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sinfulpanda16 · 3 months

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Forget Him Sweetheart

Gojo Saturo x fem reader

Synopsis: You were just cheated on by your shit ex and go seek comfort from your friend Gojo, but one thing leads to another and soon you receive a huge comfort

You open the door to your apartment and head inside. So many things going on in your head and all of it gave you the biggest migraine. You close the door behind you and set your keys on the little table beside you. You stand there for a second and then your tears start to fall. You were able to hold them back when you saw your boyfriend cheating on you, on the drive home, and on the way up to your apartment. You wanted to be that woman you've always seeked to be. The one that would throw away her man like trash when he was caught cheating and not even be phased about it, but you couldn't hold them back. It only hurt your head more.

You walk to your bedroom and wrap yourself under the covers. This pain was immense, it hurt so much anyone could hear it in your cry. You grab one of your stuffed animals and cry into them trying to avoid being too loud. You never thought of yourself as cheatable but right now that's all you're calling yourself. Someone who can be cheated on easily. That night you fall asleep crying thinking that the last thing you thought of was yourself as unlovable but really the last thought in your head before you fell asleep was the thought of him, Gojo Saturo.

The next day you were working at your job. A cafe where a regular would visit. All the baristas fawned over him and honestly you did too. How could you not he was so tall and charming and not to sound full of yourself, he had a thing for you. Always calling you by pet names, sweet thing and sweetheart, he made you feel beautiful. Your friend had a way with women and you've always told him his future wife would be the luckiest girl on earth.

Speak of the devil, a tall white-head enters the cafe and immediately makes eye contact with you. He smirks and goes to sit at a table by the window. You go and stand next to him, "Hello ready for your order?"

Gojo looks up at you with an eyebrow raised, "What's wrong sweetheart. No 'Good Sir' today?" You have gotten close to him to the point where you'd call him Sir or Mr as a joke. Your guys relationship had a little bit of teasing in it but thats all it was you never thought more of it.

You gave a weak smile. "Oh sorry, I've just been," a flashback of your boyfriend kissing another womans neck came to your head. You heart pound against your chest and you subconsciously clutched the fabric of your uniform above your heart. You sighed, "I just been under the weather lately." You tried of thinking about anything else that would stop the tears from falling.

Gojo did not like the view in front of him. Why was sweet thing crying? He could tell that something was wrong but he knew he shouldn't push you here of all places. He could also tell that you were trying to hide it and probably felt embarrassed.

He chuckles softly, "Well then, I have my order ready."

You look at him and get ready to write down his order in your little notepad. He looks at you, "The whole menu. Cuz it's me-n-u." You're stunned but you laugh anyway. Gojo smirks, there we go that's better. Seeing that smile on your face just looks right.

You shove his shoulder playfully, "You wierdo."

He chuckles, "Ok for real though, can I get the espresso with..." he looks back at the menu for a bit but then turns to you "What are your favorite cookies from here?"

You smile at him, "I like (f/c). They're amazing Gojo! You should try them."

He puts his menu down, "Alright then sweetheart I'll have two (f/c) please."

You write down his order in your little notepad and giggle, "Alright then we'll have your order ready for you in no time."

He leans back in his chair "I'll be waiting. Don't take too long." he says giving you a wink. You blush and turn around to make his coffee all while Gojo stares at you in your cute uniform.

Gojo is smooth as hell. He didn't take his eyes of you. Anytime you were gonna look at his direction he'd already turn away to avoid your gaze. His strong instincts just knew that something was wrong. While you were making his coffee you looked a bit too sad when usually you would be smiling and he'd get to enjoy watching you be cute. Whatever happened to make you this depressed made him want to fight your problems for you. He would fight for you but you two established from the start that you guys would just be friends and so he knew it was not his place to go fending for you. That was your boyfriends' job.

After a while he finishes his drink and was on his last cookie. He grabs the last one and takes a bite of it. Why are you so cute? Even your favorite cookies were cute like you. He gets up and heads towards you where you were cleaning one of the tables. He acts dramatic when he says "MMM! These are good. I was expecting you to have terrible taste." he teases.

"Tch you're the one with terrible taste. Don't go rubbing it off on me." you tease back. By now the cafe has gotten filled with customers so you go back cleaning the table you were cleaning. You wish you could've just stayed home and take the day off. After what happened last night you honestly didn't have the will to work today. But if you didn't than you never were gonna become that strong woman who doesn't cry over a man.

"Sweet thing." Gojo calls for you softly interrupting your thoughts.

You look up at him. Although his eyes are covered with a blindfold, you can still read his facial expression. He had a soft look on him like if he was worried for you. You stare at his facial features and then he holds out the last piece of his (f/c) for you to eat. You stood there frozen for a sec. The rest of the cafe disappeared and right now it was just you and him. Then after a while you open your mouth and go to eat the cookie he has in his hand for you. You were careful to not put your lips on his fingers, but you accidentally did, and you didn't move back. You loved his taste and frankly he loved the feeling your pretty lips touching his fingers. You slowly pull away and chew on the cookie and then looked up at him.

He's looking down at you and then he rests the palm of his hand on your cheek. "Listen darling, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I'm here to listen and comfort you. Ok?" he says waiting for a response.

In a quiet voice you say "Ok" and he smiles softly at you. Without another word he turns around and leaves. You stood there for a bit watching him leave.

For the rest of your shift, you didn't stop thinking about him. Truth is you did need someone to talk to and you also just wanted to see and be with him. So when you got of work instead of going home you went to his place. You're not sure why but you get the feeling that soon after your gonna forget all about these thrash feelings right now.

Finally you arrive and you go up to his door. You ring the doorbell to his huge house and after a while he opens the door. "Oh sweet thing! What are you doing here?" he asks leaning towards you.

You respond shyly "You said I can talk to you when I need someone. Gojo I need someone." Gojo shocked allows you inside and he brings you to his living room. He was being so sweet the entire time. You've never seen this side of him and you've never had anyone be that kind to you. Not even your own boyfriend. Your boyfriend cheating came back to mind.

You stop walking and Gojo turns around and goes to you a bit worried. You sniff "I'm sorry it's just-" you get cut off by Gojo. Telling you that shouldn't apologize for feeling upset. Gojo goes closer to you and you feel safe. Such a pretty feeling, you've been around strong men before but not once have you ever felt this intense feeling of comfort and security.

You let go, "My boyfriend cheated on me. I don't know why he did it. I know I'm not all that pretty but the least he could've done is brake up with me. It would've stung yes but not as much as this." You continue to cry and the entire time Gojo hates it. That fucking bastard. He thought that guy was doing his job of fending for you.

"I'm such an unlovable piece of shit! I'm not worth being loved"

Those words made Gojo wrap his arms around you. He was avoiding touching you because he didn't want to invade any of your personal space, but after hearing those heartbreaking words he knew he had to hold you.

You continue to let out your emotions in his chest. The whole time Gojo did not let go and after a while you begin to calm down. "Baby listen to me." Baby? You wipe your tears again and look up at him. "Its the other way around, that bastard does not deserve to love you. You deserve only the best kind of love and trust me when i say you do have it." He pulls a strand of hair behind your ear. He smirks, "I know you're not supposed to hear this right now but I love you sweetheart. Always had and always will and hearing you talk like this hurts. Seeing you cry hurts sweet thing. You are loved. I love you sweetheart."

God how you needed to hear those words. I love you. And those words are coming from him. You slowly start to realize the whole time you should've been with him. You start to realize that it's not your fucking boyfriend cheating on you that made you cry. It was the lack of love. The lack of his love. It was him that made has always made you feel beautiful and loved and right now you wanted that even more.

Gojo notices how your look went from sadness to lust. Careful with his next move he decides to let you do whatever you want to him. You lean in closer to lips and with that he lets you kiss him. Thats all he needed and now he can pull you closer by you waist and deepen your kiss. He continues to kiss you and then pulls away.

The taste was amazing unlike anything you've ever tasted before. Gojo smirks, "I wasn't expecting you to get so bold sweet thing." You're so hot now. You want more of him.

"Gojo please~" you sigh.

"What? Does baby want me to help her feel good?" he teases.

Now you go to kiss him again to which he happily returns. Without breaking the kiss he picks you up effortlessly and you wrap your legs around his waist. He takes you upstairs to his bedroom and places you on his bed. He gets on top of you and smirks, "Let me help you forget him sweetheart."

He takes your clothes off and you take his off. There you two were, fully naked with him on top but he was still wearing his blindfold. You reach out to take it off of him and he let's you, revealing his beautiful blue eyes. "You look beautiful" you tell him. He smiles and kisses your lips "As do you sweetheart"

He kisses every part of your body making sure you understand just how much he loves every part of you. All this riled up energy both of you have for each other leads to him positioning himself at your entrance already. You look up him with those gorgeous eyes and he goes to kiss you on your lips, "I'm gonna take good care of you darling." and before you can say anything he starts sliding into you.

He's so big, "Ah~ Gojo" you whimper and the only thing Gojo hears is music to his ears. Fuck so far he's been loving your cute noises but that whimper of filling you up made him smirk. He kisses your neck "Fuck baby you're so tight~" he says in a husky voice. You wrap your arms around his neck and wrap your arms around his waist wanting to feel every bit of him.

Gojo holds onto your hips "You're so cute when you're like this." he dotes on you. You look up at him with little tears in his eyes, "Please move~". So demanding, he licks your tears away and smirks, "Your wish is my command." He starts thrusting into you causing a wave of euphoria to rush into both of you. You feel amazing, he feels like he's in heaven and he wants, needs, you to feel the same so he focuses and making you feel good.

"Fuck yes~" you moan out loud. He's pounding into you with such force its driving you wild. As he continues to thrust into you he's looking at your face. Seeing you feel so good made him feel good and your noises drive him wild. You look into his eyes and the whole world disappears. Right now it's just you two making love and it feels so heavenly.

"Kiss me~" you moan, he leans in and kisses you. The kiss was full of passion and lust.

He pulls away, continuing to thrust into you the room full of moans and your whimpering. "Is my princess feeling good~" he moans to you which you nod your head, "Yes baby~ you feel so fucking good~"

50 minutes later of him thrusting into you and you hanging on for dear life and your phone rings. Gojo didn't even see it but it was right beside your head. He looks at the caller ID and its that fucking bastard. He answers the call and puts it on loud speaker.

Baby can we please talk about this

At the sound of that Gojo starts thrusting in and out faster and rougher and you moan but he's quick to kiss you, so you don't give away your secret just yet.

I miss you (Y/N). That girl meant nothing to me, I promise if you come back things will be different.

Gojo is thrusting into you with rage. He'll be damned if he thinks you'll go back to him. You whimper his name making Gojo smirk, he's got you now and he's not gonna let you go.

"(Y/N) please give me another chance.

Both of you laughed at that and Gojo pulls out flips you onto your tummy thrusts back into you causing you to let out a load moan. He's pounding you faster and rougher and he's not being dicrete about it anymore.

"(Y/N)?" the guys calls for you with confusion in his voice.

Gojo smirks, "My baby isn't going back to him huh? Who do you belong to princess?" he asks between pants. Loud and and proud for him to hear. You respond "I belong to you Gojo.~" you say breathlessness and before the guy can say another word Gojo hangs up on him and now you're both at your reach.

"Gojo I'm *whimper* close~" you moan out. Gojo grabs your jaw and makes you look up at him. He kisses you, moaning in it, and then says "Me too baby. Together yeah? On three" you nod your head eagerly.

One.

You're already such a moaning mess and this causing you to moan even louder the whole world can hear.

Two.

Fuck Gojo is so close he starts pounding into you at an insane speed and with such force causing you cry out.

Three!

You both release and make it well known with your voices. He falls onto you panting and chuckles lightly, "That was amazing sweetheart." You reach up to play with his hair "You were amazing baby." He gives you a gentle kiss and says he'll be back. He leaves to the bathroom and comes back with a towel. He wipes you both down and then lays in bed with you holding you close.

"Gojo?" you call his name. He looks at you with his mesmerizing blue eyes, "I love you." he smiles "I love you too sweetheart"

You are that woman you want to be. A strong woman who forgets all about her cheating boyfriend and when she goes to find a better man to help her feel good.

#gojo saturo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #gojo saturo #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu gojo #jjk gojo satoru #jjk gojo smut #gojo smut

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trendywaifus · 1 year

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if it’s alright, could i request kafka with a reader who’s a medic for the stellaron hunters?

— medic for the stellaron hunters? i think you mean medic for her because she’s gate keeping you if she hasn’t already. like, you fr think you going to take care of the others when you’re hers? jk jk.

— kafka comes in for the smallest shit like if she somehow gotten a scratch on a mission, she wants you to “heal” her. she’ll fake moan in pain with that sly smile on her face while pointing at a little ass scratch on the expose skin of her shoulder. you’ll just sigh, “ kafka, don’t waste my time. you don’t need to be injured to come and see me, we are literally dating now. “ ofc she’ll claim that it wouldn’t be fun if she only had one reason to come.

— literally will flirt with you to the point where she sometimes asks for a “full check up” on one of the beds. knowing what she’s insinuating, you just push her out of the room much to her disappointment and amusement.

— surprisingly, kafka gets pretty jealous when you tend to others that’s not her. but it’s more like a puppy jealous, y’know? she knows that it’s your job to help out the hunters but damn, she wish those healing hands would be put into. .better use.

— if she walks into you treating blade (we all know bro’s getting injuried more often than not.) her demeanor changes ever so slightly, she’ll continue to smile like usual but will just flirt her ass off right in front of him. yeah, she thinks she’s a comedian. blade rolls his eyes and grunts whenever kafka says some real purposely cringey shit to you. hell, he knows she’s fucking with him when she’s glancing over at him time to time, smirking.

— in serious moments when kafka is actually injured, it’s filled with solemn silence. you’re quietly tending to her wounds and she’s just sitting there, her eyes watching your every move. of course, she’s smiling however it’s only the slight curve of the corner of her red lips that’s barely noticeable. “ what a beautiful mess you are. “ her smile grows larger at your comment, “ a beautiful mess? that’s one way to describe me sweetheart. i’m flattered. “

— if you’re on the mission with the crew, she’s watching over you. whether it’ll be glancing over her shoulder, making sure your close by or whatever maybe; one of her main priorities if not the most important one is you. i mean you are the one and only medic after all, and her dear lover.

supposedly, allegedly, kafka was having some foot pain after a mission and she came in complaining about how sore her feet was. you rolled your eyes, immediately knowing the problem, she literally does her duties in heels! you tell her to sit down and take off the heels so you can take a look and massage them, her reaction was honestly adorable coming from her.

“ make sure to get between the toes as well, sweets.“ she says smugly, enjoying the view of you concentrating on massaging her “ sore “ foot. you threw a quick glare her way before reverting your attention back to the massage. “ be quiet woman, I’m not suppose to be fucking doing this so you’re lucky. “

“ oh? maybe i am lucky or “ she drags out the syllable in her usual raspy tone, “ . . .you just wanted to touch my feet? “

“ do i look like i got a damn foot fetish, kafka? you’re the one who—g-get out of my office! “

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai x reader #hsr x reader #kafka x reader #hsr kafka

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sinning5sos · 7 days

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valentine | Luke

Requested: yeah baby! could you write a smut abt dom!luke and fem!reader, where they’ve been best friends for years and have had just the thickest romantic and sexual tension, and luke brings y/n on tour and while she’s front row dancing and just like feeling herself to valentine, luke finds it like super hot and after the show he finally does something about the tension between the two of them. i love your work and i think you’d be the perfect person to write this!”

tysm, i love you

fucking sick idea

Word Count: ~2.2k

The music was pulsing through the arena, your eyes never leaving the lead singer, your best friend and you were so proud of him. You couldn’t believe that they were on another tour, and thankfully your schedule at work allowed you to travel with them for a few shows in the states.

You loved getting to see Luke do what he does, the fact that you’ve known him since you were kids and have gotten to see him grow into the confident man that he is, it made you ecstatic.

You’ve been a part of Luke’s life for a long time, you loved him dearly. The two of you became mates way back when you were just in your first year of school. The two of you had been stuck together since then, often spending time with the other. It was insane when Luke had started getting views on his covers, and even crazier when the band formed and started getting famous.

When the band moved to the states, you couldn’t imagine not having him only five minutes away but Luke practically begged you to follow along. Luckily, you found a job nearby and your schedule was flexible for the most part.

Honestly you didn’t even know how many times you had seen them perform at this point, but you knew that it just continued to get better every single time.

His eyes found yours as they continued performing Valentine, one of your favorites from them. Luke’s vocals always killed, and tonight he was on fire again. You sang along, a small smile on his lips as he maintained eye contact.

“Got nothing but love for you, fall more in love every day. Valentine, valentine.”

You zoned out as you continued dancing along, your hips moving gently to the beat as the song continued on. You felt a gaze on you, and looked up as Luke sang, it felt as if directly to you, his eyes burning into yours.

“It don't matter just as long as I get all you tonight”

You blushed as the song continued, and he sent you a cheeky wink as the crowd continued chanting along. Luke’s gaze moved away from you, and you lost yourself in thought.

It could've been unintentional. It could’ve just been Luke being himself, a little flirt. It could’ve been something more. You were never sure with Luke, you never wanted to push the friendship past what it is.

The others always pointed out that the two of you flirted with each other, your other friend pointed out that it was annoyingly adorable how much the two of you looked at each other or how handsy the two of you were. Sure, there were drunken kisses or cuddling during movies or the occasional shared bed. You always knew you loved Luke, you just didn’t know what sort of love.

The concert wrapped up quickly, your thoughts swimming due to that tiny wink from him earlier. You were already backstage, in his dressing room and sat on the couch waiting for him to finish up. He always had his post show ritual, where as soon as he was off that stage, he was taking a shower and finding a way for his body to relax.

After a few minutes, the door finally opened and Luke pushed through the entryway. He immediately smiled as he dove onto the couch beside you. You curled right into his side, his arm wrapping around you instinctively. His fingers grazing the exposed skin on your shoulder. You sighed, feeling content as you leaned even further into him.

“How was the show?”

“Amazing as always Lu,” You said, turning in his arms so your head was now laying in his lap. He shifted his arm so it was across your chest and he held your gaze.

“It’s one thing to know that you’re always there in the audience but it was another to see you that close tonight. Dancing along to the music, you looked beautiful.” He murmured, and you felt your cheeks blush.

“I’m serious, I don’t say it enough.” He whispered and your blush deepened, “I don’t say a lot of things enough. God, you looked fucking incredible tonight.”

“Luke,” You sat up and turned to face him, about to say something but he pulled you close to him. He moved closer to you, his movements hesitant as his nose nudged against yours. You didn’t stop him.

“I need you,” He murmured against your skin, his lips barely leaving as he trailed down your neck and you whimpered into the empty dressing room, “Now.”

You nodded, your arms wrapping around him as you pulled him closer into you.

“I’m in, but I need to know that this won’t change us.”

“It’s going to change us, but for the better. Seeing you in the front, seeing you dance along to our music, it made me realize what I’ve always known all along. Why I begged you to move with us, why I need you with me on the tour.”

“I just need you,” He whispered, his lips finally meeting yours and he nearly melted into you. You tangled your fingers in his hair, holding him as close to you as possible and all thoughts were gone as the two of you continued kissing. This wasn’t the same type of kiss as before, there was something deeper there.

“Say yes,” He murmured, his nose nudging yours and you nodded, “Out loud. I can’t move on with myself if you’re not as into this as I am.”

“God, yes Luke, of course.” You whispered to him, and his lips met yours again. His kiss became more desperate, and his hands moved to the straps on your shirt and pushed them down. You leaned your body into him, quickly removing the top and suddenly feeling exposed beneath him.

“Fuck,” He breathed out, and you laughed at him as your fingers continued twirling in his hair.

“You’ve seen me in a swimsuit before Lu,”

“Yeah but this is different. I get to finally act on every thought I’ve ever had,” He muttered, pulling his own shirt off as well. You unclasped your bra and pulled him back into you, your hands rubbing his shoulders and across his back as he trailed kisses down your chest. His teeth grazed over your nipple and you gasped quietly. This all felt so surreal, but damn it did he feel great.

He pushed your skirt up with his free hand, grazing your center slightly and your hips jolted into his touch.

“So eager for you,” You whispered and he chuckled as he pulled your panties down and tossed them behind the couch.

“Can I touch you?”

“Lu, I am entirely yours. Stop asking me, and just touch me.”

“Yes ma’am,” He murmured and you giggled as he kissed the inside of your knee and slowly trailed upward to your inner thigh, then to your exposed pussy. He kissed just above your core, his touch so light and you were craving more.

“Luke, just fuck me please.” You whimpered, and he paused to look at you. He licked his lips and nodded, before pushing himself down on the couch to adjust to a more comfortable position.

“I will, just need to taste you first.” He muttered, and you were worried that he was going to be hesitant again but quickly started eating you out as if you were his last meal. He groaned as he pulled back for a second, before his tongue circled around your clit and your thighs twitched at how fucking good he felt.

His tongue dipped inside of you, his nose nudging your clit as he continued eating you out. He pushed a finger inside of you and you threw your head back against the arm rest at finally feeling him. He pushed in another, and you felt yourself adjust to his touch as his tongue continued.

“Fuck,” You breathed out and he winked at you again as he continued to eat you out and finger fuck you. Only an hour ago he was winking at you as well, and now look at how much things have changed.

“Gonna cum soon,” You moaned, and he added a third finger. At this point, you didn’t need to be warmed up anymore, and your orgasm was quickly approaching. Between everything that’s happened, you felt your thighs began to shake and you quickly came all over his face.

You whimpered as he continued licking, nearly slurping and relaxed when he finally backed up. He sat up and made a big show of wiping his arm across his face and chuckled.

“Taste fucking sweet there darling,” He muttered and you giggled as you leaned up to kiss him, “But now I want to fuck you.”

“I want you bent over this counter so you can see how fucking hot you look while I’m fucking you,” He muttered, and your eyes widened at the sudden change. You licked your lips and nodded, taking his hand as he helped you up off the couch and pulled you towards the counter.

“Just like that,” He whispered as he guided you, and helped bend you over the counter and pushed your dress up as his fingers pushed into you again. You moaned loudly, your body adjusting quickly to him. He felt so right, and you moaned again as he curled his fingers inside of you.

“Need your cock Lu,” You grunted, and he chuckled as he pulled his hand out of you and sucked on his fingers again.

“Taste so fucking good.” He said, before pulling his cock out from his pants but he panicked for a second, your eyes on him in the mirror, “Condom?”

“I’ve had my birth control shot, and I’m clean.” You whispered, and his eyes widened as he caught your gaze. You nodded, as if to encourage him and he groaned as his palms rubbed over your hips.

“Fucking dream. I’m clean too, but I’ll do my best to pull out too.” He muttered, and you smiled as he stroked himself gently. He pushed in the tip, and you pushed yourself back to take more of him. He moaned quietly, his head falling back in pleasure as he was nearly fully inside of you, “You feel so good,”

“Just fuck me,” You whimpered, and he slowly pulled back out before he pushed inside of you fully. You could feel all of him inside you know, your body adjusting to him quickly and you desperately needed some friction.

His hands moved so they were gripping both sides of your hips, and you hoped that his fingers left marks for you to admire later. He started fucking you with more of an intensity now, his cock slamming into you with every thrust and the fact that you got to watch everything in the mirror was so fucking hot.

“Look at me,” He snapped, his fingers digging into your sides as you caught his gaze in the mirror, “Such a good fucking girl.”

For a moment, the only sounds that echoed in the dressing room were his hips meeting yours and his quiet moans from behind you. You held onto the counter as you felt your legs growing weak and put your weight onto the top. Luke continued fucking you, and you felt your orgasm approach quickly.

“Gonna cum for me?” He murmured, his hand reaching around to your clit and his middle and ring finger started to rub it in circles.

You nodded, words failing you as you pushed your back against his chest, your gazes locked on each other as he continued to finger your clit and thrust into you. Your orgasm crashed over you, and he moaned as he continued fucking you through the wave of pleasure.

You nearly collapsed into his arms, and he helped you move slightly. You knelt in front of him, your hand replacing his as you started to stroke.

“Now are you going to cum for me?” You whispered, winking up at him and he chuckled as he nodded. Luke gripped onto the counter behind you as you continued stroking him, and his cock twitched slightly before he came, doing his best to aim for your mouth but spilling down the front of your chest.

His eyes closed for a moment, his relief washing over his face as his legs buckled and you smiled up at him. You brought your fingers down to your chest and dragged some of his cum up into your mouth and he rolled his eyes as he handed you a tissue and helped clean you up.

“Come on baby, come sit on the couch with me.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead then helped you up to your feet and guided you over to the couch.

“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” You whispered, your arm lazily coming to wrap around him and he chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“The wait was worth it,”

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drdemonprince · 4 months

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Recently, I've observed a pattern in my friendships where I connect with people who tend to be people pleasers or are less confident in expressing their thoughts. Given my neurodivergence and direct communication style, I've received feedback about sounding righteous, making them feel unsafe to share. How can I navigate these situations more effectively or seek out individuals with stronger personalities who appreciate straightforwardness?

P.s. it makes me feel so bad every time this happens, it’s not my intent to hurt people and I feel very rejected.

I have a bit of experience with this dynamic myself. Those of us who are read as negative or difficult to please can unwittingly be appealing to people pleasers, because it reminds them of people who have genuinely mistreated them and fraught family or relational dynamics of their past that have dug a real deep groove into their brain. Unfortunately the very qualities that feel familiar to them also burn them, because they want to win us over and soften us, but we're already just being ourselves and not abusive and don't need to soften. I've honestly been on both sides of this dynamic -- the person who keeps accidentally hurting someone's feelings and the one getting hurt with glib comments, incompatible communication styles, or whatever else.

That's just one of many dynamics at play of course. We're both traumatized, othered groups of people who may gravitate to one another because we share so many struggles in common -- but our triggers and sensitive points can be incompatible. When someone expects me to read their mind and pre-empt their needs, for example, it freaks me the fuck out because I've put a lot of work into no longer being that kind of person. At the same time, it's okay and normal for a friend to want you to understand the basics of what makes them comfortable and uncomfortable and to consider their feelings and needs.

Sometimes it's just a conflict one needs to talk through. I have plenty of cherished friends who are sensitive or people-pleasing in nature, and we can make it work because they don't view me in a negative light -- they fundamentally see me as someone they care about and like, and so even if they suddenly feel like I'm making fun of them or have left them out, they are able to check that instinct against the reality they know of me and we can talk about it or they can work on the feeling on their own as the case warrants. If I do say something hurtful or miss the mark, a lot of my closest friends are the types who can tell me, and then it's my job to not freak the fuck out on them or to feel controlled or penned in by them sharing that intimacy with me... sometimes I'm still not the best at it. but lord have i gotten better.

I think one has to just keep endeavoring to be oneself and to communicate early and often. I don't think the solution is ever to censor oneself or to feel that your true self deep down is too cruel or wrong for people to love. I used to really feel that way and still struggle with that sometimes, especially when I hurt people. It can be easy to feel, if you're a kind of negative/blunt seeming person like me, to feel that any time a person shares with you that they are hurt, that they are trying to censor or control you. Sometimes that very much happens. But it isn't always the case. Sometimes a person just wants reassurance that you like them, that you didn't mean the remark in that way, or even just acknowledgement of their pain and that they aren't crazy for feeling how they feel. Not everyone who gets hurt is a crybully or manipulating. Just as not everyone who accidentally hurts people is abusive or cruel.

I used to really gravitate only toward other negative prickly people. I still like that "type" a lot. But there is no type that is wholly trustworthy or safe. I got burned plenty of times by trying to win over the friendship of someone who I thought surely would "Get" me, because they were also blunt and to the point, and I assumed that made them "real," but in actuality they were manipulating people and steamrolling people and trying to make people feel bad. Some people can only be "real" about candid negative opinions. They can't be really contrite. Or curious. or humble. or even tell you directly when they are hurt. They might only be passive aggressive and barbed instead (i have also been that person).

As always I think it's most important to look to a person's actions and the impact they have on others, as well as their own capacity to both self-advocate and to admit fault. Can this person reflect? Can this person say they were wrong or that their opinion changed? Can they own that they might see things in a biased way? That they have their own triggers? That they need things? Do they help people the way those people want to be helped? Do they behave in accordance with a consistence values system you can admire? Do you like how they think things through? Can they understand their own emotions to at least a responsible extent? Etc etc etc. Some people who tick off all the right boxes on these questions will be someone who is pretty sensitive and people-pleasy but working on it. And some of them will be people who are patholdogical demand avoidant naysayers with a chip off their shoulder but who can also be vulnerable. And most of us are all of those things I think.

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rainbowrelyea · 6 months

Text

Supercorptober Days 29 & 30: "Stars/Magic"

Kara is seeing stars, and not the good kind. As she struggles unsuccessfully to pick herself up out of the rubble from the wall she was just blasted through again, she takes stock of her condition. Her head is spinning, there’s a sharp pain shooting down her left side, and she’s pretty sure she tastes blood. She’s having trouble focusing, but even if her blurry vision makes it hard to see the telltale green coloring her veins, the agonizing burn of the kryptonite currently coursing through her body is an all too familiar sensation.

Where did they even get kryptonite? Kara still can’t figure it out. With the resources of the new DEO behind them, the team had been able to thoroughly scour all of Lex’s old hideouts for any remnants, and Brainy had run signature traces for any they may have missed. And as far as she knew, Lena was the only person left alive who knew how to make synthetic kryptonite - unless someone else had finally figured it out.

Lena. Where was Lena? Kara squinted her eyes through the spots dancing in front of her and tried to find the brunette. She never would have let Lena come if she knew there was going to be kryptonite. How is Kara supposed to protect her if she’s incapacitated? (Much like she is now, unfortunately). Not that Lena necessarily needs Kara’s protection as much as she used to, not now that she has gotten so much more comfortable with her magic, and can definitely hold her own in a fight. But still, it’s Lena.

Kara is just barely able to make out the distant movements of J’onn’s blurry green, black and red form. Nia’s bright blue dream energy streaks across her view, then a flash of yellowish orange in her peripheral she knows is from Alex’s favorite blaster (her favorite one this month, anyways). Suddenly two concerned jade eyes swim into her vision.

“Supergirl, are you okay?” Lena’s voice is a balm to her ringing ears, the comforting familiarity of it soothing her ever so slightly. Kara maintains eye contact as best she can and manages a small nod, even as her features involuntary contort into a grimace. There’s a hand pressed firmly to her chest, followed by a faint whirring sound as Lena activates Kara’s anti-kryptonite suit. “God I need to upgrade your suit, this really should be a standard feature,” she hears Lena mutter with a hint of exasperation in her voice. Then a gentle command - “Just stay put while the suit does its job. We’ve got you covered.”

Lena quickly turns around and casts a protection spell to shield her from any further kryptonite blasts. Kara marvels at the wall of shimmering golden energy that materializes in front of her. Rao, this woman is amazing. As she feels the suit beginning to combat the effects of the green poison still weakening her body, she thinks about the many times that Lena has protected her or saved her life. Even though Kara is supposed to be the one doing the protecting. Has Kara saved Lena as many times? Honestly, she’s lost count of both tallies at this point. What she does know, with no uncertainty, is how lucky she is that her harrowing journey through the stars all those years ago somehow led her to this life, to this incredible woman now fighting by her side.

After what feels like forever, the superhero is finally able to stumble to her feet as the pain of the kryptonite subsides and her strength and other abilities slowly start to return. Just as she’s trying to get a read on the situation so she can rejoin the battle, she watches Lena’s protective wall of magic dissipate into the air. She realizes that while she was still down, the team had managed to subdue the criminals, and now J’onn and Alex are working on securing the hostile weapons while Nia dashes off to do a perimeter sweep. Still a little weak, Kara wobbles shakily when she starts to walk, and then Lena is by her side in an instant, arm wrapped around her waist to steady her.

“Hey you,” she says with a tender smile. “You had me worried for a minute there.”

Kara smiles back, even though Lena can’t see her face through the dark visor of her helmet. “I’m going to be just fine, thanks to you :zhao.”

“Khap :zhao rrip vahdhah.” Lena leans in and plants a light kiss on the front of Kara’s helmet, as the swirling blues and purples of a portal appear next to them. “Come on darling, let’s go home.”

———

Kryptonian Translations:

:zhao = love (used as a term of endearment) Khap :zhao rrip vahdhah = I love you too

#supercorp #supercorptober #supercorptober2023 #supercorp fanfic #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl #kryptonite #lena uses her magic #even superheroes need help sometimes #jonn jonzz #alex danvers #nia nal

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kiwicopia · 8 months

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Bazz-B smut please 🙏🏾

I hope headcanons are enough. :)

🔞 MDNI 🔞

Reminder: requests are not open. The few I've gotten will be done after the Kinktober stuff.

Bazz-B doesn't care whether or not other Sternritters, or even lowly recruits, know about his sexual exploits with his partner. In fact, he's the type to put on a little show if he catches one of them staring a bit too long at his partner, or if they are looked at a certain way. He's all about showing others what they can't have. It both stems from a bit of jealousy and his need to make sure they know that his partner is not up for grabs.

He's the type to purposely and shamelessly touch and do things with his partner right in front of them. Bazz-B will always initiate touches during briefings. Some are hidden from view and others, well, not so much. He's absolutely shameless as he's got his partner on their knees under the table, sucking him off while Jugram talks about the latest thing that Bazz honestly doesn't really care about. Even his noises are shameless, sometimes. He lets them know how good of a job they're doing with soft touches to their face. Whether it be cupping a cheek or petting their hair.

Bazz-B is a dominant man through and through. Typically a hard dom most of the time, but sometimes a certain mood will hit and he just wants to be soft with his partner. With him being so dominant, it's a given that he'd be possessive with his partner. To the point where he'd want to mark them. They're his. No one else's. He'll make sure everyone knows this.

He's not as elegant as Jugram, but Bazz loves being messy with his partner. He can't help how good they look lying in his bed, having an expression of being fucked so good on their face, with his cum painting every little inch of their body. He thinks it's a work of art.

Bazz absolutely craves hearing his partner beg for him. They don't even have to be sweet about it. Just let him hear how badly they need his cock, or how badly they want him to bend them over and fuck them into oblivion, and this man will not hesitate. His goal is to always make them cry for it. He wants them to need him so badly that they can't go a minute without feeling him inside of them.

Going back to him putting on a show for others, this man will not hesitate to fuck his partner after briefings. Literally right after. There will be a few stragglers present after each briefing, and Bazz doesn't want to wait until getting to his room to have his dick shoved inside his partner, so he's making them ride him immediately after most of the Sternritters leave. The ones that stay get a free show, and Bazz will make sure to keep eye contact with them the entire time. He just likes for them to know who his partner belongs to.

Bazz-B is a dirty talker. Not only has he called his partner every little nasty name in the book, he's also teased them for either how well they've taken his cock, or how they sometimes can't fully take him. He's so vocal, too, always telling them every little detail of how he's going to fuck them into oblivion while he's doing it. Sometimes also grunting and groaning in their ear the deeper his dick reaches inside of them. He doesn't care who hears it, either.

If you thought Jugram liked bending his partner like a pretzel, Bazz loves it. Sure, he's got a few positions he normally does with his partner, but he's not passing up an opportunity to try something new with them. He likes to see how flexible they can be. How far they can go for him, for his cock. He knows they'll be sore later, but he doesn't care right now. He just wants to see if this position works well with them or not, and if it's pleasurable or not.

#bleach #bleach headcanons #bleach bazz b #bazz b #bazz b headcanons #bazz b smut #bazz b x reader #bazz b x you #bazz b x y/n #bleach x you #bleach x reader #bleach x y/n #mdni #kiwicopia writes

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stuckinapril · 3 months

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I know studying and learning is your thing but I can't help but feel unmotivated with university. I know I'm extremely privileged to be able to attend it but I always feel like my classes aren't that fulfilling (overall I think nothing would ever be that fulfilling to me) very much wish I were studying something more practical:'( I know there are way in which I can try and improve my life but I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied (I also think the odds of getting those things™ like a good job once I graduate are very unlikely but I'll still try)

And like university makes me feel so bad to the point where I'm almost depressive and want to stay at home, do very little etc

It’s my thing bc I love what I’m studying—and love the act of studying in and of itself! I’ve truly been this way since I was a child, and it really helps that I’ve felt called to science and medicine from a very young age. I also view studying as a fun skill/game/challenge, as opposed to demonizing it into something I have to do but don’t enjoy (a symptom of the US education system for sure, so I don’t blame anyone for feeling this way, but I’ve managed to break past it). Passion has never been the issue for me.

If I ever slacked w school, it honestly always originated from a place of being distracted by other things—phone, people, circumstances… it was never a matter of dragging my feet about learning, unless it was something I didn’t understand right away lmao (I literally hate not understanding something off the bat). Doing hard things attracts me at this point of my life, but it hasn’t always been this way, and isn’t always this way. Everyone has down days.

To not be passionate about what you’re studying is a completely different matter, and something you should absolutely dig deeper into without feeling guilty for doing it. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy or unmotivated. And please don’t let the fallacy of sunk costs stop you. It doesn’t matter how far into your degree you’ve gotten; no time is better than the present when it comes to changing paths. You don’t want to be shackled to something you don’t like doing for the rest of your life. Also consider other factors that might be preventing you from studying efficiently, like phone addiction or other intrinsic problems, and try to address those in turn. Maybe it’s a combination of making lifestyle changes and a degree change, maybe it’s just changing degrees, or maybe you’re better off looking at other avenues. Whatever works best for you.

Overall we’re all very different people, and just bc one path is working for someone doesn’t mean it’ll work equally well for somebody else. I love school, but I can still recognize it’s not the perfect fit for everybody—and it’s very much far from being the only fit. There are so many ways to go about your life these days. No way is inherently better than the other. I hope you figure it out & do what you love friend

#ask

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antianakin · 3 months

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@theneutralmime

I mean, if you're just going for a crack scenario then you can do whatever you want lol, that's kind-of the point of crack in a lot of ways. So for humor reasons, sure, Anakin could call Obi-Wan and have that distract him enough that he ends up not siding with Palpatine if you wanted. If you want to take the crack scenario slightly more realistically, Obi-Wan is currently involved in a battle with Grievous on Utapau at the same time that Anakin is making that choice, so the chances he picks up are pretty minimal at best, and even if he DID get through, the chances that Anakin LISTENS to Obi-Wan are equally minimal, especially if he can just hang up if he doesn't like the answer he gets. But the distraction of calling at all, even if he doesn't get through, MIGHT be enough for Mace to finish off the job of killing Palpatine anyway.

If you want a more serious opinion on what would have happened if Obi-Wan had been in the office with Mace and Anakin when he made that decision and if I think Anakin would've legitimately listened to Obi-Wan if he tried to talk him out of it, I will point out that Anakin ROUTINELY shows that Obi-Wan's disapproval means very little to him when he's desperate, passionate, and upset about something. If we look solely at the films, you can look at the scene in the gunship when Padme falls and it's not until Obi-Wan tells Anakin to think of what PADME would do that Anakin chooses to stay, not when Obi-Wan points out he won't survive the fight against Dooku alone or when threatened with expulsion from the Order. And even after that, like 2 minutes later, Anakin rushes into the fight with Dooku despite Obi-Wan explicitly yelling at him not to.

Within ROTS, the best example I have is the Council sequence where Anakin throws a temper tantrum about not being made a master, and Obi-Wan's clear nonverbal disapproval of his actions don't seem to have any impact on Anakin's childish behavior. In their conversation immediately afterwards, Obi-Wan tries to very patiently explain the situation to Anakin and get him to view things logically and Anakin refuses and continues to blame the Council for being unfair and unreasonable. Even when he apologizes to Obi-Wan later, he is really only apologizing for being a little bratty TO OBI-WAN and still firmly believes he's in the right about the Council acting unfair to him about, you know, everything. So nothing Obi-Wan has said to him has actually truly gotten through and Anakin has learned next to nothing except like... maybe to act less bratty when called out by the Council? I don't know.

If I branch out a little, the only example I can really come up with where Obi-Wan's disapproval seems to really mean something to him is when he thinks Obi-Wan's DEAD and he makes the claim that he won't kill "Rako Hardeen" specifically because Obi-Wan wouldn't have wanted him to.

But that is ONE MOMENT among many others, even in TCW, where Anakin makes it pretty clear that Obi-Wan's disapproval is not going to stop him from doing whatever he wants, especially if he's upset or desperate to save someone he cares about.

So, personally, while I think you could argue that the same thing as was true in the crack scenario would be true here, that having Obi-Wan there to try to hold Anakin back might provide just long enough of a distraction for Mace to finish the job, I don't honestly think it would have any real impact on Anakin's choice. Anakin would side with Palpatine to save Padme's life, regardless of whether Obi-Wan was standing there or not. Anakin is presumably told about Order 66 before he marches on the Temple, which means he KNOWS Obi-Wan is about to be killed, and he weighs Obi-Wan's life against Padme's in that moment, and decides it's a worthwhile exchange. I can't see that changing just because Obi-Wan is standing in front of him instead of on Utapau. He just does not care about Obi-Wan enough for it to make a real difference.

#star wars #obi-wan kenobi #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical

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arkiwii · 2 months

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Forgot to list numbers, 8, 9, 22!

(as your previous ask stated, it will be focused on Saria)

and oh my god. Saria is one of the characters who suffers the most in fanon I think. let's dig this out

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I don't know if it really counts as a fandom opinion BUT "uwaahh daddy saria so hot omg dominate me 😳" is some fanon view of Saria that is extremely wrong and out of character and if Saria existed and saw this shit she'd get uncomfortable. I don't judge people who are attracted by Saria (I mean, who isn't?), don't get me wrong, she IS hot. but the whole idea that she's a dominant, violent woman, had gotten to the point that people who don't look further in her character see her this way. it's mostly because she's a strong woman, has literally a jailkeeper skin, and hardly shows emotions that this fanon idea started. but she is not violent at all!! she doesn't like to be dominating!! and if you call her daddy again I'll swarm your house with ten thousand rats

9. Worst part of canon

that her and Silence didn't made out very passionately in Lone Trail- ok more seriously it's hard to think about something that was bad about her in canon. the only thing that got me to raise an eyebrow, in all honestly, was Mansfield Break. WHY was she here. I don't really understand this whole deal, no matter how hard I think about it. she was just here. she was just vibing. was it a job she temporarily got before joining Rhodes? did she knew about Jesselton? did she had the exact same plan as Silence to rescue Anthony?? and like it's never mentioned again?? that was so weird I mean thank you for jailkeeper Saria but what the fuck. you go girl? (if anyone actually knows what the fuck she was there please explain I can't wrap my head around it)

22. Your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores.

I hang out with people who are as mentally ill about Saria that I am so that'd be hard to mention something that everyone else ignores, but mmh. wow it's seriously hard I've been sitting in front of my computer for 15 minutes now. maybe... the fact she's extremely attentionate to everyone? but especially those who are close to her. this one official artwork where you see in the background Silence who fell asleep, and Saria is checking on her. the fact she has orange nail polish like Ifrit, so she probably taught Ifrit how to use nail polish. that mention in Dorothy's Vision that when Muelsysye offered her a plant, she woke up everyday at 7 am to check on it. she's really sweet and even if it's hard to tell, she has a heart of gold

#normal about her #arknights #askiwi

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headinthestaticsky · 11 months

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The Dusk Calls For Me: Chapter 0: Home

December 2002, Phoenix, AZ

I was sick of this abrasive heat, amongst other things. I was tired of living in a place that never truly felt like home. To feel absolutely sick to my stomach whenever my house came into view. And, I couldn't bear the thought of hearing my mother moan and complain about another thing I did. It was all so... smothering, almost too much to stand anymore.

It had honestly gotten to the point where I couldn't even-

"Fleur!"

Stand to hear my name anymore.

The second I heard my mother's voice, a deep pit formed in my stomach. The heft of which left me nearly frozen in my tracks, willing me with everything it could to keep me still.

"Fleur, I know you heard me! Get down here now." My mom's voice called out again, sounding stronger than before.

Begrudgingly, I got up from my bed, trudging out of my room and down the long set of carpet-covered steps. Once I reached the living room, I was met with my mother's usual, cold stare.

What the hell had I done now?

"What's going on?" I questioned surprisingly cool, though on the inside my heart was beating rapidly through my chest.

My mother chose not to say anything at first, instead opting to reach behind her, grabbing at an unfamiliar-looking bag. "You know." She simply replied, her tone quiet but deadly.

"Not rea-" My sentence stopped in its tracks as my mother poured out the contents of the bag. Money fell out of it unceremoniously onto the table and floor.

How could she have found it?

"You wanna tell me how you got all this money?" Mom asked, eyeing me with great suspicion.

"You went through my room?" I replied, my voice trembling as I spoke.

"Don't deflect things... where did you get all of this?" She asked again, tension seeping through her voice.

"Just... side jobs. Cutting grass, walking dogs, waitressing." I finally answered, my eyes still locked onto the few bills that had slipped onto the floor.

Mom took in a deep breath, clearly (but poorly) trying to retain some level of calm within herself. "Now, you better be... truthful in your next answer. Because I've already been told what's going on." Mom explained, I could imagine the strained look on her face as she spoke. "Why are you saving all of this?"

I finally found the nerve to look up from the floor, my gaze met my mother's cold stare. "I just... want to see my father." I meekly answered, preparing myself for the inevitable, rage-filled blow that was bound to come my way.

Mom scoffed quietly, the grimace that she had turned into a forced smile. "You're not going to." She spoke definitely, chuckling lightly under her breath.

"Yes, I am... it is my money, I can do whatever I want with it."

Mom sucked in another breath, though this time around the calm she had made was crumbling before her. "You... always, have to be a troublemaker, don't you?" She gritted out.

"Wanting to see my father doesn't mean I'm a troublemaker, Mother," I replied sardonically. "And I doubt, seriously doubt that if Bella were the one doing this, you'd be this angry about it."

Mom couldn't even think of a reply. She just glared at me, her eyes full of pent-up anger.

"Ain't got much to say now do you?" I asked her, finding a bit of satisfaction in her silence.

"You know what? If you think things in Forks are... so much better than they are here." Mom began, stalking me slowly. "Then I will give you the rest of the money for that damn plane ticket. But you ain't getting one back down here."

I should've been heartbroken at her words, distraught that she was so willing to just... leave me in a sense. But the only emotion that had consumed me was joy, pure joy.

Finally, I'd be able to see my father again.

"Fine," I spoke up.

"Fine." Mom repeated. "Just... go." She added, turning away from me instantaneously.

I listened to her without hesitation, collecting the money Mom had dropped. As I turned the corner to go up the steps my sister, Bella, caught my eye. Of course, she was listening in on us, Bella would never miss an opportunity to hear me get chewed out.

I stared at her briefly before shaking my head at the ludicrousy of her behavior. "You got what you wanted sis," I spoke up plainly.

"I'm finally out of here."

January 2003, Forks, WA

The airport was bustling with people, making it hard to find where my father could possibly be. No matter where looked or turned, I was met with the faces of strangers... damn tall strangers.

I guess being 5'9 ain't as tall as I thought...

I moved as quickly as I could through the crowd, partially due to the fact that a lot of them were pretty disgruntled. The last thing I wanted to do was get in the crossfire of some of their foul moods.

"Fleur?" A voice called out, not too far from me. As if the crowd of moody people began to clear like clouds. My dad finally came into view, looking at me with a bittersweet smile. I was quick to make my way over to him, completely overjoyed at the sight of my father.

"Hi, Dad." I greeted him, taking in a stuttering breath as I hugged him. "I missed you... so much."

I could feel my dad's body shake slightly, a slight sniffle following soon afterward. "I missed you too petal." He admitted gruffly, quickly wiping his face one we had pulled away from on another. "Let's get outta here." He added, swiftly taking one of the bags I had brought with me.

I of course, eagerly followed him out.

Though I had to admit, the strong, cold wind did make me falter slightly. Being in Arizona for so long definitely... lessened the resistance I had to Fork's usual bone-chilling weather. And well, I guess it didn't help that mom had refused to at least buy me some clothes that weren't tank tops and shorts. But, thankfully, my dad was wise enough to leave the heat on in the car, so I was able to dethaw pretty quickly.

"So, how have you been?" Dad asked, breaking the brief silence the car had been filled with.

"A lot better than I've been in a while," I replied, smiling fondly at all of the familiar sites I had grown up with.

It was as if this place had been preserved in a time capsule, waiting for me to return back to it again. The old ice cream shop, the reservation, and the beach where I spent all my time at. The sight of it all hit me with waves of nostalgia.

"And... your mom?" Dad said, clearly reluctantly by the sound of his voice.

"Well, you know how she is..." I muttered, turning toward him. "She's pretty much still acting the same," I added a bit more bitterly than I would've liked.

Dad seem to notice the disdain I spoke with too, his eyes carefully flickering over at me curiously. "There's something else you're not telling me, huh?" He questioned.

"Is it that obvious?" I spoke with a forced chuckle.

"You read like a book, Fleur."

"You got me there." I sighed. "Well, all I'll say is that Bella's kinda starting to pick up on our mother's lovely... traits."

Dad shook his head, clearly disappointed at the news I had announced. "That's a shame." He grumbled.

"Yeah, it is."

Another bout of silence came through after that. The only thing that could be faintly heard was the sound of the other cars rushing by us.

"You know," Dad began, out of the corner of my eye, I could see him begin to smirk. "I heard you just got your license."

"Yeah, I did..." I replied, curious as to what my father was hinting at.

"Well, I thought, as a little homecoming present to you. I got you a car-"

"What?" I questioned him incredulously, sitting up from my seat. "Are you serious?"

"Now, don't get too excited," Dad said quickly, as to try and curb my enthusiasm. "It's a pretty old car."

I scoffed at him before letting out a chuckle. "Dad, a car is a car. You did not have to do that. What kind is it?"

"It's an old Mustang, a Fastback." He answered. "It's in the shop right now getting some last-minute repairs in. So, for now, I'll have to drive you to school."

"That is perfectly fine," I replied, leaning back into my seat again. "I have absolutely nothing to complain about."

"Glad to hear it, Petal..."

As we pulled into the driveway of our small but beautiful home. The nostalgia fully set in. The colors were exactly the same, and the grass, of course, was just as muddy and dead as before.

"Just as you remember it?" Dad asked as we walked into my childhood home.

I nodded in reply, finding it hard to say much.

"I cleared off a couple of shelves in the bathroom for ya. And, your room was pretty dusty so I cleaned it up for you." Dad explained as he placed my bags onto my bed.

"Thank you... it looks great." I muttered as I looked at my pretty much bare room.

"Well, I let you get settled in..." He said, and though he tried not to sound awkward, his delivery still came across as such. After giving me a light pat on the back he left, quietly closing my door behind him.

Finally, I'm back home...

#jasper hale #jasper hale x oc #jasper hale x reader #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #rosalie hale #the twilight saga #twilight saga #twilight #emmett cullen #bella swan

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valyrfia · 10 months

Note

I really like some of the takes and overall people sharing their opinions in a safe sort of way/space.

I also love how I can trace your point of view not only on lestappen topic but on shipping in general and rpf specifically.

I think sometimes people forget (maybe due to their age or inexperience) that Max and Charles are real life human beings with high stress level jobs and who are public personas as well. If people think about themselves as nuanced individuals they should think the same way about these two too.

Like don’t get me wrong I enjoy analyzing their interactions, I do read fanfiction and always reblog a good gifset or post but I also realize that what I spent my time on is not a true reflection of reality.

Thus I don’t expect them to be publicly smooching every race weekend on camera.

They are just guys doing their job, they seem to have some type of feelings towards each other and they might as well be aware of it but even if it is so we are not gonna know about it probably. Not while they are active F1 drivers at least. And honestly? We are not supposed to know about it. It’s called private life for a reason.

So yeah I’m kinda glad to know that there are other tumblr users with similar opinions on sexuality, personal stuff and shipping and I hope the majority of the fanbase is sharing them.

First of all let me just say this is one of the kindest asks I've gotten, thank you so much <3 I love that you feel I'm curating a safe space for everyone involved

But yeah, I'm an old hat at rpf so I'm pretty good at the cognitive dissonance required to distinguish between the Max and Charles the super famous F1 drivers and the Max and Charles that we cackle about here, which is why I'm pretty straightforward about the fact that I don't like talking about their irl partners or speculating on their sexualities. It does take practice, but I think it's a really vital skill to have if we're going to talk about them. I've been involved with 3 or 4 rpf ships in my time and they get sour quickly unless we explicitly set some boundaries for ourselves.

Also let me play devil's advocate for a moment, let's say either of them are anything not straight. Imagine how absolutely terrifying that is, in an extremely high-stress sport that's had no high-profile non-straight people that competes in countries where being gay can get you killed by law. A grand majority of the fans would change the way they see you, probably some of the higher ups would too. Tabloids would hound you relentlessly and it's likely some people or their families in your circle would shun you. There is no way you would even think about the possibility of being openly queer in an environment like that. Whatever their sexualities are is their own private business, which is why I explicitly refuse to speculate. It's important to distinguish feelings from sexuality here. You can speculate on someone's feelings without speculating on their sexuality or how they identify.

That being said, fic plays by different rules (apart from the partners bit). I think fic can use these characters of Max and Charles to explore some really interesting theses on sexuality and how it would fit into the sport. It's still important to keep in mind that these aren't the Max and Charles that exist here in the real world though, they're characters based off of them.

#i'm not going to get into the age old 'is rpf actually morally wrong' discourse everyone has their own opinions #but what we can and should do is set some good boundaries #lestappen #anon #also this ask genuinely made me smile to receive thank you anon

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theresthesnitch · 2 years

Text

What we do to get by, Part 11

TW: teenaged patient with a bad prognosis.

Read the rest here.

(recap: Remus came into Sirius's bedroom, and they had sex. The next morning, Remus told Sirius he thought it was the "arrangement" for Remus to stay there, Sirius confessed he loved Remus, and then immediately apparated to Godric's Hollow...)

***

Sirius followed James upstairs and straight into the bedroom, where the two of them collapsed on the bed. Sirius laid on his back, looking at the ceiling, and tried to just tell James. He wanted to, but every time he opened his mouth, it was like the words got caught in his throat, and he just couldn’t.

James–bless him–didn’t push it. Instead, he said, “I’ve been trying to convince Lily to let me put a mirror on the ceiling.”

Sirius snorted. “Why do you want a mirror on the ceiling?”

“For sex, obviously.” James waived at the ceiling. “Big mirror up there, and you’d be able to see everything.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never gotten it. I mean, what are you actually going to be able to see? Or is she just going to be looking at herself over your shoulder? I bet she just ends up spotting pimples on your back that way.”

James gasped dramatically. “I do not have pimples on my back!”

“Sure, because Lily spells them all away for you.”

James shuffled a bit, but didn’t deny it. “Mirror up there would be pretty great when she’s on top.”

“So you can see the top of her head?” Sirius turned to look at James. “Everything you want to see is in front of you, isn’t it?”

The corners of James’s lips turned down considering. “Well, okay, maybe. But what about getting a blow job? I can look up and watch that.”

Sirius pushed up onto his elbows, looking around the room. “Her head blocks the action, and you’d get a much better view of her if you put a mirror over there.” He pointed to the wall across from the foot of their bed. “Much better visuals.”

James laid back. “Maybe you’re right. I still think it would be nice, though.”

Sirius laughed and shook his head. “Whatever you say, Prongs.”

James hummed, but said nothing else. Sirius took a deep breath. “I’m in love with him.”

“I know.”

Sirius turned to face him, surprised. “You know?”

James looked at him, hazel eyes sincere. “Of course I do, Padfoot. You’ve loved him since, what, fourth year or so?” He looked back to the ceiling. “He loved you too. Loves, I think.”

Sirius settled back again. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

“He did, at least.” James paused. “I always felt like the two of you were kind of dancing around each other before fifth year ended. I thought you’d both figure it out, but then…”

“We did.” Sirius waited, feeling James’s eyes on him after he turned to face Sirius. “I mean, we almost did. I kissed him.”

James laid back. “Merlin. I didn’t know.”

“I know.” Sirius began toying with his fingers. “I felt so stupid about it after everything, and I didn’t want you to know. I thought you’d hate me for it.”

James rolled to face him. "I could never hate you."

"Maybe you should." Sirius didn't turn to James, but stayed looking at the ceiling. "You should hate me for it. I hate me for it."

"Well, I don't. I don't think Remus does either." James made a noise deep in his throat. "Is that why you said Remus asked if you did it in retaliation?"

Sirius nodded. "He thought I blamed him for the kiss and did it for payback."

"Merlin." James rolled back into his back. "At least you're not that guy."

"Always finding a silver lining, aren't you, Prongs?" Sirius let his eyes slide closed.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Sirius told him, starting with the careful negotiating to get Remus to stay and all the way until he called it an arrangement. When he stopped talking, James was quiet.

"No words of comfort for me this time, Prongs?"

James shrugged. “Do you want words of comfort?”

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, of course.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe not. I don’t know that there is comfort here.”

“I’m not surprised he did it, honestly.”

“You–what?” Sirius turned toward James now. “You think I wanted sex from him in exchange for giving him a place to live?”

“No, Padfoot. I know you don’t” James sat up, then moved to lean against the headboard. “He offered me sex, too. Did you know?”

“No, I–” Sirius’s stomach dropped, something like jealousy and sadness pooling inside of him. “I didn’t know.”

“Not like that, I don’t think. He doesn’t have feelings for me.” James adjusted the pillows behind him. “Remember the conversation we had at the sleepover? About blow jobs and Lily agreeing to watch.”

“Yeah, of course.”

James licked his lips. “Well, Remus offered. Said he felt guilty for taking so much money from me after my stag party, and said that he’d let me fuck him and let Lily watch to make up for it.”

“Merlin, that’s–” Sirius shook his head.

“Yeah. It is.” James shrugged. “I told him that I was much more interested in him being my friend than in hooking up with him, and he certainly didn’t need to have sex with me out of some sort of misplaced obligation.”

“So you do want to sleep with him?” Sirius wasn’t sure why he asked, especially when the question made the pooling sadness in him turn sour.

James looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “No more than I want to fuck you.”

“So a lot, then.”

The quip felt flat, even as he said it, like something he was supposed to say rather than something he meant. James didn’t point it out, but gave his side a nudge with his foot. “Needy prick. No, what I mean is… he’s handsome, but I think my best friend is in love with him.”

Sirius rolled forward, burying his face in the bed. When he spoke again, it was muffled. “Merlin, James. What do I do now?” He pushed up on his elbows. “Have I fucked everything?”

“I thought you just fucked Remus. I didn’t know it was everything.” James laughed; Sirius groaned and buried his head again. “Well, I guess my first question is whether you told Remus to stay when you left? I’m assuming you didn’t calmly walk out without a shirt on.”

Sirius sat up, heart pounding in his chest. “James, I–I didn’t think. He can’t leave, not now.”

James smiled. “Alright, it’s okay. We’ll handle it. Lils?”

Lily peaked her head around the corner. “Yes?”

“How much of that were you listening to?” James asked.

“Sirius makes some really good points about the mirror. Though I think we could do one on the ceiling and another wall mirror too.”

Sirius snorted. “Of course you were listening the whole time.” Lily only shrugged. Perhaps he should be mad, but he knew that James would tell her eventually. They didn’t actually keep secrets from each other, which both baffled and amazed Sirius.

“Would you go check on Remus? Make sure he stays?” James asked.

“Sure. Anything else you want me to tell him, Sirius?” Lily leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.

Sirius shook his head. “I don’t know that there is anything to say now.” Lily nodded, and turned to leave. “Lily? He–he doesn’t know how to cook. I don’t know if he’s eaten today, and I didn’t make anything he can just heat up.”

Lily nodded. “I’ll set him up for a few days. Do you want me to grab you some clothes too?”

Sirius looked between the two of them. “Is that okay? Can I stay?”

James scooted closer to him, wrapping his arms around Sirius. “Of course you can, Padfoot. You can always stay.”

Lily turned again. “I’ll be back later. Sooner if he’s not there, and we’ll go find him.”

They listened to Lily walk down the stairs and out the door, and it was a crack through the morning air that let them know she left. Sirius settled against James’s chest, letting the thump of his heart in his chest settle his nerves. James reached up and pulled out the hair band in Sirius’s hair, then ran his fingers down the long strands of hair.

Perhaps it was part of the dog in him, but Sirius always calmed when someone pet his hair like this, something that James exploited more often than not. Not that Sirius particularly minded.

“Do you want to keep talking?” James asked as Sirius lay boneless against him.

Sirius sighed. “I don’t know what to do now, James. I don’t know how to stop loving him.”

“Do you need to stop?”

Sirius buried his face against James’s chest, and James’s arms wrapped tighter around him. “It hurts to love him. Knowing he doesn’t love me makes it so much worse.”

James continued to run his fingers through Sirius’s hair, and after a moment, he relaxed again. “Are you sure he doesn’t?”

“He called it an arrangement.” Sirius shook his head. “I couldn’t make that sort of arrangement, not with him. Could you do that with Lily?”

James went silent for a minute, humming. “If I thought that’s all I thought I could ever have? Then yeah, I’d take every second of an arrangement and never let her go.”

“I can’t think that way, James.” Sirius turned his head so he could see James’s face. “I can’t hope that he feels that way. If he doesn’t, if he just thought of this as a transaction, I think that would break me.”

“So, what? You’re going to pretend you don’t love him?”

Sirius settled against him again. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying for years to stop loving him. I don’t know that I know how to.”

“Maybe you’re not meant to stop loving him. Maybe you’re meant to keep loving him, even if he doesn't love you back.”

“James.” Sirius felt like he was close to tears, and he didn’t cry. Blacks don’t cry. Perhaps that was the leftover voice of his mother in his head, but he couldn’t bring himself to fight it now. “How do I survive that?”

“I don’t know, love.” James twisted a strand of Sirius’s hair around his finger. “I think you just take it one day at a time, one interaction at a time, and maybe start trying to find someone else.”

Sirius sighed again. “I don’t see that happening.”

“Well, maybe not immediately.” James kissed the top of his head, and Sirius let himself just relax against James. “You will find someone, though. I’m sure of it. You’ve got too much love to give, and so many reasons for someone to love you.”

Sirius snorted, not really believing it. He didn’t argue, but James didn’t need him to vocalize it to fight him on the point. “I’m not joking, Padfoot. You’re a catch. If I didn’t have Lily, I’d have to snatch you up myself.”

Sirius smiled against his chest. “You’d be lucky to have someone as great as me.”

“I would.” He kissed Sirius’s head again. “I am.”

Sirius felt a tightening in his chest and a stinging in his eyes, and he willed himself not to give in to his emotions again. James didn’t say anything further, letting Sirius sit in the silence as he played with his hair.

That lasted… maybe five minutes. “So. How was it?”

Sirius was floating somewhere between awake and asleep, lulled by James’s steady heartbeat and the warmth of his body, and the question didn’t quite register at first. “How was what?”

“Sex with Moony.” James was still twirling his hair. “I bet he’s good.”

Sirius let out a huff of laughter, happy for the lighter moment, and entirely unsurprised and yet somewhat shocked that James actually asked. “It was fucking fantastic. Probably the best sex of my life.”

“Knew it.” James said it under his breath, and for some reason, that left them both laughing until their sides hurt.

***

At some point, after the conversation took many twists and turns into a dozen unrelated things, Sirius fell asleep, still wrapped up in James. James must have eventually fallen asleep as well, because Sirius woke up with his arms around James’s chest, and James’s face pressed against his head. He wasn’t sure what woke him, though, until he realized that the smaller body behind him was not James.

Sirius turned in James’s arms as Lily’s came around his middle as well. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and he settled back against James. “Still there, then?”

“He was. He was packed up to leave, though.” Lily’s fingers started to draw soft, soothing circles on Sirius’s arms.

“Does he hate me?”

“Not even a little bit.” She pressed a kiss into his shoulder. “He’s scared and confused. He’s worried you hate him now.”

Sirius took a deep breath. “Did you tell him that’s not true?”

“Of course, I did. I don’t think he believed me, but he probably won’t until you go home and tell him yourself.”

There was a flutter in his chest. Hope, maybe, or he’d think it was if he had anything to hope for. “He’ll wait for me to come back?”

“I think so.” Sirius turned to look at her, and she could only shrug. “I had to convince him that he needed to talk to you, and you needed time. He said he would stay, but I wouldn’t make him wait too long.”

“I won’t.” Sirius held both of them close. “I can’t go back tonight. I need… I need some time.”

“Take a day or two.” James’s voice was still thick with sleep. “I’ll go check on him tomorrow and make sure he stays.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed a hand around both of their arms. “Both of you.”

***

Sirius stayed with James and Lily for the rest of the day, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought it would be. Neither of them mentioned Remus or what had happened. They also didn’t let Sirius wallow in his feelings about it, which he appreciated. Instead, they filled the silence with small meaningless discussions, like whether they should replace the entire set of plates they received for their wedding since three had already chipped, or whether the new paint in the second bathroom made it smell less. They didn’t mind when Sirius chimed in, and they didn’t push him when he stayed silent, and it was precisely what he needed.

When he went to sleep later that night, with a pillow wedged between the two of them in their bed, Sirius was endlessly grateful that James had married a woman who was willing to accept him, too.

The next day, James slipped out to see Remus while Lily had him distracted making breakfast, and Sirius almost didn’t notice.

Almost.

When he watched James softly shut the front door behind him, Lily ran an understanding hand down his arm, and distracted him once again. He was, again, endlessly grateful for her.

James returned a few hours later, and Sirius stayed busy. He didn’t notice when Lily quietly walked out of the room, and he didn’t notice that they were whispering in the next room, and he didn’t overhear them trying to figure out the best strategy to fix this. He didn’t notice. He didn’t. He. Did. Not.

Sirius finally let himself ask James what happened sometime in the middle of the afternoon, after James brought him a mug of tea and they sat on the couch with their feet tangled up under a blanket. “So?”

James, bless him, didn’t miss a beat. “He’s still there. I think he’ll stay until you get home, but I also don’t think he’s unpacked. I think he expects you to kick him out. Despite–” James added quickly as Sirius made to interrupt “–the fact that I told him you wouldn’t.”

Sirius settled back against the armrest, sipping his tea. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Sirius chewed on his lip. “Does he hate me?”

“No, he doesn’t.” James spoke so fast that Sirius looked at him in disbelief. “No, really. He’s feeling a lot of things, but none of them are hatred or anger toward you.”

“What is he feeling?”

James pursed his lips, considering Sirius for a moment. “I don’t know that it’s really my place to share. He opened up to me about a lot of things, and I won’t betray that confidence.”

Sirius nodded once, a firm downward strike of his head. He hoped it indicated confidence and decision rather than the way that he felt like the ground underneath him was shaken. “Right. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay.”

James looked down at his mug, and Sirius could feel the weight of the words he hadn’t yet spoken. He waited, and eventually James looked up again. “If I had to guess, I think the overriding feeling he’s experiencing is actually fear.”

That hit Sirius’s stomach like a rock, a weight that weighed him down. “Why is he afraid?”

“I think–” James sighed, rubbing his forehead before he continued. “I think that we’ve only scratched the surface on some of the things that happened to him during the missing years. I think he’s trained himself to expect the worst, and that’s what he’s expecting from you.”

“Prongs, I would never–”

“I know, Sirius.” The use of his first name grounded him. “I know, and I think he knows that too, he just doesn’t believe it.”

“Then I’ll just have to make him believe it.”

***

Sirius stayed another night with James and Lily, leaving early in the morning for work. It was one of those long and grueling shifts, the kind that dragged him down and made him feel like he’d worked a full shift when he was only a few hours in. After his lunch break, a familiar face checked in.

“Colin!” Sirius hopped up on the edge of his bed as he was wheeled down the hallway by an orderly. “It’s not my birthday yet. You didn’t have to come see me.”

Colin smiled, the kind of smile that only comes after hours of sitting in a hospital room and tossing jokes around with the young healers. The kind of smile that comes when a kid spends too much time on the ward. “I thought you might be getting lonely without me here. Do you even know how to take a break if I’m not here for you to annoy?”

Sirius gasped dramatically, falling back on the bed across Colin’s feet. “I am not annoying. Take it back!”

Colin laughed, pulling his feet out from behind Sirius and digging them into his side. “I won’t; it’s the truth.”

Sirius scoffed. “You and your dirty lies.” He hopped off the bed as the orderly pushed the bed into the room that would be Colin’s for the length of his stay. “So, buddy, what brings you in here today?”

Colin pulled back the edge of his shirt, revealing the green tendrils of the curse spiraling out from the middle of his chest. “Cool new tattoos, dude.”

The sight of it, of the spreading curse marks, made Sirius’s breath catch in his chest. It had never been this bad before. “You’ve let that go this time, haven’t you? You know, if you want cool tattoos like mine, you don’t have to let your curse spread.” Sirius pulled back his collar to reveal the runes he and James had gotten tattooed on their chests just before James’s wedding.

“Woah, cool!” Colin reached a hand out, and Sirius let him run his fingers over the dark lines. “What does it mean?”

“My best friend, James, and I got them together. It’s supposed to create an eternal bond between us, closer than brothers.” Sirius ran his fingers over the rune. “If he’s ever in trouble, it will let me know, and he will know if I’m in trouble.”

Colin’s eyes were wide. “That’s so cool.”

“Mhm.” Sirius took a step closer, holding his hand out to Colin. “Can I take a look at yours?”

Sirius had Colin take his shirt off so he could get a closer look at the marks on his chest. Sirius could nearly feel the pulse of the magic under his fingers as he traced the mark. It seemed alive, separate from Colin, like a festering wound that was attached to him. Sirius kept his composure, but it worried him. “Well, we’re going to have to take care of that, now aren’t we? Is your mum here today?”

Colin settled back into his bed again. “She is. She was doing some paperwork down at the front desk. You going to go tell her how you’re going to fix me this time?”

“You got it kid.” Sirius turned for the door. “Anything I can get for you right now?”

“I want you to come back with the best stories in the hospital. All the juicy gossip.” Colin beamed at him. “Also, the mediwitch downstairs told me that you’ve got a house guest, and I want to hear all about him.”

Sirius snorted. “Aren’t you too young for that kind of gossip?”

“I knew it would be juicy.” Sirius laughed, but Colin only smiled. “Plus, I’m about to turn 17. I’m not that young.”

“Uh-huh. We’ll see what your mum says about that.” Sirius walked out the door, and closed it behind him. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the fear that welled up inside of him as soon as he saw Colin’s mark. When he opened his eyes again, Sylvie Creevey was walking toward him in the hallway.

“Oh, Healer Black. I’m so glad you’re on today. It always cheers him up when he sees you.”

Sirius opened his arms and let Sylvie give him a hug. He wouldn’t do it for every patient, but he’d spent a lot of time with the two of them, and it felt right. “I’m glad I’m here too. How are you doing?”

She gave him a shaky smile, one that he recognized as a parent who was trying their best not to be too worried. “I’m here. Did you get a look at him?”

Sirius pursed his lips. “I did. How long has it been like that?”

“It hasn’t, I swear.” She tucked a loose strand of hair back. “Last night, he went to bed, and it was the same as it always is. This morning, he woke up and it was like this. It was so quick.”

“Hm, it must be spreading across the same paths it’s taken before, making it easier to reach farther.” Sirius chewed on his lip as he considered the implications that he didn’t spell out for her. In all likelihood, he didn’t need to. She’d been around far too long to miss it.

“So, what do we do?” He could hear the plea in her voice, the desperate hope that he had a plan.

He didn’t want to rip out her hope. “Well, we start by doing what we’ve always done.” Sirius tucked his hands into the pockets of his healing robes. “We’ll start the treatment to prevent spreading and reduce the current progress of the spell, and we’ll try a few new courses of healing that we’re hopeful may work to remove the curse entirely.” Sirius wasn’t sure they really had any new courses. They hadn’t in a while, and they were running out of directions to turn.

Sylvie wasn’t confused. “What we’ve done before? It barely worked last time. What if it doesn’t work this time?”

“Then we keep trying.” Sirius placed an arm on her shoulder. “I know it’s a lot, Sylvie, but we will keep trying until we figure this out.” Or until it’s too late. Had they already reached that point?

She nodded, and let out a long sigh. “I hope we find the answer.”

***

By the time he got back to his flat, he nearly wished he had decided to spend another night with James and Lily. He probably still could. They probably wouldn’t even say anything if he showed up on their doorstep tonight.

Only, Sirius had told them that he was going to be going home, and he didn’t want to back down. It was time to go home and face…whatever he could expect from Remus.

Only, as soon as the door opened, all of the fight in Sirius fled. He stepped inside the threshold and immediately spotted Remus sitting on the couch. His legs were crossed, one over the other, and his arms were crossed over his chest. He had a book in his lap, and he chewed on the thumbnail of one hand while he watched Sirius intently. Sirius's eyes were drawn to the nervous shaking of his foot in the air.

Sirius turned and put his coat on the hook. Slipping his shoes off and leaving them on the mat. "'Lo, Remus." Was that the wrong thing to say? Should he have called him Moony? He'd been so skittish about whether the nickname was okay, but maybe it would have made him feel more–

"Hi, Sirius." Remus wet his lips, and Sirius pretended he didn't notice. "Did you, uh, have a good time with James and Lily?"

Sirius struggled to hide his reaction. So this was how they were going to play this out? "Staying with them is always interesting. One minute, you'd think they were going to bicker themselves into a fight, and the next they're snogging like they haven't seen each other in years."

Remus chuckled darkly, looking down, and Sirius immediately regretted his choice of wording. "Oh, shit, I didn't mean–"

Remus cut him off. "You said you loved me."

Blunt. To the point. Classic Remus.

"I did."

"Did you mean it?"

Sirius took three breaths, letting the silence hang in the room before he found an answer. “Yes.”

Remus chewed on his nail again, and Sirius wanted to stop him. It wasn’t Sirius’s place to stop him. Remus looked up at him again. “You shouldn’t do that.”

Sirius’s heart might as well be beating out of his chest. Was this the moment that Remus told him that he could never love him, that he despised Sirius? It would only be fair, if he did, after what Sirius had done. “Oh? Why not?”

Remus shook his head, and Sirius registered the sadness in his eyes before he even spoke. “I’m not worth it. I’m–”

“Do not–” Sirius put so much emphasis on the word that he wasn’t surprised when Remus jumped slightly “–put yourself down to me.”

Remus sat a little straighter. “Okay.”

“If you do that, I’m going to have to tell you–” the words caught in his throat, behind a lump that was formed of the words he was desperate for Remus to hear. “I’m going to have to give you a list of all the wonderful things about you, and I don’t think I could make it through that conversation in one piece today.” He ran a hand over his face, taking three long breaths again. Remus waited, quietly. “Sorry, it was just a terrible shift and a bad patient. It’s not you.”

“Oh.” Remus slumped in his seat again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make your day worse.”

“You didn’t.” Sirius rolled his shoulders, accepting that he was going to have to address this now. “Seeing you’re still here really does make everything better. I hope you’ll stay.”

“You want me to?” Remus’s voice was a mix of surprise and hope.

“Remus, I never want you to leave again.” The word slipped from his mouth, and he wished he’d thought before he’d said it. “I don’t mean that–not like an arrangement. I just, I’m just happy you’re here. For no reason at all except for the fact that I’m happy you’re here. Please say you’ll stay, Remus.”

Remus wouldn’t look at him, but he nodded. “I will. I’ll stay if you’ll have me, but only if you promise to tell me if I get to be too much. If it’s too much, I’ll leave.”

That will never happen. He doesn’t say it. “I will.” Sirius walked out of the room and back to his bedroom.

Remus was staying. Tonight, it hurt as much as it soothed Sirius, but Remus was staying.

#what we do to get by #wolfstar #wolfstar angst #sirius black #remus lupin #what if the prank ended differently?#snitchwrites #tumblr exclusive #(for now)

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thatiranianphantom · 11 months

Note

I don't usually slide into the ask box of people that I strongly disagree with. It's usually utterly pointless and I usually adhere to a strict "live and let live" policy...but your RD takes are just so deeply unsettling that I am making an exception.

Claiming that RD is softcore porn now is just...not true.

This is not even remotely softcore porn. This is barely erotic. And I think your assertion that the show feels like a masturbatory fantasy from the writers has a lot more to do with the fact that you're personally unhappy with the show's direction than the show itself. It's a bad faith reading on the show, steeped in pearl clutching, Hayes Code romancing, nonsense.

Takes like yours, whether they mean to or not, are begging for the Hayes Code to come back. Begging. "Oh, TV shows should only show good morals and whenever they show something morally ambiguous, it should be clear where the moral failings are".

That's a big part of the Hayes Code. And I, for one, reject that ideology with every fiber of my being. TV shows do not need to be parables. They are under no obligation to preach good morals to their audiences. Their purpose is to express ideas!

And Riverdale is doing a bang up job, if I do say so myself (even if I personally feel it could have gone further with a lot of its plots). It's meta-commentary on Americana, film, and television is unmatched. Its refusal to be any one thing is both brave and fascinating. The show has remained true to its vision despite pissing off much of its audience, which is rare in a landscape of shameless pandering for views. God bless Riverdale for that.

(Speaking only of the show itself here, not its marketing.)

But back to the main point. You claim no one will want to hire the Riverdale writers after this and that you think they should go to prison. That's...honestly a deeply conservative mindset and you're not alone in thinking that, but you are highly visible. So, I bring my thoughts to your ask box.

I implore you to look beyond the surface of the media you consume and to recognize that our reactions to stories have a lot more to do with our own feelings than the stories themselves unless we specifically step away from ourselves for analysis. And hey, there's nothing wrong with having opinions on your own blog, so feel free to dismiss me as a little hater. <3

I apologize that this has gotten so long and if I sounded nasty. I am just so deeply disturbed by the prevalence of purity culture in fandom these days. It starts with "think of the children!" and "No kink at pride!" and ends with the eradication of anyone who doesn't fit into the conservative ideal for culture. I'm not saying that you want that, per se, but be careful because those that do want that think similarly.

Thanks.

Okay.....first of all, and I mean this genuinely, kudos to putting your name behind this. This doesn't happen often, so a true fist bump to you.

How generous of you to come here and offer unsolicited and incredibly condescending pseudo-intellectual commentary on what I am allowed to post on my blog. Very generous. But hey, I'm high profile! Lil' ol' me! Look Ma, I made it!

Now we gotta get in the weeds here. Yeah, I am not going to take back or apologize for how softcore-y this show has been this season. I stand behind the statements I made about how creepy it is to watch a grown man's masturbatory fantasy play out on screen. In the last episode alone, they have sexualized pedophilia and grooming (with a teacher student fantasy) and children playing a board game.

See the thing is, it would be purity culture to suggest a woman CAN'T have sex or be sexually attracted to someone. We spent 6 years with Betty as someone who liked sex, and that was fine! We even spent s5 with Betty who used sex as a bandaid. That wasn't healthy, but she was an adult woman having sex. It was fine. Fifties Betty has sex as her ENTIRE character. There is nothing else to 50s Betty. She's horny. She wants to have sex. She wants to have sex so much that she's actively predatory. That's it. And having one and only one character motivation kinda flies in the face of the whole "feminism" thing the show is trying to project, don't it?

Hey, I'll give you that the show THINKS it is making a feminist statement. I'll give you that the show's writers probably THINK they are fixing racism, sexism and homophobia in one fell swoop. But they aren't. Quite the contrary, they are actively furthering those issues while thinking they're doing an amazing job. They degrade women while touting themselves as feminists. They made their only Latina family mob members while touting themselves champions of POC stories. They view themselves as LGBT representation while one character decides another's sexuality and their agency in coming out is stripped from them.

Adding to that, it's fine if you disagree with me. I speak only for myself, and the block button is easy to find. It's all good. I'm not offended that you disagree with me, but to suggest Riverdale is scathing, witty meta-commentary? RIVERDALE????? I don't think I'm the one who doesn't know what this show is, anon. This show is a vehicle to leer on the hot cast members, and more recently, to act out some personal ~aesthetic* writer fantasies. It has never and will never be what you proclaimed it to be:

"meta-commentary on Americana, film, and television is unmatched. Its refusal to be any one thing is both brave and fascinating. The show has remained true to its vision despite pissing off much of its audience, which is rare in a landscape of shameless pandering for views. God bless Riverdale for that."

I'm...a little stunned that you think it is. But nonetheless, I stand behind the statement that writers whose misogyny comes out LOUDLY in their writing, who have stripped this show of anything interesting, recognizable or interesting, and whose relationship with the fans on social media is disturbing at best, will not be prime targets for new shows.

Again, I do genuinely commend you for putting your name behind your thoughts. I have no issue with you disagreeing with me, or the majority of the fandom in general. I have no ill will to you. But yes, I believe this season of the show is disturbing, misogynistic and creepily sexual. It's a statement I stand by, and while you're under no obligation to agree, I hope you're able to find the block button next time.

#answered #watergatescandelous #Riverdale #RD negativity #There's more I didn't put in here I'm just #???

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drfoxweyman · 8 months

Text

State of personal affairs (IMPORTANT)

(TL;DR will be towards the bottom for those who don’t wanna read my ramblings, but I’d prefer you did since this is important.) Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well, I’ll cut to the point by saying that I am not. For the past… We’ll say couple of months I’ve been on something of a mental health spiral, and it hasn’t really gotten any better save for my time at the Con. Which was a nice, but very brief reprieve. The whys of this dip in my well being are pretty varied, and some of it I’m not really able to talk about, whether for personal reasons or respect for others. But to put it broadly, work has been stressful, home has been stressful, my health has been stressful, everything has been stressful, and as it stands I don’t think I can keep up with things right now. So I’m taking a small break from working on commissions, and allowing myself a bit more breathing room when it comes to my streams (which is to say the next few streams may be much smaller scale, more chill chatting streams.)

Now before any of you who commissioned me recently panic: With my current comms I will still be updating you guys, just at a slower rate than normal, I don’t intend to leave you guys in the lurch. But if by the time I’m done with them I still feel this bad, I probably won’t reopen my queue like I’ve been doing nonstop for the past while now. At least if I can financially help it… Streams like I said are gonna be a bit more lax. I’ll probably finish Pinkie Tower, but after that? I dunno, chatting and maybe some light doodling. Dunno how this will affect Sinner’s Saturday since some kind of income would be nice, but this week we’re definitely doing something different, just have to figure out what. And yes, I still owe you guys that Discord movie night, we’ll be doing that soon. As for how long this time off is gonna be? No clue, it might only be a few days honestly, but the longest I’m giving myself is two weeks cause I just can’t afford any longer than that. And speaking of “affording”, it’s time for literally my least favourite part of the job. The shilling™️. I probably won’t really be making much if any money during this period, so if you ever wanted to support my work with a nice tip. Now would be the time. You have no idea how much even a small tip of a few dollars can help.https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman I’m not gonna sugar coat this folks. I make peanuts on my work. That’s no one’s fault, it's just the nature of being both a small artist and streamer, it’s something I’ve come to peace with as a fact of my career choices. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stress me out. Part of why I can never usually take breaks at all is because I literally can’t afford to.

I have rent to pay, phone bills, internet, electricity bills, hormone pills, pet expenses including; food, potential vet visits, toys, poo bags, cat litter, etc. I have to have money saved up incase of an emergency whether personal or work related (computer parts need replacing, tablet needs replacing etc), then there's house expenses; food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies; replacing anything we need etc. It’s a lot, even with our packed house.

The only reason I'm able to go to Furnal Equinox or Canfurence is because I start saving up money month after month after month as a treat to myself, and even when there I tend to bring my work so I can get my commission queue done faster and reopen them again as soon as the con is done.

I’ve been told to raise my prices but let’s be honest, I’m not at the level where I can charge hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for pieces, and while this may be a pessimistic view of my work, I probably won’t be able to any time soon. Same with stream goals, I don’t feel like there’s much I can offer right now that would be worth $500 goals or something.

I’d open a merch shop or something but that would be even more stressful upkeep, and again let’s be real. My reach isn’t big enough for that and you can only sell the same merch to the same customer base for so long.

I apologize if it seems like I’m ragging on about the money, but of all the things I’m dealing with it’s the easiest to talk about because it’s something I think at least a few of you can relate to. That and the more personal troubles cut a bit deeper and I’m not sure I even really wanna talk about them because I don’t like dragging you guys down with me. We’ve made an awesome little community and I don’t need to be hurting you with my problems. Is that the healthiest way of looking at it? No probably not but there it is.

Above all that though I just want some more time to myself and the people I care about, not fretting every second that “I could be working” or “I could be monetizing this”, instead of focusing on improving my mental health so I can be a better creator for you guys, and a better person for me. I wanna draw for myself again,even if it’s just low stakes doodles or barely cohesive comic pages, or hell even just to work on my poor draftwomanship .I wanna let myself play some games and not think “Oh I have to stream this”, every time I do. I wanna be able to go out with my loved ones and not constantly be thinking “WHY AM I NOT WORKING ON COMMISSIONS???”

So TL;DR taking a light break, not sure how long exactly, will keep current customers in the loop, streams aren’t going anywhere but may be a bit different, please tip to the ko-fi so I can stay afloat during this time https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman

For those that read through, thank you so much, it means the world that you care enough about my mental health to drudge through my ravings. You’re truly the best part of this job. A wonderful community that I can just chat and be honest with, I can laugh and joke with you all without fear or anxiety. That’s exceedingly rare these days and I couldn’t be more appreciative of you lot.

That in mind, this took awhile to write, my hands are hurting, and I wanna go lie down, maybe allow myself a good cry. Thanks everyone. <3

- Blaire,“Drfoxweyman”

#real life #irl #important #text psot #long #rambling #art #artist #streamer #support #kofi #ko fi support #mental health

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