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ifidiedinadream · 2 months

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Aleksi and olli! Babies!

Since this came us as a babies of the band mood, maybe something along the lines of them being off tour and olli sleeping over at aleksi's and maybe some not-bad but important secret one's been keeping comes out because he feels a special bond with the other baby of the band 👀

hello anon i came up with something a bit emotional hope it's okay 😅

also on ao3

The band has a photoshoot in the morning and Olli is staying at Aleksi’s.

(They don’t even talk about it anymore, the others don’t ask, they don’t suggest Olli could sleep at theirs, because he’s always with Aleksi anyway.)

They took Rilla out together, they had dinner, and now Olli isn’t talking much. Olli’s been weird for a few days, even via text before he flew over from Oulu. Aleksi won’t pressure him, but now that it’s late it’s even more evident.

He’s sitting on Aleksi’s couch, Rilla curled up on herself beside him, but not really touching him. Like she knows something’s up and she wants to give him space. In his hand is the bottle of non-alcoholic beer Aleksi offered him earlier, and he’s holding it in contemplation more than sipping on the drink, spinning the bottle and watching how much foam the movement generates inside, sometimes rotating it in his hand to read what it says on the label.

Aleksi is sitting at the table, another bottle by his laptop, and he’s answering some emails, but Olli is in his line of sight.

Somehow it’s like he always is, even when they’re 600 kilometers apart.

***

Olli is still quiet when Aleksi announces he’s calling it a night hours later; he follows him to his bedroom (although Aleksi had prepared the pullout for him in the living room) and Aleksi hears him sigh twice as he’s walking behind him.

Aleksi excuses himself to the bathroom and once he’s out, he finds Olli asleep on the side of the bed Aleksi doesn’t usually occupy. He doesn’t disturb him; it’s not that he isn’t worried, not that he doesn’t feel like their friendship (or whatever it is, at this point, really) isn’t deep enough – he simply knows Olli will speak when he’s ready and insistence will only make him close in himself like a hedgehog. It’s always been like that. Maybe that’s why Aleksi is the one Olli turns to, more often than not.

Aleksi makes sure the duvet sits comfortably on Olli’s body and then gets under it himself. Despite Rilla coming to rest between them, Olli scoots closer to Aleksi, until he’s all but hugging him. Rilla gets the memo and goes to position herself at their feet, not even protesting. The oxytocin rush changes everything in Aleksi’s body for a moment.

“Sorry I’ve been weird all day,” Olli mumbles in Aleksi’s shoulder (it’s a low, low sound, and hadn’t it been for the vibrations against his shoulder, Aleksi probably wouldn’t have caught it), “Wasn’t great company. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Aleksi wraps one of Olli’s curls around his finger. The silence is total (except for Rilla’s snores) yet Aleksi can barely hear his own voice and Olli’s, like the sounds are struggling to exist in the dark.

“Usually we have fun when we hang out. Maybe you were looking forward to it. Sorry.”

“I said it’s fine,” Aleksi reiterates, but there’s no bite in his tone. Another finger gets trapped in one of Olli’s soft curls.

“It’s just that – ” Olli starts and Aleksi tenses, not because he doesn’t want to hear it, but because he knows Olli is about to open up and he wants to be as attentive as he can; despite the tiredness, despite the dark suppressing their voices. “Schedule’s been hectic, I’ve been as tense as a violin’s string and I –”

Aleksi presses Olli’s head closer to his chest. The words will sound muffled and even harder to understand but Olli has to know Aleksi is there.

“- and I’ve been getting panic attacks. It’s – it’s a new thing for me. I’ve never suffered from them before.”

Olli buries himself further into Aleksi’s body, like he’s trying to hide inside him, but Aleksi pulls away, intent on looking him in the eyes – despite the dark, despite the difficulties. Something reflects light in Olli’s eyes and it’s probably because they’re wet.

“Who knows about this?” Aleksi asks. Olli shakes his head.

“Only you.”

Aleksi does what he always does: he flashes Olli a smile, one he probably can’t see because of the dark, and hopes the softness he feels inside somehow reflects in his expression. Olli’s veiled eyes grow bigger, like he’s ready to cry, to finally explode after heaven knows how long that he’s been keeping it inside; Aleksi says what he always says, hoping the oppressive darkness doesn’t drown out the sincerity of his words, of all things.

“We’ll figure it out.”

Olli tenses up and his breathing comes out broken. Aleksi takes him back in his arms, holds him tightly, and suddenly the darkness doesn’t seem to weigh as much. Olli isn’t letting loose of his emotions completely, Aleksi can tell (he’s trying to keep silent, his body is stiff), but he fully trusts him and Aleksi wants to be worthy of it.

“For now, how can I help?”

“I don’t know.” Olli’s voice is feeble and his tears are wetting Aleksi’s collarbone. “I just… I need you to be there. I don’t like sleeping alone. Be with me at night. Nighttime is the worst.”

Aleksi’s heart grows heavy with the fact that they live in two different cities. “I’ll tell Tommi to check in on you when –”

“No,” Olli interrupts, his hands grabbing tightly at Aleksi’s t-shirt, “Tommi isn’t you.”

Aleksi exhales and somehow it helps him relax. “I’ll text you. Call you? We can facetime.”

Olli nods in Aleksi’s chest, and new tears wet the hairs under Aleksi’s neck.

“Only if you don’t mind. Only until this shit ends.”

Aleksi snorts. “As if I could ever mind spending time with you.”

Aleksi bites his lips together. The sentence sounded wrong, out of place, even if it was exactly what he meant – exactly what he’s wanted to shout from the top of his lungs for what felt like an eternity.

“I mean, as if helping you could ever be a bother to me. I care about you, you know?”

“I know. I just don’t wanna feel like I’m a burden to the most important person in my life.”

Aleksi’s heartbeat picks up; now it’s not the time, it’s most definitely out of place, but he can’t help it. He holds Olli tighter in an attempt to calm both his friend’s emotions and his own, and maybe it works with Olli’s, but his heart only gets wilder.

“You’re never a burden to me. I want this. I wanna help you.”

“Thank you.” Olli’s body is pressed so close to Aleksi’s that he can feel his sniffles from the inside, and they break his heart, but at least now he’s no longer alone. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” In more ways than I care to admit. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll figure everything out.”

#my writing #blind channel fanfiction #blind channel rpf #aleksi kaunisvesi x olli matela

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sunflowerdaisybee · 2 years

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HIYAAA AGAINNN

I hope you’re doing AMAZING:DD can I request a

Quackity x male reader:0

SO BASICALLY ITD BE, Reader is keeping Quackity up late at night until like 3am and then reader decides to take Q out to teach him how to skateboard AND Q CONTINUES TO FALL AND FALL ON THUS (tall) MALE READER with many many snacks and kisses and love mhm mhm AND IN THE MORNING reader rewards Quackity with lots of kisses and cuddles because he messed up Quackity’s sleep schedule:))

Take your time and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MWAHHHH<3333

I just wanna say, I love the energy that radiates from this ask, like I can’t really can’t explain how much I smile when just looking at this ask. Anyways I hope this was to your liking and I hope you enjoy :]

Pairing: Quackity X Reader

Pronouns: None used but male intended

[A/n]: Requests are open :]

“You’re gonna be the death of me someday,” Quackity sent you a playful glare as his foot warily stepped onto the board.

“What a way to go. Oh, be careful, you’ll fall if you do that.” You were quick to put your foot over one of the wheels, stopping the skateboard from rolling and allowing Quackity to stand fully on it.

“This was a terrible idea.” Hands shot out to grab onto you as Quackity nearly tumbled over. How did you make this look so easy?

A chuckle left your lips before you moved to help him, grabbing his hands with yours and taking your foot off the wheel. The first step in teaching Quackity to ride was to help him find his balance, something of which he seemed to be lacking. Whether it be from general poor stance or tiredness was up for debate but really who was going to argue with you at this hour.

“Can’t we just go inside, and go to bed? It’s like 3am.”

“Nope!” Slowly, you began to walk, pulling Quackity along with you, forcing him to focus on not falling and set aside his complaints. Finding his balance was easy, the hard part was getting him to be able to push off and step onto the board without help.

“I can’t. (Y/n) you asshole, lemme- fuck!” You almost felt bad for your neighbors, having to listen to your boyfriend fall, and scream, for a little over an hour now.

“You’re fine. C’mon, we can be done for today.” Pulling Quackity to stand, you bent down to pick up the skateboard, passing it to your short boyfriend before pulling him up onto your back.

- “Mmm stop, it tickles.” The words barely made it out of Quackity’s mouth, his brain still muddled with sleep as he slowly bounced between consciousness and sleep. The feather-like kisses you left all over his face were slowly pulling him out of his sleep and back into the land of the living.

“Wake up sleepy, I wanna love on you.” A chuckle, and then more kisses followed your words, trying to lure your boyfriend out of his slumber.

“I also got some snacks and ice packs because I’m certain you’ve got at least two bruises after all that skating this morning.”

“Wasn’t even really skating, more like falling.” Quackity rolled over so that he was laying on you, blinking at you slowly as he let sleep leave him. Your arms found rest around his waist, rubbing up and down his spine slowly as you hummed in response.

“You really that tired?” A murmur of a yes came from Quackity. Unlike you, he wasn’t able to stay up well past midnight, sleep for a few hours, and then get up like nothing happened. He much preferred to get a good amount of sleep and wake up refreshed.

“Aw my poor baby, sleep a little longer then. I’ll wake you up later.” A hand left his back to fiddle with his hair instead, running through it and playing with the soft strands. The movements, combined with the warmth radiating from your body slowly lulled Quackity back into his peaceful slumber, allowing him rest from your shenanigans once more.

Taglist: @frowniing {if you want to be tagged in fics just let me know your preference and I’ll start tagging you :]}

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r-ene · 2 years

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how i've been surviving my second semester

not really big on tips with academics, more of staying and feeling alive on 12-hours class days

ive been mentioning in some of my posts that i have 11 to 12 hours class schedules this semester, and those days (wednesday and thursdays) are probably the most difficult days to squeeze in study time after class... especially wednesday since for thursday there's 4 major subjects to study for. and since the semester is ending, i'd like to share the things i've been doing because surprisingly i haven't felt any signs of burn out since this second semester.

note: i have a pretty lax schedule aside from wednesdays and thursdays this sem so most likely i won't be able to abide by these the following semester once our hybrid classes start + different schedule

1. workout first thing in the morning

started this one with just planks before and it helped me a lot with back pains due to sitting the whole day since after my last class at 7:30 pm, I would still continue to study after eating dinner, feeding Luna and so on. and recently i've been doing a 15-minute work out of 2-3 sets depending how much time i have before class starts and = instant energy boost. i noticed i didn't need to nap as much as i used to, but once i get to nap, i would feel all my tiredness from the day

2. sleep early on other days (M, T, F, St, Sn)

honestly still working on this because i like to do a lot of stuff within a day because i like getting things done as soon as possible and in advance for more leisure time + more time to do extra readings/notes and etc but this one is a necessity to lessen the probability of getting burnt out

3. supplements + caffeine

bee pollen supplement, vitamin c and collagen are the ones i take daily. aside from energy boost, as someone who hates being sick and doesn't like taking meds, i should keep myself healthy. i think caffeine, coffee speaks for itself for a 12 hr class haha

4. wednesday no-sleep

as much as possible i dont like doing this because not only is it a bad practice but since my wednesday schedule is 7:30am to 7:30pm and i have 4 major subjects on thursday, i need to sacrifice sleep to read through and study for those subjects especially during pre-exam week and exam weeks.

5. study buddies~ (+fun break times)

my group of friends from senior year has been a big help with this, we go on discord almost everyday and even though we are all from different majors (respiratory therapy, physical therapy, nursing, medical technology, architecture, marketing) we like hanging out on dc to study together for accountability and additional fun for studying :) we also have break schedules like wordle time at 12 mn where we all drop what we're doing (unless its very important) and go on wordle.

6. n a p s

this speaks for itself + i mentioned lots of times i love naps, sleeping in general since i was a kid. please make sure you take naps whenever you can, even a quick 15- to 20-minute nap could be an instant energy charger + it's also a break for our brain, to enhance memory and performance.

7. time management/prioritize

hmm another thing i'm still really working on, but since my gap year i like making to-do lists the night before and now i would make a list of things i need to do and highlight them in different colors for those i need to accomplish within the week and on another sheet of paper i would write down 3-5 tasks to get done within the day. +

8. not skipping meals

i used to not like eating breakfast but i've been practicing to do so recently because it's a necessity and since i worked out, i need to recharge or else i would fall asleep during morning class and even just a simple oatmeal is a big help with concentration (+ to avoid diabetes since both of our parent's family have a big history with diabetes mellitus, type 2) and i think there's a lot of people the same as me that when i really focus on something there's that tendency to put aside meals and eat once i get done and it's not a healthy thing to do especially since working/studying requires a lot of brain energy + energy in general, which we get from eating meals on time to avoid additional stressors such as stomach pain or headache from skipping/missing meal time. that being said, let's also eat healthily

9. cold shower before class

i swear i can never focus if i don't shower with cold water in the morning, especially with these kinds of schedule. it really wakes me up and theres a lot of benefits to showering with cold water (+ i live in a tropical country, it helps lessen me being irritable with the heat especially this summer time, specifically from 9-12nn, then i would shower again before lunch time gets done because it's also really hot at 1 to 4pm)

10. stretching

12 hours of class sounds bad but continuously sitting down for 12+ hours with pre-class and post-class study sessions is BAD. i can't begin to imagine how painful my neck, back and glutes would be if i don't move around every after 2 hours or whenever i can. im actually requesting to my mom if we could have a bar height table when we move so i could study/attend class with the option to just stand whenever i want to.

11. don't forget to wind down

personally i love going on a bike ride and walk around our village with the intention to just breathe in some air and do some sight-seeing, relax to wind down. sometimes i would do those to work out or do other exercises to sweat out the day's stress. other than those, sleep, read, watch, browse through my coloring books and do some coloring are other ways i like to wind down. another important note to not go to bed with a headache and/or get burnt out easily.

12. last but not the least, HYDRATE

water, water, water. sometimes i infuse my water with cucumber or lemon but usually it's just ice cold water in my 750mL flask and i would drink every now and then, especially when i can't focus/feel sleepy and refill at lunch, mid-afternoon and dinner. i also like drinking cold water as soon as i wake up and it's just really a necessity.

new tiktok :)

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writerscornerbnha · 2 years

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• Cohabitation with BNHA boys (platonicly) •

🌿Izuku Midoriya(Deku)🌿

• Remember your roommates? Yes, the ones who litter, disturb your sleep and bring their friends to get wasted without warning, but he's the exact opposite.

• If you want to make a cleaning schedule, Izuku will support it, he's a well-mannered guy (thanks mom Inko) and he'll be a bit ashamed to dump all the duties on you when you are already learning so much.

• Trouble may arise with cooking, he can make simple dishes like eggs and bacon or sandwiches, but culinary masterpieces will not be official.So welcome to cooking.

• Another disadvantage,Izuku often studies late and sometimes prevents you from sleeping with his babbling and the lamp on.If you don't get enough sleep,the next morning he will apologize for a very long time.

• If you don't like studying alone, ask him to study together, Izuku won't refuse, but as long as you don't get distracted.

• He showers after training and he'll warn you to avoid unpleasant situations when you're standing at the door and your bubble is trying not to burst.

• You might wake up in the morning annoyed by his jogging alarm, but you can keep him company or go back to sleep.

• All in all a very sweet boy to share a room with,there are definitely minuses,but not that terrible.

💥Bakugo Katsuki💥

• I personally headcanon Katsuki as a person who won't touch you if you don't touch him,yes he has anger issues,but he's not a heartless villain who ruins everything.

• Living with him, as weird as it may sound, is not a bad thing. why? first of all Bakugo hates mess, so don't expect things to get messy, dirty dishes or filthy in general. but you also have to clean up constantly if you don't want to become a burnt cheesecake.

• Remember, the kitchen is his territory, he won't let you in because he thinks you're too ugly to cook. If you're as good a cook as he is, challenge him to a cooking battle and impress Katsuki.

• We all know Bakugo goes to bed at 8pm and that means all chores are officially over. There should be no noise.If you wake him up...ahem in that case I wish you luck not going deaf and getting out alive.

• And the nice thing is that Katsuki will take you for jogs in the morning, he wants you to be healthy, although he doesn't show it. And you'll always have a great sparring partner.

• Unpleasant habits, like yelling and cursing at stupid extras and nerds (sometimes at you), and long showers, but that's because of the hard workout and tiredness after the workout.

• He can help you in your studies, but only if you tell him that he is much better at it than you are.

• Sometimes you can watch a horror movie together or get him to play games kindly provided by Kirishima.

• Not a bad roommate if you follow certain rules and don't get rowdy at night.

⚪Todoroki Shoto🔴

• Cohabitation with Shoto will be quite pleasant because it will be very quiet.

• Todoroki doesn't like noise, but if you make noise he will politely ask you to calm down.

• Todoroki is not very good at cooking,and I think if you do not want to eat one cold meal,then you have to cook.

• Maybe the downside is that he's not very talkative and quiet, but if you get to know Shoto, he'll be more talkative.

• Suggest that he practice your quirks, if you have a strong quirk Choteau will not hold back, because he knows you will hold out. But if you have a not so strong quirk, he will be a little softer with you, to avoid serious injury.

• About the showers,he is like Midori,always warns you.Usually goes after training and in the evening to improve sleep.

• PLEASE TELL HIM THAT HE IS NOT LIKE HIS FATHER AND RAY LOVES HIM VERY MUCH!!!

• Maybe when he trusts you more, he will offer to go out or watch a movie at home.

• Sometimes you both bandage each other in hard to reach places (like your back) and offer massages.Or Shoto can freeze yours.

• Being roommates with Todoroki Shoto is definitely a precious experience to be had.

#bnha fanfiction #bnha headcannons #bnha x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #midoriya izuku #midoriya x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #mha x reader

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sorbet-and-gelato · 2 years

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y'know what? i haven't done a full hc post in a long time. here's some la squadra snooze hcs for fun based off that drawing i did

sorbet - incredibly deep and still sleeper, sleeps like a log when he's relaxed. it takes a lot of effort to wake him up if he doesn't wake up on his own. he snores a bit, but it doesn't bother gelato. despite sleeping deeply, he doesn't like sleeping in too long. he sometimes falls asleep on the couch and can nap anywhere. he has nightmares more often than gelato. after being woken up by a nightmare is one of the few times he struggles falling asleep. gelato always comforts him, though.

gelato - a much lighter sleeper than his husband, often wakes up in the middle of the night. he used to have a lot of trouble sleeping when he was younger, kept awake by his fears. sorbet falls asleep before him but gelato feels very relaxed beside him, regardless of whether he's awake or not. like sorbet, he can fall asleep absolutely anywhere and they have both fallen asleep on each other several times.

sorbet and gelato cuddle a lot and often fall asleep in each other's arms. they keep each other warm on cold nights.

risotto - doesn't sleep as much as he should because of late night work, but he pushes himself anyways. when he does sleep, he's an absolutely silent sleeper. he prefers his own bed, but will sometimes sleep overnight at the base if he needs to. he can get too hot in bed, so he sleeps in light clothes or shirtless and with only a few sheets/blankets.

prosciutto - has certain times he goes to sleep depending on the day ahead. he's not a particularly deep sleeper, and can't sleep in crowded/loud environments. he prefers to sleep on his own, somewhere quiet and dark. sometimes he puts something over his eyes to block out the light. pesci shows up in his dreams often.

pesci - sleeps well when he's relaxed, but is sometimes kept up by his anxiety and won't get to sleep for hours. he has bad dreams a lot. he wasn't used to staying up late before he got involved with la squadra, and it took a toll on his energy before he adjusted. he prefers to sleep with soft or thin pillows since they hurt his neck less. he also enjoys the texture of soft things (hence the fluffy jacket) and sometimes sleep with fluffy or generally soft blankets.

illuso - sleeps deeply most times, but has times where he has trouble falling asleep and will try and occupy himself until he tires. he sleeps under thick blankets regardless of the temperature. sometimes he feels better sleeping with a pillow between his legs or holding onto a pillow. he doesn't care about sleep schedules but he gets annoyed when he's woken up. he used to keep a dream journal, but his dreams got... strange after joining passione, especially la squadra, so he decided some things better remain in his own head. that's an unusual mindset for him, if that's telling.

formaggio - formaggio is a pretty restless sleeper. he moves in his sleep a lot, sleep talks, and snores. usually what he says in his sleep is nonsense but the team has overheard him insisting that he's not worthless while he's napping at the base. he crashed at other people's places a lot when he was younger, so he's used to sleeping on couches and on the floor. he doesn't like sleeping under thick blankets.

melone - he has spent many a night pursuing his experiments or finishing his work, being so focused that he doesn't even think to sleep until he's satisfied with the results. he doesn't get a lot of sleep, but seems to function fine. he hides his tiredness around others so they don't question him. when he does sleep, he's not a particularly light or deep sleeper. he doesn't like sleeping around other people and tends to avoid napping at the base when he can. (...he sometimes watches his teammates sleep, though.)

ghiaccio - ghiaccio tries to get enough sleep. he knows that he'll perform better in his missions if he's rested, especially since white album requires a lot of physical activity to be used to its full ability. he gets a lot snappier when he's tired. he's a pretty deep sleeper, but background noise that isn't just weather or normal things gets to him. he wakes up pretty early in the morning if he wasn't up late doing work the night before.

#la squadra di esecuzione #headcanons #jjba #risotto nero #jjba prosciutto #jjba illuso #jjba pesci #jjba sorbet #jjba gelato #jjba ghiaccio #jjba melone #jjba formaggio

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worthless-weight-in-gold · 10 months

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Sleeping Behaviors

Jim — he will stay up for over 24 hours, he’ll spend a whole day napping with only brief periods of consciousness in between, he’ll sleep for 14 hours straight. it severely depends on if he’s hyperfocused on anything; if not, his depression usually gets the better of him and he sleeps nonstop. If his adhd is winning, he’ll rarely sleep/suffer from insomnia when he tries.

Daniels — she’s a biphasic sleeper! her sleep is usually split pretty evenly, like 4 hours of sleep then 2-5 hours of being awake then another 5 hours of sleep. she tends to get 0 to 100 with tiredness, although won’t notice it if she’s hyperfocused. generally her total sleep in a 24 hour period is 9-10 hours

Min-Jee — just… whenever she can get some sleep. she’s chronically sleep deprived and falls asleep at her job too often. she most reliably sleeps when flying between different offices. eventually her body threatens a mutiny unless she takes a few days off to basically spend comatose. she probably gets about 3-5 hours of sleep every day.

Porter — king of having a normal healthy sleep schedule when work doesn’t interfere. he’s usually asleep by 1 and up by 8. however, his body is pretty hard wired to wake up by 9 at the latest so if he stays up late he can’t really catch up; he also really struggles to take naps so if he’s up really late he’ll spend the next few days sleepy.

Sanjit — this man honestly sleeps for 15 hours a day unless he has stuff going on. he will start napping at the drop of a hat, basically anywhere; there is no such thing as a surface too uncomfortable for sanjit to catch a half hour of z’s on. he doesn’t really do one big sleep ever, instead just sleeps in random clusters of up to about 5 hours but usually more like 2-3.

Riah — she sleeps for 7 hours. pretty much regardless of when she falls asleep, she will stay asleep for the next 7 hours. rarely takes naps, pretty much solely does after sparring or sex and even in those cases it’s rare. it’s also hard for her to wake up before the 7 hours are up, she definitely has a multiple of alarms go at max volume from the phone she makes sure to leave near her head when she sleeps for maximum loudness.

Bruce — similar boat to min; barely sleeps, when he does it’s in weird places for not long enough or his body finally decides to shut down and force him to rest. however he has the influencing force of alfred to yell at him to take care of himself and it’s effective often enough he’s at least more like 4-6 hours every night. however, like min, if he has something to really work on he’ll stay up for two days straight easy.

Noa — she’s usually sleeping because her body needs the energy and has left her too tired to be up and about. she regularly sleeps for 12 hours a day, sometimes more if it’s soon after a particularly taxing procedure.

Eun Yoo — also a biphasic sleeper! she usually gets 9 hours total; sometimes she wakes up from nightmares but she’s usually able to get back to sleep after them relatively quickly and they’re not often what splits her sleep. she prioritizes getting enough sleep so if work keeps her up she’ll sleep in the next day or catch a nap to make up for it. all bets are off on her period, though; when she’s menstruating she sleeps really fitfully, wakes up a ton, and can get really bad insomnia.

Thespian — it’s… unconfirmed whenever thespian needs to sleep, strictly speaking, but they do like to. thespian usually sleeps in response to being bored or in response to be relaxed. they don’t every really get tired, but are quite spacey & out of it right after waking up. they always have very vivid dreams. usually they sleep a normal 7-8 hours if they’re sleeping in bed with someone, but their boredom naps don’t often make it to even an hour.

#q #information | { all muses }

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themidnightguardian · 2 years

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Day 22: Poisoned -- Sakura & Sasori

Haruno Sakrua & Sasori | Modern, Serial Killer AU | Content Warnings: poisoning, drugging, abduction, implied serial murder, hints of obsessive behavior & stalking

Whumptober Masterlist

---

It set in slowly, sneakily.

First it was just a touch of tiredness when Sakura knew she should have still been fresh. But something like that was easily ignored, brushed to the side. She had worked sixteen-hour shifts at the hospital before. She had known exhaustion that lingered for days in her bones—after complicated surgeries, after back-to-back shifts, after losing a patient. So she was tired, so what? So what if it didn’t ease up after a few days?

Then there were the bouts of dizziness, the headaches, the elevated temperature that wasn’t quite a fever. Also passed off as a result of overworking herself or maybe the stress, and Tsunade-shishou had forced her to take a week off just to rest.

“I can’t,” she’d tried to protest. “My patients—”

“Shizune and I can take them for a week, Sakura,” Tsunade reassured her. “Just rest. You never take enough time off anyway. And I’ll have security haul you out if you try to refuse.”

She wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Sakura had gone home with strict orders to not even think about the hospital until next week.

Home had not been better.

The headaches were getting worse, the dizzy spells lasting longer and longer. Two days into her mandatory leave, she’d woken up and laid in bed for the next three hours because she simply couldn’t summon the energy to get up. When she’d finally managed, she only stayed upright long enough to reheat some leftovers before she was forced to return to bed.

There was a part of her that was worried—maybe she really was sick—but she couldn’t pinpoint her symptoms as anything other than possibly a migraine. Unusual for her lately, but she’d had them as a young teen, so most likely it was the pressure of being the newest (and youngest) doctor at Konoha General catching up with her.

Rest, she told herself. Treat yourself like any other patient.

So Sakura sent off a text to her friends that she was taking some much needed R&R and might not respond for a while as she waited for her migraine to die down. And then she put her phone on Do Not Disturb, turned off the lights, made sure to drink plenty of water, and got comfortable. If this migraine was anything like the ones she’d had as a kid, then she’d probably keep feeling like shit for at least another two or three days.

Day three sucked as much as she’d thought it would, her headache becoming borderline unbearable to the point that even ibuprofen didn’t seem to help. She felt tired more often than not and even though she knew she was ruining her sleep schedule, she let herself doze in and out of consciousness all day. At least when she was asleep, she wasn’t as aware of the pounding in her head.

On day four, she woke to total darkness.

Still early morning, she assumed, unsurprised given the fact that she’d slept all day yesterday. She felt better than she had all week, which was a relief. Her head still ached, but not quite as bad as it had yesterday, and for the first time in a month, she felt properly rested. Good enough, definitely, to sit up in bed instead of just lying here like a dead fish.

Only when she tried to push herself upright, she was met with resistance in the form of some thing strap crossed over her chest. She went to move it, but her hands wouldn’t budge no matter how hard she yanked, and she felt something constrict around her wrists, keeping her firmly in place.

For a half second, she thought she was having some horrifying nightmare, or maybe experiencing a form of sleep paralysis despite the fact that she’d never had that before.

And then a low light clicked on overhead and a soft, delicate voice called out, “Ah, good. You’re awake.”

Sakura froze. She knew that voice. She knew that voice. Why—

“Hello, Sakura.” A slim body stepped up beside her, and she blinked as her eyes adjusted, taking in tousled red hair, fine features, pretty amber-brown eyes framed in dark lashes. Sasori. Her coworker, of sorts, though he worked as a coroner in the morgue, and so she didn’t see him often.

No, that wasn’t quite true. He was an anti-social, frigid bastard—at least, according to the rest of the hospital, he was—but she tended to bump into him at least twice a week at the vending machines, catch a meal with him in the cafeteria every now and then on a late-night shift. They’d even collaborated a few times on police cases when Sakura had tried to perform an emergency surgery on a poison victim. After her patient had died on the table, Sasori had been the one to autopsy them, and he’d offered comfort in the sense that he felt confident nothing Sakura could have done would have saved the patient.

They weren’t friends, exactly, but they were friendly. Outside of Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-sempai, actually, Sakura got along with him the best. He wasn’t threatened by the fact that she was incredibly young and incredibly talented. He had never accused her of receiving preferential treatment or only getting the position because Tsunade ran the hospital. Every conversation with him had left Sakura feeling uplifted, because even if Sasori was prickly and arrogant and rude, he also had no interest in lying to spare someone’s feelings, which meant that any praise could be trusted to be genuine.

He had praised her a lot. Not that he never criticized her, because he did, but…he had told her she was brilliant, that other people were only mean because they were pathetically jealous, that she had the potential to surpass even Tsunade-shishou, given enough time and experience. And Sakura had been flattered. It didn’t hurt, of course, that he was a slightly older, more experienced doctor—though he didn’t look it—and that he was intelligent and handsome. It didn’t hurt that because he was so harsh on other people, every compliment made Sakura feel…special. Noticed and appreciated and valued as something extraordinary.

Maybe it was because he had been so nice to her that she didn’t make the immediate, obvious connection.

“Sasori, what are you doing here, how—”

But of course, her mind had always worked fast. That was how she’d managed to score a full scholarship to college and med school after. That was how she’d risen quickly in the ranks, how she’d gotten such a prestigious job offer right after graduating. How she knew that something was wrong and that something had been wrong for a while, and how it was his doing, even if she didn’t know the specifics.

“Where am I?” she asked, feeling cold all over. “And why the fuck am I being restrained?”

Sasori blinked, those long, dark lashes casting a shadow on his smooth cheeks. “The where is unimportant. As for why, I thought you might try to run once you got some of your energy back.”

Energy back? Because she’d been sick. Not just sick, though, not really. Gods, she’d been so fucking stupid.

“You poisoned me.” How he’d done it, she had no idea, especially given that it had gotten worse after she left the hospital. Had he been in her home? Tampering with the food in her fridge? With her water?

“I poison a lot of people,” he dismissed, as if it were the same as saying, “Oh, I run red lights all the time.”

“Why?” Maybe it was nonsensical of her, but she thought they had gotten along. She thought that if Sasori was going to poison anybody, it would have been that police detective he called incompetent all the time, or the nurse who’d misfiled patient information about twelve times in a single week, or the assistant coroner who’d only made it three days because they had knocked over a tray full of an autopsy patient’s intestines and Sasori had chewed them out for an hour straight.

Come to think of it, how did she know he hadn’t poisoned the assistant coroner?

“A necessary evil,” he said, sighing as though he regretted it. She wasn’t sure he was capable of regret.

And then another thought occurred to her.

“Are you going to kill me?”

At that, Sasori frowned. One cool hand reached up to trail along her cheek, tracing her jawline with careful, featherlight touches, brushing gently across her mouth. She flinched back, but there was nowhere to go, strapped down as she was.

“You’re certainly pretty enough to be one of my dolls,” he mused, almost considering.

What the fuck does that mean? She could feel her heartbeat in the back of her throat, taste the adrenaline thick on her tongue. Part of her wanted to give into the blind panic, but the other part felt frozen, or like she was moving through syrup. Like she couldn’t process the facts: that she’d been poisoned by a coworker who was a fucking psychopath, that she’d been abducted and tied down to a table, that he might kill her.

One of my dolls, he’d said, and Sakura might not have all the information, but that sounded…she swallowed back the bile rising in her throat.

That sounded like he killed people and made playthings of them.

“But no, Sakura. Killing you would be wasteful.” He hummed, dragging his fingers over her skin again, like a mockery of a lover’s caress.

She was almost afraid to ask, afraid of the answer. She thought she knew Sasori, even if only as an acquaintance, as an almost-friend. But she didn’t know this man at all.

“What do you want from me?”

She didn’t know if there was a good answer to that. No one who poisoned and kidnapped their coworker was going to back out now. Sakura had watched enough true crime to know: if he let her live, he’d never let her go. Not willingly, at least.

“My artistry lies with dead bodies. Yours, with living ones.” He shrugged, expression apathetic except for the sharp, sickening gleam of his eyes. “I want you to help me…extend the expiration date, if you will. Fresh materials are so much better to work with.”

Sakura stared at him with growing horror. He wanted…he wanted her to keep his victims alive? Just so he could draw out the torture? So he could…could harvest from them at will?

“Shh,” he hushed, hand running soothingly through her hair, and it was only then that she realized she had started crying, a silent, heaving sort of sob that shuddered through her. “Don’t worry. We’ll do great work together. You’ll see.”

#whumptober2022 #no.22 #poisoned #naruto #sasosaku #sasori #haruno sakura #fic #kidnapping #poisoning #serial killer au #dark

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grouchydairy · 9 months

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It’s probably the one thing that’s really contributed to maintaining my mood and health in general. Without a solid sleep schedule, I find that everything else goes out the door - I start eating junk food to cope with tiredness, I don’t want to workout because I’m sore, my attention is SO BAD, etc. That’s why I stand by my bedtime now.

#bedtime

#bedtime #author's bio #mood #health #mental health

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ramyeongif · 10 months

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#bedtime

#bedtime #author's bio #mood #health #mental health

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v-isca · 4 years

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a while ago i reset my pokemon platinum game, heres my team so far. plantain and bibarel are mostly there for hms but i appreciate them as well

also a funny thing about my luxray, she was an unexpected shiny

she literally has the personality of a housecat

#ive been quiet bc of general tiredness+a bad sleep schedule #but also bc ive been playing this #visctalks #pkmn tag #i hope this isnt too long on destop. if it is ill try changing the screencap

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toxicityriot · 3 years

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Shishigumi Family AU Drabble:

Summary: Ibuki is up late at night, trying to wrap his head around the recent events of his (formerly) missing boss. Louis is awake too dealing with his own struggles and the lion comes to grip that he doesn't just see the young and stubborn buck as his boss or friend but as something more: family

Disclaimer: I've only seen the anime once and skimmed a few random manga pages to try and learn about characters (currently making slow progress on reading the whole thing online). I'm sorry if I butchered personalities and/or backstories in canon so I guess anything messed up would just be part of the AU lol.

Things were beginning to look like they were heading in the right direction. It only took about two months for things to start moving slow once more. Tensions have fallen and eased back into the normal casual lifestyle of the Shishigumi-or whatever the ‘norm’ for a ragtag group of lions keeping a rather taboo location in check. It was their norm anyway and they frankly did not care if anyone thought different.

Despite the feeling of calmness washing over the rundown tower of a mansion, Ibuki could sense the underlying troubles that shook the members of the Pride down to its foundations. Even though the future was looking pretty good as of now, it had only just started to calm down after a rather devastating event that had even him sick to his stomach. He did not allow this feeling to really present itself publicly but he was still a bit shaken from the events that had unfolded a couple of months ago.

It had started when the Shishigumi boss had run off, ordering his lion followers to stay behind. That it was his duty to help a friend. Normally, the lions would not care to meddle with high school drama or fighting students but with one of their own running straight into the snarling jaws of carnivores, it had them all worried. Ibuki could recall the sheer power and determination that blazed like orange flames in his boss’ copper colored eyes, mingled with the heavy scent of fear that radiated off his body like a furnace. A few of the lions almost broke their ‘promise’ to try and give their boss bacup after hearing about what this fight was about. But in the end, it was not their fight and they respected their boss too much to go against his orders.

It had been a nerve wracking waiting game as the sun had slowly risen over the streets of the Market. They patiently waited for a sign.

No calls, no texts, no check ins, and not a single letter.

The Shishigumi boss had gone off the radar. Being an herbivore thrusting himself into a fight between two apex predators and had not returned, hope was slowly fading. By night three, the lions began to schedule patrols to keep an eye out for their horned friend, just in case. They kept their eyes and ears open in the market as well tracking any shipments of deer meat in the market just in case.

By the end of the second week, there was still no sign of their missing boss and Ibuki had taken the role as the new leader of the Pride. It was heavily suspected that their friend had gotten too close to the deadly fight and had been devoured. It sickened Ibuki. He had grown fond of the deer and it devastated him to think of the outcome of that fight.

Ibuki removed his glasses from his face with a sigh. It had only been about a week since Louis’ return and reassignment as boss once more. He could tell that whatever happened at that fight was troubling the boy. He never spoke of the full story in detail and that was his choice. He would respect that. The others did as well when they haute their poking and prodding but Ibuki had noticed that their were more changes to the former high school student than just physical. He noticed that he had slowly started to take better care of himself and was a lot more open on his thoughts and feelings than before. Even though these changes were not necessarily bad, it still left him in questions as to why. Louis had even halted his newfound carnivorous diet in favor of the much healthier greens he was supposed to be eating and gained a couple of pounds back in the process. He was still poorly underweight and underdeveloped for his age and species but Ibuki was proud to see the small glimmers of improvement in the field of self care.

Small tap like thuds drew the old lion out of his thoughts as he redirected his attention to the flight of stairs. He had been so lost in his own head that he failed to realize that Louis was almost at the bottom of the staircase. He watched calmly as the deer slowly inched his way down, step by step with a hand on the wall for support, occasionally whispering small mutters to himself. Quite possibly cursing the terrible night vision he had as an herbivore. It was also good to see that Louis did not seem on edge at this hour of night as he seemed to have full trust in the Pride to not attack him when he was basically blind. A louder tap and a metallic thump let the deer know that he had made it safely down the stairs and with a flick of an ear, he adjusted his loosely fitted white shirt. Ibuki decided to make his presence known as he slowly strode towards the deer, making sure his footsteps were not light so as to not startle him. Wide unseeing copper eyes looked up and his head turned to the general direction of the footsteps. “Hey,” he greeted softly.

Ibuki noticed the tiredness in the young buck’s voice and gave a small nod of his head. “Louis,” he returned the greeting warmly. “What are you doing up? With all due respect, i thought you would be asleep.”

Louis strugged a shoulder, not caring that the hem of the shirt has slipped over his shoulder. The lion could see the small white spots dotting the brown fur. He frowned slightly. He had only seen the fawn spots once before. Being brought up in the Market did its damage on the boy in more ways than one. “Couldn't sleep.” Louis slowly limped towards the kitchen, keeping one hand slightly away from his body to feel around his surroundings. “I could ask you the same thing.” The lion followed, impressed by the boy’s navigation skills. Even though he was relying on the sense of touch and his memory of the mansion’s layout, he seemed to be doing quite well in the dark.

Being an herbivore living with a group of lions certainly had some of its perks.

Ibuki observed the way Louis tended to keep most of his weight into his left leg with each step, putting only a small amount of pressure onto his prosthetic while he limped. He could tell the deer was trying to hide the limp but his efforts were not working well. He hung back a bit as he opened the fridge, squinting his eyes a bit to adjust his eyes to the sudden brightness that flooded the kitchen with a white glow, just standing there as if debating what his next move would be. The lion glanced down and noted how his left leg hovered about an inch from the ground and how he gripped onto the fridge for support. His ears twitched and his tail swayed slowly. "Does it hurt, boss?"

Louis did not reply. In fact, he made no indication that he heard the question but it seemed to snap him out of his trance when he grabbed a bottle of water. He closed the fridge and leaned his back against the door, twisting the cap off and taking a drink. Ibuki wondered if he hit a nerve.

"Yeah." Louis responded after another sip. He sighed and looked down, slowly moving his right leg as if observing it. "Sometimes it's like I can still feel my hooves on the ground. Sometimes it burns. Sometimes its just numb. Sometimes it's a little bit of all." Pushing himself off the fridge, he screwed the lid back on the now empty bottle and placed it back in the fridge in a drawer that held his own personal food items and drinks. "I try not to think about it too often. Thinking about it only makes the pain worse."

There was a long silence that fell between carnivore and herbivore. Ibuki, just standing near the doorway of the kitchen and Louis, leaning against the fridge with his head down, antlers making soft scraping noises as they accidentally brushed against the fridge door. He could see the boy's ears were drooping, his tail low, and his eyes nearly closed with a sorrowful expression on his face. So many thoughts must be lurking in his head, so many questions about life in general. It was one of the many things that had changed since Louis’ return. He seemed to be more readable than ever yet so unpredictable. In fact, he was always unpredictable, especially from the start when he took the first bite of meat at the table, asserting his growing authority over the lions who had watched his every move with wonder and some disbelief.

Ibuki ran his hand through his mane as Louis straightened himself a bit. The deer came closer, keeping his eyes downcasted as he seemed to follow the sound of the lion’s breath. Ibuki watched with concern that melted into confusion as Louis hesitantly leaned his head against his chest, careful not to accidentally impale him with the sharp ends of his antlers. He stood there, immensely unsure about the gesture. It wasn't until Louis’ smaller arms held onto him that he realized he was seeking comfort from whatever was plaguing his brain. Inuki slowly lowered himself to kneel on his knees to reduce the massive height difference and returned the embrace gently, hoping that his act of affection and care would sooth the boy. It was just another thing that made its way onto the unpredictable things to come from the smaller animal. Hell, he never would've thought that he even liked hugs but this interaction proved him wrong,

“I'm sorry,” Louis had whispered as he moved his head to rest his chin on Ibuki’s shoulder. “I was harsh on you guys. All you wanted to do was help and I turned your offers down. I should have let told you that i was still alive and-”

“With all due respect boss, i'm going to stop you right there.” Ibuki gently pulled Louis off on him and laid his hands on his shoulders, a soft look from his eyes even if he couldn't see it. “You don't need to apologize for anything. You were loyal to your wolf friend and helped him out when things got ugly. You put the ones you cared about first before your own needs and that says something about a person.” The lion smiled, gently scratching the fur behind the deer’s left ear. “You might have antlers instead of a mane, hooves for claws, and flat teeth in place of fangs but you damn well have the heart and soul of a lion. I dont think ive ever heard or witnessed another herbivore like yourself doing what you did back there. I know you made a remark about me not being your father but Louis...im proud of you, as if…” he trailed off, studying Louis' expression for a sign to continue. He could not see any negative thoughts or maybe even a furrowed brow of disgust. Hell, if anything, his expression was completely unreadable.

He could not bring himself to say it, at least not yet. He just simply gave a small nod and a smile. “All that I'm trying to say is that I'm glad to have you back with us, Louis. You're always welcome here as our Boss, friend, and a part of our family.” Ibuki slowly raised himself back to his feet, giving Louis a playful rub between his antlers. “It was nice talking with you, son,” he added. He saw Louis’ ears perk up straight at the nickname. “ I'll let you get back to whatever you were wanting to do. I'll see you in the morning. Try not to stay up too late. You need your sleep.” As Ibuki made his way out of the kitchen, he could still feel the deer’s eyes on his back, following the movement of his departure as he made his way up the stairs for the night.

Night had fallen and the morning had come. Ibuki was greeted to a rokous in the dubbed ‘recreational room’ as he watched the lions chat amongst themselves as they played a video game. He could pick out Agata and Free sitting on the floor in front of the television, Dope behind Free, Dolph a few steps away, Hino and Jinma watching every now and then as they spoke about their own thing, and Sabu crouched near Dope. Between Free and Agata sat Louis, the three of them going head to head in a heated game of Claws Of Duty on the TV. Ibuki did not exactly have the same interest in the video game but he took amusement in the younger members competing on who can score the most kills or who slaughters who first. He faintly heard Dope exclaim “kick his ass, boss” just before one of the sections of the screen displayed a kill animation for a round of bullets to an avatar's head, followed by Free’s groan of defeat in his loss and Agata’s laugh before he looped an arm around Louis’ neck in a celebratory semi embrace.

The eldest of the lions smiled. Things were indeed looking good for the Shishigumi, the band of mischievous lions and a theater performer of a young buck. He could not ask for anything better.

#shishigumi fam au #beastars #beastars au #shishigumi #beastars ibuki #beastars Louis #riots writings #beastars fanfic #father/son #found family

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 2 years

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Note to self: I am a big fan of all-nighter alcohol drinking. I think this is a very bad idea but you guys do whatever

I didn't have too much trouble getting my sleep schedule disrupted to this degree before going on Prozac, but I did feel like I wasn't functioning as well for a while, so it's possible that taking this much of the Prozac was causing me to be more hungover

I think what might have happened is that I was doing pretty good until I had to go to sleep at 5 PM yesterday afternoon, because my sleep schedule was very out of whack and going to bed at 12 PM was the only way it could be made to work (also I was on a lot of anxiety meds)

I felt pretty tired on arrival (and had to put off reading at bedtime because of the tiredness) but managed to wake up early enough yesterday morning that I was fine (I didn't go to sleep until 9 PM)

Today I didn't take any meds for the first couple hours of the morning because I didn't want to lose sleep. After that, I took my meds and got to bed at 1 AM, because 1 AM was still the time I usually go to sleep and 1 AM was the latest time I could sleep without being too out of whack with the sleep schedule

When I woke up at 5 AM, I immediately felt very tired, but I was not at all hungover, and it took a lot of effort to keep myself awake (and keep myself going) after the caffeine wore off around 8 AM (it took 2-3 hours for me to be no longer alert)

In general, if my goal is to get my circadian rhythm back into sync with sleep, I think it's a lot easier to do than just going on a whole bunch of anxiety meds and antidepressants for the duration of the next few weeks

That said, I'm also glad I'm off the anxiety meds and antidepressants because those medications made me feel pretty terrible for a long time when they were still working (for example, I felt extremely bad for a month after switching from Vyvanse to Wellbutrin to Lexapro). (Also I started drinking more alcohol a lot more often in response to this, which is kind of worrying – I'm trying to do the opposite of going back on the Wellbutrin)

ETA: I ended up having some problems falling asleep last night, but today's been fine and I woke up from my nap feeling pretty OK. Going off Wellbutrin and Lexapro has been much better for me than off of them for a month or so

#blah blah blah #medications ////#alcohol ////

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headoverjojo · 4 years

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Hi! Errm if your ask box is still open can I ask for a hc of La Squadra who have to wake up their s/o (or crush) for a mission while knowing that she has been very sleep deprived lately??? I hope it does make sense ^^''''' also if your not comfortable with it then don't mind the request, I don't want to force you!

Hello there, dear! Oh gosh, I’m terribly sorry for this MASSIVE delay ç.ç I hope these hcs may make amend for all this waiting! I hope you’ll like them :3

La Squadra di Esecuzione have to wake their s/o up for a mission while knowing that she has been very sleep deprived lately

(Under the cut for lenght!)

Risotto Nero

When it comes to sleeping habits, Risotto and his s/o are very much alike. They can sleep a decent amount of time just when they’re together, basically nestled in each other’s arms. Unfortunately, Risotto never had a decent sleeping schedule, mostly due to his many duties as leader of the Squadra. The last period, in particular, had been really hectic, and he couldn’t stay in bed with them as much as he would have wanted, and this, unfortunately, affected not only him, but his s/o too. She couldn’t sleep, and she could barely do the basic things during the day. Risotto couldn’t see her like this; but, at the same time, he couldn’t neglect his work. They found a compromise: she would have slept on his chest while he was working, at least for a couple of days, to allow her to recover a little. For the first days it worked: she was finally waking up with pale circles under her eyes and not as dark as they were before. But, of course, this couldn’t last forever…

They had a mission, a sudden and urgent one. The Boss had sent an email, requesting his immediate services. Risotto had no alternative but to wake his s/o up; he gently kissed her cheek, slightly shaking her, in order to wake her up. His heart almost broke when she whimpered, annoyed, and tried to go back to sleep, but she really couldn’t. He shook her again, this time with more energy, and she finally woke up, still tired; however, when he explained why he had so “cruelly” woken her up, she got up, to get ready to go. The sooner the mission was accomplished, the sooner she would have gone back to sleep, and with her Risotto too, all in all.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto’s s/o had a very light sleep, and a bit louder noise could wake her up. And, unfortunately, right near her and Prosciutto’s bedroom their neighbors were particularly… noisy. She felt she could become crazy hearing that endless loud snoring. It seemed like a bear with a cold! She tried to bear it as much as she could, but, soon, the lack of sleep became evident. She fell asleep even while mixing her coffee, while watching the TV, one time even during a meeting,even if Risotto closed an eye on it… In the end, at least until their bedroom would have been soundproofed, she decided to sleep at the HQ. And, finally, she managed to recover a little, to Prosciutto’s immense relief. She really needed it… she was on the verge of breaking down. She was nervous, tired and snappy… and how couldn’t she be? She couldn’t sleep even two hours per night, it was ridiculous! Unfortunately, her decent sleeping nights didn’t last as long as they both would have liked to.

One night, Prosciutto came to wake her up. He nagged her shoulder, calling her name until she grumbled that yes, she was awake, she was awake… what was that? She listened to Prosciutto’s explanations with a foggy mind, still sleepy and tired. What timing… she sighed, closing her eyes, missing Prosciutto’s upset face. He hated to have to do it, to bother his beloved s/o right when she was finally sleeping… but a mission was their priority, and no one was available; he would have surely asked someone else, even Ghiaccio, to come with him, but it wasn’t possible. Luckily it didn’t seem a long or tiring mission… if they were lucky, they would have been at home in a few hours and she would have been able to go back to sleep soon.

Pesci

For Pesci’s s/o, having a cold means getting immensely tired, because she can’t sleep. Her runny nose, coughing and hoarse throat keeps her awake all night long, and they torment her even during daytime. Pesci, while sleeping in another room -she wants him to do so; she doesn’t want him to lose precious sleep because of her and to risk to get a cold too, she’s more than enough-, tries to do everything he can for her, from buying her proper medicines to always refilling her with tissues, water and balsamic candies to soothe a little the hoarseness in her throat. More than anything, he tries to give her tranquillity, to allow her to sleep during the day, if her cold finally allows her to do so. Eventually the cold became weaker, and she could finally start to recover all the lost sleeping hours; it was such a relief to see her sleeping with a serene look, after days that seemed an eternity… the last thing Pesci wanted to do was to bother her, but we don’t always get what we want.

Risotto had called him in the middle of the night; he had to set off immediately for his and F/N’s next mission. Everyone else, including Risotto, was busy, and Risotto still didn’t think that Pesci was ready enough to handle a mission alone, so he wanted him to be with his more expert s/o. Pesci sighed, going to his s/o, who was, finally, sleeping peacefully. He hated to do it, but Risotto’s orders were unquestionable… he kneeled next to her, gently tapping her shoulder and calling her. His heart clenched when he saw her sniffing and grumbling, annoyed, but he couldn’t do otherwise… however, when he told her why he had woken her up, her tiredness seemed to disappear; they had a mission to accomplish, it wasn’t time to sleep!

Formaggio

Formaggio and his s/o, when they’re not busy murdering their targets, are often assigned to reconnaissance and espionage missions. Thanks to Little Feet, they can shrink down and comfortably spy their current target from a high spot. However, being shrinked for so long kinda messes the body up; both their eating habits and sleeping schedules changed randomly. Formaggio was used to it, by now, but not his s/o, who, even after days, still suffered from insomnia and general tiredness. She tried everything, from sleeping pills to white noises, but nothing seemed to work. She could sleep at most for one, two hours per day, absolutely not enough to be well rested. Even if she was so tired that she didn’t feel like even taking a nice walk in the garden, sleep just didn’t come to her. Luckily, after a few more days, she seemed to finally be able to sleep at least a decent amount of hours… but, of course, missions always come at the wrong time.

Formaggio sighed, watching closely her sleeping face. She had dark circles under her eyes, and even in sleep she seemed tired. For a long moment, he was honestly tempted not to wake her up, to go alone… but he knew she would have complained a lot. She hated to be left behind… and she always wanted to keep an eye on him. Not like she didn’t trust his abilities -she knew he was more than good in his job-, but… she wanted to be sure he was safe. So, peppering her face with tiny kisses, he woke her up, apologizing for the ungodly hour. However, she knew that he wouldn’t have woken her up just for fun, so she got up, mulbing and yawning, searching her clothes. She would have slept after the mission, maybe for a couple of days straight…

Melone

Melone and his s/o have a lot in common; one of those things is their love for research and experiments. Melone has a pretty fucked up sleeping schedule, and so he works a lot during night, and during daytime he naps a lot. His s/o, however, isn’t used to be a nightowl, and this affects her a lot. Even if Melone always tells her to sleep at night, she doesn’t listen to him; she wants to stay up and to work with him, not to check his datas in the morning! As much as Melone loves to work with his s/o, he’s also worried about her health; he sees her growing more and more tired, and she simply doesn’t listen to him! So stubborn… And, just to aggravate the already bad situation, during daytime she can’t sleep, even if she tries hard. In the end, Melone managed to convince her to sleep just when she was about to fall asleep during an important team meeting. That night she was finally in bed and not perched on a chair near him, and he could hear the quiet and reassuring sound of her deep breath. She was sleeping… but not for long.

While he was working on a new research, the faint beep of a mail echoed in the room. After reading it, he sighed, rubbing his eyes, and he turned to his sleeping s/o. It was so cruel to wake her up now that she was finally resting… however, there was no choice. She would have hated him for not waking her up for a mission, and, well, he needed her, her brain and her stand. They were supposed to go together right because they completed each other; he would have been way more vulnerable without her. So, even if his heart was heavy, he kneeled next to her, gently taking her hair away from her face, kissing her cheek and calling her. She sighed, tiredly opening her eyes, just murmuring a “Mission?”. Melone nodded, and she sighed, slowly getting up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Well, work is work… They just had to finish it as soon as possible!

Illuso

Among the members, Illuso and his partner are the only ones who never need a safe house, as it’s enough for them to jump into a mirror to be safe. Because of this, they are often assigned to long missions, but this, after a bit, isn’t good for Illuso’s s/o. Illuso, being the Man in the Mirror’s user, isn’t affected by the mirror world’s different physics laws, but his s/o is. Staying a lot inside the mirror world messes up with her body and habits, leaving her tired and even disorientated. When she comes into the real world, she can’t even sleep well for a lot of days! And this happened that time too; it was already four days since their last mission -and escape in the mirror world-, but she still couldn’t sleep more than one, two hours per night. She tried to nap during daytime, but it wasn’t really effective, not when Ghiaccio and Formaggio were around making noise. But, when she finally started to settle down and finally sleep a decent amount of time, an unexpected mission was thrown at her and Illuso. Of course.

Illuso was still a bit tired too, after such a long mission. And his s/o… she was still recovering from the last mission and permanence in the mirror world, he couldn’t ask her to come with him, to tire even more her already exhausted body… he sighed, watching her shifting under the covers, like she was feeling his turmoil. No… he couldn’t do it to her. She would have hated him and herself, if he had taken care of that mission alone. He gently shook her arm, calling her name more times, until she opened her eyes, with a low and tired mutter. She sighed, recognizing the “mission look” in her boyfriend’s eyes, and slowly got up, lightly slapping her cheeks in order to wake up for real. Well, they were murders… their life was like this, all in all.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio’s sleeping habits were weird, to be honest. There were times when he slept all night, still, without moving even a single hair. There were times when, instead, he was just restless. He slept too little, he always rolled and tossed in the bed, nervous, until he finally got up, when he was too angry at his “stupid body” to lay down. During the “restless times”, Ghiaccio’s girlfriend too couldn’t sleep a lot. It wasn’t easy doing so when next to you there were continuous movements and grumbles; it almost seemed to be on a boat during a storm! Even so, she never blamed him; she knew he had anger issues and it wasn’t his intention to keep her awake… still, this took a heavy tool on her body. She felt weak and tired, and barely managed to go through her daily routine. Ghiaccio noticed it and, not being stupid, he knew it was his fault, and this just made him even angrier at himself. To allow her to sleep at least a decent amount of hours, he decided to go to sleep, at least until he was calm again, in another room. Even if she didn’t like to stay away from him, she had to admit that now she could finally sleep and recover; her sleeping bliss, however, didn’t last long.

He just stood in front of her bed for a while, not knowing what to do. Had he to wake her up? Or just accomplish that sudden mission alone? He stared at her sleeping face, at the darc circles under her eyes… and then he saw her angry face, and he already knew what she would have said to him. That they were partners, that they had to go together… he rubbed his forehead, grumbling, but then he sighed, finally coming to a decision. It wasn’t right to leave her behind; he would have hated it, in her place. So, gentler than usual, he called her, caressing her hair, sighing when he saw how tired she still was, when she opened her eyes. However, when she heard they had a mission, every trace of tiredness seemed to vanish from her face, as she got up; time was running and they had to run even faster than it!

#jjba #vento aureo #la squadra di esecuzione #risotto nero #prosciutto #pesci #formaggio #melone #illuso #ghiaccio #fem s/o #s/o who is sleep deprived #headcanons #sfw #anon ask

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danideservedbetter · 3 years

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Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

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imaginesandideas · 4 years

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humid

roughly 4k words, originally posted on my A3O account. a late summer memoir; NSFW. reblogs, comments, suggestions and all kinds of support are more than welcome ✨

[whispers] y’all should really play Hozier’s “Work song” or “NFWMB” for this one 🖤

It’s been a tough couple weeks. Well, months. And it’s especially hard cause you’re living together, you’re married and yet you’re passing each other by. Not willingly for goodness sake, but you’ve been barely finding time for each other lately and it’s killing you. He’s not dealing great with it either, but he keeps the facade to avoid worrying you more. He’s learnt that at work obviously. The same work that has been keeping him away from you for so long.

You’re not better though. Everything has changed after you finally got your degree. The studying was hell, you were mostly tired and overworked. But Flip? He was by your side through highs and lows and was always super supportive. If not for him you probably wouldn’t have done it at all.

But after that you were met with another bunch of obstacles. Cause despite your earnest efforts, finding a decent job in the Colorado Springs area was a rather difficult task.

You went through successive stages of education but it never meant that someone would be willing to give you a chance. And again Flip was the most supportive husband - he would drive you to your interviews insisting that it’s „no big deal” and that he won’t be late for work, cause the work will wait for him anyway. You found his presence by your side in those moments extremely comforting. As you were driving around town he would reach out for your hand to hold it and place a kiss at the back of it. Such a simple gesture but for you it meant more than words. You knew that it was an affirmation, it was him reminding you that you’re strong, that you’re capable and that no matter what happens he’ll be there. For you and with you.

And you simply couldn’t help but glance at him lovingly as he was entirely focused on the road, making sure you get there safe and on time.

And finally, after many unsuccessful attempts, you got the job. It wasn’t a job of your dreams, but it was good for a start. You were earning enough to support your household budget and to take some of the worries off Flip’s shoulders. It was the independence you’ve been seeking, but it also meant that you’d have to get used to your lives continuously not coinciding.

You didn’t even realize when 6-hour shifts have turned into 10 hours. And then those 10 hours turned into a lot of paperwork you’d do during the weekends. But that’s okay, you thought, Flip was also busy at the station or going on missions so you couldn’t really be mad at yourself for doing all this extra work, right? And it was also pretty rewarding cause soon enough you got promoted and had even more complicated tasks to execute. It also came with bigger money, but all of a sudden you realized that you don’t even have the time to go and spend it on something.

Soon enough it dawned to you how little time together with Flip you were actually getting and the thought itself made you feel sick. Cause if you were to count all the moments you two had for each other during the week, it would have to be all the hours asleep and alarming amount of rushed goodbyes and kisses as you pass each other by in the hallway of your home.

Passing each other by - that’s what you were actually doing and it was driving you insane. But what could you do, you were trapped between the current project and all the upcoming ones. You were trapped between Flip’s and your own work schedule. Separated by the obligations that lay with your shoulders.

„That’s wonderful, I’m so proud of you!” His voice is heavy with exhaustion but you can sense that he’s smiling as you’re talking on the phone.

The manager position was more than you could’ve dreamed of, especially after such a long time in your current job, but the offer was so generous and unexpected that it took you a moment to process it. But first, you needed to call Flip. Partially because you wanted to know his opinion but also just so you could hear his voice.

„Well I have yet to agree but yeah I’m pretty excited.” You smile to yourself. „I mean, it’s a big step and I’ll have to get used to the new workplace but yeah…”

„You’ll do great baby. You’ll handle it like a fighter, I’m sure of it.” He’s really so proud of you and no distance could ever hide it. You can practically see his eyes shining with pride. „I love you.”

You sigh sadly.

„I love you too baby.”

„… and miss you.” He adds in a hushed tone.

„I know, I do too, you have no idea how much.” Suddenly you feel glad that you got to talk now, during your break with none of your coworkers around. It’s not like you’re ashamed or anything but you just don’t want people gossiping about the state of your marriage or you in general. It’s your moment, one out of very few you get to spend with your husband, even if it’s on the phone. And you’re just sad, your voice almost breaks as you’re speaking. „I know it’s probably just all the work and stress but I think I’m going crazy sometimes.”

„That bad?” He chuckles and you roll your eyes but you know he’s only teasing. „I know baby, I’m sorry, it’s my fault. All this paperwork from the last case got us locked up here for days. Even Ron had enough of it and left earlier today. Promised he’ll be back tomorrow morning but I wouldn’t bet my money on it.”

You nod mindlessly. Gnawing on your bottom lip you decide to take your shot.

„How much of it do you guys have left?”

„The case data? Uhh, for at least a day or two I think. Why?” You smirk but keep your voice on the same note.

„I might be wrong but I remember that chief once mentioned that you still have that overdue leave?”

He pauses for a moment, most likely trying to recall that conversation but soon enough he’s back on the line.

„Yeah I think there was something. I’ll ask him again but I believe there was a week or two.”

„Okay so, uhm, how about you get the paperwork done and we both take some time off? Just you and me, no work, no phonecalls, no distractions.” At this point you can barely hide the excitement in your voice and you don’t even care. This may be your last chance so you just hope he agrees.

„God yes, that’d be perfect!” He smiles widely and you can’t help but smile too. „What about your new job though?”

„I’ll handle that, don’t worry.”

„That’s my girl.” The smile he has at that moment will stay with him for the rest of the day, he has no doubt about it.

Time flies when you’ve got loads of work and things to look forward to. Those days flied by like a rocket and there you are, all giddy and excited as you walk towards your home. You decided to buy some groceries on the way and grab your order of italian takeaway from that restaurant you used to visit quite often when you were still only dating. Despite the tiredness and the overwhelming heat of the day you try to keep your mood uplift, the thought of well deserved time off with your husband is making all the work worth it. Cause he is worth, and you know that both of you deserve this more than ever.

The late-summer sun is setting low over the city and the woods and you stop in your tracks to catch that last glimpse of golden light. Who would’ve thought that one day you’d miss small things like this - slowly walking home, admiring the view. But you promise yourself to care more from now on. It’s a brand new chapter of your life and you decide not to waste a single moment that’s worth remembering. And you want to remember this, remember this day.

You set your purchase on the kitchen counter and drop your bag on the couch. Flip did not set the hour precisely but you guessed that he’ll be late, the usual.

After you put the food in the fridge - you specifically ordered pasta to be semi-raw so you could reheat it at home when the right time comes - you grab the bottle of leftover wine that you intentionally didn’t finish the last time. Now that you’ve got a couple days off it won’t matter if it’s not the weekend yet, you’re starting yours early. Besides, it should help you relax a bit, loosen tense muscles. And that icy liquid just feels so right as it reaches your tongue, perfect for a hot evening like this one. With a glass in one hand you step out on the porch but the air is still way too heavy with heat and you return inside.

After yet another sip you set the glass on the table and choose to change into something more comfortable. Ideally something thin, cause even back inside the air was pretty humid. Barefoot, you step inside your wardrobe and the coolness of it makes you close your eyes in bliss. The summers here were great, you loved the sun and the nature flourishing, but if you could trade one thing it would have to be the heat, especially during the night.

By the time you come into your bedroom you don’t even know what time it is, you’re too drowsy to care. Maybe you’d just wait in here, lay on these silky sheets you just recently bought for the summertime sleeps. You’ll keep one eye open in case if he comes back soon. You won’t fall asleep no way. No way…

Jolting awake you notice that the light is turned off, the whole room is dark and aired but still pretty humid as if someone left the window open. And it’s almost completely silent, except for the steady breathing beside you. There’s warmth spreading over your waist where his arm rests protectively and you smile. Once your vision accommodates to the darkness you see his sprawled out form, so pale in the night shades of your bedroom. He even got rid of the tank top he’s normally wearing to bed and you assume he must have felt just as hot as you.

You also realize that you must have fallen asleep before he even came back, cause you can’t seem to remember anything after changing your clothes in the wardrobe.

His embrace feels better than anything else in the world and you wish you could’ve stayed like that forever but your throat feels so dry that you decide to gently slip out. It’s no surprise that you still feel dizzy as you stand up, suddenly remembering the alcohol and the fatigue of workday. As quietly and carefully as possible you sneak out of the bed and then out of the bedroom, leaving Flip alone underneath the sheets.

One glass of water isn’t enough so you pour yourself another one. It’s been hours since dusk yet the air feels so heavy and hot as if during the day. Your skin feels sticky, like it’s covered in some sort of sweet syrup.

„You minx.”

His raspy voice coming from behind startles you at first, but his hands swiftly sneak around your waist before you get a word out. And you don’t even mind the warmth radiating off his body onto your back, engulfing you as he closes the distance between you both, that closeness is almost relieving. You haven’t been this close in a very long time.

„I thought you were asleep.” You say softly as you reach out to caress his face and he nuzzles his cheek into the crease between your shoulder and neck, kissing along your tense muscles.

„Can’t sleep without you. I need to know where you are.” He mumbles and you smile.

It’s true, even when away on a mission or an investigation - he always calls. He knows when you’ll be back from work and wants to make sure you got home safe. That’s the protective side of his that you’ve learnt to adore, even if one could consider it an annoying trait.

With his vast work experience, the things he’s seen over the years but also the love he had for you from the very first day, he couldn’t just simply overlook your safety. You were that one string keeping him grounded and sane thorough all the madness in his life, he wouldn’t have forgiven himself if he’d lost you. It was almost like a ritual at this point. Him calling you from the station before you head for bed, sometimes you calling him at the hotel when you know his workday on a mission is over. Not only does it calm both of you down, it’s also a chance to have that much needed time to talk about ordinary things.

„I’m sorry I fell asleep on you. I had some wine, I don’t even remember when I passed out…”

„It’s okay. You work so hard, you deserve some rest.” His voice is soothing in your ears, almost as soothing as his soft lips traveling up along your pulse point. „And I was tired too.”

„Was? Past tense?” You whisper chuckling and his grasp on you tightens, he’s pulling you in even closer almost inhaling you whole. His hands run up your sides, gently cupping your breasts before they retreat, then climb up again, this time underneath your shirt. Ever so slowly, teasingly his fingertips dance over your skin, over your slowly hardening nipples. And despite his bodily warmth it still sends shiver down your back.

He whispers but it feels like a thunder echoing along your neck.

„You already know.”

Your bodies move in unison as you turn around to face him. His face glows of late summer sweat in the dim light and it only accentuates his rough features, from cheekbones to jaw. He gives you a few seconds, enough to get a good look at his shadow-toned figure - arms, thighs, collarbones, stomach and that strong chest - at your Flip, before he pulls you in once again. This time his hands are even greedier, his movements are more desperate. But you’re right there to reciprocate, bringing your own needy hands to his dark, sweat-tangled locks. And when his lips finally meet with yours it’s like breathing. It’s natural, it feels necessary. It’s like magic but better, cause there’s nothing realer than this.

„I missed you. So so much. I missed this.” He whispers in between kisses hastily. His voice is hushed but deep, like in a tantric prayer. Like a spell.

„Flip.” You call out quietly, a whisper echoing in the darkness. He hoists you up, you watch his arms flex in the corner of your eyes, hands clutching on your thighs for dear life as he places you ever so gently on the counter. Safe yet so close to the edge.

His movements are sensually slow, so different from the way you’ve remembered him. With lips parted you let him kiss away the tension from your shoulders, arms, neck, wrists…

„Let me.” He half asks half states as he sinks low on his knees. Your eyelids grow heavy with each touch of his plump, warm lips on your ankles, calves, below your knees, along your thighs. „My love, my queen.”

You don’t remember him him like this and you’re hypnotized. He’s like a drug flowing through your veins, heating you from underneath the skin. Like he’s controlling your whole body, its motions, you.

„Baby please.” You’re begging. Flip likes that, a lot.

„Say it again.” It’s the depth of his voice, the booming of it that wakes you up from this trance you’ve been stuck in. And he’s looking at you with those cinnamon-spiced honey eyes of his. The eyes that are now locked with your own hazy gaze.

He kisses your ankle without even looking away and it’s like fire burning you from underneath and that icy breath tingling on your skin.

„Please.” A whine.

„Again.”

„Please…”

It comes out nearly a whimper, but he’s relentless, his face stoical like a cliff. Proud, patient, waiting.

He’s tempting you, testing you as if it is the devil himself kneeling beneath your feet. Encouragingly grazing his fangs along the luscious skin of your thighs. Awaiting your surrender. Your submission.

„Say it like you mean it.”

Your heart is shaking in anticipation. It feels so wrong and yet you give in.

„Phillip, please. I need you.”

And he bites in, sucks in, leaves blooming marks like petals scattered around a bouquet of fresh wild peonies.

He devours you entirely, completely. Trembling, you’re losing control, in fact you’re giving it away, right into his eager hands, lips, hungry eyes.

By the time his mouth reaches your clit you’re already blissed out, encouraging him with the motion of your hips, quietly gasping, begging for air, begging for more. Begging for no air at all.

It’s like you’re breaking apart, your body and mind conflicted yet something, someone, keeps them tied together, seals them with each caress. Your nerves are tingling but at the same time are so numb, like he’s crawled inside you, slick as a snake. He’s controlling you, the rhythm of your breathing, of your heart.

And your heart feels like a volcano, hot and ready to explode from your heaving chest.

„Y-yes, there, please.”

Your slick and his spit are one. Your inhales are synchronized with his lips. Perfect harmony, only it’s not quiet, it’s loud on his tongue, loud as the gasps leaving your mouth and even louder in your brain.

With your vision clouded you gaze down and that’s when it hits you.

Your limbs involuntarily shake, wave after wave crashing over you and within seconds you can barely breathe. Your mind is filled with light, like sun setting over beach, the sounds of ocean rustling. You’re divided, both here and out there, not even sure which one is which cause all of these sensations feel so real.

There’s this immense hot heaviness climbing up your torso. It covers your ribs, moves swiftly over your cleavage, rests below your breast, on your heart. His hand reaching out to touch you even more. So gentle and loving yet so delightfully demanding.

„Yours.” You whisper even though he doesn’t question it verbally. It’s in the air and you just repeat it like echo, like a mantra.

Fingers dig into the counter, seeking support. He knows you’re almost there, he can feel it through your uncontrolled trembling, your spasming cunt. And so he catches you, holds you grounded, holds your thighs firmly apart with his strong hands. Somehow it doesn’t even matter that it’s the middle of a hot night, it doesn’t matter where did your underwear go, if the sun is about to hit your faces within the next few minutes, cause all you care about is him. And you keep chanting his name with that haunting promise.

„Yours Flip, yours. Yours.”

If only you could see these honey eyes as they drown in the sound of your voice, the eyes that can’t speak but still reflect his love for you - selfless, filled with adoration and respect. In his eyes you’re a statue, carved and perfected thorough the years, and now he’s bringing it to life.

Your body goes tense one more time, from head to toes, from the crown of your head and along your spine. He slows down, he wants it to last, he wants to feast on you for the rest of his days and even more, but he needs you to be fed.

And gods, he’s feeding you with everything he has, with the twirls of his tongue, with his own spit sticking to your sweat covered body, the tiny bites and that gloriously filthy loud sucking.

It’s your arms that give in first and you lean back on the counter covered in sweaty bliss. His hands that kept your your thighs apart loosen the pressure, though you’re fairly sure of the bruising that will come out of it. The beauty of pleasure and pain.

Slowly he pushes himself up from his knees. And- fuck, he’s so in love with you he would propose to you the very next day if only that didn’t already belong to the past.

That’s when your eyes open. You catch him staring but he’s staring at you the way no other person ever did. Not like a prize, a plaything, no, he’s fucking mesmerized. All he sees is a goddess and the look in his eyes, his face says it all. It’s that tiny smirk on his stupid-beautiful face that cracks your heart open. You wonder how dare he tongue-fuck you into oblivion just to be so puppy looking seconds later. It’s like he’s testing you again.

„I fucking love you, y’know that right.”

„Phillip Zimmerman, how dare you. I should be the one saying that right now.” You chuckle but soon enough he gently grabs you, sitting you upright, his arms wrap around your waist yet again, eyes glossy with love. You’re speechless cause it feels like falling in love for the first time, this moment, him holding you close like this. You know this, you two have been like this in the past but you thought you’ve lost it somewhere along the way. Life can be rough, can be painful and sometimes just utterly normal, boring even. But here you are, gazing at each other longingly, maybe more in love than ever before because it’s no puppy love anymore, it’s a full-grown one.

His eyes follow the lines he draws with his fingers along your cheekbone, cheek, jaw before stopping at your chin. And he stares. Stares into your eyes.

He’s thinking how perfect you are, your face carved with determination, struggles but also beauty, and this immense love. He’s thinking how fortune must have helped his blind senses in catching you. And how he never wants to let you go.

He’s so lost in thought and so you take over finishing the sentence he meant to make. You seal the confession with your own lips, deepening it, making the words mean something beyond their definition.

With your eyes closed your hands glide over his face. You feel the softness of his skin, but also each of the tiny scars, the moles, the small imperfections that make Flip the person you know. Your person.

Your lips detach and you already miss their fullness, you miss the way they belong together.

„I meant that, you vixen.” He exclaims half-teasingly, but you know he’s sincere. You know him well enough to recognize it, so you just smile.

„I know. And I do love you too, so much. I really missed us.” As you speak he cups your face yet again but allows you to continue, not wanting to interrupt your thoughts. You were always better with words than him. „And I’m so proud of us, super-proud of you. How you grew over the years, how you’ve gotten better at everything you were already great at. And, like, grateful. For everything you do, for being so supportive and for being there for me an-”

„You better cut this sugary bullshit or you’ll make me so soft ’m not gonna be able to fuck you later.”

„Cutting it right now!” You pretty much cry it out and he chuckles flashing that full-blown smile of his, the one that’s reserved only for you.

„Good girl.” He says and you half-expect him to run off with you to the bedroom, but instead he kisses your forehead and pulls your arms over his shoulders. „But first, sleep.”

„What? No, no nonono. Babe, Flip, no, put me down. I can’t leave you hanging like this, let me-”

„No. Sleep. We need some more sleep first. Besides - I caught that small yawn you did 5 minutes ago, and you tried to freakin’ hide it from me so you’re not getting away with this one.”

„B-but…”

„I promise, we’ll catch up after a nap. Look, we woke up in the middle of the night and now it’s almost dawn.”

His words make your head spin in direction of window and you can’t believe he’s right as the first beams of sunlight hit your eyes. And of course you yawn on the spot, cause he’s really just has all the points.

So you just nuzzle your head in the crook of his marble neck as he carefully hoists you up. You stay there, wrapped in his love through the finishing moments of night, and through couple more hours as both of your bodies rest covered in silky sheets, with limbs tangled together, breathing steady. Even when the air gets humid again covering your bodies with another layer of sweat, you don’t mind. You’re no longer against the heat, not if it’s the heat he covers you with, not if it’s the heat of you together.

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