#also you know what imma tag this with

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

i feel like my brainworms are legit nerfing me

oversharing ahead but i honestly don't care nor see this as a big deal. what's the point of living if i can't talk about my life

i'm not sure what to do about it... one thing they don't warn about when it comes to recovery, you kind of go "backwards" in your timeline, unfolding deeper and deeper traumas. this leads to addressing needs that for most healthy individuals have been satisfied during appropriate stages of development. and it's kind of hard to navigate through, and the deeper into childhood, the harder. and the dumber some issues are.

like...

i identified one of major sources of my art block through noticing the same pattern while learning japanese. i have an exam next month, and i'm sitting here just clowning around, avoiding touching my workbooks. i don't have any struggles learning it. in fact, i'm catching things quickly and if i practiced, i would have been better. but i just can't make myself study, and the block is so strong, it's paralyzing me the same way my art does.

why learn or do anything, if 1. there are people who are better at it, from those who studied better to native speakers, or in case with art, are more creative and have been going to art school since they fell out of the womb 2. i get nothing from it, no praise, no attention, nothing. no change in attitude towards me (this phrasing suits better, considering what i'm about to say next)

and one can think of bajillion things to debunk these points. like, who the fuck cares, do what you like, engage in things that make you happy, also learning skills or expressing oneself through art doesn't render "nothing" as a result, like, it's obvious how both can be monetized, if we're going for "practical" needs, and how many other opportunities await me that can broaden horizons and enrich my existence.

but... but.

the entity we're trying to tell these things isn't the current, conscious mind of 30 year old me.

it's an ostracized, bullied, weird tween that seems to be doing good at school, where the kid finds escapism from issues at home. the kid is called a goddamn little genius at first, but eventually it all becomes boring or doesn't go in line with school program, it's annoying, the kid is fucking annoying too, can't come up with anything useful or worthy everyone's time. so the kid scribbles random shit to escape or vent about both school and home life. or just embraces art. and hey, looks like these skills are cool and complex enough to catch everyone's attention once again and be the cool artist daughter/cousin/friend/whatever i was called to have, i'm considered talented and useful again. for a while. didn't last long because it's all still essentially useless. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa help

(ok random cringy note but i have been thinking recently how fandom often draws spamton the way i used to dress in my mid teens; the time when every bit of hope or resemblance of peace in my life crashed beyond retrieve. he's my spirit animal now)

like. words and lack of full background (which i won't go into in public obviously sjxjskxsxj) can't really explain why something that doesn't sound like a big deal as i type it left such a huge impact on me. my life at home was like a pure nightmare at some point, and came with serious baggage i still yet to unpack. my life at school sucked a lot, except for two years where i switched schools and it brought some relief, albeit temporarily. there were days where i would spend a whole night up, being on full alert for any random reason, including physically fighting or eavesdropping every noise i can hear behind my door, hoping i won't get stabbed or raped in my sleep. that's why i have issues sleeping these days and wake up from every tiny fucking noise. and after that, i would go to school and say i literally couldn't do my homework and none of these fuckheads cared, they called me useless, lazy, and threatened with consequences. yeah, "being useful" became tied close to "having a right to live" because of all the fucking mess that went on, the puzzle is coming together.

~

as i was reading pete walker's book "complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving", bits about describing traumatized children growing into completely dysfunctional adults, to the point where they're on disability and literally can't function at all, i thought about how i essentially sabotaged myself through thing i described above.

if i didn't deliberately ruin everything, i may have had a network of artists at this point, probably opportunities that i can't even think of, stable income, probably also a stable community, but i just dipped right when i was getting more and more interesting commission requests, getting more known, merch being done with my art, people being interested in my stuff, getting some cool opportunities, some of which were even about to spread outside fandom circles...

that hole of void inside, that feeling of uselessness and not being enough, has been growing (along with other issues i had, but still) until it burst and i was avoiding it all like plague, saying "no" to everyone who came to me until they stopped coming, obsessing over being the lamest artist featured everywhere, being afraid to create because it felt like i'm ruining paper/canvas/digital spaces/etc with my essence, that i'm not allowed to make myself present in anyone's life, unless i earned that right through being "useful", and even then i still experienced paranoia and severe anger issues and so, so, so many other things that led me to be diagnosed with a mood disorder, a personality disorder, and then put on antipsychotics and antidepressants.

...

you know, now that i'm typing this all out, i'm thinking that this made it all even worse. i'm even more scared of approaching these issues, because now they have a "take a pill and shut up" layer to it. "you're born useless and don't have a place among us, sedate yourself so you stop being a nuisance to everyone". "no, the world is completely fine, you're the broken one". "normal people live fine with X and Y, you're just crazy, delusional, sick, yOuR BraIn ChEmIcAlS ArE OfF meNtAL iLLness Is WHen Ur BraIn Is BrokeN1!1 MentAl DisorDers ExisT In VacUuM U jUsT WeRe BorN MenThollY EEL TAKE THIS COCKTAIL OF DANGEROUS DRUGS WITH A BUNCH OF SIDE EFFECTS THAT WILL KILL THE REST OF YOUR MIND!!111"

i have no idea in the fucking slightest what to do. i'm doing much, much better than ever. i could even say, i'm very close to being normal, at least in the way i define it. but everything that has to do with vague definition of occupation, hobby, and collective/community? i'm kinda just brute forcing things as of now, idk.

but i don't think i can push it this way for long, cuz... progress in my skills doesn't heal. using a new language doesn't heal. finishing projects, no matter how fun or cool, doesn't heal. getting praised for these doesn't heal. getting paid for my art (or anything at all in theory) doesn't heal. socializing doesn't heal, i just do it in spite of lil demon behind my shoulder constantly whispering me that i'm everyone's laughing stock/annoyance/whatever and everyone i'm interested in wants me away. having some people prove these delusions to me in the past few years didn't help either.

maybe i'll come to solution later, as i always do, but as of now... i'm stuck and i don't know where to start

#ronin.txt #venting #? i guess #it's more of a processing #and typing things out so i could work on them better ig #long post #lmao #also you know what imma tag this with #anti psychiatry #because why the fuck not

[shatouto]

i've seen a poll about gale and anders but i feel like this one is a more difficult one to answer

#baldur's gate 3 #dragon age #see i think astarion wouldn't want to damage his nails. but also he has vampire reflexes #on the other hand fenris is.... fenris #personally imma go with fenris #edit: ok apparently y'all think this is an easy question sjdjsksk #no i legit was trying to be fair to astarion! he is pretty strong in melee (especially when he fights dirty)! #i mean it he's the dps in my party full of casters (maybe that's the problem...) #edit 2: my soul is pledged to fenris but istg y'all are so mean to astarion in the tags 😭😭😭 #edit 3: okay fine i should've said a fight instead of a fistfight..... sorry astarion #you all should know that every mention of fenris's strength makes me 🥵 btw. as it always goes #edit 4: the astarion roasting is starting to feel more like me being roasted personally and ya know what i deserved it-

[just-french-me-up]

Hyperfeminine characters 🥰🥰🥰

Hyperfeminine characters who aren't portrayed as stupid, vapid or vain 🥰🥰 Hyperfeminine characters who genuinely enjoy quote unquote feminine interests and aren't vilified or looked down upon because of them 🥰🥰 Hyperfeminine characters who are big on female friendships rather than thrown into jealousy and "cat fight" arcs 🥰 Hyperfeminine characters whose deep interest in fashion isn't considered superficial and silly, but interesting and respectable! 🥰 Hyperfeminine characters who aren't the butt of the joke and who are well-rounded characters with depth 🥰🥰

#IDK how to tag this #but basically #more elle woods #also hyperfeminine characters include characters who arent female presenting #i'm just!!!!!!!!!! reclaiming hyperfeminine characters!!!!!! #cause!!!!!!! you can be hyperfeminine and badass and clever and intelligent and kind and interesting and ALL SORTS OF THINGS #you know what she IS like other girls #and what about it #like girls aren't :')))))))))) amazing :'))))))) #anyway #imma write all the hyperfeminine people I can #mine

[wizardo-yo]

hey y'all! the time has come!! i just finished a very short Wizard101 (and slightly Pirate101) fan game called Passageways!

in it, you retrace the steps of a lost adventuring group through a mysterious world and try to uncover what happened there

the link is here if you'd like to download and check it out for yourself!

#wizard101 #w101 #wizzy fandom #pirate101 #p101 #i don't even know what to tag this one as #game development #gamedev #i guess #unity3d #blender3d #also the game is free but if u wanna donate something thatd be p poggers :3c #imma be honest i say game but its more like interactive fanfiction #also okay so the footage is a little old bc i added a few changes to the decorations after recording and i didn't wanna re-edit the trailer #you know how it is #also special thankies to savethespiral for being my editor truly could not have done this without u

[loafyall]

"Who did this to you..?"

(CRASHES INTO PART TWO OF "I can't")

Hi!

Okay well I kinda lied that I would write the part two of "I can't" in a day but it took me three days so i apologise for making everyone who read part 1 and were waiting for part two!

I had exams going on and I'm finally free!!

---------------main story..----------------

Summary : Yanqing is found the next morning of the incident, In an abandoned street of the Aurum alley, It's time for jing yuan to find out what happened to Yanqing and jing yuan's about to kill, torture that bastard and he is planning too.

--------------------------------------------

Yanqing was never this late at coming home and reporting back to jing yuan, Well, Yanqing was always late at coming home, But it was different.

-he wasn't home at all.

It was only until morning that Jing yuan realised that Yanqing hasn't came home yet, Which obviously, Got jing yuan worried, Perhaps he's with dealing with mara-struck? Or already at the training grounds?.

--no, Yanqing would have never woken up before jing yuan, It's unlikely for him to do that.

It's probably around the time for Noon before jing yuan starts slightly panicking as he hasn't seen yanqing in such a while already, Eversince the patrol started last evening, He hasn't been home since. Perhaps he could ask madam Fu or the helm master about yanqing's whereabouts but he already knew their answer would surely be no.

There's loud knocking on the door, It's probably the knights.

And yes it was the knights, Just as jing yuan thought, Why were they here?, That's when the bad news comes in when one cloud knight finally speaks.

"General, There's something you need to see." That cloud knight respectfully speaks, His head bowed down. "It's about lieutenant yanqing." And that's where jing yuan eyes widened at the mention of his (son) retainer.

"Please, Go on." Jing yuan said, Trying his best at remaining calm, But he couldnt.

That's probably when the other cloud knight tells him, Yanqing was found in some dark abandoned street of the Aurum alley, And that's what Sushang had reported in earlier.

Now jing yuan was worried, Way worried about his retainer, he got up from his seat, As he put his own pen down in which he was signing his paperwork with.

"We'll need to go there immediately, Send a medical party there immediately, You may be dismissed." Jing yuan had said that in an authoritative tone, He was going to kill that bastard who did that horrendous thing to yanqing when he finds out who he is, He's in great trouble.

---------TIMESKIP...--------

"Tch, Can't take the whole thing in one go and had to pass out that early?." That's cloud knight said, That bastard who tried to Do the Ungodly with Yanqing, Yanqing was practically crying and aswell as shaking as he tried to cover his half naked body.

Some bruises and scars were around his hands and back, Few on his legs, His tears soaking into the ground and his clothes, Yanqing's Vision was blurry, And with pouring rain it made it all worse.

Yanqing felt like he's a worthless child who doesn't deserve happiness, The way he's been traumatized is Ungodly, There were bodily fluids, and blood was there, Which could've made Yanqing vomit, Blood was gushing out from the bruise given by that bastard, Yanqing as going to going to pass out soon because of the pressure.

Yanqing's tears didn't come to a stop as he laid there, Motionless, He was unsure of what to do, He wanted to try and get up, But that man who did this to him had him pinned down by his foot on Yanqing's stomach, It was sure that the guy would leave a few more bruises on him before feeling satisfied .

There was a loud scream coming out of yanqing's dry throat when that bastard punched Yanqing on the stomach, Yanqing was tightly gripping on his own stomach, Trying so hard not to cry as he looked at that guy.

And that scream alerted The other cloud knights who were trying to find Yanqing by Jing yuan's order.

"shit." That bastard cursed as he ran away not to be seen by the cloud knights as he put on his knight uniform and that bastard ran away, Leaving Yanqing fully finished and traumatized.

And that's where Jing yuan found Yanqing as he followed the shout.

But Jing yuan immediately came to an abrupt stop when he saw Yanqing.

Covered in bruises, His hair messed up badly, Blood almost everywhere, Yanqing's tear-soaked face as yanqing looked at him, Jing yuan sweared to Aeons that he wouldn't vomit, And then there was a dry, Crying voice coming out of Yanqing.

"G-general?.." That was the only thing yanqing said, Before he Passed out into his exhaustion.

"Yanqing!." Jing yuan couldn't think of this, This was the last thing he wanted to imagine to happen to yanqing, He quickly rushed to the boy, He removed the hair coming on his eyes.

Thank Aeons that boy had just passed out, Or there could be worse casualties than that.

"Knights!, we found him!, Get him back to the Medical institution." Jing yuan ordered as he lifted up Yanqing in his arms.

That boy barely weighed alot, He was fit and all, Although he doesn't eat alot and jing yuan who's knows how many times he has scolded him to eat and not skip his meals.

TIMESKIP

Anger was already boiling inside Jing yuan as he watched Yanqing being operated by the Alchemy commission's healer Lady, Bailu.

The question on jing yuan's head was

'Who and why did they do this to him?.'

Jing yuan litterally would litterally kill the person and make sure they go even worse in the shackling prison, Maybe Jing yuan would but the balls of the guy and choke him with his own hands and feed the remains of the bastard to Mimi.

But for now, He just had to be there for Yanqing.

Slowly, Yanqing opens his eyes, He doesn't seem scared, But more relieved as he's out of that bastard's grasp, He doesn't even realise that Bailu's talking to him.

"heyyy!! Don't ignore me!." Bailu just pouts, As she stared at Yanqing, Yanqing looks at her.

"sorry.." Yanqing sighs.

"Are you okay?." Bailu asks

"...." Yanqing isn't sure how to respond, He doesn't want to worry Bailu, So he simply states "yea, Much better than before." Yanqing just puts on a small smile, Before staring at his hand again.

"Yanqing." there was the same familiar voice, Jing yuan, His eyes were softer, As he say down beside yanqing's bed.

yanqing has the feeling to cry as he say his (father) General, He wanted to tell what that bastard did to him.

"who.. did this to you?." Jing yuan said, As he held yanqing's other hand, Yanqing gulped and looked down, Not wanting to show his tears.

"I-im sorry General, I-i didn't know how to stop him, I know, I'm too weak." Yanqing admitted as tears feel down his eyes.

Jing yuan couldn't believe what yanqing just said to him, Yanqing was never weak, He is a child, A child with ambition to be the best, But that bastard who did this to him, Needed to be punished In the worst way possible, That guy tried to take Advantage of a Child, A FREAKING 14 YEAR OLD.

"Oh yanqing.." Jing yuan sighed, As he pulled the blonde boy into a hug, "it's not your fault and it was never your fault, you're still 14, I should also be the one to blame here to sending you with that cloud knight." Jing yuan said, As yanqing cried into his arms. "Who did this to you?." Jing yuan asked, As yanqing let out a voice. "A cloud knight named.... Xiun."(Yes I made up a name.)

Now jing yuan was clearly angry and wanted to punish that bitch called Xiun, He sweared if he sees Xiun, He will murder him alive and feed his remains to Mimi, Who would be very happy to Eat the meat.

But for now

He's happy that Yanqing's alright, He needs to recover, Mentally and physically.

-------END--------

Note : OMG MY HANDS ARE ACHING LITTERALLY FOR WRITING THIS FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT AND I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING YET

I hope you enjoyed this part!! Let me know if you want an additional part of Jing yuan ruthlessly murdering that Bastard to did that to Yanqing!!

Sorry for any grammer mistakes and all, I hope you guys liked it! (Btw part 1 is in my Blog, Go read that before you read this!!!)

#yanqing #honkai star rail yanqing #hsr yanqing #hsr jing yuan #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail #dad jing yuan #jing yuan #hsr bailu #angst with a happy ending #idk what else to tag #I am slightly very happy that I got 20 likes on part 1 and I decided to do a part two!! #Let me know if y'all want a part 3 about jing yuan beating that guy who did the ungodly with Yanqing #I ALSO BEAT THAT BASTARD UP BTW #Hoyo you need to stop making yanqing a punching bag #Or else imma have a talk with ya 😊😈 #Some mentions of Fu Xuan #i love him #light angst #hsr #father son bonding #Jing yuan is Yanqing's parent!!! Canon!!! #They are family no one can prove me wrong alr??!!

[illegiblehandwriting1]

went to the best store on the planet aka barnes & noble yesterday with my heart set on shakespeare and had a crisis over whether i should get Fantasy Space Lesbian Necromancers or Man in Coma Loses Memory and Saves Human Race but with Real Physics (both of which i have yet to read but desperately want to) so of course i walked out with hamlet and the four swords manga *sighs in nerd*

#what makes it better is that i've already read the fs manga #but now i have my own #also YES im gonna annotate hamlet who do you think i am #but yeah i was deliberating between Gideon the Ninth and Project Hail Mary #but my public library has both of them (i think) so i can at least get them #im such a fucking nerd ok it's hilarious #but did you expect anything less i sure hope not #how to tag this hmmmmmmmm #zelda #chicken scratch #four swords #project hail mary #gideon the ninth #and we will leave it at that i think #imma go to bed now #plan is to finish ch17 edits (thx inthi) and summary the rest of the fic tmrw #will it get done? who fucking knows but im tired as all hell

[imminent-danger-came]

Okay so, if LBD was "I will completely demolish this system to build a new one", and Azure was "I will use the system for my benefit to improve the system", what do we think our new antagonist will be

#Like. We know it's gonna have to involve subverting pain in some way #And abusing power in whatever way to do it (which they've already done with the scroll) #But it's also gonna have to build the ''perfect world'' in their head #And I'm like. Writers what are u doin'. Just let me into the writers room just let me see #*grabs Breen* Mr. Breen so you know the smile MK does right. When he's reassured by his friends. (1x00 1x10 3x03) #His eyebrows go up and his expression turns from one of surprise to one of love. Yeah that smile. #Yeah. So. Was his grimace at the end of 4x12 the opposite of that #Rather than be reassured by Wukong he was disheartened. Horrified even. Breen #Mr. Breen please tell me #Please #I need to know #like that question is off topic from the post but I just. I've been thinking about it okay #imma reblog my post #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk rant #imp tag

[queer-pagan-witch]

One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes? #at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option? #i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

[hana-the-ghostieee]

hey! so um apparently bots keep following me???? assuming it's the same for everyone else

so if you're a person that's following me (why. what prompted you to make a stupid decision) and you have default... everything um maybe try changing your banner, write something in the desc (like pronouns and sexuality and stuff) and reblog a couple of stuff??? unless you'd like to get blocked. which is fine i guess (i question your motives but you do you)

#not art #but like please let me know you are a human #also recently i've seen a couple of stuff #and um siriusxremus now (and forever)* ** #actually tho does anyone know that post with the werewolf: *transforming* you have to go now! i don't want you to see me like this #human s/o: I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOUUU #werewolf: no no i'm just really dumb as a wolf and don't want you to see me bark at a mirror for two hours #i freakin saved it to like 3 boards twice on my pinterest cuz i had to it's beautiful #god i haven't read hp in a long time #and probably won't in the next 4 months #like i used the cube shelf thing where i stored the books as a junk drawer (literally. like candy wrappers) #and then like a small space for my phone to do nothing while i charge it #anyways have a nice existence or something i can't tell you what to do #okay hi im back and sometimes i wish tumblr would let you like drag tags to different areas #like can i change the order you read this??? just like i forgot to add something and i have this. literal wall of tags to go through #but you know what?? imma improvise and use stars instead #* unless the walls caved in and ate me... and i died (or you know i pass away for some reason) #** and even then my spirit will haunt this planet. and then one would randomly hear a voice. reading (assumably fluffy) wolfstar fanfics #and if/when i get reincarnated. boyyyyyyy im going to rediscover the fandom and ship them even harder

[soggyhannah]

i’ve been extensively live-blogging my one piece watch through to my friend whose been a fan forever so here’s some greatest hits

#one piece #tony tony chopper #monkey d luffy #enies lobby #skypeia #nico robin #idk how to tag this imma be real #i’m like on episode 500 but tumblr only lets you add ten photos soooo #we have channels where only we can talk in them like a running diary that’s what i’ve been using #i also like to know uhh literally everything about shows before i watch them like i actively SEEK OUT spoilers

[killjoy-prince]

Vendors at my job love me so much there's fighting amongst them in one company over who gets to deliver to my store that week

#prince's talk tag #my secret is i dont wanna deal with people any longer than i have to so i get them in and out as quickly as i can #and the vendors and drivers love that bc they got other places to be #the vendor that told me this said the other receivers will take their time and dilly dally too much leaving a line of trucks outside #but im usually on top of that #there are days where i cant help it but i go as fast as i can bc i really dont want to deal with people #and i can avoid that by taking them in check in their product sign the receipts and get them outta there #vendor also said at least with his company the dispatcher will be like 'here this store needs a delivery done' #and the vendors will go 'no im not doing that store' which will make the dispatcher go to one & say 'well its your route so you gotta do it' #and it was like that for my store before I took over #now the dispatcher will be like 'hey Prince's store needs a delivery' and the vendors are actually fighting like #'ill do it' 'no imma do it!' 'no me!' #ngl it made me happy. i didnt think i was that well liked #like some drivers have showed their appreciation to me about my speed and ability to handle the job but to have people fight over me? wow #and this was like an hour after a manager complimented how i run shit around here bc i know what im doing #and when im not here it all falls apart #which does suck bc i wish the mess wasnt left to me to clean up if im not here #but i am training someone rn who will cover for me when im not around so hopefully that helps a little

[wafflecat2]

Couldn't do my arceus cosplay this years con, so made these lil' dudes.

My mom's making the dress that is inspired by chandelure

Could be influenced by submas, but I did like the litwick line before liking submas

#you know what #imma but this on the #submas #tag cause i can #also kinda want to do Serperior inspired clothes but she deserves a full cosplay #also could've done something with sneasler/sneasels too #pokemon #earrings #diy earrings #litwick #chandelure #pokemon black and white

[saintedbythestorm]

Reminder to self:

You don't need to know if they've gotten better or worse, they were bad enough that you had to cut them out and that is all you need to know.

#hello we are self doubting today.. #i know i did the right thing to tell my toxic family that it was enough and I'm done with it #but sometimes that damn doubt creeps in. #they wouldn't even bother saying sorry to you for fucks sake. they were willing to call you useless before they said sorry. #like that is all you need to know. you didn't lose anything of value if they thought that was ok. #you do deserve to have your feelings respected and lying for 15 years isn't ok actually. #and it especially isn't okay to be abuse when someone gets upset you lied for them for 15 years. i shouldn't even have to say that. #wait this is working. hm... well maybe I'll leave it here anyway #maybe one of you need one of those tags too. 🤷‍♀️ #you're worthy of love and respect and to be treated with kindness. you're allowed to feel what you feel. #yes despite what some bitch said - idgaf what they said. they were wrong ok. #and extra points for it being a damn parent. they bloody chose to have a kid so step tf up #it is NOT fucking selfish to want to speak with a parent alone for 10 minutes omfg. #it is also perfectly normal for a kid... well anyone really but extra for kid.. to not always be able to control their emotions #remember that it was YOU who called to try to resolve the fight - and all you had done was be upset cause they lied #and told you gruesome details about an animals death while laughing. yes that was extra fucked. #so no don't you damn doubt yourself. there ain't no openings for interpretation on this #and remember... you were a kid throughout like 90% of this shit. You shouldn't be the adult. #ok done spitting facts imma play stray bye #rant #ryder speaking

[silverduckie]

Some of y'all know what people are trying to do here is genuinely as simple as "respect what celebs say about their identity and don't be a cunt" right? Like correct me if I'm wrong I've had the rpt tags blocked since September but... isn't that all everyone's been doing this whole damn time?

#i'm not tagging this but feel free to reblog lol i just ??? #look we have discussed my absolute hatred of ethnicelebs and everyone who works on that site before so we know... I do think people go to #far and like legit if you're listing %s... that's weirdly invasive imma block but I haven't seen anyone do that in ages? #like um... respecting people's identity (while also respecting their privacy) is the bare minimum you can do for any human being #like googling what someone said about their own ethnicity is like 5 seconds and polite before using them as a fc pls

[mybiasisexo]

If I want to write the same plot in different fonts who the hell gon stop me????

#thinking about how every chanyeol fic idea I have is just verboten with a twist #ie entangles lmao #chanyeol and you have chemistry #but he’s connected to a friend of yours #boohoo you #and you know what??? #imma eat it every time!!! 😂😂 #also all my jongin fic ideas 😭 #best friends that secretly love each other and/or he’s emotionally unavailable #like girl I have fic types for these boys #mine #tags

[erosire]

quick idea/brainrot i just had bc i got side tracked while writing the main thing:

viktor has a thing for your touch, use this to your advantage to ground him. if he's caught up in his work; so far gone as to miss a meal or two, maybe even a day of sleep as well, put your hand on his shoulder and watch as he turns to you. utterly exhausted with bags under his eyes and looking as pale as a ghost. tell him it's time to rest. use your free hand to meet one of his, gently guide it to the table so he puts the tool down. of course he'll find some way to protest; say this is an important project, there's simply no time to rest when piltover depends on him and his work—or more realistically, it's jayce whos depending on him.

"You have time for all that," you remind him. he'll shake his head and you'll stop it by holding his face, forcing him to stare down into your eyes. "viktor," your voice is soft and sweet but stern, thumbs caressing his cheeks as you continue, "please, let me take you home." it'll take a minute, maybe up to three, for him to reach up to your hands; letting the cold palms of his cup the warm backs of yours as he leans into them, heavy eyes falling shut, he mutters a quiet "okay."

excuse me i haf. i have to. UM!!!!! i have to go take a lil jog around the block b ecause what the fuck what in the actual fuck

#this is. not a good time to be listening to angel olsen #the image of him looking up at me with those dark bags under his eyes is too much....what have you done #if he isn't in my dreams tonight imma kms #ALSO WDYM 'THE MAIN THING' 😃 #ARE YOU SAYING THERE'S MORE?????? #you're really trying to be my undoing huh. fucker #don't let that fool u tho i love this with all of me. i will lick up every crumb you give me god damnit #AND THE t eh THE 'let me take you home' that's so intimate you don't even know. like yeah i'm taking you home because that's OUR place #you can climb into bed w me anytime viktor baby what's mine is yours idc IDC #dona how do you keep doing this...like do u know what ur writing does to me. i'm going to throw up but in a good way #RRGHJHHHJ okok im. lemme shut up before i have another essay in the tags