#and now I feel worse bc I just can’t do it and I don’t know WHY.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!! #but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me. #and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just— #sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

[quillyfied]

I know where I want the fic to go. I have the vibe. I have the beats. I have the outline.

Why have I just been staring at it for the past two hours, completely unable to write it

#writing paralysis. this is a new one. #I want to write!! I have the idea!!! #I just can’t seem to brave the act of putting fingers to the keys and letting go!!!! #NOBODY EVEN SAID ANYTHING BAD OR NEGATIVE OR HARSH BUT FAIR ABOUT MY WRITING #WHY IS THIS SO HARD RIGHT NOW #and now I feel worse bc I just can’t do it and I don’t know WHY.

[whoblewboobear]

Knowing that I have to go home after an 8-hour shift at the job I hate to force myself to deep clean the depression nest my room has become while neck deep in the same depressive episode for the past 3 months on top of chronic pain makes me wanna scream like can I just smoke weed and sleep on the couch instead pls?

#tw mental health #personal #idk how to tag this #I’m doin BAD #like- I think I’ve run into that gifted kid thing where it’s like yeah I was told I was good at this and then growing up and realizing I #never developed the skill beyond childhood but instead of gifted kid syndrome it’s high functioning depression #like I hit my 20s and I can’t high function my way through this shit anymore #I don’t know how and that makes it worse bc I’m looking back on teen me who could pretend for days and power through #now I’m just- a depressive episode hits and I just.. everything stops y’know? #im so tired and overwhelmed and I just don’t know where to start to even dig myself out of it #I’m self soothing to the point of it being harmful #if I don’t think about how bad it is and instead focus on whatever interest it feels better #my therapist has been out sick for almost 2 months now and I’m worried about her but we work so well together that I don’t wanna find #someone new and start all over again #I just.. #I tried telling my family I’m struggling and my mom told me to pray about it so it’s like okay I’m just alone to deal with this like I #always do but I’m just.. I’m not doing well enough to be able to handle this on my own and no one is listening when I say that #I’m not going to do anything but I can’t pretend the s*ic*d*l thought aren’t at the front of my mind #every single problem I have would disappear for me if I wasn’t here and that’s bitter sweet because I want to see this life through #depression #mental health #struggling with depression #major depressive disorder

[pepprs]

i know i need to shut up abt it esp bc i don’t know for sure if i actually got exposed to covid but like. it’s just so fucking frustrating and terrifying. not just in the case of covid but with other things too like driving. you can take every precaution to keep yourself and the people around you safe but all it takes is one selfish careless asshole who can negate that in a heartbeat and ruin your life or maybe even end it in some circumstances. lol

#purrs #ask to tag #complete and utter despair about it all. i feel like such a freak for telling everyone to be safe and be careful all the time but this world #is so fucking scary and we are so fucking helpless. how can i not cast out this desperate fucking plea. this prayer. that harm will not #befall you even if it’s something as small as a drive to the store or a trip to a new place. i just live in fear of the people i love #getting hurt all the time and of myself getting hurt. and covid is fucking scary because we still don’t fuckng know how bad it is really or #what it can do to you in the long term and there’s no way to know if you have it until you find out you have it bc this fucking nightmare #country gutted all the covid infrastructure so it’s like. it’s just really bad. im so scared. ive been so proud of myself lately bc i feel l #like even though im still not doing great ive been less miserable and anxious like a couple months ago i was having breakdowns almost daily #and i feel like ive been getting better and this just has thrown me so bad. there are other things going on too ofc so i know im reacting #really strong but like. throwback to all the asks i just answered where anons were like idk how you even function witb the amount of anxiety #you carry with you all the time and i was reading that like but not anymore! and it turns out… no it’s still there. it just was summer and #i interacted with fewer people and went almost nowhere. and now the semester is starting again and everything is changing and it’s just. bad #also addendum to the first part of my tags: i wish i was brave enough to ask ppl to like. text me when they get to their destination safe or #whatever. i almost never think of it bc it just seems like such a forward boundary crossing thing to do + it was a bad habit from when my #separation anxiety was MUCH worse as a kid. but like… i want o do it and sometimes i need to but i repress it so hard. lawl #also to say i love you sometimes. some ppl it’s really easy and we do it all the time. others i can’t bc it crosses boundaries and it #physically hurts not to. lolll

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[pallases]

ourgejjg

#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the #lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭 #best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad #personal #also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim #to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn #it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight #instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for #easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte #and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT #promising and. AAAAA #also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my #free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️ #the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles #i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal… #oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well #what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3 #OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat #it hereeee #soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that #idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and #stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn #ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

so i had a couple ocs as a kid (made for a story that i never wrote a lot for) and i haven’t drawn any of them since i was like. 14. so it’s been a hot minute but anyway i realized the other day that out of the 5 main cast i have gotten 3 of their haircuts. i remember vaguely thinking that one character always seemed to have the haircut i wanted and i had that haircut for years but recently i got rid of that haircut and had another one’s haircut then i changed it a bit and dyed it and now i have another one’s. so i’m like man 12 year old me had great taste in haircuts. i should go down the list and do them all

#sometimes i think i should redraw the characters but then i’d want to redevelop their story bc it’s not to my taste atm and that’s a #lot of effort but i might do it anyway who knows #but i’d have to open my box that deals psychic damage (the sketchbooks in there are so soaked with alcohol that opening the box #makes me nauseous lmao) for refs. hmmmm. i dunno #the characters don’t really speak to me anymore their whole dynamics and designs aren’t to my taste i’d have to *really* re-do #everything but hm. maybe #though perhaps i should just start from scratch. i wouldn’t mind having ocs again. idk #also on unrelated news i have purchases 4lbs of baking soda to mix with my acrylic paints i want to see what kinda texture i can #get out of it because i! am! in! the! mood! to! paint! #but unforch i have to sleep? taking away my valuable painting time? ridiculous but i think i’m going to legit pass out at some point #i’ve been getting real tired of sleeping #well. i love sleeping but i feel like it’s wasting all my time because i always seem to sleep 10-16 hours a night which is ridiculous #that’s so much time i’m wasting i have shit to do man so i’ve been staying up 24-34ish hours once every week or so to make up for lost #time but still i feel like i am making this all worse because now i can’t even fall asleep + it’s been messing w my mood but i don’t #know how to fix it #anyway that was way off topic goodnight i think i’m going to bed now bye

[alexa-crowe]

.

#probably have to change meds 🙃 #idk i think i’m just a pessimist bc i always just assume that trying another med is a dead end #and that the side effects will probably be worse than whatever i’m experiencing now #but i’m also such a terrible judge of these things bc i’ve spent my whole life suffering bc of incurable disabilities #hard to stay hopeful with all that #just a month ago i was trying to address my anxiety :( #and my gastritis wasn’t an issue #and my other things weren’t issues #now my anxiety is at an all time high i have a bunch of side effects from the epilepsy meds #and i think my gastritis is flaring up #like god i can’t keep doing this i feel!!!! i keep trying to hope for better and dreaming of better #but i hate this suffering and i feel like no one has confidence that i can achieve my dreams #i love my parents and they love me but i don’t think they really think i can do it. be successful as a screenwriter #and i know that it’s the mood swings but how many times can i watch my life is murder how many times. #how long will popping on an episode every time i get anxious work? how long until i get better #rambling #anyways. sigh. life sucks rn for me what’s new

[milo-is-rambling]

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with #no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to #ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and #then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there #like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day) #(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this #inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m #normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans #are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of #getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and #I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage #where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not #like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my #friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the #only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so #long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy #forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s #what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is #destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)

[kazoologist]

I actually really fucking hate how anything in my schedule not going the way I initially Intended For It To just automatically makes me a massive fucking crybaby and or a raging bitch. Like dude. The grocery store does not hate me. It sucks that my schedule requires me to get there an hour earlier no matter what but like. They didn’t do that to me. Why am I always so upset whenever I have to change plans. I change plans too! I’m a living person!!! Why am I so fucking upset about this!!!!!!

#personal #im gonna delete this later I’m just venting #I’m also fine I’m just having a rough day and I can’t figure out why my emotions have been so fucking volatile. It’s so frustrating that #I can’t figure out how to get a handle on my emotions. I know I need to feel things but the problem is if I let myself feel them too much #Then I’m going to spiral or lash out at some random bystander and both of these make the initial feeling worse #I just can’t pull myself out of that quickly enough recently. It’s not an issue of ability bc I can. I just can’t do it. #wait that’s contradictory. I’ve been really struggling too recently. There we go. There’s accuracy. #Either way. Didn’t I spend all year in therapy last year trying to get this shit together? What the fuck. #Why is it the second I show a modicum of progress I immediately hit a single pebble on the road and get sent ass over teakettle #Progress isn’t linear but it also sure as hell isn’t meant to be a time loop. That I’m pretty sure of. #God everything’s just been so difficult this year. Shit that used to be almost instinctual to me now is a nightmare. #Maybe it’s growing pains and I guess that’s valid but how long do I have to have them #The good news is that thus far I have not snapped at anyone so at least right now we don’t have any casualties of my bad attitude #I feel so bad being so worried about that but like seriously no one needs me to be snapping at them. Even if I feel catharsis in the moment #We all feel bad immediately afterwards #It’s literally not even been a bad day today. I cannot emphasize how this has been the only problem today. Literally so much good happened #Ugh #dont look at me

[ilostyou]

.

#okay. ranting #i just wish there were a way to describe the violent like. #body dysmorphia that i’m feeling without sounding completely ?? insane to people who like. don’t get it? #it’s just like. objectively i should know that i look good bc it’s what people are saying lol and while i do appreciate it all #it’s just like. there’s a violent weird dissonance where i’m looking in the mirror and i’m just like 🧍🏻‍♀️ who tf is that bc it’s not me? #objectively on a fucking graphing calculator i know it is but also i’m sooo. like. disconnected from it #which sounds awful and terrible lol it’s probably just me being dramatic but also i feel. weird #i don’t like how i look even if other people do and objectively i know i should feel like i look good but i don’t <3 i feel. off #and truly idk what it is bc it can’t possibly just be the fact that i don’t like this makeup on me LMFAO #like i really did at first and then i started looking at it and almost cried. why? idk #maaaany thoughts none of which make sense but it’s fine #i’m fine and will hopefully uh drink some tonight which. if nothing else will turn my brain off! <3 #this sounds even worse now lmfaooo it’s just. fine <3 #tw body dysmorphia #tw body talk #this has been a rant

[liesyousoldme]

.

#i’m so. i don’t know. i keep opening tumblr and scrolling my dash and i KNOW it’s a literal symptom of my ocd #and that i should use my coping mechanisms to stop bc i’m too invested #but also my body is fucking me all the way up right now. #chemo puts me into menopause and when i get off my body restarts my period #and the hormones make me fucking insane and that’s where so much of the depression is coming from rn #but i can’t tell if it’s JUST that or if my feelings about this fandom are valid and i need to step away #essentially i feel ignored and invisible and like. honestly i feel like i don’t belong here #and yes that has to do with a certain group of bloggers in this fandom that are exclusionary toward everyone outside their circle but also #i have that stupid lonely high school feeling in this fandom like my friends are really just acquaintances and i’m always just to the left #and that feeling has always existed for me here but it’s so much worse right now which is why i think oh it’s hormones. i just need #to step back until i’m feeling better. but then i can’t stop fucking scrolling and checking my empty notifications #anyway i don’t even know why im saying any of this. i can’t exactly talk about it in real life so #i needed it off my chest i guess. #cancer post #maybe i just need to delete the fucking app altogether

[ddaengju]

.

#i hate being hungry. i used to not care too much because i could just eat whenever i wanted and eat until i was full #but now? now i can barely finish a full apple or a small cup of oatmeal #i had a single grilled cheese sandwich on sunday and like half a bowl of cereal #i ate like half my bowl of mac n cheese and some juice #i thought i was doing well. i had half of my subway sandwich #but when i got home i started feeling worse and couldn’t even eat dinner. #being hungry makes me so hungry that it makes me sick #i can’t eat because i feel sick. i feel sick because i haven’t eaten #when will i know peace? #when will this cycle fucking end? why is this happening to me? #i’m gonna get chicken noodle soup for lunch! #that’s the only thing i’m ever able to eat when i’m like this #why does my body take hunger to the extreme these days? i feel like i can’t go a full week without feeling like shit #tw disordered eating #i don’t have an eating disorder but the way i described my issue right now sounds like it #i don’t want people to think i’m faking an ed or that i want to be this way #i’m just not healthy right now and i can’t go to the doc bc i don’t have insurance. #i also don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable so i’m tagging it

[flutterby5]

.

#some days are so hard like I am very not okay a lot of the time these days but rn I’m actually okayish so I can’t put it into words #but like basically I’ve been have trouble sleeping recently and it’s only gotten worse…to the point where I’ve been waking up every single #night and it’s so hard to get my brain to be sleepy again and go back to sleep #and it’s ruining my life like being exhausted makes life sososo hard I’m miserable and everyone around me is laughing and lighthearted and #I just wallow in my own misery…like when I’m okay I’m okay but when I’m not I question everything #I should really just quit my job and focus on dealing with this chronic insomnia I have now but I’ve been trying different things and #nothing has stuck..part of me probably isn’t trying hard enough but how can I with a full time #job and the need to feed myself and chores and getting my mind of everything and trying to workout more like?? #that’s why I need to quit but I am hesistant to move home like I don’t have to but still then I wouldn’t need to pay for rent yknow but I #I also kind of don’t want to move home bc it’s quite nice not to and for covid reasons bc I’m like the only one I know that still cares #about covid lmaooo but like there are definitely pros too like I’m glad I still have the option tbh #but I wish I could just sleep and didn’t have to fight my own brain every single night why can’t I just be normal like I know no one is #normal but also why does everyone else do such a good job hiding it while I just feel like I’m just bringing the mood down by struggling so #much..like also my dept so small rn and I actually do lie my coworkers they really already take a lot of weight comparatively and are #reliable that I feel bad idkkkk why can’t I just sleep like seriously. wtaf is wrong with me #random thoughts don’t mind me #I’m so fucking tired

[pepprs]

i like uh. literally cannot believe what is happening is still happening btw.pain and suffering (update omg i hit tag limit CRINGE but i think i was done anyway lol)

#purrs #ive felt sort of beholden to keeping it quiet on here bc i felt bad since it was still kinda a secret irl. but i think the word is #traveling fast irl so im giving myself permission to talk about it with my dearest belovedest mutuals some of whom are irl friends i have #ghosted for the last week and a half despite initially trying to set something up bc i have been so miserable over it that i can’t function #and for that i apologize and i swear to god i will get it together eventually. but ok. the thing that happened is that. lol i am crying #typing it bc how do i even say it. my supervisor who is also my mentor who is also dare i say my friend who is also my close colleague who i #is also the reason i even got to the place im in to begin with in so many ways… got a new job. and didn’t tell us she did and dropped it on #us last week. literally a week after i started my new job and i was so so so looking forward to getting to work closely with her in this new #way at last and um. that is not happening anymore. and it could be so much worse like thank GOD she didn’t *** or whatever which is #something i worry about literally constantly. but this hurts. it’s devastating and i feel betrayed even though im so happy for her and she d #deserves it so much. and im so fucking sad and do fucking scared bc there’s literally 3 of us now and we have to NOT PANIC and act like we #are processing this totally fine or else we will face Consequences which are the same reasons she’s leaving probably. lol. idk. it’s very #cringe to post about it and not vague and i know it’s like weird to be close to work and to your colleagues and whatever but it has never #been just work and it’s like. how can this person come into my life and utterly transform it and we go on this journey together and we JUST #reached this beautiful glorious pinnacle but then you leave?? and who knows how long she was planning to do this. lol. and despite how s #much i care abt her im the least close to her personally out of everyone on the team so i am suffering and withering and exploding and #sobbing and howling and barking and i want to talk to her so bad and tell her how much she means to me and that it is physically painful to #think about doing this without her bc she was supposed to like. help me and stuff bc she went thru baiscally the same path im on lol and we #have a lot in common in terms of identity / life situation and i was like ummmmm hi can you teach me how to be a fuller version of myself. #and this ks like such a wake up call that no *i* need to teach me that and no one can. but i don’t want that to mean losing her and im so #scared that she won’t be in my life anymore and i am going to miss her so much. im going to miss every little thing and it’s killing me and #i can’t stop crying about it and it feels like a fucked up nightmare and everything is different now and im temporarily secon in command who #which is like wtf no that’s YOU. come back. how could you leave. but she needed to i guess and i just didn’t know how bad. but it hurts ummm #lol. and if she knew how hard ive been losing my shit i think she would be angry and sad and like surprised bc i think she thinks im #normaler than i am now but it’s like god. there was so much to look forward to and i was already feeling weird about the future and now it’s #like the little parts of it i at least knew i could count on are totally gone because she’s leaving us for fucking ****** of all places LMAO #delete later #i know it’s like weird to vent abt irl stuff / ppl so candidly i know what it suggests about me but this is like my best possible coping #mechanism rn i guess or at least it feels the best bc ppl like the posts and you don’t even have to say anything it just lets me know that #like. im not insane for it iwguess. even though iwreally feel like it. idk. i just am going to miss her so much. i wish i could stop crying

[stop-saying-tootsie]

*vent in tags, mentions of homophobia*

#i’ll probably delete this later but #just found out my parents have been talking to my younger siblings abt how being gay is wrong #and how you can’t believe in jesus and also accept gay people #an hour and a half w my sister bc she kept arguing god bless her #im so lost guys i don’t know what to do anymore #they’re doing all this behind my back and i wouldn’t know except my sister #they did the same w my brother #they’re 16 and 14. #i don’t get it #im genuinely just so lost and hurt now #i came out to make myself feel better #and all it’s done is get progressively worse #should’ve never said a thing #anyways