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#and i know it’s all jokes and almost always has to do with discussing characters from stuff or whatever
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While I'm at it both Colin and Pen are so brave and trusting of each other this season and it's a huge reason why the pacing works for me. This post from @dollypopup goes into detail about the kiss and the bravery it took for Penelope to ask and how important and meaningful it is for her ark (in a far better way than I can), but I think it can translate thought out a lot of what they both do. (Elaborating on this post.)
So much of their relationship is driven by an active want to continue, grow and improve it. They start talking again because Colin notices she's upset and makes the effort to follow her and see what's wrong, they make up after last season because, once again Colin makes the active choice to visit her, apologise, and agree to help her with what she wants. Because there is a baseline there, there is trust and friendship and respect already established from years of knowing each other and the last two seasons. He already values her and cares for her and so makes an effort to maintain their relationship. She trusts him and loves him and knows him well enough to see past this new act, and she accepts his help and apology readily.
Then their lessons happen because they make the effort the seek each other out, Colin actually listens to her about her insecurity and comfort and ranges for them to practise at the Bridgerton house because it was a safe, calm, stress free environment. And it worked, she opened up (as much as she ever dose lol) because he knows her already and she is comfortable enough around him to let her guard down and even let some of her true feelings out, even if unintentionally.
The kiss has already been discussed and said much better than I ever could lol, but it really really is so important. It's not chance or coincidence or force that kickstarts their relationship it's Pen. At one of her lowest moments It's Pen and her choice and her love and her trust and bravery in that moment to ask Colin what she wants and be open and vulnerable in a way she almost never allows herself to be, in a way woman as a whole are punished and looked down on and seen as lesser for doing (clearly, as seen by peoples reactions.) And she is reworded for her bravery by a beautiful, tender, blissful kiss. She wanted to be loved even for a moment and she so aching obviously was.
Then after that they take a break from each other for a little at least in the sense of spending time together, but they continue thinking about each other they entire time.
And in the end, even if it took some help from Violet, it's Colin's actions that lead to that ending. It's hope and bravery and love and desperation that led him storming into that ball half way through and interrupting dances and chasing carriages. It's bravery and vulnerability and trust in Pen, who has always been there for him, always been constant, always been patient and kind and steady, as well as love, that leads to him being able to give a confession like that and her feeling everything in equal parts for him that allows her to actually confess her feeling for him for the first time in the entire show.
Obviously all stories are driven by characters making choices, and outside influence definitely played a role in theirs, but so much of it was them both trusting each other and being brave enough to take a leap of faith and hope to be caught, and they always are. We (I) joke that they're stupid in love and down bad and absolutely unhinged feel loser behaviour abounds, because it's funny and true. But at the heart of it is so much care and unsaid words and bravery that in the end proves worth it because of who they are to each other and how much love is there.
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pearlpool · 2 months
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:/
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biggameplayertrentaa · 3 months
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III. Trippin', Fallin'
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“Girl, he ate your pussy for the back and YOU LEFT HIM?” Your best friend Nicole sits directly across from you, french manicured tips outlining the rim of her now empty mimosa cup. The two of you sat in a secluded corner of your favorite brunch spot. Every Friday morning, the two of you would meet and discuss a myriad of topics that ranged from work to menstrual problems. Today’s brunch topic of discussion: Jude.
“Do you mind lowering your voice when speaking about MY business in public? Thank you.” You simply retort, bringing your mimosa flute to your glossed lips before quickly downing the rest of the citrussy substances. You couldn’t help but sink in your chair as her words triggered the wakening of your already guilty conscience. Her summarization truly made your actions seem so…brutal. Brutality was never the intention, neither was hurting him; you were merely protecting yourself. You viewed the situation as his heart or yours, and a week ago, you had chosen yours.
“You are absolutely in the wrong.” Nicole’s tone mirrors that of a disappointed parent disciplining their school-age child. It made your skin burn and forced you to focus your attention to the crumbs on the cloth of the table. “You’re in the wrong and you need to apologize to him.”
You roll your eyes at this. “He’ll be fine; if anything it’ll encourage him to chill out.” You motion to your server, knowing that Nicole was going to hammer away at this situation until the two of you were blue in the face. You might as well be a little drunk for it.
“Why do you want him to chill out?” Her eyes are trained on you, even when the server comes back with two new mimosa flutes.
“Because we’re not ready to be in a serious relationship.”
“But you’re ready to see each other naked and touch genitals? Consistent logic, maam.”
“You don’t know him-”
Nicole raises a dismissive hand, silencing you. “But I know you and I know that your ex fucked you up and now you’re scared that every guy you come across will do the same.” You shrug, once again taking a rather large sip of your mimosa. Though you always considered the restaurant large, under the gaze of Nicole’s judgemental eye–coupled with her ability to quickly and accurately read you–the space felt stuffy and suffocating.
“Okay, Ms. Iyana Fix My Life, so what? I’m protecting myself.”
“No, you’re blocking potential blessings and hurting an innocent person in the process.”
“Equating a man to a blessing is very out of character of you. Are you sick?” You hope a joke will ease the tension and hopefully force your bestie to change the subject. After you left that morning, you did everything in your power to suppress every thought and feeling pertaining to Jude and that incredibly passionate night. It was difficult; you can’t even eat Chinese anymore without feeling sick with guilt.
Nonetheless, you do not regret it…At least that is what you have been deluding yourself into believing this past week.
“Friend, I love you. I think you are the most beautiful, intelligent, funniest woman I know and I am so sorry that you’re ex made you think you were anything less.” Nicole reaches for the hand that was not wrapped around your mimosa flute. You hesitantly allow her to take it, relaxing slightly when she squeezes it. “But from what you’ve told me about Jude, there are no similarities between how he has consistently treated you for six months and how your ex-boyfriend treated you.”
You open your mouth to challenge her, but no words form; your mind blanks as her words resonate. She was right. Jude was everything your ex wasn’t and more. And most importantly of all, he treated you with kindness, respect, and dignity. And yet, I still broke his heart, you think, a guilt and shame-infused knot not only forming but making its presence known in the pit of your stomach.
“What if I get hurt?” Your voice comes out in almost a whisper. You were embarrassed of your actions–ashamed. You were also scared as you could literally feel the thawing of your heart.
“What if you don’t?”
The simplicity of the statement did nothing to undermines it profoundness. *
The moment you get home from your brunch–slightly tipsy from all that you had downed during Nicole’s intervention–you immediately go to call Jude.“We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service…”
You pull your phone away from your ear before you can hear the harsh sound of the dial tone. You look at the device with furrowed brows and a slight gaped mouth. Did he fucking block me, you think, quickly going to call him back. Once again, you are immediately sent to voicemail. But it isn’t until your third try when the conclusion you had reached two phone calls ago finally settles in.
Jude blocked you.
Your hands are shaking slightly as your fingers dance over the instagram app, only to find, a few seconds later, that you were blocked there too.
“There’s truly a sassy man epidemic amongst us.” You quip out into the void, hoping your wit can save you from the weight of the realization of your actions.
It didn’t.
Your stomach sinks, the cocktailed feeling of immense guilt and shame envelops your body in a way that makes your skin burn and your head hurt. It was never your intention to become a villain, to treat Jude as cruelly as you did. Your heart ached as your mind taunts you with the thought of never speaking to him again. It was a thought you never had to grapple with before. Unbeknownst to you, Jude had interwoven himself so beautiful into the fabric of your life, that the undoing of it–his threaded presence–could be emotionally catastrophic for you.
Why are you realizing this now when it may be too late?
You shake the negative thought from your head, deciding this him blocking you was for the best; the apology that Jude deserved was meant to be done in person.
* Monday morning came slowly.
As you walked the short commute to The Ciudad, you gnaw at your bottom lip as you attempt to orchestrate an appropriate apology. The clouds were low and thick, greying the typically blue skies and chilling the Spanish air. Though you have on a coat, you are still shaking. You genuinely don’t think you’ve ever uttered the words I’m sorry to a man before; that was never your brand. Accountability was, though. So it, and your now definite feelings for Jude, kept you from cutting your losses and living silently with your guilt.
You’re at the training ground before you know it. You leave your belonging in your office, grabbing your camera, and making your way to the field. The air is unusually thick with humidity and the smell of freshly cut grass is consuming. Before you could think to make a comment to one of your coworkers about the weather, you and Jude suddenly lock eyes.
Your breath hitches slightly, body immediately warming as the two of you held eachother’s gaze intensely. He’s the first to break, averting his gaze to Kroos who was yapping away beside him. You see him clench his jaw and–thanks to the season–notice the slight flush to his cheeks. His cold disposition tints your own cheeks. 
 As the boys begin to warm-up, you start filming a few Instagram Reelz and TikToks. Jude is almost obnoxious in the way he is purposely avoiding you and the camera. Even going as far as ducking behind Vini (of all people) to dodge you. 
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry. 
Training seems to drag on forever. You are completely miserable, riddled with nerves and thoughts of him. It felt as if Ancelotti was almost tantalizing you the way he was conducting this session, slowing it down with his lectures and stories. Just as you were begin to suspect he was somehow doing it to purposely fuck with you, a low rumble, followed by a few raindroplets save you from your misery. It isn’t long before the light showers morph into something more intense, forcing Ancelotti to yell out his dismissal. 
You are one of the first to make it into the facility. 
You stand to the side, rising slightly on your tiptoes in hopes of catching Jude, desperate to quickly make amends and put an end to this entire ordeal. Your stomach immediately knots at the sight of him;  he’s trailing behind the managers with his head down and shoulders slumped. As he steps inside, eyes still glued to the ground, you intake a sharp breath before stepping directly in front of him. Jude stops, raising his gaze slightly with knitted brows. You go to speak, but before you can form a syllable, he is walking past you, bumping your shoulder lightly in the process. 
You’re in shock, sticky-glued to your spot–did he just? 
Rejection is bitter and nauseating; it makes the inside of your nose prickle and your throat lump with the urge to cry. The sound of the now harsh rain against the panes of the facility’s window forces you to gather yourself and ignore the little voice in your head reminding you of your pride. Your ego is bruised–severely, but you bury the bitter feeling and instead head to your manager’s office, excuses already formulating.
*
Because of the downpour–and your impatient, nervous disposition–the drive to Jude’s house seems a lot longer than it typically felt. Your mind is racing; you dance between possible apologies and thoughts of heavy doubt. Is it too late?
Was this the final straw?
His demeanor gave you the impression that it was…yet there was something preventing you from giving up. You weren’t sure if it was pure delusion or hope. When you get to his house, you immediately note the car in the driveway but refuse to dwell on it as you park along the curb. As you briskly trek the short distance to his front door, you’re silently praying that its he who answers it and not his mother. These silent pleads are echoing in your mind as you pressed a finger to the little bell.
It feels like an eternity when the door finally swings open. A small sigh leaves your parted lips as your eyes dance over Jude’s tense figure. He looks shocked at first, a similar sigh leaving his own lips as he instinctively reaches to shelter you from the weather. But just as fingers ghost over your arm, he stops himself, the hand falling limp beside him.
“What are you doing here?” Jude’s voice is hard and robotic. It makes you step back further into the rain.
“Why did you block me?” The words leave your mouth before you can garner the restraints to stop them. A deep crease forms in the space just above Jude’s furrowed brows as he clenches his jaw. He steps forward, closing the door softly behind him. Your chest is almost touching his now. You can feel the heat radiating off of him and the smell of his laundry detergent.
“Excuse me?”
“I didnt- I don’t know why I said that.” You stammer out. You see him roll his shoulders back, his tense posture relaxing just slightly. This encourages you. “What I meant to say was-” You suck in a large breath, heart hammering almost distractingly against your chest. Jude’s gaze is piercing and intense and you have half a mind to look away. Instead, you return a more soft and loving look.
“You scare me-” He quirks his head to this side, signaling his confusion. You shake your head in frustration, why is this so fucking hard?
“I mean how you make me feel scares me,” You begin to rush out, “and I can go on and on about why I did what I did, but none of it would be enough.” Jude’s gaze softens. Bolden, you lean into him. “I hurt you and I am so sorry.” Jude says nothing, but this doesn’t stop you from continuing.
“Jude, I love you, which is very scary and almost embarrassing, but I do. I love you and I want to be with you.”
His mouth falls open but no words are uttered. The Spanish showers are anything but light, making the coat clinging to your body feel incredibly heavy. For a moment the two of you stand there, staring wordlessly at each other. Your eyes eventually fall to your feet; Jude’s silence was deafening.
“Right,” You nod, a sad smile playing at your lips, “I get it. I meant everything I said, though.” You throw a final glance at Jude’s frozen figure before turning on your heel. The feeling of rejection weighed you down, slowing you as you made your way to your car. It’s indescribable and visceral—you don’t think you’ve ever felt this gutted before. Your shaking fingers wrap around your doorhandle, but just as you go to open it, a large, calloused hand wraps around your wrist.
It’s embarrassing how quickly you whip yourself around.
Jude take’s half a step closer to you, pressing you between your car and his chest. His eyes were soft, but the hurt and doubt they contained was still evident. For a moment, he searches your face as if he’s looking for something.
“You left me that night.” His voice is soft, barely audible over the pressured showers.
“I know. I am so sorry, baby.”
“How do I know you won’t do that again. I can’t–” He sighs deeply before continuing, voice noticeably shaking. “I don’t think I can stomach that feeling again, Y/N.” The look in his eyes forces you to reach forward and cup his cheek. You caress his stubble and rid its surface of raindrops in vain.
“You won’t have to.” You say earnestly. “Not with me. Not again. I’m all your’s, Jude.” Jude leans in, pressing his forehead to yours, his lids hooded. With his chest pressed to yours, you can feel the quick beating of his heart. The tempo relaxes you, warming and fuzzing your body. You snake your arms around his neck, raising yourself to your tiptoes as you nudge your nose against his. Jude breathes out a laugh that you mirror.
You lean in, hovering your lips against his for a brief moment before finally taking it upon yourself to close the distance between the two of you.
THE END
Author's final thots: y/n did all that just for Jude to take her back...city girls up! Also so sorry for dragging this out. To be frank, I'm just a lazy piece of shit.
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tac-the-unseen · 17 days
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How COD characters react to you admitting you've faked an Orgasm
Angst with minor fluff
Note: There are many reasons someone might fake an orgasm. Someone could not be in the mood anymore, feel uncomfortable in the environment, get tired, and several other reasons. That is what this fic is about, not about 'weak dick game'
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Ghost:
•When you dropped that bomb on him he froze. He didn't move, speak, or even blink. He just sat there, staring at you. His mind is racing. He always felt like a Shitty partner and he feels like this proves it.
•Once he found his ability to move he only took a breath. Then after a few seconds took your hand and looked into your eyes. You try to explain your reasoning but he still felt like shit.
•Finally he mutters softly "Why didn't you tell me?" He genuinely feels heart broken that he left you unsatisfied and you didn't voice it to him sooner.
•He sits down and has a long discussion about the why and how. He wants to know how to be a better partner and to make sure you're always comfortable telling him if you need more from him.
Soap:
•He thinks you're joking at first. He makes comments like "yeah right, totally." But once he finds out you're telling him the truth he freaks out.
•He grabs you and and almost crys. He feels like a bad partner and tries to come up with ideas on how to make sure you're alway satisfied with him.
•Sex becomes very different. He's constantly changing positions and asking if he's doing this right. Everytime you two get intimate he seems nervous and tries to solely focus on you.
Price:
•Stunned by the news. He stamers and look embarrassed. He stares at you like you grew wings and flew away. You can tell he's trying to keep his cool but it's not working.
•He buys you multiple gifts ranging from flowers to vibrators. While he does this you notice sex becoming less frequent and when you do have sex he seems less in it.
•When you ask about it he finally breaks down and cries. He says he feels like he can't satisfy you anymore. "What kind of boyfriend/fiance/Husband am I if you have to fake it just so you don't make me feel bad!?" After a talk he kinda gets over it but he doesn't like talking about it.
Alejandro:
•He also thinks your joking at first, but after you tell him you're not lying he stares at you. He starts to curse in both English and Spanish and gets upset. He throws a plate at the wall before slumping on the kitchen counter.
•"Why did you wait to tell me, mi amor!?" He says while not looking at you. When you explain he's quiet. After a while he asks how to make it up to you.
•You bet your ass he's going to pamper and worship you in anyway you please. Makes you promise to tell him and never fake an orgasm again.
Roach:
•He immediately hugged you and nuzzled into your neck. He let's you explain why you faked it and understands that it wasn't his fault. He thanks you for telling him and keeps close to you for the rest of the day.
•The next time you guys had sex he made sure you came several time. He has a little bit of doubt when it comes to his performance but over all just happy you told his so you could work it out together.
Gaz:
•Freezes up and after a minute he's leaves the room to be by himself for a while. He goes over every Sexual encounter he's had with you to try and figure out the when and why.
•Once he thinks he's got it he comes back to talk to you. He wants to know how to make sure you're satisfied. He seems to move on pretty quickly. But everytime you have sex he confirms with you that you at least orgasmed once.
König:
•He stares at you in shock like a deer in headlights before running aways. He hides in his room and has a anxiety attack. He feels like a horrible partner. All that runs through his head is the idea that you're going to leave him for someone that always satisfys you. It shatters his heart to know that he, at some point, neglected your needs.
•Once he calms down a bit he finds you and begs you to let him make it up. "I'll do anything, Schatz! Please I can be better!" You try and comfort him be he won't stop until you tell him what you want and/or need. It doesn't even have to be sexual related, just something to ease his mind.
Rudy:
•Is in denial. He doesn't want to hear it but you notice he takes more time to focus on your pleasure. Or at least, more than before.
•It secretly eats at him for weeks. This has never happened to him before. Then he starts to spiral. What if this wasn't the first time, just the first time someone's told him about it...he dies inside just a little.
Mace:
•He takes a second to soak in that information then he holds you tightly. He kisses you jaw and calmly asks if he can make up for those unsatisfactory nights.
•If/when you agree he gives you the best head of your life. He stays down there for what seems like hours. He checks in on you and apologizes every once in a while.
•After words once you two are ready you guys talk about proper ways you satisfy you and make sure you feel loved.
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monstersandmaw · 7 months
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Male dullahan x gn reader (sfw)
Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.
OH boy, this is a personal one for me on a number of levels (which usually means it's gonna tank), but here's the first of my five new commissions - this one is for the incredibly supportive and sweet @doomfisthero.
It features one of the Supernatural Biker Gang I mentioned in this post, which a lot of you seemed to like, so I hope you're keen to meet the cheeky, goofball dullahan with a heart of gold! Not gonna lie, I went way over the agreed wordcount for this one because it's the world I've already started building, and it's got characters I've already been thinking of for a while.
Content: gender neutral reader who experiences severe anxiety around being pranked/practical joked, which occurs at one point in the story. There’s no malicious intent or bullying behind the prank, and it gets discussed afterwards. The reader is a writer, doing research for a story about bikers, and has no idea that there's something a little 'extra' about this gang. Their friend, Adi, is dating one of them already, and I hope to write their story soon too.
Wordcount: 9216
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“God, this was such a stupid idea,” you muttered as you approached the only shop on that wide, empty side street. Its metal sign swung gently back and forth in a light, autumn breeze, displaying a full moon on a black background, with a cruiser-style motorbike silhouetted in front of it, and the white, artfully-distressed font underneath it read ‘Full Moon Motorcycles’.
A second later, your friend stepped out onto the pavement and you knew there was no turning back. Adrianne grinned at you, so you kicked your feet back into motion and closed the distance between you, offering her a small hug. Your leather messenger bag bumped against your hip with the movement, and you wondered if perhaps you should have left your notebook and stuff at home for this first time. It felt more like an interview than getting to know them, and you were worried the group of unfamiliar bikers might take offence that you essentially wanted to study them for your novel.
“Ready to meet the gang?” she laughed, sweeping her messy, dark blonde hair back out of her eyes. “God, you look terrified. Come on, they’re nice! Except maybe Pixie. Don’t mess with her, but she’s not here today. Or Demon, but even he’s ok when you get to know him, I swear.”
“Not helping, Adi,” you grumbled.
Ever since she’d started working for Dahlia Ink across town about six months ago, Adrianne had been hanging around with the group of bikers who all got their ink done there it seemed, and it had almost felt like serendipity in action when she’d told you about them over coffee last weekend. You didn’t tend to talk much about your writing, even with your friends, but you trusted Adi, and she’d always been supportive of your career as an author, so you’d shyly opened up to her about your latest idea for a story featuring a group of bikers. You did leave out the part where the bikers in your story were mostly vampires and werewolves, with a few other supernatural species thrown in as well. Fantasy had always been your comfort-genre, but people had snickered in the past and made you feel like it wasn’t a ‘serious’ genre that ‘serious’ writers pursued, so you’d omitted it this time while telling her about it.
“It’s the perfect excuse for you to come and finally meet Țepeș then!” she’d blurted excitedly into the foam of her cappuccino, her green-brown eyes going wide with excitement at the idea of including you in her group of new friends. They all had weird nicknames, and you had no idea if it was a ‘biker’ thing or just a ‘them’ thing, but you’d been burning up with curiosity about them ever since she’d first started dating the one called Țepeș. “I’ve been dying to find an excuse for you to come meet him. Plus you can ask him anything you want to know for your story, and — oh…”
Her face had fallen, and you’d frowned, heart dropping already. “What?”
“Eh, he’s… he’s not completely non-verbal, but Țepeș doesn’t exactly find talking easy. Maybe you could come to the shop and meet the rest of them instead though? I’m sure Pickle or Pumpkin would love to talk your ear off about their bikes…”
“I dunno, I don’t want to get in the way,” you’d said, trying not to let that tiny, kindling ember of hope in your chest wink out completely. “But if you wanted to ask them…?”
She’d run it past her boyfriend, and Țepeș had said he’d ask Hank. Hank, apparently, was the guy who ran the bike shop where they’d all met and first formed their group, and two nights later, you’d got a text in all caps from Adi saying ‘BASIC BIKER 101 FOR WRITERS IS ON!!!! When are you next free?!!!’
A week later, you and your messenger bag with notebook and pens had shown up outside Full Moon Motorcycles, with little clue what to expect, and a heart full of trepidation.
Adrianne giggled as she ushered you inside, and to your relief, you found there were only two other people inside instead of a shop full of strangers. An array of bikes for sale was lined up around the right hand side of the space, and against the back wall there was a wooden counter almost like a bar, where the vintage till and a few key chains were displayed, while the left side of the space appeared to be a more general spot for tinkering and hanging out. Even with the light flooding in through the two huge, picture windows on either side of the door, the lighting was soft, and the polished concrete floor created a mellow atmosphere. The scent of coffee and motor oil hung heavy in the air, and you found it oddly comforting as you soaked it all up.  
Behind the counter, a stocky man with greying, wavy hair that wasn’t quite long enough to tie back but was too long to look tidy smiled you and raised a meaty hand. His blue tartan shirt stretched precariously over a hearty paunch, and he exuded a jovial kind of warmth as his honey-brown eyes crinkled. “Hey there,” he said. “I’m Hank, though most people round here just call me Dad —”
“— he adopts literally everyone who walks through that door, so congrats on joining the family,” Adi laughed.
“Take your pick on names,” Hank chortled. “I understand you’re a writer…” He seemed interested and a little impressed, which was a bit of a confidence boost.
“Yeah,” you croaked and cleared your throat. “Yeah… uh… thank you for letting me hang out here for a bit. I don’t know anything about bikes… I’m just looking to learn a bit so it makes sense for my novel, you know? I’m not going to get in anyone’s way.”
“Oh, you’re fine,” he smiled, gesturing dismissively with his massive paw of a hand. “You just ask what you like and we’ll do our best to help you out. You must know Țepeș already if you’re Adi’s friend?”
You shook your head and Hank looked across the room to where the other person was lurking at the back of the space. You hadn’t noticed Adi leaving your side, but when you turned around, you found her standing with both hands pressed fondly against the chest of the tall, imposing biker dressed all in black and wearing his helmet too, which you thought was an odd choice. But what did you know about the habits of bikers? You were there to learn after all; learn and observe.
Adi waved you over, and you swallowed your nerves and cast Hank a farewell glance before approaching. When Adi stepped back, Țepeș pushed himself off the wall and held out his hand to you to shake. It, like the rest of him, was covered in leather or padded gear. There wasn’t a scrap of skin showing on him anywhere, and with your own face reflected in his black visor, it was impossible to get a read on him.
As if she’d read your mind, Adi smacked Țepeș in the chest with the back of her hand and said, “At least put your visor up, you big, intimidating doofus.”
He snorted a silent laugh and lifted the catch on his visor to reveal a sliver of pale skin and irises as black as the rest of his leather gear. Like Hank’s though, his eyes were kindly, and he closed them briefly as he inclined his head in a kind of apologetic bow. You shrugged, and he laughed breathily.
Hank chose that moment to come over, and you jumped as he clapped you on the shoulders. How a man built like a grizzly in autumn had moved so quietly was a mystery. “Come on, Țepeș, why don’t we give our new friend a demonstration of how a bike works? Since your Ducati is in, why don’t we use that?”
Țepeș gave a quick nod, and ducked away through the door that stood in the centre of the back wall, and a moment later, he pushed an absolute monster of a bike out into the empty space. He jutted his chin towards the front door, and Adi nipped over to open it for him, and when you frowned, she laughed. “That Streetfighter is so fucking loud,” she snorted. “You do not want him starting it up in here.”
“And nor do I!” Hank called, now mysteriously back behind the till though you hadn’t heard him leave. You made a mental note to weave something like that into your story for the supernatural biker characters, and then nodded, feeling sheepish, and followed the two of them out of the shop and onto the quiet side-street outside.
Until six months ago, Adi hadn’t known anything about bikes either, so she used your introductory tutorial as a kind of test for herself, interspersed with little glances up at Țepeș to check that she’d got it right. He either nodded or pointed to correct her, but he didn’t speak. She hadn’t been kidding about him being mostly non-verbal.
After Adi had shown you the basics of the bike’s anatomy, Țepeș patted the seat of the bike and gestured to her to get on it, but she laughed and shook her head. “No way, babe. I’m way too short.”
He put his fists comically on his hips and shook his head, then patted the seat again like he was trying to get a wilful cat up onto a chair.
She made a noise of protest, but did swing a leg over and then hoisted herself evenly into the seat, both legs dangling freely a good way off the ground.
“Happy now?” she shot at him and he nodded emphatically, bringing both hands to the sides of his helmet in a way that mimicked a person losing their mind over a cute kitten. “You’re lucky I love you, you overgrown dork,” she muttered. “Anyway,” she said, turning back to you. “Since this beast has made me get up here, I’m going to start his bike. Not so funny now that I could actually fuck it up, is it?” she grinned.
Țepeș remained perfectly still, and you got the impression it was a comical warning.
“I can’t flat-foot it,” she said to you, “So I’m gonna rest my left foot on the curb after I’ve flicked the kickstand up,” she said. “You can’t start most bikes with the kickstand still down.”
You noted that down, and let her get on with the rest of the sequence uninterrupted, which seemed a lot more complicated than you’d imagined.
Near the end of your tutorial on how to start a bike and the basics of clutch control, and the apparent struggle to find neutral, the sound of a number of approaching engines tore through the quiet afternoon. You looked back over your shoulder to see three sports bikes round the corner and make their way towards you.
The three riders couldn’t have been more different. The one you noticed first was riding a big, brash, bright orange bike that reminded you a bit of a sporty looking dirt bike, and he was wearing, of all things, a black and white cow onesie, with a cow helmet cover complete with fabric horns and ears.
“Fucking Pumpkin,” Adi laughed. “Honestly. I think you’ll love him.”
“Pumpkin?” you asked, wondering how on earth he’d got that name. Then again, Țepeș was a pretty unusual nickname. Perhaps he was a vampire under all that leather, shielding himself from the fury of the sun with his biker gear just so he could spend more time with his human lover during the day… You yanked your over-active imagination back into the present and out of your fantasy novel, and watched the trio of bikers approach down the quiet side street.
“Yeah, Pumpkin’s his name. It’s because he’s a —” Țepeș elbowed Adi in the ribs sharply enough that she had to grab the handlebars to stop herself toppling off his bike. Her eyes went wide and she instantly clicked her jaw shut.
As an author, you were used to watching and studying people, and noting your observations for later. Another writer you knew online had called it ‘cataloguing the everyday’, and it was an apt description. Adi had very nearly given away something huge about Pumpkin, and Țepeș had given her a silent but stern warning.
“Because he loves pranks, like on Halloween?” she finished a little too quickly. “He dresses up with silly helmet covers all the time and he likes to play jokes on people.”
Maybe he wasn’t your kind of person at all. The very idea of having a practical joke pulled on you was enough to make you feel sick and shaky all over. You'd always hated them, and they’d always left you feeling devastated and on-edge if they happened to you. The more you trusted the person, the worse it felt afterwards.
Țepeș’ huge hand landed carefully on your shoulder joint and you looked up to find him smiling reassuringly at you. At least, you thought he was smiling reassuringly. All you could see were his glinting black eyes that were creased at the corners, and the way the apples of his pale cheeks were slightly more squished than usual behind the padding in his helmet.
You tried out a smile of your own, and then realised that Adi was talking again.
“He’s such a goofball, but that’s got to be his craziest outfit yet! You should see his other helmet covers; they’re all bonkers. My favourite is the pink rabbit one.”
Țepeș nodded once in agreement and let go of your shoulder. You swayed a little at the loss, feeling untethered.
“The guy on the red Ducati is Demon, and the short one on the Ninja in the middle is Pickle.”
When the newcomers spotted the three of you standing around Țepeș’ bike, Pumpkin revved raucously, almost seeming to make his bike laugh with joy at the sight of you. Then he hauled it up into a massive wheelie, only dropping back down once he’d torn past you in a near-vertical pose. Your heart was in your mouth the whole time, but he looked relaxed and even amused behind that absurd costume as he landed it and swerved the bike around to make his way back towards you while the other two came over in a more sedate fashion. In fact, they were so sedate it reminded you of two sharks approaching, and your mouth went dry. Adi had said they were cool with you being there and asking questions, but just then, it didn’t really feel like it.
The one riding the lurid, neon green bike was so short that you wondered for a crazy second if maybe they were a child. The owner of the red bike revved his something wicked as he cruised to a stop, and you had to fight the urge to step back. It felt like being roared at full in the face by a lion, and it didn’t help at all that the guy had curling ram’s horns adorning his black helmet. Even though it was a nippy autumn day, he was wearing a white t-shirt that showed off a golden tan and a truly impressive physique, and his black jeans had a rip in the knee that added to his tough-guy appearance.
Standing beside his own bike, Țepeș folded his arms and jutted his chin in a warning. Demon revved his deafening bike once more though, and the back wheel skimmed from side to side on the tarmac as blue smoke churned up into the air.
Țepeș shook his head and a few seconds later, Demon stopped his mini burnout, and instead leaned forwards on the bike, resting one arm casually on the tank. His whole attention was fixed on you and you tried hard not to regret all of this. It was research. You were here for your story. It was fine. His visor was tinted like Țepeș’ was, but you could feel the intensity of his gaze through the plastic just as clearly as if there had been nothing blocking his eyes from yours.
“Just giving a welcome to your new friend, Țepeș,” the guy purred in a silky baritone that made you think of teeth in the dark.
As the brief puff of acrid smoke from his tyres cleared, the short rider flipped their visor up and regarded you with beady, golden eyes that had to be contacts, surely? Even the pupils were slitted like a cat’s. 
“Who’s this?” came a reedy, tenor voice from under the helmet. Definitely not a child after all, and their skin had a strange, greenish tinge to it that you initially took to be makeup until you realised it went all the way down their cheeks as well. Tattoos? Some kind of condition? You tried not to stare.
Before either you or Adi could respond to their question, the cow onesie rider screeched to a comical halt beside the other two, locking up the front wheel and making the rear of his bike kick up like a bronco, and Adi shook her head. “Pumpkin, honestly. What are you like?”
“I’m Legen-dairy!” he grinned, gesturing wide with both hands. “Oh, hey! New friend?!” he exclaimed, waving enthusiastically when he saw you standing awkwardly beside Țepeș’ bike. He had a lilting Irish accent and a playful intonation that warmed you to him immediately, despite knowing about his penchant for practical jokes.
“Don’t mind Pumpkin,” Adi smiled at you. “He’s… something else.”
“I’m highly a-moo-sing, is what I am,” the guy chuckled. His words sounded clearer than the others behind their helmets, and you wondered if it was something about the design that made it easier to hear him.
“Oh god, please stop with the cow puns,” Pickle groaned, casting him a withering look with those unusual eyes.
“But Pickle, I’m udderly fantastic!”
“Stop.”
“This is just plain bull-ying!” Pumpkin whined, and then he started to bop up and down on his bike as he sang, “My milkshake brings—”
“If you howl one more out of tune word, Demon will eat you for breakfast, and not in a fun way,” Pickle said, casting a glance at the biker with the horns on his helmet.
For answer, the biker in question cocked his head just a little to one side, and Pumpkin slumped in his seat, arms and legs dangling comically, head lolling forwards so that the soft horns on his helmet cover flopped. He let out a long, sad mooing noise sound that dissolved into giggles at the end, and Pickle punched him on the arm.
“Loser,” Pickle snorted with obvious fondness.
“Anyway, I want you to meet my friend,” Adi cut in, turning to you. “I’m sorry you had to meet Pumpkin when he’s in this mood, but —”
“Moo-d!” Pumpkin interrupted triumphantly and immediately burst out laughing. He almost tipped backwards off his big, orange bike. Even you managed to crack a shy smile at that one. It was infectious.
“I give up,” Pickle said, and hopped down off his green Kawasaki, disappearing into the shop without a backward glance just as Hank stepped out.
“How’s that lesson going?” he asked you.
“I’m not planning on riding solo any time soon,” you smiled, “But I’ve got enough of an idea of how things work to start writing, I think.”
Hank nodded and, glancing around at Pumpkin who was still bouncing up and down and making his suspension creak a little, said, “Ah, they’re all idiots, but they’re kind, and they’re my idiots.”
He introduced you by name, and told Pumpkin and Demon why you were there. Pumpkin seemed intrigued, tilting his head to one side and calming his crazy energy a little as he regarded you through the tinted visor, but Demon growled softly as he pushed himself upright again and folded his arms across his ripped chest, muttering something about letting their guard down again.
Țepeș moved away from his bike, petting the back of Adi’s blonde head in a fond, distracted gesture, and then signalled for Demon to follow him inside, which, to your surprise, the big guy did. He walked like a Greek god — like he owned the place and not Hank — but it was clear that he had respect for Țepeș.
Pumpkin took advantage of their absence and leaned a little way off his bike towards you. “So, you’re a writer? That’s pretty cool. And you’re writing a… a book? A story? About bikers?”
You nodded. “Yeah. It’s not the main focus, but it’s a big part of it.” If you hadn’t wanted to open up to Adi about it being a supernatural fantasy story, you sure as heck weren’t going to admit it to a bunch of intimidating, high-octane bikers. “It was Adi who suggested I come and learn a bit more about it all from you guys though…” you said, not wanting them to think you’d just inserted yourself into their group without invitation. Especially given Demon’s weird reaction.
“Awesome,” Pumpkin said, fist-bumping Adi then turning back to you. “You gonna ride with us? We’re all heading out in a bit so you should come too!”
“I… maybe?” you faltered. That had not been on the cards for the day, but the more you thought about it, the more your heart began to race.
“The KTM has a passenger seat,” Pumpkin said, gesturing behind him and patting his pillion seat. “You can be my backpack if you like! I promise I won’t wheelie. I’m not taking the onesie off though,” he added, mooing and shaking his head so that the fabric horns waggled comically.
His energy and enthusiasm really were infectious. He bounced up and down again like an excitable, cow-print puppy, and you bit your lip. The idea of holding onto him, of being perched on the back of his mad, orange bike, was oddly… enticing. Even with his embarrassing costume.
“Come on,” he said. “It’ll be fun! It’s only a short ride because Coco’s Honda’s playing up for some reason,” he added. “Is she here yet? I don’t see her little bumblebee…”
“Bumblebee?” you asked.
“Coco’s bike is a Honda Hornet,” Adi supplied. “She’s got these little antennae for her helmet too. It’s so cute. And no,” she added to Pumpkin. “You guys are the first.”
It didn’t take long for the rest of the day’s riders to arrive, and soon you watched a screaming pink bike roll up, with its rider wearing baby pink leathers and a pink helmet. Her name was Barbie, appropriately enough, and a few minutes later, a skinny guy in all black leathers with a black helmet bearing a decal like a maw full of teeth pulled up, alongside Coco on her black and yellow Honda Hornet that looked very much like the Transformer.
“I see why you call it Bumblebee,” you said to Adi, who was standing on the pavement with you, chatting and slipping you random bits of information about both the bikes and the bikers. The others had all gone inside, leaving you with Adi still casually sitting astride her boyfriend’s enormous, black Ducati Streetfighter outside in the sunshine, and honestly it was nice to catch your breath and let your heart rate settle again.
Pumpkin, apparently, was only a few years older than you, and he had moved to the city to get away from his family and their career expectations for him. His name was actually Callahan, or Cal, but literally everyone called him Pumpkin.
Pickle was non-binary and surprisingly a full decade older than you. They lived with their mother, who needed a bit of extra care these days, and had taken up riding only a year or so ago. Demon, Adi didn’t discuss at all, and she said little about Barbie other than that she kept herself to herself a lot and was pretty shy.
Coco came out to soak up some autumn sunshine a while later, and was one of the only bikers who actually took off her helmet. Beneath it, she had thick, wavy, chocolate brown hair and brown eyes that made you want to drown in them, and a smile so pretty it made your heart skip several beats. She gave off the kind of energy that made you feel safe and relaxed, and you let out a long, slow exhale, feeling the sun wash up over your skin.
That peace lasted until Demon stormed out of the shop, followed by Pumpkin, Țepeș, and Pickle.
“Everything ok?” Adi whispered to Țepeș when he came over and hugged her tightly from behind before passing her a spare helmet. He nodded and jerked his thumb towards his bike. “Yeah, I’m good to go. You coming?” she asked you, and you found yourself nodding before you’d even realised.
“Yes!” Pumpkin bayed in triumph and you startled, not having heard him return to his bike. “You’re mine! I claim you. You’re my backpack!”
“Like anyone else wants a human for baggage,” Demon muttered so quietly you weren’t sure you were supposed to have heard it. As he passed, he slammed his visor back down and you could have sworn that he’d had completely scarlet eyes. You wondered if you were losing your mind a little bit, or if the fantasy of your novel was beginning to bleed into the real world through your over-active imagination.  
Pumpkin practically vaulted back up onto his orange bike and he held out his hand to you. “Alright! My precious and beautiful backpack,” he said, “Hop on!”
Easier said than done, you thought, ignoring the compliment. You watched your reflection distort in his visor as he turned his head when you faltered anxiously.
“I’ll look after you, I promise. But I’m gonna rely on you to tell me if Pickle’s coming for my killswitch, ok?”
Recalling your brief lesson with Țepeș, you eyed the red switch on his right handlebar and said, “That?”
“Yeah, that. Protect it at all costs,” he giggled. “I mean, not all costs, obviously but… Actually, scratch that. It’s Ninja you wanna watch out for. He’s a sneaky, sneaky boy. He blends in so no one sees him coming…” A few of them laughed in a way that made you feel like there was more to it than just an inside joke, and your stomach churned.
A glance back at the skinny guy on the black bike behind you revealed Ninja tilting his hands outwards in a ‘who, me?’ kind of gesture. Hank came over and gave you a helmet, taking your messenger bag from you and promising to keep it safe behind the counter. You slid the helmet on and buckled it up, trying not to feel like an impostor.
Getting aboard wasn’t as hard as you’d thought it was going to be, with brief instruction from Adi and Pumpkin on how to put your feet on the pegs, though you did clunk your helmet against Pumpkin’s when you leaned too far forward, but he made things easier by telling you to hold him round the waist. He turned back over one shoulder and said, “It’s kinda forward, but I don’t mind. You’re cute and I don’t want you falling off.” He had such a lovely voice — warm and rich and reassuring — and you found yourself laughing softly.
“If you say so.”
Pumpkin talked a mile a minute and you really had to work to process everything he was saying as it tumbled out of him in a wild, happy torrent. “You are cute! You’re gonna have a blast today. I can’t believe I’m your first! Oh, and watch out for silly string too. I don’t think Pickle has any in their pocket today, but last time they got me good and it was all over my helmet and my orange baby,” he added petting the tank of his bike.
Your heart lurched at the idea of these pranks maybe escalating, and you tried to swallow down the nausea; you did not want to be sick in a motorcycle helmet. The cold sweat took a while to evaporate and you were sure Pumpkin would feel your heartbeat as you clung onto him before he’d even started the bike. The cow onesie did add a little levity though, and you tried not to feel too silly.
When Adi was safely aboard Țepeș’ bike, Țepeș revved his readiness a few times from the rear of the group, and Pumpkin nodded. “Forward!” he yelled, pointing like he was leading a cavalry charge as he nudged up his kickstand and prepared to draw away.
Adi had been right.
The ride was amazing.
Terrifying, exhilarating, wonderful, and, in the strangest way possible, it made you forget everything.
All you could focus on was the way Pumpkin moved with the bike like it was a part of him — almost like a rider and his horse — and on trying to move with him as he leaned into the corners. He was slim and fit beneath your grip, and he didn’t seem to be wearing any kind of padding under the onesie, but he was wearing biker boots instead of ordinary shoes. There was something alluring about the fact you’d not seen his face and he’d not taken his helmet off. Țepeș had a similar vibe, but it was Pumpkin and his wild, silly energy you found yourself drawn to. It was almost euphoric to be able to press the front of your body against this kind, funny stranger’s back and let him sweep you along the roads.
Of course, there were shenanigans at the first red light you came to.
Pickle came for Pumpkin’s killswitch immediately — almost like they were testing you — but you tapped Pumpkin on the shoulder when you saw Pickle stalking up the line of bikes. Ninja covered his killswitch and waggled a finger at Pickle, and when Pumpkin saw who was coming, he patted your thigh a few times. “Nice one,” he said with a grin evident in his voice. “Best early warning system and best backpack ever! You can ride with me every time!”
You glowed with pride, even though you knew it was probably only fun and games, and when Pickle failed to catch Pumpkin’s killswitch and the lights changed, you laughed with the rest of them as Pickle bolted back to their Ninja and hopped comically onto it at the very last second while Pumpkin sped away fast enough to make you yelp and grip him hard around the middle. You felt him laugh and held him tighter.
He petted your hands where they were laced securely in front of him, and even though you didn’t have comms in your helmet, you got the message: ‘I’ve got you’. You did feel safe with him despite his love of pranks, and you were literally trusting him with your life as you rode behind him.
When the ride came to an end about an hour later, and the group drew to a halt at Full Moon Motorcycles again, you were shaky with the aftereffects of adrenaline and from simply holding on, but beneath your helmet, you were grinning wildly. Secretly, you already couldn’t wait for the next ride and prayed he would ask you again.
Pickle pulled their bike up on your right, the green Ninja 400 idling gently, and when they killswitched Pumpkin’s bike at last, Pumpkin guffawed, but without missing a beat he extended his right leg and tapped the gear lever down to put Pickle’s bike into first, making the bike stall and lurch forwards.
“Gotcha!” he crowed, and then helped you off the back by letting you steady yourself on his shoulders. “And for the pièce de résistance,” he said, fishing in the pouch of his onesie, and he turned something cylindrical in your direction. “I was saving this for Pickle, but since it’s your first ride, you deserve a decent celebration!”
With a loud bang and a flurry of coloured squares of paper, a confetti cannon went off in your face and you screeched in shock, tripping over your heels and landing hard on the pavement behind you. The pieces of paper fluttered down around you while panic and fear and everything you hated about being pranked exploded out of you. Your heartbeat went through the roof. You just glimpsed the horns of Demon’s helmet in the doorway to the shop, and your heart dropped when you saw he was laughing.
Pumpkin was laughing too, and pointing, and beside him Pickle clapped their gloved hands and crooned, “Oh man, he got you good!”
He had got you good, and you hated it.
You hated that it was just a silly, harmless prank, but you were reacting like he’d done something serious. You hated that you couldn’t just laugh it off the way they all did. You hated that you took it so seriously; that it felt like the worst kind of betrayal of that fragile trust you’d started to put in a stranger. And then, behind the visor of your helmet, the tears began to flow uncontrollably.
A huge figure appeared in your blurred vision and you looked up to find Țepeș kneeling down beside you. He blocked the others from your sight with his massive body, and he lifted his visor to show his black eyes full of concern.
You nodded, trying to pull yourself together and grateful beyond belief that the helmet was still covering your face, even though it felt like you were running out of oxygen in there. Pulling yourself together was like trying to hold a bag full of sand with fraying seams. You were seeping and spilling out all over the place and you couldn’t stop. You tried to tell yourself it was just a confetti cannon. You tried to tell yourself it was just a bit of fun.
You tried, and failed.
“I’m… I’m ok… I’m…” you gulped, aware of how choked your voice sounded.
Țepeș stood and held out a hand, pulling you to your feet and ushering you carefully inside. You didn’t miss the way he put himself between you and Demon, who was still snickering in the doorway, and you let him lead you into the shop and into the back room.
He snagged a box of tissues from under the shop’s counter in passing and guided you into a chair. He signalled for you to undo your helmet, which you did with shaking fingers. “I’m sorry,” you gulped as you drew it off over your head and set it on the floor. “I’m sorry I’m overreacting.”
Țepeș shook his head and squeezed your shoulder, offering you a tissue.
“It’s just a prank, I know that, but…”
Again, he squeezed your shoulder, and you took a deeper, steadier breath.
“I hate pranks. Even the harmless ones. I always overreact like this. I’m sorry. It’s not his fault, but… I thought… I thought maybe he… he wouldn’t…”
A knock on the door made you jump, and Țepeș made a ‘stay there’ gesture with his hand and ducked out of the room. A short, seemingly one-sided conversation passed outside while you fought to control yourself again, and then Pumpkin ducked inside.
“Hey,” he said, and your heart broke a little at the change in his energy. It was like he’d completely deflated. He was still wearing the cow onesie though, which brought a slightly hysterical chuckle to your lips before you could stop it. “I’m so sorry,” he said, dropping to one knee in front of your chair. “I… I didn’t think you’d react like that.”
“It’s not you,” you said, sniffling and turning away, cuffing at your eyes. “I just overreacted.”
“You didn’t overreact,” he said, and your brain screeched to a halt.
“What?”
“I shouldn’t have done it to you. I didn’t know if you were cool with it, and I just assumed that… that because everyone else likes my pranks… that you’d be ok with it too, and I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never ever pull anything like that on you again. Ever.” He crossed his thumb across his heart. “I swear on my True Name.”
The wording was odd, but the air seemed to crystallise around you for a second, and your breath caught. “Like a Fae,” you mumbled without thinking.
He tilted his helmeted head a little. “Yeah,” he said and his voice had an odd ring to it. “You… You know about… about the Fae?”
“I’m writing a book…” you croaked, not really thinking about what you were saying. “Supernatural theme… I’ve always written fantasy stuff… Look, I’m sorry. I’m over-sharing about stuff that isn’t even real. I’m good,” you said, and stood up abruptly, setting your borrowed helmet down on the chair and turning to look at him. He was on his feet again, but he was just standing there.
You walked out into the main shop but he called your name and you halted and turned back around. “Yeah?”
“Are… Are you gonna come back?”
You bit your lip. You probably had enough to write the book now — the biker part of it wasn’t even the main focus after all — but until the prank, you’d felt included and welcomed, and, as you thought about it, the prank had also been meant to welcome you into the fold. It wasn’t Pumpkin’s fault that you had reacted the way you did.
“You want me to?” you asked.
“Please,” he said. “Please, I’d love it. I’ve… I’ve never had anyone I’ve wanted to be my backpack before, and you rode like a natural today,” he added, taking a step towards you. “Please. I promise no one will do any pranks when you’re with us. No silly string, no confetti cannons.”
“I don’t mind it… With the others, I mean,” you said, the words grinding out of you like a boulder uphill. “I mean… So long as it’s not me.”
“Ok, we’ll dial it back,” he compromised. “I’ll even give you one of my little stretchy sticky hands if you like so you can team up on Pickle with me. We duel at the lights sometimes. Does that count as a prank?”
You shook your head, fighting back a resurgence of emotions, mostly good this time.
“Ok. I’m really sorry,” he said again.
“I believe you,” you said.
“Thank you,” Pumpkin replied, his whole body looking relieved. It was amazing how expressive someone could be, even without being able to see their face. “Let me give you my number and I’ll text you when we’re going out next. Or… Or maybe we could go out just the two of us?”
That seemed like way more pressure than you’d been expecting, but you nodded all the same when you realised you weren’t put off by it at all.
As you left the shop not long afterwards, having recovered enough to let the red fade from your eyes, Demon looked you up and down and then approached Pumpkin. You glanced back over your shoulder to see him looming down over Pumpkin, and you just caught him growling, “What happens when you need to take that helmet off eh, Dullahan? You think that cute accent is going to be enough to hide the fact you don’t have a fucking head under there?”
Your breath caught and you tripped, turning away before either of them could notice your reaction.
For a moment, when Demon had spat the word ‘Dullahan’ you’d thought he’d said ‘Callahan’ — Pumpkin’s real name — but the instant he’d said Pumpkin didn’t have a head, your mind made the connection.
Dullahan.
A Fae without a head, traditionally a headless horseman.
The way Pumpkin had moved with his bike, like it was a living creature, had reminded you of a horse and its rider, and you had to wonder if the nickname ‘Pumpkin’ had come from the cartoonish depictions of Dullahans on Halloween with a pumpkin for a head instead of their real one. They did have a head, you knew from research for your writing, but they tended to keep it hidden since that was where their power resided. They could only be harmed if you hurt their head, or if they were wearing it when you attacked them.
But that was all fantasy, right?
Then Demon’s red eyes flickered across your memory, and the weird emphasis he’d put on the word ‘human’ in his snide remarks, and the way you’d thought maybe Țepeș was a vampire because he kept his skin covered up, and the fact that Pickle’s skin was entirely green and they had gold eyes with cat’s pupils… it was all way too much of a coincidence. Right?
You walked home in a daze, not even saying goodbye to Adi who was talking quietly with Țepeș in the long, late afternoon shadows cast by the bike shop’s wall.
Over the next few rides with Pumpkin, you tried to figure out a way to broach the topic. If you just blurted it out, you had no idea how the others would react, so you dropped little hints to Pumpkin that you were writing a supernatural story and that you’d been researching the supernatural for a while, and how you’d always hoped there was more out there than met the eye. You even mentioned it a couple of times on group rides to see how the others reacted, and predictably, it was Demon who bristled, and Pumpkin who looked uncomfortable. Like he had a secret he wanted to tell you.
Each time you did it, he looked torn, like he was right on the cusp of telling you the truth.
It finally came to an ugly head one afternoon as the riding season drew to a close in late October and you all came back from a huge group ride that had included a few more riders whom you’d not met before, but who evidently knew the rest of the group.
As you went inside to return the helmet that Hank always lent you, you caught the sound of an argument and hung back in the small storage room behind the main shop to avoid it, heart in your throat and the helmet forgotten in one hand.
Pickle was standing in the main area of the shop with their helmet dangling from their hand this time, and you gasped when you saw sharply-tapered ears and a row of pointed teeth in their mouth, and green skin that went all the way down below their collar. Definitely not a tattoo. They looked sharp, their features inhuman; like one of the goblins in your novel. If you’d needed confirmation that they weren’t human, this had to be it.
Pickle was  arguing with Adi and Demon, and Pumpkin was there too, looking helplessly from one to the other of them.
Demon was shouting, and he didn’t have his helmet on either. Perhaps they’d thought you’d already left. The horns that adorned his helmet were… actually attached to his head, not his helmet. He had horns. They obviously grew from his hairline, his black hair waving around them like a river of oil that had a rainbow sheen on it, and his eyes were a luminous, blood-red with slit pupils too. He rounded on Pumpkin like a Wolf on a rabbit. “You think just because we let Țepeș’ little human blood-bag in, we can risk exposing us all to just anyone?” Demon snarled. “I thought you wanted to keep our kind a secret? Now you’re siding with him?”
“Hey!” Adi exclaimed, but Pickle’s lip curled and they turned to her.
“He has got a point, Adi, though the blood-bag comment was way out of line,” Pickle said. “We have to be careful, but —”
“This is different,” Pumpkin interjected. “Ok? I’ve never been in love before, and I love —”
“No. It’s not fucking ok! This is the one place we get to be who we are,” Demon countered, his deep voice cracking as he clearly fought off tears. He sounded afraid and upset in a way that went right to your heart. “This is the one place where we can be safe, Cal, and you’re jeopardising it for all of us. And if we start letting humans in, if our secret gets out —”
“I think it’s a little late for that,” Pickle said faintly, staring straight at you watching the argument unfold, stunned. They were arguing because of you. Because Pumpkin had taken a liking to you — in fact, he’d just said he loved you…
A pair of gold eyes and a pair of scarlet eyes stared at you, while Adi stood there hugging herself and looking hurt and unsure, and Pumpkin was standing stock still with his black helmet still on but you knew he was looking at you too. Was he going to defend you, or discard you and stick with his friends? They weren’t human. None of them was human. Demon’s eyes were blaring a violent red and he had horns growing out of his black hairline and curling back over his head, and there was a watercolour patch of red creeping over his golden tan as if he was losing control of his form. And Pickle was apparently some kind of goblin?
“You’re a Dullahan,” you said quietly, looking at Pumpkin. “A Fae.”
“You know?” Demon hissed, taking half a step towards you. “How the fuck do you know?” and then he shoved Pumpkin back with a hand at each shoulder. “You’ve taken your helmet off already? Did you disclose your head’s location while you were at it?”
Pumpkin shook his head vehemently but then he lifted his shiny, black helmet off in what looked like an act of defiance to Demon.
In the void where his head should have been there was a swirl of bluish-green smoke emanating from the stump of his neck, like the aurora in the night sky, and his skin was a dark, slate-blue colour. Your mind struggled to accept what you were seeing, but with the additional evidence of Pickle’s green skin and Demon’s horns, you knew it all had to be true.
Walking closer, as if moving through a dream, you ignored Demon’s constant, caged-animal growl, but you did jump when the door flew open and Țepeș burst in. He strode straight over to Adi and wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders, tugging her close and putting himself between her and the others. He cocked his head in an impatiently curious manner and Adi answered his silent demand.
“Demon’s laying into Pumpkin about flirting with a human while hiding what he is,” Adrianne said, glaring flatly at Demon. “And he called me your blood-bag,” she added.
Țepeș’ fists curled, leather creaking, and he took a long, slow inhale, as though he was trying very hard not to lose control and launch himself at Demon.
Before anything else could happen, someone clapped their hands abruptly from the side of the shop where the till and the bikes were arrayed, and you all jumped.
Hank was standing there and his eyes were glowing golden. “This family is built on trust,” he said in a low, gravelly bass, and you saw that his canines were chunkier and longer than they usually were, and his hair seemed thicker and fuller, his beard a little bushier around the chops. “And if we welcome each other into it, we must be prepared to trust each other’s judgement.”
“We’re just a little research project!” Demon said, rounding on you. “Adi told you what we are, didn’t she, so you thought you’d come and study us like a science experiment?”
You were still staring at Pumpkin’s empty collar and wondering in an odd, detached kind of way where it would be considered polite for you to look now — did you look at the point where his eyes would be if he had a head, or did you look at his chest? Only a second or two later did Demon’s words filter through and you blinked. “What?”
“You’re writing a fucking book about us! How does that count as trustworthy?”
“I’m not — It’s not about you,” you shot back. “The book isn’t about you. The protagonist is dating a vampire who’s in a biker gang, but… Adi didn’t tell me anything at all about you. I didn’t know you weren’t human until… until I overheard you accusing Pumpkin a few weeks ago. You said something about not having a head under his helmet, and you called him a Dullahan.” You swallowed thickly and watched the shock filter through everyone’s expressions at your words. “At first I thought you were saying his name, but then I realised you said ‘Dullahan’, not ‘Callahan’, and because I’ve looked into supernatural stuff, I put two and two together. I’ve known for weeks,” you said, chest heaving as you fought to maintain some semblance of composure while you finished your defence. “I could have said something, or I could have just not come back, but I trusted you guys.” Tears finally blurred your vision. “You treated me like family. Why would I betray you?”
Pumpkin moved first.
He strode across he space, dropping his helmet on the floor with a loud crack that would have made anyone who needed a helmet to protect their head wince, but you figured his was purely for decoration and disguise anyway. He wrapped you up in his arms and pulled you close to his body. His arms almost lifted you off the ground and he cradled your head in one hand while his left arm curled around your waist and squeezed you so tight you gave a little wheeze.
His voice came from nowhere in particular, just like it did when he had the helmet on, and he said, “You are family. And I love you. If I have to leave this one to be with you, I will.”
Your heart stopped for a moment before you hugged him back, desperately. “Don’t. Not for me.”
He only hugged you harder.
From somewhere off to your left, Hank gave a low, rumbling growl and then muttered, “Kids. Honestly.” Then a little louder, he said, “Demon, go and cool off somewhere. Țepeș, for God’s sake, stand down, and Pickle, go and put the fucking kettle on. I need a cup of tea with half a bottle of whisky in it after all this drama.”
Pumpkin drew back at last, and you looked up at the haze of blue-green smoke that seemed to swirl upwards in a constant stream, like a recently extinguished candle. “How can you see me?” you asked. And then, with a little more alarm in your tone, you yelped, “Wait, how can you see where you’re driving?”
He laughed and leaned in close enough that the aurora-light swirled across your vision and caressed your face with a feather light breath, and you shivered. “Magic,” he whispered.
Demon hadn’t gone anywhere, and was regarding you with a more level gaze. His eyes were still red though. “You knew?” he said. “All this time?”
“Yeah,” you croaked as you refocused your eyes from the magic of the Dullahan’s body to Demon’s very much corporeal body. “I mean, I suspected.”
He sighed, still staring you down. Pumpkin stepped a little in front of you, much as Țepeș had for Adi, but Demon shook his head. He worked his jaw for a second and then slowly held out his right hand. His skin was red instead of the golden tan it had been, and his nails were black and claw-like, but the gesture was one of reconciliation all the same. “Welcome to the family, I guess,” he muttered hoarsely.
You smiled faintly, and Pumpkin took your left hand in a show of solidarity, sliding his gloved fingers around yours while you briefly shook Demon’s hand. “I really didn’t know what you guys were when you said I could come and hang out with you, I swear.”
“I know,” Demon bit out. “I can taste a lie, and you’re telling the truth.”
With that, he stalked away and carefully slotted his helmet on over his horns. You realised that there were specially-tailored holes in the crown of it for the horns to fit through, but when it was on, some kind of glamour made it look like the horns were just attached to the surface of the helmet. Outside, he swung a leg over his Ducati and started it up, revving it and launching away amid a scream of tyres and over-worked engine.
“Give him time,” Pumpkin said as he looked down at you. In the swirl of the smoke at his neck you thought you could make out the features of a face for a moment, but you blinked and it vanished. “You’re family now though, so he won’t give you any more trouble.”
“He did just insult Adi pretty spectacularly,” you pointed out.
“And he’ll apologise to her,” Pumpkin said. Țepeș loomed threateningly beside Adi in silent agreement. “For now, you want to come for a ride with just me? Come back to my place maybe?”
You nodded. “Yeah.”
“Bet you have questions too…”
“You going to fact-check my novel for me?” you asked with a playful smile, and Pumpkin laughed. It felt right to hear his loud, giggly laughter filling the space again.
“You’d actually have to let me read it for that, love, and you said you didn’t like showing your work to anyone until it was done.”
“I could make an exception for you, I guess,” you admitted with a bashful smile.
With Pumpkin still holding your hand, you paused on your way out to check on Adi, who looked a little hurt but otherwise alright, and you promised to check in with her later. Țepeș handed Pumpkin his helmet, and you let yourself be led from the shop. Your helmet was still in your slightly numb fingers, never having put it down, so you slid it back on with shaky hands.
After climbing with familiar ease back up onto the pillion seat of Pumpkin’s orange KTM, you snaked your arms around his middle and squeezed.
“I’m sorry it all came out this way,” Pumpkin said before he started up his bike. “This was not how I planned to tell you. I had no idea how I was going to break it to you, but that… that wasn’t it. I know you hate surprises, and that was a big one.”
“Not all surprises are bad,” you admitted. “And this one turned out ok in the end. Come on. I want to find out how much I’ve got wrong about the Fae.”
Pumpkin guffawed, his laughter audible even after he’d started up his bike and pulled away.
Turns out, you’d quite a lot wrong about the Fae after all, but Pumpkin was only too happy to put you right over pizza and a movie on his sofa that evening.
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I really hope you folks enjoyed this one. If you did, please consider reblogging to show your support as well as leaving a like and/or a comment.
Do you want to see the other members of the group? Remember you can find out more about them here in this early post if you're curious. Tepes already has a love interest, and Ninja the mimic is claimed too, but if you're curious, lemme know!
| Masterlist | Ko-fi (tip jar)
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alicerosejensen · 1 year
Text
In short, I thought about it most of the night and made some notes on my phone.
I'm still translating part 3, but while I'm on vacation and have enough free time, I want to write headcannons.
specifically the jealous Leon. He is almost forty and his girlfriend is just over twenty. Don't get me wrong. I share moderate jealousy and excessive jealousy. For me, these are different things, so "WARNING! if you don't like reading this, just skip this post.
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You have an absolutely healthy relationship (as far as possible with Leon's psyche). You don't give him any reason to doubt your loyalty to him.
He considers himself too "old" for all these hangouts, preferring to spend time in peace and stability after a long mission, but you are a young girl who wants to have fun with friends from time to time (among which there are guys).
Leon has nothing against your entertainment and does not interfere with communication with others. Although, some selfish part of him wants you to spend more time with him, but he won't talk about it out loud.
Of course, he understands that others may like you too. You see, Leon still doesn't understand what you saw in him when you could date someone of your peers. It all started as a silly joke, and then you both wanted more from communicating with each other. And it's not just about sex.
You took care of Leon when you stayed at his place overnight, and in the morning you made breakfast with coffee, asking if you brewed it too hard. And while Leon is having breakfast, you always kiss him on the back of the head. Something that Ada or anyone else has never done.
After that, the cute attentions from you mean too much to Leon. He is a bit old-fashioned and will probably ask for official consent if you want to be in a relationship with him, despite his frequent absence and age difference.
“Do I need to sign some kind of agreement? Like, yes, I agree on all points to become your girlfriend? Signature and today's date?“ - You laugh with Leon, adjusting the shirt you stole from him in the morning when he says that he does not have such a paper and an oral agreement will be enough.
Leon will in no way publicly cover his personal life because of his work. Putting you in potential danger is not what he wants at all. Yes, he is happy to spend time with you, but if someone asks him about your relationship, he will say that there is nothing serious about it. Just a girl who agreed to spend the night with him. And only the closest (and there are almost no such people at all, so the circle narrows down to Claire, Helena and, perhaps, then Hannigan) will know about his real attitude towards you.
He also likes to take care of you. In general, he will gladly take a shower with you, soaping his head with shampoo after which he makes funny hairstyles so that he can laugh with you about it later.
He takes care of you if you have a painful period / you have a cold / just not in the mood. To show reciprocal care for a partner is a joy to him.
He won't show any signs of jealousy until you tell him that the main character of the movie/series is too gorgeous and you wouldn't mind marrying him.
Of course it's a joke. He understands it himself, but it hurt him unpleasantly.
It will never go to the point of absurdity. It's just that Leon doesn't quite like it when he accidentally sees you in correspondence with a friend discussing some cute actor/model/singer or other public personality admiring his beauty and charisma.
"Come on, he's not that good!" - in the end, he can't stand it when he's already in bed with you.
“Who?" - You ask innocently, stupidly blinking your eyes and looking straight at Leon.
“That guy from the movie. You can't do this trick in real life, it's a fucking special effect. And anyway, you don't like him, but the one he plays. I doubt he's ever held a real gun in his life.”
After that, Leon will lie down on the other side, leaving you completely perplexed.
It's stupid to be jealous of the handsome guy from the movie, he knows it himself. He just thinks that his age can still become an obstacle to your relationship, especially when he is often not at home and he is so much attached to you.
However, if some brat decides to start flirting with you thinking that "a lonely young girl needs company" Leon will immediately appear out of nowhere grabbing you by the waist and taking you with him.
At the same time, he will send a scathing look to the man.
Sometimes Leon can be very sarcastic towards you, but then he himself will feel guilty for it.
I think the longer he is in a stable relationship, the stronger his love for his partner becomes, and he doesn't care how much younger you are!
He loves you, and the thought that you might leave him for someone else bothers him. Therefore, sometimes Leon takes flirting with guys with hostility.
He is not one of those who will make a scandal out of the blue, but most likely will hold an explanatory conversation with you at home.
He just wants to make sure that your relationship with him is not a fun game for you.
Maybe he just took a friendly conversation like that, but you don't consider a conversation with a friend to be flirting.
It will be done professionally and unnoticeably (until morning), but Leon will leave you noticeable marks. How were you supposed to know that a sweet kiss on your neck would turn into a hickey?
Pretty hard to hide if it's summer or spring outside.
But Leon doesn't regret judging by his smug grin.
You're his woman. Of course you have complete freedom of action, but that asshole will know that you have someone and there is nothing to bother with an invitation to a date.
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Clandestine. Part Two.
The affair was always a ticking time bomb. No one could have predicted how big the explosion would be.
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Part One. Part Three.
Pairing - Stewy Hosseini x Female Roy Reader
Age Rating - 18+
Warnings - cursing. so much angst. sorry not sorry <3
Word Count - 1.7k
Author's Note - thank you thank you thank you for all of the love on clandestine!! it makes me so happy that so many people love reading stewy fics, because there is a criminal lack of them on here. i am more than happy to provide <3 as always, feedback and reblogs are massively appreciated !!
Series Masterlist.
Masterlist. Requests.
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Knock. Knock. Knock.
Your eyes blink open, sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains. You’re resting comfortably on Stewy’s chest, both of his strong arms wrapped around you. You yawn sleepily, wondering what’s awoken you.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Oh. That. You check the clock on the nightstand, realising that it’s only 7am. On a Saturday. Who’s knocking on the door at 7am on a Saturday morning?
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Fuck, is the noise getting louder? You nudge Stewy carefully, waking him.
“There’s someone banging on your door,” you whisper.
He groans and untangles his legs from yours. He throws on a pair of boxers, and moves to investigate the source of the knocking. You listen intently, curious to know who’s trying to gain Stewy’s attention so determinedly.
The door swings open.
“Ken?” Stewy questions, and you can almost hear the fear in his voice.
“Hey, man. Where the fuck is my sister?”
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
You're half awake and disorientated. Stewy got up to find out who was at the door 10 minutes ago, and frankly, you're getting worried. Against your better judgement, you throw on his shirt from the night before and make your way out of the bedroom.
You enter the living room to be met face to face with Kendall. Shit.
You briefly wonder if you can play it off, fabricate a story, tell him it's not what it looks like!
Apart from, it's exactly what it looks like.
Someone from Kendall's team saw you and Stewy leave the gala together. And now you're here, in his living room, wearing nothing but his shirt. And your shoes are by the front door. And there's a wine glass with your lipstick print on it abandoned on the counter.
There's no getting out of this one.
Stewy wants to scream, yell at you to go back to his room. He wants to pick you up and throw you out of sight, praying Kendall hasn't noticed all the tell tale signs. But it's too late. He has.
"Okay. Uh - what the fuck is going on?"
Kendall asks the question while looking between the two of you like some sort of cartoon character doing a double take. It doesn't require a genius to figure it out, but Kendall needs to hear one of you say it out loud.
"Listen, Ken-"
"Ken, don't get mad-"
You both speak at the same time, verbally tripping over each other. You've never actually discussed what you'd do or say if you got found out. You both just always naively assumed it wouldn't happen.
You sit down on the edge of the couch, and look at your brother earnestly.
"Ken, I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. It isn't fair. But you can't get mad when I tell you the truth."
"I'll be the judge of that," he mutters sassily. You decide the backtalk is a result of his confusion, and give him a pass.
"Will you come and sit with me, please? The standing is making me nervous. I feel like I'm on trial."
"You might be. I haven't decided yet."
You can't tell if he's joking. He's certainly not smiling.
Kendall moves to sit down next you. Stewy follows, perching himself on the opposite end to give you space. Close enough if you need him, far enough that it won't upset your brother more.
"Start talking," he commands, still confused.
"It's... well I - we - me and Stewy, we're -"
"Together," Stewy finishes for you. Kendall glares at him, and he decides he'll keep his mouth shut for a while.
"Yeah, we're together," you continue. "We have been for over a year. It isn't just sex, or anything. I'm in love with him."
It's weird to finally bear this truth after keeping it a secret for so long. It feels wrong, but also refreshing - like a bitter lemon on a hot day.
Kendall is scarily silent.
"You're... kidding, right?" he asks, finally breaking through the quiet.
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" you question, anger bubbling up. "It's my life, Kendall. It actually doesn't matter who I date. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make a difference."
He looks at you incredulously.
"You're so fuckin' naive. How can you sit here and tell me this doesn't change anything?"
You go to speak, but he continues.
"You lied to me, first off. Both of you. For God knows how long-"
"Kendall-"
"Let me fucking finish."
You shrink back into the couch, willing it to swallow you.
"You both lied to me. You broke my trust... and uh, that fucking hurts, actually. And then there's the business side of things. You work for Waystar. Stewy is a board member. That's a conflict of interest."
You scoff at him, but then realise he's deadly serious.
"... A conflict of interest?"
"It's against company policy. How am I going to trust you? How is anyone? Information might get leaked. What if I tell you something, and then you tell Stewy? And he tells Sandy and Sandi, and then the Pierces, and all of a sudden nothing is private anymore. I. Can't. Trust. You."
Tears are welling up in your eyes quicker than you can control. You're trying to take deep breaths, begging yourself not to cry in front of Kendall.
"You're breaking my fucking heart, Ken," you whisper.
"Yeah? Well I walked in here this morning, and you broke mine first."
A choked sob escapes you, and the floodgates open. Fresh, hot tears sprint down your cheeks, landing in your lap. Stewy can't stand to sit and watch any longer.
"Okay, man, that's enough. This isn't fair."
"What's not fair is the two people I trust the most both lying to my face for a year. That's what isn't fucking fair."
With that, Kendall stands up and strides towards the front door, slamming it behind him as he leaves. The minute he's gone, Stewy is wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.
"It's okay, baby," he murmurs, stroking your hair. "He'll come around. We'll be okay. If we stick together, we'll be okay."
His reassurances are only making you cry harder, sobs escaping you uncontrollably. You eventually exhaust yourself, falling into a restless sleep in Stewy's arms on the couch.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
You wake up in bed. You've temporarily forgotten the events of the morning, before it all comes crashing back down around you suddenly. Distantly, you can hear Stewy in the kitchen, talking on the phone. You look around the room, and know what you have to do.
You leave the bedroom with a bag in hand, throwing it onto the ground as you grab your shoes. Stewy clocks you, and hangs up the phone.
"Can I call you back? Thanks, man. I'll see you tomorrow."
He runs over to where you're slipping your heels on, precariously balanced against the side of the couch.
"Honey, where are you going?" he questions, panic washing over him at your frantic state. "Wait, have you packed a bag?"
He's trying to catch your eyes, but you keep looking away, desperate to avoid his unrelenting gaze.
"I'm going home."
A pause.
"... This is your home."
You knew he'd say that. It hurts just the same.
"No, Stewy, this is your home. My apartment is across town."
"You haven't been there in months. All your stuff is here. Baby, talk to me. What's going on? Did Kendall get in your head?"
"Kendall's right!" you shout, trying to pick up your bag. Stewy gets there first and grabs it, flinging it behind him, out of your reach.
"About what? He's just in shock, baby! He's confused and he feels betrayed. You don't owe him fuckin' anything. Not after everything that family has put you through."
"They're still my family. I can't lose my entire family, Stewy!"
"What kind of fucking family stab each other in the back? Lie to each other? Sell each other out for business? You're better off without them and you know it."
You know he's right. You're trying to convince yourself he isn't.
"You heard what he said! He won't trust me anymore. No one will. It's shitty, but my job is important to me. I can't be known as the Roy liability."
"Trust me, honey, you're the least likely to be named the Roy liability."
"That's not the point! You're not listening to me. I'm the youngest, I've had to fight for respect every fucking day of my life. I'm finally where I deserve to be. I can't throw it all away for... for love!"
Stewy flinches like you've punched him in the gut. He takes a step back and leans against the kitchen island, trying to keep his balance.
"What happened to 'you and me against the world', huh?" he murmurs.
"I think I got too wrapped up in this - in us. I was stupid to think it could work. We both were."
"I wasn't," he replies defiantly. "I knew exactly what I was getting into. I knew it would be really fucking difficult and I loved you anyway."
Stewy swears his hard breaks so hard, the both of you hear it shatter. A silent tear rolls down his cheek, big brown eyes filled with sadness.
"I'm not sorry for loving you," you whisper. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, but never for loving you."
"If you meant that, you wouldn't be giving up."
You duck your head, unable to look at him any longer.
"This isn't giving up. This is... quitting while we're ahead. If we keep going, we'll just end up having a huge, horrible, public breakup," you stop, and take a deep breath. "I think we were always doomed to fail."
Stewy thinks about the diamond ring that sits in a box in the top drawer of his nightstand. Doomed to fail.
You finally look up at him, and all the air leaves your lungs. You've never seen him look so defeated, so vulnerable. You're the cause of this. And you hate yourself for it.
You pad across the kitchen and pick up your bag from where he threw it, before stopping in front of him.
"I don't regret you, Stewy Hosseini. I never will."
With that, you stride out of the front door, closing it gently behind you. Stewy is left, cold and empty, in the apartment that no longer feels like home.
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so... part 3??
Stewy Tag List -
@shawty-writes-a-little
@616wilsons
@justacaliforniandreamer
@isuspectitwasthenargles
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yumeka-sxf · 7 months
Text
My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 3
Continuing from my previous two posts, this will be my last post discussing the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." I'll discuss some of Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters, some of the included concept art for the series, all the Twiyor tidbits the book has to offer, and conclude with a couple things the English version of the book omits.
Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters
There's at least one comment from Endo and/or Lin on every chapter of the manga from when the book was originally published (up to chapter 61). Unfortunately I can't cover every single comment, but I did want to highlight a few (more will be covered in the Twiyor tidbits later on).
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So Bond wouldn't have actually died from Yor's cooking then? Good to know her cooking isn't that bad, lol. Also that's a good question, Lin, maybe you should ask Endo? 😅
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Lots of great info about the cruise arc. Makes sense that they had to plan it out many months in advance and keep revising it to patch up plot holes. All that work definitely paid off! Interesting that they almost considered not having Loid on the ship at all. Glad they didn't because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten one of his best outfits! 🤣 (can't wait to see this piece of work in color in the anime!)
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Incidentally, the scene Endo mentions where he "managed to make Yor look pretty cute" is this one (she does look pretty cute here).
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My favorite comment of Endo's about any chapter has to be this one for chapter 56. Never change, Endo 😂
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And lastly, some good comments about chapter 59 (Becky visits the Forgers).
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This is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters so I'm glad it was well received. Funny how they kept going with the joke instead of ending it "normally"...but when you have such great characters and setups, good comedy writes itself!
Below is Endo's commentary about Henderson, not a specific chapter, but thought I'd point it out since he mentions Henderson is the only character he's done a shower scene for...not anymore!
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Also, while not related to a specific chapter, I do like what Endo says below about Loid and Yor's "dark sides."
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He enjoys drawing them this way, which is cool, but he's also cautious about not overdoing it and saving those expressions for important situations.
Concept art
Most of the pre-serialization character designs included in this book were also in the exhibition pamphlet, which I already discussed thoroughly here (wish I had remembered these were in the fanbook so I wouldn't have put so much effort into trying to read Endo's scribble notes). So I'll just mention a few of the most notable things.
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As I discussed in my post about the pamphlet, Franky was at some point intended to be the uncle of the family. Though I do think it would have been fitting to make him the uncle, I also like the main focus being on just the "nuclear" family, with the uncle and other characters having supportive roles.
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An interesting note about the beta version of Yor is that she seemed to be more like Fiona - she was in love with Loid right from the start, to the point of trying to eliminate Anya! I doubt this is something she would be doing all the time as it would have been difficult to make her a likable main character if she was always trying to kill her daughter...in all likelihood, she would have tried to kill Anya at first before eventually learning to love her as a daughter. While I see how this could work for an intriguing character arc, I'm glad Endo decided to make Yor a loving mother to Anya right away, and not make her feelings for Loid an obsessive "love at first sight" kind of thing.
Twiyor tidbits
Being the shipper that I am, I tried to see if I could pinpoint any Twiyor subtleties throughout the book, as vague as they may be! 😂
Below are excerpts from Loid and Yor's character pages where we're given info on their current stance about each other.
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Love the emphasis on their bond of trust ❤️
Below are excerpts from chapters 14 and 35, probably the most Twiyor-heavy chapter pages in the book.
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This confirms that Loid did indeed interpret Yor's kick as her not having any romantic feelings for him.
Below are comments by Endo and Lin for chapter 30, where Fiona is introduced.
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Endo's line is a little ambiguous here, but I think he's saying how people sympathize with Fiona because she's "doomed to lose," which is...telling 😅 (does Fiona's loss automatically mean a Twiyor win?)
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Endo says he likes the "You're strong, Yor" conversation, one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far! 😊 Lin also mentioned how they got to use that theme again during the Becky chapter.
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Weird that he chose to highlight this line of all things as Loid's "Family Comment" for chapter 10. Could this and chapter 79 be more foreshadowing for an eventual "Twilight vs Thorn Princess" showdown? 👀 Or maybe he just likes teasing fans because he knows it's something they fantasize about.
English version omissions
There's an additional Endo interview that's missing from the English version of the book: an interview with him and Kazumi Takayama, a former idol of the group Nogizaka46.
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At first it seemed very odd that they would leave out just this interview, but after discussing it with others on Discord, I realized it's because it has to do with an idol. Apparently getting licensing rights for anything that has to do with a Japanese idol group is very difficult, which is further hindered by the fact that Takayama isn't even part of that idol group anymore, which makes getting the content green lit for official release overseas even more taxing. So probably Viz decided it wasn't worth the trouble and just left out that interview. But thankfully u/Nemshi on Reddit posted a fan translation of it, which you can read here. They talk a bit about SxF, but most of it is just general questions they ask each other.
And the other thing missing from the English version that I really can't understand is the inside cover! Another great 4th-wall breaking joke from Endo (I added a quick translation of the Japanese version below).
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Unlike the Takayama interview, I have no idea why they didn't include this. They include the inside cover as an extra page in all the English volumes, so why not here? Very weird.
---
And that's all I'm going to share for the "EYES ONLY" fanbook! Honestly, there's so much great content in the book that I didn't touch on, like info about East/West relations, about Eden Academy, Endo's comments on all the designer chairs for the volume covers...and lots more. So definitely get a copy yourself if you can! It's a must-have for any SxF fan 😁 Books like this aren't officially released in English very often, so the fact that Viz thought it was worthwhile to make this proves how much of a hit SxF is!
<- Return to Part 2
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artful-aries · 1 year
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Genshin Men: How They Show Affection (Cyno, Thoma, Kaeya)
Mobile sucks so bad for trying to find gifs for some characters I said fuck it and used still images instead. Anyway, enjoy!
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Cyno:
​​His affection primarily comes in the form of spending time with you. As the General Mahamatra, he doesn’t have a lot of spare time. It’s significant that what little free time he does have, he spends it with you without a second thought.
​​He doesn’t like going out too much; his job keeps him constantly moving, and being the General Mahamatra he always has a target on his back. Cyno likes to finally slow down when he’s with you. This isn’t to say he wouldn’t take you to get a nice dinner or anything, but he is at his happiest when it’s just you and him.
​​He will teach you how to play Genius Invocation TCG, but he will always go easy on you when you play, admiring how your face lights up when you win. He also wants an excuse to show off the card art he commissioned from Albedo
​​On the rare occasion that he has more downtime than usual and he’s feeling particularly affectionate, his favorite thing to do is just lie down and hold you for hours on end
​​This seems like a blessing; his warm, strong arms wrapped around you, the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat in your ear, his lips occasionally ghosting over your exposed skin….that is, until he breaks out his jokes
​​For Cyno, this is the perfect opportunity to try out some new material, and you’re his unwilling audience
​​Cyno: I have a joke that I would like to tell you, (Y/n). Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
​​Y/N: …
​​Cyno: No? How about this one: Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.
​​You have to kiss him as a distraction if you want him to stop, otherwise he will literally go on all day with his jokes
​​After the first couple of times, Cyno learned that telling jokes to you won him kisses. He totally doesn’t use this fact to his advantage
​​
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​​Thoma:
​​This man is the walking definition of acts of service
​​Need help reaching something? Thoma is doing it before you even ask. Hungry? He’ll have a five course meal prepared for you with all of your favorite things. Tired from work? Don’t worry, he’ll have all your chores taken care of so that you can relax
​​He likes giving physical affection too, but in public it’ll just be a gentle squeeze of your hand or a kiss on the cheek. In private, he’s a bit more touchy; holding you by your waist, peppering kisses anywhere that you will allow, etc
​​Thoma’s work with the Yashiro Comission always comes first, but he’s very good about balancing his work and your relationship. He never makes you feel like a second choice
​​He’ll love being able to take you to his favorite spots in Inazuma (that is, if he can go a minute without someone asking him for a favor). He shows you all of the well known sights as well as the unknown ones as well. When he shows you special places that only he knows about is how you know that this man is so in love with you
Thoma will definitely take you to feed the stray animals of Inazuma City weekly. You really get to see his nurturing side come out then with the animals. It almost hurts to watch him, he’s just so sweet.
​​
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​​Kaeya
​​Despite his flirtatious behavior, Kaeya is a little reserved in his affections with you. A lot of it stems from his own personal trust issues
​​Even so, in public he WILL have an arm around your shoulder or waist, and straight up pout if you won’t let him
​​In private he’s more carefree with his physical affection, but you can tell that some of it is just surface level actions, a force of habit as he is a natural flirt
​​It’s not until you manage to melt the icy wall around his heart that you see the real depth of his affection; his eyes linger on you, smoldering. He gives gentle caresses to your hair, and holds you against his chest as though he were scared of you disappearing if he let go
​​Despite is initial reserved nature, Kaeya always gives you words of affirmation, although they often come in the form of incessant teasing
​​Dates with him are actually pretty common. Being the Calvary Captain without calvary, his schedule is pretty flexible. This isn’t to say he doesn’t work hard, but his hard work is always done behind the scenes. He doesn’t want to give you a reason to worry about him anymore than he already does
​​His favorite thing to do with you is to go to the Angel’s Share and gossip. Yes, gossip, and you two are like old ladies together in the thrill of unravelling the drama around Mondstat, and there is a lot of it to go around.
​​You two never bring about any harm with this, but it’s fun for him to teach you ways on how to read people and collect information, and he gets to have both work and pleasure rolled into one as he listens into conversations for any intel he may need
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theflyindutchwoman · 7 months
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Of course I'm scared. If we do this and it doesn't work, I'll have ruined the most important relationship in my life. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said, um -- No. Um… You're right. So we should just keep going the way we have been, right? It's not worth the risk. Unless it is.
| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.08 - The Collar
Words cannot describe how much I love this scene… It's how different and refreshing this is… It's how Lucy has finally allowed herself to come to terms with her feelings for Tim, that he is the one for her… And now that she knows that, she can't brush it off or ignore it any longer. Just like Tim, who wanted to talk about it once he was aware of his own feelings for her. She has caught up to him, ready to be completely open and honest after their conversation in the shop...
It's how mature this feels. There's no need for unnecessary drama, for a shouting match or, worse, for one of them to play dumb. These two have spent years developing a shorthand and are pretty good at communicating, there is no reason for this to be suddenly any different. But most of all, they know each other, their character. They both understood what their willingness to sleep together meant, even if it was under the guise of undercover. They infered the same conclusion : for them to be ready to cross that line, there had to be feelings. The only thing that was holding them back, besides their respective partners, was the fear. The fear of losing the other, of losing this relationship that is so important to them… Of losing their person...
It's how, in the end, this scene feels like a breath of fresh air… Where the respect and love Tim and Lucy have for each other shine through. Where they both take that leap together. And it's how this happens in the parking lot, in front of the station… A place charged with history, where so much has happened lately. This is very close to where Tim fake-proposed to Ashley, with a heartbroken Lucy watching… To where they met the morning after their first kiss, both hopeful and awkward… To where he watched her leave with Chris, the pining and longing written all over his face… And yet, despite all of this, this feels like a brand new place… On the other side of the sidewalk, as they're crossing a symbolic threshold… With a much softer and romantic atmosphere, with all the flowers and plants around them, creating a colorful bubble just for them… Both sitting so close to each other, completely disregarding the chairs nearby… Forgetting the concept of personal space, as always.
It's how Tim was waiting for Lucy, as if they had convened of a meeting at the end of their shift, to end what they started in the shop. An idea that is reinforced when Lucy claims they need to talk as soon as she arrives : she knew where to find him. I'm a bit curious as to what she was actually planning to say before Tim joked about yet another listing and took over the conversation… Regardless, this part illustrates how they are still a bit out of sync. Lucy might have had her revelation, but Tim is very much in the dark in that regard. As far as he knows, she has at best realised that Chris isn't the one… She's one step ahead of him here. And it absolutely shows with the way he goes right back to where their discussion ended in the shop. Asking her again why she is staying with her boyfriend when it's clearly not working. And, while it might sound a bit judgmental, he's simply trying to understand what's stopping her, so he can help her. This is truly about her for him. I like how he zeroes in on her guilt because she did stay with Chris longer than necessary out of guilt and responsibility. For almost cheating on him. For what Rosalind did to him. And it was all the more obvious when she was trying to convince herself that she should love him back, implying that something was wrong with her… She deflects a bit - again - by calling him out for doing the same thing. And she isn't wrong : everything he told her in the shop fitted his relationship with Ashley to a T. He was settling, knowing full well they didn't want the same future, not arguing because it wasn't worth the bother (her retirement plans, the Whole30 diet…). If anything, this highlights how they were both denying their feelings, hiding behind a safe relationship. Not wanting to be alone.
And this is where their frustration boils over… Lucy because the conversation is not going the way she intended and they are getting off topic a little… And Tim because he is getting defensive. He's correct in his assessment : she definitely stayed this long because it was safe. But he couldn't be more wrong about the other part : this has everything to do about him. He is the reason she stayed with Chris (why she even went out with him in the first place, one might argue)… And, ultimately, why she could have never committed to a life with him either. Because he's not Tim. And so Lucy blurts out how she feels, why she is so scared… what she figured out in the shop. Out of frustration and out of nervousness. And because this is something that has been on her mind since their last talk. That's how intense those feelings are : she can't contain them anymore.
'If we do this, I would have ruined the most important relationship in my life'… It may not be a love confession per se, but the implications in this one sentence are huge. And in a way, it feels more powerful and true to them : it encompasses the entirety of their relationship, what he fully means to her. As I said earlier, she's not even questioning if he has feelings for her : she knows. She saw the looks, the signs, the reactions. Like when he was ready to talk about their feelings, something he usually avoids doing… or when he came in her apartment… When he didn't want her to worry about him… or when he said she deserved someone who's worth the bother and effort… What she doesn't know yet, is the extent of these feelings. But it wasn't really the risk of hers being unrequited that was scaring her the most : it was the fear of losing him, of losing what they have. Because their bond is already special, even without the romance. He is her person, the one she trusts completely and implicitly, the one whose opinion matters the most, the one who supports her unconditionally… And it's not like her fear isn't legitimate : she spent the last couple of months believing that she had already ruined everything, when Tim pushed her away (or so she thought). She was devastated in that hallway. And now that they're getting back to where they were, she doesn't want to lose him again.
And Tim… The magnitude of her statement is hitting him in full force. He was so focused on her relationship with Chris that he's completely caught off guard by her confession. He certainly never expected to be this important to her, this significant. To be chosen, let alone be her first choice. Because time and time again, he has been relegated to second choice. Told repeatedly, even if implicitly, that he wasn't enough. So Lucy, of all people, telling him this, is blowing his mind. The micro-expressions on his face are amazing. The editing is as brilliant, with this moment of stunned silence, both needing some time to comprehend what has just happened, emphasising in the meantime the lyrics in the background : 'I'm scared to go home'… And this epitomises what they are feeling so poetically. They are each other's home.
Lucy is the first one to recover, all nervous and terrified that she has said too much. That she has scared him away. But she hasn't. Even when he agrees with her statement, she still doesn't question his feelings for her. She simply takes it as his way of saying they should maintain the status quo and go back to how things were. That it's not worth taking the risk of ruining their current relationship. 'Unless it is…' Her confession is all the final push Tim needed : he has been ready to talk about this and risk everything since that second kiss. He knew what he wanted since then, he just didn't think it was in the cards… But now that she is opening the door a second time, he's not holding back. His sigh… He's gathering his courage before asking her out to dinner. And his grin! He is absolutely elated. And it matters so much that he's the one taking that first step… 'Rules matter, Boot'… But 'some things matter more'. She matters more. He told her earlier that she deserves a relationship that is worth the effort, so it fits perfectly that he would assure her that this one is worth the risk. That THEY are worth the risk. And how heart-warming is it that after all the heartbreak he went through, he doesn't hesitate to take that leap of faith with her… The fact that Lucy was the one who helped him heal along the way and get to this point, just makes all of this even more beautiful.
Her little 'yes' is so adorable… She comes off a little shy at first, becoming more assertive. Tim couldn't look happier, flashing his trademark Lucy Smile… Before experiencing the biggest whiplash when she suddenly says no. The way he's instantly shutting himself off, using his hands almost as a barrier between them, sitting a bit straighter and away from Lucy… How she reaches for his thigh to stop him and reassure him that she hasn't changed her mind… She simply remembered that she is still in a relationship - a detail they both tend to forget in the heat of the moment… And she's right : she needs to break up first. For Chris. And for them. They deserve to start their romantic relationship on a clean slate, with no regret, especially after almost jumping to bed together… While Tim agrees with her, it's clear that he isn't completely convinced either : it's like he is afraid she may change her mind. It's really when she tells him to ask her again, 'after', that he fully grasps that she is just as committed as him. Well, that and how she lights up. That last shot of them, with her little shimmy (the one she always does when she's excited) and his bashful smile while looking down is the cutest thing… It's so soft and full of promises and hope… and the perfect tone to end this scene.
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olderthannetfic · 4 months
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I know about the origins of the Bechdel Test, but I do think it's inaccurate to say it's not meant as a criticism of movies that don't do that. I think that when people stop thinking in binary terms of "is this feminist?" or "is this anti-feminist?" and instead look at things more holistically, that you can recognize both that a character like Mako Mori is great, a step in the right direction for female characters in action movies and especially WOC, go forth and stan her and write all the fanfic you want.... but yeah, it is also a valid criticism of the movie (and many others like it) that she doesn't talk to or have relationships with any other woman in the film.
I think one thing to help people realize just HOW much of women's lives are being left out of media representation when we never talk to other named women about something other than a man in movies, is to just think about your own life. I talk to my mom every day, and if we are not talking about my stepdad or my brother-in-law (and I don't think we've ever had a conversation that wasn't at least IN PART not about them or another man), then it passes the test. I'm a professor and when I talk to a female student about her homework or project (which is, again, something that happens pretty much every day I teach), that's passing the test. If I order food from a female cashier and she has a name tag, that's passing the Bechdel Test! It's literally just constant for the vast majority of women on the planet, and that's what's being left out of our stories.
Like, I like the takes I've seen about how part of the joke in Dykes to Watch Out For is that this is *particularly* alienating to lesbians - as a lesbian myself I agree - but I also think it should be frustrating to straight and bi and ace women as well, because like unless you are like exclusively interacting with your husband or male relatives every single day + you work in a workplace where you are literally the only woman, you are almost certainly passing the test constantly. That's a pretty big part of women's lives that Hollywood is leaving out!
But I think it's important to view it as just one piece of the discussion about feminism and women's representation in film, not the final judge on if a film is feminist or not. Which it wasn't intended to be - as you said, it was mostly a joke on the extreme maleness of 80s action movies. Honestly, I do not miss those days on Tumblr where people were obsessed with declaring certain movies/TV shows/other fandoms they liked as "feminist" or "anti-feminist" and the really bizarre granular discussions people would have between two works that BOTH had a long way to go in terms of representing women. I remember people in the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom would use this to argue about if the original anime or Brotherhood/the manga was better - when both have some fantastic female supporting characters, but are ultimately male-centered stories where even a lot of those women's lives and stories are centered around their male love interests and family members. It's better than a lot of shounen, but if that's your bar for feminism - either version - you have a long way to go (and need to watch WAY more anime because there's sooooo much of it that is female-centric). I also remember people coming up with other tests that were blatantly silly: like I thought the Mako Mori test about "if a woman has a motivation/story that isn't centered on a man" was fair because it did point out a legitimate criticism, but there was that ridiculous "Tauriel Test" where it was "a woman who is good at her job." And it was entirely about someone just disliking that movie critics and feminist commentators alike were down on the Hobbit movie trilogy, which a) were bad movies, sorry you have bad taste, b) are absolutely not where you should focus your attention if you're so concerned about women's representation in film, Tolkein has always been a sausage fest! And her big thing was being mad that people thought Judi Dench's M in Skyfall was a better female character, and so she arbitrarily decided she was "bad at her job" and Tauriel was "good at her job" even though that's completely subjective and can be challenged in both cases.... but also, once again, why are you looking to the fucking JAMES BOND franchise for movie feminism! There's nothing like comparing the relative "feminism levels" of JAMES BOND and LOTR to make it obvious that this is 100% about validating your subjective taste preferences by giving it a "progressive" excuse, not actually about feminism and not actually caring about women's representation beyond how it makes you look good. And yet SO many people took that transparently stupid post seriously. I'd see professional articles mention the Tauriel Test as "one of the new tests" like there was anything serious about it.
And then on the flip side, over-reliance on the Bechdel Test alone led to some clueless conclusions especially in anime fandom, given that anime has an abundance of shows that exclusively feature female characters in school clubs being cute, where those characters are nonetheless two-dimensional archetypes designed for the male gaze. Someone like fandomsandfeminism did a presentation at an anime con that called one of those types of shows "feminist" and some Japanese user eviscerated it, but that just led to the equally shallow fandom analysis of "everything a Japanese person says about anime is automatically more valid" and "any Westerner who wants to criticize anime on feminist/progressive grounds is culturally appropriating and ultimately coming from a place of ignorance, even if they literally have a degree in Asian studies."
Wow, this turned into a rant about the history of bad "feminist media criticism" on this website. Sorry about that, I think I had a point in here somewhere. I guess that the Bechdel Test is indeed a joke and those origins should be understood, but also, I don't think it's wrong to say that it identifies a real problem and one that people could probably take MORE seriously than they do - but as just one part of the conversation, not the Feminism Litmus Test, and certainly not as a dick-measuring contest about whose fandom gets them more progressive brownie points.
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I think as long as we grasp that the joke is "The bar is so far under the ground that we might as well go home and eat popcorn there", it's fine.
The real issue with the test is that people started thinking a pass was meaningful.
If you say something like "X% of 2020s movies can't even manage this weaksauce level of women existing", that's a meaningful statistic. Even if you got a couple of data points wrong, you're not factually wrong enough for it to matter because X is going to be some massive, massive percentage, and the overall trend is so clear.
But a pass is nothing to celebrate, and that's where we went wrong.
Like you say, litigating which of two big franchises that barely do anything with women wins on tumblr points is idiocy.
I think people are so unaware of what media that genuinely centers women even looks like that it's hard for them to even begin having a discussion.
I personally have been a massive fujoshi type from adolescence, and media that centers female characters isn't actually what I typically want. (Though media that is by and for women and that doesn't give a fuck what men think of this is.) I am also not much of a fan of slice of life in general...
But when I was coming out and figuring my shit out, being able to go buy collections of Dykes to Watch Out For was incredibly valuable to me.
Ditto the other lesbian comic books that were just sitting there in the bookstore. I'm sure if I went back and reread them all now, I could find things to nitpick or ways they were more for lesbians and less for me as a bi girl, but the really distinctive thing they did was let me exist in a world where media isn't all 80s sausagefest action movies where women are not people.
In fact, they were a world where men don't matter terribly much—not because they're dramatically rejecting men in some facile and reactionary way but because... who cares? They just had other priorities... and this was normal.
It feels like people who've never taken a vacation from really mainstream media just have no concept of what it would feel like to exist in some other space.
And I think that's a pity even if, like me, they later choose to go read mostly BL later instead of focusing on female characters or they genuinely love trash 80s action movies despite everything wrong with them. It's not just sexist media that's the issue: it's that feeling like the fish can't see the water it's swimming in.
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candy8448 · 3 months
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Nothing like opening my eyes to a new linked universe update
Dawn pt8
My occasional source of dopamine XD
Its very satisfying seeing how all the traveling layers are put on. You can really imagine this scene animated
So a lot of important things were discussed, stuff the fandom have noticed before but its good that jojo finally mentioned them herself:
Shadow is the only this associated with the portals (pg1)
I LOVE how so many traits and experiences of the characters are shown here!!
Wild taking the blame first, he's got one heck a guilt complex (pg2)
We are just hit with everyone's emotions right off the bat and i love that!
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I kinda like how blunt Time is
Wars talking about how "helping the wound isn't an option," things they must consider during war (pg3)
Legend trying to lighten the mood again like he always does (pg4)
I like to see how what they think of wolfie has changed now that they know it was twilight. Wars thinking its fine if the animal goes off alone cuz it doesnt understand but now making it clear that he doesn't like it
Secrets are getting in the way (such as wolfie) and hindering their process. Maybe it wouldn't have been so clunky if tgey knew exactly who wolfie is
WARS' SCARF IS BACK BABY! I got so excited when i saw it that page, dont worry guys, he has it back now!
Legend with his puzzle mind :))) my legend-centric brain is happy (pg5)
But his teasing almost boastfullness ("it just got lucky") but then turning in to actual contemplation, i love that he is also taking things seriously
Its actively seeking them out, Hyrule is wary that it will find them, like in his adventure (pg6)
They need to get better at teamwork
Four bringing in the joke about friendly fire. He definetly knows a lot about that (im reading the four swords manga for the first time and am near the begining sooo)
They need to use their arsenal
I just gotta say that i love this shot, very pleasing to my eye for some reason. But im so excited to see how everything goes with this! Im guessing in the near future, they will be taking these but to the extreme that it hinders them so they need to practice or something
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Oof poor hyrule so tired of strong monsters, his games were HARD (pg7)
The power up on the sword! Ive seen a post about it before so its cool that they are noticing it, very important too!
I like the firmness with sky and time's ideas of the sword. Even though time says nothing about her we can see it, and the fact that she still sees him as her master (obviously!) It seems like they both need to sort out this dissagreement in order to not impact them even more (Pg8)
I love this especially because i just made a fic about exploring sky's and others' relationship with the master sword
I can't help but think that sky is thinking about more than just this quest in this update and back to his own adventure and maybe ghirahim. More bits in this update also make me think that ("he wants to fight" "yeah, 'cause he wont")
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Wind being the one most eagre to fight! And Hyrule being the one most ready to go! I love that!
I was just thinking a few bays ago about what happened to those letters, i guess we get to see now! It seems like it might be one more update before we set off properly again (pg9)
Sky looking so happy about the mail at the end :)))
We really do get a piece of everyone and their personalities in this one
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Im so excited for them to be on the road again!
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youuuimeanmee · 1 year
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Nol and Shinae's Dance Analysis.
I heard from some people, Quimchee planned the entire night sequence on December 21st to be filled with hints and set ups for events and character dynamics in the future. Though I don't know how far Quimchee is gonna put the hints since it's past Dec 21st already, but hey, Quimchee always insert some symbolisms and foreshadowings anyway so I wanna analyze this one particular scene because it has a lot of foreshadowing materials, and try to predict their dynamic in the upcoming Chess Game.
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Analysis
1. Nol with the blindfold. He is hiding his eyes from crying so much. But why is he crying in the first place? One can only guess the reason, but we know the phrase: Eyes are the window of the soul. It immediately reflects our emotions, our fears, and our deepest emotive shades. Nol is hiding his true feelings (whatever it is: love, relieve, heartbreak, fear, anxiety) from Shinae. He is closing his eyes, ignoring whatever reality in front of him, and chooses to live in the moment with her --regardless of the consequences that might come after.
2. The head band covering Shinae's neck --or the delicate part of the body that must be protected, as Nessa once stated. Nol took it away from her. He also told her to take off her shoes earlier. Combine these two, and you have Nol basically rendering Shinae naked vulnerable in front of him. She believes Nol's excuse to play things fair without question; even without the blindfold, Shinae is pretty blind herself, because she couldn't see he's not fine at all.
3. Their outfits. They're both vulnerable in their own ways; Shinae without her shoes and her headband, and Nol in hospital gown with the bandages that covered his wounds. But, while Shinae's neck is out in the open (completely open with her feelings), Nol's neck is wrapped in bandages (hiding his feelings completely). They're not seeing eye to eye; it's not fair.
4. The dance movement. Nol is twirling Shinae around. Even in blindness, he had Shinae dancing at the palm of his hand. By lying and hiding behind a mask, he had her under his control. (Not that he has any malice --he just wants to make happy memories with Shinae before he's gone, but from here, we get a glimpse that Nol is capable of manipulating his partner to move like he wants to.)
5. The color. Rand said he has faith in his team. His words are in red in black, signifying power. He has conviction they won't lose to Yui. And sure enough, the duo is dancing without a care, they're building their team play. But notice the background color when they danced; they're not in the light (hope), but it's not completely dark either. It's basically grey. Despite Rand's hope, the situation seems bleak.
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Nol who is blind, is guiding Shinae who is blind. You know what could happen?
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This is the worst scenario though, I hope it won't happen.
The blind is leading the blind. One of them has to open their blindfold if they don't want to fall together. Fortunately, Shinae is quick to open her eyes from Nol's tricks. She saw Nol's tear stains and she immediately took the rein; she stopped their dance. Once it stops, we can see the light returns (even if it's not as bright as before).
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Discussion
Nol and Shinae's dance has been teased for a long time, and we finally get to see it now. It's been teased from episode 5, when Nol proposed Shinae to be his partner. There has been many hurdles, but now that Shinae has fully accepted Nol's hand, they finally embark on a new journey as partners. Their dance represents their new partnership and how they work together as a team. And of course, being their first time, it's not all smooth sailing.
Nol and Shinae is a unique pair. They're almost like a mirror. Whatever Nol do that night, Shinae is able to keep up with him.
Nol and Shinae have the potential to be impeccable liars. They both can make nasty jokes that can cut their opponents deep. Like Nol's prank that reminded Shinae of her father in-coma, and Shinae's prank that reminded Nol of his abused days in the Hirahara Hospital.
They are capable of stealing. Nol stole the yearbook to investigate Alyssa to give Shinae the justice she deserves. Shinae stole some balloons from the poor, tired man to give Nol a happy birthday he deserves.
They both can equally be manipulative if they want to. Shinae doesn't want Nol to bolt from her since he seemed ready to do it anytime, so she lured him out using sweet words, shared her painful past to try to relate to him, and asked him to dance in Min-Hyuk's room so she could be with him longer. Nol doesn't want Shinae to bolt from him again since she seemed ready to do it anytime, so he listened to her music together, played around with her finger dance, asked her to dance --even taking away her shoes, and smile as Yeong-Gi so she won't run away from him anymore.
Whatever wholesome or nasty things, they could do it together. They'd be such a great partners-in-crime. But sometimes, because they're so matching, they often find themselves in unfavourable condition when they're not in synch. For example, like the first time they meet. Both of them were riled up by the mean guy's mockery; they stood up to teach him a lesson at the same time. But, because they had different idea on how to do it and they're not aware of each other's presence, Shinae ended up hindering Nol by spilling the juice on him --or Nol hindered Shinae by getting in the way, whatever floats your boat. Yes, it is an accident, but I believe Quimchee has been setting up their dynamic from the very start.
You get the gist. For the upcoming chess game, they need to fix their teamwork. And to get a nice teamwork, they need to be in synch. They already prove themselves they're capable of doing that, like their first prank and their tag team against Sang-Chul. But if they want to win against Yui, they have to do better. It's clear they're not there yet, because Nol is hiding too much from her. In fact, Nol is too smart for his own good and he hates putting his loved ones in dangerous or uncomfortable situation, it's possible he would "manipulate" Shinae in their partnership; he'd let her help him enough, but not enough to drag her into the mud with him.
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I found this comment and I agree with this, though realistically, I'm not too hopeful Shinae could turn things around so quickly when this is just the very beginning of Nol-Shinae's partnership.
It's been hinted no matter how much Shinae is seem to be able to catch up to Nol, Nol is always one step ahead from her.
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On their first "dance" in the Arcade Arc, what Shinae lacked is stamina. Right now what she lack is knowledge. Knowledge about Nol's past and the sticky situation surrounding Hirahara. Unfortunately, Nol is not ready to share it yet. Not at all.
Nol has always been in constant survival mode. Years of being preyed by Yui has build him to never show his weakness to anyone. Not to his friends, not even Nana --to some extent. Today, he just made a huge leap by crying on his loved one's shoulder instead of crying alone, but he's not ready to reveal it to Shinae. He has yet to process his feelings. It takes time. Things are gonna get complicated, especially when it's been foreshadowed that Nol is going to leave for a long time. If he does leave, it'll be a challenge to stay in contact and get close to him. And in the future, there will be much more things that Nol is keeping secret from Shinae. We already have Nol's investigation on Alyssa, for starters. Shinae has stated she doesn't like surprises and she doesn't like it when someone is going overboard for her sake. If she find out Nol has been manipulating her, doing all sort of things behind her back, and shouldering everything alone.... Welp. And she is capable of hurting Nol too, so... Yikes. I pray things won't get that far, I hope they won't hurt each other too much in the process.
I do hope we'll get a parallel of episode 65 on the next episode --Nol admitted to Shinae he's not fine at all, but since Nol is hard-headed, I don't dare to hope too much.
On (un)related topic, Rand, the Black King, has ordered Shinae, his Black Pawn, to inflitrate the opponent's den. Well, even though I said ordered, it's more of an advice on how to play the game. Shinae has the right to decide whether she chose to involve herself in this game or not. To make the decision, she needs to know what is exactly she's up against, and for who she's fighting for. And for that, she has to be aware of Nol's circumstances. Once she heard everything about Nol, there's no going back.
If Nol won't talk to her, I hope she can talk to Nana; I hope the two of them will meet. Yujing is currently brewing her article. If Shinae could learn about Nol's past from Yujing, it'll sting since she didn't learn it from Nol himself, but at least it'll start some conversation with him. Hell, she could even try to ask Rand if she's desperate enough. Nol is the same. If he wants to stand on equal footing with Shinae in the chess game, he needs to face himself, take a leap of faith and try to open up to her, little by little. He needs to believe Shinae is not as fragile as she seemed; she can take his burden and she won't leave him either.
If, in the future, Nol ever find himself immersed in his Antihero role for too long, or he's into his revenge plot too deep, Shinae needs to stop him from hurting himself. Maybe she even have to resort to some brute force if he keeps being stubborn.
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Shinae and Nol have different stats in nature, so she has to get creative and proactive with her ways to make up for her weakness, if she wants to stand by Nol's side equally.
Just like Nol who has the capability to manipulate anyone -- including his partner -- if he wanted to, Shinae is just as capable to take the rein of their relationship, like the way she accepting and stopping their dance when she found something wrong. It's up to her if she want to continue the dance --letting her partner be blind, or stopping the dance completely if it means she could get him to open his eyes (come in terms with his feelings).
...
Maybe this is why Rand has so much faith in Nol and Shinae (especially the latter). Despite their flaws, despite their bleak situation, they can overcome anything as long as they're together. In due time, of course.
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lucysarah-c · 26 days
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What do you think about Levi not mentioning Farlan and Isabel throughout the anime? They were literally his first real friends and family. Even in their deaths he was frustrated. But strangely we don't see any flashback scenes about them or Levi talking about them. It's obviously disturbing to me.
I have an Oc an underground childhood friend that I ship with Levi in particular and I didn't write their story down, but it makes me think that if my character was in danger or if she died with Farlan and Isabel or if she ended up dying long after their deaths, Levi would never remember her or talk about her, just like Farlan and Isabel's deaths, and that bothers me.
I know it's a bit strange to get this kind of analysis-like question since you are a Levi writer's blog. But since I love your writings and I really liked and found comfort in your answer to anon's question about whether Levi likes weak people. Because I am also a person who gets caught up in rumors and doubts whether Levi will like us or not haha.
Anyway, I don't want to deviate too much from the subject and make it too weird. You can answer question if you want.
Hi, sweetie! Oh, I see. Yes, I understand where you're coming from. First of all, I'd like to thank you for saying that you love my writing, and I'm so happy you found comfort in my answer about Levi and a "weak person." It's alright that we get lost in what the fandom discusses too frequently; it has happened to me too. And do not worry, rest assured, I don't find these "analysis questions" weird at all. Though my analysis will never be as good as my close friends', like my friend Sushi who used to have a meta-analysis blog of SnK or Cosmic! They are beyond amazing.
But to answer your question, before I get lost in my thoughts, long story short, Isayama is extremely bad at writing emotional connections in my humble opinion. In my personal group chat with my SnK close friends, we discuss this in great detail at least twice per week haha. In my opinion, Isayama is a writer or a storyteller who struggles to find a balance between keeping the plot going and creating a cohesive society and interrelationships between characters. I personally think that the story was always advancing so fast, full gas, no stop, that we hardly got any real details about the characters that made them human beyond their mere roles in the story.
I always use as an example, if one chapter in the manga or anime started with different panels of the veterans getting ready and sitting down all together for a meeting, we could have seen how their personal chambers were, how their interactions were not only between them aside the presence of the cadets, but we could have also seen how they confront early mornings, if they had paintings of loved ones, flowers on their desks, etc. It would have taken ... 5-10 pages at most, and we could have learned so much. It's something I even keep in mind while planning my own stories; I have an entire notebook of "backstory" for all the characters of Holy Ground, canon or not. So when the time comes around, I can drop little details of their lives here and there because... Let's be honest, has someone ever sat down next to you and said "here, let me tell you my whole life"? No, usually, you get to know someone organically, and that's also what, in my opinion, should happen in stories.
Now, going back to why Levi doesn't talk about Farlan and Isabel. Well, my best answer to you is, sadly, another question. Tell me one scene in the whole anime or manga where Levi was having some quality time with someone he felt comfortable enough to open up and talk about fond memories, be vulnerable, or even crack a joke about some silly hormonal stuff he did as a young man with Farlan. Tell me, I will wait... Haha.
Levi doesn't talk about Farlan or Isabel because he doesn't have screen time to talk about almost anything besides the plot moving haha. I would put my hands on a burning fire and swear that Farlan and Isabel are still extremely important to Levi! And so would be your OC! Don't let Isayama's literary limitations fence your story. That's my best advice; explore feelings that he didn't have the production time for (perhaps he wasn't allowed to write about it because of financial stuff) or he simply wasn't good at it.
Hope that helps!
Love ya!
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dmwrites · 9 months
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“Hey.”
“Evil, I have to tell you some bad news…” Impulse ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “We lost… the others. We went to do that backrooms job you were telling us about and… the gang all died. Except for me. I don’t know how I got away with my life, but…”
EvilNotion looked up from his computer. “I have a haunted house I need you to check out. I was hoping there would be more of you alive, but… you seem like a main character, plot armor kind of guy. You’ll be fine. Probably.” He slid a file across the desk towards Impulse.
“I- what? Did you hear me? I said they died!” Impulse said in confusion. “Skizz and… Tango and Joker.” he kind of coughed out that last part- technically, Grian and Scar weren’t employed by EvilNotion Paranormal Investigators Company, but Tango and Joker had to go out of town, and Grian and Scar had asked to come along, and they all thought it was going to be such an easy job…
“Yeah, I heard you. But ghosts won’t bust themselves- ha, get it, bust, because cu- you get it, I know you do. But regardless, I still have this job, and someone has to do it. So go. I’ll send the bodies and condolences to the families- do you have the bodies?” Evil looked over Impulse, like he had the head of Skizz in his pocket or something.
“Uh, no, unfortunately not, they were kind of… in pieces.” Impulse said awkwardly.
“Just condolences then.” Evil muttered. “Okay, so the truck’s all loaded up- see you later.” He looked back at his computer, the conversation clearly over.
Impulse stared at Evil in confusion. “No- Evil, I don’t know if you’re understanding me. It’s just… me… just me left here. We need to mourn! We need to… I dunno, plan funerals. And block Skizz and Joker and Tango’s numbers just in case a telemarketer tries to take it over or something, I dunno.”
Evil looked back up from his computer reluctantly, wearily, like he was the victim in this conversation. “No, I get that they’re dead, man. But work’s still gotta get done. I already booked this job while you guys were gone. I’ll hire some new guys, it’ll be fine. It can’t be too hard to find a couple of idiots with nouns and verbs for names. Get going, now, we’ll discuss things when you get back.”
——
It felt weird to be preparing to go into a haunted location alone, with no chatter or jokes slung about the truck. But Impulse had always been pretty competent at this whole ghost-hunting thing, and the motions were easy to him. He figured he should be mourning right now, but frankly he was still baffled by Evil’s indifference to the whole situation. Maybe he wasn’t such a great boss after all. They did always have a lot of pizza parties, but Impulse was beginning to wonder if that was worth not having healthcare. And weird indifference to employees dying, apparently.
But, regardless of the thoughts in his head, Impulse found himself at a small little woodland cottage that claimed to have a “malicious ghost” haunting it, just as the sun set.
“Right.” Impulse muttered, scanning through the file. “Ghost name… Vincent Goldstein. Easy, simple, okay.” He grabbed some equipment, as well as the keys to the house and headed outside. Almost immediately, he almost slipped on a half-drank can of soda, which was laying on its side and actively spilling out of the can.
“Wha- hello?” Impulse looked all around, the deepening shadows playing tricks with his mind, but nothing looked out of the ordinary. No one seemed to be around. “That’s… odd.”
Impulse went into the house, listening carefully at the doorstep for any footsteps or odd noises. There was nothing, so he continued inside, shining his flashlight around and making mental notes of anything that seemed odd. It wasn’t too long before he discovered an area that seemed colder and mistier then the rest of the house. He would normally have relied more on his EMF reader, but the thing seemed to have broken at some point, stuck on EMF five and making that annoying beeping noise. Either way, Impulse trusted his own capabilities enough to garner a guess that this might be the spot of the haunting problems, so he went to go get a camera and set up a few things. There were some items in his way as he went back outside, like a mug and a hammer, so he marked it down in his notes as a sign of paranormal activity. There was also a monkey’s paw in a desk drawer that he gave a wide berth to as soon as he saw it- he did not need such trouble on this mission, and plus, he didn’t have anyone to bother with it besides himself.
The monkey’s paw bothered him- it reminded him of his lost friends. He didn’t like the quiet they’d left behind, that’s for sure. Usually he had Skizz saying some silly little thing, Joker and Tango arguing, Grian singing, or Scar being scared down the radio. He tried to push down those feelings again, focus on his work. After, like Evil said, he could process all of this. But he had to do his work first.
Back in the house again, Impulse noticed a few more misplaced items, and wondered to himself if he’d missed a haunting. He was just setting up the camera when there was a sudden chill on his arm, like something ice-cold was touching him. Impulse looked all around. There was nothing there, but he was starting to hear what was either the wind or whispers. He stayed still, camera in hand, straining to listen-
Impulse’s phone suddenly rang, like a gunshot in the silence. Impulse screamed, both feet leaving the ground as he jumped, and dropping the camera he was holding. He scrambled for his cell phone and answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Impy. So I was thinking about Skizz’s gravestone. Something like ‘he lived how he died: screaming. Also-“
“EVIL!” Impulse shouted, leaning against a chest of drawers weakly. “I am in the haunted house right now, you can’t just call a man out of the blue like that- I dropped my camera! Dang it!”
Evil clicked his tongue. “Does it sound like I care? Anyway, I was looking at the, uh, roster of who went on that backrooms mission… who are Grian and Scar? Last time I checked, Tango and Joker were not spelled that way.”
“I- uh- oh no, I think the ghost is messing with the cell phone service!” Impulse made some whooshing and static noises into the receiver. “Gotta go, see you later!” He hung up. “Yikes.” He said to the empty room.
He finished setting up the camera with no more distractions, although he was distressed to find the camera lens cracked right down the middle. He headed back to the truck and looked at the camera- it was placed great, but there was another mug covering up most of the lens.
“Darn it!” Impulse cursed, then paused. He’d done a lot of jobs, knew a thing or two about ghosts… he’d never seen a paranormal entity be purposeful in throwing household items around. Entities weren’t ever so purposefully annoying, just destructive.
Something was brewing in Impulse’s head, a thought he dare not get too excited about yet. He grabbed a spirit box and dashed back into the house. He stood, not in the hallway, but the middle of the living room and turned on the box.
“Is anyone there?” He asked, eyes fixed on the box. For a moment, there was the familiar heavy static. And then, clear as day-
“Dippledop?”
“SKIZZ!” Impulse shouted, almost dropping the spirit box. “Is that you?”
“Hey homie-buddy! It is me!”
“I’m here too, Impulse!”
“Where are youuuuu!”
“Scar? Grian? Oh my god!” Impulse sat down hard on the couch, holding onto the spirit box like it was the only thing in the world. “You’re here! You’re all ghosts?”
“Yeah, buddy!” Skizz said.
“We’ve been following you since we died in those backrooms.” Grian said.
“You scratch your butt a lot when you think no one’s noticing.” Scar remarked.
“Scar!” Grian chided him while Skizz laughed. Impulse laughed too.
“So, okay, you’re dead? All of you? And you’re all ghosts… man, I missed hearing your voices so much.” Impulse felt a tear sliding down his face. “I miss you.”
“We miss you too, buddy”. Skizz said, and he felt that cold sensation on his shoulder. They must be standing around him, but he still couldn’t see a thing.
“How- what can I do? How can I help you guys?” Impulse asked.
“We’re dead, Impy. You can’t help us.” Grian said.
“We just wanted to say that we’re here with you.” Scar chimed in.
“I wish I could save you.” Impulse sniffed and wiped his eyes. “I wish… oh.” He went silent, the only noise coming from the static of the radio. “I know what I have to do.” He stood up and walked over to the desk nearby.
“What’s he doing?”
“Impulse?”
“Woah, woah, Impulse, hang on, hang on, let’s t-”
Impulse shut off the spirit box and set it down on the desktop. He opened the drawer he’d opened before, and there it was, waiting for him with three fingers raised.
Impulse took the monkey paw in his hand and laughed, although it sounded hollow. He took a deep breath, and then another. His heart was beating so fast in his chest, but he savored the feeling, savored every sensation he could possibly have in this moment. Then, he licked his lips.
“I wish for life.”
Gashes appeared on his body at once, bloody and deep.
“I wish for life.”
Across his back and arms, he could feel gouges in his skin, his muscle.
“I wish for life.”
He gasped out one final time, and blood poured from his mouth. He fell to his knees, choking and coughing. He felt a hand on his shoulder, warm and comforting, and looked up to three figures looking down at him. He smiled, something desperate and sad and happy all at the same time.
He collapsed to the ground, dead, just as his cell phone started to ring. Skizz reached down, blood dripping from his fingertips and tap-tap-tapping onto the phone screen, and picked it up.
“Impulse, it’s Evil again, do you care to explain why the fuck Tango just called me, sounding very much alive, and asked when the next ghost hunting job was? Did you seriously, actually have randos working the fucking job with you? Impulse? Impulse, answer me god damn it!”
“Impulse can’t come to the phone right now, he’s a bit of a sacrificial lamb. Oh, and it’s an shade, by the way.” Skizz rasped down the line, and hung up.
——
You may be asking, why EvilNotion? Well, this whole fic spawned from Impulse’s solo phasmo stream a little while ago, where he was waiting for the spirit to appear and Evil kept sending donos to scare him. That’s what the phone scene came from, and the rest of the fic followed from there. I feel bad that I made him a bad boss, but it did make it funnier lol
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wendytestabrat · 7 months
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how ‘tonsil trouble’ showed kyle is just as vindictive as cartman
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what rlly stands out to me abt kyle in "tonsil trouble" is how that episode rlly shows how truly petty, vindictive, & vengeful he can be like just as much as cartman LOL. kyle is the kind of person that can't let shit go and he ALWAYS has to have the last word if someone slights him in any way. ok like I know cartman giving kyle aids was a fucked up thing to do and any person would be like reasonably pissed off beyond belief about that, but honestly I still feel like if this happened to another character they wouldn't have reacted the way kyle did and lashed out as badly as him LOL. i mean for example cartman has done a shit ton of life ruinous things to butters too but you've never seen butters snap at cartman like kyle did in this episode LOL. i mean first of all kyle got himself into this predicament by laughing at cartman for having aids which was probably not a very smart thing to do and was a HUGE dick move yet he took 0 responsibility for the effect that had on cartman nor apologized but cartman did apologize to kyle for for giving him aids AND found a cure for it. and then after kyle gets in trouble with the principal for beating cartman's ass on the playground and making fun of him for having aids he still does NOT FUCKING STOP and keeps going and finding ways to ruin cartman's life and get back at him and deadass breaks into his house and starts breaking all his shit LOL and then he almost destroys his xbox, but then lies and says he won't so cartman will cure his aids and then even AFTER cartman cures his aids he STILL fucking breaks his xbox LOL. like BRO LET IT GO YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS MESS BY BEING A DICK AND RIPPING ON CARTMAN AND NOW YOU STILL THINK YOU'RE JUSTIFIED IN RUINING CARTMAN'S LIFE SOME MORE??? i swear with all the energy kyle spent into raging and trying to get back at cartman he could've honestly just found a cure to the aids much sooner. LOL honestly the moment after cartman apologized to kyle that could've been a good moment where the two could've reconciled their differences and kyle could've owned up to the fact that he was being a dick making fun of Cartman for having aids and THEN they could've discussed working together to find a cure. i feel like that's what cartman wanted to happen and was expecting to happen LOL. he thought giving kyle aids was just gonna be a fun practical joke on kyle that would teach him a lesson about ripping on people who have aids so then when kyle snapped the way he did cartman was like OH SHIT. normally cartman likes pissing off kyle and getting him to react at shit but yeah this retaliation was too much for cartman to handle bc Kyle was deadass starting to match cartman's energy LOL. and I also feel like cartman wouldn't have given kyle aids if he knew there was no cure. he said he was researching the cure and magic johnson since he was infected, so what that tells me is cartman didn't view giving kyle aids as a big deal bc he knew they were just gonna cure it anyways. he just wanted to play a joke on kyle and make kyle look stupid for a brief moment and have kyle regret making fun of him and then have them reconcile after and work together to find a cure. but yeah cartman's ignorance in this situation is that he didn't realize that aids is like an incurable disease up until that point and so if you give someone aids they're probably gonna be hella pissed bc they think they're gonna die. knowing cartman and how intelligent, resourceful, & resilient he is he knew that once he got infected with aids he alone could probably find a cure for it LOL but ofc he was playing up the "i'm gonna die" card for attention. kyle, not so much. he runs on his emotions for everything so yeah finding out he has aids is like a devestating life ruinous thing with no hope for him, so being that cartman is a total sociopath with a lack of empathy he didn't expect kyle to react to getting aids in that way LOL
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