#bc i’ve been feeling bad. and what makes that better? lesbians

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

#death note #death note fanart #misa amane #rem #remisa #my art #not kinktober for once #i just wanted to doodle lesbains #bc i’ve been feeling bad. and what makes that better? lesbians #i love remisa #i need to draw them more tbh #rem is fun to draw #love her long arms #and her face #she’s v pretty but i had to simplify her for the doodle #i will do a more detailed drawing of her one day #in other news i’ve made the executive decision to skip class tomorrow bc they’re doing nothing new and i’m tired #i have so much to do :( #at one point i had all of my shit together but now i’m a hot mess. what went wrong #getting back around to the ‘should i drop out of school’ phase. it comes back every once in a while #but i’m almost there. i just need to make it another year/year and a half #but then i’ll need a masters. ugh #i don’t really want to keep going but i also don’t want a shitty job though tbh i don’t want any job. i just want to sit in gardens and dra #but no. i must suffer for eternity

[fbfh]

robin buckley relationship and intimacy hcs

wordcount: 700

warnings: yearning, fluff, nsfw content, robin is really down bad for you, she's a switch but this is more about top!robin

a/n: JUST FINISHED ST4!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!

also robin being a bottom will be coming soon so will all of us

tags: @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @littlewinter1917 @thatawkwardlittlefangirl  @Sad-brunnettee

As with all nsfw works all characters are age up to 18+!!

THAT BEING SAID

HOLY SHIT LET’S GET INTO IT

Ty for requesting this bc I’ve been wanting to write it forever

As we’ve previously established, Robin Buckley is an AMAZING girlfriend

She’s definitely a switch

But like

A top leaning switch

Bc first of all

She hasn’t really had a girlfriend before

So once you had even started flirting with her

Useless Lesbian Mode activated

And then when you start dating, any time you instigate kisses or cuddles or any kind of intimacy

She just short circuits

You could take advantage of this and top her

But you have to act fast and keep her really flustered

Bc in a few seconds everything catches up to her

And she is so filled with love and yearning and desire for you 

The only way it manifests is by her topping the shit out of you

Remember how I was like “yeah making out with robin ends one of two ways this is the sfw cute cuddly ending”

Yeah

The other nsfw really hot ending is right here

And it’s robin going down on you until you cum at least a dozen times

The first time she made you cum??????

Oh my god

It did something to her

It unlocked a part of her brain

And now she is not satisfied until you’re both exhausted, dehydrated, and entirely out of orgasms

She is so, so into you

She can last for hours 

A quickie  by your standards is what most people would consider a normal session

And yeah she can make you cum crazy fast

She can have you writhing and clenching around her and pulling her hair in minutes

But by that point 

She really can’t keep her hands off of you

Literally

You’re so pretty and you like her so much and you smell so good 

And you taste even better

And that cute little face you make when you orgasm??

If she can make you do that again and again and again 

She’s going to

She is so good with her mouth

And her hands

Her hands are so soft and pretty and her fingers are so long

Oh my god oh my god

Half her diary entries are about you by now

Okay more like most

And a lot of them are very detailed accounts of the nights you spend together

She finds herself rereading old entries from time to time

She used to hate looking back through her diaries

Especially in high school

But now she’s filling them up faster than ever

The first diary she started once you two got together is her favorite

Bc she realized there won’t be one page in there where you’re not in her life

And let’s be real

She’s so fucking smart

She’s going to figure out what makes you tick

And moan

In minutes

And dear god, she loves your chest

Big boobs, little boobs, uneven boobs

Or as Steve would say, boobies

She loves them

She loves your boobies

Your boobies? Great! Your hips? Great! Your face? Great! Your hands? Great! Your laugh? Great! The way you look at her? Great! The way your lips feel on her skin when you press warm kisses against her? Great!

Me?? I’m tight as fuck!!!

Sometimes after you’ve been at it for a while

When you’re lying next to each other, legs still shaky

All the hickeys you gave each other blooming on your skin

You’re both so warm and blissed out and sleepy

Sometimes she’ll start rambling 

She’ll just start absolutely word avalanching about how great you are

How hot and sexy and amazing you are

How much she loves you

How much she hopes you like her

And mostly how she never ever ever thought you would ever like her like this

Like ever

Sometimes when she’s rambling like this she really wishes she could stop

But she just can’t

So if you caress her cheek and let out a sweet little giggle 

And press a kiss to her lips to shut her up

And give her mouth something else to do

She’ll be very grateful 

Like grateful enough that it might lead to another round

Or several

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley headcanons #robin buckley smut #stranger things smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things headcanons #stranger things #i want to kiss her so bad #she has such noticable adhd in season 4 #robin buckley is a gaydhd icon #like it was there in season 3 too #but it was so obvious #yes I watched the entire season in one day #yes I woke up at 6am to watch it as soon as possible after getting little sleep #i regret nothing

[arom-com]

hi hope this is ok but i've seen sooo many of ur posts tagged as renbrand and i am ... perhaps .... a little curious .... would u like to tell me abt them !!!! 👀👀 (its ok if not ofc)

Ofc!! I sure have been tagging them a lot huh

The short version is that they’re my unhinged lesbian ocs stuck in a murder timeloop

Longer version is this:

(I am not going to be able to explain this in any way approaching coherent) (but I will try!!) (sorry in advance for the Wall of Text)

So RenBrand stands for these two:

Ren Hayashi (23, she/they) university student studying criminal psychology, abandonment issues out the wazoo, Going Through It

Brand Reitveld (26, she/her) local gang leader, Control Issues TM, definitely the cat in whatever cat-and-mouse thing they have going on

They’re in love — it’s not even remotely healthy.

Basically, through no fault of their own, they got stuck in a long-form time loop (days/months rather than strict 24h) that resets whenever one of them dies, which wouldn’t be too much of an issue? Except a) they’ve never met and don’t know they’re stuck together, and b) Ren keeps getting fucking murdered

Bc!! Ren’s psychology prof is running a secret cult (trying to turn his crim psy students into serial killers, it’s a whole thing, very cringe of him) so she gets killed for accidentally getting in the way a couple times (she doesn’t know about the cult), and then ofc starts investigating, which only makes it worse (I feel so bad for her but it’s also really funny, saddest most pathetic sopping wet oc I’ve ever created)

(Some of Ren’s deaths are also caused by Brand who’s like listen I don’t have a grudge against you or anything but you do keep getting my people killed so I have to eliminate the threat, no hard feelings! And Ren is like I am in abject misery)

(strangers to enemies to lovers except the strangers to enemies is a speedrun and the enemies to lovers is a slow burn)

The story they’re from is sort of a dark mystery-slash-romance (think nbc hannibal meets groundhog day, which is certainly a sentence), and it’s mainly centred around Ren and her corruption arc as she goes from “tired student just trying to finish her dissertation if it kills her” to “codependent mob-wife who kills first and asks questions later”

I’m obsessed with time as a narrative device, and especially time loops, because it can be used in such interesting ways!! And the interesting part about time loops to me is that they’re like,,,,, rube goldberg machines for character development? You only stick a character in a time loop when you need them to undergo a pretty drastic change without a proper catalyst, and it forces them to wear themselves down to their bones, to find the very essence of what they are, and then build themselves back up again into their ideal and purest form of self. (Of course, some people just use them as a tool for romance, but that’s boring!! Boo)

Usually time loops exist to make a character better, because they’re given some kind of epiphany that makes them the best and kindest version of themselves. (Alternatively, they can be used as the cosmic equivalent of a washing machine spin cycle if you’re writing horror) But what interests Me is the idea of using a time loop to make a character worse, which is what I’m doing to Ren (and to a lesser extent, Brand)

And it’s not just corruption for corruption’s sake, either! Ren, as she is, is miserable — she’s completely isolated, unable to achieve any of her goals, and ultimately ends up getting killed in an impersonal way for impersonal reasons — but once the loop begins and she gets her second chance, she starts to wear away at all her self-imposed barriers and boundaries until she can start making her own decisions and being an active agent in her own life. Of course, she’s not choosing to do good, but the best version of herself is not necessarily Good or Kind, it’s just Authentic.

Brand, on the other hand — because she has more support and isn’t as repressed — is experiencing the time loop less as a vehicle for character development, and more as a perpetual time travel fix-it (which is SO fun, having two characters get wildly different outcomes from the same experience). Her problems are more interpersonal rather than internal, so where Ren is using the extra time to understand herself, Brand uses it to understand the world around her (and is thus doing a much better job at actually solving the plot, we love a girlboss).

Brand’s conflicts are with her brother (who I can’t even Begin to explain without adding another thousand words to this post), and (as the leader of the local gang) with the police & the murder cult, which means that a lot of her loops are spent information-gathering (and murdering, dw abt it)

Personality-wise Ren is pretty quiet, she doesn’t like to ask for things which means she gets into miscommunications a lot (people not helping when she wishes they would, people helping when she doesn’t need it bc they think she just doesn’t want to ask), she’s a very “the only one you can rely on is yourself” kind of person, which isn’t exactly ideal for someone you’re stuck in a time loop with but at least it means she never gives up? She also doesn’t really care what people think of her — or rather, she does care, but she doesn’t let it stop her

Brand is suffering from a lethal combination of being the youngest sibling and simultaneously the eldest daughter, so she’s great at asking for help and using her resources but it means that she a) is a little entitled about it, and b) needs to feel like she has perfect control over everything or she’ll die. She’s very possessive and protective over things that she considers hers (hence murdering Ren for getting her people killed, it’s fine they get over it)

Renbrand also come equipped with two sets of narrative foils (Brand’s disabled ex-ballet dancer brother and his bodyguard/love interest, and the cult leader professor and his prized pupil who both hates and loves him for what he’s become) but the word count on this is already obscenely, embarrassingly long so I’ll talk abt them another day maybe

#ok!!! that should be enough for now #renbrand #scattered-winter #asks #half of this is just meta about time loops I’m so sorry #feel free to ask more questions!! clearly I can’t shut up abt them #I’ve drawn brand I think twice? both should be under my art tag on my side acct #but yeah that’s the basics #calling them renbrand like rembrandt bc im so clever (joking) #I would do a rembrandt style painting of them if shading and I weren't mortal enemies #[clenches fist] god I love time as a narrative device #love making a character experience all their worst moments again while also giving them the opportunity to change #god. wait. loreliese as the degas ballerinas I'm SO clever #okay okay shutting up now #hope this answers your question!!! #edited bc when I was transferring this over it SKIPPED A PARAGRAPH fucking christ #so yeah if the mention of the murder cult out of the blue confused anyone… that’s why #attys yapping ✨🌷💞

[menalez]

im sorry if you’re uncomfortable with venting if you are absolutely just delete this or ignore it but i just don’t know what to do. so i’m a 14yo lesbian and i relate to how you were as a teen a lot (ED, bdsm, suicidal, trying to come to terms w your sexuality, etc.) i live in an incredibly republican + rural area and i have a bad home life, and my parents are like devout mormons and if they ever found out that i’m gay they’d kick me out or send me to conversion therapy or my dad might rape me. i don’t have any friends, and not in a dramatic way just genuinely i’m very shy and reserved so i don’t really talk to people and i’m too scared to contact the suicide hotline because i don’t want my parents to catch me or hear me or anything like that. i’ve been sexually abused my whole childhood by all male members of my family (two brothers + my dad) and everyone in my family knows, but nothings ever happened. they all blame me. i don’t know where i’m going with this, just background i guess but i don’t know what to do. it feels like i’m ruined and i don’t know if it’ll get better. i’m so scared of the future and just the world in general, so many men have abused me especially because of how bad my area is i can barely go outside without feeling terrified i’m gonna get assaulted. i don’t know how i’ll ever date or anything like that because acknowledging that i’m gay makes me want to vomit. i don’t know. there are so many other things but i just don’t know. i’m sorry for ranting i just don’t know what to do or if it gets any better. sorry this is long and ranting i don’t want to trigger you or anything sorry

anon youre still incredibly young and from what youre telling me, it seems like your environment is the biggest issue. i also was in a terrible environment at your age, although not the same kind of terrible environment, and it exacerbated everything. being a teenager is already a stressful & difficult time, so to have to face repeated sexual abuse & rape & constant homophobia & extremely religious upbringing all at once is bound to make someone struggle with a lot of mental health issues and at such a stage, practically NO ONE would be able to fathom something like coming out or accepting their sexuality while going thru the type of stuff youre going through. i know i absolutely couldn’t. while this isnt ideal, but potentially a worst case scenario, wouldn’t you be able to be leave as an adult? like, get some kind of job or go to university and leave them from there? bc i think a lot of these issues you mentioned will be an aspect of your past as soon as you manage to get out of that house & out of that community. ik 4 years is a long time tho so ideally, if you find an excuse or means to leave even sooner then i would assume it’d be better for you in terms of your mental health. i assume the stuff you’ve mentioned to be would be grounds for calling child protective services or the police but there’s no guarantee whatever happens to you when you pursue such a path would necessarily be better. regardless, i have no reason to believe it wont *ever* get better based on what you told me, just that your family is not the kind you can keep close contact with and stay with once youre old enough to leave. i think there’s hope for you and there’s a way out of this & a chance of a good fulfilling life in the future, there’s many potential paths you could pursue especially considering your dad and brothers are downright criminals and abusers. if possible, maybe call a domestic violence hotline bc they probably will know better on how to navigate this situation. i know you said youre afraid of being overheard, if possible maybe make the call when youre at school for example in the bathrooms or when youre in the shower (have the showers on and perhaps play loud music) or when youre home alone or outside alone

[radfae]

plz give us your opinions on the new toh ep queen <3

okay i apologize in advance bc i’m like almost done writing this while i add this disclaimer and i’m realizing it’s VERY ramble-y and my adhd brain keeps rapidly switching topics but i hope this makes sense HAHA

IT WAS GOOD! it wasn’t nearly as gut-wrenching as the last one but i do appreciate some good ship action (raeda and huntlow tugging on my heartstrings fr). a lot happened this episode and i feel like a big theme was character development and personal exploration, we saw that a lot with hunter, but most of all luz and willow! it makes me really happy to see luz get her palismen (palisman??) finally and string bean is so adorable! i was team snake btw so i’m happy with this outcome. a lot of people say that boscha was really annoying this ep but honestly i didn’t think so? i mean, she was a bit, but she’s clearly not a villain here; she’s just a traumatized mean girl teenager handling things badly. she’s developed some pretty bad abandonment issues from losing her grudgby team to the collector, and ended up taking those out on amity, which isn’t…great, but people are treating her worse than belos this episode lmao?? but ANYWAY i’m very happy to see hunter again <3 and i’m happy that his development is moving in a positive way. not everyone is happy about him having magic from flapjack, but i think it’s nice; it reinforces that flapjack is still with him, even if he’s not physically present, which is a nice sentiment. and like i am sorry he is going thru it or whatever but i MISSED him being an annoying angry boy,, and OH MY GOD “you mean a lot to me too” “cool, happy to help” KILL ME NOW?!?! THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.,,,, and i’m glad they focused on willow here too because it made me like her a lot more than i did previously. and ok going back to raeda the “i just like to come out and see raine” i don’t remember if that’s exactly what she says but eda literally risking being caught by the collector who still thinks she’s the owl beast just to see raine,, AND RAINE’S LOOK IN THE BEGINNING WHEN SHE GOES INTO HARPY MODE…… omg they’re in love. and i’m choosing to say raine is a lesbian bc it makes my heart happy. switching gears completely to camila,, just,,, in general,, her being a mother figure to so many of the kids and her conversation with luz to amity saying “you and luz are a lot alike”,, i love her so much i cannot believe there was a point in which she was controversial in the fandom. i’ve always been a camila defender. OKAY BUT THE ACTUAL EPISODE ANYWAY the collector is obviously being set up for a redemption arc of sorts; they’re really pushing the idea that he’s just a kid and doesn’t want to really hurt people, and it’s clear that he really did care about king (defending him from the coven head i forgot her name sorry lol, respecting his boundaries with his rabbit and not touching it, calling him his best friend, immediately not trusting belos when he said king has it out for him) and that’s why he’s taking his ‘betrayal’ so hard. i did NOT expect him to team up with belos ngl, i thought that this episode would be them defeating the collector and next ep would be belos, as like a first and final boss type of thing, but this is like. so much better lol. AND SOMEONE ON TWITTER POINTED THIS OUT BUT belos is ALWAYS looking down on people, specifically at hunter; there’s always a specific camera angle to showcase it, but in this episode, in his weakened state belos finally looks up at someone: caleb. belos has always been in a position of power in every relationship we’ve seen with him so far, EXCEPT for caleb. caleb is the only situation in which he’s been the dependent. which is really being showcased here and i liked the imagery,, and i’m curious as to why belos chose raine in particular? like obviously this is going to be used for some raeda plotline which i personally don’t mind actually but like. obvious excuse for ship angst is obvious. but i hope there’s some other reason than just “let’s make eda upset hehehehe” u know what i mean. oh and raine mullet,, pretty. if i had a nickel for every time belos possessed someone and they got a mullet i would have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice right.

i’m excited to see how things go with the collector next episode (new noceda sibling real?) and i’m excited to see king, eda and luz’s reunion! i really need eda and camila to meet like NOW. i also really hope that hunter is the one who gets the final blow on belos, like sorry to luz or whatever i know ur the protagonist and that’s your moment but he DESERVES it. and obviously luz isn’t going to stay in the human realm indefinitely but with her mom i’m wondering how they’ll work things out; maybe there will be a more stable portal and luz and camila will be able to pass through both worlds and visit as they please? or will camila just stay in the demon realm with luz? idk!!! i can’t wait for next episode but knowing we’re officially on our final hiatus and that the cast just finished recording for the last episode is also :’D a bit miserable. sad to see it go but excited at the same time

#tumblr literally cut me off bc it said my paragraph was too long. rude #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi!! I’d like a matchup, if you’re doing them still. My name is mar, my pronouns are she/they/he, and I’m a lesbian but since that terribly limits my options let’s just ignore that. Im a libra sun, Capricorn moon, Scorpio rising (and Scorpio Venus lol), ESTJ 3w4.

My main love language is quality time. I tend to like people who I can also be friends with (I’ve had the episode of falling in love w my best friend lol it’s a universal sapphic experience). People who I can spend fun times with, who share my interests and stuff, because then I feel like I’ll be able to share myself with them. I dont show it outward often but I’m a huge nerd lmaooo

I’m currently double majoring in musical theatre and intl relations. Theatre is a lifelong passion and what I’m looking to make my career, I’ve been in a few productions and they’ve been the greatest experiences of my life. Intl relations is a niche little academic interest (also my parents wanted me to also get a “conventional” major) that combines all my niche little study interests: history, political philosophy and theory, and learning about the different cultures of the world.

I’m also a huge nerd for astrology and personality typology (mbti enneagram etc) I’ve been learning astrology on my own for two years now and it’s fascinating to me. I’ve gotten pretty good at reading birth charts (even have some mysme astrology headcanons) and absolutely LOVE learning anything I can about the subject. It is, to me, a way of understanding not just how people work but also the mechanisms of life itself.

I also like writing, reading, and playing games in my free time. Rn I’m into reading stuff like essays and poetry collections and stuff. And my favorite game to play (the only one I play consistently really lmao) is genshin. I like it’s aesthetics and the lore has me absolutely sucked in. I also sing a lot, and dance. As for activities I like to do: anything social. Going to cafes and bars, going to plays, (unironically) shopping.

I’d say I’m pretty aloof in relationships. I’m really bad at expressing my feelings for the other person, I tend to be a bit insecure on that regard. I like to keep my distance, both physically and emotionally lmao. I’ll talk about whatever with you but it’s hard for me to be actually vulnerable. I struggle with burying my feelings with work and other activities, or disconnecting from the emotional side of the issue by looking at the practical.

My friends all describe me as very funny and I guess I am. I like seeing the humor in things and often point it out, and I don’t take things too seriously at times. I’m also pretty hard to read, but I’d say that’s bc I don’t tend to trust people enough to be truly open with them. I would obviously love for that to happen, though.

It takes a lot for me to fall in love, but when I do, I’m always hooked for a long, long time. I’m like… offhandedly possessive, wanting to spend all day with the person. I also want to know everything about them, like discover them kinda. Tbh I’m not very experienced with love in general (but curiously I write about it a lot).

Anyway that’s all I think is relevant about me idk if it’s a lot or not hehe I’m curious to see the matchup. Love ur stuff!!

I match with you...

Jumin!

It may come as a surprise, or it may not. It's just something about your energy that says that the two of you would mesh well together in your romantic typing. It's because the two of you understand each other better than anybody else ever would. When you are easily misunderstood by other people, it's hard to find that one person who just knows what you're talking about. In this case, when the two of you make eye contact, it's easy to see that you are kindred spirits that have been lost from each other for some time.

You both trust but only when it is necessary. You know when to set boundaries and when to be wary of the people around you. You know how to control yourself in the moment even if the emotions inside of you are going all over the place. You're just the kind of person that needs somebody who can be strong so that you have a moment to be weak. In Vice versa, it would also be important. He never lets himself have a moment with his guard down so would you, it's nice to know that he can do it without fear.

With that said, it's not that hard to imagine that he would have a vetted interest in astrology because it's not all that far off from the dark magic that he normally likes to read about. There's a lot of overlap in these interests so it's something he knows. He may not be as well-versed as you but you can trust that he can easily keep up in a conversation and makes you feel like you have somebody who listens. It's rare to have somebody listen to you when you're talking about something that you're passionate about because people may not understand how much it means to you when you talk about it. He knows what that feels like.

#ask #matchup #mod kait #pyhare

[nqbus]

i think i’m realizing that i was never attracted to girls and this is very confusing since i did have a gf for 3 years in high school and that was a whole thing.

i think, honestly, i was just attracted to our closeness. i think pan was a label that fit for me for a long time because i got attached and attracted to the closeness i developed with certain people. and maybe i didn’t have a crush on my other friend while i was dating my gf—but i just preferred being around her bc my girlfriend was just kind of. annoying.

the line between friendship and romance is extremely blurry for me. i usually end up developing intense feelings (thanks to the ‘ism) for people that i feel close to so it’s hard to tell when i want to just Spend time with them or when i want to Actually make out maybe. and physical attraction and closeness is a very big aspect of how i feel love and distinguish the two. it’s actually been easier to tell how i feel about things platonically now that i have a partner that i’ve been with for years bc like. all of my romantic focus is on them specifically so it’s easier to identify what platonicness feels like.

after reading that post detailing transmasc comphet i’ve been thinking about it A Lot and god i think it’s true. it doesn’t scare me or anything but i’m just like dude what the Fuck. like i can’t believe this was a thing and i can’t believe i wasted my high school years stressed and struggling over someone i wasn’t even REALLY attracted to. thinking about her or girls etc never gave me butterflies never made me excited never made me feel warm and loved. it felt like a lot of rules and obligations and goddamn bad method acting by myself. i never fully fit in with the boys cuz i’m fucking queer—but i never fit in with the girls cuz i just wasn’t fucking Like Them and i never would be.

and like that’s the other thing; i was attracted to yaoi and high fantasy (lotr mainly) and shonen anime because seeing men be friendly but also the inherent homoeroticism of it like that Did something for me. and i think my gf knew. there’s a lot of things about that relationship that were bad but i think it’s why she didn’t want me to be a Real Man for so long; insisted that i was gender fluid or that i wasn’t like Really a man, that i was her boyfriend sure but not really. i don’t keep tabs on her but it wouldn’t surprise me if she identified as a lesbian on top of being demi now. the way i got excited about boys is how she felt about girls and just

fundamentally we couldn’t understand each other. that was just the small part.

i remember slowly unpacking with my partner now the fact that a lot of the reason i dated her is because of, essentially amanormative (i can’t spell but—) pressure. her mom and my mom and other people kept pushing and prodding and commenting on our closeness and how we would cuddle and hang out all the time. because we were best friends; at the time. and like. we would’ve been better that way truly even if we didn’t stay that way forever.

part of me blames myself for it all. that i ruined the dynamic by wanting to find myself and be something different. that it’s my fault i lost all my friends and i’m scared to make them now or that i don’t care about them unless it’s online and easily severed now.

sometimes i wish i was single. i love being with my partner and i wouldn’t trade it for the world like i’m dying with them that’s my soulmate. but the intrusive thoughts and questions and wondering are sometimes too much. i wonder if i would’ve waited longer if this wouldn’t be so rough to push and prod at. i think i’d be worse off in the end. i would’ve had to make so many different choices and even though there are many i regret who’s to say i wouldn’t regret others if i did it again?

this whole ramble doesn’t particularly make sense. i think i’m just kind of. flabbergasted that i really comphet’d myself just in a transmasc way. that i really just. understand attraction more but that means also being stupefied to find that i just don’t care about being attracted to women like way less than i thought. this is so wild to me but like. not necessarily in a bad way.

#he speaks

[mabaris]

When I say that I wish Morrigan was a lesbian, I don’t just mean that I wish she was romanceable by a female warden (GOD. I absolutely do tho). That's half, but the other half of that is that she feels like the perfect opportunity for a story about compulsory heterosexuality, and that's just as important to it.

She talks a lot about how she was sheltered and has little to no firsthand experience of the world. She knows only what she’s seen and what Flemeth has told her, but part of her journey centers around realizing that Flemeth is not always right, and that there's more to life that her mother could never have told her about. (The grimoire, sure, Flemeth would never have shared with her. But what really stands out to me is that when you gain her friendship, it's something she never anticipated. Because Flemeth taught her there was no point in that kind of relationship, and she believed it unquestioningly.)

Morrigan is no stranger to sexuality (because, well, she says that she's seen her mother bring men home), but it stands to reason that she has very little idea of how it relates to herself. If she has any experience at all up to this point, it's in a similar fashion: seducing people for her own benefit, ie intentionally manipulating them, generally so she can save her own skin (and thanks to the fact that the devs forgot to put female templars in the first game :) it’s implied that these have to have been men)

(And with a male warden who tries to romance her, she says that initially she was planning on doing the same to him: she strung him along because it served her goals, and she wasn’t expecting to actually develop feelings for him in return. She wants to create an old god baby, and she needs him to be the sperm donor. That's it.)

She knows only what she's seen from her mother (or what she can reasonably deduce by herself. She knows how babies are made). She thinks things like love and romance are foolish, and Not For People Like Her, so it makes perfect sense that, in her mind, having sex with men would be one of those things that you're just supposed to do. Even if you get no pleasure from it. Even if it disgusts you. Because you should feel nothing for the other person—otherwise, you're weak and naive.

But I'm enamored with the idea of Morrigan who still doesn’t have experience with friendship or love, who plans on seducing the male warden (which, in this situation, would be Alistair, until she realizes he’s too infuriating lol) because she has the same endgoal. But in the meantime, she makes her first real friend in a female warden, and doesn’t know how to explain things because she doesn’t have any frame of reference for what platonic friendship is supposed to feel like, but surely this can’t be right.

Just like in her romance as it’s currently written, she doesn’t know how to handle serious feelings, and she definitely wouldn’t know how to handle romantic or sexual feelings for someone who isn’t a man. That isn’t one of the things she knew could happen. It's unique because in this case, it's not comp het from society, because she doesn't participate in one. It doesn't stem from any kind of malice or ingrained bias.

It's the blind spot you don't even realize you have, in the same way that she has no reason to know what a flamingo is because she grew up in a bog. It's just the result of being sheltered.

#dragon age #morrigan dragon age #like. i can’t very well say ‘no one is writing meta abt morrigan’ when i won’t say my thing #pls be nice this is just my opinion #this is actually so important to me tho and like. absolutely crucial to the way i approach her #i’ve always been afraid to say something bc i’ve just had Bad times in other places #getting backlash when i say ‘this is my hc for this character and their gender/sexuality’ #i’m just here to have a good time and sometimes having a good time means avoiding the thing i want to say #idk whenever i post the meme i’ve made. the john mulaney raising his hand i think emily dickinson was a lesbian #ppl have always gone ‘yeah shes BI for sure’ #and look i don’t want to step on ppls hcs or make it seem like i’m trying to erase bi people by saying she CANT like men if she likes women #but i'm not just saying that bc i want to romance her as a lady. there's more to it than that #i’m OBSESSED with her friendship with a female warden and it feels like such a better segue into romance than what we got #like. the first flirt line with her is the 'you’re very cute to ask so many questions'. SHE starts it. to deflect #and not to say there can Only be one but 'girl help I was flirting with you to save my own ass but then I caught feelings for real' #is kind of zevran’s thing too and imo it works better with him #I know this is an incredibly reductive way to look at it but it's kind of weird that that's the catalyst for 50% of the romances in the gam #also i’m just like. tired of the wicked temptress trope In General and idc that 'this is different bc she's not CoNvEnTiOnAlLy attractive' #now I. wouldn’t actually trust the writers to be able to do this well #especially considering all of the other problems I have with the writing in origins specifically lmao #i cant stand the sexism that's 'oops i know we invented this world from scratch but it still has to be there :) because uhhhhhhhhh–' #and this kind of involves playing along with that #GOD also the. every man wants to believe two things about a woman: that she's helpless and that she finds him attractive. lesbian behavior #mine #morrigan

[spencers-renaissance]

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy

Summary: Spencer's gay. He joins the BAU and befriends the team, but it is 2003. It's a secret he has to keep. He just didn't expect it to be this hard.

Tags: gay!spencer, coming out, hurt/comfort, insecure!spencer, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, dad hotch, protective!hotch, protective!derek, childhood trauma TW: one instance of explicit homophobia, but it is referenced a lot, as is Spencer's internalised homophobia at the start of this fic. A shit ton of heteronormativity but tbh that's just canon lol

Pairing: Spencer Reid/OMC, Spencer Reid & Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner, The BAU Team & Spencer Reid

Word Count: 6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Consider this my contribution to pride month 😌 I've waited so long to post it and I'm so glad I'm finally doing it because it's definitely one of my all time favourites <3 Gideon is here somewhere but just like with all my early season fics he's not really part of the plot I combined my moreid and gen taglists bc it was hard to know the audience for this, but just ignore it if you're not interested!

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which is what you didn’t do, because you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore. — richard siken, a primer for the small weird loves

Spencer has only told one person in his whole life.

His mother guessed. For as long as he can remember, she’s used gender neutral pronouns when talking about his future partner, read him all the gay literature she could find, promised him that he’s perfect just the way he is.

The trouble is that Spencer only believes her until the first grade, when Ryan Sampson shoves him over in the playground and calls him gay. His mom had only ever used that term in a sweet, loving way, taking care to associate such words with positivity, as long as his dad wasn’t around to hear. When that word comes out of Ryan Sampson’s mouth, it is not said with sweetness and love; it is said with venom, and Spencer learns quickly that his mom is wrong. He is not perfect just the way he is.

And so, he keeps it a secret. When his mom notices him getting uncomfortable at the mention of future partners, she stops bringing it up, though she refuses to give up the diverse education she provides for him outside of school. His dad tells him that one day he’ll be a strapping young man and marry a nice girl in a church, and Spencer nods along. He ignores the way his stomach turns with anxiety at the thought. Ignores the screaming match his parents have that night. Ignores the fact that it started because Diana chipped in with ‘or boy’.

He’s in high school by the time he’s twelve, and the only part he’s grateful for is the absence of pressure to get a girlfriend. His dad’s out of the picture now, and Spencer tries not to let himself think that maybe if he wasn’t like this he might have stayed. Diana’s so out of it most days that she doesn’t remember what she noticed about him when he was a child, only recalling the last few years of shoving himself so far back in the closet he can hardly see the door anymore.

It feels like he’s lost his last ally.

(He hates that a small part of him feels relieved she doesn’t remember; that he almost feels assured by the fact that the last person to know who he really is has forgotten. There is only this version of Spencer Reid now. No other exists.)

He makes the mistake during his second undergraduate degree. He’s just turned eighteen but he is already a doctor and, fortunately, this alienates him from most of his peers, but someone manages to slide past his defences. Ethan Miller is twenty, in the second year of his (first) undergraduate degree in Chemical Engineering, and he’s nice. Spencer doesn’t have a lot of experience with friendship, but they get on well and Ethan makes him laugh. For the first time, he feels comfortable in the presence of anyone other than his mother.

They slip into an easy friendship: waiting for each other after class — Spencer back in the undergraduate buildings now he has his first PhD under his belt — and going out for ice cream and pizza and Thai food. Ethan goes to parties while Spencer studies, and then they reconvene to watch Doctor Who and play cards.

For almost a year, Spencer keeps his secret carefully locked up, hidden behind the mask he’s perfected after so many years. Even though he’s eighteen, nearly nineteen now, he doesn’t try and explore that side of himself. No, that’s far too risky. He doesn’t try and pretend any other way either, he just stays silent and lets people’s assumptions lie for him, but he can’t help the longing that claws up his throat when he locks eyes with a passing guy on campus. One time, he’d seen two men kiss on a bench in the city, and he’d run back to his dorm and had a panic attack. Why couldn’t he have that?

The feelings don’t stop, and he doesn’t know how to make them. He hates that he isn’t normal, but still longs for the touch of a man, the feeling of being wrapped up in strong arms, of being kissed by dry, chapped lips, and falling asleep to a heartbeat approximately 11% slower than that of a woman’s.

It’s a constant battle inside him, emotions raging, and he struggles to control it, suppress it, tame it.

He pays a sorry price.

Ethan makes him feel comfortable, and that turns out to be a detriment. He relaxes around the other boy: he tells him about growing up as a pre-teen in a high school, about how a child feels living 260 miles away from home, even about his mother’s illness.

And one day, it slips out. They’re on the beach, lying on towels as they look up at the blue sky, talking about what their futures will look like: Ethan will be a successful chemical engineer in Berlin, and Spencer will work for the FBI, profiling serial killers.

“You’ll have to marry a German girl,” he tells Ethan. “It’ll be tough to convince an American girl to move all the way to Germany as soon as you graduate.”

“Yeah, and what about you? You’ll be off fighting crime around the country, not much of a life for a family.”

“Oh, I imagine my husband will be the type to—”

“Husband?”

Spencer freezes. It shocks him as much as it shocks Ethan. He doesn’t even pay much attention to Ethan’s disgusted face and his outraged tirade. He hears slurs and insults, hears him say that he can’t believe Spencer tricked him like this, that he was probably waiting to make a move on him, that he was never to look in Ethan’s direction again, but Spencer is frozen in time.

He’s never allowed him to think much about what his personal life might look like in the future, but he’d said ‘husband’ on instinct, without thinking, and it’s clearly something he actually wants. Ethan’s words sting, but the moment brings about a realisation Spencer is thankful for; it instigates a journey of self-discovery and self-expression, of the joy of living as your true self.

He loses his first and only friend, but he gains something much more valuable. He visits gay bars — nervously sipping a non-alcoholic drink in the corner at first, before soon becoming confident enough to respond to the men who sidle up to him and ask for his name. He lets go and dances the night away, sometimes going home with one of the many dance partners he acquires during the night, sometimes heading back to his own dorm happily alone.

Makeup and dresses and skirts and heels make their way into his wardrobe, and he befriends girls and drag queens and other gay men who encourage him to be exactly the way he is. And the best part is, he never has to come out to any of them. All of them know, and that’s good enough for everyone.

The fun comes to a sad sort of slow, however, when he joins the BAU. Everyone knows law enforcement’s relationship with the LGBT community is less than adequate — Spencer’s seen it with his own eyes: butch lesbians and men in dresses getting roughed up by angry police officers for ‘lewd behaviour’ or ‘drunkenness’ when they’re just being themselves. It’s not safe for him to tell anyone, so he doesn’t.

He still goes out with his friends when he’s in town and wears makeup and dresses and crop tops when he’s at home, but presents as rigidly straight Dr Spencer Reid to his team at the BAU.

The hardest part about it is that he loves his team. He’s known Gideon for years — and he wouldn’t be surprised if he suspects something after coming over to his house unannounced one night, only to have a man other than Spencer open the door — but he settles into a comforting dynamic with Hotch. He can’t help but see him as something of a father figure, and he knows Hotch has a soft spot for him, always looking out for him and taking him under his wing without a moment’s hesitation.

Elle, JJ, and Penelope all take a shine to him, too, teasing him without a hint of malice in their tones, only the kind of playful kindness that reminds him of his mother. He forms a special bond with Penelope and they spend hours watching Doctor Who together and geeking out on all the areas their interests overlap, and the comfort he feels with her matches the comfort he’s found with his new group of queer friends.

(She doesn’t hold a candle to Ethan, he decides one night, after he’d cried at a movie she’d made him watch and she felt so bad she made him hot chocolate and jam toast and cuddled him until he felt better.)

Derek becomes a brother to him. He puts him in a headlock at least once a day — which Spencer has been reliably informed by multiple sources is a very brotherly thing to do — and teases him relentlessly, while simultaneously being fiercely protective of him. Enough so, that Spencer sometimes wonders if he even has Hotch beat in that department.

He loves his team and his team loves him. It should be simple. It is still 2003.

He comes in one morning late for a briefing, his shirt buttoned wrong and his hair is a mess, and he’s fairly sure that his attempt to cover the hickey at the base of his neck with concealer has been ultimately unsuccessful. It’s obvious why he’s late. Gideon is too engrossed in the case file to notice, but Hotch raises an eyebrow, an amused look on his face as everyone else immediately takes to teasing him.

“Who’s the lucky lady, pretty boy?”

Elle raises an eyebrow to match Derek’s shit-eating grin, “Someone definitely got some strange last night.”

“When do we get to meet her, Spence?” JJ asks, smirking as he takes a seat.

He’s bright red — as if he needed to look any more debauched — and Spencer tries to ignore the hurt that seizes his chest at the reminder of his need to stay quiet. This team respects him, and he can’t throw that away just because Spencer gets too comfortable.

God, he wishes Penelope was here.

“None of your business,” he mutters, trying to keep his tone light. He fails.

Naturally, Hotch notices and swiftly moves the briefing on, and Spencer keeps his gaze locked on the case file, not missing the absence of a reprimand from his superior. He’s constantly thankful for the older man, but in this moment, he wishes he could hug him.

(A voice that sounds dangerously close to Ethan’s rises up and taunts him in his ear: he wouldn’t want a dirty homo like you anywhere near him—)

Derek doesn’t let up on the case, continuing to bug him about the special lady in his life. He does concede that it could’ve been a one night stand, which is one front he’s right on, but a couple more concessions are necessary before Derek comes close to the truth of last night.

Eventually, Derek stops, and Spencer notes that the cessation of comments comes suspiciously close to the last time Derek and Hotch were alone together. He doesn’t have it in him to feel angry at Hotch for stepping in when he had it handled; doesn’t have the energy to act as though his pride is wounded, because really, neither of those things are true, and he doesn’t need to add another item to ‘Spencer Reid’s List of Things He Pretends to Be.’

The situation is forgotten, and time moves on.

Things change when he finds his first proper boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the giddying rush of emotions it turns out to be, and Spencer spends his days smiling as he daydreams his time away.

His name is Oscar Wilkins, a History professor at Georgetown University, and Spencer falls quickly in love with him. Ever since their mutual friend had introduced them at a gay bar one evening, they’d spent all their free time together. He’s kind and gentle and understanding of Spencer’s hectic and unpredictable job, and he finally has the chance to experience everything he quietly and shamefully longed for as a teenager.

The only downside is the silent breaking of Spencer’s heart that the most important people in his life can’t meet his boyfriend. He longs to show Oscar off, to hold hands in front of his team, lean up to press a tender kiss to Oscar’s lips. He wants to put a framed picture of the two of them at the Washington Monument on his desk to remind him of why he needs to get through the hard days; he doesn’t want to have to sneak out of the hotel room he shares with Derek to whisper hushed, loving goodnights over the phone.

But he’s too scared. Too cowardly.

It’s different being who he is with his gay group of friends littered with wlws and drag queens and other gay and bisexual guys. They understand.

But Derek and Hotch are two extremely masculine, alpha men: Derek’s a ladies’ man and Hotch is married to a woman he met in college with a baby on the way and both have a strong and dominant energy that still sometimes manages to intimidate Spencer even after all these years. And Elle and JJ are lovely — some of his closest friends, really — but sometimes they remind him a little too much of the mean girls he went to high school with.

The hardest person to keep his secret from, though, is Penelope. She’s his best friend and he desperately wants to give her all of him, but he’s so scared. He’s lost a best friend to this secret before, and even though he’s certain she’d be fine with it, what if she accidentally let it slip to Derek? What if Hotch found out and didn’t see him in the same light anymore? What if the girls started teasing him? What if Gideon didn’t want to mentor him anymore?

The fear paralyses him. And it’s a cycle he doesn’t know how to break.

Fear, though, doesn't stop everyone from noticing his daydreaming, his dopey smile when he checks his messages, his urgency to get home where he would’ve stayed until the small hours of the morning before. As excellent as he is at hiding his sexuality, he’s fucking terrible at hiding the fact that he’s in love: it was easy enough to pretend he was straight, but hiding something this all-consuming is an impossible ask.

Derek comes over to perch on the edge of his desk one afternoon, sighing as he sits down. “Pretty boy, this is getting ridiculous,” he says, snatching Spencer’s attention away from his phone. “You’ve been grinning like an idiot for the last twenty minutes as you’ve texted Future Mrs Reid. When are we going to meet her?”

(He hates the new nickname the team has given his mystery significant other, although Oscar had found it hilarious. “It’s funny because when we get married, we’ll hardly be able to tell,” he’d argued through his laughter. “Neither of us will change our name because of our academic profiles, and we’ll both still be ‘Dr’. Our wedding rings will be the only indicator.”

Spencer hadn’t argued back, because he’d been too tongue-tied and flushed pink at Oscar’s use of ‘when’ in regards to their hypothetical nuptials. It was only made bearable by Oscar kissing him gently and tucking him under his arm, not embarrassing him any further as Spencer had sort of anticipated, warmth settling over his chest at the thought of their future together.)

“You won’t,” he replies, perhaps a little too curtly.

Derek starts at that, clearly not expecting it. He definitely should’ve tried to play it off as a joke. “What— should I be offended, pretty boy?”

You wouldn’t call me that if you knew who I really am.

“That’s up to you, Derek,” he says calmly, although he still can’t meet his eyes, “but you won’t meet the ‘Future Mrs Reid, so I think it would probably be best if you left it alone.”

“Damn,” Derek mutters under his breath, clearly pissed off and probably more hurt than Spencer ever intended. “Suit yourself.”

And with that, he gets up and leaves his desk. Spencer’s only solace is the text message he sees on his phone when he picks it back up: I love you so much. You know that, right?

The light-hearted ridicule comes to an abrupt halt after the incident with Derek, and it’s clear that he had been the biggest contributor to the teasing. He’s thankful that the jokes have stopped, but he wishes desperately that it didn’t come with the growing distance between him and his team. Loneliness takes the place of his previous irritated anxiety, and he isn’t sure what’s worse.

It all comes to a head at the end of a case in Michigan. They’re stuck in the lounge of the small inn they’d stayed in the last few days, a snowstorm having blocked them in and grounded the jet, although Gideon had long since retreated to his room. The fire’s going and they’re the only guests around, so it’s cosy enough, but Spencer can’t help but feel sick at the idea of another night away from home.

It’s only been two weeks since he’d snapped at Derek, but the chasm between him and the team is only widening with each passing day. He knows it’s not a case of ‘pick a side’, but the team’s morale relies on light-hearted banter and teasing, and him not being a part of that anymore has only brewed awkwardness. Everyone’s trying to give him space when space is the last thing he wants.

Oscar’s keeping him company over the phone at least, but it’s not quite enough to quell the loneliness swimming around his stomach, and the 'discrete' sideways looks he gets from the team only make him feel worse.

“At least it’s nice and toasty in here,” JJ sighs as she takes a sip of the hot chocolate the kindly inn owner had made for them all.

Elle hums in agreement. “There are worse places to be grounded.”

“I dunno, man, I just wanna get home,” Derek says, not taking his eyes off the fire. Spencer can’t help but agree.

“Oh, come on,” Hotch muses, considerably more jovial now the case is over, “we’re here, and that’s not going to change any time soon. We should make the most of it.”

“It’s at least nice to be somewhere sort-of Christmassy now it’s December,” Elle points out. “We could be stuck in a dingy police station like we probably will be next week.”

“Ooh, I noticed that Jemimah and Kiran started planning the Christmas party last week,” JJ says, smiling at them. “I offered my help, but they seem to have it covered.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow“That’s probably a good thing. You don’t need more work on your plate.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” she murmurs, smiling as she brings her mug to her lips again.

Spencer doesn’t miss that Derek is still stewing on the opposite side of the room.

“Are you looking forward to the Christmas party, Spencer? Will you come?” Hotch asks, clearly trying to rope him into the conversation, which he appreciates. He’s been making a lot of effort with him the past few weeks, and it’s just about the only thing that’s getting him through each day.

Before he can reply, though, Derek erupts from the other side of the room; an already pissed-off man being pushed over the edge. “He won’t even let us meet his fucking girlfriend, Hotch, he’s not gonna want to come to the Christmas party!” he yells, throwing his hands in the air as he glares at Spencer with a stormy expression raging across his face.

Suddenly, Spencer can’t stay silent anymore, and his retort shocks himself just as much as it does everyone else. “I don’t have a girlfriend!”

It might be the loudest he’s ever shouted in his whole life. He’s always been quiet and restrained, the type to state his feelings as calmly as possible no matter how he’s feeling on the inside. Even in the biggest fight he’s had with Oscar, his voice was barely loud enough to qualify as a shout.

There’s a brief stunned silence, but Derek quickly slices his way through it, voice raising to meet Spencer’s fiery emotion, fierce and loud. “Oh, don’t even go there, Reid, you’re really gonna try and argue that? You’re gonna lie about her as well as not let us meet her? What a boyfriend you are.”

“I don’t! I don’t have a girlfriend!” he repeats, voice catching this time as tears rise unbidden to the backs of his eyes and all the emotions of the journey he’s taken with his sexuality over the years flood him in a wave of intensity he’s not prepared for.

“You’re fucking lying—!”

“I have a boyfriend!” he yells. “Alright? I have a boyfriend. I’m gay.”

The anger and emotion quickly dissipates, and he’s left standing alone in front of the team he’s put so much effort into hiding this from, watching shock spell out across everyone’s expressions. He’s never felt smaller than he does in that moment, and he quickly grabs his phone before running upstairs to his room, locking the door behind him.

“Oh God, Oscar, I fucked up so bad,” he cries over the phone as soon as his boyfriend picks up.

“Hey, hey, breathe, baby,” Oscar says gently, but Spencer can hear the anxious concern in his voice, “it’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’m here. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I just— Oh God, I just told the team.” A new wave of horror rolls over him as he realises what he’s done. Times might be changing, but it’s still only 2006, and he doesn’t know each and every nuance of his team members’ political positions and, fuck, he hates that his existence is a fucking political position.

Oscar’s been so understanding of his reluctance to not tell the team, even though Spencer’s met pretty much everyone in his life. He isn’t sure what he’s done to earn such a gracious and understanding boyfriend, but he’s not about to question it.

“Baby, I know it’s scary, and I know you’re really worked up right now,” he counsels, voice soft and reassuring, using the nickname he knows Spencer loves the most to make him feel as safe as he can from 700 miles away, “but it’s probably not as bad as you think. From what you’ve told me about the team, they love you so much, and even in the case that in the past they've had some issue with gay people, I can't imagine they’d ever actually think of you any differently when it comes down to it, Spencer.”

He’s crying too hard to reply, and Oscar understands immediately, gently transitioning into a story about his day that slowly starts to calm him down, and by the time he’s wrapping it up, his tears are starting to subside.

“Thank you, Ozzy,” he whispers into the phone, lifting himself up off the floor and making his way to sit on the bed instead.

“You know I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he murmurs warmly. “Do you want me to stay on the phone for a bit?”

“Yes please,” he whispers again, holding it as close to himself as possible, drawing all the comfort he can from his boyfriend’s voice.

He lies there listening to Oscar’s voice and trying not to think about the disaster downstairs for a good ten minutes before there’s a tap at the door.

“Oz, there’s someone here,” he says, voice panicked.

“I think you should probably speak to them, baby,” he urges. “I’ll stay on the phone with you while you do, if you like?”

“Please.” He gets up from the bed gingerly, keeping his phone tightly gripped in his right hand as he slowly unlocks the door with his left, revealing Hotch on the other side.

“Hey, Spencer. Do you mind if I come in?”

He’s riddled with nerves, but Hotch is smiling warmly, and he’s never said a harsh word to Spencer, so he steps aside and lets him into his room.

Hotch quickly notices the phone in his hand, visibly still on a call. “Is that your boyfriend?”

Spencer nods.

“Do you mind if I talk to him?”

His brows knit in confusion and his lips part slightly in surprise, but it’s all he can do to hand the phone over, watching Hotch carefully.

“Hi, Spencer tells me this is his boyfriend?” Hotch inquires politely into the phone, his tone still warm. “I’m Hotch, Spencer’s boss.”

He can vaguely hear Oscar speaking on the other end of the line, and he worries slightly that Oscar will somehow give away the familial feelings he holds for Hotch, but the conversation doesn’t last long enough for the anxiety to really take over.

“Everything’s fine here, I just want to have a conversation with Spencer, so is it alright if we hang up and I talk to him alone for a minute? He can call you straight back afterwards.” After a brief pause in which Oscar says something, Hotch looks back up at him. “Are you okay with that, Spencer?”

He nods hesitantly, and Hotch says a quick goodbye to Oscar before surging forwards and wrapping Spencer in a hug. It catches him off guard, but he doesn’t waste any time in burying his face into Hotch’s neck and soaking in the comfort and warmth that always radiates from his father figure.

“Come on,” Hotch says softly as they pull away a good minute or so later, “let’s sit down, shall we?”

“You’re not mad?” Spencer can’t help but ask, the question burning his tongue as anxiety — however quietened from Hotch’s hug — still swims around in his stomach.

“There are many things that could make me mad, Spencer,” he says earnestly, “but this is not one of them. I would never be angry at you for being who you are, okay? I might… I might be overstepping here, and if I am, then tell me and I’ll back off, but I’ve always seen you as a mentee, and over the years that’s developed— well, I see you more as a son these days. And part of that is wanting to protect and support you no matter what you do or say or who you are.”

Spencer wastes no time in diving back in for a hug, clinging onto Hotch for dear life as he hugs back, rubbing his back gently.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us sooner, Spencer,” he says in a voice soft with affection and regret. “But I’m so glad you’ve told us now.”

He only presses closer at that, tears springing back to his eyes. “I didn’t want to lose you.” He knows what he’s implying, and even in a roundabout way, he’s glad he’s telling Hotch.

“Oh, Spence,” he sighs sadly, “you couldn’t do a single thing to lose me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“Really?” he asks, hating how insecure he sounds.

“Really,” Hotch promises, pulling away as Spencer does. “Now, you have a whole team of agents downstairs who are feeling very sorry for themselves and really want to see you.”

Nausea rolls in his stomach and panic springs back up as he looks at Hotch, desperate for some sort of grounding. “Are they angry at me? Do they hate me now?”

“No one hates you, Spencer,” he says firmly. “I promise you that. Everyone just wishes that they’d made you feel more welcome and comfortable. We all hate that you felt you had to lock up something so integral to who you are, and we can’t help but feel we played a part in it.”

“No,” he protests — the last thing he wants is family blaming themselves when it has nothing to do with them, “it’s not your fault, it’s just…”

Hotch nods. “I understand, it’s okay. Now, do you want to go down and see them? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it might help ease your mind to see that they really don’t hate you.”

Spencer pauses, taking a moment to think. “Can I see Derek first?”

“Of course,” Hotch says understandingly, and the comforting smile that crosses his face makes Spencer feel safe and taken care of. “I’ll send him up?”

Spencer nods and Hotch hugs him once more before leaving the room almost reluctantly. He wastes no time in picking up his phone and sending a text to Oscar. You were right. Hotch is fine. He’s just sending Derek up before I go and see the team but he says that no one’s angry and I think I believe him. Thank you, Oscar. I love you.

Not even half a minute goes past before his phone lights up with a text back. I’m so glad, baby. Call me later, okay? I want to make sure you’re okay before I go to bed. I love you more.

Before Spencer can argue that actually, he is the one more in love with the other, a hesitant knock sounds on his door. Nerves suddenly flip his stomach, and he clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times before forcing himself to cross the room, revealing a very worried and regretful-looking Derek.

“Oh, pretty boy,” he says sadly, before crushing Spencer in a warm and tender hug. Immediately, he relaxes into the arms of one of his best friends, and relief courses through his blood at Derek’s reaction. “I am so sorry that I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me that you were gay or had a boyfriend. That’s completely on me. I don’t care who you love, Spencer, I just want you to be happy, okay? And if this guy makes you happy, then that’s fine by me. But if he ever lays a hand on you or—”

“Derek, Derek,” he laughs, “it’s fine I get it. Thank you, though, I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier and for snapping at you in the bullpen that time…”

“I understand, Spence,” he promises. “It’s in the past, okay? And I’m sorry for pushing so hard. I mean, I’d love to meet him but if you don’t feel comfortable or you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. It’s your life, man.”

“No, I… I think I want you guys to meet him. It’s been so hard to keep him away from the people I consider my family, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Maybe after Christmas, we can all have dinner or something.”

Spencer smiles shyly. “Well, Oscar’s a great cook, so I reckon we could work something out.”

Derek grins, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he immediately jumps back into teasing him as they make their way to the door to go downstairs and see the rest of the team. “Ooh, lover boy’s got him a chef, hey? What else does this Oscar have going for him?”

Spencer chatters eagerly about his boyfriend to Derek, barely skipping a beat when he joins everyone downstairs, his friends taking his cues and joining in with the conversation seamlessly. He’s had enough fuss for one night, and the warmth and understanding on everyone’s faces tells him everything he needs to know.

“Do you have any pictures of him?” JJ asks, raising an eyebrow with eager expectancy as they all settle back into their seats by the fire, a warm and unbelievably happy feeling settling in Spencer’s stomach.

He blushes, digging out his phone from his pocket and unlocking it. “More than a few, I think.”

He finds the most recent picture of his boyfriend — a candid shot of him cooking in the kitchen, spatula aloft, and a huge grin on his face — and hands the phone around.

“Oh wow, you like them buff, huh, pretty boy?” Derek teases as soon as he gets his hands on it, and Spencer’s stomach twists in a sudden bout of fear, expecting to see some hesitancy or even disgust on his friend’s face. What if he thinks that Spencer has a crush on him? What if he’s uncomfortable around him now?

But if Derek’s having any of those thoughts, they don’t show on his face. He’s smiling widely and openly, all the pent-up anxiety and frustration borne from hurt gone from his body language, and he looks completely comfortable sat next to Spencer, his arm stretched out behind him on the back of the sofa.

They sit happily around the fire for a couple of hours, settling into a happy, intimate familiarity Spencer hadn’t realised was missing when he was hiding something so integral to his being from his family, and he’s still smiling when they finally part ways to head to bed, the clock ticking closer and closer to 1 am.

He gets ready for bed quickly, brushing his teeth and throwing on the top he’d stolen from Oscar the first time he’d stayed at his place; a welcome change from his worn and wrinkled suit. As soon as his teeth are brushed and the lights are all off except for his bedside lamp, he pulls out his phone, knowing there’s one more thing he has to do before he goes to sleep.

“Spencer?” Penelope’s voice sounds down the line, clearly concerned. “It’s almost 2 am here, are you okay?”

“I’m gay,” he says, getting straight to the point. The main reason he ever kept it from her was because of his fear of it accidentally getting out to the team rather than fear over her reaction. After all, multiple of his drag queen friends are also hers.

“Oh my God,” she says in that small voice she uses when she’s not actually talking to you, before finally actually replying to me. “Spencer, I’m so happy you told me!”

He doesn’t miss her choice of words, or the way she says them and he tilts his head suspiciously. “You already knew, didn’t you?”

She sighs. “Yeah. I’m sorry, a couple of months ago I saw a text from Oscar on your phone when you went to the bathroom during one of our Doctor Who marathons, and it wasn’t hard to figure out the relationship.”

“And… wait, you’re not mad at me for not telling you sooner?”

“Spencer! Of course not. I was waiting for you to be comfortable enough to share it with me. I felt awful that I knew without your consent but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to catch you off guard or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s fine that you waited, baby genius, I’m just so happy you told me now. What finally gave you the courage?”

“Well, it might have slipped out in front of the team this evening,” he admits sheepishly, “and the only reason I never told you was because I was scared that it would slip out somehow — accidentally, of course, I didn’t think you’d tell anyone on purpose — and now everyone knows. It’s been killing me not to tell you, Penelope, it really has because I love you so much and you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life, it’s just…”

“Whoa, slow down, Spence,” she laughs fondly, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, I understand. But I’m glad you finally told everyone and you can be yourself completely with us, now. We all love you no matter what, you know that right?”

“I do now.”

“Good. You should get some sleep, baby boy, it’s late and you’ve had an emotional evening.”

Spencer smiles. “Yeah, I know. You should, too, Pen. I’ll see you when we can finally make it home, okay? Love you.”

“Love you, too, 187,” she says softly, and Spencer can hear the smile in her voice. “Goodnight.”

As soon as he hangs up, he settles down into the bed, turning off the light and pulling the duvet up over his shoulders before dialling one more number.

“Hey, baby,” Oscar says, voice as gentle and caring as it always is, although thicker with tiredness now. “I take it everything went okay?”

“Yeah,” Spencer murmurs, already feeling tired as the safety he always feels at the sound of Oscar’s voice settles into the fibres of his being. “It went so well. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”

“I can’t wait either, sweetheart. Are you in bed now?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Can you talk to me as I fall asleep?”

“Anything for you, Spence,” he says softly, before transitioning seamlessly into a story about the professors on campus, and his gentle comfort and the knowledge of the unconditional love his family has for him finally lulls Spencer into the best sleep he’s had in weeks.

taglist : @criminalmindsvibez @moreidstrobed @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @physics-magic @sbeno22 @temily @enbyspencer @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids (add yourself to my taglist via this form!!)

#criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #cm fanfiction #cm fanfic #cm fic #spencer reid #spencer reid/omc #spencer reid x omc #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #coming out fic #criminal minds gen fic #criminal minds gen fanfiction #criminal minds gen fanfic #spencer reid & aaron hotchner #spencer reid & derek morgan

[dastardlydandelion]

my thoughts on fear street 1666 now that i finished scrubbing all the toilets, got to go home and watch it

holy shit. that movie. wow. 

it wasn’t as fun as the other two. didn’t employ the same campy tropes. didn’t present itself in a flourish of period typical style. while i enjoyed the first two films paying homage to classic horror tropes and making the most of the stylish side of their respective environments, i am v grateful and relieved that 1666 *wasn’t* as fun as the other two and actually presented the horror of puritan fanaticism and witch accusations more srsly. imo it portrayed that grave, twisting dread that the subject matter calls for. i appreciate that bc i think i would’ve been uncomfortable if they attempted to do smth more campy with the time period given what we already knew abt the circumstances of sarah’s death even before the film. 

more of me blathering on and on abt fear street 1666 under the cut: 

the twist actually worked on me this time. they actually got me on this one, u guys. i rly watched this franchise believing sarah fier was possessing ppl and wreaking her vengeance on the town, but this whole time it was the fuckin’ goodes. nick, i never liked u, i think ur more interesting than i did before before when u were a generic as generic gets asshole, so now ur somewhat more interesting but even bigger of an asshole than i gave u credit for. ur literally the worst asshole of assholes, ur a walking infected hemorrhoidal rectum of a human being. 

don’t get me wrong, i always thought sarah was going to be portrayed sympathetically. i never doubted that. my theory was that sarah was going to be a sympathetic villain. i thought 1666 would’ve revealed why she cursed shadyside. i figured she would’ve cursed her townsfolk for turning their backs on her, maybe, or hurting/killing hannah, or using her for her witchcraft and then getting angry if it backfired on them, or smth like that. i thought we were going to watch a story abt sarah’s descent into darkness and while she’d defo be a tragic villain, she rly would be the person behind the possessions...but it wasn’t even her. she and hannah were just vulnerable to the town’s suspicion and persecution bc they were queer women who didn’t behave the way society wanted them to behave. and they were blamed for evil actually wrought by heterosexual men in power, and when sarah realized there was no way out of it, she took the blame upon herself so hannah was spared and she cursed only the goode family?? 

THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER. FUCK. THAT IS SUCH A BETTER STORY. kudos to this trilogy for being more intelligent than it ever had to be, when it could’ve just skated on the notoriety of the fear street series, the style, and billing notable cast members. 

so yeh, i defo 100% appreciated the goode men from wealthy sunnyvale being revealed as the true villains. i actually got my wish of nick getting killed in the face. i love that sarah possessed deena to do it herself!!! and deena!! oh man, i love deena so much. she was wearing a homebrew vest to protect herself made of fear street novels + duct tape, u gotta love it. ig she wanted to prepare herself since sam stabbed her at the end of 1994. on that note, she’s v active in this film for someone who has a fresh abdominal stab wound and i mean, the situation defo calls for it, but i hope she remembered to properly dress it and take a couple ibuprofen or smth. shit, i’m gettin distracted again. okay!! 

i loved errything that went down in the mall. i adore that josh and adult ziggy got more time to shine. i was so! so! happy at martin’s inclusion on the action. he deserved that after the way nick treated him in 1994. our occupations are also p similar so i defo relate to martin on that front. i loved it all the neon and blacklight stuff at the mall. that part was v stylish, that was p cool. spraying the killers with the blood so they kill each other!! yes! that was perfect!! it was incredibly practical and enjoyable for me, as a gore fan, to watch. 

i liked the sticky note on the wall at the end from deena and josh’s dad, that he had a job interview. i wonder if this is bc the curse of shadyside has been lifted with the end of the goodes?? 

yk, i feel like now knowing what we know abt the actual evil, i gotta wonder how much re-watch value there is to be gleaned from this trilogy. for example, in 1978, nick liked ziggy and didn’t want her to die. he performed cpr on her even tho she’d been stabbed a fuck ton of times and tbvh, the chances of success of resuscitation depending on what exactly it is was ziggy succumbed to seem v slim. at first i attributed this to a suspension of disbelief bc this is fiction (and to be fair crazy do happen sometimes irl, ykw, sometimes reality can surprise u) BUT now i’m sittin here like...was the cpr successful bc nick’s deal with the devil gave him the power to do that?? did his bargaining of others’ souls and offering them up for possession grant him the ability to have some control in that situation somehow? at least more than a normal human being should?? idk. it’s a thought. 

what else, what else? 

i feel like outta the three, 1666 had the most tension overall. i was p gosh darn emo abt the relationships. deena and sam’s relationship i’ve cared abt since the beginning but the contrast of them getting the opportunity to have it and be together, in parallel to the way sarah and hannah’s ended just moves u. or, it moved me at least. sarah tells hannah they’ll go somewhere and kiss in broad daylight before kissing her in almost total darkness, and then the film ends on deena and sam kissing in the sun. i was also glad deena and josh’s sibling relationship got touched on a lil bit more. thought it was cute that she tried to cook for him and produced smth that just dead ass looks inedible. i also thought it was sweet that ziggy reunited with nurse lane. she can do that now, she can leave her house without fearing the return of the curse, and she deserves it. <3

i’m impressed with the trilogy overall. each movie easily could’ve been an r-rated goosebumps episode and imo all were certainly better than that. i feel like each film was better than the previous, but personally enjoyed each one. some things were p predictable but i think much of that is intentional. 1994 and 1978 were clearly paying homage to classic slashers and familiar horror tropes. i personally didn’t find the predictability off-putting bc i recognized what they were trying to do, and felt the quality in the other elements made up for it. i was genuinely shocked by the actual villain reveal, i personally didn’t predict that. again, i always thought sarah was going to be sympathetic and i never liked nick at all, but i didn’t suspect sarah was just. dead ass *not* going to be a villain or that he was going to be the big bad. 

really dug the style of these films. loved that we got an interracial lesbian couple who made it thru the trilogy without either the predatory lesbian trope or the byg trope happening. i liked most of the characters we got to know and the only character who *rly* grated on my nerves was the villain who got stabbed in the eye. 

gosh, i want more fear street movies!! if i had to pick one outta any of the slashers featured, i’d want to see ruby lane’s story. i would like to see this production team milking the most outta the environment in the 50s, the style of the 50s, music, and whatnot. i enjoyed nurse lane even tho she was super bad at murder, so it’d be cool to see her again and who she was before her daughter got possessed and killed 7 ppl. also, ruby sings when she kills?? 

that’s weird and creepy and neat. totally down for it. 

#fear street spoilers #fear street 1666 #fear street #sarah fier #deena johnson #nick goode #sam fraser #josh johnson #ziggy berman #ruby lane #nurse lane #martin p franklin #gosh u guys #i rly dug this movie #i rly dug the trilogy as a whole #i was hype to begin with but it exceeded by expectations #i want more

[fangirlswilltakeovertheworld]

She-Ra High School Theatre Kid AU Headcanons

I made this because I am a theatre kid, and me and my sister were talking about Double Trouble being a theatre kid, so this happened. We basically came up with this entire au while we walked our dog.

Also I know none of this stuff would ever happen in real life, but it’s fanfiction, let me have this

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Angella as the director

Shadow Weaver as the assistant director

Horde Prime is the principal who is very not supportive of the arts

Hordak is the head of tech

Castaspella runs costumes

Huntara is the choreographer

Actors:

Catra - Has been in love with theatre since she was a kid, wants to be an actress when she grows up. She’s only ever cast as the villain/antagonist because she’s so good at playing those roles, but she’s not complaining. Shadow Weaver hates her and constantly talks down to her whenever Angella’s not around. Really good singer.

Double Trouble - Also in love with theatre. Brings the drama. Really good at whatever role they receive. Always competes with Sea Hawk for the lead role regardless of gender.

Sea Hawk - Theatre kid is his entire personality and he lives for it. Competes with Double Trouble for the lead role regardless of gender. Loves roles that get to do fight choreography. Has a habit of setting at least one prop, set, or costume on fire every show. No one knows how, and honestly, neither does he.

Glimmer - Director kid vibes, we’ve all met one. You know what I’m talking about. Usually gets a big speaking role, but not the lead. Jealous of Catra bc Glimmer thinks the villains get better songs. Catra agrees and holds it over her head constantly. Has a habit of being an “actor director” sometimes, but never in a mean or condescending way, and most of the time Angella was going to give the same note. Most of the time.

Bow - Actor/Techie. Auditions for a role, but if he doesn’t get one, he’ll do tech. He doesn’t have a preference, he just likes being a part of the process and being with his friends. One of the only basses in the department.

Mermista - Actor/stage manager. Even when she has a role in the current show, Mermista is still the stage manager bc she’s the only one who can deal with and control everyone’s shit(aka Sea Hawk level shenanigans). Actually a really good actor when she puts effort into her roles, but it has to be for a show she actually likes.

Kyle - Usually ensemble, but sometimes he has small speaking roles. Famous for breaking or losing props.

Techies:

Entrapta - Sound/lights. Works with Hordak, they’re close friends. He’s dreading her graduation bc she’s the only who actually understands how to run the systems. She insists she’ll be back tho.

Scorpia - Build crew. Stronk. Nuff said. Started bc she wanted to support Catra, and kept doing it bc she thought the head costumer was cute.

Adora - Also build crew. Again, stronk. Paints occasionally because that was her first choice, but they lack muscle strength in build. Can only get away with painting if Lonnie is there that day. Joined to watch Catra and Catra only. Has only listed to the songs that Catra sings in her role. Has never listened to a full Broadway album. Glimmer is disappointed.

Lonnie - Build crew. Not that interested but comes to support her friends when she doesn’t have lacrosse practice. Never runs a show, but watches every night.

Rogelio - Paint crew. Adora lost an arm wrestling contest to him, and he got first choice. She’s forever salty for it but too nice to argue.

Perfuma - Head of costumes. Castaspella and her get along great, they practically have the same personality. Crushing on Scorpia.

Frosta - Costumes. Cousins with Mermista. Comes bc she heard about the chaos and drama that goes down. Will run shows if she doesn’t have hockey practice.

Swift Wind - Fly.

Now for the plot:

The show for the year: Wicked

Cast

Glinda - Double Trouble

Elphaba - Catra

Fiyero - Sea Hawk

Boq - Kyle

Nessa - Glimmer

Madame Morrible - Mermista

The Wizard - Bow

But then two tragedies occurred

Tragedy 1: Angella had to step down as director bc Micah was in the hospital or something idk

Tragedy 2: 2 days later, Sea Hawk breaks his leg pretty bad and he won’t be better in time for the show

Le gasp

So Shadow Weaver takes over as director

Some Shadow Weaver background info: She was a famous actress many years ago and thinks this high school production stuff is below her. She still has a lot of connections to the professional world that she uses from time to time. She wants Adora to follow in her footsteps as a famous actor despite Adora being an incredibly bad actor. She hates that Adora does crew and not acting, but couldn’t do anything about it. Until now.

Now that she’s director and they’re down a Fiyero, she basically forces Adora to play Fiyero, despite the other capable actors who could’ve done it and Adora’s own protests. Think something like: “why can’t bow do it? I’ll be the wizard if there really aren’t enough actors!” “Oh no, bow is the only one who can hit the wizards notes bla bla bla”

Adora doesn’t want to do it, but she also doesn’t want the department to not be able to do the show. Plus she would get to hang out with Catra a lot which would be cool

I’m guessing you can already tell where the conflict is coming from, but we had some very clear ideas of stuff that happened, like

Adora was behind bc she wasn’t going to play the role originally, she’s never acted before, and she can’t dance. So she has a lot of one on one practices with Huntara, the choreographer. Before getting the role, the only practices Adora would watch if she didn’t have crew were the dance practices. She went purely to watch Catra, but Catra thinks that she has a crush on Huntara.

Tension and miscommunication, y’know?

Bow and Glimmer are both very supportive but also nervous bc they know that Adora is extremely bad at acting

Sea Hawk has never seen Adora try to act before, so he doesn’t see what the issue is. Once he’s well enough to go to school again, he comes to every rehearsal even tho he can’t be in the show. And then he sees. And then he’s like, oh no.

But he tries to be supportive and pump Adora up.

Adora is feeling a lot of pressure bc of her new role and doesn’t want to screw things up for everyone.

Catra is a little pissed off that she’s been paired up with someone who can’t act for her senior show, so she’s a little snippy at first, and Adora is tense, and it’s a mess

But Shadow Weaver doesn’t care, and ends up blaming every problem they have during an acting scene with Adora and Catra on Catra, even though she’s the best actor in the department. Because ✨favoritism✨

And you know, they do the whole hot-cold, she hates me, she’s cute, I love her but she doesn’t like me, bla bla bla throughout the course of the show

A week before opening night, Shadow Weaver makes things worse by mentioning that she invited her friend who’s a talent scout to watch the show. Shadow Weaver wants the scout to help get Adora into the acting business.

Catra wants to use this opportunity to get her name out there, so she needs her performance to be perfect

Which is hard to do when her love interest couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag

It’s two days before the show and they still haven’t practiced the kiss scene. Every time they brought it up before, like “should we practice the kiss? I mean, only if you want we don’t have to”, they both got the impression that the other didn’t want to kiss them

(Useless lesbians)

So it’s 2 days before the show, and Shadow Weaver is like, you gotta practice the kiss

So they kiss, and Catra is like, whoa she’s a really good kisser, so she’s quiet after the kiss

And of course, Adora takes that silence as “she hated the kiss and she hates me” as you do

So their practices the next two days are even worse than they were before

Finally, it’s opening night. The scout is coming and they’re out of time. Shadow Weaver ends up shoving Catra and Adora into a closet. She does her whole “you don’t want to let me, your friends, or the audience down do you? Whatever’s distracting you needs to go” to Adora, and then she turns to Catra and is like “fix what you’ve done, I know you sabotaged her you useless child. You’re going to be the reason this show goes horribly” and then she leaves

AND CATRA AND ADORA ACTUALLY TALK I KNOW IM SHOCKED TOO

Adora’s like, sorry I’ve been so weird the past two days, I just realized I really like you after we kissed, but I know you don’t feel that way about me, sorry if that makes it weird

And Catra’s like, Adora you idiot I love you

And they kiss

And Bow finds them still kissing in the closet 20 minutes before the show opens and rushes them to Castaspella to get their make up fixed

It ends up being Adora’s best performance because every time they’re about to go on for a scene together, Catra tells her to forget about the audience and just focus on her

The scout ended up liking Catra and Double Trouble a lot to Shadow Weaver’s disappointment

Facts that aren’t important to the main plot, but definitely happened

One time, before Sea Hawk broke his leg, Catra was trying out her harness for the defying gravity and other flying scenes, and Swift Wind, who does fly, accidentally dropped her and she landed on Adora

No Good Deed was the best moment in the show, and the amount of emotion Catra was able to put into her performance during that song was a little frightening but also made a lot of people tear up

The second best scene in the show was surprisingly As Long as you’re Mine, because Adora was actually able to forget about the audience and just focus on her love for Catra

The show last year was Mean Girls. Catra was Regina. Glimmer was Gretchen(you can’t argue that she doesn’t give off, “I don’t think my father, the inventor of toaster stroodle, would be very pleased to hear about this” vibes). Mermista was surprisingly amazing as Karen, and played her deadpan perfectly. No one knows how she did it. Sea Hawk was Cady, Double Trouble was Janice, and Bow was Damien. They reference their experiences during this show during Wicked, but the only thing Adora remembers about that production is how hot Catra was during World Burn.

Ironically (or unironically, idk), Glimmer once said “I don’t think my mother, the director of the show, will be very pleased to hear about this” to an actor who was found sabotaging Catra’s mic for the show before Mean Girls. Catra thought Shadow Weaver put her up to it but there was no proof.

Princess Prom but making it Dancing Through Life

Or is it Dancing Through Life but make it Princess Prom

If someone wants to write this, please do, just send me the link so I can read it! I would write it myself but I’m lazy lol.

#she ra and the princesses of power #she ra netflix #catradora #catra she ra #adora spop #glimmer she ra #entrapta she ra #bow she ra #mermista she ra #sea hawk she ra #shadow weaver she ra #double trouble she ra #modern au she ra #huntara she ra #scorpia she ra #scorfuma #seamista #frosta she ra #she ra au #actor catra #swift wind

[wheeier]

trust me

summary: steve coming out to you as bisexual :)

warnings: fluff !! nervous steve, maybe emotional reader bc that would be me

i got teary-eyes writing this but yeah anyways

bisexual!steve harrington x fem!reader

steve had been thinking about it for three months now. at first he didn't believe it – thinking it's not real and he's just insane, because all he know is boys like girls, and girls like boys. poor boy doesn't even know that the word bisexual actually exists. but after robin came out to him as lesbian almost a year ago, maybe the feeling he has was right this entire time. he isn't crazy as he think he is.

steve decided to talk to robin about the situation, since she knows better about this than anyone else.

"i just don't know why you won't tell her," robin says as she puts phoebe cates' standee in place, scrunching her face at her friend, who was visibly stressed out about the current situation. "(y/n) obviously loves you and will accept you no matter what. hell, she's like, head over heels for you. anyone can tell if they see you two together." she finishes as she walks near the boy.

steve lets out a huff, "i know she loves me, i do too. but i'm still scared." he says quietly, thinking anyone would hear, although they were about to close the store and no one was around except them two.

"that's fine. you know, i was so afraid to tell you about me, too. but you've gained my trust, dingus. and you're stuck with me for life." robin pats his shoulder as a way of her saying that his feeling is totally valid and also a way of her saying thank you.

trust. it's a big word for steve. he had trusted so many people in his life, but most of them betrayed and hurt him. he already lost the person he once truly loved and trust, nancy wheeler. it hurt him so much, like someone took his glass heart and dropped it, stomped on it, destroyed it in a thousand pieces.

he doesn't know if he can handle it if he loses you too.

"i'm just- what if she gets upset? what if she runs away?" steve turned his head to robin with a terrified face. "then it's her loss. you're an amazing person, steve. although you're a dumbass most of the time." steve lightly punched her shoulder, making her laugh.

"in all seriousness, just tell (y/n) what you feel when you're ready. i'm sure she won't do anything that would hurt you. i'm telling you she loves you more than anything you could ever think of."

—

a week after that conversation with robin, he was finally sure about what he is and what he likes.

the phone ringing from the living room caught your attention right after you put the pancakes on the plate. "it's just 7 in the morning, who the hell calls this early?" you muttered to yourself.

he immediately felt bad when he heard your frustrated 'hello' on the other line. "babe, hey. good morning, i'm sorry if i interrupted you or anything." you smiled upon hearing his voice. "hey, it's fine, don't worry about it. what made you call this early?" you asked as you sat on the floor. "i..i need to tell you something, but not here on the phone. i wanna tell it in person." you could tell that his voice was mixed with seriousness and anxiousness, which made you assume the worst.

"oh, okay. um.. are you gonna come here? i just made pancakes, i know you love those." you suggested, glancing back at the table as the smell of the pancake filled the house.

steve agreed and told you he would be there in a few minutes so you prepared breakfast for him and prepared some orange juice.

as expected, steve came ringing the doorbell and you fixed your hair a bit before opening the door. you half-expected him to look smiley and happy, but it was different. you stepped aside to let him in and shut the door.

"what is it that you wanted to tell me?" you said calmly, almost comforting that made steve melt. you brushed a strand of his hair away from his face and rest your hand on his cheek. "can we..sit?" he mutters quietly and you nodded.

you intertwined your fingers with his and dragged him to the kitchen where his favorite breakfast lays. he sat beside you, not saying any words. his heart was beating so fast and he's sure that you can practically hear it.

"everything okay?" you asked after putting the pancakes on your plate. you were starting to get nervous, thinking it's really that serious. "how..where do i even begin with this.. uh.." steve started mumbling to himself, you placed your hand on his forearm, letting him know that he can trust you.

steve let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. "you know you can tell me anything, right? whatever that is, you can trust me." he stared into your eyes, searching for any hint of lie – but there weren't any.

he slightly nodded before looking around but you. "i like you, i mean, of course i do, you're my girlfriend. jesus, uh.. you know i love you, right?"

"yeah," your voice was quiet, unable to speak clearly because of the loud beating of your heart, but at least he admitted that he actually loves you. "yeah. of course."

steve took a deep breath, having the courage to look at your eyes. "before i say it, if you get mad i totally get it, but i hope you won't be. i just, don't wanna lose y-"

"steve?"

"-yeah?"

"just get to the point, please. i promise i won't be mad." you gave him a reassuring smile, and he returened you one.

"promise?"

"promise."

there was a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. "..i like girls. and.." he started, and you made a confused face. "and..i'm pretty sure i'm attracted to..guys, too." his voice trails off but you were able to catch it. he started to panic when you didn't say anything.

he looks down on his palm, picking his nails like he used to when he's anxious. "robin said it's called bisexual, at first i didn't know what it means but now i'm sure that i am that. and i've been thinking about that in the last three months but i didn't know how to tell you, because.. i was scared that you will leave me," his voice almost broke and when he had the courage, he looked back into your eyes. "but just know that i love you so much and if you don't love me anym–" he was interrupted with your hug, slowly letting out a sob which made him worry.

"(y/n)?" he was relieved when you looked up with a smile, sniffing as you let go of him. "sorry, this should be your moment, i just got carried away." you slightly laughed as you wiped your tears. he didn't say anything, he just looked at you, waiting for an answer.

"steve harrington, what made you think that i would ever leave you?" you held his hands with yours, drawing circles using your thumb to help him relax.

"you're not-"

"mad? no, of course not." you shook your head in disagreement. "why would i be mad at you? in fact, i am so so proud of you," you rest your hands on either side of his cheeks, his eyes still wide. "i know it's hard for you to do this but you did it, you're brave, and.. that's one of the things why i love you too." the tears went back to your eyes, "and i am glad that you did this, it means so much to me because i know that you trust me."

you sniffed, then let out a shaky breath. "i have no reason to be mad at you, steve. there's literally no reason. nothing will change. i'm still (y/n), your girlfriend and you're still steve, the love of my life and the one i would marry someday." steve smiled at your words and was about to make a joke about it, but stopped himself because he doesn't wanna ruin the moment.

"you became true to yourself and accepted it. there's nothing wrong with that." at this point you didn't care about the tears in your eyes, because he was crying too.

when he didn't say anything you just wiped his warm tears and pulled him for a hug, which he returned this time. "i love you so much, steve. more than anything you could ever think of."

his mind recalls the time when he talked to robin — when she said the same exact thing, and she was right.

"me too. i love you."

you were the first one to pull away from the hug that seemed like hours. "hey, stop crying now because i'll cry even more. i'm an emotional mess, remember?" you both laughed at your comment as he wiped your tear-stained cheek. you were glad to hear his laugh again, that laugh that you always admired. "okay." he chuckles as he nods, wiping his own tears too.

he turned to the table, ready to eat the now-cold pancakes you made. you remembered he even said that it doesn't taste the same if it wasn't you who cooked it.

once you both finished eating breakfast and cleaned the table, you headed back to the living room, prepared the movie ferris bueller's day off and he sits beside you, lower than usual so that your chin reaches the top of his head. you notice him look up at you, so you tilted your head down to see. "what?" you grin.

steve quirked an eyebrow, remembering your words from earlier. "so you're gonna marry me someday, huh?" he teased, but he knows you were serious. "no, actually. that was just for show." you rolled your eyes jokingly while a smile was visibly showing on your lips. "of course, dummy. there's no other person in the world that i would want to marry but you." when he smiled, you planted a kiss on his forehead before continuing to watch the movie.

you wrap your arm around his shoulder as you brush his hair with your other hand and not even an hour yet, he was already sound asleep in your arms.

#steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington fluff #fluff #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #bisexual steve harrington #you are all loved #stranger things fluff

[honeymilktea-writings]

Royal Comfort (Mary x Fem! Reader)

Greetings lesbians and bi women!! I am here to feed y’all :) As a lesbian myself, I want more Mary content, so I am making it myself!!!! I may not be as into IDV as I was in December, but my love for my queen has only gotten stronger 🙌🙏 this is a major comfort fic bc I’ve been quite down recently, so this is VERY self indulgent

masterlist

Edit: Like I said above, this is a vent/comfort fic for me so if it seems ranty, I’m sorry. This is just me venting out some stuff so I’m not quite looking at quality lmao. I may rewrite this and make it better at some point. This was also very rushed because I just wanted to get something out bc I haven’t posted since December lmao

requested: No

Plot: You are having a bad week and quickly lose confidence after realizing the other survivors don’t trust you anymore, so you confide in your dear girlfriend Mary, who helps you through your issues with love and care.

Royal Comfort (Mary x Fem!Reader Oneshot)

It was only a Thursday, and you had lost yet another match against a hunter, that was the 10th time that week, and just like every time you had been the first one gone. No one had come to help you after the 5th time of it happening, which stung. A lot. So after a lot of moping around in your room, you decided to go see your loving girlfriend, Mary. She always finds amazing ways to cheer you up. Besides, you haven’t seen her very much this week due to your sadness.

While making your way to the hunters side of the manor you overhear laughter coming from the dining hall, not once had anyone invited you or come to check up on you, so you felt even worse than before. You quickly passed through the room and started running to get to the hunters side.

Of course you knew the others didn’t hate you or dislike you, but you also knew they were kind of suspicious of you after hearing about your relationship with Mary. They got upset easily at you when Mary was a hunter, she hardly went friendly, but when you’re around she gets everyone as fast as she can and goes easier on you.

You understand why they wouldn’t like that, you sure as hell wouldn’t if you were in their shoes, but you also feel like they could at least attempt to talk to you about it. After those thoughts you had realized you were already at Mary’s door, and you’re crying. You sniffle and wipe your tears before knocking. Recognizing your distressed knock, the bloody queen quickly answers.

“What’s wrong dearest?” The blonde frantically asks as she pulls you into her arms and shuts the door.

You shove your face into the taller woman's neck and start crying again. “The others don’t trust me anymore. What if they start hating me too?” Mary sighs and rubs your back as she walks you over to her couch and sets you next to her, still hugging you tight.

“Darling, there is nothing to worry about. You made my cold heart fall for you, so I doubt it’s possible for someone to hate you.”

“But-” You hiccup. “But they don’t talk to me anymore. I also have been the first one caught in every match I’ve had this week, I never have time to do anything to help.”

Mary pulls you closer and starts stroking your hair. “Listen, darling, I doubt they hate you. And they probably appreciate the effort you put in. But it’s been hard for everyone these last few matches, so they probably are a little stressed and want to hurry.”

You sigh and snuggle closer. “You’re right...” You pause and look up at her. “I love you Mary.”

She smiles down at you and kisses your nose. “I love you too Y/n.” The two of you stay close for the rest of the evening, not having any matches for the night. You slowly fall asleep in her arms, feeling comforted and calm for the first time in days.

#IdV #idv x reader #identity v #identity v imagines #idv bloody queen #bloody queen #idv mary #imagine #imagines #oneshot #idv imagines #x reader #identity v x reader #identity v oneshots #identity v bloody queen

[posi-pan]

hi! i’ve recently discovered ur blog and i’m. Very grateful for it. just reading some of ur posts has made me feel so much more comfortable in my identity and so reassured to see that there are people who will accept and support it.

i’ve come to terms w the fact that i like the label mspec (omni) lesbian for myself. it’s been difficult to process and accept bc of the sheer amount of hatred towards mspec mono ppl i’ve seen & bc gender and attraction (or lack thereof) is just. Very complicated and hard to figure out.

i’m still trying to understand myself and it’s a frustrating journey, but hopefully things will become clearer soon.

i guess i can understand people’s initial confusion towards labels that seem contradictory, but it starts getting weird when they start spewing negativity towards them and ppl who identify with them. like. idk? i’ve definitely been a little confused abt some labels but i read more abt them, listened to ppl who explained them, and i was like “oh! okay! that makes sense and that’s super cool.”

what i didn’t do was start publicly complaining on a day-to-day basis on my twitter account about how my identity is being invalidated bc of someone else’s and harass flag creators and ppl who use or support those labels????

at this point i don’t think most of these ppl are actively trying or wanting to learn. they’re just. not listening and can’t understand that ppl’s minds don’t work like their own. i also think a lot of them just see ppl saying “mspec lesbians bad” and then they rush to put “mspec lesbians dni” on their carrd without reading up on it 😭

so yeah thank u so much for being so openly supportive and inclusive!! and to all ppl out there who use labels that others find weird: u are super cool and u have a better inner understanding of ur own identity than anybody else ever could. take care <3

hi! i'm glad you like the blog and that it's been helpful! i'm happy that you've figured out and accepted your identity, but i'm sorry people being awful and queerphobic have made it a more difficult thing than it had to be. i hope your journey to better understanding yourself is smooth sailing from here (or at least without any external factors making it harder).

i definitely agree that those people are actively against learning and being inclusive and supportive. there's so much information out there, and a lot of it has been sent directly to them and they just don't care. they're actively choosing ignorance and hate. and people like that aren't worth the time and energy, ya know?

"u have a better inner understanding of ur own identity than anybody else ever could" 👏👏👏👏👏

#asks #anonymous #mspec lesbian #omni lesbian #mspec lesbian antagonism #long post

[chasingdasunshine]

took this like a week ago after literally falling to my knees bawling my eyes out but i do think this photo really captures the past 1.5 yrs…. mask, single tear, double chin, peace sign, red watery eyes, dirty car, crooked hat…. i’m so excited to be 24 and rid of the negative energy that lasted my whole 23rd year. literally the worst one by far. death(s) in the family, first heart break, unemployment, living at home, losing friends, the literal pandemic.. obvi some positive things happened too (new job, new place, winston, closer to fam) but negative just outweighed it by a lot haha. and really just pushed me so deep into a depression that i didn’t even realize it. i’m literally about to post this same caption on my instagram i swear so i’m trying to post it here so i don’t. who knows what’ll happen. but anyway looking forward to 24 being positive and continuing to develop good habits. kinda sad bc 23 is my favorite number. literally not anymore it reminds me of so much pain and hurt. i am so over being depressed and i want to get back to where i was 3ish years ago. i felt good and happy and ok with being alone. sometimes i feel like i should be taking medication i get so emo. but i am giving myself time. but the goal is only happy tears from now on and giving my energy to people who deserve it. mostly myself because i need that. if anyone i know ever reads this u better keep scrolling and ignore it hahaha. but ya good things coming just need to change my mindset and get over myself basically. stop caring what other people think and just grind. i feel like i haven’t been in this good of an opportunity for growth before and i need to take it. big thing of the year is that i’ve never been so comfortable with my sexuality (lesbian) before and im so proud of myself. telling every new person i meet about it. it’s a journey still obvi but im so open and accepted and loved anyway. from the people that matter that is. strangers/coworkers is fun too and cool to see. im excited to continue to develop relationships with co workers. some of them are the bomb. others not so much lol but the good ones are down ass homies. im excited to make money, travel (solo??), meet new people, date, not date, get tattoos, be a dog mom, be a good friend/daughter/stranger/aunt, learn new recipes, gain weight, lose weight, go to church, find new songs and whatever just experience LIFE. i truly have been missing out since i got dumped and honestly if i am completely honest with myself before that too and just have done a disservice to myself and everyone around me. i learned a lot from that whole experience and i’m glad to have had that but jesus did it have to hurt that bad for that long!!! i’m thankful for the people who stuck around during my valleys and hope they will stick around for the hills too. if u didn’t stick around then no hard feelings and wish u all the best. but honestly i was not a good friend and i understand. i’m working on myself in so many different ways and will be a whole new person coming up soon. hopefully. haha. anyway that’s my last electric journal entry for let’s sayyyyyy at least a month if all goes well lol but the goal is until 2022. word/theme of the year for my bday/the new year is growth/bloom/spontaneity/positive/good vibes/sunshine chasin. wish me luck! & if none of this happens then mind ur business and i probably got depressed and unmotivated again. check in coming soon 👹 (new fav emoji) byeeer

[revarova]

wait, tell tell, what are the reasons for that dni??

Aight so what I remember seeing on Twitter, I’m guessing the reasons for it are

Wilbur: the old sbi callout thread from March, actively hates twitter (I’ve seen ppl say that not using Twitter prevents them from ‘being educated’), after MCC 14 he told people to stop hating on scott and people genuinely thought Scott forced him to with a threat that he wouldn’t be allowed back in

techno: the sbi callout thread, general accusation of being a lesbiphobe (“was hitler a lesbian?” Tweet, in reference to some history thing) and racist (“murder is bad” tweet with a link to a donation thing last summer during the peak of blm, and I think he made a joke making fun of people who blame Chinese people for covid but it got taken as sincere)

philza: sbi callout thread, said the r-slur like 12 years ago, described Wilbur’s ability to remember flags as ”not normal“ (in a positive way) and a “superpower” and people took that as him making fun of hyperfixations and special interests when we don’t even know if Wilbur has adhd or autism, someone asked him to say “welcome to the boys” and phil said he wasn’t the ambassador to men, both were taken out of context by people who aren’t regulars to phil’s streams. Probably discourse relating to the pronouns thing bc people were making like “phil’s pronouns are pee/paw” jokes

Tommy: just. The entire ‘tommy neg’ situation. he’s been accused of being a transphobe for liking ksi, Twitter hates “Twitter will cancel me for this” jokes bc they think it’s making fun of minorities affected and tommy makes those jokes sometimes. Had the audacity to want to stop using twitter bc he literally needed to go to therapy over it

tubbo: not sure about this but it’s probably got something to do with him hating twitter. I don’t watch tubbo’s streams a lot and I haven’t seen anything personally I can’t name anything else

schlatt: ngl not gonna talk about this one I feel like everyone knows schlatt but as a brief explanation he’s made some racist jokes

a6d: oh he’s a literal transphobe lol. I have a friend that used to be in triotwt apparently he’d say transphobic shit than pass it off as google translate messing it up (he was French, I think?)

crumb: generally accused of faking her voice for attention. People think her way of typing is ableist but you can literally mute her and there are accounts that translate it. iirc back when she was 13 she defended cscoop during some accusation but it was bc he came to her and gave her a biased perspective first and she apologised after. Liked tweets that criticized Dream’s merch situation so she was accused of using him for profit during her ‘cream’ bit (she had been copying other people before that)

fundy: made a rape joke during the ksi jackbox. After the stream his friends all spoke to him about it and he apologised like a day or two after. Apparently gave c!Fundy a deadname and that’s transphobic?

Punz: defended someone (andivgm, I think?) when she was being accused of shit (I think she called Punz a bottom???? Idr), but didn’t defend dream during the kaceytron stuff. Was labelled as a traitor and not actually being Dream’s friend. Maybe something else, but that’s what I’ve heard of

Niki: said something on a drunkcast (?) ages ago that was interpreted as her defending schlatt, made a “Twitter wont like that” joke and told them to stop during either another show or a loh

Kacey: ngl I know nothing about the kacey shit, apparently she’s friends with someone whos racist and ‘forced dream to come out as straight’ ????? I’m sure there’s detailed recaps of it on the internet

Minx: didn’t immediately drop kacey after her situation, apparently said something involving Northern Ireland that ppl didn’t like?

Velvet: horny on main maybe? No clue

Eret: here’s a thread of it, tl;dr ppl expect them to know everything about lgbtq then get mad when they don’t. Also while there isn’t an apology linked Eret isnt as aphobe. Source: me. I am aroace what they said can be true

BBH: told people to leave tommy alone after the tommy neg stuff, a friend of bbh’s asked bbh to call him ‘fatty’ to make him feel better about the word and people took it out of context

Karl: was going to be part of a charity stream, was told the charity was actually bad (they were trying to find a ‘cure’ for autism and were basically promoting eugenics) he backed out but Mr. Beast later donated loads of money to the charity bc karl apparently just… didn’t tell him? Interacted with and commissioned something from omocat who’s apparently problematic but I’m not sure if they’re problematic problematic or twitter problematic

#theres A tinfoil hat theory that ppl purposely try to get Eret bc they’re mad about his betrayal during L’Manberg #beaver screaming #If anyone has any more details fee free to respond my brain can only hold so much tiwtter bullshit