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redr0sewrites · 2 months

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Can you write Vox x reader where like the reader just says like really unhinged things and just like vile things whenever they rage and stuff like the internet could be slow or smth and the reader is just like “IM GOING TO RIP OFF MY SKIN” idk man I’m kinda just self projecting rn like you can right anything with it tbh idk sorry for rambling anyway you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna

THIS IS SO MEEEEE I LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this i have over 70 hazbin hotel requests in my inbox 😭

🥀Cw: fluff, crack, silly vox

when he first met you, vox was charmed by your seemingly sweet nature- that is, until you were pissed

your unholy screech of how you were going to rip off your skin if he cut the wifi again was both endearing and confusing in his eyes

vox would just short circuit for a second, just blinking at you while he tries to process what you just said

once it clicks, he just starts giggling. vox very rarely genuinely laughs, most of his laughs are professional or part of the persona he adopts as the leader of vox enterprises, but when he's so shocked by what you just said, he can't control the booming laughter thay fills the room

he's wheezing and gasping, each barking laugh only pissing you off more

"what's so funny? if you keep laughing i am going to fucking break ur fingers like carrot sticks!" you snap, and vox only giggles harder

after a few seconds, you can't help but notice how adorable his laughter is, and soon you don't mind it as much

once you two are officially together, you notice how stressed vox often is, yet how he seems to visibly relax around you

the batshit crazy things you say, which normally disgusts other people, only seem to amuse him

its actually a wonderful dynamic because you bring some spontaneity and slight insanity into vox's otherwise irritating and depressing lifestyle, and vox balances out the crazy things you say and calms you down every time

you often find yourself searching for new phrases to baffle him with, and for new ways to make him laugh

after vox has a stressful day, he enjoys just listening to you ramble about the most insane things and adores hearing whatever fucked up saying you've adopted recently

vox notices himself beginning to copy your speech patterns. he only begins to realize when he slips in an exceptionally odd metaphor into a work meeting and everyone stares at him, yet his heart skips a beat at the thought

there's something so charming to him about the fact that he's adopting your mannerisms, and you truly make him laugh when no one else can

whenever another one of the vees pisses him off, he always comes to you for advice on incredibly deranged comebacks, and you never disappoint!

he's won multiple arguments by just repeating one of your fucked up sayings and the other vees being too lowkey shocked to disagree

vox LOVES IT when you diss people he hates, hearing you ramble some fucked up insults about alastor made him fall in love with you all over again

"that worm on a string fucked up karen cut bob looking ass- if i see him around here again im going to eat a fucking brick" *cue vox looking at you with the biggest heart eyes*

overall, you are both menaces, but you're menaces in love ♥️

vox lay with his head in your lap, the blue light of his screen illuminating the dim room as you rambled mindlessly about your day.

"and THEN, this fucking asshole tried to flirt with me! ME!! as if he doesn't know were dating! ugh, it makes me feel like i have an entire beehive living beneath my skin. i swear if he even looks at me again im going to lick wet cement i can NOT deal. how can you even work with him? he's such a fucking CREEP voxy, i'm going to cut off those ugly ass wings and shove them so far down his throat- hey, are you even listening?"

you look down to see vox half asleep, his eyelids drooping as his light dimmed. "keep talking.." he murmurs, looking up at you with a lazy smile on his face. "you're my favorite person t' listen to.."

i love the idea of vox with a partner who challenges his very idea of power. he clearly wraps himself in a sort of persona, surrounding himself with powerful people and acting like he's so serious and important. i love the idea of him falling in love with someone who can break down his walls in seconds, someone who can dismantle his entire bravado act and who allows him to truly be himself. this is such a wonderful prompt and i am eating this up. nonnie ur awesome!!!!

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anothersugarbabb · 1 year

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Alpha! Izuku x Omega! Male reader

°•______________________________________________•°

Part one

⚠️ this is contains violence but not a clear description of it. And descriptions of sex, but it's pretty brief

I don't really care if you're fem aligned and you choose to read this, just don't interact pls

A/n: I literally deleted the entirety of the last one and that might be my 13th reason. Also, this isn't proofread, do don't @ me for any mistakes, I apologize 😔

°•______________________________________________•°

Izuku was pushed up against the wall by someone he considered to be a "friend".

Katsuki was seething with anger, his face red and his jaw clenched.

"What's wrong? Are you mad?" Izuku said in an almost mocking tone.

"Am I mad?! DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDN'T FIND OUT??!!"

Izuku closed his eyes and smiled, "No, no, no. I knew you would eventually. But I wanted to speed up the process."

Almost on cue, everyone in the class got a notification on their phones. And not even three seconds later, there was a wave of shocked gasps and loud moans coming from someone's phone.

Katsuki whipped his head around, "TURN THAT SHIT OFF-"

"Why don't you see it, hm?" Izuku asked from below him.

Katsuki turned to him and saw his brother, on his screen, naked, bruised, and bent over what he assumed to be his desk, moaning. A single glance and everything was red. He started punching and punching and punching. At some point he didn't even know what it was.

Soon he was lifted and as he thrashed around, Izuku laughed and laughed. He laughed at his fury, he laughed at his brother and the embarrassment he brought upon him.

••••

After, they were both removed from the classroom, Izuku going to the nurse and Katsuki going to the principal's office.

Katsuki felt numb, so numb that he didn't even notice his now frail little brother wrapping his arms around him and rocked the two of them back and forth.

Soon enough though he came back to his senses and looked at (m/n) sorrowfully. He looked at his stomach and thought about how his future of being a hero alongside his big brother was over.

All because of that damn Deku.

"I heard about what happened.." (m/n) finally spoke up.

"Yeah... I'm sorry"

They stayed in silence for a few more minutes.

"I didn't know that's what he was doing behind me, I'm so sorry.."

Katsuki heard his brother's voice and crack and it nearly broke his heart. He held (m/n) close as he cried into his chest for what felt like hours but was in reality, about five minutes.

Their moment was interrupted when they heard a knock on the door.

And who stood in the doorway?

None other than, Izuku.

(m/n) turned his head away from him and didn't even try to look up, his breathing quickened, but he was soothed when his older brother rubbed small heated circles onto his back.

"Are you proud of what you've done to my brother?" Katsuki questioned. He didn't know what kind of an answer to expect, a snarky one? A nonchalant one?

Not this one though.

"No I don't know, but I wanted to apologize to (m/n). I-"

"I refuse to leave you in the same room as my little brother. Not after what you've done to him."

Izuku pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "How am I supposed to know what I did if you won't even let me talk to him? I can't read minds you know. So, please, let me talk to him."

Just as Katsuki was about to say something, he felt (m/n) push off of him and sit himself upright in his chair.

"If y-you want to t-talk, then l-let's talk."

°•______________________________________________•°

A/n: Another cliff hangerrrrrr sorry. I deadass almost didn't make this, literally because I lost the entirety of the first one and that dove deeper into what happened in the classroom before Katsuki threw hands. And I'm sorry this was short

Anyways, yuh, I hope you enjoyed! I am taking requests so you can send some in, I don't have a rules page up, but for rn, anything goes and anyone (from mha, jjk, csm, and genshin) goes. I don't feel like making a rules page rn, sorry

#mha x male reader #mha x reader #izuku x male reader #omega male reader #omegaverse #katsuki bakugo mha #izuku mydoria

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onlyseokmins · 1 year

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idiot • h.j.s.

Pairing: joshua hong x afab!reader

Genres: mentions of smut (minors dni!), fwb!au, swearing but fluff and comfort basically

Warnings: menstrual cramps, food, swearing, and beloved idiots haha

WC: tumblr mobile idrk haha just a blurb

A/N: Sorry randomly thought of this while leaving work - in the middle of a Hoshi fic lmaooo okay I wanted to do smth angsty but I need love rn and haven't finished smth this fast in months and not really smut but anyways, imagine a fwb!relationship with Joshua but not quite...

↪ 7/14/23 update: loosely based prequel

It's like you're not really friends but you do have the benefits of fucking the hot man that drifts to and from different social circles among the large friend groups you mingle about and share.

You know his favorite color of lingerie that he'll rip off immediately, shoving your panties in his pocket ("for later," he winks and promises to buy you a new pair every time - he doesn't). But you are sure he doesn't even know your favorite color (it's baby blue, the same color of the shirt he wore when you first met - coincidentally the same one he wore when he seduced and ended up fingering you against the wall of the club's bathroom and then propositioned this arrangement - and like a fool, who are you to say no?).

He's always been nice - too nice. So nice, he's aloof at most times. Never letting anyone too close. And you really try not to yearn to be the first one he opens his heart to.

Definitely not.

It's why you're crying in bed one late afternoon, chalking it up to the hormones and cramps that come with mother nature's wrath. There's a gentle knock on your door before the key code is punched in. You think it's Seungkwan, the kind soul who always stops by to bring goodies and solid words of wisdom you never dare act on but no - it's fucking Joshua Hong.

"What are you doing here, I'm on my period."

You're grouchy and while it's not his fault that it's that time of the month, it is his fault that you're even more irritable than normal. Oh, and maybe those stupid feelings or whatever.

"I know."

All he does is simply nod and set down the bags he's carrying, taking stuff out that you realize are pain meds, compresses, ice packs - your cheeks heat up - even a stash of various pads and tampons.

"Seungkwan, that lil bitch."

Joshua turns with a raised eyebrow, holding what you recognize is a takeout container from your favorite restaurant. One that's all the way across town so you rarely go.

"What does this have to do with Seungkwan?"

You sigh. "Look, if he forced you to bring this stuff or somehow blackmailed you, don't worry. I'll chew him out on your behalf later."

He laughs, opening up the food and unwrapping the utensils, waving them in your face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not!"

"You're saying you drove all the way to Seokmin's place to buy that - mind you it's even further of a drive there for you than it is for me - and bought hygienic products?"

"Yeah. I didn't know exactly what to get so I just grabbed everything on the shelf."

"What the fuck, Joshua. Why? I'm not fucking you, I feel like shit. I also look like shit."

He flinches but gives you a glance-over that has you frowning even harder. "I'll admit you do look very pretty with my cock inside of you or when you get all dolled up..."

You roll your eyes and flop back on your bed, rolling over so your back faces him out of spite.

"But you do look hella sweet right now. Even if you're pissed off."

"Don't placate me, I'm not fucking you. I won't suck you off either."

Joshua's soft laugh makes your heart flip-flop. "I'm not here for that. How hard is it for you to believe that I came to really take care of you?"

"If the sun rises in the west tomorrow, I wouldn't be surprised. Clearly you're just a hallucination."

"Did you know hallucinations are our true desires?"

"Where'd you hear such bull crap? Jeonghan?"

"No," he snorts, "but I know you like me."

"I'm not fucking you the next time you want to either. Actually, I might not fuck you ever again."

It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth honestly, especially when he touches your shoulder with a gentleness that shouldn't exist. You glare at him. He smiles.

"That's fine. I mean, I'd like to fuck again sometime in the future but just hanging out is cool too. Maybe even for dates?"

"Maybe you're right. You're nothing but a figment of my imagination."

"Then I'm also right that you like me."

"Do not!" You throw the covers over your head. "Remember, we fuck without feelings, Joshua. And remember who set that rule, Mr. Hong?"

"An idiot did. So what if that idiot changed his mind?"

"He'd still be an idiot."

"... Correct, but may I clarify - an idiot with feelings."

When you emerge and peek out from the blankets, he's fiddling with his fingers nervously.

"Would still be an idiot."

"An idiot that likes you."

"Whatever," you huff but he sees the smile on your lips before you're diving away from sight again.

Relief floods him, knowing he's not wrong - you like him too. Laying gently over your prone body, he hums in content.

"When you feel better let's go on a date." All you do is wiggle beneath him and he smirks. "I'll wear that shirt you like. You know, the blue one."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure, not like you jump me every time I wear it."

"I do not!"

"It's okay, I know a lot more than you can guess but I still think you're cute anyways."

And maybe you realize it's you that doesn't know Joshua all that well. But he seems to think he knows an awfully lot about you. And maybe he does. But you want to prove him wrong.

"Alright, let's go on a date," you peek back out, the blankets a shield between you and him as they're pulled high under your nose. But he's still looking at where your mouth (he's never kissed - yet) would be. Bastard. "Wear that stupid shirt and I'll prove I won't jump you."

His warm brown eyes crinkle playfully. "Sure, let's, I'll buy you a couple of pretty sets like I promised since I ripped so many."

"About time."

He shrugs. "Don't worry, I'll make up for it. I was worried about what you would think it meant but now I don't have to care. I want it to be official."

You take the food from him when he brings it back over. "I guess I do too if you're going to drive so far just to get Seok's delicious food."

"So I'm just an errand boy to you? That's all it took to get to your heart? Seokmin's food?"

Looking at him under your lashes, you bite your lip. "You know it's much more than that..."

Joshua laughs, big and bright - just like the moment he first caught your attention. "And just so you know, I like you much more than you think."

And he'll spend all of his time proving it.

#Actually tagging this bc I'm proud WTF #ez.creates #svthub #joshua smut #joshua hong smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #smut #svt.smut

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angelizs · 1 year

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Hiii I just wanna request something (Srry if ur not taking requests rn) anyways can you do Ruggie,epel,riddle and lilia with a shy s/o who’s love language is physical touch (aka just hugs and cuddles half the time basically)

HII ANON I'm so sorry for taking so long!! I don't even know if you stuck around tho I hope so! and yes, I do take requests but they aren't my priority right now, as I have many other wips I'm working on, so they take forever, as you can see. still, I'm flattered you like my writing so much you'd make me a request! if you're seeing this, I hope you like it <3

Summary: Riddle, Ruggie, Epel and Lilia with a shy S/O whose love language is physical touch (lots of hugs and cuddles)!

Notes: gn!reader, mostly fluff with some angst sprinkled in (mentions of overblots, nightmares and past traumas, but nothing too serious don't worry!), headcanons + short scenarios since a format wasn't specified, hope you enjoy it anon!

Riddle

Riddle isn't used to receiving affectionate touches, so it takes some time for him to get used to your habits. Not that he's complaining! Just... give him some warning next time, okay?

The first time it happened it went like this: Riddle, being the busy dorm leader he is, had a meeting with his dorm students to attend. He was helping you out with a subject you didn't understand and, as much as he loved to spend some quality time with you, he really had to go. As he got up, you did the same. Since you're shy, you'd usually just wave him goodbye with a cute smile, so this was quite unusual. He wasn't expecting to receive a farewell hug.

Riddle froze, unsure of what to do. His whole face was as red as Heartslabyul's roses and he was stiff, hand hovering at his side. Every place that you were touching felt like it was on fire, it was very strange. Still, it was... nice. It was very nice. The pressure from your body holding his, the pure affection transferred from such an act, the feeling of being cared for. It was nice.

You quickly let go of him, cheeks burning as well, and stuttered some parting words before scurrying away. He stood there for some minutes, staring at the spot you had long left, face still red and thoughts running wild.

Riddle wasn't used to this at all, but it was nice, and he couldn't help but crave your touch.

(He was a little out of it during the whole meeting, the scene from earlier repeating on his head. Trey got so worried he ended the meeting halfway through.)

The next times you met, be it on a study date (you'd both deny it was a date though) or a casual hangout, Riddle would expect your farewell hugs, even look forward to them. He made sure to reciprocate them, wrapping his arms around you softly and resting his head against your shoulder, closing his eyes and taking a brief moment to just be there with you and feel loved.

Cuddles would take some more time to happen, since just the hugs were already a huge step for both of you. (Not to mention the casual touches you'd give so freely. A hand on his arms or your head resting against his was enough to make his face burst to flames and his mind be consumed by that single moment).

It was on one of your late night studies session, you were both at Ramshackle's lounge, cups of tea gone cold on your table and books pilling up on each other. The couch was calling for you and your exhaustion from a long day of classes crashed onto you as you listened to Riddle's calm voice explain some potion's formula. Truly, you wanted to hear what he had to say, but you couldn't help but relax near him.

The weight of your head hitting his shoulder made him stop in his tracks and just stay still as he processed the situation. He normally would feel a tinge of irritation from his lecture being cut short, but he couldn't stay mad at you, specially when he saw how tired you were but insisted on keep trying to get the formula right.

Riddle could try to clean up your table, but that would make him move too much and disturb your sleep. When he saw how peaceful you looked, completely safe by his side, he couldn't bring himself to wake you up. Thus he adjusted your positions on the couch, making you both lean down to not put a strain on your neck, and wrapped his arms around your torso to make sure you wouldn't fall in the middle of the night. Just a quick nap and he would be back at his dorm.

You both wake up cuddling the next morning. Both your faces burn in embarrassment and you're quick to get up and apologize, offering to make breakfest for him. He accepts the offer, but as you're having tea together, your hair tousled and your eyes drowsy, he thinks on how it was the best sleep he's had in a while.

From then on, you get a bit more bold in your physical touches, the shyness ebbing away bit by bit when you're near him. He still gets caught off guard at times, but he loves it. From someone who never got such things growing up, it means the world to him how you're willing to show your affection in such a way.

He'll always blush, no matter how much time passes. You find it extremely endearing. Throw in a compliment in the mix and you've got the ultimate combo to fluster and please him at the same time.

Ruggie

Ruggie found it adorable how your shyness contrasted his shamelessness. He thought you two made for quite the pair.

He's used to physical touch, being in Savanaclaw where play fights and roughhousing is pretty common between students, so your occasional touches weren't anything new, though they were gentler than what he was used to, and he didn't give much thought to it.

That changed after Leona's overblot. When the fight was over, the feelings of helplessness came crashing down on him, the fact they'd surely lose the tournament even after all their efforts and that his closest friend (were they even friends? The doubt crept up to him) had betrayed him, uttered the words he hated to hear. The exhaustion and the fact he almost died- his friend- his dorm leader- Leona almost-

Before he could spiral any longer, you came crashing onto him, figure shaking as your arms held him close, tightly as if trying to get your bodies as close together as possible, to feel that he was there and real and alive. He could feel your heart beating like crazy against your chest, mirroring his own. His shoulder, where you were leaning your face on, felt wet. Your hands gripped onto his shirt like a lifeline. You were muttering something, voice breaking, as if saying "we're okay" over and over.

Ruggie embraced you back, holding on just as tightly, burrying his face on your hair. He never was held like this, like he was something precious, like he truly had worth. In that moment, in your arms, he felt loved.

Ruggie's hunger isn't limited to food. In fact, you'd come to notice that he seems to be hungry to be loved too. Ever since the incident, Ruggie seemed more eager to share little touches with you, letting them linger longer, doing things out of his way to have an excuse for you to touch him, like doing little favours in exchange for a hug and, if you were feeling bold enough, a head rub.

For him to take time out of his busy schedule to spend it with you in hopes that he'd get your affection back meant a lot to you, so you tried to overcome some of your shyness to be able to show him just how much you appreciated it and all the little things he did, even doing some acts of service on occasion for him as well.

The cuddles came some time later. You knew Ruggie had nightmares at times, some regarding his life before he came to NRC and some about Leona's overblot. He didn't want you to worry about it and waved it off, but you could see when they had an impact on him, his darker eyebags and exhaustion making it clear to you. You'd give him back rubs as he rested his head against yours, letting him decide if he'd like to talk about them or just spend some time in silence when that happened.

One night, you were woken up by your phone ringing. You answered, still half asleep, and were surprised to hear Ruggie's shaking voice coming from the other side, breath ragged as he murmured something about being at your door. Without missing a beat, you ran down the stairs, not caring about the creaks of the floor or the coldness of it against your bare feet. You opened the door before he could even end the call, hurrying him in to get out of the chilly night air.

He looked like a mess, hands shaking and eyes dropping, chest heaving up and down. As soon as you closed the door, you embraced him, one hand rubbing up and down his back while the other patted his hair, trying to calm him down. The grip he had on you was so tight it could bruise, his voice came out rushed as he explained his nightmare. You decided there was no way you'd leave him alone that night, not when he sounded like that.

You took him to your bedroom, noticing Grim was still sleeping on his side of the room, and proposed to share the bed. You were a bit awkward as you got in a comfortable position, but seeing him in that state made you put the shyness away for a moment, focusing on making sure he was okay. You let him bury his head on your shoulder, arms wrapping around his back and hands playing with his hair until he fell asleep, waiting for his breath to soften.

Both ended up sleeping in for the next day, but you couldn't bring yourself to feel bad about skipping class when you saw how refreshed he looked in the morning, his usual playful demeanor coming back as he joked with you while he cooked breakfeast.

You've been showing him more physical affection since then, hugs and cheek kisses getting more common on the times you met with each other in the middle of your busy days. His ears perk up and his tail starts wagging as he offers you a cheeky grin.

As used to it as he is, there's a spot behind his ears that if you rub juuuust right will always fluster him and make him let out little giggles. If you rub it after a long day he'll melt in your arms. You got yourself a happy hyena!

Epel

Epel is used to touch, living with a big family who'd always show affection with hugs and headpats. Therefore, when you started to show it to him the same way, he reciprocated instantly, going as far to initiate it himself, oftentimes through handshakes, pats on the back and side hugs.

If your shyness stops you from reaching out he'd notice and do it himself, helping you to come out of your shell bit by bit, not making a big deal out of it and letting these interactions be casual. He'd be happy to help someone he cares about!

The first time you initiated a hug was very special to him. It was after he had another spat with Vil about his behaviour. As much as he pretended these didn't affect him at all, deep down he'd get hurt by the harsh words his dorm leader could direct at him. He knew Vil wanted only his best, but his methods weren't the most effective on someone as headstrong as Epel.

He was hiding in a corner of the hallways, a secret spot he hoped not even Rook could find him in (if such a thing was even possible), head resting against his knees. His thoughts kept going back to the lecture Vil gave him this time, eyes watering against his will and making him furiously rub his face to get rid of them.

That's when a familiar soft voice was heard, making him look up at you. You had a worried expression as you kneeled over to meet him eye to eye, hand hesitating for a second before you rested it on his shoulder and asked what was wrong. He muttered that you didn't need to worry, it was just the usual routine that came with being part of Pomefiore, refusing to meet your eyes, ashamed you've seen him in such a pathetic state.

You called his name and he turned around. He couldn't ignore it when you said it like that, with so much care, each letter dripping from your lips like honey. The hand on his shoulder pulled him forward until he met your chest, your other arm coming from behind to support his back. You told him it was okay to feel upset about what happened, that he could come to talk with you whenever he wanted to, that you'd listen to him.

He felt a rush of affection run through him as he noticed how firm your tone was, so certain. You were defending him, taking his side, and that meant a lot to him. It didn't feel patronizing, as it would sometimes happen with other people who felt he needed protection since he was so "small and cute". No, with you, it felt like he wasn't alone, like he had someone to count on to have his back, someone that trusted him and wanted him to trust them back. And of course he did, so he let himself lean into your touch fully, a nonverbal "thank you" both understood.

After that, he started to notice you liked to hug a lot. His side hugs became full ones and his heart oftentimes skipped a beat when he saw your pleased face. It felt good to see how happy he made someone he cared so much about.

The cuddles came in naturally, so much so neither of you noticed it until afterwards. You've gotten so used to each other's touch it wasn't anything novel when, a certain day, Epel rested his head on your lap as you were studying in the courtyard and started to talk about his day, complaining about the extra homework Crewel had given his class and gushing over the next spelldrive club meeting he'd have. You listened on, adding in your own two cents and laughing along, your hand playing with his hair.

Only at night, once you're about to go to sleep do you think about that moment and notice how you two started cuddling like it was something you've always done. Your face heated up at that and you couldn't catch any sleep, thinking over and over about that. Epel was in a similar position, butterflies in his stomach as he thought about how soft your lap felt or how gentle your fingers were as they treaded through his hair.

Even if there was a bit of awkwardness the next time you met, you quickly overcame it as you noticed how you were both in the same situation. The cuddling continued to happen more frequently, to the point none of your other first year friends even batted an eye at it.

He likes it the most when he takes you to a ride on his blastycle and you hug tight onto him, head resting against his back, trusting him to keep you safe, it makes him feel dependable and adrenalin rushes two times more than when he rides alone. If you let him try to carry you he'd also be delighted, wanting to prove that he can (even if you two topple over after taking two steps, at least you're having fun).

Lilia

Lilia has lived for so long, touch isn't anything new to him. He'd seen the bad side of it, the hands that hurt and kill, and the good side, the hands that soothe and protect. He's done both, with his own hands.

Raising Silver, he came to learn the importance of physical touch as an act of affection. For someone used to the violence of the battlefield, being able to experience touch as a soft thing, as a show of love, had been quite the change. He learnt to love the way fingers can run through another person's hair, the way lips can brush a forehead, the way hands can fit together, the way love can shine through little daily actions, every touch becoming a whisper of "I'm here, I care about you, I love you."

Being quite the extrovert, Lilia has no shame in showing affection for others in a physical way. A pat on their head, a hand on their back, chin resting on their shoulder, it all comes easily to him, and he's delighted when you start doing such gestures with him too! Considering your shy nature, he's happy you felt comfortable enough with him to reciprocate his antics.

Hugs aren't something he usually does, as he prefers more casual types of touches, but he likes it when you start hugging him more often! It's a good change of pace to keep things lively!

It starts small, little hugs as greetings or farewells, and then as thank you's and you're welcome's. It's like a whole language you two share, no words needed when your actions speak louder.

It's on Halloween that it really hits him just how much these moments mean to you. The two of you decided to go check the other dorms' decorations when he was on break, arms interlocked as you walked around campus and commented on the details and costumes. Whenever a student would appear to jumpscare you, you turned to him in a hug, burrying you head on his neck, trusting him to protect you from anything that might come your way. It was the trust, the comfort, the smile you gave him everytime afterwards that made him realize that that's your way of saying "I love you" without words.

He starts to appreciate these touches even more, giving you hugs more frequently, be it to celebrate a victory or to console your sadness.

These hugs envolve to cuddling, as in one moment you'd find yourself sitting side by side, legs touching, and in the other you'd have your back against his chest as he propped his chin on your shoulder. It usually flustered you, but you've grown used to it enough to be able to relax into it.

One time, a history study session turned into him telling you stories from his past, tales of people long gone that managed to capture your interest, be it because of the enthusiastic way he spoke about them or because it was all new to you, someone who wasn't from this world before. The way your attention was solely on him, eagerly hanging onto every word and even making questions or little sounds of surprise, made him feel elated that his old stories could still entertain.

When he started to talk about his travels, your eyes shone with excitement, the desire to discover a new world and the possibilities this chance presented. You asked him if he could show you it all someday, from the dunes of the Scalding Sands to the waves of the Coral Sea. This proposal of sharing important moments of your life with him made warmth spread through his body, fondness coloring his voice as he softly agreed.

It's not strange to find the two of you cuddling or stading closely to each other, touching in some way, be it by interwining your hands or leaning on each other. The Diasomnia dorm grew used to the sight of you huddled together on the lounge's couch, even Silver seemed happy that his father had found someone that made him feel loved.

Lilia specially likes when it's just the two of you, cuddling on his bed, and you take his face into your hands, fingers softly rubbing his skin, heavy lidded eyes taking in every detail and reaction. Such an innocent gesture, warm hands holding onto him so gently, makes him feel cared for more than grand declarations ever could. Give him a little kiss on the nose or the forehead and his chest will burst with affection, making him give you little kisses all over your face, your giggles sounding heavenly to him.

Masterlist

#twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #epel felmier x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #wonderland wonder #I tried my best to write for them! I hope I did them justice!#this actually made me think about each character's love language... maybe I could make a post about it sometime...

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defectivefanboy · 10 months

Note

Hello, hello my dear!

I really would like to request something, since you asked for it and hell yes the last episode was a banger. I love your Crimson HCs and I think you captured him really well. But I would like to read some nice HCs about the loveliest Prince of Hell, Stolas himself maybe got a little love interest in a Singer Succubus he met at Ozzies? Maybe she got something alluring to caught his eyes. (I don't mind if there are some nsfw parts)

Best regards

Ciel ♡

yall got me fucked up for saying this again, but still making me want to write the story (especially this request, it's like holding a carrot in front of the horse rn) but I will say my piece. I hope it was just a slip of the mind BUT I DO NOT WRITE FEMALE READER fuck I care if you read my writing, but the more it happens the more I'm pushed to write a cock onto the reader. I did ask for request so im not gonna complain anymore.

I would like to read some nice HCs about the loveliest Prince of Hell, Stolas himself maybe got a little love interest in a Singer Succubus he met at Ozzies? Maybe [REDACTED] got something alluring to caught his eyes. (I don't mind if there are some nsfw parts)

Overall Notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.

C/W: SFW - NSFW(suggested/mentioned), Lots of song quotes, Suggestive behavior, mentions of alcohol/smoking, platonic flirting from Ozzie/Fizz, reader serves cunt /positive, low-key himbo reader, special guests Ozzie's other faces, I love them,

Notes: All music used and referenced too will be noted at the bottom. I realize I take so long on writing its like bad. I can either do it for hours on end or I have to split it up. Never in-between. Also tell me why I found myself at 1 in the morning listening to bird sounds to try and be accurate.

Sip the Gossip...

Giggles

Hoot hoot boy

my dear beloved

My dear Icarus

Anyways...

Ahem...

He never saw himself coming back to the lust ring after the first time.

Truth be told he hoped it was the last time as well.

But alas he found himself wondering around the ring once more

Stolas wasn't looking for anything when he came to the Lust Ring

Well,,. he was looking for something, more so someone

And that was a meeting with Prince Asmodeus himself

Truth be told, it's not too hard to find the bright and extravagant circus tent like building.

Flashing lights drawing a demon in like a moth to a flame.

Matched with the loud music that reverberated across the ring

Yet, it was a hassle to find the damned three faced demon prince, an even bigger challenge to get a moment with him alone.

And the moment he finally got to talk to him. Just as he was about to ask him to take this somewhere private. Just as he was about to get the words out. Just as he was about to ask for a crysta-

A voice rang out behind him, taking Asmodeus's attention away from a now annoyed owl.

Stolas turned around with a huff, his tail feathers ruffling in irritation, as his entire body puffed up in anger and mock intimidation.

Only to be stopped in his tracks once again as soon as he peered down below.

The soft flick of a heart shaped tail and pointed blacks horns with soft cracks of red running through them entered his view.

A mischievous succubus made their way past him and stood in front of Asmodeus.

The cheeky smile on their face caught Stolas by the tongue as they interacted with the prince of lust.

"Quite popular tonight huh, Oz? It's not too often you work the floor." A snicker came from the succubus as they passed by the goetia without a second glance. Stolas watched as they did a little handshake with the other, before Asmodeus softly placed a hand on their back. "My, my, you're here early~ Looking for some private time with your favorite prince~?" Asmodeus said, his two other faces cooing at the succubus.

A soft blush rose to Stolas's face at the lewd comment as he looked between the two. "You need to pay the dancers before you touch them, big guy." They said with emphasis on their words as they gently pushed his hand off them before turning and looking up to Stolas with a mischievous smile.

"Right, Feathers?"

They left right after their jest

And Stolas was left lapping at his tongue

Asmodeus continued on with their conversation as if nothing happened

Like he didn't just forget what he came here for.

But god. did he know what was gonna make him keep coming back.

And it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Ozzie, who swiftly invited him to tonights show.

Gotta be a good host at the end of the night right?

Residing in a balcony seat, Stolas was left on his own while Asmodeus went backstage to settle some issues.

Stolas fiddled with his phone as he watched the countless tables of couples from up above.

Maybe it was stupid to accept the offer to stay. Maybe he should just go home-

"Bartender~ I really did it the time! Need a couple shots for a good time!"

Oh. He remembers why he's here now.

Soft curious hoots came form him as he peered over the railing watching you talk to guest and other dancers.

You wore a simple black outfit as you leaned against the bar.

He had to stop himself from taking a photo of you covering your face when you laughed at a patron's comment.

The playful smile on your face as you took the drinks brought a small one to his face as well.

It soon took a full on blush when you peered up at him, raising your glass in a cheers to him.

Poor thing didn't know what to do with himself as his brain became a literal bird brain.

Shooting back in his seat he raised a hand raised to cover his face as he broke out into a soft fit of giggles and coo's

you gave a soft smile before walking back behind stage, waving bye to others as you passed by.

Maybe he really did have a thing for red~

Sitting up in his seat he fixed his clothing and feathers as the lights dimmed

"Hello perverts, pervettes, and the freaks who like everything in between~ I hope you are all ready for the show tonight! We have something very special for everyone, me included~"

Stolas remembered him from the last time he was here

The clown's vibrant color scheme and loud persona was hard to forget

As he pranced around the stage announcing tonights agenda, a figure emerged from the curtain behind him

Gaining a bit of courage back he straightened his back and cleared his throat

"Asmodeus, I wanted to ask about that succubus from before if that was alright?"

"I hope it's not to make a formal complaint now. I was just starting to like ya' feathers." A playful voice rang out form behind him

His eyes widened as he softly gulped and turned around in his chair

Stolas was met with a familiar smile that held the same playful tone as their comment.

Instead of the black outfit you had on earlier it looked as if you were there to hang out with him

A pair of comfy pants and oversized hoodie to match, he had to restrain himself from squeezing your face in his hands

With a soft ruffle of his feathers he softly leaned into you with an awkward smile

Making himself smaller, he peered down at the figure before him as he stuttered over his words

"Satans No! No nothing like that. I- uh, I, wanted to ask if you were a worker here?"

"Ooh! You wanted to buy a dance? Well~ you'll have to wait until after the show, but I'll find you after, yeah?"

With the flash of a smile they left as quick as they came and Stolas is left with one thought...

"Oh, I have got to fuck them"

Not too long after they left, the curtains behind him pushed over once again. This time revealing Asmodeus, who had a cheeky grin on his face as he pulled his seat out.

"I hope I didnt keep you waiting too long, now. I had to deal with a few things out back stage." He said as he made himself comfortable next to Stolas. Quick to shake his head Stolas sat up in his chair, dusting himself off a bit as the lights faded to black around them. Spotlights circled around the stage as music slowly built up around them.

The lights slowed and focused on the middle of the curtains that hung at the back of the stage. The curtains flung open and revealed the succubus in a black and red outfit that didn't leave much for Imagination, not that Stolas was complaining. A chorus of la's came from their lips as the lights dimmed around them to a single spotlight.

"Oh baby, baby, have you seen Amy tonight? Is she in the bathroom, is she smoking up outside?" The slowly made their way down the stage, looking at the crowd as they sang the song and made small gestures with their hands.

They made their way to the end the stage, leaning down closer to the guest in the front row. "Oh, baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that I'mma buy her? Do you know just what he likes?" Before they said their last line they gave a sly look up to the balcony with a quick wink for walking back down.

"Oh, tell me, have you seen her? 'Cause I'm so, oh I can't get her off of my brain." Each note was staccato at the end, they're danced following along with the words. "I just wanna go to the party she gon' go. Can somebody take me home? Ha, ha, he, he, ha, ha, ho" With a mischievous glint in their eyes they looked at Stolas once more with their words. Whether it be just in jest or in all seriousness, his feathers ruffled at the shiver that made its way down to each of his nerve endings, if demons have them.

"Love me, hate me, say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy" More lights faded in as dancers in cages lowered from the ceiling. More dancers filed through the sea of tables and patrons as the succubus sang the along with the chorus. Each one performing their own dance with another as guest threw money their way.

The extra dancers disappeared once the second verse began, a few male succubus remaining on stage. The ones that remained interacted and touched the succubus as they danced along the stage, pushing them out of their way. Which was a little very enjoyed by Stolas as small hoots of laughter escaped him. "They seem to be livelier tonight, I wonder why~" Asmodeus commented slyly to the another prince while not looking his way. Though his other faces gave him dead away as they stared Stolas dead on, giggling.

With a choked hoot Stolas looked at Asmodeus as he tried to catch his breath. "Oh! Is that so? Well they are quite the... performer?" Stolas said questioning himself at the end, all while Asmodeus laughed at his confusion. "They are, aren't they? Seems they've taken a liking to you. Someones lucky tonight or better yet, getting lucky~" Asmodeus cooed softly leaning towards stolas playfully nudging him with his elbow. Only to laugh when he turned his head and was greeted with stammering and very flustered owl.

Safe to say Ozzie just found the story of the night for Fizzy when he finds him. Such gossip queens.

The song only continued on for a few more moments before the lights fully turned off and the crowd applauded as the dancers exited the stage.

Giving just enough time for Stolas to regain his composure

Or well at least a bit of it

Because the remaining minutes Asmodeus was there

He made it a mission to tease the prince before he had to return to his duties behind stage.

But thank satans Ozzie was called back stage quickly

Stolas didn't think he could take anymore of it

His feathers puffed up and face beat red he was pulled out o this thoughts by a knock

"Hope I didn't make you wait long. Wanted to wash up a bit before I came~."

Stolas let out a high pitched chirp his face flushed once again as he lapped his tongue for words

With a soft laugh you waved him off with your hand as you tried to form words through your giggles.

"I'm kidding! Ozzie said it's fun teasing you, but I think he's probably done enough already."

Before he could say anything you gestured for him to follow you

With a prominent blush on his face Stolas straightened his clothes and quickly got into step with you.

Walking down the hall Stolas thought of what to say as he followed behind you

'Would casual conversation be good? Or maybe a talk over a drink?'

Poor boy was a bit nervous

And it didn't help with each moment you got stopped by a worker or a fan.

Though most were quick small talk, some fans had gained enough courage to ask for a date.

Better yet, they would hop to the point and ask of your number.

Each time they got the same response, each given the same number.

"XXX - 867 - 5309"

With a smile and a wink, you waved them off each time.

'Maybe this was a bad idea' He thought to himself as he watched each demon walk away feeling giddier then the last

With only a few more twist and turns he found himself back stage passing by the other performers dressing rooms.

He took one glance away from you and the moment he turned back you were gone

Stolas only found you when you grabbed his hand and pulled him into a dressing room.

The room seemed still as the bass of the music became dulled behind the walls.

Clothing racks and dressers were scattered around the room as a vanity sat on one end of the room while a couch, a few chairs, and a table sat on the other end.

Knickknacks where randomly placed along the room, making it feel a bit less like the work place and a bit more cozy.

"Sooo, uhm- Was that really your number?" Even Stolas winced at himself for asking.

But it was quickly wiped away with a light laugh from you

you quickly made your way to radio and shuffled through the songs and pressed play

When the music started playing you made your way over to Stolas and quickly grabbed his hands. Pulling him into the middle of the room you danced with him to the music as you started singing along.

"Jenny Jenny who can I turn to? You give me something I can hold on to. I know you'll think I'm like the others before. Who saw your name and number on the wall" Letting go of his hand you twirled around before pointing at him and pretending to sing into a microphone.

"Jenny I've got your number. I need to make you mine. Jenny don't change your number. 867 - 5 3 0 9" As you continued to sing and dance around the room it finally clicked for him. It's a song. You've been quoting a song. A smile broke out on his face when he finally realized.

"You've been giving them a fake number! Won't they notice? They might even know the song-" His rambling was cut off by a hand waving in his face. With a gentle pull of his hand you lead him to the couch in the room. "Are you a cop? Or do you always ask these many questions, feathers?"

"What! Heaven's no I would never-" He was cut off once again, but this time, by a hand cupping his face and leaning closer to him. Enough to ghost your mouth against his as you spoke.

"Good, because I might not be able to justify my next actions~"

Then he never came back after that (im fucking wit yall)

While he doesn't make it to every show and performance.

He CAN be found in your dressing room right after each one.

Well you can honestly find him there most nights your on or in the building.

It' what a good boyfriend does <3

Yes, he was the one to ask what you two 'were' relationship wise

Bby didn't want another game of cat and mouse :(

But that was quickly cleared up with your answer

"Wait, are we not? dating? right now? Would you? like too? date?"

Be glad you're cute. He was ready to make a new ring in hell.

He was very possessive at the start of the relationship.

"Fizzie baby, when did we start ordering stone statues?"

They make wonderful coat and drying racks for the dancers though, so Ozzie doesn't have much to say about it.

"Just don't do it to any high bidders okay~"

stolas did apologize though, hes too much of a good boy not too

But there's always one thing he's glad about.

Stolas's day is filled with tedious and idiotic duties and task he has to complete.

But as soon as night begins to set in Hell, a new energy fills him as he runs around his room getting ready.

The one thing he is glad about is that he can always find you in the same place every night.

Be it the fact you're a dancer within the prestigious club, it was basically your job in a sense, you were always able to catch his eye off first glance.

Never more then a few glances away, soon only a few steps as he was the one now to pull you back stage.

What? Asmodeus said he was allowed too, as long as he put money in his pockets.

Make his pockets hurt, and make them hurt good - Ozzie, 2023

Your biggest supporter ever. It started off with simple five, tens, and twenties. Then it escalated to fifties and one hundreds. Soon he was throwing hand fulls of diamonds on the stage.

Which he was promptly yelled at for by Ozzie.

But after each set he's right back stage giving you hugs and kisses.

Not that your complaining much

Having your demon prince waiting for you, watching over you, and only you was an amazing gift after each performance.

He also helps ward off creeps from interacting with you often.

Were you a bit surprised when you saw his true form? Yes. Did you also fuck him in it after? Also yes, a few times. Never knew how much tension that form has. No worries his pretty little succubus is there to help him through it all~

But to be honest, I think he's always more soft than horny.

He's always bundled up in your dressing room, all cozied up on the couch as he has a movie or show paused.

Such a cuddle bug he is <3

And for the fact he comes here so often. bro might as well just work there

That the balcony seat he first sat in with Asmodeus was now a personal booth for him whenever he came

Nothing but the best for his beloved~

Only the best for his canary <3

･::｡･: ･ﾟ･: :｡･: ･:: ･ :･ﾟ･::｡ ::･ﾟ･:: ｡･ :｡:･ﾟ : ･ :｡･ﾟ･::｡･: :･ﾟ･

Songs used in the story ╮

Bartender song (Sittin' at a Bar) - You favorite martian covee | If U seek Amy - Brittany Spears | 867 - 5309 (Jenny's number) - Tommy Tutone

#foolish writing #request open #helluva boss #helluva boss stolas #stolas #stolas goetia #helluva boss x reader #stolas x reader #stolas x male reader #stolas x gn reader #helluva boss stolas x reader #request

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m00nj3w3l · 9 months

Text

Well here I am (ONS chapter 128)

Ok I'm finally writing out my thoughts about ONS' 128. Idk how long it'll come out (extremely long as I'm writing it it seems...) and also as always I want to hear others' opinions on this, but as a warning it will be mostly negative. I actually did a similar post back at the start of the year with BSD, but BSD at least managed to bounce back full force and do what it needed to do while ONS shows no signs of that.

I'll break it down into the following points:

>I'm also getting tired of the flashbacks (as many already did)

>I miss the Shinoa squad (will touch upon Mitsuba specifically and y'all probably know why)

>The belief that MikaYuu fans are getting much better content and why I think that's bs (will probably mention my theorem of "Mika, along with literally all the women of the franchise, got hit with the mysoginy stick")

So let's go I guess, under the cut so I don't clutter my non-ONS followers' dash.

>The flashbacks: I... Did not mind them up unti now, if I've got to be honest. Let's be serious here everyone probably expected a batshit crazy backstory for the characters, ESPECIALLY Yuu and Mika, and that's what made me not really complain. Now it has been like? 8 chapters of ONLY flashbacks??? Only things of the past with NO break and NO POV switches to at least let us know wtf is going on in the outside world. Christ. The fact that irritates me the most is that all of this adds nothing to the plot either!!! What are the MCs supposed to do now that they've seen one of them (WHO HAS BEEN 4 DIFFERENT SPECIES TOO SINCE THE START OF THE SERIES???) sacrifice for the 3rd time!!!! AND IN THE PAST AT THAT!!!! HOW IS THIS USEFUL FOR THEM OR ANY OF US AGHHFHGHHG. We got other gays going at it tho and that's just funny to me. This is just a BL masked as a battle shonen lmaoooo.

>The Shinoa squad: I feel like this is obvious. Where tf are they? They obviously are looking out for where Mika and Yuu are, how did we not see them again yet??? Some progress in their hunt (let's call it that) for those two??? Shinoa literally threatened to kill Mika (and, for a number of reasons, let me say this: ew.) I'd at least like to see her and how she's doing. And didn't Kagami promise us Mitsuba would get more screentime soon? THIS IS LITERALLY A PERFECT SETTING. SHOW ME HER AND SHINOA BEING IN CONFLICT CUS SHE WORRIES ABOUT HER FRIEND AND WANTS HER TO COME TO HER SENSES!!! SHOW ME HOW THEE LITERAL KIDS ARE DOING AFTER BEING ASKED BY A FULL ON 24 Y.O TO CHOOSE THEIR FAMILIES OR THE WORLD LIKE BE SO SERIOUS THE SETTING WAS *DECENT* (wouldn't say perfect cus I'm not the biggest fan of the "bring everyone back" plot but ok) FOR IT ALL I'M *explodes*

>MikaYuu: Oh boy ok here we go. So since I came back after my rewatch and catch up to this manga which resulted in hyperfixation again I noticed that the narrative of MikaYuu shippers getting better content cus a lot of the chapters now focus on them is... common. And for a while I just thought "ok" and moved on but now I'm fully on convinced it's just. Not true. Not because the content isn't there, I would be lying if I said that, but because it's... Not good. Good content, for me (as someone who clearly loves these two if you scroll for even 2 minutes down my fucking tag), would be seeing actual growth between them, some actual substance in what they are doing as of rn, and we are not getting any of that. Since when did we see them actually DO something? Last time we saw Yuu in his actual body and actually saying something was last chapter and he was EATING. Then we went back to them just passively staring at everything that went on. And to add onto this, I dislike demon Mika as a plot IN GENERAL because it recessed any development both for HIM and for Yuu himself. Yuu acts stupid (wtf happened to him after Nagoya I'm being so serious Nagoya Yuu I miss you so much) as shit cus anyway Mika IS strong enough to let him get away with it but not enough to oppose Yuu at some point and this was addressed as a problem for like 2 seconds and then nothing. Oh my God. And not only that but this fucking thing also shows that Mika did, indeed, also get hit with a mysoginy beam, but that's another topic I want to talk about in another post if anyone even really cares about it.

So... Yeah. I'm not tired (I only started catching up in March after my rewatch, so I'm still curios about how this will go), but I AM sad. I really miss the earlier arcs and the potential they all had that now seems like a long lost memory. Can we all collectevely just go back to the Nagoya one like if the series stuck to that path I would be able to excuse its flaws up until a point because GOD. The eyeball with its Seraph shit or whatever the hell it was doing was cool tho.

As always y'all can tell me what y'all think, but I'm mostly expecting this to get lost in the void given how dead the fandom is. So yeah, see ya.

#owari no seraph #owari no seraph spoilers #owari no seraph 128 #moon likes to rambletm #i was listening to scapegoat as i was writing this just to add an xtra 'i miss the earlier arcs' flavor fr #if this has any typo it'll probably be corrected later on

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musashi · 5 months

Note

can I just say I genuinely appreciate you talking about dieting positively. ik your recent post is more about clothing fit but it completely changed my life, energy went from nothing to something, and I'm no longer depressed. ik it's a reaction to a very fatphobic world but I'm still fat and don't mind it, just SO much happier and I appreciate you mentioning your own experiences it's soothing

Diets exist for so many other reasons than bad body image! Fixing your diet is one of the first things mental health professionals will suggest if you're in a rut. There are a million great reasons to do it and it always really gets me down how much people act like the only reason anyone would ever change their intake is because they're scared of gaining weight.

Like I was happy fat!!!! I only lost the weight because I needed a tangible change, it didn't matter what that change was. Some people cut their hair. I couldn't do that as a bulldyke with a buzz cut, so I just lost a notable amount of weight. I liked myself the same, but I felt better because I achieved what I wanted.

I stopped losing weight in 2018 but stayed on the diet because of the mental health benefits! Keto was a medical diet that was found to help epileptics, schizophrenics, and a bunch of other brain conditions! For me it just fixed my ADHD and brain fog and depression and I got a job and moved out and felt functional for the first time in my life.

It's so stupid when people are so reactionary to fatphobia that they can't help but project that onto me just vibing in the corner... Like bestie I was a fox when I was fat and I'd do it again if I could afford to replace my wardrobe a second time vjskfjajfj. I don't own a scale. I don't know my weight. I don't know my waistline like I cannot be bothered

It's irritating. It's not that deep. I have a skinny girl wardrobe rn. Can't buy a fat girl wardrobe. Shouldn't have gotten rid of my fat girl wardrobe but sadly I didn't think that thru. Life is beautiful anyways

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cookinguptales · 8 months

Text

TIL that you can block anonymous users via your inbox! And if you do that, it also gets rid of any of their old messages! Which has the side effect of letting you know which anon wrote which messages!

Which I guess is nice because

It gave me confirmation that the one anon I suspected was the same one who keeps sending me stuff I just... do not wish to read (because it's so long-winded, passive-aggressive, and full of absolutely rancid takes) actually was that person, despite the fact that I have asked them repeatedly to just unfollow me. And now I'll never have to get one of their diatribes again.

Kind of a relief to know that actually, my inbox was not full of people who hate me! It was just full of like two people who were really dedicated to hating me! Which is very fucking weird of them!

I will never understand why people get so fucking mad because someone wrote some fandom takes they didn't agree with on their own blog. Just... block me and move on and read stuff from other users who agree with you. It's fandom, not WWII. It doesn't always have to be combative. I'm open to discussion, but if you're just here to curse at me or tell me I'm an idiot or go on a rant about "certain people in fandom" or just be a condescending douchebag... save your breath, maybe? I'm not going to change my mind; all you're doing is irritating us both.

I see takes I don't agree with all the time, but I am normal and well-adjusted (lmao) and I just... scroll. Or block them, if it happens repeatedly. Or if I really feel strongly about it, I make my own meta post about my own opinions without referencing theirs. If I feel irritated, I vent privately to friends. It is just never worth a fight on tumblr dot com. Everyone just comes out feeling bad.

Also like... very genuinely, I do not understand why people send me long anonymous rants via ask when they clearly don't actually want my input. I get that it's scary to make posts of your own with your own name attached (like... obviously, I am proving the risks of that rn) but like?? Stop trying to use me as a platform or something. Gather your courage and make your own fucking post. Surely that must be easier than sending me like 400 words in multiple asks whining about the ~state of fandom these days~ when I clearly disagree with you, then getting angry with me when I disagree with you.

I've pretty much decided to stop publishing those. I feel like it's probably just going to give people what they want? A platform for their vents without actually having to put their names on their ideas. I fully welcome anon asks (even very long ones!) that really want to discuss elements of canon or bring up ideas or ask me for my opinion. Even ones that don't necessarily agree with me, as long as they're respectful! But damn, some of you treat me like I'm not even a real person and I'm tired of it. You don't have to like my ideas, you don't even have to like me, but if you want me to engage with you, you gotta treat me with some semblance of respect.

Like... maybe I've been too nice? I try to answer all messages, even ones that are kind of shitty, as patiently as I can with as much good faith as I can muster, but like. maybe I do need to just tell some people to fuck off and/or delete their shitty bad-faith asks without reading them. Maybe I've emboldened people by engaging with these asks at all, idek. I really like ask culture on tumblr, but like. to be brutally frank, some of you are real shitheads with bad reading comprehension and terrible takes. You're not nice, and your ideas aren't interesting.

(I do just delete the ones that are just cursing or insults, typically, but I usually try to engage if there's any real content beyond that, and maybe that was a mistake...? Maybe you can't react to bad-faith actors with good faith...)

Anyway. This was a long and mystified post, but I really do feel much lighter knowing that the problem was less widespread than I thought (if... more concentrated than I'd anticipated) and that I will never have to hear from certain people again.

I'm probably going to leave anon off for a few more days just because I really do think I just need a mental break from wwdits for a few days, but I feel a lot safer turning it back on now. :')

#what about me gets people so het up anyway #I'm just some person rambling on her own personal tumblr #I never even read in the tags or reply to others' posts #I am very easy to avoid!#my hairstylist said it was nice actually to have the power to elicit strong emotions in people but #I could do without it lmao #when someone sends you dozens of asks over months when it's clear that they do not like you or your opinions #it's hard NOT to be like 'but why are you so obsessed with me??'

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serve-cunt · 2 months

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HIIII ZOE ITS MY IRRITATING ASS AGAIN (this is my main blog, I have tennis and f1 sideblogs but don't know how to make the ask come from there, I haven't been on tumblr in FOREVER..)

anyway my little curious gremlin ass has YET MORE QUESTIONS

ALSO I COMPLETELY FORGOT CHALLENGERS WAS COMING OUT, IM SO DAMN EXCITED FOR THAT FUCK YEAH, we LOVE zendaya she's gonna serve (pls laugh) cunt

okay so i think picking out my favourite players will be easier if I relate them back to f1 drivers, makes em seem more familiar, so if I do like a checklist of sorts of driver types, can you match them up to players you think fit the vibe?????

e.g. is there a former champion (lewis/fernando coded) who's looking for a comeback? is there a young talent who's had bad luck but is on the rise (lando) is there a calm, level headed one that everyone thinks will go far (oscar) is there a charming elegant one that social media is obsessed with (charles my babygirl). im assuming djokovic is the max verstappen adjacent, fairly young dude who's smoking everyone, yeah?

just like ugh I LOVE f1 so dearly and i think sporting parallels will help SO much

question: is it a big money sport like f1? Obviously anyone can pick up a racket and hit a ball, but is it very expensive and exclusive to make it into the big leagues? you mentioned smth in the fic about oscar adding up the whole cost of going pro, would that be a huge problem for poorer families?

are there any player pairings with vaguely homosexual vibes? again with the damn f1 parallels but adjacent to max/charles, carlos/lando, even lewis/nico if I dare mention brocedes, because I just absolutely live for speculation of silly little goofy athletes' relationships with each other

here's where I get REAL shallow but fuckin sue me, WHICH ARE THE PRETTY ONES I CAN SIMP OVER. i am bi so that doubles the market, but basically which are the ones that i can watch edits of and get all giggly and blush over, in your opinion and in the general tennis community's opinion.

whats andy murray's deal? Is he retired? Is he like the sebastian vettel of tennis?

how dramatic is it compared to f1? we all know that f1 is gossip girl on wheels... is tennis gossip girl running around a court or is it less drama-fueled?

not a question but I'm so excited to see which f1 drivers turn up to Wimbledon this year like, CROSSOVER EPISODE YEAAAA

is djokovic the max-esque guy where it's like "okay I don't mind you, you're cool, but god DAMNIT, stop being so good, let my other favourite little meow meows have a CHANCE for once"

how worldwide is it? are players mostly European/Aussie like f1 or is it more widespread?

is the meme game good? i LIVE for online hilarity in sports, are there any iconic tennis moments/memes a la "it's near a fish" "smoooth operator" "bwoah" etc etc whatever

really gotta stop talking about f1 in terms of tennis but it's the only other sport I'm really into IM SORRY FORGIVE ME

which are the "sad wet cat" (dearly beloved) players? you mentioned one guy but there's gotta be more than one right??? I always get attached to athletes with those vibes

IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE CONSTANT QUESTIONING BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I TRUST TO GIVE ME CORRECT INFO RN BECAUSE YOU REALLY SEEM LIKE YOU KNOW YOUR SHIT

finally a HUGE FUCKING THANK YOU???? For putting up with my idiot ass mostly, and your fic is singlehandedly making me wander into the tennis world despite knowing literally nothing and you're helping my understanding SO much, youre about to drag me down this sport's rabbit hole just by existing. tennisblr seems like such a fun adorable place im SO excited to start watching stuff, you're a legend and ilysm <3333

you are literally NEvEr irritating you are the best thing to happen to my inbox every time, sorry i was so slow on this one!! I had a very hard time relating f1 drivers to tennis players lmaoooo so in the end i just skipped that part!! I'm so sorry!!! it's just so hard because the narrative of f1 drivers is so specific and intrinsically tied to TEAM and to their teammates, and to the tragedy of a good car and/or the wonder of a great car ... the betrayal of contract negotiation & silly season etc.... tennis just doesn't really have that!! all the narratives are more player v. self and player v. world, instead of driver v. driver and driver v. fate. if that makes sense??

so yeah. sorry 😭😭 it's also possible that I just don't have enough imagination and somebody can jump in to help with that .... anyway, moving right along to

"is tennis a big money sport"

GOD yes. tennis is soooooo expensive, it takes approx 1 billion dollars to pay for lessons, court time, coaching, travel, accommodation, gear, etc etc. :// You get paid if you win. let me say that again: you get paid if you WIN. there aren't salaries! early in your career, you are HEMORRHAGING money, esp if you have a coach. the travel is fricken expensive all by itself!! and if you're paying a coach as well you're either in debt or you're playing with house money if you catch my drift. (tennis players often come from wealth, much like f1 drivers — they can also be sponsored, sometimes by their country, but usually only if & while they're successful!!)

if you do well, you start to win, maybe you make money, more likely you're breaking even for a while (or even still losing). if you do REALLY well, then you're looking at more prize money and maybe sponsors, so then you can start making some real money out of this. but yeah it's CRAaaaaaazy how much money tennis players pay to play tennis lol!! it is 10000% a problem for getting underprivileged kids into tennis, there's a reason tennis is so white!

"are there any player pairings w vaguely homosexual vibes"

LOLLLL look i never turn down a chance to push the sincaraz agenda but also, carlos alcaraz does that for me!!!!

they're so cute damn

also getting into sinner/berrettini …

but honestly, besides that?? f1 is way better for pairings because we watch them interact with each other off track WAYY more. you barely see tennis players interact with each other! i have been emailing the respective tennis associations about this (jk but I should). MORE GOOFY VIDEOS WITH PLAYERS DOING STUPID GAMES (with each other, crucially)

"which are the hot ones"

ooohh this is suuuper subjective but i am soOOOoo into coco gauff, she's gorg, also iga sviatek in red, also daria kasatkina, also maria sakkari really does it for me, also katie boulter is so cute.

hot damn

on the atp side oBVI jannik, carlitos is so cute but he looks so young i feel like he's less hot and more adorable, caspar ruud looks like ryan gosling as you have pointed out, ben shelton is gorgeous (and cocky in a way that unfortunately does compel me, oops), arthur fils!! beautiful. tennis players are all hot, in my mind??? they're so …. well rounded …. 😏😏😏

"which are the "sad wet cat" players"

andrey rublev my beloved sad cat

muchova (not really a sad wet cat but tragically always broken in some way)

daniil medvedev but if the cat was cunty

"whats andy murray's deal?"

oh my GOD murray!! my love my husband my father my holy ghost!! a tragedy a triumph …. a player in the era of the Big Three (Djokovic, Federer, Nadal) and therefore destined to be remembered as "oh, and andy murray" … or "one of the big four" (the big four is not a thing unless you're talking about andy murray lmao) ... a great player, one of the greatest, a slugger, a workhorse, had one of the cleanest backhands of all time, and the classiest guy in tennis … see: andy murray shutting down sexist reporters on multiple occasions ....

youtube

He's not retired !! he's still going, here he is recently losing:

He's actually (possibly) playing at this upcoming Challenger Tour event! as are a number of interesting players. the reason that this is interesting is that Challenger level tournaments are a level below the ATP Tour, so you don't often have this many recognizable (to me, anyway) names playing at this level!

[side note: the movie Challengers — the name is a play on the Challengers tour. they're playing a Challengers match in the movie, but also "challenging" each other for zendaya … you get it]

Anyway this tournament should be interesting … andy murray is getting older but he's not ready to quit!! he's gone on the record saying there are things he's still trying to accomplish before he retires, and he's playing well in practices it's just not translating to matches yet. he's also said if his body tells him to retire he will, but uhh. he's got a literal metal hip so clearly he's not QUITE ready to listen to his body.....

"is he the seb of tennis" HMMMM this is an interesting question, I wouldn't really class him this way — seb is like a silly little sexy fruity goblin (if I'm reading his vibe correctly — I'm late to f1) and andy is a stoic public school kid with a goofy streak … if that makes sense …

"how dramatic is tennis compared to f1?"

ALSO INTERESTING I think that's sort of relative to how much you care about individual players, I think game-play is pretty dramatic at times but nobody's ever in danger of bursting into flame??? so in that sense not as dramatic as vroom vroom sport lmaoo but there is a bit of temper tantrum throwing, and then important wins (see: Alcaraz Wimbledon 2023) are SO dramatic in the best way…

gossip-wise I don't think it's as dramatic as f1!! there's deffo tennis gossip but I think, again, because there aren't teams, the drama is less wrapped up in "betrayal" narratives yknow??? like ferrari ditching sainz for lewis was dramatic in so many different ways, not LEAST because of the betrayal of carlos. I feel like tennis is less set up for that, bc it's every player for themselves

"is djokovic the max-esque guy where it's like "okay I don't mind you, you're cool, but god DAMNIT, stop being so good, let my other favourite little meow meows have a CHANCE for once"

YES EXACTLY i cut in your whole q because that's exactly right!! so so so apt imo .. howEVERRR it was less correct when federer and nadal were still around and at their best, because those three really did make up the Big Three, capital B capital T, and they had such a good dynamic going between the trio — it was less one-note when djokovic had a constant fight on his hands... now djokovic is older and slowing down so we're getting into a sunset period, which is interesting because he's still doing GREATTT (and I wish he would stop, give my meow meows a chance etc) but everyone sees the light at the end of the tunnel re: a djokovic retirement. whereas I think people are looking at the max ascendancy and saying "GULP" bc we all want our favorite boys to win at least one WDC (cough lando cough cough osc)

"how worldwide is it?"

fairrrrly? but yes europeans heavvvvily represented, americans as well to some extent, asia and australia to some extent — not so stark as f1, but def same bougie euro vibes lmao

"is the meme game good?"

again fairrrrrly but def not to the same extent!! less of a "here are the memes everyone knows" and more in the spirit of, like, if you're following a few players & the major tournaments, tennis tumblr/twitter is fun to be on … trying to think of a "classic" tennis meme and I can't which isn't a good sign lmaooo .. jannik puking in a bin and then going on the biggest win streak of his career is a pretty good meme in my mind though ...

CROSSOVER EP YAAHHHHHHHH I CANNOT WAIT WE BETTER GET SO MANY GOOD WIMBLEDON PHOTOS AJHFDLAKSJFHDKLASJFH

sorry again to be so slow !! this was fun to go through as soon as I stopped tearing my hair out trying to make player: driver comparisons but again, maybe I'm just not creative enough ..

xx ily :))))))

#TENNIS AGAIN #ask #ivy tag #tennis 101

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dazaikinning · 2 years

Text

strange

part 6 ಥ‿ಥ

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apologies on my behalf if its bad rn, because im currently trying to finish another fanfic and yesh its very bad trying to finish this at 4 am ashhsisgdis | @thatdazaikin i'm really sorry this didn't turn out well! i really loved your sketch by the way, it's really adorable! |

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dazai x reader (high schoolers au)

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you couldn't sleep, you tried closing your eyes so many times. you even tried suffocating yourself with a pillow! alright maybe not that far. you really can't stop thinking about some sudden kiss huh?

you sighed and just decided to get up and check up on the kitten, you went downstairs and saw her on the table. "now, now c'mere." you tried grabbing her as it jumped off the table, "oh god." you ended chasing her for what seems like 10 minutes as she finally calmed down. you sighed and lifted her up and it started licking you, "you're so lucky that you're so cute." you smiled and brought her up to your room as you both lay down, you then drifted off to sleep.

you woke up, groaning, feeling a bit irritated but super tired. you got up and prepared for school as you fed your kitten (for now) and walked to school. arriving, you saw dazai waiting for you as usual as he waved at you, "good morning!! did you get enough sleep?" "morning dazai.." yawning, "and not really.." you were basically trying to stay awake while standing. "oh noo! are there any reasons for it?" he asked with a worried tone, "it's fine, it's just the kitten being kittens." you shrugged half-lying, "how about i take care of her this time?", "if you don't mind, sure." you agreed, the bell soon rang as you both made your way to your class.

in the middle of class, you tried your best to stay awake and focus on the lessons, "heyy psst-!!" you felt someone continuously poking your back. looking back, you saw dazai smiling, "just 23 minutes more and class will be over, stay awake a little longer!" he winked while grinning, you sighed and excused yourself to the washroom to wash your face. you were really tired honestly, but you still kept thinking about it and almost fell asleep on the the floor. you proceed to walk back to class, trying to keep your eyes opened, cursed you dazai..

class was finally over as everyone left for breakfast and you immediately fell asleep.

"wake up!!" you heard dazai's voice and woke up, "what happened..?" you were suddenly on the floor, completely oblivious of why you're on the floor. "i was just reading something while eating and saw you suddenly on the floor hupft-" he was giggling as you immediately stood up and sat back on your seat, embarrassed. "that really wasn't funny seeing someone suddenly fainted." you were a bit upset, "ah, my apologies ma'am that really won't happen again, i hope. anyways, shouldn't you be eating breakfast right now or you're gonna skip again?" he pouted while shoving his lunchbox, "dazai, you really don't have to share me your food all the time- it's really fine." you refused,

"do i really have to feed you?" he sighed.

feed ..FEED ME WHAT THE FUCK??

you jumped at his words, "are you really that straight up-?" you laughed nervously, "say ah" he was pointing the food at your mouth, waiting you to eat. you were super flushed and didn't know what to do other than accepting defeat, so you sighed and ate it. "there you go, you can now have the rest or do i have to continue?" you shook your head, "you are sure one peculiar person.." you murmured, "ah! how you wounded me!" he teases, "it was supposed to be a compliment!"

how does he always come up with new flirting techniques..?

-----

this was short and bad but i promise i'll try to make it better next part muah♥️🦫 now im gonna get some rest it's 4 am and im still awake and my eyes hurts shsjsksjek

#bsd x reader #dazai x reader #cringe #cringe asf #bsd #fluff #dazai x you #dazaikinning

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 1 year

Text

I didn't think I'd really need to come back here after everything. It's so stupid. My dad has given me my own weed and it is way stronger than the pills. So many different ways it affects me. But I've been mostly sober since the attempt that started all this. Ig partially out of respect.. I feel like it wouldn't be fair to my parents if I continue my junkie ways after they had to listen to me scream and yell about how I felt trapped and then when things open up, boom still doing it

I dunno if that makes sense tbh.. lemme know ik I suck at explaining things correctly.

Anyway I've been sober 99% of the time since. I kinda don't like smoking as much now. It made my teeth hurt and I hallucinate when I get high. It's nothing crazy no where near as vivid the dph hallucinations get ofc. Tho it still scares me so bad. It can range anywhere to a few small & constant noises that makes everything hard to hear unless I'm focusing to hallucinations that put me in a state of delusion. I get so scared about ts I can't move. 9 times out of 10 I get this weird feeling someone or something is there and if I make a sound they'll come up to me. Those are the worst feeling ones dude I know there's no reason for me to assume anything is there but I just stiff up and cry as quietly as I can until I can work up the courage to check if they're "still there"

I used to do that when I was coming down from benadryl actually. I'd be too forgetful to be scared of anything like that mid high but all hell broke once it was wearing off

It makes me so annoyed. It makes me wonder if that's something I'll just have to deal with from here on or should I just stay sober from here on and hope for the best. It all makes me miss the pills so fucking bad. I was taking those for so long and it just felt like I knew pretty much anyway they'd effect me atp. It was straightforward

Dph made my heartbeat harder -> also made my heart sore when I'm not on it

The pills dehydrated me -> annnd if I took it too far, I'd go acidic and jaundice (which im ngl happened way more often than I wanted to admit.. when I tried to od again in December I was quite literally neon!)

Taking so many at once making my stomach have to dissolve anywhere from four to high twenties worth of pills at a time -> which led my stomach to get irritated and eager to get that shit out and made various issues there

But now? What. I don't even have anyway to measure so it's just a thing of.. o guess it kicked in, ig I can't hear rn. Oop dang ig I got too high now I physically have to focus on not freaking out over something that is not fucking happening. Oh what ig these stupid fucking edibles make my head hurt instead of making me high. Fun!!

I'm so over this shit. Im trying so hard to stay away. I didn't like dph after a while. You can scroll back and see so many things I hated about it. And yet I think about it every single day. I miss it so much. I used to be able to take a few pills and then poof blank out for a little while. As long as I took care after the fact, I'd be mostly fine. But now I have to deal with the unpredictability of my own mind or whatever nonsense I have to feel when I smoke/eat edibles

R has been really bumpy for me too. I don't know why like.. I've really been happy about our friendship lately. I feel like seeing how fucked up I had to be to my parents to make them listen gave me a new appreciation for her. I haven't blown up at her in a while but omfg I've done it a lot throughout our time together. Tho, she's still here for me. Nothing really changed. And I love her for that. I'm really just a random person online fr. At any point she could just decide she's fed up with me and ghost. But she endured my nonsense and still pushed me to look at things different. I never know how to bring that up without sounding like it's a romantic thing

Which has been eating at me so bad as of late. I don't know what th I feel towards her. If im still in love I wouldn't be shocked but it feels different from how I felt before the whole blowup a lil bit after she broke up with her ex. She's my safe space but she is also kinda fucked up to me sometimes. But I really can't help myself. I still worry about her all the time, I genuinely try to know everything and anything going on with her wherever possible, and I let so much go unspoken not blowing up and trying to keep her perspective in mind where I can.. I want her to not have to worry sm I hate that my presence has become a double edged sword. I love her so much it's become overbearing and hard to hide. I know it makes her feel pressure to hide stuff to keep up appearances/impressions. Shit sucks. It makes me feel like I'm in a parent's position atp..

Tho all that being said I feel like she still interprets my actions as some elaborate way to make her like me. Or me tryna be nice so that she falls in love with me. Some shit. And ik that sounds so paranoid and baseless but its been a pattern atp.

Everytime I get cheery and tryna treat her like ya know, my best friend, its like she takes that shit diff and mentions her ex as a way to tell me to back off. And I don't get it. Like no dummy I'm not excitedly talking about shit to lure you in YOU ARE MY FRIEND. MY CLOSESTTT. I know that she won't judge me for me and since she knows me so well, I rarely have to give too much of a backstory to talk about anything. It's nice. And I guess I abuse that privilege a lot. Maybe I should be better about not running to her about everything. But then like me being concerned and interested about what she's up to makes her do it as well. She briefly got with someone else (they've already broken up she ain't getting a codename 🥴) and I noticed her using her for that purpose too for a bit. Well. Before she got annoyed with her existence lolol

But yeah anyway like.. has that pattern already been there and I haven't noticed? Am I overthinking this action too hard and twisting it? It's frustrating me so bad cause I don't get why she interprets it like that. Am I just so oblivious I don't see how obviously in love I am and she's tryna push me out of that...? Or is she being self destructive and can't view my love as anything but manipulation.

Confessing to her has become one of my biggest regrets. It changed so much I hate myself for believing I was in lala land. Stupid fucking girl. All I could see was how much I liked talking wth her and it just slipped out. I didn't realize just how many fucking consequences it'd bring after the fact. I feel like im constantly dancing around shit. I wish I never said anything. Im so tired of having to study my every action to make sure I don't seem too eager to speak. I forget it happened some days but it feels like that's all she sees me as. I don't understand what to do atp. I don't want to lose her, we are completely ride or die aside from this. But my GOD I CANT TAKE IT. I feel like it's become such a giant elephant and it's going to rift everything once it's brought up. I don't want to piss her off and lose her for good

Between her and my ex.. I lowkey think I'm done with the whole romance thing this feeling is the absolute worst. Any time I express that myself in that way I come out of it feeling so stupid. It stings so much worse this time around. Least with my ex even though the shit only lasted a few months IT HAPPENED. I feel crazy feeling this exact same stupid feeling with someone I haven't even dated before. And for me to feel WORSE.. HOW?? I've avoided dating specifically so I wouldn't feel this way and then I stumbled and did the shit AGAIN! Let myself fall into even deeper feelings with someone that didn't even like me. Again. And I'm stinging worse than I ever was before. Crazy. I hope I never like anyone again.

I've been feeling blank as of late. Even with my family life improving and my health improving I still feel empty. The same I did before. It feels like now I'm performing a different role, but still feel the same. It felt so good to have everything in the open and finally dropping dph for good (probably) originally. But I really feel no better now that the dust has settled. Everything just shifted some

I try to be more open and honest about myself and what I feel but the central issues I don't know how to express. It feels unfair to air that shit out to R, my family or any of my friends since I know I won't believe them. It's so easy to say the right thing. So easy to assure me you love me. You care. But do you mean it? Or are you saying it because that's what you're "expected" to say and do? I dont trust a word out any of their mouths when it comes to shit like that. Looking at their unconscious actions and how and what they say feels like the most honest view of their thoughts. And a whole lot of that made me feel the way I feel. What's words going to fix when I can physically SEEE AND HEAR all the shit proving otherwise replaying in my head? Why listen to you try to cover your own ass when the evidence is already there? We both see the cards on the table. There's no point trying to sway me into looking at them different.

But I feel bad not being able to shake that sense. I know part of my thinking is irrational. It's fucked up I can't listen and change my view. It's like theyre speaking to a brick wall. It's almost like they can never fuck up since I can't let ts go once I've noticed it. I try to keep myself together because of that. I hate the grandiose acting I have to do to get through the day

I won't lie. I really sit there and wish I would've died that day. It's like ever since that last time ever since I got all my ducks in a row and decided I'm okay with no taking part in life, it suddenly made everything feel tedioussss. It gets on my nerves so bad I've been so angry. I wish I would've just kept my mouth shut and let things finally crumble down on its own so I could be left to pop pills til I either got it right and ended myself or guzzle em until I fucked myself up so bad I'd die without my intervention 💀💀

None of this seems to be worth it and I'm kinda over it. I made my decision. It fucking sucks that I'm still being forced along this stupid junk when I already decided it was all worthless. I wish I could hide away and just stop participating in society. Never talk again. Never play another game. Never spend a single cent. Just total isolation. I wish all the games I play were single player so no one would think to chat with me while we're playing. I wish the world was filled with robots so that I could go in and out of a store without thinking bout if the employees are thinking I'm stealing or wondering if anyone thinks I look as cool as I think I look

I wish it were just a lil bubble just for me. Go into a store, grab what I want, walk out. Dress up anywhere and take 10000 pictures that no one'll see. But idc cause i look so prettyyy and I like seeing myself in all my cute lil outfits. Eat what I want and how weirdly I want without people looking at me crazy. I swear it's all doable but it all feels like I'd have to completely ignore the outside world for me to be happy. Even shit like having to say good morning to my parents or thank you to someone holding the door open for me pisses me off. When I'm not in the mood for speaking, I aint in the mood for any and all speaking no matter how small. And lately uh it's been all I feeling

I don't know why I don't feel the motivation to try to kill myself again. Ig I don't even care enough to atp. I've been so over it now. I've been feeling kinda apathetic to everything to a degree. Not that it hasn't been nice to have clarity on everything. But I don't care to fix any of it anymore. I was done that day i tried to kill myself you know? Being here still didn't really change anything in my perspective. If I had a button right in front of me that'd instantly end me 100% guaranteed I'd put on a nice lil outfit then push that shit with a swiftness

I'd be shocked if don't end up relapsing atp. I'm tired of thinking

#dph addiction #dph #benadryl #diphenhydramine #vent #excessively long

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minimoefoe · 7 months

Text

realised that when a cat is in the carriers we got and you pick it up the floor of the carrier like, doesn't keep its shape bc its made of fabric and not anything solid and I told my dad and he was like 'meh that's only when you pick it up tho' and I'm like... first of yeah no shit, its not gonna get misshapen when it's on solid ground is it and second of all, that's.. the entire issue like he basically just said 'it only is mishapen at the exact time when it needs to keep its shape' fucking idiot

the cats already don't like being in their carriers so putting them in a carrier where the floor isn't stable is gonna stress them out even more. google actually said that nervous cats should get plastic carriers and not fabric ones bc they're harder to escape from but usually my cats just meow a lot when theyre in the carriers, they dont really try and get away so that shouldn't be a massive issue

they literally have vets today so there's not much that can be done unless my dad has two bits of perfectly sized wood that we can slot into them. we have two other plastic carriers that we used when we took them last time but if we have to use them this time then I'm gonna have to go with my mum (bc carrying the two plastic carriers is difficult but the fabric ones are way easier to carry on your own) and I'd really rather not have to do that

I was gonna message my mum about it but idk how to word it so im gonna have to just wait and mention it to her when she gets home from work. there'll be like an hour between then and when they have to be at the vets so we'll have that time to either fix it or find the plastic carriers we have.

if she doesn't see why it's a problem I might lose my fuckin mind bc it's so obvious why the floor of a cat carrier needs to be solid. like, let's be fuckin serious for five seconds. my dad's instant dismissal of it really pissed me off

edit: I phoned her and she was like asking how bad it was and I was like well it's not great and THEN she made a comment like 'well it'll only be when we go from house to car and from car to vet and then back again' and I'm like YEAH and that's still a problem. like. if they're gonna be uncomfortable everytime we have to move them then that's a problem even if the trip is only 30 seconds long each time like ??????

anyways I said I'd try and figure out a way to sort it but if I can't then I'm gonna have to go up with her which irritates me but whatever I guess

edit 2.0: found some bits of wood that fit in pretty well god BLESS. one of the bits of wood is a bit thicker so gotta make sure the lighter cat goes in that one so it's easier to carry lmao. although the fatter cat being in the one with thicker wood probs makes more sense stability-wise but we tested it with the bigger cat (bc she's the only one around rn) and she was fine in both of them so it should be cool

#*mycats

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spidernerdsblog · 3 years

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Yo, it's 'that time of the month' for me right now and I seriously hate life rn.... I could do with some headcanons of how mob Tom Holland would react to the reader not acting like some deranged she hulk but rather she's just calm and internally wishing to set the world on fire?

ah hang in there girl you'll get through it. i'm just grateful i never got cramps thanks to whatever cramp preventing gene i inherited from my mom lol.

Auntie flo

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings : none

It was quite early in the morning as you felt a sharp sting of pain shoot down your abdomen. You rolled over on your bed groaning and it didn't take much time for you to realize that your auntie flo has come to pay you her monthly visit. You sit up letting out a huff to find Tom’s side of the bed empty who's most probably out for his morning run. Removing the covers you got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. You took out the box of tampons from the cabinet when you felt another cramp.

“Fuck” you muttered clutching at your abdomen already getting the hint of how shitty the week is going to be for you being constantly hungry, bloated accompanied with frequent mood swings.

Your sleep was ruined anyway so you made your way down to the kitchen. Taking out the jar of nutella you grabbed a spoon and scooped out a large portion as you ate in peace. Tom returned after sometime and was surprised to see you awake as you aren’t much of a morning person.

“You're up early today, everything ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah I'm fine don't worry” you tried to sound cheerful. You and Tom have been together for six months now but still you felt a little uncomfortable with talking about it openly to him. Tom didn’t ask anything further as he went to take a shower.

Despite feeling exhausted you dragged yourself to the office for the scheduled meeting after all you were Tom’s P.A too. You sat on your chair silently listening to the client going on and on to negotiate a deal by putting forward some stupid arguments which just started giving you a headache. Your irritation rising with every passing moment.

Tom also found you to be oddly silent today because usually you're quick to come forth with counter arguments. When something struck his mind as he pulled out his phone and checked the calendar. Yep it was that time of the month for you and by the look on your face he could totally make out that you’re in the mood of choking the life out of everyone in the room. Even though you don’t really talk to him about it, within these six months he has figured out how even the littlest of things annoyed you during this time and still you’ll choose to suffer in silence.

“Darling, why don’t you take the day off today?” his voice broke you out of your zone.

“What about the meeting? You asked with a frown.

“I can handle this, don't worry, go and take some rest” he said softly. You didn’t argue much and slowly went back to your room. Slipping into your comfy pjs and throwing your hair into a messy bun you plopped on your bed with a heating pad placed on your lower belly.

After getting done with the meeting Tom went straight to your shared bedroom to check up on you and finds you tucked under the covers as he goes around the bed and sits near the headboard.

“Hey, how is my princess doing?” he knelt down to kiss your forehead gently.

“Surviving” you mumbled sitting up.

“It’s ok love. See I brought you your favorite ice cream” he brought out the ice cream he was hiding behind his back. You eagerly took it from him as he handed you a spoon. You immediately delved in already starting to feel a lot better.

“How did you know?” you asked while licking your spoon clean.

“Well I know you don’t like to talk about it so I just downloaded the app and synced it with yours” he said bashfully.

“Aww Tom that’s so sweet of you and I’m sorry I just don’t want to bother you with these petty issues of mine” you said as Tom reached out his hands to cup your face lovingly.

“Hey you’re the most important person in my life, you can never bother me” his warm brown eyes gazing into yours “Also I’ve ordered from your favorite restaurant so we can stay all day in bed and cuddle watching your favorite movies. How does the idea sound?”

“I love it Tom! You’re the best boyfriend ever!” you squealed pulling him to you to capture his lips softly.

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fluff #mob! tom holland #mob! tom

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jeojahari · 3 years

Text

02 | kiss it better | myg

🠒 summary: you're one of the lucky ones, everyone else tells you. finding your soulmate the day you turn 18 isn't something that happens to a lot of people... but you and your other half are going to have to make a lot of progress to be able to tolerate each other.

or, you and yoongi can feel everything the other feels, and you're hell bent on causing each other pain.

🠒 pairing: yoongi x reader

🠒 genre: angst, fluff, e2l!au, soulmates!au, college au, crack?

🠒 warnings: profanity, implied smut

🠒 word count: 2.6K

🠒 notes: omg tysm for all the love im literally about to start happy sobbing rn TT i hope you enjoy this chapter!! <3

btw if my writing is not up to par at any time pls let me know, i'd hate to give you low effort writing TT

part 02: two band-aids

(series m. list)

"I am so fucking stupid."

"I know."

"I can't believe I just ran out of there without saying anything!"

"Ah. I can."

"How is it Yoongi, though? I don't understand! How can two people who are so obviously different and have zero chance at getting along be paired like this?!"

"Hey," Jimin places a comforting hand on your shoulder, "maybe this is the universe trying to prove that you can find love where you least expect it!"

You shoot him the nastiest glare you can conjure up in the moment. "You sound like a children's fairy tale synopsis. Please shut up."

"No, but think about it!" Jimin sits upright, pulling the nearest pillow into his lap. "You don't like him, and he probably doesn't like you. You hate coffee, and he's practically in love with it. The only reason you guys ever interact is Taehyung, who you happen to be in love with."

"I'm not in love with him!"

"Sure," Jimin rolls his eyes. "Anyways, this is literally the perfect recipe for romance. I feel like I have front-row seats to the best enemies to lovers story ever."

"Don't make me hit you."

"It's true, though," Namjoon pipes up from beside you. You're sandwiched between both of them in an attempt to extinguish the growing dread in the pit of your stomach. "You don't really know what he's like, Y/N. People aren't always what they seem at first glance."

"I had more than just a glance," you snap. "And I know him for exactly what he is. A fucking sociopath."

"I mean, he's nice enough," Jimin explains. "I've spoken to him a few times in passing. Maybe he just wasn't having a good day when you talked to him?"

You pause and think, because your friends are right. It's plausible, isn't it? Not every grumpy person you meet goes out of their way to be antisocial... but you can't shake off that feeling you've harbored ever since you first met him.

"I don't like this," you whine, hiding your face under the blanket. "I don't like him. I don't want to be his soulmate."

Namjoon chuckles. "Soulmates aren't always lovers, Y/N. If he's actually a sociopath, or you genuinely despise him after giving him a chance, you're not obligated to love him."

"True," Jimin nods. "My parents were never soulmates, but you know how well they get along. They had me, after all," he adds as an afterthought. "They couldn't have done that without loving each other."

Namjoon winces. "Okay, no. Didn't need to hear that."

You let out a frustrated groan, kicking your legs under the sheets. "I hate this," you grumble. "And I can't even do anything ab — oh!" You sit up, suddenly enlightened and an imaginary lightbulb over your head. "I can!"

"You can what?" Jimin asks, clearly confused. In response, you simply beam at him before doing an impromptu somersault over his legs and tumbling right off the bed, landing on the ground with a loud thump.

"Y/N?!"

"She's insane!"

"She's gone mental!"

"Is she having a seizure?"

"Do we need an ambulance?!"

"Is she okay?"

"Joon, I'm too broke to pay for the ambulance!"

You throw them both off of you. "I'm right here, very much alive, and very sane, thanks."

"Well, what was that, then?" Jimin demands. "If you were trying to show off your gymnastics skills, it didn't work. You look like a clumsy baby koala."

You point at Namjoon. "He's the clumsy one. And no, I wasn't trying to show you my nonexistent gymnastics skills." A huge smile spreads across your face. "I just discovered a great way to release all my frustration."

"By falling off the bed?"

"No, but yes." You lean in like you're about to tell them a secret. "You know... I bet Min Yoongi is cursing the heavens right now, isn't he? For pairing him with someone like me."

Namjoon stares at you incredulously. "Don't tell me..."

"She's going to do it anyway," Jimin tells him, before turning to you. "You're just going to hurt yourself to hurt him, Y/N? Are you for real?"

"It's perfect!"

"It's stupid, and usually I would tell you to go for it if you were planning to kick some dumbass's butt, but not if you're getting hurt in the process."

"Well, I'm doing it anyway," you say. You're 100% decided; you've just found the one part of your bond with Yoongi that delights you the most, and with that comes your singular goal: irritating him to no end. "And this isn't even that bad, Jimin. Wait until I'm on my period. Then he's really going to wish he never knew me."

Actually, you're screwed.

"Ouch!" you hiss, your body jerking at the pain that courses through your arm. You're forced to stop writing mid-word, the dark blue ink a mess on your paper due to these constant interruptions of your sudden movements. "What the fuck?!"

The girl sitting across from you raises her eyebrows at you, half concerned for your sanity.

"Sorry," you whisper apologetically. "My soulmate's a jerk. Honestly, I probably caused this, but I don't regret it at all."

She laughs, eyes turning into small crescents. "Hate at first sight?"

"More like at first conversation." You sigh, letting the pen fall from your fingers. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get along with him, let alone love him. We have absolutely nothing in common, and I'm pretty sure this dislike is mutual. Which reminds me—"

You bang your knee against the table in retribution for Yoongi's attack on his own arm, a satisfied smile on your face.

"Wow." The girl stares at you, rather taken aback. "That's some serious beef you two have got."

"Yep. Can't stand him," you confirm. "What about you? Have you found yours yet?"

"Not yet," she says, trying to look indifferent — but you catch that wistful look in her eyes. "Someday soon, hopefully."

"You'll find them," you say, the exact words you've repeated to Jimin multiple times over the years. "Time is all it takes. I hope yours is less of a jerk than mine... and if they are, I'm more than happy to instruct you in the ways of torturing them."

"Noted," she smiles, before returning to her book.

You, though, can't focus. Actually, you haven't been able to concentrate on anything lately — ever since this trivial back and forth between you and Yoongi turned into something more desperate and warlike, it's all that's ever on your mind.

Sighing, you stand up, leaving your place at the table to go fetch a book from one of the many shelves lining the opposite wall of the library. It doesn't take you long to find what you're looking for, but you immediately stumble over and hit the ground, nearly knocking your head against the wood of the shelf.

"Fuck," you hear someone curse in the next aisle. You know that voice, you realize after a few seconds, immediately ducking your head around the corner in amused curiosity.

"What'd you do to yourself this time?"

Yoongi scowls at you from the ground, as irked as always. "None of your business."

"It kind of is, actually, now that I feel it too."

"Oh, really? Where was that concern when you were hurting yourself just to get back at me for doing absolutely nothing?"

"You did it back! You have no right to be telling me what I did was wrong if you decided to do it too!"

"Why the hell did you do it in the first place?"

"Shh!" The librarian walks past the two of you, giving you a sharp glare as she replaces a few books with the ones in her hands. You nod apologetically to her, head bowed.

"You're so loud," you whisper a few seconds later, just as Yoongi gets himself off the ground and has managed to gather the books he'd dropped.

"You literally started yelling first, Y/N."

A deep frown makes its way onto your face. "You know what? I still don't understand why you're like this. Can we not have a civil conversation for once? Every time I talk to you it turns into a goddamn argument!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if you'd just minded your own business, we wouldn't be having this argument!" Yoongi pauses for a breath. "You always make it an argument, Y/N, I don't go out of my way to pick a fight with you!"

"Isn't that what you're doing right now?"

"No! I just don't understand your problem with me! Look," he says, a little calmer, "I know you don't want to be my soulmate. And I'm not particularly in love with you either. But you can at least act like I'm human too, right? Or is that too much for your inflated pride?"

"Did you just call me arrogant?" you ask incredulously, trailing after him as he walks back to where he was sitting. "You think I'm doing this because I'm conceited?"

"N—"

"Well, for your information, I'm not. I just really dislike you."

Yoongi tongues his cheek in frustration, slamming his book down onto the table. "And for what?" he demands. "I like to know it if and when I fuck up, Y/N. Stop repeating the fact that you hate me and just tell me why."

You flinch at his harsh tone and the sensation that sends a painful twinge through your palm. "You're just... you're so hard to talk to," you accuse. "Like, really? How am I supposed to wrap my head around this whole thing when I can't have a conversation with you without feeling like shit?"

He's gaping at you now. "I'm making you feel like shit? And you're not doing the same by basically trash talking me to my face?"

"I'm not! I'm just telling the truth; and besides, you asked!"

"Who are you to go around judging the way people are? Not everyone is bubbly and cheery, you know? Being grumpy for a second doesn't mean being grumpy for a lifetime!"

"Well, I can't tell, can I? Not when you always act like you hate the rest of the human race!"

Yoongi doesn't reply to you, just staring back at you for a few moments. Instead, his jaw clenches as he turns away without any kind of rebuttal.

"Alright," he says gruffly. "I'll go first."

Your eyes widen slightly as your frustration dissipates. You'd only meant to check on him out of curiosity after his fall, you hadn't intended for it to escalate to this scale at all... "Wait—"

"Don't bother to talk to me next time," he interrupts you, a hint of bitterness to his voice. "Since I always make you feel like shit, anyways."

"No, I didn't m—"

Yoongi's gone before you can give him any miserable excuse from your side, bag slung over his shoulder and that cup of coffee in his right hand. You catch a glimpse of his fingers wrapped around the cup, two band-aids covering the knuckles of his smallest digits, and you can't help but wonder... did you do that to him? All those days you spent wrapping bandages around your legs and arms, was he doing the same?

But you hate him, right? No matter how closely bound you two are, you're allowed to do this, aren't you?

You don't know.

You recall the sight of his worn out expression and sigh, shaking your head. Whatever it is about Min Yoongi that draws the worst out of you, you'll never know. All you're sure of is that apparently you're supposed to love him, apparently you're supposed to be his and vice versa. But you just can't.

As you trudge back to your seat, you notice that the girl from earlier is still there, still taking diligent notes — except her eyes now follow you, a mixture of concern and curiosity.

"I'm fine," you state. The words come out far harsher than intended, but she doesn't seem to take offense.

"Really?" she asks instead. "S'great if you are, but if you're not then you're just lying to yourself, Y/N."

You blink at her, surprised. "Huh? How'd you know my name?"

"You guys were yelling," she explains. "I could hear him from over here."

"Aish. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She chews on her pencil for a second, seemingly contemplating something. "Mind if I give you my two cents?"

The girl's awfully blunt and gets right to the point, and it reminds you of your friends for a moment. Something about her just makes you want to trust her, to let her in.

So you shrug your shoulders and say, "Sure."

"Second chances only come once."

"Huh?"

She nods, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You don't really know anything about him," she says. "You don't know what's happened to him before. You could be his second chance, and he probably just took a blow after that whole debacle you two had over there."

"What?"

She chuckles softly, and you find yourself rethinking your stance on the situation. She's right, she's right, your heart tells you, but your brain is saying something else entirely, and it's maddening.

"Give him a chance, Y/N. Everyone deserves one."

Hours later, you're still thinking about what a random stranger said to you at the library earlier.

Yoongi? A chance? No, thank you. You don't need to waste any more of your time on guys that aren't going to give you the time of day once they're not interested.

And yet, a small part of your conscience says otherwise. He's not just any guy, it reminds you. You're soulmates for a reason.

You're so frustrated you want to tear your hair out. "Soulmates are stupid!"

Jimin walks into your room with two cans of soda, an eyebrow raised as he tosses one to you. "Yikes, Y/N. What's gotten into you today?"

"Min Yoongi," you grumble.

Your best friend gapes at you, nearly spilling his soda all over himself. "I'm sorry, what?"

"What?"

"Already, Y/N?!"

You're confused as you take a sip of the sweet drink. "Already what, Jimin?"

He's opening and closing his mouth, eyes so wide he looks like a clown out of those children's cartoons. "You and Yoongi — you guys — I can't believe you finally got laid!"

This prompts you to spit out the liquid in your mouth, dissolving into a coughing fit as you try and regain your breath.

"There, there," Jimin says, stroking your back gently. "I won't mention it again if you don't want me to, I'm sorry. Was he a bad lay?"

"A bad what? Jimin, I don't know what you think I'm doing, but having sex with him is most certainly not on my list," you frown.

Your best friend, on the other hand, looks totally dumbfounded.

"Huh? But you answered with his name!"

You smack the side of his head gently. "That's not how idioms work, dumbass."

"Okay, sheesh, sorry," he apologizes, rubbing his temple. "But really, though. Everything okay with Yoongi?"

"Not really," you say truthfully, "but it's fine. Neither of us are expecting anything from the other."

Jimin looks skeptical as he eyes you carefully. "You sure?"

"Mhm."

He tilts his head back, draining the can of soda as he swallows. "You know, Y/N, maybe you should give the guy a chance."

There it is again, that word. The one thing everyone tells you that you need to give.

But is it worth your time? Is he worth your time? Or is he just going to walk away and leave you broken again? Maybe you're being selfish, but you'd rather spare yourself the heartbreak process than willingly go into something you know won't be good for you.

"Yeah, okay," you lie through your teeth, soda can still nearly full in your hand. "Maybe I will."

taglist: @meiadore @kimnamjoonluvbot @im-gay-no-matter-who-i-date @fangirl125reader @helenazbmrskai @min-yus @janeelizabeth1216 @chimchiekookie @chimchoom @igotnotype @beach-bitch-bitch-beach

taglist is still open! send an ask if you'd like me to add you <3

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#yoongi #yoongi soulmate au #yoongi enemies to lovers #yoongi college au #bts #bts fanfiction #bts college au #bts soulmate au #bts enemies to lovers #fluff #angst #crack?? idk #yoongi series #part 2 #mine #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic

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