#and i just feel so stupid for letting fucking fandom bullshit get to me again

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

.

#rsd and anxiety through the roof #the new poll thing brought back some bad memories and feelings from the old days of vld fandom #Ughhh it hurts #this fandom has been a major source of stress and anxiety for so many years now #a better person would have left earlier #I am not a better person #i like these characters but sometimes i have to ask myself is it really worth it? #sometimes i wish i had never watched the show it was one disappointment after another #why did this show had to be so popular and bad and had such a godawful fandom? #pro tip- never go into tags of a poll consisting your favourite thing if you have rsd especially if the thing has some controversial fans #attached to it #and i just feel so stupid for letting fucking fandom bullshit get to me again #i deleted my old blog and only follow 6 ppl now to get away from fandom bullshit #last few months have been a real emotional rollercoaster from all sides and i think i am reaching the breaking point #It's just ughh #I am taking a break #empty salt #probably will delete later

[k3n-dyll]

maybe because not everyone has to cater to black and brown readers? if i feel excluded then talk to ur black and brown writers bc why tf would (for ex.) white writers write black readers when…when they aren’t?? yall aren’t victims write ur own shit if u care so much like idk what to tell u but not everyone has to bow down and write the way you want them too.

The fact that this is what you got from me saying that POC feel excluded from fandom is...insane.

I hesitate to even answer this because you sound stupid as hell, but since I think other people need to get this shit through their skulls as well:

If you are a writer, and you claim to be writing an "x reader" fanfic for a character you like, the general consensus is that "reader" in this situation should be neutral for the most part. Sure, there's different versions of that ( "x fem reader", "x masc reader", etc.") , but generally, the idea is that "reader" in this situation could be anyone, yes? A lot of writers on this app and others, write "reader" as if tiny white women are the default.

And you know what?

If you wanna write that way, fine, but say that. If you so desprately want to write about Abby Anderson fucking a 5ft nothing white girl with blonde hair and green eyes - write that. But don't call that shit an "x reader" when you know its a self insert meant to exclude everybody that doesnt look like you. Dont claim to be a safe place for all readers if when POC say they feel excluded from the things you write, you say stupid shit like what this anon just did. If your shit is labeled "x reader" with no other warnings, one should be able to assume that they arent going to see any specifics about body type, hair textures, skin color or eye color - but no. Thats not the case.

I swear, every time we bring this shit up you bitches act like we killed your fucking grandma. If you dont wanna write in a way that everyone can consume, fine, but dont make it seem as if petite white girls are just the default human in every scenario. Theres a content warning over every fic, if you dont want to see how problematic it is to write as if whiteness is the default then the least you could do it leave a big fat warning in that little "CW" section to let us know that you didnt write this with the existence of people that dont look like you in mind.

Oh, and I do write my own stuff btw. Don't ever come in my inbox with this bullshit again. Pissing me off first thing in the morning😒

#tlou2 #lesbian #wlw #abby anderson #☆kennie's rambles #abby anderson x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams #abby tlou2 #please get a fucking grip #i hope you stub your toe #sevika x reader #abby x reader

[lacrimosathedark]

I need the comic book fanfic writers to be made very aware of something:

Roy Harper is the only one to EVER call Jason Todd "Jaybird".

This isn't a family name that he picked up on, or that Roy made and the family has adopted. Roy is literally the only person to call him that. Dick doesn't, Babs doesn't, Bruce doesn't, nobody but Roy does.

The others call him Jay sometimes, in old comics Jace was said a few times (which I actually like and wish people would use literally at all). Bruce has said "Jay, lad" like once and fandom adopted him calling Jason "Jaylad" but that's not horribly egregious so I tolerate it. Dick occasionally calls Jason "little wing". That's about it.

Jaybird is very specifically a Roy Harper thing.

(Honestly yall better appreciate me actually looking back in RHATO 2011 because BOY do I hate this comic. It's not only poorly written, but in my opinion, ugly as fucking sin and I need to burn my retinas now)

That is the first instance of Jason ever being called "Jaybird", and it becomes a lowkey running gag that Roy calls him that and Jason "hates" it.

And then we get this post Heroes In Crisis

This whole thing may have been poorly written because, again, Scott Lobdell sucks, but the intent is to evoke intimacy to make Roy's death hurt. Jason is supposed to have just lost his best friend and was told by Bruce Wayne whose last appearance in his life was beating the shit out of him and, oh yeah, who saved Jason? Roy Fucking Harper.

In addition to the fact that Roy only left Jason to get help for himself. He was supposed to be in rehab/therapy, somewhere safe, and he fucking died because of handwavy Speedforce shenanigans or whatever it's been retconned to now because nobody liked Heroes in Crisis. Roy was supposed to be getting better and he died ostensibly in an accident. Like if that's not the worst fucking bullshit--

This scene of Jason calling himself by what he deems a stupid nickname would mean jack shit if everyone and their goddamn cat called him "Jaybird". But it being a Roy-specific thing makes this scene distinctly about Jason being vulnerable and actively grieving. It's such a cliche trope, and a real coping mechanism, to call a deceased loved one's phone just to hear their voice in their inbox message again. He probably has no thoughts that Roy will ever hear it so this is just for him, but he's letting himself accept this dumb nickname Roy gave him now because it was Roy that gave it to him and Roy is fucking dead.

Like, in fairness it probably frustrates me more because I ship the two and parallel it with Oliver calling Dinah "pretty bird", but like...even as just a cheeky friend nickname, nothing romantic behind it, having everyone else call Jason that feels wrong. Especially his family who he still has so many issues with and, like it or not, he's closer to Roy than literally any of the Bats at this point.

This isn't the only time I've seen the fandom do this (this being giving nicknames between characters that just don't exist); Jason calling Tim "replacement" is absolutely rampant in the fandom and I hate that too because he never calls Tim that, and refers to him as such like once. I have a whole list of actual nicknames and insults these motherfuckers call each other somewhere, but maybe another time.

In short

STOP HAVING EVERYONE CALL HIM JAYBIRD.

Thank you and have a nice day. <3

#DC Comics #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Jaybird #Roy Harper #Arsenal #I am losing my goddamn mind #I'm just so tired #RHATO #Heroes in Crisis

[queers-gambit]

When Eddie Munson is Mad or Frustrated HCs

prompt: headcanons about Eddie being mad / frustrated with reader.

pairing: Eddie Munson x reader

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

warnings: cursing, is this angst i don't even know, uh, talk of anxiety, anger, uh, maybe 'physical anger' but i promise it's like one sentence? once again, please proceed at your own risk!

• Eddie's super easy-going, so he's next to never frustrated or angry with you. doesn't mean it doesn't happen, okay?

• he's the type to always use a slew of pet names, so the moment you hear your government name come from his lips, your stomach drops a little. truth is, you hate hearing your full name from him.

• he doesn't like that your eyes will go wide and your eyebrows will soften a little - he knows you're his sweetheart, and he never calls you your name. it tastes weird on his tongue but he stands firm. he needs you to know he's seriously upset.

• because, again, he's next to never mad at you - so, when he is, oh, he's big mad! and he gets this stony look on his face that makes your stomach knot together.

• he snaps a lot when he's mad. maybe uses a tone that he only uses for bullies, or when he's defending himself against his Uncle.

• Eddie gets lost in his thoughts so he glowers a lot.

• sometimes it comes off as a glare, yikes.

• all depends on what you're fighting about but it can last for a span of 6 hours, or 6 fucking days. all depends on how angry either of you are.

• look, it could be anything he's mad about, but 9 times out of 10, it's over something that can be solved. he needs to have a reaction first.

• most of his frustration and anger comes from being overwhelmed, so, the boy just needs to feel his feelings.

• depending on the fight, he uses sarcasm a lot. okay - it's a defense mechanism, he can't really help it in some cases. what's the opposite of 'cat's got your tongue?' because if Eddie's frustrated enough, he won't shut up when antagonizing or instigating you.

• ah, maybe because of his home life, he might use guilt a lot. he doesn't always realize he's doing it, he's just repeating what he's hearing you say and it's totally warped in a way.

• "oh, I get it! so, you're saying you don't love me?"

• "Eddie, I said I was feeling frustrated by how often we fight about Jason's stupid-ass! And that you need to let this shit go!"

• truth was, he knows you're Jason's math-appointed tutor but it doesn't mean he likes it!

• being said, neither of you listen to rumors of the high school hallways because they were often altered from their actual happening. so, you're both pretty good at confronting rumors.

• doesn't mean you're both totally immune, but Eddie's not the type to listen to a bunch of shitheads over you. so, if he hears something that concerns him, he'll ask you about it - and vice versa.

• doesn't mean he's always mature about confronting you but he's getting better at that!

( • you're almost at the point where you can share a joint on a Friday night and talk about the shit-rumors you both heard at some point during school. almost... )

• all that to say, if Eddie's mad, it's for a good reason because he doesn't concern himself with bullshit. and he's normally not very reactive in his anger, so, he'll silently stew in it but that usually just festers his irritation.

• Eddie gives the cold shoulder.

• he won't throw his arm around you or hold your hand. hey, that's saying a lot for two people who almost rely on physically touching one another when in proximity!

• but he'll still take your book bag and / or binders into his hands before taking you home. even when angry, he's still a gentleman and won't go back on his promise to make sure you get home safely. he'll just take your things into his own possession on your way out of school, or practice, and mutter to get in his van before totally ignoring you otherwise. dickhead.

• Eddie has a hard time with words. so, when he takes you home, he doesn't say a single thing, right? he won't reach for your thigh or your hand, he'll crank the radio and fulfill his boyfriendly duty by escorting you home after a long day of education.

• and when he's mad, he'll torture both of you. there's no touching, there's no conversation, he won't budge when you beg him to talk to you. he won't call you to invite you over for a midnight visit, he won't sneak over and let himself in through your attic's faulty window. we're talking radio silence.

• it drives you slightly insane.

• and Eddie's a fucking professional at it: giving the cold shoulder, going radio silent, allowing himself to get stuck in his head because he's trying to decide on the right words.

• he won't kiss you properly, either (another way he tortures you both). when he's mad, he's quiet but when he takes you home, he might peck your lips when he says goodbye. maybe he'll just peck your cheek, or just let you kiss him.

• he doesn't allow himself be romanced into your kisses because he has reason to be angry, damn it! so he mostly avoids kissing you because you've been known to start kissing him as a distraction. when angry, Eddie avoids your lips.

• there's lots of nonverbal communication. he'll grunt, nod his head, anything that makes you think he's not fully listening. he knows that drives you a little crazy, so, he'll keep at it.

• you're typically the one who picks 'the fight'. he's content being silent (despite dying on the inside because holy fuck does he wanna hold your hand) and pretending "nothing's wrong" because he just doesn't want to fight.

• i know, i know - huh? well, he's mad for a good reason but he really doesn't want to fight. he's a sensitive boy, and confrontation potentially triggers him. you're his everything so even though he's mad, he really doesn't want the fight that comes with it.

• but the sweet boy isn't all fluff -

• when he's really mad, oh, he's picking the fight. the claws are out and he's definitely instigating you.

• he's not the type to bring up past events but he has been known to weaponize your words against you. yikes, again!

• however, when he does this, it usually leads to a much bigger fight about his habit of doing that - so, he tries not to. he's a stubborn dickhead but he doesn't want to actively hurt you, so, he makes a conscious effort to work out of this habit.

• because it makes you feel like you can't say anything without it later being turned against you - and Eddie's favorite thing in the fucking world is talking to you, so, lesson learned!

moving along -

• Eddie's passive aggressive. making comments about whatever he's mad about and hoping you fill in the blanks. it gets really annoying when he doesn't just outright tell you what's wrong, but he feels in the right for being upset so he's not very forthcoming with information.

• he avoids you, maybe he avoids your usual routines.

• for example, Eddie usually always walked you from your math class to the cafeteria but when he's mad, dude's nowhere to be found.

• does he want to be mad? nope. but he doesn't often know what to do with his emotions so if something's wrong, again, he needs to have some kind of reaction.

• again, Eddie is always writing you letters! so, it's common for him to paperclip together a few sheets of scribbled notes because he knows you'll read it and follow along. his brain just works a mile a minute and he tries to jot down everything he can.

• these papers usually highlight the actual issue, and then you can see the train of thought he was on that lead to a bigger issue.

• you keep these letters, too.

• neither of you like arguing so tension doesn't last.

• you consider him your best friend; he considers you his best friend. so, neither of you really worry about how angry you get because it's known you both want to work it out.

• you might be one of the few people that's seen him actually upset. and it stings when you know you're the cause of it.

• Eddie's stubborn in a fight. he'll try to keep hacking at the problem at hand despite your reasoning / explanation for everything. he wants you to understand that he was genuinely upset by something, so he'll keep picking at the scab until it bleeds again.

• however, once the fight is over - it's over! no grudges, no passive comments after that from either of you.

• you have a rule that the fight lasts as long as it needs to last before it's solved - but you don't go back to it. when the fight is over, you both are almost desperate to move on, so it becomes a thing of the past.

• he might bring up a few points later, but he's asking, "what did you mean by that?" because the sweet boy is just trying to understand in full what happened, how it happened, and how to avoid it in the future.

• every fight instills a new lesson of communication for you both.

• this isn't to say Ed doesn't get, like, really angry sometimes.

• typically, it's not something you've done but you might be the final straw that breaks his camel's back. and he explodes. he doesn't yell often but when things over boil for him, he's loud. very loud.

• face gets red, hands gesturing wildly, stressfully pulls at his hair, he paces a lot.

• he might toss a few things out of anger, too. he tries not to when in your presence because he doesn't want to subject you to that, but it's happened a few times.

• never, ever does he throw shit at you, but there's been a hairbrush lobbed across the room before as he's pacing and ranting out of anger.

• the impact is nowhere near you, so, you don't react to the physical anger. you've only seen it first hand a few times, and you know it's not being directed at you.

• but you're his sweetheart and do whatever you can to help.

• your job in those moments are to be on his side and help him navigate his emotions. it's a lot for our boy, he needs a little help.

• he's intense when frustrated or angry.

• ah, you know what, if Eddie's angry, it's probably best not to touch him. he's anxious and when his emotions are overwhelming him like that, sometimes, if you touch him at the wrong time, it can feel very uncomfortable for him.

• being said! after the initial outburst of energy, there's usually a sign that he's okay to be touched again. he might tell you verbally and wave you into his chest; other times, it's when his shoulders deflate, eyes leave your face as they swell with tears, and his fingers will tremble a little. usually, that can mean the adrenaline's leaving his system and it's okay to touch him now.

• and after feeling so angry, he could usually use some comfort.

• Eddie feels guilty after every fight and that's where the mixtapes are coming in. he's afraid you're now mad at him for being mad and basically ignoring you, so, he leaves the mixtapes in your mailbox.

• despite whatever anger shown to you, when it's over and he's feeling guilty, he really doesn't do confrontation. he's been vulnerable enough, so, he's trying to edge his way back into you.

• again, you listen to the mixtapes all night and talk to him the next day about whatever's happened. but you're soft about it and just try to cover all bases so that you both learn a lesson from whatever fight just ended.

• you've discovered that Eddie communicates through music sometimes, so, you try to relate the fight to the mixtape. he might not say it but his heart swells in his chest when you do that; it's like you're trying to speak his language.

• but you speak fluent Eddie.

• when you see him after the mixtape and get him talking, he can't shut up. Eddie just word vomits everything on his mind and it's up to you to sit quietly and just listen. you'll take mental notes about somethings he says - but you have to interrupt him when it becomes a little self-deprecating.

• the boy is insecure and often feels like he doesn't deserve you. so after particularly bad fights, he'll get it in his head that it's too much for you, you don't deserve this, and maybe someone like Harrington would be a better match -

• that's when you're interrupting him, telling him that's just anxiety and self-doubt worming their way into his mind. you're a professional at talking him down from these moments of high anxiety, and do your best to reassure him that these fights are good.

• they're good because it means you both still care enough to fight.

• and you want to keep having fights with him, and not Harrington.

• typically, you'll go on a date after the bad fights. he feels guilty for it, you feel guilty for it, and you both want to spend time being in love before it all blows over. that's the usual indication the fight is 100% over and done with - Eddie takes you for milkshakes, or something.

• or maybe he's taking you to a clearing and you're laying on top of his van, stargazing.

• he gets you flowers after every fight, i don't care! whether you started it or he did, he's picking you some wild flowers (or buying them from a floral shop if he's really fucked up) and showing up at your house with a small pout.

• Eddie doesn't like fighting with you, so, you both try to keep them at a minimum. but hey, dating someone means you're in their space a lot, and odds of you never fighting are slim-to-zero.

• Eddie considers himself lucky to have someone like you. someone willing to fight it out through the rain to get to the sunshine on the other side. someone who lets him feel his emotions without guilting him, before helping rein it all back in.

• he has his rougher moments but he's mostly just a dickhead when he's angry. i still want him, thank yewww.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson concept #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #stranger things season 4 #stranger things imagine #eddie munson angst

[joyswonderland1108]

Please take time to read this

Hello, i’m ranting again but ffs Army are infuriating i simply cannot.. I’m making this post for my queer people but also for my non-queer people but who support the LGBTQ community. Again sometimes i’m really bad with words, i really don’t know how to put shit out there correctly but please bear with me. 

So i’ve been on tiktok and that lovely girlie’s video popped up on my fyp (the same girlie i posted yesterday), basically the caption on the video was “Me watching homophobic “armys” throwing a fit bc queer armys find comfort in Jimin’s queercoded lyrics”, me being me i checked the comments and i come across shit like this 

The way people are so very against any of BTS members being anything but straight and like to throw the “don’t assume” stupid comment, that “they never came out” “they never said it themselves” yada yada, bitch do you even know what queer coded means? Do you know what a code means to begin with? 

People seem to forget that these men are in an environment that doesn’t allow them to just “come out” they can’t just fucking shout to the world that they’re fucking gay Patricia! 

 It’s the fact that Jimin has been dropping hints here and there to HOPEFULLY people can understand, can get the fucking message, but people are still out there wanting him to just say it as it is, they don’t understand the effort it take to fucking come out in a homophobic country in a God forsaken industry with entitled fans who can’t accept idols being non-hetero. 

It’s like people are trying their best to break Jimin’s effort in trying to “set himself free” as he fucking just said from all this bullshit, from holding back, from “HIDING” bitch he literally said that wtf do you think he’s hiding from? The monster under his bed? The muffin man in his closet? Wake the fuck up! You’re stanning a man but refuse to understand him, refuse to give him a chance to express himself without having to put himself in a tough position.

I remember sharing before this one video from a tiktoker who made a joke about how queer celebrities deal with dating questions when they didn’t necessarily come out or weren’t intending to but still were trying to drop hints :

(Matt Taylor)

It is already hard enough for queer people to be accepted in this society and people keep on making it harder for them. People saying that your own personal interpretation shouldn’t be imposed on what Jimin means, if y’all keep on acting this way when the fuck are we ever going to understand him? Are we always going to put his efforts in vain? That man simply CANNOT COME OUT and you know what? He doesn’t HAVE to either, why tf do people think he will just trust such an entitled fandom to come out to them? 

Bitches be really quick to deny the fact that they’re simply homophobic but Jan, could you please enlighten me on why tf do you get so fucking defensive whenever anyone mentions the possibility of any of these men being queer? Them assholes aren’t even ready to accept that Yoongi, the man who ACTUALLY said it, is queer let alone making effort to understand Jimin. 

I won’t say this enough, i will obviously not repeat it enough but THIS is why Yoongi said that FANS, MOTHERFUCKING FANS will understand not Army cause y’all only hold the fandom’s name nothing more. So fucking entitled and want everything handed to them on a silver plate. Now the narrative is that queer people aren’t “supposed to look a certain way” aka members who look “manly” are surely not queer. Yesterday again i came across a tiktok of a dude doing a prank to his BOYFRIEND, here’s what they look like : 

Now don’t bullshit me on “this is not what i mean when i say manly” cause i know perfectly that this is the exact image some people picture in their head for how men looking like that can’t be gay. You want Jimin to feel comfortable enough to come live often, to share things with us, to see him perform, bla bla bla but how tf can he be comfortable with your sick asses when he can’t even be given a chance to be understood, to not put him under the projector? 

People assume that you just gotta tell the world about your sexuality and that’s it, easy peasy lemon squeezy, such a happy world and everybody will be accepting yey

You don’t know the struggle of fighting to let yourself known to others without being put in a risky situation as a common person let alone as a celebrity in a very unforgiving industry, people tend to forget that it can be career threatening, so just for your own comfort you’ll have these men risking everything just so you can have that verbal validation? 

I’m going back to the term “Queer coded” It’s called that way because there are “CODES” used by a person to hint to their sexuality and if your illiterate asses could spare 5 mins to google what that means y’all would’ve been 10 times smarter. 

If you can’t support Jimin, or any member really, the right way, please see yourself out these 7 men really don’t need no more of these people as part of this fandom, it’s already hard with straight up haters and now they have to deal with supposed “fans” who can’t do shit correctly. 

So please for my queer people, let's do our best to support and let our boy know that we understand we get it and we are sending him all of our love and for people who support the community and still understood Jimin and are supporting as well, thank you, thank you so much for being amazing, thank You.

#we love you park jimin #queers for park jimin

[donnabenevientosimpingzone]

Complex feelings and absolute pandemonium about my mental health aside- going back to reread and look at old posts to relive memories (mostly the very bad cuz I was not a good person when I was in the fandom and am beyond embarrassed about it-) has been an absolute disaster of a healing journey.

May be redrawing some old sketches as a checkpoint of that, so comic updates are going to slow.

I ask that everyone remain polite to my wishes and not tag anyone who you see my art addressing. For example if a draw or redraw fanart from a fanfic, do not reblog tagging the author.

Most certainly I am not remembered fondly by those people, and that’s okay.

In my answer to the Donna headcannons ask, I included one very specific relationship headcannon. It’s not a coincidence- that was me. Back when I was part of this fandom during its peak- I was that lil toxic jerk that ruined shit for other people. I have no excuses for this- young and dumb, pretherapy, unknowingly, flat out being stupid- it doesn’t excuse my actions. As much as I wanted to be a good person- I was not- I did good things- but at my core I was rotting. I still am tending to parts of it.

People are going to remember me as that lil toxic jerk. That’s why I hope ya’ll respect my wishes as I redraw old stuff. Everyone deserves to enjoy their passions without someone, something- a memory- ruining it (again) for them.

I’m sharing these redraws because there’s a story here I hope people take inspiration from. Whether the story is about forgiving others for their past mistakes, learning that you’re not alone, or embracing your embarrassments- that’s different for every person. If that story is lost on people, I have every right to delete it all.

And as for that headcannon, Donna has and always will be the person who trekked beside me through this hellscape that is my mind. As I’ve written stories and drawn more where she gets that happy ending, I see a road for myself- as corny as that could have possibly sounded. There are weights I carry that I must learn to let go- memories of people who have come into my life for a season and changed me forever that probably even despise me now- and one of them is going to be Donna eventually.

Eventually.

For now she’s still very much on the forefront of my mind lmao.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk<3

And for you, you know who you are- the one who was the largest victim of my toxic foolery and had the unfortunate responsibility where I crashed upon you from tumblr dms and just wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone because of your work- if you’re by any slim possible fucking chance you’re reading this: thank you for moving on. It sounds so silly, but abandoning me was the right choice, despite all my abandonment issues. I cannot ask for forgiveness after the manipulative bullshit I did to you- the best that I can ask is that your best is an even better person then before for those that’ll have the blessing to be let into your life. Which, from what I’ve read on the latest update to said work, I am reassured you have.

#donna beneviento #shitpost

[sapphire-weapon]

hello there, how's your day going :)

i know you've talked about this before, i've seen your answer myself but i just have to say this one to let out some frustration in me lol

i've been scrolling down on tiktok for some eagleone content and whenever i see a video slightly about them there's like "siblings fr" / "brother-sister" captions and it's making me almost fume LMFAOO

what the HELL are these people talking about seriously.

and the comments are even worse, saying "so glad everyone is thinking of them as siblings" kinda shit

i have this urge....urge to puke bc whAT 🗣️🗣️❗❗

like, say something normal like "good friends" or "platonic" at least if you can't see them as a ship, since NOTHING in RE4make between Leon and Ashley are sibling-like to me and im sure many people who know smt little about body language can tell that

i just think this is some kinda propaganda to stop ppl shipping eagleone at this point lol some new ppl could indeed feel bad about shipping them if the majority of the ppl they see on social media see them as... siblings *pukes*

however it makes me wanna write some juicy, intense smut with the ship just to rile these ppl up haha

(thanks for reading this nonsense babbling)

.....

I know it's frustrating, anon. It's easy to ignore one person being dumb and wrong, because your brain can more easily go "ha ha look at what the jackass said" and move on. But to see people being stupid and wrong en masse over and over and over again is a little soul-crushing.

I'm personally going through this with the goddamn mafia background shit. I've kind of reached a point where I'd rather be trapped in a room with the entirety of Aeon fandom than have to bear witness to even just one more motherfucker who actually thinks that Leon is actually legitimately meant to be seen as Italian by Capcom -- ESPECIALLY after seeing what he looks like in Remake -- because apparently half of the people in RE fandom have never actually seen an Italian person in their fucking life. And, as someone from New Jersey, I take that shit personally. My stepdad's last name is Renzulli. Don't fucking tell me that Leon Scott fucking Kennedy is meant to be the son of Italian immigrants.

But I think what's important to bear in mind is that nothing that dumbasses say in this fandom -- no matter how many they are or how many times they say their stupid bullshit -- changes what the canon actually is or says. Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok dumbasses especially have no power over RE canon. When game devs look for fan response, they look for actual fan response to their official tweets and blog posts, as well as some forums (hello ResetEra), prominent content creators on Twitch and Youtube and what their audiences are saying, and game reviews (as well as comments posted on game reivews). No one at Capcom gives a singular flying fuck what the deeper fandom side of fandom is doing or saying, because they know that most of us are certifiable.

So, as rage-inducing as it is, we gotta just let some things go, man.

Leon/Ashley is a canonical romance, intended to be viewed as romantic by Capcom, and that's not going to change no matter how many thinly-veiled misogynists try to bad-faith morality police their way around fandom otherwise.

Leon Kennedy has no official backstory per canon and has never, in any way, shape, or form, been modeled or portrayed in a way that's meant to be viewed as Italian or in a way that makes sense with the idea he has mafia ties in his family or background.

Anyone who ever tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.

Remember: if it's not in the games, it's not canon. And what is in the games is a romance. Full stop.

So, if you can channel that rage into something productive like smut, please, for the love of god, do. It's a way better response than getting yourself all riled up. And this ship needs more creators putting stuff in the tag, besides.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #eagleone

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

we need more vivi hurt/comfort in this fandom. #25 prompt (“I’m going to ask you how you are and I would like you to answer me honestly.”) from Artie to Vi if you're up for it? 💛🩵

(hurt/comfort dialogue prompts)

(oof god i'm rusty with these characters. let's get into it)

"I'm fine," she says, for what feels like the millionth time.

"Bullshit," is Arthur's response. "I'm down an arm, Vi, not my fucking eyes. And ho- honestly, I wouldn't- wouldn't even need th-those to tell right now." A hand lands on her shoulder, pushing her down further into the chair for emphasis. "One more try. I'm gonna ask you how you are, and it'd be nice if you c-could answer me honestly."

She shoves him off and stands up, already stalking away, ignoring the shooting pain all up through her side when she does. "God, fuck you. Fuck off. This is so stupid. I don't need,"

And then her vision whites out.

---

She blinks herself fuzzily awake into a world much softer than the one she was just in. She's in bed, she registers, or at least a pile of blankets. The pain is gone, but it also feels like everything else isn't quite online, either. There's a vague clicking noise from somewhere to her right.

"...you hovering all the time," she finishes her thought, although it comes out too mumbly to really deliver.

"j'you say sa- s-something?" The clicking noise stops, and an Arthur appears in her field of view. He looks worried. So, like normal.

"Yeah, uh, what? Why am I in bed?"

Now he just looks exasperated, throwing his hand up in annoyance, which is an improvement at least. "You passed out, stupid! And th-th-then when I freak out, out about it you're all like oh no never mind it's whatever fr- from the fucking floor. 'Why am I in bed.' Dumbass."

She only vaguely remembers that, not that she's going to admit it. Well, okay, question answered. She tries to get up, and Arthur immediately shoves her back into the pillow.

"Hey," she protests.

He makes his usual staccato ch-ch-ch disapproval noise, which she usually thinks is cute when it isn't directed at her. "Nope. I j-just got done bandaging you up, you are not getting up. You, you are st-staying right here."

She tries to wrestle him off, but he's annoyingly persistent and her angle's all off. "Okay, I'm patched up! So it's fine! Let me out!"

Whup, and her hand is flat against the bed, and Arthur's hanging out of his chair to get his arm over her chest and pin her down. "No."

Probably she could flip him. Maybe. He'd hit the wall behind her but not, like, hard. She thinks about it. It's really hard to lift even the non-pinned arm. Maybe she couldn't.

"Stop being stupid," she tells him instead, sounding normal and not at all desperate. "This is nothing."

"It is- v-very much- not nothing."

"This can't be enough to stop me. It isn't! I'm better than this!"

"Get up, th-then!" he challenges.

"I'm not a fucking tranq'd animal!"

He yells wordlessly at her, she shouts back, until they're both panting.

She shoves him again, no real force behind it this time. This is such a waste of fucking time, when he damn well knows they never have enough of it. "I need to get up. You need me out there, you know that."

"Go to hell."

Now tears are welling in her eyes. She's screaming at herself, internally, but for some stupid reason it's not translating into more strength. "We're wasting time, here. I'm ready to go, I can move, I can work. Let me up."

He flops over, into a less aggressive pin, but not actually a less effective one. Their faces are almost touching, which was maybe the idea. "One more try," he says, again.

His damn stubbornness is another thing that she likes more when it isn't being used on her. This is not a fight she is going to win.

"If I fall asleep," she says reluctantly, "and you're not there when I wake up, I'm going to fucking kill you."

That gets a laugh out of him. "M'not going anywhere, Vi."

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #answrs #swift writes #ask game #mystery skulls animated #oops. i'm using that tag i guess #uh. is this how i normally characterize these guys? i don't remember. this is how i write them now anyway! #lewis is their balancing force that keeps less than 50% of their dialogue from being variations on ''fuck you'' #which is also very fun coming from pla where everyone is sooo polite and formal all the time. and these two are. Not That. #uh. other commentary on this. i actually don't know where this is set #it could be just a swap scenario where vivi's the one with the memories but idk. i feel like it's somethin else. smthn less canon adjacent #ALSO vivi and arthur are both such like. ''please let me die for you'' level devoted to their friends. tho they express it v differently #and vivi's like. she's gotta be the strongest and bravest and most powerful because if ANYTHING HURTS THEM SHE WILL FULLY SNAP #...and then obviously implicitly here Something Happened to lewis. which exacerbated the problem #meanwhile arthur is like. no fighting. it's not the time for fighting now is the time to sit down and let me fix you. tell me what you need #-and i'll fucking rearrange reality to get it. #and then they scream at each other about it! normal friends who are normal.

[thatbanditqueen]

Your NOWOOBD was the first fanfic I read about Elvis and I will come back and read it again when I get depressed because it brings me out of it. I hope that doesn’t sound weird 🙈 thank you 💞

Oh my dearest darling anon,

Ack, you are making me feel feelings, because I can relate to this so hard, and therefore it cannot be weird if we are BOTH like this, right? I get depressed too, ups and downs, stupid life, stupid feeling isolated and alone and it is my connection with my friends in this fandom and my obsession with an amazing strange eccentric contradictory kinda fucked up baby man that often gets me through my day, His photos, music, movies, interview clips, and a lot of the time, the friends I have made in this amazing community seriously have held up through a bunch of bullshit. Big things, or just, you know, getting out of bed. This includes you, and I want to hug you tight and tell you how beautiful you are and thank you for holding me up and being an Elvis dork with you, let's hang out, I would love know how you got into Elvis and what other fic you read or what E eras, songs, movies, etc. you are into.

Since you read No One Walks Out on Big Daddy, I'll share that I have been into his 1974 live album Elvis Recorded Live on Stage in Memphis lately. I love the set list and I love hearing him talk to the audience honestly I could just listen to Elvis talk to me for hours about karate, numerology, horses, cars, guns, whatever, just put your head in my lap and lay it on me.

love you lots and bunches

xoxox

norahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#elvis presley #no one walks out on big daddy #big daddy elvis #bandit queen asks #elvis fanfiction #elvis x oc #elvis smut #elvis presley fanfiction #elvis #thanks this made my night

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 11 react

ok i found chapter 11 translated by amnemonie on tumblr (thank you thank you thank you and if you want me to take this down i will!!) but there's no guarantee ill be able to find the rest lmAOo we'll see

HOT MAN!!! HOT MAN

i mean what no pathetic sopping wet man

cat face izaya i thought id never see you again

man after realizing there's a minidura tag i saw a post that was like "i wish minidura got animated like bsd wan" and like. YEAH. PLEASE

it would be the perfect revival of the durarara fandom pleaseeeeeee do it for meeeeeeee we could revive durarara like we revived trigun

and i need shizuo izaya and shinra cooking together being animated. please

anyway izaya looks like he really doesnt wanna be here in that last panel and i mildly spoiled myself on the comments/reblogs saying this one is really mean to izaya which you know i live for. [cracks knuckles] i hope he gets hit by a truck but like an emotional one because that's the only one he'd really react to

oh god he's more pathetic than i thought he'd be

they're really looking at him like "damn bitch you good" which is fair

bro summoned up all his courage to ask 😭rip bozo

??????????? THEY TOLD YOU HE'D BE WITH THEM

izaya simultaneously has the best social skills known to man and the WORST social skills known to man

ill never stop bringing this up but. now presenting orihara "i love humans because they're so unpredictable" izaya getting fucked by humans' predictability everybody

and here we see izaya walking awkwardly in his natural habitat, trying to eat cake with high schoolers /j

kadota casually calling out izaya on his bullshit bkgjdSGKHDSHds

he just wants to eat cakeeeee someone go with him

not me though i wouldnt be caught dead with that man

i swear walker's face gets longer every time i see him and it tickles me so much

aaaand cue shizuo on stage right

god bless erika for suggesting that he invite shizuo cuz id have done it myself

also "just today". are you implying that you want to see shizuo every other day. izaya.

WAIT

WAIT IS TODAY IZAYA'S BIRTHDAY

OH

oh my god thats actually sad okay

id say to ask namie but namie probably rejected him already without even letting him finish the question bkfdgjhgf

shinra keeping up the stupid anniversaries trend from that other chapter we love a consistent malewife

man shiki he wasnt even here for work 😭 at least he got some food although karasumi does not look that good if im being honest

at least compared to cake

shinraaaa you FORGOTTTT

may 4th is the date of my statistics exam but i swear ill celebrate it for you izaya. ill even mark it down on my calendar

oh 💀 namie is as delusional as i am. love that for her

he's even singing to himself ohhhhh poor baby...(i say this as if i'm not grinning wildly to myself in my room rn)

i swear i feel bad for him but he's so fun to bully

man i remember those fics where shizuo was the only one to remember izaya's birthday bgkjhfdgfd i guess those were founded from somewhere (even if his gifts were things like 'not chasing him today' or sending him black roses)

oh my god 😭 he's so desperate at this point i didnt think he'd actually be happy to see shizu-chan

even grabbing him by the arms bkgdssdkahdskjhgsdsd

this is gonna end badly though if the comments/reblogs i read have anything to say about it

😭yep the izaya bullying is real

SHIZUO NOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS BASICALLY THE WHOLE CAKE

izaya's conscious too 💀 MAN

part of me feels like this is narita's personal revenge against the shizaya fans in his fanbase askdbgskjhsdhgsd shizuo needs to be extra cruel to prove he's not gay

he's so happy to just get birthday textssssss this is so sad

#shizaya #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #shinra kishitani #celty sturulson #oh wait i just remembered that tagging all these names clogs up the tags. FUCK #i should. stop doing that bskdgjgshjgsdhg #have to learn my lesson from doing the incorrect lov account #durarara

[tsarisfanfiction]

Braids: Chapter 2

Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rating: Gen Genre: Family Characters: Michael Yew, Apollo Cabin I know it's a fluff fic but we do have some grumpy Michael in this one, which brings in the Michael Yew Swears A Lot tag from AO3! I have a discord server for all my fics, including this one!  If you wanna chat with me or with other readers about stuff I write (or just be social in general), hop on over and say hi! Character ages this chapter: Michael - 11 Laura - 17 <<Chapter 1

2) Laura

Michael was bored.  Most of the cabin were in the woods for Capture the Flag, which was a game Michael was determined to take part in one day, but so far had been banned for being “too small”, which was bullshit, in his opinion.  He could still fight!

Emily had been firm, though.  “It’s for your own safety,” she’d told him.  “I’m sure you’ll be able to join in next summer.”

She’d said the same fucking thing last year.  If she said it again next year, Michael was going to shoot her.  Sometimes Emily was fine, but then sometimes she could be a real bitch.  He’d tried to sneak in anyway, but his bow had disappeared and Emily had caught him and directed him away.

Chiron had offered to let him watch with him, but if Michael couldn’t join then he wasn’t going to fucking watch everyone else having a good time without him, so he had stormed into the cabin to sulk.

Sulking didn’t stop boredom, though.  Michael had clambered up to his bunk, because that was his space and no-one ever came up there, but there was nothing to do.  His fingers itched to at least fletch an arrow if he couldn’t shoot, but that was yet another fucking thing he wasn’t allowed to do without godsdamned supervision.

They ended up in his hair instead, tugging it out of its ponytail.  It was finally long enough to tie up without looking stupid and even when he was mad at his cabin mates, the feel of his hair on the back of his neck and brushing his shoulders made him relax, a little.  This felt right.

He’d braided Ceri’s hair a few times, now, but they still looked awful and Michael didn’t like that.  Ceri had made it very clear that she didn’t mind – she never took the braids out until bedtime, no matter how much it unravelled – but Michael did because braids weren’t supposed to be difficult but he hadn’t really got the hang of them yet.

His fingers ran through his hair again, and he realised that with everyone else not there, he could practice without anyone judging him.

He knew his attempts at Ceri’s hair were judged, even though no-one ever said anything bad about them.

Immediately, Michael realised one problem: braiding his own hair was completely different to braiding someone else’s.  He had to hold his wrists in weird positions to reach the back of his head, and he couldn’t keep the three sections apart.  Whichever strands he had hanging loose kept getting tangled up with other sections, and he’d start picking up the wrong hair and turning his hair into a total knot rather than a braid.

“Fucking piece of shit,” he snarled at it as his fingers got caught up and his first attempt to retrieve them ended with his fingers completely snarled up in hair.  “Fuck.”

He was so busy swearing at the wannabe braid that he missed the cabin door opening.

“Michael?  Are you in here?”

“Fuck off!” he retorted instantly, not even registering who it was.  “Go play your stupid game.”

His half-sister – he wasn’t sure which one without looking, but it was one of the summer campers, because he knew the year-rounders’ voices immediately now – didn’t do as she was told.  Without anyone else in the cabin, her footsteps were loud against the floor and Michael tensed as the sound came to a stop by his bunk.

“What if I’d rather keep you company?” she asked, and he reluctantly looked over the edge of his bunk to see who was bothering him.  Dark brown hair and pointy cheek bones belonged to Laura, one of the older girls in the cabin.

“I don’t want company,” he snapped back, which was only a lie because he wanted to be with the rest of the cabin in the forest.  He didn’t want a babysitter.

The top of her head ducked down, and Michael lost track of her.  “Okay,” she said from below him – fuck, was she on the empty bunk underneath his?  “I’ll be here if you change your mind.”  There was the sound of a page turning and Michael realised she had picked up a book from who-fucking-know-where.

Whatever.

Michael tugged at his hands again, extracting his fingers from the snare he’d made of his own hair, and he swore again because now his hair was a fucking mess and his brush was on top of his dresser, which meant he had to leave his bunk to get at it.

Fucking damn it.

Grumpily, he threw himself down the ladder far enough to lean across to grab the brush, sticking the handle in his mouth as he clambered back up again.

“You might find it easier to do a smaller braid,” Laura said suddenly and he jumped, almost losing his grip on the latter.  “Ceri has a lot of hair and it’s quite a handful, but you don’t have to do it all at once.”

Michael glared through the rungs of his ladder at where she was laying on the bottom bunk, not even looking away from her book.

“So fucking what?” he demanded, and then she moved, putting a bookmark between the pages and sitting up.

“Let me show you what I mean?” she asked, but her hand was headed for his hair and fuck no, Michael hadn’t let anyone touch his fucking hair in a year and that wasn’t changing now.  He scurried out of reach.

“Fuck off.”

She backed off straight away, her hand changing target and going for her own hair instead.  “Okay,” she said, “how about I show you using my hair?”

As she spoke, she took a small part of her hair near her face and started twisting it into a skinny braid.  Michael couldn’t follow what her fingers were doing, or why they she wasn’t dropping one of the sections constantly.  She finished the whole braid without saying anything else, and it was fucking neat.

“How the fuck did you do that?” he demanded.  She patted the bunk next to her.

“I’ll show you,” she said.  “We’ll use my hair, don’t worry.”

Wary, but curious, Michael slunk back down his ladder and swung himself onto the bunk.  She unravelled the braid she’d just done, then held out the same section of hair to him.  He took it silently.

“Split it into three, the same way you do with Ceri’s hair,” Laura told him.  Michael did, finding how thin each section was weird.  Laura’s hair was a lot sleeker than Ceri’s, too.  He held them the same way, with one section in each hand and the middle one hanging loose.

He flinched when Laura’s hands came up and hovered near his, not quite touching but fucking close.  “Let me show you how to hold it?” she asked.  “You might struggle with how much hair Ceri has, but for braids like these, there’s a way to do it that means you don’t keep dropping any hair.”

Michael hesitated, but he wanted to know.  “Fine,” he said shortly, and watched Laura’s hands closely as they came in contact with his.  Gently, she shifted his fingers until one of the sections of hair was held between his pointer and middle finger, while another was held between his thumb and finger on the same hand.

It felt fucking weird.

She made his other hand also hold the third section between his fingers.  “This way, you have your thumb and finger free to grab the hair,” she explained, placing her hands over his and demonstrating.  He copied her, and found himself taking one of the strands from his other hand.  “Now you can cross them over like this.”

It was an awkward twist, but Michael was stubborn and determined.  Laura guided him into shifting his grip on the one section left in that hand, and then they did the same thing in the reverse.

Slowly, they made their way down the braid.  It still didn’t look that neat, bulky and messy at the top where he’d started, but by the time they reached the end of her hair, it was starting to look a bit like an actual braid.

Laura let him look at it for a moment, before running her fingers through it and getting rid of it.  Michael’s chest ached a little, but then he blinked when she handed the section back to him again.

“Practice makes perfect,” she told him.  “Do you want me to guide you through this one again, or try by yourself?”

Michael split it back into sections and tried to remember how to hold them all at once.  It took him a couple of attempts, but he managed to get them awkwardly positioned between his fingers again.  He didn’t answer Laura, instead launching straight into his second attempt at the braid.

Within a couple of twists, it was a mass of knots.  “Fuck.”

Laura swooped in and rescued her hair, undoing Michael’s awful braiding attempt.  She gave it back to him again, though.  “I’ll guide you again,” she suggested, and he grumbled but agreed.

She stopped guiding him halfway through their third attempt, and Michael focused hard on making sure he got it right.

It went a bit messier, but it was some of the best braiding he’d ever done.

Laura didn’t destroy that one.  Instead, she grabbed another section of hair, a bit further back on her head, and offered that to him again.  “Try this one by yourself,” she suggested.

Michael fumbled the first few twists, but found the rhythm after that.  He was slow, but the braid was looking like an actual fucking braid, and he was proud of that.

By the time Capture the Flag was over and their siblings came back, Laura’s hair was full of small, occasionally wonky, braids, and Michael had almost forgotten that he was upset at being forced to sit the game out.

Chapter 3>

#percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson fanfiction #michael yew #cabin seven #apollo cabin #laura piper #original character #tsari writes fanfiction #braids

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Character & Relationship Ramblings - Ep 11

Last week on Everyone (put a pin in that everyone, because I think we're having trouble with it) Here is Messy, Boeing was doing his best to mess with the reconciliation of Top and Mew. Top shut him down pretty fast because my man is smart and he doesn't want anything getting in the way of Mew forgiving him, but Mew entertained the idea a little too much for most of fandom to handle. I, however, thought it was very understandable if not entirely the best choice. Atom accused Boston of raping him and no one stopped to think that maybe that was a tiny exaggeration on the little weasel's part because apparently being a slut means one is capable of anything (okay yes also because of what he did with Top, but let's not pretend that's the only reason here) and I nearly blew a fuse. And Ray found out that his dad had hired Sand to get him off the sauce and in predictable Ray fashion flew off the handle about it, leaving Sand devastated. He later learned what we all should have guessed (although lbr some people really want to think that Sand is awful in any way they can, lol): Sand had the money practically forced on him and still returned it, because he cares more about Ray than he does about his bank account (this is wild to me as I care way more about my bag, but I repeat, that is not Sand at all. I repeat this because people seem to be having a problem getting that). Ray then actually decided to give his rehab thing a real chance and had a breakdown in front of an imaginary Sand that actually made me cry a little. I'm not made entirely of stone, people. Just mostly.

So full disclosure, the real reason this is coming so late is that I've been hoping that the longer I wait the less irritated I'll be, but unfortunately the reverse seems to be happening. So I guess we're doing this full steam ahead (ftr, the steam is coming out of my ears).

Also once again I'm not ranking because only two characters really pissed me off this week, so we'll just ramble and then I'll put the Sand part behind a cut because he's the one I have the most feelings about this ep (and also that is where you should stop reading to avoid my apparently unpopular opinions).

Character Rambles

Atom & Cheum. I'm just gonna get these two out of the way because they are the ones that irritated me and since I've been banging this fucking drum for so many weeks that we're probably all very tired of it now. I do not know what the hell is up with this show when it comes to this stupid "Boston SAd me" plot, but I don't think I like it. Actually, I know I don't like it. I did say that I understood where Cheum was coming from in part last week and I stand by that, but the least Boston deserves from her is an apology for the way she came at him now that she knows it isn't true. But I doubt he'll get it. Or if he does it'll be the same bullshit he got from Nick - well what can you expect when you're like you are? The poor lad was just dickmatized, give him a break. NO. The idea that Boston needs to give someone e break for accusing him of rape boggles my mind, as does the constant implication that he's somehow earned all of this because he sleeps around. And no, I will never shut up about this.

I suppose at least Atom seems to realize that what he did was supremely fucked up, but I'm not sure it really matters when everyone is rushing to act like it's just one of those things that happens, and at least he learned something new about himself (looking at you, Cheum, because don't think I've forgotten you literally accused Boston of turning him gay last episode)!

I have said it before and I'm sure there will be a whole rant about it next ep, but the entire attitude towards Boston's promiscuity really puts me off. It's not the characters, either - a lot of people have some really fucked up ideas about sex and purity and morality - it's the show itself. There are ways to have the characters doing or believing things that the narrative explicitly disagrees with - hell, Jojo has done it before - so the fact that they really don't seem to be doing that here makes me feel like whoever wrote this agrees that Boston kind of deserves what he gets. And I am not a fan of that line of thinking. Even if Boston were truly as reprehensible as everyone thinks he is, it still doesn't make it right to do the things people keep doing to him. That line of thinking is insane to me. And honestly a lot of the problem I have here is that the show keeps explicitly conflating his promiscuity with being a bad person. Over and over again. It's never about the other shitty things he's done, it's always about him sleeping around. I hate it.

Boston. Since we're here, lol. I still love him. His journey has been the most fascinating one for me as we've gone on, mostly because it's been in increments. I said this last week, but Boston has been taking slow, steady steps to growth this entire time - and IMO it has very little to do with sex (but more on that later). This entire show has been a journey of Boston coming to terms with some of his less savory habits - breaking things because he can, not respecting or maybe not understanding that his way of doing things is not the only or best way, etc - and deciding how he wants to handle them.

This isn't me saying Boston is utterly wrong or whatever - you'll never hear that from me. He's an asshole in many ways though, and there is a part of him that has come to question why, and to maybe think that there is a better way of handling himself than he has been. He's also slowly gone from being very "I'm going to care about me and get mine" to thinking more about others - not saying he'll ever be the type of person that cares overmuch beyond a few set people and I don't think he'll ever stop putting himself first, nor do I necessarily think that's a bad thing, but he's definitely started to factor other people's feelings into his actions more. Maybe understanding more now that even if he's not necessarily wrong, he doesn't need to be quite so blunt force about everything. I think it's gone mostly unnoticed because there are others who are making changes with big displays, while Boston's have been almost entirely internal and only reflected on occasion through is discussions with Nick. It really struck me last episode and it continues to strike me as we go on, and I'm into it. Also Neo has just been killing this role. I can't get over how good he is.

Nick. Speaking of growing, this is the first ep where I really realized just how much Nick has done. I really hope that growth includes never bugging his fuck buddy's anything again, but I'm not entirely hopeful about that since his go to to catch Atom out in his lie was to entrap him via video recording. Sigh.

He was enjoyable for the most part this ep. I don't like him telling Boston not to be mad at Atom but I do completely understand Nick feeling some sort of kinship with him. Both of them fell for Boston after just one time, lol. That said, there was this look on his face when it was mentioned that Atom only fell for Boston because he was his first, and it makes me wonder if he was coming to a few realizations himself.

Top. TOP! I just loved him this episode. I have said before that he would be perfectly within his rights to tell Mew that enough was enough, and I was happy he did this episode. I thought he was very mature about it, actually - he knows he fucked up, he's known it pretty much since it happened and he owns that, but he's not wrong in saying that if Mew can't stop punishing him they will never work. It's very clear to me that he desperately wants it to - he is all in on Mew - but I liked that he said he'd walk away if Mew couldn't find it in him to forgive him.

Mew. I said that I understood his pettiness and I meant it, but I'm also glad it ended this episode. Look, I get the need to hurt someone who hurt you, and I very much get the petty urge to keep doing it until you're satisfied. The problem is that sometimes you just keep doing it, you push and hurt and hurt and push even past the point where it even feels good anymore because ultimately, you can't get over it, and it just breaks everything. Love and hurt and maybe a little bit of hate are warring inside Mew, and yeah, it feels good at first to hurt back.

But I think he came to the realization in this episode that his need to strike back at Top really wasn't worth losing him, because for better or for worse Mew loves him. He had to make a conscious choice this ep to actually forgive Top for what he did, and I think he rose well to the occasion. I really liked that he made sure to warn Top that he might bring it up again when they fight to hurt him - it's not pretty, but it's very self-aware, which I have come to expect from Mew. He might get hot headed sometimes but when he decides to reflect he doesn't fuck around. See too his acknowledgment that he probably won't be Top's last boyfriend, but that he wants to try with him anyway.

I also enjoyed how easily he dismissed Boeing and how little he let him get in his head, but to be fair Mew had Boeing sussed very quickly and was only ever going to entertain him right up until the point when he was no longer useful. Mew had less than zero emotional investment in that dude or his opinions once he stopped trying to flirt with Top, lol.

Boeing. Here is my conundrum with Boeing: I both love and loathe him. Honestly, he amuses the hell out of me. It should be impossible for one person to be so slimy and yet here he is doing the most constantly and it is very, very funny. The way he is merrily bouncing from couple to couple like some kind of video game boss (or the final endurance test in a stress challenge) amuses me so much and I desperately need someone more talented than I am to find a way to make it a meme. But I'm conflicted, because right now he's messing with Sand (yes SAND, that's his primary target and frankly I don't really care about Ray being collateral damage because one, he's actively making it worse and two, it feels like the rest of this fandom is doing that for me) and I have feelings about the way my favorite dude looks so miserable every time Boeing shows his smirky face (even if it is a pretty one).

Also he's basically got Ray doing the job of driving Sand away from him and he really didn't have to do much to get there. All the man had to do is make a few pointed comments and smirk and now he's got Ray doing the dirty work for him. It's amazing. I genuinely can't wait to see what he has in store for Boston and Nick (and I have my suspicions. More on that later).

Ray. He was absolutely adorable for like 95% of this episode. I really like him in boyfriend mode, lol. I also feel like he was mostly sober through the ep, too. I think that's great, and while I wish there were a little more about what he's doing to wean himself off of the alcohol, I have also come to the understanding that the show is not choosing to focus on it too much. I will just be glad they focused on it at all and move along. Honestly I should have expected it - if they were planning on dealing with Ray's alcohol problems in depth they would have started it earlier, lol.

The one quibble I have with him is at the end of the ep. While I can understand him being upset, it's pretty clear to me that so is Sand, and Ray is too focused on his own pissiness about Boeing to either see that or care if he does see it. Sorry guys I know everyone is saying it's insecurity and worry that he'll lose Sand but that just isn't what I'm getting from him at all. I don't think he thinks that Boeing is anywhere near his level or a real threat to him for Sand's affection, I think he's just pissed because Sand's not handling it the way he wants him to - which is by shutting Boeing down hard. And while I can understand and appreciate his ire, the way he's going about trying to force it is completely disrespectful to Sand. If Sand misstepped by sending Ray away to deal with Boeing on his own (which I don't really think was the horrible misstep people are making it out to be, but more on that later), then Ray is misstepping by ignoring Sand's clear wish for him not to insert himself by deliberately inserting himself and trying to provoke Sand into action.

If he's lucky it won't backfire right in his face (Ray has no fucking clue who he's playing with here, Boeing flat out does not respect Sand or his relationship and all Ray's doing here is showing his own damn belly and exposing the both of them to more mind games), but I don't think he will be.

Which brings me to the thing that has had my blood boiling since Saturday.

This is a good point to stop if you're not in the mood for half-essay, very probably half-rant.

Sand. Before I start, let me disclaim a little: I freely admit my biases here - for a ton of other people in this fandom Only Friends is The Ray Show, but for me it is and has always been All About Sand - and my own hypocrisies. I will defend Sand for things that I will not defend other characters for (although I do try hard to be as objective as possible with varied success, lol), and Ray has gotten it in the teeth from me more than once simply because he's often the character hurting my baby, possibly (probably) unfairly at times. Ray's done a lot of shit, but I admit that I see that heartbroken look on Sand's face and my objectivity tends to go out the window. It's why I understand all the posts about how much Sand sucks for the supreme crime of making Ray unhappy, but it's also why they make me furious.

I am going to pose a question here, for people that have been brave enough to read this far and who are genuinely worried that Sand and Boeing are gonna fuck: what in all the world has made you think that Sand would cheat on Ray? Is it just general fear combined with blorbo love?

Because okay I can get behind that, if so - I was utterly convinced last week that Ray and Boeing were gonna sleep together myself, and if I'm entirely honest I still expect some supreme stupidity of the Ray/Boeing kind simply because Boeing's MO seems to be going after the new boyfriend (estranged or not) after rejection - and I do NOT want to hear it about Sand not rejecting him, almost every scene that man was rolling his eyes so hard at Boeing it's a surprise that he didn't give himself a headache. He might not have been forceful enough for Ray or the fandom, but he is definitely not giving me the impression he's interested (to be fair I don't think Ray is interested either - I do, however, think he's infinitely more reactive than Sand in a lot of ways and far more likely to do some dumb, impulsive shit).

But if not that, what is it? Because there has been nothing in canon to suggest that Sand would ever, so apparently I do need it explained to me like I am five.

Maybe I'm just a little too much like Sand myself, because what I mostly saw was a guy who still has a lot of issues stemming from his previous relationship being confronted with the source of most of those emotions and doing his best to eject himself from the situation with as little conflict as possible.

And I've seen a lot of posts really taking after him for it. For being so passive, for not telling Boeing Ray's his boyfriend, for telling Ray to leave him and Boeing to talk. Hell, I've even seen people blaming him for the bullshit that is the last part of the episode, and I'm sure if Ray and Boeing do make out or (heaven forbid but I honestly won't rule it out yet) fuck, they'll find a way to make it Sand's fault, too.

And the more I read, the more annoyed I get. Not surprised, mind - I've seen too much of fandom blaming everyone else for every shitty thing Ray does (again, not saying he has no right to be upset here. I am saying, however, his way of dealing with it is likely to cause more problems) for this to be a surprise - but definitely annoyed. Because this isn't OOC for Sand, this isn't incomprehensible. This isn't some foreign, new thing that he's doing that we simply can't understand because we don't have context. This is all stuff that Sand has been doing since as early as episode two. The only difference is that this time, he's doing it for and with someone Not Ray.

Facts about Sand.

He is way way way too patient and has a tendency to bend far too often. We see this over and over and over again with Ray, well before Sand even really starts liking him much. I do think that he saw a bit of a wounded bird in Ray and wanted to help, because Sand at heart is a caretaker, a fixer, someone who needs to be needed. I'm not saying any of these are good traits - they can be, but as with anything they can be taken too far. And Sand unfortunately has a tendency to let himself be pushed well past his own limits so long as he feels like the other person needs him. I know. It sucks to realize that all that boundary pushing he let Ray do wasn't just because Ray's special. Not so cute when he's doing it with someone else, huh?

When Sand cares about someone, he does it wholly. I know a lot of people don't like to acknowledge this, but all signs point to him caring about Boeing at one point. Hell, in my opinion all signs point to him being deeply in love with him, and even though I don't believe that Sand still harbors those feelings for him, nostalgia is a hell of a drug and Boeing keeps doing his level best to bring that out in Sand. And just because he might not be in love with him anymore doesn't mean Sand can shut off his instinct to defer, to put himself aside, because that's what he does when he cares about someone. I hate to bring this up but look how much he's put up with from Ray. And while I can understand the temptation to think that Ray is the only person he'd be like that with, it was also spelled out to us in the very beginning of the episode that that's not how it is. I would wager that that's why they took the time to spell it out - so we'd understand when Boeing came along that Sand can't shut that off just because Boeing sucks.

Sand likes to operate alone, especially when it comes to his feelings. How many times has he said outright he'd handle how he feels himself? How many times have we seen him withdraw to deal with his own feelings and lick his wounds in private? Whether or not Ray wants to be there for him - and frankly I think that might be reaching, because that last scene didn't feel like it was about Sand at all to me, it was about Ray and Boeing's pissing contest - Sand has never learned to accept that kind of help. Of course he'd send Ray away to deal with Boeing's bullshit on his own. It's his mess. And to be honest, if I were Sand I'd do it too, because the last thing he needs is his sleazy ass ex on one side and Ray - who he knows can be volatile when riled up, mind, having been on the receiving end of it more than once - on the other.

And here's a fact about what went down with Boeing that everyone is choosing to ignore: he did lay down boundaries. He made zero effort to pretend to be into whatever Boeing was saying, he told him he didn't want to go to the Arctic Monkeys concert, he told him he couldn't come over and that all he could give him was friendship. He also tried to limit Boeing's access to him to YOLO only...and then Ray came in and trampled all over it. And Boeing watched him do it with a smirk, because now Ray is doing his work for him. And it looks like he'll continue doing it next episode.

I have to confess that the amount of vitriol I've seen directed at Sand for being a tiny bit messy flabbergasts me. Be honest, guys: is it because Sand is just the designated love interest to you? Because that's what it is starting to feel like. There's nothing wrong with that but knowing for sure would help my blood pressure.

Relationship Rambles

SandBoeing. I know we probably don't have time for this, but I would pay money to see a flashback of what they were like together. I already know that their relationship was very serious, at least on Sand's end and possibly on Boeing's (although I've seen enough of this man sliming around to not really buy it even if he says it, haha), but I am so so curious what their dynamic was like. Boeing's "you never yell at me" was telling, I think. But again, that's Sand all over, sigh. He'll just bottle it all up until he can't, then woe betide the person he sets his sights on.

Next ep may make me eat my words, but I say again that do not think that Sand has any lingering feelings for Boeing that would actually be a threat to his current relationship - but I do think that he has lingering feelings about what happened with Boeing that could very well threaten it. I think Boeing is mainly here to test the foundations of these couple's relationships and see how well they stand up to some huffing and puffing, but I also think (hope) that because he's so intimately tied to Sand due to their past that he will serve the same purpose as Ray and Mew's adventures in not really dating did for Ray: a way for him to get past the things keeping him from moving on with the person he wants to move on with.

I probably won't get much of this, haha. But it's a dream.

SandRay. I think I've gotten most of what I wanted to get out about these two out already. I can see this breaking really really badly. I will be disappointed if it does, but not surprised. I'm getting strong implosion vibes.

TopMew. Endgame vibes. And I am great with that because I adore them. Although them moving in together right after getting back together is a bit nuts. Slow your roll there, Topper.

BostonNIck. Saved for last because I have the most to say about them. I have to admit that they haven't been working for me as well in the past couple of episodes, and this one I was honestly really annoyed because - no points for guessing - of the monogamy stuff. One of my biggest worries as we've gone on is that the show will have Boston "redeem" himself by winding up in a monogamous relationship with Nick, and while I wasn't necessarily opposed to that if it could be done in a way that felt right for the character, I was super unsatisfied with the offer this episode.

But then I watched it again, and it hit me that Boston isn't saying forever, he's saying for now. And I can get behind that.

And then I watched it a third time because anything worth doing once is worth doing thrice. And now I've come to believe that he is mostly doing this for Nick. Because he does care for Nick a lot, but also because he's realized just how much Nick cares for him, and he's thinking to himself, "I can do this for him. I can give him this much, for now." It comes back to that whole wanting to put someone else first thing that I was talking about - it's not to pacify Nick or to make him stick around, it's genuinely (I think) because Boston cares about him and he wants to give him something he wants, something that - because it has a time limit - he thinks that he can give.

Enter Boeing.

I'm not saying that Boeing is gonna succeed in bedding Boston. I'm just saying that - fresh off of whatever happens with Sand and Ray (and regardless of what happens with the two of them as a pair, I have no doubt that it will end in Sand firmly rejecting Boeing once and for all. And unless I'm very mistaken the only interest Boeing has in Ray is to peck at Sand, so Ray will become useless to Boeing once that happens) - he's going to try it on with Boston next, and that it might make Boston and/or Nick realize a few things.

Why Nick? Because although Nick was flattered when Boston offered him the boyfriend title - flattered and pleased - he didn't accept it. I think he might, but I also can't help but wonder if they won't even get that far. Because as Nick says, he knows Boston, and maybe he knows that what Boston's offering isn't necessarily something he wants.

This is all spitballing, of course, and maybe a little bit of projection. I still think they deserve each other but I also still think Boston would do best in an open relationship and Nick...would not. One or the other of them might be able to do what the other one wants for a time, but eventually they will find themselves unable or unwilling to do it. And that would be the end.

I wouldn't mind being wrong here; this is mostly my gut speaking based on my interpretations of the characters. But if the show can convince me otherwise I'd be happy for it.

In Conclusion

My goodness, next week is the last episode. I have a nasty feeling that there will be a second season and I do not want it, nor will I be watching if it is so, so whatever happens Saturday will be how Only Friends ends for me. I'm excited and a little anxious, which is about how I've spent the majority of this show, so it's very fitting.

It feels like there's absolutely no way they have the runtime to make this work if there's no second season.

I hate it here.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings

[titleknown]

Doing a pseudo-reblog of this fucking post because I don’t want to get in arguments over it or shove it into people’s faces, but like... I think we need to talk about the ugliness of the broader attitude in that comic (specific media referenced aside) because it keeps getting fucking spread in other posts by otherwise smart people and I hate it.

Rest of this after the break because it’s kind of ballooned into a wall of text.

Like... it is a common experience on the spectrum for people to earnestly gush about their special interests only to get shut down by a neurotypical in front of them because “that’s stupid,”

While the autism experience is diverse enough that it is difficult to categorize, that is A Thing I have seen people on the spectrum talk about time and time again, pretty damn common.

And that’s literally what that comic is doing, just on a wider scale and “funny,” Like, the setup is “the person is gushing about their interests” and the punchline is “the interest is stupid, I feel despair that this person likes such a stupid thing”

It is that exact fucking nightmare scenario for so many of us, but with the joke on the side of the Typical Neurotypical Viewer.

The core “joke” is literally "LOOK AT HOW STUPID THIS PERSON IS FOR BEING EARNEST ABOUT SOMETHING I FIND STUPID! DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU DESPAIR FOR THE STATE OF BEING SURROUNDED BY STUPID PEOPLE INTO STUPID THINGS?!"

But it’s funny. It’s innocuous. It’s silly. Which lets it spread despite the fact that what it’s saying is; in the end; kinda fucked up.

But, the OP said this in the tags:

But like... this is really two-faced, right? Like, they’re basically saying “I don’t mean to be mean" while also saying “reading critical depth into what you like is bad because the source material is stupid,” which is like...

...Well, firstly I thought y’all fucking hated “the curtains are just blue” and yet y’all are making fun of people for doing the opposite of that, and secondly, it’s doing the same “I don’t get why people like this, therefore it is stupid/worthless” shit that y’all accuse people of doing with Shakespeare and the classics.

And like... I see that attitude a lot. with regards to the big post-Gamergate/post-Infinity-War backlash against fandom as A Thing and the fact it’s becoming more common worries me.

Like, in the common talking point of “I’m sorry that you think Toni Morrison is less good than your fanfic of Goku fucking Charizard” or “Dante didn’t write fanfic because what he wrote was actually good” (paraphrased), I want to deconstruct the core assumptions I see behind it:

The named author and the anonymous fanfic writer reflects the idea that authors working in approved mediums are important, whereas authors working in the Wrong medium aren’t. The “Goku fucking Charizard” thing is based on the assumption that sexuality (And “weird” sexuality especially) debases a work.

The idea that Dante’s “not fanfic” because it’s good primarily serves to define fanfic as based around quality rather than the bullshit insane walls of copyright law (Which is actually what the “Dante is fanfic” talking point was about).

The way the sex fanfic and Toni Morrison are pointed at each other shows that while fanfic must use its worst works as representatives, published literary fiction must use its best.

I wonder what the sorts of people would say about the fact that a novel about a woman fucking a bear literally won Canada’s highest literary award. But I digress.

It is an ugly view that is ironically pretty anti-intelectual in and of itself, but from a different angle than their opposition.

It seeks to demolish a very specific intellectual view of the importance of democratizing art/audience because it views the public intellect and taste as stupid and not worth commenting on. Better to return to a walled garden than to let the mob dictate public taste (even if they’re not really in control).

And like, to speculate from what I’ve observed, I hypothesize that comes from a view that; since corporate monopoly over media via copyright and consolidation is basically invincible, the best we can do is on a “grassroots” level.

And their view of the “grassroots” is that the culture is infantilized, by people who for stupid selfish reasons like stupid baby garbage instead of “real” art and give it all their money, and that fandom is primarily an engine for the most devoted of these stupid baby garbage worshippers.

You will note that what they deem as ‘stupid baby garbage” tends to cross over heavily into the diagram of “things liked by autistic people.” They’ll deny this, while ignoring how much a lot of anti-autistic ableism isn’t directly targeted but inherently stochastic responses against a perceived abnormality.

Point is, they feel this abnormal element is a key driver of what they think must be excised from the culture, like a tumor. So the core idea is that if they bully enough people into shutting up about their garbage baby interests, that “imperial core” of people into Dumb Baby Bullshit will be starved and Real Art will reassert its rightful place.

Note that none of this is conspiratorial, it’s stochastic. It’s a bunch of people with the same general beliefs adopting the same shitty tactics by sheer force of carcination. And they don’t even have to adopt all of the beliefs to act in the interest of that view, just enough of them.

And I am begging y’all, please stop boosting and reblogging this shit in the name of countering the excesses of fandom. There are better ways and better critiques you could be making and supporting.

And for the love of god, people who are saying this shit, you’re not helping. You are not going to break up Disney or elevate the fucking culture by shaming autistic people.

Go work on trying to decrease copyright duration, or expand arts programs, or push for antitrust, or fucking something that’s not bullying people for being publicly earnest about what they like!

#media #critique #bullying #ableism #fandom #media critique

[tinabelcherseroticfriendfiction]

Never Too Much

Title: Never Too Much Fandom: MCU Pairing: Bucky X Reader Rating: R Warnings: Past traum, oral sex (female receiving), teasing, Bucky Barnes because that man is a warning by himself in this fic,   Words: 2,268 Summary: Bucky has been begging you for weeks to let him eat you out. You finally relent.

All mistakes are mine, but shout out to my beautiful BETA reader @welcome-to-the-sin-zone. This is purely self-indulgent. Please be kind!! <3 <3 I love you all!

Materlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Series Masterlist

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“Put me down!” You scream, the terror in your voice only outmatched by the anger. You hate being picked up. You don’t trust anyone to pick you up without dropping you. At over 250lbs (113kg or 18 stones), you had never been picked up by anyone, always told you were too heavy. So naturally you believe them, recognizing that lifting fat women wasn’t something people do, or could do. 

Bucky, though, didn’t appear to hear you as he continues to pick you up and carry you into the apartment. It only infuriates and terrifies you more.

“Are you fucking deaf!?” You cry. “I said put me down!! Now!”

As soon as your feet hit the floor you scramble way from your boyfriend and plop your ass down on the first seat you find, your legs shaking and adrenaline running through your body as you tried to determine if you are more terrified that he could have dropped you because you were far too heavy to lift, or angry that he blatantly ignored you when you told him not to pick you up and then ignored you again when you demanded he put you the fuck down.

“Hey -” Bucky starts, a frown etched deep in his brow as he tries to grab you, but you’re too quick, escaping his grasp, but falling promptly to the floor and landing on your ass. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you! I hate being picked up!” You snap. “The fuck, Barnes!? Are you deaf or are you just trying to hurt me!?”

“I’d never hurt you,” Bucky protests. “You said you were too heavy to pick up, and I told you that was bullshit, why are you -”

“I am too heavy to be picked up!” You climb up onto your feet but stay just out of Bucky’s reach to avoid being picked up again. “You could have dropped me! Or… torn a muscle picking me up and then we both would have fallen! Don’t pick me up! Why can’t you follow one stupid rule?!” 

Ok, so it was definitely anger taking over your fear. You aren’t surprised, you always defer to anger in situations where you feel vulnerable. Part of you feels ashamed for yelling at Bucky, knowing he really didn’t do anything so wrong that warranted this kind of reaction from you, but your fear fuels your anger and you can't stop. 

“What’s with the attitude?” Bucky snaps back at you. “You weigh practically nothing compared to what I can lift, you were perfectly safe!”

“Why do you feel the need to ignore my boundary and pick me up without my permission!?” Now that you are on your own two feet again, and the threat of falling is past, the adrenaline drop starts kicking in and you quickly lose your fight. “It doesn’t matter that you can bench press a fucking freight train, Bucky. I’m not comfortable being picked up. It - fucking terrifies me.”

Bucky’s face drops as you let out a frustrated sigh. “Does this have to do with your exes?” 

“Yes - well… no. Kinda…” You let out another frustrated noise and roll your eyes as you sit down on the couch. “I’m too fat to be picked up. That’s been made clear my whole life. If someone picks me up, they’re gonna break their back. Or they’re gonna hurt themselves some other way, and it ends with me falling and getting hurt, and whoever’s trying to pick me up getting hurt too,” your arms wrap around your stomach as you look anywhere other than at Bucky. “It’s safer that no one tries.”

Bucky takes a seat next to you, listening. “That’s bullshit.” He says bluntly, shaking his head. “Yeah, some people probably can’t pick you up, but they also probably can’t pick up a bag of dog food, either.”

You snort a little at that, glancing at your boyfriend. He always somehow made you laugh even when you just wanted to cry.

“Has anyone even tried to pick you up before? Carry you around? Or did they take one look at the number on the scale and tell you you’re too heavy?”

“I stopped getting picked up when I was, like, three years old.” You roll your eyes. “I’ve never been thin, even as a baby. I’ve just been.. Too much. Too heavy. Even in dance classes, when we were all paired up with partners to do lifts and shit, I was always partnerless because no one would be able to hold me.” You’re far too tired to hide the hurt in your voice.

Bucky reaches over and grabs your hand with his right hand, squeezing it comfortingly. “You were never too much. They weren’t enough. And that’s not on you, doll. That’s completely on them. You don’t weigh too much, you aren’t too fat, and you definitely are never too much. You are perfect just the way you are. And I really want to just pick you up and carry you around all the time now.”

“Bucky…” You whine, glancing at him. “What if -”

“No what-if’s, doll. I won’t pick you up if you really don’t want me to, but I swear, I will never drop you. Ever.” He suddenly sits up a little straighter, looking at you curiously. “Wait - is this why you won’t sit on my face?” 

Your face heats up so quickly and so hard you have to pull your hand away from his and bury your face in your hands. “Bucky!” You cry, completely embarrassed.

Bucky, the bastard, starts poking at you, a mischievous grin playing on his lips. “No, seriously!” He chuckles, “you think you’re too heavy to sit on my face!?”

“Oh my god - I’m not answering that!”

Bucky chuckles again, leaning into your personal space and wrapping an arm around your back, “I’ve been begging you for weeks, doll!”

“It’s gross!” You scream, embarrassed, squirming as he pokes your sides where you’re ticklish. “It’s so gross, I mean - pee comes out of that general vaccinity, and it’s always covered by panties, and sweaty because, like, there’s no air flow, so it’s just musky and dirty and … gross!”

“There is nothing gross about it, doll,” Bucky raises an eyebrow at you, still amused. “It’s natural, and it would make you feel so good… Has no one ever eaten you out?”

You shake your head vigorously, clearly embarrassed. “I didn’t let anyone. You don’t think it’s gross? I mean - it’s genitals… it’s -”

“Babe, that is your Catholic upbringing. There is absolutely nothing gross about your genitals,” he promises, serious. “And I would be honored to be the first person to get to taste that sweet pussy of yours.”

“Oh my God, shut up!” You can’t stop the embarrassed giggle that comes out.

“Pretty please?” Bucky begs, pouting at you.

You giggle again and shove his face away from you. “The physical appearance of the please makes no difference!” You giggle again, quoting one of your favorite movies.

“Oh, but I’ll make it so good for you, baby!” Bucky pushes, a large grin spreading across his face, “you’ll be screaming my name so loud the neighbors will call the cops,”

You laugh again, burying your face in your hands as you shake with laughter. “You’re rather confident there, old man.” you tease, peaking at him through your fingers.

Bucky’s wounded expression on his face only lasts a moment before he’s grinning again, “Old Man, huh?” He grabs you by the waist and pulls you into his lap, holding you close. “Old man? I’m a super soldier, doll. I’ve got stamina for days and years worth of experience. I’ll show you what this old man can do,” he grins, kissing you deeply.

Your laughter dies on your lips as Bucky kisses you, a pleased hum escaping in its place. Your arms wrap around his shoulders without much thought as you settled happily into his lap, your legs straddling his thighs. 

You tilt your head back, breaking the kiss only for Bucky to start kissing down your neck, his hands gripping your hips tight enough to keep you in place. “Come on, doll,” he purrs in your ear. “Let me eat you out, I wanna taste you, please.” 

“Buck…” Your face contorts, wanting to give in to him and let him have his way with you, but also fearing the repercussions. He wasn’t wrong. Your Catholic upbringing has tainted a lot of sexual activities for you, though most were easy to overcome or adapt to. Like masturbating. You hated your hands being sticky or wet, so you would do it in the shower, or use a towel wrapped around the end of your toy if you were lying in bed.

But oral?  All your anatomy lessons reminding you that the urethra and the vaginal opening are so close and yeah, technically urine isn’t dangerous to ingest, it doesn’t sound appealing in any way shape or form, even if you do clean yourself. And then there’s the fact that it’s so enclosed. It smells, it’s musty, it’s moist.

Bucky’s hand has traveled down your hip, your thigh, to your knee, and back up again, his thumb brushing against the junction of your thigh. “I’ll take it slow,” his husky voice tickles your ear, thumb moving closer to your core. “Tear you apart, piece by piece, and put you back together again, over and over, until you can’t remember your own name,” 

“Bucky…” you breathe, your hips pushing into his thumb as he brushes over your leggings clad clit. “Fuck…”

You close your eyes, dropping your head onto his shoulder as he pushes his hand into your leggings, teasing your entrance. Your hips rock forward into his hand, your breathing hitching as butterflies release in your stomach.

“You’re so wet already, baby,” he purrs, “Just give in, let me taste you. Please,”

“Fuck - o-ok…”

Before the words are completely out of your mouth, Bucky has you on your back on the couch, kneeling between your legs as he pulls your leggings down with your underwear. He wastes no time throwing them across the room before his hand is there again, rubbing your clit and pushing a finger into you, teasingly.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” he breathes, leaning over you and kissing your neck. “You remember the safeword?”

You nod, grabbing his hair and pulling him closer to kiss him.

“Gotta hear it, baby,”

“Warcraft,” you mutter, “But please don’t stop,” you tug his hair again, pushing your hips up into his hand. “Bucky, please,” you beg, a small whimper leaving your lips as he pulls away. “What -”

Your question dies on your lips as Bucky adjusts you both, pushing you up further on the couch so your head is resting on the arm rest and he is kneeling between your legs. His hands travel up your thighs as he leans over you and gives your folds a soft kitten lick.

Despite watching Bucky’s movements, the first lick is a shock, sending your body into a convulsion you weren’t expecting. “Buck-”

“Shh,” he purrs, licking you again. “I’ve got ya, baby,” he grins. “You look so beautiful like this.”

“Shuddup,” You whine, looking away from him before he’s suddenly there and devouring you like a starved man’s first meal. “Oh my fuck!” You cried, your eyes widening comically as you stare down your body at his head bobbing between your legs.

He doesn’t lie to you - that was a stipulation of yours when you agreed to give him a chance. No lies, no secrets, no surprises. From either of you. You always tell him what’s on your mind and he does the same. Occasionally it takes some prodding, you both have so much trauma from your pasts that it can be hard to remember sometimes that you both are safe with each other. But there were never lies. 

So you shouldn’t have been surprised when he kept his promise to tear you down piece by piece and put you back together again.

Yet, here you are. Writhing on the couch, your hands clutching Bucky’s hair as you pull him closer, only to push him back when it starts to feel too much. He divides his time between teasing your clitorus with small, tiny little kitten licks and long, languid broad strokes of his full tongue, followed by plunging that delicious appendage as deep into your core as he can reach, the stubble on his face scratching your lips, and his nose nudging at your sensitive bud.

It isn’t long before your first orgasm rolls through you like a fucking tidal wave. 

“Fuck, baby, that’s it,” you hear Bucky’s gruff voice as you come down from the high of your release. “Jesus, look at you. So beautiful… There you are. Hey… you ok?”

You nod and run your fingers through Bucky’s hair as you open your eyes, seeing Bucky still kneeling between your legs. “Holy shit,” you mutter as you chuckle. “Ok… I see your point.” 

Bucky laughs and leans forward, kissing you softly and you can taste yourself on his lips. It’s salty and strange, but not horrible like you always thought it would be. 

“Next time… I want you to ride my face until I pass out.”

You groan and roll your eyes. “I’m not smothering you!” You cry, amused. “I think that constitutes assault, you dweeb!”

“I don’t care, I’d die a happy man.” he grins at you, pulling you up off the couch. He pulls your shirt up over your head and throws it to the floor. "Come on, let's go to bed." He winks at you.

~*~ Fin ~*~

Next ->

#fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky/reader #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #self indulgence at its finest #exes #ex boyfriends #abuse #smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x female reader

[krisseratops]

Hi! How about A9, B9 and C6? Oh, and D10!

Hiiii hon! Alright lets see...

A9. Who was your first ship?

The earliest ship I remember that I got actually invested in is Reaper76 from Overwatch. I mean, traumatized old gay men who like to shoot at each other and have a HistoryTM? It covers all the basics for me. Also this ship is what made me find AO3, so it kinda introduced me to fandom as a whole and is therefore technically responsible for all the madness that came after it.

B9. Who is your OTP?

You know, I was going to say this is a hard question because I have so many pairings I like in several fandoms and I dont really pick favorites because I like different aspects about them and also Im indecisive. And then I remembered Symbrock. And nothing really comes near the level of absolutely messy devotion of (comics!)Symbrock. So yeah.

C6. Is there anything in canon that made you want to quit the show? What was it? Why do you hate it?

Oh boy, here we go... So not a show, but allllll the shit Cates did with absolute garbage & co and what came after essentially made me quit venom comics and comics in general. Do I even need to explain myself? Like I was keeping up with Venom and also Spider-man and some others because it was fun and enjoyable. And then came the egregious retconning, inconsistencies, character butchering (both how they were written but also literally), characters dying and coming back and dying again and coming back again and fucking gods apparently and how every single issue was The Most Shocking And Dramatic Things The Characters Have Ever Been Through and everything is just edgy and grimdark and angsty and so fucking STUPID and it was just. It wasnt fun or enjoyable anymore, only exhausting and frustrating and sad. And not sad like a sad story makes you feel, but sad like watching something you care about irreparably crash and burn in real time without being able to do anything about it and knowing you can never have it back the way it was (which there is enough of IRL). So I powered through until king in black where I just said "reading this bullshit is draining and depressing and doesnt bring me anything, its not worth it anymore so fuck it" and just stopped. And with my main reason for reading comics gone I ditched marvel comics altogether because lets be honest keeping up with all the different stories and timelines and crossovers and whatnot is exhausting cuz theres just so damn much going on all the time. And why torment yourself with shitty canon when you can have wonderful fanfics tailored to your specific tastes all for free? So I quit comics, read fics instead, got into some new fandoms, indulged my hc and have ever since been living blissfully unaware of the burning dumpster fire (derogatory) that is canon. I only see glimpses of it when it crosses my dash, which I use for cherrypicking for my hc and aggressively ignore the rest.

D10. What is one story idea you really want to read but no one has written yet?

I have a whole lot of story ideas I really want to read (my hcs) that no one has written yet (that would be cuz of me not writing them). But for real, I would love more stories with symbiote & spider-people shenanigans. Like there was this one comic of Peter, Miles and Gwen meeting Venom and fighting Doc Ock toghether and they were kinda buddies? More stuff like that, that has spider/symbiote interaction besides them just trying to kill each other. Maybe it exists and I just havent found it. But like, Venom in spiderverse, they have to team up with the spider gang and they kinda get along because he doesnt have any personal beef with them. He will absolutely recite and discuss Shakespear with that medieval spiderman, be enamored with little Mayday, and be nothing but gentlemanly toward spider ma'am. The other spiders find that "yeah he is freaky and has some dubious morals but isnt actually just an evil monster, he just doesnt like you Peter". The Peter in question does not like it one bit. Him and Venom (barely) tolerate each other, as they always do when they team up, but are constantly petty and passive aggressive towards each other in a funny way, bickering like an old married couple. Because of the nature of their history they also know stuff about each other and will casually drop highly personal details about the other that makes the other spiders go "👀 you sure he's your enemy and not just your ex?". Which Peter likes even less. Other story ideas i desperately need is ANYTHING WITH ANTI-VENOM HOLY SHIT WHERE IS MY BABY!?!?!?! I need stories that let him be a silly dumbass and a pathetic wet beast and occasionally getting railed that dont just exist in my head. But the amount of content on him is just dismal. I often feel like the sole inhabitant of the ghost town that is the Anti-Venom fandom. I've come across one (1) quality fic that portrays him properly (thank you @kitausuret for your invaluable service) and good art is hard to come by compared to other characters. And I realize that if I want more art of him and an Anti-Venom x Agent Venom arch-enemies-to-reluctant-allies-to-even-more-reluctant-friends-to-how-the-hell-did-this-happen excruciating slow burn, I will probably have to do it myself, which hghgnghgnhhh will take forever, but oh well.

Well, this sorta turned into an essay that turned into an impromptu vent post. Hope thats okay and you got your answers!

#Ask #Rant #Headcanons

[clotpolesonly]

Scydia&Scira for the ask game

SCYDIA

Ship It!

1) What made you ship it?

i think it kind of reminded me of a ship from a lengthy fanfiction of another fandom entirely 😅 at least, that's what first convinced me of that particular dynamic* -- fiery woman with a very strong temper and very even-keeled man with a steel spine who can weather her storms until she chills the fuck out, haha. i feel like they would balance out well, esp because at their cores, they do share the same compassion and dedication to doing good. Lydia had to grow into hers, but that's not a bad thing. also they make one hell of a battle couple. (thinking of Morgana/Leon from the BBC Merlin fic series Loaded March, if anyone's curious)

2) What are your favorite things about the ship?

the hand holding 🥺

3) Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

honestly i'm not sure what the popular opinions are in order to know if any of my opinions are unpopular 😂 but i don't expect so

.

SCIRA

Ship It!

1) What made you ship it?

they're just so fucking cute, ok. they're goddamn adorable. they're all shy smiles and earnest eye contact and bashful overtures. i love the high-school-ness of them in the midst of all the enormously traumatizing supernatural bullshit going on around them, that they can still manage to be and want to be normal, sweet, simple. i want that for them. and i'm still sad that they didn't get it.

2) What are your favorite things about the ship?

that none of their conflict really comes from within the relationship itself. i crave that sometimes, couples that just are and the drama that interferes isn't because of stupid shit they themselves do. they just want to be together and if the supernatural bullshit would fucking LET THEM, they would be fine!! let them go on a fucking date!!! also the way they're so comfortable with each other that they (Scott, let's be real here, just Scott 😂) keeps forgetting that important milestones in the relationship haven't already happened. literally canon that their first kiss was an absent-minded casual We Do This All The Time, Right? goodbye kiss between classes that made Kira.exe stop working and it took until the next class period for Scott to realize OH GOD WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE, aldkfhakdfgh. and then he did it again with the i love yous!!! it's so fucking cute, i love them.

3) Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i really need to be more tapped into the zeitgeist apparently..........idk 😅

.

send me ships to rate!

#and the answer is #braedenhales #Scydia #Scira #Scott McCall #Lydia Martin #Kira Yukimura #Teen Wolf #SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY HIT THE POST SHORTCUT #APPARENTLY THERE'S A KEYBOARD SHORTCUT TO POST THE POST