#aro intersectionality

[wheresjonno]

I am not above calling two (2) likes an endorsement so

Fic writers I hope y'all are taking notes

#dracula daily #now with intersectionality on behalf of the aro goth lesbians

[chrollohearttags]

it’s so funny when I defend lgbtq+ in front of my family and then we go out somewhere and it’s littered with the most yt liberal, pretentious group of ppl I’ve ever seen and they wanna scream “there goes one of ur friends” lmao girl get the fuck out my goddamn face with that.

#cherry chats 🍒 #for context: one of our fav places to go is this giant thrift yard #and it’s basically run by a bunch of college students #a good majority are nb or queer #and everytime #they go out of their way to say those are ‘my ppl’ #first and motherfucking foremost #they’re still white and that privilege doesn’t absolve bc the bitch is queer #second #it’s mainly them who draw a bigger problem w blk ppl than anybody #it’s all inclusitivy and love until a n*gger walks by #and then it’s pearl clutching and calling the cops #and victim complexes #like girl when I defend lgbt it’s mainly my blk trans sisters and aro aces #bc intersectionality be whooping folks asses #including other members #anyways #blk ppl stop being homophobic challenge #I’ve experienced a lot of yt queer ppl turning their noses up at me #it’s fuck them too #this ain’t shade to nobody #I’m just pissed off

[psychotic-tbh]

Happy pride to all my LGBTQA+ psychotic siblings btw (I’m a day late but pride isn’t over so yeah!)

#actually psychotic #actually schizospec #schizospec #mental health positivity #mental heath support #schizophrenic spectrum #schizo spectrum #disability pride #mad pride #happy pride 🌈 #gay pride #trans pride #intersectionality #lesbian pride #bi pan solidarity #ply pride #aro pride #ace pride #lgbtqa #lgbtq pride

[ivygorgon]

Did anyone else want Gilbert Baker's Pride Flag to have a love child with the Progress Pride flag?

Me too. Me too.

Also found this one on reddit:

#LGBTQ #gay #lesbian #bisexual #transgender #intersex #enby #aro #ace #queer #BIPOC #Gilbert Baker #Progress Pride Flag #LGBTQ+ #Pride #Trans Pride #Inclusion #Equality #Diversity #Love Is Love #Pride Flag #Rainbow Flag #intersectional #Identity #Community #Intersectionality #Human Rights #Activism #Representation #Symbolism

[aro-barrel]

too many anti-transandrophobia arguments fall back on a framework resting heavily on "the Patriarchy" as the central cause of gendered oppression with intersectionality tacked on as an afterthought.

yeah, they can acknowledge that men face oppression, but they say race, class, sexual orientation, gender identity, or abledness should be discussed instead (as modifying the "man" label) because those modifiers may contain "real" and "valid" oppressed identities. according to this argument, men are not affected negatively as a result of being men/masculine because masculinity offers inherent privilege. they posit that trans men, GNC women, butch women, masculine people are oppressed only due to their proximity to womanhood/femininity, so the discrimination they face is transmisogyny and not transandrophobia.

such an argument runs the risk of placing "men" as a neutral category from which we theorize oppression around (i.e., having an identity farther away from being a man means more oppression). you can't treat masculinity as a vacuous hole or some non-identity/default identity. masculinity exists. and masculinity itself is not always inherently privileged. someone gender-nonconforming can be oppressed for their presence of masculinity in addition to the presence of femininity. masculinity isn't always going to grant privilege—it's circumstantial. the image of "man" as this inherently privileged creature inescapably centers manhood around one type of "default" man (probably a well-off, able-bodied, white, allocishet man untouched by discrimination). do i need to explain how problematic it is to center theories around one particular kind of man?

frameworks that view "the Patriarchy" as the most important system in formulating oppression dynamics tend to be rather white-centric, through the creation of a default woman and man. if intersectionality of race is even taken into consideration, it is an intersectionality that tries to cleanly divide identities to prescribe oppression. for example, if you're an asian man, the asian part of would get separated from the "man" part (so that only the asian part faces oppression). but reality doesn't work like that. people's identities cannot be ripped apart, hence intersectionality. multiple identities are always in conversation with each other—one identity does not exist without the other. with intersectionality, no identity rests in stagnant position ready to be analyzed in a vacuum. thus, a man's masculinity affects and is affected by their race (among other things), even if it is a feminized masculinity (as with east asian men). masculinity then, can take many forms—privileged or unprivileged.

i am personally a little wary of certain people who only discuss intersectionality by cutting down the blurry edges of identity so they can discuss "axes of oppression." it's hardly ever that clear-cut. i don't think anyone can definitively outline a hierarchy of oppression using identities. when we try to separate someone's identity into discrete identities, we might end up denying them their holistic experiences.

it is important to discuss patriarchal systems when we discuss gender, but we can't make "the Patriarchy" the primary lens through which we view gendered oppression. gender and race (among any other "identities") are inseparable through the lens of intersectionality. you don't make your white feminist analysis less problematic by adding a half-assed intersectional analysis.

#i'm sorry i'm going insane #i see a lot of bad uses of intersectionality #and i've always wanted to write stuff on it #i don't think this is the last time i'll discuss transandrophobia either #i think bad intersectionality is leveraged against transmascs quite a lot #aro-barrel

[aroaceconfessions]

I was reading Bell Hooks' Talking Back and reached the part "about self recovery" and there she speaks about having to speak using the language of the oppressor and on the first moment I'm reading it as a poor black woman in university, surrounded by middle class and rich white men but then it hits me "Right, that's not the only thing queer about me in this situation".

And reading it I understand how the value is attributed according to hegemonic culture, forcing the oppressed to share their experience under some kind of translator so that we can transmit it in a way that fits the standards of the oppressor, we force ourselves to feel in a way that they can understand, to act on our feelings in a way that is acceptable for them and it's about being a black woman yes but is no different for me as the experience of being aspec.

Actually, while reading it I could only think about this part of me. I feel safer around poc and around woman and around people who are not going to look down on me for the price tag of my clothes and my cellphone brand and because of where I live I'm usually in safer spaces, I have spaces where I can feel my anger and pain unapologetically. But amongst many things there's this one that I don't, this one I have to speak about as if it's a minor inconvenience, no matter where I am I can not run from the agony and I can't express it, there's no place where I can feel safe, where I can forget for one single second that I'm different. I won't ever belong.

I am aromantic.

See? It's underwhelming. Because we never talk about how it feels to be Aro using the big words, for the good and for the bad. When we try to explain what we are, who we are, we always need to lessen our feelings — unconsciously from what I've seen online — so that others will listen.

Because I'm not allowed to feel intensely about my own identity much less my own oppression, they don't understand, because they think it doesn't matter. There are dozens of posts just in this blog, I bet from all around the world, about institutional, political, nationwide laws and societal organizations that establishes something that hurts aro, aces and non-partnering people, and since I can't speak strongly against the big shit imagine if I do so about the "lesser" problems (in quotations because when it comes to caring for Aros everything is a lesser problem).

I am not even allowed to say they are making privileges for partnering (specifically abled) peopel on taxes because they won't see it as a privilege, it's a "little help", sometimes it's even a "reward". I'm (not really) sorry but a reward is only a reward when everyone has the chance of achieving it, if the opportunity is not the same then it is a privilege for those who can try to achieve and a reminder to the rest — to us! — that we are in the wrong and living the way we do is not how it is supposed to be.

You know the worst part? Is not explicit. It's something people don't even realize. Like I said, we've read many confessions here, living costs, hospitals, job seeking, health treatments, everything is so incredibly amisiac not in an "I hate you" way, or "you are not allowed to this" way, in a "I don't recognize your existence, not because I want to exclude you, but because the possibility that something like this exist doesn't cross my mind and even when it does I just dismiss it because that's not how real people are in real life" way.

It's that point where you feel the neurodivergent, the disabled and the non-partnering experience slightly converging, when you see the world being built around you and you can't fit. They are not even making an effort to keep you out, this is not like a bar with a little sign that says you are not allowed in, is more like a tavern from a magical world with a natural barrier against you. You can't force yourself in, you can't ask them to change, you need to convince people to leave it.

And by it I mean our cultures, our societies, because adding our flags to pride and making teachers learn sign language is great, but June is here and no one else talks about us and when we talk about ourselves no one else hears and all our classmates can't even sign a hello so it's no different than learning alone.

And I can't be angry about it! Not strongly at least, I can't be intense, I can't be scary, I can't be loud about it, because if I do I'm turning it into a big deal and it shouldn't even though it is very much a big deal despite it not affecting you specifically. So I gotta lower myself, I can't be direct, I can't say that your viral speech about love is harmful to loveless people just because it was said with good intentions, because they are advocating for a good cause, because "the world is lacking in love and that's why it is this way" is trying to push for the good and I'm in the way of it.

What the world needs is more respect, that is the opposite of hate. Your "love"? It is harming me. Actively. I'm being painted as a villain and I'm not even allowed to be mad about it. I can't say a single fuck, literally, if I use the word fuck I am in the wrong.

Somehow I am as much part of the problem as the ones spreading hate. So if I, the Aspec, speak out of line, if the Aspec doesn't take lots of care with each word used, the tone, the expressions, the gestuees, then you have every right to step on me and, I know this from years of experience, no one will stop you.

[The Bell Hooks anon here again, got a bit anxious about someone misunderstanding me so I just wanted to say that what I was talking relates to the self-recovery explained in the book, which is a way to find or create the language needed to talk back and speak up, and what I meant was we cannot find this self-recovery as a community if we don't find ourselves (being aspec, the individuals and not being aspec the victims, the invisible beings), and since there's no self prior to amatonormativity and amisia (no matter how nice your family is and how protected you've grown, like I said, the aphobia is not explicit so people don't even know they are being aphobic), to find a full self we need to talk about what is like to be us, we need to create a collective, we are so very different but we are still one single community, and that includes talking about what hurts us, and we need to be truthful about it so we can find what it is that pain us as a whole, what it is that can be changed and find means to create change, actual tangible change that can function intersectionally but also independently. It won't work if we are not allowed (by others or by our own conscious) to talk about it in the way we feel it. Adding to that the issue of breaking from the oppressor she talks about, you can't be afraid of educating and even calling out someone for something aphobic even if minor, the prejudice can only be solved when the person doing it changes, we've been silenced before, we lost any sense of unity and it's great we have a space like this to ease our minds and vent like I'm doing right now but we need to know what is it we want to say then make ourselves heard. And no one hears when you whisper in the middle of a hurricane.]

#bell hooks #poc #woc #woman of color #women of color #person of color #people of color #aro #aromantic #aspec #arospec #amatonormativity #aphobia #intersectionality

[aro-culture-is]

I'm creating a character in my book that is Aro and I want to know how to write one of y'all and to make sure I'm doing it right. I will be upfront and she won't be a shy character. I want to know the stereotypes I should avoid and maybe some I should embrace and if you can some tips on how to create this character. Thank you for your patience and time!

hi @jaksalot,

I'm personally not interested in being a go-to blog for writing advice about aromantic characters. I think it's important to design a character upfront and ask aro people how they feel about that (and not "is this a good representation?", directly ask "how do you feel about this as an aro person?" - being asked to rep your whole community is kinda a lot).

Ultimately the traits you want that character to embody will interact with their aromanticism in ways that depend on your story. a common discussion of arophobic stereotypes in stories is of the trope of making villains loveless aromantics to explain their villainy. i think we can generally agree that's arophobic but - if the story contains an aromantic villain whose backstory involves being discriminated against in an amatonormative world and that's part of why they became a villain, or being aro just happens to be a part of who they are and unrelated.... that's different. you as the writer have to consider the story you want to tell with this character, and place their aromanticism in context.

it's all about context, and I truly can't say enough about how i'd prefer that you create a concept for that story, and then talk with multiple aro people (with their permission) about the vision you have and how they feel about it. who is your audience? how do you describe their aromanticism directly? what's the mood of the scenes where it is discussed? if your audience is likely to include a significant amount of alloromantic people and you describe aromanticism as a neutral trait, only talking about that aromanticism within dark scenes will probably still leave a negative association.

if the feedback is "hey, you're leaning on xyz and that's uncomfortable", then great! you can learn from that context why it's a problem, and not just avoid "shy" aromantics (which I honestly can't say I've even seen as a common trope, though it is sometimes applied to ace ppl). if the opinion is mixed, hey, that's great too! maybe you can explore that in your narrative. is it problematic for a villain, meant to be defeated by a hero, to have aromanticism as a driving factor even if that is not portrayed as an inherently evil trait? idk, how does your story present it? i can tell you that you'd probably have mixed opinions, because people like different things. and if everyone greenlights it, hey, congrats! you did it :)

#jaksalot #not aro culture #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod kee #writing advice #ngl i really dislike getting asked for writing advice #i'm very burnt out on that from being friends with a lot of creatives #and ultimately you have to consider the story you want to tell and the audience you want to tell it to #not to sound like an english teacher but audience / mood / tone triangle is important #and the purdue owl link is fucking legit #i don't do cut and dry 'this is good and this is bad' discussions #i do 'what is the background and what is the intention and what is the impact' #like not to be that bitch but the world is all shades of gray #and i don't think that's bad. i think that gives us space to be individuals and communities with complex needs #writing a white aromantic person will also have different stereotypes to consider than writing a Black aro person or a latine aro person #because intersectionality is a major factor in those shades of gray #also......... me: i don't wanna answer this #also me: goes on a long rant answering this with the complexity i feel it deserves #oh i just realized this is absolutely deserving of the tag #aro culture is not a monolith #good to see that buddy coming around again

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Hello everyone! We wanted to do a piece talking about the intersectionality of disabled and aspec identities and experiences - does this ring true to your experiences? What did we miss? Info on the images are written out below and included in alt text.

[Text reads: July is Disability Pride Month. Let's discuss Disability and Aspec Identity. While individuals may be both aspec and disabled, the two groups also have many similarities outside of people who exist in both. Ableism and aphobia, while both robust issues on their own, have intersecting pain points. Ace and aro people may be accused of being "sick" or "unnatural", and in need of a cure. Simple existence is conflated with suffering, and some people may be more invested in "fixing" aspec people rather than accepting them.

The idealized future - long life, independent living, marriage, children, etc - does not necessarily leave room for people in these groups. Disabled and aspec people can definitely have wonderful futures, without adhering to ableist and amatonormative notions of what a future should look like. Both groups are frequently treated as an afterthought in the realms of legislation/political advocacy and community care*. *A great time to remind y'all that we are still in a pandemic. Wear a mask.

People who are both disabled and aspec may deal with the added stress of stereotype threat*. Stereotype threat is the anxiety and stress that comes from possibly confirming a negative stereotype about the demographic one is apart of. Stereotype threat may arise due to the stereotype that disabled people are not suitable for romantic and/or sexual relationships, or due to the stereotype that asexuality and aromanticism are signs of illness or dysfunction. *Stereotype threat can occur to people of any minority demographic - age, race, gender, orientation, etc.]

#ace #aro #aspec #disability pride month #aromantic #asexual #aroace #alloaro #alloace #gray ace #grayro #also let us know if alt text in the caption is unhelpful #we don't want to assume everyone has a screen reader or knows how to access alt text

[lacewise]

Hey. I’m still seeing near daily hate speech on my timeline, especially to Jewish and Israeli people (minding their own business!!!). Stop it. Get over yourselves. People other than you also have a right to live.

Hate speech, bigotry, and threats are never acceptable behaviour. There should especially never be a time when intersectionally marginalized people don’t feel safe in communities meant for them on the basis of one of their other identities. I thought we went over this. That includes Jewish people. That includes, explicitly, every group that you think “deserves” it, because discrimination against them is “for a reason” (the only reason is discrimination). If it doesn’t, you have biases you need to unpack and grapple with… yourself. A good start is a lot of listening to Jewish people who explain how it’s discriminatory (which they shouldn’t have to do). No arguing. Just listening.

I’ve seen this about Black people, I’ve seen this about Romani people, I’ve seen this about Muslim people, I’ve seen this about Latine people, I’ve seen this about trans men, non-binary people, ace people, aro people, he/him lesbians—and I could go on. Right now, most often, I’m seeing it about Jewish and Israeli people (which are not interchangeable groups). It needs to stop. It needs to never have begun. You need to deal with this, now.

Unfortunately, I think I need to include some examples of antisemitism: sending Jewish people unfounded conspiracy theories and allegations is harassment. That includes using tags meant for in-Jewish community use.

Spreading the unfounded conspiracy theories because they “sound like” what you think about Jewish people is antisemitic discrimination.

Making Jewish people “prove” to you they have the “right opinions” before you’ll let them into spaces they have a right to access is antisemitic discrimination. Which you’d think a group of people who just learned collective punishment is bad would know.

Saying things like, (and I really hate quoting discriminatory language, so I won’t forgive anyone who made this necessary) “But so-and-so is Jewish” or “Did you know so-and-so is… Jewish…?” is monstrous. It’s antisemitic discrimination, and it’s pretty actively trying to cause harassment campaigns (or worse) against specific Jewish individuals. If you see that, you need to report and block whoever is doing it. I really don’t care what the current euphemism they’re using for Jewish people is, euphemisms have a history in discriminatory practices going back hundreds of years.

Trying to dox Israeli people, trying to mass report them off the internet, telling them to “Go back to their country” (really?), are all active and organized harassment campaigns I have witnessed. Which, after October 7th, strikes me as both violent threats and a support for terrorist attacks.

Some of you were platforming people who are clearly calling for progroms for months and then demanding to know why any Jewish person deserves to live in Israel.

This cannot keep happening. This cannot happen.

Don’t harass Jewish people. Don’t harass Israeli people, especially using antisemitic conspiracy theories. Not every Israeli person is Jewish, and every Israeli person cannot be constantly and individually held responsible for the failures and violence of the Israeli government. If people are committing crimes, you need to focus on the individuals and groups directly and provably responsible, and the government itself. And you still shouldn’t engage in hate speech or harassment campaigns. I shouldn’t have to debunk multiple conspiracy theories at once to say, “Don’t harass Israeli citizens.” You just… shouldn’t be doing it.

Don’t spread hate speech. Don’t engage in hate speech. Don’t engage in harassment campaigns. Don’t justify or defend other people doing it.

#off topic #not fiber arts #this is a daily thing!!! #it should not be happening AT ALL #I just… who raised you and why do they sound like Nazis #I just want to make pretty fabric!!! #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #discrimination #harassment

[aspecduality]

This very first Aromantic Visibility day as well as this and every future pride month: alloromantic people (non aromantic/arospec people) please please please don't just say "aros you all are valid and welcomed here!"

That is only the first of many steps but too often that's all I see done for aros. (For aces it's slowly changing to be a bit more) but a lot of people still think the A in LGBTQIA+ only stands for asexual (or worse, they think it stands for Ally, when it actually stands for Asexual, Aromantic, and Agender).

Saying we're valid isn't enough. You need to listen to us, both about the struggles and joys that we face and not assert that you know our experiences, lives, and feelings better than us.

Our experiences are not the same of course. They will be very different, varried, and you may not "get" them all. But the same can be said for our other human kin. You need not be able to personally relate to us to listen well and support us in both joy and sorrow.

To be happy for us and celebrate when something happens in our lives that is positive. To not treat getting a pet as us being sad and lonely and trying to make up for a lack of a romantic partner, to see us getting a place for ourselves to willingly and happily live alone and celebrate us being able to decorate it just how we'd like and get alone time when we want it. To not see someone single and try and push us into dating or someone else to date us when we don't want to because you, personally would be sad without experiencing romance.

Listen and help us fight the causes of our suffering and discrimination. When we say something systematic is harming us don't just say how the solution to affordable housing and better tax benefits would be to just get a significant other/get married, help us change how we as a society operate. Listen to us feeling invisible, unrepresented, and alone due to how society shoves down our throats that not feeling love makes you an evil monster and how you must find someone you love in order to be happy and feel whole. Help us get more information, knowledge, and understanding about aromanticism out into the world to help current aros not feel so unsupported and estranged or even unsafe around the LGBTQIA+ community as well as aid questioning folk who may be aro realize sooner that unlike how everything in society tells us, there is nothing wrong or broken about them and there is a whole life full of wonderful things and cool experiences waiting for them.

[Please DO NOT tag this post or refer to it as Asexual or derail the post to be about asexuality (or anything else). Aros and aces have a lot of experiences in common but this post is being made on Aromantic Visibility day and is meant to be about Aromantics specifically.

Of course, intersectionality is ok, such as being AroAce and how these subjects tie into each other and people's experiences with Atomanticism tied into other aspects of their lives]

#aromantic visibility day #aromantic #actually aromantic #lgbtqia+ #queer #my posts

[overcaffeinated-aro]

actually wait I could do a poll about this

*focus on intersectionality. I've actually written about this briefly quite a lot, but I could really go off the rails. leave no stone unturned.

I can't promise anything ofc, sometimes I sit down to write one thing and something else comes out. especially when writing about aromanticism. but these are all things I want to write about eventually regardless. anything I don't write about now will come eventually!

#aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #asaw 2024

[caparrucia]

I've gotten quite a few new followers recently, so I think one of my posts broke containment...

Lemme just.

Take a few proverbial shots in the air:

Trans rights are human rights.

Transmen are men, but they exist within the transphobic clutches of the patriarchy and pretending they have "male privilege" instead of being punished for failing to conform to toxic masculinity makes you sound like someone who's never been in touch with the community IRL.

Trans women are women! They're not inherently predatory and if such a thing as "male socialization" exists, it does not confer them power, but rather punishes them for failing to perform masculinity.

Nonbinary, genderqueer and genderfluid are distinct, valid and separate identities that often overlap but which do not constitute a "third gender" around which to build another stupid gender dichotomy.

Queer is not a slur, it's an umbrella term. If you do not wish to belong to the queer community that is your prerogative, but you do not get to tell MY community that we shouldn't exist because our language makes you uncomfortable.

Acephobia is fucking pathetic and you're a pathetic dork for committing it. Aces, Aros and Demis belong in the Queer community and their struggles are no less real because you want to be a dick about it.

I'm not American. The fact I'm forced to know and keep up with American politics while the average American pretends my country is either a tourist attraction or a humanitarian crisis zone, is in fact a sign of American colonialism and I'm not going to sugar coat it if it makes you uncomfortable to be reminded of it.

Mexican Americans are not Mexican. They're American, with Mexican ancestry. If you center their voices over my own people's when speaking about my own country, I will fucking fist-fight you.

Race is not a game of rock-paper-scissors and intersectionality is not about keeping score about whose opinions are deemed blanket correct without a second thought.

People's existence is not in itself an act of activism, so for the love of fuck, stop being weird to strangers who are just vibing and calling them "brave" and "inspirational" just because they allow themselves to exist in public. You sound like a tool.

Israel is committing a genocide. It is not antisemitic to point out that Israel is in fact doing a genocide. The solution to Israel committing a genocide is not to be antisemitic.

There are in fact several genocides currently on going: Sudan, Ukraine, Nigeria, Afghanistan, Syria, North Korea, Myanmar, India, China, Ethiopia and Congo, just to name a few. It is not racist to point it out. But it is racist to reduce any of them to merely a snarky remark in an attempt to prove how not racist you are. It is extra racist to say "other genocides" without acknowledging them specifically.

There's still hasn't been a situation where siding with the people committing the genocide turned out to be the right choice.

There's no such thing as a funny genocide joke.

No, not even that one. It's a genocide, it is inherently unfunny and if you consider that a challenge, you have lost the plot.

Primarily, though, this is a fandom blog.

Fandom is not activism and if you think it is, you owe me fucking reparations for the stupidity. If you argue about the well-being of fictional characters at the cost of real people, we're gonna have problems.

Neither you nor I are obligated to make every part of our presence online about the human rights violation of the hour. It's okay if you curate a space that exists only to make you feel better. This is my feel better corner. I will talk about things that are important to me, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to talk about all the things that are important to me.

I reblog art I like, tumblr posts I find funny, the occasional rant and the fic I write in my spare time.

If you like my shit? Cool. Consider throwing a tip my way if you like.

But I'm not a news outlet, and unless I'm quoting extensively and providing and citing sources, I'm talking out of my ass because it's my own corner of the internet and that's what I do here.

I've been on the internet since 1998, I promise you whatever has you in a frothing rage is neither new nor unnuanced. Please assess if it's worth spending your limited time on this earth getting angry at strangers on the internet.

It sure as fuck isn't worth mine.

#shut up rie

[rjalker]

Being Queer and being disabled are different things. Why do people keep insisting that we should treat actual real physical disabilities like their queer identities that anybody can identify into and be able to use terms from all in the name of inclusivity while speaking over the people who actually have that disability.

People with ADHD are literally pretending that it makes them paralyzed and harassing people who are actually fucking physically paralyzed when they're told that this is ableist. People who sometimes lose the ability to speech but can speak 90% of the rest of the time are saying that they are nonverbal and blocking and harassing people who are actually nonverbal when they're told that this is ableist.

Doesn't matter how many times people explain why these terms are not for anybody to use willy-nilly, because the people misappropriating these terms don't care. They just want to literally feel included and think that disabilities are like queer identities and you should always include everybody to be inclusive. And that's not how this fucking works. Anybody can identify with any fucking queer identity. You cannot fucking identify as being disabled and then that magically makes you disabled. Either you are physically disabled or you're not. It's literally a goddamn fact. You cannot identify your way into having a spinal cord disorder or identify your way into having brain damage. That is not how this works.

But for some reason people who do not have these severe disabilities want that to be how it is and they want to use words like nonverbal or paralyzed when it literally doesn't apply to them and keep insisting that they should be allowed to redefine these words in any way they want in the goal of inclusivity and not hurting their feelings.

Because for some fucking reason people with ADHD who insist on calling it ADHD paralysis think that having actual people in wheelchairs who are actually paralyzed Tell them that that is not their word... They think this is somehow the same thing as everyone harassing a spec people for not really being Queer.

It really just shows that these people have no understanding of disability and how it affects your life because they just think it's something that you can identify into, and that the goal should just be let anybody misuse any word they want instead of not speaking over people who are actually disabled and who actually need these words.

If you're insisting that people who are actually nonverbal or actually fucking paralyzed just need to keep giving themselves more specific terms which we all know will inevitably be misappropriated, instead of just telling people not to misappropriate terms for disability that literally do not apply to them, I don't know what to tell you. You're just ableist.

You cannot queer theory your way into disability. You cannot copy and paste best practices for queer identities into disability spaces. That's not how this works. ADHD does not make you paralyzed. If you have no problem talking 90% of the time you're not nonverbal. There are words for what you are trying to describe. Everyone is constantly giving you alternative words for what you were trying to describe.

But these people don't want new words they just want to steal the existing terms from the community who actually needs them and make it all about their feelings about being included in something that has nothing to do with them.

Listen to nonverbal people. Listen to people who are actually fucking paralyzed. Listen to people who have disabilities and symptoms of severe disabilities that you literally do not. It's not difficult. You cannot queer theory your way out of being ableist.

Being aro is not the same damn thing as being disabled. The existence of amateur normativity is not equatable to the existence of systemic ableism. That is not how intersectionality works.

If you think the prejudice being aro impacts your life more strongly than your disabilities... Maybe that's a sign that you should be listening to people who are literally, by your own admission, more disabled than you.

#made wit speech to text #abeism #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #cripplepunk #cripple punk #cpuk #neuropunk #madpunk #adhd #autistic #audhd #intersectionality

[aroaceinaerospace]

since it's the start of a new year and I'm a bookworm, I figured I'd share some of the aspec books I read in 2023. I've added any of the big content warnings I can think of as well as a link to the books on storygraph where there are more in depth content warnings.

Fiction:

Wren Martin Ruins It All by Amanda DeWitt follows the titular character Wren Martin during senior year of high school as he becomes student council president and fights his vice president to try and get the school's Valentine's Day dance shut down. Wren is very much an externally grumpy person who becomes much more loveable as you get to know him and see the reasoning behind his grumpiness. Rep includes asexual main character and an aromantic side character, and note this book is a romance.

Is Love The Answer by Uta Isaki is a coming of age manga following Chika as she tries to find the answer to who she is and explores her identity. This book is full of aro and ace rep with different life experiences. CW for aphobia and attempted SA.

Just Lizzie by Karen Wilfred is a middle grade book following Lizzie in how a science class assignment helped lead her to an understanding of her asexuality. At the same time, Lizzie is having to adjust to a new home and changes in what was once familiar and safe. CW for aphobia, harassment.

Non-fiction:

*note: these books cover some triggering topics in different parts of them, including racism, SA, aphobia, and more

Ace and Aro Journeys by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) is a really great overview of aspec identities, it gives more time to aro identities than a lot of other books, and provides quotes and information from people on various parts of the spectrums. This book brings in some intersectionality, though it is more broad than a deep dive.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality by Sherronda J. Brown, which has been my favorite read. This book is fantastic if you're ready for a deep dive into intersectionality and some deeper history on asexuality. This book, despite being very short, is a much heavier read content-wise, but it is very thought provoking and will stick with you. Each chapter gives you content warnings up front for the materials that will be addressed in the chapter. Personally, this book has been my favorite book on the subject and I intend on reading it many more times to capture more of the nuance.

#aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #if you have any recommendations pleaaaaase let me know #i have also read ace by Angela chen; lets talk about love by claire kann; loveless by alice oseman; every heart a doorway by seanan mcguire #gender queer by maia kobabe; the murderbot diaries (some people count it idk that i do); aces wild by amanda dewitt #paper planes by jennie wood; sounds fake but okay; the charm offensive and kiss her once for me by alison cochrun #i am ace by cody Daigle-Orians; elatsoe by darcie little badger; a quick & easy guide to asexuality; and ace notes by Michele Kirichanskaya #i currently have ace voices and being ace on my tbr for this year but am always open to suggestions

[astriiformes]

Anyways, if you are an ace ally wanting to learn more about how to support your ace siblings fighting alongside you in the queer community, I truly cannot recommend Angela Chen's Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex enough.

It's phenomenally well-written, and both explores intersectionality in the ace community & offers a much-needed look at what acephobia really looks like and how to support the full spectrum of aces (and touches on aro issues as well), as well as what the asexual perspective brings to the table when it comes to deconstructing the heteronormative, allonormative, and amatonormative structures that harm all of us, ace and allo alike. Read it, tell your local library to buy a copy if they haven't already, gift it to friends interested learning more about queer issues, and treat it like you would any other book that talks about issues faced by queer people today.

#it's such a good book and was such a meaningful read as an ace person #in part because it made me feel seen and in part because i knew it would be so great to recommend to my allo friends as well #aceblogging

[arromantica-lucha]

i got a lot of thoughts about loveless by alice oseman and if this post seems very one sided well thats just how it read to me. my opinion isnt the end-all and i value how everyone interpreted and was affected by this book. this isnt a closed topic lets talk about it

gripes with loveless by alice oseman

took a while to actually explain that ace and aro are two separate identities and still not that well. it makes aro seem like a subset of ace which is entirely false. its cool there was an aroallo character involved but still

the book title 'loveless' is a real term and identity and the entirety of the book kinda shits on it by enforcing the ideal that its still okay to be aspec cause platonic love can be experienced and any type of love is required or at least better than "not feeling anything and being alone forever"

it was weird for her friends to forgive her over gestures that had nothing to do with apologizing before georgia actually apologized and explained but that may just be more of a personal thing that i didnt like. likewise the story being about platonic love it kinda sucks her deepest connection is with her roommate and not the people shes known for years and wronged

kinda sex negative. i mean rooney says she doesnt dislike casual sex but then that whole thing becomes the reason she hates herself and a reason to cope with being "unloveable" and its kinda lame. you can tell that story without making it seem like casual sex is just a means of devaluing yourself. and you can be sex repulsed and still not do that. it just feels unfair to aroallo people especially who are told they are monsters for enjoying and only wanting casual sex when this book is supposed to be about aromanticism too

(can we also be done with harry potter references??? lets stop hurting trans and jewish people thanks)

basically particular identities' stories shouldnt come at the expense of others and other ways of life. its great and important to write different experiences because no one is gonna relate to them all but no one has to replace romantic love with ANY type of love to feel good about themselves and be human. loveless and aplatonic people shouldnt have to read something that uses rhetoric against their identities within a book about aspec people

things i like about loveless

i didnt relate to it personally but the experiences felt very genuine. internalized aphobia, being hounded by aphobic comments, finding it hard to portray love even in a fictional or artistic sense, etc.

I appreciate the references to race and intersectionality that come with being queer even if they were minimal. so few times is it actually acknowledged that there is privilege when it comes to being understood, coming out, being accepted, etc. the references to that were nice to see because too often intersectionality being brought up is brushed off and blatantly ignored or people pretend like they understand

it was written by someone who is aroace even if there are some things that can be less isolating within the aspec community with the language being used. someone being open about their identities and how they choose to define them in the mainstream world is how we get more peoples voices in there

it has helped people discover their own identity though id still recommend further research on the actual identities being named and ones not named. these stories are the first introduction of aspec identities in mainstream and that hopefully means itll start to expand to other identities within that community that have not yet had representation

this should be the start of developing more rep. the first takes are not gonna represent everyone and its a good thing it exists to tell a few peoples story. but that doesnt mean it should be free from any criticism because thats how we make them continuously better. i hope to see an aroallo character soon. i want the term loveless to be properly used in media and expressed for what it is. i want to stop pretending like ace is the umbrella term for all aspec identities. i want amatonormativity explained as the sociological term it is that harms all life not just aromantic and polyamorous people. i want a polyam aspec character and polyam characters in general. i want disabled and ethnic aspec characters where the intersectionality is just as important to the narrative. i want a whole lot more and to stop prentending like any of that should be unreasonable

#loveless #alice oseman #osemanverse #aromantic #arospec #aspec #aroace #aroallo #loveless aromantic #loveless aro #queer #lgbtqia #made this sideblog specifically for this post