#anti anti twilight

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 7

Featuring Twilight being both queer and homophobic, more deranged Rosalie fan dumb, and a random simping for Sarah J. Maas. On nom nom away

Twilight Is Homophobic AND Queer!!1!!

Or…and I’m just throwing it out there…Twilight is a romance and the romance genre are notoriously heterosexual???? To the point where one of its nastier tropes is the predatory gay villain (looking at you, Outlander)????

Hell, even now the number of homosexual characters in romances are low, mostly just limited to supporting characters. I suppose it’s improved in recent years, but even in fantasy romance you get, like, Mor from ACOTAR.

At least Clown OP has the self-awareness to know they are indeed writing fanfic.

But regarding the “Edward/Bella would never last and they would get divorced!!” clownery…what canonical basis is there even???? They could barely last six months apart without having a complete nervous breakdown. Yes, they are blinded by their own insecurities and delusions, but they eventually communicate and resolve their issues fairly easily. Their love proves greater and helps them overcome these.

You would think Kristen Stewart would have an easier time playing Bella if she were so obviously bi-coded. Instead we got the most awkward and ill-fitting performance of a major character in years, to the point where her version of the character is among the most hated film characters—ever. Part of it is definitely the stupid script and questionable direction, but there is also a matter of casting type. Bella is a modernized romance heroine while Stewart is a grounded indie actress who at BEST can play a major fantasy heroine—a more emotionally intelligent version of Katniss. Perhaps an animated TV show will be beneficial in that respect, in actually casting for the character.

Rosalie Fan Dumb

Bella: *wants to be a vampire*

Rosalie: How dare you, an autonomous individual different from me, make a completely different choice than what I would make!!!1!! 😡

Clown OP: Complexity 😍

Seriously, we have got to have a long talk about this fandom’s idealization of Rosalie resenting Bella her own autonomy and pissing on her own choices. Edward literally has the exact same position as Rosalie (except that homeboy doesn’t hate Bella for it and understands why) but he is criticized so much more harshly. What the hell is going on?

Also, Bella was gung-ho on becoming a vampire anyway, so this pregnancy did not change her plans in the slightest. Hell, it was her plan to get changed right after birthing Renesmee, so it was all on her terms. Let’s not pretend she was at any point coerced into vampirism! For all this whinging about Bella’s agency, it’s the anti fandom itself that refuses to acknowledge it.

Except that in Midnight Sun we do see Rosalie’s hostility from Edward’s POV and boy, is it super petty and irrational—she cannot even stand to be in the same room as Bella! It’s completely juvenile, which is well, par de course for vampires frozen in their adolescent state.

But again we have the victim blaming. Bella’s existence doesn’t endanger the Cullens; it’s the Cullens’ existence that endangers Bella, as Edward correctly notes and angsts about. The only way Bella endangers the Cullens is that she knows their secret—but of course, she would never tell, so it’s moot point. It’s not even on the table after the car accident scene.

Sarah J. Maas? You mean the author with prose like unseasoned rice? You mean the author with 80% of the most boring ass worldbuilding and 20% actual erotic sex scenes, her actual strength? You mean the author who literally turned her first love interest evil and stripped him of all his personality in the sequel just so that her female MC could end up with the fan favorite antagonist (who drugged her and made her dance suggestively in front of people)? That Sarah J. Maas? A better writer than Meyer? Really????

#🤮 #twilight #twilight renaissance #anti anti twilight #twilight clown takes #not antis thinking maas is a better writer than meyer 🤣 #i could barely slog through the second book #and so light on the sex scenes!!! when that’s her biggest strength!!! #i was promised good faerie dick goddamnit!!!! #the most incoherent worldbuilding too

[beauty-funny-trippy]

#Twilight Zone #Rod Serling #justice #democracy #donald trump #Democrats #Republicans #politics #government #us politics #America #trump #maga #vote #election #beauty-funny-trippy #satire #humor #anti-trump #anti-republican

[novaricewrites]

Very tired of the shadowy/darkness-themed brooding male love interests in fantasy romance books. Especially the ones where the character revolves heavily around sex / sexualization.

This is especially irritating when they are 'healed' or complete as people because they are dating the protag. Seriously. It just promotes that toxic 'You can fix him with love' concept. This is such an inherently harmful message.

Not saying those kind of broody characters shouldn't be allowed to exist at all. However, the dominance of that character type over other portrayals in romance especially, subscribes to the common notion of masculinity having only one desirable form.

The main lead does not have to be the most powerful, the most virile, most tragic or most intimidating.

It's shallow and overdone.

Why can't the men and boys in these leads also be written as thoughtful and warm, sunlight characters. Soft hands and gentle voices. Complex and spirited and vibrant. Let them also be kind, lovely and full of quiet things.

I have so many thoughts on this general topic that go into way too many directions to summarize in one post.

#is this prompted by my fondness of peeta mellark maybe #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti ic #anti acotar #men in media #fantasy romance #masculinity in literature #lucien vanserra #and the point is why are they often not the main love interests but just a side character when they are not that typical format #twilight too #we should not perpetuate the idea of men being fixed by love and sex #this literally connects to the victim blaming mindset #you should have given him a chance bullshit

[kwop-kilawtley]

EVERYTHING we love about bella is stripped away by Edward and vampirism. Her clumsiness, her blush, her brown eyes. The way she loves the sun and Arizona. She loved to cook and now she will never eat again. She hated the cold and now she is cold stone. Edward discards her truck and replaces it with a brand new Mercedes’ she didn’t even like. Which always felt like symbolism to me. Some may see it as an upgrade, as a nice gift… but Bella never wanted it. Think of how EXCITED she was to get that truck and how uncomfortable she was then with the Mercedes. If Bella wanted an upgrade, SHE SHOULDVE PICKED THE CAR. But no.. Edward literally just DISCARDED IT. Bella never liked flashy things or parties but now she’s subjected to that forever.

I think it’s fucking insane that people will say theyre Team Edward cause they’re not “anti-choice.” What did y’all read bc….. what. Just because Bella chooses to be a vampire? To die? She was OBSESSED with the easy way out. She was obsessed with Edward cause they were trauma bonded and she had such horrific self esteem. Just cause Bella chose to be a vampire doesn’t make it a good thing. It is a tragedy and always will be to me. Unless you never gave a fuck about her as a human I suppose. 😗✌️ Bella is an unreliable narrator and was under vampire thrall. Bella was severely traumatized by Edward and felt worthless as a human. Bella had a chance to grow with Jacob and she WOULD HAVE. But she would have PTSD that she could work through. You may be like “she would’ve never gotten over edward.” Yeah she would’ve and she would’ve realized that him haunting her was all Stockholm syndrome.

I’m not “anti choice” for acknowledging Bella’s choice was the wrong one. ExB’s relationship ruined lives, killed people, put the wolfpack through literal HELL and eventually enslaved the wolfpack to them. All for “love” LMAO! It wasn’t love, it was obsession, bloodlust, trauma bonding, low self worth, co dependency.

Anyway. I started a Breaking Dawn rewrite fic where Bella realizes all this shit and heals.

#team jacob #twilight renaissance #twilight #jacob x bella #bella x jacob #team Edward #anti Edward Cullen

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If a version of Midnight Sun existed for each following instalment of the Twilight series (New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn), what do you think they’d be called/what would you call them and what (new) scenes would be in them?

Anon, you speak my greatest dream. I want this in my life. If no one else does, then I am the sole person who does. If there is not one person who wants this, it means that I have died.

I need this.

But for now, I can only imagine (and no doubt fail miserably to what it would be in actuality).

New Moon

The thing is that Meyer would also want to call this New Moon for the reason that she called it New Moon for Bella: this is a book about hopelessness. Edward leaves, Bella's soulmate, she literally cannot survive without him and this book is her discovering "oh, yeah, I literally cannot survive without him" (and making friends with Jacob but let's be real Meyer was never that into that).

It's a book where the moon, the light, is gone.

For Edward, we have the same narrative, he tries to leave Bella for her own good, fails, has a miserable time, and comes crawling back only to find that he's made everything worse.

But because Edward is more dramatic, and to thematically work with Midnight Sun (named thus as Bella is the unexpected sunlight in what should be the darkest of Edward's nights) we have Polar Night which is the phenomenon opposite of Midnight Sun where instead of the sun never setting at all we have the night never ending.

As for what would be in it. My friend, my beautiful friend, everything would be in it.

We'd get the scene where Edward bullies his family into leaving, many of them having reservations, and then steals all Bella's photographs and tries and fails to steal the stereo out of her car. We'd get scenes of Edward fantasizing about Bella marrying and holding hands with MiKe NEWtoN and it being entirely too much for him. We get all of the birthday party, period, which from Edward's point of view would no doubt be insane.

We have Edward so fucking depressed that he feels he's bringing the family down and chooses to leave on the vague pretext of catching Victoria. Then he doesn't catch Victoria and loses her in Mexico but is so depressed he just keeps going south until he hits Brazil.

Where he stays, and per what he says to Bella (which is undoubtedly not the entire truth) he was fucking miserable and did nothing for months. Did he have a Hallucination Bella who told him not to eat human food because it'd make him sick? Did he write a rock opera about Bella Swan only to realize it didn't live up to real life and burn it in a fit of despair and anger? What about the family calling to check in? We know that happened, Rosalie could reach Edward and he answered, so did they just call and quietly try to ask if Edward's coming back home or not? You know? Anytime? Edward?

And then of course his pleading for death with the Volturi, being told no, planning his elaborate massacre-suicide before settling on good old suicide without any murder and Bella being alive and that whole debacle from his point of view including "OH NO OTHER MAN MOVED IN" when he realizes Jacob's... kind of... a thing...

Everything would be new in part because we see so little of Edward and given the insanity in Midnight Sun that was never in Twilight I can't even guess to what Edward got up to for months in Rio.

It could be fucking anything.

Eclipse

Or "Edward did a bad thing and is now very nervous" the novel. As for what it's call, this is less clear as we have to go with the sun/moon themes here, and Eclipse is already taken. If we're allowed weather related events maybe "Eye of the Hurricane" as there's a storm out there and this book is about Edward barely holding his shit together. This is his nightmare scenario in every way.

Bella has a new love interest, a friend she believes is platonic who is very interested in her, and worse, Edward actually does admire and is hands down in Edward's opinion the better man for her to be with. Bella's changed when he was gone and is now an adrenaline junky, what else about her has changed? How much did he miss? She's involved in werewolves who all hate Edward, for good reason, and want her to leave him, for good reason. Edward has discovered that he actually can't leave Bella, Alice was right, even though he wants to be that strong desperately. Bella got the family to agree to turn her and they'll do it, Edward's barely gotten her to agree to be turned by him instead, but she's hemming and hawing about marrying and committing to him and she wants him to bang him (which will likely lead to her death)

Edward is straight up not having a good time, bro.

So, we'd get Edward's insane plans to keep Bella and Jacob apart, his meeting Bella in the road after her looking like he'd love nothing more than to pull The Terminator where he chases her car down. We get Edward's increasing nervousness that Bella "wants to be with him forever" but "doesn't want to marry him" (which for Edward, understandably as he doesn't have Bella's background, is something that just doesn't compute). And there's Jacob, kissing Bella, warming her up at night, thinking very dirty things when Edward's sitting right there internally screaming.

And of course, offscreen things with the family, likely venting about the Denali who are leaving them to die because they won't let them kill the children Native Americans, wondering if they're all going to die in this fight, even more of the tent scene with Jacob (which I'm sure, somehow, I'm sure, got very homoerotic in there). Probably sobbing to Alice "I fucked up" and then hating Rosalie BECAUSE THIS IS ALL HER FAULT HISS HISS.

And of course, what we know he sees from Bree and perhaps the discussion with the family that Bella never got to be privy to.

And I imagine a lot of fantasies of Bella pregnant with Jacob's beautiful babies.

Breaking Dawn

I'm going to bow out for this one too, Meyer would want to name it that. Maybe we get "Hailey's Comet" or something, in that Edward has related Bella to a comet streaking across the bleak sky of his life and this is him learning to accept to be happy and perhaps good things are allowed to happen to him.

But anyways.

I mean.

We get Breaking Dawn.

We get Edward gearing himself up for sex and asking the family how to bang a woman. We know he did this. Canonically he confesses to Bella, in the weirdest manner possible, that he asked his entire family how to do it (and it made it clear that Carlisle didn't really approve and was pretty :/ and "don't do it" about all of it). We get the family probably watching Alice like hawks because they're waiting for her to tell them if Bella lived or died through intercourse. We get Edward interrogating the maid in Portuguese and god knows what they even said to one another but it had to be wild.

We get Edward planning Bella's abortion, the betrayal by Rosalie yet again, and then more planning of her forced abortion with Jacob and his opinion on Jacob turning from "respected rival" into "my only friend".

Then we get Edward's complete flip on Renesmee which must have been... I don't even know. But he'd be thinking she's the spawn of Satan before that (in the most Edward manner possible) and then that she's Jesus after that (in the most Edward manner possible).

Then of course there's "my son, Jacob" and honestly probably fantasizing about an adult Renesmee pregnant with Jacob's beautiful babies. Let's be real here. and just...

Look.

I can't predict this.

What we saw of Breaking Dawn was already insane and this would only be more so because it's Edward. There's so much we don't see as Bella pays 0 attention to the other vampires and to the family at large and Edward would just...

I have no idea.

It would just be madness.

TL;DR

I need this.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

[icedsodapop]

Something something... the difference between how Stephanie Meyer depicts women in relation to the fantastical creature they are associated with.... something something... for White women, being associated with vampires is empowering for them, protects them... something something... but for Native American women, being associated with werewolves brings them nothing but pain and suffering judging by how the most prominent Ndn female characters, Leah and Emily, are treated within the narrative.... hmm, interesting...

#anti native racism #white feminism #twilight #anti twilight #leah clearwater

[amyhayanora]

So, I meserably failed my Inktober this year. XD The fun fact is that I’ve even made up my own prompts list, which means I could have had stuff done months ago. But nope, I wanted the daily challenge. And life just keeps getting the way of my... well, life, so... At least here there’s what I have done! I wanted a manga aesthetic this year, so screentones, hoping the quality will not kill them xD   **back to work on commissions**

#Inktober #kingtobhearts2022 #kingtobhearts #Black and White #kh sora #kh1sora #naminè #ventus #aqua #daybreak town #Twilight Town #rage form #anti form

[the-aila-test]

I'm going to be working on a video essay about BIPOC who have a long list of grievances against Twilight and Stephenie Meyer's racism. I want the focus to be primarily Indigenous people (ESPECIALLY Quileute folks) but any non-Indigenous Black and People of Color are welcome to contribute. Please message me if you're interested.

If you are from the Quileute community, ESPECIALLY if you have first hand experience with the tourism and/or racism that Twilight brought to your communities, please reach out. You will be kept anonymous if you don't wish to go on the record.

#indigenous #quileute #native american #BIPOC #twilight #twilight renaissance #stephenie Meyer #anti-native racism

[simsim54]

edward: *lying on the floor* I miss jacob jasper: he's been gone 5 minutes edward: *sniffs* I miss my jake emmett: he's gone to the fucking shop edward: *full on crying* I miss my alpha jacob: *walks through the door* honey, i'm home edward: fuck you mutt, didn't notice you were even gone

#jakeward #edward cullen #jacob black #jasper cullen #emmett cullen #twilight #team jakeward #robert pattinson #taylor lautner #youtube #relatable #for my jakeward heart #rarepair #team anti bella swan #the twilight saga #edward x jacob #jacob x edward #eclipse #new moon #breaking dawn #twilight saga #stephanie meyer #shapeshifter #alpha jacob black #fantasy #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #spilled ink #gay

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 4

What is it about YouTube and its breeding ground for Twilight clownery???? Some of it is very basic clownery, too. Also, the fake outrage on behalf of the Quileutes by engaging in racist interpretations of the text is…something else. Regardless, there I came upon the feast, and so I shall eat.

“The Wolves Are Savage” and Other Racisms

What.

You mean those same books that described the vampires in the same way as beasts, who not only growl and roar and snarl, but literally cannot smell blood without going literally crazy like sharks? The same books that described vampires as almost entirely solitary creatures who don’t usually form covens (because then they would turn against each other in competition for their human prey? The same books that had nothing but evil red-eyed vampires (James, Victoria, the Volturi) until the very last book of the series where we are introduced to sympathetic non-vegetarian vampires (Garrett, the Amazonians, etc.)?

Meanwhile the werewolves keep their reason and intelligence intact while they’re in their wolf forms and do not suffer from bloodlust. Their dangerousness comes from their youth and inexperience in shifting—the oldest of the pack is Sam at 18 and he was literally the first and only one to do it without help.

The books adore the Cullens. But it makes it damn clear that they (and the Denalis) are the exceptions that prove the rule. Otherwise Twilight vampires are sociopathic beasts and, as Edward explicitly said in book one, the Quileutes are right to keep their distance. And no, this wasn’t by accident or ~bad writing. Meyer is deliberate in her framing, as well as her characterization of the wolves.

Tfw your accusation of racism is racist

Bella asked Jacob if he could stop being a werewolf because she mistakenly thought him and his wolf buddies were literally killing people. When she learned otherwise, she was literally, “Oh, no, Jake, I’m fine with you turning into a giant wolf. That doesn’t bother me at all.” (This is near VERBATIM, not even joking). Bella is a monsterfucker, after all. She’s just not into that kind of bestiality.

Tfw your accusation of racism is racist

Yes, because imprinting is something the wolves 100% have control over and it’s something they can reject. There is nothing random about imprinting at all.

Otherwise—once again—the wolves have vastly more control over their wolf forms than the vampires over their thirst (the Cullens and Denalis excepted). And of course, their body counts are close to zero—compare them to the Cullens and Denalis. Only Sam has injured another human and that was by accident. Even the hothead Paul has no kills or injuries, whereas his counterpart Emmett has at least three.

MORMONISM OMG

Because Mormonism is the only religion that values and reveres close family ties. Only Mormonism supports the patriarchal family and believes in the organization of society through the familial unit. Only Mormonism is heteronormative and actively homophobic. No other culture or religion gives a fuck.

(Also, the Prodigal Son??? Literally the most common and basic Biblical allusion ever. Literally every major writer has alluded to it, including Shakespeare. It is not just a Mormon thing, oh God 😭😭😭😭😭😭 This kind of clownery eats itself).

Bella Hate Dumb Round ♾️

Bella turned down Mike and told him explicitly that it would hurt Jessica’s feelings if she went with him to the dance. She did go to La Push with him and her friends and was happy that it was “so easy” to please Mike. She rescued Angela from having to answer Jessica’s annoying questions about Eric by changing the subject. She helped Angela and Jessica find dresses and explicitly enjoyed their girls’ night out in Port Angeles. She had zero opinion on Lauren until she overheard her shit talking Bella (literally) behind her back. She listened to Jessica’s date with Mike and was glad it went all right.

Bella being mean to her friends is clownery so easily debunked—at worst, she is not particularly close to any of them except Angela. If she was reserved or distant with them, it was because she hates any and all attention to herself, period. It was her first day at a new school where everyone knew each other, and was already overwhelmed with introductions and learning her schedule and teachers’s and classmates’s names. The behavior Edward notices in Midnight Sun does not go against her character in Twilight at all and is a continuation of this self-abnegating tendency.

Edward literally went to Italy to get himself killed by the vampire elite and explicitly said that he could not live in a world where Bella did not exist. Before that, he basically admitted that when he wasn’t hunting Victoria he curled up into a ball and let the despair take him. Meanwhile Bella did not consider suicide (though ~just barely) because of Charlie and Renée. After her one week coma period she did make an effort at keeping up appearances, which included getting all A’s even in her weakest subject, Calculus.

It’s disgusting, all right: A male character who cannot live without his woman. What kind of a message is that sending to our poor impressionable boys???!!!!!

Didn’t Edward literally stop murdering child molesters and pedophiles because his conscience got to him that it was, indeed, still murder? And didn’t at least one clown still complain about how Mormon it was of him to care for human life? Now the clowns insist Edward doesn’t care about humans and humanity at all.

Even if Edward did care only about Carlisle’s disappointment, it wasn’t because he considers himself his perfect son. If anything Edward suffers from the same kind of self-esteem issues as Bella—in New Moon, he flatly denies Aro’s praise/assertion that his self-control puts Carlisle to shame. Edward thinks of Carlisle because he loves Carlisle like a father and thinks the world of him. He did save him from permanent death, after all.

#twilight #twilight clownery #twilight clown takes #anti anti twilight #damn the vitriol toward mormonism is incredible #i’m an atheist so all religions are bollocks to me #we don’t even know how observant meyer is #because honestly a lot of twilight goes against the religious conservatism

[queenofglassbeliever]

Rosalie says she never loved Edward as anything more than a brother, but is mad when he shows no romantic interest in her.

She gets jealous when he shows an interest in Bella even though at this point she's been with Emmett for about 70 years.

She hates being a vampire, would rather have died, yet she asks Carlisle to turn a dying Emmett for her.

When asked by Edward what she would do if she were in Bella's position and Emmett in his, Rosalie can't give a clear answer. Some part of Rosalie would give up Emmett for a human life.

Rose has very little regard for human life. She only cares about the romanticized human life she lost.

She's about respecting choices, but only if it's a choice she agrees with. Rosalie supports Bella's choice to go through with the pregnancy, but only because it's something she would have personally done. Up until then, Rose has shown very little respect or care for Bella's choices. She tries to dissuade Bella, but never tries to understand Bella's POV.

I love Rosalie, but Smeyer made her so selfish and contradictory that loving her is really hard sometimes.

#the twilight saga #twilight #rosalie hale #rosalie lillian hale #twilight renaissance #midnight sun #twilight eclipse #breaking dawn #twilight books #bella swan #emmett cullen #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #anti smeyer

[therealvinelle]

Why do you and muffin think Edward is gay and not bi?

Because the way Midnight Sun reads, he likes the idea of being attracted to women and thinks that's what he feels around Bella, but what he actually describes is appreciation of an aesthetic as well as desire to drink her blood.

#edward cullen #twilight #twilight renaissance #anti edward cullen

[personalheroin]

idk.. the way edward talks to bella is so degrading. he really treated her like she was incapable of making responsible decisions (shes not, as later revealed to us but he didnt know that) I don’t see how anyone could like Edward. If a man treated me like that i would avoid him like the plague. If i saw him in my fucking bedroom?? I’d file a fucking restraining order. What the hell makes you think i’d let this disrespectful ass bitch watch me sleep? EVEN IF HE WASNT MEAN TO ME, SOMEONE, A STRANGER, COMING INTO MY BEDROOM TO WATCH ME SLEEP IS ALWAYS MEGA CREEPY.

#twilight #the twilight saga #twilight saga #jacob black #edward cullen #bella swan #twilight renaissance #team jacob #anti edward cullen #anti edward #the twilight series #twilight revival

[kwop-kilawtley]

“At LeAsT EdWaRd UnDeRStAnDs CoNsEnT”

You know you guys are talking about a guy who literally planned on murdering her, stalked her before they knew each other, snuck into her bedroom to watch her sleep, stalked her out of town, snooped through her things, made her do things she doesn’t want to do (prom, parties, wedding) disabled her truck, BROKE her truck to get rid of it even tho she loves it, told her she couldn’t see her best friend/true love bc he’s dangerous even tho his entire purpose is to protect humans from vampires and even tho his brother tried to kill her and every single near death experience she’s had is bc of vampires and him. 💀

#twilight renaissance #twilight #LMFAO #like I said RVERY post I see from an anti Jacob I will level out the playing field here #anti Edward Cullen #team jacob #jacob x bella #CONSENT KING LMFAOO what a joke tbfh #it was to protect her they say #ok LMFAOooo protect her from what???? why is she in this mess time and time again #oh yes bc of HIM #he’s a stupid fuck and his first mistake was pursing her #but go on talk about consent lmfao #team jacob is for bad bitches

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Recently re-read new moon and the search party section of the book (post forest break up) just seems so nightmarish to me now. Charlie not immediately putting out a search or alert for the Cullens (who just so happened to have all left town after their son was last seen with the missing teen girl), makes sense since he does not want to think badly of them. But poor Billy, who must be head in hands at home panicking because he told her this would happen and oh God his friends child is now dead and there was nothing more he could have done. I'd have lit bonfires as well knowing she was okay and they have left the town, forever and unharmed.

(I love yours and vinelles work, even when it inspires me to re-read the series with the context of being an adult and also very concerned lol)

It's a beautiful thing that Charlie never again likes Edward after New Moon and that neither Bella nor Edward fully realize why this is the case.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #charlie swan #billy black #bella swan #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

[fuckmeyer]

girl please, Charlie Swan is Team Werewolf and you know it

#it's like Bella has no conception of the socioeconomic symbolism attached to these monsters!! #girl why on earth would the middleclass police chief of a tiny rural town in Washington #choose the wealthy murderous parasites????? #OK besties as i'm typing that out i see why charlie might side with the wealthy murderous parasites #yes he IS an american cop so siding with the parasites does make sense #but think of all the paperwork he would have to do when the cullens kill someone! i mean. come on. #also it aint like cullen out there paying off the pigs so really what is Charlie getting out of this relationship #it's no bribes all paperwork? i don't care how American this cop is he is Anti Vamp and that's that on that #WEREWOLVES on the other hand......... besties let's review the cold fax ok #they're a blue collar blue jeans blue skies all day baby kinda monster. crack open a cold one with the boys kinda monster. #pull over on the road to lend you some spark plugs kinda monster. bring a dairy-based dip to the charity softball game kinda monster #big plus: they're on the DL. neat & tidy cover story. no killing. protect & serve yeah baby. no parasites here my boys WORK for a living #the boys are 0% paperwork (no killing) and 100% bribes (dairy-based dips) #Charlie's deffo Team Werewolf at best and turning a blind eye at worst #as far as this man's concerned the werewolves are the Olympic Natl Park rangers' problem #bear who???? don't know em #twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the twilight saga #jacob black #charlie swan #eclipse read