#wouuh being happy and optimist!

[rawliverandcigarettes]

Halfway Home Draft 2 - Past Thessia and Act 1

Hello people of the internet!

We are nearing the end of august and I am very happy to say I have rewritten the first act of Halfway Home! This bundle is what I call the Thessia part and is composed of 6 to 7 chapters (the seventh, which I’m currently rewriting, is transitional and more of a jump in Act 2 than a proper part of Act 1). I’m very glad I got there, though the holidays and the fact this part has always been the more roughened by edits and trials made the whole thing easier –some chapters were more of indepth edits than actual rewrites, which got stuff in motion faster.

Honestly, the whole thing has been a joy. While reworking the same parts over and over again tend to get tiring and start draining the enthusiasm out of stuff, especially after years, a new sort of contentment gets in the trail of dried-out passion, and it could boil down to appreciation for the journey behind, and a new comfort with the characters that allow to be a bit more merciless into getting them where they need to go without raw attachment getting in the way. So they get better because of my cold heart, and then I love them more than before even when they’re absolute shitheads, which they tend to be.

One of the things I’m most happy with in this Draft 2 so far is how Everybody Does Problematisms.

It was already the case before, but I wasn’t diving into people’s imperfections with as much glee as I do now. I feel I managed to nail a sense of people who are not necessarily bad or evil, but contradictory and driven by that need to find excuses for the part of themselves that’s a bit shit. All of them are like that now. Not one of them manages to avoid the Problematism. Shlee has gotten specifically caught in it, which makes him way more of an unreliable, opinionated person, and also makes him more entertaining as an MC to follow (I’m especially proud of the difference between his sober and drunk voice, and this is not getting less chaotic anytime soon). The interesting thing that happened is that Anetha got a bit more reasonable by contrast, as in they are balancing each other more now, and it’s pretty cool. I’m really happy about that non-judgmental narrative place the T’selvi family has gotten into, except maybe for Rhanda, which I understand better as a character but remains hard to convey well and with as much nuance, especially through the eyes of someone who imprinted on her and cannot help but be deeply moved by her sorrow while being somewhat terrified by her, and everything he can’t understand and she refuses to explain.

So yeah, a pleasure to revisit the family, my favorite chapter that I always have to write in one go during a full night or the magic isn’t there. But that was the easy part, really.

Re-attacking the Omega part, which is the bulkier and have been almost entirely re-outlined since the first draft, will be something else. Some characters got full revamps, other got unceremoniously kicked out, and some even joined the crew. It also means we’re back to the morally and emotionally harder chapters to pull off, hoping we do better this time while still capturing what needs to be transcribed on page and forgetting none of the messiness. It also means we’re back to Khocress, the batarians, Aria, and many more. I’m both very excited and nervous to go back there with that new, messier Shlee, as I will get a bit more astray from the “perfect victim” vibe that I had a little bit on the first draft and hated –I really hope I get him to have more agency, strong and meaningful moments of growth and regression, and also get him to do dumb shit because that absolute dumbass thinks he can get away with it and doesn’t understand being salarian doesn’t make him smart by nature in ways that matter. But what can I say, I love this carnage of an amphibian and the places I wish I can get him to honestly fill me with awe –conceptually at least, for as long as I won’t have to write this stuff for real.

But besides all the challenges of getting into this charged territory and starting to toy back with terrible concepts that feel too close to home in many ways, I’m also back to work after my vacation, and work is getting intense too –in the greatest possible way, I am so incredibly lucky to have this experience, such talented and professional colleagues with loads of vision, courage and excitement, and I recently got to experience moments that is literally what a lot of storytellers dream of their entire carriers, and I am so dang young. This nearly feels a bit unfair honestly? But yeah, so I am starting to be  i n  t o o  d e e p  and get very invested in my narrative work for that crazy big ambitious game we’re making, and a lot of themes and things that happen there also get to me pretty bad, so not being drained by the amazing day project to get back to the amazing night project will definitely pull a toll on my Halfway Home productivity. Not complaining, but already calling I will be late on my self-imposed deadlines. :3 (also i’m getting exciteeeed at the thought of people experiencing my shenanigans for themselves on such scale that is just insane??)

So yeah, feeling jiggity and optimist for my personal creative life right now (!!!), which feels amazing and very much not on-brand, too bad the world is literally on fire and fascism is consciously attempting to drain the oxygen out of us, but HEY maybe I’ll start to go to more protests and do more active things instead of hoping things will solve themselves now that I sort of can afford to? Maybe tomorrow. Also wish my health would be onboard with my mood and not fuck me up and get me impossibly tired, but we cannot have it all it seems, and I accept that honestly.

Hope stuff is good on your part too, or at least that you’re holding on and you feel able to make concrete plans for yourself for the near future to get to somewhere else. Otherwise that’s also fair, courage and strength to you regardless.

To conclude, here’s an extract from an unedited draft 2 to illustrate more of Shlee’s flavor to the table, hoping it isn’t actually terrible in disguise and I just haven’t noticed. From Chapter 5, work title “Hurry You Are Late”.

A light cough. The owner of the teashop, a tubular asari that barely ever spoke to him, would cough his way every hour or so, in hope he would have finished his order so she could clean the table of hardwood he always sat at and make it very explicit she expected him to leave. He showed her the cup, and the finger-deep liquid still frozen down there. She didn’t even bother nodding and disappeared in the backroom. Six months later and Shlee still wasn’t sure if she avoided him because he had to be the most frustrating customer ever or because his skin was a specific shade of not blue enough. Once she had asked with a syrupy tone if his holidays were going well and how long he planned on staying, but that was months before she had to accept their fates were sealed together for the time being. Shlee had considered going elsewhere, but to this day he still preferred the discomfort of known bigotry than unmapped social reactions. Plus the mousse-tea tasted divine, and he had to give credit where it was due –even though he wished he could drink it warm without being kicked out.

#halfway home #halfway there #writing #Mass Effect #shlee #anetha #rhanda #personal #wouuh being happy and optimist! #i still haven't slept! #some things never change!