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macfrog · 4 months

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the sweetest con cowboy like me chapter fifteen

well. this is it. we made it, kids. thank you so, so much for reading for all this time. for all your patience, and kindness, and loyalty. i will carry this pair, their story, and all of your love for them with me forever. love you guys. xx

pairing: dbf!joel miller x fem!reader

summary: every cowboy deserves his ride off into the sunset.

warnings: age gap (reader is 23, joel is 48), lotsa guilt from reader, dreamy love sequence & mention of unprotected piv/creampie, more greys anatomy spoilers, reader's dad is either Bald or has a Receding Hairline (you choose), more sex - this time reader and joel sixty-nine, face sitting, oral (f and m receiving), more (inferred) unprotected piv, making dirty, hot love ALLAT, cursing, a little smut n a lotta fluff n a droplet of angst at the end

word count: 10.8k

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“How the fuck did this take you three minutes? Three?”

“I’m telling you. I’m a genius.”

You snort. “Shut up. You only passed Math ‘cause you were fooling around with that nerd – Thomas? Was it Thomas?”

“Timothy. And you don’t need math to do a sudoku puzzle, loser. You just need brains. Logic.” Anna taps two fingers against her temple, tilting her head.

“Logic,” you murmur, shaking your head.

Sal’s is quiet today. He’s out of town for his father-in-law’s funeral and made the genius decision to leave the two of you in charge. Since opening at nine, you’ve had four customers. The to-do list left for you was completed by ten, and since then, you’ve been hunched over your phone at the cash register, messing around on some puzzle app Anna made you download.

It's a Wednesday. Nothing exciting ever happens on Wednesdays.

Anna’s behind you, tearing apart and flattening the cardboard boxes you spent all morning emptying. “That level,” she clicks her chewing gum wetly between her teeth, scent of mint over your shoulder, “that ain’t even the hardest one. Ooh, no, babe. Three goes –”

“Shh!” You bat her arm away, curving your hand over your phone screen. She snorts and wanders off through the back, wad of cardboard under her arm.

Anna wasn’t your closest friend in high school, and you sure didn’t stay much in touch past the odd Facebook post update when you left. But working with her, and her dad being your dad’s buddy – she’s sort of become one of those people you just can’t shake.

Like a stray puppy. Or…an annoying hangnail.

She’s nice enough – talks a lot of crap sometimes, but she cares for you. You’d go as far as saying you two have grown pretty close since you came home. Still, the acidic sting of resentment sits on your tongue, anytime you think of her involvement in the unravelling of your little lie. Think of your dad calling hers, Hank asking her where you were.

Think of the fact that, if she hadn’t been honest with him – I don’t know where she is, Dad – nothing would’ve gone wrong.

That’s not fair. If you’d never touched Joel in the first place, nothing would’ve gone wrong.

It’s just – she had a hand in pushing the first domino.

The bell above the door jingles and you lift your eyes from tiny numbers and blank squares to meet a familiar pair of hazel. An Alanis Morissette T-shirt under a denim jacket. She tucks her thick, soft hair behind her ears and smiles, then skips around the counter and links her hands at your tummy; her ear flat against the nape of your neck.

“Why so clingy?” you ask, and Sarah straightens up.

“Just excited to spend some time with my favorite person. That allowed?”

Your eyes scan her up and down as she leans against the counter, stealing a gummy from a jar beside the register. “Been staying with you for nearly three weeks now, you ain’t sick of me yet?”

She shakes her head, jaw chewing, cheeks swollen with a grin. “Are you done yet? I wanna make sure we get good seats.”

“We will,” you assure her. “It’s only, like, three p.m.”

“But it’s Barbie,” she says, “and I wanna get some snacks before we head in.” She holds the decapitated gummy worm up, eyebrows high, before pulling it between her teeth until it snaps. She drags the withered red tail over her tongue.

“That thing you just mauled,” you gesture to the masticated shape in her fingers, “candy. Snacks. Just take some of that.”

“You won’t even buy your date movie theater candy? Damn. Mom’s a cheapskate. Wish I could say my dad’s a lucky guy.”

You shove her off, disguising your laugh with a shake of your head. “You are on thin ice, I’m not even kidding.”

Sarah’s laughing, reaching for another worm. “You know what that sounds like?”

“Hm?”

“What you just said.”

“What’s it sound like, Sarah Miller?”

“Something a mom would say.”

“Alright,” you stand, “get out. Get outta my store.”

The door opens when you point to it, Texan heat sweeping in to swarm the one rickety fan you have in here. The brass bell trembles, and beneath it, a man in a tucked shirt and jeans, glum face and tired eyes.

You blink at him and he blinks back, and no words are spoken between you, but your dad understands to move, to keep walking – and you understand to let him.

“Shoot,” Sarah whispers, twisting her gummy around her finger. “That was awkward.”

Three weeks of staying with them – Sarah and Joel – also means three weeks of zero contact with your dad. The most you’ve heard from – or, rather, about him is that, last week, Joel bumped into Hank at the gas station, and the old man mentioned that he and your dad had grabbed a beer the night before.

What’d he say? you asked Joel, dragging a dish towel around the rim of a glass.

He shrugged, flicking his hands dry over the sink. Said the Rangers aren’t doin’ too good. I said, Yeah, that’s cause a’ –

No, Joel. What did he say about me ‘n my dad?

He waited a second to let the offense of your interruption soak in. Took the towel from your hand, replaced the glass on the draining board. Nothing, he said, I don’t think he knows.

It sat with you the entire night. The three of you watched a movie, occupying either side of Joel’s couch, though you’re sure you don’t remember a word of it. The image of him sat center-stage in your mind until you pulled yourself against Joel’s body in bed that night. Sat in his recliner, flicking through TV channels, the only sounds in the house that of Ice Road Truckers, the ticking of the kitchen clock, and his own fucking breathing.

Alone. Not even Hank to talk to about – well.

You’ve done your best not to think about him. And it works, most days, when you’re with Joel. Helps to go do stuff: ride shotgun while he picks up supplies for work or grabs groceries. Helps to play pretend like his house is yours, too. Tidying when he’s not home, lighting candles and sinking into a bubble bath for him to find you in when he finishes. Helps to be at Sal’s, with Anna. Sudoku and her fucking Tinder account to keep you both occupied.

Most days, you forget to consider the lonely shape of your dad at all – but that seems to hurt all the more. Like forgetting to tend to an open wound; instead, letting the infection blister and bubble so that, when you do bump it again, the pain feels sharper. Hissing at you, poison seeping from flesh.

His showing up, waltzing straight into the store – feels less like a bump, and more like a pair of hands diving straight into the gash, tearing it wide open again. Blood and poison gushing all over the checkered floor.

Anna materializes between two aisles, hands on her hips when she stands behind you. “Y’all still not really talkin’?” she asks.

You and Sarah shake your heads. The three of you watch the shape of your dad’s skull over the shelves, bobbing from bay to bay. Door hinges to fence paint. He painted the fence last summer. He doesn’t need fucking fence paint.

“Nope,” you reply. “’s been, what, two and a half weeks now?”

“Yeah,” Anna mutters, the slope of sympathy in her voice. “My dad’s been talkin’ to him about it. They’ve spoken, like, almost every night on the phone.”

“Oh, fuck,” you hiss, head falling into your hands. “Are you serious?”

“Not about you and Joel. Just about the fight.”

Your jaw slowly slackens, eyes thinning as your gaze slides over to your friend, a saddened expression on her face.

Sarah nods, like an accessory sat on the dash of a car. Bobbing bobbing bobbing, until her brows drop and she turns to you, finally realizing. “Wait, what?”

Anna blinks between the two of you. “What?” she asks, lips pressing together.

“You know?” Sarah asks, glaring at her.

Anna snorts. Neither of you break. She quickly quietens and clears her throat, bending to stuff more cardboard under her arm. “Well…” She sucks in a deep breath. “At rodeo night, when you left your phone on the table, me ‘n Kara wanted to leave a bunch of selfies for you to find later. But when I went to grab your phone, you had a text from him. Joel. Something about someone winning you over like he did, or something. I can’t remember. But that was the first thing.”

Sarah’s face sours at the mention of her dad’s flirty text, scoffing as she swipes another gummy from the jar. “Real fuckin’ subtle, Dad,” she murmurs.

You sharpen your gaze at Anna, blurring the brown curls and low brows from your peripheral. “Uhuh…?”

“Then, there was the lying to your dad about where you were. That Monday – you said you were at mine. You weren’t. Your dad called my dad to ask, ‘n my dad asked me why the hell you’d lie. I figured, What a weird coincidence, right?”

You slip off your stool, legs feeling more liquid than bone. “Oh, Jesus…”

“But then…then, I saw how you were when he called on the way to Frank’s. In the car. You were…fucking weird. And then Joel punched that dude – that basically confirmed it. I don’t think either of your dads would do that for me. It felt…it felt personal. He took your hand ‘n dragged you outta there, and it felt like…somethin’ else.”

You’re leaning against the counter, head in your hands. Struggling to even listen to her piece it all together. Were you this fucking obvious, the whole time?

Anna answers for you. “Yeah,” she says, nodding, “I didn’t catch two fucking boyfriends cheating on me, and not pick up some detective skills, babe.”

You stand straight, composure slowly building over shame. “And your dad doesn’t know? My –” you flick your head across the store, lowering your voice, “– my dad hasn’t told him?”

A laugh spurts from somewhere deep in her chest. “Hell, no. Are you tryna give him a second heart attack? No. He just thinks you were somewhere you didn’t want your dad to know – a boy’s or something. Which – well, I guess you were.”

You nod, half-appreciation, half-resignation. Alright. Now shut up about it, would you?

“But listen,” Anna says, apparently not as good at mindreading as she is at secret-revealing, “y’all gotta work on being sneaky. You’re, like, really bad at it.”

“Yeah,” you sniff, “thanks, Anna.”

You grip the edge of the counter and try to draw your eye away from your dad; a little angry that he’s here, and yet, a little more thankful that you’ve had at least a tiny glimpse of him. Desperate for him to come over, to acknowledge your mutual existence in the same room, and yet – petrified that he does.

He keeps his back to you, though you notice him turning every so often, looking at you from his peripheral. Nope – your black shirt and blue jeans are still behind the counter. He turns back to the shelf.

“Hi, sweetie.” A woman in a pink blouse approaches the counter. She lays down a couple pairs of plyers and you ring her up, asking if she found everything okay. Choking a little when you inhale the scent of her perfume.

“Beautiful day for you to be in here workin’, huh?” Her rosy cheeks fill as she hands you the cash.

Oh, yeah. It’s a beautiful day to be stuck selling plyers to pink women in pink blouses smelling of pink perfume, while my dad – still reeling from the revelation that I’ve been sleeping with his best friend, by the way – pretends to peruse the store.

“I’m almost done,” you reply, blunt enough to deflate her expression only a little, sliding the paper bag stamped Sal’s back across the counter.

She nods in thanks and slinks off, suffocating aroma following her. And like a magician, when she disappears off to the side, your dad stands in her wake. A few feet from you, keeping his distance, watching carefully before he dares to move. Waiting for your go-ahead.

When you lift your chin, beckoning him forward, Anna takes Sarah’s arm and yanks her away, shoving some shredded boxes into her arms. “You wanna help me?” she asks the nosy Miller, tossing something of an alarmed glance back at you and your dad.

There’s a funny feeling behind your eyes when he steps up, empty hand resting hesitantly on the counter. “She coverin’ up the smell of a dead body or som’?” he asks.

The air pushes from your lungs, a laugh barreling with it. Your hands clasp on the surface opposite his. A scorch of white heat at the nape of your neck. “Very vibrant, huh?”

“Very.” He clears his throat, shakes his head a little, and takes a deep breath. “I figured this might be as good a place as any to find you. I didn’t want you to think I was…cornering you, or anything, if I showed up at Joel’s.”

“I wouldn’t – I mean, maybe. But, y’know…this is fine.” Your arms cross defensively, the baggy material of Joel’s shirt wrapping snug around you.

Your dad seems to know. Evidence being that it’s you, in a shirt all too big – a shirt he’d likely see his best friend in, too. It forces your arms tighter, sucking in the scent of Joel to combat the dizzying feeling of nerves.

“I’m glad to see you’re alright,” he says eventually, fingers drumming awkwardly. “I just wanted to know you were fine.”

“I am fine. I promise. Just – working a lot.”

He nods, looking down to his feet. Twists the toe of his boot into the linoleum.

“I’m glad to see you’re alright, too,” you offer, the words fluid and spilling from one to the next – something forceful in their nature.

Your dad’s eyes lift at the same time that his cheeks do. Relief. “Thanks, kiddo. I actually – I was hopin’ that maybe we could talk. If you’re free. I don’t know what time you get off today.”

“I finish in ten minutes,” you say, and hope seems to paint across his face – washing away instantly when you add, “but I’m going to the movies with Sarah.”

He’s nodding again, eyes fixed back on his boots. “Right, right.”

“…But maybe once we’re done I can swing by?”

“Oh, well – I’m workin’ late again. I’ll be out by the time…Yeah. Sorry, hon.”

“That’s okay.”

“Late one again tonight.”

“This, uh – what’s his name again? Kel–?”

“Kelman, yeah. Yeah. How ‘bout I call you tomorrow ‘n we can work somethin’ out? You and Sarah, you enjoy your night.”

You lean back from the counter, slowly more confident in your ability to hold yourself upright. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Dad.”

His lips press together in a flat attempt at a smile. “I’ll leave you to it. You mind if I…give you a hug?”

And then you’re the one awkwardly, forcedly smiling. Your teeth gritting behind taut lips. “Not at all,” you whisper, and wander carefully around the counter to where he stands.

He opens his arms and pulls you against his chest, your head tilting to rest your ear on his shoulder. You hook your arms under his, feeling his wrists crossing at your spine. Like two statues, two figures of stone fixing their crumbling bodies in an embrace, suddenly disjointed and ill-fitting. Your heart hurts beneath layers of rock, swelling in attempt to reach for his, shrinking back crestfallen when he feels too far.

He kisses the side of your head, pulls away, and taps your cheek once. “You know,” he says, letting you withdraw from his grasp, “I really miss you.”

You nod. “Miss you, too.”

“Let’s talk soon, alright?”

“Yeah.”

And then he’s leaving, drifting back out into the summer sun, rock disintegrating as the light catches him again. More human, less monster-under-your-bed. He’s just your dad again, just that swaying, bumbling man who used to sprinkle rainbow flakes over your ice cream and double-knot your laces.

The shadows of Sarah and Anna appear at your elbows, the three of you watching your dad sink into his car. You still feel made of rock, splitting somewhere down the middle as you stare at his figure.

“Well?” Sarah asks.

He turns right out of the parking lot, disappears behind a hedgerow.

“Yeah,” you reply, turning in a daze. “We’re gonna…gonna talk.”

“That’s good, right? That sounds…promising.”

You shrug. “I guess.”

Sarah places a gentle hand on your arm, drawing your attention to her kind eyes and infectious smile. “We should probably get goin’,” she says, and you agree.

“What movie are you seeing?” Anna asks, filling your spot behind the counter as you turn, making for the back of the store.

“Barbie,” Sarah tells her.

“Nice. She paying?”

“Obviously. Mom duties.”

You kick the door closed on their giggles.

Two days pass without a word from your dad. No text, no call, no visit to Sal’s when you’re on shift the following day. By Monday, you’ve convinced yourself that the entire thing was a dream, a hallucination conjured up by your imagination in attempt to rid you of some of the guilt still chewing at your heart. Bat it out of your brain, like swatting the rear end of a wild animal let loose indoors.

Guilt which is only remedied, only soothed by Joel. By the feeling which overcomes your chest when you look at him – lungs faltering, heart leaping. The peace of falling asleep in his safe embrace, the heat from his body enough to keep you comfortable all night, and then waking up tangled in his sheets – the smell of bacon and eggs twirling through the house, the distant sound of his humming drawing you downstairs to his side.

Late nights on the porch, watching the sun bleed heavily into the sky. Your ankles in his lap, a guitar over his thigh. Thumb gentle on the strings, soft timbre of song lulling you to some place far from reality: the same rosy, dreamlike state you’ve mostly occupied since he dragged you through his front door, kicked your shoes and all of your worries to the side, and made you forget that anything bad had ever happened.

The most comfortable you’ve ever felt in your life, the most loved – a world where your every word is heard and weighed, rolling around Joel’s palms and slotting carefully into his back pocket. A world where his lips on your neck as you make dinner, where the crook of his arm catching you as you pass by, is all normal. Where I love you and I love you, too become the last words your sleepy ears hear at night, right before you sink into a shared sleep.

All of it becoming as natural as the pale moon switching for her golden sister at dawn. As instinctive as breathing.

“Have you ever made love to anyone?” you ask him one night, the aftershock of an orgasm still soaking into your skin.

Joel pauses, hips slowing between yours. “Yeah,” after a couple beats, “sure.”

“What’s it feel like?” you ask, honestly. Combing his dark hair through your fingers. “I’ve never…No one’s ever…”

“Baby,” he says. “We’ve done it. I’ve done it to you.”

Your body tenses and then melts around him. One blink and suddenly the world softens, seems to bow into the background – the only sharp object Joel, the twinkle in his eye piercing through the haze like blinking white stars in thick, dark clouds.

You whisper, “Can you do it again? So I can feel what it’s like?”

He pushes himself up, one elbow planted by your ear, the other hand lifting your thigh. Hooking it over his waist, lowering his arm again to cage you under his body. He nudges your chin with his nose, lifting it to line your lips with his, hold every part of your body as close to his as he can.

Deeper, in every sense of the word. Slow, hard. Eyes on you the entire time, watching the way your face contorts and your jaw slackens, holding the shape of your head in his hands, swallowing his own moans and grunts to make space between you for yours.

“Look at me, baby, eyes on me,” he says, and by instinct, your eyes roll forward, focusing or half-focusing on the slick hair at his forehead, the red flush climbing his neck, seeping into the skin under his beard. “You feel it? Feel where I’m goin’?”

And yeah, you whine, you do feel it. Feel him dragging you further away from this world and into the next – somewhere a plain away, somewhere new and different to anything you’ve ever known before. Where physicality is a language, a fluid conversation between the melding of his body and yours; where there are a million words swirling around his pupils, hypnotizing and entrancing and drawing you in until you’re tumbling headfirst into the inky pools.

Where I love you sounds like the groan Joel can’t hold back, feels like the pulsing flood as he snaps between your legs. Where making love is as simple as the squeeze of his hand around yours; the shove of his plate over the kitchen table, offering you the last bite of grilled cheese or simply admitting that it was yours before he’d even taken the first. That addictive laugh of his when you stall the fucking truck for the fifth time: You asked me to teach you, baby, I’m tryna teach you. Foot on the gas, c’mon. You got it. That’s it – now, slow. Slower. Try to feel it. No, really feel it.

Feel it. Really, try to feel it. Can you feel it? Do you know the difference yet? The difference between everyone who was before, and the one who is now? Do you finally get it?

“I feel it,” you cry out, and his frame holds yours together as you fall apart.

It feels like – you.

How did I ever know anything before I knew you?

“That one’s nice,” Joel says, his voice jumping the short distance between his lips and your ear.

You tilt your head, body moving with his when he lifts his hand to swipe through some more of the images. The spacious living room, newly refurbed kitchen, the view of downtown Los Angeles.

He adjusts the blanket draped over your legs. “Washer dryer, walk-in closet,” and then, leaning in closer, whispers, “a balcony. That’s cool.”

“Hm,” you turn to face him, your body shelled by his in the corner of his couch, “I bet you like the balcony, cowboy.”

He smiles plainly in response, squeezing your nose between two knuckles. Yeah. Lots you can do with a balcony.

A sharp gasp from across the room pierces the sweet moment. You and Joel turn in its direction, its owner wide-eyed and blinking at the TV.

“Wait a second,” Sarah yelps. “George is the John Doe?” She gasps again when Meredith announces the same news to her friends onscreen. “Shut – the fuck – up!”

“Language,” Joel clips, chest rumbling between your shoulder blades.

“Oh, like you didn’t have the exact same reaction. George is the…Oh, that sucks. Are you kidding me?” She fishes her phone from the waves of blanket surrounding her, thumbs rapidly typing, eyes shooting from screen to screen.

You snort, turning back to your own phone in your hand, when a text appears at the top of the screen.

Dad: Hey kiddo. Sorry to keep you waiting, work been hectic. Off the rest of today if you’re free to come over.

Your thumb latches onto the message, holding it for Joel to read, too, before letting it disappear off into your notifications.

He tightens his hold on you, burying his nose into the cotton of his own hoodie over your shoulders. His breath pushes heavy and thoughtful across the material. “Still seems as calm as the other day.”

“Too calm,” you admit, “it’s freaking me out.”

“What can he do, you know? You’re here, he’s there. Your dad ain’t an idiot, baby. He knows stayin’ angry about it’s only gonna push you further away.”

“Sure made ‘im feel like an idiot…”

Joel catches the comment and pockets it before it gathers enough weight to bruise. “Well,” he clears his throat, “it’s up to you. I ain’t letting you do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Mhm,” you reply, and wait for more words to fall to your tongue. An answer, a response. A decision that you know you don’t feel equipped or even rightful to make.

“Do you want to go talk to him?” Joel asks.

“I…I want to make things right. I wanna fix it.”

“Okay. And will talking to him do that?”

You turn to face him, frowning. “I don’t fucking know,” you mutter. “Will it?”

He smiles sympathetically. “Wish I knew, darlin’. Would it help if I came? Sat outside in the truck, waited for you? It gets too much, you decide you wanna leave – we leave.”

“You ain’t scared to be near him again?”

He gulps back a laugh, Adam’s apple bobbing awkwardly before he allows himself to answer. “Only thing scary about your dad is the sunlight reflectin’ off his damn head. No, I ain’t scared.”

You study him a minute longer, eyes roaming from the lips you could sketch every score of from memory, the beard you’re sure has forever altered your prints from the number of times you’ve run your fingers over the bristles. The eyes which know every secret, every whisper, every thought behind your own.

You sigh, smiling dumbly as he wraps his arms tighter around you. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Joel pulls up by the curb, parking politely at the end of your driveway rather than alongside your dad’s car, like he usually would. Like he used to.

You crane your head, looking past the shape of him to survey the unassuming house. Quiet, still. No sign of hurricane or earthquake, no tremors of rage or words like rocks raining down on the truck roof. Your thumb plunges into the buckle of your seatbelt, the webbing whipping over your shoulder.

“Sure you’re okay?” Joel asks, watching your fingers lift to the door handle.

“Mhm,” you reply, distant. “’s just my dad, right? What’s the worst that could happen?”

His eyebrows lift, agreeing. He takes your hand in his and holds it to his lips. “Whatever it is,” he mumbles into your fingers, “if it happens, you come straight back out here, you hear? I ain’t moving.”

The urge to stay exactly where you are and let him carry you off back to his place overwhelms you for a brief second. To stay in the safety of the truck cabin, stay within touching distance of Joel. And as quickly as it’s there, it’s gone. Overcome by the memory of that stony hug in Sal’s, the vacant, lonely eyes boring into late-night TV.

A sharp chap over your shoulder shocks you back to life. You twist in your seat, looking down at a face wrinkled by curiosity and wisdom, sheen of lipstick curved in a mischievous grin. You roll the window down, mirroring her smile.

“Joel Miller,” Rita calls, lowering her ring-adorned fist and pointing over to her car. “Help me with these groceries.”

“Afternoon to you, too, Rita,” he calls back, and she raises two thin, penciled eyebrows. His sigh trickles into a chuckle as he snaps the door open, leaning into you. “I ain’t moving,” he mutters, swinging out of the truck.

“Sure looks like you’re movin’,” you call back, letting Rita pull on your door to let you out.

“How are you, darlin’?” she asks. “Haven’t seen you around in a while.”

You hop down beside her, helping her tug the shawl around her arms back over her shoulders. “Yeah, I’ve, uh…I’ve been busy.”

She nods, and then her eyes drift to somewhere behind you. “They go in the kitchen, son.” She points to her house. “I’ll come help you unpack ‘em.”

Joel’s face twists, eyes wide, hands outstretched. You swallow back a laugh when he looks to you, an almost teenage expression which asks, You seein’ this? as he turns back to the Nissan.

“I better go,” Rita says then, giving your arms one last squeeze. “You take care, now. Tell your dad I’m askin’ after ‘im.”

“I will, Rita.” You turn on your heel and saunter around Joel’s truck, giving him one last twirl as he hoists two bags under his muscled arms, rolling his eyes as you spin.

You pull the weight of yourself up your drive, passing past versions of yourself as you near the front door. She’s stumbling towards her dad’s car, a bucket of soapy water sloshing around between her knees. She’s sat on the curb, waiting for Joel’s truck to roll up, praying she never hears another Marty Robbins song again.

She’s naïve, still. Knows no better, knows no worse. Chasing a high, chasing the thrill of being caught and the thrill of nobody ever knowing. A relationship built entirely on lies and deceit. A love woven with dark threads of shame and anger, a tattered mess in one corner where the edges fray and loosen.

And you think: you’ve never felt more jealous of anybody your whole life.

The front door clicks open easily, like the building welcomes you home with a relieved sigh. You follow sunlight into the hallway, feeling it easier to walk through than before – less dense, less suffocating. Less guilty. An honest thief, back to return the bleeding heart she dragged out the door with her.

Secrets like shards of broken glass on the floor, debris from that day. And as if he hears the crunch of your footsteps, your dad appears at the bottom of the hall.

“Hi, hon.”

Eyes wide with a misplaced shock, you say, “Hey.”

“You okay?”

“’m good.”

“Good. Come in, come through.” He beckons you forward, a smile only half-forced on his lips. “You want a drink or anything?”

You follow him into the kitchen, politely accepting a glass of water when he offers it.

He turns with two steady palms on the island, watching as you drag a chair free and sit at the table. “How’s Joel?” he asks, swallowing roughly.

The words come delayed, your open mouth lying in wait. Your body selfishly trying to hoard the information, protective the second the image of that six-foot, two-hundred-pound man crosses your mind. “He’s fine. He’s out front.”

It sounds like a warning, though you don’t mean for it to. Just conversation. He’s helping Rita with her groceries. She’s asking after you, by the way. But your dad seems to sense the natural amber tone of it – the sparking of a flame, daring to catch. He’s waiting for this to go south.

He nods, accepting the fact of it. His own failed attempt to separate the two of you only drove you closer together. Only made you want Joel more.

But then he’s nearing you again, pulling out the chair opposite yours. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says, settling with a sigh. “Glad we’re…we’re talkin’ again, at least.”

Your head angles. “Are we?”

His body jerks, flinching from the sting of the question. “Well,” his head wobbles, jowls quivering, “I sure hope so. I was takin’ it as a good sign that you’re here.”

“I’m here,” you repeat, “but that doesn’t mean I’m staying.”

“No, I know. I know. Joel’s out front, ‘n all that.” He looks down at his hands, clasped in his lap. Holds his tongue behind his front teeth, waiting for the next turn of conversation.

You lean forward, elbows on the table, softening your voice. “Dad?” you say, and he looks up. “This whole entire thing – I think…I think we oughta try and understand each other, a little better. Hear each other out.”

“I am tryin’, hon. I’m really tryin’. You dealt me an awful lot to hear out ‘n understand.”

You rock back, sinking against the hard chair. Tracing the wood grains in the table, nails digging between. Shame coiling like a snake beneath your tongue, taking up too much space in your mouth. Its venom dripping between your teeth, acrid and sour; tendons in your neck jumping with the bitterness of your dad’s tone.

He sighs. “Be honest with me a second.”

“Huh?”

He waits a beat, watching you carefully. Opens his mouth, pauses, and then speaks. “Who instigated it?”

Your finger pushes harder into the surface. Digging new divots. “Um…kinda both of us. Was sort of a two-way thing from the get-go.”

His lips twist, almost imperceptible. He looks behind you to the patio outside. You can’t read what’s in his eyes. It makes you say more, say things you reckon you’ll regret later – but something to fill the silence between you. Something to let him sink his teeth into.

“There was flirting. Lotta flirting. And then it…it just sort of snowballed.”

“Snowballed.” He looks uncomfortable, lifting his hands to cup over his face. “I just didn’t take him as the type,” he says, muffled into his palms.

“As what type?”

He drops his hands, hitting his thighs with a slap, and looks you dead in the eye. Sad, almost. “Arthur Kennedy type.”

“He’s not.”

You say it instinctively. Your ears hear it at the same time your dad does. He looks at you blankly.

“He’s not,” you repeat, a little looser. Less hasty. “Look,” you sigh, “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but…everything that we ever did, I wanted to do. I already told you. There ain’t nothing we did that I didn’t ask him to. I swear to you.”

You think back to the cookout, how angry Joel was at the thought of Arthur Kennedy hanging over you. How pissed he’d be, hearing your dad line him up against that old leather boot of a man. Comparing, contrasting. Here’s how you measure up, son. How much of a phantom Arthur Kennedy has been, your whole life, and how much of a sanctuary Joel is in comparison.

Your stomach twists at the thought. A tight knot, wound by a desperation to clear the name of a man whose worst offense was doing exactly what your dad would’ve told him to: leave.

“This whole thing,” you go on, “it’s a mess, alright? It’s – totally fucked. And we shouldn’t’ve lied, shouldn’t’ve been keeping things from you, but then…what did you expect?”

Your dad cuts in like a bullet: “I expect the two of you not to do what you were doin’.”

“No, I know that. But we did it, right? It’s done now. I meant, did you really want us to sit you down in the living room ‘n say, Hey, Dad – guess what?”

He grimaces at the thought.

“Didn’t think so. We didn’t even know what it was. We had no idea what it’d turn into. But you gotta hear me out: it wasn’t just…some fling, or whatever you’re thinkin’. I swear, Dad, it wasn’t.”

He still doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t lift his stare from the table. You feel like a little kid, desperate to make him love you again. Desperate to make him listen. The space between you fills with the bored tick tick tick of the kitchen clock. Each second hurting a little more than the last.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry I let you down, but…I’m not sorry that I did it. If I could go back, knowing everything I know – I’d do it all over again.”

The words roll across the table to him like billiards. You lean back again, watching them as they rattle from his side to yours – your sentence delivered back into your ears. You nod, a sure thought in your mind.

I’d do it all over again. All the covering, all the hiding. The aching, the wishing and wanting. Staring at Joel’s empty hand, dying to slot yours into it. Dying to put any part of yourself near him; your head under his chin, your arms linked around his waist. Knowing you two would feel, knowing everyone else would see, just how perfectly you fit together.

The chasing your own tails: Did you lie well enough? Do they suspect anything? Did we leave any evidence? Disturbed sheets, a collar still upturned. Can they hear us? Have they noticed we’re missing? We’re always fucking missing.

You’d do it all over again. You know what it cost, now, sat directly opposite the price. His polite smiles like veneers over rotten teeth. The tremble in his lip when he opens his mouth to speak.

And it was worth it. Joel. He was worth it all, in the end.

All over again.

“Do you know that every time I look at you, there are…probably four versions that I see?”

You frown. Did he hear what you just said? All ov–? “What?”

Your dad laughs to himself. “When you walk outta that door, I see a little pink backpack over your shoulders. Gym bag in your hand, maybe. I see missin’ front teeth, I see those little clip-on earrings you used to love so much.

“And – and when you’re mad at me, when we fight, I see you at fourteen. Growing pains, y’know? I still remember you slamming your bedroom door in my face, all ‘cause I wouldn’t let you go to that girl Molly’s birthday party.” He looks up, smiling at your perplexed expression.

“I don’t even…remember that, hardly.”

“Long time ago now. My point is,” he continues, “you’re twenty-three. You’re grown. And I just can’t figure out how to make those other versions…grow with you. You still feel like my kid. Still that little girl with the pink backpack.”

“But,” you clear your throat, trying to swipe her from your own memory, “I’m not. I’m not her anymore, Dad. And I think maybe you gotta give me the space to be someone different, now.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, nodding. “I know, I know. I just didn’t think this new version of you would…y’know. Be with Joel, ‘n all. That is something I did not see comin’.”

“You think I did?” You spit a laugh. “If you told me when I came home that this is what was waiting for me…that I was gonna fall…”

Your teeth close around the sentence, dropping your dad’s eye. But it’s too late.

He stares back at you like the sun. “…Fall in love with ‘im?”

And you cower. You wince, almost. The last secret. The last thing he doesn’t know. “I don’t…I don’t know, I –”

“You love him. You do, don’t you?”

Your thumbs run circles around one another, fingers locking until your knuckles hurt. “I don’t know,” you mumble, wishing for the tenth time since you sat down that Joel was beside you, in front of you, around you.

“’s what Anna seems to reckon.”

Your eyes flit up. “Anna?”

He hums. “She is her father’s daughter. A damn meddler. She called here, last night.”

“Oh, Jesus,” you groan, head falling into your hands. “Ignore her, please. Ignore all of it. She doesn’t –”

He holds a palm up. “Now, hold on. You don’t even know what it was she said.”

You huff a sigh, twisting your hand in the air. Go on.

“She reckons you do love him. Reckons he loves you back. More, if that’s even possible, she said. Told me all about the way he stepped in front a’ that boy at Frank’s. About your face when he picked you up from rodeo night, how ecstatic you were. The difference she sees in you.”

“Difference,” you scoff, glancing out to the backyard. “What difference?”

“Same difference I see, probably. Same difference Bill said he saw, too: you’re happier. Even I can’t deny it, hon. It’s damn hard – you never make nothin’ easy on your old man – but…but I am willing to try.”

The hurt begins to slowly fizzle away. Cooling, washing from your skin like foamy waves. Curiosity left to shine through.

“You may not understand this ‘til you have kids of your own – if you have kids of your own – but there ain’t a thing in this world that I love more than I love you. And when you love somethin’ that much, you’ll do anything to stop it from getting hurt. Anything. That’s all I want you to know.”

A silence falls between you, thoughtful and waiting. The clock’s ticking grows sharper again. It seems to consider the same as you: there should be more to this. More to be said, to be convinced. More yelling, even.

But you arrive at the same conclusion, at near enough the same time: there is nothing more. Cards flat on the table, eyes pouring all over them. To question it, to second-guess any of it, would be to tempt fate.

“Anyway,” your dad sits forward, clasping his hands on the table, “tell me what’s goin’ on. What’s been happening in your world?”

You shrug. A little, shy thing. “Work. Been hanging with Sarah a lot. And I, uh, I had a job interview last week.”

“Oh, yeah? Where?”

You shift awkwardly in your chair. “For, uh…that one in LA. They called to offer it a couple days ago.”

A smile pulls across his lips. Growing, growing, growing until he’s grinning back at you. Pride, little bit of surprise. Whole lot of amusement and joy. “You take it?” he asks, figuring he knows the answer already.

“Not yet,” you reply. “Think I’m going to, though. ‘s too good to say no.”

He lifts his eyebrows in agreement, looking down at his hands. Shoulders lurch some under the weight of your news. “There goes that little backpack,” he mutters to himself, and you smirk.

“Can’t hold her back forever.”

“I never had a hold on her in the first place. You were walkin’ on outta that door the minute you found your own two feet.”

You snort. “Good! Good for me. Let me go out into the big ol’ world; let me go fuck it all up ‘n come home for dinner once I’m done.”

“I intend to,” your dad says, nodding along to every passionate word you say. And then he asks, “How’s Joel feelin’ about it all? About LA?”

Your shoulder jerks in a half-shrug. “He’s fine, I guess. Says he’ll miss me, but then – we haven’t exactly had the most typical relationship up until now. Survived a lot I reckon would break any normal couple…”

It’s the first time you think you’ve ever said it. Couple. You’ve thought of it – flicked through the words you might use to describe him. Your boyfriend, your partner. None of them seem to fit exactly who he is to you. None of them strong enough to carry the weight of what’s shared between you. He’s Joel. He’s your Joel. Nothing will ever come close.

Your dad hears it, too. The newness of it. The crisp shape of the word, not yet thawed to this new world. Your tongue still learning how to pronounce it, how to pair it with the image of Joel.

“Guess he can fly out ‘n visit whenever, right?”

“Yeah,” you swallow, “and I’ll be back here, too. Christmas ‘n all.”

Your dad smiles. Relieved, assured. Light slowly returning to his eyes.

“We’ll be fine,” your chest swells, “so Joel says. I trust ‘im.”

You both quieten, sitting back in your chairs. What once felt like a room ablaze, flames tearing the skin from your body as you dragged your heels through it – now feels like a gentle warmth. Waves wrought with enough power and force to destroy you, now seeping off with the change of the tide. Bumps on the horizon.

“Speaking of,” you say, making to stand, “I should probably get goin’.”

“Yeah. Yeah, hon.” Your dad follows, arm on your shoulder as he walks you down the hall.

The sun intrudes, tosses herself into your arms as you pull the front door open. In her golden-rayed wake sits that dark truck, same as always. The same dark tee, the same dark-speckled-gray hair. Arms folded, stood against the body, waiting. Eyes on the house, on your figure as you step down onto the doormat. Joel straightens when your dad follows you out, chest sucking in a ragged breath.

They look at one another, and that’s about it. Something of a nod from Joel – not quite returned by your dad. You figure that might take some time to come back around. And that’s okay. You can make peace with it.

You turn back. Your dad’s looking down at you, hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

“You know,” you take a deep breath, “the only times he’s ever hurt me, are the times he’s left. The times I haven’t had him around.”

And then you step back, the magnet in your chest telling you it’s time to return to its partner.

In high school, your English teacher tasked the class with writing a short story. Any genre you wanted, any word count up to two thousand. The boys mostly dicked around, wrote action-packed, blood-and-guts garbage. One girl wrote something you’re sure you’d seen in a Hallmark movie before.

But you – you spent two weeks straight, writing. Awake until all hours of the night, hunched over your laptop, sunbathing in the blue hue of an open document. Fingers hammering rapidly into your keyboard.

A man and a woman meet in Central Park. She – hair the color of rust, spilling down her shoulders and lifting at the ends, twisting around the fingers of the blustery wind. A red glow around her third finger where gold once lived. Sat on a bench, alone. Hiding, perhaps. And he – sharp suit and tie, clean-shaven, a steel-blue gaze that might cut glass. Missing the city traffic by taking a walk through the park on his way home. Fleeing, perhaps.

He notices her trench coat first. Bright red, a poppy swaying in the breeze. A little hopeless, a solemn wilt to it. The quickly dampening fire of her hair in the rain, the opaque sheen of polish chipping from her nails. And he thinks he recognizes the constellation of freckles painted across her cheeks. Thinks he might’ve mapped them, once, in some kind of past-life.

She looks up and realizes she recognizes the cut of his gaze. Piercing through her, splitting her in two. Thinks she might’ve felt it before, the opening of her soul to someone who looked just like him – a little more baby-faced, a little more spirited. In some kind of past-life, too.

She stands, and he slows, and they meet somewhere in the middle. Words exchanged; body heat transferred through hugs. Is that really you? You look so different. It’s been years. He doesn’t ask about the lack of jewelry on her third finger. She doesn’t ask about the gray circles beneath his eyes. Just, You wanna grab a coffee? and, Yeah. Yeah, I do.

They sit at the window, watch the yellow taxis and the black umbrellas and the trembling traffic lights. They talk about life then, life now, and silently agree to forget about the part in the middle. They look at each other the same way they must have before they lost one another, before life and love and everything else got between them.

They agree to meet again in a week. They swear that they will not fall back in love.

They know as well as each other that they’re really promising to do just that.

Love – twisted and turned over and over, until it’s a different shape altogether. We started as one thing, and we watched it shift into something completely different. Clay in the potter’s hands. Didn’t you think it might fall apart? There was a moment I thought the heat of the kiln might break us. I’m glad it didn’t. I’m glad we’re made of tough stuff.

I’m glad I found you again, in that park. The pissing rain and the wind so strong I felt it lifting the sense from my mind. In that hardware store, in that bar filled with weed and bad intentions. I’m glad you split me open, glad you could see the good that was still inside. I thought I’d lost her for a minute. Thought she’d forgotten her way home.

Let’s go get a coffee. Let’s pretend it’s always been this way.

Let’s fall in love. The rest will take care of itself.

It takes three weeks in total to properly pack up your things. Two days after you accepted the job, you bought boxes and tape, and began to dismantle the identity you’d spent twenty-three years creating for yourself, a little bit at a time. Taking apart the pink-walled museum of your life, artefact by artefact.

Joel has helped as much as you’ve let him. Laid back on your bed when you’ve dismissed him one too many times, raised his eyebrows and laughed with you whenever you come across some old, forgotten piece of memorabilia. Something ceremonial to it, something innocent and fun. Like a little graduation for all the parts of yourself.

Soon, as the last of the summer sun dampens outside, your room lies vacant. Empty of any real evidence of your being here. Bedsheets and pillows folded, packed away; framed photos and posters unpinned from the wall and wrapped up safely. Drawers and closets barren, left with a selection of your less-loved, less-worn clothes. A wardrobe built from stuff you’ll only ever wear when you come back home to visit, if even then.

Joel’s sat on the bare mattress, looking around your room. You’re stood opposite, leaning against your half-empty dresser. The sun filters feebly through your turned shades, averting her eyes.

You look over at him. Golden, like the sunlight outside. Warm, like the breeze through the trees. Yours. Yours yours yours.

“What?” Joel asks, his eyes having finally found their way back to you. He smiles at your focused expression.

“Nothing. I don’t know. Just…”

“Talk to me. Tell me.”

“You are – this is…” You sigh. “This is good. I think it’s good. Not just all the stuff we did. But you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you tell him. “You’re good for me.” You grip the wooden lip tighter, swaying nervously when you add, “But I think it was always gonna go this way, wasn’t it?”

He sniffs. Shoulders jerk in a weak shrug. “Yeah, I think so, baby.”

Your eyelashes flutter, soothing the prickling feeling of tears forming. “I don’t – I don’t know if I want it to.”

“Yeah,” Joel says through a groan, pushing himself up, “you do.”

You shake your head as he approaches, and his hands cup your cheeks.

“Hey,” he whispers, pulling your body tight against his. Your face buries in his chest; your tears wet on his shirt. He shushes you, rocks you gently back and forth with a hand on the back of your head. “Listen to me.”

“Joel –”

“Listen to me.” He pulls you back, swipes the tears from your cheeks as quickly as they fall. “We’re fine. We are going to be fine.”

“I don’t want to leave you –”

“I know, I know. But you want to go do this. And that’s okay. Both of ‘em, at once.”

Your head shakes again. Like an instinctive reaction to the thought of being separated from him.

Joel smiles softly. “I am going to miss you like hell. You got no idea. But,” he pulls your head back to face his, tucks your hair behind your ear, “I want you to go. You gotta go after this. Right?”

“I know,” you whisper, lungs lurching for breath. “I just – wish it didn’t mean leavin’ you.”

“Darlin’…” Joel coos, pulling you in again. “You know how much I love you? What do I keep tellin’ you? We’ll be alright. It’s you ‘n me, right?”

You nod, salty tears slipping between your lips onto your tongue. When you look up, you notice the same expression on Joel’s face. He blinks his own away before they fall.

“’s you ‘n me,” you repeat, and he pulls your lips together.

You roll your tongue onto his, letting him taste you – all of you. Your mouth, and your thoughts, and your tears, and your pain. You let him take it all, let him hold it for this moment as you breathe him in, let his body fill yours in every way.

Your hands are in his hair, your chest pressed against his; he’s every thought on your mind and every beat in your heart. He’s the blood thrumming through your veins, he’s the oxygen filling your lungs; he’s the words between your teeth and the flesh around your bones.

And he pulls you, and you follow, his shirt in your fist, over to the bed where he lays you gently and falls on top.

“When’s he get back?” he asks, taking your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Later,” you mumble, your fingers picking at the hem of his shirt.

He pushes back, letting you tug it up up up over his shoulders at the same rate he peels your tee from yours, both tossing each other’s clothes to somewhere else in the room. Jeans undone, shorts dragged from your hips, underwear discarded until you’re naked under him, and he’s naked over you, and there’s nothing and no one between.

Joel cradles you, holds you close as he presses a palm roughly against the underside of your thigh, opening your body to him in a way only he’s mastered. In a way you only would, for him.

His hand cups your sex, fingers nudging between your folds, pushing in when your jaw slackens and a wanton moan echoes from your throat across Joel’s tongue.

“Yeah,” he coos, wrist jacking between your legs, “’s my girl. Gotta get you warmed up, huh? Get you nice ‘n wet.”

Your back arches, arms linking around his neck to pull him closer, pull him deeper. Hold him tight enough to you that your bodies feel one, feel connected at the meeting of Joel’s hand and the most intimate part of you; the meeting of your tongues between teeth.

And you gasp, the nudging of his fingers against the deepest part of your body, the messy circles of his thumb on your clit. The shape of him, solid and warm against the seam of your thigh.

You reach down for him, wrapping your fingers around his cock, and his breath hitches. Teeth bump into yours. You’re fucking irresistible to him.

“Darlin’,” his voice is low, daring you to keep going, “you wanna cut this short ‘fore we’re even started?”

You breathe a laugh into his jaw, hot and needy. “You get to play with me,” you whine, “I wanna play with you, too.”

Joel growls, seizing his movements, leaning back in what you take as him granting full access to his body. But then he says, “Turn around,” in a strict voice you’ve come to know as meaning one thing, and you pause.

You peel your eyes from his dick to blink up at him. “Turn –?”

“– around, now.” He takes your waist, hoisting you up until you’re straddling him, holding you inches above his body. “Turn.”

“What the fuck are you –?”

“Many times do I gotta tell you? You said you wanted to play.” He twists your waist until you follow his movements, swinging one leg over the other. He grabs your hips, tugging you back towards his face. “So, play,” he mutters, lowering your cunt down to his lips.

You gasp, falling forward and hitting the mattress between his legs. “J– fuck me. Are you s-serious?” You moan, hips rocking against the feeling of his bearded chin at your clit. “You’re like – a fucking – horny teenager. Oh, fuck.”

Your head falls forward, hands splaying out over his thighs, before your eyes refocus and you notice the hardened shape of him, tip oozing precome all over the hair-spattered plain of his groin. Your hand lifts, shakily taking hold of him again, and you lean down.

Elbows hooked over his thighs, you bring his tip to your lips, letting a thick bead of saliva fall and drip down the length of him, meeting your closed fist to be dragged up and down.

Joel’s hips almost buck. He holds it, manages to catch it, but you spot it. You’ve done this too many fucking times not to notice the reaction you draw from him.

“’s good,” you whisper, circling your hips on his face, tongue slipping across his cherry-red tip. “Feels so good.”

He responds in the form of a deep groan, rattling from his chest through your clit, shocking like lightning up your spine until the very same noise is thrown from your lips. You push down, tongue molding around every vein and the slow curve of his cock until your lips meet the thick brush of hair at his base, his tip kissing the very back of your throat.

Your throat which jumps, jolts at the feeling of something intruding – before you’re retreating again, pulling him from your body, warm, wet spit linking the two of you when you come up for air. And then you sink back down, head moving up down up down up down as his stomach tenses beneath your chest.

Joel’s palms keep a heavy hold on your ass, his tongue lapping between your folds like they’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted – like he might die if he doesn’t get his fix of you. And you think, they are, and he might, as your cheeks hollow and you bow down over him again.

You establish a rhythm, two waves swirling between one another: your hips rocking, Joel’s lifting ever so slightly as you suckle on one another. Your hand fisting the parts of him you can’t quite reach, not without choking; Joel holding you fixed to his jaw, letting the tip of his tongue hook around your swollen clit, then dragging it down until he’s letting you ride the wet muscle.

The approach of your first orgasm, a tiny spark catching to life in the pit of your belly, incites you with a need to open up further for him. Your throat taking more of him, your thighs slackening as you drive your cunt harder against his mouth.

“’m so close,” you whimper, lips curving around his cock. “So – fucking – ah, keep doin’ that. Right th-there.”

His hands hook around your thighs, tongue darting across your clit. His nose nudges somewhere between your folds, quickly becoming coated in the slick you’re leaking all over him.

“Joel,” you say, fists pumping his cock. Your voice a warning: it’s coming. You’re gonna – Fuck, you’re gonna come.

His voice is looser, more of a shrug of the shoulders when he pulls away from you. He inserts two fingers, curls them like before, like he knows drives you fucking insane. “Let go, babygirl,” he murmurs, lips immediately returning to position. And then, muffled and rough: “Come all over me.”

“Fuckfuckfuck,” you pant, hands squeezing around his cock, feeling that same spark ignite into flame, your entire body bursting with heat.

Your high rips through you, battering through each vein in your system, each nerve electrified. You collapse between his legs, his rough pubic hair sticking to the sweat on your chest, hips rutting wildly against the sharp cut of his jaw.

The mattress absorbs most of the desperate moan which streaks across your tongue, nails digging hard into the flesh of Joel’s thighs. And you hear the deep sound of his voice, the thud thud thud of a chuckle against your clit: the cocky fucker laughing to himself as he unravels you for what feels like the thousandth time.

“Alright,” Joel says, more to himself than to the fucked-out shape of you between his legs. He sits up and shifts you carefully down the bed, settling you face-down on the mattress and lifting your ass to meet his hips. “Okay?” he asks, kneeling behind you.

You feel his tip between your legs, slotting happily somewhere in your opening. Waiting for your response. A response you don’t feel able to give, as much as you’d like to; your lips puffy and confused, words jumbling behind them in a tangle of bliss and love.

“Baby,” Joel says, hand slinking down your back, pressing gentle circles into the nape of your neck. “You okay?”

Your head lifts, glancing over your shoulder to see his hairy torso, his thick arms caging over you. He lifts your chin with two fingers, cranes your neck up until you’re looking into his eyes, heavy lids blinking dumbly.

“Just fuck me,” you whisper, and Joel slips his tongue into your mouth.

You used to dream of coming back home. A few years away, doing whatever you wanted, wherever you wanted. Dreaming things up and then chasing them until they happened. Tiring yourself out, lungs gasping for breath and eyes always searching, always looking for a new target to pin up. But always coming back.

Austin, Texas. Its jagged skyline, the streets lined with a vibrant glow and star-spangled bunting. The river like a silver-bellied snake slithering through. Home.

You dreamt of living out your days here, once your blood had slowed and your mind settled. A quiet life in the country, a big wooden house with a wraparound porch. Two little rocking chairs, so you and whoever your husband turned out to be could sit and watch the sky fade from red into orange into white and then dull gray into deep blue.

Breeze kissing your cheek, his lips kissing your knuckles.

Joel.

Home.

You tell him, and he smirks. “That so?” he asks, wrapping his arms a little tighter around your naked body.

You nuzzle your cheek into the palm of his hand, breathing in the sweet scent of sweat and sex sitting in the air. “Mhm. You could play guitar until the stars come out.”

He hums in agreement. “Sounds like a pretty good dream. Tell you what: you go to LA, do what you gotta do. By the time you come back, there’ll be a big ol’ farmhouse, wraparound porch, rollin’ fields for the dogs. Coffee ‘n sunsets. How’s that sound?”

“And you’ll be there?”

He smiles. Scoops you in one arm and rolls you onto your front, chest to chest with him. His fingers ghost down the curve of your shoulder. “Baby,” he whispers, “I built the damn thing.”

It forces a laugh from your chest, something you’ve gotten used to by now. Joel and his ability to steal a giggle from you, the dumbest moments seeming the funniest. “You’re gonna build me a damn house?” you ask, chin resting between his pecs.

“That what you want?”

Your head rocks left to right, considering. “I just want you. That’s all.”

“Then you got me. I’m all yours.”

In his hazel eyes lives every moment you’ve ever shared. Every conversation, every kiss, every fight. Every minute he’s spent looking for you or at you, every minute you’ve spent looking back at him. It’s all in there. You see it like a movie reel, frame by frame.

It lands like a slot machine on that first night. Cleaning up after pizza. Shoulder to shoulder by your kitchen sink. You wish you’d just kissed him. Even with your dad right there. Wish you’d lifted your heels and put your lips on his, just for the fucking hell of it. Just to condense all of it, every second of longing and hurt and pain into one fleeting moment.

Wish you’d pulled him into you, against you, the weight of his body like an old friend. Welcomed it with open arms, like you’d spent your entire life missing it, waiting for it to come back to you. Let yourself feel your own heart, peeling between the cage of your ribs, reaching out for his. Always reaching for him.

Wish you’d looked him in the eye, tears softening the tufts of graying hair, vignetting the smirk only you can tell is there. Looked at him in that knowing way, that language only you two know; the glint in your eyes translating a thousand messy words into three. Just three – the simplest, lightest words you’ve ever known.

I love you. Let’s skip to the good part.

#welp i didn't cry when i hit post. me? no. no way #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us #tlou #tlou fic #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #joel miller smut #cowboy like me

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argentisbeloved · 2 months

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Diluc, Dainsleif & Dan Heng as vampires

pairings: diluc, dainsleif & dan heng x gender neutral reader

cws: biting and blood drinking, some swearing, them burning in the sunlight, slight suggestiveness in dain’s part (not rlly it’s barely even one moan)

tags: them as vampires, hurt/comfort, modern au (dan heng), kissing, dan heng’s part is dialogue heavy

notes: diluc’s part is also inspired by an art the lovely @/mmmairon as well as a drabble by @/hiraya_rawr. also also i wanna say that dan heng has more of a modern au type of thing going for him, so just keep that in mind!

word count: 3911

DILUC RAGNVINDR: (1340 words)

•Diluc was turned during a near death experience in Snezhnaya. A passing vampire spotted his body bleeding out on the ground and decided the only way to save him was by turning him.

•Though, Diluc would've rather died on that night.

•After he was turned, and he experienced his first craving for blood, he went on a rampage that he'd quickly come to regret afterwards.

•Out of guilt of realising what he's done, he exiled himself into solitude. Opting to not go back home ever again in case he'd hurt someone in Mondstadt if he did go back. He resided in an abandoned manor that he'd fixed up over a century or two.

•Instead of drinking human blood, he drank animal blood instead. Though he'd never drink enough from them to fatally wound the animal.

•Meaning for a very long time, he'd been suppressing his cravings for human blood.

•And when you came into the picture, it wasn't pretty for him.

•You'd knocked on his door one late night seeking for shelter from a storm that was starting to form. While the logical side of his brain screamed at him to not let you stay, he inevitably let you inside for the night.

•He brewed you a cup of tea, and let you stay in one of the spare rooms. By morning, and after you left, he expected that to be the last time he'd ever see a human for another century or so.

•He was proved wrong when you showed up at his doorstep again late into the afternoon with some food to thank him for letting you stay the night.

•After this, you ended up visiting him more and more. You quickly noticed how he wouldn't answer a lot during the day, but you just assumed he was busy working (in reality, he refused to open the door to not get burned by the sunlight).

•Because of your frequent visits, you ended up befriending Diluc.

•And before he knew it, Diluc was falling completely head over heels for you, to his dismay.

•The thought of loving you terrified him greatly. He was a vampire and you were a human for goodness' sake! It could never work between you two! The thought of losing himself because of you, your scent, and your blood made him so scared. He didn't want to harm you, or worse, he didn't want to accidentally lose control and kill you.

•So, in hopes to drive you away; he decides to reveal himself to you. To reveal the monster he is to you.

A letter from Diluc had you walking to his manor in the middle of a warm spring day, something you wouldn't usually do. You figured that he had a day off from work today and that he wanted to spend it with you. The last part of that thought making your heart throb in your chest.

You soon approached the door to his manor, knocking gently on the door three times. It didn't take long before the dark oak doors opened to let you inside. You entered casually as Diluc held open the door for you, closing and locking it once you had fully entered his estate.

He led you over to the sitting room, placing a pre-made cup of tea in front of you, to which you quickly accepted and drank out of. The two of you conversed together for a little while, with everything being light hearted and fine, as it usually was.

That was until Diluc suddenly questioned you;

"How do you feel about me?"

His question caught you by surprise, your eyes widening and a small blush starting to coat your cheeks. You laugh awkwardly, trying to calm yourself down from how his question startled you.

You open your mouth, planning to say "You're a good friend of mine!" And while that isn't a lie, a friend isn't something only you want to be to him, you want to be something more.

"Please, tell me the truth."

His words catch you off guard for the second time in such a small period. You choke down your words and take a deep breath, before reluctantly saying your true feelings to him.

"I... I'm in love with you, Diluc."

In that moment, the light hearted air in the room had quickly dissipated. With the way Diluc's eyes widened with what looked like disbelief, shock and also fear?

"N-No... no... you can't love me, you shouldn't love me...!"

He says, his voice breaking midway through his declaration.

"Why not?"

You respond. You're nothing but confused right now, you've never seen him like this before. Diluc was a calm and rational man to you, so you'd never seen him like this before.

"Because!”

He shouts, standing up from the couch forcefully. He turns away from you, walking towards the tightly covered window.

"I'm nothing but a monster! You should love someone better than me!"

"Diluc, why are you talking about..!?"

Almost as if to answer your question, he pulls the curtains apart, the tight bindings on them tearing from his abnormal strength. The sun pours into the already dimly lit room.

Diluc winces, resisting the urge to cover his face. He groans in pain and turns around to face you.

Your heart drops at the sight of him. The way his pale skin now glows and crackles from the sunlight, burning his skin.

"He's burning, he's in pain!"

You quickly leap from your seat, pulling the blanket that was draped onto the couch with you. You throw the blanket over his head, shielding him from the sun's piercing light.

Diluc's eyes widen with shock as you pull him away from the window and pull the curtains back to block the sunlight.

You look afraid and worried, as you frantically pace around the room looking for something that's unknown to him. After a few minutes of you tearing through his cabinets, you finally find what you're looking for

A roll of bandages.

You desperately cover the skin that's been burnt with the bandages. Diluc takes note of how heavy you're breathing, how you're almost hyperventilating.

Once you've covered the burns on his face, you search the other uncovered parts of his body for any more injuries. And Diluc finally hears your voice breaking the uncomfortable silence that had formed.

"Why the fuck would you do that...!?"

You try to sound angry, but your voice immediately shakes and falters, turning your tone of voice into a more desperate one.

Diluc begins to feel guilty, hearing the pain in your voice hurts him more than those burns did.

You raise your head to look at him in the eyes, opening your mouth to spit more words at him.

"Why would you hurt yourself like this...!?!?"

You choke on those words, tears beginning to fall down your cheeks at a rapid pace. The sight of you so distraught makes Diluc's barely beating heart ache immensely.

"I..."

Diluc struggles to get what he wants to say out.

"I didn't want to love you, in case I'd hurt you..."

He looks away from you, too ashamed to keep eye contact.

"Do you not see how much this hurts me though!?"

You reply, gritting your teeth.

"I don't care that you're not a human like me! I still love you, and nothing is going to change that!!"

More tears fall down your cheeks, some even hitting and sliding down his own face.

Diluc hesitantly reaches a hand up, pressing his gloved hand against the back of your head and pushing it forward so that your forehead rests against his.

"I'm sorry."

He apologises, being finally able to look you in the eyes again. He's sincere in his words.

You sniffle, closing your eyes and placing your hands on his shoulders. You don't respond to his apology, but he can tell that you've already forgiven him.

Diluc smiles and closes his eyes too, not deciding to start any more conversations, and leaving the two of you to calm in silence.

DAINSLEIF: (1424 words)

•When Khaenri'ah fell, Dainsleif was cursed with both immortality and vampirism. The immortality came with becoming a vampire.

•So he decided to travel Teyvat alone, so as to not let anyone know about his inhumanity.

•At first, Dainsleif struggled with being a vampire. He could only be on the move when the sun was down, but it wasn't like he could get very far with how sluggish he was from repressing his blood cravings.

•Eventually, he managed to figure things out. Every once in a while he'd feed on some poor drunkard walking home in the middle of the night. And he managed to construct a ring that made him immune to the sunlight, meaning he could now travel by day as well.

•The 500 years he's spent travelling alone were incredibly lonely for him. Because he didn't want anyone to know that he was a vampire, he isolated himself from civilisation, only occasionally stepping into the cities to get a drink at a tavern or to buy something he needed.

•He lived completely alone for five centuries, until you came along.

•Dainsleif had spotted you, another traveller, trying your best to fight some slimes that had been attacking you, but you weren't really doing a good job. So, he stepped in to help you out. He planned to just slay the slimes, make sure you were okay, and be on his merry way once again.

•But you had completely ruined his plans, chasing after him as he tried to walk away from you, saying that you'd pay him back with a meal at a nearby restaurant or a drink from one of the taverns he'd been to a few times.

•No matter how many times he'd try to let you down gently, you just kept going, insisting that because he saved your life that you should repay him.

•Once Dainsleif finally came to terms with the fact that you weren't going to let up, he sighed and agreed to your offer (demand)

•So you took him to a tavern for a meal and a few drinks. By the end of it, you were completely drunk and he was still completely sober.

•Regular human food and alcohol don't do much to his system. It wasn't like his body rejected them, but he would never become drunk even if he drank a sea of booze, and he would never become full off of just meats and vegetables.

•Much to Dainsleif's annoyance, he ended up carrying you back to his campsite to let you sleep there. He made sure to keep watch the entire night just in case.

•When you woke up, the first thing you saw through a bleary gaze was a pint of water being held out to you by Dainsleif. He scolded you for drinking too much last night and forced you to drink the water to lessen your hangover.

•And since then, you've somehow become a pest in his side. You both travelled around Teyvat together, soothing Dainsleif's centuries-long loneliness.

•Though, having a human companion by his side wasn't easy for Dainsleif. Especially if he was due for another feeding.

The crackling fire illuminated the campsite that had been darkened by the evening sky. The entrancing flames distracted you as Dainsleif tried his best to calm himself down in your shared tent.

He was due for another feeding, and the smell of your blood was driving him crazy. He was trying his best to hold back on his desperate cravings until you slept, so he could drink from another bumbling drunkard roaming the paths.

But it was getting increasingly harder and harder to hold himself back as the minutes passed by.

Dainsleif refused to drink from you. He didn't want to harm or scare you away. Overtime, he'd come to actually enjoy your company. Driving you away with his monstrous tendencies is the last thing he wants, especially after being alone for far too long.

"Dainsleif?"

Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts, and he looks up to see you, placing a hand on his shoulder. He hadn't even realised you'd moved away from the fire to come to his side.

"Are you alright? You look awfully pale..."

Awfully pale was just how he always looked, though he was probably as white as a ghost by now from how badly he needed to feed.

"I-It's nothing..."

Dainsleif utters with a surprisingly weak voice. He averts his eyes away from you, feeling embarrassed that you have to see him so weak.

"Are you sure? I think you may be ill..."

You respond, holding his chin to keep his head in place while you studied his features for any signs of illness.

Dainsleif's breath became ragged at how close you were to him. He was using all of his self control to not just pounce on you and drink straight from your neck.

In your eyes, you had just thought that he was refusing help because he didn't want to seem weak around you. Though the issue was much bigger than that.

"P-Please, I'm fine..."

He breathes out. He does not look fine in the slightest.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, starting to become annoyed at how he's pushing you away.

"You don't have to pretend, Dain. I can tell something's wrong, you can tell me y’know."

Dainsleif swallows. He wants to resist, to run away and return to you while you're asleep and he's finally been fed. But he cannot.

"H-How much do you know about... inhuman creatures...?"

He finally asks with his voice and breath shaking.

"Hmm... like slimes? Have you been poisoned by one or something?—"

"No, no, it's nothing like that..." He cuts you off, taking a deep breath before speaking again. "I-I meant creatures who appear to be human... but they aren't..."

You think for a few moments, thinking back to all the books you read before you decided to set off on your journey across all of Teyvat. After a few minutes of thinking, you manage to come to a conclusion.

"Like a vampire or something?"

"Yes... a vampire..."

"What about them?"

Dainsleif doesn't even find the energy to tell you. He simply just opens his mouth a little to show off his sharp fangs in his teeth that replaced his canines.

Your eyes widen. You're surprised, and even a little bit scared, but you know Dainsleif won't hurt you.

Not hurting you is what got him to this state in the first place, isn't it?

"Are you hungry?"

You ask him, and he weakly nods in response.

You take a deep breath before undoing the top button on your shirt, pulling your collar down enough to fully expose your neck. You hold his chin against and force him to look up at you.

"Drink from me." You say, and Dainsleif's eyes widen.

"B-But—"

"I don't want to hear it. I know you won't hurt me, so just drink already.”

A bit of anxiety goes through your mind, wanting to back out. But you'd rather be in pain than have your closest companion die of starvation when you could've prevented it.

Dainsleif hesitantly pulls you close to him, pressing his mouth against the side of your neck. He places small kisses on the warm skin, whispering out a bunch of "Thank you's" as he prepares himself to drink from you for the first time.

Right before he drinks from you, he whispers a small "I'm sorry," before taking a bite.

At first, it hurts. Your nails dig into Dainsleif's shoulders as he feeds from you. His thumbs draw comforting circles on your back to try and soothe you.

When the pain finally subsides, it actually starts to feel a little good. You let out a mix between a sigh and a moan as your nails stop digging into his shoulders and instead grip at his shirt.

Once he finishes drinking from you, he licks and kisses the spot he bit into, lapping up any blood that's spilled out from your neck.

The experience left you completely exhausted. You rested your head on Dainsleif's shoulder as he grabbed the first aid kit from your bag, pulling out a small bandaid to put over the bite.

When he's done patching you up, he lays you down gently onto your mat, pulling up the small blanket you had. His gloved hand brushes the hair sticking to your forehead away, and he plants his lips there in a gentle kiss.

"Sleep well..."

He whispers, before your vision fades to black.

DAN HENG: (1137 words)

•Unlike the other two, Dan Heng was actually born as a vampire. Though he's never met his parents before.

•Vampires like him age super slowly. So he's got another few centuries on his belt until he becomes weak enough to die or be killed easily.

•Instead of hiding himself away though, he works as a librarian in a public library.

•While he's very quiet and hard to communicate with, he is actually a very good worker (he plans to go down with the library if that ever happens)

•Nobody actually knows he's a vampire, not even his boss or his coworkers. While his previous bosses had noticed that he barely seemed to age as the years went by, they always felt too intimidated by his quiet and stoic nature to ask him about it.

•Dan Heng, like Dainsleif, also has a daylight ring. Though this is just something he's had with him for as long as he can remember.

•You show up for the first time in his life when you're hired to work in the library with him.

•Unfortunately for him, you just happened to want to strike up a conversation every time you saw him. His boss must've noticed this, because suddenly, majority of your shifts aligned right with his.

•Dan Heng is a bit annoyed that his nice peace and quiet is now being interrupted by you. But he's not a bad guy, so he's not going to get mad at you and push you away or make you feel horrible because of it.

•So, after a bit of trying to get him to talk to you, he caves and replies to you.

•And that started your friendship with him.

•You two remained as good friends for a while. It was until Dan Heng realised that he had started to fall for you that he started to push you away without even realising it.

•He felt bad for falling for you. He felt bad that he'd live on for centuries, while you only had a few decades. It made him feel guilty thinking of how you'd grow old and he'd technically not even be 30 yet.

•So, he started slipping informative books about vampires into your piles of books that you were going to borrow. He didn't know how to tell you outright the truth, so he hoped that this would get his message across.

•It did not.

Dan Heng notices you sigh while you're looking through your stack of books that you had left to the side unattended for only a few minutes. He watches you walk over to him and place the book he had slipped into your pile in front of him on the desk.

"Can you put this back in its original spot?" You sigh again, tapping on the hardcover with your nails.

Dan Heng picks up the book. "Are you not a fan of vampire books?" He asks bluntly, slightly raising an eyebrow.

"It's not that." You reply "They just keep showing up with the books I want to borrow even though. I don't put them there... do you think we're being haunted by a vampire or something?"

Dan Heng shakes his head. "Don't be absurd. Ghosts are the ones that haunt, not vampires."

"Oh? Sounds like you know a lot about vampires. Perhaps you're the one slipping these into my pile behind my back?"

You notice the way Dan Heng's eyes practically pop out of his head with how surprised he looks. It was an odd expression for him.

"Hey, you don't have to look so surprised, I was joking—"

"You're right."

Now you're the one who's surprised, though not to the same extent as he was just merely a few seconds ago.

Dan Heng sighs. "Can we go somewhere private? I have something to tell you."

You nod your head and follow him. The both of you are silent as you walk to a secluded spot in a corner of the library. When you both stop walking, Dan Heng turns to face you with a guilty expression on his face.

"I have two things to tell you..."

He begins, taking a deep breath before looking straight into your curious eyes.

"I have... fallen for you."

A cute red blush appears on his cheeks, and with the way yours had started to burn, you probably looked the exact same as him.

"But... I cannot be with you."

That immediately makes you confused. Your heart starts to pound harder.

"Wh-What do you mean?"

You stutter, your voice raising in a pitch a little too high when you emphasise your question.

Dan Heng sighs again, rubbing his shoulder awkwardly.

"The reason I've been slipping books about vampires into your pile is... well... because I am a vampire."

You cannot tell if you're being played right now.

"...Are you serious?"

"Yes."

With the way Dan Heng continues to look straight into your eyes without faltering makes you believe him more. But you have no reason to not believe him anyway, after all, Dan Heng was a serious person, so what would he get out of lying to you like this?

"So... how does that play into you loving me?"

Dan Heng bites his lip, fiddling with the ring he always wore to calm his anxieties down.

"I'm practically immortal. If we ever end up together in the future, you'll die way before I even reach the age you died at..."

It seems his anxieties only worsened as he explained the reason to you. That thought hadn't crossed your mind, but you understand why he looked so guilty and distressed over it.

You exhale, taking a step closer to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. He looks at you, wondering what you're planning to do.

"I'm sure we can work something out when that inevitably comes around. For now, why don't we just enjoy ourselves without worrying about the future?"

You smile warmly, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip.

Dan Heng doesn't respond for a second, but he finally nods to your statement.

"Alright, let's do that."

He grabs the wrist of your hand that's touching his face, moving it away and intertwining his fingers with you, giving you a small reassuring squeeze.

Dan Heng looks at you and smiles for the first time during your whole conversation. Your heart flutters at the sight of it, and you can't help but lean in and kiss it.

Dan Heng's eyes widen again when you pull away, and you immediately regret doing that.

"I-I'm sorry! I should've asked for permission first!"

"N-No... it's fine."

Dan Heng touches his lips, the blush on his face growing.

"...Can I kiss you again then?"

You ask shyly, playing with his fingers in your linked hands.

"Yes, you may."

And that's exactly what you do.

417 notes · View notes

dollyhao · 3 months

Note

toniii, what about bimbo abby?? but still not fem, just dumb and wanting to be fucked and seen.. she’s all subby and loves what reader pushes her down, ties her up, stuffs her panties in her mouth, and ride her

^ _ ^ ….. hehehe

crazy how i already had this typed out. i loved this request by the way.

abby comes home feeling upset and pouty. she got the results back on a exam that she ended up failing, miserably so. she takes her shoes off with her shoulders slumped with a pout on her face until she turns around and finds you doing work on your computer.

you didn’t even say hi to her and that’s not making her feel any better. she walks over to you and flops on the couch next to you. “hey baby,” you say obviously distracted. she needs your attention or she feels like she might start crying. abby wraps her arms around your waist resting her head on your shoulder. “hey,” she says in a disappointed tone. you ignore her and her tone still typing away on your computer.

abby turns her head pecking your neck then shoulder hoping that you would at least look at her. you flinch away from her kisses feeling ticklish in your neck before looking over at her. she’s pouting at you with this pleading look in her eyes, “what’s wrong baby?” you ask. “can we… you know… please? i need you really badly right now,” she says reaching her hand under the blanket that’s splayed on your lap cupping your clothed cunt. you gently push her hand away, “not right now abby. i really have to finish this, ok?” you go back to typing and seconds later you feel you laptop get snatched mid sentence. “abby! wtf” “please please i need you to help me feel better.”

‧₊˚✩彡.

and now your here abby with tied up in one of your desk chairs while you ride her. not to mention the sparkly black dildo that sits snug in her tight walls.

“i’m sorry. i won’t do it again baby.” abby pleads with you.

this is not what she wanted :((( she wanted to be able to touch you and have a sweet time with you. but because she interrupted your work being all desperate she doesn’t get that.

abby has cum around the dildo two times going on three. every time her dumb little brain fucks up into you, she fucks herself more and more on the dildo. she moans and whines, as she clenches around the dildo, cumming for a third time.

you cradle her head to your chest and throw your head back in pleasure. abby’s mouth finds your nipple and sucks and licks, desperate to pleasure you in the only way she can. “please. untie me i’m sorry.” she begs as she mouths against your wet nipple.

you ignore her request and bring her mouth to yours swirling your tongue around hers, your guys spit mixing with each others. abby pants, eyes glazed over as you moan in her mouth, clenching and jerking on her girth.

your orgasm subsides before you say, “do you wanna use your words and tell me what’s wrong now?” you grab her face, still sitting on her strap, giving her a serious look. she nods completely out of it but throughly satisfied with the outcome of her actions.

#wlw #lesbian #the last of us #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #i 🫶🏾 abby anderson #abby x fem!reader #abby anderson smut #abby anderson tlou #abby x me #abby x reader

895 notes · View notes

squoxle · 4 months

Note

Can u do a short ff where y/n came from the gym and she’s looking hot as ever. And heeseung is home while he talks to his gamer friends . And when he sees y/n he’s flabbergasted.

Can I? Hmm…I can try😏🖤 (you probably didn't read this b4 you asked. no worries tho...i was itching to start writing for EN- again anyway)

𐙚Heated~L.HS ff 18+𐙚

💋pairing: Heeseung!fwb x Reader!fm | 💋wc: 1.3k | 💋summary: Do I really need to explain this??? basically, you came home after working out, and Heeseung couldn't keep his eyes off your sexy, sweaty body. |💋cw: 🔞MDNI!! unprotected sex, cumshots, fingering, clit stimulation, sexual jokes, pet names [daddy, good girl, baby]=heeseung coded Enjoy :)

"Dammit," you swore as your phone fell out of your pocket. You slid your headphones down to wrap around your neck as you kneeled down to pick up your phone.

"Hey," Jake said as you flipped your phone around, checking for any scratches or cracks. "How was the gym?"

"Ehh nothing too special," you shrugged before lugging your bag over your shoulder. "There was this one guy who kept flirting with me. He even tried giving me his number," you laughed under your breath.

"A guy? Flirting with you? What else did this guy do?" Heeseung spat. It seemed like hearing that pissed him off a bit as his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"It really wasn't all that. I don't know why you're getting upset anyway. We're just friends. It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything," You said before taking a sip from your water bottle. It was the kind you can use your teeth to yank open, though that may not be the intended way of doing it.

"How'd you know she went to the gym?" Heeseung asked, looking at the other guys as he took his dark eyes off you.

"Uhh...well if I was an asshole--which I'm not--I would say that anyone with a fucking brain could tell by what she went to the gym just by looking at her," Jay said sarcastically as you stood by the door wearing compression tights and a cropped hoodie that covered your sports bra.

"Yeah, that and she told us before she left an hour ago," Sunghoon added.

"Oh," Heeseung said as he went back to staring at you.

You flashed him a puzzled look as he licked his lips before biting on the lower one as he scanned your body up and down. You couldn't believe the bipolar attitude this boy had at times.

"Yo dude! What the fuck was that?" Jay laughed as he saw the way Heeseung was practically drolling over you. "Don't tell me that she's turning you on that easily," Jay continued as he shook Hee's shoulder. "She's literally like a sister to us."

"More like a step-sister," Sunghoon chuckled. "You can see it all over his face. He wants to fuck her just as badly as that guy at the gym," He smirked before turning to look at you himself. He could see how Heeseung could like the way you looked with your hair stuck to the sides of your face from the sweat. Especially when you took off your hoodie, revealing your breasts that were also decorated with sweat that dripped from your collarbone.

"What?" Heeseung shook his head. The thoughts in his mind caused him to go completely blank.

"Woah! Even his little buddy thinks so," Jake threw his head back laughing. Heeseung looked down to see his hard-on bulging in his sweats, before looking over at you.

"Dude you're freaking her out," Jake continued as he looked over to see your flushed face.

"Uhhh...I'm just gonna go," you said awkwardly as you walked to your room.

"Hey, if I were you I'd just be honest and tell everyone how bad I wanna fuck her," Sunghoon smirked.

"Fuck off, man," Heeseung spat as he left the room following behind you.

"What do you want?" You said as you rummaged through your drawers looking for an outfit to put on after your shower.

“I think you already know,” Heeseung said as he closed the door behind him. The thought of your sweaty body bouncing on his cock was enough to get him started.

“Right now? You’re joking…” you said as you placed the stack of clothes on your bed. You were in no mood to engage in some sexual activity with him right now for two reasons. One, it's literally the middle of the fucking day, and two, the guys are still awake sitting in the living room down the hall.

“How do you expect me to react after seeing your hot sexy body covered in sweat?” he said cocking his head to the side as if you could read the horny thoughts running through his mind.

“Umm, disgusted. Like a normal person,” you folded your arms. You were indirectly trying to hint to him that this wasn't a good time, but by the look on his face you could tell that wasn't working.

“Hmm, well that would probably be the case if we didn’t have our little side thing.”

“Okay, you’re either desperate or stupid if you think we’re gonna have sex right now.”

“What if I’m both?” Heeseung said before reaching down to grip his dick through his pants. “I’m aching for you and I know how bad you want me. You just hate to admit that I’m right,” he continued as he walked up to you, placing a delicate yet sensual kiss on your cheek while holding your chin.

“You’re sick,” you spat ripping away from his grip. “And when you’re horny, you’re a fucking dog,” you said picking up your clothes before walking to the door.

“Ah ah ah~” Heeseung said as he held the door shut with his hand. “You know I always get what I want,” he smiled before kissing your neck.

“I said, not right n—“ you were cut off by Heeseung gripping your ass. His fingers reached through your thighs to your pussy. You perked your ass up to give him a better shot as he rubbed against your pussy through the tight fabric.

“What was that you were saying,” Heeseung smiled before sucking on your neck, biting a bit of your skin hard enough to cause you to let out a small moan.

“What if they hear us?”

“Who cares?” Heeseung said as he pressed his dick against your ass.

“Heeseung,” you sighed.

“Relax, just stay quiet and we should be okay,” he pulled down your tights, exposing your ass to him.

You covered your mouth with your hands as Heeseung glided his dick between your folds before pushing himself in.

“Mmph!” You gasped. Heeseung let out a soft chuckle from behind you as he began pounding into your slimy hole.

He gripped your waist with one of his hands while the other he used to stimulate your clit. You braced yourself against the door that slightly knocked from your movements.

“H-Heeseung! A-ah,” you moaned as your walls clenched around his throbbing cock.

“That’s it baby. Take all of Daddy’s dick like a good girl,” he said pumping into you so hard that you were on your toes at this point.

Just as you reached your climax, Heeseung pulled his dick out of you. “What?” You said turning around to see his dick still twitching.

“Get on your hands and knees,” he commanded. “And turn around,” he continued as you dropped down into doggy position.

He didn’t waste time to slam his dick into you, fucking you hard and fast as his thighs slapped against your ass.

“Ah!” You moaned a little too loud.

Heeseung pulled you back, shoving two fingers into your mouth as he kept fucking you. Before you came he shot his cum on your back before getting up to leave the room.

“Wait. Where are you going?” You asked as you pulled your tights back up.

“I’m finished,” he shrugged. “You can go take your shower now. I’m done being a pervert,” he winked before walking down the hall.

“Wh-heeseung?!” You shouted. "Ugh," you huffed, picking up your clothes before walking to the shower.

"What was that all about?" Jay asked as Heeseung plopped down on the sofa next to him.

"Nothing," he smirked. "She's just being dramatic as usual."

"Mhm. Sure," Sunghoon smirked before sitting back.

"Soooo, can we get back to the game now?" Jake asked.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @hoyeonheeseung @nikisdubblchococake @hynjinnn1 @mrswolfhard3 @laylasbunbunny @sussyjake @furious-eagle @cherrriesss @abbyizzy @weyukinluv @addictedtohobi @thatonenoona @wavykook @givemeyourtmihyun @jaeljn @hoonmywk @valennshit @19-yunalyn @hoonbby @frostedblankets @hoonsyo @no-mannerism @perfectxserendipity @chubbibish @ihrtlix @bunniesforsoobin @thereadersparadise @thatbooknerdfr @aiden2001 @belongstoheeseung @jakeybabe @donut-crazs @rizzhee @nikimeows @woonieees @uarmyxtae @rebecca-johnson-28 @they2luv1naia @isa-2007 @silcry @riverscafe @pearlwhitesoul @nikohiroshi @thatbooknerdfr @wonniewonwon @sughoonieeee @babyy-bambii @adrika04 @sehunsharpasseyebrows @wtfyangjungwon @fr-3-akn-4-stymf @rikiloversworld @shawyle @sunoosrightbuttcheek @uarmyxtae @lovesickxmina @urfavberry @urauntiefaye @breadlover01 @taehyunsfavmoa

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2knightt · 28 days

Note

Do you think u could write abt the gang being (separately) absolutely obsessed with the reader. Like they adore everything she does, they can’t get enough of her. To the point where the rest of the gang starts releasing them abt it, meanwhile reader is like completely oblivious lol

୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ heaven and hell were words to me.⋄ 𓍯

…IN WHICH! the greasers is totally obsessed!

tags/warnings: no confessions—just the gang having a crush, gang being literally whipped, them being a little odd, kinda toxic!johnny LFMAO, nothing else to my knowledge

ೃauthor notes⁀➷ i’m just working…working hard so i can please you.(shout out to ema/corvyes/loml for that ref.) but if i get a req asking me for like the gng confessing to you—i will do it. trust.

Dallas Winston

WHEN HE’S DRUNK, YOU’RE ALLLL HE TALKS ABOUT LMFAOOOO

“i’m tellin’ you—there ain’t a girl like her.”

dallas would repeat after what felt like this 5th drink of the night. buck is sick of him, two-bit regrets dragging him along, and dallas just wants to tell them how good you looked today.

when he sees you walking home, to school, or to work he WILL tag along. HE DOESN’T GAF IF YOU TELL HIM TO TAKE A HIKE!

actually, he kinda does. you’re like the only person he listens to.

LMFAOOO THE GANG THREATENS TO CALL YOU OVER WHENEVER DALLAS IS DOING SMTH STUPID

like whenever you threaten a kid ur gna tell santa.

“dallas, i’m gonna tell y/n what you did last week.”

“??if you do, i’ll beat your head in, soda.”

“YIKES..i’m gonna have to tell her that too…”

“…don’t, she’d be so mad at me😔😒.”

THE GANG TEASES DALLAS THE WORST(besides ponyboy) ABOUT YOU LFNAOAOAOAO

like they’re shoving him toward you, nudging him at even the slightest mention of you, giggling as they tell him they seen you today.

“look, it’s your girlfriend.”

“steve, shut up! she ain’t deaf!”

—

“GO SEE HER!”

“OW—i mean—hi, y/n.”

“did you…trip? or did you mean to bump into me?”

“yeah, sorry or whatever. some IDIOT back there pushed me.”

—

“guess who i saw..🥰🥰”

“who?”

“your wife…”

“can you NOT.”

despite all that, you somehow, still don’t know how he feels about you. how? we’ll never know. it’s beyond the human mind.

his friends try and hint at you that the big, bad greaser has a school girl crush on you. do you get what they’re trying to say? no. but that’s okay, you’re just a girl.

lowkey pisses dallas off but that’s okay cuz he prefers admiring from afar. DOES HOWEVER ASK YOU TO HANG OUT AND CONSIDERS THEM A DATE IN HIS HEAD TO KEEP HIM SANE LFMAO

“you wanna go see this drag race tomorrow?”

“sure! i don’t have work then. uhm, pick me up at my place!”

“alright, cool.”

‘yeah..,it’s date🥱😍’ — dallas’ brain.

Johnny Cade

‘johnny, if you even fucking stutter when you talk to her today—you’re gonna have to drink pickle juice.’

“oh, hi. i didn’t see you there, johnny. ‘m sorry.”

“o-oh—it’s alright.”

‘well, shit.”

he thinks he looks like such a fucking loser when he talks to you omfg😭😭

the gang tries to tell him he might have a shot but he thinks they’re just telling him that because he’s their friend. :(

HEAVILY admires from afar. like seriously he’s a fucking stalker

WAIT LMFOAOO HE’D BE THE TYPE OF GUY TO ACCIDENTALLY STALK YOU LIKE HE’D FOLLOW YOU PLACES FROM AFAR LMFAOAOAOOAOA

what a little freak

anyways

he accidentally lets things slip to let you know he’s better than any other guy trying to go after you. like if you had a shitty ex—he’s preaching that he’d ‘never treat you like that, he can’t imagine that a guy with a brain ever would.’

johnny does everything to keep your attention on HIM and nobody else when your friends try and talk to you when you two are out together. like you could be having a conversation with him and he’d be just pouting in the background with his arms crossed.

“y/n, look. they got that shirt you was talkin’ ‘bout. let’s go check it out. c’mon.” “oh—alright! bye, viv!😊” “yeah, bye viv.😒”

side eyes the gang whenever they bring you up in conversation

“johnny and y/n sittin’ in a tree—“

“😒🤨”

“alright.”

he tries to subtly hint that he really likes you and that you’re his type but it’s not subtle at ALL.

“y’know, if i were to have a girlfriend, i’d wish she was like you.”

—

“my type? uhm, it’d probably be someone-“ and he goes on to describe you.

Ponyboy Curtis

‘holy fuck that’s literally y/n walking towards me??!! does she know i’m here—does she even know me-wow she looks good in red. i mean—SHE’S WAVING OH MY GOD.’

HE IS SUCH A WRECK I CANTTT

ponyboy is the type to stare off into space in your direction and dream about how well he’d treat you if he was your man!!

yk how bitches be like ‘my man, my man!’ whenever they talk about their crush?? he’s all ‘my girl, my girl!’ WUAGRMRNEE

the gang was so confused on why he was so eager to go to school all of a sudden?? and why he cares about his appearance just slightly more than usual?? …is that soda’s shirt he’s wearing?-

two-bit was the first one to realize what was happening when he seen ponyboy and you talk in the halls. that wasn’t the giveaway, though.

it was the way he stared at you like you were the only girl alive and everyone else was just gone. two-bit was almost moved to tears to see ponyboy all grown😞😞!!!

“is tha’ your girlfriend? that why you couldn’t wait ‘til monday?”

“shut up!”

“ouuu, wait until the gang hears ‘bout this!”

“YOU AIN’T TELLIN’ ‘EM NOTHIN’!”

ever since — it has been hell on earth for ponyboy. dallas brings you up every time ponyboy gets smart, johnny giggles at every kissing scene at a movie nudges him, soda and darry had to give him ‘the talk,’ (soda just made it worse by making snide remarks.) and steve never stopped poking fun at him.

two-bit tried to get you to spill the beans on how you felt about him, but all you’d do was huff and ignore him. FINE THEN😒!—is what he always thought.

soda, johnny and two-bit all let ponyboy rant about you.

“LIKE, BRO. my girl, my girl! she’s so cute and smart. LIKE SHE’S TOTALLY MY DREAM.”

—

“that’s so cute ☹️” - soda

“SHE WANTS YOU SOO BAD” - two-bit

“just go tell her, man.” - johnny

does everything to impress you stoppp 😭😭!! pony is trying harder in school, using less hair grease, wearing darry’s cheap cologne when he’s not looking, etc.

HE’S SO SILLY I LOVE HIM!!!

Sodapop Curtis

delusional king!!! yes soda, let the voices in your head tell you that she wants you so bad!!🫶🫶

swear to goddd he thinks y’all are meant to be. you tipped him when he was working at the cash register and he was sooo in love

sorry in my head he’s a hopeless romantic

cause a) you were gorgeous, b) kind enough to tip him, and c) most likely rich💯💯

when he seen you at random places with your friends—soda would get so excited LMFAOOO

STOP HE’D HOUND PONY FOR YOUR NAME

“bro they probably go to your school—just lemme look at your yearbook!”

“no??? you weirdo???”

“please??!! i’ll do the dishes or something!”

“….get me a pack of cigarettes and i’ll tell you.”

“OKAY🥰🥰”

stole them but pony never said how to get them so who gaf!!!

SODA WOULD TOTALLY WRITE YOUR FIRST INITAL + HIS LMFAOOAOAOAOAA

or he’d see who’s last name went best with curtis or your last name!!!1!1!1

he’s crazy insane over you did i say that already

whenever you come by the dx—he’d give you shit for free while you insist to pay.

“jus’ take it.”

“i can’t—i’d feel terrible.”

“it’s alright, no one has to know. right?”

he’d flash his million dollar smile, pushing your coke and chips close to you, inciting you to just take the food.

WAJENEDKD he wants u so bad it’s. so terrible.

steve hates his rambles

“YOU SHOULDA SEEN THE WAY ME AND HER WAS TALKING—SHE’S SO INTO MEEEE”

“yeah, she wants you!!! shut up now!!”

Darry Curtis

nobody knows. it’s like a top secret only darry knows. the gang has their suspicions but they can never really know why darry is suddenly so adamant on going to go get him, soda, and pony’s hair done at the salon.

they alllll can see that he only really talks to you—but at the same time he does that weird ass dad stance where they stand with their arms crossed and legs far apart LMFAOOOOO

darry thinks you’re like…model fine btw.!!!!!

BROOO WHEN YOU LIKE UNCONSCIOUSLY MASSAGE HIS HEAD WHEN YOURE CUTTING IT—HE’S SOO READY TO JUST ASK YOU OUT

darry doesn’t know what it is but goddamn!! you have him in a spell!!

“c’mon—we gotta go to the salon again.”

“….we just went?”

“TWO WEEKS AGO. it’s about time we go AGAIN.”

does in fact work a little extra just so he can see you. he’s that much of a loverboy i fear.

HE DOES ACTUALLY NOT WAIT TO ASK YOU OUT

like, among all the gang, he’s the only one mature enough to actually flirt with you properly & to ask if you’re single.

darry’s fucking down like that.

AWWHHH HE TOTALLY BUYS YOU FLOWERS AS A ‘THANK YOU’ GIFT LOL

flexs his strength around you to prove he’s worthy !!! DARRY LOVEEESSS SHOWING OFF WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING

megara + hercules methink…..

you two probably started hanging out as ‘friends.’ …yeah right!!!!

he’s driving you around as you be his pretty little passenger princess, he’s offering to buy you things when you two are out, etc, etc.

darry might not know how to show that he likes you, but trust me, the second that you look a little too far into his actions—it gets obvious.

like maybe too obvious idk.

Steve Randle

HELLLOOOO??? HE IS TOTALLY SHOWING OFF HIS GYMNASTICS MOVES AROUND YOU

“bro, bro! (yes he’d call you bro. idgaf.) watch what i can do!!😊😊” “wowwww, steve that’s so cool.”

geeks out near you. when you aren’t around the average person would see him and go ‘jesus christ, he literally might beat my ass.’ but when you’re around, they might think, ‘why is that scary looking guy talking about cars and comic books rn??’

you bring out the nerd in him in the best way possible🫶😊 BECAUSE THAT MEANS HE LIKE LIKES YOUUUUUUU

and it’s so obvious to the gang bc wdym steve told you all about DC comics while all they got was a ‘yeah, it’s alright.’ …hm…..

soda NEVER shuts the fuck up and him and his little girlfriend. NEVERRREE

“why’re you so pouty today? y/n ain’t say hi?”

“bro, shut up!”

steals for you and gives them to you all proud like he paid for it LMFAO

tries to be sooo cool around you but the second you bring up the latest batman comic he’s all “OMGOMGOMGOMG IT WAS SOO GOOD!! DID YOU SEE THE-“ he’s a loser what can i say.

dallas totally flirts with you in front of steve just to piss him off LOLLL like when he sees dallas twirling your hair around his finger steve is just all “???🤨🤨😡😡”

and then becomes your knight in shining armour and swoops you away as he glares daggers at dally!!!!<3

Two-bit Mathews

he becomes the funniest man on the planet i’m not joking

he says jokes that anybody and everybody will laugh at. just because he wants to see you laugh at what he says for his delusions

two-bit thinks like ‘she laugh=she likes me’

he’s not the brightest but it’s okay

HE MAKES IT SOOO KNOWN THAT HE LIKES YOU LFMAOOOOOO

“you’re lookin’ pretty? who’s the fella?” / “gee, i didn’t believe when they said they seen an angel walkin’ around until now.” / “well, now you owe me dinner.”

shit like that

two thinks he’s soooo smooth…smh.

DALLAS AND PONYBOY SO BADLY WANTS HIM SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY ABOUT YOU LMFAOOO

they keep on telling him just to confess already but then two gets all giggly and shy and goes “omg guys noooo🤭🤭🤭🫣🫣”

just coincidentally runs into you everywhere you go!!! (literally has eyes everywhere. he’s weird. he’s odd.)

follows you around like a lost puppy and lowkey kinda gossips. idk.

#2knightt #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #dallas winston x reader #johnny cade x reader #ponyboy x reader #ponyboy curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #steve randle x reader #darry curtis x reader #two bit x reader #two bit mathews x reader

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morallyinept · 1 month

Text

For anyone who needs to hear this today...

Dieter and I are just weighing in on some of the conversations floating around where people are feeling like they're not wanted here, or who feel like they might want to leave...

You ARE absolutely wanted here.

Whether you're a creator, reader, silent lurker. It doesn't matter if you have 1 follower or 10k. Whether you write one chapter every few weeks, or churn out fics on the daily.

This is a fandom, not a competition.

You. Are. All. Wanted. Here.

Tumblr, for want of a better analogy, is a crap factory of a website. 😝 It's gone down the pan in the last decade massively, and it's the complete opposite of what other social media platforms do, (in terms of likes and algorithims etc... you have to re-blog everything - not like it - here to get any traction) you get out of Tumblr what you put in, effectively.

No-one here is better than anyone else, we're all part of that big Pedro table and continuously squish up to make room for everyone. And if anyone isn't doing that, then they should be the one's to leave, not you.

I get it. I feel it too. I've contemplated leaving several times. Yeah. It's a hard place sometimes to try and make a tiny space of it your own.

☝🏻But remember, even the biggest blogs on here started off with zero followers and had to build their niche from scratch. Rome wasn't built in a day.

It takes time and effort. It might look like it's easy for others, but it really isn't. And I'm in no way a "big blog" in the slightest.

But I stay here doing my own thing, because ultimately, I love writing and creating - it makes me happy, and I love the sense of community here.

I get immense joy out of making my silly banners and posts, and having a giggle with like-minded people when Pedro shaves his beard off (🫠). I ignore the drama and focus on having a positive time here.

But I get that doesn't work for everybody. Sometimes it's hard to tune all the fuzz out, right? It's massively overwhelming some days on here - I feel ya, bub.

The level of talent in this fandom is incredible, but it often leaves you feeling like "where do I begin?" Or "who do I talk to?" And "how do I talk to someone without coming across as weird?" And "how the hell do I re-blog everything and reply to comments and remember to answer DM's and Asks, whilst remembering to update my WIP and see what my fav blogs have posted, and catch up on that fic I like..? 🤯

In short, you can't.

You simply can't do everything.

And you shouldn't try to either as that's when you'll burn out and when things start feeling overwhelming. Then your enjoyment wanes and then that's when you feel like you want to give it all in.

Just breathe.

The best advice I can give (and I'm no expert!) is to curate your own experience here as best as you can.

Eliminate that overwhelming feeling to make your Tumblr time and space enjoyable.

Make it work for you and your needs.

Some easy things you can do that might help:

Update your notifications - I personally filter out the likes, otherwise I find I miss notifs like new followers or comments etc... Tumblr can be glitchy as hell too, so by removing the likes, you can see all the stuff you don't wanna miss. To turn them off, go into your activity (app version) and hit custom, scroll down to custom again and then untick likes:

There's a new option now to subscribe to specific blogs you like and adjust your home feed settings to that. You click on the blogs themselves and add them to get notifications and then they'll appear under Blog Subs on your feed. You can then switch through feeds to just see the blogs you've added, rather than everyone you follow. It's then easy to switch between feeds:

Limit your time here - if it starts to feel overwhelming, take a break! That's your brain telling you that you might need it. We'll all still be here when you come back. Don't compromise your peace of mind or happiness for the sake of scrolling for hours.

If you're a creator and have writer's block etc... again, take that break! Whether it's a day or a week, or a year. Take as long as you need. Those that are worth it will still be here and will wait patiently for you. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. And if anyone does pressure you, block them.

Forget the numbers. I know, I know, it's easier said than done. Of course we want re-blogs and engagement, it's why we're here and putting our work out there. We wouldn't do it if we didn't want that engagement. But don't let the numbers be the main reason why you do it, otherwise your expectation can often be met with a harsh reality when it doesn't go how you think it will. Do it because it makes you happy, first and foremost. There will always be someone who looks forward to what you put out there.

If you want engagement, you need to engage back. This community survives and thrives on sharing. Re-blog everything you like. Re-blogging is the number one must on Tumblr. It's how the site works. Likes are lovely, but it's simply just a book marking feature here, which is essentially useless as your likes get pushed to the bottom of your like pile the more you like things. RE-BLOG EVERYTHING. By re-blogging you can also use tags so you can easily find things again. Liked that Frankie Morales fic you read last week? Re-blog it with the tag 'Frankie Morales' for example, and then you can search your own blog to find everything you've ever tagged with 'Frankie Morales'. You can even schedule re-blogs in advance too. You can't do any of that with likes. You'd have to scroll through every single like you've ever liked to find it again... and ain't no-one got time for that. If you're someone who is asking for engagement, you need to be prepared to give it back. I repeat, RE-BLOG EVERYTHING!

"Yeah, but if I re-blog everything, my aesthetic will be compromised, or my blog will be bulky and I might annoy everyone by appearing on their feed too much..." These are all valid concerns, but you can simply make a side blog specific for re-blogging things if you want. Whatever way you choose to do it, re-blog, re-blog, re-blog!

Be bold and reach out using DM's and ASK's. I don' think there's a single writer or artist out there who doesn't like getting a comment or a message complimenting their work. And we all love to chat about it, and that's an easy way in and to make friends too! It can be daunting, but I assure you if you're polite and kind, people will want to engage back with you. We all have one thing in common here at least - Pedro! 🥰

Sometimes, it can feel like everyone has their own friend groups or cliques and it can be hard to find your own community within a community. Almost everyone I engage with on a daily basis here, new and old users, are some of the nicest, kindest people I've spoken to. You really have nothing to be afraid of. They're just like you - they want to talk and make friends.

These are just some tips that I've found have worked for me on my own Tumblr journey with quelling that overwhelming feeling. And I hope they can help you in some way, especially if you're contemplating being here right now.

You might feel that what you put out there isn't appreciated because it doesn't get the notes or engagement you want, but I promise you, there is always someone who you have touched with your words and work.

Be kind to yourself and know that you really are a valued part of this fandom.

🖤

YOU. ARE. STRONGER. THAN. YOU. THINK. 🖤

Do you. Then do Dieter.

Self-Care With Dieter & Jett

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #self care with dieter & jett #dieter bravo #you are stronger than you think #do you #then do dieter

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littlemissayu · 25 days

Text

Wht Song would play in your Rom-Com?

A/N: Kinda surprising myself by posting twice today but hey I did it!! Lmk if you guys want a pt2 bc I don’t wanna write this just for you guys to not care for it or want smth else.

Pt2

Pairings: Heartsabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, and Scarabia x reader(romantic)

Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader

Now I can see this playing out in a montage of you two getting closer somehow; being forced to work together and slowly warming up to each other(academic/work rivals or js u 2 being complete opposites etc.) or even just going from daily acquaintances, maybe you work at his local bakery or coffee shop, and you guys get closer and closer til one of you get the nerve to ask the other out.

Honeypie by JAWNY

This plays out when you guys are having your moment, yk the one where you just think to yourself, I can totally tell they love each other and not just cause the movie is telling you. You two are either talking about something you both feel passionate about and you just bounce off each other clearly feeling at home with this person. Or maybe you guys are just there together and something about the energy or aura of what you doing or not doing just radiates love.

Magic by One Direction

Playing while it finally hits him that he is totally head over heels for you, and he accepts it. He probably had a lurking feeling beforehand but now he is absolutely sure that he, Cater Diamond, is in love with you.

Come and Get Your Love by Redbone

This song plays out during your first date montage. It’s a supercute new love type of montage as you guys are just trying to impress each while being all lovey-dovey

Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. He's head over heels for you and this song plays during another montage of you two being silly goofy teenagers in love just running around giving everyone toothaches.

This Love by Maroon 5

This song plays while subtly flirting with(read as obviously pining over) you. You are making him work for it of course and it just makes him more determined to make you his. It will play again at the end of the movie too when you guys are finally together and everyone who’s watching you guys love story(in the movie or not) can finally rest now that you two are together while listening to a fun song.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

I can so picture this playing in a scene where you guys bond over having to do a task(like maybe cleaning a mess you two made) together as a new couple and you guys are just having the best time together being all in love and stuff. The sun is softly shining through a window and you clean, stealing kisses and flirting. It’s just such a cute scene.

My Girl by the Temptations

You can’t convince me that this song isn’t playing in a scene where you guys are having the first dance at your wedding. OR (another) montage of you guys being back at his home as he shows you the beauty of it and while you fall in love with his home he falls harder for you.

Ain’t no Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

I don’t know why my brain has decided that the outro for Azul’s heartfelt closing song of his heartwarming, emotional, fluff filled Romcom. My thoughts refuse to see otherwise. Like just imagine when you uys finally kiss for the first time and you just hear the mesmerizing voices of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell are just transitioning you over to the end montage of the life you and Azul live together with part of the credits playing and the end is a heartfelt message about love pertaining to the movie and then the very last credits roll.

Stand By Me by Ben E. King

Imagine the two of you dancing together confessing your feelings after being separated by your busy lives for years and after a reunion you two finally meet up and slowly what the two of you thought was just a crush forms into a beautiful love that he professes to you as you two dance in the moonlight. The atmosphere is romantic and his voice is mesmerizing; you two are just so in love.

Lay All Your Love on Me by Abba; Mamma Mia Ver.

Is this because of the scene during this song? Absolutely! Bc now that I got it into my head it’s never going to leave, just think about it. You two are just elling each other that you want the other to give you their everything. Also I this upbeat song just feels somewhat right for Floyd(i could be wrong tho)

Partners in Crime by Set it Off & Ash Castello

Just imagine the opening and closing song being this song because throughout the movie it’s about the two of you basically being Bonnie and Clyde, traveling across all of Twisted Wonderland causing crimes all by being crazy in love. Every hostage you’ve had to hold can always say one thing “They are mad for each other”. The song starts while we see you guys rob a bank and as the song says at the end the two of you are shot when cornered by the police whether you two die or not is dependent on whether the two of you get a sequel but who knows???

Stupid in Love by MAX and HUH YUNJIN

Are you kidding me?? This would be you guys' theme song. Just imagine this song being about the two of you about to get married but everyone says you guys are rushing it but like WHO CARES?? You two are so in love it makes everyone sick. This plays during the wedding and at the end when whatever your main conflict is gets solved. Just imagine you two finally happy and at the end you two are looking over a beautiful sunset on magic carpet.

LoveGame by Lady GaGa

You guys are enemies to lovers and this is the song that plays during your rivalry montage. Let’s say your Kalim’s cousin doesn't trust him in the slightest and he finds you annoying, because if you keep trying to investigate it could affect him and his family so you two are constantly going toe to toe and the tension is so thick, a butcher would struggle to cut it. During the montage of you two being enemies in public but lovers in private because you guys finally sliced the tension but you don’t want to reveal anything yet.

A/N: I’m not 100% on all of these but it was fun to do so even if you guys don’t specifically say you want a part 2 i might js make it for fun but do interact and lmk, it motivates me even to get out more content!! All my love!!

Heartsabyul Masterlist

Savanaclaw Masterlist

Octavinelle Masterlist

Scarabia Masterlist

TWST Masterlist

Grand Masterlist

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #fluff #riddle rosehearts x reader #cater diamond x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #romcom #trey clover x reader #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #jack howl x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 2 months

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ok, Natasha, March 7th, Himeko, Asta and Yoimiya with an s/o who teases and jokes around with them…the catch is that when the character teases back or like grabs their hand, s/o does a 180 and turns into a flustered mess

(H:SR/Genshin Impact)

Natasha, March 7th, Himeko, Asta, Seele, and Yoimiya's S/O who likes to tease but is easily flustered

Ah, the good ol' glass cannon. I know the technique well... Also, bonus Seele just cause!

Natasha doesn't get flustered easily, even in front of others.

All the teasing that S/O does, she just takes it all in stride, laughing along or playfully rolling her eyes.

Only if they try to tease her in front of the kids will there be a different reaction, but that's due to the kids dogpiling in poking fun at Natasha.

But, two can play at that game! And her teasing is far more dangerous.

(Natasha) "S/O, when do you think we'll be able to add another member for the Moles?"

Natasha gave them a wink, making S/O suddenly seize up.

(S/O) "Wha-!? N-Natasha! Not in front of the kids!-"

(Natasha) "Oh? So it's fine when you say things like that in front of them, but not for me?"

She asked in a casual tone, laughing as the children homed in on their location.

(Hook) "Huh?! M-Miss Natasha, you're hiding recruits from us?"

(Natasha) "Hm, I wouldn't say I am. S/O, however...-."

Her smirk grows as the Moles suddenly start interrogating S/O, demanding to know what they're hiding.

Of course, S/O can't say what Natasha meant out loud while their cheeks are burning red.

(Natasha) "A taste of your own medicine, dear.~"

March may also get easily flustered from S/O's affection, but the damage can be splashed right back at them!

Watching March and S/o flirt with one another is an endless cycle of one side being completely flustered while the other is extremely smug.

One moment it will go:

(S/O) "Aw, are you blushing, March?"

And then:

(March 7th) "Hah, it's on the other foot now, S/O! You're not so tough when your hands are laced with mine!"

Truthfully, the Astral Express crew finds it kind of exhausting.

But when they're in private, both of them are reduced to silent blushing messes.

(March 7th) "Do...y-you wanna cuddle?"

(S/O) "Y-Yeah. I would like that..."

Both of them swallowing their pride, they eventually cave in and relax without the nonstop flirting, simply enjoying the memories being created together.

Granted, the memories they did usually create was something to smile back on.

And cringe a little once they remembered they were doing that in front of everyone.

Himeko blushes from the teasing, but she isn't too caught off guard.

In fact, she loves just how playful S/O is, always trying to make themselves charming, which she admits does work.

But what makes them even more charming was the reaction when Himeko shuts them up by giving them a kiss or simply putting her head on their shoulder.

Watching them quickly go quiet and their face turn as red as her hair will never get old.

(Himeko) "Hm? Sorry sweetie, I seem to have cut you off. You were saying?~"

(S/O) "I-...W-Well I was...-"

A gentle but hearty laugh escapes Himeko, one hand brushing against their face as she feels the entire body freeze from the sudden affection.

(Himeko) "You're adorable, you know that?"

Asta pouts everytime S/O laughs from her stuttering.

(Asta) "C-Come on, stop teasing me!"

(S/O) "Sorry, I can't help it. Your reactions are too cute!"

(Asta) "Stooop!"

Her whine only encourages S/O to increase the levels of their teasing.

However, Asta learned that they're just as susceptible to succumbing to the blushy silence as much as her!

Asta held their hands in retaliation, about to say something before realizing S/O's eyes were wide and were quickly heating up from the action.

Making a smirk slowly grow on Asta's lips.

(Asta) "Hah! Not so cute when it's being done on you is it?!"

Ever since then, she has known no fear.

Whenever S/O was getting too cheeky, she'd give them a kiss and watch their brain blue-screen.

(Asta) "Hm? Are you going to finish the thought?"

Seele found their teasing a little annoying, because of how often they'd try to provoke a reaction out of her.

Sometimes it did work when it was more affectionate, but most of the time it just made Seele groan.

(Seele) "Seriously? I can eat by myself you know-."

(S/O) "Come on, say 'aaah!'"

S/O began laughing as she rolled her eyes, before quickly grabbing a spoonful of soup and sticking it into S/O's mouth, albeit gently.

Watching their eyes widen and cheeks brighten finally gave her a different reaction other than annoyance.

(Seele) "Huh...So this is what it feels like. I can see why you do it now."

She teased, chuckling as she made the spoon leave their lips.

Now that Seele knew this little fun fact about S/O, it was her job to begin tormenting them.

Whether it be a sudden hug from behind, a passionate kiss on the lips, or even just her arms wrapping around theirs.

Seele now had a new weapon in her arsenal.

Embarassment.

(Seele) "No need to be so shy, you had no problem when you were pulling this stunt on me."

Yoimiya could tell at first glance just how fragile S/O's bravado was.

Sure, she could get a bit flushed in the face from their flirting, but with how energetic she is, she was quick to adapt.

Yoimiya gives S/O a peck on the cheek and giggles at how they would instantly forget what they were saying.

(Yoimiya) "Come on, silly! If you can deal it, you gotta take it too!"

Some days she would let their flirting slide, in part due to her own flustered brain trying to stabilize, but it was also to make the moments she did bite back all the more special!

Though truthfully, Yoimiya found the fact they got so flustered so endearing, it made her fall in love with them all over again.

Because they could at least get embarassed together from their antics.

And with how often she hugged or just had some part of her body intertwined with S/O's, Yoimiya got to see the face she loved get all bashful up close.

It usually resulted in her giving them a loving kiss due to how just dang cute they were!

(Yoimiya) "Wow, I thought you'd have gotten used to this by now! Guess there's always next time, heh!~"

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail headcanons #natasha hsr x reader #march 7th x reader #himeko honkai star rail x reader #asta hsr x reader #yoimiya x reader #natasha honkai star rail #march 7th honkai star rail #himeko hsr #asta honkai star rail #yoimiya genshin impact

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dmercer91 · 2 months

Note

More subby!matt it’s giving me life right now

nsfw headcanons [2], mk23

part two to this beauty of a list, but with all subby!matt, cause we all know and love him.

he's completely and totally obsessed with your thighs, cannot imagine a world in which he's not often between them. really, really likes to use them as pillows during couch snuggles.

only gets a lot distracted when you sit down and they flood a little

he brings an item of your clothing that he sprays with your perfume on roadies and shoves is face into it to keep himself quiet in hotel rooms.

he made the mistake of bringing a pair of panties once, and had to very bashfully lie that he shoved his clothes into a bag unfolded from the dryer, and that they must've been in a ball of stuff cause he got caught with them when he was looking for smth in his bag

he likes to bite, usually just nipping but there have been a few times he's bitten into your shoulder.

when you're being mean about him getting loud he bites down onto his hand

getting his hair played with is his personal heaven and he really likes to lay directly on top of you and get scalp scratchies (preferably while you warm him, but we all know how bad he is at sitting still)

when he's going down on you he really wants to do a good job and he does but he's undeniably messy abt it and he can't stop babbling

the first time he was very deep in a subby mood eating you out, he got so in his head and excited to taste you when you finished that the thought of it had him fucking into the mattress and he came in his boxers

he was so sensitive that he left marks on your hips from his grip when he slid inside you

during the all star break you would come home every day from work to him with dinner made, with these sweet puppy eyes while you tried what he made cause he wanted you to like it more than anything he's ever wanted before, he thinks

and on the second or third night, you tell him he should be resting during his time off.

"wanna take care of you, though" he argues and you shake your head

"i'll make dinner when i come home tomorrow, hm? you relax, catch up with friends or somethin'" and it was like the mere thought of not catering to you was unfathomable to him

so, you started to palm him

and then suddenly denying anything you said was unfathomable to him, he couldn't remember what his point was

his eyes fluttered back and you told him again.

"gonna- oh.. m' gonna let you make dinner tomorrow..."

"theres a good boy,"

and, i don't remember if i touched on his praise kink in the og hc list, but i'll do it again

he drinks it up like he needs to survive

the first time you called him a good boy, he immediately came inside you with no warning for you or even himself. so, you decided you'd use it against him

he'll beg and beg, even tell you he doesn't need to come as long as you tell him he's good for you, cause he wants you to confirm that he's doing everything just right

he needs you to be proud of him and he will do absolutely anything for you to think highly of him and his efforts.

he babbles about how much he loves you…. a lot

and you’ll tell him how much you love him in return and it’s like his brain goes quiet, he hums contently, quits his begging cause he’s got everything he could ever want right in his lap

#e’s headcanons !#matthew knies #matthew knies smut #matthew knies x reader #hockey imagine #nhl imagine

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archangeldyke-all · 4 months

Note

Subtop amab sevika please? Making her beg to fuck you and call her a good girl when she makes you cum 🥺

hehehehe gonna combine this with another ask i got too

sevika begs to eat you out ? 😋

i'm gonna continue the amab ceo trend we've got going on, because i've become emotionally attached to her lmaoo. thank u @love-sugarr for the inital prompt that started it all <3

enjoy!

men and minors dni

as much as she likes taking charge, and as good as it she is, sometimes sevika needs to turn her mind off.

she works really fucking hard during the days. you're constantly impressed by her knowledge, her ability to read situations, her quick decision making and her mental math. she's incredible.

and sometimes, she gets burnt out.

sometimes she comes home from work and collapses into a heap on the bed, groaning and wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and turn her brain off.

before you were together, she'd spend these nights drinking and smoking and flipping through shitty tv shows.

but now, she's got a much better way to turn her brain off.

it doesn't happen often, but when it does, you can always tell.

like today.

by lunchtime, sevika's eyes had glazed over with exhaustion..

on the drive home, she was completely silent, not even teasing you when you hit the curb pulling out of the parking lot.

at home, she walked right past her home gym, heading to the bedroom to starfish out on the bed and stare at the ceiling.

and now it's dinner, and sevika hasn't even tried her food.

enough is enough. it's time for you to take care of your girl.

sevika's got her head in her hand, her eyes glazed over and staring off into space. she doesn't even register you getting up from the table.

sevika blinks back to reality when you pull her chair out from the table and sit yourself down in her lap.

"wha?" she asks. you grin.

"hey, baby." you say. sevika blinks and gulps.

"hi." she whispers. you lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead. sevika's eyelashes flutter.

"you okay?" you ask. she hums.

"'m fine." she says. you smirk, reaching up to scratch against her scalp. she sighs.

"you're spacey." you say. "and tired." you add on.

sevika huffs. "i'm okay, really." she says, always hesitant to admit her weaknesses. you glare at her and she sighs, rolling her eyes. "fuckin' hate it when you do that." she says. you laugh.

"do what?" you ask.

"see right through me." she grumbles. you lean forward to press a kiss to her cheek.

"you like it." you say. sevika's lips twitch up at the sides. "plus, you're not hard to read. 's just that everyone else's too scared to call you out on it."

sevika chuckles. "and you're fucking insane and have no sense of self preservation." she says. you laugh.

"or i'm smarter than all those stupid fuckers and i know a catch when i see one." you say, winking. sevika snorts and winds her hands around your waist.

"something like that." she says, nuzzling her head against your chest.

for a few minutes, you just hold her against you, letting her nuzzle against your tits and breathe in your scent. you scratch at her scalp, kissing her hair every other minute.

when the tension in her shoulders disappears, and she's putty in your hands, you know you can start the next phase of your plan.

winding your hand through her hair, you gently tug sevika's head back so you can look in her eyes.

"wanna turn your brain off for a bit?" you ask. sevika blinks up at you.

"it's too early for bed." she says, confused. you laugh and swoop down to kiss her lips, swiping your tongue over her bottom lip before nipping it, pulling away when she gasps.

"i was thinkin' about something else. the bed'll be involved, but we won't be sleeping." you say.

you watch as sevika's mind slowly catches up to you, her eyes growing wide, her lips parting. she gulps, then speaks.

"yes, please." she whispers. you grin, and kiss her again.

dinner grows cold on the table, forgotten as you and sevika make out on your bed.

she's always so sensitive when she's like this. right now, she's shivering beneath you as you suck on her tongue and gently scratch your nails down her sides.

it takes a while for her to melt into her subbier head-space, but you know she's there when she starts whimpering beneath you, unable to take her eyes off you each time you pull away, her hands clawing into your hips and her thighs squeezing together beneath you.

"you okay?" you tease her. she whines.

"i-- i--"

you kiss her nose, and sevika's eyes cross as she tries to keep her gaze focused on you. when you pull away, sevika gulps.

"i'm okay." she whispers, her voice shaky.

you giggle. "you seem a little flustered, babe." you tease her. she blinks, too far gone to defend herself.

"want you." she admits. you smile.

"yeah?"

"so bad." she says, nodding.

"how do you want me?" you ask, starting to grind little circles against her bulge from where you're straddling her lap. she takes a shaky breath.

"however you'll have me." she whispers. you laugh.

"gonna have to be more specific than that, baby. i got about a million things i wanna do to you at any given moment."

sevika doesn't answer, she's too busy squirming beneath you. you laugh and flick her forehead.

"i asked you a question." you say.

"i, uh, what was it?" she asks, a blush blooming on her cheeks. you smile.

"what do you want from me?" you ask. sevika gulps.

"your cunt." she says honestly. you grin.

"i know that, honey, you gotta tell me how you want it." you say as you slowly begin to unbutton her shirt.

she's distracted again, panting like she's run a marathon as she watches your fingers slowly free her chest of her button up. you pull it over her shoulders, then unclasp her bra, freeing her tits. when she still doesn't answer, you flick her nipples. she squeaks and jumps.

"answer my question." you demand. sevika takes a shaky breath and shakes her head to clear it.

"on my mouth." she says. you smile.

"there you go honey, there's my good girl."

the nickname does something to sevika, and suddenly the distracted cloudy look in her eyes vanishes, replaced by pure desperation and lust. you laugh at her.

"gotta tell you though, baby," you continue, "that's a pretty big ask." you tease.

in reality, you're soaked. your clit's throbbing at the prospect of getting sevika's mouth on you, and you'd never deny an opportunity to get head from your girl. sevika knows this, too, or at least, she usually does.

right now, though, she's all subby and sweet and stupid, licking her lips as her big puppy eyes look up at you, waiting for your next command.

"you might have to beg for it." you say.

sevika whimpers, and in her pants, her cock twitches.

you slide off her lap and she pouts at the loss. you take your time laying against the pillows, seductively spreading your still clothed legs, and beckoning sevika forward with a crooked finger.

she scrambles to get between your legs, desperate to be near you again. you laugh and sling your hands over her shoulders, pulling her down for a kiss.

she moans against your mouth, sinking her hips against yours to grind her clothed cock against your cunt. you tug her hair and she whines.

"who said you could do that?" you ask, glaring up at her. she gulps and looks away.

"'m sorry." she whispers. you smirk and press a kiss to her cheek, then shove her away from you.

"get naked." you command. sevika nods and almost falls on her ass with how quickly she scrambles off the bed to pull her pants off. you have to reach out to grab her elbow and steady her as she trips over the legs of her pants, eager to get back to you on the bed.

when she's back between your legs, you can practically see her tail wagging in excitement as she awaits your next command. you smile and lean forward to peck her lips, then pull away to take in her naked form.

her cock's hard and twitching, bumping against her abs each time it pulses. there's a very tempting little bead of pre forming on the tip, and you have to bite your lip to remind yourself that you're the one who's in charge tonight.

"now strip me. but no touching." you say, pointing at her. she nods, then shoots forward to tear at your clothes.

you hear a few seams rip in her hurry, but decide not to chastise her. at this point, you're way too fucking horny to care about your clothes.

in a flash, your naked beneath her, and sevika's licking her lips as her eyes trail up and down your body. you laugh.

"see somethin' you like?" you ask. sevika nods, not taking her eyes off your tits. "wanna touch?" you ask. sevika nods again.

"yes, yes, please." she whispers. you smile.

"where?"

"anywhere." she replies. you laugh.

"gimmie your hands." you demand, reaching out to take her hands into yours. you slowly trail her hands down your sides, until they're on your hips. "keep 'em there." you say. sevika nods so hard a piece of her hair escapes her tiny ponytail, falling into her face. you smile and reach up to tuck it behind her ear.

"there's my baby. my pretty girl." you praise her. you watch in fascination as sevika's hips hump the air and her chest trembles with the shaky breath the words bring out of her. "you like that?" you ask. sevika nods.

"yes." she whispers. her hands are clawing at your hips, her lip between her teeth.

"you still wanna taste me?" you ask.

"yes." sevika says desperately, her eyes snapping back up to yours. you smile.

"beg for it." you say. sevika blinks, then her mouth falls open and the dam breaks.

"please please please lemme taste you. want it so fuckin' bad you look so fuckin' good i need it baby, fuck i need it. please, i promise i'll be good-- i've been good, haven't i?" she asks, her voice wobbly. you smile and cup her cheek.

"you've been so good." you say, nodding. "but i'm gonna need a little more than that."

sevika whines and trembles, and you reach down to play with her tits. "i don't-- what do you-- please!" she whines.

there are tears forming in her eyes, and you decide to take mercy on her.

"go ahead." you say.

sevika doesn't even wait until you finish your sentence to flop down on her stomach between your legs and get her mouth on your cunt.

fuck does she have a good mouth. it's wicked-- she's been touching you for approximately twenty seconds and you're already on the brink of orgasm.

she's messy, especially when she's like this, not caring about the drool leaking from her lips or the cum covering her face, just absolutely devouring your pussy and moaning into it like she's the one getting head.

you tangle your hands in her hair and tug. "slower!" you demand.

sevika whines, but complies, her harsh fast sucks easing, becoming long, languid licks up and down your cunt.

"there you go, baby." you whisper. "good girl."

sevika moans against your cunt, her eyes snapping up to look at your face, begging for more praise. you smile down at her and scratch at her scalp, admiring the way her eyes roll to the back of her head.

"so good sev, so good. 's is all you need, huh? just need some pussy? need me to take charge, let you turn your brain to mush?" you ask. sevika's trying her best to nod against you, her nose bumping your clit with every bob of her head. "you're so perfect. such a hard worker-- fuck like that-- so fuckin' hot in your suits 'n ties... oh god, your mouth, baby. perfect fuckin' mouth."

below you, sevika starts humping against the sheets. you tug her hair harshly.

"cut it out. that cum's mine, you understand?" you ask.

sevika pulls away from your cunt to let out the most delicious, pathetic little whine you've ever heard from her. you grin, then push her face back against your pussy.

"you're so fuckin' cute. 'n you're all mine, aren't you?" you ask. sevika nods again, her nose bumping your clit repeatedly, making you gasp. "fuck, 'm close. 'f you make me cum, i might let you fuck me." you say.

sevika buries her face even further against you at your words, her eyes looking up at you, big and wet and watery, reverent and desperate.

"my perfect girl. my baby. fuckin' love you baby. love you so much. you're mine." you grunt out as your orgasm draws closer. "mine, mine, mine." you continue.

between your legs, sevika's nodding fervently and moaning against your cunt.

she pulls away for just a moment to suck in a gasp and whisper, "yours," before diving back down and sucking your clit into her mouth.

that's all it takes for you, and you cum with a loud gasp. "oh, sevika!" you groan as your orgasm washes over you.

she growls against your cunt, her fingers digging into your hips so hard you're sure she's drawn blood, her hips starting to hump against the bed again.

when you catch your breath and realize what she's doing, you tug her hair harshly and pull her up your body until she's hovering over you.

her face is soaked. there's even some drool or cum in her eyebrows, which makes you chuckle. you reach up to wipe her clean, and she keeps her big, eager eyes on yours the whole time.

"such a good girl." you whisper. sevika lets out a happy little sound and nuzzles against your hand.

"thank you." she says. you smile and pull her down for a kiss, moaning at the taste of your cum on her lips. she hums against you.

between your legs, sevika's cock is poking your thigh, swollen and wet and angry. your stomach clenches.

sevika's seemed to completely forget her own arousal, happy to just cuddle against you, but you haven't. you reach down to grab her ass and laugh at the little squeak it pulls out of her.

"now be a doll and fuck me. 'f you make me cum, i might let you try 'n knock me up. but only if you're good."

sevika's eyes nearly cross in excitement and lust, and she lets out a small whimper as she remembers the lower half of her body.

"really?" she asks, disbelieving, like you've ever denied her an orgasm before. you haven't, you don't have the heart, but it's cute the way she seems to completely forget everything else when she gets like this.

"maybe." you lie.

she nods eagerly and then pries her eyes away from your face to line her cock up with your hole, looking back up at you the second she's got herself situated.

when she pushes in you sigh and sevika whines, collapsing on top of you and burying her face against your shoulder.

"f-fuck!" she whimpers.

you reach up to wrap a hand in her hair, the other wrapping around her back, holding her in a half hug and rubbing in small circles against her as she collects herself on top of you.

"you okay?" you ask, clenching your cunt around her.

"ah!" she squeaks. you laugh evilly.

"i asked you a question." you remind her.

sevika takes a shaky breath. "'m tryin' not to cum." she whispers. you laugh again, wrapping your legs around her hips and squeezing them, pulling her impossibly closer to you.

"now fuck me." you command.

sevika whines against you. "but--"

"fuck. me." you demand.

sevika lets out a shaky whimper against your shoulder as she starts slowly thrusting in and out of your cunt. she starts with shallow little thrusts, teasing you while she tries to collect herself.

eventually, she gets herself under control, and her thrusts get harder, quicker, deeper. you sigh.

"there you go, that's a good girl." you say. sevika grunts against you. "y' always know how to fuck me just right, don't you baby?" you ask. "such a good fuckin' girl for me, so perfect."

sevika sinks her teeth into your shoulder at the praise, trying to keep from cumming at your words. you giggle.

"awe, 're you close?" you tease. sevika whimpers.

"n-no." she lies. you laugh.

"you're a bad liar, babe. can feel your dick throbbin' inside me." you say. sevika whimpers again.

"y' just feel so good." she whines.

"awe, i know. 's like this cunt was made for you, huh?" you ask. sevika whines and nods. "like your cock was made for me." you whisper. sevika nods again. you press a kiss to her hair. "'s all yours, baby. all for you." you say. "and who are you?" you ask.

she pulls away from your neck to stare down at you.

"yours." she whispers. you smile and nod up at her.

"say it again." you say, reaching down to fiddle with your clit.

"yours!" she says, gasping as your cunt starts twitching and clenching around you. "y-yours, momma, all yours. 'm yours." she says.

"oh, baby, i love you." you say.

suddenly, sevika tenses up, her face scrunching and a pathetic little "no!" escaping her lips as she cums inside of you.

you gasp at the sensation, then let out a full belly laugh as sevika buries her head against you, her hips still grinding against you as she fills you with her cum.

"'m sorry." she mumbles. "'m sorry, felt so good, 'm sorry." she says.

you kiss her hair. "keep going." you say.

"wha?" she asks. you tug her hair.

"keep. going." you say. "still gotta make me cum."

"but i--"

"better hurry before you go soft." you say.

sevika's eyes go wide, and she gulps, before she starts fucking you again.

she's whimpering with each thrust, her dick sensitive and overwhelmed, her arms shaky where they hold her up. each time she humps into you, she lets out a sweet little, 'ah!' she's adorable.

you start toying with your clit again, you've been close since she got inside you, but now, with her cum leaking out of you with each thrust and her sweet little over-stimulated whines in your ear, you're on the brink.

"that's it, baby, keep goin'." you encourage her. sevika bites her lip, her brows furrowed as she nods. "you're so perfect. such a good fuckin' girl. so fuckin' cute-- can't even control yourself. cummin' the second you get inside me, you're pathetic. fuck i love you." you ramble as you get closer. above you, sevika's gasping at your words.

"'m sorry." she whimpers, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes from her overstimulated cock.

"don't be sorry. say 'thank you' for letting you fuck me." you demand. sevika nods.

"thank you, thank you, thank you so fuckin' much. feels so good. so warm so wet, fuck, thank you." she grunts.

you cum from her words, your clenching cunt pulling a pathetic, pained wince out of sevika as she collapses on top of you while you fall apart beneath her.

for a few minutes, the two of you just lay together, catching your breath. then, when the stars in your eyes fade and sevika's shuddering breaths even out, you reach down to smack her ass. she jolts against you and giggles.

"you're so perfect." you say. "i love you so fuckin' much, baby."

"lub y' too." sevika mumbles against you, already half asleep. you laugh and push at her shoulders and she groans as she flops onto her back. you crawl on top of her, her cum dripping out of your cunt and onto her abs, and pepper kisses across her face.

sevika giggles like she's high, her whole face scrunched up as you assault her with smooches.

"i love you i love you i love you i love you!" you say between kisses. sevika's giddy beneath you, the cute little gap in her teeth on full display with her grin.

"i love you too." she says. you smile down at her. "thank you." she adds on. your smile turns into a smirk.

"y' don't have to thank me anymore, baby. i should be thanking you." you say. she chuckles.

"i mean thank you for lettin' me turn my brain off. 's nice. you're the only one i can be stupid around, 'n you still take care of me."

you melt, leaning down to press your lips against hers, sighing against her as she wraps her arms around your back.

"i'll always take care of you, y'know?" you ask. sevika nods, sincerely.

"i know."

"i love you." you say. she smiles and reaches up to tug you back down for another kiss.

"i love you too." she mumbles against your lips.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss

#this was way longer than i intended hahaha whoops #it's my bedtime now so no more requests tonight #but i have another free day tomorrow so i'll be finishing catching up then!! love u guys <33 #sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #sevika smut

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cloudsmateria · 3 months

Text

college roommate - leon kennedy x reader

nerdy!reader x leon kennedy

synopsis: you and leon have just started university, finding yourself in the same university visit, he comes and visits your dorm as he's been struggling in his classes. you kick it off, and you invite each other into your different, interesting lives.

words: like 4500

disclaimer: this isn't proof-read and i actually do need to proofread it and i will when i finish it, this also isn't finished. so if u don't wanna read it now and wanna come back to it when it's pristine and complete be my guest, the edit of this will be very edited like literally whole chunks of texts will be different, i just wanted to post something

content warning: kissing, bit of angst, slight smut/almost smut, sexual themes

A loud knock rings through your door, if it had come even a second later you wouldn’t have heard it at all as you were on a one-way path to passing out on top of your notes.

“Come in.” You mumble, picking your head up off of the desk and watching as a dirt-blonde hunk of a boy you don’t recognise comes through. Maybe it’s one of the frat boys trying to get to know all the girls in his dorm house.

“Hey. Can I ask a favour?”

“Who are you?”

"I'm Leon, I saw you in my engineering lecture the other day and you looked like you understood what was going on. Then I found out you were in my university building. So here, I am. Help. Please. I’m going to fail and we’re only 3 weeks in." His desperation makes you laugh, something you were shocked you could do in this dazed state after a mind-boggling 8 hours of completing work.

"Oh Leon, I'd love to but I think if I even think about that engineering class for another second right now I might actually drop down and die."

"It can wait, you busy right now? Other than you know, spilling drool all over your papers?”

“Yeah, I was just about to go spill some on my pillow too, I'm exhausted." You say, not entirely joking, and begin to gather your things.

“I get it.”

“We have another engineering lecture tomorrow anyway so you can just catch me then."

"You sure, though? I mean I'm already here." He shrugs and picks up a book from her bookshelf. "How do you read any of these? There are no pictures." You laugh again.

"You're asking me how I read physics books when you take engineering… Are you sure you picked the right course? You know, you can read it if you want, and would probably benefit from it. If you can even read."

"No thanks, I'll just get you to teach it to me tomrrow. I’ll see you in a bit, Einstein.”

"You should watch what you call me if you want me to tutor you, that’s usually not free."

"Oh, but the thing is I don't think you're actually going to make me pay for anything. You're too nice for that."

"That's a very bold statement to make to a stranger."

"You'll come round eventually."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Can I just ask you another question? I'm not going to stop annoying you until you answer it the way I want you to."

"Go on." You sigh.

"Have you eaten today? Cause I haven't and I'm hungry."

"Leon-"

"Please."

"Okay, okay, God, you're persistent. Gonna give me a headache." You groan and sit up.

"It’s worth it, you'll need me to keep you sane later in the year."

"Oh really? You think we’re gonna stay friends that long?"

"I know you've got your nerdy brain, but I've been told I have a great personality." You can't tell if he's implying something with that disgustingly stupid joke or if he really is just an idiot. To be fair, he's funny and managed to pull you out your the room you had been hibernating in for the past few days to get ahead of work. You suppose there are worse people you could be forced to talk to.

"Whatever. Just get out of here." You push him towards the door.

"You're not going to eat with me?" You roll your eyes and lock the door, getting dressed into something that wasn't your pyjamas.

…

Now here you were, eating outside with this boy from your lectures when you had just wanted to be at home sleeping. Although it was nicer than you thought it would be, he had insisted on buying you an energy drink to keep your eyes open as you were eating in some random burger shop.

"How come you're struggling?"

"Been going to too many parties, I've got different priorities."

"..."

"What?" He says defensively.

"Don't make me slap you. You can't be stupid because you got into this university, you're wasting your potential."

"I am not!"

"You're struggling! We're only 3 weeks in! I mean, come on, Leon."

"I don't understand what your problem is, maybe you need to live a little."

"That is rich coming from you. You're going to peak in college and fuck up the rest of your life if you ruin your chance now. And I live fine right now, I go out often enough and put the rest of my time toward my course, like a responsible human being."

"So you're boring?"

"So you're an idiot and can't plan for the future?"

"No, I'm not." He smirks. "And also, I never said I couldn't plan for the future, just that it isn't the only thing I want to focus on."

"Okay, fine, that's it. This is your problem, I'm not tutoring you."

"Got under your skin?" He smiles.

"I'm serious. You're smart if you got into this school, but you're wasting your talent partying and sleeping around."

“You’ve only known me for 20 minutes and you’ve managed to start an argument.”

“I just don’t want to waste my time. If you want me to help with assignments you need to make an effort, and if you want to be my friend, you’re also going to need to make an effort because I’m not going to care about someone who can’t even care about themselves.”

"I care about myself. Why else would I come to you for help on this?"

"Because you can't do it yourself and your friends are too stupid to ask them for help."

"No... Well... Okay fine, yeah that sounds pretty accurate. But in all honesty, I do care about my grade, that's why I'm coming to you. Now you know my intentions, I beg talk about something else, this entire conversation is reminding me of my mom."

"Like what?"

"Like, there's a party next Saturday, and I think you should come with me. You’re pretty entertaining."

"Oh, Leon. You're so clueless, it's pitiful."

"You have to go to the party, it will be fun."

"I have been to parties, I've gone to 2 since the start of the semester. But we have assignments to work on this week."

"One more little party isn't going to kill you. It'll be good, and then we can do the work."

"That's a very backward mindset."

"You'll thank me, trust me."

"You say the reason you’re struggling is because you’re going to many parties, and immediately proceed to invite me to a party." You shake your head and laugh. “You are something else.”

“So are you coming?”

“I’ll think about it.”

…

You and Leon had been going to the lectures together ever since, having lunch at points when he wasn’t hoarded by his friends and even managing a few study sessions into his schedule. You came 5 minutes early for the engineering lecture the next day. Flipping through the textbook notes to top up on your pre-reading beforehand, you had right at the back as Leon begged you to over text the previous night to sit there rather than the front so he’d feel comfortable sitting next to you. It doesn't take long for people to start filtering in, and eventually, that blonde-headed boy pops up next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder immediately.

"Didn't get enough sleep last night." He mutters.

"Up studying?"

"You know me so well."

“I'm not even going to ask what you were doing." You sigh, fully believing he had either gone clubbing or to another party last night.

"I promise you, I was studying. And you can ask me all the questions you want, I'll try my best to answer. I did go a little off track and I'm not doing well at it but your inspirational speech convinced me to try a bit."

"Really?" You ask excitedly, looking down at him. "Leon, that's great!" You feel his cheeks crease into a smile against your shoulder at your enthusiasm.

"You're more excited about it than I am, that's cute." He chuckles. "Keep talking, my head hurts, your voice helps."

"The lecture starts soon."

"Don't care."

"I’m not going to talk over the lecturer." You say, flicking his forehead.

"It's just a lot, okay? I'm trying my best, but I might have reached my full capacity last night." He sits up and sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Welcome to university."

"Yeah, whatever. Can we go back to your room after?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

The professor finally steps into the lecture hall, and everyone quiets down, preparing for the lesson.

Halfway through, Leon couldn't help but pass out on you again. Your body went rigid, trying to make sure his head wouldn't fall off your shoulder. You pick the paper off of his desk, dragging it toward you as you start to write notes on your own and his paper so he won't miss out on anything.

He's surprisingly cute when he's not cracking annoying jokes and snapping back with snarky remarks. He was even making you lose track of the lecture a bit.

After class, you wake him up and walk him back to your dorm with him, chatting and catching him up on what he missed briefly. When you think about it, you're surprised you only met him yesterday. He feels like someone you've known since secondary school, or maybe he just treats everyone this way. Either way, you wouldn't complain about spending time with him.

"So, we're alone. What do we do?"

"Study?" You say, throwing him a pencil and paper. "Don't ask me stupid questions like that again."

"Come on, we just got out of an hour lecture, we basically already studied."

"A lecture that you slept for half of-"

"And that you caught me up on after."

"We need to make up the time. Now come on, let's work."

"But-"

"Now, Leon."

"Ugh."

…

The next hour wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be, you could still get your work done while simultaneously teaching Leon that content he missed out on. His demeanour quickly became enthusiastic when he saw how proud you were when you understood a concept, and you were genuinely impressed, he caught onto things quickly. After an hour, you both took a break sitting on your bed, him replying to some messages on his phone.

"Hey." You say, poking his arm to draw his attention.

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making the effort to try, even if it is just a little bit."

"You're definitely making more effort than me." He smiles, leaning his head on your shoulder again.

"If you want to sleep you should just go home, you must be exhausted."

"I'm not leaving you in this depressing room, I'm keeping you company."

"I’m not keeping you from anything? Your phone was blowing up a second ago I assume you have somewhere to be."

"They can wait, I want to stay around for a bit longer. I like the change for once."

"Change?"

"It's quiet, I can think for once. You’re different from the people I’m around smart and stubborn,”

“So you’re aware of the poor choice of people you hang around, you had me fooled for a while.”

“Wait I’m not done, and even after all of that, I can tell that you're a little shy which is adorable. Oh, and my favourite part is how easy you are to annoy."

"I am not."

"You're blushing right now, I can feel your cheek getting hot. Adorable."

"Don’t you even close your mouth?"

"You know I can't, come on, it's not like you mind."

"Oh my god."

"Admit it, I'm fun to be around."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Tell me what you think of me."

"What?"

"Tell me, come on. Please, I'm dying for validation."

"Well. You're nice, and I've never seen you without a smile on your face, it's refreshing.”

“A little more… I know you got it in you.”

“You're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be,. And I honestly can't tell if I'm special or if you treat everyone else this way because you make me feel way more important than I really would be for someone like you."

"You're special, trust me. And that's a stupid question to ask. Do you want a list of the people I've met? The people I’ve made friends with?"

"What?"

"I can count on one hand the real people I've managed to keep around and one of those is my dog. Don't worry about that, because I know you’re gonna be on that list too. I know you think that I have so many friends and I'm surrounded by people all the time, but they're all fake. They're just fun for parties and clubbing when you have nothing else to do."

"But-"

"It's true." He looks at you, his expression becoming serious for the first time since you've met him. "And I've got to tell you, you're different."

"Different?"

"Yeah, you're interesting. You're not fake, and you're actually doing something with your life."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, I think you’ve just surrounded yourself with one particular type of person, and now you’re shocked when you meet someone who’s not an idiot."

"Come on, I've seen the work you've done in these past 24 hours. You were working for at least 25 of them.”

"You know how to flatter me."

"That's another reason why you should hang out with me more."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I'm not afraid to admit how much I like you, Einstein. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?"

"I can't even think about what I should say to that." You say, laughing and burying your head in your hands. "God, you're a mess."

“I suppose, yeah. You’re changing that though.” He lifts your chin up to face him, smiling at your red cheeks. “See? So cute.”

"Why do you have to keep saying things like that?"

"Because you react this way." He grins.

"I hate you."

"Let me ask you something again. Are you going to go to the party on Saturday?"

"I don’t think so."

“Since I’ve got the chance, I think I can change your mind.” He smiles and pulls your face a little closer, close enough for him to feel your shallow breaths against his lips.

"I-" You can't find any words, you're stunned. He's gorgeous, and you can't deny that, but the idea of kissing him feels wrong, you can't do it. Not right now. The thought of getting with someone you're starting to have feelings for is setting off alarm bells, the alarm bells imprinted by your bad experiences from secondary school of guys playing with your emotions. No matter how much your heart is screaming you want to, your mind is screaming no.

"You're gonna go with me right?" He whispers.

"Okay." You say hoarsely, your legs desperately pressed together.

"Good girl." He smiles, getting up and putting his shoes on. "I'll see you on Saturday." He says, before leaving.

"I'm screwed." You mutter.

…

Saturday finally rolled around. You weren't even sure how much time you spent with Leon the day before, but you knew you wanted more. This was starting to become a concern for you. You remember last year, when you were hurt so bad you pledged to never fall for someone again. You can't do this, not with him. You know Leon is exactly that kind of guy, he’s charming, an athlete, with too many friends for his own good, someone who has no reason to be associated with you unless he wanted something, and was patient when it came to getting it.

And yet, here you were, wearing a simple little black dress and the heels Leon said would match. You pray that the feelings are cut off here, hopefully he sees you as just a friend and just likes to tease. But a little part of you has a sliver of hope that maybe this is real.

Leon came to pick you up from your room, as he was only a floor away. When you opened the door you were met with Leon dressed in a black bottom down with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up which definitely made you feel some kind of way.

"Leon, hi." You say, overly aware of the fabric hugging your skin, you rarely wore tight clothes.

"Wow." His eyes were stuck to everything that wasn't your face.

"Hey! My eyes are on my face, not my chest."

"I know."

"Leon!"

"Just admiring the view." You ended up crossing your arms to try and hide a bit of your figure.

"Can you stop looking?"

"You look great, don't worry." He says.

"Whatever."

"No, I'm serious. I mean it, you look amazing. Just relax and have fun, okay?" He puts his arm around your waist, pulling you close. "You look hot. And it's only going to get better. Just try to have a good time, I'll be by your side the whole time.”

"I've been to a party before, you don't need to baby me."

"I know it’s just this one is a big one. They always end in a mess. I've had a couple of close calls with the police."

"That's not what I'm worried about." I'm worried about what I might end up doing with you, she thinks.

"Just tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable and we can go." He smiles and leads you out of the dorm building and into the street.

"How far is it?"

"Only a few minutes away." He says, leading you along the sidewalk.

The walk wasn't too far, it was about 20 minutes of you both drinking from a wine bottle for some pre-game. Time seemed to fly by as you came to the house. Whoever was hosting this party, probably one of Leon's friends no doubt, was rich. The house was huge and the whole thing was vibrating with the music that blasted through it.

"We're here."

"I think it’s going to collapse.."

"Wait until you see inside." He grabs your hand and drags you in, the house packed. You didn't recognise anyone and felt a little intimidated as Leon led you through the crowd of people, pushing them aside. You couldn't believe there were this many students in the town.

He stops at the kitchen, handing you a drink. You hadn't gone to a party this big before, and that was voluntary, this was just too much. You drink it in one to hopefully get you drunk enough to gain a bit of confidence and hand it back to Leon for it to get refilled.

"I didn't know there were this many people here."

"There's usually a lot." He smiles, handing her another drink. "Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole night. You take a shot before starting to sip on the more tame drink Leon had gotten.

"What do you want to do first?"

"Let’s go find some of my friends.He says, taking your hand and dragging you through the sea of people, most likely dancing, grinding, or drinking.

He pulls you into the living room, finding his friends from one of the lectures and joining in on their conversation. You're introduced and you talk with them, they're all quite funny and sweet. You were happy to have found a fun little group.

The rest of the night is spent with them, the five of you getting progressively drunker and drunker and talking about more and more stupid shit before someone suggests the group should go and dance, you immediately go and hide behind Leon.

"Dancing is definitely not my thing." You whisper.

"You have to come."

"No way."

"Please." He says, looking into your eyes.

"Why?"

"I want you to."

"Leon."

"If you hate it, I'll make it up to you. Please." He whispers, and you sigh, giving in. "I know you'll enjoy it." He smiles and leads her by the hand into the living room where everyone is.

"Everyone's too drunk to be paying any attention anyway." He says, and the group joins in on the dance.

After a few more drinks the alcohol started to hit.

"Isn't so bad, is it?" He says after the first few minutes, watching you find your rhythm.

"No, it's fun."

"See, told you."

"Don't let it go to your head, I'm just drunk."

He smiles, spinning you so your back is pressed against his, the two of you continue to dance. He leans down and kisses your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist and grinding into you.

"Leon-"

"It's hard to control myself with you, almost kissed you that time I convinced you to come to this party, could tell you weren’t sure though."

"Because I thought we were just friends."

"That never lasts long, does it? Did you really think it was going to stay that way forever?" He says, running his hand down your thigh.

"We're drunk." You mumble, leaning your head back onto his shoulder. God, you wanted it. You were trying with everything you had to rationalise with yourself. He knew what he was doing.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're irresistible. And that's not the alcohol talking. I've been wanting to do this for a while."

He smirks, spinning her back around to face him and lifting you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

"Let's go upstairs,"

"Leon-"

"Shh." He puts a finger over her lips and leads her away, finding the stairs and walking up. “Stop doubting yourself. One thing about you is that you always say no, or doubt yourself, let’s change that for once.”

He takes you to the first room he finds, happening to be a bathroom, opening the door and stepping in, kicking it closed and locking it. He sets you down and starts to kiss you, the alcohol making it a lot more forceful than usual. You kiss back, letting him guide you and set the pace, his hands sliding over her body.

"You're so fucking beautiful." He mutters, his lips trailing down to your neck. You feel the pressure of his hands pushing you backwards. Your back hits the counter, he lifts you up and settles himself between your thighs.

"Leon-"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure? About me?"

"Yes." He smiles, lifting his head. "Now stop doubting yourself, will you? You're too perfect for that." If you were sober, your mind would've had red lights blaring, trying to protect you, but the alcohol flattened out all thoughts. A hint of doubt crossed your mind instinctually. But his touch is so good, and he's making you feel things that you haven't in a long time.

"I-"

"Come on, tell me how much you want me."

"I really like you, Leon. It's just...I have this feeling that I'll get hurt."

"What are you so afraid of? What can I do to change your mind?" He whispers. "I'll do anything for you." He says, pulling your head down to kiss him. The sweet nothings bring back some bad memories, it's starting to feel a bit like deja vu.

"I've been hurt before, Leon."

"What's his name? I'll kick his ass."

"It was in high school, but it happened too many times."

"You have to stop thinking, just focus on me, okay?"

"Leon."

"Come on." He sighs, pressing a finger to your lips. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I don't want to lose something because someone in your past ruined everything for you, okay?"

"I don't know."

He sighs. "Do you wanna head home ?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. Come on, I'll take you back."

"I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"No, I'm not letting you leave thinking you ruined it. I'm sure a million more parties are happening this week if you feel so bad."

"I'm a mess, Leon. Why do you even like me? I'm not worth it."

"Of course you are." He says, cupping your cheek."You're the only person I can stand to be around for hours while sober. And you can't argue with that."

"Okay."

"I'll get us out of here and you can crash in my room."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now come on, we're leaving."

...

The taxi ride home was short and sweet, but still awkward. You were scared he'd be mad at you for ending the night so abruptly, but when you got into the room he made sure to put his arm around you, whispering reassurement into your ear, stroking your hair.

"You don't have to worry. I'm not angry."

"Really?"

"I don't blame you for wanting to wait."

"It's just, the last time-"

"I'm not him, you can trust me. I've been trying to prove that to you."

"I think... Maybe I can learn to trust you."

"You will, eventually." He says, holding his arms open, gesturing for her to cuddle with him.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

You cuddle him for a bit, the silence being cut by the sound of the two of you breathing. Leon leans down to kiss capture your lips softly, it feels a lot easier to kiss him back, pressing your body against him.

"I don't know why anyone would ever hurt you." He whispers between kisses. "You're perfect." He runs his fingers through your hair.

"I don't know about that."

"I don't know why you doubt yourself either. Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

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