#also: watching multi pov is so much fun!!!!

[dreamingofthedteam]

these interviews are so mind fuck like i love them so much its so real and then not so real but then its so intense and makes me just FEEL

#druka catches up with squidcraft 2 #i mean this is exactly what their version of rp is yk—them making it very real and about real people and feelings but then its not so real #coz its not actually happening #i love how sapnap can do this especially #if i didnt know better id think he meant everything he said re his relationship with dream and george and his bitching with hannah #also: watching multi pov is so much fun!!!! #like i was initially watching gogy pov but then they took sapnap away for the interview and then i just had to watch it so i could switch #to his pov for that #IT IS SO COOL AND IM RAMBLING IK BUT ITS JUST SO AMAZING

[badkitty3000]

UPDATED 4/17/24! CHAPTER SIX ADDED!

☕Love In The Time Of Cholera And Coffee ☕

Chapters 1-6

Five x Female Reader, Klaus x Female Reader

You and Klaus are in a casual relationship. No ties, just sex. When you start spending a lot of time at his apartment, you somehow manage to break through his brother's prickly outer shell. He seems to like you, or at least tolerate you the best that Five can. When you start to realize that maybe there is more than just mutual friendship between the two of you, it opens up a lot of feelings and unanswered questions. And a lot of problems.

This story contains sexually explicit material! (But also lots of humor and fluff)

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Multi-Chapter Fic, Cross-posted on AO3. Link to my Master List.

This story alternates between the reader's POV and Five's POV. I will update a chapter at a time going forward. If you'd like to read it on AO3's format, here is the Link to story on AO3.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter One: Motivation, Routine, and Caffeine

You have been sort of dating Klaus for several weeks already. Not exactly his girlfriend and not exactly not his girlfriend. You are something in between and you are ok with that. You don’t need a major commitment and you are content with a casual relationship. Maybe not forever, but for right now it suits your needs. Klaus is fun and easygoing, and always makes you feel relaxed. He can be selfish sometimes, that is true, but you are willing to overlook it for the most part. As long as he doesn’t bring his selfishness into the bedroom, which so far he has not, then you could live with it.

The sex is good. Which is probably the real reason you’ve been hanging around so long. Without the sex, there isn’t a whole lot keeping you there. You don’t have a lot in common, except that you both like watching old English-dubbed Samurai movies on TV late at night while passing a joint back and forth. You don’t even like smoking that much, but Klaus has a way of making everything seem alluring and sexy, so you never hesitate when he takes a long hit off a joint and hands it over to you.

You spend a lot of your time at his apartment. You work a lot of hours, and sometimes have to work late, and his apartment is much closer than yours. That’s actually where you had met Klaus, at the bakery and coffee shop that you manage. He had come in for a tea and started making small talk with you. Before you knew it, he had you cracking up when he made a joke about eating your muffin. You weren’t even offended; that’s just part of the magic of Klaus. He can say pretty much anything and get away with it.

It doesn’t hurt that he’s one of the most beautiful men on the planet. Honestly, sometimes you’re jealous of how every single piece of clothing looks amazing on him and he never seems to have a bad hair day. Being with Klaus is like walking around in the company of some ancient Greek sculpture come to life. He draws eyes wherever he goes, from both men and women, and he’s never shy about returning the looks, either.

He likes to go shopping with you to help you pick out clothes, and he always lets you know if they look good on you or not. He’s funny, and sweet, and it’s very easy to fall under his spell. With Klaus you get the best of both worlds; a fun best friend that you can share clothes and gossip with, but who you also get to fuck.

That initial run-in with him eventually led to a few hook ups, and now you are a regular visitor at his place. It works out well. He always stays up late, so it’s no big deal if you swing by on your way out of work at midnight.

You are also working a lot in order to hopefully buy the shop from the current owner. Soon, you’ll have enough cash, along with a loan from the bank, to buy it. And you already run the place, anyway. It has always been a dream of yours to be able to own your own business.

So, between the long hours and financial preparation for the purchase, you don’t have a whole lot of free time. Most of what you do have, you spend with Klaus since it’s convenient and fun. Which, as it turns out, means you are also spending a lot of time with his brother.

You knew from the beginning who Klaus was. You know all about The Umbrella Academy and the Hargreeves family, because everyone does. Not that they’re really a household name anymore, but you know all about their history and their powers. So, when you found Klaus shared an apartment with Number Five, you were intrigued. You knew he had gone missing for a long time, but didn’t really know the whole story. Klaus had filled you in one night, though, and you were left feeling sorry and sad for him. That is, until you met him.

The first time you were there, sitting on the couch with Klaus watching TV, Five had teleported directly into the living room and scared the living shit out of you. After you screamed, he looked at you like you were some sort of flea-ridden possum that had gotten inside the house when someone left the door open.

“Holy shit!” you had shrieked, clutching at your chest and trying to catch your breath.

Without addressing you in any way, or introducing himself, Five glared at you, then turned to Klaus with a scowl. “Keep your feet off the coffee table. And stop leaving the goddamn milk out.”

Then he was gone again, in a swoosh of light, leaving you staring at an empty space.

“Wow, that was intense. Does he always do that?” you had asked Klaus.

Klaus just laughed and nodded, putting his feet back up on the coffee table. “Oh yeah, that’s just Five. You get used to it.”

“He seems kind of scary. And angry.”

“Fivey? Oh no, not at all. My big brother is really just a mushy little teddy bear all dressed up in a three-piece suit. Trust me, his bark is much bigger than his bite.” Then Klaus creased his eyebrows together in thought and pointed his joint at you. “But, maybe try not to piss him off too much. Just in case.”

Because of what you learned about Five’s time travel mishaps, he looked younger than Klaus and a few years younger than you. You were somewhere in between the two of them. But Five definitely had the grumpy, older brother thing down. After you got used to him appearing and disappearing without warning, you started to loosen up around him a little bit. Even though Klaus told you he was really a softy inside, you have a hard time believing it from the way he acts around you. After several weeks straight of being ignored, you decide to call him out on his bullshit.

Five appears out of a portal of blue directly in front of you as you are on your way to the bathroom. As usual, he gives you his signature sneer and is about to walk past you when you grab him by the arm. He looks down at his arm where your hand is and then back at your face; a murderous glint in his eyes.

“What the hell is your problem?” you ask him, doing your very best not to show your nerves.

“My problem? I don’t have a problem, thank you. Now let go of me.”

His voice is hard, but he also hasn’t tried to pull away, and you keep your hand on him. His upper arm is much firmer and solid than you had expected and you can feel his bicep flexing under your fingers.

“Why are you always so rude? I haven’t done anything to you.”

Five rolls his eyes and sighs. “Christ. Look, I’m sorry if I’m not dying to be all buddy-buddy with you. I learned a while ago that it’s not exactly worth getting to know my brother’s flavor of the month.”

You know he’s meaning to insult you, but you end up laughing instead. It’s no secret that Klaus is a total man-whore and you’re fine with that. It’s nothing serious and if another man came along that you were interested in, Klaus wouldn’t mind that, either. In fact, he’d probably want to meet him.

“Look, your mean old man act is wearing a little thin. It wouldn’t kill you to be somewhat nice once in a while. Maybe even get to know me? Most people think I’m a fucking delight.”

Five gives a sarcastic snort of laughter and looks back at your hand on his arm. This time, you let go. “How about this, sweetheart? If you’re still around next week, I’ll consider finding out how much of a fucking delight you are.”

You smile and hold out your hand, ignoring his condescension. “Alright, old man. Deal.”

You notice a tiny twitch of the corner of his mouth, but then it’s gone again. He looks cautiously at your hand, like he’s not sure what to do with it at first, and then he gives it a quick shake with his own before muttering something under his breath and blinking away again.

It is exactly one week later, and you haven’t forgotten Five’s deal. He has been slightly more cordial to you in the past seven days, but he still doesn’t take the time to stick around more than two minutes to talk to you. So, you’re practically beaming with satisfaction that you get to rub it in his face and actually make him talk to you.

You corner him in the kitchen one morning, as he’s pouring a cup of coffee. “Hi!” you exclaim loudly as his back is turned to you, and you laugh when he almost spills his coffee everywhere.

“Fuck!” he yells, before turning around and glaring at you.

You bounce on your toes and clap. “Guess what today is?”

“I can only hope that it’s National Leave Your Boyfriend’s Brother The Fuck Alone Day?”

You give a fake laugh and shake your head. “No, dummy. And he’s not my boyfriend, anyway. It’s been a week and I’m still here, right in your grumpy little face. So, now you have to talk to me.”

“I most certainly do not,” he states dryly before taking a sip of his coffee and then making a face of disgust. “Damn it, Klaus cannot make a decent pot of coffee to save his life.”

“Oh my gosh, that’s what I told him! It’s the worst!”

That seems to pique Five’s interest a little and he gives a small smile. “He buys the cheapest shit ever. Everyone knows the secret to good coffee is –"

“Quality coffee beans.”

He looks stunned that you said exactly what he was going to say and he lowers his mug. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“See? If you had taken the time to know me a little, you would know that I actually manage a café. I know all about good coffee.”

You don’t know him well enough to recognize all of his expressions, but if you could guess, you’d say he looks somewhat impressed.

You continue on. “And, since I know firsthand that Klaus’s coffee is total shit, I have started bringing my own with me. Wait right here.”

You leave, go into Klaus’s bedroom, and pull out a small bag of coffee grounds from the overnight bag you brought with you. When you return to the kitchen, Five is still waiting there, and you hold it up for him to see.

“Now, move out of the way so I can dump that swamp water out and make us something good.”

Five actually does what you say, and moves out of your way, allowing you to clean out the pot and fill the coffee maker up with fresh water and your special grounds. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s watching you intently. It’s slightly unnerving but you try to ignore it.

When you’re done and all you can do is wait for the coffee to brew, the two of you stand on opposite sides of the kitchen, leaning against the countertop. Five has his arms crossed over his chest and you start fidgeting with your hands, picking at your nails and cuticles. Your boldness from just a few minutes ago has faded.

“So, you’re the manager of a café?” Five finally asks, breaking the silence.

“Yes. Soon to be owner, if things go well.”

Five raises his eyebrows and nods his head in approval. “Sounds like a smart move.”

“I hope so. It’s a big step, but I’m ready for it. I want to be my own boss.”

Five nods his head again, but doesn’t say anything. After another minute of silence, the coffee maker beeps. Thankful for something to do, you pull out two new clean mugs and pour each of you a cup. When you hand one to Five, he takes it from you and you notice his hands. They look strong, with taught tendons running down the backs and long, slender fingers. You’ve always had a thing for hands.

“Holy shit,” Five says, his forehead creased with lines.

“What? No good?” you ask, genuinely surprised that he wouldn’t like it.

“No, quite the opposite. This is perfect!”

You laugh and hold up your mug. “And you didn’t want to get to know me.”

Five makes a face that kind of resembles a smile and takes another drink. “Well, if I’d known you made coffee like this…”

You laugh again and shake your head. “Klaus insists you are just a big teddy bear, and maybe I’m beginning to see it. Underneath all that crabbiness, anyway.”

“I’m not crabby,” Five insists, giving you the crabbiest frown ever.

“Oh, ok. Sorry. Curmudgeonly? Would you prefer that?”

To your surprise, he actually laughs. You’ve never heard him laugh before and it catches you off guard. But you like the way his face breaks into a big grin and the sound that rises up out of his chest like it’s been stored in there for a very long time and is finally being released.

“Well, I’ll be damned…did you just make Senor Cinco laugh?”

You and Five both turn and see Klaus sauntering into the kitchen to join you, wearing nothing but a small pair of bright blue underpants. He sidles up to you and throws an arm around your shoulder, leaning down and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“I did!” you exclaim with a smile, putting your arm around his naked waist.

“That just might be a new record. Usually, it takes at least three months, plus a few thinly-veiled death threats, before you get an honest to goodness laugh out of him.”

Five rolls his eyes and his face returns to its normal seriousness. “Actually, Klaus, I just don’t laugh at anything you have to say. Because you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Aw…I love you too, Fivey,” Klaus responds before he reaches out and ruffles Five’s hair.

Five bristles and runs a hand over the mess Klaus made, trying to restore his normal style.

“Well, as much as I’d love to continue this thrilling conversation, I’ll be taking my leave now. Enjoy your day doing…what do you two do, anyway? Contract various STDs and debate the nuances of Scooby Doo?”

You let out a loud cackle at that, which makes Five smile crookedly in your direction; right before he blinks away, leaving Klaus rolling his eyes and you with an inexplicably warm feeling in your chest.

Another week has passed and you and Klaus are still playing the no-ties dating game. Since you had turned Five on to your coffee making skills, the two of you have developed a bit of a friendship. While Klaus likes to stay up late and sleep in the next day, you are up early. Despite your long work hours, you generally don’t need a lot of sleep to function. You run mostly on motivation, routine, and caffeine. Which, coincidentally, so does Five.

Because you are both up in the early morning hours, you and Five will end up meeting in the kitchen when the sun is barely above the horizon. He will sit quietly at the small kitchen table and watch while you go about making coffee for the two of you. Neither of you say much until the coffee is finished brewing and has been poured. Then you sit down across from Five and he’ll actually engage in conversation.

At first, it was like pulling teeth to get Five to answer any questions, but after a while he warmed up. Now, you’re pretty sure he actually likes sitting down and talking to you. This morning is no different, and you and Five are in the kitchen, comfortably talking and sipping coffee when Klaus wanders in.

He yawns and stretches his sinewy body before flashing you a smile. “Morning, babe. I feel like waffles. You guys want some waffles?”

Five says nothing, but you smile back up at Klaus. “As long as you aren’t suggesting I get up and make them, then yes, I’m up for some waffles. We can go to that diner down the street.”

Klaus comes over and starts running his hands through your hair, massaging your scalp in the process and combing out the tangles with his fingers. It feels nice and relaxing and you close your eyes. When you open them again, your gaze lands on Five and your eyes meet. Something about the way he is looking at you makes your face flush with embarrassment and you gently push Klaus’s hands away, laughing.

“Quit it,” you say lightly, even though under normal circumstances you love it when Klaus plays with your hair.

He takes a step back, unfazed, and goes to pour himself a cup of coffee. Five is still watching you and you have to avert your eyes just to think straight. You scoot your chair back and stand up, turning to Klaus.

“So, are we going or what?”

Klaus shrugs. “Sure, you buying?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t I always?”

“Yes, you do. And then I pay you back in a much more physical way.”

“You realize that makes you sound like you’re prostituting yourself for breakfast foods.”

“I’ve done a lot worse for a lot less.”

You laugh and then you see Five get up and start to make his way out of the kitchen. “Five wait!”

He stops and turns to you, coffee cup still in hand, and eyes you up. “Yeah?”

“Come with us.”

“I don’t think so. You two toddlers go ahead.”

You frown and jut your hip out. “First of all, stop insulting us. Second, name one good reason you don’t want to come with us. I mean, you do eat, don’t you? Or do you survive solely on black coffee and sarcasm?”

You see that faint smile playing on Five’s lips again. The one that gives you a little flutter in your stomach when you see it; because you know you’re one of the few that can actually get him to break.

“Yes, I do eat. If surviving on coffee and sarcasm were a thing, it would have made my life in the apocalypse much easier.”

He’s kidding, but you still feel bad about your comment and you cringe a little at the mention of his traumatic past. Klaus, though, just waves a hand in the air dramatically.

“Come on, Fivey! What’s not to like about spending time with your favorite brother, while also getting some free waffles?”

“Pleeeaase?” you beg while batting your lashes exaggeratedly in Five’s direction.

After another annoyed eye roll and a huffy sigh, Five relents. “Fine! I will go to your stupid diner and eat your stupid waffles.”

“That a boy!” Klaus goes to slap Five on the back, but he has already blinked out of the kitchen.

“I hope it’s ok that I invited him?” you ask.

“Of course it’s ok. I can’t believe he said yes, though. I’ve been trying to get him out and socializing forever. It’s like you have a special magic touch with him. You’re like the Number Five Whisperer.”

You laugh. “Yeah, right. I think he just wanted breakfast.”

Klaus shakes his head. “No, really. I’ve seen him around you. He actually listens to you and isn’t mean.”

“He’s mean to me all the time!”

“Well, compared to what the rest of the world gets from him, that’s nothing. He once called me the human version of a shart.”

When you can’t help doubling over with laughter at that, Klaus puts a hand on his hip. “It was very hurtful.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious. Say what you want, but the man is funny. Whether he intends to be or not.”

“Just you wait. When he starts comparing you to shitting his pants, then we’ll see how funny you think he is.”

Once you are all showered and dressed, the three of you walk over to the diner for breakfast. You are planning on going directly to work from there, so you have your bag slung over your shoulder. The weight of it is evident by the way you’re slumped to one side while you lug it around, and Five eyes it curiously as you slide into a booth. You and Klaus are on one side while Five is across from you.

“What do you have in there? Bricks?” Five asks you as he picks up a menu.

“Yes. I carry around a bag full of bricks. One never knows when one might need to perform an emergency masonry job.”

You see Five’s lips purse together in a failed attempt at trying not to smile, avoiding your eyes by pretending to peruse the menu.

Klaus lets out a loud hoot of laughter and puts his arm around your shoulders. “Looks like you may have met your match in the snide comment department, Fivey.”

Five glances up and flicks a stray piece of hair off his face. “Doubtful. I am, and will always remain, the king of snide comments.”

You and Five exchange amused looks and you peer down at your own menu. A waitress comes to the table to take your orders and Klaus flashes her one of his beautiful smiles and you can see she is instantly smitten by him.

“A round of waffles and coffee for the table, please.” Klaus gestures to all three of you. “And make sure to give the bill to my sugar mama over here.”

The waitress gives you a funny look and you shrug with a smile before she wanders off to put in the order.

“Klaus!” Five hisses, leaning forward.

“What?”

“If you can’t pay for your own breakfast, I will. Don’t make her do it.”

Klaus looks genuinely taken aback. “Why? She offered.”

“Because it’s…” Five pauses and sighs and if you thought he was capable of embarrassment that might have been what he was conveying. “…it’s not gentlemanly.”

You chew on your bottom lip and look down in your lap so that you don’t laugh, but also so that Five doesn’t see how completely shocked you are at this statement.

Klaus frowns at Five. “I forget sometimes that you’re an old coot under that sleek body of yours. Don’t be so old-fashioned, Fivey. The times they are a-changin’.” He turns to you. “Besides, am I nothing but a gentleman?”

They are both looking at you for some sort of response and you laugh nervously. “Yes, you are mostly a gentleman. And I don’t mind paying; I did offer.” Klaus looks smug and Five rolls his eyes. “However,” you point a finger at each of them, “neither one of you offered to carry my bag for me on the way here.”

You watch with satisfaction as both of their mouths hang open for a second before they realize they have nothing to say to that. Just then, the waitress comes by with your coffees and starts to set them down in front of you on the tabletop. As you smirk to yourself, you hear both men utter a soft “sorry” under their breath before taking a sip from their mugs.

Five clears his throat. “You never did answer me. What are you carrying around in there?”

You glance at the overstuffed tote bag next to you. “Well, some extra clothes and toiletries, but also my laptop and a bunch of notebooks and file folders. I’m applying for a large bank loan and need to make sure all of my ducks are in a row.”

“Oh, that’s right. You’re planning on buying your café.”

Klaus leans back against the booth. “Yeah, she’s cute and smart. Hey, another thing you two have in common!”

Five takes another drink and mutters over his mug. “I am not cute.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Klaus looks thoughtful as he scans Five up and down. “You’ve got more of that angry, smoldering, sex god look about you.”

“Shut up, Klaus.”

“He’s right,” you hear yourself saying and your cheeks immediately burn when you realize you said it out loud. You notice Five’s face reddens a little as well when he looks at you in surprise.

Klaus is oblivious and he clinks his coffee mug against yours in a toasting gesture. “See? Everyone thinks so. Now, the next step is to share some of that super sexiness with another human being and not just your fist.”

With his face still flushed, Five clenches his jaw even tighter. “Shut. Up. Klaus.”

“I know it’s convenient and doesn’t require you to leave the house, but choking the old chicken doesn’t replace the need for human contact. It’s nice to flog your log once in a while, but you need to branch out. Let someone else take Fivey Junior for a spin. Know what I mean?”

You are certain you are about to witness a murder firsthand as you watch Five pick up his butter knife in a clenched fist, leaning dangerously close to his brother across the table, when the waitress comes back with your food. As she plunks down the plates in front of everyone, Klaus continues to dig his own grave.

“Hey there,” he squints at the waitress’ name tag, “Sandra. What do you think of my brother over here?”

Sandra looks visibly uncomfortable as she glances from Klaus’s beaming face to Five’s murderous one and back again.

“I’m sorry?”

“On a scale of one to ten, with one being you would not bang him if he were the last man on earth, to ten being you want to jump his brittle old bones right here in this diner booth, how would you rate him?”

You sink down in your seat and close your eyes, thinking that maybe if you aren’t actually looking when Five rams that knife through Klaus’s neck, you won’t have to answer too many questions from the cops. You risk opening one eye a slit and you can see Five fuming, nostrils flared and neck veins bulging. The poor waitress is not sure what to do as she stands there awkwardly, so you decide to jump in.

You laugh theatrically. “He’s just kidding! I bet him $20 to say that. I’m sorry…I didn’t think he’d actually do it.”

Sandra relaxes a little and sighs with relief. “Oh, ok. No worries. Enjoy your meal.”

As she walks away, you turn to Klaus with a glare.

“What?” he asks innocently.

“You’re terrible,” you tell him, disapprovingly.

“I’m trying to do the guy a favor and help him get his ex-assassin wiener wet!”

Suddenly, Five’s palm bangs on the table, making the plates and cutlery dance and clatter. You and Klaus both jump in your booth.

“I do not,” seethes Five, “need your help or anyone else’s for that matter.” He relaxes a bit, unclenching his jaw and rolling his shoulders back. His eyes pass over to you as he starts to cut into his waffle. One corner of his mouth curls up as he stabs a piece with his fork. “Fivey Junior is doing just fine, thank you,” he quips before taking a bite and giving you a quick wink.

Your stomach feels warm and fluttery all of a sudden and you let out a snort of laughter. The subject is dropped after that and Klaus eventually moves on to something else that involves his and Five’s apartment. Your mind wanders as you eat your food, staring into space as the two brothers chatter next to you. You didn’t mean for your mind to wander to that, but now that it was brought up, you find it front and center in your brain.

You find yourself wondering exactly what Five’s sexual situation is. You’ve never seen him with a woman, or a man, but he’s certainly good looking enough to get either one. Maybe his surly attitude turns people off? You know all about his unique situation, and so maybe he’s never had the opportunity to be with anyone else in that way. You steal a glance over at him, noticing the way the tendons in his forearms tighten and relax as he gestures while he talks and that warm feeling is back.

I wonder what kind of package he’s working with in those pants of his? He’s not a huge guy, but he sure as hell carries himself like he’s got a giant schlong. I would not be surprised if he was packing some serious equipment in there. I bet it could do some real damage…all that anger has to go somewhere. And I bet he knows how to use it, too. Probably could bang you right through a fucking wall –"

“Think twelve inches is too big?”

You drop your fork onto your plate with a loud clang as Five’s question snaps you out of your perverted daydream. Your face is suddenly very hot.

“What?” you ask in a wide-eyed panic.

Five and Klaus both give you a weird look.

“The shelving unit to put under the bathroom sink, remember I was telling you about them the other day? What do you think about the size?” Klaus explains.

“Oh, right. Uh…I don’t know,” you stammer.

Five turns back to Klaus. “It might be a little tight but I bet I could make it fit. Probably have to shove it in there really good, though.”

At that, you dissolve in a burst of nervous laughter that has the other two looking at you like you’ve lost your mind. You can’t stop laughing, though, and you cover your mouth with your hand while your body shakes uncontrollably.

Five and Klaus exchange confused glances. “Ok…weird,” Klaus says before going back to his waffles.

After a good thirty seconds of hyperventilating, you finally calm down enough and you wipe the tears from your eyes.

Five points a fork at you. “What the hell was that?”

You shake your head, suppressing another round of laughter. “Nothing, I was just thinking of something from earlier. You had to be there.”

“Clearly.”

After a few more minutes of silence, Klaus turns to you. “I know you’ve been worried about this loan and making sure you have everything in order. I’m no good at that kind of thing, but our boy Cinco over here probably is. Maybe he can look things over for you.”

“Oh!” You turn to Five. “Really? You’re good with finances and all that?”

“I’m good at everything, so by default I’m also good at finances,” he answers offhandedly, not looking up from his plate.

“Oh, right, silly me. I forgot, you’re a goddamn genius.”

He looks up and nods without a hint of irony. “Correct. I am.”

You roll your eyes. “Ok, never mind, sorry I asked.”

“Alright, don’t get all huffy. If you want me to look things over, I can do that.”

“Well, if it’s not cutting too much into your time of sucking your own dick, then that would be great.”

Klaus lets out a loud laugh and Five raises one eyebrow as he leans back and drapes his arm over the back of the booth with a smirk. “I think I can pencil you in somewhere.” He picks up his coffee mug, stopping just before he takes a drink. “Incidentally, that would have been another skill I could have used during those solitary years. But, alas, as brilliant as I am, I found I lack the flexibility.”

You bite at the inside of your cheek to stifle your laughter. “There’s a visual I don’t need.”

Klaus nearly chokes on his food. “Holy shit, did you actually try that? I’m not saying I haven’t myself, but I just didn’t think you…well, I guess there were a lot of lonely hours to kill, so like what did you try first? Rolling up in a ball, or –"

You slap a hand over his mouth. “Ok then! I can see this conversation is headed in a very weird direction, so I am just going to excuse myself and head to work now.”

After you gather up your bag, Klaus gets up to let you out of the booth. As you hoist the heavy tote over your shoulder, you address Five. “If you really are serious, I would be glad to have your help.”

“I was serious.”

“Thank you. Would you be available later today around 4? You can come by the café. I’ll even make you some coffee.”

“Sure. See you then.”

You give him a smile and then turn to Klaus. “See you later?”

“Absolutely. I’ll be around.”

Klaus leans down to kiss you, which is nothing out of the ordinary of course, but you feel weird being so affectionate in front of Five and you break the kiss off quicker than normal. You say goodbye to them both and as you go to leave, Klaus gives you a slap on the ass. When you turn to give him a fake scowl, you catch Five looking at you. He’s watching you with that intense look of his that you still have trouble reading the meaning behind. Whatever it is, though, you’re finding that you kind of like it.

Chapter Two: Fivey Junior

As I leave the diner and Klaus goes off to do whatever the hell Klaus does, I stand on the sidewalk outside for a minute or two. My hands in my pants pockets, I lean up against the building and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. What the fuck am I doing?

It’s true I wanted nothing to do with her in the beginning. I’m tired of having to deal with Klaus’s random friends and whatever stray he decides to bring home for a week or two. They usually end up making a mess, drinking all of my good beer, and eating my Grape Nuts cereal. But then they are eventually gone and he moves on to the next one. Men and women. Sometimes both at the same time. It’s exhausting just watching him and I honestly have no idea how he does it. I’m definitely too old for that shit. Meanwhile, though, I have to live with it.

So, when she showed up, I could not have cared less. Just add it to the long line of other free loaders. But then she stuck around longer than usual. She was there most mornings and most nights. I couldn’t turn around without finding another stupid pink hair tie of hers and there was suddenly strawberry scented shampoo in the shower. According to Klaus things were not serious between them, but he liked having her around and apparently she felt the same about him.

Then, that day she grabbed my arm and accused me of being a mean old man, well I may have shifted my opinion of her just slightly. No one ever challenges me and they certainly never grab me like that. Not without a serious death wish, anyway. But when she did it, I don’t know why, but I didn’t mind. I hadn’t spent enough time around her to really study her up close, but once she was in my face, calling me rude, I could see the little speckles in her eyes. And see how pink her lips were and smell that strawberry shampoo. When I shook her hand, it felt soft and warm.

It was like she made it a personal mission of hers to wear me down, and I have to admit it really fucking worked. She’s nice and bubbly and sunshiny all the time, and that should be the most irritating goddamn thing in the world, but for some reason it’s not. She also calls me out on my bullshit, which no one ever does, outside of my family, and so I have to admire her for that.

That morning when she made me coffee for the first time, that sealed the deal. Not because it was damn good coffee, because it was. It was that she genuinely wanted to talk to me. I have no idea why; she wasn’t wrong when she called me rude before. Still, as much as I didn’t mind the company, I wasn’t going to put too much effort in. I figured she’d be gone soon enough.

The days that followed, though, she was still there. And now every morning I meet her in the kitchen and we sit and chat and drink our coffee. And it’s nice. Nice enough that I make sure to get up extra early every day just to have that time with her to myself. She’s intelligent and funny, and almost as much of a sarcastic smart-ass as myself.

She’s beautiful, too. I can’t stop watching her any time she’s around me. Whatever she’s doing, I’m mesmerized and I have to remind myself to stop staring like a creep. I like the way she moves with confidence around me and the way she gestures with her hands when she talks. I like her voice in the morning when it’s still a little raspy from sleep. I try not to look at the rest of her body, because I know she’s technically too young for me and I’m being a gross old man, but fuck, she is sexy. I know why Klaus likes her. She really is fucking delightful.

This morning I really didn’t want to get breakfast. After I saw Klaus stroking her hair like that, the last thing I wanted to do was see more of the two of them shoved in my face. When she berated me for not going, though, I had a hard time saying no again. She seems to be able to do that to me. But then what just happened back there in the diner? Was I flirting ? Did I actually wink at her while talking about my dick? Holy shit, did I just tell her I tried to suck my own dick? Yes. Yes, I did.

I drop my head back on the brick building, hard, and groan. What is wrong with me? I am a grown ass man. I am not some love-struck teenager with a hard on for every girl that looks in my direction. I do not pine for women. And let’s not gloss over the fact that she’s dating Klaus, my actual brother. They might not be serious, but that’s a pretty shitty thing to do. Fuck, I need to get a life.

And now, because Klaus is completely oblivious and also apparently thinks I have too much free time on my hands, I am committed to seeing her again today. Of course I don’t mind helping her and I’m happy to do it, but I’m nervous just thinking about it. Why should I be, though? It’s just us talking over coffee like we have been for several mornings now. The only thing different is that it will be in an outside location. At her coffee shop. Just the two of us, no Klaus. Almost like… I swear to god if you even entertain that idea right now… date.

“God fucking fuck damn it FUCK!” I yell out loud on the street while I kick at the brick wall with my good shoes, scuffing them up in the process.

Several people are looking at me like I’m an insane person and a couple of them are crossing the street to get away from the raving lunatic trying to beat up a building. To avoid the concerned stares, I blink away and reappear a few streets over. I might as well keep walking, maybe that will clear my head and stop with all these ridiculous thoughts.

It’s a nice day, at least, and I end up at a park, taking a seat on a bench as I wallow in my own self-pity. There’s an older man on the bench next to me, reaching into a bag of bread and throwing the crumbs out to the pigeons gathering around his feet. He looks over at me and I give him a nod of approval, thinking that looks like a nice way to pass the time, but have you seen the price of bread these days? I lean forward and put my head in my hands, groaning out loud at myself while my pigeon friend gives me the side eye.

One thing that has started happening since she came along is that I sometimes forget my real age. I was at least able to age myself up by 8 years or so when we arrived in this timeline, thanks to some tricky time-math and a whole lot of luck, but I’m still well older than my body portrays me. It used to shock the hell out of me every time I’d pass by a mirror and see a stranger looking back at me. Then, after a while, I got used to it and I’m not going to complain; trading your broken old body in for a new model definitely has its perks. No more aching bones, tired muscles, or mysterious bruises that seem to appear out of nowhere. And I won’t get started on the new and improved libido, but suffice to say it’s a nice bonus.

Even though I have gotten used to the newer, younger me, I have never felt young mentally. I have remained the same stubborn old man that has resided in my head for decades now. It’s a weird contradiction to have the energy to stay out all night, yet still rather be at home catching up on this season’s Antiques Roadshow. But this is the first time in the last few years that I’ve started to feel more like my younger self. And maybe it’s because I don’t want to feel like a dirty old man, lusting after a woman more than half my age. That is definitely part of it, but the other part is that she just makes me forget. She makes me feel younger.

The hours are dragging by, but I still don’t feel like going home, so I continue to wander around. I come to the conclusion that I am being a selfish, delusional bastard and I just need to cut it out. If I really think about it and start psychoanalyzing myself, there’s a clear reason why I’m having all of these misdirected feelings. It’s obvious that my years of solitude have left me ill equipped when it comes to forming human relationships. In my still-infantile mind, a simple friendship between a man and woman has manifested itself into something more, because it doesn’t know the difference. The chemicals in my brain are confused and don’t know when and how to release themselves at the appropriate times.

I know that dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are produced upon initial attraction to another person, and that oxytocin is released when you presume you are in love. Everyone knows that. So, it’s obvious that I just need to reprogram my brain so that it is not confusing mutual amicability with something more. As usual, if you approach something from a scientific aspect and remove emotions from the equation, problems become much easier to solve. Simple science makes everything so much clearer.

It’s finally close to 4pm when I’m supposed to meet her at the café, so I start making my way over there. I have a new outlook on this meeting now. I am happy to look over her finances and make any suggestions that I see could be helpful. If she asks for my opinion, I’ll give it. Then, I will take my leave, go home, and continue on with my life. No more of this internal longing bullshit.

Then I arrive there and…well, fuck. So much for science.

I am standing outside of the café looking in through the windows and I can see her in there. She’s standing next to one of the tables, talking with another woman who is sitting down with a mug in front of her. I obviously can’t hear her, but I watch as her face breaks into a beautiful smile and she laughs. A laugh I can hear in my mind because I’ve memorized it. She crosses her arms over her chest, which squeezes her breasts together and accentuates her cleavage. When she finishes her conversation and walks back towards the counter at the front, my eyes travel down to her round butt bouncing along in the tight jeans she’s wearing.

“Excuse me.”

I am snapped out of my voyeuristic weirdness by an annoyed voice belonging to a woman behind me. Apparently, I’m blocking the doorway and she would like to enter the building. I open the door for her and she walks past me while I try to get a grip. I follow the woman inside and up to the counter.

When she sees me, she smiles and I automatically shove my hands in my pockets to try and portray an air of casualness.

“Hey there, Fivey,” she says with a big shit-eating grin.

I shake my head and attempt to look mad. “Do not call me that. It’s bad enough Klaus does.”

“It’s so cute, though! It’s like his little pet name for you.”

“I’m not sure why my idiot brother feels the need to make my name even weirder than it already is.”

She snorts out a laugh and then bites her bottom lip, and honestly both of those things are going to send me through the roof, she’s so fucking cute.

“Ok, so no nickname, fair enough. Still willing to help me out?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

She turns away, but not before I see an eyeroll, as she grabs a coffee cup and fills it up, handing it over the counter to me.

“Here you are. One free coffee. As promised.”

“Thanks. I can pay for it though, you don’t really have to give it to me.”

“No please, just take it. I promise I won’t think you are ungentlemanly for it,” she says with a small smile and I can see she’s obviously teasing me about my comment in the diner earlier.

“You make fun of me, but one of the perks of being with an older man is that we know how to take care of our ladies.”

It just came out of my mouth without thinking and I can feel my face getting hot. I’m just praying that she can’t see me blushing. What the hell is going on with me?

“Oh, is that so? I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, then,” she says with a flirty tone.

I have no idea what to say next without sounding like a complete asshole, so I just don’t say anything and instead take a sip of my coffee.

She clears her throat. “Well, let me go grab my stuff and we can sit down at one of the tables.”

She disappears into the back for a minute, returning with her heavy looking tote bag from earlier. I follow her over to a small two-top table and we sit across from one another. As she fishes around in her bag and unloads her laptop and some file folders, I watch as a lock of hair falls in front her face and all I can think about is reaching over and tucking it behind her ear. Obviously, I do not do this.

I look over all of her financial information and everything looks like it’s in order. When I start asking about something I’m reading on her laptop, she gets annoyed that she can’t see the screen well, and so she comes around to my side of the table, sitting directly next to me. I can smell that strawberry shampoo again and our legs brush together. I swallow nervously.

“I think everything looks good here. Your credit scores are high, you have no debts, and you’re asking for a reasonable amount. I don’t really see why they would deny you.”

“Do you think so? I know it’s stupid, but I’m so nervous! The meeting with the bank is tomorrow morning.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“It’s just…if I don’t get this loan I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve put so much into this place, I already feel like it’s my own. But I’m not going to work as a coffee shop manager for the rest of my life. I at least want to be a business owner. You know, something I can be proud of.”

I nod. “I think you should be proud of yourself no matter what.”

She scoffs a little. “Ok, thanks Dad,” she says sarcastically.

Just like that, I come crashing down to reality as I’m reminded who I really am. I am not a 20-something year old. I am old enough to be her actual dad. And while that really has no bearing on anything, considering nothing is going to happen between us anyway, it’s still a kick in the nuts. She must see it on my face, because I see her cringe.

“That was a joke. I don’t actually think of you as a dad.”

“I know.” My voice is clipped as I try to hide my embarrassment.

She leans into me and bumps my shoulder with hers in a friendly gesture. “Thank you. For helping me with this.”

“You didn’t need my help. You’ve got this.”

“Well, thank you anyway. And thank you for putting up with me. I know I annoy you by always hanging around your place.”

"It’s true, you are a giant pain in the ass,” I say with a smile. “But, as giant pains in the asses go, you’re not so bad.”

“Aw…thanks Fivey!”

She laughs at my irritated face, which I am only making to keep up the façade. She can call me anything she wants, really. I don’t mind.

I am sitting at home the next afternoon, when she comes bursting through the door of the apartment. She's absolutely bouncing up and down with glee and when she sees Klaus she runs over to him and he picks her up in a big bear hug. She has on what I assume to be her business attire from her bank meeting, and I can’t stop staring. It’s a tight pencil skirt with a short, fitted blazer on top and black high heels. When Klaus lifts her up, her jacket pulls up in the back and I am treated to a very small window of her bare skin just above the waist of her skirt. I’m not sure if I want to look there, or down a little bit lower to wear the material is hugging her hips and ass.

“I got it!” she shrieks and kisses Klaus before he sets her down again.

“That’s great, babe!” he tells her.

Then she turns to me, as I stand there staring like a dope. Before I know it she has her arms wrapped around me and my face is covered by her hair as she hooks her chin over my shoulder. I don’t know what to do, I’m practically paralyzed with shock. I can’t even bring my arms up to hug her back, so they just stay limply at my sides. I take a breath and close my eyes, inhaling the scent of her hair and skin. She lets go of me and steps back and my immediate impulse is to pull her right back into me again. But I don’t. Instead, I just continue doing nothing.

“I cannot thank you enough, Five. You helped me do this.”

“I…I really didn’t do anything.”

“Well, you gave me the confidence I needed and made me feel like I knew what I was doing before I went in there. So, thank you. Really.”

She is smiling so genuinely and sweetly at me and I just can’t believe she is giving me any credit for anything. But I figure if I keep putting off her compliments she’ll get annoyed, so instead, I get weird and flustered.

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome. No problem.” I look from her to Klaus and back again. “Alright, well I’m going to leave you two dimwits to yourselves. See you later.” Then I blink away before either of them can respond.

It’s the next morning and I wake up early, but I don’t get up to meet her for coffee this time. I can’t keep torturing myself like this and pretending we have some sort of connection is just sad and pathetic. The truth is, she is with Klaus right now. Maybe they aren’t technically in a committed relationship, but she’s here in the apartment because of him, not me. And because they supposedly aren’t serious, that also means they will eventually tire of one another and one day she just won’t be here anymore. And it makes me fucking sick to even think about it.

Instead, I start thinking about her running into Klaus’s arms and kissing him yesterday. I hate how much that bothered me. I hate how much I wanted that to be me. I’m lying here in my bed, alone, and all I can think about is lifting her up in my arms, her body pressed to mine as she kisses me. It’s so fucking pathetic and yet, I can’t stop. I replay it over and over in my mind; her smile and her lips and the adorable way she would squeak if I squeezed her to me.

Soon, my pathetic little daydream has evolved into something much dirtier than a hug and kiss. I think about how her tits would feel pressed up against my chest. About how her firm ass would feel under my hands. And how badly I want her legs wrapped around my waist.

I groan sadly and palm my erection through my underwear. Fuck. Rather than sit and jerk off in my bed, I decide I should just head to the shower and kills two birds with one stone. The bathroom is directly across from my bedroom and I make the quick blink over so that I won’t have the humiliating experience of bumping into the person that’s responsible for my boner problem in the first place.

In the shower, my imagination runs wild. I obviously have never seen her naked, but I can certainly conjure up an image in my head that I decide is probably pretty close. I picture her straddling me, my cock deep inside of her, while she fucks me hard and fast. Those tits that I’ve only seen the outlines of through her t-shirts are bouncing up and down in front of my face and, Jesus Chris, it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. My hand is acting as a sad substitute for her tight cunt as I lean my head on my hand against the wall and close my eyes.

I imagine her moaning my name as she throws her head back and works her hips harder and faster on top of me. I can feel her soft flesh as my fingers dig into her sides and push her down; all the while thrusting my own hips up because I can’t get enough. As a final act of delusion, I throw her off of me and flip her over. I pound into her from behind, listening as she cries and sobs from the intensity of it all. I hear her pleading, telling me she’s sorry for ever wanting anyone else but me; that it will only be me from now on. I urge her on as I penetrate her harder, demanding she fucks only me from now on. She is mine and I’ll be goddamned if anyone else is going to touch her from here on out.

I’m only yours, Five…you’re all I want…all I need. I love—

“Hey, Klaus, have you seen my…Oh shit!”

The sound of her voice in real life has me floundering, trying to remember what the fuck is going on, and I turn around just in time to see her horrified face which mirrors mine. Our eyes lock for what has to be a fraction of a second, but feels like an eternity, and I see her glance briefly downward and then back up again.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she stammers, before quickly closing the shower curtain with a flourish.

I don’t know what to say or do, and there’s no time to do it anyway, as I stand there with my eyes wide and my dick in my hands. I hear the bathroom door slam shut and I’m left alone again. If I have felt shameful or embarrassed about any of my actions in the past, they are nothing compared with what I’m feeling now.

I want to die. I want to dissolve into liquid form and slip down the drain, washing away with all the other filth and disappearing into the sewers. I quickly contemplate my options. I’m a smart guy, I can come up with something. I could blink away and never return to this apartment ever again. Klaus might wonder what happened to me, but eventually he’d get over it. After all, it’s not the first time I’ve vanished without a trace. I could try some serious time travel again, maybe jumping backwards this time. Give the 1800s a try; live out the rest of my days doing something mundane like a blacksmith or a chimney sweep.

Instead, I just stand there, the shame and embarrassment washing over me. The most fucked up thing is that I’m still hard. I saw her face and her shock and it still didn’t dissuade my traitorous hormones. I need to finish and I’m horrified at the thought. Not horrified enough, though, because I start stroking myself again. I keep picturing her in my mind, even though I know she knows what I am doing and maybe that’s part of why I like it.

In some psychotic part of my brain, I like that she saw me jerking off. She doesn’t know that it was her I was thinking of, but I can start to convince myself that she might like it. She might like that I was fucking my hand to images of her naked body on top of mine. She might actually be flattered that I’m thinking of her riding me hard and fast and violently. That I’m imagining her moaning my name and coming around my cock.

A few more seconds of vigorous self-pleasuring and my hand is stilling as I unleash ropes of cum over my stomach and onto the shower floor. It mixes with the water and rushes down the drain as my eyes clench tightly shut and I groan as quietly as I can through gritted teeth. It’s bad enough she saw me in here, she doesn’t need to hear me, too.

After I am milked dry, and my breathing starts to slow again, I let go of my shrinking dick and wash myself off. I feel like the loser of the century. She’s probably out there right now, telling Klaus all about it and laughing. They’re probably discussing how sad I am and how much I really need to get a life. And they’d be right.

Once I’m cleaned off and dressed again, I listen closely from inside my room, trying to determine if she’s still here or not. After a while, I still haven’t heard signs of anyone else, and I figure the coast is clear. I blink out of my room and head towards the kitchen. I need a fucking drink and I don’t even care that it’s still morning. Anything to help erase this horrifying feeling.

In the kitchen, I’m looking through the cupboard where we keep the booze, trying to decide if it’s a vodka or a whiskey kind of morning, when I hear soft foot-steps and a gentle clearing of a throat. Fuck. Can I just get a fucking break once in a while? My spine stiffens and I think of just blinking out of there without even turning around, but then she starts talking to me.

“Hey, so…I am so sorry for busting in on you like that. Klaus had said he was going to take a shower, so I just assumed that was him in there, and I was looking for my slippers that I thought I left in the bathroom, and that was really stupid of me to just assume that…I am really very sorry, I would never have, if I had known it was you, obviously I wouldn’t have, but like I said, I thought it was Klaus, and…ugh…I’m sorry. I hope this isn’t going to make things weird.”

I almost laugh at her run-on sentence of stammering apologies. Almost. Instead, I grab a bottle of vodka and turn around with a glare.

“So, when exactly are you leaving?”

She hesitates. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, when are you getting the fuck out of here? I realize you and Klaus are having fun playing house or whatever the fuck it is you do around here, but this is my apartment, too. In fact, it’s more mine than his, since I pay the bulk of the rent. And I don’t remember asking for a third roommate.”

I see a brief look of hurt cross her face before she is challenging back. “Look, just because I accidentally walked in on you, doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole about it. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? I’m not embarrassed, sweetheart, so don't flatter yourself. And this has nothing to do with that. I’m just wondering when I can look forward to not seeing your face every time I turn around in my own goddamn house!”

She nods, her lips pursed together, and her hands on her hips. “Alright, Five, you win. I thought maybe we were beginning to be friends, but I can see that is not the case. I will do my best to stay out of your way. I’m sorry for any inconveniences I’ve caused you.”

After another few seconds of angry glaring, she turns around and leaves. I take the stopper out of the vodka and tip the entire bottle back, swallowing at least three full gulps before I can’t take the burning in my throat and stomach anymore. I don’t know why I’m like this. I don’t know why I have to be a fucking dick to everyone, especially the people I care about. Well, I guess I should look on the bright side. I won’t have to worry about letting my true feelings out around her. Because now she wants nothing to do with me.

Chapter Three: Crazy Train

It was bad, there was no mistaking it. And it was all your fault; at least the beginning part. You certainly hadn’t meant to walk in on him in the shower. You really had assumed it was Klaus in there. You had been wrong. Very, very wrong. So, yeah, you really fucked that one up.

Things had been going so well, too. You were actually getting along and finding that you really liked spending time with Five. You assumed he liked spending time with you, too, even though he never came right out and said so. Although, with him, you doubted he would ever admit to that. But you knew he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered even speaking to you, let alone hanging out with you.

Even though you’re the one who did the unannounced shower barge-in, you still think he’s overreacting. Sure, you saw him completely naked, but it was only for a couple of seconds and it’s not like you haven’t seen a naked man before. And sure, you are like 99% positive he was banging out some knuckle babies while he was in there, but that part is not your fault. How were you to know there would be some salami slapping going on in there when you opened the curtain?

Now he’s pissed off at you and has gone back to his old, dickish ways. He’s barely acknowledging you anymore and he stopped coming into the kitchen for coffee in the mornings. You understand he’s probably embarrassed, but he should be able to get over it, for fuck’s sake. He’s always claiming he’s the mature one around here, but he sure as hell isn’t acting like it right now.

You definitely think he should be able to move on from that little incident, but you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, either. Although, not for the same reasons. It had only been a couple of seconds if that, but that image has been burned into your brain. And not necessarily in a bad way. In that tiny glimpse that you got, it did not disappoint.

You keep finding yourself staring off, lost in another inappropriate daydream, as you remember exactly what he had looked like. Wet, naked, and clearly aroused, it was enough of a picture to keep you occupied. If men have spank banks, what do you call it for women? Rub hub? Finger vault? Whatever it is, that image is in yours now. And, fuck, it’s a good one.

Klaus has an amazing body, there’s no doubt about that. He’s lithe and toned and has a cinched-in waist that you’re envious of. But when you saw Five’s body…holy shit. He’s a little more solid than Klaus, and his muscles are well-defined but not huge. His chest is smooth and firm, and his abs look like they’re cut from stone, all the way down to the soft line of hair trailing southward to the main event. From the quick peek you had gotten of the goods in his hand, he either somehow used his powers to beef himself up, or that may have been the one thing in his tragic life that he lucked out on. Because, damn. Combine that with a tight ass, the water cascading down his body, and his dark, wet hair pushed off his face, and that is definitely enough to give you some material for the next time you’re double-clicking your mouse.

It's a week after “the incident”, and you have just come back from work and it’s late. You haven’t been over to see Klaus in a few days because you’ve been so busy, but you decide to stop by because you know he’ll still be up. Plus, you’re feeling the need to get some sexual release that isn’t in the form of your hand or vibrator, and you know he’ll be up for that, too.

You don’t see Five anywhere, which is probably a good thing, and you and Klaus hang out in the living room for a while, having a couple of drinks and catching up. When you decide to head to the bedroom, that’s when Five makes his presence known. Loudly.

Mid-make out and partially undressed, the two of you hear the pounding bass and blaring guitar riff of AC/DC’s “Back in Black” coming from Five’s bedroom. He is blasting it at full volume and as much as you like listening to Brian Johnson scream at the top of his lungs, it’s not really setting the mood at the moment. You ignore it for a little while longer, trying to focus on Klaus’s hands working their way down between your legs. When it’s clear you’re not really into it, he stops.

“What’s wrong?”

You huff. “Seriously? Isn’t this annoying you, too?”

Klaus shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s not that bad. I like loud music, and Five has good taste.”

“Well, it’s distracting and you know he’s doing it on purpose. It’s just rude.”

“Just ignore it.”

He pulls you on top of him, and you straddle his waist. But when you lean down to kiss him again, it’s clear you are not going to be able to get your mind in the game; not with the walls shaking from the constant pulse of the mini-rock concert going on down the hall. You let out another frustrated growl.

“I’m going to go say something,” you tell Klaus, pushing yourself off of him.

He props himself up on his elbows. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

You roll your eyes. “Please. What’s he doing to do? I’m not scared of him.”

“Right, no, I know. Me either. But…”

“But, what?”

“You know, he’s just…testy.”

As you’re getting off the bed, you give Klaus an exasperated look. “He’s a big man baby is what he is. And I’m tired of his shit.”

Before Klaus can say anything more, you’re walking out the door and heading to the source of the music. The song has now switched over to “Crazy Train”. You pound on the door to Five’s room, waiting with your arms folded across your chest. That’s when you remember you are not wearing a bra. Or pants. You only have a loose-fitting t-shirt on and some ridiculous underwear with cartoon cats on them because you haven’t done laundry in a while and all your good panties are in the wash. Luckily, the shirt covers up most of your crotch area.

You’re not getting an answer, so you pound the door with your fist again. Mid-pound, the door swings open wide, the blaring music becoming even louder. Five is already in the middle of a rant.

“Klaus, I have told you a thousand fucking times, I do not have your lighter…oh.”

Five stops mid-sentence when he realizes it’s you. He’s standing there shirtless, with only his black pants on, belt unbuckled and hanging open. His hair is disheveled, and he seems to be swaying slightly; holding onto the door for balance. That’s when you notice he has a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He looks at you for a second, his hooded eyes slowly moving over your body with his mouth partially open before his face changes and he smirks.

He takes another swig of whiskey from the bottle before addressing you. “Something I can help you with, princess?”

You’re stunned into silence for a beat or two, trying to process the fact that you are once again blessed with another glimpse of his body, as well as the fact that he is drunk. You hesitate with your mouth hanging open like a moron, which Five obviously notices because he has that damn arrogant look on his face again. Finally, you snap out of it.

“Is there a reason you’re blaring your music that loud right now?” you demand.

“Yeah, there is. Because it’s my fucking room and I can do what I want in it.”

“God, you are such a dick! I know you’re doing it on purpose just to piss me off.”

Five shakes his head slowly and takes another drink. “Sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart, but not everything is about you. Pissing you off in the process is a definite perk, though.”

You ball your hands up at your side and grit your teeth. “I’m not buying any of your bullshit, Five. I know you’re mad at me, and that’s fine. But you’re acting like a fucking child right now!”

“I think you’re mistaken. I’m not the one who can’t stand to be alone for more than a few hours. I’m not the one that needs constant attention and validation from someone. So who’s the child now, hmm?”

“What are you talking about? I do not.”

He grins. “Oh yeah? Want to tell me what you’re doing here all the time then? Why you’re here when you have a perfectly good apartment of your own to go to? ‘Cause I bet it’s not because of my brother.”

That throws you off a little and you don’t immediately have a comeback. Five snorts derisively. You narrow your eyes.

“Fuck you!” you spit out.

Five raises an eyebrow and lets out a short laugh. “Ohhh…maybe that’s why you’re always here. Well, sorry, honey. Hate to disappoint you, but you’re not my type.”

With your own sarcastic smile, you shoot back. “I know I’m not, honey. From what I’ve seen, I’m guessing you prefer to take matters into your own hands if you know what I’m saying.” That seems to have shut him up and he stands there, clinging to the door frame with his hair hanging in his face. Before you let him think of another comeback you give him a tiny wave and turn around. “I’ll leave you and Mr. Daniels to it, then. Remember, Fivey, don’t go too hard at it. I hear carpal tunnel is a real bitch.”

As you walk away, you hear the door slam behind you. You’re irritated and pissed off. And now you are horny. How the fuck is that possible? Well, there’s a good solution for that, and it’s waiting in the other room for you. You stalk over to Klaus’s room, making sure to leave the door slightly ajar. Klaus is still on the bed on his back and he’s lit up a joint in the process. When he sees you enter, he sits up.

“Oh, good, you’re alive. How did that go?”

“Great,” you say under your breath.

Then you are pulling your shirt over your head and yanking your underwear off. You immediately climb onto the bed and over the top of Klaus, grabbing the joint and tossing it into the ashtray at the side of the bed. He’s shocked when instead of saying anything, you lean down, grabbing his face in both hands and forcefully kissing him. After a moment his hands are on your hips and he’s smiling against your mouth.

“That’s more like it,” he says before you’re devouring his mouth again.

You don’t want to talk and you don’t need any more foreplay. You just want to fuck. Hard and rough, and loud. Luckily, Klaus is already pretty fired up and you can feel him hard underneath you as you straddle him. He still has his briefs on, so you hastily tug them off. If he’s wondering why you’re all of a sudden trying to mount him like a wild dog in heat, he doesn’t say anything. He seems pretty happy when you line yourself up and sink onto his dick, letting it fill you up in one shove. You let out a whine before looking down at him.

“I want to fuck. Hard,” you tell him in between gasping breaths.

“Yeah, baby, fuck me as hard as you want,” he rasps before smacking your ass and giving you a sly smile.

“Don’t talk. Just fuck,” you instruct him.

He obviously doesn’t care that you’re ordering him around, because his hands are on your tits as you start riding him fast and hard. You don’t even work up to it, you’re just pounding yourself onto his cock and you can already feel the beads of sweat starting to form on your skin. You’ve never been this worked up in your life, and you have no idea why. That’s not true; you know exactly why. You just don’t want to admit it, even to yourself.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you work as hard as you can, thrusting your hips back and forth and grunting with the effort. Throwing your head back, you cry out as loudly as you can, practically screaming at the top of your lungs. If the neighbors can hear you, it probably sounds like you’re being murdered to the soundtrack of Ozzy Osbourne right now. You’re making as much noise as possible; crying, wailing, and begging for more. And it’s all on purpose because you want a certain someone to know what he’s missing out on. Klaus is either shocked into submission by your sudden change in demeanor, or he’s in heaven. Either way, he’s not saying anything.

With your eyes closed, and no voice attached to the body you’re penetrating yourself with, you start to imagine what you’ve been trying to push out of your mind. You might hate him at the moment and think he’s a total asshole, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to climb on top of him like a spider monkey and fuck his brains out.

In your mind, it’s not Klaus anymore, it’s Five. And you want more of him, even though that’s not physically possible. You run your hands down his perfect chest and abdomen, clutching at his thighs as you lean back to get a different angle. He’s watching you with those piercing eyes, looking up at you with that damn smirk of his.

“That’s right baby, fuck Daddy hard.”

Whoa, Daddy? Where the fuck did that come from? Shit, I have some real problems.

There’s no time to dwell on that psychological component because you just can’t get enough. His hands are on your hips and then on your ass, long fingers gripping tightly into you and pushing you even further down onto his cock. You’re still crying out, moaning loudly while you lean down to kiss him. You can feel his hand in your hair and his lips pressed against yours as you continue to rock into him.

“You feel so good, sweetheart. Don’t stop,” he’s saying in that husky voice of his.

“I need more,” you’re pleading and he laughs at you.

“Tell Daddy what you want, darling.”

Fuck, what is happening to me?

You don’t know what’s happening to you, other than you’re so fucking wet, you feel like you’re going to slide right off of Klaus’s dick and onto the floor. You open your eyes, stop your crazy thrusts, and abruptly climb off. Klaus lets out a hiss at the sudden loss of your warm, wet walls clenched around him.

“Fuck me from behind,” you pant, even as you’re already getting into position on your hands and knees.

“Shit,” he’s murmuring under his breath, but he doesn’t argue.

You feel him behind you and the anticipation is driving you crazy. When he slams into you, hips smacking against your ass and his hands pulling you backward hard and fast, you let out a sound that might be close to a sob. Your fists clench the bedsheets and from this angle, you don’t have to keep your eyes closed to slip back into your imaginary sex fantasy.

Five is behind you, plowing you so forcibly that it’s hard to keep yourself steady. It feels so fucking good, and everything you’ve been wanting. You don’t know how he’s weaseled his way into your head like this, but it probably has something to do with that goddamn body of his. Or his impossibly handsome face. Or those hands. Fuck, you want those hands on you and in you, and doing whatever else he pleases with them.

“Tell me,” he demands as he rams into you over and over again. “Tell me what you want. Let me give it to you.”

“Oh god…please…don’t stop fucking me!”

You’re not even sure if you said that out loud or not, but it doesn’t matter. His hand comes around to finger you while he rails you as hard as possible. You’re going to lose it any second now, you can feel it. His fingers are pressing against your clit and he continues talking to you inside your head; telling you everything you are dying to hear.

“You like it when Daddy fucks you like this, don’t you? When I fuck you so hard you can’t think straight?”

“Yes…yes,” you’re whining over and over again.

His hands are working their magic while his impressive cock is driving into your pussy. No one has made your body react like this before and you want to cry from the sheer overload of emotions.

“Let me hear you, sweet girl. You know what you want.”

“I want you! Oh fuck…you’re going to make me come,” you whimper.

“Say it again,” he snarls. “Say it again and scream my name when I make you come.”

“I want you! I want you so fucking badly. Please…keep fucking me…I need…oh god yes! Fii—fff-fuck!”

You catch yourself right at the last second as your orgasm rips through you, creating shocks of pleasure all throughout your body. Your muscles are contracting and your skin is hot and tingling. You are moaning like you are in pain and the sheets underneath you are balled tightly in your fists. There is a layer of sweat over your entire body and your breaths are coming out in ragged gasps. You are vaguely aware of Klaus behind you, gripping your hips while he lets loose with his own climax.

Several seconds pass while neither of you move. After a while, he pulls out and you fall onto your stomach, sprawled out and completely spent.

“Holy. Shit,” Klaus breathes out as he runs a hand down your back. “Where the hell did that come from?”

You laugh softly and push your hair out of your face. “I don’t know. I guess I was just a little wound up.”

“A little wound up? Shit, babe, I’m fairly certain the authorities have been alerted by several people in this building. In which case, I should probably hide some shit.”

You move your tired body and sit up, your legs shaking. You feel bad that you went a little crazy on him, especially considering the entire smutty movie that had been playing in your head the entire time. The one that didn’t involve Klaus in any way. You smile and shrug, then start moving off the bed to gather up your clothes.

“I know, that was a little over the top. Sorry.”

Klaus shakes his head and picks up the joint out of the ashtray you had thrown it in and takes a hit. After exhaling a cloud of smoke into the air, he studies you with creased eyebrows.

“Do not apologize for that. Ever.” Then he pauses before that sly grin starts spreading over his face. “Wait a minute, I know what was different. What probably lit a fire in your kitty cat panties. Old Fivey in there!”

You are in the process of tugging your shirt back over your head and your face isn’t visible to him, which is a damn good thing because it is probably beet red at the moment. You take an extra long time to pull it down over your head and you try and keep your composure.

“That’s ridiculous! I am not hot for Five!”

Klaus lets out a small giggle and shakes his head. “No, no, not like that. I meant I bet it was that crazy sexy hard rock he’s been pumping out of his room. Gets you all pumped up, too, doesn’t it? I don’t blame you though, fucking to loud music with a pounding bassline like that is amazing.”

You let out a sigh of relief and then laugh. “Yeah, you’re right, it does kind of get me going. That must have been it. Not to mention I haven’t been over in a while. I needed to let off some pent-up sexual frustration.”

Klaus bows and it’s hilarious because he’s still naked with a joint in his hand. “Glad to be of service, madam.”

You walk over and pat him on the butt. “Thank you. As always, you know how to deliver.”

“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

It had been your intention to head home for the rest of the night, but now that you’re here and Klaus is offering, you don’t really want to go back to your apartment alone. You like staying here in Klaus’s bed, with his body heat warming you up as you lie next to him, quietly chatting together until you drift off to sleep. Sometimes you’ll be on the very edge of sleep and he’ll whisper something so stupid and off the wall that you can’t help laughing and you’re awake again, with no hope of sleep after that.

But if you stay, that means Five was right about you. You really do come over because you don’t like being alone. You don’t need constant attention from anyone, that part is not true, but you like the companionship. Even if you and Klaus stopped having sex, you’d still want to come over all the time. You like hanging out with him and even on the occasions he’s not there, the apartment feels cozier and more lived in than yours. You have thought about getting a roommate, but all of your current friends are either in serious relationships or prefer to live alone. The thought of trying to advertise for a stranger to move in and then interview people to decide if you want to share your space with them seems exhausting. So, you’d rather just stay here as often as you can.

Even though you just mind-fucked him like crazy, you internally curse Five for reading you so correctly.

“Yeah, I’d like to if that’s ok.”

Klaus pulls on his underwear before flopping back on the bed. “Of course! You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to your brother. He’s been giving me a ration of shit lately about being around here so much,” you grumble as you crawl in next to him.

“I thought you two were getting along.”

“Well, we were, but then…” you almost let slip that you walked in on Five in the shower. You hadn’t told Klaus about that because you already felt bad for embarrassing the guy, you didn’t need to get anyone else involved. “I don’t know, I guess he changed his mind or something. Because now he definitely is not a fan of mine.”

Klaus frowns. “Hmm..well, that sucks. We should be the three amigos!”

“Pretty sure he does not want to be mi amigo at the moment.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Tell him to stop being such a grouch.”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to do that,” you protest.

“No, no, I want to. It’s important to me that he can get along with you. Five may be a scary, unhinged assassin who once threatened to kill me by describing in excruciating detail all of the steps he was going to take to do it. Like, he literally wrote them out on a yellow legal pad with graphics next to each one and handed it to me. I don’t remember the full list, but it involved a step ladder, some Elmer’s glue, and a toaster oven. Anyway, he may be scary like that, but he’s not all bad. He just needs to lighten up a little. Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.”

You laugh. “What did you do to piss him off that time?”

Klaus rolls his eyes and sighs. “Oh, I don’t know. It wasn’t a big deal. I may have accidentally eaten a large number of mushrooms and decided to strip naked and crawl into bed with him in the middle of the night.”

“I mean, that’s pretty funny but it doesn’t sound that bad.”

“Well, no, that part isn’t. It was when I started violently humping him from behind and licking his neck that he kind of got a little uppity about it.”

You start laughing harder. “You humped him and licked his neck?!”

“Yeah. I don’t really remember a lot of it, but apparently, I had him in a pretty good death grip while calling him “Alberto” and demanding to speak with his manager. I guess he was able to blink away just in time before I unloaded my high fructose porn syrup all over his superhero jammies.”

You are laughing so hard at that image that tears are rolling down your cheeks. “Ok, I understand why he wanted to kill you, now. You kind of had it coming.”

Klaus waves a hand flippantly in the air. “Now you sound just like him.”

The next morning, you get up before Klaus, just like always. As you make your way to the kitchen, you can hear rattling around in there and you pause. You think about heading back to the bedroom just to avoid any confrontation, but then you change your mind. You’re not going to hide from him. As you walk in, there is Five, busy making coffee. He looks like shit and you smile a little to yourself. Good, serves you right.

“’ Morning, sunshine!” you exclaim cheerily, just to piss him off. “You’re up early. I figured you’d be sleeping the day away after your little one-man frat party last night.”

He turns to you with a look that you know is intended to intimidate, but is not quite working considering he looks like death warmed over. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair is a tangled mess, and he’s still wearing the rumpled pants you had seen him in last night. And of course, he has not bothered to put on a shirt again. Jesus, will this guy put some clothes on and give me a fucking break?

“Oh, good, it’s you. I was worried maybe you had decided to fuck off and leave me alone. But, nope, here you are again.”

You give a snort and sit down at the kitchen table. You’re not really sure why you’re still there, but you don’t want him to think he’s scared you off so you stand your ground. Instead, you say nothing but start humming Pink’s “U + Ur Hand” under your breath. You know Five hears you because you can see his shoulders tense and his hands flex. You smile to yourself.

When he turns to you again, his arms crossed over his bare chest and his hair in his face, he leans against the counter and eyes you up with a malicious grin. You really wish he weren’t so damn good-looking because it’s very hard to keep up your little show when all you are really thinking about is jumping on top of him.

“That was a nice little performance you gave last night, by the way. I had assumed you were the type to just lie there and have someone else do all the work, but good to know my brother is at least getting something out of it.”

You straighten up in your seat. “You’re welcome. I figured the least I could do is give you some material to work with.”

Five nods with a smirk, not taking the bait. He uncrosses his arms and grabs onto the edge of the countertop behind him, leaning back casually. You are immediately drawn to his sculpted chest and abs and your eyes drift over the many faded scars scattered over his body.

“I could say the same to you, love,” he says.

He throws you off your game with that statement. You’re mostly sure he’s just trying to be an asshole and get under your skin, but what if he does know? What if you yelled something out while you were imagining him fucking you so hard your teeth rattled in your head? When you were calling him Daddy and riding him like he was Sea Biscuit? You feel caught and your face must betray you because suddenly he’s not looking so smug anymore.

You are both staring at one another, not saying a word, but the passive-aggressive tension in the air has changed to something else. The look between you seems to last forever, and you can feel the warmth spreading up your neck and onto your face. And maybe a little between your legs, as well. Just then, the coffee that Five had been making is done and the machine beeps loudly, startling you both.

He looks away first and pulls down a mug from the cabinet. You are surprised to see him grab a second one. He fills them both and then sets one down on the table, sliding it over to you with a push so that it sloshes over the side.

“Thanks,” you mumble, as you pick it up.

“Sure,” he responds grudgingly, and you can tell it’s killing him to be even moderately polite right now.

After a minute or so of neither of you talking, it is starting to get awkward. Someone needs to say something or leave. Instead, you just sip your hot coffee and pretend the tabletop is incredibly interesting. You decide to chance it and you clear your throat, but you don’t look up.

“Look, I’m sorry, ok?” you say quietly.

It takes a few seconds, but he finally responds. “Yeah, I’m sorry, too.”

You nod and glance up, meeting his eyes as he watches you with that all-encompassing intensity of his. His stare bores right through you and once again you feel frozen in time and for a minute you think he’s somehow doing that, but in reality, it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. He just has that hold over you somehow and you pray that he can’t see it. You watch as he looks away, closes his eyes, and pushes his hair back with one hand, giving you a good look at the tight muscles in his arms. Fuck. You cross your legs and take a sip of your coffee to try and hide the fact that you are on the verge of passing out right now.

At that exact moment, the weird energy in the room is broken by Klaus’s appearance. He floats in, wearing some sort of ugly satin robe that barely covers anything, but somehow he manages to pull off the look. He stops in the doorway and looks from you to Five and back again. Then he claps his hands and smiles.

“Yay! So, you guys are buddies again? Is that what I’m seeing here?”

Five rolls his eyes and sighs. You shrug your shoulders. “I guess so. Tolerating each other again, anyway,” you tell him.

Five gives a tight-lipped smile and holds his coffee mug up towards you in a toasting gesture and you do the same with yours. Neither of you say anything else on the subject.

“Well, let me tell you, that is a relief,” Klaus exhales. “I was not really looking forward to having to put the hammer down on you, Fivey.”

Five raises his eyebrows at Klaus. “Is that right? And how exactly were you planning on doing that?”

“By giving you a very stern warning, of course,” Klaus says with a smile, shaking his finger at Five. Then he walks over to get his own coffee. He looks Five up and down and then gives his arm a squeeze. “Damn, Cinco, you been working out or what? Looking pretty fine there, I must say.”

Five frowns and swats his hand away. “You’re so weird.”

You giggle into your mug and Five looks at you with a crooked smile. Then he snatches the full coffee pot out of Klaus’s hand. “As much as I’d love to spend the rest of my day in the company of you two intellectuals, I must take my leave. See you later.”

Klaus lets out a cry of protest as Five disappears in a flash, taking the coffee with him, and leaving his brother with an empty mug.

You try to hide your laughter as Klaus looks at you in disbelief.

“Well, that was rude,” he says in a huff.

With a shrug, you get up and pour some of your coffee into his cup. “Yeah, but I’ve come to realize that rude is Five’s love language.”

Klaus pouts. “He must love us a lot, then.”

With a smile, you think to yourself how much that statement is probably true. If Five doesn’t care about you, he’s not going to waste his time and energy to speak to you, even if it is in the form of an insult. It makes you feel good inside to know that he probably really does like you, at least a little bit. If not, he just wouldn’t bother with you at all; he’d avoid you like the plague. And you like knowing that. You like it a lot, actually.

Once again, you find your mind drifting off. And once again, it’s filled with images and scenarios starring one very sexy, teleporting ex-assassin.

Chapter Four: Love In The Time Of Cholera

“Jesus, what’s the matter with you?”

Five walks into the apartment to find you huddled on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and shivering.

“Nothing. It’s just a cold I think,” you answer between chattering teeth.

Five strides over to the couch and leans in to peer down at you, squinting slightly. He stands up straight and crosses his arms over his chest, flicking the hair out of his eyes with a superior shake of his head.

“I don’t think that’s just a cold. You look like shit.”

“Gosh, thanks, Five. Charming, as always,” you snap back. Or at least, it would have been a snap had you not just started coughing violently, your entire body shaking with the effort.

Five’s eyebrows furrow together. “Have you taken your temperature?”

You shrug. “No.”

With a heavy sigh, Five leaves the room, returning a minute later with a thermometer in hand. He presses the button and when it beeps, he holds it out for you. You eye it and him suspiciously.

Five jabs it towards you again when you don’t reach for it. “Take it.”

“How do I know you or Klaus haven’t used that to take your temperature in other ways besides orally?”

Five rolls his eyes. “I keep this in my room, away from Klaus for just that reason, and I can assure you it has never been used in my or anyone else’s ass.”

After another sigh from Five and another dubious look at the thermometer, you relent and take it from him. You place it under your tongue and you both wait in silence for what seems to take forever before you hear the beep again. Before you can take it out, Five reaches down and removes it from your mouth for you, frowning at the digital display.

“104.3. You’re burning up.”

You shiver again, wrapping the blanket around you tighter. “Great.”

Five is quiet for a moment, and then he glances around the room. “Where’s Klaus?”

You shrug again, and it reminds you how much your muscles are aching. “I don’t know. I came here right from work since it was closer than my place and I was feeling pretty crappy. I texted him to let him know I’d be here, but so far I haven’t seen him. He didn’t answer my text, either.”

You figure Five is probably more than annoyed with having you here without Klaus, and spreading your germs around his apartment in the process. With a guilty look, you start to stand up.

“Sorry, I’ll go. I’ve rested a bit, so I should be ok to walk home.”

As you stand, you are overwhelmed by a bout of dizziness and you sway on your feet, your vision blurring. Five reaches out to catch you around your waist and you let him take most of your weight. When your vision returns and you can stand, you look up at him to find he actually looks concerned rather than his usual expression of deep irritation. His facial features are softer and his hair is in his face again. His eyes scan over your face, lingering on your lips before meeting your eyes. Your legs are bearing your full weight now, but he still has his arms around you.

You clear your throat. “Or…I can get a cab.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he says, although it’s missing the usual snark he reserves for you. “You obviously are too sick to go anywhere.���

Five lets you go and you both stand there awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

“So…you want me to stay here?” you ask weakly.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I want you to stay here, but I’m also not sending you off on your own while you’re half dead.” He manages a small smile that appears genuine. “You need someone to look after you.”

You try to hide your shock but your eyebrows raise. “And you’re going to look after me?”

He looks away briefly before sighing dramatically again. “Until Klaus comes back. Then you’re his problem.”

A slight smile twitches at the corner of your mouth. You can’t believe Mr. Crab Ass is being this soft. Soft for him, anyway. And you can’t believe he’s willing to take care of you. You’re trying to picture him as a caregiver, though, and it’s like your brain isn’t computing.

“Ok,” you say softly. “Thank you.”

“Come on,” he says, holding out his hand. “I need to get you into bed.”

Despite the pounding headache in your skull, you start giggling as Five realizes what he said, and his face flushes.

“That’s not…you know what I mean,” he stammers. “You can lie down in Klaus’s bed.”

You nod, still smiling and take his hand. It’s warm and dry against your clammy one, but he doesn’t seem to care. Even though your head feels like it’s filled with mashed potatoes, you still feel a little zing through your body at the sensation of his touch. You know he’s strong and he can kill a man with these same hands if he needed to, but he holds yours gently.

He gets you situated in Klaus’s bed, with an extra blanket thrown over the comforter to keep you warm against your chills. He brings you medicine to bring down the fever, and a glass of water to keep next to the bed. He places a cold compress on your forehead and dims the lights so you can rest, slipping quietly out of the room after he makes sure you’re comfortable.

As he leaves, you notice he hesitates near the door and takes a look back at you before he goes. You’re not quite sure how to interpret the look, mostly because you’ve never seen him like that before. He looks…sad? Concerned? You’re not sure, but whatever the meaning behind it has your heart racing just a little faster.

Even with Five’s continued care, your fever remains and you somehow manage to feel even shittier as the day goes on. Your entire body aches, right down to your bones, and you’re so exhausted you can hardly keep your eyes open. You’re sweaty and shivering and every time you cough it feels like fire in your lungs. You might even be hallucinating, because each time you wake up and open your eyes, Five is there. He usually has some amused look on his face, like you just said something interesting or funny, but you’re pretty sure you’ve only been sleeping.

At one point you wake and he’s not in the chair across from the bed like he has been, but you can hear him out in the hall. He’s talking to someone and he does not sound happy. He sounds like you’re used to him sounding. All frustration and rage.

“What do you mean you’re not coming home?” he spits out. There’s a pause. “And like I told you , she’s sick.” Pause. “No, dickhead, like really sick! You need to get your ass back here and act like a fucking adult—” Pause. “Because she’s your girlfriend!” he yells, and you can practically hear his jaw clenching from the other room.

There’s another long pause and you can hear him pacing back and forth. He laughs sarcastically at whatever has been said to him on the other end.

“Yeah, great idea…you stay there and enjoy yourself. I’ll take care of her. Just like I take care of everything else around here.”

He must have hung up because you hear him muttering angrily to himself. “Fucking, self-absorbed asshole! I’m not sure why I expected anything different. Fuck!”

After a minute or two, Five comes back into the room. He’s obviously still upset but is trying to cover it up. Seeing that you’re awake, he comes to stand next to the bed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“So, I got ahold of Klaus finally,” he tells you.

“Yeah, I figured that part out.” You smile weakly up at him. “And it also sounds like he’s not coming home?”

Five rubs the back of his neck. “It appears not. Not for a couple of days, anyway. Seems like he went with a random group of people he met at a club last night and he somehow ended up in Toronto, the fucking jackass. Without a valid passport! Only Klaus would somehow figure out how to cross international borders on charm alone. Either that, or he blew the border guard.” His voice softens and he looks down at you. “I’m sorry he’s not here.”

“That’s ok. I think I’d rather have you here taking care of me, anyway. Klaus is usually much more interested in taking care of Klaus.”

Five gives a short laugh and shakes his head. “What the hell do you two have in common, anyway?”

“Well…” you smile knowingly, even though just that motion of moving your cheek muscles hurts.

“Ok, no, please don’t finish that sentence. I’m sorry I asked.”

Throughout the next day and night, Five continues to care for you. You’re not really sure why he’s so invested in making sure you’re ok, but you never question him. Instead, you let him fix your covers, and take your temperature, and bring you cold drinks. He makes you soup and watches to make sure you eat all of it. It’s absolutely hilarious to see him like a mother hen, fussing over you and scolding you when you don’t take his directions.

Even though you’re not well enough to leave yet, you are starting to feel a little better. Enough that you’re able to get up and take a hot shower. While you’re in there, Five takes the opportunity to change the sheets on the bed and he helps you back in when you’re clean and feeling more like a human again. Once you are all set up in bed again, you are able to sit up and stay awake, which is more than you’ve been able to do over the past 24 hours. Five stands there at the side of the bed awkwardly.

“I’m really sorry for all of this,” you tell him. “Thank you for taking care of me, though. I had no idea you made such a good nurse.”

Five scoffs, but there’s a small smile there. “Yeah, well…you shouldn’t be. I’m good at everything, remember? Also, I’m not that heartless.”

“I never thought you were heartless. Maybe a little bitchy, but never heartless,” you say with a smile.

“Well, you’re about the only one, so thanks I guess. Although, I’m not sure being described as bitchy is any better.”

You start to laugh, but it turns into a racking cough, and Five looks at you with concern.

“All right, enough talking. You should really go back to sleep.”

You shake your head as you wipe at your watery eyes. “I’m sick of sleeping. Entertain me.”

“Entertain you? Jesus, here I am busting my ass to make you better and now I have to entertain you, too?”

He’s trying to sound aggravated, but he’s not quite pulling it off.

“But I’m borrreddd,” you whine dramatically.

“Christ, fine, I will find something to entertain you, as long as you stop fucking whining like that.”

You smile with satisfaction since you got your way and Five tries his best to look unamused.

“I have lots of books; do you want to read?”

You nod. “What do you have?”

“Fuck, I don’t know, I’m not going to list off an entire library of titles for you. What do you like to read?”

After thinking for a minute, you answer, “I doubt you have any, but I like classic romances.”

Five smiles slowly. “Well, then you’re in luck because I happen to also like classic romances.”

You almost start coughing again with surprise. “What? You? Number Five ‘Hard-Ass’ Hargreeves loves romance novels?”

“I am a very romantic person, I can’t believe you’ve never noticed,” he says with a hand on his chest.

“Oh my god, well now I’ve heard everything. Alright, then, Mr. Romance; what do you have for me to read?”

He leaves for a few minutes, returning with a paperback novel in his hand. He holds it up for you to see the cover.

“Love In The Time of Cholera?” you read.

“It’s fitting, don’t you think?” he answers with a smirk.

“I don’t think I have cholera.”

“Well, maybe not but you have something just as disgusting. The plague, maybe. But this was the only book I have that includes both a deadly disease and romance.”

“I haven’t read that one, but wasn’t it written in the 1980s or something? Is that considered a classic already?”

“Look, do you want to read the fucking book or not?”

You nod with a smile. “Yes, please.”

Five steps closer to the bed and holds out the book for you to take it, but you don’t move. Instead, you look up at him with the saddest expression you can manage and poke out your bottom lip.

“I don’t know if my eyes will be able to read such small print in my weakened state. Will you read it to me?” You bat your eyelashes dramatically.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Five sighs. “Read to you? Are you a child?”

“Please? Come on, what else are you doing? Nothing.”

After another huff and a sigh that isn’t very convincing, Five throws his hands up. “Fine! I’ll read you the stupid book. But you better sit there and be quiet and not interrupt.”

You nod obediently and then pat the empty side of the bed next to you. You were halfway kidding, but after a look at the bed and then back to the chair and then back to the bed again, Five walks around to the other side and climbs in, propping himself up beside you. If his heart is pounding just a little faster from the proximity like yours is, he hides it well.

“Will you do different voices for the characters?” you giggle.

“Shut up. Also, you have a booger hanging out of your nose and it’s making me sick. Get a tissue,” he grumbles.

After blowing your nose and using the hand sanitizer that Five holds out to you, you settle into the covers. But not before you take your index finger and poke him right in his cheek dimple. “I’m ready now.”

He bats your hand away with a scowl as you snort from trying to hold in a laugh with your stuffed-up nose.

“You are such an idiot,” he tells you with a shake of his head, trying to hide a smile.

Five turns to the book and starts reading while you lie next to him. Pretty soon the sound of his voice has you closing your eyes and you sink deeper into the covers. When you hear him stop, you open your eyes and peer up at him.

“Why did you stop?” you ask blearily.

“You were sleeping.”

You close your eyes again and sigh. “Keep reading, even if I fall asleep. I like listening to your voice. It’s nice.”

Even though you can’t see him, you think you hear a breathy little laugh. “Ok,” he says softly, before continuing on with the story.

You doze off again, and when you wake up the sun is lower in the sky and the room is dim. Your eyes adjust to the darkness and you see Five is still there. The book is closed and lying to the side and he is asleep on his back next to you. Then you see that your arm is flung over his stomach and you freeze. He’s still sleeping soundly, so you slowly take your hand back, but not before making sure you get a good feel of his hard abs under your palm. You look at his face and see that it’s softer, his forehead uncreased, with his dark lashes fanned over the tops of his cheeks. His lips are parted just slightly while he breathes deeply and for a very brief moment, you think about running your fingers over them to see if they’re as soft as they look. Instead, you clear your throat and he stirs.

When Five looks over at you, you smile shyly at him. “I think we both fell asleep.”

He runs a hand down his face and looks around him. “Yeah, I guess we did.” He turns back to you. “How are you feeling?”

You nod. “Better, actually, thank you. And thank you for reading to me. I missed some of it, but I liked what I heard of it so far. And I get the gist that this guy in the book is going to start whoring his way around the world because of his unrequited love?”

Five laughs. “Pretty much, yes.”

“Guys are disgusting no matter what time period they live in, I guess.”

Five raises one eyebrow at you. “You do realize whose bed you are currently sleeping in, right? Probably the most disgusting one of them all.”

You frown. “Klaus isn’t that disgusting. He’s just…free.”

Five gives a snort of derision. “Is that what you call fucking your way through several different timelines, including, but not limited to, an entire congregation of his own cult members?”

You feel your face turning red from embarrassment at being one of the many in Klaus’s little trail of conquests, but you already knew that and hadn’t cared before. So, why is it bothering you now? Why do you care what Five thinks? Instead, you change the subject.

“So, you asked me what I have in common with Klaus, but what about you? Why do you live together if he seems to be a constant source of irritation for you?”

Five is quiet for a minute and he sits up in the bed and for a second you think he’s going to leave. But he just leans against the headboard and looks back down at you with a sad smile.

“You’re right, he drives me fucking crazy and I would most definitely prefer to live on my own.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because Klaus is a hazard to himself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even when we were kids, he was constantly getting into trouble. Whether he was getting bullied by some dickheads on the subway or being used by my father in some horrible way, he was always getting hurt. Both physically and mentally. He’s just too damn trusting. When I was there, I would stand up for him. If I saw him getting pushed around or harassed in some way, then you could bet that whoever was responsible was getting their ass kicked. At home, there wasn’t much I could do about that, but he would come to my room when he was scared or upset and I’d let him hang out as long as he wanted, just to let him talk and calm down. When I left, among a million other things that haunted me during those years, I felt terrible that I had left Klaus unprotected.”

You stare up him, and you can see the hurt on his face as he’s remembering all of this.

“After I came back, I couldn’t believe how far he’d fallen. I know you can’t blame yourself for someone else’s choices, but I kept thinking maybe he would have been ok if I hadn’t jumped. Then, almost right off the bat, he gets kidnapped and tortured by people that were looking for me and then accidentally fucks off to Vietnam to earn himself some more trauma and heartache. Instead of protecting him, I was causing him more pain and suffering and I’d hardly been back in his life for more than a couple of days. So, after a few more screw-ups and a grand old time in the 1960s, here we are again. I know what he’s been through and it’s a lot.”

“So, you decided to live with him to watch out for him? To try and protect him again?”

Five nods. “I know Klaus isn’t stupid. And he’s a survivalist, just like me, so I’m not saying he can’t get along without me. I just feel that I owe him something, at least. And the only thing I can really offer him these days is to try and look out for him. Maybe stop him from making mistakes that will end up causing him more harm in the end. Like taking too many drugs, sleeping with dangerous people, or getting stranded in Canada with strangers. So, as you can see, I’m doing a real bang-up job.”

You smile up at him. “I don’t think that’s your fault.”

Five frowns. “Well, anyway, there you have it. He drives me fucking crazy and makes me want to put his head through a wall most days, but if I’m here then at least I can keep an eye on him.”

“So, am I one of these dangerous people you want to keep him from sleeping with?” you ask just to be a smart-ass and maybe a little flirty.

He gives you a look you don’t know how to interpret. “You are most definitely dangerous, but not in the way you might think.”

You’re not sure how to answer that as you feel your cheeks blush. “You’re a good big brother.”

“Not really.”

You rest your hand on top of Five’s, giving it a light squeeze and he looks down at it. “No, I mean it, Five. You’re a really good brother to him.” And you do mean it.

He swallows hard and looks you in the eyes, holding your gaze for a long time. He gently strokes his thumb against the side of your hand, and it’s the most contact you’ve ever gotten from him. It’s only an instant before he’s taking his back again.

He shakes his head and his voice is almost a whisper when he speaks. “You don’t understand. I’m really not.”

After another awkward moment, he clears his throat and moves off the bed. He pauses in the doorway and turns back to you.

“I’ll bring you something to eat, ok?”

You nod. “Thank you.”

Then he’s gone and you’re left lying there wondering what the hell just happened between you two.

************************************

I thought I had finally gotten my shit together. After that little setback when she caught me beating my meat in the shower and I turned into a giant asshole, we had been back on friendly terms. And I had told myself to stop being a delusional creep and fantasizing about things that weren’t ever going to happen. So far, I have been doing pretty well. Then she got sick.

Normally, the only reason I would care whether or not someone was sick would be so that I could stay away from them. I have dealt with more than my fair share of horrible illnesses and injuries in my life and managed to come out of them mostly unscathed and with no one else’s help. So it’s hard for me to feel too much sympathy for folks with access to advanced medical care and simple things like aspirin or Neosporin. I lost track of how many times I would have killed just for some Imodium and a bottle of Gatorade after eating some not-so-great canned food.

As soon as I saw her all miserable and shivering from a fever like that, though, my heart couldn’t stand it. All I wanted to do was make her feel better and I didn’t care if I was exposed to her germs or not. I would have taken all of them if it meant she’d feel well again. That’s how much she’s gotten to me.

My first instinct was to bring her into my bed, but I quickly changed my mind. I didn’t want it to seem like I was hinting at anything or being a weirdo, so I opted for the better choice of Klaus’s bed. Even though the thought of her being in there, no matter the purpose, leaves me with a gnawing feeling in my stomach. But that’s ok, the only thing that mattered was that she was cared for.

Those first 24 hours were interesting, to say the least. I’m still not quite sure what to think about it. She was feverish and exhausted, and she started hallucinating and talking in her sleep. At first, I didn’t think much of it. It’s not abnormal for people with high fevers to experience these things. But when I didn’t leave her side except to get her more medicine or anything else she needed, she must have realized I was there even if she wasn’t totally in her right mind. She started talking to me, but it didn’t make sense. At least, I told myself it didn’t make sense. Because I don’t want to acknowledge the very unrealistic notion that it may have been her true feelings.

“It’s you,” she had said weakly, her eyes barely open as I sat in the chair across from her.

“Yeah, it’s me. Did you need something?”

She shook her head very slowly and her eyes closed again. “No…I mean…it’s you, Five. It’s always you.”

I didn’t how to take that or how to respond, so I didn’t say anything and she drifted back into a sound sleep.

It had turned dark outside and I hadn’t bothered to turn on a light in the room, but I was still sitting there and I had almost fallen asleep myself. Then I heard her speak again.

“Five?”

I got up and went to her side, and even in the dark, I could tell that she wasn’t completely awake or lucid. She had a sheen of sweat on her forehead from the fever and I placed my hand on her head, hoping the coolness of my skin would feel good. She sighed and smiled.

“You’re hot,” I told her, obviously meaning the temperature of her forehead.

She had laughed dreamily, her eyes still closed. “So are you.”

I took my hand away and smiled down at her, deciding to go ahead and tease her even though I knew she wasn’t with it. “Oh yeah? I think you’re just saying that so I’ll continue waiting on you hand and foot.”

“Nooo…like soooo hot. Can you not be so hot all the time? It’s not fair. With no shirt…"

It was like talking to a drunk person, which I have lots of experience in, from both points of view, and I laughed again. “Ok. Go back to sleep.”

She had turned over on her side and curled up, facing away from me, but she was still mumbling out loud.

“Ok…I’ll do whatever you say, Daddy,” she giggled.

After that, she was back into a deep sleep and I just stood there, frozen in place and trying not to read too much into that. The logical explanation was that she was dreaming about her father in a completely innocent way. However, the other, less plausible one would be that she meant it in a totally different and very naughty way. A way that if I thought about it too much was going to cause me some major problems in the crotch department of my pants. And she had said I was hot, too. Which again, I chocked up to her fever, but still. I didn’t mind hearing it.

The third such incident had happened in the middle of the night. I was asleep and had been for some time. She seemed to be resting peacefully, but I still didn’t want to leave the room just in case she needed something if she woke up. I was still in the chair when I was awoken by her nonsensical ramblings again.

“Why don’t you?”

I rubbed my eyes and got up, standing next to her to make sure she was ok and was going to fall back asleep again. In the dark, she must have sensed me, because she reached out and took my hand and pulled me towards her. She hardly had any strength, so I didn’t have to move, but I did anyway and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Why don’t you?” she asked again, her voice thick with sleep and her hand still latched onto mine.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t like me,” she answered softly.

I didn’t really know if she was talking to me or not inside of her head, but I decided to answer her. “I do like you.”

“Good,” she murmured, and then she was quiet again. I was about to get up and go back to my chair when she started talking again. “I like it when you call me that, you know.”

I frowned. I had no idea what she was talking about. “Call you what?”

“Sweetheart,” she whispered and in the dark I could make out a smile on her face.

My heart just about jumped out of my chest. But then again, maybe she hadn’t even meant that for me. Maybe she was talking about Klaus, or someone else. Maybe it was all a weird dream and it didn’t mean anything rational at all.

I couldn’t resist, though. I took my hand from hers and touched the side of her face, running my thumb over her warm cheek. “Ok, sweetheart,” I said softly and my voice cracked. It was the first time I had said that without being a sarcastic jerk.

She smiled again and then burrowed deeper into the covers with a sigh. “Five…”

I wanted to die right there on the spot. I hated that I was letting myself create this little fantasy world for the two of us. All of these things she was saying meant nothing. She was delusional and not in her normal mindset. These things were most likely complete gibberish and had no bearing on anything. She was probably saying my name because I was right there and she had heard my voice. Or, more likely, she was telling me off in some dream she was having where I was being my usual pleasant self.

But that tiny little possibility for any of that to be true…that was all I could think about. And damn, it was driving me crazy.

When she had fallen asleep while I was reading to her, I kept going for a while because she had said she liked hearing my voice. But when I was sure she was deep enough asleep that she wouldn’t notice, I stopped. I should have left then, but I didn’t. Instead, I watched her sleeping for a while; noticing the rise and fall of her chest and the way her lips were slightly parted as she breathed in a steady rhythm. I wanted to pull her next to me and hold her. I wanted to stroke her hair and kiss her forehead. I didn’t do those things, but I did stay where I was. I laid there next to her, comfortable and warm and I didn’t want that moment to end. I loved it.

Now it’s two days later and my stupid ass brother still hasn’t shown up. Not that I’m really complaining, but I’m sure she wishes he were here. I meant it when I said I know I’m not a good brother to him. I’ve let him down many times in the past and now I’m lusting after his “non-girlfriend.” Pretty shitty if you ask me. Still, he should be here. Leave it to Klaus to up and abandon her when she needs him the most. Although, she had said she was happy I was here for her.

She is feeling better, at least, and is up and around more. We have developed a kind of routine and have fallen into a comfortable companionship. I know she likes chicken and rice soup and not chicken and noodle. She prefers Sprite over ginger ale and her favorite tea is chamomile. She loves the movie Grease and hates any and all sports movies. And of course, she loves classic romance novels.

I’ve continued reading the book to her, even though she’s well enough to continue reading it herself. She said she likes listening to me and I like doing anything that makes her happy. She still can’t get over the fact that the main character in the book ends up banging 622 women during his decades-long fuck-a-thon.

We are nearing the end of the book today and I’m sitting on the couch with my feet on the coffee table (I know…hypocrisy at its finest). She is sitting next to me when she scoots over and lays her head on my shoulder.

“What’s this?” I ask, trying to act annoyed, when of course I couldn’t be happier.

“I want to see the pages while you read. Make sure you’re not skipping anything to get to the end faster.”

I roll my eyes. “I promise I am not skipping anything. What do you take me for?”

“A cynical bastard?”

She looks up at me with a grin and I do my best to look irritated. “Do you want to finish this damn book or not?”

“Yes, darling.”

It’s heavy with sarcasm, obviously, but I still get a little rush when I hear her say it. I want so badly to lean my cheek against her head, feeling the softness of her hair against my skin. Instead, I sigh heavily and open the book.

“Hey, wait, so we’re almost to the end now and Florentino has been whoring around for a long time. I forget, how long has it been exactly?”

“51 years, 9 months, and 4 days.”

“Damn,” she says with a chuckle. “That’s a really fucking long time to wait around. Even if you are banging a bunch of people along the way. I mean think about it. That’s like…5 decades just…putting your life on pause. Can you imagine? God, I’d go insane.”

I’m suddenly very uncomfortable since that statement hit a little too close to home. I shift in my seat and the movement makes her lift her head and look up at me. I don’t meet her eyes, though.

“Oh, shit,” she gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. “I am so sorry, Five. I didn’t mean—"

“It’s fine.”

“No. No, I just forgot and that was a really insensitive thing for me to say, and…god dammit, I always do stupid shit like this. I’m always just blurting things out without thinking about what I’m saying.”

“Really. It’s ok,” I assure her.

She lets out a frustrated exhale and she’s starting to mess with her fingernails like she always does when she gets nervous. 

“Hey,” I say, putting my hand on her leg. “You don’t have to feel bad. I’m not offended. And it’s true, you would go insane. I can vouch for that.”

She looks down at my hand on her leg and I quickly take it back. When she looks at me, her eyebrows are drawn together in concern.

“Can I ask you something, then?”

“Sure.”

“So, I know all about your ‘accident’ or whatever you want to call it. Klaus told me everything and it’s just so awful, Five. The fact that you are here and functioning and not locked up in a looney bin somewhere is nothing short of amazing.”

I let out a short laugh. “Thanks, I guess? Although some days I feel like I should be locked up. But that usually just has to do with having to deal with my moronic family.”

She doesn’t laugh at my joke to deflect, and instead, she continues looking at my face with not exactly pity, but something close to it. It makes me uneasy.

“Ok, well, anyway, there’s something I’ve wanted to know. Have you…have you ever been in a relationship with anyone? Like romantically?”

Well, if I felt uneasy before it’s nothing to how I’m feeling now. I would like to sink down in between these couch cushions and smother myself to death. How am I supposed to answer that without sounding like a fucking lunatic? Then again, if anyone would understand, it’s probably her.

I clear my throat and rub the back of my neck. “That’s kind of a loaded question.”

“Is it?”

"Well, the short answer is yes. I was in a serious relationship for a very long time. Decades, in fact. But that ended a few years back.”

“Oh…I thought you were alone that whole time. So you had a partner?”

“Yes, you could say that. Dolores was more than my partner, though. She was all of the things I needed when I wanted to give up. She was my rationality, my calm in a storm, my teacher and my friend. She taught me love, patience, and perseverance above all odds. She was my entire world and the main reason I’m still standing here today. She was my everything and the love of my life.” I pause and I look her directly in the eyes. “And she was made up entirely of my imagination and a department store mannequin. But she was very real to me.”

She blinks a few times and I can tell she is trying to process all of that. And I can’t blame her. What is the appropriate response to that? If you’re a dick, you laugh. If you’re some sappy, bleeding heart with no control over your emotions, you cry. But if you are a normal, sympathetic person with actual brains, then it gets complicated.

“Five, I…I don’t know what to say. That’s…”

“Sad? Disturbing? The most fucked up thing you’ve ever heard?”

“Beautiful.”

I look at her in disbelief. “What?”

“If she was all of those things to you, then that means you are all of those things. You are the reason you persevered and survived all those years. Because you made sure of it in the only way you knew how. And Dolores was the vessel that helped you compartmentalize everything, letting you deal with the horrors of your reality while still maintaining all of the good parts that are inside of you. It’s brilliant, actually. And hopelessly romantic.”

“No one has ever interpreted it in that way before. Although to be honest, I haven’t really told many people. In fact, come to think of it, outside of my siblings, you are the only one I’ve told.”

“Wow, really? Thank you.”

She sounds sincere and I know she is not judging me. I am very protective of Dolores and if she had said something flippant or thoughtless, I would have defended my lady love. But she didn’t. She understands. Which just makes me want her more.

“You’re welcome.”

“Ok, so other than Dolores, have there been other women in your life?”

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Yes, there have been. Not many, but a few. And none of them were relationships to speak of.”

She smiles. “Ah, I see. A slew of one-night stands to make up for lost time?”

I chuckle and shake my head. “More like a select few professional dancers.”

She makes a cringey face. “Yikes. I guess that can be fun in its own way, though. Bringing home some hot strippers maybe isn’t a bad way to spend a Friday night.”

“Oh, no, I never brought them home. Or even left the club, actually.” Her raised eyebrows have me laughing. “It is in my personal experience that the adage of ‘there’s no sex in the champagne room’ is not entirely true.”

She draws in a dramatic gasp with a big grin on her face. Then she slaps me on the arm. “Five Hargreeves, you are a giant slut! I can’t believe you give Klaus shit all the time when you’re going around banging strippers in the back of the clubs. What did they do, lure you back there with lap dances? How much does it cost to bone a stripper these days?”

“I never said I paid for it,” I say with a smirk.

“Whoa whoa whoa…hold on. Let me see if I’m understanding this correctly. You go to a strip club, probably buy a couple of drinks, maybe get a couple of dances, and they just magically take you into the champagne room and let you rail them?”

I shrug and drape my arms across the back of the couch. “That’s pretty close, yeah.”

Her mouth is hanging open and I know I’m acting like an arrogant prick, but I don’t care. Her reaction is too funny. It’s also all true.

“Holy shit.” She shakes her head with a smile. “Well, I hope you know that is not the normal experience for most guys. And the fact that it sounds like this has happened more than once leads me to believe you must be doing something extremely right in that room because girls like to talk.”

“Is that right?” I say with one eyebrow raised.

She nods. “I’m not entirely surprised. After I was able to get a quick preview of what you’re working with down there, I have no doubt you left these ladies with some major organ damage and a big smile on their faces.”

Now my mouth is hanging open in shock, but before I can stammer out some words, she starts laughing. It’s immediately contagious and I join her, and I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time. It feels good and it almost erases the crushing feeling inside when I think about how I never want this time with her to end. Almost.

Chapter Five: Bizarre Love Triangle

The next day you are back to feeling normal again, and you should be going. You’ve missed a few days of work and you really need to get back there. But you don’t; you stay. You like the little infirmary Five has created for you. You feel safe and cared for, and if you leave that feeling will be gone.

Klaus decides to return sometime during the afternoon. He breezes in, smelling of cigarettes and unwashed clothes, with a smile on his face and seemingly not a care in the world. You are annoyed, sure, but you secretly don’t even care that he’s been gone. And it’s just so hard to stay mad at him because it’s Klaus. He is who he is and it’s no surprise, really.

Five, however, finds nothing amusing about it. You stand there and watch as he loses his ever-loving shit.

Barely two minutes after Klaus is in the door, Five is appearing in front of him in an angry swirl of light, already leaning in with bared teeth and clenched fists.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he growls in Klaus’s face.

Klaus, always immune to his brother’s rage, raises a hand to his head and closes his eyes. “Shhh…Fivey…please, can you keep the screaming to a dull roar? My skull feels like it’s breaking in two.”

“It is going to be breaking in two when I’m through with you. What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t you have any decency? She has been on death’s door for the past two days and you don’t bother to come home or even call to check in?”

Five is gesturing to you while you stand off to the side, not sure whether you should be jumping in or not. You don’t really appreciate being talked about like you aren’t there, but you’ve never seen Five this worked up before and it’s intimidating, to say the least.

Klaus sighs dramatically and looks over to you. “I’m sorry. You’re ok now, though, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I am…”

“See? She’s ok, so no harm done,” he tells Five.

“Yeah, she is ok, thanks to me. That’s not even the point, though! You need to stop thinking about only yourself all the time. Grow the fuck up and act like an adult.” Five is still yelling loudly and Klaus is flinching with each word thrown in his face. “God, you’re so fucking useless sometimes!”

“Hey!” you interject. “Five, stop. I know you’re mad but you don’t have to be mean.”

He whips his head in your direction and the ire is still there. “Mean? I’m being mean? You do realize he just up and abandoned you, right?”

You stand up straight and raise your chin. “I think abandoned is a strong word. And I’m an adult, too, you know. I appreciate everything you did for me, but I think I could have survived without either of you.”

Five is silent, but his eyes don’t leave yours. He’s still angry, but there’s something else there. Hurt.

“Fine,” he concedes and his shoulders slump a little. “Forget I even said anything. You two dumbasses really do deserve each other.”

After that, he’s gone. Disappeared again before your eyes and you know he’s not in the apartment anymore. You doubt you’ll see him back here again anytime soon. You fucked things up again, and you don’t know how to fix it this time. You look at Klaus.

“Why didn’t you come back? It would have been the decent thing to do. I thought you cared a little more about me than that.”

Klaus massages his temples with his hands and lets out a loud exhale. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be gone that long, and it was a little tricky to get back into the country without documentation. Especially when the guards on duty that day are all alpha males with no sense of humor.” He looks at you with concern. “I really am sorry.”

“Thank you.”

“You seem back to normal, now, so that’s good. I’m glad at least Five was here.”

You nod. “Me too.” You look towards the door, even though that’s not the way he left. “I don’t think he’s going to want to have anything to do with me again, though.”

Klaus is already on his way to the bathroom and he waves a hand in the air dismissively. “Nah, don’t worry about him. He’ll get over it. He always does. Come on, want to join me in the shower?”

“No, thanks,” you answer with a pinched smile. You may not be that angry with Klaus, but you are pretty annoyed. And certainly not in the mood for anything more than chit-chat right now.

It’s later that night, and why the hell you’re still here you have no idea. You should have left hours ago. You just can’t help but want to see Five again and to maybe try and smooth things over. And you’re worried about him, too. Obviously, he can take care of himself, but that doesn’t mean he won’t do something stupid just because he’s pissed off and not thinking clearly. So, while Klaus is in his room sleeping off his three-day bender, you lie down on the couch. You can’t sleep though so you’re staring up at the ceiling in the dark when you hear a familiar whooshing noise and brief flash of blue light coming from the kitchen. You get up and enter the kitchen quietly.

Five stops short when he sees you, his eyes wide for half a second before he corrects himself and he adopts his signature glare. You watch him as he walks to the sink, grabs a glass out of the cabinet, and fills it with water from the tap. You notice how he swayed a little when he walked and the way his eyes were momentarily unfocused. He turns his back to you as he takes a long drink of water.

“What are you still doing here?” he asks after he swallows.

“Are you drunk?” you ask, ignoring his question.

He gives a short and haughty noise, half snort, half laugh, and he swallows down another gulp of water.

“Hardly,” he answers, still turned away from you. He is deliberately not looking at you, probably waiting for you to give up and leave first.

“Yes, you are,” you insist.

Five turns, spinning abruptly around and facing you head-on. He slams the empty water glass on the counter behind him.

“And what if I was? What the fuck does it matter to you?” he barks, his face hard and angry.

You aren’t going to let him win this one. You aren’t going to let him chase you out of there.

“Where were you anyway?”

He puts his hands in his pockets and leans back against the counter. His hair is disheveled and hanging in his eyes again. His shirt, although slightly wrinkled, is unbuttoned just far enough that you can make out the hard line of his collarbone and the outline of his pecs. He is all tense joints and sinew, skin tight and smooth over rippling muscles; everything coiled tight. He notices you staring at his body and he smirks.

“Aw, did you miss me tending to your every need, princess? Not getting enough attention from my dear brother in there?” He nods his head toward Klaus’s room.

You cross your arms defensively over your chest, staring him down. “Don’t you dare fucking talk to me like that, Five. We are past that.”

He gives another sarcastic huff and turns his back on you again. “Go back to your boyfriend. Leave me alone.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you answer flatly, although that’s hardly relevant.

Five doesn’t say anything in response at first and you think you’ve won this weird little game you two are playing. Then you see his shoulders slump and his head hangs down.

“Then what are you doing with him?” he asks quietly.

You pause, blinking into the dim light of the kitchen, watching the muscles in his back flex through his shirt as he presses his palms harder into the countertop.

“What do you mean?” you ask with a tremble in your voice.

Five turns around to face you, the softness you had heard for just a moment gone again. He takes a menacing step toward you and you instinctively back up.

“I mean, what are you doing with Klaus? Why are you with him?���

Five continues to slowly make his way into your personal space. His eyes are dark and he’s breathing hard with anger or drunkenness, or both. You back up, but you find yourself trapped against the wall. Five pauses for a moment, like he’s unsure he wants to follow through on whatever he’s thinking. But then he’s taking another step toward you, and another, until he’s so close you can see the tiny flecks of brown in his otherwise clear green eyes.

You take a shaking breath in and you can smell the whiskey on his breath, and the leathery scent of the soap you recognize from the shower. You can hear the squeak of his leather dress shoe on the floor and the way the fabric of his pants brushes softly between his legs as he moves in.

When you don’t answer, he asks again, his voice low and demanding. “Why are you with him?”

You swallow hard and try to look away, but his stare is too intense. “I…I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Tell me.”

He’s leaning in, trapping you between his forearms as they are pressed against the wall next to your head, his lips just inches from yours as he waits for your answer. You have a feeling he’s not going anywhere until he hears what he wants to hear.

Your voice is barely a whisper when it comes out. “Because I don’t like being alone.”

One half of Five’s mouth curls up in a self-satisfied smirk. When he closes the already small gap between you and him, he rests his hand on your hip as your thigh grazes against his groin. You can feel the firm bulge starting to form in his perfectly fitted pants as you hold your breath.

“Fuck,” he murmurs painfully.

Before you can react, his mouth is on yours, hungry and rushed, like he’s trying to get as much of you as he can before he changes his mind again. But he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he presses further into you, flattening you against the wall, his hands clutching firmly to your hips. The weight of his entire body is pressed upon you, your breasts pushed against his chest and your groin flush with his. You take in a gulp of air between open-mouth kisses, half-resisting and half-responding to his touch.

If he senses any hesitation from you, he ignores it. Instead, he moans pitifully in his throat, raising both of his hands to bunch your hair into his fists. The feeling of his fingers against your scalp is like a spark; igniting the rest of your body so that you find yourself grabbing the back of his shirt and pushing your lower body into him.

His hands release from your hair, only to trail down the sides of your face and onto your neck. Hot and insistent, you feel his fingers tracing over the tendons on either side, across your jugular, and dipping into the hollow curve above your collarbone. His mouth leaves yours and follows the same route of his fingers; kissing softly but urgently in a linear pattern.

You are still grasping handfuls of his shirt on his back and then his chest. “Five.”

You don’t know what the meaning behind you saying his name is. You don’t want him to stop, but you can’t think clearly so it’s the only thing that comes out.

“It’s not fair,” he growls into your skin, moving to the other side of your neck. “Not fucking fair.”

A whine escapes your throat and you find yourself arching into him. Into his kisses and into his body. You want more and you don’t care that he’s drunk or that he all but forced himself on you. You’re not going to push him away and you stop kidding yourself that you were even thinking about it in the first place. It feels good. He feels good. And it feels right.

His kisses abruptly stop and when you open your eyes, you’re met with his intense gaze again. His mouth is parted as he labors for breath, chest heaving against yours. His hands are on your neck again. This time, they are encircling it, his palms warm against your skin and his thumbs on your chin, holding you in place and forcing you to look at him.

Five’s eyes are searching your face, taking in every detail.

“I want you. And I don’t fucking care about Klaus or anyone else. I want you,” he states quietly and breathlessly. “But if you want me to stop, tell me and I will. I’ll leave and you can go back to him.”

You frown, your eyebrows drawing together, as you take in the sharp angles of his face and the evident pain and longing that is written all over it. You could end this right now. He would step back, remove his hands from your body, and let you go. But that’s not what you want.

You shake your head slowly. “No. Don’t leave.”

“Fuck,” he breathes out again as if he’s disappointed in your answer.

There’s no time to contemplate that, however, because you are being hoisted up in one boost, Five’s strength more than enough to lift you easily off the ground. On instinct, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist. You can feel how hard he is as you pass over his groin and he gives a little grunt at the feeling.

It’s all a delirious haze as you cling to him, kissing his face and neck and winding your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. All while he is carrying you down the short hallway to his bedroom, bumping into the doorjamb on the way in, and closing the door behind him with a kick of his foot.

He walks over to the bed, dropping you down a bit ungracefully. Not that you care. You’re too busy trying desperately to shed your clothes as he does the same, the room filling with the sound of your loud and ragged breathing.

Since you were only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, you’re finished before he is and you lie back, watching as he fumbles with his belt buckle and shoves his pants hurriedly down. His shirt is off already, and you take in the hardness of his chest and the way his shoulders and biceps flex and relax with each movement. The tight boxer briefs he is wearing are damp where his hard cock has been leaking into them.

It’s all happening so fast, and he’s on top of you in a matter of seconds, pinning you down to the mattress, both of you naked and clawing at one another. He is grabbing and kneading your ass with one hand while the other one is on your breast, squeezing almost to the point of pain. But it feels so fucking good, and you’re just as forceful; digging your fingers into his hip and raking your nails roughly down the smooth skin of his back.

“Five,” you whine, unable to say anything else as he bites and sucks at your chest.

He’s groaning and gasping against your skin, like he’s drowning; like he can’t get enough. His mouth is everywhere. Your tits, your stomach, your neck.

He lets out a frustrated growl, even as he takes everything he wants and you let him.

“I hate it…” he mumbles, words cut off as he drags a tongue across your hardened nipple.

“What?” you ask after inhaling a sharp breath, your fist tangled in his dark hair.

Five doesn’t stop, even as he answers you, moving further down your body.

“I hate that he kisses you. I hate that he touches you,” he moans, his lips grazing over you and the words hot against your skin.

He pushes your legs apart and you pull in a deep breath, your hips rising off the bed in response. His mouth is on your inner thigh, pressed against it while his words vibrate over and through you.

“I hate that he makes you wet, and knows how you taste.”

Five is on his knees, face buried between your legs as he licks at your pussy, tongue lapping up the continual flow of your arousal and spreading it up through your aching folds. He’s holding you by your waist with both hands, steadying you as you thrust up into him. His mouth is hot and wet as it engulfs you in messy kisses and licks, the tip of his tongue darting over your clit as he drinks in your wetness and swallows it down.

The accuracy is tortuous, as he hits his target each time, leaving you writhing desperately beneath him, biting your bottom lip as you try in vain to quiet the noises he’s eliciting from you.

“Fi-ive…,”you whine pathetically before inhaling another loud breath.

His mouth is off of you again, leaving you soaking wet and desperate for more. Five is back to kissing up your body, going back over the trail he left on the way down. When he gets to your mouth, he kisses you hard and deep. You can taste your own sex on his tongue as it slips past your lips and inside, colliding with yours. As he bites and pulls at your lips with his teeth, you can feel his cock pressing against the inside of your thigh as he moves his hips rhythmically against you.

“I hate that he fucks you. I hate that he makes you come.” He pauses as he lets out another quiet moan. “And I hate that I hate it.”

He has pulled away from you, green eyes boring into you as he looks into yours. He hasn’t bothered with asking if anything he is doing is ok, probably taking your moans and involuntary hip jerks as proof that you were ok with everything. But now, he seems to be waiting for something. An acknowledgment of what he said. A sign that you want what he wants.

“Don’t you know?” you ask him, panting, as you look back at him. “When I close my eyes, it’s always you.”

One corner of his mouth is turned up, more than satisfied with your answer, as he is repositioning himself and shoving inside of you. You cry out, not even trying to hold it back, as your head falls backward and you clutch onto his shoulders. Five’s own loud groans are punctuated by each slow thrust of his hips as he holds himself over you on his forearms. Your eyes meet again, his face hovering over yours, dark hair hanging in messy strands off his forehead.

“Fuuck…I’ve wanted this for so long,” he breathes out, not breaking eye contact.

He’s slamming into you, his more than sizeable dick filling you up with each push. And it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. The way his body fits into yours. The way he looks at you. The intensity mixed with need and want. This is how fucking should feel. And you want to feel this way forever.

He has lowered himself so that your faces are closer; lips just an inch apart. He hasn’t changed his pace, though, still penetrating you over and over again in the perfect rhythm. Your hands run over the tight muscles of his rounded shoulders, nails raking red lines down his back as you lift your legs higher and angle your hips up.

“Look at me,” he demands and you open your eyes immediately in response. “I want you all to myself. I want you to fuck me. Scream for me. Come for me.”

There was no question posed, but you find yourself nodding along, agreeing with each word he says; arching into him and pulling him closer.

It’s not long before the tension is building, the heat spreading out through your groin until it’s no longer bearable. He’s pounding into you with precision and just enough force that you know you’ll be sore tomorrow. But that thought is far back in your mind, and you focus on his loud breathing against your skin, the feral look in his eyes, the way his body moves so perfectly in time with yours.

You come for him, just like he wanted, and you’re loud and desperate; thrashing underneath him, clutching tightly to his sweat-dampened skin. When you moan his name, long and pleading, his thrusts stop as his hips slam into you one more time, his cock unloading inside of you as he shudders and buries his face into the crook of your neck; a painful-sounding growl mixing with his stuttering breath.

Five stays like this, breathing in the scent of your skin and hair, for a minute or two before he lifts himself off of you, lying next to you on his back. He’s still breathing hard, but you can already see the wheels turning in his head; the regret and shame washing over him. You don’t want him to feel like that, though. There’s no reason for him to feel that way.

“Five?” you ask hesitantly.

He turns his head toward you, slowly, hands resting on his chest. You’re not really sure what to say. You want to tell him it’s ok. That you were just as much of a part in this as he is. But you know that will probably make him angry.

“Do you want…” your voice breaks as you look at him, realizing this passionate moment is most likely coming to an end. “Never mind. I can go.”

You sit up and start to maneuver off the bed when you feel his hand on top of yours. When you look back, his face is different. It’s more resolved now, like he’s figured something out.

“No,” he says softly. “Stay.”

“But…” You glance at the closed door of his bedroom, and he knows what you’re thinking because he’s probably thinking the same thing. Klaus. There’s also zero chance that Klaus hadn’t heard your loud cries of his brother’s name and the bed slamming against the wall.

“I don’t care. Stay.” When you look back at him, he smiles just a little. “Please,” he adds.

You return the smile, pushing the covers down so that you can both get underneath. He draws you to him with an arm around your middle and you nestle into his chest. He’s warm and his arm around you is strong, and it feels good.

Neither of you say anything more as you give in to your tiredness, drifting off while Five trails soft lines up and down your arms with his fingers.

Sometime during the night, you feel Five behind you, pressing himself against you and pulling you closer. He’s hard again and lightly kissing your shoulder, running his hand down your arm and then your thigh. You smile sleepily, not even opening your eyes, and push back into him, wordlessly letting him know you want him again.

You’re both caught in that hazy delirium of not being fully awake and Five thrusts into you slowly, rubbing his cheek softly against your hair. It’s passionate and pure, and you might have thought it was a dream if the words he was saying to you weren’t so real.

“I want this,” he whispers into the darkness. “I want this with you. Not just tonight, every night. Please.”

You sigh contentedly, pressing your backside into him as he fucks you perfectly.

“I want this, too. It’s always you, Five,” you answer, reaching your arm back to cradle his head in your hand.

He’s groaning low and desperately, his forehead pressed into your neck.

“I’ll take care of you like you deserve,” he’s pleading as he thrusts harder into you and his hand moves between your legs, urging you on. “Whatever you need, I’ll give to you. I’ll make you happy.”

You whine quietly, already feeling the need for release. “I know you will…I know…” You gasp when he gives one forceful thrust, fingers pressing hard against your clit. “You’re all I need.”

“Please,” he’s murmuring against your neck. “Please let me. I’m all yours, sweetheart. Please,” he keeps repeating, right before you’re both shuddering and moaning as everything builds and you reach your apices together.

The post-orgasmic high you are feeling is mixing with your emotions and your exhaustion, and you blink into the darkness of the room, feeling Five pull out; the hot cum he just pumped into you seeping out and sticking between your bodies. It doesn’t matter, though. He still has you in his arms as you both sink further into the mattress again.

He doesn’t say anything more, and neither do you. You feel him nuzzle into your neck and your hair, his lips pressed against you and you sigh happily. Who knows what the morning will bring, but that is still several hours away, and no matter what, you belong to each other now. You interlace your fingers with his and settle into the perfect curve of his body as you fall back into a peaceful sleep. 

When you wake up, the sunlight is streaming through the window and across Five’s bed, and you are alone. But it doesn’t take long to figure out what woke you up in the first place. Loud voices are arguing, sounding like they are coming from the kitchen, and growing louder by the second.

“You are a massive asshole!”

“Oh, get over yourself, Klaus! You’re only mad because it’s a blow to your fragile ego.”

Klaus gives a sarcastic snort. “Uh, no, actually, I’m mad because my own BROTHER fucked my GIRLFRIEND!”

“She’s not your girlfriend! You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

“What-fucking-ever! It’s still fucked up. It’s still a betrayal!”

You hear Five laugh dangerously and you can picture his stance; body strung tight as a bow, jaw set in defiance, fists clenched.

“You don’t even care about her, Klaus. Admit it.”

There’s a pause as neither one of them say anything. You listen carefully for Klaus’s answer, if he gives one. Finally, he speaks. It’s quiet, but you can just make it out.

“Maybe not. Not in the way that I should, anyway.” He pauses. “But here’s the thing, Five. I cared about you. You know, you’re always reminding me to be careful all the time and not to be so trusting of everyone. Well, you were right; I trusted you and look how that turned out. You’re not my brother. Go fuck yourself.”

You hear footsteps and then the door slams. There’s silence again.

You don’t know what to do, so you stay put. You’re still naked, though, so you scramble off the bed and gather up your underwear and the t-shirt you were wearing. As you yank it over your head, Five opens the door and walks in. He’s carrying two mugs of hot coffee and he hands one silently over to you.

You say thank you as you accept the mug, but your smile of appreciation goes unreturned as Five crosses back the way he came and stands in the open doorway. His face is impassive. Uncaring. The opposite of the passion you saw in his eyes just hours earlier. You frown over your coffee as you take a small sip.

“I heard you and Klaus and I’m so sorry. I know this is hard, but…” you start to say, but Five cuts you off.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Look, I have a lot of things to do today, though, so you should probably get going.”

You flinch at his abruptness and you can’t even pretend to hide your hurt. You see a faint flicker of some emotion in his eyes before it’s gone again. Blank.

“What do you mean? I thought we…” your voice trails off, unable to finish the sentence as the words catch in your throat. You swallow and try again. “You said…”

Five jumps in again before you can finish. “I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was saying,” he replies, his voice flat and unmoving. “I’m sorry if I misled you. Obviously, this was a mistake.”

He says nothing more; just turns around and walks out, leaving you sitting on his bed, coffee cup in hand, and a sick feeling in your stomach. Your chest is tight and it’s hard to breathe. You can’t believe what’s happening right now. How he’s treating you. Your heart is breaking into a million pieces and it’s humiliating.

After you gather your things, pull on your clothes, and pack your bag with the few toiletries and other things you’ve been leaving there, you head out to the living room. Five is there, dressed in his normal black slacks and white button-down, sitting in one of the chairs. He has a newspaper in his lap and he doesn’t look up when you enter. You stand there, staring, until he reluctantly meets your eyes.

You are trying desperately to hold back tears, and for the most part you are doing a good job. But they are there, threatening to spill over at any second. You try to steady your voice.

“I get it if this is hard for you, Five. It’s hard for me, too. I didn’t want to come between you and your brother. But pretending that this was a mistake? That what you said last night didn’t mean anything? That’s bullshit and you know it!”

He cocks his head to the side and crosses one leg over another as he gives you a condescending smirk.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Never heard of a one-night stand?” he sneers.

“Fuck you,” you spit out, your voice hitching in your throat.

You turn away and head for the door before he can see you cry. On your way out, you stop and turn back. He’s still sitting there, looking after you, the same non-expression on his face.

“One last thing before I go. You did this, Five, not me. You pushed me away. So, if you wake up one day and you’re all alone…you only have yourself to blame. Because this could have been something really good.”

You turn and close the door behind you, not even bothering to look back again.

Chapter Six: My Own Worst Enemy

I’ve dealt with a lot of regret in my life. Times when I’ve wanted to kick my own ass and beat the living shit out of me. A couple of times I’ve been successful in rewinding time by a few minutes to fix my mistakes. Other times, not so much. But none of those times, barring that little snafu when I ended up living in a barren wasteland for 45 years, have come close to how much I hate myself right now.

After she slams the door shut, I blink myself over there. My hand is on the doorknob, mid-turn, when I stop myself again. I can’t think straight and I don’t even know what is right or what is wrong anymore. All I know is that all of this is my fault. If I had just kept to myself and kept my dick in my pants, I wouldn’t be standing here like this now. I rest my forehead against the door and squeeze my eyes shut. I briefly think about going back and changing this. I only need a few minutes, not long. I can tell her I’m sorry and that I don’t want her to leave. I can tell her I did mean everything I said before. I can try and fix it. But I don’t.

I slam my fist against the door and kick it at the same time. “FUCK!”

That’s all there is to say in this situation because I may have just lost the two most important people in my life. All because of my stupid, thoughtless actions. I feel bad about Klaus, but I know he’ll eventually get over it. He might not forgive me, but I know he’ll be ok. But her…that look in her eyes when I told her I didn’t mean any of it…I don’t think I can fix that. I wouldn’t even know how, because I don’t think I’ve ever hurt someone that badly and that viciously before. If I have, I hadn’t cared until now.

I had panicked. I thought I had made peace with everything and then Klaus had said what he did to me. You’re not my brother. And he was right. Not only am I not even his biological brother, but I have been on my high horse pretending I can protect him, when really all I do is make shit worse. What kind of a brother, adopted or not, does that?

The thing is, if I had just gone about this in a completely different way, it probably would have turned out just fine. I could have gone to him, told him I had feelings for her and that I thought maybe she felt the same way, and apologize. Maybe he would have been a little mad, but in all reality, he probably would have been fine with it. It’s the way that it happened that really threw a monkey wrench into the whole thing.

I know he wasn’t all that into her, and vice versa. But to take the same girl that your brother has been sleeping with on a regular basis and fuck her (loudly), right down the hall from him without so much as a heads-up-pre-coitus email…that’s probably some sort of code violation right there. Granted, I’m sometimes oblivious to social norms and things other people might describe as “tact”, but I do know this is a pretty blatant faux pas.

I shouldn’t have gotten so pissed. I shouldn’t have gone off to drink my feelings away. I shouldn’t have stayed in the kitchen talking to her. I shouldn’t have done a lot of things.

I was mad at Klaus for not stepping up when he should have, but I was mostly just mad at him for having her in the first place. And then when she came to his defense…that was too much. I had to get out of there before I said or did something even worse. So, I did what I usually do when things get too scrambled in my brain; I went to find some booze.

The bar I chose was the first one I had come across while I was storming down the sidewalk, and I found an empty barstool where I could sit and wallow in self-pity. The place was a total dive, but it was dark and crowded and the bartender had no issue serving me as many shots of whiskey that I asked for. I think I was on my fourth when I noticed the girl on the other end of the bar eye-fucking me. She was cute, with dark brown hair and a minuscule top that didn’t do much to hide her impressive rack. In my drunken state, I found myself staring back at her, which she took as an invitation.

I can hold my liquor, but after five shots, even I’m going to get a little sloppy. Everything was a blur. It was dark, loud, and my senses were all screwed up. She was standing between my legs, leaning in to talk to me, and I could smell her perfume which I didn’t particularly like. I don’t even know what she was saying to me. Her hand was on my thigh and she was purposefully pressing her tits against me as she talked close to my ear. I could feel her hand moving higher up my leg, and she was saying something about leaving together and going back to her place. It sounded like a good idea, but something was off.

I felt her lips brush against my cheek and that’s when I had a moment of clarity. Her voice was all wrong, her perfume was giving me a headache, and if I was paying attention to what she had been saying, I’m sure I would have found her boring. More importantly, she wasn’t her. And if it wasn’t her, I didn’t really give a shit. Grabbing the woman’s wrist with my hand, she stopped her kiss and pulled back, confused.

“Stop,” I said, gradually snapping out of the trance I had been in. When she questioned me, obviously irritated that I would be turning her advances down, I let go of her hand, pushing it off of me. “Go shove your tits in someone else’s face. I’m not interested.”

With a glare, she turned around, but not before she flipped me off and called me an asshole. That’s when I figured I should get out of there before I drank enough that I wouldn’t be able to find my way out. I also figured it would be safe to go home because she would have left the apartment hours before that. Wrong again.

When I saw her there, I just couldn’t keep it up anymore. I couldn’t see the point. And if she had slapped me across the face, or asked me to stop, I would have. I would have been humiliated, but I would have stopped. But she didn’t want me to.

God, I can still feel her body against mine and hear her moaning my name. I can still taste her on my tongue and smell the sweat on her skin. She invaded all of my senses and she’s still clinging to me. I have never begged anyone for anything in my entire life, and yet there I was, pleading with her to be with me. She had said she wanted to, and I could feel how much she meant it. We were going to be happy together; I had promised her I would take care of her like she deserves. It was all right there for me. All of the things I had been dreaming of and wanting for so long. Then I went and fucked it all up.

She was right, too. I will wake up all alone one day, and I will have no one to blame but myself.

It’s a week later, and I’m busy packing up all of my shit into boxes since I plan on moving out tomorrow. I haven’t seen much of Klaus because he hasn’t been around a lot and when he is, he avoids me and locks himself in his room. I had immediately started looking for a new place and I found one that is ok and will be fine short term. It’s also fairly close to her coffee shop, which had not been intentional, but it’s not my fault that’s where it’s located. I’m packing up some books when Klaus comes and stands in the doorway. I look up, startled. He’s holding a bottle of vodka in one hand and two shot glasses in the other.

“Mind if I come in?” he asks.

“Sure, come on in.”

He walks in and sits down on the edge of my bed. He puts the shot glasses on the side table and pours vodka into each of them, filling them to the top before he sets the bottle down. He hands one over to me and I take it from him even though I’m confused as hell right now.

“What’s this for?” I ask.

Klaus shrugs. “I don’t know, but I feel like we should have one more drink together before you move out.”

I don’t know how to respond to that, so I just follow his lead and hold my glass up in a toast before slinging it back. It burns on the way down but it tastes good.

“You don’t have to leave, you know,” Klaus says after a long pause.

“Yes, I do.”

He sighs and looks around my room. “Look, I know this is a weird situation, and I am still mad at you, but that doesn’t mean I want you to leave.”

“You told me I wasn’t your brother and to go fuck myself,” I remind him.

“Ah, yes, well…perhaps I was a bit over-dramatic. I was just a tad hungover still and you were yelling just so loudly. Really, Five, your voice just pierces right into the brain sometimes and makes people say things just to get you to stop.” I shake my head. “No, you were the appropriate amount of dramatic and I don’t blame you. You’re right, I’m a shitty brother and I messed up big time. Which is why I need to leave.”

“Look, Five, I didn’t mean all of that, ok? Yes, I was pissed. And yes, maybe what you did was not the greatest thing ever. But you were also right.”

“About what?”

“About not caring about her. I realize that regardless of our status, I still was a pretty shitty friend to her. I’m glad she had you here. Even if you did rail her hard enough I think even I could feel it.”

I cringe. “Klaus, I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t begin to cover it, but I truly am sorry.”

He nods thoughtfully. “So…how long have you been in love with her?”

I stare, open-mouthed and wide-eyed; dumbstruck. Klaus laughs.

“You think you’re so smart and slick all of the time, but I got news for you Fivey…you ain’t.”

“What are you talking about?” I sputter out, even though it’s about the worst acting anyone’s ever done.

Klaus rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “It’s ok, you can admit it. I’m not dumb or blind. Or deaf, as it turns out. I know how you operate around people, and I have never seen you like you are when you’re with her. You are one smitten kitten and you know what? Good for you.”

I am about to protest again, but when I go to deny it, I realize I just don’t have the heart or the energy for it. “Ok, you’re right, I love her. I’m sorry, but I do. I have for a while now.”

He nods and smiles, not shocked by this information. “Like I said, good for you. You deserve love and happiness in your life, Five. Would I have preferred it to be with someone I hadn’t also bumped uglies with? Probably. But hey, love works in mysterious ways, right? I mean, look at me! I fell in love with someone I met after falling out of the sky in the middle of a fucking war zone. Talk about bad timing! I guess we Hargreeves are good at bad timing, though, aren’t we?”

He laughs, even though it’s more sad than funny and I stand there for a minute in thought. Then I come to a conclusion.

“There’s only one way I’m going to feel better about this and be able to move on with a reasonably clear conscience.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to hit me.”

Klaus looks at me in disbelief. “Uh…yeah, ok, Five. I’m not falling for that.”

I shake my head and roll my shoulders back, facing him head-on. “No, I mean it. I want you to punch me directly in the face. I won’t hit back or defend myself.”

“Five, I don’t want to hit you…”

“Come on! I’m sure you’ve thought about it on several occasions before. Well, now here’s your chance. For the second time in your life, you can hit me in the face without any backlash. I promise.”

He chuckles. “Oh yeah, that was a fun day. But seriously, even if I did want to hit you, which I don’t, I’m not even good at it, you know that. I never have been. I’m like one of those guys in old cartoons where they swing and miss and just spin around in a circle.”

“Klaus, for fucks sake, stand up and punch me in the fucking face!”

After another pause, he stands up in front of me. He’s still taller than me, despite me being at my full height now. He looks down on me nervously and I see his fists clench and unclench.

“Really? You really want me to do this?”

I nod. “I really do.” Then I hold my finger up. “However, just remember this is one hit.”

He shrugs and lifts his fist up, pulling it back and I close my eyes to brace myself. WHAM! He gets me right in the jaw and he is a big fucking liar because he is good at it and it hurts like a motherfucker.

“Son of a…Fuck!” I yell, holding my face. I swear I can already feel a bruise forming and I run my tongue over my teeth to make sure they are all still accounted for.

“Oh my god, Five, are you ok? Shit, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I actually did that!” Klaus is panicking at first but after a couple of seconds, he starts laughing. “I can’t believe I actually did that. And you haven’t killed me or even maimed me! Man, I got you good, too.”

“Yeah,” I mumble, still rubbing my throbbing jaw. “Turns out it hurts a whole lot more when you know it’s coming.” Klaus continues to laugh at my pain, and even though it hurts to move my face, I grin up at him. “This was a one-time offer, by the way. So, don’t be thinking you’re hot shit, because I will drop you without a second thought.”

Klaus gives a sarcastic salute. “Message received, big bro.” He purses his lips together and gestures to the boxes around my room. “So, are you still leaving?”

I nod. “Yes, I’m still leaving. And it’s not even all because of that. I don’t think it’s doing either of us any good to be living together like this. I have realized that I was using you as an excuse not to move on with my life. I told myself I was doing you a favor when in reality, I was just looking for a purpose. Any purpose. But I need to figure that out for myself.”

“Ok, but you’re just going to leave me all alone here?”

I shrug. “Maybe Luther wants to move in.”

Klaus looks horrified. “Good lord, no thank you! You skipped out on the grosser years of having to live with that barn animal and let me tell you, it’s no picnic. I don’t need giant pairs of tighty whities thrown around my bathroom, or having boxes of my favorite cereal eaten up in two days.”

I grin and clap him on the shoulder. “You’ll figure it out, Klaus. You always do. And you don’t need me to help you do it, either.”

“Thanks, Fivey,” he says softly, before catching me off guard and pulling me in for a bear hug, trapping me against his chest.

“Ah! My face! Let go, you stupid asshole!” He lets me go and I rub at my jaw again, glaring up at him. He is unfazed so I just shake my head. Klaus will always be Klaus, and I meant what I said. He’ll be just fine without me here.

*********************************************************************

“Feet. Off. The coffee table,” I say as I whack at Klaus with a rolled-up newspaper like he’s a cat on a kitchen counter.

“Hey! Geez, alright…keep your shirt on, old man,” he protests as he tries to guard himself with his hands while removing his feet from where they were propped. “What’s got your little assassin bonnet full of bees today?”

“Nothing! Maybe I just don’t want your disgusting feet all over my furniture.”

Klaus tilts his head to the side, looking up at me. “No…I don’t think that’s it. You seem even more murderous lately than normal.” Then his face lights up. “I know! I bet you haven’t been laid in a while, that’s got to be it. That’s an easy fix, too, because I bet if I go outside right now and made an announcement that the infamous and very sexy Number Five Hargreeves was looking for some action, you’d have a stampede of pretty ladies and probably some pretty men breaking down your door.”

“Klaus,” I start to say before he interrupts.

“Wait! Here’s a better idea. Me and you, we go on the prowl tonight. I’ll take you to some great clubs where you can meet someone that’s suitable for banging. Well, they’re not clubs as much as warehouses full of people tripping on acid, but still. I guarantee I can get you laid by the end of the night.”

“Klaus.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

When he manages to look like a kicked puppy, I roll my eyes and sigh. “Thank you for your concern over my sex life, but I do not need to get laid. I’m fine.”

He eyes me up and when I look away guiltily, he gasps with a hand on his chest. “Hang on. Do not tell me the last time you put your banana in a fruit salad was with…”

My silence is the only answer he needs and he gives another dramatic gasp, which makes me grit my teeth together.

“Holy shit, Fivey! Well, no fucking wonder you’ve got your man panties in a wad lately.”

“Again, and I say this with the utmost love and respect…shut the fuck up.”

He stands up. “No, no, no…I will not shut up! So, you’re telling me that over the past six months , you’ve been carrying a torch for her? Wow, that is some romantic shit right there. But still, that shouldn’t stop you from driving the ol’ Pope mobile into some lucky lady’s Vatican now and then.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“We don’t have time to get into all of that right now. Besides, this is about you. I’m serious, Five, you can’t go on re-living your virgin years just because you’re a little hung up on one person.”

I shake my head and put my hands in my pockets. “I’m not just hung up on her. She’s all I think about. All day, all night. I still love her, Klaus.”

I don’t know why I let my walls down just now and told him the truth, but the fact is we have actually been getting along much better now that we aren’t under the same roof anymore. I’m starting to feel a little more comfortable talking about things with him. And the nice thing about Klaus is that he’s done so many weird and fucked up things in his life, he never judges.

“Oh, Five,” he says sadly. “I had no idea. You never mentioned it so I just assumed you’d moved on.”

“Yeah, well…it’s fine. I’ll get over it eventually.”

“You know, the easy solution to this is to walk your cute buns over to that coffee place of hers and tell her what you just told me. Confess your undying love. Sweep her off her feet.”

I laugh and run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I don’t think that would work. Pretty sure she hates my guts. And for good reason.”

“Listen, as someone who had a very close seat to the ‘Five Hargreeves Fuck-tacular’ show, I’m going to bet she doesn’t hate your guts. No one sounds like that while getting their naughty bits plowed into oblivion and then just forgets about it.”

Ignoring that little comment, I shake my head. “You don’t understand. I really fucked this one up and I don’t think there’s any way to come back from it.”

“Well, all you can do is try. If she hates you, then it’s as you suspected and you can move on. If not, then you two can sail off into the sunset together. There’s really nothing to lose here.”

He has a point, but the thought of just walking in there to try and talk to her is terrifying. I’m not sure I have the balls for it.

“Want me to go talk to her for you?” he asks.

“What? No!” When I see him smile mischievously, I jab my finger at him. “I’m warning you, Klaus, if you go over there and so much as even mention my name, I swear to god I will blink you to Antarctica and leave you there.”

Klaus waves his hand at me. “Please…you’ve been threatening that since we were kids. You really need to come up with something new. But, fine, I won’t go over there.”

When I nod my approval, I assume this conversation is done. It’s not, apparently, and Klaus grins at me again.

“In the meantime, how about I set you up on some casual dates? You don’t want to be out of practice if your lady decides to take you back. What do you think? You up for a game of pelvic pinochle? Burying the weasel? Filling the cream donut? Launching the meat missile?”

I massage my temples with my fingers, trying to fight off the headache I can feel forming behind my eyes. “For the love of all that is holy, Klaus, can you please shut the fuck up? I am begging you.”

He gives his annoying little Klaus giggle. “Sure thing, Fivey. Whatever you say.”

“Thank you.”

Four days later I’m whacking at him with the newspaper again. This time for a different reason.

“Ow! I didn’t mention your name, just like you told me, I swear! Ow!”

“You talked to her and gave her my address!” I yell, whacking at him harder around the head.

“Damnit, cut it out! You said don’t mention your name and I didn’t. She just happened to know who I was talking about. OW!”

I stop my assault and stand there, breathing hard through my nose as I glare at my stupid ass brother. “Why? Why the fuck did you do that?”

“Listen, Fivey, I love you and all but you are really your own worst enemy. I’m trying to move things along for you; help you out. You can’t stay here, all pent-up with sexual energy and moping around the house for the rest of your life. Don’t you want to get out there and live? Don’t you want someone to share your life with?”

I sigh and flop down into an armchair. He’s right, of course, even if I don’t want to admit it. “Maybe,” I mutter.

“Of course you do! That’s what everyone wants in life. And you, old timer, have been given the gift of time and the chance to start over. That’s like everyone’s dream! So, don’t just sit here and waste a gift like that. Not when you could be out there spreading a little of that teleporting-genius-infused DNA around with your special man sauce.”

I make a face. “Gross. Please don’t say ‘man sauce’ again.”

“Anyway…she didn’t say she wanted you dead and she accepted the piece of paper I gave her, so…I don’t know, those are both good things, right?”

“I guess. Did she say anything else?” I ask, trying not to get my hopes up.

Klaus shakes his head. “No, sorry.”

I wasn’t expecting anything, but it still feels like a bit of a blow. I nod, and then I look at Klaus suspiciously. “Did you say anything else?”

He puts a hand to his chest. “Who, moi ? Of course not. Well, I did apologize for everything that went down, but like I said, your name didn’t come up.”

“Hmm…why do I get the feeling that’s not the full truth?”

Klaus shrugs innocently. “I have no idea, but trust me. I bet any day now she’ll come knocking on your door wanting some more of that sweet, sweet loving from you. Just you wait.”

As if his prophecy was about to be fulfilled at that precise moment, I glance towards the door. What would I even say if she really did show up here? I had been avoiding her place like the plague, even though that meant taking much longer routes to certain places. Except for those few times when I couldn’t help myself and I watched through the windows from across the street and then blinked away before she could spot me. Otherwise, the thought of having to face her again makes my stomach churn. So, maybe Klaus did do me a favor. Maybe she really will hunt me down and knock on my door one day soon. If she does, I’m sure it will be just for the opportunity to chew me out. But, even so, the thought of seeing her standing in front of me again makes my pulse race just a little faster.

Link to the next few chapters here!

@baileebear

#five hargreeves x you #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #number five x you #five hargreeves #number five #klaus hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua #number five fanfic #umbrella academy #tua fanfic #five x you #five x reader #tua five #smut #female reader #five hargreeves smut #fanfiction #requests open #umbrella academy fanfiction #umbrella academy fanfic #multi chap fic

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

Do you have any shuggy fanfic recommendations? I already read and rearead (and reread) yours one piece ff…

i can certainly give you some recs!

everything's hosted on ao3 and set in the one piece universe; i do read modern/mundane AUs but i'm always really picky about how an author adapts a ship's canon history into an AU, so i've yet to find one that really grabs me except that one college AU i forgot to save a link to… i hope i'll find you again someday…

for all my life i’ve watched from afar, i’m too afraid to try by Badopportunities - complete, 18k

this is probably my favorite shuggy fic i've read so far. a canon divergence in which shanks hunts down ace instead of whitebeard to warn him off the blackbeard hunt directly, and just so happens to find ace while he's hanging out with buggy's crew. love the outside POVs on shanks & buggy before their history was common knowledge, love their dynamic while trying to keep that history secret, love the optimistic way the story ends.

uncharted waters by vestigialmoods - complete, 41k

a long, multi-POV sorta kinda get-together—this one written after we knew the warlord system was being dissolved but before we learned about cross guild. buggy tries to figure out what to do now that he's lost government protection; shanks is encouraged to go for what he wants for once, instead of passively letting fate decide his path. features very fun characterization for both crews, and a really well-crafted scene that deals with phantom limb pain and sexual tension simultaneously.

in the deepest depths i lost myself, i see myself through someone else by Badopportunities - WIP, 36k

it may be gauche to rec multiple fics by the same author but Badopportunities has yet to steer me wrong! this is set during the timeskip, while buggy is searching for an island to claim as his warlord base of operations and shanks is trying to look after former whitebeard territories. they clash. uses one of my favorite lines for a childhood friends-to-lovers ship: one of them says he's single because he's having trouble finding a partner with “similar life experiences.” iykyk

currently incomplete at 4/5 chapters, last updated in 2022… but they just posted a new chapter of their other shuggy wip (which i also recommend, buggy time travels and saves ace & uta) this week, so it feels like anything's possible!

I'll See You in My Dreams by doublejoint - complete, 4k

shanks keeps dreaming of being older, on a ship with only buggy for company, wearing matching rings and sailing for who knows where. i love how efficiently and effectively this fic explores his thoughts on these dreams over the years—are they visions of the future, his secret desires, bad gas? the ending is very sweet.

We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together (and other lies Buggy tells himself) by Transformatron - complete, 11k, explicit

i am not much for smut (being ♠️🏳️‍🌈 and all), but occasionally one gets in the mood, and this fic has some intense emotions to go along with the intense, kinda kinky smut. shanks has found out about cross guild and comes to see buggy, not convinced that this is a safe, sane, and consensual situation buggy's found himself in. they fight about it, and then… 😳

there is background established buggy/crocodile/mihawk, but crocodile and mihawk aren't present for the explicit portion of the fic.

i like lipstick on my neck by kiriya - complete, 20k, explicit

if i'm recommending smut-with-feelings, i have to rec this fic. genderbent butch/femme shanks and buggy run into each other in east blue, post-roguetown and pre-canon, and spend three chapters bickering, drinking, and… you know. absolutely fantastic characterization, buggy is an awful little gremlin and shanks likes her very much despite herself.

i don't know if the fic was inspired by this art or if the art was inspired by this fic, but either way… if you read the fic you should look at the art. that butch shanks is just. absolutely inspired.

#asked and answered #fic recs #one piece #shuggy

[nodirectionhome-ao3]

WIP Tag

Thanks for the tag @kay-elle-cee, @alittlebitofeverything23, and @isahorcrux !!! This is such a fun one. :)

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends

Titles

Kindly Stopped for Me: Chapter 33. Lily lives AU, where Lily falls into a coma on Halloween 1981 and wakes up at the end of GoF. Lots of angst and family feels.

The Joker and The Queen: Chapter 3. A Jily fake-dating fic. Shenanigans abound. An "Idiots in Love" kind of story.

James Lives AU (Title TBA): Outline & Chapter 1. Basically a James version of Kindly Stopped for Me. James survives Halloween 1981 in a way that I will not spoil for you, and wakes up later on when Harry is a teenager.

Forever is the Sweetest Con: Short multi-chapter. Jily as con artists who fall in love while trying to con each other.

Fragile Little Flame: A post-war Hinny fic! Most likely a one-shot, but we'll see what happens.

(I’m not including the KSFM Missing Moments that I’m working on in this, since I don’t post them on AO3, but just know that I haven’t forgotten them!!!)

Upcoming Scenes, Events, Details

I've been making some minor changes to my outline for KSFM, so the exact numbers may change, but looking at it from a birds-eye view—Chapters 35 and 39 are two of the angstiest chapters in the entire fic😅 So...in preparation for that...I'm giving you all a slight break from the heaviness of this fic with chapters 33 and 34. I'm hoping it won't feel like a crazy tone switch after the previous two chapters, but I'm excited! Chapter 33 is a bit of a transition chapter (setting up some important things!) so maybe won't be the most exciting thing to read. But it will include Lily watching Harry in a Gryffindor Quidditch match for the first time and the gang celebrating Sirius’s 36th birthday!🎂🎂🎂 So hopefully you all will enjoy that!! And then Chapter 34 will be a Harry POV and will feature some good old-fashioned teenage romance drama😅

Chapter 3 of The Joker and The Queen has taken soooo long to write because it's something I sort of have to be in the right mindset for. (I still don't have a full outline for it because I posted the first chapter impulsively before I really thought about the plot very much lol) But I'm hoping it will be worth the wait!! The chapter will feature Lily meeting Fleamont and Euphemia (and possibly some Potter extended family members too) for the first time. I've never written James's parents before, so I'm excited!

Oh man, oh man. What can I say about the James lives au?? I'm currently drafting multiple vague outline ideas as I work through the timeline that I want it to take place in. But, despite what I've said previously, I'm finding myself starting to lean towards setting it in the OotP universe after all. (but no promises yet!) I'm staying kind of vague about the plot of this since it's still very much under consideration, but I'll just say that Peter's betrayal and its ramifications will be a major focus. The betrayal will happen slightly differently than it does in canon (as some of you have already guessed!), and I expect it to be devastating😈

Forever is the Sweetest Con is a fic that has been percolating in my brain for a WHILE now. I haven't officially outlined it yet, but I already made the banner so it's officially happening! It will be canon divergent, and I'm excited to explore the cat-and-mouse dynamic that I envision when I think about this one.

Fragile Little Flame is a fic inspired by Taylor Swift's "I Know Places" and is also one that I already have a banner and title for, but no outline. It'll be a post-war Hinny fic (I've been wanting to return to writing them!) and will take place in the 19 years between the end of DH and the epilogue. I haven't really thought about the plot in detail yet, but it probably won't be epilogue-compliant. Harry will (probably) be a Quidditch player rather than an Auror, and the fic will explore Harry and Ginny recovering from the war and rebuilding their relationship amongst the chaos of both grief and fame.

Apologies if you've already been tagged! But here's a no-pressure tag to: @suzyq31 @nena-96 @uncertainwallflower @turanga4 @takearisk-ao3 @annasghosts @practicecourts

#wip game #cam writes #wip tag #was tagged

[spreta-invidia]

Do you have a daemyra fic rec list please? I’m desperately searching but they don’t live up to what you write I love your writing so much !! ❤️

Thank you so much!!! <3 That means so much to me! Thank you for reading and loving my writing.

I didn't have an actual Daemyra rec list, but I put a short one together today! There's so much fic in this fandom that I love, and so much that I have in my tbr queue also!

One Shots (canon or canon AU)

Those Happy Golden Years by SeveDeChampagne: This is actually a series of one shots set between episodes 7 and 9 that I think are just lovely. This is also maybe my favorite subgenre of Daemyra fic?

girls have their secrets by ginvael: This fits the subgenre above also! This is more focused on Rhaenyra, Baela, and Rhaena, and their relationships as the girls grow up. I really love ginvael's writing.

watching, always from the outskirts by vintagemocha: This is Alicent POV, but hear me out- it's great. The outsider POV works so well here to show Daemyra through the years.

burn for me by luthien_under_bough: Dark young queen Rhaenyra demands a special declaration of fealty from Daemon. Luthien's writing is so, so good basically always, and in this piece what got me was her use of detail. Also. Hot.

Multi-chapter (canon or canon AU)

Lavender Haze by madgirlslovesong: I think this is my favorite take on the idea of a disinherited Rhaenyra. This fic pairs really wonderful emotion with really interesting plotting/politics, and some excellent Daemyra content.

Bigger than the Whole Sky by CharlieLeau: Would you like your heart to be broken and broken and then mended? Then this is the fic for you! Instead of bearing her three sons during the ten year separation, in this fic Rhaenyra suffers a series of miscarriages, so the Rhaenyra Daemon reunites with is very different than in canon.

WIPs (canon or canon AU)

Threads of Black, Threads of Green by madgirlslovesong: I described this the other day as "if HotD was actually like ASOIAF" which is probably the highest compliment I can give. The hunt for the white hart inspires Rhaenyra to step up her political game. I caught up with this over two nights and I was so tired at work. Worth it.

Battlefields by calenlily: I'm a sucker for warrior Rhaenyra, but especially in the way calenlily does it here: very much a young woman in a new arena, with missteps and moments of glory both. Super excited for the rest of this. (Calenlily is another writer whose work I enjoy very much!)

Maternal Love by ginvael: An Aemma fix-it! I LOVE time travel fix-its, and this is one of my favs. There are some excellent moments between Aemma and Rhaenyra here.

Speaking of time travel fix-its... I think these two are abandoned, but I love what's there: Beyond the Black Door and five seconds later.

Modern AUs

Petrichor by sweetestsorrows: Really great Rhaenyra POV that takes the reader on a seven-year roller coaster through her relationship with Daemon.

entropy by firecollide (WIP): One of the first modern AUs I read in this fandom! In addition to being super fun, this fic also reignited my love for Arctic Monkeys.

This is definitely incomplete as lists go. I am perpetually behind on things and sort of a sloppy bookmarker (and also not a great comment leaver, though I am trying so hard to get better at that- it means SO much to me when people leave comments that it's almost talked me out of the incessant "oh god why does anyone care what you have to say, ugh you're probably sounding like an idiot" that goes through my head often/always tbh). There are gaps in here I should fill, and some fics are not available right now that any list of my favs feels naked without (High Hopes, I'm looking at you).

Let me know if you love any of these in particular! <3

#hotd fic #daemyra #fic rec

[internetgremlin-writes]

Hiii! Congratulations!🎉

Could I request 2 & 106 with Max Verstappen🥵

Thank you!

2 - "Wait a minute, are you jealous?"

106 - "I'm going to fuck you until you forget that asshole's name,"

Thank you anon!! Angry Max just hits different. And a POV switch? Hope you likey

Warnings: SMUT!!! Jealous/possessive max

Prompt night info and list to request your own ficlet/HCs here!

He'd won.

He won the first-ever race in Miami. He was the F1 world champion. He won nearly every race he finished. He was funny, charming, and sweet when he wanted to be. He thought he was pretty good lucking, tall enough and he was ripped. He had nothing to be insecure about but somehow looking across the packed Miami club to where someone else was talking to you, he couldn't help but feel like the little boy left at the gas station.

Lost, sure, but also bubbling with rage. Boiling, in fact.

Max knew he was the jealous type, but he had no rights over you. You weren't his girlfriend, in fact, you were barely his friend. But that didn't stop the fact that he was seething, his stomach feeling like a ball of snakes as he watched the guy touch your arm. He was too close, far too close. Whispering in your ear, his other hand tucking your hair behind your ear. Max was gripping the beer bottle in his hand so tightly that his knuckles were white. He was vaguely aware of someone speaking in his own ear, another stupid American who didn't understand a thing about the sport.

You laughed, and his stomach dropped through the floor because, shit, what if you really liked this guy? In the dark of the club, with sweaty bodies packed in and multi-coloured lights sweeping the floor, anyone could look hot he reasoned. But still, who were you to be flirting with anyone who looked at you? Well, you, he guessed. Because he knew you belonged to no one.

Max had met you a few months ago. You worked... somewhere in the paddock. He'd been meaning to ask you for a while but the problem was, whenever you were around Max didn't want to do much talking at all. You didn't seem to mind, because every time he saw you it ended up the same way. In his driver's room, against one of the lorries, in the back of his car, he didn't care so long as it was you that he was coming undone over. It was strictly casual, he knew that, no strings attached. You barely knew anything about each other but that didn't stop the fact that he was completely consumed by you.

Especially when you were here, in that stupid little dress and those stupid heels that made your legs look like literal heaven, shaking your hips to the beat of the music. He could have fucked you right there on the dance floor. Except you'd not even looked at him once.

He didn't understand it. Girls at these parties loved guys, especially the drivers themselves. And the winner? He was usually drowning in attention, he had the pick of the bunch if you will. Maybe that was why he was so obsessed with you because you were absolutely not obsessed with him.

The guy's hand landed on your ass, and even at this distance, Max could see him moving closer to you and his fingers closing around the soft flesh. He leant his head down and Max found himself completely and totally fixated on you, begging please god please don't let him kiss you, and the relief when you ducked out at the last second, allowing him access to your neck only. Still, it was enough for Max.

He downed the rest of his beer and cut his way quickly across the dancefloor. He must have had that glower he was constantly being told off about on his face because no one tried to approach him or congratulate him, and it took him less than a song's length to get close to you. Now you were so close he found himself freezing. He didn't know what to do, what if you actually wanted to be with the guy that was wrapping himself around you instead of him?

He was about to turn around and leave you to your night of fun when you spotted him. You held his gaze with confident ease and Max realised that there was no way he could leave you there even if he wanted to. He felt like a deer caught in headlights, his mind slow to catch up with his body. He decided to ignore the guy, which was hard because the little voice in his head that usually made him win races was currently screaming at him to punch him in the face and not stop until he didn't get up.

"Can I have this dance?" He finally managed, and there was a not-so-secret part of him that was thrilled when you immediately dropped the guy, who looked a little disappointed, but very quickly shrugged it off when he saw who Max was, and left the pair of you to it. You wasted no time on getting to work with Max. Your hip-shaking and twisting hands seemed aimless before, except now they were on him. Max's pants were uncomfortably tight within seconds and he could feel his resolve already dissolving right before his eyes. You were an angel, or maybe a sorceress. Because you had him under some kind of spell for sure.

Throwing all caution to the wind Max grabbed your wrist and before the song had finished you were out of the club and walking home. He didn't hesitate to put his jacket on your shoulders. It was a mild night in Miami, but you just looked so damn good in his clothes.

"Who was that?" He couldn't sound light and curious if he tried.

"Why?" He hated that you sounded so light, so unbothered.

"I just want to know," he knew he blew it already. His voice has that textbook sulk.

"Wait a minute, are you jealous?" How had you clocked on so easily? Was he that transparent around you? Your eyes were sparkling, the smile tugging at your lips teasing him, begging him to come closer to you. Max gritted his teeth. Admitting his feelings was hard enough on a good day, but now? A little drunk in front of a girl he barely knew? If he didn't think it might just give him the edge on you he would have stayed silent.

"Yes," he forced the word out, and the reward was oh so worth it. Your eyes widened, lips, full and pink and begging to be kissed, puffing out, a silent 'Oh' escaping you. Max was done. He picked up the pace, you falling into his quickstep and he didn't dare look at you or say another word to you until you were inside his hotel.

He took the stairs, three flights. It was stupid and time-wasting, but he couldn't trust himself in the lift with you. He'd fuck you against the mirror without a second thought for the CCTV cameras.

He pulled you inside his hotel room, and turned you, pushing you against the wall. Your chest was rising quickly, giving it away that maybe you liked this too. He couldn't wait any longer, his lips crashing onto, the turmoil of emotions he'd been building in the club exploding like a geyser as he pushed them all onto you. And you, Jesus fucking Christ, you.

You were moaning right into his mouth, your tongue battling with his, your hands raking through his hair, pulling harder than you needed to but it felt so damn good. You felt so damn good. It was primal, Max knew that, but he didn't care. He had gone past the point of no return and he needed you now.

"I'm going to fuck you until you forget that asshole's name," he spat, not angry in the slightest with you but the thought of that guy touching you made the rage boil within him once more and before you had time to argue he had your thighs wrapped around his waist and he was thrusting into you with relentless force and fuck it was so good and you were so tight. You were making filthy sounds, his name rolling off your tongue with every thrust. Max couldn't even kiss you because he knew he'd cum the second he did.

The feeling of you contracting around him hard and screaming his name, and his name only was enough. He came so hard he saw stars, and you.

You caught his lips in a sweet kiss and Max knew he didn't have a prayer against you.

#word counts are relative lol #1.3k prompt night #this is getting busy i LOVE IT #max verstappen #hot max #angry max #max verstappen smut #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #formula one #F1

[inimitablereel]

2023 Fic+Vid recs

A variety of things I liked this year, made this year. Once again, this got long, so fic recs and fandom-specific recs for dmbj are below the cut. But first a few miscellaneous vids

[vid] Cockroach Motherfuckers by eruthros, thingswithwings multifandom Immortal queer characters multi-vid! This is exactly as much fun and hopeful as it sounds. I've seen maybe 2 of the sources so you know, you don't have to have seen them all.

(We) Didn't Just Come Here to Dance [Fanvid] by FairestCat fandom: Newsies I haven't actually seen newsies, but I really liked this vid. Taking the (very dramatic) musical theater dancing and putting it to a Carly Rae Jepsen song works SUPER well, visually very fun time. Also, unions!

[Vid] Oceanographer's Choice by absternr fandom: Heroes (cdrama 2022) Bai Choufei, Su Mengzhen, and Lei Chun's fucked up relationship(s)/falling apart bad times. This vid is deeply upsetting, just a real exploration of sometimes caring a lot about each other makes everything worse. For maximum sad times, this goes well with absternr's other heroes vid, hey, I just met you, which is the meet-cutes that led to this whole mess.

[AMV] The Draw by Lovely Goblin fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena Black Rose Arc! I've watched this vid so many times really good weird and creepy black rose arc vibes really good parallels between all the different duelists

Also blanket rec that if you've seen Everything Everywhere All at Once, consider looking for vids for it. There's a bunch on ao3 (which can be easier to navigate than youtube, though there are definitely more total vids on youtube) and they're pretty much all spectacular? I was going to include one or two in this rec post and couldn't decide

The wild phonemes of 40 Eridani Keid by astronicht Fandom: Star Trek (aos/tos mashup canon) relationship: Spirk ~10k words rated E You know if you'd told me a year ago I'd be reccing a spirk fic in 2023 I would have been a bit surprised. This is not particularly my fandom wheelhouse. But you know, they're always good, and this fic is really great. This is almost an episode-fic except that nothing really happens plot-wise. But instead of a plot we get a lot of musing about geology and diplomacy and clever references to current events as history in that very trek kind of way and Spock being bitchy just for fun.

fuori dal mondo by bladedweaponsandswishycoats fandom: Qi Ye relationship: Beiyuan/Wu Xi, Beiyuan/Zhou Zishu (more plot than ship focused) ~60k words rated E This is a retelling of Qi Ye except Beiyuan is... some kind of eldritch horror, part-time. It pretty much goes beat for beat through canon (which I appreciate, I loved that book and do not like any of the current tls enough to reread) but with the added layer of whatever is going on with this eldritch thing, which is very cool and tied into canon so don't let me spoil it for you.

We're Leaving Our Shadows Behind Us by lady_ragnell fandom: Tortall - Protector of the Small relationship: Kel/Neal/Yuki ~70k words rated T Canon retelling of Squire and Lady Knight but from Neal's POV. This fic really digs into Neal as a character and the details of the worldbuilding of Tortall, especially the chamber of the ordeal. Also somewhere along the way it sold me on this ship, which I wasn't exactly rooting for when I read the books the first time.

The Untamed/MDZS

a harmony between qin and se by Alaceron relationship: Wangxian ~60k words rated E This is a gender-bent (to make it a het romance) no magic historical drama au where Wei Wuxian is a woman who's arranged to marry Lan Wangji. Honestly this is pretty far from the untamed, especially in terms of themes, though some plot elements will be familiar, but mostly it's just a really great compellingly written historical drama, that happens to have main characters with some familiar characteristics.

Like a Game of Chess by countingcr0ws relationship: Wangxian ~40k words rated T Modern au: influencer Wei Wuxian runs into Lan Wangji on a trip to Taiwan and they travel around together. I love all the little details of their trip - it's like getting to see a new place without going anywhere. Also sometimes I forget that wangxian are very cute? They're a good ship brant

The Epic Highs and Lows of High School Zine Production by el_em_en_oh_pee relationship: Jin Ling & Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling & the mdzs juniors ~7k words rated G Modern au: High schooler Jin Ling has big feelings about a lot of things, including zines, gender, and family. One of those juniors-centric fics that makes me say oh they are Teens huh.

DMBJ

A Little Hole in the Wall by MountainRose gen, Liu Sang centric ~8k words rated G Honestly I would rec this fic even to people who know nothing about tomb shows. One thing that really draws me to a book is descriptions of food (I have read multiple food memoirs this year), and this restaurant au has AMAZING food (and food prep) in it. Not too plotty, mostly just descriptions of delicious things and characterization via cooking.

green with an attitude by ilgaksu relationship: heihua ~8k words rated T If you are in the English language dmbj fandom and you care at all about heihua you probably have already checked out ilgaksu's fic, which has basically defined heihua for the English language fandom. My favorite heihua moments are when other people show up and give you that foil to realize how weird they are, and this fic has that both via Xiuxiu and Wu Xie. Also, a fic about dancing!

making anything last, keeping anything safe by A (mumblemutter) relationship: Wu Xie/Xiao Bai (background pingxie) ~8k words rated M Post canon Xiao Bai takes Wu Xie to explore a tomb that should be perfectly safe... (They set off a sex pollen trap.) I don't particularly ship this, but this fic was extremely well done and kind of sold me on the ship. Fun tomb, really fun characterization for everyone involved.

A World Made Over, Fresh and New by Thimblerig gen, iron triangle, Wu Xie & Li Cu ~1k words rated G If you've ever gotten specific dmbj fic recs from me, it's probably included something by Thimblerig, they're amazing at pulling in very specific canon snippets in under 5k words and I'd generally recommend going through their work by tags if you're looking for fic with underloved side characters or fic set during a part of canon that isn't UN or post-canon, which are generally easier to find. That said, this particular fic is in fact the fandom staple of post-reboot let's go look at a tomb and pulling in a big ensemble cast including some reboot folks. But it's a staple because it's a good vibe, and this is a really well done sliver of friendship and relationship building and perhaps even a tomb trap?

[Vid] Still Into You by absternr iron triangle ot3 This vid is a bop! Multi-tomb show iron triangle being in love, through the years! I've got this bookmark tagged as "joyful"

[vid] When He Died by teyla Wu Sanxing-centric This vid really leans into the weird tomb nonsense and conspiracies and builds to something quite odd, meant in the best possible way. A concentrated version of what tomb shows want to be at their best, from a horror/strange spooky things perspective. Mind the tags.

[Vid] Before I Do by absternr Xiuxiu character study A vid all about Xiuxiu being a badass - she's so clever and cunning and she will figure out and surpass her family history.

#reclist #last year's version of this I had a nif section and I was a little surprised I didn't have ANY this year #but the nif exchange is a little later this year and also tbh I have more or less just reread nif fics so my rec would be... #reread that ruthless love (or check it out if you haven't already) #once again if you have been thinking about making a rec post please do I would like to have recs #tumblr really wanted this to be formatted with big font hopefully I caught all of it :/

[tryslora]

What I'm Reading Wednesday...

On the Duck Prints Press reading server, it’s What I’m Reading Wednesday where we all share what we finished in the last week, what we are currently reading, and what we think of these books.

I figured hey, why not bring that to the rest of the world for myself. Because I love yelling about my current reads. And I’ve always got several things in motion at one time, between physical, audio, and ebooks, plus things I’m reading for specific reasons.

Here’s the summary from the last week in visual format (the actual discussion is behind the read-more):

Fiction

I am currently reading Many Drops Make a Stream by Adrian Harley (from Duck Prints Press). There are so many things to love in this book. The world building packs so much into such a small space. The culture clash between human and shapeshifter is wonderful (and Harley’s shapeshifters truly have a culture all their own). I thought it was going to be a quick read because it’s short, but the language and depth of information have me going slower and savoring every word. That said, I’ve also reached the point where I want to take it in faster, so I find myself spending a little extra time every time I pick it up, just to get a few more pages!

Manga & Graphic Novels

I have one manga and one graphic novel in progress.

I’ve been reading The Complete Elfquest, volume 1 by Wendy & Richard Pini for a little over two weeks now. We have several of these volumes, and my intention is to read one chapter/issue a night, so I am able to savor them slowly, but also get through them. Reading this first volume is like coming home into a fandom from childhood. The first chunk of it was also collected in the original Warp Graphics compilations, and I can’t remember how often I read those back in high school. I’m reaching the parts now where I probably only read the individual issues once or twice, so it’s familiar, but not to the point where I’m like oh yes, I remember gazing at that panel for hours. I still love these elves, and this story, and I cannot wait to get home each day and be allowed to read a chapter. I’m looking forward to when I reach new-to-me material.

I watched the 24 episode anime The Apothecary Diaries and I wasn’t ready to let it go when it was over, so I started reading the manga by Natsu Hyuuga and Nekokurage. I finished volumes 5 & 6 this past week and am currently reading volume 7. I have the remaining already published volumes waiting for when I’m done with this. I adore Maomao and Jinshi, and am incredibly excited to get to the point where canon moves past what is in the anime. That said, getting to revisit events I already watched on TV and linger over what was said and the exact expressions has been soooo good. (And yes, I know the light novels also exist and will be rolling into those in ebook form after the manga; I might be a tad bit obsessed).

Audiobook

A while ago I thought “I should read some TJ Klune” so I checked the library list I had for audiobooks, and the first of his Extraordinaries trilogy was available in audio. I listened to it. I was addicted. I’m now on the third book—Heat Wave—and I find it very very hard to put it down. I can’t listen while working, only while commuting, walking, or doing chores—things that don’t require me to actually think so I can multi-task. But hey, it’s a GREAT way to get me to do my PT since it means fifteen minutes more of audiobook listening! Nick, the POV character, has ADHD and I flail a lot over pretty much everything he thinks and does. I love every character in this series. I love how Klune is using superheroes as an allegory for the queer experience and for racial issues, but at the same time, is actually addressing those issues explicitly. I both want to listen faster to find out what happens, and linger so it doesn’t end.

Ebook

I have been reading Wayfinder by CE Murphy, which is the second in a duology. This is a romance, yes, but it’s another fun culture clash book, this time between humanity and faerie, and I am so here for that. Murphy is an author I used to read a lot from, and I’m trying to work my way through her back catalog slowly because I’ve always enjoyed her style. Accessible and fun. This series is about a woman who has always been able to hear lies (a Truthseeker), and how her talent develops, and how she works with the faerie kingdoms to try to help them (despite some of them not wanting help, and the original situation not being the one she’s actually needed for).

Non-fiction

I have been working my way through three non-fiction books.

One is A Year of Zen by Bonnie Myotai Treace. I had been looking for a journaling prompt book, and decided to give this one a try. I made the difficult decision to write directly in the book itself, then the additional decision to let myself fail if needed. So if I don’t get to answer a prompt on a day, I just answer it the next day. One prompt per day. It’ll take me more than a year to go through it, but that’s okay. The idea is to have me think and write a short paragraph every day, and not feel guilty about messing up. It’s working surprisingly well. Learning to let myself fail has been a big part of my process this year, and hopefully I am learning to let go of some of the anxiety about things needing to be matched and rigid.

The one I am stalled on right now is The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. It was recommended as a book that therapists like to use for themselves, not merely recommend to their patients, and it reminded me of the radical acceptance I’m supposed to be practicing (and apparently am, despite myself, according to my therapist after she listened to me). The problem is, it has exercises (doesn’t everything?) and I stalled out because I didn’t have time.

Time is a theme, y’know? And that’s what happened with the last non-fiction book. I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, taking it as a self-guided 12 week course. I’m currently on week 5. However, I did a week of just doing morning notes before I really got started, then I took a week off when everything went haywire in my schedule because of the power outage. So it’s been about seven weeks so far. This week, as I worked on exercises, I found myself really digging in to my emotions about this book. And in the end, I decided that while I can see the value in some things, the book itself is giving me more anxiety about everything to do with my writing, while at the same time making it impossible for me to find time TO write (while following the advice it gives). So. I am no longer doing it as a course, with exercises, but I will finish reading it. And if an exercise appeals, I’ll do it. It’ll still take time, because I’ll probably still read one chapter each weekend, but I am already feeling WAY less stressed and I only made this decision last night.

So…

That’s it for me! What are you reading?

#what i'm reading wednesday #duck prints press #reading #books

[heavencasteel420]

Maddie - Yay, great! 👏🏼

Here are the questions! Looking forward to reading your responses… 😊

I mostly have ideas for multi-chapter fics, especially when it comes to Jancy, but I think I like writing one-shots more.

I usually do a very rough outline before starting a chapter (a list of scenes/plot points/goals) but revise it a lot as I go (like deciding to combine two scenes or insert a new one).

Usually I have a couple of vague ideas about plot points and vibes first. For example, with Drive All Night, it occured to me that the S1 Jancy scene where they practice shooting in the woods had Bonnie and Clyde vibes, and then I saw the 1932 movie Wild Boys of the Road and liked how it escalated from "teen comedy set during Depression" to "bleak chaotic Depression Era social drama with really satisfying violence." I let those ideas percolate a little and maybe ramble about them on Tumblr or to my IRL friend who's never watched Stranger Things. Then I write a first chapter to see if it has legs. If I'm having fun and feel intrigued about what's going to happen next, I continue. With one-shots, I usually have a specific idea I want to convey, so I think more about the overall arc I want and how each scene pushes towards that.

I get a lot of ideas from watching other media and deciding that I want to put characters in that kind of situation. I have a Jancy-Byler idea (pretty low on things that I'd actually write) where Jonathan, Will, and El are siblings who have powers (mind-reading, being a medium, and telekinesis, respectively) during the 1930s and work for carnivals before deciding to run a con on the town of Hawkins (particularly the Wheeler and Harrington families, about to unite through the marriage of Nancy and Steve). This came about because I love the movie The Brothers Bloom and had recently watched the remake of Nightmare Alley. Sometimes fandom discourse provides inspiration. For Tonight, Tonight, for example, I got annoyed with people not understanding why Jonathan initially thinks Joyce is losing her mind re: the lights and so decided to write an AU where his worst fears come to pass; exploring the consequences for Nancy kind of followed from that.

I've participated in a lot of writing workshops and really appreciate constructive criticism in the right context, but on a fanfic I've already posted, from someone whose tastes/goals may be very different from my own, is not that context. People are entitled to their opinions, but at that point I'm probably not going to change anything.

I don't have my work beta'd.

I have two dual POV WIPs going right now (Tonight, Tonight and my not-yet-posted Robin-and-Jonathan friendship fic) and two fics (Drive All Night and Ugly as Sin) with a single POV. It depends partly on who's the main character (Ugly as Sin is way more about Chrissy than Eddie or anyone else), who's going through the more dramatic changes (Nancy in Drive All Night), and how much information I want to convey.

I like the middle of a story, because that's when everything gets complicated. Endings are the hardest to write.

Yes, I comment, but not as much as I would like to!

“Look, I get it,” she said, blinking rapidly. “Robin’s the pretty one. But she’s also really immature and flaky, and she’s never going to go out with you.” [Spoken to Jonathan by one of Robin's friends; he knows she's a lesbian and does not in fact want to go out with her, but he's like "hey" on her behalf.]

Off the top of my head: already wise, already worn by throttlegainwell; How Do We Get to There from Here? by nyctanthes; and where the hours bend by fakelight.

I don't need a ton of feedback, but just one person saying that they like or want to see more of something makes all the difference.

Don't get too attached to your vision of how a scene/chapter should go if it's not working in the moment. Also, if I want to do something weird or risky or gross, it's probably actually a good idea.

Sometimes emotional scenes come really easy, but other times I have to sit down and outline everything the characters might be feeling so I can decide how much to reveal/describe. There's always a decision to be made how direct to be about a character's feelings; there's a time to convey it really subtly through how the character perceives their environment and their body language and all, but there's also a time to go "he felt like shit." And I do feel what the characters feel, quite often! I cried a lot writing Tonight, Tonight, let me tell you. I also draw from personal experience a lot, although it's not always super-direct.

There's so much pressure in writing smut scenes! I generally don't try to make them "sexy" so much as I try to convey what the characters are feeling (i.e., that they like looking at each other and enjoy what they're doing). How graphic I get usually depends on the character's attitude and the pacing of the story. I value sexual frankness in writing in general, though.

Three active WIPs (two posted) and twenty other ideas, roughly. My two big ideas are (a) a slice-of-life No Upside Down AU centered on Nancy, Jonathan, Mike, and Will and (b) a film noir homage with some Gone Girl stuff going on.

I leave it for a little while. Then I go back and try to figure out where I stopped getting interested, or I skip to the "good part."

I usually come up with a title towards the beginning of the writing process and then change it a million times. Mostly I get titles from song lyrics.

Looking at "additional tags" only, "Child Abuse" and "Minor Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler" are in the lead. Jonathan and Chrissy are both going through it usually, and I do like writing Steve and Nancy as a temporary romance.

For some reason, "Jonathan buys a used car from Lonnie" is a scenario that comes up a lot? I like writing about food, clothes, and money. I like putting in random stuff that isn't really part of the current pop culture vision of the 1980s, like holdovers from the 1970s or how much awful TV everyone was watching.

Probably! I used to write stories with my best friend when we were in middle school (mostly original stuff) and that was always really fun.

I probably wouldn’t write a crossover with a work that’s already shown up a lot in the fandom (like It, The Black Phone, or Scream).

If you cut a passage from a story, save it in a separate document because it could be useful later.

So many people insist that “cum,” not “come,” should be used as a verb for orgasming, but that’s not true unless you’re going for the sleaziest vibe possible (no judgment).

I've been happy with the response on all my fics, but Tonight, Tonight, the Highway's Bright has a special place in my heart because it's so weird and sad.

Drive All Night, due to all the murders and crimes.

My favorite part is when you get a really good but unexpected idea, either out of the blue or after mulling things over for a while. My least favorite part is getting stuck on a scene because you can't figure out how to say that a character got up from a chair or something really silly like that.

250-500 hundred words, probably.

I'm a slow writer but I edit pretty fast. I check for typos and I take out unnecessarily wordy bits.

I share bits of rough drafts but not the whole thing.

#gnarly-love #asks

[altschmerzes]

I do follow hockey, but definitely not enough for this thing with Thierry because all I’m coming up with is Fleury and I don’t think he’s from Montreal and I don’t think he played there either so can you explain? Google informed me that Carey Price exists which like yes thank you google I am aware

LOREAUX. YES. WHEEZE. THANK YOU.

just- okay. bear with me for a moment here where i wax on a bit about the huge potential for A Big Interesting Internal Landscape in thierry zoreaux, a canadian goalie from montréal. (if i get anything wrong in the process forgive me, this is all off the dome based on My Personal Experience And Perspective as a longtime sports fan. also it got.... long lmaooo sorry for that. i simply think goalies are fascinating and thierry specifically has such an interesting context for Being A Goalie. also no season 3 spoilers in here!.)

you're correct that fleury isn't from mtl, no! he's from another city in the province, and he never played for the habs. and you're also right, carey price does exist sldkfjs and he's CONSTANTLY on my mind when i think about thierry and about the role of goalies in sports that have them - whenever there's a team sport that has One person who is uniquely different and has a radically different role (goalie, pitcher) compared to the rest of the team (whose roles are pretty similar even if they're first baseman, outfielder, midfielder, fullback) there's gonna be a Lot going on there. goalies have a reputation for being Really Fucking Weird. like. those guys are Odd and everyone knows it. (pitchers are the same way. known for superstitions, habits, Generally Being An Absolute Oddball.) they have a different kind of attention, a different kind of pressure. at the end of the day it always is going to come down to them on their own, in one way or another. goalie characters in sports fiction obsess me because of all the Baggage and all of the Stuff that goes into Being A Goalie and man. that was enough to make thierry really compelling to me, as the goalie we see the most of. and then specifically being a goalie From Montréal? ohohohohoho.

i watch football/soccer a lot these days and have for a couple years but i've been a hockey fan for much longer and i can't help see things through that pov sometimes, and as soon as they intro'd a character from mtl, my background as a habs fan perked right up. a goalie from mtl. that was the first hockey team i ever followed and boy does it have mountains of history that make it a fascinating team to follow/learn about/think about especially as a narrative background/parallel/foil/whatever.

obviously thierry's a soccer player, he's a soccer goalie, but in the words of someone i spoke to yesterday, "hockey suffocates every other sport in this country." it's always around, always present. your average torontonian can probably name the last year the leafs won the cup even if they hate sports. the canadian viewership numbers during playoffs is nuts. i've seen a few percentages come up - in the 70s-80s. i also have had some fun daydream thoughts about thierry being a multi-sport player growing up. there's a hockey player i can think of who pretty much got all the way to the point of draft eligibility before deciding whether he was gonna play hockey or baseball. that's a headcanon i have about thierry too, that he spent a while playing hockey when he was younger and was pretty damn good at it, probably could've gone pro, but decided to stick with soccer in the long term because he liked it more.

anyways, so. the sport is huge, it's unavoidable, and one of the biggest teams is the canadiens. especially if you live in mtl. it's hard to overstate the extent to which they are an institution, practically a religion. and one of the things that's important to understand about the context of thierry specifically rather than if like- if any other player had grown up in québéc, is that the habs have an...... intense history with goalies. like a VERY specifically intense history with goalies. they've had some of the biggest names in hockey goaltending history in their nets and the combination of the team's history, the goalies who've been there, and the media market of montréal means that being the habs goalie is one of the most heavily scrutinized, highly public roles in the sport.

the whole...... sports fabric of montréal is steeped in goalies. jaques plante, patrick roy, carey price. so many more enormous names, names everyone who's into hockey knows immediately, names that left permanent marks on not only the habs and mtl but on the sport as a whole. every year the league awards the best goalie of the regular season the vezina trophy, named for georges vézina, who played his entire career for the canadiens. (these days, the likes of sam montembeault. québéc born and raised goalie who now plays in the habs organization, heir apparent to carey price's net. monty, with goalie masks depicting jaques plante and the torch that is literally passed every year at the beginning of the habs season at their first home game, that is mentioned in the motto in their dressing room, inside the collars of their jerseys. it's a quote from a poem about the first world war - to you from falling hands we throw the torch be yours to hold it high.)

for thierry this would've been just.... all around him. when i think of him i think of him growing up in a habs watching household, because most families are in one way or another in that region, and having this idea of like. the role of a goalie. the pressure of being a goalie, watching particularly the way that carey price, one of the best goalies who's ever played, was completely wasted by the catastrophic mismanagement of the habs during his prime. i think all the time of this screencap from either the behind the scenes videos the habs produced for PR stuff or some feature on tv or documentary thing, a shot of carey price with his iconic thousand yard stare, the subtitles from the voiceover saying if he could score, he would play alone. i have to think that'd do something to a person, you know. seeing how important the goalie is, how revered and respected they can be, and that it can still not make a difference in the end. not enough of one. there will still be people who hate you because you're not the guy who came before you, because you can't just do it all yourself. and then choosing to be one anyway.

so you know. you're thierry zoreaux. you grow up in montréal. you can't avoid the habs if you tried, it's baked into the city. it's in the air. and you're a goalie. it doesn't matter whether you play hockey or soccer, the role of a goalie is a different thing, a unique experience. you are involved in everything, and you are alone. you are so, so visible, and so, so overlooked. you never appear on the goal sheets, but some media outlet will blame you for every loss. you're a little weird, a little wired. a little in your head, a little in another world. your teammates adore you but everyone knows there's something about you that's different, that sets you apart. every one of them sees it as their job to protect you, but at the end of the day, none of them can help you do what you do.

also, as an aside, i checked his wiki page real quick, and have learned the actor is jewish and sees his character that way too to which i say: ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. also i am about to write fic about this IMMEDIATELY. thierry zoreaux, quebecois goalie and jewish king. i've always been a little extra attached to him - minor character enjoyer that i am and enthralled by the potential in him, and also just finding him. very funny, and his actor a delight in his scenes. i love him and i need to write way more about him Right Now. it just occurred to me earlier, when i made that first post about him, and realized the line i'd jotted down wasn't half as good if you didn't have the story that exists around him in my mind, around his role and his experiences and cultural context about his role. and well! here we are now.

#gav gab #thierry zoreaux #gav answers #tagging him ig because this has been some longwinded meta thoughts i guess about his position and where he grew up and how yknow #that might inform him and his approach and what being a goalie Means to him #hockeyblogging #IN A SENSE? #ted lasso #just #you’re the goalie when your team gets relegated #you’re the goalie when they get promoted again #what does that Do To A Person

[wwtneosay-archived]

For You? pt.1

series masterlist lies here

The pairing is Mark x Y/n x Haechan but literally all of 127 is mentioned, I was feeling a little bit obnoxious… No Sungchan mailman feature tho, if you guys are good maybe he’ll make an appearance next time ;)

Synopsis: childhood bffs turned superstars, within their years of success the bond of friendship has never been broken, outings to let loose are vital in order to withstand the pressures of being a celebrity. What will happen when you unintentionally push your body’s limits on a night out?

Word Count: 11.5K

The story has got it all; love triangle, eventual smut like… yeah , fluff, angst, heavy dialogue can be expected, also its multi-pov! I feel the need to mention that this story does not pass the Bechdel test..Oops! Mark’s residing in simp city and Haechan is, well, himself… but maybe you like that mix? Read below the cut to find out!

Authors Note: My first ever series haha… Had a lot of fun writing this ngl, like fully cracking up at some parts… yeahhhh I kinda love build up so there’s definitely a bit of background before you get to the dirty stuff, what can i say? I like to paint a pretty picture. But seriously , let me know what you thought :)

Here’s a small excerpt to coax you into reading it lmao &lt;3 :

He retracts his head from the side of your body to take a look at your pretty face. The pleasure he gets from watching you snap out of his trance in real time scratches his ego in just the right spot, he tilts his head slightly as a cheeky grin envelopes his features, “You were so bold in the car, why are you acting so shy all of a sudden?”

You know, you wish you could say something, anything, to convince him his actions were not having an effect on you, but the alcohol has definitely dulled your wits. You go for the option that first comes to mind, playing it off… Yeah, that’ll do it..

Whatever is left of his spell wears off because you’re finally able to look him in the eyes again, “Oh please, I’m an entertainer! I had an audience to please”, you scoff, waving him off.

Yeah that should buy me enough time to build my defenses back up, you think.

You clearly miss the glint in his eyes before he leans into you once more,

“I’m your audience now, so how about you please me?”

*bzzt*

Markly [10:45]: yoo u got five minutes, we’re on our way now.

The boy’s always had a handful to deal with whenever promotion season came up, to be completely honest you tried your best to avoid them this time around, the prospect of possibly adding more stress onto them doesn’t sit right with you, instead you preferred to cheer them on from the sidelines, sending coffee trucks or meals whenever an important date came up. It was your personal way of being there, offering that little dose of encouragement that everyone requires.

Luckily for you, promos don’t last forever, in this case they had ended about a week ago, no more appearances or hours of grueling practice, your friends would finally be back in your grasp.

You’re happy for them, that no one could deny, but it still hurts keeping a distance from the people you cherish the most. God, good thing this ends tonight, you’d been needing to blow off some steam.

Your ears prick up at the sound of tires rubbing over the gravel, you quickly finish up any last moment touch ups and Mark's text serves as your final queue to make your way outside.

Markly [10:50]: outside :)

Man, you would've never thought that seeing a pair of silver vans outside your house would bring you so much joy. You briskly make your way to one of the tinted vehicles, the door automatically opens and you are greeted with roars of cheers, if you didn’t know any better you would’ve assumed their favorite sports team just scored a goal, you don't mind it at all, in fact, you think they could be louder. You echo their enthusiasm, taking in each of their smiling faces before shimmying into your seat, you appreciate that they always left the seat closest to the door empty for you, makes things a whole lot easier, you know?

Their chauffeur (manager lmao) makes sure that everyone’s buckled up before pulling out of your place.

Questions immediately begin to bounce off the walls of the small van, “hey how’ve you been!? I feel like I haven't seen you in a minute..” Mark ponders, a warm smile gracing his features.

Haechan quickly chimes in without missing a beat, “She always disappears during promotions, have you guys just noticed?”

The members look back at him all at once, their faces show that they’re calculating the math, then they turn to look at you. The sudden attention kind of catches you off guard, damn, busted..

Before anyone has a chance to question, you rely on your wits to help you change the subject , “Awww Haechan… I didn't know you kept tabs on me, do you really like me that much?”, a smug grin is plastered across your face. Yeah, this should do it..

You’ve never seen Haechan’s eyes widen like that, his lips pucker into a small “o” as his gaze remained fixed on you. The members waste no time to point out his expression, you let out a cackle as you soak in his flustered face.

He attempts to summon his composure, when that fails he rolls his eyes instead, scoffing at your seemingly ridiculous statement, “Pffft, in your dreams.”

You mentally applaud yourself for not being on the receiving end of Haechan’s playful taunts for once, you can't deny that your ego is soaring right now. So this is why he behaves the way he does..

You lower your eyes, glaring at him as the left side of your lips curl into a smile, “Yeah, ok, sure.. I’ll pretend to believe you..” He lets out a breathy, almost silent chuckle as his tongue pokes against his cheek, it seems as if he can’t bear to hold eye contact with you any longer because he turns to face the window.

Haechan, giving up? Huh…

This sudden dominance, or whatever it is you have over him is quite amusing to say the least…

You take his silent surrender as a queue to move on.

Laughter and jokes continue to resonate in the van as you all fill each other in on any random moments that have accumulated in the past couple of months, nothing is off limits. It's nice to hear their voices again, you always appreciated that no matter how long you spent time apart from them, you were able to pick things up like it was nothing, it’s one of the luxuries of having long standing childhood friends that you often relished in.

A couple of minutes of catching up go by, you begin to notice the familiar billboards so you take it upon yourself to ask if everyone’s ready for tonight, and their faces light up in response, Johnny is the first to speak, “Hell yeah man, it's been so long.”

He was right, they've been busy for a consecutive couple of months now, they deserve to let loose.

Your eyes scan the streets to gauge the liveliness of the night, before you know it you’ve finally made it to your destination, an exclusive club in Hongdae. Security and confidentiality was what made the place so appealing to celebrities. Here, they were able to fully experience their 20’s without having to worry about public scrutiny.

The car comes to a stop and a symphony of clicks are heard as the members move to open the doors. Their faces are quickly met with the brisk air slamming into their cheeks. As everyone makes their way out of the car you take your time to admire the way the tips of everyone’s noses have slightly pinkened thanks to the cold. You’re snapped out of it as you hear your name being called, you whip your head to the other van and see the rest of the members. You’re greeted by Taeil first, “Hey y/n! It’s been a while, huh? Glad you’re back.”, you immediately smile and reach out for a big hug, partially because you missed him and partially to get rid of the cold that was beginning to envelop your body.

Taeyong decides to skip out on these types of outings since he’s not much of a drinker, and Doyoung would much rather spend his time surrounded by peace and quiet, so naturally Johnny steps in as today’s leader. He gathers everyone just outside the doors of the van, making sure to get a headcount before you make your way into the club. You take your time to greet the members that had been in the other van, making sure to congratulate them on their steady success with the recent album and their stages.

Once Johnny makes sure everyone is accounted for, you all head towards the entrance. Today the club was bustling, you could tell by the amount of people drifting on the sidewalk, some crouching down puking, others having a smoke break, believe it or not, they all seem to be enjoying themselves.

As you approach the main entrance, the two bouncers share a look and immediately unhook the velvet ropes. Jungwoo laughs as one of the bulky men breaks his stoic expression, “Y/N?? I haven’t seen you all in a while!! Have a round on me, I'll let the bartender know, Have fun tonight, ok?” He says with a wink. The boys cheer as you lean closer to him to give your thanks “Heeey, thanks Manny I’ll have to make it up to you some other time!”. How cool of him...

You obviously weren’t going to take him up on his offer, I mean if it was one drink sure, but a round of shots for 8 people? That's pushing it honestly.. Instead, you make sure to let the bartender know to put whatever he got tonight on your tab, yeah that's fair, he’s always been so nice to you and the boys anyways, so why not?

—

As you make it past the main entrance you can immediately feel the bass reverberating off the walls. Once you all reach the end of the dimly lit hallway, you can feel the anticipation beginning to rise, Johnny turns around to take a look at all of you “Lady and Gentlemen, let the fun begin…” He says as he pushes open the thick steel door.

Colorful lights splash against every surface, no matter where you look, something seems to be going on. Your vantage point offers a view of the entire club. You’re greeted by a pool of bodies floating around the dance floor, you place your hands on the balcony rails as you soak in your surroundings. You feel a hand being set down on your own, your eyes scan the limb upwards to find that it’s Yuta, he doesn’t say anything but just raises his eyebrows and gives his signature smile, you mimic his expressions and begin to follow him as he leads you to the section, the rest of the boys followed suit.

They’re greeted with every step they take, “Congratulations!” and “Long time no see’s” are being spewed at them left and right. You slowly begin to loosen your grasp on Yuta’s hand as you notice the way people have immediately flocked to them. He gives you a light squeeze, nodding a small “no” to indicate refusal of your actions. You return the squeeze, leaning into his ear to try to overcome the thumping music, “It’s okay! I’ll go set up the drinks, meet us at the table when you’re done!!” He concedes, letting go of your hand watching you make your way through the crowd to your guys’ section. When he notices that Mark trails you he allows himself to take his eyes off of you.

You successfully make your way into the section, pleased to see that your request had been fulfilled, 8 shots were placed in a semi circle on the glass table, ready to be gulped down. You took the time to call beforehand to make sure the bar had all the members favorite liquor in stock, and they even took the time to prep them like this, huh, you can see why you guys keep coming back. There was no need for labels on the shot glasses, each member had their specific tastes so it was easy to differentiate them. Don Julio, Fireball, Jose Cuervo, Jack, Jameson, etc… Some were questionable to say the least, but hey, it’s what they like…

As you’re looking down at the table, you hear a sudden “BOO!” accompanied by fingers nudging into your shoulders. You know, after all these years you’d think Mark would’ve given up on his attempts to scare you but that doesn’t seem to be the case, he still tries his hardest even though he’s met with failure Every. Single. Time. But hey, that’s Mark’s charm.

Dang, you really missed his little antics.

You bring your hands to your heart, dramatically feigning your recovery from the so-called “scare”. Once he giggles at your reaction you offer him a snack, ones graciously provided by the club. He scans the small basket, it's like watching a kid raid their candy bag after a night out trick-or-treating. You notice the way his eyes glimmer as he identifies the watermelon sour patch kids, and you can’t help the smile that grows on your face.

He shoves a few in his mouth before he notices he didn’t offer you any so he extends his hand out, shaking the bag to signal you to get some. You place your palm out and he dumps a few into your hand. The small action momentarily fills you with nostalgia, they taste like the past, you mean that in the best way possible.

You two take the time to catch up while snacking on the candy, your brain absorbs every little detail that spills past his lips. Talking to someone is one thing, but talking to Mark has always been a breath of fresh air, you can't explain it, he gives every word such importance, you can't help but be captivated.

After minutes filled with laughter and him filling you in on his recent activities, you begin to feel a bit thirsty, so you ask if he’s down for a lil pregame shot while you two wait on the other members to make their ways to the section, he happily indulges you, moving towards the bar cart thats a few steps away, “Your favorite, right?”

He doesn’t waste time waiting for you to answer because he already knows what your response is gonna be. One of the things you had in common was your love for sweet liquor, because why would anyone willingly subject their throat to that burn..

A golden colored liquid makes its way into two empty shot glasses, its saccharine scent could be smelt from steps away. Once he fills the glasses, he hands one off to you, you decide on dedicating this first round to him, looking him in the eyes as you begin to speak, “To your hard work and efforts on the new album, just know that it never goes unnoticed, and please know that you can always count on me to be there for you whenever you need me to be, I'm proud of you dude.”

It's funny, he meets your eyes then dodges your gaze mid toast, it seems he found comfort in looking at the floor instead. You decide on not questioning it, his expression is one of content after all. You find it more amusing to tease him a bit (still living off the high from Haechan earlier..) “Oh my god don’t tell me you’re blushing right now”, you say in a sing-songy voice as your pointer finger nudges his shoulder. “Are you that touched?”, you gently bring your hands up on top of your heart to emphasize the sentiment…It only takes Mark a few seconds before he’s able to hold eye contact once again, shaking his head at you as his goofy smile makes its way onto his features. He decides to ignore your previous statements, raising his glass to simply state, “To us! I’m really glad you’re here, let's have fun tonight.” You nod, clicking your glasses before you two down the shot. You miss the way his gaze stays fixed on you, he can't hide a content smile as you close your eyes, sighing in content, relishing in the fact that you didn’t have to worry about any bitter aftertaste.

You’re both startled by a playful lilt coming from behind, “What are you two doiingg?”. A quick “Nothing!” leaves your lips in unison and when you both turn to face each other, you can't help but burst out into laughter. Johnny finds it amusing, the way you two act like a couple of teenagers who just got caught doing something they weren’t supposed to.

He makes his way to your side, “If you guys are going to pregame, at least serve me one too!”He pouts, but only for a second before he bares his teeth at you. That’s your queue to present the chrome salver that held the pre-poured shots so nicely.

Johnny doesn’t hesitate to pick up his drink, knowing instantly which one belonged to him. He quirks a brow at you as he eyes the shot glass, “Damn you really love us, huh?”

You tilt your head as you suck in a small breath “Nah, I wouldn’t say all that… Maybe just a little..”

The two boys chuckle at your response. Before Johnny has the chance to gulp down his drink he hears his name being called out in the sea of people. It's kind of amazing how he managed to locate the source of the call. He raises the glass up at you, quickly swallows it, and sets it down on the table before sparing you and Mark one last glance, “Don’t have too much fun without me, yeah?”, with a playful wink, he disappears within the crowd.

Eventually the rest of the members make it to the table, each downing their designated drinks, laughing, and socializing in and out of the section. After the 4th round of shots you begin to feel the effects of the alcohol setting in, nothing anyone wouldn’t be able to handle though, you make a mental note to hydrate before the next rounds just to stay on top of your toes.

—

The boys seem to be having fun, each in their own little worlds, you can't suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you take in their expressions. It's been so long since you’ve all had a night out together, you’re elated to see that everyone appears to be enjoying it. You take it upon yourself to mingle within the confines of the club, occasionally coming back to the section whenever anyone would order a round. It's becoming harder to keep tabs of how many shots you’ve taken, so after a certain point you decide to stop keeping track.

—

The alcohol has fully made its way into your bloodstream, the realization hits when you’re stumbling into the women’s bathroom struggling to lock the stall door. Damn when did these things get so difficult? Eventually you manage to shut it before continuing to handle your business. Luckily, unlocking the stall door is a much easier task.

You make your way to the sink because you’ll be damned if you become one of those girlies who don't wash their hands after using it, even though you’re tipsy your sense of hygiene is still intact.

The suds begin to envelop your hands, you sway a bit to the music before deciding an appropriate amount of time was spent lathering your hands. After you finish rinsing the last of the soap off, you take a quick glance in the mirror, taking the time to fix any stray hairs. You blow yourself a kiss before heading out.

You decide to settle on the dance floor, the music is directing your movements at this point. You look around the crowd to see if any of the members are near you, you make eye contact with a few that are, waving at them as you grin ear to ear. You have yet to spot the youngests of the group though, so you look in the next logical place, your beloved section.

That’s where you spot them, Jungwoo, Haechan, and Mark, each with a glass in their hand. You motion towards them in an attempt to get their attention, the crowd was looking a bit sparse, you figured more people wouldn’t hurt.

Jungwoo is the first to notice you and he lifts his glass in return. Unfortunately his simple acknowledgment wasn’t enough for you right now, so what’s the next best thing? Ah yeah… genius, you think.

You mimicked throwing a lasso in his direction, because if anyone were to go along with the bit, it was gonna be Jungwoo.

You begin to tug on the imaginary lasso and he lifts up, adding the exaggerated theatrics you sought out. At first Mark and Haechan look at him confused, but as you continue pulling, they connect the dots.

Jungwoo has made his way to your side, and you two let the music carry you. You spare the sitting younger boys a glance and motion for them to join you, Haechan shares a look with Mark, the left side of his lips tilt into a smile, “Should we join her or what?”. Mark keeps his eyes glued to you as he answers him, “I’m good watching, you should go though, have fun.”.

Haechan shrugs him off and sets his glass down, “Yeah, I’m planning on it…”. Mark is a couple shots in himself so doesn’t really pay Haechan’s statement any mind.

You notice Haechan get up but instead of coming towards you, he waltzes over to the DJ booth.

Booooo, if anyone would be down to dance it’d be Haechan? Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood tonight…

You peel your eyes off of him and decide to see if you can maybe persuade Mark once more, when the lasso trick fails, a gloomy expression resides on your face, you pantomime wiping the non-existent tears from your eyes. He laughs it off, and although he’s well out of earshot, you could’ve sworn you heard his laughter from across the floor, you can't help but giggle in response. Once you see that your efforts are fruitless, you decide to redirect your attention to Jungwoo. He takes your hand and twirls you around a couple of times, he might’ve snorted a bit when you stumble after the third spin.

When you pause to recover from the dizziness you see Haechan sauntering towards you two, an excited smile makes its way to your features.

“Couldn’t resist the fun, could you?” You beam up at him.

“How could I ever?”, he throws you a mischievous grin but you’re a bit too far gone to even notice.

As you envelop him in a hug the lights of the club suddenly begin to dim, turning a deep red. You look around you to see if it was just part of your imagination, but the roars in response to the shift in mood are what make you realize you’re not dreaming.

The mid tempo song that now echoed throughout the club called for slow movements, the groovy baseline paired with the ambiance set in place by club directors clearly portrayed their intentions for this particular moment. All at once, people make their way to the dance floor. In the rapid movement, Jungwoo had been swallowed into another section of the floor, so that left you and Haechan alone. Your eyes widen as sweaty bodies continue to force you two closer and closer by the second. Haechan doesn’t seem to mind so you decide you wouldn’t either.

The fact that you were still locked in the hug from earlier gave Haechan easy access to your body. His left hand reached for your face, his touches were feathery as he caressed your cheek, he chuckles a bit when you lean into his hand. Hmm how responsive…

Your response to his touch only encourages him to keep going. He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear before he lets his fingers glide along your jawline, they find refuge beneath your chin, resting there a bit before he decides to tilt your head upwards, allowing his eyes to come into contact with yours.

Low eyes study your features as a conceited smile creeps onto his face, you could’ve sworn you felt his irises searing into your flesh. He maintains steady eye contact before shifting his attention down to your lips, the quietest snicker leaves him as he inches closer towards your face, you can only flutter your eyes shut in response. Your senses prick up when you feel his plump lips graze against your ear, he lets out a small exhale before dropping his voice a couple octaves to whisper,

“You should probably close your mouth.”

You knew you had been a bit far gone but damn… How long had it been open?

He retracts his head from the side of your body to take a look at your pretty face. The pleasure he gets from watching you snap out of his trance in real time scratches his ego in just the right spot, he tilts his head slightly as a cheeky grin envelopes his features, “You were so bold in the car, why are you acting so shy all of a sudden?”

You know, you wish you could say something, anything, to convince him his actions were not having an effect on you, but the alcohol has definitely dulled your wits. You go for the option that first comes to mind, playing it off… Yeah that should work..

Whatever is left of his spell wears off because you’re finally able to look him in the eyes again, “Oh please, I’m an entertainer! I had an audience to please,” you scoff, waving him off.

Yeah that should buy me enough time to build my defenses back up, you think.

You clearly miss the glint in his eyes before he leans into you once more,

“I’m your audience now, so how about you please me?”

Hmm, that definitely sobered you up a bit…

You feel a small fire light up in your stomach, but you’ll be damned if you let him win again, he’s already gotten to you once tonight and that was enough for your taste, so you decide to stand your ground, lifting an index finger to his face, “ONE dance, since you want it so bad.” Ha, now it was his turn to scoff.

You turn around so your back faces him, the fact that he wouldn’t be able to get a read on your face was the main reason for this action, but you’re not going to complain about how close it brought you two.

The movements were set by Haechan, slow and drawn out to match the tempo of the song resounding throughout the club. He doesn’t waste time letting his curious hands roam your body. Each gentle drag across your exposed skin only stokes the flame that sits at the pit of your stomach, with each second that passes you begin to feel what once was a small pile of embers grow into a blistering heat.

Sweaty bodies surrounded your perimeter so unsolicited contact wasn’t unexpected, but Haechan’s grazes were different. You could’ve sworn he was riddling your skin with scorch marks, your eyes followed his fingers each time they came in contact with you just to make sure you were indeed imagining it.

At this point your ass was flush against his pelvis, the heat radiating off of him was beginning to become unbearable. You may have pushed deeper into him as he controlled your movements, not that he was complaining, his grip on your waist becoming tighter was quite the indicator. The song is beginning to reach its final couple of seconds, with that, your shared movements naturally begin to die down.

Before fully disconnecting from each other Haechan takes the opportunity to snake his hand upwards to the nape of your neck, he decides to continue a bit more into your scalp, taking a fistful of your hair, delicately tugging at the strands to turn your head to face him, your glossy eyes make contact with his.

God, did you always look like that, or was this expression only something you’ve shared with me?, he thought to himself.

The red lights compliment his features, if it were up to you, you’d look up at him until your neck cramped up, but you’ve unconsciously relinquished any authority over your body at the moment.

He chuckles at you before gently tilting your head to the side a bit, granting him access to your neck. The way you openly let him control your movements had his head spinning,

“What else would you be willing to let me do to you?”

His lips nip at your collarbone, traveling upwards, making sure to graze your jugular, because if you weren’t going to comment on how you were feeling, your body would do it for you.

A small huff is all you feel against your skin after he confirms his effects on you, but your senses are far too overstimulated for you to even realize he’s caught onto you. The journey of exploring your neck concludes when he comes to a halt at the shell of your ear, his lips graze it ever so slightly before he opens his mouth,

“Consider me fully pleased.”, his gravelly voice resonates in your eardrums.

He places what could possibly be one of the most delicate kisses onto your neck, before releasing his grip on your hair. You slowly turn to fully face him now, almost as if your body is just now processing all that it’s experienced in the past couple of minutes. His eyes don't focus on yours immediately, instead he concentrates on smoothing your hair back to its original state.

Before the final seconds of the instrumental fades into nothing his hand extends towards yours, pupils finally meeting your own. He simply brings your hand up to his lips, placing a small kiss on it, not once even daring to break eye contact. And with that, the song seals the moment you’ve shared perfectly. As the crowd woos the Dj’s choice in music taste, Haechan gives you a genuine smile paired with a wink before he makes his way back to your shared section.

You’re left completely bewildered, motionless in the crowd as you maintain focus on the back of his head. It takes Jungwoo rushing into your side for your senses to slowly make their return. “Wow that was amazing, did you see all the pretty lights?”, he asks with actual genuine curiosity. He decides to wave his hand in front of your face after not getting a response, “Helloo?”.

You feel your feet beginning to plant themselves back onto earth, that’s when you’re able to coherently form a sentence again. You beam upwards towards him, “It was mind blowing Jungwoo…”. He lets out a cackle before engulfing your entire upper body in the tightest hug, nuzzling his sweaty forehead against yours, “Haha, how cute, let's get something to drink, yeah?”, I mean, you've known Jungwoo for years now but it still amazes you how much he was into skinship, even in these conditions. Before you can answer he’s already tugging you towards your shared section. With your free hand you wipe away the sheen of perspiration that had built up on your forehead while dancing with Haechan.

The two of you finally arrive at your designated space. You see Johnny and Jaehyun have taken the liberty of inviting a few girls over, these two were like magnets, everywhere they went people just seemed to flock towards them, it was a sight to see truly, but you had more important things to focus on, your feet were begging for a break so you scan the section to find the next available seating. You spot a little booth off to the side, Mark and Yuta are already sitting there, perfect, you were in need of some familiarity after all you had gone through in the last 5 minutes.

You make a beeline to the booth and greet the boys, while Yuta immediately returns your smile, Mark doesn’t even bother to look in your direction, eyes deciding to focus anywhere but where you are standing. Hmmm, that's strange.. maybe he just wasn’t feeling the club anymore? He seemed fine a couple minutes ago? Maybe he just didn’t hear me? But that’s impossible because Yuta—

Your internal dialogue is cut off by Yuta signaling you to sit next to him, you plop beside him, “Having fun tonight?”, he asks. Phew, that's one way to put it. You resort to gestures to provide him with an answer, offering a mellowed out thumbs up. He chuckles as his hand reaches up to ruffle your hair.

“What about you?”, you ask, genuinely curious about what he’d say. Before he’s able to give you an answer he hears his name being called. Without a second thought you raise yourself up, urging him to see what’s up with his friend, he apologizes before leaving, “I promise to answer you when I get back!”He flashes a smile before tailing his friend, leaving you and Mark at the booth.

You position yourself in front of Mark, he wouldn’t be able to ignore what was right in front of him… right? You prop your elbows onto the table, “So how about you, mark?”, not even a second goes by before he answers you, “Never been better.” His voice was monotonous, devoid of any emotion, and he still has yet to spare you a single glance. Something’s definitely wrong, it's clear as day now. You knew Mark could be a bit hot headed sometimes, but it's never been anything like this?

You quickly scan your memories of what’s happened tonight to see if you could’ve said something to tick him off, but to your recollection, everything with him was going great up until now? Whatever it was you weren’t in the mood to handle his passive aggressiveness, not when everyone’s supposed to be having a good time. So you immediately cut to the chase, the alcohol in your system unconsciously dissolving any sort of brain to mouth filter you’d usually uphold, “Sooo, are you gonna act like a child, or are you going to use your words and say what’s wrong?”

His eyes finally look into yours, but the feeling is different. He’s never looked at you like this before and it’s driving you mad that you can’t pinpoint why.

A bitter expression dawns his features, he takes a combative tone. “I’m fine, and you seem to be having a blast too, so what exactly is the problem?”

Your brows knit together, still unsure of where all this hostility is coming from, and why the hell it's even being directed at you. You immediately become defensive, “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Why are you acting like this? Did I say something to make you upset?”, your sentences were laced with exasperation.

Mark opens his mouth to speak but before words are able to leave his lips, he’s interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Everything alright over here?”Haechan questions, he doesn’t ask for permission before he settles next to you in the booth. He offers you a smile before his eyes land on Mark, “Hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

Mark scoffs, “I was just leaving.”

He gives Haechan a once over before he plants his palms on the table to force himself up, storming off into the crowd.

Your eyes follow Mark's figure as it makes its way to the club’s exit. When you lose him in the sea of people, you redirect towards Haechan, “What’s up with him?”, you sigh before you prop an elbow on the table, letting your face rest in your palm, “Dude I wish I knew...”

The last thing Mark sees before exiting the club is Haechan’s hand placed on your back, rubbing small circles into your flesh. He mentally curses at himself for even deciding to look back at you.

—

Mark successfully makes it out of the club, the cool wind that smacks him in the face causes him to lose his balance momentarily, after a few steps he eventually decides to settle on an empty part of the curb.

His eyes close as he pushes out a deep sigh, nimble fingers fumble in his pockets to find the vape Johnny asked him to hold onto before they left the dorms. He oggles the small contraption with curiosity before bringing it up to his mouth. I’m pretty sure this is how Johnny does it…

He takes in a long drag and before he knows it, his lungs reach their limit, now I just let it sit there right…? He attempts to hold in the smoke but his lungs aren't having it. He enters a coughing fit, small clouds of smoke leave his pinched lips with each puffed exhale, he comes to the realization that it may be better to stop resisting it, so he lets out all the smoke in one blow. Great. Now he was pissed off and his throat stings, wonderful.

As he brings his hands up to his throat in an attempt to soothe himself, he can’t help but replay what happened earlier. Why would he shamelessly caress you like that for the world to see? Seeing you pressed up against Haechan only filled him with rage, which only increased by tenfold when the little shit was daring enough to hold eye contact with him, knowing the way his actions were affecting him. He’d pull you in closer each second Mark observed you two, sending him a wink when your body was flush against his.

Each time his hands laid themselves on your body he couldn’t help but wonder; Were you actually enjoying the way he was touching you, is that what you liked? How would you react if it was his hands on you instead? Would you be just as welcoming, maybe even a bit more?

Envy coursed through his entire being each time you two closed the gap between each other, what was he saying into your ear so sweetly that made you look at him like that? Did you have a thing for him?—

Mark shakes away the image of you two, finally letting an ounce of rationality seep into his system. He stares blankly ahead as he lets out a low groan. It finally hits him just how immaturely he handled the situation, I mean, you never belonged to him? You were well within your right to dance with whoever you wanted. How were you supposed to know how he felt? It's not like he’s ever told you anything?

His face finds refuge in his palms as he exhales. After sitting with his thoughts for a couple of minutes, he reaches into his pocket for his phone. He fumbles with it a bit before getting it right-side up. The bright screen lights up to reveal a picture Doyoung had taken of the both of you. Even drunk he’s able to recall what the two of you were doing, and the exact words that left his mouth, making you laugh the way you did. He smiles at the screen for a few seconds before paying attention to the time; 2:08AM. Dang it's pretty late… He determines that his night has come to an end, the thought of having to look Haechan in the face leaves a sour taste in his mouth, and he doesn’t want to put a damper on anyone’s (your) night more than he possibly has already.

With a few clicks he reaches his managers contact page,

Mark [2:10] : hey, yoiclose ??

Manager hyung [2:11] : Gonna be honest I didn’t expect you to be done so early, I’ll come to the front, we can meet there.

Mark [2:13] : csn we stip for food. ?

[read]

Mark slumps against his manager as he raises himself up, “Ah hyung, you always take care of me, thank you.” His words are slurred but his manager understands the sentiment. He helps Mark stumble his way to the car, making sure he’s buckled up before slipping into the driver's seat.

They’re a couple stops away from Mark’s favorite noodle shop before he asks him “What dish are you feeling tonight?”. When he doesn’t receive a response he adjusts his rear-view mirror to get a look at Mark, who has drifted into what seems like a peaceful sleep. He chuckles a bit at the boy’s figure, luckily the redirection wouldn’t take long, the place was near the dorms after all.

—

Pain. Throbbing pain settled on the left side of your head. That’s all you feel as you find the courage to open your eyes. You’re dazzled by the sunshine bouncing off the walls of the room, so you immediately pinch them shut. You know you’re at the dorms, the question is, who's?

Since sight is faltering at the moment, you decide to rely on your other senses for an answer. A small hum of a computer fan is what registers first, and you can only assume you’re in one of three rooms. It becomes clearer where you reside after taking in a deep breath, a familiar citrusy scent makes its way to your nostrils. Yup, this is Haechan’s room.

After what seems like a few minutes, you gradually begin to open up your eyes, allowing them to expand from a squint until they’re fully open. You slowly bring yourself up so that your back rests against the headboard. The shared room is pretty neat, it looks like they’ve got an air purifier running, oh so it wasn’t a computer...

Your eyes look over to scan Johnny’s bed and see that besides a small ruffle on the edge, it's fully made. He must’ve slept in the living room or something… hmm, that's pretty strange, he's never minded sleeping in the presence of others, much less you. Damn, could it be possible that he didn’t even make it upstairs?—

Your thoughts are interrupted by Doyoung’s muffled voice that can be heard through the walls. “Set up the table and go wake her up, she should eat something.”. A small groan is all you hear in response, followed by metal utensils clattering as someone springs a drawer open.

A small smile registers onto your face at the command. As you let out a deep breath your eyes peer down to the small bedside table, it holds a neatly setup cup of water and 2 extra strength Tylenols. When your hand reaches towards the cup you notice it has a sticky note on it, “please enjoy deliciously ;)” the little sun drawn on the corner lets you know this was Haechan’s doing. You let out a laugh but immediately stop, as it causes your head to pulse even harder.

Once you take the two pills you bring your body to the edge of the bed, slowly encouraging your brain to allow you to stand on your two feet. Your legs hover a bit before coming into contact with the floor and before you know it you’re standing, completely still but hey, you’re up.

You’re mid-stretch as you hear heavy footsteps making their way towards the room, and suddenly Haechan bursts through the door. You wince at the sound of the door slamming back into the wall. “My god, do you have to be that lou—“, you’re cut off by arms wrapping around you, flinging you onto the mattress. Haechan lands on top of you, legs cradling your sides. He soaks in your fatigued state, bringing a hand to your face to gently stroke your cheek, “All tired out from last night, huh?”

WHAT?!

Your heart stops. You’re unable to produce a sentence as you attempt to recall last night's events, only to be met with splotchy blurbs of memories instead of full stories.

Haechan notices the panic in your face, and to be completely frank he revels in it a bit before revealing the truth to you. “I’ll save you the hassle, we didn’t sleep together.”

Relief washes over your features, and you shut your eyes, “Oh thank go—“

Once again you’re cut off, sleep still coats Haechan’s voice as he leans into your ear, “Although I will say, it was very hard to turn down your begging, you looked so pretty when you were—”, You pinch the underside of his arm to get him to shut up, and you’re glad it works, you shove him off of you, bringing yourself to stand up. He writhes around on the bed, exaggerating his pain, letting out dramatically loud wails. Seeing him like that made you almost forget how shit you were feeling, almost…

“Ok, alright, relax you little princess.”, you murmur.

He immediately freezes to make eye contact with you, “You think I’m pretty enough to be a princess?”

An amused scoff is all you can let out before deciding to change the subject, “If we didn’t sleep together, where did you sleep?”

His brows furrow at first, but he soon realizes what you mean, “Oh no— we slept together, we just didn’t sleep together, you know?”

Me and Haechan… In the same bed?

He can see the gears turning in your head at this newfound information, you fail to register the glint in his eyes before he continues, “ So you're telling me that you don't remember clinging to me all night, whining nonstop to get me to hug you back?”

You pinch your eyes shut, both hands instinctively make their way to your temple, lightly massaging the throbbing flesh.

“Of course I caved, I’ve never seen you act like that, plus Doyoung was getting sick of your noises, he came to check on us because you were that loud.”

Great, not only had you embarrassed yourself in front of Haechan but out of all the members on the 5th floor, DOYOUNG was the one to witness it? What kind of sick joke was this?

Your mortification is cut short by a knock on the door, you turn your head to see Johnny’s rangy frame leaning against the door. He eyes you up and down before his attention darts to Haechan then back to you, he does this twice and his face is awfully smug prior to opening his mouth, “Come on, you two dont want to make mom mad.” His voice is still gruff and you find pleasure that, by the looks of it, you weren’t the only one that had a rough night. As he pulls the knob to shut the door, he gives you one last grin, then he’s off with a shake of his head.

You slowly turn to focus your attention back to Haechan, pointing your thumb towards the door, “What was that all about?”

He feigns an unknowing shrug as a smile paints across his face, “Idk let's go eat, you already pissed off Doyoung earlier, don't wanna make it worse for yourself.”

As you mentally seek the courage to be able to look Doyoung in the eyes, Haechan climbs out of his bed and drapes an arm around your shoulder, leading you both to their shared kitchen.

—

When you step foot into the kitchen you’re greeted with groans and a couple of surveying looks instead of actual hellos. What could they possibly be looking at, this isn’t the first time they've seen me hungover? You decide to ignore their prying eyes, too tired to question their behavior.

So far, it's only the members of the 5th floor that reside in the kitchen, but you know it won’t be long until the rest of them make their way downstairs.

Doyoung’s parked in front of the stove. He always makes food for everyone after a night out, it's basically routine at this point. You know, even though he nags throughout the entire cooking process, you always notice the way he tries to hide his smile when he sees everyone digging in. You'll always be grateful that you have the privilege of calling him your friend, his presence is absolutely vital.

The only semblance of liveliness can be felt radiating off of Taeyong. You’re fascinated, staring at him with admiration as you watch him prep the plates of food, making sure to garnish each dish till he's satisfied with their presentation.

You decide to settle next to Johnny who leans his head on your shoulder when you’ve fully sat down. Bringing a hand to his head, you begin stroking his hair, “Have fun, at least?”, you ask, voice still a bit groggy.

“Of course… Not as much as you tho,” he says in between chuckles.

You freeze when the rest of the members chortle in unison to show that they second his statement.

I couldn’t have been that bad right? … Right…?

Hmmm maybe it's better to address the situation before continuing on…

You lift yourself up from your seat, gathering the attention of everyone in the room, making sure to meet eyes with each and everyone of them, “I’m gonna be completely honest, I don’t remember everything that happened, but I’m really sorry for whatever I might’ve done yesterday, and Doyoung, I apologize if I might’ve bothered you last night, that wasn’t my intention...”

The silence that filled the room was deafening, all that could be heard was the sizzling of whatever Doyoung was frying on the stove. Guilt washes over your entire being, gaze instinctively dropping to the table. Damn, what the fuck did I do?

Suddenly, a roaring laughter erupts, it's enough to startle you out of your remorseful state. Your head Immediately shoots up when Doyoung is the first to speak, “Why are you the one apologizing, Haechan was the one I could hear the most?”. A flurry of agreements echo within the room.

Your eyes widen at the sudden revelation of truth, they seek out Haechan who immediately feels the daggers you’re shooting at him. Punk ass liar…

Phew, I mean, at least now you know you weren’t the one being a complete nuisance. Still, this leaves a lot of questions unanswered, and it's becoming a bit tiresome to try to mentally fill in the blanks, so you settle on asking what happened instead.

“We had a blast at the club, but the real fun began when we came home.” Johnny grins, he notices the way your eyes are pleading him to continue, so he does,

“You couldn’t make it up the stairs so I had to carry you, but honestly listening to you going off on Mark was personally the highlight of my night,” Contemplation riddles his features before he resumes, “You know what, scratch that, it was actually when you threw up on yourself… and Haechan.” He cackles as he recalls your actions, meanwhile you can only duck your head and inhale a sharp breath in response.

The boys laugh as they replay the memory, you giggle a bit yourself as you bring your head up to look at Haechan, “…I may not be able to recall everything that happened last night, but I really feel that deep, deep down… you might’ve deserved that.”, you beam at him from across the table.

He raises his pitch a bit in an attempt to mimic your voice “ Wehh, i think you deserved it meh bleh blah— I can't believe this is how you treat someone who literally took care of you all night..”

Johnny interjects before you’re able to counter, “Hmmm I wouldn’t necessarily say that. I mean yeah, you did clean her up and all but you literally wouldn’t let her out of your grasp after that, I had to sleep in the living room because you were being so obnoxious.”

Leave it to Johnny to spare the bullshit lol, it's part of his charm that you often commend.

Doyoung relishes in the fact that he finally got an answer to his unvoiced question, “Oh so that’s why you’re wearing his clothes.”

……huh?

A stream of “Ahhh’s” and nods of realization follow Doyoung’s statement.

You look down to see Haechan’s garments covering your body, top to bottom.

You're at a loss for words at first, then your eyes widen at the sound of alarms going off in your head, “YOU STRIPPED ME?!?”

All heads turn to Haechan, who remains unphased at the sudden attention, “I mean yeah, I wasn’t going to let you sleep on my bed after you puked all over us? Would you have preferred if I left you sitting in your pile of vomit?”

The gazes shift in your direction now. Damnit, you hate it when he made sense… Silence fills the room, but it's quickly shortened,

“Your panties were super cute by the way, I always did love Wall-e.”

The members attempt to stifle their laughter, but they inevitably fail, quite miserably in fact…

A deep warmth rushes to your face, you fight through your embarrassment though, forcing yourself to meet Haechan’s observant eyes, “Yeah I’m gonna need you to erase that image of me from your memory, IMMEDIATELY..”

“Sorry, already seared into my memory. I might need it for when i get a littl—“

“OHKAYYY, food’s ready!! Who’s hungry?” Taeyong jumps in to save you from further embarrassment, he sets a couple of bowls on the table before sitting himself down.

Haechan snickers at you before shoving a spoonful of rice in his mouth, he makes a conscious effort to chew extra loudly before blowing you a kiss.

“Gross.”, You sneer.

“You know you love it.”

You roll your eyes as you bring a spoonful of warm broth near your mouth, you let the smell fill your nostrils before digging in. Damn, Doyoung’s meals really never miss.

You can feel your stomach unknotting with each spoonful you take in. A comfortable silence fills the kitchen as you all savor the food, the cacophony of quiet slurps and metal brushing against porcelain dies down slightly when you hear the front door opening.

Yuta and Taeil are the first to make their appearance, compared to the rest of the group, they seem to be walking on water. Congratulations, sooo happy for them... They greet everyone with warm smiles before taking whatever seats are left at the table. Doyoung had already set up bowls for everyone, so all there was left to do was dig in.

As Taeil swallows his first bite of food his eyes land on your figure, he notices your attire and it strikes a thought, “Hey, Haechan has a shirt just like that!”

“It’s his.”

The way everyone in the room felt the need to respond to his observation in unison has you choking on a spoonful of rice.

Taeil and Yuta look at you wide eyed, before their attention shifts to Haechan, who does nothing but wiggle his eyebrows at them.

Yuta turns to look at you once more with what seems like a concerned look etched across his features, “ Wait… So you two.. Slept together?”

You enter a coughing fit at this point.

Johnny offers you a glass of water along with a pat on the back, once your breaths are under control you clear your throat to give Yuta an answer, “Absolutely not. I may or may not have thrown up on myself.. And Haechan… Point is, I ruined my clothes so that's why I’m wearing this..”

Taeil just chuckles as he plays out the image in his head, but your ears are able to pick up the soft sigh of relief that leaves Yuta’s lips, and to be honest you’re not entirely sure why that's his immediate response.

You swallow a gulp of water and attempt to steer the conversation in another direction, “Enough of me though, how was yesterday for you guys?”

The two boys continue on to discuss the highlights of their nights, you’re glad they were able to enjoy themselves and come out of it looking the way they did, they genuinely looked like they had a blast.

As Yuta gives a reenactment of one of his stories he mentions Mark. You politely let him finish before letting your curiosity get the best of you, “Hey so what happened to him last night, did he get home safe— Is he up yet?”. Haechan’s eyes peek up at your displayed interest in Mark’s night, as Yuta parts his lips to reply, he’s quickly cut off, “ Why do you even care, he didn’t even have the decency to say bye to us before bailing last night.”

All eyes are on Haechan now, and that's when he realizes that he verbalized his thoughts instead of keeping them contained.

Johnny shoots him a questioning look, “Woah woah woah, what's with all the hostility all of a sudden?”

He’s stunned, but only for a split second before he formulates a response, “No hostility, just stating what happened.” He drops his spoon in his empty bowl before lifting himself from the table.

Your eyes trail him as he places his dish in the sink and trampes off to his room, all without sparing anyone a single glance.

What the fuck was that?

You raise an eyebrow at his behavior, “ Alright… You were saying Yuta?”

“Oh yeah, He’s asleep for now, Jungwoo promised to wait for him so they can come down together.”

“Perfect!” You immediately raise up off your seat, discarding your used dishes into the dishwasher before briskly making your way to the door.

As you squat down towards the floor to slip on a pair of shoes Taeyong shouts, “Where are you going!?” You peek your head into the kitchen, breath a little short when you reply, “He seemed angry about something yesterday, so I was gonna stop by our favorite spot and get us something so we could talk about it. It's past 9 so it should be open by now, do you guys want anything?” The members shout out a couple of menu items and you make sure to jot them down on a piece of paper so you’ll be set for when you call in the order.

As you slide on some sandals, Johnny makes his way to the door, “Want me to come with?.” You flash him a smile, “It’ll be right back, it shouldn’t take me more than 20 minutes bc it’s a pickup.”

He throws his hands up in the air in a false defeat, “Okie dokie, walk safely then, If you need anything text me, we’ll be here.”

“Bet”, You wave a goodbye at him as you sprint down the hall.

—

As you arrive at the shop you can see your order sitting on the counter off to the side. When you get ready to make your payment you notice a dessert tray sitting behind the glass window to your left. The pretty white plate holds about six bear shaped cookies, how cute. Hmmmm… Since Haechan didn’t come out to request anything you figured you’d take him some, I mean, you never did thank him for taking care of you after all …

“Hey! I knew it was you, there were a couple extra meals than usual, having some friends over for breakfast?”

The owner is an older woman, she’s taken a liking to you and Mark, every time you two visit she offers something on the house. You always accept it of course so as to not come off as ungrateful, always leaving a sizable tip in return because damn this woman can COOK, you can taste the love she puts into her meals, truly. You silently ponder if this is how Doyoung’s cooking will evolve…

You explain to her how you’ve spent the night with friends and just wanted to provide a meal in return. She smiles wide at your explanation, “They’re very lucky to have you.” The comment has you blushing a bit, she giggles at your slightly flustered figure.

“Would this be all for you then, dear?”

“Oh, and can I also get two of the bear cookies please?”

“Yes of course!”

She packs the cookies in a small brown bag and hands it off to you before continuing to process your payment.

When you grab the order off the table she walks towards the door to hold it open for you, as you approach the threshold, you thank her and she gives one last remark before you make your way back to the dorms, “Make sure to bring your boyfriend next time, he’s a keeper that Mark.”

“Mark?”

She places her hands over her mouth before speaking again, “Oh my, don't tell me you two broke up? It wasn’t my intention to bring up any bad memories.”

You chuckle at her worried expression, “Oh no don’t worry, it's nothing like that. Mark and I are just friends, that's all.”

“…Just Friends?” She looks at you as if you had broken out in foreign language.

There’s a small silence before she speaks again, “Are you sure we're talking about the same person, I mean the scrawny one who wears the round glasses. The one you always come in with!” Yup that's Mark alright..

You let out a genuine laugh, one where if anyone were walking by they'd think you just heard the joke of the century.

She just looks at you in amusement as you attempt to regulate your breathing. Once you’re able to catch your breath you give her one last thank you for the meal and head back in the direction of the dorms.

Me and Mark? That’s a new one, you smile to yourself.

She stays at the door observing your walking figure, she titters a bit as she shakes her head, speaking aloud to herself, “Pfft, she can lie to herself all she wants, I see the way they look at each other.”

—

You return to the 5th floor to deliver the orders, as you step in you celebrate slightly when you notice Jungwoo and Mark still haven’t made it down yet. Echoes of thank yous can be heard as you pass them their food, they look at the meals starry-eyed like they didn’t just eat less than half an hour ago lmao.

Once you ensure everyone’s gotten their food, a quick “You’re welcome!” leaves your lips as you practically glide towards Haechan’s room.

You don't bother knocking, that would take too much time.

He jolts on the bed at your sudden intrusion but he doesn’t bother taking his eyes off of his phone, “What’s this?”

“FOR YOU!!!!!” You yell, crashing next to him on the bed.

He’s still failing to acknowledge your presence, so you decide to get closer, batting your eyes as you shove your face between his eyes and this phone screen. When he breaks out into laughter you explain to him,

“You seemed off earlier plus I mean… I never said thanks, you did take care of me last night.. So like, two birds, you know?”

As he pulls out the cookies, he attempts to hide his enthusiasm, but you’re able to see right through him, “Bears, how original.”

“Oh please, you love it”

“Only a small amount…” He flashes you a smile, the kind that makes its way to his eyes.

After he takes a bite, he brings the cookie up to your mouth, motioning for you to take a bite yourself. When you lean in closer, you open your mouth to welcome the cookie, only for him to shove it up your nose.

You quickly expel the crumbs from your nostril, guffawing at his action, but if you were being honest you kind of wanted to taste it, so you squeeze his arm to hold it still. Even though you tremble a bit to keep it steady, you do manage to get a bite and wow, as expected, the owner has yet to disappoint…

“Hmmm so good~”

He chuckles at your satisfied face, “I know, where did you get it from?”

“Its this one spot Mark and I are always going to, this lady, Haechan, she makes the be—“

He cuts your sentence short, a hint of annoyance laced his words, “Oh yeah, Mark never shuts up about it.”

“I should take you, it's super close! We can go after your schedules one day if you want?”

He pictures it in his head, you, in that one dress he likes, sitting to grab a bite to eat, getting to listen to you go on about whatever interests you in that moment…

He’s looking off into the distance completely silent so you backtrack a bit, “Or not, no pressure…”

When he snaps out of his daydream he looks into your eyes, his face is unreadable and it’s throwing you off. You shift side to side on his bed, fidgeting with the hem of his tee that drapes your body.

He only blinks at you twice before leaning into you, softly placing his hands on each side of your cheeks, his eyes dart back and forth between yours then down to your lips, almost as if he was searching for any sign of resistance on your end. When he finds none, he brings his thumb up to your lips, gently running the digit against them. You let out a soft sigh of relief at the contact, as if the greatest weight had just been lifted off your shoulders, and when your eyes flutter shut he takes it as his queue to close the little remaining distance between you, pressing his plump lips against your own.

A spark of electricity travels through up your spine, causing your brain to momentarily short circuit. Fried neurons send the signal to tilt your head, deepening the kiss. Your lips part slightly to allow him to slip his tongue into your mouth. When his wet muscle comes into contact with your own, you can't help but wonder how it would feel gliding across your body.

Your heart is slamming against your chest as each second goes by and you’re curious if he can hear it. You realize that your brain can't help but crave more of him, because before you know it, you instinctively leap to straddle his lap. The newfound heat of your body on his has him groaning into your mouth. Fuck, it should be illegal for him to sound this pretty…

He slips his hands up your his shirt, raking his fingers up and down your back. Although you made your way onto his lap, he finds that you’re not close enough for his liking, so he decides to slightly dig his fingernails into your soft flesh. The action causes you to arch into him, causing you to let out an absurdly loud moan when you feel his dick come into contact with your core.

Your noise causes him to bring his actions to a halt, as he pulls away from your lips to get a good look at your face, you begin to feel the sting of embarrassment course through your veins.

When his blown out pupils look into yours for what felt like eons without saying a word, you promptly remove yourself from on top of him.

He eyes observe your now standing figure in awe. He doesn’t know how to process your reaction, it's so uncharacteristic of you, or was it? He’s never seen you in this state before. His head becomes overloaded with sinful thoughts. If that’s what you sounded like with barely any effort, what would happen if I actually tried a bit more? He feels lightheaded just thinking about it.

You stare at his heaving figure from a safe distance, before letting out a small chuckle,

I really just made out with Haechan right now..

You tuck your hair behind your ear as you prepare to speak, your voice wavers before breathlessly pushing out your next words, “I uh.. hah— I really should go upstairs.” You rapidly head for the door, not daring to look in the boy’s direction.

As your hand reaches for the door knob you feel his hand on your wrist, it's followed by a low voice, a foreign seriousness coats his next words, “It's not in my head, I can't be the only one who felt something at the club last night, you know what I’m talking about, and you can say whatever you want, but this—”, he motions at your flustered state, “confirms that for me.”

How dare he? I mean he’s absolutely correct but still, how brazen of him..

A small glimmer makes its way to your eye, you let a confused expression bloom onto your features before turning to face him,

“Last night… at the club?”, you furrow your brows as you tilt your head to the side to really sell your faux confusion.

He’s completely taken aback, dumbfounded, it takes him a minute as he chooses his next words carefully, “Yeah— I mean… Wait a second, you’re telling me you don’t even remember the club? What exactly is it that you DO remember?” You can feel his hand becoming clammy as he continues to hold his grip onto your wrist.

It's getting harder to hold back your amusement, but you manage to put on an excellent performance.

You stare at him blankly before raising an eyebrow, “Dude I literally blacked out? Did you forget the part where I asked everyone at breakfast to fill me in on our night?”

He freezes, demonstrating the telltale signs of someone who’s buffering in real time, Oh fuck, tell me that did not just happen right now…

You let your facade drop after a few seconds of silence, letting a smug aura emanate from your body, “But please, don't stop, what was it exactly that you felt last night?”

He quickly loses his grip on you, turning around to make his way back onto the bed, “Weren’t you in a hurry to leave or something?”

A puff of air leaves your nostrils as you observe him sliding under the covers, “Yeah I’m just gonna go up to the 10th floor” As you’re opening the door you turn to face him, “I’ll be back later though, try not to miss me too much”. He lets out a scoff at your remark, “I think I’ll survive.”

How does this man have an answer for everything? Hmmmm, how could I possibly get a reaction out of him?

As you pull the door to shut, you make sure to leave just enough space for you to peek your face through, getting in one final quip, “Oh— and if you decide to feel anything else, be sure to share it with me this time, you have my number.” You shoot him an exaggerated wink before slamming the door shut.

He sinks into the mattress as he hears your fading footsteps, wishing it would swallow him whole.

This is gonna be even more fun than you thought..

—

That’s a wrap on chapter 1!

part two can be found in this masterlist

What could possibly happen next?

Any feedback is appreciated haha :)

#nct scenarios #nct smut #mark lee #haechan #haechan x reader #mark x reader #nct 127 #kpop smut #haechan smut #mark smut #nct 127 smut #127 imagines #idol au #first series #For You? #127 scenarios #nct fanfic #nct #lee donghyuck

[half-deadfic]

Q&A with Darth Frodo

Hey, everyone! Two years ago, this project started as a way to reach out to authors who had left some beloved projects unfinished, mostly to reach out to them and see how they were doing, show them appreciation, and see if they needed any support in case they wanted to finish their projects or just wanted to have fun sharing behind the scenes information and tips through a Q&A.

As a part of bringing this project half-back to life, I would like to present the first Q&A of this project, in this case with the one and only @darthfrodophantom, who returned after almost 10 years to the phandom to share the ending for "A Secret Uncovered".

Special thanks to @dp-marvel94 for the questions submitted!

If you want to find out other amazing authors participating, make sure to check out this recommendation list for the project!

❇️ About Darth Frodo ❇️

[AO3] [FFN] A multi-fandom writer who has also written for Danny Phantom since the show was still on air, Darth Frodo joined the phandom classics early in the Fanfiction.Net era with beloved works such as "Tortured Truth" (2006) and "A Secret Uncovered" (First published on 2006). The latter was left on standby as life happened, but Darth's desire to finish the story was always close to her heart.

Her love for identity shenanigans and the philosophical analysis behind characters also took her to explore other ideas and stories back in the day, but also recently as she returned to the phandom for events such as Ectoberhaunt or the DP Reality Trip AU Zine, for which she published delightful new adventures.

Now that she has rewritten all of her first vision for "A Secret Uncovered" and added an incredible ending and epilogue, we reached out to Darth with a few questions...

❇️ Q&A ❇️

Q: What inspired you to write your story ("A Secret Uncovered")?

Darth: Not sure if you’ve caught on to this based on pretty much everything I write, but I love identity reveal fics. I love the awkward tension that happens right before, during, and after the reveal. I love the moment where you just don’t know how it’s going to turn out. And I love watching the aftermath of the characters struggling to adjust. I really wanted to write an identity reveal fic on a huge level that involved everyone finding out, and it kinda went from there.

Q: Who is your favorite character to write and why?

Darth: I feel like I have to say Danny because he’s pretty much my POV of choice. His internal monologues are so fun to dive into because he’s witty and snarky, but he can also be so clueless sometimes. I love putting him into different scenarios and watching him struggle through them. But if I had to pick a character outside of Danny, I’d have to go with Jazz. I just feel like I get her. She’s the mom friend and the big sister who ‘s an overachiever, and I love that. Jazz can connect pretty obscure dots, be the emotional comfort, and a voice of reason, which are so helpful.

Q. Are there any characters or types of scenes (action, dialogue, ect) that you struggle to write?

Darth: I feel like I struggle the most with transitions. How do we move from one scene to the next and conveying what happened in the downtime we don’t cover? How do we give the readers a sense of the emotional or logistical events that happened without actually having to spell it all out, but also not make it too exposition heavy? I want to include the details, but I don’t want to bog people down with exposition and passive tenses. It’s contrary to that “show don’t tell” tenet of writing, but it’s also acknowledging that from an editing perspective, you can’t show every minute. (Of course this is now all you're going to pay attention to when reading my writing lol)

Q. This one is based on a screenshot I saw on tumblr of a tweet saying "writing a fic consists of having one scene you want to write and scrambling to come up with an entire plot just so you can write one scene." If this applies to your story, what is THAT SCENE for your fic?

Darth: I actually did! I literally pictured the scene where Danny walks into school that first day after his secret has been revealed and everyone stares at him and whispers about him and crowds around him. When I first thought of doing an “everyone finds out” identity reveal, this was the first scene that popped into my head, and everything else spun from that concept.

Thank you so much Darth for the time to reply to these questions.

To anyone reading, we'll bring back the Q&A part of this project before we reach the 20th Danny Phantom Anniversary, as a way to hear from beloved writers and celebrate our phandom.

Stay tuned!

#danny phantom #half deadfic project #half-deadfic project #update #q&a #darth frodo #a secret uncovered

[dragimal]

Fave Long Fics

good ol' @arahir is asking for everyone's fave long fics, so here are mine!

sorry if the rambling is a bit long, I just want to express my love <3

🌟: denotes a fic that belongs in the literary equivalent of the Louvre-- a stunning piece of writing even outside of its contribution to the fandom

JJBA

🌟 scheherazade -- shylittleghost; Josuke/Okuyasu-centric, but multiple POVs; canon-compliant prequel/sequel to part 4, necessary to read/watch part 4 to understand

this is one of those fics that not only elevates the original work in several ways, but it's a stunning piece of writing as a whole. the flow and tone of the piece is so unique and difficult to describe, with a fitting balance between mystery/horror and deadpan humor, and uses the narrating voice to play with the 4th wall in a really fun and satisfying way. oh, and one of the last chapters is a little RPG game, adding a bit little multimedia twist <3

BEASTARS

🌟 Mongrels and Strays series (mainly Mongrels and Lockjaw)-- HassouToby; technically Mongrels' primary ships are Legosi/Haru and Louis/Juno, but it's more genfic with multiple POVs. Lockjaw is Pina/Riz-centric; canon divergence from ch 156 of the manga, so it's necessary to read at least that far to understand

I have a complicated love/hate relationship with Beastars, but this fic honestly retroactively makes Beastars a better experience, imo. it not only enhances the source material, but engages and challenges its implications in ways that I frankly think Beastars itself failed to, introducing a new final antagonist, new thematic tension, and new challenges for the main characters to face. more than anything though, Mongrels feels like what the end of Beastars should have been. this fic isn’t afraid to up the stakes and have actual consequences, making the central conflict feel like a real threat to both individual characters and society as a whole. this fic is intense and brutal, and it’s not afraid to make the characters you love hurt

Homestuck

🌟 Detective Pony -- sonnetstuck; Dirk-centric(??); it's an extension of a one-off joke in the comic, but it's not necessary to know HS to read it (but it's def more satisfying if you're at least familiar with the Alpha kids)

does this fic even need to be stated, for any HS fan? this is a classic of classics, the best rec any HS fan could give. a fic that starts off with a goofy joke from the original comic (a Pony Pals kid's book that Dirk has edited with silly commentary), which gradually snowballs into a much deeper story. a stunning piece of writing, I rank it among the best works of metafiction literature of all time. this fic does an incredible job of imitating Hussie's writing style (specifically Dirk's voice) and the multi-media presentation of HS, it almost feels like it popped straight out of the comic

Endangered -- Mortior; Dirk/Hal, Dirk-centric; robot-apocalypse AU, not necessary to know anything about HS

rly fun au, and one of my fave whump fics, for any whump fans out there. it's also one of my favorite depictions of an AI personality, like the approach to relationships and perceptions feels believable

The Magnus Archives

🌟 Two Ships Passing -- pyrites; Gerry Keay/Jon Sims-centric; a canon-divergent au starting before canon which slightly shifts the flow of the original story, so it's not strictly necessary to be familiar with TMA, but it helps

I must admit I never got around to finishing this one after it finished updating (😭), but trust me when I say this fic is stunning. some scenes still grip me 'round the throat to this day even just thinking about them. and the additional lore/background-building for certain characters is so so fitting and satisfying, it adds so much depth

To The Moon and Back series (main fic is Banned Book Week) -- verboseDescription; several different POVs, though BBB is Gerry/Tim-centric; the main fic diverges from canon after season 3, so I suppose knowledge up to that point is fine

another one I need to get around to finishing someday (idk why I dropped off a bunch of TMA fics specifically...), but this one introduces some interesting new character dynamics, and additional lore-building for many of the characters that adds fun new depth. also a few OCs whom I simply adore <3

What Belongs to the Sea -- TwoDrunkenCelestials, WhyNotFly; starts Elias/Jon, with Jon/Martin endgame, Jon-centric; "Jon is a selkie" au, and the fic implies/explains the rest of canon well enough to read without being familiar with TMA imo

this fic approaches canon worldbuilding from the direction of a different species, giving a unique new perspective on established truths of the setting. I also love the way Jon's character is so different, but still fundamentally the same kinda guy-- "fuck around and find out"-ass man lmao. not to mention Elias' fucked-up dynamic with Jon is ramped up here in a really delicious way, it rly puts their canon dynamic into perspective

Danny Phantom

🌟 Phantom of Truth / Shadow of a Doubt -- HaiJu; Danny Fenton & Maddie Fenton-centric; "what if" scenario divergence from an unspecific point in canon, would prolly be best to be familiar with the show but u can prolly get away with some wiki skimming

this one's a classic, and one of the big contributors to the "dissection/vivisection" genre of whump in the DP fandom, haha. it's such an intimate analysis of Danny's relationship with his mom, and it refuses to pull punches on Danny's situation and resulting trauma. I think it also does an excellent job challenging Maddie's perception/ethics in genuine and fundamental ways

Rise of the Guardians (movie)

🌟 Shadows and Light series -- not_poignant; Jack Frost/Pitch Black, Jack-centric; canon-compliant sequel to the movie (can't speak for book canon), u can prolly get away with reading a wiki summary if u don't wanna watch the movie

one of my fave fics for a decade now, I absolutely LOVE what this fic does for ROTG worldbuilding. so much thought is put into the politics of the fae community, and how magic functions both practically and thematically. and it introduces a ton of cool fae ocs, many of which now have their own stories, as the author has used their fae world here in other original stories as well (would also recommend!!). and the relationship between Pitch/Jack is excellent of course, with a lot of interesting BDSM elements to their dynamic (a common trend in this author's other writing as well)

Mob Psycho 100

🌟 A Breach of Trust -- Phantomrose96; Ritsu, Mob, & Reigen-centric, but multiple other POVs as well; diverges from canon before the start of the canon story, so knowing MP100 isn't necessary

this is a really fun "what if Reigen and Mob didn't meet when they were supposed to?" canon-divergent au. it pushes basically every character to their worst, most self-destructive ends, and it makes me want to throttle some of them (affectionate <3). the fic isn't done yet (as of posting this), but it promises to end satisfyingly-- it just has to put everyone through the wringer first lmao

Welcome to Night Vale

🌟 run, run, fast as you-- -- (orphaned); Cecil/Carlos, Carlos-centric; compliant with early NV lore, mostly diverges in some of Carlos' background and motivations moving to Night Vale. familiarity with s1 would be useful, but not strictly necessary

really really stunning fic, I love the additional lore-building for Carlos and Cecil here, so much is added to their characters. since this is such an old fic, some of the lore here ends up being retroactively false, as the podcast introduced different lore later on. but I almost wish some of the lore here was canon b/c it's just that good (like Cecil's whole thing with the orphanage, and how the orphanage even functions OUGH!)

The Devil Went Down To Georgia (you heard that right, the country song)

🌟 The Devil Went Down to Georgia (And Then Went Down on Johnny) series -- notbecauseofvictories; Johnny/The Devil, Johnny-centric; I guess a modern take on canon, kinda treated like an original story tbh, but like. you can also just listen to the song beforehand

the author clearly has a deep knowledge and passion for music-- especially country music-- and it rly shines through in this fic. the celebration of music and community and country culture here is just. idk, it's like being invited to the table, somehow, I love it. this whole fic is poetry and it makes me ache

Portal

Blue Sky -- wafflestories; Wheatley/Chell-centric; canon-compliant sequel to the second game, necessary to know the games to understand

I must admit it's been several years since I've read this one, so my memory of it isn't quite as strong. but I remember it being a very loving rehabilitation of Wheatley and Chell's relationship, and I believe it's considered a classic by the ship's fans.

How To Train Your Dragon (movie)

I Hear Him Scream -- Rift-Raft; Toothless & Hiccup-centric; diverges from canon at the point when Hiccup downs Toothless with the net at the beginning of the movie, so watching the movie isn't super necessary, tho I imagine most of us have seen it (as we should!!)

I don't know that I would call this one particularly well-written-- it can get kinda awkward and jarring at points, and the end of the story kinda goes off the rails for me. but the premise and worldbuilding make up for it, imo. but I admit I love xenofiction, so I love seeing the deep lore about dragon culture/society this fic presents

Kekkai Sensen

Fleißiger Junge -- TheLennyBunny; Klaus/Leo, Leo-centric; demon/angel au, not necessary to know KKSS

I really love the demon/angel worldbuilding in this one, with a delicious twist of horror that's so fitting to canon /chef's kiss/. and the way Leo's family is characterized (with several OC characters) is so so fun and charming. good eating for the starving Klaus/Leo fans out there 😭

RWBY

🌟 Teaching Qrow -- ByronNightshade; Qrow-centric; a canon-compliant prequel to the canon story, a bit of knowledge about the setting and Qrow's backstory are kinda necessary

I fucking love what this fic does for Qrow's character, it treats him with way more nuance and understanding than canon ever has (tho tbf, most Qrow fans do, lol). and all the additional OCs and building on the subtle implications of RWBY lore... AUGH it's good

My Hero Academia

Hero Class Civil Warfare -- RogueDruid; genfic with multiple POVs; "what if" scenario divergence from an unspecific point in canon, prolly necessary to at least be familiar with the world/characters to a point

really fun "what if this class exercise got got a bit too intense, haha~" au. it introduces a ton of fun new dynamics between the characters, and lets Izuku shine as a badass, chessmaster "villain"

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

Imaginary Truths -- Mythril; Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk-centric; actor au, not necessary to know ORV

this fic does an excellent job translating the canon relationships/dynamics to this setting, and keeps the core of the story/themes intact in rly interesting ways.

new game (+) -- illusionedwhite; Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk, Yoo Joonghyuk-centric; role-reversal au, and since it starts from the beginning where where canon would have started, I guess it's not technically necessary to read ORV first? but ORV provides more context

this fic is rly careful about the particular way Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk switch roles-- it's very much about their story roles. their core characters/themes remain intact, they're just interpreted through a new lens here. this is for the fans that read ORV and thought, "what if I want to read ORV again, but slightly to the left?"

Genshin Impact

🌟 Begin Anew, O Lost Child -- DarthPeezy; Childe/Zhongli/Guizhong, Childe-centric; a time-travel au that diverges from canon at the battle with Osial in the Liyue chapter, so familiarity up to that point is necessary

there's something about circularity and connection, here. about reaching across expanses of time to connect with those you love, and those you lost. about the horror of fate, and the hope for a future in spite of it. idk, this fic did something to me

we were lovers -- ThirteenSocks; Kazuha/his unnamed friend, Kazuha-centric; "Kazuha loses his vision" au, with a few twists. this fic doesn't really touch canon involving the traveler, but familiarity with Inazuma is necessary, so at least up through that chapter in-game.

what else can I say except this fic is beautiful-- it has the same melodic quality that I associate with Kazuha himself, so it feels perfectly appropriate.

To Be or Not To Be (Human With You) -- lilbittofmatcha; Aether/Scaramouche, Aether-centric; diverges after the end of the whole Sumeru chapter, familiarity up to that point is necessary

I really really love Traveler fics that acknowledge that the Traveler is essentially an otherworldy alien being, and was perhaps even godlike(??) before landing in Teyvat. I especially love Aether's characterization here, and the obvious comparisons to be made with Scara's situation

Sinking Ships in Liyue Harbor -- whereherbonesareburied; Diluc/Kaeya, Diluc-centric; a "what if Kaeya left" divergence from canon sometime after the events of the Mondstadt chapter. it's necessary to be familiar with Kaeya and Diluc's relationship, so reading up on their lore is best, though familiarity up through the Liyue chapter will help with this one

something about the pacing and framing of this fic really charms me. like, Diluc's journey to find Kaeya is kinda framed as a series meetings with several new people, like snapshots from a photo album? it's fun to see so many different, brief impressions of characters through his eyes

Osomatsu-san

Dissociation Disease -- PyrrhicFiend; Karamatsu-centric; technically features multiple AUs, but the core story is show canon. not strictly necessary to be familiar with the show

a fic I never ended up finishing (someday..), but I remember it being incredibly trippy and bizarre in the best of ways. though it may not be the best fic to read dealing with dissociation themself, because it grapples a lot with warped perception and hallucinations

🌟 Frater, Ave Atque Vale -- (orphaned); Karamatsu/Osomatsu, Osomatsu-centric; fantasy AU, not necessary to know the show

this one's perhaps on the razor's edge of not being long enough for this list, but I'm counting it anyways. there's something about 'brief' writing styles that often captures me, like parsing a scene down to its bare essentials makes the tone/emotion land more powerfully. this fic is probably my favorite example of this style

Voltron: VLD

The Rites of Courtship -- calibratingentropy; Keith/Thace, Keith-centric; canon-divergence from the end of s1 ep12, and it's kinda necessary to be familiar at least to that point, though u might be able to skim the wiki

a rarepair I never woulda considered if a friend hadn't recced this fic to me way back, haha. this fic features some of my favorite alien worldbuilding, with a lot of thought and care put into Galran culture and biology, I think about it a lot as a specevo creator myself

The Favored Champion -- sugarapplesweet; Sendak/Shiro, Shiro-centric; canon-divergence before canon, while Shiro is still a coliseum fighter

real fucked-up Stockholm Syndrome abusive relationship, Shiro goes thru the wringer </3. I love the way the relationship with the Lions is depicted here too, the chapter where Shiro basically screams at the Black Lion grips me by the throat. another great example of cool Galra worldbuilding too, not as heavy on the bio side as the last one but fun to see either way!

Tokyo Mew Mew

The Deal -- RizuOnceAgain; Ichigo/Quiche, Ichigo-centric; canon-divergent from an unspecified(?) point in canon, and I um. I've never watched TMM and know very little beyond TMM's basic premise and main characters? so take that as you will

I don't often read fics from things I'm not familiar with, but I trust my friend's recs with my life, and this one did not disappoint. I can't speak on how faithful it is to the original, but Ichigo/Quiche's dynamic here makes me go crazy nutso bonkers!! it has me banging on the walls and chewing furniture, oh my god!! it almost makes me wanna watch the show even tho I know I won't like it nearly as much as this fic 😭.

#there are still a few fics I can't in good faith rec here simply b/c of the source material #sigh. they still live in me heart tho. and my AO3 <3 #shut up ashley #I may end up updating this as I please #fic recs

[clunelover]

Okay wow, My Dark Vanessa is so intense, and I’m glad it was recommended to me. It is definitely a darker (ha) version of some stuff I was working through in some recent writing. (Oh and I did finally get to where you find out that the title comes from Pale Fire - so maybe a lot of people know that, but I haven’t read that and did not know).

I had a teacher in high school who I had a mega crush on. He was younger and very funny and IMO hot. I was on the rowing team, and I knew he was a rower too. It’s a small community, so I heard from other team members that he used to be a coach for my team, IIRC when he was just getting out of college. He got together with a girl on the team. It was a whole big thing, he got fired and everyone was very upset, except for the girl’s parents who didn’t think it was that big a deal (I’m thinking like, 17 and 22. That realm). I don’t have much opinion on that. I know they’re married and have kids. I see him around town sometimes. He brings one of his kids to watch roller derby and my sister does that.

I was very dorky and weird in hs. I had this misguided notion that since this teacher had hooked up with a younger girl at one point (btw I did know he was still with her, maybe engaged, at this time), that maybe I had a chance with him. I stalked him and found all kinds of reasons to hang out late after class and was overall very cringey.

I found out he lived right by school so I would also stop by his house, often with my high school BFF who also had a crush on him, albeit less intense I think. He one time did invite us in, and showed us the “all your base are belong to us” video on YouTube.

At some point, I said something mean to him in class and then we had a 1:1 meeting to discuss it and he said I had hurt his feelings - somehow then we ended up discussing the fact that my dad was in the hospital with some then-mysterious issue that was causing his respiratory system to shut down…I was all messed up from it and acting out. I think the teacher also had something going on with his dad, maybe he had recently died. He quoted some Dar Williams lyrics to me? (More cringe - although I did, and still do, love her, it’s just not a normal thing for a teacher to do!) This made me feel like we were bonding and had some kind of connection.

I definitely don’t think he was ever attracted to me, and nothing happened. However, with the benefit of age I’m now like “wtf was he doing having us come in to his house, and having that emo talk with me?” It definitely did not help matters re: my crush. I remember being on winter break and visiting family in Washington not long after, and just feeling this LONGING for him. I was miserable. Ugh.

Anyway. As to my story - I did this cool writing exercise that was called “shape shifting the autobiographical.” It was a multi step thing where you start with an anecdote about something interesting that happened to you. I picked a time when bff and I got pirate costumes and drove to his house and talked to him like pirates (yes…) and it was very dumb but also very funny to us and fun to reminisce about. We got the idea because the pirates of the carribean movie had just come out, and the ad campaign included these banner ads online that just said “PIRATES!” And we thought that was so weird and funny.

For the next step of the exercise, you retell it from a different POV. I picked his wife. Then you change the time period, so I moved it to present day. Then you write it in a whole other style, like a letter or something - I chose a r/AITA post in which she wonders whether she’s the asshole for being upset with how her husband is handling these students with a crush - with lots of edits and updates as the stalking and her distress escalate (at this point, it veered into fiction, I think she was maybe annoyed by us but not distressed, and I wrote the stalking much worse than in real life). Then you change the genre so I tried to make it more like horror.

Anyway, I think I was trying to get at this idea of a woman who got together with her husband in a dubious age gap/power differential situation, but doesn’t think much about it, until she sees him maybe almost crossing lines with girls who are the same age as she was when it happened, and she sees how much they are just children, and she was a child too, and that realization is the horror in the story. I doubt the real life wife actually feels that way (I mean, I’d have no idea obv), but it was an interesting idea to play with. I also really liked the AITA form cause so many of those letters take the tone of “my male partner is basically a monster…is it possible that it is in fact my fault?” and that’s a fun thing to play with too.

I’m realizing now that I didn’t quite get deep enough into that theme (ahem, why that editor I sent it to said it seemed surface level). And it’s kind of a bummer* but also good to see it done much better (and pushed much further/an actual Wrong relationship is part of it) in this book.

*bummer as in, it always kind of sucks to read something you wish you could write. But is also inspiring and interesting.

[kipperlillycopperkettle]

predictably maybe, katniss sole au!!!

i just think it's a fun and interesting world to play with. what if katniss was just a little bit less attached to peeta? what if katniss was just a little bit more angry, a little bit quicker on the draw? what if peeta didn't let her do the berry stunt? i just think it's interesting! also it was haymitch pov bc imo the hunger games should've been multi-pov and one of those povs should've been haymitch's. i understand why it wasn't but i still think it should have been.

i'm not sure why i stopped writing this one, tbh? because i have a bunch of scene ideas to write written out in the doc. honestly i probably just had inspiration for different stuff and then it left my field of vision and i forgot about it because i do not have object permanence.

haymitch watches as the rule is revoked. he nearly laughs at the shocked filled expressions painted on both of their faces. don’t they know this is how the game is played? that the gamemakers would never let two of them win. not ever. katniss’s hand flies to her bow, notching an arrow and pointing it at peeta. haymitch smiles bitterly. she’s a survivor, that one, harper fairfield had said — wait, it was mellark now, wasn’t it? she'd married farrin, popped out three kids, bannock, cruller, and peeta — none of whom she treated decently. she’d never wanted kids. never wanted to risk losing them. never wanted to get attached. haymitch could relate — and harper was right. katniss has always reminded haymitch far too much of himself for him to be truly comfortable with her. 

he watches as she lowers the bow. “peeta, i.. ” she trails off. haymitch fills in the rest of the sentence for her in his mind. she can’t kill you. not you. anyone but you.

peeta frowns bitterly. “if you don’t, i’ll rip off my tourniquet and bleed to death. your way’s quicker,” he threatens. he’s always been clever, that one, haymitch muses. ‘she came here with me.’ he knows how to work a crowd. he’s the safe choice for victor, haymitch realizes suddenly. it’s peeta, not katniss, who can charm the capitol and lie through his teeth. he’s two-faced, and he knows just what to say and when to say it. he nearly regrets thinking katniss could help spark — hah! — the revolution. she could, sure, but peeta could keep it burning. it doesn’t matter now, he reminds himself. doesn’t matter much now. they’ll make their choices and snow knows they’ll stick to them. 

“no,” katniss says, the sharp, determined edge to her voice that haymitch knows she gets when she’s made up her mind. “i won’t let you do that.”

peeta raises an eyebrow. “they have to have their victor, one way or another.” he hobbles towards katniss, leaning in to whisper in her ear so quietly that the microphones don’t pick it up before lifting her bow and pointing it right at himself. he backs away, a soft, sad smile on his face.

katniss’s arrow leaves her bow before anyone knows what she’s done. she drops the bow once the arrow splinters its way into peeta’s ribcage, directly in his heart. she runs towards peeta, cradling his head in her lap.

when peeta dies, he dies with katniss’s tears forming a crown on his brow. it’s almost ironic, haymitch thinks. almost. almost. he takes a deep breath, reminds himself that he’s still got one victor, and not to wallow in his misery just yet. 

claudius templesmith’s voice booms across haymitch’s headphones. “ladies and gentlemen, the victor of the seventy-fourth annual hunger games, katniss everdeen!”

#fic tag #ask tag #wip ask game

[dr-lizortecho]

for the fic asks 3, 8, 9, 16, 21, 23, 28, 30

What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

I don’t know that I did 😂 maybe that I can be even slower with updating than before?

Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year?

I tried my hand out at Liz Ortecho/Anatsa Mufaro as well as dekvecho (as you know, lol) and of course I wrote my first ever Max Evans/Alex Manes fic (so tapping into even rarer pairs in the world I already stan so many rarepairs in)

What fic meant the most to you to write?

Easily, without a question it was and the winter passed and the sun shine upon her, my trans Max fic (though Treading Water is my baby and therefore an honorable mention)

What were you go-to writing songs?

I don’t use writing songs, that’s too much noise

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

From as long as the sea is bound to wash upon the sand, cause the kyliz banter was such fun to write

And Kyle grins wickedly, “oh, wow. Of course you’re all flustered by a half fish guy. It’s the science isn’t it.”

“No,” Liz rolls her eyes.

“Is it cause he’s tall?” Kyle teases. “Or cause you watched him flop around like a fish out water while butt naked.”

Liz swats his arm, “stop.”

Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

From cause this is my game and you better come to play

She leans all of her weight onto one arm, muscle bulging from the effort, so she can cup his chin with her left hand. Nails indenting his skin as she captures his mouth in a searing kiss, the scrape of his stubble against her palm creating enough sensation he’s floating. Hips bucking up into her thigh, chasing pleasure as she slides her tongue into his mouth. The kiss is slow and dirty. Her tongue seems to pull the air out of his lungs, before abandoning him completely, leaving him gasping as she pulls his lip between her teeth.

Transitions! What can I tell you- also, just the action scenes required to make a smut scene work, without letting Max’s pov get overly poetic and long winded? Difficult at best. But mostly this was the result of cutting down my blatant Liz thirst in this fic

How did you recharge between fics?

I read other fic! Also, just watch brainless television

What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I’m hoping to get a slowburn kaliz fic under my belt soon (also… messing around with the idea of a Machelle multi-chapter fic where I’m the only reader, lmao)

2023 in review (fic asks)

#roswell new mexico #anyways this is me telling you all to read my trans Max fic #I loved and I think you’ll enjoy it #fic stuff #thanks for the ask <3