#and i think she deserved better but she was doomed by the narrative

[darishima]

She tried asking, once, who had put her in that cage. The girl only looked up at her silently, pupils dilated wide as black voids, endless and deep, darker somehow than the dungeon around them. She said nothing at all. D’arce never asked her that again. She tried to make herself stop wondering about the answer.

fungerblr crowd where you at. hands you d'arce & girl fluff

#i just think theyre good friends... #i think d'arce loves her and its the first time anyone has loved her #and i think she deserved better but she was doomed by the narrative #and i just want to hold her and tell her everything will be okay and she doesnt need to be scared #and she doesnt need to be a god or anything at all she just needs to be a girl #she just needs to be a child that is loved #ohh im emotional. i love you f&h girl #d'arce #fear and hunger #fear & hunger #d'arce fear and hunger #the girl f&h #the girl fear and hunger #funger #girl f&h #how do i tag her even #my fics

[v-thinks-on]

Uther Pendragon, the conqueror, died leaving only a daughter to succeed him. And thus the young Queen Guenevere ascended to the throne. Uther Pendragon was a warlike king, and his daughter took after him in spirit, though she was not trained to lead the charge as a son would have been.

In those days, even a warlike queen—and perhaps especially a warlike one—was regarded with mistrust, and no sooner had the King’s body been laid to rest, then there was a cry for the new Queen to find a husband. But with the fearsome pride of her father, Queen Guenevere refused to surrender herself to any noble lord or prince—and perhaps wisely so, for favoring one house would mean making an enemy of all the rest.

At last, Merlyn, the renowned sorcerer, proposed a solution: an enchanted sword embedded in a stone, and who-so-ever proved himself worthy by successfully pulling it free would have the Queen to wed. The Queen called a great tournament, which drew every knight in the land to fight and to test the sword in the stone. Among them was the newly knighted Sir Kay, and with the young Sir Kay came his squire, Arthur.

(Read More on AO3)

#v writes #The Once and Future King #Arthuriana #Queen Guinevere #King Arthur #Lancelot du Lac #Arthur x Lancelot x Guinevere #I wrote a little something! #I wanted to give Guenevere a bit more to do and I think she deserves to be in charge as a treat #and I think Arthur works well as the voice of the common people given his background in The Once and Future King #Arthur is probably not also secretly the son of Uther Pendragon in this AU though it would also suit the Arthurian narrative if he was #doomed by the narrative to marry the sister he doesn't know about and have Mordred though I'd hope they'd be better parents than Morgause

[weirdmageddon]

do you ever think about how jade harley grew up alone and without real human contact after her grandpa died when she was like four? and at 13 years old, on johns birthday when everyone played the game, she finally met someone in waking person the first time in nearly a decade—dave—for like only a few hours probably, and then went back to being alone for 3 years??

and then to make matters worse she inadvertently caused his death during that little window of time she had with another living person?

so yeah of course she’d be hysterical bro this is like the first irl person she interacts with in like almost a decade and just hours later she accidentally fucking shoots him dead from redirected bullets

and dave knew it was gonna happen but couldnt tell her or it would create a doomed timeline because this was supposed to happen, and dave obviously knew that if jade knew her bullets would kill dave she wouldnt go through with it. and dave later reveals he was thinking more about how it wouldve made jade feel to watch him die than knowing he was about to fucking die at the time

in the pre-retcon, wasn’t daveprite’s whole reason for breaking up with jade about feeling like she deserved better than being forced by the narrative to be with discount bargain bin bird dave instead of alpha timeline dave, the first person she ever had contact with in a decade?

i wish dave and jade could have had a reunion arc (mini version) because dave was such an important person to her, and probably to him as well, not only as one of her closest internet friends but also the first living person she had in-person contact with in about a decade. instead we got the briefest of exchanges before the final battle, after pulling them apart again through plot shit. that’s just so sad

#jade harley #homestuck #dave strider #davejade #homestuck meta #sadstuck #hs

[codenamethebird]

Ok here's a little (not really) analysis/theory post about Hades 2, because I'm obsessed. Its consumed all my thoughts. And I need to talk about a theme I think will (hopefully) be addressed as the game progresses.

Here's some examples of dialogue that starts to touch on this conflict between mortals and the gods. What exactly do mortals deserve? We also have literal Icarus "flew too close to the sun" here too (and probably Pandora). Chronos was able to sway many to his side with a promise of a golden age without the gods, which is presented by the narrative as a foolish venture. And not saying it isn't, or that Chronos is the secret good guy here, but I believe Chronos is taking advantage of a very real hurt that exists for mortals.

This line from Nemesis really stood out to me, because it implies that while mortals have a concept of evil, the gods don't. Which sounds ridiculous but the more you think about it makes total sense. The gods in Hades (and just greek myth in general), are kind of the worst. They are petty and selfish, they literally attack you if their boon isn't picked first, and most vitally in this context, often utterly disregard mortals.

For example, one of the things that drove me a little crazy in Hades 1, was how chill everyone was with Demeter's never ending winter. Demeter was killing possibly millions upon millions of mortals and everyone else just sort of let it happen. Maybe complained a bit because it was annoying to them, but just stood by. And that's just one example. Mortal's have a very valid reason to hate the gods.

And considering we have more areas of the surface to explore that aren't out yet, I have a feeling Melinoë is going to be meeting some of these discontent mortals. And my hope is they are going to be nuanced characters, that will challenge Melinoë not just in a fight, but her very ideals.

Because Melinoë is very deferential to the gods, waaaaaay more that Zag ever was. Unlike Zag, who was more like a bro to them and was willing to suck up to them for personal gain, Melinoë seems to genuinely mean all the respect she gives them. She praises them, defends them when they are insulted, and just generally very polite to them.

In a smaller scale, she describes Hypnos as having a wisdom about him and can somehow sense her intensions while asleep. Which as Nem implies, the version in Melinoë's head doesn't exactly line up with reality (though sidebar, I am a believer in Chekov's Hypnos and that he's going to somehow save the day and put Chronos in a never ending sleep or something, but that's beside the point haha).

Melinoë's reverence to the gods makes total sense of course. She was denied her family and a happy childhood, and because of that has glorified them all in her head. The Olympians are sending her vital aid on her holy mission for vengeance and to save her family, even as their own home is being attacked, how honorable of them!

And I think part of Melinoë's arc is that perfect picture of them breaking into pieces. Yes, they are the better of the two options between them and Chronos, but that doesn't mean they aren't also kind of the worst. That mortals deserve better than frivolous gods that can decide on a whim their fates for better or worse (love u Moros but I'm still fucked up over you and your sisters giving mortals horrible doom endings when you were bored. At least he feels bad now but still. Perfect example of gods even when not intending to having horrific consequences for mortals). And maybe like how Zag healed relations with his family, Melinoë can start repairing relations between the Gods and Mortals.

#hades 2 #hades game #hades ii #hades supergiant #hades #I also realized after finishing this that another example of the gods being shit is with Heracles #and considering how little dialouge of his is out yet #im super curious of what that'll bring about #but yeah as I said in the middle of this #I really want at least of the mortals in Chronos's army to be a proper character that interacts with Melinoë #oooooh maybe they can foil Melinoë and their family was killed due to some godly interference #theres just so much potential #hades 2 spoilers #edit: ahhhh i forgot my girl Arachne im sorry best girl #but yes further proving my point

[cerastes]

I think my least favorite take, opinion, whatever you want to call it, is “why did Arknights not say the Inquisition was bad?”. It applies to any event, really, replace Inquisition with whatever the Authority Figure Organization is involved, and hell, I even agree with the sentiment sometimes, Arknights’ not flawless, but for the most part: You need to read better. You are playing the Game That Doesn’t Say Things Explicitly. It tends not to say things explicitly, turns out.

It kind of bugs me opening my inbox and seeing something to the effect of “I’m uncomfortable about Irene because she’s technically a cop, why is she not Condemned for it?” First of all, shame on your for wanting all of the art you peruse instantly moralized, to the point it needs to somehow involved a shovelful of The Opinion, served explicitly, at the drop of a hat. That aside, the Inquisition is not put on a good light to say the least, so even then the point is moot. Irene’s journey is very much seeing with her own eyes that “the Inquisition raised me, I respect and love the people I’ve met in it, as they do me, and the dogma surrounding the Inquisition is an important brick in the temple that is my life” necessarily is something that exists alongside “the Inquisition does in fact leave the imperiled to be doomed, and sees human life more as numbers and resources than human lives, the dogma is built, necessarily, on oppression of others as a means of fostering order and morale, and I’ve benefited directly from this privilege”, and that she has to make a decision. High Inquisitor Dario, her mentor and foster father, tells her as much: “Once you see things with your eyes, you have to make a decision”. Irene does in fact make her decision, leaving the Inquisition and the mentorship of The Highest Of Inquisitors, Saint Carmen himself, who was going to take her in and basically assure her a seat as a High Inquisitor in the future, because she found the latter realization to weight more than the former. In her own words, Irene decided to step away from this, because if she remained in the Inquisition, she’d only forever perpetuate the oppression on the Aegir, among other things.

Now, there’s definitely more to say about the Inquisition of Iberia, but I’m focusing on Irene here: Do you think it’d make sense for her to just suddenly have a moment of clarity, in the middle of all that fighting and struggling to stay alive, say “I’m antifa now, actually” and discard everything that has been her life until that moment just like that? If you do think so, I hope you don’t write anything soon. Your desire for catharsis is not unimportant, but the narrative shouldn’t have to accommodate for it in the most neckbreak way possible, and if you do need it to do that, then read something else, there are reads and games like that elsewhere (for example, Tales of the Abyss has the main character do an absolute 180 from one moment to another after a specific event in its story), but also do show some respect for the fact that Irene, in a way that resembles what anyone who just had her entire world view challenged not once, but twice (Under Tides and Stultifera Navis) would act, allows herself some time apart from the tension of the Big Happenings of the event, actually digest the paradigm shift, the loss of someone important to her, what to do with all the new information she has and what the experiences have taught her, and grow out from there organically. 

What I’m trying to say is that I’d rather have less “conclusive” overdone neckbreak moments of “you know what? Fuck this! Fuck you!” and maybe let the characters in any given narrative seep and stew into what happened and what happens from there on. Take, for example, Full Metal Alchemist, in which certain important characters have a real moment of “Hey... Are we... The bad guys?” that shapes the events of an entire, important part of the story long term, slowly, with the gravitas it deserves.

#just really irks me whenever an event comes out and I get or see asks like ''I don't like that the narrative didn't explicitly throw a #molotov cocktail at the Authority Figure Organization in the story'' like MAN there's definitely the place for those complaints #arknights definitely has things you can criticize to that level but for the most part #most every big organization is not portrayed in a good light it's just not a character waving a sign with big red neon letters that spell it #out #arknights #Irene

[xiaolanhua]

So here are my thoughts about In Blossom!

This post may have some spoilers!

I finished watching it yesterday and decided to make a post about my opinions while the drama is still fresh in my mind.

So, the drama made me interested from beginning till the end and overall it's great! It's nothing really revolutionary in terms of plot/story (historical dramas tend to have some similar stories) but it delivered what was promised: mystery, romance, investigation, a bit of thriller with amazing shots and gorgeous costumes!

About the leads:

Liu Xue Yi as the male lead really raised the level of this drama. His performance was one of my favorite things while watching it and i'm so grateful to whoever casted him as the lead because he deserves it (enough with playing the bad guy who never gets his happy ending or the girl 🥲).

At first, I was a little bit concerned about watching because I wasn't a fan of Ju Jing Yi's acting from the dramas I've watched with her but after finishing this one I think she made a solid performance (it's not the best one but definitely her best one yet) and it didn't compromised the drama at all. I've seeing a bunch of not so nice comments towards her specially because people were not happy with the actress "swapping" and although I think the "original" Yang Cai Wei did a great job I'm still satisfied with how things turned out and I like both "Cai Wei".

About the main couple:

For me, it's really poetic how Pan Yue loved Cai Wei since childhood, got to reunite with her after 10 years from being apart of each other, to think he finally married her and then "she" dies on the eve of the wedding, and how he goes insane about her death that get white strokes on his hair and goes on a mission to know who is behind her murder WHILE Cai Wei it's alive by his side but with the face of someone he despises (Shangguan Zhi) and when they start to work together on the cases, they begin to be close to each other and he hates himself for developing feelings for Shangguan Zhi thinking he's betraying Cai Wei's memory. It get's even better because he's falling in love again as she's behaving like the Cai Wei he knows so he get's even more confused and watching all of this was a delight!

They had chemistry, their scenes were fun, interesting, tender and sometimes even hot so it's a win for me actually.

About the second couple (SPOILER!!!!):

Their interactions were pretty cute and they had chemistry but it's a shame what happened to them, specially with Lan Jiang (he deserved better). I always felt that they were a "doomed" couple and I'm sad that I was right about it, my heart hurts for them both as the characters themselves and the ship that didn't sail.

About the cases and the story:

Another thing i liked about this drama is how the cases were introduced, they were directly or indirectly related to the main "mystery" and every case were solved so they didn't left any loose ends. Some dramas of this genre tend to abruptly solve the cases and they end up not adding much to the narrative so I'm glad this were not the case here.

The pacing of the drama was pretty good but I do feel like the last two episodes were a bit rushed. We can't have it all, can't we?

The ending was good as expected (not for some characters I would say) but still good. SPOILER!!! I liked that the cliffhanger did not affected the characters so it could have a second season if the producers wanted but it's not necessarily needed (My Journey to You can't relate).

Overall, it was a pleasant watch so I rate 8.9 out of 10. It's not perfect but I would totally recommend!

#in blossom #in blossom spoilers #cdrama #drama review #aurora says #花间令

[recovering-dungeon-lord]

I’ve been watching the 2017 Legend of the Condor Heroes (with fanmade english subtitles, thank you for your hard work, various fansubers and especially youtube user Emycee Chin) and I’m really enjoying it for lots of reasons but one thing I can’t stop thinking about is how like. Technically 90% of the story wouldn’t have happened if not for Bao Xiruo saving Wanyan Honglie’s life.

And it would be so so easy for the narrative to focus on that. To turn it into this tragic tale of how Xiruo’s ‘soft, woman’s heart’ doomed her family. How her fatal flaw was mercy. But they… don’t really do that? Her kindness ultimately leading to her ruin is definitely a part of the tragedy of her story/character, but it’s never framed as weakness, as something that means she’s *to blame* when her good intentions are turned back around on her.

Instead, we see how each and every person who takes advantage of her kind heart is cruel and manipulative. She’s a tragic character by virtue of being a kind person in a cruel world, but the tragedy isn’t framed as an inevitable consequence of her kindness. There’s no implication that she ‘should have known better’ or that if she had been harder and ‘stronger’, she could have had a happier ending.

She’s not tragic for being kind in the face of cruelty, she’s tragic because the world is cruel in the face of her kindness. She’s tragic because she deserves better and she doesn’t get it.

Idk that might not seem like a big difference to some people, but it’s huge to me.

#lotch #loch #legend of the condor heroes #wuxia #cdrama #i think?? #loch is considered a cdrama right??? #sorry im new here

[super-ion]

In honor of the 1 50 year anniversary of Goncharov, I wanted to write just a little thing about my favorite underappreciated side character. Mariella deserves so much better than what she got.

-----

Mariella gasped awake, clutching at her midsection.

Katya shot her.

Mariella, drenched in Sofia's blood had grabbed her lover’s gun. Before she could even attempt to aim, the second shot rang out. A lance of pain streaked through her as the clocktower began to chime. She sank to her knees on the wet flagstones on the bridge and felt the life pouring from her. The last thing she saw was Sofia's glazed eyes. The last word on her lips was Sofia's name.

The clocktower, now distant, rang. She stared at the ceiling of her bedroom, tears prickling in the corners of her eyes.

It was Monday again. The clock was chiming with the sunrise.

Mariella pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. How many times had she woken up in this bed, on this day? How many times had she been around this loop?

She had lost count a long time ago.

Each time was different, as if she were trapped in a story with a thousand authors who couldn't agree on the details.

She wasn't even the main character of whatever this story was. She couldn't explain it if she wanted to, but over the grind of endless living the same week over and over, it had become clear that she was just a minor side character. Someone who existed in the background, along for the ride in someone else's narrative.

She rolled out of bed and stared into the distance.

“What do you want from me?” she asked the universe for perhaps the millionth time.

She didn't think about trying to end it. She had tried. She had tried and tried and tried. But invariably, death simply delivered her back to this moment.

Perhaps she had been dead this whole time. Perhaps this was hell.

She was doomed to relive the same five days, doomed to fall in love with a woman with impossibly twisted loyalties, a woman who herself fell in love with a monster, a monster by choice rather than necessity, but a monster nonetheless.

Even after this eternity, Mariella could remember being a schoolgirl on holiday in the countryside. She could remember meeting Katya, she could remember falling in love.

She could remember their reunion, years later. She could remember the unease, the vague wariness of meeting the woman that girl had become.

The door to her flat opened. Joe was here, bearing eggs and bread and sweet apples from the market.

Might as well start again, she murmured to herself and drifted like a wraith to the kitchen.

Joe was at the stove, his back to her as it always was.

“Hello, sister dearest. Do you want breakfast?”

The boss wants you to work late tonight, Mariella recited silently.

“Boss wants me to work late tonight,” Joe said, without turning from the stove. “Might be a busy week.”

He did turn them, a crooked grin on his face. He stilled at the sight of her. Something dangerous flashed in his eyes. Something she never noticed or questioned before the day after tomorrow.

Why do they call you Icepick Joe?

The question had been innocent enough at the beginning, but she had seen too much, lived through this week too many times.

He studied her a moment.

“There someone I need to pay a visit?”

The woman I love is going to kill you in four days.

Or he was going to kill her.

Both of them would be dead by Friday in either case.

Sofia would kill Joe. Katya would kill Sofia. Or Goncharov would kill Sofia. Or Andrey.

It was always the same. Every. Single. Time.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to fall to her knees and howl until her throat was raw.

Every single person Mariella ever loved would-

The phone rang.

Mariella flinched.

The phone never rang. Not in all the times she had lived through this morning.

It rang again.

She stared at it.

“You going to get that?” Joe called over his shoulder.

With trembling hands, she picked up the receiver and raised it to her her.

“Mari?”

Her breath caught in her throat and she nearly staggered.

That voice haunted her dreams, it haunted every waking thought.

She wasn't supposed to hear that voice for the first time until that evening.

She cast a glance at Joe, who was no doubt listening very intently.

“It's… it's me,” she said, trying to keep the tremor out of her voice. “I'm here.”

“Mariella, what the fuck is going on?”

#my writing #goncharov #goncharov 1973 #lesbian #little love letter to Mariella who i love

[localdorkincombatboots]

Mom I need your opinion on sollux and eridan (please?) :3

Yes my child no problem 😄

Another pair of toxic trolls who're often shipped together! Ngl I'm not fully sure what kind of answer has been wanted between this and the last ask cause I'm not sure if you just want me to talk about each of the characters separately or if you're also wanting me to acknowledge the ship between them and the nuances in it so I try to cover both.

Again, to preface this these are both shitty 13 year old boys who aren't great people trolls and part of that is cause of the hellscape of a world they grew up in. So today's purity standards don't apply to them in the fact that yes they're shitty but for the zillionth time depiction is not glorification and they're literally pawns for the narrative.

For Sollux, he's a gamer/hacker dude that is recognizably based on a lot of guys like that in the 2000s. He's not a great person in that he uses slurs and isn't pc but he's a very real 13 year old boy who taught himself all about how computers work and just likes to play games and talk shit with his friends. I feel especially bad for him when I think about how Vriska forced him to kill Aradia and how he has to live with not only that but also his visions of Doom and knowing that he and all of his friends would die. He's a tragic character but he's also pretty fun to play around with in art and fanfics. Also he's a very shippable character like there's a lot of different ships that he works great in esp stuff like Fefsolradia and such

For Eridan, he's a punkass little "nice guy" spoiled rich 13 year old with a superiority complex. He supports genocide of lowbloods and has no respect for Fef's right to be with whoever she wants. Granted, the situation he grew up in with only really having her as a good friend and his responsibility of helping keep Gl'bgolyb fed didn't exactly discourage that way of thinking at all and probably fed into it but if SGrub hadn't happened while it could've been a possibility for him to learn better its likely he wouldn't because of how Alternian society promotes selfishness and the idea that highbloods deserve anything they want. Narratively he makes sense and he exists in order to fill the role of "nice guy" who ends up wrecking their future just because he was rejected. At least that's canon Eridan. Fanon Eridan can be more fun just because ppl like to focus on his being a uwu soft boi and his love of magic and esp his kissmesis/matesprit ships with Sollux. Also obligatory shout out to March Eridan love that shit just cause it's silly.

As far as their ship goes, there's a lot of fun to be had and there's far too many fics of them out there to count. Are they healthy for each other? Absolutely not without a very long fic of them learning how to be better people and getting over their own shit. Did I used to ship in high school? Absolutely though I haven't cared about it in years.

#jaye shut up #homestuck #hs #sollux captor #eridan ampora #erisol #march eridan

[neonscandal]

So, if you asked to write your top 5 fav characters each from JJK & BNHA, what genre will you put them (or you agree that they should be in shounen)....

My asks are getting funnier. 🥰 As always, thanks for asking, lets dig in.

Look at these knuckleheads.

JJK Top 5

I've seen people make really funny observations about how every character in JJK belongs in a different universe but was shoehorned into a horror battle shonen and it delights me to no end. I'm not sure if Gege Akutami actually penned characters that are typical of other anime genres, in a sense, but do believe we all collectively just want our faves to have better odds of survival. At this point, Gege looks at fan polls like a dead pool. I think a story where characters are so obviously not meant to be there would be hilarious if done intentionally, camp even.

Satoru Gojo - The duality of a man who is "The Strongest" in universe while maintaining a girly pop facade to circumvent feeling othered by his strength? Two of my favorite things about Gojo are that he is 1) traumatized 🤪✨ and 2) down astronomically for the days he spent with Suguru Geto. Put this man in a shonen ai, stat.

Nobara Kugisaki and Maki Zenin - Yuri. I feel like I don't need to explain myself here except to say that I put them as one item on the list because I didn't want a list of 6 (I have so many faves). Both iconic, both bad ass. No notes. On the other hand, I would never want to rob Maki of her revenge story so... grain of salt if she stays in universe.

Kento Nanami - I was going to say "this man wants to be in an office sitcom so bad" but, truthfully, would not find the overdone gags and antics palatable. Nanami deserves to rest at an even, dulcet tempo. Traumatized in his youth, he really only returns to jujutsu because office work is unfulfilling but imagine if he were in an office shojo with a found family that he had to provide for? I'm not saying this anime is particularly good but plop him in something cozy like "The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague" but with the home life of "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid". He'll work for the money because it provides for someone else, you know? Let him suffer fools in peace.

Yuji Itadori - Sweet baby angel. Yuji follows the "best of both worlds" phenomenon that we see in other horror anime like Chainsaw Man, Tokyo Ghoul and Attack on Titan wherein he is both human and curse (avoiding further spoilers). But his disposition, his resilience, his pure physical prowess before he ever ate Sukuna's finger? Put this boy in a sports anime and let him thrive. While he'd absolutely body in a fighting sport, what if he was plopped into "Blue Lock"? Sports anime with a dash of horror aesthetic. He'd crush while being as upbeat and hilariously chaotic as Bachira.

Suguru Geto - Baby Girl is one of the most compelling villains we have. I'd say across multiple anime, honestly. He's what happens when a good person, someone who aims to be so morally upright, is faced with the reality that being good actually guarantees you nothing. With someone so unwavering, someone who can't live in shades of grey like Gojo, he can't bend. So he breaks. Honestly, it adds a layer of complexity to the overall story where... can we really, as the viewer, fault him? I feel like he wouldn't have this evolution anywhere else and that there's something to be said as to whether Geto was always doomed by the narrative.

There's never not been a good time to celebrate this frame, honestly.

BNHA Top 5

What's cool about BNHA is, it is authentically a shonen manga/anime while subverting a lot of it's tropes. BUT, we see this really interesting progression in the art that drifts into horror. Not aiming to spoil anything that's to come in season 7 (body horror, it's body horror. Bones better come through) but you see the beginning of it with the change in vigilante Deku's appearance. If Horikoshi felt inclined to do a horror anime post-BNHA, I'd definitely read.

Katsuki Bakugo - Hilariously, Bakugo wants to shonen so bad but is actually so damsel in distress/love interest coded that it almost undermines his role as Midoriya's rival. Almost. Shonen, shonen ai, I don't think he's out of place in either.

Shoto Todoroki - Todoroki's entire personality and character arc being so intrinsically linked to his family is honestly so amusing given the universe. Like, people have real life superhero powers but awful parents are very much still a thing. So it's interesting to expose the complexity of their family dynamics in tandem with the overarching story because, in every way, the Todoroki family are very much members of the Have's of BNHA society but they are still hopelessly miserable. TBH he could be in a slice of life just experiencing and resolving family trauma. "Kotaro Lives Alone" comes to mind.

Shouta Aizawa - I would cast Aizawa in "Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan" but he wouldn't have the decency to show up to work without a sleeping bag. I'm not saying it wouldn't look out of place in universe but do better for the kids. Joking. He's honestly both the perfect teacher but also a big ole hypocrite. He condemns Midoriya for his recklessness and self-sacrificing (re: breaking bones to use his quirk) but didn't think twice about hacking off his own leg, logical though it may have been. I know All Might is cast as the quintessential mentor in the shonen dynamic but Aizawa is the real MVP when it comes to mentoring and guiding the Class 1A competently. Shonen all the way.

Izuku Midoriya - I can't say Magical Girl Anime, I can't say Magical Girl anime. I appreciate Midoriya's similarity to eponymous crybaby hero Sailor Moon, tbh. She too was OP and with the fate of the world on her shoulders, just saying. He falls in line with the shonen trope of eating something and powering up (re: JJK, One Piece, Attack on Titan) but has emotional range that is not typically seen in shonen which, honestly I love. He is masculine while still being aggressively expressive (even if he struggles to articulate his feelings). His character and subsequent development is another way that Horikoshi subverts shonen tropes and I can't wait to see how his story wraps up.

Dabi - This crispy piece of bacon is a walking, talking and dancing personification of resolute rage. He is quite literally a vendetta held together by staples. Later chapters especially, he just gets unrelentingly grosser and more unhinged and it's both disgusting and emotional. To be honest, between him and Shigaraki, they are undeniably horror fodder by design. In fact, the reveal that he was a little misogynistic extremist radical was particularly wild of Horikoshi. Like, basically if he hadn't self destructed on that mountain he'd have been some incel plotting violence on the deep dark web? I'm trying to think of what to plop him into (maybe not his charred body but just his general... maliciousness, conviction and extremism). I feel like something horror, psychological with a sprinkle of thriller? What comes to mind is a dark series on my TBR but the name escapes me about a kid getting revenge one by one against sadistic bullies though its unclear where Dabi falls on that spectrum.

#neon asks #anon asks #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #anime #manga #character analysis #satoru gojo #nobara kugisaki #maki zenin #nanami kento #yuji itadori #suguru geto #katsuki bakugo #shoto todoroki #shouta aizawa #izuku midoriya #dabi #touya todoroki #shonen anime

[fearlessinger]

Time to address the Halcyon Green-shaped elephant in the room aka let me explain to you why I think it’s canon even though it seems like it should not be aka another installment of Tinfoilhatting With Fsinger

I’m really sorry I could not think of a better title. Hope you’re intrigued enough to follow me in this journey anyway. 

So. The thing is. 

The Halcyon story, taken as it is, does not gel with TOA at all. 

And not because it’s OOC for Apollo to have done what Halcyon says he’s done to him… Although I think it is. I think an argument can and should be made – and has been made by @flightfoot before – that this story, taken as it is, is essentially… incompatible with Apollo’s characterization in every other scrap of the RRverse he appears in. (This story, and also the Harpocrates story, which I won’t examine here because it deserves its own post. For now I’ll just say it’s interesting to note that it’s the two additions to Apollo’s background that Rick invented out of whole cloth that share this peculiarity, and I don’t think it’s by mistake). 

But whether the Halcyon story breaks the internal consistency of Apollo’s characterization or not is a matter of secondary importance in the face of the fact that the Halcyon story breaks the internal consistency of the TOA narrative as a whole. 

Take this excerpt from The Diary Of Luke Castellan:

“How long have you been here?” I asked.

Halcyon shrugged listlessly. The monster spoke for him: “I have lost count. Decades? Because my father is the god of oracles, I was born with the curse of seeing the future. Apollo warned me to keep quiet. He told me I should never share what I saw because it would anger the gods. But many years ago…I simply had to speak. I met a young girl who was destined to die in an accident. I saved her life by telling her the future.”

I tried to focus on the old man, but it was hard not to look at the monster’s mouth—those black lips, the slavering bone-plated jaws.

“I don’t get it…” I forced myself to meet Halcyon’s eyes. “You did something good. Why would that anger the gods?”

“They don’t like mortals meddling with fate,” the leucrota said. “My father cursed me. He forced me to wear these clothes, the skin of Python, who once guarded the Oracle of Delphi, as a reminder that I was not an oracle. He took away my voice and locked me in this mansion, my boyhood home. Then the gods set the leucrotae to guard me. Normally, leucrotae only mimic human speech, but these are linked to my thoughts. They speak for me. They keep me alive as bait, to lure other demigods. It was Apollo’s way of reminding me, forever, that my voice would only lead others to their doom.”

An angry coppery taste filled my mouth. I already knew the gods could be cruel. My deadbeat dad had ignored me for fourteen years. But Halcyon Green’s curse was just plain wrong. It was evil.

Now think back on all the times Apollo compares Nero to Zeus or even Kronos, and all the times he does not include himself too as a term of comparison.

Remember how Apollo equated Nero warning Meg her disobedience would “make him unleash the Beast” to Zeus warning his children to not “get on the wrong side of my lightning bolts”, rightfully recognizing that they are the exact same kind of manipulative abdication to personal responsibility + shifting of the blame onto the injured party that’s a staple of the classic abuser’s playbook? Well, at the same time as he noted that, he was omitting to add that he himself had threatened Halcyon in an almost identical manner, telling his son that to disobey him would “anger the gods”. 

And not only was Apollo omitting that, he was explicitly equating himself to Lu instead. Lu, who, yes, was a cog in the abusive machine that kept Meg trapped, but was so against her own wishes, because she really had no other choice, no better options. Lu, who only ever tried to help Meg survive. Who jumped at the chance to help set Meg free as soon as it was offered to her, even knowing that Meg’s freedom would likely come at the cost of her own life. 

Remember how Apollo mentally tuned out Nero’s villain monologue right in the middle of the ‘Top 100 Times Apollo Has Failed As A Parent’ section, ensuring that we, the readers, would not risk learning about Halcyon even in this manner?

Because Apollo is the narrator of TOA. He’s the one who chooses what to let us know, and what information he wants to withhold from us. 

Bearing this in mind, doesn’t the thought that he’d purposely choose to bury the Halcyon story fill you with rage? It sure has that effect on me! :))) (Yes, those are angry smiles in case you couldn’t tell.)

It’s painfully clear, right from the very beginning of THO, that Apollo’s not oblivious to the nature and mechanics of abuse. Especially abuse perpetrated by parents on their children. He knows exactly what that is and how it works. He calls it by name. He explains it to us and to Meg, repeatedly. He points fingers. At several people. 

Never at himself.

Oh, he easily admits to being a “terrible father”. He expresses regret and apologizes for it multiple times. But the implication, all through the 5 books that make up the TOA series, is that he’s guilty of neglect, not of active abuse. 

And we know, even though Apollo never even tries to defend himself, that the neglect is not really a free choice on his part. He DOES want to be there for his children. But he can’t. He’s not allowed to. The laws of non interference forbid it, and the consequences of disobeying Olympus’s laws… well the whole series is an example of how dire they can be. 

‘Hey, if we don’t get out of this –’

‘None of that talk,’ I chided.

‘Yeah, but I wanted to tell you, I’m glad we had some time together. Like … time time.’

His words warmed me even more than Paul Blofis’s lasagne.

I knew what he meant. While I’d been Lester Papadopoulos, I hadn’t spent much time with Austin, or any of the people I’d stayed with, really, but it had been more than we’d ever spent together when I was a god. [...]

I was tempted to promise we’d do this more often if we survived, but I’d learned that promises are precious. If you’re not absolutely sure you can keep them, you should never make them [...].

So despite how much he wants to – and we know how much he wants to because he tells us, because by the end of the series he’s not hiding it anymore – Apollo can’t promise Austin that they’ll spend more time together, even if they both survive. The uncertainty has nothing to do with the fact that they are currently facing death. Apollo makes it crystal clear.

Right after his triumphant return on Olympus, where he’s welcomed with full honors, he still doesn’t dare state plainly his desire to go back to visit his children and all the mortals who have helped him along the way. “I’ll visit some old friends,” he says, fully knowing how that will be interpreted, and silently accepts Dionysus’ contribution in muddying the waters even further.

I don’t say this to absolve him. It’s right of Apollo to acknowledge that he’s failed his children. That he should have tried more, and harder, to be there for them anyway. That he must try more and harder NOW. And he does. 

But none of the above addresses the Halcyon situation at all. The Halcyon situation is simply not the same. 

The closest the TOA narrative ever gets to forcing Apollo to tackle a comparable sort of issue is when it introduces Trophonius, the only other son of Apollo whom we see harbor any kind of resentment toward his father… but even in Trophonius’ case, Apollo is guilty of inaction, not of taking active, violent action against his son. 

Granted, there’s good reason to suspect that in Trophonius’s time the rules against divine intervention weren’t yet as strict as they are in the modern age, so Apollo does not have that excuse for his inaction there. And Apollo himself admits there was some sort of punitive intent on his part: he felt Trophonius “deserved to face the consequences” of his bad choices. But even considering all this… the Trophonius situation and the Halcyon situation are still light years apart in their substance.

Trophonius used the talent and the opportunities to make it shine that he’d gotten from his father (we can certainly add nepotism to the list of Apollo’s crimes) to fraud and rob his clients, and was left to deal on his own with the fallout of being discovered.

Halcyon was admonished by Apollo to never use the talent he’d inherited, and chose to disregard that admonition to save the life of a little girl. Something which by the way had zero negative consequences that we know of. For this, Apollo personally took it upon himself to actively punish him, by walling him up in his own house and cursing him to become the twisted instrument of death of countless innocent children for the rest of his days. 

The two above things… are not the same. 

One might even say the two above things stand in contradiction one with the other, but again that’s not the argument I’m making right now. My point is Apollo’s regret for refusing to help Trophonius and Agamethus can’t even begin to cover what Apollo did to Halcyon.

There is nothing in the whole of TOA that can be construed as even just… a viable proxy to at the very least obliquely address the Halcyon story, and what it implies about Apollo as a god, as a person, and as a parent.

And no, Apollo’s memory problems aren’t a good enough excuse for sidestepping this reckoning, because

that only works if we assume the Halcyon story is a single isolated incident and not representative of a pattern of behavior on Apollo’s part… which brings us right back to the idea that it’s actually OOC for Apollo to have done what Halcyon says he’s done to him. And

at the end of the series Apollo gets all of his godly brain power back. And what happens then? He condemns one final, definitive time Zeus’s and Nero’s treatment of their children without even so much as hinting that he himself has been guilty of exactly the same behavior in the past. Not even the distant past, but a few decades ago at most! 

Again I ask: doesn’t that fill you with rage? :))

And yet the narrative contract here explicitly requires us to buy into Apollo’s honesty of intentions. No, there is no guarantee that he will manage to keep his promises. There is no guarantee that from now on he will do everything right either. But we are supposed to at least believe that he WANTS to. At the end of the series, Apollo literally asks us to put our faith and trust in him. 

But how can we do that in the face of him choosing to never come clean about the Halcyon thing? 

We can’t.

So. Where am I going with this? Am I arguing that the novella should be expunged from canon after all? 

No, as stated in the title, I am not. There is a very simple way to reconcile the Halcyon novella with the story that is told in TOA, the Apollo that we hear about in the Halcyon novella with the Apollo we got to know in the 5 books that star him as both protagonist and narrator. All we need to do is let ourselves consider the possibility that Halcyon's punishment… was not Apollo's choice. 

Yes, Apollo was the one to enact it, there’s no doubt about that. But he wasn’t the one who came up with it. He wasn’t the one who wanted it.

And the clues are there.

All throughout the series, there is one character who is particularly fearful of prophecies. Who condemned Apollo to his own punishment at the end of HOO by citing as a reason that he'd been too quick to name a new Pythia who could speak the future into existence. Who could plausibly have taken issue with Halcyon’s one single act of interference specifically, because it might not look like it but Halcyon saving that little girl's life is the first domino falling in the long chain that will lead to Luke allying with Kronos, the second Titanomachy, and Olympus' stability being threatened thrice in less than a decade. The character whose personal symbols pop up in key moments of the story: the goat Amalthea, the aegis replica destined to Thalia, his own daughter. 

“Prophecies,” Apollo tells Meg in THO, rather vehemently, “are the catalysts for every important event—every quest or battle, disaster or miracle, birth or death. Prophecies don’t simply foretell the future. They shape it! They allow the future to happen.” 

Zeus takes this to mean that if he can just stop prophecies from being uttered he can prevent any problem from materializing. 

Frank looked at Zeus. ‘Um, sir, Your Majesty, can’t you gods just pop over there with us? You’ve got the chariots and the magic powers and whatnot.’

‘Yes!’ Hazel said. ‘We defeated the giants together in two seconds. Let’s all go –’

‘No,’ Zeus said flatly.

‘No?’ Jason asked. ‘But, Father –’

Zeus’s eyes sparked with power, and Jason realized he’d pushed his dad as far as he could for today … and maybe for the next few centuries.

‘That’s the problem with prophecies,’ Zeus growled. ‘When Apollo allowed the Prophecy of Seven to be spoken, and when Hera took it upon herself to interpret the words, the Fates wove the future in such a way that it had only so many possible outcomes, so many solutions. You seven, the demigods, are destined to defeat Gaia. We, the gods, cannot.’

According to Zeus, prophecies constrain the future. They lock people into a predetermined course of action, a predetermined outcome. They take away people’s ability to choose.

There’s a whole debate to be had on whether Zeus is right or not to think so – and a whole other debate to be had on top of that one on whether Zeus truly believes this is the case or just chooses to delude himself that it is because doing so absolves him of responsibility – but for the moment what matters is that Apollo disagrees with him. 

‘Zeus was already angry with me for appointing that new girl, Rachel Dare, as my Oracle. Zeus seems to think I hastened the war with Gaia by doing so, since Rachel issued the Prophecy of Seven as soon as I blessed her. But prophecy doesn’t work that way! [...]’

Apollo thinks of prophecy as a guide, not a prison. Ultimately, it’s still up to each individual to make their own choices:

“The only other person I’ve ever known to have this, er, firewood problem, back in the old days, was this prince named Meleager. His mom got the same kind of prophecy when he was a baby. But she never even told Meleager about the firewood. She just hid it and let him live his life. He grew up to be kind of a privileged, arrogant brat.”

Hazel held Frank’s hand with both of hers. “Frank could never be like that.”

“I know,” I said. “Anyway, Meleager ended up killing a bunch of his relatives. His mom was horrified. She went and found the piece of firewood and threw it in the fire. Boom. End of story.”

Hazel shuddered. “That’s horrible.”

“The point is, Frank’s family was honest with him. His grandmother told him the story of Juno’s visit. She let him carry his own lifeline. She didn’t try to protect him from the hard truth. That shaped who he is. [...] By burning his own tinder, he kind of…I don’t know, started a new fire with it. He’s in charge of his own destiny now. Well, as much as any of us are.

Apollo really believes in people’s right to make their own choices. He believes in people’s right to take responsibility for those choices too. But to be able to do that, people need to be informed. 

“Die,” I repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Not disappear, not wouldn’t come back, not suffer defeat.”

“Nope. Die. Or more accurately, three letters, starts with D.”

“Not dad, then,” I suggested. “Or dog.”

One fine blond eyebrow crept above the rim of his glasses. “If you seek out the emperor, one of you will dog? No, Apollo, the word was die.”

“Still, that could mean many things. It could mean a trip to the Underworld. It could mean a death such as Leo suffered, where you pop right back to life. It could mean—” 

“Now you’re being evasive,” [...] Jason’s stare was unrelenting. I suspected that in the weeks since his talk with Herophile, he had run every scenario. He was well past the bargaining stage in dealing with this prophecy. He had accepted that death meant death, the way Piper McLean had accepted that Oklahoma meant Oklahoma. I didn’t like that.

“Let’s assume you’re correct,” I said. “You didn’t tell Piper the truth because—?”

“You know what happened to her dad.” [...]

“Yes, but you can’t know how the prophecy will unfold.” [...]

Jason shrugged. “[...] I knew you’d be coming to find me. Herophile said so. If you’d just waited another week—”

“Then what?” I demanded. “You would’ve let us lead you cheerily off to your death? How would that have affected Piper’s peace of mind, once she found out?”

Jason’s ears reddened. It struck me just how young he was—no more than seventeen. [...] Despite all his experiences, was it fair of me to expect him to think logically, and consider everyone else’s feelings with perfect clarity, while pondering his own death? 

I tried to soften my tone. “You don’t want Piper to die. I understand that. She wouldn’t want you to die. But avoiding prophecies never works. And keeping secrets from friends, especially deadly secrets…that really never works. It’ll be our job to face Caligula together, steal that homicidal maniac’s shoes, and get away without any five-letter words that start with D.”

The scar ticked at the corner of Jason’s mouth. “Donut?”

It’s hard to say for sure how big a part did Jason’s resignation play in sealing his fate. This is not the time for that discussion anyway, but I think it’s important to make note of the fact that Apollo really, really did not like it. That Jason’s resignation is in fact what scared Apollo the most. 

I quoted the above passage almost in full because I think it exemplifies and summarizes better than almost anything Apollo’s views on prophecy.

Apollo thinks of prophecy as a beacon in the darkness. It spurs people into action. It lights up their way and pushes them forward, far from the safe stagnancy whose ultimate and truer expression is death (or immortality. But that too is a digression for another time). It doesn’t take away people’s choices: it gives them new ones.

It’s easy to forget, but Apollo is not just the god of prophecy; he is the god of knowledge and truth too. As much as he’s guilty of doing it himself, he does not actually believe in sticking your head in the sand. 

"I warned you," a new voice said. [...]

"You dare come here?" Hades growled. "I should blast you to dust!"

"You cannot," the girl said. "The power of Delphi protects me." [...]

"You've killed the woman I loved!" Hades roared. "Your prophecy brought us to this.'" He loomed over the girl, but she didn't flinch. 

"Zeus ordained the explosion to destroy the children," she said, "because you defied his will. I had nothing to do with it. And I did warn you to hide them sooner." [...]

"Perhaps I cannot bring back Maria. Nor can I bring you to an early death. But your soul is still mortal, and I can curse you."

All through the course of PJO, HOO and TOA we see Apollo’s oracle – his oracles plural, in fact: the Sibyl of Cumae and the Sibyl of Erythrae too in addition to the Pythia – share everything they know punctually and without fail. It’s their job to warn people about the future on Apollo’s behalf, despite the unwarranted backlash they get for it. Apollo himself is heavily implied to be the one who’s sending demigods their convenient prophetic dreams. And who else but Apollo could be the source of Octavian’s confidence that the Sibylline books had survived the fall of Rome, well before Percy, Hazel and Frank met Ella the harpy? 

In TOA, we see Apollo share all that he learns as soon as he learns it, with each and every one of the people he can count on his side. Even when he thinks it will be detrimental, even when he fears their reaction. He still tells them.

The only times we see Apollo be anything less than forthcoming, it’s to cover up the fact that he legitimately does not have the answer. This became extremely clear in TOA, but Percy, who’s much more intuitive than a lot of people give him credit for, had figured it out already in TTC:

"But it's your Oracle," I protested. "Can't you tell us what the prophecy means?" 

Apollo sighed. "You might as well ask an artist to explain his art, or ask a poet to explain his poem. It defeats the purpose. The meaning is only clear through the search." 

"In other words, you don't know."

Apollo checked his watch. "Ah, look at the time! I have to run. [...]"

So, here’s the million dollar question: why would Apollo be opposed to Hal doing the same thing he himself always does? Sharing Knowledge? Giving a little girl a choice, a chance to save herself? 

He wouldn’t. He is not the one who was against it. He is certainly not the one who wanted to see Hal punished for it.

This recontextualizes Halcyon’s words that “Apollo warned me to keep quiet,” because to speak about the future “would anger the gods.” This phrasing is not an indication of Apollo trying to shirk responsibility for the punishment he was threatening his son with. It’s the literal truth. Halcyon putting his powers to good use would anger the gods – not Apollo himself. Gods like Hades who cursed Apollo’s oracle for trying to warn him of imminent danger, or Zeus who stripped Apollo of his immortality for revealing a prophecy “prematurely”. Gods who should very much not be named lest they turn their attention to Apollo and his son.

In this light, I feel it’s pretty illuminating to look back on this line from THO, right out of Apollo’s own mouth:

How could I have been so foolish? Whenever I angered the other gods, those closest to me were struck down.

Of course, Zeus would have been perfectly capable of enacting the punishment himself, much like he'd done with Asclepius, but… with everything we know about Zeus’ parenting and ruling style after TOA… it’s not that hard to imagine he might have wanted to make a point here. It’s not hard to imagine that having to personally deliver the punishment to his own son might have been Apollo’s own punishment for his son’s transgression. 

Remember how many times Apollo likens Zeus to Nero? Wouldn’t it make a scary amount of sense for this to be a “Cassius, I’m rewarding you by letting you cut Luguselwa's hands” move on Zeus’ part?

Apollo, in my generosity, I allow you to give your son the horrible news yourself. 

And of course Apollo would have taken the offer. Of course he’d have accepted to take part in this sick game. What other choice did he have? Defying his father? Declaring war on the king of the gods? Should he have murdered some of Zeus’ favorite servants again? He’d done it for Asclepius, and still had not been able to win him a better deal than forever jail. Which, granted, would still have been a better deal than the one Halcyon got… provided that Apollo could achieve that kind of victory again. 

Something else to consider: Halcyon almost certainly wasn’t Apollo’s only child at the time. And if Apollo had more children, then those children undoubtedly would have become more targets for Zeus’ anger, had their father dared provoke it any further. 

Perhaps Apollo should have taken the risk. Perhaps Apollo chose wrong. But there was no path for him to choose that would not lead to the slaughter of innocents. 

At least, this way, Apollo could see and speak to Hal one last time. This way, he could leave his son with a promise that his punishment would come to an end. 

Because it’s obvious, from Halcyon’s account of his father’s words and actions, that Apollo had foreseen that Luke and Thalia would be the ones to break the curse, and that Hal would be able to escape his misery by dying to save the life of Zeus’ daughter, and therefore had taken care to set up the means for that potential future to be realized. 

The book containing the recipe for greek fire, that Hal was strangely confident they would find on his bookshelves. 

The safe containing the aegis replica, an item befitting Zeus’ progeny, that only a son of Hermes could successfully open, and that Hal remembers Apollo telling him “was sealed since before [Hal] was born”. Who could have done that, and why, if not Apollo so that Thalia could eventually take rightful ownership of it? 

I’d dare suggest, even, that Apollo might have been the one who sent the goat, with the precise intention of luring Thalia and Luke into the trap, knowing that they would make it out thanks to Hal’s sacrifice, with a gift such to ensure that Thalia’s divine father would have no reason to object to the final outcome of Apollo's gamble, and every incentive to overlook how it had been orchestrated. 

But of course Apollo would never tell his son “I had no choice” because WHEN DOES HE EVER. Five books and WE are the only souls he’s actually confessed being an abuse victim to, and even to us he’s given zero details. He never makes excuses for himself. He doesn’t think it matters that he could. He holds himself responsible anyway. 

He believes that he must, because his father never does.

‘I know you think your punishment was harsh, Apollo.’

I did not answer. I tried my best to keep my expression polite and neutral.

‘But you must understand,’ Zeus continued, ‘only you could have overthrown Python. Only you could have freed the Oracles. And you did it, as I expected. The suffering, the pain along the way… regrettable, but necessary [...].’

I had no choice, is Zeus’ constant refrain. I can’t help you, he tells the demigods. “You did not ask for this,” he tells Jason. “I did not want it.” And yet who could have forced the hand of the king of the gods?

He tells his son “I can’t praise you.” He tells him “I can’t give you credit.” He says “someone must take the blame.” He says “it’s the lightning bolt that hurt you.” He says “you must understand. It was necessary. I had no choice.” 

So Apollo refuses to claim the words for himself, even if they are true.

It’s very noble, but also incredibly misguided. It’s the root of all the communication problems he has with his children. The reason why he can’t bring himself to answer Will, and Kayla, and Austin, when they try to tell him that they want him in their lives, not just once or twice, but always, every day. Even they, who know they are loved, have absolutely no idea how much. 

“Maybe Apollo meant we’re going to rescue you,” Thalia said.

Hal typed a new sentence: Or maybe I die today.

“Thank you, Mr. Cheerful,” I said. “I thought you could tell the future. You don’t know what will happen?”

Hal typed: I can’t look. It’s too dangerous. You can see what happened to me last time I tried to use my powers.

“Sure,” I grumbled. “Don’t take the risk. You might mess up this nice life you’ve got here.”

I knew that was mean. But the old man’s cowardice annoyed me. He’d let the gods use him as a punching bag for too long. It was time he fought back, preferably before Thalia and I became the leucrotae’s next meal.

Hal lowered his head. His chest was shaking, and I realized he was crying silently.

When Luke and Thalia meet him at the beginning of the tale, Halcyon is resigned to his fate, and terrified that if he tries to fight it he'll be punished even worse, somehow. He's lost all faith in his father's judgment, and, if he ever had any, in his father's promise of freedom too. He's surrendered to utter despair. He resists Luke's demands that he do something, anything, to help both them and himself. 

Then Luke manages to open the safe, and Hal begins to realize that… maybe… just maybe... there’s a possibility that his father had not lied to him. 

Hal showed us the short novel he’d written: You’re the ones!! You actually got the treasure!! I can’t believe it!! That safe has been sealed since before I was born!! Apollo told me my curse would end when the owner of the treasure claimed it!! If you’re the owner—

He's still terrified. He struggles to let himself dare hope. But eventually he finds the courage to do the right thing once again: use his talent to save the life of these kids who don't deserve to die. 

He reads Thalia's future. 

And then he reads Luke's.

I could feel Hal’s pulse in my fingers—one, two, three.

His eyes flew open. He yanked his hands away and stared at me in terror.

“Okay,” I said. My tongue felt like sandpaper. “I’m guessing you didn’t see anything good.”

It’s in that moment, as he finds himself in the exact same position his father Apollo had once been, seeing the terrible tragedy in this child’s future that he knows, in spite of his best efforts, he won’t be able to avert… It’s in that moment that Hal finally understands. 

Hal picked up his green leather diary. He gestured for me to follow him. We walked to the closet doorway, where Hal took a pen from his jacket and flipped through the book. I saw pages and pages of neat, cramped handwriting. Finally Hal found an empty page and scribbled something.

He handed the book to me.

The note read, Luke, I want you to take this diary. It has my predictions, my notes about the future, my thoughts about where I went wrong. I think it might help you.

I shook my head. “Hal, this is yours. Keep it.”

He took back the book and wrote, You have an important future. Your choices will change the world. You can learn from my mistakes, continue the diary. It might help you with your decisions.

“What decisions?” I asked. “What did you see that scared you so badly?”

His pen hovered over the page for a long time. I think I finally understand why I was cursed, he wrote. Apollo was right. Sometimes the future really is better left a mystery.

“Hal, your father was a jerk. You didn’t deserve—”

Hal tapped the page insistently. 

We are not made privy to Hal’s thought processes in detail. Apollo was right, he writes, and he bristles when Luke tries to protest that notion. He taps the page insistently. What is he trying to communicate? Surely he can’t think that Apollo was right to warn him off of trying to use his gift to save people? 

Especially because… Halcyon is at this very moment once again defying fate to try and save someone. He is at this very moment trying to save Luke from the terrible future he’s seen. 

He knows he doesn’t know enough. He knows he can’t tell Luke what to do. Luke will have to make his own choices. But Hal can make sure those choices will be as informed as possible. Hal wants to give him a chance. He wants to give him hope, something to hang onto when he will be tried. He wants to give Luke what his father had given him. 

Because Hal understands now. Not everything, of course, no. He, and Luke and Thalia too, are still missing the most important pieces of the puzzle. But, clearly, Hal understands enough. Enough to make peace in his heart with his father. Enough to trust that he will get the release his father had promised him in death. Enough to die with a prayer in honor of his father on his lips, quite literally dedicating his heroic sacrifice to him. 

I heard Halcyon Green, shouting a battle cry: “For Apollo!” 

We have no idea what kind of relationship Hal and Apollo had once upon a time. We don’t know what the tone of Hal and Apollo’s last conversation was. Did Apollo allow his heartbreak to show on his face? Did he tell Hal how sorry he was? 

Certainly, he would not have blamed Zeus, and he would not have tried to exculpate himself. Which is why Halcyon still ultimately thinks this was Apollo's decision. 

And yet, something peculiar happens when Hal narrates his conversations with Apollo. "My father warned me," he says, "my father cursed me". But in between those we get "then the gods set the leucrotae to guard me". The gods. There’s that phrasing again. And it does make me wonder... is this how Apollo presented the whole thing to Hal? Are these Apollo’s own words? 

I have to say, I really can see it. This is the will of the gods, Apollo would have said, and just... never specified but NOT MINE. Because he felt that he had no right to Hal’s understanding, let alone Hal’s forgiveness. 

Did Hal pick up on that subconsciously anyway?

We don’t know what kind of relationship Hal and Apollo had once upon a time. We know, because Hal tells us, that Hal had faithfully heeded his father’s warning, until the day he met that little girl, and found that his conscience would not allow him to let her die. We know that in the end Hal forgave his father. That Hal, in his last seconds of life, took comfort in his father’s name.

Why would Hal do such a 180 on Apollo in such a short amount of time? Just based on the realization that Apollo had indeed foreseen all this, and prepared accordingly? Because of what he’d seen when he looked into Luke’s future? It’s a hell of a leap from “Apollo can’t punish me any worse than he already has” to “Apollo was right”, and one that really there’s no way to make logical sense of… unless Hal had just been waiting for an excuse, any excuse, to reconcile himself with the memory of his father. Unless, all this time, Hal had wished nothing more than to be able to believe in his father again.

We don’t know what kind of relationship Hal and Apollo had once upon a time. But Hal’s change of heart, and his behavior leading up to his end, would seem to suggest rather a good one. Not too dissimilar, perhaps, from the one Apollo shares with his kids in the present.

Or perhaps Hal was just scared and desperate as he readied himself to die, and grasping for straws because straws were all he got. For all we know, that’s possible too.

But that is not how Hal appears to Luke in his last moments. 

He met my eyes, and I finally understood what he was planning. “Don’t,” I said. “We can all make it out.” Hal pursed his lips. He wrote, We both know that’s impossible. I can communicate with the leucrotae. I am the logical choice for bait. You and Thalia wait in the closet. I’ll lure the monsters into the bathroom. I’ll buy you a few seconds to reach the exit panel before I set off the explosion. It’s the only way you’ll have time.

“No,” I said.

But his expression was grim and determined. He didn’t look like a cowardly old man anymore. He looked like a demigod, ready to go out fighting.

I couldn’t believe he was offering to sacrifice his life for two kids he’d just met, especially after he’d suffered for so many years. And yet, I didn’t need pen and paper to see what he was thinking. This was his chance at redemption. He would do one last heroic thing, and his curse would end today, just as Apollo had foreseen.

He scribbled something and handed me the diary. The last word read: Promise.

I took a deep breath, and closed the book. “Yeah. I promise.”

In his last moments, Hal is full of dignity and hope. He finally finds the courage to stand up tall and proud of himself again. I feel it would be doing Hal a disservice to assume that, in those last moments, his renewed faith in his father was grounded in delusion rather than truth.

What was he trying to communicate to Luke in their last exchange? What did he think Luke could learn from his diary? What is the promise that he asked Luke to make? We’ll never know. Luke chooses to not tell us. 

Luke chooses to erase Hal’s last words to him from the narrative, and substitute his own. 

I couldn’t shake my grief.

Promise, Halcyon Green had written.

I promise, Hal, I thought. I will learn from your mistakes. If the gods ever treat me that badly, I will fight back.

There’s a lot to be said about the way Halcyon and Luke influence each other in opposite directions. About the way Halcyon’s death and Luke’s death mirror each other. About the way Halcyon’s relationship with Apollo mirrors Luke’s relationship with Hermes. I know @tsarinatorment has excellent thoughts re: this, and not only this, that I hope she will share.

But for now this is already long enough, and so to bring us back to my original point… No, the Halcyon story, taken as it is, does not gel with TOA at all. But once you dig just a little deeper under the surface of it… I’d dare say it becomes impossible to rule it out of canon, because it fits too well within canon. It fills in the narrative blanks left by Apollo, who never tells us the details of Zeus’ abuse, and therefore… never tells us about Hal. 

To tell us about Hal would require Apollo to admit that he had no choice. No good ones at least. It would require Apollo to admit that he’s not at fault. 

But how can he not be at fault? He literally did do this. It was his words that cursed his son. His hands that delivered the instruments of torture.

So Apollo doesn’t talk about Halcyon. But when he calls himself a terrible father, when he berates himself for his failures as a parent, as a person, as a god, you bet he’s holding himself responsible for Halcyon too.

And in this light it’s interesting, I think, to note that despite how Apollo feels re: prophecy there are no known present day children of Apollo who possess the power to look into the future. There’s only Octavian, who is a legacy, and whose gift is implied to have been passed down his family line, and perhaps Georgina, who is in all likelihood a legacy too, possibly even descended from a different branch of Octavian’s family.

We know from Hephaestus that sometimes gods can choose to suppress the transmission of a specific ability to their children. Hephaestus did it with fire, and I don’t think it’s farfetched to imagine Apollo would have chosen to do it with prophecy after Halcyon. Again I know Tsari has given this far more thought than I have, so I pass the metaphorical mic to her.

Finally, I want to talk about how this whole novella is basically a concentrated allegory of TOA, featuring Halcyon as a stand-in for Apollo himself. Forever trapped in his childhood home full of monsters who have stolen and perverted his voice, and that he can never escape because they are inextricably tied to him, and him to them. Punished for the crime of having a functioning moral compass and having chosen to follow it, and after years of death & tragedy that are framed as a direct result of that choice... he has almost completely internalized the idea that he might actually have been in the wrong. He's surrendered. He’s not only accepted the slaughter but has even become complicit in it. He’s become a monster himself.

And then we get Thalia & Luke who are a stand in for all the people Apollo bonds with on his journey, who give him hope again, who reaffirm his conviction that there IS, there HAS TO BE a better way, and reignite his will to fight. After all, he realizes, what does he have left to lose?

I turned my face to the sky. “If you want to punish me, Father, be my guest, but have the courage to hurt me directly, not my mortal companion. BE A MAN!”

To me this novella absolutely reads like a first outline of the TOA series that Rick might have later decided to flesh out and expand upon. The core themes, the central ideas are all in there.

But Halcyon can only find redemption through death. The narrative denies him the chance to survive and do better. He’s only a man, and for him the odds are impossible. He dies thinking that on some level he deserves it – he brought this on himself. He dies still thinking that maybe he was wrong to save that little girl's life.

I wonder if in the first draft of TOA Apollo was meant to die at the end like Halcyon did. In a way he did die, in fact. But he’s a god, and for a god no odds are impossible. So Apollo is reborn through the power that he finally allowed himself to reclaim, because he finally has learned to believe that he was right to want to use it. He was right to want to help people. He was right. He learns the lesson that Halcyon never could. He is afforded the opportunity to keep trying. 

#rrverse #trials of apollo #toa #toa meta #halcyon green #the diary of luke castellan

[peony-pearl]

Looking at what goes on with Azula, I feel like it’s been lost on how to actually appreciate a tragically written character. She and Zuko were each other’s narrative parallel; he started at the bottom while she was better than him in so many different ways. He ended up finding his way outside of the Fire Nation and his father’s expectations while she had been so caught up in their father’s favoritism, it held her back and she fell victim to Ozai’s manipulations.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t say Azula is one of the most impressive characters in animated media. But I can also say that the girl was doomed from the start.

It’s tragedy; Zuko started as a tragedy and discovered himself because he had someone who wanted to truly help him. Was Iroh a perfect father? No. But he did want to try to help his nephew, who had been tossed away when Iroh would have given anything to have Lu Ten back. They were two imperfect puzzle pieces that were able to help each other in their own way.

Azula, in having so much of Ozai’s favor, didn’t feel the way Zuko did, and if she ever did, she hid it. She was, after all, so much more talented and smarter than her older brother. She had everything, right?

Until Mai resisted. Then Ty Lee resisted. Then Ozai abandoned her. All of these different motives and intentions crashing down on her need for perfection.

Azula does, imo, deserve to have a chance to be seen as her own person. But to simply go straight to a black and white ‘redemption arc’/’rehabilitation’ sounds strange; like we’re expecting something of her that she wouldn’t even realize she needs to go through.

For Zuko, in the show, people weren’t just saying ‘oh we just need to make him better’; no, people avoided him when he was doing awful things, and his traumatized ass had to WORK for trust and compassion from those he’d hurt.

I think what gets forgotten is all of the different motives and mindsets of the characters when dealing with each other.

Azula being misused by Ozai goes unseen by herself and Zuko because it’s blanketed as love and admiration while Zuko gets half of his face barbecued.

Iroh doesn’t notice that Ozai has put so much pressure on her and is saying hurtful things because she is a potential danger to himself and to Zuko. Her first scene in the show is smiling at Zuko’s scarring, and then she comes to tell them she’s taking them home and is lying to Zuko about Ozai’s intentions, telling him that Ozai wants him home. This is something Zuko has desperately wanted not only for three years, but to hear Ozai wants him home at all?? For all of the verbal abuse he’s put on Zuko? Azula pries that wound open and wriggles her little salt-coated finger in it and smiles when Zuko laments that she lied to him.

To say that Azula deserved a breakdown?? Not something of that magnitude, especially seeing that it was brought on by the toxic mindset implanted by Ozai.

HOWEVER. Azula was still very much partially at the helm of continuing a century of war and devastating an entire world for the sake of her Nation having power over it.

If her friends rebellion and her father abandoning her didn’t happen, and they did end up besieging an entire world, would her status as a used child still matter after she would grow to be Iroh’s age? And she’s helping to strip the world of hope and peace for power, and now she’s sitting pretty on the bones of innocents? Regardless of how much blood she spilled personally, she could have very well have been the Fire Lord while Ozai was the Phoenix King as they controlled every inch of a world that was ravaged by them.

She would have benefited from her father’s and forefathers’ selfishness.

If it had been noted earlier that she was being used, and it was brought up to her, would she even believe them? Because to insinuate she wasn’t in full control of herself, a girl who is so powerful and clever? She’d skin you alive.

And yet she has no idea; and it’s invisible, because of all of the layers of her intelligence, and her loyalty to Ozai. Because she IS still a child, and is naive to how much stronger she is than Ozai in different ways, and yet, with his power, he would never let her know it. So he strings her along until it’s too late.

#atla meta #atla #Azula #Zuko #Iroh #Ozai #Azula is an amazing character and guess what #I like her and Zuko and Iroh because they're flawed and messed up and interesting #so PLEASE #stop stripping Azula of her characterization by making her flaws all about Ozai #or her brother or uncle #when she still did these awful things

[dootznbootz]

hoping against hope that the odypen situation in hades 2 is Not That. like idk, if I squint REAL hard I can convince myself that ody, as he was talking to Doom Incarnate abt his journey home, was in a “this is a god I have to play it Safe.” headspace or maybe he just. has built up this narrative—where he can’t admit it to himself, and wasn’t able to admit it to her, what really happened. Maybe he’s so deep in believing that, hey I know I’m a man and I couldn’t do anything against them.

But also I am a Man and so maybe I wanted it. Maybe I am Unfaithful. Maybe I don’t deserve Penelope and he spends the rest of his life in that state—and then they die, and he has to tell Penelope what happened bc he let her spend her living years with a man who wasn’t worthy how could he let her spend her eternity with him too?! and so he tells her the entire truth. Except it’s still not the entire truth he hasn’t confronted that yet and the separation with Penelope is “amicable” bc she Knows that there is more to the story—and she already waited near 20 years for him once. What’s a couple 20 more?

That's definitely a sweeter path! :D

It's just hard for me to even think of them separating honestly. And I have a bad feeling about it. I would love to be proven wrong but...idk. I just have a bad feeling with Odysseus' bad rep around people who just vaguely know the Odyssey. :'D

Honestly? I would just love for Penelope to simply be IN the game :'D I have an even worse feeling that they're not including her for whatever reason. (it's a bad one. Penelope will literally make anything better. She needs to be in all myths from now on actually. at the end of every Epic there is a footnote that just says "And Penelope was there" and it is immediately 1000% better. )

#Mad rambles #I hope you're somewhat right anon :'D #Maybe this is the game devs teasing us with a hoax??? to get us all fired up and then do a “GOTCHA” in the game and show the wifeman #he truly is??? #*sighs* #*kicks a rock dejectedly* #ask #anon #shot by odysseus

[reflectionsofacreator]

Steadily working my way through Blue Lions (I'm on chapter 7? Battle of Eagle and Lion) and got Felix and Sylvain's B support. At this rate I'm just convinced that they're dating each other even if they're involved with someone else. Packaged deal. Unfortunately Inseparable. JD and Chris from Scrubs typa situation.

I think the thing that makes it ring true for me though is that is not just bickering -- sure they do, a lot, but they're also genuine with each other and worry about their friendship (sometimes). Normally I don't really care for the "bicker like an old married couple" trope because a lot of the time there's barely any care underneath the bickering, but they ... actually do? It's rather refreshing.

That being said, Sylvain is. An interesting specimen. I keep thinking I like him and then he opens his fucking mouth and goes skirt chasing. And yet even that doesn't annoy me as much as it should because he's actually really honest and earnest about it? If he was just a sleezeball it'd be one thing, but he genuinely gets to know the hobbies and likes of the girls he chases after. His and Lysithea's C support was actually really cute, and I also was charmed by his C support with Annette.

But then his C support with Dedue has him go out of his way to show that he wants to be friends, despite the heavy scrutiny and discouragement that it would bring. I think it was also surprising to me because of House Gautier's position as a border protection house -- if any of the nobles were to have reservations about a "foreign element" it would make sense to have it be him, he was raised with the idea of protecting the kingdom. This redhaired idiot continually surprises me tbh.

Ashe is precious, and I want him to get all the kisses he deserves (especially after I forced him to land the killing blow on his father). On god he will be an assassin and I will make him a killing machine.

Mercedes is a character I was not expecting to like as much as I do, admittedly. Heavily religious characters are generally not written in ways that I find compelling, yet she continually surprises me. I think it's largely because she's very much following the actual morals of the Goddess rather than ... whatever the fuck Rhea is doing ... and sticking true to her beliefs. There's also the scant bits of her backstory so far, of being disowned from her house and forced to flee to live in a church, how her life was uprooted for the simple fact that her blood painted a target on her back. It's fascinating.

I poached Lysithea from Golden Deer and I love her to bits tbh. She's cute, and her desperation to be treated as a capable peer really resonates with me. I also appreciate that she's still visibly younger than the rest of them, in the way she acts and her stature, despite how hard she tries to appear mature. It's a careful balance that is hard to pull off, but I think she does it well so far. (Now if I only knew why she has two friggin crests I'd be satisfied. I'm not gonna like the answer I just know it.)

Dimitri... sighs. It's fascinating to go through White Clouds with the meta knowledge that he's going to go off the deep end, it lends a certain sense of tragedy and doom to him that I find really compelling. That being said, he's so naive, in a way that's almost artificial? He watched his father and entire court be killed when he was ~14, and yet he's desperate to stop the fighting and keep peace rather than gain revenge. He's painfully earnest in his questions to Byleth about why things can't just be solved with talking, why war and slaughter has to exist. And like, the thing is, he isn't wrong for asking those questions -- it's never wrong to wonder why the world cannot be a better place, and earnestness and a desire to do better is never misplaced.

Yet the narrative of Three Houses does not have room for an uncritical view of such things, it does not laud him for asking these questions, yet nor does it punish him for groping blindly about in the dark. If anything, his naivety is called into question by the other people who inhabit his world, making him beholden to their reactions and judgement for daring to be that way. It's fascinating how in a different type of narrative he would actually be almost a paragon of morals, yet 3H manages to walk a fine line of letting him ask these hard questions without fully condemning him -- it's just that the other people in this narrative do, and Dimitri does not exist in isolation. Sooner or later he'll have to answer for his views, and well. That won't go well.

... anyways Three Houses good. I'm enjoying it immensely.

#fe3h #blue lions #creator plays fe3h #this got away from me

[brasideios]

10 Characters/10 Fandoms/10 Tags

Thank you for thinking of me my dears @krankittoeleven & @ainulindaelynn

Lemme see. This is long, sorry about that. I’m in a rambling mood. These are just the characters that came wandering into my noodle in no order - at least, that was intended.

1. Dorothea from Middlemarch (by George Eliot). She’s probably my fave character ever. I think in a mostly abstract way, she’s come nearest to mapping out how I perceive the feminine part of myself. She starts out so so idealistic - wanting to do something to change the world, to matter, but society has its own rules that eventually beats her down, but she’s so stoic, enduring, and self-denying, that her happy ending is earned… but then the epilogue is so melancholy so was it happy? and… I don’t know. There’s something in it all that I’ve never found a better version of.

2. My brain is on D names now lol so Daphnae from AC Odyssey. The more I think about her story, as little as we’re given of it, the more I find something tragic and fated in it, and then there’s the possibility of changing that fate, or embracing it. Something, something doomed by the narrative, unless…?

3. Demosthenes from my pdfs lol listen - ancient history RPF is a fandom (apparently) so this is valid. I have been down some serious rabbit holes with this man of late - I won’t even start on why or this will be an essay. I could also have put Thucydides in this position - but I’m on D names.

4. Daria. No seriously. I loved this show when I was a teen, and she’s honestly my spirit animal. It was my nickname because I was unfortunately very much like that. I adore her deadpan, acerbic remarks and many of them will live on in my brain forevermore. I wasn’t as witty btw - but the vibes were the same.

5. Hedwyn from the vg Pyre (woot! My brain releases me from the letter D!). I’ve played it several times now, and he’s my fave. Just a sweet guy - so sweet, you always want to free him first, but then you also very much wanna keep him with you - and sometimes I’ve been selfish enough to send everyone else instead. I also like Volfred a lot but that has everything up do with the VA 🙈

6. Alfie from Peaky Blinders. I have no excuses - the character is an unhinged maniac but Tom Hardy just brought something (a twinkling eye) to the role that makes him a very likeable, back-stabbing psychopath.

7. Caesar from HBO Rome. Ciaran Hinds has been a fave of mine since Persuasion - and I liked how he acted this part / how he was written. That’s all I’ll ever say about Caesar - character or historical figure. There are at least another half a dozen characters in this series I might’ve mentioned too. I must rewatch it one of these days.

8. Gannicus from Starz Spartacus. Dustin Clare is an old time favourite from waaaay back when I was persuaded to watch McLeod’s Daughters - really bingeable but quite trashy Aussie TV - sorry to any fans - but it really is. I so enjoyed his vibes and he brings all of that to Gannicus and it just works so well for the character. Pure cheekiness, and when he does this face 🥺 chefs kiss. Side note - I will pretty regularly say some variation of ‘my cock rages on’ about the most random stuff so - thanks to this character for that gem lol.

9. Johnny Spit from the movie Gettin Square. Yeah this is left field and I seriously doubt there’s a fandom for it - but what a character - quintessentially Australian deadbeat, (played by David Wenham). There’s a courtroom scene that kills me every time. I hope he got square, for good this time.

10. Kenny from Mad Men. I don’t even know how to explain it, I just want to protect him and he doesn’t even deserve it, and he wouldn’t have thanked me for it - maybe it was just the way everyone else was just an asshole about his writing. I want to know more about the short story about the egg. I could’ve picked almost any other character from this show though. They’re all so good/bad for their own reasons.

I made it! Haha! I have no idea who to tag - I think the only people who usually join in have already been tagged - so I’ll just add a few and call it ten. Sorry for any double ups.

No pressure at all - @nemo-of-house-frye @theinkandthesea @liminalspacecowboah @cyrus-the-younger @myriath

#tag game #ten characters

[daphnedauphinoise]

how to stop being addicted to self help contents ?

This is a very valid question and something I struggled with until a while ago. The bottom line is you need to just go out and live life. If you are out living life, you are not mindlessly consuming self-help content. A lot of self-help content is bullshit. It really is just a way to be insecure about things that dont require any of that. I have found that you can't wean yourself off self-help, the promise of a better life is so sweet. Not as nearly as sweet as living a better life so in my opinion, it has to be a cold clean cut away from self-help. At some point you actually have do the routines you have made, check the check lists you have made and all those vision boards.

Why are you consuming self help? Usually it is one of these things:

Your life is shit and you have no clue on how to fix it

You are avoiding fixing your life because lets be honest, work is hard so you rather just keep searching for your magic fix

You are deeply afraid of moving past your shitty current situation because now you have gotten used to it and you do not think yourself as deserving of the life you want. You are scared of the brigh future you can have.

Believe it or not but all of these things are fixable. Those of you who are afraid of the good things in life need to do some soul searching and weed out the root of your misfortunes. If you are avoiding the hard work, then you are doomed. If you are group number one, I will come back to you.

One of my friends has a habit of telling us that anxiety is the stupidest man made concept and I used to look at her weirdly until I finally understood what she meant. She wasn't targeting those with diagnosed anxiety, our friend group knows first hand how delibatating anixety can be. What she means is a lot of our concepts we have about self, we come up with ourselves and those concepts are our downfall. I used to have this horrible notion that I was incapable and i was worth much, guess where my life was? Once I started respecting myself more and flipped that narrative my life has changed so much. Until a couple of months ago I used to go around saying ' i have such bad anxiety', it was an excuse as much as it was a justification. As soon as uni started again and I have been forced to interact, guess whose life has been better? I am not saying my social anxiety has gone but my mental health has improved dramatically. I no longer say I have that anxiety anymore eventhough I do, I dont let that hold me back. Just because I have it, I dont let myself become a victim to it. The things I thought I couldn't do, I do now; all it took was a new outlook and a new mindset. Things do get exponentially better when you actually leave your front door and tackle your problems head on. From my own experience, the more I have labeled myself as an 'anxious' person, the worse my anxiety has gotten. I did a chart and everything and I saw that there was a direct correlation to what I was perpetuating and then how I was feeling and then consequently acting.

Here is how self-help went wrong: people see self-help as the end goal. Making the visualisation board is not the end goal. Making a visualisation board is the start of your journey. I have a board right infront of me now and everyday I wakeup and I look at it and promise myself that I will do something today that will bring me one step closer to one of those pictures. A lot of people who are into manifesting hate actually doing the work but I need you remember Law of Action is literally a universal law. You cannot manifest a schoalarship, if you never apply. You won't meet your billionaire boo if you are at home day in day out. The time to start your journey to your dream life is actually right now! Literally RIGHT NOW. Stop giving yourself excuses and do that 10 minutes of whatever you need to do today. You need to be confrontational with yourself and you need to have self-discipline.

All the girls I know who have had shitty upbringings and me personally, are where we are because we dream hard and work hard. I have seen people leave the wildest pasts behind and move onto the bigger and better. From being abdandoned by her parents to golfing every week and currently she is planning her skiing getaway. I have seen people using their losing deck and win at life. They all work hard. Their work ethic and their dedication to their purpose is a commonality they all share.

daphne xox

#you ask for daphne's answers #advice #hypergamy #hypergamyblr