#and i had never seen one before then! and i need to see more of them

[heavenlyhischier]

𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 | 𝐋𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

word count: 4.9k

summary: The one where you run into the guy who makes you believe in love all over again.

warnings: kissing, strangers to friends to lovers where they’re both a little oblivious, game mentioned is the game against philly with luke's ot goal

note: no angst?? who am i?? thank you maddy for answering my questions about luke so i could make this as accurate as possible ily

Someone once said that love comes when you least expect it and when you’re not looking for it, but you used to never believe that. You used to think that love was something you always searched for in others, that love was something everyone wanted, but you stopped believing that after it kept leaving you stranded and broken. You stopped looking for romantic love, choosing to believe that maybe it wasn’t meant for you, until one day when you’re quite literally trampled by the boy that made you believe in it all over again.

Walking the path near the water was one of your favorite pastimes since you’ve moved to the unfamiliar city. It was something that always brought you a sense of serenity whenever reality became a little too overbearing, or when you just needed a space to breathe after a particularly straining day at work. It was also your favorite way to start off your day whenever you had the time. Always a coffee in hand as you savored the peacefulness before the day truly began.

Today was one of the fortunate days when the weather wasn’t too cold that you needed more than a light jacket when you stepped outside. There weren't many people out and about as the sun had barely risen, but there were still a handful on their morning jogs or simply relaxing on the benches as they read a book. You had only looked away from the path in front of you for a brief second when you collided with something, or rather someone, and it sent your barely drank coffee to the ground, spilling all over your shoes.

“Shit,” You heard a boyish voice exclaim, his hands grasping at your biceps to keep you upright, “I’m so sorry!”

You knew it wasn’t on purpose, but you couldn’t help but grow a slight annoyance as you stared at the dropped drink. It wasn’t entirely his fault because you weren’t paying attention either and it wasn’t like you had just bought the coffee, you were just slow to drink it. Looking up at the person in front of you, your breath hitched in your throat when you saw one of the cutest guys you’d seen in the city yet. Though he looked slightly familiar, you just couldn’t place where you might have seen him.

He had a sympathetic, small smile on his face as he awkwardly dropped his hands back to his side. He had a beanie covering his hair, but there were a few strands of curls that had managed to poke out from the thick material. You were close enough to him that you can see a small scratch on the bridge of his nose that looked almost fully healed. He was quite a bit taller than you as well, his anxious eyes peering down into your own as you slowly blink at him.

“Are you okay,” He spoke again, gaze briefly filtering down to your shoes.

“Yeah,” You sigh as you step away from him, “I’m fine, but my shoes might not be.”

The both of you let out awkward chuckles before you bend down to grab the cup, slightly frowning to yourself as you bring it to your chest. When you meet his eyes again, he looks as if he was contemplating something by the way he keeps looking all around you. His hands were shoved in the pocket of his hoodie as he shifted his weight on his feet. The air is a little awkward as you think about just walking away, but he speaks before your feet ever move.

“Let me buy you a new drink,” He suggests, his voice slightly quieter than before as if he was nervous, “It’s the least I can do.”

“Oh, no you don’t have to do that,” You shake your head, “It’s no big deal. It’s just a coffee.”

“Please,” He tries, not wanting to press so hard enough he comes off desperate, “It looked almost full based on what I can see on the ground.”

You couldn’t help but notice his shy smile and hesitant eyes as he waited for your response. His cheeks and nose were slightly pink from the wind that refused to stop whipping at any exposed skin it found. He was sporting a nervous half smile as you mulled the option over in your head, trying to gather if there was any plausible reason to not let the cute boy with a crooked smile buy you another coffee.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” You agree, a smile of your own toying on your lips as you keep your gaze on him, “But only if you tell me your name first.”

“Luke,” He lightly chuckled, taking his hand out of his pocket, extending it for you to shake, “Yours?”

You gingerly took his hand in your own as you told him your name, ignoring the way his touch made your cheeks heat up and butterflies fill your stomach. You retracted your hand quickly, moving it to grasp the cup with both hands as you gestured for Luke to lead the way. You catch the way his eyes briefly dart to your cup before he began to walk the direction you had been coming from.

The two of you fell into a bit of an awkward conversation, him asking you if you were from the area and him telling you that he wasn’t either. He told you that he played professional hockey for the Devils and it clicked in your brain that that was why he looked familiar. You had seen him on TV, but you weren’t involved in the sport enough to put a name to his face. You teased him a little and playfully asked if he would get you tickets to a game, but the speed at which he said yes shocked even himself.

When Luke was handing you your new drink, that was when he told you that he was already running a bit late to some sort of meeting with his team and as much as he’d like to stay, he had to leave. You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little disappointed at the news, but you ended up exchanging phone numbers before he was rushing away, still not entirely looking where he was going. You watched him leave with a smile on your face and a sort of hope filling your chest that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

The two of you had began texting each other so often that people started to ask questions. Though it had only taken three days of you quietly giggling to yourself for your roommate to ask who the guy was. Whereas for Luke, it had only taken Jack until after practice the day he had met you. Jack had never seen his younger brother rush to check his phone while still in full gear before so quickly, and that was how he knew.

You didn’t see Luke for nearly two weeks after you had initially met courtesy of the stars, also known as his games and your work schedule, never aligning in the right way. When Luke had texted you after one of his games asking if you were free the following evening and you finally got to answer with a yes, you grew excited, and also extremely nervous.

He had given you the option to go out and do something, or to come over to his place and the two of you could order food and watch movies; just hangout, he had said. You ultimately decided on the second option since the weather had grown colder and you weren’t necessarily in the mood to join the crowds of people in the city. He subtly mentioned that his brother would be gone so it would just be the two of you, and the thought made your cheeks warm despite knowing he had no underlying intentions.

When you had texted Luke to tell him you had finally found a parking spot and he told you where to go from there, you had to take a small breather in your car to get yourself to stop shaking before finally going into the expensive looking building. You were so focused on taking in all of the little details inside the lobby that you weren’t paying attention to where you were going and ran straight into someone’s chest.

You let out a surprised squeal as you squeeze your eyes closed at the impact, fully prepared to go stumbling backwards, but you never do. You can feel their hands on your hips, the pads of their fingers slightly digging into the skin separated by the material of your shirt. The soft laugh that filtered through your eyes made your eyes snap open to see a familiar face sporting an amused smile.

“At least there’s no coffee this time,” Luke teases, keeping his hands on you a tad longer than necessary before he pulls them back to his own body.

“Shut up,” You mumbled, hoping he didn’t notice the tinge to your cheeks, “I was looking at the stupid fancy decorations. I didn’t know you were going to be down here.”

“I noticed,” He chuckled, “You thought I wouldn’t meet you down here?”

“Well, no. You gave me the apartment number so I expected to meet you there,” You shrugged, forcing your gaze away from him and to your feet.

“You would’ve thought it was weird if I didn’t give you the apartment number,” He raises his eyebrows even though you aren’t looking at him, “Besides, sometimes people have trouble finding the door. It’s a little confusing.”

When you had reached the floor his apartment was on and saw that it was only one big hallway, you couldn’t help but give him a confused look. It wasn’t confusing at all, especially given the fact that his door was only the second one on the left. You could tell he was purposely avoiding looking in your direction as he pushed through the door, holding it open for you to slip inside, and you chose to let it be.

The rest of the night was spent with the two of you talking about anything that possibly came to mind once you got through the brief bout of awkward tension, and you quickly found that Luke could talk forever. He talked about his teammates and family in a way that made you smile because it was clear he truly loved and looked up to them. You told him about your family back home and why you moved and the way he was hanging on to every word made you flustered because no one had ever cared enough to listen to you that way.

By the time the night was winding down, you were close enough to him on the couch that your thighs would brush together and his arm was slung around the cushions behind you, but not touching you. There was a movie playing on the tv in front of you, but you would be lying if you said you were paying attention to it. All you could think about was how things with Luke flowed so naturally and how you hadn’t felt this comfortable around someone in so long that you forgot the feeling even existed.

The two of you began hanging out regularly after that, never doing anything more than something you would do with a friend, but you could feel your feelings for him grow with each passing day. It started off as small notions and things you could brush off, but then you found yourself thinking of him no matter what you were doing. You were always seeing something that reminded you of him or something that made you think ‘oh, Luke would love that. I can’t wait to show him’. However, you were far too scared to let yourself believe that he would ever feel the same, so you swallowed those urges and went on as if nothing had changed.

When Luke had asked if you would be interested in going to one of his games, you thought nothing of it. You had told him that you would gladly go, but you would only need one ticket since your roommate worked most evenings and you didn’t necessarily have anyone else to go with. He told you not to worry about that and he would figure something out for you before he asked for your email to send the ticket. What he meant by that, you weren’t sure, but you didn’t ask questions.

You asked your roommate to help you with your outfit before she left for work that day, wanting to make sure what you wore wasn’t too much but also wasn’t sloppy. Once she had settled on something that adhered to your standards, she managed to leave enough time for her to help with your hair as well. She could tell that you were nervous based on the way your hands were constantly fiddling with each other and by the way your already clumsy habits seemed to increase by the second.

You weren’t entirely sure why you were so nervous. It wasn’t like this was the first time you were hanging out with Luke, and it surely wasn’t going to be the last. For some reason, him inviting you to one of his games felt different, but then it made you queasy because you began to think about how many girls he had invited before. By the time you were on your way to the arena, you had managed to calm yourself down enough that your heart rate was almost back to normal and your self sabotaging thoughts had been long forgotten.

Luke had taken the liberty of reserving parking for you, which you tried to deny but he said he had already done it so there was no room to argue. The parking garage was full of people in various jerseys for both teams as they made their way into the arena with you following suit because you had virtually no idea where you were going. You were so focused on looking at section numbers that you kept bumping into people, quiet apologies tumbling from your lips as you rushed away from their pointed looks.

Eventually, you found the correct section and showed your ticket to the usher at the top of the stairs before following his direction as you walked down. You stopped at the row your seat was in, your eyes falling on a group of women as they talked and laughed with one another, and you suddenly felt a wave of insecurity wash over you. They clearly knew each other, and you were there by yourself, and on top of that, they were absolutely gorgeous.

You took a deep breath before you shuffled down the row and to your seat, trying to ignore the way their voices grew quiet whenever you sat down. You could feel their eyes on you as you kept yours on the rink, watching as they set up the net and as others filed down towards their seats before the game started. It wasn’t until you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder that you turned to look at the one sitting right next to you.

“Hi,” One of them greeted, a bright smile on her face, “I’m Nicole!

You let out a shaky breath as you took her hand, giving her your name before returning her smile. The way her eyes lit up and she briefly glanced at the girls around her with a subtle smirk threw you off, but she was quick to ease your confusion as she moved her focus back to you.

“So you’re the girl Luke won’t stop talking about,” She playfully teases, “He made sure Jesper told me you would be coming and to look out for you so you weren’t alone.”

You can’t stop your face from heating up by being identified as ‘the girl Luke won’t shut about’, and judging by the way the other girls looked at you, it seemed to be a universal experience. They went around and introduced themselves, and their children, to you before they began to ask you questions. They started off with the easy questions such as your career, if you were in school, if you were from the area, if you were a big fan of hockey, but they quickly transferred the topic over to your relationship with Luke.

“We’re just friends,” You meekly said, eyes darting away from them as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth.

“But you like him,” Cat asks as she raises her eyebrows, though her tone hints that she knows the answer to that.

You briefly hesitated, not sure what your response should be, but you were very graciously saved by the music blaring through the speakers followed by the announcer's voice. You hastily turned towards the ice, thanking whatever higher being saved you from the embarrassment of admitting your feelings out loud.

As the game started, you caught yourself really only focusing on Luke rather than the puck itself. If he wasn’t on the ice, you were leaning towards the girls beside you to ask questions about the game you didn’t entirely understand. When he was on the ice, you flinched every time he got hit a little too hard, or when he would trip over seemingly nothing and fall on the ice. Although, you did know to join in on the collective booing whenever he was sent to the penalty box for a bogus call.

The game ended up going into overtime with Luke, his brother, and team captain on the ice as they stood opposite the Flyers players. Your hands were clasped together as you leaned forward, waiting with baited breath as the puck dropped on the ice. You watch as they skate towards their net, hastily trying to get the puck from the other team. You’re not sure who managed to get possession, but the next thing you know Luke is taking a shot that ends up in the net to win the game.

You jump out of your seat as you scream, your eyes not leaving Luke as he learns forward into a celebratory bow that you’re positive he did when he was at Michigan. A fact you knew after you asked him “if he was even good at hockey” and he proceeded to show you his highlight reels for the next hour. His team rushes towards him with giant smiles on their faces as they crowd around him, the arena filling with cheers so loud that it made your ears ring.

By the time things had calmed down, Nicole was the first to tell you that you were supposed to go with them down to the locker room. You walked through the arena with them, only briefly stopping to talk with security because you didn’t have the correct pass. The area outside the locker room was buzzing with life as various friends and family members of the team waited for the guys, their voices meshing with the loud cheers from inside.

The guys slowly began to trickle out of the locker room clad in their fancy and expensive suits, dopey grins on their faces. You stayed tucked between Cat and Nicole as they talked, but you were only halfway listening as you kept an eye out for Luke. Some of the guys you only vaguely remembered from pictures or videos Luke had shown you, but most you knew with confidence because of how often their names popped up in conversation.

When you finally saw a familiar head of curls walking through the doors, it was a bit embarrassing how quickly a smile grew on your face. He wasn’t even looking in your direction, instead animatedly talking to his brother who had seen you, a slight smirk on his face. The girls had stepped away from you, knowing looks on their faces when Luke finally looked in front of him to see you standing there waiting for him.

If they thought Luke was excited before, it was absolutely nothing compared to the look on his face when his eyes landed on you. He quickened his pace, leaving his conversation, and his brother, behind as he only focused on getting to you. You were painfully aware of the multitude of gazes on you, the attention beginning to slightly overwhelm you, but all of the worry disappeared the moment Luke wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him.

“Congratulations on your goal,” You mumble with your head pressed against his chest, your arms draped around the middle of his frame.

“Thank you for coming,” He quietly says, his hold on you subtly tightening as he lets out a deep breath.

You can barely hear the quiet whispers of those around you over the blood pounding in your ears, but you didn’t mind them anyways. Right now, all you wanted to focus on was the way his arms felt around you and the way his entire body seemed to relax under your touch. While physical touch with Luke wasn’t uncommon, it still gave you a small sense of hope that maybe everyone was right and maybe he did like you back after all.

“Jack, you might need somewhere to stay tonight,” You heard one of the other guys tease from behind him, making your face heat up as you stepped away from Luke. Though he doesn’t entirely break away from, keeping his arm slung across your shoulders as he turns to look at his teammates.

“Oh, I planned for it don’t worry,” He laughs as he shakes his head, “You picked a good first game to come to. Luke played his ass off.”

“I always do,” Luke quickly defended himself, his voice slightly raising and his posture straightening the smallest amount.

“Yeah, but you really did tonight,” Dawson pressed with a mischievous smile on his face.

“You guys are annoying,” Luke rolls his eyes, “I’m starving, so we are going to leave. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Your gaze snaps up to Luke as he briefly looks down at you with his usual half smile, but the sound of Jack calling out to him briefly moves his attention back to his brother. You let your eyes fall back to the ground in front of you, your mind running a mile a minute as you try to ignore the way he’s slightly grazing the skin above your collarbone with his fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat, the skin involuntarily raising in wake of his touch as you try to keep yourself outwardly collected.

“Hey,” Luke’s voice breaks through the thin barrier keeping you composed, “You ready? I figured I’ll drive so you can put the chipotle order in and we can pick it up on our way back to my apartment. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” You breathe out, giving him a small smile.

The two of you bid goodbye to the others, but not before they could pass on teasing comments or not so subtle winks as you passed by them. Luke had dropped his arm from your shoulders, a small absent feeling settling over you when he did. He asked you if you ended up having a good time and if the girls were nice to you, which you, of course, told him that you did and the girls were extremely welcoming and kind.

When Luke had climbed into the driver’s seat, he fished his wallet out of his pocket and handed you his credit card with the subtle threat that if he didn’t see a charge on his card for the food that he would buy you the expensive hoodie you had looked at a few days ago. You rolled your eyes as you took his card, not knowing that he had already bought the hoodie anyway and was waiting to give it to you.

By the time the two of you had picked up your food and were back at his apartment, your nerves from earlier had almost entirely disappeared and things felt normal again. Before the two of you started eating, he went into his room to change, and he returned with a random pair of sweatpants you had forgotten you bought last week and a shirt you’re positive was his. He waited for you to come back before he started eating like he always did, but you couldn’t help but feel like the air surrounding you felt slightly off.

You couldn’t tell if you were overthinking things or if something really was wrong because you still felt that way when the two of you moved to the couch. Luke still sat in his usual spot directly next to you, but he was barely focusing on the movie. His eyes kept darting around the room and he was nervously chewing on his bottom lip. You wanted to ask him if he was okay, but you kept your eyes on the TV until he spoke up.

“Can I tell you something,” Luke nearly shouted, slightly startling you out of your spot on the couch, “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just– I need to tell you something.”

Your eyes were wide and full of confusion, and slight panic, as you spoke, “Yeah, of course. You can tell me anything.”

You watched as he took a deep breath, slightly turning his body so he was facing you completely, and you couldn’t help but let an almost painful sense of worry envelope you. You were running over every possible scenario you could conjure in your mind, but they were all so negative that you had convinced yourself what he was going to say was too.

“This might screw everything up and if you never want to talk to me again, that’s fine, but I can’t ignore it anymore,” His voice was serious, yet thick with an emotion you refused to place, “After I scored tonight and all the guys were around me, all I could think about was you. Not even just you being there to see it, but celebrating with you. Seeing your smile. Hugging you. Kissing you.”

He said the last part so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him, but you did. Those two words rang in your ears as you looked at him, your mouth slightly dropped open as the ability to form a semi coherent thought in your mind suddenly fleeing. You wanted to respond, to tell him that it was all you could think about too, but your mouth and brain were far from cooperative.

Your silence was slowly suffocating Luke, and he quickly wishes he never said anything at all. To him, he knew it was a long shot that you felt the same way he did. Early in your friendship, you had let it slip that you weren't looking for a relationship and you wanted to focus on yourself. He knew that, but he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself anymore.

“I’m sorry,” He backtracks, shaking his head, “I shouldn’t have said anyth–”

You cut him off by surging forward and slamming your lips on his own, not trusting yourself to accurately say everything you felt. Luke’s reaction was almost instantaneous, his hands grabbing at your hips and pulling you onto his lip as he kisses you back. The metaphorical wall that had been keeping the two of you as friends crumbled beneath you as you pour everything you felt for him into one kiss.

His hands had moved to the small of your back, pulling you so close that there wasn’t even a millimeter of space separating you from him. Your hands were looped around his neck as your mouth moved against his own, and you couldn’t stop yourself from carefully grasping at his curls. Luke groaned against you, and he knew he had to stop before he took things too far on his living room couch.

He pulls away from you, his heavy breathing falling in sync with your own as he drops his head to your shoulder. You can feel his chest rise and fall against you as you attempt to gather your thoughts and tell yourself that this was real. That it actually happened and it wasn’t something you had dreamed up again, but you were suddenly shaken from your thoughts when Luke harshly snapped his head up to look at you.

“Wait, does this mean you like me back,” He asks, feigning a sense of seriousness, but you can see the smile threatening to shine through.

“You’re an idiot,” You playfully roll your eyes at him.

“Maybe, but I’m your idiot, ” He counters before his eyes slightly widen as he hesitantly continues, “Right?”

“Yeah,” You chuckle, a small smile decorating your face, “You are.”

The two of you spend the rest of the night wrapped up in the other, the movie halfway forgotten as you found yourself with your lips on his more often than not. You were selfishly thankful that Jack had been telling the truth when he said he found somewhere else to stay. The uninterrupted time you spent in Luke’s arms allowed you to truly soak it in. To relish in the fact that you had finally found someone who made you believe that love did exist, and you owed it all to one spilled coffee.

#luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes fic #luke hughes oneshot #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[sansaorgana]

— STILL WATERS RUN DEEP

PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — He's a psychotic killing machine and you're a shy and innocent lady. You have nothing in common except for the fact your bloodlines have been manipulated for centuries to create a match. And you seem to be destined to be together.

REQUEST — (1) // (2) // (3)

AUTHOR’S NOTE — I don't write children!Readers unless it's for the retrospections and memories. That's why I combined all these requests into one fic. Some parts of the requests didn't make it but I felt like it was already getting long 🙈 I included the trope of Feyd and Reader being destined to be together – some sort of Soulmates AU, I guess? ✨

WARNINGS — arranged marriage, blood, spiders, mentions of Baron Harkonnen abusing Feyd, SMUT, fingering, oral, hints of innocence kink, The Harpies being a bit non-consensual

WORD COUNT — 7,500

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

STILL WATERS RUN DEEP

Giedi Prime was surely a scary and intimidating place for a twelve years old girl. The lack of colour and friendly faces made you shiver and anxiously cling to your father’s hand. You couldn’t understand why he had insisted on you accompanying him on this official state visit for the meeting with Baron Harkonnen. He would never want to take you with him to much more pleasant places. You were too young to understand the hidden agenda, the Bene Gesserit scheming – whose plans had been destroyed by Lady Jessica giving birth to a son instead of a daughter. They needed a new match for the young na-baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, The Baron’s nephew. After years of searching and studying many possibilities, they had decided to create a union between your House and The Harkonnens. Your father was more than happy – it was an honour to bond with such a powerful family. You were from one of the planets of a lesser importance. That was the reason for The Baron’s distrust towards the plan. He would rather see his nephew marrying a great lady, perhaps even an Imperial Princess.

While he talked to your father, you were left alone with no one but one guard in an empty room. You were sitting on a black couch and looking with awe at the portraits on the walls. All men looked the same on them – big, bald, hairless and scary. They fascinated you as much as they intimidated you.

After a while, the doors leading to the corridor opened and you startled at the sight of a boy more-less your age entering confidently with a contemptuous look upon his face. He looked like all The Harkonnens – sickly and scary. He was wearing clothes you had only seen on gladiators and warriors before but it looked disturbing on a body so skinny and small, even though he was tall for his age. There was a splash of blood upon his face and it made you gasp and take a step back. He smirked at you.

“So, that’s you? Disappointing,” he commented harshly as you swallowed thickly.

“What are you talking about? Who are you?” You looked nervously at the guard but he remained stoic.

“I’m Feyd,” he introduced himself. “My training has been interrupted and I’ve been told to meet you for whatever reason. Haven’t expected such a scared, little bunny,” he sneered and you spotted his teeth were black. They didn’t look rotten, though.

“What happened to your teeth?” You asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“My Uncle made the medics paint them black to intimidate my enemies,” he answered, proudly.

“What kind of enemies might a twelve year old have?” You asked, surprised.

You had no enemies. Your life was of a typical spoiled young lady – full of mother’s kisses, father’s embraces, candies, ponies and maids braiding your hair in the evening while telling you tales of handsome and brave prince charmings. You couldn't imagine that it was different for other people.

“You’re stupid,” Feyd pointed out and you shut your mouth, feeling hurt at his words as tears pricked your eyes. He approached you and you took a step back, scared of him. “Don’t cry,” he tilted his head at the sight of your wet eyes. “Has no one ever told you that you were stupid?” Now it was his time to be surprised and you shook your head. “Do you want to see something?” He proposed as his eyes sparkled.

“I’m scared,” you admitted, genuinely.

“I will protect you,” he offered his pale hand and you looked at it with fear in your eyes.

“I am scared of you,” you raised your eyes to lay them on his face again while you explained.

“Good,” he nodded with a chuckle. “But I’d get in trouble if something happened to you. You are the daughter of my uncle’s guest. Come,” he encouraged.

Your status gave you courage as your curiosity only fueled your desire to actually follow him. Just like the portraits on these walls – he was as intimidating as fascinating to you. Perhaps because you had never before met such a boy.

You took his cold hand and a shiver went down your spine. For a short while, you thought you would faint as an odd feeling filled your small body. A familiar warmth that you only felt when you were back home, in your bed, feeling safe and sound with the nanny or your mother caressing your head to help you sleep. Like he was home. But he couldn’t be. You had never met him and he was scary. 

“Have you felt that, too?” You gasped.

“No,” Feyd lied. “Come,” he dragged you behind him and the guard opened the doors in front of you.

Feyd took you down the corridor and led you downstairs to some sort of dungeons beneath the fortress. You were starting to have a bad feeling about it but something deep inside you made you trust that odd boy. Without understanding it yet, you were starting to realise he was the one who had been meant for you from the day you were born. There was some connection between your bloodlines that was drawing you towards each other.

You found yourself in an old, dark and damp room. It smelt of something rotten and it was full of spiderwebs.

“What is this place? It’s disgusting,” you pointed out as you winced. Feyd let go of your hand and sneered at you.

“Life is unpleasant. The sooner you learn that, the better,” he pointed out and suddenly, he reached for a short knife by his waist you had not noticed before. You yelped at the sight, convinced he had only dragged you there to kill you.

“Don’t be silly, I won’t hurt you,” he rolled his eyes and you nodded, unsurely. “Do you want to see me kill something?” He smirked playfully at you.

It felt wrong and you felt the anxiety rising in your abdomen when you realised you’d get in trouble for that. On the other hand, you did want to see him kill something. It was curiosity mixed with excitement to witness something forbidden and something you had been sheltered from.

“Yes,” you nodded, eagerly. He was a little surprised at your reaction but he only smiled.

Feyd beckoned you over by waving his hand and you followed him, quietly. Then you gasped and covered your mouth as you gagged out of disgust at the sight of a big, fat spider in the corner of the room. It was huge – nearly as big as you were. But it was also fat and slow. The legs were long and thin, furry black sticks.

“I found it a few days ago,” Feyd told you as he looked at your disgusted face. “Gross, isn’t she?”

You nodded.

“She reminds me of my uncle,” Feyd explained with hatred in his voice. “Do you see those small spiders on the ground?” He asked and you looked down. It was full of smaller spiders but they were all laying there dead. “She feeds off of her own children.”

You took a step back, utterly disgusted and sick. Feyd snorted at you and turned his back on you to gut the big, black spider. You watched with terror how much satisfaction it was giving him. He struck the monstrosity so many times that you lost count. He kept striking when it was already laying there dead.

“That’s enough,” you whispered and Feyd froze before turning around to face you. There was pure murder in his eyes and when he walked towards you with a knife in his hand, you were sure he would kill you now, too.

You took a deep breath in and closed your eyes, expecting the worst. But when you felt his breath on your face, you heard him hiding the knife away.

“Stupid little bunny,” he told you and you opened your eyes, hesitantly. He was staring at you as if he was studying your face.

The door opened suddenly and a few guards entered, sighing out of relief. Your father was standing behind them, scared. Baron Harkonnen was there as well, floating ominously.

“There you are!” He raised his voice and you spotted that all Feyd’s confidence was gone in a second. The boy looked down and blushed. “I’ve told you to behave. Why are you scaring Lady (Y/N)?!”

You turned around to face The Baron, hiding his nephew’s from his sight with your small body.

“He did not scare me, my Lord,” you assured with a slight bow of your head. “I wanted Feyd-Rautha to show me around,” you lied to protect him.

You had a feeling his uncle would punish him and he looked like a man you would never want a punishment from.

“She’s naive,” your father tried to save the situation. “Curiosity killed the cat,” he reminded you and grabbed you by your wrist to pull you closer to him. “Forgive my daughter, my Lord Baron.”

“She is forgiven,” the big man smirked viciously before lying his eyes on his nephew. “The boy, however, is not.”

You wanted to protest but your father gave you a stern look and announced it was time for you to leave now. So, you obeyed and walked away, following the guard leading you out of the corridor. But you kept looking behind, trying to see Feyd-Rautha for the last time.

“Will I see him again?” You asked your father, looking up.

“Who?”

“Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha,” you explained and your father sighed as he looked down at you.

“You will in eight years,” he announced. “You will become his wife.”

Those eight years you had not wasted a day, practising for your new role every day. Learning all about The Harkonnens; their culture, their history, their customs and war strategies. You knew that their nobility would not give you an easy time for being a Lady of the lesser house. You wanted to prove your worth with knowledge.

Your wisdom was your only weapon because you lacked confidence nor experience in nearly anything. Sheltered your whole life, surrounded by books and teachers, you were shy and innocent. The spider incident on Giedi Prime still remained your only sin – that no one except your husband-to-be possessed the knowledge of.

You had not been in touch with him at all but the stories had reached you about his nature and his victories in the gladiator arena. You believed them all because your short encounter had been enough to give you an idea about what kind of man he would become. You had never protested whenever your marriage was mentioned but you felt anxious. You didn’t belong on Giedi Prime, you didn’t fit in the world of death and violence.

Tested by Gom Jabbar, you nearly failed the test. The scary Reverend Mother gave your mother a look of disapproval. On the very next day you were shipped to Giedi Prime for your wedding, though. You had survived the trial and only that mattered – the long-planned scheming couldn’t be sabotaged.

On the day of your arrival, you were led with your parents to a room you had remembered from your last visit. There was the same black couch and the same portraits on the wall – only now there was one more than before. The last one in line, of a young man with handsome facial features, signed with your betrothed’s name. You opened your mouth slightly as you kept staring at it. He was a young and handsome na-baron; a strong warrior surrounded by men and women who admired him. You could only imagine how inconvenient a marriage had to be for him. Especially to an uninteresting and unimportant woman like you.

The doors opened and you turned around to see him in real life as he entered the room in black gladiator gear. He looked better than in the portrait – raw and magnetic, dangerous. Your parents stiffened at the sight of him and they both bowed their heads.

“Lord Na-Baron,” your father greeted him. “We have delivered our daughter to you, according to the agreement,” he explained. “We have hoped to be greeted by your uncle The Baron.”

“He’s busy,” Feyd interrupted your father in a low and raspy voice that sent a shiver down your spine. His eyes were only fixated on you – curious and mocking. You bowed down slightly as well, not wanting to disrespect him.

“Y-yes, of course, my Lord…” your father took a step back.

“You’re grown now,” Feyd-Rautha stood in front of you with a smirk and you took a deep, shaky breath in.

“So are you, my Lord Na-Baron,” you nodded.

“She hasn’t changed a bit,” Feyd turned around to give your father a contemptuous look. “A timid little bunny. But it’s no surprise since she’s been raised by a coward and bootlicker like you.”

“My daughter is of many qualities, my Lord, I can assure you…” your father panicked.

“A wife only needs one quality,” Feyd sneered at him as your blood ran cold at his words. “Show them to their rooms,” he told the guards and left the room.

“I can’t believe you’ve made deals with these people,” your mother snapped angrily at your father who was standing there with his head kept low, ashamed.

But it was not like he had any saying in this. It was the plan of the Bene Gesserit. You were nothing but pawns in it. You tried to remember that Feyd-Rautha was a pawn, too.

After the scary and bloody wedding party, you were taken to your husband’s bedroom where you were supposed to be prepared for the wedding night. However, it was not the maids waiting for you there. Three bald Harkonnen women were sitting on your husband’s bed and smirking at you, showing off their sharp teeth. They were dressed in black leather and clinging to each other as if they were one body instead of three.

“We will prepare her for the Master,” one of them told the servants who had taken you there. You looked at them with panic and they only looked back with guilt and compassion before walking out as quickly as possible, leaving you alone with the scary snake-like creatures.

They were circling around you, sniffing you and chuckling contemptuously. You didn’t understand anything but you tried to bravely keep still and endure. Then, one of them approached you and licked a fat stripe across your cheek. Your eyes widened in terror.

“Oh-so-innocent,” she commented. “Have you ever pleased a man?” She asked.

You were terrified and embarrassed, you didn’t know what to do.

“N-no, my Lady,” you stuttered and nodded your head, unsure how to address her.

They all found it amusing as they laughed.

“My Lady, she calls me. I might like this one,” the woman caressed your hair with some sort of perverted delicacy that made you feel even more scared. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your hands turned cold and sweaty. “I’m not a lady, na-baroness. I am your husband’s whore,” she informed you and you nodded again, hesitantly. “We are his favourite pets. You see… Our Master likes perversion,” her hands landed on your hips as she pulled you closer to her body. “We will teach you how to please him and how to take him.”

“He’s a lot to take,” another woman stood behind you and grabbed your breasts from behind.

“W-won’t he mind, my husband?” You swallowed thickly.

“Not at all,” the third one giggled. “He always shares his toys.”

“Not this one,” the doors opened as Feyd-Rautha entered the room. He glanced at the women angrily and they immediately let go of you and moved away. “She is not a toy, she is your na-baroness. What are you doing here?” He snapped. “Have I not forbidden you from entering this room from now on?”

“Oh, Master…” one of them approached him to put her arms around his neck but he pushed her away.

“Get out,” he hissed and they ran away.

When the doors closed behind them, Feyd looked at you and sighed before approaching you and caressing your cheek.

“You alright, wife?” He asked.

“Y-yes, thank you,” you nodded and flinched at the feeling of his cold fingers brushing your cheek. An odd and out-of-place warmth started to fill you like all those years ago. It made him startled, too, and eventually he took a step back.

“You must be exhausted,” he only said as he looked away, awkwardly. “We can perform our duties in the morning.”

“Th-thank you,” you nodded. “I’ll go take a shower now…”

Feyd pointed at the doors leading to the bathroom and that was all for that night. When you came back to his bedroom, he was already gone. You went to sleep without him, confused by his behaviour.

Baron Harkonnen watched carefully with his own eyes and through the eyes of his servants. He observed and he listened – nothing could ever escape him. But the new na-baroness was as easy to read as a book. When she joined him and Count Rabban by the breakfast table, she didn’t wince while sitting, which was an obvious sign she had not been claimed by Feyd the previous night. The Baron smirked when the new na-baroness began to eat the meal, keeping her timid gaze down, terrified of her surroundings.

If Feyd-Rautha refused to be her friend, The Baron would surely find her a purpose. She would be an easy tool to keep Feyd in place. A silent, obedient shadow following her husband everywhere. A perfect spy.

“Na-Baroness,” he addressed her and she flinched before looking up, scared. “I would like you to join the council after the meal. Your husband rarely takes part in them since he is too busy training but now you are an extension of him,” The Baron forced a smile and she nodded. “I’ve been told by your father you are well-trained in Harkonnen history and customs.”

“Y-yes, my Lord,” she bowed her head.

“I know that Feyd-Rautha is not an easy man to be around,” The Baron continued as Rabban raised his head, curious about his uncle’s scheming plan. “He’s been like this ever since he was a child. I’ve been trying to temper him.”

“I remember,” the young woman whispered.

“You can tell me about anything that is worrying you,” The Baron assured her and she smiled genuinely. “Has he hurt you?” He squinted his eyes, knowing the answer already but wanting to test her honesty.

“No, my Lord. Feyd-Rautha did not spend the night with me at all,” she answered and he nodded as Rabban sneered.

“You have to forgive him, my Lady. He prefers other… forms of entertainment,” The Baron explained softly.

“I believe I have met them, my Baron,” the woman looked down.

“Most likely, yes. They don’t like to share him,” The Baron chuckled.

“But the heir…”

“Do not worry about the heir. You are both still young, you have time. There is no need to hurry anything. Take your time to adjust on Giedi Prime first,” The Baron tried to calm her down and she looked up with so much gratitude in her eyes that he was sure he had succeeded. She was his agent now.

To your own surprise, you found new friends in your husband’s family – his uncle and brother – but not him. Feyd-Rautha was mostly avoiding you and a few attempts to claim you were ending in a fiasco. You couldn’t understand why he would pull away suddenly and leave you without a word or fail to get hard enough no matter how long his touch lingered upon your body. It made you feel as if you were lacking, because you knew for sure he had no problems of this sort with his concubines. They often bragged to you about it. They had offered to help you to excite him and you nearly agreed to that but Feyd hated to see you around them. He snapped whenever he caught you talking to them or them approaching you.

He hated to see you around his uncle and brother, too. He had been warning you about them but it felt cruel to do so. Did he want you to not have any companionship at all? To be sad and lonely and miserable all your days?

You weren’t appreciated in marriage but you were appreciated as a part of this family – representing the na-baronship during the council meetings with your decisions and advice. The Baron seemed to be pleased with you and Count Rabban had stopped to make fun of you over time. Still waters run deep, The Baron would often say about you as your cheeks heated up and eyes sparkled. Perhaps all the years of studying the customs and tradition of this House would not be useful in your marriage but they seemed to be useful when it came to your political presence.

It still bothered you that Feyd-Rautha was acting so weirdly towards you. You remembered the boy he had been eight years earlier. You had never feared this union because you had been sure there was some sort of bond now between you two, some sort of connection. Perhaps you had been wrong.

It was right after one of Feyd’s failed attempts to claim you, when he left you half-naked in bed with tears pricking your eyes. He walked away and most likely went to his concubines as you fixed yourself and left the room, too, not wanting to remain in the chambers filled with the smell of embarrassment and humiliation anymore. You nearly crashed with your brother-in-law walking down the corridor.

“My Lady,” Rabban nodded at you. “Is everything alright?”

“Y-yes,” you answered, trying not to show your nervousness. There was no need for him to know the details about the problems your marriage was facing.

“I was just looking for you,” he confessed and you raised an eyebrow at him. “Tomorrow, my uncle wants me to lead the council meeting only for the most important members of the court. It’s about a matter of a very high importance and it’s confidential,” he whispered. “I hoped you would join me. Without my uncle there, I will be the only one representing our family.”

“But tomorrow Feyd has his fight. I am expected to be in the stands,” you looked up at him.

“Uncle will be there. You are more needed here, (Y/N),” Rabban tried to convince you. You could see his hands were a little shaky – he was stressed about the responsibility placed upon his shoulders by his uncle. “It’s not like Feyd will even notice your absence,” he added.

You bit on your lower lip. He was right.

“Alright, I’ll join you in the council,” you nodded your head. “Our state affairs are much more important than some fixed gladiator fight anyway.”

The servants’ slim fingers were applying the black paint upon Feyd-Rautha’s body as he observed his three harpies from the corner of his eye. They were giggling between each other and some of the words reached his sensitive ears.

“...naive…”

“Silly little thing.”

“...taste her heart…”

“What are you talking about, pets?” Feyd turned around to face them as he asked and they went silent.

“Nothing important, Master,” the bravest of them all answered eventually.

“I have a feeling you’re whispering about my wife,” Feyd pointed out.

“As I said, nothing important,” she chuckled and the rest giggled. Feyd squinted his eyes and approached them with a clenched jaw and an angry expression on his face. When he grabbed her by the chin, they stopped laughing.

“You are forbidden to even think of her,” he hissed out. “You’re not worthy of that.”

“M-Master…” She trembled as she pleaded for his softness. Her companions hid behind her and observed him carefully. “She doesn’t even know how to please you, Master.”

Feyd’s hand dropped down and the squeeze tightened around the woman’s neck. He watched her struggle to catch a breath for some time as he observed with a smirk. Eventually, he let go of her.

“My wife belongs to a different realm than you,” he stated. “She is not to be discussed, looked at, thought of… Am I understood?”

“Y-yes, Master,” they all nodded, obediently.

“Good,” he smiled and went back to the servant girls.

“You might be interested in the gossip, though, na-baron,” one of the concubines whispered. “We are your eyes and ears…”

Feyd pretended not to be intrigued although he was. He didn’t react, hoping she would say more. And so she did.

“Your uncle keeps the young na-baroness close. The rumour has it he wants to make her one of his agents. And she is slowly taking your place during the councils. Count Rabban is his Plan B if you fail. Then she will be given to him.”

“I’m sure Rabban won’t have a problem with fucking her,” the bravest concubine added as if his punishment had not worked at all. Because it didn’t. She loved his punishments. “Her innocence will only make him more eager. He will tear her apart.”

“Shut up!” Feyd growled, making the servant girls take a few steps back as he turned around to face the girl with a big mouth. “Let me remind you that I don’t need your tongue to fuck you,” he sneered. “Your sisters are better at using their tongues than you anyway.”

The woman looked down and he was informed that he was about to enter the arena in five minutes so he went back to putting the gear on, furiously clutching to his blades. He was grateful to his concubine for fueling his anger so much – he wanted to make good use of it in the arena.

But when he approached the tower with his uncle’s balcony to bow down, he spotted that his wife was not there. Suddenly, the fight made no sense to him at all. What was the point of putting on a show, what was the point of killing with grace when she could not watch?

He had been waiting eight years for her to come back. The timid little bunny girl that made him feel so warm inside. That made him feel like home. Nothing had ever made him feel this way. They were destined for each other. Now, when she was by his side, he had no idea what to do. He had been training his body for years to impress her and be able to protect her but nothing was working out the way he had planned. She was slipping away.

She was slipping away because of his uncle’s scheming and because Feyd-Rautha himself had no idea how to approach a creature so pure and innocent as this woman. If anything in this world was still able to save his rotten soul, it was her. But maybe he had been naive to think so. He was beyond saving.

He didn’t give the audience a show on that day. The fights were quick and swift. No playing with his victims, no tormenting. Just a kill after kill to finish it as fast as possible. And no bowing down at the end. He just walked out of the arena, still clutching his fists on the blood-dripping blades. He walked past the guards and servants, not wanting to change or bathe – he wanted one thing only. To find his wife.

The sounds of the cheering audience were becoming more and more quiet. They waited for him to walk back and bow down, raising his knife in the sign of victory. He had no plans in doing so. He would not kneel in front of his uncle. Not when his wife was not beside him, because it was her he had been kneeling for. Not Baron Harkonnen.

The council was over now but you stayed inside the conference room with Count Rabban to discuss what had been decided and what to tell his uncle. You were staring at the maps of Arrakis and wondering whether the Emperor’s assurances of help were trustworthy.

“What I’m saying is… If he is so willing to get rid of The Atreides just because he considers them to be dangerous… He might do the same to us one day. We are a real danger to him way more than any Atreides is,” you pointed out.

“Especially now when we have knowledge that can turn other leaders against him and…” Rabban’s words were interrupted by the heavy black doors opening rapidly. You flinched and instinctively hid behind your brother-in-law’s broad shoulders.

It was Feyd-Rautha himself walking inside with an angry look on his face. Wearing his gladiator gear stained with fresh blood and still wielding two bloody swords. He looked ferocious as his cold eyes searched for you. When he spotted you behind his brother, his jaw clenched and so did his fists on the handles of the blades.

“What is going on here?” He barked as you and Rabban looked at each other, questioningly.

“Husband,” you tried to be brave as you took a step ahead to approach him very carefully. “I see you’re finished now. I assume you’ve won.”

“(Y/N), wait,” Rabban grabbed your sleeve to keep you in place. He didn’t want you near Feyd in such a state. But Feyd didn’t like his brother’s gesture.

“Let her go, brother,” he snapped. “She is my wife and she will approach me if she wishes. I would never lay my hand on her,” he drawled through gritted teeth.

You felt Rabban’s fingers letting go of the fabric of your dress and you walked up to Feyd. Something inside you was telling you that he needed you at that moment. Perhaps that was the intuition of a wife.

“Oh, we all know that you don’t lay your hand on her at all, brother,” Rabban snorted at him.

You watched in terror how your husband’s face became even more angry than before. He yelled and attacked his brother with all the burning wrath he had before been trying to stop from outbursting with.

“No! Stop! Please,” you pleaded as they fought and struggled one against another. Rabban took out his own blade now, too, and they ended up wrestling on the floor like two children. “That is enough, please!” You cried out.

Your tears brought attention to only one of them – your husband. He was distracted by them and ended up with his brother’s blade pointed at his face. You froze and Rabban laughed with contempt.

“Such a great warrior you are, my brother. Trained day and night for years, got your little arena shows… And now you got distracted by a woman,” he pointed out.

“That woman is my wife,” Feyd drawled.

You looked around in panic but the guards stood there petrified. They were afraid to attack any of the brothers. Usually shy and timid, you felt an odd outburst of courage as you took a blade from the guard standing nearby. He did not protest but only watched in terror as you approached the brothers and pointed the blade at Count Rabban himself.

“Don’t be stupid,” he laughed at you.

“Let my husband go,” your voice shivered but you managed to stand your ground.

“Or what?” Rabban sneered. “We both know you won’t strike me.”

In that very moment Feyd kicked him and got out of the direction of his brother’s blade. He ended up on top with his own knife pointed at Rabban. A smirk on his face revealed that he had never been defeated even for a second, he was only toying with his brother… and with you, too.

“She might not but I will,” Feyd hissed at his brother. “My marriage is none of your business, brother. And you stay away from my wife.”

“I am only representing you during the councils,” you tried to explain and Feyd looked up at you with his brow furrowed. “Your uncle told me I should because you rarely take place in them.”

“He’s scheming, can’t you see? Trying to turn us against each other. Thought you were smarter than this,” his anger was directed at you now.

He let go of Rabban and stood up to walk out of the room. You swallowed thickly and lowered your blade, scared of your brother-in-law’s reaction now when you were left alone with him after threatening him.

“Why did you take his side?” He only asked as you gave the blade back to the guard. “He doesn’t treat you any good. He never will.”

“He is my husband,” you explained quietly, avoiding his curious gaze.

“By name only. Your marriage is not even consummated.”

“Feyd was right,” you looked up. “Our marriage is none of your business, brother,” you emphasised who he was to you now before walking out to follow Feyd. It was easy because he left a trail of sand and blood from the arena behind him.

He went to your chambers so you took a deep breath in and pushed the doors open to face him in all his wrath and anger. He was struggling to get out of his gear with shaky hands as he shot you a furious glance over his shoulder.

“Should I call for the servants?” You asked.

“No,” he snapped and you sighed before approaching him and helping him yourself. At first he tried to shake you off but you were stubborn so he gave up and allowed your gentle fingertips to work on the pieces of clothing. “How do you even know how to do that?” He asked. “Did Rabban show you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, dear husband. I’ve read dozens of books about The Harkonnen art of warfare. I know your gears by heart. And Rabban is no gladiator,” you explained.

“Dozens of books about the art of warfare and The Harkonnens and yet it slipped your mind what masters of manipulation we can be?” Feyd barked at you and you chuckled. He didn’t find it amusing as he looked you up and down with contempt so you leaned in and placed a kiss upon his soft lips while your hands cupped his face. He was visibly taken aback by that, he didn’t even close his eyes for the kiss and he continued to observe you as if you would attack him any second.

“I have studied everything like a good pupil I was,” you whispered after breaking the kiss. Your hands kept caressing his cheeks in a soothing manner. “And now I’m one of The Baron’s closest people. I’m your inside man, Feyd-Rautha,” you smiled gently and his eyes sparkled at the realisation.

“But… why?” He only asked, confused.

“What do you mean why?” You bit on your lower lip.

“I’ve been treating you… coldly,” he admitted.

“Well, that is another matter. But that is between you and me. The marriage is between a husband and a wife. Not between them and his uncle or brother,” you explained. “I still remember that big fat spider. I’ve known ever since I was twelve years old that the thing you crave the most is to gut your uncle like you did to that monstrosity in the dungeons. And as your wife… I will do everything I can to help you,” you assured him.

But Feyd was not convinced. He pushed you away although he did it way gentler than you’d expect. He walked away from you as he stepped out of the pile of clothes by his feet. He was wearing nothing but underwear now and you watched how his muscular body glistened with sweat after the fight. 

“You can be a double agent, wife. I don’t trust you,” he confessed.

“You have no reasons to,” you nodded. “Except for the fact we have fate and destiny bonding us. Am I the only one feeling this when we touch?” Your voice lowered as uncertainty began to grow inside of you. Perhaps you were. Perhaps you were the only one feeling that warmth indeed.

“No,” Feyd admitted, nearly inaudibly. “Why do you think I can’t fuck you?” He approached you again and you gasped at how close he chose to stand.

“Because you find me unattractive? Or boring perhaps,” you shrugged your arms. “I don’t care about that. Our bond is stronger than physical attraction.”

“I can’t fuck you because that feeling is overwhelming me and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt like that. You’re too pure for me,” he confessed, visibly uncomfortable with his own words as he looked away.

You were stunned for a moment.

“You’re an idiot, Feyd-Rautha,” you laughed eventually and he blushed. “I am not pure. I am flesh and blood just like you,” you told him. “For example now… When you’re standing in front of me… like this,” you allowed your hand to wander all over his hard muscles. “You’re starting a fire that will be difficult to put out later,” you looked up to meet his gaze. “Every time you start and don’t finish, you leave me in torment,” you confessed. “And nothing helps,” you pouted. “I writhe and I roll around and grow more and more bitter knowing that you’re giving your whores what you’re supposed to give me.”

He was nearly paralyzed in a way he was staring at you. You grabbed his hand and pulled your dress up to press his hand to your womanhood. You were soaking through your underwear now and he blinked a few times as his gaze intensified.

“I will never forgive myself if I break you,” Feyd took his hand away despite your protests.

“You’re breaking me by refusing to touch me,” you whined.

“Touch yourself,” he said suddenly as his eyes sparkled and you were left speechless. “Touch yourself for me. I will help you. I’ll make it feel good,” he proposed.

Out of desperation, you decided this was better than nothing – at least for now – so you agreed. As fast as possible, you got rid of your dress and remained in nothing but your sheer underdress. You laid on the bed and watched him approach you. Feyd laid next to you, observing you carefully. His eyes were admiring every curve of your body and every inch of your skin. Without waiting for his command, you pulled the underdress up and took off your underwear to toss the panties aside and start playing with your wet folds. It was embarrassing to see him watch but it also excited you in some twisted way. You toyed with your clit, moaning softly, showing him what kind of pleasure you could bring to yourself – what kind of pleasure you had to bring to yourself since he refused to do so.

“Easy, slow down,” Feyd breathed out and placed his rough hand on your waist. He was caressing you and joined your lips together in a sloppy kiss. His free hand undid the ribbon on the top of your underdress to free your breasts. They shivered under the touch of his big hand as he played with your nipples and buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your sweet scent and sucking on the sensitive skin below your ear.

You shut your eyes close, trying to focus on the pleasure as your fingers rubbed on your sensitive swollen clit but it was not enough. It never was.

“I can’t…” You admitted your defeat as you tried to catch a breath.

“Yes, you can,” Feyd whispered into your ear in that low, raspy voice of his that sent shivers down your body and straight to your core. “What’s stopping you?”

“It’s just… I don’t know…” You didn’t know how to find the right words. “It’s not enough,” you admitted. “It’s not you.”

“Let me, then,” he raised himself to look into your eyes as his hand moved your hand away and his fingers replaced yours on your exposed clit. You gasped at the feeling of his fingertips drawing circles and teasing your entrance. 

You pressed your hands to his chest and then you moved them lower to explore the hard muscles of his abs. To feel them underneath your fingers was enough to make your back arch needily, exposing even more of your hungry pussy. Feyd smirked at that and buried his fingers deep inside as you gasped out of pain but it was quickly replaced with pleasure.

His free hand grabbed your chin gently and when you looked up, batting your eyelashes and opening your lips slightly, he put his fingers inside of your mouth and you grabbed his wrist to hold on to it as you sucked and moaned. His other hand was bringing you close to your release as his movements were fast and rough and his thumb circled your clit.

You cried out but his fingers muffled it so you ended up choking on the sound escaping your lips as you came writhing under him with sweaty forehead and single hair strands sticking to your face, your whole body set on fire, trying to catch a breath. Feyd swallowed thickly as his eyes sparkled.

You yelped as he smacked your sensitive pussy right after pulling his fingers out of it and licking them clean, looking deep into your eyes. You were speechless as your mind was left thoughtless.

You could only watch him lower himself and open your thighs even further with his strong arms as he buried his face between your legs to lap on your juices. You were sensitive so it burned in the beginning but the uncomfortable feeling submerged into pleasure once again. Feyd’s tongue was cleaning your folds thoroughly and penetrating you while you threw your head back as you laid your hands on the back of his neck, keeping him close. But this time he didn’t let you cum so easily.

When you were about to reach the peak again, he moved his head away and the next thing you saw was his face right in front of yours, his chin dripping with your wetness and his cold eyes filled with so much fire that you felt like a prey trapped by a big predator.

But you loved that feeling. You loved to feel small and tiny under him, trapped, vulnerable. You dug your nails into his biceps and looked down. He had already tossed his underwear aside and his cock was hard now, swollen and aching for you, you could see it twitching and leaking black precum. He looked heavy and big and you wanted him badly to claim you and violate you to the point no other man would ever even think of touching you after him.

You had never made him that hard. You had never gone so far before. You were sure you’d succeed now.

“Take me, claim me, make me yours,” you pleaded. “Please, I want more of you.”

Feyd shut you up with a kiss and a strong, stinging pain of his hard cock finally penetrating you. Your eyes widened as you whined. He intertwined your fingers together and held you through the process of adjustment to his size. You were the first one to impatiently rock your hips to show him you wanted him to move. So he did, slowly and carefully. He winced from his attempts to keep himself in control and you let go of his hands to pull him closer by his shoulders and deepen the kiss.

You moaned softly and helped him to fuck you by you rocking your hips against him as your legs wrapped around his waist. You both had been waiting so long for this moment of unity that it didn’t take long for you two to reach your highs and the familiar feeling of warmth filled you whole. You didn’t remember your own name, the only thing you knew was that you were home and the man above you was destined for you; you were born to be his wife and he was born to be your husband. The thousands of years of manipulation of the bloodlines had led you to this moment and nothing could tear you apart now. No amount of rumours, scheming or the disability to show emotions.

You were catching your breath as Feyd was slowly coming back from his high above you, panting heavily and looking at your face with hazy eyes.

“You belong to me,” he leaned in to kiss your lips again. “You always have.”

“No matter what happens, we are one,” you agreed with a nod and intertwined your fingers with him as you held his hand. “Now, when that is settled, we shall focus on our most important task.”

“And that is?”

“Killing the fat spider in his nest,” you answered.

“Thankfully, we have experience,” Feyd teased before placing yet another soft kiss upon your parted lips.

MASTERLIST

#feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #austin butler x reader #lilysfiction

[jensettermandu]

tongue tied - kim chaewon , huh yunjin

genre; fluff (a lot of it), angst, high school au, sfw

pairing; chaewon x female reader x yunjin

content; a lot of pining, mentions of injuries, soccer and cheer-leading but there's no need for any knowledge of the sports, mentions of insecurities and anxiety, idk there's nothing more to warn about; it's sfw

synopsis; it's the last year of high school, the girls' soccer team is on a roll and the cheer team wins yet another elite competition. it seems as if things cannot get any better for the girls, however, love is never easy, especially when the captain of the soccer team, huh yunjin, is in love with her best friend who she is too afraid to lose to make a move on. that is until her new team/schoolmate, kim chaewon, shows interest in the cheerleader and sometimes all that's needed is a final push to take a leap of faith before it’s too late.

wc; 25.9k+ words (the plan was to make it much shorter...sorry)

songs; bad habit - steve lacy , ditto - newjeans , things i'll never say - avril lavigne , to love - suki waterhouse , what would i do? - strawberry guy

masterlist

“And lastly…” The girl trailed off as they took the last few steps between the high bleachers, the sun momentarily blinding them as the big field that was filled came into view. The voices echoed through the space with shouts, cheers and whistles being blown. “This is the field where we hold pep rallies, events, games, practice et cetera.” She explained, gesturing towards the green grass that didn’t look real from the strong colour it carried, shining as it looked watered. 

Chaewon’s eyes scanned the bleachers behind her where a couple of students were sitting, looking around and over the green field. Jimin–the girl who showed her around school this morning–pointed towards the girls who were in white shorts and light blue jerseys. 

“There is the girls' soccer team, we have a boys' team too. Both play in the state championship this year to try and get into nationals again,” she continued to explain. “We have basketball, swimming, water polo, table tennis, track–” Her gaze shifted where Jimin pointed towards the other side of the field. 

“And a cheerleading team as you can see, however, they are a level seven team that competes on an elite level.” Chaewon felt herself flinch at the three girls who were flung into the air, making her squint her eyes to see better as the sun was blinding her. She had seen cheerleading before at her previous school, but not as advanced as this team looked. 

“What was that?” She asked as the three girls fell back down, being caught by the guys who were their bases. 

“Uhm, kick-kick double basket,” Jimin replied seemingly having the stuff memorised. 

“And who’s that?” Chaewon continued to ask, subtly pointing with her head towards the girl in the middle with a single base under her this time, doing a heel stretch. 

“That’s Y/n, the captain, a talented flyer and tumbler, just generally good at cheerleading.”

“Oh wow.” Jimin hummed at Chaewon who continued to watch the cheerleading team, fully enthralled by what was going on. 

After a good minute of the two girls looking at the team doing baskets and other stunts, Jimin spoke up, realising that she still had to help the new girl out a little bit more before getting to watch her friends’ morning practice. 

“So, are you interested in any of the teams? Have you done anything? Swimming? Table tennis? Track?” She questioned.

Chaewon took one last glance at the girls and guys from the cheer team before she walked with Jimin. Her eyes fell on the soccer team that was in the middle of a practice game against each other. 

“I was part of the soccer team.” The shorter girl mentioned as they walked along the empty track field, hands in the pockets of her jeans to occupy them with something. Her eyes followed the ball that was passed around, the callouts of the girls being incoherent to her ears from far away. 

“Any good?” 

Chaewon hummed, nodding her head as she looked away from the field and at Jimin. She took pride in her soccer skills as she had played for as long as she had walked. “Captain and starting striker.” It was enough to shine through her little shell whenever soccer was mentioned and she could go on for days talking about it and how much she loves playing. 

“Well, I’m not sure if you will make it into the starting lineup now that the season has started, but I can talk to Yunjin.” 

It was unfortunate that her family had to suddenly move to another city a month into her senior year. It was unexpected, but Chaewon couldn’t argue about it and so her fate brought her here. She had to settle in and try to fit in too which usually wasn’t a problem, however, this was the last year of high school and people were bound to already have their close friends. 

“Yunjin?” Her head tilted at the name and Jimin nodded her head as she proceeded to explain. 

“The captain and current starting striker. She will talk to you and the coach.”

“Oh.” She gave a curt nod, knowing already that to have the spot she used to have on her old team she would have to work for it in the new environment. Chaewon was sure of her skills in the end even if the season had already started, she couldn’t stay benched for all of it. 

“That’s her,” Jimin said as the whistle blew, pointing towards the girl who ran across the field and away from the rest of the team. 

“Ew, ew, ew, ew.” 

“Ew?” Yunjin confusedly questioned, her eyebrows furrowing, but her grip on the petite girl stayed as she had her arms wrapped around her from behind. 

“You’re all sweaty, Jen.” Y/n cried out, trying to squirm out of the girl's hold. 

Yunjin huffed and let go of Y/n, the shorter girl turned on her heels and gave her a small shove against her chest to have her step back. The ginger grumbled and pulled up the hem of her jersey to wipe away any remaining sweat on her face after practice. The second the whistle blew and she was dismissed she grabbed her stuff and ran over to the cheer team. 

“Stop flexing your tummy for everyone.” Yunjin groaned as her stomach was smacked and she let go of her shirt. Her eyes back on the cheerleader who cringed as the captain's stomach was just as sweaty. The ginger clicked her tongue and grabbed Y/n’s hand to wipe it with her shirt. 

“God, you’re so dramatic.” She commented, her eyes stuck on Y/n’s face as the girl smiled at her, it was enough to make the corners of Yunjin’s lips lift too. It was as if she was struck by something from nowhere, everything inside her stomach started to shift and she felt giddy. It was her source of energy because it would always surge through her whenever she looked at Y/n; she considered the girl her lucky charm. 

Her eyes crinkled at how good it felt; her best friend was the best feeling in the world. 

“Don’t you just love it when I am?” Y/n questioned with an eloquent grin as she knew the answer.

Yunjin could feel her face heat up with her own words as Y/n picked up her gym bag after pulling away from the taller girl. “I tend to love everything about your annoying self.” She commented, her heart picking up like it always did when she said these things to Y/n. It made her nervous and Y/n’s replies only made her more flustered and she found herself digging through all the signs to understand if it was what she hoped it was. 

“You’re my favourite person,” hearing that from Y/n always brightened not only her day but her soul which could at times fall into a gloom of insecurities. 

Yunjin was the captain of the soccer team and had been for the past three years which resulted in a lot of faith being put on her, trusting her sportsmanship and leadership, especially during soccer season. The team, the school, the coach, her friends and family, and people on the bleachers all counted on the team and it was her job to make sure they worked as a team. Any errors always gnawed at her and made her doubt her skill as a captain.

She knew that she wasn’t the only one who was under a lot of pressure, the girl who clung to her arm as they waited for the rest of their friends was under just as much pressure. All her friends were, but she could only find solace in one person and one person only: Y/n. Yunjin could open up about anything to her, tell her everything–almost everything–because she knew that Y/n would be there for her as she had been there since middle school, sixth grade. 

Along the way that trust and adoration seemed to evolve into more, but how couldn’t it? Y/n was everything Yunjin dreamed of and she had never dreamed of more than soccer. It wasn’t like she had a picture of a dream partner or life before, but after she met Y/n and with years that went by and when high school started, she understood what it meant for a dream to get built around a person. Her dream was soccer and she built it around Y/n as each choice she made involved thoughts of her best friend.

When high school started she realised what it meant to build her dreams around a person. It meant to be in love.

“Who’s that with Jimin?” Y/n diverted the conversation she was having with Yunjin, placing her chin on the taller girl’s shoulder as she stood on her toes, arms wrapped around the ginger’s waist. It felt warm, but not the kind of warm Yunjin felt from the sun and running around on the field; it was the type that brewed on the inside like a fireplace that warmed up a home.

She hummed and her eyes searched the field until they landed on Jimin walking along the running track with a girl she hadn’t seen before. “I don’t know…” She trailed off, her eyes squinted the slightest to try to see if she maybe did recognise the girl, but she didn’t. Yunjin squirmed at the ticklish feeling when Y/n blew air against her ear, the girl giggling as she let go of the ginger who turned. 

Before she could utter a single word, Y/n grabbed her hand and tugged it so she would walk with her. “Zuha–” She called for the cheerleader who was packing up the last of her stuff before turning to the two. Y/n received a hum from her friend as Yunjin let herself be dragged after her. “Did you hear anything about the girl Jimin is with?” The shorter girl questioned, gesturing with her head towards the girl in question.

“Nope, I don’t remember her mentioning anything.” Kazuha, one of the tumblers on the team, replied as she walked over to the two. All three turned back around and looked at the two. 

“That’s the new girl.” Their attention was torn away from the two as they looked at the guy who was one of the bases, Yeonjun. 

“There’s someone new starting?” Yunjin questioned, confused by the guy’s words. She frowned, her thumb smoothing over Y/n’s knuckles as she tried to figure out why someone would change schools in their senior year. Not to mention, school started a month ago. 

“Well, she’s not here to just look at the school.” Yunjin rolled her eyes at the guy’s mordant remark as it was obvious. 

“We’re going to be late for bio,” Yujin exhaled after she ran across the field with her soccer gear to them.

Yunjin looked at the time on her phone as she leaned against the wall outside the locker rooms after getting changed. “You’re not coming?” Yujin questioned as she walked out of the girls’ soccer team's locker, fixing the bag on her shoulder.

“I will be there–” She was cut off as the girl waved her off, passing by her.

“Yeah, you want to walk with Y/n, don’t be too late.” She dismissed and Yunjin rolled her eyes at the second striker who walked away. 

The girl wasn’t one to break her routines, not the ones with Y/n at least. All classes started in around eight minutes and Y/n’s physics class was right on the way to bio. Yunjin picked at her nails as she waited for the girl, thinking of her day as she tried to plan what she would do after school. It all consisted of soccer and Y/n as she either would practise by staying behind at school or would leave with Y/n to spend time.

She sighed as she hated the way time always went by so slowly without the cheerleader, but Yunjin couldn’t help but also hate how fast it went by with Y/n there. It was almost as if it wasn’t enough, 24 hours of the day weren’t enough for her with the girl and she had a feeling it would never be. 

The thoughts of the girl raced in her head, making her heart race too as they always ended with her trying to think of ways to let Y/n know. How it would be if she spilled what more laid behind her as she loved Y/n more than a best friend. How it would be once Y/n would hear these words that ran deeper than adoration and how good it would feel when she would hear those same things leave Y/n’s lips. It made her smile as she continued to pick at her fingers and she tried to contain it to not look stupid, but she was a fool for her best friend and Yunjin didn’t mind it one bit.

However, her stomach would always turn inside out at the thought of the opposite happening if she told Y/n the truth about what coursed through her veins when she was with her. The thoughts of rejection, loss, longing, and dreams being shattered. Yunjin couldn’t afford the loss of someone alive because it would be too painful, and Y/n would be too painful to lose. 

Then came the thoughts of rejection, but not losing her best friend either way because she knew Y/n better than that. The girl wouldn’t leave her simply because Yunjin was in love with her, but there was a possibility that she wouldn’t return the feelings. Those thoughts seemed to tie the biggest knots around her heart; the thoughts of Y/n not feeling the same, to begin with even if she wouldn’t put distance between them after.

Yunjin was stuck on the belief that Y/n was in love with her whether that was true or not, it didn’t matter. It was what made her heart content; thinking about silently being in love with each other and not taking the step–the silent agreement of loving and not finding anyone else even if they didn’t take the step to be more than silent lovers. 

Of course, Yunjin dreamed of more, but she could settle on skinny love as long as it was Y/n.

Those giggles, smiles, eyes, Y/n’s voice, words, lips, the girl’s heart and soul; it was all more than enough for her in a silent agreement of loving each other but never confessing it out loud.

She was too scared to say those words out loud because, at the back of her head, she knew that there was a possibility that maybe she was wrong about it all. The thought alone was enough to keep her words at bay to not have to face the possible reality of being the only one.

“You’re looking all cute again.” Yunjin looked up, scrunching up her nose to rid herself of the smile that had stitched itself on her face while she waited. Y/n smiled and grabbed the girl by the hem of her hoodie, tugging at it and making the taller girl walk with her. 

“I like your jacket,” the ginger complimented as she had on the school varsity jacket that held Yunjin’s name and number, being oversized on Y/n’s petite body.

“It’s from my favourite closet.” The smile came right back onto Yunjin’s lips as she looked over Y/n who was in her jacket. The cheerleader walked closer to Yunjin and grabbed hold of her arm, wrapping it around her shoulders as they walked through the hallway to head for their lockers and then to class.

“Do you have any plans after school?” 

“You didn’t ask me to hang out yet so no.” Yunjin chuckled at Y/n’s words, giving the girl a light shove as they approached the girl’s class. 

“I will wait by my car after classes end.” She settled.

“Yeah, I will see you at lunch…You’re going to be late.” Y/n showed her lock screen to Yunjin, her eyes first landing on the wallpaper that was her during one of their late-night Facetime calls before seeing that class started in four minutes. 

“I don’t care,” the captain tried to stay nonchalant about it, wishing to spend at least a few more minutes or at least seconds with the girl. She knew that the next time she looked at the clock four minutes would already have passed because it didn’t wait around when they were with each other. Yunjin needed some more time to prepare for the next two classes without Y/n who would feel like they dragged on for ages even if she had their other friends to keep company.

“You do,” she watched as Y/n turned on her heels as they stood outside the open door to the classroom. The girl pressed it as Yunjin tried to keep her attendance in check because bad attendance and grades meant no soccer. 

“I really don’t.”

“I can bet that the second I walk inside I will hear you run.” Y/n teased and Yunjin looked away at that, licking her lips.

“No, I won’t, but you should head inside since class starts soon.” 

“Or I should head inside so you can hurry and not be late?” The ginger looked back at Y/n who was looking up at her with a wide smile, tongue poking at her canine before she bit her lower lip. It made Yunjin take in a breath as she felt her heart tumble down onto the floor for Y/n again as she couldn’t help but fall every time; waiting for Y/n to pick it up and carry it the way she would carry the girl’s. 

Oh, how proudly she would carry Y/n’s heart if she had it; Yunjin would take care of it as if her life depended on it because it did. Her happiness depended on Y/n’s happiness. 

“No, I don’t care about being late.” 

“Sure, Jen,” Y/n giggled and wrapped her free hand around Yunjin’s waist to hug her before they parted ways. The captain without question returned the hug as her arm draped around Y/n’s shoulders. That sweet flowery scent invaded her and she loved it; the most when the cheerleader left it to linger in her bedroom after they hung out. It brought her the same type of comfort that her home did, Y/n was her home. 

“I will see you at lunch.” The shorter girl hummed and tilted her head to look up at Yunjin while pulling away to leave a kiss on the girl's warm cheek before giving her a small push so she would let go. 

“You’re about to be late for real,” Y/n commented while Yunjin watched the girl walk inside, her eyes widening and bringing her out of the daydream that Y/n was before bolting through the hallway. 

Chaewon had never been one to silently sit alone and away from everyone in a classroom, but she couldn’t help but feel intimidated. She wasn’t one to approach either because of her shy nature. All those friends she had made as a kid were back in her hometown. It felt different now that she was in 12th grade compared to middle school or lower. It didn’t feel as easy to approach someone. 

Slowly she was coming to terms that she would possibly spend her senior year alone at the back of the class. It was her pessimistic and despair-filled side talking as it appeared stronger ever since she was told that they were moving to a new city. 

Her last hope was the soccer team, but even that felt like a far reach as the friendships maybe wouldn’t go outside the field. Everyone already had their friends and she now felt like an outcast for being new so late into high school.

It wasn’t fair and she hated it. 

She picked at her nails, staring down at them while trying to bury the nerves and anxiety of a new place. The sound of new laughter made her look up as the classroom was loud the whole time and the teacher had yet to arrive. Her eyes landed at the entrance of the classroom, she caught a glimpse of that orange hair she had seen on the field earlier as the soccer captain was hugging the cheer captain. 

She found herself staring, eyes glued to the cheerleader who stepped inside the class with a smile. Chaewon shivered, assuming it was from the cold table under her bare forearms as she pursed her lips, fighting the urge to let a small smile form on her lips. Y/n was too pretty and her smile didn’t look like it should be ignored without smiling back, but then again, Chaewon was invincible and would stay invincible until the end of the year.

Y/n wasn’t looking her way, she was talking to a few girls at the front.

It wasn’t like Chaewon knew the girl, but it already made her think about how much she would possibly miss out on if she didn’t get the courage to talk to someone. Maybe not the cheer captain right away, but anyone. It would be sombre to be alone during the whole senior year.

The bell rang and she watched as everyone proceeded to take seats in the chairs that were still empty while the teacher entered. It made her wince at how the chairs screeched along the floors, the chatter turning into hushed whispers as the man at the front put his stuff down. 

“Looks like your seat is at the back today, Y/n, maybe we will go through a class without talking since it’s next to Kim Chaewon, our new student.” His words were followed by small giggles and Y/n who clicked her tongue. 

Chaewon felt herself get breathless at the panic she felt of people suddenly noticing her after being a ghost at the back. She had no clue what to do so she avoided gazes that were on her all while suddenly feeling too warm in her clothes.

She could feel that her face was red. Or maybe it wasn’t? Now she was panicking over whether she looked anxious or not. Her heart rate increased, pounding against her ribcage so harshly it made her feel weak. Was she going to have a panic attack in front of everyone on her first day? It was starting to muffle her ears and her fists clenched as they were clammy now. 

Chaewon’s wide eyes gazed around the classroom as the girl sat down beside you, the scent of sweet flowers managed to cloud her, pulling her away from the anxiety and grounding her. The class went almost completely silent, the hushed whispers even more faint now as the teacher started to talk. She tried to calm herself down before it got worse.

“Where did you transfer from?” Heat ran across Chaewon’s back when the girl beside her spoke up after a few minutes of the lecture, everyone too engulfed to take notice of them at the back. 

She parted her lips, suddenly not remembering where she grew up before she managed to push an answer from her throat with a slight quiver. “Austin, Texas.” Chaewon cleared her throat and swallowed, subtly glancing over at the girl beside her who was looking at the front. It sounded stale and she was afraid that she ruined her only chance to make friends.

“That’s far—” It was, it truly was far as she now lived in Long Island, New York. She looked to the side, her eyes meeting Y/n’s and she held her breath for a second as she hadn’t expected the girl to be looking back at her, not with those intense eyes. Chaewon couldn’t hold eye contact, her gaze faltering onto the table. “I assume that it kind of sucks to move, especially in your last year.” 

“It’s–Yeah, it does suck.” She couldn’t help but admit to how much it sucked. It felt alienating and a big part of her was still pessimistic about this change and another still held some resentment towards her parents even if it wasn’t their fault that her mother got transferred to the new job. 

Y/n hummed at that, the girl unable to stop casting glances at the cheerleader, constantly picking up on her features with each glance cast at her. Her nerves eased, but new ones appeared as she was sitting beside a pretty girl who was talking to her with such ease it felt like they already knew each other. 

There was a flow as Y/n continued to ask questions about her throughout the lesson–Chaewon realised what the teacher meant at the start, but she didn’t mind because suddenly all those doubts about her senior year disappeared.

Before she could take in a word the teacher said the class was over and her most dreaded day was slowly becoming one that wasn’t dragging along, but flying by. 

“Okay, what does your schedule look like?” Y/n asked as everyone was gathering their stuff, the two girls taking their time and staying behind. Chaewon showed her phone to the girl where she had her schedule.

“We have physics, maths and P.E. together, you also have classes with some of my other friends–maths now and lunch after so…” Y/n trailed off and the girl got her phone handed back. Chaewon’s momentary confusion dissipated and she got the memo, grabbing her stuff to walk with the girl. 

“I forgot to ask about her number and now she might as well be lost somewhere at school. I was supposed to introduce you two.” Jimin explained and Yunjin did her best to listen and indulge in the conversation after the new girl was brought up, but she was too busy waiting for Y/n to finally arrive at the canteen. 

“Where’s Y/n?” She asked as the new girl hadn’t managed to pique her interest.

“Are you listening?” Jimin questioned.

“What does the new girl have to do with anything?” The ginger questioned, poking at the food with her fork. She had yet to meet her and she hadn’t listened to what Jimin was saying at all. 

“You’re the soccer captain.”

“Yeah,” she confirmed, looking up at Jimin with a frown.

“It’s like talking to a wall.”

“Tell me about it,” Yujin commented, earning laughter from the other two at the table. 

“You don’t think you could fix her a spot on the team?” This time Yunjin was listening and her frown deepened for a second. 

“The season already started and we’re a full team,” it felt like a risk to take someone new onto the team when they had been playing together for months now, some even years. 

“She said she was captain and starting striker in her previous school.” The girl beside her replied with a shrug.

“I–” The ginger didn’t get to reply as she got distracted by the three girls that were heading their way. There were just certain auras that drew people to them, Y/n and Kazuha were two people with that kind of aura, or maybe it was just Y/n since that was who Yunjin always found herself drawn to.

“Looks like she’s not lost at all,” Yeonjun commented, right beside Y/n was the new girl and Yunjin knew just how easy-going her best friend was. Anyone was able to be comfortable around her, all it took was a few words from Y/n and the person was lost, anticipating what she would say next. Yunjin knew that and she loved that.

Chaewon looked over at the four people at the table, that nervousness clouded her again as she had just been able to slowly crawl out of her shy shell around Y/n and somewhat with Kazuha. The eyes on her made her want to retract right back inside her shell of comfort and security. 

She almost flinched at the hand that brushed over her before it grabbed gently hold of her wrist. The talking between all of them was still being processed as the girl was too busy looking around to avoid making eye contact first. She pursed her lips and held her breath at the nerves as the cheer captain pulled her over to the table. 

“And this is Yunjin…” The cheer captain introduced everyone at the table, quickly making them acquainted. 

For the first few minutes, Chaewon knew that she was mostly sitting in silence, unsure of what to say, however, she was more than thankful for Y/n who included her and worked as a mediator, especially between the two other girls–Yunjin and Yujin–who played soccer. At the back of her mind, Chaewon knew that she was enthralled by Y/n, feeling like she wouldn’t feel as welcomed and at ease if it hadn’t been for the girl. The girl was her only safe space in the huge school at the moment.

She quickly came to the realisation that she had been worrying too much and that maybe her senior year wouldn’t be too bad as she got along with both Yunjin and Yujin. 

“What do you think about Chaewon?” Yunjin hummed at the question, her eyes trained on the screen of her phone that she was playing on. Y/n’s fingers continued to comb through her hair, making occasional small braids as she rested her head in the girl’s lap, lying in Yunjin’s bed.

There wasn’t much to think about, Yunjin was still getting to know the girl, but from today alone she had an answer that was good enough. 

“She’s cool, I don’t know what I was expecting, but yeah, she’s chill.”

“You two seemed to get along with all your soccer talk.”

She glanced up at Y/n through her lashes, rolling her eyes at the teasing smile that rested on the girl’s pretty lips. Yunjin bit her lower lip for a second and looked back at her phone screen to finish up as she continued to talk,

“Whatever, it’s one of the things we have in common so far.”

“No matter how cool you think soccer makes you, you’re such a nerd about it.” 

“Hey!” The ginger complained, turning her phone off and putting it on her nightstand as she sat up, turning to face Y/n who was leaning against the headboard. 

“But in a good way, I love seeing that it makes you happy and keeps you passionate,” she watched the smile grow bigger on Y/n’s lips as the girl grabbed hold of the strings of her hoodie and tugged her closer. 

Soccer did keep Yunjin passionate, but her best friend was yet another thing that kept her passionate; their friendship and Y/n were something she was utterly passionate about. 

“I have the best support system known to man, consisting of my family, friends and most importantly you.” She told the truth and nothing else to her best friend, grabbing Y/n’s hands that were holding onto the strings of her hoodie, cupping them in hers and warming Y/n’s colder hands. 

The cheer captain hummed at that. “Ditto.” 

“So…What do you think about Chaewon? You seemed to get along.” Yunjin questioned, dropping her gaze onto their hands as Y/n was playing with her fingers, intertwining them and pressing their palms together as they sat facing each other. That smile was one the ginger couldn’t even fight, Y/n’s touch was soothing and spread a warmth through her that reminded her of home.

“She’s cute.”

One thing Yunjin hated was that she had grown so attached and used to Y/n and her being this one force of a silent agreement that these unelaborated comments made her stomach drop. The ginger knew that she shouldn’t be so sensitive, but each day she woke up with a fear that maybe the silent agreement was one-sided. 

Each night she went to bed and woke up afraid that things would be different. What if someone took her place? Not as a best friend because she knew that was set in stone, but in this fantasy she hoped was true.

Yunjin pushed through it though as she knew better and knew how wrong it was to feel this way. “Cute?” She curiously asked, waiting for Y/n to elaborate, hoping Y/n didn’t find Chaewon cuter than her. Was ‘cute’ enough for Y/n to drop the silent agreement? The one Yunjin hoped was real.

“With how shy she is.”

She looked up at Y/n and nodded her head in understanding, familiar with Chaewon’s shy nature after today.

“You’re not gonna replace me, are you?”

“Oh my God, Yunjin.” 

“Yunjin!?” The ginger let out in panic as her hands were dropped by Y/n who raised her eyebrows, giving her a once over with a judging look.

“Yes, Huh Yunjin,” Y/n confirmed with a click of her tongue, never calling her Yunjin because she had always been Jen to her. 

“Stop it.” She complained, loving how Jen was the only thing Y/n called her and everyone else would call her Yunjin. It was like Y/n was the only one aware of her other name even if it wasn’t true. Everyone just silently agreed that Jen was reserved for Y/n.

“Why on earth would you ever even say that.” 

“I’m just making sure,” she whined back at Y/n, but she knew that she didn’t have to, it was a joke because she knew that she would never be replaced as the girl’s best friend. That was why it was the least of her worries.

“I’m hurt–like actually hurt that you even have to make sure—” Her lips parted as Y/n was about to get up from the bed, Yunjin earning a huff of disbelief from the girl. “I think I’m gonna cry.”

“Now you’re being dramatic, come here.” 

“No!” Yunjin laughed when Y/n yelped as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist after she had stood up from the bed. She pulled her back down, Y/n landing on top of her with her back, trying to wiggle out of Yunjin’s grip who continued to giggle at the poor attempts. 

“I love you and know that you would never replace me in any way possible. You and I are forever like we promised in sixth grade.” She mumbled as Y/n heaved a sigh, the striker felt the girl give up and relax in her hold. Yunjin took the chance to bury her nose in Y/n’s hair as the girl rested her head on her shoulder, staring up at the white ceiling as a moment of silence fell between them.

“Yunjin…” 

“Mm?” Yunjin pulled back and lifted her head only to flinch when Y/n turned around and flicked her forehead. “Ow–”

“Don’t joke like that again, I don’t want to think about it ‘cause it hurts to think about it.”

She pouted at those words as she sat up with Y/n sitting beside her, “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be, I know some people can’t help the fact that they are stupid.” Y/n dismissed with a smile as she looked over her shoulder at Yunjin.

“Yeah, you’re walking tomorrow,” 

“Who says I’m staying the night?”

“Me and I still pick you up even when you stay at home, now sleep.” The ginger demanded, pulling Y/n back down and reaching over for the bedside lamp.

“But I–” She shushed the girl, pushing her head back down on the pillow as the lights went out and she pulled the duvet over them.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” The girl beside her heaved a sigh and moved, Yunjin offering her arm as per usual, letting Y/n rest her head on her shoulder and hug her waist, knowing she couldn’t sleep without hugging something or someone. 

“Goodnight, Jen,” Yunjin smiled at the name and hummed, the fear of being replaced when she woke up less present as the girl she loved fell asleep in her arms.  

Chaewon realised that she had been too pessimistic, but the good thing was that she could change her views under the right circumstances where changing her perception would come in handy. Throughout the week she felt less and less dread for school when she went to bed and then woke up after being lucky enough to be found by Y/n on her first day. She felt welcomed and instantly accepted by the group without any tension. 

Tuesday came and she felt her purpose start to sparkle again as she was accepted onto the soccer team even if it wasn’t in the starting lineup that was already set in stone when the season started. 

For a second when practice ended and they had played a practice game where she was put as a striker and on the opposite team as the captain, Huh Yunjin, she thought that the girl would be a rival; a competition to beat and replace on the field. 

The view was also changed quickly; Chaewon saw no need to strive for her old spot as a captain, however, she did find the need to be in the starting lineup and hoped it would come to her soon even if it wouldn’t be as a main striker.

Yunjin became someone she saw as a person who she could get the most out of when they played together as days passed through the week and they played alongside each other. Outside the field, they were becoming good friends and she could say it about the rest too. 

Days passed quicker than she had expected after dreading moving to a new place. 

So before she knew it; it was Saturday and Chaewon found herself at a convention centre for a local yet huge cheerleading tournament. She had never been to one, so naturally, she wanted to stick to the group of people she came with; Yunjin, Jimin and Yujin.

They had arrived an hour before it was the team's turn because the competition lasted a whole eight hours and there were still three hours left after the good four-minute performance that was in 30 minutes. Chaewon knew very little about everything, but the other three girls filled her right in, especially Yunjin who had a hard time being quiet about it. 

“I still need to give Y/n her bow, Chaewon and I can go while you two get to the seats.” Chaewon didn’t get a word in as they were walking through the crowded centre, her arm sleeve was grabbed and she was pulled aside by Yunjin. 

“Could you hold it for a second?” She hummed, taking the bow from Yunjin who started to look for her phone. Chaewon looked over the dark blue and white bow with gemstones, glancing between the captain and the way before her to not walk into anyone. 

“Where are you and Y/n?” 

Yunjin stopped in her tracks as she tried to hear what Kazuha was saying over the noise in the background as Y/n wasn’t answering her phone. 

“I kind of lost Y/n somewhere and she doesn’t have her phone.” 

“What? Where are you then?”

“I just got to the main entrance.” Yunjin groaned and turned on her heels as she started to walk her way back to the main entrance. “How do you lose her?”

“I’m not the one who lost her, Y/n always gets distracted and loses us, plus I can’t see her in this crowd, she’s too short.” Yunjin snorted at that, she knew her best friend like the back of her palm and how she could see something and walk off from everyone else without a word. The 5’3 flyer was good at getting lost. 

“I can see you–your hair.” The ginger's eyes started to search as she was approaching the main entrance. 

Chaewon stopped in her tracks as the captain she had glanced at a good minute ago was no longer beside her. She kind of sensed that it couldn’t be too good; she had the cheer captain's bow. 

Her eyes searched through the crowd of people, but her height did no justice. The next best thing that came to mind was to stand still and hope that they would run into her while she tried to get her phone out of her pocket. 

Just as she fumbled out her phone, her head snapped up, “Chaewon!” A smile unknowingly tugged on her lips as she saw Y/n quickly running over to her. The girl in the cheer uniform made her stomach nervously flutter ever since she first talked to her and that usually was the case with pretty girls. However, that feeling passed after a few hours of talking, but that little flutter was slowly developing into a crush instead of disappearing and Chaewon was fully aware of it. 

She did feel guilty about it though; Yunjin and Y/n were in a relationship or dating, one of those. The girl didn’t know which, but either way she didn’t want to get in the way. Well, she hadn’t asked, but she was quite sure because everyone was close in the friend group, but the two seemed to be more than just friends. From Chaewon’s point of view at least. 

“I lost Zuha, I don’t have my phone and Jen has my bow–” The girl went on talking as she grabbed hold of Chaewon’s hand and pulled her to the side, away from the walking crowd. She bit on her lower lip to get rid of the smile she became painfully aware of. “Where’s Jen?” 

“Uhm–I lost her, but I have the bow.” 

Y/n turned around and Chaewon showed her the bow in her hand, making the distress on Y/n’s face wash away, being replaced by a smile. This time the smile was directed solely towards Chaewon and it made her chest fill up like an air balloon with how much warmth spread through her, all running up to her cheeks. 

“You’re my saviour today–” The girl was about to reach for it but stopped, “could you help me put it on, I don’t have a mirror and will mess it up.” 

Chaewon wanted to argue that the girl could do it once she was back with her team or have Kazuha or Yunjin help her simply because her hands were trembling and she was scared she would mess it up. The last thing she wanted was to get even more awkward even if it was only coming from her side. 

However, she knew that she didn’t have the heart to deny the girl nor did Y/n have the time to wait around as the performance started soon.

The girl hummed with a nod and sucked on her lower lip as Y/n stepped closer to her, tilting her head down. Chaewon was probably an inch and a half taller, managing to reach just fine.

“You know how to do it, right?” The question made her look down at Y/n as she reached for the already-done ponytail. This was probably the closest she had been to the girl and it was making her even more nervous, especially when Y/n looked up at her through her lashes. 

She gave a short hum and nod of affirmation–again–the girl in front of her let out a breathless chuckle. Chaewon did her best to keep her attention on Y/n’s hair as she pulled the ponytail through the tie, making sure the bow stayed in place the whole time.

“How are you feeling about the game on Friday?” 

She glanced away from the hair for a second, seeing that Y/n was looking up at her the whole time, it was making her feel warm. 

“Shouldn’t I ask how you are feeling about the performance you have coming up?” Chaewon asked back.

Her first game on the team was next week despite not being on the starting lineup or getting to play much she was still more and more jittery the closer the game was.

Y/n subtly shook her head. “I don’t like talking about them right before, makes me too nervous…I like to pretend that I’m here to be part of the audience until we are on the stage.”

“Okay–” She acknowledged, licking her lower lip as she concentrated with her eyes back on the ponytail. “I’ve always been comfortable on the field, but I’ve played on the same team for years so I’m kind of scared even if I might not play much.” The girl couldn’t help but admit, trusting Y/n to carry these words with tenderness as she didn’t have anyone to open up to anymore. Chaewon felt alienated no matter how welcomed she had been, she had yet to get close enough to anyone to open up but Y/n made it easy.

There was a pull towards her and her aura; one that made words slip past lips much easier.

“Do you think that’s because you still have to get more comfortable with your teammates or with the fact that you’re playing on your home field even though it doesn’t feel like home?” 

The words made Chaewon stop for a second and look Y/n in the eye again as she hadn’t been able to tell what it was that made her feel scared when the field had always been her home; her comfort. Y/n just made it clear for her; the exact problem was that it had always been a home when she played in her old jersey, with her old team and this had yet to start feeling like a home. 

“I think that’s it, everything feels foreign even though I’ve gotten accustomed to how you guys play, it feels like something is off.” 

Y/n hummed at that.

“I think that once you get on the field during an actual game, adrenaline will make you feel right at home like this is right where you belong…it will happen so quick you will only realise it after.”

She pulled away from the cheerleader, the sweet scent fainter as her senses were being filled by the dull air of the centre again. The words made her think about it, trying to figure out if that would be the case, it sounded too simple. 

“You think so?” Chaewon asked, her hands fiddling with the loose material of her jeans as she watched Y/n who made sure the bow was secure. 

“Yeah, your home is where the ball is no matter who you play for.” 

It suddenly made sense to Chaewon who smiled as Y/n had managed to change her perception of things and it made the tension wash away. If anything, Chaewon was now looking forward to the game to finally be able to find her home again by playing where the ball was. 

“Thank you for that, I needed someone to talk to about it—I like talking to you.” She felt herself blush at her own words, unable to recall when she was so easily flustered by someone, let alone by the words that left her lips. Her hands clutched onto the material of her jeans as Y/n smiled even bigger at her. 

“Well, I don’t mind helping and you have my number if you want to talk.” 

Chaewon didn’t get to get another word in though as her heart started to sling around in her chest and they were joined by the other two. The girl remembered that she maybe should try to avert her eyes away from Y/n when the girl was engulfed in a hug by Yunjin.

“Where were you?” The shorter girl complained and Yunjin pulled away from their brief hug, a frown graced her features for a split second at the bow in Y/n’s hair that she always helped her with. However, she dropped it because she knew that Y/n always relied on Yunjin’s presence before her performances—the ginger was Y/n’s cheerleader—and she didn’t have much time left now. 

It wasn’t talk though, just her presence alone and she had no clue why and neither did the cheerleader have an explanation when she asked aside from it being her Jen.

“I was looking for you–” She wanted to continue but couldn’t let go of the thought that she hadn’t helped Y/n with her bow. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was part of a habit, it was like a ritual before every competition that they had done since they were kids. “When did you put this on?” Yunjin curiously asked, her fingers doing a minor change to the bow and Y/n looked up through her lashes at her hand.

“Chaewon helped me because we’re short on time–” They truly were short on time when Kazuha linked her arm with Y/n and pulled her away from Yunjin.

“We have to go, Yeonjun texted that the coach needs us all together,” Kazuha informed them as they were already walking away.

Yunjin only waved, knowing that Y/n didn’t like it when someone wished her luck or talked about the performance beforehand. 

“Sorry for losing you like that.” She apologised to the girl beside her as she had only realised that Chaewon wasn’t with her once she reached Kazuha. 

“It’s fine, it wasn’t for too long.” Yunjin chuckled at that with a nod before they made their way to Jimin and Yujin.

Chaewon found herself in an even bigger crowd once they had made it to the other two and not long after she got to see the cheer performance of her life. Of course, the school’s team did great, but even the cheerleaders at her old school didn’t cheer as well as Yunjin did beside her while they watched them perform. 

She was sure she hadn’t seen two more lovesick people when they won and she watched Y/n run right into Yunjin’s arms. Chaewon watched from the sidelines as Y/n clung onto Yunjin who practically carried the girl. She congratulated the other two people she was close to from the cheer team, Yeonjun and Kazuha. 

What caught her attention were Yeonjun’s words. 

“I’ve never seen two more annoying best friends, the love makes me want to throw up.” 

It made her frown and look at them in confusion, but Yeonjun was already talking to someone else and Y/n had walked over to her.

Best friends? Love? It could mean so many things, couldn’t it?

Had Chaewon read too much into their relationship? However, two best friends could be in a relationship, couldn’t they? The longer she observed them the more confused she grew as the signals weren’t mixed, but clear, however; clear with what intentions? Were they together? 

Chaewon was too shy to forwardly ask, especially if she was right and they were a couple. She didn’t need Yunjin to assume that she had a crush on Y/n–she did, but that was her secret–it would be awkward and she didn’t need to lose friends she just made. 

Loud.

Loud was one of the only words that could fill her head as she nervously fiddled with the polyester of her white shorts. She was benched, but that didn’t mean that her nerves weren’t spiked as she watched the team play. The crowd on the bleachers was loud and the only few times her eyes drifted away from the ball was when the cheer team would motivate the team and make the crowd even louder.

One cheerleader still stuck out to her. God, Y/n stuck out like a sore thumb in Chaewon’s eyes after knowing her for two weeks and she was stuck in a dilemma. Was she supposed to forget about her crush or keep crushing in secret even if Y/n wore Yunjin’s varsity jacket with the number 8 and the girl’s last name? It wasn’t like her crush was hurting anyone as long as she kept it to herself, and if it did, the only person it would hurt was Chaewon.

It made her space out once again, her eyes losing the ball and getting stuck on the setting sun in the distance as the crowd's noise disappeared. 

It wasn’t right, she was sure that if Y/n and Yunjin weren’t in a relationship, they at least had to be dating while slowly pursuing something with how close they were.

However, Y/n made her feel so at home in a foreign place that she sometimes doubted her assumptions because of how close she was to the girl. The cheer captain was hard to crack with how affectionate and caring she was.

Y/n was caring, kind, observant to the people around her, intelligent, athletic, pretty, and bright—Chaewon realised that she was starting to list things about Y/n in her head once again and it made her feel guilty once she remembered how Yunjin and Y/n looked at each other.

Ideally, she would want to date the girl and slowly pursue something more than friends while they were still getting to know each other so it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if she confessed as a friend. It seemed perfect since they had just met. Or maybe she could set a standard to find someone like the girl?

It did not matter how many times she tried not to, Chaewon kept spacing out with the same difficult thoughts.

She cursed Y/n for bringing her such comfort yet she was more than thankful. 

Would it be wrong to test the waters because as far as Chaewon knew some people still went out with others during the early stages of dating? Just to show her gratitude.

But Yunjin; Chaewon found a great friend in the captain.

She had yet to get the clear meaning behind the words Yeonjun said a week ago.

Chaewon jumped, flinching at the cold hand that brushed over her arm.

“Oh–I’m sorry?” Her eyes widened as she looked to her side at Y/n who let out a small laugh at the reaction. That momentary coldness she felt disappeared as heat ran over her whole body, certainly leaving her ears redder than they already were.

“It’s fine, I didn’t notice you.” Chaewon breathed out, rubbing her clammy palms against the fabric of her shorts. She looked around to see that the cheerleaders had spread out, seemingly taking a break for a few minutes. Her gaze went back to Y/n and her stomach flipped when she remembered the thoughts that she just had.

She scooted a bit closer to her teammate to make some more space for the cheerleader on the bench. Amidst the fresh scent of the green grass that had been watered, the scent she had grown familiar with danced its way around her as Y/n sat down beside her. Chaewon froze, glancing down as their knees touched and she tried her best to pay attention to what Y/n was saying.

“I noticed you spacing out and thought that it could have been because of what we talked about.” 

Y/n truly was observant and it was admirable, but now Chaewon had to lie because she couldn’t tell the girl that she was daydreaming about her. 

“Oh–well…kind of, there’s just a lot on my mind lately.” 

“Do you want to talk about it or get your mind off of it? Maybe the latter considering the circumstances.” 

She chuckled at the girl's words and nodded her head because the last thing she needed was to get her head occupied with more stuff in case she would be called to sub in.

“What are your plans for the weekend?” 

“I don’t have any yet, well–” Chaewon stopped for a second to contemplate whether or not she should ask if Y/n wanted to hang out. However, did Chaewon want it to be a normal hangout? Not really unless Y/n wasn’t truly single. “Probably practise some on my own.”

Chaewon decided to wait until she knew what exactly Y/n and Yunjin were.

“You’re like Yunjin, you two could probably head together.” 

Chaewon looked down at her cleats as she grabbed hold of the bench, almost jolting at how she brushed her hand over Y/n’s for a second. She seemed to be the only one to notice as the cheerleader was looking over the field. 

“You two are close.” The girl pointed out the obvious and tilted her head to the side to look at Y/n. She watched how the smile grew slightly bigger at the mention and she understood that even if she wanted to she didn’t stand a chance if just the mention of Yunjin made Y/n smile that big.

“We’ve been there for each other for so long, Jen means the world to me—she’s my person and always will be.” 

Yet Chaewon couldn’t help but admire it, wishing to have something similar with someone. Y/n looked at her and giggled, Chaewon catching the small tint of pink that shaded the girl's cheeks, but the same happened with hers as she had been staring at the girl once again. 

She was worried it would become obvious soon enough. 

Yunjin took a deep breath as she had been in her headspace the whole time, fully indulged in the field and game. She could feel the sweat dripping down her forehead, whatever loose hair strands that fell from her ponytail were sticking to her skin. 

The score was still 0 - 0 and she knew that they weren’t aiming for a draw or a simply good game. That was not what the coach wanted, their coach was harsh at times, but it always came with the best results.

Yunjin would always beat herself up though, but it was her dream and dreams meant sacrificing even a piece of herself. 

If they lost or had a draw then they didn’t do their best. 

That was why she could only spare the person she had been dreaming about for the past three years a second long glance as she was waiting for a throw-in from one of their defenders. 

That godforsaken feeling of longing, love and fear still slipped through her strongly made facade that she put up on the field when she saw Y/n laughing with Chaewon. Y/n made all her walls crumble so easily.

It made her exhale deeply to try and wash away that tinge of jealousy she felt. At the back of her head, she knew that this skinny love maybe wouldn’t last or maybe wasn’t even real and that any could sweep away her biggest dream. 

Y/n was becoming closer to Chaewon, not as close as she was with Yunjin, but it gave her zero reassurance. Yunjin couldn’t tell if she was close as in best friends or close as in love with Y/n anymore, she hated thinking about being the only one. Yet she couldn’t find out as she bit her tongue and focused back on the game when the ball got thrown to one of the midfielders. 

Chaewon’s conversation with Y/n was interrupted as the crowd started to cheer louder, the two joining in anticipation as they watched the midfielders create a perfect opportunity for the forwards when the ball got passed to Yujin. The captain was open as she was quicker on her legs than the defender who was tailing her. 

It was a perfect opportunity to finally set a score of 1 - 0 in the last 15 minutes of the game when Yujin lobbed the ball over to Yunjin. 

All that loud cheering turned into furious' ‘boos’’ and shouts of disapproval and dissatisfaction at the late tackle that ended with Yujin on the ground and the whistle being blown amidst the wail of pain.

Chaewon widened her eyes with her heart racing, unsure if it was because of what just happened to Yujin who was aided right away or the coach telling her to quickly warm up to get on the field. 

It wasn’t long until Yujin was being assisted off of the field to get taken to the hospital, giving Chaewon a thumbs up despite the tears in her eyes.

She felt jittery once again, the loud cheers that were erupted by the cheer team going right back to bring up the spirit of everyone. It put so much more on her than she already felt as she got on the field with her heart jumping without a stop against her ribcage like a bouncy ball. 

Yunjin was worried, to say the least, she hadn’t played long with Chaewon but she’d seen the girl's skills and she was good. However, she had no clue how well she worked under pressure, especially in important games. She wasn’t doubting Chaewon, the girl used to be a starting striker and captain just like Yunjin.

The worries of both girls’ disappeared right after the whistle blew and the game was back in play after the free kick. Something sparked within the both of them, seemingly sending the spark to each other as chemistry kindled between the two. 

Yunjin always excelled, going beyond what was the limit and she took notice of the fire in Chaewon who pushed beyond a different limit, one she wasn’t sure she could push. Any other day she would see it as a threat–especially as the captain and with Chaewon’s old position and title–but she couldn’t, not when they were attacking the goal once again, creating a perfect opening with a few minutes left. 

If they missed this opportunity they would have to try and push for a goal during overtime instead of wasting it to keep their winning score.

So the ball got lobbed over to Yunjin who ran into the penalty area the second the ball crossed the line. It wasn’t a hard decision, it never would be because she would never be selfish on the field. She had the opportunity to score a goal; Yunjin half-volleyed it over to Chaewon who had a better opportunity to score.

Y/n had been right all along and Chaewon hadn’t smiled as big as she did now ever since she landed at JFK airport when she scored. Her body was engulfed in the thrashing hugs of her teammates. Maybe she could find a home here after all as the adrenaline made her feel like she was floating in her zone of comfort again. 

The bitter taste in her mouth was no longer present, replaced by the sweet sound of the whistleblowing not long after; winning 1 - 0.

“Huh and Kim.” The two girls didn’t get to join the celebration of their teammates for longer than a few minutes before being called by their coach. 

Their chests were still heaving with exhaustion and the coursing adrenaline in their veins as they glanced at each other in confusion. The people around them celebrated, the people dissipating from the bleachers to congratulate the team and head home, the clock striking 9 P.M.

“Great play from the both of you, especially at the end—I just finished talking to Yujin’s dad and as it’s looking right now she won’t be playing.” The two nodded, feeling relief at the praise, but concerned at their teammate's state who was at the hospital. 

“What happened?” Yunjin asked, her forearm coming up and wiping away the sweat before it would trickle down to her eyes.

“It looks like a sprained ankle so she won’t be able to play for the rest of the season which brings us here—” Yunjin glanced over at Chaewon who was attentively listening to the woman in front of them. “Chaewon will be part of the starting lineup as a second striker for the rest of the season, the decision is made based on skill.” The ginger knew that their spare second striker wasn’t nearly as good as Yujin and that Chaewon was perhaps–definitely–better than Yujin herself.

The coach nodded, dismissing the two as she walked away.

“I hope we can work with a perfect dynamic both on and off the field, Chaewon,” Yunjin said, turning to look at the shorter girl. The new starter parted her lips before closing her mouth, hesitating about what to say which Yunjin had grown used to as Chaewon was still getting comfortable around them. 

She smiled at the girl and stretched out her hand and Chaewon accepted it with a smile. “I will do my best—” They gently squeezed before letting go and Chaewon grew the courage to compliment her captain. “It was a great assist on your part, thank you for the opportunity.” 

“Always, we’re a team and I will always prioritise our whole team over my desire to score goals.” The two laughed at Yunjin’s words as they headed over to the huddle of cheerleaders, teammates, and other students while talking with each other. 

The thoughts of competing with each other disappeared as they worked better together than against each other.  

“You two did so well, that pass and goal were–” The rest of the cheer captain's words were muffled as her face ended up in Yunjin’s jersey who grabbed hold of her best friend when she jumped into her arms. It warmed Yunjin as she smiled, squeezing Y/n in her arms.

“Thank you, pretty girl, but your cheering kept us going,” Yunjin replied and Y/n pulled away with a grin.

“What about us?” Yeonjun questioned and Jimin was right behind him, holding the camera—pictures for the senior yearbook—Kazuha jogging over to the rest.

“I guess you guys did okay.” She said with a shrug, receiving dirty looks from the two cheer members. The warmth from her arms disappeared and her eyes trailed over to Y/n to see the girl grab hold of Chaewon’s hand and pull her over to them.

“Do we leave for the beach?” Jimin questioned.

Chaewon’s head perked up, looking away from the hand that was clasping onto hers but Y/n let go once they reached the group. 

The rest agreed and Y/n turned to her with a smile. “We usually head to the beach after with a few more people to celebrate, you included. Do you need a ride?”

It wasn’t long before she was sitting on the beach after being squeezed into one of the few cars as there were probably a dozen other students. The sun was just about to disappear fully, the weather was more chilly by the beach, the girl in a pair of loose jeans, a hoodie and her varsity jacket with the number 52 on it and her last name.

She had been sitting and talking with mostly Jimin who was sitting beside her on one of the blankets, Yeonjun joining in as he sat across from them on a beach chair he looked two times too tall for. Kazuha had dozed off on Jimin’s shoulder just an hour after they arrived. A small campfire–one of the two where another group was sitting occasionally butting into their conversations–kept them warmer while keeping the atmosphere. 

The shore where the waves gently brushed was also filled with laughter and shouts as a soccer ball was passed around as they played rondo. Part of that circle was Yunjin and in the middle with a guy was Y/n, running around and trying to get possession of the ball. 

Chaewon hadn’t had the chance to talk much more to Y/n after they drove off.

She was a wallflower; Y/n was a social butterfly. 

She’d argue that they were two worlds apart, but she was proven wrong as butterflies were always drawn to flowers. Y/n had approached her the first day and had continued to do so—

“Are Y/n and Yunjin together?” It barely made it past the ocean breeze, gentle waves, laughter and crackling fire as she mumbled the words into the air, they almost managed to get blown away by it. Her fingers fiddled with the soda in her hands, nervous to say the least as her heart pounded at the question she asked.

—but as much as butterflies were drawn to flowers, they also danced among each other the way Y/n and Yunjin did.

She glanced at Jimin who hummed, the girl looking at her and what she got in return was a breathless chuckle. 

“Does it look like it?” Chaewon shrugged at the question, watching as Yunjin ran away from the circle after tunnelling the ball between Y/n’s legs, the cheerleader chasing right after her. 

Their relationship was contagious and it made Chaewon smile, wondering if there was someone like that out there for her. Yunjin was more than lucky, she envied it but not in a bad way, she only wished to find happiness in a new place. She kind of had, but people always wanted more than they had, didn’t they?

“They look like the type that went from best friends to lovers.” She admitted. 

Their dynamic reminded her of two best friends while also having that extra step that made her believe that they were more. Those affectionate gestures, the way they looked at each other and held each other, those glances and touches she had taken notice of.

Chaewon rested her elbows on her knees, the soda can in hand as she spun the tab around with her finger. Her eyes left the two girls as Y/n tackled Yunjin onto the sand, their laughter being almost obnoxiously loud. They landed on Jimin who had been looking at the two and now looked at Chaewon with a slightly confused frown that disappeared as she shook her head with a smile.

“They are the first but not the second.” 

Chaewon frowned. “So they aren’t dating either?” She asked, wondering if they were in the stages of trying to pursue something. That guilt she felt for crushing on someone her new friend was with slowly started to disappear when the girl beside her shook her head.

“Nope, they’ve been best friends since middle school—” She watched as Jimin looked over at the two girls before looking back at her. “You’re crushing on one of them, aren’t you?” She teasingly asked and Chaewon took in a deep breath and held it, a blush dancing its way onto her cheeks and ears. 

Her knee got nudged by Jimin’s and she exhaled the breath that she was holding. “Y/n kind of caught my attention I guess.” She shyly mumbled, letting her hair fall and cover more of her face as she stared down at the blanket under her. 

“I’m vouching for you and if you need some good vouching, there’s no one better than Yunjin.” It made sense because who would be better than Y/n’s best friend? She could maybe look for some moral support and help. Chaewon knew that if the two were best friends she would need as much of Yunjin’s trust as she needed Y/n’s. 

“Ugh, there’s like a whole sandbox in my shoes.” Y/n groaned.

“I guess that’s what happens when you go to the beach and start tackling people,” Yunjin replied, looking at the girl who was sitting beside her on the sand after tackling her. 

Y/n gasped and tilted her head, “does it, Jen?” She mocked and Yunjin chuckled as the girl gave her a light shove as she slipped her shoe back on after emptying it of sand.

The wind blew colder and she watched the way Y/n’s hair blew out of her face, the girl still brushing away some strays that got in the way. Yunjin felt herself hold back a shiver, knowing that the smaller girl was cold as she only had a long sleeve and no jacket. It made her manoeuvre around, the girl giving her a confused hum as she looked back at Yunjin.

“Why are you always so underdressed?” She genuinely asked as she couldn’t remember a single time the girl had dressed according to the weather. It earned her a small chuckle as she settled behind Y/n who leaned back into Yunjin, having the girl sit between her legs. The striker adjusted her varsity jacket and covered Y/n with it too before hugging around her shoulders to keep her warm and to simply be close to the cheerleader. 

Yunjin no longer paid attention to the way her heart constricted before exploding as she had grown used to it after all these years. Especially after coming to terms at the beginning of high school that she was in love with Y/n. A small smile rested on her lips as she propped her chin up on top of Y/n’s head, cupping the cold hands that had started to fiddle with her fingers. 

After a minute of silence, she got her reply. 

“‘Cause it always ends with you hugging me or letting me borrow your clothes. I like that.”

Yunjin was so in love that it hurt and it hurt more each time she bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying it out loud to her best friend. It made her heart twist and pump extra hard, sending warmth throughout her whole body; each time it happened she felt at home. 

That warmth she felt with Y/n was the warmth of a home. 

She wanted to believe that neither said anything to make sure that it stayed this way forever. Yunjin wanted to be stuck in this moment forever even if she wasn’t in a relationship with Y/n at this moment. She could be stuck in a moment like this forever simply because it was just them and she never would have to worry that someone or something could ruin it. It was like a safe space where she knew that she had Y/n and would be the only one to hold her.

Yunjin was also aware that time didn’t stop, not even for love.

“I can do that without you possibly getting sick.” She mumbled. The girl in her arms hummed as their fingers tangled with each other. Yunjin stared ahead at the ocean before them, hoping to find them on the horizon; that somehow her dreams would happen. 

She lifted her head as Y/n turned the slightest in her hold and their eyes met. A smile on her best friend's lips whose hand found its way to the necklace she was wearing, toying with the pendant all while bringing Yunjin closer. It was these moments when Y/n pulled her even closer, where she looked Yunjin in the eye in a serene silence that brought them to Eden. It was these moments that made the girl believe that Y/n was in love when she just silently looked her in the eye.

Yunjin dreamed of getting rid of her bad habits where her mouth was glued shut, where she bit her tongue as it got tied when she was around the girl no matter how much those three words bubbled in her stomach. She dreamed of it being Y/n’s lips that glued her mouth shut by pressing against hers, that it was the girl biting her tongue, tying it with hers, but how did she tell that to Y/n? 

She always wondered what it was that Y/n saw and looked for in these moments with the way she waited. Was she waiting for Yunjin? Or did the soccer captain look too much into it? Was she looking at just a best friend or someone she wanted more with just like the striker did? 

Doubts, fears, worries, and insecurities all made her mouth get stitched together.

The ginger watched as Y/n’s gaze dropped, falling to the pendant of the necklace around her neck. Yunjin’s life would be mundane without Y/n in it, the girl who drove her insane in so many ways and there was no one else she could see herself as in love with.

“I’m lucky to have you.” Was what finally left the girl’s lip with a tired giggle after.

“I think I’m luckier,” Yunjin replied as the girl dropped her head, resting it under Yunjin’s chin who hugged her closer around her shoulders to shield Y/n from the wind. 

“Yeah, you are.” She chuckled at the words, smiling as she knew how lucky she was to have Y/n as her best friend. Yunjin knew that she was one of the luckiest people on earth by getting to feel Y/n’s love no matter in what form it came and with what intentions. She also knew how lucky she was to have the chance to fall in love with her best friend, to love her even if it was in silence. 

The sun was out and warming up the day, the grass on the field was not as green as the grass on the school’s field. It held a yellowish hue to it at certain spots on the enclosed soccer field. There was a gentle breeze of cold and Yunjin kicked the ball, the sound of it hitting the crossbar echoed through the air and she huffed a breath of exhaustion. 

“You’re a surprisingly good playmaker for a centre forward.”

“I used to be a second striker,” Yunjin replied as the ball smoothly glided between her feet and she walked over to where Chaewon was sitting on the grass with her water bottle. “Then our main striker quit and I became captain and main striker because of skill plus my height.” She proceeded to explain.

Yunjin put her hands into the pockets of the trainer she had on to not get too cold in just shorts. She carefully juggled the ball as she stood a few feet away from Chaewon. It was slightly after 1 PM and they had been doing 101 drills after Y/n suggested to ask Chaewon.

Aside from that, Yunjin wanted to get closer to the new girl, so the best option was to ask Chaewon to hang out.

Chaewon was starting to become a close friend like she was with her other friends. There wasn’t anything to complain about, especially with how much they had in common and would play alongside each other for a whole season. 

“Coach was sceptical of putting me as the main striker, thought I was better suited for second–” Chaewon started. “Mostly because of my height.” 

Yunjin looked over at the girl who smiled up at her, chuckling as she nodded her head at the words. “I think we can make the most out of the current lineup.” 

Chaewon hummed at that as she put her water bottle down, slightly tugging onto the sleeves of the compression shirt she had under her jersey. It was a surprise when she got a text from Yunjin in the morning, asking if she wanted to practise some drills. 

That feeling of possibly being alienated had started to fully dissipate.

She busied her fingers by pulling onto the strands of grass, the soft thuds of Yunjin juggling the ball filled her ears and she found herself thinking about the same thing once again. It felt like a good idea to tell Y/n’s best friend that she was starting to like the girl.

That thought had passed her mind a few times since last night, especially when she knew that she would spend time with Yunjin alone today. 

It could make things easier, especially since Chaewon knew that she was good at holding back because she was shy. She feared she would bite her tongue hard and long enough that by the time she would let go, it would be too late. The last thing she wanted was to regret something because her tongue was tied, but it was hard to simply untie knots of shyness that had been with her since she was little. 

She wished she could be more like some people around her and stop biting her tongue; Yunjin felt like a good example from her point of view. The girl always had Y/n’s attention and didn’t shy away.

A deep breath slipped past her lips and she looked up from the grass and at the girl in front of her. There was a mix of anxiety and fear swirling in her stomach, but she forced some courage into it, trying to think of how she only would live once and this was her senior year.

It was truly difficult and it got only harder the more she started to think about it; the more she would overthink, the more reasons came up not to do it. Dating within a friend group? What if Y/n didn’t find her interesting enough? What if she simply wouldn’t be good enough? That paired with the fact that Y/n’s standard was probably impossibly high seeing how her dynamic worked with her best friend. Was Y/n even into girls? 

It all made her want to curl up and hide as the dark gloom of anxiety covered the sky and cast a shadow over her. 

Why was liking someone so hard and scary?

She was supposed to drop the pessimism though.

Chaewon couldn’t let up pursuing something with someone whom she grew attracted to in the blink of an eye. What if this was meant to be and she would waste it because she was scared and shy? That seemed to be the dealbreaker.

“Would you vouch for me if I liked someone you know and are close with?”

“Yeah of course, why wouldn’t I?” Yunjin replied right away after the momentary silence that had fallen between them. It was a bit surprising to hear the girl be this straightforward, especially after seeing Chaewon hold back and shy away often. It let Yunjin know that she was comfortable with her. 

Yunjin obviously would vouch for her new friend and she couldn’t deny it because Chaewon was truly a great person and friend even if they had known each other for only two weeks. 

She got a hum from the girl, her eyes darting between the ball that she was juggling and Chaewon on the grass. Yunjin was about to ask who it was; her mind swirled with the people Chaewon had gotten close with and she was about to utter the words ‘Is it Jimin or Zuha?’ Maybe even Yeonjun no matter how insufferable he could be at times. However, Chaewon was much quicker and Yunjin’s world possibly crumbled into pieces even quicker.

“Okay, ‘cause it’s Y/n.”

The ball dropped, Yunjin felt her heart fall right with it and she couldn’t force a breath out for what felt like hours but was a few seconds. Unable to breathe for the few seconds that it took for her to register the fact that everything would change. 

What had yet to come was the acceptance of how everything would change.

How did she come to terms with losing someone she loved and being nothing more than best friends forever? How did she accept the fact that she would possibly never get to know or get to tell?

Once she was able to get a shaky breath out she realised that they were growing quicker than usual. Something was wrong, something definitely was wrong as a fire that destroyed everything in its way started in her make-believe world where it was her and Y/n forever whether they uttered it out loud or not. 

She was so set on her make-believe world that Chaewon liking the girl she loved didn’t cross her mind because in her head it was Y/n and Yunjin even if it wasn’t written for everyone to see. 

“What?” Yunjin’s voice was laced with confusion, that confusion wasn’t directed at Chaewon liking Y/n. That confusion was directed towards her dreams, that stupid horizon where their dream started. Had Yunjin been stupid enough to think that the horizon was reachable? 

That confusion was the uncertainty of what was next. What came next if Yunjin was in love, but too scared to confess because she didn’t want to lose a best friend, but neither did she want to lose a possible lover to someone else? Lose her by not telling her the truth before someone else gets the chance before Chaewon could unknowingly steal Yunjin’s dream.

“Huh?” Chaewon squinted her eyes as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds that were starting to clear from the sky. Her hand came up to her face to shield her eyes as she looked at Yunjin.

“Huh?” Was all that Yunjin could utter back, her hands jitterly pulling at her trainer as she started to feel uneasy at the fear growing in her.

“Y/n, I like her.” She repeated, assuming that Yunjin didn’t hear what she had said at first. Chaewon repeated them firmly, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t crumbling on the inside because she was unsure of Yunjin’s reaction or if the captain would consider her enough for Y/n. 

“Oh.” That security disappeared from Yunjin’s life and was replaced by what she knew would be a constant fear of losing Y/n to someone else because of an even bigger fear. 

It made Yunjin crouch down before she sat down fully in front of Chaewon. Her eyes darted around, trying to find something to look at that could distract her from the forlornness and apprehension. 

“Yeah.”

“That’s…” There were no words for her to describe what she felt let alone words to say to Chaewon who just admitted to liking the girl she had been in love with since middle school. The girl she had accepted she was in love with at the start of high school. The girl she had wanted to confess to since then, but had always been too scared because of what a high-risk gamble it was.

“Honestly, I was hesitant until last night at the beach after I asked Jimin about it because I thought you two were together.” 

Her eyes briefly darted back to Chaewon who scratched at the back of her neck with a slight frown. Was Yunjin being obvious? If so, did Y/n notice it too? She didn’t want Chaewon to think that she as Y/n’s best friend didn’t find her good enough for the girl. At the same time, she didn’t want Chaewon to take the chance. 

She was stuck in a dilemma within a dilemma. The captain was starting to drown in despair, her tongue getting tied into a tighter knot than ever before as she so badly wanted to tell Chaewon that she loved Y/n. 

“We aren’t but…” Yunjin tried her best to push through, she was fighting for it, but it made her heartbeat worse than it was a second ago. The thought of losing a best friend felt just as scary as losing a possible lover. Her hands balled up the material of her shorts as she stared down at the grass, letting her hair fall and cover the frown on her face all while listening to Chaewon talk.

“I didn’t want to get in the way of anything and I was worried because–” Yunjin’s chest felt heavy and it only got heavier with all these suppressed feelings that grew like a garden. “Well, I wouldn’t stand a chance against you and it’s not like I ever wanted to see you as competition over a girl so I would get over my crush on Y/n if that was the case…I didn’t want to ruin our friendship either since I like where it’s heading.”

“Chaewon…” She didn’t manage to push anything out, there was a lump in Yunjin’s throat that wasn’t letting her speak. Those suppressed feelings she always refused to let out were blocking her airways. 

“It’s a relief, now I stand a chance, you know?”

“Chaewon, I–” She looked up at the girl who had a small smile on her face and Yunjin smiled back at her while feeling how her heart was being pierced by thorns. It felt like she was being mocked by her feelings, laughed at by her own heart for being so stupid. This was her chance to make sure that her new friend would get over her crush on Y/n. 

“I think you stood a chance right from the start.” 

However, Yunjin didn’t stand the slightest chance against her fears and so Chaewon didn’t have much to worry about from the start.

Now each day that Yunjin woke up was filled with such fear and dread that she didn’t want to wake up. Yunjin not only woke up afraid but went to bed even more scared, fearing that when she woke up she would do so to heart-shattering news.

The week went by with Yunjin feeling sick, her heart ached and she felt lost in the sea of choices that she had. There were so many that she could make yet it felt like she had no choices at all. Who was hurting her? It wasn’t Y/n. It wasn’t Chaewon. Yunjin was hurting herself.

Slowly she started to take notice of how over the week Chaewon had already started to make subtle moves despite her shy nature. Yunjin now saw how easily flustered the girl got and how giggly Y/n was with her too. With each time she took a deep breath, bit down on her lower lip, gazed at the girl she was in love with and reminded herself of how Y/n would forever be her best friend and that that’s something that should make her feel over the moon.

Yet all it did was make her happy and ache in pain because she would always have Y/n, but not in the way she wanted to have the girl. It was frustrating, especially because of the agony it caused her.

She knew that Y/n wasn’t spending less time with her because she wasn’t and Yunjin would never mind Y/n spending time with someone else. The problem was that Y/n was spending time with someone who liked her, someone Yunjin said she would vouch for yet every time Chaewon’s name left Y/n’s lips she couldn’t do more than hum because her voice had started to strain from the suppressed feelings. 

What used to be Yunjin walking Y/n to class started to feel like Yunjin dragging herself after Chaewon and her best friend. However, it felt like reassurance every time Y/n would tangle her fingers with Yunjin’s fingers while walking in the middle. Her eyes paying attention to the other girl who would talk before looking over at Yunjin with a smile that made her smile right back.

What type of reassurance was Y/n giving her? Was Y/n sensing that something was off? Yunjin didn’t want to be obvious, but she also wished she knew if that was reassurance of her not being replaced or reassurance of their skinny love going to last for years on end.

She was already reassured that she would never be replaced and she would never doubt that. What she did doubt was the fantasy she had lived in that she still hoped was true. Y/n loved her back.

Yet it lay heavily on her chest whenever she saw Y/n and Chaewon together. 

Her eyes kept glancing towards the open door of the classroom, not paying much mind to anyone else around her. It had been a month since Chaewon transferred, tomorrow would be two weeks since Yunjin’s stomach started turning and throat close up.

It was hard to move at times, scared she would do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing because of how she had been forcing everything to stay inside. That garden of feelings in her lungs was starting to get too big for her to hold in.

Yunjin was holding back the door that was ready to burst open with emotions while constantly sweeping more of them inside. 

The second she heard Y/n’s laugh, she felt a mix of relief and fear, knowing that her best friend was near but that she was probably with Chaewon. She and the girl had this class together, the class before was without Y/n who had physics with Chaewon. Yunjin knew that she would see Chaewon walk the girl to class, that was why Y/n wasn’t early like she usually would be so they could talk before class started. 

It was hard to hate Chaewon, Yunjin truly had no reason to hate the girl as she watched them outside the classroom. The new girl was perfect and if Yunjin hadn’t been in love with her best friend she would wish for nothing more than for Y/n to be with someone as good as Chaewon. 

Maybe she should wish for it right this moment because what if Yunjin wasn’t enough? How could she be when she didn’t dare to even express herself? She always prioritised Y/n’s happiness in the end. 

Chaewon was right there and Yunjin too, but even if she was, she knew that it was miles away with how those words couldn’t seem to reach Y/n. They never would as long as she screamed them on the inside. 

Y/n laughed, she smiled, her eyes sparkled, that little jump she did when excited, the way she paid attention, and held eye contact; it all hurt from how beautiful Yunjin found it. It hurt even more to think that if she did nothing about her love for Y/n; she wouldn’t be the only cause for those things to be ten times as bright. 

She wanted to make Y/n laugh the loudest, smile the biggest, and have her eyes glimmer like water in the sun from love. Yunjin wanted to be the biggest source of happiness as Y/n was hers.

The second she walked in Yunjin straightened her posture and felt that beating of excitement ignite in her heart like it always did. All those worries were suddenly gone as Y/n walked towards her and even if they were in a classroom that was starting to pile up with students; it was just them in Yunjin’s eyes.  

Yunjin wished she was more brave, but even the bravest people were scared of losing someone dear to them. 

It always made her warm the second Y/n was near her, listening attentively to what her best friend was talking about as she sat down beside her. Lately, Yunjin felt more nervous around Y/n, taking notice of how flustered she felt and the way her heart would beat after growing used to it only for it to plague her again. It was as if she was being mocked by her own body by being reminded of what Y/n made her feel and how she would possibly lose someone who made her feel so much to Chaewon because she was scared. 

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” She questioned the cheerleader, taking notice of how their knees were brushing against each other; how close they were sitting with her arm grazing Y/n’s now and then. 

It was all becoming a clear picture that she had grown so used to she never noticed its details anymore. 

Y/n smiled at her, Yunjin was expecting the usual answer since no one had planned anything. “You–” She raised her eyebrows as Y/n didn’t finish what she was about to say, realising a breath as she chuckled. “Chaewon just asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow.” 

Yunjin inhaled before exhaling just as deeply with a pout that disappeared quicker than it appeared. She wouldn’t care, she never did care if Y/n couldn’t hang out with her when she asked or the other way around because it was a given that they would get busy with other people and things at times. It was simply the fact that she wished that Chaewon had never told her about the crush she had grown on Y/n because Yunjin hated the fact that she knew what Chaewon’s intentions were.

It wouldn’t be painful if she hadn’t known; Yunjin would have seen it as nothing more than a friendly hangout and not Chaewon trying to get closer to the girl Yunjin was in love with. 

“That’s fine,” she reassured Y/n, her fingers toying with the sleeves of her varsity jacket. Yunjin didn’t mind, she was just scared of where one simple hangout would lead because she still needed some more time to think this through. No matter how scared she was, she needed to be sure that those fears were worth suffocating for.

“I’m sure you can tag along–” Yunjin knew that Y/n’s kindness made the girl oblivious yet she hoped that it was more than kindness and obliviousness towards her. She stopped her, knowing that Chaewon asked just Y/n for a reason. As much as it hurt, Yunjin was a good friend and would continue hurting instead of hurting someone else. 

“No, she probably has stuff planned for the two of you…It’s not like there’s no next week.” Somehow it still felt like one of these weeks would be the last ones until Y/n would be swept away from her, ridding Yunjin of any chances to confess if she chose to do so. 

Chaewon wasn’t the best at planning, especially if she had yet to get to know Y/n on a deeper level. She took her chances the second she cleared her confusion about Y/n and Yunjin being together. It took away the guilt of crushing on the girl and it made it easier to act out on her feelings. Her gut feeling told her to finally ask the girl out and she did, but she wasn’t brave enough to clarify that she would like to take her on a date.

It was a hangout.

She winged it after getting to know a bit more about Y/n, spending each free moment between them talking and showing interest. The perfect moments were the classes they had together, the few classes she could walk Y/n to and the times she bumped into the girl between periods.

Chaewon did her best to show interest, forcing herself to break down her wall of uncertainty and shyness–still struggling–hoping that she was enough to get Y/n’s attention back. It was more difficult than she would’ve thought as the girl seemed to fall between oblivious and knowing yet playing dumb. Chaewon couldn’t figure it out. Was Y/n getting the hints or was she oblivious to them?

Or maybe it was Chaewon’s fault as she hadn’t dared to be obvious enough either because of how frightening it was to be vulnerable about her feelings, especially as someone closed off and typically shy.

She worked with what she had.

And so she was walking with her hands in her pockets, too nervous to take them out as she kept fiddling with stuff while walking beside Y/n at the aquarium. The enthusiasm and just Y/n in general was making her smile, her little crush was growing gradually, being blown up like a balloon and she had to bite back to not smile too much at certain times. 

“Do you miss Austin a lot?” The girl suddenly asked as they reached the moon jellies.

Chaewon felt that stupid longing again and she wasn’t sure why it mattered so much if she was in her senior year and would be moving away to university after. Maybe because it was so sudden and unfair to just be dragged away from her home as it was the last year she would get to spend there. Now once she left for university, when she would visit home it would mean visiting this new home and not the one where she grew up.

Chaewon had left a part of her behind and now wanted to find a way to fill it and build a new part so it wouldn’t be as arduous. 

“I do miss it, all the friends I had there, memories, the place where I grew up—” She replied, glancing at Y/n who was crouched down to look closer at the jellyfish. It made Chaewon crouch down too beside the girl, the calmness of the moment, all the moments she had with Y/n filled that empty spot slowly. She assumed that it was because Y/n was the first one to make her feel welcomed and at home whether with words or actions.

It could have been anyone, but she was lucky enough to land on Y/n in the school.

“It will always be my home, Long Island is great but it will never be the place where I grew up.” So much for being a closed-off person, it felt like she was knocking over glasses filled with water when she was with Y/n from how much she so easily let spill from her mouth. She couldn’t seem to seek solace in anyone else. 

“It won’t be the same when you visit home now if you leave, will it?” Chaewon rested her arms over her knees and rested her cheek on top of them to keep her gaze on Y/n instead of the jellies. It made her smile at how understood she felt by the girl. It warmed her that the cheerleader did her best to understand even if she had lived in Long Island since she was born. 

Chaewon pursed her lips at the smile that grew, the heat that warmed her cheeks and the way her heart started to race. “It won’t unfortunately.” She mumbled, watching how the blue light illuminated Y/n’s beauty, letting her know that there was beauty everywhere in the world and not just where her home was. 

Y/n made her heart jump when she was caught looking at the girl, however, she couldn’t look away. The cheer captain didn’t seem to mind being more interesting than the exhibit was to Chaewon. 

“We will help you create enough memories during senior year so you have something to come back to and reminisce about.” That was where Chaewon hoped that all her new friends would come in and help, especially Y/n who she hoped she had a chance with. It would be memorable and something she would want to come back to if she was with someone who lived all their life in the state. 

“That would be great.” The cheer captain nodded at her words, looking back at the tank with the jellyfish. 

“Where are you going after the school year ends?” 

“I’m hoping to get scouted by UCLA, that’s where I want to apply either way.” Her words made Y/n look right back at her with a small smile. 

“Maybe some of us were destined to meet or we would be brought to each other by fate, depending on what you believe in.” 

“Why’s that?” Chaewon questioned, getting back up on her feet as Y/n stood up. 

“We’re applying for the same school, Yunjin is hoping for the same as you. So maybe if you hadn’t moved here, we would still meet if we got into the same university—” She walked beside the girl, their shoulders and fingers brushed against each other, making Chaewon grab onto the material of her hoodie. “You know the whole ‘brought to each other by fate’ or ‘destined to meet’,” She chuckled at Y/n’s words, assuming that the girl had no clue how much more they fueled Chaewon. 

What if it was meant to be? Chaewon had heard that love had its ways of bringing people who are made for each other together. Maybe that was why she grew attracted the second she saw Y/n. Was it the same for Y/n? What if Y/n would be the one she was going to fall in love with? Her heart started to beat tenfold, her silly little crush growing more serious with each second she thought about it. 

It would be best if she stopped indulging in superstitions before she hurt herself. 

“How are they coming out?” 

Chaewon chuckled as she looked at the latest picture, moving her phone away when the cheerleader tried to get a peek at her screen. “There’s no deleting any.” She established first as she found every picture of the girl overly perfect and memorable. Photogenic was yet another thing the girl was. 

Y/n was perfect; it could be Chaewon’s heart eyes, but there truly wasn’t anything to dislike about the girl. There was beauty on the outside which was the first thing Chaewon caught onto when looking at Y/n when she first stepped out onto the field on her first day and then she noticed the beauty on the inside when Y/n first spoke to her and made her feel at home.

“That means that they are bad,” Y/n complained, making her shake her head in disagreement.

“The opposite, I don’t think it’s possible to get a bad picture of you.” It made her laugh when Y/n at last managed to grab hold of her forearm and she let the girl overpower her, bringing down her hand with the phone. Her free hand went up to the girl’s head, petting along the plush penguin beanie the cheerleader had on her head that Chaewon bought for her on their way out of the aquarium. 

“You’re being bold today.” 

“It’s easier when you look this cute and less intimidating.” She mumbled before flicking the beak of the penguin and taking her phone away from Y/n. Chaewon looked down at her phone and the lock screen flashed open with a new wallpaper. A picture Y/n had taken when she was busy looking at the girl’s beanie, petting her head and Y/n pouting at the camera. 

“The cost of keeping those pictures is me and you as your lock screen–” She smiled at those words, something she found herself doing with just the thought of the girl who stood in front of her. “You look cute all engrossed by my beanie.” It made Chaewon look down at her feet and her shoulders slump inwards as she put her phone back into her pocket at those words. 

Y/n called her cute.

If only she knew that she was all engrossed by her and not the beanie.

She glanced over at the river they were walking alongside and she thought about it for a second. Just a second and not any longer because if she spent a second longer she would end up overthinking and backing out. 

“Y/n…”

“Yeah?” She heaved a sigh as she looked at the cheerleader in front of her. Hands started to nervously twist the material inside her pockets while looking at Y/n who had the sun gently casting its rays on her skin. Her eyes sparkled, dimples prominent as she kept a small smile on her lips while looking Chaewon in the eye–Chaewon trying her best to keep eye contact–waiting.

“Would you mind thinking of this as a date rather than a hangout?” Chaewon’s heart was beating in her ears and she felt like she would get a heatstroke from the waves of warmth that covered her face. 

If she hadn’t been gripping inside her pockets her fingers would be trembling with anxiety. This was the boldest and most straightforward she had possibly been and it was twisting her stomach. 

“I have to be honest…” That worry grew with those words coming from Y/n. Her eyes widened in fear of rejection and she was starting to regret that she even asked to begin with. Was this it? 

“I kind of figured those were the intentions when you insisted on paying and handling everything.”

Chaewon exhaled deeply, relaxing her body while her heart continued to pound because it had yet to calm down like the rest of her. Maybe she had been obvious enough without having to say it. She didn’t manage to utter a single word, still trying to collect herself from the fears she faced while watching Y/n grab hold of the flaps of the beanie while staring up at her. 

“What kind of date?” 

Chaewon had practised this answer because she didn’t want to move too fast or too slow. After all, there was no way she was the only one in the entire school who was interested in Y/n. 

She cleared her throat, getting rid of the trembling it would possibly do. 

“A no-pressure date where you don’t have to think about where it’s heading, but rather to get to know each other without having to think about whether you like me or not and just get close for the first few ones before you think about the rest to know for sure if you want anything more or not.”

She was sure that no matter how many times she practised it, she still ended up rambling because she felt out of breath at the end of her sentence. Her wide eyes laid on Y/n, expectant, hoping that what she had said made sense because it did in her head. It did earn her a small giggle which she hoped meant that she was doing something right. 

“Okay, but there’s one thing.”

“Of course.” She had never agreed as quickly before, feeling the giddiness grow within her while biting on her lower lip to stop herself from grinning. 

“Nothing gets awkward if you ask me to date you and I reject you for any reason. I also think it will be better if you don’t ask for reasons so it doesn’t ruin anything.”

“You sound set on rejecting me. You don’t have to agree out of pity.” Her hands came out of her pockets, pulling her sleeves down and squeezing them to get rid of the clamminess on her palms. She proceeded to scratch at her neck, her anxious habits kicking in right away as her hands were jittery. The possibility of it being out of pity hung in the air as she watched Y/n shake her head.

“I’m not, I just don’t want a possible friendship getting ruined if it doesn’t come to anything.” She could get behind that considering they were still getting to know each other and it could either evolve into a friendship or something more from this point. 

“Okay–” A calmness finally washed over her as they stood by the river, taking in a deep breath as she gazed over Y/n’s slightly flushed face before she looked at the hands that were clutching on the flaps of the beanie. 

“Can I hold your hand then?” The blushing was starting to get overwhelming for Chaewon, but she couldn’t help but push herself as she was beginning to get comfortable with it the more she did.

“Yeah, what else do you usually initiate on a first date, Chaewon?” Shivers danced along her hot body when Y/n let go of the flaps and slid her hand into Chaewon’s properly for the first time. Her brain ignored all her other worries she had about holding Y/n’s hand as they started to walk, only being able to think about the fact that she was holding her hand.

“Hand holding and hugs…Maybe a kiss on the cheek from you if you enjoyed it.” She mumbled the words into the air as she watched their hands.

“You’re so sly.” Chaewon wanted to squeal–she would once she got home–when Y/n stopped and placed a small peck on her already scorching cheek before she pulled her to continue walking along the lake while holding hands. 

Saturday was game day with Chaewon’s first game on the starting lineup and Yunjin wasn’t worried after all the drills they had been practising for the past two weeks. She had other things to worry about even if her priority should be the upcoming games aiming to become state champions to then take part in nationals. 

However, Y/n would always come first, especially if it felt like she was on the brink of losing something she didn’t yet have with her but wanted.

“How was yesterday?” Yunjin only managed to have a brief conversation with Y/n about her hangout with Chaewon as the girl was helping her stretch before the game. Honestly, after she got the answer, she didn’t want to talk more about it because her throat closed up with feelings she suppressed and her stomach twisted. 

“It was fun, we went to the aquarium, walked along the river, got some snacks and then she drove me home–” Yunjin settled for the answer and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the rest from Y/n but she still did. “She asked if I could think of it as a date instead of a hangout.” 

That heavy gloom had washed right over Yunjin, it felt like she was in the deepest parts of a blue sea where it was hard to breathe without it burning her lungs and making her tear up.

“Did you?” She carefully asked to make sure and to mask the quivering in her voice. 

“Yeah, it’s just to get to know each other first without thinking about what’s next.”

“Do you think there will be more?” Yunjin wasn’t sure why she asked because she knew that she would shed that gloom that coated her if Y/n answered with something she dreaded hearing. All she got was a moment of silence as Y/n looked up at her in thought, tilting her head as she shrugged. 

“If it happens it happens naturally and at its own pace so I can’t say much.” 

Was this Yunjin’s shot to still have her chance with Y/n?

It was never too late for love, was it?

Yet her mouth was stapled shut and the more dates she watched Chaewon take Y/n on the more frustrations stored themselves behind that locked door of emotions. It was hurting to hold it closed. All those frustrations were towards herself and she didn’t think she could have taken them out on someone else. 

They were getting the best of her.

“What is up with you, Huh Yunjin?” She could only stare down at her hands as she sat in her coach’s office after practice. 

Yes, they were on a 5 - 0 - 0 winning streak, but Yunjin knew that she was slacking and it was just like the coach said; “You are physically on the field, but where’s your head?” Her head was stuck on her best friend possibly falling for someone who wasn’t her, her head was stuck on thinking about losing someone she loved to Chaewon.

“I’m sorry coach, I will get myself together for the next game.” She apologised, ready to stand up and as she did she was stopped.

“If you don’t I won’t have a choice but to bench you and make Chaewon the captain.” 

Yunjin knew that it was all her fault. She should be able to put up that facade she had made when she was on the field to not let her emotions get the best of her when playing. 

It was impossible to put away the mess of emotions inside her though and even hanging out with Y/n wasn’t making them go away. All she could think about was how her world was starting to crumble. 

Would Chaewon unintentionally take everything away from her simply because she couldn’t keep her composure and untie her tongue?

That seemed to be the last straw and the door burst open at the worst moment possible.

The second half was almost halfway done, 0 - 0 and she could feel the pressure of her complicated emotions and the coach’s words together with an expectant crowd. Was she just about to lose again? That anger she had towards herself for not being able to do what she needed was starting to seep through and make her take it out the wrong way. 

Yunjin found it unfair; she had been playing for ages for the school’s team and was being threatened with being replaced by Chaewon. It felt even more unfair that someone she had known for years and loved for almost just as many would be Chaewon’s. The situation she was in was against her and it wasn’t fair considering the amount of love she had for Y/n.

The ball was passed to Chaewon as they were attacking the goal, at least the intention from the midfielder was to pass it to Chaewon who would forward the ball to the captain for an assist. That was until Yunjin’s overwhelming emotions got the best of her and she stole the ball right before it touched the second striker’s foot. It caused her shoulder to bump into Chaewon’s. It was harsh enough to have Chaewon almost stumble to the grass, barely catching herself with the tips of her fingers while continuing towards the goal.

At the back of her head, Yunjin still remembered her words and her morals; she would always prioritise the whole team to make sure they won over her desires. 

That wasn’t the case this time because if it hadn’t been for Yunjin’s anger that turned her selfish they would have scored. What they got in return was the captain getting squeezed by two defenders and tumbling onto the grass before the whistle was blown and their chance of scoring was lost. 

The wet grass she had fallen onto left a taste of metallic anguish in her mouth while the scent of dirt lingered by her nose. The force had left her lungs to burn, but she was overwhelmed by her frustrations to feel the actual pain.

“Are you okay? What was that about?” 

She harshly wiped the sweat off her brow to not get any in her eyes and her hard glare landed on Chaewon who was panting for air while extending her hand to help the captain up.

The girl was nothing but a good sport even if what happened wasn’t slightly her fault. Everything was Yunjin’s fault and always would be, wouldn’t it? Losing her title, losing the girl she loved, and wasting opportunities; were all Yunjin’s fault.

Confusion lingered in Chaewon’s gaze as Yunjin shoved her hand away. “Leave me alone, Chaewon.” Yunjin wished and hoped that the girl would disappear fully from her life no matter how perfect she was. It only made her wish that much more for the girl to disappear as she got up on her own, holding onto her knees as she leaned over.

Yunjin tightly shut her eyes, trying to muffle everything and everyone, feeling the tears trickle from her eyes as they stung her warm cheeks. The team surrounded her, worrying pats on her back and questions were thrown her way. She did it all on her own and she knew it. Yunjin spat out the blood in her mouth as she bit into her lip when colliding with the grass.

The only thing that snapped her out of it was the coach’s voice and she shrugged everyone off of her. Her shoulder once again bumped Chaewon’s who she didn’t spare a second glance at while wiping the blood off her lip. The lump was hurting her throat, making her want to burst out in tears the same second she reached the woman in front of her. 

“You’re off the field, I will talk with you after.” Yunjin scoffed, ready to walk towards the bench. “Kim!” She was stopped though as her shoulder was grabbed and she looked at her coach. 

“I told you about the consequences, Huh, hand the armband over to Kim.” 

Her jaw clenched, fighting the tears that wanted to spill as she felt blow after blow hit her where it hurt the most with things she loved the most. 

Yunjin’s trembling fingers tore the armband off of her as she snivelled and turned just in time as Chaewon jogged over to them. She didn’t say a word nor did she wait for what Chaewon had to say as she opened her mouth; Yunjin shoved it into the girl’s chest with a huff, making Chaewon stumble before it fell to the grass and she walked away. 

It was somewhere between humiliating and not as her emotions blinded her while she walked off the field and past the bleachers, past everyone she knew and she didn’t stop. Yunjin couldn’t stop because the closer to the lockers that she got the more sobs started to spill from her lips. 

There was nothing else that she wanted to do but to love Y/n yet she hated how love made her feel like she was floating and then as if she was falling on her way to crash to her death. 

She had yet to cry about it, Yunjin had been suppressing every little bit of pain she had felt, and she had been suffering without shedding any tears. It was something she had gotten good at just like she was good at suppressing her feelings, letting them build up inside until she was choking on them. Her choked sobs echoed through the empty locker room as she cried into her palms, sitting on the bench.

“Jen…Can I come in?”

She looked up, her eyes falling on the door where Y/n’s soft voice came from behind. Yunjin snivelled, trying to figure out if seeing Y/n would make her feel better or worse. She knew that it would be the first, but she also knew it would push her tears further. The striker wiped at her eyes while mumbling a loud enough ‘yeah’ to her best friend. 

What she knew was that Y/n wouldn’t come in and assume how she was feeling, she wouldn’t pity her, she wouldn’t lie to her, and she wouldn’t invalidate the way she felt. Y/n would offer her comfort, let her find solace in her and simply listen to her. 

The problem was that she couldn’t tell Y/n how she felt, there was nothing she could let off her chest when it all was about the cheerleader whose shoulder she was crying on.

“Do you need anything?” Yunjin shook her head as she didn’t want anything but Y/n who was right beside her. It made her body shake as she cried, aware of the fact that she was crying because she finally had a way of letting out all these suppressed feelings and that what happened was the final push. 

She couldn't hold it anymore, it was making her body tremble and she felt weak because of the exhaustion she felt from holding everything to herself.

Her eyes stayed shut as she cried in the crook of Y/n’s neck with her fingers tangled in the girl’s top. She dwelled in the feeling of Y/n rubbing her back with one hand as the other gently massaged her scalp. Yunjin knew that she would never lose this, but she would never be able to call Y/n hers and that brought her pain even if Y/n could soothe it. 

“I’m always here for you, I will always listen to whatever you have on your mind, Jen, I’m here to just be a shoulder to cry on too.” 

She took in shuddering breaths, trying her best to calm down as she listened to the girl’s words, but somehow they made it worse. The kinder Y/n was, the more she cared; the more Yunjin fell and the harder the impact of the fall was. It hurt to fall because she didn’t tell Y/n the truth and had no one to catch her. 

“I hate it when you cry, Jen. I don’t want to see you hurting.” Yunjin knew that Y/n wasn’t stupid. One thing Yunjin knew was that her best friend knew her well enough to know that more than what happened on the field bothered her. 

It was enough for Yunjin to find the comfort that she needed without having to tell Y/n what it was because the girl was aware that it was more even if she didn’t know exactly what it was.

“Thank you…” She mumbled, slowly pulling away from the girl as she wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks. 

There was so much she wanted to thank Y/n for, there was so much she wanted to tell her yet when she looked up from her lap and at her best friend she couldn’t bring herself to risk it. Her lips parted and they meekly left her lips, moving but barely as she couldn’t tell them loud enough for anyone but her soul to hear.

She watched how the corners of Y/n’s lips tugged up and the girl reached her hand up to her face. It made Yunjin’s ears ring from how her heart started to beat. “You’re so stupid, Jen–” A breathless chuckle left Y/n’s lips and the ginger swallowed, her eyes not being able to meet Y/n’s gaze. After all, it always felt like they were trying to tempt Yunjin, trying their best to coax those suppressed feelings out.

Y/n made it feel like the easiest thing in the world; there was no one easier to love than Y/n and so those words were easy to say to the girl. 

Yunjin was the one who made it the most difficult thing in the world; there was nothing harder than risking someone so easy to love. 

“It’s gonna be swollen, idiot.” Yunjin winced, pulling her face away from Y/n’s hold after the girl's thumb pushed against the side of her lower lip. The pain only kicked in now as she looked at the little blood it left on Y/n’s thumb. 

“I’m sorry for being tackled, I guess.” She grumbled, making Y/n roll her eyes. 

There was yet another knock on the door that interrupted them and Y/n stood up, walking over to the door. The ginger watched her open the door which made her look down when she saw who was on the other side.

“I will be back with ice.” Chaewon nodded at the girl who gave her a small smile as she grabbed the door to hold it while Y/n stepped outside. Her eyes stayed on the cheer captain for a second who walked away before she stepped inside and let the door fall closed. 

There was an awkward tension lingering in the air as she leaned against the door and finally looked at Yunjin who was staring down at the tiled floor under her cleats. Chaewon cleared her throat as she was there for two reasons. There was no way she could just let this go, not after what happened on the field. 

Chaewon took a seat beside Yunjin, her hands holding onto the edge of the bench as she looked at her cleats. With a deep breath that she released right after she looked at the girl who was still avoiding looking at her.

“Yunjin, did I do something?” There was no reason to wait around because no one would fix this for them. Chaewon didn’t like where it had ended because she hadn’t even known it was heading this way. As far as she knew there was no bad blood between them, however, she had a hunch about what it could be from Yunjin’s side.

“What?” The girl finally looked up, her lashes still wet, the blood dry on the corner of her lip. Chaewon pursed her lips, feeling sympathy for what her teammate and friend went through, from the fall to being ripped off the title of the team captain in front of everyone. 

“I feel like that anger was aimed at me and I’m not sure what I did, however, I’m willing to apologise if I truly did something to upset you.” She didn’t know exactly what it was, she could assume, but she wanted to know exactly what it was from Yunjin herself. Chaewon was willing to apologise for it because she could tell that it was more than the frustrations of pressure and feeling the need to win the game. 

Chaewon pissed Yunjin off with how nice she was, with how good she was because all Yunjin wanted to do was resent her, but it was impossible to resent someone who hadn’t done anything and was clueless about Yunjin’s feelings for the cheerleader. Y/n herself didn’t know. 

Her eyes looked over Chaewon as they stared at each other in silence.

Yunjin huffed and looked away, wiping away the remnants of tears on her lashes. The momentary silence let her consider what she should tell the girl. The consideration of telling Chaewon the truth about being in love with Y/n laid heavily on the scale as she wanted to lean towards it.

“Is it about Y/n?” Chaewon scratched at the back of her neck as Yunjin looked back at her after she broke the silence between them. She couldn’t help but feel like it could have been about the girl she liked. 

She cleared her throat as Yunjin was looking at her with wide yet confused eyes. The words that she pushed out from between her lips weren’t easy to say aloud even if it was easy to like Y/n. 

Chaewon still did it, “I like her, yes, but I’m not trying to hog or steal your best friend. I’m sorry if I may have been taking away from your time together, but those aren’t my intentions…Y/n will always be your best friend and I will never try to replace that.” Her hands dropped to her lap as she looked between them and Yunjin. 

Chaewon was aware of how much time she had been spending with Y/n both at school and outside of it whether they were planned dates or spontaneous hangouts. It wasn’t intentional; she liked Y/n and was trying her best to get to know her and possibly spark interest from the cheerleader’s side too. They had known each other for a good two months and she hoped to soon enough take the next step.

Yunjin sighed and looked in front of her to blink away the tears that wanted to fall again as those emotions were still faintly swirling around her head. That was the problem, wasn’t it? She would always be Y/n’s best friend. That was exactly the problem and she hated it even if she cherished the fact that Y/n was her best friend and the other way around.

“It’s–It’s not that Chaewon, we still hang out like we used to–” This was her chance even if it would be selfish to say it now that the girl beside her had been seeing Y/n. It would either spark competition between them or make Chaewon step back.

It still came with the same risks, the ones that made her overthink and back down. “It’s just the stress getting to me with these games, aiming for nationals and hopefully getting scouted along the way.” Her hands gripped the material of her shorts, angry with herself once again for refusing to say what she wanted. She would only be able to blame herself once it would be too late.

“Okay, I was worried it might’ve been that. I’m trying my best and hoping that she likes me enough so that I can ask her out to officially date…You think she would say yes?”

Chaewon was making it hard to stay collected once again and she managed to pull off a smile through the stinging in her chest. 

“There’s only one way to find out, Chaewon.” The girl beside her let out a breathless chuckle as she nodded while Yunjin felt stupid for saying those words to someone else, but yet she refused to listen to them herself.

“Also.” She looked up at Chaewon who got up to stand in front of her.

“I loved being captain back in Austin, but I could never accept this–” She watched her tear off the armband with the C on it before she held it out in front of Yunjin. “You’re a great captain Yunjin, you deserve to have it more than me or anyone else on the team. I never wanted to put it on, especially not that way…I will talk to the coach.” 

“Thank you, Chaewon.”

If only she could curse Chaewon out for making everything so much harder as she accepted the captain's armband back. 

Despite the small commotion on the field, they had won 1 - 0. 

Chaewon couldn’t help but feel like each day everything about this transfer felt better and brighter. She missed home, her old friends and everything else, but it all was being filled. It was a drastic change she thought would cause more damage than good however, she had been wrong.

After every game they won they found themselves at the beach and this time was no different. It served as a way for her to take time and reflect and see where she was now compared to when she was at the beach for the first time after just starting.

It felt less empty, there wasn’t as much confusion, she felt that emptiness within her after leaving a part of herself behind slowly get filled; building a new part in its place. There was a new home being built in her, that fear of alienation disappearing and she now longed after the familiarity of the new people she had grown close to. They were the ones who made her feel at home.

Home is where the heart lies; Chaewon never left her heart back in Austin.

She was feeling quite at home, slowly finding a place to call home as she leaned back against her palms, Y/n leaning against her shoulder that was behind the cheer captain. It had taken less than a month to find a place to settle in and around two months to settle and let her heart pump warmth to keep her home warm. It made Chaewon smile at how naturally it was all falling into place. 

The gentle crackling of the fireplace filled the air together with talk and laughter from the rest. The scent of the fire wasn’t as overwhelming when Y/n rested her head on her shoulder, her arm resting over Chaewon’s leg and fingers drawing circles on her knee. 

The cheerleader talked to the others while Chaewon rested her cheek against Y/n’s, letting the sweet scent and warmth in. It had become her new favourite one; it was the only one she knew just by entering a room right after the girl. It let her know that she would feel at home. 

“The starry sky suits you.” She mumbled, feeling the girl who was leaning against her chuckle. 

“Are you trying to disgust Yeonjun?” Chaewon huffed at that and looked over at the guy who was already making a face at their closeness. 

“He’s the biggest anti-romantic on this planet.” Her eyes fell on Y/n who looked up at her with a teasing smile.

“So you’re trying to be romantic?”

“If it’s working, then yes.” She smiled as Y/n giggled and looked back at Jimin and Kazuha who called for her attention. Her heart raced with warmth as she watched Y/n continue to trace patterns along her knee while talking. 

Chaewon knew that there was no need to wait any longer, there was a garden of feelings growing in her chest for Y/n and she needed to let them out before she would suffocate. She needed to tell Y/n how she felt before she could start hurting from suppressing it in her.

Yunjin found herself walking back towards her group of friends after trailing off and standing alone in the cold sand with the wind blowing through what felt like holes in her body. Those same holes were ones she filled with the love she had for Y/n, the same feelings she suppressed until she was choking on them.

It took her all these years to realise that the longer she refused to express her feelings towards the girl the more it would hurt, it would hurt whether or not anyone else was in the picture or not. 

It was a punishment for keeping it inside her when she could have let her feelings grow because they were beautiful yet she suppressed them and let them cramp up inside her until it was burning her lungs.

Each time her throat closed up was because of something she felt but refused to say.

Love didn’t have to be painful, it had all along been her choice to make it hurt.

Yunjin had been hurting herself.

Her eyes scanned her group of friends, her hands in her pockets as she poked her tongue at the wound on the side of her lip. She knew that the heavy beating she felt in her chest mixed with an acidic sting when her eyes landed on her best friend and Chaewon could turn into the former alone if she confessed her love. 

Yunjin realised that even if she were to get rejected it wouldn’t hurt as much to see Y/n with someone else after. She realised where the problem lay; it was suppressing her feelings that hurt and not fearing them.

The only cure to be able to breathe normally again was to let her feelings flow out through her mouth instead of cramping them inside her lungs. She knew despite everything there was only one choice.

Yunjin walked over to the two as there was only one spot left which was beside Y/n who was wearing the captain’s varsity jacket; two, Chaewon’s resting in the girl’s lap. The longer she stared at the campfire in front of her the hotter her eyes felt as the realisation was starting to lift weights off of her chest and she knew what she truly had to do. 

It all opened up her cramped space for those feelings in her chest, growing like a floral garden, each petal, each flower being something she felt for Y/n. It was all the flowers she wanted to give to the girl and she knew that she would as she felt Y/n’s pinky intertwine with hers on the blanket. 

Yunjin wasn’t going to wait any longer as she glanced at Y/n, knowing that it was the girl she wanted to give all the flowers in the world to. All those flowers she had been dying from because of how much it all had grown in her chest without giving what she should have given to Y/n ages ago.

She was in love with her best friend and she was done with suppressing what was beautiful.

Remnants of adrenaline coursed through Yunjin’s body as they officially made it to the quarter-finals. Her heart continued to pound even after she had changed and she knew that it was more than just the high of qualifying. She had hurt enough because of love and she wanted to continue to love without the part where it hurt every time she didn’t express herself.

It felt like time was ticking away, especially after seeing how much closer Chaewon was to the girl yet Yunjin couldn’t help but feel like there was something between her and Y/n. That she hadn’t been living in a make-believe world this whole time and that their skinny love was true and Yunjin would take the step to turn it into love. 

The only thing she was losing was time she could have loved Y/n in more than silence.

“Okay, I’m just gonna find my dad to get the keys to his car.” Yunjin looked over her shoulder as she pulled her varsity jacket out of her locker to see Chaewon sling her duffle bag over her shoulder. She gave Chaewon a terse smile when the girl sent her one first before averting her gaze.

“I will meet you at the parking lot after.” 

“I will try to make it on time.” The second striker chuckled at Yujin’s words who walked after her with crutches. Chaewon opened the door and held it for the injured girl before leaving in a hurry. The door fell closed after them, the rest of the team keeping up their chatter.

Yunjin slung the bag over her shoulder and held the jacket under her arm to give it to Y/n like she always did. This time she hoped she could give it without it being platonic. With that, she bid goodbye to whoever she wasn’t going to see later and left the locker room.

She walked through the empty halls of the sports wing, hoping to bump into Y/n while she rummaged for her phone in the bag. Undoubtedly it felt like she was about to have a heart attack with how much it hurt when her heart started colliding with her ribcage, a faint lightheadedness clouding her as she did her best to take deep breaths. 

This wasn’t because she was afraid to express her feelings anymore, but because she was finally going to take the step to do something she had wanted for years. This was the excitement that was so similar to the fear that she almost mixed it up once again.

Yunjin couldn’t waste more time, Y/n wasn’t someone she wanted to make wait when she deserved every last drop of love Yunjin could give her.

The lack of a reply was making Yunjin’s nerves spike because she wanted to do it now and not wait a second longer. To get all these fears behind. Her fingers fidgeted with the jacket in her hands, glancing at her phone as she waited for a reply, aware that the girl often took longer in the changing room or wouldn’t have her phone right at hand. 

It wasn’t the first time Yunjin waited for a reply, but this time felt like ages as she leaned against the wall not far from the entrance of the basketball court. It was making her jittery, shifting on her legs as it was hard to stand still with all those petals and flowers tickling her stomach and lungs; Yunjin would burst if she wouldn’t let these things flow out for Y/n to hear at last.

Her phone screen lit up and she looked towards the entrance of the basketball court that burst open to see the cheerleader walk out with her eyes on the phone screen. Yunjin pushed herself up from the wall, her hands clutching onto the jacket to occupy her fingers and hold onto something to not back down once again.

“Jen!” She smiled as Y/n looked up from the phone and caught her presence right away. 

“Congratulations on qualifying, you guys did so well. You were perfect on the field.” Yunjin bit down on her lower lip at the words that were causing everything to overgrow in her chest. She could feel it pushing up by force this time, the garden didn’t want to wait; it was too beautiful to keep cramped up inside her. She needed to let Y/n know how much she loved her.

How in love she was.

“Thank you, we did our best, but–” The captain cleared her throat, feeling all those familiar feelings and pains she usually did because of how she suppressed her words. This time it came with reassurance to herself that she was going to do it. 

She took a deep breath as Y/n tilted her head, a small frown of confusion and Yunjin felt it all wash over her, this time melting and letting herself get coaxed by Y/n’s beautiful eyes when the cheerleader grabbed hold of her hands. That reassuring warmth of Y/n’s touch she always felt and got from the girl reminded her of how it would be fine.

It was clear to Yunjin that her overwhelmed body and nervousness lingered in the air and that Y/n could sense it. This time she let herself get lost in the comfort, the solace and trust Y/n brought her.

“There’s this thing I really want to tell you, Y/n.” She got a nod in response, thumbs brushing over her knuckles and she slid one hand out of Y/n’s grasp to nervously play with the pendant of her necklace. 

Yunjin could feel her mind drift off and she was aware that it would be a blur until it was over as she cleared her throat once again to try and get rid of the scratching she felt because of her nerves. 

“Anything, Jen.”

“There’s so much that I want to tell you and have wanted to say probably since we started high school, and I have always hesitated for even more reasons…” Her eyes searched for something to look at yet all she could look at was Y/n who was right in front of her. That frown on her face slowly disappeared the more Yunjin managed to ramble and push out, hoping that somewhere between these lines the words ‘I’m in love with you’ would come out. 

The pounding of her heart was muffling everything for her and it was warm. “I think that the biggest is the fact that you’re my best friend and I would never want to ruin that in any way.” 

She released yet another sigh and let her hand fall, clutching onto the side of her jeans. Yunjin couldn’t remember if she had ever been this anxious, the heat was coursing up to her face and ears and there was a faint buzzing in her ears. This was Yunjin facing her biggest fears and she knew that once she did it she would feel ecstatic. 

“It’s just that–It’s really hard to keep it to myself and I managed to keep it for years now. But, I can’t keep doing that because I always end up…hurting.” She inhaled once again, forgetting to breathe between her sentences. It was overwhelming with how much was on the line and she felt like crying because of the waves of emotions washing over her without a stop. 

She was desperate to tell Y/n that she was in love and even more desperate for the girl to feel the same. The longer it took the more her voice quivered and she still fought to avoid these negative thoughts and doubts that tried to hit her like they always did.

Her mind was in too big of a daze to take her time and read Y/n’s expression, the girl was looking at her with those usual soft eyes, letting her know that it was fine. That was all Yunjin needed to know to continue talking. 

It would be fine and Y/n would never hurt her.

“There’s so much and I don’t know what to start with or what exactly to say, but the thing I’ve always wanted to say the most, knowing that I can trust you as my best friend is that,” her last breath and it was right at the tip of her tongue. 

Y/n was her best friend and she could always trust her with anything and it would never matter what it was. Yunjin knew that she could trust her with her feelings and heart and tell her those words.

“Y/n, I’m painfully in–”

“I found the keys. I dropped them under one of the benches.”

It made Yunjin flinch when the door to the basketball court flew open, her heart hammering so quickly it was making her nauseous and she felt like fainting. Her blurred vision cleared as it landed on Chaewon who walked out from the court. The hold on her hand disappeared as Y/n looked over her shoulder at the other soccer player who walked towards them. 

Yunjin’s lips parted as did Y/n’s who was about to reply to Chaewon who walked up to them, fixing the duffle bag slung across her chest. Was she supposed to ask Chaewon to leave so she could continue? 

She was right there, she had practically said those words and it was the closest she had ever been. Yunjin was about to grasp her dream, she was so close that she was touching it with the tips of her fingers.

Could she ask Chaewon who wrapped her arm around Y/n’s waist with an even bigger and giddier smile to leave? Yunjin did everything in her power to avoid looking at Y/n, being able to feel the girl’s gaze on her face. It finally settled in her head that Y/n was already wearing a jacket; Chaewon’s jacket. 

“I got the courage and asked Y/n out, so we’re officially dating now.” It made Yunjin let out a breath as she nodded along to the information. She bit her lower lip, digging her teeth into it to prevent her eyes from getting wet. She was doing everything in her power to distract herself to not let herself shed tears.

Yunjin kept her composure during one of the worst moments of her life yet everything on the inside was suffocating her, it was growing around her heart. Yunjin could feel the thorns from the garden dig into the muscle making it bleed out and everything felt lifeless and heavy around her. So close, but her dream slipped right through her fingers.

There was one thing Yunjin couldn’t forget though, not in this moment or any other moment because Y/n always came first. It didn’t matter how much Yunjin was hurting, if she was being swallowed by pain, being torn apart from the inside with a lump in her throat that made it ache.

It didn’t matter if she felt like crying, she could wait just like she had done all these years. The worst that could happen if she waited was that she would drown in misery, but she had grown used to it, hadn’t she?

“That’s—I’m happy for you two.” She would always remember to be happy for Y/n. Y/n’s happiness would forever be Yunjin’s happiness even if the cheerleader's happiness was making her nose prickle and her eyes sting, unable to breathe from the tight grip those thorny stems had on her heart, squeezing.

Her dream had always been to make Y/n happy and dreams meant sacrificing even if it was a piece of herself. There was nothing greater she could sacrifice for Y/n than her heart in the end.

Yunjin glanced over to Y/n at last, feeling pain shoot through her heart and she hugged the jacket closer to her to try and ease it. She looked away from Y/n’s face, those beautiful eyes holding nothing but concern now. 

Yunjin decided that it would be best if she and hopefully Y/n forgot that she even started this conversation. It was the day her world crumbled into dust in the end and she didn’t want to remember that. 

She would rather remember it as the day Y/n found happiness in someone even if it wasn’t Yunjin.

Yunjin wanted to remember how much she loved Y/n and not the moment her heart broke because she loved her. 

“We’re taking my dad's truck. Want a ride or…” Her eyes nervously darted around as they fell on Chaewon who still had a smile on her face. She opened her mouth and searched for words all while feeling everything within her slowly go numb from pain the longer they stood in front of her. 

“Oh, I’m–no, it’s fine, I have my car.” Her voice couldn’t stop trembling and her gaze fell to the floor at last, unable to look Chaewon and especially not Y/n in the eye. It was all crashing down on her and she knew that she would break any second.

“Okay, see you there then, Yunjin.” She nodded her head and stepped aside, stopping by the wall as they walked past her. 

Yunjin bit her lower lip as her breathing picked up and the prickling in her nose was painful enough for the tears to fall at last. The bag on her shoulder slid down and she let it fall to the floor as she leaned against the wall to try and ground herself. She snivelled and wiped at her eyes with the jacket she planned to give to Y/n and her gaze still fell on them as she hugged it closer for comfort because she couldn’t go to Y/n with this anguish.

She watched her friend and best friend walk away, taking a turn and Y/n’s worried eyes met hers for a split second when the girl looked over her shoulder before disappearing. 

There was no holding back as she slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face into the jacket while hugging them to seek some type of solace and salvation for the pain. Her tears hot tears spilled onto the jacket that she had saved for Y/n, but would now only serve to soak up tears.

If only she had found Yn first. She had because she had found Y/n years ago, but Chaewon was the one to finish first. Yunjin had been stalling all these years and when she finally decided that she was going to get Yn, someone swept the girl away right before her eyes. She had loved Y/n for all those years and now she would have to live with the regret of not telling her right from the start. 

She could silently brew resentment towards Chaewon for sweeping the person she had built dreams around right from under her feet.

Or maybe she should be thankful to Chaewon for saving her from possibly losing her best friend. One she would never be able to replace if her confession went wrong or even if it went right. She was sure that her best friend would stay no matter what because she could trust Y/n. Yet she tried to convince herself that she couldn’t know that and that it had been reasonable to hold back. 

She knew that it hadn’t been, she just wanted to ease the way her heart was beingtormented. 

The worst part wasn’t that she was too late though, but that she would never get to know if Y/n felt the same. If all those gestures were friendly or if they held a deeper meaning like Yunjin’s did. The worst part was that Yunjin would never get to know if they could ever have been more than best friends.

It was all Yunjin’s fault.

masterlist

a/n note; hi if you made it to the end :) thank you for reading/reblogging/leaving a note and appreciating my work. it means so much and motivates me further as i always try my best, hoping you peeps liked it. love you and can't wait to post more for yall <3

#chaewon #chaewon x reader #chaewon x female reader #lesserafim x reader #fluff #kim chaewon #le sserafim fluff #chaewon x fem reader #yunjin x fem reader #huh yunjin x reader #huh yunjin #huh jennifer #le sserafim angst #le sserafim x fem reader #female reader #fanfic #girl group imagines #le sserafim imagines #yunjin x female reader #chaewon fluff #yunjin fluff #yunjin angst #chaewon angst #kim chaewon x reader #yunjin x reader

[sleepingdead96]

Prepared for Anything Part Three

What was with Danny’s luck and fires? He wondered as he searched a warehouse he’d come across for survivors. He’d been flying home(invisibly of course) when a nearby building had exploded. Flames licked at the grease spattered floor and ate at old crates, but the biggest issue was the smoke. It billowed thickly like the smog that filled Gotham’s skies, and impeded even Danny’s enhanced vision. He could taste the ash in the air. He knew there were people here. He heard someone coughing and the sound of fighting going on ahead. 

He forged onward, dashing towards the sounds, and the layers of smoke lessened enough for Danny to see what was taking place.

The first thing he noticed was the scuffle. About a dozen of what were clearly henchmen fired guns and grappled with. . .

Danny sighed.

More vigilantes.

One wore purple and had long, blonde hair. The other wore black with gold accents, and a mask covered her face. Both sides of the fight wore rebreathers.

The second thing Danny noticed was the red vigilante with bandoliers across his chest, bound with chains, and hanging by the ceiling. He hung over a vat of boiling oil that was alit with flames.

. . .

. . .

What was this? Some scene from a childrens’ cartoon?

Danny hurried forward, egged on by the lung Red was hacking up, one who very much was not wearing a rebreather.

Danny pointed a finger at the chain suspending the poor vigilante, and shot a small ecto-blast from the tip. The chain broke.

The vigilante screamed as he fell towards the boiling vat and Danny leapt to intercept him mid-air.

“Huu—“ The vigilante huffed at the impact, Danny’s shoes squealing as he landed and skidded to a halt.

The red guy wheezed. “Thanks.”

“Sure. Couldn’t just leave you hanging around, now could I?” Danny grinned.

Tim groaned.

Danny didn’t think the vigilante had room to complain.

Immediately, they were beset by attackers.

“Oop.” Danny dodged a bullet, shifting only the needed inch to avoid it. “Hey! Watch it! I’ve got cargo!”

“Carg—?!” The vigilante tried, only to hack again. He sounded offended. Danny didn’t really care.

A few goons were closing in on them from all sides, and Danny found it highly annoying that they were interfering with his mission to get this damsel in distress outside to fresh air. It wouldn’t take too long to knock ‘em out, but still.

One of the lackeys raised his weapon and Danny prepared to—

Flying in from the left came a foot, clocking the man in the jaw. Danny watched a small and lithe black figure move like she was the manifestation of violent, deadly grace itself. Danny was in awe as she took the man out, gliding and dancing as if it was all she breathed and all she lived. Her movements were efficient and so quick, Danny could barely catch the motions taking out the next three men after.  She tore through them like they were nothing. They fell at her feet as if they were insignificant gnats, as if one look was enough from the goddess of death over here to kill them.

She turned to Danny when she’d cleared his immediate attackers, and he stared at her, mouth slightly agape. His heart fluttered.

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. . .” Danny muttered mostly to himself. He could watch her do that over and over and over again and never get tired of it. It was captivating.

The black vigilante went still for a moment, her eyes seeming to lock with his through her mask, before motioning for him to flee.

“Right.” Danny dashed past her, lugging the red one in a bridal carry. A fireman’s carry would probably be hard on his lungs.

“Wh—at w—s tha—t?!” The red one coughed up. Danny couldn’t tell if he was laughing at him or judging him. Or both.

“Shush.”

Danny blew through the nearest doors of the warehouse to meet fresh air and sucked in a deep breath. The smoke didn’t bother him, but this was still nice. He distanced himself from the warehouse quickly, worried about wasting time and risking this dude’s life. Or health. Danny had no idea how bad the smoke inhalation was. Pretty bad, he was guessing.

Danny laid him down in some alley. Mechanical whirring announced who had arrived. Danny looked up as the purple and black vigilantes dropped down from the roofs.

Danny’s eyes briefly glanced over Purple to rest on Black.

“Oh, hey. That was quick.”

The purple one shrugged. “We were almost done any—where did that come from?”

Danny uncoiled the tube to the oxygen tank and mask, fixing it over the baffled face of Red.

“Huh?” Danny fiddled with the knob on the tank and Red took deep breaths.

“You just have an oxygen tank on you at all times?” The purple one laughed.

“You don’t?” Danny countered. He tried not to smirk as Purple choked on her laugh.

“I was joking!”

Danny shrugged.

“Good job.” Black complimented and Danny’s heart palpitated. Her voice was so soft and gentle and the most melodious thing he’s ever heard.

“Yeah, thanks, I mean, no problem, just passing by, I'm in burning buildings all the time, wasn't any trouble." Danny rambled as he went back to fumbling with the knobs.

"Wait, what?" Red croaked.

Purple took in a long breath, as if hit with some amazing bit of realization.

Danny abruptly stood where he’d been sitting on the ground next to Red.

“Here. These are for you.” Danny thrust his hand out to Black, holding a bouquet of exotic, beautiful flowers, native to the Infinite Realms, and at least six times the size of his head.

Purple nearly seized back. “What the—?! Where are these things coming from?!”

Danny had received a multitude of bouquets for his coronation and he was suddenly very glad that he’d frozen them in time to decorate his keep with. Jazz had insisted it would brighten up the place.

“Ah, well, you never know when you might need a professionally done, extravagant bouquet of exotic wildflowers to present to your rescuer. You were my knight in shining. . .whatever kinda armour that is. . .”

Purple’s jaw went slack. Black seemed to pause before shrugging lightly and looking away, curling a little into herself as if embarrassed. Her body language said she was still happy, though. She carefully took the bouquet from him.

Danny was gonna die again. The butterflies were going to mutate and burst out of his stomach.

“Oh my gosh! Stop flirting over my dying body!” Red interrupted.

Danny spluttered. “I am not—“

“You totally are!!” Purple cackled as if this was the most entertainment she’s had in weeks.

Danny ignored her. “Anyway, can I have your name?” He asked Black.

“Wait. . .”Purple tried to get herself under control. “You don’t know who we are?”

Danny shrugged. “I’m, uh. . .from outta town.”

“Well, that was kinda obvious.” Red said.

“Orphan.” Black gestured to herself.

Danny paused. He blinked. Alright, that was. . .that was some oddly personal information to go straight to, but okay.

“I’m. . .sorry for your loss.”

Purple guffawed and slapped a hand over her mouth. Red hacked up another lung. He was gonna run out soon.

Black shook ever so subtly with her own laughter and Danny nearly melted.

“No. Name.” She gestured to herself. “Orphan.”

“It’s her vigilante name.” Purple was still laughing.

“Ah. . .yes. . .right.” Danny blushed. “My name’s Danny. It’s nice to meet ya’ll.” His words implied he spoke to all of them, but he looked only at Orphan.

“Yeah, I’m lucky you were there to grab me. I don’t know how that chain broke.” Red said from where he’d sat up from the ground. Danny’s lips pursed. He honestly kept forgetting about him.

Purple took a steadying breath, warding off the laughter still treading her words. “We should probably get him some medical attention.”

“Psh, I’m fine.”

“I thought you said you were dying?” Danny asked.

“That was like, ten seconds ago, I’m fine now.”

“Yeah, about as fine as a chain smoker with a drinking problem. Have you heard yourself? It’s like you swallowed a sword and gave it a good swishing around down there.” Purple retorted.

Red scoffed.

Danny backed out of the alley, flashing Orphan a smile before disappearing.

<><><><>

“What happened to all your food?!”

Danny came home to Jason(AKA Red Hood. {The wacky ectoplasm kinda made it obvious. Danny was working on that}) peering into his fridge judgementally as if it was an a affront to his person. “I loaded it up just a couple days ago!”

Danny reached past his friend to grab the orange juice and poured himself a glass. He went to sit at the counter. “I ate it all. Duh.”

“There was a week’s worth in there!” Jason gestured indignantly at the empty fridge, staring at Danny.

Danny took a long sip of his juice, keeping eye contact with Jason all the while. When his thirst was parched, he set the cup down with a quiet clink. He leaned his elbows on the counter to hold his face. 

“Obviously not, because I ate it all.”

Jason pinched his nose and sighed before letting the fridge door drift closed. He poured the kettle he must’ve boiled earlier into a prepared mug.

Danny stared down at his half-emptied glass. “I think I’m in love.” He murmured thoughtfully into it.

The tea bag bobbing in Jason’s mug paused, before continuing. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Danny sighed, mournfully. He wondered if Orphan would care if he was half-dead or from another dimension. Would he meet her again? He really, really hoped so. “I met her in a burning building.”

“. . .What?”

“Yeah, what an amazing coincidence, right?”

“That’s not—“

“She was so cool.”

“. . .kaaay?”

How did Danny get her attention? He couldn’t just show up wherever she was vigilante-ing, could he? He didn’t want her to feel like he was stalking her.

Danny shuddered and made a face. Ugh. Ew.

No. He needed to find another way.

A small smile wound it’s way over his lips as an idea came to him.

“What’s her name?” Jason asked.

“Umm, you’ve probably heard of her. She said her name was Orphan.”

Jason choked on his tea.

#dpxdc fanfic #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #orphan #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #Red Robin #tim drake wayne #Dimension Travel #dp x dc au #danny phantom #Spoiler

[underestimated-heroine]

The fact that radfems spread this post around is actually really interesting--infuriating, but interesting. Because what they've really done here is tell on themselves.

This is the shrimp guy story:

From an anonymous green text called "shrimp saved my life" [emphasis mine]:

>be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew >We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

He did address his relationship with women. By finding a hobby and passion and working on himself--"touching grass"--he stepped away from the echo chamber that filled him with all this rage and convinced him women were to blame for all of his problems. As someone once wisely observed, "the cure is going offline and realizing it's just. really not that big a deal."

And that is what radfems have not done, so of course they didn't spot the quiet flashpoint of shrimp guy's personal development within his story.

Edit: it's been brought to my attention that the version of the greentext post I lifted the text from was censored by someone else. My bad for not realizing that, tbh it was done so well I thought shrimp guy had done it himself, but that's an important part of the post. I've gone back through and un-censored it. The reply which was spread around with the original post addressed the words themselves well, I think; however distasteful and fucked up the incel rabbit hole is, it doesn't diminish his growth.

#posts i actually wrote #cw radical feminism #cw transphobia #incels

[haruchi-slit]

"CONCEALED CHARMS!"

synopsis: jjk men reacting to reader who has small chest!

characters: sukuna, toji, nanami, suguru and satoru

warnings: | sukuna's part: reader is one of sukuna's concubine + nipple play + fingering | toji's part: cunnilingus + nipple play + fingering + slight edging | nanami's part: comfort + p in v + passionate sex (?) | suguru's part: comfort + p in v + lots of kissing (?) | satoru's part: shower sex + p in v + comfort | minors you were warned do not interact

Sukuna:

The king always wonders why his favorite concubine does not take her kimono fully whenever they had sex he was wondering why and it makes his head hurt, does she have a hidden mouth in her chest? no, no, no a mere concubine wouldn't have that, maybe she has a lot of scars? no her skin is like a porcelain. impossible. he wonders to himself. one day he couldn't take much more of it so he orders Uraume to come and get you to his chambers.

"my king, you called?" you murmured closing the doors behind walking towards the king.

he's sitting on the edge of the bed, he stood up, looking down because of the height difference,

"why do you not take your kimono every time we had sex?" he straight up asked, it caught you by surprise...

"o-oh i thought it wasn't necessary nor important that's why..i-"

"you're lying woman." he frowns "what no no no my lord i am n-" you retort before he lifts your weight and bounced you lightly on the soft mattress, "my king you really don't have to see my chest! it's not an important matter!" you resist but Sukuna is just so eager to see what's under your kimino he flicks his fingers together dismantling your kimono and so as your undergarments, your arms were quick to cover your chest, grabbing the sheets of king's mattress. "ah~ is this why you're always covering your chest? how cute." he says as he puts his weight on the mattress crawling towards you, he snatched the sheets you're gripping to with his other arm, "were you afraid that I'm going to replace you because of your chest?" he teased, "y-yes my lord, i was" "how pitiful..." he lets off a sadistic sigh as he grabs your arms revealing your cute small tits, it had his mouth watering, "there's no need to hide, brat..." Sukuna chuckles as he latched his mouth on one of your perked nipples giving them attention that they need, now he's not wondering anymore. now he can focus on giving the attention that they need, he wonders why you hid them away for such a long time. sukuna knows that he have seen many boobs in his lifetime but yours was definitely one of a kind. you moaned softly while he enjoyed your little titties popping them out using his tongue as his other arms and hands pleased your cunt, his tongue placed in his stomach, roaming on your body, at this point his pleasure is not one of his priorities, yours is...

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Toji:

"shit toji- that's the spot..." you rambled tugging your hands on his hair. This is the third time you and toji got intimate since the two years of your relationship and he hasn't seen you fully nude, yes he has seen your cunt but he hasn't seen your chest, for now, not that he minds he's just curious why. how is he still not yet to notce that you're flat chested? cause you wear push up bras, that's why he hasn't questioned why you don't want to remove your t-shirt. but today the curiosity got to him. "can you remove your t-shirt?" he murmured sending vibration on your clit, "why- so sudden? you never asked me to remove them" you'd debate "it's just...i want to see you nude that's why, you've seen me nude so why can't i see you?" Toji continues while lapping on your pussy, you were nervous, so nervous..."toji- i i can't. i think I can't" you whispered Toji's eyebrows knit "what do you mean you can't?" "it's just- you'll be disappointed" you sucked your lips between your teeth, "disappointed in what? it's not that I'm forcing, I'm just really curious why you never took them off..." he says with a lingering doubt and curiosity as he scissors his fingers in you. you let out a deep sigh and used your elbows to support your weight, you proceed to tug on your shirt revealing your push up bras, toji was too busy eating you up that he didn't even noticed, until he looks up to you, you're completely flustered it was a mix of embarrassment and arousal. toji continues to eat you out with his tongue while looking up to your flustered face, your arms that's covering your chest is what caught his attention. "hah...what is there to hide baby girl? I've literally seen your cunt" Toji says inching his mouth away from your pussy he used his hand to slick his hair back, to take a better look on you, "heh...now i see why" he smirks wiping your juices from his mouth, eyeing at your chest, "why hide this pretty tits of yours princess? were you shy?" you nod "you're so cute when you admit something yea? reminds me when you first confessed to me hah" he uttered ghosting his way to your body once again, swiftly unhooking your push up bras revealing your erected nipples it looked so cute, fuck it looked so scrumptious he swore he almost drooled. Toji wanted to suck your nipples, but not yet, not just yet, he traced his hand on your sensitive nipples, gently pinching tight circles on your tits, making you arch and squirm, your own drool was dripping to the side of your lips, now he decides to lock his mouth to one of your boob and you swore you almost shot stars, "fuckkkk to'ii mhm" you mewled as his finger inserts in your pussy, it felt that good. after that he never ever lets you wear your t-shirts whenever the two of you make love. he says: "it's cute don't hide them away from mee!"

+ ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ .

Kento:

it's Saturday night and Kento is very frustrated in work, he's supposed to come home by now but he was asked to work overtime, despite not being home for almost a week he was forced to stay over time, by the time he got home it was already midnight and he was surprised that you were still awake waiting for him, eating ice cream and watching movies in Netflix. You rose from your seat and made your way to the hallway to greet him. "good evening, Kenn~" you chirped, planting a soft peck on his lips to which he warmly responded to. "why are you still awake, darling?" he inquired. without missing a beat, you replied, "waiting for you, of course"you tinged with a mischief tone. "did you missed me?" he asks once more "of course i did ken..." you buried your face on his chest, "soo much" you babbled, his lips tugged a small smile as he ruffled your hair, colliding his lips to yours once more.

he admits, that he's not just frustrated cause of work, he was also frustrated of being away from you, this was not the longest time the two of you were separated, but still, nanami missed you, your scent, your presence, your touch- most of all your fucking cunt. there's just one thing that he always had his mind on, why you always wear your over sized shirts while having intimate sessions with him, and it's been going on for years now, but he never questioned that cause it wasn't a trouble for the both of you so he lets you be, it never bothered him until this day.

your legs sprawled in the thick atmosphere of lust as Nanami bucks his hips on you, his balls slapping eagerly on your ass, your arms and hands were locked on his neck, toes curling, back arching and eyes rolling back in to the depths of your skull. "Kento- fuckkk" you wailed, fat beads of tears pooled down from your eyes as he lets out all his frustration on you, "were you waiting for me because you wanted me to fuck you?" he groans drilling his fat cock in your cunt, "yesyesyess" you whined, nodding repeatedly as he carves your womb with his cock. groans were heard echoing in your shared bedroom, Kento noticed that you were sweating so much that it made your clothes damp, he sees this as a opportunity to get you to take your shirt off, "how bout you take that shirt off, baby?" he murmured burying his head on the valleys of your neck, you thought, it's about time to let him know that you're flat, you've been hiding your chest from him ever since, wearing bras with big foams so he won't notice, while being fucked dumb your head was clouded with thoughts, "Nanami- do you like girls with flat chest?" your tongue slipped, as the sound traveled to your ear you realized it sounded so embarrassing, Nanami chuckles at your sudden question, "what do you mean?" "n-nothing!" you stutter "take your shirt off baby, i don't want you to be soaking with your own sweat" lie, Nanami's not the type of guy to lie but he's fucking itching to see you full naked body, thinking about it just makes his fucking mouth drool, you kissed your teeth with your lips as you hesitate looking on the opposite direction it's about time you let him know!

fuck it you thought to yourself. you pulled your head up, positioning yourself in a sitting position before tugging your shirt and bra off he watched all of it, while jerking his cock in your sopped pussy, kento's eyes widen, but it wasn't because he was disappointed, he realized that you were hiding your chest because you thought it'll matter to him, he sees your face flushing to bright pink, he ghost's his lips to yours kissing you so deep and passionately, in which you responded too, you kissed till the both of you were out off breath, "don't ever think that your body's appearance would change my love towards you, you're beautiful...i love you so fucking much" he grunts kissing your forehead, "f-fuck thank you nanaminn~!" you sobbed, "fuck, look at how cute your tits are".

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Suguru:

this man's always been so mesmerized by your body, your personality and all, the way your clothes perfectly fits your curves, the way you move in such graceful ways, he's on his knees for you, he's always been drawn to your confident and alluring demeanor, as he got to know you more telling you that he love you so much, he found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with you. He loved every inch of you, but one day, as he was caressing your body, he realized something that shook him, while he had always admired your gorgeous curves and full breasts, he suddenly noticed that they were not as prominent as he had originally thought. In fact, as he ran his hands over your body, he realized that you were actually flat-chested.

At first, Suguru was taken aback. He couldn't believe that he had never noticed this before. But as he looked into your eyes, he saw the look of insecurity and fear in them

"S-suguru..." you uttered thinking that he might be disappointed... you've been hiding it from him since the beginning afraid that he'd judge you, and in that moment, he knew that it didn't matter to him. He loved you for who you were, not for the size of your breasts. he pulled you close to him, "y'know that it doesn't fucking matter to me, right? even if you looked like a pancake, I'd still love you.." he chuckle softly showering you with gentle kisses as he whispered sweet nothings of reassurance in your ear. He told you that he loved you just the way you were, that your body was perfect to him, and that he would love and cherish you no matter what. "i love you... don't ever think that you're not enough, you're more thatn enough"

you could feel the weight of your insecurities lift off your shoulders as he continued to caress and kiss your body, showering you with love and acceptance. And in that moment, you felt more beautiful and desired than ever before. sensing your newfound confidence, Suguru's hands began to roam over your body, caressing your thighs, moving his hands to your core, he was determined to show you just how much he loved and desired you, regardless of your breast size. He pulled you into a one deep passionate kiss, his lips hungrily seeking yours as his hands explored your body burning with lust. his touch was estatic, sending shivers down your spine as he worshipped your body with his hands and mouth, with each touch, each kiss, each whispered declaration of love, your insecurities quickly melted away. you were lost in a haze of pleasure and love, completely surrendering yourself to Suguru's touch,

as he entered your cunt, you could feel the intensity of his love and desire fueling every thrust. "holy- shiii s'guruu" you mewled rolling his name out off you pretty mouth as he showed you just how much he loved and, leaving you breathless and completely satisfied.

and as you both lay spent in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow of your lovemaking, you realized that Suguru's love for you was not based on your physical appearance. He loved you for everything that you were, and that was the most beautiful and empowering feeling of all. "i know you already know, but i love you" you whispered mischievously as you kissed his forehead, in which he responds with a witty chuckle pulling you into a bear hug.

➽──────────────────────❥

Satoru:

satoru had been spending more and more time at your apartment lately. ever since he insisted to join your bathing time, he seemed to always find an excuse to come over and spend time with you. and as much as you enjoyed his sweet company, you couldn't help but to feel self-conscious around him. you had always been too insecure about your body's appearance, specifically your flat chest. you had spent years hiding it away, wearing oversized clothes and avoiding situations where you would have to expose yourself.

but now that Satoru was around, you couldn't avoid it any longer. you knew he had seen you in your shower room, but you always made sure to cover yourself up as quickly as possible. However, today was different. You had been caught up in the moment, lost in the sensation of the warm water cascading over your body, when you heard the door to your shower room open. You quickly tried to cover yourself, but Satoru was already standing there, a smirk on his face.

"So this is where you've been hiding," he said, his eyes roaming over your body.

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment, trying to cover your chest with your arms. But Satoru's eyes never left you, and you couldn't help but feel exposed and vulnerable under his gaze.

"I-I'm sorry," you stuttered, not knowing what else to say.

Satoru chuckled, stepping closer to you. "there's no need to apologize. I like what I see."

you couldn't believe what you were hearing. you were used to being teased and mocked for your flat chest, but satoru seemed genuinely interested in you. before you could say anything else, he leaned down and captured your lips in a heated kiss.

his hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of your skin. you couldn't help but moan against his lips, melting into his touch. satoru seemed to know exactly what he was doing, his hands finding all your sensitive spots and driving you crazy with desire.

he broke the kiss, trailing his lips down your neck and collarbone, leaving a trail of hot kisses in his wake. You couldn't help but let out a soft gasp as he reached your chest, his fingers teasing your nipples to hardness.

He pulled back, looking at you with a devilish smirk. "you're so responsive. I can't wait to see how you react to my touch."

and with that, he dropped to his knees, his mouth latching onto your nipple. The sensation was overwhelming, sending shivers down your spine. you couldn't hold back your moans any longer, your hands tangling in satoru's wet hair as the water runs down to your heated bodies, he sucked and licked at your chest, giving them the attention they deserve.

it wasn't until Satoru pulled back, a satisfied smirk on his face, that you realized he had seen your flat chest. you braced yourself for the teasing and mocking, but to your surprise, Satoru merely leaned in and whispered in your ear, "You're perfect just the way you are."

and with that, he stood up and pulled you in for a passionate kiss, his hands roaming over your body once again. You felt a surge of confidence wash over you, feeling desired and wanted for the first time in a long time.

satoru led you to your bedroom, and the two of you fell on your bed in a tangle of limbs and passion. He didn't hold back, showing you just how much he desired you. he whispered dirty words in your ear, "good, fucking girl" he murmurs, his fingers finding all your sensitive spots and driving you crazy with pleasure.

you had never felt so much pleasure, satoru was dominant and in control, yet he made sure to worship every inch of your body, making you feel like the most beautiful person in the world rather the most perfect person in the whole entire universe.

as you both reached the peak of pleasure, satoru held you close, his lips pressed against your forehead. And in that moment, you knew that he accepted you for who you were, flaws and all. And that was all that mattered.

"goodness, your tits drives me crazy, girl!" he says plopping his body to your side catching his uneven breath.

a/n: i enjoyed writing this, cause as a woman with a flat ass chest...this is just mwaa! this is also self indulgent :p

tags: @lillywillypeepiepopilly

(if you want to get tagged just comment down below!)

#haruchi-slit #jjk #jjk smut #haruchi slit #jjk headcanons #smut #jjk polls #jjk smau #ryomen sukuna x reader #suguru smut #sukuna ryomen #ryomen sukuna smut #suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen suguru #nanami kento #nanami x you #nanami smut #toji x you #jjk toji #toji fushiguro #toji smut #gojou satoru x reader #satoru smut #satoru x reader #gojo satoru #all my pretty ladies with a flat chest please rise up!

[ktgoodmorning]

You'll be okay

Alexia Putellas x reader

Part 4 to that awkward smile

You struggle with your concussion recovery but Alexia's there to help you.

A short little one to finish up this series!

I Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I

Masterlist

The morning after your concussion, you were woken up by the intense pounding in your head, just as bad as it was when you first went down on the pitch. The pain meds given to you by the physios had apparently worn off and now it was catching up with you. You instinctively had buried your face in your pillow as if it could make it all better, letting out a whiny sob that you had fought so hard to hold in. Your girlfriend was a light sleeper and was always even worse after a game day, that combined with your injury, had her barely sleeping at all that night, instantly awake as soon as you made a sound. 

You didn’t notice her wake up until you felt her hand gently running up and down your back as you cried into your pillow. Of course the crying only increased your pain but at this point you couldn’t stop. “Amor, I’ve got you, okay? You’ll be alright.” Her voice was rough from sleep, normally something that would leave you instantly distracted from whatever was going on in your mind, but not able to overcome the pain you were currently feeling, causing you to cry even harder. 

Alexia must have realized that your sudden increase in pain was due to your medication wearing off, as she quickly tried to get up to get you another dose, only being stopped by your tight grip on her t-shirt. “Don’t go, I need you.” It broke her heart to hear the way you cried for her, showing a side of you that she hadn’t seen for many years. 

“I’m just going to get you some more pain meds, I’ll be right back, I promise. I really think it’ll help, okay?” You didn’t really respond, just lightening the hold you had on her shirt so that she could get up while you continued to sob hard in complete agony. 

It felt like ages even though it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes until your girlfriend returned to your side, water bottle in one hand, medication bottle in the other. At this point you had only spiraled further, gasping for breath as you continued to make yourself feel worse and worse. Alexia knew you were struggling but had no idea how bad it was until she saw you now, somehow even more worked up than when she left you just a few minutes before. “Hey, hey, it’s me. You’re okay, you’re gonna be just fine.” She pulled you over so your head was laying on her lap, allowing her to run her fingers through your hair and try to calm you down. “See if you can take a deep breath for me, I’ve got you now.” 

“I- I can’t-” You continued to gasp for breath, only freaking yourself out more and causing you to start shaking your head quickly, as if you could almost will it all to go away. 

“Hey, don’t do that you’ll hurt yourself, amor. It’s okay, it’s okay, just look at me.” You finally opened your eyes, the first attempt you had made at calming down. “There you go, you’re doing so good. See if you can breathe with me.” The blonde held eye contact with you, taking exaggerated deep breaths in hopes that you would follow her. Her one hand remained on the side of your face, gently stroking it with her thumb, while her other hand laced her fingers with yours, letting you squeeze it as hard as you wanted to help cope with the pain. 

After a few minutes, your breathing had slowed significantly, returning to quiet cries. The second you had slightly calmed, Alexia helped you sit up so you could take your meds, trying to get them in your system as soon as possible. She had never seen you so broken before, and it had left her unsure of just how to help you, especially as she watched you continue to cry, completely helpless. “How can I help you, amor?” Her voice was much softer than you had heard from her before, filled with uncertainty once again. 

“Can you just hold me please and tell me it’ll be okay?” Your girlfriend immediately opened her arms to allow you to collapse into her chest as you still continued to cry, breaking her heart even further over your reaction. 

“You’ll be okay, mi amor. Your head will start feeling better any minute now when your meds kick in. The doctors said, this is the worst of it, remember? It’ll only get better from here, and I’m not going anywhere, I’ve got you.” She rocked you slightly, just saying anything she could think of to make you feel better. 

“It hurts, Ale.” You whimpered into her shoulder yet again as she held you tightly. 

“I know, amor, I know. But it’ll get better, you’ll be okay. Let’s see if you can fall back asleep for a while, I think it’ll help.” You gave her a slight nod, but started to climb off her lap and back to your side of the bed, causing Alexia to scrunch up her eyebrows in confusion. “What are you-” 

“Ale, I woke you up. I know you’d rather get up and make some breakfast instead of laying in bed all day, you don’t have to stay here with me.” She just shook her head at you, while she pulled you back into her arms. 

“It’s okay baby, I couldn’t sleep anyways. You know I barely sleep after games, so do you really think I could sleep knowing you were concussed next to me?” You remained silent, unsure of if you believed her or if she was just being nice to take care of you, but of course she saw straight through your silence. “Sleep. I’ll keep you safe, I’ll be right here. If I fall asleep you can wake me up whenever you want, even if you don’t have a reason to.”

You finally allowed yourself to get comfortable once again in her arms, knowing there was no way she’d take no for an answer. As you fell back to sleep, you could’ve sworn you heard her mutter a “te amo” just before you drifted off.

Last one of this series! Would love to hear any feedback or requests for what you'd like to see next!

Masterlist

#barcelona femeni #woso imagines #barca femeni #fcb femini #woso one shot #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #espwnt x reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine #alexia x reader #wosoreading24/7 #wosoreadingalexia #espwnt #woso fanfics

[moon-rivr]

so real

part three of congratulations series masterlist

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: more angst 👹👹, depressive thoughts, use of a vape, drug addiction (rapture)

synopsis: miguel’s boss, tyler stone, offers him an.. alternative route to deal with his grief

author’s note: CAN I TALK MY SHIT AGAIN 🗣️‼️ anyways i’m sure you all knew by now but none of this is 100% canon :3

word count: 6.3k

Church bells echoed through his head time and time again, the relentless sound practically playing on cassette in his head. The sound was accompanied by the sounds of Tempest's screaming, screams of anger and fear combined. Screams that would engrave themselves into his very being, reminding him of his failures.  Why didn't you save me? I trusted you!

He patted the spot where you'd laid to him next to him, finding it empty. That was enough to wake him up from his restless slumber. He scrambled up to his feet, his mouth open to call out for you but nothing came out. All that was running through his head was the worst possible outcome, of finding you seriously injured or possibly even unconscious. The only thing he could do was listen as you called out to him: Miguel. Miguel. Miguel.

"Miguel."

"Miguel," his eyes snapped up open, realizing that was just another dream. He looked down to see that you were laying down next to him, your face grimacing as you wiggled. Oh shock. He'd clung on to you too tightly, practically almost squeezing you against his body. His grip immediately loosened, your body immediately relaxing. The loss of contact was evident even if you'd only moved a couple inches away from him.

His very being craved to be next to you, as selfish as it was. Your comfort was the only thing that he needed now, more than the very oxygen he inhaled.

"I'm sorry about that," he muttered, his voice hoarse from sleep and from all the crying he'd done just a couple hours prior. "It's okay, just go to sleep," you mumbled groggily, still half asleep. You rubbed your eyes, looking over your shoulder at him through half lidded eyes. You'd never seen him look so.. miserable. And yet, you had no idea who he couldn't save. You had no idea how to help, all that you could really do in this position was stay where you were and offer him your presence.

Sleep did not come back to him after that, despite how comfortable your body felt next to him. Every time he shut his eyes, the image of Tempest's rotting corpse came to the forefront of his mind. How no matter how hard he'd tried, he had nothing to account for that in the end. All that he had to account for the amount of effort that he'd put in was the amount of guilt within himself, the amount of blame that he placed upon himself for not doing more. Even if the rational part of his brain tried to convince him that he did the most he could.

He looked over at you, entranced by the small fall and rise of your chest as you slept comfortably next to him. The way your mouth slightly parted to let out a couple snores. Silently admiring all the little things he took for granted in the few times that he had you in his bed. Probably would be the last time that he got to see you in such a vulnerable position. "I love you too, chiquita. It's always been you," he whispered, kissing the top of your head before closing his eyes once more.

He was tempted to pull you back into his chest once he saw you stirring awake, a yawn escaping from your lips. "Morning," he spoke up as he saw you get up from the couch, stretching your arms out. You looked restless, probably from the uncomfortable position you'd been forced in. "Morning," you didn't even bother looking back at him, going over to the kitchen to get started on making a fresh pot of coffee.

Miguel leaned against your kitchen counter, his attention solely focused on every single one of your movements. The coffee pod that you'd chosen to put in the machine- a vanilla espresso. The amount of sugars and creamers that you'd set down on the counter. The slight curve of your body as you leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. The way that you tried to avoid his not so subtle staring, your eyes flickering to all the small surfaces around.

"Why'd you come to me last night?" you decided to bite the bullet and ask the question that'd been rummaging through your brain all night long. For claiming to have nothing 'serious' with you, he was sure comfortable coming to your apartment at wee hours of the night. Not that you discouraged that activity by any means, though. Maybe you were more responsible than you would've liked to admit.

"Because I needed you."

"You can't do this to me. Treat me as if I'm nothing to you and then seek me out when you're at your lowest."

"I never treated you as if you were nothing to me."

"And yet, we were nothing serious? Or are you going to deny saying that?" You were expecting for him to have some kind of comeback to that, but he stared down at his coffee like it was single-handedly the most interesting thing in the world. The silence almost suffocating, you could almost see the gears turning in that big head of his.

"Look I don't know what happened but serio-"

"Tempest.. passed away last night and I couldn't save her. No matter how much I tried to."

Now that had stunned you into staying quiet, an apology at the tip of your tongue. For what, exactly? For making assumptions or to offer your condolences? Both, most likely. But before you even got the chance to open your mouth, he was already speaking again. "The engagement was a farce. She needed access to insurance and she only managed to get that through being with me."

"And you felt as though you couldn't be honest with me? I know that we've slept together and I don't know about you, but I've spent longer than that loving you," you told him, setting your coffee mug down on the kitchen counter. A stupid mug that he'd gotten for you, World's Best Girlfriend Situationship.

"Look Miguel, I get that you're going through a lot but you can't expect for me to be here only when you want me to be around. I think I deserve more than that by this point."

You were so right. The words were at the tip of his tongue, but how could he say that when he'd treated you just the way you described ever since you came back? Even if he said so, he knew that his words wouldn't be enough to convince you otherwise. He stared at you in silently, his face conveying the pain that he wouldn't dare to voice out loud. Don't fall for it. Don't. As much as you wanted to comfort him, as much as a part of you couldn't bear to see him so upset, you needed to put your own needs above his own for once.

"Finish up your coffee and grab your clothes from the drier. I'll be here when you're ready to treat me like I mean something to you, but up until that point, I don't want to see you."

Miguel tried to prolong the couple sips of coffee he had, taking a few drops every two minutes. Anything that would give him the excuse to be around you longer than he should've. "I'm sorry," he spoke up, watching as you paused in cleaning your mug before resuming. "What's the point of saying sorry if you haven't done anything to change it yet?" your words came out so hushed, his ears practically perking up. If you'd noticed that he wasn't finishing up his coffee, you hadn't bothered to say anything just yet.

Miguel lost track of how many times he'd passed the sponge by the mug, lost in his own thought. How is it possible that he lost two of the people he cared about in less than 24 hours? He could practically see his own reflection in the mug by the time he decided to put the sponge down, rinsing the suds away. He walked over to the laundry room, grabbing his clothes before making his way out of your apartment. "Bye," his words were barely audible, unable to look at you or talk to you after how the last exchange had gone.

This time around, Miguel drove with extreme caution. Almost as a way to overcompensate for his rash behavior last night. He didn't even bother slamming his hand against the wheel when a car merged onto his lane without using their turn signal. At least he didn't have to go into work until Monday, leaving him enough time to seep into his self loathing. And to think about the fact that despite the fact he'd dreamed about the day you'd move back to Nueva York to be with you, it was starting to become more and more unattainable.

He was tempted on calling out on work when Monday rolled around, saying that he needed some time to grieve. But all that he'd been doing at home was look up at the ceiling and think about different alternatives. Alternatives where he wasn't a screw up. Alternatives where his efforts actually counted towards something, where he was actually saving people. A different alternative where you didn't hate him, where he was less of an idiot to prove to you just how much you actually meant to him.

Sleep didn't come to him that easily either. He'd spend hours counting sheep and listening to white noise only to find himself groaning into his pillow. Every position proving to be futile in his restless nights, the image of seeing Tempest in that hospital practically tattooed at the back of his eyelids every time he closed them. His eyes burned from how long he’d kept them open, his head pounding as it urged for him to take at least a nap. Not that he would listen.

Awake or not, his life was starting to become a continuous torment. Every day was the same miserable cycle, though he wasn't making any effort to change it either. Maybe he deserved to feel the way he did right now. It's what he told himself anytime that he was starting to feel the numbness get overwhelming. That he didn't deserve to have some relief from this grief. The days blurred onto one another to the point where he couldn't tell the distinction between them until he looked down at his phone to check the date.

Get up. Drink coffee. Eat two bites of an overpriced sandwich he'd buy at Alchemax. Work. Close eyes. Repeat until exhaustion.

Upon grabbing a fresh lab coat from his closet, he caught a glimpse of the suit he was supposed to wear for the wedding. The wedding ceremony that would've happened tomorrow. Instead, it would now be his funeral suit. He pushed the suit to the back of his closet, pulling his dress shirts over it to conceal the fact. Just looking at it had proved to be an eyesore. He grabbed the first pair of socks that he found, not even bothering to check that they were the same pair before putting his shoes on. Spoiler alert: One was bright red and the other one was a dull purple.

He ran a hand through his messy hair, the action doing completely nothing to aid the bird's nest in his hair. Hairs stuck out from every end and there had even accumulated a gloop of dry hair gel on his scalp. He was a mess in every sense of the word. If that was even a strong enough word to describe his current state. He wasn't even sure when he bothered to take more than a five minute shower, maybe a week ago? Though he told himself that a couple days ago so he wasn't truly sure how much time had really passed.

"Puta madre," he grumbled, a couple of the comb's teeth falling from the sheer force that he'd exuded into just trying to run it through a couple strands. Miguel tugged on the comb with a bit more force, though it wouldn't go through no matter how much he wanted it to. He set down the black comb, rummaging through his cabinets to find a new one. He'd be lying if he said that the sight of seeing Tempest's stuff mixed in with his didn't make a couple tears run down his cheeks. From the halfway finished hair products to the new perfume that she was wanting to try out.

After breaking a couple more brushes, Miguel decided to give up on the effort to fix up his appearance. Not that he even needed to put that much effort, much of the interns didn't even bother to put on deodorant before they showed up. He'd completely forgotten about the work meeting that was set up for today, stepping into the room about ten minutes later. The attention of the room went to him immediately, the loud slam of the door behind him doing nothing to aid the situation. He muttered a half ass sorry before going to sit down.

Gloved fingers snapped in front of him, disrupting whatever little train of thought was coursing through his head. Miguel couldn't even bother to hide the irritation in his face as he turned to look at Aaron, raising his eyebrows as he waited for the shorter man to speak. He was almost tempted to laugh at the way that Aaron had to huff out his chest to put on an intimidating facade. Trying so very hard to present the small bit of authority that Tyler Stone had placed upon him. And failing, truthfully.

"Get your head out your ass and listen closely. Mr. Stone can't handle any mistakes in this project," Aaron's voice seemed so far away, so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Nothing that he did mattered, anyways. He couldn't keep the girl. He couldn't save anyone. Aaron's voice faded out into a low hum, a garble of technical nonsense. How the project at hand could put human lives at stake if done incorrectly and of how it could improve lives if it actually worked. Nonsense he's heard time and time again.

He didn't even realize he was dozing off, his body slumped against the rolling chair behind him. "Wake the hell up or you're fired in the next five seconds! Mr. Stone requested to see you in his office," that same damn voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard broke him out of his slumber, a large palm slamming on the desk in front of him. Miguel grumbled as he rubbed his eyes, willing himself to wake up before getting up from his chair. He ignored the small snickers that followed after he departed the room.

Miguel took the opportunity to step into one of the bathrooms, taking the opportunity to look over himself before he appeared in front of Mr. Stone. He didn't need to receive a lecture on unprofessionalism on top of the lecture he was probably going to receive already. Not that he cared all that much, but he wasn't sure just how much more yelling he could take with the steady pounding in his head. Rumors floated around people getting fired for even looking at Mr. Stone in a way that they shouldn't have, his ruling over the company an iron fist.

He splashed some cold water on his face, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the last remnants of sleep that lingered behind. The water did nothing to aid with the redness in his eyes, the sleep deprivation apparent to anyone who would spare a second glance. Luckily enough for him, Mr. Stone couldn't care less if his mental health was deteriorating. He grabbed a bottle of eye drops from his coat pocket, squirting some of the substance into his eyes before making his way over to Mr. Stone's office.

Miguel brought his hand up to the large wooden door, knocking on it twice. He looked up to see the camera hanging above the door now pointed towards his direction, the stare from it lasting for a couple seconds than what was necessary. A loud buzz came through the large doors before they opened to reveal the space that was Mr. Stone's office. If it could even called that. While interns were forced to work downstairs in cubicles with a half-functioning air conditioner, Mr. Stone had a tiger rug placed in the center of the room.

Miguel almost felt bad for getting the floor dirty, his eyes shifting to what else the office had to offer. Large windows that went from the top of the wall down to the floor, presenting a perfect view of the Nueva York skyline. The sunlight coming through the windows reflected onto the gold podiums that he had set up, the sight almost painful to look at. Mr. Stone turned around in the rolling chair he was on in a villainous fashion. Miguel was almost surprised that he didn't have a white cat on his lap to finish up the touch.

"O'Hara, right?" While Aaron tried so hard to exude power he didn't have, all Mr. Stone had to do was speak. He could almost feel the temperature drop a couple degrees from the sheer coldness of his voice. "That's me, sir. I heard you wanted to see me," Miguel spoke up, clearing his throat. He stood at a distance, not making the slightest attempt to move closer unless Mr. Stone asked for him to do so. Mr. Stone stayed quiet for a couple seconds, analyzing him carefully from head to toe before speaking,

"We're testing out a new drug at the facility. It's completely safe for consumption and I believe it's what you need to get over this grieving period."

"Excuse me?" It was the first time that Miguel had heard of an employer actually promoting the usage of drugs, though it was no secret that a majority of Wall Street in Nueva York was high off cocaine just to get through business meetings. He expected Mr. Stone to tell him that it was a test, to see if he would take the bait but all he got in return was more silence from the man. Suddenly, he stood up and dusted off his suit. A suit that probably cost more than his apartment building if he had to guess. "Please, follow me. I have something to show you."

Tyler unlocked a steel door with his ID badge, the temperature inside the room enough to make Miguel shiver underneath the thin white lab coat he had on. He wanted to turn around, tell Tyler that he wasn't interested in this anymore but a green vial was placed in the palm of his hand. "Look, I'm not telling you that you need to take it but just know that we have the resources here to help you," Tyler really was trying to amp up this caring persona up to the max with his soft way of talking.

"Just think about it, okay? You have full access to this center of the facility from now on in case you do end up taking it," Tyler finished up as the two of them stepped out of the room, leaving Miguel with a decision to make. A decision that had he been in the right state of mind wouldn't even be up for debate at all. And yet, here he was actually considering going through with what Mr. Stone had told him. By the time that Miguel came back to the conference office, he found the room void of anything other than the things he left behind. He stuffed the vial deep into his pocket before going to pick up his things.

Miguel held the vial between his thumb and pointer finger, analyzing what he could about the drug. From what he could discern from the bottle, the drug didn't seem too different from over the counter pain prescriptions. But he's seen things over the months, seen the way that Alchemax deliberately failed to mention certain ingredients just to get FDA approval. The way that they put human safety at the bottom of their priority list, funding for research at the top. Of the experiments locked away in the basement begging for some kind of mercy, for the chemicals to stop making every breath impossible.

And yet, with that doubt in his mind, he injected the drug into the first vein that he could find on his arm. The pounding in his head dissipated to a low hum, the pressure from his body relieved. He felt the best he had in days, the exhaustion from his body was something of the past. He felt like he was on top of the world, like he was able to run a marathon and win first place. Everything seemed much easier now, making him even wonder what he was even depressed about. There was truly nothing else that could replicate the blissful feeling inside of him.

Funny to think about how he'd gotten on his brother for having a vape a few years back. A 'Very Juicy Mango Pod' that was on the market for lasting longer than normal vapes. Half the school had been indulging in those substances just to get through the day, something that he hadn't dabbled in and quite frankly would never dabble in. He hated that feeling, the feeling of having no control over his body. Of only being susceptible to that temporary euphoria. The feeling of only having relief with one hit of those things.

"You know that stuff's gonna fuck up your lungs, right?" His tone was condescending, only because he truly did care about Gabriel. He wafted the thick smoke blown at his face, his eyes narrowing slightly upon seeing the stupid grin on Gabriel's face. "That's just a rumor, hermanito. You can't really say anything until you try it out," Gabriel retorted, dangling the small bar in front of him. Miguel took the vape from his hands after what seemed to the forth dangle, hesitantly bringing it to his lips. He inhaled, the smoke traveling down to his lungs immediately.

He coughed, his body immediately rejecting the substance. How anyone liked that stuff was beyond him. He practically tossed it back to Gabriel, the touch of the bar almost enough to disgust him. "Just.. don't get hooked on that stuff, I care about you too much to lose you," Miguel told Gabriel, sitting down next to him. It was one of the couple times where he expressed love for his brother verbally rather than letting his actions do the talking. "I know and I won't, I promise," Gabriel's voice was full of determination, an arm slung around Miguel's shoulders.

The next morning when he woke up to go to school, he found Gabriel's small stash of pods and bars tossed in the depths of trash can. Some of which he'd barely bought at an outrageously high price from a plug. Though when Miguel had asked him about it, Gabriel simply shrugged it off like it was nothing. "I don't want to give you reasons to worry about me. You do that enough as it is," Gabriel assured him, letting him know that he'd done him a favor. "I know it was hard but thank you," Miguel told him, the two going out for lunch after school that day.

The low hit him harder than he could've expected. It hit him when he was at home, watching the news on TV. The reporter was babbling about some robbery that happened on 54th Avenue, but all he could think about was when he would be able to get his next fix of the damned drug. His mouth practically salivated at the idea of having it in his system once more. Within that need however, there also resided a deep feeling of guilt. A guilt that was clawing him from the inside out, yelling at him to stop what he was doing. That Tempest, his mother, Gabriel, and you would all be disappointed in what he was doing.

"Shut up, shut up!" He yelled at nothing in particular, tossing his remote control at the TV with more force than necessary. The TV changed into an array of colors before shifting into black and white, the remote almost cracking the screen upon further inspection. He paced around his living room floor, the pounding in his heart difficult to ignore. Sweat dripped down from his forehead despite the fact that he turned the AC to the lowest he could without freezing to death, his body begging for just one more hit. Just one.

The urge to have more of that small green vial overwhelmed every sense of his being. Just five minutes without the drug made him feel like he was drowning. He thought he felt pathetic before but this was a new low even for him. Sitting down on his bathroom floor, injecting a fresh vial of Rapture just so he wouldn't feel like he was completely losing his mind. It didn't even feel pleasurable as it did the first time, but it did help with bringing back his body to stable levels. It helped him to forget the small voice in his head that was screaming at him to be rational.

The red beaming light from the camera placed on the steel ceilings of the laboratory seemed to mock him every time that he approached the storage room. Despite how many cameras were placed across the laboratory, he couldn't help but feel that this one was zeroing in on every movement he made. On every new vial that he grabbed. Almost as if Mr. Stone was checking up on him, checking to see if he fell for his carefully woven trap. And he did. His pockets were stuffed full of vials, trying to assure that he wouldn't have to go without them.

He was starting to become a brainless zombie. Coming into work with the illusion that he'd be able sneak in a couple vials of Rapture during his lunch break without capturing anyone's attention. Though, rumors had been starting to circulate. Hushed whispers about how the one with the most promise at Alchemax was now a drug addicted fiend. Not that anyone would ever said that to say his face, the whispers died down every time he was in close proximity.

“Hey, have you talked to Miguel recently? He hasn’t been answering my calls and that’s just not like him, y’know?” Gabriel called to ask you around three in the morning. Clearly the brothers had a taste for waking you up at the ass crack of dawn. “No, I haven’t. I haven’t talked to him in like three weeks, I wanna say. Let me know if you hear from him though,” you responded, rubbing your eyes as you tried to stay awake for Gabriel’s sake. “I will, thank you. And please, don’t give up on him. I know he’s an idiot but his heart’s in the right place.”

You looked down at Miguel’s contact information, wondering if you should call him. You did tell him to leave you alone if he wasn’t willing to prove himself to you. And if he hasn’t answered his own brother’s phone calls, then why should he answer yours? After letting the thought seep in, you decided to dial his number. You were hoping for some kind of miracle, that you’d be the one he would make an exception for. “Please leave your message after the beep. BEEP!” Was the only response you received though.

“Hey, I know I said I wasn’t going to talk to you but please call me or Gabriel. Just let us know you’re alive, please. He’s really worried about you. Okay, well I hope you’re taking care of yourself. Bye.”

Calls from Gabriel went unanswered along with the thousand voice messages that he'd left, asking him how he was and expressing concern for him. "Llámame cabron, que estoy preocupado por ti.” I've asked around and no one's heard from you in a couple days. For your sake, I hope you're not dead in a ditch," was what the last message had transcribed to, Gabriel's voice a pitch higher. Usually, Miguel wouldn't have let his brother worry this much about him but he couldn't feign being sober to save his life.

He couldn't take it anymore. The urge that he had to feel that high, even for a couple seconds only to end up feeling like complete crap after he'd taken it. The lows were what got him to get up and inject that poison into his system, the thoughts in his head too much to bear. If he thought that it was bad before the drugs, it was much more worse now. The images of Tempest were much more vivid now, he could practically feel her cold fingers on his skin as she pleaded him for something. He couldn't make out what that something was, it was just an endless string of 'please.'

He was taking the drug more so out of obligation. His body goes cold after a few minutes of sobriety, trembling as his grip on reality starts to waver. The drug offered him shorter periods of relief with every new vial that he inserted into his body, but it offered him some kind of relief. Even if it was just fifteen minutes of letting him forget about the misery that his life was. It wasn't until he looked at his reflection in the mirror that he realized how truly screwed he was, how much he'd been disregarding his own health.

Miguel could hardly recognize the man staring back at him in the mirror. He let out a small gasp when he stuck his hand out, his reflection meeting him halfway. Was this what he had become? His eyes lacked any signs of energy, dark circles ringing underneath. He wasn't even sure when was the last time he managed to sleep more than twenty minutes at a time. His stubble was in patches, a couple splotches of red skin from the scratching he had been doing. He couldn't take looking at this stranger anymore. He punched the mirror out of fury, the pieces shattering below him.

What haunted him the most about looking down at those pieces is that he still saw the reflection of that stranger looking back at him.

After doing some extensive research on all the chemicals that Rapture contained, he came to a conclusion that he already knew at the back of his head. There was no way to break the addiction, not without death involved at least. The drug was unlike any others that he'd seen, the chemical components much higher than some of the hardcore drugs on the market. It changed his genetic makeup to the point where he needed the drug as much as he needed oxygen to breathe. Even slow withdrawals from the drug was a guaranteed death. Every treatment was futile against said drug.

Miguel didn't even want to think about what Mr. Stone was capable of doing if he caught whiff that he was trying to break loose from the viscous cycle he was in. He seemed so eager to get Miguel to take the drug, surely he must've known what effects the drug would take on his body. All the research that he did was on a private network in the safety of his apartment, where he could keep the information safe. He'd come up with one final conclusion, that he needed to change his genetic component back to what it was before getting hooked on Rapture.

Maybe he shouldn't have been so cocky in his own abilities. He really should've done more research on what the dangers of altering his DNA would be. Though, anything would be a relief from the constant nagging in his head for more. More. More. More. The straps on the side of the capsule he was standing in secured him into place, a low hum from the machine next to him indicating that it was ready to start. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, all while hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Though, anything would be better than what he was going through right now.

Aaron truly didn't expect anyone else to be at the lab at this hour, even the workaholics at the lab had their limits. He was there to pick up a couple files that he needed for one of the reports Mr. Stone had asked for, but how could he possibly miss out on this opportunity that just presented to him so perfectly? Even through the green rays of the machine, he could see Miguel O'Hara standing there in his full glory. Attempting not to grimace from the burning sensation coursing through his very veins. Oh, how'd he dreamed of this moment.

All the times Miguel poked fun at him, the times that he'd belittled his work, and all the times that he'd managed to outshine him were the perfect motivation for Aaron to code spider DNA into the system. See how he likes that. The studies on animal DNA altering humans wasn't promising, a 99.999% mortality rate as of yet. He didn't care. Nobody would find out about what he'd done, he knew Mr. Stone would remove all the security footage if it came to that point. He amped up the machine to the max, staring at the capsule eagerly.

Agonizing screams followed soon after Aaron departed from the scene, a traitorous laugh escaping from his throat upon realizing what he'd done. "AARON!" Miguel's yells echoed into the steel hallways, bouncing off the walls though Aaron was less the wiser. It was truthfully the best melody that Aaron had heard in his life, hearing one of the men he hated the most cry out for help without actually receiving any aid. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Miguel's voice was raw from the screaming he'd been doing. The machine beeped loudly, indicating that the genetic splicing was now finished.

Miguel stepped out of the chamber, wobbling and stumbling through the laboratory floor before touching what he assumed was a table. He gripped the edges of the table, blinking rapidly to ease the blurriness that clouded his vision. Everything felt odd. His body didn't feel like it belonged to him, it felt like it belonged to some monster. Long claws protruded from his fingers, scratching the table the harder he tried to hold onto. He ran his tongue through his teeth, letting out a small groan upon feeling a sharp sensation on the side.

Fangs..? No, he must be daydreaming. Some after effect of long term exposure to Rapture. And yet, no matter how hard he tried to wake up from this torment, he remained still. Footsteps pattered in the hallways, a reminder that someone else had been witness to this situation. Miguel ran faster than he was ever able to, tackling Aaron onto the ground in a matter of mere seconds. Miguel gripped Aaron's arms above his head, paying no attention to the sound of ripping flesh. All that Miguel knew is that he needed answers and he needed them now.

"What the hell did you put in me?!" The accusation didn't come out the way he expected it to, a lisp in his words. Aaron winced in pain from the prickles that Miguel was inducing with his claws, a self satisfied smirk on his face at seeing what he'd managed to reduce the man to nonetheless. "ANSWER ME!" Miguel's voice boomed through the empty hallways, echoing throughout the dead of night. He swore that the vein throbbing in his forehead was about to pop the second that he saw Aaron laughing.

Miguel tossed Aaron to the side without any regard to where he landed, going back to the lab to look for any hints of what Aaron had coded into the system. He went back to the previous code, seeing that some form of spider DNA had been entered into the system. He shouldn't even be alive right now. Not when all the other people who'd gone through this procedure morphed into a version of the creature before ultimately exploding. His head was spinning with the realization, not even bothering to notice the fact that he didn't need the drug anymore.

He looked down at his phone, his finger hovering above your contact name as he debated on whether or not he should call you. Before he got the chance to make a decision though, police sirens blared loudly out of the building. The sound seemed to rattle his head, his ears all too sensitive to the sound. Miguel got down on his knees, pressing his hands to his ears in hopes that it would alleviate with the pain. It did not. All he could do was hope that the sound would soon go away while he curled up into a ball.

"NYPD! Come outside with your hands up!" A man's voice boomed through a loudspeaker. Miguel looked around, trying to find a way out of the facility. He could hear the boot stomps from the first floor, every possible exit blockaded by the police. So he did the most logical thing he could think of. He jumped out of the window and swung? Wait, what? Sure enough, he looked down at his wrists to see a small pocket shooting out white webs. Though, he really should've been paying more attention to the sights in front of him.

THUMP

He crashed face first into a building, a measly web falling from his wrist next to him.

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[jongseongsnudes]

kiss me (part three)

bff/fwb!jake. 1.4k words. ✨️smut✨️ + angst ft. lee heeseung. (part one) (part two)

“you’re so hot,” you hear him mumble into the kiss, his lips barely leaving yours as he does. his hands are everywhere, your waist, your ass, your thighs. the man was desperate for you and to be fair, you wanted him too. 

what started as a few flirty kisses with heeseung and a childish way to show jake that you in fact did not need him, turned into a full fledged heated make out session in the back of the cab, all the way into your apartment. it was the last thing you wanted yet all you wanted at the same time. someone to distract you from a particular someone else.

you were too occupied with heeseung’s lips to notice the familiar pair of men’s shoes by your door once you enter your home, ones that were surely not there when you left.

jake sim was in your apartment.

“hey- h- heeseung,” you manage to get his attention, your hand now gently pushing against his chest, “i um- i remember i had some plans tonight actually... rain check?”

you can see the disappointment wash over his face for a split second before smiling again, an understanding smile. and this was one of the many things you’ve always liked about him lee heeseung. that he respected you.

“yeah of course love,” he says while rubbing your lower back, “you need me to drop you off anywhere? it’s getting pretty late.”

“no my friend will pick me up. sorry hee, another time?”

“definitely,” he leans in to kiss you, short and sweet, “be careful okay.”

you begin to second guess your decision to abruptly kick heeseung out but the last thing you wanted was to be in the middle of a confrontation between the two best friends right now. besides, you needed to deal with jake. the thought of him currently somewhere in your apartment got you mad, especially after the fight you had earlier.

the house is quiet, the only light source coming from your living room’s television screen, exactly where you expected him to be with a bottle of alcohol in his hand. you can feel your chest heave to the sight of a topless jake, it took almost everything in you not to pull your panties aside and climb on that lap.

the things you’d do for jake sim...

“seriously? you’re just going to break into my apartment?”

your words are left unanswered as the man continues watching the screen ahead as if you weren’t standing right in front of him.

“whatever then. at least close the door on your way out when you get bored.”

you leave him be, no longer wanting to deal with the toxic situation that shouldn’t have been a situation in the first place. 

bits and pieces of your clothing and accessories are scattered behind as you make it to the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to sink into a warm bath and relax for the night. but of course the world always seems to have other plans for you.

“didn’t think you had it in you.”

sigh.

you don’t bother turning around to his newly arrived presence at the bathroom doorway, instead opting to continue slipping out of your undergarments as if he wasn’t even there, “i don’t want to talk to you right now jake.”

“so you let heeseung put his tongue down your throat but can’t even talk to me?”

you were quick to whip around this time, a frown dawning your face at how ridiculous he was being. the audacity this man had to even speak to you that way, in your home after ignoring you just a moment before.

“excuse me?” you were on the brink of exploding now, your hand balled up and ready to throw him out if you had to, “you broke into my house for what? to say these things to me?”

“well i’m not wrong! why bother fucking with me then go straight to heeseung?” he was now right up against you, his much taller frame towering over yours, gradually cornering you in against the vanity, “he’s my fucking best friend!”

you’ve seen jake angry numerous times before but never have you seen him like this. he is evidently fuming with eyes so dark, even his breathing was ragged.

“so that’s your problem? so you’re saying that i can fuck anyone else besides your best friend? easy. i’m sure sunghoon or jay would be down if i was to call them right now.”

if jake was considered stubborn, well, you were even worse. between you and the man, you were the one who always got your way. to be fair he did have a soft spot for you and you’ve used this to your advantage... when necessary. 

the bathroom then goes eerily quiet, the two of you though still visibly angry, are now much calmer than before. the heavy tension that filled the air just a moment before was now slowly turning into a different kind of tension.

the one you always felt when you both wanted each other.

“i’m tired jake... please just go-”

he leans in without hesitation, kissing you hard and cutting off your words. he even cups your cheeks, angling your face up to him so he can deepen the kiss and you let him. by now you weren’t even fighting him anymore, your entire body melting right into his hold.

as always.

you did’t want to admit it but this kiss with jake sim was the one you’ve been yearning for all night, even when kissing someone else.

you were just crazy for him.

“it’s not them, it’s you...” he whispers, his voice barely audible as he pulls away slightly, “you’re my problem.”

“what- what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t want to see you with anyone else.”

before you could even respond, jake slowly moves down your body, his lips leaving behind a trail of soft kisses on your skin. you almost scream when he reaches your panties, the man’s mouth just hovering over it for a few moments. just to drive you insane.

“you’re perfect you know?” he coos, his hands now grasping onto your waist as yours grab onto the vanity for support.

“you say that sim... but then turn around and say the same to other girls...”

“they’re nothing baby. i’ve always wanted you.”

your breath hitches when he yanks your panties aside and lifts one of your legs over his shoulders, his lips immediately pressing onto your clit without warning, eager to have you. his wet tongue laps at your heat, tasting every part of you, causing your knees to almost buckle at the intense pleasure your whole body immediately feels from it.

you watch him through hooded eyes, the view of jake sim kneeling before you, one that always pushed you over the edge, that had you seeing white. that had you going completely feral.

but despite the moment, with his tongue deep in your folds and with your fingers knotted in his hair, you just couldn’t forget all that happened tonight.

what should’ve been a strictly no strings attached situation had become something it shouldn’t have. it all somehow spiralled out of control so quickly, like the flame in your heart that grew to the point of no return for the man.

and from what you’ve learned from romance movies your whole life... this was not going to end well. especially for you.

“ja- jake...” you barely manage to push him back by the shoulders, stopping the man from doing what those lips were literally born to do. he looks at you with concern as he stands to his feet, arms immediately holding your sides to pull you closer.

“what’s wrong baby?” 

you may regret this later but you knew it was the right thing to do... before you fall even further.

“i don’t want to do this anymore jake. lets... stop.”

end(????)

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#jongseongsnudes #enhypen #enhypen drabble #enhypen fic #enhypen fanfic #enhypen scenario #enhypen imagine #enhypen reaction #enhypen smut #enha #enhypen x reader #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jake #enhypen hard hours #enhypen scenarios #sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun smut #sim jaeyun fanfic #sim jaeyun fic #sim jaeyun scenario #sim jaeyun imagine #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jaeyun hard hours #jake sim smut #jake sim fanfic #jake sim fic #jake sim imagine #jake sim scenario #jake sim x reader #jake smut

[norrizzandpia]

hey, totally ok if it’s not ur vibe, but i’d love to see an oscar fic where he’s helping his girlfriend or a childhood best friend when she’s feeling a bit down.

i keep thinking about that man helping clean a depression room and telling his girl not to be embarrassed and he’s there to help and they get it sorted and he just holds her. makes sure she’s eaten and drank something.

even if it’s just a drabble, i’d really appreciate it :) need that kinda care in my life rn, even if it’s fictional.

I made this girlfriend because it just felt softer idk

To Be Loved Is To Be Seen (OP81)

Summary: Oscar knows his girlfriend well and it’s obvious to him when she starts breaking down. He’s happy to help or, more specifically, remind her how worth it she is.

Warnings: this one is HEAVY on the family trouble, depression, anxiety, VERY ANGSTY but def cutest HAPPY ENDING

Note: i didn’t know if you wanted reader to be in a rut or have a reason for it so i just made a reason

Y/n’s first few months of university were hard. Not only was it due to the new course load, but also because of her parents lack of interest when it came to her life. It had been a gradual shift, starting from her last two years in high school and only getting stronger as time went on. They had always been there, overbearing at times, but, now, they posted pictures of their trips around the world, failing to answer her calls and texts. She felt selfish for wanting her parents’ attention as much as she did, but it was hard to fight. There were situations she had never dealt with before, she wanted her mom’s wise words and father’s funny remarks to get through it all. But, she sat alone in the darkness of her room without the guidance counselor she usually could count on. It felt as if she wasn’t enough to keep them there anymore. It was heart wrenching and it stewed within her at such volumes, it became too much.

That’s when Oscar noticed. Her boyfriend had always been attentive, noticing small things about her that no one else did, but the second her smile didn’t reach her eyes and her text messages became less frequent, it was almost as if he was staring her down in anticipation of some sort of sign. He didn’t begin to realize it was related to her parents until he caught a glimpse of her phone when they were together, the screen open to her conversations with her mother and all of the recent texts going completely unanswered. He knew she had always had a rocky relationship with them, but she spoke about them with such respect, he knew it would’ve bothered her to feel so unimportant.

Knocking on her door, his hands clutched the bag of her favorite food he had got on his walk to her apartment. He had planned this evening out for weeks, not telling her about it in worry that she would slip into a facade put together with a fake smile that made his skin crawl.

She opened it, her body tense and tired in a ratty shirt and shorts, “Oscar? What are you doing here?”

It was as if he saw her front go up, her posture straightening and that haunting smile which told him all too well how much pain she was in. He smiled softly, “I thought we could spend the night together.”

She closed the door enough to only peek her head through, “Osc, I’m so sorry, but I can’t tonight. I’m so busy.”

He stayed put, “That’s okay. I can wait on your couch.”

“No, Osc,” She said firmly, her face turning in the light and exposing the dark bags under her eyes.

He stepped closer to her, putting his hand on the door and looking down at her with a look that made her feel loved, “Y/n, let me in. I know you’re going through it. Let me be with you.”

Her resolve cracked, her smile dropping for a second and water suddenly pooling in her eyes, “You don’t want to come in here.”

He leaned against the door and cupped her cheek, “It won’t make me love you any less.”

With a sigh, Y/n pushed the door open, beckoning the boy into her home. He knew what to expect, he knew what it was like to reach the place she was in. So, when he saw the piles of clothes, half-eaten food on the counter with old dishes in the sink, and her little accessories put in the wrong places, something she would never usually do, he wasn’t surprised. If anything, he was happy she had let him in, literally and figuratively.

She picked at her nails beside him, swaying on her feet as she analyzed his every move. Part of her was trying to ready herself for him to walk out the door, give up on her because of whatever stood before them, but he gently set the food on the floor and ushered her into his embrace. His cheek laid against the top of her head, nestled in her hair, as he tightened his grip around her body. She smelled his cologne and felt his sweatshirt which made him feel all the more warm. There was something about his presence, she would later learn it was how safe she felt, that made the turmoils of her mind quiet as she began to cry. Y/n had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry for people who clearly didn’t care, but as Oscar rubbed her back and whispered how much he loved her, she realized it was never going to work.

Her breaking down wet the material of his sweatshirt, but Oscar just held her tighter, whispering how it was going to be okay and this would all pass.

“You’re so worth it all, Y/n,” He whispered, pecking the top of her ear as he smoothed down her hair.

She clutched his back before Oscar was moving her hands under his hoodie to feel the bare of his skin. He knew she loved that. And she did. Y/n’s tears began to dissipate as he told her why he was there.

“I’m with you in this. You aren’t alone. I’m here for you and I always will be. This,” He gestured to the space around them, holding her face in his hands and forcing her eyes to meet his, “doesn’t scare me at all, love. What does scare me, though, is the attempts at eating on the counter. Have you been eating other than that?”

She shook her head, “I tried. It’s too hard. I’m not hungry ever anymore.”

He titled his head with a small frown, “Well, maybe your favorite food will help, yeah? We’ll sit together and eat. We can go as slow as you want, or as fast. All up to you, baby.”

He kissed her forehead lightly before guiding her to the living room, one of the less dirty places, and setting her down on the cushions. He set it all behind him, not wanting to overwhelm her with everything he got, and took out what he knew she would want first. There was a dull sparkle in her eyes when he handed it to her, his heart lifted. It hadn’t been there when he first arrived.

She opened it slowly, eyeing the food she once ravished in seconds, and taking a utensil to pick at it. He looked at her, waiting patiently for her to take a bite. When she did, however small, he did too. When she did again, he did too.

She stopped, “Why aren’t you eating faster?”

He smiled, “Because I’ll take a bite when you do. I don’t mind, Y/n. I told you I’m in this with you.”

Her eyes gloss over as they dart between him and the food before taking another bite, giggling a bit when Oscar takes one of his own dish. She eats, he does too and their eyes never leave each other, offering unspoken support.

When the plastic boxes are gone and empty, Oscar has glasses of water randomly appearing in his grip, offering them to his girlfriend who has found herself tangled in that soft blanket he got her last Christmas. Her cheeks are a soft pink from the warmth of it coupled with the candle he lit in the midst of their dinner and she smiles when the cool liquid flows down her throat. Oscar stands over her, hands in his pockets and wondering how anyone could possibly ignore her texts. He wants to take a picture of her, remind her parents of the beauty they have in their reach. But, he also knows that any text he sends to them wouldn’t be one he should send to his potential (very likely) in-laws. So, he stays quiet and looks at her with the love she deserves.

“Do you need anything else?” He asks, pushing the hair out of her face.

She shakes her head, “No, I’m good. What movie do you want to watch?”

He kisses her cheek, “It’s up to you. I won’t be watching.”

Her eyebrows knot together and she cocks her head, “Why not? Is this some random pickup line where you’re going to tell me how you’ll only be watching me?”

He laughs, his head back, as he walks toward her room, “No, but that’s a good one. I’ll keep that for later. You put on whatever you want, baby. I’ll be cleaning.”

She crawls to the corner of the couch, watching him begin to pick up her room, “Clean? What? Why?”

He stops, turning around to look at her through the door, “Because I want to help you feel better and I know your apartment is stressing you out. You shouldn’t have to worry, love. Just relax. I’ll be done in a few hours.”

Her mouth is agape as he moves throughout her room, putting things away as if he knows where everything goes. He does, apparently. And when the shock of it wears off, a smile cements itself on her face as she turns on a random movie. She enjoys the soft humming of Oscar in the other room, answering his occasional question about the plot of the movie she’s watching. When he moves to the kitchen, out in the open and available to see what’s on the screen, Y/n falls asleep to the picture of her boyfriend doing her dishes and taking out her trash. Falling asleep with a warm heart mended by someone that has always loved her unconditionally.

—

She’s awoken by the feeling of soft mattress beneath her and Oscar’s arms heavy around her torso. He’s deep in sleep when she opens her eyes, has her completely enveloped in his grasp on her side. The room is dark, the window open and allowing for a cold breeze to flow through the room. She loves it. It’s cold outside, but Oscar keeps her warm. Her hands move their way up to his head, playing with his hair and staring at the man who has treated her so gently.

Tears fall down her face all so suddenly, sniffling lightly but still waking Oscar in the process.

He’s immediately worried, “What’s wrong?”

Her head drops to his chest, “I just love you so much and can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you stayed here even after seeing the state everything was in, including me.”

His soft hands leave her body and pull her face up to him. His eyes are dilated as he looks at her, “I would’ve done it yesterday and I’ll do it for the rest of our lives. I don’t want you to struggle alone. You don’t deserve that. You’ve done too much of that before you met me.”

If only her younger self could see her now. A younger girl worried she’d never find a man who loved her by seeing her now wholly adored by someone who didn’t just see her, but understood her too. She doesn’t even need to utter the problem, he already knows and she’s caught on to that since the moment he showed up at her door. His carefully chosen words about her worth and how easy it is to love her were all strategically placed in order to fix the cracks deep in her soul that have come undone at the hands of her parents.

“It’s just upsetting that they only loved me.” She whispers and for a second, Oscar doesn’t understand what she’s saying. But, the tense of her words dawns on him and the look on her face unleashes anger in his body. Loved. It’s upsetting that her parents loved her. They no longer do in her eyes. She once had parental support, love, but it’s obvious how transactional, conditional it was now. She got a taste of what it was like to be loved by them, but it was taken away when she needed it the most. She had mentioned to him before that growing up, she felt as if they used her presence to shy away from the problems of their marriage. When she was out of the house, she thought they would separate, but the opposite has happened. She served her purpose, now they throw money at trips to fill the void of what they have refused to face. Disregarded and thrown away, that’s the implications of what she’s confided.

He nods, tears in his eyes, “It’s so unfair of them to treat you this way. They’re your parents. They should be there for you, but they have never known how to love and you were just an unnecessary victim in it all.”

She wipes the moisture from her face, “I should just move on from the way they’ve treated me. I should give them grace because they’re my parents. I should just make peace with it all because this will never be fixed in the way I want it. But, I can’t.”

Oscar kisses the top of her head, “It’s okay that you can’t. That’s completely understandable. Giving grace just because they’re your family members isn’t right, Y/n. Just because there’s a blood relation doesn’t mean you can excuse their behavior. They’re your parents and they have neglected you for ages. You can’t keep giving everything to them, only to get nothing in return. Parents or not, you distance yourself from people who bring you down as much as they do.”

More tears smear against his chest, “But, they’re my parents, Osc.”

It’s as if he doesn’t know what to say because he knows how much she praises their drive and determination, giving her a life of privilege. Though, he stands firm on the idea that no one should be given a second chance if they “love” this way.

“I know, Y/n, and it’s so horrible that you’ve been put in this situation, but I think it would do you some good to let go of a part of them. You’ll go home and see them for birthdays, Christmases, but, in the time between, you don’t have to chase after them. You can find love in other things, happiness in other things. I’ll even do some of it with you. We can take up painting classes like you always wanted, walks in that park down the street that you love, studying in coffee shops, and watching the sunset. Life without them can be freeing.”

He’s right, she thinks. Life without them will be freeing. But, the story of letting go is never easy and finding yourself flipping to past chapters to hold onto something that isn’t there anymore is usual.

However, as she lays tangled in the limbs of Oscar, she finds future chapters to be more exciting, more fulfilling. Her whole life is ahead of her, one including Oscar, and that sudden revelation fills her with an overwhelming relief. His listing of all the things she loves, wants to try desperately reminds her just how in love with her he is. Every action of hers is noted by him and she’s spent years begging for that from her parents. She never got it, but maybe that was because something else softer lied in the cards for her. At times, her parents needed her, but they would always need something else more. Glamorous, shiny, new things that would satisfy them for a time. She would never be enough in the minds of them, but in the mind of Oscar, she was more than enough. It was clear she was everything to him.

A life with him would be different from the one handed to her on a broken, rusty platter. She wanted that with him and the way he looked at her told her he did too. Letting go of the dismissal of people she has killed herself for to make proud was maybe for the best, pushed her in the direction of focusing on Oscar and everything she’s ever wanted. Was this her mending old, deep wounds?

Loved and cherished, she found sleep once more, rejuvenated with hope and a sense of moving on.

#mclaren #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #oscar pia #oscar piastri fanfiction #oscar piasstri #oscar piastri imagines #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri smut #oscar piastri x reader #op81 #op #op81 x reader #op81 imagine #op81 fluff #op81 fic #op81 x you #op81 smut #op81 angst

[kteezy997]

my desire//t.c.

Warnings: touchy PR subject, cheating, angst, smut, breast worship/sucking, rough sex, kinda sub!Timmy, hair pulling, one slap

This is for entertainment purposes. I know it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but please be kind❤️

You waited hours for Timothée to get home. He was with her: Kylie Jenner. They had been bound by a promotional contract, and he was forced to go on “dates” with her, to be seen and photographed. According to the press, they had been together for a year. But he was yours way before he was on Jenner's radar.

You knew that it was for his career and nothing more. The public didn’t know who you were or that you were in his life. You agreed to sit on the sidelines and be his secret, only because you loved him so much. You’d hide from the entire world with him, if it meant you could have him in some capacity.

But tonight, it had gone on too long. Why wasn’t he back yet? Could he really not get away? Was he enjoying spending time with her? As the hours dragged on, with you sitting alone in your apartment, you feared the worst: he was cheating on you with her, for real.

The fear turned into anger quickly. How could he give her so much of his time? That alone was cheating. That was betrayal. He was supposed to be with you, talking and laughing with you, not her. You didn’t want to believe that he would go to bed with her.

Finally, into the early morning hours, he came through the door, looking rather exhausted. If you weren’t mistaken, his skin looked a little flushed, and was that sweat on his hairline?

“Where have you been?” you demanded as soon as he came through the door.

“Babe, I didn’t think you’d still be up-" he was obviously surprised to be confronted by you, and he fumbled with his words.

“Answer me, Timothée.” you crossed your arms, feeling like a parent scolding their teenager who had been out passed their curfew.

“You know where I was.” he said lowly, taking his jacket off, tossing it onto the table. He turned to open the refrigerator.

“No, I know who you were with. What were you doing with her?”

“Nothing, baby. Just lost track of time, that’s all.” he insisted, grabbing a bottle of water.

“Lost track of time? With your fake girlfriend while your actual girlfriend was waiting for you?”

He turned to face you, taking a swig of the water, “I didn’t know you were waiting for me. I thought you were going out with your friends. I figured you would be asleep when I got home.”

“What the fuck were you doing out this late, Timothée? You’re all sweaty and tired. And you reek of skanky perfume! Tell me the truth, were you fucking her?!”

“Y/n…” he sighed, looking down at his feet.

“Don’t speak to me if it’s going to be a lie.” you spat through your teeth.

He put his hand on his forehead, then ran his fingers through his hair, “Honey, I meant to shower and forget that it even happened!”

“You’re such a bastard.” you scoffed. You hated yourself for thinking that this wouldn’t happen. The woman had fake tits and a fake ass, she posted bikini pictures almost daily, she was thirsted over by millions of followers. You hated that you thought that Timmy would be above that, and besides, he had you, right?

“It meant nothing to me, I fucking swear! I had to do it!”

“Oh, fuck you!” you felt the anger coursing through your veins. Your heart rate thumped all over your body.

“No, really, babe. She needs to believe that it’s a real relationship, and she wanted to fuck, so I had to. But it was just business,” he reached out for your hand, but you pulled away as soon as he touched you, “it wasn’t like how it is with you.” his voice broke.

“Holding her hand, a few kisses for the cameras are one thing, but I never thought you’d do this. I thought you were better than this.” you said, feeling your throat tighten. You turned your back to him. You were so pissed. All you could see was the two of them together. Kylie with her skinny arms and legs wrapped around the body of the love of your life, both of them sweating and breathing hard.

“Please, forgive me for this stupid thing with her. It will be over soon, I promise you. And we can have our normal life back. I’ll do anything!” he got on his knees in front of you, pleading and holding your hands in his, the persistence in his voice was palpable.

“Timothée.” you shook your head, feeling tears threatening your eyes. It was all so much to bear. You tried to get the images of him with her out of your mind.

“Please, stay with me. I love you. You’re the one I want. You have my desire, not her.” he nestled his face into your stomach, wrapping his arms around your body, “She’s nothing to me. I’m sorry you’d have to deal with this. You are my world. Tonight was a mistake. It will never happen again, you have my word, y/n. Please, stay with me.”

You put your hand on the bed of curls atop his head, combing your fingers through it, “I think I need to sleep on this. It’s just a lot right now.”

Timmy pressed his hands into your back, and you could hear him starting to cry. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You took ahold of his arms, prying them off of you, “You have to stop. Let me go, Timmy. I have to go to bed. Stop.”

He complied, letting you remove his arms from your body, he sat back on his knees. “I love you, y/n.”

You saw the tears run onto his cheeks, you knew that he was truly broken. At this point, you were glad that he felt so terrible. “I just can’t be around you right now.”

…….

You didn’t get much sleep at all, but morning came, and you found Timmy sleeping on the couch. You watched him sleep for a moment, wondering about all the things he did with Kylie last night. Did he put his mouth on her tits? Did he perform oral sex on her? Did she blow him? Did he like it? Did he get off watching her perfect bubble butt as he rammed into her from behind? Was she better in bed than you?

You noticed that he had changed his clothes from the previous night. He must have showered when you went to bed.

You wanted to hate him, to be angry and loud and throw things at him. But you couldn’t. It would be hard to go on from here, you knew that. Maybe in time, you could forgive him. You had never loved anyone like you loved Timmy.

You just wanted those images out of your head. He was supposed to love you. He was supposed to be loyal to you. He was supposed to protect your heart. You wanted to take back what was yours.

You leaned over, placing your hand on his shoulder, shaking him.

Timmy woke up, barely able to open his eyes, but you didn't care how tired or groggy he was.

"Was she better than me?" you asked in a demanding tone.

He furrowed his brows, squinting, "What?" his voice was soft as a whisper.

"You heard me."

He shook his head, "No. Of course not. Y/n, I didn't want this for you. Please, don't compare. She means nothing to me." he sighed, "Fuck it, I'm going to cancel the contract."

"Well, you'll lose the money that the Karjenner clan is making you."

"I don't give a shit! It's ruined me and you. It’s making you doubt yourself.” he was the most distraught you had ever seen him. “It's clouded my judgement, it's made me do something disgusting, I betrayed you. I'm fucking done with all of it." he grabbed his phone from the side table, dialing a number in an instant.

You heard everything. It was a lengthy process, talking to different members of his management team, his agent, and representatives of the Jenners. He didn't stop. He left no stone unturned until everyone knew that he was finished with this PR deal.

It felt like hours, but once the dust settled, Timmy sat back down on the couch next to you. "It's over." he said, "They have some paperwork for me to sign to finalize everything, but it's definitely finished. I'm so fucking done with it."

"Well, if that's what you want, then I'm happy for you." you said, keeping your tone neutral.

He inhaled, drawing a hefty breath back out, he looked over at your hand as it sat on your lap, nonverbally asking to take it in his.

You gave him a small nod.

He reached over and tucked his fingers under yours, gripping your hand gently, "I'm sorry for what I did. I hope you find a way to forgive me and we can move forward. I'll never hurt you again."

"And I'll kill you if you do." you said, not a hint of falseness in your words. You put your hand on his in your lap and leaned over, kissing his lips.

He was obviously surprised by this, and he kissed you back with a fierceness.

You pulled away, resting your hand on his chest before taking his shirt into your fist. "Now, I want you to fuck me so good that you forget her name."

Timmy wasted no time, he grabbed the back of your head, pulling you into a heated kiss. He introduced his tongue and you let it dance with yours. He pulled you onto his lap, tugging on your clothes.

You complied, taking your clothes off quickly and then steadying yourself on his lap.

He cupped your breasts, and stopped kissing you to latch onto your nipple. He sucked your breast like it was sweet nectar from the gods. He suckled the bud, licked all around it all while rolling your other nipple between his fingers.

You were moaning, clutching the back of his head as he put his lips around your other nipple. He sucked your tits like it was his job, and you got incredibly wet. "Are you hard for me?" you asked, nearly out of breath as you started to grind against his crotch.

"Yes, my love. Take my cock into that sweet pussy." he breathed out, looking up at you like you were a drop of water in the deep desert.

You slid the front of his pants down, letting his hard cock free. It stood perpendicular to his body with drops of precum starting to leak from his slit. You brought your hips forward, and you and Timmy held his cock for you to sink down onto.

He slid in as you bottomed out, you felt the wonderful stretch of him. You put your hands on his shoulders, instantly bobbing your hips up and down.

Timmy started to pant softly. He held you by the waist, just watching you fuck him. He licked his lips, and eventually his mouth fell open, like he was in awe of you. “Yes, baby, feels so good.” he praised, giving your hips a light squeeze.

You moved your hands from his shoulders to the ledge of the back of the couch behind him. “Mm.” you whimpered, slowing your pace, but taking him deeper.

He put his hands on your breasts, softly rubbing your nipples with his thumbs. “I love you. I love you so much.” he cooed, leaning in to you and kissing your neck.

You kept thrusting your hips along his cock, creating that warm sensation inside of you. You felt amazing, you let your head fall back.

The next thing you knew, he tightened his grip around your body, causing you to still yourself completely. He thrusted his hips upward, his cock pumped in and out at full speed.

You held onto him, clenching your eyes shut, feeling the friction, feeling the tip of his cock in your stomach. “Fuck!” you cried. You dug your nails into his arms. “Timmy!” You could hear the squelching, wet sounds from your pussy, and the slapping of his thighs on your ass.

“Aw fuck!” you heard him mutter under a ragged breath. Just after, you felt his sperm shooting into you. You moaned at the feeling, wiggling your hips on him.

Timmy rested his head on your chest for a moment, and kissed your breasts. He didn’t pull out, he didn’t let you go. He put his arms around you and regained his pace inside you.

The build up was insane, you came before you even realized it was happening. He must have sensed your release, because he slowed his pace. He gave your ass a squeeze, and pumped his hips into you, lazily.

As you rode through your high, you met each other’s thrusts, moving together. You locked eyes with him. They were deep green, and all sexed out. You put your hands in his hair, tugging on his curls.

Timmy groaned as you pulled on his hair. He put his head back on the couch.

You attacked his mouth with sloppy kisses. You had stopped fucking him, but he was softly rutting into you. You scraped your teeth along his jaw and bit at his neck. You let go of his hair, pushing it out of his face.

The curls were out of his eyes. He looked at you like you were the only being on earth. “I fucking love you.” he huffed out, a silly grin on his face.

You leaned back a little, then brought your hand up. You opened up your palm, a threw a swift slap across his cheek.

His head snapped to the side, and he groaned in pain. He put his hand on the cheek you had slapped, then turned his head back.

“I love you too. But I don’t like you right now.”

Timmy rubbed his cheek, “I can live with that.”

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothée imagine #timothee x reader #timothee chalamet smut #timothee chalamet #timothee fanfic #timothée chalamet fanfic #lil timmy tim #timothée chalamet smut

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Brand New One Shot - First Preview

It’s time for a new one shot! I promise I will finish “Dress Up” in the very near future but I wanted to get a jumpstart on this! No active warnings for this preview, but there is a very very subtle hint to something naughty if you squint lol

You remember first meeting the King of Hell on the day you checked yourself into the Hazbin Hotel. And you remember thinking that Lucifer looked nothing like you had pictured. Of course he was beautiful, that wasn’t shocking, but he was so…unimposing. Not only that, he was kind, albeit a bit dorky as well. Not that it was off putting to you, it was endearing if anything!

Although, you hadn’t spoken to him all that much since the time you’d moved in. Lucifer seemed so nonchalant and relaxed with everyone else in the hotel, save for Alastor, who you noticed always managed to get under the fallen angel’s skin one way or another. Even you knew the radio demon was playing with fire; probably wasn’t the smartest idea to piss off the most powerful being in Hell. Regardless, how he acted around you was a little odd to say the least. It seemed like Lucifer was always trying to avoid you for some unknown reason. Did he not like you?

When you had first spoken to him all those month ago, you could tell he was tense. He rambled, a lot. And he somehow managed to fumble every other word that left his mouth. He quickly left after your initial meet, and ever since then it was nearly impossible to get in more than five words at a time. He had an impossibly perfect disappearing act, what with his portaging abilities. One time you greeted him from across the lobby and his only response was “O-Oh! H-Hey you! Uhh, I just, umm…welp, gotta run!” and took off before you could even say goodbye. Truly bizarre.

You eventually went to Charlie, telling her that her dad was seemingly very distant towards you. “Oh, don’t worry about that!” Charlie explained. “He’s a pretty busy guy, so he’s usually popping in and out of here pretty frequently. And he’s told me on multiple occasions that he’s glad you joined the hotel! He can come off as a bit scatterbrained, but rest assured he’s more than happy to have you here! And so am I!”

You smiled and thanked her. From the few months that you’ve known her, Charlie was never one to lie, so you decided to take her words at face value. For now, at least. For some reason, you still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up with Lucifer. You needed to find out.

A few nights had passed and you found yourself wandering through the lobby. It was late, way later than you should be awake. Even Husk was asleep, the bar sat devoid of any life. It was difficult to sleep most night, you were still grappling with the fact that you were, in fact, in Hell. You thought you were a decent person in life. Never religious but you tried your best to while you were alive. But that didn’t seem to matter. Perhaps you should have attended church with your family more often, or donated to more charities, or not cut that one person off at that traffic light. Laying awake in your bed wasn’t helping these thoughts, but getting up and walking around usually helped just a tad.

You glanced over to the fire place, noticing the flames dancing against the walls. That was strange, considering no one ever used the fire place, or at least not that you’ve seen. But then you noticed one of the large chairs in front of it wasn’t empty. A white sleeve laid across the arm rest. You walked over out of pure curiosity, just to see who was awake at this ungodly hour like you. You craned your neck to see Lucifer sitting there frozen, his head down and eyes closed with his free hand pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked troubled. Before you could speak up, you heard him mumble under his breath.

“What the hell am I going to do…”

Worried, you outstretched your hand, but stopped short of touching his arm. “Sir?”

Lucifer’s eyes shot open instantly, turning his head to see you towering over him. He leapt from his chair completely startled and began stumbling backwards towards the fire pit.

“Watch out!” you warned, gripping his hand and pulling him towards you. Lucifer held his breath, trying to process what just happened. His head ended up flush against your chest, your face now feeling as hot as the flames in the pit. You let go of his hand and stepped away from him as fast as you could. Lucifer remained motionless. “I-I’m so sorry, your majesty! I didn’t mean for you to…I’m sorry!”

You finally heard Lucifer exhale. He stood up straight and fixed his wrinkled jacket, making every effort to not look you in the eyes.

“It’s alright, m-my dear,” he spoke softly, “no harm done. A-And please, call me Lucifer.”

“Okay. Lucifer,” you started, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I saw you over here and I heard what you said and…is everything alright?”

Lucifer was tense again. You noticed him clench his fists. “How much did you hear?”

“Not much,” you admitted. “you just sounded worried about something.”

The king let out a sigh, letting his hands relax. “Thank you for your concern, I-I appreciate it. It’s nothing…nothing that you need to trouble yourself with. It’ll be fine.” Lucifer waved his hand, a portal now swirling open behind him, leading to his bedroom. “I think we should both get some sleep now. And t-thank you for catching me. Although, fire can’t harm me…b-but I appreciate the rescue nonetheless!” He was about to step through the portal when you caught his hand once more.

“Wait,” you said quietly. Lucifer looked down at the ground, still refusing to meet your gaze. You frowned. “Sir-I mean Lucifer…I wanted to ask you something. I need to know.” You felt his hand squeeze yours; he was tense again. “I-I’ve been feeling like I’m not welcome here by you.” Lucifer finally lifted his head, his eyes almost piercing your soul. He looked distraught at your words. You never noticed how beautiful his eyes truly were, the soft yellow complimented his pure white skin nicely. You blushed slightly, but shook your head and tried to remember what you were saying. “I-I just mean, you seem to avoid me every time I’m near. If I’ve done something to upset you, I’m very sorry. And if you’d rather I’d not stay here, then…”

“NO!” he shouted, now gripping your hand with both of his. “I-I mean, no. You haven’t done anything wrong! Please…Please don’t leave. I should be the one apologizing if that’s truly how you’ve been feeling. I never want you to feel unwelcome here, especially not from me. It…It’s just that…I…” Before he could finish his explanation, his eyes dropped for just a split second before returning to yours. His gaze had somehow shifted into a more panicked expression. He let go of your hands immediately and stepped through his portal in a hurry. “I-I have to go, I’m sorry!” You couldn’t get another word out before his portal disappeared from view.

You stood alone in the parlor, alone and confused. The fire had died out, and you felt a shiver down your spine at the realization of how cold it had gotten without it. But you couldn’t let the conversation end there. You needed to know what was going on with him. You wouldn’t sleep until you did. Luckily, Lucifer’s room at the hotel was very easy to find.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #lucifer smut #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #my writing #preview #oh where could this be leading :) #if you know the prompt this was based on you know exactly where it’s leading haha

[f0point5]

What if I told you I’m back?

This was a request but tumblr ate, you’ll all just have to believe me. Someone asked for a Max POV during the best friend era. So, I decided to go with this one ✨set 16th April 2018✨ the day after the Chinese GP, because I feel like we don’t talk enough about the early friendship.

I hope this finds its way to whoever sent in the ask and that you enjoy it 🫶

Max almost turns around three times on the way to your building.

The first time, it’s when he realises it’s late, gone ten p.m. on a Monday, you might be asleep. He should go home and come by tomorrow. But you’re a night owl, you won’t be asleep.

The second time, he thinks you won’t be asleep, but you won’t be expecting company. He hasn’t even texted, and he should have, but he left his phone in his jacket which he gave to his concierge to send upstairs with his bags. He should intrude. But he’s not exactly company, he’s seen you in your pyjamas, it’s not like he’s suggesting you go out.

The third time, it’s the absurdity of the situation that gives him pause. He hadn’t even set foot in his building before setting off to yours. After three and a half weeks away one more night shouldn’t be a big deal. Maybe you’ll think he’s a bit strange. But equally, it shouldn’t be a big deal to just see you for a minute, right? If only just to give you your present.

He’s surprised by much he found himself missing you. It’s not like he hasn’t been sued to being away from his friends and family his whole life, it’s not even like you didn’t talk while he was away. You talked a lot. But, he rationalises, he’d got used to having you around during winter break, you’d hardly been apart. You’d even come home to his mum’s with him just before Christmas. Your presence, your perfume, your way never letting him finish a sentence, it was all normal to him now. It wasn’t that he needed it, just that he had had to learn how to be without it, and that had been harder than anticipated. The last time he’d done that he was eight.

It only occurs to him now, as your building comes into view, that you might not feel the same way. You’d said you’d missed him countless times in the last three and a half weeks, but that didn’t signify. After all, he’d said it maybe twice and he here he was, asleep on his feet but at your door because he didn’t want to go home without seeing you.

He should just go home.

“Max?” No turning back now. He turns around to see you, dressed in a pretty blouse and a short skirt, teetering towards him on stiletto heels. “Maxy, Maxy, Maxy,”

You collide with him before he has a chance to laugh at the way you were squealing like a child. He hugs you back, holding you up when you lift your feet off the floor for a second. He’s half expecting you to smell like a distillery, unable and unwilling to comprehend that your reaction is all your own. But all he smells is your perfume, and it feels like Christmas all over again.

“Hey,” he says, lowering you to the ground and finally getting a good look at you. Your hair’s a little shorter, your face is- no, you couldn’t have gotten prettier. You’re a bit more tanned.

“I thought you were still in China,” you say, squeezing his shoulders. “You look so hungry, have you lost weight?”

“I just got back,” he says with a shrug. You’re almost his height in your heels, he notices for no discernible reason.

You take in his no doubt plane-rumpled appearance. “Did you come straight here?”

“Uh,” he clears his throat. He’s not going to admit that when you’re giving him a warranted look of confusion, but he doesn’t want to lie either. “I brought you a present.” He holds up the package, wrapped poorly on the flight home. Even the flight attendant had given him a sympathetic look as she watched him struggle.

“Aw, thanks,” you say, pressing your key fob against the censor and pulling open the door before Max can get to it. “Come up,”

“Are you sure?”

You give him an incredulous look, lit up by the golden glow of your lobby lights. “Of course,”

You tell him about the dinner you were just getting back from when he arrived, all the way up to your flat. Some people would find it odd or even rude that Max has been a continent away, racing the fastest cars on the planet in front of millions of people, and yet you’re perfectly at ease taking time to talk about your overly creamy pasta. Max likes it, relishes it, even. You’ve never seen him or his job as anything special. He went to work, you went to dinner. It’s normal. Just friends catching up.

You let him into your flat, heading straight for the kitchen, and Max takes the same seat at the breakfast island that he always does. He idly wonders if anyone else has sat in it since he’s been away.

“But then it’s not exactly Naples, you what can you expect. Sometimes I think the French sabotage Italian food on purpose,” you say, filling a wine glass with water from your fridge dispenser. “Great race, by the way. Glad my voodoo worked,”

Max scoffs. “So, you didn’t watch it,” he shakes his head as if that will help the memories fade quicker.

“I did. Got up at the crack of dawn and everything. And I cursed your car not to win,“ you say with a mischievous grin, pulling out a can of red bull from the fridge.

Max frowns. “What the fuck?”

“You can’t win when I’m not there to see it,” you declare, handing him the Red Bull. He reaches to take it, but you don’t let go until he looks at you. “I’d have been devastated,”

For the first time in his life, Max is actually half glad he didn’t win a race.

He chuckles, opening the can with one hand while sliding the gift along the counter towards you with the other.

“Well, I want to win,” he says, as you start picking at the copious amount of sellotape. “So you’ll just have to come to all the races,”

He’s surprised how much he means that.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Maxy. Oh my God, you can’t wrap for shit,” you say, finally managing to pull apart first Max’s wrapping, and then the box containing the, “Chopsticks?”

“Very fancy chopsticks,” Max explains. He points to the set of dark wood chopsticks you’re holding, gesturing to the intricate gold figures entwined on the top. “See, one set has dragons and one set has a phoenix? They’re famous in Chinese mythology. The guy said to give It to someone you like, they’re supposed to bring luck. Or something. I didn’t really understand his English,”

You stare at them for a while, a sort of bewildered smile on your face, and Max almost slaps himself. He should have just bought you a handbag. They had a Chanel in China. Why didn’t he just listen to his dad? This sentimental shit is weird and embarrassing and he should have just gone home.

“So,” you say, using the chopsticks to point at Max accusingly as you smirk at him. “You like me now? Who would have thought? After all those years of telling everyone how annoying I was, you like enough to want me to have good luck,”

“You-“ Max fights the urge to argue.

That smug look on your face still triggers him something awful. But behind it is someone who has become important to him. It’s not just that you know things about him that even he’s forgotten, it’s that he doesn’t want there ever be anything you don’t know about him. You him laugh, and he never wants to see you cry, and he’s used to being reviled and admired, and even liked, but you’re the only person who’s ever made him feel this understood.

“You’re my best friend,”

Once, he might have been embarrassed that you don’t say it back, but just like you know him, he knows you now, too. You grin at him, sipping your water as you look at him over the rim of your glass.

“Well, despite the fact that this whole chopstick story sounds like the beginning of an Indiana Jones movie, they’re beautiful, and I love them, and I promise I will only ever use them to eat Chinese food with you,” you say, putting the chopsticks back in their box. “And I’m glad you’re home.”

Max doesn’t say anything, fiddling with the can again, and you sigh.

“When are you leaving again?”

“Um,” he hesitates, like if he doesn’t say it then it won’t happen. He gives up and gives you an apologetic smile. “Thursday. Going to the UK for some work and then straight to Baku,”

“Oh,” your face, falls, and you toy with the stem of your glass, only for a few seconds, before you shrug. “Well, we should have dinner before you go, and then-“

“Do you-“ He cuts himself off, because he knows he should think about this more, but then you’re looking at him and he’s done thinking. “Do you want to come?”

“To the UK?”

“Yeah,” Max mumbles, looking down at his Red Bull as his fingers fiddle with the tab. “And to Baku,” he glances up to see your reaction, “and, I mean, anywhere,” he adds a shrug, because, obviously, the invitation is totally casual.

You shrug back. “Okay,”

He can hear his dad already, complaining about how you’re a distraction, you bring cameras and drama, how Max gives you too much of his attention on race weekends. But there’s worse things than Jos’s moaning, like not seeing you for another two weeks.

He barely has time to think about that before a Chinese takeout menu slides into his vision. He looks up at you, confused. “Didn’t you eat?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t look like you have in about a week. You are starting to get Cillian Murphy cheekbones,” you grimace. Max has no idea who that is but based on your face he doesn’t want to look like him. “And besides, I want to test out these magic chopsticks,”

#max verstappen x reader

[the-witheredroses]

Pt. 2

TW: angst/comfort, reader cries a little and is mentioned to have been in therapy

<< Previous | Next>>

The silence was agonizing. The air felt drowning and heavy. It didn’t help that no one could look at each other.

Soap and you have migrated to the couch after realizing that the conversation probably should be had while sitting.

How are any of you meant to address any of this?

Each of you knew just enough to fill in the blanks, but how is-

“So…” Johnny broke the silence and your train of thought. “How do you all know each other?”

“Really, Soap? That’s how you want to start this?” Gaz remarked, letting his grievance show.

“Aye! How else ye expect this to go?! How ye think I feel knowin’ ye’ve shagged my lass?”

“Jesus Christ…” you groan as you hide behind your hands.

“Not everyone-“ Simon murmured leaning back in with his arms crossed.

“Simon!” You exclaim, revealing your warmed cheeks to everyone.

“Well with the way ye look at ‘er I would’ve guessed otherwise-“

“Okay- no, that’s it-“ you stand in front of them all, pointing as you addressed each. “You- Simon, are meant to be dead, I went to your funeral. Fucks sake, I visit those graves everytime I drive past them!”

Simon couldn’t stand to defend himself, because he knew that already. He’d seen you talking to his and his family’s graves every now and then when he went to see them himself. It had torn him apart to not reveal he was alive, but he’d convinced himself it was for your sake. Even if that meant you’d shed more tears.

“You pushed me away for months before ultimately saying that you needed to move for work, that you couldn’t be with me anymore-“ your eyes still held the hurt from long ago as you gazed at Kyle.

“It wasn’t a complete lie…” Kyle scratched at his head, his poor attempt to redeem himself falling flat.

“Shut it, Garrick. You-“ your finger landed on Price, “Why didn’t you tell me you were in town? I assume you’ve been back for a while, so why didn’t you say anything?”

John knew he had no excuse, so he didn’t attempt to deny his reasoning. “Though’ ye might’ve been with yer other man…”

A hefty exhale escapes you as you hold back from saying more. You could slap him, because how, after all this time, does he not see himself as enough? Instead, your gaze landed on Johnny.

“And you, Johnny, you didn’t really do anything, but still, this could’ve never happened if you or John just told me who else was on the team.”

“Or told us who ye were dating.” Kyle muttering was directed to Johnny, but it earned side eye from you.

“Moral of the story,” you continued, “all of you have been keeping things from me. And now we’re here… and I don’t know what to do or say…” your voice broke a little from the festering emotions. Everyone was quick to their feet to comfort you, John worming his way to the front.

“Aye, lass, there’s no need to cry. We just need to talk this out.” John’s hands cupped your cheeks as the tears threatened to spill. “Maybe we should take a break, take a breather. Later, we can talk one on one with you and each other.”

You nod as you try to calm yourself, doing the short breathing exercises you learned from therapy.

John placed a soft kiss to your forehead before being pushed aside by Johnny. His arms quickly envelop you and he kisses your temple.

“Common lass, let’s get ye out of here for a bit…” Johnny whispered and pulled you into the bedroom, leaving the other men standing in a circle, stuck their own thoughts…

————

Idk what to call this series so feel free to leave some suggestions!

Also didn’t want to make this series too angsty, but reader is definitely gonna need some one-on-one time with each of the boys…

#141 x reader #141 x you #price x reader #john price x reader #john price x you #johnny mctavish x reader #johnny soap mctavish x reader #soap x reader #kyle gaz x reader #kyle gaz x you #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #task force x reader #task force 141 #poly 141 #poly 141 x reader

[heich0e]

vash wears his signature round-framed glasses every day, and has for all the years you've known him. he's not particularly shy about anything, but he freely admits to having terrible eyesight and an absolutely insane lens prescription to anyone who asks.

nai on the other hand outrightly lies about it.

his eyesight is every bit as bad as his twin's—worse, sometimes, because he gets tension headaches that affect his vision that vash has never suffered. but in contrast to his brother, he wears contact lenses at all times to keep that secret hidden. he doesn't reveal much personal information in the first place, and his frosty demeanour is enough to put anyone off from prying, but you really would swear that someone as perfect as nai has the 20/20 vision that he claims.

except one day, during midterms, you show up unexpectedly at the twins' apartment to drop off a textbook that vash had forgotten at the library the night before in his exhaustion-induced stupor. you have to pass his place on your way to campus anyway, so you stop by to return it to him bright and early—knowing he'll need it in last minute preparation for his test that day.

but it's not vash who answers the door when you come knocking, it's nai. he's more dishevelled than you've ever seen him; in a pair of track pants whose elasticated legs are lopsided—stuck at different points on either side, one resting at his left ankle and the right about a quarter of the way up his calf—and a rumpled t-shirt, his bright blonde hair sticking up on one side. he must have just woken, you realize quickly. it's early in the morning, after all, and he's in the throes of midterms too. premed midterms at that. but you just never quite expected someone like nai to even be capable of being dishevelled, much less succumbing to any sort of academic pressure, seeing as he's always so frighteningly well put-together.

"you're wearing glasses."

any lingering softness of fatigue in nai's expression is immediately replaced by a much more familiar look of ire.

"what do you want?" he snaps, crossing his arms over his chest.

he doesn't take the glasses off, you notice. part of you wonders if it's only because that would be like admitting defeat.

"vash left this at the library yesterday,"—you lift the textbook in your hands, holding it before you like a peace-offering—"i know he needs it for-"

nai snatches the hardcover from your grip before you can even finish your explanation.

"is that all?" he asks you coldly. you know he only bothers to do it—only grits his teeth and bears it—because if there was something else you'd come there for, and he kicked you out before you'd gotten the chance to do or say it, vash would be upset with him later.

you purse your lips in thought as he stares you down from behind the lenses of his glasses—cold blue piercing though the clear glass. after a moment's consideration, you laugh lightly.

"they really suit you," you remark with a smile.

nai slams the door in your face before you can say anything else.

#the admission that his face felt really hot after that interaction is information that could not even be waterboarded out of him #nai x reader #trigun college!au

[adrinktostopyourthirst]

Bucky Barnes | Series | Loose

Part two of the Rebellion Series

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Plot: You and Bucky have no idea whether you can trust each other. There is an understanding, but you're not sure of what that understanding is and why it seems to run so deep.

Warning: Angst, violence and fluff (?)

Words: 4,1OO

It is hard enough already for Bucky to fall asleep at night. Yes, it has gotten better in recent years, but there will always be that part of him – awake and aware – that registers every sound and movement, even when he should be knocked out. Though he wouldn’t admit it, that part of him sat more alert ever since you had joined the building. Perhaps because Bucky still wasn’t so confident in your allegiance.

He can’t stop overthinking it. He has seen what you’re capable of. Would you be capable of even more if people cornered you? If you felt like you had no other choice but to manipulate and kill your way out? After all, wasn’t it possible that you felt like you had moved from one prison to the next?

You’d been a delight at dinner two nights ago, but Bucky can’t turn off his brain. This is the part that made you win people over. The way you’d gotten along with Natasha like a house on fire, the way you’d shared stories like you and his team had been friends all along… Yet you had no trouble letting a side of yours slip through the cracks that tantalised Bucky beyond belief. The way you had looked at him, teased him–

The faintest rustle has Bucky shooting back to his current place in time. Lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. He holds his breath in an effort to hear better.

Nothing.

However, something doesn’t sit right. Something is off. He’d learned that hypervigilance was a side effect of his trauma, but he had a hard time believing his intuition would betray him like that. Not when he had relied on it so successfully for years.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” he whispers to the dark ceiling.

“Yes, sergeant Barnes?”

“Is everyone in their respectable rooms?” he tries.

“I cannot divulge that information,” the voice sounds and Bucky sighs. He musters up some strength and swings off his duvet before climbing out of bed.

Yeah, he doesn’t trust you for a second.

…

Your heart is pounding in your throat. This isn’t part of your skillset – the escape and combat. Though perhaps if you do the former correctly, you won’t have to resort to the latter. Escaping the compound had been surprisingly easy, which strangely made your chest hurt. It was way too easy to escape. But it made sense. Steve had told you that you weren’t being held captive and you being here was all in good faith.

Faith you just broke by making your escape.

You probably should have been more patient. Winning their trust a bit more and then making an escape, make sure they really don’t see it coming. But the dinner had made you antsy and impatient. You had to get out.

If you’re entirely honest with yourself, you know that getting attached to a new group of people and deciding to escape then – or worse, leading them into their demise later – would be worse than getting away now that no one has attached themselves to you. Or you to them…

Breaching the edge of the surrounding forest, you finally let go of the breath you’ve been holding. You did it. Out of sight, out of mind. You’re free. No more captivity, no more expectations. All you need to do now is leave the country, change your name and possibly dye your hair. Sounds easy enough. A bit dramatic, but not impossible.

That is, until you get dragged backwards by a hand over your mouth and you lose your footing. The hard body behind you is the only thing keeping you from tumbling to the muddy forest grounds. Your breathing is ragged as your hands both fly to grab the forearm attached to the hand covering your yelp.

The metal forearm.

“Rule number one of making your escape: never assume you’re in the clear,” Bucky’s voice rumbles through the night air, his mouth so very close to your ear. “Shouldn’t have dropped your guard when you reached the edge of the forest.”

His gloved hand removes itself from your mouth, but you know better than to make a run for it, or to scream. He twists you by your shoulders and you muster some playful guilt to your face, masking your disappointment. Disappointment… but you feel strangely relieved. Maybe the largeness of finally being free felt somewhat overwhelming. Move to another country and change your name? It’s ridiculous. And that, when the people here have been so patient and kind to you…

You let out a soft laugh, “Worth a shot, no?”

Bucky studies you intently and something in your gut stirs at it. Not even Natasha seems to have as good of a read on you as Bucky does. It makes you feel naked. Makes you feel like all of your carefully crafted plans are flimsy and no good. Makes you feel like you have to stay far, far away from Bucky. Like you need to run. Now.

And how the hell did he manage to figure out you were making your escape?

You wait for him to tell you off, preach against your indolence and call in backup to shove you into something more similar to a prison cell. But Bucky sighs, disappointed and tired.

He seems so, so tired.

“Let’s go back inside,” he says and you furrow your brows at him.

His defeat has your chest clenching tightly. You want him to punish you, scold you. At least show that he cares. Why? You’re not sure. Maybe you need to know that the relief you felt from being caught is somewhat mutual in a sense. That the people here don’t just see you as a weapon, despite the burden, but that you’re someone worth saving. Worth keeping around.

Worth healing.

“That’s it?” you ask. “No scolding or punishment?”

Bucky scoffs humourlessly. “You get a kick out of punishment, darling?”

You roll your eyes. “Seriously.”

“I’m not your fucking baby sitter,” he mutters and starts walking back to the building, rightfully assuming you’ll follow. “If you want, I can ask Steve to tell you off in the morning. He’s better at that sort of thing anyway.”

Some pathetic part of you wants to sulk at his response like an ill-tempered child. “Then why come after me?”

It stays quiet for a second as you cross the field towards the compound. “I couldn’t let a poor escape plan be successful.”

You can’t help but snort at that answer and decide that fine, you’d play along for now. But you wonder if the curious Bucky you’d seen a few days ago had completely vanished since that dinner.

…

The next morning, Bucky gets cornered by you after breakfast. He looks down his nose at your defiant face.

“You didn’t tell anyone about last night?” you ask him and he raises his brows, unimpressed.

It had surprised you that no one at breakfast mentioned anything or gave you even so much as a dirty look. Clearly, none of them are aware that you tried to make your escape last night. And you cannot for the life of you figure out why Bucky is taking it easy on you. Is he smart enough to assume that your own guilt will do more damage than he ever could? Is this part of some bigger scheme of his? Perhaps he is actually as tired and unbothered as he looked when you saw him in those woods.

“What happened last night?” he asks with a telling smirk. The current look on your face is worth the lack of sleep he had tonight. It’s too easy to rattle you. You roll your eyes and Bucky smirks even wider at that. Is he… flirting?

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” you try again.

Bucky remains quiet and fights to keep a straight face. He did expect your question, but why didn’t he tell anyone? Because he thought you and him would get along after those tiny moments during that first dinner. Because the team would have let you walk away. Because Bucky doesn’t want you to go. Because he thinks he can help. Help the world. Help you. He thinks he can help you. And you can help him. And–

“Want me to tell them now?” he says instead.

He barely notices the flash of panic in your eyes before you cover it with an annoyed scoff and turn on your heel to walk away. He watches you. Every step until you are out of sight.

“You said she trusts you,” Steve’s voice sounds from behind him and Bucky schools his face back to bland interest before he turns to Steve. “That doesn’t look like she trusts you.”

“It’s a work in progress.”

Steve frowns pensively. “Well, speed up the process. We have an important mission and we need her for it.”

“What?” Bucky almost loses his restraint, his body flaring in alarm. “Steve, she hasn’t had any training. She was locked up for months. It’s too big of a risk–”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, Buck,” Steve tells him regretfully, but instantly notices that Bucky isn’t buying it. “This is the thing we needed her for.”

“She isn’t some kind of weapon!” Bucky exclaims and he notices Natasha turning away from her conversation in the nearest common room to see what the commotion is about. He gives her a warning look, then lowers his voice. “Steve. This could’ve been me,” Bucky breathes. And there it is. Recognition flickers in Steve’s eyes. “We can’t use her like this. She’s all alone.”

Steve looks past Bucky’s shoulder as if you’re still walking away from him. Angry frown, uptilted chin and swaying hips– Bucky almost looks. Then Steve sighs and looks back at his friend. “Take all the time you need. If she’s ready, I’ll explain the mission to her. I think she might want to help.”

…

Bucky reads over the file until his eyes turn bleary. Steve was right, you will want to help.

He thinks you can handle it, but… what if you encounter a trigger on the way? What if it all becomes too much? Bucky realises he isn’t nearly close enough to care this much, and he doesn’t, but who else but him is going to care whether you live or die? Sometimes Bucky wonders if even you care whether you live or die. What would have happened to Bucky if everyone had given up on him? He knows damn well that he’d be long dead if not so many people found him useful.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Bucky never had a choice. So he finds himself knocking at your door at 10pm with the file in hand.

After opening the door, you barely manage to get a word out before Bucky extends the folder towards you. “Steve needs your help on this. It should be fine, but the choice is up to you.”

Quick. Brief. He’s just the messenger and the decision is all yours. Bucky turns and makes to walk away – before you can spot all of the thoughts crossing his mind – but your voice stops him.

“Will you be there?”

The question takes him by surprise. Turning back towards you and slowly walking to the doorframe you’re standing under, he creases his brows together. “You need me to come along?”

You shrug abashedly. “Will you?”

Bucky studies your face intently. “Yes,” he lies. He’ll figure something out with Steve.

“What if I can’t do what you need me to do?” There it is again. He doesn’t get why this vulnerable side of you keeps surprising him so much.

“You’ll be useful,” are his terrible words of comfort. He wants to palm himself in the face.

The suppressed smile you give him heats his face and he’s sure you’ll call him out on his horrible people skills, but you stay quiet. The silence grows and grows and Bucky starts to shift nonchalantly, wondering if he should walk off and let you read the file in private.

“Okay,” you say softly.

“You’re coming?”

“Yes,” you affirm and look up at him, handing the file back. “Do you not want me to go?”

“It’s your choice,” he tells you and gently takes the folder.

“That’s not what I’m asking.”

Some wall snaps up inside of him at that tone – at that hopeful look in your eyes. “You could use the mission to make your escape,” he says with a shrug and makes to turn away from you again. “I won’t stop you this time.”

He walks away, leaving you to gape at his retreating form.

…

The mission was simple enough.

Sam, Natasha, Bucky and you would be attending a gala. Supposedly, there is a certain divide between the guests in attendance. Your job is mainly to feel out just who will be willing to join your cause. What goes unsaid is that you’re also required to butter them up to spring into action when your team would deem it necessary.

The party is in full swing and everyone is finally losing their mask of formality and enjoying their evening. You just hit the sweet spot of their susceptibility and you sweep into casual conversation about politics. Seeing who keeps quiet, who isn’t scared to speak up, whose faces harden at the prospect of change, etcetera. All of your antennas are on and when you know people have stopped paying attention to you, that’s when you dare a glance across the room where you know Bucky is standing.

All dapper and handsome, wearing a very expensive suit.

All of you have taken thorough action to look exceptional and to blend in perfectly with the high class crowd. Being charming is easy enough, looking it was a necessity – yet, all of it does still feel very far removed from yourself. Like a betrayal to the woman who was locked up mere weeks ago. However, being a true professional, you don’t allow your thoughts to linger too much and channel back to the matter at hand.

Then you feel it.

The searing heat that starts at your legs and spreads all the way up to your chest and cheeks. Like a virus burning over your skin. And you know what it is – know who it is. So you look back in the direction of Bucky, if only to catch him in the act.

But he’s unbothered. Brooding and observing from the bar in the shadow of the room, somehow alone and undiscovered by most of the crowd (a skill you assume he has acquired over the years). And his eyes are still on you. They glide down and back up for even more emphasis and you swallow away the dryness in your throat.

Gliding a sensual hand over the arm of the man next to you, you excuse yourself with a warm smile and slowly stride over to the culprit. Bucky waits patiently, and you swear you see a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as you walk over. He hands you a spare glass of champagne and turns his back to the room when you’re close enough to hear him.

“It’s working,” he says and you swear he sounds slightly impressed.

“Did you assume I’d fuck up?” you taunt and lean over the bar, sipping at the glass flute between your fingers. Bucky turns to you and his eyes sweep over the curve of your partly exposed back, the hollow of your spine and the curve of your ass. Then he holds his breath for a moment.

“Wouldn’t be mad if you did,” he tells you and his tone sounds gentle. You know that’s why he’s here, even though neither of you said it out loud, you know he’s here to stick up for you if you can’t get it done yet. If you’re not ready to be that person again.

Just like he probably knows that you’re here because the guilt of trying to escape from your saviours was eating you alive. And you didn’t want to prove Bucky right by escaping. You had glanced at the exits a few times and debated it, yes, but then looked at your team and thought against it. Looked at Bucky and–

“We’ll leave in five minutes,” Bucky murmurs as he finishes his glass. “I noted down all the people you signed as potential allies and who definitely isn’t.”

“There’s a few we can convince to help,” you cut in.

“What? The woman who runs that capitalist shitshow?” Bucky frowns. “Nah, she’s only motivated by money.”

You smile at him knowingly. “Money is a great motivator and our movement could benefit her greatly, so you just have to nudge her in the right direction.”

Bucky studies your face then and you might have found it less penetrating when he looked at your body with that stare. That intrigue. “And you already have a plan to tip her over to our side,” he concludes.

“You chose me for this for a reason, did you not?” you ask.

His eyes drop to your mouth. “I like a woman who takes her job seriously.”

You have no idea where that came from, but decide to go along with it anyway. You smirk and empty your flute, gently setting it down on the bar after. “Here I was, thinking you didn’t like anyone,” you purr and saunter off to find your other teammates and round up today’s mission.

You turn around when you hear Bucky yelling out your name, but then the room spins and debris flies everywhere. You’d cry out if the wind didn’t whoosh from your body and your ears don’t hollow out. You want to voice your discovery, as futile as it is, but the scream dies in your throat.

Someone just blew up the building.

…

It feels like there’s ash in your mouth. And throat. Your body bleats in pain, but nothing too severely. Maybe you’re in shock. Maybe you can’t feel a limb that’s no longer there. Maybe–

The room is dark except for an orange hue that travels over the ceiling and walls every few seconds. You’re slumped in a velvet chair and your fingers pluck softly at the fabric. One by one, your senses weave together and you hear the soft sounds of someone working on something. Paper ruffling, some gentle work, someone who’s trying to be quiet. You rasp in a raw breath and see a shadow at the bottom of your vision. But your body is relaxed. Or… Well, as relaxed as it can be.

There was an explosion.

“Have some water,” Bucky offers from his kneeling position between your legs and nudges his chin to the glass at the small table next to your chair. His voice is soft, raw. And when you squint at him while you blindly reach for the glass, you see soot on his face, dust on his suit.

“Are you alright?” you ask and your voice reminds you to take the drink. The water feels like heaven in your throat and you nearly gulp down the whole glass.

Bucky pauses at your question and surely he didn’t expect that to be your first question. “I’m fine,” he grumbles and focuses on the task at hand. Which, you quickly realise, is cleaning up the wound on your thigh.

Next to him, there’s a small container with small shards of glass in there and a used pair of tweezers. You feel the prickle of the wound at your thigh and observe closely as he presses some gauze to the puncture wounds. His hands are firm and steady as he wraps a bandage around your thigh to secure the gauze. His calluses scrape against your soft skin and you almost swear he takes more time than he should securing the bandage.

You heave a deep sigh and straighten up in the chair. “Natasha and Sam?”

“Natasha was sent to hunt down the ones responsible and needed an aerial patrol, so she took Sam.” Bucky clenches his jaw and you have a feeling it took some convincing to get Bucky to not go after the bastards himself, to let Natasha handle it instead. “There were deaths, lots of wounded.”

You flinch at that.

Bucky notices it. The glaze over your eyes and the tightening of your fingers into the soft fabric of the chair. He barely allows himself to hesitate and he cover your left hand with his right one, taking your fingers and stroking his thumb over your knuckles. “We got out as many as we could, no one saw the explosion coming,” he explains and hopes the information brings you some peace. He’s desperate to take that haunted look off your face, but doesn’t know how.

He gives you time then. Allows you to sort through your memories and shush them. He strokes his thumb gently and squeezes your fingers every once in a while to anchor you to here, to being safe. Your breaths go from shallow to deep as they slow. He hears your heartbeat steady and watches clarity fill your eyes again.

Fuck him. Those eyes.

“Tomorrow, we go over your list and see what we can do. Let’s get some rest for now.” He pushes to a stand and moves to remove his hand from yours, but you hold onto him.

“I’m sorry for trying to escape,” you rasp and Bucky tenses at that. He did not expect that confession. Didn’t expect an apology either – he didn’t think one was warranted.

You slowly push to a stand and Bucky’s heartbeat spikes as you wobble on your legs before you steady yourself. His eyes search your face frantically and he tries not to linger at your lips for too long. You gently stroke a hand down his arm before brushing past him in thanks, and Bucky has to take a deep breath. A flash of you doing the same thing to one of tonight’s guests comes to him and jealousy hits him, a little too viciously. Just like it did when he saw it earlier tonight.

He turns around and watches as you walk up the small bag he packed for an instance like this. You pull out some clothes and Bucky shamelessly stares while you do it. He almost sighs as the sight of that orange hue travelling over your form, most of the sleek dress still intact and definitely still doing its job of making you look good enough to eat.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” he blurts. But he stands still as he watches you freeze. You slowly turn to him and tilt your head at him curiously.

Then, a slow smirk spreads over your face and your brows raise playfully. Bucky frowns as he tries to read the expression on your face, even if the lightness of it makes him want to drop to his knees in relief. This is much, much better than that haunted look that was there mere minutes ago.

Until one of your hands lifts from the bag, a small scrap of lace dangling from your fingers. “I am never letting you pack our getaway bag again.”

Bucky matches your smirk and strides over to you, close enough that you have to tip your chin up to remain eye contact. “You can choose not to wear it,” he shrugs and the nonchalant gesture makes your legs weak. Slowly, he starts unbuttoning his own pants and shirt, stripping himself of his clothes and tempting you to break that eye contact. “But we’re sharing a bed, so you decide what is less tempting for me to look at.”

It takes everything inside of you not to balk at this… flirtation. But it’s nice – so fucking nice to deflate that balloon of tension after a mission like the one you had tonight. To have banter and humour and perhaps a little friendship.

“I better not catch you looking at all,” you snipe, but have a hard time keeping the smile off your face.

Bucky smiles too then and gives you a wink powerful enough to set your clothes aflame. “Too bad. You can’t ask that of me and look like that.”

That does render you a bit speechless and Bucky takes his win as he strips himself to his boxers. Climbing under the sheets, Bucky’s powerful body shifts and ripples with movement.

This is going to be a long night.

#ok this is NOT worth the wait #but its here which is a HUGE win for me #i hope you like it #not me being way too impatient to write a slow burn #the upcoming smut better be good too #pls tell me what u think i have obviouslty not forgotten about you guys #<3 #rebellion series #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #writing #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes oneshot #oneshot #series