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mostlysignssomeportents · 8 months

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Podcasting "How To Think About Scraping"

On September 27, I'll be at Chevalier's Books in Los Angeles with Brian Merchant for a joint launch for my new book The Internet Con and his new book, Blood in the Machine. On October 2, I'll be in Boise to host an event with VE Schwab.

This week on my podcast, I read my recent Medium column, "How To Think About Scraping: In privacy and labor fights, copyright is a clumsy tool at best," which proposes ways to retain the benefits of scraping without the privacy and labor harms that sometimes accompany it:

https://doctorow.medium.com/how-to-think-about-scraping-2db6f69a7e3d?sk=4a1d687171de1a3f3751433bffbb5a96

What are those benefits from scraping? Well, take computational linguistics, a relatively new discipline that is producing the first accounts of how informal language works. Historically, linguists overstudied written language (because it was easy to analyze) and underanalyzed speech (because you had to record speakers and then get grad students to transcribe their dialog).

The thing is, very few of us produce formal, written work, whereas we all engage in casual dialog. But then the internet came along, and for the first time, we had a species of mass-scale, informal dialog that also written, and which was born in machine-readable form.

This ushered in a new era in linguistic study, one that is enthusiastically analyzing and codifying the rules of informal speech, the spread of vernacular, and the regional, racial and class markers of different kinds of speech:

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/07/24/because-internet-the-new-linguistics-of-informal-english/

The people whose speech is scraped and analyzed this way are often unreachable (anonymous or pseudonymous) or impractical to reach (because there's millions of them). The linguists who study this speech will go through institutional review board approvals to make sure that as they produce aggregate accounts of speech, they don't compromise the privacy or integrity of their subjects.

Computational linguistics is an unalloyed good, and while the speakers whose words are scraped to produce the raw material that these scholars study, they probably wouldn't object, either.

But what about entities that explicitly object to being scraped? Sometimes, it's good to scrape them, too.

Since 1996, the Internet Archive has scraped every website it could find, storing snapshots of every page it found in a giant, searchable database called the Wayback Machine. Many of us have used the Wayback Machine to retrieve some long-deleted text, sound, image or video from the internet's memory hole.

For the most part, the Internet Archive limits its scraping to websites that permit it. The robots exclusion protocol (AKA robots.txt) makes it easy for webmasters to tell different kinds of crawlers whether or not they are welcome. If your site has a robots.txt file that tells the Archive's crawler to buzz off, it'll go elsewhere.

Mostly.

Since 2017, the Archive has started ignoring robots.txt files for news services; whether or not the news site wants to be crawled, the Archive crawls it and makes copies of the different versions of the articles the site publishes. That's because news sites – even the so-called "paper of record" – have a nasty habit of making sweeping edits to published material without noting it.

I'm not talking about fixing a typo or a formatting error: I'm talking about making a massive change to a piece, one that completely reverses its meaning, and pretending that it was that way all along:

https://medium.com/@brokenravioli/proof-that-the-new-york-times-isn-t-feeling-the-bern-c74e1109cdf6

This happens all the time, with major news sites from all around the world:

http://newsdiffs.org/examples/

By scraping these sites and retaining the different versions of their article, the Archive both detects and prevents journalistic malpractice. This is canonical fair use, the kind of copying that almost always involves overriding the objections of the site's proprietor. Not all adversarial scraping is good, but this sure is.

There's an argument that scraping the news-sites without permission might piss them off, but it doesn't bring them any real harm. But even when scraping harms the scrapee, it is sometimes legitimate – and necessary.

Austrian technologist Mario Zechner used the API from country's super-concentrated grocery giants to prove that they were colluding to rig prices. By assembling a longitudinal data-set, Zechner exposed the raft of dirty tricks the grocers used to rip off the people of Austria.

From shrinkflation to deceptive price-cycling that disguised price hikes as discounts:

https://mastodon.gamedev.place/@badlogic/111071627182734180

Zechner feared publishing his results at first. The companies whose thefts he'd discovered have enormous power and whole kennelsful of vicious attack-lawyers they can sic on him. But he eventually got the Austrian competition bureaucracy interested in his work, and they published a report that validated his claims and praised his work:

https://mastodon.gamedev.place/@badlogic/111071673594791946

Emboldened, Zechner open-sourced his monitoring tool, and attracted developers from other countries. Soon, they were documenting ripoffs in Germany and Slovenia, too:

https://mastodon.gamedev.place/@badlogic/111071485142332765

Zechner's on a roll, but the grocery cartel could shut him down with a keystroke, simply by blocking his API access. If they do, Zechner could switch to scraping their sites – but only if he can be protected from legal liability for nonconsensually scraping commercially sensitive data in a way that undermines the profits of a powerful corporation.

Zechner's work comes at a crucial time, as grocers around the world turn the screws on both their suppliers and their customers, disguising their greedflation as inflation. In Canada, the grocery cartel – led by the guillotine-friendly hereditary grocery monopolilst Galen Weston – pulled the most Les Mis-ass caper imaginable when they illegally conspired to rig the price of bread:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_price-fixing_in_Canada

We should scrape all of these looting bastards, even though it will harm their economic interests. We should scrape them because it will harm their economic interests. Scrape 'em and scrape 'em and scrape 'em.

Now, it's one thing to scrape text for scholarly purposes, or for journalistic accountability, or to uncover criminal corporate conspiracies. But what about scraping to train a Large Language Model?

Yes, there are socially beneficial – even vital – uses for LLMs.

Take HRDAG's work on truth and reconciliation in Colombia. The Human Rights Data Analysis Group is a tiny nonprofit that makes an outsized contribution to human rights, by using statistical methods to reveal the full scope of the human rights crimes that take place in the shadows, from East Timor to Serbia, South Africa to the USA:

https://hrdag.org/

HRDAG's latest project is its most ambitious yet. Working with partner org Dejusticia, they've just released the largest data-set in human rights history:

https://hrdag.org/jep-cev-colombia/

What's in that dataset? It's a merger and analysis of more than 100 databases of killings, child soldier recruitments and other crimes during the Colombian civil war. Using a LLM, HRDAG was able to produce an analysis of each killing in each database, estimating the probability that it appeared in more than one database, and the probability that it was carried out by a right-wing militia, by government forces, or by FARC guerrillas.

This work forms the core of ongoing Colombian Truth and Reconciliation proceedings, and has been instrumental in demonstrating that the majority of war crimes were carried out by right-wing militias who operated with the direction and knowledge of the richest, most powerful people in the country. It also showed that the majority of child soldier recruitment was carried out by these CIA-backed, US-funded militias.

This is important work, and it was carried out at a scale and with a precision that would have been impossible without an LLM. As with all of HRDAG's work, this report and the subsequent testimony draw on cutting-edge statistical techniques and skilled science communication to bring technical rigor to some of the most important justice questions in our world.

LLMs need large bodies of text to train them – text that, inevitably, is scraped. Scraping to produce LLMs isn't intrinsically harmful, and neither are LLMs. Admittedly, nonprofits using LLMs to build war crimes databases do not justify even 0.0001% of the valuations that AI hypesters ascribe to the field, but that's their problem.

Scraping is good, sometimes – even when it's done against the wishes of the scraped, even when it harms their interests, and even when it's used to train an LLM.

But.

Scraping to violate peoples' privacy is very bad. Take Clearview AI, the grifty, sleazy facial recognition company that scraped billions of photos in order to train a system that they sell to cops, corporations and authoritarian governments:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/20/steal-your-face/#hoan-ton-that

Likewise: scraping to alienate creative workers' labor is very bad. Creators' bosses are ferociously committed to firing us all and replacing us with "generative AI." Like all self-declared "job creators," they constantly fantasize about destroying all of our jobs. Like all capitalists, they hate capitalism, and dream of earning rents from owning things, not from doing things.

The work these AI tools sucks, but that doesn't mean our bosses won't try to fire us and replace us with them. After all, prompting an LLM may produce bad screenplays, but at least the LLM doesn't give you lip when you order to it give you "ET, but the hero is a dog, and there's a love story in the second act and a big shootout in the climax." Studio execs already talk to screenwriters like they're LLMs.

That's true of art directors, newspaper owners, and all the other job-destroyers who can't believe that creative workers want to have a say in the work they do – and worse, get paid for it.

So how do we resolve these conundra? After all, the people who scrape in disgusting, depraved ways insist that we have to take the good with the bad. If you want accountability for newspaper sites, you have to tolerate facial recognition, too.

When critics of these companies repeat these claims, they are doing the companies' work for them. It's not true. There's no reason we couldn't permit scraping for one purpose and ban it for another.

The problem comes when you try to use copyright to manage this nuance. Copyright is a terrible tool for sorting out these uses; the limitations and exceptions to copyright (like fair use) are broad and varied, but so "fact intensive" that it's nearly impossible to say whether a use is or isn't fair before you've gone to court to defend it.

But copyright has become the de facto regulatory default for the internet. When I found someone impersonating me on a dating site and luring people out to dates, the site advised me to make a copyright claim over the profile photo – that was their only tool for dealing with this potentially dangerous behavior.

The reasons that copyright has become our default tool for solving every internet problem are complex and historically contingent, but one important point here is that copyright is alienable, which means you can bargain it away. For that reason, corporations love copyright, because it means that they can force people who have less power than the company to sign away their copyrights.

This is how we got to a place where, after 40 years of expanding copyright (scope, duration, penalties), we have an entertainment sector that's larger and more profitable than ever, even as creative workers' share of the revenues their copyrights generate has fallen, both proportionally and in real terms.

As Rebecca Giblin and I write in our book Chokepoint Capitalism, in a market with five giant publishers, four studios, three labels, two app platforms and one ebook/audiobook company, giving creative workers more copyright is like giving your bullied kid extra lunch money. The more money you give that kid, the more money the bullies will take:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

Many creative workers are suing the AI companies for copyright infringement for scraping their data and using it to train a model. If those cases go to trial, it's likely the creators will lose. The questions of whether making temporary copies or subjecting them to mathematical analysis infringe copyright are well-settled:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/ai-art-generators-and-online-image-market

I'm pretty sure that the lawyers who organized these cases know this, and they're betting that the AI companies did so much sleazy shit while scraping that they'll settle rather than go to court and have it all come out. Which is fine – I relish the thought of hundreds of millions in investor capital being transferred from these giant AI companies to creative workers. But it doesn't actually solve the problem.

Because if we do end up changing copyright law – or the daily practice of the copyright sector – to create exclusive rights over scraping and training, it's not going to get creators paid. If we give individual creators new rights to bargain with, we're just giving them new rights to bargain away. That's already happening: voice actors who record for video games are now required to start their sessions by stating that they assign the rights to use their voice to train a deepfake model:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/5d37za/voice-actors-sign-away-rights-to-artificial-intelligence

But that doesn't mean we have to let the hyperconcentrated entertainment sector alienate creative workers from their labor. As the WGA has shown us, creative workers aren't just LLCs with MFAs, bargaining business-to-business with corporations – they're workers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/20/everything-made-by-an-ai-is-in-the-public-domain/

Workers get a better deal with labor law, not copyright law. Copyright law can augment certain labor disputes, but just as often, it benefits corporations, not workers:

https://locusmag.com/2019/05/cory-doctorow-steering-with-the-windshield-wipers/

Likewise, the problem with Clearview AI isn't that it infringes on photographers' copyrights. If I took a thousand pictures of you and sold them to Clearview AI to train its model, no copyright infringement would take place – and you'd still be screwed. Clearview has a privacy problem, not a copyright problem.

Giving us pseudocopyrights over our faces won't stop Clearview and its competitors from destroying our lives. Creating and enforcing a federal privacy law with a private right action will. It will put Clearview and all of its competitors out of business, instantly and forever:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/01/you-should-have-right-sue-companies-violate-your-privacy

AI companies say, "You can't use copyright to fix the problems with AI without creating a lot of collateral damage." They're right. But what they fail to mention is, "You can use labor law to ban certain uses of AI without creating that collateral damage."

Facial recognition companies say, "You can't use copyright to ban scraping without creating a lot of collateral damage." They're right too – but what they don't say is, "On the other hand, a privacy law would put us out of business and leave all the good scraping intact."

Taking entertainment companies and AI vendors and facial recognition creeps at their word is helping them. It's letting them divide and conquer people who value the beneficial elements and those who can't tolerate the harms. We can have the benefits without the harms. We just have to stop thinking about labor and privacy issues as individual matters and treat them as the collective endeavors they really are:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/26/united-we-stand/

Here's a link to the podcast:

https://craphound.com/news/2023/09/24/how-to-think-about-scraping/

And here's a direct link to the MP3 (hosting courtesy of the Internet Archive; they'll host your stuff for free, forever):

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_450/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_450_-_How_To_Think_About_Scraping.mp3

And here's the RSS feed for my podcast:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/25/deep-scrape/#steering-with-the-windshield-wipers

Image: syvwlch (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Print_Scraper_(5856642549).jpg

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

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wizardbreen · 2 years

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Goncharov’s MUSIC

Okay I've been seeing all of this Goncharov discourse around, and it's driving me fucking NUTS how nobody has mentioned what I consider to be one of the most amazing parts of the movie: its jaw-droppingly stunning soundtrack, and the enigmatic composer behind it. From the hauntingly minimalist piano in the long opening shot in the railyard (punctuated by blasts of steam and using the tempo established by the chugging locomotives) to the frantic, crashing wave of strings, cymbals, and church-bells that accompanies the climactic shootout in the third act, there is no moment of this film that does not have remarkably effective scoring and composition. It's a masterpiece. The wavering picollo that we hear time and time again as an omen of imminent death? The elaborate organ during the interlude in the funeral parlor? UNFORGETTABLE. I'm copy-pasting the next bit from an article that I found a few years back--by all accounts it should have blown up like crazy, but somehow it didn't find the traction it deserves. I haven't fact-checked it personally, so take it with a grain of salt or two, but also prepare to have your mind fucking blown:

"The score of Goncharov has attracted much attention for its elaborate composition and the wide-reaching musical influences it seems to pull from. Many reviewers rightfully praised its masterful implementation of the full breadth of the orchestra, as well as its impeccable usage of traditional instrumentation both Russian (the balalaika, the mandolinesque doma, haunting svirel, and jangling buben), and Italian (the castagneta, the zampagna, the organetto, harpsichord, etc.) and the way it borrows effectively from both musical traditions and styles, as well as from the popular genre of the Spaghetti Western.

For many years, the identity of Goncharov's composer has been hotly debated, with no clear correct answer emerging. The composer is credited, of course, as НИкО Мариусович Орлов-Петров, (transliterated: Nico Mariusovich Orlov-Petrov) though this is widely agreed to be a pseudonym, as no other works by this composer have been found to exist. Querying the movie's production team has been met only with stubborn silence and the threat of lawsuits. Many Russian and eastern-european composers and musicians have been put forward as possible composers, but none have come forward to confirm these claims (and many have denied it outright). Imagine my surprise when I took a closer look at the name, and found what seems to be a ridiculously obvious answer.

The patronymic 'Mariusovich,' 'son of Marius', is something of a peculiar russian name, though not beyond the realm of possibility. 'Orlov-Petrov' is, however, an extremely unusual surname, with an extremely unusual construction. 'Orlov' can mean either Eagle, or sharp-eyed. Petrov can be translated simply as rock

The given name (НИкО) is peculiar: the first, second, and fourth letters are capitalized. The third is not. Most claim this as a simple typo. I think it means that the к is to be disregarded, and the remaining letters highlighted. НИО. En, I, O. taken all together, we get something like:

En I O , son of Marius, (Eagle/sharp-eyed stone/rock)

Imagine my surprise, when looking up some facts about my favorite film composers, that Ennio Morricone's father was named Mario. And that the surname Morricone derives from the medieval Moricus, meaning…’sharp stone’.

I make no absolute claims. Morricone certainly never took credit for it, and I respect his decision. I think, though, that anyone who listens to the score with an open mind might be surprised at just how well this theory fits."

#Goncharov #Gonchposting #film scores #Ennio Morricone

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coricomile · 2 years

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Tagged by @darkangel0410! I feel like it’s the old days of LJ again and I am so pleased.

Where do you publish your work?

AO3. Branding is secure- Coricomile over there, too. I do wish I hadn’t deleted my LJ some days, or that I could recover it. A lot of bb me’s history has been lost and I regret that.

What medium/application/etc. do you write in or with?

Google Docs. I am an avid “write on the phone when you think of stuff” author and it’s easy to swap between phone and laptop. Plus, it makes it infinitely easier for betas.

Do you collaborate with others?

For bangs, mostly. I’d love to do more active collabs like I once did with He Who Will Not Be Named for Bandom, but it’s gotten much harder to forge those kinds of bonds. For me at least.

How much editing do you do before you publish?

If it’s an exchange or a bang- you know, something for someone- I’ll reach out for a beta and sometimes an alpha reader. If it’s just something I’ve written for me, I’ll do a readthrough and a SPAG check, but boy I always notice those typos I missed when I read the fic back a year or so later. /o\

Do you listen to music when you write?

Usually. It’s hard for me to focus if I don’t have noise happening in the background. I don’t really do playlists or ~themes. It’s mostly just my massive “every song I’ve ever liked” playlist on shuffle.

How do you decide what to write about?

Brain bugs. I’ll watch something and think “blorbos could do that this way…” or just be minding my own business and think “hey, what if x did y?”. My ideas are mostly plucked from nowhere and pound at the brain door until I write them down.

When do you write?

When I’ve got the spoons. It’s been like pulling teeth recently, so not as much as I used to. Sometimes the words just trip over each other until they’re fully out and sometimes I have to use a sledgehammer. I’m currently in sledgehammer mode and it is my least favorite way to write.

How often do you write?

See above about spoons, but also when I have an idea that’s hit me just right.

Do you take requests? Why/why not?

I do :D They rarely ever come in, but I adore them. It’s flattering to know someone wants to know your take on a prompt and I do so much better when I have a person waiting for something than if I’m the person I’m writing for. @darkangel0410 commissioned a few Bandom fics back in the day, and they’re some of the ones I’m proudest of.

Is there any genre or type of story you want to write but are hesitant to?

Eh. I’ve covered a pretty broad spectrum over my writing history. I love horror and thrillers, but I have a bit of a stumble as I’m writing because *I* know the twists so they seem *super* obvious, but I get a ton of glee when I’ve surprised a reader.

Any inspirational quotes, videos, tricks, articles, etc. that help you stay motivated?

Mostly a deadline. Not very inspirational, lol, but it works for me.

Go to page 7 of your WIP, skip to the 7th line, and share 7 sentences.

Ahahaha, the 7th of 7th is smack dab in the middle of a porn scene, so we’re modifying a bit:

Without Dean, the capsule toys weren't worth the money spent. Neither were the tattoos, really. Not when he had to wash them off before he could show them off, or when the thin film would tear because he'd had to twist his arm too far to reach. Those went first, followed by the telenovelas.

He couldn’t speak Spanish very well, but he could understand basic sentences. If he really focused, he could follow along with what was happening in the moment, if not the general plot, but without the context it didn't make any sense anyway. A few times he turned to the seat next to him to ask about one of Dean’s characters when a familiar favorite face showed up, mouth closing before he had the chance to speak to thin air.

Tagging: @samshinechester @compo67@itstartledme Uh. Also more folks that want to play :D

#asked and answered #about my fic

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viral-web · 1 year

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hostcheaper · 1 year

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fuckyeahmoriharu · 3 years

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Apocalyptic OHSHC Story Idea: (MoriHaru centered)

A mysterious deadly virus devastates the world with rising death rates and no known cure or preventative. The only known fact about the virus is those with blood type O are somehow immune.

Society quickly crumbles as terrified chaos erupts. Neighbors turn against neighbors, families are torn apart, and new cults are formed in wake of the immunity revelation. The virus spreads quickly, leaving little to no chance of survival once it hits a city.

The host club are no exception, suffering at the hands of the virus. Kaoru is the first to perish, so unexpectedly that they didn't notice Hikaru showing symptoms. A few days later Hikaru dies, using his last breaths to make them promise they'll survive.

Their families are struggling to keep their empires from crumbling, centuries of progress and wealth nearly collapsing when all their staff abandons their posts to escape the chaos and few of the aristocrats manage to seal themselves in underground bunkers. After word of the Ootori's bunker quickly succumbing to the virus, the respective heirs of the host club make the difficult decision to not bury themselves with their families and stay above ground to find sanctuary elsewhere. The world has already ended, they do not grieve throwing away their fortunes. Their inheritance will mean nothing in the light of survival.

The hosts hear of a community in southern Russia that are accepting healthy outsiders. They debate on whether it's worth the risk but news travels quickly and the regrettably learn it's their own chance.

They set out to travel, first by car until the roads are too congested with abandoned cars, then along the highways until they realize they're easy targets for muggers and gangs, then by foot through forests and valleys where they can hide and forage.

Mitsukuni is the next to go, eventually passing beneath a weeping willow with Takashi sitting by his side, allowing the hanging branches to shield his tears but not his cries. All that's left is Tamaki, Takashi, and Haruhi.

Tamaki knows he's the next to die. His fiance has blood type O, as so does his friend, and he knows he cannot survive this. He can offer her empty promises on borrowed time until the inevitable. A few weeks later his ending begins. He coughs up blood as his fever rages even higher than the day before, his violet eyes dulled with his surrender. Tamaki makes Takashi promise him that he will protect Haruhi and care for her. Takashi agrees, vowing to get Haruhi to the community in Russia with whatever it takes. He promises that she will be safe and live a long happy life. With this, Tamaki feels he can finally let go. Takashi has to tear Haruhi from his body, tolerate her fists pounding on his back, her shrieking demands to let her go, but he carries her away just as tears spill from his own eyes.

The two travel in silence for a long time. Haruhi feels she will never forgive Takashi for not letting her grieve longer. Her anger slowly slips away day by day but the scar remains until one evening, he confesses what he promised to Tamaki, that he will do all he can to care for her in his wake. Haruhi seems to accept his vow but not his person. She will respect his loyalty but she won't allow herself to replace him with Tamaki. In the end she'll realize she doesn't have to replace Tamaki for she can love Takashi while keeping Tamaki's memory alive within her memories.

Months into their travels they must pass a rural village and are surprised to see there are still people living there. They are scared, not dangerous, but a mother approaches the two and begs them to take her two children who are blood type O. The mother is not and knows she doesn't have much time. She needs to give her children a fighting chance to survive and they would surely die here without her. Takashi and Haruhi eventually accept the 5 year old girl and the 3 year old boy, promising the mother they will bring them to Russia.

The elders in the village warn of gangs who scour the rural villages in search of blood type O's they call "type o's". They kidnap them and deliver them to cults and medical labs who are still performing experiments on their blood in search for a cure. Those are kidnapped are never returned and their bodies are later found in the rivers. The elders warn them not to believe their lies and to avoid them at all costs.

Shortly after they leave the village they do come across a gang who wants to take the children, promising they'll give the children a better life, that they have a facility specifically for type o's to live and flourish. Takashi manages to fight them off but not without a knife wound in the side. Luckily it didn't puncture any vital organs so Haruhi tears his shirt to make gauge, just enough a band aid to allow them to keep going.

Haruhi never thought herself to be motherly, as growing up without a mother, but she grows very attached to the children and does all she can to soothe their fears, feed their empty stomachs, and hold them close at night. Takashi makes it a habit to wake up early before the sun rises so he may be on guard, start a fire, and check the traps he set up the night before. Haruhi prepares their food, mends their clothing, and kisses the scrapes and bruises the children get after playing with sticks in the dirt. Takashi even creates two dolls made of sticks and cloth for them to play with.

A year has passed by the time they reach another rural village with people living inside. All the others they've passed through were empty, either deserted or filled with corpses, to which they covered the children's eyes as they walked past.

When they enter the village they are met with type o's, mostly friendly but some a little odd. They decide to stay for a few nights to rest and gather supplies before pressing on.

The first night Takashi and Haruhi meet with the others around the campfire after putting the children to bed. One man expresses his anger over the fact his blood is type o, saying there is no rhyme or reason to who survives and who lives, that mother nature has cursed them all even with an immunity. He says the type o's aren't the lucky ones, they are the unlucky ones who weren't meant to survive but will. They are "typos", as he says.

Haruhi offers that though they cannot explain what has happened they must press forward with their humanity. A woman in the circle bitterly laughs and says there is no humanity in what has happened, to both those who have died and those who will live on. She says she knew wonderful selfless people with all of the good of humanity wrapped into one person who succumbed to the virus, picked off by nature like a cruel punchline. There is no humanity anymore, only the animalistic instinct to survive. That, that is all they are now, animals living in the houses humans once built.

Takashi and Haruhi know they can't stay for long, that this isn't as safe as they thought. They decide to leave in the morning, packing their supplies the night before to make for an easy exit. However, while they sleep a man from the village tries to kidnap the children, waking Takashi and immediately forcing him to draw his knives, crushing the man's neck against the wall, pinning him. The man pleads for them to understand, that they need more type o's or else their village will die. They're way of life with die. They're traditions and history will be nothing but ghosts if they cannot replenish their population. Only a few in the village are actually type o's, making the rest vulnerable and desperate. The man tries to lunge for his knives but Takashi breaks his neck just as he moves. Haruhi turns the children away just in time but they hear the body slump to the floor. They are certain they must leave now. They have overstayed their welcome and they know the man did not act alone.

They escape the village, the two holding the children with their supplies on their backs while they run to make as much distance as they can. Eventually the yelling in the distance stops and they know they are safe again - at least for now.

A month later they come across a barn where five people are surprisingly living. Takashi and Haruhi are hesitant, keeping the children close behind them, but the people aren't dangerous and greet them with rabbit and leek stew. Haruhi and Takashi end up staying a few days at the barn, exchanging information and enjoying the pleasant company. The children find ways to play in the barn while Haruhi keeps an eye on them. It all seems well until one morning when a man allows the boy to come with him to the barn to help with the animals. It was innocent enough, the man wanted to show the boy how to collect eggs and milk the cows, but the boy accidentally startled the mule, making it kick the boy in the chest, breaking his ribs and puncturing a lung.

The men of the village say there is a hospital a day's journey east and Takashi and Haruhi frantically prepare to join them when they hear yells in the distance. The men know the voices to be a cult who collect the type o's to sacrifice as worship. None of the barn people are type o's and the neighboring cults know this. The men urge Takashi and Haruhi to head towards Russia and not follow them to the hospital lest they risk their little girl. Against their better judgement, Haruhi and Takashi head their advice. Haruhi kisses the boy's head and promises him she will find him again. The men promise to bring him to Russia after he is treated at the hospital. There is little time to waste. The boy's injuries are getting worse and the cult is moving in closer. They all leave in their separate ways.

Haruhi cries for days afterwards, holding the girl close as if to never let her go, mourning the loss of their boy. Takashi can only kiss her tears away and promise they will see him again.

that's all I got so far. but I felt inspired after seeing a news article saying people with the blood type o are less likely to get covid and I thought "hey, Haruhi and Takashi are canonically blood type o".

#will i make this?#i don't know #but it doesn't hurt to share ideas just in case #fanfiction idea #story idea #moriharu #mori x haruhi #ohshc #ouran high school host club #haruhi fujioka #takashi morinozuka #survival story idea #apocalypse story idea #romance and angst #ohshc ship #ohshc otp

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superlinguo · 3 years

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10 years of Superlinguo

Superlinguo started as a blog ten years ago on April 12, 2011.

A very brief history

Superlinguo began as a collaborative project with Georgia Webster, who I knew through community media. Georgia had done a linguistics major a year or two ahead of me, and the blog was a fun way for us both to engage in linguistics. We had originally planned to start a podcast, but it turned out to be too difficult for us to schedule recordings, so we started the blog instead. It took us a few months to get around to buying the domain name, after starting out (and remaining) on Tumblr, but we started the twitter account at the same time as the blog. Georgia slowly stepped away as her (non-linguist) work commitments grew, and by 2016 this enterprise was exclusively mine. Many people have only ever known Superlinguo as a solo project, but the collaborative origins were so crucial to me finding the rhythm, voice and motivation to keep the blog going in the early days.

Originally, we would post three times a week. That makes me exhausted to think about now. I dropped posting frequency down, and by 2017 I was posting once a week, and have been able to maintain that schedule ever since.

Superlinguo has evolved as my interests and skills have evolved. It started very generally as a way for us to engage with topics in the news and meme-scape. I tried out lots of different types of posts, some of which stuck and others didn’t. As I finished grad school and moved through eight years of contract jobs in different countries, Superlinguo became a place for me to collate and share my work across other platforms, make accessible summaries of my research and share research or ideas that amuse me. As a result of finding a role for Superlinguo, over the years the relationship between this blog and my professional life has shifted. It started as an anonymous blog that I assured my supervisors did not interfere with my PhD writing, to something that I do in work time as part of my commitment to making research accessible and engaging. Superlinguo now acts as a long-term personal memory device, typos and all.

Regular features, then and now

There are a few types of posts that have remained since the early days of the blog, including book reviews for fiction, non-fiction, and kids book. I’ve also done annual posts on the etymology of Christmas words, and most years we’ve had an annual end-of-year post full of linguistic-themed gifts. I also write summaries of academic articles I publish, although I’ve never collated them (here are a few).

Superlinguo linguistics books list - fiction and non-fiction

Linguistics Books for Kids - the Superlinguo list

Christmas words: The full Superlinguo list

Seasonal gift guide

I’ve been running the Linguistic Job interview series since 2015, and doing annual summary posts since 2016. Since 2017 I’ve been regularly updating a list of linguistics podcasts. From time-to-time I also share a By Lingo piece that I write for The Big Issue.

Superlinguo Linguist Job Interviews full list

Year in review posts

Linguistics and Language Podcasts

By Lingo posts

There are a few types of posts from the early days of the blog that haven’t survived. Things we wish English had was a way for me to explore interesting linguistic features while having fun picking on English for being deficient. We also used to have monthly link-o-rama posts of things we’d seen online. I imagine they’re link graveyards now. We also put out some teacher resources when we’d make them for workshops, but we just started pointing people to other resources instead.

Things we wish English had

Link-o-rama

Teacher resources

A lot of earlier posts were also much shorter and based on linguistic observations about memes or news. I do much more of that ephemeral posting on Twitter these days.

Stats stats stats

Since 2011 there have been 1182 posts. The blog has just over 38,000 Tumblr followers (although I imagine many of them are ghosts these days). The biggest posts (based on Tumblr traffic) is this summary of research on the gestures of blind people, which has 51,573 notes.

I still have great affection for Tumblr as a platform. There’s still a thriving, nerdy community of curious people on here, although perhaps we’re not as young and active as the heydays of the platform at the start of the 2010s.

Blogging the future

Superlinguo and I have settled into a comfortable internet middle age routine. It’s sustainable, it fits in with the rest of my work life, and it still fills me with so much joy to share linguistics and my work on this blog. Internet platforms and fads come and go, and I’m sure I’ll start more lingcomm projects in the future, but Superlinguo is my cosy home on the internet, and I look forward to welcoming you back in the future.

Happy 6th birthday Superlinguo!

5 years of Superlinguo

These were, apparently, the only other years I celebrated with posts!

#language #linguistics #superlinguo #anniversary #decade

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stellar-imagines · 4 years

Text

HEADCANONS REQUEST: ❝Bakugou with small and pregnant S/O.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki ]

「Headcanons of Bakugou with a small and shy pregnant S/O.」 [ Todoroki ver. ]

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

♤ Its already surprising to everyone how the two of you even ended up together to begin with. However what surprised them more was how soft Bakugou was with you. The guy threatens at almost everyone who dares to invade your personal space. Bakugou himself doesn’t really mind having people’s attention on him but whenever you’re with him, the guy will tell people to fuck off if he catches anyone making you uncomfortable. He prefers to have an arm around you or at least hold your hand because he doesn’t want to lose you in the crowd of people when you’re both out together.

♤ Super protective. When he finally became your boyfriend, it felt like you now have a bodyguard sometimes. You tend to hide behind him when people get a bit too close with you. This guy is super protective over you to begin with so it just doubled or maybe tripled when he found out that you were pregnant. He makes sure no one gets close to you and that not a single strand of your hair is harmed in anyway. He literally growls when someone is making you comfortable. When you’re pregnant, he doesn’t want you doing anything stressful and makes sure your meals are nutritious and healthy. Its probably his first time having a pregnant partner so he goes all out, pampering you and helping with everything.

♤ Used to get grumpy whenever you tell him to do something for you. He would grumble about how you're being lazy and whatnot but he will still do it for you. Now, he's doing it without the complaining. You need some food, he's gonna whip up a 3 course meal. Need to reach for something placed up so high or too far away from you? He’s up, telling you to just stay still while he goes get it for you. If he can, he likes to do everything for you. But there will be times where you just want to cook something on your own, he gets all angry and protective, like what if you burned yourself or whatever. You just have to remind him that you’re not made of glass.

♤ He learns everything there is need to know about being pregnant. But Bakugou denies the fact he was actually learning for your sake. The guy acts like he hasn't gone through 30 articles in the internet and read books about pregnancy. At first, you were super amazed at how smart Bakugou was to know the things that you don’t even know. He doesn't openly admit it to you that he’s actually learning but it didn't take long for you to figure out that he has been learning. You found out when he left his phone with you and you saw the tabs that were left open. You kept it to yourself at first, waiting for him to accidentally spill it out so you can call him a softie and mock him a bit.

♤ “Stop doing that, its mot good for the baby!”

”Really? How do you know that its not good for the baby, Suki?” you tried to act all innocent and gullible.

”Because I read it in that damned book, it said—Nevermind!”

”Ohhhhh, so you read it from a book. What about the tabs you left open in your phone the other day? You’re not only reading books but also from the internet.”

“Shut up. You’re lucky I love you.”

Total: 572 words Published: 14.04.2020

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ Is it bad that I’m hooked to this certain mobile game that I procrastinate on doing requests you all send us? Yes, I think so. ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting! Lou is always playing SOME game on her phone when she promised to talk about finishing up a few requests. ― author Natsuki

Requests are open! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

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daydreamer-kiki · 3 years

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. . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,, ✎︵ kiki is typing

This is just a lil into to what will be on this blog and a bit about me to.

✎ About blog

This blog is going to be dedicated to many aesthetics and agere/age regression.

Everything on this blog, that I reblog, makes me feel happy, calm, or helps me feel small.

I am in a few fandoms. I will reblog the things that appeal to me but I will try to not over run my blog with that content. I want everyone to be able to vibe in this space.

I know that some people will find this blog a bit “messy”. I’m sorry about that but for the people that stay, thank you. ♡o｡.(✿ฺ｡ ✿ฺ)

✎ About me

Pronounce ⁞ prefer zi/zir but is fine with any

gender ⁞ uhhhhhhh

Age ⁞ minor

Small age ⁞ usually 2-4 but has gone up and down

Some likes ⁞ shoujo anime / magical girl anime / most types of anime to be honest, fairytales, tea, baking, cooking, shopping, makeup, gothic / pastel goth / cute j-fashion, bunnies and kitties, sweets, collecting dolls and plushies, sanrio, otome games, and fall / autumn weather

Some dislikes not triggers ⁞ bugs, spiders, too cold weather, too hot weather, liars/lying, broken promises, loud noises, waking up in the morning, and bitter foods

✎ About age regression

This a pretty good article about why age regression happens and how I can be helpful for your mental health.

Agere is not s3xual in any way.

It is not relate to any kind of k!nk.

It is a coping mechanism.

It is a good and valid outlit.

✎ About final

I have absolutely no plan other than just posting stuff I like. My asks are open and I’m willing to interact. So if I didn’t put something you would like to know, ask! Want me to try to find some aesthetic gifs, pics, or stim boards—I’ll try my best! (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ And if I made any typos, I would be grateful if you told me (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

And with that I hope you have a nice ┈๑⋅⋯ ୨ day/evening/night ୧ ⋯⋅๑┈

»»————-♡*byebye*♡————-««

#positive agere #agere positivity #agere #babycore #kidcore #introduction #sfw agere #sfw little one #sfw littlespace

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mysticm3ss · 4 years

Note

ooo since it’s winter now, how do u think zen would spend a snowy day with his s/o?? (speaking of zen, i just have to add that behind the mask was so good!! i’ve been stressed & tired with work lately so it was so comforting to read. i’m so glad there’s someone who’s still writing about zen bc he’s like, the love of my life LOL, so i’m always thrilled to see new content. the fact that u write him so ridiculously well is the cherry on top. thank u for ur writing!!!! hope ur well 💞)

aaaaaaaa thanku so much ur so sweet! i’m so glad that u liked behind the mask and that it could help! and yesss literally same i love zen so much it hurts sksksksksks

also i live in australia and snow is just a pipe dream for me lmao, the most experience i have with anything like it is when i defrost the freezer and make a snowman in the kitchen sink lol so sorry if this is inaccurate. it’s summer rn and it’s over 37 degrees celsius as i type this, so i’m 100% living vicariously through MC right here 😂😭

When you wake up, the first thing you notice is the cold.

Suppressing a shiver, you huddle beneath your blankets and roll over to see Zen still sound asleep, hair splayed across his pillow and mouth slightly open as he snores. Even in sleep, he has an arm slung over your waist.

“Zen,” you hiss, and he blinks groggily.

“Mmm?” he managed, voice thick with sleep as he slowly attempts to pry open his eyes. “Jagi? What is it?”

His words slur into each other, his chest rumbling with his raspy morning voice.

“Cold,” you grumble simply, and Zen chuckles, arms tiredly sliding around your middle and dragging you against his chest. He spoons you to him, pressing his face into your neck. Though his body is warm, his nose is cold as he plants soft kisses along your throat.

“Well, I can’t let my princess freeze,” he mumbles sleepily, cocooning the two of you in blankets as his legs tangle with yours. You press your almost-numb feet against his calves, and the actor jerks in surprise at the sudden cold before squeezing you closer, running his hands up and down your arms to warm you.

“Mmm, jagi, you know a great way to warm up?” he murmurs, continuing to lay kisses along your hairline as his voice takes on a seductive edge.

and then he unleashes the beast

When the two of you are finished, Zen drapes a thick blanket around your shoulders and settles you on the couch as he makes you both a hot breakfast and tea.

A few hours later, the both of you decide to make the most of what little daylight the winter offers, and plan to go for a walk in the park together.

The moment you make the decision to go outside, Zen goes full mother hen on you, ensuring that you’re wrapped up in just about every article of warm clothing you own.

Even when you’re donning several shirts and layered up on sweaters, he still insists on checking up on you every few minutes.

“Babe, are you cold? Are you sure you don’t want my jacket??”

“Zen I’m wearing like thirty layers. I’m literally sweating right now.”

“Okay… but let me know if you get cold. Promise~?”

He helps you build a snowman, and insists on taking a number of selfies with you in front of it.

In fact, he takes a number of selfies with you throughout the whole day; you just look so cute in your scarf and beanie, he can’t resist!

Obviously spams the messenger with all of the pictures, resulting in annoyance from Jumin, mild jealousy and lamentation from Yoosung, appreciation from Jaehee, and fangirling from Seven, who promptly declares the two of you his OTP.

At the end of the night, Zen makes you both hot chocolate and cuddles up with you on the couch to watch a movie, warming up your cold hands in his own, and pressing gentle kisses to the cool flush of your skin.

And although the season’s chill has settled into your bones, when you fall asleep in Zen’s lap, your head cradled in the crook of his neck, your heart has never felt warmer.

thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! please leave a comment/reblog if you did! xx

(apologies for any typos, i only skimmed this before posting, also sorry for not posting for so long my brain is Messed Up(tm) rip in peace)

#mm #mysme #mystic messenger #hyun ryu #mm zen #mysme zen #zen x reader #hyun ryu x reader #mm hyun ryu #mm headcanons #zen

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ingayderzim · 4 years

Note

not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao

Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.

Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)

Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.

One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.

Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.

She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.

At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.

One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."

That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.

The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.

Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other

"don't get your taco in a twist"

"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"

"Whichever one pisses you off more"

I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."

Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.

The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.

A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.

So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.

Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.

A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.

Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.

#hazbin hotel #anon

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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

Text

Skam season 3, episode 9 reaction

Hey everyone! It has been a while since I posted one of these, but I wanted to talk about O Helga Natt around its anniversary. And I also wanted to post this before the bloopers were released, heh.

Talking about this episode and especially O Helga Natt almost makes me want to throw my hands up in the air, because how can I possibly do justice? This is where the story has been heading this whole time; this is what Isak’s story has been building to. It is truly extraordinary film-making and storytelling. Watching it in real time and getting to cry in unison with fans across the globe was one of the most rewarding experiences I've had watching a television show.

Episode 9

Clip 1 - To Isak my son

deLillos’ Hjernen er alene is playing at the start of the clip - an obvious reference to episode 5 cuddle scene. Also Tarjei is a big deLillos fan so that’s cool they used that band.

I have no adequate words to describe Tarjei’s acting in this scene. It’s so good and full that you just want to appreciate it frame by frame, so I apologize if I sound redundant singing his praises.

The irony of the title of this clip - “Life is good” from the “Cherry Wine” lyrics Even sends - should be pretty apparent since life is clearly anything but good for Isak at this time, and anyone still reeling from the hotel scene would not need to be reminded

Poor Isak. He’s gone through hell in the past few hours. Tarjei’s value as an actor is never more apparent than in scenes like this. He can convey so much with his eyes and just the littlest facial reaction. Isak looks so wiped and despondent without being over the top sad. Even his body language tells you so much! The completely deflated shoulders, the stillness. You know how all the energy and happiness has been sucked out of this kid.

Good job Isak for going and looking up mania, by the way. I mean, Wikipedia is maybe not the best source, but he went and educated himself. Though obviously he’s probably burning with more questions, it’s a start.

The section of the Wikipedia article on screen mentions depression, as slight foreshadowing for later in the episode.

Isak’s phone is getting texts, though we don’t see them yet. They must really be like pinpricks to his heart. He must know or guess they’re from Even (or someone connected to Even like Sonja) and he just doesn’t want to deal with it or potentially see more bad news.

It’s only been like 9 hours since the end of the hotel clip. How much sleep do you think Isak got? (None.) Did he cry for hours? Did Eskild give him a hug and make him something to drink?

When Eskild appears in the door and asks if Isak needs anything, Isak doesn’t answer for a moment. Because really, what can he possibly say? What does Isak need in this situation that Eskild can provide? Because no amount of comfort or a cup of tea or anything else is going to change the fact that Even is apparently bipolar and not legitimately in love with him, that this incredible relationship of his dreams was fake. What Isak needs is to be told that last night was a dream and Even walking out of that hotel room didn’t really happen, but Eskild can’t provide that honestly.

Eskild, bless him, is still in the doorway, and he’s weighing what he needs to say. You can tell he wants to say the right thing or at least something that will genuinely help Isak, but the guru is stumped. This is not an experience he’s handled.

Carl also plays this really well. Eskild is dialed down a few notches and what he brings to this scene isn’t Eskild’s playfulness or humor, which would be out of place, but his kindness and desire to help the people he cares about.

What did Isak tell Eskild about how everything went to hell, anyway? The whole story, or the abridged version? Because I wouldn’t be surprised if Isak just didn’t talk much or explain the situation, other than it was over with him and Even, or Even didn’t really love him.

I’m also not sure how much experience Eskild has with something like bipolar disorder, so if Isak in fact told him something like “Even is manic and our relationship was fake the whole time,” he might not have been equipped to explain that’s not how mania works.

When Eskild says, “It will pass, Isak,” Isak is barely reacting (Tarjei’s acting!!!! So subtle but so good!). You can tell the words don’t land like Eskild wants them to - maybe Isak doubts this pain will pass, or he know it will but doesn’t feel like this heartbreak can last anything but forever. But I also think Isak doesn’t want it to “pass” - what he wants is to cling to the happy moments when his time with Even felt more real than anything in his life.

Eskild tells Isak that it might not seem like the heartbreak will pass, but it does. Not gonna lie, I want to know all about Eskild’s heartbreaks, because this part, at least, is him speaking from experience.

Isak doesn’t even reply to that. Not out of rudeness or anything, just because I don’t think he has the words or the energy at this point.

When Eskild says to let him know if he wants to talk, Isak just nods after a few moments. Man, Isak barely speaks in this scene. I mean, most of it is him on his computer, but even when Eskild’s around, he can’t summon more than a few words.

When Eskild leaves, he shuts the door but doesn’t completely close it. It’s open just a little bit, which was very smart and perceptive of him. Isak spent so much of his time shutting himself up in his room (something that Eskild would have noticed) as well as shutting himself off from the people around him, that Eskild is wise not to close the door all the way. By keeping the door slightly open, he gives Isak that one bit of connection to the outside world even if he understands Isak isn’t in the mood for talking or socializing at the moment. It’s just a reminder that Isak isn’t alone.

Isak gets another sound of notification from his phone for a text message, and again, TARJEI’S ACTING. You can see him dreading to pick up his phone and read the message, but he knows that he better do it and rip off the Band-Aid. Or he better read the messages because it’s eating him up not to know.

The texts are of course the lyrics to “Cherry Wine” by Nas and Amy Winehouse. (There’s a typo in the lyrics that I think indicated that Mari or whoever copy + pasted the lyrics from a specific lyrics site that also had the typo, lol.)

Even does a lot of communicating in lyrics and drawings and other artistic or abstract methods, and it’s not different when he’s manic, except that the level is more … fervent, shall we say.

But man. These fucking lyrics. I think it’s clear that Isak doesn’t really get what Even’s trying to say. He associates the lyrics wtih Even’s mania, like Even going too far again and doing too much as with his Pretty Woman fantasy in the hotel room, or with Even’s pre-hotel texts from Thursday night (which are now making more sense to Isak in context). And Isak probably associates them with his mom’s Bible verses that she spams to him at length.

But Even is trying to convey something real to Isak. We don’t know his exact mental state at this time but there’s an obvious sincerity behind the text. He wants Isak to understand. The lyrics refer to the “noise of my head” and to intense feelings - mania, the idea that Even’s emotions are too much to bear. But that the solace in this point is “an immaculate version of me and my baby / With all respect cause you the only one that gets me” - Even is trying to single out their connection and their relationship, especially that Isak gets him. I think he’s trying to remind Isak of what he said about Sonja - don’t listen to her, because she doesn’t get us, you’re the only one - last week, Isak understood what Even was saying about “only you can feel what you feel” and now Isak needs to remember.

“Where is he? The man who was just like me / I heard he was hiding somewhere I can’t see” - Even wonders where Isak is, how he’s doing - he wishes Isak were still there with him. He also singles out the connection he feels, “just like me” - they have a bond and a natural connection.

The lyrics about it being good and pouring some cherry wine - Even wants everything to be okay with them, wants to return to normal, to the place of domesticity and comfort they had prior to what happened at the hotel

“Life is good no matter what” - I think he definitely implies that life is good no matter what with Isak. With Isak, nothing else matters.

Additionally we know Even is a Nas fan, but it’s possible he also selected that song because he knows Nas is something he shared with Isak, Nas is special to the two of them as a duo.

Isak does not know what to make of these lyrics, though. I think he gets maybe a little that Even is trying to reach him and reference their relationship, but he doesn’t understand the depth, and he assumes it’s just manic rambling (again, not helped by the resemblance of Isak’s mom’s texts with her Bible quotes to Even’s texts with song lyrics). Even only thinks he feels this way about Isak. It’s so painful.

Isak’s reply to Even is something that, on the one hand, I completely understand from an emotional perspective, but on the other, I yelled “NO!” when I read the subs. I get it, it has been a very long night and Isak is still confused as fuck, he’s only beginning to process what happened and make sense of it via Wikipedia, and he thinks that their relationship was all fake. He needs space, he needs to not get more messages from Even that will confuse him. And yet, this is of course painful as hell and you want to yell at Isak not to send that message.

I think a lot about what Even was going through after the hotel scene, and this is really one of the most heartbreaking parts for me to imagine from his POV. He’s trying to reestablish this connection with Isak and assure him that their love is real and emphasize the singularity and importance of their bond, and instead Isak sends him this short, blunt message that doesn’t give away any warmth toward Even and asks him to stop contacting him (for now, anyway). Imagine how Even felt reading that message. All of his worst fears are coming true. Isak has seemingly rejected him on the basis of his mental illness, Sonja has intervened … “life is good” with Isak, but Even can’t have life with Isak, it seems.

“Slutt å meld meg” - stop texting me - that’s kind of an echo of the end of episode 7, where Isak asks Even to break up with Sonja or let him be, except this time Even can’t run to him.

I fucking love how Isak writes the message and then hesitates before sending it, and then when he does send it, he does it quickly and forcefully to get it over with before he changes his mind. Almost like it pains him to send the message, too.

Guys, I cried the first time I saw this scene, and I’m tearing up now. When we hear the sound of the new text message coming in, we expect it to be Even again. It wouldn’t be unlikely for Even to reply something soon after Isak sent him something, even a brief acknowledgment like “OK, I’m sorry.” Although from Isak’s reaction, I wouldn’t be surprised if more likely he thought Even was so manic that he couldn’t stop himself from texting lyrics and other things that would confuse Isak. And if you were watching this scene in real time, or even binge-watching it after the fact - all that is on your mind, probably, is the hotel scene, Even’s mental illness, and Isak’s heartbreak. In real time, we were all a mess speculating what would happen to Even and to Evak and crying over the hotel clip. I mean, Julie had to apologize to her own crew for inflicting such torment on them! She had to post an “Alt er Love” to her own Instagram to keep us from losing hope! So I think most of us, in that chaos, forgot about what happened at the start of that hotel clip, when Isak carefully types out that text to his mom where he comes out and tells her that it will be OK. Hell, I think Isak forgot that he did. He got distracted by Even surprising him with the suite and them having sex and eating burgers and getting the creeping feeling that something was wrong with Even, and then obviously everything that happened once Even left the suite naked. Coming out to his mom must feel like ages ago even though it wasn’t even 24 hours.

You see Isak dreading that next text message, and then picking up his phone and staring at it, and for a long moment we the audience don’t get to see the text itself, we only get to see Isak’s stunned reaction to it. Whatever it was, it wasn’t something he expected.

Julie is honestly really gifted at timing and editing the actors’ reactions for emotional impact, and this is one of the best examples in the show. That extended pause is so we can just soak in Isak’s astonishment and Tarjei’s wonderful acting, the slow, small smile that gradually starts across Isak’s face. That delay before we get the beautiful message, and it wasn’t what we expected, but it was exactly what we needed in this moment of hopelessness. We had forgotten about the text to Isak’s mom, and likely so did Isak, but her reply came at the best possible time, with the best possible message.

This is one of the moments that solidifies the 21:21/birth/rebirth metaphor, like this is actually the scene that demonstrates it was a deliberate choice by Julie rather than some random happy accident where Julie unintentionally created that symbolism and zealous Skam fans overanalyzed it. We find out from the text message that Isak was literally born at 21:21 on June 21, and maybe it’s a lot of 21s but it works, we know that his literal birth is connected to his spiritual rebirth.

Mama Valtersen telling him that she will love him always is so reassuring. Especially when Isak is doubting someone else’s love (Even’s) is real, it’s extra good to be told he will always be loved by someone.

Also I just loved the way she said it? It feels like Biblical and epic to me, and her Bible texts haven’t always been the warmest and fuzziest but here’s one where the tone adds to the message. She has loved him from the moment she saw him.

Additionally, not to make this touching mother-son reunion all about Evak, but … guess who else has had significant feelings for Isak from first glance?

To expand on that topic, though, I do think while Isak’s relationship with his mom obviously serves its own purpose and has its own weight in Isak’s life and his arc, it also serves as a mirror of sorts to his relationship with Even. Obviously one is familial and one is romantic, but these are two mentally ill people he loves and chooses to accept in his life. Isak’s father doubted that his mother would be able to accept Isak with a boyfriend, but when given the chance to speak for herself, she subverts those expectations and reveals that she will always love Isak, conveying her acceptance of his sexuality. Sonja thinks Even’s feelings for Isak aren’t real, but when Even gets to speak for himself (particularly in the O Helga Natt text,but really any time he’s with Isak) he subverts her expectations and makes abundantly clear that he loves Isak and that his feelings are real. Two mentally ill people subverting the expectations of others who try to speak for them. Two mentally ill people Isak will decide that his life is better off including rather than rejecting.

That tear rolling down Isak’s cheek. He has likely cried so much in the past few hours, but now he’s crying over something positive rather than something painful.

I don’t think Isak realized exactly how much he wanted her to accept him until he read that message. Just the sheer relief of it! I kinda feel he always kept that fear at bay, out of sight, just like his relationship with her. Trying to minimize her importance, such as in the locker room scene. Like well, if she doesn’t approve of his sexuality, he doesn’t fucking care. She’s not in his life anyone. Who gives a shit what she thinks? (But of course he really does care and it’s been giving him anxiety all season.)

The way Isak holds the phone to his chest, over his heart, like he’s going to hold on to this feeling. The intense relief, that his mom accepts him. The hope that maybe their relationship isn’t dead and buried. It’s just what he needs at this moment.

Clip 2 - Magnus saves 2016

Jonas and Mahdi are having a conversation about Dennis Rodman and “Kim.” At first I was like … Kim Kardashian? And I was prepared to write this huge screed about how great it was that Isak mentioned Eskild’s interest in Kim Kardashian as a thing that marked him as too gay or gay-gay in the Pride clip, but now we had two apparently straight boys also talking about Kim Kardashian to subvert those expectations. And then I remembered that oh yeah, Dennis Rodman is pals with fucking Kim Jong-un. Wah-wah. In 2018 that seems so much less weird than everything else wrong with the American political hellscape.

Isak shows up with waffles and Mahdi takes that as his cue to exit. SEE YA!

Now the first time I saw this clip, I thought, while it was great, parts of it were a little contrived. (A not-entirely-positive opinion about S3? GASP.) It’s not a big thing and I’m a lot more fond of its role in the season now since I recognize its overall purpose, but one of the parts was that Jonas didn’t know why Isak was gone from school and that Isak hadn’t told him. I do think that I understand why Isak didn’t tell him - he was so depressed that he just didn’t want to talk about it, he wanted to retreat from the world. So I buy that. But I do kind of doubt that Jonas wouldn’t check in with Isak if he had been noticeably absent from class, considering all the bullshit that had just gone down with Isak so recently. Isak missed a week of class not long ago, if Isak is missing again it’s cause for concern.Jonas isn’t a pushy friend and gives Isak his space, so I can expect it from that perspective, though.

This is one of the downsides of Skam’s real time format - sometimes I do feel that they draw out events that would have been covered more quickly, or handled off screen, just so we can see the big reactions and moments in a clip instead of handled briskly in a text. Like I think the real reason Jonas didn’t know was so Isak could tell him in this clip, in front of Magnus, and Magnus could tell him about bipolar disorder.

But also, this season is so good that I can easily overlook nitpicks like this. The show has built up more than enough goodwill at this point, and I do enjoy this scene as a whole.

Anyway, Isak says he’s a bit down, Jonas asks what’s up, ever the helpful bro. Isak says that Even went out naked in the middle of the night and that he’s apparently bipolar, just as Magnus plops down with his mouth full of sandwich.

Oh, Magnus. We thought you were just a fool, but it turns out you’ve got unexpected reserves of wisdom. Kind of a theme in this season, all the people who turn out to have good advice if you just talk to them and listen to what they’re saying!

Magnus casually says his mom is bipolar when he sits down, like it isn’t a big deal at all. He might have said, “My mom’s an accountant,” or, “My mom’s a Libra.” He looks completely chill when he says it.

This is another thing I thought was contrived the first time I saw this clip - that Isak just happened to have a friend with a mentally ill parent with the exact same MI as his boyfriend, who could give him advice on how to handle it - but now I love it.

Think about it: all this time, Isak has been struggling with his relationship with his mom - keeping it kind of vague, really, just alluding to stress and family problems - and all this time, he’s had a friend who also has a mentally ill mother. Someone who has kind of a clue what he’s going through. Magnus’ relationship with his mom is a parallel to Isak’s with his mom, but unlike Isak, he apparently has a very close, seemingly untroubled relationship with her.

Isak learns a lot this season about sexuality, religion, and mental illness, but one of the other lessons he learns - one of the strongest, in my opinion, in how it’s developed in the narrative - is pretty simple: Reaching out to your friends is one of the best resources for help you can get. Imagine if Isak had happened to talk to Magnus much earlier about his mom. Imagine if Magnus had mentioned his mom had bipolar disorder, so that when Even turned out to be bipolar, Isak wasn’t so in the dark about the disorder. I mean, maybe Isak wasn’t at the stage of development where he could accept this kind of message, but still! Magnus wasn’t someone he was super close to like Jonas, but Isak has appeared to know him and hang out with him from like … S1 or S2, actually, and they’re been hanging out regularly for a few months now.I’m not saying everything would have been okay if Isak had been aware of Magnus’ mom earlier, I don’t think it’s that easy, but Isak has been holding back and repressing himself so much, and this knowledge may have helped out his knowledge of both his mother’s and Even’s conditions. It’s when Isak shares his problems with his friends that he can get advice like this.

Isak is so taken aback by this information. Magnus also has a crazy mother?? (Again … all this time, Magnus has had a crazy mother? Magnus has known someone with bipolar disorder? And it wasn’t this huge dramatic thing that Isak would have known about because of the pain and sorrow and stress it caused Magnus? It was just flying under the radar this whole time?)

“She’s not crazy, she’s bipolar.” AHHHHH, MAGNUS. That line is so simple but so important. Magnus treats his mother’s mental illness as a factual condition rather than an area for judgment.

Isak’s interest is piqued. Magnus: not only good for weird hookup anecdotes and BDSM dreams.

He wants to know what Magnus’ mom is like. Magnus is like, my mom is AWESOME. (There’s a text message from one of the previous episodes, I think it’s episode 5, where he does mention his mom with like, heart emojis).

A really great detail is that Isak has met Magnus’ mom. That’s something that really confounds Isak, because evidently this women seemed normal. She didn’t give off vibes that she was craaaaaazy. She was just Magnus’ mom. Isak is flabbergasted that she was normal - she’s normal but also has bipolar? Does’t compute.

And I mean, I think it is important to note that Isak’s mom seems to have more drastic symptoms of mental illness, and maybe doesn’t come across as “normal” with how she talks or at least with what she’s saying. And Isak just experienced Even’s mania by seeing him ramble nonsensically and walk out in public naked in the middle of the night. Isak’s experience with mentally ill people, that we know of, has involved them acting in more extreme ways - and I think that hotel incident is contorting a lot of Even’s actions in his mind, and Isak is forgetting that Even was “normal” most of the time, too.

When Isak says Even is bipolar, Magnus just nods, like it’s no big deal. Because to him, it isn’t! It’s something that’s an everyday fact of life, having a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Isak mentions that Even went out naked in the middle of the night, and Magnus’ response was to laugh.

I remember when this season was airing, around this episode there were a lot of like ... Skam antis cropping up in response to the show’s sudden popularity and hype - and obviously no one has to like the show, but frankly a lot of the backlash was coming from people pissed that this thing they didn’t care about was suddenly everywhere, or that their own fave TV show wasn’t getting as much attention (or GOD FORBID, had to share the attention with a new, shiny show). And I remember some cries of ableism around this time because of some of the mental illness discussion, a lot of which I thought was purposefully misinterpreting the story for Woke points. Stuff like Sonja’s speech in the hotel scene was ableist (yeah … it was. That was the whole point,and it was specifically refuted within the narrative) or that Even’s text message was ableist because it was him groveling to Isak for forgiveness and that he apologized for being mentally ill (no, he didn’t, and in any case it was the text of a suicidal person, not something we’re supposed to take as right and justified). One part that also had people upset was that Magnus is dismissive of Even walking out naked because he thinks it’s funny and like … okay, I can get why people would find that dismissive, although Isak himself is like ��It’s not funny” so I’m not sure why that context is ignored. Like, the thing is that we as audience members saw the hotel scene from Isak’s POV, and it was this horrible, shocking thing. We were worried about Even’s well-being, we were worried about Isak’s reaction.

But for Magnus, who sees bipolar as a normal, everyday fact of life, it’s a funny anecdote! And I mean, I’m on Isak’s side because that is a holy-shit kind of incident. I absolutely do not blame him for not being amused when Magnus starts laughing, because it was a traumatic and potentially dangerous thing. But I don’t think Magnus is an awful guy for hearing a brief summary of what happened and laughing. He’s coming from the perspective where he’s dealt with these kind of incidents and he survived, his mom survived, and they probably laugh about them later. Magnus shares an equally outlandish story about his mom sending in a resignation letter for the regional director of the railway, and he can laugh about it. Maybe at the time it was stressful and caused problems, but in retrospect it’s funny.

(Also, Magnus reacts differently from Jonas - Jonas was like What??? Because in his mind, it is a wild thing. Magnus laughs because he’s used to stuff like this, apparently.)

Magnus asks where Even is, Isak says at home, and Magnus clarifies that he means mentally, not physically. I LOVE that little moment, that Magnus’ instinct is to ask how Even is doing mentally. I think it says a lot about his experience level, that he knows how these manic/depressive episodes go.

Isak says he hasn’t talked to Even because it’s all been bullshit from his side, and you can see Magnus be like, “...what? I saw him giving you those heart eyes in the hallway, man, I don’t buy this for a second.”

I love Magnus just saying what we were all thinking at this point. Watching in real time, we were so desperate for someone to just sit down Isak and explain to him that Sonja was wrong and Even loved him and his feelings were real, and here’s Magnus being our unexpected savior.

Magnus is so confused, because these things are so obvious to him that are not obvious to Isak. Isak has been with Even a while and he hasn’t been manic the whole time, so why would his feelings not be real? When Magnus’ mom is manic, it’s like he can’t reach her. Sort of like Isak not being able to reach Even in the hotel room, when they were eating burgers and Even’s speech had clearly gone farther than Isak could get to him. But Isak has been able to reach and connect with Even plenty of times before that.

Isak says that Sonja said he had been manic the whole time. Magnus asks who’s Sonja? Isak: “His ex.” MAGNUS’ FUCKING FACE. Like, oh, Isak. You are dumb. You are really dumb.

And they call Magnus a doofus, when here’s Isak believing everything his boyfriend’s ex told him.

Lmao, I love that a lot of this scene is Magnus speaking from experience as someone with a bipolar loved one, and then this part is like … just plain relationship common sense that even someone with as little game as Magnus can understand. You don’t just buy everything your boyfriend’s ex is selling. Are you really going to trust his ex telling you he doesn’t have feelings for you?

“Wow! Wowwww.” That’s one of the best deliveries on the show, and we don’t even see David’s face.

Also, props to David for this scene. He gets to show off Magnus’ hidden depths, obviously, and he plays it so naturally and is such a funny voice of reason that again, I can totally roll with this late development. I like this inclusion of Magnus’ mom because it does give depth to a character who had previously been the goofball friend.

What would a Magnus season have been like? Would we have met his mom? It doesn’t sound like there would be a lot of ~drama to mine from that relationship, but it would have been nice to see.

Magnus tells Isak just to talk to Even, he isn’t brain dead just because he had a manic episode (excellent job, Magnus) and says to talk to him when he’s calmed down. Jonas says what we’re all thinking, that Magnus is pretty cool. Magnus: You’re just realizing that now? But he also says that Jonas is pretty cool, too, which is just fucking adorable.

Meanwhile, Isak has this tiny, tiny smile break his tired expression, like he has gotten just a sliver of hope from this conversation. This whole clip has been him getting his world turned upside down, all his preconceived notions about mental illness being turned on their heads, getting some sense knocked into him. It’s beautiful.

Clip 3 - Twisting the knife, thanks Julie

Oh Jesus. I believe this scene was submitted to Gullruten for Tarjei’s acting nomination, and you can easily see why. He’s acting off basically nothing, just him and a phone, a voice on the other line, and yet he manages to do so much.

I’m going to link @toneelspeler’s post about Tarjei’s acting in this scene, because she’s the acting expert and says it way better than I ever could. Give it a read (and check out her other acting posts!)

Isak studies his phone, preparing to call Even. (Even Kosegruppa, may it forever be that way. May Isak and Even both take that as their name upon their marriage. Or Even Kosegruppa and Isak Mannenimittliv.)

Isak stresses about calling. He just stands there for a moment, clutching his phone to his chest as he mentally prepares himself to call. He wears a shirt with “The Scream” by Edvard Munch on it. Edvard Munch was a Norwegian painter who is widely believed to have suffered from bipolar disorder, and “The Scream” was inspired by a hallucination he had. It’s a small detail, but a clever one.

He finally calls Even and you can see the debate still raging inside him as the phone rings, wondering what he’s going to say, how he’s going to deal with this. But then when it goes to voicemail, you can see he’s somewhat conflicted. On the one hand, he doesn’t know what he’ll say to Even, he doesn’t know what he’ll hear or how the conversation will go, but he always wants to hear Even’s voice again, he wants to speak with him. It’s disappointing because he misses Even. Also, if Even isn’t answering, then that might not mean anything good. It might mean Even has slid into a depressive episode.

Someone does call back, but it’s not Even, it’s Pappa. And you can tell Isak doesn’t really want to have a conversation with him at that moment, and that he’s weighing whether to answer, but he does anyway. Which I think is because he’s decided it’s better to face his problems head on, maybe, and because he knows he can’t put off a talk with his dad forever. Or maybe he’s just like, well… how much worse could it get?

Isak’s dad over the phone seems kind of falsely jovial. Or maybe not false, but like he’s consciously trying to inject some levity and pleasantness into this conversation that he knows probably isn’t going to be very warm. If you want to think more positively about Isak’s dad, maybe he’s trying for warmth because his son did just come out to him the last time they spoke, and he wants him to know that he is okay with it. The fact that he brings up Isak’s boyfriend on his own suggests to me that he wants to talk about it.

Isak just sounds tired, of course. Not really in the mood to talk, just giving short answers and getting the necessary info.

The camera cuts from the wider shot of Isak in his room, visible from the waist up, to just Isak’s face after Pappa mentions the boyfriend. Because of course that’s the jolt for Isak, a shift in the mood of the conversation, and visually the cut signifies that. It also gives up a closeup of Isak’s face not just so we can appreciate Tarjei’s acting, but see this very bare, raw moment from him, with nothing else in the way.

That blank reaction and pause from Isak at first, and then going into saying it was just a joke. Maybe because he just doesn’t want to get into the topic right now and it’s the fastest way to shut it down. Maybe a reflex left from when Isak wanted not to seem gay. Maybe because he still isn’t sure that Even’s feelings are real and that it wasn’t a joke. Maybe because it’s easier to say it was never real than to acknowledge that all that Isak has lost if it were real.

Isak’s dad doesn’t really know how to react to that. Like, Pappa Valtersen is not the best dude, but I think he probably knows enough about his son, or at least about parenting, or human emotion, to suspect that Isak is perhaps lying about it being a joke but knowing not to push it at this point. Either that, or he’s taken aback that Isak apparently opened up to him about something in his life, however flippantly, but it turned out to not be real.

Pappa turns the subject back to the concert, saying he’s looking forward to seeing Isak and his mom. I think from the second Isak said his relationship with Even was a joke, he has been regretting it, or turning over whether to tell the truth, until finally he needs to take back his comment. Tarjei’s acting with his eyes is so good here! Isak needs to say it wasn’t a joke, because he can’t dismiss the weight of what he and Even had. It wasn’t a joke to him. And now he’s heard from Magnus that it probably wasn’t a joke to Even, either. Isak can’t throw away this relationship and say it was nothing.

“It wasn’t a joke. It’s just over.” Ouch. You know, I’ve always wondered why Isak says it was over here, when he was just calling Even, and when afterwards he sends him a text? It feels as if Isak is trying to salvage the relationship from those actions. Maybe this is his worst fear, worsened by Even not answering his phone, that it really is over.

Additionally, though it’s a painful moment, I’m proud of Isak for admitting that it was real and not walking it back - it’s another step in him being comfortably out of the closet, he didn’t take back his coming out to his dad.

Isak’s dad asks whether he’s sad about it - again, Isak’s dad kind of sucks overall, but I kinda feel for him here, like it’s not necessarily the most elegant or sympathetic way of asking, but you can get that he’s fumbling to reach his son.

And of course Isak sheds that single tear just as he denies that he’s sad about it. Oh, baby.

Oh man, the way once that first tear falls, the sadness and emotion just starts to escalate, and you can see Isak racing to end the phone call, because in a second it’s going to be too much. And once the call is finished, he has to wipe his face and compose himself, his breath coming shakily, because he’s overwhelmed with all the emotions.

Lmao, I remember that watching in real time, this was the equivalent of Julie kicking us while we were down. Just what we needed: another clip of Isak crying to himself, yayyyyy.

Anyway. Bravo, Tarjei. Some of that was clearly one take, and he managed a wonderful emotional transformation. He doesn’t overact, he doesn’t underact. He gives you exactly as much as you need to understand Isak’s state of being, and to leave us on a bleak but open-ended note before the Friday clip we knew was going to make or break Evak. Even if you thought a happy ending was coming based on Skam’s idealistic nature, it was easy to put yourself in Isak’s shoes and feel the uncertainty if things would turn out okay.

Clip 4 - O Helga Night

So here we are. I’m not even sure where to begin. There’s so much to say about this clip that I really think I might forget something, and two days after posting this I’ll have a 3 AM epiphany about something that wasn’t mentioned. I apologize if I leave out a big part of the clip’s significance or symbolism. But that’s a testament to how incredible the scene is, that there are so many layers.

I’ll start with this: This scene works brilliantly on all levels. It works as an individual scene; I’ve seen several Tumblr posts with the video of this clip that have garnered thousands of notes and lots of comments like “I’ve never seen this show, but this is beautiful” or “I don’t even know what this is and I’m crying???” It works even better as a climax to the entire season, tying together multiple threads and themes, incorporating several types of symbolism that have developed throughout the story, and involving several areas of growth from Isak’s arc that demonstrate what he has learned over the last few months. It works on an acting level. On a writing level. On a directing level. The music works. The editing works. It works as a romantic scene and as a spiritual scene and as an inspirational scene. We start to cry because we are worried when Isak gets that text message, and we remain crying long after the scene ends not because we are sad, but because we have seen a moment of unparalleled tenderness. There aren’t a lot of series or films that I can point to where the tears feel so earned; not mechanically drawn up by routine tearjerker dialogue and events,but created naturally because this is the point the story has been building to all along. There aren’t a lot of canons I can point to that can pull off a scene like this and have it come from such a genuine, profound place.

Also, if you were in the fandom and diligently waiting for that Friday’s clip, you probably remember that NRK originally reported this episode as being like 40+ minutes long, which would have meant a giant Fredag clip. Then shortly before the clip dropped, the episode length was changed to 18 minutes, which had everyone going WTF and wondering how they could possibly fix Isak and Even in that amount of time. After the clip aired, I don’t think anyone was complaining.

Let’s see if I can write about this scene without sobbing.

Prior to this clip, Isak’s mom sends him a text message saying that this is the church where Isak was baptized, adding another element of rebirth to the story.

In the full episode, this scene doesn’t have the usual timestamp indicating when the clip is happening, probably because the scene is just too pretty to have that plastered over it, and like … fair.

From the second I pressed play on this clip for the first time, right after it was uploaded to the Skam website, I knew it was going to be special. Look at how gorgeous the opening shot is. We see the wide shot of inside the church, the neon blue cross, the two people gathering in front. I love that there is a moment of silence, just before the organ starts where there are just some hushed sounds, whispering, maybe. It gives you chills before the music even begins.

I love that we start at the back and the camera slowly moves up the aisle, because we are with Isak, literally in step with him as he advances toward his parents. This is a tremendous moment by itself for Isak, who has no idea that he’s about to get a text from Even; he only thinks that he’s going to be facing his parents after a long time. I don’t think he’s seen them in months. You can see the trepidation on his face. I don’t think it’s dread, I don’t think it’s like he doesn’t want to be there, it’s just that he knows there’s so much going on in his family dynamic and there’s a lot to deal with. And Isak isn’t the same person as when he last saw them! He’s grown a lot, he’s changed, he’s come out to them, he knows that he doesn’t have the ideal relationship with either of them.

He’s a little unsure when he greets them. Not unhappy, just unsure, a little awkward. He hugs his mom and his dad and of course we don’t see their faces, which is probably for the best - it would have been a distraction and interrupted the flow of the scene.

I think he relaxes a bit when he sees that okay, he met with his parents and the world didn’t explode, they’re going to get on with this concert. It’s fine. It’s a lot, but he’s fine. (Tarjei’s face!)

Isak gets the text notification and pulls out his phone. We then get this incredibly powerful text message that tears our hearts to shreds. So much to say about this message.

Now, when I watched this clip for the first time, I was sitting there refreshing the Skam website, and so I watched it without subtitles. Obviously I didn’t know exactly what it said, although it was clearly from Even, and there were several phrases that jumped out at me: 21:21, bipolar. I knew what “Elsker deg” was because the Skam fandom was making plenty of posts about how to say “I love you” in Norwegian in the hopes that Isak and Even would say it. So this was definitely a bit of relief at first glance. And I mean, hey, it was Even, finally breaking the silence after almost a week! We were so worried about Even, but he wrote something to Isak, yay!

I realized it was a suicide note not based on the words of the note itself, but from Isak’s flashbacks during Nils Bech’s singing. The R+J reference with the neon cross, scenes I recognized as Even talking about death or tragedy, a Wiki article about depression. The whole season was hinting at something to do with suicide, so I was primed for it, and I figured Even was suicidal from those images, plus Isak’s reaction afterwards. I mean, he was running out of the church, I don’t think he would have done that without good reason.

That being said, when the subtitles were released, the text immediately pinged me as a suicide note. It might not read to everyone as a suicide note, for reasons I understand (because it doesn’t read that way to Isak at first, either) but it did for me, for a pretty obvious and personal reason: I have written a suicide note. More than once. At a couple of dark times in my life, I sat down and tried to write my final thoughts in this world to my loved ones. I found it really hard, because there was an infinite amount of things I wanted to say, but my suicide notes were full of comments similar to Even’s. Lots and lots of apologies to the people I thought I had wronged. Mentions of things that I thought were significant to them, places and experiences that we had shared. Pessimistic statements like how I was alone, it was never going to change. Asking them to remember the good times or the positive aspects of our lives together. Saying I loved them. The whole thing rang so uncomfortably familiar that it was impossible for me personally not to see the signs of Even saying goodbye.

Let’s take Even’s text message line by line, for the most part:

Dear Isak - This is a very formal way to begin, like an actual letter Even has prepared, not just a casual text message. It sounds like he has written out this message beforehand and given it a lot of thought.

I’m sitting where we met for the first time and I’m thinking about you. - First of all, my fucking heart. Just picture Even sitting in the bathroom for God knows how long and thinking about Isak. Like this damn school bathroom holds such sentimental value to him because it was where he first met Isak, the man of his dreams. The first place he spoke to this guy he’d been pining for from afar for months. A guy who turned out to be even better than Even expected. Even is thinking about Isak. He’s about to end his life and he’s thinking about Isak, wistfully. Returning to sentimental or nostalgic places is unfortunately pretty common for suicidal people. It’s a way of saying goodbye. So that’s another tip-off of Even’s mindset.

It’s soon 21:21 - I’ll get into the 21:21 significance to this clip in a little bit, but let’s just acknowledge again that Even treasures everything he shares with Isak. Isak and Even ran off at 21:21, now 21:21 is theirs. (I know Julie included more 21:21 stuff in her scripts for S3 that we could discuss, but I want to focus on stuff that is in the show itself now.)

I want to say a thousand things to you. - This line might go a little under-looked, in my opinion, and I get why because it’s not as Evak-specific like some of the others with their 21:21 and parallel universe mentions, but honestly, it gets me right in the gut? It just conveys the enormity of Even’s feelings for Isak and all that he wants to share with him. All that he never thinks he will get the chance to do.

I’m sorry for scaring you. - This refers to the hotel scene, obviously, and a large part of me wants to be like, “Noooo, Even, don’t apologize for that.” The way Even apologizes for so much feels like it’s another factor of his suicidal mindset - he wants to make amends with Isak before it’s over, and he also just feels terrible about himself and what he’s done to someone he loves.

I’m sorry for hurting you. - This is probably not just in reference to the hotel scene and the aftermath but every part of their relationship where Even thinks he may have hurt Isak. Breaking things off with him in episode 5 without explaining why, running hot and cold on him or going back and forth between Isak and Sonja. Though I do think that Even thinks he really hurt Isak with the hotel incident, too, especially if he has an idea of what Sonja said to him. Even thinks his mental illness hurts people around him by default.

I’m sorry for not telling you that I’m bipolar. - To clarify, not that he is sorry for being bipolar (although I think Even has plenty of negative thoughts about that) but sorry that he didn’t tell Isak. I don’t think this is something we’re supposed to judge Even for, by the way, or think is justified - he is suicidal and he blames himself for all that went wrong. It’s his call when to disclose his mental illness, but because he didn’t tell Isak, the hotel getaway went awry, and so he feels guilty for that.

I was afraid of losing you. - AHHHHH. This line hurts so much. To have it put so plainly and vulnerably what we suspected previously - that Even was hiding his mental illness from Isak out of fear of rejection - breaks my heart. It was the worst thing to Even, the thought of losing Isak.

Had forgotten that it’s not possible to lose someone, that all people are alone anyway. - This is when the note takes a dark turn, really. The lines before that give off some warning vibes but could be assumed as an apology text. This is when it really becomes clear that Even is in a bad place mentally. It sounds so fatalistic - Even was worried about Isak when he shouldn’t have wasted the effort, because he could never have Isak, anyway. That he was always alone. That his relationship was Isak was destined to end in disaster. Like the brief period of happiness they had together was never meant to last. Even doesn’t have anyone, he can’t have Isak, he’s alone with his thoughts. And as he told us in episode 5, he only way to escape is death.

In another place in the universe we are together forever, remember that. - Another line that set off warning bells for me. Asking Isak to “remember that” - why does Isak need to remember if things will turn out okay with him and Even? Shouldn’t he just know that? Saying that it’s another place in the universe that they’re together forever - why another place? Why not this one where they can be together? It’s lovely and romantic that he imagines them together forever, but alarming that it has to be a different world then theirs.

Love you. Even - The first time we hear Even (or either of them) say I love you, and it’s beautiful, we all know they love each other, but consider that Even is saying this now, in this text, because he thinks it’s the last opportunity for him to say it.

Skam didn’t do a lot of big dramatic speeches with Evak. We got some with Jonas and Eva (for example, after she kisses P-Chris or in the skate park or in the S1 finale) and some with Noora and William (Noora talking to William before he leaves for London) but a lot of the dialogue between Isak and Even is more on the sparse, understated side, in my opinion. That doesn’t make it any less meaningful, it’s just that Julie tended to pack a lot of meaning in one or two lines rather than a whole paragraph. There are worlds of feeling in the short, simple lines between Isak and Even ( “Can I stay in here with you forever?”/”You can” for instance). It’s really effective for me especially because Isak is not a very verbose person and Even often communicates in gestures, drawings, or song lyrics to illustrate his feelings.

This text is one of the closet things we get to a big dramatic speech, and it’s a text message, not a verbal monologue. Even, who has been the mysterious new boy for much of this season, leaving us constantly guessing as to his motivations and secrets, has finally laid himself bare, exposed his feelings in detail. Except for one little thing, which is that he plans to end his life.

Isak doesn’t realize the nature of the the note at first. I don’t blame him. The text is worded ambiguously enough that it’s easy to miss, and we know Isak doesn’t have suicidal or depressive thoughts like Even (remember, he flat out doesn’t get what Even is saying in the cuddle scene and calls Even’s POV dark) so he’s not drawing from his own experiences. A ton of viewers didn’t recognize that it’s a suicide note at first, and no shame in that.

I think Isak is just overwhelmed by the fact that Even has finally contacted him again and Even is telling him all this heavy romantic stuff. I’m thinking about you, we’re together forever, etc. I mean, Even tells Isak he loves him for the first time! You can imagine that the “Elsker deg” overshadows anything else at first. Even does love him, Even’s feelings were not fake. What Isak and Even had was real. Isak must feel relieved and overjoyed; a small smile spreads on his face as he reads the text and Nils Bech starts singing O Helga Natt.

So now we’ve got Nils singing, and it’s really cool how involved he was in this season! His song “Waiting” was in the S3 trailer, “That Girl” was in episode 2 as the closing song, and now he’s got the climactic music for Isak’s story. In fact, I believe this scene was written with Nils’ singing in mind. He is also, just to reiterate, the “Bech” in Even Bech Næsheim. It’s awesome that they used the music of a real-life gay man so heavily in a season about a gay kid.

Not gonna lie, my eyes can never stray from his pants. Also, his orchestra appears to be all women, which is neat! And of course we have that giant neon cross just hanging out being him, resembling the one from Romeo + Juliet.

To discuss the choice of song a little bit, not to be mega obvious, but … O Helga Natt is a Christmas song, and this clip starts at a Christmas concert. Christmas - again, not to be massively fucking obvious - is a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. So it’s another clear birth/rebirth reference. O Helga Natt refers to the holy night Jesus was born; “O Helga Natt” as a clip refers to this night of rebirth for Isak.

I want to tread carefully because I don’t speak the language, but some of the lyrics of O Helga Natt line up with certain actions in the clip. Norwegians/Swedes (because the song is in Swedish), feel free to correct me if I make a mistake. I’m going off a translation of the lyrics.

For one example, Isak realizes Even’s text is a suicide note after the lyrics are something like “for us he suffered the pain of death.” It’s not right on that lyric, so maybe a reach, but I think it’s worth mentioning. After all, the references to death were included throughout the season as clues to Even’s state of mind.

Isak is watching this performance and everything is normal until Nils looks into the camera, effectively making eye contact with Isak. Which, from an in-universe perspective, is perhaps coincidence, but it’s that shift that signifies Isak’s transition from just watching this concert to making the connection to the text message from Even. I mean Nils might as well be Isak’s guardian angel telling him to haul ass out of there.

It’s pretty subtly acted and effectively directed. Isak is just watching Nils and then he blinks and his gaze shifts from Nils to the neon cross. We get a very, very quick montage of flashbacks, from Isak and Even lying in bed during the cuddle scene, Juliet lying on her deathbed, Even in the Mikael video. Cut to Isak making the connection, it’s written on his face. Cut to another quick montage: the Mikael video again, Even’s note with “I don’t sleep cuz sleep is the cousin to death,” Even lying in bed at the hotel, the Wiki article about bipolar disorder (specifically the lines about depression). These are rapid fire images, and honestly the impact of some of them really depend on your memory of this season, if you have been filing away the clues episode by episode. They’re all moments linked to depression or death. The Romeo + Juliet suicide, Even lying in bed telling Isak the only way to escape your thoughts is to die. Even saying an epic love story has to end with death. Even mentioning song lyrics about death. Even saying that the only way to have something forever is to lose it. I think this was really rewarding if you were watching in real time and making note of these recurring hints, because this was quite literally the payoff for noticing. All those moments were presented in this montage that flashes by in like a second or two.

Isak puts the pieces together. Man, imagine if he hadn’t seen Romeo + Juliet and that neon cross didn’t trigger any associations in his head? Would he have realized and made it in time? In-universe, it’s a good thing Isak decided to stalk Even on Google and watch that video so many times it aroused his curiosity about Even’s favorite director. And that he went for R+J instead of like, The Great Gatsby (Nils would needed a random green light instead of a neon cross).

Isak’s look of realization is really well acted. It’s not too obvious or overplayed, it’s just this dawning sense of placing Even’s text in a different light. He pulls out his phone and we see the text message again, so we can contextualize it with that talk of dying and depression. We can see what might be romantic imagery and sentiment, a love confession, start to seem like a goodbye.

Isak doesn’t waste any time, he gets up from the pew and walks out of the church. I wonder what his parents thought? Like he probably texted them afterwards that it was an emergency, but damn, their son just up and left. They thought he was going to the bathroom or something and he just peaced out for the evening.

Notably, in Romeo + Juliet we have Romeo going toward the altar, toward his doom. In Skam, Isak turns away from the altar, rejecting this fate.

We get one last shot of Nils singing before we take a break from his angelic voice, and then we get another montage. This fucking montage. This is what made me start to cry the first time I saw this scene. Christ, okay. I’m going to try to type through misty eyes. There’s a lot going on here so hopefully I don’t miss anything.

The first time I watched this montage, I was such a wreck. I was sobbing, and while up to this point I was very convinced Julie was not going to kill off either Isak or Even, and that they would get a happy ending, this montage managed to make me doubt. While it was playing and Isak was running, I really genuinely feared that Isak would get to Even but like, there would be an ambulance and paramedics would be wheeling out a body bag on a gurney. And in that brief moment I felt with such conviction that my heart was going to be absolutely broken if Even was dead. I was going to feel such a sense of anger and betrayal that I had gotten sucked into this story and it hurt me that much. I legit did not know how I would deal if Even died. I mean, I thought I would function as a human being, but I was like … I will never be able to trust any canon again if they fuck this up. So thanks for that minute or so of sheer terror, Julie Andem.

The montage runs chronologically backwards. It starts from the most recent time Isak and Even were together, this moment of perfect unity and happiness where they kissed in the elevator, and travels back through the big moments of their relationship: Isak and Even reuniting and having sex for the first time in episode 7; Isak and Even kissing and affirming their feelings and seemingly about to enter a relationship in episode 5; earlier that episode when Isak and Even lay in bed kissing, tucked away from the world; bursting out of the pool kissing in episode 4, then Isak kissing Even for the first time underwater; Isak and Even locking eyes across the room while kissing girls in episode 3; Even looking at Isak in the windowsill in episode 2. Then Isak approaching Even on the bench in episode 1 for their first real conversation,and finally, Even in the bathroom, “meeting” Isak.

It runs backwards for two main reasons. First, Even has told Isak that he is in the place where they first met, and the montage is a visual countdown where we go back, step by step, to that place. It indicates why Isak is running and where, just in case you missed it. We travel back through their relationship as Isak travels back quite literally to the beginning.

Second, symbolically, this is part of the rebirth metaphor. If the pool scene is the spiritual rebirth of Isak as he accepts his sexuality and begins to live as a more authentic version of himself - including as a gay man - then the church scene stands out to me as the rebirth of Isak and Even as a relationship. We go back to the beginning of Isak and Even so they can be “born” again, this time with their big secrets and insecurities exposed between them so they can be together honestly. Additionally, it is another form of rebirth for Isak as a person. This scene combines the various threads of the season and the lessons he has learned. I wouldn’t say this scene is a test, but it’s a demonstration of how Isak has grown as a character - can you imagine the fuckboy Isak of the season premiere in this situation? It’s a rebirth of Isak into the person he’s meant to be.

The montage also serves the purpose of absolutely fucking you up by making you remember these glorious, beautiful moments with this amazing fictional couple that you have been getting to know over the past few months/weeks/hours. You really feel the scope of Evak, the depth of the feelings there in the development. And no doubt this is what Isak is also remembering: all that he and Even have gone through up to this point. All the wonderful times. Everything he has to lose. He is incredibly in love with Even and at this moment he is so fearful he might not reach him in time.

We see him Isak running through the streets of Oslo and I doubt he stopped to take a bus or whatever, he just had to keep moving, it didn’t matter. Isak finally arrives at the school and comes into the courtyard, out of breath and petrified. We see the flashback of Even and Isak meeting on the bench, because that’s probably what Isak thought of where they met - it’s where they had their first actual conversation, where Isak learned Even’s name, etc. In the present, Isak sees that damn bench and it’s empty. No one is there. Isak and the audience feel our stomachs sink into the ground. You know he’s thinking he’s too late.

But then - one last flashback clip as Isak realizes maybe Even didn’t mean the bench. We again see Even being a charming weirdo at Isak in the bathroom, inside the school. It’s like a life preserver. A moment of hope. Is that what Even meant by the place they met? Because, of course, it’s where they technically met even if they didn’t really talk inside of it. (And because Even is a sentimental weirdo who would hang out in the bathroom just because he met Isak there.)

We see Isak turn toward the school, and hallelujah, just as Nils starts singing again, Even comes out of the school. THANK GOD. Everyone in the whole world collapses in relief. Isak is not too late, Even is alive, Even is here. Even doesn’t look particularly well - he’s all bundled up in a hoodie, like he wants to hide from the world, and you can tell from his body language that he feels done with it all - he’s slumped over and not full of energy. But he’s still here.

Even sees Isak and stops in his tracks. He just freezes. The look on his face is pure shock. He did not think he would be seeing Isak. He didn’t think Isak would come for him - Isak has been thinking for days that their relationship might be over, but at the same time, Even was also thinking it was over. And maybe it’s just such a big moment crashing through his wall of sadness, that Isak is there with him now, that he can’t even move. How do you cope when the person you most want to see but thought you’d never see again is suddenly right in front of you? That Isak read his message and ran to their special place, where Even said he was?

Isak looks back at Even and of course goes to him. They walk toward each other and the shot is absolutely beautiful, it’s dark but the light is warm. How lovely is it that they walk toward each other? And slowly, too, not running into each other’s arms. The emotions, the relief, the love, they’re just too big, and these boys are so vulnerable right now (especially Even) that they need to take it slow. Isak doesn’t overwhelm Even, he approaches him carefully.

Their faces as they approach each other, damn. Especially Even’s, because again, he is completely thrown by this moment. He can’t believe it. And I bet you anything he is scared, and nervous, because this is Isak, beautiful Isak, seeing him for the first time after learning Even is mentally ill. Isak now knows this truth about Even that Even is ashamed of and tried desperately to keep hidden; Isak, who said he was better off without mentally ill people in his life. Even thought he would lose Isak if Isak learned that Even was bipolar. And yet here is Isak. Even doesn’t know what to expect.

Isak and Even are once again dressed somewhat similarly. They have on a kind of maroon sweater or hoodie, jeans, brown shoes. But the way Even is dressed is very guarded, with his hood up, hair covered by a hat, very closed off from the world, while Isak - who we’ve seen dress like Even before by retreating into his hoodie when he’s at a low point - seems more open in his appearance. His head is entirely uncovered, no hat or hood, and his jacket seems open and unzipped. Because it’s now Isak’s turn to be warm and open, he’s not the one struggling here. In fact his purpose is to bring Even out of that shell and make him feel like he’s not alone.

This scene is one of the big 21:21 moments - because Even brought it up in his text, mentioning it was almost 21:21 (the clip was released at 20:24). Besides Isak’s mom’s text earlier this week, the other big scene I associate with this imagery is of course the clip titled 21:21 (pool scene) and O Helga Natt mirrors the pool scene in its imagery. Like with that scene, you have Even standing still on the left as Isak approaches him from the right, with a bright light between them in the distance. There’s even some rain as a counterpart to the water of the pool, and I don’t know if that is just a happy accident of filming, but it adds to the baptism imagery, the water coming down over them.

In both the pool scene and O Helga Natt, you have Isak approaching Even - you have Isak making the decision to act on his own. He’s being proactive to reach Even. Again, this is a rebirth of the self, his character maturing and growing.

By the way, the image of Isak approaching Even? That shot’s one of my favorites in Skam, ever. It’s so simple but so full of feeling.

This is where I’m not positive about the translation again, and feel free to correct me, but the lyrics of “O Helga Natt” at this point when they’re approaching each other contain “du ser en älskad broder” which I believe to something like “you see a beloved brother.” Seems fitting that this plays when they see a loved one.

While there’s a level of caution, especially from Even’s side, Isak doesn’t pause or hesitate as he approaches Even. When he gets close to him, he just immediately leans in for the life-saving nuzzling to happen.

Many shows would have them fall into each other’s arms or start passionately kissing, or Isak would make a dramatic speech, or there would be a lot of dialogue. Skam goes for such a raw, tender approach that it makes a lump rise in my throat. Isak slowly and carefully rubs Even’s face with his. He makes sure that Even can feel him there, feel his warmth when it’s cold enough to see their breath. It is simply about making Even realize that Isak is present and close to him.

Isak also gets in a nose rub, because that is Isak and Even’s thing, that is their gesture of comfort and affection and love. That is a grounding technique that’s developed between them, without even talking about it.

Also, so often we have seen Even initiate these touches. He’s the more experienced one, the more confident of the two, the more extroverted and less repressed. Isak isn’t totally shy about touching Even, but he has often followed Even’s lead on how to touch him. Now it is Isak’s turn to initiate this physical contact.

Even kind of accepts this face nuzzling but he’s also clearly in disbelief, and he closes his eyes. Like he can’t believe it. But when he closes his eyes, he’s blocking out everything but Isak’s warmth and scent and the feel of him nuzzling his cheek.

That fucking muscle in Henrik’s cheek as Isak nuzzles the side of Even’s face = A+ acting, bury me. (This is so obvious I feel ridiculous saying it, but Tarjei and Henrik act the hell out of this scene.)

There are so many spectacularly gorgeous moments in Skam, that you could single out a number as the most beautiful, but for my money: I don’t think any single image gets me quite as strongly as Isak paused with his cheek to Even’s, and Even deciding to nuzzle Isak’s cheek back, and rubbing his face along Isak’s.

Jesus Christ, that moment. Even has been in disbelief and now he’s accepting the love Isak is offering, he’s settling back into himself. He’s showing that Isak has gotten through to him. What a character moment.

Isak takes Even’s head in his hands after that, because it was the turning point, he knows Even is responsive. They look into each other’s eyes, because Isak needs Even to see him.

“You’re not alone.” The one line of dialogue in the clip.

That is the only line of dialogue you need. Not “I love you” or “I’ll always be there for you” or a long monologue. What Even has been indicating all season, both directly and indirectly, is that he is afraid of being alone, or he is convinced he is alone. He just stated it definitively in his suicidal text message, like that is his final conclusion. Even needs to be reassured otherwise. And Isak has made sure that Even is not alone, he’s run to him, and he’s gotten close to him physically, and he’s going to make sure Even isn’t alone after this, either.

The way Isak says it with such simple assurance, and the way Even has to close his eyes because the feeling is too overwhelming. Ugh, crying now.

If you were in the fandom at the time the season was airing, you may remember that after this clip aired, someone posted a picture they snapped of Tarjei and Henrik filming this scene and standing in each other’s faces. There’s a cut between shots before they kiss, and I’ve always wondered if that was because the person stopped to take the picture at that point, lmao. You can see a car drive by in the background. (Or maybe not, because I remember the picture didn’t have Tarjei cupping Henrik’s face? I’m not sure. Anyway, the person who snapped that pic is blessed for not spoiling the fandom.)

That kiss between them. Isak is firmly cupping Even’s face, not letting him go, but he’s not pushing the kiss. There’s this pause before it happens. Because it’s overwhelming, and because I think Isak wants to make sure Even is comfortable with this kiss, so he’s not going to initiate it. He’s letting Even know that he wants to, but he’s waiting for a signal from Even before they proceed. And it’s when Even indicates that he is on board that they kiss.

This kiss is one of my favorite Evak kisses for the sheer amount of emotion behind it. The feeling that this kiss carries all the weight of the world behind it for these two characters. I adore it.

Also, I love the timing of the music with the editing of the clip? For instance, Nils’ voice during this part with the kiss feels particularly angelic, and then it cuts out and we hear just those strings … it’s so powerful.

You know what else is powerful? How Even breaks off the kiss, because the kiss is so much. It’s completely overwhelming, and a lot to handle for someone who’s in a very fragile state. But I think he also can’t quite believe it, still. He thought everything was over. It isn’t. Isak is here, kissing him, showing that he still wants to be with him. Isak has saved him, like in his dreams.

The lyrics to “O Helga Natt” are about salvation. “O helga natt, du frälsning åt oss gav / Oh holy night, our salvation you gave.” This whole night is about salvation. Isak who had been saved by Even from loneliness and living a fake life now saves Even from being alone and death. That’s where “I’ll save you right back comes in.”

That shot of them looking at each other, before Isak goes in for the hug - breathtaking. Another one of my favorite images in the whole series. They are too far gone for words at that point, and a hug will say everything that is needed, anyway.

And that hug! Of course, the hug. Wow. That the clip ends with Isak clutching Even for dear life, and then we pull back to see that Even is clutching Isak back. Our final image is two boys holding each other in the warm light of the schoolyard. By themselves, but not alone. It is exactly the message we needed: one of unwavering kindness and support. And just like that, Isak and Even’s relationship is reborn, starting over again from the beginning, this time with no secrets between them.

Do you think, when Even saw Isak on the first day of school, that he imagined Isak was capable of running to him and saving him and loving him so thoroughly?

There’s no music during the end credits, because I mean … what are you going to play, even? Just let the viewers cry in peace.

This scene won a Gullruten, for good reason. I know it was because we fervent Skam fans went wild with voting, but come on, it still deserved everything.

Thematically, this clip combines many of the lessons Isak has learned throughout the season:

Isak has learned to accept his sexuality, so he does not hesitate to run to Even because he accepts that Even’s love for him is real and he loves Even. His internalized homophobia doesn’t play a role in this scene. He has grown enough to embrace his love for another boy rather than trying to repress his sexuality.

Isak has learned that he wants to accept mentally ill people in his life. Not only does the scene start with him reuniting with his mom at the concert, but he has educated himself enough to recognize symptoms of depression and suicidal thoughts, and presents himself as fully on board with Even and ready to support him.

Isak has learned to reach out to the people around him for help and to take their advice. Eskild, Sana, Jonas, Magnus … he has a strong support network for himself and he’s learned not to isolate himself. And it’s because Isak has learned not to isolate himself and cut himself off that he is able to extend this lesson to Even. He is able to take the support he’s received and turn it into support given. “You’re not alone” is the lesson Isak has been learning all season.

When I was writing this reaction, I managed to come across in my drafts a post I wrote back in 2016, not long after Skam season 3 aired. I didn’t post it at the time, I guess because I wasn’t as involved in the fandom and the draft felt pretty personal and overly earnest, and I never posted it probably because I just forgot about it. It was by accident that I found it now. However, I want to include what I wrote then, back when S3 was still new, because not only does it explains how this clip pays off the 21:21/rebirth symbolism and the R+J references, but I’m not sure I could say it any better now than I did then about the outstanding relief of this clip:

it’s kind of incredible how during s3 there was always this low-level prickle of dread, especially watching in real time, because the possibility of suicide was always there, starting from 3.02, when Even says that the main characters in a love story have to die for it to be epic. there were the blatant references to Romeo + Juliet, a well as Even’s recurring comments about death (“the brain is alone” in the bed scene, “Did you think I’d died?” in the pool, “I don’t sleep ‘cuz sleep is the cousin of death”) which were this dark cloud over even the happier moments. after the locker room scene, when people really began to hypothesize Even was mentally ill/depressed, it seemed inevitable from all the clues that the story was pointing at a future suicide or an attempt, and that informed the ongoing audience reaction. whenever Even was absent from the clips for a while or didn’t reply to a text, I would see speculation and worry that he had killed himself. and it wasn’t just with Even, either - remember when Linn’s sleeping pills were mentioned during that miserable week of episode 6, people were freaking out that Isak was going to steal her pills and OD. because there were all these thematic hints that you couldn’t get away from, that left a sick feeling in your gut even when Even and Isak were kissing in a pool or cuddling in bed.

and yeah, some of it probably was because we are so used to seeing stories like this where the lovers do die, that Even’s remark about love stories needing to be tragic to be epic seems like a common enough sentiment. especially stories where gay couples or mentally ill people need to die for it be Meaningful and Deep. we’ve seen plenty of those. it says something that even after Skam had built up enough goodwill in me that I trusted the show to know better than to pull some Bury Your Gays BS, or to kill off a mentally ill kid after taking the time to stress how people with mental illnesses can lead normal lives, I was still crying and yelling at my laptop the first time I saw Isak running from the church, because I was terrified of what he would find.that I could not turn off the part of my brain that said suicide was a very real option and the inevitable conclusion of this storyline.

and then, instead of a story about suicide, we got a story about rebirth

the biblical references have already been pointed out many times (Genesis 21/the birth of Isaac/21:21, baptism/the pool/the rain, the God costume, the Christmas concert/O Helga Natt/birth of Jesus) as well as the ultimate subversion of the R+J suicide (Isak turning away from the church altar rather than going toward it).

I think part of the reason why the O Helga Natt clip struck viewers so profoundly is that the show finally acted on this underlying thread that had caused us so much fear and dread day by day with every ominous comment about death or unanswered text message or shout-out to a sad movie. it finally and explicitly put the pieces together with that quick montage of Isak in the church where he realizes all the hints that had been haunting us for months, it finally got us to the place where we could acknowledge that yes, Even is depressed and suicide is a real possibility

and then it washed away our fears by rejecting this ending as inevitable or showing us the “epic” love story ending in tragedy. instead it showed two people who don’t die, but go back to the beginning (quite literally). we already have the “rebirth” of Isak in the pool, as he begins to accept this huge part of himself that he had denied and start moving toward a better, happier, more authentic version of himself. and now there is another. because of their unconditional love and acceptance, they get a chance to start again. a spiritual and personal rebirth.

Skam played me like a piano and I genuinely feel like a better, more hopeful person for it. thanks, Julie Andem

Social Media/General Comments

I was fucking distraught this week thinking about Even. I get so damn sad thinking about him and what he would have gone through this week. In real time we were all beside ourselves with Even’s absence. We were practically begging for any news of him. But of course Julie held out on us for maximum tension and despair.

Really, though ... my heart breaks thinking about how miserable he must have felt when he realized what had happened in the hotel, and how Isak told him to stop texting. I know Isak had it rough this week, but Even was going through a depressive episode and I don’t think he had the support network Isak did. He has his parents and Sonja, but Sonja was probably not someone he wanted on his side at that point, regardless of her intentions.

I already talked about the Isak and Eskild text post-hotel scene in the last reaction, but I’m going to say again: one of my favorite moments on the show. And while I’m not sure I’d call it a direct parallel to the end of this episode, it is notable that when Isak texts Eskild, Eskild too drops everything to rush to Isak’s aid, just like Isak ends up running to Even. Again, not that Isak isn’t a nice kid on his own, but I think Isak learns from the kindness and support he gets from others during this season so he can ultimately be there for Even.

There’s a Kollektivet text early in the week. They’re out of toilet paper. Why is it always toilet paper they’re out of? Didn’t Eskild win a year’s supply of toilet paper in S2? Is Isak hoarding it all for his bedside?

Linn gets unusually talkative in the text message, describing her previous heartbreak, so she’s clued in enough to know that Isak is going through some shit. She talks about at first she was depressed, but then comes the hate.

Isak says he will never hate Even. I love that line so much. At this point Isak thinks his relationship with Even was fake, that it was all a lie, a result of Even’s mania. And Isak isn’t angry with Even, I think. He doesn’t hate Even for it. He doesn’t blame him. It’s a mark of how much he loves Even and a sign that he understands that Even’s mental condition is not Even’s fault.

There’s a very short biology buddies text, as Isak skips another day of school and Sana prints his homework for him. She asks him if everything is ok - a nice little sign of concern - but he doesn’t reply. Awww. Isak, don’t cut yourself off again.

Isak has several significant texts with Magnus in the middle of the week that add to Magnus’ role as Evak cheerleader and bipolar expert.

Apparently Isak and Magnus both watch Westworld. Narcos, Stranger Things, Westworld … regardless of your opinions on those shows, those aren’t trash TV, those are pretty well-regarded series. I’ve mentioned it previously but I’m firmly against Isak’s taste in films and TV being super lowbrow.

Isak texted Magnus first, so Isak is learning that Magnus can help him and he should reach out to his friends for advice. Magnus asks about whether Isak has contacted Even, bless him. I bet that was helpful to Isak if it wasn’t sure how to broach the topic to Magnus.

Magnus doesn’t know a lot of specifics about Even’s condition (like how long he will be depressed) because of course everyone is different, people’s conditions vary based on stuff like whether they’re taking meds. Isak has a lot of questions like whether Even would be hospitalized. Magnus says he’s probably not and encourages Isak to just talk to him. He gives Isak some fake advice about not using words that start with ‘p’, but he’s just messing with Isak, probably because he can tell Isak has a million questions and is worried about the whole thing. And Magnus, of course, has a super chill attitude toward bipolar disorder, this wouldn’t faze him.

After that text, we get the clip where Isak talks to his dad, which is the day after the clip with Magnus explaining bipolar disorder, so Isak waited a day to call Even. I guess he was gathering his courage. (Or they just wanted to show Isak calling him and didn’t want two out of the week’s four clips to air on the same day). After that clip, Isak texts Magnus back, telling him Even hung up on him (did Even actually hang up or did he just not answer?)

Magnus advises Isak to text Even, which Isak does. The text is short, sweet, and polite. Isak says he hopes Even is well. The most important thing, I think, is that Isak tells Even to call him when he feels like it (so on Even’s own terms) and sends a heart emoji, which they’d exchanged before in their episode 8 text messages, when they were together and all lovey-dovey. So he’s letting Even know that he cares, he wants to hear from Even. A turnaround from the previous text to Even, which was “stop texting me.” But I think Even is so depressed though that this sweet text message can’t get through to him. He probably still focuses on that “stop texting me.” Maybe he’s afraid of what Isak will say. Or he just thinks Isak is better off without him, or he lacks the energy to talk to him.

There’s a fair amount of time between the first Magnus-Isak text and the clip, then to the second text with Magnus, then to the Even text. Especially that last one. I think Isak was really debating what to say and dealing with a lot of nerves (or you know, they wanted to stagger the updates a bit).

I love the Isak and Vilde texts from this week. Not that they’re great or happy to hear, but they’re important to the narrative.

Vilde drops in and is like, “Not to gossip but here’s some gossip.” She heard Even has psychological problems. Not content with just asking Isak whether he is gay, she’s got to get in on that craAAAaazy Even gossip train.

Why did she feel the need to tell Isak this? She said it’s because Isak has a relationship with Even, but … why? Is she that concerned about Even being a psycho? Is she that much of a busybody? Does it make her feel important to have this information and bestow it on Isak? Like … what is she expecting, Isak to go, “Gee, thanks Vilde, I didn’t know that and I’m so glad you told me!” (But I mean, him saying that sincerely, not in a sarcastic way.)

What does knowing her S4 home life say about her sharing this with Isak? Consider that Vilde has, similar to Isak (though she doesn’t know), a parent with mental health issues who seems to have problems with depression or alcoholism. Vilde would no doubt hate for people to go around talking about her secret problems (and it is shown to hurt her in S4) so why doesn’t she bestow the same courtesy to others? I think it is largely about wanting to be important in people’s minds and be in the know about the gossip.

Isak just wants to know where this rumor came from. Vilde says it was someone from Bakka who said Even snapped and wrote crazy stuff on the revue Facebook wall. So just like that, the pertinent parts of Even’s backstory slide into place. The odd details like Even transferring in his last year, repeating a grade, not having social media … this one bit of gossip puts those clues into perspective. I mean, if this was all we had gotten about his past, this would have been enough for me? Of course I would be hungry for more, but this says enough.

I like that this season never actually has a big moment where it’s like “and that’s why Even transferred!” It’s up to the viewers to put the pieces together. And it’s through a text that we get this final piece.

Vilde’s reason for sharing this information is confirmed for me when Isak is just like “OK” and she felt the need to reply, “I just thought you’d want to know,” as if she’s disappointed he didn’t have more of a reaction to her graciously telling him this bit of information. She wants to feel important for having the gossip. Isak is like, why would I need to know that? Vilde says she’d want to know. I’m sure she would, she’s concerned with appearances.

Isak shows a huge moment of maturity, by saying what if Vilde fucked up, would she want people to spread rumors about it a year later?(Another thing that makes me feel terrible for Even - he’s switched schools for a fresh start, but as we see, he can’t totally escape his past.) He tells her to grow up. It’s not very nice, but of course he’s not wrong.

Vilde gets defensive and says there’s no need for him to get mad, she was telling him as a friend. I wonder if Vilde was also sharing the gossip to get some points with her new Gay Best Friend. But I’m very proud of Isak here. Even’s past doesn’t bother him, and in fact he gets mad on behalf of Even. The Isak of early s3? He might have cared about what Vilde has to say. This gossip may have bothered him about Even. This current Isak, though, shows compassion and empathy for Even’s struggle and realizes Even is more than his mental illness.

Like some of this is the crux of Isak’s development - the way he defends Even here and says he won’t hate him in an earlier text, not judging him for his past. Isak doesn’t ask Vilde for more details, there’s no indication he’s disturbed by this information. In fact, it’s possible he’s just slotting into place moments from the past, like why he couldn’t find Even on social media and why Even is the same age as Sonja but she’s graduated and he hasn’t. If anything, I think this information just made him understand Even more rather than turning him off.

Then the next morning, Vilde sends him another text message apologizing and saying it was a jerk move, and Isak says it’s OK. I wonder if Vilde took in Isak’s words - that if she fucked up, would she want people spreading rumors a year later? Not just about her mom and home life, but about what happened with William in S1, if people were still talking about that a year later.

Additionally, probably for the best that she’s on Isak’s good side if she wanted to hook up with Magnus (not like this was a hard feat, though). I don’t think that was the main motivating factor for her apology, I think she sincerely regretted it, but I’m sure the Magnus factor helps.

There’s a late-night text with Jonas, so maybe Isak’s insomnia is back, although Jonas is up at that hour, too, so who knows. Jonas wants to know if Isak’s heard from Even, too, and tells Isak to go to him. Jonas, giving the good advice and supporting his BFF’s happiness as usual.

Isak says Even would have answered his call if he wanted to talk and that he’ll check in over the weekend. Which is both Isak respecting Even’s boundaries, perhaps, and Isak maybe being afraid of pushing things and Even rejecting him.

This time Isak’s “family” event is real! Can’t blame Jonas for his skepticism, though, or his joke about Isak raging against Mahdi.

As mentioned above, Isak’s mom texts him again about looking forward to seeing him in the church where he was baptized. It’s the last text from her of the season, in either social media or a clip, and it would have been nice perhaps to get another in the final week, but I’m fine with this as a sendoff. Isak and his mom aren’t 100% perfect now, but they can work on having a relationship. And of course, it’s a good lead up to the church text and the symbolism there.

As always, please let me know if I misunderstood something from a language or cultural perspective.

If you’re still reading these, thank you! Especially after the long break I took. I’m almost done with this season’s reactions and I’ve loved talking about it with people and hearing from you all ❤️

#skam reactions #skam season 3 #skam #isak valtersen #evak

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chevalierddonald · 3 years

Text

Live FA Cup on TV Fixtures UK

Fa cup games for today - England FA Cup Live Scores | Football

We preview some of the notable FA Cup matches this weekend. We preview everything you need to know about the 3 rd round including how and when you can watch the games. Regular subscribers can also stream matches via the BT Sport website or BT Sport app on a variety of devices including laptops, smartphones and tablets. Check out the Premier League fixtures for a full list of games coming up on TV next weekend. Our editorial is always independent learn more.

Stay on the ball Our Football newsletter: news, views and previews of this week's games on TV Fa cup games for today for signing up! Scrapping of replays at the 5th Round stage was schedule to be introduced in but was brought forward to just before Christmas All games, if level after 90 minutes will go into 30 extra time followed by penalties, if still level.

Just more cash for the networks,they should be gor all the cup games on regular tv. ESPN is a despicable group of knot-head suits. Forcing soccer fans to pay extra for the FA Cup Final is not only a stab in the back but to me an incredibly stupid decision. I cannot imagine that they can make more money for gamew pay-TV instead of offering it on their primary platform. The way you make money is to have more viewers. Remember, this is the same network that removed a football announcer whose last name is Lee from calling a game in the south during the confederate statue controversy.

In truth, announcer Lee is Chinese. For a true about his fan, tody English FA Cup is the biggest match of the year. You should be ashamed for not carrying it live for US fans if you have purchased the rights to it! Richard Smith, Portsmouth NH. I really like the Especially Stupid Production Network acronym.

NBC and Fox have done a great job televising world football. This guy will be watching the FA Cup Foor. The greedy creatures at ESPN can go and fornicate with themselves. At some a consumer says, enough is enough. I already pay these fa cup games for today creatures at ESPN monthly, not paying them a dime more. Why not the Fa cup games for today Cup Final? Facking Idiots. The big clubs generally field reserve players for cup games, and moving the semis to Wembley also helped diminish the importance of the Final.

Both the fa cup games for today are fun and exciting to watch.

The FA Cup Scores & Fixtures

Is the Watford v. Fa cup games for today making sure I understand. For example, 7 games will be televised in the UK this weekend. Who ever at the FA agreed to this needs to be drawn and quartered and thrown to the sharks. Not everyone on the planet has streaming access. Next time bid your deal to broadcast outlets only. Has the Arsenal v. The draw should be occurring as a type this. Forgive me. The draw occurs fa cup games for today in a few minutes.

Very confusing. Christopher Harris July 31, Kevin August 5, Fa cup games for today least for Serie A, Sunday afternoons seem to be in the clear. Peter August 13, Paul Turner August 15, Stephen wheeler September 20, Taylor Fa cup games for today 21, Joy D Ayres January 2, Christopher Harris January 2, Azer January 2, Jawz January 27, Frank January 5, Earl Hamil January 5, Jeff February 5, Bouley Bay January 5, I think is may fa cup games for today a typo in the article.

Ivan January 27, David the Yank February 5, FlatBackFour February 6, Christopher Harris February 6, Paul February 6, Kevin February 17, Azer February 18, Brian McCarthy February 20, Alex February 21, No more extra money for the greedy networks. David the Yank May 10, John Culea May 14, Richard Smith May 16, Christopher Harris May 16, Ivan May 17, Azer May 17, Isaac O May 17, Chelsea advanced from the fourth round of the FA Cup after it beat Hull City on Saturday, but Tottenham Hotspur could not get past Southampton, who equalised late to force a replay.

Here are the full results from the 3 p. Chelsea beat Hull in the late fixture. And they have a friendly match with my national team. I'm looking other to watch it! Hi dungtran, I am a Vietnamese too and love football too.

I hope V-league competition will be famous the same Premier League in the future. Becuase the first, The players Vietnamese will get high salary and there are foreign visitors to come our country, help tourism to develop.

I love football and i'm a good player. In algeria evry one play football and all of them are crazy football fans. I would like to hear your opinion No, I won't. I don't like football at all, but some of my friends like it and I'll recommend them to watch it, because it seems to be really good for football lovers. Every year Serbia organise Serbian Super Liga and it's a football competition.

Than we have Fa cup games for today Open-we organised that competition a few years before, and it was wrestling competition. I don't like wrestling at all, it's so rough sport. We also have a bicycle race, and it was last year, I think, and it was organised for invalids. And I'd like to mention the funniest competition-it's Trka na stiklama or The race on heels -for women only, and they have to run on high heels, and it's so funny to watch it.

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butteredonions · 7 years

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I used to write a lot when I was younger, and I really want to get into it again! Do you have any advice for improving/coming up with ideas/staying motivated?

Ohhh you do ask the good questions, dear anon…

This got quite wordy (surprise, it’s me!), so I’ve tucked it beneath a readmore. I really wanted to make a joke about “let me peel back the layers of how I write for you”, but that felt a little….self-indulgent :)

Some Onion Writing Tips - Below the Readmore!

Some of these are cliche, sure, but honestly they really do work. Probably the biggest piece of advice I have is to take all of this with a grain of salt. Everyone’s advice is different, and what works for me might not work out for you. Experiment around with different tricks and habits and processes. You’ll find something that works if you stick with it.

Onion Writing Tips On: Improving

Onion Writing Tip #1: Do the thing.

Honestly, at the base and simple level: at some point you have to just sit down and do it. Writing is a honed skill like anything else. You don’t get better at playing the piano by wishing; you have to put in a few hours on your scales at least. You have to practice. There’s kind of a misconception out there that writing is Easy and Anyone can do it; maybe, but the folks who put in more time and practice are going to bring something a little different to the table. Dedication helps - but honestly so does just doing the thing.

Onion Writing Tip #2: Carve out a space where you can let that happen.

I am lucky enough in my life right now to have a dedicated space and a time where I’m able to say “I’m writing”, and the folks around me know that’s my time. I try and keep it around the same time every day. For me it’s at stupid-o-clock in the morning. For you it might be different. This is my time to shut the door, put on some music, pick up the mug of coffee and get some work done. The habit, honestly, really helps.

Onion Writing Tip #3: Give your first draft permission to absolutely suck.

A big part of improving is not only finding the time to practice, but giving yourself permission to get it wrong. Again with the musical analogies, you can’t hear what you’re doing wrong unless you try to play the piece. See where your baseline is. In the same vein, my first drafts are almost always really bad. They’re riddled with typos, with [bracketed words I don’t want to stop to look up right now], with [new planet names] and [name this character Lisa] and [feelings] and repetition and filter words absolutely everywhere. That’s okay. Nobody sees my first draft. It’s the second draft I can go in and add the emotions, the better analogies, fix the pacing, etc. I can’t do that unless the words are on the page in the first place. I can’t do that, unless I’ve got the words at least out so I can see where the problems are. I can’t do that, unless I’ve given myself permission to have the first draft suck. Otherwise I’ll just sit here, paralyzed, stuck on wishing and not on writing.

This goes hand-in hand with tip #4:

Onion Writing Tip #4: Don’t stop to edit while you’re writing.

Don’t stop to edit while you’re writing.

You’ll get stuck on things you could fix, or things that aren’t working, and spend hours and hours fretting on how to fix them. Write your horrible first draft first, then fix it. Once the ideas are down on paper, however awful, however rough, you can fix them. You can’t fix the words if they’re still in your head.

Onion Writing Tip #5: Editing is not just for typos.

Editing is where I give myself permission to pick at exact word choice, or exact feeling or pacing. Have I used that same adjective already in the same paragraph? On the same page? Pick a different one. Are my filter words everywhere? Write them out. Searching for repetition is huge for me - not just with single words, but with ideas. Have I described clouds the same way in every single chapter? Maybe I should try a new angle. Do my characters always react the same way to a situation? Maybe I need to research some nonverbal body language a little more, or alter the situation so it’s less predictable to them and the reader. The rest…honestly, I trust my gut a whole lot on this. If it feels wrong to me, it’s going to feel wrong to the reader. If it’s not giving me a sucker-punch to the gut where I want it to, it’s not going to do that to the reader.

Onion Writing Tip #6: Retype.

On the second draft, and sometimes the third, I retype the entire first draft.

Every single time.

No exceptions.

This lets me do most of my editing as I go. It lets me find typos (and sometimes create new ones when I’m typing too fast); it lets me catch if I’ve used the same word, or if my paragraphs are all starting the same way - lots of things. Retyping it forces my brain to retravel the pathways I was on when I wrote the thing in the first place, and more often than not it absolutely helps me go deeper into character, setting - everything. For me this is the equivalent of speaking my writing out loud (to check for tone, flow, etc). I can’t recommend this method enough.

Does retyping the whole thing make a slower writer? Yes. Does all that editing make me a slower writer than some? Yes. But - like I said - grain of salt. This works for me. It doesn’t work for others. This is all about finding what works for you. Whatever helps you get the words out: do that. Get ‘em down. That’s really all that matters.

Onion’s Favorite Writing Tip, #7: Filter Words

Take them out. Take all of them out.

Filter words are anything you can fit a “to” in front of: to notice, to see, to feel, to think, to watch, to seem, to sound, to hear, to know. These slow down your writing by forcing a filter on your audience. We don’t need to know that “Hunk saw the grass was orange”. If Hunk’s the narrator, we the readers are fully aware we’re reading about what he’s observing. “The grass was orange” - that’s it. That’s all you need.

Sometimes you need to keep one, for character perspective or pacing. 95% of the time, honestly, you really don’t. I have a sticky note stuck at eye level with these filter words written on it. I have filter words in my first draft. I take them out when I edit.

Seriously.

The linked article explains it really well. I’m kind of passionate about this one, so feel free to ask if you have more questions. I could write a whole post.

Onion Writing Tips: On Coming Up With Ideas

This is probably one of the hardest things to put into words. Hopefully this helps a bit!

Onion Writing Tip #8: Don’t try to force yourself to come up with an idea.

My best ideas have come completely out of the stinking blue. If I’m stressing about it, the idea isn’t going to come. Never has. My ideas come to me when talking with friends; when I’m supposed to be sleeping; when I’m driving or in the shower. When I’m outside, or sometimes even doing something mundane at work like cleaning. I can’t predict when these ideas are going to happen. All I can really do is stay open to the knowledge that, at some point, they’re going to. And I’m ready to roll with them at least a little ways and see where they go.

Onion Writing Tip #9: Write everything down.

Everything. Once you have something in your head you really like, don’t take the chance it will be around later and you’ll remember it; if you’ve got it, write it down. Smartphones make it really easy these days to tap out a quick phrase of dialogue, or an image, whatever. Even if you never use it, it’s written down now and sometimes that can free your brain to keep thinking (rather than stress about having to retain it). No matter how small or how silly, keep track of it. Even if you don’t end up rolling with it just then, those ideas can form an Idea Bank you can pull from later on when you’re struggling or just want to write a little thing.

Onion Writing Tip #10: Talk about things you enjoy with other people who enjoy them, too!

At least 85% of my ideas come from talking with friends. We’ll be chatting about fandom or about characters - someone says ‘hey have you thought about this’ - and next thing you know the idea’s way more fleshed out than it was just by myself. Writing doesn’t have to be a solitary thing. It’s okay to reach out to others for a bit of inspiration.

Onion Writing Tip #11: Seriously, don’t sweat it.

You’ll know when you have a Good One. Something will feel different about that idea compared to others. Something about it won’t let you go. That’s the one you’re meant to write. That’s the story only you can tell. Trust me.

That’s not to say you need to Wait for the Good One before you can write. On the contrary - start somewhere! Try some little writing exercises to get the juices going. A quick google search will give you so many out there to choose from. Open your askbox for prompts - either generic, or pick from a prompt list. You might be surprised with what you get, and you very well might surprise yourself with where you go.

Onion Writing Tips: On Motivation

Onion Writing Tip #12: Find A Group Or A Friend To Write With

I can’t stress enough how vital this has been to my writing. Writing can be a super solitary field; you spend a lot of hours staring at a laptop or a notebook, working hard, by yourself. No one else can do your writing for you, right? The best thing you can do though is find other people doing their own writing too - and write together. My little writing group (the Thinktank!) has been so amazing for me in terms of staying on task and staying motivated. Usually every night one or another of us pops into chat and says “writes?” - and then whoever’s around sets a timer for 20 minutes and does the writing. Together. We compare word counts when we’re done, like it’s a little competition. If nothing else it keeps me working; most of the time it propels me to keep writing after that 20 minutes, too. It’s just about getting started. (And also it’s fun to have a great group of people helping each other stay semi-accountable with our projects. Support!)

Onion Writing Tip #13: ….deadlines

Set them. Stick to them. Try not to wait until the last minute for them, but honestly? sometimes that’s what you need. My very first longfic I told myself I had to finish by the time the school year was over. Another longfic came out of joining a Big Bang and sticking to that calendar. I’m scrambling now to get Smol Shiro done before season three (OR ELSE, good Lord). Weeks? Exchanges? This fandom is crazy blessed unique in that there are so. many. options for deadlines, framed in fun and engaging environments. If you can’t set one for yourself, try joining a group that’s already got one! A deadline can also be as simple as - oh hey season three is coming in a month, I really need this fic to be done before then. Or, I’m starting school mid-August, I need the serious writing to be done by that time. Whatever is in your life that you can hold yourself to for a writing deadline: do it.

Onion Writing Tip #14: Persevere

It is worth it.

Writing is hard work. It’s hard work more often than not. It’s frustrating, it’s upsetting, and sometimes there’s really nothing stopping you from giving up. when the words aren’t coming. when the ideas feel dumb. when you feel stranded and alone about something that used to excite you - something that isn’t working now. Sometimes it just feels like it would be easier to give up and let someone else write this story.

Here’s the thing.

No one else will.

Not the way you see it in your head. Not the way it grips at your chest. This story in your head won’t touch anyone else the way it touches you unless you write it.

The work is worth it.

You don’t have to show your work to anyone unless you want to. But sometimes - and my last piece of advice - sharing your work with people can be the biggest, stupidest, giddiest motivator for continuing to create art that exists on this silly little planet.

It’s also single-handedly the most daunting thing about writing - but it too is so, so worth it.

Share your work, when it’s ready. Draft it. Edit it. Get it out there. And keep going! It’s hard work, but if the story’s meant to be there - it’ll come.

#the onion and the anon #the onion answers #writing #this is probably 50x more than you anticipated #I hope some of it is at least a little useful :)#happy writing dear anon!#hit me up if you have questions about filter words #they're my favorite

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zeinabalmelli · 7 years

Text

Translation of SKAM article

Hey everyone! There were a few who wanted to read this article about SKAM so I’ve translated the whole article. I’m sorry for typos or weird sentences (there were some that were hard to translate) but I hope it can help anyways. You may also want to have the article beside you while reading since there are many gifs and chats you need to see to understand it:)

http://p3.no/minneord-skam/#skam

Dear SKAM-fans, this speech is for you

We have cried and we have laughed. SKAM has brought us together and this is our obituary

It is blue Monday and we are starting to realize: the days where you update the SKAM-page every 10 minutes are over. That SKAM-tab that you never close, can now be crossed out.

A fairytale is over, and it is almost impossible to describe how we feel. Fortunately, pictures can say more than a thousand words, and therefore we are choosing to express ourselves through memes and gifs - free tips from us to you who will be holding a wedding or birthday speech in the future.

Season 1

WOW (emoji)

The first meeting between Noora and William, aka Wilhelm, didn’t go unnoticed. After William insulted her friend, she told the schools biggest fuckboy where the closet stands (a proverb). High five to girls who dare to stand up and tell a guy off.

*Gif of Noora*

LOL (emoji)

Let’s put some time aside for some of the most comedic moments from season 1: Sana and Chris who are causing through the school yard on hover boards. Sana has so much control over that hover board! Before it began to ‘collapse’ for Sana in season 4, Sana had control over everything.

*Gif of Sana and Chris*

Aww (emoji)

Holy Father, Eva and Jonas were so good together! Jonas is and will always be the guy, meanwhile Eva never was the same when that relationship ended, and she started to drink/get drunk at every party. But enough about that. The scene that goes from madness to cuteness in the middle of traffic is fine/cute. Shall we break up? Shall we be together? Couldn’t they just have stayed together forever?

*Gif of Jonas and Eva*

WTF (emoji)

Bad at scoring/checking out? Don’t worry about it, Chris will show you how it’s done… First: do not leave any doubt. have you heard that you have to make eye contact, thereafter look bashfully at the floor and then look up again? Forget it. Here are to words that count: stare and suck. So make sure to have something appropriate to put in your mouth, like a spoon or love on sticks or ice-cream. You can eventually go for Sana’s favorite tool: carrot.

*Gif of Chris*

Oh run (emoji)

Eva has made out with guy-Chris and his girlfriend found out. Not good. Sana’s look/expression scream “Oh run” when Iben’s gang comes after Eva and right after Eva got a “slap” in the face. Conclusion: don’t fight. But if you absolutely must, go with Sana - she has control over her nerves.

*Gif of Sana + Eva getting hit by Iben*

Never forget (emoji)

This scene is SKAM. This is the gang on their way to party - and they look awesome”. Put your hands up if you’ve NEVER blasted “Dick in the Air” on your phone while walking in slow motion a summer day? Nobody? Exactly. I rest my case.

*Gif of the girls squad walking in slow motion*

Sobbing (emoji)

“If I see you now I will say things that I’ll regret later so I’m suggesting that I’ll call you when I’m ready to hear your explanation on why you have chosen to fuck up everything between us”…When you don’t even bother to use any kind of punctuation you’re angry. The text is bad. I am sobbing more than Eva over this text. And we have to take the transition to the next clip, with Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek”. The scene is a little sad and empty just like Eva is feeling.

*Gif of Eva getting the text from Jonas*

Best message (emoji)

This post if FUNNY! What (Eva thought) would be a romantic cabin trip, turned out to be a dramatic day at Hotel Cæsar. Guys used their time on smoking in hiding, while Eva used her time on trying to read Jonas’ texts. Isak does not wait long before he makes a joke out of it all.

“Picture of a chat between Isak, Jonas and Eva”

Season 2

WOW (emoji)

If there is something Noora can, it is putting the Magnusson guys in their place. In the first season she went after Willian, and now it is the big brothers turn. That slue snake didn’t know where to look when Noora came after him with all the different laws for child pornography, threats and coercion - yes, and the alcohol law on top of it all. One more time - hat off (bow down)

*Gif of Noora*

LOL (emoji)

You know when fish cakes are life, but someone else ate them? Me neither. But it was such that Noora has to eat two fish cakes at five, and it is extremely annoying when Eskild, the stealer, eats them. Even though it is bad to admit the situation is pretty recognizable. Who hasn’t gotten home after an extremely bad day, and a trifle makes you totally lose it? The looks from Linn completes this scene.

*Gif of Noora, Eskild and Linn*

Aww (emoji)

There are more “aww-moments” in this season, like when Noora plays guitar and sings for William, or when she is running after him after the party, and they finally get their first kiss. But the sweetest moment has to be when they had the talk. Noora who has just “I was afraid that you just went around and thought that we were together or something” and William who was just like “We are together though” while Noora was like “No!” and William “Yes, we are”. DOT/DONE. Young love!

*Gif of Noora and William*

WTF (emoji)

Monday 29th of February at 4.35 pm is one of the SKAM-history moments that are hard to forget: we are introduced to Eskild. Or more correctly: we are introduced to both Linn and Eskild - two fantastic people who Noora lives with in Kollektivet. Linn is laying in fetal position in the bed in a dark sleeping room, while our first meeting with Eskild is a little less innocent. When Noora opens the door to his room we skim that he’s… very well treated by another guy to “Circle of Life” from The Lion King. Our biggest wish now is a spin-off-series from Kollektivet with Eskild and Linn as the main characters. Please!

*Gif of Noora walking in on Eskild*

Oh run (emoji)

Sana’s revenge was not a good idea since it wasn’t Camilla and the gang who created the hate account. When the hijab-police came walking towards the gang in the school yard, there is only one thing to do - as Sana said herself: “Honestly - run! RUN!”

*Gif of The girls running*

Never forget (emoji)

William getting out of his nice car in slow motion here. The clip being slow motion is so effective, and the guys look så cool - these are the bad boys with a big “b”. In the clip Kanye West is appropriately sining “I need a slow motion video right now!, and now i feel like we need a gif in slow motion - here you go:

*Gid of William getting out of his car*

Sobbing (emoji)

Seeing Noora run across the school yard after William when he thinks that she slept with his brother Nico is heartbreaking. “I just trust myself. I’ve learned that no one is really there when you need help”, is Feiten from Kolboten singing, and the tones makes the scene even more sad. Noora throws herself over William who is just removing her from him and leaves her alone on the ground. Fortunately, the girls came running towards her.

*Gif of Noora running after William*

Best text (emoji)

Here we could’ve chosen all the texts from Eskild, but we are only choosing one. Since we are already trying to make a spin-off-series from Kollektivet happen, we have to choose this chat between Eskild and Noora which shows how good this spin-off-series could be.

*Picture of the chat between Eskild and Noora*

Season 3

WOW (emoji)

Goosebumps alarm when Nils Bech sings “O Helga Natt” in the church! The music amplifies the nervous atmosphere in which Isak receives a sensitive text from Even.

*Gif of Isak receiving a text from Even*

The moment Isak gets up from the church bench almost gets me to jump from the chair. “What happens now?” “Is it going well Even????”. Fortunately, the neck-breaking seance ends well. <3

*Gif of Isak and Even*

LOL (emoji)

Who would’ve thought that Magnus would twitch at this extremely direct and rare pickup line? Not bad though!

*Gif of Magnus and Vilde*

But nothing is better than these two rare people getting together. It is totally obvious that these two are meant to be.

*Gif of Magnus and Vilde*

Aww (emoji)

You know that feeling of being in love where time stops and everything stops existing?

The scene with Isak and Even the day after they found each other gives me this nice, new lovers kind of feeling. Now it is you two - and nothing can stand between you. Love has Provisionals. <3

*Gif of Isak and Even*

WTF (emoji)

What is going on with Even and paper? I don’t think I was the only one who raised raised her/his eyebrows when he emptied the dispenser on the wall from paper. If it was a bad score tip or him just being weird is unknown. But one thing is for sure: it works on Isak!

*Gif of Isak and Even*

Oh run (emoji)

Isak is having a bad time because he 1. is in love with Even and 2. hasn’t been able to tell his friends that he is queer. When he finally has the courage to come out, Jonas is the first one to know. The way Jonas reacts just shows how nice he is. Me <3 Jonas even more after this

*Gif of Jonas and Isak*

Never forget (emoji)

The excitement of Even and Isak is there. On the sofa, with a girl, they both throw glances at each other. But just wait till they want to be with each other. As good as the jubilee stands in the ceiling they run away from the party, just the two of them. It gets even better when they get/share their first kiss… and it’s even under water!

*Gif of Isak and Even kissing*

Sobbing (emoji)

Talk about driving my feelings up and down a gigantic mountain. In byrjinga it is just Isak + Even = *heart eyes emojis* and everything is good. But suddenly Even starts to act weird without Isak knowing why. Even just disappears from the hotel room. He just has to go out and buy food, without any clothing. Isak is stressed and scared that Even just disappeared out of the door and on the same night it came out that Even is bipolar. The moment Isak is told that he is bipolar is so extremely sad/hard. Especially since Sonja tells him that his feelings towards Even aren’t real. Stupid Sonja!

*Gif of Isak and Sonja*

Best text (emoji)

So. Linn. Is. The. Best. She is extremely weird, pessimistic and funny in all the clips she is in. And in this chat from Kollektivet she proves once again how good it is to have her in our lives. Everyone needs a Linn in their life. <3

*Picture of a chat*

Season 4

WOW (emoji)

No one that the love story between William and Noora was going to end the way it did. No one was ready for William to return the moment he did either. It was mildly said a shock to see his car roll up in the drive way at Chris’. But it was good to see the return with a slow motion filming of William! For me he has now become the defintion of slow motion.

*Gif of William, Noora and Sana*

LOL (emoji)

It is so fun to watch the girls flip out when they discover a room full of slightly dressed/clothed guys. But again it is good to not flip out here. The very, very best thing is the return of Chris and her spoon (which many may remember from the first season where she had a little crush on Isak)

*Gif of the girl squad checking out balloon squad*

Aww (emoji)

When Sana finally gets confirmed that Yousef is in love with her - and not Noora. Oooh, it is so good/cute. It is like the lump you had stuck in your stomach just disappeared with one wink. It got replaced with love butterflies.

*Gif of Sana looking at Yousef’s texts to Noora*

And the glances they both share right after are just amazing

*Gif of Sana and Yousef*

A little bonus here that everyone has been waiting for since season 1 FINALLY happened. Eva and jonas getting back together. <3

*Gif of Jonas and Eva*

WTF (emoji)

But the moment before Eva and Jonas get back together is the weirdest moment. Guy-Chris and Emma fall in love at first sight?! Have they not met each other before? This is with no doubt one of the moments that are written in SKAM-history.

*Gif of guy-Chris and Emma*

But what is even more of a WTF moment is when Linn shows off her wild side (?) who no one thought she had. Linn. <3

*Gif of Vilde and Linn*

Oh run (emoji)

Sana: we have to get that bus

Noora: But we don’t have the money!!

Sana: I’ll fix it.

It can seem like everything totally blew up when Sana decided to buy a buss for over 200.000 kr. It also did - but it doesn’t get any less fun to watch for that reason. Go Sana!

*Gif of the girl Squad*

Never forget (emoji)

This clip made me laugh! Sana has done enough of things she is regretting and now she thinks that the girl squad have turned their backs on her. It turns out she was totally wrong. She has the best friends in the world. <3

*Gif of the girls turning up in the van*

Sobbing (emoji)

Love hurts like they say. And here it really hurts for Sana. Imagine finding your best friend on the dance floor making out with the guy you’re in love with… Ouch.

*Gif of Noora and Yousef making out in front of Sana*

Best text (emoji)

Even though the main product of the series are the clips, the chats are also a huge part of the series. It makes the characters even more real for us. The characters on the show follow Pradise Hotel (a reality show), therefore it is so good that this reality show has SKAM-wicked.

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