#and it can work just fine for the entire day???

[usuallydyinginside]

TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.

Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.

But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.

Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).

In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.

At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.

She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.

Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?) The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.

Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.

He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.

Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."

I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.

Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.

Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.

LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.

Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.

And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)

Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).

So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.

I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.

WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is, "That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."

Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.

Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.

The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"

Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.

Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.

ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.

SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.

Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)

So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.

I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.

Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?

You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.

(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)

Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.

#francesca bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton s3 #john stirling #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton season three #Francesca is Autistic #Autism #Autistic

[stevestark]

Eddie only gets told snippets of everyone else's Upside Down experiences after Vecna, like, the sanitized version. The story told by each person but omitting the most personally traumatizing parts. Which means he doesn't know much about Steve and Robin Versus The Russians. Not in its full, gory detail.

So he doesn't think anything of it when Steve has a day off and wants to hang out, just asks if he minds coming with him to Indianapolis. Steve says yes immediately because he just doesn't want to spend another day alone in his big empty house, even if it means several hours in Eddie's deathtrap of a vehicle.

But then they get there and Eddie is parking outside a tattoo parlor and saying he got a last minute booking with his favorite artist and that he's so excited to cover some of the scars he has from the bats and Steve can barely hear him over the fuzziness that seems to be filling his entire brain.

He lets Eddie guide him into the shop, watches Eddie and the tattooist make small talk, follows Eddie to the table, sits on the stool next to him, and tries to look anywhere but at the tattoo gun.

Eddie doesn't notice at first, too jazzed about the idea he and the artist have come up with, blabbering about how he can finally take his shirt off at the lake again. It's not until the line work is done that he realizes Steve's breathing has gone shallow.

He asks the artist if they can take a smoke break before filling the tattoo in with color, and he gently takes Steve's hand and pulls him out back to ask what's wrong. Steve's too deep into a panic attack to answer, so Eddie just puts Steve on the side opposite his new work and pulls him in close, squeezing him as tight as he can and just gently shushing him, running his hand through Steve's hair.

After a few minutes, Steve's breathing easier, and Eddie asks him again if he's okay.

"I'm fine, I just... I hate needles. Ever since the Russians drugged me and Robin. Can't be around them."

Eddie frowns, realizing this must be one of the parts of the story he knows they were keeping from him. "Why did Russians drug you?"

Steve sighs, pulls out of Eddie's grasp, and sits on the ground against the back wall of the tattoo shop. "Dustin picked up a Russian transmission, summer of '85. We translated it, found their secret base under the mall, and realized they were opening the Gate back up. But then we were seen, and to buy time, Robin and I let ourselves get caught so Erica and Dustin could escape and get help."

Eddie sits next to Steve, their knees bumping. "Erica Sinclair? God, that kid really is the most badass of all of us."

"Yeah," Steve laughs. "Anyway, the Russians beat the shit out of me, asking who do you work for and shit like that. Didn't believe me when I said Scoops Ahoy. So they brought in this Doctor and he drugged me and Robin to get us to talk. Just straight up jammed a big ass needle full of mystery drugs into my neck. Ever since then, needles freak me the fuck out. They had to strap me down in the hospital just to get an IV in me when Robin insisted I get the bat bites checked out."

Eddie runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Steve. I never would've brought you here with me if I knew."

"I know," Steve says quietly. "'S'not your fault. I'm trying to get better at being open about things like this but it's just..."

"Hard. Yeah. I wake up screaming most nights, and I can tell Wayne feels bad because he doesn't know what to do. Because he doesn't know what's causing it."

"Yeah," Steve sighs.

They sit quietly out there for another ten minutes before the tattooist comes back out to see if Eddie wants to keep going, and he glances at Steve, sees the way he's gone pale and rigid, and shakes his head. "Sorry, man, think we're gonna have to pick this up another time."

Eddie stands, grabs Steve's hand and hauls him to his feet, and walks inside, never once letting go of Steve. He sets an appointment for a few weeks from now, on a day he knows Steve is working, and they leave the shop.

The second they're in the car, Eddie sees the color returning to Steve's face, and he drives aimlessly through the city, finally stopping at a combination bookstore/cafe.

"Come on then, big boy," he says with a teasing grin. "I do believe I promised to teach you about Hobbits."

#steddie fic #drabble #stranger things fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #just a passing thought I had whilst watching Steve and Robin get drugged

[hellcat8908]

Struggling Cassian x Female Reader

You were struggling. Today had been one of the worst days you've had since opening a bookstore. You were currently breaking down in the stockroom. You made sure to shield the bond. You didn't want Cassian to worry about you. The bell above the door chimed, announcing the arrival of a customer. "I'll be right with you." You called as you started drying your eyes with a tissue. "It's just me. Take your time." Azriel called back. You quickly spashed some cool water on your face as you try to regain your composure. You walked out to the counter, "Here to pick up the book for Gwyn?" You reach beneath the counter and pick up the book you had previously set aside.

"Yeah, would you mind wrapping it for me? If it's not too much trouble." He asks as he walks towards the counter from one of the shelves he was browsing. "Sure, no trouble at all." You reply, keeping your gaze down so he can't see your face. "Everything ok?" He asks, noticing you seem off. "Yeah, just tired, inventory time and all." You answer as you wrap up the book. Once the bow is in place, you hand it over to Azriel. "We'll see you at dinner tonight, right?" He asks. "I have a lot I need to do here, I was hoping you'd pass a message on to Cassian that I'll be working late and not to wait for me." You say quietly. "Yeah, I can do that." He says. You thank him before he turns to leave. "Hey, y/n," he says, pausing by the door. "Yes?" You question. "Nothing, thanks for doing this for me." He says before leaving.

You made your way to the back and started getting ready to take inventory. As you were finishing making sure you had everything you needed, the bell above the door chimed. "I'll be with you in a moment." You call out from the back. "Don't rush on my account." Cassian says from the stockroom doorway. "I thought you were training with Azriel." You say, not turning to face him. "I was, but something more important came up." He says as he steps behind you. "How long will you be gone?" You ask. "I'm not going anywhere." He says. "You just said you had something more important come up, so I assumed you were going on a mission." You respond.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asks gently. "Nothing, what makes you think something is wrong? I'm fine." You start to ramble. Cassian doesn't hesitate before pulling you into his arms. That one simple gesture is enough to break the dam that was holding your tears back. "I'm sorry." You manage between sobs as he holds you. "You're alright, baby. I've got you." He says as his fingers trace soothing patterns along your back. "Let it all out, baby." He says before kissing the top of your head. Your tears soak his shirt as he continues to comfort you. You gradually relax into his body as your breathing evens out.

"Let's get you home." Cassian says as he starts leading you out of the stockroom. "But I still need to work on inventory and catch up on some other paperwork." You try to argue. "It can wait. I'm taking you home and taking care of you." He says gently but leaving no room for further arguments. He patiently waits as you take the drawer from the register and lock it in the safe, waiting to count it until tomorrow. Once everything is locked up, he takes you home, carrying you the entire way.

Once inside, he gently places you on the couch before going to making you hot chocolate with caramel and chocolate drizzled over the whipped cream. He carefully hands you the mug before sitting beside you. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks softly, not wanting to upset you. "Just been having a rough few days....you know, mentally." You feel embarrassed as you say the last part, looking down at your hot chocolate. "That's nothing to be embarrassed about," he says as he gently lifts your head to look at him, "I only wish I'd realized sooner that you were struggling."

"I didn't want to burden you with it. You have enough going on already without me piling on." You comment. "Baby, you'll never be a burden to me. You're my top priority, and I want you to come to me with anything." He says before pulling you into his lap as tears line your eyes. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to make you cry." He says as he gently thumbs away your tears. He takes your hot chocolate from you and sits it on the table so it doesn't spill. "I've got you, baby, now and forever." He murmurs in your hair, gently rocking with you. You settle against him, seeking comfort only he can give you.

A knock pulls you from your peaceful moment. You move to answer it, but Cassian tells you he's got it. He returns moments later with two plates of food and hands you one. The delicious smell is enough to make your stomach growl. "Don't wait on me, baby." Cassian says with a smile as you take a few bites. "Who brought this?" You ask between bites. "Azriel brought it from dinner tonight. He feels kinda bad about earlier." Cassian says before eating some more. "Why does he feel bad about earlier? He didn't do anything." You say. "He feels bad he asked you to wrap the book for gwyn when you weren't having a good day. In his words, it was one more thing you didn't really need to do." Cassian says.

"Looks like I'm going to have to talk to him." You say teasingly, making Cassian smile. "You can straighten him out tomorrow when he comes in." Cassian says. "Comes in?" You ask, confused. "Yeah, him and I are going to help you get inventory done." Cassian clarifies. "You don't have to do that. I can manage." You say. "You're not getting your way on this, baby. We're helping you." Cassian says. "The two of you don't know how to inventory." You state. "No, but we can count while you fill in the paperwork." He states. "Alright, I hope you two are ready to take orders tomorrow because I'll be the one giving them." You tease. "I'll gladly take orders from you anytime." He teases with a wink as the two of you finish dinner.

#acotar #batboys #acotar fanfic #cassian x reader #cassian acotar #cassian #cassian fluff

[morgana-larkin]

Here it is! Mine part 5! Here we take a look in the past! In part 6 it’ll be more of them raising the kids again.

On another note: I’ll be finishing up Marilyn Thornhill and reader, I’m halfway done so I might finish before I sleep.

Mine - Part 5

Warnings: smut, swearing, lots of fluff

Words: 4.5k

You get home and you get the stroller out for the twins and then hand it to Melissa while you get Amelia. Melissa expertly sets up the stroller and then puts the twins in it. You all head inside and set Amelia up on the tv while Melissa sets the twins down for their nap. You don’t even question why she’s taking longer, you know she must have missed them and now you both can spend the entire summer, the 5 of you, just being together.

“Mommy?” Amelia pipes up.

“Yes honey?” You asked as you were sitting on the couch and Amelia on a little chair that Jacob got her for her birthday.

“How did you and Mamma met?” She asked just as Melissa was coming down the stairs.

“Well how we met was where we work.” You told her.

“I know that, but how?” Amelia asks.

“Oh, do you want the story, little Tesoro?” Melissa asks her and she nods. Melissa picks Amelia up and sits on the couch beside you with Amelia on her lap. “Well it all started about 9 years ago…

*9 years ago*

You were walking into Abbott Elementary, excited to start your first day as the new aide for Melissa Schemmenti.

You walk into the front office and get your badge and Ava brings you to the break room to meet Melissa.

Melissa was running late that morning as she overslept from staying up late making 2 lesson plans. She went to walk to the break room when she runs right into someone.

“Oh I’m so sorry, are you ok?” You say and stabilise whoever it was.

“Ya I’m fine. Are you okay?” Melissa asks and looks up to see the other person and you both lock eyes.

You look at her and your mouth goes dry, she was beautiful. “Um *clears throat* ya ya, I’m fine.”

“Oh well this is perfect, Melissa, this is your new aide y/n y/l/n.” Ava pipes up.

“Oh, perfect.” She says with a sigh and rolls her eyes.

“I was told she’ll be better than Ashley.” Ava says.

“She better be.” Melissa says and then looks at you. “Hey kid, why don’t you head down to the classroom and get settled, I’m just going to go get a coffee.” She says as she hands you the classroom key.

“Oh, where’s the classroom?” You ask as you take the key.

“Ava, you’re not doing anything, why don’t you show her where my classroom is.” Melissa says and then walks away, not giving Ava a chance to reply.

Ava brings you to her classroom and you go in. You’re shocked at the amount of desks there are. “How many students are in this class?” You ask Ava.

“It’s a split second and third grade class. 15 second graders and 10 third graders.” She tells you and you sigh.

“No wonder she needs an aide.” You say and Ava smiles.

“Alright I’m going back to my office.” Ava says and walks out.

You find the extra desk at the other end of the classroom and put your stuff down on it. You take a look around the classroom when Melissa walks in.

“Alright kid, I’m gonna be blunt with you. The first aide I had, she sucked, I got less work done with her here. So you better actually be helpful or I won’t hesitate to tell Ava to fire you.” She says and you’re taken back.

“Um, uh, alright.” You tell her.

“You alright?”

“I’m just, um, you’re a little intimidating is all.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Well good, then hopefully we won’t have a problem.” She tells you. She then goes over the lesson plan for today and what you’ll need to do today and you listen to her every word carefully.

After the first day she was impressed by how helpful you were. After about a month she decided to start being nicer to you as you proved you weren’t another Ashley. She noticed that at lunch time, you stay in the classroom and type on your laptop.

“Hey kid, why don’t you come and have lunch with us in the break room?” She asks you and look up from your laptop.

“I would love to, but I gotta finish this paper for school.” You tell her and that caught her interest.

“You go to school?” She asks and you nod.

“Trying to complete my teaching degree.” You tell her and she smiles. No wonder you were a good aide. She looks over at your laptop and takes a look at the paper you’re working on, she then brings both your lunches to the classroom and helps you with your paper.

After that day, you notice a change in Melissa, she actually has conversations with you now, she helps you with your teaching degree, she gives you her phone number for just in case, and she once split her lunch with you when you forgot one. And you have to admit that the lunch she shared with you was the best thing you ever had. There was something about you that just drawed her to you, she doesn’t want to but she’s attracted to you. After a month of working with you everyday, she’s developed a small crush on you. She has no idea where you stand though, maybe she should try flirting with you.

3 months pass by and you run into the break room one morning in search of Melissa. “Melissa! Melissa! Melissa!” You yell down the hall and you see her when you burst into the break room and she’s looking at you curiously.

“What’s up hon?” She asks you.

“I passed!” You tell and her jaw drops as she stands up.

“Are you serious?” She asks and you nod with a huge smile.

“I got 90%!!!” You exclaim. “I got my teaching certificate!” You shout and she runs and hugs you.

“Congratulations hon!” She tells you.

3 months pass by and it was the end of the school year and the end of you being her aide. You and Melissa decided to keep in contact as you became friends. Ava comes in to the break room at lunch to talk to you.

“Hey y/n.” She calls for you and you turn to look at her.

“Yes?”

“Wanted to let you know that you got the teaching position for third grade.” Ava tells you and you gasp.

“Are you serious?” Ava nods.

Melissa invites you over that night for dinner to celebrate your new job at Abbott. She gets you to taste test her food and she brings the spoon to your mouth as you take a taste. As soon as it hits your taste buds you let out a small moan. You swallow and Melissa is looking at you stunned. Before you can react, she puts her lips on yours and you kiss her back.

The two of you go out for a month before you have sex for the first time. You had a date at her place and it’s the start of August right now so you decided to wear a short dress and it shows some cleavage as well. Melissa keeps looking at your legs and chest the entire time and you see her eyes are blown a bit and she licks her lips multiple times that night. Melissa puts the dishes in the sink then goes out to the dinner table where you’re clearing the table. You’re bending over a bit to reach the other side of the table when Melissa pulls your body up against hers and kisses your neck. She has her left hand placed on your stomach to hold you to her and the other one is touching the exposed skin of your chest.

“It’s like you want me to snap and make you mine.” She tells you and you moan. “Is that what you want, baby? Want to be mine?” She asks with a husky voice and you gasp as she sucks on your neck.

“Yes! Yes that’s what I want. I want you to fuck me so good Mel.” You tell her and she smirks. Her right hand goes down from your chest and cups your boob through your dress.

“I see you decided to not wear a bra, naughty girl.” She whispers in your ear and you shiver.

“Want to know something else?” You ask her.

“And what would that be?” She asks you.

“I’m also not wearing any underwear.” You tell her and you don’t see the way her eyes are fully blown and all her self control leaves her. She brings you up against the nearest wall and trails kisses down your neck. She then hooks her fingers around your dress straps and you nod at her. She pulls them off your shoulders and lets the dress fall, and true to your words, you were completely bare underneath. She takes a few seconds to look at your body and she licks her lips.

“You’re beautiful.” She tells you and takes a nipple into her mouth. You moan and put your arms on her shoulders so you don’t fall to the floor. Melissa seems to understand your struggle and moves you to sit on the dinner table, the side you didn’t use to eat. As soon as you’re sitting on the table, she goes to put your other nipple in her mouth and you moan. You put your hands in her hair and hold her head to your nipple as it’s been awhile since you’ve had a skillful tongue on your breasts. She trails kisses down your stomach and she gets on her knees and keeps your legs separated. She then connects her mouth to your entrance and licks a long strip up and you gasp. She then puts her tongue in your entrance and starts sliding it in and out. You grab her head and keep it to your pussy so she doesn’t move as it feels so good.

Melissa is enjoying the fact that you want to keep her there, even if she’s getting less oxygen. She then brings a finger to your clit and rubs circles on it, you start bucking your hips and you’re slow close now. “Omg Mel, I’m so close.” You tell her and she moans. Your legs start to shake and your toes are curling and then you come seconds later. Melissa licks it all up and then she stands up. She connects her lips with yours and you taste yourself on her and you moan at that. She then slides a finger in your entrance while she’s kissing you and you gasp and pull her closer to you.

“You’re so willing for me aren’t ya? So willing for me to ruin you and make you mine.” She almost growls in your ear. She then adds a second finger and puts her thumb to your clit and you cry out.

“Omg! Yes Mel! Please ruin me!” You scream out then you whimper. It makes Melissa go faster and your legs start shaking.

“Come on baby, come for me.” She tells you and you cum for a second time.

You put your head on her shoulder to catch your breath while she pulls out of you and wraps her arms around you. Once you catch your breath you take the hand of hers that was in you, and put her two fingers she used in your mouth and you lick her fingers clean and you moan.

“Oh fuck hon.” She says breathless and then she whimpers. You then go to take her shirt off and she helps you by raising her arms, her bra following quickly after that. You go to kiss her neck but then she leads you to her nipples and you put one in your mouth. She gasps at the sensation and then you suck on it and she bucks her hips. While licking and sucking her nipples, you roam your hands all over her stomach and moan at feeling her soft skin. She notices this and it gives her a confidence boost as she was a bit self conscious about her stomach. “You love my body hon?” She asks you and you nod then switch to her other nipple. She lets you lick and suck her other nipple for 20 seconds before she gets impatient and pulls you away. “Then prove it, get on your knees for me, and make me cum with just your tongue.” She tells you and you get off the table and onto your knees. She spreads her legs for you and then you attach your mouth to her clit. You start licking and sucking and she leans forward to hold on to the table and moans. “Oh god baby! Yes keep coming, your mouth and tongue feel so good.” She says very breathy.

You do a rather hard suck on her clit and she falls to her elbows on the table. While sucking on her clit, you bring your hands up to cup her breasts as they’re right above your head, and play with the nipples. Her legs start to shake as she’s getting closer to an orgasm.

“Baby, put your fingers in me please. It’s been so long.” She says and while she said just your tongue at first, you won’t disobey her. You stick 2 fingers in her and she gasps. You stick a third finger in her and she cries out and then comes. You slow down inside of her and then pull out. Before you can react, she’s kneeling down to your level and pulls your legs so that you’re sitting with your legs out and she starts grinding your thigh. “Lick the fingers that were inside of me.” She tells you and you obey. “Mmm, so obedient.” She says and grinds on your thigh faster. You go and put a nipple in your mouth and she puts her hands in your hair. It doesn’t take her long for her to cum a second time. She slows down and catches her breath on you. She kisses you for a few seconds and then her breath evens out. “Thank you for sticking your fingers in me, it’s been awhile since something has been inside of me.”

“It’s not a problem Mel.” You tell her and then kiss her. In the morning she has you put the strap on and lay on your back while she rides it. You watch as the strap fills her entrance until it’s fully in and then she starts riding it. It’s such an amazing sight to see and it’s all for you. She comes and that’s when an idea pops in your mind. While she’s blissed out, you pull her off and then get behind her and put the strap in her and start fucking her from behind.

“Uh? Y/n…what are you- OMG!” She says and lets you pound into her as it feels so good. You find her clit and rub it and she falls forward as she screams out. You keep her hips lifted and the new angle makes it even better. She comes not even a minute after the first one. You don’t stop though as you’re just about to come as well and she notices. She feels her third building fast. “Y/n…come… with me… baby.” She says as her legs start to shake along with yours.

You cum and then the sound of you cumming sends her over the edge herself. You slow down inside of her and then pull out carefully. You take the strap off and then cuddle into her.

“Wow hon, where did that come from?” She asks with a giggle and you blush.

“I don’t know, it just came to my mind so I did it.”

“Hmm, well it was a nice surprise, it felt really good. But just remember that I’m in charge in the bedroom.” She tells you sternly.

“What if we fuck outside of the bedroom?” You respond slyly and she looks at you for a second before she bursts out laughing. She then tickles your sides and you start giggling, “ah Mel.” You say through giggles.

“You want to be sly then this is what you get.” She tells you while she’s laughing.

“Ok I surrender! I surrender! I got no white flag because I’m naked.” You said and she sighs happily and stops tickling you.

“Naked is how I prefer you.” She whispers in your ear and you smile at her.

“Hmm, naked is how I prefer you too.” You tell her and she smiles at you. “Hey Mel.” You say and look at her and she’s looking at you. “I love you.” You tell her and she beams.

“I love you too Amore.” She tells you and you smile and kiss her.

*11 months later*

Melissa is putting the finishing touches on the cannoli she made for you guys before putting it in the fridge. She wants everything to be perfect for your one year anniversary.

She hears the door open followed by a “Mel, I’m here!” You yell and she runs out of the kitchen and right to you. She reaches you and picks you up and spins you around. “Ahh!” You scream as she took you by surprise.

“HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AMORE!” She yells and you giggle. She puts you down and kisses your lips and you kiss her back.

You reach in your pocket and pull out an envelope and hand it to her. “Happy Anniversary Mel.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

“You didn’t have to get me anything Amore. The fact that you’re mine already makes me happy everyday.” She tells you and you smile.

“Nevertheless, open it, open it, open it! I’ve had to keep this a secret for 2 months.” You tell her and she giggles at your excitement.

“Alright I’m opening it.” She says and opens the envelope and pulls out the contents and stares in shock. “What? But these are really good seats… to an eagles game.” She says in disbelief and looks at you confused.

“I know a guy.” You tell her.

“Woman after my own heart.” She tells you and kisses you. “Thank you Amore.” She tells you and boops your nose.

You then go to her ear to whisper something. “I’m wearing your other gift.” You whisper and she shivers. You see her eyes go black with lust at that and you see a conflict in her.

“B-but… the food…it’s ready.” She says then looks at you. “Show me first.” She tells you and you pull your dress up to show her a small red lingerie dress and she becomes breathless.

“We should eat the food Mel.” You tease her and she picks you up with a growl.

“I’m gonna eat you first.” She says and pushes you up against a wall.

*1 year later*

You open her door to the house and she runs to you and kisses you after a hard day at work and all the stress leaves her body instantly.

“Happy anni-”

“Move in with me.” She blurts out and you look at her stunned.

“What?”

“Will you move in with me?” She asks you and you smile.

“Yes!” You tell her and she kisses you passionately.

*1 year later*

“Mel, I had to go to 3 different stores to find the exact ingredients you wanted.” You tell her as you walk into your shared home. You turn around and see Melissa coming towards you and pulls you to the kitchen. You walk into the kitchen and you see the meal you had when she first kissed you. You look at her and she’s smiling but also nervous about something.

“Amore, it’s in this very spot where the most important moment of my life happened. I couldn’t resist you any longer and I kissed you. And as soon as I did, I knew I’d want to spend the rest of my life kissing you.” She says and you’re confused as to what’s going on. “I was making this exact pasta for you when you got a full time job at Abbott.” She tells you and brings a spoon up to your mouth to get you to taste it. And it tastes just like it did 3 years ago and you hum. “Your first reaction was better.” She teases you and you giggle. “3 years ago we started going out and I don’t regret a single moment with you. You’re the love of my life Amore and I want you to be mine forever.” She says and gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring box. You gasp and she has a smile on her.

“Y/n, will you marry me?” She asks and before she opens the ring box, you tackle her into a hug.

“Yes yes yes yes yes!” You say.

“Woah!” Melissa says as she’s pulled back by the hug and falls to the floor with you in her arms. You kiss her lips and smile at her and she smiles at you.

*1 year later*

“I’m so nervous.” You say, pacing around the living room to one of her siblings' houses. You can’t remember which one at the moment as there’s too many thoughts in your head.

“Relax honey.” Your mom tells you. “It’s just pre wedding jitters. That girl out there loves you with her whole being. She’s not going to leave you.” Your mom tells you. Your mom is giving you a way today as your father just had a surgery and is walking with a cane for a couple months and can’t stand for too long. “You look beautiful honey.” Your mom tells you. You got the wedding dress of your dreams and your whole family put their money together to get it for you. “Now let’s go outside to that backyard and get you married to that bride out there who can’t stop smiling.” She tells you and you smile.

“She’s been smiling a lot?” You ask her.

“A few people have told her to stop for a bit or her cheeks will hurt before the night ends.” Your mom tells you and you link her arm with yours.

The people you chose to stand with you make their way down the aisle, then a little cousin of Melissa’s goes down and places flowers. Then the wedding song starts everyone stands up and looks at you. You emerge from the crowd and you and Melissa lock eyes. You see her in the best white pantsuit you’ve ever seen and she makes it even better and it takes your breath away.

“Fuck.” Melissa mutters. Only quiet enough for Barb, who’s marrying you two, could hear. You see all of Melissa’s siblings standing there beside her. And you see your long time best friends, as well as Janine and Jacob, standing near where you’re going to be. You walk down the aisle with your mom and you get closer and closer to your future wife. You eventually reach her and your mom joins your hands together and looks at Melissa with a glare.

“Don’t fuck it up.” She tells her sternly.

“I don’t plan too, I’d be an idiot if I did.” Melissa tells your mom and then looks at you and smiles more. “You look beautiful Amore.” She tells you with heart eyes. Barb starts the wedding and you and Melissa look at each other, both of you have hearts as eyes.

“And as I understand it, you two have written your own vows.” Barb says and you both nod.

Melissa goes to pull hers out and looks at it and then puts it back. “I know what I really want to say to you.” She says and then takes a deep breath. “When we first met, I didn’t like you. You were hired to be my aide and I got traumatised from my previous aide. You proved how good of an aide and teacher you are to those kids and to me. And somewhere in that time I became attracted to you. It took me a few months before I actually did something about my feelings, when I kissed you in the kitchen. Best and most important kiss of my life. You have been so patient with me and I never felt rushed or pressured with you, and I couldn’t be happier than to be able to love you everyday and now to be able to call you my wife.” She tells you and a tear falls down your cheek, Melissa wipes your tear away and then you go to speak.

“I should have gone first because you made me forget my entire vow.” You say and she chuckles, as well as a few people in the crowd. “Melissa, when I first laid eyes on you after bumping into you in the hall, you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I thought you were out of my league and was scared when I got feelings for you. I never thought I’d be able to even kiss you but now here you are, about to be my wife. My feelings and love for you has only grown since that first moment in the hallway and I know I will continue to love you more each and every day of my life.” You tell her and her eyes become watery. You’re two focused looking at Melissa that you barely register you two putting the rings on each other and everything else that’s said until Barb says those last words.

“I now pronounce you wife and wife, you may now kiss the bri-” Barb doesn’t get to finish as Melissa takes you and gives you a passionate kiss.

*a year and a half later*

“I want a baby.” Melissa suddenly says as you’re cuddling on the couch together and you turn to her.

“What?”

“I want a kid. I’ve always wanted one and never got the chance. I thought it wouldn’t happen for me so I gave it up but I’ve recently been thinking that I still want a child.” Melissa tells you and you smile.

“I want a child too.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

“Really?” She asks and you nod.

“Why don’t we start tonight?” You tell her and she immediately picks you up and brings you to the bedroom.”

*present day*

“It took a few months but then eventually we got news that mommy was pregnant with you and we were thrilled. Then she got pregnant with the twins and we were so happy. We married the love of our lives, and we have 3 kids now that we love.” Melissa explains and Amelia is looking at her confused while you’re looking at her with adoration in your eyes. You always loved remembering you and Melissa’s past, how you fell in love and built your family.

Amelia goes to play with her toys on the floor while you and Melissa cuddle.

“I love you Mel.” You tell her.

“I love you too Amore.” She tells you and gives you a kiss.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

Let me know if you want to be added!

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

[carionto]

Pressure and Release

Human: *hmm-ing at a set of dials and gauges*

Alien: What seems to be *translation unit catches up with the information they're displaying* OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!!! GET TO THE ESCAPE PODS NOW!!!!

H: Shh, it's fine, I'm just experimenting.

A: OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE HORRIBLY!

H: Hey! Rude. *turns a dial causing a loud hissing noise* It's just air compressors and hydraulics.

A: *due to not dying, is beginning to relax* Why do you need up to 200 atmospheres running through these systems. We have invented alloy-specific magnetization mechanisms. Please, why do you keep insisting on these volatile and explosive means?

H: *turns the dial up* Because... *releases the pressure again, loud sudden hissing sound again* That's a cool sound.

A: Just because you think something is 'cool' doesn't make it-

H: *interrupts with another air build up and release sound without breaking eye contact*

A: *leaves*

H: *continues to play around*

_________________________________________

Okay, so I wanna get this off my chest. I find myself now for the fourth time starting a fun little activity, doing it for months on end, having a blast, and then almost suddenly dropping it entirely. First time I wrote some short stories or something every day for about six months and put it on deviantart. Then some longer form stuff started cropping in, sort of continuous narratives or whatever, and I stopped. Second was running a open D&D campaign with a persistent world but ever changing party, each session a sort of one-shot with a decision that would impact the whole world and what future sessions would exist. Not even 10 sessions in I felt under pressure to continue and build upon what I had already and just couldn't and stopped. Third was another kind of TTRPG, this time running my own server for Lancer. Again, open one shots, but less connected and I would hopefully get some of the players to want to run their own games within this freeform framework that I directly lifted from a D&D server I was in, even had some of the same people join as players. Few months later, I felt this massive pressure from myself to run games and come up with new scenarios that I just froze up. I cancelled game after game and just eventually abandoned the server and the resources I had made. Fourth time was here on tumblr itself. Back to writing some short form stuff on a fairly regular basis, almost daily for some time even. Had a blast, and then longer form content started creeping in. I thought I wanted to write some stories with an overarching plot and recurring characters and connected storylines, build up and pay off, that sort of thing. Again, I created this massive pressure by myself for myself of myself to do something I apparently can't. I created this sense of expectation of myself "Well, I started this, I should finish it, but where do I go, what do I do, how can I connect this?" And then this self-inflicted pressure got to me, again. And I stopped.

What I have known for a while, but couldn't put into words is that I don't want to tell a big long epic story or anything like that. I don't have one of those in me and forcing something like that only makes me shrivel up and run away. I have a world, several in fact, in my mind. Entire continents of a low fantasy character driven political intrigue and drama based world with tons of rules and restrictions, thousands of years of history, strong personalities for the main actors and so many individual scenes with them and the supporting cast, and a timeframe for when the overarching story happens and how it ends. But no story itself. Just scenes. I have a high fiction sci-fi world, again, with very distinct factions and races, most of the details I have written out back when I was a teen in a physical notebook with pen and pencil. Lots of historical points and events, how the races work, their domains if you will, near magical powers I try to explain with plausible science. Tons of specific details. Even drew each of their common symbols, how one of the languages is structured, schematics of how their cities are planned, and details on other planets in the system and how those might be important later. But, not a single individual character or story. Just dry facts. And then we have the loose sci-fi world I've created here. Bunch of different angles and perspectives, some comedic, some more serious, even put Cthulu in there. Many short and mostly self-contained stories and episodes of various humans doing things an exaggerated version of humanity would do. There is potential for a number of expanded and longer form stories here, some I attempted, and as mentioned, what ultimately made me stop. I don't have a book in me, and I don't want to write one. I just like to write little snippets and I want to get myself to accept this idea that, no, it does not need to become more than that. Because every time I start going down a path where it feels like it should be more than a one page thing, I seize up, start thinking that I need to do this, panic when I can't come up with anything, go silent, and give up. It just does not work for my brain. And that's fine.

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humanity fuck yeah #carionto #introspection

[glassrowboat]

Selfess. Kim Dokja.

Summary: The irony, to be a reader's reader. To view his story in between breaks at work, between sick days and vacations, as words flickered before you the same way they did for him on the subway. Digital words trying to break down every little aspect of a man you know hurts inside with a raw passion. Like scraped skin meeting air for the first time. It made you want to hold him, to listen to him, to comfort him, but Dokja always held you at arms length in some way, even if it was so subtle no one but you could sense it.

Author's Note: This has no spoilers for the manhwa readers but was written for those who have gone through the entire novel

Word Count: 3500+

Written for 'Help Me, Hold Me' a collab by @tomuras

Selfishness. A human trait. One bled into society to the point it has been ingrained in every sidewalk; every ruined shop with shelves toppled over from those searching desperately for food, only to find nothing; every hand held out waiting to be held; and every moment that passes by while you're selfish enough to dare to take another breath. Possibly robbing another of their own air to fill their lungs.

Should you stop and risk apologizing?

No, there was never the time to spare.

Too selfish to stop and give those few precious seconds to another person as they cry for aid or in pure, unbridled wrath as you kill the person next to them. Throat squeezed between your bare hands even after their pulse faded away. Only letting go because you were pushed off. Having, at the time, been shoved to the ground as a murderer just like you rose a pipe so high you couldn't imagine it doing anything other than crashing into your skull as it fell.

Whenever that memory comes up, it somehow always leaves a dull ache in your head, like you're remembering the times that metal became one with your bones and brain. Shattering on impact with a sickening thud that left you feeling sick before it all went black.

That would make sense, after all, wouldn’t it? That man having been the one to end it all for you time and time again, so you never end up making it past that first scenario. (Much like a certain someone.)

The first challenge that faced everyone in this dome.

The one that made everyone in it a murderer.

Self-serving.

Self-centered.

Self-regarding.

That's what you all were.

Even him, having dared to make a request of you.

Even as Dokja rested in your lap, black hair tickling your thighs that had you wondering if shorts really were a good idea for sleepwear even if it was the dead of summer and it's annoyingly high temps that left you sweating even when a sword wasn't grasped in hand. Calluses you never thought you'd have carding through the sleeping man's tresses. Absent-minded as you kept your blurred gaze on him.

It was decided the lot of you would hole up here for the night even with the cracks in the foundation that had you second-guessing the structural integrity, but you had been assured it's fine. Like an office worker had any right to assure you of that, but you still shut your mouth at that and nodded along.

“Sure, Ugly,” on your lips. A teasing smile meeting his grimace at the moniker Dokja never failed to show his hatred for.

Good for him. He can be pissy all he wants. If anything, it just makes you tempted to take your phone out and snatch a picture. That is, if it wasn't shattered to a thousand pieces by now and tossed into the waters below. Fish food now, much like Dokja was after Yoo Joonghyuk dropped him off the bridge.

He doesn't appreciate that joke either.

You had insisted on being the one to stay up, to keep watch even as he fought you the entire way as you and the kids wrangled him into laying down. Gilyoung had kicked your shin for pointing out Dokja's eye bags as he finally laid down. White coat folded up in a bundle, far from neatly at that, and tucked under his head in place of a pillow.

This time, you chose to hold your tongue from joking about his mother never teaching him how to do laundry.

So you sat and waited, brushing off the dirt from the assault the evil little creature (or as you liked to call the kid as you pinched his cheeks) left on you. Footprint easily blending in with all the other layers of dirt you have accrued over the past few days without a proper bath. Wet wipes only proved to be a decent substitution for so long. The sun slowly dipped behind concrete towers until being swallowed away by the waters to come back tomorrow, the moon rising in its stead.

Glowing brighter than you could ever recall it doing before this world turned to shit. The lack of street lamps probably helped. Even if the stars were out, almost so close you could reach out and touch them. Card your fingers through the Milky Way like it was a pot of glitter from an arts and crafts project.

“I know you're still awake.” You finally said after you were one hundred percent certain the kids were passed out. Blankets no longer stirred from trying to get comfortable on the hard floor, and Yoosung's mutterings flowed into her habit of talking into her sleep.

Oftentimes, she would cry for someone to come hold her; even in the dead of night.

“I'm sore from that fight earlier today. And it's taking longer to get used to the concrete than I thought it would.”

“Liar. You just need to make sure for yourself that we'll all be okay.”

You waved off the messages appearing beside you at his reply. Notifications came so often that you had learned to tune them out.

“I'll take over from here. You should get some rest yourself.”

It was surprising he didn't punctuate the sentence with your sponsor's title, or worse, your name. He had a habit of doing that at the worst of times, making himself all cozy by disregarding your last name entirely and simply calling you by ... .Well, by the word that makes you turn your head on instinct the second it's called out.

By now, it was far too fuzzy in your brain to remember that first time you truly met him to recall if you gave it to him or he simply knew it.

Were you, too, a character in his eyes?

The thought had struck you many times, what Dokja saw when he looked at you. Especially now as he turned over in his spot, head propped up on his hand to look at you. Scrutinizing. Like he was reading a blue box perched right under your profile that read out:

Your name.

Your age.

Supporting constellation: Arrow-shooting cherub.

And all that other drabble that came with it.

Or were you a selfish person that he chooses to see as an ally despite having no place in his heart before the world fell?

Honestly, you had no clue which was better. At least with the latter he wouldn't know the times you cried late at night in your room, of the times you blearily made it through the day only to let the worlds between pages be your comfort as soon as the front door locked behind you, of how you would see a character so broken, so damaged and-

“No.” You huffed.

Both to his words and your own mind's ramblings. If you could bury that away the same way the Ugly King was atop that hill as wails filled your ears, you would.

“You're human like the rest of us, whether you like it or not. Got that, bubba?”

Such a different way of calling him ahjussi. Definitely a lot less respectful, but something tells you he doesn't mind as much as some other stubborn men in this world would.

“Here I thought I was a Supernatural character. That's what you like to call me with the others, right?”

At least not enough to roll his eyes at, anyway.

“I think the name suits you well. You're just missing some plaid. We can get you a shirt…or a kilt?”

“Not happening.”

A huff of a laugh escaped him, somewhere between breath of air pushing out of his lungs and the chuckles you can get from him after telling a particularly bad pun.

You two stayed like that for a minute, Dokja laying down with his eyes on you. Somehow, even with the intrusive feeling of him staring through you rather than at you, it was comforting.

Dark eyes shone in the light of the fire keeping the four of you warm. Crackling firewood as it tumbled into a new shape, a new little tent of sticks a better background noise to listen to than the mutterings as they finally slowed down for the time being.

“They care about you.”

To the point Yoosung and Gilyoung were nearly attached to him at the hip. If someone had told you those two were stuck to him on those backpacks with leashes parents used before the fall, you wouldn't have even batted an eye. Maybe even believed it for a moment there.

“Which is why you need to get some rest. The first step in letting someone care about you is letting them force you to sleep, to eat, to sit back and let them…”

Hug you.

“Help you.”

‘Don't think about yourself here’ is a great reminder as to why you pressed your lips together in a thin, impossibly straight line. Refusing to say the words lurking in your mind.

“You mean to tell me I'm not supposed to do everything myself?”

The sarcasm in his voice made you want to snatch that makeshift pillow out from under him. So, of course, that's what you do. A call of your name filling the air as he tried to wrangle it back. Something about how it's too cool to end up ruined and how he went through a lot of effort to get that.

“Last I checked, you wanted it in black!”

He was still tugging it from your hands when you heard a murmured call of Dokja's name over the ruckus you were both causing when you froze. He did, too, looking back at the kids for a moment before sighing in relief.

Just Yoosung. As normal.

“I can't rest if I don't have something to sleep on,” he whispered to you. Tone harsh, but never filled with as much contempt as when speaking to a certain regressor. That, and every other emotion he held for the man.

“But I'm cold.” You dared to say, like it wasn't sweltering hot only hours before.

Well, some did say that the summer nights are the ones that make you truly feel like you're freezing.

“Are you?”

Before you could even nod he had pulled the jacket from your hands, with enough force you couldn't help but wonder if his petty ass stacked a few coins up and pushed them into the starstreams vaults, or however that worked, to up his strength stat. Not even your grippy little fingers helped at all. Your attempts to hold onto it a forgotten cause.

Or not.

Not as he wrapped it around your shoulders with a boyish grin. Something so nice to see, his ability to smile, even if it is only to comfort you.

It would be so easy to let your head fall to the clouds and pretend he's not forcing it. But after what happened recently, another scenario passed you by like a bullet train that whooshed up your scarf and had it flying up and away to follow it even as you desperately reached out to grasp onto it with all you had, you knew that simply wasn't the case.

“It smells like male B.O.”

“Well, I do happen to be a man.” Before you could even protest, Dokja said: “despite what you may say.”

“You got laundry soap in that fancy Dokkaebi Shop of yours?”

“Actually, I might.”

You could see his hand twitching to pull up the menu to check, something you're not even sure of if Dokja is allowed to do in front of you despite the many times he has. Little to no shame about it now that he had become a constellation.

“Later. Or I'll make fun of the fact that your eyebags are so big you can carry all my trauma in there.”

“You literally just did.”

Your hand was on his face before you could even think about it, thumb brushing along the bluish skin as it became more and more tinted the longer this world stayed like this. He would stay up most nights insisting to keep watch even if he was the one to suggest everyone stopped to rest, biting at his thumb as endless possibilities swirled in that stubborn mind of his.

Does he not know it's rude to make others see him wearing himself down like that every day?

“Don't know what you're talking about, bubba.”

And this position is extremely awkward now that you think about it. Hand snapping back to your side to grab at that stupid coat to pull it tighter around you despite not truly needing its warmth. However, it did smell nice. Like him. Despite, well, the gross layer to it.

“Right…”

“You could use some eye cream. Too bad your ugly self never heard of makeup before the dome came up. Otherwise, you might have actually had a social life.”

Beyond just pretending the one he admired with all his heart was real in those moments of weakness when the feeling of being alone truly etched itself into his heart. Was a solid human being who could pat him on the shoulder as they did that awkward man hug.

“Why are you like this?” Dokja asked in the flattest tone he could manage.

“You see, it all started when my parents had sex-”

Dokja shook his head at that. His stupid bowl cut waving back and forth in just the right way that had it slightly tousled up when he stopped.

And we all had problems in this world that made us what we are now.

That's what you didn't say.

“Rest. Please.” Not a request, not a demand, but a plea. One that had your voice cracking in protest at opening up that tiniest bit without the doors to your heart being pried open with a crowbar. Of course, they'd have to get through the chains and boards nailed to the frame first.

Selfishly, you wanted him to be the one to pull those nails from the rotting wood.

In a way, he already has. (The same you know he will never fully free you of them).

And you wanted to be the one to hold the lock over his own, to cradle it, and open it not with a pick or some other cheap tool meant to get to the treasure within so easily, but with a key he willingly gives you.

To know what it's like for him, for once, to be honest with you. Even if that means to stop lying to himself in the process.

“Or I'll get a marker and really draw attention to those bags of yours. Maybe I'll even start calling you an old man and insisting they're a sign of aging. Those stories catching up with you, oldy?

“I never thought I would have missed being called ‘Ugly King.’” He groaned.

But for now, all you can do is watch it dangle before you as it shines in the light of another's hands. Dangling from a black cord. Yoo Joonghyuk. How Dokja looks at the regressor the same way you did him.

“Then I'll be nice for once and keep that nickname to myself if you lay down, shut your eyes, and fall the fuck to sleep.” Before he could ask with what pillow, because, yes, you were already expecting that question, you pat your lap. Far too used to his sarcasm to not see it coming a mile away. “Sleep.”

There was no fight, no bite back as Dokja just sighed and let himself fall down even as he was clearly embarrassed over this. Refusing to look at you like that would do anything to stop the tiniest flush you could see in his skin if you simply stopped to look. Just like you always have. But still, no fight was a good thing. Hopefully, that meant he was too exhausted to even bother because then he would have no choice but to slip away into dream land as your fingers slid through his hair. Easing him into the wakeless world.

“I'll keep watch. I promise.”

You soaked in his time, in him, as you watched those eyes drift shut.

“Last time I heard you singing Gilyoung a song.” The words were particularly muffled by your thigh, the skin growing goosebumps as you felt his breath fanning over you. Somehow, you're too hot and too cold all at the same time as you replied back with a confirmation.

“Are you asking me to sing for you, too? Does little Dokja need a lullaby?”

“Nevermind.”

“Hey, hey, no.” Your hand stopped in his hair for a moment, the dirt under your nails from earlier today so easily spotted as your eyes flicked between him and the calloused hand that has dared to take lives, but still treat him so softly. “I just don't really remember all the words. I can't look them up without wifi and all that so…”

“What do you remember?” He dared to ask.

So, for him, you answered: “enough.”

Enough for you to hum to the parts you're missing and sing the rest as that moon that had risen up into the sky slowly started to drop again. It's much like a video game where you're messing with the time settings just to continue on your quest. Your next adventure. Your next task.

But selfishly, you wanted this moment to last forever as you sang about a little baby moon shining in the sky with his funny little toes in the air.

“And he's all alone in that big blue sky.”

The lyrics had you aching to stop and to bite at your lip as Dokja drifted off to sleep, but still you continued on, because for him, It didn't matter if your throat burned or you legs went numb. Not even when you'd surely have trouble walking the next day as they struggled to pump blood back through them properly, not if it meant he got a moment of reprieve from what you knew was going to happen next.

Is this what it felt like for him watching Yoo Joonghyuk during their encounters? Each passing day went by like a sweet song that you wished to play in your head again and again until you remembered every lyric, every pitch, every note, until the ability to play it through memory alone graced you.

The same way you did the pages of his book. Quote after quote of his assurances to others that he never dared give himself still so fresh even after reading through them for the nth time.

How you wanted to be the one to tell Dokja he'd be able to get through it all.

If he only allowed it.

Only allowed you in to give him more than a moment of reprieve to sleep. To hold him, to listen to him, to comfort him. To cradle Dokja the same way you did your phone after reading translations of the novel in the dead of the night.

It's complicated to hold someone this dear, to look at them and only wish for them to have the best yet know they have been robbed of that. Know they will be robbed of even more.

But this is the choice he wanted.

And who are you to disrespect that?

Even as it has tears falling from your cheeks as you sang that stupid song again, words coming out broken between sobs you hoped wouldn't wake the children and the man you loved in a way that went beyond mere friendship, beyond mere passion for another, beyond mere familial ties.

No, it went beyond that.

That's why you couldn't be selfish, not with him, not even after all those fix it fics you relished in because at least then you'd see him happy. See that boyish grin full of pure joy and nothing else.

So you would stand on the side lines, let him view you as another character to save if he must, and hold your sword tight as it's raised to protect him.

Because, and the words came out like a croak as you whispered them to yourself, a confession between only you and the constellations above. “I love you.”

‘In lieu of loving myself.’

The fate of a reader's reader. Your precious main character.

For your selfishness, for your own broken and guarded heart, for him, this can only be said knowing he can't hear your deepest secret. No, Dokja had other things he needed to do, better, more important things than to worry about you. So you would give it all to him, no matter if it meant shattering yourself too.

#kim dokja #dokja kim #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #orv x reader #kim dokja x reader #kdj #orv kdj #kdj x reader #fanfiction event #fanfiction collab #banner by cafekitsune #gn reader

[drill-teeth-art]

Hello! I really love your art and animations! Though, I was wondering what you use to do the animation and still images? I'm getting a better drawing device soon so I was wondering what you use so I could perhaps try to animate like you! (If you don't want me to try to animate in your way that's 100% fine, please just let me know!) Please and thank you for the info! Have a good day/night!+

Oh, sure! So the software I use is Clip Studio Paint EX. There's a cheaper version called Clip Studio Paint Pro, but it has a lot fewer of the animation features so I use EX. And I can pull back the ol' curtain to show you a peek at my process!

So take Pharma here! This is a pretty simple walk loop. How I do a lot of my animations is I make pretty simple 2D puppets and then animate those puppets frame by frame by moving bits and pieces around or redrawing body parts entirely for some frames if necessary.

Pharma's puppet has quite a few layers as you can see here, but this isn't even the most complex one I've built and worked on!

And in the timeline here you can see each frame for the Pharma puppet's walk and then also the frames on the littler details like the lighting and cast shadows most of which are just edits of the original walk frames. If you wanna get into slightly more nitty gritty details, this animation specifically moves at 12 fps instead of the standard 24. I do this to force myself to capture movements in less drawings. It saves time and is challenging. And I like the deliberate choppiness it can add to the motion.

I really like this animation method because (at least for me) it's a lot lot faster than hand drawing every frame. And though I do like to do a good bit of more traditional 2D frame by frame practice as well, this method is faster and also easier to clean up so I use it a lot for animations I want practice animating with and that I also want to look polished for posting. Because animating by yourself is...a lengthy process. And I don't mind others using this method! Have at it!

#ask #otto thoughts

[hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf]

Pose

artist!hyunjin x model!minho

Trigger warnings: n/a

Content warnings: dirty talk, hand job, anal, mild exhibitionism, a touch of overstimulation, excessive use of the name 'baby'

Summary: hyunjin can't keep his hands to himself when his model gets worked up

Word count: 5.2k

A/N: hiiii all ❤ i'll keep this short lmao. i'm slowly but surely working my way through my requests! things feel a bit easier these days so i feel like i can actually get things completed for you all. i hope you all like it!

Tags: @bahng-chrizz

Smut below the cut

Minho bit his lip pensively as he approached the studio door. Was he really about to do this? He knocked before he could talk himself out of it. Damned nerves always got to him.

The door swung open to reveal a tall, slender man with sharp features and luxurious dark hair. He was so pretty he sent all the air rushing out of Minho's lungs. “Minho, hi! It’s so good to finally meet you. Come on in. We’re just setting up.” Pouty lips tugged into a bright smile and Minho's knees turned to jelly for a moment as his heart thumped wildly in his chest.

He stepped inside with a small smile of his own and took in the setup as the beautiful man continued. “My assistant - well, you know Felix - already has everything together for hair and makeup. Once you finish up there, come back in here and we can start.” Minho nodded and took a steadying breath as the taller man led him to a room with a vanity, the desk covered in hair and makeup products, some of which he was familiar with, while others were entirely foreign.

Minho had been modeling for local artists for a couple years now but it never got easier. He always felt a rush of nerves every time he prepared to step in front of a camera or sit for a painting. It certainly didn’t help that Hyunjin was the most gorgeous man he’d ever laid eyes on and he was about to get extremely familiar with the older man.

“Oh, your complexion is just perfect - as always.” Felix said. “Come, let’s get you camera-ready.” He flashed an eager smile and Minho felt instantly at ease. Felix was someone he’d met several times and was rather comfortable with. They ran in the same circles and when the younger man had learned of Minho’s side job, he instantly brought up Hyunjin’s desperation for a model for an upcoming project. He’d connected the two men and today was the first time they were meeting in person.

“Are you okay? You seem kinda anxious.” Felix grabbed the rounded flat iron.

“Yeah I'm fine.” Minho hummed, trying to seem nonchalant. “I always get nervous before these things.”

“Why? You’re gorgeous. You were made for this.” Felix smiled warmly as he began to curl a strand of Minho's hair. The older man rolled his eyes even as a flattered smile spread across his face.

“I know I’m hot, Lix. It’s the expectations that get me worked up.” And this photographer’s face… “I’ll be fine once we get started and I know what he’s going for.”

“I told you: he’s looking for someone to let him paint them for a new exhibit piece. It’s simple.” Felix reminded him as he curled another strand.

“Yes,” he rolled his eyes once more, his smile growing wider at the playful exasperation he felt. Felix always got that reaction out of him. “But once I know the vibe of the shoot, it’ll go smoothly.”

“Well…” Felix bit his lip as he ran his fingers through the curls he’d already finished. Halfway there. “I guess I should warn you…he’s the sensual type. He’s walking sex and it shows in his work.”

“I have eyes, Lix. I can tell that much.” Minho snorted. After a beat, during which he looked around the room to ensure they weren’t being watched from the hall, he spoke again. “He’s hot. I wouldn’t mind things getting…heated.”

“He is. And he’s a-” Felix cut himself short, pink dusting his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t say that.”

“Well now you have to tell me.” Minho grinned, taking note of how flustered the younger man appeared. “Have you two fucked?” The reddening of Felix's cheeks was his answer and his smirk grew even as something twisted in his chest. “Was he good?”

After a few moments of silence, Felix finally answered. “He’s a fucking beast in bed.” He admitted, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “You should absolutely find out for yourself.”

“Maybe I will.” Minho hummed, his voice light and airy despite the heat that settled low in his belly.

The rest of Felix’s prep work went quickly, the two of them gossiping about much lighter topics as the younger man worked to enhance Minho’s natural beauty. It didn’t take much.

Within minutes, Minho was seating himself in front of Hyunjin, who already had several small cans of paint open. “And you’re sure you’re not allergic to anything?” He asked cautiously. He’d hate himself forever if he sent anyone to the hospital for the sake of his art, especially someone so perfect.

“Positive.” Minho hummed, shivering as the slight chill in the room caressed his bare chest. His jeans were slung low on his hips and he was shirtless, though he was certain he’d need to remove more clothing before they got started. “So I’m all yours to do with as you please.”

“Don’t tell me that. I might just have too much fun.” Hyunjin winked as he grabbed the first can of paint. “Is there any way I can get you to fully undress? This is going to get messy. Plus,” his grin was seductive and made Minho’s knees weak. “Nude art is always more fun.”

Minho paused and looked at Felix, who gave an eager nod and a thumbs up. “It’ll still be tasteful and not full on porn, right?” He asked, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice again. His chat with Felix had relaxed him a lot but the prospect of being entirely nude and having the image of his whole body captured for eternity made that calm dissipate. He wasn’t fond of the idea of having his dick on display for the whole world. Personal videos and photos? Sure. But something that would be heavily publicized? That was a step too far.

“Oh god no- I would never ask anyone to pose in entirely provocative ways. This is purely for the art. The most important parts will be covered, I promise.” Hyunjin rushed to assure him with a nervous smile of his own. He kept those photos and videos on a separate camera. This was purely for the aesthetic. Minho was built like a god and his physique deserved to be displayed.

With the reassurance that this was entirely professional, Minho stood from the stool he’d been perched on and reached for the button of his jeans. He ignored the weight of both men’s gazes on him as he shucked both his pants and his briefs. Thank god I took the time to shave last night…

Felix found himself staring and chewing on his lip at the sight of Minho’s impressive body but ignored the racy thoughts he was having. Instead, he took the clothes Minho had just removed and placed them aside, allowing Hyunjin to get started. Hyunjin, on the other hand, didn’t hide his admiration and made a small noise of appreciation as he dipped the brush into the paint.

“This is gonna be a little cold.” He warned before gliding the brush over Minho’s collarbone. The eldest sucked in a gasp at how chilly the paint was but forced himself to hold still. “I’m gonna come back and use my hands once I get the lines down, if that’s okay?”

“That’s fine.” Minho nodded, glancing down as Hyunjin dragged the brush in a straight line down the right side of his chest. “It’ll be warmer then.” He chuckled as he watched the lines of blue, then red, then pink and purple and green appear on his torso, followed by curved lines on his arms and legs. The feather-light touches were driving him up the wall but he did his best to remain composed.

That composure was lost when Hyunjin’s slender hands met his skin, smearing paint down his abs and muddying the pristine lines that had been left only moments prior. His breath hitched at the gentle touch, the slide of the younger man’s hands on his body lighting a fire beneath his skin. His face heated as his blood rushed south, causing Hyunjin’s hands to still. “Sorry…” He mumbled, embarrassed by the way his body reacted to something so small.

“It’s a natural reaction.” Hyunjin murmured, entirely distracted by just how perfect Minho’s body was. Every last inch of him was a gift from the heavens and he felt lucky to be feeling him up. “I’ll be quick.” He assured him, trying and failing to tear his eyes away from Minho’s stiffening cock, which strained with interest each time Hyunjin’s palms glided over a particularly sensitive area.

Felix watched with interest but his excitement at the scene was tamped out almost instantly with guilt. He shouldn’t have been fantasizing about what could happen between two of his best friends. It was his morbid sense of curiosity.

In an uncharacteristic burst of confidence, Minho scoffed and shook his head. “You’re learning all my tells before I get the chance to discover any of yours. How unfair.”

Hyunjin’s hands paused, his eyes locked on Minho’s messy chest as the air between them crackled with electricity. “Felix is watching.” His simple reminder brought Minho back to earth but didn’t ease the tension between them as his fingertips skimmed over the older man’s inner thighs. He took pride in the way Minho’s cock jumped, his own pants growing tight at the sight.

He didn’t bother to hide his excitement as he stood and backed away. “I think that’s about it. Let me add just a little more to your back and we’re good to go.”

“Can I see before we start?” Minho asked curiously. Was it a surprise?

“Of course.” Hyunjin smiled widely at the interest Minho was showing. “There’s a mirror just around the corner.” He gestured to a wall Minho had yet to pass by and the older man nodded, waiting patiently as warm hands danced across his back. One finger slid down his spine and he shuddered. Then Hyunjin was backing away, messy hands held up so as not to spread paint on his clothes. “Let me know what you think.”

Minho padded to the mirror, not bothering to hide his erection since they were all very aware of it by now. When he turned and looked over his shoulder, he let out a soft laugh. “I think you missed a spot.” He pointed out, taking in the lack of paint on his bare ass. There were a few strokes that dipped to the tops of his cheeks but other than that his ass was entirely devoid of color.

Hyunjin stepped around the corner and laughed immediately. “Looks like it.” He snorted and stepped closer, lifting his hands for emphasis. “May I?”

As soon as Minho nodded, Hyunjin’s large hands splayed across his ass, dragging the paint around in a sweeping motion as he fought the urge to knead his flesh. He admired his work as he stepped back, speaking again to break the tension he felt. “Turn for me.” He ordered in a gentle tone, checking to see if he’d missed anywhere else. “See anything else?”

“Maybe…here?” Minho gently grabbed Hyunjin’s wrist and guided his hand to his jaw. “And then drag down my throat?” The aesthetic of fingerprints on his jaw made his brain buzz in the most delightful way and he knew it’d look hot on camera.

“Perfect.” Hyunjin whispered as his grip tightened briefly before his fingers slid to wrap around Minho’s throat. Fuck I want to keep touching him, especially when his cock twitches like that…

“Then…are we ready?” Minho’s voice came out breathless and he suddenly hated how worked up he was. Sure it was a natural reaction like Hyunjin said, but it was bordering on humiliating being the only one naked and this turned on.

“We are. I’ll let Felix get you situated while I wash up.” He held his hands up once more and wiggled his fingers, wrinkling his nose adorably at the mess.

Felix, upon hearing his name, stepped around the corner with a curious expression. At the smiles he received, he led Hyunjin to the white canvas backdrop. “We’ll have you turn slightly to your left and sit down with your knees drawn up.” He instructed and Minho sat as he was told. “Perfect. When he comes back, I’ll get you to stretch your arms out in front of you and rest them on your knees.” Minho nodded and waited, biting back a grin at Felix's knowing expression. “Until then…isn’t his touch just…” His eyes rolled back and he let out a soft groan. “Perfect?”

“It’s actually embarrassing how hard I am.” Minho huffed out a laugh and looked away as his cheeks went a soft pink. “Is he always like that?”

“Pretty much.” The youngest shrugged, laughing at Minho’s pleasantly surprised expression. “Like I said: he’s a very sensual person and the tension is insane.” A mischievous grin took over his face and he wiggled his eyebrows. “Maybe you’ll get a chance to find out just how sensual he can be.”

“Not as long as you’re here.” Minho laughed awkwardly. “There’s only so much I’ll do for an audience.”

“Aww you’re no fun.” Felix’s fake pout earned an eye roll and he burst into laughter, instantly settling down when Hyunjin rejoined them.

“I’m gonna do a few test shots and then we’ll get into it. Can you drape your arms like he showed you? And lay your head down, eyes on me.” Hyunjin hummed, snapping a few shots and taking a deep breath at how perfect even the tests came out.

Luckily for Minho, he started to calm down and no longer felt like he was seconds away from falling apart. Halfway through the shoot, Felix got a call and stepped out. With shutter clicks the only sound filling the air between them, Hyunjin spoke after a few awkward minutes. “How long have you been modeling?”

“About two years now.” Minho hummed, shifting his pose at the younger man’s instruction.

“And how often do you do nude work?” Something in him twisted with a touch of jealousy at the idea of anyone else seeing Minho’s perfect body.

“This would be the first time being fully nude in front of a camera.” He explained with a hint of shyness in his voice. “I’ve posed in underwear before but never fully naked.” Hyunjin gave a pleased hum but kept his expression neutral. “How about you? How long have you been a photographer?”

“Oh it’s been years since I started. I only recently started gallery work though. I was doing events until about a year ago.” His eyes sparkled as he spoke and Minho’s heart thumped in his chest. He loved when people talked about their passions. He loved seeing the way their eyes lit up.

“What was that like?” He watched as Hyunjin pulled the stool over and perched on the edge when he was told to.

“It was fun! It was a lot of fun.” God his smile…

“What made you shift your focus to gallery work then?” Now he was curious. Hyunjin glowed when talking about events so why would he stop doing them?

“I just felt like it was time for a change. It was fun but it came with a lot of stress and I needed a break from that.” He explained softly, smiling again as he stepped behind the camera. “But I’ve met so many wonderful people through this avenue as well. Beautiful people too.” The way his eyes raked over Minho’s bare form as he pressed his tongue into his cheek was entirely deliberate.

The older man flushed even as he tipped his head back under Hyunjin’s instruction. The gaze was so intense it felt like a caress against his skin and he felt himself getting worked up again. He moved so his arm covered his lap and Hyunjin took notice, smirking when he realized his compliment and subsequent ogling had the desired effect.

“I think I’ve got everything I need for now.” He hummed after several minutes of comfortable silence, striding over to where his personal camera was packed away in a bag. Minho felt a bubble of disappointment in his chest at the sudden change in Hyunjin’s demeanor.

“Would you like a more…personal session now?” He turned, lifting his camera from the bag. “For our eyes only.”

Minho’s breath caught in his throat at the way Hyunjin looked at him and he nodded before he even knew what he was agreeing to. Why did he suddenly feel like he’d made a deal with the devil?

“Perfect.” Hyunjin didn’t know if he was referring to Minho’s agreement or the man himself as he made his way back to the tripod. “Then…” he busied himself with changing out his equipment before speaking again. “Turn to your right.” He ordered, his pants tightening once more as Minho’s dick came into view. He bit his lip to hide his smile when the older man tried to cover himself. “Don’t hide. These photos are for you and no one else.”

Minho nodded slowly and forced himself to relax, trusting that Hyunjin wouldn’t lie about this. This was a bit out of his comfort zone but he was willing to try anything once.

“Touch yourself for me, Min.” Hyunjin’s voice came out rough this time as his own cock strained with interest at the mere thought of Minho pleasing himself.

Minho wrapped a shaky hand around his shaft and his lip caught between his teeth at the first tug. His heart hammered in his chest at the pleased noise he heard from behind the camera and he gave another pass, swiping his thumb over the head with a small gasp. He’d been with plenty of people but he’d never been so affected by simply being watched.

He didn’t notice Hyunjin disrobing as he set a steady pace until a warm chest met his back. “Fucking perfect, baby. I can’t help myself, I need to feel you.” Minho took whatever Hyunjin was trying to press into his palm, shivering when his other hand was pushed away from his dick for Hyunjin’s hand to take its place instead. “Press this button,” he guided Minho's thumb to the correct button on the remote. “When you wanna capture something. I’m gonna take care of you.”

Minho didn’t even get a chance to nod before Hyunjin started stroking his cock, his opposite hand roaming his chest and abs. Fire lit under his skin at the contact and his head tipped back to rest on the taller man’s shoulder, his free hand tangling in Hyunjin’s long, dark hair. “Hyunjin-” he gasped his name when his thumb dug into the slit, his hips jerking.

“Jinnie.” He corrected. He liked hearing the nickname in bed. It sounded pretty when people whimpered for him. “Just Jinnie.” His voice was smooth, like liquid butter, and it made Minho’s pulse ratchet up as he nodded.

His jaw dropped when Hyunjin squeezed on the upstroke and he snapped a photo as a tiny whimper slipped from his mouth. “Jinnie-” he whined softly, squirming against the younger man’s chest when his nipple was lightly pinched.

Minho had never been too particular about whether he topped or bottomed so the way his body was being manipulated wasn’t foreign, it was delightful. In fact, it was already shaping up to be the best he’d ever had and they’d only just started. This was solidified when Hyunjin spoke.

“You sound so pretty, Min. Like you were made to moan my name. You sure you didn’t come here just to fuck me?” Hyunjin’s groan made his dick twitch and he whined again, partially from embarrassment at his obvious reaction. “You respond so well, baby. So pretty and perfect. Can’t wait for you to take my cock.”

“Jinnie…” Minho whimpered his name, jaw dropping once more when he felt lips close around his earlobe. “Oh-”

“You sensitive there, baby?” The older man nodded shyly and Hyunjin chuckled against his skin. “How cute.” He cooed as he sped up, his grip tightening just enough for Minho to see stars.

They stayed like that, Hyunjin stroking Minho’s cock and feeling him up with his other hand while Minho snapped photos every time Hyunjin pulled a particularly strong reaction out of him, until the coil in Minho's belly tightened. “Jinnie ‘m close-” he warned, his voice breaking off in a moan as his hips jerked.

“Yeah? Gonna make a mess of the art I made earlier?” Minho nodded furiously, a soft whine tearing from his throat. The goading and cooing always got to him and Hyunjin was a master at it. “Then do it. Cum for me, baby.” He coached, swiping his thumb over the head on every upstroke until he felt the beginnings of Minho’s orgasm.

Minho repeatedly hit the button, snapping a series of photos as he came undone. Molten pleasure filled his veins and he let out a loud cry of Hyunjin’s name as he shuddered with delight. His voice was pathetic and didn’t remotely sound like him as he bit back a series of soft moans and whines, watching helplessly while Hyunjin milked every last drop of cum from him.

Minho forced himself to release his hold on Hyunjin’s hair and instead reached behind him to palm at the bulge pressing against his lower back. He pouted when his hand was pushed away, the need to feel more of the younger man becoming overwhelming. “Why?”

“Lay down.” Hyunjin ordered softly, releasing him and stepping back to give him room to comply. As Minho scrambled to lay on the floor, Hyunjin hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and shoved them down his thighs. “Gonna fuck this pretty hole and make you scream for me. You want that?”

“So bad.” He nodded, eagerly accepting the two fingers Hyunjin pressed to his lips as he slotted himself between Minho's legs.

The younger man leaned down so his lips were right by Minho’s ear and opened his mouth to speak when a hand wrapped around his cock, pulling a low groan from him. “Shit, baby…” He pressed a tiny kiss to Minho's cheek in return before continuing, rocking his hips in time with the older man’s strokes. “You’re so eager. And fucking gorgeous. My fingerprints all over your body…I wish I could tattoo them on you so you’d never forget my touch.”

Oh, I won’t…

Minho let out a tiny moan in response, suppressing a gag when Hyunjin’s fingers pressed to the back of his throat. His grip tightened and his strokes sped up as he tried to finish Hyunjin before he got a chance to touch him. He wanted things to be entirely even. It was only fair.

All too soon, Hyunjin was pulling back and gently pushing Minho’s hand away.

“As much as I’m enjoying this, I need more.” The taller man hummed, pulling his fingers from Minho's mouth.

“Please-” He whined when he felt Hyunjin press a finger to his entrance. “I need you.” He fought the urge to pout when he wasn’t immediately stuffed full.

“Yeah? How bad?” The smirk on Hyunjin’s face made Minho’s stomach fill with butterflies.

Is he going to make me beg? Oh, who cares. He’s fucking beautiful. Minho needed him. Needed more. He’d do anything to have him inside. “So bad, Jinnie. Feel like I'll die if I don’t have you inside me soon.” He was barely done speaking when a long finger pressed inside.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight. Gonna take me so well…” Hyunjin’s groan reignited the flames beneath Minho’s skin but he barely had a chance to comprehend his words before soft, pouty lips met his own. He reached between them once more, set on pleasing Hyunjin while he was being stretched, but his wrist was caught and pinned above his head.

His dick twitched at the sensation of being restrained and he let out a small sound, grinding down against Hyunjin’s fingers as another was added. The taller man’s tongue plundered his mouth the second he parted his lips and Minho made another sound as he sucked on Hyunjin’s tongue, earning a low growl in return.

Minho was quick to press the button again, capturing the moment in high definition. Hyunjin heard the click of the shutter and pulled back with a groan. “You’re killing me…” His lips tugged into a smirk. “Think you’re ready? I need to feel you.”

“So fucking ready, Jinnie.” Minho nodded eagerly, disappointment bubbling in his chest when Hyunjin pulled his hand away after scissoring his fingers one last time. He tamped it down when he felt the blunt head of the younger man’s cock pressing against his entrance.

“Last chance. You sure?”

“Just fuck me already, Hyunjin.” He demanded, the last syllable pitching upward in an embarrassing moan as he was filled in one swift move. It almost hurt how quickly Hyunjin pushed into him but that made him love it even more.

“Fucking hell- you’re so tight.” The taller man bit his pillowy bottom lip, his face dropping to Minho’s neck. He inhaled deeply, head spinning at his spicy vanilla scent. This must be what Heaven smells like… He held still, waiting for Minho to relax against him. The second he did, he’d rail him.

The sheer size of him almost made it difficult for Minho to adjust but after a few minutes, he tentatively rocked his hips, earning a hiss from the other man. As he turned his head in the hopes of kissing Hyunjin’s ear, a sharp thrust knocked a loud moan from him. “Jinnie-”

Hyunjin set an unforgiving pace, his hips snapping furiously. Each thrust drew out another sound from the gorgeous man beneath him and he was certain he’d become addicted to Minho’s noises if they continued like this. He pulled back to look down at him and bit his lip hard at the visual of his fingerprints on Minho’s jaw. His hands itched to wrap around the older man’s throat but he refrained.

“You look so fucking pretty, baby…” He praised, watching as Minho’s jaw went slack and his head tipped back. He couldn’t help but pinch a paint-covered nipple, his dick throbbing at the whimper his actions elicited. “Sound pretty too.”

Minho’s cheeks flamed at the compliments and he had to fight the urge to hide his face in Hyunjin’s neck. Instead, he snapped another photo. The sound of the camera was the last straw for Hyunjin and he let out a soft growl as he tangled a fist in Minho's hair. “You’re driving me fucking crazy, Min.”

Instantly, Minho was scrambling to tug Hyunjin’s free hand towards his throat. “Please.” He whispered before sucking in a gasp as Hyunjin hit his most sensitive point. “Please-” He begged louder this time, frantically trying to wrap Hyunjin’s fingers around his throat.

“Filthy boy…” A dark smile took over Hyunjin’s face as he closed his hand around Minho’s throat, hips working faster, if that was possible. As soon as the younger man’s grip tightened, Minho shuddered in delight and snapped another photo.

“Kiss me.” He whispered, whimpering loudly a moment later at the rough thrust that hit his prostate deliciously. Hyunjin obliged with no hesitation, squeezing Minho’s throat harder and making his head spin at the lack of blood circulation. It was perfect.

Hyunjin’s teeth grazed Minho’s lip before he bit down and tugged back, groaning when the older man clenched around him. He was getting close and that almost did him in. He pulled back briefly to warn Minho. “Careful, baby. You don’t want to finish me just yet.”

Oh but he did. Minho was teetering right on the edge already and he wanted to be filled to the brim with cum. He needed it. “Jinnie ‘m close-” he warned breathlessly.

“Already? How cute.” Minho whined at his mocking tone, groaning when they locked lips again. He wouldn’t ask permission to cum but he’d still wanted some sort of acknowledgement beyond taunting.

Minho felt the knot in the pit of his belly begin to unravel and laid on the remote, snapping as many photos as he could. His moans pitched upward and his eyes rolled back as he came undone, his back arching off the floor as the full force of his orgasm hit him.

Even as he came down from his high, Hyunjin didn’t give him a break. He pulled out and took their cocks in one hand, stroking them together. The overstimulation was almost painful for the older man as a third orgasm was ripped from his body.

When Minho was a boneless puddle on the floor, Hyunjin finally relented. “One more, baby. Can you do that for me? Can you gimme one more?”

“J- ah- just one-” Minho bit his lip hard as tears built behind his eyes. He could feel another orgasm coming and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. He needed a break from the onslaught of pleasure. But he also wanted to please Hyunjin and that desire had won out, all other needs washed away by the sweat that dropped onto his skin from the younger man’s chin.

“Good boy.” Hyunjin’s voice came out strained as his orgasm approached. He’d been holding back for a while now, wanting to play with Minho a while longer. But when he saw his face going red as tears welled in his eyes, he knew it was time to give him a break. “Where do you want it, baby?”

Minho debated in his head. Did he want to wear it? Or would he prefer to have it all inside? He hesitated a moment too long because the choice was ripped from him a few seconds later. Ropes of hot cum decorated his already-messy stomach and his body trembled with his own orgasm at the sensation.

“Jinnie-” He cried the taller man’s name as he came for the fourth and final time, his whole body burning. Tears finally spilled from his eyes, though it was short-lived as they quickly dried. His thighs trembled and his chest heaved. He let out a disapproving whine when Hyunjin pulled away but quickly silenced himself when he realized he was going for the camera.

“Just a few more shots, hmm?” Hyunjin grinned lazily as he carefully took the camera from its place on the tripod before padding back over to where Minho still lay in a heap on the floor. “I want you to see how pretty you look from my point of view.” He explained as he settled back between Minho’s legs, urging them around his hips.

Minho couldn’t hide his tiny smile as Hyunjin snapped a series of photos, making sure to capture the paint and cum decorating his stomach. He couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed about being fully nude on camera as he basked in the afterglow of his orgasms. It felt…right.

After a few minutes of photos, Hyunjin carefully placed the camera on the stool and collapsed beside Minho. “That was fucking amazing.” The older man nodded in agreement, turning on his side to face Hyunjin, who now had a mischievous grin on his face. “What are the chances you’ll come model for me again soon?”

#kpop smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunho #hyunho smut #stray kids lee know #stray kids lee minho #lee know #lee know smut #lee minho smut #lee minho #alura's works #requested

[vodika-vibes]

okay this follower event is intriguing so I’mma try something👀 okay so. I’m thinkin about an Apocalypse AU with Fox. romance for the genre because you know it gotta be romance with Foxy, & girl you can go WILD with the plot, I give you free reign. unless you don’t want free reign, I can just send another ask. but for now BE FREE🦅

Woe To The People

Summary: According to everything you read as a child, the end of the world was supposed to be the end of the story. It’s a shame that none of the stories tell what happens to the people left behind.

Pairing: Commander Fox x F!Reader

Word Count: 2230

Prompt: Apocalypse AU

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: You said be free, and so I was free. You know how in some farming sims, the end of the world happened, and then people have to recover. That's what this is. I could have gone with apocalypse heavy, but I wanted to do apocalypse light. Please let me know if you don't like it. The title came from a CamiCat song called Woe To The People Of The Order. Also, I'm limited on how long I can sit at the computer right now. I...hurt my foot pretty badly and I can't elevate it properly from the computer, lol.

You were a child when the world ended.

You were barely 9 summers old on the day that the blue sky burned red, and acid fell from the sky. You managed to find shelter in a skyscraper, climbing higher and higher up the building as the acid water flooded the rivers and the streets.

And you refused to leave, even when the other people you were seeking shelter with did.

It took almost a week for the flood waters to recede. A week where you survived off of snacks and soda from the vending machines. A week where you didn’t have anyone to talk to, where all you could do is watch the burning sky through darkened windows and watch the flood waters slowly recede.

There was no internet, no TV, and your only source of information came from a small battery powered radio you found in the janitor’s closet. And it was from there that you learned what was going on.

You learned about the natural disasters that ravaged the world. Massive wildfires that raged for days, floods powerful enough to wash away buildings, sinkholes opening in places where it shouldn’t be possible, earthquakes destroying entire cities, storm systems creating tornadoes in countries that have never had one before.

And when the flood waters receded enough for you to leave the building, you ran home. Though you already knew what you were going to find when you arrived. Your home destroyed, completely flooded out, and your family, like every other family in your neighborhood, lay dead.

Burned almost beyond recognition.

At barely 9 years old, this should have been the end of your story. You were not big enough to fend for yourself, haven’t learned enough about the way the world works to even consider it.

But you’ve always been lucky.

Several days later, after returning to the sky scraper because where else could you go, a survivor found you.

A firefighter, to be specific.

His name was Jango Fett, and he told you about the safe haven that his family set up, where they have food, clean water, and doctors. He praised you for surviving as long as you did on your own, calling you clever and resourceful as he scooped you into his strong arms and carried you down the stairs and to the massive fire engine that somehow survived the floods.

He passed you up to another man, who settled you on top of the engine and offered you a proper sandwich while he covered you with a reflective blanket, and murmured assurances that you’re going to be fine, that everything’s going to be okay.

There were fewer survivors than you expected, as men and women trek out of the nearby buildings in groups of two or three.

And then you heard Jango call out that that’s everyone, and the truck started to move, slowly pushing through the debris covering the roads. Miles, the firefighter looking after you, adjusted the blanket so you couldn’t see the bodies strewn across the road.

Jango brought the survivors to the Mereel Compound, a massive group of buildings set up on top of, and around, a dam. The reservoir was empty, and Miles explained that the reservoir had been emptied before the flood, so you had nothing to worry about.

After that, you were sent to a creche, a place for young children to receive the care and education they needed to be productive members of society. Of course, the education was a bit different than what you were used to. But at the same time, you realized that you probably didn’t need to know what a noun was in this new reality of yours.

So you settled yourself in to learn what you needed to survive in this new world.

It’s been over a decade since the day the world ended, and very little has changed. Oh, sure, there haven’t been any other massive storms since the original ones, but it’s still a struggle to survive.

Enough of a struggle, that you had to move out of the Mereel Compound. You ended up in a building that used to be a mall. And, with help from other young people, you managed to turn it into something like an apartment complex.

Your job in the complex is to ensure that the water wheel, which provides electricity to the homes here, remains in working order.

It’s not a hard job, but it is a very physical job.

In fact, that’s what you’re currently working on. With a thick pair of gloves to protect you from the acid that lingers in the water. The filters do a good job in making sure that most of the acid doesn’t make it this far, but they’re not perfect.

The water needs to go through a seven point treatment before it can be ingested safely. Luckily, over the last decade, the survivors did manage to perfect that technology.

You look up as the door to the water room clicks open, “How’s are the water wheels?” A voice asks from the door. It’s a voice you’re intimately familiar with, seeing as it belongs to your boyfriend.

“In perfect working order,” You reply as you straighten, and stretch your arms over your head to work the knots out of your back, “I’m probably going to have to take water wheel 3 out of commission for a couple of hours to replace a part, but I want to have all of the parts on hand before I start.”

You turn to face Commander Fox properly.

Commander Fox is one of Jango’s many children, and is the man responsible for this complex. He’s a fine leader, you think, quick thinking and decisive. Not to mention protective of the people under his care.

He’s also the love of your life, so you might be biased.

“It’s not like you to check on the water wheels personally,” You note lightly as you pull your gloves off and set them in the solution that keeps the acid from eating through them, “Something wrong?”

“Thorn is ill, so I took his route.”

“That’s unfortunate,” You murmur, “Nothing serious, I hope?”

“Just a stomach bug, but better to isolate him rather than risk everyone else getting sick.” Fox allows, he moves to the side as you step out of the room, before he follows you and waits for you to lock the door behind you, “You haven’t seen anything unusual lately, have you?”

“In what way?”

He folds his arms over his broad chest, “I got a message from Wolffe-”

“From the forest compound?” You ask, after thinking a moment.

“Yeah, apparently there have been raids on the compound, and I’m...concerned.”

“Raids? All of the Compounds from the desert to the mountains belong to the Mereel/Fett clan.”

“Hence my concern.” Fox rolls his shoulders and for a moment you see just how exhausted he is, “Cody’s putting together a group to investigate, but if there are raiders out there-” He exhales sharply through his teeth.

He doesn’t need to put word to his worry.

You’re hardly stupid, your expertise with water and the filtration system makes you valuable. And a target for anyone with malignant motives.

“I’m giving you a guard detail.” Fox says, “And restricting your movements to within the compound.” He drops his hand from the back of his neck, “Your apartment is on a wall, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

He sighs heavily, and you feel guilty for a moment. But then, you didn’t ask for a wall apartment, you were assigned it. “It’s fine, you can crash in my room.”

“That’s hardly proper, Commander.” You tease lightly.

“Your safety is more important to me than propriety.” Fox counters, completely serious, “The alternative is sending you back to the Mereel Compound.”

“Please don’t.”

He chuckles, “That’s what I thought.” He motions for you to follow him, and you easily fall into step next to him, and he glances at you out of the corner of his eye, “Besides, it’s not like you’ve never crashed in my apartment before. Or even in my bed.”

You elbow him, “This situation is a bit different, Fox. There isn’t a small difference between me sleeping with you because your my boyfriend, and me sleeping in your apartment because I need a protective detail.”

He leads you through the bustling halls, and you feel a soft surge of delight when you see that the market is bustling with activity. Only a few years ago, this scene would have been impossible.

How far you’ve all come since the world ended.

Fox’s hand on your elbow encourages you to keep moving, as he guides you through the winding streets, until he unlocks the door to his apartment.

Fox’s apartment is bigger than all of the other apartments in the compound, with good reason, as a whole quarter of the room is filled with the computers that connect him with his brothers, and father. Not to mention the dozens of outposts that dot the country.

He shuts the door on the working half of his apartment and leads you to the living half of his apartment.

And you immediately head to the window, peering out at the red sky and over the wall that separated the compound from the wildlife. You hear some movement behind you and you turn to watch Fox remove his armor.

It’s leather mostly, reminding you of the old westerns your dad used to watch when he was still alive. Still, it offers a fair amount of protection against anyone who might want to hurt him, so you’re happy he has it.

He focuses his gaze on you, and a smile, soft and warm, graces his tired face. “Do you have any idea how stunning you look when you’re framed by the sky?”

Your face heats, and you turn away from him, “You’ve mentioned it once or twice.”

He laughs softly and walks over to you, his arms sliding around your waist, “Then I clearly need to tell you more often.”

You face him again, your hands settling lightly against his chest and smoothing the thin shirt he wears under his uniform, “I know you think it, Foxy.” You tease, “I know you, after all.”

Slowly he leans in and presses his forehead against yours, his gaze locked with your own. “You know, you could just move in with me. That would make everything easier.”

“We’ve had this conversation-”

“And you never think I’m serious, but I am. I want you to move in with me.”

“Ask me again after this crisis.” You counter.

Fox sighs and lifts his hands to cup your face, “We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, angel. Especially with the way the world is. We need to take what happiness we can when we can.”

“And what if you change your mind-” You start.

“Never. I will never change my mind. I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids in the creche and you were that bossy little girl who told me that I was wearing my jacket wrong. I loved you when we were teenagers and you had your heart broken by my brother and I was your shoulder to cry on. I’m not going to stop loving you. Ever.”

You’re quiet for a moment, and then you huff, “I was not a bossy little girl.”

“You were so bossy. It was adorable. It’s why I went along with it.”

You pout at him, and he grins at you, looking young and boyish in his delighted amusement, “Fine. I’ll move in with you, but only because you’re being pathetic about it.”

“I can live with that.” He agrees, before ducking his head just enough to catch your lips with his.

You lean into the kiss, intent to deepening it, to fan the flames of passion, when there’s a loud chime from the other room, and he breaks the kiss with a sigh. He tilts his head to the bed, and murmurs an instruction to get comfortable, before he releases you.

A giggle falls from your lips as you sit on his bed to wait for him. You watch him walk into the next room and you watch, through the open doors, as he reads something on the computer.

And you watch as tension lances through his body.

“Fox? What’s wrong?”

“Cody found the raiders,” Fox replies from his work room, you get to your feet and walk over to him, “Apparently they’re not raiders. They were informed that you, and several other people who are in charge of food, water, and power were being held against your will.”

“Who are they?” You ask, offended that anyone would think something so poorly of the men who saved you.

“They call themselves Jedi. They’re demanding to meet you and the others.” Fox scowls, “Cody doesn’t think we should do it, he says it stinks like a trap. Dad says that we should, but we should meet in a neutral place. He says that survivors need to stick together.”

“And...what do you think?”

“I think I want you to stay safe, but if this is the best option…” He trails off and then turns and pulls you into a kiss.

You sigh into the kiss, melting under his skilled touch.

“I promise,” He breathes against your lips, “No one will ever hurt you.”

#star wars #tcw #vodika-vibes 650 event #star wars au #commander fox x reader #fox x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fic #answered asks

[the-wereraven]

My tablet is... behaving??

#i could be jinxing it #but while my tabket still does that discomnecting thing #i replug it to fix it #and it can work just fine for the entire day??? #what the fuck??? #i mean #i guess I don't have to buy a new one

[novantinuum]

gnawing at the bars of my cage

can we please Stop telling SU blind reactors all the fandom drama and SU crit that came out of every episode so we can allow them to just enjoy the show like a normal person at their own leisure and make their Own opinions thank u

#anyways if i see a SINGLE person comment anywhere from SU s3 to s5 that 'warning the end of s5 is rushed' i will rush right in with #'IN YOUR OPINION' #bc like i know i've beaten this dead horse against the wall a million times but It's Not Rushed Honey it's literally just Fine #it's an Ending #it's Entirely Serviceable #rushed would be if steven pulled a deus ex machina out of his ass at Garnet's wedding and magically healed all corrupted gems by himself #with the power of uwu or whatever #but NO he has to work for his healed corrupted gems #the ones that caused the damage Fix the damage as reparations for the harm they perpetuated #steven learns he is Not His Mom and gains a more stable sense of self #that's all p good and thought out shit to me #i think the ONLY thing that i can remotely point to as potentially 'well damn that was a lot all at once' #was the new fusions one after another. but like come on. why you gonna be mad about that. just enjoy it and have fun brenda #they thought they literally had No More Story and wanted to leave the fans this one last gift #and instead what they get is fans whining that it's 'rushed' #rushed has a shit ass connotation these days #why can't we just say what we mean and call it 'lean storytelling' #it's all the story we needed to get a cohesive ending but without any fat #and like i LOVE me some fat sometimes #but like!! even non fatty meat tastes good! #my god #jen rambles #edited tags to clarify my meaning ahahah

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

#asks #twdg louis #twdg minerva #twdg clementine #twdg violet #twdg marlon #twdg tenn #honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??' #then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha #also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore #like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it #not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed #for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there #it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like... #that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly #also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but #I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did #like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite #anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good #i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw #like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit #and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification #and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go #he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down #'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m #it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay #this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about #even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks #that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you

[citymiddled]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious #flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun #and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like #oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter! #i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :) #this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :) #this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him #he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time #only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team #ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible #bg3 #playing bg3 #astarion #act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked #sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days #really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe #but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences #so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship #so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others #she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other #but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying #sorry. i will be normal again eventually

[mazojo]

So, something very LGBTQ happened today

#The way Cartman is SO invested on the Style agenda maybe we gotta stan sometimes #not really but like. he did deliver us Style+Tolkien so maybe today is a good day guys #keep it up South Park less teggridy and r*ndy and everything will be fine #also did y'all see the .2 seconds of Crenny?? because I did. I saw it. I saw them. #an entire valentines day special dedicated to Kyle and Tolkien dating and Stan being jealous and then them all joining to hold hands what a #great week maybe everything does work out for us in the end #no creek but its okay they can come next week they just wanted the spotlight on style today #sp #south park #this is me spiraling btw if you haven't noticed. I am. spiraling I mean #style #stan #tolkien #kyle

[babyfairy]

very very hard and painful day. one of the hardest i’ve ever endured. i don’t know if/when things will get better but i shared with some of my loved ones how i’m feeling and i was honest about feeling like i’m at rock bottom. love is the only thing that can carry me through. i can’t do it on my own

#i hope i get to a point someday where life feels worth living and i don’t wake up every day wishing it was my last. genuinely #i want to see the beauty in life so badly. i want to know what anchors everyone here #because right now i just don’t know how anyone can handle it. or how it’s worth it for anyone #anyway. i’m fine just tired i cried a lot and my entire face is swollen and i still had to work (lol) so i’m just like. worn ragged i think #physically emotionally etc. just completely raw and wounded. and i have no energy left #but for now i’m safe. so i guess that’s all that matters because that’s all i can control

[rose-lalondde]

pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)

#i can handle one class just fine but 2 classes??? im killing myself #im working too so its like i never have time for myself and its just a neverending well of assignments and work plus i hate the schedule #why is everything due at 10:59 and why is it due in the middle of the week but i have to come back the next 2 days and write responses #one of my classes will trade out a disucssion for the week with an assignment thats due at the end of the week and i like that sm better #the other class makes use do a discussion and an assignment in the same week #and usually they're all due at the same time so i go to work and then go home do my homework and then do more homework on the weekend #then go back to work do you understand my problem #anyway my mom casually confirmed that i have astigmatism recently which ??? #but my eyesight is fine but driving in the dark is hell and its not b/c of the dark! #any kind of bright light blinds me like it could be a sunny day and i won't be seeing shit for that entire drive omg #just realized that this might be the cause of an increase in headaches wait... #ok back on track: adhd consultation (maybe) in a month and a half! #i don't have a therapist so im hoping my doctor can help? or at least refer me to somebody that can help b/c looking is hard omg #where the therapists at omg #moon posts #long one today because i am procrastinating so i can give up <3