#also the tags make sense

[the-land-of-eternal-winter-novel]

I posted 136 times in 2022

That's 136 more posts than 2021!

78 posts created (57%)

58 posts reblogged (43%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tzarina-alexandra

@dalriata-propaganda-department

@scarvenartist

@the-land-of-eternal-winter-novel

I tagged 135 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#the land of eternal winter - 114 posts

#my novel - 91 posts

#draft 1 - 62 posts

#anatoliy - 21 posts

#gintare - 13 posts

#sveta - 12 posts

#scene - 9 posts

#radek - 8 posts

#afanasiy - 7 posts

#draft 2 - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#the chapter was named something like the country in which winter never ends or something less spiritual sounding than land and eternal

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Now that I finished posting the chapters I can finally post my latest illustration

This depicts the very first scene of the very first chapter. You can read it by searching #chapter 1

I have re written the first scene a little, although I haven't gotten round to the entire chapter

_______

The prince rushed down the hallway, with a determined look, heavy, steady steps and a large pile of newspapers. Entering the main dining room, he didn't even bother to sit down before slamming the papers against the table. He pointed his finger to the title of an article and told his brother-in-law next to him:

"Read that!"

“Maksim Vladimirovich Sokolov died in a fire in his own laboratory, only a day after having been found guilty of his parents’ poisoning. ”

"As he very well deserved!" he exclaimed, full of confidence.

"What is it that you want from me, Tolya? You arrive late for breakfast, you don't greet me and now you desperately want me to read this 25 year old newspaper. You weren't even born then!"

"Sorry, Radek, but this was rather urgent. You didn't believe me when I told you of lab-made diseases, so I did a bit of research on that. If they existed then, they also do now. Read the other articles as well, you'll find everything you need to know about that 'scientist'.”

Radek looked at him in confusion for a second, then widened his eyes in disbelief. It was only now that he noticed Anatoliy was dressed the same as the previous day, and he was pale and with dark circles under his eyes.

"Did you stay up all night just to prove me wrong? It wasn't that serious of a debate either!"

"I knew you wouldn't take me seriously, so I went to the archives immediately after finishing yesterday's breakfast in order to do some research. I was certain I would find much information, and as you can see, I did."

Radek placed his palms on his forehead and sighed, then continued:

"Please, stop now. (...)"

______

I may be insecure about other parts of my writing but I am very satisfied with the opening for this novel, I think it sets the stage well in terms of mood and characterisation.

4 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

As I have mentioned many times both here and on main, I have already written and posted draft 1, and I am now working in some capacity on draft 2, which is going to contain smaller or greater changes.

Please refer to these links for future reference:

Description of the plot:

All LoeW art posted ever:

https://www.deviantart.com/tzarina-alexandra/gallery/71744393/the-land-of-eternal-winter-art

All draft 1 chapters:

https://www.deviantart.com/tzarina-alexandra/gallery/73346611/the-land-of-eternal-winter-draft-1-chapters

Main tumblr: @tzarina-alexandra

4 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#3

🖊Your main character

Thank you for the ask!

The main character of my novel is Anatoliy, the son of the emperor (but not the heir; he is the middle child).

In terms of personality, he is a very passionate person, both for the better (he puts a lot of attention and care into his interests and his loved ones) and for the worse (in modern times he would 100% be diagnosed w/ OCD, being unable to let go of his fears and worries). His main quality would be honesty and his main flaws would be stubbornness and recklessness. He thus perceived by others as rather immature (he's almost 22 in the first chapter) and a bit of a conspiracy theorist, but he is well loved by his family despite the disagreements.

In terms of values, he is very religious (but it would be accurate to say that he tends towards legalism). What he values the most in life is justice, but to the detriment of forgiveness, and honesty, to the detriment of grace.

In terms of relationships, he is the kind of person to put people into two main groups: friends vs enemies. Towards people he considers to be friends he is very kind and loyal, but, as he in fact does in the first chapters, he would take matters into his own hands if he thought somebody harmed his loved ones. As it stands, his circle of trusted people is rather small, consisting mostly of his family members (father, two sisters, a brother-in-law, 3 nephews, uncle and as of recent his wife and newborn).

The main plot involves him assassinating the neighboring king because he believed him to be guilty for his father's death, and only afterwards does he learn that the man was innocent.

(#anatoliy for pictures or posts about him)

5 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#2

The Land of Eternal Winter - Political Compass 9×9 - ultimate character sheet + worldbuilding masterpost

Auth-Left

Including actual communists but generally just working class people and their adjacent labour unions, political parties etc

See the full post

6 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I wanted to draw her with a candle for some time because I thought it would be symbolic, as the meaning of the name Elena is something along the lines of candle

11 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #literally so excited #very satisfied with the end top 5 #also the tags make sense #top rebloggers yeah obviously #etc

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

#tloz #a link to the past #zelda #link #my art #I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one... #I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea #I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat. #it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd #if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl...... #I'm falling back into my old ways rn though #anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends #like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder #they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it #in a proper way that might make sense.... #if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth #and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh

[secondbeatsongs]

well folks. I've done it

at long last, I have reached the end of the boops

#boop #boop-o-meter #boop o meter #tumblr #april fool's day #god. that was a lot of work #I'm here though. I did it #that's what I wanted #see you all later #also if my icon change doesn't make sense to you still #look in my #dreams #tag #you'll get there eventually #have a nice night y'all

[sixofclovers]

flips the fishbowl like an hourglass

#the sandman #netflix #morpheus #dream of the endless #dream #he has so many names #ignore the joke im just nervous abt this one in case the visuals dont make sense like i think they make sense #hes in the glass bubble all twisted up but its like an hour glass too #mr snadman man me a sand and all that #soc art #i need a tag for paintings specifically #painting #also ill stop using this green yellow grey palette when i die #wait i changed the comment the new ones better

[ryllen]

and some extra unused stuff while they are in affectionate mood

#the headlap kiss is just a scene on let's talk chu episode 2 that i really like; yuu was offering a massage & massaging his temples with her #thumbs; saying you really should release pressure from this area #i may be lazy to render it fully but i also feel that my sketches deliver the sense of movement better #(and avoiding to make any sense of the anatomy i am confused about) #(like which is going where) #and so because of all the cluster of lines; ur mind will make its own mind which line would make it look right #FUK I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE I POST THIS ALREADY FHSDH I WAS STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WRITE ON TAGS #twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #twst mc #fanart #damn they are finally kissing and they meant it #this makes my chest all hot and bothered #suggestive

[starrjoy]

Pandora AU good ending <3

#space rat was talking about them on twitter and I cant stop thinking about it #it sounds crazy but if you think about it it makes perfect sense #also jet has a type #he’s dated all three of the triplets and i stand by this #manjet #jet the hawk #manic the hedgehog #my art #starrjoy #sonic fanart #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #pandora au #sure ill tag that #pandora au good ending

[maddymoreau]

Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.

When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”

Diavolo responds:

“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.

Along with how Diavolo describe his father.

It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.

Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.

Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.

His childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.

The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.

Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.

#Demons and Humans can’t get married even in the present so it adds an extra layer him wanting to introduce us. #There’s a lot more you could add onto this (please do I’d love to hear other’s thoughts). #Like how Diavolo’s childhood affected him just look at the way he describes himself: #“The truth is I am a child in a way. A child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting.” #A lot of Diavolo’s poor behavior while not excused comes from his childhood. #How Diavolo admits to using his position to force others to do what he wants. Along with how he doesn’t like sharing. #Diavolo’s insecurities in his friendships with others. #Mainly Lucifer and Barbatos which makes sense with how they happened. #IE Forcing Barbatos to become his butler and the oath/deal with Lucifer regarding Lilith. #It’s clear Diavolo is very lonely and carrying a heavy burden. #I like that MCs presence is helping him change into a better person. #Also I don’t think Diavolo hates his father their relationship just isn’t good and very complicated. #Diavolo is such a wonderful character if you have any in-depth posts about him please tag me I’d love to read them!!! #I AM FILLED WITH SAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT DIAVOLO TONIGHT!!!! #Obey Me #Obey Me Spoiler #Obey Me Nightbringer #OMSWD #Obey Me Diavolo #Diavolo #MaddyMajolish #Is it obvious I can’t sleep because I’m riddled with Blorbo thoughts

[wasyago]

something incredibly self indulgent

#i dont know???????????? #also the plot is a mess and doesn't make any sense and literally doesn't exist so don't ask me about it #i just wanted to draw human versions of caspian and gillion and then something weird happened... #jrwi riptide #jrwi fish and chips #just in case #and that's all im gonna tag for now #actually no #jrwi swordfish #>:) #they're dating #i think? i dont know. its complicated #again this thing is a giant mess i have no idea what's going on #uhhhhhhh #my art #sketch

[kaladinkholins]

Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.

And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.

And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.

Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.

This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.

And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.

Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.

So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.

It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.

Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.

These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.

Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.

Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.

And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).

But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.

Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.

On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:

"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."

Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.

And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.

Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.

So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.

This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.

In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.

To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #just in case... im gonna tag this as #mizukemicritical #akemizucritical #though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters #for that reason lemme also tag this as #wank.mp3 #feel free to disagree of course but please be civil #and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3 #fandom.rtf #meta dissertations.pdf #shut up haydar #edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun! #it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it #it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future #but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me #but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!! #plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!! #i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!! #but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.

[philsbrownquiff]

Guys, Phil is 37…. Debating if they’ll have kids or not is pointless he’s already too old to be getting pregnant without complications (geriatric pregnancy starts at 35), not to mention his health problems. Like Dan should’ve knocked him up years ago, they’re really past the point of no return. Sorry about it but they’re not stupid, they would’ve already done it if they were gonna

#does this joke even make sense #I really do not know #and I don’t know why I’m making it #mpreg #male pregnancy #lyd.og #phan #oh god that tag here is… oof #also obviously this whole post is dumb and you can get pregnant after 35 and blah blah blah #dan and phil

[untitled-tmnt-blog]

... And the never-ending "shadows vs shorts" debate continues!

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #ron corcillo #twitter #I know it's called X now but I'm not just gonna tag this post as X that feels weird #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #I have no stance on this debate other than I think it's funny #I tend to draw them as though they are shorts #but shadows also makes perfect sense #I mean #they're turtles #humanoid turtles #but still turtles #my post #has this already been posted here before? #I never know when twitter stuff makes its way here

[asavt]

leshy freaking cat

The fact that we all (or almost all) took one look at the yellow cat and went "yeah sure lets go with that" will never not be hilarious to me.

#my art #digital art #fan art #leshycat #cotl leshy #cotl yellow cat #IT HAS ITS OWN TAG OH MY GOD. #Kevin #his name is kevin btw #my favorite cat kevin my son #leshy being the one who gets used to cult life the easiest is also funny #but it actually kinda makes sense maybe idk #something something expectations after Shamura lost their mind and then having a need to prove himself #there's pride left of course #but this little being of chaos.... #I don't think he'd mind much after a while

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat: #how do i be normal #edit in the tags: #hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition'' #because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are. #that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with.... #this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal'' #[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into] #but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be'' #and im like ... of course it was about you. #art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation . #you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you. #there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

[nouverx]

Just wanna put Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) and Luffy (One Piece) in a jar and shake them. Just imaging these two chaotic aro ace in the same room brings me so much joy.

I feel like they would viscerally hate each other if they ever had to meet ahah :'D I drew them reacting to their flag instead! I haven't drawn Luffy in a hot minute damn I missed my boi

Now that I think about it, it's funny how similar yet completely different they are. Luffy's whole deal is about smiling, laughing and make people around him happy, while Alastor's whole deal is also about smiling, but he uses it for control, to hide his true emotions and make people around him uncomfortable/second guessing him all the the time.

Luffy is aroace, but still full of love for everyone, he cares so much and shows so much affection, while Alastor is aroace and mostly touch averse, takes a long time to get attached to people and shows very little affection (or maybe has his own definition of affection idk)

And they both have a weird moral code and hate people in power who uses it to exploit the weak?? Not to the same extend ofc but still, that's an interesting trait they share .

My two favourite aroaces I love them so much 💖

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #one piece #monkey d. luffy #the crossover no one asked for #except for me lmao my two latest brainrots together isnt that beautiful <3 #I'm so glad we're getting more and more aroace representation we get completely different flavors of aroace from one show to the other #like I can see myself in luffy regarding his aroaceness but also in Alastor on some aspects does that make sense?? I love the variety #art request #technically not an art request again but I tag all my ask doodles with that to organize my blog don't mind me #alastor

[wizardemotions]

pinterest showed me some screenshots of posts that gave me the concept for an au where both harry and ron are sorted slytherin & draco is just slightly less rude in the first book. i could go into why i think this makes a lot of sense for ron but i won't. i've affectionately dubbed them the platinum quartet in my head and they will not leave me the fuck alone

#quill to paper #draco malfoy #harry potter #ron weasley #hermione granger #romione #drarry #slytherin harry #slytherin ron #golden trio #platinum quartet #actually i'll go into why it makes sense for ron here in the tags. #imho a major slytherin trait is ambition #and ron *has* ambition he's just never had it actively encouraged and fostered #book fucking one the mirror of erised shows him winning the quidditch cup & being head boy and all #he HAS ambition! and by god does he have something to *prove* #youngest weasley boy who desperately wants to do something different from his family #not get lumped in as 'just another weasley' #he's the anti-sirius in this context tbqh. old pureblood family of gryffindors and he's plastering his room at the burrow w green and silver #in my head draco is also in the train compartment when ron walks in and asks to sit there & harry speaks first so draco shuts up #a little tense but draco also relaxes a little bit. he's ELEVEN he just wants FRIENDS. #ron watches the boys he sat with on the train both get sorted slytherin and has just the biggest burning desire an 11 yr old can have #to get into slytherin instead of gryffindor. to do something different from his other siblings at the gryff table. to Prove Something #the hats like 'ohh. a weasley huh. but so much to prove... there's real ambition #and the potential for cunning... slytherin? alright #good luck! slytherin it is!' #and draco's smug little ass is like 'i suppose there's hope for the weasleys yet if they can turn out a slytherin #and ron is psyched out of his eleven year old gourd bc harry fucking potter is grinning and clapping for him #and also because percy n the twins look SHOCKED AS FUCK as do half the profs #snape is over at the table realizing w complete clarity that he's going to be put thru the ringer as slyth head of house these next 7 yrs