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#anyways i was looking through my asks tag on here cause i was trying to remember my own oc info
homoeroticvillain · 2 years
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i should post about selfship stuff of here more again
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simpjaes · 3 months
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take the back-seat part two. (p.js & s.jy)
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Jake isn’t sure what’s worse, the thirteen hour drive to the beach where he watched you get railed by his best friend in the backseat, or the five days he’s gonna be spending there knowing he is expected to watch—or join, whichever.
– read part one here! 
minors do not interact, otherwise― pls reblog my works
WC ― 14.3k
PARING ―  jay x afab reader x jake 
TAGS ― vacation setting, threesome, voyeurism, exhibitionism, jealousy (both jay & jake), implications of a budding poly relationship, there’s a lot of dialogue to depict character development regarding the whole inviting jake thing. 
!!WARNINGS!! ― jay is a little touchy with jake, if you don’t like it, sounds like a you problem. 
A/N― reminder that this fic is a revamp from one i wrote over on my other blog! here is part two :D enjoy! 
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― borderline infidelity (jay is into but doesn’t wanna admit it), finger fucking, neglected cock syndrome, hair pulling, jay teaches jake how to fuck his girl, jay basically moves jake like a puppet, cum stuffing, humiliation/degradation, double vaginal penetration, unprotected sex
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
What Jake feels for the remainder of that drive was unexplainable. Looking at you through the mirror with Jay next to you…it felt,for lack of a better word, different. Sure, he’s walked in on the two of you before, and watched for a little too long but, this is different. He personally saw Jay stuff you full and not only that but he saw your face as it happened. You spoke for him, to him , and he didn’t even get his ass kicked by Jay after the fact.
The feelings in his head swirl around like a forming tornado threatening to touch down and cause him to lose all sanity. Five days with you two locked in this beach house with nothing but freedom at your feet. Worse, even when the three of you go home, he’s just locked in a different space with the two of you until he gets back on his feet. Jake isn’t even sure if he wants to leave now. On one hand, he wants to start running just to get away from the overwhelming embarrassment, on the other, he thinks he might like it. He thinks the two of you might like him being around to see too. 
“Is this going to be a normal thing?” Jake remembers asking Jay inside of the bathroom at the gas station. What was Jay’s response? “ Maybe, if you keep wanting to catch us.” 
What to do, what to do, with a lust so hungry Jake feels like it’s eating him from the inside out? Catch you on purpose? Stalk your private moments with his best friend just to get another taste of that bliss just out of reach? Not even a taste actually. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jay drags his feet as he carries your bags along with his own. He’s acting normal despite the constant groaning about how his legs hurt after certain endeavors on top of the thirteen-hour car ride. You stay close to him, attempting to snatch a few bags so that he would at least stop crying about the very deed he wanted to do during the ride. 
Jake stays behind, quietly carrying in his things and avoiding the cracks on the sidewalk so as to not scratch his new suitcase set (and so he doesn’t break his mother’s back). One headphone in, he barely hears the two of you as he opts to try and escape the madness outside of the audio in his ear. That is, until he gets inside the beach house.
“Okay so, hear me out–” Jay smiles at Jake, stepping in front of him as he tries to pass. “Listen, Jake. Just,” Jay puts his hands out in front of him, stepping both left and right to continuously block Jake’s path. 
“There’s only one bedroom.” You announce, breaking Jay’s plan of trying to convince Jake that it would be a sick idea for him to watch more . 
Jay did know. Of course he fucking knew, he’s the one who booked the place. You didn’t know, but he also knew you’d play along anyway. Given, Jay hadn’t completely planned the whole car thing so it’s kind of awkward now. Despite always wanting to be caught, watched, and envied, Jay really didn’t think past the idea of causing Jake inner turmoil with this rental.
“S’cool. I’ll take the couch.” Jake waves off, dropping his bags and looking around the space.
Your eyes drop before Jay’s do. 
“Wait, no,” Jay groans out, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, you can still sleep in there with us. There’s two beds.”
Two beds. So it was intentional to put Jake in a position he couldn’t resist, huh?
“The idea was to invite you to watch. Surely you’ve caught on to everything by now, right?” Jay looks at Jake with an apologetic stare. “It’s kind of awkward now inviting you, but I thought you’d be happy to take us up on the offer, especially after our little talk…”
Jake looks to the floor with tinted red flushing over his cheeks. 
“You really couldn’t just wait to get here first before sitting him down and discussing?” You ask, scolding your boyfriend despite the fact that you played at least fifty percent into his on-the-fly plan on the ride over here.
“You looked hot and he was tired.” Jay states the obvious with a careless shrug. 
Jake is just standing there trying his best not to let his mouth fall open. Jay really wants to propose that he should just watch? Nothing else? Just fucking watch?
 Ka-ching. It’s little to grasp at, but Jake’s gonna take it. After seeing everything and hearing you, why wouldn’t he? His best friend is practically giving him the ability to watch you be pleasured. 
“Okay,” Jake stops both of you from bickering. “Let’s discuss it now then.” He adds, averting his eyes from both you and your boyfriend to avoid showing how much interest he actually has in this little vacation plan.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
After a long and drawn out discussion, rules were set into place. Rule number one, Jake cannot touch you under any circumstance. You were quick to side eye your boyfriend’s best friend during that moment, noting the disappointed look that washed across his face. Rule number two, Jake can request things he wants to see, but if either you or Jay are uncomfortable with it, the request can be ignored. Rule number three, you can talk to Jake while it happens and he can talk back, but Jay will more than likely use every opportunity he finds to humiliate him for it. 
Jake doesn’t falter at any of the rules except for the first one, mostly because it’s going to be hard to not want to touch you. He assumes that’s part of the fun for Jay though. He feels embarrassed accepting the terms, awkward as he places his bags in the shared room the three of you will be sleeping in, and restless at the way reality hits him. You, his best friend’s girlfriend, want him to see. 
You want him to get off to you. 
He feels a bit shameful about it. After all, Jay has been his best friend for fucking years at this point and he’s a little unnerved that none of this is making him feel as weird as it should be. Should Jake really be excited about watching his best friend fuck his girlfriend? Probably not, but he is, and he just assumes this is another ‘ weird’ thing he likes added to his list. 
“Hey–” Jay nods his head towards Jake as you walk out of the room for a shower. You did your best to clean up at the gas station too but, to be fair, the bathroom was just as dirty and cum-covered as you were, probably.  
“Yeah?” Jake looks over at him, unzipping his suitcase and pulling out a change of clothes. Mostly so he can hop in the shower after you’re done. 
“You sure you’re cool with this? I know I kind of did a lot of this intentionally, but really, if you’re uncomfortable I’d rather you just tell us–”
“No!” Jake argues at an embarrassingly desperate pitch. “I mean, no.” He clears his throat as he corrects himself, and then does his best to avoid eye contact by focusing solely on digging for his toiletries. 
“That’s what I thought,” Jay smiles knowingly at him, internally writing a list of things he can do to torture Jake, a list specifically made to cause envy and probably resentment. 
“So, like,” Jake swallows, still unsure of his footing in this situation. “When will it happen again?” 
Jay actually laughs at him this time. 
“Oh, you thought–” He shakes his head and goes to take off his shirt. “No, no. Jake. You’re still gonna have to catch us to watch.” He explains, throwing his shirt on the presumed “cuck chair” in the room.
“Wait, what?” Jake is confused. They want him to watch, but they’re still going to make him go through the embarrassment of catching them? 
“That’s the fun part of it for me,” Jay tries to clear it up. “I like the surprise of someone seeing. I like the reactions. It’s exciting,” He continues, now stopping to really look at Jake. “Looks like you enjoy watching, so–”
Jake nods slightly, tilting his head with a furrowed brow.  “For the record, I’ve never been into this kind of thing. You kind of made it hard not to see things.” 
“I know.” Jay laughs. “Gotta get creative on weeknights when there's no parties going on.”
“You do it at parties? Like just right there in public ?”
Jay nods with a smug smile. 
“A lot of people don’t even notice, but the ones that do–” Jay’s eyes nearly light up. “They always watch. They don’t even pretend to look away.” 
Jake feels a little bit flushed at the idea of attending a party with the two of you. He couldn’t imagine being put in a situation where he, along with several others, get to watch you orgasm. 
“She likes that?” Jake asks, a little shocked.
“I mean, she gets really into it but I can admit that she seems to like when you watch a lot more.” Jay glares for a second. “Which again, kind of pisses me off.”
Jake waves him off, trying to act nonchalant about it. 
“I hope you know that this is more of a trial run, Jake. If she gets bored of you, she probably won’t be as into it later.”
Okay, ouch. Fair, though. Jake would never stick around if it’s not something you want. He can already sense that Jay didn’t want it this way either. Maybe Jake watching was exciting, but he does sense a bit of tenseness in the air each time Jay brings up how you lusted over him so blatantly in the car. 
“And if she doesn’t get bored?” Jake counters and Jay kind of takes internal offense to it. Passive aggressively chuckling towards him. 
“Oh, she will.” Jay says as a way to assure himself rather than answering Jake. “I’m the only person she doesn’t get bored of.” 
  Jake, for some reason, takes that as a challenge. He might be the one getting the short end of the stick here, but the only reason he’s getting a stick at all is because of you. Regardless of if Jay wanted him to watch, surely he never wanted you to like it as much as you do. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Well, competition is one way to put it. Jay resents himself forever even trying to get Jake all flustered. He did it because he wanted to be watched, but he also wanted Jake to be fucking jealous. How the hell is he supposed to be jealous when you, his own girlfriend, got entirely too wet for another man while he was buried in you?
Playing it as cool as he can, Jay is still excited, just a little less now that he knows he’s going to have to fight for your attention. Those set rules? Between you and Jay, neither of you had to actually follow those rules. Jake can do what he wants at your discretion, but it’s not like Jay is gonna just tell him that. He was shocked that you pressed to let Jake join just one time. His whole fantasy is about being watched during a private act, not inviting someone to actively play a part in it. Nevertheless, he granted you a small nod when you suggested it, sternly letting out a small “ just this once. ”
Sure, he’s the one who fucked you in the car and he’s the one who told you to talk to Jake but, it’s not like he expected the outcome that came from it. It was a moment of lust where he thought it would be hot to see you unable to speak because you’re being fucked– but no. You were speaking to Jake and riding him harder because of whatever the fuck was going on up in that front seat. 
Naturally, your boyfriend has that mischievous little glint in his eye when you return from the shower and Jake opts to steal the bathroom before he can. 
“You are aware that you’re getting more out of this than I am, right?” Jay laughs, pulling you from your stance and flopping you down onto the bed. “I just wanted him to be jealous, you’re ruining my fantasy.”
You smile at him with the same mischievous little glint. 
“And you’re an amazing boyfriend for letting me try something new,” You praise, kissing the tip of his nose when he crawls on top of you. “I’m sorry that it’s hot knowing two guys want me this badly.”
Jay sighs, dropping his face to your neck to smell the soap against your skin. Of course, you’d be into that. His thing is people being jealous of what he gets and your thing just has to be the idea of being wanted. It fits a little too well. 
“Bet you weren’t even planning to put anything on for bed tonight, were you?” He laughs with a groan, cursing how willing he is to let you have whatever you want despite not wanting to give Jake what he wants. 
“Bingo,” You smile evilly, pulling away from Jay so you can see his face. “Plus, it’s hot seeing you get all possessive. That’s new, even for you.”
Jay once again sighs with a groan. 
“Promise you won’t like, up and leave me for my best friend?”
Realizing there’s a bit of truth behind his concerns, you stiffen a bit.
“You know I wouldn’t do that. Just because he’s hot doesn’t mean he can pleasure me better, or treat me better.” 
Finally, a genuine smile breaks across his face and it makes you feel warm. 
“Do you wanna play a little tonight?” He offers, wiggling on top of you with a newfound desire over the fact that you always know how to silence even the slightest of insecurity he feels. 
 “After everything from the ride over? I’m tired, Jay, really.” You admit with a pout. 
“I’m not tired yet. Just let me do the work, you can just rest–” He tries to convince you and it works, much like it always does. 
Jay is doing this specifically for you. It’s not like he always needs to be seen when the two of you are intimate. It’s nice sometimes seeing you act real for him. Seeing your underwhelming and soft reactions to whatever he’s doing because you both know that you’re not putting on a show. He can admit to loving the way you still moan for him despite knowing nobody but him can hear it. 
Even knowing Jake will be in the bed next to yours at any moment, you think Jay can get away with whatever he wants to do privately . And for the most part, he does. At least, at first he does. 
Lying on your back with a leg thrown over Jay’s lower half as his fingers trace lazy circles against your bare skin, you knew his fingers were going lower and lower, but it’s relaxing even as your eyes fight to stay open. 
When Jake comes back into the room, hair still dripping a bit at his failure to dry it properly, you don’t move or react outside of a sleepy glance at him. 
“Hey, you ready to hit the sack?” Jay calls out, fingers moving lower on your stomach and landing just above where your panties would sit if you were wearing any under this robe. 
“Yeah. Water ran cold though, might wanna wait a little bit before you shower, Sorry.” Jake admits with shame, not making eye contact with either of you as he flops himself onto his bed. He’s wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, which is something you’ve seen him wear time and time again at home, but man, why does it look so hot now?
Jay laughs, kind of like an ‘of course there's no hot water for me’ laugh, but he doesn’t mind, if anything, he’s having fun lulling you to sleep with a gentle finger fuck session behind Jake’s back.
The room goes silent save for the television that Jay flips to some random reality show. You’re still focused on his fingers, more gentle than he normally would be. Still, it’s probably just because, for once, he doesn’t want Jake to know what’s happening. 
When your boyfriend’s fingers finally make their way to your clit, it’s not shocking that you’re already wet. Your breathing is still even, and it feels good to be touched right now. You turn your head only slightly to look at Jake. He’s so endearing to look at. Never once have you seen him preparing himself for sleep. For some reason, it feels intimate seeing his bedtime rituals. 
With one hand scratching against his hair, he’s on his side and practically hugging his pillow against his head as he fixes his eyes on the television. You can see how heavy his eyes are. He was already tired when he first started his shift of driving, and the back seat didn’t offer much in terms of a nap. You imagine if he knew what Jay was doing, he wouldn’t have the energy to participate anyway. 
You, though, are feeling a little bit more awake since your clit is being beautifully stimulated by your boyfriend. Jake’s supposed to be watching you with this little deal, but there were no rules that you couldn’t watch him and fantasize, right?
Jay is a little shocked when you hold his hand in place and turn to face Jake. You close your eyes at first, mostly so it still looks like you’re about to sleep, but you press Jay’s fingers a bit lower, urging him to penetrate you with them. 
He, like the amazing boyfriend he is, follows suit with a curious stare at the back of your head. Then, he turns on his side behind you and spoons you, adjusting his position so that he can swoop his hand under your ass and between your legs in order to do just as you ask of him.
Jay knows what you’re doing, but opts not to say anything despite really wanting to. He assumes Jake is blissfully unaware, somehow, so saying something would turn this whole situation into something more than any of you actually feel like doing tonight.
This goes smoothly for a few minutes, with his fingers gently and silently plunging in and out of you. Honestly, Jay is too good with his fingers and he’s being too quiet compared to normal, again, because of Jake. You know you shouldn’t be including him right now, but you are, even if secretly. 
A breath falls from your lips when Jay rubs his fingers against a particularly sensitive spot inside of you, sending a wave of warmth down your body and dripping out against his fingers. 
“Feels good?” He whispers against your ear, noting the way your breathing is a bit more audible. “Don’t forget that I’m the one touching you, baby.”  He adds in an even quieter whisper. 
You let out a small groan in response, very small. Just loud enough for Jake to fix his eyes on you to find you blatantly staring back at him.
You smile at him and press your ass back against Jay just a little bit, and he’s quick to move his fingers quicker inside of you.
Jake just looks at you, processing that it’s already happening again. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The summer air is salty but all too grounding for Jake as he sits on his towel and watches the way you and Jay appear to be as comfortable as ever wrestling on the shore of the sea. Even after last night, part of him wonders what actually happened but he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to ask. Not only did you look at him as you hit your climax, but Jake was made aware that he needed to be silent in watching you due to your finger coming up to your mouth in a shushing action.
His eyes darted to Jay when you did that but he appeared to be a great actor as he watched the tv with his head tucked between your shoulder and neck, fingers plunging in and out of you casually. Even when Jake gently fucked his own fist, staring directly back at you, he realized that this shared moment with you was something Jay wasn’t aware of. It blurs the lines a bit of what is okay and what isn’t, but the rule is that Jake can watch if he catches the act. He guesses you’re the one breaking rules.
Even now, as he processes this newfound sexual adventure in his head, he’s fond of the relationship Jay has with you. Incredibly jealous, of course, but also just– Jake wants what Jay has.He wouldn’t share you, he wouldn’t want people to see him pleasure you, and he certainly wouldn’t want Jay’s cock to make an appearance at any point during his relationship with you, but you’re not his. 
Still, the two of you seem to enjoy this kind of thing, and the fact that Jake appears to be the chosen third to take part makes him feel warm. Despite his jealousy, he respects the relationship you have with his best friend for the most part. There’s still that selfishness inside him though, the thought of being able to be between your legs rather than just a person to look at across the room? It drives him insane. Jay gets to flaunt you, make you feel good, and make you moan but, Jake is very aware that he got all of your attention the night before, even if it wasn’t his own fingers doing it to you. He got your attention in the car too, to the point of Jay showing his own jealousy. 
Again, there’s a thin line between what he’s allowed to do and infidelity. If you ask him to do anything though, he’s going to do it. He’s going to be what you want or need at any given moment simply because he’s a single man forced to live with his extremely sexually adventurous friends, and you happen to be incredibly fucking arousing to him. Jay kind of did it to himself. Never would Jake have fantasized about you like this if it weren’t for the fact that Jay desperately wants people to see his cock inside of you.
“Hey!” You shout from the shore, pulling Jake out of his thoughts. 
He waves back to you and then glances at Jay who has a huge smile on his face. Jake watches as you struggle to leave the water, the weight of the waves pushing and pulling you as you look at him. He stands to his feet, kicking off some of the sand on his legs, and makes his way towards you as well, meeting you in the middle. 
“I’m gonna have a snack, go waterboard my boyfriend.” You joke when you stop in front of him. 
“There’s chips in my bag if you want any.” Jake waves you off, realizing how normal the communication is between the two of you. In the silence, the communication is somehow more intimate.
When Jake makes his way down to the water, straight up to his best friend, for some reason he still feels like he’s walking on eggshells with all of this. Not with you though, because you clearly know what you want. Jay, on the other hand, shows that he’s annoyed over his plan becoming more of a pleasure for everyone but him.
“You’re not hungry?” Jake asks, dipping himself lower into the water and shivering at the ocean breeze. 
“Nah, we’re finally here. I’m staying in the water ‘til I’m forced to leave.” 
“Ah, good plan.” Jake confirms, allowing himself to float back a bit with the waves.
“Are we okay?” Jay suddenly asks, standing to his feet and looking down at him. “You really are allowed to decline this offer. I'm even a little nervous about it now.”
Jake squints his eyes open towards Jay, the sun blinding him more than his best friend’s smile usually would.
“It’s a little weird but I like trying new things. I’m not trying to disrespect you by accepting.”
Jay sighs in relief. 
“I know. If it’s gonna be anyone, I'd rather it be you.” He laughs with a sigh. “Still would rather her focus on me but I guess I kind of owe her this.” 
Jake adjusts himself back to his feet, tilting his head at Jay.
“Oh yeah?” 
“I mean, it’s not like she was into the whole being watched thing until I told her I wanted to try it.” Jay looks up into the sky, feeling the sun warm his face. “I liked it more than she did, but she came around, I never forced it or anything.” He breathes in the air and sinks lower into the water. “I think she did it to please me but she started getting really into it after a few times.” 
“She’s definitely something–” Jake starts, glancing at your figure flopping back on the sand and sinking your hand into a bag of chips. 
“Yeah, and I guess it’s my turn to let her try the things she’s curious about.” He laughs. “Even though it’s my fault and it involves my best friend. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that neither of you would do anything behind my back. ”
Damn. 
“Um, yeah.” Jake looks away for a moment. He knows he is famously awful at lying.
Jay looks at Jake knowingly. 
“Like, without me in the room at least,” He smiles, winking at Jake once before throwing a splash at him. “because I know what you guys did last night.”
Jake goes silent, wiping the salt water from his eyes and looking at Jay apologetically with burning pupils. 
“Relax, she told me while you were up there sulking. Said something about the danger of me finding out or something got her going, even though she knew that I caught on anyway.” Jay reassures, explaining away any explanation of Jake himself being the reason for it. “I get it.” He laughs this time.
“Should I like, have not watched?” Jake asks awkwardly, looking away from Jay and floating back a bit. 
“Nah, just give her what she wants. She’s gonna tell me regardless so let’s just try to have fun with this okay? If any of us are having issues, speak up.” Jay glares for a moment. “Because you know damn well I’ll put a stop to all of it if it goes too far.”
Jake nods, a small smile creeping up on his face. 
“What happens at the beach, stays at the beach.”
“God, I hope. I’m not moving you into our room at home.” Jay laughs, feeling a little better about it.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
A very sexually active trip indeed. Jake could sense the tension in the air by the time all of you return to the beach house. Even through dinner, he sensed both you and Jay staring at him in very different ways. Even though talking made Jay feel better, he’s still possessive over you and you seem to like it a lot . So, he might be playing it up a bit for your sake. 
You are quite literally eye-fucking Jake, and Jay’s eyes are basically demanding him to keep his cock under lock and key. It’s weirdly erotic, and insanely confusing, but he knows Jay will speak up if shit goes too far, just like he said he would. 
By the time the three of you are piled up on the couch and putting in some shitty romance movie, it gets a little more comfortable. 
You’re leaned up against your boyfriend and Jake is leaned up against the arm of the couch at the other end. He doesn’t feel eyes on him anymore and it’s a relief. 
By the time it’s mid movie, he notes the soft snores coming from Jay. You, on the other hand, are feeling mischievous. Jay said to you specifically, away from Jake, no limits . Do what you want to him, ignore the rules, explore, have fun– but be ready to stop at the slightest mention of discomfort from either of them. You’re being given so much fucking power over both of these men. They both want you , and god does it feel fucking amazing to be wanted. 
When you shift towards Jake, gently so that Jay isn’t stirred from his slumber, Jake finds himself leaning towards you without question. Even when you slide yourself under his blanket and grab his hand, he doesn’t falter. 
His attention to the plot on the screen in front of him surely falters though. You’re doing the thing again. You’re excluding your boyfriend and Jake can’t bring himself to give a single fuck right now because you’re quite literally slipping his hand into your panties without so much as a “please?”
Immediately Jake’s fingers explore against his better judgment. He’s seen your pussy stretched out on his best friend, he’s watched you orgasm, he’s heard you moan, but never has he gotten to touch you. 
“Mhm,” You encourage gently when Jake slides his fingers down your slit, collecting the slippery arousal and sliding his fingers back up to your clit. 
  You found yourself wondering how Jake would do it, especially the past day or so. Jay knew how to please you, but you can’t help but think that the act of someone learning how to please you is just as hot. Jake appears to know exactly how to use his fingers against a woman, the thought of him alone with someone other than you only heightens your pleasure at this moment. 
Jake does this for a while, silently and gently rubbing your clit as he forces his eyes to stay on the screen. You just watch him though, and the way he parts his lips in a silent moan when you press against his fingers with the smallest show of want . 
The secretiveness of it really gets you going. Seeing Jake turn to mush in your hands, doing anything you could ask him to do, right there while your boyfriend is sleeping next to you? God, what a fucking simp. You love it. You love the fact that his fingers are slightly softer compared to Jay’s, and the way he avoids sticking them in you even if you insist by lifting your hips slightly.
You lean towards Jake more this time, moving one leg over his lap and opening yourself up for more. 
“You should fuck me.” You whisper into his ear with a voice far too sweet for the words. “He won’t mind.” You add at his silence, feeling his fingers halt as he processes the words. 
“I can’t do that–” Jake whispers back, sliding his fingers down again and noting how much wetter you’ve gotten. 
“Want me to ask him?” You joke, grabbing his hand and holding his fingers right against your entrance. 
Jake shakes his head, feeling nervous as hell as his fingers rest in the one spot he definitely would love to fuck. 
“You’re no fun.” You sigh in disappointment, releasing his hand.
That makes Jake panic a little bit, the words of Jay mentioning that you will get bored with him eventually. It drives him to just—
“Brave boy,” You coo out at the feeling of Jake slipping his fingers inside of you through a panicked motion, sliding them in until you can feel his knuckles against your folds. You knew he would give you what you want.“Your fingers are long. Do you know how to use them, Jakey?”
Jake is fucking floored by the idea that his fingers are inside of you, you’re talking to him like this, and Jay is missing out on all of it.
Except he’s not. To Jake’s knowledge, Jay is in dream land. You, on the other hand? You’re very aware that Jay is terrible at pretending to sleep. Not only is he putting on this show for you, but he’s actually helping you. 
Kind of a shock, because you really did think he was asleep at one point. He blew his cover with a small smirk towards you, peeking an eye open at your shock of him resting a hand on your other leg and spreading it more in your attempt to get Jake to finger-fuck you. Jay wasn’t going to help out, but the moment he heard Jake reject you, he figured that his best friend can definitely be trusted in this situation. 
One of Jay’s favorite things about you is how dirty you can be, but never once has he seen you be more dominant over another person. Certainly not him. He finds it incredibly sexy in the way you both mock and talk down towards Jake even though he’s making you feel good. You don’t do that to Jay, you only moan for him. So yeah, maybe, going against his gut in this situation and allowing Jake to actually touch you is a bit hotter than he wants it to be. 
The best part? Jake doesn’t know your cues when you’re nearing orgasm, but Jay does and he uses that to his advantage. Spreading your leg out further so Jake can do whatever it is he’s doing with his fingers better. 
Jay softens at the fact that he would have already brought you to orgasm by now. Your soft mews sound more like you’re trying to fluster Jake rather than a reaction to pleasure, and it’s fun. It’s boosting his ego so high that he actually wonders how long it’ll take Jake to get you there. 
You feel just as boosted as Jay does right now. With his false sleep as he attempts to help you through this, Jake is half-focused on finger fucking you out of fear that he will be caught. It’s all well and good, but you want to cum. 
“Jake,” You whisper loudly, forgetting that you’re supposed to be pretending this is a secret. 
When Jake tries to pull his fingers out of you at the loud whisper, ultimately so he could pretend he was just watching the movie and absolutely not burying his fingers into his best friend’s girl, you hold his hand in place. Preventing his fingers from leaving you and you look at him. 
“Don’t stop.” You lean into him and whisper in a lower tone, rolling your hips forward against his fingers as you hold them there harshly. “You can make me cum this way, right? I promise I’ll be quiet, just pretend Jay’s not here.”
Jake looks at you, darting his eyes to the sleeping Jay next to you, and then he slowly nods with a nervous swallow. 
He wants to fuck you so bad, but this is all he gets. Still, it’s more than he anticipated and he will be damned if he embarrasses himself by not getting you off like this. Gently, Jake keeps his eyes on Jay as he moves slightly over you, getting a better angle with his wrist so that he can quite literally, fuck you senseless with his fingers. 
With one hand on the couch over your shoulder, the other between your legs, you watch him as his eyes continuously dart between you and your boyfriend. Jake can’t watch the screen anymore considering he’s now faced away from it, he has to watch you. If this truly was a high-stakes session of pleasure, surely the two of you would be caught like this. 
Thankfully, Jake doesn’t notice the very aware hand of Jay gripping your leg open, which makes it more sexy. To see him put your pleasure over his friendship with your boyfriend so willingly, to position himself in such a way that is far more telling than it needs to be, yeah, he’s a fucking simp. 
“Oh, fuck–” You choke out, feeling Jake’s newly angled fingers plunge deeper into you. His knuckle bumps against your clit easily when he does this and it has your entire body jolting a bit. 
Jake swallows that praise, pulling his fingers out and pushing them back in at a quicker pace. The sound of your pussy is not quite as loud as the movie on the screen, but all three of you can hear it. Even Jay has to hold back a small moan at how genuine you sounded just now. His grip on your leg becomes almost bruising as his own arousal stirs past a comfortable level. 
Jake’s eyes aren’t shifting anymore, you notice. As you stare up at him, he stares right back at you. Seemingly forgetting that he’s supposed to be hyper-aware of his surroundings right now. Instead, Jake is noting the way your body slightly shifts up when he harshly pushes his fingers in, to the point he could nearly imagine he’s fucking you.
 Except if he were, he would hope to have you moaning more, moving more, fucking yourself on him, using him. 
You can practically see Jake lose himself to lust. His eyes are dark, and his messy is hair falling against his lashes as if he were the one being fucked out right now. Internally, you feel such a large amount of endearment over him. 
You think back to when he fucked his fist in the car. He was showing an extreme amount of intent during that moment and it had your head fucking spinning watching him do it. You can imagine he must be hard right now. Jay must be hard too. If you wanted to, you could expose Jay for being awake and ask them both to fuck you right now, but you relent. Relishing in this power of having them both, one more unaware than the other. It’s too sweet to put an end to so quickly. 
As you look back up at Jake, you want to kiss him. Jay never said anything about that but you assume that could actually be crossing a line, so you don’t. Against your own wishes of wanting to keep this a secret, you lean yourself to Jay who still tries to pretend he’s asleep. 
Jake watches and panics, but can already feel you grabbing his hand and forcing him to keep pace. The fear that runs through his bones of being caught is fucking intense right now, especially when you lean your head into Jay’s neck and start sucking it.
You can feel Jake try to pry his hand back and you chuckle at it with an unstoppable smile against your boyfriend’s neck because, well, now Jay moves his hand to replace yours. Now he’s the one forcing Jake to keep pace.
Jake’s eyes widened at the realization, relaxing his hand against the unfamiliar grip on it.
“Wait–” He says in a raspy voice, looking between the two of you as Jay peeps an eyes open. “How long have you been awake?”
Jay drops the act with a motion of slamming Jake’s fingers into you one last time before removing his grip and now grabbing yours to place against his embarrassingly hard length. 
“The whole time.” Jay glares at him. “Too late to stop now, go on.” He encourages, wincing at the way you instantly grip him through his pants. “Do as she asked, make her cum.”
Jake feels embarrassed again. Despite technically not actually being “ caught” , he still feels ashamed of what he was doing, yet, his fingers are still in you. 
“Let me see if you can do it,” Jay continues, adjusting his body so that he can look down at what Jake is doing. “Move the blanket, baby.” He adds as he looks at you now. 
Shoving the blanket down, Jake notes how your hand is palming against Jay, and his fingers are inside of you. For some reason, Jay being hard makes him feel a little less ashamed but still embarrassed. How is he supposed to perform under pressure like this?
“Stop looking at us like that. If you’re not gonna continue, I'll finish her off myself – without you, ” Jay half-insults, half-encourages his best friend. 
Jake moves his fingers again at that, the realization of being given permission washing over him so quickly that it almost felt like an orgasm running through his body. He can do whatever he needs to do to make you come. He doesn’t have to hide it, it’s not a secret. 
Without a second thought, Jake pulls himself off the couch and stands to his feet to get between your legs. He looks between the two of you one last time and then down at your pajama shorts. For the first time without asking, Jake pulls them off of you in one swift motion before falling to his knees and examining how wet you look, pulsing around the loss of his fingers. 
“How does she look?” Jay asks with a quirk of his brow, bucking his hips up against your hand and tilting his head to kiss you on the temple. 
Jake says nothing but swallows in response, forcing himself to focus on you and pretend that Jay isn’t there studying the way he fucks his fingers back into you. 
When you let out a small whine at his silence, rolling your eyes the same time you roll your hips, Jay chuckles and reaches to pull his own pajama pants down. If you three are gonna be doing this, might as well have fun with it. 
Jake ignores it still, using his fingers to spread your lips and watch your hole continue to clench around nothing when he slips his fingers back out. Even without seeing your face at this moment, he can see how much you want this. Your glistening folds are practically begging to be fucked by one of them, if not both. He makes haste, watching as your pussy envelopes three of his fingers at once now, clenching them so tightly that he can feel them crowd together inside of you. 
You whimper at it, rolling your hips forward to sink his fingers further into you. 
“Can I lick her?” Jake asks, not moving his eyes from the way he can see your slick drip down his fingers. 
”Please?”
“Does she want you to?” Jay counters, also not moving his eyes from the way your fist circles the head of his cock before sliding back down and making him shiver.
You don’t even answer, and instead use your other hand to reach for Jake’s head, gripping his hair that’s in reach to you and dragging his face forward until you feel his breath on your clit. 
Jake takes that as an invitation, instantly flattening his tongue against your swollen bud and sliding down. You can feel his fingers spreading you open, reaching into you so deeply as you begin to feel his tongue trace around his fingers at your entrance. 
You moan, which makes Jay turn his face and lift your chin as if to shut you up from showing pleasure towards another man. You find that sexy, cute even, so you reward your boyfriend and reassure him with a harsher grip against his cock, milking him of his precum and chuckling into his mouth.
Jake doesn’t even care about what’s happening on the couch. He’s on his knees in front of you, tasting you, fingering you, and he genuinely thinks this might be heaven. He can feel his own length adjust in his pants, happy that the loose fabric accommodates the growth to full hardness. Jake already knows he’s not going to be getting off tonight by anything other than his own hand, and he does not give a shit about it. 
He licks against you as if you are the last woman on earth, honestly, and Jay can’t even bring himself to be in competition with Jake at this moment considering how much attention you’re giving to him and not Jake. This could work, surely, he’s never seen you so horny over a simple handjob before. 
  You roll your hips against Jake’s mouth repeatedly, chasing your high as he continuously tries to accommodate every spot of your pussy that needs stimulation. 
“He’s good at this–” You choke out, reaching to grab Jake’s head and hold him in place against your clit. You can feel his fingers pick up speed when you do that, and you can feel the vibrations of his groans against your clit even more.
“Oh yeah?” Jay laughs in a breath, darting his eyes to see Jake’s shoulder flexing as he fucks into you, his hair a mess between your fingers. “Better than me?” 
You shake your head, eyes sparkling up at Jay as he finally leans down to whisper to you.
“Are you close? You seem close–”
You nod this time, rolling your eyes back a bit when Jake intentionally licks circles around your clit and pumps his fingers painfully fast into you. 
“Don’t tell him,” Jay warns, fucking himself against your now loosened grip. “Do you want me to take over?”
You say nothing back but Jay can see your body tense. He makes haste, jumping up from his spot and practically shoving Jake out of the way to get between your legs. 
Jake doesn’t even know what’s happening, the loss of your warmth around his fingers and the taste of you gone all too quickly as he watches Jay bottom out into you in one go. His best friend’s fingers replace what his tongue was doing, and Jake watches the way you lay breathlessly against the couch. 
Now is his time, he guesses. Reaching one hand into his pants, he shows no shame in using his slick-coated fingers to furiously slide up and down his length at a pace he wishes he were fucking you at.
There, on his knees, Jake pushes and pulls himself to the edge in time with you. He watches your face and watches the way your hands grip against Jay as he fucks into you at a pace that looks painful. The sound of slaps in the room coming from all three of you, finally, you come undone. 
He watches the way you hold Jay’s hips in place, burying himself into you as you quiver around him, and only then does Jake let out a choked moan, coating the inside of his pants with strings of thick, milky cum. 
Just as quickly as you hit your climax, your eyes lazily fall to Jake as he sits out of breath, wet spots staining his pants as Jay continues to chase his own high. 
  The two of you look at each other for a long moment. You can’t help but feel that he looks entirely sexy when he’s spent and empty of his arousal. You don’t sense a hint of disappointment in his eyes as he looks back at you, breath uneven, not at all bothered by the fact that he’s not the one fucking you.
Except he is bothered by it. He felt like he came so close to making you cum, all for Jay to step in and take over. Still, that’s your boyfriend. Jake feels lucky enough to even be part of this. And by the time Jay finally gets himself off, all three of you just look at each other. 
“So,” Jay sighs, out of breath. “She tastes good, right?” He smiles, proud of himself for not letting Jake make you come.
You playfully slap him with a laugh, shuffling from the couch and standing to your feet. You examine the wet spot from where you were being fucked open by both of them and smile at it. 
“Let’s go shower, again.” You sigh, grabbing Jay’s hand and dragging him to the bathroom.
Jake is left sitting there, still on his knees, processing what just happened. 
He could get used to this.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
By the third night, Jay is geared up and ready knowing full well that Jake has already touched you and he’s going to have to share tonight if your words are anything to go by. If you’re asking him to let Jake fuck you, it’s gonna have to be his way. 
Your eyes sparkled when Jay agreed in the silent morning as Jake slept like a fucking rock in the bed across the room. 
“Don’t worry,” You assured him. “I love you, I’m just having fun.”
“ I know.” Jay responded to you, silently and looking back at you. 
He didn’t worry so much about it after last night, anyway. He got more into it than he thought he would, and the competition of it all got both you and Jay off. Jake appears to be having fun too, and staying aware of the fake-ass boundaries the two of you set for him.
“Tonight?” You look to Jay and nod as you head off for the kitchen in an attempt to make something to eat for both of them.
“Tonight, if he’s willing.”  Jay confirms, ultimately stirring Jake from his sleep. 
“Good morning, you can sleep. She’s gonna make some food since we got her off or something.” Jay says towards Jake after you disappear from the doorway, lifting his arms and stretching his body out. 
“What were you guys talking about?” Jake asks half asleep as he hears your footsteps towards the kitchen fade away. The sleep in his voice is heavy and he clears his throat as he rubs his eyes. 
 “Nothing much. She wants to play a game later.” Jay tries not to ruin the plan. 
“Oh yeah, like what?” Jake sits up, reaching for his phone to check the time. 
“Probably monopoly or some shit.”
Jake notes that Jay appears to sound bored of the conversation, so he doesn’t push or pry any longer.
“We going to the beach today?” He asks now, somehow not feeling awkward at all about last night. It almost feels normal now. 
“Yeah, probably after we eat. Wanna go help her with me if you don’t plan to go back to sleep?”
Something inside of Jake swells up at the invitation from Jay to help you do mundane things. Boyfriendly things. As if the two of them are your boyfriends, and not just Jay.
 “Gonna brush my teeth first.”
Jay nods, giving Jake a tired smile as he heads off into the kitchen after you.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jake isn’t sure if he’s thinking too hard about it or if he’s getting his hopes up. He’s a lover, not a fighter, and very much willing to share you if the two of you offered to involve him in the relationship with more than just sex. Cooking in the kitchen with the two of you made him happy. Jay was clearly in boyfriend mode, guiding you by the waist when you were wisping from one end of the kitchen to the other. Jake was also kind of in boyfriend mode, though the two of you probably didn’t catch on. It’s not that he’s trying to intrude, it’s just that, he kind of has a hard time fucking a woman and not having feelings after the fact.
When Jake said you looked pretty, Jay didn’t falter even a tiny bit at the compliment. Instead, he smiled at Jake with a nod because of fucking course you look pretty. And when Jay gave you a light kiss to the lips as you stirred something in a bowl, Jake found himself wanting to do the same. He knows he can’t though, so he keeps to himself in this little unsure bubble of what the two of you feel towards him. 
The food was decent, save for the fact that none of you have stepped foot in a grocery store and are surviving off of what you brought in a cooler from home. Jake could tell some of the vegetables were wilted and needed to be cooked, thankfully, none of you enjoy letting food go to waste so that’s why you’re stuck eating it this morning. 
It’s comfortable. Too comfortable. Especially when Jake takes it upon himself to do the dishes despite always arguing at home about doing them. Jay finds himself in a strange kind of headspace too. Lightening up about the idea of Jake being around and touching you, but also, like, still being possessive because you're super into it. If Jake was anyone else, Jay doesn’t think this trio thing would work out as well. Still, this is a conversation for after the trip. 
  By the time the three of you are at the beach, you make a show of yourself for both of them and anyone else who happens to be looking your way. If tonight goes anything like you want it to, you need them to be absolutely feral for you by the time the sun sets. 
It works for the most part. Ghosting your hand over Jake’s cock under the water, blatantly grabbing Jay’s out in the open just to see him buckle under the arousal of it being in public. You feel on top of the universe as their eyes go from bright to dark and full of arousal as the day goes on.
When you part from both of them, heading back to the shore in order to find a bathroom somewhere, the two of them stay behind. You do your best in giving those two alone time too because surely they need to talk or something.
That, they do. 
“She’s doing all of this on purpose, you know.” Jay laughs, wading in the water beside Jake. “How are you feeling about it?”
Jake shrugs, avoiding the incoming wave and lifting his chin with a wince. “I’m feeling less weird about it now, I guess.”
  Jay nods, looking at him and studying his expression. 
“She wants to fuck you.”
Jake can’t help but smile. He has no words to respond to what Jay just said. 
“Shockingly, I kind of want to see her do it.” Jay splashes Jake as if he’s mad, but stands back as his best friend wipes his eyes. 
“Yeah?” Jake’s eyes are beaming despite the redness of the saltwater hitting them, and Jay just stares at him.
“I don’t know man, I’ve never been into this kind of thing. Sharing, and such, but like–” Jay tries to explain, searching internally for a reason as to why he should hold onto the annoyance of sharing his girlfriend. “I don’t know.”
Jake tilts his head, looking at him. 
“It’s kind of fun?”
Jake nods this time. He’s still getting the short end of the stick but he literally couldn't care less. 
“I like watching and I like when you let me touch her.” Jake admits, glancing away and breathing in through an embarrassed wince over what he just said.
For some reason, that sentence arouses Jay. “When you let me touch her.” Jake is really giving full power to Jay to control a sex life that isn’t his and it’s embarrassingly sexy to be given that power over another man. He’s not entirely interested in Jake sexually, but he is entirely interested in Jake’s sexual interest for his girlfriend. Interested in controlling it. 
“This is going a lot further than we ever intended it to.” Jay comments, sinking himself lower in the water and thinking intently on what’s going to happen after the three of you get home. “Guess we will see what happens.” 
Jake quirks an eyebrow. 
“If I asked you to fuck her, would you?” Jay continues, in his head, about why he feels like all of this is okay to him now.
Jake narrows his eyes, wondering if it’s a trap but ultimately nods. 
“I mean, yeah, if you both told me to.” 
There’s the control again. Jake blatantly gives it up just to get the smallest taste of what you share with Jay. 
“And you wouldn’t do it behind my back? Like, be real with me right now.”
Jake knows he would probably be too weak to say no to you. He thinks you know it too.
“What makes you think she would go behind your back anyway?” Jake counters, challenging Jay’s trust in you.
And then it all makes sense. You wouldn’t go behind his back for anything that’s not agreed upon. You’d tell him everything, you’d involve him, or you’d at least ask if you can fuck his best friend behind closed doors. 
It all feels like it’s falling into place too perfectly, and that’s the only uncomfortable thing about this. Jay looks at Jake and then shifts his eyes over to the shore, where you’ve come back from your adventure to the bathroom. 
“Nah, you’re right.” Jay assures himself, standing back up and waving over to you. “Just keep in mind that she’s my girlfriend and I’ll be the one to make her cum.”
Jake is well aware that you’re not his, Jay doesn’t have to rub it in.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Though Jay never explicitly stated that Jake would be able to fuck you tonight, it became increasingly obvious as the day went on. Even as you blatantly touched him in front of Jay, he would simply avert his eyes from Jake and carry on with whatever he was doing.  
By the time the three of you got back to the house, Jake had to fucking fight himself to not jerk off in the shower. Clearly you were wanting to have fun again tonight if the sheer amount of touching throughout the day is any indication. 
The showers from all of you went by far too quickly to ignore as well. Jake thinks he beat his record speed of being out and dressed in under six minutes. You and Jay, opting to shower together, made Jake think the two of you would go in there and fuck behind closed doors, but even that didn’t happen as the two of you were leaving the bathroom in under fifteen minutes. 
Now, the three of you are in this beach house away from a city that is far too familiar to you. The air feels electric but also slightly awkward. You don’t know how to start, Jay certainly doesn’t know how to start, and Jake simply needs the green light to make his attempt at whatever the fuck is supposed to happen. It’s a knowing kind of look that the three of you share as you head into the bedroom one by one. Jake doesn’t know if he should get onto his own bed, or yours at this point considering he hasn’t exactly been told what’s supposed to happen. 
He didn’t have to think too hard though, as he trails in behind Jay who guides you to your own shared bed with him. Jake stands there in silence, watching the way both of you pat your hands on the bed as if to invite him in. 
“Shit, this is really happening?” He asks, almost wanting to cover his ears and cringe at the way he breaks the silence. Jay nods to him silently.
“If you want it to?” You ask, scooting closer to Jay and feeling him move a hand to your thigh. 
Jake is careful when he makes his way to the bed, glancing at both you and his best friend as if the gig would be up soon and you’d both start laughing at him for believing that this is happening. Instead, though, you adjust yourself and your boyfriend on the bed as Jake makes his attempt to find a space to claim for himself.
Now lying on your back, head on Jay’s lap as you both watch Jake, he sits himself awkwardly on the side of the bed and stares forward. 
“Bro, why are you all shy? You literally ate her out last night.” Jay laughs, trying to blame the nervousness all on Jake despite not knowing how to get the ball rolling himself at this point. Then, he’s reaching forward and over you to spread your legs out. Your bathrobe does little to hide the lack of material underneath, already bare and ready for both of the men in the room. 
“I don’t know–” Jake argues, glancing over at you and instantly drawing his eyes to what’s beneath the robe. He tries to look away with a gulp of whatever the fuck he was going to say next, but ends up double taking at the view of you being presented to him by Jay. “I’ve never done this before…” He trails off, voice coming to a whisper as he shamelessly stares and the arousal begins to take full hold of his body. 
You shift your hips a bit, as if to grind yourself against nothing to show that just like him, you can be desperate too. 
“Fuck,” Jake sighs out, shifting his body fully onto the bed and facing you. “I–”
“Go on.” Jay encourages, noting the way his friend is practically drooling at the image of you in front of him like this. Proud of himself for having a girlfriend so fucking alluring.
“Should I just,” Jake stops, looking at Jay and avoiding eye contact with you. “touch her? like, what are my limits?’ 
Jay honestly doesn’t care what he does as long as you want it but, what he’s damn sure won’t happen is Jake getting head from you. He can eat you out all he wants but your mouth is to never be on him in any way, shape, or form without being told to do it by Jay himself. 
“Help him out.” You comment, flicking your head back a bit to look at Jay from under your lashes. He smirks at you and responds with a small nod. 
“Remember, you can just tell us to stop if you change your mind.” Jay directs towards Jake as he leans forward and pulls him closer to you by his arm. 
Jake falls a bit, on all fours right between your legs as he stares down at your folds. He says nothing in response to Jay, now lost in the world of getting to taste you again and wondering how many more times he will be granted permission to do this. 
“Stick your tongue out and use it, Jake.” Jay demands in a slightly…off tone? One that seemingly makes fun of Jake for not having touched you yet. 
Jake listens, granting Jay a nice little ego boost as he hums from behind you at your sharp inhale when Jake kisses against your clit. Still, this is going to happen his way and if Jake thinks he can eat pussy well, he’s about to learn.
Jay leans forward, your body leaning with him as he harshly grabs Jake’s hair, pressing his lips against you harder, guiding his head up and down. “Stick your tongue out more–” Jay demands again, gripping his hair harder.
Strangely enough, Jake allows it. He sticks his tongue out the moment Jay demands it, and allows himself to be guided by the hair against your pussy. He groans out against you, tasting you again despite it not being of his own free will. Would Jake prefer eating you out the way he wants to? Absolutely. Does the feeling of having his head guided between your legs also kind of get him off? Oh, fuck yeah. All he has to do is imagine it’s your hand doing it. 
You, however, watch as Jay pulls Jake up, still by the hair, and looks at him. 
“Tongue fuck her, I’ll take care of the rest.” He says, releasing Jake and watching the way he sinks down between your legs again. 
Making it easier for him, you prop your legs on his shoulders, ultimately boxing Jake in against your wet and glistening hole. It isn’t long before you feel his tongue circling, inserting against your walls. It’s not a lot to go off of, but god he looks so good between your legs like this. The image only gets better when Jay unties the loose knot of your robe and pinches against one of your nipples, his other hand going straight to your clit and rubbing it just the way you like. 
“Can you cum like this for him?” Jay asks against your ear, holding you against him with his hand still playing against your nipple. “Let him really taste you?” 
You nod to him with a moan, shifting your hips as if to fuck yourself on Jake’s tongue. Each pinch against your nipple sends a sensation straight to where you’re being stimulated the most, and yeah, you can definitely cum on Jake’s tongue if he keeps trying to reach as deeply as he is now. 
Jay’s fingers are expert when it comes to your body, he could have you falling apart right here, right now if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. He watches, instead, the way you tighten your legs around Jake’s head to pull him in closer. The way his best friend doesn’t even come up for air is laughable, but he gets it. 
It’s the fact that for the first time, Jay kind of enjoys the idea of a man touching what’s his, solely because he can see how badly they want it. Knowing that he, himself, can do it whenever he wants and they can’t.
When your boyfriend rubs your clit faster, it has you chasing Jake’s tongue harder , and when you chase Jake’s tongue, he makes a point to lick every crevice you have to offer in order to entice moans and groans of his name from your mouth. 
When you start to tense up, Jay knows exactly what it means. He lurches forward again and pulls Jake away from you, reaching back just as quickly to rub your clit harder.
“Watch her cum,” Jay smiles, abusing your clit just the way you love it until your legs are shaking and falling from Jake’s shoulders. “Keep your tongue out.”
“Shit–” Jake sighs out, watching your cunt drip out its continuous orgasm. Without any indication from the two of you, he takes the risk and dips back down, tongue lapping up the mess of your arousal and humming against your folds in a beautiful and desperate mantra.
“Oh god–” You choke out, jolting from the sensitivity of his tongue toying with you, Jay continuing to press your orgasm further, not relenting even as sensitivity takes hold. 
Jake licks up every single bit of it and Jay watches him, feeling you continuously quiver in his grasp as you come down from the high. 
“Now, fuck her.” Jay smiles knowingly, looking down at you and the way you already look dazed.
Jake shoots his head up to look at Jay, instantly he’s nodding and practically throwing his pants off. A true desperate show of how much he wants to be inside of you. 
Both you and Jay examine Jake when he pulls his cock out. You’ve seen it before but never in its full glory. He’s big. 
Jay glances down at you with an ‘are you sure you wanna do this?’ look and all you can do is chuckle and wiggle your hips as if to entice Jake to fuck you so senseless that Jay appears to be jealous again. It wouldn’t take much, really, because Jay is jealous right now. He needs to make damn sure you know that his cock is the only one that can make you scream, regardless of length, or whatever. He’s still thicker than Jake is.
Jake watches the two of you share looks and instantly gets a bit shy, doesn’t change the fact that he’s gently jerking himself off in preparation though.
“Condom?” Jake asks, obviously.
“No,” You say, nudging him closer again with your leg. “Im on the pill and you live with us, I know for a fact that you haven’t been fucking around.”
More shy now, Jake averts his eyes as he shuffles his way closer, all the way until he can feel his cock pressed against your leg. In one last attempt before he goes off the deep end, he looks to Jay for approval and is granted it almost instantly with a nod. 
He slides in, painfully slow in your opinion, but to Jake it’s like he’s trying to feel each ridge, clench, and wall around him as he does it. You wince only a little at the size, taking a deep breath and grabbing Jay’s hand when he bottoms out. 
Jake attempts to let you adjust, but it doesn’t go as smoothly as he wants to because the second he pulls his hips back, he’s slamming into you with a force he didn’t even know he had. The sounds you let out as he does this has Jay going fucking insane, you can feel his cock against your back continuously twitching as Jake fucks into you. 
Only when you keep your eyes on his best friend does Jay move from under you, replacing himself with two pillows as he stands at your side. 
“Stop looking at him like that,” He demands, lowering his pants enough to let his cock spring free and in front of your face. “Look at me.” He continues, stroking himself as he stares down at you.
This is what you want. You want them to fight for your attention right now. Thankfully to Jay, Jake is in his own world, head thrown back as he continuously plunges into you with the obvious need of a man who hasn’t had sex in months. 
You stare up at Jay then allow your eyes to fall to his pulsing and raging length in his hand, without hesitation you open your mouth for him.
“Good girl,” He praises, setting his cock on your tongue and allowing you to feel the weight of it before he slowly slides further into your mouth. “How does it feel to be fucked from both ends?” Jay asks with a bit of a demeaning tone. “Is it everything you ever wanted?” He asks again, this time sliding further down your throat before taking hold of your head and holding it in place. 
You have no reason to answer his questions, because he already knows the answer judging from the sound of how wet you are. He can fucking hear it. 
“I bet it is.” He continues through a sigh, effectively fucking your mouth open much like his best friend is doing to your pussy. 
One thing Jake doesn’t seem to catch onto is the fact that both you and Jay are talkers during sex. Jake, not so much, so when your mouth is gagged by a cock, he has no choice but to listen to Jay talk to you. 
Jake’s hips stutter only slightly when you gag around your boyfriend, all because that gag appears to travel down your body. Your cuntclenches him so tightly that he could honestly start crying right now if it wouldn't end with him being made fun of. 
So fucking tight, practically choking him out by the cock. 
“Do that again–” Jake pleads, gripping your legs and spreading them away from his hips. He angles himself a bit more by placing both hands under your ass and pressing into you again, this time stilling his hips so he can feel your walls jerk him off. 
Jay smirks, not knowing what the fuck Jake is referring to. 
“Do what again? Gag her?” He asks, jolting his hips forward and again sliding down your throat.
 You gag, and your pussy constricts.
“Goddamn, yes, that.” Jake chokes out in a sigh, trying to press his cock into you even deeper. 
Jay looks down at you and the way your eyes start to glisten with tears. He knows they’re good tears, especially with the way you try to smile around his cock. 
“So dirty,” He compliments, sliding out of your mouth and wiping a tear from your cheek. “This okay?” He continues, knowing you like it, but he still needs to get that confirmation considering this is new to all three of you. 
You nod with a moan and a deep breath, grabbing his drenched length and sinking it straight back down your throat. Jay seethes a string of curses when you do that. You’re too fucking good at deep-throating and it’s driving him up a fucking wall how hot you are right now. 
Being fucked open is one thing, but being fucked open from both ends is another. Even with Jake practically cockwarming himself in you, you can feel how rock hard he is with each twitch and aroused pulse, his length consistently putting pressure against your g-spot. God, you feel so full.
Jay elicits gags from you again, pulls out so you can breathe, and then goes right back to fucking your mouth at his own pace. Jake, on the other end, has since lost all form of self control with your last gag. You’re dripping around him, clenching him so fucking tightly, he can’t help it when he grips your ass firmly and essentially gags you himself with how hard he begins to piston his hips. Even Jay is thrown off by the way you stop sucking and your mouth goes slack.
He slides out of your mouth, listening as a drawn out moan of Jake’s name comes from your lips. 
“Look at her–” Jay glares, forcing Jake to slow his hips and look at you. “Look at how good you’re making her feel.” He adds again, only slightly more aroused than he is threatened by your expression. 
Jake is looking, watching as your eyes fall to him and you buck your hips up as if to ride yourself on him. 
“God, please Jay, can she ride me?” Jake loses composure, slipping his hands out from under your ass and grabbing your waist. 
Jay doesn’t even get to answer the firm “no” he was intending because he can see you look at him with pleading eyes just like his best friend. It sucks to have all of this power but still not be able to say no to those pretty fucking, tear stained eyes when you look at him like this. What’s worse?
The way Jake is looking at him is arguably…just as fucking hot.
And so, Jay bows his head in approval and wonders when the fuck he became the third wheel in his own relationship, that is, until you sit yourself up, push Jake back, and settle yourself on his thighs. 
You don’t move as you look at your boyfriend, your pleading eyes now turning to concern as he stands by himself off of the bed. For some reason, it comforts him. 
Jay smiles at you softly, kind of like a small confirmation that he’s doing just fine, and then moves forward to further that confirmation for you.
“She takes it so well, right?” Jay averts his eyes to Jake, getting behind you on the bed and settling down with his cock in hand. “Go on, ride him, baby.”
So you do, rolling your hips forward and backwards in a way that has Jake slipping in and out of you with ease. He can feel you drip onto his legs and honestly, he’s in fucking heaven right now as he places both hands on your thighs and stares directly at his cock disappearing inside of you. 
It’s a shame really, considering being ridden is one of Jake’s weaknesses. 
“Can I cum in her?” Jake blurts mindlessly, his hips attempting to fuck into you despite your weight on him keeping his hips down. “Jay, please? Can I cum in her?” 
His questions come out frantic, pleading for the ability to release his control and absolutely let you fuck him into oblivion, but he waits, now halting your hits from moving as if to contain the load he’s about to release without permission. 
“What if I say no?” Jay laughs, gripping his cock and watching the way Jake twitches inside of you. 
You move your hips again, a small chuckle lightly coming out alongside Jay as Jake hits rock bottom and somehow spirals further down. 
“Shit, shit!” Jake groans, urging you to lift up a bit as he painfully begins to slam into you.
Jay can hear his cum seeping out of you with each plunge of his cock, he can see it spurt out of you and down Jake’s legs. God damn it’s way hotter than he anticipated it being. 
Without a second thought Jay is pulling himself up and positioning himself behind you. He doesn’t say a word as he presses the small of your back forward so that your tits press against Jake’s face, and prods his cock at your entrance. Right there beside Jake, he slides in with an uncomfortable stretch. 
“This is how you fuck my girlfriend.” Jay groans, feeling your pussy hug around his cock and his best friend’s. He can already feel Jake going soft from the recent orgasm, but he doesn’t relent. Jay starts moving his hips regardless, fucking Jake’s released load back into you with an impossible stretch.
Honestly, Jay is on cloud 9 listening to both of you whine and moan. Neither of you stopping him, and even Jake finds the sensitivity of his cock being fucked against as insanely pleasurable as it is painful. 
You’re staring down at Jake when you slightly lift, and he’s looking up at you as Jay continuously stimulates you both. At this moment, you’re both in this together and Jay has full control. Deserving control, you think. Smiling at Jake, you drop your head to his neck and start talking. 
“You felt so good,” You praise him, moaning at the way Jay slams into you. “Can you get hard again?”
Jake simply nods because he cannot, for the life of him, think of words right now. He’s already feeling his arousal coming back to him. Even Jay feels it, in the way his softening cock manages to get hard again within mere minutes. He’s never been able to get hard again that quickly, but then again, Jake was practically pussy starved so he doesn’t question it. 
The fit inside of you grows tighter and tighter as Jake’s cock wakes up to the overstimulation, all the way until all three of you are wincing at the drag of Jay continuously fucking into you. The sound of moans, slick, and heavy breathing is all that can be heard when Jake moves his hips at an opposite rhythm of Jay. 
“Oh, fuck yes–” Jay moans, throwing his head back and looking down at how stretched open you are with two cocks stuffed inside of you. “You’re doing so good, so fucking good–” He babbles on, praising you, or Jake, he doesn’t even know at this point. 
Overstimulated, his cock feels as though your cunt has a death grip on it as he continues to squeeze along size Jake’s length, your wet and sore walls clenching them so tightly that Jay barely has to move at all to feel like he’s fucking the daylights out of you. 
Jake’s small thrusts only push the orgasm to the edge for both you and Jay. The head of Jake’s cock drags alongside Jay’s with each thrust and it has him nearly gasping for air when his orgasm hits him.
Jake hasn’t stopped moaning since Jay fit himself into you, nor have you. Who has control in this situation? Not a single person, not even Jay, as he frantically bottoms himself out and shoots his cum against the impossibly tight space inside of you. Jay’s orgasm ignites yours, your g-spot having been stimulated this entire time, you nearly squeeze so hard that they both are forced out of you, but they fight the sensation, continuing to bury themselves into you through your high.
Pained gasps drag on and all you can feel are fingertips both clawing and squeezing at you when you release around them, squeezing both of them tighter, and tighter, until Jay has no choice but to slip his spent cock out of you. 
You slump over instantly, your walls fitting themself back around Jake’s still hard length inside of you.
Jake struggles to orgasm again, unsure of if he has any cum left after the first one, so he pulls out of you the moment Jay shoots a look at him, as if to tell him to stop. Still in his aroused state of mind though, Jake practically shoves you back onto Jay as he works himself up to whatever orgasm he has left by his own hand. 
It takes a moment, but you feel his second load hitting against your thighs not long after and all that’s left to do now is assess the damage.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
There was no damage. Even as Jay apologetically begs you to tell him the truth. To tell him he went too far, or was too rough. You liked it, and you hate that you have to convince him of it. 
“You sure you’re okay?” Jay asks, kissing you once on the back of your neck after you nod with a dazed smile. “And you?” Jay averts his eyes to Jake, who is sprawled out regaining his breath at the foot of your bed.
“I’m great, actually.” He says, looking over to Jay with a dopey kind of smile. 
“You’re both insane.” Jay finally releases a breath of relief, realizing how much you and his best friend have in common sexually.
It’s…weirdly endearing, making his heart swell at the way both you and Jake look at him expectantly. Like still, he has control over all three of you. 
“You didn’t like it?” You ask, and Jake nods along with your question to look at Jay.
“Of course I fucking liked it.” 
“Then what’s the issue?” Jake asks, sitting himself up now and pretending he doesn’t get a headrush almost instantly. 
Jay thinks hard about it. Is there even an issue? Did he ever expect to actually share his girlfriend with Jake this way? Of course not, but it doesn’t change the fact that all three of you enjoyed every bit of that. Plus, Jake doesn’t appear to be super competitive and listens to everything Jay says to do. 
Who wouldn’t be turned on by that kind of control anyway?
 ・・・・・・ EPILOGUE  ・・・・・・
Jake has become a constant fixture in your sexual relationship with Jay now, but he doesn’t step out of line much to Jay’s pleasure. Even now, months down the road from the beach vacation, all three of you came to terms with the fact that Jake wants to stay, and so do the two of you. 
Rent is split three ways, you’re split two ways, but you get it all. Truly, you feel like you have the best end of this bargain. Even now, Jay tends to have more private sex with you as if to avoid constantly living in the world of kinks and pushing boundaries. You enjoy it. You love sharing moments with him without Jake around, and even when Jake does walk in on it, he doesn’t stay most of the time because now, when it’s meant to be for all three of you, Jake is blatantly invited. He knows now that any sex he isn’t aware of isn’t for him, despite it being the complete opposite from before. 
It’s a comfortable kind of thing. Even if the three of you don’t talk about it outside of these walls, it’s what you like, it’s what they like. Even Jay has loosened up a bit more about you and Jake together. It’s not like you’re dating him, but your boyfriend has actually implied you go busy yourself with Jake when he’s exhausted or too tired to fuck you himself. If anything, when you do go and busy yourself with Jake, Jay usually ends up watching anyway. 
“Jake,” Jay says from across the room after yet another session of cuckolding his girlfriend and best friend. “I hope you know that she’s still my girlfriend and I will always be the one to fuck her better.”
“You’re really gonna say that after I just made her cum twice before you even got your cock out?” Jake laughs. 
“She’s my girlfriend.” Jay glares but Jake can see his smile.
“I know. You keep her happy.” Jake drops the playful act and decides to genuinely let Jay know. 
“Unfortunately, your cock is required for her happiness sometimes.”
“No, his cock is required for fun. You are required for my happiness.” You interject, reminding them that you’re literally still in the room, heaving from your third orgasm.
“And that’s why this little arrangement works out.” Jay agrees, lifting himself to kiss you. “Only I get your love and affection. Jake just gets 30% of your orgasms.”
“10% of yours too, apparently.” Jake shifts his eyes to Jay.
Jay does remember the few times he’s let Jake fuck you and grew so aroused by how you act with his best friend in contrast to himself, that yeah, he guesses he can give Jake and his huge cock some credit for making him cum a few times, but really, it’s because he’s seeing his girlfriend stretched out and cock stupid, definitely because they both whine in unison over him. 
At the end of the day, it’s cute, especially because Jake can still never fuck you as good as he will. You may be cock-stupid for his size, but you’re cock-drunk for how Jay works it inside of you.
And so, it appears that Jay is in a happy relationship with you, a healthy one. One where he’s perfectly comfortable cleaning his best friend’s cum out of you.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
1K notes · View notes
toruro · 8 months
Text
— ✧ cry for me
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i want you to cry, cry for me (twice)
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pairing: lee chan x reader
description: in which you're holding back tears in a cute little restaurant because you spilled wine all over your lap, and chan is holding back a raging boner.
a part of the crybaby series (can be read as a standalone)
genre: smut (18+ / mdni), fluff, ft mingyu for a second
tags: tattooist + tattooed chan, crybaby reader, established relationship (they're so cute it's disgusting), dacryphilia, oral (m receiving), wall sex, petnames (baby, crybaby, princess), chan has a chest tattoo and i think that deserves it's own warning
w/c: 5.1k
a/n: i am a woman of my word: i finished it tonight! thank u to @rubyreduj iand @gyuswhore for looking this over for me when i thought i was going crazy. anyways, i hope u guys missed me actually writing. writer toruro is BACK!
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Pretty and short satin skirts are saved for nights like these. Under the dim glow of the moonlight and stars, the soft fabric falls loosely over your soft thighs and the beautiful curves of your hip. The cool night breeze pinches at your skin as you shuffle toward your boyfriend, hugging his arm that’s already linked with yours even closer to your chest.
Chan hums when you press your cheek against the cool leather of his jacket, “What is it baby?”
“‘m cold,” you mutter, pressing your legs together in an attempt to preserve what little warmth you have left. In hindsight, wearing this skirt probably wasn’t a good idea knowing that it’d be on the chiller side tonight but still, you couldn’t help but want to doll yourself up.
“Here,” Chan says, and you nearly whine when he pulls his arm away, but the complaints die on your tongue when he takes off his jacket and slips it over your shoulders, leaving him in his short-sleeve shirt.
“But—” you protest, running your fingers over his bare arm and frowning, but Chan cuts you off before you can speak further.
“Wear it baby, it looks nice on you,” he says casually, holding his arm out so you can wrap yourself around it again and hold him close. You feel warm, partly because of the protection that Chan’s jacket provides but mostly because of the way your body flushes with heat at his affectionate words.
The two of you are standing outside of this restaurant that you’ve been aching to try for ages, waiting for your names to be called in. As you settle back into his hold, Chan pulls out his phone holding it at an angle so the both of you can read the messages on the screen when he scrolls through your friends’ group chat.
“You wanna go to Jeonghan’s place tomorrow?” you ask, noticing Jeonghan complaining about being bored since Jihoon never leaves his room. Chan nudges your head with his own affectionately before shrugging.
“I’ll go if you go.”
You frown. “Well do you want to?”
“Baby if you want to, then I want to,” Chan says with a chuckle. “And anyways—”
“Chan! Table for two!” the voice of the hostess from the entrance of the restaurant calls out, and the two of you perk up. Chan raises a hand and nods, gently tugging his arm out of your grasp and instead slotting your hand in his, pulling you to follow after him inside.
The hostess greets you kindly, and you’re thankful that indoors is much less cold and much more inviting as she takes you to your table where you and Chan sit across from each other.
“What were you saying?” you ask as you settle into the seats, slipping off Chan’s jacket and handing it to him.
He only holds his hand out, palm facing you, and shakes head with a smile. “Keep it. Anyways, I was saying that I’ve been meaning to talk to Jeonghan for a while since he said he wanted to get a tattoo done.”
Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head at that as you carefully drape his jacket over the back of your chair, scooting forward. “No way! Jeonghan always told me he’d never get a tattoo ‘cause he’s scared of needles.”
Chan laughs and his eyes light up. “Didn’t you say you were scared of needles? Look at where you are now …” he murmurs, eyes glossing over the little crescent moon on your arm, and then the small star that he had the privilege of pressing into your wrist just a few weeks earlier.
You shift in your seat and shyly nod. “Yeah but … that’s different. I think I might’ve chickened out of the last part if—” Your breath hitches in your throat and you stop yourself from finishing what you were about to say. If he hadn’t fucked you in that tattoo parlor right there and then, is what you both are thinking.
Chan grins at the way you grow flustered at his words before changing the topic. “I like this top, is it new?” he asks, eyes glossing over the blue, knit shirt that you put on for him just an hour earlier.
“Yeah! I got it to match the skirt—I’ve had this one for a while though, but it didn’t look nice with any of my tops I had until now, so I was really excited to finally get to wear it,” you tell him with a grin, hands smoothing over the satin and brushing over the plush of your thighs. Your stomach fills with a wave of giddiness when Chan smiles at you and nods.
“I’m glad. You look really pretty,” he says, reaching over and grabbing your hand. His gaze doesn’t falter, eyes on you as you continue to tell him about how you thought the shirt was sold out when you found it online you cried (Chan remembers; you called him with choked sniffles at midnight and almost hung up right away out embarrassment but he assured you that it was okay), rubbing a thumb over your skin as you speak.
You two fall into conversation naturally after that, waiting for your food to come as your fingers intertwine and sit in the middle of the table comfortably. The waiter starts off with your drinks—a wine for you each—before bringing out the appetizers.
Things go smoothly as they always do: the food is amazing and the setting is perfect, Chan’s hand grazes over yours ever so often and his eyes are on you in a loving gaze—everything’s going great, actually.
So maybe that’s why you let it get a little to your head when you hear the clanking of glass against glass.
It happens so quickly—the sound reverberates through the room and you blink once and then twice, looking down to find the growing wet spot on your cute little skirt. The feeling of wine against your skin hits you next, and when you look to your right and see the apologetic look of the waiter as he scrambles for the glass on the ground, it sinks in.
Fuck, and there it is again—that ugly feeling that clogs your throat and the furious blinking of your eyes as you try your best (you really, really do try your best). Chan knows it all too well, the way you press your lips together and try not to quiver as you reach down and try to help the waiter.
“What the hell man?” Chan exclaims, standing up from his seat in an instant to walk over to you, his eyes set as a hard glare on the waiter as he observes the growing stain on your precious little skirt.
The waiter stutters for a moment, reaching forward to dab a napkin over your lap, but your boyfriend stops him midway, swatting his hand away. “Watch it—” Chan peers closer at his name tag as he snatches the napkin from the waiter’s hand, “—Mingyu. You’ve done enough.”
“I-I’m sorry,” the waiter, Mingyu stutters out, holding the dropped wine glass behind his back as he shuffles away.
Chan glares at him hard as he presses a hand against your back, and if your vision wasn’t already so blurry you might have been intimidated by how intense the gaze was. Instinctively, you turn your face towards his figure as you feel other customers’ eyes over the little scene unfolding at your table. “C-can we go?” you ask him quietly.
It doesn’t take him more than a second for Chan to turn to Mingyu and mutter, “Just get us the check. We’re leaving.”
Mingyu nods bashfully and scurries away, but you don’t really notice because you’re chewing down on your lip as your boyfriend pats your back and leans down to watch you apologetically. Fuck, you feel so pathetic for crying over this but you can’t help it! You really can’t!
You’ve been looking forward to this night for so long and have been planning this outfit for even longer, and now that both your night and your pretty little skirt are ruined, you swear you can’t stop the tears from falling.
Chan hates it when you cry. Well, that’s a lie. It’s a fickle thing, really—the anger that bubbles up inside of him whenever he sees your eyes red and brimming with tears isn’t directed at you—fuck no—but rather whatever (in this case, whoever) caused it in the first place.
So yeah, you could say Chan hates it when you cry, but then again, he finds it cute when you call him, sniffling over your favorite croissant being sold out at that cafe down the street you always go to. He hates when you waste tears over things like this, but he also knows you can’t help it, and there’s something oddly endearing about the way you always lean in to his touch for comfort. After all, you’re his sweet girl, and he loves all of you; the parts of you that cry over seeing a kitten struggle to cross the street and the parts of you that sob when he’s shoving his cock into your warm cunt.
All of it, he loves all of it.
So maybe that’s why Chan can’t help but get a little bit lost in your puffy, glossy eyes when you look up at him and silently beg for some comfort. He knows it’s an innocent gesture, and when he runs a hand down the side of your cheek and you nuzzle into his palm, he almost feels guilty for the way his cock begins to strain against his pants.
You’re just so cute, and Chan swears he can’t control himself. He can’t ever control himself when it comes to you.
Using the napkin he snagged from Mingyu just moments earlier, Chan leans down and swipes over the wetness on your thighs, soaking up as much of the red liquid that he can. It’s kind of hard to think, honestly. He watches your tears mix with the wine on your lap, and while his fingers brush over the plush of your thighs, he starts to lose himself entirely.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Chan tries to tell himself because really, he should be focusing on taking care of his sweet, sweet girl and wiping away her tears but here he is trying to not think about the massive hard-on he’s got going on beneath his pants.
Mingyu stops by with the check, frantic with more wipes as he cleans up the ground as Chan pays the bill. You quietly slip on the same leather jacket Chan gave to you just half an hour earlier as he helps you get up from the seat, cringing at the way your wet and stained skirt feels against your legs.
With his hand closed around your wrist, your boyfriend leads you to the exit but you keep your head down bashfully. You feel the gazes of other customers on your back as you two make your way out of the restaurant, and the cold night air is a stark contrast to the way your body burns with embarrassment.
Once finally outside and standing by the parking lot, Chan takes a moment to look at you. You’re still biting down on your lip like it’s the only thing you know how to do, eyes trained to the ground as you tighten your fingers around him instinctively. He senses something is bothering you—something other than the fact that your meticulously planned outfit was ruined on such a whim.
Nightly zephyrs pulse against his skin and Chan glances down at your slightly shaking legs, realizing that they are now wet and exposed and probably feel colder than ever. “C’mon baby,” he urges, tugging you towards his car, “Let’s sit inside.” Silently, you comply and follow behind him, slipping into the passenger seat and sighing contently as you escape the chilliness of the night.
He watches you as you click your seatbelt on, sinking into the seat when that familiar clenching of your jaw and furious blinking of your eyes takes over your features. “Oh baby,” Chan coos, shuffling closer to you so he can plant a hand on the back of your neck. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks as you bury your hands in your face in a fruitless attempt to muffle your sniffles.
“I—” You stop because your voice comes out all ugly and distorted. “—I was s-so excited for tonight,” you admit honestly, calming down a little as Chan’s hand runs up and down your spine soothingly. “And then I just—I ruined it.”
“Baby, what are you talking about?” your boyfriend asks, tapping your cheek so you finally look up at him. Your cheeks are a little puffy and your bottom lip juts out in a pretty pout, and Chan brushes a thumb over the wet skin. “You didn’t ruin anything—it’s all that prick Mingyu’s fault. We can go to my place and still have fun,” he suggests, and although he means it to be a thoughtful gesture—something like takeout and ice cream—he can’t help but fantasize about some other definitions of fun.
“But—”
“No buts baby. Except, maybe yours,” Chan tells you with a playful wink, his heart swelling when you manage out a giggle between your harsh breaths. He starts to pull himself away from you when he senses a lightening of your mood, and so slowly, he starts the engine.
You settle into a comfortable silence as he starts the drive back to his place, and even though he’s mainly focused on keeping a smile on your face, Chan really can’t ignore the relentless ache in his pants.
After all, how could he when you insisted on keeping his hand on your thigh? “Wanna feel you,” is what you said when you guided his fingers to settle over the soft flesh, and Chan has half a mind to think it’s in an innocent gesture—his sweet girl just wants to keep him close—but he also knows you.
Chan knows that beneath all the soft whimpers and hot tears is a girl far more observant than you let on, and he’d be stupid to think you didn’t notice the tent in his pants earlier.
Maybe he’ll make you pay for that, he thinks as he parks in front of his apartment building, but when you shyly slip out of his car and keep your head hanging low as your eyes glaze over the big red stain on your skirt, Chan thinks otherwise.
Again, he can’t ever control himself when it comes to you.
Any thoughts Chan might have had about teasing you until the world’s demise wash away when he closes the door behind him as you both walk into his apartment. He knows you get a bit needy when you’re upset but still, he wasn’t really expecting you to turn around and sink into his arms the second the lock clicks shut.
Your cheek is pressed into his chest as your arms circle his firm torso, and from above, Chan can see that your eyes are pressed shut. The base of your stomach is pressing into his crotch and fuck, he can’t tell if you intentionally shift against him because your face looks so sad but then again, there’s no way you’re doing this without thinking.
Still, Chan shoves away the filthy thoughts that he really doesn’t think he should be having and wraps his arms around your shoulders, placing a hand on the back of your head. You’re not sure how long you guys stay like that, and despite the ache that burns between both of your legs, it’s a comforting few moments—his fingers in your hair as you pull him closer to you.
You need a distraction, you’ve realized. Something to really cry about.
Being with Chan over the past few months has taught you that, in the best way possible, your tears really mean nothing unless they’re falling because of him. Maybe it’s the thought that prompts you to finally pull away and pout up at him.
“Channie,” you whimper and fuck, Chan knows those eyes. You know he does.
“What is it baby?” he asks, gazing down at you so intensely that you know he isn’t even bothering to hide his lust anymore. He holds your cheek with a hand, thumb stroking over your soft skin for a moment before crashing his lips onto yours.
Chan kisses your breath away. Teeth nipping and sucking against yours as your tongues melt in a hot mess when he presses you into the wall. Looming into you from above, his grip on your face remains tight as he guides you deeper into his mouth, crotch pressing into your lower stomach.
It’s dizzying, almost. Kissing Chan always is.
It isn’t long before you’re pawing at his chest as you struggle to keep up with his intensity. Your palms ache for his skin, and having your fingers run up and down his firm arms just isn’t enough. When Chan pulls his lips away, your eyebrows furrow and your bottom lip juts out into a pout.
“Off,” you mumble, weakly tugging at the hem of his shirt, and usually Chan would play with you a little longer, make you beg a little harder, make you really work for it, but he feels that you’ve already suffered enough.
Swiftly, he pulls the tight shirt over his head, revealing the firmness that lay beneath the fabrics, and fuck, you think you might just pass out on the spot—you’ll never get sick of seeing him like this.
“Like what you see baby?” Chan chuckles, but he already knows the answer from the way your eyes zone in on the symmetrical pattern that adorns his upper chest.
“Always …” you mutter, wrapping your arms around his torso and pressing your body close against his as you start to place kisses all over his skin. Shy and sweet is what your lips feel like, skitting over his chest as Chan watches you in admiration; your tongue traces over the dark curves, eyes fluttering shut as if you’ve already got it memorized by heart (you probably do).
His hands start to thread in your hair, pressing against your scalp until he’s fisting the strands and tugging your head back. Chan’s mouth meets yours in a hot mess—your own saliva’s already smeared all over your chin and cheeks, and the mix of tongue against tongue and teeth against teeth is only adding to the sloppy kiss as he backs you into the wall.
“Baby,” he whispers into your mouth before beginning to trail rough kisses down your jawline and over your collarbone. He sucks blotchy, red marks into your soft skin, fingers kneading at the flesh of your waist when you start to press your lower half into his. “Baby, you drive me fucking crazy.”
You wanna scream and say ‘ditto’ but the only sound that escapes your lips is a choked moan when he shoves a thigh between your legs and presses against your core. The ache is like a fire, burning through your veins and blooming all up inside of you, making your tummy tumble and your eyes roll to the back of your head as you clamp your bottom lip between your teeth.
Grinding against him, your skirt rides up your thighs revealing the pretty white, lace panties hidden beneath, and Chan’s breath hitches in his throat. Something buzzes in his head and it’s like a rush in his ears—his hands shoot out and are all over your tits.
Gripping the soft flesh over your pretty little shirt and matching lace bra underneath, and soon you’re scrambling to get all this fabric off of you. “So pretty baby, so pretty,” Chan breaths out when he steps away from you a little, dropping his knee as you toss your shirt and bra to the side. He grabs your chin and uses his fingers to squish your cheeks together as you look up at him dreamily. “You’ll suck Channie off, right baby?” he coos, and you feel your legs grow weak at the sickly sweet touch to his tone.
“Yeah-huh,” you pant, inching closer to him as you start to drop to your knees, hands immediately making their way to the waistband of his dark jeans. Chan doesn’t help you with the belt—he enjoys watching you fumble with the leather, pouting when it doesn’t come out as easy as you’d like.
Once you finally work your way around it, you’re unbuttoning his jeans and yanking them down to reveal the bulge that strains against his boxers. Without a second thought, you lick his cock over the fabric, eyes lazily looking up at Chan who watches you expectantly.
“You know what to do baby,” he tells you, and so you comply, hooking your fingers under the elastic band and tugging his boxers down. When his cock springs out, it lightly slaps against your cheek, precum smearing all over your already wet cheeks.
Chan thinks you look so beautiful like this, shiny cheeks marked by his heavy cock that starts to make its way between your lips with the guidance of your hands. Soft fingers play with the base of his length as you swipe over the tip your shy tongue and fuck—you look so hot when you stare up at him like that, like you don’t know all the depraved things Chan wants to do with you.
You start off with kitten licks—lapping at the precum that’s dribbled all over the pretty, prominent veins that adorn his cock, and pressing your tongue flat against his bulbous tip. Chan runs a hand over your hair, resting his palm against the crown of your head at the end and gently pushing you forward.
You whimper as you start to take more of his length into your mouth, the underside dragging against your tongue, and you move one hand up to wrap around the base of where your mouth can’t reach, using the other hand to cup his balls.
“Jus’ like that,” Chan mumbles, watching you struggle to take him deeper, shoving his fat tip to the back of your throat as far as you can, tears pricking in your eyes, before pulling back to take in a heaving breath. “Good job baby,” he urges you on, when you open your mouth again, taking him down your throat again.
Your jaw aches as you repeat the motion, tears dripping down your cheeks, over your chin, and onto your soft thighs. Every time his cock pushes to the back of your throat, a few more drops fall, and soon Chan starts to take the lead, directing the movement of your head with his grip on your head.
And it feels so fucking good, the way he’s a got a firm grip on you, the way his cock stretches your mouth open so nicely—so you can taste all of him—the way he’s muttering curses amidst the murmurs of praise; “Yeah baby, feel’s so fuckin’ good.”
It’s got even you rolling your eyes to the back of your head and all you can think is Chan, Chan, Chan, and he can think about is you, you, you—and suddenly, he’s pulling his length out of your mouth so quickly it has your vision going white.
“Gotta cum w’me, princess,” Chan instructs over the rush in your ears, grabbing your wrist and gently tugging you to your feet. You’re slightly light-headed, stumbling forward from all the movement, but Chan catches you gently with a soft chuckle. “Easy baby, easy,” he murmurs, smoothing one hand over your head and kissing your aching lips softly as he once again presses you into the wall.
You make out sloppily for a few moments, your arms wrapping around his neck, tongues melting into each other as Chan tastes himself on you. His hands are playing with the zipper of your skirt, and with a soft gasp into his mouth, he pushes them down to pool at your ankles. “Leg up baby,” he tells you, tapping your hip with one hand so you get the message.
Hastily, you lift your thigh, involuntarily groaning against Chan’s lips when his big, rough hand plants itself on the underside of your thigh, helping you wrap your leg around his torso. His cock’s prodding right against your leg now, and you swear you can feel how painfully hard he is, swear you can feel him straight up throbbing against you.
“‘m so wet Channie,” you sigh helplessly, slotting one hand between your parted legs and swiping your fingers over the slick that drenches your thin panties. With slippery hands, you mindlessly reach for Chan’s cock, gently nestling the thick length against your clothed core.
“Oh fuck,” Chan groans at the contact, jutting his hips further into yours to increase the friction. His pelvis is flush against yours, and the stimulation of his skin against your clothed clit along with his cock sliding right by your folds is dizzying. “Makin’ a mess already, huh?” he says, shoving the fabric of your panties to one side to reveal your dripping cunt.
Quickly, his fingers are all over you, sliding between your slickness and thumb rubbing circles into your clit until you’re whining and fuck—Chan hardly gets to stick one finger into your tight cunt before you’re almost on the verge of tears again—
“Channie, need your cock now,” you cry out, hands pawing at the tattoo over his chest. “Can’t wait—need it no—oh.” The last words die on your tongue when Chan shoves his fat tip inside you. “Oh Channie—feels s’full,” you moan, your head falling back and hitting against the wall as he continues to slide his full length against your walls.
“Yeah princess?” he mutters, leaning forward and kissing your shoulder blade after he fully bottoms out inside of you. Your cute little cunt is screaming from pleasure, erupting flames all over your skin as you struggle to adjust to his size. Chan can see it, the way you’re already trembling, standing leg quivering as you try your best to not crumble into him, try your best to not give in right away.
You always look so cute trying when you know you’re gonna fail anyways.
Without warning, Chan drags his cock out slowly, and when you look at him with those glossy eyes and flushed cheeks, he can’t help but slam right back into you with a force that throttles you against the wall.
“Fuck,” you whimper, running one hand up Chan’s arm, tracing the curves of his biceps before finally gripping onto his shoulder tightly.
“You feel it princess?” Chan asks you softly when he drags out of you again before pressing you into the wall with another harsh thrust.
“Yeah-huh,” you nod dumbly, using your free hand to run your palm over your lower stomach. “Feel you all the way here Channie,” you moan when he shifts inside of you so his cock is hitting you even deeper. “Fuck!” you cry out when his pace starts to speed up, the tears that lingered in your lash line already starting to drip down your face.
“My pretty baby’s crying already …” Chan coos with a mocking pout, grip on your waist tightening so much you feel you’ll have bruises the next morning. “That’s it princess … cry it out—I know you wanna,” he eggs you on once he leans in, fingers ghosting by your earlobe.
“Can’t help it,” you choke out, finally letting the soft sobs pleasure erupt from your throat, head falling against Chan’s shoulders. “Feel so good Channie—can’t help it—’m sorry, I—”
“Shh,” Chan hushes you with a particularly harsh trust, pressing so close to you that his pelvis is once again bumping against your clit. “Don’t apologize … you look so pretty … pretty crybaby. That’s what you are, aren’t you? My crybaby?”
“Ye-yes!” you mewl when your legs start to shake more rapidly.
“Yeah … yeah—fuck,” Chan huffs when you clench down on him, and your walls are so tight around his length that you’re starting to wonder just how much longer you can hold out for.
“Can’t have anyone seeing you like—fuck—like this,” he moans, gripping your thigh tighter and tighter as he starts ramming into you so fast it’s punching the air straight out of your lungs. You’re wailing into his skin now, teething at his neck as your whole face is covered in a hot and sticky mess, fingers running all up and down his chest.
“Only thing you should be crying over is me, okay baby? You got that?”
“Uh-huh,” you whimper, fingers sinking into his skin as you feel that familiar wave of pleasure well up in your stomach. “Only yo—oh fuck, Channie ‘m gonna cum s—fuck!” you gasp out, hiccuping over your own tears as the waves crash down.
Your legs go limp as Chan’s cock drills into your warm cunt, the combined arousal dripping down your thighs and onto the floor (you’ll have to clean the ground later). His fat cock is battering against your tight walls roughly, fluttering walls pressing down on every vein, every curve of the length.
“There you go princess, cum f’me,” he grunts as he secures one arm around your waist, digging your back deeper into the wall so you don’t fall over as he starts to ride out his own orgasm against your pulsing walls.
Watching your blown out eyes and swollen lips, tear kissed cheeks and disheveled hair, Chan feels his own eyes rolling to the back of his head when your overstimulated pussy clamps down on him, squeezing out every last drop of cum. Painting your walls white, the sensation of Chan’s cum filling you up has you whimpering and mewling into his neck as he starts to loosen his grip.
“Fuck princess … made such a mess,” he mutters, looking down at the sticky mixture that rests where his softening cock meets your cute cunt.
“Hmm,” you hum, letting your wobbly legs drop to the floor once his cock flops out of your slippery, cunt, nuzzling into his tattooed chest. Giggling softly, you wrap your arms around his torso and look up at him with a lazy grin, “I forgot why I was crying earlier.”
Chan smiles, holding your cheeks with both his hands to press a chaste kiss on your lips. “That’s my girl.”
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crybaby series masterlist
a/n: thank u for reading, i hope u enjoyed >_< pls feel free 2 leave comments / rbs if u did! i know i took horrendously long 2 pop pt2 of crybaby :[ I'M SORRY guys not 2 ramble but i have been in a writing slump recently and this is the only thing of decent length and decent quality that i have produced in the span of two months so c: i am happy w how this turned out! i'll try my best to get the 3rd and final part of the series a little bit quicker, but no promises :3
taglist pt1: @synthetickitsune @ixayjun @leejihoonownsmyheart @dahliatopia @gyuswhore @hoeforcheol @5xiang @hajimelvr @miriamxsworld @lixiel0ver @josefines-things @mimisxs @kawennote09 @bbyjjunie @rubyreduji @todorokiskitten @98-0603 @hipsdofangirl @minnie-mouser22 @minhui896 @whippedforjihoon @seokchannieworld @nishloves @woozarts @ellesmoon @blurryriki @maknae00 @hanniebanggi @peachyaeger @shoulietaro @1004luvangel @dnylwoo @dollyhaes @gyulune @wonranghaeee @tsukkisboo @cheolism (strike through could not be tagged)
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chastiefoul · 1 year
Text
regret | alhaitham
a/n: a very messy drabble based on some idea that popped into my head. basically about a y/n who's very in touch with their feelings vs alhaitham handling those feelings (to nobody's surprise, it didn't end well)
tags: angstyyy
part 2 here
1.5k words
to say that you get along with alhaitham would be a stretch.
anyone would agree that your interactions consisted only of you always pestering him and alhaitham barely tolerating it. this causes amusement but also worries, you both being the polar opposites and all.
the arrogant and cold scribe versus the bright and cheery you. there’s a line, a wall if you will; that made everyone wondered, how long would the strange dynamic last before something eventually went wrong.
and it finally did.
hanging out with kaveh is something of a routine, with you studying the same subject; architecture. people were always naturally drawn to you, kaveh wasn’t the exception. you both get along with each other pretty quickly, and he’s been a close friends since. you even got to know alhaitham through him.
alhaitham said once, that you both were pretty similar albeit with different words—or to quote him as he spoke with such exasperation, “archons, now there are two of them.” still however alike, he quietly also thought there’s a key difference, a very apparent contrast that he couldn’t help but notice, even he didn’t try to.
you and kaveh both were very in touch with your emotions, meaning all of your actions often solely driven by feelings. although with kaveh he wasn’t ashamed of this, always stating clearly—or unnecessarily,  if something had upset him. but you on the other hand chose to hide that displeasure, masking it with an uncertain smile, one that’s clearly forced. as though wanting to halt any further argument. that somehow infuriated alhaitham.  
everyday you would always greet him without any care in the world. even though every conversation you had with alhaitham, somehow always turned into something he had to won, that he had to have the last word. he also couldn’t figure it out himself what got him so worked up every time he talked to you.
“kaveh, don’t you think alhaitham is a nice person?” one a peaceful lunch you asked. he shot you a disgusted look, as if the question had offended him. “are you in your right mind?” he quickly retorted. “well despite him looking so fed up and all that, he still talk to us, doesn’t he?” you played your food with your fork. “... and that’s why he’s ‘nice’? dear god the bar is in hell—no it’s even below the devil’s foot itself.” he sighed, really couldn’t believing his ear. what got you so infatuated with him anyway? in all honesty kaveh was having a hard time remembering if there was ever a time where alhaitham was nice to you, he only recalled your cheery attitude getting shot down by alhaitham’s apathy every single time.
wait. he knew what this is.
“you like him.” kaveh suddenly said. you couldn’t turn your head to him any quicker. “what?” you panicked. “you heard me. now i just need to hear you admitting it.” there’s a playful smile on kaveh’s face, he’s teasing. “you won’t, cause i don’t.” you said, trying hard to be calm while eating your food. “mmhm,” kaveh hummed knowingly, an annoying smirk plastered on his face. “you know what? i don’t have to listen to this, i’m leaving.” you pouted, gathering your stuff. “yes, and you know what your in-denial self should listen to instead? me.”
“shut up!”
“good morning, alhaitham!” you greeted him per usual with high energy. he hummed a reply, acknowledging your presence. when you just lingered there showing no sign of leaving he sighed. “how many times do i have to tell you my office is not a playground where you can hang around however you please?” he asked, preparing to sort out the documents from the fresh pile that just came. “i was just—nevermind that, do you need any help?” you asked with a smile. however the harmless question just tick something unpleasant inside of the scribe, he knew you meant well, truly he knew that. “do i look like someone who’s incapable of doing my own job?” he questioned in a cold tone.
“of course not! i just thought since i was a little free-“
“right. you thought, that never went well though, did it?” the viciousness was out of nowhere, you were caught off guard.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you narrowed your eyes at the harsh words—like he was saying that you were some kind of an idiot. he was always ill-tempered towards you, but he didn’t need to be this harsh over a mere offer to help.
alhaitham could feel he was being unreasonably mean, but he just couldn’t stand it. your useless kindness, your warmth, your concerns over his well-being all of these were so strange for him and his initial reaction was to reject and mock them. alhaitham felt like he was above it, it was too troublesome. he was fine living up to this point without the concerns from other people, and he was sure as hell he wasn’t going to start not being fine without it anytime soon.
 “why do you always think i need help? or do i need someone to remind me when to have my meal, or telling me to be conscious of my sleep schedule? frankly, it made me very uncomfortable,” once he started he felt like he couldn’t stop. alhaitham was mad, but if someone had asked him why he also wouldn’t be able to find the words to explain. he just was.
“well excuse me for trying to look out for my friend!” you raised your voice.
“friend? i never once thought of you that way,” he said. that shut you up real quick. the confession left your mouth agape, your chest ached. just what you are to him then, for the past half-year? but then when you think about it again, when has he exactly treat you as if you were something more of an acquaintance? in the end it was on you to assume, but it still hurts nonetheless.
in the brief silence alhaitham found the answer as to why was he so aggravated every time he talked to you.
alhaitham was blunt, he was ruthless in commenting on things that are out of place according to him. he was arrogant, often thinking that he’s above everything else, this include his way of life. a life of solitude; without the need of other people. but then you came, and his principles was shaken. alhaitham was a lot of things, but none would say that he’s fickle. yet, his rage right that second was a living proof that perhaps alhaitham was never the winner of those meaningless conversations he had with you. that truthfully, you already had him at the first good morning greeting you had given him with a bright smile.
and that is alhaitham’s hardest pill to swallow. you, a single person managed to make him almost change his entire life principles he had believed his whole life. and that’s as terrifying as it is infuriating to him. he couldn’t let you sway him more than this.
after what felt like eternity you finally responded.
“there’s a limit to being heartless, don’t you think?” you weakly said, you don’t even know what you were hoping for as a reply honestly. “there’s also should be a limit to your groundless assumptions.” he didn’t even look at you as he said these things, which perhaps good since you seriously couldn’t hold your tears anymore.
you had never believed rumors about people, as you will never know the truth unless you verify it yourself. but there, standing quietly as your tears wet the floor; there was no denying it anymore, alhaitham was indeed a heartless man who has zero empathy towards other living being.
“maybe i was wrong about you, alhaitham.” you smiled sadly.
it’s better this way.
“you were. now if you don’t mind, i have work to do.” he stated firmly, meaning: get out. which you will do gladly once you said your piece.
“it’ll do you good in the future to not be so driven by your emotions,” he still thought he was in a position to lecture you.
“yeah? and it’ll do you to good get off your high horse once in a damn while, you’re not fucking better than everybody else, alhaitham.”
“maybe so, but i certainly know i’m above acting solely over any emotion i’ve felt in the moment. i stopped doing that after i turned six, actually.” to think he'd mock you for crying.
“fuck you, alhaitham. enjoy your ‘alone’ time, i hope it stays that way forever.” you walked away from his office, swearing to yourself that it will be the last time you set foot on that damn place. alhaitham rarely see you frown, and to see you that angry and he was the cause of it.. silence got the better of him, the insides of his chest was swirling, he wasn't sure what to feel.
when your footsteps was finally out of hearing, alhaitham brought his palm to his face, his emotions getting the better of him. he saw the the hurt in your face, it was beyond saving. there’s nothing he could possibly say or do to get you to forgive him. and that was his intention of course, to get you to hate him. but he never thought he’d be ready for that.
alhaitham days quickly returned to the monotous routine. a quiet cycle, he thought he loved that. it's easy to realize that he did not anymore.
he's already so used to you. he kept waiting for you every morning, maybe if he wished hard enough you’d forget everything and just came back like nothing happened. but those days didn’t come, the memory quickly turns into anguish but more than that, regret.
aside from his ego, perhaps this regret is also something he would take to his grave.
-
part 2 maybe??
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larluce · 3 months
Text
Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU
Tagging @stalesaltinecracker cause he asked for more, and @an-entity-i-think since she made a valid question
ENLACES A LAS OTRAS PARTES DE ESTE AU AQUÍ: PARTE 1 , PARTE 2 , PARTE 3 , PARTE 4 (estás aquí), PARTE 5
In "Valiant"
Arthur: (Impacient and worried cause Merlin hasn't told him about Valiant's echanted shield yet) Is there something you want to tell me?
Merlin: (who decided to not tell Arthur about the shield this time around so he won't embarrased him again) No.
Arthur: I know something is bothering you.
Merlin: Nothing is bothering me.
Arthur: (hurt) Don't you trust me? (thinking) Have I not been worth of your trust again?
Merlin: Of course I trust you! Arthur, I trust you with my life!
Arthur: Then tell me what's wrong! Why were you sneaking out of Valiant's chambers yesterday?
Merlin:(cursing internally that this Arthur somehow is more observant, but still says nothing)...
Arthur: Merlin, please.
Merlin: (puzzled and touched Arthur is saying "please" to him and he finally sighs, giving up cause he always hated lying to Arthur anyway) Valiant's been cheating, he has a magic shield.
Arthur: (hiding his relief Merlin finally told him) Why do you think that?
Merlin: I saw it. The snakes coming out of his shield. Gaius thinks Valiant used them to posioned Sir Ewan. But I don't have any proof, I get if you don't believ-
Arthur: I believe you.
Merlin: ... really? But I'm just a servant, I'm not-
Arthur: (fondly, holding Merlin's hands) Don't ever say that again. You're more than a servant to me. Always.
Merlin: (getting lost into his eyes, blushing)
Merlin: (snapping out of it) Ahmm... Then what will you do?
Arthur: There's not point in bothering my father with this without proof. Now that I know what I'm getting into, I'll know what to look out for.
Merlin: (smiling confident, cause he has the spell to expose Valiant prepared) I'm sure you'll beat him up easily.
In "The Mark of Nimueh"
Merlin: (going to the cavern alone to fight the Afanc himself, a torch in hand) Arthur?
Arthur: (doing the very same thing, a torch in hand as well) Merlin?
Merlin: What are you doing here?
Arthur: I was... strolling.
Merlin: In the vaults underneath the castle?
Arthur: It's my castle. What are YOU doing here?
Merlin: I was... taking samples.
Arthur: Taking samples.
Merlin: Yeah, apparently the sickness is spreading through water. So I was taking samples to find out with Gaius what's causing it.
Arthur: The well is several meters behind, Merlin.
Merlin: Ah... I got lost.
Arthur: (rolling his eyes) Only you, Merlin. (taking Merlin by the wrist) It's not safe for you here. I'm getting you out. (starts walking)
Merlin: (trying to free from his grip) What? No! I need to-
The Afanc roars, making its appareance.
Arthur and Merlin: Shit...
In "The Gates of Avalon"
Both Morgana and Merlin looking Sophia from afar.
Morgana: Who is that?
Merlin: (kind of mad he couldn't prevent the sidhes from entering the castle again, but hiding his discontent) Sophia Tirmawr. Arthur rescued her in the woods.
Morgana: She can't stay here.
Merlin: Well, she and her father are guests in the castle now.(seeing his chance) You had a nightmare about her?
Morgana: (surprised) How do you know about my nightmares?!
Merlin: Gaius.
Morgana: Right... (sighs) You must think I'm crazy.
Merlin: I don't. I also have a bad feeling about her.
Morgana: Really?
Merlin: It just seems pretty convenient. Escaping from raiders in Tír-Mòr? A kingdom too far away to corroborate any of that story? I don't believe she is who she claims to be.
Morgana: (opening up, feeling safe and understood by Merlin) In my dream she drowned Arthur in a lake. I'm scared, Merlin. My nightmares always come true. Always!
Merlin: I already warmed Arthur about her. He gave her the chambers far away from his. But I think you should talk to him about this.
Morgana: (laughs dryly) No, he won't believe me. He'll laugh at my face for sure. (thinking) And he's been too cold to me lately for some reason.
Merlin: There's no harm in trying. He might surprised you. (thinking) If this Arthur is nicer to me, he'll defenitely be nicer to her.
Morgana: Alright, I'll try.
...
Morgana: Arthur, I need to speak with you. It's about Sophia.
Arthur: (Who spied on her when she threatened Sophia in the hallway and still doesn't know how to feel about it) You're starting to sound like Merlin. Do you have a bad feeling about her too?
Morgana: She isn't what she seems.
Arthur: Why? What makes you say that?
Morgana: I just... have a feeling. It's difficult to describe.
Arthur: Try me.
Morgana: I had a dream. A nightmare. She drowned you in a lake. She killed you, Arthur.
Arthur: And why would that be a bad thing?
Morgana: (confused)... what?
Arthur: Don't you want me dead, Morgana?
Morgana: (horrified) No! Of course not! Why would you say that?
Arthur: (shakes his head) Nothing. Forget I said anything.
Morgana: (firmly) No. Arthur, listen to me. (holds his face and Arthur forces himself not to flinch) I don't know what's happening in that head of yours, but let me get this straight. I love you and I care for you. You're like a brother to me. I would cut all my limbs before letting anything happen to you!
Arthur: (with teary eyes, but forcing himself not to cry) You're just saying that.
Morgana: It's the truth.
Arthur: (his voice almost breaking) So you don't hate me?
Morgana: What made you think-(opens her eyes wide in fury) It was her, wasn't she? She put that idea in your head! (starts stomping out of the chambers)
Arthur: (stops her) Hey! Where are you going?
Morgana: I'm going to kill her! No, first I'm going to drag her by the hair through all the castle to let her know what happens when you mess with people's minds!
Arthur: (Shocked for a second at Morgana's thirst for blood and revenge not being drawn at him, but for him. And then he laughs, laughs and laughs)
Morgana: Why are you laughing? (starts to question his sanity, worried) Are you Okay?
Arthur: (stops laughing and smiles) Yes, I am now. Thank you.
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yuyu1024 · 2 months
Text
Fate
Pairings: Yoongi × y/n
Genre/tags: Arranged marriage
Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 mention of blood/violence/drugs/trafficing, trauma, mention of killing, kidnapping, gun, mention of food/eating/weight, cursing, sensual touching, making out smoking, smut (but not this chapter)
~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 5.2k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
Note:
Part 1 - Prisoner
Part 2 - Escape
Part 3 - Twilight
Part 4 - Fate
A/N: again... im really sorry for being a slow writer/update for this mini series🙏🏻 i can't help it. 😭 I do get msgs asking for updates & i feel bad... so sorry 🥹 I try my best to have time to get into the story/characters whenever i have free time. I work full time and have a 2nd job too so it takes all my energy. I'm really... really sorry.😭
But yeaah, thank you for everyone liking my yoongi fanfic. 🖤🫶🏻 thank you for the patience😭
I hope this chapter is okay ♥️
****
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(Prologue/Flashback)
"Sshh..." she covers your mouth for you to stay quiet and not make any noise. She reminds you constantly to keep it together or else they will find you. "Just a little bit more, Yoongi." She whispers. "Calm down..."
You try your best to do what she says because you want you guys to survive this. To escape. However you are a kid and you are terrified. And you can't stop yourself from shaking like a twig. Also you are rapidly breathing through your nose. Tears even start to fill your eyes as you look into her eyes.
"You'll be fine..." she says to you. "Noona, will protect you."
"I'm scared..." You whisper grabbing onto her long braided hair.
You two are a few inches apart. If she could only embrace you, she will. However there are metal bars between you two and she is.... injured.
"Me too." She wants to cry to as she must be as scared as you or maybe, more. But since she's the eldest between the two of you she have to be brave for you. "Just go to sleep... I promise... the moment you wake up...when the sun is shining after the storm tonight... we'll be safe... we'll already be at home..."
"P-promise?"
She tries her best to not break down because she knows that she's promising something that's very unrealistic in your situation right now. Both of you are held captives, kidnapped and waiting to be saved.
"I promise." She sniffs "Just hold onto this for now..." she meant her hair and then reaches her hand to you slowly even it's causing too much pain for her. "Go to sleep... Noona will be right here..." the tip of her fingers barely touched your cheek. "I will protect you..." she adds
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[Present]
The silence between you two is very deafening. Even the staffs at the mansion notices how both of you are very distant to each other.
Odd right? They should be used to this situation since Yoongi is the silent type or the one who does not talk that much especially to you.
However for you, maybe this is out of character as every one is not used to you being like this. Well THIS silent anyway.
You usually talk and greet them or make small talks with them or Yoongi even if it's just a random question to make him just...talk. You do anything to make him speak to you. You make small efforts to chase his attention just to get him look back at you per say. Like a dog.
But now, since he made sure to leave you the moment you got vulnerable with him during sex and mentioned a feeling you have, which in the first place you had no idea you have, really hurt you this time. Big time. It is a rejection that you never thought would bother you this much.
"You two are awfully quiet." Mrs. Min says as soon as she puts down her cup of coffee on the table. "You two are both quiet originally... I know... but..." she looks at you and Yoongi back and forth twice. "Did you guys had a fight?"
No one answers.
"Guessing...silence means yes?" Mrs. Min looks at us again, hoping someone will speak up. "What did you do?" She asks Yoongi.
But he didn't open his mouth to speak. He just continued on chewing on his breakfast while his eyes are glued to you.
He has been eyeing you since the two of you left the mansion. He have been silently watching you move along, react and walk from your back. You don't notice it as you are trying to achieve to ignore him completely today. And so far, you are a gold medalist at it. You don't even bat an eye on him.
"Fine... not gonna ask anymore questions..." Mrs. Min gives up. "Anyways, after this lunch... I'll have a meeting with Hannah."
Yoongi flinches, finally reacting and gets interested to whatever his mother is saying. "What for?"
"About the private resort project that she is building... she wants my opinion about what brands to use for the decorations. She have a final lists of candidates of brands and she wants to know my say to it."
"Really...."
"Yes... and as soon as it opens... she says you two can go there... and celebrate... as her gift. Since she missed going to your wedding."
"Celebrate?" You finally spoke after how many years. Even Yoongi whip his head to look at you.
"Yes dear," Mrs. Min smiles so brightly and holds your hand. "You're 2nd anniversary... next month... right?"
"Ah, yes... right." You try to smile it away. But deep inside, you are not looking forward to it.
Why would you? Last year Yoongi didn't even greeted you Happy Anniversary. He probably didn't care back then so why would he care now and celebrate this year? This marriage is nothing to him.
"Is she coming here?" Yoongi asks his mother, changing back the subject to Hannah
"No... I am meeting her at her office."
You are holding on for dear life on your gold medal for 'Ignoring my husband award'. You are so curious to look at him. To see his beautiful face, how he reacts when they talk about her. Hannah. The girl you saw more than a year ago. The girl you saw on the driveway, talking to your husband while she hooked her arms on his'. The girl that Yoongi seems interested about. The girl he seems to.... like.
"How about you guys? What are your plans today after our brunch?" Mrs. Min asks
"Hmm.." he sighs heavily and then takes his phone from the table. "Probably fuck my wife " Yoongi answers nonchalantly making you and Mrs. Min almost choke on nothing. That sentence made you even look at him with wide eyes and red cheeks.
"Omo..." Mrs. Min is too stunned to even comprehend what she just heard. "Well... okay... too much information but..." she then takes a sip of her coffee. "You do you."
"I'm sorry..." you apologize to your mother-in-law.
You are embarassed. This topic should be a private matter. Everyone in the mansion already seem to have the idea what you two do on a regular basis but you do hope that outside, no one has to know.
It's not that you are embarassed of having a sex life. It's normal. Yes. But to have to talk about it to his parents, oh dear god, no.
"Why are you apologizing?" Yoongi's face looks so damn serious. "We are husband and wife right?"
You scowl at Him. You don't like how he acts or portrays like sex is just a hobby for him and it's nothing to be embarassed about. Especially in front of his mother while you are present. He really does not treat you like you have any feelings. He is evil.
"Okay... children...children... don't fight about this... it's okay. You already have issues before we got here so... it's fine." Mrs. Min tries to sooth the situation up.
She's so nice to try. Though she does not know the real reason why there is a huge distance between you two today. It's not that simple. You don't even know if she knows how his son treats you.
***
"Sir." Mr. Kim bows as both Yoongi and you arrives at the driveway, about to leave Mrs. Min's property.
"Get in." He orders you
You glare at him then roll your eyes away. You are in no mood now. You have scowled at him earlier already so why not do it more now that he is irritating you.
"Hold on..." he suddenly grabs you by the arm, stopping you from getting in the car. "Did you just fucking roll your eyes at me?" He scoffs
You try your best to pull your arms from his grip but he is stronger than you. "Let me go." You grunt
"What are you doing?" He asks, "You've been.... acting up lately..."
"I don't know...what you're talking about..." you finally freed yourself from his grip.
"Don't act innocent on me... I know you."
"Know me?" You snap. "How? We barely talked these past two years... You only look for me when you want something done and someone to fuck...besides that, I am nothing to you. So how the fuck will you know me?"
Finally! You've said something. However you can't lie to yourself how terrified you are right now. Your legs are shaking. You have never risen your voice like this before. Not with him. Plus Yoongi is so freaking silent. There was no reaction from him not like Mr. Kim who just coughed because of the sudden tension.
Is he in shock? He must be surprised to hear you speak out after all this time. He had never heard you talk like this before. You can't even read his expression. He is just looking down at you, straight on.
"Ahm... Sir... Miss... I'll leave you two... alone." Mr. Kim finally broke the awkward silence. "Just message me if... we're going home."
You glance at him and bow. Also giving an apologetic look since the situation got a bit serious.
And as soon as Mr. Kim is gone from our sight, Yoongi takes a step forward closer to you, making you back up and your behind bumping on the car. "Is that... what you think?"
You glare up at him. "Yes."
"You think... I don't know you?"
"Yes."
He chuckles. "I know you more than you know..."
You frown. "You only see me when you are horny... you don't even talk to me unless to I ask you... unless you tell me what to do and what not to do... so, how would you know anything about me...?"
He scrunches his face. He looks irritated "I see you more than you think." He mumbles. And then he took a step back and looks at you and watch you tremble,"Do you regret it?" He asks
"W-what? Regret what?"
"The sex... do you regret it?"
"W-what? What do you mean...?"
He then puts both his hands on the car, trapping you between. "Just answer the question... do you hate and regret the sex?"
You look away. "No...."
"Do you want us to stop fucking?"
You sigh heavily. "Why are you focusing on the sex?!?" Your brows are furrowed. You are really showing your frustration. "It's not about the sex, Yoongi! There is nothing wrong with the sex... what I just want is... I just..." you look back at his face and you see an empty expression from him. Does he not get what you are saying or is he ignoring the other parts of what you told him. That the only thing he thinks about is your sex life. "Never mind..." you lower your gaze. "It's not like my opinion matter..."
"Y/N..." Yoongi begins. You look back st him waiting for whatever he's about to say. You think he was about to response to you or maybe say what is on his mind as well. (Maybe.) However, both of you got suddenly distracted by the honk of a black sedan car entering the property.
You have seen that car before. It is familiar. And then when it stops and someone steps out of the car...
"Yoongi?" The woman that came out of the passenger seat, is Hannah. "What are you doing here?"
She is smiling ear to ear. Her smile is as bright as her tear drop pear earrings that is perfectly shown under her tucked bob hair. She's... so pretty.
"Oh... Hi..." she waves at you when she finally notices you
"Hi." You try to smile as brightly as you can.
"You must be Yoongi's beautiful wife." She is sweet. She looks like a friendly and easy going person. "I'm Hannah by the way... I'm Yoongi's friend since we're... toddlers..."
"Nice to meet you." You bow
"What are you doing here? Mother said..."
"Ah... yes... we we're supposed to meet at my office but I just came from another meeting and since we will pass by the house I decided to just meet her now..." she explains
"She must be in her room now.. preparing to meet you."
"Oh. I see... well, I guess I'll just surprise her." She grins. "Are you guys leaving?"
"Yeah... we just had brunch with her..."
Fuck. What is going on?
Just a second ago, you're having a serious confrontation with your husband. You guys are about to talk about the situation between you two. Yes, it may not be the ideal 'talk' but it is a start. But then, here you are. Hannah arrived and stole his full attention. Literally, she have all his eyes and ears. You suddenly became a shadow.
Then you are also hearing Yoongi converse. You are hearing how is he when he's not alone with you. You are hearing a side of him that you are not familiar with. 'Fuck Y/N, stop it.' You say yourself
Maybe, you just need to stop. Just stop complaining about his attention and him not liking you. Maybe he is not the problem. Maybe.. it's you? They forced him to marry and got stucked with you. YOU are the problem. You are NOT the person he wanted to marry. You just got selected just because.
You are the problem. As always. Like what everybody says to you.
"I'll just email you my thoughts after..." Hannah says
"Why not discuss it now?" Yoongi suggests
"Hmm...but you're about to leave..." she glances at you
"It's okay." Yoongi then pulls out his phone and messages someone. "I asked Mr. Kim to come... wait for him... I'll be quick." He says to you
You look at him for a second before you turn your back on him. "Sure." You sound lifeless. You sounded like you've given up already.
"Y-yoongi... you're going to make her wait?" She whispers to him but you care definitely hear it
"Let's make it quick. I don't want to work over the weekend."
He's more worried of working on the weekend but not making you stay and wait all alone.
They start to walk away. You could see their reflection through the windows of the car.
They left you alone.
He left you alone.
Then as you are standing there, waiting for Mr. Kim to come back, you slightly bend over your torso, holding onto the yourself as soon as you felt a little uncomfortable feeling on your lower abdomen. It's not painful but it is a bit of discomfort.
"Fuck..." you hiss under your breathe.
You should be careful now. Atleast until it's fully confirmed. Yes, you are pregnant. Well, that's what the PT told you a few days ago.
You took the test, in your bathroom, scared and shaking like a twig. You have never felt this terrified in your life. Ever. And the freaking 3mins of waiting felt like forever whilst you are in there, sitting on the floor.
But yeah, after the torture of waiting, the test did show two lines. It was a faint but it is positive. And during that moment, your world suddenly stopped spinning. You had to gather your thoughts and emotion within the span of 30mins that you have. (Because your maid will enter your bathroom to help you get ready after 30mins). That was one other toture you had to endure. And to add more spice on this never ending problem is that you were all ALONE. You had no one to hold hands or hug for moral support.
You are, all by yourself.
After testing, you did processed the result in your mind and managed to get back right to reality and decide by yourself to be... okay. To take it as another good day. Because this is not something bad. It is a miracle. It's a life.
Though, you can't lie. It was a whirlwind of emotion. And you don't know what to feel yet about it. You are not even sure if you are able to share it with anyone, even Yoongi since you still need to see a doctor to really confirm it.
Confirmation.
You fucking need that final 'yes you are pregnant'. Because your further decisions in life will revovle around that one thing. Decisions that might affect this marriage and basically affect your whole life. So, you really have to find a way to get a doctor's appointment in secret. For now...
"Miss?" Mr. Kim arrives and sees you slouching, "Is everything alright?"
You turn around, stands up straight and smile. "Yes..."
"Are you hurt?" He asks
"I'm fine... but I just think... my stomach feels heavy a bit from eating... I did ate quite a bit." You lie.
"Okay, let me bring you home quick so you could rest." He says
"Thank you."
****
[Yoongi's side]
Yoongi can't sleep. He got home earlier just an hour after Y/N got home. He asked the maids to call her, to have dinner with him, but unfortunately Y/N was already fast asleep.
He waited for her to wake up from what he thinks is just a quick nap. But whenever he asks the maid if she's up, they just shake their head and say sorry.
They fought. He thinks. It felt like they fought. It's his first time hearing her talk to him like that. She have been always timid and her patience with him is very long. However, she finally have had it.
How can you make your wife, who is clearly showing you that she's falling in love with you, start to hate you?
Well, Yoongi knows what he did and is doing to her. He is very controlling, cold and distant. And these are the traits that can't be part of your life especially of you are married. However, this is how he is. As a child no, but ever since the incident happen fifteen years ago, the trauma and the life he had to put through made him, This.
Outsiders might call him as the devil or the punisher of the Min Family because of all the work he is doing inside the office and outside. He is a fighter and his hands are always covered with blood. Though what he's doing is not a crime. The Min's business is not illegal. They control everything that they can do end everything that is illegal in the most legal way possible. If that makes sense.
They were just a business before. A typical rich family. But yeah, since what had happened to them years ago, they changed their rules and how they do it now.
And that's why Yoongi have this cold exterior. He needs to show to everyone who's watching him that he can't falter. That no one could try to even break him like how those monsters break his father. How those monster took them and made them hostages.
10 million. That's all it takes, for some uneducated humans do the most horrendous thing in this world. To hurt and kill an innocent child. A 16yrs old girl and a 14yr old boy.
Their parents were willing to give the money and even more, just for them to surrender their children. However, the fear in them when they know that the children saw their faces, made them decide to end it all.
Yuna, his older sister, sacrificed her life to save Yoongi. She is one brave young lady. She managed to push his brother just in time to fall on the edge, to roll down small hill and get away through the woods. She got shot and died on the spot. Yoongi saw everything but didn't had the time to grieve then and there because he had to survive yet. To run.
It took two more days before he was found. How he survived? No one knows. But since that day, the happy and cheerful little boy grew up and became the cold Yoongi everyone knows now.
He knows that what he have been through is not an excuse to treat his wife so coldy like this. She was only forced the marry him. She didn't even know him. Which is his fault as well because he didn't allow her to enter his bubble. Up to now...
However, through all the times that he have been with her little by little, as per his therapist's words, 'You are slowly breaking.' She said.
She said that before, whenever she asks him about his wife. He is usually nonchalant or indifferent. Like he's just talking about someone he randomly met. But then one day, the therapists said, she saw a glimpse of change in his eyes the moment she asks about his wife. His expression is the same but his eyes started to shift like he's thinking about it more before he speaks.
'You care. You just don't know how to show it' she said to him.
At first, When Yoongi heard that from his therapist, he got worried. Not because He is starting to have this feeling for his wife. No. His wife is never and will never be a bad thing that happened to his life. He is worried because, what if he breaks his cold exterious and somewhere out there in the world takes advantage of it and what happened years ago will happen again?
That is his only concern. That is why, he added more men. That's why Y/N can't leavr a house alone. That's why he always tracks her phone wherever she is. That's why he can't sleep without know if she is fine or not.
If only... he never had these issues, these traumas from the past, maybe... it's easier.
"Please... don't quit on me..." he says out loud as he closes his eyes, imagining the smiling face of his wife. "Don't... leave me..." he mutters
****
After what it seems like a very, very long day for you you're finally home. You are so tired that the first thing you did after getting changed is sleep. It feels like this is the longest you've slept in like forever.
You keep turning and waking up every now and then but your body kept forcing you to not wake up. It's like its telling you that you needed this. After all of the worrying you have been having these past few days. This sleep is for you.
But then maybe after hour five of sleeping, you felt something cold touch your skin. It didn't sting. It oddly felt good.
Slowly opening your eyes, you see a blurred figure in front of you. He's so close that you could actually smell his scent. The smell of baby powder.
"Yoongi?" You ask softly as your eyes slowly adjusted to the little light of your lamp shade. But no one answered back. You then rub your eyes to wake yourself up a bit more. Just to be surez you saw what you saw.
No one. There's no one there.
"Did I... just dream about him?" You ask, looking at the ceiling. "But I swear..." you trail off. "How funny... even in my dream... I see him..."
But you swear you smelled his scent. Your imagination of him is getting stronger. Your memory of him is getting move vivid. Even the smell now. That's how longing you are of him.
You miss him. Even though he is there  you miss him. Oddly, you miss the time that both of you are just sitting down together in his home office and just reading. You miss casually asking him questions. You miss hearing him talk even though he's talking about his work and not to you. You miss him even though you just saw him earlier. Even though... he hurt you.
His scent. The scent you really, really like. His smell whenever you two have sex. It's not strong but it's there. Whenever you close your eyes and drift away from the high, you know you are okay as long as you could smell and hear him.
Fuck. Is this how being in love is?
Just thinking about him makes you want to cry. You are frustrated at him but at the same time frustrated to yourself as well. Why is communicating is so hard? You know that's the issue. Both of you are not good with talking nor expressing yourselves. Well, that's what Taehyun told you earlier.
Yeah, you went on a side trip earlier before going home, to meet your friend at his work. You needed someone to talk to and you know Taehyung is always there ready to listen to you.
You poured your heart out earlier, crying and all. You were sorry for disturbing him at work but you needed that cry and that hug. You had to told him your feelings about Yoongi. You have to say it out loud for you to truely understand the situation and yourself.
You needed someone's opinion to point out the obvious so it could stick in to your brain.
Growing up to a family where your opinion does not matter took a toll on you as well. Especially to an adoptive family. A family that only needed you for money.
To them, you always feel left out and does not deserve a voice. They always tell you that they only gave you a roof above your head and food to eat because you are what they needed. A piggy bank.
Your parents died in an accident years ago, when you are just 12yrs old. There was a police chase in the highway that rainy day. Every one is on high alert and giving way. But well, the criminals weren't exactly running away and trying to avoid cars. They hit quite a few vehicles during the chase and one of them was your parent's. The crash caused an explosion, killing them in an instant.
And like any drama stories on TV, yout aunt took you in because of your parent's insurance. They are not big but it is a decent amount. However, they could not actually touch it since it is saved for your education that's why the first month of you staying with them was torture. They beat you, make you work and starve you from time to time because they said, 'you don't deserve to eat unless you work for it'.
One reason why starving yourself was easy for you when you need to.
But then things changed a bit when someone knocked on the door one day and gave your adoptive parents a good amount of money. You remember the man saying 'this is for the trouble and lost we caused your family during our battle for saving our children.' You do remember you aunt, being a good actress that day, crying and all. You even saw them be in a good mood. Everyday because of that money. So since then, whenever you have a part time job or one good seasonal job, you save up and give it to them.
You do this not because you want them to be happy. You do this because you wanted peace for yourself. They will not hurt you if you give them what they need.
This is one reason too why you accepted this marriage. Even though, you know you will have trials too. But atleast you know, no one is going to hurt you physically anymore.
Though, you are having troubles now too.... it is still different. Like you said, it is the communication.
Is it all Yoongi's fault? No. Taehyung said that maybe, since I'm very submissive and him being very dominant, grew up giving orders or not listening to anyone because he is who he is, it affected the talking part in the relationship. Though he cannot say that it is a hundred percent fact. Because he explain, everyone have different stories of growing up and these affects every facet of their whole being when they get old.
Well, that's what you got from all his talk. Half of it, you are numb from all the crying and can't hear properly.
Though that talk with Taehyung,you needed that. Now all you have to do is talk to Yoongi.
If.... you have the courage too.
It is so hard to start a conversation not knowing how he feels about you. It is scary and a risk. But you are hoping it will turn out good especially now that you are expecting.
"Oh, right! The result!" You got up immediately and grab your phone.
You visited Taehyung in the hospital and he got to help you get a blood test to confirm. You forgot to talk to him about the result because you two are busy with doing friend therapy. He said, he'll just email you the result.
But then as you were scrolling scrolling through your emails your stomach growls. "I'm hungry..." you mumble and pause. "Taehyung said that if I am really pregnant... I need to eat properly now..."
And you haven't eaten dinner since you just slept since you came home. You need to eat.
Looking at the time it's pass 10pm already. Everyone must be asleep now or getting to bed so you must go and make yourself food yourself.
"Just one toast." You say as you push your blanket away. "Or two..."
You walk along the hallways as quietly as you can and then take the stairs instead of the elevator, going to the upper ground, so you could not disturb anyone.
There is still minimal light coming from the kitchen area. 'Maybe someone is still there?' You thought to yourself and hoping it is one of the maids so they could help you grab the things in the pantry. Since you don't really know how they organize it.
But then the second you turn to the corner, to enter the doorway
"Ah!" You hit your head first at something. Or at someone
Then after collecting yourself from bumping on someone, you look up to see who it was. "Sorry, I wasn't looking at--"
Fuck! It's not Yoongi nor anyone of the staff.
You tried to run back and scream but it was too late. He was quick to cover your mouth with a cloth. A scented cloth. The smell quickly pierced your nostrils and immediately made you feel dizzy and sleepy.
You are barely awake but you know he carried you over his shoulder. You could see the floor and the lights slowly to flicker. You are about to loose it.
'Help... Someone.... Yoongi... please...' You say to yourself before totally loosing consciousness.
-----
Taglist based on the replies last post 🖤
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springalwayscomes · 10 months
Text
Closer
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Closer (Teaser) Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Masterlist Taglist
Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… close is not close enough anymore for Jungkook.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers
Wordcount: 27k
Content Warning: mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, swearing, pining, minor injury, praise, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions of blowjob, masturbation, hand job, dry humping, multiple orgasms, love making, creampie 
Author’s Note: Hello! I had the first line of this fic stuck in my notes for a while, it stayed there without really going anywhere, then inspiration came and the miracle happened in a few days. I like this so much so I hope you will like it too! There are some parts that just do things to my heart, one of these is inspired by Gaelforce. I don’t know if you follow him but if you do you sure will realise when you’ll get there!
Let me know what you think about it, again I hope you’ll like it!💜
If you want to be tagged in my taglis to get notified when my other works will come out let me know here, under this post, with a message or an ask. Feel free to talk to me for whatever, I always appreciate your messages!🫶🏻💜
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Jungkook walked in on you using your vibrator as a microphone when you were nineteen, lipsynching as if your life depended on it. 
He had laughed so fucking loud that time that you still feel your ears grow red when you think about it. 
He has teased you for it from the moment it happened, still does it now.
Back then, it was so freaking hilarious he would bring it up every time you were too mad at him, to make you laugh it off and let go of the heavy atmosphere creating between you every time you used to fight as teenagers. 
Five years afterwards, as of now, he still thinks about it from time to time. It makes him giggle when he’s in the middle of a meeting at work, when he has a stressful day, when he’s just laying in bed with his head empty. Usually, that would be the case. Now that you’re sitting on his couch with a bag of pop corns squished in your hands while the tv is playing though, is a new circumstance. 
«What are you laughing at? You’re so loud» you wince at him, monotone and annoyed.
He licks his lips, shaking his head.
«Your vibrator still haunts me» 
It takes you less than two seconds to realise what he’s talking about. 
«You’re so annoying. Should I bring up the time you farted out loud in class too?»
«That’s not the same,» he laughs «I told you that I wasn’t feeling good but you insisted on going to class anyway»
«You didn’t go for three days straight-» you fight back, stopping yourself when the camera points on Park Seojun. 
«Gosh, this man. I’m gonna marry him someday» you sigh dreamily. Jungkook snorts.
«Cause I was sick?» he opens the fridge.
«You drank with Jin the night before. You shouldn’t drink if you’re sick. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t hold it until class was over»
«You’re so noisy» he rummages through the shelves, finally finding the bowl of strawberries he was looking for.
«Want some?»
You quickly glance at him over the counter, pop corns stuffing your mouth full.
«No, thanks. I’m full with these»
He gets a spoon from the drawer, walking back to the sofa. 
«The face you made when I walked in is still funnier than-»
«When you farted in front of the class?» you cut him off, trying to get some sense in his head.
«Hell, yeah» he laughs.
«You literally-»
«Okay, now stop!» you slap his ass before he gets a chance to sit down.
«Oh, yes keep going» he fakes a moan. You literally want to slap him hard enough to make him stop being an idiot, but you have to hold yourself back.
«Just shut up and let me see Park Seojun» you shake your head. Jungkook gets a spoonful of strawberries into his mouth, eyes falling on the screen and eyebrows pinched together.
It’s a Saturday, thanks God the both of you don’t work on weekends, so usually you both find yourself on the sofa, watching a movie or just messing around. You’ve known each other since you were sixteen, so to say that you’re pretty comfortable with each other is an understatement. Even when you first met him, the nineteen years old Jungkook never made you feel uneasy. You were inseparable. Best friends that used to sleep at each other’s place every three to four days because you were just used to it. It was natural, so natural that a lot of the people around you thought you were a couple. Back then, you would grimace and shake your head vividly, not even giving it a thought. Jungkook would laugh it off, heart beating loudly in his chest every time anyone made him imagine how it would’ve been. 
«Do you still have it?» he asks, voice low as he stares at the screen.
«What?» you murmur. He doesn’t answer, his spoon scraping against the plastic of the bowl to get as much strawberries as he can into his mouth. He munches on them, gulping down and enjoying the sweet taste.
«That vibrator» 
«Jungkook! What kind of question is that?» you stop the drama, his thigh getting hit by the remote.
«I was just asking!» he raises his hands as to make sure you understand he meant no harm, the bowl now sitting on his lap.
«Why would you ask that?» your tone makes his eyes smile first, as he always does. His eyes smile first, then his lips just follow.
«Why are you so sensitive about it? I won’t ask, but we both know you still use it» he gets up from the couch, getting to the sink to put the empty bawl inside. 
«We say filthier things when we’re in bed!» he goes on from where he’s standing at. Your head is going to explode. It’s at times like this that you rethink about your life choices. From being sixteen and dumb, until you’re twenty four and ending up with sleeping with your best friend. 
«In bed! Leave those for when we’re in bed!» you fight back, another pop corn getting shoved into your mouth.
«Okay,» he appears by your side «wanna go to bed so I can ask you?» 
You can’t believe him. 
«Jungkook!» he laughs, bright and out loud, crystal clear. It makes your insides twist and turn with the need of shutting him up.
It’s not like it’s a everyday thing, sleeping together. It just happened three times, out of the blue. You both agreed that it’s not something big, something that will change your bond or friendship, it’s just something that… you both needed? In those moments, you guess. Maybe mentally? However you try to justify it, the answer is always the same: nothing is going to change between you. It’s just sex. But for the sake of your relationship, you try to keep it where it belongs: in bed. Talking about such things outside can be confusing, it can lead your friendship too places you don’t want it to be. You love Jungkook, as your friend. Being too sexual won’t lead to good places, just a fucked up friendship and a fuckbuddy living with you.  So you both better keep your minds at bay, don’t pass the limits of friendship at least when you can.
«I’m going to get a shower» you announce, shutting the tv and getting up from the couch. His eyes are questioning, but you just tap his shoulder. 
«Put this away, please?» you hand the pop corns to Jungkook. He grabs the bag. 
«Why?» you’re already almost out of the living room when he asks.
«I’m going out tonight!» 
«With the girls?» he raises his voice a bit to make you hear him from the other room, as he looks for a peg in the drawer to close the popcorns.
«Yeah, it’s Eunji’s birthday!» you remind him. Jungkook winces, he knows what that means. You will come back home late, and you’ll end up being awake until morning cause you hate going to clubs and will feel like you have to make up for the six hours you lost in there. You still do it, for your friends, but it’s something that you don’t enjoy a lot. If you add the fact that you don’t actually drink, that makes it all even worse. 
«What about Jimin?» he’s out of your bedroom door, you can hear it from how close his voice sounds. Thank god he has a good sense of privacy, cause you’re naked. 
«They were together the whole day, tonight is girl’s night» you answer. Jungkook nods, telling himself he’s going to ask him to come over later.
«I’m taking a shower now!» you let him know the conversation is going to end, already walking to your bathroom.
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«She said it’s girls’ night, so» Jimin’s munching on a chicken’s wing with so much eagerness it looks like he hasn’t been eating for a week. 
Namjoon nods at him, getting a beer from the fridge. 
«You’ve been together the whole day, though» 
«I know» he answers, «what can I do if I want to spend every second with her?»
«I feel like I’m gonna throw up» Yoongi murmurs from beside him, giving him the most disgusted glance ever. Jungkook laughs.
«What have you all been up to lately?» 
Hoseok sits on the carpet, ready to start eating as he waits for the group’s answer. 
Jin shrugs.
«Just work. The restaurant is always full, I think I might die from overworking»
«Listen to him bragging» Taehyung pats his hyung’s shoulder.
«I’m not! It’s going well, but it’s fucking tiring! Last night I came home to Hana and…  nnghh, why am I so dumb?» he closes his eyes, breathing through his teeth. 
«What happened?» Jungkook asks.
«She’d kill me if she knew I told you this,» he gulps a big sip of beer down «you have to promise me it won’t slip out of your dead-ass mouths»
«When did we ever say-»
«That time?» Yoongi’s question gets cut off, Jin’s eyes big as they remind him of what happened last time.
«It wasn’t me! It was Tae!» 
«Yah, I didn’t do it on purpose» he fights, holding back a laughter.
«Alright, stop. Just don’t make it happen again» Seokjin gives him a fiery glance.
«She was like, really in the mood and… I told her I would take a shower and then go to bed with her but my muscles were so sore I decided to run a bath. I felt asleep. She waited up for me for a whole hour,» he takes a bite from the chicken «she was… god, what did I do? I was so tired I didn’t do it on purpose but she felt rejected or humiliated I guess… I’m such a-»
«Hyung, you were just tired» Jungkook stops his rant. Namjoon nods.
«You should talk to her»
«I didn’t get the chance, she left earlier this morning and didn’t answer my texts all day» he answers, eyes gloomy as he pours himself another glass of beer. 
«Wait for her up, she’ll come back after they are done with the club» Yoongi proposes. Jin nods.
«What about you?» he asks.
«I’m good» he smiles. A little too much, actually. It’s too bright, too much. 
«You’re good?» Hoseok smiles at him, already knowing that there’s something else. There has to be, with him smiling like that.
«Really good» he echoes. 
At this point, Jin hits his shoulder.
«Yah, give us the good stuff!» 
The music in the background fills the air as Yoongi ponders on how to explain what’s happening in his life at the moment, a big smile taking over his features. 
«I’m…» he smiles again «I’m going to be a dad» 
«What?!» it’s a scream that comes out loud, the same word coming from every single person present. The man nods, eyes teary. It makes Jungkook’s heart squeeze, to see his hyung so happy. The room is filled with happiness, as they all proceed to ask questions, hugs and congratulations getting shared. After all, he and Hyunjoo have been trying for the last year. The night is filled just like that, with jokes and laughs until Jin and Jimin decide that it’s time to go back home to wait for their girlfriends, the others deciding to stay until you will be back to say hello and goodbye to Jungkook. 
It’s when the bell rings that they know that something is definitely weird. The knock on the door too sounds eager for you, and when Jungkook gets up to open it what they hear right after makes their eyes shoot right open.
«Fuck, are you drunk? Who took you home? Why did you drink?»
«Leave me alone» you stutter as you try to walk inside, Jungkook’s arm getting to your waist. You can’t even stand, how much did you drink? 
«Who took you home?» to say he sounds worried sick is an understatement.
«Some guy with a really pretty dick» you laugh. Taehyung gets up, everyone following after him. They never saw you drunk, simply because you just don’t drink. You don’t like the taste of alcohol, can’t even gulp down a sip of beer properly without having to go brush your teeth, apart from the fact that you can’t hold it. Half of a glass is enough to make you the drunkest version of yourself; apparently now it’s not like that anymore.
«What?» the shock from seeing you like this makes Jungkook hold his words back, first he needs to make you sit somewhere.
«Grab a wet towel, or just… water, give me water!» he orders around. Someone gives him just what he asked for, and he doesnt even spend time in thanking them as he wipes the makeup off from your face. 
«Water» Yoongi gives him a glass.
«Why- you’re here! Hello!» you wave to your friends, Taehyung smiling at you. 
«My bestest friend! Tae, I missed you» you whine, grabby hands reach for his wrist, making him sit next to you.
«Yah! I’m your bestest friend!» Jungkook shakes his head.
«I missed you too» Taehyung scoffs, your head falling on his shoulder. Jungkook hisses, it’s harder to get your makeup off when half of your face is squashed like this.
«Why did you drink so much?» Taehyung tries.
«I was… feeling left out? I can’t remeber well» you murmur, chuckles coming out as you decide it’s time to mess with Jungkook. Every time he tries to wipe a part of your face, you just turn in the opposite direction.
«Will you stay still?» he shakes his head, annoyed.
«You’re a pain in the ass, Jungkook. I hate you»
«I think it’s better if you go home, she needs a shower» Jungkook turns to face Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok. They look pretty shocked, but worry is weighting down on them more.
«Are you sure? We can help you?» Hoseok tries, but he shakes his head again.
«It’s fine, I got this» 
«Don’t go! Why are you kicking them out! So annoying» you fight, holding Taehyung’s arm tighter.
«I’m not kicking them out, but you need to shower and get changed and they- just…» he turns again «Don’t worry, just go home and rest. I got this» he repeats.
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It’s 5.43 am. And it’s so frustrating that you’re laying by his side, sleeping, while his eyes are wide open. 
You might not feel good, so it’s better anyway, he tells himself.
Jungkook is annoyed. A lot, actually. Why, he doesn’t get it. Your words echo in his mind, making him bite on the inside of his cheek when he should be resting.
Did you sleep with someone? It very much sounded like it. A really pretty dick? He scoffs. The adjective sounds almost out of place, still he feels his insides burning even hotter. He wants to ask you right now, but you’re sleeping. Again, he should be too, actually. 
He decides it’s better if he sleeps on the sofa, you’re asleep anyway, so you won’t make a fuss about it. He lifts the covers, gently and slowly, then sits on the bed, a leg already out and his foot laying on the ground. The cold makes him wince.
«Don’t go» you hold his wrist, digits caressing his skin. 
«Stay with me,» you plead «I’m not feeling good» 
His defences fall down instantly. It’s hard not to succumb when you’re murmuring against him. He does it without you having to ask twice, his foot back under the warm covers.
«Hold me?» you ask. It’s low, sweet and sleepy, and he guesses you’re still drunk but he doesn’t care. His arms wrap around you and hold you close, your head lays on his chest as you would do after having sex. Jungkook holds his breath and swears to himself, he needs to slow down his heartbeat because it seems like his heart is going to combust. 
«I don’t hate you,» your voice is faint
«I’m sorry I told you I hate you, Kookie»
«It’s okay» he caresses your hair, trying to make you relax.
«Just get some sleep» he can’t hold himself back, not when you’re laying in his arms so defenceless and looking so frail and delicate. His lips land on your forehead, soft and gentle, incredibly caring. You don’t say anything though, you’re already asleep.
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«Alright, what is it?» Taehyung snaps at him, eyes fixed on the maknae. Jin nods, eyebrows high.
«Nothing» Jungkook shrugs, going back to stare at the screen. The movie isn’t playing, stopped by Taehyung. 
«It doesn’t seem like nothing» he answers back. 
Yoongi taps Jungkook’s shoulder.
«Tell it to Yoongi hyung?» he smiles. 
Jungkook scoffs. It’s something he used to tell him when he was younger, it would reassure him to know that there was someone older than him to relay on and to count on. Now, though, Yoongi can’t do anything about it.
«I’m your hyung too» Taehyung pats his other shoulder.
«Me too» Jimin adds.
«We’re all older, we got it» Namjoon looks at the two who are smiling wide at Jungkook.
«Talk to us? We could help» he prompts. 
«I just… I don’t know» he doesn’t know where to start from. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling so bothered about it, it shouldn’t be such a big deal.
«I don’t know… why?»
«What? We can’t understand like this» the confusion is clear on Hoseok’s features.
Jungkook sighs, deep and shaky, head falling on the cushion of the couch.
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» he declares, bringing the back of his hand on his eyes. 
«What?» it’s Jimin and Jin, ready to ask why he didn’t tell them. Yoongi glares at them in a second, shutting them up before they even have the chance to start.
«And?» he coos.
«And- she… slept with someone else» he adds. It’s blurry, and the situation is not clear, but just seeing Jungkook like this makes all of them on the edge.
«Are you in a relationship? Or you just-»
«We’re not» he answers Namjoon.
«We’re not, but…» he doesn’t finish. 
He can’t believe himself. What the hell is this about? It’s not like you agreed on being exclusive, you didn’t even talk too much about what happened, it just happened, three fucking times. And god, how fucking good it was. The best sex he’s ever had. Fuck, he didn’t even think about someone else after sleeping with you. 
Maybe it wasn’t the smartest of choices since he’s been fighting against his feelings for six years, but until now they were pretty good. He dated, you dated, he kept them at bay and they didn’t get in the way. 
«You wish you were» Yoongi finishes his sentence.
Silence fills the air. Jungkook feels like he’s going to throw up. You wish you were, it’s the only thing playing in his head. He wishes you were. That’s the point, that’s the fucking point. He wishes you’d see in him what he’s been seeing in you for all these years, he wishes you’d crave his touch just like he craves yours, in the same way. He wishes you could share more than just a home and bills, friendship and bags of popcorns. He wishes for more, and fuck, he’s been so fucking stupid all along to think that a little taste couldn’t do too bad, to think that he could have at least that much.
«Have you talked to her?» Jin tries. Jungkook shakes his head, the back of his hand still pressed against his eyes.
«Why don’t you try?»
«Why would I? We’re friends»
«Fuckbuddies?» Jimin asks «How can you be-» Taehyung slaps him on the neck. A faint moan coming out of his friend’s lips.
«Shut up»
«No, friends. We’re friends» he slightly raises his voice on the last word, to make it clear. 
Yoongi’s eyes narrow.
«You mean you… you’ve been sleeping together but you’re friends?» 
«Isn’t it clear?» Jin looks at him like Yoongi has two heads, eyes trying to suggest something that no one gets. His head moves as to beckon him to something that’s right in front of him, Yoongi’s expression still clueless. Then, he gets it.
«Y/n! Is it Y/n? What the hell Jungkook!» he breaks out. Everyone’s eyes shot right open, Jungkook’s hand falling on his lap as he realises that there’s no way back. 
«When? Why?»
«It just… happened» he sighs, eyes closing again. 
«When?» Taehyung can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
«Four months ago,» he murmurs «the first time»
«How many times? Oh, my god» Jin wants to know everything, every little detail. Not sexually, it would be awkward since you’re his friend, but every thing he can, he has to know.
«Three» 
«Three?» He repeats.
«Three times,» Jungkook says again «I don’t know what to-»
«Is it because of the guy with the pretty dick?» Yoongi asks. Jungkook tilts his head, glaring at his hyung. 
«Okay, it is»
«Talk to her» Hoseok prompts but he only gets a big, steady shake of the maknae’s head.
«She was drunk. Do you know what you’re doing? Like, have you talked about it at least? Are you exclusive with each other?»
«We didn’t, and I guess we’re not» Jungkook answers Jin, not really in the mood for all of his questions.
«Jungkook, you have to-»
His phone rings, cutting Hoseok off. Your name comes up on the screen, everyone’s eyes and ears ready to steal information, Jungkook’s thumb stopping before hitting the green icon. He takes a deep breath, then answers. 
«What-»
«Jungkook, please help me» 
Something inside him snaps, worry filling every part of his being. Your voice is shaky, fragile. It sounds like you’re crying.
«What, what happened? Where are you?»
«At home,» you whimper «I’m in the tub. I slipped and, I can’t move. It hurts» 
«Fuck, wait I’ll be there in five minutes. Stay on the phone, don’t move. Please, don’t move, okay?» he’s already on the way to the door of Taehyung’s house, their eyes fixed on him in worry. He waves goodbye before closing the door, mouthing “emergency” at their inspecting eyes.
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«Fuck, are you okay?» 
To say he’s worried sick is an understatement. His eyes travel to every part of your body to make sure that you’re not hurt, until they reach your arms covering your chest. 
«Don’t look! Give me the bathrobe» you want to cry, you feel so embarrassed that you actually could. 
«Yes!» he passes it to you quickly, helping you as best as he can with his face turned to the side. He wants to tell you that it doesn’t matter if he sees you like this cause it already happened but he guesses you might feel embarrassed or just not at ease, so he shuts up and does what he has to. 
«It’s fine, I…» your voice trembles. You hold his wrist on the side of the tub, fingers cold and wet. 
«It’s fine, it’s alright. Ssshh, don’t cry» he kneels down, his arms wrapping around you and leading your head to his chest. 
«I’m not crying» you whisper, gulping down.
«You’re about to,» he caresses your hair «I’m here. I got you» he feels his throat tightening. He was so fucking worried he run two red lights while coming home, all the ones he met. 
«I always got you» he coos. 
For some reason, his words make you shake in his hold, a faint whimper coming out as you let the tears fall. The embarrassment and the stress about the situation, the pain of your ankle and his presence seem to mix together to combine into a perfect crying solution.
«You won’t tease me about this, right?» you mumble, voice muffled. Jungkook’s heart feels slightly reassured at your words, a weak smile gracing his lips.
«I won’t, baby. I promise» he whispers.
Your faint sobs fill the air, and he feels like his poor heart will break only by listening. His fingertips dig into your bathrobe so much it’s like you feel them on your skin, his other hand caresses your hair, his breath shaky. 
He waits for your weeps to summer down and stays like this a little longer, his presence reassuring and his touch relaxing you.
«Let’s get you out of here, okay?» he asks. You nod. He’s gentle when he parts his arms from around you, gentle when he tells you to relax, gentle when he smiles at you, soothing. 
«Where does it hurt?» 
«My ankle» you let him know. His eyes travel down, hands getting wet in the water as he lightly feels both of them. 
«There» you hold back your breath, the pain makes you grimace.
«Okay, just… can you get up? Just lean on me and don’t put weight on your right leg. Lean on me» he instructs. You follow his words and try to get up as best as you can, leaning your weight on him and keeping your ankle up. Jungkook helps you out of the bathtub, his hands coming to your back and the back of your legs to pick you up. He makes sure not to hurt your ankle with any movement, eyes on your face to check in with you without having to ask.
The path to your bedroom is silent, he lays you on your bed and tells you he will change the sheets himself afterwards because of the wet bathrobe. 
«I think you need a pillow, you need to keep your ankle up» he works diligently, worry guiding him until he realises you’re set. On the bed, with the pillow underneath your ankle, comfortable, kind of.
«Do you want ice? Wait, I’ll get it with something to drink» he lets you know. He vanishes out of your bedroom and into the kitchen to get a glass of water and the ice, then goes back to the bathroom to get a towel to wrap around it so it isn’t too cold.
When he comes back, he smiles at you.
«You need to drink at least a bit» he hands you the glass. He sits next to you, looks as you gulp down the entire glass with a proud smile, his hand reaching out to take the glass back and put it on your nightstand. You stay with your mouth closed, still too embarrassed to say anything.
He puts the ice on your ankle, careful not to hurt you more than what you’re hurting already. It’s an instinct he doesn’t think of or can fight back, when he strokes your hair tenderly. It makes you gulp, heart swelling in your chest. 
«I was so fucking scared» he admits, low and shaky, almost a whisper.
«I’m sorry» you really are. He was enjoying his night with your friends after a hard week of work, and you called him and made him come all the way home, worried and-
«It’s okay, don’t worry» he smiles.
«But we should go to the hospital, your ankle is a bit swollen and-»
«Not now, please» you refuse.
«Y/n, you really should»
«I know,» you nod «just please not now? In a bit» 
Jungkook sighs, but he nods. He keeps the ice on your ankle, eyes on your face to check if he’s hurting you in any way to the point you feel your ears burn. 
«Come here?» you ask, patting beside you. He raises his eyebrows, looking at your hand on the mattress. 
«Please?» you ask sweetly. 
«The ice» he says. You shake your head.
«Just for a little, please» you gulp your beating heart down. You want him close, closer and closer. You don’t know why, but you want him so close it’s getting hard to breathe.
Jungkook can’t say no to you, not when you’re in your most fragile state, telling him to lay beside you. He puts the ice on the nightstand, next to the empty glass. 
When he lays on his side, his eyes instantly fall on your face, a bit of worry still painting his features.
Your hands move on their own, reaching his and bringing them around you. 
The atmosphere is dreamy like, a pinkish feeling invading Jungkook’s chest as he stares at you, his arms squeezing you and your eyes getting lost in his. It’s odd, how you can feel you heart pulsate, the sound echoes in your ears until they become numb. His hold seems to calm your racing mind a bit and you find yourself craving for something you can’t really touch, get a grasp of.
«Jungkook» you call. 
«Mmh?» 
«I want you» 
Jungkook feels like a leaf about to fall. Swept away by the wind, scared to fall but what if the fall is so sweet, so gentle? What if he can’t say no? He wants you just as bad as he wants you to want him. He wants you sweetly, he wants you lovingly. He wants you. Every part, every shiver, every fear and every night. Every fucking night. If he can’t have that, he’ll have to settle for this at least. He can’t say no to your love. And now that he realises, he thinks, this is the last time. The first time loving you and the last. 
«Fuck, come» he holds you tighter.
«Come into my arms» as if you weren’t already. He stays like that, seconds passing by and his breath getting rougher, he tries to  slow down his heartbeat but it’s to no use, you probably can feel it even through your bathrobe and his clothes. He wonders what are you thinking, if you want him as bad as he wants you at least sexually. It makes him breathless, how much he wishes you were his.
«I need-» he gulps «I need you close»
His body moves on top of yours, his legs in the middle of your thighs, eyes glancing at your ankle to make sure he doesn’t hurt you with his movements. It kills you, how he takes his shirt off and the light of your room kisses every single inch of his abdomen. His beautiful skin, the muscles flexing as he removes the cloth, his brownish nipples hard at the cold hair. You want to lick it, every part of him. You want to touch it, chase every ripple with your fingertips. 
«Can I take this off?» he asks. 
When you meet his gaze his eyes are made of something you’ve never seen. It’s not want or need, you’ve seen those already the other times you had sex, it’s just something else that you can’t quite grasp; you don’t focus on it too much, nodding your head and reaching you hands for the knot of the bathrobe. 
«Wait, let me» his fingers graze yours. You stop your ministrations, watching as he unties the knot, slow. There’s something. There’s definitely something. When he took your clothes off the last time, there was eagerness in his motions. There was need.
He was scared, of course he was. You guess that now he’s just glad you’re okay and trying to not hurt you in any way. You’re glad. Glad that he takes such good care of you, glad to have him as your friend. 
«Thank you» you smile. Jungkook feels his heart clench. He wishes your relationship wouldn’t be like this, for you not to thank him with that smile so uninvolved, so clear. 
He nods, hands getting by your sides to not put any weight on you.
«Keep your ankle up, please. Don’t wanna hurt you» he says. You nod, again.
His bicep flexes as he puts his weight only on his left arm, his fingers of the other caressing your clavicle. He sees the shivers on your skin as he travels lower, grabbing the edge of the bathrobe to reveal your chest. He wants to squeeze you, squeeze you so tight you don’t have any space left between you, hearts beating against each other. 
Your skin glistens, and he can’t hold himself back anymore. He raises on his calves, opens your robe so that every part of you is revealed, takes off his pants and his socks. His cock is hard, so fucking hard he’s afraid he’ll come just by the sight of you, but he wants to hold back. He has to, cause he wants to do this right, in the right way. He wants to love you even if you don’t notice it, at least for once. 
«Sit up for me, princess» his tone is like honey, and you do as he says without complaining. The pet name leaves a weird taste in your ears, you’re not used to it.
He helps you out of the bathrobe, finally having you naked on the bed. So pretty, so exposed just for him. Something inside him doesn’t set right, though. 
«Hold tight onto me» 
You’re in his arms, getting up from the bed and out of your bedroom. You wander what the hell is he doing until you get to his bedroom, confusion invading your features.
«Why?» 
He lays you on his bed, getting a pillow again so that you can keep your ankle elevated.
He looks down at you from the end of the bad, cock twitching and eyes fixed into yours. He wonders if it was too much of a bold move, but he guesses you wouldn’t see anything behind it. 
«Want you in my bed» he simply answers, transparent and straight to the point, his dark doe eyes drinking yours in. 
You just nod a little astonished. 
Of all the times you had sex, it was always in your bed. Never in his. Never your perfume stayed on his sheets, never he got to swim in the illusion of having at least a little more to keep to himself, just for him. A part of you to keep, to protect in a world that isn’t yours. 
He takes his boxers off, and god you wish he could be faster cause you think your eagerness will make you lose your mind. You want him deep inside you, close as soon as possible.
«Open your legs for me?» he coos. He looks at you from the edge of the bed, still standing. Your eyes travel all the way from his face to his cock, it stands straight up to his belly button, the tip red and angry, veins displayed. If you’re not seeing wrong, there’s a bit of precum leaking out from his tip, but maybe it’s just the light playing with your eyesight. 
You do as he says, opening your legs as much as you can for him to see, careful with your ankle. He bites down on his lips, his hand getting to the base of his cock and wrapping around it, just squeezing it.
«I love your pussy» he breathes out. The way he sounds makes you clench around nothing and when you see his hand stroke up and down his needy cock your mouth opens in awe. 
«I’m obsessed, want it every day» 
You squeeze your thighs together, how can he speak so filthy but sound so angelic?
«That can’t happen» you warn him. 
Jungkook nods.
«I know» he answers. It kills him. It fucking kills him, to have a taste and then having to let go of it. 
He gets to the bed, kneeling in front of you, his eyes on your face. 
«I want you on my tongue» 
Your yearning is making you crazy, you’re so wet you’re practically dripping by now.
«Please, Jungkook» 
It sounds so good, to hear you say his name like that. In such a filthy way, totally unfiltered. 
«Gonna give my baby what she needs»
His hands touch your thighs, he gropes your skin with his digits, so soft it makes him want to fucking lose himself and get lost just in the desire. His sentence makes you wetter, but your heart beats louder for some type of reason. 
«Please» you plead again. 
«I got you» he reassure you, he lays down on your body, face close to yours. His lips are close, so close you think he’s going to kiss you but he just lays a kiss on the corner of your mouth. 
«I always got you» he whispers, his eyes looking into yours. His hand caresses your cheek, something that adds too much to this, to you, to the both of you. It leaves you wordless, shaking.
A second later, he’s back between your legs,  his hands grabbing your thighs in the gentlest way he ever did. 
«So beautiful» he murmurs to himself as he looks at your pussy juices leaking out. It’s so fucking inviting that he can’t hold back anymore. His mouth lands on your clit, so soft and pillowy, he kisses it. A strangled moan comes out of your mouth, and he lays another, and another. His tongue starts to glide between your lips, up and down he gathers your juices and then sucks onto your clit, your back arching on the bed.
«Oh, fuck» you moan. It makes him eager. Eager for more, eager for you, ciclo by fervent. He wants it all.
He sucks on your clit again, harder and for a time that seems endless, the pleasure that takes over you is tingling and consuming and your mouth opens again in a silent moan. He lets it go with a popping sound, he blows on it, kisses it again, sucks again as his tongue plays with it. Your hands reach his hair, they tug at the strands as you moan out loud. It’s so good, so good you’re not going to last long.
«So good» your hips shoot up, whines come out of your mouth.
He feels drunk, lost in the taste of you.
«Yeah?» he coos. His tongue rubs your clit deliciously, the pattern changing from up and down to side to side and circles, it makes you lose your mind. 
«What if I do this? Take all of you in my mouth?» 
It’s unreal, how good he can make you feel. He takes you all in his mouth, from your clit to your hole, sucking on every part he manages to get, then sucks on your lips. His hands move on your stomach, eyes on your face as he grabs your breasts in his palms. He squeezes them softly, fingers rubbing your nipples, filthy wet sounds filling the air. It’s embarrassing, the amount of wetness through your folds, how your juices keep leaking out at just a look at him. You don’t think you can hold back. Not when he’s sucking on your clit again, his fingers grazing your nipples as he moans on it in his mouth. He doesn’t think he can get any other pussy, after yours. It’s too good, it’s perfect. Just perfect.
«Gonna- Jungkook» you shiver.
«Tell me, talk to me, baby» he moans on your pussy, his tongue poking at your hole. 
«Fuck, I think I’m going to- cum» 
His tongue feels so good inside you, your walls tight around it and your juices wetting all of his chin. He wants your wetness everywhere, on his chest, on his thighs, on his fucking bed. 
«Please, let me see» he begs. 
«Cum for me» 
One of his hands come down, his fingers rubbing your clit. You don’t have the time nor the voice to tell him that you’re going to, cause god, it feels so fucking good you don’t even know how to speak anymore. You just see him, his eyes staring at you from between your legs, nose brushing against your folds, his tongue deep inside you. Your legs shake, your breathing is rough.
«Cum for me, angel» 
And you do. You cum so fucking hard, you don’t even realise what is happening, how your juices flow out and drip onto his sheets,  how Jungkook presses down onto the mattress to get some sort of friction, how he gulps down your juices as if they were the tastiest thing he ever drank. 
He kisses your clit, your lips, every part of your pussy he can get a taste of, your inner thighs.
«Fuck, I only want your pussy» he moans, the fingers that left your aching clit now wrapping around his thickness, your juices on his cock make his skin glossy. You’re such in a haze that yes, you nod.
«Fuck, yes» you sigh. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you, he simply can’t. You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you’re so vulnerable and exposed for him that you make him helpless, totally fragile.
«You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you cum» his voice makes you open your eyes, finding him still between your legs. 
«Come here» you struggle to let your voice out. 
«Want you close» 
His heart shakes. 
«Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you» he breathes out, laying on top of you. His voice is shaky and you feel his hands travel from your thighs to your stomach, then to your chest. They reach your shoulders, one of them cups your cheek, his eyes study every part of your face. He looks at the flush of your cheeks, how they turned to a reddish tone, your lips swollen from your teeth biting at them, your hair messy all over his pillows. In his bed, his at least for now.
«I want you, only want you» you whine. 
«You have me» he wishes you could notice, that you’d realise, look at him and mean your words just how he means them. He just rubs his cock against your folds, though.
«Right here» he moans. Cock rock hard, so fucking ready for you. 
«Please» you just keep pleading, you can’t hold back. You don’t even care if you just came and your pussy needs time to recover from the tremendous orgasm you just had, you just want him inside you. 
His cockhead brushes against your clit, a strangled moan coming out from both of your throats, your eyes focusing on his just to see that’s they were already there. Jungkook smiles at you so softly as his cockhead finds your hole and pushes in that it feels too much. Too much affection, to much loving. Too lovingly. It makes your insides twist and turn, and you wonder what the fuck is going on, but you don’t have time to voice your feelings cause a second later his cock is deep inside you, filling you up to the brim.
You just shut your mouth, take everything he has to give. You want it all, you don’t care.
«Fucking perfect» he whines. His cock never felt so good, your walls squeeze him perfectly, your pussy so wet he can feel your juices already pour down to his balls.
«Wrap around me,» he moans faintly «please»
Your legs move on their own, the pain of your ankle shooting up to your leg. You grimace, eyes squeezed shut.
«Careful with your leg» the worry makes him still.
«Lay it on the pillow, up» he whispers, his hand reaching your calf to guide it back down. 
«Like this» he kisses your temple. You sigh when you feel the softness of the pillow and your weight supported, the pain untying a bit.
«Does it hurt?» his words soothe you and you open your eyes to look at his face. You shake your head.
«It was just for the movement. It’s going away now» you answer. Jungkook nods, his fingers brush away a little strand of hair that’s keeping your beautiful face away from him.
«Like this it’s good, is it okay for you?» he asks. His hand holds your hip, your leg wrapped around him, the other on the cushion and Jungkook’s cock buried deep inside you still. You can feel it throb even when it’s still, you wonder how is it possible that he’s holding himself back so much.
«It’s perfect» you whisper. His eyes, smile first, as they always do. His smile comes right after, and you don’t know if it’s the atmosphere or your vulnerability for everything that happened but it makes your heart swell. You want him around you, you want him everywhere, all over you, inside of you.
He looks down at you, moves his pelvis back and then forward again, you wrap your leg tighter around his waist. Your arms come around him, his passes under your back as the other stays on your hip, his cock rutting inside you makes you whimper. He kisses your neck, sucks on your skin, moans in your ears. 
«Love it so much,» he shivers, eyes closing from the pleasure «getting to have you like this» 
«Feels so good, Kook» you whine.
Jungkook fucks into you slow, but his motions are firm and he knows exactly where your buttons are. Apparently, it didn’t take much for him to learn, it seems like he knew them all along, from the first time. 
«Yeah?» he coos, his digits dig into your skin.
«Yes» you moan out loud, only guiding him closer. His cock is perfect. You love it, could never imagine a better dick. 
«Tell me, baby. Wanna hear you» he doesn’t stop, only squeezes you tighter. Your breasts against his hard chest, your nipples brushing against his skin, every curve of your body against his.
«Your cock is so perfect» you tell him. He wants to look down to where he’s inside of you but doesn’t want to miss a single thing, not even a crumb of the pleasure taking up your features.
«I love it so much, the best cock ever» your voice is muffled and your fist comes out from behind his neck to press against your lips as you speak. 
«Please don’t» he whines, looking down at you. 
«Wanna hear you, don’t hold back» 
Your fist goes away. Your fingers dig into his skin again, surrendering to his request and letting your voice come out free. 
Jungkook makes love to you. It’s so sweet and so slow but so good that you’re lost. Lost in him, lost in the feeling and the pleasure. 
«Keep your leg up» he instructs, letting your hip out of his grasp. He kisses your nose, his hand travels between your legs, his middle finger on your clit. 
«Oh, Jungkook, fuck» you wail, the pleasure adding up. He moves his finger in circles, up and down, from side to side, just like he did with his tongue before. It makes him jerk inside you, throb with every thrust, bite down on his lips as he looks at your face and feel your walls clench around him. Your mouth opens, eyes looking at him through your lashes, pillowy lips ready to be kissed. 
«I want to make you feel so good,» he groans, «want you to think about this when you’re alone» he moans. 
«I want you to give it to me, all to me. Mine» he whispers onto your lips, breath hot on your face.
«All mine» 
«Fuck, yes»
Your walls are so tight, pulsating so hard. 
His finger keeps rubbing your clit, he moans when he brings it a bit lower, feeling his cock pounding inside your pussy, your pussylips spread around him, your wetness gathering at the base of his cock. His balls slap on your ass, the sounds filthy and wet, so incredibly wet.
«I’m going to- yes, feels so good» you breathe hard, his finger back on your clit rubbing faster. Your legs shake and you feel his cock dripping precum in your cunt, all of his length pulsating. 
«I want you to look at me when you cum,» he pleads, tone shaky «please look at me» he whines. If you weren’t on the edge already, you think you would probably be just by the way he sounds. He’s so sexy you think you won’t ever be able to get over this. You’re going to think about this for sure, hell if you’re going to.
«Kook, I- I…»
«Ssh, let go. Just let go and look at me» he coos sweetly. He’s holding back, he’s trying so fucking much to hold back that his cock is over sensitive and he doesn’t think he will last much longer. Your walls squeeze him perfectly, so fucking soft and warm around him, so wet, so beautiful. 
«Give it to me, love» he doesn’t notice, not until he says it. It just slips out, naturally. You don’t say anything, head burying deeper in his pillow and your walls tightening around him.
You come all over his cock. Your juices make it harder for him to control his pace as you contract sp tightly all over him, his cock still moving inside of you, your arms wrapped around him. You’re trembling but you still find the strength to cup his cheeks, eyes looking at him for all the time just like he asked you to. You watch him as he moans, fucking into you with the same pace, his cock so hard. One of your hands travel down, between your bodies and down to his cock, his tight balls in your hand. You cup them, massage them a little. Jungkook’s features grimace, a loud whiny moan filling the air as your fingers on his cheek caress his skin.
«So beautiful. Cum for me, please» you plead. His heart beats so loud it’s going to explode, and a second later he’s shooting his cum right deep inside of you, hot, thick and long spurts of cum filling you up to the brim. His lips touch yours, as he keeps cuming. They brush against each other and a second later he’s succumbing to them, moaning into your mouth as his hips fuck his cum into your pussy, your leg still keeping him close and you fingers on his cheek. 
The kiss is slow and not really controlled, his tongue touches yours and brushes it, your lips eager for each other but moving slowly. It kills him, the way you wrap your arm around him to bring him closer as if he wasn’t all shattered into pieces already. 
You kiss for long, he still fucks himself into you slowly even after coming down from his high, your body still tight to him. When you part, you feel your chest on fire. His eyes look glossy, his lips red and wet, his baby hair sticking to his forehead. His movements stop, the last trace of a kiss on your clavicle right where it all started, and then he comes out of you. He lays beside you, eyes staring at your face. Silence fills the air, your breaths the only thing audible.
«Kook» you call.
«Yes?» he hums.
«I need another shower» you laugh.
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The atmosphere is odd. It’s thick. You want to go out of your bedroom and ask him what is going on exactly but for some type of reason, you’re holding back. There’s just something in the air.
Last week has been weird. 
You would come home when Jungkook was already there to find the dinner on the table, covered with a plate so it wouldn’t get cold, some days with a post it. 
I already ate, I’m going to bed, I’m a little tired.
I’m going out, but I cooked you dinner. Rest well.
Work was hard today, I’m going to sleep.
Since the two years you’ve been living together, you’ve always made sure that the one coming home later had something to eat, without having to cook when you’re both too tired. You do it for him too, when he comes home late. That’s what you did on Thursday and Friday, but when he came home you weren’t expecting him to literally eat and go to bed after putting his dish in the sink. 
The dinner was odd too, he made small talk, but there was something that didn’t feel right, as if it was a bit awkward. When you both stayed home on the weekend your friends filled the place on Saturday, and on Sunday, he just spent the day in his bedroom beside coming out to make lunch and dinner together.
You knocked on his door once or twice, asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or just chill together, but he said he was tired.
Something is off. Maybe he’s really tired, at dinner today he mentioned that work has been hard lately. 
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You start to wonder if you should be worried. If Jungkook is stressed and needs someone to talk too, if you’re being just a shitty friend and shouldn’t give him all this space, if you should grab him by the shoulders and tell him to talk to you about what is going on. He doesn’t seem to have closed up with your friends though, on five days he spent three evenings at their place this week. Maybe it’s just you seeing things.
You should talk to him, cause you’re worried, and you miss him. You miss your friend.
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«Jimin’s on his way too» Eunji announces, grabbing a pile of glasses. She places one for each of you on the table, then takes a look around.
«I think everything’s set?»
You nod, Hana and Jin appearing by your side with the side dishes. 
«Let’s put them on the table» Jin grabs six of them all together.
«Yah, don’t order us around. This is my house, not your restaurant» Yoongi slaps his hyung on the ass, his friend glaring at him. Hyunjoo shakes his head at the scene in front of her, her belly has just started to grow, three months into pregnancy. She looks so beautiful and happy that your heart throbs in happiness.
«Where are Namjoon and Jungkook?» she asks. 
«Namjoon will be here in ten» Hoseok answers.
«I’ll call Jungkook» you announce.
You’re about to go to get your purse, but the door rings, so you wander towards it. Jungkook stands behind it, soft hair reaching almost his shoulders, his bangs framing his pretty face. His eyes stare directly into yours, eyebrows cocked. 
«Oh, you’re here?» he asks, as if he wasn’t expecting it. He stays still on the doorway, hands by his sides. 
«Yes?» you smile as best as you can, not really knowing what to do.
«Everyone is here» you remind him. Jungkook nods eagerly.
«I know» he nods again. You move to the side to let him in. 
«I was about to call you» you say. He takes his coat off, hanging it with the others.
«I was stuck in traffic,» he shrugs «I thought it was the same for you, since you worked late too today» 
«Oh, no. I left earlier» he nods. And then, it’s silent again. You just stare at each other.
He doesn’t know. How to do this properly, how to go back to who he was, the friend you had before he realised it was too much to hold back. Every time he looks at you, it’s too much. He feels like you’re taking all the oxygen, leaving him with the smallest amount and not able to breathe properly. He tried. He really tried. He told himself that yes, it can be fixed. He repeats it to himself everyday, but something just makes him stop. He’s too… he guesses he just needs space. To get over you, to learn how to look at you differently, just like before he knew, when he was younger. Maybe he won’t ever be able to go back at that point, but at least to when it was bearable to look at you from afar and just have a small part of you? 
«Jungkookah!» Teahyung yells from the kitchen. Yoongi peeks out from the living room, he smiles brightly at his youngest friend, his arm wrapping around his shoulders. 
«Leave him alone, he just got here» he yells back at Taehyung. In a bunch of minutes, everyone is gathered in the living room, sitting on the carpet and ready to have dinner. It’s been a while since you all gathered to have dinner together, and the atmosphere is light. Everyone is laughing at something, new jokes being made and happiness shared. It makes you appreciate what you have, how every single person in this room means something to you, something beautiful. You’re lucky, very so.
But as you go on, you can’t help but go back to your old habits. Searching for Jungkook’s smile in the midst of the laughters, look for his eyes when you start to talk about something that happened to you during the day. You find him nodding at someone, eyes going back to his dish when you speak. And you can’t help but feel in the wrong. He’s mad at you, maybe you did something to make him upset, something that apparently is very much important to him. This has to be the reason why.
You realise how much you value him. His thoughts, his words, the way he makes you feel like there’s someone you can lean on, someone who’s got you. You realise how easy it is to enjoy his company, to feel happy thanks to him, to feel loved. And how cold it is without him, lost. 
You’ve always been inseparable, since you were sixteen and he was nineteen. Your pieces fixed together so perfectly that you didn’t have to worry about fighting with each other, cause you both knew that nothing was going to change between you. You went through so many things together that you can’t even remember all of them clearly now. He’s your safe place. And even though you know that this is perfectly fixable and actually nothing too dramatic, you just feel lost without his complicity. 
«Y/n?» Hyunjoo shakes his hand in front of your face, her striking smile brings you out of your thoughts. You nod.
«Oh, yes I’m listening»
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«You don’t know what you’re doing» Namjoon’s hand falls on Jungkook’s thigh, lightly slapping it. He shrinks on his side of the sofa, eyes shutting down.
«I know» he whines.
«That’s at least something» the hyung scoffs. 
«Did you talk?»
«No» he lets out. If it wasn’t already clear enough, Jungkook is in very much need of advices.
«We just…»
«What?»
«We don’t speak-» he stops to gulp «like we used to»
Namjoon can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
«What? Why?»
«Cause we simply don’t, it’s complicated»
«It really isn’t» he fights back, slapping his hand on his thigh for a second time.
«Why?»
Jungkook sighs. 
«I just… I think I need time to- get over her or whatever this is, I-»
«You have to talk to her, Jungkook,» he shakes his head, unbelievable «if you don’t, she’ll think there’s something wrong. You have to be clear and-»
«I can’t» he bites down on his lips, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. Sleep is getting to him and the fact that tonight he didn’t sleep well makes it even worse.
«I can’t tell her»
«It’s worse if you don’t! Your friendship is not going to be fixed magically» 
«That’s the reason why I need time» he blubbers. 
«And the reason why she’s looking so gloomy» Namjoon’s response dejects him even more.
«I know I’m being a dick,» he stares down at his feet in the slippers «but I can’t lose her»
Silence is the answer that accompanies him. The cheers coming from inside the room sound muffled, the light of the moon softly grazing his skin. Just the thought of you not by his side sends a shiver of fear through his spine. He doesn’t want to get to know what it is like to be without you, he can’t.
«Don’t you think that maybe a part of her… at least a small one-»
«No,» his voice is faint «not a small one, not even a bit» 
It stings. So fucking much, it burns. 
Namjoon sees it clearly, the pain written all over his features. To be truthful, he’s always noticed it, even when Jungkook didn’t know. He saw the way he looked at you, his smile when someone mentioned you, the way he would talk about you or what happened to you the day before, the way you made him laugh while doing the dishes, how he was ready to put you first, even before him. It actually makes it hard for him to understand, how it took all this time for Jungkook to realise. 
«Even when you were- like intimate?» 
Jungkook’s eyes shoot right to his hyung’s face. He always tries not to think about that, for as much as he can. Even though, some nights your hands on his skin haunt him, your moans in his ears, your taste on his lips.
«I don’t think so» 
«Did you kiss? Like, or I don’t know, was like- two friends having sex or- what was it like?» 
Jungkook wishes he didn’t ask. Cause bringing the thought of you looking so vulnerable and ready for him in his arms sends back feelings he tried so hard to hold back in the last two weeks. 
«It was…» he takes a deep breath, letting the air out from his mouth.
«Consuming» his breath gets stuck in his throat.
«We were just…» he shakes his head «it wouldn’t be the same for her. I loved it in a different way»
«Maybe,» Namjoon pats his shoulder gently «but how was she? Like, was she like the 
Y/n you always hang out with? Like- you know, how awkward it can be when two friends fuck, come on» he chuckles lightly, not really wanting to be explicit about the two of his best friends.
«She was sweet. Like, so sweet. The last time, she…» he closes his eyes, munching on his lips. The scene playing in his mind leaves him in agony, it’s pure torture to remember you in such a crude state, all for him.
«She was in pain. When she called and we were at Taehyung’s place-»
«That night?» Namjoon’s eyes shoot wide open, mouth hanging as the youngest nods.
«She was in pain, she hurt her ankle. But the way she looked at me, kept me close… the way she opened up to me just- it kills me to remember her in that way» he sniffs. His eyes are glossy. He wishes there would be a better way, an answer written somewhere, a safe recipe to follow. 
His friend understands that he can’t ask more. Jungkook is in pain. And he wishes he could do something about it, even though he knows he can’t. So he just hugs him, his hand patting the youngest head to comfort him at least a bit. 
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«Jungkook!» you yell from your living room. You’re tired. It’s becoming too much, and you need to talk, right now. 
You don’t hear any answer, so you stride to his room. The knock on his door makes him grimace, eyes staring directly at it.
«Come out,» you stare at the white wood, arms crossed in front of you «please» you add, voice softening.
He lets go of his clothes, laying the folded pieces on the bed more carefully than the others. 
«I cooked you dinner, I left a post it» the door opens, revealing him in all his height, hair still a bit wet from the shower. The black hoodie he’s wearing makes him look smaller and it involuntarily warms your heart a bit.
«You said you were going to sleep» you murmur.
«I am» he says.
«You’re not,» you shake your head «you’re mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Please, just tell me, it’s killing me» 
Jungkook stares at you blankly. His eyes scan your features for what seems to be an hour. He shakes his head slowly, guilt takes over him, the displeasure clear on his face. He softens, a step towards you and all of his defences fall down.
«I’m not mad at you» he’s sweet, voice covered in honey. 
«You aren’t?» your arms fall at your sides.
«You’re mad. There’s something off, you’ve been ignoring me for the last two weeks»
«I-» he cuts himself off, closes his eyes for a second. 
«I wasn’t… I…»
«Please, just talk to me» you plead. You can’t stand this atmosphere, not with him.
Jungkook shakes his head, his arms wrap around you in a tight embrace, it’s all he can do.
«I’m sorry. It’s just that work has been rough and I’m all over the place, just- I’m sorry» 
The knot in his throat is getting thicker, but he can’t say more. He knows he’s been a dick, a total idiot.
«You say that but I…» you shake your head on his shoulder, your arms move around him and you feel him sniff. 
«I promise there’s nothing wrong» he whispers, he moves his hand up and down on your back to soothe you, the other keeps you close.
«I’m sorry» 
«Talk to me» 
His hair tickle your skin, the itch makes you rub your face on his shoulder to tone it down and his hand fists the cloth of your shirt.
«If you feel like you need to vent or just… anything» your back shakes, and he knows you’re about to cry. Tears don’t fall though, you try as best as you can to not make your sensibility take over you even though your eyes are burning.
«Ssh, don’t cry, please» he sounds pleading, voice faint and shaky. It’s killing him for real, to not open up to the person he loves the most, you’re his best friend, his person. And he just wishes so much his feelings never showed up, that he didn’t look at you so differently from the way you look at him. 
«I will. I will, I promise» he blows. 
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The atmosphere in your house feels light. It’s back to normal, with Jungkook walking around the place on a Thursday night, his voice echos in the kitchen as he wipes the floor, one of the songs he’s been listening to lately getting sung over and over again. 
«Jungkook, you need to see this» you call from the sofa. His eyes travel to where you are, the light of the kitchen shines stars in his irises and the beanie he’s wearing makes him look so cute. He leaves the broom carefully balanced on the side of the counter, his feet tiptoeing towards your spot. He squats down, eyes squinting at your phone.
«Woah!» his excitement makes you giggle as his hands zooms in the picture. 
«It’s our niece? I need to call Yoongi hyung! Did he send it to you?» 
You nod, a big smile on your face.
«Wait, how do you know it’s a girl?» 
Jungkook shakes his head.
«I can feel it» he beams.
«Where is my phone?» 
«I think you left it on the sink» you answer. He nods eagerly, getting back up. The way he hops all the way to the sink makes your turn and laugh, he’s so dorky you want to slap his cute little ass. 
«Fuck, I stepped on the dirt!» he whines, stopping right away. You laugh even harder, hands grabbing your stomach as he huffs and gets his phone. He comes back to the couch, falling on it with a thud and raising his feet on his knee. 
«Don’t do it here!» you scold, still laughing. He simply giggles, wagging his toes at you.
«Clean it for me?» he laughs. You want to puke.
«Ew! What’s wrong with you?» he laughs so hard you start laughing again too, looking at him as he just simply wipes it on the carpet. You roll your eyes, pinning a mental note to vacuum it later.
«Aigoo, I never walk without slippers and now this happens» he complains, shaking his head. 
He quickly finds his hyung’s contact and puts the call on speaker. 
«Jungkookah» Yoongi’s voice fills the room, the younger smiles brightly at the screen.
«My hyung is going to be a dad! Yah! Bring us out for dinner» you slap his thigh, glaring at him. Yoongi laughs, totally expecting his request.
«I will. You saw the ultrasound?» 
«Of course I did,» he nods «I feel like it will be a girl. Am I right?»
«We don’t know yet. It’s too soon, but I don’t think so. Hyunjoo says it’s a boy» 
«Really?» he narrows his eyes. 
«How was it?» you ask, the excitement is uncontainable. You’re so happy for your friends, can’t wait to meet the little one.
«I cried,» he laughs, «I thought I would hold it in but I cried. Fuck, I’m so happy Y/n» 
«I know,» you chuckle «how are the cravings?» 
«Ugh, getting worse» he whines.
«I came home and she was eating pickled cucumbers,» he moans out of disgust «made me go back to the supermarket cause she needed mustard. Couldn’t she just send me a text before» he shakes his head even though you can’t see him.
Jungkook chuckles, his body getting limp on the cushions.
«That’s what you get for making me clean the ten servings of noodles you spilled the other day» 
«Yah! I had to set the table!» 
«You were the one who spilled all!» he fights back.
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Jungkook is really trying. And it’s going fine, it’s not hard to enjoy his days with you, it is never been. You just have chemistry together, you laugh almost all the time and never find it boring to be together. It’s just. 
It’s just the way his eyes linger on your rosy cheeks too much, he has to remind himself to look away, back to the movie playing on your tv. Or last night, when you were dancing to your favourite girl group’s new song, the way your lips curved into a beautiful smile, hair flying in the air and he had to hold back his smile, too big.
If he looks back to all these years, it makes him laugh, how fucking long it took him to realise how much you had of him. You spent entire days together and he would still do the same as he does now, stare at you mindlessly just for the sake of admiring you, then getting back to what was happening around him. It’s always been here, this feeling. It just took him so much to come to surface and even when it did he tried so hard to make it go away, push it down inside him until it became too much too bear and it hit as fucking hard as what you mean to him. All he repeats to himself is that he just has to do what he’s been doing all along, right? He lived with this for years, a day more won’t hurt him. 
«What are we doing tomorrow?»
He eats the last bite of pizza, cleaning his hands with the tissue.
«Yoongi’s taking us out for dinner» you answer, getting up to clean around. You grab the boxes and the glasses, the coke under your arm.
«We have to go grocery shopping» he adds. He sees you nod, you put the boxes on the counter and the glasses in the sink, make sure the coke is well closed and then put it in the fridge. It’s almost empty, the redness of the gochuchang box parked on the first shelf stands out too much with nothing beside it.
«Yes» you nod. 
«Are we going early? We can have breakfast out» 
He gets up from his spot, waddling to you. A big smile is all you need to understand his answer. Breakfasts out are the best. 
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Breaksfast out means getting up on time. Something you both struggle with, since you spent yesterday night awake until late. Jungkook has the tendency of staying in bed until he’s at least a bit awake, staring blankly at something as he sits up, eyes puffy and hair messy. You just storm out of the bed knowing that if you don’t you’ll fall asleep again in a matter of seconds. 
You knock on his door, no answer in sight. 
«Jungkook!» you call again. You hear the shuffles of the covers, his cute mumbling words that haven’t been invented yet.
«Get ready, let’s go have breakfast» you say. You hear him moan as he stretches, take it as your chance to go back to your room and shower. 
It takes you both twenty minutes to kind of be ready for your day, your eyes both puffy and a bit red. You decide to go to your favorite cafe and when you arrive a wave of excitement washes over you. It’s been so long since you had a nice and relaxed breakfast outside, the feeling of being free the whole day and not having to worry too much. Jungkook watches you smile as you order and play with your phone as you both wait for your food, his pinkish lips curling up into a beam. It feels good to see you like this; relaxed, happy. It reminds him of when you were younger, with less burden on your shoulders. 
When you go grocery shopping together it usually ends up with him pushing the cart and you filling it up, he points at a snack from time to time and you end up adding it to the rest. You come home for lunch, watch a movie right after until your eyes start to fall shut, so you decide it’s time to take a nap. Jungkook stays on the couch, wanting to see how it ends. You fall asleep well, sleep for two hours straight until your alarm rings. Silence fills the house when you wake up and you guess your friend is probably napping too, so you tiptoe out of your bedroom to get a snack, until you hear him.
He’s working out judging from his grunts coming from the bedroom in front of you. You’re used to it, Jungkook likes to stay active and just fills his time like this from time to time when he has time. 
Just, this time your mind wanders. You hear his sounds, picture him sweaty and with his muscles flexing, his eyes focused and his jaw clenched, his breath rough… until you’re wet, pulsating. You hold your breath, close your eyes. And you go back to your room, shut the door.
Scenes of him eating you out play right in front of your eyes, his moans. You end up on the bed, your trousers off and your panties pushed on the side of your lips. There were times when the thought of him in this way turned you on after you stared fucking but you always pushed them away, telling yourself that it’s not right. Just, this time they hit you harder. It’s been a while since you had sex and the way he sounded just makes you want to open his door and… you shouldn’t do that. Just focus on you, you think. 
Your fingers graze your clit, go lower to get your wetness on your fingers then go back to their initial place. You see him between your legs, his fingers inside you and his dark doe eyes staring directly at you. You hear him whisper, telling you how good you take his cock, how your pussy wraps so good around it, how good you make him feel.
The image of his cock fills your mind, leaving you with the need to suck it and hallow your cheeks around it, his grunts filling up your ears, the sweetest sound ever. You feel his fingers, delicate and warm, they touch you and caress you, his kisses on your lips. 
You see him on top of you, telling you to be careful with your ankle, eyes worried and arms wrapped around you. You feel loved, for a second. A kind of love that doesn’t belong to a friend. You feel admired, beautiful. The way he looks at you with pure affection makes you hiss, his words in your ear and your bodies tight. 
Feels so good, getting to have you like this.
See him pounding into you at the slowest pace, his fingers gracing your clavicle, his hair on your shoulder. The way he checks in with you to make sure that you’re enjoying this as much as him, begging you not hold back your moans.
Gonna give my baby what she needs.
You shiver, legs shaking. 
His fingers on your clit, his cock brushing against your walls with each thrust, his whines. The way he called you. 
Ssh, let go, his voice faint as the pleasure takes over him, his balls tight, give it to me, love. You cum, silent and incredibly hard your orgasm hits you like a wave during a thunderstorm, impossible to hold back and too good to decline. 
You lay on the bed, breath stuttered and eyes shut. Your heart beats too loud. 
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The first time you had sex it just happened. You don’t know what exactly went through your mind, the reason why you had to start it all; your body moved on its own. Jungkook was tired, arrived late at home and was sleepy. You cooked him dinner, kept him company while he ate even though you had dinner already. You listened to him whine about his day, the tiredness evident in his voice. A few minutes later you were on the way to your bed, already too intertwined with each other and with the new feeling bubbling up between you to stop whatever the hell was happening. 
The second time, it was pretty much just the same, you didn’t go to each other with the intent of fucking, but you ended up just like that, with his cock in your mouth and his eyes on your face. 
The third time, it was because you ended up talking about what was happening and how you should behave, how you should keep your friendship away from your rendezvous. It stared just like that, but again, you didn’t really behave that much.
And then, the last time. 
You never once went to each other with the intention of fucking. You wonder when is it going to happen again, in what way, the reason that could start it all. Would it be so bad if you just grabbed him and started it? Does that make your relationship different ? It would, you guess. But is it any different not looking for it but don’t say no when it happens? You don’t even know why you’re thinking about such questions, when you should be focusing on work. Today was stressful, you had a ten minutes lunch break because you had to go back to the papers on your table. You’re tired and your period is on the way which is probably the main reason why you’ve been feeling horny for the last four days. You should just leave it as it is or take care of it on your own, not really into casual sex with strangers or clubs. You wish you were more like Hana sometimes, enterprising and more likely to be ready to have some fun before she used to date Jin.
Your phone rings, displaying Jungkook’s name.
«Hey» you answer. 
«I’m bored» he whines from the other side. You picture him with his head falling back and his eyes shut, pouty lips.
«What should I do?» he stretches the last word out, childish tone. 
«Cook me dinner please?» you try. 
«Already did,» he huffs «when are you coming home?» 
«I have so much work to do, I don’t know» 
He whines again, leaned on his stomach his cheek is squashed against the cushion of your couch, arms by his sides and his legs kicking the air. 
His voice comes out muffled: «Please, I’m so bored» he complains. 
«Jungkook, I’m working» you sigh.
«Can I come?» he stares at the screen pleadingly, his ankles crossing as he flexes his toes. He eagerly takes the phone in his hands, eyes stuck on your name. He had a long day today, and even though he wishes he could go to bed already even though it’s only 8 pm, he’s not feeling sleepy nor tired, quite the opposite actually. Being alone in the living room is boring him too much, and he doesn’t feel like going to to someone else’s place, giving the usual noisy meeting they usually have. He just wants to relax, but not on his own. 
«Kook-»
«I’ll let you work, I promise» he begs, «I just want company»
If he could be an emoji, he’d probably be the one with the moist pleading eyes. You know it, the expression he makes when he craves for something, and that’s exactly your weak point.
A deep sigh makes his way out of your mouth, he can hear it from the phone. Silent follows right after.
«Okay, bring me food though please? I’m starving» 
«Yes!» he punches the air with a fist.
«I’ll be there in ten, I think. Just text me what you want to eat»
«The dinner you already made?» you ask. Jungkook licks his lips, this time the silence fills his part of the call.
«Okay, then be there in twenty I guess» he huffs.
You shake your head, what a moron.
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You realise in this period you’re really all over the place. And you also ponder, how long is it been since you had sex with someone? Not Jungkook, someone else. Jungkook is your friend, you shouldn’t think about him when you’re touching yourself to get some stress out or just when you’re craving for sex. It’s not right, it’s not the place of a friend. It’s making you stressed, to think about sex and link it to his face in your mind. You shouldn’t have done it in the first place, you think. You also thought about telling him that it can’t happen again, but it seems like it’s not going to happen anyway. You’re glad. 
So for once, tonight you let Eunji and Hana take you to a club, with just the intention of trying to take your mind off of it. Your methods didn’t work until now, so maybe theirs will. Your friends know you too well though.
«There’s something wrong, I smell your frustration from here» Eunji inhales dramatically, a grimace forms on her face right after.
«Ew, it smells bad. Like onion and soju mixed together» she likes her tongue out disgusted. You laugh, Hana shakes her head.
«That’s the guy behind you» she points at the man dancing his ass out on his own, totally drunk.
«For real though, what’s wrong?» 
Both of their eyes linger on you. You sigh.
«Just feeling a bit overwhelmed» you shrug. Your friendship it’s deep, meaningful, full of memories, you know you could tell everything to them and they would understand. You could even tell them about the rendezvous you had with Jungkook, but that would put you and him in a not so comfortable position with your friends, the last thing you want is for them to think that you have sex with each other consistently. 
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» you announce. Eunji coughs on her drink, Hana’s eyes shoot right open. They stare at you as if you have two heads, still on the dance floor. 
«Oh, come on! It’s not that shocking. I-»
«We need to sit» Hana takes you by the hand, Eunji following right after. The couches are not really big, but you fit into one without any problems. The people are less here, the smell of alcohol and sweat too, thankfully. 
Their attention goes back to you; «Is he someone we know?»
«Why would you? No,» you shrug «you don’t know him»
«Is he good?» Eunji sips from her drink. That’s a weird question, not the one you would firstly expect from her.
«What? Why?» 
«You seem stressed and you said it yourself that you’re overwhelmed, so it’s either one of the two: he’s so fucking good that you can’t stop thinking about it or he totally sucks» straight to the point. Hana caresses your shoulder, glaring at Eunji for her ways even though you know that deep inside her she wants to laugh.
«No! He’s- I mean, he’s… good. It’s something else that bothers me»
«What?» Hana coos.
«He’s my friend, and it just happened. Different times» you explain.
«So you’re fuck buddies now?» Eunji raises her eyebrows.
«No! It just happened, we don’t do it often. I just… I don’t know how to explain it, it’s not like we see each other in that way. We have a good friendship, like- we value each other. Every time it happened, it’s not like we were expecting it or-»
«That’s worse, I guess» she shakes her head. You’re about to say something, but her words leave you wordless. 
«What, why?»
«Listen, I don’t think you can be friend and still sleep with him. If you had sex, that means you’re attracted to each other. Even if it’s not in a romantic way, it just… If it just happened, girl, there was sexual tension between you. I guess» she adds the end just because your expression is giving her shivers. The look on your friends’ faces screams panic.
«It would be better if you had a clear answer on what you are. Like… mmh, you know I’m bad at explaining things!» she whines, «Hana, please help»
Your friend sighs.
«Y/n, is this thing still happening? Like, are you still sleeping together?»
You shrug.
«It’s been a while,» you let out «actually, that’s the problem»
«You want to-»
«No, I don’t» you cut her off.
«I realised that it’s getting too much. Like, I think of him too much in a sexual way it’s making me feel uncomfortable»
«That’s what I meant» Eunji nods. 
«I’ve been there. Remember Hyun?» she chuckles. 
Of course you remember him. The guy was not really close to her, but it was the start of a friendship still. They used to have sex everywhere, their friendship ended up with them fucking each others brains out, after two months, they couldn’t bare it anymore. The atmosphere was heavy, too much sexual tension without even really having a conversation. The fact that Jimin started to find interest in Eunji made her end it even faster.
«We’re not like that though. We have a good friendship, we trust each other and-»
«And you have sex. Not regularly, it happens without any expectations. So it means that you don’t see each other as fuckbuddies, but there’s sexual tension. That’s the base for a relationship. If you put sex into the mix, you end up with butterflies in your stomach. I’m just saying that if you value him that much you should be careful. Understand what you want» her voice softens at the end, but you’re too upset by her words to notice. Eunji hates to be the one saying this, but she has to try at least. You need to know what you’re doing, set some boundaries wether you decide to do something or the other. 
«Y/n, you know that we love you. Eunji’s just trying to-»
«I know» you nod, a knot in your throat. 
«I just… I need to go home, need to clear my mind and sleep over it» you sigh, monotone. Your hand grabs the pochette laying by your side, eyes scamming the club that suddenly seems to little. You shouldn’t have slept with him in the first place. You know that you don’t feel feelings towards him, but thinking about him in such ways… it makes you feel guilty, like your friendship could lose its meaning, like it’s stained. Like it could get out of control. It’s too much to think about him when you’re alone deep at night, like the last one, his face invading your mind when your fingers are deep inside you, even though you’re trying not to picture him. 
«Now?» Hana asks, the worry in her eyes is clear. A glance towards Eunji and they’re both nodding, communicating with each other without having to speak. They know you too well, they could see the panic in your eyes even with theirs closed. 
The way back home it’s short, the music playing in Eunji’s car does nothing to ease your mind even though it’s your favorite girl group, your friends glance at you from time to time from the rear view mirror. When you get off and say goodbye, they wait for you to shut the door behind you to look at each other, eyes wide open and jaw hanging. 
«Jungkook» the name is crystal clear, both of them letting it out with a shocked expression.
«It’s fucking Jungkook» Hana nods.
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Jungkook didn’t think that coming back home early meant this. 
You said you had company, texted him twenty minutes before he got off work, but he wasn’t expecting this kind of company. He was expecting Eunji and Hana, maybe Taehyung or some of your friends, a coworker maybe. Definitely not you getting fucked in your bedroom by someone he can’t identify. 
This is torture, it’s all he can think. When he arrived nothing seemed weird or odd, expect for the fact that he found the living room empty. As he started getting closer to his bedroom, he realised. And fuck, the slap he got on his face, the punches that hit him on the stomach and on his chest left him breathless, his injuries in pain and itching, his eyes shutting. 
This is torture, it really is. 
He moves from the hallway, goes to the bathroom to wash his hands and wet his face with cold water.
He can’t stay here, not in such a moment. Not when he can hear you like this, with someone else. It hurts. Fuck, it fucking hurts, it stings, it tears him wide open all the way from the inside to the last layer of his skin. His eyes burn, lips twitch. And suddenly, he’s sobbing. Sobbing in his bathroom, his reflection pitiful and broken. His breath is rough, cheeks stained from the tears, vision foggy. A whimper comes out of his mouth and he bites on his lower lip, repeating to himself that it’s okay. But it’s really not.
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Jungkook’s eyes are swollen, puffy. You think it’s because he’s still half asleep, but when you meet his eyes you’re taken aback. He looks tired, as if he didn’t sleep well, but they’re a bit red. He cried? You didn’t hear him coming in yesterday night, you knew he worked late and left him dinner ready, but when you woke up today his food was just where you left it, the table still set. 
«Kook?» you coo from the counter. He hums in return, head hanging low on his shoulders and eyes staring down at his legs, he sits on the couch with the tv playing in front of him. 
You turn around, wash your hands quickly and dry them with a paper towel. You tiptoe to the sofa, glance at him from the side. Your senses are tingling, there’s something wrong. 
«Kook, look at me?» you ask sweetly. He stays still, fingers fidgeting on his lap. He thought you were still sleeping, his room felt too tight to stay in it any longer. He wishes you had different opinions on open spaces, when you were looking for a house. Maybe you wouldn’t have seen him with a wall dividing the living room from the kitchen, and he would be tiptoeing back to his bed already.
«Please?» you try. 
It’s to no use. All you can do is gulp, worried for what’s going on.
«Is something wrong?» you ask.
«Did something happen?» 
He doesn’t answer. He knows if he opens his mouth now he will start crying again. Maybe you should just sit beside him and wait for him to open up. You turn around the table, take a sit next to him and pat him on his shoulder. 
«Koo» you call again. He doesn’t even look at you. Your hand stays there, trying to give him some comfort but it only makes him want to break in a loud cry. 
«Please» you whisper. 
Yesterday, he thought about going over to Namjoon’s place or just anyone else’s, but he didn’t want to show how miserable he was. Thankfully, that guy was out ten minutes later. What a fucking joke, if he found just a bit more traffic coming home he wouldn’t be feeling like shit now. 
Your hand leaves him, you get up and for a second his lips tremble, his walls falling down as he thinks you’re giving him some space. But then, you kneel down. In front of him, right between his legs with your fucking beautiful eyes staring at him. Your expression changes; the worry gets more urgent, pressing. 
«What happened?» you’re breathless. You’ve never seen him like this, it scares the shit out of you and he can see it perfectly. You reach your arms around him, his breath cuts off.
«Don’t» he whines, voice faint, pleading. You don’t understand what is happening, your head is spinning. You put your arms back down.
«Talk to me» you whisper. He has tears in his eyes, his lips are red as if he’s been biting them all night long. He turns to the side, his eyes burn when he stares at the wall without blinking. His lips tremble. 
«Koo, please. I’ve got you»
The dim breaks. His chest shakes, expression contorting as the first tears start coming out. He sobs faintly, shakes his head to himself and looks down to the ground. It’s physically painful, to see him hurting this much; you wish you could take it all away from him and make it yours, if only that was possible you’d do it even if it hurt ten times more. It couldn’t hurt more than this, though.
Your hands wrap around him, holding him so tight to you that you feel his sobs vibrate against you. 
«I’ve got you» you soothe him, caressing his hair. With your warmth around him and your caresses, everything falls down into pieces. Every part of him breaks harder, the tear gets wider and deeper, your words of reassurance fill the wounds up but don’t sew them, they just make them heavier to the point that they pierce him and make him empty. Your hold suffocates him and your warmth is painful, your caresses bluffer him. 
«I- I c- Please I-» he shakes in your hold, not able to speak. Your eyes burn, seeing him like this it’s atrocious. 
«Breathe» you beg, holding him tighter.
«Please breathe for me Jungkook, breathe» 
He hears how your voice is shaking, sniffles as he tries to breathe properly, sobs bubble up from his chest when he inhales. Your cheek brushes against his neck, you leave a kiss out of comfort and his hands instinctively fist your shirt. He tells himself to slow down, think properly and hold back but with your loving arms around him it’s a nightmare.
«Ssh, it’s okay. I promise» you whisper. Time slows down, you just focus on his breathing. One thing at a time, you tell yourself. You, need to calm him down first, you need to see him breathing properly, at least a bit lucid. Stroking his back up and down you think about what you can do to make him relax. You’ll make him some tea as soon as he’s doing better, it will soothe him at least a little bit.
«I’m here for you» 
Jungkook’s breath moderately calms down,  his sobs still come from time to time, but you have all the time in the world. You don’t care about how long it’s going to take him to stop crying, you just know that you want to be here, need to. It’s desperate, the need you have to make him feel better, almost consuming.
«I’m- ngh- I’m sorry» he hiccups. He buries is face in the crook of your neck, his cheeks are still wet and his hair tickle you.
«So sorry- I’m really-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» you repeat. You keep stroking his hair, Jungkook seems to quite down the more you do it, his hold gets firmer too as if he’s trying to anchor himself. 
«Did something bad happen?» you try. 
He moves in your hold, making you squeeze him tighter until you realise that he’s looking for a way out, so you let go. He wishes it was this easy, that his feelings could let him free just as easy. With you between his legs,  it gets hard to breathe again. The way your eyes linger on his face, scan every feature and every expression, even the way he bites the inside of his cheek. 
«I… I’m sorry» he mumbles low. This time, his eyes look at you. Clear, transparent, vibrant fear lingers in them with so much weight that it takes away your braveness. Jungkook’s eyes stay in yours even while they fill up with tears again, they don’t budge. The knot in his throat gets back, your presence suddenly feels blissful and he wishes he could just linger in this feeling. The feeling of you being close even if it’s only like this, keep being satisfied with only having a part of you.
«It’s- too painful» he breathes. 
«What is it?» you look at him from down, with your glassy eyes and he just-
«I- I… I love you» his voice trembles. 
Silence fills the room.
His words make a dull sound in your head, your body stiffens, lips ajar. Jungkook is frightened, totally stuck in place. His heart beats so fucking loud that it will explode.
The shock it’s too big and it stops you from letting the three words sink in, all you can do is stare at him blankly as he holds his heart in front of you.
«I’m- I can’t,» he shakes his head «it’s too much. I just… it’s killing me» 
«You…» you gulp «you don’t mean it that way, right?» your voice trembles.
«It’s just- we-» you shake your head, take in a deep breath.
«We shouldn’t have- it’s because we had sex. It has to be because of that cause you didn’t-» you stop talking. 
Jungkook stays silent, his chest burns, the tears in his eyes get uncontainable, until he breaks again. His shoulders tremble and he sniffs but it’s so silent that it’s even more consuming. He looks at you with such eyes, such vulnerability and fear at the same time, as if he was a stray puppy and you his possible saviour or his next predator. It scares you. And you understand his answer, because you know him, because it can be seen from miles away. 
It’s not because you slept together.
«I need-» it’s hard to breathe properly «I need air» 
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He’s confused, he mistook his emotions, most surely. It has to be that. How can- how can it be not? You’re his friend, his best friend. The one he likes to tease, the one that knows him almost as deep as he knows himself. The person he- this can’t be right. It simply can’t.
You can’t come back home. You really can’t, he needs space to think this through; you need it. You need peace, somewhere to relax, to just don’t think. If you go to Eunji’s place maybe- she will ask. Hana too, and what about Jin and Jimin? Maybe a hotel room is the best choice, in that way you won’t receive questions, no one will get curious. 
Thank god you had your phone in your pocket when you went out and weren’t wearing home clothes. You book an hotel room not too far, call a cab since you left your car keys at home. 
You can’t face him now. 
You walked a lot today, wandered around without a destination and ended up sipping a bottle of strawberry mogu mogu on Han river. Your phone buzzed at lunch time, then again at four pm, another time just fifteen minutes ago, but you didn’t take it out of your pocket. It scares you, because you know that it’s him. 
Your hotel room is a beautiful one, has a big double bed with fluffy pillows, big bathtub, snacks in the fridge, a beautiful view on the eighteenth floor. The big buildings and the city lights make you feel small, the look of the man at the reception desk too. He probably doesn’t care about the reason why you’re here instead of sleeping at home, but your mind does. Maybe then, you’re the one who makes yourself feel small. Still, you don’t want to care. You can’t go back home, not now. What would you do? What would you tell him, how would he look at you? You need time. 
When you lay on your bed, your phone buzzes again. You breathe in as you open the messages.
From Jungkook🐰 12.37pm
I’m sorry. I cooked you lunch, I left the food in the oven so it will still be warm when you come back. I ate early to give you some space. I’m really sorry
From Jungkook🐰 4.13pm
Where are you? Please be safe. Your car is here, do you want me to come and pick you up? Or I can call a taxi. Just, please be safe
From Jungkook🐰 7.54pm
Y/n, I’m worried. It’s dark outside and I went out to look for you but I just don’t know where you are. I cooked you dinner, so if you come back it will be in the oven too. Just text me so I know that you’re safe at least, please
From Jungkook🐰 8.33pm
I’m really sorry, please come home. I’ll go to Taehyung’s place if you need to be alone. Where are you? It’s dark outside and I’m really worried
Guilt takes over you, makes his way through every single part of your body until there’s not a single piece of your skin that isn’t drenched with it. Your fingers move on the keyboard, eyebrows pinched together.
From Y/n🧸 8.36pm
I’m safe. I booked a hotel room for tonight, so don’t worry. I need a bit of space, so I don’t think I will be back tomorrow. 
Jungkook’s fingers never typed an answer so fast.
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
I was so scared that something happened
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
Please eat dinner and don’t skip your meals
From Jungkook🐰 8.37pm
I won’t text you if you need space. Just, do you want me to bring you your car keys? You left them here
From Y/n🧸 8.39pm
No, it’s fine. 
From Jungkook🐰 8.39pm
Okay
From Jungkook🐰 8.45pm
I know you don’t want to talk right now, but I just need to tell you this: I will always have my arms empty for you, whenever you need a safe space I will be here. As we’ve always done with each other. Please remember this. Sleep well 
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You wonder how is it possible, to be friends with someone for so long and don’t notice that there’s more. You wonder when it begun, how. Where did the friendship end and the love begin, the boundaries. Which one of his gestures where made out of friendship, which were made out of love. How did he realise. Why you. 
For the three days after you left home, all you told yourself was that he was confused, that he mistook his feelings, that it can’t be true. After you spent yesterday night walking in the streets, took another walk on the Han river and even dared to eat dinner on the riverside, a good look at the waters took your mind back to his eyes. To the way he looked at you, his eyes clear, transparent and full of vulnerability and fear when he opened up to you. What if, he’s always been in love with you, it’s always been this way. What if he’s not misinterpreting his feelings, what if he really loves you. 
It scared you even more than the day before.
You never saw him that way, your friendship has always been just friendship for you. Until- well, it’s still friendship. Eunji wouldn’t say so, but for you it is. So where does love start for you? With attraction most of all, you guess. With the want and the need to feel someone in more ways, physically, emotionally, sentimentally. With wanting to be whole. Love is… butterflies, feeling loved, giving love, taking care of each other. So where is the boundary? The boundary of friendship. 
Because fuck, today you start to wonder, you think that Eunji is right. 
What do friends do? Are you not allowed to feel all of that and still call it just friendship? What if, what if you are the one mistaking yourself? What if it’s something else, what if it’s not just friendship anymore. When did it start, when does it end. You’ve always craved this things with Jungkook. Always craved for physical touch, maybe not in a sexual way before, but what if you just didn’t ponder on it too much because you’ve always restrained yourself into thinking that you were just friends. You’ve felt the need to share, to the point that you got a home with him. You’ve always wanted him emotionally, always were ready for him in whatever occasion, always felt close to him. You’ve always felt loved, you’ve always gave love back. You always took care of each other with all yourselves.
Would you do all of that for any of your friends, for Taehyung, or Namjoon maybe? 
You’re not too sure. You don’t think so.
Is it the same with them? Of course not. You would do anything for them, but you guess it’s not in the same way, not as deeply.
What about before, even before the first time you had sex. Because maybe, it could be that you’re thinking this just because you slept together? Like, you could be the one mistaking your emotions now. 
You still felt this kind of connection before, though. With the Jungkook who was just your best friend. You don’t feel it for Namjoon who’s just your friend. You don’t feel that kind of tight embrace around you when he lingers his eyes on you for too much, his laughter doesn’t make you giggle like Jungkook’s. You don’t feel lost when he’s not talking to you or not meeting your eyes when you look at him. You wouldn’t want to have anything more with him in the first place, cause he’s just Namjoon. And for god’s sake, you wouldn’t have wanted it with Jungkook neither, if you didn’t feel already more. The fact that you were already ready to just welcome him in when the opportunity of being closer knocked on your door, well… that’s the answer. You still remember it, the frustration of seeing him so tired and the need to make him feel better after a shitty day, the need you had to take care of him when you first slept together. 
You were never just friends. Maybe in the first place, maybe at the beginning, maybe when you were younger. You just simply got used to him and his presence, never really gave your eyes a chance to see clearly, never really made yourself look at him differently because he was just… your Jungkook. 
But, what now? Is he still- Jungkook? Like, your best friend? Now that you realised, now that you understand the reason why you wondered when the next time was going to be, how; the reason why his eyes slipped in your mind at night, his words, the way he called you the last time you slept together. 
Now that you realise that, could you go back to who you were before? Just, craving for his touch but telling yourself that it’s not okay, looking at him and wishing you could take away all of his tiredness but thinking that it’s normal, for a friend. Wanting to take every part of him and know it all, looking from far away, peeking out and stealing some but not getting it whole. Could you still do that? Cause before, you didn’t know at least. Now, could you? Sentimentally too, would you be okay with it?
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Jungkook just wants to go to sleep and forget about the shitty day he had. He didn’t sleep well tonight, the house feels to empty without you and last night his brain just wouldn’t stop working, kept wondering about you. If you had dinner, what time did you go to sleep at, how much did you work, if you finished the last drama you were watching. 
Today, it was pretty much just the same. The fear of you not coming back insinuated in his mind at some point during work, he even took a break and had a snack but he just kept picturing himself inside your house, all alone. Him without you, his best friend and his person. He typed on your chat for multiple times, asking you if you were eating your meal correctly, how work was going, if you were craving for ice cream just like he was, he texted sorry too, but he always ended up not sending the messages. 
He’s tired, work was rough and he wishes he could just go back in time to ask you what you want to eat for dinner, he’d cook it even though he’s tired as hell. He wouldn’t sleep for three days straight, if that would be able to bring you back just to have dinner together. 
He hates to know that you feel uncomfortable with him, can’t come back home because he’s there, that you won’t look at him in the same way as you did before. He hates to not have you by his side, when just a look could make him happy. 
The guys packed him on the shoulder, told him that he did the right thing, but he doesn’t think so. These days have been hell. There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about the way you looked at him, how he stuttered those words out and doesn’t regret it. 
Today they all had lunch together, with Eunji, Hana and Hyunjoo too. It was so odd to not see you there that he kept spacing out all the time. The girls didn’t talk about you and he even though he wanted to he didn’t ask because probably you didn’t tell them what happened.
The elevator doors open and the end of the hallway looks so far from here that he wishes he could teleport. Even the passcode of your door seems too complicated to enter now. He types the first three numbers, his eyes glued on the screen.
The door clicks, a grimace on his face, lips pouty in confusion. Then, your face. 
Jungkook looks at you as if you hung the stars in the sky, as if you were one of them. His eyes open wider, lips ajar, his shoulders fall down. He feels like he’s dreaming. Is it real? You’re home. When did you come, why? What- fuck, he feels like he’s going to cry.
The way he looks at you with his big starry eyes, it makes you gulp. How your fingers tingle for the need you feel to squeeze him tight and never let go. There’s a knot in your throat and all you can do is stare at him and linger in the feelings that hit you like a fucking bucket of cold water. And it’s bitter that they taste like they always did: the sweetness is the same, the audacity just bolder now that you let the door open: but they taste just the same. All this time, all these years. They’ve always been in front of you, you’ve always been way to deep and only realised after so much. 
«I… I- I cooked you dinner» 
He doesn’t budge, still on the doorway and with his eyes glossy. You reach your hand to him, Jungkook still stuck in place as you gently grab his wrist to make him come in, his body almost stumbling at your touch as he enters.
You close the door behind him, leave his wrist. 
«You- you… what? Are you…» he shakes his head, totally astonished. 
«You cooked?» his tone makes your lips stretch into a smile.
«I cooked,» you nod «I cooked us dinner» 
You didn’t think your heart could beat this fast. You really didn’t notice it for all this time. Every time it happened you always blamed it on something else, not the man in front of you. When his words would make you feel comforted, when you’d search for his eyes in the room, when just his presence was enough to make you feel at ease; in every moment the emotion you’re feeling now would bubble up in your chest just for you to push it aside without even noticing, a tag with the label friendship covering its true pinkish colour.
«Take your coat off» you coo. Jungkook stands still for a few seconds, still stunned. His eyes stare at you blankly until he nods. He puts his bag on the ground and hangs his jacket, you watch him move, eyes lingering on every part of him that you missed too much. His long hair, the bangs on his forehead, the mole on his nose, the one right under his lips. When he raises his eyes and finds you staring, you don’t move your eyesight. His eyes pierce right through you, deep and transparent just like the last time. They are scared, vulnerable and totally defenceless; if you looked closely enough, maybe you would’ve always seen it. 
«Jungkook, I…» 
His arms wrap around you. 
It’s tight and soothing and the fucking consuming. You squeeze him in your hold, your head falls on his shoulder and you know that you can’t hold it in any longer. 
«I’m so sorry,» you sniff «I was selfish. I’m sorry. I- I just-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» he sniffs too. The tears burn his eyes as he tries to keep them in but having you here in his arms makes it harder. He feels you hiccup, your back shakes, your hands fist his shirt, and your nose muffles into the crook of his neck. He clenches his jaw, squeezes you tighter.
«I’m sorry too»
«I was so scared. I just- I didn’t realise»
He knows, fuck he knows. He just wishes you wouldn’t vanish away. Don’t, just don’t cause he doesn’t think he will be able to forget himself.
«It’s okay, you don’t- just please don’t leave me» he whimpers. 
Jungkook breaks down in your arms. He loves you too much, values you too much to not have you in his life. He doesn’t care how much he has to hurt or hold back, he can’t do this without you, without his best friend. The house felt so empty without you.
«I won’t,» you sob «I promise I won’t. I’m sorry I made you worry and left. I needed time and- I- I needed to think» you sniff. His hands stroke your hair and you let go of a deep breath. You missed the feeling of his caresses, how his touch is always been enough to sooth you.
«You didn’t do anything wrong» he whispers. A tear streams down from the corner of his eye, it tickles his cheek and makes him loiter in the warmth of you even more.
«No, I- I was selfish… you opened up to me, and I- I left you. I’m-»
«You’re here,» he whispers «you came back. You’re here with me, you- you didn’t leave» his voice breaks and you feel him tremble. Your heart clenches and stings in your chest as he nuzzles his nose into your neck.
«Just- please,» he pleads «stay with me» 
Your dim breaks. You shake your head, lay your lips on his neck. He whimpers as he hiccups and when you lay a soft kiss on his skin Jungkook feels like dying inside. Your lips are so soft. Your nose brushes against him, another kiss laid on his skin just right upper, then another one and another one until you’re just under his jaw, his breath unstable as the tears wet his skin. Your hands leave his back, your body parts slightly, his hands reluctantly let go of the hold he has around you. You cup his cheeks, soft and reddish from the crying, look at him in those beautiful stars. They’re a bit swollen from the tears, his cheeks are damp, his lips trembling. 
«I was so fucking scared that I didn’t realise»
«Me neither,» he nods «but it doesn’t- it doesn’t matter. Just don’t leave. I can’t-» he gulps harshly. 
«The thought of not having- you by my side, it killed me. I- I couldn’t sleep, work was hell, I-»
«I’m not leaving you» your hand tenderly strokes his hair. Jungkook stay still as you dry his tears with your thumb. You want to slap yourself for causing him so much pain, he must’ve felt so scared already and you just- you just made it harder. You should’ve talked to him, should’ve faced him.
 «I promise» you smile softly. Jungkook could implode for how happy he feels right now, with you smiling at him just in the same way as you used to. Your lips tremble and a new hiccup comes out. His arms go back to where they were before, they squeeze you to him and it’s so familiar and bittersweet, it smells like home and trust and all you can do is let go in his embrace.
You let the rest of your tears come out, hear his breathing slow down, feel his heartbeat against you. You kiss his jaw, your lips tickle his wet skin, your hand reaches behind his neck and Jungkook wishes he could just take his heart out of his chest and step on it, make the feelings go away. But it’s just too saccharine, the way your lips linger on his skin for a second too long, how you perfectly fit in his arms.
«I want you,» you whisper «I want you whole» you lay another kiss on his mandible.
«I want every part of you, every- everything you can give» you peck his chin, look at his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t understand, his eyes wide and glossy stare at you as if you were telling him to solve the hardest mathematical problem ever. Still, he looks at you with such tenderness that it makes your insides twist. He’s lost, totally. 
If his love could be represented, he’d paint you in pinkish colours, then in black and white, in blue and all the colours in the world. He’d make a different version every time just to admire at your face some more, to keep the next one to himself when the lights will make the one before fade, so he’ll always be able to meet your eyes just like now. Remember the feeling you light up in him.
«I love you» 
It’s odd, how lives intertwine. How people can take and give from each other pieces that can’t be seen, how two roads that never meet can lead to the same place. It’s beautiful, the way you speak. It’s dreamy. Its dreamy, the way you look at him, the way he used to look at you for all this time, it’s beautiful how your lives intertwined, how you became each other’s mystery and answer at the same time. How you’ve walked together for all this years, silently hand by hand but without ever looking down at them, not even knowing. 
Jungkook laughs. He laughs as his tears fall down and he thinks that maybe the world will end, cause his head is spinning. You chuckle and your eyes are wet, and suddenly your hands cup his cheeks again.
«I love you» you repeat. He shakes his head, sniffing totally in disbelief.
«I do» you laugh, nodding. His head stops. His eyes widen slowly, the look on his face makes you bite down on your lips, it’s like seeing the sky clear after a thunderstorm, as if the sun was peeking out from behind the dark clouds. His mouth opens.
«I do» you whisper. 
Suddenly he wants to cry even more. Your lips lock with his and it’s so gentle and sweet, and oh god, so consuming. You take all the space, every cellule of his body, all the air in the room, in the house even. You leave him breathless, lungs burning on fire. His lips are soft, wet with tears, salty. Jungkook whimpers in your mouth, his hand reaches your face and fuck, there’s no end. No end to how fucking much you have of him, how much of him is yours. 
His thumb strokes your cheek, his other hand falls on your waist. His tongue is warm, his eyes shut, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks, both of your hearts pounding. You kiss slowly, sweetly, lovingly. You wish you could never let go, have him like this forever. And for the first time your thoughts are the same as Jungkook’s in this moment. If he could read your mind, how big  would be the smile stretching on his face. Jungkook smiles on your lips, his teeth brush against your tongue, his digits on your waist lightly dig into your skin. When you part, your eyes are still shut, foreheads pressing against each other.
«I’m sorry,» you mumble on his lips, he shakes his head, pecking your lips with such tenderness «I’m sorry it took me so long to realise»
Jungkook is the happiest man in the world.
You came back, you’re in his arms, you love him. You fucking love him, you do.
«It’s okay, it’s perfect. You- just please come to me» he guides you close to him again, you shut your mouth when his warmth wraps around you, his eyes shut. You don’t want to let go, you won’t. 
«Jungkook» you call softly. He hums against you neck, his lips dare to peck your skin and he can’t fucking believe that he gets to do it cause he simply can.
«When did you realise?» 
«I already knew» he murmurs.
«But… on Eunji’s birthday… you came back home and were so drunk. You slept with someone else and I just- I guess my feelings were so strong that I couldn’t control them anymore»
«I slept with someone?» you ask, your head shooting up too look at him. Jungkook nods.
«You said he had a pretty dick» he chuckles for your choice of words, even though he can still fill it sting. Just the thought of you in someone else’s arms makes him heart clench. 
«Oh! No!» you laugh, «Jungkook, I didn’t sleep with anyone. He was peeing outside of the club and I was so drunk that I kept repeating him that he had a pretty dick for all the way home» you explain.
«Ew, it’s so embarrassing. Eunji made him take me home because he’s her brother’s best friend» 
Jungkook can’t believe his ears. His eyes are about to roll out of his sockets for how wide they are.
«You- I thought…» he shakes his head.
«I didn’t, you know I don’t feel comfortable in those type of situations» you shake your head.
«Even though… last week I-»
«I know» he murmurs.
«You know?» he nods. 
How does he? You don’t understand, how is-
«I came home early and- I… heard» his words are faint, a thin line that holds all the pain his heart was stained with. It echoes in the room, gets back to your ears until your eyes widen and you feel disoriented.
«So you-» you can’t even process your words properly «I’m so sorry, fuck» you really don’t know how to apologise. He was at home, while you were under another man. He heard you. His eyes were swollen the next morning, that’s why. He couldn’t even look at you. 
«If I knew, I wouldn’t- I…» 
He smiles softly, his heart clenches. 
«You’re in my arms now» his lips tremble slightly.
«I just kept thinking about you and when it was going to happen again. I kept telling myself that we shouldn’t have slept together in the first place, I felt guilty that I thought about my best friend in such ways and- I- I told myself that it was happening because I hadn’t slept with anyone else for a while»
You do your best to explain without getting your words intertwined, but Jungkook’s expression doesn’t change into an angry one, he doesn’t glare at you, doesn’t budge. He just nods, smiles sweetly. 
Love can be blind. It can blind you to the point that you can’t see straight, can’t decipher what’s happening. You were scared, lost. 
«I hurt you so fucking much» you whisper. 
«Maybe it had to happen, for us to be here» he whispers.
«I don’t care about anything,» he strokes your hair «It hurt. But you’re here with me and I just- I just want you close to me» 
His arms hold you just for the sake of it. 
His warmth is intoxicating, the sound of his breath too. You wish you realised sooner, you wish that he didn’t have to hear you in such circumstances cause the pain on his face the next day was unbearable. When he saw you the next morning, all he could think about was you under someone else, your skin against his, your eyes looking at him in the same way you looked at him. The same thoughts that teared him apart for all night long. But now, it doesn’t matter. It was just a step that had to be taken, in a way or another. It was just something that guided you to him, in his arms right now.
Something in the air shifts. All your senses tingle, they scream for him and his touch just the same as Jungkook’s. He wants to have you, the most vulnerable part of you, like no one else ever did. You want his lips and his caresses, his eyes deep into yours.
«Let’s go to bed?» 
His breath catches in his throat.
«I want you closer than this»
The path to your bedroom never felt so good to walk on, with Jungkook’s fingers digging in your hips and his lips on your neck. It’s thrilling, the feeling running through your body. It’s saccharine, sugar coated. Your hands in his hair fit so good, the way you whimper when you stumble cause you can’t see in front of you, how he chuckles on your lips. 
«I want you in my bed,» he breathes on your lips «wanna keep you there all night long» 
Fuck, the way he makes you melt in his arms with just a few words. You nod eagerly,  letting your hands run on his back. Jungkook can’t hold himself back any longer, gripping you by your thighs and kissing your neck, his lips are wet and with the air your skin fills of shivers. His fingers dig into your skin as he moves towards his bedroom. 
«I want you so bad» you whine. 
«Gonna give it to you baby, everything you want» 
The door is shut and Jungkook doesn’t seem to want to let go of holding you as he kisses your lips. It’s too much to ask of him, after loving you for so long. You’re too breathtaking, too perfect.
«Let me» he kisses you again «open the d-» another kiss. You laugh on his mouth, his giggles fill the air as he keeps pecking your lips. 
«Kook, the door» 
He smiles big, turns around to make you open the door without letting you go. It stays open when he walks inside, doesn’t care at all and just walks to the bed, leans you down on his sheets. 
«Take it off» you mumble. He moans when your hands reach his skin under the shirt, nuzzles his face into your neck. You lift the cloth, Jungkook kisses your clavicle, his lips get as low as your shirt permits, his nose brushes against the swell of your breasts. You pinch his back, giggle when he whines.
«Want you naked» you remind. He laughs and looks into your eyes, totally drunk. 
«You’re so impatient» he sniggers, making you smile and turn. Your cheeks grow red as your eyes look at his nightstand.
«Look at me» 
His fingers reach the hem of his shirt as you turn again, he lifts it more and takes it off from between your legs; the view makes you salivate, his muscles on full display, his brownish nipples getting hard with the cold air.
«Want me to take my pants off too?» 
You want to smack his ass but you refrain yourself, you know he’s just teasing you like always.
«Shut up» you shake your head. His fingers reach the button of his pants, he slides it through the hole, pulls the zipper down. 
«Let me» you sit on the bed. You kiss his neck, let your fingers graze the skin of his chest, your touch makes his cock twitch, hard and swollen in his boxers. You let your hand pass over his navel, down until you reach his dick. 
Your hand lingers on it, Jungkook’s head falling back. 
«Fuck, you’re too much» he moans. 
«Make me so hard by doing nothing» he hisses. Butterflies fill your chest, your hand squeezes him through the cloths and you feel yourself getting wetter as he lets out a rough breath. God, the sounds he makes. They make you want to surrender to him and his pleasure, you feel the need to take him in your mouth as if your life depended on it. His hands go back on your body, fast fingers fist the material of your skirt. 
«You’re too impatient» you mock. He hums a soft giggle looking at you. 
«I am» he admits. Your sneaker in response makes him smile big and he lays his forehead on yours. He looks at you with those eyes, all the stars in the world couldn’t be as bright and magnificent as them and you can’t help but dive deeper and deeper. 
«I want to make love to you, wanna make you feel so good» and it feels so good to be able to say it out loud. To let you know.
You kiss him, really too impatient to hold back any longer. He helps you out of your skirt, takes your shirt off, makes you lay on the bed as he takes his pants and boxers off, his socks too. And fuck, the way he looks. How fucking gorgeous this man is when he’s just standing in front of you with his cock hard and standing proudly, cockhead red and swollen, skin exposed and the tattoos on his arm on full display.
«Fuck, come here» you beg. Jungkook doesn’t let you repeat it twice, his body hovers yours and you open your legs to welcome him. He kisses your right hip, his lips are wet and they tickle your skin, make you squirm under him as he cups your breast from over the bra. 
«Fuck, I love you» he hisses as he looks up at you. You can’t control the beat of your heart, too lost in him and how much youu’ r been missing. You can’t believe it took you so long to finally understand. Your lips part as you stare down at his face, his dark eyes on you. He kisses your stomach with his eyes in yours, the scene makes you so wet that you wrap your legs around him and Jungkook’s cock brushes against your panties. He moans, the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard, his mouth is still on you and the lace of your panties feels so fucking good on the underside of his cock that he shuts his eyes. He can feel your wetness even through them, they are soaked. Fucking hell. Your legs squeeze him more as you look at him, his mouth open and eyebrows pinched together. You lift your hips, to give him some friction. Hic cock twitches against you and you let out a breathy moan that makes him open his eyes. 
«Oh, fuck» he moans. It’s guttural and so fucking sexy. You can’t wait to hear more, you want to make him crazy. 
«Grind against me» you breathe. His cock twitches again, his jaw clenches. He lets you pull him closer with your legs, keep him tight against you until his cock is practically glued to your panties, your pussy totally soaked. His hands cup your breasts and he squeezes them gently while looking at you, your head digs into the pillows, a moan escapes your lips and Jungkook can’t help but do the same. His hips move tentatively, his cock rubs against the lace and the pressure gets to your clit. Your moan makes him whimper, your voice so sweet that it makes him repeat his movements. He can feel the outline of your lips from your panties and it’s fucking killing him.
«Fucking panties» he hisses, somehow making you laugh.
«Mh, what?» he smiles at you, his cock still brushing against your throbbing clit. You bite your lips.
«Nothing, just you» you shake your head. The pleasure is so good. Jungkook keeps smiling as he kisses the tip of your nose.
«Me what?» he asks, his fingers get under the strap of your bra, he pushes it down on your shoulder. 
«Just you,» you smile «I don’t know» 
He’s so fucking happy. 
«Am I funny to you?» he bumps his nose against yours. His movements are slow and controlled, his thighs glued to the back of yours, eyes right deep into yours. He moves his hand under your back, his fingers fumble with the opening of your bra.
«Sometimes» you laugh, cupping his cheek. You kiss him sweetly, Jungkook smiles on your lips as he lifts the bra from your chest, he guides the straps down your shoulders and your arms until he lets it fall on the ground. He pecks your lips once more, finally fondles your breast with his hand. Your nipples are hard and he wants to tease them until you squirm under him. His cock jerks when you moan under him, the pads of his fingers brushing against them. 
«Kook» you whimper. He kisses your neck all the way down to your chest, his lips lock around the pebble of your nipple as he teases the other with his fingers. Your back arches, mouth opens. 
«Feels so good» you breathe. He flicks his tongue repeatedly, sucks lightly as he ruts his cock up and down on your clit. Your legs tremble, he lets go of your nipple and takes the other in his mouth. It feels too good.
«Fuck» 
His hand travels on your stomach, his fingers pass your hip and reach the inside of your tights to caress it softly, tickling your skin until he presses his cock against you with his palm, his cockhead heavy on your clit. You squirm under him as he kisses your neck, his moans fill up your ears as he works his cockhead on it.
«Tell me you’re mine» he nuzzles his face into your skin. His balls are so tight he could cum right now.
«Jungkook, I’m going to-» you can’t even speak, you’re so close your blood is running hot in your veins. The pleasure it’s too much, it keeps building up and you just want to succumb.
«I’m yours» 
«Only for me» he grunts.
He parts his cock from your pussy. You want to ask why but a second later his fingers link around the hem of your panties and he pushes them down onto your thighs and over your knees until they pass your ankles and get lost in the room. The need to take a good look at your wetness stops him from pushing his cock back to where it was. He stares down at your lips, parts them with his fingers and fuck, he wants a taste. Your juices are leaking out from your hole so deliciously that he can’t hold back and gathers them with his thumb. 
«So fucking wet» he praises. 
His lips wrap around his thumb, sucking on it and tasting you, his cock twitches as it stands angrily. You taste so sweet, so delicious for him that he promises himself he’s going to make you cum like this tonight, eat every drop, swallow all your sweetness. And then start all over again.
«Wanna be the only one who gets to taste your beautiful pussy» 
Your hands grab his wrist on your leg as you nod.
«I promise» you whisper.
Jungkook lays on top of you again, he lets his wet thumb brush against your nipple as he his cock parts your lips and slides back between them. Your folds feels so good against him, the sensation makes him bite on his lips as he suppresses a loud moan. Your nails dig into his back as you look at his face, so fucking beautiful. It’s paradoxical how you think he looks like an angel when his cock it’s sliding against you so agonisingly.
«I want you to cum like this» he breathes.
He pushes his cockhead against your clit, rubs it in circular motions and then up and down, from side to side. Your juices mix with his precum, it’s so fucking wet that your juices drip on his sheets. He wants them to smell like you, to remember the way you smell when you’re working and he’s waiting for you at home, wants your juices to fucking claim his sheets. 
«Can you do it? Cum all over my cockhead, baby. Do it for me»
Fuck, how couldn’t you. It’s too much. Especially when he’s asking you like this, looking at you like you’re the essence of his world. 
You nod quickly, your chest raises up and down at a torturing pace and Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you. He loves you so fucking much, you’re his. Fucking his.
«I’m- fuck, I’m going to cum» 
«Me too, baby. Cum with me?» he sweetly brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, he kisses your cheek with such tenderness and sincerity and your heart just can’t process it. It explodes in your chest, your legs shake and suddenly you’re whimpering and squeezing your eyes shut, your head digs into his pillows, your walls tighten. Jungkook grunts, pushing all the length of his cock against your folds and wrapping you closer to him in his arms. He cums so hard that his head falls on your chest, his moans muffled against your skin. His cock jerks, his cum wets your stomach and drips down your thighs and onto the sheets, a bit of it on his abdomen and chest too as he lets himself lay on top of you. 
It’s blissful, the way your fingers stroke his hair as he breathes harsly, he feels his heart pound and his insides melt. You stay silent, look at him just laying in your arms. You never felt so light, so free as now. Love can be blind, so blind that something so special had to wait all this time to finally be seen; all these years and your souls intertwined in every way possible, the roots of your plants were always in the same pot. You were so used to his presence and his leaves that you didn’t realise how much soil you shared, how deeply were intertwined your roots, how they held each other up with such tenderness and love. You want to see his flowers, want to share your water with him, you want to bloom and wilt with him, you want it all. 
«I love you» 
You caress his cheek even though you can’t see them, his eyelashes flutter against your chest and he raises his face to look at you, then rests again on top of you.
«I love you too» he answers. A big smile. Starry eyes, rosy cheeks, messy hair, totally love drunk. And you couldn’t love it more. You pinch the apple of his cheeks, he scrunches his nose and pouts his lips. 
You feel attacked, seriously.
«Why are you so cute?» you whine. His giggles fill the room as he gets up. He lays beside you, wraps his arms around you and squeezes.
«I want to spoon you» his fingertips dig into your hips as he kisses your shoulder. You huff contently, turning around. His legs intertwine with yours and Jungkook rests his head in the space between your shoulder and neck, his chest tight against you.
«Are you comfortable?» he pecks your cheek. It’s perfect.
You nod and shut your eyes, lingering in the feeling of the moment. 
«Don’t sleep» he whines, pinches your hip.
«I haven’t finished with you yet» 
«What? I’m tired» you laugh. You really aren’t, but you like to tease him. Your eyes open, head turns slightly to look at his eyebrows furrowing as he frowns. 
«It’s not true» he blubbers. Fuck, how can he look so adorable in such a situation? All naked, tight against you.
«It is,» you pout back «I’m really tired» you fake a yawn. His head falls on the pillow. 
You stay still for a little, then decide that you want to look at his pretty face. He wails as you turn around, clearly not okay with it.
«Let me spoon you at least»
«Wanna look at your pretty face» you puff at him. His body relaxes and when you turn around the view hits you like a truck on a highway. His hair are messy, long strands following sweetly the roundness of his cheek as he stares at you. His eyes are round, doe-like, incredibly profound they capture the light of the room and exhibit it perfectly, stars scattered across their skies. His lips are red, and it’s because of you. You caress his cheek, brush the strands away. He smiles largely, his hand grazes the back of yours and squeezes it, his other one behind your back so sweetly that you melt. 
«You can fall asleep on my chest» he murmurs. You shake your head.
«I was just teasing you,» you giggle «don’t wanna sleep now» 
He huffs, faking annoyance but it’s just really endearment.
You graze his chest with your fingers, tickle him with the nails as you slowly move up and down. His cock is still hard, the tip red. 
«You’re… you’re still hard» you breathe. 
Jungkook looks at you, the way your eyes stare at his cock on his abdomen, a big smile stretching on his lips as his cheeks grow a little reddish.
«Can’t help it baby,» he simply says «it’s what you do to me» 
He doesn’t lead the conversation anywhere else, as if he doesn’t intend to do anything about it, a dreamy sigh leaving his lips. He stares at you in awe, he can’t believe he gets to do this. In his arms, you naked and relaxed, laying down to stay. You don’t get up to leave his mattress and go back to just being friends, close but not close enough, a heartbeat away. Laying with you feels ecstatic. It’s the forbidden fruit, the one he always craved for; the intimacy of it, being in your rawest states and still trusting each other in such a profound way, getting to see each others fully in every way possible, physically, emotionally. 
«Love» you whisper. His big eyes look straight at you, his heart stumbles in his chest. 
«Last time… you called me love»
«I… couldn’t hold back» he shakes his head, nuzzling into you. 
«It felt different from the times before, it was…»
«I was making love to you» he mumbles. The way he clings his chin to the fist of his hand on the pillow right after makes your stomach clench. The silence creates a foggy haze in the room, but you still see each other clearly. He must’ve hurt so much, for so long. You want to make him smile. You want to reassure him, make him feel loved just as he did to you that day. 
«My baby» you whisper, leaving a peck on the tip of his nose. He scrunches it and smiles big at you.
«Let me do the same- » you kiss his lips and although the intention was to go for just a peck Jungkook’s lips keep you attached to him like a magnet «and make you feel good?» 
«Mmph…» he moans as soon as your hand reaches the base of his cock. You feel it twitch, watch it as it gets even harder in your hand. Jungkook gulps, shuffling on the mattress to get comfortable. The view of your pretty little hand around him makes him longing, yearning to have you all over him. He doesn’t even have to wait after cuming already, he knows he could be ready for you right now. And when you stroke him, oh god, the sound he makes… you wish you could record it and play it all over again and again. 
He folds his arms, rests on the back of them to look at the view properly, head up and chest raising roughly.
«Fuck, I love it» he hisses. You lick your lips, get closer to him on your side as you let your hand pull his foreskin back, his cockhead furious and leaking precum already. 
«You like it?» you coo. He looks at you, your lips wet and your eyes gawking at him. You make him powerless just by doing nothing. Your thumb touches his slit.
«Shit, yes» he moans.
«Love it, I love it» 
You smile at him. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off your face and your hand, not even for a second. When you gather his precum and stroke it all over his cockhead he breathes hard and suddenly he craves for a taste of you. His chin points at you, lips pouting as his cock pulses in your hand.
You peck his lips, tighten your hand around him and twist your wrist. He moans loudly, his head falls back. 
«Fuck» he cries. 
«You’re so beautiful» you whisper. 
«Want you to feel so good» 
He nods lazily, his eyes shut. Your hand is… perfect. Just perfect. It makes him thaw under you, for you, until he’s just whining and moaning, totally lost.
«You- nnngh- you do» 
You push his hair behind his ears, you don’t think you’ve ever felt this feeling. This kind of excitement while doing something for someone else, only for him. This part of you is his, tied and bound to his soul.
«All the time» he shivers.
«Every fucking time you- fuck» his moan is high pitched, desperate. He’s losing his mind, it’s too much when you stroke his cock and have your pretty eyes looking at him so sweetly, holding all the love he always wished to get from you. It’s too much, and he just wants to explode.
«Every fucking time, you don’t even realise,» he shakes his head «you- you just, fuck I love you» 
It’s brutal, how he takes your face in his palm and pushes your lips onto his, brutal for your heart. Such a crook.
The kiss is messy, sloppy, totally heedless. He just wants you close, it’s just for the sake of feeling you more, and it makes you so wet you feel your juices drip down your asshole.
«Love you- so fucking much» he whines. You kiss him more, stroke his cock until his balls are tight and Jungkook is squirming on the bed, his sounds creating the perfect melody for your ears, his pleasure skyrocketing until he just knows he has to stop you. 
His hand wraps around yours, stopping your movements. 
«Want you,» he hisses «wanna cum inside you while I feel you close» you couldn’t resist such a plea even if you wanted to. 
You smile at him and nod, your skin is on fire just at the thought of it. Jungkook’s hand tickles your side as it descends on your hip, his digits dig into your skin. He goes to sit up but you stop him with your hand on his chest. 
«Huh?» he hums puzzled, his lips forming an “o” and his eyebrows high.
«Let me» you smile. Fuck, he feels like cuming already.
«Let me take care of you» you whisper. Jungkook hisses as he lays back down, soft strands of hair spread on the pillow and starry eyes look at you while you straddle him. He doesn’t know if you resemble more an angel or the devil himself with your love surrounding him and your dangerous touch, but maybe you’re the collision of both. 
You lay down to kiss his lips, a soft and gentle kiss that makes him yearn even more just because it’s ohso lovely. 
He must’ve been blessed, cause when you let your hips grind against him and he feels the warmth of your core he feels like he’s in heaven. Maybe you’re an angel, most definitely the prettiest of all. 
Your lips feels so fucking good that his cock jerks and he has to hold back himself from cuming.
«Fuck, wait-» he hisses. 
«I don’t think I can- I need to desensitise a bit or I- I’ll cum» 
You stop your movements and lean down to kiss him some more. You caress his cheek, Jungkook’s arm can’t help but keep you close and tight against him. Your soft breasts feel so good against the hardness of his chest, your hair hanging down from the side of your face. His hand squeezes your asscheek and a cheeky grin appears on his face.
«Feels so good to get to do this» he pipes. 
«You used to do that before too» you snigger and he squeezes your flesh once more.
«Only in bed» he laughs. You shake your head and pinch his right nipple lightly, watching as he keens and brings his hand to cover the injured part.
«Why?» he whines with his eyes closed. You lay down and kiss the tip of his nose.
«I get to do this too» you coo. He sighs deeply and glares at you, lips pouty.
«You used to do this before too» he murmurs. You smile at him.
«Not in bed? I should’ve and could’ve but I didn’t. I had to try» 
«Fuck, you’re so annoying» he groans even though a big smile is already stretching on his lips. It’s beautiful how the change of your relationship didn’t change the way you act around each other, the same old habits and teases. 
«Should I kiss it for you?» you laugh. Jungkook peeks at you from his half lidded eyes.
«Do I get to kiss your ass when I’m outside of bed?» 
Your laugh fills the room, the apples of your cheeks full. He pushes you onto him, his hand coming to your face, he kisses your lips, pecks your nose and your cheeks, your forehead too. Silence spread in the air as he pours his love onto you with caresses and little sighs, totally rapturous.
You kiss his neck, his clavicles, his shoulders and his pecs, lick on his nipple. Jungkook squirms under you and a second later you’re… kissing it. He laughs out loud, his giggles are high pitched and he scrunches his nose as he lets his head fall back on the pillow. So fucking cute, you think. You want to keep him in your pocket and never let go.
«Are we ready to go?» you giggle as he still laughs. Jungkook nods, eyes bright. His bangs are messy and you take some time to brush them with your fingers as his chuckles summer down. 
«It’s gonna be messy again, come on» he whines. 
«So impatient,» you sigh «let me make my baby pretty» you coo. Jungkook whines again.
«Please,» he strokes your back «wanna be inside you» 
«Mmh, ‘kay baby» you hum against his lips. You nuzzle your nose into his neck, blow on it just to hear the sound of his humming when he shudders under you as you take a hold of the base of his cock. He’s so hard that you let out a dreamy sigh, totally in love with the feeling of him in your hand. Jungkook’s hips stutter up, his cheeks paint of red when his eyes meet you and you wonder if it’s just the warmth of the room or your effect on him.
Your core brushes against him and he releases a soft yearning hum. You sit up, breast on full sight and eyes on him as you push yourself onto him. It’s so fucking wet and tight and delicious that he doesn’t ever want to leave your pussy. Fuck, he’d spend every second of the day inside you if he could. 
«So tight» he moans. You slowly fill yourself up with him, he grabs your breasts and squeezes them, fumbles your soft flesh as you start to move unrushed. You’re so beautiful on top of him, so pretty. All for him and him only. 
«Talk to me» Jungkook wants to hear your words as you ride him. The position is totally new to the both of you but fuck, it feels perfect. He fills you up so good that your walls pulsate all around him, getting to see him under you with his big dark eyes on your face makes you want to spoil him in all the love he showered you with the last time and even more, you want him to feel totally engulfed by it, from how much you love him. 
«Love it, I love your cock» you moan. You put your weight on your hands on the bed, leaning back a little as his cock hits the perfect spot inside you. Jungkook pinches your nipple, your breasts look so good that he wishes he could kiss your skin. He watches them bounce with every move, feels his cock throb and leak precum inside you. It’s so fucking wet, your juices mixed together and god, the sounds you make could make him crazy.
«How much?» he hisses. You bite your lips.
«So much baby» you whine. His hand reaches your clit, he rubs it gently with his thumb and looks at your face. His heart pounds wildly, you turn him on so much that he has to restrain himself every time. However, now he wants you close and even though he’s loving the way you’re taking him so good, your body is too far for him. 
«Love» he calls out putting both of his hands on your hips and staring up at you. You look down at him, his skin is a bit sweaty and his lips red from all the kisses you shared. Jungkook sits up.
«Want you closer, please» he maffles. 
«Let me open my legs so I can hold you» 
You let his cock pull out, the loss of contact makes you grimace and Jungkook smiles endeared as he pinches your cheek. He opens his thighs, his cock stands proud against his abdomen, so pretty. He guides you onto him, your thighs over his and your pussy back on him. His hands grab the flesh of your ass, his face hides in the crook of your neck and he breathes in your scent as you take him back into your heaven. Like this, he thinks he could die happily. Fuck, so close and perfect. The contact of your skin makes him breathless, the feeling of you all over him, so tight that not a single inch isn’t against him. The way you hug his cock makes his head spin, how you grind your hips into him and dig your nails into his back. Your moans in his ears, he captures every single and makes sure that the next one comes out because you’re feeling even better. He rubs your clit, sucks your nipples, kisses your neck, keeps you close until your sweats mix and all he can do is breathe you in.
«You’re perfect» you whisper. His heart trembles, all the defences he had to put on for all these years without even realising are down on the floor, totally scattered in pieces. They burn into ashes, fire takes over them completely until there’s nothing left but haze, and then there’s you. You on top of him, you under him, you on his lips, you in his mind, just you. You’re everywhere, part of him. 
«I was so stupid-» you hiss as he kisses your cheek «fuck, how could I not see it?» 
His nose nuzzles into your cheek and he pecks your skin repeatedly, his thumb rubbing faster on your clit.
«Ssh, we’re- nngh fuck, we’re here now» he reassures.
«Never wanna leave you,» you mumble «never» 
Jungkook feels like crying suddenly. There’s a knot in his throat that tastes like pain, like all the tears he shed and every night he spent thinking about you. All the worry that he felt when you weren’t with him, the feeling of loveliness without you by his side, the feeling of not being enough to be seen, to be considered as more. It all gets back to him and his eyes burn, his vision becomes foggy, his breath ragged for the pleasure of having you here. 
«Baby,» he whines «feel like crying» his voice trembles. 
You stop your movements, totally focus on him. Jungkook shakes his head though, pushes you onto him more to make you keep going.
«Just make love to me» he whispers. 
«I still can’t- still can’t believe you’re mine» 
«I’m yours» you don’t wait a second more to let it out. You watch him beam with his eyes glossy and can’t help but kiss him. You kiss all of his worries away, every single one. As you make love to him so sweetly, they all melt. He cries, salty tears mix with your kisses, your hands dry them and you kiss the path they walked on. You spoil him with your touch, your caresses, even your breath on his skin. Jungkook can’t even speak properly from the feeling in his chest. 
«I love you, love»
«Fuck, oh god- call me that again» he moans. He lets his head fall back as you keep moving, the expanse of his neck displayed for you. You let your hand trace it and then do the same for his chest, rub his nipples and hear him moan.
«My love» you repeat, breath rough.
«Mine, you’re mine»
«Fuck yes,» he whimpers «yours baby» 
You want to make him cum. You want to see him shake in pleasure and contract his abs, you want everything he can give and more. Your hand travels farther down, Jungkook squeezes your ass again as he feels your touch graze his skin until you get to his balls. They’re wet with your juices, so tight and full of cum for you. He moans loudly, his mouth attaches your neck as you caress them sweetly in your hand. Your touch is so gentle and his cock feels so fucking good, his body feels like levitating from how much you’re giving him. It’s too much to hold back.
«God, you’re- you’re going to make me-» he howls «cum» he shudders.
You kiss him deeply, your tongues in each others mouth and your eyes closed, foreheads touching and hearts glued to each other. 
«Cum for me» you breathe on his lips.
«Cum inside me, show me how you cum for me, love» 
His eyes open, eyebrows furrow as he moans. You kiss him more, spoil him totally. You whisper how much you love him, how good he feels inside you, how beautiful he is. Until it’s fucking unbearable, his cock twitches and all he can do is let go. Jungkook groans, digs his nose into your neck in such a desperate way that you feel your heart being wrapped tightly and squeezed almost to the point that you can’t breathe anymore, his whimpers come out muffled on your skin, his cum filling you up totally as you keep moving on top of him and in his hold. You cum with his moans in you ears as you milk him dry, the room spinning and your legs shaking. You collapse in his arms, feel him sob in your hold. Even when you don’t realise it you kiss his hair, stroke his back as your body feels light and wobbly, totally lost in its high. You cup his cheeks and peck his lips, the mole right under, the one on his nose, his forehead. Jungkook never wants to let go. 
«Cuddles» he murmurs on your neck right after, hiding from the world. You nod lazily, his cock still inside you. 
It’s weird, the roads that love takes and the path it walks onto. It’s odd, how it can blossom without asking for permission, how it grows and spreads, takes over everything it finds on its way. It’s beautiful, how Jungkook clings onto you like you’re love itself and you do the same for him, roots intertwined and shared soil in the same pot, one soul fixed together with pieces of each other, like it’s always been. Since you were sixteen and he was nineteen, for all these years. And for many more to come
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heizlut · 7 months
Text
Me & The Devil
alternative (dual yandere) version here
cw: non-con, dub-con, heavy manipulation, gaslighting, somnophilia, dacryphilia, yandere, DARK CONTENT
this fic is no joke when it comes to darker content, extreme trigger warning. read at your own risk
tags: yandere!dottore, fem!reader, mostly proofread but there still may be some minor errors here and there
word count: 4.5k this is the longest one i’ve written so far.
check out my masterlist here!
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Finally you have a chance to break free. The sound of your bare feet slap against the cold floor as you try to run for an exit. Your breathing is heavy, teary eyes full of hope thinking that today is the day you can finally escape him. Right before you can reach the exit, a large hand grips your arm tightly, causing you to stumble and fall to your hands and knees. You’re flipped over onto your back with him looming over you with a smirk on his face, “Going somewhere, my love?”. Dottore. How did this even start? When did it even start?
You were just a curious akademiya student. Many said you were too curious for your own good but you always brushed them off. You couldn’t help that you were so curious about the things that were forbidden to be researched. The more someone tells you not to do something, the more you want to just say ‘fuck it’ and do it anyways. It didn’t help when you found some curious files and notes left behind from a student named Zandik. After asking around and getting strange looks from others, you were about to give up on this Zandik guy. You bumped into something hard causing you to drop the notes and files you had found and you land hard on your ass. When you looked up, you saw a tall man with blue hair wearing a mask that hid his features.
He didn’t think anything of you at first until he saw what had scattered on the ground. With a smirk, he held out his hand to you, “I apologize. I must not have been paying attention to where I was going.” You grabbed his hand, trying not to wince at the pain from having landed so hard, “I should be the one to apologize. I’m the one who ran into you.” The man laughed it off and bent down to help you gather your papers which caused you to push him away.
Your reaction made him raise an eyebrow under his mask, “What? Do you have something to hide, little one?” You felt your face heat up at the accusation and the nickname. It felt like he could see right through you, “N-no.. It’s just-“ You sighed as you gathered your thoughts. “If you’d like, we could go somewhere else if you’d like to tell me about it?”, he offered with a smile that you couldn’t quite decipher. You nodded and gave a small smile in return, “It would be nice to have someone to share this with. Thank you.”
The man you learned was named Dottore. He listened to everything you explained with just a sly smirk on his face. The mask he wore made it hard for you to decipher his true feelings, but the fact that he had sat there and listened with some sort of intrigue to what you were saying made you feel like you were finally understood. He made no move to berate you for what you chose to have an interest in.
Little did you know that the files and notes you had found were all from him and his previous research from before he was expelled from the akademiya and changed his name. He was more than happy to entertain your curiosity. It shocked you when he offered his hand to you for the second time that day and asked if you would like to pursue your curiosities further with him as your mentor. You stared at him in surprise, then you took his hand. That’s where it all began.
At first, Dottore kept some distance from you. You didn’t mind as you were so caught up in finally being able to pursue your true interests. Little by little he began to cut you off from the rest of the world without you paying it any mind. It started with him offering for you to stay one night since it had gotten late. He said he worried about you going home alone in the dark. You naively accepted and soon it became a habit to stay with him after long days of researching and experimenting together. Dottore was good at hiding his true intentions and the dark things he was doing without your knowledge. You had no idea the other types of experiments he conducted. He was so careful to show you only what he wanted you to see.
Next he made an offhand comment about you just dropping out of the akademiya and studying under him full time. He had only said it when you came to his place after yet another tough day at the akademiya. You were going on and on about how you wish you could fully pursue your true interests without interference. After he made the comment about you just dropping out, you gawked at him for a few moments to which he smiled, “It’s all up to you. But just know… You’ll never reach your true potential if you’re trapped under the akademiya’s thumb.” You mulled over his words.
What he said was true. You just wanted your freedom. To do as you pleased without anyone getting in the way or giving you dirty looks or rejecting your proposals time and time again. “I can give you everything you need. All you need to do is say the word.”, is what he said as he watched the gears turn in your head. You looked up at him, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, “I’ll drop out. Just promise me that you’ll help me pursue what I want.”
The smile on his face grew. If you hadn’t been so naive to his real intentions, you would have noticed that his smile held insanity and obsession. He wanted you all to himself and he was finally getting closer to what he wanted.
Days turned to weeks, which turned to months. Dottore was everything to you whether you had realized it or not. You had fallen right into his trap. You had become dependent on him, cut off from the world around you. When was the last time you saw the sun or felt it warm your skin? You didn’t really seem to care. You had gotten incredibly far with your research all thanks to Dottore’s help. He gave you everything you needed. Everything you wanted. No questions asked. He never even asked for anything in return.
Now that began to bother you. You felt like you had to repay him in some way but whenever you brought it up, he would brush it off with a laugh and smile saying that seeing you happy with what you were accomplishing together was more than enough. You always failed to notice the way his gaze on you would change when your back was turned to him. The way it travelled down your body, taking in every inch of you, committing it to memory… It was dark and hungry…
You had reached up to grab a new test tube from a shelf you couldn’t quite reach when you suddenly felt hands touch your waist. A hard chest pressed against your back. Hot breath on your neck… “Let me get that for you.” You blush at the closeness. Dottore had never touched you like this. You didn’t see him as anything other than a mentor and a friend. He never made it known that he had felt anything different for you.
You didn’t know whether you liked his touch or closeness or if you wanted to push him away. You were frozen. Conflicted. You snap out of your thoughts when he let out a breathy laugh, the test tube held in front of your face, “Aren’t you going to take it?” You swallow hard and take the test tube from his hands, muttering your thanks.
His hands linger, moving down your body. You swear you could feel something hard poking your ass but you shake your head to push the thoughts away. There’s no way he thought of you like that. No way you thought of him like that. Sure he was handsome in his own strange way but you never really saw him this way. You turn around to move from his grasp only to be pushed further into the shelf, the spare glassware rattled from the impact.
Dottore’s sly smile. The dark look in his eyes. It made you shiver. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, huh? Anything you want to share?”, he was taunting you. You just knew he was. You gently push him away to create distance and he lets you, letting out a small laugh, “You don’t have to tell me. Your face says it all.” Your eyes widen at his words and you quickly make your way back to your experiment table.
Nothing else happened for awhile after that. It bothered you. Did he really see you as something more than just someone he was mentoring? You feel yourself grow slick with arousal as you lay in your bed. You kept replaying the way he looked at you, the way he touched you… You let out an annoyed groan as you rub your thighs together to quell the aching need you were feeling. You couldn’t be thinking of him this way. You didn’t even know what your feelings were towards him, let alone his feelings towards you. You let yourself fall asleep, frustrated, sexually and emotionally.
He stood there over your sleeping form. His cock stirring to life and he rubbed himself through his pants at how innocent and soft you looked as you slept. You turned onto your back in your sleep, muttering his name. His eyes squeezed shut as he palmed himself with even more pressure. You had said his name in your sleep.
You must be dreaming about him. Dottore lets out a soft groan of satisfaction. His sweet little student was thinking of him even in their sleep. He pulled his aching cock from his pants, pumping his length over your sleeping form.
Suddenly you let out a soft, breathy moan of his name, causing him to release all over your face with a choked groan of his own. He smirked as he kneeled down next to you, tucking himself back into his pants, and admiring how much prettier you looked with his cum splattered across your sweet face. He takes his finger, running it through his release. Once he gathered some on his finger he gently pressed it into your slightly parted mouth.
He hoped that you would wake up with the taste of his essence still on your tongue. Dottore removed his shirt and used it to gently wipe the remaining cum off your face. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and whispered, “Sweet dreams, little one.”
You woke up the next day with a strange taste in your mouth. You swallow a few times to get rid of the foreign taste which doesn’t help. You sigh, pushing yourself up to sit on your bed, your knees pressed tightly to your chest. Flashes of the dream you had the night before flutter through your mind. Images of Dottore touching you even more than he did that day in the lab against the shelves. Images of him kissing your neck and down your body…
The dream felt so real, you swear you could almost feel the lingering touch of his soft lips and calloused hands on your body. You faintly remember when the dream changed to him entering your room, jerking his cock over your body as he came on your face. The strange taste in your mouth comes to mind but you brush it off. It was all just a dream… right?
You let the water from the shower run down your body as you feel yourself starting to overthink everything that had to do with Dottore. He was just your mentor. You had to keep it that way or you may risk him finally kicking you out and leaving you on your own. The thoughts made you realize just how much he consumed your life little by little. You were in too deep to let it all fall apart just because you were confused by your feelings. You needed him.
A few days had gone by. Things seemed to have gone back to how they always used to be between you and Dottore. You felt like maybe you were just crazy for thinking he saw you as something more than just his student. Little did you know that Dottore was planning even more deep in his twisted mind. His careful image and manipulation guided you exactly where he wanted you. Dependent. Needing him. For everything. He wanted your thoughts to be on him. Only him.
As time went on, you noticed the little lingering touches he gave you. The way he would press himself against you. How close he would get, just inches from your face with that sly smile on his own mostly hidden face. It was driving you insane. You were so confused. Did you want him as more than a mentor to your forbidden research? No. You couldn’t. You didn’t want to.
You sat across from Dottore, pushing the food around your plate with your chopsticks, caught up in your own thoughts. He studied you curiously, wanting to pry into your mind, “Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything. I’ll listen.” You snap out of your thoughts, looking up at him with a dazed expression, “What are we doing…” He tilts his head slightly at your words, “What do you mean by that? We are research partners. I am your mentor. Does that not satisfy you?” Your face heats up, “N-no.. I-I mean it does satisfy me. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. You didn’t have to do all this-“
Before you could continue rambling he cuts you off, his palms pressed against the table as he leans over it. So close to you now… “Always so humble and sweet…” Dottore tucks a strand of your hair behind your hair and leans even closer, “Too bad I’m not satisfied.”
His words chill you to the bone. You’re frozen in place as he smirks, “Be mine. I can give you even more than what I give you now. After all… it’s only fair.. You owe me so much…” You push him away, quickly standing from your seat, “No.” He looks up at you, a dangerous glint in his eyes as a distorted smile creeps onto his face. He stands up, walking closer to you. Your heart is pounding, threatening to break free from the confines of your chest. “No?”, He laughs, but there is no humour in it. “You think you can tell me no?”
Dottore moves to caress your cheek, but you grip onto his wrist before he can. He huffs out a laugh, a crazed look in his eyes. He grabs both your wrists in one hand, pinning you to the wall, “You think you can stop me? You think I don’t know about the way you think about me? The sweet little dreams you have of me…” Your face pales. How did he know about the dreams…?
He now caresses your cheek with his free hand as if you were truly his lover all this time, “You’re easy to read, little one…” You try to squirm from his grasp only to make his smile grow wider, “You’re not going to leave me. Not now…” He leans in close to your ear and whispers, “Not ever.” He nips at your earlobe, pulling a gasp from your throat. You don’t want this. Maybe you do… Maybe he deserves it after all he’s done for you… No. No. Stop thinking like this. Suddenly you feel dizzy. Was it the way he had you pinned against the wall? How close he was? No. He had drugged your portion of the food. He smirks as your vision begins to fade to nothingness. “Mine.”
Your eyes slowly blink open. You move to stretch, only to find that your wrists have been cuffed to a metal bedpost. You look down and sigh in relief to see that you still had the clothes on that you had the night before. That was last night… right? Your heart jumps in your chest when Dottore appears in the room with a tray of food. “What’s going on? Please let me go, I promise I’ll do whatever you want”, you plead desperately. He just smiles and sets the tray down on the nightstand by the bed before sitting down on the bed. He reaches out and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, “I’m afraid I can’t do that, little one.”
A tear slips down your cheek as you turn from his gaze. He clicks his tongue as he gently wiped the tear away, “Now, now. There’s no need for tears. Haven’t I treated you so well? What is there to cry about?” His saccharine voice made your heart ache. You turn to face him again, looking at him with glassy eyes and bottom lip trembling. Dottore tilts his head as he studies your expression.
He admits to himself that the sight stirs something within him and the feeling was not sympathy. He reaches for the bowl of warm soup on the tray and scoops a small bit into the spoon and holds it to your lips, “Be careful now. It’s still a bit hot.” You look from the soup spoon to his eyes, then back down. You give in and part your lips slightly. Your obedience bringing a smile to his face as he feeds you the first spoonful, “Such a good girl.”
You sputter from the heat, the soup dribbles down your chin causing Dottore to click his tongue again in annoyance as he slams the bowl back down onto the tray, “What a waste.” His voice is sharp and it feels as though it cuts right through you. Before you can apologize and beg for another chance, he begins tearing open your shirt; buttons flying across the room. He cups one on your breasts as he looks into your frightened eyes, then he squeezes.
You can’t help but bite down on your bottom lip as a sick sense of pleasure washes over you. Dottore chuckles softly at your change in demeanor and begins pinching your pebbled nipple between his fingers, “See? You like it…” You shake your head in defiance but he quickly grabs your throat with his other hand, “Don’t try to deny it.” The hand toying with your breasts travels down to your thigh and one finger presses against your soaked panties.
Dottore smirks at you as he moves your panties to the side and presses down on your clit with his thumb, drawing a small whimper from you, “Your little cunt is so soaked, it’s just begging for me to claim it.” You can’t help the tears that slip down your cheeks. You feel so ashamed for enjoying his touch when you felt that you shouldn’t be. You feel like you’ve been used this whole time. Was his true goal to mentor you or did he just want your body…to make you his?
Dottore leans in and licks the tears from your cheek as he slips a finger into your wet cunt. A shiver racks your body from both actions, letting out a quiet moan. He begins pumping his finger in and out in a slow, torturous way as he watches your face twist in both pleasure and disgust. His voice is low and sultry as his hot breath tickles your face, “You’ve thought about me doing this to you before, haven’t you? What a sweet little student you are… Here I was trying to be your mentor and you were thinking filthy thoughts about me…” Dottore lets out a devious chuckle when he feels your walls clamp down on his finger.
“For someone who doesn’t want this, you seem to be enjoying yourself so far”, he teases. He adds a second finger and begins to pick up his pace; his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. You try to hold back your moans but fail. It feels too good even though you’re trying so hard to hate it all. Dottore lets go of your throat and graos your chin, tilting your head slightly to the side. He licks a line up your neck then begins nibbling and sucking at your sensitive pulse point. He’s determined to leave his mark on your body to show you that you now belong to him and him alone.
The way his fingers pump in and out of you, his harsh kisses to your neck, and his thumb pressing and circling your clit bring you closer to orgasm, “G-gonna cum”, you mumble out as you moan. Dottore immediately stops what he’s doing, pulling his fingers away from your core and his lips away from your neck. More tears fall as you groan in dissatisfaction of having your orgasm completely ruined. He simply laughs and presses a kiss to your cheek, “Oh I apologize~ Did I ruin your climax?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. He was immensely satisfied by your reactions and the tears you continue to spill.
Dottore begins unbuttoning his own shirt as he stares down at you, “You cum when I say you can cum. Besides… You’re only allowed to cum on my cock.” His words alone make your eyes roll back and your walls clamp down around nothing. He discards his shirt and tugs his pants down just enough to free his long, girthy cock. He gives it a few pumps as you watch, completely mesmerized yet terrified at the same time. There was no way you could take his cock in your pussy.
Dottore smirks at your expression and leans down, positioning his cock to your entrance, “Don’t worry, my love~ I’ll make it fit.” You try to move away from him, but your handcuffed wrists and your position on the bed make it impossible. He leans forward, rubbing his aching cock against your soaked cunt, letting your arousal coat his length. You let out a small whine when the head of his dick catches against your clit, your hips move upwards on its own accord. Dottore raises an eyebrow under his mask as his lips curve up, “Oh? Looks like someone wants more.” He brings his lips to your ear and whispers, “Beg for it. Tell me you want my cock inside this pretty little pussy of yours.”
You feel your heart flutter, unsure if it’s from fear of what he’s asking you to do or if you truly wanted this. You shake your head slightly which angers him yet again. Dottore grips your jaw tightly, his lips inches from yours, “Say it.” You let out a broken cry and his grip tightens further, “P-please.. Put i-it in…” His demeanor shifts back to satisfaction, “Put what in~?” You let out a shaky breath, “Y-your c-cock.. Put your c-cock in my pussy, p-please.”
He releases your jaw and presses a kiss to your forehead, “There you go. That wasn’t so hard now was it~?” You sniffle and shake your head. Dottore caresses your cheek gently, “This might hurt.” Without another word, he pushes his thick length inside your tight walls. Your cry morphs into a moan when he hits that spongy spot inside you in just the right way. Tears spill down your cheeks yet again, the pain and pleasure of having him inside you was incredibly intense. Seeing your tears only turned him on even more.
Dottore begins thrusting deep and hard with reckless abandon. The way your gummy walls gripped his cock was intoxicating to him. He needed more. You struggle against your restraints, desperate to grab hold of him as he battered your insides. Heavy breaths mix with moans and grunts as you both begin to lose yourselves in this moment. You can’t deny the way his cock made you feel despite wanting to push him away in disgust. You were disgusted by him and even more disgusted by yourself for finding any ounce of pleasure from what was happening to you.
Dottore’s thrust start getting sloppy as he gets closer and closer to orgasm, “Cum with me. Cum on my cock.” His voice comes out ragged and breathy as sweat beads on his forehead. As much as you wish you could stop yourself, you find yourself coming undone all over his cock. Your walls clamp down on his length, milking his own orgasm as he spills his sticky seed in your pussy. Dottore’s cock throbs inside of you as you both ride out the intense orgasm.
“You’re mine now. You’re never going to leave me. I’m going to pump you so full of my cum each day you won’t ever be able to leave”, his dark words haunted you as he pulls his cock out of you and tucks himself back into his pants. He takes a moment to admire just how ruined you look and his lips curve into an uncharacteristically sweet smile, “Beautiful…” he mutters. Dottore gets up from the bed and opens the handcuffs. Your arms fall to your sides and you rub at the chaffed skin of your wrists. Dottore holds his hand out to you, “Come. Let’s clean you up.” You hesitantly take his hand and follow him on shaky legs to the bathroom where he takes his time bathing you and giving you such care it makes you dizzy.
Weeks have gone by since the first time he forced himself on you. Not a day went by where he didn’t repeat his actions, making sure to stuff you so full of cum that it leaked from your sore pussy. This day in particular, although your wrists were cuffed yet again, Dottore didn’t cuff you to the bed. After he took care of you, he left you in the room alone. It took you a few minutes to realize that you weren’t attached to the bed. You get up from the bed and quietly make your way to the open bedroom door, peeking your head out to see if you could see or hear him.
You let out a breath and begin making your way down the hall as quietly as you possibly can. You didn’t know what he would do to you if he found you out of your room. Soon your eyes fall to a door further away that seems to have sunlight pouring out from under it. Your eyes well with tears and you no longer care about being stealthy.
Finally you have a chance to break free. The sound of your bare feet slap against the cold floor as you try to run for an exit. Your breathing is heavy, teary eyes full of hope thinking that today is the day you can finally escape him. Right before you can reach the exit, a large hand grips your arm tightly, causing you to stumble and fall to your hands and knees. You’re flipped over onto your back with him looming over you with a smirk on his face, “Going somewhere, my love?”
꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒷
a/n: honestly if you read this all the way through, i am sending a billion kisses to you through my phone. no i will not pay for your therapy, sorry
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demonichikikomori · 4 months
Text
Flex
Sebek Zigvolt x Fem!Reader Word Count: 1.9k+ Tags: MC is Checkin’ Out the Gun Show/Suggestive
Art by 〇 on Pixiv!
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I am not against Sebek Zigvolt Propaganda… HOWEVER! I wish he would use his indoor voice a little more. He... His VA speaking normally is nice. I... Ahem... This was technically made as a birthday gift for the wonderful @ruggiethethuggie since the other gift is still... Unfinished... And I'm sorry... I will finish it one day... Please accept this for now my dahling and happy birthday hehe. I would've wrote some Rizzley content but... I don't feel confident yet wwwww. Anyway, have a Hellishly Happy Birthday! <3 <3 <3
SUMMARY:
You asked Sebek to flex for you. Why? Ace said if you could get a photo of him flexing before the end of the night, he would do all of your Animal Linguistics homework for a month! How hard could it be?
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“Human, what are you attempting to ask of me?!” Sebek was already shouting. His brows furrowed and thick forearms flexed beneath his black blazer as his arms crossed over his chest. Thankfully you met with him outside near the gardens so his voice wasn’t echoing through the halls of Night Raven College. “I want to take pictures of you flexing.” You responded with feigned confidence in your voice, struggling to keep yourself from warbling or looking anywhere but his face. You never actually dreamed of asking Sebek such a thing. You also never planned to speak with him unless you had to. This was brought about as a dare from Ace Trappola. If you can get a picture of Sebek flexing for you, he would do ALL of your Animal Linguistics homework on your behalf for a straight month. It sounded easy when Ace offered up the proposal. Key word: Sounded. 
Sebek was staring down at you with a face full of suspicion, his lips curling with mild disgust. You could see how sharp his cuspids were. “Why are you asking me for such a thing?! Could it be you are searching for my weak points?! I won’t let you find them! I am Malleus’ impenetrable shield!” He roared and reached for his magical pen, causing you to take three nervous steps back with your hands held up in defense. “No! No! No it’s not like that! It’s nothing to do with Malleus!” You cried out as Sebek clutched the glowing pen in his grasp. His eyes narrowed angrily as you scrambled to find an excuse. “Then why would you want to get a photo of me exposed?” He snarled with venom in his tone. You could feel your face becoming warm from the way he phrased the question. “Don’t say it like that! Just know that I need to get a picture of you flexing!” You answered and he still looked unwilling to do anything with you or for you. “It’s for personal reasons!” Still nothing. “I want to try building muscle mass and I wanted a picture for inspiration!” You shouted, you were running out of ideas and you were even more embarrassed now. Your face was on fire and you honestly wished that the Earth would open beneath you and swallow you whole. If Ace was here, he would be laughing so hard his stomach would’ve burst. You couldn’t tell Sebek that Ace sent you, he would downright refuse if he knew the truth. Sebek hesitated before tucking his pen away, a stern look replaced the suspicion and his posture relaxed. “I see. Fear not, Human! For the sake of becoming stronger, I shall agree!” He shouted and you felt your muscles relax hearing him comply. “Under one circumstance!” Damn it. He crossed his arms over his chest with a confident smile, you could see his eyes glittering with joy. “I wish to see your resolve in exchange for my photo! You shall be exercising with me tonight!” He announced and you felt your jaw fall slack. He expects you to actually exercise with him? The most you’ve ever done was a few meek push-ups during P.E with Coach Vargas. He didn’t give you a chance to refuse as he laughed and walked off, leaving you alone in the courtyard to mentally prepare yourself for tonight.
*+=+*
You arrived late, closer to 11pm since you needed to put Grim to rest before you could sneak out. The atmosphere of Diasomnia was very intimidating, along with the students who stayed within the castle-like dorm. You had only made it a few steps past the heavy, gothic door before running into something. Something very solid. Thanks to this very solid object, it saved you from Lilia trying to offer you a snack or Malleus staring at you in total silence like a freak. You were still as Sebek looked down at you with a frown.
“Human, your eyes seem to fail you! Did you not see me in front of you?!” He shouted, but made no effort to move as you buried your face deeper into his chest. His uniform was absent. Sebek was dressed in a black compression shirt, and dark green sweatpants. The Diasomnia emblem was printed in white on his left thigh. “Sorry. I didn’t see you. Honest.” You spoke into his chest, relaxing against him as you silently admired how sturdy his body truly was. His toned abdomen, his thick pectoral muscles, his solid thighs, and even his large, strong hands now gripping you by the shoulders to shove you away. As he held you at an arm's length away, snapping angrily at you for your lack of awareness, you glanced down to see he was wearing a large pair of fluffy dragon slippers. Cartoonish and cute with tiny wings and a forked, felt, light pink tongue. They were a stark contrast to Sebek’s brash personality. 
“Enough dawdling! You are late, and the Diasomnia curfew had begun two hours prior to your arrival!” He huffed as you rolled your eyes in annoyance. “I told you, I had to wait for Grim to go to sleep first.” You scoffed and walked towards the stairs with him angrily following behind you. He was scolding you the entire time for your ‘timeliness’ and ‘lack of dedication’. But you don’t recall telling Sebek you would be showing up early to work out with him. The two of you entered his room, and you had to be cautious to step over a small pile of books. He was silent, but you noticed he was suddenly flustered. “Stand over there!” He commanded, and you obeyed, taking a spot next to his dresser. 
You couldn’t help but smile as he began to tidy up his room. The books on the floor were cleared away, he hid a stack of papers into a notebook. He closed his closet filled with dark colored clothing, and he tucked his sword underneath his bed. Sebek’s cheeks were red, his face was scrunched into a scowl as he turned and pointed at you. “Now we may begin! Come! Show me your strength!” He commanded as you approached and stood before him, resisting the urge to smother your face in the valley of his broad chest. Sebek gripped your arms gently, giving them a soft squeeze before he observed your limbs one by one. He huffed as his calloused fingers slid across your skin, gliding along your forearm down to your nails. “Hm. Your health could be better, but we will make you a mountain of muscled perfection with plenty of training!” Sebek boasted with a gentle smack to your shoulders, causing you to flinch. You frowned at the idea of becoming nothing but pure muscle… Like a pro-wrestler?
“I will show you my basic exercises first, and because it is late, we will have you participate in our next meet!” He let you go before getting down to the floor. You sighed with relief, knowing you wouldn’t have to exert too much of your energy tonight. You’d need it for the long walk back to Ramshackle. “Human! Get on top of me!” He shouted, taking you by surprise as you looked down at him with your brows knit together.
He was in a push up position,.his head facing the floor as you nervously looked around. “Uhhh..?” You weren’t sure how to get on top of him. “Sit on me!” His voice was loud enough to rattle the walls and you were starting to feel flustered. “Okay, okay! Stop saying that!” You hoped that the walls were thick as you swung a leg over Sebek’s body, and slowly sat down on his lower back. Your feet were planted on the floor and you could see him slowly lowering himself to the ground, causing your legs to bend as you nervously looked towards the door. Now you were begging that everyone in the dorm was asleep. “Lift your legs, trust me to hold your weight on top of me!” He snapped, sounding agitated by your feet on the floor. “Oh my god- Sebek please talk quieter…” You whined as you lifted your legs and crossed them below his shoulder blades. He did not falter, instead, his push-ups began to quicken. 
You sucked in air with widened eyes as he continued the steady pace of his push ups. “You make an excellent addition of weight, Human! You are the perfect size for me to become stronger for the sake of Malleus!” He laughed as you could see sweat collecting at his temples. His usually slicked back hair was falling loose around his face. You didn’t think he would have such ease with a human sized weight on top of him. How heavy were the dumbbells he usually lifted?! “Your arms look far too weak to hold my weight! So, I will show you mercy tonight!” He barked with a soft grunt, lowering himself to the floor again with a laugh. You couldn’t fathom how the conversation sounded out of context. Here you are, showing up late at night to meet with Sebek, and he can’t handle using an inside voice. Saying all of these strange things so late at night, hopefully no one gets any strange ideas. You reached for your phone, pulling it from your pocket as you observed the time. You only had ten minutes to midnight.
“Sebek, we should take a quick break!” You suggested as his push ups showed no sign of slowing down. You were sure he had already done over 50 by now. “A break?! I have hardly broken a sweat!” He sounded annoyed with your request and you started to squirm on top of him. “I need that motivational photo of you, remember?!” You announced as he finally slowed to a stop. “That’s right! How could I have forgotten?!” Sebek allowed you to climb off of him, the both of you getting to your feet as your heart began to race. Sebek towered above you, a bead of sweat rolling down his neck as you lifted your phone with your face started to grow warm. 
He stood before you with a proud smile, and flexed his arm for you to behold. You quickly snapped the picture, only five minutes to midnight. You could see the thick muscular arm sporting a long vein in the photo, paired with Sebek’s very handsome and proud smile. You stared at the photo in shock, observing the outline of his chest through the tight shirt, his long sharp fangs, the crease in his eyebrows… Everything. 
His bicep suddenly flexed around your throat as he let out a hearty laugh. Your oxygen was being stolen away with each light squeeze and your face began to redden. But it wasn’t from the lack of air. “Human! We certainly must meet again for your training! With such weak arms, you’ll never become as strong as me! And a happy birthday to you. We will build your body so in the next year, we may fight properly!” He laughed as you groaned in response, your phone now dangling loosely in your fingers as you sent Ace the photo as your other hand tapped against his arm. You might pass out if he doesn’t let you go soon. But at least you won’t have to worry about homework for the next full month. 
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Tagged Accounts: @ruggiethethuggie @cvlutos @candlewitch-cryptic @yandere-kou @epelorchard
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Hi, for the wip ask game, bff Soap Hurt Comfort? :') please and thank you!
for the wip ask game--lighter, sweeter bff!Soap. you're meeting him at the airport. he's coming home after being MIA. scared you to death.
this one is short, so here it is edited + posted in full. for the hurt/comfort girlies :)
600 words / 23
“Thought you couldna live without me, eh?”
You tackle Soap in a hug, tactical gear and all. "Shut up. Shut up. God, you're alive."
He laughs and returns the embrace. "Too stubborn to die. I thought I told you not to worry about me."
You grip the straps on the back of his vest and keep your face in his chest to hide the tears threatening to track down your cheeks. "You can't just say that and go MIA. They talked about putting your name on a memorial and everything."
"You know me. Always gotta do things my way."
"Your way is stupid."
He chuckles and rubs your back. "Yeah, I'm stupid. I've missed you, though. I haven't stopped thinkin' bout you."
"Really? Cause I..." The dam breaks. You can't stop the flood of hot, angry tears. "I missed you too." Then you start sobbing. God, it's embarrassing. But you refuse to let go of him.
He strokes your hair. "Hen, don't cry. Please. I'm here and I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm your man, aye?"
You shake your head, stubbornly refusing to move.
He rests his cheek on you. "I don't want you to be sad. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I love you."
Hearing him say that just makes your heart skip before the tears come out faster. You love him, too, more than a friend should. How could anyone not fall in love with him? He's Johnny. It's just that you were always too chickenshit to tell him. You thought you lost your chance.
"Come on, look at me."
"No," you mutter, refusing to unbury your face from his shirt. Scared to, maybe. "I don't want you to make it up to me. I want to stay here."
"That's no problem. We can stay here for however long. I just need to know you're not upset at me. I can't stand seein' you sad. Makes me sad."
You sniff. "You deserve it."
"Aye, I do. But what can I do to cheer you up'?"
"Nothing," you mumble into his chest. "I've been crying for two weeks because of you."
You try to collect yourself anyway, wiping your eyes with your sleeve. His squadmates stand a little ways away from the terminal, looking curious at this scene you're causing. This isn't exactly how you wanted to meet them. You're supposed to be Johnny's cool best friend, not a weepy mess.
Johnny recaptures your attention, wiping away a stray tear track with his thumb. "You've been cryin' about me?"
You shove him, but it's light and there's no anger in it. "Of course I have, asshole, you're my best friend. They said you were MIA. Why wouldn't I cry?"
He grins. "But I'm here now, though. Could use a wee bit of comforting myself. You mind?"
You sniff, nodding as you press your sleeves into your eyes one more time to dry them. He's right. He's the one who's been away from home for a month. Probably endured some draconian shit, missing for two weeks and all. But the way he's looking at you through those blue eyes of his... it's not fair how easy it is to fall under his spell again.
"Yeah. I guess. What do you want? More fawning and crying?"
He laughs softly and pulls you into another tight hug. He presses a kiss to your temple, and you have to act like it doesn't make your heart explode into tiny pieces. He rests his chin on the top of your head, content to keep you here, totally enveloped in his frame. "Mm, that'll do. Just to start."
...
wip ask game / more Soap / masterlist tag
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kittievampire · 1 year
Note
There's this text message from Simeon where he doesn't know how to take pictures on his phone. MC offers to help and he says that Lucifer would be impressed to see his pictures if MC taught him what to do.
My headcanon is that Simeon isn't as naive as he seems tho (cuz how you gonna be an angle and be dressed in the most slutty outfit huh). So MC goes to purgatory hall, helps him out, then "helps him out" wink wonk and he uses his 'new' camera skills to take pictures of her. And a couple 'accidentally' make their way to Lucifer.
I think it would be best if the way Simeon acts genuinely makes mc believe that he's innocent so she's not just naive, he's playing her ya know? Fuckboy Simeon? Gaslihhting? Imagine if he said "you know what you're doing". Okey tanks <3
So jealous cause I never got this text from Simeon >:(
Like, does bro not love me too? Wtf?
Anyways,
Lemme see what I have in my bag, dear~
Click here if ya wanna request!
Taking Photos is Hard!
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Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Feigning Innocence (Gaslighting), Fuckboy! Simeon x Fem! MC, Photo/Video Exhibitionism, Creampie, Mention of Facial, Lucifer is the real victim here
Enjoy.
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Simeon wasn't the best with technology, and you knew this.
That's why you were so compliant when he requested your assistance.
"I'm sorry, again, for inconveniencing you, MC." He apologized once more as he stepped aside, allowing you entry to his shared room with Luke. "Luke is out right now. He and Barbatos had planned a baking marathon, and Solomon wanted to tag along as well, so it's just the two of us in here."
You nodded your head in understanding, sitting down on the white sofa. "Ooh, this is comfy," You said with a small smile. "Okay!" You clasped your hands together. "You said you needed help with photos. Do you know how to get to the camera?"
Simeon pulled the device out of his pocket, pinching his brows together as he swiped through the applications. "Yes... I believe so, I've been there once... What does it look like?" He asked, eyes flicking to meet your gaze for a mere moment before looking back down at the screen. "It has a camera icon," You said, gently grasping his arm and tugging at it so he'd sit down beside you on the sofa.
The angel sat himself down beside you, and you peered over his shoulder to look at the D.D.D., pointing at the camera icon. "Right there." He clicked on it, screen immediately presenting a closer look at his crotch area. You could've sworn you saw a tent in his pants, but you quickly shook it off with a blush.
"Okay, so, do you see this huge white circle right here?" Simeon nodded. "That's what you're going to click to take a photo."
The angel stared down at the D.D.D. "Oh, what does this thing do?" He asked, swiping to the video option and pointing at the red circle. "That's to take a video. Go back to the camera."
There was silence for a moment.
"How do I do that?" You let out a small sigh, swiping back to the camera option. "Try taking a photo, I'll be your model!" You joked, leaning back onto the couch. "Ah, okay! Wow, you sure know what you're doing!" Simeon shot up with a smile, holding the D.D.D. in each hand horizontally. You sighed in relief, thankful that he knew how to, at the very least, hold the damn thing when taking a photo. "Tilt your head to the side a little? Put your knees together, and push your arms against yourself, but leave your hands on the sofa!"
"Wow, you're really getting into the modeling thing," You chuckled softly, following directions and adjusting your position as per requested. The camera flashed and Simeon repositioned himself. "Turn over,"
_
After adjusting your position multiple times in this little photoshoot, you found yourself bent over the sofa, skirt at your ankles, and Simeon slowly pulling your panties down to your knees. "S-Simeon, I don't think this is necessary!" The angel frowned, gently running a hand over your ass and caressing your lower back, which made you shudder. "Come now, MC. I'll let you photograph my most intimate areas as well if you be good for me." His voice was so sweet, almost as if he wasn't caressing the nakedness of the lower half of your body.
Simeon pulled his hand away, pushing his white pants down with one hand. "Stay just like that, Dove," He murmured softly, swallowing a lump in his throat as he saw your drooling cunt spew more of your essence onto your panties. A shudder sound was heard and you could see the wall glow a bit as the flash went off. Your breathing hitched as you felt your juices running down your thigh, pussy absolutely soaked in anticipation.
You wanted—
No, you needed him to do something. Anything!
Instead, Simeon stood behind you, snapping photos (mainly close-ups of your sopping cunt), while fisting his weeping hard cock. He then paused for a moment, swiping to the record option and hitting the red dot. "Dove," He moaned out softly, reaching out the hand that was getting himself off to gently run his fingers over your slit. You gasped. "What's this, hm? Why are you so wet?" You shook your head, burying your face into one of the pillows on the sofa. "I didn't know you were so perverted, Dove. You're dripping," He cooed, shifting his position so that he pressed the blunt tip against your entrance, precum oozing down to your clit. "W-Wha—?!"
You felt like the air was punched out of you, letting out a sharp gasp as Simeon slammed his entire cock into you in one go, your walls squeezing his length. You cried out, only for the angel behind you to shove your head into the pillow to silence you. "Shhhhh. MC, your voice is so angelic, but I want to hear what this cute little pussy of yours has to say as well," He said, angling the camera to capture how he thrusted his hips forward, cock slamming into you, earning a squelch from your cunt and a whine from your mouth, one that was muffled into the pillow. "There you go," He moaned out softly, moving his hand down to gently caress your ass.
Your walls clenched tightly around him, eyes rolling back as tears started to gather at your lower lash line. You squeezed the pillow in front of you, body jerking forward in protest to his rough fucking. Your vision was going blurry, and it felt like your brain was melting. All you could think of was Simeon and his huge cock that was fucking you into the sofa.
Simeon grasped one of your legs, lifting it and pushing your knee against the couch. This new angle allowed him to shift closer, thrust deeper into you, slamming into the spot that made you scream. "Quiet, MC," He warned softly, one of his hands moving down to circle your throbbing clit.
The stimulation from the bundle of nerves, as well as from his merciless thrusting, was sending you near the edge. "S-Simeon!" You moaned out, hugging the pillow close to your face. "That's it, Dove, let everyone know who's fucking you so good." His voice was so taunting yet so smooth, a sharp contrast to your shaky and slightly raspy voice.
He felt your walls convulse around him, letting out a gasp at how tight you were. "You're close, aren't you, MC?" Simeon stopped himself from leaning forward to kiss you, as that would screw with the camera angle. He chuckled softly. "You're squeezing me so tight, how naughty."
With a muffled cry of his name, you felt him slam into your sweet spot once more, and your orgasm racked through your body harshly, juices gushing out of your cunt, further lubricating his cock. Simeon started thrusting faster, the tip of his length bullying your cervix as he chased his own high, free hand gripping one of your hips tightly. "Gonna cum in you, Dove—" He groaned— "Take it! Take it all! Take all of my cum like a good girl, MC!" He whimpered out, almost begged before he buried himself deep inside of your cunt, moaning as he came. You could feel him filling you up, a white ring of his cum forming just around his cock as he painted your walls and filled you to the brim. He thrusted a few more times, riding out his high, before slowly pulling out of you.
Simeon zoomed in on your pussy, that was drooling with his cum, before stopping the video and taking a few pictures.
You turned your head to the side so you could breathe, panting heavily as you tried to gather your thoughts and come back to reality. That was, until you felt something poke against your cheek. You glanced over to see Simeon holding his cock up to your face, looking up to see Simeon holding the D.D.D., camera pointed directly at you.
"You didn't think we were done were you?"
_
Lucifer was in his study, stressed out from the stack of papers that still needed to be signed. He decided to take a short break and scroll through his D.D.D., though he wasn't expecting to get a text from Simeon so late into the night.
With a raised brow, the eldest looked at the notification.
Simeon: 3 attachments
"So he finally learned how to send pictures," The Avatar of Pride mumbled to himself, clicking on the notification before catching his breath in his throat. Lucifer nearly choked at what he saw.
The first picture was of your naked body sprawled out on a bed, a lewd expression on your face, and what he assumed was Simeon's cock balls-deep inside of your cunt. The second picture was of your face in front of the same cock, coated in cum with a dazed look on your face. The third was just of your pussy with cum pouring out of it, streaming down your thighs, as if you'd been stuffed completely full.
Lucifer felt his pants get tighter around the crotch, failing to notice the three dots that indicated Simeon typing.
Simeon: Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know that would send to you!
Simeon: How do I save these to my gallery?
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Hope you liked this anon!
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msbigredmachine · 4 months
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Warm (Jey Uso/OC)
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An on-again, off-again couple takes the snowy ride to the next town together.
PAIRING: Jey Uso x OC
Word Count: 6.3k
Warning: The usual smut and everything in between.
A/N: First fic of the year! Enjoy!
Click here if you want to be on the tag list. If I’ve forgotten anyone please let me know so I can add you.
Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs.
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"Hey girl, got a sec?"
Looking up to see Nia standing right in front of her, Malia stood up straighter. The locker room was full of her friends and fellow wrestlers, all done for the evening and packing up to leave the arena. "What's up?"
"I totally forgot that I agreed to carpool with Maxxine after the show," she said as they exited the locker room together. "I'm really sorry, it totally slipped my mind."
"Oh, that sucks," Malia said, a little disappointed as Nia was great company. "It's no big deal. I'll figure something out."
"Are you sure? It's starting to snow out there. Will you be okay on your own?"
"Alone on the road with full control of the heating and my own playlist?" Malia laughed. "I'll be fine."
Nia nodded. "Okay. I feel bad, so I'll ask around and see if anyone needs a ride. That way you can split the bills and stuff," she offered, pausing when she looked over Malia's shoulder. "Oooh, look who's coming our way," she grinned.
Curious, Malia turned around, and her heart skipped a beat as Josh Fatu walked in their direction, his carry-on behind him and his phone in front of him. She plastered an unbothered expression on her face and turned back to Nia, but the Irresistible Force saw right through the facade.
"Girl, you're blushing already!" she cackled. "You and him still fucking?"
"No, I'm not blushing. And no, we're not fucking," Not lately anyway, Malia added to herself, fluffing her Afro as nonchalantly as possible.
"Liar. You two crack me up, you're totally in love with each other but keep acting like you're not. I did warn you about the whole friends-with-benefits thing."
She did. And Malia caught feelings and had been trying to run from those feelings since. But not with much success, given that she and Josh were both part of the Monday Night Raw roster and lived in the same goddamn city which gave him plenty of access to her. The problem was she was falling in love and he wasn't, so she tried to save face by imposing an extended 'break' from each other, under the guise of 'seeing other people'. Being alone with him on a long midnight drive wasn't going to help her cause to break away.
"It's a three-hour trip from here to Cleveland. Think you can hold off for that long if you go together?" Nia asked, a little too gleefully for Malia's taste.
"Stop with the slander. You make it sound like I'm this raging nympho," she rebuffed.
"When it comes to him? Yes! I've witnessed it! You jump each other's bones every chance you get. How you guys aren't official, I'll never understand. He's getting closerrrr," Nia sang, clearly enjoying the way Malia was trying not to squirm. "Let me go talk to him."
Malia started to panic as Nia moved towards him. "Where are you going?" she warned, "Nia, no!"
"Um, you want a ride or not? Hey, Joshyyyy!"
"Savelina!" Malia hissed, falling silent when Josh looked up from his phone, his gaze lingering on her for a long, tense beat before moving to Nia. "Sup ladies," he said, tipping his bearded chin up in greeting. His jaw moved repeatedly, and she saw he was chewing gum when he opened his mouth to speak. Juicy Fruit, she predicted. His favorite.
"I heard you're driving by yourself tonight," Nia said to him.
His eyebrows rose skeptically. "Yeah..."
"You want a passenger? Cuz my girl over here needs someone to ride with, in more ways than one..."
"Lina, shut up," Malia cut in, stepping in front of her and meeting Josh head-on. "Forgive our friend, Becky hit her in the head too many times tonight," she explained, her insides warming when Jey laughed. "I was supposed to carpool with bitch over here but she made other plans and left me stranded. So umm...if you're going alone, would you mind if I tagged along?" Why the fuck did she sound like she was asking him to Prom?
Again, the air around them simmered with an unknown element. When he took longer than usual to respond, her heart sank a little. "It's cool if you don't want to, I can find someone else-"
"Nah, it's all good, uce, you can come along," he spoke up with a smile. "But I'm 'bout to leave right now, so if you ready-"
"I am," Malia answered, a bit too quickly, and flushed with embarrassment when the corner of his mouth curled upward in a bemused smile. It was then she realized that Nia had disappeared, leaving the two standing alone in the empty hallway.
"Uhh...We should get going," Malia spoke up, scratching awkwardly at the nape of her curly Afro.
Josh nodded, pausing as his eyes scanned her up and down again. "This what you wearin'?" he inquired.
She made a quick, albeit thorough twirl to show off her outfit, a short, figure-hugging beige dress accompanied by a black pair of furry knee-high Uggs. "Yeah, why? What's wrong with it?"
"It's a lil' chilly, no? I mean, don't get me wrong, you look real good, it's just-" Catching himself, he trailed off nervously before he could say anything else inappropriate.
"My jacket is right here, I'll be fine. But if I do get too cold, I'm sure you can keep me warm." Her smile was syrupy sweet as she let the innuendo sink in. The awkwardness was melting away, leaving only the sexual synergy they were both accustomed to.
Josh chuckled to himself and stepped closer to her. "A'ight, I see what'chu tryna do," he said in a lower, huskier timbre that made her loins flutter. "Let's get outta here before I do sum'n we'll both like."
She wanted to ask what was stopping him but instead took the hand he held out to her. It was big and protective and the gentle way he rubbed his thumb over hers always made her feel safe. Together they left the building and into the indoor parking lot. He helped her put her things in the trunk of his Ford Expedition rental, and she fought the urge to stare at his ass when he bent over.
As they began their journey, her gaze landed on her on-again, off-again 'boyfriend', his own fixed on the road ahead. Wearing a fitting dual-colored Nike tracksuit, he looked yummy himself. The hand that had held hers was now on the steering wheel, and she found herself wishing it was touching her again but on a more risqué part of her body this time. They were on a 'break' but she envisioned a lot of difficulty keeping things platonic tonight.
"Since when do you listen to Bon Jovi?" She broke the ice several minutes later, talking over the eighties rock ballad that was playing on the radio and was surprised it hadn't been turned off. "You always used to tell me to change that shit," she laughed.
"They not so bad, they got some good workout songs," he defended with a shrug. "How come you didn't take a flight tonight?" he asked.
She gave a shrug of her own. "I don't know. I probably should have. But with the weather and everything, there'd probably be tons of delays at the airport. I would have ended up sitting there all night. How about you?"
"Same. I prefer the open road anyway," he replied. "Drive fast, blast some good music, you know what it is." He shot her a grin, making selections on the GPS. "Everything good? You comfortable?"
Smoothing her dress down her crossed legs, she nodded and tilted her seat back. "Yeah, I'm good," she responded.
"So how was Christmas? Whatchu do? Spend time with your man?" Josh asked.
Malia snorted and flipped her hair. "Ain't no man. He's an insecure bum so he's gone. I stayed with my brother and his family for a few days, played with my nieces, they're so big now."
He wanted to feel bad about the way his heart leapt for joy about her relationship status. "I told you he was a bum from the jump, uce," he mumbled.
"Well, you were right. Congrats," she bit sarcastically.
"I ain't wanna be right though. I just want you to be happy," said Josh, exchanging a glance with her, his stare filled with its familiar warmth that was charged with something else.
Being here is a bad idea.
"What about you? You were with your boys and their mom, I'm guessing," she kept the conversation going.
"More of the boys, less of their mom," he clarified.
"That's it? No woman to warm your bed?"
He snorted and shot her a bombastic side-eye. "If I remember clearly, you sent the last woman I was with packin', with your razor-sharp ass tongue."
Malia burst out laughing. "Ha, that bitch? She's a clout-chasing airhead. One conversation with her and my IQ got fucked up. Stop messin' with those NXT bimbos, Joshua. It's not a good look."
"Why you so pressed though?" He had an idea, but he wanted to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.
"I'm not pressed. You smarter than that. She wasn't good for you."
"And you know this, how?"
Because she ain't me. None of them are. "I just know," was all she said.
"Huh. We seem to 'know' a lot about each other," Josh noted, "So why don't you want us to stay together?" he asked.
And there it is. "You already know the answer," she responded, with a hint of attitude.
"No I don't, so how 'bout you fill me in, huh," he retorted. They had stopped at a red light so he now had all the time to look her in the eye.
Exhaling a heavy sigh, she refused to get suckered in. "Because. Your roster is deep enough as it is," she mumbled.
"What roster?"
Malia huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, we gonna play dumb now? I'm not the only woman you're fucking, Joshua."
"The last person I had sex with was you, right before you dumped me for ol' boy," Josh replied, annoyance creeping into his tone.
"Correction. I did not dump you. Dumping implies that we were dating," Malia argued. "I distinctly remember you saying you weren't looking for nothin' serious, so it ain't dumping if there's no relationship to dump."
The silence that followed was deafening, even with the music playing. The temperature in the car plummeted several degrees. Josh simply shook his head. "Damn, that how you feel all this time? Okay then." he tsked, releasing the brakes as the light turned green. "A'ight. Note taken."
The hurt swirling in his voice surprised her. Rattled, she opened her mouth to speak, but wisely decided to close it back. Because there really was nothing to say. This was the consequence of getting involved with someone without setting clear boundaries; the result of repeatedly holding off the simple task of defining a relationship — nothing but uncertainty and heartache. It was the bed she made long ago and now she had to lie in it.
But oddly enough, that seemed to be the appeal of entanglements; the thrill, the warped sense of freedom to do whatever you wanted to each other with no strings. But intimacy always had its attachments, and Malia had been attached to Josh for a long, long time with no idea how to cut the strings without getting hurt.
"The snow seems to be getting worse," she changed the subject and with good reason. They seemed to be driving into a storm. The snowfall was heavier and the nearly empty highway was turning white. "Are you sure we'll make it into Cleveland like this?"
Her question was answered only a few seconds later, by the flashing lights and flares up ahead. A car wreck, and a bad one judging from the amount of fire, rescue, and police crews on the scene. As Josh slowed the car to a crawl, they were greeted by a gruesome tableau.
The many bright, flashing lights cast a grotesque glow on the crumpled remains of an SUV. A black bag, zipped and strapped to a stretcher, was being loaded into the back of an ambulance. Malia's eyes widened with horror. The mangled car was the same type as theirs, and the driver's seat was covered in blood, a lot of it splattered on the white snow. "Oh no...Babe..." she breathed.
Her voice was tiny. Scared. Josh grabbed her hand and squeezed it repeatedly to get her attention. "Ay, don't look. Look at me," he cajoled, waiting for her to do so, running his thumb over hers to quell her panic. "I'll take the next exit. Let's find somewhere to crash until morning." He cringed. "Bad choice of words. Sorry."
"You don't mind stopping?" she asked, feeling a little sick. There was no way she was going any further with what she'd just witnessed.
"Personally, I'd rather be late gettin' where I'm going than never gettin' there at all."
"I agree. I'll check if there's any available hotels nearby," she offered, reaching for her phone in the console.
"You good?" he checked on her again, his fingers flexing around hers.
"I'm okay. It's just...that was horrible," Malia shuddered. "But you calmed me down. You've always been good at that." She smiled gratefully at him.
"Mm-hmm," he mumbled, as he lifted the back of her hand to his lips in a gentle kiss. He then rested his hand on her bare leg, running it up her smooth chocolate skin. Ironically, her dress gave him perfect access to the sensitivity of her inner thigh, and he allowed his fingers to dance over it.
Malia cast her eyes down to watch his hand disappear under her dress. This was what she liked about him so much; his boldness, his sense of adventure. Only he could dare to touch on her while driving on a dark, sleety highway. "Boy, what are you doin'?" she asked as he squeezed her thigh. She tried to play it cool, tried to act like her skin had not been set ablaze by his touch.
"Keepin' you warm," he affirmed nonchalantly, as he slid his palm over her lace panties, his favorite on her, enjoying the feel of her moist warmth against the fabric. He had since learned that he couldn't stay mad at her for long. "I miss you," he whispered, breaching her underwear with one finger.
"I miss you too," she admitted, jerking as the finger slipped inside of her. "Oh, shit," she gasped, tilting her head back against the leather headrest.
"Phew, you wet as fuck," Josh whistled, eyeing up his ex with a Cheshire Cat-like grin. "Ol' boy wasn't fuckin' you like he should?"
Before she could answer, he slid another digit into her wetness, drawing another moan from her. She moved her legs further apart, causing her dress to ride higher up, and grabbed his wrist with both hands. "Fuck, yeah," she sighed, going slack in her seat.
Maybe it wasn't the brightest idea, Josh realized, as the sound of her wanton moans filled the car. As her pussy tightened around his fingers. He wasn't doing much for his own erect state by doing this, but the look on her face convinced him to keep going. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, keeping his eyes on the road. "How's that feel, hmm?" he asked.
The only response she could muster was another breathy moan while strengthening her grip on his wrist. She didn't want to come just yet, but between his fingers twisting deep inside her tightening core and the added heat rushing through her, she knew she wouldn't last long. She wanted this to last forever, just like every time she was with him; she clung desperately to every second, because each one was always better than the last. He just hit different. He always did.
The spell broke when she heard him curse and he abruptly stopped, slipping his fingers out of her. "The fuck?" she whined.
"Sorry, I had to," Josh explained, pointing. The smoky haze of passion and frustration cleared quickly enough for her to realize they had left the expressway and were now pulling into the parking lot of a hotel. Crossing her arms petulantly, she sat up straighter and pouted. "Goddamn tease. You ain't slick," she grumbled.
"Nope. But you are," he emphasized, holding up his fingers covered in her essence and bringing them to his mouth. "Mmm, sweet and spicy, like always."
His dirty snicker had her pussy clenching again. This man was going to be the death of her.
Parking the Expedition in front of the hotel door, they rushed in with their bags to the check-in desk and found the exhausted-looking receptionist behind the counter. It was clear they'd had a massive influx of people and that she was the only one handling everything.
"You're just in luck. We have one room left," the lady replied when Josh asked her if they had any vacancies. "It's probably our smallest room and only has one queen-sized bed, but it's perfect for a lovely couple like yourselves," she smiled warmly.
"We'll take it," Josh responded, handing over his credit card before Malia could reject it. Given the state of the weather outside and that horrendous crash they came across, it was likely the best, safest option.
They got the keycards and made a quick stop at the nearby Chipotle to get some food. Josh paid again, boxing Malia against the counter with his big frame and frowning menacingly at the cashier who had the nerve to flirt with her. Though there technically was no territory to mark, she didn't mind. Besides, it was cold outside and his body heat was inviting and much needed. Afterwards, they returned to the hotel and made it into the small room that was warm, toasty, and quite clean, making them feel a bit better that they wouldn't be stuck in some Bates Motel-type murder house.
"Last time we were stuck in a room together, we spent all afternoon working out how many pinning combinations we could make each other come in," Malia reminisced as she bit into her burrito.
"Yeah. I remember winning," Josh grinned proudly. "You can have the bed, by the way," he gestured to her. "Imma sleep on the couch, give you some space."
"Why?" Malia gave him a stern look. "The bed is big enough for both of us. Plus, your back will be fucked up if you sleep on that lil ass couch."
She wasn't wrong; the couch felt rather firm and it wouldn't be pleasant. Josh was trying to be a gentleman, but he ultimately agreed since driving tomorrow with a backache did not sound ideal.
After finishing their meals, they settled in, and Malia texted the Talent Relations rep to inform them of her and Josh's whereabouts. Unfortunately, the weather forecast on TV was pretty grim as they were expecting upwards of forty inches of snow. Getting to their destination in time tomorrow would be a tough ask.
Josh used the bathroom first to give Malia some privacy. When he re-emerged, she was stripped down to a short white bathrobe that did nothing to hide that body of hers, giving him a little peek of her voluptuous behind as she picked up her toilet bag.
Fuck.
"Babe, do you got a spare shirt I can sleep in?" She stood back upright, her throat drying up at the sight of his towel hanging low on his hips. She watched the rivulets of water drip down his tattooed chest and felt parched.
Josh swallowed. "Sure, I got somethin'." He crossed the room, reached inside his open luggage and pulled out a 'YEET' hoodie. "This okay?"
He gazed into her eyes, and Malia felt her knees quiver, almost like they were threatening to collapse beneath her. "Yeah, thanks," she smiled, taking the hoodie.
"You called me babe again." There was a small, teasing smile on his face.
Malia felt her face burn. "Oh, um...Yeah. Habit. Sorry..." Lost for words, she quickly departed, silently willing her limbs to not give out on her.
Waiting until the door had closed behind her, Josh sank down on the bed and tried to focus on the TV. He could hear her moving around. Brushing her teeth. Undressing. Rubbing his face, he groaned when he heard the shower start. After their argument in the car and what he did afterwards, his emotions were all over the place, and now they had to share this bed. Keeping his hands to himself was going to be a tough ask.
Keep your hands to yourself, Malia repeated to herself over and over as she finished up her skincare routine. It's just one night. Behave yourself. What happened in the car meant nothing.
Yes it did, the voice she fondly named 'Delulu', debated, He misses you, he said so himself. That's why he acted the way he did in the car. That's why he almost bit that cashier's head off in Chipotle.
She had a point. She recalled the full-blown lust in his eyes as he touched her, the eager movement of his fingers inside her as though he couldn't stop himself. Overall, it felt good to know he wasn't quite over her just as she wasn't quite over him.
Don't do it, her other voice, dubbed 'You Right' because it always was, warned. You're just his plaything, always have been. Why do you want to play house with a guy who doesn't love you like you love him? He just misses the pussy. That's it.
Good point.
But I miss the dick too! 'Delulu' pouted.
'You Right' rolled her eyes. Too bad. Take another shower, a cold one this time.
With a heavy sigh, Malia wrapped up her hair and put on her pajamas for the night. The hoodie was big on her, reaching her thighs. She decided against panties, having made up her mind about the voice she was going to listen to.
She returned to the warmth of the bedroom, instantly landing on the ruggedly handsome man stretched out on the left side of the bed. His favorite side. His gaze flickered from the TV to her, his lips twitching into a small smile.
"You make my merch look so sexy, baby," he commented.
"Why thank you Daddy," she replied, then froze, her eyes wide. Shit, did she just say that out loud? Judging from the heated look in his eyes, the answer was yes. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife as they regarded each other.
Sitting up straight in the bed, Josh clapped his hands. "A'ight, enough of this. Come here," he growled.
She thought he would never ask. She hurried to the bed and crawled towards him. He sat up straighter and reached for her, their lips crashing together before he had finished pulling her onto his lap. All the weeks of pent-up urges and desires came pouring out of them both as they kissed like the desperate, needy souls they had become. They only pulled back long enough to take off his t-shirt before they embraced again. His bronzed skin was warm underneath her palms, the touch of his hands seemingly burning through the hoodie onto her own.
Without breaking the kiss, Josh shifted so that they were lying on their sides, helping her tug his sweatpants down his hips. Once they were gone, he pulled her tightly against him as he slid his leg between hers, draping her top leg over his waist. He then pushed his hands under her hoodie, his fingers digging into her waist to grind her against his thigh. Malia smiled at his surprised gasp, his realization that she was wearing his merch and only that. She knew he could feel the moistness of her core, smearing his upper thigh as their kisses got even more heated. She let him pull off the hoodie, and Josh's eyes blazed with need as he gathered her right breast in his hand and devoured it with sucks and licks. Meanwhile her hand wrapped around his dick, stroking for a few moments before easing him inside her.
"Oh, shit," Josh froze, his expression slightly panicked, "I ain't got-"
"Calm down, I still got my IUD. You good." She kissed his lips and reared back a little, letting him push fully inside her, and he ripped his mouth from hers in a low groan and tucked his face in her neck.
"Fuck, Malia..."
She moaned with him, gripping his muscular shoulders as he moved inside her, and groaned again when his hand scraped down her back to squeeze her ass cheek tightly.
"Mmmph..."
"Yeah, I know you like that," he whispered, slapping her ass this time, his breath hot and heavy against her face. "Say my name baby, call out for me."
"Joshua...Daddy..."
"Mm-hmm, I love it. God, you're fuckin' beautiful," he said, his voice rough with need as he tongue-kissed her slowly, matching his grinding thrusts, sending chills running all over her body.
"Ohhh," she gasped, tensing in his arms, bewildered by her desire for him.
"Relax. I gotchu," he promised with another hungry, borderline sloppy kiss. He was nearing the pit of her stomach with his lengthening strokes, but he wanted more. He held up her thick thigh, automatically sliding him even deeper inside her. A big smile lit up his face as her mouth fell open; he knew she could feel all of it, the head of his dick toying with her g-spot, her breathing quickening as her slick moisture made its presence known with every push of his dick into her.
"Hear that?" Josh whispered, "Hear how wet you are?"
Malia dug her nails into his skin, staccato breaths pulling from her lungs as he rammed up into her again and again. "Shit," she whined, "Aw fuck, please don't stop," she begged, tears gathering in her eyes at the thought of him ceasing his actions.
"I ain't stoppin' baby." He couldn't seem to stop kissing her, doing it again as he increased his speed, his dick all up in her wet pussy. The sensations were dizzying, taking her to another dimension. "Uuuunh," she cried out with a shudder, the flutter of her pussy around his cock sending shockwaves of pleasure through her.
"You wanna come, babe? Wanna come for Daddy huh?" He pressed his forehead against hers, his hypnotic eyes holding her gaze as her whimpers for him grew louder. "Come, Malia," he urged with gritted teeth, his heart pounding from the emotions vibrating through him. "Come, baby girl. Nut on Daddy's dick. You look so beautiful when you come."
Malia heard what sounded like waves crashing in her ears. Immediately her body seized up, and her voice was a high-pitched cry as the pleasure ripped through her. Moaning his name repeatedly, her head fell back and she saw stars as the bliss took over.
Man, she missed being touched like this, kissed like this...fucked like this.
Still trembling, she was vaguely aware of him pulling out, letting her leg down and rolling on top of her. Stroking her face, he stared at her with a mix of wonder and tenderness and something else she couldn't quite determine in his eyes.
"What?" she pressed.
Josh licked his lips, looked away for a second and then back at her.
"I love you."
She expected to be shocked, stunned by his declaration. Instead, it felt more like a eureka moment, like she had finally cracked a passcode she had been struggling with for eons, like the world had at last righted itself after an eternity of confusion.
"What took you so long?" she asked, emotion seeping through her tone.
"I don't know," he confessed, and when her brows furrowed, he elaborated. "I just know I can't do this no more. I'm fuckin' tired. I been feelin' this way for too long. You the only one that makes me feel like this."
"Like how?" she breathed. She wanted to hear it, wanted to know if his agony has been anything similar to hers for the past couple of months.
"Like I'm empty inside when I'm not with you. Even when I'm with someone else, I feel like I'm cheating on you," he went on, suddenly feeling free, unburdened. "I can't stop thinking about you, can't function...I don't just want sex, Malia. That's all good but I wanna be your man. For real this time. I want you."
There it was again, that intensity in his eyes that never failed to steal what was left of her breath. If this was a dream, she did not want to wake up. "I love you too. I wanna be with you. Let's not break up ever again. I don't like not being around you," she admitted.
"Same here," he said, covering her mouth with his. This kiss was so passionate, so deep and all-consuming, that she struggled to hang on to her sanity. She groaned against his mouth as he found his way back inside her with a couple of swift, seamless strokes. Her wetness instantly enveloped him again, prompting his hips to roll seemingly on their own accord. Malia wound her arms around him, holding him as close to her as possible. There was no more talk after that, letting their bodies do the talking, writhing together as if they were meant to exist that way.
"Wrap your legs around me, baby," he told her.
Immediately, she wound them around his waist with her ankles locked tight behind his lower back as he rocked into her. She moved with him, matching his tempo in a sweet symphony. There was no space between their flesh; and whatever tiny space remained was closed off with delicious, decadent kisses with lots of tongue. They savored every second in each other, every gasp and moan they elicited from the other. Her wetness compromised the friction between them as his dick slipped in and out of her with ease that still kept her walls snug and taut around him.
"God, you feel so good, baby," she moaned in his ear, weaving her fingers through his soft hair, anchoring him to her as though fearful that he would slip away at any given moment.
"I can feel you dripping all over my dick. You make me wanna pound this good pussy," he mumbled against her neck, his tongue swiping over her heated skin.
"Then pound it," she murmured, spearing him with a hot, hungry look when their eyes met. "Pound my pussy, Daddy, I need it," she practically begged, her voice a pleading whine.
"Bet." Caressing her thighs for a few seconds, he then propped her legs on each of his broad shoulders. Her gaze met the ceiling, clouded over with lust as he hunched over her, working his big dick in her. All she could see within the bluish hue of the small room was his larger, muscular body looming over her, like a glowing, almost nightclub-like dreamscape. His chest tattoos were a beautiful mural that she couldn't stop herself from worshiping, and she leaned up to drag her tongue along his nipple, flicking the hard bud playfully as she caressed his triceps. She was rewarded with harder snaps of his hips, his balls mashing against her ass from how deep he was digging. Every time she tried to look at it, she would grow weak from the sensitivity and fall back against the bed.
"Fuck, Joshua..."
"Mmhmm, I know it feel good. Your tight little pussy is creaming for me," he rasped. Holding her down to the bed, he circled his hips while buried in her for good measure, making her pussy greedily grip the entirety of his girthy length and wringing moans of pleasure from both of them. Dipping her hand down between her thighs, she rubbed on her clit only for her eyes to roll back as an intense fire lit inside her like a firework. Then, clearly intending to destory her, he sat back on his knees and wrapped his arms around her thighs, holding them to his chest as he thrust faster and harder.
"Oh my god," Malia sighed, planting one hand up against the headboard to steady herself. She could feel her breasts bouncing recklessly with each stroke, felt his long fingers grab one and massage it in his hands, then the other, arousing her even more. His dick pulsed inside her as she tightened around him with increasing frequency. She willingly let him take her as he wanted, because she wanted to feel all of him, savor the sight of him breaking down and plunging headfirst into that secret place of pleasure that belonged to them and them alone.
The tricky part was Josh wanted to take her there first. He switched up again by pinning her knees into the pillow on either side of her head, opening her wide. He fucked her like a man possessed, the force of his movements knocking the bed hard and repeatedly against the wall. His hard, pounding thrusts had her pushing her face into the pillow and screaming into it. They hoped the room was soundproof. Either way, he didn't stop, not until the coil inside her body unraveled, and Malia screamed again as she came, hard and hot, her orgasm flushing through her like a tidal wave. It was the sweetest, the realest, the product of the joining of not just their bodies, but something deeper, too.
Josh must have been thinking the same thing, because when he stopped to stare her down again with those beautiful eyes of his, they glittered with warmth and affection. They gazed at each other, the stunned joy of their shared feelings morphing into something richer, something fiercer. He really did love her, she could see it right there on his face. She didn't quite know how she managed to miss it before.
The air between them thickened as they remembered they were still naked and entwined. Reverting back to their primal, passionate state, Josh moved again, thrusting all up in her dripping tightness. Malia gripped his hips to pull him deeper, her fingers digging into the flesh of his ass as he pounded into her with newfound ruthlessness. The mattress squeaked underneath them, mixing with their moans and whimpers and the wet slapping sounds of their bodies. He was close; his strokes became increasingly erratic, his grunts heavier and more vocal, his cock pulsing inside her pussy and his balls tightening.
"Fuuuck, I'm comin' baby, come catch this nut," he pulled out of her and quickly straddled her torso, stroking his dick in her face. Malia opened her mouth wide and poked out her tongue, watching his gorgeous face twist in painful pleasure as he unloaded in her mouth, thick spurts of his salty sweet cum flooding her tongue. Completely turned on, she rubbed herself with one hand and grabbed his dick with the other, stroking him harder to milk him to the last drop. His deep, throaty groan broke her all over again, plummeting her into another incredible orgasm, brought on by the sheer power of his.
Josh's chest heaved as he watched her slap his dick on her open tongue, coated white with his release. He then ordered in a husky voice, "Swallow it."
Malia obeyed heartily, slipping his cum down her throat then gently sucked him off for a couple of seconds, moaning softly from the unique taste of him mixed with her. Josh fought off the urge to nudge his dick deeper into her mouth and pulled away to lie down next to her. The realization of what had just happened must have hit both of them at the same time, because with one glance at each other, they burst out laughing.
"Damn," was all she had the energy to utter, allowing him to pull her against him as their joint laughter rumbled between them. He fucked the shit out of her. She felt like a brand new woman, even now, as he ran his hands all over her body, gifting her with a breathless kiss to her succulent lips. "I guess Lina's plan worked," she giggled, snuggling against him.
"Yeah," Josh agreed, his features suddenly serious as he carefully tucked a loose piece of her hair back underneath her scarf. "I ain't like how you be pushin' me away, Malia," he grumbled, "Don't be scared of us and what we got."
Not for the first time, she wished she'd been brave enough to express her true feelings. "It's not you I'm scared of... I'm scared of us falling apart if we become serious, and I don't wanna live without you," she confessed.
Josh chuckled and pressed his mouth to each of her palms. "You already can't," he smirked.
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly and smacked his arm. "You don't gotta agree."
"It's the truth though. But like I said, I love you and I'm not going anywhere. I mean that," he promised.
Hearing those three words from him again made her feel all giddy inside. "I love you, too," she whispered, smiling softly against his lips when he dropped a tender kiss to hers.
"How long's it been since we last fucked?" he inquired.
Two months and three weeks, but who was counting? "Couple of months," she answered, keeping it cool.
"Shame on us. I think we can make up for it, right?"
Malia raised an eyebrow when he started to crawl down her body, sprinkling butterfly kisses down her belly until his head was between her legs. Her body flushed with need. "You know we need to go to bed, right?" she questioned, her fingers sneaking into his hair despite her half-hearted protest.
"I know. But this pretty pussy is callin' my name." He winked at her and bit gently on her inner thigh, dangerously close to her throbbing treasure, soothing the skin with a wet lick. Her keening moan was all he needed to hear. "Now lay your sexy ass back and let Daddy eat."
And with that, he bent his head and spread his mouth over her, wiping every rational thought she owned with mind blowing pleasure.
THE END
-----------------
So...did you like it?
Please leave feedback/comments. I appreciate them as they help me improve my writing.
Thank you all so much for reading!
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fruitmins · 8 months
Text
Agust Dad—Three
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➭ summary: Your a producer from another company that he happened to be collaborating with on his 2nd album D-2. At the release party— one drunk action leads to another, you do the worst thing you can do in the industry and change your fate forever.
➭genre: short series, pregnancy au, idol au, angst, dad au
➭warnings: none I think, just pure angst, Yoongi’s kinda stalkerish but that’s okay
<next part>
note: I don’t wanna drag this out but I don’t wanna make the chapters to long😭 anyways my life has been crazy lately and this story gives me life so THANK YOU SM for all of the support I love you ALL. Updated the tag list for whoever asked to be on it🫶🏽
Taglist: @welcometomyworld13 @tatyhend @jiminiesunicorn @littlestarstinyseven @baechugff @thelilbutifulthings @tearykth @familiarlikemymirror3 @coree730 @prajusstuff @wobblewobble822 @choisoorin @manuosorioh @0funsite0 @whipwhoops @bergandysam @aloverga @illnevertrustmyselfagain @silentreadersthings
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You thought blocking him would fix the problem. Even though you both worked in the same building, you thought blocking him would make everything go away. You thought he would get a hint and let your breathe.
You actually woke up the next morning with a sense of relief – you’re done with Yoongi. He’s finally out of your life and won't be causing more drama and heartbreak.
Or so you thought.
A loud knock on your front door brings you back to harsh reality very quickly. You weren’t expecting anyone, and it's way too early in the day to be a package or delivery. No one made any prior plans to visit you.
In fact, you hadn’t really talked to anyone since the incident besides a couple family members. But they were way to far from Seoul to suddenly drive to your house.
You stumble to your front door, rubbing your eyes as you try to adjust to the light. You have your hand on the doorknob, prepared to open it as you take a small glance through the peephole.
Oh, it’s Yoongi.
It registers in your head and you quickly do a double take, leaning down more to get a better view.
Oh, it’s YOONGI.
He’s head is down as he looks at his phone, so you can’t get the clearest look at his features but you recognize the luxurious long black hair. You recognize the nice black blazer that he always seems to have on. You recognize his freakishly pale skin and his long fingers and veiny hands.
Min Yoongi is at your doorstep at six o clock in the morning.
You quickly swing your door open, causing his head to snap up from his phone as you stare at him with wide eyes.
“What are you doing here?”
You get deja vu as you whisper yell at him, afraid you’d alert the neighbors or some crazy fan would realize that Min Yoongi is on your doorstep.
You should be asking how he got your address and number, but your mind is too much of a mess to ask the right questions.
“Why can’t I come check up on you?” Yoongi frowns, irritated by your cold welcome and you stare at him like he is an alien.
Before you can answer his insane question, he speaks up again. “Wow this house is treacherous.” He mumbles as he glancing around your porch.
You shake your head, dismissing the sudden rude remark on your house. “Yoongi are you insane? You can’t come here like this.” You say in a quiet voice again, glancing around your neighborhood but nothing has changed.
“You blocked me.” Yoongi states, his tone making it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world but his expression was still blank.
“Well I did it because I didn’t want to talk to you.” You state harshly, making it clear how crazy he looked by somehow finding your address and showing up anyways.
He just stands there, remaining unfazed by your outbursts, his gaze never wavering. Instead of saying something back, he simply pushes a piece of paper you hadn’t notice he had, towards you.
You give him a confused look as you take the paper before glancing down to look at it. Upon closer inspection your eyes catch certain words.
Your eyes widen as you realize what the piece of paper was.
You don’t know what you’re going to say, but as you glance back up at him you attempt to move your mouth anyways. He speaks again before you can say even anything. “Take the paternity test.”
You remain silent as you stare down at the paternity test in your hands, the silence between you growing more and more intense. "If the baby isn’t mine, you can block me and I’ll leave you alone. But if it’s mine, I want to be involved..”
For the first time every, you see a hint of emotion in his eyes. His blank expression softens, revealing a hint of who he might really be. “I want to be there.”
You don't say anything, but inside your heart's beating a mile a minute and your thoughts are spinning around your mind as you try to process everything. This moment feels far too surreal, like something out of a drama that only exists in fiction.
Of course you couldn’t believe his words. After everything you spilled to him yesterday, you couldn’t just hop back into his arms. You couldn’t just trust him again. You want to tell him off for showing up at your door like this in the first place.
But still, a faint flicker of hope springs inside you. A tiny voice whispers things in your ear that maybe things will be different. Maybe you won’t be alone. Just maybe you could trust him.
"Fine, I'll take the test." As soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel a pang of regret. You can’t deny him the right to know if it’s his, even if you knew that it was already biologically. He was the only man you’d slept with for almost a year.
Without giving him much time to process your words, you close the door breathing heavily as you tired to calm your thoughts. You try to focus on other things for the time being, but despite your efforts to think positively and be strong, a nagging feeling of dread never leaves you. You feel a heavy weight sink in your stomach as you worry about the future and your baby.
You retreat to your room, shutting the door behind you. You take the paternity test out, and after a moment of hesitation, you start taking it. You take a sample of your spit and see that Yoongi has already done the same.
You try to keep your mind blank while you do it, but as soon as you start collecting the sample, your brain is flooded with thoughts of Yoongi and your time together. The night, the sex, everything.
You can’t help but wonder how the you and Yoongi would look together, holding a little baby in your arms with him next to you. You can’t help but think about things as if it was another universe were you met on simpler terms.
Your thoughts quickly spiral into a fantasy, and by the time you finish taking the test, your cheeks are red.
You know it’s stupid but you can’t help but think about what’s going to come after the test gets back to you. It’s going to be proof that the baby is his and he claims to want to be involved.
That he wants to be there.
That he’s here now.
Your mind wanders back to the conversation you had in your office. How you told him over and over that he had abandoned you. And in response, here he was saying that he was here for you.
You don’t know how long you can believe him and you don’t know if the desire to care for the baby will go away.
But one things for certain is that the test will come back positive.
And you’ll no longer escape the reality of what awaits you.
Before you know it, Yoongi shows up to your house a couple days later but this time you actually invited him.
You know that you couldn’t tell him at the company cause you could be caught and it’s not something you should tell him through text, so you invited him to your house.
The doorbell rings and your eyes go to the clock above the door.
It's early, but not that early. With your heart racing, you head to the door and slowly it open to reveal... Yoongi.
You remain frozen for a moment before speaking, your throat dry.
He looks as handsome as ever, though he seems more cautious and serious than usual. He knows why he is here, and you know why he is here.
So you push back any thoughts that aren’t necessary and any memories that don’t need to be brought back. "Hello," you say simply, not knowing what else to say.
"Hello," he greets you, eyes skimming over your stomach, which isn’t yet visible but will be soon.
“Come in..” you say in a quiet voice turning away from him and going to the couch in the living room. Your heart starts racing as you begin to feel anxious about the conversation that lies ahead.
Yoongi enters your house, but the air is tense. The silence hangs so thick that you could cut it with a knife.
Eventually, he speaks up, his tone stiff.
"Did you get the results back?" he asks, his deep voice cuts through the silence.
Immediately your heartbeat goes up a notch, and you silently nod in response. “I did..” you mumble, swallowing hard as you pick up the paper off the table and slowly hand it to him, your heart thumping as you watch him closely.
A moment passes as he scans the paper in silence, taking his time and processing the implications.
Finally, he hands the paper back to you, his expression unreadable and the tension in the room as thick as ever.
There, it's all out in the open now, and there's no going back. You’ve officially connected yourself to Min Yoongi.
"So... it's true then."
Yoongi's words hang in the air, heavy.
You nod, your throat squeezed shut with anxiety and worry. Yoongi's gaze wanders across your face, his expression unreadable. His mind must be racing with thoughts of what to do next.
The silence stretches on forever before he finally speaks again. “We need to talk about this," he says calmly, and his tone is decisive.
You take a deep breath before speaking. “Well, I already told you I plan on raising it alone.” You state in a low voice, not making eye contact with him.
Yoongi exhales a shaky frustrated breath, his emotions taking the wheel once more. He takes a moment to collect himself before finding the right words. "And you think I'm just supposed to sit by and let that happen?" He challenges.
You blink, and for a moment, you can tell how serious he's being and you know you’re being stubborn but you can’t help but think of all the package Yoongi came with. His career, his fans, his schedule.
“It’ll just be easier for you and for me if you weren’t involved.” You state, with a heavy sigh. Yoongi's expression doesn't change, but his body language shifts. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, the tension in his stance palpable.
"Easier for you, maybe. But don’t you think the baby has a right to know who its father is?” He asks and the question catches you by the throat and makes it dry.
Your stomach is filled with guilt, because you know he has a point. You go quiet at the moment, suddenly feeling guilty Yoongi had a right to be involved and the baby had the right to have a father.
And if Yoongi has asked this question, then maybe he was being serious. Maybe he actually cared about the child.
“So, how much do you want to be involved in?” You ask, glancing up at him to see that his eyes narrow momentarily before he responds, but his tone gradually softens as he sees the guilt in your eyes.
"I want to know the baby," he says, the softness in his tone taking you by surprise. "I want to be there for everything, from the first doctor's visits to the first words. I want to be part of its life."
You notice that whenever he says "the baby", his eyes flick towards your stomach as he speaks, even though there’s not visual of the baby even being there.
“What about your career? What about the media?” You question, slightly worried how his fans will react, how his company will react. It wasn’t everyday an idol got some random woman knocked up.
Yoongi relaxes a little after you concede the point, no longer challenging you. "Don't worry about that," Yoongi says quickly, his voice full of determination.
"The media's always going to make a big fuss, but I'll handle it. I'll handle everything. You shouldn’t stress about anything, especially if it’s not your problem to worry about."
His words make your heart flutter, but you're not sure if it's happiness or anxiety. It was like when he looked at the paper, his whole demeanor changed. His whole mindset changed, and you don’t know if you should be excited or worried.
"Listen," he says softly, "I never dreamed that something like this would happen, but now that it has, I want to make sure this baby has the best life possible. I’m not going to take the easy way out, that’s not what a real man does.” He states and despite his tough exterior, Yoongi is determined to be a present father for your child-to-be.
It’s silent again, millions of thoughts and emotions racing through your mind. “Well, I have a seven week appointment, if you want to come..” You mumble in a quiet voice.
“I’ll be there.”
He says, way to quickly.
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madebyrolo · 1 month
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Holding me and holding back
⚘.
Pt.1 Rafe Cameron x pouge reader
Read pt.2 here!
she/her
Summary: summer fling with Rafe. Your typical kook vs pouge war but what if instead of gold it was love?
Obx masterlist
─── ʚɞ ⋅ ᯓᡣ𐭩 ⋅ ୨୧ ───
Walking through town with jj and Kiara. She's shopping while you and jj tag along, she has midsummer coming up, and even though she thinks it's just fascist bullshit she can't help but love dress shopping, she's just a girl.
You guys are in the 3rd store this afternoon, dress after dress Kiara still can't find the perfect one.
“How about this one?” jj said picking out a random dress from the rack.
“Jj you and I both know that's ugly.” Kiara said with a disappointed look.
“Ugh! I can't seem to find one decent enough dress. I'm gonna lose it.” Kiara said as she swiped through hanger after hanger.
“Why do you need a new dress you have plenty,” you asked walking around looking for a dress
“Because my mom said so, I can't keep wearing the same ones over and over ‘it looks wrong’ and I quote.” Kiara answers.
“And by that she means it looks poor.” you finish for her grabbing a dress from the rack and inspecting it before adding it to your pile.
“I don't blame you but we've been through so many stores and you still can't seem to find one dress.” you throw your head back still looking for a dress.
“Kie why do you even care about this dress, you'll wear it for like not even a few hours anyways.” jj said giving up and sitting on the couch taking his cap off.
“If I have to wear it, it's gonna be perfect.” Kiara said smacking her lips.
“Prech it girl.” you said from across the room.
Finally after 11 racks and 2 stacks of dresses, kie is finally in the dressing room.
“Heres this one, it's only better than the rest.” she said coming out from the curtains with a blue sequin dress.
“I mean it's cute-”
“For prom” jayj finishes your sentence.
“Yeah it seems much for midsummers” you say tilting your head.
“Ugh that's what I thought but I wasn't sure, the rest are as bad!” Kie groans looking at herself in the mirror.
“There's like 2 satin dresses I picked out, try one of those. Girls usually wear simple dresses.” you say laying back on the couch.
“Theres a light blue and purple, which one are we thinking?” she yells out.
“Lights blue” jj said with his face covered by hat.
“Mmm purple if you wear blue you're practiially matching with Rafe” you say looking at the celling unbothered
Until you hear the words Rafe come out your mouth.
“What do you mean matching with him? How do you know what he's going to wear?” Kiara asked popping her head out the curtain confused.
“And you've never been to midsummer too how do you know what they wear?” jj suspiciously asked.
Your eyes widen before you look at your friend on the couch trying not to become flustered before opening your mouth to lie the best you ever could.
“Uh cause kies mom always post a family pic on Facebook and I stalk for fun when Im bored. I see some girls in the background..” you come up with, its true the stalking part so did you technically lie?
“Oh yeah you do I remember when you accidently liked John bs old post” jj laughed at himself.
“You were so petrified even though you were literally sitting in the chateau with him across the room.” jj pushes you in the side.
“Even though he's our friend it's embarrassing when someone finds out you stalk them!” you defending yourself.
“What did you mean by the Rafe thing tho” jayj asked.
“Its blue, Rafe 100% is gonna wear it cause ‘it matches his eyes’ " you said the last part dramatic
“Yeah he is a self observed prick” kie said shutting the curtain continuing to try on dresses.
You sit back in relief, letting out a deep breath after almost getting caught by your friends.
The only reason you knew what he was wearing is because you were there. You helped him pick it out and when he was having it tailored in the living room of tannyhill.
*ੈ𑁍༘⋆
—flashback—
You and Rafe were riding on a ferry on the way to the mainland. You were wearing a sundress with him in a matching polo shirt and khakis, both in ray bans he'd bought you.
He said his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he talked to you about the times he's snuck out and come to the mainland with him and his boys, with fake IDs and college parties they wessled their way in.
“Yeah and then Kelce was hooking up with a girl and then the cops came and we had to run! He got so pissed and yelled out cock blocking pigs!” he said chucking too himself.
You giggling finding the story funny but couldn't help but feel bad as you felt the buzzing of your phone that were obviously texts from your friends you canceled on.
“Whos texing you?” Rafe asked
“Just my friends” you say adjusting in the seat and grabbing your phone from your purse. Seeing notifications of the group chat of the pouches.
──────────────────────
⌞ Pope hitting the Dougie. ⌝
────────────────────────────────────
What does the j stand for: Y/n don't you think we should at least have some kid balloons? Like dinosaurs or shit like that??
Kiki do you love me : its a highschool party.
What does the j stand for: and my birthday.
Hope 🥺: I don't see the problem with silly balloons 😲
Johnathan : I would go for the balloons but its a no for me cause the one jj wants is practically half a case of a beer 🤑
What does the j stand for: just say you don’t love me 🥲
You: I’m on the mainland I’ll buy some for your here. Their cheaper here anyways.
What does the j stand for: AYEE 😘
You: Hate you jay ☺️
What does the j stand for: y/n to save the day once again.
Kiki do you love me: favoritism 🙄
Hope 🥺: he’s just the birthday boy
Johnathan: he's just a girl.
💬
──────────────────────
“Youre gone for a day and their loosing their minds” He says with a smirk hugging you tighter
“Yeah they were planning Jj's birthday party today too. I told them to let me know if there's anything I can do while I'm gone but they said not to worry about it but as you can tell I think they're worrying.” you chuckled to yourself playing with your fingers.
“Jayjs party?” he scoffed “and I didn't get an invite?”
“Its at John bs place and besides even if you did get an invite you wouldn't even go. Thought you couldn't stand pouges” you looked at him
“And yet here we are..” he said before going in for a slow and passionate kiss.
The kiss was sweet. It tasted like mint gum and candy that you both shared. You couldn't lie to yourself, you loved these sweet moments with Rafe but you had to keep reminding you self that none of this was real. None of it was real.
Well it couldn't be anyways.
—end of flashback—
After kie finally picked the dress which was the purple satin one, you guys finally hit up a restaurant for lunch.
You guys sat in a booth and were handed menus by the waiter.
“Should we just get a pizza and split?” you offered
“Sure but we gotta get fries too” jj said looking through the menu.
After a couple of minutes getting your drinks and waiting for the food you guys were talking and jj hogging the fires.
Jj was smiling until the bell jingled and someone came in. He looked up and pure hatred took over his face.
“And look what the draft brought in.” he said throwing his fry in the basket.
You all looked up to see the one and only Rafe walk in. Wearing the Ray bans and his stupid (yet cute) button-up. He looked around and spotted jj, squinting his eyes and then placing a fake smile before coming up.
You groaned and slid down into your seat knowing what was about to come up.
“Ugh what does he want.” kie said giving dirty looks.
“Well well well, didn't know they served anchovie pizza here?” he said with his famous smirk, gabbing a chair and pulling it up.
“What do you want Rafe.” kie spat out
“Well I came for pizza cause its a pizza place..” he said smiling “didn't know pouges would be on my side of the island.” he said with any sign of fake happiness gone.
Him and Kie locked eyes practically having a staring contest.
You spoke up to hopefully ease the tension.
“Rafe I think your pizza is ready.” you said moving your eyes to the pizza sitting on the counter.
His eyes moved to you completely softening, but still had the hate look on his face. Complete whiplash it gave you.
“Didnt see you there princess.” he said looking you up and down.
“Okay you can go now.” jj shewed Rafe away.
“Don't want your pizza getting cold.” kie said.
You rolled your eyes, the typical kook vs pouge shit Rafe pulls. Rafe eyes linger on jj, then kie giving them looks that could kill. Soon he gets uo pushing the chair back, he goes up pays for the pizza. As he waits for the cashier to arrive he turns back around staring at your table.
“God he's so insufferable.” Kie says as the pizza arrives and you all start to dig in.
“Oh you got some sauce on your face princess” jayj says as he wipe the sauce off with his thumb.
Rafe watches jj as he licks his thumb and gets the smallest bit of sauce on your face
Didn't even need a napkin, could've just swiped it off yourself Rafe thinks to himself.
Soon the cashier arrives and handles the transaction. Finishing up Rafe huff out the store with the pizza. he gets to his car slamming the door and handing the pizza to Sarah who was in the passenger seat.
“Jeez what's your problem” she looks at her brother with a judgmental look.
“Those damn pouges.” Rafe talked through trough his teeth staring the truck.
“Let me guess, jj was sitting inside enojing a slice of pizza and minding his own business.” Sarah said smacking her lips.
“And Kiara.” he said looking at staah knowing the name would cause some spark.
“God that bitch.” Now the girl matching his energy.
“Hmm her cars right there…” Rafe said pointing to her blue nissan.
“Toolbox is in the back,” Sarah mentioned slyly.
Back in the restaurant the group of kids were eating and laughing when y/n got a notification. She picked up her phone looking at the Lock Screen.
Apple Pay Rafe 🕶️ sent $150: Get an Uber.
Y/n sighed in her spot, obviously her mood being ruined when another notification came.
Apple Pay Rafe 🕶️ sent $100: More Napkins wouldn’t hurt.
Y/n shocked her head and put her phone back down shaking the thoughts away as she focused on jayj talking about night surfing later.
After an hour you guys finally finshed, you took the bill because with the $250 you now had should be going to the dinner Rafe ruined. Or was about too.
As you all walk out towards the parking lot, you see Kiara’s care with all 4 tires popped.
“That fucking asshole!” Kid said running up to her car looking at the damage he caused.
“Kooks always win.” jj said taking his hat and ruffling his hair
“What the fuck am I gonna tell my parents ?” Yk said bending down and checking her tires.
so that was the Uber was for.
30 minutes later a tow truck and Kiara’s parents are surround the mechanic dude talking about prices and damage as you guys sit on concrete side walk.
“Can’t believe Rafe would actually do this. What would even prevoke him to do damage this bad?” Kie said with her head in her hands feeling completely defeated.
“It’s Rafe, not like he needs any reason to terrorize us. We were just eating pizza man.” jj said laying against the brick wall of the restaurant.
“You guys wanna Uber out of here? I’ll pay.” You offered feeling bad. It felt like your fault.
“No I have to go home, my parents are absolutely are gonna flip out on me.” Kie said closing her eyes whining.
“Jay?” You asked
“Where do you have the money for an Uber?” Jj asked.
“Extra shifts I guess, do you want a ride or not?” You ask one last time.
“Yeah yeah I’ll go with you.” he agreed.
Soon enough you’re in the Uber, you and jj are in the back seat. He’s looking out the window as you text your parents jj was coming over. As you sent the text you grab your sunglasses in your bag and putting them on to block out the sun for a quick nap.
“So where are you getting all this extra cash?” Jj asked suspiciously.
“I work and save up jay. Saving up means I don’t spend my whole paycheck at the smoke shop.” You lied.
“Those are raybans. I thought you said you didn’t like wasting your money on materialistic stuff” he asked pointing to the glasses.
“They were on sale, and besides I can't own at least one nice thing jj?” you say avoiding eye contact.
“You picked up the whole check and now the uber-”
“Jj enough! I don't feel like being integrating by my own best friend. I work okay? I save up and am able to have these extra things.” you scoffed
“Okay okay chill out..” jayj let go of the topic.
Soon the 20-minute ride to the opposite side of the island's finally came to an end. You and jj got out with him follow you into your house and straight to your room.
“Are you staying the night?” you asked putting your purse and shoes to the side.
“Mhm probably not, I gotta work at the dock early in the morning.” he said grabbing his secret stash of weed and joint paper behide the picture of you and the pouges.
“Your welcome to join me?” he said opening your window and beging to roll a joint.
“No thanks jay” you say crashing down on your bed and opening up insta.
As you scroll through stories you end up on Rafes with him at the country club playing golf with his friends in the morning, then a few drinks, then him and Sarah with a screw driver with fake smiles caption with “🐟🛞”
Confirmed.
As soon as you get off a insta you get a text.
──────────────────────
Rafe 🕶️
──────────────────────
Rafe 🕶️: just saw you viewed my stories
You: stalker
Rafe 🕶️: Whatever, come over tonight and bring extra clothes
You: sleepover?
Rafe 🕶️: yes ☠️☠️☠️
You: mhm alr
You: see you later ❤︎
*Rafe 🕶️ hearted a message*
──────────────────────
You close your phone and turn over to jayj who’s in his own little world.
You began thinking to yourself, are you really gonna let Rafe get away with basically destroying Kiara’s car? And now he’s acting like nothing happened?
These are the moments where your morals stand in line. You know hooking up with Rafe, who all the pouges hate and you can’t blame them.
The sneaking around is fun and the sex is amazing.
It’s completely wrong.
Your typical forbidden love, Romeo and Juliet type shit.
But is it even love?
It’s a simple summer fling, but you know it’s more than that.
─── ʚɞ ⋅ ᯓᡣ𐭩 ⋅ ୨୧ ──
I got pt.2 in my drafts all ready to go 😈
Sorry for any typos.
Yall ate up my first smut 😲
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thetriumphantpanda · 1 month
Text
Letting Off Steam
One Day I'll Fly Away - Chapter Two
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Chapter Summary | A call from home makes you wish that all of this would go away, but until it does, you make it your mission to annoy Joel Miller as much as you can.
Word Count | 3.5k
Pairing | Joel Miller x Princess F!Reader 
Chapter Warnings | Mentions of alcohol, the British Royal Family, extreme wealth, food and eating, as well as mentions of body image issues and implied infidelity. Joel is grumpy as always, Miss Scandal is pushing his buttons. The sheep gang up on Joel. Joel is a typical man and can't help but take one (1) look at the princess' backside. Reader has very little description apart from her clothing. No outbreak-AU, no use of Y/N.
Authors Note | Thank you for being so patient in waiting for this. I'm still SO excited by these two and their story and things will be hotting up soon, I promise! If you liked this then please consider commenting, reblogging and screaming along with me in my ask box!
Please note that I no longer use tag lists - please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs for writing updates.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Kofi | Series Playlist
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A bowl sits on the edge of the desk, full of peaches, sitting in the sliver of sunlight that filters through the window, warming the fuzzy skin. You reach down, pluck the fruit from the top of the bowl and rub your thumbs over the skin, warm and soft. Bringing it to your mouth, you drag your teeth through the softness of the flesh, savouring the sweetness as it floods your mouth, but even warmed in the sun like they are, this peach still doesn’t taste like the one you ate at the farm, plucked only moments ago from the tree, sun warmed and sweet.
You’ve barely finished the fruit when the phone at the side of the bed rings. It makes you close your eyes, pinch the bridge of your nose, and you think about ignoring it - there are very few people who know where you are, the Palace for one, on their insistence considering it was their security detail keeping an eye on you, your parents for another, but you doubt it’s them considering the shame you’ve apparently brought to their door. Tossing the stone in the bin, you walk the few steps to the phone and pick it up, but you don’t say anything, a trick you’d since learnt since the first headlines hit - remain silent, listen for a small click and wait to see who talks first.
“Texas looks like fun.”
There’s a wave of comfort that falls over your shoulders at the voice coming through the receiver. You check the watch on your wrist, calculating the time difference between Austin and London, shaking your head a little.
“Are you awake early, or up late?”
“You know me,” The voice chuckles a little, “Never one to turn down a party, and George was hosting at Claridge’s.”
“How many people took your photo?” You ask, sitting down on the bed.
“Oh honey, I’m going to splashed across every single newspaper come morning,” He laughs, “Throngs of them at the door and I’m sure someone has already sold the pictures of me drinking champagne from the bottle, stood on the table with some random woman holding onto my arm.”
You let your fingers tangle in the spiral cord, you know exactly what he’s doing, trying his best to make a scene wherever he goes in the hopes it drags the attention off you for just a moment. God, he’d always been the best friend you’d ever had. Sam. The only man who you think has ever cared for you.
“How is Texas?” You hear him ask, tone a little more clipped now.
“It’s…” You start with a sigh, “Fine.”
“I see they managed to catch you at dinner the other night,” You can hear some clattering in the background and the sound of liquid pouring, his nightcap no doubt, “Have they swarmed you?”
“I don’t think so,” You offer, “Not that I’ve noticed anyway, although now one paper knows I’m here it’s only a matter of time.”
“Any local talent?”
“Shut your mouth,” You laugh, “I’m here to escape the drama, not cause more of it.”
“So there is local talent!” He barks down the phone, “Go on, spill!”
Your mind flits to yesterday. To Joel Miller. The way he’d looked at you with contempt, clearly completely uncaring about etiquette, completely uncaring about you in general, and you understood. Small town, used to the small town dynamics day-in, day-out, about to be uprooted when the worlds media found out you were here. It only seemed to spur you on, much like everything in your life had. When your husband had turned his cheek to you and flashed his sparkly eyes at the girl sat to his left, that was a challenge you weren’t about you lose, and look where that got you. A scarlet letter, the words whore and slut banded around like they meant nothing. There was something in the way Joel Miller, with his rough and dirty hands, had looked at you like you were nothing but another customer that set you on fire in the worst way.
“It’s nothing,” You insist to Sam down the phone, “I think we exchanged less that four sentences with each other and I’m sure he already hates me for upsetting the small-town equilibrium.”
“It all starts somewhere.”
There’s a moment of silence, where the two of you just sit and listen to each other breathe. It’s a comfort, to know there’s at least one person on the other side of that ocean that still cares for you in some way, it’s just a shame he got caught up in the storm of shit along with you, but if it had to be someone, you’re glad it was him.
“I miss you.” You speak first.
“I miss you too, princess,” You can hear the smile in his voice, “It’ll all blow over eventually,” He soothes, “And then you can come back and George can host at The Savoy in celebration.”
You laugh at that, reminisce about all the parties you used to go to together, the harmless trouble you’d find yourself in more often than not, “Go to bed.” You insist.
“Yes, ma’am,” And you can perfectly picture the salute he’s just done on the other end of the phone, “Go and find your local talent.”
He’s hung up before you can argue with him, so you set the receiver back down on the handset, sit on the bed for a while, chin. resting on your palm, before you decide what to do. You lean your head out of the door and find Rob sitting in a chair at the end of the hall, when he notices you, he perks up a little.
“Can you drive me back to the farm from yesterday?”
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Joel doesn’t really know why he does it, sat over his morning coffee, black and bitter, but there’s an itch in his fingers, so he pulls out his phone, slips on his glasses and opens up the Google app. He can hear Ellie laughing at him as he types with one finger, slowly typing her name into the search bar. He gets halfway through her first name when a slew of suggested searches pop up - the first one is her name followed by the word scandal. The next replaces scandal with affair. The further down he looks, the more pathetic the searches get, replacing the last word he reads with things like weight, depression and even nudes.
He sighs, shakes his head and just finishes writing her name before he hits the enter button. At the top of the Google page of results there’s a few images - one of her at her wedding, linked arm in arm with her ex-husband, smiles on both their faces. There’s one of her shaking the hand of some foreign dignitary, smiling as she does, and then another, grainy, clearly taken at night, as she sits at a restaurant with a man that isn’t her husband.
Joel knows the story, it was splashed across enough of his morning papers for him not to miss it. An affair with another man, caught red-handed talking to him on the phone about things Joel would rather not remember reading. There’s a part of him that feels sorry for her, that someone had managed to tap her phone and listen to her for long enough to catch her in the act, but he thinks more that it serves her right for being unfaithful. There isn’t a smile dazzling enough or a tip big enough from her that would make him think otherwise.
As much as he hates to admit it, he spends far too much of his morning reading about you on his phone. There’s an article he finds that tracks your ‘rise and fall’ as the British tabloid put it. There are dates, followed by photos and a little blurb for each moment in your life - from meeting the Prince at university, the whirlwind romance, the engagement, the wedding, the gossip about when you would start popping out children, right down to the photo they took of you running onto the plane to escape - grey English skies, some man holding an umbrella over your head to keep you dry as you turned your face from the cameras. He thinks it a little tragic really.
When he finally drags his attention back to the watch on his wrist, he sighs. The sheep are going to have his guts for making them wait for their food, and he can’t pick the peaches off the tree fast enough to stop the vast majority on them falling off and rotting on the ground. He downs the last of his cold coffee now, puts the mug in the sink and turns to head to his truck when he hears the telltale sound of the gravel on his drive crunching under wheels.
Joel takes a few steps towards the window and sees the same car as yesterday. You can’t possibly have run out of peaches already and there's no way his fruit would have rotted either, so he can feel his eyebrows furrow at what on earth you could want now.
By the time he makes his way to the porch, you’re already out of the car, taking small steps back and forth as you’re waiting for him. That makes his blood boil, that even though he doesn’t know you and certainly aren’t obligated for him to drop everything for you, you still expect it, and it makes his blood boil even more that he sequesters to it, walks out onto the porch like an obedient dog.
“Can I help you, ma’am?”
You flash that smile from yesterday at him again, one he’s pretty sure has managed to get you exactly what you wanted every single day of your life. It’s not that different to the smile Sarah used to give - sometimes still does, even now she’s grown.
“Well, I was just wondering if you’d show me around?” You ask, “Visiting farms was never my role back home but I’m fascinated to see how things work.”
Joel takes a look at you, a long look up and down and he worries for a second that it looks like he’s checking you out, but he’s just fascinated by how your brain works, that you’ve turned up to his dusty ranch in the middle of Texas in long white slacks, sandals and a white vest - he lets a snort leaves his nose and he shakes his head slight, “Ain’t exactly dressed for ranching, Princess.”
He watches as you shrug, letting your fingers grip at the hem of your vest, holding it up slightly so he can see a slip of skin underneath, “This old thing?” You say, “I don’t mind if it gets dirty.”
“It ain’t your shirt I'm worried about,” He points to your shoes, “You’ll break your neck walking around in those.”
Joel watches intently as you look down at your feet - perfectly pedicured toes peeking out from the hem of your trousers, “You don’t have anything I can borrow?” You ask softly, then, “I’m going out of my mind cooped up in that hotel room.”
For a second, he considers saying no. He doesn’t want you here, not really, you’re just going to become an even bigger pain in the ass if he lets you hang around, and he has no interest in getting caught up in whatever it is you’ve got going on, but the softness in your voice makes him crumble a little. He knows that if he were resigned to four walls he’d be going crazy too.
So he rolls his eyes, and disappears into the house, roots around on the shoe rack until he finds Ellie’s beat up boots, it’s the best he’s got, knowing by the look of her that they’re probably going to be a little tight. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he runs upstairs and grabs a pair of his thinnest socks - he certainly doesn’t want to be responsible for giving the princess blisters.
“Put these on,” He’s gruff with it as he hands them over, “Probably a bit small bit it’s all I got.”
He watches intently as you slip your sandals off slowly and hand them over to the man who gets out of the car and follows you everywhere. You struggle to get the boots on but eventually they end up on your feet. He can’t help that his eyes wander to your backside when you stand up, Texas dust settled on the creased of your trousers.
“If you’re comin’ with me you gotta do exactly what I say, when I say it, understood?”
You bring two fingers up to your temple and salute him, “Yes, sir.”
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Joel's ranch is huge, is the first thing you realise. There’s an expansive orchard full of his famous peach trees that he drives you up to first. He’s silent, brooding in the drivers seat, scowl across his face. You can’t help but bring your hand up, settling your pointer finger into your mouth and biting down to stop your laughter from bubbling up and over.
He pulls the truck up at one edge of the orchard and steps out so you follow behind him. You meet him at the back of the truck as he reaches over and picks up a stack of wooden crates - the same ones you’ve taken back with you the last few times, overflowing with fruit. He hands the stack to you, which you take.
“You’re gonna earn your keep if you’re gonna annoy me.”
You chuckle, “Sure thing,” You say, following behind him as he walks towards the first tree, “I’m not work shy, you know.” You call after him, running slightly behind him to catch up.
“Course not,” He grumbles, “Years of shakin’ hands is great work experience for this.”
You roll your eyes, setting the stack of crates on the ground, deciding it’s probably best to let him say what he wants - it’s nothing you haven’t heard before anyway.
“This is easy,” He starts, gripping one of the lower branches of the tree, pulling it down so it’s in your eyeline, “Grip the fruit in your palm and twist it until it comes off.”
You do as he says, letting the bottom of the fruit sit in your palm, delicate fingers gripping at the sides, and you twist gently, feeling the branch tighten and the a snap when the fruit comes free in your palm.
“Just like that,” Joel muses, “Now just put it in the crate and move onto the next.”
You continue like that for a while, Joel pulling the branches down so you can pluck the fruit off and into the crate, until the first tree is bare as far as you can reach and you have a crate full of peaches.
“How do you get the fruit from the top?” You ask, raking a hand over your forehead to try and get rid of the sweat that’s gathering there.
He doesn’t reply, he merely steps closer to you, puts one of his palms against your stomach and pushes you gently back out of the way, then he turns around, puts both hands on the trunk of the tree and gives it a shake. You laugh as some of the fruit from the top tumbles down and hits the ground.
“If it ain’t falling then it ain’t ready.” Joel murmurs, starting to bend over to pick up the fruit from the ground to put it into another crate.
Joel leaves you to it from there, moving onto his own tree so you can divide and conquer, but somewhere around the third crate that you fill, your interest wanes. You can hear soft bleating coming from near the barn that you can see in the distance, so you walk that way, leaving Joel and the peaches behind for what sounds like something much more interesting.
When Joel stands up from his filled crate and looks around, you’re nowhere to be found. Panic sinks in. You’d insisted that whoever was looking after you didn’t have to come with, that Joel looked more than capable of looking after you for a few hours, and now he had no fucking clue where you were. That would make a mighty fine headline in any newspaper.
He rushes back to the truck, hand resting on his forehead to shade his eyes from the sun when he spots you - a white silhouette stood in a mass of his sheep. God fucking damn it, he thinks, abandoning the crates of fruit to get into his truck to drive over to you.
“What the hell’a you doin?” He calls out of the window when he pulls up near to you.
You turn around, one hand resting on the head of one of his sheep who seems to be enjoying the attention, “I just wanted to know what the noise was,” You shrug, “I’ve never touched a sheep before.”
“Will you-” He sighs, slinging open the truck door, “Get away from them, they’re dirty.”
You look down at the sheep that’s leant against your lower leg, tipping its head so you scratch it again, “Did you hear what he just said about you?” You ask the animal, who he swears looks right at him and bleats, “Exactly, he’s not very nice is he?”
He spots another sheep heading straight for you just a little too late to catch it before it’s reaching up with it’s teeth to take hold of the hem of your shirt. It tugs a little, not enough to do any damage, but enough to make you lose your balance a little. Joel steps forward, his muscle memory kicking in from all the times Sarah and Ellie had been in this exact predicament, his arm wrapping around your waist to keep you steady, whilst his other hand waves to make the sheep move away.
When he’s sure you’re not at risk of toppling into the dusty ground, he looks down at you, slightly tilted in the way he caught you so you’re looking up at him, wide-eyed, one of your arms fisting at the flannel to keep yourself steady. He coughs, clears his throat and lets you go like you’d just burned him.
“They’re unpredictable,” He chastises, “You’ll get hurt if you wander off like that.”
“Sorry.” Is all you say, but he feels like it’s genuine, “Why sheep?” You ask to his back as he walks away.
“They’re quiet, and they do what they’re told.”
There’s a brown stain on your pristine white shirt now, to match the dust that had settled across your backside from earlier, and he can’t help but smile to himself as he turns back towards the truck, pristine little princess getting herself all dirty on his ranch. He shakes his head, banishing any thought that isn’t his distaste for the way you’re going to continue uprooting everything with your presence, motioning his head for you to get into the other side.
The rest of the afternoon goes off without a hitch, you help him with the feeding and finish picking the rest of the peaches. He lets you eat one of the fruit on the way back to his house, listening as you slurp at the juices.
“Well, thank you for that,” You say as you get down from the truck, “It’s so interesting to see how things work.”
“You’re welcome,” He grumbles, not sure he can say the same, “Hey, wait!” He calls as you start walking away.
He picks up a crate of peaches from the truck, walks it over to you and plops it into your open arms, wordlessly walking back to pick up another.
“Is this my payment?” You ask, with a smirk on your face.
“No,” He says simply, “It’s you finishing a job, that first crate is for Nancy at the hotel, don’t steal any, you hear me?” You nod in understanding, “And this is for the grocery store in town.”
“So I’m a delivery girl now, am I?”
“Too right Princess,” He’s got a smile on his face now, but it’s not unkind, “You wanted to see how things work, you’ve gotta do it all.”
You roll your eyes and shake your head, but there’s a laugh at the end of it too as he walks you back to the car. Rob steps out, clearly questioning you with his expression.
“Looks like we’ve got a delivery to make, gentlemen.”
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ladykailitha · 1 year
Text
Can Anybody See Me?
I just finished this first part of my Eddie adopting Steve in his senior year after his fall from grace and wanted to put it up.
Tag list of 50 has now been filled. Any other requests for tagging will be denied. I’m sorry.
Edit: Also if you saw the title as something else? No, no you didn’t. And any reblogs you see with anyone instead of anybody are a figment of your imagination. (*thuds head on laptop* I have the title right on here...in my file *wails*)
*
“Mr Munson?” the teacher called.
Eddie’s head snapped to the front of the class from where it had been watching King Steve Harrington throwing up in the garbage can.
“When Mr Harrington is done spilling his guts, would you please take him to the nurse’s station?”
Eddie pointed at himself and mouthed the word “me?”
He looked around the classroom and was shocked to find that Steve’s friends were either trying not to look at him or were actually snickering.
The teacher sighed. “Yes. If you would please.”
“Yeah Munson,” someone called. “Freaks should stick together after all.”
Eddie made a note of who it was and vowed to never to sell to the asshole again. He stood up and walked to the back of the room. He knelt down next to Steve and put his hand on his back.
“Hey,” he murmured. “You okay?”
Steve looked up at him blearily. “Munson?”
Eddie looked up at the teacher. “Would it be okay if we take the bin with us? So we don’t disturb the rest of the class?”
The teacher nodded, looking relieved.
Eddie helped Steve to his feet and made sure the other boy had a good handle on the bin and gently walked him outside. The cool air of the hallway hit them like a truck. But Steve beside him sighed in relief.
Eddie finally got a good look at Steve’s face, blackened and bruised as it was. “Who did you in?”
Steve’s head lulled back like a rag doll. “Billy Hargrove.”
Eddie’s eyebrows went up and led Steve over to the wall next to the door. Steve slid to the floor, clutching the bin.
“Aren’t you two on the basketball team or whatever?” Eddie asked, moving to sit next to him.
“The king is dead, all hail the king,” Steve slurred.
Eddie scoffed. At least someone was getting something from their history class because it sure the hell wasn’t him.
“With the second concussion in two years, I’m off the team anyway,” Steve continued.
“Second?” Eddie asked, his eyes wide. “What the hell have you been doing man?”
Steve’s eyes focused momentarily. “Picking fights with boys that can kick my ass because they’re picking on kids that can’t defend themselves.”
“Actual kids?” Eddie asked his opinion of Billy dropping further than it already was.
“Does a thirteen year old still count as a kid?” Steve asked seriously.
Fuck.
“Yeah, yeah it does,” Eddie replied softly.
“I have this kid that I watch once and while,” Steve murmured, “actually I watch a half dozen, but anyway. Lucas Sinclair is really good at basketball and he tried out for the team. Billy decided to be a racist bastard about it. I clocked him and he laid me out. Literally.”
“Is that the reason for the...?” he waved at the bin and Steve’s face.
“Yup,” Steve said, closing his eyes. “Did you know that the nausea and dizziness of concussion can last longer than the actual concussion? Because I sure the hell didn’t.”
Eddie winced. “You up for the trek to the nurse’s office yet?”
Steve opened his eyes and looked over at the other boy. “I worry it’s the moving that’s making me puke.”
Eddie blinked and the cocked his head. “That’s a fair assessment, but you won’t know until you try.”
Steve nodded and then hissed. Eddie got his arm under him and gently lifted him to his feet.
Steve moaned.
“You good?” Eddie asked.
“Give me second,” Steve mumbled. He breathed heavily, trying to stop the world from spinning. “Okay. Yeah.”
Eddie moved them slowly through the halls to the nurse’s station. He didn’t throw up once which Eddie counted as a win.
“Messers Munson and Harrington,” the nurse greeted. “What causes you to darken my step today?”
Eddie grinned. “Nurse Ratchet, what a pleasure it is to see you again. I am here under orders to bring King Steve to you as he up chucked his lunch in math class.”
“It’s Nurse Kincade to you, Munson,” she bit out. “Put him on the table.”
Eddie steered Steve over to the table and looked him over. Steve was sweating from the exersion which considering he was in better shape than Eddie was that was a problem.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Do you want me to stay?”
Steve looked up at him and gulped. “Nah, man. You need to get back to class. You don’t want to be caught associating with me anyway.”
Eddie reared his head back. He was pretty sure that was his line. But he knew better than to argue. So he held up his hands and backed away slowly, listening to Steve explain to the nurse what had happened. Eddie grabbed the bin and cleaned it out before he returned to class. He had briefly thought to leave as a prank. But they would know it was him and he promised his Uncle Wayne that he wouldn’t get detention this year.
And while he also knew Uncle Wayne meant the school year, the year of 1984 was ending and he could at least last that long.
He got back to class and stood at the door. He really didn’t want to go in but class had fifteen minutes left and that was too long for him to wait. So with a heavy sigh he yanked open the door.
The teacher clocked him immediately. “You left Mr Harrington alone?”
Eddie threw up his hands again. “Dude wanted me to leave, I know better than to overstay my welcome.”
The teacher rolled his eyes. “And yet, here you are in my class for the second year in a row.”
Eddie grinned. “Aww, teach. That’s not overstaying my welcome, that’s tenacity.”
“This is algebra Mr Munson, not English,” he moaned. “Please take your seat.”
He could hear the snickering behind him, but he didn’t care. He thought about a boy who looked after kids that were barely teenagers and took beatings for them, to protect them. He thought about mismatched hazel eyes, one almost swollen shut. He thought about the inherent kindness of a beat down soul and wondered what made him kind in this cruel world.
*
Eddie spotted Steve at lunch, sitting by himself, pushing the food around on his tray. He was probably still feeling nauseous. He went to the vending machine and got ginger ale. As he passed by Steve, he looked at the bottle in his hand.
“Fuck,” he murmured. “I wanted a Coke. Hey, Harrington, you like ginger ale?”
Steve’s head snapped up in shock. “Uh, yeah. I’ve been known to like it on occasion.”
Eddie tossed it at him. “Here, you have it.”
He went and sat down by his friends. All three of them were juniors but he been friends with them since the talent show in middle school. They were in a band together called Corroded Coffin and they were pretty damn good if he thought so himself.
“What was that about, man?” Jeff asked.
Eddie turned to Jeff. He knew of all the boys at this table would understand why he threw Harrington a bone. He leaned in close so only his friends could hear.
“Harrington got his bell rung by Hargrove for protecting the Sinclair boy,” he whispered.
All three boys lifted their heads to look over at Steve who was sipping the ginger ale and starting to eat a little.
They hunched back into their circle.
“Looks like Hargrove got him good,” Gareth said. “What was the ginger ale for?”
“It’s good for nausea,” Eddie whispered. “He threw up in math class and I had to take him to the nurse’s station.”
“But I thought Carol and them were in that class, too,” Brian murmured.
Eddie shook his head. “They are, man. But Steve’s on the outs with the whole lot.”
Jeff frowned. “I didn’t think that Mr Harrington would have let his boy hang out with the Sinclairs.”
Eddie looked over at Steve and then back down to his friends. “I’m only telling you what he told me.”
His friends nodded. Whatever was going on, the Corroded Coffin boys were too far down the social ladder to be in the know.
Eddie looked over at the lonely boy one more time. Something didn’t feel right. Something else was going on, something darker. One didn’t simply go from the top of the social elite to less than the weirdos overnight for nothing. And Eddie was going to find out what.
Now with part 2 and part 3 part 4 part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9  Part 10 Part 11  Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21
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