#also what are you doing on my blog if you hate what you see on here?

[wingsofachampion]

OOC

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not mad at anyone. I love the Pokemon IRL community, and I'm so so happy to be a part of it. And I don't plan on leaving for good anytime soon.

But. Look.

This is getting out of hand.

I've been here since November of 2022, and I haven't seen things being this bad in the community since The Incident.

I'm trying as hard as I can to hold things together, even when it seems like everything's falling apart. But it's getting really exhausting.

So that's why I'm making this post.

There's a lot of problems happening in this community, and I'm going to try to address at least a few of them in this post.

So, here we go.

Part 1: Anon Hate & Other Harassment

There's unfortunately a lot of this in the community. I've been a victim of it myself.

Anon hate is a serious problem that has led several pokebloggers to completely disable anon asks or even leave the community entirely.

I'm not sure how to combat this, unfortunately, other than blocking them as they come, but that's an imperfect solution.

There's also been direct harassment, too, not just through anon asks. I'm unsure how to tackle that either, but I'm spreading awareness just in case.

Part 2: Lack of Engagement

There's a ton of blogs that get little to no engagement, and not for a lack of trying. Pixelated made a great post on this already, so I won't rehash it much.

My main advice is to send asks. That goes both ways. If you see someone struggling to get engagement, send them an ask, brighten their day!

And if you're struggling to get engagement, send asks to as many blogs as you feel comfortable. That way, you put your name out there.

I know it can be scary to send asks, but if it helps, you can send one to me! I won't bite!

Part 3: "Cliques"

There's a lot of subcommunities in the Pokemon IRL community. Eebydeebies, Fallers, Blueberry Academy, and so on. And that's great! What's not so great, though, is how some of these can be rather cliquey.

Sometimes, it's hard to join a subcommunity. Sometimes they push you away, are just difficult to fit in a new blog, or something else.

I've been trying to remedy this in the eebydeeby subcommunity by having Gen send asks to every new eeby blog I can find, but I'm not in every subcommunity, so I can't do this for all of them.

What I suggest to remedy this is, those in subcommunities, reach out! If you see someone trying to join, reach out and welcome them in! Send them asks! Tell other people in the subcommunity about them! Let them know that they're welcome there.

Part 4: Lack of Warnings During MMM

This one is something that mostly just affects me personally, but Muse Mixup Madness has been extremely stressful for me because people keep completely changing up their blogs with little to no warning.

One of my worst triggers is post-apocalypse, and I've been jumpscared by this several times during Muse Mixup Madness by blogs that were previously safe.

Please warn what your Muse Mixup Madness stuff will contain, and please use content warnings, too.

Part 5: New Blogs Dying

This is one of the ones I'm saddest about. Almost every day, there's at least one new person trying to join Pokemon IRL, but 75% of the time their blog dies within a week.

I recommend supporting newcomers as much as you can. If you see a newcomer, send them an ask! Interact with them! Boost them if you feel comfortable with it! Don't let them feel so discouraged that they leave so soon.

I recommend checking the reblogs on realpokemon's pinned post every so often. It's a fantastic way to find new blogs.

Part 6: Exhaustion & A Call for Help

I've been trying very very hard to fix things, but I'm only human (as much as I wish I was a Meganium). I can't do everything by myself.

So I'm asking for help.

I have two blogs primarily made for boosting. @pkmnirlblogboosting and @tacklrnews. Former is OOC, while the latter is IC.

Pkmnirlblogboosting is for boosting blogs that either have less than 75 followers, or are less than a month old. If anyone wants to help me run it and boost blogs, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to pkmnirlblogboosting.

Tacklrnews is for reporting on events that are happening in-character. Its primary purpose is to boost stuff happening on people's blogs that they want more people to see and interact with. If anyone wants to help me with this, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to tacklrnews.

A caveat with tacklrnews: It's fully in-character, so you'll need to create a character for it to be a part of Pelipper's little news agency. It also writes articles on Pokemon RPC and Pokeask blogs, so to people in those communities, this offer is open to you all, too.

I hope these will both be helpful in revitalizing the Pokemon IRL community.

Part 7: Moving Forward

So, how do we move forward?

I think we should be more supportive towards others in this community. Less OOC anon hate and harassment, more engagement and boosting. Tell your fellow blogrunners how much you appreciate their blogs! Let them know they have people who care about them.

I love this community so, so much. I don't want it to fall apart and die. I'm doing everything in my power to keep it standing, but I'm just one person. I need your help, too.

Together, we can make this community better.

That's about all I had to say.

If you've read this far, thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to read through this.

I'd appreciate any reblogs to spread this around, but don't feel pressured to if you don't want to.

I hope you all have a wonderful Pride Month.

-Bench

#ooc

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Commonly asked questions

How do I submit songs? Submissions are currently closed. When it opens up again, I'll post a message here stating rules and which specific info I require. If you don't supply that info along with the song, your message will be deleted.

I submitted a song when we were allowed. When will it appear? :) There's waaay over two thousand songs in my askbox. 😅 And I'm very slow at posting submitted songs because it takes an oddly more amount of time and energy than you'd think, that's why it's easier for me to go with the songs I already have. Please have a bit more patience, hopefully it'll be posted soon enough! 💖

I don't like the genres posted recently. 🤷‍♀️ I mean, you can tell me what genres there's a lack of and I'll try put more effort into adding more of them.

I don't like the poll options. 🤷‍♀️

Will there be an "Indifferent" option? No. People bitched and very rudely demanded it when the blog was new and it left a very sour taste. Also we're 250+ songs in, it's kinda meh to add it now, but I definitely understand why you want it because some songs are really hard to define if you feel anything at all about them. (also you know people would just click indifferent to see the results instead of listening to the song lol) If I were to ever add more options, it would be love/hate.

How do I vote on a song if I feel indifferent about it? Indifferent = don't like it ig. 🤷‍♀️ Remember, I'm not asking you if you LOVE!!!!!! the song, or if you want to buy it. Liking can be as good as only a "meh, it's ok / decent enough to run in the background". Disliking can be being indifferent instead of outright hating it, when it's so neutral to you that it doesn't give you any positive feelings. It is only a minute long clip that I'm asking you to form an opinion about after all; you can change your mind either way when you hear the full version. Sometimes songs have to grow on you!

How do you pick the songs used in the polls? Mostly like this:

I have a huge mp3 hoarding archive so the submitted songs are easier for me to pick if they're already in my possession. 😅 Songs that aren't in my collection (tagged as #new to admin :D lol. sometimes i search out songs specifically for the poll that are tagged this as well) requires a bit more effort to download/listen to/edit but i have discovered a couple of great new gems so don't think i don't appreciate them!

How do I search for a specific artist/song that you've posted? All artists are tagged a day or so after the song reveal. Don't forget to use the hashtag symbol when searching or tumblr will give you all sorts of odd results!!!! (or none at all, lol) Please also remember that tumblr finds simple easy tasks extremely difficult, so only search for an artist with the easiest type of spelling, like #beyonce instead of #beyoncé. All artists and songs are added to the Complete Song List once their showdown poll is finished, for a quick search of what's been posted.

The audio quality is too poor for my taste!! 😡 sad </3

This is just for you. 💖

Why are all the songs of such vast variating quality? ....i mean, you didn't think I've bought all the tens of thousands of songs in my music library, did you...? Pirating songs gives you variations of quality, hell even my own cd rips have variations. It's easier to get better quality files now than it was back in the days, kiddos, so yeah some songs in the archives needs to be updated with new files. I have some very ancient mp3's that are in really low sound, that i've instead downloaded newer versions of in better quality for the polls but y'all still give me shit about it because the artist have remastered the track to unrecognition or whatever so there's just no pleasing some people i guess lmao. 😂

Do you like all the songs you've posted? No, lol. All the songs that are in my archive are songs I've at least liked enough once upon a time to save them, even if I'm not actively listening to them much anymore. Everything tagged as #new to admin :D are new songs to me that I may or may not like, regardless if they're submitted or if I've scouted them out myself only for the polls. :) Songs that I hate so much that I can't stand them are very few, and I won't waste time on adding them!

Did you change the song in the poll?? No. Maybe you clicked on the wrong one if I posted them too close together or maybe (most likely) tumblr has screwed something up for you. Some songs don't even show at times because it's tumblr being tumblr, just wait it out for a few minutes and tumblr will eventually remember to play the audio. So far there's only one song that I had to re-upload because tumblr killed the file. I can change the clip to better audio or to another part of the same song, but I never replace it to a different one once it's out there for you to vote on, I don't see the point of doing that.

Why are some polls audio files and other video files? Again: tumblr being tumblr. They won't allow some songs to be uploaded as audio, but using them in videos is ok. I hate the audio-as-video format and it requires even more effort from me so I'm not doing it on purpose. :)

I don't remember if I've heard this song before or not. If you know you've heard it, like if you're a fan or a hater or the song has been constantly played on the radio, you know it. (this is why the phrasing has been changed again in the latest polls) If you don't remember it, or just vaguely, or just a specific tiny part used in a meme/tiktok video, choose first time. The only thing that matters is the yes or no, knowing it or not is just an added fun but don't take it too seriously. :) Look at it sort of like "old fan/casual listener/hater vs new listener".

The part of the song that you posted SUCKS!!!! You should have just posted this one specific famous part for people to vote yes! "don't post the actual song in this song poll" ...................................like, no. not gonna post just the meme-bits or the drops or the whatever. Yeah i saw all the comments how you all clicked dislike on "Out of Touch" because you voted before you got to the chorus 😂 That's an honest opinion about the song lol, because a song is more than just a catchy chorus or a big drop. But yeah, sometimes one verse of a song would've maybe been better to post instead of that other verse, I'm with you on that.

I queued this song to see what it is but it's still stated as being Anonymous for me! Reblogs, drafts and queues will only show you what's there at the time, like a screenshot. It won't update automatically. All your reblogs, drafts and queued posts from when the poll is active will only show up as Anonymous songs. Always go back to the original post to see the song reveal. If the info isn't there, then give me a day or two to update the post because most likely things are too busy irl. 💖

I voted wrong/voted before I recognized the song! Will you change my vote? No, I'm not recounting anything wth. 😅

I'm embarrassed. I like the song but I don't want others to know that I do. I promise you that nobody but you can see how you've voted. Not me or your mutuals. Only you see what you've voted on. It's ok to like bad songs, and it's ok to like good songs by bad people. Don't let others shame you for that.

How do I vote on this cover/remix that was posted instead of the original? If you feel like this version is close to the original that you like, vote yes. If you don't feel like this version does the original song justice, vote no, even if it hurts.

This song that I don't know samples another song that I do know. How do I vote? I don't consider samples being used as being the same song, so pick first time. Unlike covers/remixes, the original song that has been sampled might show up at a later time, if it hasn't already been on here before.

How does so many people not know this song!!? Everyone is not your age/not from your country and your experience is not universal. 🤷‍♀️ That being said, I too get wtf-moments sometimes because some songs really do get wacky results, so, yeah 😂

Have you ever thought about-- Yes.

I demand you give me a rickroll!!!!!! Ask things nicely instead of demanding things from me. (This is the most common demand I've gotten, sigh. Thanks to those of you who have at least asked nicely and/or with a sense of humour!)

Please do a rickroll? It's already been posted in a bonus poll. It might show up in a "real" poll in years from now if this poll blog is still active but as of now it was added to a tumblr meme post where it was better suited.

I'm gonna ignore that submissions are closed and send you song suggestions anyway!!!! They will be deleted because they're not asked for atm. Unless you're the artist. Exceptions can be made in that case. :)

This poll blog doesn't respect my requirement to know who the artists are before I listen to their songs because of my need - that is very important that everyone else needs to acknowledge and follow - to know if a person is of a good moral standing according to my own views!! 😡 There's other poll blogs better suited for you. Not everything online has to be adjusted to fit *your* particular needs. 🤷‍♀️ (YES i've actually gotten this demand way too often. Sigh.)

Why was my reblog hidden from the notes where I spew hatred over an artist?! You are censoring me!!!! Did you mention the artist by name, or other obvious spoilers? Don't post spoilers. 🤷‍♀️

You hid this other comment I made with no spoilers!!!!! Sometimes comments show in dashboard mode but not in app mode and vice versa, or not even in the notifications. Haven't we already established that tumblr finds easy stuff extremely difficult? Also, sometimes you and I don't share an opinion of what a spoiler means. To all of you who have claimed an artist's name isn't a spoiler, yeah it's kind of a big one. As for the artist mentioning their own name or the song title in the song, you only hear that once you listen to the clip. Knowing it before even clicking to play the music is a spoiler.

Why have you turned off replies? I want to say things without reblogging!! I mean 🤷‍♀️ I'm sure you know why. Replies and anons have been turned off from the very beginning. The few times replies actually have been turned on, it's been stated as such and been very temporarily, like when we've discussed music in some post.

Turn on anon!!! I'm to shy to say thing off-anon! I mostly reply to things privately, or this blog would be nothing but q&a. Anons are off for a reason. Abuse and death threats are to be associated with the sender's account for all to see. I'm always nice to nice people so there's no need to worry about sending me questions or tagging me in things. :) 💖

I demand you to-- Pay me. :)

Shut up and take the abuse thrown at you personally because you're just a poll blog! You are aware that the poll blogs on tumblr aren't actually run by bots, right? Don't be an obnoxious twat. (and ughh yes, this too has been said to me several times. Sigh.)

I want you to add this song I want RIGHT NOW and/or i WANT these other options added now! Rich people can always break all the rules, just like irl. Just give me the $$$$ 😘

I don't like this song because I don't understand the language. Please only post English songs. Ok well, I mean, you can always learn other languages. 🤷‍♀️ Just like how I learned English.

If anyone feels targeted by these last questions without me meaning to, I'm sorry. These actually are the most common questions and comments and demands I've gotten in my askbox. Especially when the blog was new and people Demanded Their Rights to have me adjust everything to suit them. Don't feel like you can't state your thoughts in reblogs or in messages because as long as you're not being rude to me, my attitude on some answers isn't targeted at you, only at them. 💖 Remember to just have fun with the polls and hopefully you and/or your mutuals discover new music!

#qna

[buckys-wintersoldier]

Soo BBG, since you decided to challenge me I’d like to offer you the same challenge:

Slutty Drabble, the first character you think of~

Have fun and Take. Your. Time. Don’t want you stressing yourself alright?

Just a little bit where dark!Bucky punishes you.

Ohhhh bbg, I had a lot of thought since I got your request but I guess this one will be the best?😏😏

Pairing -> Dark!Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Warnings -> 18+, Minors DNI, smut, dark!Bucky, mean!Bucky, jealousy, oral (male!receiving), deep throating, using of a toy (fem!receiving), degrading

“Think you can look at my best friend like a little whore, huh? Fuck, take it you fucking little slut,” Bucky say through gritted teeth. His cock pushing further down your throat and you gag around his huge length.

He hates when you look at another man, not caring who it is. When he is talking to someone your eyes have to be either on him or on the ground, how can you even dare to look at someone who isn’t Bucky?

“Such a slut, cock hungry little whore. Think you can look at him without consequences?” He growls, thrusting his cock in and out of you.

Honestly, he loves to see your fucked up look. Kneeling in front of him, big, watering eyes looking up at him while he uses you like he pleases. A sex toy pushed into your pussy, hitting all the right spots while you’re not allowed to come. In case you do, he has a worse punishment for you and Bucky has stamina, he can fuck you all night without problem, denying all your orgasm until you almost pass out.

Your fingers dig into his thick thighs while saliva runs down your chin and over your chest. Bucky loves that, he could let you suck his cock all day, making you choke on it.

Your walls clench around the toy in your tight, dripping pussy but you’re too focused on recognising it. You try to press Bucky away, needing a moment to breath but he doesn’t give it to you, just thrusting in a brutal and fast pace into your mouth, smirking when you try to cough.

“Fucking whore, see what you’re doing to me? Turning me into an animal. You made me fucking jealous and I hate it, but won’t lie — love seeing you fucked up in front of me, taking my cock like the slut you are,” he groans, finally pulling out of you.

You immediately inhale deeply, your mouth and throat aching. Bucky’s big hand grasps your hair, pushing you closer to his cock.

“Take my fucking balls in your mouth, come on. Now you want that, want to suck my balls. Both, doll! Take them both or make you,” he groans when you lick over them before you try to get them both into your mouth.

Bucky’s balls are huge and you struggle to get them both into your mouth. But you also don’t want him to help you because you know he isn’t in a mood to play games or be soft.

“Fuck, that’s it. Yeah, suck them. And don’t you dare to come over the toy,” he says, looking at your grinding hips. He knows you’re close but he doesn’t want you to come just yet, you haven’t earned it and the night is long and Bucky has to punish you for being such a whore.

“Good girl, taking my balls in your slutty little mouth. Fuck, come, take them, fucking suck them whore. And then we are going into the bedroom, how does that sound? Yeah you like that, huh, whore? Like the thought of being tied up to the bed, letting me fuck you like the fucking slut you are,” he mumbles, already thinking about a few ways he is going to fuck you before you get his cock and before he even thinks about allowing you to come — because when you come only over his cock.

Taglist: @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @bucky-barnes-lover @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @somnorvos @meowmeowyoongles @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry @capsbestgirl77 @nervouseden @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel @mrs-katelyn-barnes @sasha-writing @fanfictionreaderfan

#dark bucky smut #dark!bucky x reader #dark bucky x reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky x you #dark bucky x you #dark bucky barnes #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader smut #bucky smut #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x yn #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #james barnes x y/n #james barnes x you #james barnes x reader #bucky x fem reader #bucky x female yn #bucky x f!reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader fanfiction

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)

Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Warning: cursing

Word count: 9.8k

Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au

Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

Later that day

I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?

I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.

Friday (11:30 am)

I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)

Friday (12:50 pm)

I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)

Friday (15:26 pm)

I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)

My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.

            Saturday (9:09 am)

I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)

            Saturday (17:40 pm)

I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?

I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.

“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.

“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.

“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.

“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.

“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.

“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.

But I couldn’t.

            Sunday (1:01 am)

I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?

『When you came along, I knew what was wrong

If you want to know exactly what I've missed』

            Monday (present time)

            It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.

I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.

“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”

“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”

“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”

Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.

“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.

“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.

“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”

“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.

“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”

“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.

“Promise?”

“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”

“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.

“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.

“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”

“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”

“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”

I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”

“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.

“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”

“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”

“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.

“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.

The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.

And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.

“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.

“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.

“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”

“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”

“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.

“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”

“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”

“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.

“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”

“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”

“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”

“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”

When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”

“Can we stop talking about Min—”

“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.

“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.

“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.

“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—

“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”

“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.

“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”

“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”

“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.

“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.

“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.

“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.

“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”

A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.

“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.

            Monday (16:58 pm)

I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))

            Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!

And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.

As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.

Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it.  And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?

“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”

And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.  

“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”

“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”

“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”

I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”

“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”

“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.

“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.

“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”

“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.

“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.

“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”

“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.

“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.

“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.

“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”

“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.

“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.

“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.

“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”

“It was my idea to come here—”

“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”

Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”

“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.

“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.

“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.

I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.

“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.

“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.

“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.

“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”

“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”

“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.

“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.

“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”

“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.

“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.

“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.

“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”

I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”

“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.

“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”

“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.

            Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.

“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.

“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.

“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”

“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.

“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”

“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.

“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”

“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.

“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”

“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”

“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”

“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”

Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”

Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.

“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”

When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”

“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”

Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”

There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?

“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.

“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”

“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.

“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”

“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”

“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”

“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”

“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.

“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.

“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”

“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”

“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.

“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”

When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.

“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.

I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.

“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”

“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.

“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’

I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.

“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.

“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.

“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.

“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.

“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.

“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.

“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”

“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.

“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.

I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.

Have I started falling for Song Mingi?

『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

You're what I've been chasing

Show me where my days went』

❱❱ Next chapter

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❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))

I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol

also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^

#bvidzsoo #cromernet #song mingi #mingi #mingi ateez #mingi oneshot #song mingi oneshot #mingi x reader #song mingi x reader #ateez mingi #mingi smut #song mingi smut #mingi angst #song mingi angst #mingi fluff #song mingi fluff #song mingi ateez #song mingi fanfic #mingi fanfic #ateez series #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez x reader #mingi scenarios #song mingi scenarios #mingi imagines #song mingi imagine #ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios

[jewelleria]

What are you always on about? The whole hamas rape thing has been debunked by AP and other sources. And as far as dead Zionists go? They deserve it. Every single Zionist occupying Palestinian land deserves to die. Simple. You won't get sympathy from anyone in the world for a dead Zionists. And you can continue to hide behind "everyone hates Jews" but no one is buying that either. Also you need to check YOUR bias lol. Also your tags are Harry Potter related so either you used to be a HP ship blog and deleted that (what's with you people and terrible fandoms btw) or its still a ship blog for some other shitty fandom. Step back and take a look around you. Look at the world. Does it look like ANYONE is buying this shit lol??? Anyway please have a shitty day and may everyone you love die :)

AP? the associated press? you mean these guys? the ones who awarded first place picture of the year to a photo of terrorists taking the body of a naked woman that they murdered into gaza?

listen, i’m not saying AP isn’t accurate or reliable. i’m just saying they employ unethical journalists.

nevertheless, i have a challenge for you, dear anon. watch this, and make sure to watch all the way through, without skipping anything. once you have done that, you are welcome to use any sources of your own—because i can tell you’ve done your research, so i trust you—to disprove me. maybe it really is AI, maybe it really is fake. but i want to see you use real, primary, accurate, and unbiased sources. i’ll use a bias calculator to determine that. you get one chance to prove to me that hamas did not use sexual violence or rape on october 7th. if you really do prove it, i’ll admit publicly on my blog that it was wrong. those are my conditions.

also, huh? i read harry potter in hebrew like once when i was younger. it was meh. i’m more of a star wars gal myself.

#answered hate #tw assault #tw violence #tw terrorism

[happyheidi]

how do you become so successful on tumblr with followers and likes and reblogs? i make so much blogs and the most followers i could get is max 10 ":( i feel like people here hate me even tho i don't speak to anyone and never send any aks to anyone not even nice ones :(

nooo angel! 😥💛 Lack of followers doesn’t equate to hate! Just as having lots of followers doesn’t equate to love.

As for gaining “success”/followers on tumblr, find a niche/community (cottagecore for example) and start making your own posts, tag them, preferably with some tags that show your personality a little, as well as the “cottagecore, nature, naturecore” etc (as is my case), and spread out your posts, don’t post your own all at once, that way more ppl can see it in the tag(s) you use, and reblog things you like. Make your blog a place you enjoy yourself and ppl will most likely do the same. It takes time. So don’t expect it to grow ‘huge’ overnight

- also, I’d be more than happy to share your blog so hopefully you’ll get some followers of it? Reblog your posts etc. just dm me 💛 I bet a lot of ppl will want to follow but if they don’t, it’s not the end of the world and it’s certainly not hate towards you. I can promise you that! 💝

you know what u need? You need a pic of my dog Moffe looking baked in front of my new currant bush (gonna post about it soon!) 🐕🍃

I’m here if you need more advice or just wanna talk. Looking forward to check out your blog 💚

#ask #moffe #cottagecore #dogs #animals #chihuahua #she turns 14 in august !! #my little old lady <3

[judesmoonbeauty]

Alfons Sylvatica Chapter 5 Semi-Summary

This is a fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is an extremely pared down SUMMARY of each chapter. I am roughly translating this with out much research other than specific lines from certain scenes. Why? Because it's a huge task to translate a main route chapter line by line. So, this is what we're working with, and I appreciate your understanding ♥︎ Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my summaries elsewhere. Minors: Please DNI or consume this content. CW: Dub-Con Dividers: @/natimiles

The next morning Kate wakes up with Alfons in her bed again, and she moves away from him as he proudly greets her with a good morning. She yells and Alfons asks what’s wrong with her as he hasn’t done anything to make her moan this morning. Kate begins to remember everything that happened, and glares at him. Alfons says he’ll take any criticism from her and she reprimands him for manipulating someone’s mind without consent. She calls him “outrageous” and Alfons claps his hands in an overdramatically fashion at her.

Alfons: But isn’t it too much? “Outrageous”…..to the man who was once your “lover”.

Alfons: Last night you were begging me for it over and over again.

Alfons: You were moaning so loudly, the entire castle could’ve heard you.

Kate: ….?!

(Moaning…..? Lie…..I’ll say I don’t remember that…..)

Alfons: ….this is no longer a one night stand, we’ve become something more of a relationship.

Kate responds to Alfons that she never thought of having such a relationship like this, and yet she couldn’t say anymore because she was at a loss for words, and wasn’t sure if it’s because she clung to the pleasure he gave her last night, the illusion of love she’d been given or if it was truly her will. As she sat in silence, Alfons continues to taunt her with whether or not Kate would sue him, and Kate decides that she isn’t going to let him do what he wants anymore, (I kind of feel like you said this before bestie and look at what happened), so she says she won’t sue him which surprises him.

Kate: I won’t be pushed around by you anymore.

Alfons: A declaration of war? Good.

Alfons: - But how will you stop me?

Kate: I’ll find your weakness or something.

Alfons: I see. A weakness.

Alfons: You’re so kind to reveal your hand so honestly, thank you.

Kate tells him that she doesn’t want to be shown illusions anymore and when Alfons asks why she hates the illusions, she tells him it’s because she doesn’t want to miss anything important and let something slip by her. He smiles in pity and tells her the only important thing is to feel good.

Alfons: Life is a tragedy. We need a place to escape. Don’t you agree?

Alfons: We can forget all the scary and sad things by covering them with joyful things.

Alfons gently whispers these words to her and entwines his fingertips with her in the bedsheets. She knows she should tell him to stop, but that small touch softly stimulates her heart. Kate realizes that only when Alfons touches her, do her thoughts get mixed. She feels like her fears and sadness are mixed up and driven out by him, and even though it may seem like he was taking advantage of her, somehow rather than using her for pleasure, it would be more fitting to say that he was offering her a way to escape. That’s why she can’t reject Alfons as the worst person in the world. But…

Kate: It’s unhealthy for a person to forget everything just because they’re in pain.

Alfons: People forget, Kate. It’s a natural self-cleansing process to forget.

Alfons: Besides, isn’t being unwholesome more appealing?

Alfons: It’s boring to live a wholesome life.

Kate noticed that Alfons words were gentle and heartfelt, and surely reality is more painful.

Alfons: I’ll make a prediction

Alfons: When you think back to yesterday, you’ll remember more than just the gory murder scene.

Alfons: You also remember the exciting and shameful sex we had.

Kate: ….!

Kate: ……That’s not true!

Alfons: Oh, don’t be shy about it.

Alfons: You’re really cute aren’t you?

Kate brushes Alfons hand that gently strokes her flaming cheek.

Kate: I’m red because I’m angry.

Alfons: I love that angry look on your face.

Kate: ….?! Don’t just say random things…..

Alfons: Let’s play again, Kate.

Kate: Wait…..

Alfons quickly slips out of bed and leaves the room and there is a pain in her chest, no doubt it’s just the illusionary love that Alfons fed her. Kate gets ready and finds William in the common room and discusses the incident with her. The men were transported to a warehouse owned by Crown where they were interrogated all night long confessing that they were hired by the administrators of the “poor house” to cleanse the slums. Kate recalls that they “poor house” is responsible for giving food to the poor, so are they trying to kill them off now?

William asks how she is going to write about Ellis and Alfons in her report, and she’s decided that they aren’t guilty of sin because without them, there would be more victims.

William: Even though one of them is a murderer and they other can manipulate minds?

Kate: …..I think that somethings can’t be protected if they didn’t do that.

William: I see. You’re a brilliant and practical robin.

William asks her if she will be able to continue in her role as fairytale keeper despite the memory of last night, and while he was referring to the slaughter she witnessed, her thoughts went to when she and Alfons were in bed, and then she recalls Alfons’ prediction of her recalling the memory of them having sex. William keeps calling Kate’s name until she comes back to reality and tells William that she’ll be able to complete her future missions. Afterwards, the scene transitions to her asking Roger and Liam about Alfons’s weaknesses, and Liam is SUPER excited to help her. She flashes back to earlier when William told her to rest for the day when she bumps into Alfons who was leaving the castle for the day even though he wasn’t on Crown duty. So, Kate asked Roger and Liam whom she also met by chance to tail him with her.

Back to the present, she thanks them for going along with her spur of the moment actions, when she remembers Roger’s ability to hear up to 100 yards, and she starts to worry if he heard them having sex or not. Catching on to her embarrassment, he mentions that he didn’t hear them last night. (OMG, I’d be so embarrassed though LOL.) She recalls that he can hear even heart beats, so maybe that gave her away. She freezes and she asks how could he not hear that, and he tells her that he can pick and choose the sounds he wants to hear, or rather that’s how he’s trained himself because in the beginning, everything he heard was random.

Noticing that Alfons descends a dimly lit staircase that leads to a basement, she points to where he enters and Roger tells her that it’s a speakeasy. Liam says that he often drinks around noon time. Kate can’t believe that he’s playing around at night, sleeps during the day and then drinks at noon on a daily basis. This causes her to start worrying about Alfons’ health, but she tells herself not to worry about him. Roger offers to go with her to the speakeasy if she buys him a beer and she agrees, and Liam agrees to go while invisible.

[Next] [Master List]

#alfons sylvatica #ikevil alfons #ikevil translations #ikemen villains #Ikémen villains translations #IkeVil JP spoilers

[queen--kenobi]

Hi, I'm the anon who said about table sex. I made some criticism which you took the wrong way, your friends butted in and said nasty stuff to me, and I said nasty stuff back. It just escalated out of control.

If you were more humble then maybe you would see I was merely offering feedback. I did point out the good qualities of your fic.

Someone then took my anon identity and roleplayed as me on someone's blog saying I rode my ex on my parents coffee table. It's actually not me. The table incident I spoke about involved my husband and the dining table. Without going into detail, it was awkward, uncomfortable and impossible. People who say otherwise are lying. Unless you try it then you don't know. RL is not like fanfic.

I am feeling very lonely and low just now, enough to contemplate what the point of existence. Then I see your ridiculous table sex challenge and I am crying. You just keep making a fool out of me. You're obviously not a popular blog so you're now milking your five seconds of fame at my expense just to get attention. This is even worse when people hated on me for saying blood and cheese needed to happen and they deserved it. And I stand by that. Daemon did what he had to do.

I am still really upset not that you care. I felt guilty at upsetting you but not now. You're rude arrogant and vain. Your friends reblog your fic with out reading. That's why no comment nearly or reviews. Your story sounds like a turtle tried to write it and then gave up. You probably use AI. Your a bad writer and an even worse person. Your beta should be locked up in English jail they are the worst betas I have ever seen. You're a huge turd and I absolutely despise you. Never speak to me again Percy

Okay so, I had to take a minute to sit down and think about my response. This is actually going to be my last response because we're at the point where nothing productive is going to come of this

I did acknowledge your criticism in the first anon you sent to me. Is that fic perfect? No. As I said, I'm probably going to rework that fic. But a lot of your points were just... Not valid? One of them was but the rest were obviously to try and hurt my feelings

And you truly expect me to believe someone just took your anon identity? Like sure, yeah, they could have. But I doubt it. It sounds like a cop out

Also, love how you try to act like you're the victim but then add that last paragraph. Bestie, it's giving "I didn't really mean what I said"

And yk what? It's not arrogant and vain if I can back it up. Tbh if you genuinely think I'm that way you have not been paying attention and/or haven't ever actually bothered to talk to me

Also you're the one that came back! If you don't want to speak to me, quit coming into my house!

But

To get serious for a minute. You do not know me, and I do not know you. To put your mental health on a stranger is irresponsible, especially when you make it sound like you're going to hurt yourself. I am not responsible for what you do. You are responsible for your own actions, not me. If you are truly suicidal or wanting to hurt yourself, please. Get off the internet and find a professional to talk to. I'm not saying that to be funny. I am saying that as genuine life advice

#persephone speaks

[zeroducks-2]

Zero you mentioned hating on people who get prissy about people shipping characters they dont actively ship and it sparked a LONG burning question of mine concerning bias shipping culture in Batfam fandom. Fans who attack and complain and make a big show of hating on ‘batcest’ ships ARE SO DUCKING HYPOCRITICAL OH MY LORD. I don’t understand why it’s considered okay to ship Dick x Barbara or Barbara x Bruce, or Steph x Tim. But seen as a cardinal sin to ship Jason x Dick, or Jason x Tim or Bruce x Dick??? Especially when the only argument antishippers make is ‘that’s gross their brothers/father and son and that’s incest 😤’. I’m sorry? Did you not just post nsfw Dickbabs content? Did DC not make Steph and Tim romantic love interests? Is that not incest too? Considering the fandom classifies all of them as family, and in a lot of fan spaces and fanfics, are they not interacting and being written as a family unit? I see SO many people blog about Bruce seeing Babs as his first daughter, or being making weird headcanons on Bruce and Steph’s relationship and donning it ‘tired uncle!Bruce and weird niece!steph core’. Like you obviously see them connected to Bruce through familial ties, and yet you’re okay with them dating Dick and Tim who are legally adopted by Bruce and who are also known as his sons? The irony. The hypocrisy. The ducking mockery of it all. Personally, I don’t think the issue that antishipper have is the ‘incest’ part but rather the ‘gay’ part of it all. Game of Thrones taught me that the general public actually don’t care about fictional incest between characters as long as it’s not between two male characters. Because lord forbid the’s a couple of queers in media.

I have been talking about this many times and I have no qualms talking about it some more:

✨ IT'S NOT INCEST, YALL JUST HOMOPHOBIC ✨

The whole idea around "batcest" makes no sense. These are people who did not grow up together, aren't related and never even lived under the same roof. Incest is not a spectrum, incest means sexual intercourse with a relative within the prohibited degree of consanguinity, consanguinity means BLOOD RELATIONSHIP, and these people DO NOT HAVE IT.

But even then, they are a bunch of hypocrites because I have not ever seen anyone batting an eye over Dickbabs or Timsteph (or Jaybabs, or Timbabs - yeah depending on the time period or the media, poor Babs has been passed around a lot). Their relationship is the exact same as the boys' when it comes to shared experiences. Steph has even been a Robin. But nobody cares because 1, DC is not pushing the "family rhetoric" with the girls all that much since they treat them as lower importance characters (when they're there at all), and 2, it's not queer relationships.

And this is ultimately what makes me go insane about queer kids parroting anti bullshit. Censorship is the weapon used by bigots to criminalize, punish and ultimately erase queer people from existence, it takes to study queer history for five minutes to understand this. You can see it happening in every fandom space where every type of queer ship gets put through some sort of moral sieve, and they WILL find reasons why it's unethical to ship it. Did you know that now shipping Dick/Wally is problematic because "Wally has a wife" ? So basically they're turning the very reason why fandom was born (exploring something different from the standardized heteronormative/amatonormative way of doing everything when it comes to narrative) into something pRoBLeMaTiC.

And these little fucking idiots keep spouting queerphobic nonsense while feeling morally righteous, not understanding that they are playing the game of the same people who if they could would shoot them in the street for being anything but straight and cis. And I'm not even taking into consideration the amount of harassment that comes from antis who think bullying and suibaiting someone over the perceived honor of fictional characters is okay.

BTW it's working. Just to name one, tumblr is not even doing its little rainbow capitalism number this year, because it's not a good look to be queer friendly anymore. Antis are helping the people who want us dead get to a spot where being anything but "normal" is illegal. When it happens, and if we keep going the way that we are now it will happen, it's going to be their fault too.

#I'm really tired #my asks #fuck antis

[jewish-vents]

Constantly visiting this blog and reading the rants of other Jews suffering like me....I cannot stop crying all the time. So much of us in pain and no one listening. I'm scared. Will it take something huge for everyone else to listen? How far will their hatred go? I can't stop thinking about that post on R/Jewish titled "Be ready this time." Will they still gaslight us even when the hatred becomes so big even they cannot deny or ignore it?

As a South Asian, I saw how brown people were lumped together and suffered after 9/11. To this day, everyone still makes 9/11 jokes but it was us who paid the price. How bad will the world punish us for this? I can't stop feeling suicidal. We will always be blamed for everything wrong in the world. We will never have allies, even our own people turn their backs on us in order to secure that "Good Jew" spot to avoid the dire consequences of being a "bad one".

I hate how betrayed I feel. It was so predictable, yk? The switch up. For the past few years, I couldn't stop feeling like antisemitism was gonna be back in style soon. My family thought it was just paranoia. Then it happened and yet I don't think I could ever get over it or stomach it. How do we even begin to process how quickly everyone embraced extreme, conservative levels of antisemitism? The moment they all took the stance that "Antisemitism isn't real/nothing is antisemitism not even antisemitism is antisemitism" against Israel's "everything is antisemitism", everything went to shit.

Watching the antisemitism happen in real time haunts me too....I can barely sleep. October 7th was already such a horrible day on the internet, don't get me wrong but on my side, at least I saw some people trying to push the "peace for all sides" stance. But after a week or so (maybe a few days tbh), I saw the antisemitism take over everywhere and it replays in my mind, making me sick. They couldn't wait to hate us. They were so happy that they no longer had to care about Jews or antisemitism (They never even spoke about us or our oppression anyways but now they can finally talk about us like the conservatives they oh so hate while also gaslighting us!)

And it sucks to admit but it hurts even more that my fellow people of color and queer people see us as such threats. We're just supposed to take it. We can't ever talk about how Muslims have oppressed us....When Kanye went Nazi, I saw a lot of people fall into antisemitic conspiracies and put the blame on us as well as all their anger and frustrations because somehow it's our fault he never got deplatformed for his "slavery was a choice" remarks and we always have "an agenda". We're just the perfect punching bags because there's so little of us and most people in the world have never met a Jew and yet think they know us through "The Jews killed Jesus" and "The Jews own the world".

I love you all. Everyone who posts on here and of course the person or persons who run this blog. I know we will survive this. We are so strong....we shouldn't have to be but we are anyway and I'm so proud. We've been here before and we will probably be here again over and over. But I'm so honored.

They can try to run over random Jews and shoot our schools and get the world to turn against any Jew by simply calling them a Zionist (which starts a serious isolation of Jews from the world as many Jews get boycotted in the name of antizionism) and attack our elders as they leave synagogues and leave antisemitic flyers in our neighborhoods saying we are the one true evil and do everything you can possibly imagine to harm us and we'll always be here. Everyone finally gets unity through Judenhass but what's new?

Thank you for this blog. It's so easy to feel like we're so alone but we have each other 💕 Sorry for this really long rant. I came here feeling extra hurt because I lost another friend recently. She came to me to have a long antisemitic rant about this white Jewish girl in our circle. Then a concerned friend sent me screenshots of a thread laughing and mocking us on 4chan (🤢🤮) about how Leftists hate Jews more than 4chan now. I can't take any of this anymore. But I am truly grateful for this blog and this space to yell and scream 💕

.

#jewish vents #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

[backsideattackkkk]

if bullying was not the main factor, what was it?

eughh i went into this point deeper in an old post from a termed blog. comes down to isolation mainly - when one feels numb, lost, confused you latch to meaning, if one has gone through bullying they latch to that as means of "wanting to hate back as they have been hated".

I used john ladue and nicole cevario as examples. two people (seperate - these cases aren't related) - foiled, who were planning to shoot up their schools (in the case of ladue - bomb it) but neither were bullied - yet they had a sense of numbness and did not want to be in the world anymore.

dylan and eric weren't the only two people bullied in columbine high-school, the degree of HOW the bullying was, I see disputed. brooks claims eric and dylan were "at the bottom of the bottom" essentially, people call brooks a pathological liar though, and he's the guy who thinks eric killed dylan, so I take with a grain of salt with what he says. T_T

the few incidents yeah, course, like the tampon-ketchup stuff - which I believe sue klebold mentioned. and nathan vanderau reported that eric and dylan were constantly picked on. vanderau noted that a “cup of fecal matter” was thrown at them.

so yeah. rough, yes, but I note that- "one can be alone and not be bullied, and one can still have friends and still be bullied".

I feel like I'm not wording it correctly because the common variable between shooters is feeling like they do not belong, and hence forth place blame on others for not fitting in - if you are bullied, you would place that blame on bullies, but if you are NOT bullied, you would still blame the people around you. when it comes to you HAVE been bullied, you flare up what has happened to you in order to "feed" said rage.

when eric mentions "build" the rage, dylan mentions jocks, yeah, but he also mentions his family. hence my notion - grasping at straws to build rage because feeling SOMETHING and giving PURPOSE would be better than numb. to feel rage you would be "filled" of it, which would be better than being empty.

inference: there are some shooters who chose to shoot up a place because they need to corner themselves, they want to die, but can't because they can always leave. when you shoot up a place, you can't do that - it's either opt out or get arrested.

speculation: klebold had even come up with NBK in the first place. (He was known for not sticking with things, leaving them or not pulling full effort, by killing others and going NBK he'd be forcing himself to have to kill himself.) note that - klebold was described as the more depressed as the two (not that he was, but more 'vocal' about it in his journal writings)

#asks

[kenny-pilled]

Kenny Gets a lil controversial

I didn’t want to talk about this situation anymore for many reasons: I hate confrontation, it didnt seem like it really involved me anymore, and I really still care for @the-angelbun-returns even despite everything they’ve been doing. I genuinely considered them one of the closest friends I had when we were talking. All that to say, I wouldn’t try to smear their name just because I don’t agree with them, so when I say they are straight up lying to make themself look better, I mean it.

I was checking up on their blog because, as I said, I still care about them and I wanted to check up on them. Then I saw this:

“I didnt know the name I mentioned was related to their irl name.”

You did. And I can quite easily prove you did. The nickname you used was quite literally the first three letters of their irl name which they explicitly told you was their irl name the first time all three of us talked.

“I never mentioned their specific trauma”

But you did. And even if were not counting this one time you said they were “Dropping the ‘im a csa victim and your disgusting’ out of nowhere”

(Which, tangent, but bringing up the fact that your a csa victim in a very relevant discussion where that context helps you understand the persons point of view is not “dropping it out of nowhere” and if you feel guilt tripped when someone brings up their trauma in a relevant discussion about a paraphilia that hurt them in the past then that is your own issue you need to sort out.)

You also heavily implied their trauma multiple times before that point.

Seeing Charlie, someone who i genuinely cared (and still care, to an extent) about lie and twist words to try and make my partner seem like a bad person for trying to talk about their nuanced view on paraphilias is incredibly upsetting. They were my friend and I genuinely considered them an older sibling figure. I wanted to post this so 1. they could see why what they were saying was wrong and 2. attempt to stop the hate my partner is recieving in response to the way Charlie has been talking about them.

#proship #proshipper #proshippers please interact #comshipper #comshippers please interact #darkshipper #comship #darkship #⁉️ // discourse

[0039pf-third-blog-hooray]

guys look what i made for my best friend 🤭🎀

i also bought a couple of sticker packs and gems for a friend to decorate the album, and ethan got the best and the most. he deserves it. 💔

edit: part 2

#it was part of the gift i gave her today! finally met @pol-parketny for the first time since last summer #we only have the opportunity to see each other a couple of times a year at best:( she lives and works in another city and it's very far awa #but she's here for my birthday! which is may 14th (spam me with edits of characters you see in this blog pretty please 🙏🙏) #btw i laughed so hard from the back (“everyone hates chris”) bc WE both hate chris (for personal reasons) and it's like our local meme XDD #also what luis is doing there??? is he just for the company of his husband (leon)?? #0039pf shitposts #resident evil #re4 #resident evil 4 #re4 remake #re4 leon #leon kennedy #re4 luis #luis serra #luis serra navarro #albert wesker #re4 wesker #serennedy #re8 #resident evil 8 #re8 village #re8 heisenberg #karl heisenberg #ethan winters #re8 ethan winters #wintersberg #by 0039pf #craft #diy craft

[mintypsii]

watched usopp's little arc with defeating sugar and wow it took A LOT for him to turn back after running away to fight them again. but then later he finds out that she's awake and thinks about how he'll lose his memories of Luffy if he doesn't take care of her again, and IMMEDIATELY makes up his mind to shoot her from SO FAR AWAY?

#i know what you are #IM KIDDING #ugh they all love their friends so much i hate this show (affectionate) #man seeing usopp's growth has been SO 🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️💝💝💝 #esp when it comes to his friends #he's one of the wimpiest on the crew but i still think he should get more credit for all his feats so far anyways #AND THAT ONE SCENE WHERE LUFFY WAS LIKE “haha dw usopp's there so it'll be okay!” WHEN THEY WERE WORRIED ABOUT THE LITTLE PPL UNDERGROUND #and also when people were like yay god usopp saved us and luffy went “i love when ppl say good things about my friends ^_^” i love u luffy #the sweetie pies to ever #idk if i should tag this as ship cuz then lusopp truther in me wants to but then again u can take this as super strong friendship too #ugh whatever im just gonna do it i can be cringe and free also i wanna navigate lusopp stuff on my own blog too so #one piece #op #min watches one piece #dressrosa #usopp #god usopp #lusopp #usolu #teehee giggle i can do what i waaanntt #me when an army of oppressed people are dying and beggijg for u to save them 🙄😮‍💨😒 #me when my BOYFRIEND has the potential to be turned into a toy by a little girl 😥😢😢😰😨😕🫤😦😧😭😨😡😡🤬 #im JOKIGNNGNG #not #ily usopp he still went back for them and that's what matters <33 also he was willing to lay his life down for them too so #ok enough

[reineyday]

ST fandom wank but i saw that anti post that said billy hargrove lived and died a piece of shit and it's like, did we even watch the same death scene 😭😭

you really sat down, watched el delve into his memories to see that when he was a child, his mother abandoned him and his father abused him, saw him get the tiniest bit of emotional validation ever from el, watched that small exchange fuel him enough to break the mind control of the gigantic alien creature he knew nothing about except that it possessed him to step in front of it and literally protect el, a girl he doesnt even know, with his actual life--like he actually died! taking a hit meant for el!!!--and then as billy, an 18 year old lifeguard who teaches kids how to swim and who's had an abusive father practically his entire life, lay on the floor of a mall dying from the wounds inflicted on him by a creature he knew nothing about to save a pre-teen who is a stranger to him, you saw as he apologized to his (step-)sister with his dying breath, and you're telling me that you sat there and watched that whole entire scene and thought, "well, he's still a piece of shit."

where's your compassion?????

#fandom wank #discourse #fandom discourse #rei rambles #billy hargrove #stranger things #hate him all you want but let's not forget he died doing something heroic alright? #'his arguably heroic death doesnt excuse his past actions' his death is inarguably heroic from a narrative pov #and im not trying to excuse his past actions #what gets my goat arent the people who hate him. it's the ppl who refuse to see that he was written in a nuanced way #and then act morally superior for hating him. excuse me if i understand that he's a fictional character that contributes to an overall plot #anyways sorry i try so hard not to be discourse-y on my blog #but there's smthg abt the pervasiveness of billy antis that just makes me ghfaioabdksl #i dont discourse often but if u dont like to see it i tag 'fandom wank' & 'fandom discourse' & usually also just 'discourse'

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry #everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now #i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse #i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be #but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol #but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something #for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave #and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from #and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true #and i can't support people like that and take them seriously #i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well #but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch #and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard #yrtalk #with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame #but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so #and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows #but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't