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#and i physically need this to happen damn it
l4zyb0n35 · 19 hours
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HOLD ME AGAIN
ANGST-FLUFF FIC
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PAIRING: Alastor x Reader
SUMMARY: Alastor has been neglecting you recently ever since a fight, and it gets to you.
WARNINGS: GN!reader (i think), usage of Y/N, Emotional Distress, Mental Health Issues, Self Harm but not physical, Depiction of strained communication, Intense emotional scenes, Brief mention of Physical discomfort, Subtle mention of codependency, really good writing skills, Overall angst but major fluff at the end because you will never see me write angst w/o fluff. Lmk if i missed anything.
NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Based off this post i posted an hour ago. Damn that means this was written in an hour.
Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!
WORDS: 1.4k
〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*・゚♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~
You and Alastor loved each other.
That’s how it all began, too.
the two of you meeting, and at first sight, when those feelings sprawled in your hearts at eye contact,
you guys knew there was a connection.
So, what was happening now?
Well, you were sitting in bed…spacing out into the bayou. You couldn’t sleep because there was a light on, and it usually bothered you whenever you were going to sleep.
You were tired from today though.
But you couldn’t ask Alastor to turn it off, as he kept it on to sit in bed and write his script.
“…Alastor…how long are you going to be…writing your script tonight?” You looked over at him.
Nothing.
He ignored your question. His pen stopped writing for a moment, but nothing more than that as he continued on seconds later.
You felt like a failure.
When did this all start?
Alastor has been ignoring you for a while now- well- i wouldn’t say ignoring you…no, you’ve been feeling useless around him for a while.
It started after you guys had a fight about safety and how you were scared to lose him.
That was the topic.
It was settled, you forgave each other, Although he didn’t seem to forgive you deep down, you just needed to hear it.
And then he just started acting like this.
You hate comparing your relationship from before to now.
Alastor would stay in his office with the light on until he was done so you would sleep.
You would always conversate with Alastor before laying down for slumber.
Alastor would always know whenever you were upset, he would keep hearing about it until you burst.
“Hey.”
You snapped out your thoughts. You turned to Alastor,
“Yeah?”
“…You okay? You just…” He looked at your cheek and then back to your eye contact, “Have a tear down your cheek.”
“…I don’t know-no, it’s nothing.” You stammered out.
“…okay.” He went back to writing.
…You couldn’t stay here.
Quickly, you got up from your bed and walked over to the bathroom, trying to keep your composure as you closed the door and locked it.
You turned off the light,
Laid in the tub,
and slept.
***
You woke up to knocking.
“Y/N? Are you in there?”
Alastor.
You quickly sat up from the tub, “Coming, coming.” You stood up in a haste, ignoring the dizziness in your vision from it, and quickly opened the door.
“You look like a mess.” He said, furrowing his brows.
“I’m surprised you noticed for once.” You snapped back in a mumble, shuffling past him and over to your wardrobe.
“…Y/N.” Alastor said, making you stop in your tracks. “What has gotten into you, lately? You’ve been acting so strange, and now you just show me no manners whatsoever.” He said, stepping into the bathroom. “I expect better from you.”
…That bitch.
You quickly threw something on, (of your choice),
Took Alastor’s pillow, a picnic blanket,
And went off into the bayou.
It was quiet after a moment of entering, which pleased you.
You couldn’t hear the sink running from Al’s daily routine, nor the bustling sounds of the hotel from outside the door.
Only crickets, water, and leaves rustling.
You knew where you were heading, as well.
Alastor used to take you out to picnics in a certain spot a lot.
Before the fight.
And you haven’t gone since.
***
The walk calmed you down enough to settle down into the spot without recalling memories and seeing at the same time.
You set the blanket down, anchoring it with some rocks so the wind wouldn’t blow it away, and sat down in your usual spot, hugging the pillow to your chest as you closed your eyes, and daydreamed.
You were at a picnic with Alastor.
You were eating his mother’s dishes.
You were gossiping about cannibal town drama.
You were dusting off each other’s clothes after chasing each other in the Bayou.
You remember how much bruises and cuts you got from that ridiculous game.
“Y/N? What has gotten into you?” Alastor said from behind you.
You turned around to look at him.
“What do you mean?”
He scoffed, “First the bathroom and now far into the bayou. You could’ve gotten lost.”
You felt guilty now. Great.
“…Maybe if you just leave me alone, you wouldn’t have to worry so much.” You mumbled into the pillow.
He put his hands on his hips, “Y/N, it’s been 11 hours since you left the room to here i guess, how could i not worry.”
11 hours?
Now you felt the intense hunger in your stomach, the weight of your eyelids begging to close, the stiffness of your back.
“…Probably because you haven’t in a while, I supposed.” You said truthfully.
“…You’re acting like a child Y/N.” He said, walking around the blanket to look at you.
“…Can we talk, Alastor?” You said, clutching the pillow tighter.
“I feel like that would be best, yes we may.” He said, setting his cane down and sitting across from you on the blanket.
“…Why do you hate me?” You said, looking into the small lake next to you.
“…Hate you? I could never, why do you say that?” He said, clearly offended.
You held back a sob, “You…you never have conversation with me anymore and w-whenever i start one you just…blow it off…” You tried to keep your tears in as you finished your sentence.
After a moment of deafening silence with the crickets to keep you company, you looked up.
Alastor was frowning.
“…I-I know that’s just one thing, b-but,” You took a deep, shaky breath, “You…you also never check on me you…used to always freak out whenever i was upset, always harass me until i told you what was wrong- but now w-whenever i don’t t-tell you…i don’t know…you j-just blow it off as well…” You squeezed your eyes shut.
“…Y/N…” Alastor called out to you.
You didn’t answer.
“…Y/N…” You felt something block the breeze next to you.
And then, something rubbing your shoulder.
That’s when the dam burst.
You let out a sob sob into his pillow, feeling the relief of releasing all those tears, those breaths, the lump in your throat disappearing.
You cried even more when you didn’t feel warmth on your shoulder anymore.
Or when the breeze was back to blowing on you.
But only for a moment.
“Y/N, it’s cold,” Alastor draped his coat over you, “…Y/N…?”
You looked up at him.
He looked scared.
“…I’m sorry for crying Alastor…I-I just couldn’t hold it in…”
“-No, no,” he cut you off, “No, hey, I want you to let it out, okay?” He sat in front of you, and held his arms out.
You only looked at him, pathetically.
“…Come here, Y/N.”
Another sob broke out as you quickly crawled into his lap, discarding the pillow stained with your tears.
“…I’m so sorry Y/N…I’m so sorry i let all of this happen. It was never…never meant to be this way.” He said with an ache in his voice.
You only cried more at that.
And he only rubbed more at that.
He rubbed your back as sobs racked through it, he kissed your head as aches raged in it, and he only held you tighter every time he felt like you were going to slip away, recalling the memories he never thought would bring them here.
“…Am i making you uncomfortable, Alastor.”
“…I’m just uncomfortable with myself right now, darling.”
You squeezed him tighter.
“…I’m sure you’re hungry, no?” He sighed, picking up his cane as he stood up with and exhausted you in his arms.
He tapped it once, and both the blanket and pillow were held between your bodies, his jacket back over his body as well.
“Let’s go get some left overs.”
***
As the two of you arrived back to your room, Alastor set you down into the bed, putting the blanket and pillow away, and then walked back over to you.
“I’m going to get you a meal, okay?” He picked up your hand and kissed the palm of it.
“Don’t um…forget to smile.” You said just below a whisper, “…You aren’t smiling.”
He smiled softly.
“I’ll be right back.”
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END NOTES: If you cried, HIT THAT LIKE BUTTON! If you didn’t cry, HIT THAT LIKE BUTTON! This fic is just pent up rage from a manga i just read that had no happy ending and my life in general , but that’s okay. I don’t have anything to say. Sorry it’s short xx
-Lynn Lazybones
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TAGLSIT: @deafsignifcantother (comment to be apart of it ^^)
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ingravinoveritas · 15 days
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I'm not a hardcore MS/DT person, but I fear I must share the dream I had with you.
Both Michael and David were on the Graham Norton Show and Michael was telling a story. They were in the same outfits from the episode with Chris Hemsworth except Chris wasn't there. I remember WORD FOR WORD what Michael said..
"What I did was the human equivalent of knotting." KNOTTING..?? "David came into my house and because he was travelling, I always feel the need to take care of travellers and *stutters*, y'know, so I laid him down and gave him a cuddle. Then we watered my plants and I just sort of.. ah- remember taking care of David in a lot of different ways."
Cue laughing at the innuendo.
Then, David leans over to Michael and flat out licks behind his ear. Like as a joke at first, kind of going blelele, but then the last one was so *sexual,* like a clean stripe from his neck to his ear with his hand on Michael's neck. Mind you, this is ON TELEVISION.. I can't stop thinking about it.
Oh my sweet-and-sour Jesus on a toaster strudel...THANK YOU for telling me about this dream! Haha. I love it. This seems so perfect, too, given that tonight was the Olivier Awards and both Michael and David were in attendance (though oddly never seen together).
So for those who may not know what "knotting" is, the origin of the term actually refers to a biological process that occurs in canine reproduction. In the realm of fanfiction, however, "knotting" falls under the heading of what is known as the Omegaverse (which I admittedly do not know much about, but if I had to describe it, if fan fiction genres are The Avengers, then the Omegaverse is the Jeremy Renner of fanfic). In the Omegaverse, however, you have what are known as "Alphas" and "omegas," and knotting is one of the sexual acts that tends to take place between these characters. (This post here has a handy dandy full-on explanation, if you're looking for more information.)
But I am just dying at the thought of Michael a) Knowing what knotting is (because of course he does); and b) Making an innuendo on television about doing that to David (because of course he would). I also can't tell if the "we watered my plants" is a euphemism or a Good Omens/Crowley reference, but either one feels entirely within the realm of possibility for something Michael would say on a chat show (especially Graham Norton).
And then the last part?? My god, we should all be so lucky as to actually see that happen. And given that we had David leaning over and doing this to Michael last summer, I really can't rule out the possibility. They were leaning into each other so much on the Graham Norton appearance, too, so that makes it even easier to imagine:
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(I also love that we've seen that David is one of the very few people Michael has let touch his neck, so there is no question he would trust him enough to let David do that on television...)
Oh, yes. This was certainly quite delicious (and hilarious), and I am so glad you shared it with me. Let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope for a forthcoming Michael/David appearance where at least some of this could maybe happen. Fingers crossed...
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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wingedcat13 · 10 days
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Siren Call: 3
[We’ve had past and present Minerva, but what about future?]
One day, Minerva will be familiar with the island’s crags and shelves. She’ll know the way the shore slope becomes a drop off and where the sandbars are, the color and density of all the coral, the migratory patterns of the species who pass by.
Today, she knows enough to avoid triggering the sensors. Even pauses to adjust one that’s started sagging out of place.
Minerva chooses not to walk up the beach, not wanting to track sand into the - house? Facility? Building? - not wanting to get sand caked to her feet and legs. Jumping straight up to the roof in a waterspout is also unnecessarily dramatic when there isn’t a fight to get to. So she just gathers herself, waits for a wave, and urges it a little higher, placing herself at its apex.
It gets her high enough that she can reach the railing of the overlooking balcony, with enough momentum to curl and tuck her body, cartwheeling over the rail partially just for the joy of motion. Even the smooth tiles feel rough compared to the water, strangely unyielding, and she wobbles just a little as she catches her bearings. Belatedly, she realizes she almost kicked the crap out of one of the balcony’s chairs. The little swerve she does is automatic. At least there wasn’t an audience-
“Minerva.” Says Synovus, sitting on the table because they’re deranged. There’s a surprised tilt to the end of her name, like half a question answering itself. They’re wearing civilian clothes again, and some part of Minerva’s mind can’t help noting that their arms are bare. “Welcome - back.”
One day, Minerva won’t scowl at them on reflex.
Today, she demands immediately, “Were you waiting for me?”
“Y-es?” Synovus hedges, not moving. “But also no? I was - I thought you’d be coming up from the shore.”
They sound almost abashed. But that’s too close to ‘embarrassed’ and Minerva is well aware that Synovus has no shame. She may have genuinely surprised them - they’re perched on the edge of the table, and had leaned away slightly. Synovus wanting to be a problem would have chosen a much more… blatant posture. Or at least to sit further back in the shadows. The absence of either a gaudy attention grabber or deliberate stealth indicated this middle ground was not an act. Or perhaps that’s what she’s meant to think.
One day, Minerva will not have to consciously pick aside the paranoia to see what is in front of her.
Today, it takes effort - but she does it.
With a sigh, she closes her eyes, and focuses on each part of her body, bringing herself down from the mild surge of adrenaline. One hand draws back the wet strands of her hair. The other removes the mask that was a gift. She leaves her eyes closed while she rubs the red marks out of her skin.
With her eyes closed, it’s easier to skip past the defensive retort, and say instead, “You could’ve at least had a coffee waiting for me.”
“I don’t actually know your preferences in that regard.” Synovus admits, and for a heartbeat Minerva is worried this will turn into a far too blunt conversation about homecomings, but - “Do you take it black? Iced? Green?”
Minerva scoffs, but it might have just been a laugh. Even she’s not sure. “White chocolate mocha.” She answers. “One shot espresso, oat milk.”
“Ah,” Synovus says, as Minerva opens her eyes. They seem to have had a revelation. “So that’s why Alexandria likes those Unicorn frappes so much. Hm. And here I usually go for the cider.”
A smile tugs at one corner of her mouth at the thought - Synovus, dread assassin, going to a coffee shop and ordering hot apple juice with whipped cream.
Minerva sets her mask on the table. “Stand up a minute.” She tells Synovus quietly, her voice nearly lost in the sound of the waves below.
“I don’t take direction well.” Synovus replies, even as they slide off the table and to their feet, turning to face her. There’s a caution to their movements, but also curiosity, written far more liberally across the unobscured face Minerva once never thought to see.
If Minerva meets their eyes too long, she’ll lose her nerve, so she winds up staring somewhere around Synovus’s collarbone instead. There’s a scar there, hidden for now by a high-necked top, and Minerva knows that because she put it there. It had been a targeted move: Synovus had broken her collarbone the fight before.
She wants to be better at giving back things other than pain.
“Just - give me a moment. Don’t move, please.” She’s pretty sure it’s the ‘please’ that gets them. Synovus goes so statue-still that Minerva’s not sure they’re blinking. But they don’t protest. And they certainly don’t move as Minerva steps forward.
And in one of the most awkward movements of her life, slides her arms around Synovus’s ribcage, setting her chin gently on their shoulder.
This is instantly easier when she no longer has to look at Synovus’s face. Well. When she can’t look. Can’t fixate on finding and parsing the smallest of expressions, assigning meaning to the specific tilt of a chin or speed of a blink. She’s still bad at it - hugging - because she usually just lets other people hug her, and initiating it is weird, but she can’t imagine Synovus is particularly good at it either.
After all, they’re still standing stock-still, and if Minerva wasn’t currently very aware of their breathing, she might even think they were panicking.
“Not a trap.” She mutters, and feels as much as hears Synovus’s responding huff. But their arms slowly, cautiously, hesitantly come up to return the embrace, hands resting lightly on her back. The side of Synovus’s head tips gently into hers.
One day, Minerva might not feel awkward about body contact and physical affection. One day, she may find herself as familiar with Synovus’s scars as she is her own. And she just might reach a point, eventually, where one of them could make a joke about this just being an excuse to get Synovus wet and not immediately both perish from the agony of an accidental allusion to arousal.
For today, this awkward embrace is enough.
———————————————————
Minerva probably won’t ever see a crowd as something other than a threat to be monitored.
Large groups have always made her tense, and that instinct had only gotten worse over the years. Most villains respect the ad hoc agreement about making an entrance, but there are a distinct few who would kill from a crowd. And there are those who are not villains in the distinct, identity sense, but would wreak havoc nonetheless.
So she scans the mall’s sheltered internal colonnade from behind her sunglasses, and listens to her daughter tell her about her day.
“- I just told him that I’d come from further South, and he didn’t ask me any more questions after that, but then freaking Brad asked me if I was an ‘illegal’ and I know what you mean now, about temptation to cram people into lockers. He’s lucky he’s so tall; I couldn’t fold him up to fit without taking some limbs off.”
Alexandria huffs, taking an aggressive pull from her milkshake. The stress of her life is getting to her - no teenager should have worry lines, or bags under their eyes that deep - but she insists this is what she wants. Even if Minerva sometimes wonders whether Alexandria sees herself as a member of the school’s attendees, or just a spectator who sometimes catches a stray ball.
“Did you tell Brad that?” Minerva asks mildly, mostly curious.
Alexandria sighs again, “No.” She says sullenly, shoulders slumping. “I asked him if he thought the government should determine who gets to live where, and then when he started to argue with me I told him I hoped his yacht sank with him on it.”
“Alexandria.” Minerva was still learning to find the right tone. The right amount of reproach, without exasperation or accusation. She must’ve gotten close, because Alexandria just lifts one hand in a ‘not me’ gesture.
“Specifically so he’d wash up in Mexico or Hawaii and get to be illegal himself.” She clarifies. “I don’t think that convinced anyone I wasn’t an immigrant, though. Til Seanna pointed out my grades in Spanish would probably be better.”
Minerva’s sigh is more restrained, but she points out, “There are other languages in South America. Brazilian Portuguese, for example.”
She’s not sure why she’s entertaining this, really.
“That’s true.” Alexandria ponders that for a moment, drinking more of her milkshake. “I mostly just meant to imply I was from one of the towns that got fu- uhhhh, screwed up by the power grabs.”
Minerva briefly leaves the conversation, remembering that shell of a place. The layouts, the dressings of a town, not quite abandoned yet but with nothing else to bleed.
Judging by the nudge she receives under the table, Alexandria isn’t totally oblivious to her distraction. She’s also changed the subject.
“So.” Alexandria is saying, drawing one syllable into three, “How are you and my godparent getting along?”
‘Godparent’ has become Alexandria’s favored way of referring to Synovus in public. It’s a joke on multiple levels, some of which Synovus seems to appreciate. But Minerva thinks it also makes them slightly uncomfortable, in a way they refuse to express to Alexandria.
“It’s fine.” Minerva replies, on rote. Her eyes flick to Alexandria, then back to the crowds. “What is it?”
“What do you mean, ‘what is it,’?”
“You wouldn’t have asked if you didn’t want something in particular.”
Alexandria’s mouth twists down, “Can I just get an answer without fishing for it, for once?”
Startled, Minerva looks at her again. Takes a better assessment of her daughter’s body language, the tension there. She knows she’s also gone tense.
Anger creeps into Alexandria’s voice, replacing the annoyance. “I’m not going to lose control. I’m not-“
She cuts herself off, abruptly looking away. Her fingers relax around the plastic cup, deliberately demonstrating that her strength won’t get away from her.
Minerva has a suspicion of how that sentence might have ended. I’m not like you and dad.
Reaching out physically feels like the wrong move here. So does stiffening up further and refusing to talk about it. Be better, she thinks to herself desperately, her mind flicking back to an image of a person with one foot in the water, one on dry land.
“We still… disagree, on some things. Some major things.” Minerva makes herself say. She still doesn’t like that Synovus kills people. She doesn’t like that Synovus has ostensibly killed for her, or for Alexandria. But she also feels relief that Synovus did, and a sense of gratitude she can’t quite smother. It makes her feel dirty, oily, and she hasn’t found it’s root.
Taking a breath, Minerva continues, “But… I don’t think they mean either of us harm.”
Alexandria has relaxed a little, absorbed by what Minerva’s saying. And probably having to pick through it for what she isn’t saying either.
“Would you say that you, I don’t know, maybe, trust them?” Alexandria prompts.
Minerva’s grimace is answer enough.
Alexandria sighs, “Mom.”
“It’s complicated, Alexandria.” She says, but it’s not the abrupt conversation-closer it would have once been. More… beseeching.
“Do you trust anyone?” Alexandria asks, “And like, I don’t even really mean me, here, but like. Anyone?”
Minerva remains silent.
“Do you trust yourself?” Alexandria asks, sounding a little alarmed.
Minerva hesitates - but she can’t really answer that one either.
They sit in silence for a few minutes, just the background roar of the mall’s crowds between them. Minerva hates this. She hates feeling like she can’t actually control herself, can’t master the emotional impulses she’s forcibly crammed into a box for years. She hates that Alexandria is having to pick up the conversation, make the overtures, do the work.
But any time she tries to think of a way to do it herself, her mind shies away from it. The words wilt and die in her throat. Because what if she gets it wrong?
What if she has more to lose?
Eventually, Alexandria looks at the melted remnants of her milkshake, and asks, “Can we stop at the Hot Topic before we leave.”
One day.
———————————
A week later, Rosie pokes her head into the common room Minerva’s reading in. “Minerva?”
She’d finally been asked point blank by one of them what she wanted to be called, because Athena no longer seemed accurate. Committing to Naiad hadn’t felt right either, so she’d given up her civilian name. Synovus already knew it, what was the point?
(It had occurred to her, later, that the small thrill she felt at being addressed by it was possibly what Alexandria felt at being addressed by her chosen name.)
(Also, it would’ve made Albion furious.)
“What is it?” Minerva asks now, letting one finger hold her place in the book as she sits up.
“There’s a fight drifting our way - Zephyr and a few others against the Eye. He’s made another floating platform again.” Rosie rolled her eyes, providing her professional opinion.
Minerva tilted her head, hesitating. Zephyr was a hero she’d worked with before, though they had never gotten along. He’d offered to take her flying, she’d taken that as flirting and shut it down, they’d never really overcome the resulting awkwardness. She had no idea who he’d be working with.
Eye, in contrast, was Eye in the Sky - a villain obsessed mostly with surveillance, and not being observed himself. He was a center point of several conspiracy theories involving the NRA, CIA, and a number of international organizations. She’d never fought him before, just heard the stories.
“What’s the protocol?” Minerva asks, rather than offer any of that information. She was certain this group of people knew far more about everyone involved anyway.
Rosie smiles, “Not much of one, just a lower alert status. Doll and I will make the rounds and check on everyone, Synovus is going to suit up just in case, but we won’t get involved unless territory agreements are breached.” She added, “Alexandria’s still on the mainland, we’ve made sure she knows to be suited if she makes her own way home.”
Minerva taps at the cover of her book, thinking. She feels adrift, still. This isn’t an actual fight, unless she wants to go and be Athena, and the idea of that is physically uncomfortable. It would also invite too many questions. Naiad would-
Hm. “Does Synovus want me in uniform?” She asks, sardonic.
“I didn’t ask and don’t plan to.” Rosie replies flippantly. “If they want you to do something, I imagine you’ll hear about it directly.”
Somehow, that isn’t the response she wants. “I don’t-“
“They also haven’t given any orders that you’re to be stopped.” Rosie points out, cutting her off. “The rest of us will be either in the operations room or up on the roof to watch. Klaxon if there’s trouble.”
She gave Minerva another smile, twiddled her fingers, and withdrew. Minerva shifted, and opened her book again.
She made it through two more paragraphs, then left it unceremoniously on the floor.
———————————-
On the roof, Synovus was pacing.
In a way, that’s reassuring, because even Minerva knew by now that if there was imminent danger, Synovus would be stock-still. The sun glints off the dark helmet, and threw the matte black of the rest of the suit into stark relief against the sandy-colored rooftop. Wind off the sea ripples through the cape, keeping it blown back, perpendicular to the path Synovus is walking.
The sun is kinder to Minerva’s costume, and there is no cape to blow. The dark mask helps keep her from being blinded by the sun. Athena wouldn’t be of much use here; Naiad might be.
Doll - the larger, Russian man who Minerva thought of as Synovus’s second in command - stood up here too, a viewfinder raised to cover his face. He’s looking into the direction of the wind, angled out and up, and Minerva follows that direction.
There it is - flashes of distant, shimmering silver in a cloud bank that’s thinning. Some masking device, most likely, now disabled. There’s tiny flashes of what must be powers or weaponry at use, but she can’t make out more than that.
“How bad is it?” She asks anyway, brisk and businesslike.
“The wind isn’t in our favor.” Doll comments. He’s always answered her as if she’s a coworker, and she appreciates that. “I can’t tell how much of it is powered and how much of it drifts. If there’s been damage to it -“ He lowers the viewfinder to make a hand gesture. “It might not be able to control its direction anymore.”
“Sloppy.” The comment is out of Minerva’s mouth before she can stop it. It draws Doll’s attention, if not Synovus’s. At the slightly raised eyebrow, she sighs and continues, “Disabling propulsion or navigation creates unnecessary risk to everyone involved. The only time it becomes necessary is when there’s weaponry that absolutely must be disabled, and you don’t have either the training or the time to sort out different power systems.”
Doll nods, offering her the viewfinder. “It could be self-inflicted,” he points out.
“Possible, but suicidal. That would require an exit strategy. Do you think Eye has one?”
“He’ll have three, only two of them will work, and none of them will be enough to keep him from getting captured.” Synovus breaks into the conversation abruptly, annoyed. Or perhaps professionally offended. “They’ll be personal craft.”
Meaning the rest of the platform’s crew would be left to die. Incentive for the heroes to try and rescue them rather than pursue, but what a waste.
The viewfinder lets Minerva get a better sense of the platform’s size, and also an estimate of its height and distance. She can make out a glimpse of a gray-shaded costume, diving through the clouds: Zephyr.
“If you interfere,” She asks, while her view is disconnected from her surroundings, “What would that look like?”
There’s a hesitation. A gust of wind snaps at Synovus’s cape. The distant battle continues.
“If they cross the boundaries, there must be consequences.” Synovus says reluctantly. “I will destroy the platform. Survivors will become my prisoners. If the heroes protest, I’ll fight them.”
Minerva lowers the viewfinder, and returns it to Doll. Synovus has stopped pacing. “You don’t have the facilities for a mass casualty event.”
“No.” Synovus agrees. “I don’t.”
————————————
Rosie has come out to join them on the roof by the time there’s significant change. The wind has died down some - likely a marker of Zephyr changing it, finally reaching their shores. The air feels thick and dead without it.
They’ve mostly stood in silence, watching. It feels longer than it has been, and Minerva knows it’ll be worse for those actually fighting. She’s surprised she hasn’t felt more of an urge to intervene.
Though she has been keeping watch for anyone falling to the water below.
It’s hard to say which of them notices first - their attention is collectively on the sky platform, and not each other. But there’s a decided tilt to the mostly-exposed metal monstrosity now, and in very short order, it begins to fall.
“Catch it.” Minerva finds herself murmuring. “Catch it. At least slow it-“
But no one does.
The platform hits the water at the full speed gained from a several thousand foot drop, slamming into the ocean. Those watching know that the metal will crumple on impact, water at that height and velocity worse than slamming into concrete. The surface area only makes it worse; tilted in at a slight angle, it displaces the water in a specific direction.
Towards the island.
Minerva had studied the ocean as much as she could. She knows this phenomena, and can cite times in the past it’s occurred. Not caused by the shifting of the ocean floor or tectonic plates, but by a sudden mass displacement.
They call it a super-tsunami.
Synovus is a statue beside her from the moment the platform starts to fall. Doll catches on once the surface of the water rises - and then doesn’t fall again.
“Three minutes.” Minerva calculates, based on distance and the probable speed of the wave. As many miles to cross. Much taller. “Evacuation?”
“The Jet is under repair, we can’t get it into the air in time.” Rosie answers, grim.
“Seals on the inner portions of the facility might hold, but we don’t know how long we’d be underwater.” Doll says, hitting the klaxon anyway. “The fridges?”
“Only as good as long as the power lasts.” Rosie replies. “Alexandria?”
“Still on the mainland.” Doll growls, running a hand through his hair. “Even if she could reach us in time, we’d have to get everyone onto the plane-“
Synovus has, so far, said nothing. Minerva is the only one close enough to catch when they choke out a strangled, “-fucking submarine -“
Minerva had expected Synovus to have a plan. A power, a strength, a defense mechanism. The realization that they don’t is like a fire’s been lit at the base of her spine.
She doesn’t remember grabbing Synovus’s collar, or dragging them to face her. She does remember saying, ��I can stop it.”
Synovus doesn’t hesitate. “What do you need?”
There is no questioning of if she’s sure, or recommendation that she go into the waves to ride it out. No suggestion of running.
“Get me in front of it.”
Immediately, Synovus has one arm under her knees, the other around her shoulders, and they’re running. Off the edge of the roof, not quite flying, flickers of shadow beneath their feet. Minerva doesn’t have time to question it, because her attention is on the big damn wave.
When she had said she could stop it, she had spoken with a bone-deep certainty. But she’d never actually tried to divert a tsunami before, let alone one of this size. The largest amount of water she’s worked with has always been as much as she needs to accomplish her goal, and nothing more. Diverting some rain-induced flooding is nothing compared to the power of the tides.
But she can feel the ocean beneath them, as Synovus clears the island’s coast. She can sense the oncoming wave, so fast to them, but to the ocean like a flinch in slow motion. The ocean doesn’t know how to control a fall.
But Minerva does.
The trick is in grasping the majority of the wave without over extending. She doesn’t need every droplet, every molecule, but she does need the vast majority of them.
It’s like trying to get a grip on something flat with only the pads of her fingers. It’s like misjudging a stair and finding herself both plummeting and ramming into an outside force. It’s like taking the first breath of rain-rich air in the early morning, and feeling life enter her lungs again.
Minerva twists the top back over itself, breaking the wave in the wrong direction. She cuts it down the middle, diverting it off to the sides. She forbids it to go forward, as though it’s met a cliff. And as the water falls, the wave collapsing, so does she.
It takes a brief second to put together that the body that had been holding her aloft is now limp, twisted slightly as though to put itself between her and the wave. Synovus is unresponsive, the shadows gone, only the cape whipping around them as they fall. Minerva is able to catch them, now, grabbing on before they can drift away.
She reaches for the water below them, calling it up to catch them with less than bone-breaking force. It’s easier, somehow, but also harder, and she’s having trouble fixing a direction in her mind for where the wave was and where the shore should be. Hot air, harsh wind, cool water and the dimming depths as they’re both drawn down.
And she remembers, finally, that Synovus can’t swim.
—————
The disorientation has mostly worn off by the time Synovus wakes up.
Minerva had managed to follow the upset currents, but hadn’t wanted to risk trying to shape and change them. Or to fight them overmuch, with her cargo. So they’d wound up washed not to shore, but to a small opening into one of the partial lava tubes at the island’s base.
Outside, saltwater rain is still falling, though it will stop soon. The ocean’s roar sounds, to her ears, slightly confused. The sun is still shining, and the wind has picked up again. ‘Calm’ is a subjective definition, but they’re approaching it.
Minerva had been relieved to find that Synovus’s helmet was intact, even with the impact to the water. She’d managed to find its clasps, and to remove it, making sure the seals had also held and that Synovus wasn’t drowning in their own personal fishbowl. They’re propped up against her legs, which are folded beneath her, and she’s prepared for a violent awakening.
But Synovus’s eyes blink open, and Minerva is able to watch their facial muscles work as they come to terms with their surroundings.
“You fainted.” Minerva informs them.
Synovus squints at her, but doesn’t immediately protest. They also don’t try to move much, other than a slight squirm that Minerva recognizes as a full body check. Do I still have my appendages? Do my fingers and toes all work?
“Yeah.” Synovus concedes. Their voice is raspy with saltwater, even though they didn’t get much of a chance to drown. This time.
Minerva should probably start somewhere else - like making certain they’re okay, or assuring them about the conditions outside, that the wave had been averted. Instead, she all but demands, “If you’re so terrified of water, why in the hells did you build on an island?”
She can see the balk in Synovus’s expression: a furrowing of their brow, a twitch of the nose. Synovus lifts a hand to consider covering their face, eyes the sand on their glove, and lowers it again.
“I already know you can’t swim.” Minerva says flatly.
“I can swim.” Synovus shoots back, annoyed. “I cannot swim well, there’s a difference.”
They sigh, and move to sit up. Minerva doesn’t stop them. She doesn’t expect an answer, at least not without further prompting, but Synovus continues:
“It’s… easier. The isolation. Clearly defined borders. This is mine, everyone else fuck off. And it…” Synovus shakes their head. “It serves its purpose.”
Once, Minerva would’ve accused them of grandstanding. Of the island being a show of wealth and status. She knows better now - knows that while that is true, there’s other reasons, layered beneath.
And she thinks about everything Synovus has ever told her about self control.
“It contains you.”
Synovus hesitates, partially grimacing, but nods. “Serves its purpose.” They repeat quietly.
The two of them sit in silence, in the dark shadow of the cave. They listen to the water, and the waves as they return to normal.
“Thank you.” Synovus says, into the silence.
“I don’t require thanks.”
“But I feel you deserve it, and it’s mine to give.”
“And if I don’t want it?”
“Refuse it. I will survive the disappointment.”
Minerva has the uncomfortable feeling that they are not discussing only gratitude. Rather than address that, or continue the discussion, she says instead: “I don’t know what I believe anymore.”
Synovus doesn’t reply. They tilt their head, studying her in the dark. Minerva’s dragged them into a cave and confronted them with truths after they passed out from fear doing something on her word, she should give them a break. She doesn’t.
“I should be out there looking for survivors, or recovering the dead. I don’t want to. I should’ve involved myself in the fight, reminded them to be careful of the platform’s vulnerabilities. I didn’t. I don’t feel guilt. I feel… annoyed. Angry. Because they should’ve known better.”
Synovus just turns a bit, to rest their back against a rock. “And that in turn makes you feel..?”
“Foolish. Arrogant. A bad hero, and a worse teacher. I should be patient. Forgiving.”
“They nearly killed you.” Synovus points out dryly. “You’re allowed to be angry about that.”
“And more would’ve died if the wave had reached the coast.” Minerva grits her teeth. “But that anger should be - I can’t control them. I cannot fix them. But I didn’t even try to intervene until it was almost too late.”
“But you did intervene.”
Minerva gestures, attempts to pinpoint the logic fruitless and frustrated. “Am I a hero or not?” She demands. “Do I act for others or only my own skin? I’ve spent years - decades - so sure of the answer but now -“
She raises her hands, half-fisting them in her hair. The sensation provides a little bit of grounding, enough of a distraction she doesn’t think about the words before she says them. “- now you make sense to me, and the things I thought I believed in enough to die for are - are hollow or gone or dead. And I let you kill them. I let you kill him.”
Abruptly, she draws her knees up, burying her face in them. “I let - I made - my child - our child -“
Minerva can’t tell if she’s crying or not. Her breath is coming in gasps, and her face feels hot, and this was always the part of weeping that she hated the most; the lack of control, the inability to communicate. Her eyes burn. So does the center of her chest, her stomach.
And Synovus is here, as her witness. Why not? They’ve seen every other ugly part of her, every other failure. She’s spent a good portion of her adult life fighting this person, exchanging scars, only for them to pick up the pieces and try to protect her. She’s finally had the upper hand, proven that she does have power, that Synovus now owes her in the brutal calculus of lives, and instead of reassuring her it’s broken her.
Because Synovus doesn’t trust themself either.
But Synovus trusts her.
“Do you wish I wouldn’t have killed Albion?” Synovus asks quietly.
The answer is as simple and certain as the water. “No.” She says honestly. “No I - I don’t.”
There’s a pause. Then, “Do you wish I would’ve killed you too?”
That answer isn’t as clear to find. “I - some days.” She says hoarsely. “I committed the same crimes.”
Synovus exhales, across from her, and it isn’t quite a sigh. “Alexandria feels differently.”
Minerva stops breathing.
Of all the answers Synovus could’ve given, that’s the one she can’t counter. She can’t afford to do this. To wallow in self recrimination. Her daughter is out there. And while maybe - maybe her morals are falling to pieces, and she doesn’t know who she is, but she knows that whoever she is loves Alexandria.
“Is it pathetic?” She asks Synovus, in the dark she can’t see through and Synovus can. “To need someone else to determine who I am. What I believe.”
She can hear the twist in Synovus’s expression as they reply, “That’s… inherently not a question I can answer. But, Minerva?” Synovus doesn’t hesitate, so much as pick their way across uncertain footing, “I don’t think you would’ve been able to turn back that wave if you weren’t… as much as you are.”
It’s clumsily phrased. Wavering and uncertain. But Minerva, whether because she’s reading what she wants to from it, or because it’s actually Synovus’s intention, understands.
She takes a deep breath. Then another. Then she stands, and offers a hand in Synovus’s general direction. Her voice is much more certain, calm, when she says, “I need to go organize a search party.”
——————
Minerva may not ever come to terms with her role in her ex-husband’s death, or the harm she caused her daughter. She might not ever find the rock-solid beliefs that she once thought she had.
But she might - just might - come to terms with that uncertainty. The ocean doesn’t have roots either.
She’ll have good days and bad days. She’ll need to make decisions about who she wants to become, and how she feels about who she is. But as both Naiad, and Minerva, she has that freedom.
She’ll never touch the Athena costume again.
And one day, while she’s working on a laptop in one of the common rooms, Synovus on one of the other couches and Alexandria sprawled on the floor, Minerva will say, “I have an idea. Something I’d like to do about the Pacific garbage patch.”
And Alexandria will roll over to look at her, and Synovus will glance up. And Minerva will add, “It’s not precisely legal.”
And Synovus will say, “I’m listening.”
——————————
[And so ends Siren Call! This took much longer than it’s other pieces, and there were things I debated including and things I wanted to cut, but in the end, this was the flow the story took. I’m not saying I’m *done* with Synovus and co, but I will say that I’m glad to have this chapter closed and tied off.]
[As per usual, a copy of this will go up on Ao3 soon, and I’ll find out how long it is, because I’ve once again written directly into tumblr drafts. It’s where the Synovus muse lives, apparently.]
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“Oh…it’s YOU.”
“Well, well, well…that’s certainly a way to greet an old friend…how’s Celine..?”
“YOU don’t need to know and don’t you dare call yourself that you viper, you lost that title years ago...”
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faggotslime · 2 months
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I started doing self help DBT and it's already making a significant improvement
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yeonban · 27 days
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Honestly tragic that Light went down the path he did in the 2nd half bc in the beginning Tobias would've really liked him. He wholeheartedly agrees that the only way to bring REAL "justice" is by making sure the perpetrator will never be able to do evil again, which will never be achievable through lawful means like incarceration (especially in cases where they're connected to a bigshot who can bail them out) so the only way to truly get rid of evil is, like Light figured, through kiIIing them all
#muse: tobias.#Ironically enough Tobias thinks Light isn't (wasn't) harsh enough in his 'judgements'. HE would've made sure they suffer WAY more#I think the biggest differences between Tobias and Light are that 1) Tobias doesn't view himself as a 'God' or anything of the sort;#though he doesn't hurt innocent people for fun or money like they do; he views himself as not THAT different from his enemies#I mean sure he's disgusted by 99% of them but he's aware he does many things the faint of heart would never be able to stand looking at too#2) Light does everything as if he's not involved. He sets out 'judgements' to people who are far away; through more indirect means#whereas Tobias is much more involved. He PERSONALLY sets time aside to deliver the payback to the people who are in high positions#Most of the time he makes sure their last ever conversation is w him. Sometimes their death is remote (but still horrible; i.e explosions)#other times it's by his hands in which case they Wish they could've died like that ^ instead bc his torture isn't Only physical#3) Light doesn't care who he has to discard; being willing to kiII even his closest allies who would never think of turning on him#whereas Tobias would Never abandon his true allies like that. He knows damn well how hard to get across they are and he treasures them#so he's willing to take heavy losses to save them if need be; and certainly won't ever discard them the way Light would#4) Tobias knows damn well that by doing what he's doing it means he's eventually going to end up dead like his enemies and he's fine w that#meanwhile Light seriously thought he would conquer the world; have nothing happen to him whatsoever; then die a peaceful death#I should write a proper meta on the similarities and differences between Light (+L) and Tobias sometime bc I keep thinking about them
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tealfruit · 7 days
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I'm just constantly on my bullshit these days. brain said fuck you feel everything and think about everything
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bitchfitch · 7 days
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somebody shoot me with a gun until I am dead before I write the first chapter of that pirate thing for like. Genuinely the eighth or ninth time.
#i have versions i like the vibes of#i have versions i like the pacing of#i have versions i like the writing of#i have not a single one that manages to hit even 2 out of those 3 criteria#Like. I think part of the issue is the setting is dreamy its soft and floaty and things arnt Right#but the first thing that happens is a guy loudly boasting about how much hes going to enjoy sexually assaulting his deuteragonist#hes lying. but Toi'uhla doesn't know that. The people ze is choosing to sacrifice zerself for dont know that.#the child whos experiencing the fear of death for the first time doesn't know hes bluffing either.#and the entire time theyre on a boat thats floating in empty nothing in a universe that has no stars left.#So much of making a tangible Threat like that hit is slowing for a moment and describing the ugly details of like#existing. as a physical person in a physical world. This horrible thing is happening and while it does the wind is messing up your hair#That sort of thing.#But there is no wind. there is no water. or rain. Toi'uhla's sense of smell is almost non existent. so ze cant think about the body oder#of that many people in that close of quarters.#And all while this is happening. i have to set up that these are two alien species with distinct cultures and Very different perspectives#on what is happening. Lordakai Senior is the one who lead the raid that killed Toi'uhla's sire and zer siblings.#But ze only knows the name Lordakai. bc for Zer it is completely reasonable to assume that the two Lordakai's are the same guy#Koita are long lived. Toi'uhla has never had reason to learn how to tell how old they are#Lordakai jr is absolutely riding on his dads name. but he doesn't know his dad was a privateer#So like. Theres a lot of shit happening in a weird setting#With two characters that need to Mesh while both putting up complete fronts.#and it needs to set up the stakes and themes for the rest of the damn story.#qnd its just a lot man. I love this project. i love these characters. but there's so many moving pieces bc theres had to be to make enough#Stuff to fill out the long spaces where they're just. on a pirate ship. being bored.#im probably over thinking this#blehgh
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hauntingblue · 1 month
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NAMI HAS TAKEN ACTION!!! LETSGOOOOO
#when is uta gonna physically fight luffy..... it's just a matter of time#shanks planning on coming back?? its been 84 years.... that probably was only said to makino bc he is trying to sway her.... girl run...#'that's our local sea beast' so he just hangs out??? well fuck me#luffy was just fucking around about the making a new era and look what happened.... apollo blessed him....#the sun god omg.... nika..... ahdahsaj i ws fucking around with that too HAJSHAJA#oh no shit he does actually come back.... i thought this was the same time... omg... THAT'S EVEN SKETCHIER!!!#thinking luffy wss just here alone depressed in foosha and ace was there alone depressed on the forest too...... 🥺🥺🥺#ohhhh little luffy....... like i know she is not dead but something happened..... what....#oh it might seem like she died... elegia destroyed bc of shanks??? what is that and tot music (sounds like catalan meaning all music to me)#beckman has haki too? like zoro........#SHE HAS BEEF WITH SHANKS?? SEE HOW HE IS SKETCHY!! WHATS WITH THAT FACE???#i need to make my evil shanks cosnpiracy board but that whill be implied on my other bigger conspiracy board i am sure#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1030#zeus got free... its namis turn...#usopp and nami being strong and brave for tama..... exactly.....#and so they meet again..... oh new break with momo.......#otama tamed big mom too omg ajdhajshaja prometheus saying she enters mom mode with kids under 10 AHDHAJSHAJ#no way big mom is turning on kaido for this.... SHE KNOWS RYUO TOO??? SHE IS NOT TOUCHING HIM OMG#goodbye page one... jesus.... now his sister..... damn#damn. wasnt expecting all that. now nami can take zeus either way hehe#episode 1031#when are we gonna get ad breaks for the rest of the crew.... we get it zoro and luffy are important.... okay....#sanji carrying zoro.... here we go....#PEROSPERO????? DIEEEE!!!! WHERE IS CARROT???#komachiyo..... TAMAA!!!!! usopp tells nami to take her and run.... NAH!!!! FUCK HER SHIT UP!!!!!!#nami finally fighting omg i have been waiting for this moment#episode 1032
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vvussyboy · 11 months
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To people whose natural reaction it is to get angry/irritated at something before they hear the whole story: shut the fuck up, you’re fucking annoying
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pepprs · 1 year
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feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable
#purrs#i had like 3 massive breakdowns at the end of the week incl one on friday when i was off. and then i was like ok. i am literally weak and sh#shaking from all of that let me just pretend none of it happened. and i did!!! i pretended so well that i have felt basicslly normal all#weekend. i played a lot of video games and i even went out twice.. once to a chorus concert on campus (which is big bc being on campus ummmm#is deeply agitating to me rn ♥️) and today to home depot w my family to wander around the plants and hear the birds. i am suppressing things#and i know i am but if i don’t think about thst i feel so normal. except now it’s 11:16 on a sunday night and i have work tomorrow. and i#know most of the horrors are over but there are still so many more fucking horrors ahead. saying goodbye to people i love and anniversaries#of things happening including today being the 4 year anniversary of a certain email lol. and i can FEEL the difference. the way my stomach#is in knots bc weekends are only so long (even long ones) and i can only hold back the horrors for a little while. it’s all temporary. augh.#i literally need like a whole month off i think. idk. work stuff has fucked up my mental health beyond belief this year and it’s so sad bc t#this is my dream job but im in so much mental pain and physical exhaustion constantly and they beget themselves and by the end of the week#im miserable. but the semester is about to end. but what if it doesn’t get better bc EVERY single god damn time we talk about how it’s gonna#get better it quite literally gets worse lol 💖 i can’t im not strong enough. coming up on 5 years here and im not fucking strong enough!#but i will heal eventually i think. i just need the horrors to cease for long enough for me to catch my breath (and other redacted things ♥️
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ratsketches · 2 years
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I enjoyed a lot of the new owl house episode and i had a feeling Flapjack would die at some point ever since that bird palisman got destroyed in hollow mind - although part of me does wish that Flapjack had been majorly injured like he was, but instead of sacrificing himself / merging with Hunter, it would have been really nice if both him and Hunter made it out
They both have heavy scars from what happened and they both took one hell of a beating from the fight, but they made it together in the end (and maybe Hunter could have even patched Flapjack up while learning how to carve palisman)
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tepli-mravenci · 9 months
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I'm gonna be honest, while I did ship Azi and Crowley in a fanon way I didn't actually want them to become a romantic couple, I was clinging onto that aroace platonic relationship with my nails and teeth for the entirety of season 2, but the drama loving bitch in me watched the entire finale with my mouth hanging wide open even after the credits rolled.
Me and my friend were both screaming "No no no no no!!!" when Ineffable bureaucracy was becoming canon, cause neither of us liked that ship (and we thought it was kinda too fast and out of nowhere), and then everything that happened after - we were just holding onto everything we could, barely breathing, praying that it won't actually happen and then THAT happened and we went CRAZY, cause neither of us actually EXPECTED that and then that followed and we were just flabbergasted completely but also we LOVED that it went BAD because we're EVIL
And now I feel like someone Caesar'd me in my own house
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thefall-mp3 · 9 months
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I can’t do it again. I did it with Castiel Supernatural but I cannot do with Crowley I really just can’t.
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ikyw-t · 2 years
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this is a moodboard for how my brain has been feeling the past couple weeks. yes i spent like 10 minutes organizing these pictures if that tells u anything about how im feeling
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#not that anyone asked but it's bc my adderall rx changed a month ago from extended release to short release#bc the extended release was making me feel super anxious in the afternoon when it would start to wear off#which is obviously counterproductive and i am already anxiety-inclined if that's even a phrase#so ive been on the short release version of adderall for the last month and overall it was going a lot better#the anxiety in the afternoon pretty much disappeared which was nice#the past like three weeks tho ive been dealing with being unable to stop picking at my skin and cuticles too#which is something ive struggled with since middle school in various degrees and tho it was getting better in the past couple years#ive never struggled with it LESS than i have since starting adderall in like march. and my god. what a joy and relief that was#so now that it's started happening again it's honestly pretty upsetting bc it's kinda physically painful and also just rly embarrassing#like i dont even have that bad acne probably but being unable to stop picking at it makes it like ten times worse#like i haven't had acne on my back in like three years since i finished taking accutane#and in the past three weeks i have but it's rly only bc i can't stop scratching at it and so there's gonna be scarring too#it's just very embarrassing and also disappointing nd disheartening since i was finally able to NOT have to deal with this for a few months#it's appalling and upsetting to realize that this was just my life for like a decade before i got treatment for adhd#and once i did it a lot of my impulsive and unconscious skin picking pretty much disappeared.#like damn bro the amount of times my mom and everyone in my family told me how nice my skin would be if i could just leave it alone. yeah.#anyway. im gonna talk to the doctor about this next month when i get my refill obviously bc i am not having a good time#even tho this was working rly great for the first three weeks. like whyyyy can't medicine just work. whyyy#anywayyyy if u read all this no u didnt bc it's embarrassing for me lol#i just felt the need to talk about it cause it's been upsetting me today
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