#anyways I started this journey almost two years ago and I’m very happy with it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

odetojeons · 3 years

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Until It Feels Like You’re In Heaven — Jeon Wonwoo

request: Hello do you still take requests? Your writing is amazingggg!! Thank you for existing 😭💕. Can i req a whipped dom!wonwoo x fem reader where he has a size kink and a smol gf please? I think that will be a cute concept 🥺

tags: fem and sub!reader, dom!wonwoo, size kink, tattoed and pierced jeon wonwoo just because, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (uh idk why but I never write sex with a condom help), established wonwoo x reader, a tiiiny bit of spitting kink, very light verbal humiliation, aftercare, this goes from fluff to horny really quickly, fluff if you squint (or not?), a frankly unrealistic amount of cum, OH AND, stomach bulge 🥴

a/n: so haha I am back? with more filth? I tried adding fluff (even tho I completely forgot that the person who made the request asked for whipped wonwoo, good thing this is always in my agenda every time I write so I didn't have any problems lmfao) but I'm too much of a horny bitch and a simp for this man so,, idk? tell me what you think later! I hope you all perish— I mean, like this!

Word Count: 7826

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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ “Aren’t you going to help?” you question, lifting a brow at your boyfriend, who’s currently sitting in one of the chairs and supporting his chin with the palm of his hand, plate of onions that should be already cut laying untouched in front of him.

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“Nope,” Wonwoo answers, giving you that kind of smile which makes you almost, almost feel less annoyed at the fact that you’ve been trying to reach something in the upper shelves for the last five minutes and he doesn’t move his ass to help you at all. “You’re just too cute trying to reach something.”

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There’s heat creeping up your neck, cheeks tinting red, and Wonwoo's smile gets bigger, shining and full of fondness. It leaves you stunned in silence for a while. It’s hard not to be in love with him. But it’s not like you try anyways.

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“J-just hurry up, aren’t you hungry?” you cough, looking away solely because you can’t stand the warmness in Wonwoo’s face without feeling like you’re going to combust any time soon.

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“I am. I can help you out,” he states simply, but doesn’t make a move. You gesticulate with your hand, pointing at him and at the rice jar in the upper shelf. “But only if you say please, though.”

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“I’m—” laughing incredulously, you roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest. “Would you please get the rice jar for me, sir?”

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Wonwoo stares at you for a second too long, eyes a bit dark, and gets up to get the jar, without breaking eye contact. You instinctively make yourself smaller when his bigger and broader frame hovers over you, large enough to swallow your tiny body. The size difference has always been something you both feel incredibly turned on by.

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“So small,” he appreciates, always does, and your neck burns from the intensity of your blushing. “The cutest.”

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Wonwoo puts the rice jar in your hands, the darkness in his face melting into a beam.

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“Here it goes, little girl,” he says, going back to his chair to complete the task which he has been doing for at least ten minutes now. The way he says little girl has you dumbfounded, heart hammering against your chest. “Are you just going to stand there? Do you like being called little that much?”

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“Shut up,” you admonish, blushing furiously as you turn on your back to continue what you were doing. You just hate how everything Wonwoo does affects you so much. You’re sure this must be bad for your health.

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The two of you continue your journey through cooking and eating after you’re both done with the preparations. Things with Wonwoo are always so easy, everything feels natural and domestic and the bubbling feeling of happiness you feel whenever you’re with him lulls you to fall in love with him even deeper than before.

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The way he teases you when you’re clumsy and spill sauce over yourself, but still cleans you up with the most fond smile ever, like you’re so completely adorable he can’t help himself. Or when you put more salt in the food than you should and you know it’s not that good, but he still compliments it and tells you he loves it so much, the sincerity in his eyes makes a surge of something pull at your lower stomach.

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If Jeon Wonwoo isn’t the love of your life, you don’t know who is.

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But right now you just want the ground to eat you alive and swallow you whole, because you’re standing right in front of the bed. The one bed. To which it suddenly doesn’t look big enough, not as you remember.

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Well, it’s not like you have never shared a bed before, you have even had a shit ton of sex in this exact piece of mattress, but the thing is, it’s been a while since you last saw Wonwoo. His job required him to spend three months away, and this is the first time you came to his house ever since he came back two days ago.

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You consider throwing yourself out of the window and into the dark, miserable night, thinks your poor heart will explode otherwise.

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“I’m not going to eat you.” Wonwoo’s voice carries over from the bathroom door, startling you into action. You jerk toward the bed, jumping on it and face flushing. You had showered before him, now dressed with one of his big shirts.

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It fell all the way to your mid thigh, the size difference between the two of you making you almost drown on the fabric of his clothes. It smells nice, smells like Wonwoo, and your cheeks burn when he drinks the sight of you in with dark eyes, not even trying to hide.

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“Unless you want me to,” he adds, not helping your situation at all.

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BSHANDJAJSND?, your brain supplies.

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“Oh my god,” you admonish, yanking the blanket off the bed and just as you get in, your eyes hone in on the ink swirling up Wonwoo’s right biceps. You have seen the tattoo through the pictures he sent you before, the snake crawling up to his shoulder, head stopping at his right chest.

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This is, however, the first time you’ve seen the metal bar through one of Wonwoo’s nipples — to which you already knew the existence of, but looking in person is totally different —, heat winding in the pit of your belly as you realize the snake is looking right at that same nipple. Unfortunately for your poor heart, he’s wearing nothing but a pair of sweats, hanging low on his hips, slim waist on display.

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Wonwoo is… hot.

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There’s no other way to put it despite your best efforts. He looks like one of those Greek statues, rippling muscle and hand carved abs, the cut of his jaw too sharp to be real. Your mouth waters and you can’t look away.

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And Wonwoo has been changing. He always had the thin type of body, being slim and tall, but in the end of last year he started exchanging the lazy hours he spent gaming with animated workouts at the gym — something about the way he was wasting his precious time of life and he could be acquiring knowledge and being healthy instead of sitting in front of a computer for hours —, and holy fuck if the result wasn’t quite the damn view.

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You draw the blanket right up to your chin, back very purposefully to Wonwoo’s side of the bed as you’re still trying to stop the mild heart attack you have going on. You don’t want to see him climbing into bed for safety purposes but that doesn’t mean your heart rate doesn’t spike up when the bed dips. When Wonwoo settles down under the same blanket, your brain very enthusiastically — and meaningfully — points out that you’re only a few centimeters away and that there’s nothing separating you.

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His abs flash behind your eyes and you nearly throw the blanket off, ready to storm out of the room and sleep on the sofa instead. You let out a breath you don’t even know you’re holding when Wonwoo flicks the flight off, the room disappearing into darkness, before he turns on the red leds from under his bed.

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You feel warm all over with the fact that he still remembers you don’t like sleeping in complete darkness.

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You try not to tense too much when he drapes an arm around your waist, locking you in. Your legs tangle together as he adjusts himself better, the other arm coming behind your head to serve as a pillow. Now you’re not only dying from the closeness but as well essentially drooling over the bulge of his thick biceps.

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Congratulations universe for managing to make you even more desperate.

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You’re not sure how long you just lie there, staring out the window, unable to fall asleep. Your brain doesn’t want to shut off, a blaring alarm of Jeon Wonwoo going off in your head.

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“I missed you so much,” Wonwoo says as if he read your thoughts, voice soft and filled with warmth, and you find yourself immediately melting in his arms despite your nervousness. “Thought I was going crazy without you, munchkin.”

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There’s a hard squeeze in your heart. You just love so much when he calls you that.

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“Missed you too,” you admit with a smile, the tip of Wonwoo’s nose dragging through your hair as he inhales the smell of his own shampoo. “Missed your smell.”

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“Just my smell?” Wonwoo teases with a light tone, caressing his free hand on your inner thigh. It was supposed to be a feather-like gesture, but the closeness between the two of you made your body oversensitive, and you find yourself moaning softly as your skin rocks with a shiver.

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Wonwoo tenses immediately when he hears the sound, hand stuttering to a stop. There’s a beat of what you call the most painful silence you ever had — your mind swirls with the thought that you just ruined the mood, face heating up uncontrollably at your own neediness —, before his fingers sink into the flesh of your inner thigh, startling you with the strength behind his grip.

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“Answer me.”

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You whine louder this time, the realization of his change of tone going from fond to an irrevocable order sinking wanton deep within your lower stomach. You try to close your legs, but Wonwoo’s leg stops you where it rests right in the middle of them, dangerously close to your throbbing core. You wonder if he could feel the heat emanating from it.

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“N-no,” you begin, voice already shaken up. Wonwoo’s breath caresses the helix of your ear, making goosebumps surge all over your skin. “Missed y-your bed too.”

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“Is that so?” he hums, chest vibrating where it presses against your back. “What else, munchkin?”

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“Missed—” your voice gets caught up in your throat when he licks your helix, teeth pulling the lobe of your ear. The soft drag of his lips all over that place is making your job difficult. “M-missed all of you, hmmm.”

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Wonwoo hums again, pleased with your answer, and leans so close to you your body gets half pinned to the bed. This way his bigger frame completely engulfs your smaller one, the difference between your sizes getting even more overwhelming now that he’s bulked up.

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And you’re not the only one affected by it, because as soon as Wonwoo realizes how he almost swallows you up in this position, he downright moans right by your ear.

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“So fucking small,” he tells you appreciatevely, voice one octave lower as his fingers presses on your inner thigh harder. “Missed touching you.”

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There’s a shift in Wonwoo, his leg rising up between yours and stopping centimeters away from the heat of your cunt, and you can’t hold back the shiver, wants Wonwoo to press down there. When you attempt to slide Wonwoo’s hand up and off of you so then you could turn around, you’re met with a growl instead, Wonwoo bodily pinning you to the bed.

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“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks, and it makes you feel like you’re a prey just ready to be caught by the big, bad wolf. You whine softly at that thought, hand coming to grab at Wonwoo’s wrist reflexively.

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“Wonwoo,” is your answer, like that would explain everything. Wonwoo chuckles softly, embarrassment burning on your cheeks.

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“When we called and I saw your face,” he says, barely above a whisper. “I wanted to fuck you so bad.”

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Suddenly, you can’t remember how to breathe, Wonwoo’s mouth on your neck, planting a soft kiss just under your ear. He nuzzles into the same spot, kisses lower and your heart shakes loud enough you think the neighbors might hear, hyperaware of every inch of your bodies touching.

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“I know I couldn’t, so I did it all from behind,” Wonwoo admits, sending your mind into a little haze. Of course he has been jerking off to the thought of you, but hearing him say it out loud has your panties getting soaked. “Sticking my dick in…”

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Wonwoo hasn’t stopped nuzzling you, in some kind of daze as he inhales your scent. There’s a hand on your hip now, holding you down, liquid heat pooling in your belly, spreading outward.

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“…and fucking you mercilessly…” he continues, voice getting deeper and rougher with each word, his breath labored. “…and watching you cum endlessly… I thought I would be fine just imagining it.”

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“W-Won—” you start, breathless, the sound of your own voice sounding so airy leaving you embarrassed. But then finally, finally he presses his thigh into your core, your hips immediately going down to rut hard against the muscle.

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“Fucking drenched,” Wonwoo snarls lowly when he feels the wetness of your soaked panties dirtying the fabric of his sweatpants.

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The sound makes you writhe on the bed, fists balling in the mattress.

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“But seeing you, so small…” the trace of Wonwoo’s hand in your skin is light, almost like a gentle whisper as it makes a burning path up, up, up until it stops by your neck, fingers closing softly around your throat. “Makes me want to rail you, carve the shape of my big cock inside your walls.”

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Wonwoo’s teeth sink into the skin just at the base of your neck. It’s hardly a bite, you know he could leave worse, but then Wonwoo laps at it afterwards, tender, surrenders you into moving your hips obscenely on his thigh. The way he says, knows his cock is big has heat licking your insides, and if it were anyone else saying the same thing you would be cringed, but there’s just something special about Jeon Wonwoo doing this that makes him look like the hottest man alive.

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“You’re addicting,” Wonwoo admits with a growl, the feeling of his touch turning possessive as he helps you ride his thigh better by a hand on your waist. “Once I get a taste I can’t stop myself from wanting more. Wanna have my way with you until you’re all mine.”

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Need seeps through your bones, body trembling as you try to scatter the air it has been knocked out of your lungs when Wonwoo fits his cock in the curve of your ass.

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“Y-you’re hard,” you comment, as if it’s not obvious, but it has been so long since the last time you felt his bulge pressing against you that it makes you desperate. “You’re so hard.”

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“Who’s fault do you think it is?” Wonwoo questions, groaning when you sway your hips from side to side on his cock.

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“Can we…” you trail off, hiding your face in the pillow. “Y-you know?”

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“Nope, you gotta be more specific,” he says with a teasing smile, and you smack him in the arm. Wonwoo laughs before his voice gets serious. “Say it.”

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This switch of him turning on and off between a sweet boyfriend to the man who doms you never fails to give you a whiplash.

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“Can we— Can w-we fuck?” you ask shyly, wanting the ground to swallow you whole. You have no idea why you are being this shy.

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“Hmm, it depends,” Wonwoo hums like he’s considering the options. You turn to look at him, mortified, but he only laughs at your indignation. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

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You blush furiously at the question, face turning to look away as you mumble a yes, but then Wonwoo’s grabbing at your jaw and yanking your head back in place until you’re staring right in the deepness of his eyes, the intensity of them stunting you into complete silence.

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“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he orders, leaving no room for arguments, and you nod your head quickly at that. “Out loud.”

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“Y-yes,” you hurry to obey, watching satisfaction curl all over his face. “‘M always a good girl.”

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“I don’t think so, munchkin,” Wonwoo grins, wicked and teasing, and you brace yourself for whatever is going to happen this night. “Sometimes you’re so desperate and impatient you can’t even wait for me before fucking yourself with those plastic toys of yours.”

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“Wonwoo,” and you’re unable to look away even when shame burns all over your body. “H-how did you—”

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“How did I know?” your sentence morphs into a moan when Wonwoo presses his thigh so hard against you cunt it has your body jumping a little. “You think I wouldn’t feel how you’re more loose when I fucked you? You think I don’t notice the way you look at me?”

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Wonwoo is mercilessly dragging your hips up and down his leg, your whines sounding high and sweet in your own ears.

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“You’re oblivious even to yourself,” he tells you, tone rough as he ruts against your ass. Your heart lurches in your chest, Wonwoo’s words like a hot coal in the pit of your belly, erupting into flames. You want to squeeze your eyes shut, cunt pulsing with arousal. “Even today, the way you were staring at me…”

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But then, Wonwoo’s touch is gone. His hands leave your hips, thigh frees you from the pressure, and the warmth seems so far now. You turn, complaint already at the tip of your tongue, but Wonwoo’s faster, rougher as he manhandles you on your back and hovers over your body, caging you in with his arms.

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“You looked like a prey who has just been caught into the wolf’s den,” he smiles at you, wicked and cruel as he grabs your jaw and pushes your head back. “Like you wanted me to break you in until it feels like you’re in heaven.”

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There’s a breath against your bare neck, his groan hitting your skin when he bites it.

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“Or eat you up until there’s nothing left in you that doesn’t belong to me,” you’re definitely not expecting the moan that escapes Wonwoo’s mouth, so affected and deep it’s got all the hairs in your nape standing up, every fiber of your body telling you to submit. “Fuck, and it turns me on so much.”

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You make a sound out of neediness, hands reaching for Wonwoo. He goes easily, body pressing into yours as he crashes your lips together. Wonwoo kisses you like he wants to conquer you, licking into the seam of your mouth and teeth scraping at your bottom lip just so he could soothe the pain later with his tongue. Your head spins with the intensity of it, it’s messy and there’s too much spit and teeth, but that only makes it even more addicting.

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But Wonwoo doesn’t kiss you enough today. He almost never does when he’s feeling like that — possessive, mean, wicked even, when he needs you to know your damn place —, wants to ebb the pleasure away when you’re starting to get hotter until it’s replaced by pure desperation and you can’t do anything else other than beg for him to give in to you.

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So that’s what you do, staring up at his eyes trained on you as if you’re a prey.⠀

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“Please,” you start, voice caught into a moan when Wonwoo’s fingers sink into your jaw and his mouth falls ajar, like the sound of you saying this particular word gives a physical stroke to his cock. “P-please, fuck me. Wanna— Wanna belong t-to you.”

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And that’s enough. That’s enough, that’s enough, Wonwoo wants, you want, and he’ll give that to you since he has always been a weak man for your begging. There’s a fraction of seconds that he thinks he might pass out with all the blood rushing from his head to his other head, cock throbbing in his sweatpants.

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“Don’t know how so much eagerness fits into this little body of yours,” Wonwoo murmurs against your mouth, his hand squeezing your face. You find yourself parting your mouth open, whining, pliant and overwhelmed as Wonwoo slips his tongue in again, kissing you filthy. The scent of his familiar cologne is so sharp, surrounding you and leaving your mind dazed until all you can think is Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo. When he pulls back this time, Wonwoo pushes his thumb into your mouth, eyes half-lidded as he watches you swirl your tongue around it, sucking it further into your mouth.

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You moan around it, watching Wonwoo’s every reaction, the way his breath hitches, shoulders tensing. There’s a shift on the bed, Wonwoo moving up and up and up and you can’t breathe because now the bulge pressing against the fabric of his clothes is standing proudly right in front of your face, Wonwoo almost straddling your chest. You let the realization that he’s going to fuck your mouth sink deep within your core, and try not to show how deeply affected you are by the idea.

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You fail, of course, hips lifting off of the bed and falling down again, biting around the finger inside of your mouth that keeps you from taking a better look in the place you are dying to see.

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“That desperate to suck me off, baby?” Wonwoo asks, and you flush, hate how you love the humiliated burn, how it makes you wetter. You’re too embarrassed to throw something back at Wonwoo, gaze dropping to his erect cock the best you can. He pushes your head back up, making you look at him instead. “Do you wanna see it?”

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“I do,” you reply, a little too fast for your own good, and it only serves for Wonwoo to laugh at your neediness. You debate if you’re as red as you think you are, the burn in your cheeks spreading all the way down to your neck.

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“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” Wonwoo’s tone is almost condescending, still playful, like he doesn’t think you can even handle the sight of his cock, and you like how it makes your cunt twitch and ache. It’s as if you enjoy the belittlement, enjoy the way Wonwoo wants you to prove yourself.

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“I’m,” you start, swallowing, “I’m ready.”

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Wonwoo’s smile is a touch dark, nearly a sneer, but his hand leaves your mouth to hook a thumb in the waistband of his pants. You nearly drool. He pulls on the fabric until his cock is free, slapping against your left cheek and smearing precum on your face. Your head spins, realising that even this part of Wonwoo’s body seemed to have grown bigger. Maybe it’s your imagination, haven’t actually seen it in real life for the past three months, but the thickness is intimidating.

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The best intimidating possible.

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Your heart thuds in your chest, unable to look away from his cock. There’s spit collecting on your tongue, embarrassment fighting against your desire to please. Leaning forward, you suckle the tip into your mouth, making a pleased sound when you taste the salty tang of precum.

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Wonwoo leans back a bit, wanting to assess your face better, and the taut lines of his body contorts in an even hotter way with the new position. You moan again, staring at the piercing in Wonwoo’s nipple and the head of the inked snake looking at it, and sucks on the head, tongue pushing along the underside. Your body throbs with your own heated desire.

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You wrap a hand around the base, gut twisting hotly when you realise you can’t even get your fingers all the way around — no matter how many times you notice this, they all make you feel equally needy. And you’re not the only one affected by it, Wonwoo’s hips kicking forward and cock thrusting inside of your mouth, the growl he lets out going straight to your core.

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“Fuck,” he says, breath audible enough to echo inside the room. “I will ruin you.”

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The confession has your body arching for a few seconds, sucking hard on the tip of Wonwoo’s cock until he’s moaning at the feeling. He takes a fistful of your hair, but you push against the hold so you could take more of it into your mouth.

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“Quit it,” Wonwoo demands, your displeased whine making his hold grow firmer. “Do as you’re told or you might not get my cock at all tonight.”

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He pulls you off, your pants loud and labored.

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“Did I make myself clear?”

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“Yes, sir,” you add just for the teasing — but mostly because you want Wonwoo to punish you for making him lose his beloved control —, feeling pleased as you watch the clear change of expressions going on in Wonwoo’s face. His eyes darken impossibly more, eyebrows frowning and then there’s a hand on your neck.

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Your mouth goes dry as soon as his fingers close around your throat, body writhing and mind going into submission mode.

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“Filthy little slut,” Wonwoo snarls, face suddenly close, and then he’s spitting into your open mouth and you feel like you will come very soon. You flinch, eyes shutting on reflex, and then moan. “Want me to punish you, don’t you?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You don’t say anything, can’t say anything, but you hope the look in your eyes answers his question. It probably does, because there’s a tiny little smirk playing on the edge of Wonwoo’s lips before he kisses you, softer than you could ever imagine he would be in this moment.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I love you,” he breathes, the sudden confession making a different kind of burn itch your throat. You know very well that when Wonwoo tells you that I’m the middle of sex then it’s because this will be a passionate fucking. One of those that he keeps your body so close you think you might become one with him, one of those he kisses you so gently one moment only to treat you roughly in the other, one of those he wants to make you fall apart, crumble and cry and even so, it will be full of love and care and sweetness. “I love you so much.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo doesn’t wait for your answer. Doesn’t need to, he knows your heart belongs to him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Say ah for me, sweetheart,” Wonwoo instructs and you obey, mouth hanging open, tongue out. Wonwoo slaps his cock against it, precum dirtying your tongue as the slap slap slap of his cock hitting your mouth fills the heavy air of the room. He even traces the tip over your upper lip, smearing precum along your cheek when he slaps your face with it before placing his cock right back on your waiting tongue. “Put this mouth to better use.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You do, eager to do as you’re told after Wonwoo’s confession, blood singing from his praise and his disparagement alike. You sink down onto it as far as you can take it, nearly gagging when it hits the back of your throat. Wonwoo drowns out a broken “fuck” above you, stroking your cheek and moving further in the bed to lessen the awkward twist of your neck.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You look so good with my cock in your mouth,” Wonwoo breathes, voice strained as you suck him off, head bobbing. He brushes your hair back, little groans and growls escaping him every time his cock hits the back of your throat, you swallowing around it, or when you speed up, fucking your mouth on Wonwoo’s length. “Such a pretty little cocksucker, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You blush, heart hammering in your chest with the compliment, but he closes a fist in your hair and makes you stop all movements.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Gonna fuck your mouth,” Wonwoo starts, holding your wrist with his free hand and putting your fingers above his thigh. You know that it means if you want me to stop, tap twice, and it makes heat coil in your belly. “until you gag.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You moan a bit uncontrollably around his cock, legs kicking in the bed at the affirmation, and Wonwoo is staring at you with a look you can’t quite describe. It makes you ashamed of being so eager but at the same time proud of being his little cockslut.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo holds you in place, hips bucking into your mouth. He goes slow at first, wanting you to get used with the feeling because it has been a while since the last time you sucked him off. It is short lived, as soon as you look up at him and nod — the best you could with your movements being kind of restricted —, his thrusts turn sharp and fast, your jaw aching from how long you had Wonwoo’s fat cock in your mouth.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You moan, one of your hands still working up and down along Wonwoo’s shaft as he fucks into you, tears beginning to prickle at the corners of your eyes. He falls a bit forward when you start gagging a little, throat convulsing around his thickness, and he sprawls his fingers in the wall for support.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck fuck fuck, shit,” Wonwoo breathes, voice gravelly, his grip in your hair getting tighter and tighter. Tingles spark down your spine, wetness pouring out of you and soaking your panties even more and you want so desperately to come, to be fucked, but you want to please him first.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s thrusts begin to turn erratic as he fucks your mouth, a growl erupting out of him on a particularly hard thrust, and then he’s pulling away. You look at him, mind in a haze, but still dumbfounded. His breath is labored and he looks like he’s having a hard time keeping together, hips thrusting into the air. It boosts your ego to see him this messed up because of you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Did so well for me, sweetheart,” Wonwoo tells you, voice strained from effort but still full of fondness, and you feel butterflies dancing in your stomach at the praise. It seems like he wants his orgasm to ebb away. At the look you’re giving him, he adds: “Wanna cum with you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You mewl at the thought, watching him position himself between your legs again and kissing you slowly. Wonwoo caresses your cheek with a gentle thumb, other hand tracing a feather-like path down your body. His fingers brush against your nipple, the whine you let out being swallowed by Wonwoo’s greedy mouth, and he sneaks his hand under your shirt just as his kisses fly to your neck.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And then Wonwoo’s sucking. Hard.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It caughts you off guard, hips lifting off of the bed and thigh pressing tightly against Wonwoo’s cock, his groan being muffled by your skin. He bites, suckles and kisses the particular spot underneath your jaw, so far up your neck you won’t be able to hide it, especially because it’s summer. And you feel warm all over, how he always remembers exactly your pleasure point, the place that has your head spinning with pleasure.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your hands fly to his hair, cunt throbbing with need when he tongues at the purple hickey, and it’s throbbing, pulsating with how hard he sucked. It leaves you breathless, not having time to recover when Wonwoo pulls your shirt up until he can get one nipple into his mouth.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wonwon, fuck,” you whimper, body oversensitive with all that has been going on, and Wonwoo growls at the nickname, hand coming to pinch your other nipple like he’s telling you how much this affects him. “Please—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo bites at it, tongue coming to soothe the pain later, and you’re sure the grip you have on his hair must be painful, but he says nothing; only looks more intent on making you moan. Wonwoo busies himself with sucking hickeys all over the place as one of his hands continues to descend down your body, thumb pressing in a spot by your hips that has your back arching and a desperate whine being pulled out of you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Down and down, his fingers then slips inside your penties, brushing across your clit so lightly that it has your whole body rocking with shivers.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

But then, Wonwoo’s body goes completely still. You feel him tensing under your palms, heat already flooding your face when you know he feels it, feels the way you’re already stretched open for him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You—” he starts but stops himself, pushing a finger inside for great measure. Wonwoo growls when he meets almost no resistance, face lifting from where it rests on your chest to look at you. “When?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The intensity of his voice leaves your mouth dry.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“E-earlier, in the— in the s-shower,” you confess, voice quiet, and you can’t look away, Wonwoo’s eyes pinning you to your spot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hah,” he states simply, a sound of pleasant surprise, and adds another finger inside. Wonwoo pushes them to the hilt, until his knuckles brush your pelvis. You moan, head thrown back at the sudden, but welcomed intrusion. “Acting all nervous around me but this is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He gyrates his hand, pushing hard and without mercy, right before he adds another finger, this time more slowly. It burns a little, his fingers way bigger than yours, but you love the slight pain.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Did you come into my house knowing I would fuck you?” Wonwoo asks, knows the answers but does it anyway. He moves his hand a little, waiting for your to be more comfortable with the sensation of his fingers, but as soon as your frown turns upside down, Wonwoo has no restrains whatsoever, fucking into you fast and sharp. “Fingered yourself knowing that I would split you open on my big cock?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You can’t even think straight, hips rising off of the bed, but Wonwoo holds your waist with his free hand and pins them down hard. Your upper body lifts with this, back arching and legs kicking everywhere as you can’t stop the loud moans slipping through your lips, doesn’t even care about the neighbors as your nails sink into Wonwoo’s back to the point it might leave tiny crescent moons all over it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Did you come back then?” Wonwoo continues, pace unforgiving even when tears well up into your eyes. He trusts you to use your safeword if needed as much as you trust him to use his. “Did you?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You struggle to answer, voice being surrendered to moans and whines and whimpers and it’s hard to focus when he’s hitting your sweet spot with the tip of his fingers.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Ah! Ah, hmmm, f-fuck, please Won— Wonwon,” you try, can’t even understand how you still manage to get red when you realise Wonwoo is looking at you with so much desire. The point you both most like about your relationship is that Wonwoo is the dom, but he knows you have him in the palm of your tiny hands. “I, ah, d-din’t. Di— Didn’t want to, fuck, please— c-come without you—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo pulls his fingers out at that, your cunt clenching around nothing as he goes lighting fast to take both of your clothes off, grab your waist and flip you on your stomach just as he reaches for the nightstand to grab what you know very well it’s a bottle of lube. He pulls your hips up until you’re face down, ass up on the bed, the hurry in all of this only sending desperation all over your body, and the sound of the cap being opened has butterflies in your stomach.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah? Fuck,” Wonwoo sounds a mess, fingers hurrying to close a fist on his cock and jerk it off furiously to spread the lube better, the wet head nudging against your rim. “Fuck, shit, I wanna fuck you so bad.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Do it,” you beg. “Please.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And who is he to deny what you want?

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo pushes inside you slowly despite his hunger, knows he’s big and there’s an alarming size difference between the both of you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your hands clench into fists and it feels like you’re being impaled onto Wonwoo’s cock, going deeper than any cock you ever taken before. Tears cling to your lashes as a small jolt of pain runs up your spine, the lube easing Wonwoo’s way in. Overall you’re proud of yourself, haven taken him before, more times than you can count, and you accommodate his cock like a pro.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your chest heaves, no amount of air feels like enough as Wonwoo’s cock all but punches everything out of you. You’re biting at the pillow by the time the last of it pushes into you, a haze surrounding your mind because it feels so good.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s groan transforms into a moan once he’s buried all the way into you, hips flush against your ass and spreading you open so wide and so deep, you would think you might break if you didn’t know any better. You gasp, back arching downward as you take your time to adjust to the large intrusion.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo kisses your shoulder tenderly, waiting for you to grow used to the feeling. He can be rough when it comes to bed, but he always is mindful of you no matter how impatient and desperate he is. There’s this soft feeling going on inside you, mixing with your pleasure and it only serves to make you more needy.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo doesn’t move for a while, hot breath falling against your neck as he stands behind you. You feel surrounded — his scent everywhere, the pulse of the hickeys he carved on your skin, the press of his long fingers on your waist —, your submission for Wonwoo’s eyes only.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You nod at him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

A lick at your neck is all the warning you get before Wonwoo pulls out so very slowly, cock dragging against your walls and rim. It feels like forever, you whining at the sensation, and then you’re being slammed back into.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Ah!” you gasp, eyes blurry as you struggle for air. You moan as Wonwoo drags himself back out again, and thrusts right back in and groans at the feeling. “Y-yes—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So good,” Wonwoo growls, close to inhumane as he continues with that pace. “So fucking good.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Eventually, Wonwoo doesn’t seem to be able to go slow anymore, thrusts turning sharper and harder, his pace unrelenting. You find yourself almost screaming through it, so overwhelmed by the size of him — a good overwhelmed, the best overwhelmed —, but the way you feel so full and the exponential pleasure leaves you numb to any other thought.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo, your mind seems to chant, fucked open mercilessly by your boyfriend.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Taking cock like a pro, aren’t you, sweetheart?” Wonwoo says, stops for a second, adjusts his hips, and then slams back right into your sweet spot, like he knows where it is by heart. Your body lurches forward, bed slamming against the wall. Hands reaching to hold onto something, you scramble against the sheats until one of them fists it and the other holds the pillow for dear life. “You’re gonna wake the whole hall, screaming like that.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You have enough of a decency to feel ashamed about it, but it’s not like neither of you actually care. If anything, Wonwoo fucks you harder, hips jamming inside you until your throat hurts from all the noises you’re making.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Please, p-please— I wanna— I h-have to— Fuck, ah!” you’re not even sure about what you’re begging for, Wonwoo pulling your hips to meet his thrusts half way. You love this, feeling like a ragdoll, being thrown around and only able to take what he gives to you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Good little girl,” Wonwoo croons, his voice rough. Your skin glistens with sweat, the shimmering red light reflecting on it. “Looking so beautiful taking my cock.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re not sure what compels you after he says that but you reach down, hand smoothing down your abdomen because you feel like Wonwoo is spearing you open. But you go completely tense, squeezing Wonwoo so hard he stutters with a moan, because under your palm there is the outline of his cock protruding against your lower belly. The feeling makes you so overwhelmed that you can’t hold it in, whithe pleasure flooding you as you end up coming, eyes rolling to the back of your head and you’re crying all the way through it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re coming?” Wonwoo deadpans, sounding surprised and angry at the same time. “Holy shit, you’re coming untouched and without my permission? What were you think—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s complaint immediately dies down when you bring a trembling hand to grab his wrist and put his fingers in the cause of your orgasm. There’s a beat of silence, the both of you completely still, and then Wonwoo is growling the most animalistic growl you ever heard him do, the sheer intensity of it rocking all the way to your bones. He presses his hips so tightly into yours it has you sobbing.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck,” it’s all he says, tone two octaves lower and sounding dangerous, doesn’t even have it in him to punish you. “Fuck.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It’s like the caged beast he keeps so carefully locked deep within himself started to surface. Wonwoo pushes your head down on the mattress, the other hand still on your belly. He pulls out until the tip and then slams back inside, as hard as he can, and you downright scream at the feeling, the oversensitiviness adding up to your pleasure.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s another few seconds of silence, and then Wonwoo is fucking you brutally. His moans echo through the room, so completely desperate that it has you wailing, sobbing, crying desperate pleas for more.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Look at that,” Wonwoo says, hand pressing harder against the bulge in your stomach. “Pushed my big cock into you until your insides were forced to make room for it.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He grabs your arm and yanks you up, your back pressing against his chest and an arm circling around your waist. The other comes up to squeeze your left breast as you practically sit on his thighs. You moan at the feeling of his pierced nipple dragging against your skin every time he fucks up into you, your body only held in place because of the firm grip Wonwoo has on you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Sobbing, you feel like you’re losing yourself in the sensations, Wonwoo’s cock pounding into your cunt and his voice by your ear and the burn of his hips hitting your ass — by now it must be all red, the marks probably going to linger for some time. You can’t hold yourself together anymore, mouth open and drooling, tears clinging to your lashes, staccato moans falling from your lips that break on every thrust. You’re limp against Wonwoo, can’t even fuck back, letting him have his way with you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Drooling all over yourself for my cock,” Wonwoo says, fucks in deep against your sweet spot and mouths at the side of your neck. “Because of me, right? Tell me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-you— yours, yours, please,” your head falls back on his shoulder, hand pressing tightly in the shape of his cock in your stomach, and at this point you don’t even know what you’re doing anymore.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I’ve broken you in, fuck.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And he did, really. He has broken you in, has you crying on his cock.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You belong to who?” Wonwoo pressed his hips flush on your ass, grinds hard enough for your body to be sent forward. A short few seconds so you can take a breath — or at least try to. “Hm? Who’s fucking you this good?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“W-Wonwoo, Wonwon, you, please,” you cry out as he starts to fuck you mercilessly again, the brutal pace punching moans out of you. “Ah, ah, ah, p-please, haaah, I’m y-yours— yours, b-belong to, hmmm, to you only, please!”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah,” Wonwoo echoes, thrusts turning erratic and groans morphing into moans. “Mine.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I can’t — I’m g-gonna—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Come for me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And it’s enough for you. Your muscles tense, toes curling as hot, white pleasure surges through your body and floods you until you fall limp on the bed, hips only up because Wonwoo is holding them tightly. You clench around his cock involuntarily, his groan muffled by your hair and he’s coming, Wonwoo’s cock twitching inside you as thick spurts of come fill you to the brim. They seem to be endless, his spunk filling you up until it’s dripping out and down your thighs.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You don’t remember much of what happens later. Your mind spins and then you fall into a most needed slumber.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You wake up a bit disoriented, having no idea how much has passed since you fell asleep, but you realise you’re all cleaned up and dressed, head resting in Wonwoo’s — thankfully, for the sake of your precious pussy — clothed chest as he uses his cellphone. He smells clean too, hair still a little bit wet, and you smile thinking that the shower you both took before going to bed was useless.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re up?” comes Wonwoo’s question when he feels your lips moving against him, placing his phone somewhere on the bed and circling his arms around you. You move your head, looking up at him with fondness.⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hey, baby,” you breathe out, reaching to peck him in the lips once. He smiles, that kind of smile that leaves you breathless with love.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hey, my love,” Wonwoo laughs when you blush at the pet name. It’s so sweet and endearing, you always feel warm whenever he says it. “I see you still get all red when I call you that.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shut up,” you swat at his arm, Wonwoo’s following laugh sounding like the best music you ever heard. “How much did I sleep?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Not much,” he presses you tighter against him. “I think one hour? Something like that.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Thanks for taking care of me,” you say, legs tangling with his and the smile never leaving your lips.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Of course, my love. Always will take care of you,” Wonwoo nuzzles your hair and inhales. “Got kind of surprised that I managed to fuck you into unconsciousness.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wonwoo,” you mortify with a laugh, hitting his chest, but he only giggles at you. He giggles. Your heart might explode soon.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“What? Can’t I be happy that I pleasured my tiny girlfriend the way she deserves to?” Wonwoo says, and it sounds like a joke, but when you look up at him again to make a retort, the reverence in his eyes surrenders you speechless.⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He stares at you with so much admiration and love, like you’re the most beautiful thing ever.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I love you,” you say instead, cheeks hurting from the way you’re smiling, and Wonwoo seems to be caught off guard because he’s blushing. Wonwoo’s blushing. He’s so cute you want to die.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shut up and go back to sleep,” he coughs, pushing your head against his chest and you laugh at this shyness. “I love you too.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Yes. The warmness of his hands, the beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, the love in his eyes, the sweetness of his words — you missed everything about Jeon Wonwoo.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

3K notes · View notes

blisschi · 3 years

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Hi, can i request a zhongli x male reader angst to fluff hanahaki au where male reader was a God a long time ago who died to hanahaki because of zhongli and guizhong, but male reader is resurrected as a mortal and zhongli sees them again

Hey! I'm not completely sure if that is what you meant nonnie, but this idea was stuck in my head for a while now and I just had to write it! It's certainly not one of my best pieces but.. I hope you like it.. 💕

🌸In another life🌸

Pairing: Zhongli x Hanahaki! M! Reader

Warnings: Major Character Death, Angst to Fluff..? I think.. It's really bittersweet.

Notes: u_u ... I can't english

Zhongli turned his head towards the storyteller, who clearly caught his attention with the words that just left his mouth. Although for most people it was unknown, forgotten, Zhongli never forgot a single event in the story he started.

"Once upon a time, there was a young god who loved every creature in Tayvat."

He lowered the cup that he was holding, focusing his attention on the words of the story.

They always started out the same.

"The god that loved every creature in Tayvat, the same god that would offer everything to everyone by his love, lost life."

They always ended the same way.

Zhongli closed his eyes and took a deep breath, remembering the moment he met the young man with a smile on his face.

The man told him that he was visiting Liyue out of sheer curiosity, and that he was coming back to it out of curiosity as well.

"Do you think I could be any kind of a threat to you?" You laughed softly, turning your head towards your friend. Although you were a weak god and you were far from strong, somehow the Geo Archon decided to devote a moment of his attention to you. The moment that sprouted into feeling.

Morax smiled slightly and walked closer to you, gazing out at the sea of clouds.

"Things that are dangerous, not often have to look like a threat."

Just like love.

Love can be beautiful, but won't it turn into poison in the blink of an eye as soon as you lose control of it?

Like flowers, can delight with their amazing charm, when their roots must dig into the very center of the heart, almost breaking it.

"He taught him to understand."

"The young god introduced himself by the name [Y / N]. He befriended Rex Lapis, despite different views and observations." The storyteller continued.

Zhongli looked down at his cup, half full of tea. His mind was full of the thoughts he always chose to leave to himself. He thought that from the mortals, he probably would never hear this name again.

Morax sighed softly, smiling as you pulled his hand along the fields of flowers. He never really understood why you loved them so much, but he could accept that the time you spent with them made you feel relaxed.

"You have some really beautiful plants here, you know?" You laughed as you let go of his hand and ran to one of the trees, immediately sitting under it. The other male calmly approached you and watched as one of the butterflies sat on your finger.

Maybe it was your charm that all creatures loved so much? Until then, he was unable to answer this question. Why did he choose to protect you? Is it because he really thought you were a dear friend to him? Maybe it was because you seemed so vulnerable and weak, just making him feel pity.

You lifted your hand up, showing the creature to your friend. It's wings were golden that gleamed like the light of the setting sun.

"It's so small. but it was not afraid to sit on my finger.. just like I was not afraid to make contact with you, Morax." Glistening pupils looked at you now, taking their attention away from the butterfly. "If you wanted to, I would have been lying underground a long time ago. If you only thought that I was a threat.. ha.."

You laughed softly as you watched the butterfly fly away from your sight.

"You wouldn't hesitate to attack me, would you?"

"He taught him to look up to the future."

Sometimes being weak has its advantages. Not everyone sees you as their enemy, the stronger will usually ignore you, or offer help caused by feelings of pity. Pity over your existence and weakness.

Where do you see this land in a few hundred years, Morax? It was one of your first questions to him that he had to think seriously about. Of course, he cared about Liyue, but admittedly he never thought about what everything would look like in the future.

Will he still dominate these beautiful landscapes? Will he still be able to be called their Archon?

"He taught him to take care."

Zhongli smiled, closing his eyes. He would never have thought it would end this way. True, his life was not over, but the divine era certainly came to an end. People, although weak - will cope.

A soft laugh broke the silence in the room as you ran one hand through the god's hair. This was one of those days where you spent time together, without any worries. You gently braided Morax's hair, smiling to yourself.

"Maybe you should wear this hairstyle more often?" You asked, gently tangling some pieces of flowers into his hair. He just closed his eyes and relaxed in the feeling of your touch. Your hands always seemed extremely delicate. "No? The great god who rules over all Liyue doesn't have time to spend a few minutes making a hairstyle?"

"I didn't say anything." The man sighed and turned to face you. "Why should I worry about a trivial thing like my hair?"

You raised your eyebrows and tilted your head slightly, apparently surprised by his answer.

"Isn't it nicer to look at Liyue when everything is in its place?" You asked, getting up from the ground and placing both of your hands on his shoulders. "If you take care of every smallest element.. eventually these elements will fit together and create perfection.. No matter if it is the perfect weapon.. power.. or hairstyle.."

You were happy watching your friend become attached to more people. At first you enjoyed it, you thought you helped him open up to the world. On your journey together, you met a large number of amazing beings, but suddenly one goddess appeared that seemed to take the person dearest to you away.

"The young god taught him feelings that Rex Lapis did not understand before. He helped him open up to new things, to new people."

Zhongli gritted his teeth as he remembered the rest of the story. Even though you taught him so much, he still understood so little back then.

"[Y / N] had feelings for Morax stronger than to any other being. But it was not his will that made the love strong." The storyteller continued, drawing the attention of more people. "For one-sided love is the strongest. For one-sided love hurts the most."

Goddess of dust, beautiful and gentle, good-hearted and wise. She was a weak god, just like you, maybe that was why Morax had paid more attention to her back then? Maybe he forgot that in fact your strenght was nothing, but his presence near you. He spent every free moment with the goddess. You dreamt that he could give you more attention, but apparently it was not given to you.

You taught him so much and all he offered you was jealousy. Jealousy was eating you from the inside as you saw the goddess slowly pull Morax towards her. It hurt your heart when you had the opportunity to meet a man less and less. But you yourself didn't have the heart to stop it all, because you knew that this goddess meant well for him.

You understood that it was easy to fall in love with someone like him.

"The years passed, the gods drifted apart. The young god was helping Rex Lapis to understand the newer and newer feelings that the goddess had helped him to experience this time."

You understood that you are not the only one who deserves this feeling to be returned.

Zhongli shook his head and opened his eyes, staring at his reflection in the already cold tea. If he knew you thought so.. If he knew he was slowly breaking your heart while spending time with the goddess, it would have all ended differently.

Anyway, it never came out of his mouth that they were 'just friends', it never came out of his mouth that they were something more..

Zhongli clenched his fist, remembering your last moments with him. He remembered your tears, your painful, but smiling face.

"Over time, his feelings did not diminish, but bloomed like the flower buds that he admired so much on his first visit to Liyue. The feeling became unbearable, breaking his heart, hurting him, making him even weaker. The young god then wanted the feeling of love to become something alien to him. "

He remembered you asking him to tell you one of the old stories that he once told you at the beginning of your friendship.

"Why do you suddenly want to hear it? I must say, it's not one of the most interesting ones.."

You laughed quietly, but apart from the laughter, a choked cough escaped your mouth, which you tried to hide with all your might.

"It just.. this story really brings me good memories.. remember? You told it to me when we were sitting under the same tree.. years ago.."

Morax closed his eyes and leaned against the tree, staring up at the sky.

"Well then.."

Zhongli stared at his hands placed on the table in front of him. If he himself lost his life, would he be able to meet you again?

"It was their last meeting. The young god left after him nothing but flowers, which slowly choked him from the inside. Rex Lapis never lost the abilities he had received from his friend. Rex Lapis never forgot, he carried his feelings to the end. One can only hope that after the death of the God of Geo, the two met again."

"Master Zhongli, right?" A soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, making him look up at the person that called his name. "Can I sit here?"

A joyful smile on the face of a stranger, unusually similar to the smile of a young god who left this world many years ago. The same gaze, that looked at his face with love and affection.

Zhongli nodded slightly, not taking his eyes away from the face of the newly met person.

"I see you here a lot, so I figured I'd introduce myself!" The male laughed, painting a smile on Zhongli's face as he reached towards the consultant. "[Y/N]."

"Maybe in another life, they'll be happy together'."

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theregoesmylurkerstatus · 3 years

Text

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e141 #c2e140 #ramblings #long post #first time i've used that tag but i figure people should be able to block this if they want to!#molly #kingsley #trent ikithon #the mighty nein

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ghostwise · 3 years

Text

not a homecoming, but something like it

There are two men arguing in front of her home.

This is a nuisance, but not an uncommon one. Her neighbors are colorful and loud, so she’s used to people being in her way. Gente estorbosa. Normally she would’ve simply pushed past them to get to her gate. However, these are no neighbors of hers, and that makes her hesitate.

The two men are not speaking Antivan, but she knows enough languages to follow along, even with the street’s lively background chatter.

“This is a mistake,” one of them says.

“At least it’ll be in character, then,” the other replies.

Adelmar shifts the grocery basket on her hip, waiting. They’ll move on their own soon enough, she suspects. Or perhaps they’ll notice her and confront her for eavesdropping. Oh! Then they’d get an earful.

“I am being serious. Why would she remember me, hm?”

“You remember her.”

“That doesn’t mean anything—”

“I think it means more than you expected it to. I think that’s why you’re trying to back out at the last minute.”

Adelmar is not sure what the men are arguing about. She’d assumed their relationship to be contentious but now the shorter of the two steps close to his companion, looping an arm around his waist in an unmistakably supportive and affectionate gesture.

“If you really think this is a mistake, then let’s go, vhenan.”

Neither of them moves.

Adelmar clears her throat. Fascinating as the conversation is, she doesn’t have all day. She has dinner to get started, and her basket is getting heavy.

They turn to look at her, and she drops everything.

Tinned coffee and spices, parcels of lamb, and oranges, which roll out across the cobbled street.

“¿Zevran?” Adelmar’s voice is uncertain. She never expected to speak that name again, but those eyes and that hair…

“Zevran… Chivito. No puedo creerlo.”

The man Zevran is with has begun to pick up her groceries, although somewhat haphazardly, dropping one orange for every three he grabs. “You see?” he calls out, darting after a can and swiping it before it gets rolled over by a cart. “I knew she’d recognize you!”

And Zevran, the little boy she’d read stories to in the brothel, the same brown eyes, just taller, smiles at her like she’s singing a song and he’s in her lap again.

The scene, with all its noise and shouting in the background, and fruit rolling this way and that, feels briefly absurd. Is she imagining this? She has to make sure. She needs to just look at him. Stepping across a gap of decades (but it’s really only a few feet), she reaches for Zevran. She touches his face. Notices his tattoo. Frowns.

“Ay,” she murmurs, removing her hand. It is him.

He bursts out laughing.

“Qué gusto me da verte.”

Close by and with the biggest smile, Hamal Mahariel watches, holding the basket with all the groceries Adelmar has dropped.

It had come up in conversation, casually, a few days earlier. They had been investigating a mark, and Zevran, in the midst of planning and preparing, mentioned, “You know, I grew up near here.”

Hamal blinked. Sometimes he suspected that growing up meant something different for Zevran than it did for him. Did he mean he’d become a Crow here, just thirteen when he’d first killed?

When asked to clarify Zevran gestured at the map before them. He pointed a finger just a few centimeters from their present location.

“Rialto. I lived there before the Crows… acquired me.”

“Mm,” Hamal said, mulling it over. It was always a careful balance on his part to gauge whether it was alright to press for information, or better to let Zevran share at his own pace. But he was curious. Zevran seldom spoke of his early years.

“I’d love to see it, if you’re up to visiting,” he said finally.

“Perhaps. If we have time.” Zevran smiled warmly at him. “But really, amor, the place means very little to me. I have no childhood home, unless you count the brothel my mother worked at. I had no family. No friends. None that would remember me, anyway.”

Then why bring it up? Hamal wondered.

“Consider it a sentimental request from your husband,” he said.

Zevran rolled up the map quietly. He planted a quick kiss on Hamal’s cheek.

“That, I can do.”

Adelmar’s home is small and welcoming, with a tiny patio separating the living area from the kitchen and washroom. Her husband is away for a few days. Her children, grown and gone. She has all the time in the world. She wants to hear everything.

“How did you find me?” she asks, looking at Zevran with wonder. A part of her still can’t believe he’s here.

“We happened to be in Rialto. I… asked around.”

“You went to El milagro,” Adelmar guesses.

Zevran gestures noncommittally.

“I haven’t been there for years and years. It feels like a lifetime ago. I’m surprised anyone remembered, or knew enough to send you my way,” she said. “I’m surprised you looked for me at all…”

Adelmar takes a deep breath. She’s stirring up memories—old thoughts and feelings, few of them pleasant, otherwise she would find it nostalgic.

Quickly, she catches herself and shakes off the gloom. She sets a hand on Zevran’s shoulder.

“But I’m glad you did. I really am so happy to see you. Look at how you’ve grown.”

“I wasn’t sure if I should come,” Zevran admits. “My husband convinced me. He’s nosy. It is why I keep him around.”

He chances a glance at Hamal, who is staying well out of the way. His Antivan still being rather rusty, he’s left Zevran and Adelmar to their conversation, and is currently helping chop vegetables for a stew.

“Well I’m glad for that,” Adelmar says, looking between the two men and beaming. Little Zevran—at her kitchen table and married no less!

“I never forgot you, Zevran,” she tells him. “If I had moved a little faster, saved a little more money, I would have left and brought you with me. You were so smart. You were always moving, running around, playing. In the end, it seems we both escaped to better circumstances,” she says finally, closing her eyes and sighing.

“Thank the Maker,” Zevran adds solemnly. Adelmar smiles, pleased at his manners.

“I’m so glad you’re doing well. So tell me,” she scoots closer and looks at him eagerly, “What sort of life did you have, after you were adopted?”

“Adopted?”

By the kitchen counter, Hamal catches the subtle edge in Zevran’s tone. He pauses, holding the knife in his hand as a lull falls over the kitchen table, but he doesn’t know enough Antivan to guess what’s happened.

What’s happened is this: Zevran and Adelmar came from the same place, and know enough about that life to instantly understand that a lie has been told.

“Oh,” Adelmar breathes after a moment. “You… you weren’t adopted.”

Zevran lets out a laugh. It’s his ‘stalling’ laugh, and now Hamal is looking over, arms crossed, searching his face for clues.

“I was not adopted,” he says. “But do not trouble yourself over that.” Then, smoothly redirecting, he gets up and locks eyes with Hamal.

“Shall I boil some water?” he asks, switching out of Antivan.

The tense moment is gone. Hamal nods, glancing at Adelmar. “I’ll start the fire.”

There’s a reason why the kitchen is kept apart from the rest of the house. While the soup simmers, they bring their visit to the adjacent patio, where a cool breeze offers relief. Tree branches from the outside—from a tamarind tree growing in the street—have stretched out over the wall and blessed Adelmar’s patio with shade and fruit.

Hamal makes a face when he tastes it. Glancing at Zevran, he holds his gaze and waits just long enough to make it clear he’s less than partial to the flavor.

“So delicious, vhenan.”

Zevran laughs. “Wait until you try it in drink form.”

“If you make it, I am sure I will enjoy it.”

Adelmar, knowing she’s touched upon a shared hurt between her and Zevran, makes up for it by talking about anything else. She is particularly interested in their wedding, and is scandalized when she hears they’ve only been married a few weeks.

“I missed it!” she exclaims.

“It was quite sudden, my friend,” Zevran says, as if there’d been a chance of her attending. “Spontaneous. Just the two of us. Very romantic.”

Hamal taps the handcrafted silver band around his ring finger. He gestures at Zevran. “Él lo hizo,” he says in the most accented Antivan ever. “Muy, muy… bello.”

Dinner is delicious. Despite some language barriers, their conversation is easy and effortless. It’s also, intentionally, vague. Adelmar learns that they met in Ferelden, that they’re on an important journey, and that the journey is a dangerous one.

Most importantly, she also learns that Zevran’s heart has survived its rocky passage into adulthood, whole, if not unscathed. The core of the little boy she’d known in the brothel is there, even if he himself does not realize it. It brings her immense comfort.

The visit ends all too quickly, and though she asks them to stay the night, she isn’t surprised when they decline.

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Hamal tells Zevran, who relays the message to Adelmar.

“You and Hamal are welcome, always,” Adelmar assures him. “Will you visit again?”

“If it is less dangerous,” Zevran says. “We were not followed here. But repeated visits might be difficult. Risky.”

“I understand. Not right away, then. When you can. We still have so much to talk about.”

“I would like that,” Zevran agrees.

They share one last hug, the three of them, and Adelmar watches them slip into the night.

“I need to brush up on my Antivan,” Hamal says. “But I enjoyed meeting her.”

“She liked you a lot,” Zevran says, smiling. Hamal laughs.

“You talked about me?”

“Of course. I had to show you off.” He winks at him. Then, with a soft intake of breath, Zevran looks away with his brow furrowed, the lines of his tattoo tense.

“… They told her I’d been adopted. All these years, and she had no idea. I’m almost sorry she had to find out otherwise.”

They’ve traveled for hours, leaving the city behind. Bright points of light shine overhead. The night sky of Antiva smells of jasmine and the distant sea.

“That’s awful,” Hamal says, looking at him.

“What a farce,” Zevran says bitterly. “Just like everything the Crows do. Operating in the open, but hidden from view. Buying children and lives while people look the other way.” Earnestly, his brown eyes black in the dark, he shakes his head. “It must end. It must.”

Hamal touches the lines of his tattoo, calloused fingers grounding him.

“Ma nuvenin, Zevran Arainai. It will.”

A short piece to introduce my OC, Adelmar Provencio. If you ever read my WIP For Suffering is Such a Part, you’ve met her through flashbacks already. While I love the idea of Zevran taking down the Crows alone, please consider, Zevran taking down the Crows with the support of a community, strengthened by the bonds he’s made in his life...

Adelmar plays a further role in the story, so hopefully I can write more for her!

#dragon age #zevran arainai #mahariel #zevran x warden #rinnywrites #oc: hamal mahariel #oc: adelmar provencio

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little-dragon-stories · 3 years

Text

It took me too much time

A friends to lover journey for Jiyong and Y/n. Here’s how it all began.

Warning: Smut, language, cuteness overload. Oooh, in the smut part, there is a bit of masochism (not to an extreme, it’s cute. Said in another way, she loves it when it hurts a bit), outdoor sex. Also, a big fear of storms, the mention of a fire.

W.C. 17796 (of pure hapiness... it made me very happy to write it <3)

Personal note: This is one of my fav gif of Ji. Let’s pretend that it’s him as he’s having a good time with his best friend, okay? Okay!

Sorry for that title and description, I didn’t know how to name it until now, LMAO.

Hopefully, you will love this one. It’s cute, sexy, funny. There is angst too.

Here it is

A double date, 5 years ago.

You were not sure if it was a good idea but you couldn’t refuse to go. It was a gift on a silver plate for your friend, more likely your favorite co-worker. Jiyong had agreed to go on a date with her but at one condition: it had to be a double date. Apparently, his friend Seunghyun was head over toes for you and was too shy to ask you out. It was the perfect occasion for Jiyong, maybe he would get some and his friend would have a chance to meet the girls he was silently in love with. Well, most precisely, to have a complete conversation instead of the formalities you exchanged when you served him at the café.

You were working in a café where the boys came to relax and eat after their practice At the time they came, the café was almost emptied from the patreons. They were the best friends in the world, bandmates working hard to pursue their dream in the music industry. They had made their debut a while ago and the reactions were enthusiastics. The press had good reviews of their albums and the fan base grew. They were starting big.

“It will be fun,” she said, “believe me, Seunghyun is such a cutie pie, a perfect match for you. Plus, you never went on a double date before so you can’t tell me that you don’t like it”.

“Okay but I’m only doing it for you. You owe me one girl...”

This is when you had met Seunghyun and Jiyong and got to have a real conversation with them. During the date, your friend was drooling in front of Jiyong, drinking each one of his words, a slanted smile across her face. It was cutely pathetic to witness.

Because you weren’t in a place in your life to have a boyfriend, you made it clear with Seunghyun that it would not be possible. Oh! perfect he was! He had a beautiful face, a sharp sense of humor, a deep voice and a tender smile. He was just magnificent. It could have worked, under different circumstances. It really could have.

When it was time to split and as much as they didn’t seem to fit together, Jiyong and your friend decided that they wanted to pursue the night together. Seunghyun had dropped you to your place, you exchanged phone numbers before you left his car. You didn’t fall for him the way he wanted but at least, he was a good person and you were willing to get to know him better, as a friend.

Even though the evening turned out to be a flop on the romantic level, something wonderful came of it. Your friendship with Jiyong and somehow with Seunghyun too. Just for that, the double date was more than worth it.

Present day

“Earth to the moon! 1.2, 1.2! There’s distortion on the line” Jiyong mocked.

“Sorry, I was thinking… Do you remember the first time we met?”

"Oooh! You mean the night I had the worst sex ever with that annoying bartender?”

“Damn boy, don’t be so mean. That poor girl did her best! She was probably so stressed to be in front of you. You were already a sex symbol back then!”

“True, I was undeniably sexy already” he said, shaking his butts but realizing what he just did, his cheeks turned pink.

Both of you laughed. You have lost your friendship with her the day Jiyong broke up with her, 2 weeks after the double date. Because you continued to talk to him, she cut you off of her life, telling you that you were not “on her side”. The last time you heard about her, she had divorced from her husband and was dating an old but rich CEO. She didn’t change at all, bitch was a sucker for money and status.

“Still Ji, you got to know me that night! You won in the long run, man!” you said, proudly flipping your hair.

“Aww! You’re so cute” he cooed, “True! What would I do without that adorable friend of mine that crashes my sofa each time they announce a storm” he said piling up the plates that had dried on the kitchen counter.

“Hey, it scares me okay?”

“Oh! I know you are scared but what the fuck am I suppose to do to protect you? I can’t stop the lightning from falling over your head!”

“YAH! You’re supposed to help me calm down! Not to scare the shit out of me!”

“Girl, you are so much cuter when you don’t have that badmouth!”

“I don’t want to be cute Ji! I just don’t want to die tonight! Did you see the sky? It’s gonna be hell of a storm, I’m telling you” you pointed to the window to mark your point.

“I hope we’ll survive!” he teased. He came closer to you and kissed your temple while one of his hands rested on your shoulder in a protective way. “At least you bought sushi! If we die tonight, it will be with a filled tummy. I have a new wine that will be perfect with it, too”.

“Ji, I don’t like it at all. I’m really scared. Don’t mock me”.

“I know, love! I’m just teasing you”.

Fun fact, you were not that scared of the storm anymore. Well, you were still scared but not petrified like you used to be. But because you had that habit of crashing his sofa and getting those nights in each time there was an appearance of a storm, you neglected to specify it to your friend.

“Anyway, I hope I didn’t ruin your plans. You can go, if you have a date you didn’t tell me about or something”.

“Nah, I have nothing to do that cannot be done from here, maybe just a little work. Plus, I have to protect you from the lightning with my super powers! What would you do without me?” he giggled.

You smiled at him tenderly. Jiyong was such a wonderful person. You were more than happy that you had the chance to call him your friend. He always had your back and you always had his. It was like that, you two against the world. For some reasons, each time something happens to one of you, the other would automatically feel it and call right away. It was like a premonition, a soulmate thing. It made you both smile and care for the other even more.

Of course, when one of you was in a relationship things got complicated. Your partners didn’t always understand that need you both have to call each other on a daily basis. “If she/he is so important to you, why don’t you marry her/him”? You both heard that often.

“Awww! You’re my personal superhero! I like that! By the way, before you arrived, I filled your fridge with side dishes and lunch boxes. I cooked for myself, so I brought you some”.

“You’re a bad liar, missy. You cooked for us, not for yourself only. You even bought us matching lunch boxes last month”

“True… I cooked for the both of us! And true, I bought it knowing it was matching, I couldn’t resist! Don’t make a big deal out of it, it was just too cute. Instead of a bff bracelet, we have bff matching lunch boxes” you exclaimed.

“Aaaaaw! Finally, you admit it was made to match! Thanks hun, I love the boxes and I love even more the food that you put in it”.

“My pleasure Mr Kwon! Let’s shower before it rains”

“ Why do you keep saying that?”

“It’s common sense and commun knowledge that you can’t shower or bathe when it rains in case there will be a storm, okay? I’ll go first”.

You ran to the bathroom before he had the time to argue. You knew what he was about to say anyway. He told you many times but you were still really scared of it. When you were a teenager, lightning crashed a utility pole near your house, causing an electrical fire. The strong winds had pushed the flames and your house was set on fire despite the heavy rain. It all happened while you were in the shower. That night, you were babysitting your little brother and you had to evacuate the house in a towel with him in your arms. The bad association of shower and strom had stuck in your head even though there was nothing dangerous for real. You were doing your best and you were fighting against your fear with all the courage that you had, but you still had to work more.

You turned the water off, got out of the luxurious shower and sighted with ease when your feet landed on the fluffy bath mat. Caressing the soft fabric with your toe, you wonder if you were walking on something that was worth more than the price of your car!

“Jiiiiii! Jiyong!" when he didn’t answer the tenth time you called out his name, you went out of the bathroom. You were wrapped in his bathrobe with your hair raised in a white towel “Where the hell are you?” you called out.

“YAH! Don’t swear love. It’s not cute” He was adding the dressing on top of a roasted veggies salad he just fixed for you. He didn’t like it but he knew it was your favorite. Therefore, he always kept the ingredients in his fridge to be able to serve you one. That and your favorite chocolate, your favorite champagne and wine, your favorite ice cream and so much more little things that you cherish.

“I don’t need to be cute because you already are whipped for me. Plus, I’m not your girl, so cute or not, you’re not supposed to care!”

“What are you saying? You’re the cutest girl of them all, why can’t you see it? You’re my sweet but bad mouthed girl”.

At that moment, he lifted his head and noticed how you were dressed. More likely, not dressed, in front of him. You were so cute with your concerned face, frowning with an obvious concern written on your face. He turned his head to look the other way around, covering his eyes with one hand and blushing shyly.

“I’m sorry I took your bathrobe but you were not answering me”.

“I didn’t hear you, what is it that you had to come here naked?”

“I’m not naked, relax for god’s sake! Plus a body is a body, we’re all constructed on the same pattern. So please, just calm down”.

“I can’t relax. You’re naked in front of me”

“Not naked, Sweet baby Jesus. You wanna see what naked really is?” You teased, toying with the knot of the dressing gown. Of course you would never open it and flash your naked body to him like that but he was annoying with his conservative ass and you felt a little bit provocative.

“Yah! Keep it for your man, you naughty!”

“Jesus Christ… I won’t undress, take it easy. Anyway, I’m done with the shower. I just wanted to tell you that it’s your turn. Go, before the storm starts, it’s so dark it will soon. I’ll get dressed in your room, okay?”.

Uncomfortable, he didn’t argue and ran into the shower.

He didn’t like to see you undressed, for some reasons. He was always telling you “love, can you buy longer skirts next time?”, “A bikini, are you kidding me? Why not a normal one piece swimsuit?”, “Please Y/n, don’t walk around the house in just a towel”. Jiyong had a vision of nudity that was beyond your comprehension. You never saw each other naked, that goes without saying. And of course, you never complied to his demands, telling him that you were not more or less dressed than other women of your age, which was true. You were not wearing revealing clothes anyway, he was just too old fashion. Maybe you were pushing it with the towel thing but hey! He was even worse than you, walking in his briefs way more often than you were ‘indecent’ yourself.

When he came out of the shower, you had comfortably draped your neck with a long scarf. You were wearing a Bigbang crop top with the inscription 'V.I.P for life" and short shorts that you wore to sleep only. A long cream cardigan buttoned up to your chin covered it all. You knew you wouldn’t need more clothes to stay warm, you had a big blanket resting on the armrest of his couch.

You finished assembling the plates with the sushi, served yourself an extra big portion of his salad and put it all on the coffee table in the living room. The wine and the bottle opener were waiting on the table with some nachos, salsa and candies for later. It was usually sitting on the floor with your back leaning against the sofa as you started the evening. Normally you weren't able to finish a movie because one or the other often fell asleep before the end. More likely, it was him that fell asleep. Then, you would always gently slide his head on a small cushion over your thighs and stroke his hair. At the end of the film, you never had the courage to wake him up, you knew that his sleep was precious and that he often suffered from insomnia. You let him in the same position and fell asleep with your head uncomfortably leaned against the couch. In the morning, he had moved and would be in a different position, on the floor. You didn’t know that he never realised the scalp and head massages. Tonight, he will notice though.

Jiyong had the bad idea to put a horror movie at night like this one, when you were already nervous. He didn’t think twice, as soon as the movie you wanted to watch for so long was out, he bought it for you. He was not a bit interested in it but he knew you would be happy.

“Tadam,” he cutely said when the title appeared on the screen.

“Oh, thanks Ji, you remembered”.

“Duh! Of course, you kept rambling about it for days” he teased.

“I’m happy, at least I’ll be scared for something else than the storm. It’s perfect”.

The movie had started and really soon, Jiyong knew that he wouldn’t make it through the end.

It was the thunder that awakened him. There was rain, lightning and strong winds outside. Despite the storm roaring, he felt enveloped in a big comforting bubble, cocooned under a blanket like a burrito. Above all, the familiar and comforting smell, your smell, that shielded him with security and pure happiness. He felt as if he was in a dream. He was too comfortable to open his eyes but he knew his head was on your thighs and it was your hands on his neck.

Your hands… on his neck!

You had slipped your fingers under his nape, cupping it, your thumbs resting gently on his throat. He felt vulnerable but yet, secure at the same time. He felt raw, in the most beautiful and pure way. He recognised your scent, your warmth, your breathing. What was he doing, lying on you like that? He wasn’t sure but he never felt like home more than right now. A little confused, he opened his eyes and analysed his surroundings.

You were concentrated on what was happening to the screen, softly murmuring advice to the characters in order to, as far as he could tell, not being murdered with a chainsaw.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid… Girl, at this point it will be natural selection… See, I told you! You deserved it, not gonna lie”

Jiyong smiled at your cuteness. This is when he felt your hands start to move on his neck.Your fingers were making a gentle downward pressure close to the base of the skull, you were stretching his neck muscles and it was orgasmic. He said nothing, did nothing and even stopped thinking. He refrained himself from groaning with pure happiness.

“See what you did there? How could you take such a dumb decision” still talking to the television. He wouldn’t be surprised if you start to throw food at the screen!

In this position, he could see you from a new angle. A “from above’ angle that gave him dirty thoughts. In a split second, that tender moment turned into a hunger. An intense impulse that he felt quite often recently. An unbearable desire combined with an impulse of the heart. It was a strange feeling, he had never felt like that before.

If he turned his face 90 degrees and went just a few centimeters down, he would be right at the good place to please you with his tongue and lips and fingers… Just the thought of it made blood boil.

“Woah Kwon Jiyong! Stop it!” he thought for himself. “Are you so horny that you will try to hit on your sweet best friend and ruin 5 years of a solid friendship? Damn it boy!” But also, dirty things happened between you, once. Maybe it was possible again… But was it what he wanted, a one shot deal? He was quite not sure about it.

Before he could stop his hormones from increasing, he felt his blood run directly to his crotch. He was so hard, it was almost as if all the blood contained in his body had decided to meet there. Your fingers continued to massage his neck, stretching the muscles, putting some pressure on different spots. You were completely unaware of his state, naive little creature that you were.

It could have been a perfect blissful moment but his fucking dick had interrupt. He knew it was unfair to stay like that, to let you massage him with the effect it had on the south direction his blood was taken. So, he took one of your hands and kissed your fingers before he sat up.

“Oooh, sleepy head. You’re awake?” you smiled at him with that beautiful smile of yours. You were not wearing any makeup, your hair was messy and your clothes didn’t match but you were just perfect like that. You had the most beautiful face he never saw in his life. How come he didn’t realise it sooner?.

“Hum mmm. You love the movie?” he placed a cushion on his middle to hide his erection.

“It’s good, yes! Are you okay? You’re pale!”

“Not surprising, the blood has left my head!”

“What? You have a headache?”

“Forget it. I’ll fresh up a bit. Be right back”

He used to good advantage the fact that your attention was again turned towards the screen. He got up in a hurry, hiding what he had to hide. He went to the bathroom and cleaned his face to cool down. Looking inside his briefs, he sighted!

“Fuck you Kwon Jiyong! Fuck! Fuck! What’s your problem? She’s your friend, dammit! She is just a sweet and cute girl. What’s happening to me recently? Why have I started to dream of her? Why did I start longing for her? What are those bubbly sensations that I feel when she’s coming home to me?”.

Recently, he had noticed that not only his body reactions were different but that his emotions had changed as well. That he was more and more happy to see you. That he had way more thoughts about you than he used to. To a point that he even refused a date with an interesting woman just to be able to call you on time, just because he had said “I’ll call you before 9”. He said it, he had to comply, right? What did you talk about? Sweet nothings but it was still a wonderful moment. He allowed himself a few moments for the blood gathered in his penis to turn back. He had a crazy hard time getting there.

Having the sensation that he was not feeling good, that something was not okay, you paused the movie and walked towards the bathroom.

“Do you need something Jiyong? You are really pale, I’m not joking. It seems like you have seen a ghost” you said as soon as he opened the door.

He was mad, but not at you. He was mad at himself for the reaction his body had. Confused too. He also knew that he couldn’t tell you what just happened because you would tease him for days. Or worse, you would exclaim a loud and clear disgusted “EEEW” to tease him. That he couldn’t support.

“Listen, I’m going to sleep early tonight. You can continue the movie, don’t wait for me”.

Without an explanation he left for his bedroom and closed the door. It was rude but it was a necessity.

You came back to the living room and sat on the couch. Your thighs were still mild with Jiyong’s warmth.

You couldn’t concentrate on the movie. What’s got into him? You stood up and walked towards his room, concerned. You just hope that he didn’t discover your ‘secret’.

3 years ago, on Christmas eve

After you finished hanging the garlands, you stepped back and enjoyed your hard work, satisfied. Yesterday, Jiyong announced that the band would not be able to fly to Korea for Christmas. Something happened with their schedule and unexpectedly they had to stay in Hong Kong a little longer before they would resume their world tour.

You didn’t want Jiyong and the boys to stay in their room and alone for Christmas. You had called Daesung’s girl of moment and Seunghyn’s sister and shared your plan with them. Youngbae’s girl had already joined him a couple of days ago. You would make a little reception for your boys. After all, no one should be alone on Christmas Eve. With the girls, you prepared it all.

“Can you taste the punch? I’m scared that I didn’t put enough rhum”

“I did taste it and it was perfect” you answered. “Seunghyun will add wine in his glass anyway, wait for it”

She laughed, it was exactly like his brother to do that.

“Oh, they’re coming. I’m so nervous” you told her.

In the plane for HongKong, you had decided to open up to Ji about your new feelings for him. Lately you had come to the conclusion that you were in love with him. What you thought was just a mere flirt at the beginning, soon turned out to be much more. It was love, with capital A. You had taken your time to analyse your feelings but it was kind of obvious. You were just not accepting the fact before, even though you were facing all the proof.

What is the first thing that comes to your mind in the morning? Jiyong.

Who do you want to hug when you feel the need to snuggle against someone? Ji.

Who’s hand do you want to hold, when you walk on the street or discover a new city? Yep! Jiyong again.

Who do you want to make love to, when you feel that need between your legs?

Who makes your heart skip a beat because of his cuteness?

Who makes you a horny mess when he smiles?

Who do you think will be the father of your children, when you imagine yourself nursing a baby?

Ji, Ji and Ji. Always him. He was your soulmate and the guardian of your heart. You couldn’t imagine a moment without him in your life. You wanted more. You wanted to take all of him. You had no choice but to tell him, you were not able to keep it for yourself anyway. He had even questioned you about the recent changes in your attitude. Soon, you won’t be able to hide it anymore, you rather should tell him while you were still having control over yourself. You were really scared of his possible rejection though. It was petrifying. But the possibility that maybe he shared the love was stronger and it made you so happy to imagine what you could become together. How your friendship would transform into love. Into love making. Into a deeper relationship.

It was decided. You will confess tonight, in the hotel room after the party. You’ll deal with the consequences later.

You were waiting for the boys in the suite that you had reserved. It was a simple room that the hotel rented for meetings or private events like tonight. Because it was Christmas, it was available and you didn’t have any trouble making a last minute reservation.

The door of the suite opened on Jiyong’s manager. He was aware of the little reception, you needed someone to drag the boys in. They entered the room one by one. You didn’t notice the happiness on their face when they discovered the 3 ladies waiting for them with food, alcohol and gifts, you were looking for Jiyong only. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found. Seunghun came and closed the door for more privacy, already having a glass of punch in hands.

“Wait, Ji has not arrived yet”.

His features went grave but his voice remained soft and calm. He seemed sad. He seemed to be pitying you too, his concerned eyes looking at you the same way you imagine he will be looking at his child when he’ll say “Santa Claus doesn’t exist for real”.

“He won’t be coming. He had other plans for tonight, something that popped up. I’m really sorry”

“Is he okay? Where is he?”

“This morning, he met a woman in the restaurant of the hotel. A cute damsel in distress. Well, one thing after another, it turned out that he invited her to the concert. And well… they left together, if you know what I mean”.

Your heart started to beat really fast. You didn’t like the turn of the conversation. Seunghyun’s sister covered her mouth with a hand, shocked, as she realized what her brother was telling you. It seemed that they knew about your feelings for Ji. Were you that obvious?

“Oooh… Maybe she can come here too” you said but it was absolutely not what you wanted.

“I guess they’re having sweet fucking sex” Dae laughed as he looked as his girlfriend, implying that it’s what he will have too, later!

“Woah… okay… okay”

You sat on the couch next to you and held your head. There is no way in hell that you will let your pain show in front of Jiyong’s friends. But there was also no way you could stop the tears from falling down your cheeks. Without a word, you left the suite for the room that you rented, in case Ji would reject you.

You were still crying, the next day when he had knocked on your door and entered your room, all excited and agitated like a puppy. More likely, like a man who hit the jackpot recently. He seemed so happy about the night he had spent, butterflies dancing in his stomach as he was telling you how cute she was. How he had spent the night of his life. How he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was so excited and centered towards his own happiness that he didn’t notice your red and bloody eyes.

“Ji, don’t stay with me then. Go meet her right now! I guess she feels the same way and you’ll take it where you left it!”

“But you travelled all the way here and prepared such a sweet party for me and the boys! I saw the pictures, it seemed so much fun”.

“Yah! I’d rather stay with your friends and mine, by the way, than staying a minute longer with you while you imagine yourself having sex with another woman”

“Another? It’s not like I had that many women either”

It was not the sense of your word ‘another’ but you didn’t precise it. The word had slipped your lips anyway.

“True, I’m sorry. Go, Ji! Live up for your dreams! Wout! Wout!” you encourage him, fist up in the air with the biggest smile that you could to hide your sadness. Your eyes were your pain untold and you wish you would tell him everything.

“Sure, hun?”

“Yes, sure thing. We’re taking the plane tomorrow. If I don’t see you by then, here’s my new year kiss” you said, planting a smack on his cheek. You needed to kiss him and hold him, just for a second. To steal him from her and keep him for yourself only, a short instant.

“Merry Christmas Ji. I love you so much” you whispered. Of course, he didn’t catch the extra meaning you had implied “And may the new year bring you only happy moments, you deserve it”.

“Aaaw, Merry Christmas my sweet girl. May the year bring you a man that will make you happy, for once. You were unlucky lately”.

You laughed ironically.

“Nah, I’ll be okay on my own for a while. Go now”. How could he have unnoticed that you were in pure agony? That your heart had been pierced with a thousand arrows? He was always so attentive normally. That was a good thing though, you prefer him to be happy with her than unhappy with you.

“Thanks, you’re the best friend ever, so understanding. I’ll tell you everything in detail later”.

“... Have fun”

He left in a hurry without a single look back and it broke what remained strong inside of you. You crumbled on the ground, unable to support your own body weight any longer. You never thought you could be rejected by him without having a single chance to say a word. You never thought you would be broken like that. You will need a lot of courage to be able to face him again. But also, it would be worse if he disappeared from your life. There was no perfect situation here, either way you were losing a part of yourself.

“That man is so fucking stupid” you heard Seunghyun tell his sister by the door Jiyong had left open a moment ago. . “How could he do that? Is he blind?"

You closed the door, you didn’t want to hear more. You cried all day and night, curled up in the bed. You didn’t see Jiyong afterwards, while you were in Hong Kong. He didn’t come back from his cloud, therefore he didn’t come back to you.

He had stayed in a relationship with her for a whole year. The exact time it took you to get over him. Or did you really?

Present day

You tiptoed your way to his bed and benched in front of him. His eyes were closed, he seemed to be asleep already. In his sleeping state, he was frowning, this was unusual.

He was not but he didn’t say a word, still mad and shocked. He didn’t know how to deal with it, his sudden desire for you. He couldn’t just say “let’s fuck” and then pretend like nothing happened afterward, your friendship was on the line. The only time that something happened between you, something sexual, there was a context. And you didn’t ‘really’ do something together anyway. How can’t he forget about it? How can’t he put it aside and move on? Why was he trying to relive this with his partners afterward? But of course, it was impossible, they were just not you. He realised it now! If it was not that good with them, it’s because they were simply not the good person. They were not you.

“Ji, are you okay?” he heard you ask with worry.

No answer.

You placed a hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever. Satisfied by his body temperature, you retracted your hand with much concern. You knew him way too much to buy his sleeping state.

“Ji, I’m scared, you didn’t seem well tonight, you were really pale. I will sleep by your side to check on you, do you mind? Like we did before, when we checked on my niece. Okay? I can’t guarantee that I’ll be as good as you were though.”

No answer.

He clearly didn’t want to talk to you. Or was he sick and had passed away?

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I’ll squat the couch or the bed in the guest room. But the couch is more comfy. Would you prefer if I leave your house? The temperature is still bad outside but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me”

“Y/n, can you jump on the bed and shut the hell up so I can go back to sleep”? his tone was harsh.

Shocked, not sure how to take it, you did as he said and waited there, looking at the ceiling. You were cold but didn’t want to move or even less, to slide yourself under the comforter where he seemed so comfortable and warm. He was facing the other side and you could almost hear him thinking. The cat came in the bed and sat on his master’s pillow. Jiyong sighted, chased A-Ye and turned on his back. He didn’t say a word, didn’t look at you, didn’t move a single muscle afterwards.

It’s his sweet giggle that woke you up in the middle of the night. You had fallen asleep but obviously, he didn’t. From the lamp sitting on the bedside table emanated a warm and felted light. Jiyong was eating ramyeons while watching something on his cell. Confused, you sat up and rubbed your eyes.

“You seem better, it’s a relief”.

“I just realised something. Remember the other day when I joked about your google research?”

“YAH! How many times do I have to tell you, I did NOT search for blowjobs instructions”.

“I know now!” he laughed.

What happened was that, about 2 months ago, you made a google research on your laptop while you were waiting for him at his studio. You had written “How to give a good head massage” but the research bubble showed everything but the important last word. The word that changed the meaning of the whole sentence.

He didn’t want to believe you even when you showed him the page with explicit pictures of the head massage popping from the screen. He thought that you had just opened it fast, to save the appearances. He had teased you for days with that, mocking you gently.

“I told you that I wanted to use a new technique when I massage your head. You didn’t believe me”.

“Because I didn’t know you were massaging my head. Now, I get it”.

“Why didn’t you believe me?”.

“Why didn’t you massage my head when I’m awake?”

“I don’t know”

“I don’t know either”

Your eyes met and you both laughed out loud. You were happy to have your friend back, at least momentary. You still didn’t know what happened earlier.

“Will you stop mocking me with the blowjob thing, now?”.

“Yes, I already stopped when I noticed that you were mad for real… Sorry hun, I mocked you. I should have known better”.

“Excuses accepted. Now, let’s forget about it… please”.

He didn’t talk for a minute, you were both lost in your thoughts. You grabbed the chopsticks he was holding and swallowed a large portion of ramyeon, hungry.

“Ji”

“Hum?”

“Why were you mad at me tonight?”

“I was not mad at you at all, I was mad at myself”.

“Why though?”

“I’d rather not talk about it”.

“Okay then, but I’m here if you want to”.

“I know... Now go back to sleep and stop eating my ramyeons”.

“Nah, feed me more. I’m starving. AAAAAH” You opened your mouth for him to feed you one bite. He did and gave you his bowl and chopsticks without further discussion. He had decided to let you eat it all anyway.

“Here, take it”

“Mmmm, it’s delicious. Thanks Ji”

He looked at you closing your eyes to savor the noodles, not a single bit conscious that it would break him. He was so naive. When he heard the little moan that escaped your lips after you took a bite, he remembered everything you had said when you were talking about the ‘not blowjob’ research.

“You know, I talk with my partners, it’s their ‘instructions’ that I follow, not general tips made for a general audience on the internet. I adjust with their reactions too. Nobody loves it the exact same way”.

“Ji, for god’s sake! I told you that yes, I searched for that a long time ago, when I was young. From that, I improved my technique and I didn’t feel the need to search again. I wouldn’t be shy to tell you if I would REALLY have searched for it”.

and later that night...

“Please don’t believe that I’m a pro either, I’m not that good! It’s just that I really didn’t search. You know what, now that I think about it, I should search for it. We never know, maybe I could still improve” with a blink.

Eating your ramyeons with appetite, you were unaware of the thoughts spinning in his head. You didn’t know that your relation was about to take a complete new turn. That the image he had in his mind right was nothing but pure. You were also really naive.

2 years ago or the ocean event

Jiyong had decided to bring you to Hawaii like this, on the spur of the moment and for no actual good reason. Dae and his current conquest joined your improvised journey and the four of you had flight to the paradisiac island for a whole week of pure bliss.

You closed the door of your room and went down to meet Ji. He texted you that he was already down there, ready for the beach like you had planned before you split last night after you took a walk in the streets with the natives.

“Hun, were you able to sleep last night?'' he asked, rubbing his beautiful sleepy eyes when you met in the lobby. You walked outside and sat on a bench near the entrance to apply the sunscreen he handed you. Of course, he knew that you would have forgotten yours.

“Nope, there were people banging in the wall and screaming like if they were in distress or something. Did you hear that? Why did she have to yell like that? I would have shove my dick in her mouth if I was her partner, at least she would have shut the fuck up. It was so fake!”

“Woah! You’re violent! Good thing that you don’t have a dick. Don’t judge, you were not there. It’s just her way of expressing her pleasure, chill hun! No one is hurt”.

“Her pleasure? For 4 hours straight like that, no change in the pace! Come on Ji, you know better! She yelled all night long, how could that even be possible? No rupture in the tempo… No break, no slowing down, no changes in the play, nothing. It was fake, I’m telling you. Maybe they were filming porn…”

He laughed, you continued.

“In a way or another, she was annoying. But the bitch got fucked and not me. I guess that’s the reason why I’m so pissed” you added. Seeing his eyes widened, you smiled.

“What? I have needs too”

“I don’t want to know” he giggled, placing his hands over his ears. At this moment, Daesung arrived and sat between you and Ji. Looking at one after the other, seemingly in shock.

“Did you hear it?”

“We did” you answered, ready to complain with him.

“It was sooo hot, right? Woah! It gave me and Shirl a lot of audio stimulations. It was nice, we kind of followed their rhythm.” he seemed shocked but pleased at the same time. Without another word, he stood up and left abruptly. You watched him leave in silence.

“Ji, I hate all the couples in the world. All of them”.

“Someone is not in a good mood today. When is the last time you got laid, I can’t pinpoint it”

“Because I never tell you when I do, we don’t talk about stuff like that… but it was a long time. Maybe last year or something”

You were in a relationship with a beautiful man when you had realised that you were in love with Jiyong last year. You were still trying to forget Jiyong, compelling yourself to stop loving him. It was impossible.

“Damn… it’s been a long time. So, your last boyfriend then”.

“Yep… I won’t ask you since you were in a relationship till recently”

“True, she was the last one. 2 months is long... Wait, where are you going???”

“I’m going to calm my hormones in the ocean. I’m suddenly horny and need a distraction. Hopefully the water will be cold enough”

“I’ll go with you, I need it too”

You entered the water running and laughing like kids. You felt light, like there was nothing going wrong in your life or in the entire world. You felt detached from reality but in a good way. The flowing of the tide was languorous, the ocean was forging its own sea-song. The freshness of the water was invigorating. For at least an hour, you and Jiyong had bickered and played around, alone in your own little universe. You threw water at each other’s face, tried to immerse the other into the water, tried to surf on a cheap plastic plank that was abandoned on the shore, falling on each attempt and laughing like you didn’t have the chance to, lately. The only time you were out of the water was to take a sip of your drink that Daesung was keeping safe for you while sunbathing with Shirlee. It wasn’t quite a good idea to drink that much alcohol when horny … not a good idea at all.

“Y/n… It didn’t work!” Jiyong said sheepishly.

“I mean it’s water, it’s slippery… How could it worked” you answered, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Water turns you on?”

“Damn… not the water itself. But a wet body against another wet body… I mean… Oh, shit! I didn’t mean that you turned me on, it’s not like that. It just reminded me of, you know… things I did in the past”

It was a big fat lie. You never had sex in the water. But you won’t tell him that his hot and wet skin against yours made you even more needy than you were before. That the water dripping from his bang was sexy. That his muscular arms, shoulders and those damn abs were giving you bad thoughts. You couldn’t tell him anything like that.

“What are we gonna do about it?”

“I won’t do anything, what do you mean?”

“Well… maybe if we turn our back on each other, we can, you know… relieve ourselves. Together, doing our own little things but not... ”

“I got it Ji, no need to say more…”

Was it alcohol? The burning sun? His cute and so sexy smirk? For a moment, you played with the idea. Jiyong had reserved the most private resort he could find in the country and the beach was almost empty. You could see some people away but no one close enough to see anything that you were doing on the beach even less in the water. Some staff members were walking around, doing their own little things. No one cared about what you were doing. Beside, the water was deep blue and it was impossible to see through it. You could easily jerk yourself off under the depth water and no one would notice.

“But if we turn around, Daesung will get suspicious, he will think we fight and start asking questions. He’s watching over us, you know”.

“Yes… But I can’t get out of the water hun, my cock refused to calm down”.

“You have a big problem, man. I’m so sorry for you” you mocked.

“You’re not helping at all” he was almost annoyed. You understood how he felt, after all, you were horny too. You were both adults, there must be a solution. After all, he proposed something interesting.

“Ji, you know, your hands are in the water right now and I see nothing. Go a little deeper, we won’t notice your arms and shoulders. Turn the other way around, that way you won’t see me while you… you know. I won’t see anything for sure. Don’t worry. Do what you have to do, I won’t look”

“Are you serious? What about you?”

“I’ll be just fine, no worry. I can wait for when I’m in my room”.

“Sure? Ok, you’re amazing!” he smiled widely.

You didn’t know it but as soon as he turned around, he was not so into it anymore. Maybe it was the thought of doing it with someone that was so exciting. A cute and stunning lady… so sexy in her bikini.

You had turned around to let him do his thing but horny you were too. Not to mention, Jiyong, the man you loved in silence for a complete year was about to stroke himself right now, you won’t miss it so you swan towards him. He was in a deep zone, but still able to touch the ground unlike you. You arrived from behind and hugged him tightly, your arms snaked around his neck, your knees keeping balance on each side of his hips, carefully not circling him.

“Is it good?” you murmured.

“What are you doing?”

“Joining the party” You didn’t know, but there was no party so far. His penis had even softened back to its almost normal size.

“Ooooh….”

Where Jiyong was standing you couldn’t reach the bottom, the water level reached your mouth, you tried and you choke on the salted water. You had to keep a hand on him.

“Hun, stay where you are, let’s do it together, but not together. Is it okay with you?”

“Oh Jiiii… I’ve already started” you purred.

“But you’re holding me…”

“Yes, I’m holding you. I won’t drown for an orgasm”.

“Fair enough… I shall get going too, then”

He was clearly not as cocky as he was 2 minutes ago. You figured that you surprised him with your initiative.

“If you prefer, I’ll leave you alone, no worry”.

“You know, I have a voyeur side inside of me, I love this idea too much to let you go”

“Good, cause I’m a tiny bit of an exhibisionnist… well, a big bit finally” you cutely added, knowing it was not an actual word.

He smiled and looked at you above his shoulder, shocked but excited to discover that spicy side of yours.

“Perfect match then” he stated.

“Turn your face around, put your hand on your dick and stroke yourself… let me do my thing…” you palmed his neck and guided his face the other way around so he would be looking at the ocean instead at you, holding onto his back like a baby koala.

“Lord, help me cause I’m a sinner”

He attentively tried to catch a hint on what was happening on his back. You were holding onto his shoulder with one hand and he didn’t see anything, didn’t feel anything. You were cautious not to make any wave. He wanted more visuals, not that he needed it. Just to add some zest to the experience.

“Are you doing it?” The tone of his voice, his signature soft voice, was the most comforting and exciting thing at the same time. He had the cutest and the sexiest tone ever.

“Ji, shut the fuck up”, you said a little short of breathe. So, you had started, he thought.

“Come on, give me something, love. Are you really masturbating?”

You stopped and this is when he noticed the difference of motion in his back, the difference of pressure your knees applied on his hips in order to stay still despite the waves. Suddenly, it was quieter, this is how he knew that indeed, you were doing it subtly.

“You want me to leave you alone?”

He turned around abruptly. Now facing you, the lust in his dark chocolate eyes was sparkling. A sight that you imagined so often, lightning up his beautiful features for your eyes only to see. Not to mention the sunlight gently caressing his skin. His eyes half closed because of the sun. His damped messy hair carelessly falling on his forehead and temples. This vision itself was enough for your heart to melt and your core to liquefy.

“Y/n, I don’t want you to leave. It’s just that I didn’t know if you were doing it for real, I want, I don’t know… I would like...”

“Don’t hold back, tell me exactly what you want, cause I’m horny here and I need to do something about it” you told him as you touched your thigh, a soft caress along your skin, looking straight into his eyes. You didn’t begin but you knew that the moment to come will be pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free.

He looked at the movement of your shoulder, he couldn’t see below that level. He wished he had chosen a turquoise and clear sea to be able to see everything that was happening under.

“I’m not sure of what I can ask in this kind of situation”

“Just if you still really want to, think of us as partners in crime. We’re 2 needy adults that consent to masturbate side by side. We won’t touch each other, just be together while we’re both having fun with ourselves like you just suggested. Let’s say that everything that happens in the ocean, stays here in the ocean. We won’t remember it once we reach the shore and we’ll never talk about it anymore. Deal?”

“You’re wonderful. Deal”

“Now… close your eyes and touch yourself”.

Strangely, you were not uncomfortable with the situation. You knew that no matter what happened, you would be safe and respected. He would never mock you or judge you. You were free to be and act in complete harmony with your desires, without holding anything back. It was the perfect foundation for a meaningful dirty play. In that moment, your chemistry became an ever-bright flame.

He moved his hand down but refused to look anywhere but straight to your eyes. He never saw that luxurious expression on your face, never heard that carnal voice, almost too low to be heard. He needed to hear you moan. Were you the type to hold back because too shy to be heard? He doubts that, now. He wonders if you were more of a high-pitched sounds or a guttural moaner. Suddenly, it was the most important question to be answered.

“What are you doing?” This is when the now ‘face to face’ thing became more interactive. His piercing gaze was on you, it’s you that he was looking at, no one else.

You smirked. He wanted to play that game, well you were hell of a player!

“You wanna know how I touch myself?” your voice was a low murmur, it sent shivers down his spine.

“Yes, tell me…” he gulped, unable to guess what was ‘really’ happening under the blue sea. How do you like to be caressed? What makes you cum?

“Right now, I’m taking it really slow and superficial…”

You paused to breathe. For obvious reasons, the oxygen demand in your cells has increased with all the symptoms that comes with it: fast heartbeat, short breath, your senses on red alert.

“I’m too excited, the second I touch my clit or slide a finger in, I will cum. I love that you’re asking me. It’s fucking hot” you miraculously were able to say.

“Your answer is hotter, believe me. You look really beautiful like that… So sexy… tell me in detail everything that you’re doing”.

“I’m pinching my clit, I need to calm down... now squeezing it between my palms, it’s good” you moan softly. After a moment you shivered and it seemed that you stopped touching yourself, taking your hand out of the water to show him.

“You were about to cum?” he smirked

“Fuck yes”.

“You love to touch yourself with me? You love that I look at you pleasuring yourself?”

You nodded, nothing else needed to be said. He grabbed your free hand, your right one, and nibbled every single fingertips, sucking gently.

“It doesn’t taste anything but salt, damn it!”

His longing eyes never left yours. Just that, him desiring you, dirty talking to you, was sending you over the moon. He gently guided your hand in front of your core and his came back where it was: on your hip.

“Jiii… now, I’m scratching it all with my nails, it hurts and it’s fun at the same time… ”

“YOU WHAT? Woah! You love when it’s painful?” he exclaimed, shocked. You were not exactly how he imagined you would be, sexually speaking. To be honest, he thought you were a sweet vanilla girl, one that prefers convenient sex more. That frosted side that he was discovering, pleased him a lot.

“I love it when it hurts a little bit… I love when it burns… I love when it’s sucked hard. What are you doing?” you breathe slowly between each affirmation.

“Looking at you only, at the moment… I think I will cum in my pants just like that! Hands free orgasm! I bet your clit is swollen right now...”

“Let me see… oooh yes... It’s really sensitive. I’m tracing small lines up and down, it feels good. I won’t last long… I let my nail trails his way up… omph”

Your clit was indeed overflowing with blood. Knowing that Jiyong was watching made you more sensitive than you ever was before. Now that it has started, there was no way out of the game. You couldn't move away from his gaze even if you tried, like he’s eyes have short circuited your mind in the best possible way.

“So beautiful... Do you imagine your fingers to be someone else?”

“Nah! I’m right here with you, it’s already really arousing”

Of course, you won’t tell him that it’s his fingers that you imagine as you rubbed smooth circles across your clit.

“Ji… It’s good… Now, I slide 3 fingers in… it’s so good… Jiii… I’m gonna cum… Oh lord… I knew I wouldn’t last”

“I can see it… I feel your hips love… I bet you’re thrusting to meet your fingers, right? … you’re so hot”

You closed your eyes as you locked your hips against your hand, hitting your spot right away. With Jiyong’s obvious enjoyment, the ultimate pleasure hit you. You quivered erratically and in the process you pressed yourself against him. His wet and slippery chest against yours was enough material for your next 5000 lonely nights. When your mouth founded his shoulder, you sank your teeth onto the trapeze muscle and took a big bite of him. You needed it to suppress your moans. He continued to encourage you, despite the pain.

“Don’t stop now, I’m sure you can surf on it a little longer… that’s it love… Softs movements this time, give yourself some tenderness, my wild flower… softer with your teeth too, please” he asked, cutely and you released some pressure on your teeth but kept your mouth there. “That’s it, moan for me… you make the hottest sounds I’ve ever heard”.

He was right, the orgasm lasted for a little while. Jiyong was holding you firmly against him, his head tilted against yours as he whispered sweet dirty words.You stopped the motion of your hand and stayed like that, holding onto him tightly. Pressing your whole self against his perfectly sculpted body. His soft skin. His melodic speaking voice. You needed time to calm your breath and heartbeat. It was a one shot deal, you decided that you will take the best out of it for the time it lasts. Therefore, you snaked your arms around his neck, cautious not to touch his middle where his length was probably throbbing. The thought of it made you almost cum again, it certainly didn’t calm the fire that was still burning. Exhausted and feeling really brave, you’ll deal with the consequences later, your nose found the crook of his neck and you nuzzled against his watered and sun warmed skin, drops falling down on both of you from his damped and sexy hair. This intimate and loving contact was risky for your heart but his neck was so prettily offered, you couldn’t resist. It was hard not to nibble onto him. To kiss him. To taste him. To tell him that you love him.

You breathed slowly in his warmth for a moment, your body still trembling softly from the powerful orgasm you just had but mostly because of the proximity with him. The sensation of his strong arm holding your laps against his side while the other rested on the curve of your back, it was overwhelming.

“Your turn, now!” he needed his relief too, you hoped that you will be as hot for him as he was for you.

“Yes love, but can I do something first? You don’t have to say yes. I would like...”

“Don’t ask my permission, it’s our moment and I doubt that you want to do something that will harm me. Just do it”

He smirked, a fucking smirk that would have put you on your knees. A smirk that was never directed to you before. His hungry eyes were half closed but his gaze remained sharp. He was perfect. You felt his hands slide under your arms and played with the bikini top on your back.

“I want to feel you against me, may I?”

“Help yourself” you smiled, letting him play with the fabric of your top. It was so tiny, his fingers were gracing your skin and just that little contact was electrifying.

“What’s going on Ji? Is there a problem?” You teased as you joined your hands on the back of his neck, forearms on his shoulders.

“Hun, where is the tie?”

It was your turn to smirk. He frowned, scrutinizing your face. You were preparing something, it was obvious.

“Remember my bikini? The knot under my boobs is what you’re looking for”.

“Oh my god! Like a bow on a gift! Isn’t easy to pull on a string and strip your boobs naked”

“Han, han!” you purred, with a tone that implied that you didn’t mind the strip tease. You teasingly stroked his calf with your foot. “So, what are you gonna do about it? If you want to feel my chest against yours, you know what you have to do”, you said, defying him.

“Are you challenging me?” he asked as his hands found your neck. His thumb traced a line down your throat and went lower to the swell of your breast. A soft and light caress, almost too soft to be felt. He wanted to tease you too, you were way too cocky and he needed to show you how he too, could be in control.

“Who’s challenging who now? You’d like me to pinch those nipples, right? To rub them between my fingers”

He said as he brought both hands in front of your boobs as if he wanted to grab them. But he never touched you. He stayed close enough for you to feel his warmth, feel a little contact here and there throughout the thin fabric, but never touching you for real.

“I’m sure you have a sensitive breast and that you are screaming from the inside right now. You would like to be touched so badly. Am I right?”

“...” excited at the idea, you could do nothing but grasp.

“Answer me, love”

“Yes, I would love your hands on my breast” you gulped.

“Well, too bad, you set the no touching rule” he winked “But I’ll free them and you’ll soon feel me, don’t worry”. It was ‘his turn’ and yet, you felt the center of the attention. The tables had to turn.

His fingers slid down your breastbone, caressing your skin. There, he was touching you for real and it put you on fire again. He knew what he was doing, he noticed your shivers. When he found the bow, tied just under the swelling of your breasts, he had fun with the fabric before tearing the cords apart. Very slowly he pushed your bikini top to the side, his eyes on yours.

“So sensitive”

“Remember Ji, it’s no touching and no looking.”

“You’ll be the end of me, you little brat”

He wasted no more time. With one hand, he grabbed you by the hip and dragged you closer. He turned his feet to the side to move his pelvis away from you and surrendered completely to what was to follow.

“Can I guide you?” You asked timidly.

“Yes, I’ve never tried that… Go ahead, be my hand”.

It was true. He had met willing women before but never playful the way you were. You were a mixture of sexy, dominant, cute and submissive. You loved it rough too, it seemed, even though what you were doing was quite soft. A perfect match for him.

“You’ll do exactly what I tell you to do. Okay?”

“Of course”

“Good… Let’s go… are you touching yourself right now?”

He showed you his free hand, the one not holding you.

“Let’s switch hands. I want you to hold your dick with your left…”

“YAH! Why my left? It’s not the good hand” he interrupted

“Oh, I know that” you winked “Go, now. Good!”

He sulked in annoyance but was ready to follow your lead nevertheless so he had switched arms. His right one was holding you against him, on that he won’t compromise.

“Very good Ji, let’s run your thumb on the tip slowly. Is it good?”

“Don’t apply much pressure on your shaft, keep your hand loose around it. We’re taking it slow!”

“I feel so vulnerable and so powerful at the same time, it’s ecstatic… I want more, give me more”

“ Shhhhh, one thing at the time. Don’t go too hard on it ok, gentle touch. Grab the skin between your penis and balls. Squeeze gently. Use your fingertips, it’s good, I see you love it. Palm it gently while your fingers tickle your balls… good… your face is telling me that we are doing a good job” he had closed his eyes shut. His breathing increased already.

“I need more”

“You’ll have more, shut it. Don’t hold your moans back though, ok? I want to hear your pleasure. Not too loud… that’s it, in my ear”.

“Baby can I stroke myself?”

“No, you can’t! Let go of me, I’ll stay in place no worry, look I’m rubbing myself against you… Good… Put your penis between your palms and roll your hands in opposite directions. If you like when it hurts, put more pressure, roll… roll… roll…”

His face twisted in pleasure, moans slipping from his lips.

“Never done that to my dick, it feels good. Is this how you give a handjob?”

“I might do it, yes”

“mmmm, it feels so good baby… aaah”

You let him proceed and before you noticed a sign of impatience, you continued.

“Now, if you’ve never touched yourself like that, or never been touched like that, it might seem surprising. But obey, it will be good”

Curious, he opened his eyes and looked at you smirking.

“Okay…”

“Take your glands between your thumb and index and squeeze very geltly. Apply this pressure all around the circumference. Don’t brush your fingers together, it will hurt. Just put pressure. Squeeze... Are you there? Keep your fingers smooth but be firm on the grip. Press firmly.”

“It feels so good… aaah”

“Apply as much pressure as you can take. It has to be a little painful, but just a little Ji, we want it to be fun”.

The only sounds slipping from his lips were soft moans. He seemed to enjoy the touch. Maybe you surprised him. You hope you did.

“Open your eyes Ji. I want you to know that it’s with me that you are jerking off with. Keep those eyes on me”.

“Of course it’s you… you’re the only one here with me”

“I certainly hope so. Now, circle the base of your cock with your thumb and one finger, only one. Don’t put too much pressure. Are you doing it?”

“Yes…”

“Move your hips back-and-forth. Fuck your own hand slowly, gently… Good job! It’s increasing, isn't it?”

“Yes, I could cum like that”

“Then loosen your fingers, loosen it right now!”

“I fucking hate you” he was frustrated but he obeyed nevertheless.

“I know you do, I know… I’m so mean when you were so good for me” you took your sweetest voice, your innocent voice. One that he didn’t know you had.

“Keep your fingers loose and pump now, real slow. How does it feel?

“Way too good… but it’s not my hand”

“Ooooh, may I ask?”

“Yours” he said, looking straight into your eyes, waiting for your reaction. You blush, shy.

“Does my hand feel good, around your cock?” you were already back to the play.

“It feels better than mine...” he murmured.

“Amazing, now, put more pressure around your cock and go just a little faster with those hips. Fuck yourself in my hand”

He moaned, sweet sounds falling from his lips. You pressed yourself against him, your hard nipples caressing him as you both breathed in and out slowly.

“You love it, when I guide you?” you whispered in his ear.

“mmm” he moaned

“Use your words”

His eyes started to roll back, aroused. It was beautiful to witness. He was weak on his legs, holding still with a solid grip on your hip.

“I love when you guide me”.

“I can see that you do. Let go of your cock and play with your balls a bit. Squeeze them. Feel their weight”

“Jesus Christ… I was about to cum

“Oh, I know” you teased murmured in his ear. “But I’m not ready to let you just yet. Are you playing with your balls?”

“Hum, hum...I never loved to play with my own balls before today…”

“Can you use both hands? Yes? okay. Grab your cock with your fist and stroke not so gently while the other hand squeeze your balls… good, you’re doing good… Stroke again slowly but with a strong grip. Ji, slow down, I see you are cheating. Good… Twist your shaft when you come up, slowly, does it feel good?” His grin told you that he really enjoyed it.

“Yes…. ah… Y/n, you’re evilish”

His sweet sounds, his voice that you always found so soothing, was now turning you on, it lit a fire between your legs. Again.

“Faster baby, faster…. Now stop”

“What? No…I can’t stop” he continued to stroke, you could tell by the movement of his shoulder.

“No?”

“Y/n… I’m… aaaah… Argh” he could barely stay on his feet while he ejaculated in a violent burst, screaming your name out loud.

“ARE YOU GUYS OKAY”? You heard Daesung asked from the beach.

“DON’T WORRY DAE, HE WALKED ON A SHELL” you answered, your eyes on Ji.

The sight of him as he reached his orgasm was the definition of beauty and hotness. He was perfect and so was the moment. His head tilted to the side and his mouth twisted open, he was in a blissful agony.

“aaah… aaaah”

“Don’t you dare stop moving your hand, you have more juices, I’m sure of it. Feel me against you, imagine it’s my hand, mouth, core… Whatever you prefer but keep going. I want you to empty that load… Stroke yourself… continue”

One last softer moan, a great final thrill and he was done. You felt his whole body relax against yours and his face fell on your shoulder, panting. He kissed it gently as soon as his lips landed on your skin. He was breathing heavily in your ear, the most endearing melody of them all. Combined with the murmur of the waves, it couldn’t be more perfect.

You were not sure if your heart would survive this. Not sure at all that you will be okay with him, having a girlfriend later, now that you know how he sounds like when he was having sex. How he feels. How he looks. How playful he was. You don’t think that you will be able to breathe, imagining him with another woman. Making love to her… No, you don’t have the right to think like that… You were just a lost case.

You moved away from him and gave him your most reassuring smile. He cannot know what’s got into your mind right now. That suddenly, instead of letting go of him, you would do the exact contrary. You would snuggle yourself against him and stay there forever and ever, in the comfort of his arms.

“Thank you, it was… I have no words. And we didn’t even touch!”

“I know, right?”

“Will you be okay with it? At home, I mean”.

“Absolutely” you lied “You?”

“Okay, good then. Good. Me too.” He showed no signs that it could be otherwise.

Both amazed by what just happened, you walk away from each other. Reality was hitting you both and you didn’t seem to want that moment to end. Neither of you. But you had to go back to your reality now.

You wanted to fix your bikini top but he stopped you, grabbing your hand between his, keeping them against his chest.

“Let me do it, hun. With the non touching thing and in the middle of the ocean, the aftercare are limited. At least, let me put it back in place for you”.

You nodded, he continued.

“You’re okay? Are you always that rough with yourself?” he asked as you placed the triangle back in place, this you won’t let him do. You felt no judgement in his tone though, just curiosity.

“I was not rough today, Ji. I even showed you my vanilla side”.

“What we did was soft, I agree. But the way you caress yourself, and me indirectly, it was not the softest touch. I didn’t know you had that in you. It was nice, I loved it”.

“Agreed, it was really nice”.

He tied the knot back in place between your boobs. After one look to approve his doing, he declared that you were all good to get out of the tub.

“Do you regret it?”

“I don’t. You?”

“Nope”

“What happened in the water stays in the water?”

“Absolutely. Let’s forget it ever happened even though it will be rough”.

You swam towards the shore gently, side by side, as if nothing sexual ever happened.

“Do I have a mark on my shoulder”.

“Oooh, that? Oopsie” you answered cutely.

“You think you’re a shark or something? Jesus, it will hurt for days”

“I’m sorry but not sorry at the same time, it’s hard to explain” you teased.

“You little brat”

“Am I?” You shrugged “But how are you gonna hide it from Dae?”

“I won’t, I’ll say that I’ve been bitten by a fish. Even better! I’ll say that mama shark bite me”

You both laughed and you realised that he had swam behind you. Snaking his arms around your waist, he said

“Thanks Y/n, seriously. I won’t talk about it, it’s the deal. But it will be really hard to forget”

“Agreed. Thanks to you too, it wouldn’t have been that magical without you”.

Even though you didn’t really touch each other, you felt connected to him in the most beautiful and voluptuous way. A bittersweet feeling invaded you. You didn’t regret what happened but you wish you could have more of him. All of him. His love, for example.

Before you parted, the aching to be in his arms began anew.

Present day

When you opened your eyes later that morning, you were laid under his comforter. For some reason, at the end of the night you were agitated in your sleep and couldn’t rest comfortably. It gave you a weird feeling of anxiety. Was it because you were in Jiyong’s bed? In 5 years of friendship, the only time that you found yourself here was when your niece got sick. More likely, pretended to be dying from a runny nose just to be taken care of by the man of her dreams, the one and only Jiyong oppa, as she called him so cutely. Jiyong was so endearing to watch as he rubbed camphre on her back with caring hands. He was taking care of the sick little princess as if she was really dying. It was touching and cute and adorable. It’s probably then that you realised that he was the man you loved. Damn, it was already 3 years ago, how can time fly that fast?

“What makes you smile like that” his voice was sleepy and soft. So soothing and familiar that you calmed down a bit. At least, felt less out of place.

“I just remembered when the little princess slept here, between us. She used all sorts of tricks to get you to take care of her. Damn, I should learn from her, she can get what she wants just clicking her little chubby fingers. She mastered the art” you joked.

“Aaaw! She was so sweet. It was fun to take care of her with you. I felt like I was a king”

You burst out laughing.

“Duh! I couldn’t take care of her, she only wanted you. Jiyong oppa here, Jiyong oppa there”.

You turned to face him, holding your head in your hand. It seemed that he was awake for a little while, he had filled an entire notebook with lyrics, drawings and song ideas.

“You couldn’t sleep”? you asked, reaching out to pull back a strand of hair that was falling before his eyes.

“Nope, you snore too much,” he joked as he felt one finger grazing his skin. How could such a simple contact could feel so good? Because it was you, probably.

You knew he was teasing you. For some reasons, you felt the need to get closer to him. To cuddle up with him. To show him that whatever happened last night, you were there, by his side. But not knowing how he would react, you restrained yourself from doing it.

“Jiyong, can you believe that in 5 years, it’s the second time that I sleep in your bed? It’s so comfy, we should be doing it more often”

“You… you want to sleep in my bed?”

“Relax loverboy, I said it like that. I just realised that whenever I sleep here, it’s always on the couch… I didn’t mean anything. Anyway. I’ll get going, I have to work in the afternoon”.

“Already? Normally you stay a little longer. Can you stay a little longer?”

“What’s gotten into you? Last night you didn’t talk to me. This morning I want to let you have your space and you want me to stay. I’m not following, Ji”.

“Well, I really want you to stay. I need to clear up my mind. I need to…” he stopped when your body crashed against his. His hands came to rest on your back, his nose on the top of your head. You felt so good against him with your scent invading him, it was endearing. He knew your intention was to comfort him. He knew you were just worried, thinking that something bad was going on. Maybe that was it, after all. Maybe it will soon be the end of your friendship because of his stupid ass.

“I’ll stay like that for 5 minutes, then I’ll leave. I really need to get going, I have some shopping to do before my shift. If you want to talk, I’m here. Otherwise, I’ll just listen to your heartbeat and relax before the day starts. You’re so comfy, Ji.”

You snuggled closer against him. His delicate smell was so familiar and appealing at the same time. You didn’t know where to place your hands, though. Hugging was not a habit of yours. Even less hugging in bed like that. In what situation did he put himself, he wondered.

“I might have a question… Do you remember what happened in Jeju Island last year? Do you remember the kiss that we shared?”

You froze. You didn’t see it coming at all. Why asking you this after all this time? You coughed, sign that you were uncomfortable. Clearly, you knew what he was talking about. And your little cough won’t be unnoticed or misinterpreted by his sharp ass. He continued.

“Do you think about it, sometimes?”

“No, why would I?” you giggled, nervously. There was nothing funny with his question. “Sorry Ji, I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s not funny. You caught me by surprise”

“I do, think about it… From time to time, I do. Lately, I think about it even more often”

You moved away from him and laid on your back. You shouldn’t have come in his bed last night. You had crossed a line and it could be misinterpreted by him. What have you done?

“Why, though?"

“Do I need a reason to remember good memories? You know, it was not a simple peck, it was so passionate and emotional. I’ve never been kissed like that before or after. Of course, I will think about it”.

“Well, yes, I do think about it too, indeed”.

Your eyes met his. He seemed sad, desperate and shocked. Something was happening in his life and he needed to remember comforting moments, you thought. Maybe he felt that raw and pure love that you had for him, when you kissed.

“You loved it?”

“What’s that question? Ji, you’re making me feel uncomfortable. You were there, do I really have to tell you how I felt? Didn’t you feel me? See me? I have nothing to add.”

“Don’t be mad at me, please. I was just… I don’t know. But please, I beg you, don’t be mad at me today”.

“I’m not mad, I just don’t want to think about it, it won’t do any good. Listen, I have to go. I forgot that I have to give a lift to a coworker”.

“You’re running away from me” he said, grabbing your side to keep you from standing up.

“Yes. I am, I admit”.

“Please don’t leave me like that”

“Ji, I will be back, I’m not cutting ties with you. I just need to work. And when we meet again, I don’t want you to remember that kiss… or talk about it”.

“Then, what about the other thing we did, in the ocean?”

“Ji, stop. I don’t want to remember any of it….”

“Why? Do you regret what we did?” he wondered.

You tried to escape the bed but he dragged you closer to him instead. He captured you in his arms and kept you there. You still felt safe and you knew that he would let go of you the second you ask for it. Despite, you didn’t move back.

“I promise I won’t talk about any of it… But, please. Can I please hug you a little longer. I need to… I just need it”.

He was so emotionally raw that you couldn’t refuse. After all, you will never be able to escape Jiyong for good, will never have the wish to do so anyway. You relaxed in his arms and gently leaned your head on the same pillow as him. He felt all the muscles of your body relax at the same time and you melted in his arms, cute little spoon that you were. Finally, you had let go.

“I lied. Not only do I want to talk about it, I also want to do it again. I want to do it all the time” he said. But it’s your cute little snore that answered on your behalf. You had fallen asleep, in the security of his arms.

“You chose your moment to fall asleep, you little brat” he laughed.

It was a good thing that you didn’t hear it. It won’t risk your friendship for a dirty play. He couldn’t lose you, you were too important for him. He won’t let that happen. With a kiss on your head, he pressed his legs against the back of yours. Then, he abandoned himself to sleep, too.

Last year, sharing one hot kiss.

With a bunch of friends, you had rented a few condos units in Jeju Island to celebrate Jiyong’s birthday. He had a girlfriend at that time but it’s during this week-end that she had decided to break up with him, telling him that he was “too much to handle” for her liking.

What was supposed to be a fun week-end, turned out to be a blast for everybody except for Jiyong and you. How were you supposed to be happy when your best friend was crying alone outside in the dark.

“Leave me alone, Y/n. I just need some time”.

“I know, don’t worry, I only brought you a blanket, it’s frisky tonight!”

He noticed that indeed, you had laid a big comfy blanket on his shoulders. You knew better than him! He was cold and didn’t even notice. He sighed, heavy.

“See? I didn’t realise that it was cold. How can I notice that she was unhappy with me when I can’t even notice when the temperature drops”

“Ji, I know it hurts, believe me, I know…”

“Duh! As far as I know, you’ve always been the one to leave.Have you ever been dumped?”

“No, I haven’t but I know how a one side love feels like”.

“You never told me that you were in love with someone that doesn’t love you back…”

He was talking very slowly, struggling with his pronunciation. He probably won’t remember any of it tomorrow.

“I don’t tell you every single thing that happened to me. Listen, I’ll leave you alone. Text me if you need me, I’ll be here in a second”.

“Nah, stay here and share that bottle of vodka with me”.

He had caught sight of the bottle you were holding with one hand. Sitting by his side, you had handed him the precious liquid. He took a long sip, making an appreciation sound when he was done.

“Aaaah! Thanks, hun. The lost cause is happy”.

Judging by his speech and his general condition, it was far from his first consommation tonight. He was wasted. Once again, you stayed silent. You knew he was having an emotional breakdown right now, you’ve been there yourself. He was so in love with that model and he didn’t see it coming at all, of course he was broken. It was breaking your heart to see him that sad.

“You must be happy, right? You never loved her!”

“You think I’m happy when I can feel your sadness with every cell of my body?”

“You heard me”

“Jiyong, don’t go there. We’ll fight and I don’t want to fight with you”.

“Pfff. I know what you are thinking”.

“You don’t know, stop being like that”.

“Or what?”

“Or nothing. Just stop. I explained myself many times before. You know why I never loved her. But she seemed to make you happy so I was making great efforts not to get in your way”.

“Ooooh, is this why I didn’t see you the last month or so?”

“Damn, didn't you realize that I had been discreet so as not to harm your relationship with the asshole”?

“I told you, I’m too stupid to realise what’s under my nose. She is right, I didn’t take good care of her”.

“Okay, Ji, that’s enough. She was a manipulative woman, she was using you to boost her own career. You did everything to please her and yet she asked for more. I told you all that before but you didn’t believe me. Next time, trust my intuition. I’m never wrong”.

“I thought you were jealous”.

“I wasn’t jealous. I was mad because she was treating you badly and you refused to see it. But yes, you’re right too. I was jealous… I got to see you less because of her and it hurt. You didn’t even notice that I disappeared from your life, it pissed me not gonna lie”.

“Oh no! Shit. I’m gonna throw up”.

He did throw up for almost 30 minutes outside in the parking lot and even after, when he laid in bed. You couldn’t let him in that state, scared that he might vomit in his sleep and choke on it. That night, you didn’t close your eyes, looking out for him. Wiping his mouth after each puke, cleaning the floor, giving him water, meds and fresh linen for his forehead. You did it because this is how he deserves to be treated. With care and affection.

Just before going back in Seoul, as you were about to close the door of the condo that you had rented for yourself, he appeared behind you and snaked his arms around your chest, in a protective manner.

“Y/n… I want to thank you for staying by my side all this time. I know you wanted to try hitting on Jae but you couldn’t because of me. Thanks, I really appreciate it. And I’ll invite him over for you to meet again.”

“Don’t mention it, it’s alright. And turns out that Jae is a douche, so forget it”.

“What happened?”

“Well, yesterday morning, he came out of his condo with 2 girls under his arms”.

“What’s the problem? If they all consented…” you closed the door and turned towards him. He was clearly not getting the point here.

“Problem is, he didn’t invited ME”

“Ooooh…. I see”.

“No, you cannot get it. You don’t know what it is because you have never experienced it. All the girls are at your feet. You enter a room and all eyes are on you. Women want you, men want you. Elders want you as their son-in-law. You don’t know what it’s like to feel ugly, unnoticed and unwanted. I’m sorry but you…”

You couldn’t finish your phrase. He stepped towards him and held your face in his chest, whispering soft words in your ears while you cried not so cutely. You felt good, thus wrapped in the comfort of his arms.

“We were 4 women Ji. Fucking 4. He invited 2 of them to his bed, the other one is Youngbae’s girl. You know what it means? Out of the three, I was the fucking last choice. How’s that?”

“I’m sorry hun, I really am. But maybe, he didn’t invite you because you were taking care of me. YES! That must be it. He invited them 2 to replace the only one he wanted to have sex with. See? It takes 2 to replace you!”. He wanted to cheer you up and it was working.

“You’re silly” you smiled even though you knew he was wrong.

You had calmed down, so you stepped back from him. You were normally not cuddly with each other. Not that you didn’t like the contact, it was just like that. His arms didn’t feel uncomfortable but it was not fun either. The whole situation, the whole week-end was not.

As he looked into your sad eyes, he did the only thing that came into his mind. It was stupid to do but he didn’t had much time to think about it, he acted on an impulse.

“Well, now you will be able to say that you were kissed by the legendary G-Dragon”

And he had leaned in, lifting your chin up with his index.

What he wanted to be a soft peck became a surprisingly hot and feverish kiss. One that normally leads directly to bed, don’t pass go, don’t claim 200 dollars. Whose tongue was inside the other’s mouth first? He couldn’t tell. After a short moment, he had withdrawn in shock but when your finger traced the spot on your lips that he just left, he had no choice but to dive in for a second taste.

It was delicious. He melted into you like ice-cream under the warm sun and so did you. He felt like he belonged next to you, and you next to him. It seemed that your lips were drawn to fit his. That your tongue was made to dance with his. That his hands were the perfect size to circle your waist. Not only your bodies were in perfect harmony, that kiss held the sweetness of your friendship combined with a million loving thoughts. It all condensed into a moment of burning heat.

He had just felt your boobs pressed against him and your mouth against his neck, a delightful sensation, when you heard someone coming your way. Youngbae was coming out of his condo, he would soon turn the corner and discover you. Unfortunately, you had to split apart. To stop that fire that had ignited. That desire that consumed you.

“Ji, we shouldn’t have crossed that line…” you pushed him away.

“I know. Let’s forget it happened” he answered in shock, not sure about what just happened and why it was not a good idea. It was so perfect, it couldn’t be a bad thing.

“Good idea”

It seems that you were equally eager to end the conversation. Obviously, both for different reasons.

“Are you mad, Y/n?” he asked later, in the plane.

“Mad about what?”

“Duh, the kiss!”

“What kiss?” you answered, determined never to think about what had just happened.

To this day, you never said anything about it. It was almost like a faded dream. Did it ever happen?

Present day

When you had woken up after your little nap close to lunch time, you felt reposed and relaxed. Jiyong was spooning you, his arms clutching onto your waist. His warm chest rose against your back at the rhythm of his soft breathing. On your neck was the most satisfying thing that you ever felt in your life, Jiyong’s warm breath. Smiling, you softly turned around to face him, you needed to look at his perfect face. You made sure to be as quiet and gentle as possible not to wake him up. Unnoticeable like a mouse.

When you faced him, his naked legs automatically intertwined with yours. He dragged you closer to him with one strong arm and your hands landed on his chest. Snuggling your nose against his shirt, you felt butterflies dancing in your stomach, threatening to fly away with your heart on the same occasion. Was the mornings in his arms always perfect like that?

“Mmmmm hun, you feel good” It was not a question, it was a statement whispered with his lazy voice. One that leaves no place to doubt, hatred or anxiety. A voice that could heal a broken heart and guide another out of the darkest places.

He knew that it was you in his arms and still, he didn’t flinch. You felt so stupidly good that you had to stand up and leave. It was too perfect. Too intimate. Too soothing. Your heart won’t survive this. For the sake of your mental health, you had to leave now.

“I have to go Ji, I’ll be late”.

“Already? No, stay a little longer. We’re so comfy”

He hasn't opened his eyes yet, still blurred from sleep. He seemed so peaceful, it was endearing. You didn’t know what was going on with him, but one thing was certain, he hadn’t been himself since last night. He even had shown small changes in his behavior in recent weeks.

Brushing these thoughts on the side, you moved away from his arms. You’ll have plenty of time to fall in the downward spiral of sadness later, thinking that you will never be his. That he will never be yours. You escaped the peaceful cocoon you were wrapped in and went out of his bed. Out of his house. Out of your own mind.

Later that day, after your shift

As you arrived at your place, you opened your message app and started to read it. At the same time, you took your shoes off by shaking your feet one by one, over the rug in the hall. Right after your shower when you sat on the couch with a bowl of Japchae, you passed out exhausted.

Meanwhile, Jiyong was upside down. He had spent the day thinking of you, your relationship. He was affirmative, his feelings for you had changed, he was deeply in love with his best friend. There was no doubt in his mind. And he had no idea how you would react to it.

He didn’t want to lose you, but the feeling was so strong now that he accepted it, he had to confess. He needed to.

Unlike your habit, and the timing couldn’t be more paradoxical, you had left him on read all day. It happened once before but it was because you were too busy with work. Why did it have to happen on a day like today, when he was already so out of his mind. Did you feel him today? Did you realize the changes taking place in him? Was that why you ignored his calls and texts? Were you angry? Maybe you found him too clingy. Maybe he made you feel uncomfortable. He was going crazy with all these questions when he realised that it was already 2am. It was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Sighting, he wore his ‘incognito costume’, meaning jogging pants, a hoodie, a face mask and a beanie. Nothing fancy, nothing to expose his identity. Hopefully, the streets will be empty at this time of the night.

He walked around his neighbourhood, wandering. He could only think of you, what your reaction could be when he’ll open his heart to you. He didn’t want to imagine the worst, he couldn’t imagine you rejecting him, his heart felt heavy with pain just at the thought of it. With the consequences that this could bring, the changes to your relationship. We should not dwell on it. He had to go heart first and confess, hoping for the best.

He realized that he was now in front of your apartment block, that he had been walking along your street for a while now, like a stalker. What if something happened bad to you? Just thinking about it made him anxious. He needed to see you, to make sure that first you were safe and warm and second that you were not mad at him. That he didn’t lose you. But why would you be mad? It was a downward spiral of thoughts. It had to stop.

He entered the building with his key, took the elevator and then ran in the hallway impatiently. He couldn’t wait to see you. To tell you. It was a strong and invalidating feeling, he had to confess. His heart had to come back to normal, otherwise he would go crazy.

Unable to wait for you to open the apartment door, he slammed it open. What he discovered inside broke him into pieces, in the best way possible. You were wearing that same old clothes he saw you so often with. That horrible kit that made him hiss in disapproval each time he saw you dressed in. There was nothing he could do to make you stop wearing it. He had tried it all. Somewhere along the way, he had let go. It was a really good thing, it allowed him to discover you curled up on the couch with untouched food on the table near you. Your hands were hidden in the sleeves of your sweater, joined under your chin. You were so cute, peacefully asleep in your comfort clothes, his heart melted.

He squatted down in front of you and with much tenderness, he caressed your face. He didn’t want to wake you up, he just needed to touch you. He was finally able to breathe.

You felt his hand on your cheek and automatically, you knew it was Jiyong. You must have been dreaming, you were at your place, alone. Humming with content, you whispered his name with a satisfied smile across your lips and turned to face the other side.

“Sleep, hun… I’ll wait tomorrow, I can wait now”.

“Ji?” you exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you rub your eyes and opened the light that sat on the low table. When you discovered his features, you jumped off the couch and sat on the floor in front of him. “What’s going on? What happened”.

He didn’t understand what you meant, he didn’t say anything yet

“Ji, you cried! What happened?”

“I cried? ooooh, yes” patting his face he realized that he did, indeed, have semi-dried tears on his cheeks. So he cried and didn't realize it.

“Why??? What happened?” you asked in a hurry.

“Nothing happened. I just cried…”

“Something must have, you had cried and landed in my living room at 3 am” you cupped his cheeks and started a visual inspection of him. You needed to make sure that he was okay, that nothing happened to him. That he was not sick or hurt physically at least. He found you beautiful.

“I love you”

“Yes Ji, I know… love you too” you answered mindlessly as you scritized his face, concentrating on your inspection.

He grabbed your wrists and held your hands close to his heart. He had started to talk, he couldn’t stop now. He didn’t want to. With all his courage and all the hope he could gather, he repeated.

“Y/n, I love you”

“...”

“I love you”

You understood what he just said, the words he pronounced but not quite the meaning. You locked eyes with him, searching for an answer to your unspoken question. His beautiful eyes were not sparkling exactly the same way than before. He seemed agitated and peaceful at the same time, it was strange.

“Ji? What’s going on? Are you drunk?”

“Yah… Pabo! Let’s sit more comfortably, I’ll explain”.

You both transferred on the couch, sitting face to face with your knees up under your chin. You held your legs against your chest in a comforting manner. He couldn’t resist the temptation to touch you and he placed a hand flat on your forearm, amazed by your beauty as much as touched by your obvious concern.

“Y/n… Let me talk please”

It made you smile. If the situation would have not been that tensed, you would have laughed your ass out and mock him.

“I didn’t place a word Ji, I’m waiting for you to explain your interruption in my living room in the middle of the night. I think it’s fair to say that I’m letting you talk”.

“Yes, sorry” he scratched his head with shyness “what I meant was let me talk before you do. But first, why didn’t you answer my calls or texts today? I was scared something happened to you”.

“I figure, sorry Ji. I was dead busy today, couldn’t find the time to eat anything or rest. I took a shower and wanted to call you but the minute I sat on the couch, I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to make you worry”

“Fair enough… and what happened at work today? You had a good day? Did you finally decide to buy yourself a cat?”

“Ji…” you cut him. He was running around the bush and you became impatient. “Ji, tell me. What is it about?”

“I promise you that if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll be okay, I’ll manage to survive. Goodness, I’m petrified”.

While he took his sweet time to say what he had to say, an image was forming in your mind. Did he mean what you think he meant? It couldn’t be possible. Febrile, hope bloomed inside of you.

“Ji… what’s going on?”

“I love you”

The mocking gaze of your best friend was gone. Instead, in his eyes you saw a loving feeling come to life. You read in it doubt and hope. Lots of hope. In his eyes, new sparks you never thought that would shine on for you. This beautiful vision speaked louder than words.

“I realised lately that you’re the one I want to share my life with. The affection I had, it changed into love. Now, I smile like an idiot when I hear your voice. I melt when you pronounce my name. I want my hands on you all the time. I want to hug you. I want to be a better person and make you proud. I want the world a better place just for you to be more safe. I want to make you happy, just like you make me. I want to kiss you. I want to hold your hand on my way to paradise if it exists, and I want to be born with you again in our next life. Say something please…”

“That hand of mine will hold yours till the end of our life and again in the next one. I promise you that”.

It was not what he expected to hear. He was so scared that you would reject him, he never thought you would really share his feelings. He just hoped with all his heart, unsure and nervous. Therefore, he was unable to process the words you spoke.

“What?”

You didn’t repeat, instead you leaned in and kissed him, putting all your love in the kiss. The tenderness you feel for him, the passion too. You put all those intentions as your lips sealed with his. Tears went down both your cheeks and mixed together before falling on your clothes.

“You love me?” he asked between the kisses. “For real?”

He cupped your cheeks with a tenderness that you never felt before. His hands on you was now the only thing that matters.

“Ji, I love you. I love you so much… loved you for years now”.

“Woah, really?”

“Let’s not talk about it yet, we have plenty of time ahead. But yes, I love you. I thought I was so obvious”.

“Not at all, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry love, to realize that you were mine this late”.

“It’s okay Ji, I never thought that you could love me back so I'm more than happy right now. I’m in heaven”.

“Me too”

You looked at each other, smiling shyly.

“I can’t wait to bring you out on our first date. It will be so nice to hold your hand… to show everybody that you are mine, that I’m the luckiest man who got the prettiest girl”.

“Aaaaw Ji”

Your heart was so light but it was beating fast at the same time. You were happy like you were never before. You felt fully and wonderfully alive, loved and overwhelmed. Jiyong’s features told you that he felt the exact same way about you. He had that shy loving smile of his.

“Ji… Is this for real?”

“I could ask you the same”

“Love of my life…” you whispered as you kissed him a sweet and feverish kiss. You broke contact and plonged your eyes into his “you have no idea how you make me feel right now. I’ve been longing for you, for your kisses and touch all this time. I was loving you in silence and now I can finally touch you. I don’t mean sexually… Just to be able to cup your beautiful face like that and I’m in heaven” you said as you cupped his face and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I doubt the ‘not sexually’ part but I know exactly how you feel. It seems like you are too far away from me. You would be sitting on my lap and you would still be too far. I’m craving for you”

“Come” you said, standing up. You took his hand in yours and as you walked backwards, you guided him towards your bedroom. His smile grew bigger.

“Where are we going?”

“You confessed your love to me while I was wearing those clothes that you hate so much. I think it’s only fair that we take them off now… I mean, not to ruin your mood”

“You… you sure?”

“Not a bit… I’m scared that I will deceive you. I’m scared that you will not love what you see…”

“Shhhhh” he stopped you with a kiss “there is no such thing possible. You walked naked so many times before me, I already know all your curves”

“I never walked naked in front of you…”

“You do”

“Nope…”

“all the time…”

“Wanna see what naked is? Let me show you” you took your clothes off in the speed of light, exposing your naked forms in front of him. “See? Have you ever seen me naked like that before?”

He smiled a cocky smile and pushed the clothes that were on the floor with his foot. He didn’t answer your question; instead, he held out a trembling hand, the only clue of the fire roaring in him. He put it flat on the side of your neck. His touch was delicate and full of love. You felt his raw emotion in the way he was touching you, looking at you. He couldn't believe he was so lucky. That you were his and you felt the same.

“I love what I see. I love every inch of that body because it’s yours. I will love and cherish it until the day I die”

A single tear fell down off your eyes. There was no cloud under your sky and if ever you meet some along the way, you will certainly find a way to overcome it. Of that, you had no doubt.

“I love you Jiyong”

“I love you Y/n”

Without another word, he lifted you from the ground and transported you to you to your bed. With all the love he had, and all the love you had too, you started your new life together in the most beautiful way possible.

348 notes · View notes

zabiume · 3 years

Note

I love the series you did on Renji and Orihime and their silliness!! Could I ask for a prompt where we can see more of them but also Ichigo and Rukia shenanigans too? I love the IH/RR foursome and love your writing too!

Title. Knot In Love (Read on AO3)

Pairing(s): RenHime Brotp, IchiRuki brotp, Renruki, IchiHime

Summary: Newly-married Kuchiki Rukia and Abarai Renji have never been shy about expressing gratitude to Kurosaki Ichigo for all he's done for them in their long journey of getting back together again. But when the ever-turbulent substitute shinigami approaches them with a favor to ask, chances are they'll find themselves roped in for more than they bargained for.

“I need your help.”

Rukia peered up from the shoujo she was reading, narrowing her eyebrows at Ichigo suspiciously. She was on paid vacation and the vampire was about to confess to the human girl so whatever this was about better have been serious enough to rouse her from her afternoon lazing or there would be prices to pay. “What did you do?”

Ichigo frowned. “I didn’t do anything,” he insisted, a little offended. Behind the veneer of his typical Ichigo-isms however, she did notice his ears were slightly pink.

She sat up immediately. Uh-oh. “What are you about to do?”

Ichigo coughed behind one hand, then stared Rukia dead in the eyes. “I need you to, uh, help get Orihime’s ring size for me.” He turned to face the wall, hands determinedly shoved in his pocket.

Rukia’s eyes widened, a range of mercurial emotions crossing her at an intense speed, too fleeting for her to catalogue any of them permanently. She chucked the book at him, hitting him square in the head.

“Ow!” He ducked under his hands in pain, blinking away a few tears as the hard-edge of the book rammed into his noise. “What’s your problem, Rukia?”

“What’s my problem?” Rukia demanded, standing up so she could tug his collar. “You’re supposed to be my best friend, you jerk, why the hell didn’t you tell me you were proposing to Orihime?!” She paused, then turned on her heel with a devious grin that Ichigo really didn’t like. “When? Where? How? Can I be there?”

“No,” he replied automatically, crossing his arms. She blew her tongue out at him rather crassly in response. “Listen, can you help me or not? I’m kinda freaking out here.”

She cooled down, shoulders slumping. “What have you got so far?” she asked gently.

He fished his hand in his pocket and brought out a little plastic ring with a ruler attached to its curve. “Bought a ring-sizer to do it when she was asleep,�� he said. “But she’s been busy at the bakery so I haven’t had the opportunity to take a lot of naps with her.”

Rukia nodded grimly. “What about asking Arisawa? Or that other girl...what was her name? Chizuru?”

Ichigo made an impatient face and clicked his teeth, like he’d already gone over this. “Tatsuki doesn’t know and Chizuru doesn’t want to tell me.” He towered over Rukia, rattling her back and forth with both hands on her shoulders. “This is why I need you to do it for me.” He froze. “Hey, how did Renji do it?”

“He asked Orihime,” Rukia replied simply, with a shrug.

“So you...should know her size,” Ichigo said slowly, eyebrow twitching. “Right?”

“Nope,” Rukia said, much to his annoyance. “Don’t look at me like that, Ichigo, we went jewellery shopping a long time ago, how the hell was I supposed to remember?”

"She clearly remembered yours!" Ichigo yelled, throwing his hands up dramatically.

Rukia rolled her eyes. "It's Orihime. She remembers everything," she excused. "Look, just relax. I'll find a way to get the information, just...just stop looking like you're gonna burst, it's scaring me."

"Okay," Ichigo replied, visibly relaxing.

Rukia bit her lip. She had a few Ideas formulating already, some of which she would need some assistance with. But until then...

"Can I come ring-shopping once we're done?"

Ichigo shook his head, already picking up his phone so he could start making other arrangements. "Sorry, Ishida called dibs on that one. He’s more excited than my dad is, if you can believe it."

He began leaving his room, shrugging on his jacket with one hand, holding his phone with the other.

Rukia stared after his figure, fuming. Then,

"Ishida?! You picked Ishida over me?!" she called after him, shaking one fist in puny rage.

"We'll take you cake-tasting!" he called out dismissively, from the bottom of the stairs.

Rukia opened her mouth, then closed it. She...could live with that. She fished into her pocket-dress, fingers already rapidly skirting across the pad of the phone to dial a familiar number.

"Renji," she snapped immediately, once she heard the ringing on the other end stop. "Where are you and how soon can you get to Ichigo and Orihime's apartment?"

x.x.x.x.x.x

"It's always nice when you two stop by," Orihime cheered amicably, licking ice cream from her spoon with enthusiasm. "How are things going at Soul Society?"

"Uh, great," Renji replied, taking over the conversation from Rukia, who seemed to be peering rather obviously at Orihime's ring finger. "We got a new vending machine over at Squad Six since the last time you visited. The Captain hates it."

Orihime nodded seriously. Kuchiki Byakuya did not seem like the type to enjoy the many benefits of a vending machine. Perhaps he had gotten his hand stuck? Orihime wouldn't judge him, that had happened to her too. It was understandable.

Suddenly, she felt a hand lifting hers. "Um, Rukia," she asked, a little curiously, "What's wrong?"

Rukia jerked back suddenly, feeling her bangs slap her forehead at the movement. She quickly concealed the ring-sizer, the plastic disappearing in the folds of her dress. "Nothing!" she shouted formally, "I was simply holding your hand, as good friends do!"

"Oh that's so cute," Orihime cooed, with an appreciative nod. "I'd love to hold hands with you!" She reached out for Rukia's fingers and twined it with hers, going back to eating her ice cream with gusto, single-handed.

Renji shook his head, hiding a poorly concealed grin as he regarded the table tops. Rukia narrowed her eyes at him, and he suddenly felt a jolt of nervousness shoot up his spine. She was getting the Bad Idea look in her eyes again: a look he was overly familiar with in Rukon, when she got excitable and wanted to chase feral hogs in the fields—something that never ended well but had Renji chasing after her anyway. Rukia's eyes flashed, a dangerous grin spreading on her lips.

"You know," she said, at a conspirator's distance. "Renji is really good at palmistry." She elbowed him not-so-subtly, making him frown.

"I've never—" he started, but closed his mouth when he realized what Rukia was up to. He then quickly amended himself, shrugging with an air of nonchalance as he regarded Orihime. "Eh, I used to dabble a bit."

"He's very good at dabbling," Rukia insisted, yanking Orihime's hand and thrusting it into Renji's. She used her other hand to slyly slip the ring-sizer into Renji's broad palm under the table.

It was only years of experience that helped him catch it without a glance, not letting it clatter to the floor.

"Oh, I don't know, you guys," Orihime started, staring down at her hands. Ichigo hated these things with a passion and the last thing she wanted was another tirade from him about it but it seemed to her to be a bit of harmless fun. She shrugged, flipping the light side of her palm up. “Let’s do it!”

“Yes, let’s,” Rukia agreed enthusiastically, giving Renji a pointed look.

Renji felt a pool of sweat start to form on his forehead as Rukia and Orihime stared at him. Sure, he had agreed to help Rukia help Ichigo out, agreed to palmistry as well, but he hadn’t thought this far. He gulped.

“So,” he said, taking a breath as he regarded the thin, light lines running across Orihime’s very soft, very pink palms. “You have uh, a lot of lines.”

Orihime’s brows creased. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Renji,” Rukia hissed.

Right. He had to get his shit together or Ichigo would not be able to propose, and as someone who had struggled to propose himself, he stood deeply in solidarity with the kid.

“No, no,” he said quickly, bending so he could get a better look. “I see one of these lines,” he brushed a large thumb over the expanse of her palm, “curves outwards. That means you’re, uh...a very outgoing, adventurous person. You like trying new things.”

He peered up to gauge her reaction. Most of what he just said were things he already knew, and he suspected Orihime knew that as well, but since she didn’t factor in too much importance over this, she didn’t seem to mind. Beside her, Rukia was holding in a laugh behind her palm.

Orihime, however, just smiled encouragingly and nodded. “I do like exploring a lot.”

“Alright,” he said, steadying her wrist under one hand. “There’s three lines here. Good fortune, lotsa kids,” he suddenly bit his tongue, wondering if Ichigo was going to kill him for suggesting that. But Orihime seemed to be listening with keen interest, so he twisted the ring-sizer in his finger and inched it closer. “Maybe...four kids?”

“That’s a lot,” Rukia pointed out with a frown, eyes suddenly catching his movement. She decided to pitch in. “They aren’t even out of college yet. Anything in there about marriage?”

Orihime squeaked, turning a bright scarlet. She and Ichigo had talked about it, but they hadn’t talked about it, so the jitter in her belly made her swivel her head bashfully.

Renji used this opportunity to lift her ring finger. Almost there, his brain urged. “Your, um, marriage line,” he said, proud of himself for making up legitimate-sounding palm-reading terminology, “looks fruitful. You will marry someone who is a bit of an idiot—” Orihime giggled, “—but he cares, and he’s going to be good to you and, uh, fight to the brink of death to keep you happy...” He almost slipped the ring on, when Orihime sniffled loudly.

He suddenly looked up in mild panic. Large tears had begun to gather at her eyes, and she retrieved her hand from his grip to wipe them away from her wet cheeks. “He is really good to me,” she agreed, feeling a sudden, overwhelming bout of emotions take over her chest. “Ichigo’s the best.”

“Oh, Orihime,” Rukia exclaimed, rubbing her back with one hand. She had a weird, watery grin on her face, like she was trying to decide whether to feel upset that their mission was botched or laugh at how Orihime was going on about how much she liked Ichigo—as if everyone didn’t already know.

Renji huffed. Just when he was getting really in character! he grumbled inwardly, slipping the ring-sizer back in his pocket. He had to come up with a new plan.

x.x.x.x.x.x

Every new plan was a bust.

Renji had thought of everything, but grabbing a girl's hand was rather tough to do when she was conscious.

"We are not knocking Orihime out," Rukia mumbled under her breath, shooting down Plan #42. Ahead of them, Orihime seemed to be deep in thought as they walked back to the apartment she shared with Ichigo. Beside him, Rukia was biting her lip, furiously tapping back and forth in an all out text-war with—probably—Ichigo. Renji cleared his throat. "Say, does she look alright to you?" Orihime had seemed rather quiet post-ice cream, which—in Renji's admittedly brief experience with her—was uncharacteristic.

"Hmm?" Rukia mumbled, fingers dancing with uncertainty as she tried to find the best emoji to pair off with her expletives. Ichigo's potty mouth had gotten worse in the months they hadn't seen each other and she wouldn't stand for half-assing something as important as cussing him out. She was trying, wasn't she? She couldn't carry out her tasks if he was going to ask for updates every damn minute!

"Nevermind, I'm gonna go up to her, see what's up," Renji said, jerking his head straight ahead. "You reconfigure our ring strategy."

He left Rukia to go fall in line with Orihime. She acknowledged him with a small smile, but seemed otherwise a little inert. Elbowing her slightly, he nodded. "Y'alright?"

Orihime smiled, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater as she replied, "Yes, I'm fine." She took a breath, clearly hesitating to say something. "It's just..."

"Just what?" Renji asked, eyes widening slightly.

"Nothing!" Orihime said brightly, and her act lasted for a solid second before her shoulders slumped again. "It's just...We were talking about marriage earlier, right?"

"Uh-huh," Renji replied, feeling a sense of foreboding crawl up his spine.

Orihime sighed. "I don't know," she said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"You don't know...if you wanna marry him?" Renji prompted, looking over his shoulder to see if Rukia was listening to this because all the panic alarm bells were going off in his head. Cheesy and cliche as it was, he knew a thing or two about wanting to marry the one you loved since you were young enough to identify the feeling. He'd always thought Orihime was pretty much the same when it came to Ichigo. Was she having second thoughts? What had that idiot done to fuck up this badly?

Renji suddenly felt a mild string of panic for Ichigo.

"I do, I really do," Orihime insisted, however, cheeks pink as she gnawed her lip. "Sometimes I want it so much I go crazy just thinking about it. But..." Her tone faltered. "Sometimes I feel like a fraud. It's been so amazing so far, but I don't know if—if it's always going to be like this or if the charm will wear off and we'll both turn into people we don't like, like that couple in the show Rukia made us watch.” Knot in Love Tonight, Renji thought, but did not interrupt her. “Ichigo's always so confident because his parents were really in love and really happy together and he doesn't seem to get that not all marriages end up that way and...I don't want us to go into this because it’s what’s expected and then regret it." She took a breath, shooting Renji an apologetic wince. "Sorry."

"Nah, you're good," Renji said slowly, with a sigh. "Your folks weren't too great, huh?"

Orihime shook her head.

He blew out air through his cheeks, weighing his words with deliberation as he spoke, "Y'know I didn't have any parents either." In Rukon, you generally banded together with the first people you came across, but Renji never had that and it had never really occurred to him that he was an outlier in the general spirit world population until he met other people at the Academy. "I didn't have a good point of reference too, but I don't think that's necessarily something you need to have a good marriage."

Orihime's eyes widened. "You think so?"

Renji nodded. "Yeah. I mean, you and Ichigo really love each other, right?"

She beamed. "We do.”

"Then you'll make it work. There's no secrets to a successful marriage, you just gotta keep stumbling along until you figure things out." He paused. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to gift 'em stuffed bunnies when they're mad at you, every now and then, though I don't think that would work with Ichigo."

Orihime giggled. "No," she agreed. "Thank you, Renji-kun."

Renji flashed her a grin. "You should talk to Ichigo about it, either way," he said, holding his fist out halfway. "Never know what's gonna be around the corner, right?"

Or how soon, he thought.

Orihime smiled, feeling her tummy turn into goo as she raised her hand to bump his.

"Oi, you two!" Rukia called out suddenly, distracting Orihime in her footsteps. "What are you guys talking about over there? When did you get so far ahead?"

Renji quickly used this as a scapegoat to twist Orihime's ring finger, circling the sizer in and out as Orihime mouthed off a cheerful response back at Rukia. With a satisfied sigh, he tossed it into his pocket quickly before anyone cottoned on.

By the time Rukia caught up with them, her eyes scanned Renji's curiously. "Everything okay?"

"Perfect!" Orihime replied, clapping her hands delightedly as she continued skipping forward.

"Just perfect," Renji added, smirking as he held up the sizer behind Orihime's back.

Rukia's jaw fell open, but she raised her hand as they high-fived.

"What did you do?" Rukia demanded, appalled and intrigued. "How did you do it?"

Renji shrugged. "We just talked. Turns out I'm really good with my hands after all."

Rukia made a face at his subsequent smirk. "You're so gross," she said fondly, "but at least Ichigo owes us now."

"Us?" Renji asked, raising an eyebrow. "Last I checked, I did all the work."

"Whatever. Orihime's probably going to ask me to be her bridesmaid, so jokes on you," she bragged.

"Dunno, I think I'd make a pretty bridesmaid," Renji said thoughtfully, scratching his chin as he ducked Rukia's jabs to his kidney. "Don't reckon Ichigo would make me best man?"

Rukia scoffed. "Unless Chad drops dead, no."

"She is going to say yes, though, isn't she?" Renji asked after a while, biting his lip.

"Duh."

They both stared after Orihime's silhouette for a while, a silence falling between them. Then, Renji's face split into a grin. "Y'know I'm kinda proud of those kids," he said, jerking his head forward.

Rukia's eyes softened. "Me too."

#been a while since i wrote renruki! a bit dialogue-heavy for once from me lol :)#thanks for the prompt anon hope you like!#asks #renruki #ichihime #ichiruki brotp #renhime brotp #myfic

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skiller0dani · 4 years

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Obliviate | Draco Malfoy

M A S T E R L I S T Harry Potter Masterlist

very sad (light) smut requested requests info

this is so sad. I’m sorryyyyy. also if you wanted to set the mood more, I listened to THIS while writing it. Please listen to it, it wont be the same without the song lmao

Part 1/10 (Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)(Part 5)(Part 6)(Part 7)(Part 8)(Part 9)(Part 10)

Draco had thought back to every other time in his life where he had felt like this, and nothing came to mind. There wasn’t another second of his torturous life that felt like this. He tended to count his blessings where he had them, and you were a blessing in his life. One that he woke up every single day thanking God for, Draco isn’t sure he’d ever love anyone the way he loves you. But he knew from the start, that the two of you were doomed, two lovers caught on each side of the war. His Father in direct relation with the Dark Lord, and you- Harry Potter’s cousin. There was a target on your back from the second you got to Hogwarts all those years ago and when Draco had first met you- he didn’t understand just how much danger you were already in.

Nobody looked at Draco the way you did, nobody looked at him like he was worth saving. But when you looked at him, you saw something in him that he didn’t even see in himself. Draco believes that he was never a good person until he met you, and even then whether or not he was good is still up to debate. You inspire people to be better, to be good and if there is no good- you create it. You are a light in an everlasting darkness, and he doesn’t deserve you. But selfishly he wants to keep you- and he knows you’d never voluntarily leave him. He had to make the choice for you. You can’t stubbornly stand by his side if you don’t remember you’re in love with him.

The Black Lake looks darker than Draco remembered it being. The view he currently held from the astronomy tower was beautiful in it’s own way, but now that he held every memory you have of him in his hands- the beauty seemed to slip out of the world. Looking down at the small vial in his hands, the vial containing your memories of him, his bottom lip quivers. He can’t stand how emotional you make him, you make him feel both weak and strong at the same time. His hand curls around the vial, Draco knows this is what he needs to do. He never expected it to be this hard though.

Closing his eyes, Draco decided to take one last walk down memory lane before he would destroy your memories of him forever.

The first time you had met Draco was when you were stood on the steps next to your cousin, Harry. Draco was stood in front of you, and although his eyes were on Harry- the blush on his cheeks came from being so close to you. Draco had held his head high, even when you snapped at him and told him how wonderful you found Ron to be. Draco always admired your sharp tongue, your unwillingness to step down when you felt passionately about something. He’s going to miss being your voice of reason, or the hand that holds you back when you’re ready to literally fight for what you believe in. You always say what you’re really thinking, how you’re really feeling. That’s something Draco has never really had the strength to do. If he did he would have said he loved you more often, and perhaps would have told Harry that he doesn’t hate him.

Draco vividly remembers the first time you looked at him, and saw him in a way nobody else does. Not even Crabbe and Goyle. He was sat in the back corner of the Library, hiding away from everyone and everything after receiving yet another disappointed letter from his Father. You’d been gathering books to study for Potions when you spotted him sitting secluded, alone. You didn’t hesitate to go sit next to him, and when you looked over at him you saw every emotion he carefully hid from the world written plainly on his face. As if you had the only key to unlock the innermost parts of his brain. After a few minutes of gentle coaxing, Draco eventually began to open up to you about his Father and in return you opened up about your terrible parents. About how abusive they were to Harry- how much that hurt you. Draco hadn’t given it a second thought when you revealed you were muggle born. Really Draco didn’t mind, nor did it offend him in the way he acted it did but for his Father Draco must keep up appearances.

He still feels guilty remembering how you recoiled away from him when he had spat the word ‘mudblood’ in your direction. He feels guilty as he remembers the tears trickling down your cheeks. Even that feeling paled in comparison to the way Draco feels now.

Draco remembers the first time you kissed him, and yes much to his embarrassment it was you that kissed him. You always were someone who went after what you wanted. He was in the Hospital wing after Buckbeak attacked him. Despite him being the biggest prat you’d ever met, you still went to see him anyway. You sat next to Draco in the bed, seeing the tears well in his eyes at the revelation Buckbeak would be executed. Sure he was angry the stupid thing attacked him but never would he want Buckbeak killed for it. Draco wasn’t entirely surprised to learn his Father had threatened the committee in order for Buckbeak to be sentenced. It’s not Draco that his Father cared about, it’s the family image. You had cupped his cheeks, and gently pressed your lips to his. It was the only thing you could think to do to soothe him, and it worked. Draco melted against you, his sorrows briefly muted by the feeling of your lips on his own. He thinks he might have fallen in love with you right at that moment.

The first time you went to Hogsmeade with him was the following year, during the winter. Your cheeks were rosy and your hand was as cold as ice around his warmer palm. He remembers you squealing with excitement as it began to snow again, the soft flakes fluttering gently around you. You truly did look like an angel. The snow stuck to your hair as you turned to look at him, “make a snowman with me!” Your voice was lilted, almost melodic as the happiness you felt carried over into your tone. While Draco didn’t normally do silly things like making snowmen, he couldn’t fight the smile that split across his face as he helped you roll the bottom of the snowman. Before that moment, Draco never knew joy like that even existed. It was only later that he discovered that this kind of joy only existed when he was with you.

The first time the words ‘I love you’ graced the space between your lips was when you’d both met at the astronomy tower at midnight. The stars were twinkling beautifully, but even so Draco couldn’t keep his eyes off you. You blushed, refusing to meet his eye. You were always insecure, which baffled Draco immensely. How could you believe any other girl is anywhere close to being as pretty as you? There’s not another woman on the face of this Earth that compares to you, and you would often giggle and tell him to stop when he would begin his long ‘you’re the most beautiful girl’ rant. You had led Draco to believe, that maybe he and Harry could find peace. You were in fact, the only thing they had in common. The words fell right out of his mouth before he could pause to give them any thought. “I love you,” The air seemed to stiffen around him, crushing him as he watched you. You didn’t hesitate.

“I love you Draco.” It was the best moment of his life.

Draco will never forget the first time he was allowed to see the beauty of your bare skin. You’d think it would be easier to find places to be alone in this great big castle, eventually Draco had settled for the edge of the Black Lake- far from the castle. The journey out to the Lake had started innocently, the both of you quite enjoyed star gazing and spending your evenings together. You’d been sitting next to him, watching the large tentacles of the monster that lives in the Lake toss you things from the depths. You really did have a way in bringing out the good in everything, you’d even managed to befriend the monster that lives in the Lake. “Wow look at this,” your voice was quiet with amazement as you turned over a beautiful amulet in your hands. It was simple, silver chain with a white gem that shone as brightly as the moon. The Lake monster had given it to you, and Draco remembers the soft sigh that left your lips as his hands graced the back of your neck, fastening the amulet.

Draco remembers the delicate way you turned to face him, how your eyes never left his as you carefully slid onto his lap. Your hands were placed on his shoulders as your lips met in a slow and languid kiss. The searing heat built between you two and seemed to draw your most intimate parts together. Without realizing, you’d begun to gently grind against Draco- drawing out soft moans from his lips. Never before had Draco felt this kind of desire for another person. His hands slid up your back and carefully removed each layer of clothing that was in between him and your bare skin. Your skin was flushed as Draco’s lips explored your naked body, carefully turning you over so that he would hover above you. You gripped fistfuls of the grass as Draco had found his home in between your legs, laving your sensitive folds with his tongue and mouth. It felt like heaven, and he knew it did. He could see it on your face, and you looked so beautiful.

The desire burning inside you began to beat between your legs like a drum as you pulled Draco back up your body. Nuzzling his nose against yours, Draco slipped the head of his member in between your folds. The thought of hurting you made him feel sick to his stomach, but with a few gentle words of encouragement from you, he was gently working himself inside your tight heat. The feeling was incomparable, indescribable, suffocating, and intoxicating all at the same time. Draco knew that here on the grass, between your legs, was somewhere he wanted to be forever. If he could capture this moment in something more than his minds eye he would, he wants this memory to live forever. He rocked into you again and again, losing himself in the way your body felt against his. Never had Draco felt so connected to another person, you had him, mind body and soul. He was falling into that pit now, no doubt about it, and there was no way out. He was head over heels in love, not that he minded.

Draco would do anything to keep you safe, and he really means that.

Draco had grown distant from you this year, mostly because of the swirling black tattoo on his left forearm. The Dark Mark. He knew in an instant that you had to stay as far from him as humanly possible, and while he tried to stay away, he was weak and kept falling back into your embrace. He needed to convince you to stay away from him, and if he couldn’t...then he had to make you. You’d confronted him this evening, with tears in your eyes and a tremble in your hands. You wanted, needed, to know what was going on. Why he felt so far away from you. So Draco pressed a kiss to your forehead, took your hand, and led you here. To the Astronomy tower, a place where so many monumentous things happened between you. This would be the perfect place to say goodbye.

You staggered back when he lifted his sleeve. The breath was stolen from your lungs when you saw the Dark Mark, writhing and wriggling on his arm. Tears built in your eyes as you looked at him, his name falling past your broken lips. How could this have happened? How could he let this happen? You wanted to scream, to tear your hair out, to cry, to do anything but your body wouldn’t let you. You simply stood frozen before him, feeling as though the most powerful force in the world was tearing the two of you apart. The next words out of his mouth shattered you beyond repair.

“You need to stay away from me, for your own good. And for Harry’s.” It was the first time he’d ever used Harry’s first name, that’s how you knew he really meant this. But you couldn’t, you loved Draco with every ounce of your heart, how could you leave him? You shook your head vehemently, tears now free falling down your cheeks. “I-I can’t.” You gasped, watching a pained expression cross onto Draco’s face. He didn’t want to do this, he really didn’t want to do this but the thought of you getting tortured or killed by Voldemort replays in his mind. He couldn’t put you in danger, not for something so selfish, not because he loves you. It’s because he loves you that he’s willing to let you go, that he’s willing to make this sacrifice if it means keeping you safe.

When he turns to you again, his wand is raised and the look on his face is one you’ve never seen before. His hand is trembling, his eyes look hollow and his mouth is quivering. He looks desperate, he looks distraught, but most of all, he looks broken. “Draco,” You whisper, tears in your eyes as you look up at him, your hand finding the railing behind you. “You have to stay away from me.” Draco gasps, desperately fighting tears.

“Please don’t do this.” Your voice is weak, you know what’s coming next. You’re smart enough to connect the dots.

Draco’s hand wavers, “I have to.” His voice is final, but his body looks as though it’s falling apart. Thoughts of him facing what he must face, without your love, sends panic through your chest. He’ll have to endure the pain, the struggles, all of it, alone. You want to be there for him, you don’t care about the danger. Draco knows you don’t, that’s why he has to do this.

“Baby please, I love you.” You cry desperately, and Draco feels his heart burning to dust in his chest as he looks down at you. “I love you too.” He breathes, closing his eyes and steeling his nerves for what he is going to do next. “Draco!” Your voice comes out as a cry of desperation, and you lurch forward. But Draco is faster.

“Obliviate.” He whispers the word into the open air, watching as you halt, your tearful eyes locked on his. “Draco,” You whisper as a light of blue slips from your head and into the tip of Draco’s wand. Your hands drop to your sides, and your eyes fall flat, looking through him now, seeing him as everyone else does. Your face is empty, expressionless as you watch him. Lowering his wand, Draco slips your memories into the vial as you blink in confusion before sending him a nervous smile. You look around briefly, before reaching over to grab your coat. You brush past Draco without looking at him again, offering a hollow ‘goodnight’ over your shoulder as you go. Draco feels empty, emptier than he ever has. It’s only now that he lets a tear slide down his cheek.

His hands were shaking as he leaned over the railing, the cool wind chilling him. The view laid out before him doesn’t hold any beauty in it anymore, and it feels as though all the color has drained from the world. Grasping the vial tightly in his hand, Draco squeezes his eyes shut before throwing it as hard as he could over the edge of the astronomy tower. He watches with bleary eyes as the vial of your memories, the vial containing your love for him disappears into the Black Lake. This is the right thing to do, but Draco can’t fight how wrong it feels. He knows now that he’ll never be the same, but he turns anyway. Straightens his suit, wipes his tears, and begins the journey back to his common room.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy smut #draco x reader #draco x you #harry potter #harry potter smut #hogwarts #sad smut #Sad Imagine #obliviate #gentle smut #bittersweet

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archaneanscribe · 3 years

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Finally Taking the Trip to Jupiter

Vague spoilers for MGS4. Also xtremely fucking sad fair warning lol

“Snake... Dave?” Hal immediately corrected himself upon entering the room. The veteran’s (finally they could use that term, with there truly being no fights left to fight) request to drop the codenames they had maintained for nearly a decade had been a little sudden, but entirely understandable, “We think we’ve found a place to stay, for the moment. A nice house, close enough to a town that Sunny can go to school in, but far enough ouy most folks will leave us alone.”

David simply nodded- taking a deep breath that would normally be an intake of smoke into his lungs, but he was sincere in his declaration of quitting. Even if it wasn’t for very long, he could do that much for Sunny and Hal, after all this time. The tech wiz stood awkwardly in the doorframe, posture so closed in on himself David would see the gangly nerd he once was before he had started spending more time eating and moving around than seated in front of a computer.

He still did plenty of that, but years on the run had shifted the ratio considerably until just recently.

“Out with it, Hal,” he croaked out in a voice that was becoming increasingly unfamiliar to both of them. This seemed to shock his companion out of his own thoughts, and he finally moved closer.

“Ah, well, you see- what do you want for your last name, Dave? You know I’ll be formalizing Sunny’s adoption, which means we’ll finally be obtaining,” emphasis was put on the word, because in reality it meant forging, “papers for her, and I thought you’d probably be in need of some too. We can use whatever is on your birth certificate, but if you want to pick something out yourself...”

A smile formed under Dave’s mustache.

“I already know what I’m using.”

Hal perked up, “You do? What is it?”

With the same simple, to the point gruffness he would never quite be rid of, the one legendary soldier answered in a single word.

“Emmerich.”

All sounds except the Nomad’s machinery working overtime on her last voyage and David’s unfortunately heavy breathing ceased for an eternally long moment, Hal’s face journeying between every emotion he possessed. Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes, and his attempt to stifle his sniffles failed.

He probably wouldn’t have admitted it at the beginning, but something David had always loved about Hal was his ability to keep crying. No matter the hardships he faced, the traumas, the evils and cruelties he bore witness too, he didn’t run out of tears. His compassion was a well that ran deep, and those tears were just a result of it overflowing.

“Dave...of, of course,” his expression betrayed some amusement past the waterworks, “Do you want me to list you as my brother, or-”

“You know exactly what it’s going to say, Hal.”

They both laughed now, such different sounds than it was just a year ago even. David had been sitting on the edge of the bed, and Hal had been across the room, but that distance closed as Hal kneeled on the floor, placing his hands on David’s knees. It was a gesture that David had previously classified as pitying, but he knew better, now.

It wasn’t for his comfort at all.

“Thank you, David.”

David had half a mind to ask what it was like to kiss an old man with a mustache, but they didn’t have the time for jokes like that anymore, so he just closed his eyes and enjoyed it.

---

The eyeroll David had given when Hal told him the name of the town they’d be living in was named Jupiter was so legendary it surpassed his previous exploits with ease. But, despite how silly it was, he couldn’t deny the warmth in his chest.

They’d gotten their trip to Jupiter, just a little late.

Jupiter, Washington, was as small as a small mountain town got. It didn’t even have an elementary school for Sunny to attend (she was bussed to the neighboring, larger town). Most residents were the descendants of the people who had first lived there, so their new faces stuck out for awhile, but they eventually concluded what was essentially the truth, albeit missing some key details, and moved on- they were just two retirees, hoping to live out what was left of the older one’s life in peace with their orphaned granddaughter, nothing exciting.

Hal laughed at how huffy David had gotten at the granddaughter comments.

For the first month, their time there was peaceful. Content. Happy.

The second month, David starting being able to spend less and less time out of bed.

In the third month, he took Hal aside.

“You should stop sleeping in the same bed as me.”

His husband was a genius, he knew exactly why, but he still asked anyway.

“Don’t make me say it.”

That he didn’t want Hal to wake up one sunny spring morning cuddling a corpse.

Tears were shed, as they always were, but he complied nonetheless. All of David’s belongings were transferred to the guest bedroom (Hal had tried to convince him to stay in the master bedroom, it was more comfortable, but David was adamant- that was where Hal would be staying in the future, and he didn’t want his ghost lingering in the air whenever he slept).

On the first day of the fourth month, right after sending Sunny off to school, Hal told him they were getting a dog for her.

“She loves those chickens, and I thought she might like another pet.”

“Or is it to replace me?” he asked, morbid mirth nearly buried under the pure gravel that had become his voice, “Seems to fit perfectly.”

Hal’s eyes, sad and weary, seemed to want nothing to do with this conversation, but he participated for his partner’s sake, “How so?”

“It’ll bark at strangers, bite the hand that feeds, and just generally be a pain in your ass.”

Despite himself Hal did laugh, not entirely bitter, “We’ll train it better than that.”

“Don’t train it too well. Won’t remind you enough of me.”

Fifth month, they had a dog. Rex, a joke on two layers- a name so common it was funny, and a reminder of one man’s shame that he’d never quite shake off. Not a husky, because while that would please David, they’d be keeping it long term and that level of energy just wouldn’t suit their needs. Rex was an adolescent Golden Retriever.

The dog of the American dream.

Almost like he could tell David wouldn’t be around long enough to justify getting attached, Rex mostly ignored him. The feeling was mutual.

Sunny loved them both dearly, and that was enough.

---

They had been there half a year, and Sunny made them breakfast. Her specialty, eggs fried to methodical perfection, toast just a little browner than anyone would like, maple sausage microwaved for ten seconds more than the instructions said just to make sure they were thoroughly cooked, and a glass of pulpless orange juice tucked precariously into the crook of her arm as she carried the meal to Uncle Dave’s bedroom.

It was two minutes after Hal watched Sunny depart from the kitchen that he heard a loud crash, glass and ceramic shattering, followed by Rex’s insistent barking and whining. He was on his feet and rushed to the scene, fearing the worst and finding exactly that.

“Oh, Sunny... Sunny...”

“U-Uncle H-Hal,” she barely managed through her cries. Rex, to his credit, ignored the food on the ground and nuzzled at her face, whining, confused and upset by the noises of unparalleled distress his beloved human was emitting. Stifling his own grief, Hal went over to the young girl and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly.

He didn’t do a great job at holding that grief in after all.

“Sunny, Sunny, Sunny... I’m so sorry... I should have checked up on him when I woke up... It’s okay, Sunny...”

“H-He’s d-d-dead. J-Just,” her stutter was exacerbated by her choking sobs, “J-Just l-like my m-mother.”

The downside of having such a bright child was that you couldn’t shield them from life’s harsh realities that easily. There was no convincing Sunny that Uncle Dave was with the birds in the clouds, or any other such comforting tale.

He was dead and gone, and she knew that.

---

The gravestone read:

David Emmerich

Beloved father and husband.

All three of those titles were ones he had only worn for six months, but he had worn them with honor.•

#otasune #snotacon #jupiter family #sunny emmerich #hal emmerich #otacon #solid snake #mgs #mgs4 #metal gear solid #metal gear solid 4 #fanfic #fanfiction #suu's scribbles #this shit made me so sad to write i literally cried planning it #i have only watched most of mgs4 not played it thats why the spoilers are vague lol

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simplysimpingsimp · 3 years

Note

Hey! This is the person who requested the sleeping recovery scenario. It turned out perfect!!! Your writing is literally amazing!!!

I hope you don't mind another request but I can't get the idea of Zenitsu's partner becoming a demon slayer because of him out of my head. I think a drabble would fit well so how about Zenitsu's reaction to his partner (still they/them) coming back from final selection only to find out that being by his side was the main reason they joined the corps.

Thank you in advance and don't make sure to take care of yourself!

Hiya again Anon!! Ahh I’m so glad you enjoyed your previous request and I’m so happy to hear another request from you <3 your kind words mean so much to me :,D I really like this prompt ! So you definitely shall have this !! As always I’m super sorry for any mistakes, I will gladly go back and fix them!!

🌻—————————————————————🌻

🌻𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚈𝚘𝚞

🌻𝚉𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚜𝚞 𝚡 𝙶𝚗!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

🌻𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚜: 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖

🌻⚠︎︎⚠︎︎⚠︎︎𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝚆: 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍⚠︎︎⚠︎︎⚠︎︎

🌻—————————————————————🌻

“Zenitsu,

Can you believe that it’s been nearly 2 years since we were last together? It’s almost time for me to go through the final selection! I know you’re probably screaming right now or even pacing around wherever you may be at the thought of me facing something dangerous but I feel like I could do it! I’ve been training under a man named Urokodaki Sakonji, Tanjiro might have told you about him before. Though he had some hesitations at the start, I think I won him over hehe! Anyway, I’ll be going through the final section in about a week. I know I’ll be okay, so don’t worry too hard about me, okay? I love you Zeni and I’ll see you soon, I promise.

Yours, Y/n.”

The fated week had passed since he had gotten the parchment with their name signed in the same fancy way they always did and the signature f/c ribbon that held the folds of the paper in a neat square and a small dried and pressed branch of wisteria together.

Zenitsu felt it in his heart that they had reached the wisteria surrounded location. For the next seven nights and days, he prayed for their safety and for them to just survive, hoping that they wouldn’t die attempting to be a hero to someone who wouldn’t do the same for them. When he would lay in bed, he caught himself gripping onto the ribbon attached to the parchment and the small wooden charm they gave him before they began their search for someone who could train them, murmuring all his wishes and prayers for them onto the material gifts as if they had any say in Y/n’s safety.

He knew he didn’t have to worry so hard yet he couldn’t help it. His heart yearned for their return and their loving embrace again, to be able to hear their heartbeat again, to make up for that lost time.

Every night he would be on the brink of tears as nightmare filled dreams invaded the usual happy dreams he had of a peaceful life with Y/n where they would frolic happily in fields of clover and daises and he would make them adorable crowns and jewelry from the cream toned clovers. Picturing their smiling face and that loving pink hue that painted their cheeks when they would look at him filled the void in his heart and arms.

His nightmares distorted that image, often portraying their face beaten and bloodied as they took their final breaths with a demon hovering above them preparing to devour them. In those dreams he would feel himself running towards them yet he never moved forward seemingly stuck in place, his arms desperately reaching out for them but he could never reach them. He’d wake up in cold sweats with a chill running down his spine, longingly looking to his side where Y/n would usually be.

Morning came, with the sun rising and the gentle coo of birds alerting passerbies of the morning sun and hour of the day.

Zenitsu anxiously paced the wooden home they had been staying in near Urokodaki’s home where Y/n would arrive if they survived.

His steps resounded against the looming silence and anxious atmosphere of the building as his hands gripped the parchment a crow had delivered him two weeks ago.

What if they didn’t come back? What if they had lost a battle? What if they were injured and no one helped them? What would he even do with himself knowing that he couldn’t save them? All were questions he asked himself repeatedly, sabotaging any glimmer of hope and calmness he had.

He had been told that only 6 came back from the final selection, but no one ever described who was among them. Panicked, he gripped his hair as he almost screamed from the sheer overwhelming thoughts filling his head of news of their death and the idea of never being able to hold them much less see them again.

“Calm down Zenitsu,” Tanjiro’s voice was soft as he placed a hand on his shoulder, “You know they’re a fighter. I’m sure they’ll be back soon.” Tanjiro’s smile was reassuring yet Zenitsu couldn’t help but worry.

“You’re right, you’re right, thank you Tanjiro..” the blond’s voice was soft as he returned a worried smile to Tanjiro.

“Let’s head over to Urokodaki-San’s, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind us waiting over there,” Tanjiro spoke as Zenitsu nodded with tears in his eyes.

᪥᪥

Exhausted, they trudged along the dirt path leading to Urokodaki’s home. Their sandaled feet dragged up dirt clouds that stained their f/c hakama pants. A white satchel around them carrying their new demon slayer uniform.

“So heavy..” they frowned lightly as they weakly gripped onto the strap of the satchel. It had been so long since they felt the level of exhaustion they felt.

Everything felt sore yet they were still proud of themselves for succeeding, having slayed over 7 demons during their stay and saving at least one person. The joy of being able to see Zenitsu and their friends again had kept them going.

“I’m almost there Zeni,” they whimpered out as they almost fell over due to the pain that coursed through their legs. Weakness in their steps as their vision almost blurred from extreme exhaustion, they hadn’t had a chance to rest at any point during their return back to Urokodaki’s home.

The door to Urokodaki’s home burst open, revealing Zenitsu’s crying face. Tears flowing down from his honey filled eyes, cheeks tainted a deep red as if he had been crying for hours.

“N/n!” He yelled out as he sprinted to their nearly collapsed form, his arms wide open and ready to embrace them.

A tired smile on their face as they used their last burst of energy to run into his arms, closing the gap between them. Y/n collapsed in his embrace, soft sobs coming from their lips and tears flowing down their cheeks, as Zenitsu cried with them.

Urokodaki and Tanjiro joining in on the hug after being called over by them. Zenitsu’s lips kissed all over their face after nuzzling his cheek on theirs.

His gentle honey gaze looking at the bandage wrapped across their forehead and their hand bandaged as well, a light pout on his lips.

Zenitsu carried them back to the house where he had been staying.

“Thank you for carrying me,” their voice soft and groggy from exhaustion as their arms lazily laced around his neck.

He soon reached the home, settling them down on an already prepared bed. Zenitsu quickly left to bring over the meal he worked so hard to prepare for them.

They giggled weakly at the sight of him preparing everything, “You’re so sweet. Thank you, Zeni,” they gently caressed the top of his head before he began to feed them and pamper them all around as Zenitsu would gush over how cool and amazing and adorable Y/n was.

Night slowly reached as the sky became a smokey purple and looming stringy clouds of dusty purple lingered. The stars twinkling overhead and glimmering in joy for their return with the moon watching over the home they rested in.

Zenitsu laid down beside them, his arm carefully wrapped around them for fear of injuring them further.

“Zeni?” Their voice soft and meek as they looked at his peaceful silent form.

His own gaze was on them, lovingly admiring every sight of their gentle expression and the bandages that were on them. Carefully he stroked their cheek as he hummed.

“Remember when two years ago when I told you that I wanted to join the demon slayer corp?”

He nodded, “Mhm,” he brought their body close to his, cuddling and embracing into their warmth.

“I told you that I wanted to join because I wanted to prove that I was strong. But..that’s not the truth. I wanted to join because I wanted to be by your side. I don’t want to be a burden following you guys around without providing anything other than cooking and stuff...and I don’t want you getting distracted from your missions to protect me,” their eyes began to tear up, “Those two years we spent apart felt like an eternity..but you were my motivation to keep pushing forward and bettering myself,” their hand laced with his, “I love you Zenitsu. I always want to be by your side, and I want to be able to protect you the same way you’ve protected me.”

Zenitsu watched them speak, hearing all their words and pulling the depth and meaning in their words. His eyes watered and he began to cry. His heart softened and pounded against his chest with love and admiration for them, trembling in the slightest from the overwhelming happiness he felt. Never had he felt so loved by anyone, the feeling of fortune and gratitude coursing through his veins in a euphoric manner — someone loved him enough to risk their life just to be by his side and to follow him on a life threatening journey for the sake of true love.

He felt so lucky that that someone was the love of his life, Y/n.

Carefully he pulled their body on top of his to hold them closer to his own. His hands gently caressing their sore back.

Gently they wiped away his tears, “I love you,” their smile was gentle and sweet as they pecked his lips delicately.

“I love you too Y/n. Thank you for wanting to be by my side, I always want to be with you too,” he kissed the top of her head, “I love you so very much. One day we’ll be married and we won’t have to slay demons anymore,” he laughed quietly before carefully placing a kiss on their forehead and a quick kiss on their lips. An embarrassed blush on both their faces.

Gentleness in the air filled their hearts with joy of being reunited after not being able to hold each other. His hands delicately ran through their hair as they softly giggled.

“I would like that. I love you Zeni,” they yawned before falling asleep.

A soft smile was on his face before his own eyes began to flutter.

“I love you too, N/n.”

ᴇɴᴅ

🌻—————————————————————🌻

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ғᴏʀ ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛɪɴɢ <3 ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ

ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ! ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ

ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛs/ɪᴅᴇᴀs/ᴀsᴋs/ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ's ᴍᴜᴄʜ

ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ :ᴅ sᴇᴇ ʏᴀʟʟ sᴏᴏɴ <3

ᴘᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛs: 5

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #reader insert #anime x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #Zenitsu #Zenitsu agatsuma #zenitsu x gender neutral reader #kny Zenitsu #demon slayer zenitsu #anime writing blog #kny x gn!reader #gender neutral insert #demon slayer x gender neutral reader #kimetsu no yaiba x gender neutral reader

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glassesandswords · 3 years

Text

Of Wings And Wheelchairs

Pairing: Levi Ackerman & Onyankopon, Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoe (mentioned)

Summary: Levi and Onyankopon sit in a coffee shop, waiting for Gabi and Falco to return from their small detour during their vacation together. Levi reminisces about the old Survey Corps veterans and their times together as Onyankopon listens. Soon, the conversation makes its way to a person the two knew very well- Hange.

Ao3 Link

“Let’s wait here.”

Levi and Onyankopon stopped at a coffee shop. With so many people bustling about, it was hard to find a place to relax for a while, especially with all the walking they had done. Well, at least all the walking that Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco had done- as Levi had been pushed around on a wheelchair by Falco the whole time. But the kids had spotted an ice cream vendor and left together to buy something to eat, and the older men decided to get a quick drink before continuing on with their journey.

The coffee shop had outdoor seating shaded by giant blue umbrellas that flared briskly over the round tables. A florist sold bouquets nearby. The scent of roses and lavenders wafted through the air, mingling with that of roast coffee.

“Are you sure letting Gabi and Falco go off on their own in a foreign land a good idea?” Levi asked as Onyankopon looked around for an empty table.

“They are fifteen now. They will be alright. Us, old men, shouldn’t be interfering with a pair of love-birds, so let them enjoy this vacation on their own.”

“You might be right about that.”

Onyankopon decided on an empty table on the opposite end of the florist and parked Levi next to him as he pulled a chair for himself. “Fifteen, huh?” Levi muttered, adjusting his wheelchair close to the table. “If they were in Paradis, they would have graduated from the cadet corps. But these two- they have had their fill of the battlefield way before that, being Marley’s warrior candidates and all.”

“Yes. That’s why they deserve to live like the carefree and free-spirited children they are right now.”

“Not that any child needs a reason to live like that. They all are equally deserving of happiness.”

“Of course,” Onyankopon called the waiter over to them. “A black tea and a black coffee, please.”

Levi noted how Onyankopon kept his favorite drink in mind and ordered it for him by default. Over the past three years, the two men had bonded over their shared losses and he had been a constant companion for Levi after the war. Onyankopon had helped him start a new life and set up his own tea shop after he retired in Marley, taking care of all the paperwork and technical details required.

“I heard you spent your childhood in the underground district within Wall Sina,” Onyankopon said as he watched the waiter leave with their order. “I wasn’t allowed there due to the restrictions on the volunteers, but I heard it was a rough place to live in.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. That piece of information was hardly common knowledge.

“I think I might have an idea of who babbled to you about that,” the face of a certain four-eyed abnormal popped up on Levi’s mind. “Yes. I was raised as a thug in order to survive that hellhole.”

“Did you have anyone close to you at that time? Your parents? Any siblings?”

Usually, Levi would have found it annoying if people dug into his past. But with Onyankopon, he did not really mind. “I was an only child,” he replied, leaning back on his wheelchair, “My mother died when I was young and the closest thing I had to a father was an uncle who abandoned me as soon as he realized that I could take care of myself.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s an old story,” he waved his pity off, “I did have two close friends there. Farlan and Isabel. They were as good as a brother and sister to me.” A fond remembrance flitted over his face, as if he could see them in his mind’s eye as he spoke. “The three of us thought life above the ground, in a land touched by the sun would be better. Turns out it is all the same.”

It wasn’t hard for Onyankopon to make out that Farlan and Isabel were probably no more from how Levi’s voice dipped. He changed the topic to something lighter.

“But you finally retired from all your duties and responsibilities. How does it feel to go on vacations to foreign countries?”

“I’m surprised you are dragging me along. Not like I could be of any service anyway, after being permanently bound to this wheelchair,” Levi tapped on the metal armrest.

“You are too humble, Levi,” Onyankopon shook his head, “I’ve seen you offering guidance to Armin and the others whenever they need it.”

“I help them as much as I can, but in the end, it is nothing more than an old man’s advice.” Levi sighed, remembering a certain someone’s soliloquy in a forest. “Times have changed and perspectives are different. After the rumbling ended, Armin offered me retirement and I took it. But even if I were in top shape, I honestly don’t think I would want to do anything with the Alliance anymore.”

Onyankopon watched Levi as he gazed at the busy road. The man looked broken, like he had lost way too much in life. He reminded him of some of the volunteers who had seen their families killed and hometowns destroyed in front of their own eyes. For previously being known as ‘Humanity’s strongest soldier’, Onyankopon had not seen Levi in action a lot. But the way he held himself together during that day- exactly three years ago, after Odiha- was a testament to his immense internal strength. The man in front of him was a fighter, but the fight had taken its toll on him.

The waiter arrived with steaming drinks and served it on the table.

“How do you drink that bitter bean-juice?” Levi asked as Onyankopon took a careful sip, trying not to burn his tongue in the scalding liquid.

“Six years and you still haven’t warmed up to coffee, have you?”

“I prefer tea, usually that of my own shop.” He sipped his tea, holding it by the rim with his left hand. “But I have to admit, the aroma of coffee is quite enticing.” His voice went back to its hazy tone. “Mike would have liked it. That guy had a sharp nose for things like these.”

Though Onyankopon did not know the details, he knew Mike was probably one of Levi’s previous comrades.

Levi had a habit of talking about his fallen comrades now and then. He did not seem to care if the other person knew them personally or not. Onyankopon assumed that it was to remember and acknowledge their existence and stories, being the last living veteran from his original group.

He heard about the battle of Shiganshina that resulted in the complete decimation of the earlier Survey Corps and wondered if Mike was one of the people who died there. Or maybe he had been one of the many unfortunate victims who were killed by the hands of the pure titans long before. Onyankopon felt a small stab of guilt for following Zeke, who had caused nothing but pain for Levi and the rest of the Survey Corps, but he had his own circumstances. Choosing sides had blinded them from appealing to their common humanity, until Yelena had revealed to him the plan to offer assistance to Paradis before their first scouting expedition six years ago. He had almost convinced himself that the Paradis military would crush them with their titan power before they could put forth that proposal, but then, a certain Survey Corps Commander gave them the warmest welcome they could have received in the island of ‘devils’.

“Brings back memories,” he hummed over his coffee, “Remember, the first time we chatted was over a cup of tea in that tent?”

“Ah yes,” Levi nodded grimly, “Another one of that person’s stupidly optimistic ideas. It was a surprise that you volunteers actually agreed to it.”

There was a silence as Onyankopon knew exactly who he was referring to.

Levi sipped his tea. “Honestly, they’d come up with the most reckless ideas, that Four-eyes.”

Onyankopon gave a small, sad smile. It seemed safe to talk about them. “I have to admit,” he said slowly, “I was shocked when they pointed the barrel of that gun over their one good eye, even if it was unloaded.”

“You don’t know half the trouble Hange caused back in the Survey Corps,” Levi shook his head disapprovingly. “Always blabbing about their latest hypotheses. Putting my entire squad in danger for another titan capture mission. They’d have had their head bitten off by a titan long ago if it wasn’t for their trusty assistant, Moblit. Hell, they went days without taking a damned bath just because something more interesting caught their attention. Sometimes, when I couldn’t bear the stink, I had to knock them out and clean them myself.”

Onyankopon chuckled at his ramble. He had observed Levi and Hange’s inseparable relationship from his time at Paradis. Maybe it was because they were the last ones to survive from their generation, or maybe it extended a little deeper than that. Onyankopon was not completely sure. He gazed at the long scar across Levi’s face, crossing through his one blind eye. If Hange were there, the two of them would have made quite the one-eyed pair.

But Hange wasn’t there as they had sacrificed themself so that he and Levi could sit in peace under a blue umbrella, drinking hot beverages on a sunny day without worrying about anything else.

Levi was still rambling on, “...all those stupid naming ceremonies for the captured titans. At least three Garrison guards used to throw up after each of their experiments. The tantrums they’d throw in Erwin’s office whenever he denied their requests. That Four-eyes once talked to me about titans and their planned experiments for two days straight after we first found out about Eren’s abilities. Can you believe it? Two days!”

There was a bitter aftertaste in Levi’s mouth and he knew it had nothing to do with the tea. A memory of Hange floated in his mind, of them carefully dabbing medicated cotton over Eren’s face after he had kicked the hell out of him in the courtroom all those years ago. He remembered Hange chiding him for having gone too far and declaring that they’d never kill Eren.

His stomach twisted at the irony of how everything played out in the end.

Onyankopon’s voice stirred him out of his thoughts. “It must have been hard for them to pursue their scientific research after they became the commander.”

“It did take a huge toll on them,” Levi agreed, “Erwin’s shoes would have been hard for anyone to fill. But he himself chose them as his successor and they did their job well, even if all odds were against them.” He gave a short sigh through his nose. “But over the years, they changed too much.”

Levi had noticed all the times when Hange had faked a smile to cover up their exhaustion. They tried to maintain their cheerful façade through all the uncertainty to keep their subordinates from becoming concerned about their mental well-being, but from his time with the past two commanders, Levi knew the bone-crushing pressure they were under.

He had spotted the missing tea from his shelf during all those late nights when Hange had fallen asleep on their desk after pulling multiple all-nighters. Although they weren’t new to burning the midnight oil, the commander’s work was grueling. Adding to that, the knowledge and responsibility of dealing with an entire world full of potential enemies weighed them down incredibly. Only he knew how tired and defeated Erwin had looked during his last moments with him. In a way, the role demanded much more from Hange than it did from Erwin himself.

“You mean they were more excitable before?” Onyankopon asked, “I really did not think they could look more starry-eyed than while they were being introduced to all the new technology from Marley.” He chuckled, “The way they whooped after the success of the new improved 3DMG test session was unforgettable.”

Levi set down his empty cup. “Hange was always a vocal advocate for technological advancement. Their inventions helped to get rid of all the pure titans in the island without much loss of human life. When they were given the hope that the rest of the world was not as cruel as we thought it was- but a place where they could learn and discover- that was when I saw them truly happy for the last time. They hoped to make peace when we left off for our first Marley visit. But we both know how that ended.”

Ah, yes that Marley trip, Onyankopon thought as a tense silence settled between them, The time when everything spiraled out of control. To ease the heavy pauses, he decided to bring up some good memories from back then.

“Remember the time when Hange bought that lollipop from that clown just so that he’d stop stalking you? And the time when they tried to feed carrots to a car?”

Thankfully, it seemed to work as Levi snorted. “Shitty-Glasses was supposed to be the smartest of us all,” he said, “Yet, that was still better than the way they squealed after the camera flash the first time we took a picture in Azumabito's place. Now that was just plain embarrassing.”

Onyankopon smiled. When Levi's squad was out drinking, he had insisted Levi and Hange to take a photograph with himself and the Azumabitos as a keepsake memory of their first official trip outside Paradis. Hopes were ripe that night, with the peace conference scheduled for the next day. To keep their optimism up, they had a small dance session in which Hange had dragged Levi with them and had successfully managed two rounds around the ballroom before Levi remarked that it was ridiculous and sulked in a corner for the rest of the night with a wine glass on hand. After which Hange teased him and invited Onyankopon to give them company instead.

When the camera was ready, they were all suited up- with hats placed on their heads despite the fact that it was evening- just for the sake of the photograph session. Onyankopon knew that the Paradisians had never taken a picture before, so his eyes were on Levi and Hange instead of the camera.

Their reactions did not disappoint.

Hange squealed as the flash lit up the room and Levi flinched, grimacing at its sudden brightness. The photograph was quite comical when it was developed: Hange with their mouth slightly open, Levi with his eyes half closed and Onyankopon’s lips in an amused half-smile as he gazed at them.

“To be honest, you looked quite shaken at the flash yourself,” he pointed out to Levi.

“Yes, but I did not wake up everyone in a fifty mile radius within the building.”

“It didn’t seem to wake the kids up, though.”

“What do you expect? Not even Hange can wake up a bunch of hungover brats who had drank all night and ended up passed out on each other.”

“The three of us had to carry them back, didn’t we?”

“Only for Sasha to puke all over the new suit I wore for the photoshoot.”

Onyankopon laughed at that memory. The waiter came over with the bill and he paid it before Levi could reach for his own wallet.

“I told you before,” he said to Levi as he handed over the money, “This vacation is entirely on me.”

“Thanks,” Levi kept his wallet back inside his pocket, knowing that arguing about it would not change Onyankopon’s mind.

They sat in silence for a while, gazing at the people walking around, exploring the shops. Levi got a few quick stares now and then because of his heavily scarred face, but he did not care. He was used to people staring at him; the annoying looks of envy and awe when he was considered as humanity’s strongest soldier, glares of anger from the military higher-ups after he had brought back Armin instead of Erwin during the battle of Shiganshina, and gazes of pity after he had been severely injured due to the thunder spear, thanks to that shitty monkey.

“I wonder what happened to that photograph,” he murmured, his mind wandering back to that day in Marley.

“It was left in Paradis,” Onyankopon replied, “The militants probably disposed of it along with the rest of our belongings after we were declared traitors. It’s been three years after all.”

Levi’s heart sank. That was the last piece of Hange he had left, apart from the scars they had stitched across his face. If everything was disposed of, that would mean that the badges he had collected from the uniforms of his former comrades, his letters, Hange’s research notes, Moblit’s sketches from the night they visited a bar after work, all of their personal belongings- everything had been burnt or destroyed. Apart from Erwin’s grave, there was nothing left for him back in Paradis- the place the Survey Corps dedicated their lives and hearts for all those years.

He masked his bitterness, “It was just a piece of paper anyway.”

Onyankopon did not say anything. The cost of freedom had been incredibly heavy for both of them.

“It’s been three years, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Levi remembered that moment when the spirits of his comrades appeared in front of him as he sat battered and broken. The old Survey Corps, with whom he had spent so many years fighting, resting, experimenting and pushing through every loss, every death and every failure together. He had finally finished their job. He had taken all of their dedicated hearts with him and won for them.

His final salute both crushed his soul and set him free.

A part of him wanted to depart with them. His duty was done, Zeke was killed, the rumbling was stopped and the world was finally free of titans. What use would he be to anyone anymore?

But he knew that the others would want him to live the life that they couldn’t. To explore the world and all it had to offer. To make the dream of world-peace come true.

So, he decided that he would go on, and when his time finally comes, he would stand tall among his noble comrades and tell them stories of the world they never got to see.

Levi hesitated for a moment before turning to Onyankopon.

“Do you think they’re still watching over us?”

Onyankopon didn’t miss a beat.

“I’m sure they are.”

Gabi and Falco reappeared from the crowd, with half-eaten ice cream cones in their hands. The brats had grown so much since the first time he had seen them, all beaten up and bruised on that zeppelin three years ago. Now they looked happy and content, their eyes shining with hope, optimism and love.

Hange’s words from all those years ago played in his mind.

I want everyone to feel safe again soon. I want this to be a world where people can live without fighting each other.

There was still a long way to go for that, but with the threat of the titans gone, they only had humans to negotiate with. Though that probably did not make it any easier, peace was still an option. He’d leave that to Armin and Historia.

Erwin and Hange would have loved it here. All the new places and technology, exotic food, new discoveries; it would have blown their minds. Sometimes, he wondered what would have happened if that bastard Floch did not show up to shoot holes in that fuel tank. Hange would have been alive, they would have boarded the plane together, they could have seen the flying titan and the previous titan shifters. It might have probably returned them to their normal, curious self again.

They could have survived together.

What would Hange have done now that the titans, their life’s work, were gone forever? The two of them had never really discussed such situations, for they never imagined such a day would actually come to be. For them, a world without the threat of titans was a distant fantasy. But if Hange were alive, they’d have probably headed the peace talks. They were never the one to stay out of the action anyway.

“Sorry, we were a little late,” Falco said as he approached them, “Shall we go?”

“Sure, no problem.”

Falco popped the rest of the ice cream in his mouth before silently pulling the wheelchair by its handle without being prompted to. He was a sweet kid. Erwin, Hange and the rest of his old squad- Petra, Oulo, Eld, Gunther- would have liked him.

Levi picked up a newspaper from a vendor, to see if there were any mentions of the peace committee who had set sail for Paradis earlier that day. As they made their way through the street, he winced as the wheel stumbled over a small pothole.

“I’m so sorry,” Falco exclaimed.

“No, that’s fine,” he rubbed his back. “Times like these are when I really miss Four-eyes.”

Onyankopon laughed, “They’d have come up with a crazy convenient wheelchair, custom-made for you.”

“Knowing them, they would have probably attached an engine and the 3DMG trigger-anchor system complete with a safety belt into the wheelchair,” he shook his head. “Then again, I think they might have also pushed me down a slope as a test run, so maybe I’m safer this way.”

A distant hum of an engine made all of them look above.

A plane, similar to the one they had taken off from in Odiha, flew past the sky, its shadow falling on them as it streaked by.

For the kids, it was just another ordinary plane they stared fascinated at. But for him, something about it felt reassuring.

It was almost as if…

Levi glanced at Onyankopon, who gave him a knowing look.

So, they were watching us after all.

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoë #onyankopon #snk 139 #snk 132 #onyankopon and levi drink coffee and tea together in a vacation #featuring plane-san #retired levi #the sc vets were the best characters tbh #i miss them #fluff #snk fanfiction

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