#also whats with me acting like I’m soooo isolated because of that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seoafin · 11 months

Note

imma be honest with you chapter four was probably my favorite chapter of anything ive ever read ever. you wrote magic that was sooooooo insane. i especially just loved how you wrote ripmc battling with her feelings over betraying or possibly ending such a long term friendship and relationship. the way she isolated herself and then tried sneaking around to not bump into geto…..oh lord it just made me salivate sadistically for when he would eventually pop up. and u fucking delivered truth be told i’m a gojo girlie through and through but when u write geto….u fucking write geto because holy. shit. your characterization of geto is probabaly my favorite thing i’ve seen ever. i’ve found good fics of before he dejected and after but never a middle ground of his best and worst characteristics all merged into one. you projected such distinct feelings when they were talking and geto closed the door…….i was scared horny nervous embarrassed ashamed like u do not understand i cried while he was going down on her😭😭 and the only reason why i can freely admit this is cause i’m on anon. it’s just like holy shit man your geto is soooo scary and hot😭 the way he had this certain jensequa this chapter like it felt like ripmc was exposed raw and he was looking through her. it felt like when you go up to tell a parent you ate from the cookie jar and they already know. it feels like he knows her better than she knows herself. “i kissed satoru” “i see” was so insane i was so nervous for ripmc cause it felt like such a vulnerable exchange like confessing to a priest all your darkest sins but he already knowns. it felt so intimate especially knowing that satoru and suguru share everything so he most likely already knew. it felt so. fucking. intimate. I CRIED especially cause suguru coming in and closeing the door the way you described that sequence alone was so claustrophobia inducing it was crazy my heart was beating out of my chest. and then the “How?” is sooooo hot don’t get me wrong the eating pussy scene was hot but everything that you wrote leading up to it and everything else he said during it and after. The. Dialogue👏🏻👏🏻 had me screaming. ur crazy. him pressing on your wound and asking if it was from satoru my pussy was having palpitations i thought i was gonna have to call 911. i think he wasn’t so against seeing that on ripmc i wonder what he would say to gojo wanting to get her a leash and collar🙈🙈🙈 he was so deliciously sweet and tender and so suffocating and intoxicating at the same time it cause my body to have a physical reaction like my heart ached made me wanna rip it from my chest and send it to you over mail!!! saying he wants to help you asking if anybodys been down there before knowing damn well he knows the answer he just wanted ripmc to say it. i hate him so much lord why isn’t he real. you know i read the first note where you left an obligatory geto warning and i was shocked cause i know u usually reserve those for gojo but holy fuck i had no idea how much of geto you would let him act out. bro had that dawg in him damn. the way you write him as the perfect balance of condecendingly sweet and tender and terrifyingly suffocating

while reading it felt like it was just you and geto and it made me understand how his ass started a cult. it’s funny considering gojo is the one with the six eyes and geto is the one i feel has such an insane ability to rip your safety blanket off and force such raw vulnerability from you. it’s cause i feel like he has such patience but when you fucked up you fucked up. it’s like the terror of disappointing a parent but you made it sexy? with gojo is more like he sees you and he understand you intimately but it’s also not like that matters much to him. because he wants what he wants. spoiled brat😭😭this is getting beyond creepy this paragraph is too long for me to seem even remotely normal but i must get this out!!! also geto in the end post munching asking you to tell him about your lil friend because he’s no longer insecure about the nature of your relationship he’s decided now and there’s no turning back woah……that was insanly hot and when ripmc asked him to get along and n u made his ass say “no i don’t think i will” i shit myself because not even gege could’ve come up with a most perfect geto response. like that sentence alone was SO SO geto it made me so sick like no i don’t think i will no i don’t think i will no i don’t think i will WITH A SMILE on his face you are soooo evil……i’m a gojo girlie why r u doing this to me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 please i’m super sane don’t think i’m crazy off this message. also if it’s not too much trouble i don’t want this to come across as like i don’t appreciate the time you put into your stories or seem like i’m disregarding the fact that there’s a human being behind the screen and not fucking chat gpt and u deserve to rest!!! but i was wondering if u perhaps knew what turn the next chapter would take like the vibes for the next chapter?🙈🙈 AND IF U HAVENT EVEN BEGUN TO THINK ABOUT THEM THATS PERFECT TOO DONT EVEN WORRY im sorry im a child who grew up on old 2000s anime that after every episode would give u a preview for the next one i have so lil self preservation n patience😭😭😭😭 if not please ignore i even asked! i was also curious about when you mentioned geto spoiled gojo🙈🙈 in what way particularly cause i found that so interesting considering gojo is the richer of the too even tho geto is the most mature i would love to know what geto offered gojo that contributes as spoiling🤭🤭 that’s it i’ll take my leave it’s like 5 am and i just wanted to type this up before going to sleep! and ps congrats on that japan trip!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH god GODDDD i have so much to say so i'll put it under a read more

first of all THANK YOU FOR READING AND SENDING ME THIS it was such a pleasant amazing thing to wake up to i want to frame it and put it on my wall LOL but yes!!! this was probably one of my favorite chapters of this fic and one of the best things i've ever written for geto. okay ALSO ALSO let me just say that i love geto's duality so so so so so much. there's nothing better than a man who struggles between crazy delusion and sanity/moral responsibility and constraints/repression and to me geto is someone who embodies that. i think it's so fun trying to not only imagine geto in a world he didn't defect but characterize him. he is the jade that cracked too early!!!! he left before he could fully unlock his potential and we know from the kenjaku/yuki fight geto would've been an MENACE had he stayed (with gojo). i really think his two extremes and his potential make him soooo fascinating and trying to come up with ways to keep his grounded is just another great thing about writing this fic. i like to think he often reminds himself of ripmc's goodness and that makes him want to be a little bit better. if not for him but for her. he thinks about the kids the nice lady who owns the supermarket right in front of the kids' school and gives them free popsicles, the people who have thanked him for saving them, all the small things to remind himself it's worth it. like don't get me wrong i love his cringe girl failboss cult era too!!!!! but something about geto as the person he COULD'VE been. all his flaws and misgivings and condescension wrapped up into a less moral person still trying to do the right thing. still trying to undertake that responsibility despite it. AHHHHHH

i think the most interesting thing about writing that scene was writing it from ripmc's part. i definitely thought the audience was going to catch on pretty quick that gojo already told geto (why wouldn't he) and geto already knows. so basically you're reading from the POV of someone who is oblivious while ALSO knowing that geto probably already knows everything. i just think it adds an extra dimension to the scene and all of geto's dialogues and action. he was definitely hesitating on coming on too strongly and struggling with the morality of not letting ripmc experience things(tm) before taking everything. and obviously gojo doesn't understand it so gojo makes the decision for the both of them. there's no going back anymore!

SPOILERS FOR NEXT CHAP!

also to answer your questions!!!!! the next couple of chapters is like....the fall out of everything. but there's not really a fallout ripmc thinks the world is ending but it's just her LMAO they come to a resolution in the next 1-2 chapters and that's when their relationship kinda transforms into a fwb relationship because it's the only way ripmc can wrap her head around starting a sexual relationship with them. she actually agrees to it super quickly and gojo is like be fr rn WHAT. girlie needs to free herself from the prison of compartmentalizing everything! the next nsfw scene is gojo getting a blowjob and nearly blowing his load too early though i will say. if you thought geto's dialogue was crazy in this chapter just wait for that scene because that man is even more unfiltered than geto and more willing to say whatever it is on his mind. the two of them r truly menaces 😭😭😭😭😭

as for your second question i say geto spoils gojo by letting him get away with a little too much. geto is the one usually reigning gojo in but i do think geto is also somewhat emotionally indulgent with him at times. you know....gojo does or says something rude, he's being dismissive, he does a little more property damage than he should've. geto sighs gives him a kiss and lightly tells him not to do it again bc sometimes lecturing gojo gets kinda old. sometimes, it really isn't that big of a deal. which i think marks a very important turn or shift in geto's priorities as he gets older. less formed around morality more centered around gojo n ripmc n the kids....

once again AHHHHHH thank you for sending this in writing this fic has been the most arduous task of my ff writer era bc i've never written a multi chaptered fic before this but i am writing this for you and for every other person who has been reading/commenting!!!!!!

#hehe once again this was so great to wake up to!!!!!!#i would kill a man for you anon #love slowly converting the gojo girlies and making them see the light.....#im sorry in response to this i RAMBLED #lmao as for ur collar question gojo buys the collar geto convinces you to wear it. team work is the dream work.#long post #ddao.fb

36 notes · View notes

anxiously-kk · 6 months

Text

ok so i’m about to be reflective and rambly about some of my thoughts on the season so im putting it under a read more incase you want to skip because it is soooo long omg

ok so a lot of criticism on this season has been about The Flip™️ and how it ruined both corys game and the season. but i don’t think it’s that simple. to me there are many moments and choices that get made that helped build into the situation we are in now. flipping the vote on reilly week two which gave matt a huge chip on his shoulder and a wild vendetta against those who wronged her leading him to base so many moves on what she would want. was it good for cirie and izzy at the time i think it was but it did have long term consequences. you could also say that hisam telling his alliance they had to get matt out next but them flipping on hisam instead plus cirie green lighting matt saving jag(this isn’t all on her but she said she regrets not trying to stop him harder so i added it) lead to them forming a super tight bond that has helped them run the back half of the game. you could say leaving cameron (and bowie to an extent) out of the red blindside turning cams focus onto the ladies was unnecessary and it would have been better to include them. maybe that was the smarter play cause cam would have tried to stop it or maybe it made an unnecessary enemy. Maybe if meme hadn’t also been left out of that blindside till the last second cory wouldn’t have been able to get her to go along with the flip.

now in regards to the flip in question by this point that early core group had flipped (and blindsided) their alliance members more than once and cirie told matt she played path to power but not cory which eventually got back to him gave cory a reasonable opinion that they didn’t trust him and could cut him easily just like hisam and red. when you add that info to the fact that jared was acting like a total fool and on some extreme anti-cory shit that week plus izzy saying point blank america needs to go asap i wouldnt have felt secure with them either. now let’s be honest should have flipped that vote at that time even with all that info most likely not in my opinion because izzy at least liked him and was working with him while felicia could never let go of the belief that he was untrustworthy and that hurt him down the road. but would that have got him much further in the game? and would it have stopped the matt nag show? that’s hard to say because you can’t change one variable and assume every other event stays the same you know? like if izzy stayed but cory grew closer to america would they have gotten sketched and cut him earlier, or if he decided to ditch america would she have felt like she couldn’t trust cory and tried to turn people against him, if the blow up didn’t happen that week jared probably wouldn’t have been evicted that same night, so who would have gone in his place and how would that impact the game, if two people who were evicted didn’t have a whole week to chill in the house and put the game on pause would it not have given jatt time to set themselves up as the power structure or would cory have been able to keep momentum going and put together a solid group? instead? so i do think they should have taken out felicia that week probably but i don’t think doing so guarantees better results. i think its physics that’s like every action has an equal and opposite reaction and that’s true here too. this is a living game where people react to what is happening around them. every choice someone makes builds on each other any of those moments that i mentioned could have the right move or they could have backfired but they don’t exist in a vacuum you can’t isolate them from each other because one scenario only exists because of a choice someone else made

#bb25 #i am in no way saying i’m totally correct i could be so off #but that’s how i see it #and anticipating reactions is part of the game but you can’t ever be totally sure how someone will react you can only go with a best guess #omg this is so long if you read it all and it made sense to you you’re an icon #because it’s literally just a stream of consciousness idek if it’s punctuated well #i did try harder than normal to make real sentences though haha

12 notes · View notes

mambalae-s · 11 months

Note

hi hi mamba, i want to start this off with a congrats and a thank you so much for putting in the work and the energy to do this event. i really appreciate it so much and i'm so so proud of you. you're doing wonderful, darling !

for your event, i actually can't decide myself so i'm going to give you the choice to pick for me between toji and satoru from jjk - (i really really hope you're not indecisive and are able to work well under pressure ! but you can let me know if you need me to choose one);

this might need a bit of a trigger warning, but something i'm still learning to love about myself is my weight and my body. i kinda struggle with my eating habits a little bit sometimes and i won't go into detail but it's something that i'm working on :)

as far as my personality goes, i would describe myself as someone who speaks her mind and usually doesn't hold back from doing so (mostly bc i think honesty is the best policy in any kind of relationship). and um this might be kind of contradicting, but at the same time i also isolate myself from loved ones when i'm feeling down or pressured and keep everything to myself bc i don't like arguing/conflict. my friends describe me as having a sarcastic sense of humour and say that i roll my eyes a lot but they also think i'm very very sweet because i flirt with them often just for fun hehe. i'm mostly an introvert because i need to have my alone time but when i'm feeling charged then i'm able to make friends very very quickly. and my dad says it's because i'm empathetic and always know what to say when it comes to ppl hehe. (ahh this is getting too long... i just love talking about myself. i'll try wrapping it up quickly!) some other things you should know about me: i'm a hopeless romantic, don't like horror, am a total daydreamer, i write romance, fanfiction, and poetry, pink is my favourite colour, i'm a lipgloss/lipstick addict (and collect them for fun even when i don't need them), spring is my favourite season, my love language is physical touch, i'm an infp, and if it's important for the moodboard i'm south asian!

let's keep this sfw for ease, so i'll end it by describing my dream date with both men. you can then choose which one you'll do!

1. i know satoru's really really tall, but i just picture toji being taller and bigger in my head so i have this headcanon that i'm like half his size (for reference, i'm 5'3-ish) and in my head we are just grumpy x sunshine couple all the way. dream date with toji would be us going to the amusement park (my fav place on earth) and just being kids tbh. i'd force him to wear cutesy animal headbands and ride the rollercoaster and the ferris wheel with me and we'd stand in long long lines just talking and he would probably whine and complain about everything but he'd put up with it for me (also i'd probably manipulate him with my big eyes and my own bratty attitude ^^)

2. with satoru, i feel like since he's pretty childish in a relationship, i'd definitely act more bossy/mature with him as a result. (he'd look so pretty taking orders, wouldn't he?) dream date with satoru would just be a stay at home date. we'd start off by cooking dinner and dessert together, then have a spa night, and end it by doing a disney movie marathon together. he's so money i just have the urge to show him that we can do things without spending so much or going out to fancy restaurants and stuff.

anyway, i'm sorry for making this so long. as you can tell, i'm a talker. i'll leave the choice up to you for which boy to pick, but i just want to say thank you in advance. i love u sm mamba. congrats again baby doll <33

my beloved safi!! my dearest angel!! i’m so so soooo excited to do your request!! genuinely kicked my feet and did a little dancy dance when i saw your ask and i started searching for your pics as early as 4am before work! as soon as you mentioned sunshine x grumpy, you’d gotten me on team toji! im gonna make the prettiest, cutest, sweetest boards and scenarios for you, because you truly are as bright as the sun and you deserve the world! hugging you sooooo warmly!

also please don’t feel bad for telling me as much as you did!’ it makes me happy to learn about you all during these little events!

╰┈➤ cherry blossom lips — safi x toji

╰┈➤ song — pov by ariana grande

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 one of the first things that really drew toji to you was your smile. he finds the way your eyes light up and crinkle ever so slightly ever so enchanting. he’s so entirely enraptured, you have no idea just how much!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i’ve said this for others as well, but toji’s also the kind of lover who is very attentive to you and your likes. i also think that he spoils you quite a bit! he’ll take note of your collection of lipglosses and lipsticks and whenever he’s out, he always keeps his eyes open for ones that he thinks you’ll like.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 if you only ask him once, he’ll help you pick out a lovely combination for your days and contemplates very intensely on what look he thinks would work well! he’s very involved surprisingly and loves to see the way you switch things up every now and then, and finds it really cute when you keep returning to favourites time and time again.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i also think he’d be very playful and loves to kiss your glossy lips, if only to taste the sweet flavours as he licks the tint from his own lips, keeping his eyes locked on yours with your chin between his fingers as he tells you how sweet you taste.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s very perceptive to you and your feelings and always looks out for you as best as he can. he knows just how much you care for others around him, and him especially, always making sure that he’s alright, asking him about his day and of anything that he may have on his mind.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he might not be very vocal about it, but his way of reassuring you is at first to pull you in for a long hug. he rests his chin on top of your head and just holds you close to him, hands stroking your back and waist and taking slow, deep breaths so that you’ll follow his lead. especially during moments when he notices you quietly hurting, he’ll always mutter loving reassurances that he’s here for you, and that you don’t have to push yourself to talk to him until you’re ready — just know that he’s there for you

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he also knows how much you try to show yourself love, especially when it comes to your body. toji can tell whenever you’re having a hard time showing yourself the love he feels for you, and his way of reminding you of that love is by initiating physical contact in very intimate ways!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 not intimate as in sexual, but he’ll lay down with you and shower your entire body with kisses, reaching beneath your clothes with his fingers and taking his time to let each kiss linger, with little whispers of everything he loves, every part of you that you’re still learning to love on yourself. like i said, he’s extremely intentional, so know that all of those kisses and light touches are overflowing with love he feels deep inside his heart, because he’ll be there to love you until — and even after — you’ve fully grown to love yourself the way he does

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when you ask him one day to visit an amusement park with you, he doesn’t think twice about saying yes! sure, he might act like he has zero interest in wearing those cute headbands with you, but he’d do anything just to make you happy!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 sure, he’ll say that it won’t look good on him and that it’ll make him look silly, but how can he say no to those pleading eyes and pouty lips of yours? in the end, he’ll let you stuff his mouth full of cotton candy and grumble as you set cute mickey mouse ears atop his head — and don’t tell anyone, but he melts like putty at the way you light up and boop his nose, a little red faced as you tell him how cute he looks

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’ll even match with you to wear pink themed outfits! if it’s a colder time of the year when you both go, he’ll buy you both pink lilo onesies ahead of time so that you can wear them together! absolutely loves the pictures you both take and sets them as your contact photo, his wallpaper, all so that he can see the way you smile at the camera while his soft gaze is trained on you

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 now this is a secret, but toji gets a little squeamish in high places, so he’s a little nervous at first about going on the roller coasters and ferris wheels, but it’s all so worth it as he gets to hear your joyful squeals and laughter, watching your eyes crinkle as you belt out all these happy noises. the fact that you’re enjoying yourself makes him all the more pleased and he takes his own enjoyment purely from you.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he knows how you love the romantic things in life, so he takes you to the biggest ferris wheel in the park at night when all the lights shine like colourful stars. he wraps his arm around you and admires you admiring the scene around you, leaning into his embrace and just taking in the moment. he can’t stop himself from thinking just how precious you are to him, how much he loves you, and would absolutely tear the world apart to keep you safe.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when your cart reaches the highest point of the ride, he lets himself go and pulls you in for a sweet kiss, letting it last for seconds that feel like years and mere moments to him as he drinks you in for all that you are, pouring into you every poem he’s secretly written in his heart for you. he whispers to you how much you love him, “until the end of time, safi… i’ll always love you, even after then.”

mamba celebrates 100 followers — jjk and haikyuu selfship event!

#olympia.#jjk x reader #jjk imagine #jjk selfship #jjk fluff #ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ safi!#i adore you safi!#you deserve the whole world and all its joys!

16 notes · View notes

ruminate88 · 3 months

Text

Physical Problems After Emotional Abuse? 😐

When you’re in a relationship of any type that requires you to “walk on eggshells” because you’re afraid to upset the person, your whole nervous system freezes trying to go into protection mode. 😨

You’re in so much isolation and you’re consistently upset/confused. My ex Andrew would disappear for 2/3 days leaving me sooooo hurt but then he would randomly show back up and be all over me acting so obsessed and he would promise me a future together. In my attempts not to make him “leave again” I would work hard at pleasing him and giving him everything he wanted even if it was against my beliefs or if it caused me to disrespect my own self. I made myself so dirty and trashy for him all in the name of “love”…. You’re so upset constantly at the lack of respect and support!! Some days I just couldn’t eat but I couldn’t lose any weight either!!!! 😲 (I was at 127 lbs. the whole relationship with Andrew and I went to the gym 3 days a week) I also sometimes struggled to use the bathroom didn’t know why but didn’t always eat and I lived off of Mountain Dew I didn’t always sleep well!! I was too upset all the time I cried a looooot.

Years later after I’m moved on and even married, I am safe and able to eat freely so I gain weight and I’m now up to 133 lbs. THEN covid happens and that was like the icing on the cake… more isolation! More “walking on eggshells” cuz the world was scared of covid and defensive if you didn’t wear your mask or stay “no contact”. It was the coldest place to be in!!!! (We all felt it)

My health finally gave way and I noticed things about me I hadn’t before!!! I saw how I had been losing soooo much hair and I randomly started to have burning in my esophagus! 🔥🔥🔥 It felt like a campfire that continuously burned no matter what I did and I couldn’t eat anything for weeks!! I had no rest at all! RANDOMLY I lost over 25 lbs. and then I was down to 106 lbs. 😳😳😳 So scary! No one knew what was wrong with me and I tried to see a dr. But they only wanted to talk about “covid”…. 😩 I was so desperate for help!! I begged God to make the burning stop!!!

Now in 2024, I’m at 107.4 lbs and I’ve learned what foods are harder to “digest” and what foods causes a lot of indigestion. I pray everyday to be healthy, I take a women’s multi-vitamin and I don’t over eat but I don’t deprive myself from having junk food once in awhile or desert. Just in moderation and listen closely to what your stomach tells you. Some days I can enjoy coffee freely and some days my stomach is too nauseous! (Sex also sometimes makes me nauseous or gives me indigestion)

As far as my hair: Argon oil and Rosemary oil together only massaged on the scalp, leave it in for at least 10 minutes or so and then wash out with a good shampoo that has tea tree oil or argon oil. Try to deal with stress better cuz too much stress makes you lose hair and find something with bitoten in it and take daily but at least once a month take a break for 1 week then start back up so your body continues to be receptive to it!

Make sure you’re eating greens such as: spinach and broccoli 👍🏻 I noticed my gut health became very poor after the abuse and it takes longer for my stomach to digest food and then it’s sometimes hard be able to use the bathroom properly (T.M.I I know sorry!!!) also you can drink Metamucil that’s great stuff and so is cranberry juice!!! 🥤

I am still learning and praying for my health everyday and some days I eat better and other days i make bad choices and eat the wrong foods. Cheese is the worst on your digestive 🥺🥺🥺 (I loooove cheese hah) BE WELL AND HEAL DAILY IN THE NAME OF JESUS ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

3 notes · View notes

lucysweatslove · 4 months

Text

General life/school/personal updates. Under a readmore because some touchy subjects.

I finished my second term of med school on Friday!! Very pleased it’s over. I stand by what I’ve said early on- med school has a funny way of taking something you are actually interested in and turning it soooo dry and boring that you’d be happy to never see it again. Material comes at you so fast. I can keep up with what they’re asking, but I can’t deep dive into every topic or subject the way I’d like to. This makes it super boring for me.

I’m a horrible student. Like, I’m doing better than average, so I’m not a horrible student in that regard, but I’m putting forth very little effort. I think this block, I averaged maybe 3 hrs/week outside of the required class sessions. I feel like this comes across as bragging, which I don’t mean to do… talking about it at all feels like there’s now way to win. People get upset when you lie about it (eg act like you’re studying more than you really are), but they also get upset when you’re honest? Idk.

Which also, school in general… so there are focus issues happening (I was unmedicated for a while), and I’ve been having more sensory issues, too. Like needing sunglasses in class, having trouble because everybody is so loud but if I put in earplugs I can’t hear relevant material… People know I’m autistic, and they will see me use tools to accommodate myself. But they won’t actually accommodate me, outside of when I sometimes ask for lights to be turned down during some discussions or lectures (and then proceed to laugh when I visibly jolt and cover my eyes when the lights are turned back on without warning). It’s hard to tell people to turn their voices down twenty notches. It’s easier to just remove myself from the situation entirely. And tbh, I don’t know that I feel safe with my classmates in general. Not that my physical safety is ever in question (I know so many across the world are in physical danger), but that I don’t feel like I belong, that I’m respected, valued, and wanted. It’s lonely and isolating.

I’m also having some body issues as of late. I haven’t been to the gym since school started, which is mostly just because of timing issues. I’ve put on a little more weight, and while that’s not USUALLY a problem, I’m having a hard time navigating it again. When I’m in class or doing something clinical, I’m very aware that I’m being perceived. It’s not just me- it’s my body. Im seen first and foremost as a body with a gender. Im a feminine person, always identified as a woman by others, but my body is fat in a not socially accepted way. The only way to have my body be more socially accepted is to play into the femininity, which I don’t mind in and of itself, but others see femininity as a mark of womanhood rather than just being a general aesthetic… so when I play into femininity to avoid being treated as poorly, im even more gendered. If I try doing anything/dressing more masculine, it doesn’t “cancel out” into neutral. It adds- a slightly more masculine fat woman, still very far from hat “ideas.” Honestly it hasn’t been terrible just performing womanhood, but I miss the days where I was “kid in the pink jacket” and not “fat woman” with all these judgments.

So anyway, I want to start working out again because I know it’s better for my health, but I would be lying if I said I also didn’t desperately wish I had my old body back that was just feminine enough to play into it when I wanted but mostly wasn’t seen as anything major by anybody. The body I had when people just saw my ideas and mind and not a gender or a body shape. When I didn’t have to play into a gender to have my body accepted by society…

Which means that if i did start going back to the gym, my brain will start linking automatically and there is a high chance that i will be using gym not to be healthier but to influence my body which can easily devolve into exercise purging and disordered eating.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if this is how some alcoholics feel. Any small amount of diet-y behavior, like even a sip of alcohol, can trigger relapse. But even non-dieting “diet adjacent” behaviors can do it too. Anything tangentially related could trigger it. Going back the gym, while not inherently dangerous for most people, is so heavily associated with body control, weight loss, calorie counting, exercise purging, etc, that my mind can easily jump back into ED land when I engage in it.

So… yeah. A lot to think about lately. Glad I have a couple weeks off school at least.

#personal

2 notes · View notes

onyxolay · 2 years

Text

A story where Made by me and @sofimoon27 where Lucas gets fucking rabies- I came with this idea of out of fucking no where this morning soooo Yeah enjoy the Chaos!

The day had been an awful one, Nobody could get stuff done and Lucas, of the outcasts, had been acting weirder than normal. He was constantly itching and having headaches and Nausea. Archie of course was the first to notice, “Papa..? Are you okAY-“ Lucas, Startled by Archie Tried to bite him, it was an uncontrollable action. Once he realized what he had done he Immediately tried to hold Archie and Apologize, But Archie ran out of the room. Later in the day Chase, Blair and Lucas were all Hunting for things they needed to repair some parts of the base; When Chase Noticed Lucas excessively Drooling and he staggered As he walked. Chase asked: “uhhh boss? Are you okay-“ “I'M FINE!” The wolf whipped around and yelled, Chase flinched back, it used to his leader that he adored so much snapping at him. “I…sorry..” “it’s alright…” Blair piped in: “Lucas hun are you sure you okay..?” “I’m fine B…” “if you say so…”

Later at the base Lucas walks into the living room where multiple people were and Started to get immediately over stimulated by the lights, (this in it of itself is odd behavior for him because he’s the Demi-god of The light and the Zodiac sign Gemini) Lucas covered his eyes and ran out to his room. Archie Walked to his room later and knocked on the door. He asked: “Papa! Are you okay?” “I-I’m Fine darlin! Papas okay! Just- A little- Off his rocker today okay?” “U-Um okay..Is there any way I can help?” “I appreciate you wanting to help me Archie but I can take care of this myself okay?” “Okay papa, Cya!” “Cya lit-len!” Lucas went a few days without exhibiting any weird/off behavior so everyone thought he was okay again, But ohhhh boy did things get worse…

Moony came by for a visit, as she often did. As she flew down the mineshaft's entrance, she could immediately tell something was very wrong. Usually, her brother tackled her with a hug as she came out, but this time, he didn't. She followed the sound of worried people, arriving at Lucas's door, where the group stood.

"What's going on?" She asks, the attention all immediately turning to her. "Where's Lu?"

"He hasn't come out of his room in days! Not to eat, nothing! And we can't get in!"

Moony looked inside the room, yep, he was in there, she could sense it. He seemed very down however, that much she could tell. Being his sister, and also the overpowered being she was, she was able to unlock the door.

This, brought a reaction from the wolf.

He jolted from the bed, glaring at whoever entered his territory and growled: "I TOLD NO ONE COMES IN!!!"

"Lucas, it's me. It's Moony!" She tried to de-escalate. "What's going on? You rarely isolate yourself like this!"

"GET OUT! IM FINE!" He was foaming from the mouth, angry, but also clearly in pain. "GET OUT!! GET OUT NOW!!"

"Lucas, stay still please?" Moony used her health vision. As she did, she realized what was wrong. "... Lucas... What the fuck..."

"What?! What's wrong with him?!" Archie worriedly asks her.

She sighs, holding back a chuckle. "He's got rabies..."

Calvin Picks up Archie and looks at Moony, “he has WHAT?!” “Yeah sadly…but I Believe it can be cured, Can it?” “Well I mean…there’s no effective treatment..” Chase Said.

"When there's the relative of a reality goddess in the room, there's an easier way!" She stated proudly, reaching into her hoodie pocket and pulling out a small medical kit, but inside there were several liquids and strange herbs. "Oookay! So. The good part is, there's a cure! So mister grumpy-pantd over there..." Lucas growled at the nickname. "Will feel better and not get rabies anymore. The bad and likely to be annoying part is that we'll have to give him a shot."

Moony pulls the potion/medicine she had prepared into the syringe, at the sight of the instrument, Lucas instantly has his hairs raise.

"FUCK OFF WITH THAT!! NO WAY!! IM FINE!!"

"Lucas, you're not. You're dehydrated and can't swallow and you look and feel miserable. I have max empathy. I can literally feel it." Moony shoots back.

“GET THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME!!!” Lucas had tears well up in his eyes, He hated needles and most people on the room knew why. “Please little brother.. It will make you feel better I promise-“ “NO! THE LAST TIME I LET SOMEONE GIVE ME A SHOT I TUNRED INTO A MONSTER!!” Lucas jumped to the corner off the ceiling, He was drooling and foaming at the mouth more by now and it was dripping to the floor. “Papa please..!” Archie pleaded, “Just take it! It won’t change u in any way! It will just get those awful rabies out of you…!” Calvin chimed in: “Plus you’ve been snapping at people! What would you do if you snapped at Archie and hurt him huh?” Lucas’s Ears Went down. “Exactly! You don’t like that idea do ya?! Just take it Lucas please just take it!” Calvin was obviously getting impatient, “Love, How about you go to our room? You seem to be getting a little agitated.” Calvin sighed; “fine..but if he snaps you tell me…” Calvin then sat Archie down and left…

Moony approached her little brother, passing the syringe to Dakai. "I know it scares you Lu, I do! But it's *me* who's doing it, and I swear it will not hurt you! Just a small sting and bam! Over! You won't be feeling bad anymore and you won't risk hurting anyone on accident anymore!"

She crouches right in front of him, holding her hand out. "Come on. Do you trust me?"

Lucas was hesitant, People always betrayed him in the past, That was something he knew and knew well, But this was his sister talking. “Y-yes sissy…” Lucas slowly floats down and onto his bed, Archie holds his hand As Dakai puts the shot in him, Lucas roared and it took everything in him not to punch someone, Soon it was over though And he felt tired and a little dizzy. “Are you better now papa..?” “I-I think so darlin…” Archie smiled a hugged Lucas, Snuggling up to his side. Lucas happily hugged him back.

Chase sighs in relief, “Glad that’s over” “same here, let’s just hope it stays like this.” Blair added. Izzy chimed in, “yeah, Come on guys it’s dinner time, I’ll cook!”

Moony pat her brother head, "good job little brother! You did so so good! I'm so proud of you!"

"Yeah! Good one Lu!" Dakai also congrats, packing the syringe away to be thrown out.

"Okay, now, you gotta rest for a little. Here, drink this, you should be able to now." She hands him a bottle of water, the sines of it looking like little crescent moons. "It's moonwater! I enchant it to heal!"

He takes it and pretty much chugs it till there's nothing left, then he yawns, leaning down and falling asleep. Moony covers him gently with his favorite blanket, putting a few of his comfort plushies near, which he was quick to cuddle with. She brushed his hair from his face, cleaning his mouth gently from the dried spit. Then kisses his forehead.

Dakai heads out to get dinner, meanwhile Moony sits on a beanbag chair and pulls out a book to read.

She'd be there when he woke up.

She always is.

#minecraft #minecraft au #archie #au #minecraft dungeons #arch illager #rise of the arch illager #lucasolay #outcasts #onshot #rabies

8 notes · View notes

mermaidsirennikita · 10 months

Note

Have you read anything by Kylie Scott? I just finished the first book in her Stage Dive series and although I initially thought it was fun I ended up absolutely hating it. I’m trying to decide if the other books are worth reading. I read and fell in love with the VIP series by Kristen Callihan after you posted about enjoying them. I thought maybe Stage Dive would be a fun follow up but now I’m not sure.

I love Kylie Scott overall, though I did just finish her Dive Bar trilogy and it wasn't my favorite... To be fair, it's basically a small town romance thing, and those are always hard sells for me. I did enjoy End of Story quite a bit, and Stage Dive is actually a favorite series of mine.

I actually prefer Stage Dive to VIP, largely because while I looove Managed and Fall and super enjoy Exposed, I did not like Idol…. At all. So I have to take it down a notch there.

But for a Stage Dive breakdown...To be honest, I gave Lick a 4/5 but I wouldn’t say it was especially memorable to me. I largely remember the one rough sex scene, the general setup, and Jimmy Ferris: The Early Days. The issue with David is that he's honestly a pretty sanctimonious hero, and he has a very classic "first hero syndrome", where you can tell that Kylie had a MUCH stronger idea of what the next few heroes were like, but she wanted to ease you into the world. He has the least personality , his story is the least impressive.

I think that the second book (Play) is better if you are up for a kind of unusual m/f ship with a manic pixie dream guy (but not really because he’s actually got some tough shit to deal with). Mal definitely has ADHD, whether or not the book makes it explicit (can't remember) and his hyperactivity is a lot for me in other people's books, but his dynamic with the heroine made it work for me here. It's when he gets serious with her that you're like "oh, he's in LOVE".

Lead (Jimmy's book) is my favorite in the series, in part because Jimmy is SOOOO bad in Lick, and you really get this very sort of closed off guy at first in his own book. Reading Lick first does help with context, imo, because you know how bad off he was. But the arc of emotional intimacy he has with Lena is super beautiful. They have one of my favorite kissing scenes I've read in romance, AND! One of the greatest "let's just do it once to get it out of our systems" followed by the hero having an existential crisis I've ever read. Jimmy's emotional issues--his rigidness with his routine, the way he isolates from his friends and family, his guilt and shame--also read very similarly to those of recovering addicts I've known, too. I don't know, I found his book super lovely. And I should add--Lena is for sure my favorite heroine of the series. Tough and hard-nosed and also just, sadly, completely smitten with her boss, who is her friend, for whom she's supposed to act as a sober companion. MESS.

Deep is also really good, I love it almost as much as Lead. Its plot is very.... spoilery, but there's a very good buildup to it, especially in Lead. Parts are a bit contrived, but I really enjoyed the couple, and I was kind of trash for their antics. Like, Ben FUCKS UP. I was there for the drama.

So yes, I would recommend reading the others--Lick is probably the weakest for me. Lead is the strongest, followed by Deep, but I did enjoy Play... Though again, Mal is not a traditional romance hero. You may like that, you may not. It's a gender dynamic you don't see a lot of, tbh, though not in any kind of like, kinky way (.... :().

Both Stage Dive and VIP actually suffer from First Book Syndrome, imo, where the author kind of plays the safest, least interesting book first and then is like "okay, now I can show you the people I was really excited about". I do think Kylie does some very good shit with buildup in Lead especially because Jimmy like, literally sexually harassed his sister in law and overdosed in Lick... and then has to own himself and like, accept love in Lead.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

1 note · View note

plutoswrath · 3 years

Note

i’m jealous of your big heart when it comes to animals lmao. i’m arachnophobic and it can be so annoying to have sometimes. i haven’t been able to tie it back to astrology, as much as i would like to. i asked because i was wondering if there was a clear indicator based off certain placements like how 6th house rules animals, 6th is ruled by mercury so i jumbled them even though i probs shouldn’t have lol. and with venus it ties to personal taste so i wondered if it could indicate a liking towards a certain animal. i have sag and sag venus in 6th and embarrassingly enough, i was obsessed with horses. like i came out of the womb adoring them. as soon as i learned to talk i was a walking horse encyclopedia. my obsession died down. i’m not a horse girl, i swear on my life.

i agree with you about the cancer loving animals. animals are babies and momma cancer loves to nurture the babies. i feel like cancers are the most likely to hate the “are you a dog or cat person” question. they’d get offended because how dare someone assume their heart isn’t big enough for both. more than both, really. throw a turtle in there. a rabbit even. cancer asc peeps usually have a shit ton of animals. it’s probably the sag/abundance in the 6th. or they either own a horse or Great Dane. but this is off topic because i forgot i had a follow up question.

if you could tie an animal or a couple animals to each sign that you think best represents that sign? or just seems like one they’d like? some are so easy and others just leave me blank. my arachnophobia thinks scorpio’s deserve better than scorpions but my terror blinds me. but i was looking up the symbolism behind animals and tying them to signs. so far, i’ve concluded that while horses should go with sag, their highly intuitive and empathetic animals. their behavior is like a mirror so if you’re nervous, they are too. so pisces or cancer actually seems to be a better fit. and to stay on topic of cancer with animals, i always tie wolves and dogs in general to cancer. the wolves are tied to the moon and familial dynamics and also i think they’re a great symbolic opposition to leo and how leos tend to resemble cats. sun and moon, dog and cat, night and day, that sort of thing. i realized i’ve rambled but i’m looking forward to your opinion because i’m so lost on what other signs would have. it’s been a year old question in my brain and it’s time for help from the master.

I'm sorry to hear that, I'm had a friend once who was arachnophobic and having phobias like these is really no fun, I can't imagine what it feels like really having them. And omg don't feel bad for liking horses when you were a child, literally so many children, especially young girls, like horses simply because people decided horses where a 'teenage girls only' thing somehow?? (and I will have to dig deeper into this at a point because here where I come from the horse girl thing is soooo painfully real and I want to understand the phenomena). And if I'm not mistake, arachnophobia (like most types of phobias), stem from some kind of trauma right? I absolutely don't try to get to personal but if we look at phobias in that way, maybe it's good to also include looking at planets/asteroids that point to trauma or aspects that can represent/indicate traumatic experiences in that sense! And I agree wholeheartedly to the 'dog or cat' question, I don't get offended by it but I hate this question in general because every animal deserves my love and empathy adfghj and yes, mother feelings definitely play into this haha! I think cancers enjoy (to an extent) having that occasional (or constant) outlet for their nurturing side and the bound you have to animals is also very intuitive and requires a lot of patience and getting educated as well as being observant and reading between the lines somehow and all that dedication paired with emotional knowledge just really speaks to water signs in general (and animals don't judge openly with words, just your energy asdfgh) Uhh, I like the question regarding the animals and I agree with your takes on it so far!! I think one animal can not represent all the core traits of a sign alltogether, but I'll try my best here! and psdfghj no need to call me master because I'm literally so far from anything close to that but thank you so much still, I feel honored really!!

The Signs as Animals:

Disclaimer: some of them are inspired by my ‘the Wild Unknown Animal Spirit’ tarot deck.

Aries: House cat. I know, I always thought cats actually link pretty well to Aries! Cats are just the perfect mixture of intelligen and curious, reserved, stubborn, aggressive, senstive as well as playful/impulsive! They are quick to learn and not afraid to face off against any other, bigger animals, but also can live pretty well together with other pets in the house, as long as they don‘t bother them too much. Especially when it comes to intimacy/pda they are very picky, but forceful when demand it. Seem flexible and unbothered at first but actually have the firmest boundaries when it comes to their personal freedom. Will let you believe they need you but give it a few weeks and the neighbor has better treats than you and gone they are asdfgh, but it's actually a harmful stereotype to believe that cats don't need you because they can become extremely fond of you and grow very attached.

Taurus: Elk. Based on the interpretation of my tarot deck. The elk represents earth energy, it is grounded, is established in itself and knows their core values and acts according to them. They show consistency, coherence and care. Dedicated to who they love and what they care for. Can become narrow minded due to knowing what's best, based on their perception of what's right and necessary, which can effect their ego negatively. Very Taurus for me. Gemini: Dragonfly. I refer to the interpretation of the Dragonfly based on my tarot deck. The dragonfly represents the mind: everchanging, quick, fascinating, a reflection of the world inside us and aroudn us. As the dragonfly is very quick (refering to Mercury's fast and nervous energy) the dragonfly also calles for paying attention to what quality our mind has and to become mindful, because on first glance things always appear different tahn on first glance (Mercury floats between detail-oriented and paying attenetion and being too fast, impatient). The dragonfly is joy and magic, as well as impatience, restlessness and being unable to concentrate. Cancer: Killer Whales (but also whales in general)! I thought especially about Killer Whales, because I once watched a documentary on them and they went in depth about how they have different cultures and different languages even (if I remember correctly) in their familys. Cancer often gets associated with the home life, but I think I wanted to look at it from another perspective, as in how does family 'become' family and how do those family roots develope, what do they consist of, how do we define family and what holds it together (and especially: how do our roots shape our own emotional patterns and nature in life?). I think the mystery of the Killer Whales but the whole complexity that lies behind the fascination of how these animals function and also how deeply affected Killer Whales are by their emotions/when they are absent from their kin, just opens up another big question of family dynamics and how we relate to one another and how principles we always condoned to human beings now apply to animals too. I think the whole part about the Killer Whales relation to emotions and their family's cultures just really made me link them to Cancer. Leo: Otter. I refer o the meaning of teh Otter based on my tarot deck. The Otter resembles the energy of the inner child: it's pure bliss, playfulness, they love to live and live for life itself, and out of this eagerness to enjoy life comes also a contentment and completeness towards life itself. To reconnect with otter energy, it is advised to step into settings of celebration, or total creative self expression and from the outside looking 'unproductive/selfish' indulgence. But actually, this energy is what makes life so enjoyable in the first place.

Virgo: Octopus. Highly intelligent beings that can quickly adapt and take the initiative. Self sufficient by nature, they aren't aggressive unless provoked, they like to mind their business unless they get curious (then they cling heavy onto you because you are their new object of interest). They can change color if it's needed (Virgo is a mutuable sign and can blend in perfectly in social occasions/new situations) and tbh the inking part about octopus just reminds me of the fact that most Virgos have a really quirky side to them you only get to see when you annoy them long enough (aka you are a long term friend). Libra: Gazelle. I refer to the meaning of ten Gazelle based on my tarot deck. The gazelle combines the creation of beauty and harmony, creativity and hyper awareness of it's surroundings, very affected of the imbalances in it's environment, but in it's try to remain this beauty around them, they tend to forget their achievments and stay in the present with their thoughts, as they constantly wheigh out the 'what if's'. A very perceptive animal in the tarot deck and this attribute is equally it's strong suit and downfall. Scorpio: Tiger. I refer here to the meaning of the Tiger based on my tarot deck. Waits in stillness and darkness to reconnect to their own inner power. Healing in isolation with the help of the lunar forces, waiting to regenerate. The Tiger energy shows itself in being passionate, sensual and stepping into ones own power, recognizing ones strength. For me, this is very Scorpio (Moon) for me. When the Tiger in unbalanced, it becomes overstimulated and acts according to this hyperawareness. Sagittarius: Zebra. I refer here to the meaning of the Zebra based on my tarot deck. The Zebra stands for an open mind, visionary and eccentric, new thinking, as well as being young at heart and expansion. I personally connect horses with passion and drive, because they are truly powerhouses. Based on the meaning of my tarit deck, the Zebra also is sociable, at least people find themselves drawn to the energy of the Zebra because it triggers their desire to learn, and I think this is something very beautiful Sagittarius symbolizes when they come into your life: be prepared to broaden your horizon for more.

Capricorn: Camel. I refer to the meaning of the Camel based on my tarot deck. Camels here represent absolute dependence on self and being able to find the answer to problems in oneself. This self reliance and capability reminds me of capricorns, the camel is finding the 'cool' aka water inside of them and Capricorn is traditionally also symbolized as the sea-goat (which I seriously think should really be considered when anaylzing this archetype) and Capricorns have (imo at least) a rich emotional life, but it's just deeply locked within. The Camel represents showing responsibility for their own actions, regulating the self and circumstances around them as best as they can, which makes sense for Capricorns, ruled by Saturn they usually are confronted with task in their life. If the Camel energy is out of balance, it shows a lack of vitality, with Capricorn representing the senior age in life makes sense, especially since Capricorns can tend to feel very old (exhausted)- Aquarius: Platypus- and no, I’m not using the Platypus because ‚wow all Aquarius are so weird like straight up aliens 🤪🤪’ I think the platypus is a good representation because it makes us question what we’ve known so far about animals and Aquarius too is a sign that introduces us to new ideas and perspectives all in the favor of progress and considering alternatives, leaving the status quo. Pisces: Raven/Crow. I name these two in particular because as far as I know it’s only the ravens that have been documented intimating people’s voices and tones, but crows are definitely more known for their bright mind. For me people often forget Pisces mutable nature and how quick witted they actually are. These birds are hyper intelligent and their observational skills are truly amazing. In my Wild Uknown Animal Spirit deck, the crow is an animal carrying 3rd eye energy. Here, the view is clear, the crow is moving through different dimensions and sees what other’s cant. For and the emotional depth (void) Pisces is conencted to it just seem to make sense.

#i swear i will be more active the next days #replies #anonymous #astrology #zodiac #the signs as #the signs as animals

47 notes · View notes

endlessfurore · 2 years

Note

the last two tma eps Were shit and so unsatisfactory and not listening to them was maybe the best thing you could do lmao. imo the whole concept of season five took a deep dive when they realised how much people loved jonmartin and decided to directly cater to them via this whole season long, conflictless bantering with absolutely no story goal. like. yea characters should have relationships and stuff thats only for character building and not relevant to the story and shit but their relationship didnt even do that bc they were exactly the same at the end of s5! it felt like a cheap filler the whole way through ! and im still mad about it, a whole year later!

i think that s5 had some episodes that were really interesting and good on their own but the direction they took the narrative was so unsatisfying and completely failed to live up to the potential created in s4. i remember during the hiatus there was some really really interesting s5 speculation and fanfics and i miss that era. i’m especially mad about the extinction i think it had soooo much more potential, like, conceptually and it, like much of s5 fell flat. furthermore—and this is something i made a post about before—the consistent episodic format of the previous seasons was something that was iconic to tma and pretty beloved by the fans, and [ok i found the post i made i’m just going to insert a screenshot lmk if you need image desc]

anyways in my mind tma ended with 160. not because of like. jmart good cows safehouse era but because the tma apocalypse that exists in my mind is simply better than s5

also to actually directly respond to the criticisms in your ask i honestly didn’t even really register that as being the ‘source’ of the decline i think bc i do love jmart and in isolation a lot of their little moments gave me a serotonin boost but like. you’re not wrong lol. i think i said this somewhere on my tma blog but something the tma fans did for better or for worse was turn tma into a character driven narrative by acting like that’s what it was. which resulted in a lot of major themes being dropped or ignored and never carried to completion. and that’s a risk you run releasing a story episodically and kind of writing it as you go but the poor planning shows and the type of story tma could’ve been really suffered from it

#answered #tma

3 notes · View notes

bigdudette · 2 years

Text

Kinlist

I originally posted this a while ago but decided to edit it cause I changed, and it was inaccurate. This isn’t in a particular order btw.

Maki Harukawa - Maki has always been the most relatable character to me. Her entite arc always hit a bit too close to home. I have grown a lot as a person, but can’t help it but relate to her still. I always found her whole thing with kids relatable as well. I “hate” kids, or at least sorta. I guess I more so hate the idea of them? But I still usually end up taking care of them.

Toko Fukawa - I am indeed an INFP so her whole bit about fantasizing I found relatable. Also her viewing the world through a grimy and pessimistic lense is quite similar to me. Then there’s the part ab her being a writer

Mona Megistus - It’s not just cause I’m into astrology, I swear. I always found her relatable but after seeing her mirage andd all that jazz, I felt so much stronger ab her. The bit about her always being broke - not cause she didn’t earn any money but because of her expensive habits hit me right in the gut.

Fischl - Again, I’m an INFP who writes fan fiction. I constantly live inside my own fantasies. Idk what else to say. Also can we talk ab when she randomly breaks character? Cause I loved tht

Diane Nguyen - Another writer, who is shocked? She doesn’t write a lot of fiction but I relate to that part of her as well. All though with Diane, it’s mostly about her state of mind and mental health.

Jinx - Oh Boy, here comes the abandonement issues. She is one of the ones I’m a bit insecure ab kinning. When I say I’m a Jinx kinnie it’s not cause I’m so quirky that i relate to a murderer. I think the way her untreated anxiety and abandonment issues turned into something much much worse. This one hurt me to type out fellas

Reko Yabusame - Once again, the thing with kids comes up. I like taking care of people weaker than me, a lot like Reko. It’s not a power thing, but more like a “that could’ve been me” thing, cause I know what it’s like to feel powerless. I also gotta say her interest in music also speaks to me. She’s up there with my highest kins.

Robin Buckley - She likes boobies, I like boobies. No, but seriously, I always found her relatable but after s4 I consider her a kin. Idk how to go into depth here, it just is what it is. I can say that I have the tendency to not be able to shut up once I star yip yapping away, so there’s that.

Tsukimi Kurashita - One of my lesser known kins, but doesn’t mean I kin her any less. Another Infp to add to the list while we’re at it. I may not be obsessed with Jellyfish but I do have obsessions and ambitions. How she acts in public, her awkwardness, everything.

Marceline - Music is one of my passions as well as writing. I am such a sensitive person but that can be hard to show in a healthy manner. Music has helped me so much in that regard. I also am into pink girls who are into science.

Lapis Lazuli - The trauma of it all! The isolating yourself because you don’t know how else to cope part! I just want to see her happy because everything about her is painfully relatable.

Catra - Soooo again, we have abandoment issues. She’s also in love with her childhood best friend. She also copes with being super destructive having no regard for how that may affect those around her or even herself, as multiple of the characters above.

Rue Bennett - Again with the very destructive coping mechanisms. How she acts. I’m not an addict but my own behaviour has led me to living quite the similar life to her.

4 notes · View notes

morgana-ren · 4 years

Note

my kink is shiggy going absolutely feral and wrecking the pussy

I am soooo sorry this took so long to respond to. I’ve been working nutty hours and it’s been busier than usual. I’m also sososo sorry the quality sucks. I wrote half of it tonight and I am crazy sick. I’ve got some sort of awful flu and I’m like coughing to the point where I can’t breathe and my mouth tastes like blood and my body feels like I was hit by a train. I hope you like it though :/ (BTW this ended up way longer and weirdly… sweeter than I originally intended? I hope it’s still okay though)

He’s sitting at the bar, and admittedly, he’s had a few more drinks than he usually has. Originally, he just wanted to take the edge off, but now he’s feeling a little bit loose. His inhibitions are definitely lower than they should be, so he’s maintaining his composure by trying to keep to himself. He very rarely allows himself to relax like this, but it’s been one hell of a week, and his pent-up rage and anger is threatening to boil over unless he lets himself decompress. It’s for his sake, and more importantly, for the sake of everyone around him, so he allows himself this one.

There’s only one little problem.

That problem is you.

Even at his most attentive, the absolute height of his prowess, he was starting to realize that there was something a little different about you. Don’t get me wrong, he cared about all of his team. They were his family now and he was content with that. But occasionally he found his eyes lingering on you a little too long, getting a little too lulled by the sound of your voice. He would even go as far as to say he felt something akin to giddiness when you would plop down on the stool next to him at the bar.

Tomura was no fool. He knew what it was. He understood in some capacity that he was attracted to you. He had been since you joined. He figured it was inevitable to some degree. After all, he wasn’t exactly a people person, and the ones he did surround himself with weren’t exactly suited to his sexual tastes. He felt for Toga like a big brother would (not to mention the fact that she was underage and that was definitely not his cup of tea.) And the rest of the team? He’d rather shove a nail in his foot.

But you? You seemed a little too perfect.

He tried to play it off as his loneliness. A young female around his age with a powerful quirk and similar views? Of course nature would take its course and veer his attention toward you. That didn’t mean it had to be genuine, right? Surely it would die with time, fading into the background until it was nothing but a dull echo and eventually nonexistent. He was just touch starved, feeling particularly lonesome and isolated recently. It had nothing at all to do with the fact that you had been running circles around his mind lately. Nope. Not at all.

He didn’t spare you any extra attention, gave you no favors. He didn’t let his libido steer his judgement, letting his rational mind keep control instead. He was the leader after all, and it was his job to refrain from bias toward any member of his team. Favoring one or the other, especially because one had a face and personality partial to his own personal tastes, was not a good look. He was a professional. He needed to act like one.

He thought he was doing a pretty good job.

At least until now.

His grip on the glass is a little too tight, just a bit too strained. He can hear you laughing behind him, at what he doesn’t know, but he knows it was ashtray that made you do it. It had been like this the last half hour. You and Dabi had been playing some sort of drinking game and clearly having one hell of a time. Exchanging stories, bantering, and joking back and forth.

Tomura might as well have been a fly on the wall.

Neither one of you seemed to pay him any mind, letting him drink alone in peace. At least as much peace as he could have while you two were practically rioting behind him. With his back turned, you couldn’t see how unbelievably irritated he was either. He told himself it was the noise. He had a headache and you two really should keep it the fuck down. That’s what he told himself.

“Hey dollface, you ever played ‘never have I ever?”

Dabi’s slurring slightly, clearly already deep in his cups. Whatever bullshit game you had been playing before, you had obviously been winning. You seem essentially sober, and yet you were still humoring this asshole. Shigaraki closes his eyes and rolls them. You two were utterly juvenile.

“Not since I was a kid.”

“You wanna play?” The suggestiveness in burn-unit’s voice is just a little too palpable. Shigaraki forces down another coming wave of irritation. He didn’t need to be subjected to this. Two of his subordinates acting like fucking baboons.

“Sure. I hate playing quarters with you anyway. You suck at it, but the quarters you use get too warm and they keep burning my fingers.”

“Can’t help it. I’m hot.” He raises his arms in a joking prostration, nearly falling off of his chair in the process. You chortle, snorting under your breath at his pathetic display. Shigaraki notes that you don’t disagree, however.

“Tell you what, if you can keep your ass in that chair, I’ll play it with you.”

“Ladies first.” Dabi resituates himself on the seat, loudly pulling himself forward several times until he’s level with the table once more.

“Okay, let me think… Never have I ever…” You pause for a moment, thinking. “Stolen a car.”

“Fuckin’ seriously? I had you pegged all wrong, doll! You’re definitely more boring than I thought.”

“Well? Have you?” You seem to already know the answer, but that’s the point.

Tomura knows the answer too. In fact, Dabi has stolen cars under his orders. Looks like ashtray loses this round. With any luck, he’ll eventually black out soon and maybe things would calm down.

“Yeah, yeah, give me the cup.” There’s the sound of a shot glass being passed across the table, and then a very loud crash that nearly makes Tomura jump.

“Bottle’s empty.” Dabi says nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just knock it to the floor, shattering it on accident. “Go get another one.”

“Yes master.”

It’s blatantly sarcastic and Shigaraki knows it is, but it still makes him flush slightly. Those words from your lips are not what he needs to hear right now.

You scoot away from the table, walking over behind the bar where Shigaraki is seated. There’s a pair of cabinets hanging overhead above him that you’ve got your eye on. However, as you stand in front of him and reach up to scrounge through the inside of them, he does his best to shake his shaggy hair in front of his eyes, trying to cover his ruddy face. You don’t quite realize it, but as you’re digging around up there, you’re giving him an exceedingly generous view of your cleavage.

He tries to tear his eyes away, trying to look anywhere else butat your overexposed chest. It’s unprofessional. It’s crude. It makes him feellike a dirty pervert, leering at you when you’re so oblivious. He doesn’t want to look. He’s not going to look. He’s going to pick up his drink and go in the next room and…

He’s looking.

Look, you can’t just do that, okay? I mean, you don’t know what you’re doing but still! He might be the leader, but he’s also a man and he has needs. Wants. Desires. And right now, there’s a pair of tits almost directly in his face, so achingly close that he could touch them if he wanted. His fingers are digging into the skin of his palm, trying to quell all the desperate urges he’s feeling right now, chastising himself in his head for even thinking that way. He holds out, thinking of strategies or games or something, anything to beat off those thoughts. Beat off. Fuck.

Finally, you slam the cupboard shut, apparently not having found what you were looking for. He could have technically told you that there was no liquor up there, but far be it from him to make your life any easier. You opt instead to look behind you in some cupboards lining the wall. He takes another sip of his drink, watching you as you fall to your knees, rifling around in the dusty, cobwebbed enclosure.

“What the fuck is taking so long?” Dabi pipes up from the back, kicking at the glass shards on the floor.

“I can’t find any!” You call back, before sparing a glance towards Shigaraki himself. “Hey boss, can we-”

“No.” He curls his hand protectively around his own bottle. Like hell he’s giving his liquor to that drunken moron behind him.

You sigh, returning to your efforts. He watches in slight amusement as you toss shit around on the inside, very clearly growing frustrated with your lack of success. At least until you bend down, practically crawling inside. Your upper half is encased on the inside of the cheap wooden hutch, but your bottom half…

Your backside is perked out directly toward him. You’re wiggling and worming, smacking things out of your way in your quest for more booze, and it’s definitely not helping. He can see the lines and contours of your ass through your pants, moving and shimmying around so much that he’s subconsciously brought his hand up to his face, biting deeply on a knuckle as he watches.

He doesn’t want to watch. He wants to close his eyes, to look away, to roll his eyes into his head, anything but ogle you like this. His pants are becoming increasingly tight, straining against his crotch. He’s acutely aware of this, shifting in his chair uncomfortably.

Fucking alcohol. It really has been a while.

“Got it!” You maneuver your way out of the alcove, clutching a bottle of musty liquor in your hands, holding it up triumphantly. Shigaraki snaps out of his haze, face blossoming into a deep shade of crimson. Maybe he’s had enough for tonight…

“Yeah, yeah, hurry it up half-pint. I’m losing my buzz.” Dabi is very blatantly more than ‘buzzed’, and he seems hellbent on getting black out. It’s no skin off Shigaraki’s ass, at least that way he’ll probably fall over and pass out and you two will finally leave him alone and give him time to compose himself and chase away these intrusive thoughts.

“Here you go, you big lug.”

He reaches for the bottle in your hands but you pull it away, shaking your head at him and pouring the shot for him. He shoots you a glare, but takes it none the less. His head lulls over as the liquor burns down his throat and Tomura is betting two more and he’ll be on the floor.

He just has to hold out until then. It’s probably a good thing that Dabi is on the brink of black out, because Shigaraki is rapidly running out of patience, dropping levels lower every time he has to hear Dabi’s goddamn voice. He’s almost always baseline annoyed with patchwork, but something was making him exceedingly irritating tonight. Every time he spoke you to you, Tomura found his lip twitching at the poorly concealed inflection in his voice. He doubted you even noticed it, but he sure as fuck could.

“My turn.” Dabi manages to garble out, leaning forward toward you on the table, smiling deviously. “Never have I ever… Fucked a member of the team.”

Tomura can barely hear your shock above his own. Heat prickles painfully below his eyes, mouth slightly agape and both his hands curling into fists. He doesn’t understand why he’s so mad, so angry at it, but he doesn’t exactly care enough to analyze it right now. It’s the typical sort of bullshit shenanigan that drunk people get up to, but it sends his rage meter through the roof. He’s at the end of his rope.

“What?” You laugh anxiously, a barely concealed look of discomfort on your face. “I mean like, yeah, neither have I.”

Dabi leans even more forward, pushing up from his chair and stabilizing himself on the table as he enters your personal space. His eyelids are lowered, either from the drink or his drunken attempt to be seductive, but either way, it’s a bit laughable. “Do you want to?”

“That’s enough!”

Tomura has shoved himself off his stool, kicking it aside as he faces you both. You look utterly started, but Dabi seems unsurprised by his outburst, cocking his head over with a bored expression. “Whattaya want, creep? We’re busy over here.”

Shigaraki opts to ignore Dabi, instead narrowing his eyes on you. If he didn’t know better, he’d say you looked frightened, eyes popped like a deer in headlights, no doubt wondering why it was you getting the brunt of the scolding when it was very clearly Dabi who was crossing boundaries in front of the boss. Right now, he doesn’t care.

He stalks over to you, harshly wrapping four fingers around your wrist and dragging you off into the nearby hallway. “I need to speak with you. Now.”

You gulp almost audibly as he yanks you across the room and into the darkened corridor while Dabi rolls his eyes and scoffs, reaching for the bottle again. Tomura can feel your anxious eyes on the back of his head, no doubt wondering what you were in for, and honestly, even he didn’t know. He had acted on impulse, being led entirely by some instinct that had taken over his brain.

He brings you down deep into the bowels of the building before he finally stops. It’s where you’re certain no one can hear you scream, no matter how many times you tell yourself that this is your leader and he wouldn’t do that to you. He’s got you against a wall as he stares down at you, crimson irises burning into yours. He looks pissed, but he’s just glaring down at you silently, letting the tension build to unbearable levels.

“Boss?” You squeak, unable to handle not knowing.

“Quiet. I’m thinking.” He hisses, snarling at you.

“B-but boss, I didn’t-”

“I said shut up!” He slams his hands on either side of your head, narrowly avoiding decaying the wall behind you. He’s leaning down, face is so close to yours that you can feel his breath against your cheek, moist and chilling you to the bone. You’re unsure of what exactly is about to happen, and for a moment, he is too. He’s frustrated and flustered and he has no fucking idea what the hell he’s even doing here.

That doesn’t last long.

Fuck it.

He crushes his mouth to yours so hard he knows it probably hurts you, but you don’t seem to register it. Your eyes are snapped open, mouth slack and unmoving against his own in your stunned state. To hell with it, he needs to get this out of his system. If you want to hate him later, fine, but he needs to do this. He can’t handle it anymore.

What he doesn’t expect, however, is that after your initial shock wears off, you rake your hands through his hair, pulling him tighter against you, returning his fevered kiss with equally intense fervor. You’re practically devouring him, trying to slip your tongue between his closed lips. While his motions are automatic, his brain practically short circuits.

You’re… kissing him back?

It hits him like a kick in the ass. You’re kissing him back. You are reciprocating. Hell, you’re practically directing at this point. Your hands are clawing at his silver locks, yanking him closer and closer until he can barely breathe. He doesn’t care, he couldn’t care less if he never breathes again as long as you keep yourself pressed against him.

He can feel your body flush against his own, bathing in the warmth of your heat. This is all happening so fast, almost too fast. He never in his wildest dreams would have imagined that you could want him back, and it’s spurring his mind into overdrive. He knows what little self-control he has slipping, and the urge to shove you back further against the wall and take you is becoming a little too overwhelming. He needs to slow down while he still has the ability.

He pulls away if only slightly, just enough that he can croak your name, nails digging into your shoulder in warning. You can see his flushed cheeks, eyes glassy and low. His adam’s apple bobs, swallowing hard against your throat and you can tell he’s doing is best to not envelop you completely in his haze. It’s physically paining him in more ways than one, and you can feel a certain thick hardness worrying between your thighs. Gauging by his facial expression, he’s trying so desperately to communicate to you what’s going through his head without needing to say it.

You get the message. You know he’s trying so hard to keep in check, and no matter how badly he wants it, he’s going to resist. It’s his last defense.

Unfortunately for him, your only desire is to throw gasoline on that fire. You want it, and you want it bad. So, you pull a very unfair move.

You purse your lips in a pout, a simpering little whine emitting from your throat. Your hands make their way down to his narrow hips, gripping him closer between your parted thighs as you roll your body against his overly excitable nether region. Biting your lip, you bring your face close to his ear, whispering.

“Tomura…”

You feel him tense up, seizing as if frozen. His breath is caught in his chest, unable to move or think or breathe. There’s no mistaking the tone in your voice. Your head is in the same space as his. Is he asleep? Dreaming? Alive, even? There’s no way someone like him made it into heaven, so what the fuck was happening?

For the first time since you met him, he looks confused. His thin brows are furrowed, mouth open as if he wants to say something but can’t even find the words. Speechless, for once. He’s not even looking at you anymore, usually thin pupils dilated and switching rapidly between alternate sides of his eyes as if he’s expecting some sort of ambush. He’s utterly lost, and for a moment, you almost feel sorry for him. He’s clearly not used to this. He just needs a tiny little push.

“Fuck me.”

His eyes snap back to yours, a small gasp leaving him. All he needed was your permission, and you just gave it to him. Once you opened that door, there was no closing it. He knows it. You know it. And you’re more than okay with that.

“Please?”

He gives you exactly one second to inhale before he’s on you again. Hands clawing down your back as you struggle to undo your pants which seem exponentially more complicated than they did hours ago. As you kick them down your legs, he catches the hint that your clothing is optional, opting to rip and tear at your shirt rather than take the time to undo it properly. You want to scold him for ruining it, but that’s a bit difficult to do when his tongue is so far down your throat that it might as well be your own. You have a feeling he wouldn’t care even if you could.

You try to do him the favor of unbuttoning his pants, tugging them slightly down his hips, but before you can finish, he grabs your wrists, guiding them up to find anchor behind his neck. You can tell he’s trying to be as gentle and careful as he can, but his hands are shaking and stuttering against you, prying his pinkie fingers back so far that you’re sure it’s cramping him. He doesn’t want to risk harming you, but every bone in his body is screaming at him to tear into you like a predator.

You cling to him as he jerks his jeans down just enough and awkwardly frees himself with one hand, eyes never leaving yours. He’s waiting for you to shove him away, push him off, tell him you were kidding and laugh at him, reject him somehow. But you never do. Even as you can feel him against your legs, he pauses, needing some sort of final confirmation before he goes any further.

You let one hand unhinge from behind him, tracing his jawline and then grabbing his face gently in your hands. He looks vulnerable, almost confused, barely holding back whatever overwhelming need he has and it’s for your sake. You do the only thing you can do, the best reassurance you can think of.

You give him a gentle kiss on the lips, and then nod.

The switch flips.

You barely have time to clasp your hands back around his neck before he’s hiking you around up around his waist by your legs. You manage to lock your ankes together before he’s on you like a feral beast, burrowing his head in the crook of your neck, growling and gnashing his teeth on the tender skin of your throat. He’s grinding his erection between your thighs, rubbing against you and teasing your clit until you’re working against him with equal ferocity, practically ripping his hair by the roots.

He’s got you pinned between his lithe body and the wall, his nails digging into the thick skin of your thighs as he groans against your collar bone. He can feel how wet you are and it’s driving him into a frenzy, your little whimpers only serving to harden his already aching cock. The barely controlled undulation of his hips against yours but a taste of what he’s going to give you, and if he makes you wait much longer, you’re going to lose it.

He lets go of one of your legs, letting you steady yourself with your fastened ankles as his hand creeps between your waiting thighs, stroking and rubbing your nub until you’re bucking your body up into his touch. You’re breathing heavy, gyrating your body to try and increase the friction he’s providing you but it’s not enough. Your pleading looks and half formulated sentences coax a small, cruel giggle from him, reveling in the fact that you’re practically as needy as he is.

“You want it?”

His words are deceptively calm, but the truth of the matter is reflected in his eyes. Wide and bulging, blown out in lust. He’s barely even blinking, memorizing every detail of your wanton body on display for him. His fingers are twitching on his cock as he lines himself with your entrance, every single muscle longing to slam into you full force, but he wants to draw this out. Wants you to beg, needs it.

You nod your head vigorously, a pathetic whine all you can vocalize. You’re squirming in his arms, trying to impale yourself on him and failing. A frustrated groan and a pleading look later, and he decides that it’ll suffice.

”Take it.”

He plunges in, bottoming out inside you with one swift motion. The pressure is intense, stinging even with as wet as you are, but the moan that escapes him is unlike anything you’ve ever heard from him before. He’s always so calculated, so meticulous, but the sheer unadulterated carnality of the sigh that leaves him makes you clench tighter around him. You didn’t think something as simple as a sound could arouse you so much, but something about seeing him so uninhibited makes you hotter than you thought possible.

It takes him a second to adjust to your tightness, but he quickly gets his bearings. Hissing under his breath, he begins thrusting, canting his hips in rhythm as he fucks up into your pliable body. He’s pulling no punches, battering you into the wall until you’re certain there will be bruises. Tenderness is a distant memory but you don’t seem to mind as your cunt is squeezing him so tightly that it’s almost as if you don’t ever want to let go. Your hands untangle themselves from his hair, grabbing onto his shoulders and shredding into his hoodie as you desperately try to stable yourself as he bounces you recklessly on his cock.

Your lecherous moans echo off the walls alongside his huffing and cussing in a cacophony of sin, but neither one of you can muster concern about anyone else hearing you. All you can think about is taking him deeper, rolling your hips in time with his as he pounds into you. He couldn’t give a fuck less if anyone else walks in on it either, even All for One couldn’t command his attention anywhere else but you. The only thing he knows is that he needs to be inside you, needs to feel you and he’ll kill anything that tries to get in the way of that.

Briefly, in the heat of the moment, your eyes meet. Both of you are glossed over, running purely on the fumes of the lustful haze, but there’s something underneath it all that softens you, going beyond pure greed and lasciviousness. He must sense it too, because his free hand comes up to cup your face, puckering your lips with his fingers before he slams his lips to yours once more. There’s a passion to it, an urgency that says something that neither of your words can, and even as you lose yourself moaning into his open mouth, he never lets you go.

Between the frantic pumping and the heated neediness of the kiss, breath is few and far between. You’re both panting in time with each other, desperate for air and each other. You can feel the sweat building on his brow as he rests his forehead against yours, muttering something deep and incomprehensible between consuming you. You’re building up, both reaching your peak and soon his pistoning becomes erratic and broken. You breathe in his ragged, shuddering exhales, swallowing every ounce of himself that he gives you. You never want to let go. You never want to let go.

His cock throbs deep inside you and your orgasm proceeds his. You feel hot ropes of cum coat your insides and your walls milk him even further into completion, clinging fiercely to each other for purchase. Your head is thrown back, practically sobbing as he ushers you into a pleasure so intense that you’re not entirely sure your body can handle it. You’re left drowning and breathless, legs wrapped around him so tightly that it’s cutting off blood flow, arms coiled around his shoulders for dear life.

His mouth is open in a wordless cry, fractured wheezes ripping themselves from his throat as he tries to pull his soul back down to his body. He can’t feel his fingers anymore, can’t feel his extremities, all he can feel is you and your embrace and he decides he never wants to lose it as his lips find yours again, swallowing your cries of pleasure.

Even as you both float back down from your bliss, he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t want to. He knows what’s coming and he’s desperately trying to keep it at bay. He knows he has to let you go eventually, no matter how much he fights it. It’s inevitable, but he’ll draw it out as long as he can.

You don’t stop him.

He kisses you until one of you has no choice but to break it to breathe and he curses the function. With the break, he knows the moment is over.

Gently, he puts you down and does his best to keep you steady on weak, wobbly legs. Your thighs are twitching, already beginning to bruise where his hipbones repeatedly beat into them. He wants to say he feels bad about it, but he doesn’t. It’s a reminder of what you shared. You don’t seem to mind either, even as you nearly fall on your ass trying to gather your pants back up around your legs. Instinctively, you go to button your blouse, but you are quickly reminded that it’s no longer wearable as you realize there’s a gigantic rip through it, and several buttons scattered around on the floor beneath you. You quirk your brow at him, giving him a look of faux annoyance as you take it off and throw it at him.

“Oh.”

He catches the hint but seems lost for a minute. He’s looking around at the walls and the floor as if there’d be a convenient dresser that would pop out of thin air, and you have to resist the urge to laugh. He’s clearly still post-orgasmic delirium, and there’s something just so adorable about seeing such a serious, brooding figure so utterly clueless.

Eventually, he sighs, placing four of his fingers underneath the bottom hem of his hoodie and carelessly yanking it up over his head before chucking it at you in the same manner. He says nothing, but you understand. You look at it for a moment before raising it up over your head, awkwardly trying to maneuver your head and arms into the proper holes in the dark hallway. It takes you a good minute, but you manage.

“I’ll get you a new one.” He’s bashfully scratching the back of your head as he holds your shirt in his hand. He seems embarrassed now, which makes it very hard to resist the urge to giggle at him.

“Don’t even worry about it. I didn’t care about it that much.”

You tuck your hands into the pocket of the hoodie, and you realize just how comfy it is. No wonder he always wears it. You’re probably going to steal it. It definitely, absolutely has nothing to do with the fact that his scent is bombarding you now. Nothing to do at all with the fact that you can still feel the warmth of his body while you wear it. Nope. No chance. No way.

“You should bring that back to me when you change.”

You’ve been foiled.

“I’ll be up. You know where my room is, right?”

Oh.

OH.

You grin cheekily at him, shaking your head. “Yeah, I know where your room is. Give me a few minutes and I’ll drop it by.”

You could swear you see him smile a little when you agree.

“Good. That one’s my favorite.”

You want to make a joke about whether he’s talking about you or the hoodie, but he’s already stalking off. You’re not worried, you’ll see him soon enough.

You have to cross through the kitchen to get back to your room, and you are very surprised to see Dabi still sitting in the same chair where you left him. Well, not surprised to see him, but surprised that he’s not on the floor and is still very much awake. He looks over at you, frowning as he slides a shot glass across the table towards your direction.

“I think you have to take that last shot now.”

#Tomura Shigaraki #Shigaraki x Reader #Lemon #I'm so sorry if this sucks #I feel like someone hit me with 40 sick sticks #tw alcohol #Anonymous #just a warning this is straight up unedited

745 notes · View notes

siramay-the-showgun-dragon · 3 years

Text

Nothing changes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144008/chapters/77507987

Just to make things clear... (go on) Last night, I was attacked by someone wearing a mask... (yep) And whoever that was--now they're... I don't know why, but now they're laying dead in front of me... (I can neither confirm nor deny this query)

Makoto: what is that supposed to mean.

Siramay: I can neither confirm nor deny this query sorry you’re on your own.

So after seeing the corpse they began to investigate what could possibly have happened and then they tried to tell who it was and take of her mask and then

*KABOOOOOOM*

Siramay: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT HOW THEY MASSACRED MY GIRL WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRULE UNIVERES

...there was a blinding light, and a deafening roar. The body...blew up. It blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up!

Needless to say the survivor gang tried to put out the fire, but the damage was done WAS HER DEATH NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU! YOU GO AND DAMAGE HER BEAUTY TO!? Well even so may she still be an angel at first they all thought it kyoko, but they did bring up the possibility of it being the mastermind.

Makoto: Is it the teenage girl Kyoko told me about? The Ultimate Destrawberry...?

Siramay: you still doing that?

Makoto: you can never be to sure, also its funny

Siramay: true

Then makoto told the others about mukuro ikusaba the ultimate des-…. I’m running out of food… destarfruit.

Byakuya: There's another student here, and it's a female? That *would* match the body's characteristic...

Aoi: And that phrase, the Ultimate Des-

Siramay: NOOOO!!

magic

Aoi: Desblackberry--it sounds super mastermind-y, doesn't it?

Makoto: what did you do this time siramay?

Siramay: now no one can say desboysenberry MAHAHAHAHHA.

IT WAS THE ONLY THING SHE HAD LEFT WHAT DID SHE DO TO DESERVE THIS!? …do I even need to answer that?

yasuhiro: Okay, so...the mastermind is this girl Mukuro? And she's a student here? And she's the Ultimate Desdragonfruit? But if she's been hiding here in the school like some teenage Bigfoot...how'd she wind up burnt to a crisp!?

Well needless to say they went to investigate the body, also toko is ok what makoto saw was a strange key on the ground, then bayakuya kicked makoto out to look for the door the key opens.

Siramay: it opens the data center.

And makoto immediately went to tell them, REALY NO CHECKING!? then when they went they forced makoto to open the door incase it blew up, rude and so he opened it.

Siramay: behold…. THE MASTERMIND LAYER!!

Dramatic pose Epic thunder sounds

Makoto: where that come from?

Siramay: where do you think.

So yeah they saw all the cameras and such the mastermind uses to watch everyone.

So they all think mukuro was the mastermind BASELESS SLANDER and that shes dead, eh I don’t care I got a David bowie stash to find and steal then they wanted to investigate the data lab to find out secrets since they think zetsu was murdered.

Byakuya: Naturally. The state of the corpse makes it plain as day. There is absolutely no doubt the mastermind was murdered.

Siramay: ah not clearly they laid down put their coat on top of them and stabbed themselves in the stomach.

Makoto: really?

Siramay: no!

Well anyway they began to investigate the room like how the monodoor was locked and oh look a tv antenna witch they had yasuhiro use to connect to the tv which showed them and on every channel to how confusing oh and look monokuma was here.

Siramay: HES ALLLIIVVVEEE

They also said he’s acting different, but I don’t get that they seem the same to me, must be the madness of isolation.

Makoto: Oh yeah, that's it. Puhuhu... The look on your faces right now is sublime!

Siramay: it is kinda funny.

Monokuma: That's what I wanted to see--the moment you went from hope to despair.. I can say it myself naegi!

Siramay: OH NO I FORGOT MY MAGIC DOSENT WORK ON THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Then siramay jumped away in a portal in fear

monokuma: Well, it's almost time to cut off your past so full of hope and begin to DESPAIR at the future ahead of you! I want you to all have way more fun in this killing game!

Then monokuma said other things

This life isn't all bad ya know! I mean, there's stuff you won't like about life no matter where you are!

Siramay pops his head out of a tiny portal.

Siramay: that’s fair

Toko: Are you s-serious? This place is the w-worst...!

Monokuma: If it's the worst, does that mean you're in...despair? Ahh-hahahahaha!

Siramay: man you’re running millage on that word guess it makes sense its all you have left.

I say holding the secret stash of David bowie music I could burn this all right now in their face… no I shouldn’t I could use this later anyway also as a music man the songs are indeed quite good so anyway monokuma talks about how the tvs a clue.

Monokuma: Everything has a meaning, you know... All those hints I gave you, all those tantalizing tidbits about the school's mysteries... Even me luring you here right now... Why would I do any of that without a reason?

Siramay: ah so you admit it!

Monokuma: It was all for my captive audience--to show them true despair like they'd never seen it before!

Siramay: riiiiiggghhtt all right keep your secrets and ignore me not like I care!

Monokuma: I became the director of a despair-based production! This is the ultimate reality show! The best in despair entertainment!

A single tear sheds from siramays eye from being ignored.

Course monokuma went on and on about there evil but then he stopped cause after all if there still alive that means there not the body and if there not the body that means there’s another murder a foot and if there’s another murder a foot that means A TRIAL SHALL SOON COMENCE BUM BUM BUUUUMM

And then...he was gone. Reality was incomprehensible, the truth hopelessly out of reach. All we were left with...was despair. (monokuma: GOT IT! New ringtone!) We stood there for I don't know how long, frozen in place. I couldn't think- AW I COULD HAVE SAID DESPUMPKN GOSH DARNIT! (monokuma: you lose!) (it’s not over till the despair lady sings!). It took everything I had just to keep myself standing upright.

Yasuhiro: I don't understand any of this... What's "deswatermelon entertainment"? (monokuma: don’t start this again!) (to bad!) And...how is he still alive!?

Also byakyua thinks kyoko is dead cause his blatant and disrespectful slander of saying mukuro is the mastermind SLANDER I SAY! Course makoto refuses to believe it WITCH IS FAIR AS ITS AS FALSE AS ZETSUS HAIR COLOR and so the investigation begun, and so makoto went back to the garden, he saw fragments a knife, also makoto got all worried about murdering them awe no baby boi you didn’t do that then they checked the chickens.

Siramay: THERES NOT FIVE ANYMORE

I count four chickens.

Siramay: HINA YOU ATE A CHIKEN AND DIDN’T SHARE

Makoto: really?

Siramay: no

Then he recalled how the body looked before the boom, then they talked about the body was found, and byakua was suspicious about makoto thinking he’s the killer witch is not true at all, though I will admit it’s a fair point BUT MAKOTO IS AN ANGEL HE’D NEVER KILL and then makoto looked closer at the body..neeeeeerrr

Siramay: sad dragon noises

Makoto: … yes?

Siramay: look at those fake nails shed never where them she was forced to she couldn’t even have the honor of dyeing as herself what sick twisted monster would do that to a girl sob.

Makoto also noticed the wolf tattoo.

Siramay: yee I say she liked wolfys makoto but uh it had a more bisunessy reason but can’t say but shes a good girl she deserved head pats and love I hope she gets all the love in heaven, because she never got it here sob.

The upper half of the body got set on fire in the explosion, so it's totally blackened... Also, the top half of the body is wet.

SOB

Siramay just kinda stayed looking at the body in sadness.

Makoto also saw a tarp in the toolshed, then makoto wanted to investigate kyokos room, but first he realized the thing about the bomb but then they were allowed to go to kyokos room saw a woodblock key, then after talking to byakuya he recalled kyokos last will and testament sadly instead of giving makoto money or at least a boot to the head all it said was “under the sheets” in which makoto found a note about mukuro.

Siramay: aaayyy that’s my giiirrllll.

“Name: Mukuro Ikusaba

Sex: Female

The Ultimate Soldier (so coooool)

Although small for her age, she was a military specialist trained in every weapon type imaginable. (she could crush your skull with her thighs!) She showed an interest in the military from childhood and soon found herself completely absorbed in it. In elementary school, she won a survival game tournament and began writing for military magazines. (soooo cooool oh I already said that…well its true)

Just before entering middle school, while she and her family were on vacation in Europe (Ireland specifically shes half Irish don’t ya know makoto)...she disappeared. The story of a young Japanese girl being kidnapped quickly took over Japanese media outlets (her grandfather died! But he had it coming). An intense international investigation turned up no information, and she was never found. (she must be smart to stay hidden or at least I think so clever girl but never appreciated)

However, she reappeared in Japan three years later (could have sworn it was 4), alone and completely unannounced. She revealed that she had joined a mercenary group known as Fenrir for those three years. She insisted that she hadn't been kidnapped, that she'd received battle training of her own volition. However, she never revealed why she decided to return home when she did.” (…its complicated you know hard to explain with parents dying and your father figure telling you not to give up on family and siblings who may or may not have turned super evil while you where gone….. I don’t wanna talk about it)

Then byakua said how he recognized Fenrir

Siramay: oh yeah I know about it to!

Makoto: can you say anything about it.

Siramay: awe yeah its multiverseal! I’ve heard in many words I traveled to of the infamies Lycan family and there gang of fighters who follow the wolf loving war and all that heard about them all the way back in the 1800s with the great vvulf from the DD dimension though maybe they are older then even that and of course I can’t forget that cunning Worriz and the twisted gang in the 1980-2000s nearly killed a good friend of mine that guy did, though in your time in this world it was run by a Mr. Wayne Lycan he was cool a bit on the scrawny side though that’s why he worked twice as hard to prove the worth to his father that he could leady the business named ATM to Fenrir how fancy oh he was like the father mukuro never had and always wanted though I do have to question how sensible the man was to just allow a 10-11 year old into a mercenary gang but he did care about her he cared about her greatly he was so proud to see her fight and be victorious in battlefield… he must be just as sad as I about her death and what that cruel excuse for a sister did to her he said it himself he said “if anything happens to mukuro I’ll kill everyone on the battlefield then myself” so if he wasn’t already dead I assure he’s dead now

Makoto: how do you know all this

Siramay: I know everything makoto and also nothing at all.

And then monokuma showed up and was all mad about rule breaking and making a fuss about it.

Monokuma: Of course I am! A proper school life is built on the dedication to organization and order! Which is why even I, as the school headmaster, have to follow the regulations myself!

Byakuya: Oh? So you're saying you have to follow your own rules, as well?

Monokuma: Absolutely! I can't have you complaining about how unfair it all is, now can I?

Siramay: riiiigggghhhttt

Makoto: ?

Siramay: I’m just saying makoto there are two types of villains, villains who will literally kill themselves when their world order is broken and villains who will fuss about it but when the time comes will break the rules as easily as they made them, now just look at monokuma and everything he’s done and ask yourself which type he looks like

Then monokuma admitted how there where 16 students and he is one of them then he also revealed kyokos secret about her KFH (kyoko fried hands)

Monokuma: You know how she wears those stupid gloves day in, day out, all the time? Well, don't tell anyone I told you, but... She wears them to cover a bunch of hideous scars that she doesn't want anyone to see!

Makoto: ...What?

Monokuma: Puhuhu. Okay, NOW that's all you get! Ahh-hahahahaha!

And then they left

Siramay: how rude talking about kyokos hand scars I bet you wouldn’t like it if I talked about your back scars.

Makoto: they have scars?

Siramay: yeah but it aint like kyokos that come from burning hers come from FLAELLATION!!

Siramay pulls out said tool above you know classic family abuse I would talk about it, but I feel its cliche, so I don’t wanna be rude.

Makoto: they used that!?

Siramay: oh no her parents used more a basic stuff like riding crops and their fist though he did have big fist like bigger than a mug I think, there was this one tool, but I can’t recall the name OH WAIT!

THE SJAMBOK! these things hurt like death…. but as I was saying oh yeah that old whip was more used by good old grandpa damian, he was the old Irish one I was talking about he was a flagellant and a sado-masochist, so he was delusional but still she was just 10.

Makoto: TEN- makoto covered his mouth as not to react deeply.

Siramay: at least he never got to use the metal ones like this thing!

makoto almost fainted at the thought of what siramay brought up but siramay with a portal grew another hand to catch makoto.

eh its ok makoto whats a little mental damage between friends eh? After all scars may be forever (unless you get scar removal surgery witch they possibly did) but psychological damage will last even longer

anyway with monokumas info makoto realized the corpse can’t be kyoko, cause clearly me constantly calling the course mukuro was totally not valid proof…. Then again mukuro does mean corpse in Japanese maybe makoto just though I was being weird again, but no he would know her name yes! eh I digress anyway byakuya talked about mukuro and kyoko honestly it was pretty confusing.

Byakuya: We thought Mukuro, the Ultimate Despair, was the mastermind's true identity.

Makoto: don’t say that word!

Byakuya: why?

Monokuma getting aroused in the background.

Byakuya: But if that's true, Monokuma's behavior makes no sense. Why would the mastermind go out of their way to reveal themselves to us?

Makoto: That's a good point...

Well anyway they went to investigate the dojo to look at the locker and there where arrows and tape then they went to the archive to learn more about mukuro.

Yaaahhh more mukuro lore

Byakuya: "Fenrir is an elite fighting unit base out of the Middle East (it’s always the middle east why can’t they spice it up by fighting somewhere like Canada) (makoto: Canada really?) (I couldn’t think of anything but man that’s far from Europe don’t yah think. I think they were on draft world tour you know how it is). Unlike military contractors, they are a fierce group of soldiers who engage in direct combat. (fierce wolfy woos) They claim that a single member is equivalent to an entire company of regular soldiers. Just like Fenrir, the Wolf of Ragnarok, their mere presence is enough to strike fear into any enemy. They have been involved in countless military battles and operations, most of which are highly classified. (ou like the great battle of the heart of darkness a literal Eldredge abomination… wait that wasn’t them they were just commissioned by the cultist who found it oh, but they were defeated by the team who did defeat it I can still remember how they sliced vvulf in half)

"However, some time ago, they completely ceased all activity. At present, their continued existence cannot be confirmed. There are unconfirmed reports that the key members of the group were all neutralized. Rumors indicate they were killed to keep them from revealing the many state secrets they'd acquired. Some, however, believe there was mounting internal tension within the group, and they simply imploded." (WAYNE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) ……(PLEASE DON’T BE WHAT I THINK HAPPENED) (makoto: what do you-) (IM NOT SAYING!! As long as I don’t think it happened it didn’t happen, no no… oh no I can see nonononononoon! MAKOTO DISTRACT ME)

Makoto: ...

Siramay: at least Wayne and mukuro can reunite in heaven…

Byakuya: ...What is it?

Makoto: This all just sounds like some kind of...alternate reality.

Byakuya: Well, it isn't. This is *our* reality, the *only* reality (that’s not exactly true!). These people are part of our world. Their battlefields aren't much different from our lives here. An unpredictable, unimaginable world...

Also makoto realized the Fenrir people getting tattoos and that mukuro had a wolf tattoo and then it was time for the class trial, so as makoto went to the red doors siramay…started to beat box.

Siramay: bum bum bum bum bum bum bum a body’s been discovered a person has been murdered one of your fellow students is dead there’s a giant pool of blood and your names dragged through the mud gotta prove who is messed up in the head.

Well despair starts coming and it don’t stop coming don’t break the rules or you better get running dosent make sense why you’re trapped in here not what you expected from a new school year.

you’ve called it quits you’ve had enough so whats wrong with picking the knife up you’ll never leave if you don’t kill you’re gonna die if you just chill.

hey now! you’re the blackened! time for trial how sad!

Hey now! look what happened you got found out to bad.

And not its punishment tiiimmmee killers have to pay for their criimme.

Eh? Eh?

Makoto: …that was actually pretty good.

Siramay: YEAAHHH

Well when makoto got in the elevator everyone assumed him and byakuya where being gay (NO THEY WENRT) yes they were makoto, and so they where waiting for the elevator to go down… but go down it did not, it was a little over ten minutes, then monokuma showed up to explain the predicament, and then, like a hero in the climax of the movie, like a great explosion in a mine KYOKO WAS HERE ALLLIIIIVVVVEEEE even if yasuhiro thought she was a ghost so the others went to the elevator but makoto had a heart to heart with kyoko first, where makoto ask what kyoko was doing and she says how she was on the second floor dorms revealing that the key she had was a master key that could open any door in the school but they didn’t have much time to go further as they had to go to the trial, then kyoko sounded suspect but that ok cause it was trial time

Being the last one left, I stepped into the elevator. And the doors slid shut... This time, the clunking was loud enough to hurt my ears, and the dread began to consume me once again... I can't imagine ever getting used to the mental pressure that comes with preparing for an execution. In that dusky darkness, nobody said a word. We just stood there, silent, and still. After an immeasurable period of time, the doors opened without warning... A dazzling light penetrated every depth of my eyes. But it wasn't the illuminating light of hope... It was the blinding light of descarrot.

Makoto: OH SNAP NO IT WAS THE BLINDING LIGHT OF A FASHION DISASTER OH KODAKA! WHO DID YOUR HOME DECORATING? MY WORD IVE SEEN ANIMACROSSING HOUSES BY PEOPLE WITH BLINDFOLDS ON THAT LOOK BETTER THEN THIS

Siramay: I’ve heard of eyestrain but my word.

Monokuma: …rude Ahh, I've been waiting for this! I feel like it's been forever since we got together like this... The time for pointless jokes and jabs has passed. Let's get on with the show!

And so, the curtain opened for the fifth time... A deadly judgment... A deadly deception... A deadly betrayal. A deadly riddle, a deadly defense, and deadly faith... A deadly...class trial...!

SOOO COOOLL so the trial started.

Started with hagakure saying kyoko was dead and the one on podium was a GHOOOOOSSSTTT hahahahahahah thankfully makoto proved that argument wrong as they now needed to identify the real body victim …not thinking about it I guess that’s why he needed other not me proof to prover her identity he can’t just say “its mukuro cause the magic dragon only I can see told me so” hahahah they think he’s crazy so they talk about her tattoo.

Toko: Her master m-must have made her get it...to be like, "You're my *censored* ."

Crying cause shes not entirely wrong in a sense

But yeah so they all realized the corpse is mukuro.

Monokuma: Ah-ha-ha-ha! You sound surprised! But you're absolutely right! Yes, indeed! The trial this time is to solve the murder of Mukuro Ikusaba!

Siramay: SHE WAS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WOOOORRLLLDDD

Anyway

Aoi: But I mean...being the Ultimate Des-

Makoto: HINA NO!

Aoi: uh des…lettuce seems like a pretty mastermind-y title to me... sorry we’ve been out of fruits we have to go with vegetables now.

Monokuma: I don’t like this idea that’s spreading…

Byakuya: : Maybe we shouldn't have been thinking of her as the Ultimate Despair (makoto: EGGPLANT) in the first place.

Monokuma: I heard it~

Needless to say as they were talking about masterminds and all that and how mukuro wasn’t the big bad monokuma wanted to avoid the subject and move on to the fact the only 2 subjects that could have killed mukuro are kyoko and makoto, despite neither doing it but I digress so makoto had to clear his name so he explained cause the body’s dry (besides the water outage) that it had to have happened during 7:30-9 course that leaves kyoko without an alibi but kyoko wants to live to solve the school mystery says it’s a trap by monokuma (witch it is) but byakuya does state she had a motive

Byakuya: She thought Mukuro was the Ultimate Des-(makoto: GOARD). In other words, the mastermind behind everything... So she killed her to try and put a stop to all this. Isn't that right, Kyoko? But you made one catastrophic mistake--Mukuro wasn't the mastermind at all.

So in this scenario kyoko opts to bunk makotos alibi unintentionally pining blame on him

And thus began the game OF BLACNKED TENIS where makoto and kyoko kept throwing the title of blackened back to one another stating why they went the killer framing the other in the process crazy right?

Like saying the blood on the body was actually chicken blood to make it look wet when it could have been dry

Makoto: wait why did they have to stab a chicken for the blood couldn’t they just stab the body?

Siramay: blood coagulates sometime after the body dies though.

Makoto: well how long?

Siramay: uhhh I donno, OH like at least 10 hours or so

Makoto: that would have been plenty of time!

Siramay: … cringing cause he knows mukuro was dead for over a month so her blood would be long past coagulated but unable to tell makoto cause if he revealed that he would be spoiled for knowing something is suspicious about the trial right.

So they continued with this argument and then kyoko brings up the ultimatum that they couldn’t have had the dojo key cause the dojo key was in their room and they couldn’t get in their room cause byakua took their key, but makoto knew otherwise since she had the master key and so makoto was left with a huge choice call kyoko out or keep it to himself.

Makoto: siramay what should I do

Siramay: well I can’t say due to the universe but what I can tell you is to follow your heart for you are an angel and your word will always be divine even if not at first glance.

Makoto: what does that mean.

Siramay: you’ll soon find out.

...I've made my decision. I have to believe in Kyoko. There's no way she would kill someone! There has to be some secret here, something that has to do with the mastermind's trap that Kyoko mentioned.

But sadly by holding that info the suspicion crashed down finally on him and stayed there despite makotos please that something is wrong but monokuma wouldn’t have it and ended the trial.

Monokuma: Now, who will be chosen as the blackened? Will you make the right choice, or the dreadfully wrong one?

Makoto: Hey, hold on! siramay! Is this supposed to happen?

Siramay: …

Siramay just sat in silence looking at makoto.

Monokuma: What's it gonna be? What's it gonna beeee!?

And so makoto was deemed guilty.

Makoto: What...? You think *I'm* the killer...?

Yasuhiro: Sorry, man...

Aoi: Yeah, s-sorry...

Toko: It's all your f-fault...!

Byakuya: ...

Makoto: Everyone...you're wrong...! You've got it all wrong! I didn't do it!

Monokuma: Good job, everyone!

Makoto: G-Good job...?

Monokuma: Yeah. They got it right!

Makoto: N-No, I know that's not true... None of this makes any sense... This whole trial doesn't make any sense!

Monokuma: It makes perfect seeeeEEEENNNSSSSSEEE!!! It's the same as always! It's just like all the other class trials! And I'm gonna end it the same way! It's time for your heart pounding, positively thrilling punishment!

Makoto: W-Wait! Why do I--!? siramay!

But siramay just looked at him and started to sing.

[SIRAMAY] Poor, poor Makoto, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do? Poor, poor Makoto, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do?

Makoto: ... Kyoko--!

Kyoko: I don't expect you to forgive me. I know this is all my fault...

Makoto: Kyoko...?

Monokuma: Let's give it everything we've got! It's...PUNISHMENT TIIIME!

And so he was dragged off to his execution and I could hear him beg.

SIRAMAY! SIRAMAY PLEASE HELP ME SIRAMY? SIRAMAY!!

…

youtube

[SIRAMAY] Why the struggle, why the strain? Why make trouble, why make scenes? Why go against the grain, why swim upstream? It ain't, it ain't, it ain't no use You're bound, you're bound, you're bound to lose What's done, what's done, what's done is done That's the way the river runs

So why get wet? Why break a sweat? Why waste your precious breath? Why beat your handsome brow?

Nothing changes.

Nothing changes, nothing changes Anyhow…

And at the final moment when it seemed all hope was lost for makoto alter ego showed up and opened the trash shoot saving makoto just as expected thank goodness its still sad to see though did have to scream it truly scared me to death I’m glad he’s safe though.

[SIRAMAY] Oh now survivors, how low can you stoop? You make a sordid group, hey, how low can you stoop? Poor, poor makoto, sent off to his grave Situation's stay, hey, sent off to his grave.

And so siramay jumped down after him.

#danganronpa #the tale of depravity #siramay #makoto naegi #monokuma #mukuro ikusaba

4 notes · View notes

icharchivist · 3 years

Note

hello icha!! i finally got around to finishing the stranger haha,, by which i mean i just watched it today. was veryyyy excited for it as i really like the poster design for this one. anyways. this event starting w/ the sort of portrait format or whatever / that narration is like. god. threw me right back to autumn troupe. I kind of love that the storytelling format itself is so distinct for autumn! the moment I realized it was omi I started getting teary… like oh man oh man… omi…. And the connection with him taking photos! ahh!! now that I think about it… omi kind of seems a bit like early version tsumugi, huh? also I keep forgetting this man is a college student lol. suspension of disbelief I suppose. onto the play i think like. mankai should invest in a fainting courch for tsuzuru. i also went to watch the play and 1) im betting yuki had a hell of a time costume design wise like the vines on the body? such fun costuming wise and 2) the ethical implications of whatever this play has,,, fun fun. tsuzuru was clearly having some kind of thoughts. i love zeros design and am always up for a3 characters crossdressing bc 1) i think its fun and 2) the costume design. i also dearly wish this whole thing was animated bc I feel like it’d be o fun to see taichi act as zero. or at least I hope this event gets full voiced one day... moving on to the scene where omi adds soy sauce to the paella I know it’s just like haha homare funny so lets five him a lil bit but like everyone in autumn troupe making their comments on the paella and like homare just jumping in. homare autumn troupe besties. just thinking. also the way they just r like. no no no omi it’s fine if u made a mistake!! it’s ok! we like it (you) anyways <3 it’s got it’s own special taste. something something omi’s perfectly pleasant as he is now but even if he weren’t on his a-game and was dealing with all of the biker gang stuff they would love him just as hard. another thing that got me was omi telling banri that he’ll give him something sweet so juza will stop grinding his teeth in his sleep… guys… guys you’ll give him cavities…. mb omi is a college student after all lol.

anyways when i saw the actual costumes. appreciative of them, i like the lil circuit-esque detailing on banri’s outfit, and that sakyo and taichi (nine and zero) both share that like collar detail? its very symbolic and probably also literal but its a nice way to sort of signify their relation to each other visually! also sakyo just looks nice. seeing him without glasses is so great. whoever thought up the like two mole detail for him was doing gods work.

something that confused me was ryo mistaking juza for nachi for a split second? like. does juza… look similar to nachi? or was it just that ryo only heard juzas voice and made that mistake. if it’s appearance wise too. kumon nachi confirmed. I’m joking lol bc I feel like I would’ve heard at least something abt it in one of the like small conversation comments, plus that doesnt seem like itd fit summer troupes style and kumon is for sure the wrong age… but still.

i really like how for this event, the roles for taichi and omi were kinda reversed. and taichis just so like. idk. smiley. rly lifts ur spirits. its kind of nice how this event contrasts to that cg where taichi is crying on omi. I also think like. idk. considering the story of the stranger. wolf gives zero a sense of purpose and life and I think that zero helps wolf lose his apathy. it’s about “the stranger” and the ending makes him like… not a stranger, right? because he’s got a companion. in the same way, taichi brings omi out of his emotional isolation. the picture taking! also the stickers coming back… thats such a good setup! the found family of it all!!

when he was trying to work out zeros character as soon as taichi mentioned a sharp speaking style I KNEW it was Yuki… yuki would never be as honest as zero is though lol… to me i imagine she’s got a sort of juza internal monologue feel? anyways. the taichi yuki dynamic intrigues me. havent yet decided how I feel abt it but when I do… yes. sorry that I make literally no sense. I think it’s very obvious that yuki is my fav chara kind of? I’m just. hmmm it makes me think! I’ve been monologuing to myself abt the yuki and juza dynamic lately which, to my a3 knowledge so far, doesn’t exist, but its ok bc I’ll make it exist! uhhh anyways this event was very good i liked the pacing. i think it didnt drag too hard and it really properly honed in on just omi and taichi, which was quite nice. they really did a lot for just an event!

time to listen to the event song,,, ok so. ah. i rly enjoyed just for myself it was very much to my taste so. out of curiousity i was like ok lemme look up the composer / producer AND IT WAS YUYOYUPPE....... that guy is like!!!! one of my FAV producers ever!!!!!! i know him from like. his vocaloid days and god leia is still one of my fav songs to this day...! this knowledge gives me so much joy omg!!! like wow!! wowwww!!! like i knew yuyoyuppe was out there doing other stuff (i know he worked on a lot of babymetal music which is cool) but like idk. to suddenly encounter it like this. heheh.... its so nice! made me soooo happy. going to relisten to leia now haha

WAIT ONE MORE THING. i was like "haha let me look at other songs i remember liking a lot" which. for me was rakuen oasis and don't cry. anyways. rakuen oasis is ALSO by yuyoyuppe???? oh my god!!! oh my god... sigh. feel like im in heaven.

OH HI FRIEND!! so good to see you with an a3 update!! :D

godd yeah The Stranger started so strongly and the idea to still incorporate portraits in his story was really something to make us cry!

And linking Omi and Tsumugi like this is pretty interesting :O <hat is your reasoning exactly? :O

For the fainting couch for Tsuzuru LMAO and i'm letting you know there's a webcomics that addresses it in Act 2 (hough there's no spoilers aside from the fact Chikage is here)

Im glad you liked the costume and the play!!! yeah i love the designs and it is always a blast to see them this into it, and yeaaah Tsuzuru has thoughts huh. It'll get voiced sooner than later hopefully and there we'll see more in details :3c but also that's what made the seiyuu live so fun bc they perform the songs in play cosplay and replay a bit of the play everytime and it's *chief kiss*

HOMARE AUTUMN TROUPE SOLIDARITY YES. LOVING IT.

And yeah the scene itself was so cute TwT they all want to reassure Omi and be there for him it's so sweet :( but yeah i love how you say it all, Omiimi TwT

and dLKFJDFLKJFDFD Giving Juza cavities is the price to pay for sleep i guess??

yeah agreed on the costume they all look so cool! and nice catch on how those three seem linked like that with their costumes, Yuki (and the designers) does such a good job! and god yeah for Sakyo.. yeah. He has sucha good design dLKJFDF

aND DLKFJD yeah no Juza is supposed to look like Nachi physically, but mostly his face? like i think Nachi was had green hair? we see a sprite of him in a future story, and yeah, everything is in the eyebrows. so Kumon should be safe? Omi mentions he sees a lot of Nachi in Juza, and while it is mostly due to their passions i think, the fact they're also rough looking guy with a heart of gold must play a part as well. but yeah, he does look like Nachi a bit.

and i love your deeper analysis of the event yeah!!

I feel like Taichi is really an emotional core of the troupe in the sense that is, he tends to catch on what others are feelings easily. And he uses it in the early chapters to ease off the tensions and stuff, but he was being held back by knowing he was deceiving them. So now that he's more free, he can be more of himself. but yeah i also love the contrast with how Omi was the one to help Taichi through his breakdown and guilt, and now it's the other way around, it's Taichi helping him through it. and the parallelism between the play and their dynamic is spot on imo! well said!!

and god yeah the sticker things made me cry sO HARD, and the pictures! and everything!! sobs it's such a sweet found family i'm going to cry :(

And! i love what you say about Yuki, Taichi and Juza on this one. I love that Taichi keeps bringing it back to "that childhood friend" and it's always like. so obvious who it is for us rip. But it can make you wonder if Yuki was more honest as a kiddo when Taichi knew him, though now he's clearly not. I love the mention of how Zero is more like Juza's internal speech (which, if anything is another argument about why you should let Juza wear a dress, cOWARD)

but also your mention of the Yuki and Juza thing, while i can't think of them having a dynamic per se yet, but i actually wrote a post during my reread about how i was baffled at the fact they treated Muku the same way?? like both of them tried to push Muku away because they were scared of how people would react if they say pure, sweet Muku was associated to them. And i find it fascinating because i guess those two are pretty aware of how the world see them, and it used to stop them from fully allowing them to be themselves.

I also find it relevant with the fact Yuki says in his personal song that while all of this way people judge him weight on him, he rather be himself, and "I want to love myself". Meanwhile we have Juza who's also aware of the way people judge him and it weight on him, and he wants to change himself from this person he hates, this self loathing - and in a way, he can grow in a way to be "someone" he may not hate, even on stage. I feel like those two have quite a bit in common in this way of being rejected by their peers in some sort of way.

I really want them to share some stuff at some point because there's really a groundwork on it all :(

But i'm really glad you liked that event!! agreed on the pacing and i do love what it brings to the characters! it really fleshes them out and have them move forward a little and it's pretty sweet.

AND OMG THAT'S SO COOL FOR THE SONG!! i'm so glad you liked it, but that's incredible it turned out to be from one of your fav producer!!! ahah sometimes life is like that where you end up finding the stuff you loved back into new stuff! and the fact Rakuen Oasis was from him as well... that's so cool!!! just, so so cool!

im pretty sure he has more songs going forward so i hope you'll enjoy the ride even more!!

thank you once again for sharing your thoughts about a3 :3c it always makes me so happy to see them!!!

Thank youu <3 have a good day :3c

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #long post for ts

4 notes · View notes

lightsandlostbells · 4 years

Text

wtFOCK season 3, episode 1 reaction

So! It’s a million years too late, but I decided to talk about wtFOCK season 3.

I had fairly positive feelings about S1 of wtFOCK. It was the scrappy underdog of the Skam remakes, in a way, and what it lacked in polish, it made up for authenticity. I was very willing to overlook its flaws because of what I perceived as genuine attempts to connect with teenagers. I was really, really holding out hope that future seasons would improve on its flaws. And ... well. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t seen S2. Sorry! I just failed to keep up with all the remakes and S2 is my least fave so I didn’t feel that motivated to make it a priority, even though I did like Zoë a lot in S1.)

Heads up - I didn’t care for this season. A lot of people did, and I would never, ever want to ruin someone’s enjoyment of something, even if I personally didn’t like it. So please take this as a warning that I have a lot of negative things to say, and don’t read if it’s going to harsh your buzz for a pairing or a story that you deeply love. However, I didn’t want to just be grumpy and angry the whole time, so I tried to think of constructive ways to fix certain problems I had with this season. No guarantees that they’re satisfying solutions, but it was an interesting exercise.

Also, I didn’t watch this in real time, and I paid barely any attention to fandom reactions and/or drama, so it’s very possible that I am missing context, or that pacing issues didn’t register with me quite as strongly, etc. If one of the actors ate a live dolphin on Instagram, and then got into a fight with fans on Twitter about their right to eat live dolphins, and now fandom has canceled the problematic dolphin-eating actor, I legit do not know, do not come at me if I’m like “This actor is doing a good job” with “Wow, didn’t know you stanned dolphin-eaters??? YIKES.” Honestly, for the purposes of just grading this season on a storytelling level, I would prefer not to know anything about the cast or crew unless it directly has an impact on the show itself.

Clip 1 - House party

OK, I did like this flashy intro shot, immersing us in the Wild ‘n’ Crazy Teen Party of Wild ‘n’ Crazy Youths.

Amber rejecting every dude in site … When Will Gay Vilde Rise. (I know there have been some f/f storylines in the remakes, but if there’s one involving an actual Vilde, please let me know.)

Luca saying “We’re not walking around in a high school drama” - you can hear the rimshot.

I do like the transition from the party up to the bathroom, that’s a cool shot. wtFOCK’s directing so far is more ambitious than it was in S1.

Robbe is clearly a mess and they acknowledge his problems at home right off the bat.

We go back downstairs. wtFOCK’s version of Magnus knocks his drink on Amber and she gets pissed. She gives him the finger and he falls in love. Still a better love story than S3 Daphne/Basile.

It’s a small point, but I don’t get why we didn’t get this moment before jumping up to the bathroom with Robbe and the others? It would be a far smoother transition, just on a practical level and also in the sense of fully immersing us in Robbe’s POV after a quick update with the other characters.

Belgian Magnus joins the guys in the bathtub and announces he’s in love. They roast him when they find out it’s Amber and start talking about hot chicks. Moyo starts grilling Robbe about his type of girl, in a crass, sexual way.

This is honestly not a bad start to Robbe’s story at all. Robbe is clearly more reluctant to get into his interest in girls than Isak was - Isak was more fuckboyish from the start, Robbe seems like he’s about to start squirming and doesn’t really give an answer to Moyo’s questioning. Which is fine! I think it’s fine to start off the POV character at different stages of performing heterosexuality, as long as it’s taken into account in the writing of the character’s whole arc. The fact that the boy talk is so crude and sexual just ramps up Robbe’s alienation.

I swear, I will never understand how the girls in this scene just go into the bathroom and pee in front of strange boys … like maybe I am just a ~prude but that seems like a recipe for disaster and I would not trust those little fuckers to not be secretly recording me on the toilet.

Her peeing is kind of a power move, like marking her territory.

Also L M A O at Robbe starting to flirt with the girl while she is pissing … like now this comes off as a kink thing. OK, Robbe. Jokes aside, this gets across the same meaning as the scene with Isak: he starts to flirt with her because he was encouraged by the other guys.

Uh, flush the toilet, lady. And use some TP.

Now this version of Emma seriously radiates some Natalie Portman in The Professional vibes.

She orders him to stand up and then starts kissing him. I get way less of a vibe of Robbe’s mad game with women (like how Isak negged Emma into kissing him) and more like this girl is the love interest out of an indie romcom, all mysterious and spunky. She kisses him like once after taking his jay and then leaves. The boys all crack up. Moyo tells Robbe it’s his responsibility to get the weed back which lmao, no it’s not, all you assholes were there and could have intervened.

This scene is perfectly fine and even effective! Not entirely the same vibes as OG, but it still has a purpose and some obvious cause-and-effect, and there are some nice stylistic choices.

Clip 2 - Party pt. 2

Robbe is now making out with mystery girl. We already have a divergence in characterization from OG. Isak was being performative about making out with Emma and shut it down once the guys left. Robbe is making out with this girl because he wants to be straight, I guess? If it’s not to appeal to his friends, it’s likely that this is for himself. Again, I have no real problem with this change if it’s incorporated into Robbe’s overall arc and characterization. My thing is, if you’re writing this scene, do you realize the differences in characterization? Or do you think this is interchangeable from what happened with Isak? The latter is where you run into problems, because then the writing shows lack of nuance. I bring this up here because, well, you can guess how I feel about later events.

Luca seems rather aggro about the mystery woman, which I assume is because she still has the hots for Robbe?

It makes me laugh that we got this first-person POV as Robbe leaves through the garage, because of the “Smack My Bitch Up” song being played in the last clip (the song had an infamous music video, banned from MTV in the ‘90s, that was from a first-person POV). But again, WTFock is trying harder with the cinematography and direction, good for them.

Robbe ditches the cops by jumping on the bike with Belgian Emma. OK, I get it, Belgian Emma is too cool for school.

I have kinda mixed feelings on that, actually. I mean, I’ll be honest - I don’t see why any Emma has to be made into someone more palatable. Definitely don’t demonize her or present her in a misogynistic way! She deserves sympathy and dignity as much as any character on a Skam. But … it’s fine if she and the Isak aren’t like, amazingly compatible except for his sexuality. The Even character is supposed to be the one who really shakes up the Isak’s world! The Isak is supposed to be lost and confused and drifting and then Even comes in and is someone he can really open up to. Not just because he’s another guy who’s into guys, but because Even’s personality meshes with Isak’s so easily while still challenging him and introducing him to new things. In a way, it does kinda diminish the effect of the Even if the Isak meets ANOTHER mysterious stranger who’s an awesome person. Or at the very least, it lessens the feeling of the Isak’s detachment from everything.

And again, this could work if the writing realizes it. You can totally craft a subtly different arc from the pieces of Isak’s season. It’s just that (speaking from the future) I do not feel this is what happened.

Clip 3 - Tagging time

I don’t think it’s necessary to break up all the parts of a longer scene/set piece into a bunch of different clips. If you start a scene at 16:00, it’s OK to have the clip take place over several hours. You don’t need to chop it up unless there’s a reason why this pacing might benefit the story. Honestly, if you’re watching in real time, I think this method is often less effective at building tension/emotion/etc. But wtFOCK is not the first remake to try this tactic.

... this part where Robbe and Noor put on masks sure hits differently in 2020.

Belgian Emma’s name is Noor and she takes him to a warehouse, or something? It’s very secret and Cool Kid. And IDK, it’s fun, but again… I think making the Emma that much of a fun mysterious cool exciting person is very much diminishing the effect of Robbe’s isolation. We had a good start with establishing that alienation while he was in the tub, but now his reactions to her rad hipness feel way too sincere and act against the major character conflict of his season. He seems nervous to go with her, but not because he’s with a girl, just because it’s a risky scenario.

Noor hands Robbe a spray paint can and leads him to tag a wall. There’s a guy taking pictures. So I’m assuming one of the guys in masks is the Even? The POV seems to shift to the photo guy briefly, like we’re seeing Robbe through his eyes. And even though I’m not a fan of POV breakage, I do think this is a cool way to introduce the Even without really introducing him, you know? If that’s him. (EDIT from the future: Ummm, so that wasn’t Sander, right? I’m rewatching and it doesn’t look like him. Soooo that part has even less relevance than I originally thought. Got it.) (EDIT from the future beyond the future: @hellswolfie tells me that this actually was Sander, so I am just bad at recognizing people, lol.)

Robbe and Noor take off their masks briefly to kiss. Uhhhh, did the scene really just … cut off there? Because L M A O what a weird choice. We don’t get to see what Robbe creates on the wall, which could be a great way to establish his character, AND we end with him on a smiley, contented note which does not boost his POV at all. It legit just makes him seem like a guy who’s into this girl, and sorry, even if that’s his public persona at this point in time … that’s not what we, the audience should be getting at all.

Clip 4 - Boy squad morning after

Robbe skateboards to meet up with the guy squad. Again, the directing is far better IMO than in S1.

Robbe got the weed back so that conflict is over, I guess.

He gets a call from his mom and stops laughing with the guys and gets serious. He walks away to take the call. Then he starts to open up to Jens about his mom freaking out, and then Moyo spots some girls so they all ditch Robbe to go chase girls, and WOW, Jens, please turn in your Jonas card.

Don’t love that we didn’t hear his mom on the phone. There’s no reason not to let us hear what she’s saying since it would be in Robbe’s POV AND as it turns out, they just tell us about the situation with his mom right off the bat, anyway, so it’s not like there’s much point in hiding it.

This was effective in a sense to establish how girl-crazy his friends are, as well as setting up Robbe’s isolation, which I was worried wouldn’t come across as strongly after meeting Noor. But I think they could have NOT mingled in his mom issues to make this part more effective. Like if the goal was to show more of Robbe being alienated because he’s gay, then that’s not entirely successful, because there are non-gay reasons why Robbe wouldn’t join his pals on the girl chase. I mean, even a horny hetero Robbe might not want to chase girls with his bros because talking to his mom is a downer, so it’s not necessarily because of his sexuality. Plus he just found a girl he liked in Noor, so apparently, he’s not on the prowl. What this part IS communicating that the Belgian guy squad doesn’t have much interest in their friend’s family struggles, which ... ehhhh, maybe not great in the grand scheme of the storyline? These guys can be flawed, for sure, but we do need them to care about Robbe’s well-being. And Robbe tried to open up here, so the flaw is not in him, it’s in his friends. I’m going to let it slide because Jens was offering to help Robbe in the first clip, so it’s not like he’s been a totally insensitive friend this whole time.

Clip 5 - Phone call from Robbe’s dad

Noor jumps on Robbe and they make out. She shows him the garage and they talk about the tagging world or w/e. Again, not sure why they are portraying Noor as like … a legit love interest. I don’t get much of a sense of discomfort from Robbe. Isak was just not into Emma and was uncomfortable when his bathroom flirting came back to haunt him. And I don’t think it’s TERRIBLE not to follow that route, but you can’t just make this huge change if you don’t account for it in future episodes and Robbe’s overall arc. (EDIT from the future: Which I don’t think they do, otherwise I wouldn’t care.) Every scene should count in furthering Robbe’s character, especially this early in the season where we’re just getting to know his particular struggles. If Robbe is trying to convince himself to like girls, then I want to see definite vulnerability in how that’s portrayed.

I blame the directing/writing more than the acting for the lack of discomfort, since I sensed Robbe’s lack of comfort just fine in the bathtub scene.

Makeouts get interrupted when Robbe’s dad calls. Again, not sure why we aren’t hearing both sides of the conversation? Because we’re in Robbe’s POV. Why wouldn’t we hear them? This seems like they just want to create some suspense or mystery over the situation with his parents. But it’s perfectly possible to do so while still letting us in on the phone calls. In fact, it’s arguably more intriguing to let us listen to some phone calls where we get some vague details but nowhere close to the whole story. It’s not like Robbe’s dad is going to explain the whole situation to his son in an exposition dump. We can get some crumbs to tease us, while still keeping us in Robbe’s POV and not feeling like the show is cutting corners.

Robbe gets mad at his dad and tells Noor he needs to be alone. Closeup on Noor as Robbe walks away. OK … why? Why on her and not Robbe when it’s his POV? Why the focus on Noor’s feelings when we really need to be establishing our protagonist’s mindset in the beginning of this season? I’m not saying her feelings don’t matter, I’m saying that well, this isn’t her story. It would be better to see Robbe’s pained reaction as he leaves.

Clip 6 - Robbe’s dad drama

Jens comes running up while Robbe is being sad. Robbe says that it may be necessary for him to stay with Jens because Robbe’s mom has been committed to a mental health institution and Robbe doesn’t want to stay with his dad. Ah, so I guess we’re hearing that right away. Which honestly makes not hearing his phone calls to his parents even funnier - like you lock us out of his POV arguably for the suspense, but then you end the suspense anyway by just telling us what happened a scene or two later? All right. I guess there’s suspense in that we don’t know exactly what’s up with the mom, mental health-wise, or the root of Robbe’s problems with his dad.

It occurs to me that maybe they just didn’t want to hire people to voice Robbe’s parents? Or put in the time to film both sides of the conversation? I have a hard time believing either of those because it’s so lazy, but.

I mean, just turn the phone conversations into text conversations if you’re not going to let us listen to Robbe’s parents on the other end.

They go and play football without really resolving the situation. Sad music plays while Robbe joins in. Also, someone was calling Robbe, and I assume it was his dad, but it’s not shown.

These clips are VERY short and choppy so far. You could easily combine the last two, so Robbe is with Jens instead of Noor when he gets the other phone call from his dad, leading into this conversation.

We know immediately about Robbe’s mom’s situation instead of it being a mystery, like with Isak. Which, again, isn’t inherently wrong, but then I want them to DO SOMETHING with it.

Clip 7 - Jens and Jana

Oh hey, Jana got her braces off! IDK if that happened last season or this one, but it was something I liked, seeing a teenage girl with braces on a teen drama. That rarely happens unless it’s a joke or a plot point.

OK, they really need to film Robbe’s phone so I can actually see who’s calling…

Jens tells Jana about Robbe’s parental situation. I’ll note that first she asks if something’s up with Noor, so news of the Robbe/Noor relationship must have traveled really fast since they’ve only just gotten together. Like Robbe and Noor are clearly dating, going off Jana’s comment, and not just hooking up. Then Belgian Magnus wants to know about hooking up with Amber. Meanwhile Robbe is having a conversation off screen with his dad? Guess it wasn’t important!

And that’s the problem, obviously. It’s his POV season, anything you decide to show SHOULD be important to his storyline.

Also … it’s fine that we’re focusing on Robbe’s shit home life since that’s relevant to his story, but almost nothing in these clips has set up Robbe’s attraction to men, and only slightly his lack of interest in girls, which was negated by him seeming very interested in a girl afterwards. And knowing how long this season takes to get going with the Even character, it’s a pretty glaring omission.

So we don’t see Robbe’s phone call with his dad, but he gets snappy about it when Jens asks. One of the boys (I can’t tell who) says that Robbe’s on his period. Gonna be real, I don’t care for this squad so far.

What was the point of this clip? We already know Robbe is having problems with his dad, which is the most relevant part to the plot here. We shouldn’t be wandering from Robbe’s POV so much, but even taking that into account … we already know Belgian Magnus likes Amber, so that’s not necessary to establish. And we didn’t need to see Jens tell Jana something we already know. I assume he tells her so Zoë can find out and offer a room, but there’s no reason to see Jens tell Jana this, so. Filler clip.

Clip 8 - Zoë and Robbe at the lockers

Yeah, Zoë offers Robbe a place to stay here, but again, we didn’t need to see the news travel down the Jens-Jana pipeline. It could have been condensed more efficiently.

Robbe doesn’t want to because he says his dad wouldn’t approve. Zoë says she hopes things get better with his mom and Robbe at first snaps and tells her to leave it, then says thanks. This is an actual good interaction, writing-wise, kudos.

I liked Zoë a lot in S1 and I like her here again. I really should watch her season despite my Noorhelm allergy. The scene of them kinda smiling at each other across the hallways reminds me that this is probably the strongest relationship in the whole season, tbh.

Why was this clip so short? So many of these clips could have been combined into one. I mean, Zoë could have said, “I heard from Jana who heard from Jens...” without us needing the previous clip. Although, did Robbe really want anyone else to know about his home life? Lol @ Jens just blabbing Robbe’s private business.

So I guess they didn’t set up the Eskild situation in S2 that would lead to Eskild offering Robbe a place to stay?

Clip 9 - Robbe gets roommates

Robbe is in Zoë’s room. He sees her “everyone you know is fighting a battle” quote next to the mirror, which is a detail I actually quite like in context with the rest of this storyline and Even’s condition. It’s a good Skam thesis overall.

I guess Zoë met with Robbe’s dad. Zoë calls him a tough cookie. Robbe doesn’t want to speak to him. They bond a little over their parental problems. Again, a nice detail.

Belgian Eskild appears and teases Robbe a little before announcing that Robbe’s dad has agreed to let him stay in the flat. Yay!

Oh, so Senne is staying there, too? At least they didn’t do a pointless Noorhelm breakup in this version.

Milan (the Eskild) tries to go in for a hug and Robbe isn’t cool with it, so at least that’s something with Robbe’s issues with men. (I think? The thing is, Robbe also does not really know Milan, so it’s not as weird that he’s not ready to be affectionate with a near-stranger.) (EDIT from the future: Keeping the S2 almost-kiss that’s referenced in the next clip in mind, I can rationalize this moment as a continuation of that awkwardness from Robbe’s POV.)

They chat with Lisa (Linn) who wants to direct Robbe on what he is and isn’t allowed to touch in her room, heh. Milan and Zoë have cute interaction, and Robbe looks happy. I do like the flatmate vibe so far, they seem fun.

Clip 10 - Robbe and Milan

Senne and Zoë get cute. I haven’t seen S2 so I can’t give my opinion on their version of Noorhelm, but I did think a few things about them were less creepy in wtFOCK’s S1 than in OG. Milan talks about how they’re a Disneylike couple and Robbe laughs.

Then Robbe apologizes for something that evidently happened in S2, where Milan tried to kiss Robbe at a party? Again, I didn’t see the scene. Milan says he’d never try to do that. He offers Robbe a hug, which he accepts - tbh I don’t know if Robbe SHOULD accept based on where he is in his character arc, maybe he should have more skittishness? But it’s a nice character moment, at least. They really have to make up for lost time with the Robbe-Milan relationship, so I can get that they need to establish some closeness fast.

Not being in the wtFOCK fandom, I kinda wonder if there was backlash to that scene from before and this is damage control, LMAO.

I feel like you could’ve tweaked this to be more representative of Robbe’s issues, like have him stress here that he’s not gay, because it’s a sweet scene but again, I don’t feel like this episode built up Robbe’s internal dilemma very well. You could make this not just about smoothing over whatever bump there was in this relationship, but also about setting up some internal tension with Robbe’s sexuality issues. Multi-tasking - it’s great!

EDIT from the future: OK, I tracked down the S2 scene, and yeah, while it illustrates some of Robbe’s internalized homophobia, I really think you needed to carry this through to this clip. Because that was a very public situation, and they made a point of emphasizing onlookers’ reactions. I feel like you need to show that Robbe’s internalized homophobia isn’t just about external reactions, but internal struggles, because ... so far, that’s what it is? Like what is he doing with Noor otherwise?

Clip 11 - Housewarming party

Party is underway. Yasmina is there and is friendly with Robbe. It sounds like they’re working on a school project together. Aaron (Magnus) and Moyo are talking about hot chicks again.

Noor arrives and the boys tease Robbe about how far he’s gone, Robbe looks pretty chill and happy until Moyo says Robbe’s getting laid tonight and you can see the nerves and reluctance take over. Okay! A character detail that actually works for his arc! Yes!

Partying, makeouts with Noor … sorry but they are wasting a lot of time with this relationship. ROBBE ISN’T INTO HER. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to demonize any of Evak’s female “love interests,” right? It’s pointless anyway because Evak is the endgame pairing, Sonja and Emma aren’t “threats” in the end, but also because they’re not bad people just for wanting to date these two guys who happens to want each other instead. And I think you can do interesting things with Sonja and Emma as characters. I’ve read Sonja fanfic that’s really good!

But when it comes down to it … this is not the story of Robbe/Noor, and there’s a point where it feels like there’s too much development for something that is really intended to be a speed bump in Robbe’s journey.

I guess it’s a pet peeve of mine when gay stories devote a ton of time to het relationships, to the point where it begins to overshadow the main gay relationship. Love, Victor did this to an absolutely ridiculous degree. (I actually made notes for Love, Victor reactions, but hesitated to post them because 60% consisted of me typing I DON’T CARE ABOUT THESE STRAIGHT ROMANCES.) And I GET it, this is an experience many gay kids go through in their coming out journey, but also, less charitably… you don’t need het romance to dominate everything. You don’t need to make this about how a gay person being gay hurts a straight person. I genuinely appreciate that once Isak kisses Even, it’s fucking over with him and Emma, that plot thread is done.

Anyway, Noor tells Robbe he’s so fucking hot and Robbe looks more uncomfortable, moreso when she wants to see his room and he goes off like he’s headed to Mordor.

Aaron checking out Amber … okay, again with all the het. I don’t care!!! This is not important right now!!

Noor pushes Robbe onto the bed, ugh please don’t have them Go There.

She takes off her top and Robbe touches her boob like he’s sticking his hand into a porta-potty. We see his discomfort so at least this part is effective and relevant to Robbe’s arc. Noor is taking off her bra when the boys come into the room, wanting the weed. Okay, you dumb fucks, you’re teasing your bro about getting laid and yet you think it’s cool to enter his room when he’s with a girl? I mean, that’s a lucky break for Robbe, but his friends are extra stupid.

The mood is killed, Robbe goes hunting for weed. Episode ends.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THIS EPISODE:

Lmao, some of my changes sounded a lot like “be like OG Skam S3.” Because Skam S3 was well-written and made sense. But I tried to think of edits that worked with what wtFOCK was presenting, not just repeating OG.

(I’m also repeating a few things in this section that I said above, btw)

While this episode doesn’t make me angry or anything, it’s got a serious problem with dithering. The first clip is a solid start to the season, but afterwards, so many of these clips feel like filler. There’s a lack of substance to them. It was hard to write about them because they ended up feeling like two minutes of nothing.

Did we need to see repetitive mentions of Robbe’s troubled relationship with his dad? No, it’s an important plot detail but we could have established that more concisely in fewer clips. Did we need to see the process of how Robbe comes to stay with Zoë, Senne, and Milan? No, not really. Or at least not dragged out over at least three clips.

I don’t feel like I’m in Robbe’s head to the extent that I should be so far. Some of this is because the show just flat-out locks us out of his POV, like not showing the phone call in the Jens-Jana clip. But a lot of it is also because of the narrative dawdling. There’s just not as much to analyze unless I bring in Skam season 3 and project what we know about Isak onto Robbe. And that’s not a good way to adapt a story.

The framing of Robbe/Noor needs to change. Combine the bathroom intro with the aborted sex scene - the boys are sitting in the tub, teasing Robbe about getting laid, so he makes out with Noor and they go into a bedroom where he’s clearly not into this, and then Moyo and Aaron come in asking for weed because Robbe still actually has the weed from the bathtub at this point. Or do what Skam France did (can’t believe I’m referring to Skam France) and have the arrival of the cops interrupt the makeout/sex session and Robbe takes his cue to exit.

But frankly, it’s not great to have Robbe acting or looking too cozy with Noor, like this is a legitimate romantic arc except when it gets to the sex. The point is that this isn’t a romance. Even if you want to show some cuddly, non-sexual scenes with Noor, you have to show more of Robbe’s reluctance and fear throughout.

Show Robbe’s fucking phone conversations with his parents!!!! Good Lord. He’s not ordering a pizza. These are important aspects of his story. Capitalize on that family tension, show us what a bad place Robbe is in at the start of this season.

Now, about the lack of Even in this episode. Not introducing Even is a bold move, but not necessarily a smart one. Even’s introduction in Skam is not just the intro of “the love interest” - he’s the catalyst for almost everything in Isak’s story. Consider that in episode 1, Isak is seen mostly unhappy and bored - he’s distraught after kissing Emma, he’s checked out of his friends’ lunchtime girl talk, he zones out staring at his teacher’s boobs, he doesn’t want to be at kosegruppa. Isak is actually very passive and just going through the motions, doing what people tell him to do. But once Isak meets Even at kosegruppa - well, that’s when Isak wakes up. In the next few clips, we see Isak taking action. And sure, they’re small actions, searching for Even online, watching the Even video over and over, asking Vilde if there will be more kosegruppa meetings. But we can see that Isak now cares about something, he’s paying attention. Of course, Robbe’s story doesn’t have to follow the same arc. However, it does the season a huge benefit to get him intrigued by something at this point, so we the audience are not just sleepwalking along with him for a few episodes.

There’s also just the simple fact that we have only 10 episodes to establish a love story and make us care about the Even character, and it’s a very risky move to waste too much time. If you are really killing it with the rest of Robbe’s arc, this could still work, but ... well, that’s not what’s happening here.

If they didn’t want to full on introduce the Even directly, one thing they could do is subtly and indirectly find ways to include him in the narrative and create some mystery. Let’s say Robbe sees the Even’s artwork somewhere and is like whoa, that’s cool, and we can tell that it resonates with him. Or he admires Even’s graffiti, or it makes him laugh, whatever. Basically Robbe has some kind of emotional reaction to a thing the Even has created or done, which helps to set up that relationship even before we officially meet the Even.

If we want to add a little more, perhaps Robbe sees a mysterious dude in a mask tagging a wall, but they get interrupted by the cops or something and have some kind of brief but intriguing interaction with each other, and Robbe’s like, who was that guy in the mask? Or Noor takes Robbe to the tagging place, the police/security bust them, Robbe and Noor get separated, and Robbe gets helped out by the Even so he can escape. So it’s an important moment, lots of adrenaline, we can frame it like there’s a sudden ~charge~ between them (ooOOOooo the Even helped Robbe stand up and their hands touched like this was a fanfic, etc.), but he doesn’t learn Even’s name, maybe he doesn’t even see his face because Even has a mask on, so Robbe spends part of the next few episodes trying to figure out who that guy is, casually asking Noor if she knows a guy like that, keeping his eyes open. Maybe we have some fakeouts where Robbe thinks he sees the Even again but it’s just a false alarm. He’s on edge, eager to know more about that mystery guy, and so are we. Bam, we have “awakened” Robbe from his deep sleep.

If you’ve seen Netflix’s The Get Down, there’s even a scene like this where Jaden Smith’s character gets caught tagging by the cops, he runs and flees with another young dude, and they have a moment where they recognize each other as graffiti artists they admire. While watching that scene for the first time, without any context or spoilers, without even knowing if there would be LGBT content in that show, I immediately thought, “This guy is his love interest.” Not even because it was overtly romantic. Because the way it was written and shot told us that this meeting was important. Because they had an instant connection. Something similar could have worked for Robbe and his Even. But in any case: it would have been best to establish something between those characters, even if it wasn’t an “official” introduction.

Stop focusing on Aaron/Amber when it’s not in Robbe’s POV. Reverse the scene at the beginning with Aaron videotaping and Amber getting spilled on. She gets pissed, he falls in love, and then we follow him upstairs and we meet the boy squad. That is a very obvious, very clean transition that doesn’t interrupt Robbe’s POV as it technically hasn’t started yet. So IDK why they didn’t do that, lmao.

Some changes with the Milan relationship:

Tweak the apology scene to be more representative of Robbe’s issues. Have Robbe apologize while still stressing that he’s not gay. Have Milan be chill and not question that statement, but maybe Robbe is so defensive that it comes across as unconvincing.

Then have Milan be the one instead of the boys to interrupt the Noor almost-sex scene. Milan wanders in acting drunk, haha Milan, he’s wacky. Robbe doesn’t realize it (though the viewers do if they’re paying attention) but Milan is only pretending and is “subtly” rescuing Robbe because he realizes, based on the earlier scene, that Robbe might be struggling with his sexuality and he wants to give him an escape option. (Although I still think it’s best to combine the not-sex scene into the opening clip, but this could work, too.)

Basic questions we need to be asking, clip to clip: what is the conflict? Where is Robbe��s head right now? Why is this scene necessary? How did this scene come to be - what’s the cause and effect here? How does it advance Robbe’s story? Is it redundant? How do we tell this story in a narratively economical manner?

#wtfock reactions

25 notes · View notes

seyaryminamoto · 3 years

Note

I really hate how the OP identified azula as ENTJ, coz as an INTJ I can confirm that homegirl is an INTJ to bones. We actually have the same situation im an INTJ but people often see me came off as an ENTJ just because I'm a leader for every activity I need to deal with my classmates with authority and have to crush down the awkwardness I feel talking with them for the project to be successful.

... I am not sure which OP you’re talking about but I think I understand the debate nonetheless xD

I’m INTJ as well, and I see more than enough similarities between Azula and INTJs too. The thing is, not every personality is the same, even amongst INTJs there’s some differences in character such as Assertive or Turbulent (I, apparently, am a Turbulent INTJ and I’d suspect Azula is more of an Assertive one?), so we have a lot of traits in common but maybe we approach certain situations differently.

At any rate, ENTJs and INTJs aren’t all that different by logic, but I do agree that they’re different enough. Sokka, for instance, seems to be a perfect ENTJ, I don’t think any other MBTI works for him. Meanwhile, Azula can fit either ENTJ or INTJ to varying degrees: I was talking with a friend the other day and we were debating whether Azula is introverted or extroverted, and to this moment it’s almost a coin toss. It really hinges a lot on your personal interpretation of the character: I lean more towards introverted, but I don’t think she’s a classic introvert in the sense of being shy or wanting to be isolated from people (the latter sounding more like something that describes Mai). Yet I also can acknowledge that popular opinion, and interaction with others, is very important for Azula, to the point where not being successful in social environments seems to plague her pretty badly in The Beach.

Looking at sites that talk about the differences in the duality between (E) and (I)...

Extraversion (E)

I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I'm excited when I'm around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen. I generally feel at home in the world. I often understand a problem better when I can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say.

The following statements generally apply to me:

1. I am seen as "outgoing" or as a "people person."

2. I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.

3. I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.

4. I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don't allow enough time to think it over.

5. Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.

Source

Meanwhile...

Introversion (I)

I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I'll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing.

The following statements generally apply to me:

1. I am seen as "reflective" or "reserved."

2. I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.

3. I prefer to know just a few people well.

4. I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don't move into action quickly enough.

5. I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience.

Source

Once you look at those two descriptions, there’s some traits in the first description that can fit Azula, including that she even called herself a “people person” at one point in the show (though she isn’t necessarily right about it, but still...). She also seems to enjoy being involved in action, to making certain things happen (she’s the one with the agency and initiative throughout The Beach, for instance, that’s not her father telling her to do things, it’s Azula who tears down a sand castle, drags the others to play Kuai Ball, ensures to get invited to a party and then who seems to have the idea for the house trashing that happens later), so it’s not completely farfetched to say she has some (E) traits.

Buuuuuut... when you look at the (I) traits, it actually fits really well. Azula doesn’t limit herself to merely taking action, she thinks things through. The (E) description suggests carelessness, not reflection, not proper pondering or weighing of situations, and going by Azula’s behavior throughout Book 2 and the first half of Book 3, she is absolutely not that careless and instead plans things for ages in advance... which fits (I) so much better. Azula also only seems to have two friends, and is shown deliberately choosing them over a whole Royal Procession, which again fits (I) far better than (E).

Therefore... It’s very difficult to say which one suits Azula perfectly, and that’s why I believe it hinges STRONGLY on how you perceive and headcanon the character. I think that Azula is pretty much standing in close to the middle of this particular duality, sharing enough traits with both sides to make her waaaay too complex to categorize bluntly in either thing. I’ll say, outright, that I write her as more of an (I) than (E) in terms of how she socializes, quality over quantity, pretty much? But in terms of how she reacts in situations of peril or situations that require someone to take the wheel, she’s absolutely going to jump ahead and take charge immediately, something that makes people think of (E) rather than (I), as you said yourself.

In the end, I can’t get particularly angry at anyone who headcanons her as ENTJ rather than INTJ, I’ve seen arguments for either side, I know neither thing is all that far from the truth... but I also suspect Azula may be a little too complicated for MBTI to apply to her character flawlessly, regardless of which personality type is chosen to categorize her. There’s always going to be pros and cons to either ENTJ or INTJ placements for Azula (the classic understanding for (I) is we’re shy and basically allergic to social situations, which can feel out of place with Azula because she WANTS to be part of social situations, and the problem hinges in that she doesn’t exactly know how to be part of them due to her horrible, sheltered upbringing...), so I don’t really have a personal stake in this particular debate. I’ll likely continue to write her leaning more towards INTJ than ENTJ because I usually work with either post-canon Azula, who I headcanon as far more reflective and less action-driven, or with Gladiator Azula, who as well has become a lot more reflective and who didn’t see as much action at 14 years of age as she does in canon. But if some people prefer to write her as ENTJ, as long as she still feels enough like herself, I’ll be okay with it too. I also don’t mind at all the analysis of Azula and Sokka as two different takes on what ENTJs can be like, it was pretty cool to see it, even though there’s also great meta out there on what makes ENTJs and INTJs great matches too xD

Soooo... what can I say aside from: headcanon what you wish to. If you’re here, in my blog of all places, you must know I disagree with like... 99% of common and popular fandom opinions xD doesn’t matter how big a blog may be, or how loudly they shout whatever opinions they may have, you as an individual are absolutely allowed to disagree, and there’s really no one in this world who can tell you your interpretation of a character is less valid just because the rest of the fandom doesn’t share it.

#anon #Azula's MBTI debate #:'D #sorry if this wasn't too helpful #but hey #I see her as INTJ too in general #so we're more or less in agreement xD

8 notes · View notes