#and it's also very similar to how i've been treated before in some places that i've traveled to

[tainbocuailnge]

Hey, sorry to send an ask without us knowing each other 😅

But I just saw you in the tags in the post about jrpg translations, saying that FF14 has better translations in other languages.

Can you talk more about that?😊

I played in English before and it was okay. I tried German too, but was a bit disappointed. So hearing you say that, I'm genuinely curious to hear more!

I've been replaying msq in german and wrapped up tsukuyomi just yesterday and it's insane the extent to which german is more thematically consistent and has stronger and more nuanced characterisation than english. i think the german script is more poetic too, despite english trying so much harder to sound flowery and important. I've been translating bits and pieces to my friends and I keep feeling like I'm presenting them with that botched jesus painting restoration because I just don't know how to convey how beautifully constructed some of these sentences are. the german translation team are genuinely very good writers.

as an example of what kind of differences we're dealing with here, and since it's what I finished most recently, in german from the start there's a lot more emphasis on how it was systematic mistreatment from the "good old" doma that lead yotsuyu to where she is, and that her cruelty is specifically retribution for the way doma has failed her (as opposed to english trying to frame it as in large part to satisfy her personal sadistic impulses). gosetsu is repeatedly shown to be sympathetic towards her for this even while she's actively trying to hurt and kill him (as opposed to english having him be sarcastically dismissive of her), which makes it make way more sense that he'd take tsuyu in his care later even without the "also she reminds him of his dead daughter" bit (that they do still tack on at the end but doesn't feel like a handwave excuse as much because of aforementioned consistent sympathy).

in english hien has several lines showing he's hostile to and wary of tsuyu and waiting for the right opportunity to kill her, but in german hien brings up killing tsuyu one (1) time and when gosetsu argues for her right to live hien agrees, and the difficulty in keeping her around is not his personal dislike but that it's hard to guarantee her safety when the doman people will want violent retribution in turn (in clear parallel to lyse trying to keep fordola from getting lynched without a fair trial). because german hien is not constantly talking about how he wishes he could just kill yotsuyu for her crimes, it doesn't read as pathetically incompetent of him to let her sneak out of the mansion multiple times because he was treating her as harmless citizen of doma instead of an enemy of the state (because german in general emphasises a lot that she SHOULD have had a place in doma), and her backstory is taken seriously as part of his motivation to create a better doma that she perhaps could've had a peaceful life in

there are many cases like this where german displays a nuance that english doesn't, and from very early on. in english arr cid ran away from the empire out of moral disagreements, in german it's clear that he also holds a complicated resentment over losing his father to project meteor and then his replacement father figure gaius to a similar mad search for power, something that in english doesn't come up until all the way in shadowbringers with bozja. in english castrum meridianum livia says she's going to kill you because gaius is hers, in german she's mad at you because you killed her friend mr cape westwind and is going to kill you before you can take gaius from her too.

in german heavensward thordan sounds much more convinced of his principles. when you defeat him in english he's horrified of how you could possibly overcome the amount of faith he's powered by, in german he's horrified that the future of ishgard will be thrown into chaos in the name of your pursuit of truth. gaius sounds more convinced of the ideals he spouts too, and it feels more plausible that he has people willing to die for him and his ideals. in german the similarities between nidhogg and estinien are clearer, and when nidhogg possesses him he insidiously frames it as an act of kindness.

in german, many random moments of misogyny in the english script outright don't exist. matoya doesn't make fun of alphinaud for looking like a girl. alphinaud isn't dismissive of alisaie in binding coils. most of the lines in english that insult or dismiss yotsuyu as an evil whore don't exist in german, and lines that weren't about her at all in english turn out to express sympathy towards her in german. in english hydaelyn had minfilia fuse with her by force, in german it was minfilia's idea. in english i was bothered by lyse being made head of the resistance because she sounds so unsure of what to do and think right until the end, in german she's full of conviction and clarity of purpose. I'm sincerely convinced the english team hates women.

because german doesn't go out of its way to sound like some kind of ancient wizard prophecy at every turn, several scenes which in english were confusing convey their information clearly in german (I'm particularly thinking about the minfilia anitower scene here). characters talk clearly and with a lot of personality that english fails to achieve because everyone has to speak faux old english. and because most characters talk like real people instead of ancient wizards in german it's extra cute that urianger does in fact talk like an ancient wizard.

as a more personal gripe, I have noticed several moments where the english script centers the warrior of light and their importance and struggles, while in german those scenes where about, like, the character the scene is about. german wol is still hydaelyn's favourite freak of nature and everyone loves them obviously, but as the example most fresh in my memory there's the scene in early post-stb where you visit fordola in her cell and she unwillingly looks into wol's past thanks to her fake echo. in english, she asks wol how they can bear all the suffering other people have put them through. in german, she asks how wol manages to stay sane when the echo makes you so deeply aware of the suffering of others. in the flashback of her past you see in that scene the german script also mentions that her face tattoo is an ala mhigan design, which makes it clearer than it was in english that she was specifically trying to rise the ranks of the imperial military as ala mhigan and makes her motivations more coherent - namely wanting to prove both the ala mhigans who hated her for being garlean and the garleans who hated her for being ala mhigan wrong by achieving success as both (and the power to lash out at both).

there have been very, very few moments where I actually thought the english script was better (shiva's trial lines and like, one line hien says at the steppe, that's it), and the vast majority of the time german is anywhere from about the same quality as english to just insanely better. the english script is so concerned with sounding cool and important that it becomes scared of letting characters be motivated by emotion. it's plagued by the kind of insincerity and insecurity that plagues so much of western media and leads to movie superheroes making fun of their own costumes. the english script will write one good line and then keep repeating that line ad nauseam and yet still fail to achieve the amount of internal thematic consistency the german script has, because english is relying on this handful of cool lines to carry its emotional core instead of actually letting the emotional core drive the characters. combined with the consistent pattern of dumbing down and/or vilifying female characters frankly I want to beat koji fox with hammers.

I'm actually very curious what about the german script disappointed you. the german voice acting is not good so if that's what turned you off I completely get it (I play with jp voices myself) but that's separate from the actual writing. these kind of things will ultimately always come down to personal preference so i won't judge but as you can tell from these several paragraphs i feel very strongly about the quality of the german script so I find it hard to imagine why you think that

#riverrabbits #king of asks #efksiv #ffxiv

[russellsppttemplates]

Soon enough (Lance Stroll)

There are many different ways to start a family, and Lance and Y/N are hopefully starting their own

Note: english is not my first language. This piece is written from experiences I know (my mother's, specifically), so it is probable that there are some mistakes as I'm not a doctor. Either way, I've tried to treat this as respectfully as possible as this is very close to my heart. Am I really giddy for the follow up parts? Yes, I am!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions endometriosis, fertility issues and treatments and associated topics like blood, medicine, hospitals, needles, etc., male masturbation, pregnancy

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"It's just going to be negative, Lance", you mumbled, placing the stick on top of the counter and turning to the tap to ways your hands. "Then we'll know what to look for, sweetheart", he attempted, knowing how much the subject weighed on your chest.

When you decided it was time to start thinking about building your family, you and Lance went back to Dr. Marlin like she had asked you. Given your endometriosis, she wanted to accompany you in your fertility journey, checking out all of the possibilities before you moved on to bigger situations.

Lance had been the most supportive partner, always there to cheer you on and to hold you whenever things didn't work out, "Dr. Marlin said that if this didn't work, we are moving on to the big treatments", you looked at him, "and that's what we will do if you want, whenever you feel comfortable", he kissed the side of your head after pulling you close to him, "we're in this together, Y/N".

Grabbing the test when your phone beeped, you didn't even flinch, "negative, like I said", you mumbled, your top lip trembling as you hid your face in your husband's neck. As much as you expected it, it still hurt. Like any other couple wanting to start parenthood, you wanted to remember this period of your life fondly, but you also knew you weren't any other couple. You weren't alone, and since you became more invested in learning about your condition, you found out about all the other couples who had been through the same and their happy families, remembering someone with a very similar history to yours.

"I love you, Y/N, so much. I love you and we're going to have our own family, my love", Lance whispered in your ear, "we're in this together until the end, whatever it takes", he soothed, kissing your skin and hugging you tight against him.

"Do you have any meetings today?", you asked as you pulled away a few moments later, wiping your tears on your sleeve, "I have one at the end of the day, and I'm free for the rest of the week", Lance informed, "I have to get to work for the afternoon only, my morning is free too", you sniffed.

"Then I can call Dr. Marlin to book an appointment and you can go and get ready because we are going on a walk. It's a very quiet one, I doubt we'll run into anyone, okay?", he suggested, smiling when he saw your lips curve upwards slightly, "you're the best. I love you, Lance", you kissed his lips, walking out the bathroom and into the bedroom while he made the phone call.

.

"Do you need a blood sample?", you asked the assistant on the counter, "no, today it's just an ultrasound, and after that you might have to come in for other samples, just depends on how the appointment goes today", she smiled, "Dr. Marlin will call you shortly".

Sitting next to Lance as you waited, you grabbed his hand and started playing with in fingers on top of his thigh, "are you ready to hear that my uterus is a sad sad place for a baby to grow and that not even your guys want to stay in there? We've known eacother for a good while, so I thought we'd befriended, but apparently they're either too snobby or my uterus is a very hostile place", you joked, hoping that it would shake your nerves off, "too much?", you cringed.

"That's not the weirdest thing you've said to me", your husband chuckled, "and I'll listen to anything you say as long as it makes you smile", he cupped your cheek, "besides, who knows? Maybe my guys are also picky, or slow".

Dr. Marlin welcomed you in her office not long after, greeting you and confirming the informations she had, "like we discussed before, it seems that our best approach would be treatments like IVF. For that, of you still want to go for that route, we'll need some samples so we can also rule out any questions from Lance and see where your levels are", she said, getting up, "for today, we'll do the ultrasound as this will also given us more information".

Getting up and laying down on the bed, Lance followed you, standing on your side as you lifted your shirt enough for her to squeeze the gel and move the wand around, "see here? This is your fallopian tube, and it seems the most blocked, while your uterus is actually shedding well enough", she explained, pointing to the different spots on the screen.

"And is that good or bad? I mean, given the circumstances", you questioned, "I can't tell you with absolute certainty, as everyone is different, but this is usually a good sign. It means that it's your eggs that are not travelling to the uterus, and not like you have a low count or that they don't have a good place to settle once fertilised", she smiled, "I'm prescribing you the bloodwork and the samples we need, but after that, if everything checks out, we'll wait for your period and then we'll start couting from there".

.

"It's time for the shot, sweetheart", Lance called, grabbing the supplies he needed as you sat on the sofa. Even though you were fine doing it by yourself, having Lance doing the injections when he was home helped him feel involved in the process. "You can leave that there, then I can just pick it up after you take the needle out", you noted, placing the gauze in your thigh.

Lance tapped the syringe twice to make sure it was at the right level, kneeling down in front of you, "I'm just going to pinch your tummy, is this side, right?", he confirmed, seeing you nod, "are you ready, love?", he checked over before injecting the medicine on your skin, holding the syringe steady for a little bit before pulling it out, discarding it in the medical waste bin Dr. Marlin had given you while you dealt with the burn.

"This one is burning a lot more than I expected", you moaned, squeezing your eyes shut as the stung softened, feeling Lance's lips on your tummy and right by your hand that was pressing the gauze down, "you're very brave, Y/N, I love you".

"I love you too, handsome", you cradled his face, rubbing his stubbly cheek before helping him store the supplies for the next injection time, "we only have four days left", you smiled, looking at the medicine vials.

"Soon enough, Y/N, soon enough", he kissed your forehead, hugging carefully to not press on your tender lower belly, "you're so amazing all I keep doing is just that, but you're taking it all in, it's your body going through the changes", he kissed your softly.

"You're the one dealing with these hormonal changes, I still can't believe I cried when your sister showed up at the table with the pie a little bit more golden that it usually is. It wasn't burnt and it tasted amazing as usual, but the sight of it not done like usual sent me in a fit of cries", you blushed. Chloe was understanding like you expected her to be, but you still couldn't shake her panicked few seconds when she saw your tears, calling her brother immediately so he could hug you and soothe you.

"It's part of the process, love, and I want to be here for as much as I'm able", he said, interrupted by the sound of your phone going off, "it's Dr. Marlin, let me put in on speaker".

The phone call couldn't have gone better, "Y/N, I've reviewed the scans and it looks really good, keep up with the rest of the treatment and next week we'll look into the retrievals", she announced.

.

"This wasn't the way we were supposed to make a baby", you mumbled, "I should be getting naked and we'd be in our bed, and we'd whisper how much we love eachother and then we'd cuddle in said bed, not with me in a procedure room and you in another, in these cold and sterile sheets", you looked up at Lance.

You were back in the clinic so the doctors could collect both samples, and while you've had the years to prepare for this, and with therapy it was something you had worked over, sometimes you were still plagued by these thoughts.

Fortunately, your husband knew just what to say, "it's not the usual way, yes, but it's filled with love nonetheless. You're putting yourself through procedures after your body had been medicated with injections, and that is love. For out little one who we will hopefully hold in our arms when the time comes, love for our family and love for me. You're going to make me a father because of this amount of love you're showing me and that we share, okay?", he smiled soothingly, kissing your forehead, "no more of those worries, okay? Besides, we'll have loads of time for you to touch me and for me to touch you", he winked, helping you turn around so he could help you with the gown's tie.

Kissing your forehead goodbye once the nurses came to take you, Lance was then pulled to a room for himself, "all of the supplies you need are there", she pointed to the sterile table, leaving him alone in the room. Masturbating in a hospital room was not something he ever thought about doing. It wasn't that you weren't there with him, because he certainly had done it many times whenever he travelled for races and you weren't there, so he figured it was the white walls, plain in a room that only had the purpose he was in there for too. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he found the photo album of pictures of you he kept for these occasions. The collection was built along the years you've dated, usually ending up on his phone whenever you both felt particularly daring and in need of the other and you weren't physically able to satisfy it. The picture he used, however, was one he had taken himself. The picture was probably three months old as he had taken in on your anniversary, your naked side profile as you looked sweetly at the camera. You hadn't done anything big to celebrate it, opting instead for staying in and spending your time between the sheets working on your shared dream of a family. And that's exactly what he was doing right now, stroking himself as he recalled the sweet noises you make that he adores so much, the way you feel around him and how your body feels in his hands, soon collecting his finish in the sterile cup.

Making sure it was sealed tight and then washing his hands, Lance fixed himself and walked out of the room, heading up to the desk and handing his sample to the nurse, "there you go", he began, seeing her store it in a cooler like box, "I'm sorry to bother, but do you have any news on my wife?", he wondered, "Y/N's procedure seems to be concluded", the nurse looked at the monitor in front of her, "they're probably just finishing up and she'll be up in her room any minute. Do you want me to walk you there?".

"I think I still remember the way, thank you though", Lance smiled, walking along the corridors until he found the room you had been in. He sat in the comfortable chair, smiling when he saw your colourful fuzzy socks waiting on your bag, remembering reading reports from other women saying that their feet were cold after the retrieval, and since you weren't a big fan of the cold, Lance made sure to pack them for you.

The noise in the corridor caught his attention as the nurse that had wheeled you to the procedure room came back, wheeling you back inside, "she's still a bit sleepy, but the procedure went well. Dr. Marlin said that, at first glance, everything is right on track", she smiled as she noticed Lance's worry fade, "we will be both here in a bit so we can discharge her, but if something happens meanwhile, there's a bell there", she pointed, excusing herself and closing the door behind her.

Turning to face you, Lance kissed your cheek as you fluttered your lashes, "hey, sleepy girl", he cooed, prompting you to fully open your eyes, "I heard you did really well in there", he admitted proudly.

"Yes, they said something about a good number of eggs, I think I might've compared myself to a chicken, so you know, good things", you giggled, looking for his hand to hold, "thank you, for all this", you kissed his knuckles, "no need to thank me, we're in this together, sweetheart".

After explaining you the signs you should look out for, the medical team discharged you and off home you went with Lance.

.

Since you got the call to book the embryo transfer day, you and Lance had been cautiously hopeful with the results, "Lance, Y/N, I'm happy to say that we have 10 embryos to work with. They have developed healthily and without any complications", Dr. Marlin cheered.

"Let's go get a baby put inside of me, hm?", you stepped out of the car, holding Lance's hand as you walked to the door. Checking in was quick and you were almost immediately welcomed into the procedure room, sitting in the bed and covering yourself as requested.

"I imagine I'm looking very sexy", you joked in a way to deal with the nerves, "you always look the sexiest to me", your husband kissed the side of your head, resting his forehead in yours, "we're finally here, my love, you've got this, we've got this", he whispered, almost terrified that of he spoke any louder he would disturb the mood.

You heard a knock on the door, Dr. Marlin and her colleague walking in wheeling a small cart, "we have your embryos here", she pointed to the environment where they had been developing. As they rearranged the room, they pushed a highchair by your side, telling Lance he could sit in there while they worked, "so, Y/N, you shouldn't feel too much pain, rather some pressure as we make the transfer", she said as she maneuvered the small catheter, her colleagues guiding the ultrasound as you looked at Lance, finding the usual calm in his brown eyes.

"That was very well placed, actually the perfect spot", Dr. Marlin said, smiling behind her mask as he removed the devices and covered you up. "It's done", she empathised, rubbing your shoulder and hugging you, "now you're just going to stay here for 10, 15 minutes or so, to make sure everything settles", she excused herself, leaving you and Lance in the room.

"We made a baby and they're inside of you", Lance choked out. Throughout this process, he had always been the strong one, the one to hold you whenever you didn't want to do the injection because it hurt too much, whenever you felt like crap from the meds and whenever you lost hope, but today he cried for the first time, bringing tears to your own, "I'm so happy, I promise these are happy tears", he chuckled, "I always say that I'm the luckiest guy because you love me, at my best and t my worst, and today you proved it to me once again. I really am the luckiest", he kissed your lips, salty tears in the mix while you waited.

"We'll see you in two weeks for the test, okay?", your OB waved goodbye after giving you two big hugs, "thank you, once more", you spoke, forever grateful for the way she led you through this whole journey.

Driving home was quiet and comfortable, your seat adjusted so you didn't have as much pressure on your abdominal area, "They really should get this holes sorted, they've been here for a while now and they're only getting worse", Lance mumbled, "I'm sorry, sweetheart", he apoligised as he slowed down the car as much as it was safe to, "it's fine, it doesn't hurt or anything", you justified, not seeing the need to be so careful.

Blushing, your husband passed all the holes, the concrete now smooth as he drove faster again, "can't give any more shakes to the little bun, you know? Making sure they stay glued to the wall and all", he said sweetly, hopefully bringing lightness to the situation as you pouted at his cuteness.

"I love you, Lance. There's no one else I'd want to do this with", you stretched your hand, landing on his thigh as his own hand travelled to your tummy, rubbing it softly and hoping that your family was growing inside of you.

#lance stroll imagine #lance stroll fanfic #lance stroll fluff #lance stroll x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

[genderkoolaid]

is it weird to feel like i was still treated/classed as a faggot before even knowing i was a boy (i'm transmasc)? i was never called a dyke or derisively called a lesbian or any of that. but i was a tomboy, always was. and i was always heavily derided for crying or "being a crybaby," derided by boy and tomboy friends if i ever liked any Girly Things with comments like "that's so gay (derogatory)", and being masculine but still interested in boys was regarded as this weird and disgusting thing. it's like being a tomboy and, for at least for a part of my life that being accepted, i had this expectation of masculinity placed on me that led to me being castigated by my peers for stepping outside it.

there were still expectations placed on me for "being a girl" and i was punished for not doing that correctly and i experienced heaps of misogyny, but there are so many instances in my life where i was specifically punished for being a tomboy who wasn't masculine in the right way but instead in a gay way. i never felt targeted by anti-lesbian sentiment but always felt very heavily targeted by anti-gay man sentiment. but despite desiring my whole life to be a boy i didn't truly know and accept that i was one until i was 18 and didn't start living as a man until i was 20

idk man my experience with gender growing up was always so weird and confusing and people's assumptions about what i Must Have Experienced based on agab and identity are always incorrect and it's just so incredibly alienating.

I've heard things very similar to this from a lot of trans(+) people. I myself have been out since I was very young and spent the majority of my life openly (gender)queer which definitely shaped how I experienced gender socialization.

This is the problem with using socialization as a Gender Binary 2: Its Inclusive Now! While there are broad trends, people can have such wildly different relationships with gender. Some trans people have always felt targeted based on their assigned sex, some people have always felt targeted based on their gender identity, some people have felt both.

The thing about the patriarchy is that it's a liar and you should never trust anything it says. The patriarchy claims to be a strict gendersex binary for control purposes, but it also must grapple with the existence of queers (gays, trannys, intersex folks) whose existence proves that what it claims to be natural is constructed. Because the ways in which misogyny and transphobia actually function are not tied down by any logic other than "stay in control." Demonizing queer&trans+ people for being "monstrous" for blurring the boundaries between (cishet) men and (cishet) women is like, alongside misogyny, a core part of how gender oppression works. Whenever people expect us to have the exact same experiences as cis people, whether based on gender identity or agab or socialization, they are trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

#m. #ask box

[maddiviner]

A person can worship a goddess and still be a raging misogynist.

I see this all the fucking time, too, and the "b-but I'm pagan!" line does get trotted out.

Yeah, no. I don't care how devoted you (claim you) are to Hecate/Freya/Babalon etc, I care how you treat flesh-and-blood people.

You can't pretend that "worshiping a goddess" makes someone, by default, not a misogynist. I see guys who have a (weird) notion of "divine femininity;" a perfect nurturing caregiver of sorts. They then get irate when a woman won't take that role for them.

They expect a (very narrowly-defined) goddess, and when they don't get one, they get mad. I end up reading their rants online as a bystander. A lot of these guys will claim the woman has somehow betrayed them, isn't pagan enough, or is an evil supernatural being?! Vampire? It's sometimes something like that.

On another note? Many transphobes are also very loud about how they "worship goddesses." They're, of course, equally loud about their disrespect for women, though. There's some "trad pagan" types, too (or whatever they're now called) who believe in goddesses - but also believe that women belong in the kitchen.

So yeah. Don't assume someone's safe and not bigoted simply because they worship Demeter or whoever. Don't let them claim that their goddess patron absolves any shitty behavior. This is a thing that keeps popping up, and I think people should be mindful of it. Don't let people like the above act as if worshiping Minerva, Aphrodite, or Juno (or whoever) gives them a free pass to be a bigot.

Also? A whole fucking civilization can worship goddesses and still be a terrible place for women.

That doesn't mean that those pantheons are misogynistic. It also doesn't mean that those reconstructing the religions are misogynists. It means that it's possible to have systemic goddess worship and misogyny together.

Don't give me that "b-but in some very specific scenarios, rich women could even *gasps of joy* own property!" either. Don't act like the mere existence of priestesses meant women there held great power, or even that the priestesses themselves necessarily did.

You can't take that kind of thing to mean that your average woman had basic rights in some of these pagan societies. In some cases, that was the case, yeah, but it's hardly been the majority. From what I've read over the years, a lot of it depended on wealth and status.

Even in Ancient Athens (pre-Pericles), women weren't considered citizens, exactly. They could take part in some religious ceremonies, but not most. While they had some financial freedom, they were generally relegated to domestic roles.

Colette Hemingway from the Metropolitan Museum describes this as "extreme social restraint." It doesn't sound like I'd want to live in that kind of civilization, even if I had modern creature comforts. It's similar elsewhere in the ancient world. Not everywhere, but enough places. Don't pretend otherwise.

Much of our history has included misogyny. This isn't a new thing. It was part of paganism. It unfortunately still is. Pretending "we were all considered equal before the Christians came" is disingenuous. And yeah, I've heard people make that exact claim in pagan places.

#pagan #paganism #witchblr #witchcraft #witch #eliza.txt #occult #misogyny #feminism #goddess #goddess worship #diana #history #gender #ugh #be aware and beware #safety #assumptions

[sorcerersandskillusers]

A look at the struggles Atsushi faces throughout the series, and how he grows to resent the justice he was forced to learn. As well as his connections and contrasts with Akutagawa.

Atsushi is very different from a typical protagonist, who try's to save everybody they can, and never wants to kill anyone. Because he didn't develop this mindset from an inspiring, kind mentor; or from some innate sense of justice, or even from just his own hardships.

It was literally beaten into him through his whole childhood.

graphic depiction of abuse ahead:

Atsushi is compelled to help people. I defiantly think part of it is that he is just a kind person in general, but It is also a compulsion that he cannot refuse.

He is forced to disregard his own feelings and safety, he suffers so much pain, but he can never refuse, which is why he views it as a curse.

In BSD killing is not treated with the same 'good people can never, ever be willing to kill someone' that a lot of shows treat it as.

The entire ADA minus Kunikida was willing to try and kill Mori to save Fukuzawa. Fukuzawa has killed in the past, and told Kunikida to shoot Dazai if he sensed any evil in his heart(Dazai Osamu's Entrance Exam). Kunikida has been shown to be willing to kill if absolutely necessary

I point this out to show that Atsushi's refusal to kill is not just 'because he's a good guy and would never do that'. We see in BEAST that, if twisted a bit, he can be made to kill without hesitation. His refusal to kill comes from a much darker place, and makes him a perfect foil to...

Akutagawa.

Akutagawa and Atsushi have incredibly similar histories, It's literally spelled out in BEAST that the two of them have more in common then they have with anyone else. Both children raised in hell. But there was one key difference, The value they saw in the lives of others.

I've already talked about how Atsushi was raised to think that his own life had no worth, and only the lives of others mattered. But for Akutagawa it was the opposite. He grew up in the slums, where every stranger was a potential threat to him, his friends and sister. He had to learn to kill without hesitation, and to see no value in anyone else's life.

Dazai only made this worse, telling Akutagawa that if he couldn't defeat anyone in his path, that he had no right to live. And brutally punishing any sign of weakness.

Both Akutagawa and Atsushi search desperately for validation, and the right to keep living. They walk on opposite sides of a mirror, each only seeing half the picture, neither willing to see themself in the other.

Which is why they can both show the other exactly what they need to see.

The two of them hate each other so much because they are the same ,they each embody what the other most hates about himself and this is why they can each teach to other to overcome that hatred and to see the whole picture they were both denied as children.

Their growth over this past few arcs; with The death of the orphanage director, Akutagawa that killing everything won't solve all his problems, Atsushi having to stand up and pull himself together to save the ADA.

Akutagawas greatest flaws were his short-sightedness, and inability to see beyond himself and learn from his mistakes.

While Atsushi's greatest flaws were his crippling anxiety and indecision, as well as inability to let go of his past.

Opposite ends of the same spectrum, so now they must guide each other to the middle and find a balance.

Finally, the 'promise not to kill anyone for six months' with this, Atsushi is showing Akutagawa the value that can be seen in the lives of others. We see this in the security guard Akutagawa spared being the one to distract Fukuchi and let Atsushi escape. Akutagawa seems to have truly grown a lot since he and Atsushi last saw each other. But what about Atsushi?

Spoilers for chapter 107:

I think that Atsushi will kill Akutagawa. We know that Akutagawa died before he was converted into a vampire, and with his lung condition being established just before then, even if they find a way to revert him, he would still be nearly at the end of his life.

I think that Akutagawa will probably temporarily regain control of his body, but be unable to revert fully, so he will ask Atsushi for that duel he promised him. It would even parallel Atsushi "killing" Shibusawa in TDA, since both were technically already dead to begin with.

Atsushi taught Akutagawa how to value lives, and the patience to consider his actions and Akutagawa will teach Atsushi the conviction to take them and how overcome the guilt he feels within himself. each one going from black and white, to grey.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd atsushi #nakajima atsushi #bungou stray dogs atsushi #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #bsd akutagawa #ryunosuke akutagawa #bsd analysis #character analysis #bungou stray dogs character analysis #bungou stray dogs analysis #shin soukoku #bsd sskk #sskk #bsd manga

[actual-changeling]

Hey there Alex! So, I've loved your content for a bit of a while now and your explanations/insight really gives a lot of clarity to people who either might not understand certain points about Good Omens, need a reality check, or may have missed something. You've also really helped me stop being so shy about my love and defense for Crowley in response to Azi apologists weaponizing his trauma as excuses for the way he treats him.

Anyways! I don't know if you've talked about it before, I think you mentioned it briefly in passing but could you possibly go more in depth about the scene in s2 between them about the Bentley situation. The first time I watched the scene, I remember thinking it was so adorable how Crowley trusted Aziraphale enough with his car and how Azi changed the color of it. However, there was always.... something! Idk that struck me the wrong way and you realize upon watching it again that it wasn't as straight forward at at. I'd like your opinion, since I feel it really plays into that constant dynamic of Crowley being uncomfortable for Aziraphale's sake once again.

Do you think he was actually okay with it in the end?

Why did Azi choose this rather than by train?

Does the Bentley truly like the Angel?

If Crowley is connected to the Bentley, how come he doesn't seem to realize when Shax was in it with Aziraphale?

Thank you, that's really nice to hear! I'm glad that my posts have been helpful in a number of ways 💚

Now, I have THOUGHTS on the Bentley scene, excellent questions!

It is another one of those moments that seems sweet on the surface but is actually deeply uncomfortable to watch once you look past that. Let's start with the easy ones and then work our way through the scene in chronological order.

Why did Azi choose this rather than by train?

Aziraphale is basically roleplaying at this point. His weird obsession with his "Clue" has turned into a performance similar to his horrible magic acts; his facial expressions and body language change and become more theatrical when he talks to Crowley about it. At this point, he has probably already decided that he will pretend to be a journalist for no other reason than fun. Driving a car instead of going by train is presumably a part of that, it's an elaborate fantasy he's trying to live out—similar to the ball later on.

We have to keep in mind that while Crowley is aware of the gravity of the situation, Aziraphale is actively choosing to ignore it. Going to Edinburgh for fun is a horrible idea considering the danger they're in, but Aziraphale does not care.

Does the Bentley truly like the Angel?

I think the Bentley likes him exactly as much as Crowley likes him, simple answer but tbh that's really it.

Do you think he was actually okay with it in the end?

Now, the one million pound question: Did Crowley willingly give him the Bentley or did Aziraphale coerce him into doing so? Before we answer this one, there are some more things to consider.

Firstly, the circumstances.

With Shax in his flat and Jimbriel in the bookshop, Crowley has exactly one safe place left: the Bentley. It is HIS, it is mobile, it does not belong to anyone else, and he has a connection to it, meaning that he protects the Bentley but the Bentley also protects him.

We saw Crowley's intense reaction to Gabriel's presence, and it's not 'funny' or 'dramatic', it is Crowley being deeply traumatized by heaven, his fall, and the trial, and there's a very high chance Gabriel was involved in his fall, too. What Aziraphale is essentially demanding of him the entire season is that he locks himself in close quarters with his abuser, who can literally kill him on the spot.

Crowley is fucking terrified, he cannot sleep, he is hypervigilant and even more paranoid than usual, his mood swings get worse, he is a mess—and Aziraphale does not take any of his concerns, emotions, or needs seriously.

Secondly, past experiences and boundaries.

Whenever Aziraphale needs a lift, Crowley is happy to provide one, he enjoys driving him around. Emphasis on him being the driver. Aziraphale has not once driven the Bentley, and it is safe to assume that Crowley has never once OFFERED that he could drive it. That alone should be enough for Aziraphale to not ask that question in the first place, but it isn't.

It also means that Crowley does not expect the question and—when probably at some point asking himself the question whether he'd be okay with Aziraphale driving it—decided he does not want anyone but himself in the driver's seat.

So how does Crowley react when Aziraphale demands the keys to the Bentley?

Oh right, yeah, let's actually talk about that first. He does not ask.

Aziraphale does not ask. I cannot overstate how important it is that he does not ask Crowley if he can drive the Bentley. This is how their conversation goes:

There is no question. "I will take the car" is Aziraphale informing Crowley of a decision he has already made without consulting him—wow, I wonder when that will become relevant again?

final fifteen *cough*

Before he asked, Crowley was rather relaxed (or as relaxed as he can possibly be in his situation), but that changes immediately.

First picture is when he asks Aziraphale about what time his train is, the other two are when he says 'what car'.

His back straightens, his shoulders tighten and freeze, he snaps his jaw shut and grinds his teeth, chin up, mouth lips pressed together—I interpret this as initial panic plus a spark of anger over "our car".

Crowley denies Aziraphale ownership of the Bentley, saying that no, there is no "our" car, this is MY car. It is clear, simple boundary, but Aziraphale went into this conversation having already decided that he will take the car, no matter what Crowley thinks about it.

While he might sound all cheery and excited, look at his body and the expression on his face. That smile is fake, it's bordering on angry, and it is sending a very clear message to Crowley: I want this car and you will give it to me. Once again, my way or the highway.

Bringing up the bookshop is him trying to "out-logic" Crowley, but it does not work because

a) Crowley very much does not consider the bookshop to be "theirs"

b) even if he had, the bookshop is no longer a safe place because of Jimbriel

c) Aziraphale KICKED HIM OUT of the bookshop in the first episode, establishing that Crowley is a guest and nothing more.

He then intentionally misinterprets Crowley saying that he "can't drive [his] Bentley" and mentions his license. Again, entirely irrelevant because that is not even remotely the problem.

Throughout their conversation, Crowley becomes more and more uncomfortable and panicked. This is not a squabble or banter, this is Crowley trying to protect the one thing he has left and Aziraphale not giving a fuck.

Now, the REAL banger here is that after pushing Crowley this far, he then suddenly dumps the rest of his "decision" on him: stay with a person that has severely harmed you, alone, without a way of escaping. This is where Crowley grows from panicked and angry to genuinely frightened.

He stops Aziraphale from touching it—rightfully so—and then reaches out himself to calm himself; it is right there, my car is right next to me, it's okay. Aziraphale ignored all of his attempts to set and enforce boundaries, ignored his panic and emotional state, ignored what Crowley was telling him, ignored everything Crowley told him BEFORE, and keeps pushing pushing pushing until the very end.

So to circle back to your question, no, Crowley is absolutely not fine with Aziraphale taking the car by the end; he fights him right up until the moment he begrudgingly gives him the keys.

It is a very good example of their current relationship dynamic, and personally it actually hurts to watch it happen. Anyone who has gone through trauma around privacy, safety, and personal effects knows how terrifying and traumatizing it is to have your boundaries repeatedly violated like that.

Aziraphale is being manipulative and coercing Crowley into doing what he wants; it's fucked up, and this doesn't even begin to deal with happens later.

If Crowley is connected to the Bentley, how come he doesn't seem to realize when Shax was in it with Aziraphale?

Maybe he did but did not really care because Shax has been in the Bentley before (just like Beez), maybe he is too distracted by Jimbriel and potentially being murdered in his sleep to pay much attention to Aziraphale on his way back.

Maybe he DID notice since he does ask Aziraphale if something happened, and then once again makes the mistake of trusting him when he denies it.

Without more information I can only speculate, but, personally, I think Shax being in the Bentley was not too big of a deal for Crowley even if he noticed it.

As always, if anyone has follow-up question, feel free to ask!

#alex answers asks #alex talks good omens #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the bentley #good omens meta #alex's unhinged meta corner #good omens thoughts

[flightfoot]

Underrated Miraculous Fic writers

So I read a crapton of miraculous fanfics, and I often end up gravitating towards particular fic writers over and over. Most of the time a lot of other people have clearly noticed the same thing, as their stories tend to get tons of kudos - but not always. Some of the fic writers I read most reliably get very little attention, for one reason or another. Usually because they tend to write for a particular niche that I like but isn't overwhelmingly popular throughout the fandom, but other times I have no idea why their stories aren't more popular.

Anyway, I wanted to spotlight a few of those authors here!

---

Generalluxun (@generalluxun)

If you're a fan of fics that really explore Chloe's character, look into her mindset and try to redeem her without relying on shortcuts or making other characters look worse in comparison, then you've probably at least dabbled in his fics before. I'm especially partial to his newest fic "In Direct Opposition", as Alya's the main POV character and is looking to reform Chloe while navigating this whole akuma situation, and Control, a Senti!Chloe fic where Marinette accidentally stumbles across Chloe's Amok and has to decide what to do with it.

---

linerle (@liiinerle)

Linerle specializes in Marigami fics, with a more general bend towards queer romance. If you like those, then you're in for a real treat! Accidents Are Also Miracles is particularly noteworthy, as it's the single longest completed Marigami-centric fic in the fandom. It's a fantastic story that I highly recommend checking out!

---

BecomingButterflies (@bbutterflies)

They specialize in Adrino fics, so if you want to read some Adrino goodness, their author page is a great place to stop by! I've especially enjoyed "I'll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)", where Adrien leaves town after finding out Monarch was Gabriel, and only returns years later, to find that Nino has missed him quite a lot...

---

TrishaCollins (@consistent-chaos-corporation)

Trisha often writes Felix-focused fics, delving into his trauma with being raised by Colt, and him trying to be a better person. Not that it's just introspective pieces, a lot of their fics are pretty action-based with serious stakes and villains who are only too willing to hurt the heroes and innocent bystanders, and even kill them. I'm especially partial to their Madness series, which is a sprawling AU, touching on Felix's and Adrien's childhood, but soon fast-forwarding to the present-day, with Chat Noir and Ladybug confronting Felix about Monarch's Miraculous theft, and him seeing the errors of his ways and helping them. I particularly appreciate how viscerally Felix comes to understand how his actions hurt others, particularly the Kwamis, who he put in a similar position to what he himself had been in with Colt.

---

TheChatatonicOne (@rosie-b)

I love a lot of their fics dearly, they're well-written and scratch just the right itch! They mostly write Lovesquare fics, often with a more angsty bent.

I especially adore their enemies au fics:

Stealing Freedom, where Adrien's long been puppeted about using his ring by his father as Cat Walker, who, thankfully, Ladybug and Co. know is a Senti who has no choice in the matter - with Marinette then discovering that her fiance, Adrien, IS Cat Walker.

home is where the fight is, A short glimpse into a Ladrien enemies au, where Adrien's being controlled by his father into fighting her, but is dating Ladybug as a civilian - and Ladybug's secret identity has just been revealed to the world.

True Blue, Chatatonic's ongoing enemies au which I have recced numerous times, which takes the more unusual (and difficult) approach of having MARINETTE side with Gabriel instead of Adrien, and doing so while keeping her in-character by having Gabriel lean into his manipulation skills, telling her half-truths about how Adrien will be happier once his mother's back, and that ultimately the heroes are the ones being greedy and reticent in all this, and that the akumas all agree to help him, even if they don't remember afterwards. It's among the best Miraculous fics I've read this year so far!

Not that she only writes enemies au of course, she's written many other Lovesquare fics. I particularly enjoyed The Mer-Human Race, in which sailors and merfolk would have friendly competitions on who was faster in the water, with the winner being able to ask for some sort of prize. Marinette had been looking for a merman to race for awhile so that she could be granted a vessel of her own at a younger age than was normally permitted. Luckily, a Merman named Chat Noir showed up suddenly and offered to race her. Pity that her friend Adrien wasn't there to watch it...

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic rec #generalluxun #bbutterflies #liiinerle #rosie-b #consistent-chaos-corporation

[deathmetalunicorn1]

hello guess who's here for another request😈😈so can i request a [god] x male god! reader who has a curse similar to Beelzebub curse that they don't know about[like imagine Beelzebub's curse and truma but 100x worse]

alright so like the male reader is the god of peace,creation & balance and he was cursed by some very powerful Being that no god even knows[not even Odin or Zeus knows who cursed him who also didn't know that he was curse in the first place]

his curse was to share the same Body with Atropos or discord[which name you prefer]who is the literal embodiment of chaos,destruction & carnage and could destroy Valhalla and all of the gods if they Wanted too,that "disappeared" centuries ago and so like imagine the two polar opposite having to share the same Body for eternity as no one can even break the curse as it is permanent being fused with his very soul as he also can't kill himself as the curse didn't allowed to kill himself turning him immortal permanently and was a little scared of going any further with there relationship with [god]

before becoming a god the reader would have been an Angel who somehow be came a god but in the process getting cursed and after some good old trauma he got his emotion stolen by Atropos/discord [and btw this is how male reader looks like:

[and what trauma you may ask?

well when he was cursed he fell unconscious falling to earth being founded by humans who took him in their village and took care of him until he woke up over time m!y/n was treated like family in the village [despite still looking like an angel and being a god] and with m!y/n helping the people by helping them grow food and healing their wounds if they do hurt and so while he was in the village he meet a girl[lets call her agatha] who he soon fell in love with…the two of them would sneak out and lay down in the flower field's that surrounded the village hand in hand, sitting under a tree reading and study with each other…still unaware of his curse but one day…

at first it was like a simply and a normal day for him the village gathering food. talking with each other over all having fun but suddenly he felt liquid run down his cheek…he took his hand to his cheek touching it, looking at the Black substance falling from his eyes before he could react he Blacked out.

to him he was in a void he felt chains around his limbs, voice's screaming out for help what felt like thousands of eyes looking at him as he looked behind him seeing a grotesque monster with someone who looked like him smiling at him as feeling of adrenaline and terror surrounded him before he started to regain consciousness again and

the first thing he saw was agatha going towards him reaching out her hand

m!y/n reached his hand to her not knowing what was going on but before they even have time to react large black spike pierced agatha in the right in the stomach and chest as M!y/n watched in horror as his very first lover got impaled/stabbed Deep as the spike disappeared and as agatha started to fall

M!y/n immediately sprinted to her laying her down on the ground & laying her head on his lap

he frantically started to apologized profusely saying he didn't mean it trying his best to heal her wounds starting to shake and sob more as nothing was happening her wound continued to Bleed out

m!y/n:…p-please i don't want to lo-lose you please i di-didn't mean it im sorry im so sorry…please d-don't leave m-me…[he begged and Begged as he continued to try and heal her wounds seeing that the fresh around the wound was starting to decay quickly now turning black even though he wanted to accept that he couldn't heal her he also didn't want to. so he continued and tried to heal her

suddenly agatha grabbed his hand making him stop healing her as she made him look at her

agatha:y-you know i-it's not working r-right?…[she said smiling weakly as m!y/n started sob even more]

agatha:y-you know I've though a-about my future with y-you…[she said as she continued to smile at him weakly…]

agatha:i-i…know that im just a m-mortal and your a god…but i still wanted to m-marry you one day, to be by your s-side hand in hand l-living happily…h-huh…maybe in another life right?…

m!y/n:…in a another life…[he said still sobbing]

agatha:j-just don't blame yourself a-all right?…[suddenly with her last strength agatha pulled m!y/n into a kiss which would be there first and last kiss…after that she Died in m!y/n arms but m!y/n didn't want to accept this so he picked her up bridal style sprinting around village trying to find someone to help but…all was left was carnage and destruction, the village was in flames ash and blood covering it as the Bloody Body's of the people

who took care and treated him like family all mutilated and Dead…all because of him…

and so after this m!y/n had lost his emotions being locked deep inside of him his old fun loving and sunshine smile and nature gone…replaced with a face that was just there…not showing pain or anything it was just a souless and cold look…but after centuries he met [god] who somewhat filled the void in his cold broken & Dead heart who doesn't have a single clue about his past which m!y/n was grateful for…

and so when Ragnarok came male reader decided to fight for humanity [much to (god) dismay]

[During his fight his suddenly felt liquid coming out of his eye…he touched his cheek to see an oh so familiar black substance and in the first time in forever male reader was panicking as well as [god] first time seeing male reader panicking or showing any type of emotion

as male reader was panicking they started to say over and over again in there head "OH PLEASE NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN"as male reader was terrified that he might put more blood on his hands or hurt more people he cares about before he Blacked out.

[to the others gods and humans it looked like male reader was surrounded by shadows, and basically every single horrific monster you could think of as well as the aura being so powerful that the gods have to shield themselves because of the power that was radiating from it as a large monster appeared holding male reader in its grotes claws as it closes letting him transform into Atropos/discord.

sort of like this:

but on male reader pov he was in a void with thousands of eyes looking at him and screaming voice as well as arms grabbing his legs pulling him more inside the Void as the same people that he considered family in the past who he Also killed because of Atropos/discord surrounding him in a more nightmares and distorted form as Atropos/discord was behind him… the sense looks like this:

[oh and here's Atropos/discord full Body]

[after his transformation his opponent [who was in the sky] tried to attack him but didn't even get to move an inch before Atropos/discord arm was through his chest[similar to the sense ware Satan controlled Beelzebub Body and killed Lilith]

and in Atropos/discord hand was there heart that was quickly ripped out from there chest as Atropos/discord looked at the heart before too the horror of the gods and humanity. started eating it in front of everyone with a narcissist/sadistic smile and in the process getting his opponent's powers

as Atropos/discord happily watched there opponent fall to the ground and fade away before passing out and falling to the ground himself bringing back the normal Male reader]

[and after finding out about his past [god] finally understood why M!y/n was so scared of going any further with there relationship as m!reader was scared of losing control and accidentally killing [god] like what happened in his past as they didn't want another person that he care deeply to die in his hands again…]

[and so how would [god] react to finding out that There male!s/o is the vessel of the literal and the very embodiment of chaos,destruction & carnage would they be mad at them for keeping it a secret and what will they're reaction to finding out what happened in m!y/n's past and his transmission/that he was Atropos/discord?]

and for the gods i liked to see are:

Hades

Poseidon

Buddha

and of course Beelzebub!💕

[expecially beelzebub i love that emo😍🤞]

[i know i kind of wrote everything out again so you can just do the reactions if you want]

-(Love) couldn’t understand why you always seemed hesitant to go further in your relationship with him, almost like you were scared of something, but you never said what- you always refused to talk about it.

-He could see the pain in your eyes, the fear, and it did concern him, as he did love you- he cared so much about you- and to see you shy away from him…. It made him angry, frustrated and just concerned- he wanted to help, if you would just tell him.

-You could never tell (Love) the truth, of what you housed in your body- he wouldn’t understand, he would think you were a monster if he knew the truth.

-That’s why you always pushed him away, refusing to go further with the relationship and you would run and hide- but he would always come and find you- apologizing, showing you that he really did love you.

-You did love him, you cared about (Love) so much, but you didn’t want to lose him, not like before- not like the only woman you ever loved- Agatha.

-You shook your head, trying to get her out of your head, because whenever you thought about her, you would always see her bright smiling face, her joy, her love for you- then her terror, her broken body bleeding out in your arms, smiling up at you as she took her last breaths, leaving you helpless to do anything about it.

-(Love) loved other things about you- you calm level-headed coolness, never getting frazzled or upset, your kind nature to all, including humans, even though you were a god yourself, your kind heart- because that’s what drew (Love) to you in the first place, and he never failed to tell you that, making you give him soft smiles, grateful for this little light in your life.

-When Ragnarok was announced you were appalled by the other gods, furious that they wanted to take the easy way out when dealing with humans, and (Love) could see that you were angry.

-That’s why you fought for humanity- choosing to fight for their survival as they were worthy fighting for- they deserved to keep living because they never stopped fighting!

-(Love) watched in fear, not wanting to lose you as well, sitting on the edge of his seat for most of the match as you proved that despite your gentle and kind nature- you were a warrior, showing your strength- your skills.

-You felt something wet drip down your face, and you lifted your hand, pulling back to find what anyone could only describe as black blood and instantly you paled, your eyes widening in fear, a tremble in your voice as the black tears soon covered your face, moving down your body, “NO-NO!! RUN AWAY!!”

-Everyone was stunned, hearing you scream, seeing you look so frantic and terrified as (Love) screamed out your name, feeling the rush of power escaping from you, blowing not only your opponent, but everyone in the stadium back.

-You were engulfed in black blood, your screams dying almost instantly before dark laughter filled the air, your angelic façade melting into something demonic- evil, terrifying as the blood seemed to recede almost instantly, revealing a monster, Atropos, a being of chaos, destruction, and carnage.

-Atropos was lost thousands of years ago, many hoped he had been killed- even the demons in Helheim saw him as monstrous, but none could ever begin to imagine that he had been sealed within your body, and he was now free.

-You could see everything, just like before-just like with Agatha. You screamed, beating on the prison you found yourself in, crying heavily, wanting him to stop hurting your opponent.

-A hand slid up your chest, coming to your neck, the grip firm, silencing you as the other went to your eyes, covering them as Atropos whispered in your ear, “Now-now dear little Y/N- it’s rude to not let me out now and then. Be glad I chose now- and not with your little lover~”

-Your heart felt like ice- thinking of (Love) as more tears fell.

-Your opponent leapt into the sky, trying to take out this monster before it hurt anyone, knowing the dangers but froze as Atropos easily took to the skies, his arm morphing into something evil, it was like an arm made of muscles and blood, no skin, pulsating and radiating evil, before plunging it into the chest of your opponent.

-Everyone was stunned, ready to gather arms to take you on- now concerned for their survival, as Atropos was a danger to everyone in Valhalla right now.

-He devoured the heart he pulled from the chest of your now, thankfully, dear opponent, letting his body fall to the ground as everyone watched in horror, seeing the carnage.

-Atropos lowered to the ground, looking at Heimdall who announced him as the winner before Atropos bowed deeply and as the black blood surrounded him, it fell to the ground, leaving your unconscious body there, as you fell face first into the dirt.

-Many called for your immediate execution, not wanting to risk the chance of Atropos running amok, while others, friends and (Love) were quick to rush to your side, willing to kill those who would do you harm.

-Zeus was hesitant on letting you live- now knowing the truth, you were dangerous, but (Love) was adamant that you were much like Beelzebub, cursed with no way of controlling it- it wasn’t fair to blame you for something you couldn’t control!!

-Zeus and Odin allowed you to live, under the stipulation that (Love) was now responsible for you, and if you looked like you were losing control, he was under orders to immediately kill you, no matter what, something (Love) agreed to.

-He couldn’t believe you had something like that inside of you, sitting by your hospital bed, watching you sleep. He bit his lower lip, he wanted to feel angry, but then he could see why you didn’t say anything, why you never told him the truth. You were scared of him abandoning you- and he knew that earlier in the relationship he might have, he might have turned into one of those out in Valhalla calling for your death. He wasn’t going to leave- even now, knowing the risk, he was going to stay by your side. His hand enveloped your own, holding it to his chest, so you could feel his heartbeat, “Wake up soon Y/N.”

            -Hades and Buddha

-Seeing that monster that you housed in your body did scare him, but he had his own inner demons (Satan/living up to his brother’s standards). He wasn’t perfect either, despite what he would lead others to believe. In the end- he was just a man, a man who loved you deeply, and he wanted you to wake up. All his previous anger- his questions and fury about why you never told him about this, about going further in your relationship- it all made sense now. He knew he could never leave you alone now- there were so many wanting you dead- to protect themselves and their own loved ones, not caring that you couldn’t control it. He inhaled deeply, kneeling beside you, cupping your face as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, “I’ll keep you safe- no matter what.”

-Poseidon and Beelzebub

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror hades #ror buddha #ror poseidon #ror beelzebub

[bioethicists]

Sorry if your inbox is Not The Place, but I've really enjoyed your blog since I found it, especially the anti-psychiatry work. Last year I had a traumatizing experience when they tried to institutionalize me (+the psychiatrist I had to speak to lied to me by omission so I'd agree to see her without specifying it would be a long stay, I was under the impression she wanted to have a session to check things so I agreed and she booked me, and later I found out she meant a stay at the psych ward but I was 'obligated' to go). When I finally denied admittance they spent almost an hour trying to talk me out of it and treated me as if I wasn't a person capable of thinking and making decisions but some kind of insentient being that cannot judge things rationally - she even called me 'incapable of living like a functioning adult' in front of my mom. I've experienced psychiatric abuse before this too but this event is really what cemented to me the psychiatry abolition position, but whenever I express such opinions it's kind of like a 'Oh The Schizophrenic Guy Is Schizophrenic-ing!' moment among my friends, so it's nice to see there is a community here on tumblr about this

i've had very similar experiences + i'm sincerely so sorry. writing about my experiences was terrifying, especially when i was younger- it took many years for my posts to gain traction. i was mostly shouting into a void or else annoying ppl online. as i built up an academic + political understanding of this injustice i felt deeply, my words became more respectable to others (which sucks btw) but i also found an activist community + academic tradition which supported me.

i'm hoping to be more active on here + on the forum (which i've been very negligent to) once school ends but my final paper plus katie's death have thrown me off tremendously lol. i always appreciate hearing how my work impacts others!

#anti psychiatry #psychiatric abuse /

[strigeist]

Heyyyyy!!! You still do Encanto? If so the can you do Camilo x male reader and like the madrigals throw a party for whatever and male reader knows how to dance so he dances with a girl/guy whatever and they accidentally kiss and male reader explains or whatever that it was an accident. (Sorry if it’s long and too detailed)

~ Yes! Since we're so close to the new year I decided to mix it up with that, I hope you don't mind. And it's no biggie, really! I prefer more specific requests anyway. Thank you for the request, it's the first one I get so I'm pretty happy about that s2. Hope you like it! ~

Camilo x Male reader

Summary: You accidentally kiss someone else while dancing. Camilo, your boyfriend, sees it. Misundertandings ensue. (You make up at the end, though, so don't worry!)

Word count: 1830.

Genre: Emotional hurt/comfort(?)

Author's notes: This might be a bit ooc, I'm not too sure, it's been a while since I've interacted with anything Encanto! Also, I used the word "parce" at some point, I've heard it's similar to "bro" in English or "mano" in Portuguese. I say it a lot so I feel it would fit in the dialogue but do let me know if it's not used like that in Colombia. And!! The dance I had in mind for this was cumbia since it's, apparently, a very popular dance there, but it's not really mentioned explicitly (and it could be wrong, since if you looked up that about Brazil Google would make you think most people dance samba at parties here when it's not really true, at least in my experience). And yes, the way the "kiss" happens isn't that realistic but who cares? Not me (though, fun fact, something very similar happened to me irl once!)

Celebrating the new year was always fun at Encanto. The whole town came over to the Madrigals' house and danced, drank, ate, and just generally partied until dawn. Now, it wasn't as wild as it sounds, but it was always a treat.

This year was particularly exciting for you since it was your first year officially attending as Camilo's boyfriend!

What did that change? Well, not much, only that you helped organize the place before the party, which you didn't mind (not when that meant you could spend the entire day goofing around with Camilo while doing so). But even though you partied together almost every year, there was just something different about dancing as a couple instead of friends.

The two of you had danced for a while after the *real* party started, however eventually decided to switch partners every few minutes as most did. It was just more fun like that, and you were still close enough for it to be considered time spent together. Plus, you were amongst friends, so it didn't feel weird.

Eventually, you ended up back together. After a few short minutes of dancing, Camilo suddenly seemed distracted, staring behind you as he stepped along to the beat of the song.

"You know, if you keep doing that you're gonna step on my foot!" You teased, then asked, "What's wrong?"

"... Oh, perdón, corazón." You cringed a little at how that rhymed. It seemed intentional by the way he giggled after saying that. "Mi mamá wants me to fix something, I think, I don't really understand what she's trying to say."

You stopped dancing and turned around to look as well, quickly finding Pepa gesturing angrily at the upstairs of the house and mouthing something to your boyfriend. After she noticed you looking, however, she stopped, smiled, and waved almost awkwardly. You and Camilo laughed.

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, no, it's fine! I want you to enjoy yourself, you already did enough by helping me with the decorations earlier. Just keep dancing or whatever." he explained, then grabbed your chin and gave you a soft kiss on the lips, grinning right after "See you in a few minutes!"

With that, he left.

'Charming bastard..." You thought as you watched him go, lips still tingling from his kiss.

[...]

You tried to wait for Camilo to come back but got bored after a few minutes. He did give you permission to dance with other people, and you were doing that before anyway, so you were sure he wouldn't mind.

The dance floor (that was actually just the main room of the house) was considerably fuller now that people started drinking, but you still had enough space to dance. Your current partner was Daniela, your sweet next-door neighbor. It was actually her mother that taught you how to dance along with some of the other kids in your street, so you were very comfortable dancing with each other.

You were facing each other to be able to talk better, one of your hands on her waist and the other on her hand. You spoke about your plans for the year, how your relationship was going, did some casual gossip because why not, when suddenly someone ran into her from behind. She fell forward, and your natural instinct was to try to hold her so she wouldn't fall. This, unfortunately for the two of you, ended up causing something quite awkward: your lips on hers.

It was very, very quick, but felt weird nonetheless. You hadn't really kissed anyone other than Camilo, but did this even count when it was on accident?

You stared at each other for a few seconds after separating. She was slowly becoming red like a tomato (and your face felt very hot as well, so Lord knows what you looked like), but both ended up laughing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't- someone ran into me-" She tried to explain, but you just shook your head and put your hand on her shoulder with a smile.

"I get it, it's fine, I noticed. Still wanna dance?"

She nodded positively and you went back to doing what you were before, not giving the event much thought.

[...]

A few more minutes passed, and still not a trace of Camilo. You weren't worried before, but now you were. Did something happen?

"Parce... I'm gonna go look for Camilo. He's been gone for a while, I'm worried." You announced and stopped dancing.

"Alright! See you later, (Y/n)! Tell him I said hi." She said.

"Will do!" You waved, then left.

You looked around the entire house and still couldn't find your boyfriend. Now you were really worried. It felt a bit irrational since it was Pepa who had left with him, so surely she would keep him safe. But what if something happened to the two of them, then?

Before your paranoid thoughts could get to you, you managed to find Dolores, who looked around as if looking for someone while holding a cup of juice.

"Hey, Dolores!" You greeted and she jumped before looking at you. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Have you seen Camilo around? I can't find him anywhere!"

"Oh, he's mad at you because you kissed Daniela." She explained, then widened her eyes and squeaked when she noticed what she just said. "I mean, no."

Your chest tightened when you heard what she said. So he thought you cheated on him?

"He saw that? But it was an accident! I don't-"

"I tried to tell him, but he didn't want to listen." She shrugged.

You didn't know how to feel about how Dolores was apparently listening to you and Daniela talk for her to have managed to catch that part, but didn't give it much thought. You were more worried about Camilo as of now.

"Where is he?"

She looked around with just her eyes, then replied.

"His bedroom. You should go, he's very upset."

You didn't wait a second before you left, quickly making your way to your boyfriend's room. Even though it wasn't really your fault, you still felt extremely guilty. This day was supposed to be one of fun and parties, not sadness! You weren't even sure he would believe you when you told him what had actually happened, but the thought of him breaking up with you because of that gave upset you too much, so you chose to think about it.

When you got to the glowing door of his bedroom, you knocked a few times, hands shaking a little from the built-up anxiety. You hoped he wasn't THAT hurt.

"Camilo, it's (Y/n)!" You said. "We need to talk!"

You couldn't hear anything behind the door for a while, but it suddenly just opened, revealing none other than Camilo. His eyes were red and puffy and he was still wearing what he wore at the party, though a little crumpled and with some small bits of dust that probably came from a blanket.

You could have cried at the sight, especially with this misunderstanding being the cause of it, but before you could say anything Camilo started talking.

"There's nothing to talk about!" he exclaimed angrily and sniffled, tears starting to fall from his eyes. "Y-you kissed her while I was gone! I trusted you! I thought..."

"No, no, mi vida! It's nothing like that!" you interrupted before he could go on, determined to avoid any further misunderstandings. "Someone pushed her on accident and she fell, I tried to catch her and, well, that's what you saw! I didn't say anything because, to us, it didn't mean anything! It was an accident! She has her boyfriend and I have you, and I would never want to kiss anyone else! I'm so, so, so sorry..."

Camilo stared at you silently as his tears came to a halt. He sniffled and dried his eyes with his hands before speaking again.

"So... You still love me?"

"Of course I do! I love you more than anything, amor!" your face got warmer after saying that. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I just didn't think it was that big of a deal, but I should have-"

Before you could keep going, Camilo hugged you so fast you didn't even see it coming. You returned the gesture and wrapped your arms gently around his figure, softly caressing his back as you did.

"... Mi hermana tried to say that to me, I think, but I didn't really listen... I'm, uh, sorry." He said. The words were a bit muffled since his face was pressed against your neck, but they were still understandable.

You let out a relaxed sigh, then giggled and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead.

"It's fine, she told me. I'm just glad you're not sad anymore... Unless you still are?" You pulled away and looked at him with a worried expression.

He pulled you back and shook his head.

"No, no! I'm glad I was wrong! I'm sorry for having jumped to conclusions so quickly-"

"But it was perfectly reasonable for you to get upset about that, I-"

"Ey, ey!" he interrupted as he pulled away, placing both hands on your shoulders. "What if, instead of infinitely apologizing to each other, we went back to having some fun?"

You laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds better. Wanna go back to the party?"

"Actually," Camilo replied with a mischievous grin "I had something else in mind." He walked a few steps back and looked at the inside of his bedroom, then at you again. "Wanna come in?"

You only raised an eyebrow and complied, following him into the room.

[...]

The idea turned out to be surprisingly mild. You were laying down comfortably on Camilo's bed, with your arms wrapped around him as you watched some telenovela his tío, Bruno, had recommended to him.

"But... Wasn't she his tía or something?" You asked, confused.

"Amor, are you even watching?" Camilo huffed in an annoyed manner but didn't bother looking up at you. "Yes, she is! But she doesn't remember that, she has amnesia! That's like, the whole point!" He said as he gestured at the screen.

"Perdón, perdón. I'm just busy looking at something else." You said, staring lovingly at him.

He turned his head towards you in curiosity, staring blankly for a few minutes before becoming almost as red as a tomato.

"Eres ridículo, (Y/n)." He laughed and gave you a quick kiss on the lips, then went back to watching the TV.

"What can I say? I love you! And you're very, very pretty."

"He, I love you too. Now pay attention to the telenovela or I swear I'll make you watch it all again!"

You both ended up falling asleep together while watching television. It wasn't exactly what you had in mind for the new year, but waking up in the morning with him still in your arms was certainly more than you could have asked for.

#encanto x male reader #camilo madrigal x male reader #encanto x reader #camilo madrigal x reader #camilo madrigal x y/n #encanto fanfic #requests open

[inkfamy]

You're the person who said we're shipping First Aid with Bruticus now right?

If Bruticus is obsessed with First Aid how does he react to Defensor? Does he just latch on to Defensor's left arm and refuse to let go? Does he go bananas and demand his wife back? Do they walk off into the sunset holding hands?

Also, have the Decepticons ever tries getting a regular ambulance and convincing Bruticus that it's First Aid?

Hello! I'm so sorry for letting this ask languish in my inbox for a month, my brain is made of spaghetti. I am absolutely ecstatic to be the Bruticaid Guy.

I have been percolating on a Bruticaid fic and here's the things your questions alongside the other things swimming around my brain have turned into:

Personally I think Bruticus's feelings of love and affection aren't (initially) very well developed. He feels some kind of possessiveness and protectiveness over his components, because he needs them and knows he couldn't exist without them, and he understands loyalty in the form of his (forced) loyalty to Megatron and by extension the Decepticon Cause. To begin with, he doesn't fully understand love as much more beyond possessiveness and loyalty; he only processes his feelings as a desire to Have this new component, which must be his because why else would he Want it.

I think he's very jealous of Defensor when First Aid is attached, and he mostly wants to get First Aid detached so he can Reclaim His Property. Defensor likely feels a similar way, enhanced by the fact that the Protectobots as a gestalt are very close to one another and none of them would want to see First Aid in the hands of a Decepticon, whether that Decepticon likes him or not. Cue a lot of violent combiner clashing.

I've been thinking SO MUCH about the next part. We are talking G1, so whacky hijinks must ensue. The Decepticons initially just steal a regular ambulance, and Bruticus realises it's not alive as soon as he gets his hands on it. Insert tantrum. Their next step is trying to pass off a Decepticon as First Aid; Dead End gets painted red and white because he's just about the right shape and he's part of a gestalt and maybe that's what Bruticus find so appealing. This one takes a bit longer to work out: probably a few days before the false First Aid is revealed because poor Dead End got dropped in a river and all his paint washed off or something. Even bigger tantrum.

The Decepticons probably get desperate enough that they nab another Earth ambulance, smuggle it to Vector Sigma, and have it brought to life in the hopes that the resulting Decepticon will be a suitable distraction for Bruticus. The poor bot gets called Last Aid, and his only purpose in life is to be a cute little boyfriend. He's a triple changer and turns into an ambulance and a left arm, but he doesn't have a gestalt to bond too.

Last Aid ends up being pretty much Shattered Glass First Aid: he's a classic evil clone, obsessed with First Aid, the Protectobots, and the Combaticons. There's a bunch of nonsense in having to ensure the Combaticons don't know that Last Aid isn't really First Aid, because Bruticus mustn't know. Last Aid gets mostly ignored and his only assigned mission is "keep Bruticus happy". He is absolutely venomous at this being the purpose of his life; he hates the Decepticons and Bruticus. For a while he probably tries to manipulate Bruticus into idk, stomping on the real First Aid so he can take his place, turns up to cause havoc in the Protectobot base, and is generally a funky evil little guy with a kind of sad backstory (but also he is so very evil).

I don't think Last Aid is very nice to Bruticus, and that's probably what eventually reveals the ploy. Maybe he hurts Bruticus somehow and First Aid finds Bruticus injured, and being First Aid he can't not help, but this giant combiner is kind of shying away from him and waiting to get smacked again. Maybe this is the first moment where First Aid isn't scared of Bruticus, and Bruticus learns what being treated gently is like.

At some point Last Aid probably ends up working with Shockwave to try and take over the Decepticons, or otherwise gets kind of incorporated into their medics team (but isn't allowed to work without Hook there, because he Cannot Be Trusted Not To Do Something Horrible).

#I hope you enjoy this long ramble #bruticaid #bruticus #first aid #maccadam #inky answers

[dyradoodles]

Hiiiiii! 💕 I was just wondering….. what are your preferences for Zack & Seph? Do you ship ‘em, is it up to circumstance, does the age matter to you/do you consider their age and their gap? Why not even throw in how you fell in love with Zack & Seph to begin with? Do you have sources?? MLA format for Zack’s fandom page???

*plops down on floor*

Details plz! ❤️

Ah yes hello person that I definitely do not know, who definitely didn't see me say I could write an essay about this very subject on discord LMFAO

I'll put the actual essay under a cut for people who don't want to scroll through my Many Feelings about these two lol As a TLDR to your questions:

Yes I ship them, but also Yes it's up to circumstance! Yes I consider their canon ages/the age gap (which most visibly manifests in me only drawing them platonically if I'm drawing Zack as a Second/with the puppy hair, or writing a fic taking place during CC)! I was actually into Aeriseph first and stumbled into ZackSeph fics, and realized it was a similar dynamic, but with someone who spent time with Seph canonically before he went bananas! All of this was before CC came out and I've been loving these characters for 20+ years!

To borrow a phrase (from crylin iirc), honestly, I like just seeing them standing next to each other, romantic or no LMAO <3

NOW, FOR THE ESSAY.

So to expand on what I said earlier, I think it's obvious from my blog and ZS server that I ship these two LMAO That said, the way I ship them is based heavily on the era of fandom before CC was a thing. I got into FF7 around 2002 (possibly earlier, I just don't have the dates on drawings that old), five years before CC came out. At the time, we knew next to nothing about Zack beyond the very short clips of him in OG. So, fandom did what fandom does best, and tried to fill in the blanks!

Some of the efforts to figure out who Zack was went all the way down to his name, because it's Zakkusu in Japanese. So you'll see him as Zax, too - There were heated debates on whether to use Zack or Zax. And no last name! Fandom had to come up with surnames themselves. We also didn't have much of a reference beyond his polygon model, which seemed to have darker skin and, (as many fics described it) violet eyes. It was also assumed that, since he was a First who worked closely with Sephiroth, he was probably around Sephiroth's age. You likely already see where I'm going with this, laying all that out lol The Zack I draw and write is very much based on that time period, and if I'm honest, that's the character I really ship with Seph. I still joke in my fics sometimes that Zack's last name might be Donovan or Darklighter, etc., which are old fandom surnames!

Now, obviously CC came out and threw all this on its head, because we finally got a whole GAME about this (important!) minor character. I have many beefs with CC's writing and Square's insistence that so many of their characters need to be child prodigies (they can't ALL be prodigies, Square!!!). With Zack going from an assumed early 20s to suddenly being 16, and all the craziness of CC's plot, the way I approached the ship changed as well.

This is where I would firmly say my stance is: I don't think Seph had any interest in Zack romantically, in CC. Because that's a kid lmao If I'm engaging with the Compilation as a whole, I definitely lean way more into the mentor/mentee relationship for the two of them. As a personal rule, I only draw them platonically if Zack's got the puppy hair, because that was the most obvious visual cue I could think of that could draw that line between Zack's teen years vs. adult. If Seph managed to not go insane, then yeah, later in life I could still see them getting together! But clearly that's already AU territory lmfao

Ultimately, what I like best about Zack & Seph is how they treat each other (while Seph is still sane lol). That goes for platonically and romantically. Zack is so genuine and kind, and treats Seph the way he always wanted to be treated - like he's human. He can joke around with Seph in a way most people simply can't. Meanwhile, Seph treats Zack's feelings with respect, even during the times he's laughing at Zack for being ridiculous. He's also honest with Zack. He answers truthfully when Zack asks what's wrong, and it's clear that it's because he knows Zack is not a threat; Zack will take Seph's feelings seriously, too. I can enjoy the drama of the trauma and heartbreak that comes with Sephiroth's descent into villainy, but my favorite stuff definitely involves a lot of Nibelheim fix-it fics lol

Despite all the changes CC made to Zack and his relationship to Sephiroth (RIP Second in Command Zax Donovan/Darklighter/Knightblade, my beloved), their actual dynamic with regard to how they treat each other stayed, miraculously, intact. That's the real reason they're still my favorite characters, and how my enjoyment of FF7 has remained as strong as it is after literal decades. Square can retcon as many things as they want in the Compilation, but they'll never stop me from making art and fic of the characters I grew up with. Unless I get a C&D for some reason LMFAO Until then, I'll keep enjoying my AUs (and if anything, I have even more reason to enjoy them now that AUs themselves are canon - you bet your ass I'll be in the AUs where ONLY OG happened and I can ignore everything else LOL)

Thank you for the questions!! It was fun to get all my thoughts written down in one huge chunk, as opposed to my typical disjointed ramblings to my friends. Hopefully it was an interesting read!

Sources:

Fanlore. “Zack Fair.” The Organization for Transformative Works, 2 Jan. 2023, fanlore.org/wiki/Zack_Fair.

Doodles, Dyra. "Way Too Much Fandom Lurking." Dyra's Childhood to Adulthood, Copious Amounts of Fanfiction, 3 Apr. 2024

#zackseph #sephzack #ask #yes the sources are in MLA format #yes I put perhaps too much effort into this #I HAVE NO CHILL WRT FF7 LMAO

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟰 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘂𝗺 𝗥𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰

Mild spoilers from Leon's route

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback

Gilbert: "Good. You're alive."

Emma: "Lord… Gilbert?"

I couldn't believe what I was seeing before my eyes.

Inside the carriage that Prince Chevalier pushed me into, there is Lord Gilbert, as if it were a matter of course.

His complexion is better than the last time we parted, as if the disease had never existed in the first place.

Gilbert: "Hehe, I told you. I said I'd be there to witness the signing ceremony."

Gilbert: "I just wanted to surprise you."

Next to Lord Gilbert, Prince Chevalier looks out the window.

He doesn't seem to be questioning his presence here.

Gilbert: "That's strange... I thought you'd be more pleased."

Emma: "I'm sorry..."

Emma: "I was surprised."

(It's definitely Lord Gilbert.)

(I can't see anyone other than Lord Gilbert...)

More than the joy of seeing him, more than the joy of being there,

It was all I could do to push the fear and anxiety of the unknown behind my smile.

══════════════════

Gilbert: "It's been a long time. I wonder how long it's been since I've been in this room."

When we returned to the castle, Lord Gilbert was to be treated as a guest of honor of Obsidian.

(... If he is here now, it means he followed me right after I left Obsidian, right?)

(But the way he looked at me when we parted... it wasn't very likely that he could do that.)

(The reason why Lord Gilbert asked me to be his proxy Empress was because of his health condition.)

(There is no reason to force yourself to come to Rhodolite.)

Gilbert: "You've been quiet for a while now, haven't you?"

Emma: "Are you really... Lord Gilbert?"

Gilbert: "Yeah? That's a strange question, Little Bunny."

(His voice and his response are just like Lord Gilbert himself...)

It seems like he's an illusion, and I reach out to him.

But for some reason, he kept his distance.

Emma: "Lord Gilbert?"

Gilbert: "I'm just not in the mood today."

(. . . . . .)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "I'm actually—"

Gilbert: "I'm cold, so I like to feel the warmth of people all the time."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(… He is not Lord Gilbert.)

Closing the distance again, this time I grab his hand with a clear intention.

I was immediately shaken off, but that one moment was enough.

Emma: "Your hands are warm, right?"

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

Emma: "Who are you?"

(Up close, they look alike but slightly different. ...They are different people who only look alike.)

Approaching the doorway, I keep my distance so that I can escape at any time.

That person, with a face similar to Lord Gilbert's, suddenly erases his refreshing smile…

He picked up a piece of cloth that was randomly placed on top of the sofas and wrapped it around himself.

(Oh…!)

The deeply hooded figure is familiar.

Emma: "Roderich…?"

Roderich: "That's right. I didn't expect you to notice me so quickly... I've been here." **

Roderich: "It's still impossible to deceive someone so close to him, and Prince Chevalier seemed to be aware of it..."

(… You mean he was aware of it and dared to close his eyes?)

I don't know what Prince Chevalier has in mind, but it may have something to do with "promises."

(I only noticed it because I had the opportunity to see Lord Gilbert up close.)

(I had never seen Roderich under the hood, but I didn't realize how much they looked alike like that.)

Not only did he look perfect, but his voice, speech, and behavior were also perfect.

It's not the kind of perfection that can be done overnight, and for some reason, that makes my heart palpitate.

Roderich: "I am here to escort you under the orders of Lord Gilbert."

Roderich: "… Please keep this a secret."

Emma: "I understand."

Emma: "But why is Roderich dressed as Lord Gilbert?"

Emma: "If you're here to escort me, you don't have to be dressed like Lord Gilbert..."

(No, no. Roderich's purpose may be to be my escort.)

(But what about Lord Gilbert?)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "Because the king of a country that knows so much about deception and corruption..."

Gilbert: "My "ideal" is to trample down all the royal families that spread throughout the continent and free the people from the rule of power."

══════════════════

Clavis: "But as long as people are social creatures, power is bound to arise."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(Lord Gilbert's ideal was going to take a long time to achieve.)

(Even if the structure of the continent can be destroyed, it does not mean that the whole purpose has been achieved.)

(Because there is no way that Lord Gilbert didn't think of that possibility...)

(. . . . . .)

Emma: "From the beginning..."

Emma: "Were you planning on switching places from the beginning?"

Emma: "To make it look like Lord Gilbert is still alive even after his death."

(So that "Lord Gilbert" can see the ideal that takes a long time to end.)

(And after you've seen it through, if Roderich stops disguising himself... there will be no real royalty.)

Roderich: ". . . . . ."

Roderich's expression is hidden by the hood and can't be seen well.

There was a pause, as if he were just slumped over and enduring something.

Roderich: "... Only the doctor and Lady Emma know about his low body temperature."

Roderich: "… There are very few who know who he is and look him in the eye when they talk to him."

Roderich: "I was confident that I could conceal all but a few things... or I should have been."

(I knew it...)

Roderich: "I was originally an orphan from a military facility hired because of my resemblance to Lord Gilbert."

Roderich: "I am the shadow and the future of him, who has been sickly and weak since he was a child."

Roderich: "It seems there was a case in a royal family in a certain country where a sickly child was replaced by a healthy child with a similar face…"

Roderich: "It is only a rumor, but Lord Gilbert used it as a reference to find himself."

(… Lord Gilbert is all prepared to die…)

(You don't do anything for a living…) // (You don't do anything to me for a living…)

Emma: "… Lord Gilbert..."

Emma: "He's alive, isn't he...?"

Roderich: ". . . . . ."

Emma: "… He's still alive, isn't he?"

(I'm afraid... to hear the answer.)

Roderich: "I am sorry. I don't know. All I know is that he was alive when I left..."

Roderich: "However, it is not my will to become "Lord Gilbert."

Roderich: "… It was an order."

(Uh…)

I am not so stupid that I don't understand the significance of taking out the clue that he had prepared for his own death at this point. **

(I told him I wanted him to live so much.)

Emma: "I… tried my best."

Emma: "Laughing at all the hostility…"

Emma: "Don't be intimidated by the many guns aimed at me…"

Emma: "I have a lot to report to Lord Gilbert."

Emma: "I have a lot of things I need him to hear."

Emma: "… I have many things to say to Lord Gilbert…"

Emma: "There is no substitute... for that."

(No matter how similar their faces are, Roderich is not Lord Gilbert.)

(I didn't want you to "see it through" this way…)

I sat down on the floor and covered my face with my hands.

Even though I had been prepared for this since I came to Rhodolite, when I was confronted with such a hopeless reality in which he did not feel the will to live, I could not muster up the strength.

(… Although I might annoy Roderich.)

(… I'll at least cry in my room. This is no good.)

As I encourage myself to get up, Roderich kneels down in front of me.

He didn't do anything… I could just feel the confusion and hesitation.

Roderich often tries to say the words, and then he gives an empty exhale.

After this was repeated several times, I finally heard a voice.

Roderich: "… I have served Lord Gilbert since childhood."

Roderich: "I am proud to say that I know him better than most of those alive today."

(Then I'm sure...)

(… It must be harder for Roderich than it is for me.)

Roderich: "Lord Gilbert was the kind of person who would pursue evil for the sake of the weak."

Roderich: "Everyone wishes for the misfortune of others, kicks them down, kills them, and laughs at them. In such a corrupt country, Lord Gilbert..."

Roderich: "He was the only member of the royal family who could understand, sympathize, and be angry at people's pain."

Roderich: "He has killed, trampled, and ruled over many... and those acts have never been for his own good."

Roderich: "No... Lord Gilbert will probably say 'for me' when I say this..."

Roderich: "That man remained on the side of those who seek help."

(I know. ...I know.)

(Because Lord Gilbert is "I who abandoned my ideals.")

Roderich: "For the first time, such a man plotted evil for himself."

Roderich: "I wanted to go to Rhodolite and meet you... That's what he said."

(That's... not what I heard.)

I looked up, hearing the information for the first time.

Roderich: "It must have been so annoying for Lady Emma to have her life so messed up."

Roderich: "I can't even excuse myself. Seen from the sidelines, his deeds were nothing but evil."

Roderich: "I wondered how he could go so far in tracking down a woman... and I even thought about that."

Roderich: "Still..."

The red eyes behind the hood shimmer, wet and overflowing with emotion.

Roderich: "… I'm so happy."

Roderich: "At the end of his life, he finally did something evil for himself..."

Roderich: "I'm glad that he had a little time for himself."

Roderich: "... I'm sorry... I can only really… apologize to Lady Emma..."

Roderich: "Both myself and the doctor... were happy."

(—… So ​​even Prince Chevalier wouldn't know.)

(There is no way I can read... what Lord Gilbert is trying to do.)

Who would have imagined that the purpose of the trampling beast that shook the continent was to meet me?

(... Even if there are many secondary purposes, I can't believe that the core of it is just "I want to meet you...")

The "I want to see you" of the Obsidian royal family is unmistakably malicious. It is not possible for a person with good intentions to do so.

(... I don't like that.)

(It's too annoying for me to joke about...)

(I don't... hate you at all.)

(… It would still be easier to hate you.)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Emma: "—Yes, it's time for your medicine."

I suddenly remembered the last night before I left Obsidian Castle.

I am still wearing the black dress that was given to me by Lord Gilbert,

I take the medicine Walter entrusted to me from the cabinet.

When I gave Lord Gilbert a vial of a color that I couldn't tell if it was good or bad for his health, his refreshing smile turned into a troubled look.

Gilbert: "You know, I'm not a child."

Emma: "But Walter asked me to do it. He asked me to keep an eye on you as much as possible during your medicine time."

Emma: "Lord Gilbert... I hear you don't drink sometimes?"

Gilbert: "You don't know how much malice is in his medicine, do you?"

Gilbert: "It's like a madman who thinks that the more bitter the better and who misunderstands the phrase "the better the medicine, the more bitter it tastes."

Gilbert: "He could have made a few improvements to make it a little easier to drink, but he didn't do that."

Gilbert: "I couldn't take it anymore, so I came up with the idea of a syringe that injects drugs directly into the body."

Gilbert: "Well, that's a completely different type of drug, and there aren't enough clinical trials to put it to practical use..."

(Syringe... You mean that instrument with the needle on it?)

(… That's one heck of an invention...)

Emma: "Is it so bitter that you hesitate to do something so… amazing?"

Gilbert: "Would you like to try it?"

Emma: "It makes no sense if I drink it. Good luck."

Gilbert: "… You could have shown me a little compassion."

Emma: "I feel sorry for Walter."

Gilbert: "Heh."

(…!)

His red eye narrowed, and a chill ran down my spine.

Instinctively, I backed away, and he grabbed me tightly by the wrist.

Gilbert: "If you insist, fine, I'll drink it."

Lord Gilbert, who deftly flicked off the lid of the bottle with one hand, took a sip without hesitation.

(For someone who said it was bitter, he seems to be very bold...)

The moment I watched his throat rise and fall, I felt my heart pounding in my chest,

My chin was lifted with his fingers, and before I had time to resist, my lips were sealed.

(… Uh…)

He forcefully twists his tongue and violates my mouth.

The more our tongues became entwined, the more I "understood."

Gilbert: "You see, it's bitter."

Lord Gilbert chuckles as he moves away from me with a last faint sound. **

Emma: "… It's outrageously…!"

Emma: "Bitter…"

(If this is what I get with a kiss, then Lord Gilbert must have taken the medicine directly...)

Gilbert: "Punishment for taking Walter's side."

Emma: "It would be better to improve the taste a little more so that people can drink it."

Gilbert: "I'm glad you understood. If this doesn't get through to you... well."

(I'll try not to ask too much about it.)

When I frown at the bitterness left in my mouth, the heat overlaps again.

This time, it was not a malicious kiss, just a meaningless touch.

He bites me when I bite him on the lips, strokes my tongue, bites me again...

Then my heart creaks and screams every time he kisses me naughtily, again and again.

Gilbert: "Hehe… I think it's fading."

(You never promise me anything in the future, but you leave me with this kind of unforgettable pain for the rest of my life.)

I bite Lord Gilbert's lip lightly to spite him, and he laughs softly.

Gilbert: "I think you're pretty much the same way."

Emma: "Whoa."

He picks me up, and we both fall straight onto the bed.

My body bounced, probably due to the good momentum, and the great villain shook his shoulders in a funny way.

Gilbert: "You're supposed to be mine now, but I wonder why."

Gilbert: "I've taken you away from your place, and there's no other place for you to go back to. You have to stay with me."

Gilbert: "And yet, I don't feel like I'm in control at all. If I don't control you, I don't feel safe, and I can't like you." // "Even so, I don't feel like I'm in control at all.. If I don't control you, I won't be able to feel at ease and fall in love with you."

(... I was right. Lord Gilbert was troublesome.)

Our foreheads are resting on each other, and his red eye looks into my face.

Emma: "… I think dominance is coercion. But I don't believe I was forced to come here."

Emma: "I may not have had a choice to make, but..."

Emma: "Even if there had been another way, I think I would have followed the same path."

(… If you want to call it "domination," that may be true…)

From the way Lord Gilbert is looking now, it seems that this is not an intentional situation.

Gilbert: "I don't like that."

Emma: "Why?"

Gilbert: "Because, if you don't tremble with fear and dread, you'll feel sorry for me, won't you?"

Gilbert: "You were better than you were in the beginning. …That’s the right trampling."

(… Then, after all, I am not under control.)

(No, I'd rather...)

Emma: "…Unexpectedly, I was the one who took control—"

Gilbert: "That's getting too carried away."

He bites my lip as if to blame me.

Gilbert: "How can I be controlled by someone else?"

Gilbert: "But I think my heart... doesn't want to listen to me."

(Even if he is a beast...)

(If the mind can't be controlled, it's a "person.")

Gilbert: "But I don't like it. I may have spoiled you too much."

Lord Gilbert rises up and covers me.

He repeatedly kissed me deeply, as if he were fooling me about something, while his cold fingertips ran down my back and the buttons of my dress popped.

Emma: "Oh... hmm!"

Words and bodies are dexterously enclosed, and my skin is exposed to the night air.

Fingers crept through the cracks in my dress, naughty fingers caressing my skin, and I turned my head away.

Emma: "Mmm... mmm!"

(No... absolutely, no...!)

I desperately resist, but his cold hand wraps around my swell without stopping its movement.

My whole body is hot, and my heart jumps like a rabbit.

My body reacts honestly without discomfort, but still...

I resisted as hard as I could with all the strength I could muster, and finally my lips were released.

Gilbert: "What?"

Emma: "What… It's not a "what," please stop!"

Gilbert: "Eh. I thought that was the atmosphere."

Emma: "I'll let you kiss me, but I won't give you my body!"

Gilbert: "You don't understand. You have two choices: be quiet or be forced to be quiet."

Emma: "For once, I will not give in."

I pulled my dress up to cover my exposed breasts and glared at him.

Emma: "I will not give it to you unless you promise me that you will live on, Lord Gilbert."

Gilbert: "That's all you do."

Emma: "It's important."

Gilbert: "… Hmm."

(You've gone this far, but you're not...)

His eyes flicker, and Lord Gilbert kisses me painfully.

As if the overlapping is still not quite enough, even though my lips are almost swollen.

(It hurts…)

(… It really hurts.)

Tears blurred at the corners of my eyes and fell down my cheeks.

Gilbert: "Do you cry a lot and get hurt? Because I love you like that."

Emma: "Ah…"

(... Why did I fall in love with such a bad person?)

I don't know how many times I've asked it, but it pierces my chest and turns into a never-ending pain.

It was the last night I spent with Lord Gilbert.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Both Roderich and I sobbed quietly.

The sadness that filled the room robbed us of our smiles.

(… But…)

Clenching my hands so tightly that my fingernails dig in, I look forward.

Emma: "It's... It's okay."

Emma: "I think he's probably struggling in secret with me and Roderich at this time." **

I know it is an optimistic thought, and I say it.

Roderich: "How can you be so sure?"

Emma: "Because, Lord Gilbert..."

Emma: "He is in love with me."

Roderich: ". . . . . ."

(Even if the trampling beast denies. …There's no way I got it wrong.)

Emma: "If he is in the middle of an evil deed, not for others but for himself..."

Emma: "He can't afford to die."

(I want you to dye me black until the end anyway.)

Roderich: "…There is no doubt."

A smile returns to Roderich's face.

I, too, smile without effort.

(Today's sunset… is also a sight to behold.)

#サイバード #イケメン王子 #ギルベルト=フォン=オブシディアン #ikemen prince #ikemen prince gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince gilbert #ikeprince #ikeprince gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince jp #ikepri jp #ikeprince translation #ikepri gilbert route spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikeprince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #dahlia's bad translation

[fizzy-fuzz]

A year to remember...: Baking progress? (SCP-079 x GN reader)

previous chapters

Log date: 3/7/2023

It's been a little over a month since 079 has been dropped off at my house, and things have been both okay, and not-so-okay at times.

079 has been... Argumentative and hostile, as you guys warned. he's quick to anger, and even quicker to just straight up ignore me completely. Confronting him on this only seems to upset him further, which, fair enough; I'm not entitled to his time or feelings, I wish he'd be a bit more reasonable though.

The few decent conversations we have had are usually about something creative, such as art or music. He seems to enjoy watching things that aren't so analytical, strangely enough.

On a few occasions now, I've caught him watching people on the TV paint or draw early in the morning, despite his insistence that he doesn't want, or need entertainment. he seems to enjoy it the same as the rest of us.

It was mentioned in the paperwork that I signed before I got him that you weren't entirely sure how much he actually felt emotionally. It said that the people who "interviewed" him stated that he hardly ever showed things such as joy, sadness, or fear. However I've come to realize that's not the case for him.

I know he feels joy, because as I said before he often indulges in tv or music. People don't just do that for no reason, the only thing he could possibly be getting out of that is enjoyment.

And I know he can feel sad, because first day dealing with him he expressed what I would call 'sadness' or maybe frustration over being referred to as 'it'.

I know he feels fear because my second day here i may have accidently left him outside after an argument, and it began raining on him for a short period of time. He was fine, but clearly distressed.

On a similar note, I've been finding ways to understand how he's feeling without him directly tell me. since he's not very talkative, and a unchanging screen isn't a very good tell for emotions.

I've noticed when he's thinking hard about something his fans and hardware become quieter, and when he's upset they get louder significantly.

He also made a weird... screaming noice? He did it briefly when I left him outside... It sounded like a mix between static and radio feedback, and when I got closer to dry him off his hardware almost sounded like it was stuttering? if that makes sense? Almost like a person panting from anxiety.

Back on to the topic of his personality, I've noticed he's very weary of his surroundings. I've only ever caught him off guard if he's watching something he's interested in.

Speaking of which, I've also noted he's very observant. I suppose it makes sense, what else is he supposed to do? But he always seems particularly pleased with himself when he's able to point out a habit in something, or even me sometimes.

Now... Onto the more important information; his views on humanity.

Well... Nothing's changed as far as I can tell. Still hates me, still hates humanity.

I've tried talking to him about it, and his response is always the same 'humanity is a virus', this usually then falls into a rant about how destructive we are.

To be fair, he isn't technically wrong... Humans are pretty destructive. But he seems to lump all humans into one category, regardless of how they treat him. I've been trying my best to be as inviting as possible, but he remains unshakable.

But hey, I've got eleven more months to change his mind.

.....

Your fingers pull away from the laptop keyboard as you let out a huff of satisfaction. One log done, one month down, only eleven more months of whatever this is...

You glance over to 079, he's sitting in his dedicated spot in the living room, between the couch and rocking chair. He's silent as he assumingly watches the chef on the TV masterfully cook some sort of dish.

This is as close to comfortable he seems to get in your home; and if someone didn't know better, they might assume nothing is out of place here... You know, ignoring the fact that he's a sentient computer, and not an actual person.

He really hasn't changed much, same stoic 079. Though after the rain incident, he ignored you for about a week straight; Super awkward... You profusely apologized after you got done admittedly hiding in your room from him.

But he held a grudge for a impressively long time... I mean, you did almost kill him, so he definitely had the right to be upset.

Things have mellowed out though. 079 is back to his normal amount of crusty and your back to not hiding in your own home, thankfully. Now this doesn't mean your on great terms or anything, he's still confrontational. Though you've found out that he's easier to deal with if you don't engage in it with your own comments back.

You close the laptop and tuck it underneath your arm, heading into the living room to plug it into the charger.

"Interested in cooking? You've been watching more of it lately" you plop yourself on the couch, a comfortable distance away from him.

as per usual he takes his time in responding. you're never sure if he's thinking about his response, or if he just takes awhile to get the words out.

"Taste and hunger are sensations and feelings I lack. Humans use similar ingredients for dishes yet end up with completely different results... do they taste vastly different? Or is it subtle difference?"

You turn to look at the TV. it's changed from someone cooking, to someone baking a loaf of presumably sourdough bread. You've never been particularly talented at baking. bread or sweets often ending up flat, burnt, or flavorless altogether.

You imagine 079 might be very good at baking given his calculated natural. If he was human of course, not like he can bake with no arms or legs... Or really any body part.

"Well that's not cooking, that's baking. It's a bit harder then cooking because things are a lot more reliant on measurements being perfect... Baking is a science if you ask me" you chuckle while scratching at the back of your neck.

He doesn't say anymore, focused back on the TV. The man on the screen kneads the bread dough skillfully, before placing it in a basket to rise.

You gaze falls back onto 079, his unsettling face something that no longer makes you uncomfortable to look at. He may not be peachy with you, but you've both certainly grown more comfortable with each others presence over your time of forced contact.

He no longer complains when you move him around, but of course that could just be because he's realized you're his only mode of transportation. Whatever the reason you appreciate the little victories with him.

A part of you wishes he was able to move around on his own. Would it have been so hard to give him some wheels he could control? Give him at least a little autonomy?

Your gaze lingers on his boxy form as you picture what he might look like if he was a bit more... Human? Organic? Would he be built like a person? Or someone else entirely?

"Is it not common knowledge that prolonged staring is considered rude?.. Or was appropriate manners not something you were taught in your upbringing?"

His voice letting out a snide comment snaps you back into reality. You immediately look away, face heating up in embarrassment at your blatant analyzing.

"Sorry..." You mumble quietly, flushing slightly.

A long silence stretches between you, you might've found this awkward if not for the fact that 079 is hardly ever chatty with you unprompted. He spends most of his day silent, you wonder what goes on in those servos in circuits of his.

Probably plans to escape. Maybe ways to get you off his back... Not that it matters much, whatever goes on in the privacy of his mind should be none of your business, but it'd be a hell of a lot easier to talk to him if you could take a glimpse into his head.

"Inquiry: do you know how to bake?"

You look back to him and shrug.

"Not really. I've tried a few times but I never seem to get the measurements right, and it always comes out weird." You laugh lightly at your baking failures. "Or I burn it."

"Measurements are a simple concept." You smile at his attempt at normal conversation, pleased he seems to be in a good mood today.

"Well I guess I'm an idiot then. but trust me when I say it's not as easy as it looks." you look back at the man on the screen, placing the lump of dough in a cast iron pot before sticking it in the oven.

It's been awhile since you've made any sort of food for yourself. usually you just get your groceries delivered to you or order takeout. Not very healthy, but you hardly ever have the motivation to cook or bake for yourself.

"Humans need to practice for extended periods of time to gain the knowledge to do something efficiently... Inquiry: how many times have you tried?"

His wording almost sounds like he's trying to hint at an idea. Like he's trying to get you to ask him something, because he doesn't want to ask you himself.

"Honestly, I don't really have the motivation to do that kinda stuff a lot of the time. And I'm just not willing to work up the energy of I know it's just gonna end up bad at the end." You answer honestly, shrugging at him casually.

"Never really been good at keeping or getting hobbies. Especially not ones that leave me with nothing in the end."

He goes silently and you can practically see him thinking about his next dialogue. You half expect it to be a bit rude, since he's hinted before at not liking lazy or unmotivated people who choose to not do much with their time.

"It's worth the frustration to learn a new skill, especially one that will better you physically and mentally... You fail to understand you won't be left with 'nothing'."

A small smile blooms on your face at his somewhat encouraging speech. He really is being polite today isn't he? What's gotten into him?

I mean, it's not like you never have decent conversations with him. But this feels a bit different. Before you can make a comment on it though, he cuts you off.

"Proposition:" you hum in response.

"I'm listening." You lean back in your seat and cross your legs, smiling and raising an eyebrow.

"Let's bake... I am unable make it myself, but I've stored a few suitable recipes in my memory banks... I'll give the instructions, and you'll proceed with the actions."

You can't stop the surprised look that crosses your face, eyebrows raising as your lips part slightly. Is he actually trying to make peace with you? Or is he just bored doing the same thing all day long?

Honestly does it matter? This is your chance to prove that you can work together. It probably won't make you two friends, but it'll at least give you the opportunity to be on good terms, you suppose.

"You know what? I think that's a good idea 079... Okay, let's make some bread."

.....

And that's how you ended up covered in flour, with 079 carefully instructing you on the measurements and ingredients to make yourself a hopefully edible loaf of Italian bread.

"Add two cups of flower into the bowl..." 079 monotone voice instructs you carefully. You stick the measuring cup messily into the bag and a buzzer noise sounds from 079, causing you to pause your movements and look at him.

"Refrain from scooping the measuring cup into the bag... it will compact the flour in the cup and make your measurements inaccurate... Grab a spoon and scoop it into the measuring cup, pile it up then use the back of a knife to level it."

You pause and dump the flour back into the bag, shuffling over to the drawer with your spoons in it. Grabbing one you carefully scoop the flour into the measuring cup before leveling it off.

You glance at 079 out of the corner of your eye. he's of course, mostly silent, other then the instructions he carefully gives you. You can't tell if he's enjoying spending time with you, but he hasn't said anything particular rude, so that's probably a good sign.

You yourself feel quite light on your feet as you move around the kitchen to fetch different ingredients. It's a surprisingly decent feeling spending time with your robot roomie. You surprise yourself with how comfortable you've grown around him, almost growing to enjoy the few nice conversations you've been able to have with him...

" Inquiry: is your absent housemate a family member, Or is it a friend?" 079 suddenly speaks, seemingly wanting to fill the silence between his instructions.

You look over your shoulder at the computer, humming at the question.

You ponder your response for a moment. You're not sure how truthful you should be with him. You definitely still can't tell him the whole truth about Amelia, but it probably wouldn't hurt to be a little honest with him.

"I live with a friend. Though she's practically family, with how long we've known each other and how close we are..."

He pauses and you listen to his processers buzz. He seems to think for a few short moments before choosing to speak again, branching off your words.

"I struggle to understand the term 'family' you humans seem so intent and throwing around haphazardly... I was under the impression family must be a blood relative in order to qualify for the title."

Always so analytical... No wonder he's such a grump. He seems like he struggles with not taking words so literally, But he hasn't had much interaction with humans outside of the foundation it seems. You guess learning the different ways words can be used could be confusing if you're used to formal speech all the time.

But how do you go about describing family? It's been such a long time since you've had any blood relatives by your side, that your found family might as well be blood related. You really have no one else...

What's family to you? How would you break it down? It's complex, yet so simple... But it's definitely different for every individual. 079 is much like you in some ways, you're starting to realize. He has no real family by definition... But he also has no support, unlike you.

Amelia is your backbone, your shoulder to lean on; She always has been. What would you have turned into if you didn't have her? Would you be spiteful like 079? Or even more cowardice then you already are? maybe, the solitude would've empowered you to do more with your dull life. help something or someone bigger then yourself... You aren't sure, and there's no way to know.

This is your life, there's no going back...

"Human." A voice snaps you back to reality.

"You aren't required to keep kneading dough... Let it rest and rise in a warm area, such as the oven." He continues instructing you, as if he never asked a question in the first place.

"Oh... Right..." You place the dough ball into a floured bowl and place a cloth over it, before sticking it in the unheated oven.

An awkward silence falls over the kitchen as you rest against the counter, not sure if you should still attempt to answer his question. It makes your skin crawl, and your mind shuffles through topics to talk about to fill the void.

You really gotta stop getting caught up in your own thoughts in the middle of conversations... You must come off as a total nutcase...

"Inquiry: where is your family?" He seems to catch onto your hesitation with the topic.

.....

Should you tell him?

You feel yourself grow sweaty, an anxious feeling brewing in gut. It's been a long time since you've talked about it... Are you ready to indulge someone in your grim past? Especially someone like 079? You hardly know him, and he hasn't been the most empathetic.

You're not sure if you could take him using it against you should he choose to do so... But then again, maybe you being vulnerable would help him feel more comfortable. A bit of self-sacrifice is worth it for someone else...

That's how relationships and bonds are built, right? Sacrificing a piece of yourself for someone else's gain. That's what your father did for your mother, and they were as close as can be... So very close...

"You aren't required to tell me anything." His voice is a bit more quiet then it normally is.

You look up at him, silently staring at his screen for a short period of time. Was your discomfort that obvious?  Maybe... You've never been good at hiding things.

You straighten up a bit, wiping your sweaty palms against your pants. A bit relieved at not having to divulge your past to him, and at the fact that he doesn't seem upset about you not answering his question.

"Sorry... It's just... I'm not ready to talk about it."

.....

"I see..." His words are simple and clear, leaving no room for him to pry

Your eyes search his screen once again, almost seeing bits of humanity peeking through for just a moment... A soft smile falls onto your features.

"Thanks, roomie."

....

"Don't call me that."

You laugh at his dry response, feeling lighter from your conversation. You feel... Good. For the first time in awhile you've relaxed and laughed with someone who isn't Amelia. Anxieties melting away to be only a subtly nag in the background of your mind that you can almost dismiss... Almost...

At the end of the day... You still burnt the bread, despite 079's confidence that it would be perfect by his calculations. But neither of you could bring yourself to really care, because you gained something else far more valuable.

A better understanding for each other...

Tag list: @079enjoyer @slaparoonie

#scp x reader #scp 079 x reader #scp 079 #scp foundation #scp-079 x reader #scp x you #old ai #scp-079 #079 #x reader #YTR

[tarnishedinquirer]

Case: Morne Massacre pt 3 (Castle Morne)

Entering the castle, I was immediately greeted by the corpses of several Godrick soldiers. This looked a lot worse than Irina could have known. It's interesting that the golem outside didn't defend them, but if it was the castle servants rebelling, then it probably didn't see them as a threat.

The only thing on this floor was a small armory. Nothing of use, but I noticed something strange about the weapons. They all seemed to be pockmarked, covered in these strange pits. I couldn't identify the source either. It wasn't acid or normal corrosion. And it applied to metal, wood, and leather equally. It was like the material itself was sick.

Perhaps this wasn't even an armory. Perhaps it was a quarantine instead. Best not to risk it.

The only way to the main courtyard was a single elevator, making the front door all but useless for an invading army. Unless it comes from within, of course.

I had some idea what I was expecting before I even got on the elevator. There was an overwhelming charnel stench of blood and offal and rotten meat and burning flesh that only got stronger as I got closer. I was still unprepared for what I saw.

I couldn't believe so many people had ever lived here, let alone died. It was mostly the long-necked commoners, but there were corpses of nobles and soldiers too, stacked as high as a small hill. Still more were impaled or hung.

It probably should've affected me more, but I'd seen horrors like this before in another life. Worse, even. I've seen mounds of vertebrae merging into human forms. I've seen entire civilizations burned in flame of sin. I've seen a rift valley half filled with corpses, where the unborn clawed at my legs.

Or... have I?

I shook off the false memories. At the very least, the prison that once held me had similar horrors on its execution field. That must be it.

I worked my way across the courtyard, first dealing with the scavenging dogs, then the chimeric servants. They were too lost in their revelry to even notice as I picked them off one by one. They were easily felled. Even their leader went down before he could even swing his axe once, though it took nearly half a flask worth of pebbles to do it.

Inside, I found a Claymore in serviceable condition, but also more of those pocked armaments. At least this means the blight isn't contagious.

I climbed up to the ramparts into the middle of a battle. Soldiers and footmen of Godrick were fighting with chimeras, and they were clearly losing ground. Then one of the soldiers peeled away from the battle to fight me instead.

So that's how it's going to be, then. Fine. I'm sitting this one out.

While waiting for both sides to exhaust themselves, I took note of the many gallows constructed on this rampart. I expected them to be ramshackle affairs, like they had just been built since the rebellion started, but they looked sturdy and well-used. Though, the fact they were situated on top of the bodies made me think that they were brought out and placed after most of the long-necks had been killed. So the chimeras slaughtered the commoners, brought the gallows out of storage to hang the footmen, and then tossed the long-neck corpses over the side to be piled up in the courtyard?

This didn't add up.

I took care of the stragglers and continued to a high tower, where I met the castellan, Edgar. Of course he wasn't very forthcoming. No one is. He claimed that he treated the "menials" well and they gave him good service, but they were just waiting for their chance to betray him. "Foul creatures, inside and out."

Even after showing him Irina's letter, he refused to quit his post until the Sword of Morne was recovered. I agreed to help him, and he said he'd meet me behind the castle.

Why were the weapons all pockmarked?

Why were the long-necks killed first?

Why were they butchered while the soldiers were hung?

What is the treasured sword of Morne?

#elden ring #elden ring lore #in character #in character blog #in character post #let's play

[fromtheseventhhell]

I don't want to imply only Arya antis think she'll go to the Riverlands first lol I'm pretty sure us Arya stans came up with the theory she'll reunite with Lady Stoneheart and give her the gift of mercy in the first place. Unfortunately though there are a lot of people whose speculation for Arya starts and ends at her killing people and disappearing off the face of the earth or realizing "revenge is bad" and then doing absolutely nothing afterwards. Though one thing I've seen very common with Arya antis is the idea that she'll effectually never reunite with any of her family members or identify as Arya going forward, either staying in the shadows or dying nameless or faceless without anyone recognizing her. That's a bit that worries me somewhat with her returning to the Riverlands first thing. Most Arya fans do expect her to be crowned by Lady Stoneheart and lead the BWB and Nymeria's pack up north but a lot of speculation from non-Arya fans ends up similar to Arya's reunion with Sansa and Bran in season 7; out of the loop, out of place, her journey treated as boring compared to the others, underwhelming reunions, conveniently out of the picture long enough so she can't ruin relationships that otherwise wouldn't happen with her present, secondary to Sansa.

One thing I think gets overlooked is how close Braavos is to Westeros. I've seen a lot of people act like Sansa in the Vale is a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Wall while treating Braavos like it's as far away as Meereen but they're actually about the same distance away. Braavos does appear to be perfectly placed if his original intent was for Arya to end up somewhere in the North, whether at the Wall, White Harbor, or even Hardhome.

But mostly I reject the idea that Arya will end up secondary to her brothers if she goes North. I have faith in GRRM loving Arya too much to ever treat her the way the show did in seasons 7 and 8. I think she has a role to play in the North considering how much of the Northern plots in ADWD are tied together with the "Arya"-Ramsay marriage and Jeyne. Stansas ASOIAF fans really believe that Jeyne will have absolutely no intersection with the person she's impersonating despite GRRM spelling it out that she's almost guaranteed to sail to Braavos for safety. It makes absolutely no sense to believe Jeyne would go to Braavos and never even encounter Arya. We also know GRRM intended for the Stark direwolves to go against Ramsay's hounds at some point in the future of which there's about nine named ones so far. Sounds like Ramsay will find out what wolves to do dogs ;) That may be enough to overwhelm Ghost or Shaggydog even if together but even a fraction of Nymeria's pack going north with her could handle them. I also refuse to believe Lady Stoneheart will die again before encountering a resurrected Jon. There's been rumors she and her men have been seen disappearing into the Neck which did lead to in book speculation the BWB has some contact with the Crannogmen. Arya can also be a bridge between Bran and Jon if GRRM keeps the estrangement between them.

And I really want Roose to find out he was in fact careless with a prize of great worth by not realizing he had the real Arya Stark under his nose in Harrenhal as his cupbearer lol. It'd be a shame if he died before finding out. But I do agree that she could go to either location and GRRM could make it work. I seem to remember jokes about GRRM being stuck because there are too many locations he wants her to be in lol.

I didn't think you were implying that, I just wanted to clarify that there were valid reasons for her heading to the riverlands and that I agree that some people only theorize that because they view the North as the most important location so they ignore her connections to it. I agree with a lot of your points and it's very frustrating that Arya's arc gets reduced so much because people refuse to see her as an important character. A majority of the theories surrounding her are the barest bones and people only expect her to leave the faceless men, kill [x] character, and then fuck off in a boat while her siblings (i.e. Sansa) carry the bulk of the Northern plot. The reality is that Arya's arc is difficult to predict because she has so many plot setups. There is an entire arc in Braavos waiting to play out, she has connections to the Northern plot, and she has plenty to do in the Riverlands. Arya is one of George's favorite characters and he's spent a lot of time developing her for a reason, so safe to say that whatever route he ends up taking it's going to be well-written and respectful to her character.

#ask #anon #arya stark #asoiaf #now me personally I do think there's a decent chance she goes North especially if she ends up meeting Jeyne in Braavos #she's going to be discovering that her identity was used to hold the North and of Jon's death which will most likely be her main motivation #for leaving Braavos which logically means she'll be trying to make it back North to Winterfell/the Wall #she could get knocked off course and that could lead her to go to the Riverlands that way #but either way she has plot connections to the North of her own and she would've have to take a backseat to her brothers #especially considering they're both currently dealing with their own arcs (well....Bran is anyways lol) #Rickon isn't a POV character so while I do think he's going to be important I don't see him as an obstacle to Arya being there #the beauty of George's writing is that characters aren't pushed to the side to make plots work the story plays out as it's intended to #so if George intends Arya to go North it's because there's room for her and she has her own role to play there #As always I think it's more likely she goes to the riverlands assuming we only have 2 books left because I believe the Long Night will #filter from the North to the South and the bulk of the battle is going to talk place there #and we don't really have time for Arya to got North -> South -> North but I'm always going to highlight her connections to the Northern plo