#because I can't remember the term you'd use in this time period

[mon-blanchetts]

I Swear I Need You

Pairing: Dark!Aemond Targaryen x wife!Reader

Summary: You've been avoiding your husband. Aemond will do whatever it takes to correct that.

Warnings: possessive/unhinged!Aemond, time-travel, infidelity, period-typical views of gender and marriage, angst, murder (non-explicit), reader’s plans go awry real fast

When you mull over it further in the safety of your own bed, you realize just how unsurprised you are by your husband's actions. Tales of Targaryen madness have always been prevalent throughout the kingdom, and the prince’s own uncle was said to have murdered his first wife long before wedding his niece.

That's probably where he'd drawn inspiration from, you decide with mounting fury. Aemond must've taken a page out of his uncle's book and discarded you in a moment of aggravation. You were of little use to his present cause—whatever it was. Being the outsider that you are, you're not privy to his family's agenda.

Having come to with a violent start, heart racing painfully in your chest, you come to terms with what's happened—with what will happen, should you remain down the same path: your husband is going to murder you. He'll push you off the terrace overlooking Blackwater Bay after you confront him about his dalliances; the ocean below you'll plunge into while you scream your lungs out, knowing full well you know not how to swim—that even if you did, you were no match for the strong currents of Blackwater Bay.

But you're alive now, you remind yourself. Not because, by some miracle of the Seven, you survived the waters, but...but because your demise has yet to happen. 

You've somehow traveled back in time. The thought is as ludicrous as it is a relief, but you know not how else to explain it.

If you're alive now, it must mean you can still avoid the fate you've just met. But how?

You remember the confrontation you had with him, all the words that had tumbled from your mouth while he watched, his face impassive, one violet eye as wide as it was blank. The problem was that you never could gauge his mood, but what you're actually realizing now is that you just weren't worth the effort for him to emote to any extent. After all, you were never the prize; your enormous dowry was.

I have been nothing but an attentive and devoted wife to you—but you, you choose to spit it all back in my face—they say your father, may his bones rest in peace, would never—if you're this blind, then perhaps your nephew should've maimed your other eye for good measure—

Well, that’s it, isn’t it? You'd gone off on your husband when once you wouldn't have dared to. In your defense, you were drunk from imbibing too much Dornish red, your bitterness and neglect at a fever pitch that night.Here you were, a hare forced to dwell amongst dragons; some at court called you an upstart, others called you a tart with middling blood. You were craving.

You know your husband craves, too. You're just not what he wants.

Well. 

In the end, this is what you surmise: if you want to keep your head above the water, you just need to stay clear of your husband. Keeping on his good side means keeping out of his way. Where once you longed for his attention, you are now more than happy to do without it, so long as it means you can live.

After all, Prince Aemond can't murder his wife if he hardly remembers he has one. 

In your head, at least, it makes sense.

**************

The basket of white linen shirts placed in your bedchamber startles you.

You've just returned from a game of shuttlecock with your handmaidens,basking in the cool morning weather before the near-stifling noonday heat takes over completely. You're feeling light and invigorated, but the sight of that basket chases away your happy mood. It's Aemond's, those linen shirts. You completely forgot about them, but here they are.

Playing ghost with your husband comes surprisingly easy to you, but you suppose the foundations for your success were always there from the start; there was the fact that the two of you have always kept to separate sleeping arrangements, and Aemond has only ever sought your company at a frequency deemed dutiful by royal standards: there’s the few meals taken together each week with or without your in-laws, peppered with an occasional rendezvous in the evening that’s held before the hearth in your bedchamber. Where you once took these opportunities to please and engage him, now you keep mostly to yourself, mincing empty words when silence was unavoidable. Your quiet complaisance seems to please him enough, you think, but you'll never know for sure.

Under no circumstances do you accept any appointments with him on the terrace overlooking Blackwater Bay; you even turn down a surprising request to walk with him through the royal gardens, because you know one of the paths lead to that same fateful spot you were once pushed off from.

In short, you have no interest in gaining your would-be murderer's favour—though, of course, you're certainly not interested in gaining his disfavor, either. It's a thin line you walk on, and you're trying not to fall off before making it to the other side.

"You can take this back to the prince's chambers, Edyth," you order, gesturing toward the basket.

Your favourite handmaiden frowns at you. "But princess, you haven’t mended them yet,” she reminds. 

"You’re right, and I don’t intend to."

Edyth looks worried. "Prince Aemond will question this, won't he? You've always insisted on darning his shirts yourself. What am I to tell his page when asked?"

You doubt your husband remembers such trivial devotions coming from you. A truth that heavy may have once left you despondent, but now, with a spark of vindication, you realize just how well that works in your favour.

"You will tell his page that I've not the time to darn his shirts anymore," you respond. "Besides, Prince Aemond has important matters on his mind to heed who is darning his shirts, don't you think?"

The look on your handmaiden's face tells you she's not wholly convinced, but she obeys nonetheless.

**************

"Won't you dance with me, sweet sister?" the Princess Helaena asks, and you smile brightly at her. You've never excelled at anything in particular, but you do consider dancing one of your stronger points. The King need not bother the two of you tonight, thankfully; as you rise from your seat you spot your brother-in-law watching fair Lady Bridgetts with a less-than-lecherous gaze, surrounded by his like-minded coterie. The King these days doesn't care much for small family gatherings, as was once the norm, you were informed; he prefers the more boisterous and wine-soaked kind, attended by courtiers he knows will keep him entertained. 

Despite her marriage to King Aegon, your sister-in-law has yet to be crowned queen, but she doesn't seem to mind in the least. Her steps are light and airy, cheeks red with excitement. You match her enthusiasm with your own, realizing that your feelings of joy are, in fact, genuine; Aemond is absent tonight, as he has been for the past few days, and so you've been able to breathe a little easier because of it. Your husband has been charged with mending frayed ties with the lords of The Reach, taking him away from the capital. A blessing, that—you wouldn't have attended tonight's amusements had he been in attendance.

And so you dance and dance with the Princess Helaena, the two of you spinning in delight as the music picks up its tempo; your surroundings blur while you move, eager to be rid of your present worries for a night or two. While you've taken it easy with the wine—you learned your lesson when you drunkenly confronted Aemond on the terrace that fateful day—you've indulged on the candied fruits that accompanied tonight's supper, the sugar elating your good spirits even further.

But perhaps you've been too eager to forget, it seems, that the gods have sought to correct this.

As you ready yourself for another spin, someone catches your eye—pale blonde hair and garments as black as night instantly betray his identity.

Aemond is watching you as you stumble lightly at his appearance, just as the music halts.

Your husband's gaze remains firmly upon you as a Kingsguard standing watch by the entrance announces Prince Aemond's arrival. You look away with haste, cursing beneath your breath. This wasn't what you anticipated; your husband isn't expected back for a few days still.

His mother voices as much after greeting her son warmly. "Nonetheless, the sweet air of the Reach has done you well," she comments, and you refrain from rolling your eyes. In your opinion, Aemond looks exactly the same, his pallor just as it was when he left King's Landing. You wonder, more with curiosity rather than bitterness, what fleshly delights he had sampled on there.

"For all of its riches, The Reach lacks what I truly desire," he says, casting a look at you over his mother's head. You're forced to hold back a scoff. You have no time for flattery.

"Then you will happily greet your wife with open arms, will you not?" the Queen Mother asks, turning to lead her son towards you.

With a smile painted on your face, you offer a quick curtsy in greeting. "Welcome back to the capital, husband." The last word tastes foreign in your mouth. 

The Prince must’ve changed into a fresh set of clothes before appearing before them all, by the pristine look of his leather doublet and hose. He doesn't respond right away, his expression impassive.

"You look well, my love," he finally says.

You actually want to agree with him because it's true, but you’re sure that would be in bad taste when you've been apart from each other for such a while.

"Won't you dance with her, Aemond?" It's the Princess Helaena, speaking from across the room. "Those who dance and tumble, dance and tumble, will always discern," she portends, a faraway look blossoming on her still flushed-face.

You glance at your husband. "Perhaps some wine would be a better idea after such a long flight," you suggest instead.

"Only if you join me as well."

You can't just skip out this instant, you realize; that could raise Aemond's suspicions, and you don't want to deal with that. No, you'll make your exit when the moment's right, but now isn't it.

"If it pleases you, then I will."

His violet-eyed stare is unsettling, as it normally is. "It would please me very much."

You look back at Helaena with apology and affection. Here, at least, there is no bad blood to smooth over; your sister-in-law continues smiling at you in that otherworldly, enchanted way of hers. You also have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about. 

Things fall back into place again as the two of you both seat yourselves at the dining table; the music winds itself back up again, but it’s a new tune this time. You smile knowingly at a trio of courtiers you’ve caught trying to scrutinize you discreetly by one of the stone columns. Tongues never stop wagging at court, and you suspect the grapevine will be plenty fruitful on the morrow, now that Prince Aemond has returned. 

At the head of the table, your husband holds out a cup provided by his servant. "To your health," he says, watching you. 

You raise your own cup before bringing it to your lips. You sip cautiously, as you’re wont to do now. 

Tonight’s retinue of courtiers gravitate around you both, but none dare approach close enough for discourse. From your vantage point, adjacent to the Prince’s own seat, you can see the Queen Mother’s tapestries on display along the gallery’s wall. She was forced to relinquish some of her favourites to King Aegon, he who has a penchant for life’s finest things. It’s mainly what you think about while nursing your wine, saying little to your husband.

"What have you been doing here in my absence?"

You shrug. "Things, here and there."

"Such as?"

For a moment, you consider telling him about your day traversing through River Row. Despite having never lived there for a day in your life, being surrounded by fishmongers and sea captains grips you with nostalgia you didn’t realize you yearned so badly for. More than once you’ve even had a selection of fish brought back to the Red Keep for your cook to try his hand at preparing. But why in the gods would you tell him all that? You want as little to do with your husband as possible; it’s as if the more you give, either with words or actions, the easier it will be for him to use against you, to lure you to the terrace you avoid like death itself. 

"Trifling things, husband," you finally say, fingers dancing around the rim of your cup. "I doubt you’d be interested in the courtly pursuits that maidens and ladies participate in to wile away the time."

"Hm. And yet my shirts have come back to me unmended each time they are brought to your chambers. My page insists you’ve been occupied."

Your fingers stop moving. "Oh. I didn't think you'd mind, to be honest. And besides, I realized I was too poor a seamstress in the end," you add for good measure.

"I ought to be the arbiter of that."

You know his gaze has barely left your face since he’s arrived, and it’s beginning to make you nervous. Instinctively, you open your mouth to apologize, but he cuts you off, his voice low and commanding in that calmly dangerous way of his. 

"I will ask you again, wife: what have you been doing in my absence?"

As the minstrels segue into a new song, you shift your focus entirely on him. The Prince sits with his back erect, one hand on the table; his face is, as far as you can tell, an attestation to his boredom and the company present. 

His gaze on you is another story, altogether. Beneath his stare, you’re reminded of the madness all Targaryens are supposedly capable of—that conquering dragons is madness itself. How else to explain wedding and bedding your own kin, or murdering them for sport?

Your husband has killed. He has killed his nephew, and once he has killed you. If you let him, he could do it again. You don’t know what he wants to hear, or what he even wants from you, but you know you’re right to try and stay clear of him.

One of his long fingers taps sporadically against the base of his cup. Tap. Tap, tap. Tap—

"I've taken to the arts," you confess warily.

He blinks once, and only once. "What kind?"

"Well, ink paintings have taken the court by storm as of late," you explain, shrugging. "There isn’t one person I know who hasn’t dabbled in it."

"And you’re taken by it as well?"

You nod. "Yes, quite. Our teacher is a good one, and I’ve done well under his tutelage. He hails from Qarth, actually, but from what I understand the art of ink painting comes fr—"

"Your teacher is a man," he states, cutting you off. 

You huff quietly, slightly incensed from his interruption. "Of course he is. Women aren’t allowed to apprentice."

Another tap of his finger against the base of his cup. "And how often do you congregate with this teacher of yours?"

You’re really hoping that your husband doesn’t plan on taking an interest in ink painting. That’s just what you need, isn’t it, the Prince hovering about your space while you indulge in a past-time you’ve genuinely enjoyed pursuing, and not just for social purposes. "Our circle meets once a week," you lie. So what if it’s actually more frequent than that? With a civil war on the horizon, you’re not even sure if any of this will last, and you want to enjoy it as husbandless as you’re able.  

Boisterous laughter rings across the room. You realize it’s coming from the King and his coterie, but the source of their humour is unknown to you.

"You must show me your work, then," Aemond voices. "I very much wish to see your endeavours."

You smile nervously. "Yes, of course. Perhaps soon."

He smiles back at you, but there is dark mischief beneath it. "Perhaps now, my love. Let us rid ourselves of this company and find sweeter things to do in your chambers."

Your mind halts, fearful and mortified. This is absolutely not the direction you ever intended this conversation to go in—far from it. You have yet to find a plausible excuse to keep the prince out of your bed when your duty remains unfulfilled, but the experience is few and far between. Your husband does not crave you; the suddenness of his request throws you completely off guard. 

Say something, anything.

"The time is late and you’ve journeyed far, husband. Wouldn’t you prefer the comfort of your own familiar bed? You’re back in the capital now, besides; we’ve plenty of time for, um, things."

He says nothing to you, but you catch it on his face. That gleam of madness again.

For a moment you think he’s ready to let it go. And then, without breaking eye contact, he extends his arm and tilts his cup sideways, Dornish red spilling out over your lap like a bloody waterfall. You gasp loudly for all to hear, but you're too slow to avoid it; the wine has soaked through your skirts.

"How careless of me," he says without even a sliver of remorse, his face turned upwards to your own, one violent eye aglow with calm mischief.

You'd shot up from your seat as soon as the wine splashed onto your gown, your chair screeching against the stone floor. The music had halted again and the discourse terminated, all eyes turned towards you and the prince.

In the hushed silence that has descended, you glare at the prince, fingers bunching into the folds of your gown not soiled by the carnage he has wrought. You're flushed with a mix of frustration and embarrassment, face warm as you catch attendants approaching you from the corner of your eyes. How could he?

"I was very fond of this dress," you say, waving off the attendants. There was nothing they could do to salvage the garment.

"Then you must forgive this husband of yours," he says, standing. "We will need to have another dress made for my lady wife. A much finer one, so that it wholly befits her status and beauty."

"Yes, indeed," his mother cuts in as she nears, turning you towards her so she can examine the damage done by her son. "What a shame. It isn't like you to be so clumsy, Aemond."

Despite his misdemeanor—or, perhaps, because of it—the corners of his mouth remain tilted upwards in a mischievous smile. "It would seem that reuniting with my lady wife has made me soft and befuddled," he confesses, standing. You take a step back, alarmed.

"Come, wife," he says. "Unfortunately in this state, you're no longer fit for company like this. We will bid everyone a good night."

You consider disobeying. I'm not fit for your company either, you think to say, but there is a shadow lingering in his good eye that you're wary of. Aemond will broker no argument or negotiation tonight. Besides, the stain on your dress is too unbecoming for this set, yes; you look down at it, noticing how it resembled a bloody island in the sea of the blue fabric.

In the end, it is the Queen Mother who decides for you. "You'll not want to linger in that dress for much longer, my love," she comments with an apologetic smile. "I'll see to it that Aemond makes good on his promise of a new dress. You are certainly deserving of it."

So you bow your head in deference towards her before bidding your King and his company a goodnight. Helaena kisses your cheek affectionately before whispering something in your ear. You don't think much about it just now, not until you're lying in your bed, coming to terms with everything that had transpired tonight.

What will transpire tonight, that is.

**************

You make it a point not to look at your husband as you make your way through the Red Keep, back to your own suite of rooms. The few restless courtiers still milling about eye the two of you cautiously.

In the now-empty corridor leading to your chambers do you finally voice your anger. "You did that on purpose," you accuse, turning on your heel to glare at him. Even his close proximity cannot thaw your feelings.

His smile remains placid. "Yes, I did." Not even a half-hearted attempt to deny it, you realize.

"Why do such a thing? What have I done to draw such ire from you tonight?"

The warm light that emanates from the torches around you sets your husband aglow while he studies you for a moment, silent. You freeze in fear beneath his gaze; it’s a look not so different from that which he'd given you before shoving you off the terrace—but no, that hasn't happened yet, not in whatever realm you've found yourself in right now. That won’t happen, so long as you play your cards right, so long—

You fail to act in time; he already has you pushed against the wall, his warm body crowding into yours. His hands curl possessively around your waist, face a hair's breadth away from your own. And while you desperately try to claw yourself from his presence, unable to discern between this Aemond and the one who killed you, between the sturdy ground beneath your feet and the ocean you were once plunged in, he only seems intent to trespass, to enforce his presence on you the only way a dragon is capable of. 

"Something has come over you," he says at last with a gentle tilt of his head, his hands tightening over your waist. "Where once you seemed intent to occupy every moment of my time, you're now avoiding me as of late. Why is that, wife?"

Heart drumming loudly in your ears, you try your hardest to maintain a passive look on your face. "No, that's absurd," you insist with the lightest of scoffs. "What reason would I have to avoid you?"

"That, my love, is exactly what I plan to find out."

You shake your head vehemently, trying another tactic. "So what if I have been making myself scarce before you? You’ve been preoccupied with matters of state, don’t you see? I only wish not to add to your burdens!"

He seems to be mulling over your answer while you try to keep yourself together, but his grip on your waist doesn’t loosen at all.  

"Perhaps you’re right," he affirms. "I’ve been a poor husband to you, haven’t I?"

"No! That’s not what I m—"

He doesn’t let you finish. "This needs to be rectified immediately."

You blink at him, throat parched. "I don’t understand."

A knowing smile blooms slowly along his mouth. "You will once the night is through."

**************

AN: Guys this was supposed to be like, 2k words, but here we are past the 4k mark and I have no excuses other than this plot escaped me. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! It’s been a while since I’ve written GOT fic, so I might be a little rusty. Let me know if you’re interested in reading more; I guess I could try my hand at smut or smth and I always planned to make our boy nuttier as the ideas flowed outta my head. 

Also, despite the sappy-sounding title, it’s ripped from Seulgi’s 28 Reasons which I had on full repeat because of its creepy, dark-pop vibe. Bye.

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #dark!aemond x reader

[ncteez]

HARD HOURS NCT TAEYONNNNNNGGGGG

OK OK SO YOU TWO HAD BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME YET SHE AIN'T READY TO PHYSICALLY INTERACT WITH HIM BUT THIS ONE DAY SHE FELT HELLA NEEDY AND ENDED UP DRY HUMPING HIM WHILE HE WAS WORKING ON SOMTH...

(yes this is my first time using this hard hours card so :')

i'm changing the idea a bit because I can't imagine withholding intimacy with him for so long, that he would genuinely be able to get work done when you finally get touchy, hope you don't mind! it's also kinda fluffy and probably not as sexy as you want but like, he's a comfort idol so i always end up writing fluffy sexual shit ;o;

warning: reader is kind of touch-repulsed.

wc: 1.7k

Taeyong is a good boyfriend. You can't help but feel guilty months in realizing how much he masturbates behind your back so as to not throw himself at you like he did in the early weeks of your relationship.

It's not that you're touch-repulsed entirely, but you just....you're more comfortable thinking about being touched and touching yourself than you are letting it actually happen.

So yeah, Taeyong is a good boyfriend. He's a patient boyfriend, and an understanding boyfriend. He seems happy despite your lack of intimacy toward him. Some people seem to mistake the two of you as just friends at times, even.

"Yong," You start, knowing he's busy but feeling some guilt after realizations hit you. "Are you happy with me like this?"

He looks up at you dumbfounded, his focus on his work being broken entirely by that question.

"What? Yeah, of course I am." He shakes his head at you, seemingly disappointed that he'd ever give you a reason to ask such a thing.

"Most guys, I think, would have left me by now." You say in a smaller voice, throwing yourself a pity-party.

"What are you talking about?" He asks, this time turning his entire body to you with his full attention. "Is this about last week?"

"No, no." You trail off, remembering how the two of you argued about which restaurant to go to, and ultimately not going to any restaurant at all. "I just noticed you like, watching a lot of porn and stuff and I guess I feel kind of bad that you need to resort to that."

He blinks at you, wanting to reach out and hold you or something but knowing that, for the most part, you only prefer short hugs, quick kisses, and gentle holds of your hand.

"You do recognize that I'm not just with you for the physical stuff right? I actually enjoy being around you for other things too, right?" He continues in a voice that seems argumentative. "I mean, I can admit to wanting to be with you in those ways but it's not exactly a requirement for me to love you."

You have nothing to say to that, knowing that he meant every word. There's a comfort there, where he admits to loving you without it, but also admitting to wishing he could. You're still at square one in your head though.

~

Maybe it's because you feel bad or maybe it's because something inside of you has changed regarding Taeyong. After him sticking with you for so long and being understanding about your issue, you feel safe in this new feeling. Neediness. It's not something you ever thought you'd be feeling toward another person in terms of physically, but since that conversation with him? It's like something clicked in your head that maybe you actually want to try.

You'd have to start slow though. Maybe you'll have to touch him first and ask him to just keep his hands to himself. Maybe you'll have to just ask to masturbate together first, or to makeout for a long time-- you're not sure. But for some reason, every single passing thought about how to get to the point of being intimate with him is a green-light in your head. You want it, suddenly, and you're excited about this feeling.

A little nervous, of course, when you show up to his house right on time and walk in as if it were any other day where you spend the night watching him work overtime on his laptop.

"Yongggggg." You whine almost an hour in, unable to stop thinking about this new feeling inside of you toward him. You wonder how he will feel about it.

"Hm?" He turns his head only slightly, eyes still remaining on the screen but making sure that at least half of his attention is on you and waiting to see what you need.

"Yong," You say again, this time coming up behind him and, shockingly, throwing your arms around him from behind.

"What's gotten into you?" He chuckles as he pushes himself back into the rare warmth you offer, the couch between the two of you offering a distance he's quite used to.

"I wish I could give you an answer but," You start, now rolling yourself over the edge of the couch playfully and landing your head in his lap. You look up at him. "I can't really explain it."

He's reluctant to run the back of his fingers against your cheek, but really can't stop himself with the way you're acting. He's shocked that you close your eyes at the feeling and sigh out in a pleasant way. So shocked that his hand stops moving, and he stares down at you.

"What?" You ask, reaching up to his hand and holding it there against your cheek.

"What're you doing?" He asks, reluctant again.

You smile and your heart skips a beat when you pull your head from his lap and position yourself to straddle one of his legs. It's not meant to be sexual but the feeling that runs through you within an instant is slightly uncomfortable. Still, not enough to stop.

There, he looks at you in a shocked and curious way, hovering both of his hands over your hips as if to offer some sort of balance if you were to fall over. Then, he's even more shocked with the way you reach forward and grab his face.

"I'm going to try something new today, is that okay?" You ask, not really letting him answer when you close the distance and start kissing him for real.

He's genuinely so fucking confused that his hands still remain hovered over you, and his lips aren't moving with yours. You can feel his eyelashes flutter against your face as be blinks, indicating that he isn't kissing you back at all.

This makes you try harder, lifting a bit on your knees and pulling his face with you as you try to kiss him better.

It gets to the point that you start to worry. Did you ruin this for yourself? What if he also doesn't like intimacy? What if he feels weird and doesn't want you now that you're trying, what if--

Oh, you feel his tongue gently running against your lower lip, and for the first time, you make out with your boyfriend.

It's strange, but it still feels safe. It feels good. Any bad or uncomfortable feeling is overshadowed with the thought in your head that you feel okay doing this. Like, you actually feel okay. You're not even trying to fool yourself.

And when the kiss grows more and more heated, he pulls back at the feeling of your weak grinds against his leg. He lets out a breath, and then lands his hands on your hips finally to still your movements.

"Please, tell me you're not doing this because you think it's what I need from you," He starts, feeling apologetic for kissing you like that. "I don't want you to do this if it's not something you're comfortable with."

You shake your head, grinding yourself down again and trying to lean back in to kiss him, but he stops you by dodging your lips and puts on a serious face.

"I'm serious, don't be doing this for me."

You let out a sigh, shaking your head again at him.

"I don't know. I've been thinking about it for a few days now and I just," You breathe out a sigh of relief, which is proof enough that you're comfortable enough to do this. "I think I want to try, if we take things slow. This? I like this."

He still looks at you as if he's unsure, but gives you a weak nod in return.

"Let's go slow. You don't have to do anything you don't want." He starts, but you can tell he wants to say something else. Even when you give him a few moments of silence though, he doesn't continue.

"Hm?" You ask in a sweet hum, blinking at him with so much fondness that you think even if this was for him, you'd still be enjoying the way he treats you.

"I guess, just, what are you trying to accomplish tonight?" He asks, feeling like the wording of that question couldn't come out any better because no matter how he asks it, it sounds weird.

"I just want to like," You glance around the room and start to slowly move your hips on him. "I want to feel you for a bit like this. And kiss you more. It's okay if your hands are on me too, but I'm not sure if i'll want to go any further for now--"

He sighs in relief, having an answer and a limit. Surely he's going to be struggling to be quiet when he locks himself in the bathroom later, but this is more than enough for him.

"Alright." He whispers in a smile, letting you fall back in to kiss him and continue to grind yourself against his leg.

For you, the feeling is overwhelmingly powerful, especially when you kiss him at the same time. You're shocked that when you move up, your legs shake around his thigh, and when you move back, you're able to focus more on how you're kissing him.

It's like your mind is moving in and out of reality but both sides of it feels good. This isn't something you're used to, but the needy feeling you had before still sits at the front of your brain as if you're ignoring it.

For some reason, this feels loads better than grinding against something when you're alone, or slipping your fingers in to relieve pressure. The fact that he's here and so willing to just be here for you through it? You really do think you love him.

He waited for so long just to have you grind against his thigh, just to have you put your tongue in his mouth, and still he maintained self-control just to check up on you?

Hell, you wouldn't be surprised if you end up becoming a sex fiend for him at this point.

And by the time you manage to release against him, he holds you through it. A sensation you never let yourself experience past those short hugs, and it felt like you belonged there. Even with his hard-on poking against you as he held you against him, even with his breath hitched from kissing you for so long, even with the way his hands grip you in a way that would normally make you pull away.

#taeyong smut #[m] #[h.hours] #[taeyong]

[faithlesbian]

ive been holding off on posting this bc ive been formulating my thoughts (also i never post) but since it seems we're having a racism in the buffyverse/fandom moment (should be every moment!) I figured now would be a good time to vent my feelings on the first slayer.

I do a lot of hobbyist research into the stone age its a long running special interest of mine, and ive just finished writing my dissertation on a number of things including primitivism in contemporary culture. so drawing from that i wanted to expand on the tags I left on the previous post, with the clarification that i am white and european and therefore am speaking from that perspective on this subject.

as far as I can remember, the original Buffy movie had flashbacks to the medieval period, with a white medieval woman in these flashbacks implied to be the first slayer. if that's right and I'm not just misremembering, this would tie in to the pop culture associations of this era with catholicism, witch hunts, gothic castles; all of which further ties into popular vampire lore. however, the tv show leans away from this, with vampires being the only demons vulnerable to christian iconography and most of the worldbuilding drawing from multitheistic (not sure if this is the right word) traditions, preferring pantheons of minor gods, demons as folkloric monsters rather than fallen angels, and the existence of multiple hell dimensions.

the way the show does this is often very primitivist, primitivism here meaning the (often harmful) romanticisation of cultures and eras considered "less advanced", interpreting them as therefore more exotic, interesting, or just plain better than modern western society and in doing so flattening them into solely an appealing primitive fantasy.

examples of this can be seen in the foreign and/or dead languages used in magic and demon research, the appropriated eastern and African imagery used in weapons and costumes, the writing of characters like kendra (who's "people" seem to know a lot about the supernatural but are never actually named), jenny calendar (who carries plot-relevant cultural knowledge from her mysticised "people"), and nikki wood, through whose son buffy learns the ancient - primitive - origins of the first slayer.

the choice to relocate the origins of the slayer from medieval europe to (im assuming, since they never specify) paleolithic africa make a lot of sense in context of the shows de-emphasing of christianity in their vampire lore. this would change the slayer from a warrior chosen by the church to fight unholy creatures, to a defender of humanity at large from folkloric monsters. it also makes the slayer line a lot longer, extending far back into human history.

you'd think.

because the problem is im not honestly convinced anyone writing these episodes knows or cares about the accepted findings that show homo sapiens originated in africa, I can't honestly say it comes across that they were trying to imply that the slayer existed before the first waves of human migration by depicting her as they did. i dont actually know if these characters are intended to come from the stone age or just an ambiguous pre-colonial africa and im being very generous by writing this post the way i have. I think they made the very simple connection of "primitive = cool and mysterious" to "black = primitive". the depictions of the first slayer and first watchers are tangibly racist. their treatment by the narrative is tangibly racist.

the first slayer is depicted as animalistic, brutal, and vengeful, but rather than have buffy empathise with her over their shared experience of being used as a tool of violence, the episode has buffy mock and belittle her down to making a joke about her unprofessional hair. the first watchers are set up as the backward patriarchal villains for buffy and willow to overcome by rewriting the terms of the slayer lineage, in both cases black characters are vilified to make white women seem cooler, more self-possessed, more powerful.

it's not just the treatment of individual characters. its fundamental pillars of the lore. non-european (and some minority european) cultures are consistently used to be spooky, occult, and exotic set dressing, while two whole season finales hinge on abject primitivism and antiblackness.

to clarify, i think in another show with a different writing team, the depiction of scientifically accurate (i.e. dark-skinned) early homo sapiens could be achieved in a wholly inoffensive way if these characters were simply written as people. removing the layers of primitivism from the first slayer reveals a traumatised girl who was forced to fight, just like fandom-beloved characters buffy and faith, albeit from a very different time period. but the layers of primitivism are the reason why she was written in the first place. the "primal" is mysterious, spooky, powerful, and therefore makes for good writing without ever having to clarify what it is you mean when you say "primal".

stone age people were not animalistic manifestations of modern-day people's repressed subconscious. they were people. the refusal to see this is another branch from the same root - that the writers see cultures and people outside of the modern west as less-than. but if their language sounds cool for a summoning chant, then they get to be less-than in a ~cool and mysterious~ way, i guess.

#if ive used any incorrect terms or misconstrued anything here id be much obliged if you could let me know #anyway. #analysis #personal #buffy the vampire slayer

[whetstonefires]

If Steve Rogers functions as the Superman of the bunch, the noble hero out of the past who inspires the others to greatness, what exactly is Bucky Barnes role, especially as Captain America himself?

I don't think that's a very meaningful analogy because like. The Justice League and the Avengers are very different teams, and despite their fairly similar ethics Clark and Steve are possibly even more different guys.

Captain America's is a solid general all-rounder, very mid-level in terms of actual power. Problems are frequently too big for him. Superman is stupid strong--every so often something shows up that's more powerful than he is, but he spends most of his life finessing his way through using as much force as he needs without overshooting and causing unacceptable collateral damage. He can move planets.

Psychologically, there's a vast gulf there.

The legacy of Krypton and the, the myth of America are roughly the same shape but are worn in completely opposite ways. No one on Earth knows or cares about Krypton except through Superman, and even he doesn't remember it--sometimes Kara does--so it's just pretty shapes and a deep solemnity.

America is messy and current and in-your-face, it was there before Steve and it'll probably outlive him and sometimes he gets so fed up with its foreign policy decisions or civil rights abuses he puts on a different outfit or goes and lives in a bunker.

'Superman' is a big idea that rests entirely on Kal-El as a person and as a force; 'Captain America' as a concept might be built on Steve and his supersoldier status but it's not dependent on him, they keep making a point of that.

Meanwhile they've made Jon Superman but struggle mightily with how to do that without just making him his dad. Of course they'd be struggling less if they'd let him grow up at a normal speed or were willing to lean into what a fucking bizarre person he ought to be after seven years in a cave with his dad's evil twin; basically Jon Kent doesn't have a character right now and they think he can hold up a title. But actually they know he can't that's why they brought Clark back. Superman is a disaster right now.

So anyway. In classic terms, Bucky was the counterpart of Jimmy Olsen. Then he died--I believe this was established in a retcon in the 60s when they brought Cap back, when Marvel was getting its feet under it as the grounded, realistic superhero comic company.

Then Bucky and Jason Todd both came back in 2005 which was kind of embarrassing for everyone imo. Just like. Did you have to do that at the same time you're making each other's cheap stunts look even more stuntlike.

Bucky's actually done better over the last 18 years than Jason tbh, rip--I mean in terms of interesting stories and development. Jason got his own book and all, he just also was subjected to terrible discontinuity of character and was primarily written by Scott Lobdell for like a decade. Terrible.

In terms of who he can be compared to relative to Superman when he's being Captain America, I. Uhhhhhh. No one in any useful way, I don't think. The obvious place to look is the Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen period, but like.

Does Bucky have anything really in common with Cyborg Superman other than being a traumatized cyborg? No. Does he have anything in common with The Kid (later Kon-El)? You'd think there'd be something but there really isn't. Each point they have in common (i.e. dehumanizing lab background) they have diametrically opposed relationships to.

Steve's had duplicates and impersonators, I think the anti-commie guy he beat up that time is kind of like his Cyborg Superman equivalent? Except there's a whole political ideology thing going on there which is just not present with Superman. Anyway, not relevant to Bucky.

...you can I think draw some kind of relationship between Sam Wilson as Captain America and John Henry Irons as Steel, because on the writing end of things there's a definite flavor match, in terms of very deliberately creating a very cool black man and holding him up as an exemplar in a superhero story that otherwise has not got a lot of black people in major roles, and making him the best person to uphold the legacy of the Very Important Hero Guy. Like certain conventions are utilized the same in both instances. In certain ways that was two versions of the same story.

But also not really; Irons was very much pinch-hitting and what made him the best was that he was the one determined to do the work rather than claim the glamor; it's a lot more ceremonious and torch-passing with Wilson. A different deal. Although in some ways that's just because Marvel has hung onto and deliberately invested in the Falcon for decades.

DC Comics stop doing weird stuff with Clark's family and identity and reinvest in the supporting cast challenge. Where is Steel what's going on with him. Does he exist in this timeline.

#ask #hoc est meum #Anonymous #this is a weird question lmao #comics #are you the same person from the other day #i have the covid i have nothing better to do than ramble so good timing

[dream-phantasm]

Leona Kingscholar x Reader: Love Letters (4)

Ruggie's real introduction and Cater shows up! ^^ Hope you enjoy! No spoilers or warnings for now but this might change in future installments :)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 [!] | PART 5 | PART 6 | END

It's only after third period that you remember it's Valentines day once again. After everything had occurred, the letter and gift had totally slipped your mind. At your desk, you find a handful of dandelions with a note tied to it. 

As an apology and because he forced me too, hehe.

Suddenly, it all makes sense. "That guy from earlier! He must've sent these to distract us and pre-planned to steal the sandwiches from us!" You blurt out. "What?" Deuce looks confused. "Yeah, what?" Ace raises an eyebrow. 

"Henchman, I think you're being stupid dazo." Grim shrugs. "I'm not! Look, it totally makes sense! Everything goes wrong and then I get flowers and a card apologizing!" You explain quickly. 

"Yeah, but there's no way that guy could've guessed we would get the sandwiches unless…" Deuce stops, lowering his voice to a whisper, "Unless he was eavesdropping."

"You think he's stalking us? That's how he knew where I sat and everything!" You excitedly whisper. It was the exhilaration of figuring something out. "But why target you specifically? I mean, you really don't have a lot going for you." Ace stares you up and down. You roll your eyes. "That's exactly it. I'm the magicless one here. I can't do anything to retaliate." You grumble, you've long come to terms with your position here. 

You weren't going to lay down and just take it though. A chill goes up your spine.

You whip your head toward the classroom window. There's nobody…nothing there. "Fygaa! Di-Did'ya see something there dazo!?" Grim yelps upon seeing you suddenly turn. Deuce cautiously approaches the window and looks out. 

"Um, there's nobody out here…"

Ace peeks his head out, "Hey, if there's somebody there, you better not be stalking the prefect! They're really dull and boring and it's not gonna be fun for you!"

"Hey!"

You go back to pick up the dandelions. What a strange choice of flowers. They didn't particularly strike you as romantic flowers but you guess there was that myth of blowing on dandelions to make wishes. 

"Ah, wait…" Your eyes widen as you spot another letter nestled within the dandelions. "Oh, what is it?" Deuce looks over your shoulder. "Another threat dazo!" Grim exclaims.

As you unfold it, you realize it's way longer than the first one that had simply two words. 

Good day, You're so annoying. 

"What a great starter." Ace snorts. "Shut up, I'm trying to read." Deuce hushes him with a glare as he urges you to continue. 

"Wait, you can read?"

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

You ignore them as all three of them get into an argument behind you. Your eyes are locked onto the words.

Traditions suggest that I'm supposed to be sending romantic gestures on February the 14th. If you knew who I was, I doubt you'd want to reciprocate anything. I don't care if you reciprocate or don't. 

I know I'll never be the one you love most, and that's fine. It'd be ridiculous of me to assume that. Spending time with you is enough for me to deal with. I really dislike you for making me put in this much effort right now. I don't like the way you speak and laugh, it makes me feel irritated. 

I get this feeling in my chest and I'm really hoping it's heart arrhythmia or a heart attack. It's only whenever I'm around you, you really are too dangerous to be around. 

You let out a little laugh at this. You've gained your first substantial clue. You must've talked to them before. Maybe that's why you had a sense that you had met that beastman before. 

Besides that, you should actually be careful. That weirdo probably caught wind of this and is probably watching you. 

Now this makes you concerned. You had been feeling watched the whole time but every time you checked, there was nothing. 

Seriously, why was this Valentines shaping up to be a horror instead of something romantic? 

I'm not apologizing for putting you on his radar. You probably already had his interest since you're so bizarre. It's your fault for catching my attention, of all people, anyway. 

You scoff. You didn't ask to get stalked. Why were guys at Night Raven College like this? 

Yours Truly,

That's where it ends. No signature, no name. Nothing to really identify who had sent this. 

That beastman from earlier didn't seem like a person who would write like this, but you couldn't tell from one (possibly two) encounters. 

Maybe you should just catch that beastman and ask him yourself. Yes, that's it!

"Let's catch that food thief." You declare. They all turn to you. 

"What?"

"Nyahaha! Let's make him pay dazo!" 

"Uh, but how do we do that…?" Deuce rightfully asks. You blink. "Uh, we can start by asking around." You suggest. "Honestly, this sounds like such a stupid idea." Ace scoffs. 

"But I'm in." He smirks. 

-

Cater was scrolling through his phone, on his way to his next class, when you and Grim jumped in front of him. 

"Cater!" 

"Whoa!" He laughs, seemingly out of shock. 

Behind him, Ace and Deuce spring out. Cater turns around with a smile on his face. 

"It's nice to see you guys again. How has your Valentines day been?" Cater waves casually. "This is fine. Everything's fine." You send him a shaky thumbs-up. "Uhh, what's up? You okay? You having love troubles or something, hm?" He teasingly asks. 

"Yeah…" You mutter, you're not focused on the current conversation.

 

"But that's not the big issue! Some furry stole our food dazo!"

Cater chokes. "D-Don't say that, Gri! You're totally going to get cancelled for that…the term is beastmen." He quickly splutters, looking around sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah." Ace rolls his eyes. 

"Uh, Cater, we actually came to ask you for your help since you know a lot of people." Deuce speaks up, reminding you all the reason you had surrounded him in the first place. "Oh? My little underclassmen are coming to me for help! Don't worry, you can rely on your super dependable Cay!" He practically squeals. 

"Agh, now you've made it weird. We should go ask Trey, c'mon." Ace groans, looking embarrassed. "No way! Come on, just ask me. I can help out!" Cater insists with a pout. You wonder if this is a ploy by Ace to get Cater to agree to helping because it seems like it's working. 

"Henchman? Yoohoo. Are ya there dazo?" Grim must've hopped onto your shoulders while you were distracted. "Is that the guy you're looking for?" Cater asks curiously. He was behind you, trying to follow your line of sight. 

Outside, there's a field. Crouched among them is a familiar head of dark blonde hair and a large pair of fluffy animal ears. "Hm, he looks like second year Ruggie Bucchi from 2-B. From his animal features, you probably already guessed he's in Savanaclaw and you'd be right! I think he's actually a hyena beastman." Cater cheerfully gives you a short description of him.

You run outside. "Fygaa! Henchman, where are you going dazo?!" Grim tumbles off your shoulder, you already know he'll land on his feet. Their shouts grow further as you exit the building.

Their voices grow further as you exit the building. You gasp. 

You run into the field and you gasp. You weren't hallucinating. That was definitely a cute tail! Oh yeah, and that food thief.

You weren't hallucinating. That was definitely a cute tail! Oh yeah, and that food thief.

Ao3: HERE If you see it posted anywhere or by anyone else, it's not me.

#twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader #leona kingscholar #ace trappola #deuce spade #cater diamond #ruggie bucchi #love letters #valentines day #valentines #fluff #not beta read #still bad at tagging

[cozylittleartblog]

Oop, hello there! ^^ I remember you from DA, still think your art is so cool!! Still fond of the vintage characters and the world of Tessa n' Val! I'm currently testing the waters on Tumblr lol, hoping to get around a different vibe for documenting my projects n' chatting about stuff I like, and wanted to ask: as someone who's been on Tumblr for a while, what are your main tips for a starting artist in the platform? Wish ya a great day! Stay artful n' creative :]

HI!!!! i remember you too, i always get really excited when artists i like come here. tumblr is the only website i really use for myself and not just to post art, so it means i get to follow them and interact with their art 🥺 i ditched deviantart for everything that isn't posting art and bitching about the website via status updates lmfao, the new inbox and watched deviants tabs are so... out of the way and counter intuitive. hate it there.

anyway, I've written a general tumblr how-to post because there's been so many exoduses (exodi??) from other platforms over the last few years, but I don't think I've ever written one for artists? or at least I can't find it if I did. so here are some hot tips 😎👉👉

NUMBER ONE BIGGEST RULE: if you're an artist and you want to actively gain a following and curate your art, please have a separate art blog where you post exclusively or near exclusively art. it's ok to reblog a post here or there, but tumblr is a website About curating and having specific blogs! it's not that people don't want to see or hear about the artist behind the work, but they don't want 43289 unrelated memes and posts for fandoms they're not in 😅 admittedly i have skipped following some good artists here because their reblogs completely drown out their art and clog my dashboard. people really like curated blogs, almost every artist has a separate art blog 'round these parts. (it's completely fine to post WIPs and text posts discussing your art too, some people would like to see your process!)

speaking of curating: tags are your best friend! tumblr tracks the first 20 tags I believe, so use the first 20 tags to add your important search terms. this is where you put anything you'd want to turn up in the search. really you probably wont have more than 10 of these tags. after that you are welcome to ramble in the tags or use organizational tags for your specific blog.

not sure how to tag? search up what terms you'd use to try to find your own post if you were someone else, and see what tags popular posts in that tag used. you should ALWAYS use the #art and #artists on tumblr tags, as well as any relevant common trigger/content warning tags :D here's how i do it:

FOR FANDOM POSTS: where applicable, I tag Fandom, Fandom Acronym, Featured Characters, Featured Ships, and sometimes #[fandom] fanart and/or #[fandom acronym] fanart. FOR ORIGINAL POSTS: you can tag your art medium (digital art, traditional art, sculpting, etc), the general aesthetic or themes, time periods, and if it features your OCs you can use #oc and their names so if people want to see all your OC content they can find it. admittedly i mostly post fanart so i am very spontaneous with the tags i use on my original art posts lol

4. shorter captions seem to be preferred by the masses, I personally either dump my extra comments in the tags of the original post or I'll put them under a cut. unless it's extremely relevant to the post, like explaining ideas or headcanons

5. have all your handy links in your bio! you can use basic HTML coding to insert links with text and put in line breaks. you should have links to other socials (or something like a carrd that links them for you) and your support streams, like shops and tip jars and patreons. and ofc a little about you and what people can expect to see you draw!

6. have your inbox open! you don't have to take requests, but sometimes someone will throw a brilliant idea at you that you may Coincidentally be inclined to draw. it's also just fun to interact with people who like what you do! sweet comments go a long way

7. last one i can think of - do a seIf-reblog at some point in the day. people live in different timezones and not everybody finishes their dashboard. personally I schedule posts for 12 pm cst and then one seIf-reblog at 8 pm cst. it's also okay to reblog your older artworks for new followers to see, especially if you haven't posted in a while. TV airs re-runs and so can you B)

hope some of it helps!

#tumblr guide #tumblr how to #artists #ask #ninacti0n #will be following u from my main hehe #tumblr artists

[oldmemoria]

i have a lot of unorganized miguel headcanons that float around my brain at times but since i usually think of them at night and forget about them the next morning im just going to continuously update this post probably? anyway here are the ones that i do remember

i will either leave this in my drafts and update it when i want to or ill just edit/reblog with new stuff idk

edit after i stopped typing:

ok its time

fuck you

posts

identity headcanons first, because idk getting those out of the way feel free to get pissed off about these ill just block you 💖

trans man. he/him pronouns. probbably doesnt care if you use gender neutral terms for him because like... why would he, he has a multiverse to stare at

asexual, can't really figure out of i see him as being aromantic as well, i personally just think he's too busy to think about it atm but i dont think hes incapable of it. maybe arospec, like demiro or greyro or smth idk, i just know this mf is asexual.

he is autistic (and probably undiagnosed?) i will die on this hill as if i was a warrior cat defending the sunningrocks i will commit an oakheart fight me on this and i will throw rocks at you and then promptly get crushed by rocks as well (is that warrior cats spoilers um oops sorry)

now to the rest- that i remember- i have not read the comics yet so if some of these are like.. actually canon lmk because that would be really funny

this one might be a hot take but he does not hate miles. he wants to look out for him and definitely either currently regrets or is going to regret what happened in that chase scene. i genuinely doubt he hates any of the spider-gang hes just very, very worried about the multiverse. in his head thats the only way. (i am hoping and pleading that miguel and miles make up somehow, maybe miles doesnt forgive miguel and that totally understandable and would make sense but pLEASE writers i would die if you kept them as being rivals i genuinely would)

he hates Audrey Hepburn, fangoria, harry houdini, AND croquet. he CAN swim, he CAN dance, and he DOES know Karate. he still wont make it though. sorry man.

since hes from the future i dont think he'd be terribly confused by current slang/terms, hed more look at it like we see terms from like... the 80-90s or anything before that as "oh wow people used to say that? huh. interesting."

im going back on a headcanon ive had since i saw the movie im SoRRYYY but he cant curse. from what ive seen from the comics he uses replacements like "shock" and "bithead", thats it. maybe he says fuck on accident or in spanish (he technically kind of does depending on how you see "Ay Coño" being said but thats beside the point).

probably a blue eyes hater idk he just gives me the vibe of saying "jesus christ your eyes are way too blue, get contacts please im begging you stop looking at me" which is probably why him and gwen have so much beef.

i dont give a shit about what the movie says his fangs are not retractable fuck you. (he still has crooked teeth though i will never forget about those <3 )

autism be damned my guy can work a grill 🔥🔥🔥🔥

a lot of people cant really tell if hes pissed or not by his tone sometimes. is this projection? yeah, next question.

he hardly ever sleeps but when he does its like hes dead (at least when its dead quiet, which again, isnt often so he hardly ever gets a good nights sleep). you'd have to use a fucking blowtorch to the face to wake him up.

i also see him as not only having hypersensitive vision but also having elevated senses period. hearing, smell, touch, etc. probably the main reason he sits in the dark with no other noise.

branching off of that he frequently gets migraines of things get to stressful or too loud or if anything is very off about his schedule.

arachnophobe. ha.

cat person.

cat person as in he likes cats not like hes a catboy.. i shouldnt specify that actually that just makes it worse but i will anyway because tumblr hellsite will be tumblr hellsite

he partially likes lego peter because his daughter really liked lego.

ok but like think about it he'd probably be really good at taking legos apart with those claws. like imagine. it'd be nothing for him.

hasnt spoken to gabriel in years. he cant bring himself to reach out and when gabriel does he just doesnt have the energy to try and respond. he has no idea how to, especially now.

this is very specific but he stims a lot with his claws. like extend and retract over and over absentmindedly (mainly because thats what i'd do if i had claws imagine how fun that would be)

he usually bottles up all the emotions that he has, including anger. kind of explains why he lost it in the chase scene in my head because he reached a boiling point. he hates talking to people about his problems.

empanadas are his safe food, also theyre just easy to eat when your mouth is a little funky (i would know i have some fucked up braces theyre great for that 10/10), its mostly just easier on his fangs.

definitely horrible at the whole self are thing. he just forgets, all the time. would forget to breathe if it wasnt involuntary

if you say anything he doesnt particularly like (eg "hey bro are you okay do you wanna talk") he'll just stare at you with his rat eyes like 👁️👁️ until you stopped idk what im saying.

he is a bit touch starved, depending on his mood he'll let people touch him in a friendly (emphasis on friendly. friendly friendly friendly dont take it any other way :/) way.

OH I almost forgot about this one: he hisses. some spiders hiss. so does he. vampire furry energy

he also gets pissed when people call him a vampire so uh... im counting my days oops.

will go out and sit in the rain. (wait would it still rain in the future? is the climate still fucked in his timeline or nah)

like "ah, its water time" and goes out to sit like this:

Man if only there was a rain filter

that is all i have for now maybe if something else comes up ill reblog with new stuff >:)

#across the spiderverse #atsv #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spider verse #headcanons #his specific tag that i have for him might be......... #errrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmm #critter moment #eureka!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #CRITTER MOMENT YES!! #ok you can post this now ash no more stalling

[secretgamergirl]

Remember folks, "political correctness" is just bigotry with extra steps.

Stuff that horrible bigots love to gripe about overlaps with stuff that doesn't exist anywhere in the world beyond the imaginations of those bigots almost completely, and I could give countless depressing examples of this, but right now the one I'd like to focus on is the concept of "political correctness."

See, a bigot would have you believe that their very real, not at all made up oppressors, passed this draconian law back around, I dunno, the early '90s sometime, that says there is a Correct term for everything, and that you can only refer to a given thing with that Correct term, or you will be sent to prison. Also the list of Correct terms is constantly being changed and updated and you really have to stay on your toes to make sure you're up to date, and isn't that a huge pain?

Everything about this is, of course, complete horseshit. Nobody is oppressing them, no such law was ever passed, and there is not, I can't stress this enough, even a loose socially enforced list of "the words you're supposed to use for things." I also don't believe there's anyone out there who actually believes any of this exists, but feel free to get into it with your racist uncle or whatever and start pulling on those threads about where the list is, who maintains it, and what law it is that you break if you don't stick to it.

That said, there absolutely IS a habit held by bigots trying to look respectable where every few years they change their whole vocabulary up, generally keeping all the code-switching in lockstep with each other, and huh, if they AREN'T actually being pressured to do that by outside forces, why DO they keep doing that? And the answer is simply that it confuses people who aren't paying enough attention. When you hear people using new, more scientific/specific/cumbersome sounding language to say something, you might think "oh hey, this is someone who's way better educated on this subject than I am, because I've never heard these terms, so I should pay attention." And no, you shouldn't, because it's the same exact baseless crap they were saying before, they're just substituting whatever word it was enough people realized they were explicitly using as a slur.

Usually, to sell the "enlightened" image, the new terms they pull out tend to be initially pulled out of some actual academic/progressive sort of context. Never with any sort of actual acknowledgement of how the term was being used in that specific instance of course, just, "hey, I saw someone say this, it's the new 'politically correct' term for what I'm talking about, that means you can't get mad. See, I touched home base!" And I could give so very many examples here, but since I'd rather not step on anyone's toes, let me just stick to one I'm pretty sure people have moved away from more or less completely, then a couple recent trans things.

So, there was this period where people were constantly talking about "African-Americans." The original idea someone presumably had was that it was weird how we talk about people being "black" when for anyone else we tend to talk about in terms of the country they're from, maybe also the country most of their ancestors are from. Like you'd maybe call someone French, or French-Canadian, and wouldn't ever try to zero-in on some visible trait by which to identify people with roots in France. And like, sure, that's not a bad basis to start off a conversation about self-reflection and so on. And of course I'd like to hope the first time someone busted this out someone immediately chimed in with how Africa isn't a country and that really should have been something more specific.

But the context where the term first came up really doesn't matter. What does matter is some bigot caught it, and went "aha! There's something I can say to make it less obvious I'm a racist!" and just kinda did a quick find/replace on all their propaganda. Suddenly talking about how "65,000% of all violent crime is committed by African-Americans!" or how they took a vacation in, I dunno, Australia and "wow that whole country has just been completely taken over by African-Americans!" or whatever other racist gibberish they want to shout.

And of course this strategy DOES tend to work well enough to consistently get big swaths of the broader population on board and all pleased with themselves for keeping on top of things and being sure to use "more accurate" terms even when that leads to, you know, referring to the original inhabitants of Australia with a hyphenated term composed of the name of two countries they've never lived in nor can they trace their ancestry back to. And that in particular (along with being just too long, and completely failing to address the whole problem that caused the term to come about in the first place) is why these days you only ever see people saying "African-American" if they're particularly old and out of touch, or if they're just kinda openly being a racist scumbag and saying it with a sneer.

Here's another example. Earlier today, I saw someone who I know meant well talking about gender reveal parties and saying we should really call them "sex reveal parties," and I had to sit down and explain how no, that wouldn't help anything, and also it totally plays into TERF propaganda.

See, if you're talking about a person/animal/plant/whatever being, for example, male, you can either say "the sex of this here goat is male" or "the gender of this goat is male." These are synonymous terms, in this context. Use them totally interchangeably. The only time there's a distinction between the two is that we also use "sex" as a term for the act of banging/boning/gettin' down/getting laid/etc. etc. and you simply wouldn't ever say "see that woman in the red dress there? That's Sandra, we had gender last Saturday" and "gender" gets used to explain why like if you're speaking French and you're pointing out a particular chair you end up going "that's her." The whole language just kinda arbitrarily uses masc and femme terms for literally all nouns because neutral ones don't exist, but like you're not gonna cover a kid's eyes when someone stacks a bunch of chairs up, so it'd be weird to say the sex of those chairs is female.

But anyway somewhere over the years bigots got it through their heads that they kinda lost the fight on shouting about the pure sacred inflexible nature of gender and how impossible it is that someone might make inaccurate assumptions about it and so a lot of them just noticed this alternate term and started going "ah OK! It's sex then! Sex is the thing that's all holy and ordained by god and must never be questioned! Gender is this totally fake thing people made up to pretend otherwise!" Again, this is just complete horseshit. Sometimes they'll try and get clever and pretend they aren't just synonymous terms by shouting about genitals but like, no, I can say the sex of this tree outside that blasts me with pollen every spring is male, and I am fairly certain the tree in question does not in fact have a penis, thanks.

Others of course try to stay more current with things. They read someone talking about trans people being "assigned male/female at birth" in like, some academic context where someone was trying to explain how nonbinary people don't have one size fits all medical transtion needs or whatever and went "mwahaha! People know I'm a bigot when I point at women who happen to be trans and shout 'men' but I bet I can say this event I'm holding is for 'AFABs only' and people will think I'm enlightened!" Tumblr is full of them!

Anyway, point is there are not in fact any sort of magical words that make it OK to say bigoted garbage. Also there's no word police. Also I kinda got sidetracked but gender reveal parties suck because basically this one woman ended up getting an article written about the party she threw a few years ago when after a whole bunch of miscarriages she got a pregnancy far enough along to have visible gonads on an ultrasound, and a bunch of terrible people didn't really read past the headline and got this immediate weird competitive "keeping up with the Jonses" bug up their butts and prompted started having this weird competition to outdue this random woman's party through ever-escalating pyrotechnics displays, and those keep starting wildfires and seriously injuring people.

There's kind of a secondary concern too where they're on the ever-growing list of weird things parents do to really try and push their children into whatever boxes they want them in before they can get a word in edgewise, like how people don't let their daughters touch any toy that isn't explicitly a fashion doll, or would rather gouge their sons' eyes out than let them even behold the color pink. And, I dunno, I feel like part of the reason people are so gung-ho about the whole gender reveal thing is that they are in fact, very aware they are taking up arms in culture war there and they're pretty convinced they're somehow sticking it to trans people in doing so. But, eh, it's really more just generally being a weird creepy control freak treating children like property? There's a whole list of reasons you maybe don't want to do that before we get to the slim chance that it turns out your kid is trans, frankly.

#bigotry #political correctness #trans #racism #gender reveal

[grem-archive]

So I don't know if you'd have the time to read a specific text or not, but with the isolationism post going around now it seems like this is the most relevant time to ask? If you can't rn that's fine, I'm just curious to hear other people's thoughts on it, especially people who know more about American history than I do, because I studied Japanese history in college, and obviously compared to the isolation of Tokugawa Japan, America has never really come close to anything like that so I might be biased

Anyway, the essay I'm talking about is The Myth of American Isolationism by Bear Braumoeller, the pdf is available for free from Harvard (or it was when I checked earlier today). Nothing on his website gave me the impression he's crazy biased or super nationalistic and therefore unreliable, but I'll admit I didn't read any of his other work or anything to check

I guess what Braumoeller says just makes a lot of sense to me? I went through public school in America and had never even heard that we sent people to represent us at League of Nations meetings, especially not after we decided not to join, until I read this essay. I just remember being told we tried to cut ourselves off as much and as often as possible, but the foreign policy of the US in the 20s and 30s that Braumoeller points to and what I know of our foreign policy after that makes me feel like the US has never actually been as extreme about isolation as people make it sound?

Idk, I'm curious to hear other people's thoughts about his claims who have better knowledge of American history than I do, cause obviously my public high school didn't bother telling me that many details, and I know you gotta be careful reading about history from individual authors cause so many of them have a specific narrative they want to spin

Sorry this was so long

Apologies in advance for the length of this answer & if it's disjointed/repetitive. I've been really tired lately, but I hope it's still insightful. Take the following with a grain of salt yet an open mind.

Also to anyone with a better understanding of American foreign affairs and policy, I implore you to add to this post. Your knowledge would be greatly appreciated.

Alrighty, so I've been sitting on this one for a while. Mostly for the fact that foreign policy and international affairs are not what I study, even though often it's hand-in-hand with history. My primary study is also more geared toward archaeological conservation, field methods, and museum curation. I had to consult a friend for this who is more interested in this type of question. I would also say there are people within the fandom with a much better understanding of this than I do, and I would greatly appreciate their input on this.

It also took me a while to read the paper, which I could thankfully get through my university. No one's fault but mine. I'm easily unfocused.

I would personally argue that the United States has never been truly isolationist. Sure, we've had periods of fluctuating isolationist sentiment - something that Braumoeller even points out - but as he also rightly points out that this is relative, saying 'American isolationism' is most often challenged by the historian sect, "who tend to define isolationism by security policy," when it could be an ideology in more than one sphere of policy. It's not a cut-and-dry definition. One section of policy could ring with an isolationist leaning (no military action), but then a country stays involved in another manner (economic). One facet of public opinion could sound isolationist ("I want the US to mind its own business."), while another shows we'd rather stay involved ("But I don't want us to stop having an influence.").

In fact, I very much enjoy how Braumoeller phrases the American ability of the 1920s on the third page of the PDF: "...thanks to America's overwhelming strength, it could rely on banks rather than tanks:". Our security was economic rather than militaristic, in simpler terms. He goes on later in the paper to demonstrate how this strategy was used on more than one occasion. So, I would describe this behavior of the first half of the 20th century as non-intervention rather than isolationism.

Never have we cut our ties with the rest of the world completely nor necessarily tried to keep the world away, not even during periods often seen as isolationist. To look at a period of American history that I'm slightly more familiar with, we will use the Revolution and its aftermath as an example. I've seen it said by a fellow student that "post-colonial" America was in a state of isolation. This is untrue. Once again, this is a better described by non-intervention.

Let's look at the Barbary captives, three American merchant ships captured by "pirates" off the North African coast in 1784-1785. The Kingdom of Morocco became the first country to recognize US independence in 1777, reaching contact with us in 1778 via Ambassador Benjamin Franklin, staying in France. Sultan Mohammed ben Abdallah also secured for the Americans security of trade, saying any ship flying the American flag might be welcomed in their ports. A later treaty, the Treaty of Friendship, was signed in 1786, then ratified in 1787, both as a promise between the two states and to afford further protection to American merchants. Of course, it wasn't foolproof, as American ships were still at risk of capture by non-participant states, but this showed an American desire to still be involved with the world. This also showed a world open to this brand-new country seeking entry. The Treaty of Friendship was our first treaty with a non-European power.

Past that, we still desired to trade with other (colonial) powers, such as selling to Saint Domingue (Haiti), which only ended with the start of the Haitian Revolution in 1791. 1784 also sees the beginnings of ties with China as an independent state, with the merchant ship Empress of China returning to Massachusetts shores after a 15-month voyage. Our influx of imports and news from Britain even rose back to comparable pre-Revolution levels by the mid-1780s, especially as British merchants began to demand American customers pay their debts. I realize I'm citing trade, but trade can be political and also is a form of economic involvement.

We often quote George Washington as warning us to stay out of European affairs; yes, this is true that he warned against this. But I would look at his words from the angle of not becoming militarily involved. Looking for more companionable relations rather than flirting with gunpowder and bayonets, or even inserting ourselves politically in many ways. America still very much entertained ties to the rest of the world after the Revolution and into the next century, but we did very little to be physically involved in their sphere.

I realize I've sort of sidetracked the question, but this was the best way I could figure to answer it. So, to compare US "isolationism" to the hard isolation of Tokugawa Japan would be incorrect; the brand of "isolationism" we tend to hear about here wouldn't even be close, in my opinion. We wanted to be left alone but did not want to give up on having an influence if that makes sense. Hell, there were times when we flirted with being involved, but didn't actually do so until later or until prompted by some interest. A necessitated carrot-on-a-stick type nation, I suppose.

Also man...I guess maybe my school was the odd one out in teaching that we still sent delegates to League discussions despite not formally being a part of it. You are not the first person I've heard say this.

#callsign gremlin checking in #not hetalia #once again i am sorry for how long this is #i was hoping it would be shorter #even typing this i still wasn't sure how to answer this question #my understanding of this section of american history is murky and biased by a crafted education system #i do recommend this paper to anyone interested however #and once again i ask for smarter folks to add to this #gods know i ain't the smartest #i feel too tired to clean this but please enjoy

[silverselfshippingchaos]

occultation, earthshine, and libration for whoever you'd like! 💚💜

Hello friend!!!

Occultation: How quickly did you come to trust your FO? How quickly did they trust you? Were there many barriers that needed working through, or was it easy to get to know each other?

Hmmmmm I think I'm gonna answer this one for Eizen and Demyx! Water people!

Eizen, my beloved 1000 year old morally fucked up Reaper pirate, is not always the easiest man on the sea to get along with. He's known to be kinda violent, and is known as the Reaper because he's cursed to bring bad luck to those around him. He's not always a people person.

That being said, he's also a massive nerd. Mention art or history around him and he'll go off.

(Cute...)

He's also not human. He can be a little iffy around humans at first, but when he first meets Ash, he quickly realizes that she's not human. It's not just the red of her hair, but he can feel it. So immediately he's a little curious. Someone like him, someone who has been around as long as he has. But, although Eizen's element is earth, Ash's is fire (haha get it? Ash? It's a pun!).

So point is! Eizen was a little distrustful of Ash at first because what's some lost little girl have to do with him? But when he senses the magic she has and just how strong it is, he's curious. Curious, yet still cautious. As he takes her back to the ship and she makes a little passing comment about a painting he likes, he's even more curious because he thinks he may have found someone just like him, both in terms of being a lover of the arts and also being a Malakhim.

They're fast friends. Normally Eizen doesn't let his curse dictate who he spends his time around, but it's a horrible feeling seeing the one you love getting hurt because of you. There's a period of time of him distancing himself from her. But blah blah blah they talk it out blah blah they kiss, so on and so forth-

As for Ash, she may be a fun pirate in game, but she was very not used to the pirate life when they first met! If anything, she was pretty afraid. You see, Eizen has a scene where he snaps a guy's finger like it's the most casual thing ever. Ash is intrigued because a handsome Malak pirate found her, but she's also... mildly intimidated. It's not often she sees one of her own people that's not being enslaved by the Abbey, but a pirate?! A criminal?! That's not okay!!! Breaking the law isn't right!

Funny, since she breaks the law all the time in game- Eizen is a great influence!

.

Anywho. Other water guy! Demyx! Dance, water dance!

Demyx isn't used to having friends. Ash's memories are fuzzy and barely there. They bond over a love of music, but Ash just doesn't remember a lot of things. Demyx is pretty quick to be chill around her since she's a very hard-worker! In fact, Xemnas sees her as quite the useful tool.

So Demyx assumes he can get away with Ash carrying his weight on missions. He never knew he'd fall for her.

Ash is a little quick to trust him since she can't remember much, and some other members of the Organization are honestly kind of frightening. They get along well after a while, but it's a slow start. They need to start talking because they really feel a spark.

Though Ash did thing Demyx was very cute at first glance! After all, I fell for him the first time I saw him!

.

Earthshine: Do you live together? Do you ever argue over interior decoration choices?

I'm gonna answer this one for Kyohei! My beloved husband!

Yes and yes.

They happily life together, but the thing is that this Ash S/I is pretty similar to me. She owns a lot of books, she owns a lot of albums and figures and video games. As a result, she likes to have a lot of bookshelves.

Her and Kyohei don't really fight very often because of how open they are with each other (Kyohei is the #1 wife guy after all LMAO), but Kyohei is a little tired of her constantly wanting new shelves and needing his help displaying things.

A lot of their dates are them building shit from IKEA together haha! Ash always teases about how since he works in construction, this shouldn't be anything new! He rolls his eyes and says that what he does isn't this, but he loves seeing how big his wife's smile is. In addition, Ash is kinda short, so Kyohei is always helping her put stuff on shelves and grab things for her.

Sometimes he even asks her for a kiss as payment. Ash gives him two.

Overall, Kyohei honestly loves how much Ash works on personalizing their home. The pictures (he keeps a picture of their wedding in his wallet too) on the walls, some of Ash's cosplay stuff, all the shelves and funky colors... It really makes it feel like a home. He loves his wife! And his wife loves him too.

.

Libration: Are they the type for jewelry? What style would they wear? Gaudy or minimalist?

Oh man oh man oh man- Great question! I love jewelry a lot, and you will never see me not blinged out. I have a huge collection and I never go out without my earrings and rings. Jewelry is totally my jam!

Kyohei wears a simple wedding band, but that's about it. He also has a necklace that was a gift from his wife that he wears under his jacket. He's not the biggest jewelry person, so he prefers things that are morw similar.

I think a more casual Demyx when he's not in his Organization robe wears a lot of jewelry! He thinks it's stylish and has several ear piercings.

#thank you sooo much for the ask! very dun #*fun #ash rambles 💚 #answered

[scvnthorpe]

No seriously, Focus on Testability

How preparing to test leads into everything else

(No but seriously, I can't find any currently existing tags for test driven development. Testing yes. TDD no!, apparently not!)

So, why isn't TDD the norm?

Now, this is important. TDD gets a lot of praise in theory, but does that mean it's the actual norm for what people do? Consider the following:

It’s embraced as a way to maintain high code coverage and write better code, and 41% of the developers who responded to the survey said their organizations have fully adopted TDD. However, when asked the same question in a slightly different way (“How often do you write tests before writing the code under test?” — the definition of TDD) only 8% of developers said they do this at least 80% of the time.

Something's kinda sus: why, if TDD is so highly regarded as a standard, aren't more people actually doing it?

People often say it slows them down in terms of productivity, but research indicates that this simply isn't the case! My guess is, it feels like a lot of upfront thinking for a lot of people to do. You have to know, somewhat, what it is you want to do and what the broad structure of messages within your program is going to look like (and believe me, that can change suddenly and dramatically especially if you're working with shit you've never really used before). Cue flashbacks to horrific UML sketching exercises and Waterfall esque development lifecycles.

Seriously, fuck that shit.

But it's also true, particularly in fields where automated testing period just isn't as universally accepted (yes, AAA games. It's AAA games), that many environments see Dev and QA/testing as separate software design concerns to be handled by separate teams a bit like how many people see Dev and Ops as separate concerns in software delivery. So, why make development do the testing in the first place? Where does QA fit into this? Apart from the fact that we've already established that leading with automated tests can increase the speed and quality of your work, the fact is that QA are some of the most overworked and under-loved parts of the industry. Leaving at least the unit and feature tests to the devs (because trust me, there are several levels of testing you can do) leaves more than enough higher-level testing and well, quality assurance, for QA to do.

Of course, these are just two major detractions to TDD proper that I wanted to clear up, but once one has decided on TDD there's also a litany of places where I've personally experienced friction. But, not only can these problems be overcome, but implementing all of the workarounds involved creates a battery of happy little accidents for your architecture.

So now, I'm going to cover some of the discoveries I've made while working through various issues in code testability.

1 - Smaller components are easier to simulate

Now, here's the kicker. The bigger a unit of code and the more complex the logic is, the harder it is going to be to change or to apply to novel problems within your project. Back in my bootcamp days I can remember working on a toy project to simulate a bank account - bank statements and all - and feeling like I was struggling to really grasp how to mock out the printing of a bank statement! As it so happened there were a bunch of dependencies on the internal state of the bank account object itself, such that in order to verify the correctness of the bank statement you'd need to know the internal state of the bank account itself. At the time I found the testing framework's tools for mocking/stubbing way too limited in the complexity of their behaviour, but you also shouldn't be reaching into internals to test shit to begin with! That's a recipe for brittle tests that don't permit radical change.

However, things really clicked into place when a colleague suggested I make the bank statement into a new object.

This not only gave me the opportunity to test bank statement functionality as an isolated unit, but also meant I could just stub out the bank statement functionality when testing the main bank account object!

But of course, stubbing out different parts of your program and doing injection to achieve isolation in this manner can be a real damn pain in the ass if operating under the classic OOP style. So if you ever find yourself blaming TDD (or even just testability) to be the problem, sometimes you should consider a solution...

1.5 - An aside on testing with time

But first, I'd like to mention that a tricky dependency with code testing is time. Now, there are a number of libraries for pausing or otherwise modifying time in a test environment - timecop for Ruby, freezegun for Python - and I've reached for these whenever I've needed to test some time gap, as far as feature testing goes at least. However, maybe there's a better way? Instead of reaching in and pausing time itself in the program's environment, perhaps we could have an object passed in from which to get the time - with the standard time object as the default - and inject a stub of this object when testing? In fact, in many cases maybe we'd rather inject a function to be called to get the current time rather than a whole ass object? Speaking of which...

2 - Consider mixing up your paradigm

As we've seen hitherto, the smaller and more straightforward you make individual components of your system the easier it is to swap them out with inert copies when it comes to testing: this allows you to test certain classes in isolation even if they usually require members of some other class in order to function in the wild as previously seen, but can also work with other dependencies such as RNG or time.

However, there comes a point where fucking around with injecting dependencies, class instances and object state simply doesn't yield enough benefit for the additional overhead.

From my own experience building a rather simple income tax calculator, I used a singleton instance to take the tax bracket configurations and then calculate the resulting tax given the income provided. Said singleton was also storing the result in an instance variable which was causing problems for subsequent tests with this same instance, which is where I realised I'd be better off incorporating a more functional approach in this case.

In functional programming, the focus is on producing units of code that always yield the same output given the same inputs and as such one doesn't deal in mutable state at all. This makes such code a natural candidate for terse tests that get right to the point without as much (or any) auxiliary setup.

Moreover, it's possible to pass dependencies at the point of call as you would any other argument in order to modify the behaviour: in fact, when the dependency in question is a function, the function being called is known in the functional programming world as a higher-order function. Likewise, in a test environment you can simply pass a 'stub' version of the function depended on at the time of calling. Thus, dependency injection, and thus stubbing/mocking, becomes a little easier too for the absence of instantiating other classes within a class and other such clusterfucks.

Besides, often the best OO programming begins to look a lot like functional. Seriously, google that shit.

3 - A little abstraction loosens a lot of coupling

I must admit, this next solution isn't something I've actually implemented but it is one that lives with me to this day.

For this one, I'm reminiscing on my days working with SQLAlchemy. What would tend to happen is that I would get the database session object directly, pass it into another object with data relating to the incoming HTTP request, and then call the method on that object which related to the SQLAlchemy query that was needed to perform the appropriate database operation. Now, I'd say this is a decent amount of abstraction; I and the others I was building this thing with could keep all those queries somewhere other than the main file defining the API endpoints.

But testing was a whole different beast: here, we essentially needed to prepare a test database (which is common practice) and because we were using something quite lightweight in development it actually wasn't unfeasible to just generate a .db file with each test run and then nuke the thing once finished. But, well, this was also a pain in the ass to do...

For data insertions, updates or deletions it made legitimate sense to at least somehow simulate the db and check for some change in its contents (but my thoughts on this continue). But a lot of requests were simply for data fetching, and yet still I found myself generating, pre-populating and then querying a whole ass database for the data - which again, is a lot when you are concerned first and foremost with testing your endpoints, not your database specifically.

The best solution I can think of currently is to have the SQLAlchemy session remain internal to another object/module entirely, and then only concern the API code with grabbing the result of a method on such an object/module given the relevant incoming data. This way, I can simply have the method required for the test be injected as a default parameter value into the endpoint function and stub it with a different callback when testing. I'd argue it's stuff like this that allows me to consider SQLAlchemy as a library rather than strictly a framework, but that's a post I've already made...

But that being said this is far from my final thought on the matter and following the rabbit hole of testability through to better modularity etc. is a continuous process.

In turn, I tend to like to think in extremely abstract terms and to draw things out on paper before I set to work on things a lot of the time, but a lot of people seem to prefer designing primarily by writing out a So, how can you balance doing your tests before your implementation with getting from idea to keystroke right away?

4 - Types, and other code signature tips for typists

I have to say right off the bat, I'm not that deeply enthusiastic about type declarations and declarations for their own sake - that is to say, I'm not yet convinced that I can use types themselves to define every aspect of the behaviour of my code.

Perhaps, judging from the words of some of my peers, there are some dazzling developments in type theory that are yet to come to my attention and a fortiori are yet to really become all the rage in the software world, but for the time being if I really want to know that I get a given, specific outcome for some given, specific input given particular conditions are met... I'll write a test. But that's me.

But again, how do we get a broad design into our editor without implementing before we even test?

A trick that I sometimes like to do when setting up to do something - bear in mind, I like to sketch things out on paper first - is to define a set of class or functions which just return a placeholder value but take the arguments I want to pass.

So if I can feel I need a function to doSomething, but I don't want to code blind, but I also feel like typing it out to get an idea of what it is, the best place to start is with what arguments it takes and what kind of data it returns. But again, we need a little more to go off of for inputs and outputs than just the names, especially if we have all sorts of potential data types we could use to represent these.

And this, in my view, is where type signatures really help to clarify roughly how a piece of code should be used in, and what it does for, a system, before you define the actual behaviour at all. From there you can write a failing test, and it's red, green, refactor from there!

Once those rough details are in place, we then have a basis for which we can start writing our tests! One must consider that this certainly isn't the procedure I always reach for, but it might tickle your fancy a little if you're considering TDD but feel weird writing your tests before you even really know what the interface for your code looks like!

It's also worth mentioning where type signatures can support smarter and more extensive tooling - such being the reason that Typescript exists (apparently) - and this will often catch silly little errors that would have stopped your code even attempting to behave properly. Testability is about speed of feedback, and hey, that spills over beyond TDD.

Moreover, as much as the Rust language currently carries the mark of a fierce dispute over the restrictiveness of trademark policy, it's rich type system allows the compiler to produce machine code that's comparable to C++ without the soul-crushing insanity. Cargo also comes with an in built test runner. Fancy that!

So, in conclusion...

Making your code testable may feel like it's conflicting with your design at first, but more often than not it can serve to push you towards a better way of assembling software. You get code that's more modular, code that can have new features added to it without having to wait and see if something else was broken as a result, code in which you can switch out even potentially rather big dependencies without having to scour the entire codebase, code that draws on tips and insights from a range of paradigms to do the most straightforward implementation possible given the need for testability vs code that's wedded dogmatically to just one paradigm...

And again, there are ways you can dip your toes into TDD or at least focus more on testability, to practice the spirit of the thing if not the exact letter!

In the end, you can get to the point where you're writing tests for your code that don't have to worry about specific internal details at all (well, most of the time).

That's how you get safety nets, not guard rails.

#tdd #test driven development #software #coding #software engineering #programming #software development #software design #computer science #code #software testing #software quality assurance

[stellardeer]

very long personal vent post tw suicidal thoughts, tw eating disorders seeking support/advice tho

So I've been coming to grips with the realization that I truly am disabled and that my life may never truly be "normal". I'm going to write this out as the thoughts came to me, so I can.. better capture my emotions surrounding it, more as a journaling device for me than for any real relevant context.

I was thinking recently about how fascinating it is to me what different people consider to be "a long time", with respect to like.. a period of time spanning multiple days/weeks/months.

It applies to anything, but all of the examples I can think of apply specifically to like.. relationship-related events?

For instance, I've known people who get out of a relationship and might say something like "I need some time to work on myself I'm going to stay single for a while" and then re-enter the dating pool after 2 weeks.

I've talked about "taking it slow" with people who seem to think that me still being unsure about things after 1 month is unreasonable.

I've known people who get married after only knowing someone for 6 months, which seems insane to me.

I've (foolishly) attempted to make up with an ex and, after hesitantly asking for reassurance that things would be different, been angrily told "It's been 2 whole months, I can't believe you'd assume I haven't changed!!" (Which.. like, that response alone told me all I needed to know, spoiler alert: he had not)

To me, "a while" is like... 6 months minimum, like if I say I'm gonna stay single for a while, that's at least 6 months. If I say I want to take it slow, I mean for like the first 2 months we're basically still just friends, and it'll probably take me half a year to decide if I actually see the relationship going anywhere. My spouse and I were together for 5 and half years before we got married and even then, I still wasn't totally sure if it had been enough time for me to really tell if it was a good idea or not, but I really wanted him to have health insurance and I trust him so I did it anyway. I've been actively working on my flaws for at least 10 years now, and I don't think that I'd begun to even consider myself "changed" in any capacity until someone told me like 3 years ago that'd I'd "really got this 'being a person stuff' figured out".

And at first this was just like 'haha it's funny how we all have different perceptions of time' type thing. And I started exploring reasons that might contribute to that.

At first I thought that maybe my long-term memory had something to do with it. I don't have like a statistically accurate measure, but based purely on anecdotal evidence, I feel like I have a pretty above average long-term memory. Forget the short-term, I can't remember jack shit about what I'm supposed to be doing at any given moment, but I feel as though I'd be able to pretty accurately fill out a day-by-day calendar schedule of events spanning back multiple months. Thinking about this, I realized that 6 Months feels like an acceptable minimum to me for "a while ago" because my accuracy for details caps at about 6 months, beyond that things start to get a little fuzzy and I only remember the events that stick out.

But then I started thinking about my life for the past 6 months, and I realized that most of my days are largely the same. So then I started to consider how our perceptions of time are heavily influenced by our lifestyles. I work 40 hours a week and use my weekends for activities, with sparse weekday events here and there when I have the PTO for it. The work changes week to week, but it's pretty easy to remember what I've been doing for 6 months when only ~8 out of ~30 days in a month consist of something other than sitting at my computer and writing code. Someone who has a very busy schedule might experience "more" time because they are doing more things. It's a lot harder to remember what you did every day for a week if you did 50 different things, versus only having done about 5 different things.

But this led me to thinking about my weekends. And about my work schedule. And of course the "isolation under capitalism blah blah blah" came to mind, like how frustrating it is that I have to ration my freedom between 8 measly days per month because of how our society is structured. I realized that lately I've been scheduling my weekends out weeks in advance because I don't have any other time to do something, and I thought about how a lot of those days consist of only 1 activity, and how that's both a sad and laughable product of the fatigue that comes after 5 straight days of work. I can't even clean during the week because after work I just want to relax so I'll schedule a whole day on the weekend just to clean my bathroom and nothing else, haha! Isn't that funny and relatable? A whole day just for cleaning the bathroom, because I know that if I try to schedule more than 1 thing in the day it will be too much! Obviously I'm going to remember what I did, cause I only did ONE THING, lol. And I'm not even talking a deep clean either, I'm just wiping down the tub, cleaning the sink, and sweeping the floor, but I need a WHOLE DAY for it, hahaha! Isn't this a crazy universal experience??

Except that after repeating that again in my head, it really hit me that actually it is not.

Yes, it's true that a lot of people are affected by the capitalistic 40-hour workweek and have to relegate all fun to 2 days at the end of the week, and this is frustrating for anyone. But a lot of people are actually capable of doing a whole lot fucking more in 1 day than just cleaning the bare fucking minimum of 1 room. But I know that that's all I'm capable of. I know that I'm likely to not even be able to get started on that activity until very late in the day, and if I try to make any social plans then I'm less likely to complete the chore because I have to respect other people's schedules and they'll probably be wanting to meet up around the time that I would be just starting to work on my chore. So I can't plan anything else but that chore because I don't want to worry about how long it's going to take me, and I only end up doing the bare minimum to make it tidy and comfortable because any more than that will exhaust me. I'm already spent after cleaning only the tub, sink, and the floor. There are areas of my house that will more than likely NEVER be cleaned because I will never have the time nor energy to decide that it's worth cleaning. I clean my bathroom maybe once a month, because that's literally all that I can manage, there's no chance in hell I'm ever going to be able to waste effort on, idk, the top of the fridge?? The baseboards? The cracks beside the stove? They're all disgusting and likely will be til the day I move from here.

And I realized that even when I plan these Single Activity Days, I CAN'T EVEN COMPLETE THEM WITHOUT BEING MEDICATED ON MY PRESCRIPTION AMPHETAMINES.

Yes, this is relatable for millions of other people in my shoes, but thinking about all this just like... really truly hit me how fucking DIFFICULT life is for me, and how I am fucking kidding myself at this point if I think I'm ever going to be Normal™.

I can't even get out of my fucking bed most days. Not without my meds anyway, which is FINE, but sometimes it can be hours before I even take my meds because just taking my meds is a whole fucking task in itself!!! But even though my meds help, they're also fucking killing me at the same time. I'm already fucking underweight, I have been my entire life, I've never been anorexic or bulimic or anything, I just suck at feeding myself, and my meds are sapping the fucking life out of me because they suppress my appetite, and leave me even more weak and crumpled at the end of the day than I might have been otherwise. I feel like at this point I'm choosing between having enough energy and motivation to make money and live while wasting away day by day until it kills me OR being able to eat but being UNable to do literally anything else with myself without being EXTREMELY exhausted and depressed.

And the worst part is that my social life is ABSOLUTELY suffering for it, like I can't even BEGIN to entertain the idea of building new connections right now (let alone maintain existing ones!!!!) because I'm in such poor health that it's all I can think about at all times. It's like I have to choose between my work, my animals, my health, and my social life, but the social life isn't even really on the fucking table, while also ultimately being the MOST crucial of all of those to my sustained well-being! Like, if I lose my friends I feel like I've lost at life, like what am I even doing it all for at that point, you know? If I lost my friends I'd probably go fucking insane with anxiety because I would have nothing to ground me. I feel like I've become the dad in one of those hallmark movies that can't come home for Christmas because he had to work and he has to relearn the importance of family, but it's not like I can just stop working because I need money to LIVE.

Like, could I find a new job with less hours? Sure, but I'm not going to be able to work less and still make the same amount of money, and given that I am completely independent now and would probably have to choose between losing my home and starving myself anyway, it's not like life would be any easier! I can't lose my home because I have nowhere else to go and I have too many animals to support, so quitting my job isn't fucking possible.

Could I rehome my animals to reduce some of my overall stress? I mean yeah, but they are literally the only thing keeping me alive right now. Some days the only thing that gets me to get up out of my bed is the fact that I HAVE TO walk my dogs outside, I can't have a fence, they have to be on a leash, and they are NOT gonna go to the bathroom inside, so I HAVE TO get up and take them out. And even then, if I somehow let myself get so negligent that I stopped caring if they shit and piss in my house, I HAVE TO feed them and I have to GET OUT of my bed to do that. If I got rid of my animals I would probably just fucking kill myself because I wouldn't be able to convince myself that I had a good enough reason to get up every day. Not to even MENTION the emotional toll it would take on me to lose what are basically my fucking CHILDREN, so NO rehoming my animals isn't even on the table.

So then it's down to my health or my social life? Obviously I'm going to pick my fucking health. It's a daily fucking STRUGGLE at this point to do anything BUT focus on keeping myself alive. I feel like I'm playing the fucking Sims on hard mode, like I'm doing all I can to fulfill my needs so I don't die and it's impossible for me to prioritize my friends because I'm doing everything in my power just to make it through each day. Which sucks SO FUCKING MUCH because for the last few years I've worked SO HARD on becoming someone dependable and reliable, someone who is helpful and compassionate and puts others first, and now I just CAN'T. I feel like I'm no longer deserving of the title of someone who "really got this being a person thing figured out".

And I KNOW that capitalism sucks and whatever and we're all experiencing social isolation and we're all tired, but I know for a FACT it isn't THIS FUCKING DIFFICULT FOR EVERYONE. I see my parents, I see my officemates, I see my peers, I KNOW that their lives are nothing like mine. It took me 9 years to finish a 4-year degree for a reason. I'm on medication for fucks sake, it isn't even a fucking question anymore of whether or not I'm fighting a disability, but I've been telling myself for so long "if I just start doing this" "if I can just get this under control" "if I just eat right and exercise" that eventually I'll be NORMAL and FINE and life will be EASY, but the fact that I've been telling myself that for almost 28 years is an indicator that there is clearly some OBSTACLE between me and "Normal", and it isn't as easy to overcome as everyone keeps trying to get me to believe it is.

I'm disabled. I have a disability. I struggle to take care of myself alone. I'm constantly in pain and constantly tired and I have been for my ENTIRE LIFE, this is NOT NEW, this is not just because I have a fulltime job now, I have been this way for as long as I can remember and the only difference having a job makes is that I am now OVEREXERTING MYSELF every single day just to achieve A FRACTION of what others can.

Like, obviously, I know that step 1 is talking to my doctor about maybe switching up my meds and/or talking to a dietician so I can try to get a handle on my malnutrition situation. That's going to happen, it isn't even a question, because if I keep going like this I feel like I'm gonna be dead before I'm 40. But I'm just at a fucking loss for like.. how to COPE? Like... how am I supposed to deal with the crushing reality of like.. "It's never going to get better is it?"

I was yelled at and beaten for so much of my life for being "lazy", and told that I was faking or that it was all in my head or that I just wasn't trying hard enough. Over the years, I guess I started to believe it. I convinced myself that I just hadn't figured out yet how to do Life right and that's why things were hard for me as a kid. But I really feel like a 4 year old that refuses to participate in anything athletic because it's uncomfortably painful and tiring cannot just be fucking Lazy. Should that not be a red flag that maybe something is fucking wrong with them? Even STILL I have people constantly telling me "well just do this" or "don't do that" as if I really have a fucking choice. I get people frustrated with me because I don't have the energy to do something, and it's like they think I'm just lying because I don't want to do it, not because moving around is painful to me. But I've been ignoring my own symptoms for so long because I feel them everyday and I've just forgotten that they're there, and all I can say is "I'm tired."

And part of me feels vindicated in knowing that something IS wrong with me. All I ever fucking wanted as a kid was to be believed, to be LISTENED TO when I said that I CAN'T do something, it wasn't just because I didn't want to. Part of me feels relieved to FINALLY be able to prove that I wasn't just fucking LAZY and I wasn't LYING all those years. But there's also a part of me that internalized all of that and I'm unable to accept that I can't do things by myself. I mean even in a best case scenario, I get the perfect little drug cocktail to help me live a fulfilling happy life like nothing is wrong and I don't need to rely on daily assistance, I know I'm not going to be able to shake the resentment for the fact that I can't function without the medication. It's like... a bitterness that I have to do things this way forever and others don't. The jealousy that I couldn't just be born Correct or whatever.

Not to mention, I've been shamed for so long for letting other people do things for me that I feel like it isn't even an option. I think that I would GREATLY benefit from having a live-in caretaker, because even with my meds, I can only do so much and I neglect ALL of my basic needs on a daily basis, not just eating. But for one, I don't even know what the qualifications for that are, I feel like I doubt my health insurance would cover it unless I was unable to work. And also, I would just feel embarrassed about it? I'm absolutely in favor of the idea that anyone who needs support should get the support they need, but the people IN MY LIFE are the ones who make ME PERSONALLY feel bad for having someone else help me do things, and given that I've been made to feel like everything is my own fault, I feel like I would be given a lot of shit for paying someone to help me.

I mean even just like.. hiring a chef would help me tremendously, I don't really have the space for someone who is actually live-in, and I have a decent amount of disposable income so I think I could afford it, but somehow even that feels wrong to me. Idk, I think that part comes from like.. a lot of people seem to think that hiring any service worker like that is inherently evil, but I'm not mcmansion fucking rich, I live in a goddam trailer park.

Idk, I think I'm finally reaching the end of this very very long vent post, and if anyone has actually read all of this I really appreciate it and if you have any helpful advice for like... coming to terms with the fact that something really is wrong with me, I'd love to hear it!

[theglowworm2008]

Someone hasn’t been feeling too good.

And here is where Elenora tries to remember the last time she bled…

#yes...bled #because I can't remember the term you'd use in this time period #Lol #ts4 upgrowth #ts4 upgrowthchallenge #ts4 upgrowth challenge #ts4 antique generation #ts4 antiquegen #ts4 legacy #ts4 gameplay #ts4 challenge #ts4 vintage #ts4 1890 #Elenora Dalton #ts4 pregnancy

[punkpandapatrixk]

🌕Full Moon in Leo 🐞🐍⛲🐝ALL SIGNS

With the elements/signs of the zodiac, you can freely use your Sun, Moon, Rising/Ascendant, or even your Stellium (❗️)

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Leo is often associated with fun and recklessness, wouldn't you think? But the higher expression of Leo who is childlike is also learned responsibility. This Full Moon in Leo is asking you to take control of (more like taking power back or just being responsible with) the emanation of your energy. Where and what is your attention directed towards? If your Soul tells you that it isn't worthwhile, are you able to let go in peace? And if your Soul directs you towards something new, fresh, novel, unknown, risky, are you able to courageously change lanes and trust your Soul's guidance? Destiny, is truly our own making.

Blessings for 🐞Fire Signs

🐏Aries - 4 of Pentacles

The Universe is finally pouring in a lot of riches and personal fulfilment after you'd decided to take care of yourself. Indeed, there's so many people and things and dramas that aren't worth your while. They were gnawing at the health of your energy barrier, thus leaking your energies everywhere. Now that you've learnt the responsible thing to do to protect yourself, the blessings are just a natural response to that. It's okay to be selfish in order to raise our own vibrations.

On the other hand, there's a bunch of Arieses who still can't figure out what they're doing wrong in Life for their riches to keep getting drained without a clear track. If you're resonating with this, know this is the Universe's way of letting you know that your company is bad. You must ask yourself the questions asked at the intro of this post. Really, it's okay to be selfish to protect our own good vibes. Other people are also responsible for their own lives, you know.

🦁Leo - Knight of Pentacles

Your plans are advancing slowly, but that's great. Keep at it. You're going down a legendary path. What you're planning on doing will be worth your while because whatever the result may be, it's helping you grow up. You're becoming more patient, more responsible, and more clear about what you want out of Life. The efforts you put out will always come back to you, even if not immediately. You must trust the good vibes you're receiving.

If you're not feeling enthusiasm in your heart, maybe you're not really doing what's right for you. If you feel a suspicion that you're wasting your energy on something that won't bode well for you, pause, stop even, and rethink your plans. Especially long-term plans. Are you sure you're okay with wasting years of your Life on some project/dream/endeavour that isn't true to your heart's calling? Everything kills you anyway, might as well choose something you enjoy.

🎠Sagittarius - King of Wands

So confident! I feel the Universe is jolting your confidence game, even when you're generally already an optimistic person! Your heart is safe and you feel creative. Since Full Moon is a time for dreaming, it seems appropriate to dream a lot during this period. You can envision what kind of Life you wish to have for yourself, or even what kind of person you want to grow up as. It's important you keep your standards and dignity and not let other people's insecurities make you feel bad about your Fire.

If you're currently struggling with finding balance, try to keep this perspective in mind: Yes, you can be strong and passionate and opinionated, but remember not everybody comes from the same background as you. At the same time, each and every person also has their own base psychology; you don't wanna be seen as smothering, high-conflict, or insufferable, right? Try not to play the victim's game by hating on people who can't take your initial harsh criticism of their failures.

Soul Healing for Fire Signs🔻❤️

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Blessings for 🐍Earth Signs

🐂Taurus - 7 of Wands Rx

I guess this is indeed a blessing: you don't have to be so stressed out anymore, taking on everybody's responsibilities. For some Tauruses, you've finally felt that relief after making the decision that you don't want to care anymore. For the rest, you're still struggling with coming to this decision. At any rate, the Full Moon's energy is here to support you in this endeavour. This is especially important if you're working on someone else's hopeless project LMAO

Lighten up, babe. It's so funny how I'm doing this new format and the Priestess of Innocence is still following Earth Signs. This is the signature energetic imprint of your bullish stubbornness. Well, your decisions aren't affecting other people's mental health anyway. This Full Moon is in Leo—if you're not gonna learn to light up and have more fun, what are you doing? With or without you being stressed out, the world keeps on going and new problems are always arising on the horizon. What are you gonna do about all of that?

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo - Page of Wands

There's something new appearing on the horizon, yes? Get ready because it's gonna be sooo much fun and even newer endeavours after that are in store for you. However, you don't want to be reckless about it. Hardly, I think. Virgos are typically well-planned, but some of you could be too excited you miss the devil in the detail. So try to balance your excitement and trust in the world with well thought-out plans. However...

Let that also not be your downfall. You may be analysing, strategising and planning so much you forget to actually kick-start your engine to actually get going, dude. There could be a sense of fear when facing the new because something bad has happened in the past. But this Leo Full Moon is assuring you everything is gonna be okay as long as you have been responsible. If you've prepared the right ingredients and tools, maybe even connected with the right people/experts, the rest is just the courage to experience Life itself—see your plans come to Life.

🐐Capricorn - Queen of Pentacles Rx

Even in this new format, this energy is still following Caps LMAO Taking on too much of the world's burden that you become a martyr. The Universe is urging you to see how unhealthy this is for your own sanity. One, because you feel like you've sacrificed a lot for everybody whilst not receiving the thanks you think you deserve. You might become crueler as a person if you continue on this path, you know. You could become bitter and eventually, resentful.

After all, when you really think about it, has anybody actually demanded so much from you? In some cases, maybe not even; you demanded so much of yourself. You brought this upon yourself when nobody else was willing to put so much effort or take all the responsibility. In some other cases, you couldn't deny everybody's expectations and you thought sacrificing everything was gonna be worth it. I think this Leo Full Moon is inviting you to ponder if you've been taken care of as much as you've taken care of everyone else.

Soul Healing for Earth Signs🔻💚

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Blessings for ⛲Air Signs

👯Gemini - 10 of Wands Rx

Have you been working your ass off on something that's so far given you nothing but heartache and disappointments? This Leo Full Moon is ushering a very supportive energy for IDGAF o'clock. You've got to jump on that wagon if you want to save your sanity. Of course, Gemini is worldwide famous for being wishy-washy and unreliable as fuck, so the really responsible ones amongst you may not want to do that out of fear of judgement. Uhm... it's tricky, but this Full Moon you really need to save yourself, babe.

Then, after you've escaped your predicament, you really seriously need some time to gather yourself. You need to gather your value system, and this is important to help you become not so wishy-washy going forward. Gemini energy isn't serious and it must always remain lighthearted. If you're a Gemini dominant person and you're suffering deeply, what are you doing with your Life, seriously?

⚖️Libra - 8 of Wands

If there's something you've been wanting to release, this Full Moon is a great time to make your resolve. Once you make the decision, poof, it's gone for good. But you need to be heartfelt and courageous. And best believe the heartache won't last longer than you imagine. Something much better, even if that means an opportunity, is trying to arrive at your doorstep. Whatever hardship you're dealing with, know it won't last long if you have the courage to endure it in the first place.

Oh, and for half of the people reading this, this Full Moon is the culmination point of your patience. You've been brave and you've weathered quite a bit. All the good you've been hoping, expecting, it's just around the corner. So relax and know things are only getting better from here. Have fun. Be light. Watch a movie. Sleep.

🏺Aquarius - 8 of Pentacles Rx

This Leo Full Moon is blessing you with a time that can be dedicated to your personal development. Your sense of individuality is strong, but you often feel lost in the sea of people. It's because you can be afraid of your uniqueness being wrong. Sometimes it be like that. Smart people doubt themselves all the time. So this time, you need to make the effort to detach from all kinds of busyness that prevent you from seeing your authentic self.

Spend energy on your own improvement. Let yourself shine and be seen. Be a light to other people who are doubting themselves. Have patience with your process and don't be afraid of breaking all kinds of conventions. If you can keep these values in mind, slowly learn to embody them, transformation is not impossible. You can use this Full Moon energy to help you make a resolve. You're supported by the Higher Realms throughout.

Soul Healing for Air Signs🔻💙

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Blessings for 🐝Water Signs

🦀Cancer - Ace of Pentacles

There's a lot of energy that's supporting you in making healthy choices for your physical world. This can translate into you becoming clear about your mental health priorities, too. This here is only the beginning of your taking charge of the wheel of your own fortune. You're now mature enough to know your actions decide your future. You don't want to be confused by other people's stupid opinions anymore.

This Full Moon, you can relax and recharge to just get in touch with your sense of authenticity. It is your sense of self. Your place in the world. What can you bring to this world? In what ways can you be a shining light for other people? You do care about other people, after all. But this time, you also want to be in charge in HOW you spend your energy for caring for others. The Universe is commending you on this; and many things are gonna get clearer and your foundation becomes more solid. Everything's okay in your world now.

🦂Scorpio - 2 of Cups

The Universe's blessing comes in the form of balanced fluidity for Scorpios. It's about you being able to flow freely as you exist, and this is such a significant blessing, right? Because Scorpios tend to have control issues. The fluidity of the Moon energy and the responsibility of the Leo energy; this could help you develop to become a flexible and wise King. -We all know Scorpios love being seen as King. Admit it.-

This Leo Full Moon energy is helping you learn about balanced give and take. This is because Scorpios are often very unfair individuals before they reach maturity. Like, how we all know Scorpios want to know all but don't want to share any information with anybody. You're now learning the importance of equal respect, in regards to how you see yourself vs others. You against the world type of focus this Full Moon. It's the Universe's way of leading you towards finding (actually, attracting by your own vibe) the Love you truly deserve.

🎏Pisces - 10 of Pentacles

Your Higher Self is hardcore directing you towards charting your own existence on the world map. I know that sounds crazy, let me explain.

You clearly came to this world to make some kind of difference in the world. Doesn't mean every single Pisces reading this must go on to become Albert Einstein. But there is something heavily magickal about being a Pisces dominant individual. No single Pisces in this world is meant to become ordinary. Not even in your neighbourhood. Being ordinary is such a waste of valuable Pisces energy.

So now this Leo Full Moon is inviting you to start charting your own existence on the world map. -I can't translate this into simple Human language for this energy is super cosmic, so if you don't get that, you need to up your spiritual Game, dear Pisces LMAO- Whether that begins with daydreaming, serious contemplation on the values you can deliver the world, or just a great good fucking look into your family situations. The last one is super necessary to help you gain perspective on whatever is wrong with your immediate environment, so you can figure out your own healing power, as well as place amongst all of this chaos.

Soul Healing for Water Signs🔻💛

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Feel free to support me on Patreon if you love this kind of content🍑I create stories and tarot readings that calm the mind & heal from within🍒

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#Full Moon Soul Healing #full moon #full moon in leo #full moon readings #moon shine #moon magick #moon ritual #spiritual healing #spiritual growth #astroblr #astro notes #astro observations #zodiac signs #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #tarotblr #witchblr #tarot witch #witchythings #faery witch

[hwiyoungslesbiangf]

I was tagged by @braceletofteeth. tysm for tagging me <333

Rules: Tag 9 people you'd like to get to know better!

Favorite color: Purple !!!

Currently reading: I'm reading the Queen's Gambit !! I watched the show on Netflix months ago and decided to buy the book. Honestly? I really love it lol. I've read through it pretty quickly, although I'm not quite done yet. I like the writing style and the narration just moves so well. I never thought chess could be so interesting.

I must say though, I've been speed-reading it so that I could read Don Quixote lol. I love reading a lot but I don't find the time so often because I have soooo many other hobbies, but when I start reading a book and really like it, I'm glued to it.

I haven't read any fanfics in awhile just bc I haven't felt the urge to read them. I go through periods where fanfiction is just uninteresting to me. Mostly its because the one thing I want to read fanfiction for doesn't have anymore for me to read!! curse sf9s permanent nugu status.

Also started reading this Chinese bl novel? it reads a little weird because its a translation but I suppose it isn't too bad. not exactly interesting but just something to pass the time.

Last song: I believe it was Rush Hour by Monsta X. I love that song lol. Tbh I only really listen to Kpop, not much else. Thats just the kind of person I am tho!! Once I get into something I stick with it until I can't take it anymore. Last non-Kpop song I remember listening to is rises the moon by Liana Flores. It's very calming and I really adore her voice.

Last series: I've been watching adventure time lately. I enjoy kids cartoons a lot but the motivation to watch adventure time was bc of the lesbians lol <3 they're cute.

Last Kdrama I watched was probably a rewatch of SFH but I just started this ballet one on Netflix that I can't remember the name of. OH I also recently watched Tinted With You but I didn't finish it because I found it to be a little boring.

Sweet, savory, or spicy: SPICY!! I love spicy food sm. I'd have to put sweet and savory on equal levels bc I like them both!!

Currently working on: Hmmm. A few things! Some long term things I'm working on:

1. Finishing high school! I have one semester left and its kicking my ass.

2.My mental health! I have very severe depression and anxiety and I recently started going to therapy! I also started using anti-depressants and they've helped!!

3. My Kpop collections. I spend a ridiculous amount of money on Kpop merch because I'm collecting a lot of different groups!

My current photo card collections: OT9 SF9, 3 members of NCT, 1 member of Monsta X (and some ot5/6/7 sets bc they're cute), a few enhypen pcs, and 1 member from Seventeen!

Short term things:

1. Writing Fanfics. I'm working on one of the requests I was given and I'm having a lot of fun! I'm excited to do the other one as well! I'm also writing an sf9 fanfic bc im sooooo emo about the lack of sf9 fics on ao3.

2.Selling a bunch of extra Kpop stuff I've hoarded for like 2 years.

Post the first GIF when searching your name:

dfgsjdhfkdsgfdskhfh my bf <3

Favorite season: So. This is a little funny. I'm originally from Hawaii!! Which is of course pretty hot year round. However, my favorite season is actually winter! I have a hard time handling the heat. I get really bad migraines and I constantly get sick when I overheat and it just sucks. I now live in the southern US which is either HOT or mildly cold. We had a 30 degree day and the next day it was 75 out and humid as hell. I like winter bc its just waaaay more comfortable.

9 people to do this challenge: @bonbonpich @chhagiya @micahrose-mountainnose @srabaskerville @loveforseo @moonjosteeth

uhhhh I ran out of people to tag LOL I don't interact with that many people here T^T

These are some people that regularly like my posts! I know you are all just strangers on the internet, but in my little monkey brain you are all my friends bc you think I am funny sometimes <3

#tag game #this was fun !! #my computer had a conniption fit #so i had to copy and paste this to my phone <3

[mackenzielovee]

fellow writer here seeking a little advice if you don’t mind!

how do you stay inspired to complete all of your wonderful series’? i’ve really struggled with keeping my motivation and sometimes i feel like i’m doing something wrong, it can be frustrating. any tips you have for writing a series in general? i would really appreciate it :)

i absolutely do not mind!! i am always so honored to get this question and i hope that i actually help! i typed a lot, oops!

to be honest, my inspiration comes from how passionate i am about the characters i have created. i love writing for them because i feel like i know them so well and i want to see their story play out.

i know how frustrating it can be at times, especially with the pressure of being afraid people won't like what you wrote. it's important to remember that your writing is for YOU, and if other people can enjoy it too, then that's a bonus!

also, you're not doing anything wrong. i promise. i have gone through periods where i feel so unmotivated and i just stare at a blank screen with no words and nothing comes to me. it's all part of the process. because you're going to have a few days where you have nothing but ideas and just crave writing at all times. it's totally natural.

in terms of starting to write a series, have a rough plan of how you want it to go, but don't get into FULL outline in the beginning. leave room to change the original thought up a bit as the story progresses and as you get to know the characters you create.

i used to try and create a writing schedule, and if you try it and it works for you, definitely continue. i personally found that inspiration hits me at different times, so i honestly write whenever im inspired. if you're out and can't write it right then, headcanon it and come back to it later. you'll probably be just as excited to write it as you were initially.

my biggest and most important piece of advice is to take your time and do NOT force yourself to write if you don't feel inspired. forcing yourself to write just means you won't produce the work you're proud of. that being said, sometimes i don't initially feel like writing, but once i get going im set. give it a shot, but if you hate what you've written, stop. don't beat yourself up. try again tomorrow!

my messages are always open if you have more specific questions or just want to talk or vent. i know how hard writing (especially on here) can be. please feel free to reach out to me if you want or need to. i'd love to read your work if you'd feel comfortable with it! tag me or message me if you want to :) i'm sure it will be great!

#ask! #anon #<3