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frenchfriedgiraffe · 3 months

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dghda season 2 and childhood

this is adding on to this post i made a while ago. basically, i fully believe that the writers of this show set up the perfect opportunity to have the theme of s2 be about childhood, specifically exploring the effects of trauma (and escapism/maladaptive daydreaming). its already something that is featured or referenced to, however i think that there was a lot of potential for the show if they fully embraced the theme.

the biggest and most prominent example of the theme of childhood being present is in the character of francis (The Boy), who experiences severe childhood trauma and as a result creates a fantasy world that he can escape to. this world is full of stereotypes of a conventional children’s fantasy, with knights, a magic train, and even a crazy evil wizard guy. yet despite this, the world he created also contains elements from real life, specifically things that he found traumatic. francis witnesses his father get killed with a pair of scissors, and the main weapon used by the characters in wendimoor are a pair of giant scissors. also, in the house within the house, theres a copy of his kitchen, featuring the scissors and smashed flowerpot.

this is probably the most obvious display of the lasting effects of childhood trauma in a character, although there are a LOT more, though they are quite subtle.

dirk may be the second most obvious example of the presence of this theme. his very first scene in season 2 is set in blackwing, the organisation that took him and experimented on him as a child. blackwing is hinted to have abused him as a child, although we only see how they treat him as an adult. (there is a deleted scene of him when he was a child talking to the previous head of blackwing, meaning that there was a possibility we could have seen what it was like for him as a child too.)

however it is clear that he suffered trauma from his time at BW as a child, as many of his mannerisms throughout both season 1 and 2 mirror those of someone with c!ptsd. and having that trauma resurface in s2 also causes him to be more distant and get upset more frequently. (theres more but this is long enough already)

despite escaping blackwing early on in the season, dirk is obviously extremely shaken from his brief time back in there, and its pretty safe to say that the experience brought up a lot of bad memories. he is much more subdued throughout s2, and his previous optimism is rarely present, with his attitude towards the case being very different from s1.

like francis, there are a few tiny hints to escapism as a result of dirks trauma from blackwing (although im probably grasping at straws here). while in blackwing, he frequently dreams about being rescued by todd and farah. while being chased near the end of the season, dirk is lethargic and rather unresponsive, which could be some sort of dissociative state that he entered in order to escape from the reality of his situation.

while these are the most prominent examples where characters are shown to be effected by their childhood experiences, most of the other characters can be interpreted this way too.

farah is another good example, where she mentions the passing of her dad, and talks about how he wasnt a great father figure and caused her to often feel like a failure. she actually gets a resolution to this, with hobbs seeming to step in as her new father figure (yay!)

this was also something that seemed to be half set up for other characters. for example, todd and amanda having to learn to accept the changes in their relationship and amanda having to recontextualize her past. tinas frequent references to her struggles with addiction as well. farson and his whole family… thing. oh, and also like EVERY other blackwing subject. (more examples but again, this is a fucking long post)

essentially, the characters in this season struggle a lot, and a lot of this is because of things that happened (or possibly happened) because of their childhood experiences.

which leads me onto my next point (oh god, theres more!?) about the missed opportunity with this set up. many people agree that a lot of season 2 felt rather… aimless? while things were loosely connected, they definitely felt a lot less connected than in season 1. events happened and because there were plots happening in different DIMENSIONS, there was often very little overlap. having an underlying theme like this would have made each plot connect much more seamlessly, and it would have been a nice opportunity to further develop and explore some characters.

for example, throughout his journey in season 2, dirk could be seen recognising the parallels between the case and his own internal conflict. as he sees the destruction caused by francis’ powers, he could mirror the events with his own experiences and perhaps realise the effects of what pushing down trauma does. i think it would have been nice to see a conversation between dirk and francis about blackwing, ending with francis telling dirk he needs to learn to face the shit he went through and stop trying to ignore his trauma. this would have been a good way to connect their characters more as well.

it would have been a good opportunity to connect ALL the characters, especially if the show embraced the idea of escapism and pushed it further through wendimoor. as they got closer to solving the case, we could have seen them recognising their own flaws and looking back at their pasts.

and they wouldn’t have really had to make any super drastic changes, because theres already so much material for this theme to be introduced!!

tl;dr: s2 set up a lot of cool themes and the season would have been a lot more well-rounded if they embraced them more.

dont even get me started on the concept of good and bad…

#fucking hell thats a long post #thanks for reading if you made it to the end… if you didnt then tbh same #dghda #dirk gently #dghda meta #todd brotzman #idk what to tag this tbh #um #the consequences of experimenting on children??? idk #im so sorry if this is indecipherable im so bad at explaining my thoughts

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ceo-of-sloppy-men · 2 years

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I think I’ve said it before but the chantry is LITERALLY THE SOURCE OF SO MANY FUCKING PROBLEMS.

Like I know I did a haha funny darkspawn rant a few days ago but FUCK THE CHANTRY. Let’s review:

Mage circles: literally only perpetuate the paranoia of all mages being blood mages at some point, and condoning abuse of mages by templars (and sometimes other mages)

A dishonourable mention to the giant mage prison circle

It’s almost like putting all mages in a tower together and telling them they’re horrible creatures only meant to “serve man” like weird little pieces of technology or slaves that can just be used and discarded doesn’t do anything but push mages towards blood magic, which perpetuates the whole thing

Don’t even get me started on phylacteries - which is actual blood magic being used to track down mages trying to escape their abuse

Not to mention mages aren’t allowed relationships or to have children (shoutout to that guy in Redcliffe who just wanted a family and to grow crops). Which just is terrible when you also remember most magic is genetic (one of Dorian’s lines when talking about Tevinter).

As stated by Cullen “some templars are promised to the order at birth” which only serves to perpetuate the indoctrination that mages are dangerous and bad and evil blood mages

Templars taking lyrium when it’s known to be horribly addictive and you go mad breaking said addiction only serves to keep people in the order, and when/if they leave, no one will believe them about what they’ve been through or seen because “they’re a mad Templar seeking their next lyrium hit”

Like seriously the chantry caused the biggest drug problem in all of Thedas

When a circle does collapse and templars (and mages) get traumatized, absolutely nothing is done to rehabilitate them. The trauma is not addressed despite how dangerous blood mages are stated to be, because mental health isn’t a concern to the chantry.

The stigmatism of Tevinter only perpetuated by the whole “Tevinter killed the makers bride”. I’m not saying Tevinter is good, however they are blatantly saying that the country where mages are treated like people is “bad”. (The fact it’s part of the slave trade is bad and tevinter needs reformation, however, its oddly convenient that the place with free mages is constantly used as a bad example). Not apologizing for Tevinter tho that shit sucks.

The moment there are free mages or a mage uprising the Chantry already has rumours of an exalted March. Like mages are rabid dogs to be put down.

Tranquil. “Oh this mage is too powerful because we gave them all the resources they need to become powerful and now we’re worried about them rising up and realizing that magic doesn’t need to serve man?” Let’s take away their personality, memories, magic, and everything that makes them a person and reduce them to nothing but a tool we can use to make more enchanted stuff. It doesn’t matter they’re a real person with emotions and stuff rn that won’t matter once we make it alllllll go away.

*cough cough sounds like conversion therapy cough cough*

Also, when has “violently ripping children from their parents at young ages” ever been good for the development of said child?

In short, I hate the chantry for the stigmatization it gave mages and the way it condoned abuse in circles and forced drugs down peoples throats.

It’s also 2:30am so if I’m wrong or forgetting something my apologies.

#tw drugs #anti chantry #fuck the chantry #dragon age spoilers #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age 2

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wygolvillage · 2 years

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my two cents on the trial. this is NOT getting into the weeds of "who is right" because i think these conclusions matter regardless of your thoughts on the matter or who is actually the one in the right, and also because i do not want to be one of those people "betting on a racehorse" or whatever or participating in the spectacle, and also bc i have very limited knowledge on the evidence itself bc i am not actively seeking it out. this is just the observations of a bystander seeing this whole phenomenon from afar

cent #1: the fact that its a defamation trial makes it more concerning to me that its happening at all. heard publically referred to herself as an abuse victim (without naming depp as the abuser) and if that is ruled as grounds for defamation i find that concerning for abuse survivors going forward. regardless of your thoughts on this specific case, abusers dragging their victims to court purely to intimidate them is already A Thing That Happens, it even happened to a musician i like (though things settled in her favor thankfully) and its a process that i can only imagine is extremely traumatic and stressful. if publically identifying yourself as a victim is "defamation" i can only imagine that this behavior would happen more frequently- regardless of who the """real victim""" in this specific case is. this is also why i find "its a domestic violence case dont derail by calling it a defamation case" unhelpful even though i understand why people say it. it being a defamation case is something i find uniquely concerning for these reasons.

cent #2: the way people are talking about this is also extremely concerning (there are already a ton of posts on why the whole social media circus over this sucks that probably put it more eloquently than i can) and this is going to probably leave a lasting and ugly mark on public discourse about abuse regardless of how things shake out. people are already acting like experts on what abuse looks like or how trauma manifests, even when theyre blatantly wrong, pulling out body language pseudoscience (which is obviously really concerning for neurodivergent people and just about anyone really), resorting to ableist or misogynist language ("that lying bitch", "shes psychotic", "she probably abused him because she has bpd", etc. i even saw a screenshot of some furry porn account saying the trial "empowered" them to add people with bpd to their dni. yeesh!) accusing victims of lying about abuse has historically already been a thing and a very harmful thing at that, if people get their prototypical example of the "lying victim" it will only grow more prevalent.

ok i lied theres a third cent: i personally care a lot about abuse not being boiled down to something only men inflict and only women suffer, bc it makes abuse harder to recognize in other kinds of relationships, but the way people are acting about this doesnt help male victims. resorting to misogynist or ableist language to "defend" a male victim even in the event that hes the one in the right doesn't help anyone! making a trial into a fandom war is invasive and shitty. the whole thing is like seeing those "and everyones too busy talking about female victims 🙄" posts turned into a whole pop culture event it sucksssss, "we need to talk more about male victims/female abusers" is a fine sentiment but its about how and why its said you know. we can talk about both i prommy its just that a lot of abusive relationships prey on already-existing power imbalances and gender is a common one

#abuse tw #ask to tag further #also pls dont reblog these are Personal Musings

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sanjarka · 2 years

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listen, i get where people are coming from when they say that the hunger games movies focused way too much on the romance but at the same time what romance? do you mean the ,,love triangle"? or adding that kiss between katniss and gale in catching fire? are you team peeta or team gale? who is hotter - josh or liam? because the actual romance doesn't exist.

what about he gives me a smile with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me? for a moment i feel foolishly happy? there's a whole world locked away inside of him? how don't his eyelashes get tangled up when he blinks? he plays with my hair while i make a flower crown? his voice is like the morphine they give me? in a minute i can see his smile and hear his laugh? i wonder if those kisses would feel like the ones from the beach, the ones i hadn't let myself think about until this moment? did you really hear him screaming? don't let him take you away from me? let me go - i can't? none of this is shown or implied.

no, this isn't a romance book and there are a lot of other extremely important scenes that the movies don't focus enough on (for example: the death of her father and how important that relationship was and still is so important to her? how much she misses him? how she never had the time to grieve him?) but the romance that does happen between the main characters is a big part of the plot - it moves the story, it creates conflict. the main story depends on it. this isn't just a story of war, it's also a story about the life of its protagonist and it's only natural to want her to find joy and peace. and no, not everyone has to like it, love it, be obsessed with it (i don't care about that, nor is it a realistic thing to expect or the focus of this post), but can we just stop pretending like it doesn't exist? like it's a bad thing to enjoy it. that you are exactly like the capitol because of that. that even katniss herself doesn't care about it and is somehow above that - she's a confused, traumatized child who doesn't have time to prioritize her own feelings and emotions. at 17, she should be able to think about that beach kiss for every second of every day and not feel the need to hide it because she's afraid of expecting too much, or wanting too much, or needing too much.

the movies left a lot of damage, not because they focused on the romance, but because instead of filming what was already on paper they went ahead and glamorized it, deleted it or changed it. they deleted the fact that seam people are poc. they aged up the cast. dehumanized kato, clove... didn't show how ugly the capitol really is. how haymich lost everything because he didn't want to be their piece in the games. how finnick was sold from the age of 14. how johanna isn't just angry and mad but damaged and broken. how gale isn't a war criminal but a teenager who got lost in trying to see what is right to do in a war. how war changes people and how, in the end, it usually loses its right side if it ever had it. how you can still be damaged and worth something. that the real revolution isn't in the fight but in helping those around you, by giving them bread on a rainy day or singing them a song when they are dying in your arms. that peeta lost his leg, his sense of self and his entire family. that both him and katniss had traumas prior to the games. that they truly loved each other and were each other's hope. that it would've happened anyway. that it's only him. that their love is a lot of things but never practical or just for comfort.

the romance that the movies presented was shallow and superficial. the tragedy in their love story isn't gale, or that it only happened because it was forced, or because of their shared trauma. instead it was snow and the capitol. they weren't allowed privacy and to move at their own pace. they were used and manipulated with, hijacked. the tragedy of their love story was that it was tainted. that they weren't allowed to think about it as just theirs.

and then after everything they were still the only ones who could have healed one another. after all of that, they still somehow grew back together. the movies forgot to say that it was absolutely everything to both of them. that they are fully equal in that love.

so no, the problem with the movies isn't too much romance.

#i get where this is coming from and maybe i'm just to sensitive or literal or whatever but i just had to say #literally just saw a tiktok comment and thus happened #but it is something that i see quite often in general #not saying you are a bad fan if you enjoy the movies #but i think we can all agree that without the books they do not have the same effect #anyway glad that's out #thg #thg: movie criticism #the hunger games #the hunger games: meta #everlark #everlark: meta #mine #mine: thg

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flickeringart · 3 years

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Chiron in the signs

Our permanent wounds and our strongest need for coping

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Chiron in Aries: Because of the strong pride and belief in the force and energy that is inherent in Aries, anything that kills the spirit is going to hurt the most. If you have this placement, you’re likely to have experienced a loss of potency, a loss of pure assertion. Anything that blocks, thwarts and pacifies personal impulses and initiative will be the most soul crushing and traumatizing. You might’ve tried and researched all kinds of ways to gain some kind of strength to project your will into the world, to become more confident, to not care about what other people think, to go your own way. Unfortunately, this might make you even more aware of your incapacity to take the lead. People might point out that you “only try so hard because you were hurt in the past”. This further reminds you of the futility and shame associated with your painful wound in the attempts to be assertive and independent. Chiron is not a pleasant figure. He comes with a lot of wise acceptance and insight, but also with humiliation and deep helplessness. No matter how hard you try, you’re never completely healed, though you can cope and learn techniques that will make you more direct, forceful and motivated… it will not make you whole. The skills are learnt out of necessity rather than free will, so resentment is going to be part of the process. The thing to remember with Aries though is that although energy is often channeled into physical activity, it is an intuitive sign at the core. Aries is primarily of the spirit not of the earth. Eminem is a good example of someone with this placement - he has it in the 4th house. He grew up in a rough neighborhood and was beaten several times and he and his mother apparently clashed a lot (Mars-Pluto in the 10th might have something to do with this as well). His father left the home early on and didn't keep in touch.

Chiron in Taurus: This placement comes with some kind of fundamental incapacity to be effective on the material-physical plane. Perhaps there’s some kind of dent in this person’s self-esteem as it relates to the body, its shape, attractiveness or functionality. The need for satisfying physical permanence is not met, there’s always an inability to put down roots and establish some kind of security. Your capacity to experience pleasure in the most basic sense is blocked in one way or another. Taurus is a very feminine sign that is strongly connected to the archetypal earth mother. You might have a difficult relationship with the body and its basic nature somehow. It’s pretty intuitive that people like Marilyn Monroe, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian and Martin Luther King have this placement. In one-way or another, they seem to have been hurt by their physical attributes. In Martin Luther King’s case, race and blackness seems to be the wound that he was trying to “heal”. Not that race is a wound in and of itself, but because of the ignorance and spirit of the time, it becomes a “deficiency”, an obstacle that is impossible to overcome because it’s not in one’s own hands to alter. As it comes to the three women mentioned, they’re entertainers, although possessing other skills than mere physical attributes, it’s what they are known for. They’re all attempting to be pleasant to the eye, but they are probably also hurt by the focus that is drawn to their bodies and physical shapes. The pressure can be too much and push these people to take it too far. This gives rise to a need to detach from the body, to relate to it as an image rather than a real, living thing.

Chiron in Gemini: There’s something up with the communication process of this type. There’s a wound related to speaking one’s mind and formulating one’s thoughts. This is quite a serious placement because it implies being unjustifiably hurt by your own and other people’s thoughts, words and conceptualizations. Other people’s and your own narratives and stories could be seriously wounding. Unfortunately, it is something you can’t do anything about and that you’re forced to live with against your will. It’s too widespread, too all-permeating for you to even begin to remedy. You can’t control other people’s minds or your own, and it’s somehow decided against you being a healthy individual. Prince Harry has this placement and he has certainly suffered from people’s opinions and preconceived notions. He has to live with a lot of criticism and hateful comments that he can’t put an end to or do anything about. Not to mention his incessant obsession with “mental health” seems to have something to do with this placement as well. It almost becomes a sickness in itself. Woody Allen also has this placement, in his public 10th house. He is known for saying crazy things and conversing in a way that is peculiar, fascinating and a bit unsettling. He’s known for going into complex and confusing self-analysis in order to find out what is “wrong” with him. It’s amusing but it’s also sad. Chiron seems to be the faultfinder and the self-help maniac. It’s curious because the whole assumption that there’s something “wrong” can be harmful in itself. This is how Chiron perpetuates the wound. By thinking too much about the issues that the mind brings, one thinks oneself into madness.

Chiron in Cancer: There’s some issue of mothering with this placement. Needs aren’t met, people aren’t sensitive enough, you are not caring enough, something is terribly wrong with the way you’re being treated and the way other people are being treated. You want nothing more than to be cared for and understood on a feeling level. You want to be able to be soft and receptive but it has consequences. There’s no way to get around the fact that you experience yourself as too sensitive for this world. You have a big heart but also a victim mentality. There’s too much that isn’t right for you to show your vulnerability, the world is to harsh. Emma Watson is a great example since Chiron falls in her 10th house of public image. She’s a declared feminist and someone with a deep compassion for people’s feelings, needs and sensitivities. She acts out the wise healer archetype in public, she tries to be an agent of change. As always with Chiron, the task seems insurmountable and depends on other people healing themselves. Another example is Taylor Swift, who has it in her 8th house of hidden and intimate matters. She’s been quite open about some deeply hurtful romantic relationships in her songs where she was “so innocent”, used and burnt. Cancer as a sign seldom identifies with the villain because it’s so compassionate and full of sympathy for human weakness. “I was hurt because I was so naïve and pure” is the common narrative, “I didn’t know better”. Of course, the price one pays for being able to retain some kind of purity is to remain blurry eyed and unable to spot danger when it presents itself. “If only people were more empathetic… maybe I can teach them” says Chiron in Cancer.

Chiron in Leo: Sometimes Leo is depicted as the showman of the zodiac, and although it is true that Leo likes to take center stage, it is not for the superficial reason of taking a big ego trip. It is for the purpose of experiencing one’s own wholeness. It’s for the purpose of experiencing the small self within the greater self, to go on a journey toward the center, the place of authentic expression. It’s the process of “finding oneself”. It would seem that people with Chiron in Leo would have an issue with staying true to themselves, of really expressing from a place of personal truth. I’ve noticed that people with this placement tend to struggle with self-confidence and is eager to help other people find it as well. Not in the same way as Chiron in Aries people would though, with Aries it’s more of an issue with potency and of strength to move forward. With Leo, it’s more a matter of showing up as oneself with the full power of warmth and magnitude that belongs to this sign. George Harrison is a good example with Chiron in Leo in his 10th house. He seemed to be concerned with realizing himself, of establishing a connection with the greater self. He had a very strong religious urge (which would be expected with Pluto in Leo in the 9th). In a sense, he tried to heal himself through creative self-expression, but fame and fortune perhaps did more damage than good. His talents were underestimated for a while; he had to live in the shadow of more extroverted Beatles members while trying to get a little bit of himself to show. This placement seems to go hand in hand with early success or attention that perhaps wasn’t asked for and a subsequent struggle to not lose sight of oneself in the process. You could get attention that pulls you further away from your own light with Chiron in Leo. It could distract you from your own center.

Chiron in Virgo: With this placement you would have some kind of issue with staying on top of your own life mentally and practically. There’s a wound related to not having been able to structure, organize and get everything into its proper place in time in order for things to work out. Interestingly, Justin Bieber has this placement in the 9th house. From what I’ve gathered, he believes in God and identifies as a Christian. As it seems, he often asks for forgiveness as he has crossed more than a few boundaries in his time (he’s heavily Piscean). He would turn to God for some kind of structure and order, but as always with Chiron, admitting to being wounded and lacking is somewhat of an attack on the self. It requires great humility. He’s a soft, receptive and dreamy soul but he would be constantly reminded throughout his life of his insufficient attention to detail and proper use of judgment. Another person with the same placement is Friedrich Nietzsche. He was a great thinker with revolutionary inspiring ideas, but I would assume that he was likewise plagued by the lack of a neat and proper philosophical- religious framework that could be useful in his life. He was a true Virgo-Chiron in the 9th, wounded by the lack of proper use of the intellect in favor of truth. Blind belief didn’t suffice for him; he needed to employ his mind in order to redeem his faith. In contrast to Bieber, Nietzsche came strongly under Virgo with his Venus and Mars here as well. He was interested in really finding out, but it became an obsession bordering on sickness. It seems that this placement would be prone to a loss of mental capacity, of not being able to process information.

Chiron in Libra: This sign is promoting social harmony. Usually, with Chiron in this sign, there’s a wound to your ability to blend in, to cooperate with other people, to operate in a social atmosphere without being reminded of a painful lack. There’s difficulty in accommodating for other people’s perspectives and relating in a way that is pleasant for both parties. In a sense, there’s no surprise that Donald Trump has this placement in the 2nd house of personal possessions. He is certainly someone who has accumulated money throughout his life and has become quite a skilled businessman. Though this has not entirely been in his favor because people feel that it must stem from some kind of wound - that he is cooperating and making deals only to fill a void within. He is not credited for his skill; he is accused of playing the social game in an appalling and distasteful manner. He must’ve been hurt by the superficiality of social relations and is convinced that he needs to develop it in order to get away from the pain it has caused him. This is the sad nature of Chiron. The very thing that hurts and is a painful reminder of insufficiency must be developed in order to cope. He’s undoubtedly very socially involved, but if it’s questionable if it’s coming from a genuinely healthy place. Libra has a lot to do with surface aesthetic, social impression and the ability to enter into partnerships with the attempt to benefit oneself (and the other party). Although you might develop great skills pertaining to this sign with Chiron here, it will always be in an attempt to cope. You might become a master at climbing the social ladder but you do it because it hurts too much not to. You don’t want to feel weak and lame.

Chiron in Scorpio: This is a heavy one. Not that Chiron is ever a walk in the park, but Scorpio is a particularly intense sign. The wound would be related to emotional-psychological violation or crisis of some kind, which would require you to gain insight into the ins and outs of the human psyche and human emotion. The violation doesn’t have to involve other people, but it usually does. Because of the ignorance of others and the damage that can be caused on an emotional level this person must learn to survive after abandonment and betrayal. Elton John is a great example, since his public image and career is marked by this type of wound. His musical career has both been his light and his destruction – he went down the infamous drink and drug spiral trying to get away from the darkness but ending up plunging into it instead. The coping mechanisms that one has to learn involves suspicion, not trusting people’s motives, being very perceptive and careful to trust people to have your best interests in mind and more importantly… to be ok with being emotionally violent. It is true that one has to become a bloodsucker in order to be able to deal with the bloodsuckers. You have to understand how to prey on other people’s life force and protect your own in order to survive. Scorpio is a sign that is very primitive and it often forces the individual to face the worst places inside or outside. But with Chiron it’s never out of free will. The scorpionic wound is complex and multi-layered and is undoubtedly very deep. Attempts to deal with it might backfire badly.

Chiron in Sagittarius: People who have this placement tend to have to cope by taking the big perspective on things, to move in the world through the eyes of spirit rather than the eyes of a mortal human being. There’s a fearless quality to Sagittarius and with Chiron here, one has to cope through not fussing over the details – to look ahead at all costs. I would anticipate some kind of exaggerated optimism with this placement. There’s something that hurts in terms of being deprived of freedom to explore life to its fullest. The wound never really heals so the necessity of coping never goes away. Robin Williams had Chiron in Sagittarius, in the 2nd house. The 2nd house is the house of personal possessions but it also says something about self-value. It seems like he was trying to be exciting and fun, through stepping into the role of the comedian in order to compensate for a lack of self-worth. Sagittarius is known for its good sense of humor and its intuition. Although he certainly would’ve gained some sense of self-worth through coping in this way, the wound would never go away. The frustrating thing about Chiron is that when you stop coping, the wound becomes more painful. The behavior is driven be deep pain that can’t be remedied. It has to be compensated for. Though he certainly got attention and praise for his ability, it would’ve felt a bit tragic to know that it stemmed from a need to compensate. There could be difficulty with seeing a future for oneself with this placement – the light at the end of the tunnel is dim and not much to put one’s faith in.

Chiron in Capricorn: With this placement there’s some kind of debilitating pain related to success and achievement, of not living up to expectations from authority. You cope through staying in line and walking the narrow path of societal success. I associate Capricorn with sacrifice – not the Piscean kind where there’s recognition of oneself in the rest of the world and a willing, passive surrender to greater forces. Capricorn is related to the sacrifice of freedom in favor of building something important within the limits and restrictions of the societal structure. People with Chiron in this sign cope through trying to achieve something that can be recognized as success in society through being disciplined and strong willed. Oprah Winfrey has this placement in the 1st house of self. She has an identity issue that is coped with through tangible success. She gives the impression of having had to learn Capricornian skills because of her painful sense of impotence in the face of worldly matters. She had to cope through building the persona of an independent and powerful societal figure. Angela Merkel has the same placement, which is not really a surprise – both of them have a persona of being effective and impactful agents in a worldly sense. Chiron in Capricorn is a great placement for being able to achieve something and rise in the ranks, but the behavior stems from a place of deep hurt and sense of lack. These people didn’t choose to have to be strategic, calculating and driven, it was necessary to deal with the pain of being nobodies without influence or say in anything. It seems that the planets shape our lives – they push us toward our destiny.

Chiron in Aquarius: You would have a wound around not feeling like there’s any progression happening on a group level. You would want to contribute with something to humanity, something new that could lead to greater freedom. I think that the fact that Michael Jackson had Chiron in Aquarius in the 12th house of universal feeling makes a lot of sense. He obviously felt great sympathy for the entire human race and wanted to heal “everyone” as he probably had an easy time identifying with all the suffering in the world. Aquarius is a sign of genius and systematic liberty. Steve Jobs has this placement in the 5th house of personal creations and it certainly fits the bill. He has been very creative in revolutionizing technology and making it accessible and easy to use. Though, one ought to remember that Chiron is indicative of a coping mechanism and doesn’t stem from pure desire and inspiration. It stems from necessity. In Steve Jobs case, he must’ve felt some kind of pressing need to do something to catapult humanity into further possibilities through his own creative expression. I imagine that these people are really trying to be innovative and try to venture outside of the norm in order to contribute with something to compensate for the terrible pain that the old structure represents. They want to reach up and grab the secret blueprint of the original sky father and work with it in order to create a better world, to give people of the collective some sense of autonomy and power to design their own lives.

Chiron in Pisces: Some sense of inherent damage is coped with through letting go of boundaries. Pisces is a boundless sign and sees the divine in everything – the good and the bad, the perfected and the damaged. It’s all in illusion anyway. There’s already a feeling of being lost and irredeemable in the sign of Pisces, but there’s something soothing about it as well. Surrendering and letting go seems to be these people’s way of coping, although it’s forced through immense pain. There is a kind of longing for transcendence in Pisces, a longing to escape into a world where everything is one, where nothing is permanent and everything is transient. In a sense, this is the nature of the world we live in already. Princess Diana had this placement in the 2nd house of material and personal value. She admitted to have struggled with an eating disorder and low self-esteem, which of course affected her body negatively. It seems like she didn’t have very firm boundaries and suffered from a lack of love and connection. Bulimia seems to be quite a fitting manifestation of the need to indulge and take in energy while not being able to digest it and ground it, to make it part of oneself. Pisces is the sign that wants it all but ends up with nothing. There’s no substance to this sign, it is so otherworldly and dreamy. Whitney Houston has Chiron in Pisces in her 1st house. She was a sorry soul in many ways, though incredibly glamorous and magical as well. Sometimes these things go hand in hand. She coped with her pain through drugs and alcohol, through destructive relationships and through fame … the very thing that she coped with hurt her. This is often the way it goes. Coping never heals; it only conceals the symptoms temporarily.

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shititbe · 3 years

Text

Anyway, Peter Parker is Bi, and I Won’t Be Convinced Otherwise.

Firstly, we have to get our bases covered. What exactly is Bi-sexuality? What is sexuality?

Sexuality is defined as a persons identity in relation to gender(s) they are attracted to. Why is this important? Peter’s sexuality has never been specifically stated in the comics, nor in any other form of media. It’s assumed that he is straight because of his popular relationship with Mary Jane Watson in the comics, and the movies.

Now that we have a bases for what exactly sexuality is and how it’s defined, let’s go over Peter’s partners.

Obviously Peter and Mary Jane are a piece of comic book history. They eventually get married, though sadly, during the events of Civil War II (I think, don’t quote me) Peter and Mary Jane sell their marriage to Mephisto in order to save Aunt May

They later had their memories of their marriage restored, they have yet to get back together and it’s been a few issues if I remember correctly. Next we have Peter’s first, and most unfortunate love, Gwen Stacy.

They dated in high school where she later died. Of course, Peter has dated other people (namely, Black Cat, Betty Brant, Carol Danvers, Anna Maria, Cindy Moon, Lian Tang, and so on). Since we have his known history of heterosexuality out there, we need to move onto another important part of Peter’s Bi-sexuality. An important implication in any media, especially queer media though, and that is the homoerotic subtext.

Homoerotic subtext is important part of queer culture, a lot of the time it’s used to portray a characters queerness without saying it out (see: Dorian Gray by Oscar Wild or Great Gatsby By Fitz). In current decade, homoerotic subtext is often used for queer baiting or creating more realistic male friendships.

So what’s the difference between someone creating a health male friendship (or a character comfortable in their heterosexuality) and implying a character is queer?

Here are some examples of a healthy male character, both with himself and his friendships.

Clearly he’s just taking the shit, and messing around with Reed. He’s comfortable enough (or as I like to see it, so traumatized because good god this guy has been Spider-Man since he was 15 good god that’s awful. He probably doesn’t care anymore). Here are some examples of Peter a little more than just a straight man shooting the shit.

This has three meanings. Two of which I will take, one of which is just deeply embarrassing. Despite Peter’s history with humiliating events, I don’t think he would get his own spunk in his eyes. Leaving the other two options, he has experience getting spunk of - some kind - in his eyes, and/or he’s taking the shit again. Which is very likely.

Kissing a cop? For....no reason? A little not so hetero of you Peter.

You can practically hear his disappointment in his voice. Also could be read as taking the shit, but why would you.

Making out with The Thing? Gay.

This one is the most important. Peter is clearly tired, annoyed by his teammates (see wolverine being wolverine in the corner). Shits on fire, its mid battle, and Peter has the audacity to mutter “I hate men” to himself. The only people I have every heard say this in that was are lgbt and straight women, and lgbt men. This kind of expression only comes from people who date, or deal with men in a completely different world than straight men. Straight men use this phrase as an endearment, “Oh have you seen Bill today, I hate that guy.” “Man Jerry can do so many push-ups, I hate that guy.” Very different language, and implications (I also, obviously don’t know how straight men speak).

Now that we’ve gone over our bases, and homoerotic subtext. How else could we gather that Peter Parker is Bi? There are many tropes in media - queer media - that allure to a characters queerness. Like homoerotic subtext, there are ways to tell an audience something without specifically saying it.

This is a gay wedding Peter went to in the recent comics. I don’t know if any of you have been to a gay wedding recently, but Peters face (the first panel above the wedding) is the same exact face I made at my first gay wedding. It’s the face of excitement for not only the couple, but for yourself. The hope that maybe, you too can actually be in a same-sex relationship.

I’m also going to allure to queer tropes as stated previously. Such as the real, and fictional trope of lgbt people sticking together. Thousands of years of belittlement and oppression will make groups of people not want to wonder out, and subconsciously look for others like them.

Johnny Storm (and Wade Wilson since he comes in later but I couldn’t find a picture of the confirmation) is cannon Bi-sexual (Pan-sexual).

Their friendship is deeply homoerotic as most queer friendships in media and real life are. Johnny flirts with Peter on many occasions (saying his ideal women is a female version of Peter, inviting him over to watch is sex tape, and so on) and of course oh my god they were roommates.

Some other popular queer tropes are: Found Family, Soulmates, and Enemies to lovers. Because it’s superhero related, this includes the Identity Porn tag as well.

Peter Parker and Wade Wilson have a famous Love/Hate relationship. I mean, how could you expect anything less when your first meeting with this known mercenary is him throwing your civilian persona out the window of a car. Now, Wade still doesn’t know Peter is Spider-Man in the current run of comics, but that doesn’t make anything about them any less gay.

For the Found Family Trope:

Because it’s Peter and Wade, their whole development can be read as Enemies to Friends to Lovers, so I wont bother backing that up because, uh, it speaks for itself. One panel really does to add that cause though

I’m not going to explain what a free-pass list is.

The Soulmates part I know I have to back up.

For SoulMates:

Now this panel requires a little explanation. Wade kills Peter, not knowing he’s Spider-Man. Weasel takes over for Peter (they don’t know its him) so no one suspects he’s dead. Deadpool begins to feel guilty he killed his best buds best bud, so he tries to bring Peter back to life. Losing his stunning good looks (switching back to how he looked before Weapon X making his wife Shiklah estranged (then she married Dracula but thats beside the point)). Spider-Man is Peter’s “true self” or patronus for Harry Potter fans. Wade is stupid and hasn’t connected the dots yet, effectively making him the biggest simp in history. Seriously, who destroys their marriage for the c h a n c e for getting some with their idol? A Simp, that’s who.

Peter forgives Wade for killing him (and for saving him from killing their genetic daughter itsy-bitsy). If someone killed me they better be hot as fuck before I even thing about forgiving them. Ignoring Peter’s super sexy forgiving nature, uh, he’s kinda simping.

Died in each others arms. Nothing else is needed.

They’re heartmates. From what I read, the feeling has to be mutual in order for it to work. The witches (long story, comics are hard to explain) that captured deadpool were expecting his wife so they could get the headmistress back. Instead, they got Peter. Basically Heartmates = soulmates but chosen for you instead of chosen by you.

To conclude my point:

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

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pretoriafics · 4 years

Text

Therapy sessions with the devil

I'd did this request yesterday on my Portuguese blog, and I thought that you guys would love it!

Anonymous asks: Y/N is a therapist who works for Vought and is doing a few evaluations on the Super.

Word count: 1.806 Contain: Therapist!Reader x Homelander Warnings: Mention of sexual violence, mention of serial killers, mention of cases of children with psychopathy, mental disorders. +16 only Versão em português aqui PART 2 THE BOYS MASTERLIST

Your profession was gratifying.

You loved the idea of helping people, getting to know each other better, and getting them to learn to deal with life's challenges. For you, being a kind of "confidant", where people could talk about their lives without any judgments, was an honor and your purpose. You believed that it would make the world a better place.

However, it also had its burdens. Some things were difficult to hear, even for you with all your knowledge and professional background. Patients who suffered from sexual violence, for example, demanded of you a stomach that you were not always able to have. It was something you talked to your therapist about, and you kept a mantra in mind: After all, you were still human, and it was okay to feel that way.

And when Vought invited you to work as a therapist for The Seven, you went nuts. It was the chance of a lifetime!

Or, at least, this was what you thought at the beginning.

It was not uncommon for you to hear things that made your stomach a little sick, just like when The Deep told you about the way he “welcomed” Starlight. You felt nauseous but, on the outside, remained impassive, just watching him as a silent request to continue to talk.

All of them were, simply, not only media products but also puppets of the advertising world. You already had some political patients, and in fact, you thought The Seven was a similar case: Both went to that market with the intention, many times, to help people. However, they ended up corrupted in the middle of the road, forgetting their whole purpose in helping others.

You saw a point in common between The Seven: Everyone, with perhaps the exception of Starlight, was too worried about their own egos to be real heroes. They were all too narcissistic.

But Homelander was the worst of them.

The childhood phase was the most important part of a person's life. A traumatic childhood could lead to a troubled adult, as in the case of Mary Bell and Beth Thomas. Homelander's case was no different: his non-affectionate childhood, being raised as a laboratory rat, was the bigger reason to make him that kind of man.

Although at the same time you were fascinated about to study a mind like that - since one of the reasons why you did psychology would be to unveil the secrets of the human mind - each therapy session was daunting and made you rethink your job at Vought.

In short, you were interviewing a serial killer. Easily one of the most cruel and unhealthy.

"Good morning, Homelander." Your voice was soft, just like the smile you gave to the super who just sat on the couch.

"Good morning, Doctor." He returned the smile to you, but the smile on his own way: The corners of your mouth pulled to the side in a smile that you recognized as fake.

"So..." You put your hands on your knee, looking at him with the best receptive look you could pretend. There, in that office, your sessions with Homelander made you feel you deserved an Oscar "How was your week?"

“Well…” He lay down on the couch, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling, and his hands joined in front of his stomach “Nothing new. In fact, he had a little incident with Maeve. Sometimes she is so… pathetic. ”

"What happened?"

It took a while for Homelander to actually get some confidence in you. In fact, he only started telling you things in detail when he realized he could get something out of the sessions. They were productive to him, they made him think. You didn't know if you were thanking God for getting something out of him, or if you should cursing yourself because of the horrors he tells you.

"Maybe you saw something about the 37 Flight on the news."

"The one who had been captured by the terrorists?"

"Exactly! Maeve and I had to rescue the plane. We managed to take down the terrorists, but when I killed the last one, in the Pilot's cabin, I hit the plane's controls with the lasers. And then, the flight was doomed. I told Maeve that our job was done and we should leave, but she was reluctant. He wanted me to save the passengers! ” He laughed, but a natural one. "Can you believe that?"

Oh, it was going to be a long therapy session...

"And what happened next?"

“What did she want me to do? That I fly 137 times from the plane to land? Ah, pathetic, pathetic! ” He shook his head, clearly humorous. "Now, just imagine: You are on a flight with 137 people shouting 'Help, Homelander!', While your stupid partner insists that you should do something to save everyone. I was losing patience so I threatened everyone with my eyes, and they finally settled down. I don't blame them, I mean, they are so vulnerable. They are bugs! ” He looked at you, the corners of his mouth pulled in a fake smile. "No offense."

Homelander was a cold-blooded killer. Not only, but like Ted Bundy, he was a narcissist. He liked the feeling of power that invaded his body when he saw that people feared him, and when he felt that he had the power to decide whether that person would live or not. He didn't mind if killing people just for fun was against the law. Homelander didn't care about the law or any kind of rules. Furthermore, just as Bundy believed he was fully capable of defending himself in his court's judgment and did not need lawyers, Homelander thought he was an incarnate God walking among the 'bugs', simply because he had powers.

"And how do you feel about Maeve?"

“She bothered me a little with the drama on the plane, but that's okay. I am sure that after I spoke to the journalists, near the wreckage of the flight, she understood. This is all going to be an excellent opportunity to make our presence in the army happen. ”

A sociopath.

Empathetic behaviors aren't part of him. He was unable to have that feeling. Self-centered, Homelander was unable to love. The relationship he had with Stiwell, for example, was far from loving. He didn't feel it, quite the opposite: Homelander had a feeling of possession with her. She was his, and nobody else's.

A doubt hammered in your head: Homelander was intending to drop the plane? Your stomach was upset, you felt bad about that therapy session. How could Vought leave someone like him in The Seven?

The answer was simple: They didn't care. Homelander was profitable, and that was all that mattered.

That was one of the times when you thanked God that Homelander was self-centered enough to lie on the couch and just think about your own life, instead of analyzing you and realizing that you were completely terrified. It was as if a misstep, a wrong word, was going to cost his life.

And you would end that today.

You conducted the therapy session normally. In the end, you shook hands with Homelander as you always did and closed the door. Tears invaded your face as you thought of each life that was lost in vain on that flight, and, worse, you were sure that Maeve would tell you about the flight at her therapy session, early next week. In an attempt to calm down, you took some coffee and sat down in front of your MacBook. There, sipping coffee, you wrote your resignation letter.

Alright. You were free.

Or at least this was what you thought.

* * *

Another week has started, and the fact that you worked at Vought made you get a more comfortable office, in addition to increasing your service price. You were ending your day. Your last patient had left the office, and you were about to go home when you heard a familiar voice from your couch.

"I miss you in the tower."

Homelander looked at you with his pairs of sick blue eyes, his fake smile, and his murderous hands behind his body. He was standing next to the couch, and you felt your whole body freeze. A lump formed in your throat, and your hands vibrated in pure dread.

So he would kill you there? In your office?

Trying to take control of the situation, you faked a slight smile.

“Sorry, Homelander. I didn't saw you here. Need something?"

"Actually, I do." He started walking towards you slowly. "I didn't want to end our sessions, so I came to ask you what our new schedule is going to be."

You narrowed your eyes.

"I thought Vought was going to hire someone else to work with The Seven in my place."

“In fact, they put an incompetent in your place. I really prefer that we continue where we left off. ” He stopped in front of you with his smile, his eyes emanating pure insanity "I like our therapy sessions."

“I'm glad that you like my job and that you appreciate our results, Homelander” You gave him a smile, but inside you were still in pure dread “But I don't have appointments available. My schedule filled up easily after I came to this new office. ”

“Oh, but I'm sure you can fit me in your schedule. I can pay you well. ”

How to say no to Homelander without putting your life at risk?

You walked over to your tablet, on your desk. You took it in hand and slid your finger on the screen, analyzing awhile. You didn't need him to tell you that you would be paid well. In fact, you were fully aware of that. The point was that you could exchange all the money in the world to be at peace, without having to deal with Homelander. Without much choice, you concluded that you would reserve a single day for your therapy sessions with him. That way, your head wouldn't get so tired when you still had to deal with other patients.

“Are you available on Friday morning? At nine."

He nodded, giving the same smile he did when he achieved something. One of pure contentment.

"Of course!"

"Great so." You typed 'Homelander' in the space corresponding to the hour. You put the tablet down on the table, next to your MacBook “There, it's done. Friday, at nine in the morning. ”

“Ah, perfect! Thank you. Have a good night."

"Good night, Homelander."

He walked over to your balcony. With a jump, he flew through the sky. You lay on your couch, terrified. Would you never get rid of him?

All that was left for you now was to be the therapist of the incarnate Devil.

#the boys imagines #the boys imagine #the boys fics #the boys fanfics #the boys fanfic #the boys fanfiction #homelander x you #homelander x reader #homelander x y/n #homelander imagine #homelander imagines #homelander fics #homelander fanfics #homelander fanfic

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mojoflower · 4 years

Text

WHY is fanfiction not the appropriate venue for your political or social battle?

We can all agree, I posit, that there are changes that need to be made in the world (racism, for example; patriarchal inequalities; rape culture; capitalism; plug in your personal cause here).

We can all ALSO agree, I think, that the way culture, media, etc. portray things influences a consumer on an unconscious level.

We can agree that, in real life, certain things are clearly bad: abuse of others, non-consensual sex, systemic inequality, I can go on….

So. Let me feel my way through this. I, personally, feel like fanfiction (specifically on AO3, since that’s where I encounter it) is NOT an appropriate battleground for enforcing cultural change by:

Leaving comments about how someone’s work is (in your, the commenter’s, opinion) wrong, damaging, unfair, insensitive, etc.

Telling the writer they should change this or that.

Telling the writer they must add or delete tags.

Broadcasting your opinion of the writer’s egregiousness outside AO3 (twitter, for example, or here on tumblr).

Organizing a campaign of harassment against the author if they don’t change to suit your personal requirements.

First of all:

Be the change you want to see.

Fanfiction, unlike any other media out there, is INDIVIDUAL. It is one work, from one single person – voluntary and unpaid. You yourself are one single person. You can have as much influence as this writer. Write the works you want to read, instead of demanding that the writer change to suit you. This is how romance novels changed from non-con, non-condom-wearing, shudderingly unequal stories in the 70s and 80s to where they are now, for example. New people started writing stories, and eventually established authors started changing, too (or dwindled away).

Remember that you know nothing about the author.

You don’t know their culture, their skin color, their age, their gender. You don’t know their socioeconomic status or how much free time they have. You don’t know their current mental or physical conditions. You don’t know any of the things going on in their life. AND. You are not entitled to know these things. When you lash out at an author for not doing research, for not editing, for… anything at all… you cannot assume that they’re not fourteen, not suicidal, not a native speaker, not disabled such that writing a single paragraph is a tremendous effort. You don’t know they’re not in an abusive situation, or economic peril. You do not have the right to tell them to change. Whether you are asking them to change text, tone, tagging, ships, plot, you name it. Anything.

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

Don’t like, don’t read. These are simple concepts, and the tagging system on AO3 helps you to avoid many triggers. Simple common sense, once you're into a story that’s raising your hackles, will warn you away from the rest. If you say, ‘no, this person can’t write that, it’s contributing to pain in the Real World’ then you are functioning as a censor. I mean, at its most basic level, a censor is someone who strikes out passages in books or other media because it’s… immoral/bad/etc. The problem is that morality is incredibly tailored to the group you’re in, and also incredibly fluid, shifting over time. So… why do YOU get to be the censor and not the author? What makes YOU the final word? Seriously, think about it.

Fanfiction writers are the most vulnerable group you could target.

Which makes them easy prey, and possibly makes them the juiciest and most satisfying targets. Address your anger to Hollywood or Simon & Schuster or Congress – and your voice will doubtless get lost in the shuffle. Address it to an author on AO3 and you can deliver your blow personally, one on one, and witness the damage. There is no professional buffer between your resentment and their reaction.

Who are fanfiction writers? Overwhelmingly women, overwhelmingly queer, often very young and inexperienced. Wow. What a rewarding group to start slapping around. You wouldn't be the only one to think so. Seriously. Aim your anger at someone who is STRONGER than you. Not someone who is (likely) weaker than you. You’re kicking a kitten, while a lion lounges behind you.

Censoring someone’s thoughts is bad.

People should be allowed to THINK. And they can think whatever they want. Whether and where and how it should be expressed is another matter. AO3 is a safe place for whatever weird-ass thoughts you have. It is expressly written into their mission statement. AO3 was SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED so that authors could have a place for their dead dove fics.

So. Why is [your pet cause] okay on AO3 and not on a script in Hollywood?

AO3 requires membership before you can post anything, so it’s arguably private. AO3 provides tools for readers to avoid works they might find triggering. AO3 profits no one. Follow the money, and there are your true culprits. Not a housewife from Hoebokken.

Fanfiction writers make no money. When they write, they are not lawmakers, filmmakers, teachers or preachers. This is not their job. They do not have a responsibility to the community, because they are vested with no power and no paycheck. Please move your battlefield to one of these other venues. Your fight will be harder, but it will also do a lot more good than traumatizing some naive kid away from writing forever.

Fanfiction comprises an individual’s personal thoughts and personal works, written for their own enjoyment, shared only through AO3 to (presumably) like-minded readers. Fanfics are a person’s fantasies and daydreams. They might be an author’s therapeutic exercise. Or someone trying to explore something new, whether it be cultures, ideas, sexualities or kinks. Humans need a place where they can be wrong and make mistakes. Think about that, I implore you. If you are constantly pointing out someone’s errors, you may eventually either silence them forever, or instill in them permanent resentment. This does not further your cause.

You have your personal cause.

I’ve seen a lot of them. Incest is bad, you’re not allowed to write about it. Pedophilia is bad, you’re not allowed to write about it. Abusive relationships are bad, you’re not allowed to write about them. Racism is bad, you’re not allowed to write about it. Genderswap is transphobic, you’re not allowed to write about it. A/B/O romanticizes damaging gender inequalities. There are many. If every single one of you got to stamp out your personal crusade, then fic would be scant on the ground and many people wouldn’t try to create anymore. It’s stifling to creativity and terrifying to an author that they might slip up and be called out. No one, as far as I know, likes to think of their fanfiction as something that will be turned in for a grade.

Your standards are your own.

What are the precise parameters of an abusive relationship? Transphobia? Racism? Pedophilia? Fetishism? Where does dub-con become non-con? No one is the mouthpiece for the whole world. You are only the mouthpiece for yourself.

If you think to yourself that it’s not okay to tell someone they can’t write about, say, a gay relationship, but it IS okay to tell them they can’t write about a certain ship or dynamic (for Reasons), then maybe you should step back and check yourself and your entitlement to someone else’s endeavor.

In conclusion:

I’m not saying that racism doesn’t exist in fanfiction. Or creepy sexual abuse, or glorification of harmful dynamics. It certainly does. I’m not trying to play semantics with you.

But when you see these things, when they bother you... back right out.

That’s it. Just back out, ignore it and find a different fic. (Or better yet, write your own!) Shower the fics you approve of with love and comments about why you think they’re great. Give them kudos and bookmarks and shout-outs on your blog. Eventually, if your opinion is popular, authors who thought otherwise will realize that readership is looking for something different. They’ll change or they won’t, but the body of work will change over time, and THAT is what you’re looking to accomplish. Not to stamp out fanfiction altogether.

#mojo muses #fandom wank #censorship #social justice #fanfiction #fandom #I am not disputing the validity of your opinion on Thing #I am disputing your right to push it on a fic author #these are two separate things #cancel culture #antis

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 2 years

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The way the narrative frames Aleksander as not giving Alina choice to be his equal just doesn’t make sense considering they don’t get to have a chance at a real relationship because Baghra ruins everything. And before that there were good reasons for him not to tell her the truth not only because it endangered the Grisha as whole but because he also didn’t know if he could in fact trust her. His much more would have Alina held on to M*l if it Sasha wasn’t keeping the letters from her? And if we’re going to justify Alina’s unhealthy dependence on M*l on her trauma(which the show never really explores beyond shallow level of racism and one casual mention of Alina’s parents dying in the Fold,lol)then we should also take into account Aleksander’s own lifetime of trauma and how that’s shaped how he behaves but if the narrative was allowed to feel compassion for him that would defeat the whole purpose of him being the Big Bad that needs to be put down like an snimal(he’ll even animals get more compassion in this story than Aleksander does which gets to show how biased the narrative is against him).

Yeah I agree with all of this, obviously I think most of the time its best to be truthful but its not always as simple as that. In the narrative Aleks not telling Alina that he was the Black Heretic and that he created the fold is depicted as him being deceitful and deliberately manipulating her because he is evil or whatever, but as you have said in the beginning he's only just met her. He is still trying to figure out if he can trust her and is also trying to earn her trust. I don't know about anyone else but I don't spill my entire history and trauma to a person that I have only just met. As you've said as well, this information is something that could endanger the grisha and it would be foolish from a military stand point to reveal all of his plans to a stranger, even if she is the sun summoner, before making sure he can trust her. But even more than that it could leave him vulnerable too. The things he went through that led to the creation of the fold were very traumatic and left deep wounds for him, its natural that he would keep a guard up and be careful about what parts of his past he reveals to others. I think as his relationship with Alina deepens he also becomes hesitant about revealing the truth to her because so many people have looked at him as a monster that he fears she will too if she discovers the truth. It's so much more complicated than just oh well he lied to her.

I also agree that there seems to be a double standard where people are more willing to excuse other character's actions because they've gone through trauma but dismiss Aleks' trauma and just say he's evil and everyone should hate him, end of. This can be seen in fandoms outside of shadow and bone too, where it seems like people will pick and choose which character deserves to be seen sympathetically and which ones aren't. For example there is a lot of sympathy for characters like Magneto, Loki, Kylo Ren etc because although they do morally grey things they also are complex characters who go through alot of trauma that leads them to that place where their moral lines are blurred. And just to make it clear I'm not saying people shouldn't have sympathy for these characters, they should and I always think it is a good thing to recognise and explore how a character is complex and why they do the things they do. My issue comes in with this picking and choosing and double standard where some characters are afforded this sympathy but then other characters who have similar complexities and backgrounds are just hated on and those who do sympathise with them are also hated on and called apologists and sometimes even worse names. I think two characters that I've seen this happen to in fandoms I am currently in are obviously Aleks but also Ikaris from the marvel film Eternals. I do find it interesting though why this happens why some characters that have very similar backgrounds are loved and others hated, like what makes people love Magneto and Loki and yet hate Ikaris and Aleks? It's very curious to me.

But getting back on track, the whole issue with Aleks not making Alina his equal again is something that is so much more complicated than the narrative lets on. The narrative kind of just says well he could have made her his equal if he wanted but again its impossible for it to be as simple as just him deciding to make her his equal. I really do believe that he saw her as his equal and in many ways he made efforts to present her as his equal, giving her his colour with the black kefta, having her walk into the king's hall with him and not the other grisha. Telling others and her that she is special. I think he wanted her to feel like his equal and be his equal unfortunately she could never truly be his equal whilst he was lying to her about his past and who he really was because he is privy to information she isn't. I do think that Aleks would have eventually told her the truth himself if Baghra hadn't interfered. I had this theory that I mentioned before that I reckoned Aleks took Alina to the war room in episode 5 partly because he was going to tell her the truth about the stag and maybe even his plan for the fold, whether he would also have told her the truth about being the creator of the fold I'm not as sure on but I do think eventually he would have revealed that to her too. If the show follows the same timeline as the books then Alina was at the LP around 5-6 months and during that time in the show we see that Aleks slowly becomes much more relaxed around her and begins to open up to her more and more and allows himself to be vulnerable with her so I think eventually as their bond deepened even further he would have entrusted her with the truth of who he really was.

#darklina #aleksander morozova #answered

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alirhi · 3 years

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Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

#loki #loki spoilers #loki series #loki negativity #loki hate #thor 2011 #the dark world #ragnarok #the avengers #infinity war #endgame #fuck sylvie #fuck marvel #fuck disney #this show sucked #ragepost #rant #long post #ali is angry

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syn0vial · 3 years

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important question number 3 what do you have on boba and sintas vel 👀 - lekkui

i have... some things! honestly, i wish sintas’s portrayal had been a little more solid in the EU. it varied wildly between writers and in certain comics, she had little more characterization than “beautiful, tough bounty hunter chick.” i hope if they revisit her in new canon, they give her a more nuanced, more consistent depiction. also i’ll be ignoring said comics for the purposes of this post bc it’s my blog and i’m too sleepy for salt right now

but yes, onto the bullet points!

for those unaware, sintas vel was a female kiffar bounty hunter who boba tried to start a new life with when they were teenagers. they both got out of the bounty hunting game and settled down on concord dawn, where they got married and had a daughter, ailyn. boba was 16 and sintas was 18 at the time.

one of the things i find most interesting about the two of them, especially when they were teenagers: ailyn was consistently the more logical and level-headed of the two of them, while boba was always more emotional and impulsive. tragically, it’s this impulsivity that leads boba to fuck up so badly and, ironically, to transform into the emotionally detached asshole we know later on.

but yeah, this dichotomy is seen pretty early on in a flashback-by-proxy, in which we learn that the whole romantic run-away-together-and-get-married-and-start-a-new-life-somewhere-far-away plan? 100% BOBA’S IDEA.

in particular, we get the briefest snippet of an exchange where boba is trying his hardest to convince sintas that this would be a good idea. and, no exaggeration, it goes like:

sintas: “i mean, it’s kind of very obvious that you don’t know what you’re doing--” boba: “THINGS I KNOW: YOU’RE GOOD AT SHOOTING THINGS. YOU’RE PRETTY??? I TRUST YOU A LOT. see this is a good idea :)”

TEENAGE BOBA FETT: PURE OF HEART, DUMB OF ASS

anyway, boba fett and noted-morosexual sintas vel make their way to concord dawn. here’s some things we know about their relationship before everything went to shit:

nicknames! they referred to each other with the first syllable of each others’ names: bo and sin. very cute :)

they got married using a traditional mandalorian wedding vow. neither of them had any idea what the mando’a meant, bless their hearts.

as a marriage token, boba gave sintas a small red heart-of-fire gemstone tied on a simple leather cord. it was the best he could afford which, at the time, wasn’t much. however, it had significance to sintas as a kiffar; kiffars are near-humans whose members possess an unusually high occurrence rate of telemetry, or the ability to read memories from objects. heart-of-fire gemstones were said to be among the best for storing such memories.

SHIPPY FIC WRITERS TAKE NOTE. three words to describe boba in a committed relationship: PROTECTIVE. AS. HELL. absolutely unwilling to tolerate so much as a dirty look towards sintas. maybe even a little paranoid. kind of understandable given how much grief he’d already endured in his short life.

it didn’t save them

ok, fair warning, here’s the point where shit gets traumatic, so if you want to know nothing but the relatively happy stuff, STOP READING HERE. also, CWs for manipulation, sexual assault, murder, and imprisonment, bc nobody in this canon is allowed to be happy :(

last chance to turn back!

ok. onto the traumatic shit.

so! boba and sintas are doing fine. operation stop-being-teenaged-bounty-hunters-and-try-to-pass-for-normal is going pretty well! not only do they have their own functional little family unit, but boba has a job as a journeyman protector. basically think of them as like. mando frontier lawmen. and on top of that, boba has been taken under the wing of his superior officer and son of a local magistrate, lenovar.

we don’t know much about lenovar (like, is that his first or his last name, for example...) but we know that boba and sintas trusted him and that boba in particular looked up to him as both a friend and mentor.

however, lenovar was not what he seemed. once he had the young couple’s trust, he managed to get sintas alone and raped her.

in the aftermath, sintas performed some brutally pragmatic mental calculus: lenovar was a high-ranking journeyman protector and son of a magistrate. she and boba were two struggling teenagers with a baby, escaping checkered pasts. retaliating against lenovar would likely destroy them. which meant not only that she couldn’t retaliate against lenovar; she had to make sure boba wouldn’t, either.

so. how do you keep your extremely protective, impulsive former-bounty-hunter husband from flying off the handle and murdering your rapist?

you don’t tell him about it. you don’t tell anyone about it :(

argh just reading this i’m feeling salty that we get so little of sintas’s perspective on any of this. it’s all just “how did this make boba feel? how did it affect boba’s life?” and it’s like GOOD GOD. this woman is now maybe 20 years old, making the absolutely-gutting decision to keep her sexual assault a secret from her closest friend bc it’s the only way to protect her and him and their daughter from being steamrolled by the system. and like, nobody thought to expand on that?

nope, we just get a comic where she’s needlessly sexualized and drawn to look young enough to be boba’s daughter despite the fact that she’s older than him and ugh

OKAY. enough salt. moving on.

sintas’s plan works for all of a year, at which point boba somehow finds out the truth. and everything goes straight to hell.

boba, finding out that sintas kept her sexual assault by lenovar a secret for a whole year (and remember, boba was probably continuing to work under and look up to lenovar during this time), is utterly furious. of course, he wants nothing more than to murder the shit out of lenovar and is only further enraged when sintas tries to logically talk him out of it. in his anger, he proceeds to verbally torch ALL the bridges in their relationship, at one point even cruelly questioning if ailyn is even his daughter. he then storms off and makes good on his threats to kill lenovar

in the aftermath, boba was branded not just a murderer, but the murderer of his superior officer—an even more serious crime. yet, despite repeated interrogations, he refused to say why he had done it, fearing that doing so would drag sintas down with him. he only insisted that he felt no remorse for killing lenovar and that lenovar deserved to die.

in the end, his efforts didn’t save sintas—the courts seized all of what meager assets they had, leaving them all penniless. boba was then exiled from concord dawn and wouldn’t see his wife and daughter again for fifty years.

after everything that happened, boba was a changed person. it’s as if that spark of optimism and dare-i-say goodness that had survived his father’s death was snuffed out, leaving only a cynical, angry shell, laser-focused on violence because it was the one part of his father’s legacy he hadn’t yet failed.

sintas and ailyn, meanwhile, struggled to pull themselves out of poverty, with sintas reluctantly returning to bounty hunting to support them. ailyn never forgave her father for abandoning them, which led to its own equally-disastrous tragedy some decades down the line.

moral of the story is to listen to your wife and don’t make her sexual assault all about your stupid need for revenge. like, i get that the rapist needs to die but maybe like... work with your wife and make it look like an accident? don’t be an impulsive fucking inconsiderate idiot? maybe realize that your wife probably just endured the most hellish year of her life to protect YOUR dumb ass?

honestly, as frustrating as teenage!boba is, you can’t even be that angry at him bc like... he and sintas were both victims reacting imperfectly to absolutely shit circumstances. lenovar is the real villain here.

never going to be over how tragic it is that these two kids tried so fucking hard to derail their villainous origin stories, only to be forced onto even more brutal tracks bc the one adult they should’ve been able to trust in their situation ended up being a predator :(

#snowberry-pie #sintas vel #boba fett #lenovar #the fact that sintas was never spotlighted as a perspective character in the EU....... criminal

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1990jeevas · 3 years

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Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

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padawanlost · 3 years

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the clones were essentially slaves and the jedi allowed it. they are in fault for accepting the army in the first place; and for those who think this is a hard pill to swallow; apathy by not calling out they were slaves. i really think this shows the corruption in both the republic and the order itself but most people defend the jedi for some reason. the jedi weren’t the only victims of order 66; the clones who got their free will overridden were somehow always out of the question. having a inhibitor chip that somehow can control your actions is a scary dystopian-ic sort of concept.

and yet, the clones had to go through this but no one acknowledges that because they don’t want to blame the jedi for accepting what essentially is a slave army 🤷

yeah i have a lot of feelings

I think we live in age where being fan means refusing to acknowledge we don’t like. sure, fandoms are supposed to be fun so it’s normal for us to want to engage only with the parts that make us happy. However, I’ve been noticing with growing concern a new trend where only the parts we want to engage are welcomed as valid fandom community.

The Jedi Order is prime example of this. We have fans who love them, fans who hate them and fans who enjoy them in parts. All are fans, all are valids. But I’ve noticed that, tumblr at least, is no longer a safe place for fans who want to discuss topics that ‘jedi stans’ find unflattering.

Not to sound all fandom-elder but back in my day when someone said something like ‘I think the Jedi did something wrong’ someone would disagree and life would go one. now it seems people who want to talk about anything beyond the ‘I love this and everything about is perfect’ mentality is considered a fandom-terrorist. Someone who is actively ‘ruining’ the fandom experience for everyone else, even if said ‘hater’ is not engaging with anything, even if they are simply posting their opinion on their own blog. Considering we are talking about a platform where performative wokeness is the norm, it’s not all that surprising that people will resort to self-victimization when arguments fails them.

What any of this has to with do with clone slavery? Everything! Because that’s a sour topic in this fandom. it’s amazing how something so painfully obvious – slavery is *always* wrong – became such controversial topic. It says a lot about the overall mentality of the fandom when people argue pro-slavery because the opposite would mean their fave character did something morally wrong.

Again, when wokeness is perfomative something as innocent as enjoying a fictional character can put a crack in the image you’re trying to sell. If you’re a victim of cruel, abusive fandom that is ‘ruining everything’ for you, of course everything you consume must be pristine as your image. On top of that, if the fans (who disagree with you) are inherently evil and wrong, you don’t have to spend as much time and energy arguing their points. You can just say they are bad people and get some sympathy points.

To make matter worse, after the ‘stan culture’, we also have to deal with racism and sexism. If you pay attention to the argument defending clone enslavement and the role everyone played in it, you’ll notice the issue is not so much that people don’t care about slavery and murder. They simply don’t care about the enslavement and murder of anyone who isn’t a (white) favorite.

For everyone fan saying Anakin was wrong in killing innocent tusken children, there’re at least 3 fans saying they deserved it because they were savages who needed to pay for their parents crimes (or that killing them made the people safer). However, these same fans will relentlessly argue that Anakin killing that cute little boy in ROTS is one of the most vile crimes put on screen because he was such innocent, pure little boy.

The same goes for the clones. Anakin and Obi-wan being enslaved for a few days was traumatizing, cruel, vile, etc; the clones being enslaved for years and used as cannon fodder is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (the main point being that everyone, including the jedi, did everything they could to save the clones…and by everything they could, they usually mean nothing at all)

More recently, we have the clone wars finale. A heartbreaking hour of tv made to illustrate how cruel and unfair the war was *for the clones* and yet the main complaint was the show not taking its time to show the real victims of Order 66 (the jedi). We had a whole blockbuster, full-length movie illustrating the tragic end of the Jedi Order but people were still pissed Filoni dedicated an hour to show the clones were victims too.

To be honest, I’m done arguing this because experience has told me people aren’t interesting in talking about the issue, they just want their faves to look good. They don’t really care about the clones beyond their relationship with the beloved Jedi (Obi-wan’s men, Anakin’s men, Plo Koon’s men…they are never viewed as their own men, men who should be allowed a choice to exist beyond the role forced – and enforced – upon then).

I’ve said this a countless time before and I’ll say it again, there’s no justification for slavery. No righteous course action beyond doing everything in your power to stop it, and if you don’t have any power to act by yourself it’s your moral (and legal) duty to make sure people with power act on your behalf. If you’re not a legal enforces, you can still make sure you vote for the right leaders, protest, write letters, contact the government, go on strike, protests, etc. sitting on your ass because ‘there was not nothing you could do’ is not a valid (or even accurate) option when it comes to the enslavement of human beings. And, imo, it’s fucking sad this even needs to be said.

The clones, the children and everyone else enslaved in the GFFA deserved better, deserved someone willing to help them, deserved more than empty words and gestures. And that’s a hill I’m more than ready to die on.

But hey, wtf do i know?

[The Jedi] are being corrupted by this war, by being forced to be generals instead of peacemakers. – George Lucas

#ask #lukegarmadon #sw meta #meta: fandom #clone troopers #meta: clones #gffa slavery #txt #jedi order #jedi politics

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mollymarymarie · 3 years

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20 questions Writer’s Edition

Thanks @blitheringmcgonagall for tagging me in this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

696,047

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Harry Potter (Marauders Era) Marvel (Stucky, Bucky/OC, Pietro/OC) And then one about Sam Kiszka from Greta Van Fleet (that I wrote as a commission, sort of) and one I wrote about Lee Pace (cause I saw it in a dream lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Lad That Loved You - sort of canon Hogwarts-era fic with a twist on The Prank (Remus and Sirius pretend to fight to cover up their relationship)

When It Counted - Remus gets spiked with Veritaserum and makes Sirius (and everyone else) believe it was Amortentia to cover up the truth

Vow Under the Covers - Remus is getting married. And not to Sirius. And Sirius has to decide if he can live with that.

Save Me, Save Me, Save Me - Remus thinks Sirius is in love with his neighbor and offers to help cook her dinner (Sirius and Marlene have to pretend to be attracted to each other, despite being VERY GAY, to cover up Sirius’ feelings)

Heavy In Your Arms - Sirius is the Slytherin prefect and has to nurse Remus Lupin back to health after a vicious full moon

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

ABSOLUTELY - comments make my whole day, my whole week, I want people who take the time to comment to know that I LOVE THEM DEARLY

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s a one-shot, but the angstiest ending is definitely in Where The Willow Don’t Bend (the story is about Remus becoming one of the ghosts at Hogwarts, so it’s OBVIOUS that it is not going to exactly end ... happily)

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Generally, I tend to write all my fics with happy endings? Real life has enough terrible endings on its own AND I’M HERE TO ESCAPE FROM THAT OKAY

But honestly, I think the ending in Heavy In Your Arms is QUITE happy :)

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’ve never written a crossover! I don’t write for enough fandoms to have done that, I guess. Mostly just HP and Marvel and there isn’t a lot of room for crossover there, lol (besides, I haven’t written for Marvel in ages)

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Somewhat. In Show Me Everything I Missed, I had someone tell me they were disappointed with how I made Remus be the emotional weight-bearer of the fic. But it was DIRECTLY after Sirius had gone through a VERY traumatic event, so of course Remus would be trying to help him through it. I get where they were coming from, and I guess I should be honored that my characters made them upset? isn’t that kind of the point of angst??

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. For me, I went to private school (read: religious), so it was heavily instilled in me that sex is bad and disgusting and dirty, but then you get married and suddenly it’s beautiful and holy and important? So it took me a long time to be comfortable with sex in general, even more so with the idea of writing it down, but the idea of “smut” is kind of nonsensical to me. We go through all these things as human beings and those are all okay to write and to read and to experience, but a BASIC HUMAN NEED for most people is something to be hidden?? I’m going on a rant, but basically, I’m tired of the stigma, I guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not ... directly?? I have had people tell me, after the fact, that they posted my fic on a site outside of AO3 but it was still listed as being written by me, but I didn’t have an account with that site. I was still sort of weirded out by that one.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! I had someone ask my permission to translate to ... Italian? I think? I can’t quite remember, but that was kind of cool, I guess. Again, it’s sort of iffy with those things because I think this was on a third-party site, too, so I was kind of indirectly attached to it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I never have! I have a problem with deadlines and working as a group looool I think i have control issues?? hahahahah

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Wolfstar, hands down. I’ve been writing Wolfstar for, gosh, almost ten years. Which, comparatively is not that long, but it’s longer than any other ship for me

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have a couple WIPs for characters that are NOT Wolfstar that I’d like to finish (mostly the one about Cassidy from Preacher, because I have a MASSIVE Joe Gilgun crush) but I haven’t written on it in YEARS so it’s probably not happening

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh gosh. okay, so i’m not good at answering these. I think I write smut relatively well? I do pretty good angst I think?? My characterization is usually something people enjoy? (honestly, i just write them as MY own versions of the character, but people seem to agree with me for the most part??)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I FOUND THIS OUT RECENTLY - i am not always good at following through with a plan for a fic and also i am not good at writing down what i see in my head. for example, if a character has black hair and glasses in my head (but maybe not necessarily in canon), i often have to go back and add these details because halfway through, i’ll be like DID I EVEN TELL THEM WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE AT ALL???

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

oh i’m SHITE at it. I wish I could speak another language well enough that I could incorporate it into my fics, but I doubt that will ever happen for me! (I had quite a bit of French dialogue in We Can Pretend and it went okay, but I did have someone tell me I had a grammatical error because I just used Google Translate lol)

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

this is going to be a HILARIOUS answer, but ... the Good Charlotte fandom. I never posted it, just my friends read it (I had quite a few fics about boys in bands back then, I was sixteen) but yeah it was a total soap opera. Like. outrageous.

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

They all have uniquely special places in my heart, but I have two favorites:

We Can Pretend - Remus and his father are the butlers for the Black family, and Remus has to figure out how to take care of Sirius while hiding his feelings

Heavy in Your Arms (the Slytherin!Sirius one, and also Ravenclaw!Remus!)

#tag game #Thanks Mia!#fic asks

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everything-laito · 3 years

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Hypersexuality and Laito Sakamaki (UPDATED)

Hiya guys! Been a long ass time since I’ve made a post like this, I’ve been getting so much ask box activity + had school so I haven’t had the time to make an original post! This has been something I wanted to write for a while, and not only was I busy with school, but this one hits home hard to me personally, so I was going back and forth for a bit writing it. But I think I’m ready :)

I know there’s kind of a general consensus that anything DL related comes along with a trigger warning whether stated or not, but just a TW considering I’ll be talking about some real life experiences; not in depth or detail of course, but just mentions of it :) Not only is this a Laito analysis but it’s also an educational tool to help other people know about this!

So, without further ado, rant under the cut!

Hypersexuality is something that many sexual assault/harassment and rape survivors experience after the abuse. People associate asexuality or sexual repulsion as the only (or common) psychological affect after experiencing those situations. However, there is another affect that can happen, and it is more common than people think, and aforementioned, it’s hypersexuality. It’s basically having more sexual feeling and urges after the experience, in order to cope with the nonconsensual one. And it’s exactly what Laito experienced after Cordelia’s abuse.

I’ve also experienced something like this. I don’t believe I’ve experienced it in full swing, but definitely something like it. I haven’t been raped thankfully, but I have been sexually harassed/assaulted before a handful of times. I know I’ve briefly mentioned that in other analyses, but I’m just explicitly stating it here.

I first learned about hypersexuality this year actually, and my Laito nerd brain was like “holy shit that’s the name of what Laito is going through.” Then I was like “oh fuck I’ve gone through that a little bit too.” I thought going along with would help me “heal” myself, and it really was doing the opposite. (UPDATE: realized that what I thought was a lot of sexual trauma/hypersexuality was mostly compulsory heterosexuality (but still with those dabbled in too—quite a terrible combo) because last month I realized I’m not attracted to men! Although those experiences I mentioned did mess me up a bit, realizing this is a huge step in the right direction for my own mental well being. Just had to make this correction on my part, since the original post had more emotional investment than I would have liked it to :))

Like I have said in my little update, I realized I was going through mostly compulsory heterosexuality while also going through some minor sexual trauma/hypersexuality. Although again, I have not had it as bad as Laito has or other sexual assault survivors (which I am grateful for that), I still have a personal grasp of coping mechanisms with traumatic experiences or experiences I did not particularly enjoy. (If you are interested in learning more about compulsory heterosexuality, feel free to send me an ask! I just don’t feel that it’s appropriate to talk about it in regards to Laito or make a post about it, since it doesn’t relate to him)

And that’s probably also why I can resonate with Laito so much, at least on that scale, and even if I experienced a grain of what he’s going through. I know he’s fictional but these are definitely real experiences and real feelings.

Laito’s case is a bit different than just feeling overtly sexual. Although he’s trying to heal himself through sex and other intimate actions, he’s also doing it as a type of revenge. He doesn’t like purity, and in fact, he’s quite jealous of it. I’ve heard this is also a pretty human way of coping with this type of abuse, and it is why I love Yui as a character. She’s incredibly strong and sets an example for Laito. This makes Laito jealous yet entertained by her, and that’s also a reason why he probably keeps her around. He also attempts to use Yui as a vessel to avenge his own feelings (even not knowing about Cordelia being in her at first). I personally wasn’t like that, but given the circumstances, there’s definitely people who are. Laito’s character can be so human to me sometimes, its astonishing, despite him being a character, a vampire, and just generally does some wacky or terrible shit.

You could say his hypersexuality could also be similar to typical Pavlovian Conditioning. You’ve probably heard of the whole experiment of training (conditioning) a dog to expect food when they hear a certain sound and thus, his mouth waters. We’re conditioned by a lot of things in our lives, from triggering a “flight or fight” response from this specific ringtone or high school bell. It’s just a built in “routine” our minds utilize to process pattern recognition. I know I say this a lot, but we don’t know how vampire brains in the DL universe compare to human brains (and quite frank, I don’t think we will), so I will just do my typical human brain picking.

In Laito’s case, he was conditioned to “love” Cordelia in a fashion that was incredibly gross. No, I won’t sugar coat it. In my Cordelia/Laito analysis, I talk about how Laito was probably groomed. Grooming is another type of conditioning. Although I don’t believe his grooming was sexual, it definitely “prepares” the victim to be exploited in that fashion later on. It’s to build a false sense of trust to be betrayed. Later on, when Cordelia started having sex with Laito, he became used to it in a “conditioned” fashion. When someone said that Cordelia was calling him, he knew what it was. He also thought it’s what he wanted, even though he knew that he didn’t. I believe I have referenced his MB Dark Prologue monologue before, but not this part of it. Here’s the monologue:

――Who is it that I give my love to? Throwing myself away, I caught the sight of someone Someone I didn’t recognize, Suddenly, I realized I was looking into a mirror. The mirror reflected myself within it. I couldn’t see anything else. I am disgraceful for this greed. I was wearing a visage. What I wanted, certainly was love. It’s not that easy. Because of these words, I suffer. No matter how many times love is said, The only thing that will be important to me, Is only the physical contact and body.

I know I've said it in the Laito/Cordelia analysis, but Laito is visibly confused in his flashbacks. He’s trying to grasp what love is, but then convinces himself that love is physical contact, and not emotional connection, especially near the end. He knows he’s suffering but he is still conditioned to think like this. Same case for people who suffer from hypersexuality.

Although many people do not know why it occurs, it can be a symptom or “side effect” from disorders, medication, and the like. In the sexual trauma case, I believe a main reason is that the person utilizes sex to cope with trauma, or because they are used to sexual acts being forced upon them. That’s where conditioning still comes in. He’s treated as one of her suitors, lovers, or the like. Even as a stand-in for Richter and Karlheinz. He doesn’t consider Cordelia to be his mom until the DF Vampire ending. On top of him not receiving emotional gratification which leads to all sorts of just awful stuff for him, sexual attention is the only type that he receives until Yui comes along. He is used to not having emotional support or connections, which is why physical contact is what he is more “comfortable” with, while at the end of the day it still does not satisfy him.

It creates a positive feedback loop of him being unsatisfied, while being confused about where he’s unsatisfied in, leading to him trying to “fix” himself or avoid his own personal, emotional problems through lust and sex, but then still finding himself not “healing.” Then the cycle continues, enthusing his hyper sexual behavior even more.

I was sent some great articles from @souchiika on the DL discord (thank you so much!) and one of the articles stood out to me, since I did not talk about this type of topic on this blog yet. Here’s the link to the article, and here’s the quote that stood out to me!

Furthermore, indirect effects were also statistically significant, providing support to the hypothesis that depression and guilt would be serial mediators of trauma-hypersexual behavior relations. The paths through depression and guilt have been found to be the most significant with moderate and high indirect effects on hypersexuality. Moreover, male gender, as covariate variable, is a relevant risk factor for hypersexual behavior.

Hypersexuality is something that is still being researched like I mentioned earlier, but since these findings came out, it definitely makes sense in Laito’s case (and in general). Like I said, Laito does feel unsatisfied and even shameful of his actions, which is more apparent in the beginning of his and Cordelia’s “relationship.” In those flashbacks, he asks himself if this is what he really wants, and although he attempts to force himself to like these actions as a coping mechanism, there is still a relative degree of shame and guilt he has. It is also apparent nearing his DF Ecstacy ending when he finds out that Karlheinz foresaw Cordelia having sex with him, and even wanted it to happen. All that shame and guilt came bellowing out while he was in a fit of distress. In initial attempts to mediate this guilt and shame, he projected his feelings onto other women through sexual acts, leading to more of this hypersexual loop. I know I talk about Laito projecting a lot, but it is frequent in his character. Like I’ve always said, it’s typical “bully” power dynamic manipulation. If Laito can bring a victim of his down to his level, then he feels better about himself (but it satisfies him for only a short while, until Yui in MB+).

Also, note that this is no excuse or justification for him to rape or sexually assault others. It is merely an explanation as to why he does it (as for my posts in general, it’s not a justification, it’s an explanation).

Another reminder that rape and sexual assault isn’t about the sexual urges, but about power. That’s why anybody with any background can do it, given the circumstances.

This post was a bit hard for me to write, so I apologize if I got too overtly personal for your liking. Like I’ve said in the past, I’m not writing this to gain sympathy too, and sure that sounds superficial of me to say now (although I truly mean it), I just want to use my platform as an educational tool. Sorry about the change in my typical tone :)

Sorry if this was too much of a doozy, I really wanted to talk about it and to educate people, despite it being a bit personal. I just felt like the most effective way was to convey how real this topic is, despite this fandom knowing about it in a fictional setting.

I hope you have a great day! -Corn

#analysis #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #corn gets personal #sakamaki raito #raito sakamaki #diabolik lovers #dialover #dialovers #dl

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