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sam-glade · 8 months

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Ctrl+F'ing the Document

Part 2/3 of my editing process. Part 1 link.

This is what I do to a novel or a novella before showing it to anyone (including beta readers). I’m posting it in hopes that it will help someone, and I’m not expecting it to work for everyone. Take any parts that help you!

The goal of this step is to reduce word count by removing redundant and filtering words, and make the text more crisp and direct.

Two things up front:

‘Imperfect’ doesn’t mean ‘bad’. Good writing can have imperfections.

The goal is to get the manuscript to a stage where the imperfections won’t be distracting to beta readers.

Remove filtering and padding words

(With examples from my current editing pass of Gifts of Fate)

Search the manuscript – literally, with ctrl+F – for the following words. Try to remove especially those outside of dialogue. I allow more padding in dialogue to help differentiate character voices.

Most of these words can be removed within the context of the single sentence, maybe with a glance at the previous or the next one, for repetitions.

Suddenly – can be removed in 99% of the cases. In 109k words of GoF, I’m left with 5 occurrences, 3 of which are in dialogue. E.g. ‘He laughed suddenly.’ → ‘He burst out laughing.’

Then – as above. E.g. ‘He blushed then and looked to the side.’ → straight up remove ‘then’. What do you add to the sentence, little word?

‘In order to’ – can almost always be replaced with just ‘to’, but see a note below on using ‘to’ to indicate intent.

‘At that’, ‘at him’ in phrases like ‘was surprised by that’, ‘smiled at him’. E.g. ‘Ianim smiled at him with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.’ → Just remove ‘at him’

Something – can usually be replaced with 1-2 more specific words, which will pack a sentence with more information. E.g. ‘It was something he could trust, and so he did.’ → ‘It was an instinct he could trust, and so he did.’

And on that note…

Turn intent into action

Don’t tell me what the character’s immediate plan is; show them doing it. This makes the action more direct, since we spend less time in the character’s head, and more watching the events unfold.

The first words to search for here are: could, would, should.

E.g. second pass of the last example: ‘It was an instinct he could trust, and so he did.’ → ‘It was an instinct he trusted.’

E.g. 'He could understand where they were coming from' → 'He understood where…'

I’m not that aggressive with removing the latter two.

Similarly ‘to’. Searching for it with ctrl+F produces a lot of false positives, but the instances I’m looking for are ‘they did X in order to do Y’.

E.g. ‘She slowly reached out her hand to touch the blade.’ → ‘She reached out slowly and touched the blade with a shaking hand.’

E.g. ‘The animals began to scuttle away.’ → ‘The animals scuttled away.’

E.g. ‘He sat straddling the bench to look directly at Lissan.’ → ‘... and looked …’

Yes, the meaning changes a tiny bit, but is the distinction crucial? In my case, the answer is almost always: it’s not.

Other padding words, often included in writing advice, are ‘that’, ‘almost’, ‘still, ‘quite’, and ‘very’, and again, they can be either removed or replaced with a stronger/weaker word.

E.g. ‘The wall to the right was almost entirely covered by a detailed map of the Five Princedoms.’ → ‘The wall to the right was covered by a detailed map of the Five Princedoms.’

E.g. ‘It even glowed very faintly in the dark.’ → just remove ‘very’.

Filtering words

Heard, smelled, felt, saw – they’re the filtering words, ok, but what does that mean? They distance the reader from the events, like observing them through a window. They also shift the focus from the events, onto the characters – so yes, I’d leave the words in when I want to stress that the character managed to see/hear something, despite it pushing the limits on their senses, but in most cases, they can go.

Each one of them is a little different, and I’ll order them from the most straightforward to most nuanced.

‘Heard’ is probably the easiest, and the only times I’d leave it in is when someone is eavesdropping (with description of how clearly they can hear a conversation) or to highlight that someone has exceptional hearing (with a note on the distance). Other than that, remove. E.g. ‘He heard his own voice falter.’ → ‘His voice faltered.’

‘Smelled’ – I try to remove it in sentences of the form ‘they smelled apple pies’, not ‘the apple pies smelled delicious.’ I’m also less aggressive about this one, and again leave it when it highlights someone’s super-senses. And! I never remove it at the cost of not describing a smell – include all senses. E.g. ‘Lissan smelled a rejuvenating, not quite minty aroma.’ → ‘A rejuvenating, not quite minty aroma drifted towards Lissan.’

‘Felt’ – there are at least two reasons why I’d want to remove it. First is that it’s telling emotions, in sentences like ‘He felt embarrassed.’ and I’ll get to these in the next part. The second thing is strictly filtering, describing what a character noticed about the environment. E.g. ‘It was black and it felt oily.’ → ‘It was black and oily, leaving unpleasant smudges on his fingers.’ E.g. ‘He felt a gust of wind at the back of his head.’ → ‘A gust of wind ruffled the hair at the back of his head.’

‘Saw’ – again, there are two ways in which I see this word pop up in my draft, which I want to cut down on. One is describing the action of watching, noticing, or spotting, and in most cases it can be replaced with a more specific word, like the ones above. E.g. ‘She’d seen Barran sew a cut like this once.’ → ‘She’d watched Barran…’ The other way it comes up is the typical filtering: E.g. ‘He saw Lissan tense up.’ → ‘Lissan tensed up.’

One exception to this rule is when removing them makes you ask how the POV character saw it, e.g. when they’re facing a different direction. E.g. ‘They saw a glint of steel out of the corner of their eye. They pivoted on their heel and raised their Sabre to meet the falling blade.’ → leave as is. Note to self: ‘Out of a corner of their eye’ is not a get out of jail free card for using ‘saw’. I definitely use it too often.

Oof that’s all I the words I ctrl+F for…

As I write more, I start forming sentences without these words by habit, and I find fewer and fewer ctrl+f’able words to remove.

Part 3 to come soon.

Requested tag: @galactic-mystics-writes

#editing #writing #writing tips #writing advice #novel writing #creative writing #writeblr #writeblr community #writers of tumblr #writing resources

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shallowrambles · 1 year

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Michael + wants

Revelations of key SPN themes in 14x01

In 14x01, Michael visits a devout human, a rebel angel, and a vampire. In trying to figure out who he wants to have on his side, we get a window into some of the key themes of the series. I've put this in my side blog, because I know my pessimistic views on Purgatory and vampires are not sexy nor preferred in the world of Supernatural, but I do like to throw out contrary themes from time to time...so here I go.

1. Humans: They don't know what they want.

Why are we here? (Later, we will learn that AU Michael believes it's all meaningless.)

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Interestingly, even though AU Michael scoffs at love, two characters (Dean & Anael) will want LOVE in the very next Michael meeting.

This taunt is something Michael drums up specifically to taunt this "devout man." Michael wants to call out his hypocrisy of pretending to care and not caring.

More importantly, is it true? Probably not completely. AU Michaels' whole shtick is taking truths and applying the worst possible conclusion in order to get under your skin.

This devout man may indeed want love and peace, but he's indecisive and self-sabotaging because life is fuckin' hard. (We know that repeat trauma can cause an emotional numbing, too.) This man's made so many mistakes, like betraying loved ones. But those mistakes don't magically cancel out the desire for love and peace. Michael is either being willfully cruel OR in his perfectionism and rigid worldview, he can't process nuance or the concept of forgiveness.

This devout man calls to mind Sam, at least when it comes to Sam's constant search for meaning and answers. (Sam is Solomonari). There's also a bit about this Jamil leaving his friends behind in the war to die (soldier-deserter) and being unfaithful to his wife/family, and now, he performs religious rituals to soothe his inner anxieties and find comfort.

Of course, he calls to mind all alcoholics, as well. Which is most hunters. (John, Bobby, Dean, Sam, even Mary... Also Raphael's despair in just wanting to escape/for it to all be over.)

Michael's verdict: Humans are a mishmash of complicated imperfections. In the world of Supernatural, phrases like "simple, pure" are a warning signs of unreality and idealizations. Humans, on the other hand, are messy. To Michael, they're not worth saving because they're complicated.

We can almost hear Chuck talking to Amara in 15x17 Unity: "Humans...they'll let you down every time."

That's humanity! Because people are real and imperfect.

You can also hear echoes of Metatron from 11x20: "Yeah, sure, they're weak and they cheat and steal and... destroy and disappoint. But they also give and create and they sing and dance and love. And above all, they never give up! But, you do!"

///

2. Beaten-down soldiers: longing for home

Next, we come to Jo (Anael). She counts a wad of cash:

///

LOVE.

So, indirectly, Michael IS telling us what Dean wants, too. It's a bookend to OG Famine wondering what is the thing that Dean can't fill up, not with booze or drugs, not even with sex. (Ergo, love is the thing Dean wants but he can't have. His core wound.)

And Oh, Sister Jo.

Her is a reverse of Jamil: it's a hypocrisy of pretending NOT to care to cover up how much she actually cares.

///

Anael wants love, not material things.

Dean also wants love. He passes the time with other things to try to cover up what he really wants, because going after what he really wants is scary, and more importantly, not allowed. He is like Anael.

///

So, washed-up angels soldiers are lost, sad, fallen things. They're weak.

This could call to mind Cas, especially the part about "rebellious angel who never played by the rules," but I still think this Anael is mostly about Dean, like Jamil Hamed is mostly about Sam.

///

3. Vampires: Pure, won't let you down, no baggage

So, Michael finally settles on vampires. But why?

What are vampires in this context? They're pure. Simple. They won't let Michael down. I've said before, of Purgatory's "pureness":

Dean's simplified Purgatory world of black-and-white kill-or-be-killed (no-mistakes-can-be-made-here-no-one-can-let-me-down-here) is his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with hunting in a complex world AND maladaptively dealing with disappointment

This is Michael's False Answer, too. Because the world is meaningless, Michael doesn't appreciate metaphorical shades of gray, much less colors and vibrancy. Michael's better world is just simple, with clear rules. Michael is bringing back heavy season 8 vibes, what with calling out Jamil's deserting of his friends in Syria, and now bringing up the "purity" of vampires.

Season 8 is all about figment-like wisps of Romanticization, all the way up to romanticizing solutions to the world’s messy problems and romanticizing relationships that either don’t fit in the real world, or don’t allow for the full expression of your imperfect self. It creates ghosts that represent the perfect home life + companion, with no baggage and the perfect war + perfect comrade, with no baggage.

Here, Michael is looking for perfect war companions, his blood brothers if you prefer, because "war is what Michael does." Michael has become his worst self. He's fruitlessly killed everything he cares about, just to get his father's attention. After all, there seemed to be no archangels left in AU Earth, and the complicated civil wars of the angels are not pure. Angels were never simple; it was always brother-against-brother and extreme politicking in the world of the angels. So here, he arrives in a new world and finds an ally in something he views as pure. There's no baggage.

But importantly, these figments (a) cannot disappoint you due to their purity and/or simplicity and (b) elegantly solve issues by eliminating the messy business of decision-making and disappointment.

I know vampires have a lot of valid sexy themes, but often in Supernatural another theme swirls around them more strongly, and that is this one: simplicity. Like Purgatory. They're one-dimensional, uncomplicated, and they do what you want / never let you down. They are perfect war companions. Keep them fed, and they'll owe you.

Not like complicated humans.

That's why, in season 15 (The Trap), Sam and Dean's "worst" ending is becoming vampires. They devolve into singularly driven, one-dimensional characters that lack complexity. They are devolving into a metaphorical Purgatory, a "suicide" of no longer being willing to engage in a complex world. It all becomes blood.

Michael (God) doesn't want Jamil (Sam) -- he's too unmotivated and messy and he lets you down. Michael (God) also doesn't want Anael (Dean), because she's weak and wants that ooey-gooey love stuff. Gross. What Michael (God) wants are vampires and Leviathans.

It's as if Chuck is a symbolic fourteen-year-old dudebro writer, insisting his show is about "only two brothers who hunt," and that's all. (No messy human shit, and certainly not love n' romance.) As he tells Becky in season 15: "Monsters are so cool, right? All those teeth! People read for the monsters!"

#spn + purgatory as the unthinking black and white world of war #spn + purgatory as symbolic suicide #au michael #i have a big soft spot for au michael and mary and jack as it turns out

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adriangreen087 · 3 months

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Can You Wax Wood Floors?

While wood floors are beautiful, they also require more maintenance than other flooring materials. Among the many care tasks is regular cleaning and removing dirt and grime buildup. A question that often comes up is "Can you wax wood floors?". In the past, many assumed wood floors should always be waxed, similar to how vinyl or tile floors are treated. However, the proper care of wood floors is more nuanced.

Can You Wax Wood Floors?

In short, yes, you can wax wood floors! Waxing is an effective and popular way to maintain the beauty and longevity of your wood floors. However, it is important to note that not all types of wood floors should be waxed. Hardwood floors with a polyurethane finish, for example, should not be waxed as it can cause build-up and damage the protective layer.

Why May You Want to Wax Wood Floors?

1 . To Protect the Floors From Wear and Tear

Wood floors are not only aesthetically pleasing, but they also add warmth and character to a home. However, they can be damaged easily if not properly maintained. Dust, dirt, and even shoes can cause scratches or dents on the surface of your wood floors over time. As a result, the wax coating is often used as an additional layer of protection to prevent wear and tear, making your floors last longer.

2 . To Restore Shine and Luster

After years of use, wood floors may lose their shine and luster due to everyday foot traffic, spills, and cleaning products. Waxing can help restore the natural beauty of your wood floors by filling in any scratches or imperfections on the surface and providing a glossy finish. This can make your floors look brand new again, giving your home a fresh and polished appearance.

3 . To Make Cleaning Easier

Waxing wood floors can also make cleaning easier in the long run. The wax coating acts as a barrier between the wood surface and dirt or spills, making it easier to simply wipe away any messes. Regular waxing can also prevent liquids from seeping into the wood and causing damage or stains. This means less time spent on cleaning and more time enjoying your beautiful floors.

4 . To Add a Personal Touch

The wax coating comes in different types, such as clear or tinted, giving you the option to add a personalized touch to your wood floors. You can choose a clear wax to maintain the natural color of your wood or opt for a tinted wax to change the look and feel of your floors. This allows you to customize and enhance the appearance of your home according to your style.

How to Wax Wood Floors in 5 Easy Steps

Step 1: Prepare the Floor

Before you even begin to wax your wood floors, it’s important to make sure they’re clean and free of any debris. Sweep or vacuum the floor thoroughly, paying special attention to corners and crevices where dirt can accumulate. If there are any tough stains, be sure to scrub them with a mild detergent and water before proceeding.

Step 2: Gather Supplies

Before starting the waxing process, it’s important to gather all of your supplies. You will need a bucket, mop, or applicator, and the wax product of your choice. Be sure to read the instructions on the specific product you choose as some may require additional tools or steps.

Step 3: Dilute Wax (If Necessary)

Some wax products may need to be diluted before applying to wood floors. Be sure to carefully read the instructions and dilute according to the recommended ratio. This step is important as undiluted wax can leave a sticky residue on your floors.

Step 4: Apply Wax

Once you have prepared your floor and gathered all the necessary supplies, it’s time to apply the wax. Begin in one corner of the room and work your way across the floor, using long, even strokes. Be sure to overlap each stroke slightly for maximum coverage.

Step 5: Buff and Dry

After applying the wax, it’s important to buff and dry the floors according to the instructions on your chosen product. Some waxes may require a specific amount of time before you can buff, while others may require multiple coats. Be sure to read and follow the instructions carefully for best results.

Conclusion

Now you can answer if someone asks you "Can you wax wood floors?". Yes, you can! With these 5 easy steps, your wood floors will be shining and protected in no time. Be sure to regularly wax your wood floors to maintain their beauty and longevity. Remember, always read and follow the instructions on your chosen product for best results. Happy waxing!

#wood flooring #woodworking #diy

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michaelsavageusa · 7 months

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Michael Savage of New Canaan on Mastering the Art of Lego Sculpting: Tips for Creating Intricate Builds

Lego sculpting is a remarkable art form that combines creativity, precision, and patience. One individual who has truly mastered this craft is Michael Savage of New Canaan, Connecticut. With years of experience and a deep passion for Lego, Michael has become a recognized figure in the Lego sculpting community. In this article, we'll delve into his insights and tips for creating intricate Lego builds that captivate the imagination.

The Journey to Lego Sculpting Mastery

Michael Savage's journey into the world of Lego sculpting began in his childhood. Like many youngsters, he was introduced to Lego through a simple building set. However, his fascination with the bricks didn't stop there. He soon found himself experimenting with more complex creations, pushing the boundaries of what could be achieved with these plastic pieces. Savage New Canaan

As he honed his skills, Michael's creations became increasingly intricate and detailed. His talent and dedication caught the attention of fellow enthusiasts in New Canaan, leading him to join a local Lego club and eventually participate in prestigious Lego conventions, where his sculptures left audiences in awe.

Tip #1: Start with Inspiration

For Michael, inspiration can strike at any moment. It could come from a book, a movie, a piece of art, or even a simple object. When starting a new Lego sculpting project, he advises taking the time to gather inspiration and develop a clear vision of what you want to create. Whether it's a towering skyscraper or a whimsical fantasy creature, having a strong concept in mind is the first step towards success.

Tip #2: Plan and Sketch

Before diving into the bricks, it's crucial to plan your sculpture. Michael emphasizes the importance of sketching your design on paper. This not only helps you visualize the final product but also serves as a reference while building. It allows you to work out proportions, angles, and structural details in advance, saving you time and frustration later on.

Tip #3: Gather the Right Bricks

Selecting the right Lego bricks is vital for a successful sculpting project. Michael suggests sorting your bricks by size, shape, and color to make them easily accessible during the building process. Having a well-organized workspace can significantly enhance your efficiency.

Additionally, while traditional Lego sets are a great starting point, don't hesitate to explore specialized pieces and components from various Lego themes. These unique elements can add depth and character to your sculpture.

Tip #4: Master Advanced Building Techniques

Lego sculpting often requires advanced building techniques that go beyond the basic brick stacking. Michael Savage recommends familiarizing yourself with techniques such as SNOT (Studs Not On Top), offset building, and the use of hinges and brackets. These techniques allow for more complex and organic shapes, helping your sculpture come to life. 1800accountant Michael Savage

Tip #5: Patience and Persistence

Creating intricate Lego sculptures can be a time-consuming process, and setbacks are part of the journey. Michael advises aspiring builders to be patient and persistent. If a section of your sculpture doesn't turn out as expected, don't be discouraged. Disassemble it, make adjustments, and keep refining your design until you're satisfied with the result.

Tip #6: Seek Feedback and Learn from Others

Lego sculpting is not a solitary endeavor. Michael Savage highlights the importance of seeking feedback from fellow enthusiasts and participating in Lego communities. Sharing your work with others can provide valuable insights and constructive criticism that help you grow as a builder.

Tip #7: Embrace Imperfections

Perfectionism can be a stumbling block for many Lego sculptors. Michael encourages builders to embrace imperfections and quirks in their creations. These subtle nuances often add character and uniqueness to your sculptures, making them all the more intriguing.

In conclusion, Michael Savage of New Canaan, CT, has mastered the art of Lego sculpting through years of dedication and a passion for creativity. His tips and insights provide valuable guidance for anyone looking to embark on their own journey into the world of intricate Lego builds. Remember, with patience, persistence, and a dash of inspiration, you can transform simple plastic bricks into captivating works of art that inspire and amaze.

#michael savage 1800accountant

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acadestudio10 · 8 months

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From Script to Screen: The Intricate Process of Video Dubbing Services

We live in a world where media content goes beyond borders and cultures. People have developed a liking for content from other parts of the world. In such situations, video dubbing is widely used by people to make films, TV shows, and other visual content accessible to a global audience. This intricate process involves careful synchronization of voices, cultural adaptation, and technical precision to replace the original audio of a video with a new language. In this article, we will delve into the world of video dubbing and discuss the complexity and precision behind the scenes.

The Process Behind Video Dubbing

Video dubbing has emerged as a powerful tool in the recent few years. Through video dubbing services, content creators can overcome language barriers. This allows people from all over the world to enjoy media content in their native language. Unlike common belief, certified video dubbing goes beyond simply translating words and speaking them aloud. Professionals use various tools and expertise to ensure that the essence and the cultural context of the converted text is kept intact. This ensures that the converted language sounds relatable to the target audience. This process involves translators, voice actors, directors, engineers, and careful attention to detail.

Let us look at this entire process step by step.

1. Translating the Script

The journey of video dubbing begins with script translation and adaptation. This is not a simple task of converting one language into another but rather a form of art. Translators must consider cultural nuances, idiomatic expressions, and the content’s specific context to deliver a natural and culturally relevant translation. A direct word-for-word translation may not capture the true essence of the dialogue, so adaptability is key.

2. The Casting of Voice Talent

Choosing the right voice actors is a crucial step in the dubbing process. Casting directors keep searching for individuals whose voices closely match the original characters. In addition to the tone of voice, the dubbing artist must also capture the original character’s personality and essence.

3. Recording Studio Setup

Regarding video dubbing services, professionalism and precision are important. Recording studios have the latest equipment and soundproof rooms to allow these to happen. No interference or external noise can enter the recording process in such professional settings.

4. Recording the Voice

Once the script has been translated and the voice actors have been chosen, the next step is to begin the recording sessions. This is where the true magic of dubbing happens. Voice actors step into the shoes of their characters, aiming to capture not just the words but also the emotions of the original performances. This is a detailed process where timing is everything. Actors must sync their delivery with the lip movements of the characters on screen.

Directors and audio engineers play a vital role during recording sessions. They provide feedback to actors as they ensure that the delivery matches the original performance regarding emotion, tone, and timing. It is a delicate balancing act that requires collaboration and precision.

5. Audio Post-Production Activities

Once the voice recording is complete, the audio goes through post-production. Audio engineers carefully clean up the recordings, removing background noise or imperfections. They also adjust audio levels to maintain consistency and ensure that the voiceover audio matches the timing and pacing of the original dialogue. The goal is to create a clean and polished audio track that easily blends with the video.

6. Ensuring quality

Quality control is the phase that comes after audio post-production. The dubbed video undergoes multiple rounds of scrutiny. This is to check for differences in lip-sync, audio quality, and translation accuracy. Any issues are documented and addressed during this stage of video dubbing services. This phase ensures that the final product meets the desired quality standards.

7. Mixing and Synchronization process

In this step, the dubbed audio is mixed with the original soundtrack, including sound effects and music. Achieving the perfect balance between the dubbed voiceover and the original audio elements is necessary to maintain the viewer’s involvement. The synchronization of audio with the video is another important task that ensures that every word accurately matches the characters' lip movements.

8. Doing a final review

Before the dubbed video is ready for distribution, it undergoes a final review by the production team. This review ensures that the dubbed content meets the technical requirements and retains the original content’s storytelling. Any adjustments are made to ensure that the final product is an easy blend of the original visuals and the newly dubbed audio.

9. Delivering the video

Once the video dubbing is complete and approved, the final video is delivered in the desired format. Whether for television, streaming platforms, DVDs, or other distribution channels, the dubbed content is now ready to reach its intended audience.

10. Distributing the content

The dubbed content is now set to be distributed to audiences around the world. With the help of video dubbing, the content can go beyond language barriers and cultural differences, allowing viewers from diverse backgrounds to enjoy and connect with the material.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the intricate process of video dubbing services is a detailed blend of linguistic expertise, artistic talent, technical precision, and attention to detail. It is a necessary bridge that allows content to travel across borders and find new audiences. While the viewer may see and hear the final result effortlessly, the true complexity of the professionals behind the scenes makes it all possible. Video dubbing proves the power of storytelling and the art of communication, reminding us that language should never be a barrier to the magic of cinema and television.

#voiceover #dubbing #video #videodubbing

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sword-dad-fukuzawa · 2 years

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1) what's kiznavier? what's it about? 👀👀👀

2) it's funny you say that about great pretender; i made it thru 3 cases before the tension of "why won't they let edamame in on ANYTHING" got too stressful and i had to drop it wjfhfjfjkg it's a shame cos i rly do love leverage-esque stories

Kiznaiver is a really strange anime that I'm probably dropping, if only because the lackluster plot is not enough to keep me watching it. And because the characters whose arcs matter to me have gotten their episode of screentime? Maybe? Yuta...hasn't gotten a dedicated ep...hm.

So, okay, it's an anime about seven teens who get experimented on to be able to feel any pain that one of them experiences, and share it evenly. So if one gets slapped, for example, everyone takes a share of the pain. It's a very heavy handed message about world peace and empathy and opening up to others that gets explicitly preached about once an episode.

The main guy (I don't even know his name even though people keep yelling it?? That's how little I care about him uh) doesn't...feel emotions...and his whole thing is learning to feel them again...which would be compelling if I gave a damn about him. He's in a love triangle with Chidori (whose name I remember because Naruto) who is the most boring and annoying Genki Girl (tm) ever, and another emotionless person--she looks like bargain brand Esdeath from Akame Ga Kill with none of the personality, appeal, or narrative weight. He has a thing for her. Probably. And she's connected to his tragic past.

Anyway, my problem with it is that I'm only attached to two characters (Yuta and Maki). Out of a cast of eight significant ones. Yuta is fun because he's a playboy slimeball but he's also the only one with any sense of nuanced emotional intelligence. As such, he's the only one who can get through to Maki, who has so much trauma that she hides by being bitchy and cold. Also, she's queer. I appreciate Trigger for writing in a queer girl who is allowed to be imperfect and human. All in all, it's just a very strange anime that is,,,,,eeeeeeeeeh overall?

BUT HOLY SHIT ABOUT TGP

YOU'RE TELLIN ME

EDAMAME'S BEING LEFT OUT DOESN'T GET BETTER???

I like keikaku anime a lot!! When I'm allowed in on the keikaku, as the audience!! And not made the butt of the joke ;-; TGP WHYYYYYY

#reyni :0

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alectology-archive · 3 years

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hi there!! 💕 if it's not too much hassle, i was just wondering what your thoughts on the bone season are, and whether you recommend it or not!

i enjoyed priory of the orange tree, but i've heard some worrying things about samantha shannon's other works 🥺 i haven't been following you for super long but you seem to have a critical and reasonable opinion on these things! also i hope you have a lovely day 💗💗💗

Oh, hi! I’ve read the books and I definitely consider the bone season a favourite series of mine. I personally love the aesthetic the books have going on, plus the world building (the world building!! and especially the magic system) and writing are really, really good so I’d definitely recommend it. The protagonist, Paige, is demisexual, so that was an added bonus.

A lot of my criticisms mostly tend to be with the first book, which the author wrote when she was 19 and also admitted was the book she wished she could go back and rework a little. (Upon my reread I did discover that it was actually my second-favourite book in the series, if that counts? So the book isn’t as imperfect as I might make it sound).

As for the actual criticisms,

mostly with respect to the first book, the world building tends to be kinda info-dumpy and very heavy in the beginning? It was really easy to follow when I reread the books in January, though.

the relationship between Paige and an immortal character made me slightly uncomfy (specifically in the fourth book tbh because it was where they fully crossed into romantic territory) and I’d have really preferred it if they’d maintained a platonic relationship. That said, the author did specifically set out to write a romantic relationship that was built on a very strong foundation of trust and communication (which she achieves) and I really love the series for that.

[ I do want to link this post because the author is very aware of the power balance that needs to be tackled when a mortal character has a romantic relationship with an immortal character. She actually addresses the complexities and issues in the books as opposed to writing with blind ignorance and zero nuance like a lot of other authors (ahem, sjm) ]

This also reminds me that another reason the relationship made me uncomfortable was because said immortal character also peruses Paige’s dreams and memories without her consent and I do have slightly complicated (but generally okay) thoughts about it. I’ll put it under a cut for you to come back to if you ever read the specific scene (it’s from book 1)*

Paige conflating the immortal character’s title with his name and continuing to address him by his title in books 2&3 kinda further drove home the power imbalance but this post actually made sense to me because a lot of Paige’s trauma in the books are linked with people who address Arcturus by his name.

Hope this helped!

*It’s a really complicated subjected for sure, and that’s in part because Paige and Arcturus were essentially enemies and they did not owe each other anything. From Arcturus’s perspective, there sure were a lot of things at stake and he was risking his own life as well as the rebellion’s success (and therefore the lives of all the humans in the colony) by placing his trust in Paige so I think it would make sense for him to use his gift to ensure that Paige could be a real, solid, ally. Also keep in mind that the Ranthen do not have many allies at the time this occurred so they really could not afford any mistakes.

BUT Paige is in the right to be upset--and especially, Samantha allows her to be really upset and the narrative holds Arcturus responsible for his actions because irrespective of the intent, it was still a violation to view her memories without consent. I do think the choice of memory--about her crush on Nick--was particularly personal and I didn’t like that but I think it was a product of Samantha being really young when she wrote the book. I haven’t come across anything else that really made me raise an eyebrow in her books, though!

#anyway paige is a demisexual icon and I love her #asks #anon asks #lovely people #text #*

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ectora · 3 years

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REVIEW 313

took me some time to actually get into that review lmao But i really loved the episode. I know some people will probably have complains about it, but as someone who absolutely loves Abigael, I really liked it. And honestly the fact that abigael was finally included in the main story is not even the reason why. I loved the pacing, it actually felt like Charmed. The stakes, the construction, the format, it was all on point. It was genuinely their best episode alongside 307 (two episodes related to the tomb lmao) and one of their best in the show imo.

I've put it in "hidden" cause it ended up being so long I did not expect that im sorry 😭

SCREEN TIME

Maggie: 29m20s

Macy: 27m36s

Mel: 25m39s

Abigael: 20m17s

Jordan: 10m32s

Harry: 47s

Not gonna lie, I did not miss Harry this episode. Maybe it's just cause I don't like the way they have been writing both him and Macy this season, way too focused on the relationship, but his story does not really interest me. And I enjoy watching Macy interact with other characters a lot more. I think we could have had a little bit more of Jordan as well.

What I liked

where do i even start. I genuinely enjoyed so many things in this episode.

As said earlier, I really enjoyed the structure of the episode, to me it finally really felt like charmed. The way the episode was done was beautiful and I LOVED the trial in a general manner. They're terrible lawyers, but still loved it lmao

Ok hear me out, the fact they had abigael and macy say what the fan had been saying but reversing the roles was actually sent me lmao

I really enjoyed that they balanced the rights and wrongs of abigael. I'm part of the people who think that overall, most of what she did was not that deep tbh, but the episode allowed to have nuances and hold her accountable for things she did while also recognising that she did good things.

Abigael finally interacting with the sisters. To me, that's the sign of good characters tbh, how they can interact with different other leads/mains and such relationships being interesting. Abimel, i'll talk about it a bit later cause i have lots to say. But AbiMacy ? I absolutely always love their scenes, one of the reasons being that I genuinely think they're the two best actresses in the show and you can really feel it when they're on screen. They have easy chemistry and whatever they are doing, they just work. They also had one of the best potential of the show in terms of dynamic and I will never forgive the writers for ruining this, especially because it's in part because of a man. Anyway, their scenes were amazing to watch and I need more. I was especially happy because let's be honest, if Macy has valid reasons to dislike Abigael, they often miss-portrayed that in the show and it often came across as being mostly based on the whole love triangle between Macy Abi and Harry. But this time it really was not and Macy was quite fair, even reaching the conclusion Abi doesn't belong in there - she does not- and I liked that they actually were fair on Macy's dislike and distrust. Then there was AbiMaggie. Honestly, it's not a relationship i expected to enjoy that much but oh god i love them. I loved them in episode 207 and I still do. They just have such a funny dynamic, I can't even explain it correctly but it just work. They're throwing remarks at each other sure but it's almost in a sweet funny way. Abigael calling Maggie 'Legally Brunette" was so funny and cute at the same time.

Talking about Maggie, I really liked her this episode. I love how she reacts in situations where they need a cold head. She takes the lead, she does what needs to be done and she reaches the goal. I really enjoy seeing her taking that role a little bit more. Especially because to me Maggie was always the one with the most nuanced view on the world which I really appreciate. I loved her speech at the end and she grew so much since season 1, she's really so great. The more we advance in the show, the more she shines.

I really liked what happened at the end with the sisters recognising that they are themselves not perfect and are even chaotic. I have a point about being chaotic for later but anyway. Yes the sisters are not perfect. Honestly, they have done questionable things in the past themselves and often are the cataclysm of new things happening. I think it just makes them more interesting and better characters. Black and white can only get so long. Nuanced, imperfect, that's where the complexity lies and what is more interesting imo.

The perfecti really are good characters. I mean their logic was completely f*cked, but they are so entertaining to watch, it's actually great. I like also that they continued that idea that logic without emotion is dangerous. But in some ways tbh, the Perfecti are not even logical. They want to think they are, but their own logic is flawed and like Macy said, completely lacks context.

Finally the power of three and FINALLY, the plot goes forward. Maybe that's another reason I really enjoyed the episode, the fact that it actually had a good flow, it felt like one constructed episode and it actually advanced the story which cannot be said about a lot of the episodes. So I'm happy that happened.

And finally Abimel. I mean, no one can be surprised Abigael has feelings for Mel tbh, girl has not been subtle about it lmao But that declaration was actually cute and their scene at the bar ?? paralleling the one in season 2, it was so sweet. I just love them tbh, and I really think they could have been the ship a lot of us were waiting for in the sapphic community especially.

Abigael's past. Like I loved learning more about her past and her mom. Obviously her traumatic past does not exempt her from her own actions but I do believe it give strong grounds for redemption. it also gives us a lot of insights in her character. Her mom was an absolute monster and what she did to her was terrible. There is no surprise in Abigael's absolute lack of self worth and her unhealthy coping mechanism. Like her mom basically spent her life telling her she was deficient and then punished her for something she had no control on whatsoever. She punished Abigael for her own action and her own liaison with a demon. She probably projected her anger about that relationship on the child that came out of it and it's absolutely horrifying. Like no wonder Abigael is not fond of witches and went into the demon side tbh. Like that's not surprising at all. It also explains why she was so against the idea of witch = good that the sisters keep perpetuating because that's simply not what she experienced. Again, it does not excuse everything she did but I do believe it helps understand the character better and that ultimately, it gives space for a redemption. And again, kuddo to both poppy and the actress who played her mom. First that was great casting and it was really well played.

Remarks

To be honest, I don't really have things I genuinely disliked so I'm more gonna do like a section where i could criticise some of the aspect which to me did not necessarily made sense but were often still funny, and who knows maybe done on purpose. It's gonna be a mix of a little bit of everything.

One of the first thing I was kinda confused on was their use of the term chaos. Because, well, chaos doesn't equate evil. But that's the angle they started taking at the beginning which to me was confusing. It didn't make the episode bad, but the more I think about it, the more I'm like the defence they were going with had nothing to do with the charges 😭 Like, the sisters tried to prove that basically Abigael was a good person. But the charges were that she was chaotic. and by the end of the episode we did reach that kind of point where they said everyone was chaotic and everything - which i liked - but also didn't really match the angle they took the entire episode. Because, I personally never saw Abi as evil. But she is 100% chaotic like that girl is the definition of chaotic and I love her for it. But her doing good or bad is not necessarily what makes her chaotic. Good deeds can be as chaotic as bad ones. For example, Abi binding her own power could be considered as good by some people (it's not really but you see what I mean) but by doing so, she would lose the title of overlord and therefore end the treaty. In that case the war would start and that would definitely be chaotic. If she was to stay overlord however, and control the demon world, which can be seen as bad i guess, she is keeping the war from happening and stopping attacks toward witches and innocents, which is the contrary of chaotic. So yeah, the angle they took did not actually make that much sense cause the two are not the same.

Not gonna lie, bringing Godrik up was so weird to me cause like he tried to kill her first and they all know it, yet she was the one said to try to murder him and I was like ? did we all forgot what happened ? 😭

Some of the things brought by the perfecti - such as her killing those humans or demons - seemed weird because like, the sisters did the same in the past 😭 But also that's part of the whole lack of context aspect I guess.

No they really used Francesca as a witness out of all the people in the world like the woman is a whole child abuser who asked help to the elders, which have been established as like, not good people lmao I know it was part of the whole the perfecti are very selective on the information they actually take into account and they use the information as well as twist them to fir their own narrative but still it came across as weird because that woman was the definition of evil. But that's also what ticked the sisters so well.

Why did they not call Harry to testify was also kinda like ... weird. I mean at the same time I can't really complain but still, it was a bit odd. Also the fact they never thought about showing what was abigael actually doing with Jordan lmao I mean it wouldn't go along with the plot but still.

Ok, that take is subject to controversy and I know it but anyway : to me, Abi stealing Macy's power was ... not that deep. Don't get me wrong, the story was bad. The execution was even worse. In the show itself tho, objectively, as an act, it was not that bad. It actually made a lot of sense for Abigael to take it for herself. Macy wanted to get rid of her demon powers, no one was forcing her. And Abigael actually asked her multiples times if she was sure. Macy definitely had her reasons to do so. But at the end of the day, Abi picking them up when they were gonna disappear in thin air is really not that bad. It's logical. Don't get me wrong I'm glad Macy is getting them back, but I also think there has been a lot of mix up between the actual act of stealing the powers and the way it was done/optics ( I still don't understand how anyone wrote that scene and was like, yeah kneeling is a good idea ??? Like what's wrong with you 😭). But like ultimately, the act itself is not bad. questionable ? sure. Evil ? really not. Like let's be honest here. Abigael never hid who she was (past ep3 obviously). She did not pretend to be an angel, nor that she was a good samaritan. At the end of day, the sisters knew who she was and how she worked. They came to her knowing this. At some point, there is a need to acknowledge that, she was no angel, but they knew that and still went to her. She said it herself, she is used to fight for herself, and she'll sting to protect herself first - which i personally don't really hold again a character. If you go in bed with a scorpion, you can't ignore the fact there is a chance you're gonna get stung. Plus, when Abigael "stung" she also actually still gave them what they wanted/needed. I personally never saw self interest negating a good action. I don't really care if she gets something out of helping. Like at the end of the day, why wouldn't she take them ? In some ways however I do understand why Macy would be mad, she asked for help and she didn't realise Abigael stole them and she doesn't like abigael in the first place so why would she be ok with Abi taking them. That's valid too. But objectively, it was more a she was offended and mad that Abi herself had them more than a it's a terrible thing to do kinda feeling. So like it's a bit of a weird situation because Macy being annoyed and mad is valid but at the same time, it's really not that bad in itself. But overall that story should have never existed in the first place. And certainly not happen like this.

Abimel. I loved it but I also have issues with it. Mostly based on the fact we learned Poppy was leaving the show. And not gonna lie, I cant stop myself from feeling like it was almost a bit .. baity if I dare say. They had basically admitting having feelings for Mel and low key hoping it could lead somewhere when honestly, if she's leaving, they did not need to make it romantic. Because honestly, watching this episode not knowing she would leave ? You'd definitely could think it's happening, especially with all the other hints in the past. They could have made it like more about how Mel was the one giving her a real benefit of the doubt and they had a connexion and she wanted to be worthy of that. It would not be romantic. Especially cause she admitted caring about all sisters so it would have worked. Again, don't get me wrong, I want the most Abimel i can get lmao but also it feels a little weird. It's complicated. 😭

Jordan is definitely coming back, I just wonder what are going to be the circumstances. I completely understand why my boy needed a break. Like their time in the tomb was long. We don't exactly know how time works there but remember, in episode 7 when the sisters were stuck, the normal time was like what ? hours ? while in the tomb it was days for Maggie. So there it was days in normal time so in the tomb ? could potentially feel like weeks, months even. So yeah, give him a break and some time to breath. I know they're dragging this whole Joggie thing but because of Covid i also understand and will let it go. I really like them tho.

Abi has some alcohol problems I feel like should maybe be talked about. Like she uses it as an escape, as a way to numb her feelings. There is a reason it was used to symbolise her submitting herself to the tomb. And her first reaction after leaving the tomb was drinking. When she feels unhinged or vulnerable ? She drinks ? When she lost the title of overlord ? She drank. Alcohol is her escape which is a bit worrying.

Not about the episode but I think it needs to be brought up. I've seen people trying to say they brought up the abuse storyline for abigael out of nowhere and like. Listen I completely understand not trying to give more thoughts to a character you dislike, that's fair enough. But saying that storyline is out of nowhere is just a lie. The only new elements we had here were the details of the abuse she went through. They showed the clip again in the episode, where Abigael talks to Mel about her mom. She rejected her, she made her felt, deficient, wrong. All that is emotional abuse. She said her mom tried to fix her which can easily be thought about physical abuse. Like none of these things were new. To be honest, not a single thing they clarified/established for abigael this episode does not follow up with what was in the show in the past. Her feelings for Mel were honestly rather obvious at this point. Her not wanting TCO to get hurt ? There is literally a scene where Godrik tells her it's her head or the sisters and she never really even thought about throwing the sisters under the bus. She even asked who knew and it's easy to think it's because if no one knew she could put it under the rug. Again, it's fair enough for people to dislike her to not try to put more thoughts into her motivations or scenes in a general manner, but then you can't really say things are out of the blue.

And most importantly, I'm sorry, I don't care if you dislike the character, but if you dismiss the abuse just because of the dislike, that's a problem. What a character goes through in her past does not, in any way, have to change your opinion about them. Whatsoever. However when it comes to issues like child abuse, the bare minimum would be to be respectful of the subject and not say "she deserved it", "should have done more" or just say you don't care cause that changes nothing. Again, it doesn't have to change anyone's opinion at all and it does not excuse behaviours, but man, minimal respect is not that hard.

Highlights

This episode genuinely had such funny moments, i loved it.

« Is this a hard time to admit I failed debate in high school ? » and « could the defendant keep her commentary to herself » competing with each other for the funniest part of the episode. The delivery was perfect on both part. And Abi and Macy interactions are always so good and them bantering more or less seriously all the time is sending me. Macy was just so annoyed with her, i loved it.

« Need something legally brunettes » I said it already but I loved that little scene between AbiMaggie and that line particularly.

Abigael went from saying "I could care less about any of you" to "because I deeply care about her" followed by a whole ass declaration AND admitting she does actually care about all of them. My girl got absolutely played and it was genuinely so funny. Like Abigael was so freaking smug about testifying against herself and she got played so hard, she was SO annoyed it was actually hilarious.

"Every battle I fought, I fought alone" like excuse me while I'll go cry in a corner. Again, Poppy has been absolutely killing her role this season.

"Your arguments are illogical" the perfecti have such audacity like girl have you heard yourself ? 😭 no one is being less logical than you right now.

Lmao when Macy said Abigael belonged into the tomb, Mel was not agreeing 😭 And Maggie was having none of the drama either she just wanted out.

The sisters realising they had to be Abi's character witnesses lmao it was hilarious pleas idc.

Theories

With Poppy Drayton leaving, there are two theories I kinda have. Obviously Abigael is either gonna die or leave. Ngl, I can feel the dying one coming more but well, that brings the two theories.

Abigael would sacrifice herself. Which I don't like but honestly let's be honest, there are 95% chances of that happening. I could see her sacrifice herself for Mel or for the sisters in general. But that's where my abimel issues are coming. I love abimel. I want the most abimel i can have until the end. But Abigael admitting have feelings for Mel just in the purpose of having her sacrifice herself for her and to be 'worth it' ? that's not only a byg trope, it's also lazy.

If she just leave, which wouldn't really make sense to be honest cause why would she just leave, would she give up the title of overlord (why even) or would they bound her powers (i would hate that) ? but anyway, if that's the case, I could actually see her learn Waverly is not actually the one rejecting her. Waverly could very possibly not be the one who communicated with Jordan and the sisters. No one ever saw her, the letters are only signed by her name. It's a bit sus tbh, so nothing stops it from being Francesca actually impersonating her daughter to keep her away from Abigael.

I want to know more about the perfecti. We know they killed charmed ones before, and it doesn't seem like charmed ones existed when they were created ? Maybe the charmed ones were created after they went into the tomb ? I still am not sure about them going into the tomb by themselves tbh. But also they don't seem to be evil in the sense they want power or whatever, more in the fact like they consider themselves perfect and that if someone stands in their way, they'll just get rid of them.

#charmed #charmed cw #charmed reboot #charmed 2018 #macy vaughn #mel vera #maggie vera #abigael caine #abigael jameson caine #jordan chase #harry greenwood #abimel #mel x abigael #mel x abby #charmed analysis #charmed review #charmed 313

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jeannereames · 3 years

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Hi, Dr. Reames!! I wanted to ask your help regarding character building. I really want to write a character people won’t love, but also won’t hate. I don’t want to write someone who is utterly detestable, or aim for people to hate them (I don’t mean to write a villain and I don’t want to have them do something unforgivable where even I draw the line, like s*exual ab*se, nor have them be so annoying they want to leave the story unfinished because they can’t stand them, like it happened to me with Bagoas while reading The Persian Boy), but also don’t want to write simply a good guy who does bad things. I also don’t want to write a character that is redeemed, nor a character that readers will find the way to save or love anyway, forgiving all the awful things they did, (like Lucien Carr in Kill Your Darlings, Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter, Oliver in CMBY, Who I freaking HATE, but for some reason everyone loves), even if I don’t have any control in what they will do to my characters once they are out there. I don't want my readers to put them in a pedestal just because they're funny, good-looking, have a tragic backstory, represent a minority or whatever (the last one might be controversial, I know). I want to make a character people will "like", without being able to ignore the shitty things they do. (In a nutshell, how to write the ultimate anti-tumblr character).

Anyway, I could go on and on about this, but I think you got my point XD

I appreciate any thoughts you could give me about this and I don't want to miss the chance to tell you how much I admire your work as a writer and historian. Thank you for giving this ask a chance!

I think what you’re asking for is how to write a truly 3D character. *grin*

Character complexity takes time to build, requiring focus and deliberation. Construct scenes that allow you to demonstrate different (good and bad) aspects of a character’s personality. In short, SHOW (in a scene or via conversation), don’t tell in the narrative. That’s authorial intrusion.

You will also want to consider genre. Mainstream fiction (by definition) lacks expectations, and some genres allow, even expect, character nuance. For instance, mysteries and its several sub-genres have a soft spot for imperfect protags. Similarly hard SF, space opera, and anthro SF do too: consider Greg Bear’s Blood Music or Vernor Vinge’s A Fire Upon the Deep. Epic fantasy, by contrast, has historically tended to simpler-drawn characters (following Tolkien)—although that’s changed a lot, especially since the ‘90s. Military fiction (historical or not) tolerates flawed characters well. Genre Romance does not; it requires heroic leads who have few flaws, or undergo redemption if they are flawed. Although again, in the hands of a truly good author complexity can be introduced (Alice Archer’s The Infinite Onion comes to mind). Romcoms, and (to a lesser degree) women’s fiction (sometimes called “Chick Lit”) can be a mixed bag.

My most important bit of advice involves two questions every author should consider for each of their primary and also (imo) major secondary characters:

1) What are that character’s goals, and their motives for those goals?

2) What will that character do (and not do) to achieve them?

When an author understands their characters, then a character’s actions and reactions make sense and are consistent. Consistency is super important for character creation.

It doesn’t really matter if you want a character to be an antagonist or an outright villain. Or you need that character to be your hero, or anti-hero. It all boils down to what the character wants, and what they will do to achieve it. Also how SERIOUS that ambition is: just a wish, a serious long-term desire, or life-and-death?

A character can have more than one driving ambition—even ambitions that conflict. And in that conflict can come some of the best drama! It also keeps characters from being mean just to be mean (which is boring).

Yet I want to point out that good, 3D character development means characters must change. You mentioned not wanting to write a character who’s redeemed, but that requires you to think about what sort of character arc you want your character to have—as they shouldhave one. Where is that character going? If they’re the same at the end as at the beginning, there’s no development and they’re at best 2D, maybe even 1D.

Tertiary characters don’t need to grow. They have a particular job to do in the story and it’s limited. But secondary characters can be more nuanced and may show development; it serves the author to think about their motives. And the main protagonists as well as significant secondaries really need to grow and change.

Let’s return to the need for motivations. Motives can lead a character to do unsympathetic things. A character’s developmental trajectory might cause a change in those motivations. If so, it could lead to a redemption for that character—and there’s nothing wrong with a good, complex redemption story. Yet there are some reasons it might not:

1) The character isn’t prominent enough to have a developmental arc. (E.g., a tertiary or lower secondary character.)

2) The character’s developmental arc is unrelated to whatever is the unsympathetic action or opinion.

3) The character’s developmental arc may be character descent instead of redemption.

Now, with all that theory, let me give two concrete examples. One comes from Dancing with the Lion: a character who does bad things without a redemption arc because it would conflict with her motivations. The second comes from my new series, Master of Battles: a character whose story does include a redemption arc because that’s the entire trajectory of that character.

First up: Myrtalē/Olympias in Dancing with the Lion, Alexandros’s mother. It’s key to note that she’s a non-point-of-view secondary character, so we’re never in her head to know what she’s thinking. As important as she is—and as much as I wanted to give her nuance—her impact is largely ON other characters. She is what I’d term a “second-tier” secondary character. “First-tier” secondaries would be Kleopatra, Aristoteles, Kampaspe, Ptolemaios, Amyntor and Philippos himself. E.g., all POV (point-of-view) characters. Not all have strong character arcs. Kleopatra does; she’s one of the principal secondaries. But Myrtalē’s role in the novel as a second-tier secondary character means she doesn’t necessarily need to have a developmental arc. I still wanted to present her as more than a simplistic trope.

In much Alexander fiction, Olympias (using that name on purpose) is portrayed as a femme fatale or crazy bitch or overpowering mother, based on whatever Freudian/misogynistic theory the author favored that week. But most ignore her motivations, or those motivations revolve around vengeance and sexual jealousy of Philip’s other wives (e.g., largely modern motives).

In Dancing with the Lion, Myrtalē /Olympias has one primary goal/ambition: get her son on the throne. It’s somewhat self-serving in that, if Alexandros doesn’t inherit, he’ll be killed—and so will she. Ergo, her motivation is literally life-and-death. The seriousness should be underscored.

What will she do to achieve her end? Pretty much anything, up to and including murder. The alternative is her son’s death, and probably her own. Nothing is more dangerous than a mother protecting her offspring.

Yet, because that is her goal, it eliminates a lot of “crazy bitch” behavior attributed to her. Why would she fight with Philip “just because” unless it furthers Alexandros’s position? Antagonizing the reigning king, who can name a preferred heir, is stupid. Similarly, why would she alienate other women in the women’s rooms, unless they have a competitive heir? Befriending and protecting other wives of Philippos (like the teen bride Meda) makes her allies, not enemies.

Very early in the novel, she’s concerned that Philippos is removing Alexandros from under her watchful (protective) eye by sending him to Mieza to study with Aristoteles. Then, a bit later, she advises Alexandros, on his trip to Epiros, to make an ally of his uncle, the (new) Epirote King—because he might need support later and they’re blood kin. These are examples of her concerns.

In both cases, Alexandros dismisses those concerns as he’s young and wants to trust his father, but her motives are not “anti-Philip” or witchy-bitchy Olympias jealous of Philippos’s other marriages. She is LASER focused on keeping Alexandros alive. That concern motivates everything she does. I also show her “kind” side, as with Meda (mentioned above), or in her concern for Kampaspē, Alexandros’s mistress. Mytalē take Kampaspē under her wing and worries about her well-being after the wedding feast catastrophe: the only one to actually think about her, not accidentally stumble over her (like Hephaistion).

Moving forward in the series, Myrtalē will do some pretty terrible things, but always in pursuit of her primary motivation: protect and elevate her son. She won’t ask for, expect, or even want “forgiveness” for those choices.

My next example comes from Master of Battles: the chief protagonist, Teo. “The bully” is a staple of high school/other stories. For a while, I’ve wanted to write about “the bully who grew up and realized he’d been a jerk.” Teo is that bully. It’s not a high school setting (MoB is epic fantasy), but Teo is handsome, smart, talented, and from an important family: typical bully tropes. Popular, arrogant, sure of his place, and dismissive of others—but also disliked for his meanness. All of it leads him to follow an evil sorcerer who appeals to his pride.

The first novel in the series (The Oriole) begins with his flight/separation from that sorcerer and his conscious rejection of his former, self-centered bully identity. He’ll meet up with a unique, kind-hearted prince who doesn’t suffer his faults. But a lot of the first three (of five) books deal with his conscious attempt to redeem himself from some terrible things. So “redemption” IS his character arc/road to maturity.

Yet along the way, he’s shown to retain vestiges of his old self. His arrogance has softened to self-confidence in his healing skills. Yet while he takes pride in being a healer, unlike the other lead character (the prince Ision), he doesn’t really like most people, who he often finds tiresome. His arrogance is still there. He’s a bit of a modern surgeon cliché…he’s really good and knows it. He’d rather heal you, but not deal with you as a human being. And when he dislikes someone (such as Ision’s mother for how she treated Ision), he can be downright mean in petty ways. Ergo, even as he seeks to be better, he retains echoes of his original faults. The difference is that he’s been humbled by his experience, and recognizes that these traits are defective.

Redemption arcs need to 1) have nuance, 2) not be instant, and 3) HAVE A MOTIVE. So we’re back to what is the character’s motivation for change? In Teo’s case, he’s come to realize (via a pivotal event involving the sacrifice of a fox) the true horror of what he’s become. And it’s the memory of his parents’ unconditional love for him as a child that motivates him to be better (as well as, eventually, his love and admiration for Ision). Ergo, he has a reason for change.

Yet note that I begin the story after his choice. Because he’s one of the two chief protagonists, I need to TIME the introduction of his less-than-charming aspects, as I don’t want readers to hate him from the get-go. Also, that foregrounds redemption as his character arc. It doesn’t feel like a case of, “Oh, I really like and feel sorry for this smarmy character, so I’m going to make him better.” The plot direction for the character is, from the start, to become better.

Redemption arcs are tricky and, imo, need to be strongly intentional on the part of the author, not an afterthought. Otherwise, they feel either shoe-horned in, or like an apologia.

#the writing life #the craft of writing #craft of writing #character development #complex characters #historical fiction #writing unlikable characters #writing life #Dancing with the Lion #DwtL #character development arc #asks #3D characters #3-dimensional characters

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tsarisfanfiction · 4 years

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Long Way From Home: Chapter 2

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Family/Friendship Characters: Scott, Tracy Family

Well, the first chapter certainly got some reactions, so I’m back again to either answer the questions from last chapter or make things more confusing. Or both, because why not? I’m planning weekly updates, but we’ll see what actually happens. Thanks, uni.

<<<Chapter 1

Logic screamed that he was actually facing the Hood, the twisted man adopting his own appearance for some scheme or other that Scott really didn’t want to know about. His gut told logic to go take a hike – there was no way the Hood would be standing there, barely two feet from his uniform, and not raiding any and all technology he could get his grubby little paws on. Nor would the Hood leave him unrestrained when he’d had plenty of opportunity to secure him during the gap in his memory.

Besides, the Hood was a perfectionist. His disguises were flawless, a product of technology Brains rolled his eyes at but acknowledged was an engineering masterpiece, if sadly in the wrong hands. This Scott in front of him was not a carbon copy.

For starters, much to Scott’s chagrin, the man’s hair was a healthy brown all over. No grey traitors wormed their way along his roots, signs of stress he desperately tried to ignore even as his brothers taunted him for their existence and pulled stunts that felt designed to increase their number. The brown was also slightly lighter than his own, although that could just have been a product of more washes and less gel. Despite the lack of grey hairs, he also got the impression that this man was actually older than him, if only by a year or so.

“How did you get here?” His voice was different, too. The pitch wasn’t the same, nor was the tone quite right. Virgil could give a better summary of the nuances, he was sure.

The words, though. Those were all Scott, right down to the sharp delivery and clear expectation of a prompt answer. Skipping pleasantries, and heading straight for the heart of the matter because they didn’t have time to dance around the issue.

“I might have a better idea if I knew where ‘here’ was,” he challenged. “What is this place? Where am I?” Where were his brothers?

The Other-Scott (Fake Scott? Hood-Masquerading-As-Scott?) locked gazes with him. What he was looking for, Scott didn’t know, but he refused to cower away from his doppelgänger and met his steely, searching look with one of his own. Logic still insisted that the Hood, or at least the Hood’s technology, had to be responsible, but he’d learnt to trust his gut long before he’d even heard of his father’s dream of International Rescue and that was adamant that Kayo’s miserable excuse for a family member had nothing to do with the man in front of him.

What it couldn’t tell him was who the man was, aside from an imperfect clone of himself. The unusual technology surrounding them – alien, Alan might call it for lack of a more rational explanation – was another piece to the puzzle that wasn’t slotting together.

Puzzles were more of John’s thing, not his. There were many times his ginger brother had rescued the poor pieces from his hands as he tried to force them into the wrong places.

Why had John not made contact yet?

“Who are you?” he demanded when it became clear that the other man wasn’t intending on answering his other questions. “Why am I here? Where are my brothers?”

“Brothers?” Other-Scott repeated, frowning deeply. “We found you alone.”

“Found me?” Scott spat. “Where? Last place I remember was the securest part of my own home! There’s no way you got near me without passing my brothers!” His brothers, sleeping soundly in the belief that they were safe in their own home. Even John had gone to sleep, secure on Five, but if they’d reached Thunderbird One’s hangar they’d have reached the space elevator docking system. “So where. Are. My. Brothers?”

“You were in our home,” Other-Scott bit back, hands briefly balling into fists before being forced to relax again. “Alone. Wherever your brothers are, it’s not here.” Scott didn’t like the emphasis on brothers.

“Don’t lie to me!” he roared, temper fraying. His brothers had to be with him, otherwise John would have made contact asking where he’d gone. Otherwise this man – and others beside him – had invaded their home and taken him whilst leaving his brothers but that made no sense. Why take only one member of International Rescue when you could have all five? Why take only one Tracy – even if it was the eldest, the one with the most access to all their assets – when you could take more for additional insurance?

They hadn’t tied him down, and the wires hooking him up to the bizarre machines had long since lost their hold on him from his earlier movement. A rookie mistake. With years of Air Force training behind him, Scott launched himself at the other man.

Blue eyes widened just before a fist made contact with his cheek, and Other-Scott staggered backwards before catching his balance, his hand tenderly brushing over the injured area. The movement had put him to one side, no longer between Scott and the door, and Scott took full advantage of that. If this man wasn’t going to admit where his brothers were, he’d find them himself.

It was his turn to receive a punch as he jumped towards the door, putting him off-course and allowing Other-Scott to block his way again. This time, his curiously wary look had changed to an angry one, and as they met in a flurry of blows Scott couldn’t tell which of them moved first.

“Let. Me. At. My. Brothers,” he spat between blows, gasping as an elbow caught him in the solar plexus just as Other-Scott doubled over from a fist to the gut.

“They’re not, argh, here!” Other-Scott insisted, hooking their ankles together and bringing them tumbling to the floor, where they pushed and shoved at each other, trying to get the upper hand. Something fell off a table as Scott’s back slammed into it, shattering into many glass fragments and dousing him with a cool liquid. Another bottle hit Other-Scott’s shoulder on the way down, before smashing on the floor and adding to the mess.

They were equally matched, neither able to get the upper hand as they rolled around on the floor, fists flying, heads clashing, and elbows jabbing whatever fleshy body parts they could reach in all the chaos. Broken glass dug mercilessly into bare skin wherever it was visible, the liquid contents of the former bottles oozing through their clothes. Other-Scott’s head slammed against the bed, but he barely paused before Scott found his own head colliding with a metal table, darkening his vision for a split second.

“What’s going on here?” an unfamiliar voice demanded. Scott ignored it, and Other-Scott met his latest attacks with equal fervour. “Scott, stop!”

Scott had no intention of stopping. He didn’t recognise the voice, but Other-Scott had flinched so he did, which meant they were working together.

Strong arms grabbed him, hauling him away from Other-Scott with a grunt, and he kicked out at the warm body restraining him. Other-Scott had been captured too, a shorter brown-haired man built like a tank firmly hooking him under the shoulders and frowning furiously as he fought to keep hold of Scott’s doppelgänger, who was as determined to get free as Scott himself.

“BOYS!” the voice thundered right in his ear, no doubt belonging to the owner of the arms restraining him. “What is this nonsense all a- oof?” Scott threw his head back, clashing with what felt like a nose, from the way it gave.

“Where are my brothers?” His demand came out almost as a scream, all his frustration at the situation pouring out of him as at least two more hostiles made themselves apparent. Other-Scott was stopping short of causing any damage to his own captor in his bids for freedom, suggesting that while the man was breaking up the fight, he was still on Other-Scott’s side.

“I told you!” Other-Scott shouted back at him. “They’re not here! We only found you!”

“They must be here!” Scott insisted. “Don’t lie to me!”

“E-nuff!” the man behind him joined in, the imperious tone ruined by the clear sounds of a broken nose. “Shedate im!”

Scott fought harder as a ginger man entered the room, looking at him with wide brown eyes before surveying the mess in front of him with trepidation. He picked his way across glass-strewn floor carefully, but Scott was more interested in Other-Scott, whose attempts to get free had reduced to a token effort as his attention was briefly stolen by the ginger man. He recognised that look of concern too well, far too used to seeing it in the mirror.

“Oh my!” a frail woman’s voice sounded from the doorway. “Oh, what a mess. Jefferson, what are you doing to that poor young man?”

Jefferson. The name was so familiar it hurt, but at least he had a name for Other-Scott – or so he thought until the man holding him responded.

“He’s quith ou o conthrol, muffer.”

Unable to help himself, Scott tore his gaze away from Other-Scott, who had now stopped resisting capture entirely in favour of looking in the direction of the doorway almost sheepishly, to catch a glimpse of the man holding him. Silver-grey hair and a receding hairline weren’t immediately familiar, however, and the hold he was in preventing him from seeing much more. He could, however, see the elderly lady who had interrupted the fight. Rosy cheeks, a slightly bent back and a quiver in her hands all pointed towards a particularly advanced age.

“Where are my brothers?” he asked again, reigning his voice in to an almost-level, if still intense, level.

“I told you-” Other-Scott started forwards again, only to be brought up short by the man still holding him tightly.

“Your brothers, dearie?” the old woman interrupted. “Oh, I’m afraid I don’t know. Jefferson, why don’t you help the young man find his brothers?”

“They’re not here, Grandma,” Other-Scott said, and Scott flared up again.

“Well then, dearie, it seems to me that instead of all this fighting, you should be looking to find out where they are,” Other-Scott’s grandmother pointed out. “I’m sure their absence is terribly distressing him. I know you’d be terribly distressed if your brothers were missing.” She pottered towards him, the ginger-haired man sweeping back to her side and nudging broken glass out of the way with a foot before she could tread on any. “Jefferson, let him go. Are you hungry, dearie? I’ve got an apple pie that’s just finished baking.”

“Muffer!” the man holding him protested, but the woman was no longer paying her son any attention, bespectacled eyes homing in on Scott. He looked around the room; Other-Scott was still held by the brown-haired man, and the ginger was hovering awkwardly by the elderly lady but shooting him assessing looks. The grip on his arms was slackening, and it became clear that no-one wanted to fight with her in the midst, Scott himself included.

“Well, dearie?” the woman prompted, and he slid out of the other man’s grasp. The instant he did so, a hand, just as frail and delicate as the rest of her, came to rest on his forearm. “If apple pie doesn’t meet your fancy, I have an orange tart, or some banana bread. Oh, if none of those tickle you, I’m sure I can find something,” she wittered as he found himself being coaxed from the room.

“Uh, apple pie would be… fine,” he said haltingly. Behind him, he heard a noise of protest. “Thank you, er, Mrs..?”

“Oh dear, I didn’t introduce myself.” She sounded mortified at the omission. “I’m so sorry, dear. It’s Mrs Tracy.”

It shouldn’t have bothered him. Tracy wasn’t an uncommon name, for all that there was only one family famous for it. The elderly lady looked nothing like his grandmother – either of them, even if his recollections of his mother’s mother were faded – but her grandson still looked like him, to the point he still didn’t trust the other man, or indeed anyone in the house. In light of that, having his own surname thrown around startled him.

“Is there something wrong?” Mrs Tracy asked him. “Oh, you don’t look well at all, dear. Let’s sit you down.” He found himself ushered into a seat as they reached what was clearly the kitchen. A young woman was already there, pulling the promised apple pie out of a bizarre contraption that vaguely resembled an old oven. “Tin-Tin, would you be a dear and fetch your father?” the elderly lady asked her. “This young man doesn’t seem very well.”

“But of course, Mrs Tracy.” Tin-Tin had a slight lilting accent to her voice, somewhere south-east Asian if Scott had to guess. “I’ll find him now.” She placed the apple pie, which smelled absolutely heavenly to Scott, compared to his own grandmother’s regular offerings, on the table and left the room.

“Eat up, dearie,” Mrs Tracy insisted, placing a plate in front of him. “Help yourself to as much as you want.”

The apple pie smelled good, and despite his misgivings at the entire situation, a homemade apple pie was far too tempting and he found himself tucking in to a healthy slice.

“What would you like to drink, dear?” she asked. “Tea, coffee? Oh, I have some juice somewhere, now where did I put it..?”

“Water is fine,” he answered between mouthfuls.

“Oh, are you sure?” she queried. “It’s no trouble at all.”

“Perfectly,” he replied, only to blink as a steaming cup of tea appeared in front of him.

“You called, Mrs Tracy?” An older man had entered the kitchen while he wasn’t looking, an impressive and concerning feat considering Scott was still on edge about the entire situation. His accent was the same as Tin-Tin’s, implying that this was her father.

“Oh, Kyrano,” the woman greeted. “This young man, oh, silly me, I never asked for your name, dearie… Dearie?”

Scott barely heard her, the cup of tea he’d started to lift falling from startled fingers to smash onto the table, spilling the liquid everywhere.

Kyrano. Another familiar name, if not a familiar face. First, Other-Scott, who could have been his identical twin. Then, Mrs Tracy, a name he knew all too well even if she didn’t look like his own grandmother. Now, Kyrano, another name albeit one whose owner he hadn’t seen in too long, with a different face but the same intensity about him.

“Dearie?” Mrs Tracy asked again. “Oh, what a mess. He’s as white as a sheet, Kyrano.”

Something reminiscent of smelling salts wafted under his nose and he spluttered.

“You’re bleeding, sir,” the man said matter-of-factly. “Allow me.”

Scott had forgotten about the broken bottles he’d been wrestling amongst with Other-Scott, but now the man had mentioned it, he could feel the sting of glass embedded in his arms. No permission was sought before a gentle yet firm hand wrapped around a glass-free section of his arm, holding it in place as a pair of tweezers were produced. He was no stranger to medical attention, and while he didn’t know the man – Other-Kyrano, apparently, for all that he clearly wasn’t English, and probably couldn’t trump Scott in a fight – he did at least know the procedure for removing foreign bodies from open wounds and watched like a hawk as the man more or less followed the methods he would have expected.

“Please, drink your tea,” Other-Kyrano asked once a nasty, stinging liquid – disinfectant was horrible stuff and Scott would never like it – had been applied and bandages carefully wrapped around the worst of the wounds. “You might find it helpful.” A second cup of tea replaced the smashed remains of the old one, as Other-Kyrano efficiently cleaned up the mess.

How was tea supposed to help? Lady Penelope might insist as such sometimes, but Scott would much rather a strong coffee chock full of caffeine. Still, Mrs Tracy was looking at him with a worried look on his face, and Grandma would murder him for defying or otherwise offending an elderly lady who had done him no harm. He cautiously pulled the cup closer to him, and was startled to discover it wasn’t an ‘Assam Blend’, or whatever other fancy teas Lady Penelope liked to serve up. It was herbal, and surprisingly delicious, he discovered after his first tentative sip.

“Kyrano serves wonderful tea,” Mrs Tracy told him, sitting down across the table from him. She had her own cup of steaming liquid in front of her, and sipped at it delicately. “Now, dear, I’m afraid I didn’t catch your name?” Scott paused, taking another tentative sip of the tea to buy himself another moment to think. Should he give them his name? He didn’t know what they already knew. Was it worth a lie? No, he’d never be able to keep it up.

“Scott,” he admitted.

“Oh my,” Mrs Tracy said. “What a coincidence. That’s the name of my eldest grandson.” Scott’s gut churned unpleasantly, and he put the cup down before he dropped that one, too. “Oh, you even look the same. Isn’t that strange?”

Strange was one word to describe what was going on. Suspicious was another.

“You’re the fella that punched Scott?” A young man barged into the room. He had pale blond hair and light blue eyes that should have made him attractive, except he seemed to have a permanent frown etched into his face. “What gave you the right?” Scott matched his glare with one of his own as the young man – barely an adult at all, if he had to guess an age – stormed up to him.

“Alan!” Tin-Tin was there, resting a hand on his arm. “Please, calm yourself.”

Another familiar name, and now that he’d heard it Scott found himself instantly drawing parallels between the man and his youngest brother. There must have been at least five years between them, but Scott could see Alan looking like that man in a few years, although hopefully without the frown.

“But, Tin-Tin!” Other-Alan protested. “Scott’s face is bruised. I can’t just let that go!” He even had the same personality, a rigid sense of right and wrong with little ability to see the other person’s side, and a reluctance to acknowledge that black and white was joined by a large span of grey.

“Your brother can fight his own battles, Alan,” Tin-Tin soothed. “I’m sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”

“What about Dad’s nose?” Other-Alan demanded. “You can’t expect me to…”

Scott tuned out the argument at that. Dad. He tried not to be a petty person, but there were times when he couldn’t quite prevent envy bubbling up when he heard other people taking about their Dads, taking them for granted as though they’d always be there. Over the years he’d got better at smothering it, but this was a man named Alan, with a brother named Scott, and a grandmother called Mrs Tracy, and they had their Dad.

He’d broken their Dad’s nose when he’d tried to stop him attacking one of his sons. If that had happened to his Dad – if Dad was still around to break up fights on their behalf, no matter how unwelcome the gesture would have been in the moment – he’d be fuming, too. He wasn’t going to apologise though. Not now, when he didn’t know where he was, who he was with, or where his brothers were. He didn’t even know what these people planned to do with him, regardless of whether or not his presence in their home was intentional on their behalf.

“Leave it, Alan.” The blond man’s tirade was cut off by none other than Other-Scott – now confirmed to actually be a Scott himself – as he walked into the room. “Is there any apple pie left, Grandma?”

“Oh, yes, dear,” Mrs Tracy assured him. “Take a seat and I’ll bring some over.”

“Thanks,” Other-Scott said, pulling up a chair a couple away from Scott. His face was bruised, as Other-Alan had said, a beautiful darkening along his cheekbone and narrowly missing his eye. Other-Kyrano set a cup of tea in front of him, which he accepted gratefully and drank without hesitation.

“But, Scott!” Other-Alan complained, and his brother sighed.

“That’s enough, Alan,” he said, tearing into the plate of apple pie his grandmother placed in front of him. “Leave it.”

Other-Alan caved, albeit with obvious bad grace, and stalked out from the room. Scott watched him go. Part of him was glad that the younger man was being openly hostile – at least he knew where, exactly, he stood with him. Other-Scott was less clear, patched up from their scuffle and now sat at the same table, devouring his grandmother’s apple pie. Suspicious glances remained, but there was no open hostility.

The door opened again, and Other-Alan re-entered followed by the two young men from the infirmary, and-

A second teacup smashed onto the table.

“Oh dear!” Mrs Tracy cried, hurrying over to him. Other-Kyrano quickly swept up the remains as she took hold of his hand. “Scott, dear, are you alright?”

“Scott?” one of the men asked. He thought it might have been Other-Scott.

“Oh, Jeff, are you sure there’s nothing wrong with him?” Mrs Tracy was asking. “This is the second turn he’s had in as many minutes! Oh, look at him, he’s gone as white as a sheet again, Kyrano.”

Scott barely heard them. The man who had just entered the room had the obvious signs of a broken nose, identifying him as Other-Alan’s Dad. He also had salt and pepper hair, more salt than pepper, and a receding hairline. Steel eyes fixed on him sharply, hard and unforgiving, and a five o’clock shadow did nothing to hide the dimples in his cheeks. This was the same man that had restrained him, and while a glimpse in his periphery hadn’t been enough to cause recognition, now that Scott could see him properly he looked like Dad – an older version of Dad, but then he hadn’t seen Dad since he was nineteen. No doubt, if Dad was still with them, he’d look very similar to the man in front of him.

This had gone beyond simple words like weird and suspicious. Impossible sounded more like it.

“His medical results all came back clear, Grandma,” the brown-haired man from the infirmary assured her, squatting down in front of him and shining a penlight into his eyes. He recoiled from the bright light, tearing his gaze away from Not-Dad – it couldn’t be Dad, Dad was gone – to frown at him.

“Did you call him Scott?” the ginger man asked, walking over to the table and slotting himself in a chair between him and Other-Scott.

“That is my name,” he said before anyone else could speak up. A hush fell over the room, broken by Other-Kyrano setting a third cup of tea in front of him.

“Drink,” the man said. “It will help.”

“Your name is Scott?” Other-Alan demanded. “But-”

“That’s enough, Alan,” Not-Dad interrupted. The blond frowned, but obeyed. “Scott, is it?”

“That’s what I said,” Scott retorted, taking a sip of the fresh drink. As Other-Kyrano said, it did help. Somehow.

“Scott..?” Not-Dad trailed off expectantly. Surrounded by too many familiar names, Scott decided against answering. He took a longer drink, ignoring the patriarch of the family in favour of assessing the rest of the room. Other-Alan and Other-Scott he already had some measure of, the former more so than the latter. Mrs Tracy was a kind enough lady, and Tin-Tin seemed of a similar temperament. Other-Kyrano was difficult to read, but his focus was the two men whose names he had yet to hear.

The ginger noticed his scrutiny, returning it in kind. There was something familiar about him, but Scott batted away the notion. He was simply off-balance at the number of familiar names and faces already – that was no reason to start looking for more connections where there were none. No matter now much the warm brown eyes of the two as-yet unnamed men reminded him of two of his brothers.

Not-Dad bristled when it became apparent that he wouldn’t give his name.

“I’d like to know, who, exactly, is trespassing in my home,” he said. Clearly the man was used to being obeyed.

“I’d like to know how, exactly, I got here, and where my family are,” he retorted.

“You don’t know how you got here?” the brown-haired man asked, surprised.

“Virgil,” Not-Dad warned. The third teacup was spared the fate of the previous two purely by being on the table when Scott’s grip slacked.

“No,” he said firmly, powering through the unpleasant sensation dousing him again before Mrs Tracy commented on another ‘turn’. “I don’t. I don’t know where ‘here’ is, either.”

“But how could you get here without knowing?” the newly dubbed Other-Virgil asked. “None of us brought you here.”

Scott didn’t bother responding, draining the cup of tea before any more unpleasant surprises could befall it and standing up.

“Thanks for the tea,” he said to Other-Kyrano, “and the apple pie,” he continued to Mrs Tracy, ignoring Not-Dad as he pushed the chair under the table.

“Dear, are you sure you’re alright?” Mrs Tracy fussed. He wasn’t, but he didn’t tell her that. Instead he gave a short nod before choosing a door at random and walking through it, ignoring a protest from Not-Dad.

A corridor greeted him, with a neat row of doors on one side and a branch off to the left leading to who knew what.

“Now look here.” A hand clapped down on his shoulder, and he was halfway to removing it forcibly before placing the voice. Having already broken Not-Dad’s nose, thereby earning the wrath of at least one member of the family, it was probably not a good idea to injure the man further. It didn’t stop him shrugging him off, however. “I don’t want you walking around our home unsupervised, young man.”

“Then supervise me,” he retorted.

“I intend to.” A hand returned to his shoulder – lightly, this time, Not-Dad clearly learning his lesson – and steered him towards what now looked a lot like an elevator from those old, vintage films Grandma occasionally put on even though they were from before her time, or so she claimed. Neither he nor any of his brothers were brave enough to dispute it. “Gordon, I want everyone in the lounge. Let’s start from the beginning.”

“Yes, Father,” the ginger man said – Scott hadn’t even noticed him behind Not-Dad – and tried very hard not to react to the name, even though the situation had flown past anything anyone could classify as a coincidence at this point. Scott, Virgil, Gordon, Alan… all they were missing was a John.

Not-Dad gestured for him to enter the elevator, ignoring what seemed to be a perfectly serviceable flight of stairs, and he did so with trepidation, watching metal shutters slide across sharply before a jerk beneath their feet had them rising.

“Jeff Tracy,” Not-Dad said suddenly. Scott glanced at him as the elevator stopped moving and the metal shutters opened with a clatter. “Call me Mr Tracy.” His cool, unpersonable approach was nothing like how Scott remembered Dad, and that helped, a little. He didn’t intend on calling him anything, though. Not until he knew why there was a clone of his father, and of himself, in this strange house.

Chapter 3>>>

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds are go fanfiction #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #tsari writes fanfiction #scott tracy #jeff tracy #grandma tracy #tin-tin kyrano #kyrano #alan tracy #virgil tracy #gordon tracy #long way from home

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writingwithcolor · 5 years

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I’m writing a romance with a protective white man and a Black woman. I’ve assumed that if she is protective in her own way, he’s not a white savior, but criticism of the Hidden Figures bathroom scene made me wonder if it’s really that simple. I know the main issue is historical accuracy, but are there also issues that can be generalized to fiction? For example, having active Black and white characters, but giving white ones disproportionate Big Damn Heroes scenes? Any other nuances I’m missing?

How to Avoid Glorifying White Characters

Who drives the action?

Are scenes where the white character is involved comparably more action-driven?

Are they constantly acting on others while others react to their statements and decisions?

Do they push the majority of the story events forward?

It’s good to have active characters in general, but the white main character should not create all of the plot momentum. If non-white characters are metaphorically being pushed out of the way to make room for the white character’s big scenes, you probably have a glorified white character problem.

Who Resolves The Problems?

Is your white character the handyman for everyone’s issues? What do PoC accomplish among themselves without a white character fixing for them?

Your white characters are allowed to support and protect others. Just ask yourself if they have to intervene in the circumstance at hand and just how much they play hero throughout the plot. If it’s more than a couple times, consider writing out a list of 1-2 alternative scenes where it doesn’t play out that way. What if PoC saved themselves or each other? Replace a white-as-hero-centric scene with one of those.

Create ugly, high-stakes flaws

Consider the white character’s major flaws, and how they play out in the plot.

Are they “cute” flaws? Can their imperfections be spun into a positive, such as shyness or perfectionism? If their flaw could answer the “what are your weaknesses” question in an interview, it’s not ugly enough. Ugly flaws are complex. Complex flaws do not place characters into situations where readers are lead to feel sorry for them. Create people, not angels.

Say your white character’s flaw is caring about others more than he should. While this can certainly cause problems, one cannot think too negatively of the character who simply loved too much for his own good!

If you’re stumped by your flawless hero– consider the neutral traits of the character and where they can go wrong. For example: your protective white lover could have a problem reining in his jealousy, which might also stem from insecurity, lack of trust, or being too controlling.

Not only should white characters have real flaws, but there should be real consequences to their slip-ups. Having a white character who makes fewer and less impactful mistakes than everyone else is a cause of concern.

Protective White Man to Black Woman Plot

I’m not opposed to the white man being a hero for his Black woman lover. I think we need more stories where Black women are not forced to hold the world alone but can step back to be protected by others, whether that’s in romantic love or friendship. Simply remember that your Black woman is still a character. She should act and create plot momentum. That may not play out in her protecting him physically or emotionally, but in other areas that matter. Recognize where her strengths lie, and start from there.

If you could replace her character with a doll with a button that spits out a couple of phrases, you’ve made a passive character who is likely being overshadowed by the white man character.

Solutions

Most readers appreciate a character who is not a perfect, dust-free replica of a human.

Evaluate your story for the pitfalls mentioned above, and remedy accordingly. I suggest you lay out your story events and make out some lists:

Look at your white character’s personalities, and contrast them to the major Characters of Color. List out each characters’ major moments of glory and failure. If the scales aren’t balanced, consider adding and reducing where it fits.

Examine the characters’ major flaws and mistakes. Assure white characters and PoC stand on somewhat equal playing ground.

Consider the conflict throughout the plot and who plays the bigger part in resolving them.

If the scales aren’t balanced:

Add – POC-centered action scenes. It’s alright if the white characters step out of the action for a while. Sometimes it’s okay for them to react for a change vs. stirring up all of the action.

Reduce – White character-centered action scenes. Replace them with moments where the PoC plays the more active roles or with scenes where they both help solve the problems. Note that not every problem should require the assist of a white person, but working together can be a wonderful thing too, especially in the case of loved ones.

–Mod Colette

#lanewilliam #characters #general #writing advice #people of color #Character Design #character creation #creator responsibility #guides #long post #white savior #white knight #asks

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septembercfawkes · 5 years

Text

6 Skills Fiction Writing Will Give You

This started as a lighthearted post that went deep and philosophical fast . . . but I tried to cut short the linguistic theories 😅😁 . . . so yeah!

Pursuing writing long-term changes you. In fact, pursuing any skill long-term will change you. At least in some way. Whether that's self-discipline or physical dexterity. Often the life benefits of writing are far from tangible, so they can be hard to measure. But on days where writing and editing feel like the worst, it's helpful to look at how they can lead to valuable skills. Heck, it's helpful to look at that even when writing feels like the best!

So today I want to share six skills that can develop from fiction writing. (Though I'm by no means a psychologist. These are just my personal opinions.)

1. You Can Come Up with New Ideas

A lot of writing is brainstorming. A lot. The older I get, the more I realize that our minds really are similar to muscles. The way we think, and how often we think that way, strengthens that thought process, and from there we develop thought patterns. They've done studies, and people who complain a lot literally change their neural pathways, and if they do it long enough, it creates a figurative "rut," making it more difficult to stop complaining. (BTW, the opposite is true--those who think more grateful thoughts have more grateful thought patterns.) How and what you think matters.

Now turn this another direction. When you are a writer, you have to come up with lots of ideas. Over time, you may gain certain insights about the process of doing that, like how the first ideas that come to mind are usually the most cliche (that's why they come first), and how you have to ask and address a lot of questions to hone a usable concept. As you brainstorm over and over, through hours, days, months--years--you may learn (if only subconsciously) to consider things no one else in your circle has even thought of. You may come up with ideas and perspectives that may sound brand new.

I'm not saying that all of us become magically innovative and that it's quick and easy--brainstorming new ideas can still be rather difficult (because they are new ideas!) and definitely can feel like work. But if given the time you need (almost every first idea is a cliche), you can probably come up with new ideas.

2. You Can Ask Questions No One Else Thinks Of

Part of writing a story is asking and addressing a lot of questions. This happens in the brainstorming process, it happens in the writing process, it happens in the editing process, and it happens in the beta-reader process. Some of the most important key elements of brainstorming are to ask, "How?", "Why?", "What if?", and "So what?" This bleeds into the writing processes. How does this magic actually work? Why does that character act that way? What if X event happened? Why do we care about this goal (so what?)? Not only do you need to ask and address questions for content, but then you have to ask and address questions the audience is going to have, based on how you tell the story. You have to consider the different thought processes that different types of readers will have, and subtly speak to those.

Beyond that, you also have to consider what I think of as "negative" questions. Instead of asking how your magic works, you also have to ask how it doesn't work, and why. What are the limitations? What if this character doesn't behave how most people would? What if that villain wasn't actually evil? What if the protagonist doesn't get what she wants? Then what?

You have to consider and ask a lot of questions (even if some of them happen subconsciously). And then solve or find answers for them.

Outside of writing, this skill can help you become more insightful. When you ask questions no one else thinks of, you find answers and information that no one else realized they needed. You might be able to solve or prevent problems others didn't foresee. Or you may come to realizations, connections, and epiphanies that were inaccessible before. All in all, you will probably become sharper than you were before pursuing writing.

3. You Can Bring Specificity to Vagueness (Something Highly Undervalued but Extremely Important)

When you first get an idea for a story, the idea is usually vague. It might be a small concept or insight, or a notion, or even just a general aesthetic. And guess what? From that point to the point you finish writing the book, you are essentially taking vague concepts and notions and trying to make them specific and concrete. The warm, fuzzy, love feeling you got when you had the flash of inspiration that your protagonist should fall in love? Yeah, you actually have to write that into language. That is specific. AND concrete. Because that's the only way the reader is going to experience that same warm, fuzzy, love feeling about your protagonist falling in love. It isn't always easy, but that is essentially what you are doing over and over and over again, day in and day out. (And one of the reasons why some say you should stay true to the vision you have of the story, not necessarily all your initial concepts of it.)

Guess what? In the real world there is a lot of vagueness. Because it is vagueness, it's hard to explain. But what's weird is that I've found that often vagueness relates directly to language. Think about it. When you experience something vague and try to explain it to another person, the reason it often feels vague is because you can't find the right words to communicate the experience. This could get deep into the trenches of linguistics and philosophy, like how how we think is influenced by the language we speak, creating a kind of circuitry; and how we are all limited by the imperfections and figurative "ceilings" of our own chosen tongue. But let's leave that for the college classrooms. Suffice it to say that writing helps you learn how to take vague things and translate them into something more specific.

Other than being equipped with the power of words, this is also done by asking questions. When we encounter something vague, we ask questions to find its boundaries and limitations so we can categorize it. For example, if you saw a new animal you've never seen before, you'd look at the boundaries of it--how many legs does it have? What kind of skin does it have? You'll ask questions until you can categorize it into something more specific. Mammal -- herbivore -- some kind of primate. This is an accessible example to illustrate the point.

Why does this matter? The less vague we are, the better we communicate. The more specific we are, the better we can discern subtle nuances and variations, allowing us to come to better insights, conclusions, and innovations. Imagine a world where all of our emotions were categorized as either positive or negative. Our whole life experiences would be different. There is no concept of "mad" or "sad" or "hurt," only "negative," and there is no concept of "happy," "peaceful," and "energetic," only "positive." It would impact everything of our human existence--how we interact, problem solve, communicate. We would not be able to fully discern all the nuances, like the differences between "happy" and "thrilled." If we cannot discern the nuances, the differences, the boundaries, we cannot progress in our understanding concerning that topic.

This is one reason why I'm slightly annoyed with the new thought process concerning Adam and Eve having to experience everything to be able to tell the difference between good and evil; today, people say, "That's a dumb idea, because the taste of broccoli doesn't change the taste of chocolate." But that's not the point! The point is that until we can grasp differences, boundaries, nuances, specifics--we cannot know new things. And if we cannot know new things, we cannot discern, and if we cannot discern we cannot grow and increase in intelligence and we cannot govern appropriately. (Sorry, tangent.)

It kind of makes you wonder about all the things we don't now know because we lack the necessary specifics to discern. . . . Anyway, that went deep quick. See what I mean about these skills not being tangible? One thing worth mentioning in this category is that you'll also be able to help put specific words and concepts to things others can't explain, which can be really validating and a relief to them.

4. You Can Listen and Communicate Better

On the surface, you wouldn't think this relates to the last section, but it does. A lot. (Notice how much all these things actually relate?) Writing helps you understand language better--that might not be a process you are conscious of, but it will eventually happen. Different words carry different meanings: "happy" vs. "thrilled." They're different. As you pursue writing, you'll become more aware of specific word choice. As a result, when people speak to you, you'll hear the specific word choice, the nuances, the connotations, the implications, because the difference between someone using the word "broken" over "damaged" is very real to you. And you probably won't even have to consciously think about it. You'll be able to hear the difference between "annoyed" and "resentful," and as a result, you'll also have better recall for exactly what someone said--because the specificity meant something to you.

Likewise, you'll be able to use that understanding of specificity to communicate better to others. But it's more than that. When writing a story, it's not just about communicating with words. It's also about communicating through characters' body language and action. It's about what's not being said and the way it's not as much as what's on the page. So you'll probably become more aware of body language and when people are holding back something. Again, it may not be something you are fully conscious of, but it will probably happen.

On the other hand, functioning this way can be a problem and annoying. People may tell me something, and because I hear specificity automatically, I may hear something more than they intend. I once had a brief argument with a family member who said the grill was "broken," when in actuality, it turned on and worked all right, it just didn't get very hot. To that person, that meant "broken." To me "broken" means the grill doesn't work hardly at all and you can't cook anything on it. Once we realized this, we started laughing. But the reverse happens. I'll say something as specific as possible to someone else, but later get annoyed that they "misheard" me--in reality it's ridiculous for me to expect others to hear the exact same things I hear in words (at the time, I didn't realize this is what was happening, but now that I know, things are better). So, specificity is very important and helpful, but on the other hand, you have to keep in mind that most of the world isn't so specific when communicating.

5. You'll Be Able to Find and Predict Intangible Patterns and Outcomes Quicker

Much of storytelling deals with cause and effect, choices and outcomes, events and results, rising action, climax, and consequences. As the famous example goes, "The king died, and then the queen died," isn't a story, but "The king died, and then the queen died of a broken heart" is. Outcomes and consequences make story. As writers, we look at these relationships a lot: Why is this character doing this? (I need to go back and consider what caused this motivation). What if the love interest dies? (What are the outcomes of that?) When the antagonist is defeated, how will that change the world? (Consequences.) What is the origin of my protagonist's fears? (Cause.) Even within writing a scene, we may mentally be jumping to the past, considering the characters' or world's history, the future, what needs to happen to get to the climax, or even sideways, what is happening off page at the same time and how that will affect things. But we may only really be writing directly about the "present." As a result (see what I did there?), we are used to zooming out to look at the big picture within minutes of zooming in to look at the smallest picture. We look at cause and effect and how that result will go on and on into the future.

In the real world, that would seem to result in us being able to do the same thing more easily or quickly. Maybe we don't predict the stock market or weather, but we can probably pick up on cause and effect patterns on more human or societal levels. We might be able to predict more easily how someone is going to respond because it's easier for us to look at their choices and outcomes of the past. Sometimes it might seem like we just know. Factor into this the abilities to consider questions others may not, to listen better, and to bring vague things into specifics, and this can be an incredible and helpful asset.

This can happen on the small scale, like noticing a pattern in your child's behavior that gives you insight on how to parent them. Or it can happen on a much larger scale, like how public events and societal choices funnel into a new zeitgeist (or I guess the term I hear people use today is our societal "climate," which is essentially what "zeitgeist" means). After all, when we are creating our story's theme, we are essentially simulating the same thing.

6. You'll Become More Empathetic and Tolerant

Studies show that those who read are more empathetic. Isn't that great? And it makes complete sense. Literature is pretty much the only medium where you actually put on another person's "mind" and "body."

Now look at the writing process. You are essentially doing that twofold. Writers often have to know more things about their characters than the audience. In some stories, they may have to know their protagonist more personally than they know other people. And their antagonist often has to view themselves as the hero of their own story. Every time a writer is sitting down to write, they have to filter the story through a viewpoint character, they have to take on the thoughts, worldviews, body, and experiences of someone else, whether that person is a hero, villain, antihero, male, female, black, white, biracial, gay, straight, child, parent, thief, scapegoat, priest, drug addict, whatever. Even if the writer fails to convey that perspective exactly right, they are still actively engaging in the activity more often than most non-writers. If you are sincerely, genuinely trying to see the world from other people's perspectives over and over again, what's going to happen? You'll probably become more empathetic and tolerant.

Empathy is like a superpower. How many times do you hear people say some rendition of, "I wish someone understood me"? I hear it all the time. Empathy satisfies that. Empathy enables you to connect with and love all kinds of people as they are on a personal level. And when you are at that level, you can see better how to help others and what their needs are, whether that's with an understanding ear or offering sincere advice. But most of all, you can see better how to be genuinely kind to them. Empathy of course has its place and limitations, but this is one attribute that can for sure change the world. And when you share what you write, you will be helping others develop more empathy.

Like empathy, everything I've touched on here has its limitations, and these are all generalities (and concepts I'm trying to put words to). And I worry that in talking about the non-writing benefits of writing, that I've inspired arrogance. Rest assured that you are special . . . like everyone else. Really, like I said at the beginning, any skill you pursue at long-term will change you, even your thought patterns. So if this post makes you feel more confident, great! But you don't need to go marching around like you are better than non-writers. (Give me a break. The last thing we need in this industry is more elitism.) But my point is, pursuing writing will change you! As a side effect, it may give you skills you weren't even looking for. And that, my friends, is a wonderful thing--whether you publish or not.

There are of course loads of other benefits as well, such as developing perseverance, patience, self-discipline, precision . . . but I wanted to focus on skills related more closely to writing. It does help develop all those, but so do many, many other pursuits. And of course, there are negative effects that can happen as you pursue this, but that's for another day.

#writing tips #writing tip #writing tips and tricks #writing help #writing helps #fanfic #fanfiction #nanowrimo #writeblr #writingtips #author #editor #lifestyle

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argentdandelion · 5 years

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It’s Okay to Hate Alphys

Or: We All Have Favorite Characters For Different Reasons

In brief: It's impossible for everyone to have the same experiences, preferences and personality. So, when empathy, liking or "relatability" for fictional characters is based on that, it's Okay to Hate Alphys.

Made with the help of interviews from CinnamonAzzy, Cyanidelemonade, Cielenneige, Ihasafandom, The-keeper-of-round-things, Batter-sempai, Flyingwerekitty, Overdoseofdt, Saltedcarrots01, and Strongfish9-1.

Warning: Contains minor angst. The explanation as to why some fans hate Alphys may also be painful to those who identify with Alphys.

Why People Like Alphys

Undyne: "What is like about you is that you're PASSIONATE! You're ANALYTICAL!! It doesn't matter what it is! YOU CARE ABOUT IT!! 100-PERCENT! AT MAXIMUM POWER!"

Many people consider Alphys “likeable” and “relatable”. There’s a lot of overlap between the two, but a character that is “relatable” has similar traits or has been in similar situations to the reader, while being “likeable” can also mean the character embodies traits the reader admires (whether the reader also has those traits or not).

Alphys is not simply shy, but also very anxious. This personality flaw is a big factor on why people think she is "relatable”, as most viewers can recognize anxiety's place in their lives and are closely familiar with it. Her anxiety isn't her only problem: it's heavily implied she has depression and occasionally suicidal thoughts.1 Alphys's flaws are said to make her "realistic", and reflect the viewers themselves if they also have those mental problems. Alphys' general perpetual anxiety contributes to her other traits, too, such as her specific social anxiety, and wanting to please others with her inventions because she otherwise feels useless.

Alphys shares interests with a lot of people on Tumblr; on Tumblr a love of Japanese entertainment is probably more common than, say, stamp-collecting. Indeed, she doesn’t simply like anime, but is absolutely passionate about it; one fan even even calls it a “hyperfixation”. This similarity instantly makes people like her and empathize with her. Adding onto that, she shares particular character flaws with real people.

Meta-textually, one fan enjoyed that she was a woman (read: adult monster that goes by “she”) who was “imperfect” and “allowed to make mistakes”, especially a bi woman with a unique body type (e.g., a hunched-over, chubby dinosaur). The same fan also liked how she was allowed (meta-textually) to be geeky and brilliant, without making her conventionally attractive, and thought how she represented anxiety and depression was really important.

Why People Dislike Alphys

Mettaton CORE Speech: "Alphys has been playing you for a fool the whole time. As she watched you on the screen, she grew attached to your adventure. She desperately wanted to be a part of it. So she decided to insert herself into your story. She reactivated puzzles. She disabled elevators. She enlisted me to torment you. All so she could save you from dangers that didn't exist. All so you would think she's the great person...that she's not."

To other fans of Undertale, the very traits that make Alphys so “relatable” also make it difficult to empathize with her, or even like her.

A big part of Alphys’ character is her persistent high anxiety and low self-esteem. This likely motivates, causes, or contributes to other traits. One fan, despite liking how she gave representation for depression, found it sometimes “difficult to read”, and felt something akin to second-hand embarrassment because of it.

Though Alphys is desperate to have friends, her anxiety and low self-esteem pose big obstacles. (She may very well have imposter syndrome, in fact.) Some find her “clinginess” and desperation to have friends unappealing, or even embarrassing. Alphys was certainly hasty: one fan pointed out she outright took Frisk’s phone and added herself as Frisk’s friend on the Undernet, and the fan disapproved of this. (regardless of what Frisk thought)

To a degree, Alphys is also selfish: she never did anything maliciously and never wanted to hurt anyone, but she did, many times, because she was only thinking about how things would affect her. (e.g., the Amalgamates) One fan even claimed that, for all the good things she did, she didn’t do it out of “the goodness of her heart”. More specifically, she made Mettaton his body, but put off finishing it because she feared Mettaton would leave her when she was done, and though she helped Frisk through Hotland and the CORE, she set up many of the hazards and obstacles herself.

In contrast to Alphys’s apparently anxiety-driven desire to make herself useful to others, some fans find her habit of trying to making herself look better than she really is (despite being a mechanical genius already) unappealing. On a related note, she also lies and deceives, frequently, whether it’s to make herself look like a better, more likable, more competent person or just to avoid facing shame and disapproval. She tried to make herself look better than she really was with a “malfunctioning killer robot” scheme and by bringing up hazards and obstacles for Frisk, just so she could guide them through it and build her friendship with Frisk (as well as just play the hero).2 This was deceptive, as was lying to Asgore about making a robot with a soul and hiding away the Amalgamates from their families.

Though her flaws and passions are said to make her “realistic”, some fans consider her constant anxiety and characteristic anxious stuttering “realistic” in a bad way. Some fans prefer fictional works that omit the bad parts of reality, either because they’re painful reminders or simply because, in the case of stuttering, it’s annoying to have to read out. In fact, there are fans who feel annoyed not because she stutters, but because she stutters unrealistically.

Strangely enough, the very flaws and passions said to make her “realistic” also lead people to deride her for being a walking otaku stereotype. To be specific, she is not merely passionate about anime: she gushes on and on about her favorite anime, covers her room in posters, and collects anime figurines; she is also anxious, practically a shut-in, and eats ramen.3 (Contrast this to Undyne, who also loves anime) One fan, meta-textually, disapproves or dislike Alphys both in-universe and out-of-universe, viewing her as an example of the handsome Toby Fox's misuse of tropes.

Conclusion

Empathy, unlike compassion, requires figuratively “putting oneself in another’s shoes”, and it’s often dependent on whether others have had similar experiences. It could be that some people just have personalities or experiences that are too different from Alphys’ to empathize with her. Indeed, some people who had similar problems to Alphys (e.g., social anxiety, low self-esteem) responded to them differently from Alphys and disapprove of her actions, so even this similarity isn’t enough to identify with her.

Others emphasize with her, but not to the point of identifying with her or finding her "relatable". Some people thought Alphys’s choice of hiding the Amalgamates away was justifiable, or understandable. Other people point out that it wasn’t her fault all the monsters melted together, but still fault her for not disclosing what happened to the monsters’ families sooner.

Alphys is a complex character; her mixture of traits invoke a broad variety of reactions. Some reactions are a simple, “I love Alphys! She’s so relatable!”, or a “I don't really hate Alphys but I don't like her very much” or even a more nuanced “I sympathize with her issues, but she sure executed that poorly”.

Thus, one should remember: while hating a fictional character is harmless, one should always ask why one holds that opinion, and always remember there are consequences to being mean to real "Alphyses" of the world.

If either Mettaton or Undyne are killed in the Neutral endings, she "disappears". In the King Mettaton ending, she's nowhere to be found even though Mettaton certainly looked. If one calls Papyrus near Waterfall's abyss, Undyne will talk about meeting Alphys and haltingly says Alphys stared over the edge while looking “contemplative”. ↩︎

Not that different from Syndrome from The Incredibles making a killer robot just so he can defeat it, actually, though Frisk was never actually in danger. (and other parts of Syndrome's plan aren't like Alphys' at all) ↩︎

Full disclosure: the author of this article also fits some of these parameters, and loves cheap ramen. ↩︎

#Undertale #Alphys #Undertale Analysis #Undertale Meta #Undertale Character Analysis

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rawliverandcigarettes · 5 years

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Halfway Home Draft 2 - Past Thessia and Act 1

Hello people of the internet!

We are nearing the end of august and I am very happy to say I have rewritten the first act of Halfway Home! This bundle is what I call the Thessia part and is composed of 6 to 7 chapters (the seventh, which I’m currently rewriting, is transitional and more of a jump in Act 2 than a proper part of Act 1). I’m very glad I got there, though the holidays and the fact this part has always been the more roughened by edits and trials made the whole thing easier –some chapters were more of indepth edits than actual rewrites, which got stuff in motion faster.

Honestly, the whole thing has been a joy. While reworking the same parts over and over again tend to get tiring and start draining the enthusiasm out of stuff, especially after years, a new sort of contentment gets in the trail of dried-out passion, and it could boil down to appreciation for the journey behind, and a new comfort with the characters that allow to be a bit more merciless into getting them where they need to go without raw attachment getting in the way. So they get better because of my cold heart, and then I love them more than before even when they’re absolute shitheads, which they tend to be.

One of the things I’m most happy with in this Draft 2 so far is how Everybody Does Problematisms.

It was already the case before, but I wasn’t diving into people’s imperfections with as much glee as I do now. I feel I managed to nail a sense of people who are not necessarily bad or evil, but contradictory and driven by that need to find excuses for the part of themselves that’s a bit shit. All of them are like that now. Not one of them manages to avoid the Problematism. Shlee has gotten specifically caught in it, which makes him way more of an unreliable, opinionated person, and also makes him more entertaining as an MC to follow (I’m especially proud of the difference between his sober and drunk voice, and this is not getting less chaotic anytime soon). The interesting thing that happened is that Anetha got a bit more reasonable by contrast, as in they are balancing each other more now, and it’s pretty cool. I’m really happy about that non-judgmental narrative place the T’selvi family has gotten into, except maybe for Rhanda, which I understand better as a character but remains hard to convey well and with as much nuance, especially through the eyes of someone who imprinted on her and cannot help but be deeply moved by her sorrow while being somewhat terrified by her, and everything he can’t understand and she refuses to explain.

So yeah, a pleasure to revisit the family, my favorite chapter that I always have to write in one go during a full night or the magic isn’t there. But that was the easy part, really.

Re-attacking the Omega part, which is the bulkier and have been almost entirely re-outlined since the first draft, will be something else. Some characters got full revamps, other got unceremoniously kicked out, and some even joined the crew. It also means we’re back to the morally and emotionally harder chapters to pull off, hoping we do better this time while still capturing what needs to be transcribed on page and forgetting none of the messiness. It also means we’re back to Khocress, the batarians, Aria, and many more. I’m both very excited and nervous to go back there with that new, messier Shlee, as I will get a bit more astray from the “perfect victim” vibe that I had a little bit on the first draft and hated –I really hope I get him to have more agency, strong and meaningful moments of growth and regression, and also get him to do dumb shit because that absolute dumbass thinks he can get away with it and doesn’t understand being salarian doesn’t make him smart by nature in ways that matter. But what can I say, I love this carnage of an amphibian and the places I wish I can get him to honestly fill me with awe –conceptually at least, for as long as I won’t have to write this stuff for real.

But besides all the challenges of getting into this charged territory and starting to toy back with terrible concepts that feel too close to home in many ways, I’m also back to work after my vacation, and work is getting intense too –in the greatest possible way, I am so incredibly lucky to have this experience, such talented and professional colleagues with loads of vision, courage and excitement, and I recently got to experience moments that is literally what a lot of storytellers dream of their entire carriers, and I am so dang young. This nearly feels a bit unfair honestly? But yeah, so I am starting to be i n t o o d e e p and get very invested in my narrative work for that crazy big ambitious game we’re making, and a lot of themes and things that happen there also get to me pretty bad, so not being drained by the amazing day project to get back to the amazing night project will definitely pull a toll on my Halfway Home productivity. Not complaining, but already calling I will be late on my self-imposed deadlines. :3 (also i’m getting exciteeeed at the thought of people experiencing my shenanigans for themselves on such scale that is just insane??)

So yeah, feeling jiggity and optimist for my personal creative life right now (!!!), which feels amazing and very much not on-brand, too bad the world is literally on fire and fascism is consciously attempting to drain the oxygen out of us, but HEY maybe I’ll start to go to more protests and do more active things instead of hoping things will solve themselves now that I sort of can afford to? Maybe tomorrow. Also wish my health would be onboard with my mood and not fuck me up and get me impossibly tired, but we cannot have it all it seems, and I accept that honestly.

Hope stuff is good on your part too, or at least that you’re holding on and you feel able to make concrete plans for yourself for the near future to get to somewhere else. Otherwise that’s also fair, courage and strength to you regardless.

To conclude, here’s an extract from an unedited draft 2 to illustrate more of Shlee’s flavor to the table, hoping it isn’t actually terrible in disguise and I just haven’t noticed. From Chapter 5, work title “Hurry You Are Late”.

A light cough. The owner of the teashop, a tubular asari that barely ever spoke to him, would cough his way every hour or so, in hope he would have finished his order so she could clean the table of hardwood he always sat at and make it very explicit she expected him to leave. He showed her the cup, and the finger-deep liquid still frozen down there. She didn’t even bother nodding and disappeared in the backroom. Six months later and Shlee still wasn’t sure if she avoided him because he had to be the most frustrating customer ever or because his skin was a specific shade of not blue enough. Once she had asked with a syrupy tone if his holidays were going well and how long he planned on staying, but that was months before she had to accept their fates were sealed together for the time being. Shlee had considered going elsewhere, but to this day he still preferred the discomfort of known bigotry than unmapped social reactions. Plus the mousse-tea tasted divine, and he had to give credit where it was due –even though he wished he could drink it warm without being kicked out.

#halfway home #halfway there #writing #Mass Effect #shlee #anetha #rhanda #personal #wouuh being happy and optimist!#i still haven't slept!#some things never change!

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sol1056 · 6 years

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S7 data cronch pt2: get the hot dogs, the fandom’s on fire

Before I jump into the more tangled datasets, there’s something interesting I want to call out, and that’s the vlogs.

In September of last year, DW released vlogs for Coran, Keith, and Allura. A month later, we got vlogs for Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. Shiro’s vlog finally arrived on June, this year. That final vlog now shows a July date, but when it was first discovered, its posting date was 6/28. (I have no idea why it was changed. Ask @ptw30.)

In the first part, I mentioned audience engagement. The vlogs are a good object lesson. If we take the number of views divided by the number of days since posting, we get an idea of the daily ‘value’ of each vlog.

Shiro clocks in at 6877 views per day, while the next closest, Keith, has 4796 per day. Hey, so maybe that’s just everyone excited after waiting almost a year.

So, how about this graph?

Shiro has 4,293 comments. The next closest are Allura and Hunk, with 692 and 976, respectively. All told, Shiro got 1.5 times as many comments as all the rest of the characters together. Now that is audience engagement.

Alright, now that you’ve got a bit of data on which character clearly gets the fandom engaged and talking, let’s see what else we can learn about S7.

Hop to, behind the cut.

so about that twitter debacle

There’s no way to fully illustrate just how incomprehensibly bonkers twitter was for awhile. I know there’s a toxic side to the fandom that weaponizes twitter, but... in general, the VLD fandom isn’t noisy, compared to other fandoms. Daily counts range from 30-100 tweets. That makes it harder to tell when things go dead quiet, but it sure makes it easy to tell when things explode.

So let’s go back to the Sunday after S7 landed. For this season, I included sentiment analysis. At first I searched on #voltron, then I realized one of the trackers lets me go by keywords, so I did a comparative search on ‘voltron’. Hashtag use seemed to be for being seen by others, while keyword seemed to be more for conversation, reassurance, and reflection.

That’s... pretty strong, for both. And I honestly had never seen a twitter stream get a sentiment analysis as negative as the one on the right. After working my way through 11,889 tweets (from Aug 10th to the 25th), I can tell you one thing for certain.

Everyone was angry about something.

One group, predictably, was angry at being denied their long-awaited affirmation. A second was furious at the queerbaiting; that group overlapped with a third enraged at the Bury Your Gays trope. A fourth dismissed the BYG trope yet were angry at the lack of explicit relationship beyond a single break-up scene; that caused a few flare-ups between the 3rd and 4th groups for the latter treating Shiro as queer purely on his facebook status. A fifth group (oddly, calmer voices, for the most part) was upset at VLD��s treatment of Shiro in general, from his isolation to his tokenization.

On the other end of the spectrum, the majority of positives loved the season but were angry that others didn’t or wouldn’t. A much smaller percentage took their own shots: insisting children don’t need LGBT+ rep, calling LGBT+ fans entitled, telling DW not to pander, or complaining DW/Netflix had mixed politics and entertainment. (There’s an answer to the last one, but that’s for another post.)

I believe the technical term for Aug 10th-25th would be clusterfuck.

going deeper for context

Getting a clearer picture than the donut chart meant considering the context. In other words, for every seemingly-neutral tweet, I’d open the feed, and majority of the time I found threads voicing bitter disappointment, frustration, and hurt. These deeper threads almost never tagged anyone, and they tended to be more nuanced, compared to upper-level mentions loaded with easily-classed negative or positive keywords.

Here’s a snapshot of the twitter stream on August 10th, which includes metrics for those deeper contextual threads.

There’s just no way to spin that much of a backlash. By the end of the first day of release, the signs were already there that --- at least as far as the majority of the internet-based fandom was concerned --- S7 was an unmitigated disaster.

it’s just twitter, no one’s paying attention

That sounds like something a Boomer-aged exec might say. They’d also be wrong (not to mention ignorant).

Note: I used two different analysis apps. Both were rather blunt-force, rating “S7 wasn’t half bad” or “brutal but what I wanted” as negative, while "go to hell, I loved VLD but not anymore" was rated positive. One of the two apps let me re-evaluate, but it only allowed for negative-neutral-positive. (Lesson learned: set up a twitter scrape ahead of time, so I can run it all against a good AI.)

For this part, I used the second tracker and manually evaluated the values for ‘voltron’ mentions. Unfortunately, I had to rely on the tracker’s value for most non-English tweets. I designated ‘positive’ for explicitly pro-S7, and ‘negative’ explicitly con-S7. For any mentions that were ambiguous, incoherent, or personally-directed, I defaulted to neutral. My goal was to measure who was or wasn’t happy with the season itself, and not attacks on or support for the staff, DW, Netflix, or other people in the fandom.

With that madness done, here’s the entirety of August.

On the day of release, a total of 1853 mentions created a social media reach of 1.46 million. My next question was: is this low-influencer unhappiness vs high-influencer happiness, vice versa, or something else? This next chart is the data filtered down to influencers with a score of 7 or above (based on followers, retweets, and replies).

That’s 78 negative mentions, 16 positive, and the remainder neutral. All told, 194 mentions had a social media reach of 1.36 million. That’s a lot considering the voltron keyword usually has a social media reach of 50K, tops.

This was a groundswell reaction. The reach was driven by big voices, but the bulk were individuals unhappy for any of a variety of reasons. Any apology --- after four days of fever pitch --- was going to have an uphill fight to calm the crowd, no matter how gracefully it was written.

On the 14th -- when news outlets began reacting to JDS’ apology -- we got a second spike. 1573 mentions with a social media reach of 1.3 million; the new megaphones in the stream were news outlets promoting articles. (Also, most of their tweets are strongly click-bait in tone, compared to the actual article titles.)

If you googled ‘voltron legendary defender’ on the 14th, you got these results:

Voltron Showrunner Apologizes to Fans Following Outrage over Gay Character’s Storyline [Syfy Wire]

Voltron Showrunner Pens Open Apology Letter [The Mary Sue]

Voltron Showrunner Apologizes for Series' Handling of Gay Relationship {CBR}

Voltron's Complicated, Imperfect LGBQT Representation Is Tearing the Fandom Apart [In-Depth-Gizmodo]

Joaquim Dos Santos Shares Letter About Voltron Queer Representation [The Geekiary]

The ‘Voltron’ Showrunner Apologized For Making a Mess of the Show’s Gay Representation [Hornet]

Of course, Josh Keaton got sent out to calm the anger, too.

'Voltron' Star Josh Keaton On Season 7, Shiro's Sexuality, and How a Leader Grieves [Comicbook.com]

Shiro Voice Actor Responds to 'Voltron' Season 7 Controversy [Inverse]

Exclusive: Josh Keaton talks 'Voltron' season 7, Shiro's new arc, love and loss [Hypable]

You had to scroll past all that before you could get to anything remotely like a positive news item (and nowhere near the usual post-release deluge of compliments to the creators).

On Aug 15th, more articles:

Voltron: Legendary Defender’s Showrunner Offers a Genuine Apology to the Fandom [Gizmodo]

Voltron's Complicated, Imperfect LGBQT Representation Is Tearing The Fandom Apart [Kotaku Australia] (reprint)

Either these were latecomers, or DW was pulling out all the stops to hit every possible venue. Didn’t matter; the furor wasn’t dying down. Josh wasn’t sent out again, either. DW may’ve realized that ship had sailed (so to speak).

On Aug 16th, these articles appeared:

Voltron creator addresses fans over season 7's queerbaiting controversy [Polygon]

How “Voltron: Legendary Defender” Queerbaited Its Fans [NewNowNext]

Voltron showrunner apologises to fans after backlash over treatment of gay character [DigitalSpy]

Voltron: Legendary Defender showrunner apologises to fans after killing off gay character [PinkNews]

Why 'Voltron' fans are furious after season 7 [The Daily Dot]

Voltron Showrunner Apologizes for Season 7's Treatment of Gay Couple [ScreenRant]

'Voltron' Shiro: Stop Preemptively Outing Gay Characters To Generate Buzz [Inverse]

And it kept going through Aug 17, 2018.

Voltron: Legendary Defender Showrunner Joaquim Dos Santos Apologizes For Alleged Queer-bating Of Fans Over Handling Of Shiro’s Sexual Orientation [Inside Pulse]

Who's Sorry This Week? Lindsay Lohan, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and other public apologies [Mic]

Meanwhile, as of the 18th, the predictive algorithm for #voltron (the actual hashtag) was estimating +6% for the upcoming week, and +6% for the month. Not even half what S6 had in its first week after broadcast, but remember, the majority of S7′s traffic wasn’t happening on the hashtag. It was happening in mentions.

You might think from the above that things quieted by the 19th. You’d be wrong. It’s still going on. Keep in mind these pie charts are cumulative by month. On the left are the totals through the morning of Aug 22; on the right, the totals through the afternoon of Aug 25.

Midday on the 22nd, we had another spike, one large enough to offset that these are monthly totals, not daily. (The most likely culprit is the DW marketing gif that showed the scene where Adam dies, thus kicking the hornet’s nest all over again.)

As we entered the third week, the predictive algorithm for #voltron dropped to -1% for the month, and -5% for the week; for #vld, it’s -2% for the month and -6% for the week.

In fact, almost every related hashtag is predicted to drop in popularity and use over the next week or beyond. That includes:

voltronlegendarydefender, -2%

keithkogane, -8%

keith, -3%

shiro, -9%

lance, -6%

lancemcclain, -1%

takashishirogane, -20%

allura, -5%

princessallura, -10%

hunkgarrett, -6%

lotor, -4%

katieholt, -5%

Even ship names:

klance, -2%

shadam, -8%

adashi, -3%

plance, -2%

pidgance, -5%

sheith, -2%

lotura, -10%

kallura, -1%

The exceptions? allurance (4%) and pidge (1%).

It took a bombshell EP interview to knock S6 off its upward rise. This time around, the fall looks more like people tiring of the fight and checking out.

one more part coming

Thanks to the additional manipulations I did on twitter this season, this section took more words (and I cut it down from walking you through every agonizing step, no need to thank me for sparing you). I’ve also added a new dataset, and that pushed the total word count beyond even my long limit.

I’ve broken the last part out, where i’ll cover the long-term impact and possible fallout of S7.

#vld #voltron #doing the data cronch #sol thinks about stuff

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