#and articulated some stuff that i really needed articulated clearly lol

[cyrsed]

Nick Walker on neuroessentialism in neuroqueer heresies: notes on the neurodiversity paradigm, autistic empowerment, and postnormal possibilities

Those who view neurodiversity through a neuroessentialist lens have an unfortunate tendency to compare and contrast neurotypicality with innate forms of neurodivergence like autism in a way that implicitly assumes autism and neurotypicality to be equally innate and equally intrinsic to a person's being. In the less well-informed discourses on neurodiversity that unfold on social media, for instance, one too often sees people speaking of "the neurotypical brain," as if neurotypicality were a biological destiny that unfolded inevitably from being born with a specific kind of brain. On a strictly neurobiological level, there's not actually such a thing as a "normal brain" or a "neurotypical brain," any more than there's such a thing as a "male brain," a "heterosexual brain," or an "American brain." Neurotypical people aren't people who all share one distinct type of human brain, they're people whose compliance with prevailing cultural standards of neuronormative performance gains them the privileges that come with being considered "normal" within the dominant culture. Neurotypicality is more a social phenomenon than a biological one. [...] some people have more innate capacity than others to adapt to the demands of neuronormative performance. But having that capacity isn't the same as being innately neurotypical. If we begin from the premise that neurotypicality is performative in the same sense that heteronormative gender roles are performative, then a newborn infant can't be legitimately considered neurotypical for the same reason a newborn infant can't be legitimately considered a straight cisgender female or a straight cisgender male: newborn infants are obviously not engaged in enacting acquired habits of performance. Infants are adorable messy little bundles of possibility, and which possibilities become realized and embodied over time depends to a large extent on the nature of the actions that a given individual learns to perform. If the innate predispositions of a given infant are fundamentally incompatible with the demands of neuronormative performance, such that a life of comfortably and convincingly performing neuronormativity isn't within that infant's scope of future possibilities, then we can legitimately say that the infant is neurodivergent-i.e., it has already diverged from the path of neuronormativity, right at the outset. The reverse, however, doesn't hold true. If the innate predispositions of a given infant are compatible with the demands of neuronormative performance, such that neurotypicality is within that infant's scope of future possibilities, that's not the same as the infant actually being neurotypical yet or being biologically destined for neurotypicality. To say that an infant is innately and "naturally" neurotypical just because it's capable of acclimating to a life of neuronormative performance makes no more sense than saying that the infant is innately and "naturally" a software engineer just because it would be possible to someday teach it to design software. In other words, it's possible to be born neurodivergent but it's not possible to be born neurotypical.

#autism #neurodivergence #neuroqueer #just finished this book!! #it was really nice #and articulated some stuff that i really needed articulated clearly lol #thank youuu #i'll probably post more quotes later bc there was some suuuper good stuff in there #i also got authoring autism: on rhetoric and neurological queerness #so we'll see how that one goes! it's a little denser than neuroqueer heresies lol

[thelordofgifs]

In response to your earlier answered ask re: scars on the re-incarnated: I just want to point out that people with prosthetic limbs or other body parts are 100% still disabled! You have to keep that stuff clean in a way people with real flesh don’t need to worry about, both the prosthetic itself and the stump! Even with Elvish magic crafting, the prosthetic won’t necessarily work as well, or in the same ways, as the original, and you’ll have to deal with that! And of course there’s still opportunity for phantom pains, societal mores of artificial limbs, etc… And if you lose it, or it’s way for repairs, you’re back to square one!

Also, needless to say, different disability narratives hit or miss for different people. I’m never a fan of undoing a character’s disability, but I do like Maedhros spending 600 years in Beleriand refusing any prosthetic better than a hook he rarely wears, for practical reasons of prioritizing resources for war but really because of self-recrimination and lingering despair, then after re-incarnation finally agreeing to a beautiful gilded hand with articulated joints which, thanks to a fëa connection perfected in the Second Age, he can use for a range simple actions like waving, carrying and lifting, and Fëanorian lamp-powered laser blasts slightly messy handwriting. It becomes a narrative of healing, you see?

But mostly: prosthetics do not nullify disability! They just make it different!

Signed: proud owner of a prosthetic eye

(This post, for reference)

This is a very important point, thank you! And I am very sorry for implying that people with prosthetics aren’t really disabled – that was badly worded and although I meant no offence at all I should definitely have phrased it differently ❤️ (the Sicknesses have got me today and I am not thinking very clearly, which doesn’t help.)

With Maedhros in particular, my objection more than anything else is to a Luke Skywalker sort of plot point where he gets a shiny new prosthetic and then his very real disability is literally never mentioned again in the story; and that’s what I tend to be wary of when I see Maedhros getting a prosthetic hand in fic, especially if he has one in Beleriand – but that’s definitely a knee-jerk response on my part, and there are certainly interesting and sensitive ways to give him a prosthetic without negating that very important part of his character. A healing narrative in Valinor where he gets a nice magic well-crafted prosthetic is definitely something I can get behind – as is one where he actually is re-embodied with his right hand, even though that very much contradicts my earlier point lol. For me it’s more about acknowledging that he did lose a hand, it was important, it symbolises both some of the worst things he ever went through and also Fingon’s boundless love for him – and that matters! But you’re absolutely right that you can thread that needle with a variety of different headcanons.

(For the record, I am technically disabled myself – although fairly minorly – and, coincidentally, part of that means I can’t always use my right hand very well; which is probably part of why I like seeing Maedhros doing things one-handed in fic and art! But as you say, different narratives work for different people, and my chronic-pain-influenced perspective is very much not the only valid one.)

Thank you for this ask; it made me think, and revise some of my assumptions! I hope this was a coherent answer, and again I am genuinely very sorry for my insensitive phrasing in the previous post.

#asks #tanoraqui #silmarillion #maedhros

[astridthevalkyrie]

soph, have you seen the diskhorse? 👀

if you mean the x reader stuff, i've seen the og post and anything my mutuals have reblogged, although i saw it pretty late (relatively) because i only found it last night before i went to bed.

(if you didn't mean that i'm so sorry lol because this post is really long)

idk i have thoughts here and i'm sure people have already articulated things better than i could, but there's two separate points the post is talking about—how a reader character is described looks wise (+ gender), and then everything else that makes up them up, ie personality, backstory, skills. there was also something about a mary sue, i think, about how most readers have not been trained as super soldiers or aren't celebrities and so they become hard to relate to.

so! here is things i think factor in for people when deciding whether a chracter is a reader or an oc. feel free to disagree, these are my thoughts and how i classify them. i'm gonna try to avoid saying "imo" this whole thing is my opinion lol.

1. giving the reader a name

i've seen both sides of this now. some people are completely taken out of a story seeing y/n or f/n or just ____ while reading, and others (like me) are taken out when they see a name that the author has assigned. authors can also do a range of things when it comes to name, and there's a difference between, say, the story starts with the reader meeting the character while eating a cookie and so he calls them cookie the whole time (any pet name, sweetheart or darling or whatever is in this catgeory as well) versus the character just being named avery.

the former is much easier to read for me because, y'know, that could still be me, someone could call me cookie if they saw me eating a cookie (sidenote if anyone called me cookie i would jump off a cliff) but my name's just not avery in any way shape or form so it suddenly becomes really hard to self insert (and reminder that the entire appeal of x reader fanfics for most people is to imagine they're the one in the story).

both things are valid! now that enough people have expressed their fondness and disdain for both, they clearly have their merits to different readers and it is completely up to someone which they prefer. anyone making complaints about either (usually the name crowd talking about how much they hate y/n from what i've seen) or anyone who says "y/n isn't me" or "katie isn't me" is just not reading fics that make them happy. in a subgenre all about making yourself happy and being self indulgent, you're letting yourself be taken out of a story by something that will keep other people very invested in it.

have your preferences. indulge in them. surround yourself by them!

SO. a reader being named does not make them an oc (and while i don't think people need to tag it, it would be nice if they did) until we get to the second point.

2. first person vs second person vs third person—and POV!

first person gets a lot of bad rep in fanfic, even when it's NOT an x reader fic. why is that? aside from how it's associated with wattpad one direction stories ("i woke up and threw my hair into a messy bun"), reading first person to many many people feels like reading out of someone's diary. even if it's from the reader's point of view, there's a disconnect that's there that simply does not let people self insert because it reads too much like the self insertion is meant for the author only. and because of the aforementioned connotation people have with it, it comes off as childish or cringy.

STILL. first person does not an oc make (didn't expect the wiseness here didya). i feel bad because first person takes me out of a story too and there are definitely more than several first person stories that aren't childish or cringy at all, BUT here's where i think the first and second point start to meet.

first person pov with f/n—still an x reader fanfic. first person pov with a named character—oc.

the same goes for third person. i've written third person reader and though i tried to avoid saying the reader's name at all (it becomes exceptionally awkward in third person), i did still use f/n everytime it came up.

second person pov is the only one that works with a named character and is still an x reader fanfic.

excuse me! someone calls out. what if i write from the character's point of view and not the reader's?

i'm so glad you asked! pretty much the same rules apply. this is when we get into how second person can be used without us seeing the reader's thoughts, and fanfic authors do it all the time. "he wanted to kiss you so bad, he thought of nothing but your lips the whole week" and "'i want to kiss gilda so bad,' he groaned, thinking of you" work, while in the same vein "i wanted to kiss ashley so bad" or "he wanted to kiss martha so bad" doesn't work.

the character's pov is easier to write in some ways because:

3. reader's personality

there is much much MUCH less to worry about when writing from the character's POV now that you don't have to write the reader's thoughts. (third person omniscient writers, y'all are so brave.) of course that's why smaller headcanon or sexy posts are easier to write (which doesn't make them any less enjoyable or valid), it's because they center on the character and how they would act while having very little to do with the reader. they do well on tumblr because tumblr favors shorter posts that are easy to consume, not because they're particularly better. if you ask people what their favorite reader fic is, most will give you a fic in which the reader most certainly has a personality.

it is highkey impossible to write a fullfledged story without giving the reader a personality, even if you write from the character's POV, which no one should feel obligated to anyways. everyone has already said this, but yeah, it is also impossible to create a character that will relate to anyone.

but do they have to be super competent or kickass or the biggest flirt or a ninja warrior gymnast superhero?

uh, yeah, they kinda do. here's where the hard truth comes in—these fics are meant for readers to self insert, but they're primarily meant for the authors of those fics to self insert into. you might not want to read a story in which everyone and their mothers think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, but escapism is different for everyone. if someone following the pov and name rules i mentioned above, their reader could have all the personality in the world, coupled with a tragic backstory and a career that would put barbie to shame, and it would still be a reader fanfic, and "personality" does not need to be tagged. it would be extremely goofy if it was.

(although, a lot of fandoms DO tag features their reader has in case you want to block them out on ao3—think mha with their "reader has a quirk" tag.)

and finally, the most hot topic issue.

4. giving reader a set look/reader's gender identity and pronouns

yes. "your pale skin" takes me out. "your slim waist" takes me out. "your blue eyes" takes me out. pronouns that aren't mine take me out. any descriptor that wouldn't apply to me takes me completely out of a reader fic. unlike personality, it's not impossible to write a story without putting physical traits on a reader.

....that's not to say it's not hard, though. i hope people recognize that. if you're writing other characters interacting, flirting, kissing, or having sex with your reader, there's going to be at least some instances where "she looks up at you" just has a different effect than "she looks at you" and you don't wanna not include people who are shorter than the character and sometimes you have to sacrifice the picture you're trying to paint for inclusivity or vice versa. many authors are picturing either themselves or an oc in their heads as they write, and it's extremely difficult to check yourself after every sentence to ensure that absolutely no physical description is present.

(in a much smaller picture before i go on, i'd like to specifically mention the word "blush" because people bring it up a lot. unpopular opinion, but i really don't see a problem with the word, mostly because i think despite its dictionary definition, blushing is not limited to cheeks being red, it's synonymous with blood rushing to your cheeks, which can happen to anyone. my skin tone is dark enough that people can't tell if i blush, but i do blush regardless, just, y'know, discreetly. it becomes something else if the narration or a character points out a reader's cheeks are red, but otherwise i really think anyone can blush. if people want to avoid it as i mostly do to just not ruffle feathers, i usually stick with "you feel your cheeks heating up" and that has about the same effect.)

so, yeah, it's difficult. it's also not wrong—and i don't think it creates an oc. people can write a reader that looks like them and have it still be self insertable to other people or even have their works read by people who don't mind physical descriptions when reading x reader fics.

obviously there is an issue with how poc are treated in fandom and representation in general with the lack of dark-skinned readers and male readers, which is, as pointed out by others, because there are simply more white female authors. so what's the solution, so as to not alienate poc or ppl with pronouns that aren't she/her who are reading fics that contain afab she/her readers or descriptors?

(ik that's wordy, shh, i'm tired.)

tagging! everyone cries simultaneously. tag your stuff!

yeah, pretty much, exceeeeept. it's one thing for people to tag their fics with black!reader or afab!reader or variations of those, and it's an entirely different thing to say white!reader. you know why you don't see that? because it would leave the same bad taste in people's mouths if, say, netflix had a category about white empowerment. with basic historical and social context, it's not a great idea.

the better idea is probably to tag something like "Reader Has A Physical Description" or something along the lines that someone else could word better than me. then either in the tags or in the author's note (in the beginning) mention the types of descriptors, i.e. "reader will be described as having pale skin." that's it! go ahead and make the reader pale to your heart's content. pale readers and people who don't care will be able to read and others who hopefully make the effort to read the tags (always read the tags!) will just scroll and find a fic they like more. on the opposite side, "Reader Has No Physical Description" could also work as a tag to assure people that your reader will not have their physical traits described. that covers skin color, eye color, hair length and texture, height, etc.

and if something does not exist for you, if you want more amab readers with they/them pronouns or if you're like me and you're south asian and want a reader that jams out to bollywood music then you're always, always free to write one of your own or request from authors who allow it. as most poc readers know, having someone who is of the same race or ethnicity as you write something with their experience clearly woven into the story can be very personal, as it is for them to write.

so! tldr: pov matters a lot when determining oc or reader, and names, personality and looks less so, but everything is about what shapes your experience and preference. tags are important, as is keeping in mind that x reader fics are meant for self insertion both for the author and the reader. write what you want, but let's be conscious of alienating people who are already lacking representation in fandom. happy reading, happy writing, hope those characters love you like you deserve!

#x reader #x reader discourse #writing #fanfiction #fanfic

[lobotomidori]

YIPPEE!! ANTI WHO WAS BABYING ME STOPPED, JOYOUS DAY!! unfortunately, the anti in question is the flavour that pretends to know shit about me despite actually knowing nothing (clearly), so im gonna go over it :3

also HAII, i know youre gonna see this, so buckle in ^_^ (oh, and if you really wanna continue, dms are an option ^^ ill unblock you if you really want to have a civil conversation so that you can at least get your facts straight 🫶)

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i actually dont see whats wrong with not wanting someone to like me while running an account that supports activism for hatred against people like me.. sorry for not wanting "hate activism offical" to like me lmao

its not even really about politics or beliefs. in this situation, you wouldnt be just looking past my political stances or beliefs, you are against my identity. if you need to look past my identity in order to like me, then you do not like me. i dont think i articulated this right in my original post, so this is what i actually meant. i am able to look past beliefs on some things, but i cant look past someone thinking that people like me should not exist or thinking we are inherently harmful due to our identities.

i dont really know what you meant in that last post, though, because i left the anti community due to it fueling my self-hatred. i left antis and joined radqueers because i have actually been able to love myself in the rqc.

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firstly, i would have at least liked an apology for the misgendering. you copy and pasted the exact quote where i pointed out the misgendering, and completely ignored it. you had to go to my profile to get that quote because my post wasnt in the rq tags, AND you used my actual prns for some of the og post, so i really dont get why you couldnt at least apologize for misgendering me

now onto your actual point; i left the anti community because it was extremely damaging to me, and i went to radqueers because the community had previously been a safe space for one of my headmates. the reason that headmate had her blog deleted was because a different headmate found it, panicked, and deactivated it. as for why our first collective radqueer tumblr was deleted; it was due to being stalked by antis. not due to radqueers

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i am extremely happy! i know multiple who can confirm, actually. i love ciel so much, and everything he does with me is stuff i beg him to do :3

"happy is a weird word to use here" bro thinks hes in my head and knows me emotions 💀

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i take full accountability for all these posts, and still would say all the things said in them, however i will point out that not only is the second screenshot taken entirely out of context, but it was very clearly a joke and i have made it so extremely clear that i dont support that.

the context of the second screenshot was actually a situation in which i was being misgendered and was facing transphobia+transmisogyny due to being a trans woman and also being transharmful. an anon had gone into ciel's inbox, misgendering me and being transphobic as well as applying transmisogynistic stereotypes to me. one of these stereotypes was the "youre only a trans woman because you want to assault women" trope, and in that same ask, said that it makes me un-ladylike. i brought up in a server that it upset me, because i genuinely do my very best to pass, and office-vampire sent that ask in as a joking way of boosting my mood. youre allowed to be against the joke, but please understand how vital this context is.

anyways, i do support consang. i fully stand by that lol.. and the horrible illegal things are CONSENSUAL cannibalism (<- horrible, but not illegal) and CONSENSUAL mutilation (<- horrible and not actually illegal due to consent being involved). so once more, i fully stand by it!! :3

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i fully admit to saying all of the previously mentioned things

and that second part about ciel not making me who i am.. your screenshot doesnt disprove that? he didnt program the consang support, transids, or paraphilias into me.. so im not really sure what you thought you were getting at? unless you genuinely believe that my trauma is who i am in which case.. disgusting

as for that last thing..... "you are inadvertently the cause for all of the drama", yeah, no, hot stinky garbage take because thats not how that works lmao. joining a community =/= going around to old friends and asking them to make bullshit callouts on us. tighten that screw, then try again

also, i wouldnt really say that bringing him into a community that allows him to be himself is "bringing him into a mess", i think youre just misunderstanding what i said in the original post. him and i were in the community for a good long while before people started making those dumbass callout posts. not going to take accountability for causing drama if im not the one who caused it. me and my boyfriend existing in a community is not inherently causing drama. if i made those ratty ass callouts, then yeah, id take accountability, but i didnt. thus, there is nothing to be accountable for because i did not ask for that (pls learn what taking accountability is)

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"i blame ciel, nobody else" very much does imply that you think im not. if you didnt want it to come off that way, then maybe you shouldnt have mentioned that you think ciel made me this way. pretty fucking simple i think

anyways, i take accountability for the things i actually did do (be pro-consang, make a joke to clear myself up, and make a joke about what i want to do with my partner)! i also take accountability for being who i am WITHOUT ciel's influence because he caused none of it ^^

#🌿 — midori.txt #tw sa mention #misgendering cw

[jazzforthecaptain]

I was around while Free! was super popular on tumblr, but couldn't join in at the time. I found it after subscribing to Crunchyroll and have been watching it over break. Omg, I get it.

I mean I'm a Haikyuu!! girlie, and I got into Prince of Tennis back in college - always love me a good team sport anime. I was already going to like Free! but the quality of the storytelling and the animation surprised me. I love how while it leans into some tropes of the subgenre, it bucks others. Most of the time I find myself drawn to a couple characters. The rest are typically comfortable tropes, there to fill space and provide a familiar arc of relationships. Free! may be the first of its subgenre that invested me in the entire ensemble cast. The interpersonal dynamics are fascinating, and over time it seems like everyone's developing their own relationships with each other. Plus, I mean, Rei. Rei. I expected a certain cerebral statistician trope from him when he came in with his glasses and his precision head math. What I've got instead is this deeply enthusiastic soul who waxes poetic about the beauty of the sport and is still bad at swimming because he's so new to it - but getting better! He's a good teammate and is attentive and supportive to everyone. Rei's earnest enthusiasm is why I'm here typing this right now. He's infectious. He's me. But Haru's struggle to find his reason for swimming competitively is relatable, as well as his struggle to articulate what he wants and needs and be understood. Makoto's the calm, devoted friend I'd like to be, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and loving and supporting people where they're at. And Nagisa is the facilitator friend with the Force of Nature personality that can get anyone on board to do anything. The fascinating thing is, they all have gotten moments to better explain why they function like this in their friend group, as well as moments when they fail and moments when we see what they're hiding, and I believe we'll get more. It elevates basic roles in a sports anime into something richer and compelling.

If that were all, it would be enough. But this series has gorgeous, gorgeous animation. The swimming sequences are detailed and stylized. They're beautiful, clearly meant to be part of the feeling behind the story, and it shows. The facial animation is incredible. I really love how Free! does silent exchanges between characters, particularly Makoto and Haru. Their expressions are alive. And the show has a stronger sense of place than much of the sports anime I've watched. I feel like I could map some of this out if I went back and looked through it.

This isn't to say Free! is some peak tier anime. One of the main cast inexplicably has shark teeth. We got a shopping episode with a swim gear montage for no reason other than to show how much Rei really likes rainbows and butterflies. We spend a lot of time looking at very elaborately detailed back muscles, lol. I'm sure the swimming factoids aren't 100% accurate and there's plenty of Swimming Is SRS BSNS moments. But that's the silly stuff that makes me love team sports anime.

The longer I watch this, the more I enjoy it. If you like Haikyuu!! but haven't given Free! a watch yet, you might want to.

#free! iwatobi swim club #free! anime

[thesherrinfordfacility]

im so sorry for the unrelated ramble, but it's actually so helpful for me to type this out, it helps with understanding what my own theories even are when i write other stuff... so thank you!!! please do keep rambling unrelatedly; it's really enjoyable to read. (i say while simultaneously being worried my own rambles are too unrelated/ramble-y or that i'm somehow violating tumblr etiquette by sending such long anon asks. *sighs*)

inspiration did not vibe with me for it BUT another is in the works and is actually shaping up to be a Slap so stay tuned!!! it is a slap :)

personally, i don't believe that that would remove any agency from metatron (same as aziraphale who, for all of his questionable decisions, to my mind hasn't lacked agency) the thing with aziraphale is that he makes decisions - their questionableness aside - based on what he personally believes is right. that's influenced by how he interprets the great/ineffable plan but in the end his own morals win through regardless of how much he might later worry. whereas the metatron is acting fully in accordance with what he thinks the plan is so to allow a bit more room for free will i think he needs to have the end goal set by the plan but use his own judgement how that should be accomplished rather than having a full list of instructions in his head, even if it's imagined. and then his own desires play into that by him using said own judgement to determine that clearly the best way to carry out the plan is by him having absolute power in heaven. like, i'd prefer him to decide that what he did must have been good since he's a) the metatron b) doing it in order to stabilise heaven/bring about armageddon/launch the second coming/etc? not sure i'm articulating this terribly well. and anyway i may just be nitpicking. but that's where i see the difference between him and aziraphale.

would be javert from les misérables. the law is created, in his eyes, to uphold justice (good); when that law is broken, he is compelled to mete out that justice (also good). it's not a perfect analogy perfect maybe not but pretty good. i'd say the metatron's a bit more self serving but since he works for actual god he can also be more deluded about what he's doing. after all. he's a divine instrument. the voice of god. how can anything he does be wrong? if he takes power in the course of carrying out god's plan then that must be part of the plan even if it's not been explicitly written anywhere.

i did some writing around shax a couple of days ago, so in hand with that I'll think on your points a little more, they're excellent ones!!! thanks! meanwhile i'll think about your excellent points about shax and approach connecting the two from the other side. hopefully we might actually meet in the middle and be able to scrap together half a whole clue lol.

i did a little bit of speculation around the BOL and saraqael, especially in relation to the trial scene, a while ago - it's probably in my #book of life and #saraqael meta tags, if you wanted a peruse!!! but the batshit thought essentially was: what saraqael has access to, in that scene, was the BOL, and she operates it on behalf of metatron... and did during the fall, too. i did read it but i'm kinda forgetting the details now so i'll have another look. saraqael is very intriguing and i can't decide whether they're secretly working directly for the metatron or have their own personal secret agenda that's not aligned with heaven - or both. especially if the former were true i don't think it's actually such a batshit thought that they might be the one to operate the book of life? also if we look at the stuff that's happened in canon i'm not sure any of our theories have yet been near unhinged enough. would that mean though that gabriel would have fallen if his punishment had been carried out and that heaven doesn't know how the book works, that the book is multipurpose or that the book was used in conjunction with whatever was done to make the fallen fall? tbh i still haven't even figured out whether gabriel lost his memory because he removed it into the fly or whether the fly was just backup and he lost it because saraqael carried out the wipe. *head in hands* i hate the book of life.

i just find them way more interesting and compelling in a character than the good ones!!! very true that. there's a lot more to say about the 'mostly' than the 'good person' part of 'well he's mostly a good person' isn't there? also phew glad that didn't come across wrong.

and just to clarify - it wasn't my mum, unfortunately!!! ack! my bad. oh well then i guess i just hijacked someone else's mum's theory.

hope that's okay!!! it's great! long winded 'scribble pad' rambles make for excellent reading imo.

however, i think that removes, as we've batted back and forth already and in the bit above, a little bit of agency on AWCW's part. i don't think AWCW chose to fall, of course, but i do think that he asked questions/made decisions, and followed through on them/stood by them, that resulted in his becoming a demon, regardless of whether he fell or was pushed yeah you might be right. takes away too much accountability perhaps? i don't think he was precisely at fault, at least not much, but he was responsible in a way he seems to struggle to face. i've discussed why i think he does and i do greatly empathise with him for that but it's still an issue so taking that away might get a bit too. hmm. characterisation retconny?

so i think that's where, personally, i simply do think that he just didn't get any answers at all this. however writing out that bit in my 'what if he fought for heaven' speculation has made me wonder if that might not also apply for the questions. if they felt so threatened by the questioning that he had to fall for it would he really be allowed to remember what it was he asked? seems like leaving a loose end lying around to me and i don't see heaven doing that. he might not have gotten any answers but if they let him keep the questions there's no guarantee he won't eventually deduce the approximate shape of the answer - looking where the furniture isn't - from whatever knowledge he does have, whatever knowledge he doesn't plus the metatron's/archangels' reaction(s) back when he first started asking. i think the questions alone without any answers could still be more than risky enough to warrant wiping them from his mind. just in case.

because the idea that he could have been scapegoated by his own 'friends' still stands, imo yeah that's pretty much compatible with any theory. also an extremely painful thought. (*points again at that one liked by neil post about what happened to make crowley stop being friends with the other fallen to make it even worse*) as i've said before i feel like something like this could very well be why crowley feels the need to externalise all blame and responsibility for his own fall. because if he's being blamed for inciting the rebellion - it'd hurt more if his supposed friends did it but the concept still applies if it was heaven doing the scapegoating, in my mind - he's not just responsible for everyone else's fall too but for the very concept and existence of hell. yowch.

well, what if that was what was meant to happen to crowley??? same as muriel (we speculate), and same as gabriel, he was initially intended to fall but to a lower rank, with no memories, and instead he legged it? like gabriel did? immediately i can think of multiple reasons as to why i don't think this was the case, but... still interesting to think about. agreed that i don't think this happened: for one why would legging it lead to crowley becoming a demon? that being said also agreed that it's very interesting indeed. if we assume that this was always something heaven could do and not a new development then they would have had that option available to them for dealing with crowley and for some reason decided against it. why?

but let me begin with, pure hypothesis, a rough sequence of events re: the fall: my personal hypothesis would include that i don't think awcw fought - which makes me wonder whether he might have been doing something else relevant during the time - and that somewhere in the questions that led to him getting swept along by lucifer's gang were one or two that would have led to problems had they been answered that caused the metatron to single him out. beyond those expansions i wholeheartedly agree with what you've laid out. exact events of course subject to change depending on the practical aspects of falling but that doesn't really affect things much.

lucifer implicates AWCW for leading him astray, that he was the one asking questions, and now lucifer has been corrupted or something, idk, but metatron decides all of them need to go - and yet perhaps a particularly harsh punishment is in fact due for AWCW hmmm. so my first thought when i started going through your scapgoat tag was that it was heaven blaming crowley/making him blame himself. then you came and said it was the other rebels who were doing the blaming. so now i'm wondering whether it might not have been a joint effort? heaven and (not quite yet) hell collaborating to (attempt to) ruin someone's life would be very in keeping with the show after all. the rebels try to exonerate themselves by pinning the blame on awcw. the metatron needed to do something about him and his 'damn fool questions' with which he was endangering heaven anyway. this is not just the perfect excuse to eliminate him as a threat and the perfect way to ensure he won't realise what really happened. making him bear the weight of all of this is also an excellent way to punish him for going looking for answers the metatron doesn't want him to have. so when the rebels start trying to exonerate themselves the metatron jumps on the opportunity and it becomes an unoffical collaboration to assign to him and make him believe this narrative. maybe his questioning did kickstart it - but having now thought about it longer i'm not so sure it did. from what he says it sounds to me more like lucifer and co approached him when they had already gotten started likely because they knew about his questioning and so he'd go along with their cause - but i'm not sure it really matters anyway. even if he had been the first to question the war still wouldn't really be his doing and i don't think that's the primary motivation behind the metatron's or lucifer and co's behaviour towards him (if all this is actually what happened) and besides. what actually happened is, i would say, less important than what he believes to have happened. hence 'assigning' the narrative. it's not actually all his fault but between the memory wipe and what everyone else is suddenly claiming he ends up thinking that - due to a joint effort to blame/incriminate him from both of the sides.

so yeah, actually, perhaps it is only crowley that doesnt fully remember heaven? that was his own personal punishment, to not remember parts of his time in heaven/the fall? well i think it's pretty obvious by now that i favour this theory lol. i get major 'this is personal' vibes from the metatron towards crowley in the final fifteen which leads me to believe awcw was somehow for some reason singled out by him. so it would make sense to me if he was also singled out in terms of having his memory wiped especially since we don't seem to get any indicators that other demons can't remember. i think it might be as much a security measure as a punishment. both in terms of erasing whatever he was asking that was coming too close to some secret or other and in terms of hopefully he'll be burned so badly he won't question things ever again and heaven's/metatron's secrets are safe. (aside: and as a punishment it's truly horrifying if you think about it. especially since - going from the whole 'i know' conversation with gabriel - he knows that stuff was taken from him and he's hurt himself in the process of remembering and he knows he's still missing things but he doesn't know how much he's missing or how significant those things might be.) hang on. the line that just keeps on giving: if it happens twice it's an institutional problem. there can only be one demon who warranted extra punishment and/or extra precautions because otherwise there's a deeper issue which there isn't? (you know after all this there better be some kind of twist or backstory to the fall. can you imagine if we'd spent all this time theorising only for it to turn out that there was in fact nothing more to it? i'd be so frustrated lol.)

the thing is... in leviticus, there were two goats - sacrificial goat, and the scapegoat. so this is where, i - in equal conviction which is, to say, shaky at best - also personally hold the thought that AWCW might never have been the scapegoat, and instead aziraphale* potentially was - leaving AWCW to be the sacrificial. on the one hand yes on the other hand not really sure how that would work. like i can follow the allegory but i'm not sure how that would map onto the story? i am very fond of the idea of juxtaposing aziraphale and crowley - wait a moment. absolutely wild thought bear with me. so if we go with awcw fought for heaven for a moment again, what if aziraphale fought for hell but then he doesn't fall and instead awcw does? do i think this has any chance of having been what happened? no. do i know where i'm going with this? certainly not. did i need to have said it regardless? yes.

and the fact he wears his on his opposite hand to the others, and constantly covers it, feels very indicative of some unseen backstory sign me up for mysterious unseen backstories! but archangel aziraphale really doesn't sit right with me. i'm sure i could go looking for proper points to make if you want but it just feels wrong to me somehow.

it also feels that him being on earth is an ostracism, a roundabout punishment by way of being cast out but not falling... possible. the higher-ranked angels, the ones who'd be assigning posts, don't seem to think much of earth. (neither do the demons for that matter. although that's neither here nor there for this particular point it might be of interest to be examined separately on a different occasion.) i'd probably have said it was the other way around though: the ostracism came as a consequence of his time on earth and the morals and behaviours he developed there - the former causing him to withdraw from the other angels and the latter leading to the other angels shunning/looking down on him - as well as the inherent isolation of the post in a system that seems to be geared towards isolating its angel from each other already anyway.

so what other reason could it have been? well, the only plausible reason i can think of is that it's because he didn't smite crawley when given the opportunity on the wall hmm. maybe the whole not smiting bit orrrrrr he did say he was 'technically on apple tree duty'. maybe we just need to bend scripture a bit so that he was meant to be guarding the tree after all? if he gave away his sword immediately upon arrival how would crowley have seen it? but now that you mention it that's actually a very good question because it wasn't the sword.

others have debated whether or not it was aziraphale telling AWCW about the stars that led to AWCW's fall, and perhaps in point of fact it was... this to me is a character note and not a plot one. no one else would have known and awcw would have ended up asking questions eventually anyway so it has next to no bearing on the sequence of events. characterisation though. how likely is it that aziraphale still feels guilty for the role he sees himself as having played in crowley's fall? because that could inform quite strongly indeed on what we see in modern times.

i realise how ridiculous it all sounds i don't think it does though? the allegorical/metaphorical principles of the idea seem solid if you ask me. just need to find a way to translate it into the narrative.

a final remark: i saw a gifset this morning pointing out all the times crowley addresses or calls on god. it seems an unusual thing for a demon to do and i thought it was just a characterisation thing. but being reminded of it while i was working on fall theories has got me thinking: what if this does somehow connect to the circumstances of his fall? i don't know how and it didn't really fit into any of the rest of this analysis but it's a thought and one that wasn't really letting me go so here it is. maybe you'll be able to do more with it. 🦭

🦭 anon my darling, hello again!!!💕 not at all bothered by long asks, me - i do sometimes however have to find the right mood to be able to respond to them, so once again im sorry for how long it's taken me to get to this!!!✨

i think aziraphale makes decisions does sometimes come down to more than morality - on occasion, it seems to also come down to pragmatism, logic, and a little bit of 'all other options have failed' mentality. case in point for me is the antichrist; he is obviously against killing the child, doesn't want to do it, and tries to exhaust all other avenues before attempting to go through with it. crowley pressures him at the airfield, and because aziraphale's tried every other option he can think of, including trying to reach the almighty directly, i think this is where he succumbs to this being the last resort as he sees it. madame tracy comes in with her moral absolute - you can't just shoot children - and that's what stops the deed dead in its tracks... not aziraphale's sense of right and wrong. he eve initially n hesitates, "perhaps we should wait?", but crowley pushes, and his hand is essentially forced - he, at this point, doesn't see another option. nonetheless, it was his choice to do so, a choice he still will have had a moral stance on, and the potential consequences of which he has/would have had to sit with. yes, he was obviously under extraordinary pressure, but that doesn't necessarily absolve him of accountability.

this is where i wonder where the metatron's rationale will differ; does he have a developed moral identity, so to speak? or, because he is the voice of god (believing as the source of all good), and presumably knows no different, does he think that everything he does is good? he says he's ingested things in his time - suggesting he's been on earth - but has he been on earth long enough to have the same moral comprehension that aziraphale and crowley do? arguably, i think not. that being said, it doesn't mean that he doesnt have free will; more that his free will is to carry out what he considers to be the good, right thing - even if from crowley and aziraphale's, as well as the audience's, perspective, his deeds are considered morally wrong. he doesn't lack agency, but his agency - and moral identity - is, to my mind, woefully misinformed.

a key aspect of the metatron's personality, for me, is summed up in how he addresses muriel, calling them "dim". how far does he actually realise that this is - in fact - a horrible thing to say? how much are angels actually meant to feel - and therefore is there any concept that hurting someone's feelings is wrong? does he think that he's just being factual, because muriel presents as ingenuous and naive, and metatron considers that synonymous with a lack of intelligence? let me be clear - im not condoning this at all, but merely entertaining the possibility that being sequestered in heaven, with no exposure to humanity or moral complexity, leads you to believe that whatever variables you've been exposed to forms your entire sense of self, of thinking, and thereby forms an unconsciously biased moral code. you still act according to that code - exhibiting your agency (ie. metatron is not being controlled or heavily manipulated by someone else) - but who has been around to teach him a different way? god, by all accounts, certainly hasnt.

(this makes me sound like a metatron apologist which... yikes. but also - if the above is the 'correct' way to think about it... maybe? idk)

moving onto the BOL, and saraqael. so, i think the concept of falling might have been... reimagined since The fall. if we follow the theory i laid out in that post, and the ones that followed (here and here) (for anyone else that wants to read them!), saraqael has been operating it, and was set to make gabriel 'fall' by wiping his memory and demoting him to - what we could surmise - is a bottom-of-the-barrel rank. saraqael seems to have a fondness, or at least a more meaningful connection than we're led to believe - with muriel, which makes me think that saraqael might have been following the metatron's orders, but protecting those that 'fall' within her chain of command. maybe they even suggested it to the metatron, citing that losing more angels to hell is strategically ill-advised (especially if they're powerful or influential ones like gabriel). and they seem to have kept an eye on crowley, which makes me wonder how much they may have come to regret their part in the fall; again, development of moral complexity/identity. im fairly certain though that gabriel thwarted the process by transferring his memory into the fly; saraqael couldn't find him in 'the system', which makes me think that he essentially erased himself from the BOL, and therefore saraqael/metatron couldnt erase him themselves. so, not quite falling, and certainly not to hell, but inadvertently exploiting the loophole. BOL is one of my favourite mysteries in s2, i love it!!!💕

re: crowley, asking questions, and memory. now that i think on it more... idk if its about the question. if we follow that he was asking questions in the pre-fall scene about collaboration and "if i were the one running things", it sounds like AWCW was about to stage a coup, which... hm. i don't think that's the case. but take into consideration his cited associations with lucifer and the guys - that might be where they ended up going wrong. but for AWCW? i think it's the fact that his fall may have been in part because he was, simply put, asking questions. not the question itself, but that his conscience, his psyche, was questioning things generally. that he was developing free will, and essentially may have led others to do the same. he may have asked things like "what is the point?", or "why are we doing this?", but i think it's the fact that he's questioning anything in the first place that is the threat.

and the memory wipe of this makes sense, given how he presents on the wall - still very innocent, naive - because it would prevent him from upsetting the status quo... and yet, on the wall, he's still asking questions. his first thought at "go up there and make some trouble" is to tempt eve to knowledge, to free will. he's so intrinsically representative of free will, of choice (for good or bad), that the two things cannot be separated. so yeah, im now a bit hesitant as to whether it's to do with any specific knowledge crowley acquired, but more that he thought to ask for it in the first place - and got blamed for the whole sorry mess because of this. as for aziraphale prompting it all, with telling AWCW about the stars, completely agree - regardless, it is unlikely to have any major bearing on the plot as it currently stands, but still interesting to think that he may have been the one to directly influence AWCW towards free will - that what he told him, somewhat accidentally, literally birthed a major tenet of crowley's character and purpose in the narrative.

aziraphale and scapegoating: yeah, im with you on this - on reflection, im not convinced that he was scapegoated for anything during the fall. i do think he was involved (insert the ever evolving idea that aziraphale may have been an archangel (which i realise youve noted as not being one you jam with, fair!!!) and was the one to declare the war), but i think where aziraphale is going to come into play re: mirroring AWCW is with the second coming. there was a brilliant ask, from @crowleykinning, that i totally forgot about until recently - and this is where i think aziraphale might be posed as a scapegoat himself. im not sure on how i feel about aziraphale fighting for hell - but i do wonder, and spitballing Once Again here, that he may have tried to smuggle AWCW out of heaven... couldnt bring himself to cut AWCW down, and instead, like, smuggled him down the back stairwell to hell ("sauntered vaguely downwards"). idk - an errant thought, and possibly just one for fanfic. as for your point on the ostracism and punished by being sent to earth - yeah, possibly!!! idk, i guess i just like the poetry of aziraphale making his own vague, downwards saunter himself.

re "apple tree duty": bloody good point, forgot about that line!!!✨ and plus crowley knowing he had a sword to give away - absolutely spot on, another very good point. hmm... further thinking required, but yeah - think im arriving at the same conclusion of scripture not being followed as verbatim. but yeah, still don't think the demotion could have had anything to do with the sword - more likely to do with allowing the serpent in/allowing humanity to fall, and/or not smiting said serpent at first opportunity.

re crowley beseeching to god: i wrote a little silly thing on crowley and faith in god, which to me kind of sums it up, and i think it's one of the main clues that god may not have had anything to do with the fall. why would you pray to a god that did that to you? id personally think that crowley would be more bitter and resentful, but it seems like he still looks to god in moments of struggle, still incites her name when faced with losing aziraphale to heaven. i don't think he ever lost faith in her, despite how he comes across in the job minisode when he was much 'younger', and instead just wants to understand why she let it happen... possibly not realising that he may have been the first to follow her ineffable plan, not realising it at the time (or since)?✨

#good omens #ask #s2 meta #the fall/the great war spec #AWCW spec #pre-fall aziraphale spec #scapegoat theory #memory wipe theory #metatron spec #book of life theory

[againtodreaming]

heyy, for the weirder ask game :3

how do you take your coffee?

what type of person are you?

what kind of day is it?

Thank you so much, Johnny!! <333

so this is really late and answers under the cut bc it turned out so long, sorry!!

Complicated answer bc I actually don't really drink coffee? Ashdjdksj. Like, putting aside the fact that I need to do a special diet due to a disease and the special diet prohibits coffee, I never really liked coffee, too bitter for me (^◇^；). But, I do drink it sometimes when I need to stay awake really late to do homework/study (which technically breaks my diet but I can technically break it once a month plus, emergency situation). Those times I drink it with coconut milk, either coconut/maple/agave syrup or coconut sugar (small amount bc I don't like it when drinks are too sweet), and vanilla.

Type of person...hmm...I'm a human person? Wait, let me think...((went to ask some of my siblings this for some inspiration, one said that i'm "boring (not my fault none of my siblings like to read 🙄), overthinks every little thing all the time (unfortunately true, although during the last year I've just started to being really direct and open to try to avoid spiraling too much), and passionate (she was clearly refraining from bringing up all the times i have annoyed her by talking non-stop about whatever fandom i'm obsessed at the moment or about my wips asdfghj) (she also added later "sighs a lot" which like?!? she's the one who delights on annoying me?!? on purpose!?!) " another one just agreed with boring and then said smth i'm still trying to figure out bc she refused to elaborate so now i'm really confused, and another one just said "you are a Mila" which, okay, at least that answer had more originality than the 2nd one lol))...this is why typology is useful lmao. Okay!! ...this is getting too long ay, sorry, finishing this, I would say I'm trying to go back to being a person after becoming a complete disaster and just not living at all except inside my head basically all my teenage years (which coincided with moving countries, yippee/s) (the moving countries thing was actually the main factor why i was too overwhelmed and other stuff to be able to deal with real life at all lol) (don't get me wrong, i'm really grateful for the moving countries thing, it was just really tough and still dealing with it). Always felt like I didn't fit in during my whole childhood (i did have a good group of friends tho) and that feeling just got super amplified after moving countries lol. All my old friends have remarked that I tend to be really quiet and shy at first (was literally the quietest in class, even the other shy girls opened up by the end of primary school) but after we have known each other for a while, I become super talkative (...I also tend to talk really fast asdfghj, so many amazed comments or complains or pls could u slow down's 😅) (i don't really notice when i go fast unless i've taken coffee bc then, i do go SUPER fast and i have no idea how to slow down) (if possible, i tend to speed up any video I'm watching to 1.5x or 1.75 or 2.0x) (my sister complains that i'm messing up the songs by doing that lol) (...at this point, i feel like i need to add that i'm also the type of person who doesn't know how to get to the point fast and just goes in a huge messy doodle of a labyrinth as a road to get to the point and the journey is usually necessary to my efforts to illustrate the point bc if not, smth would feel like it's missing ig?? i have no idea how to articulate myself fast and concise anyway, so envious of the people who can, so apologies for the huge paragraph asdfghj) (i either talk too little or too much, have tried somewhere to fall somewhere in between but just didn't work, felt too edited and not genuine)

What kind of day it is…I don't know if you have ever tried to surf, I never really learned learned, but my dad did try to teach me a little of it one summer in Peru (with the small waves and a small swimming board), and it was a lot of try and fail and whenever we did it wrong, the wave would yank you and you needed to hold your breath and like, protect yourself ofc, but you also needed to just surrender to the force of the wave and let yourself being spun around until you were close enough to the most shallow part with sand and only then, you were able to force yourself to a stop and stand up. So yeah, that feeling of being dragged underneath the water, where everything feels so fast but slow and blurry and blue and out of your control but the world keeps moving, spinning, pushing you forward, and really, you just need to let the wave finish its course before you are back to the surface where everything feels more real-crisp-sunlight bright and you are finally able to pause long enough to catch your breath…it's sort of like that this week. The wave will pass though.

#asks #mila habla

[glockawood]

{{ Because he doesn't have a main blog all my headcanon stuff has to go here and I can't resist rambling about a muse eventually its half the reason I ever even make an rp blog at all lmao

Some basic things:

This Wesker & Scarface's voice are the one from BTAS. I originally was compelled to make this blog at all because of rewatching that series and I really liked his weird, slowed down cadence ( or, monotone-ish? idk, he speaks... Off ). I loved the way it resembled the dummies from the old Twilight Zone episodes. That's why I write him laughing like " Ha. Ha. Ha. " Except when he's human, then you'll notice his laughter becomes natural and boisterous.

Wesker looks like he most commonly looks, mousy old man, so more thin and tall than the pinned post, but Scarface looks like the picture on the pinned post, with the blue pinstripe and longer face. Why that one? I don't even know what comic that is but I just thought his outfit was cute ngl lmao.

In the Arkhamverse Scarface is a lot more run down and ramshackle looking, so to match that this Scarface may have the above mentioned design but he's still clearly extremely old and ragged, just with signs that he's been repaired and updated multiple times. Wesker redesigned him after the events of Arkham City after getting him back, let's say.

Fun fact though, it's also stated in Arkham: Asylum that Wesker is allowed to keep his puppet at all times so that their behavior together can be studied, since the alleged "Scarface persona" does not ever seem to show itself without the physical puppet being there, leaving Wesker to behave as though he's supposedly without the need for treatment other than his insistence that Scarface is alive and his anxiety.

That's also why I once mentioned Scarface has a tiny prison jumpsuit lol.

Scarface's puppet is extremely complicated, including moving and closing eyes, bending fingers, and a special switch slot in his right hand so he can pull the trigger on a fully functional little tommy gun. ( this character is so ridiculous have you noticed-- ) He's so articulate and Wesker is such a good puppeteer that when he moves he looks eerily alive.

If you ask for Wesker late at night, you can sometimes talk to him without Scarface, because occasionally he's been put to bed.

Do Not necessarily trust what either character says is true about who and what they are. Just because Scarface says he's the living manifestation of a Blackgate gallows tree does not mean he is. Just because Arnold says the death of his wife was an accident doesn't mean it was either. Is Scarface a haunted dummy made from the wood that once housed the souls of a thousand of the world's most deadly and nefarious criminals who just happened to latch onto an innocent man misplaced in prison, or is he the alter ego of a deeply violent but delusional man in perpetual denial, so unwilling to face the reality of his own actions that he projects his every flaw outside himself, even if it means forever being bullied by his own cruelty? Is it some strange combination of the two? Who knows.

When Scarface or Wesker are made to tell the truth, even through anon magic, they will always tells what they believe is the truth. If for whatever reason I write Arnold while he's certified sane, sometimes he'll even say he was wrong and Scarface is just a delusion. That doesn't mean they're telling what really is true, however. You should take everything the two say regarding themselves with a pile of salt. }}

#ooc

[bigskydreaming]

Hi! I was reading a fanfic and it brought up Roy and Dick's fight, which I see a lot of in fics but never what they fought about and consequently why they don't talk. I thought it was a vague excuse/reason why Roy was Jason's friend not Dick's anymore but this fic brought up when Dick was batman so I was wondering if there was actually a fight between them? Btw I really enjoy your metas! They're v thought out and well articulated. Also it's v easy to separate what's your opinion and what's fact which is. Very helpful for me

Yeah this is one hundred percent a fanon thing that's kept deliberately vague to justify why Roy in his friendship with Jason seems to have no positive thoughts or concerns about Dick whatsoever. Now granted, Dick and Roy are not nearly as close in the New 52 as they were pre-Reboot. The lack of their friendship there is definitely one of the things I disliked most about the Reboot - and I actually don't care if Jason and Roy are friends tbh, its the total erasure of his history with Dick as if he can't be friends with both, that like, bugs most.

But so like, yeah, Roy and Dick aren't super close when they interact on the Titans in the New 52, but there's literally nothing in any of their interactions that explains the complete absence of him from Roy's life or a reason that Roy would like, hate him the way he tends to in a lot of Jason-centric fics.

When you factor in pre-Reboot stuff though, it starts to get a LOT more.....uh wyd? And this is why I have trouble buying that people just write Roy and Jason the way they do because its the only thing they know from recent comics. Like one, most fans talk about how they don't even read the source comics, so there's no reason their knowledge of the characters or events would be limited to just recent comics if they're going off wiki summaries and scans anyway. And second, most fans AREN'T limited in their knowledge to just recent comics.

Like, the second people start writing Roy and Jason and Kori but with their pre-52 characterizations and references to events from THAT timeline, it all gets very messy, the way they're like, completely antagonistic towards Dick a lot of the time. Because Roy and Dick were always solid. Yes, they fought. A lot. But they always, ALWAYS made up afterwards. They had conflict about Roy's drug addiction - it didn't stop Dick from being there to support him through rehab, or Dick being the first person Roy called to help him get Lian after he learned of her existence. Dick literally held Lian before Roy ever did? He's the one who first put her in Roy's arms for the first time.

(Which is the prime grudge I and most Dick Grayson fans have about Roy and Jason fics which make Jason like, the absolute apple of Lian's eye. If you want to expand Lian's circle of loved and trusted ones to include Jason as Roy's friend and thus her uncle, like go for it! But there's zero reason that should require invalidating and erasing the fact that Dick was this little girl's adored godfather and uncle for pretty much her entire life. And the way Dick is just shoved offstage from Lian's life entirely, to slot Jason into his place as though they're completely interchangeable, its like....THAT'S the kind of thing that gets people irey about how Jason 'steals' Dick's dynamics and character relationships.

Because there's nothing saying they both can't be major players in Roy and Lian's lives! But just that they're not interchangeable! You need to develop the specific role Jason plays there WITHOUT just overwriting everything Dick actually did in relation to the two of them pre-Flashpoint, which is what you're drawing from the second you write Lian, unless you're specifically going with the few appearances we've had of her within literally just the last year.

But I mean, when people just search and replace Dick Grayson in all Roy and Lian's pre-Reboot stories and act like Jason was the one doing all of that instead.....why wouldn't fans of the source material be annoyed by a character getting credit for interactions and things done for Lian and Roy that Jason literally NEVER DID, while at the EXACT SAME TIME, conjuring some mysterious, unnamed 'Falling Out' that Roy and Dick had, that was clearly all Dick's fault, and resulted from him being basically excised entirely from Roy and Lian's lives?

Same with Kori, for the record, and like despite being Dick's ex, she and Dick have NEVER been like, estranged? She and Dick have often been close even after their breakup. None of it makes any sense, and the fact that a lot of fans don't even try to make it make sense or justify it, and expect other fans to just be fine with settling for an inexplicable reversal of Dick's every actual dynamic with these characters while setting up Jason to occupy the exact same role Dick played in these other characters' lives, like.....lol. Its fun.)

Anyway, back to your question, like, there are fights you can go with pre-Reboot as the source of various conflicts between Dick and Roy - but again, I maintain its just as crucial that they're always written as getting past them. They have a very tempestuous relationship because they are the two people MOST likely to call each other on their shit, two of the two people WITH the most shit in common due to the parallels in their childhoods and the roles they've occupied in the Titans and the superhero community in general, and the two people most resistant to being called out on their shit by each other, lol. Mostly in that case because like, they do recognize that they have a lot in common and understand each other very well, so the second the other is calling them out for something, they're usually like "ugh, if HE'S saying this, its probably true and I am just not prepared yet to be wrong about this. I need more time being unjustifiably rawr about things." Its like that thing where they both look at each other doing something that feels familiar or calls back to their own reasons for doing something and they're like ugh I'm in this picture and I don't like it.

So they clash. A lot. But always with the implicit bedrock of like, there's nothing either of them can do or say to the other that will push the other away for good.

They fought over Roy replacing Dick as leader of the Titans when Dick's wedding fell apart, even though Roy actually didn't want to do it and was kinda pushed into it by the government, but again, Dick like, got over it and realized it was for the best and forgave Roy for it that very same issue. And on and on. It always went like that. So there's plenty of stuff that can be used or pointed at as a source of conflict between the two, but the part I'll always call unbelievable is the idea that they never make up after one of these fights. Why now? What fight, specifically, is so bad between them that despite everything else they've gone through AND gotten past, they can't get past this one? Y'know?

So yeah, that's my take on this. There is no definitive falling out between Dick and Roy as many fics like to point to in order to shove him offscreen and make room for Jason in Roy and Lian's lives, and personally, I just don't find it necessary and I actually think it makes Roy look REALLY bad. Because when you're not specifically detailing all the things that Dick has actually DONE for Roy, the lengths to which he's been there for his friend, and like, specifically invalidating each and every one of them as something that never happened in a particular fic, then literally anyone who reads that fic and has their own awareness of Dick and Roy's friendship is kiiiiiinda likely to be reading that and thinking wow what an ungrateful asshole, when Roy's just written as bitching about Dick with Jason and sandbagging him without any real explanation as to WHY, beyond just 'oh they had a fight years ago.'

(And coming up with some random awful thing that Dick did to justify Roy hating him now isn't like, a superior alternative, lmao, because again, its still just trashing one character for the sake of getting him out of the way of two other characters' friendship and people are going to think what they think about that).

Anyway, my now standard stock disclaimer that like, there doesn't actually need to be a canon fight obviously, for people to just write things this way and handwave that Dick and Roy had an epic falling out years ago and now they just hate one another or whatever, or just Roy hates him or vice versa. Obviously people are free to do what they want. They don't need a reason other than "I want to write it this way so Jason and Roy are friends and Jason doesn't have to 'share' him with Dick or have his friendship be overshadowed by their greater history together." That just happens to be a reason that no Dick Grayson fan is ever really going to be happy about, lol, for what should be perfectly obvious reasons, so it honestly shouldn't be surprising to people that fans of the source material often gripe about it.

Because yeah fanfic is a tremendous opportunity to transform the source material into something better, but if what's better for some fans actively takes away what was working perfectly well for other fans the original way, they're going to say that. Especially in a fandom where so many new fans take their view of the characters and their dynamics from fics rather than the source material - when fandom has that much of an influence on what new fans perceive to be 'canon,' fans are perfectly within their right to emphasize what is ACTUALLY canon and what isn't, so that new fans at least have the opportunity to determine for themselves what take they want to go with, instead of just accepting at face value that the nature of say, Dick and Roy's relationship is just that Roy hates Dick because of some mumble mumble ancient history vague mumble details not found mumble mumble fight.

[seenery]

My astro chart notes (The 3rd house)

°°°°°°°°°°

3H in Pisces ♓

I have no planets in this house but with Pisces in here, it says a lot (the influence of Neptune). I've noticed that I can confuse people just by talking. I like abstract ideas. I could vividly picture them in my head. It's consistent with what the Internet says about being imaginative and all to the point of being too daydreamy. The thrill lies in open-endedness.

The cost would be not being particular to details. This is to my detriment especially in university where there is need to have a clear cut understanding of a material for a certain amount of time (e.g., homework deadlines). In my case, I need to take some time before I grasp the material. Don't get me wrong, I can deal with details. I just want to do things in my pace. Just like how you look at paintings in the museum. I want to be able to think deeply about its many facets and/or how it resonates with me.

But in my situation, I am forced to fasten up the process which ultimately burns me out. Imagine reading up a lot of materials from the get go and then instructors would expect you to have a deep understanding of a topic. It's probably one of the reasons why some get discouraged to attend school. They have assumptions which aren't pro-student (which they thought they are). Anyway, that's beside the point.

In the communication aspect, my emotions could get the best of me. Remember when I said I have a Mercury in Gemini (which is in the 6th house) and I tend to overthink and be a nervous wreck? Yep, I sometimes fail to articulate. I would rather write my thoughts down (as I have a lot going on). Unfortunately, not all circumstances would allow it, so I have to really work on being able to express myself clearly. I want people to understand where I'm coming from. Though, it's hard living in a world with a tendency of singling out people just because they're cut from a different cloth. This is why I'm wary about the type of people I'm surrounding myself with. How else could I speak my truth?

And I don't know about liking water travel stuff. I remember being on a boat with my family during this vacation at the beach, and I swear I can feel myself sweating just seeing the water lapping and smelling the sea breeze. Thoughts of drowning would take over too, so no. I like the swimming pool though, if that counts lol. Nonetheless, anything related to travelling excites me, just ask my mom.

To sum up this placement, I guess in order to achieve success (in its many forms) in my chosen field, I have to stay curious and use whatever given talent I have to put the effort in really going down the rabbit hole to be presented with a world of countless opportunities. Only I have the power to manifest what I want. Nobody could take that away from me.

••••••••••

:D

#astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astro observations #3rd house #pisces

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅🥲, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

#answered #a-girl-with-a-ponytail #rinharu #harurin #free! the final stroke #free! #free #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase

[daydreamed-snippets]

hello! i absolutely adored your addition to gingerly’s prompt ask :) i was wondering if you could continue it, and no worries if you can’t! thanks <3

I realize the more I write this the longer it’s getting. I probably have imagined six parts or more???? I have other WIPs that need attention, but I am so, so, so, so thankful that you like the first part of my prompt response to @gingerly-writing I’m going to post this and then part 3 hopefully tomorrow 👀 👀 👀 👀Maybe??? then take a small break to post some other stuff. Lol this is a continuation I didn’t really plan for, but am definitely excited about!!

@chibicelloking @lolafaiy

Part One Here

A dull thrum of voices stirred sidekick out of surly drowsiness. The articulation of words was muddied, coming across as garble before snapping into clarity the more they roused. There was “monitor vitals”, “recommended range”, “even by a fraction” that registered in the back of their mind. Teammates must be running some tests again.

But they couldn’t move. Not a muscle. They weren’t paralyzed, they were just restrained. Which was odd because that wasn’t—

They felt the string back around their neck again. That feeling of dread rustled, usually abating when they returned to headquarters and the familiarity of their bunk. Memories came no longer concealed by lethargy. Of the teammates being pinned down by supervillain. Of their oh-so-brave self-sacrifice. Of teammates using The Machine to pry open a portal. Of sidekick losing consciousness in supervillain’s arms. 

Sidekick held their breath, letting out a quiet moan. It didn’t work, did it? Teammates didn’t make it to that sewer way after supervillain choked them into unconsciousness. And if they did, they were unable to save sidekick. They were captured.

So what now? 

Policy would have them stay mute. To be uncooperative. To trumpet bravado and bare their teeth. 

Policy would have their self-sacrifice complete its course to martyrdom. 

Feeling their sinew stretch to uncomfortable lengths, the sidekick’s mind fortified itself, resolved to do their due diligence. They could die for the cause. They were trained to do so. Engrained by doctrine, encouraged parables of valor, and promises of glory. They weren’t a hero, yes, but they’d surely get a hero’s burial. A hero’s honor, and admittance to the halls of the nobly fallen. After all, it was promised to those slain for the cause. 

Noting how their wrists were held high above their head and were bound together, sidekick tensed their muscles against the wire to test how well it held their arms, chest, hips, and legs still. They were hanging in midair, everything was drawn taut, everything perfectly balanced so that the threads bowed them back like a rag doll on display; fraying and terribly exposed. 

At least it didn’t cut their skin this time.

The easy solution: they could mount a daring escape by making a portal around themselves. No on second thought due to calculation risks, they could make approximately 47 mini portals, severing the strings. Then once they got a better gauge of the room, they could make one large enough for them to drop through. They doubted they would be able to go far, maybe outside this room after they opened their eyes and calculated the circumference of it. Their weakness lies in the fact that not knowing where they were meant they were limited in where they could go. Power hinging on all of the maps in their head. If they could just see it on the map then they could calculate the needed trajectory and portal to it. 

But they had neither the time nor the luxury for that now.

Taking all 47 at a time, sidekick opened dime-size portals an inch above where the wires met their skin. Calculations playing in the background of their psyche. They had to be precise—they must have caution or risk searing flesh from bone. Wire fractured and cracked in midair, and sidekick dropped a small length, feet hitting the floor, knees buckling. 

They barely had a second to get up.

A shrill alarm, jarring, and ear-splitting sounded. 

Fire followed, blazing across their skin, only somehow from the inside radiating out, originating from their neck, and spiraling down. They writhed under the voltaic ministrations, convulsing until it ceased, finally falling limp.

Someone came to stand before them, and sidekick considered the familiar boots warily before flicking their gaze up, proximity kick-starting their heartbeat. And it ran wild. Supervillain settled before them, appearing polished, normal costume hidden under a button-up shirt loosely tucked into a pair of trousers. A light pea coat pulled the ensemble together. Their expression, however, looked like they were ready to pounce, eyes veiled behind a tight expression.

“Perfect. You’re awake.”

Should sidekick go for bravado, or would a more fearful submissive approach best serve them, now that their escape attempt has failed? Unsure, sidekick opted for a mix of both, figuring, at any rate, the body count associated with supervillain alone would suggest that they tread carefully. “Wh-what did you do to me? My teammates—”

“Your teammates don’t know where you are, and it’s going to stay that way for a while." They crouched agilely, a panther before a frightened yearling, tucking a finger under their chin to hold their complete attention. "I would advise against doing anything that would jeopardize your standing with me, puppy. Like trying to use your power to escape. I am not what one would call longsuffering. I may have shown you a smidgen of my mercy but don’t expect it to be par for the course." Supervillain motioned to the room with a nod. "If you’re wondering where you are, may I present to you my humble garrison. This is the medical wing, with medic and assistant behind me. We’ve removed the association’s tracking device, and replaced it with something far more fetching.”

Trailing a thumb down their neck, supervillain fiddled with the band around their throat, a neatly fitted collar. How did sidekick not notice that? It felt not much different from supervillain’s wires—something foreign and constricting. Ears burning, their face paled, sweat lining their brow. If this could get worse or more humiliating, they weren’t sure how. 

Threading a finger through the ring, supervillain wrenched sidekick off the ground, onto their hands and knees like a true dog. 

A strangled mewl tore from the sidekick’s throat. 

“You do get the gist of this, don’t you, darling? You’re a clever one. Make a portal without my direct order, and this device will give you an electric shock that will render you immobile at best, unconscious at worst.” Their shoulders lifted in a slight shrug. “And it hurts like hell, or so I’m told so that should be incentive enough.”

Oh no. 

This was worse. 

So much worse than anything sidekick had endured at the Hero’s Association. Ignoring their basic human needs, ok. They can handle that. Belittling them, playing passive-aggressive games? Cool, cool, cool, cool. The occasional punishment? Everyone endures the intermittent blow or two. Suck it up, sidekick. But humiliation like this? They wanted to crawl under a rock and never be seen again. 

“Y-you,” they stammered, dread churning, turning into something they hadn’t felt in a while. Rage. “You, you, you jerk!”

“You jerk?” supervillain echoed a deep chuckle. “Dear lord, you know you should be thanking me, my very young and inventive labradoodle. One, for not taking your life as I had wanted. Two, for not ringing out your delicate neck despite that little stunt just now. And, three for rescuing you from such neglectful owners—” 

“I will never thank you for that!”

Silence filled the room, allowing the mechanical hum of lab equipment to permeate. Medic and assistant tossed glances at each other over supervillain's shoulder, as a shadow passed over supervillain’s face. That thumb returned to sidekick’s lips, the latter’s breath catching at their misstep. “You said they.”

“W-what?”

“When you spoke about your teammates, and how they’ve been fighting me all of these years. You said they. Not we’ve been fighting, but they. You haven’t used a single possessive pronoun when speaking about the six of you—or anyone in the association for that matter.” 

No. No, sidekick didn’t mean it like that. They belonged. They were a team. They are a team.

“You keep them separate from yourself,” the supervillain continued, stoking their cheek absently. “Whether consciously or unconsciously, you do. From the short time I discovered that it was a person and not a machine behind the Hero’s Association’s success, I’ve learned this: your ideals are of self-immolation. You offer yourself up as a lamb for your teammate’s success; for the association’s success. You foolishly stare down your enemy in hopes for what? Recognition? Adoration? That’s clearly not working, is it? I simply called you a dazzling diamond in the ruff, and you flushed like someone newly in love.” That tone was back. A wanton timbre for power, and sidekick face colored on command. They brought their hand up to hide it. “Your actions are like a puppy: young and misguided. Training will fix it.”

Throwing them a salacious grin, supervillain called another thread to their hand and knotted it around sidekick's collar ring. Easing off of their haunches, they stood, the wire going slack. “I will delve into these mysteries soon enough. Just as you will come to discover, in due time, that you are much better off with me than against me.”

Sidekick blood boiled, finally at the tipping point. 

They saw red. 

Supervillain thought they knew them? Thought that they were such an open book? Palms fisting, sidekick wanted very much to strike out at the supervillain. To wipe that knowing looking off their face. A feat, they realized, that could accomplish with words. And something this time with more punch than ‘jerk’. Screaming, they let out an uncharacteristic string of curses; ones they’d heard in passing, ones that had even been directed at them. Being a human gateway didn’t afford them many friends their own age or otherwise, and the other heroes were quick to ruffle their hair, and blame them for mishaps than befriend them.

Supervillain didn’t move. Even to tighten the leash. 

But medic spoke out. 

“Eh, yo, villy, your puppy be barking at you. Want me to shut them up?” Their crisp white coat stood in neat contract to their rich skin; voice speaking of hardship and closely won battles. Finger hovering over their datapad.

“Give it a minute,” supervillain said, as sidekick let out one last cry, fists hitting the cold tile, utterly spent. They bent over, muscles quivering in release. “See, it wasn’t necessary, medic. This particular breed responds to a more patient touch.”

“All that patient touch and you gon’ be wondering why you got missing fingers. Look, I don’t know about pets, but, this seems real sus.”

“Good thing you’re not in charge of them.”

“I guess, tho, I just be saying,” they let out a sigh, shaking their head, returning their attention to a beeping screen. “You know how much I love them pathetic animals.” Medic shot a look at sidekick, as their eyes bounced between the two, mouthing I don’t, and slid their thumb across their neck when supervillain wasn’t looking. 

Sidekick almost whimpered. 

Supervillain flexed their hands, fingers gracefully dancing as wires loosened from the ceiling, fell in a heap on the ground then receded altogether, sheltering in the supervillain’s pea coat. Only the one wire connected to their collar remained visible, wrapping itself around the supervillain’s wrist that. Like a bracelet, they tucked it away in their sleeve, then opted to move rather than command sidekick to heel. 

Lurching forward, sidekick had no choice but to follow. 

#others prompts #continuation #sidekick #supervillain #part 3 soon

[jesusology]

having a hard time with Kazui, but I decided to go through his MV step-by-step and see where my thoughts lead me !! let’s gooooo

I think the green apple is an interesting choice. Normally, if you’re going for a “temptation” or “forbidden fruit” type of thing it’s going to be a red apple… because red represents passion, after all. But the green makes me think there’s some other reason for this.

Okay, so the apple is placed on a stage on a small table and there’s a spotlight over top of it. I feel like the apple is maybe meant to represent “temptation” but not in a “forbidden romance/adultery” type of way.

It could be symbolic of temptation in other aspects of life. Maybe he was wanting to leave his “ordinary, common” life and pursue things that are deemed unrealistic - especially for someone of his age, even though he’s really not that old.

Which, again, he brings up his age a lot. I guess you might feel self-conscious when surrounded by people younger than you but even so… he seems really hung up on his age and being an “old man”. He probably feels like it’s too late for someone like him to make a “big” change in his life and it’s easiest to just keep going as normal, pro status quo.

The color green can also mean something like “greed, envy, and life”. Wouldn’t even be surprised if all three of those potentials were meaningful in relation to Kazui.

I mention this in like every single one of my theories but again not everything here is literal. So what we’re seeing here, Kazui at the bar drinking with a woman other than his wife… it could mean something else entirely and not the obvious assumption of an affair.

A thought I just formed, but could that other image of Kazui at the bar with a different woman just be his imagination at work? He’s still sitting with his wife at home but he’s imagining that he’s out at some classy bar with a woman other than his wife. Maybe he wants something more glamorous, something other than this “plain” situation at home? Or maybe that woman is meant to represent something else entirely. A “dream”, a different life entirely.

Not sure if this is indicative of anything or even means anything, but there’s a pillow sort of wedged between them…

Maybe he never really wanted to be married but he felt like he had to because he really DOES love his wife and it’s just the natural course of things to get married. He had other things he wanted to do, but they ultimately never came to fruition because of the normal societal expectations. He’s hiding aspects of himself just to have that illusion of normality.

Just now noticed what looks like another figure in the distance sitting with him? Is that meant to be his wife? Is that also why he looks kind of surprised? The apple is between them, it’s sort of a divider.

His eye color…. Is so pretty….

He’s “playing a part” and so he’s seen in various costumes throughout the MV. Depending on the situation, he swaps his mask in order to appropriately fit in. It could be seen as living a lie, or it could be seen as a simple survival instinct. He sees no other way to live, because he doesn’t want to sadden/disappoint the people around him.

I’m not sure what his dreams could be or what he REALLY wants out of life, but either way, it clearly creates a rift.

Hmmm this line gives me pause. It makes it sound like part of the problem is his wife, as if she were maybe cheating or wanting to leave him? Or it could be that she disapproves of his “dreams”. Could also be that she’s suffering emotionally in this marriage and he doesn’t appear to take notice and this causes them to drift further from each other.

I wonder if the chair is meant to represent his wife in some way. I don’t really have any evidence for this, it’s just more of a feeling. What kind of uniform is that he’s wearing, anyhow? I feel like it’s possibly important...

A lot of Kazui’s theme has to do with “lies” and “hiding”. Does he feel like he’s living a lie in his common life? Is this because he wants to be something so much more, but he can’t because - to him - it’s almost as if his wife is the one holding him back? Again, I feel he truly does love her. But I feel as though their love has fizzled from something romantic (if there ever was romance) into something milder.

I wonder if he was starting to view her as more of a burden than a partner. He loves her, so he isn’t sure what to do. Leaving isn’t an option. So lying is all that’s left. He’s struggling with which he should listen to - his brain, or his heart.

He wears his wedding ring throughout the entirety of the MV which makes me think it probably isn’t an affair… I mean, if you’re going out to bars in the hopes of meeting someone new, you probably wouldn’t want to leave your wedding ring on.

A lot of distance here, clearly depicting how their marriage is just… silently falling apart.

I don’t think he’s referring to loving a person here. I feel like it’s more of a concept that he’s talking about, a dream. The dream here is being personified as a human woman, his mind is creating a scenario where his dream is essentially like “cheating” on his wife. This really feels like I’m pulling stuff out of my ass like I’m trying to make him seem less “bad” than he is, but I just. Really feel like we wouldn’t be getting this so straight-forwardly if it were an actual affair.

Also he’s still wearing his wedding ring here which again would make no sense to me if you were going to a bar trying to find other people.

There still seems to be some level of distance here. He doesn’t directly touch the woman’s shoulders and he doesn’t especially move in closer toward her. Again, his “dream” feels untouchable and like something he HAS to keep inside because if he does “touch” his dream then his life with his wife - no matter if he’s happy or not - will be shattered.

I feel like he’s talking about memories with his wife here. He might be recalling happier times and he wishes he could just banish those from his mind because it would make dealing with everything so much easier.

Here the both of them are, but the spotlight remains on the apple on the stage. His mind is elsewhere. He’s with his wife, a woman he loves, but he isn’t fully committing to her and her own wants and needs. He’s instead thinking of a dream, something he isn’t being honest about.

Hindsight is 20/20 and I feel like he really does regret whatever he did. The grass is always greener on the other side, I guess…

But it makes me wonder if he ended up telling her whatever his deal is or if someone ELSE did? He’s saying that “not one word will reach you” but it must have somehow.

I like how he grabs her hand, the one that has the ring on it… nothing to add to it, I just… it makes me feel things

Spotlight is back on him, he looks to be in their apartment. He isn’t in a costume, he isn’t wearing a mask. I like the focus on the balcony in the background, it’s ominous.

No mask. And his voice seems more pained, his expressions look more hurt. Taking off the mask is stopping his lies, and it seems as though that may not have been the best decision on his part.

Again, I feel like the chair is meant to represent his wife. She was a comfort to him, regardless of the feelings they had for each other. He might not have felt the same way in their marriage, not any longer, but he did love her and the comfort she brought him. Does he want that to disappear? Definitely not. But can he abandon all other thoughts and what he wants in life? Unfortunately not.

I HAVE THINGS I WANT TO SAY ABOUT THIS IMAGE IN PARTICULAR BUT MY BRAIN CANNOT ARTICULATE IT

I think I saw that green can also be representative of cowardice. And I feel like that’s also a big theme here, that he felt too cowardly to be honest with his wife and ultimately it led to the greatest loss of all. This also seems to be a big “miscommunication kills” type of scenario. Communication could have also been the killer here - there’s just not enough info here to make a firm judgment.

Either she jumped from the balcony or he accidentally pushed her. I feel like it’s either one of these. I’m sorta leaning more toward the “he accidentally shoved her in a fit of passion or some sort of argument”... because it just feels like he might’ve had a literal hand in it

Curse this image being so blurry. He’s holding out his hand and his hand is outlined in red, so it’s very important… could he be trying to lunge forward and catch her or is he about to like... push her. HMMM this image does make it look more like he’s trying to grab onto her in hopes of saving her.

Broken shards of glass that I think are representative of their marriage and her fall from the balcony. What’s shattered can’t so easily be put back together - and in some cases, it can’t be put back at all. Something he’s learned in a very hard way and something he might have known all along.

He took a bite from the apple, it’s gone. He made his choice. But what’s left is broken in pieces.

And he goes back to putting on a mask… because I think it’s too hard to face otherwise. Now then! Onto some other things that might shed a little more light because I’m honestly not sure about this. Kazui’s is so… subtle and vague. It seems so obvious on the surface that it makes me think it really ISN’T that tangible from first glance.

Let’s take a look at some of his other things.

He really does seem pretty hung-up on his age lol… I guess I can’t blame him because I do the same thing and I’m only in my twenties.

This is a really interesting tid-bit from him. Why would they find him embarrassing? Because of what happened in his life, because he opened up about something and let down his mask for a bit? I really want to know more about this because it seems so telling.

Another theory I’ve seen go around that I support quite a bit could also be that instead of a “dream” he was hiding he was instead trying to deny his own sexual orientation. If Kazui were gay, that could explain a lot of things in this. Putting on a mask to hide who he really is, staying in a marriage with a person he loves but not in a romantic nor sexual way… his family “being embarrassed” by him… I could honestly see this being the case. He’s playing a part in life and it’s really not HIM because he doesn’t feel he can be himself.

What’s clear is just how much Kazui doesn’t even seem to know what it is that he REALLY wants. He doesn’t seem satisfied no matter the option, it’s just a lose-lose situation all around for him. If he chooses to go with being himself/his dream then he loses his wife. If he stays with his wife, it doesn’t stop his thoughts from wandering elsewhere. He won’t be satisfied.

On another note, Kazui continues to hide behind a mask even with MILGRAM. He tries to pass himself off as someone who is mild-mannered and relaxed but at the same time he’s a bit contradictory because he also calls himself anxious. He says things to others that don’t really reflect his actual thoughts - such as when Yuno asked him about his type of woman and he says something that’s just… not really well thought-out because it seems like he’s pretty private. He wants to be private because opening up with his true feelings hasn’t worked out well for him.

Unrelated but I got this screencap and I’m like… i need a kiss from this man ASAP. i need it like i need air to breathe 

Okay that’s it for now!! So interested to see what direction his story takes in the next MV for him. I really want to learn so much more about Kazui, his entire MV is just so subtle. Let me know your thoughts!! Would really love to hear what you think of Kazui and his cryptic demeanor. Thank you for reading! please tumblr don’t delete like half my post thank u <3

like. on one hand i could very well see cheating being the entire case here. it would make sense what-with choosing to “forgive” or “not forgive”. but i also like to have a bit of fun and see what other possibilities might be. who knows! we shall find out in time

#milgram #milgram theories #kazui mukuhara #over here writin a novel about kazui #if you read all of this you are a trooper thank you for hanging in there #i salute you

[meimae]

Language Learning Through Immersion: One Year Japanese Update

11/03/2021

I did it, you guys! I’ve successfully reached my very first year of Japanese language immersion! I honestly thought that I would have given up by now, but this really has been a fun and ultimately rewarding endeavor.

Studying the language has been at the back of my mind for years since elementary school, I just never really knew how to go about it before, and I always thought that I could learn it in a classroom setting someday. That someday for me was in two elective courses in university, and while those were fun as well, it did not give me the same gains that I have achieved in this past year.

It’s probably easier to quantify learning a language in a classroom setting, especially when going through a program to earn a language degree. Learning through immersion, however, I had to really consider what my goals should be on my own. Eventually, I stumbled upon an article saying that for an English speaker, Japanese was exceptionally difficult to learn and that at least 2,200 hours must be spent with the language to reach a certain level of proficiency. So I said to myself, “well okay internet, if you say so!”, and set that as my long term goal going forward.

Spoiler Alert: I did not hit that goal in my first year. I am not crazy and will never listen to Japanese in my sleep regardless of what Khatzumoto (the creator of All Japanese All the Time) says. 

I did, however, hit a total 1,226.65 active immersion hours in my first year, so I guess I’m still a bit nuts. That is 874.96 hours of active listening and 351.69 reading hours. I also did 270.59 hours of passive listening, also known as the time in the very beginning of my immersion where I was using Japanese subtitles (therefore not really concentrating on listening alone). That’s a cumulative 1,497.24 hours spent with Japanese. That’s more than halfway towards my goal! 

To further break that down for curious animanga fans out there, that’s 973 episodes from 109 anime, 765 episodes from 33 dramas, 7 movies, and 967 chapters from 107 volumes of manga (21 series). Here’s my anilist and mydramalist to see what I’ve read/watched.

During all this, I was also doing my daily Anki reps and now I have a 530 day SRS streak (includes the time prior starting immersion and only doing RTK and some vocabulary cards) and a total 8,857 sentence cards. I’ve been averaging 406 cards daily (because I’m trying to cure my leeches) and I spend about an hour per day doing reps and learning new cards. I don’t really track my time on Anki, but I do have a set timer that goes off after 1-1:30 hours.

What I haven’t touched upon at all is output. I have not gone out of my way to find a tutor or a language partner. There’s still plenty of input out there to immerse in before I even consider outputting.

Graphs, stats, and more thoughts:

Here's my current card count in my main deck (minus the cards in my new/learning queue and leeches I've been relearning which are in separate decks):

That one day in 2019 where I did not do my cards because I was seriously doubting whether I can actually stick with language learning this time around will forever haunt and inspire me to keep going everyday.

Workflow and Tips

You might be wondering, how do I have a lot of time? I started this whole endeavor in the middle of a pandemic, which eliminated the option of me going to a language school, and a slew of other things I were considering doing last year became impossible (and if anything, very scary to do in a pandemic). All I can say is that, things work out eventually if it is His will, and if I can learn a skill before everything properly settles back down again, then why not? 

I wake up at 5 in the morning everyday to either do my Anki reps or read until the time when I need to get up and I listen to compressed audio throughout the day. The biggest tip is to switch the time you spend watching/reading in your native language to your target language instead. Listen to a podcast during your commute, watch an episode during lunch break, read before going to bed, do your Anki reps in the bathroom if you have to. 

But, if you’re feeling burnt out, there is no reason for you to not take a break! I have been watching a lot of Among Us streams before bed, and I chat with my friends from time to time. Language learning is not a race.

More Stats

Here are a couple of grids of the kanji characters that I have encountered at least once in my immersion and how well I have answered them in my vocabulary/sentence cards.

It's interesting that after almost 9000 words, I have yet to encounter every single character from the Remembering the Kanji 1 (RTK 1) book by James Heisig, which teaches you the most common use characters that are part of the 常用漢字. Which brings me to the question, was writing down every single character being taught in RTK worth it every time it came up in my reviews for the first 3-ish months I was reviewing them? Maybe, maybe not. It certainly removed my anxiety whenever looking at blocks of text in Japanese, but the longer I think about it, the more I feel I should have switched to Recognition RTK earlier. Still, being able to write in proper stroke order is cool I guess, and it also helps me when looking things up in the dictionary.

Here’s the same grid but in JLPT order:

I clearly need to grind those N2 and N1 level cards! Speaking of which, I have apparently almost covered every single character that could possibly appear in the JLPT (except for the N1 which I have only covered half of) in just a year's time. If the JLPT word frequency lists I’m using are accurate, I have about 2,000 words more to go to to cover most vocabulary that could appear in the test. This makes the "10,000 sentences/words to fluency" argument a reasonable milestone to aim for for Japanese learners if said aim is only to pass the test. That said, 10,000 words is just that, a milestone. It's more akin to a comfortable level of comprehension, but not my own concept of fluency which is being able to read with ease, speak articulately, and write comfortably.

READING IMMERSION GRAPHS

My biggest motivation for tracking my stats is for the purpose of seeing whether my reading speed is improving over time. Reading speed is also easier to measure than listening comprehension which is kind of subjective, so I had a lot of fun making these. What I found is that for the first volume or chapter of whatever it is I’m reading, I always take the time to get used to the writing style of the author. My speed really improves whenever I keep reading the same topic over and over again. On the other hand and quite obviously, looking up many new words in a row and trying to parse sentences slows me down.

Manga: Reading Speed Progression per Volume

I clearly love ちはやふる and I am not ashamed to admit it.

I need to start reading longer manga. When I do, I’ll probably split this graph into less than and greater than 20 volumes. Imagine if I start reading something ridiculously long as 名探偵コナン or ワンピース, these graphs will start breaching the bounds of time and space.

Novels: Time Spent Reading per Chapter

#neverforget the time I read chapter six of Norwegian Wood for 9 hours when it took me less than half that time in English RIP. Also, my interest in Kitchen plummeted LOL. Still planning to finish it don’t worry. 

I also need to start branching away from manga and start reading more novels and light novels, too just so I can make more pretty graphs.

Visual Novels: Time Spent Reading and Daily Word Count

Also known as images that clearly show that I’ve already spent several days only reading the prologue of Island. I’m not sweating. 切那 needs to stop using words I don’t know in succession. More thoughts on this VN far into the future.

Thoughts on Immersion

I can’t really say anything else other that that it works for me, and needless to say if you’re considering this method, remember that the SRS is your friend but immersion should be your one true love.

Prior to all this, I couldn’t even read a sample paragraph from Genki without being confused to my very soul. Yes, I know, it’s embarrassing, but that’s the truth. I was way more scared of failing my Japanese classes than my actual thesis for my bachelors degree, I kid you not. I would quite literally spend all my free time in university trying to understand grammar, memorize vocabulary, and answer my workbook exercises with little to no success. 

I tried so hard to get all the grammar “formulas” into my head for 1.5 years and it only brought me more confusion. I’m never going back to traditional classroom study for language learning, but I will still refer to grammar books when I need to, and not because I feel like I need to answer 4783342 different workbook exercises like my life depended on it.

I still can’t believe it, but with immersion this statement is actually true to a point, don’t try shadowing anime/or calling your boss anime language slurs, use your common sense:

study anime to understand Japanese > study Japanese to understand anime 

Future Goals/Plans

2,200 immersion hours was my initial goal, but honestly I feel like that number could be much higher. There’s still a lot of stuff I don’t understand (news, politics, sciences, etc.), so I’ll make attempts to cover more of those things in my immersion. 

I’ll continue reading more, because that’s a natural SRS in itself. Try to read longer manga, more novels, visual novels, and light novels, and maybe news articles. 

I’ll try to mine as much “JLPT vocab” as I can before making any attempts at taking the JLPT. I noticed that a lot of the words I know don’t appear in the JLPT word lists as much, even though they appear a lot in media/daily conversation. 

Continue mining all words I don’t know because all words are useful anyway. There is no such thing as useless words. I never really understood mining only “interesting words” or words that “pop up” in your immersion. As I said in my previous blog post, 美人局 is an interesting word and I certainly caught it being said in my immersion, but in the three languages I know, I wouldn’t know when I would be able to use such a word, as compared to something like ジャガイモ which is a significantly less interesting word, but is certainly useful to know. 

_

I have managed to talk up a storm, but if you have any questions regarding my process or recommendations for new immersion material, please feel free to send an ask/reply to this post. I love hearing about other people’s language learning/immersion journeys. 

See you on my next post!

#language learning #japanese language #language acquisition #study blog #langblr #studyblr #graphs #language immersion #japanese #visual novels #manga #novels #anime #dramas #movies #youtube #podcasts

[hopeswriting]

I meant to do a post about my thoughts on the Daily Life Arc now that I finished rereading it, but I can't seem to find the time and it's been a while now, and if I keep it up I'll forget what my thoughts are to begin with lol, so here's the long story short:

I know it's a long arc, as in it starts being boring and more or less unbearable past some point, because the "gag of the chapter" format only takes you so far, and not actually very far if Amano's humor doesn't work on you much, if at all. I don't think it's an arc you can reread right away/soon either, lest you feel that one flaw even faster.

And I felt it too, starting with the fourty-something chapters I felt like it was dragging on too much, though to be fair that probably had to do too with the fact I knew things much more interesting were coming after that.

Still, all that said, like, it's an enjoyable arc. Amano's humor happens to work on me, and she does it really well, and I liked reading the arc. There are some chapters where you're really asking yourself why they were written for lol, but even then you read it for the characters, and it somehow keeps you going.

And like, even though I think Amano could have seen the fact the comedy was going to turn repetitive and thus boring at some point, and try to diversify it or something, it's just how comedy/humor/gags works? Some jokes land and some doesn't, but for me at least a lot more of them worked than not.

The DLA is a good enough arc is what I'm saying.

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On than note and on the contrary, of course it's fine if you think it's a bad arc, to each their opinion, but personally I really don't agree it's an unnecessary one.

I'm saying this because apparently it's not uncommon to advice new fans to skip the arc and directly start with the Kokuyo one? (Or so I learned on TV Tropes anyway, this might or might not be still relevent/accurate.)

Now don't get me wrong, the DLA does fail to hook the readers to the story for the reasons stated above, I agree with that, but it literally introduces the main character? And all the other characters, and gets us to know them, and establishes the dynamics between them and why they're the way they are, and, though only in a more or less superficial manner (and more than less) by design of the arc's purpose (not being deep in any way lol), it still gives us an insight into the characters and why they're the way they are. A glimpse into the core of their personality, the "stakes" of their characters, the flaws they have to overcome.

And all that in the context of their daily life, so if you skip it to go directly to the arc that challenges them, you can't appreciate fully how they rise to the challenge, how it shows their growth or reasserts their core values. You can't know how much or what it means, for example, off the top of my head, to have Yamamoto sacrifice his arm to beat Ken, when only a year ago he tried to kill himself over his broken arm. Or Hibari losing against Mukuro, thus telling us how much of a real threat he was. Or Tsuna screaming at Lancia for having hurt his friends, anger on his face, clearly despite himself, that Dame-Tsuna.

All these just wouldn't hit you the same, and it'd be such a shame? I mean I guess the ones who start with the Kokuyo arc go back to read the DLA, or you could compromise like the anime did by splitting the DLA between more serious arcs, but like I said I personally don't find the DLA that bad, so I still wouldn't advice it lol.

Even if, I suppose, it'd mean they might give up on the manga somewhere through the DLA, but like? Some mangas just don't speak to you, and that's fine, and it'd be a little of a shame from my POV as a KHR fan, but still, no big deal.

------

I'm still very impressed with how smoothly Amano went from a gag manga to a shonen one, and how she made it so the DLA still fits with the rest. I mean the sudden change in tone/stakes/etc is jarring, sure, but it's all based on stuff she introduced in the DLA, which she presumably came up with with no intention to ever make it something deeper/more meaningful.

It's easy to believe the foreshadowing, and generally speaking the worldbuilding was planned all along, which, again, probably not, and like? Super impressive.

(Though once more don't get me wrong, there are inconsistencies/plot holes in Amano's plotlines and worldbuilding, but not, like, at their seams, if I can say it like that? It's more often in the details, and it's fairly easy to fill in the blanks ourselves.)

------

Finally it was a lot of fun to rediscover the characters in a new light, and a bit of a disbelieving surprise tbh.

For context before I started my reread of the manga, all this time I was going with the time I read/watched it years ago plus the times I skimmed it, but mostly by all the fanon I was consuming. And it's not to say fanon is wrong per se, but it latched on one to three character's traits, or slapped an easy character archetype on them easy to "relate" to within, and apparently never looked back lol. And also often dialed up those traits (good or bad) in a very noticeable manner.

What I'm saying is, fanon is, in fact, wrong sometimes zldnslsz, and the characters are much more nuanced even in the DLA! (Which still leaves us at a more or less superficial level, because, you know lol, but still!)

------

To name the ones that stood out to me the most:

Nana isn't abused by Iemitsu, nor is she unhappy in her marriage despite Iemitsu being an absent husband (which is not relevent in the context of the DLA, but still, you can tell). She isn't an abusive mother to Tsuna either, and she is literally never an airhead. She literally just isn't, she actually does react very normally to the crazy Reborn brings with him, but much like Yamamoto as long as no one gets hurt (or walks it off), she just brushes it off.

And she has friends she goes listen to piano recitals with, and tries to save on money by eating rests, and gets in two-way arguments with Tsuna, and raises his allowance if he gets better grades to push him to work harder, and all around is just your average mom that really didn't read as just The Mom, if you know what I mean.

She has her flaws, definitely, she's not a great mom, namely is apparently used to call Tsuna Dame-Tsuna, but she's not just that.

She takes care of him, worries over him, and seems to be the only one who hasn't given up on him yet when the story starts. She supports him (though sometimes in a tactless to hurtful way), praises him when he does well, and trusts him to watch over the kids.

She's not that bad is what I'm saying, and 100% redeemable (that is, if you think she needs to be redeemed to begin with, which I actually do think she does, calling Tsuna Dame of all things is just a really shitty thing to do.)

(Though it's interesting to note that she doesn't do it again after what happened with Kyoko iirc, even if she might very well still talk to him in a belittling way at times. I just wish Amano would have commit fully to acknowledge it and resolve it, what with already having made it Kyoko's Dying Will Regret.)

(Edit: I had forgotten but she literally forgets his birthday while preparing someone else's birthday, so I take back that she is 100% redeemable because it's being too nice. But my point still stands.)

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Haru is literally such a fun character, it makes me even more sad now to know what Amano did with her (nothing ansknslq 😭😂).

She's unhinged, has zero impulse control, does not reflect on the consequences of her lack of impulse control as Tsuna points it out, is ready and willing to throw hands at any given moment and is unapologetic of it, and is the one Amano actually calls an airhead.

The only problem she had with the mafia is that she thought Tsuna was forcing it on Reborn, and when she confirmed it was all true she literally didn't even blink at it, and immediately called herself the future Decimo's wife djosdkkd.

On that note she is literally mafia right from her first appearance, is more or less involved in almost all the mafia shenanigans, was right there with Tsuna & Co when they went to destroy the Tomaso's headquarters.

And like?? Amano could just have left it at that if she wasn't going to do anything else/more with it. Haru had so much potential, and not only Amano did nothing with it, she actually watered her down and took away all her distinct character's traits 😭.

------

Hibari is so much more feral and playful than his fanon cool, overpowered, quiet badass counterpart. Which I love too, don't get me wrong, but these two sides of him don't have to be exclusive!

He talks and smiles and jokes often, and shows off and casually insults you, and licks the blood away from his lips after having beaten bloody other middle schoolers who dared to defy him (I know this happens in the Kokuyo arc, but it illustrates my point the best).

Not much more to add than that, we should just acknowledge that and put it in our works more often.

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Gokudera is a compelling character from the get go, and as far as the DLA goes, he's the most compelling character second to Tsuna. He's the only one to actually have flashbacks and a backstory. And what stood out to me the most that I don't see often in fanon, is that he's really a good friend.

Yes he has a short fuse and snaps easily and is easy to anger, but he's not always angry. And is seen having and being capable of positive exchanges outside of Tsuna (I'm thinking Yamamoto namely, who's made with Ryohei to be the one he gets angry with the most).

And yes he holds Tsuna on a pedestal and sees him through heavily tinted pink glasses, but even through that he's earnestly a good friend. And tries his best, and is hardworking and overachieving, so much so he messes up without meaning to, but he only ever has honest, straight-forward good intentions behind it all (well, maybe not always lol).

I love him a lot more now is what I'm saying.

------

And Tsuna. I'm not sure I'll be able to articulate my thoughts properly, but like... he's just your average teenager. Which of course is his whole thing, and I'm saying it in a very not judgy way whatsoever, but he's often made to be at least a little more than that, namely about his bullying.

Like, it's kind of dramatised in fics? And I'm not going to elaborate on that more because it might come out wrong and I don't want that, but it's just, like—canonically he is just bullied, simple as that. Like many other teenagers are.

And it's all in a "chill" way (for unfortunate lack of a better word, I don't mean to trivialize bullying at all, it's wrong and unfair and never deserved or okay, just so we're clear), and by the time the story starts Tsuna is used to it and has given up fighting against it, and actually finds refuge and a twisted comfort in embracing his Dame-Tsuna's monicker, because at least he's not gonna hit rock bottom deeper than that if he does.

And I'm not actually going anywhere with this, it's just? It hit me how differently canon and fanon portray his bullying.

Back on the note of him being a (below) average teenager, Tsuna is not an uwu pure cinnamon roll too good for this world.

He's literally so quick to judge and criticise, whether in his head or out loud when he knows more the person (namely Haru lol, poor girl), it was actually a bit of a shock tbh lol. He snaps easily, and is lazy, does not want to try even one bit, and is happy to run away from his responsibilities whenever he can.

And not only I'm not saying that in a judgy way this time either, but I'm actually saying it in a good way. He really felt like your average middle schooler, and it was so refreshing to see. That, plus the fact the narrative never holds it against him, let alone punishes him for it even if he's made to grow out of these traits, and it's literally part of his character arc, is kind of unique for the shonen genre (maybe, I'm not exactly a specialist of shonen mangas lol).

And I can see why you'd want to change it in fics, but personally I think it really makes his character's arc even more meaningful.

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr text post #daily life arc #i said long story short but this is actually the long story 😭 #lile a lot of things i just really need to start to keep going uh sbdlsnks #if the read more doesn't work i'll add it on desktop as soon as i get my hands on a computer #in the meantime sorry about that #khr reread

[itsclydebitches]

I ask you because you’re good at articulating your thoughts but why do you like BB? I just wanna know the hype behind this ship, I’ve seen people outside the fandom either say they’re waiting for it to be canon to get into the show or they claim it’s the only good thing about it.

Hey, anon! Ah, getting a lovely compliment about articulating thoughts while I sit here struggling to articulate my thoughts lol.

Okay, I want to start by saying that I personally like Yang/Blake about as much as the majority of the ships I have. Meaning, the 95% of fictional characters I enjoy seeing as a canonical couple and/or imagining as a potential couple, excluding the 5% that I get really, really into. I've got OTPs and I've got casual ships. BB is the latter. Why is this important? Because I think BB has been under an extreme amount of pressure over the years, with that pressure only increasing as time goes on and that... kinda sucks. They represent the growing demand for explicitly queer relationships. They're tied to a webseries and a fandom rather infamous at this point for its heated, controversial content. They're a part of an era where fans are more focused than ever on canonical status, whereas back in the day you just enjoyed ships for the hell of it, regardless of their chances of getting together on screen. It used to be that people unironically adored ships for characters who had never exchanged a single greeting. Nowadays, you need a ten page essay explaining why the ship is supposedly The Best. Blake/Yang is bound up in all of that, resulting in a community that, yeah, hypes things up to an arguably unnecessary degree. We've reached a point where this couple supposedly makes or breaks the entire show; it's either the greatest ship to every grace the small screen, or it's the ruin of the entire franchise. In reality, Blake/Yang is just... a ship. Like any other ship. Some people like it. Some people don't. It should be far more casual than it is. Which isn't to say fans aren't justified in being invested in the politics of the queer relationship — I am — or even just emotionally invested in a ship they really enjoy, but rather that I think the hype is due more to these external factors than the relationship itself. Blake and Yang arguably aren't unique in what makes them an attractive couple. Are they important in terms of that representation for an American webseries? Yes. Are they exceptional in regards to these two character types being shipped by a fandom? Not by a longshot. I could give you hundreds of ships that look just like Blake and Yang.

And that for me is part of the appeal. I like many of the same sorts of things in my ships. One of those is the "opposites attract" setup, where we have the brash party girl coupled with the quieter bookworm. They balance each other in a number of significant ways, from fighting styles to their backgrounds. And, for fic purposes, that balance can also provide great conflict for them to work through, resulting in a stronger couple down the line. Going off of that, I enjoy that they're already partners at the (near) start of the show. The different definitions of "partner" is always fun, but beyond that — and despite the before mentioned shipping of characters who have never interacted — there's a tendency to pair of the duos who have already been paired up by the story. There's a sense of inevitability about it (fate, perhaps?) alongside the practical benefit of them getting a lot of screen time together. There's a reason why Blake/Yang and Ruby/Weiss got popular, with the former arguably surpassing the latter only because of its likelihood of becoming canon. We reached a point where the show is actively pushing Blake/Yang in a way they never did Ruby/Weiss — their coding is far stronger — and that creates a snowball effect: popular ships keep getting more popular the more attention they're paid; you pay the popular stuff more attention. Round and round we go. But I also enjoy their awkward flirting and tender moments, no matter how many problems might be attached to those in the story's context. I like how they tease and push one another — even if, again, the story has largely failed in that regard. They have a lot of good potential, shall we say, which is all a fan ever needs. Whether you're analyzing one of their clearly coded moments, or just running with the balanced color scheme — Yang has purple eyes with Blake wearing purple, Blake has yellow eyes with Yang wearing yellow — there's a lot in the show to connect them together, making the already easy job of shipping even easier.

Blake/Yang is a solid ship. They just also happen to be a ship bearing most of the weight of their show. I've made the comparison before, but it's not unlike Dean/Cas becoming the cornerstone of Supernatural. You reach a point where the story itself is such a mess that the most popular pairing becomes the supposed answer to all these problems: it's either the saving grace, or the reason for the show's destruction. It'll either save RWBY or function as the explanation for its downfall. Yang/Blake is heading more and more in that direction, either built up or torn down to an extreme degree as it tries to bear that weight. But honestly? I don't think it's any better or worse than those hundred other ships I could toss out. Ignoring the f/f rep, they're a pretty classic setup, a dime a dozen, and the important takeaway is that there's nothing wrong with that. There's a reason pairings like Blake/Yang got popular in the first place. Saying "I've seen it before" isn't a bad thing because fans like familiarity. But it simultaneously means they're not the best thing since sliced bread. They're neither the devil nor the angel the RWBY community has made them out to be.

So basically, my own casual enjoyment aside, I don't think the external factors propelling the love/hatred for the ship means the ship itself is actually that astounding or horrific. In a better written show, a less controversial show, setting aside those fans who have Yang/Blake as their first OTP and are pouring all that intense love into it, etc. I think the ship would still be popular... but we wouldn't be in this "it's the only good thing about the show"/"this was the show's downfall" territory. Pretty much every large fandom is going to develop that one, popular ship — just look at how fast Loki/Mobius happened — which shows that Blake/Yang is not unique in regards to getting the majority of a community's attention. It's just that other shows are solid enough to let ships be ships, without expecting any one ship to prove the show's worth. Or herald its downfall.

#rwby #mymetas