#and theyre on okay terms now anyway its not like they hate each other or anything its just awkward

[atthebell]

@ everyone saying bagi doesn't consider cellbit her brother anymore/doesn't care about him.... how does it feel to completely misunderstand her character

#bell.txt #SORRY people were on such a trend of that a bit ago and it drove me crazy #they were clearly planning a reconciliation of sorts and then that entire arc got fucked #and theyre on okay terms now anyway its not like they hate each other or anything its just awkward #and they havent had time to actually spend together bc shit keeps happening #bagi cares so much about people on what PLANET would she just decide she doesn't consider him family anymore #yes she doesn't want her whole narrative to be about him that doesn't mean theyre not family anymore #anyway. #i hope they kill cucurucho together

[hrghhhhhhhhh]

whooooo, i read ur last reply to that holohacker question and i'd be super interested to hear how u would navigate what u said at one point! when u explained that the writers made them more and more annoyed with each other, meaner etc up to the point of not acknowledging each other anymore to show that they were never supposed to have a romantic spark, how would u do the other thing u recommended? like finding what canon gives u, filling the gaps etc if filling the gaps and seeing things in a romantic light made the writers so pissed about the ship in the first place - isn't that juss killing the ship for good? anyway thank u for giving such in depth replies ilu

I feel like the way i navigate these things is not framing the writers' intent as, like, emotional? ... idk how to phrase this, but i will try.

from this language: "made the writers pissed" it puts A LOT of intent in the writers hands that i dont think is there to begin with. I dont think theyre mad, per se, I do realize my prev answer may have sounded like the writers were being retaliatory - but thats not how i meant it!! It feels more like a gentle guiding back to their plot, NOT a full erasure, if im honest!

I don't really feel like their lines have been any meaner than they originally were, BUT i do feel like their lines are a little flatter together. which, again, i don't think comes with the baggage of the writers being "pissed". I think theyre just trying to deliver plot points. I personally feel like the plotpoints are: Too far apart, Too scattered by diff mediums, AND honestly not worth the wait most of the time. Thats not to say i think the entire thing SUCKS. I simply think its a pretty good plot told in the farthest-apart and briefest way possible. Totally frustrating.

OKAY SO now that thats all OUT of my brain: I dont think theyre making them hate each other at all! They have shallow interactions. but its not as black and white of "if they talk, theyre in love, and if they dont, they hate each others' guts". Actually thinking of the two of them getting comfortable with the other one in the room is so lovely; truly breaking through both of their personas and therefore NOT making either of them pretend around the other, and becoming comfy (thats my bread & butter baybey) As for the Killing the Ship: This is why i like to take canon very very lightly (im sorry thats my answer for everything LMAO) . I'm very used to Mirage being reduced to Mr Jokes The Clownman, and Crypto to his "solitary corner". I do get sad that theres NUTHIN' going on in terms of development for them together lately. BUT i don't have to settle for hollow (ha) Mirage, and boring loner Crypto! I can enrich them! Cause i'm not trying to shoehorn stuff into the current canon, they can exist side by side, they can intertwine, etc etc!

I am a multishipper so please, understand that ive been doing these mental gymnastics for a wHILE now akjdgskjh

TY FOR YOUR Q i hope i made sense <3

#ty for askin'

[selamat-linting]

there was a few things i missed and got wrong on my homestuck liveblog yesterday. first of all, i mistook terezi with kanaya with that morallegiance chat with vriska. makes sense, they used to be roleplay buddies until that mess of an incident. not taking away vriska's responsibility from that clusterfuck but, wonder how much of it is doc scratch influence. good god girl, why are you gambling with a literal god? also WHY rose is trusting that white ball asshole? i dont like him at all. he's basically responsible to a lot of the mess the trolls and beta kids is going through.

anyway, at the last page i left off, terezi and vriska's attitude towards each other is largely shown in the boy-off with dave and john. with karkat screaming in the background (he always screams in the background). so its easy to miss that theyre very much in a weird complicated, frenemy state with each other. that in between space where you're not sure if theyre genuinely fucking hates each other or theyre ribbing on each other like two meanspirited friends do. i've been there sister, i've been there.

speaking of vriska (again, because she is my child who has every disease), oh her relationship/friendship with tavros is very conflicted and, i dare say, delicious? this is something that im sure would hit even harder if tavros wasnt relegated to the butt of ableist jokes more than he's treated as a character but. trust me. imagine youre tavros. your friend(?) is vriska. she crippled you, she saved your life, she berates you at every turn, she kissed you. deep down she only wants best for you. she wanted you to kill her. she wanted you to hate her enough to do it. she doesnt want to bleed to death alone. she's begging you to kill her. she's could have forced you to do it but she doesnt. because this is for you both to grow stronger and survive. thats all she wanted all along. for you both to thrive in a world that eats you alive. she needs you to kill her. oh god *head in hands*

-so its really really sad to see vriska being so lonely after killing tavros. she dug a hole too deep to get out alone and the remaining friends she had that could have accepted her again are all dead or too burned out of her. i wish they both can meet each other again. just to talk and find closure. like, tavros deserves to be angry with vriska and he deserves to have that peace he always wanted from her. and vriska deserves to start being a better person and getting some peace of mind. she deserves a chance, is all im saying. like, its okay if tavros cant give it to her. but some of her friends could. maybe terezi? the worst they ever do to each other in terms of direct harm is the eye injury. or maybe karkat? oh god i dont want to hear them arguing, i would go deaf!

-at least vriska has john! its nice to see them being friends with each other. Tbh john has been a breath of fresh air (hehe) in all the doom and gloom. im not looking forward to him meeting his dead dad but right now, my boy is walking around the village with one of the finest music i heard so far. and then he drive a flying car with WV. its just, he is so positive and amidst a set of characters who lost all of their innocence, he remains as the one guy who tries to enjoy the game and take everything in stride. he felt smug when the salamanders keep referencing in his title, he bought everyone hats and snacks, he gave moral support to vriska. the harley and egbert family is so positive about everything and its so endearing!

-AND JADE! fuck yeah she's starting to show how awesome she is. YES JADE say fuck you to karkat! its been long overdue!!! she also should say fuck you to vriska too as a treat. and fuck you to tavros too. and fuck you to that prince of hope (more like doom lol) who blew up her computer. she deserve monetary compensation to deal with that troll polycruel.

-special mention to dave btw. i dont remember him doing anything particularly exciting lately but i believe he's the one carrying the team. john and jade had to do their quest to be effective in defeating the english demon guy (the brits are all demons lol) and rose had to be their prime researcher and strategist, so he basically did the save everyone's ass part. i cant wait to see him hang out with terezi. Also is it bad of me to want him go godtier? Like, it would be interesting.

-and other time aspect characters i want to appreciate, aradia! babygirl have finally get rid of her hopelessness and come back to life! and now she's bringing the gang back together!!! and putting the pieces on why gamzee suddenly breaks. too bad gamzee never had a chance to show his personality. anyway, im starting to think i was wrong about lil cal. like, i think it was posessed but oh no its just bro moving him around, but somehow that fucking puppet is the one wrapped up in literally everything. aradia finds that shitty doll and somehow its connected to gamzee losing it and the game sgurb and doc scratch and... whats going on????

-in conclusion, timebound kids are always the one carrying the team. they are hard to find but theyre the one who could determine how you win or lose the game.

-but how can i forget? kanaya! she came through. i really thought she was dead! but she is alive, and she kills people with a chainsaw than apply lipstick to her bloodstreak lips. she is trying so hard to be Hinged. final girl behavior fr. i wonder how she's going to meet rose again. i hope she talked rose out of that suicide mission.

-and can we talk about karkat? man, imagine leading an army of kids who did kill and maim each other before the game even starts. imagine being the lowest of the social hierarchy and trying to make the most toxic friendgroup filled with racists and murderers to listen to you. imagine being able to do that despite all the odds, bring them to victory, and have the price right on your hands only for it to be ripped away and your friends devolve into chaos and murder several hours later. its a failure of untold magnitude. no wonder he's so disturbed and angry at himself and everyone.

-okay now that im done with the characters. i want to compliment how good everyone looks. the art and the fashions are all sooo amazing. the talksprite is also wonderful. im inclined to change my pfp into feferi's talksprite because i like her design so much. also because hooray! She's just dead, not corrupted by horrorterrors. in my mind she is laughing at tavros and doomed dave rap battle while surrounded by beautiful scenery

-also, i cant believe infinite stairs are referenced AGAIN with sollux and karkat. and SMUPPET ASS JOKE? on tavros dead body? lmao. okay i need to see smuppet ass on dave again. he was just so funny with it. and karkat shipping craze with jadesprite and jade. the jokes are really good, fr

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #homestuck liveread

[fairywithgremlintendencies]

hi jas! (i hope its okay if i call you that)

anyways i had was wondering if you had any tips on how to further develop an oc

i have a few ocs and i have fleshed out a general idea about them, but theyre still just really general and i wanted to see if you have any advice on how to make an oc more thorough and unique :)

im sorry its a lottt

evan!! :D you can 100% call me jas, you're actually the first to do so on here *hands you a medal* <33

also don't be sorry! original characters are literally my life and have been for. god. around 2 years or so! BUT ANYWAY I'LL GET INTO THE IMPORTANT STUFF

an important thing to acknowledge is that general character ideas are in themselves so important, in terms of seeing a particular character through. if you're hooked enough on the general vibe of an oc, you're probably going to be more likely to do more work with them in the future, weather that's by drawing them, thinking about them, writing, whatever that may be. There are several ways to make a character appeal to you, the maker. i cannot stress enough how important it is for the creator to be invested in their characters. for example, when i was starting to get into a certain show I noticed that i loved how contrasting the character's personalities were, and how they all interacted together. for me, lots of characters being present was a part of the appeal because i'm interested in how they interact/their connections to each other! therefore that's kind of what my character's story centers around. human connection! (or semi human, in my case.) what i'm trying to say is that if you're running out of ideas, turning to media for inspiration is a go to and can really help!!! even if it's just like "whoa, this character in this show has something special about them, I wonder how i could use this to inspire my own work!" find what you tend to like seeing in characters. how could you use your knowledge of what you find appealing to make this character likable? (if that's what you're going for, a hated character can be fun too sometimes >:) )

also one last thing about base ideas/general ideas. they will change. its important to be flexible with these kinds of things, as creativity can be a complex process and your characters are bound to evolve over time, which is awesome and beautiful.

ONTO FURTHER DEVELOPMENT!!

it's important to make your characters seem "real" in a sense. even if they're based somewhere other than earth, characters are more relatable when they seem more "human" or realistic. By this i mean don't be afraid to give your characters flaws! let them make mistakes! as well as it being good for their development, it's also way more fun to portray.

also, character backgrounds. families!! (if relevant.) people tend to take on traits of their parents, grandparents, etc and sometimes it's best to start with those relatives. i'll give an example. my initial main cast of ocs was just a handful of people. they had their own story forming and it was looking okay. after a while, i came up with future kids for some of these characters and how the parent's features would be shown through these future characters. .....long story short those "future kids" characters are now my main cast. by (accidentally) developing them from this angle, i was able to flesh out important things like their parent's backstories and past connections to my antagonist, how that will affect my main characters, (what trauma could this cause? what conflicts could arise?) and how different and diverse families can look. (found families, single parents, children adopted into families because one of the older characters had similar problems to them growing up,) the list goes on! something that can make characters seem more fleshed out is their relationships with other characters, and their backstories/motives/fears etc! also!! it's always interesting to see how a character's attitude and personality changes throughout their story. for example, how they act at the beginning may be very different to how they act when something is revealed about them later/conflict arises or something similar.

idk how much of an in depth answer you need but it does depend on if you want to have well rounded characters just to have, or if you want to put them in a storyline. in terms of art, if you ever want to design your characters yourself, finding artists that have a style similar to how you imagine your characters can be so helpful, and you can learn so much about your characters by seeing them on paper/on a screen! (like when i imagine my character concepts, there's always some things i don't think about until i draw/colour them, like the colour of their eyes!)

ALSO ALSO ask yourself things like

do they have any physical features connected to their past? does your character embrace them or try to hide them?

does your character have any insecurities?

how does your character feel about (insert activity here)

how does your character tend to process difficult or strong emotions?

if your character has siblings, what is their relationship to them like?

creating character bios can also really really help! general details that I like to include are full name, age, where they're from, nicknames, if any, (my personal favourite part) birthday, any details on any powers they have if any, personality types, (optional but can also help to see how they think a bit better, what their core fears are etc) gender, sexuality, pronouns, any random trivia/facts, and notable friends and family!

also, diversifying characters can help a lot with variety and i really recommend it. having characters with different abilities, disabilities, sexualities, gender identities, gender expressions, ethnicities, etc is all so interesting to develop for a character, and i've learned a lot from doing it! i also like to throw little aspects of myself into my characters! for example, one of my main ocs experiences gender the same as me is many ways! we have similar dysphoria triggers and our gender presentation is almost the same! my protagonist is a lot like me personality wise, and one of my other characters has the same family dynamic problems that i face (not enough motivation to be as helpful as one feels they should be in a family environment etc) i actively encourage projecting onto characters. very therapeutic. also!!! characters are more complex than they seem at first glance. if you think about how you see the world and your experiences, there's probably lots of layers and complexities to that! characters are similar! that's why i personally base my protag off of me a bit, because it means that i already have a solid understanding of her!

ok i've really been rambling but i hope this helps! creating characters is a lengthy process (i have over 100 and have fully visually developed like 4) but it's so worth it in my opinion <3333

#leaf asks #long post #leaf ocs #noah :) #tries to bold some things to make it easier to read for whoever needs those accommodations bc i would if i was reading this #ocs #oc development #caps

[relaxxattack]

to be unfortunately fair zayne clingyduo fought and that just ended in both of them getting trauma and never talking about their problems even after both of them showed major suicidal tendencies and even with tommy consistently prompting tubbo to be honest w his feelings </3

i dont think beeduo falling out would even result in them talking i think if they had a big fight theyd both be so avoidant that they genuinely just. dont anymore. theyre back to awkward friends but now they have to work around having a son (and even then, not truly. they never moved in to the mansion, michael lives with tubbo and they cant move him in with ranboo, no point. ranboo can visit, obviously, but its hard knowing now hes just another person to protect michael from in tubbos eyes), the mansion stays unused, ranboo feels too awkward to help with the outpost anymore and tubbo just relies on the stacks of cookies until eventually hes starving and only makes enough to last until he goes back home (after all, he cant ask ranboo for food anymore and he doesnt know who else to ask because they all seem to be rather limited food wise, but hey, at least he can be legit about the cookie thing now. if anyone notices that tubbos voice is flat when he stops asking for money in exchange theyre too afraid to mention it, and if they do they only get false assurances in response)

tubbos so outwardly apathetic towards a lot of things and ranboos known for taking things in the worst way possible, and neither could quite get to a point of being petty, being spiteful, theyd just be. burnt out. ranboo would move on to the prison outbreak maybe, or if that already happened, just helping tommy (except wilbur hates him and so does quackity and he thinks fundys starting to too and hes already hurt over tubbo hating him [from his perspective] that he cant deal with any of it) and in the end just starts retreating on himself, back into the arctic, afraid to talk to anyone because his options are techno, phil, and niki and he loves them sure but theyre destructive and ranboos still scared of what they would do to tubbo if they now knew tubbo hurt him too

theyre dysfunctional together, certainly, but a fight wouldnt help mend anything between them, not a big fight anyways, and if a small fight was enough to make them stay apart temporarily itd be enough to just tear them apart for a long, long time. theyd fall apart and with everyone focused on their own thing, no one else would help them, especially not without tubbo or ranboo reaching out (and we all know they wouldnt, at most theyd make side comments just to wave it off and go "its fine, im fine, im just overreacting, he was right" to anyone that asked). tubbo wouldnt ask for them to talk unless it was to talk about ranboo, and ranboo would want to talk about both of them but tubbos not going to budge on expressing his emotions and ranboo wouldnt push it, and if he did either one or both would get frustrated and theyd be back at square one

i dont think a falling out would help them, theyd just fall apart and eventually it becomes another thing for ranboo to feel guilty about and for tubbo to wave off and go "in the past, im fine, michaels fine, and im sure hes fine as well, in his own little way". really i think itd take gradual growth for both sides. opening up in their own little ways, small questions from both sides that prod at the other until they open up further. and i think thatd work best for tubbo and ranboos rp style anyways, small steps towards growth and mutual confort rather than Big Events that tear them apart or bring them back together (thats more a clingyduo thing, and again, even they dont talk about their problems). quiet growths of mutual respect until eventually tubbos not using "you wont remember" as an excuse for covering up that he just trusts ranboo and feels comfortable enough to share and eventually ranboo shares his train of thought more openly and tubbo gently nudges him into believing in himself more (even if it comes with a few lighthearted jabs)

tubbo and ranboo arent big gestures kind of people, and i think thatd still be the case in terms of their relationship. after all, they just signed the papers, no ceremony or all. it seems like big steps to others maybe, but to them its the most natural thing of all. also i dont think mr and mr "im going to move in with my best friend for 4 months then we're going to stay over again for 3 more months just in a different country and from there honestly we dont know if wed be able to stay apart, it feels so natural that the other is more than just another person to me" would be able to handle their characters being on bad terms. i think if they had to rp a negative event between each other they just wouldnt. like even that experiment scene would be played nowadays like ranboo joking along w tubbo too and them just getting into shenanigans before eventually forgetting that the experiments were going to happen bc theyre having fun mining and making deez nuts jokes or some shit LMAO -🎭🎪

OKAY FINE. WHATEVER.

#good analysis as always though #i didn’t really think about it like that #but i also really feel like without something Happening #they’re never gonna get better at communicating #because rn it’s working fine for them #i feel like something needs to happen that proves to them that they need to talk shit out #asking questions yeah but theyre both stubborn #idk idk #ranboo meta #tubbo meta

[jiminrings]

oh im mean if i wrote the ending it would started with oc sending jimin away while theyre both crying and then boom time jump 3 years and its all about hers and tae's relationship and she goes to therapy and evaluates how shit went down w jimin and now she finds herself happy and at peace. her heartburn is now a dull ache when she thinks about jimin. tae and oc get engaged and its super romantic. oc bumps into soomin and they drop everything and cry and hug each other and taehyung is holding oc's shopping bags like ok 🧍but he understands. he has no beef w her ex's family who obv love her and is supportive when the girls grab a seat at the food court to catch up. tae says he'll check out some stores and kisses her head before he leaves and its so CUTE. and jimins sister says she looks happy. and that she's glad she's happy. and they have a nice heart to heart and ofc jimin is brought up. jimins not doing great but he's doing his best, and he knows he fucked up. anyways they promise to keep in touch and she better be invited to the wedding!! and ofc she is!! oc also meets up w yoongi and they talk about the wedding and her run in with soomin. they talk about jimin and it leaves with oc thinking about calling jimin to give them both proper closure. yoongi supports if she does it or not. she talks to tae about it and he's sweet and supportive and even oc is like you're not worried i'll run away with him and he's like no. and she's like why and taehyung says because i trust you, with my whole being. i know you, and i know you wouldn't do that. and i love you so much. and jokes, like, even if you did, i'd chase after you like i did when (ACCIDENT) and never let go. and she just cries BUT IN A GOOD WAY BC SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH. so she meets up with jimin and its awkward and kind of painful where they talk about where things went wrong. but jimin agrees w his sis, oc looks happy and he's glad. he's obv in love w her but he's glad to see her happy. he tells her he's so, so sorry. he knows he took her for granted. he's finally starting therapy. he wants to change and be someone he doesn't hate. and oc says thats good. he doesnt have to keep punishing himself and jimin cries bc its a weird mix of relief and regret he's feeling hearing oc say that. they both wish eo the best and jimin thanks her for seeing him. he'll always love her and hopes they'll cross paths again on better terms. oc would like that, itll take some time. he understands. they both leave feeling bittersweet but lighter. oc comes home to tae who showers her with love and kisses. jimin sees yoongi right after and they chat and yoongi pats his shoulder in support. it'll be okay. and it ends with another time jump of 2 years with tae and ocs beautiful wedding!! yoongi, soomin and jimin parents attending. they comment on jimins invitation, they dont know if he'll show. but!! jimin shows up at the reception last minute to give his well wishes and for the first time in years oc doesnt feel heartburn when she sees him, but genuine joy. he looks like himself again. he just came back from a recital so he rushed and he's going on tour etc and he gives the couple his best wishes. he's seeing someone and oc is so glad for him. he takes his leave and the happy couple go home and make love and ITS A HAPPY ENDING AND IM SO SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG 😭

IM EATING THIS UPPPPPPP OH MY GOD IM SPEECHLESS BABE I LOVE UR BRAIN SO MUCH LIKE I LOVE THE THINGS YOU’VE PUT IN HERE FROM START TO FINISH YOURE JOKING ME OH MY GODDDD

#me n taehyung holding oc’s bags rn NOOOOOO THIS IS SO SO GOOD ARE U KIDDING ME 😭😭😭😭😭 CANT EVEN USE MY WORDS #answered #heartburn feed

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Tommy’s (and Tubbo’s) Character /rp /dSMP

This is a bit of a rant so like be warned. I have nothing against any CCs mentioned in this, this is all roleplay, lighthearted, and just a bit of fun analysis. Mostly this is a ramble about how I see certain people analysing Tommy’s character on tumblr and twt, and why I think they’re wrong. This isn’t directed at anyone specific, just a trend I’ve been seeing that kinda irks me. I don’t dislike the fandom, just a few ‘takes’ have been really weird for me.

TW for everything below: analysing the effects of trauma, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and lack of therapy.

I’m not really liking how victim-blamey everyone is getting currently in the dSMP, both in fandom and canon. In canon with certain characters but especially in fan analysis posts and especially about Tommy and Tubbo. People legitimately celebrating that Tommy might start ‘apologising’ for his actions more and 'growing as a person' somehow don’t realise that hes been made this way through a tonne of negative reinforcement. abuse, and gaslighting. And people blaming Tubbo for actions he had no choice in, rather than the actions he did choose.

Currently, as I see it, Tommy is so scared that anyone would find a reason to be pissed off at him that his fighting spirit has been completely crushed. He was exiled and abused when he should have been helped and given an understanding figure to guide him and teach him how to deal with things non-violently. In everyone’s eyes, the problem was that Tommy was creating violence with no real reason, acting recklessly and commiting crimes. Tubbo, having made him a part of his cabinet, knew that this would only harm the country. So instead of talking to him reasonably, he got angry, put him on trial, and punished him with the logbook (humiliating him by making him report back to Fundy, which he obviously hated). Tommy’s actions were, of course, bad, but did he deserve everyone ganging up on him? No. Especially when Tubbo was supposed to be in his corner, helping him out like he always said he would (”It’s me and you vs Dream” etc). This is the first betrayal of trust from Tommy’s POV. He doesn’t understand what he did wrong to its full extent, and no one can explain it to him. 

However, Tubbo was under a lot of pressure from Dream and George, and he’s a literal child President, so his ‘safety over friendship’ actions are understandable. I don’t believe Tubbo is solely to blame for anything he’s done in season 2, but it can’t all be excused. If you are to blame Tommy for his recklessness, you have to blame Tubbo, at least partially, for his disregard for Tommy’s feelings and mental state. There were other ways to go about the entire thing, including the trial, which was just horrible to watch, and agreeing to give Dream the disc, something Tommy gave him in pure confidence that it would be safe with Tubbo. Yikes moment.

At that time, Tubbo knew a lot of things about Tommy. In fact, he probably knew the most about Tommy out of anyone on the server. He knew the discs were incredibly important and a comfort item for Tommy. He knew Tommy had trauma from being exiled in the past. He knew Tommy was abused, or at least manipulated by Wilbur, in addition to growing up in war. Wilbur once told Tommy to stop being reckless, and Tommy listened, changing his attitude because he looked up to Wilbur so much. Then Wilbur said ‘let’s be the bad guys’ and stopped trying to mentor Tommy. There’s a conflict here, because Tommy was told by Wilbur that he wasn’t good enough to be President (links to the idea of ‘not being strong enough’) but he knows that Wilbur was a bad person. But Tommy is never given the chance to reconsile his feelings surrounding Wilbur, both because of Ghostbur and because of the conflict he starts with George. So he is harbouring a mixture of emotions about his mentor and brother, not understanding how to untangle the ‘real Tommy’ from the manipulated boy he became. 

What was going through his head when he stole from George and griefed him? Perhaps the thought that he needed to show he was still the same old Tommy. Maybe the need to ‘prove himself’ as a strong person? It could have just been an outlet for his trauma. He’s grown up in a world where everyone is either a friend or an enemy. George isn’t a friend. How was he supposed to know that hurting him was bad?

Tubbo was pressured into the actions he took against Tommy, but he was pressured far too easily. There is no moment where Tubbo turns to Tommy and makes sure he’s okay, he views him as ‘selfish’ and overdramatic, and sees his actions that way. This makes sense from Tubbo’s POV, he’s struggling to be President in ways that Wilbur *knew* he would, but in Tommy’s eyes this is the worst betrayal he’s ever known. The moment Tubbo (rightfully, but poorly executed) defies Tommy’s plan to hire Technoblade (ahem, seeing Techno as a weapon again) and exiles Tommy is the moment their friendship shatters. They’re two people who don’t understand each other anymore. Two people who are technically in the right, but only hurt each other. 

What Tommy needed was a therapist, instead he had Dream, who put out the fire of rebellion that made him so strong, and Techno, who was trying to help but doing it in the wrong way. 

People see tommy's change post-exile as a good thing because he's not as rebellious anymore and he’s thinking things through a lot before he does them, but they will soon realise that his rebellion was one of his best traits and the fact that no one saw it as anything but a problem really shows. He now second-guesses himself so much and is so scared of being wrong that everything seems too difficult and too dangerous. Every trait can have a positive and negative side. Tommy's defiant nature would have made him the perfect negotiator with a little practise. In fact, he had plenty of good ideas before he was exiled (using spirit against Dream, though it didnt work in the end, for example). The negative side of this was recklessness and the desire to cause problems on purpose, but what he needed was a friend (looking at you Tubbo) who understood that hes been through several wars, was manipulated by Wilbur, and hasnt known a time of peace where everyone who wasnt on his side was out to kill him. Now that ‘fight’ is gone he's just become easier to manipulate.

He may be getting better (see: telling Dream to go fuck himself) but there hasn't been any long-term growth because he was never told what kind of rebellion was good and what was bad. He was just told it was all bad. By Dream (and by Tubbo). Who he doesn't trust. So he's just going to revert back to his old ways because no one told him what was bad in a way that didn't make him feel like everyone was against him. Dream is the enemy (though Tommy’s feelings towards him are complicated, they make his brain go all ‘flippy floppy’) and Dream told him that rebellion was bad, so rebellion must be good always, right? 

And then there's Techno. Techno did nothing wrong except for when he did. Techno is 100% right except for when he isn’t. He doesn't understand Tommy because Tommy was never fully open about what Dream had done and how it affected him. That's not Tommys fault though, because who the fuck openly talks about their trauma? So neither of them are to blame for pretty much anything up until the confrontation at the community house. 

However, Techno's methods and ideology were not what Tommy needed. He was thrown from one extreme to another over and over again, from complete subservience to total rebellion. Neither of these inforce good attitudes in Tommy. One, as stated before, makes it so that he will regain his negative traits again. The other reinforces those violent traits as good, just like Wilbur did. The only difference is that Techno had good intentions, he wasnt trying to use Tommy, which is why he feels so used when Tommy 'betrays' him (Techno doesnt realise that he himself betrayed Tommy by teaming with Dream, he sees it more as a transaction than a personal thing). Techno feels so hurt by Tommy ‘viewing him as a weapon’ that he goes on with his no-mercy attack, completely dropping Tommy at his lowest point. 

Tommy says he doesn't want to be like everyone he's hated. In fact, he say's he is 'worse' than all the villains. This is very obviously untrue, though he was clearly going down a dangerous path with Techno's influence (see: bullying Fundy, spawning wither, kidnapping Connor, and saying that the discs are more important than Tubbo, more on that later). He's not a villain but who exactly has said he's not a villain. Dream? Techno? Neither of them can be trusted in his eyes. They say he's a good guy, Wilbur wanted to be the bad guy, who's right? He doesn't know. He has a crisis of morality. 

And? Some people want to point at that and say 'aha! Character development! He's finally realising his actions have a negative affect on others!' OH GOD NO??? He's a *child* who thinks that he is worse than his abuser. Does that sound like positive character growth to you? 

Lastly, the discs. We know theyre a comfort item blahblahblah. He hates himself for valuing them more than he values Tubbo. He's literally innocent in this. He’s been horribly manipulated by Dream to believe that the discs are worth anything. Theyre really not worth anything if they are being used as tools rather than, yknow, discs. My poor boy. He doesnt trust people, so what can he trust? The discs. But then he says it out loud and realises he misses Tubbo and he wants to be with his best friend again and and and WAHHHH. This also isnt really character growth its just fucking sad leave me alone. 

Anyways what the fuck guys. @ Niki and Jack what the fuck. Yeah we get it it’s miscommunication but wtf. Kinda worried that the actual lore will make Niki and Jack’s hatred of Tommy justified in some way and take on a big victim-blamey vibe, but I’m hoping that everyone is smart enough to not do that. I cannot praise Tommy enough for how he’s portrayed his character. I’m currently hoping that he himself understands the true complexity of it all. I’m sure he does.

Mostly though im actually pissed off at all the people praising tommy's character for 'maturing' when hes literally just got trauma. Nice one, tumblr and twt users. Thanks. Great job. He hasnt 'learnt his lesson', he’s traumatised. What the fuck.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, leave your responses in the reblogs and comments.

#dreamsmp #dream smp #character analysis #dreamsmp analysis #analysis #critical #tommyinnit #tubbo #dream #technoblade #wilbur soot #tw trauma #tw abuse #tw gaslighting #tw manipulation

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on Gallavich Hall of Shame

Wow okay this is the latest I’ve ever posted a weekly recap and I feel awful about it but mom life amirite? I’ve seen a lot of negative posts about this episode( maybe I just follow the wrong people) so ngl I’m kinda worried about watching it. Ugh. This is why I try to not look up things until I’ve had a chance to recap because I hate being influenced by other people’s opinions BUT I’m gonna try my best to find the positive things in the episode and keep this light hearted and fun like I’ve been trying to do all season! Okay I’ll shut up now and get right into why you’re really reading this post:

Oh baby Gallavich :(((((

THEY WERE SO LITTLE

Bitch don’t even say the word divorce

They’re sitting side by side playing a game together 😭😭😭😭

Mickey loves blowing ian pass it on

Oh fuck I forgot that belt move ian did 🤤🤤🤤

Nob job lmao

MID GOBBLE

ugh Ned was the most disgusting piece of shit

Who are those two exes wtf

I don’t know their names but I forgot I never watched any episode Mickey wasn’t in lmao

WAIT A WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK

Wow Mickey Milkovich really deserves so much better

Compilation of Mickey saying fuck THANK YOU

Omfg s4 Mickey was actually perfect

“Course you will. That’s your whole fucking MO” oh shit..

Wow remembering the past is really making me hate ian again lmao

Just when I started loving him for once

But then I remember how much he’s grown and I love him again

Fuck the writers tho

Let me write Gallavich please I’d do a much better job

Okay y’all really made it seem like Mickey was super offensive with his bipolar comment

I’m bipolar and hate when people use the term lightly but cmon guys that was nothing

He even called it a bipolar episode. He didn’t say anything offensive at all omfg. I was over here thinking he called him a psycho or something.

Some of y’all just gotta stop watching and stick to fanfics or something.

“I wish I never met you.” “Me either” THEN THEIR FUCKING WEDDING FUCK YALL NOW IM IN MY FEELS 😭😭

They’ve been through so much wow

Okay I need to see Mickey wearing a fanny pack

THE RING AND THE FLASHBACK STOP

GIVE MICKEY AND IAN A BABY

Fuck I need to rewatch the wedding

“Stupid gallagher” same

Mickey giving the Fanny pack back my boy is such a Good Samaritan wow I raised you so well I’m so proud my perfect son

SHIT I JUST REALIZED WHAT SONG IS PLAYING FUCK THIS YALL IM OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh gosh I thought we were done seeing ian Gallagher’s dance moves

Why would they put us through that again

“Stupid Milkovich” you watch your mouth

But we love when a man learns from his mistakes

Now kiss

Mickey is beautiful damn ian is so lucky

Now this is the type of flashback I like to see

MICKEY SAYING HES SENSITIVE DO YALL REALIZE HOW BIG THAT IS?!

Ugh I love him so much

I’m so proud to be his mom

Okay unpopular opinion but I actually love that little how’d your bipolar tirade go how’d your stealing shit go

If you’ve been with someone through their rock bottoms you’ll understand how not offensive at all that interaction was

They both said things they felt bad about saying and now they’re having a bit of banter about it

“We work well together”

GUYES THEYRE ACTUALLY TALKING THINGS OUT THIS IS HUGE

They needed space after feelings got hurt but now they’re coming together to make up and actually talk things over

They’re learning and growing apart AND together

They both had the horrible childhoods and they’re doing their best

It takes years and years of therapy to work through deep rooted issues like that. I’m STILL seeing a therapist twice a week and I still have issues.

Just imagine. They’re how old? Mid to late twenties and neither of them have properly dealt with their issues and mental health problems. You can’t expect them to be the perfect couple you read about in fanfics. Yeah shameless is over the top but it’s a tv show that has stayed on the air for 11 seasons BECAUSE of how over the top it is. Stop expecting these characters to be healed healthy woke changed characters from one season to the next when they haven’t even properly dealt with their issues and it would honestly be very ooc if they did deal with their issues in a healthy way

I wish they would but that’s not the shameless way.

Well that was a long rant but honestly it was needed

Ugh I hate reliving terry this is the worst my heart is breaking

I skipped fast

Terry is definitely worse but yeah they’re both pieces of shit

Shit I forgot how abusive frank was

They both deserve so much better

They’re so cute oh gosh

We love communication

Okay but fr taking a bath with your SO isn’t as romantic as people think or maybe I’m just not a romantic lmao

Unless it’s a big bathtub with leg room

Mickey has the best lines

He’s so funny 😭😭😭

Mickey loves being manhandled✨✨✨✨

Honestly? I really think they would be really into some safe consensual bdsm play and they deserve to have that

PICK HIM UP IAN PLEASE ITS WHAT HE WANTS

fucking love you

I love you too

MUTUAL I LOVE YOUS ARE MY FAVORITE THING

IAN LOVES TO DO THE THUMB THING I CANT

HE DID IT EIGHT TIMES IN THREE SECONDS I COUNTED

they’re so perfect for each other :(((

A kissing compilation 😭😭

THE S7 VAN KISS HAS MY HEART

I still want a scene of Mickey making fun of Ian’s black hair

THE WEDDING 😭😭😭

I’m in tears again

THE KEY CHANGE WITH IAN SAYS MICKEY STILL GETS ME 😭😭😭😭

“Now?” HOW DOES ONE WORD GET SUCH A BIG REACTION FROM ME

I deserved to be at that wedding 😭😭😭

“But not these newlyweds” damn right

THE BLOOPERS

I love them so much

I LOVE SEEING NOEL AND CAM AT WORK

What a treat

SWEET LOVING MOUTH

THE THUMB THING AGAIN

JUST FOR ME

I MISS SEASONN FOUR MICKEY I WANNA GO WATCH HIM NOW

I love Mickey more than anything 😭😭

Okay that was so much better than I was expecting! I know I ranted a lot and I’m probably gonna get some angry comments and messages but I honestly don’t care. Have your opinion and I’ll have my own and if you wanna discuss things like adults I’ll reply but if not then I don’t have time for the negativity. My boys actually communicated and didn’t self sabotage for once and I’m so proud. I love not being as invested as I used to be because now I can actually enjoy their scenes! Anyway it’s late where I’m at and I haven’t been getting much sleep so I’m gonna stop rambling. Let me know what you thought of this episode! Oh and real quick! I noticed I got a flood of new followers in the past two weeks so i just wanted to say feel free to send me messages on and off anon! I like talking to y’all! I promise I’m nice lol! Okay bye I love Mickey so much!

#weekly recap #shameless final season #shameless s11 #hall of shame #shameless hall of shame #Gallavich hall of shame #mickey milkovich #gallavich #shameless #ian gallagher #noel fisher #shameless us #cameron monaghan #my tiniest son #mickey gallagher #Mickey and Ian #ian and mickey #ian x mickey #mickey x ian #uncle mickey

[youthofpandas]

ask game. the man from dc comics you like. he is so sad. is he a robin. ummmmmm. uhhhh. jake. drake. jason todd. i got it :) love u xoxo

KFSKJHFJKHSD SO TRUE JAKE IS MY FAV ROBIN

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual ! cant spell roBIn without bi

Gender Headcanon: i havent rly thought about his gender much tbh ??? all jasons are good jasons <3

A ship I have with said character: think him and roy have had some good moments i just wish the writer was... good...... during the era where theyre on a team together........ (for all of my not comics ppl he like sexually harassed women and also could not write women and the characterizations for jason and roy werent great and also again he was a massive creep and a disgusting person)

A BROTP I have with said character: jason being bros with any of the batgirls :( please dc.... by all logic him and cass should hate each other bc of their morals on killing people which is a pretty big deal breaker but i dont give a fuck. also steph is like my fav so i want them to interact more

A NOTP I have with said character: can the fandom stop shipping him with his brothers <3 can some of the writers stop shipping him with his brothers i dont care that they dont put it in canon i dont want them writing at all <3 ALSO @ canon no actually i do not want to see him fuck his older brothers long term on again off again girlfriend. stop that. jason/babs is a plague on humanity

A random headcanon: jason loves soup. okay anyways that but also i think often about the jason and dick skiing trip they went on before jason died and i think that jason present day would snowboard and be stupid good at it (can you tell i have watched sk8 twice now)

General Opinion over said character: i know almost all characters in comics you gotta.... ignore some stuff and pretend its not canon and decide x run or y run is or isnt properly canon but jason is such a weird weird case of. god only knows what you can take and leave because a lot of it is such. bad characterization. at least urban legends got my back ! no but really hes such an interesting character and i think that hes gotten some good stuff and then they keep cycling him through the exact same arcs over and over again.

#kris answers

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

#irvingintro #violence tw #(more of a brief mention) #bt still #jst reposting bc its been so long JFGDHFDSGSLFKG

[tigerdrop]

O_O okay wowy well. sure. full disclosure this feels like one of the more embarrassing things ive ever written b/c there is literally no connection to canon and its just, “well, hes a vampire now, b/c i said so and i think it would be hot”. it is not usually what i do so. heres some shit i typed in a feverish haze and woke up with no recollection of

okay listen. okay. listen. vampire. you know whats great and what i always think about with vampires and always fucking end up writing, okay. negotiated blood exchange

literally nothing is hotter on earth than willingly agreeing to let a vampire suck your blood from your wrist at regular intervals and then deviating from the negotiated terms. sorry this is insanely specific but its my fucking thing Okay

i literally cannot explain why this intensely specific thing is my specific thing but. look. okay. envision if u will, gordon freeman getting the stupidest brain worm in his head and noticing that when benrey sucks blood from other things/people, he always goes for the neck like a normal vampire would. but between the two of them he goes for the wrist b/c thats what gordon agreed to (b/c hes a human who was deeply weirded out by the whole fucking idea, but benrey needs blood, and its better to let him take some from him every once in awhile than having him go out and hunt down god knows what)

and hes like "huh. what if it tastes different when it comes from the neck." and he starts pushing benrey about it and questioning him. like a fucking idiot. a moron

like "okay man but what if you just tried it. just once is fine. i dont care. i just wanna find out" b/c hes a scientist and a researcher at heart but hes also so fucking stupid

and benreys like weirdly reluctant about it (b/c, like, gordon puts on a lot of airs about not fucking liking him and getting all up in a dudes neck zone is scarily intimate but its not like its that weird if hes doing it to a stranger or some livestock animal thats not even gonna be alive to remember it, right) and you know it turns out that that was probably wise b/c as soon as he gets up close to gordons neck he can sense his heart beating faster and the blood pumping harder and, oh, thats why benrey wasnt doing it that way, b/c when those fangs get into his neck gordon lets out a truly embarrassing sound b/c it hurts and it burns like hell but it gets him so hot its like hes been hit by lightning. and his hands instinctually scrabble at benreys shoulders

and like look one of my favorite things on earth is the "incredibly sexually charged" scene followed by both of them realizing "wait what the fuck" and having to stop what theyre doing Right The Fuck Now and then mulling over it/dreaming about it/jerking off about it/whatever and i just want gordon to be plagued and haunted by gay thoughts about okay what if they did it again

[thinks very fcking hard about gordon jerking off about it and at least a dozen times he thinks god dammit why the Fuck am i thinking about this fuck fuck stupid idiot ass as he tries and succeeds in thinking about something else for maybe like 5 seconds before coming back to the feeling that jolted through him when he got bit every time]

YOU GET IT. "gordon freeman having a gay realization and then furiously jerking off about it and hating himself for it after" is my favorite thing on earth 

leans in close to look at the marks in the mirror later and runs his fingers over them and he gets that Jolt in his stomach and he fucking drops his toothbrush on the floor

just. dreaming about it. every fucking night hes plagued by dreams of benrey doing it again, but this time hes crawling closer, a hand at gordons neck, and hes making a low sound while he sucks gordons blood like his life depends on it (well, it does, but you know what i mean) and once hes done he pulls back to drag his tongue up gordons neck and get that last bit of blood that drips down it and gordon tugs him closer and makes that goddamn embarrassing sound again and then he wakes up with the worst boner hes ever had and he jerks off thinking about benrey biting his thighs like that, too 

me: hmmm yes i am a bottom benrey truther also me: god but what if benrey made him a babbling, shuddering mess and bit that neurotic little fucker bloody and railed him within an inch of his life. what if

gordon neck bruising up a little a day or so later and. looking at himself in the mirror and wondering what it would be like if he was just. covered in em. getting bowled over and lightheaded from just how fast all the blood in his body goes to his dick at the thought of being marked. gordon freeman passes out in the bathroom from being too horny. gordon freeman forgot how sensitive his neck was because no ones touched him there in years

literally every other time they had done this he was completely normal about it and the bruises on his wrist were just, like, an annoying formality, but now that door has been unlocked bro. hes done like dinner

and then on the flip side u have benrey absolutely beating the shit out of his meat b/c gordons never, ever let him that close before and that sound he made is burned into his brain and also, you know, gordon did have a point. it did taste different

just honestly what is better than two dudes who absolutely want to bang each other furiously jerking off alone while theyre convinced the other guy would be disgusted if he knew 

and benreys thoughts turn toward shit like......what if it tastes different everywhere. what if its different when its beading up from his stomach, where the flesh is a little softer. what if its different when he sinks his teeth into the meat of gordons inner thighs. and what if gordon sounds different everywhere he bites, too

like. sensitive thighs. the tease of being close to his dick but not there

doing that shit while hes just in boxer briefs (or like short-shorts if you wanna get real slutty about it idk) and gordons so fucking hard and its so fucking obvious how hes tenting his boxers and hes got his fingers tangled in benreys hair while hes biting his thighs (you know. as an experiment. for science. hah ha. ha) and hes so close to gordons dick but benreys not doing anything about it. and its not like he can just fucking ask.......its like the weirdest game of gay chicken hes ever played

gordon freeman absolutely fucking wrecked and red in the face and sweating and panting like hes ran a fucking marathon and this bitch has the nerve to pretend like hes not having a homosexual revelation

Anyway. My final message. Goodbye

#writin stuff #i guess #asky #dont fucking look at me i just have some weird fixations

[gayspock]

obligatory tng update:

1. unfortunately still going slow. im not sure if its wholly bc of my irl shite getting in the way (very likely) but despite the episodes being GOOD now, like fully good, i still dont feel the same draw as i did with tos which is :(. but the eps ARE getting GOOD!!! like babey thnk u mwah. there’s been some bangers in a row ya kno

2. ok minor minor minor. idk im so... neutral abt troi/riker as an item right now!! i htink i could warm up but its also like. thus far theyve just... like i feel like theyve not given any actual moments between them. do yoou know what i mean, girlie. like i swear i rarely ever see them interact and i genuinely thought it was gonna be, like, a thing they brought up in the pilot then literally just FORGET abt bc like... theyve just literally been all tell and no show. like theyre like “oh they were a thing and theres still sth there” but then havent rlly... like they havent actually done tht much together? do u kno wht it means? like its just like the show has told us they have chemistry without really letting them demonstrate... anyways.  and idk i dont have a PROBLEM with that, actually. like im fine with that, bc its been super unobtrusive ya kno- and what i actually wanted to say is that!!! im rlly GOOD with it in a way.

like im neutral on them as a Couple and whatnot (also in part bc i do LIKE riker&troi, i do, but im not obsessed with them yet)  but omg idk... its like i said its been pretty unobtrusive does tht make sense. usually tht shit is crammed down ur throat in some manner, like- even if its just in terms of jealousy or whatveer but... on MULTIPLE occasions, it feels like, both troi and riker have like shown interest in the New Character of the Week. and i realised it with uhhhh the ep (runs to check) THE VENGEANCE FACTOR. bc its like him and troi were sat there eating together and the girlie of the week came over and she, like, got up and was like :3 i’ll leave you to it- AND I DONT KNOW? I KNOW THIS IS LIKE. BARE MINIMUM BUT ITS JSUT... REALLY NICE TO SEE CHARACTERS WHO ARE, LIKE, OPENLY KINDA INTERESTED IN EACH OTHER BUT ARENT, LIKE, A THING-THING  AND YET THEY WONT BE LIKE. RANCID IF THE OTHER PERSON IS SHOWING INTEREST IN OTHER PPL. DOES THT MAKE SENSE. like theyre chill and calm and like i said. i do think i could warm up to them if i got to see more of them.... I FEEL SO WEIRD im stillnot sure how i feel abt EITHER of them and im unsure why . i really am. like i feel like ah i like you guyss! but thts abt it. i think i still need to see more. anyways

3. also bc it comes up sometimes similar talk i think i wanna talk about Wesley . get him off my chest. i dont hate wesley. im the epitome of neutral on wesley as well. but like if you took s1 wesley and put him into s3 i’d be in a fucking rage. like i think the thing is, s1 wesley fucking sucks but also its like... in general  all the writing in s1 was fuckign bad and frankly he just ended up turning out very annoying becuase of it but ultimately . do u kno wht i mean. like its just s1 antics. wesley, now, in s3 is still not like a big fave but bc the writing is better i’m like okay! youre here! BUT if they wrote an ep with him in the same way they used him in s1 THEN i’d be mad. anyways.

4. I HAD MORE THOUGHTS BUT THIS ISNT EVEN TNG I WENT TO LOOK UP STAR TREK EPISODES AND FOR SOME REASON I WA SLOOKING AT RELEASE DATES AND I WAS LIKE OH OH OH AND THEN I ENDED UP LOOKING AT TOS AND REQUIEUM FO METHUSUSAL I CANT SPELL IM SO SORRY BUT THAT EP WAS RELEASED ON VALENTINES DAY AND IM THINKING ABOUT SPOCK AND THAT MEMORY WIPE HAPPY VALENTINS DAY GIRLS JESUS WHERE WAS I

5. god i love data and geordi so much though i feel bad but i jsut... OKAY MAYBE THATS IT. WITH TROI AND RIKER. I FEEL BAD LIKE I DONT HATE THEM IM JUST MORESO NEUTRAL BC I JSUT... I JUST WANT TO SEE DATA, GEORDI AND WORF SOOOO MUCH AHHHHHHH LIKE GIVE ME YM LEGENDS. NONSTOP.

#egg.txt #star trek liveblog #anyways

[irkenheretic]

Does Red have that one genetic disorder? What does it do to Irkens who do have it?

OOOHHH OKAY SO this is all gonna be headcanon stuff for ANX (watch me forget to tag the post as such lmao) so itll be canon divergent at points

so The Red Eye Thing, which has no formal name because why would irkens name it, is a linked gene between the gene that causes red eyes, and a genetic disorder that leaves an irken with a little extra chunk of chromosome in a sex cell that made them. (a sex cell is like, either the sperm or the egg, one of those) not an entire extra chromosome, that doesn’t happen among irkens, but a chunk.

you can’t have red eyes without having The Red Eye Thing, so yes red does have it! ^^

i just have to go on record and say that in ANX, irkens still reproduce naturally. they dont mate for fun or keep the young, but its still not artificial. smeets are also VERY IMPORTANT in irken society as they are seen as the future of the empire (like, assaulting a smeet is so universally hated that if someone is jailed for it they will 100% be killed before they ever stand trial. smeet assaulters are so hated that the control brains know this happens and they just let it happen)

so given how societally important smeets are, it tends to be Very Bad for Red Eyes that the main problem their genetic disorder gives them is infertility. theyre basically looked down upon societally because they’re unable to do a basic biological function that even smallers and defectives can do. 

i mentioned they also have hyperpigmented skin in my other ask, but im putting it here again anyway. skin colors from that hyperpigmentation can range from “dark, but still normal irken dark” to “i have never seen a skin color as dark as yours before holy fuck” these edits i did of red are what he looks like in ANX, and hes on the way far end of the spectrum- out of 100+ characters in ANX, some other Red Eyes, he’s the darkest one. the hyperpigmentation is a result of the extra chunk of chromosome lmao

also, Red Eyes have trouble detecting pheromones other irkens give off. this can be just dulled senses, or it can be a total lack of detection, like what Red has. (ur seeing a pattern arent u, red has a more “severe” case of his genetic disorder.)

the gene also causes developmental disorders which... aren’t exactly on a sliding scale per se? it’s kind of like autism where every Red Eye acts differently from each other that there’s no real “universal experience” for how this specific thing presents itself.

the red eye gene is passed on from parent to child, it won’t mutate and it can’t be carried- you either have it or you don’t. 

“but how can that be if they’re infertile!” i said infertile, not sterile. the reason Red Eyes are infertile is because, since the extra chromosome chunk was in a sex cell, at least 50% of their sex cells will be affected with the extra chunk, too. irkens have a biomechanism that purges cells with missing or extra chromosome parts (extra-chromosome irkens are relatively fine, missing-chromosome irkens are like, hatched with no brain or are stillhatches so good that thats... there) 

but since those cells are purged, that’s at least half of the fertile cells. of course if they have a more severe case, like red, it would be more than half. so it is moderatley hard to nigh impossible for Red Eyes to conceive or fertilize, depending on who it is. so since only Red Eyes can pass down The Red Eye Gene, and these bitches rarely have smeets, there’s only like.... one Red Eye per generation, maybe two.

(fun facts: there used to be more Red Eye family lines, but some idiot got it in his head that Red Eyes caused defectiveness and that most defect trials were a false positive so in order to save everyone he needed to kill all Red Eyes, so now there.... aren’t..... any more......) (yes the control brains crazy murdered that idiot. they hate him so much sometimes they go “hey remember the red eye genocide guy? what the fuck, right?”)

so tl;dnr: it’s a genetic disorder caused by an extra chunk of chromosome in either a sperm or egg that made the irken. it causes infertility, hyperpigmentation, low or no ability to detect irken pheromones, and a developmental disorder that presents differently in everyone that has it.

tl;dnr 2: irken down’s syndrome. 

under the cut im gonna go on about how society sees irkens with this condition (under the cut because.... sexual assault tw. also ableism tw)

Red Eyes are seen as... well... broken pieces of shit. before red was tallest, there WAS another Red Eye Tallest in recent history- tallest Zim. (NO RELATION to invader zim haha) zim becoming tallest made Red Eyes not be.... as hated, but there’s still this societal idea of “you are a broken piece of shit and your cells should have been purged.... buuuut if you do something above and beyond whatever it is your job is, we Might think you’re cool. also we probably won’t say this to your face but we’re thinking it really hard at you, and you KNOW we’re thinking it, so there’s no point in not saying it, but we still won’t so you cant claim we hate you. but make no mistake, we do.” so red just had, the BEST time growing up.

remember in my last ask, i said Red Eyes are liked a little too well sometimes? well... due to their infertility, they’re frequent targets for rape, especially in the military, since military irkens aren’t allowed to mate. nab a Red Eye and you can have all the fuck you want without any, er, evidence. red honestly was lucky he was constantly stickied to purple as an elite, otherwise Horrible Things could’ve happened.

was the general populace worried about a Red Eye tallest? yes. yes they were, back when it was tallest zim. they thought he’d be shit at it due to how “broken” he was. there was a LOT of public outcry, especially since zim was on the shorter side of tallests. they were ready to be all “see, Red Eyes are NOTHING,” until zim was actually an amazing tallest. he was so good the control brains liked him, and the only other modern tallest they actually liked was miyuki. he did great things for the empire, everyone loved him. when tallest red became tallest, everyone was much less worried. but they were still thinkin it, ya dig. 

is red related to tallest zim? yes, zim is red’s grandfather.

is red’s tendency to forget words a part of his developmental disorder? it could be, could not be. there’s not much of a sample size due to yknow, the genocide, so there’s no-one to compare his symptoms against. the disorder presents differently in everyone so even if red is the only living Red Eye with that symptom, doesnt mean its NOT a symptom ya dig? but im gonna word of god it and say yes it is

can you have the same chromosome thing without being a Red Eye? yes! in this ask i talk about spork having a learning disability- he has the same chromosome thing, it just gives him different symptoms because he doesnt have the specific instance that red eyes have.

can you have red eyes without the chromosome thing? no, the gene for red-colored eyes is stickied to the Extra Chunk gene, and unlike chromosome issues, which can happen to any irken, an irken will not randomly mutate a gene for red-colored eyes.

is the term “red eye” derogatory? it was EXTREMELY derogatory before tallest zim took power. now it’s just a general term for a red eyed irken, but... irkens will still use it in an insulting way. like... “queer” is the best parallel i can draw. used to be a slur, now is a general term, but some people still clearly use it as a slur against others. 

are red eyes called slurs? YES. they are targets for The Word. The Worst Word In The Irken Language, So Bad You Can’t Even Call It “The __ Word” Because It’s Too Close To Saying The Word. It Is Just, “The Word.” it used to be WAY worse before the genocide, simply because there were more of them. it decreased even more after tallest zim took power, but make no mistake, it’s still out there. also The Word translates out to “condemned obsolete bastard” with a side order of “the beginning of The Word sounds like im spitting on you and thats also exactly what it means.” its an awful slur its like if every human slur had an orgy

(was red called slurs growing up- YES.)

are Red Eyes defective? they can be! defectiveness is in the PAK, not in an irken’s biology. that’s why they’re called genetic disorders and not genetic defects, to separate them from the “we are going to execute you” defectiveness. they’re still scorned as if they are defective, though. sometimes theyre called “worse than defectives” as a jab at their infertility- like, even the empire’s worst can do that, ya dig? 

back in The Old Days, there was probably a mix of defective and non-defective Red Eyes. now they’re all defective by coincidence. 

#anarchisma au #I REMEMBERED FUCK YEAH #rape m #ableism tw #live from conventia #i hope u like it!!

[noorengels]

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher  bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk 

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes! 

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

#my manifesto #sua: extreme #venting #xoxo #no ones had more friendship drama than me i refuse to believe it #this is 1526 words long #shut up ali

[howlitecritical]

New character arcs and new back story because canon sucks again

Main 4 cast with notes on characters that need notes for changes to make sense  Garnet: yesyesyesyesyeysyes everything good about this show. There’s not enough garnet centric things where she’s just herself and not about ruby and sapphire. More information on Garnet. Shes stoicly funny and just murders people with words sometimes. show her being rose’s top tactician. turning the tides of the war that were never in the crystal gem’s favor. maybe theres a fun earth thing shes into. Her room is the heart of the temple for a reason now. Its a balance between pearl and amethyst. The bubbles are organized, but she has her own side space with things she does as hobbies. She has a collection of antique books that she likes to read lava side and she often meditates to see corrupted gems and a future in which the CGs encounter them. maybe she even draws them out to combine ruby’s need to Do with sapphire's need to Know. Fusion is still very important to her, but not she has plot relevant interests that make sense with her character. Her character arc involves her being the first of her kind. shes something completely new! just like steven is. and for that not to bind them together is silly. She wants the best for steven and he makes her want to be an even better leader now that rose is gone and shes the only one left. she makes him think about his actions and slows down his hyper activity when he or amethyst are trying to do something reckless. From him she learns that it’s okay to let her guard down more. Homeworld might come back, but it’s not all on her shoulders. the CGs are a family and they’ll protect everyone together. Garnet in jailbreak is the first time we know shes a fusion and before that we get more about her character not just from environment around her, but her reactions to things. Maybe she feels like she needs to be in control because shes afraid that without rose, homeworld is more a danger than ever.

Amethyst: I like most of her progression actually!!! a few things I’d mess with is when she’s unnecessary hurtful to people she loves, like greg, when she shape shifted into rose, and peridot when she all but threw her stuff into the ocean. these things need to be gotten rid of, or addressed by the narrative. I’d also like to see her hanging around Vidalia wayyyyy sooner or to have a reason why they dont. As for reasons, maybe Amethyst did or said something hurtful toward her, lashing out at her for whatever reason that made their friendship strained. while a decade is a long time for a human, for a gem its nothing. so while she feels bad, Am’ isnt going to apologize herself!!! she didnt do anything wrong!!! and maybe Vidalia is the first person steven convinces her to apologize to. Steven teaches her compassion and is, in return, the gem he can relate to the best. He goes to her first with gem issues and she acts like an older sibling, trying to teach him or cover up mistakes so pearl and garnet dont find out. I think i’d like a progression of Am’ refusing to apologize to Vidalia, realizing that she was wrong and apologizing to greg, but he breaks down and can’t move past that, rendering their friendship difficult and strained as a “sometimes apologizing isnt enough and you have to change your behavior“ and then the third beat with peridot either not happening at all, where she doesnt throw someone’s comfort items into the ocean which, i think steven shouldve realized and stopped her from doing anyway, BUT if you just NEED that mistake on her part, i feel like this could be a “sometimes, you dont know how bad you hurt someone and you should apologize when you find out“ with peridot being hurt and not talking to her and amethyst has to do a big gesture to show shes sorry. I also feel like that fleshes out amedot as a ship and while i dont care about who peridot ends up with, i care about story and the way im going to make this story go, lapis will be in that fun moral grey area and i want more options in terms of story telling and of fan choice. Also!!! explore the possibility of her being deep cut and thats why shes a runt. she only looks smaller but has all these strengths because of it!!! it fits in really well and bismuth or peridot maybe because she was made for kindergardening, could tell her about it and watch her get excited because shes not ”wrong“ she never came out “wrong“ shes just different and thats okay!

Pearl: Was white diamond’s pearl, first of all! that makes every interaction more interesting, because no only did she defect from homeworld, but she defected from the Queen of homeworld and everything it stood for basically. We learn more about how homeworld operates and what places in society each gem fits from pearl, because while she doesn’t believe it herself, she isn’t kept from talking about diamonds now and what one she served. in this funky fresh au, she is sent by white to make sure the new diamond they’re cultivating from earth comes out properly (aka where the fuck did russia go) and getting her equipped with all of the technology she would need to properly rule. this is where she first meets a quartz soldier. at first she’s taken aback by the quartz’s forwardness, no one had ever talked to her like... an equal before. shes not sure if shes allowed to speak, though, she knows theyre waiting for a response. Their first interactions always begin with her requesting permission to speak. They have to wait a few more years for pink to emerge and while they’re there they slowly become friends as the life is leeched out of the area. we could have a snapshots of them waiting for together, rose getting bored and convincing pearl to come do things with her, slowly breaking her out of her shell. Pearl’s difficulty and character arc comes from not just rose and getting over her feelings, which is perfectly fine, but doesnt need to be her only trait, but finding out who she is now, not just after rose, but with humanity as a whole. with the war well and truly over. she wants to learn about what rose thought was so important to fight for, to die for, and because of that, we get her partaking in human activities that arent eating or drinking, because she still dislikes them. While Garnet reads and collects books, i think pearl being really into her weapons collection is a good idea to flesh her out more. Where did she get her swords from? Well thats a mystery. She mentions someone she cared about a long time ago made them for her and thus we get some fun bismuth foreshadowing.

Rose:  And rose..... god... we could of had it all by adele plays in the background anytime i think about her. Here we have a very beautiful fat woman. Shes framed as elegant and regal by the show time and time again and i LOVED that. however after the pink diamond reveal, I have such mixed feelings about her. No more diamond bullshit. Shes the first gem that popped out. Technically she’s too early and she goes to stand guard around the birthplace of her diamond. That is where she and pearl first meet. Pearl is the first gem she ever talks to and while she innately knows stuff about home world, shes pick up a lot from the humans that live nearby. theyve shown her kindness and given her furs to wear and in turn she helped them heal their wounded by crying on them. (yes she still has healing powers sue me) she loves the humans and takes to befriending them before pearl shows up. The two of them get close and after pink diamond pops out, rose realizes what the creation of gems truly means for the world around her. They’re killing what was here before them. This isn’t creation. It’s an invasion. Being the only quartz out so far, shes forced into the role of commander for pink. Her favored soldier. And the more she does what she was “made for” the more she hates it and the more she hates the diamond authority. she convinces pink that some humans are worth keeping. As a curiosity, my diamond. they could prove useful to terraforming other planets or moons to accept life and in time, gem cultivation.  She gets poofed while trying to save someone from the group of people she first made friends with. Maybe pink shatters whoever poofed her for not following her orders because of course Rose wouldnt defy her. rose is Loyal, unlike the rest of you lack luster garbage. Rose comes back with her iconic dress and shes here and queer and shes fucking Done with this shit. she hears about the shattering on her behalf and she goes to pink and asks why and she feels sick to her stomach because star, my diamond, she isnt Worth it. she isnt worth the cost of someone else’s whole Life!!! Oh rose... you’ve always been soft hearted. in this time, Pearl is quietly there. waiting to be called back by white as pink pearl has just been sent to take her place. And this is it. This is the moment rose decides to rebel. according to homeworld, her life should be no more than any other quartz. her life shouldnt be traded for that of others. So why? Why did pink do this? Do the gems in her court mean nothing to her? This is the first time a gem has ever summoned two weapons. A Sword and Shield. A knight turning on her master. She tried to attack pink. to poof her. to send a message right here and now that gems are all equal. that a lowly rose quartz is strong enough to take on a diamond! She fails, but only partly. she manages to strike a blow, but pink stays in tact long enough to strike on of her own, sending rose retreating into her gem. This is when pearl has to make a choice. No matter what she’d be shattered. Pink’s wrath when she reforms, white’s when she finds out about what happened. This is a death sentence. But if its a death sentence, its one she’ll choose for herself. she takes rose’s shield and uses the face of it to shatter pink herself, scooping up rose’s gem and getting as far away as fast as she can. This is the start of a war.

Steven: Oh boi. So i love steven, but theres moments where hes just... not good and the story doesnt stop him from doing that. So if were gonna say hes a kid with emotion based powers, we know hes soft and sweet and excitable. sometimes he pushes people too far because hes trying to do what he thinks is best. I want him to wrestle with the fact that his mom, this person everyone says is good, killed someone. she did something so horrible and she never killed anyone again, but she still did it once. I’d like him to get bits and pieces of his mothers memories and so we get to see the world and flashback things that happened in real time. Maybe he tries to talk to pearl about it, but she still wont instead of cant. He feels like an outcast and everyone would rather his mom be there, but they have him instead. basically a lot of his earlier character arc stuff before garnet and pearl talk to him about how homeworld was. They dont think hes old enough to hear about war, but it seems war is coming back and hes unprepared to face it without learning more. he facilitates more interactions with the townies and now its not just a war of gems against gems, they have humans on their side too and they’ll win!  

#su criticism #su rewrite #su #su critique #su critical #steven universe #i hate the pink diamond reveal so im just Salty #cw long post

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Sickness

(Story Post)

A morning came one day where Nathan just couldn’t get out of bed. He called his doctor hoping he’d come for a house call and thankfully Reid had a little bit of time. When he arrived at Nathan’s home, he let himself in with the key Nathan had told him was under his flower pot. He headed upstairs to find his favourite wolf-man curled up in a cocoon again. “Oh dear, what’s the matter today?” Reid asked. “You can’t get out of bed?” Nathan rolled over to face him and frowned. “They’re moving…”

Reid blinked, his eyes lighting up. “Really? Well, that’s a very good sign, Nathan.” “I hate it… They’re making me nauseous,” Nathan said. “I don’t know what to do… I think I’ll puke if I get up…” Reid sighed sympathetically. “Unfortunately, getting up is the most common cure. When you lie down, babies love to go nuts in there, but when you stand, they typically calm down.” “If I stand, I’ll puke.” “You probably won’t but I can get you a trash can or something,” Reid said. “Is there one in your bathroom?” “Should be…” Reid went and got the bin and brought it back. “Take this and get yourself up. Come on.” Nathan wrapped the blankets around himself and tucked it so it wouldn’t come off then took the trash can in one hand and let Reid pull him up with his other hand. When he was upright, he did still feel queasy, but the twins settled down after a few seconds alongside the nausea. “I’m not gonna puke,” Nathan said. “Aye. So is that all I drove out here for?” Reid asked. “Well… No…” Nathan said, looking down. “There’s something else…” “And what’s that, laddie?” Reid asked, patting Nathan’s arm. “I… Um, it’s really embarrassing…” Nathan said. “I guess, it’s uh… Ah, fuck it…” He undid the blanket, displaying the two big wet marks in his pyjama shirt. Reid put his hands on his hips. “Well, well. Your milks come in.” “But why?” Nathan asked. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re pregnant.” “But I don’t have tits!” Nathan said. “You don’t need prominent breasts to start lactating, just the right plumbing which everyone has—unless removed—and the right hormone cocktail,” Reid explained. “This was to be expected.” “Then why didn’t you tell me this would happen?” “I forgot but also I expected you to consider it before,” Reid said. “But it’s nothing to fret about. Let me take a look.” Nathan sighed and took off his shirt. He looked away as the doctor examined his chest. “They’ve definitely swollen up,” Reid said. “Are they tender?” “Yeah, really sensitive…” Nathan pouted. “Shirts feel uncomfortable rubbing against them. And I don’t know what to do with all the…all the leakage.” “Say no more. You want nursing pads,” Reid said. “There’s different kinds, but overnight ones and braless ones will likely be best.” Nathan rubbed his eye. “I’ve been to baby stores too much now… I really don’t want to go out like this.” “Laddie. Order them online,” Reid said. “It’s early morning. You could potentially have it all delivered by the end of the day. Also, get yourself a big sports bra. That’ll help a lot.” “A bra? I can’t wear a bra!” Nathan complained. “Yes you can. I believe in you. You’re not the only man who’s ever had to wear a bra. I can guarantee that.” “Oh god, how am I supposed to do all this? It’s so embarrassing and I have to do it alone,” Nathan groaned. Reid rubbed his back. “Tell me what’s on your mind. What’s troubling you most about this?” Nathan sighed deeply and sat down. “I just… Everything I expected when it came to me having kids is thrown out the window…” “What were you expecting?” Reid sat down beside him. “Well, first I thought I’d be adopting… And I thought I’d have job security. And I thought I’d be…well, married. At least, I’d have a partner helping me… Signing the papers with me. Decorating the nursery with me. Picking out clothes. But I’ve done everything alone. And I’m pregnant.” Reid rubbed his chin. “Well, have you thought about dating?” Nathan frowned. “Dating? Seriously? Like this?” He motioned to his torso. “You’d be surprised by the people who could be into that,” Reid insisted. Nathan crinkled his nose. “I don’t want to be someone’s fetish. I want someone who wants the normal me. The not fat and leaking me.” He looked down. “God, if I hadn’t…become what I am now… I’d still be with Hugh. I’d still work at my old school. We were even starting to talk about kids… I ruined everything.” “Well, I’m sorry, but I’ve heard your transformation story many times and it has always sounded like it was Hugh’s fault you were bit in the first place,” Reid said. “He took you off the path. He found the wolf cub. He chose to leave you when you needed him most.” “I tore his leg off!” Nathan growled. “I’d leave any man who tore my leg off too!” “He wouldn’t have had his leg torn off if he didn’t get you bit,” Reid stated. “You understand?” Nathan crossed his arms. “Are you pinning this on Hugh to try and make me feel better? Because it’s not working.” He gagged a little as he felt a movement in his stomach again so he stood up. “God, I want this to end…” “It’ll be over soon,” Reid said. “Rest for today.” “I can't…” Nathan rubbed his eyes. “I’ve missed work way too much… The principal acts nice about it, but I can tell she wants to kill me.” “She doesn’t want to kill you. But you need the rest. I might even say we should start you on bed rest but you’re determined to work.” “I don’t know if you noticed, but children are expensive,” Nathan said. “I can barely afford my own living situation right now. I need to work.” Reid sighed. “After the next wolf cycle, I’m putting you on bed rest. You need it and the twins need it. I can tell just by looking at you, you’re beyond exhausted.” “…Fine. That gives me three weeks,” Nathan huffed. “But that’s still so soon…” “Just keep thinking about how you’ll get to meet your little angels.” Reid placed a hand on the side of Nathan’s stomach. “I think you’ll find it’s all worth it.” Nathan exhaled deeply for a couple seconds then placed his hands on his stomach. In this sitting position, the twins had started acting up again and he could feel them moving. His stomach turned as he felt it, but he just thought about how it was his children and that every little move meant they were alive. While he still felt a little sick from the movement, it warmed his heart a little bit knowing they were safe. “…Doc.” Reid perked up. “Aye?” “I should tell my parents, right?” Reid blinked stared at Nathan. “You haven’t told your parents yet that they’re going to be grandparents?” Nathan shook his head. “…I haven’t talked to them since… Well, since my grandma’s funeral.” “Ah. Fuzzy connection?” Nathan nodded. “Very fuzzy… I came out when I was fifteen and they sent me away to live with my grandma. They thought her ‘traditional ways’ would ‘fix’ me. That backfired pretty quick. My nana was nothing but loving.” He rubbed his belly. “I wish she was here to meet her great grandkids… But I guess, that’s not common anyway…” “Mm… Aye, I wish you coulda been so lucky,” Reid sympathised. “And it’s up to you whether you believe your parents should know and be a part of this journey with you. The last thing you need though is more stress.” “Right…” Nathan sighed and stood back up to relieve the movement. “Can you let Principal Liu know I won’t be coming in today?” “I’ll do that.” Reid checked his watch. “I got to go though. I have an appointment with another patient.” “Alright, go ahead… I’m good I guess,” Nathan decided. “Thanks for coming all the way out here, doc. I guess my issue was pretty dumb…” Reid shook his head. “No, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Do you have any friends or family who can come around and check up on you?” “Um… The only person I can think of would maybe be Nari… But he’d be working, so…” “It might be worth talking to him because it’s always better to have people around if not just for emotional support.” “I guess… But Nari's… Nari can be a little…” “Stubborn and abrasive?” Reid asked. “Yeah, he’s like that. But he means well and I’m sure if he’s paid any attention to you, it means he likes you.” “I mean, I guess… He made us official friends the other day when we, uh…” Nathan scratched the back of his head. “Well, he came over to help with my laundry. Started calling me by my first name.” “Well, then you’re best buds it seems,” Reid chuckled. “Good, it’s important he makes friends too… He avoids it. You know you’re true friends when he carries you over.” “Over what?” Nathan asked. “Over lives. You must’ve heard him talk about his lives,” Reid explained. “Nari creates a new persona every couple decades to avoid people catching on to his immortality. Each new persona is usually accompanied with a big move. His first new persona moved to the UK. Then when she was done, Nari was created and he moved to Canada. What I’d like to see is either an extension in one of his personas, or at least the effort to bring over some people in his life and not just cut everyone off.” “Oh. That seems…” Nathan rubbed his chin. “Dramatic maybe?” “Yes, but you can understand. I only hope to be brought over too… I feel like he should at least consider what APID has to offer him or whoever he’ll be in the long term.” Reid checked his watch again and clenched his teeth. “Christ, I really gotta go, Nathan. But I’ll call in the afternoon, make sure you’re well.” Nathan nodded and pulled a robe on. “…Nursing pads, right?” “Aye. I’ll send you a link to some good ones from the web.” Reid went out to the stairs. “Okay… Bye then.” “Eat something. Bye now.”

#lore #mpreg #Nathan #Reid #werewolf