was very nice. she had given you a tour of the gym, showing you the rows of gleaming equipment and weight racks, and enthusiastically pointed out the array of classes available, from yoga and spin to high-intensity interval training.
she had, however, assumed you knew how to use everything, and you hadn’t been brave enough to correct her.
you had nodded along, trying to absorb the barrage of information she threw at you, but each machine seemed more complicated than the last, and you were positive some of them belonged in a medieval torture chamber. 
but you could do this. if guys who couldn’t even spell “midterm” could end up looking like greek statues, surely you could handle a single gym session. you were smart, you were pretty. everything was going to be just fine. besides, you had watched enough fitness influencers on social media to have a vague idea of what to do. with a deep breath, you reminded yourself that everyone had to start somewhere – or at least that’s what your therapist had told you.
deciding to start your session with something familiar, you made your way over to the row of treadmills. incline walking was hard to mess up. the downside was that it made you feel like you were dying.
thirty minutes later, you were profoundly regretting your decision as you clung to the handrails, legs burning with exertion. sweat had beaded on your forehead, and you couldn’t help but curse under your breath.
with shaky legs, you made your way to the weights, steeling yourself against the familiar wave of self-doubt. this part of the gym was always crowded with an excess of men flaunting their egos, their grunts and posturing only serving to make you feel even more out of place.
you think of nesta and how she would never let anyone make her feel small. she would have your head if she thought you would let any man intimidate you.
deep breaths. everything is fine.
as you attempt to adjust the resistance on the leg press machine, your fingers fumble over the pin that holds the weight stack in place, causing the plates to clang noisily against each other. flushed and annoyed, you would love nothing more than to slink away in embarrassment.
“here, let me.” he crouches beside you and effortlessly rectifies your problem as if you hadn’t been struggling for the past ten minutes.
oh god, he looked like he could go viral on tiktok or be on the front cover of a fitness magazine.
and he was helping you.
stay calm. just ignore the fact that this might be the most beautiful man you’ve ever met.
you couldn’t help but steal glances at the way his muscles flexed beneath the fabric of his black compression shirt, each movement highlighting the definition of his arms and chest.
he was so pretty. you just hoped you didn’t look like you were dying.
“thanks,” you say, your voice coming out a little more breathless than you intended.
oh god, just breathe.
he flashes you a soft smile, “no problem. we’ve all been there.”
you’d like to say you committed to a gym membership for self-improvement.
(you would be lying.)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
before ever stepping foot in a gym, your taste in men was somewhat predictable.
you liked nerdy computer science guys you could play video games with and pretentious english lit students who gave you good book recommendations – the indoor sort.
they all tended to look like a light breeze could push them over. not the kind where you could steal their hoodies. and that was fine. you didn’t care, honest.
but then the cute guy at the gym completely ruined your usual type in men. you never imagined you’d be that into muscles, but he looked like he could toss you around like a rag doll, and you soon realised that you actually quite liked the thought.
you initially thought your crush would be harmless – glancing at him from across the room and playing out scenarios in your head.
but then he started offering to unload your plates, and showed you how different machines worked when you looked particularly confused. he would ask you to spot him, despite you both knowing you would be of zero help, and would refill your water bottle when he noticed it getting low.
he would even help to correct your form so you wouldn’t injure yourself.
that, however, had you so flustered you couldn’t even complete the full set. his hand grazing your waist made your heart pound so loudly, you were certain he could hear it. you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.
you told him you had to leave early to finish your essay.
and then, like the gentleman he was, he had asked you about it the next time he saw you, and let you ramble about your major for far too long. the worst part was that he seemed genuinely interested.
you didn’t even know his name and yet you were pretty sure you wanted to have his babies.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“are you sure you really need protein powder?” elain questioned, picking up a bunch of celery for her green juices. “you can get all the vitamins and minerals you need from real food, you know.”
“but it’s so much easier to hit my protein goals with it,” you whined, clutching the tub of powder defensively.
“she’s only doing this because her crush drinks the same brand,” nesta teased, a sly grin spreading across her face as she tossed a box of granola into the cart.
“oh my god, keep your voice down,” you groaned, glancing around nervously. it was 10 pm on a wednesday. the grocery store was practically deserted, but you think you might cry if anyone overhears. “besides, it’s not just because of him. it’s practical!”
“practical,” nesta repeated, her grin widening. “sure, that’s the reason.”
“what’s his name again?" elain said, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“i hate you,” you muttered, feeling your cheeks heat up. you tried to focus on the nutrition label in front of you, but nesta’s laughter made it impossible.
“come on,” nesta said, nudging you playfully. “you’ve been pining over him for months. when are you going to actually talk to him?”
“never?”
“you should accidentally bump into him and spill your protein shake all over his expensive gym clothes. it would be a brilliant conversation starter.”
“please don’t jinx me.”
“oh, and then you could do his laundry as an apology, and he’d buy you a coffee because he thinks you’re pretty!” elain chimes in.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
you’ve been working out long enough now that you knew the basics of gym etiquette. namely, don’t be creepy. a simple thing, really, but too many people struggled to act like sane, well-adjusted human beings capable of basic manners. it was as if the gym was some bizarre alternate universe where leggings made men’s brains short-circuit.
so you try very hard to not stare at your gym crush doing pull-ups.
but his biceps are flexing, his shirt is riding up, and you never knew you could be so attracted to someone’s back.
you feel like you’re twelve again – you want to write his name in a heart in your diary and talk about him for hours on the phone.
for the first time, however, you’re grateful you don’t know any concrete details about him. you would’ve stalked his social media, found out he had a girlfriend or horrible political opinions, and then cried yourself to sleep.
you’d really rather not know. hopeless yearning is much more to your taste.
but then he notices you across the room and smiles, and you realise your gym crush is very much not harmless.
you decide that you’ll be brave and actually initiate conversation for once.
a horrible idea, really.
“hey.”
“hey,” he responds.
“what are you listening to?” god, you didn’t think you were this awkward.
“oh, i don’t listen to music when i work out.”
“right, yeah, i totally get that.” you actually don’t understand that at all. the idea of exercising with just your thoughts sounds like a special kind of torture, but he doesn’t need to know that.
you fidget with the hem of your shorts, desperately searching for something else to say.
“so, uh, how’s your workout going?” he asks.
“it’s going okay,” you reply, the words tumbling out. “you?”
you want to disappear.
“yeah, it’s good too.” you swear you see a hint of pink in his cheeks, though it’s probably just from finishing his set.
your mind is blank and you have no idea what else to say. “great.”
you hope you look like you’re smiling and not grimacing.
this was quite possibly the worst idea you’ve ever had. you’re never speaking to a man again.
even if they are very pretty and look like they could pick you up without breaking a sweat.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
getting ready with three other girls in a cramped apartment was always a challenge. you loved your sisters, but if feyre didn’t get away from the mirror, you would scream.
feyre, always meticulous with her makeup, was painstakingly perfecting her eyeliner, ignoring the sighs from nesta.
“can you possibly move any slower?” nesta hisses, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms.
you exchange a knowing look with elain, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, scrolling through her phone. she had opted to stay behind, and you were growing increasingly jealous of her decision.
“why don’t we just take turns?” you intervene, hoping to avoid a fight before you even got to the party. “feyre, you finish up, then nesta, and i’ll go last. sound fair?”
feyre finally steps away from the bathroom and nesta wastes no time in taking her place, muttering something about how she could do a better job in half the time.
feyre had been persistent about attending one of rhysand’s house parties for weeks now, and despite your and nesta’s reluctance, she had managed to wear you down. it wasn’t so much her persuasive arguments as it was the promise of free alcohol that ultimately swayed both of you. plus, you were a little curious. feyre had been gushing about her boyfriend for months now. 
as you stood in front of the mirror, giving yourself a final once-over, you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. feyre, radiant in her navy dress, was practically buzzing with excitement. nesta looked as though she’d rather be doing anything else, despite begrudgingly admitting that the three of you looked good.
you had opted for a short, tight-fitted black dress. shocking how regularly going to the gym could actually help your confidence.
feyre led the way, practically dragging you and nesta out of the apartment. elain, now comfortably nestled on the couch with a book, waved you goodbye. “be safe, and don’t drink too much!”
“it’s so cute that you think i could survive the night without being drunk,” nesta laughs. 
the cool night air is a welcome change from the stuffy apartment as the three of you step outside to wait for the cab. feyre was already chattering about rhysand and his friends, while nesta had shot her a look that could wither plants.
you really needed a drink.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
rhysand’s apartment ended up being a thirty-minute drive away, nestled in the wealthier district of velaris, and you could see why feyre spent so much time here.
you could hear the music before you even enter, and it smells so strongly of alcohol you already feel a little lightheaded.
it can hardly be called an apartment in all honesty, it’s nicer than most houses and certainly surpasses anything you’ve ever stepped foot in before. it’s spacious, with an open layout that flows effortlessly from one room to the next. plush couches and chairs face a glass coffee table that is currently covered in red plastic cups and half-finished bottles of vodka. luckily, all his furniture was black. you winced at the thought of cleaning the stains that were bound to appear after tonight.
you noticed the floor-to-ceiling windows offering a pretty view of the city skyline, the twinkling lights stretching out like a blanket of stars against the night. you weren’t the jealous type, but you had the sudden urge to strangle feyre.
she had navigated the apartment with ease, her eyes alight with familiarity as she disappeared in search of rhysand. left to fend for yourselves, you and nesta exchanged a glance before setting off in the direction of the kitchen.
as you weave through the throng of people, you catch sight of mor, effortlessly manoeuvring between guests as she pours drinks. she seems completely at ease, flashing dazzling smiles and looking stunning as ever.
mor’s eyes light up with recognition as she spots you among the crowd. with a beckoning gesture, she calls you over. “i didn’t think you two would be here!” she seems genuinely happy to see you, despite only talking to her after class a couple of times.
“our sister is dating the host, so naturally, we’ve been dragged along,” you reply. “she’s off hunting him down now.”
mor’s gaze shifts between you and nesta, realisation crossing her features. “rhysand is actually my cousin,” she explains with a smile. “so, i’ve met feyre a few times now.”
“that’s unfortunate,” nesta laughs. you’re pretty sure she’s only half-joking.
you elbow her. “come on, don’t be mean. i don’t want to be kicked out after five minutes of being here.”
“are you sure? we could go get pizza and ice cream and not wake up feeling like we were hit by a car?”
“are you seriously the voice of reason right now?”
“hey, if you’re going to the gym, then i can be a responsible adult.”  
mor perks up, her eyes brightening with interest. “you work out?”
you smile sheepishly, “i only started a few months ago.”
“you should join me sometime!” mor suggests eagerly. “i usually go with rhysand and a few others, but one of them hasn’t shown up in ages. it’d be great to have another girl!”
“speaking of which, i should introduce you to them,” mor adds with a grin before calling out, “azriel! cassian! get over here!”
and then you spot who is walking over.
“mor, what’s up?” a very familiar voice asks.
because, you realise, it’s your gym crush. it’s the guy you’ve been pining over for months.
your brain is really struggling to comprehend that he’s here, and he knows mor, and apparently rhysand?
has he met feyre too?
he’s wearing all black, like usual, and his biceps look even better in this lighting, and oh god, you want to melt into the ground before you somehow think of a new way to embarrass yourself.
your mind is racing a hundred miles per hour and you’re suddenly realising you’re going to have to avoid feyre’s boyfriend forever if he’s friends with him and – 
and as your eyes meet his, and realisation flickers across his features, you’re really wishing you had stayed at home with elain.
or vanish into thin air. that works too.
“az, these are feyre’s sisters!” mor’s voice breaks through your thoughts.
you’ve finally learnt his name, you suppose, but you’re pretty sure you’ll have to find a new gym.
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shurisasthmaticgf · 22 hours
Text
the curls are curling: lando norris x black social media influencer fem! reader
summary: the secret behind why his curls have been consistently looking perfect is revealed.
authors note: i am still very new to formula one so please don't jump me if there is some slight inaccuracies. i did my best to look things up if i wasn't sure about them. this fic isn't based off of any race in particular either. also, this is a work of fiction meaning it's not REAL so please remember that as well! constructive feedback is heavily encouraged and very appreciated 🫶🏽
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heat pooled through the open windows of the house as you ran around to try and get yourself ready for the long day ahead. you woke up an hour ago to give yourself two hours to get ready because today was a race weekend. usually, you only needed about an hour to get you and your boyfriend out the door but today you'd gotten up earlier to film a vlog.
the whole social media influencer thing was still fairly new for you, only having started to consistently vlog and post a few months ago. before you'd started dating lando you were posting here and there about your day to day as a university student and intern for a large company in the city. every so often one of your videos got a couple hundred thousand views but you didn't really mind that your other content only got a few likes...that was just how tiktok's algorithm worked.
once you graduated from university and your internship ended you didn't have much to vlog about until you decided to film a race weekend and post it. what you didn't expect was the video to get millions of views and likes overnight. a massive influx of fans followed but you didn't really pay too much mind to the number, this was just something you liked to do and people also liked to watch. with time you ended up opening a youtube channel where you posted longer vlogs and other videos, and tiktok became a place where you posted 1-3 minute clips of your longer videos. one thing you never really did was center your entire vlog around your boyfriend. sure, lando was the entire reason you ended up at races but you were also your own person...that and lando was oddly camera shy when it came to your vlogs so he often wanted you to edit him out if he happened to end up in the frame.
which is how you ended up in your bedroom with your tripod pointed the camera directly at you. you smiled widely, hoping that it masked the fact that you were nearly half asleep, "good morning everyone! it's race day and i'm gonna be taking you along with me. everyone's been asking for a longer race day vlog so i'm here to give you all what you want. first lets get into the fit- these pajamas were sent to me from Brooks Avenue, if you like them you can use the code Y/N for a little discount on your purchase!" you backed up to show off your pink and green pajamas that would have definitely cost an arm an a leg if they hadn't come in a PR package. the matching pink and green satin bonnet on your head slowly slipped down your forehead leaving you to push it back up with an annoyed huff. you explained to the camera once more, "okay and first i'm gonna brush my teeth then do my skincare routine...he's in the shower right now so the lens might get fogged up, sorry in advance." you knocked on the bathroom door to let your boyfriend know you were coming in before pulling your skincare products out of your travel bag. quickly you brushed your teeth with until you felt like you'd gotten rid of every trace of morning breath.
just as you finished your skincare routine, the shower turned off and you slipped out of the bathroom. while lando finished in the bathroom you sat back down at the vanity and situated the camera back in front of you. slowly you slipped the bonnet from your head and untied the silk scarf under it, letting the large twists in your hair fall against your shoulders. to the camera you explained, "it's gonna be really hot today so i'm just gonna pull the twists back with a ribbon and call it a day i think." you pulled a jar of edge control and a brush from your bag and began styling your baby hairs, effortlessly into swirls and swoops. a laugh fell past your lips as you admitted, "honestly the only reason i still do this is so my forehead looks slightly less...megamind-esque in pictures." when you finished you tied another scarf messily around your hairline and began gathering your twists into a ponytail to secure it with a holder and ribbon.
the bathroom door opened and lando walked back into your room, fully dressed but his button down left wide open exposing his bare torso. in his hands he held a blow dryer and two bottles, one leave in conditioner and a gel you'd bought for him a few weeks ago. you finished tying the bow around your ponytail then took the two bottles from him and plugged the blow dryer into the wall. a hand gently pulled on your hand and you looked up to see sleepy smile grace his lips, "good morning, beautiful." you drew closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him pull you in by the waist. his head nuzzled into your shoulder as your hand found the back of his head, stroking his hair softly with your fingers you murmured, "hi baby." you could feel the shy smile he wore against your shoulder until you pulled away from him. you pulled a robe from the back of the door and told him, "put this on." he knew most of the reason was so he didn't stain his shirt with hair products but another part of it had to be the fact that his shirt was wide open.
lando sat in front of the camera and you laughed at how awkward he looked compared to normal. you prompted, "baby, say hi to everyone. they ask for you all the time." he stiffly waved a hand in front of the camera and you sighed, "i don't know why you act so funny around my camera but everyone else it's fine." he mumbled a soft, "because it's you..." but only the mic on the camera caught it. he sat on the bench in front of you and slightly leaned back into your body before letting his eyes flutter shut.
meanwhile you showed the leave in conditioner to the camera, "this is the kinky curly knot today leave in-" despite his eyes being shut lando let out a small laugh and you asked, "what?" he mumbled cheekily, "kinky." you let out a exasperated sigh, "oh god you're like a child...anyways i was saying, i put a little of this in his hair but not too much just a tiny amount to add moisture." squeezing the leave in conditioner into your palm then applying it to his hair you hummed along to a sza song that ran through your head. the gentle work of your fingers running along his scalp nearly lulled lando back to sleep. you worked through his hair with a practiced ease, adding product and coaxing the curls atop his head to take perfect shape. not wanting to disturb his peace, you silently showed the matching brand's curling custard and then applied that lightly to his hair. once you'd finished you turned on the blow dryer, accidentally jump scaring your boyfriend under you. a soft melodic laugh fell past your lips and one hand fell to his shoulder before you leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, "my bad babe." the camera didn't miss the way he leaned into your touch, pushing his cheek closer to you with his shoulders dropping further in relaxation.
not even half an hour later you were done and the light brown curls on his head were perfectly defined. you wiped your hands on the hand towel you'd slung over your shoulder earlier and laughed when you realized your boyfriend literally fell asleep. you gently cupped under his chin and pressed another kiss to his cheek. just above a whisper you mumbled, "all done, bubs. " he opened his eyes and smiled while you mused, “my pretty boy.” his cheeks flushed slightly, “thank you” and you brushed a few curls into place before looking at his reflection, "of course." he stood up and pulled you out of the frame to gave you a quick kiss before going downstairs where you'd meet him when you finished getting dressed.
the white and navy blue floral sundress you wore was both nice and simple enough to wear for today. simple gold jewelry and a pair of white sandals finished off your look and you grabbed the camera to show your reflection in the full length mirror on the wall, "all dressed so i'm gonna go meet lando downstairs and i'll see you all a little bit later!" you stopped recording and went downstairs to find your boyfriend sitting and ready to go, his cheeks burning pink when he laid eyes on you. a subtle fluttering erupted in your stomach at the familiar gaze, the one that made you feel like the only girl in the world.
*extra*
you scrolled through your social media accounts, something you never really did if you didn't have to. the first thing that came to your attention was the flood of pictures and comments that were about your boyfriend's hair. for the past few races you'd been doing his hair and more and more fans were noticing it looked better than normal. honestly, you found it amusing that people were bringing it up and so much at that, so you decided to add to the conversation just a bit:
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fans reactions to recent vlog upload:
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inkdrinkerworld · 17 hours
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Hi my luv, can I request for sunshine reader explaining the concept of girl math to post prison spencer? I think it would be amusing
Only if you want to! Thank you and take care always! 🫶
As a man of maths and science, Spencer can’t get behind girl maths. He’s tried, he really has but still you explain it to him every time you come home excited about a package left on your door and he’s just lost.
“It was free Spence!” He doesn’t think it was. You’re holding a box of books, all your favourite authors and some of Spencer’s. 
“Was it actually?” You roll your eyes, Spencer isn't being fun today. 
“I paid for them all last month, and I didn’t have to pay for anything this month. So they’re free, girl maths.” 
You cut open the box, pulling out all your books and holding some out to Spencer. “I even got you some. It’s new science fiction by that author you like.” 
Spencer smiles and kisses your palm. “Thank you, angel.” 
You blush, “You’re welcome, Spence. Enjoy the freeness of your newest reads.” 
He laughs, tugging you closer to him as he sets the books aside. “They weren’t free. I don’t get your girl math.” 
You sigh dramatically, laying your head on his collarbone. “I’ll explain it to you again. If I have cash and use it to buy something and not my card, it’s free. If I make a return on something and get money back and buy something with that money, it’s also free. And, if I made a purchase months ago and it arrives say, a month later, it was free because I don’t have to spend any money at that moment.” 
Spencer still doesn’t get it, but he bites his tongue from the criticisms he wants to add to the logic.
He just hums and kisses your forehead, watching you as you pull out your most anticipated read of the year. 
“Can we read together tonight? We can have tea and chocolates instead of dinner.” You’re hopeful and your smile makes Spencer’s heart race. 
“We can read together, but I think we can share a sandwich and then have tea and chocolates after dinner.” You ‘boo’ and Spencer pinches at your side making you squeal and bat his hand away as he smiles.
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lumi-nescentt · 2 days
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Electric Touch
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Part 1 - What Would You Do If I Went To Touch You Now
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader
Warnings: none
Words: 1.7k
Summary: y/n's affection for Lando hasn't gone unnoticed by the Australians she works with but despite their encouragement, she's convinced that finding things to dislike about Lando is the only way to save herself and her job.
A/N: Well hello there, it's been quite a while. I've been terribly busy with school things but I'm finally free so I'm gonna try and start posting again. Most of my WIP are xmas' themed (that's how long I haven't written for) but I have other ideas so bear with me pls :)
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After joining McLaren in 2021 as Daniel’s PR manager, the girl had found a routine in her work with the papaya team, some comfort and calm in a world that always seemed rapid. That had, however, all been blown to pieces when Daniel had announced he wasn’t coming back the year after. With this new piece of information had come the sadness of losing someone she had grown accustomed to calling a friend more than a coworker but also the uncertainty of her place within the team without the Australian.  
Luckily for her, the arrival of a rookie in the team also meant that the PR manager position she was occupying was still available and so she kept her job. If Oscar and Daniel were both Australian, the resemblance pretty much stopped there. Where Daniel was all loud laughs and obnoxious jokes, Oscar was quieter and understanding his humour had taken some time. 
Despite that, Oscar and y/n became friends quickly. The girl was always there for him when the car wasn’t working like Zak had promised it would and even when they had media to attend and her work should have been her priority, she always made sure Oscar was 100% okay before sending him into the lion’s den. It made her a good PR manager and an even better friend. 
Being level-headed was a necessary part of the job and y/n liked to pride herself in how well she dealt with tricky situations without ever losing her cool or at least without showing any signs of it. It seemed like nothing or nobody could crack her. Except one person with a dimpled smile and green eyes that mostly sparkled with a hint of mischief whenever their eyes met.  
Falling for someone who worked for the same team had never been in y/n’s plans, especially not falling for a driver and yet that was the predicament she was in now.
From the moment Lando had grown out of his timid shell, y/n had known she was done for. Lando was everything she liked in a person, he was funny, kind, smart and so beautiful it made her head spin. If the situation had been different, maybe she would have allowed herself to feel like that but she couldn’t risk her job for what she hoped was some silly crush that would pass. 
However, the crush never faded and the more time passed, the more she found to like about Lando. She tried her best to ignore him, to ignore how her stomach felt when he was around and how she seemed to just forget how to act, how to be when he was close. She had hoped no one would notice it but the problem with spending so much time with a driver was that they got pretty good at reading you over time. 
Daniel had caught on exactly as it happened and he had teased her relentlessly for it when he knew she was in the mood for that. When he noticed how she was beating herself up over something she couldn’t control, Daniel offered a reassuring smile and a hug, reminding her that she was only human and having feelings for someone, no matter how great they were, wasn’t worth getting all worked up about and feeling guilty for.  
For the two years they worked together, Daniel tried to convince her to shoot her shot because if the longing glances his teammate was always throwing their way said something, it was that Lando was in the same predicament as her. No matter how insistent the Australian was, y/n never agreed to do anything to make her feelings known or even test the water with Lando.
In the end, Daniel gave up on her side and instead tried to convince Lando to do something. Just like she didn’t believe Daniel, Lando didn’t believe him when he told her that making a move was a good idea. Lando wasn’t confident enough to risk getting rejected, especially by someone he saw every time they were at the track. Before the Australian could make what he thought was a great love story happen, he stepped down from F1 and despite being a reserve driver for half of the season, he wasn’t there or had enough time to play Cupid so he just prayed that the two idiots he called his friends would wake up one day and realise how stupid they were being. 
When Oscar took his seat and started hanging out with the two of them, it didn’t take him long to put two and two together and realise that they were both painfully into each other but too blinded by their fears to actually see the whole picture. He found it sweet at first how Lando would always keep a seat for y/n in meetings, acting like he hadn’t meant to when she came in or how he would always make sure her favourite coffee was available in the McLaren hospitality when she worked trackside. He could tell that despite being scared, Lando desperately wanted something to happen. All the Brit needed was a little push and Oscar was determined to be the one to do it. 
When Oscar had told y/n that he knew about her feelings for Lando, she had wanted the ground to swallow her whole right this instant. Working with a new driver that didn’t know her or Lando had let her hope that she could pretend easily but Oscar wasn’t blind. The girl had immediately answered that her feelings would soon be old news because she had made a plan to be over Lando by the end of the 2024 season. 
Her so-called genius plan was simple: if she managed to find things to dislike in Lando, enough for her to have the ick, her feelings would certainly go away all at once. So this season, she was determined to pay attention to Lando’s every move and find negative things to say about it. Despite thinking that the plan was terrible and wasn’t going to work, Oscar knew he had to somehow warn Lando. He couldn’t break her trust by telling him so he had to convince Lando that he absolutely needed to make a move before somebody else did and stole y/n’s heart away. 
Oscar decided to start his master plan before they filmed a few challenges for McLaren’s youtube channel. Lando and him were hanging out in an empty meeting room, waiting for the shooting to start so it was the perfect opportunity to talk freely.
-“  I think Logan has a crush on someone at McLaren.” Oscar stated out of nowhere
-“ Why do you think that ?” 
-“ He’s always hanging around the garage. He says he’s there to see me but he doesn’t really talk to me when he’s here. He mostly talks to y/n. Actually, he only talks to her.”
-“ So you’re saying he’s interested in her ?” 
-“ I think so. We never really talked about this kind of thing but it looks like it.” Oscar lied, knowing he would have to warn the American about the lie he had just fed Lando
-“ Oh, okay.” Lando paused, toying with the hem of his sleeves “ Do you think she likes him back ?” 
-“ I don’t know if he’s her type but I don’t see why she wouldn’t. She’s always with me and Logan is too so that has to mean that she enjoys his company a little. Otherwise she wouldn’t hang out with us.” 
-“ Did she ever talk to you about her dating life and stuff ?” Lando asked, trying to look uninterested 
-“ Well, I know she’s pretty shy so she’s not one to make the first move, even if she likes a guy.”
-“ Yeah that sounds like her.” he smiled fondly, remembering how she had been her first days at McLaren, all soft spoken and keeping to herself, not wanting to bother anyone
-“ So, let’s say if somebody likes her, he better make a move soon because she’s not going to do it herself and also there’s other people who may be interested…” 
-“ What are you insinuating, Oscar ?”
-“ What do you think ?”
-“ I do not like y/n like that.” Lando argued
-“ So it wouldn’t bother you if I set them up on a date, then ?” Oscar said, pretending to take out his phone to text either of them
-“ Wait !” Lando exclaimed, grabbing Oscar’s wrist before letting go of it like he had been burnt “ Please, Oscar. Don’t do that.” 
-“ See ? I knew you weren’t dense.” 
-“ I’m not. I just don’t want to ruin our friendship or how comfortable she feels at work right now.” 
-“ That’s not going to happen and anyway you won’t know what she thinks until you actually ask her out.” 
-“ What if she says no ?” 
-“ What if she says yes ?” Oscar mimicked his friend with a knowing smile
-“ You’re so annoying.” Lando scoffed, rolling his eyes
-“ Does that mean you’re going to at least try to ask her out before giving up ?” 
-“ I’m going to think about it.” 
-“ No, that won’t cut it. You have to promise me you’ll try.” 
-“ I don’t owe you shit, Oscar. Why are you so persistent anyway ?” 
-“ I’m doing this in the name of love, mate. I just heard through the grapevine that she might like someone and from all the time I spend with her, I’m saying you should shoot your shot.” 
-“ What does that even mean ? Why are you being so cryptic ?” 
-“I can’t explicitly tell you because that would make me a bad friend but you have to trust me on that one. Just ask her out”
-“ Alright, I’ll do it. But don’t you dare pressure me or anything. If I’m doing this, I’m doing it on my own terms and that’s it.” Lando caved in, pointing his finger at the Australian’s face
-“ I’m so glad you said yes. I hope I at least get to be the godfather of one of your kids.” he laughed as Lando became bright red and slapped his shoulder
-“ So you’re going to tell Logan not to go for it ?” 
-“ I don’t need to.” 
-“ What ?”
-“ I don’t need to and you don’t have to worry about him.” 
-“ Oh my God. You lied !”
-“ It was for a greater cause so it’s okay, right ?” 
-“ Greater cause, my ass ! You just like to torture me.” 
-“ Maybe…” 
-“ I’m gonna–” Lando started before being cut off by someone calling them both to start filming, saving Oscar who just smirked and walked away.
He might have lied to have what he wanted but it wasn’t selfish if he just wanted his two friends to be happy so he didn’t feel too bad.
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bcacstuff · 2 days
Text
Who's that Girl
So here it goes....
After yesterdays JJ article and pics from London, I showed you how I did a search on face recognition sites, one came up with a tiktok, others came up with some... more info perhaps.
Early this morning someone (who wants to remain anonymous) sent me a link in DM, an IG account, and showed me some matching things on there.
Like this bracelet
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and of course her face
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Same bag was seen as well
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well bag and bracelet.... and face
and the matrix coat, well I found that one on her friends IG
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right...
Of course, I hear you, who is she, what is her name, her IG.... I actually thought and doubted about this a long time, do I give away her name? Do I not? Well, I decided I give her name, wont link directly to her IG though. She's called Lauren Marie, though I doubt this is her real name. It is more like her.... uhm... 'professional' name...
But before I do, it's probably better to put a little warning/disclaimer here. So far, you'd say nothing wrong perhaps... but that is so far... below it's gonna be a little less nice for sure. Actually the picture drgotts posted in his stories today, and Sam reposted was quite accurate...
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I'm sure my face had all of these expressions as well and perhaps some more. Also keep in mind, you're here on your free will reading my post because... well guess because you want to know all things... or if you don't want to, you can still close this post and go for a nice walk in the park or something relaxing..... Above all, don't shoot the messenger, I can tell you I needed some time to process this all as well.
Okay, meet Lauren Marie
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Just some random pics from her IG which is more like an advertisement space for her..... 'services'.... Showing of luxury items and clothes on several luxurious places all over the world. No job description on her profile - ahem- No not a model or an actress. Her location on IG says Atlanta, while on TikTok it is Dubai!
On her TikTok, not many videos, but here's one
as I can only post one video, a screenshot from another
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Not to mention the hashtags she uses....
My Anon did the same, well about the same perhaps as I did (no I didn't pay, but if you know how to use Google searches in a certain way... well...)
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:sigh: oh Sam... 🤦‍♀️ indeed, I said that many times today 🤐
Yes, her IG and Tiktok already makes you think hmmm.... no job mentions and doing a 'normal' google search doesn't really get you far, but with the help of the little hints some face recognition apps give you, this is what you find...
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Notice the tattoo (even blurred) and see above where I showed the bracelet.
One of the sites (yes I really went there 🙈
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There are many more similar sites to find like these.... but i will spare you, i think nuf said....
I imagine you might have some questions, like;
Does he date this woman? Uhm... no if you know a little, you know these women are not dating material (cough cough)
So did he pay to shag her? Uhm... well, I don't know of course - ahem - but for what it is worth what my Anon above said is true, in the celeb world this unfortunately is 'common'. But ask yourself this, would he shag a paid escort and consequently walk hand in hand with her in central London, Soho to get papped? I have a hard time believing that to be honest. I mean, if he wants to, he knows how to stay under the radar. I think his escort had an easy job yesterday without many yoga or gymnastics.
So was it an intended papwalk? Yeah, I'm sure you all might have your own thoughts about that. It isn't a date, it isn't the woman you might want to be papped with, unless you hope nobody finds out who she is. But I'm sure he knows his fandom and with such a clear pic of her face, well. So I wonder, is this a PR stunt gone wrong? (given he turned of the tags on his IG). It does look like an intended papwalk to me, he's even groomed. Just look at the selfie that Saturday when he had lunch with Sarah.... or the boat pic earlier this year. Nothing like these pappics. Well, I simply leave you with your own thoughts on that, but I tend to lean towards an intended papwalk that wasn't the best idea (if his PR team came up with that, I'd sack them immediately)
So far... if you don't mind, I'm gonna do a deep clean of my search history right now!
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withleeknow · 2 days
Text
whiskers.
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pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff; reader has whisker dimples bc this is self-indulgent as hell, written in one sitting and v unedited lol it is once again 2am and i am half asleep. the fake cut mimo has on his cheek in the pics is kind of exactly where my whiskers are lmfao word count: 0.6k
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation / masterlist / ko-fi
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"whiskers," minho says, pulling your gaze away from the laptop in front of you.
you roll your eyes half-heartedly, though you do put the device to the side to give minho your undivided attention. he's looking at you expectantly but patiently, like he's just asking you to give him a little love.
this isn't something that you've always liked about yourself, your whisker dimples as the internet has so lovingly deemed them these days. they would come out when you smile, or when your face twists into an unpleasant scowl. as a kid, people often found it odd how you had dimples so high up in your cheeks when others had them around their smile lines. you always felt a little different, a little weird whenever someone pointed this out even if it was only in harmless fun.
when minho first became aware of it, he was absolutely fascinated. he'd made you laugh so hard that you couldn't contain the bright grin that spread across your face as complete and utter joy took over you. you were clutching his arm, giggling at the story he was telling you when the dimples showed themselves, the cute indentations settling on top of your cheeks as if they were the physical manifestation of the happiness you felt inside.
you remember what minho did. he had cupped your face gently in his hands, then traced the soft lines with his fingers as he marveled at you. "you look like a cat," he had said, and you didn't really know what to make of it. it was so early in your relationship that you weren't sure if he was complimenting you or making fun of you like the others had.
but then the stars in his eyes twinkled a little brighter, the delighted quirk of his lips expressing his wonder better than words could. he had kissed you right there, softer and sweeter than he ever did in the short time that you had known each other back then, and you quickly learned that oh, maybe this little detail about yourself that you were embarrassed of your whole life was a good thing after all.
you still don't know the reason minho likes them so much. to you, they've always been something to ignore as best as you can, something to not draw attention to because you don't want people to highlight that maybe you're a little different from everybody else.
even as you sit here, years later with the love of your life who's got a very particular request for you, you're still not entirely sure why he's obsessed with your odd dimples enough to want to see them almost every day. it's a mystery to you and yet, it makes you feel all warm and bubbly inside whenever he sends this simple demand your way.
you adhere to his request nonetheless. when the dimples appear, you watch as a smile blooms on his face, growing bigger and bigger until it makes his eyes crinkle. like an instant boost of serotonin, you think.
minho traces them with gentle fingers, gazing at you in awe as if it's the first time he's seeing you like this. when he leans closer, you can't help but meet him halfway until his lips are tentatively brushing your cheeks. you can't help your own smile either, when it deepens and only accentuates the small moon-shaped dents which he kisses. five times on each side, and then he's peppering kisses all over your face while you laugh and accept the sudden burst of love.
sometimes he calls them whiskers, sometimes he calls them moons.
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 31.05.2024]
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ezdotjpg · 10 hours
Note
Hi!!! Sorry if you've been asked this before but is it possible for you to summarize the Bonus Links' personalities? Just asking because I'd like to get a general idea, apologies if this is too much of a pain to answer 😭🫶🏻
hey! luckily I already wrote up character intros a while back that I never posted to tumblr lol, so I'll go ahead and post them now! under the cut since this is mega long lol
Loft
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Skyward Sword
Age: 22
Height: 5’3”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: World’s Nicest Man Pushed To His Limit. It’s his nature to be light-hearted and easy-going, but ever since the events of Skyward Sword he’s been unable to let the implications of Demise’s curse and Zelda’s connection to Hylia go. He’s usually mild, but he’s got a lot of suppressed anger in him that comes out at inopportune times. He tends towards being optimistic, but has lately been caught in a depressive spiral. As a result of all these conflicting emotions, he hasn’t felt like himself in a while. Before everything, he could have been described as a little bit lazy, but these days a better word would be lethargic. He’s got a mischievous and thrill-seeking streak that often surprises people. He knows he’s powerful, but he’s lost some confidence in the years since his quest. He’s wracked with guilt about the way everything ended.
Slate
Pronouns: tends to use he/him, but really any
Game: Breath of the Wild (ignoring TotK for now)
Age: 21
Height: 5’0”
Communication: Mainly signs, speaks occasionally
Personality: The Reviews Are In: Friendly Guy, Vaguely Off-Putting. He knows he’s not pre-calamity Link, but he’s not exactly sure what he is instead. He’s accepted this about himself, and it grinds his gears that other people refuse to. He’s not sure what to do with all these memories inside him that aren’t his, and that he feels nothing for. He’s become more expressive, but when he’s upset his face goes entirely blank. He has a tendency to be distracted, blunt, intense, impulsive, somewhat abrasive. But he’s not unkind, and can even be outright friendly. He’d offer his help to anyone who asks, and he makes it a point to know everyone in Hyrule. He’s happiest out in nature, and doesn’t mind the solitude. He only ever lies by omission, and otherwise says exactly what he means. There’s something a little otherworldly about him.
Mask
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask
Age: 15
Height: 5’2½”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Local Teen Needs Hug So Bad, Will Bite If You Try. He’s prickly, hot-tempered, moody. He’ll pick verbal battles he probably shouldn’t. Everything is a touchy subject. But he’s developed this behavior as a coping mechanism. He’s kind by nature, and it takes effort to lash out. The person he is with Malon- gentle, more soft-spoken, with a good sense of humor and a love for harmless mischief- is a lot closer to the person he’s comfortable being. He’s a scared kid. He feels out of place, both mature and immature, of this world and not. Sometimes, he gets scrambled between Termina, the Hyrule he’s in now, the Hyrule he left behind, and the Hyrule of the war. He has a lot of resentment for both the gods and the royal family, and all he wants is to be left alone.
Wolf
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Twilight Princess
Age: 23
Height: 5’5”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Thank God I’m A Country Boy. He’s a gentle soul, probably the gentlest out of all of them. He likes to be useful, and he has made being the problem solver of Ordon Village part of his identity. He’s a bit of a mother hen and likes to take care of people. Midna was good at bringing out a little bit of attitude and snark in him. He’s got a bad case of Resting Bitch Face, but he’s not an angry person. However, he’s had a hard time adjusting to life back in Ordon. He’s usually even-tempered, but lately he’s been irritable and easier to anger. He feels isolated by his experiences, and has been avoiding most of the villagers, including his loved ones, even though it makes him lonely. Mostly he just doesn’t want to take it out on them, but it’s also about his pride. He enjoys the company of animals far more these days. He wants a quiet life, and has been avoiding Zelda's attempts to make "Hero" a political role for him to fill.
War
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Hyrule Warriors
Age: 25
Height: 5’7”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally, had Proxi speak for him at one point during the war
Personality: Link “This Is My Jaeger, I Make The Tactical Decisions” Faron. He comes across as a very charming young man, witty, helpful, pleasant in conversation, well-adjusted. In reality, he is constantly doing complicated political 4D chess in his mind at all times, even when it’s not necessary. Many years of being subject to the whims of the Royal Court and pressure to be a perfect symbol have poisoned him: he’s become calculating, manipulative, superficially polite, two-faced. He has to be the one holding all the cards, considering all the variables, fixing all of the problems, because he can’t trust anyone else. If you were to strip him of all pretense, he'd actually be a dry, resigned person, perpetually annoyed with everyone around him. He values status and reputation, and he wants more power than he has. His appearance is important to him because he knows his pretty face is an asset. He holds deep respect for the gods and the mantle of the hero. He has a strong sense of duty, but one that often leads him to justify terrible actions. The ends justify the means.
Mirror
Pronouns: he/they
Game: A Link Between Worlds, Triforce Heroes
Age: 22
Height: 5’1”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Local Link Doing Pretty Well Actually, All Things Considered. He’s just living his life, having a mostly pleasant time. He used to be quiet and reserved when he was younger, but has come out of his shell in a big way. He’s a bit vain, and fond of doing things with a dramatic flair. They like to have an audience, they like to make people laugh, they like to have your attention. Rather than being poisoned by court politics, he thrives in them. He doesn’t pretend to be charming, he just is. They can be on the arrogant side. He’s interested in fashion and art more than fighting these days, but still keeps his skills up to date. He pretends the scar on his face doesn’t bother him, but it does. He’s particularly obsessed with the legend of the hero before him.
Mage
Pronouns: he/him
Game: A Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening, Oracle of Ages, Oracle of Seasons
Age: 32
Height: 5’3”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Weird Uncle You Just Stopped Hearing From One Day. He’s a difficult guy to get a read on. He comes off as deeply serious, imposing, no-nonsense. He is actually full of nonsense. The fact that no one can tell what is and isn’t part of the bit is part of the bit. He mostly ignores his own problems by dedicating his life to solving other people’s problems. He wanders from place to place, helping people and becoming a bit of a larger than life folk legend in his own right in the process. He’s leaned into learning magic more than the sword, and has built up quite the arsenal of spells. He doesn’t speak often, and is content to let other Links lead despite being the oldest and the most experienced. He’s difficult to rile and even more difficult to get a straight answer out of.
Spirit
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Spirit Tracks
Age: 16
Height: 4’11”
Communication: Mainly signs, speaks occasionally. He has a stutter when he speaks.
Personality: Wants To Be Anywhere But Here, Preferably On A Train. He’s fully given up swordfighting, and basically just wants to go back to being a Royal Engineer like nothing happened. He has no interest in gaining any kind of attention, authority, or power from the mantle of the hero, and would actually prefer that everyone stop looking at him. He’s quiet, sweet-natured and generally non-confrontational, but he’s not afraid to stand up for himself when pushed. It’s just that it’s easier to let Zelda stand up for him instead. He’s pretty mature and in-tune with his emotions for a 16 year old. Seeing spirits everywhere, he has a lot of private thoughts about grief and death that he doesn’t share with anyone. The gears in his brain are constantly turning, and once he’s stuck on an idea, it’s all he can focus on. He often doesn’t give himself enough credit for how capable he is. Please let him tell you about trains.
Mini
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Minish Cap
Age: 14
Height: 4’3”
Communication: Only signs, mute.
Personality: He’s Just A Little Guy, Only 2 Pixels Tall. Mini doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. He’s not very expressive in the face, and it can be hard to tell what he’s thinking or feeling. Mostly, he’s a little rascal. He likes to root around in the garbage and build strange little machines from what he finds. He spends a lot of time hanging out with the Minish, moreso than humans. It’s a little bit of an escapism thing. He hasn’t really processed what it meant to become the hero so young, and is actively trying to avoid doing so. He’s very independent, and simply doesn’t compute attempts to coddle him.
Wake
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Wind Waker, Phantom hourglass
Age: 20
Height: 5’5”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Everyone’s Favorite Cousin At The Family Function. He’s a fun person to be around. Friendly, energetic, laid back, good-natured, outgoing. He is always up for a good shenanigan. But he can get serious when he needs to, and often plays the important role of mediator in group dynamics. He’s the glue that holds the team together! He seems to take everything in stride, and presents himself as unbothered by the things that have happened to him. Whether that’s actually true, or he’s just compartmentalized everything too well remains to be seen. He has a strange way of being very open, and yet a closed book at the same time. He’s sentimental, and family is important to him
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