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ahsxual · 3 years

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Purple and Green Desire

Pairing: Ledger!Joker x Female!Reader

Summary: You wanted to make J a surprise by painting your hair half purple, half green, and provoke him to see what his reaction would be. Little did you know what would come for you...

Warnings: Rough and mad J, possessive and jealous J, J scaring the reader, reader with psychotic thoughts, sir kink, dom/sub, vaginal sex, hard spanking, oral sex (male and female), fingering, nipple play, some blood involved, swearing, degradation, a little bit of edging, mentions of anal sex

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 4,2 k

A/N: Sooo this was supposed to be posted on Halloween, but as always I'm late. I had this idea a while ago, and thought: "why not write a smut out of it?". I thought it would be a good idea to join your request and my ideas together, my lovely @mountainjiwish. Thank you so much for your incredible idea!! I wanted to write something like this for so long, but I thought I wouldn't be able to write such a rough J fic... but how do we know we're not good at something if we don’t try it? Anyway, I still hope you all enjoy it <33

In the last few months, your life has changed drastically. You never thought you would be where you were right now, however you couldn't complain about it, not at all. How could you? You received what you had always wanted and desired for the longest time, something you had always idealized, waiting for your darkest kinks turn into reality with someone you trusted... and he, well, he could have his little toy only for himself, something he didn't know how tremendously he craved until he landed his hungry eyes on you.

If it was possible, your relationship would be seen as extremely toxic by others: you didn't have, or at least you never admitted out loud, the true feelings you had for each other. You just made your darkest wishes come true every time you were together, feeding the hunger that was growing inside your hearts and cores, and that only you could make that happen.

He could be compared to the biggest and most dangerous lion in the jungle, and you to a little masochist deer who would always be eager for the lion to come after you, and eat you in the most cruel way possible. But what was "funny" to you, was the fact that the lion would never let his deer escape from him without causing it some deep wounds... however, he would never kill the deer, wanting for it to come back to him so he could catch it and have some fun. That was the game you both enjoyed playing since day one.

Today was october 31st, your favorite day of the year. Why? It's simple: on this day, you felt like you could be yourself, without being judged or being too obvious that you also had psychopathic instincts. Of course you had your own dark thoughts. Of course you also had the cruel desire to rip someone's throat every time they messed with you or with someone you loved. But you didn't have enough courage to cause such bloody chaos, so instead you decided to be with someone who represented your inner self. Unlike you, J does not fear the consequences of his acts, or even feels guilty. But you do, so that's why it's so much funnier to watch the world burn by someone you love. That way you don't have to feel guilty about anything, because you didn't do anything by your own hands, right? You're not guilty for liking to see the blood coming out of people's mouth and eyes, while they scream in agony. You're not guilty for craving so much to watch the world be destroyed by the scalding fire before your sadic eyes, to love someone who would realize your wishes for you. But that didn't matter right now. What mattered is that you wanted to surprise J, to show him once agaim how a good and dedicated submissive you are for him.

You painted your hair half purple, half green, and put it in two ponytails, each one with a different color, while your makeup also had those gorgeous colors. You wanted to look sexy, yet cute and innocent for him, even if you were the bratiest woman he had ever met in his entire life. And believe me... he had met a lot of girls. Yet none of them were as good as you, and none of them would be loyal and stay with him for so long, even when he had been considered a monster before everyone's eyes... but not yours. He always saw you as his little bunny, his little doll, his little loyal masochist... and he surely planned to keep you for himself for a very long, long time. Your outfit was a little different and scandalous too: you dressed yourself in a fit leather dress you had recently bought, with the highest leather boots you had in your wardrobe, while wearing your sexiest black lace thong briefs and the choker with a diamond "J" on it that he gave you in the beginning of your "relationship". This item was utterly sacred. He always made you to wear it: everyday, at any second of the day, so you wouldn't forget to who you belong to. You then thought carefully if you should wear a bra or not, and decided it would be better if you didn't wear any at all, before putting a comfortable leather jacket on.

You checked yourself in the mirror and for what felt like an eternity, you felt stunning. Halloween never failed to make you feel more confident about yourself, neither the expensive clothes J "bought" you or the compliments he gaves after seeing you wearing them. You stared in the mirror a little while, until you realized that you had something that was excessive on your body: the "J" choker. You knew too well that he would be furious if he didn't see you wearing it... but after all, that's what you wanted, to see the ravenous lion being released from its cage. However, you didn't feel satisfied. Not yet. You were also planning something else to make him even more mad: what about, pretending you went to a party without his gift and permission, while using your favorite perfume in your most exuberant outfit, and then not giving him the attention he always craved from you? Deep down, you even feared he would kill you out of anger, because of your malicious and provocative plan... oh, you really didn't know who you were messing with. But thinking about it, what better way to die than to have sex with the person you were so immensely addicted to?

When you finished fixing your hair by making each ponytail look messy, you heard the door of your house being closed so hard that you genuinely believed he had broken it, which meant he was already mad. Perfect. You ran to your room and started to act normal, pretending to be packing your sex toys. But now that he was there, you felt yourself slightly shaking from pure fear and anticipation. You had a slight idea of what was coming, you just didn't know the gravity of it.

Suddenly your room's door was carefully opened, which wasn't a good sign. The calm before the storm. Maybe he felt your perfume from afar, and knowing that you would only use it for very special occasions, and that he wasn't there with you before, it only meant you did use it for something else. He could even be compared to a quiet dangerous dog, because of his keen sense of smell... and because of his unpredictable behavior. You could sense his stare burning into your back, but you acted like you had a durable shield against his fervent fire. You purposely positioned yourself in a way so that he had a good view of what you were doing: packing your sex toys that were forbidden to be used, unless J used them on you. Now, you could feel and smell the hot and suffocating flames of his fire getting way too intense. You then finished packing them under your bed, and stood up to take your jacket off, making sure he noticed you weren't wearing the choker he gave you.

"You don't look very joyful. Rough day?" you answered contemptuously, calmly taking your boots off in the process. From his point of view, you went somewhere else to do who knows what without his permission, and since you were too desesperate and lazy to undress yourself first, you masturbated with your clothes on. According to his perspective, you didn’t give a shit about his rules, like the obedient slut you should be to him.

Saying that his glare towards you was terrifying and caused shivers down your spine, was an absolute understatement. You instantly regreted making all of this up, but it was too late. Now, you would have to deal with the real consequences of your brat decisions. J slowly walked towards you, making you unconsciously step back until you met the rigid wall of your suddenly cold room. He was so close to you, making you feel his hot, yet deep and rhythmic breathing on your face, and without your leather boots, you felt once again intimidated by his much taller figure. He took this opportunity to analyze you better: your messy colored ponytails and makeup, that for a moment almost made him crack a smile because of your choices, your sexy outfit... to the absence of your necklace.

"Something is ah... missing on ya, dont'cha think, doll? Huh?" completely ignoring your question, he calmly, yet dangerously asked, making known the fact that he instantly noticed you weren't wearing his precious and meaningful accessory. His gloved hands slid to your naked neck and grabbed it forcefully, making you unable to respond him, because of the lacking of air in your throat and lungs. Once he realized you would literally pass out if he continued to choke you, he slightly let it go, just enough to make you receive some oxygen to your now extremely frightened brain.

"I don't k-know what you're talking about..." you really weren't one to give up easily. You wanted to see how your little game would end, even though you had just been almost choked to death. His pupils became so much darker once he realized what game you were playing.

"Ya don't... know?" he suddenly started laughing maniacally, the loudest and scariest sound you had ever heard in your entire life. You knew he had already discovered what your intentions were, however he still didn't know if the fact that you went out with someone else and played with yourself, was true. Yet you would keep him thinking about that... What a strong and determined woman you were.

His laugh started to slow down and his not so happy expression returned to his scarred face. "Do I really need to ah... remind ya of the rules dollface, huh?" his voice was deeper and hoarse, and you could tell he was trying to contain his humiliating words towards you to himself... at least for now. He walked away from you to grabbed the box under your bed, keeping an intense eye contact with you, and put it above the bed. You were watching very attentively with each step he made, not having the courage to look away from him. He then grabbed each vibrator you had, and started to break them with his own hands. Since when did he have so much strength??

"J, what the hell?!" you screamed at him and the moment you took a step forward, he nimbly took a knife from his pocket and pointed it in your direction.

"Ata-tada!" he warned you with his fatal object in his left hand while giving you a sharp stare, making you return immediately to your initial position. "Dont'cha wanna make things harder for yourself. This is all your fault." he grabbed a broken piece of your favorite vibrator and threw it caressly to a random corner of your room. Much to your control, your eyes started to water instantly: you wanted to provoke him, not ending up having your dear toys broken. But that's what you get when you get on J's nerves... and this was nothing compared to what he wanted to do to you...

A single tear came out of your eye and you instantly looked way, ashamed for feeling so unnecessarily sad for having your sexual toys destroyed. You closed your eyes, and all you could only hear, was your own sobs and his heavy steps.

"Shh-Shh why are ya crying bunny? Ya knew this was ah... gonna happen the moment you messed with your owner, didn't ya?" you didn't answer to him. You were way too pissed to give him what he wanted, but once again... you made the wrong choice. "ANSWER ME!" you never felt so intimidated by anyone the way you did at that moment. You were now trembling with fear, and even if you didn't want to admit it, you were also trembling by lust, excitement and hunger for him. He suddenly harshly grabbed your cheeks and made you look up at him: your makeup was already ruined because of the mix of emotions that filled your slippery salty tears, and by his rough movements on your face.

"YES!!" you responded the loudest you could, but he didn't seem satisfied.

"Yes, what?!" he asked calmer while tightening his grip on your aching jaw, yet he was calm by far.

"Yes sir!!!" for the first time for what felt like hours, you saw a proud grin form on his scarred cheeks. You unconsciously smiled too, but that didn't last for too long since he caressly shoved you against the bed. If your bed wasn't so soft, you were sure you would have bruises or even broken your face. He then roughly pinned your hands together, and tied them tightly with some handcuffs he found in the box beside you both. He turned you on your back, and instantly placed a knife on your jaw. You didn't dare to move, because if you did... that scene would definitely turn into a bloody mess. He was so concentrated on your body, memorizing every detail of your soft skin into his psychotic mind, and without a warning, he cut your dress in half with his pointy knife, and this time, you didn't dare to complain.

"Hmm, no bra..?" he pretended to look surprised and looked like he didn't care about your decision, but his body language betrayed his mind since his excitement was way more noticeable. "Now tell me... how ah... naughty and filthy can ya be, huh?" he then grabbed your hips with such force that you knew for sure he would leave dark bruises there. You didn't know anymore if it was the fact that you were so distracted in leading your own emotions, or if it was due to you being completely consumed by pure desire, that you didn't prepare yourself from what was coming: you suddenly felt his sharpened knife being softly, yet firmly craved into your chest. You couldn't see it, but you did feel the fatal object drawing a "J" letter on your once soft chest. He wanted to mark you forever, so if a goddamn choker couldn't make that happen... a deep scar definitely will. Your screams were mistaken for loud moans, so he continued to do his work, blood running out of your body into the sheets, that were once white, into a dark, permanent red.

When he turned you around, you felt another hot and painful sensation, but this time on your butt cheek, so painful and hard it was, that you almost fell out of the bed, only to be abruptly grabbed by your ponytails to make you still.

"Where do ya think you're going, huh?" he pushed you to himself by each ponytail. A muffled sound of pleasure and pain came out involuntarily of your mouth, yet you couldn't care less.

"Please..." you pleaded, blinded by the absurd amount of pleasure that was running into your veins for him.

"Please what, huh? Tell me... Tell your sir want you ah... desire from him. And if ya behave like ah... good little slut for him, maybe he will reward ya." you opened your eyes that were previously tightly closed and looked deep into eyes, noticing that his eyes were now completely black, like he was possessed by the devil himself. You could feel his huge and solid bulge leaning against your now reddish ass since he pulled you so close to him, and you knew that everything was finally leading to where you wanted.

"I want more... please sir, I want you to destroy me..." the moment those words came out of your mouth, he totally lost it. Neither him or you could hold yourselves anymore. With your leather dress thrown into a corner, your ass was now exposed. He caressed your butt not so softly with his strong hands, admiring the gorgeous view for a few seconds. Oh, how he loved to see his doll with lace.

Your room was then filled with loud moans, deep groans from him, and even louder sounds of skin being roughly spanked. He knows your limits very well, so he stopped once he noticed you couldn't take it anymore: after all, the pain is beauty for him, but so is pleasure and trust from both sides. Your ass was now covered in shades of dark purple and red, a view that J never got tired of... in fact, it was his favorite.

"The purple really ah... suits ya, doll. So does the green and the red..." he whispered more to himself, getting lost in the beauty of the job you both did: the spanking session he just gave you, and the look you chose for yourself that had everything to do with him, as it proved your submission for him as well. While he was saying that, you were trying to catch your breath and collect yourself from what just happened. Your ass was hurting so bad, and you were sure you wouldn't be able to sit properly for weeks, but the pleasure that came from it... it made it all worth it. You were almost getting your breath back, almost, when you felt your ponytails getting pulled once again. He really liked the idea of the colored ponytails, you proudly thought for yourself.

"Ata-tada, ya weren't going ta sleep on me, now would ya? Oh sweet cheeks, we are just-getting-started..." you shaked your head, and before he could punish you again, you immediately remembered what you must do.

"No sir!! I won't upset you again... I-I promise I will be a good slut for you!" you obediently answered, fearing to be punished again. Your makeup must be already ruined because of your uncontrollable crying. Your cheeks were covered in a black mascara, and purple and green makeup that was very blurred because your previous position, so it was practically inevitable to rub your face against the bed. This was something that always made J's pants twist with randiness: the messier, the better.

After your response, you heard a satisfied groan from his throat: he had already forgotten the fact that he was extremely mad, only for that feeling be replaced and completely consumed by lust. He then approached your neck and sucked it roughly, leaving marks that would last for a very long time because of the force it was made, while grabbing your throat to make you still. It came to your mind the idea of him being a vampire who was immensely thirsty by your blood.

You gently rubbed your ass on his throbbing, hard cock: it hurted really bad, but it was the only movement you could do to caught his attention, since he was restraining almost all of your body movements.

"Someone is feeling really eager, huh? Ha! All it takes is ta teach ya some ah... manners, to get those panties all soaked for me..." after that, he ripped your lace briefs with his own hands, making you flinch, and then put two long gloved fingers in you. He was never a very patient man and he wasn’t going to be now, so he started to finger you as fast as he could, curling his skilled fingers into your g-spot from time to time. It felt like pure bless, and it was impossible for you to contain all of your sweet sounds. But even if you did, you knew you would be in real trouble for containing them: J loved to hear your moans and screams of pleasure and pain for him, so he had forbidden you to hide them from him. When you were about to cum, he turned you around and replaced his experienced fingers by his hot and wet tongue on your clit, sucking it hard.

" Oh God, J!!" you moaned as loud as you could, and if it weren't the cuffs holding you still, you would ride your orgasm while fucking his face. This was the first time he let you cum without edging you first. Looks like he's feeling generous. Yet neither of you would be satisfied with only one orgasm, especially you, and J knew it.

"God has nothing to do with your ah... pleasure, doll. I am the only one who makes ya cum like a fucking squirter whore, do ya hear me?" he grabbed your face hard enough to make it hurt, and then forced you to look at him while he slowly sucked his gloved fingers with your juices on it, right in front of your face, wanting to make a show for you. "Hmm, always so... tasty." he admitted with the sexiest tone you have ever heard from anyone. "But now... I've gotta prepare ya for da real deal." once he said that, he pushed three fingers into your mouth.

You could taste your own cum and his saliva mixed on his fingers, and you would be lying if you said it wasn't your favorite taste. You knew you had little time to adjust to his fingers, trying so hard to control yourself from gagging... and that was what was worrying you, since if you couldn't take his fingers... it would be ten times worse once you sucked his dick. He decided to take his fingers off of your wet mouth, since his cock was starting to get so tight in his pants, to the point of being painful. While he was unbuttoning his pants, you took the chance to breathe properly, yet that didn't last too long.

"Come here." he ordered while he grabbed your legs, and then pushed them out of the bed to make you kneel on the ground, before grabbing your freshly painted purple and green ponytails.

"Now open wide that pretty mouth of yours. Sir is gonna ah... feed his slut until she's full." with a smirk printed on his scarred white and red cheeks, he wasted no time in shoving his erected cock inside your already wet mouth. "Fuck! That mouth of yours never fails to get me all riled up, dollface!" he started laughing maniacally right after while thrusting faster and harder into your mouth. You could barely breathe, especially when he shoved all of his dick down on your throat, only to get it out for a few seconds before shoving it back inside, where it belongs. Your boobs (that were also covered in blood because his previous signature he made especifically for you), upper legs and even the floor were covered in saliva and some of his cum, and you couldn't wait for him to release all of his cum inside your mouth... you couldn't wait to make him proud of you.

You started to feel his movements getting sloppier, his groans and breath getting uncontrollably deeper, and his dick twitching in your throat. You could tell he was close, and the moment you felt your ponytails getting pulled closer to his pubic hair, you knew that was it.

"Fuck!" he loudly cursed before releasing all of his cum inside your mouth and down through your sore throat. His taste felt more salty than before, but you still managed to swallow it. It was too much cum for you to keep in your mouth, so some of it escaped from it into the ground. After looking at you silently, he caught your attention by his demanding tone towards you.

"What are ya waiting for, huh? Clean your mess. Now." his glare was fatal, and his hold on your hair started to become unbearable, so you didn't challenge him any further. You crouched down on the ground and started to lick the rest of his cum that fell out of your tiny mouth, yearning a satisfied groan from him after you were done.

"Good girl..." he praised, before helping you getting up from the rigid floor to kiss you passionately. You melted completely into the kiss, his tongue fighting for dominance and obviously winning, until you felt his sharp, yellow teeth bitting your lower lip, making it bleed. He sucked all of your blood like his life depended on it, and you couldn't help but feel wetter with each second. Seems like J wants to be a vampire for halloween this year.

When he got bored of it, he pushed you onto the bed, and lifted you legs around his neck once he was positioned on top of you. You could tell he was really hard again, until you felt him rubbing only the tip of his cock on your clit. He remained in that position for some time, creating the perfect amount of friction on your clit to make you squirm under him. It seemed strange, however it was something you learned from him that felt so incredibly good. He decided to suck your hard nipples meanwhile, which made you gasp because of the unexpected, yet very welcome act, and moan harder. When you were about to cum, he shoved himself inside your dripping cunt, this time having no mercy on you. His thrusts were fast, hard and pounded you so deeply, that you could swear you were seeing shiny stars all over your room.

"Oh fuck, right there sir, please let me cum!!!" you closed your eyes, only to be slapped in the face as a warning to keep them wide open.

"Ya wanna cum, huh? Do ya think you deserve it?" he asked, staring into your soul to see if you would dare lie to him. "Dirty sluts don't get to cum, and believe me when I say that I'm gonna fucking destroy ya." after that, he put both of his gloved hands around your neck, grabbing it with such force with the porpuse to punish you from your supposed desobedience. You could see the madness itself returning to his eyes, and before you weren't able to talk anymore by lack of air, you decided to expose the truth to him, before it was too late for you.

"I-I didn't go anywhere! I didn't f-fuck anyone and... a-and I didn't go to any p-party!" it was so difficult to talk, but at the same time, in the situation and position you were currently on, it made you cum so hard without even getting time to ask him for permission, yet he didn't care about it since he was now focused on what you said.

"What?" he looked so confused, and his eyes started to return to their original color, getting also softer in the process. He suddenly stopped fucking you, and in that moment you thanked to whoever was up there for letting you cum before he stopped.

"I-I just wanted to make you mad... I wanted this..." you admitted, ashamed for making yourself look silly and desperate in front of him. You couldn't tell if he was still mad and irritated, or relieved. Maybe all of them, because now he had the guarantee that you obeyed him and didn't fuck anyone else.

"Oh, doll... If ya want me to fuck ya this hard, all ya need to do his to ask nicely. But ya like to play games instead, dont'cha? I always knew how kinky you were. Then congratulations, ya got what ya wanted! Ya really pissed me off, but dont'cha think you're gonna get out of this that ah... easily..." he warned you. For some reason, he decided to look at your bedside table, only to discover where your very badly hidden J’s choker had landed. He grabbed the innocent object, that was also the responsible for the best sex of your life, while still being inside of you, and then put it back where it belongs: on your neck. After making sure his gift was well tightened around your neck, he took his dick out of your vagina and lined it up right with your tight ass hole.

Now this was going to be a long night...

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monster-noises · 2 years

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Been Thinking for some time about the relationship the Villagers have to the Four Lords and going just a little bit Insane about it..

It's like.. we dont get a lot of information about that relationship in-game.. we get one line from the Duke when he's introducing the lords, the fact that the lords all have accumulated... piles of bodies/zombies/lycan's, and a few notes/comments that seem to make..some Weird implications about certain Lords in particular and that's.. about it??

We see at least a little bit of how the village treats Miranda, she is a quasi-religious figure head, there are paintings of her performing miracles and posed in generally very like.. ~divine~ ways all over the village, people do Prayer to her, there is obviously some element of Faith involved, even though she still holds a physical presence.

The lords haven't got those kind of details, they have their church portraits but that's about it, and they dont seem to make any special implications except to show their faces around Miranda's..

And I just??!!!! I gotta know! I gotta know how the villagers saw/see these guys like.. are they Also semi-religious figures? or do they have a much more concrete like.. bureaucratic presence (If you read the dev notes on the concept art though its said that Urias and his brother were the community leaders in the village so??? where did they fit in?) in opposition to Mother Miranda, who plays as the mystical figure head?

Or do they exists as like.. Almost Legends? Folktale sorta figures to tell stories to children about, that are only kind of rooted in fact?

If you consider all four of them are largely reclusive it's entirely possible that to the village their actual existence is arguable(except for Alcina who exists in such close proximity, but even then, perhaps her True Appearance and he goals/deeds are a mystery!) like the notes left by the fisherman seem to imply that they have No Clue that this giant fish what be eating people is Lord Moreau, but the notes from the gardener about Donna imply she is (or possibly was) an, at-least marginally, well-known member of the community! And there's absolutely Nothing about Heisenberg having any interaction with the villagers, this is because I imagine he Doesn't, but he clearly interacts with their dead so what gives????

I could go on and on and on about this and the many questions i have and oooooh i will

But

Being honest

This post is mostly about how fucking hilarious i find the idea that people make prayers/offering to Heisenberg to come Fix Their Shit? Or if it's funnier if they physically have to come to the Factory with these requests....

Like someone leaves a small offering of good quality scrap metal in the church by his portrait and hope that whatever is wrong with their truck gets figured out... he's got a camera in there to watch out for it, and he goes late in the night to collect the scrap, and fuck it while he's here he'll fix the truck. Not that he /cares/ or /wants to/ it's just a good opportunity to pilfer even more exrra scrap from a villager.. that's all...

Or a villager coming all the way down to the bridge with some scrap to exchange and just getting straight up shouted at over the loud speaker...

Both Very Funny possibilities that are almost Definitely getting drawn someday.

#monster noises #re8 #this was in my drafts and i'd forgotten!!#so you get this too #it's that 4am confidence baybeeeee #Also as a fun cute bonus for anyone who reads down into my tags;#Lazarus gets himself into a very sticky situation with the villagers #(because he lives in a very village accessible spot and likes to just creepily wander about)#where he One Fucking Time grants a favour to Luzia and comes to fix a terrible injury that befell her husband #and he urged her to keep it quiet as 'he's an artist not a doctor'#and the last thing he needs is villagers crawling all over his studio and garden whenver someone gets a damn papercut #but word fucking gets around that Lazarus Will Grant Boons if you're in need of emergency asisstance #and it never gets that Bad (being in Lazarus's garden is very uncomfortable and nooo one likes it #no matter how injured they may be)#but he does get regularly interuptted by someone who got a leg Destroyed by a lycan or something else annoying #and is basically owed a favour by Most Villagers #that he Will Hold You Too Should He Come Calling #for important context; due to Cadou things Lazarus's blood has special properties related to like.. tissue growth #you'll get the full rundown in his Debut v-v

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marvella15 · 4 years

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Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 7: Shall We Dance

• Something I didn’t consciously realize about this film until reading Hannah Hyam’s book is that Astaire and Rogers don’t dance together until nearly an hour in. That hasn’t happened since Gay Divorcee. What was anyone thinking??

• Shall We Dance suffers from a lot of extra crap that it didn’t need, such as extraneous characters, far too many interruptions in the Astaire and Rogers relationship, and a bunch of weirdness like life-sized dolls, life-like masks, and backbending ballerinas. The film also has a lot of wasted potential, including a great score and songs by George and Ira Gershwin.

The Gershwins were already well acquainted with Astaire and Rogers. The duo had first met when she was starring in the brothers’ show, Girl Crazy, and Astaire was brought in to help with choreography. Rogers was close friends with George and even dated him. Astaire had known the brothers prior, having starred in a few of their shows with his sister, Adele.

• Our characters/actors: Peter “Petrov” Peters (Fred Astaire), Linda Keene (Ginger Rogers), Jeffrey Baird (Edward Everett Horton), Arthur Miller (Jerome Cowan)

• Around the time I was first really into classic Hollywood films, including these ones, my family and I adopted a new dog. I annoyed my parents to no end by suggesting we name him Peter P. Peters. Don’t know why I latched onto that name but I did.

• Even in the massive portrait of Petrov, you can see Astaire has his fingers curled in rather than fully extended.

• Astaire’s ballet attire lets us once again see just how skinny he is.

• Always loved how Peter does a little tap at the rhythmic sound of his name and birthplace: Pete Peters, Philadelphia PA.

• Rogers’ cardigan with all of its baubles is truly awful looking. It will only be out done by a terrible floral dress she wears later.

• I do however like that she shoves her handsy stage partner into a fountain. Why are men constantly the worst?

• “And why must there always be a kiss at the second-act curtain?” is YET ANOTHER example of these films trolling us. Not once up until this point has any act of an Astaire/Rogers outing included a kiss between them.

• Linda’s disinterest in even meeting Petrov is based on the assumption that he’s a “simpering toe dancer.” While that’s incorrect, she’s not wrong that he is indeed another man who has seen a picture of her and wants to tell her he can’t live without her. So she gets partial credit.

• If Peter wasn’t totally smitten before, Linda’s jab, “It’s just a game little American boys play” gets him.

• As a mixed race number, “Slap That Bass” is incredibly unusual for the era. Astaire was a great admirer of African-American dancers and was strongly influenced by Bill Robinson and John W. Bubbles. I love the blend of all of the voices in this song.

• The dance portion of “Slap That Bass” gives Astaire a chance to show off more of his innovative mind and choreography. He dances in time with the sounds of the ship’s engine and compels the camera to follow him across and up the vast set. The dance is also special in that we have behind the scenes footage of Astaire rehearsing, thanks to a home video shot by George Gershwin.

• Peter making Jeffrey believe the boat is rocking may seem a bit unbelievable but having been on a large ship myself, sometimes you don’t realize it’s rocking until you see other passengers weaving or a giant chandelier swaying.

• I usually skip most if not all of Jeffrey and Arthur’s scenes together. They slow down this film soooo much.

• Like in all of their films, songs are sometimes heard in the background before the actual musical number they appear in. But because this film is scored by the Gershwins, there’s an array of shorter pieces of music that are all their own, such as the whimsical score heard while Rogers and then Rogers with Astaire are walking her dog.

• The dog Peter borrows to give himself an excuse to talk to Linda hits his bark cue perfectly and looks extremely happy about it.

• I would love to know what exactly Astaire and Rogers are talking about while walking her dog. Maybe they were given lines that were then not recorded or maybe it’s improv. But it seems very natural.

Rogers did say that Astaire was a wonderful conversationalist and was adept at talking while dancing, something she noted most men couldn’t manage.

• Wow do I love it when Rogers gets to be extra sassy

Peter: “Isn’t it wonderful being here tonight like this? Still on the same boat together.”

Linda: “Oh, I seldom change boats in mid-ocean.”

• “Beginner’s Luck” is such a charming, fast song that Astaire delivers wonderfully. He hardly seems to take a breath.

A jazzed up version of “Beginner’s Luck” is the song Peter tried to dance to in Paris but the record kept getting stuck.

• Something this movie fails at is letting Linda and Peter’s relationship continue to progress before throwing more obstacles in their way. We know from the gossip of the ship’s staff that they have been spending a lot of time together. When we see them, they are having a relaxing evening that’s incredibly domestic: sitting side by side on the deck while she knits and he smokes. Wouldn’t it have been nice to see more of this part of their relationship?

• Why on earth did Peter think sending Jeffrey to fix the false baby rumors was the right decision? Jeffrey can’t handle a single thing.

• Infuriated at the rumors that she’s married to Peter and pregnant with their baby, Linda tries to call him. “Operator! Get me Mr. Petrov. What? Don’t you dare congratulate me!”

• The theme of this movie is supposed to be the blend of dancing and music styles. Peter’s ballet and Linda’s jazz styles are one example, George Gershwin’s varied score, which switches from jazz to waltz to foxtrot to classical, etc, is another. But it’s a fairly weak concept that doesn’t quite land and reportedly, neither Astaire or Ira Gershwin was wild about it.

• I love the new version of “Slap That Bass” that plays as Peter and Jeffrey enter the rooftop club.

• When Rogers sings “They All Laughed,” she is singing to an off-screen Cary Grant, her friend and sometimes date who was visiting the set at the time.

She is also wearing a dress with a horrible pattern. It’s supposed to be floral but it always makes me think of amoebas. Maybe it looked better in color?

• Astaire clearly has fun during the part where Peter hams it up a bit with his ballet next to Linda’s tapping.

• In some ways, “They All Laughed” is reminiscent of “Isn’t it a Lovely Day.” They’re testing each other, trading glancing as they see whether the other can keep up with the increasingly complex steps. Until now, Linda didn’t know Peter could dance this way so her surprise and amusement unfolds slowly as the routine progresses. But he has been grinning since the start because he’s hoping to win her back through this dance.

• This is another duet where it takes a long time before they touch. The first physical contact is just her executing a series of spins with the help of his fingers. And it’s during this part that Rogers finally breaks into a wide smile.

• When he spins her up onto the piano the first time, she happily waits for him to retrieve her. And when he spins her into a seated position and upright again a few times don’t miss how he looks at her with a wry, slightly mischievous smile.

• The Linda doll is so creepy and not lifelike. Who was fooled by this?

Also, Arthur is terrible. Jeffrey is terrible too but he’s an idiot so I’m more willing to let it slide.

• Peter walking out of Linda’s bedroom in the morning in his robe right in front of her fiancé while she is in her negligee is pretty funny.

• Peter and Linda’s nice day out is just further proof that this movie should’ve spent more time on the two of them together rather than breaking them up every few minutes.

• “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” is a fun song, though Astaire gets most of the good words imo. However, Rogers does do an extra affectation to some of her lyrics and that makes them funnier.

At one point when she’s singing, he turns to her and for just a moment his face goes soft in that way it does sometimes when he looks at her.

• Some film historians have labeled this dance as not that great when compared to other Astaire and Rogers numbers. But I’ve always found it very enjoyable and innovative. While Gene Kelly probably takes the gold medal for dancing on skates in It’s Always Fair Weather, Astaire and Rogers did it first, did it well, and deserve some extra credit for a duet on skates rather than a solo.

Rogers also deserves some extra credit since the idea to dance on skates was supposedly hers. And probably deserves even more credit for doing this dance on skates while also in heels.

• For some reason I really enjoy that they perform this number in their hats and street clothes. It’s so informal and feels like something you do on a fun date.

• Throughout this dance, Peter continues to be the playful one, as he’s been in their interactions in the film, and Linda is the more serious one who needs to be coaxed into having fun. Maybe this is why Astaire frequently glances at her and even spends long seconds watching her at different parts as they move into the next series of steps. Rogers is more reserved in her expressions but whenever they are face to face, she appears happiest.

A few times she looks triumphant, leading me to wonder if they or she had finally nailed a section that was giving them or her trouble.

• Can’t say for certain but I swear she almost falls when they do the backwards steps. She just baaaarely snags his hand in time.

They had to film this dance something like 150 times so I imagine there was more than one time where at least one of them did indeed fall.

• The circular dance they do leading up to the end is based on a dance Astaire and his sister made famous in their time on the stage.

• Apparently the grassy bank they tumble onto wasn’t padded so those fake grimaces of pain aren’t that fake. Their exchange after the tumble feels very much like married banter to me:

Peter: “Yes, it was my idea.”

Linda: “Have you any more of them?”

Peter, exaggerating: “No.”

• They’re such a good match:

Linda: “Peter, you’ve got to marry me.”

Peter: “Why, Linda, this is so sudden.”

• Oh 1930s Hays Code humor. The cop who overhears their conversation thinks she’s pregnant and pressuring the father of the baby into marrying her. Hurr hurr hurr.

• Heh:

Linda: “I beg your pardon but what are grounds for divorce in this state?”

Clerk: “Marriage.”

• It will never make sense to me that a dance was not planned in this film for “They Can’t Take That Away From Me.” It’s a truly lovely song. I know Astaire and Rogers will dance to it more than ten years later in The Barkleys of Broadway but it’s just not the same.

It’s also a good reminder in the film that Peter has legitimate feelings for Linda and she does for him but they’re far more conflicted. Though he must sense he’s hooked her in a bit since he becomes very aloof once they return to the hotel in the stupid hope of making her want him more? Idk, men are dumb.

• “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” carries special poignancy because it became a form of consolation to Ira Gershwin after his brother suddenly died two months after this film was released.

• Oh Linda’s face when she walks in to see Peter with the loathsome Lady Tarrington is so sad and crestfallen. Ever thought you and your crush were finally on the same page only to find them canoodling with someone else?

Although, she could’ve knocked first instead of just walking straight into his room…

• The ballet portion of the finale is weird and unappealing in every way. Harriet Hoctor was known for the backbend dance she does in this film. Maybe it was something spectacular in 1937?? but it doesn’t hold up.

One thing I’ll say about Astaire’s duet with Hoctor, it’s a great chance to see him in a romantic duet with someone other than Rogers and notice how different he acts. No secret smile, no lingering looks, no whispered words, no soft expressions.

• “Shall We Dance” is another upbeat song that deserves more than being featured in the remaining few minutes of the film. Their dance is far too short but wonderful all the same. Her delight when he finds her always makes me smile. She also executes some impressive full length lunges that I couldn’t do at this moment much less in a dress and heels in the middle of a dance number.

For a few seconds, his fingers press into the exposed dip of her spine in yet another example of Victorian hotness.

• And so we finish film number 7. Shall We Dance underperformed at the box office and wasn’t a critical darling. Everyone, the actors included, started to feel the magic was coming to an end. Coming up next is a film I pretty much never rewatch: Carefree.

#fred astaire #ginger rogers #shall we dance #classic hollywood #old hollywood #fred and ginger #astaire and rogers rewatch #all astaire/rogers gifs without credit are mine

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turtle-paced · 5 years

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GoT Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

This post is also on my wordpress.

Well, this is it. The final push. The worst season of Game of Thrones.

Let’s get started.

8.01 – Winterfell

In one respect, this series has defeated me. No counting. I just want this done. God knows the problems got worse than nudity.

(0:09) It has to be said, the new opening credits are one of the best things about this season. Possibly the best thing about the season. However, we may all have been tipped off by how this was going to go in that we never see ice advance on King’s Landing, and the end of the credits focuses on the Iron Throne.

(2:26) So we start the season with a pretty good idea – a direct callback to the opening of season one when Robert Baratheon arrived at Winterfell, and watching this procession of relevant characters through Arya’s eyes again. I’m not entirely sold on the music cue, however, which is out and out the Baratheon leitmotif.

(3:08) Likewise, this landscape shot is also a good idea. Does some good showing. One, the snowy landscape. These are our conditions for the duration. Two, we see the amount of assistance Dany’s providing, as well as the discipline of the Unsullied.

(3:41) This is the first time Arya’s seen Jon in years and it’s a damn good thing the directors decided to let her show an emotion for it. Everyone suffers from the directors’ persistent idea that power = stoicism.

(4:17) Showing Arya’s got a reaction to Sandor and Gendry’s arrival in Winterfell gives us more than “these people are here now”. Which is why characters should be allowed to emote.

(4:32) First line of dialogue in s8 is a eunuch joke! Not even exposition. Eunuch joke. Like we’ve never heard one of them before.

(4:40) It’s not any funnier for Varys calling Tyrion out on this only to get another eunuch joke in reply.

(4:47) The juxtaposition of Missandei and Gray Worm here shows us another unpleasant thing that’s going to run throughout the season: the racism. This racism, here shown in the North being hostile to people of colour, contextualises the entire concept of Northern independence. This sort of juxtaposition undermines the argument that Northern independence is all about not being ruled from King’s Landing, and brings in a nasty undertone that the Northerners don’t want to be ruled by anyone who – gasp – includes people of colour in their cause. While I think it’s valid to depict the North as pretty well xenophobic, xenophobia and racism are not exactly appealing character traits.

Frankly, I don’t think the writers added it up when plotting out the ending. The North don’t look like they’ve been put upon by bad and unjust administration, they look like racist fuckheads complaining about rescues they don’t like. And yes, this impacts how Dany comes across – she’s the one with people of colour in her advisory team, and she never even mentions removing them to help the Northerners feel at ease. It’s hard not to see the implicit position as being “the North should get over this point.”

(5:12) “I warned you. Northerners don’t much trust outsiders.” In hindsight, this looks to me as the first set up for the idea that ‘Dany wants everyone to cheer her and is very sad then very insane when she does not receive the love to which she feels she’s entitled.’ See above re: complaining about rescues they don’t like. Is Dany so out of line for expecting a little gratitude?

(6:13) Speaking of no emotion. Oh boy. Poor Bran. This is the first time he’s seen his brother for years, and he gets to show mild curiosity. This is the character whose rule we’re supposed to leave off on, feeling good about the future of Westeros. But if he doesn’t care, why should we?

(7:35) Bran drops the bombshell that they’ll be dealing with a zombie dragon, that the Wall has fallen, and the dead are marching south. So there’s our context. Apocalyptic, imminent trouble. Everyone enjoy your episode of people not liking Daenerys against a backdrop of people preparing for apocalyptic, imminent trouble. I think these things probably should have been reversed.

(8:34) More preparing for a final showdown at Winterfell. Again, something else we should have take as a poor sign for the season’s structural integrity, as there was clearly no way they could drag out the build-up for four episodes.

(9:05) “It’s not important.” Ah yes, a great recommendation for this character’s political skills. Let’s just keep that in mind for the people who immediately think ‘oh yes Jon would be way better than Dany as ruler’.

(9:26) “When I left Winterfell I told you we need allies or we will die.” There is that. This is one thing we can get behind show!Jon for seeing better than the rest of the Northern cast. Jon will be proved correct on this count.

Though again, really, there is neither explanation nor excuse for the lack of discussion about a political marriage between Jon and Daenerys as a means of bringing the North into her realm in a position of greater strength and dignity. That’s just a gaping plothole, left unaddressed because otherwise the plot doesn’t work.

The plot didn’t even work anyway.

(9:32) Sansa stink-eye is most obvious here. Barely concealed hostillity to the people here to save you really is a good idea, isn’t it? Great politics.

(9:57) Tyrion gets up here to make a speech. While not being able to keep your mouth shut is endemic to the Lannister family as a whole and a valid character flaw, it’s not come out very intentionally in the last few seasons. Poor Tyrion has been pretty consistently inept from s6 onwards, and it doesn’t change here. Reading the room’s hostility to Jon’s bending the knee, he doesn’t let Jon and Dany speak for themselves, but stands up to speak. Him, a Lannister, i.e. a member of the family that were a huge part of why the North rebelled in the first place. An optics misread as bad as “It’s not important.”

(10:15) Possibly also the wrong way to bring up the fact that the Lannisters are expected.

(10:34) Back to the primary way the writers have to show that Sansa is smart. She’s the only one thinking about logistics. Which is a thing people need to think about – in a series that gives half a damn about this sort of thing.

However, Sansa is also bringing this up as part of the dialogue about whether Daenerys should be here, in the North, helping defend it. She is bringing this up in public (rather than taking strips off Jon in private for not thinking the supply chain through). It is clear from her tone and word choice that she is hostile to Daenerys’ forces being there. This is an open political statement as much as it is a logistical question. And they still have to fight off the ice zombies. This character is allowed to have political preferences, it’s better if she has political preferences, but she’s also supposed to be smart! And one of the things she was supposed to have learned in the first half the series was how to play nice in public and pick her moments!

On top of this, continuing to undermine the depiction of Sansa as intelligent, the logistical matters do not impact the story one little bit. Sansa’s objections are lip service to the idea that the army needs to be supplied.

(10:42) Sansa got enough supplies for Winterfell, but didn’t account for additional allies…when she knew her brother was heading out to get allies. Apparently didn’t even think to send over a raven asking whether Dany was getting the Unsullied to pack a bag lunch.

This is not entirely on Sansa. These are deeper communications problems which, to be fair, have been extremely well established. Whether it’s Jon and the army of the Vale, or Arya and the question of a coup, these problems just seem to feature Sansa disproportionately.

(11:04) Another establishing shot that, if linked to something more concretely, would have been an excellent idea – though having seen that Dany’s come with literal wagonloads of dragonglass, we’re also supposed to believe she brought no food?

(12:06) Sansa’s hostility to Daenerys is one of her overwhelming character traits in this episode. Her concern for the supply situation is expressed in hostility to Daenerys. The context for her confrontation with Tyrion is expressed in hostility to Daenerys. Sansa’s mistrust is not contextualised by any sort of historical reference to Rhaegar and Lyanna, nor Aerys’ murder of Rickard and Brandon, as you might expect if that was the actual motivation of the animus. On the contrary, we’ve got dialogue telling us that the mistrust is cultural and respect must be earned, and a chunk of showing us that Northerners are racist, establishing that this is Northern isolationism at work.

Whereas our establishing moment for Dany this episode was meant to show us how eager she was to make a good impression and to be on good terms with the Northerners.

(12:17) The ‘fixing’ of book!Sansa continues, as show!Sansa says that Joffrey’s wedding had its moments. One of the many, many ways the show is lesser than the books is because the books let characters actually differ. Everyone in this series has the exact same emotional reaction to revenge.

(13:09) Sansa gets to some of the wonky plotting behind season seven. Show!Cersei is not trustworthy! There’s no basis for a peace there. Tyrion, of all people, should have known this. Yet he bought it hook, line and sinker. He had to, because otherwise the plot the writers wanted didn’t work. And yet, Sansa calling it out doesn’t make the issue go away. It doesn’t reconcile anything. It just highlights that massive gap between how people talk about Tyrion, and what Tyrion’s actually shown to have achieved. And the plot hole.

(13:34) Here, have a shot of Bran sitting in the courtyard, watching people.

(14:02) A reference to Jon’s resurrection! Which…actually didn’t matter! So basically we’re bringing this up just to bring it up!

(14:10) Damn it’s so much better to see Arya and Jon both emoting!

(15:01) Similarly, as they compare their swords, it’s a nice little moment where we can see these two starting to negotiate a more adult relationship based on common interests and shared knowledge.

(15:17) “She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met.” Ow. That hurt. Sansa’s got the same problem as Tyrion, in many ways. We’re told she’s smart and shown that…actually, no, not really. To be fair, nobody in this show is smart anymore, but there are only a few characters where the other characters outright say that they’re smart. The writing’s got to back that up, and it doesn’t.

(15:26) Toot toot, all aboard the Daenerys hate train. Arya hasn’t even interacted with Dany, and yet Arya’s framing her backing up of Sansa and Sansa’s overt hostility to Daenerys as “defending our family.” Again without reference to Aerys or Rhaegar, and with the episode showing lots of Northerners glaring at all the people who came with Daenerys to fight the White Walkers.

How on earth did the writers think this would scan? One party’s shown up with her armies and her dragons ready to put herself and her ambitions on the line for the other, and the party getting its fat hauled out of the fire is going ‘ugh, fine, we’ll put up with you if we have to’. Dany’s not just going “I am Targaryen, bow to me,” here. This is a bit of a change from her father. She demonstrates that just by showing up.

(15:41) Capped off with a seriously nasty exchange. “I’m [Sansa’s] family too.” “Don’t forget that.” Just – gross. What the fuck. Ups the framing as Jon’s love for Daenerys as something inherently anti-Stark. It’s so mean-spirited. Isntead of “you look happy, Jon” or “do you love her, Jon?” it’s “remember we come first, Jon.”

(16:33) Here we see the Golden Company. Not that they’re going to be playing a part in events. They’re just there to make up the numbers. Literally.

(16:38) Scene with Euron and Yara starts here. We establish that Yara is still alive.

(16:56) A second eunuch joke! Every bit as charming as the first.

(17:36) If Euron’s side loses, he’ll sail somewhere else. New information! Not in the realms of mind-bendingly plot twistingly important information, but at least it tells us a bit about Euron’s character.

(18:00) And end scene with Euron and Yara. Nothing was accomplished there that could not have been accomplished with an establishing shot of Yara tied up on one of Euron’s ships. The writers continue to use their screentime well.

(18:40) The number of troops Cersei hired, the number of horses they came with, and the lack of elephants would mean more if the show paid attention to detail. And, when Dany has dragons, it’s this sort of detail that might actually help build tension and give uncertainty as to the outcome in a conflict between the two. As things stand, this scene could just be “did you bring soldiers?” “Yes, many soldiers!” for exactly the same plot effect.

We’re long past the days where the show discussed the drawbacks of armour, and past the days where Robert analysed the strengths of the Dothraki in the field. We occasionally still get some great showing of the Dothraki, and for all it totally didn’t belong in the setting and required significant dumbassery on the protagonists’ part, the shield wall Ramsay used in the Battle of the Bastards got the effectiveness of the tactic across. This is just…making up the numbers.

(19:03) You know, one of the most devastating scenes in Cersei’s AFFC plot is where she has sex with Osney Kettleblack, not because she wants to (on the contrary, he reminds her of Robert), but because she feels it’s the only way she can keep him as a political tool. It’s tawdry and risky and emphasises how Cersei’s political method of operating actually reduces her agency.

This scene has some of that feeling to it, but without the book-long context examining what she can and can’t do, and how Cersei’s character and deep internalised misogyny affect her capacity to govern. Here, this scene of Euron pressuring Cersei into sex was preceded by a scene showing his feelings on the situation – a feeling remarkably reminiscent of Robert’s “making the eight” back in season one – rather than something like what we got in AFFC, which is about Cersei’sattitude to this sex she doesn’t want. It doesn’t provoke as much thought, and leaves me at least with just a thoroughgoing feeling of ick.

If there is any saving grace here, it’s Lena Headey, who actually has some acting to do.

(20:50) Oh joy, it’s Bronn. Who’s here for the fanservice. More than one sort of fanservice.

(21:14) Not keen on this, either. Here these characters mention how Ed Sheeran’s cameo character came back with his face burned off. It’s like a more throwaway version of how the Sand Snakes died gruesome deaths last season – this character irritated you? Enjoy their horrible demise! We meant to do it!

(22:45) Now we get down to the meat of the scene. Cersei sends Bronn to assassinate Jaime and Tyrion. Now that we’ve seen the season, we know that this is absolutely pointless. Bronn does not assassinate Jaime or Tyrion. He doesn’t affect their behaviour in the slightest. Tyrion offers Bronn a good bribe, Bronn accepts despite having been screwed over by the Lannisters before, and everyone goes on their merry way. This character has nothing to do. He does not illustrate any aspect of the world this story takes place in. He does not undergo any sort of internal journey. He has no reason to be in this story. He’s just here for the fanservice.

(24:32) One thing I do like about the scripting of the scene, combined with Lena Headey’s acting, is that it is crystal clear that Cersei did not enjoy the sex. Euron is obviously fishing for compliments and outright asking for favourable comparisons to Cersei’s previous lovers, and Cersei phrases things so that Euron can read in favourable comparisons if he likes – but she doesn’t have to say it.

If only this was linked to some sort of ongoing thread about how a female political figure’s use of sex can be counterproductive politically and extremely emotionally damaging.

(24:48) “I’m going to put a prince in your belly.” It’s a double whammy for “the show has no sense of timeline.” One, please don’t draw attention to the fact that Cersei discovered she was pregnant who knows how long ago, and is somehow not showing. Two, Cersei should be 42 or 43! No, it’s not impossible that she’d still be able to have a child, but it’s said so freaking casually, like a woman of 42 or 43 in this medieval-like setting with pretty rudimentary medical care having a baby is no big deal. It’s not treated as unlikely, much less like a potentially serious risk to Cersei’s health and wellbeing. Not to mention the fact that Cersei had three children, and all three are dead – what’s her emotional reaction to a comment like that? That seems like it might strike a nerve, if the showrunners were thinking carefully about what Cersei experienced over the course of the series.

(25:07) Shot of Euron’s ship starts here.

(26:21) And the Greyjoy siblings are free and clear within ninety seconds. At least the writers didn’t waste much of our time, though on the whole this subplot has involved a lot of kicking Theon around the plot like a hackey sack, and a lot of putting Yara in storyline time out.

(27:02) Theon’s kicked over to a new plot once more, for old time’s sake.

(27:42) Another establishing shot of activity around Winterfell I like a lot.

(28:02) In the same vein of the writers forgetting that Cersei is expecting a fourth child late in life, having seen three children make it past the infant mortality stage only to die violently, the writers continue to forget that Tyrion gave the order that resulted in the death of Davos’ only son. We know Davos knows this, but giving Davos an emotional reaction would be too much like work. Plus it might impair the quipping.

(28:29) “You want their loyalty? You have to earn it.” We’re back to the characterisation of the Northerners as loyal, now that it’s convenient. And as we’ll see later, no, Dany cannot earn the loyalty of the Northerners no matter what she does.

(28:46) Finally! Someone brings it up! Dany isn’t spoken for, Jon isn’t spoken for, they can actually stand each other and work together, the match would take the edge off that ‘bend the knee’ thing and turn it into something closer to ‘partnership’, if they have children there’s the benefits of a ruler whose father was from the North – the advantages to Dany’s cause and Jon’s current political position are pretty obvious in this feudal society where marriage is an important tool in creating and maintaining political relationships!

(29:06) aaaaaaand it’s brushed off immediately because apparently Jon and Dany don’t want to listen to lonely old men? What? That is a bad reason for not approaching them and saying ‘hey guys, we’ve had this idea, we think it’s a good one.’

Not that anything’s stopping Jon and Dany themselves from thinking of it.

(29:28) Or is the real reason that Varys thinks that “nothing lasts”? That’s also a rubbish reason. His cyncism is poison, here, because it’s stopping him from making a move to strengthen Dany’s political standing. But never mind that, let’s just take that as a (thus far unfounded) indication that this is going to be a tragic romance.

(30:01) Dany points out that Sansa’s lack of respect is a genuine political issue.

(30:17) The fact that the dragons ate eighteen goats and eleven sheep, and Dany considers that to be barely eating does get across the fact that the dragons consume a lot in the way of resources. Unfortunately, lack of resources is never going to become a material issue.

(30:32) I like that we see the dragons have melted the snow cover.

(30:58) This is…not the best green screen work. Try to ignore it.

(31:02) “Go on.” Dany invites Jon up on one of her dragons. Just like that. This entire sequence is so anti-climactic. There’s no joy in Dany finding new family here, no thrill as Jon explores a new identity of his own. This is not any sort of culmination. This is a man riding on a dragon because that is a cool thing, without much thought as to why in-story dragons and dragonriders are special. It’s got all the narrative weight of Dany offering Jon a ride in her Ferrari – special, yes, but not in any way transcendent or emotionally significant.

(31:17) Especially as Jon’s hesitance to hop aboard is played as a joke.

(31:53) What this scene does have that I was asking for all last season was Jon and Daenerys enjoying each other’s company. They’re smiling, there’s some banter.

(33:54) “We could stay a thousand years.” This call-back to Jon’s romance with Ygritte would be a lot more meaningful if Jon didn’t kill Dany at the end of the season. Oh no, how tragic, how star crossed, their romance ended with Jon murdering her.

(34:41) Simiarly, the significant looks between Drogon and Jon just make me queasy after the finale. I have not rewatched earlier seasons after the finale. There was a time not all that long ago when I loved Game of Thrones, especially those earlier seasons. But this is the last time I’m going to be watching this show. And Lindsay Ellis was absolutely right that knowledge of a story’s ending shouldn’t ruin the experience of the story when you come back to it.

(35:07) Again, decent showing of preparations for the fight.

(35:17) “You know who makes weapons for the wildlings? Cripples and cocksuckers. Which one are you?” What a burn on Gendry. The Hound is likeable because he’s sassy, and he’s sassy because his jokes involve ableism and homophobia.

There is a difference between writing ableist and homophobic characters as part of an ableist and homophobic setting, and writing ableist and homophobic jokes as a reason we should feel good about characters.

(36:04) Man, Arya suffers almost as much as Bran and earlier-season Dany for being instructed to be emotionless. Think about it. If we were seeing this without the context of season two and three, would we be shipping it? Or would we be staring at our screens in befuddlement at the lack of chemistry? On Maisie Williams’ part, which has nothing to do with her acting ability (because as we have ample evidence in this show, she can act) and everything to do with the horrible, horrible idea percolating through this show that for the characters to show that they have toughened up and become strong people, they must be stoic.

(36:33) There we go! Arya cracks a smile, and instantly the interactions between these characters actually feel more natural.

(37:35) Now we’re back to showing the Northerners as disloyal.

(37:50) Here’s the setting for Jon and Sansa to actually have it out. In private. Where she can speak freely, as she does, about not cluing her in. Note, however, that this is the third instance this episode where Sansa’s going ‘ugh, Daenerys, I don’t like her’ either implicitly or explicitly.

Not helped in the least by the extra-textual comments that Sansa’s jealous of how pretty Dany is.

(38:15) But when it comes right down to it, Jon is right – everyone here needs Dany, her armies and her dragons both, and securing her assistance was not an optional perk. Sansa’s right that Jon went about it in a suboptimal way, both because show!Jon is written not that bright and because plot contrivance, but she’s real short on viable options to defeat the White Walkers.

(38:48) I have faith in you, Sansa says…then turns around and suggests that Jon only likes Dany because she’s pretty. Show!Sansa has not been treated well by the script at any point. In earlier seasons she was considerably less savvy than her book counterpart, and now she’s become ruthless and manipulative and often plain mean. (We were also supposed to believe she was undermining Jon in season seven, but that plot didn’t actually show that.)

(38:59) “Did you bend the knee to save the North, or because you love her?” And cut. I’ll get back to this issue next episode, because it’s a lot more prominent next episode with much more significant effects on the storytelling, but yeah, get used to the show posing questions to its characters and not bothering to answer them.

(39:37) Ah, a reminder of last season’s greyscale subplot. Criticise the maesters for not listening to pleas for help from the north, sure, but regarding greyscale…yeah, damn those maesters for forbidding a dangerous medical procedure that might save one patient, but only at great risk to the doctor (and any assistants, presumably) and thereby continue the spread of the disease. Those cowards.

(40:15) The Valyrian steel sword that’s been in Sam’s family for generations would have been his anyway, eventually. I see, I see. The writers kinda forgot about the Night’s Watch and their vows. Also, gross, I do hate this anti-Sam who’s so proud of having taken Heartsbane from his father.

(40:39) Bailed out by John Bradley’s acting. Bradley’s been great when it comes to depicting Sam’s mixed feelings about his abusive father. Get some lights in this scene so we can see John Bradley’s acting better!

(41:57) More wonderful shots of Bran waiting in the courtyard. Not showing any sort of emotion though.

(42:19) “It’s time to tell Jon the truth,” Bran says. No emotion there, either. Bran’s got nothing at the prospect of revealing one of the most explosive political secrets in Westerosi history, nothing at upending his brother’s sense of identity, and nothing over the complete reevaluation of Ned Stark that this information calls for. Nothing.

And again, we know this isn’t a problem with Isaac Hempstead-Wright’s acting, because of evidence provided to us earlier in the series.

(42:26) “I’m not his brother,” Bran says, completely without emotion. What is wrong with this direction? What is wrong with the writing for this character?

(42:45) I nevertheless like that the Starks head down to the crypts to pay their respects on a regular basis. That does show their love for Ned. What I wouldn’t have given to see the Stark siblings discussing Robb or Catelyn.

(43:32) More good writing, which I will take where I can get in season eight – Jon notices immediately that Sam’s upset and asks about Sam’s girlfriend and their son. Not only does this show that Jon knows the things that might be upsetting Sam, it lets the writers just briefly clue us in that Gilly and baby Sam are present and okay, just offscreen.

(43:55) Back to bad writing. Sam is understandably preoccupied with the fact that Dany exected his father and brother. What I don’t get is why Sam treats Dany’s failure to tell Jon as significant. Dany apparently has no idea that Jon and Sam are friends. From the way she greeted Sam in that previous scene, it looks like she only knows of Sam through Jorah. If Dany concealed her actions from Jon out of shame, that’s contradicted by the fact she told Sam the truth. (Nor is it consistent with various other actions she’s taken.) If Dany just didn’t give a thorough account of her actions on the field to Jon, and the Tarlys should have been included as significant casualties, that failing is shared by a whole bunch of people who could have told Jon, and isn’t any sort of personal insult.

(44:29) It’s time! The R+L=J reveal we’ve been waiting for! It’s been a rocky journey, between the lack of early foreshadowing, the really obvious foreshadowing later, that misstep where people thought E+L=J, Lannister style, and HBO had to correct people, and most recently the very obvious setup for Sam to tell Jon this news in the worst way possible, for the worst reasons possible (not a bad idea, just shakier execution). But who cares, we’re here. This is going to have some impact.

(45:15) Okay, well, impact kind of blunted by the fact I can’t actually see much in this scene. Some lights, please?

(45:46) Finally! Someone reacts to what this meant! Yes, this is some drama, this is going to take some time and some fraught conversations to work through.

(46:24) And straight away we focus on what this means for the current fights over the Iron Throne. Blast. Jon bypasses denial, anger, bargaining and depression and gets straight to acceptance and dealing with the consequences of the reveal. There’s no “that can’t be true,” there’s no “why did you tell me this.” Luke Skywalker had the fucking Force confirming the parentage reveal and even then he didn’t accept it as easily as Jon does now.

(46:35) “You gave up your crown to save your people. Would she do the same?” Except that’s not the question that the reveal of Jon’s parentage poses. Jon gave up his crown in trade for an alliance against a pressing military threat. What would Dany be saving people from, in abdicating in favour of Jon? Someone’s got to actually start a civil war over this for her to save people from that threat.

(46:42) In case you can’t see the scene, it involves Tormund and Beric investigating a castle that’s clearly been attacked.

(48:41) Just shy of two minutes before something was said, and even then it was screaming. That was a long time to squint at people walking through a scene so dark it’s hard to tell what they were reacting to. I need something to either listen to or watch, here.

(48:43) And Beric lights the scene as he and Tormund ambush some Night’s Watch refugees led by Dolorous Edd.

(49:30) So that’s Lord Umber dead. Which means presumably that we’re in Last Hearth right now. Establishing that Tormund, Beric and Edd will be coming back to Winterfell, blah blah, not sure that was worth two minutes of screentime when they could have just shown up and said “we passed Last Hearth and everyone was dead,” given the other plot points we could spend screentime on.

(49:49) It’s a good jump scare though.

(50:40) A mysterious hooded figure rides into Winterfell amongst a crowd of people also riding into Winterfell.

(51:09!) It’s Jaime! He looks around Winterfell’s courtyard.

(51:26) And spots Bran watching him. End episode on the held gaze. While Bran sitting in the courtyard waiting for Jaime is actually really funny, I do think this pretty much worked, setting up the idea that Jaime’s going to have to confront the attempted child murder from episode 1. It’s also a reminder of the conflict that’s involved with working with the Lannisters on that more personal level.

Next time – possibly the season’s best episode, and boy is that depressing.

#anti got #fine toothed comb edition #season eight

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folerdetdufoler · 5 years

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saturday morning was cloudy. the whole day was cloudy, but to start, i woke up to a sunrise that didn’t exist. so i ate breakfast and went back to sleep (if i had to define what a vacation was, it would have to include that activity: going back to sleep). then i went to meet nadège, jenn, and haidee at their flat.

i’ve always stayed in a hotel when i’ve visited, specifically the hotel. part of it is because i know how the hotel works, and i heavily weight the value of the familiar. it also was part of the rewards program with sas. it isn’t anymore, and i think they’re going to be doing construction next year, so i’m starting to consider different options for stays for my next trip. i’ll probably stick to a hotel because i heavily weight the existence of room service too, but now it doesn’t have to be the radisson blu. i’ve ridden that elevator enough times.

but uh, the point of this consideration is because they were staying in a really nice flat, which was like an extended stay suite but through airbnb. i was super anxious about using airbnb last summer because it was someone’s home, but this flat was not that, which was appealing to me. i would have to pack much less if i were to go the walk-up route though. um, so i met them there and we walked to get kabobs. jenn had to catch a flight that afternoon but she hadn’t gotten her kabob fix yet, so it was a necessary spot. we met jenni’s group there and then walked down to the river for a moment to eat and chat. nadège and i kept walking along the river since we weren’t eating, and we had a chance to talk through some of the stuff that was bothering me from the day before.

it was really helpful to have that chance, both to let me express myself as well as hear her perspective. most of the time, even though i’m constantly keeping up with people on my dashboard, i’m still very much in my own head about it all. i’m not using a soundboard, just letting my own opinion boil up until it causes problems, spilling negativity into other people’s lives. this has been happening more often, probably because i’m talking to fewer and fewer people as the fandom shrinks and i get more stubborn, so i really appreciated this chance to both be very much in the fandom (in oslo, with human beings) as well as take a step back from it. i still need to work on how i balance my sense of self that i get from the internet with how i express myself in person, and it seems like that just means i need to take a walk and talk to someone. like, every day.

anyway, that’s what we did, going down to the dick swan and back, visiting the barely-canon tree and syng. when we got back to the girls we figured out where we were going next, and we broke up for the afternoon.

a couple of days ago jasmine and silvia had mentioned the nrk studio tour as a thing to do, and i impulse bought (is there any other way?) a ticket for saturday. nadège and haidee were interested in going, so we decided to press our luck and head over to the office to see if we could squeeze two more people onto the tour (it was listed as sold out for saturday when they checked). taru gave us helpful tips for getting to the office but between my struggle with google maps and the front door, we were still too late. the guide was nice enough to come to the front and answer some questions though, so we just went back to the website and bought tickets for sunday instead.

by then the clouds were releasing a week’s worth of weather, and we were all the way out in marienlyst with a couple of hours to kill. so we went through our lists of things we wanted to see, if there were any sites left that hadn’t been toured even though we’ve all been to oslo a few times at this point. and there were! we were actually kind of close to the university campus where parts of “all stories are echoes” are set, so nadège wanted to find an important statue from the fic. she and haidee had read it, and while we walked to campus they did a recap for me, so i would understand the significance of the statue.

at that point it was raining heavily and we were lost but i didn’t really mind it because we were just walking and talking. there was a general goal that we were trying to achieve, but it felt very relaxed, and it was fun listening to all of the things that really excited them about the stories they read. after all this time i don’t think i ever did that, like really find out what attracted them to this fandom, so it was a fun and enlightening conversation. it also passed the time well, as we were walking through the campus and then trying to find a bus back to sentrum.

oh wait, not sentrum. next we looked up kjærlighetskarusellen, because that post about it from the header had recently circulated, and it was another canon detail that sort of defined these trips that we take. we come to oslo because we are fans of a show that is set here, and we love it so much that we seek out every little detail in appreciation. that love has grown to encompass the whole city, so we were looking for this show detail as well as monument to the city’s history and its relationship with homosexuality. we lingered outside of it for a bit, because there was a man actually using it as a urinal, and then we snapped our photos once the coast was clear. now i am no stranger to being creepy but that was probably a top five moment for me, taking a picture of a public urinal. i loudly talked about how it was a cultural heritage site as if that would convince random people passing by that i was truly interested in the city’s sanitation efforts instead of, like, men peeing. for the record i’m not particularly interested in either.

then we went back to the flat for a bathroom break, and on to eat waffles. oh boy! i was excited because i had never had one before. i was still shy in terms of trying one, and chose the nugatti topping instead of the jam & brown cheese classic (pictured is haidee’s waffle). mine was super sweet and...gummy? like the hazelnut paste and the soft waffle was just cement in my mouth, and i got a work out just trying to clean off my teeth with my tongue. but it was delicious. i’d probably eat one every day if i had daily access to haralds.

after our waffle we went to meet jasmine and silvia. we shared a pizza for a late lunch/early dinner, and then went back to the hotel so i could change out of my wet clothes. we recapped each other’s dramas and activities from earlier in the day, and talked about fandom and the internet and how people change, if they do. at this point we’ve known each other for at least a year, if not longer, and it’s interesting to see how we, and the rest of the fandom, have evolved as the show has faded into the distance.

some of the stuff we talked about got intense, or we got wrapped up in drama (what else is new), and we had to take a break by watching the bloopers. that was an instant mood lift, and fun to do with people in the same room. everything was a little bit funnier or cuter or sillier when i could hear everyone else laughing at the show too. someday i’d love to rent out a cinema theatre and project season three for a marathon viewing (with bathroom breaks) for a group of fans. maybe for a seven-year anniversary, when you could time it so it would play on a friday evening, and at exactly 21:21 in real time you’d watch isak walk across the courtyard at school to save the man of his dreams.

but back to saturday. it wasn’t raining, but we took the metro to the park next (baby’s first metro trip!). we were going to meet jenni, taru, and kati, and figure out a good place for jasmine and silvia to hang out outside to listen to karpe. we said our goodbyes at the gate and shifted to the other friend group. i think we were kind of early but there was already a decent crowd going in, and going right for the main stage. i don’t think we bothered with food or drink this time around, mostly because we’d just eaten and it was starting to drizzle, which meant everything would get wet anyway.

jenn mentioned a few times that it was a shame there wasn’t any festival merch to purchase while we were walking around, because we kept seeing all of the volunteers with their t-shirts and bags from previous years. it felt like a missed opportunity. i wondered if it was on purpose, to give more weight to the merch that the volunteers got, as a draw for them to sign up and return to work. limited merch would make that experience more special. but i was wrong, because after jenn had left we finally found out that there was a merch tent with apparel for sale; we just hadn’t found it. so before we joined the crowd for karpe we went up the hill and bought tote bags and socks. i’ll deliver jenn’s tote to her on friday, at the sigrid show. i’m mostly mentioning that here so i don’t forget. i was so excited to find socks because i’m getting used to wearing more funky options (mostly due to haidee’s lovely gifts!) but also because they were um, featured on the festival issue of natt & dag.

we moved closer to the stage, but it was actually the farthest we’d been from it the whole week, simply because the crowd was already packed in. while we waited ronny from nrk p3 walked past, and that was my only celebrity sighting at the whole festival. on thursday i thought i saw axel bøyum walk in front of me, but i’m not sure. it was fast, and i thought i noticed his sharply-angled face and deep eyes, but he was also wearing a hood so i didn’t have much else to compare. he was short though, which also made him stand out to me. anyway, that was the extent of my sightings: 1.5 people. there were others there, of course, because i saw their instagram posts, but i either wasn’t paying attention or wasn’t in the right places to see them. since i myself prefer not to be seen, i tend to treat everyone else the same (at least not on the internet), so i default to ignoring the people around me unless they acknowledge me first. i need your explicit consent before i let myself stare at you.

here’s a brief pause to note how sad i am about heimebane. aaaaaand moving on!

the karpe crowd was huge and...different. saturday had a different vibe in general because it was the weekend, and if someone was going to just pick one day to go to øya this would be that day. also it was raining, so there was this anticipatory buzz that was like, 80% for the show and 20% for getting dry again in a couple of hours. our group kind of slowly shifted and morphed as we were pushed closer to the stage and trying not to lose our footing on the sloped ground. but then the show started and the crowd exploded and you just had to fuckin’ roll with it.

i had to read up on the show afterward to understand some of what magdi and chirag were talking and singing about. despite talking about it with fryd months ago, i didn’t get into their new album like i’d wanted to. so i didn’t understand most of the message in the moment; i was just enjoying the beats and the intensity of everyone else. there was a group of younger guys in front of us who sang every damn word and it was just a really...fulfilling thing to witness? norway came out for norway, and the crowd was exactly what karpe deserved for the show they put on. the guys chatted with nadège and sang at me to get us hyped, and i still felt slightly removed from the crowd but that was okay. i enjoyed this outsider place. i didn’t have to understand or be part of it because it was big enough on its own. i could simply bask in the overflow and dance in the rain.

i knew one song from when i had it on repeat summer 2017, the result of following ashley’s obsession with karpe on tumblr. i also still connected it to skam, from when i was more passionately following the actors’ lives and seeing them go to their concert in oslo, which i think cengiz was also dancing for? these are very weak links but links nonetheless, and it still felt like i was ticking off boxes on my unwritten “experience skam” list. it’s also a testament to how far i’ll twist something to justify it, make it fit my personal narrative. i must still feel guilty about my trips to oslo.

(side note: i’ve been meaning to look this up but i am fascinated by their use of the sas brand in their album and shows, like...they are aggressively shaping the brand and i’m curious as to whether they have permission to do it or if they don’t need it or what level of control the brand has over its use. the relationship between a brand and an artist these days is fucking fascinating, and i’m sort of aware of the rules that we need in america but is it different in other countries? i’m already a fan of sas, in that it’s my airline for my trips to oslo, but would i have been influenced more toward or against it if i were approaching it from a karpe angle, if the duo were introducing me to it? anyway, just some mind wanderings there.)

at the end the crowd was lighting up their cups again. we were surrounded by different people than how we started and couldn’t find the ones we knew. we made the same walk away from the stage, bouncing along with the flow, until we got to the festival sign to catch up with everyone. we took a group pic and said goodnight, not entirely sure what the next day would bring but quite satisfied with the one that had just ended. it was funny how used to the exit walk i’d become, after just a few days, and i felt a little nostalgic about even that, as we did it for the last time. and even though we were all soaked and exhausted, i didn’t feel a particular rush to leave. but it was over. just like that. the volunteers were collecting cups from the crowd as we went, but i took mine home.

#this took way too long to write and now i’m so behind it doesn’t matter anymore #i’ve queued it for a random dag in october #who knows if i’ll be back or still on lockdown #kerryinoslo

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officialkmi · 5 years

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Theory of Love Episode 2: Love Actually

I was really looking forward to this episode because, as those who read my first review may remember, I was lest than impressed with the first episode. It left something to be desired and I felt as though the plot was moving too fast for a single episode.

Episode 2 doesn’t fix everything, but I like it a lot more than the first one.

Emotions

The episode itself starts off really heavy. If you haven’t started the series yet and are going it, the start of episode 2 flowers nicely after the emotions of episode 1. However, the entire first half felt extremely heavy and serious, so it was hard for me to really enjoy it. The first episode instantly made me laugh so that I couldn’t help but cry with the emotional ending. This episode has me feeling pity for poor Third, which helps make the second half feel funnier and also more genuine.

Altogether, an emotional first-half does help, but it made the entire episode feel too heavy and I was left thinking the humor was lacking.

ENTER: The Love Rival (I’m pretty sure)

The love rival can also be called “the curse of the drama fan,” as they’re typically the one they’d rather win than the main character’s actual love interest. When the love rival is typically introduced, the main character’s actual love interest is a huge jerk and it seems like the main character has no chance. For our KDrama fans, I typically think of the drama “To the Beautiful You,” which has Minho’s character Tae-Joon appearing as a jerk towards Sulli’s character Jae-Hee. Even though we as the viewer know Tae-Joon will win, many fans still cheered for Lee Hyun-Woo’s character Eun-Gyeol. Of course, by the end, we do support the main love interest, but we still cheer on the second one.

I, personally, have found that the love rival works well to help trigger a change in the main love interest. It’s not always the case, but they can help ignite jealousy and possessiveness, and even to help the main interest realize that they have feelings for the main character.

Now, granted, our new character Un isn’t necessarily a love rival yet. However, considering what I typically see with love rivals, he seems to fit the bill. We have the main love interest, Khai, who seems to be oblivious to Third’s feelings and actually causes Third frustration and pain. He’s carrying about his life like usual, and then this handsome af guy comes up and talks to Third like its nothing. The characters explain that he directs (like Third), he can attract girls without doing anything, and he’s kind. They also mention he’s been hanging around Third since their freshman year (three years, the length of time Third has liked Khai). Oh, yeah, and did I mention he’s handsome? He genuinely makes me think of Forth from 2Moons, as they’re both really handsome and kind (and neither will end up with the main guy, though I’ve heard Forth+Beam should be a thing in season 2 of 2Moons). Honestly, I thought Un’s actor (Earth) was attractive when I saw him as Type in Love By Chance (which didn’t finish airing that long ago).

Basically, from what we know about Un (which is basically how amazing he is + that he’ been friendly with Third since their first year), it seems like he fits the bill and will help ignite the romance a bit.

Wingman Failure

Two has a good heart. I said in the last review that, just based on the preview for episode 2, it seemed like he’d be a key ally to Third. His attempts to help actually make for great comedic relief since he’s really bad at helping Third. One thing that’s apparent early on in the episode is that Two doesn’t quite understand Third’s mentality. Third has kept this secret for three years! He was ready to give up and move on and never tell anyone the truth. It was just luck that Two walked in on him breaking down after having his heart broken yet again by Khai. What does this mean? It means that Third won’t confess just because the timing’s good. This lends itself to the central conflict of this episode: Third’s confessions. Or attempts at them.

In this episode, he has about three good chances to confess to Khai. One is set up by Two, which is when they’re collecting ambient sound. However, he chickens out. And who can blame him? Why would he just confess out of the blue to Khai? It’s not until Khai seems to drop hints about being open to a confession that Third can actually bring himself to do anything (however, Khai is an idiot and probably doesn’t realize that’s the message he’s sending. I’ll get to Khai later).

The second confession is when Third decides to take Two’s advice to copy a confession from a movie. He chooses the film “Love Actually,” which is where the episode’s name comes from. However, this ends in failure because Khai just thinks that Third is trying to help him find ways to get Milk back.

The third confession is set up thinks to Two’s brilliant plan. Using the classic “plan doesn’t go according to plan, but still works,” Two has Third pretend he can’t pay for his apartment. He then says he can’t take him in, planning to have Khai volunteer. Instead, Bone offers. Now, the sight of Bone’s room pretty much makes it clear that Bone should not invite anyone into his room ever and he should probably throw 90% of what’s in his room away. Finally, Khai takes pity and stops Third from staying there, instead inviting him over to his own place. Finally, third makes his confession, which is cute and poetic. The problem is, Khai is stupid and doesn’t realize the poetic statement is a confession. He tells Third not to say that to anyone else, not even their friends, because they’d instantly fall in love. He then walks off, giving Third yet another failed attempt at confessing.

Khai: Redeemed?

In my last review, I made it clear that I didn’t really like Khai’s character. He feels like this character that’s hard to like, as he just keeps hurting Third over and over again. We’re given no info on him other than the fact that he’s an attractive womanizer. However, there is some bit of redemption and hope for the viewer to like him more as the series progresses.

Khai’s redemption actually likes in the fact that he’s an idiot who keeps dropping clues, whether he means to or not. He’s not as big of an asshole in this episode, but he’s also talking about no longer dating girls who don’t really love him. We also see Khai as doing the job he should as a friend: helping and comforting Third. He seems like his heart is more or less in the right place, but this is only episode 2 and I really doubt Khai will be able to keep this up. I watched the preview for episode 3, and that only seems to confirm my suspicions that he’s going to chase after another skirt, leaving Third to feel heartbroken again while not being able to mope around because he’ll have to see Khai and whoever Khai’s hooking up with no place to escape.

Pan? Un?

We meet two new characters in this episode, Pan and Un. I’ve already covered Un’s introduction, but I’d like to reiterate that he really is an attractive guy and we’re not given much info on him aside from his popularity and relationship with Third. Third also seems to genuinely enjoy talking to him, so I really think that he’ll be an interesting character to see develop.

Pan’s timing for her introduction isn’t the best, in my opinion. She’s introduced in the very last scene, which removes any “I want more” feelings from the viewer. We see her talk to Bone, and we see that Bone is clearly interested. Well...there goes my wish that Bone and Two will pair up. Granted, things could change, but the preview also shows an introduction to a female character played by Neen Suwanamas who is clearly known by Two (mydramalist has her listed as Lin, but our Sotus fans may recognize her as May). While I’m fine with Two and Bone both getting girlfriends, I was kind of hoping that the series would feature a second gay romance to help break up the story of the one.

While we get almost no interest on Pan, her being introduced in the last scene would typically imply she’ll be an important character. This especially would hint at her being a key player in the next episode, but it could also be a poor choice for the ending scene in general. For that, we’ll just have to wait and see.

What I Loved

There were a few things I liked this episode. One of the main things I loved was Third editing together the sound clips to say “Khai, I love you” while crying by himself. It was a really emotional scene, especially with the song playing in the background. These are words that we, as viewers, don’t know if Third will ever be able to actually say to Khai. That makes this scene that much more emotional. While the shot did feel long, even with the cross fades between shots, the song playing did help. Besides, the cross fade and slow tears made it feel more of a real pain. It wasn’t him overwhelmed in his heartbreak and swearing to move on, it was him acknowledging to himself that he may never say those words to Khai.

I also loved the scene when they sat in the theater watching the credits role. While they did talk about the movie itself at first, they still sat watching in silence after they finished talking. They were the only people in the theater watching the credits role, which could have simply been setting up a nice shot. However, for me it felt more significant since they are film students. One day, that could be their names in the credits. Also, they understand the hard work that goes into making a movie because of their major. It’s really nice, even though I may just be imagining the whole thing.

Finally, I loved how they showed Third imagining each confession to Khai when looking for a movie confession to use. Each time Bone recommended one, Third imagined it and it was honestly hilarious. It helped lighten the mood for the episode a bit more, which I felt was vital after the serious feeling in the first two parts of the episode.

In general, the mood really picked up after the first half. I especially liked how it showed them together in the apartment, watching a movie, both crying over it. It made the relationship feel more genuine, which is important if the viewer is going to cheer for Khai at all and support the relationship.

Final Words

I left this episode liking Khai more than I had after the first. Additionally, the pacing felt a lot better, too. However, some scenes didn’t flow well and I wasn’t left with that feeling of wanting more after the episode was over. Between episodes one and two, I was eagerly awaiting the subs for Episode 2. I wanted t see what would happen after the emotional ending of Episode 1.

Since we, as the viewers, don’t understand if Pan is anyone of importance, since this is her first appearance, it’s hard to really like her introduction as the ending of the episode. While I know not every episode can end in a cliff hanger, I would’ve liked a more satisfying end to the episode.

#theory of love #thai drama #thai gay drama #gay drama #thai #thai show #thai series #theory of love the series #theory of love (2019)#theory of love(2019)#kmi #kmi reviews #official kmi #kmi official #episode 2 #theory of love ep 2 #theory of love episode two #theory of love ep2

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neverwatchedonepiece · 6 years

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538-539: "The Straw Hats Defeated?! Hordy Gains Control of the Rygu Palace!" and "The Haunting Ties! Nami and the Fish-Man Pirates!"

Neptune’s finely tuned Roid-dar in action.

Finally figured out what was wrong with Chrome, so it’s business as usual. (FYI, it was the antivirus SSL scanning feature conflicting with certain websites’ certificates. Not great that I have to turn it off for browsers to function but that is a rant for another blog.)

On the Fishman Island arc front, 539 was the episode I’d been waiting for. I don’t have all the story yet but I know it’s coming. I’m excited to see what Oda does with Queen Otohime and Fisher Tiger’s stories. I also wanted to talk about Nami this post and I finally have the chance because she’s already at the Sea Forest and has met Jimbei (more on that later).

[title]

A Fishman Captain who can’t beat a human in a fight underwater without resorting to performance enhancing Fish Roids can’t amount to much, either.

Just a thought.

Must say the spoileriffic title for 538 was unexpected. I honestly thought Zoro would win, or at least force a stalemate so that he could hold back the invasion with Usopp and Brook. Nope. Oda has diverted the plot in a direction I did not predict. Now I’m wondering how Neptune will retake the palace. I’m thinking a concerted effort, with the royal guard, maybe some citizens, plus reunited Strawhats out in force. Mainly so the Strawhats can clear their name because right now, the locals still believe they’re responsible for storming the palace and kidnapping Shirahoshi.

There was some good tension sustained when Zoro was fighting underwater and knew he had to surface to breathe. He defeated Hordy but was grabbed by a bunch of Hordy’s Roided Goons. When I was a kid, I remember playing Sonic the Hedgehog. There was nothing like that dread when Sonic was underwater and the oxygen countdown started. Find a bubble or else! Even though I knew Zoro’s plot shield would hold, I still felt that tension. xD For a moment, I was annoyed that Usopp didn’t go help him but then I realised Usopp was the only thing stopping Brook from sinking like a stone.

Neptune was great. I like the guy now. Compared to Hordy Jones, he’s an excellent leader. I brought up before his tendency to take advice, to listen to his people and consider their opinions even if he weighs them up and decides to do something else. In 537, it was obvious that Neptune cares about his people. He realised the Fish roids could be a real threat to his people’s safety. Instead of saving face, instead of a “we shall defend this palace to the death!” attitude that only gets people killed, Neptune only considered getting everyone out safely, and used his strength to secure an escape route: sacrificing himself in the process.

When his men did escape, they immediately thought of Neptune, of how he had helped them. They wanted to help Neptune because of everything he had done for them.

Compare that to Hordy “Become my Meat Shield or Die” Jones. He rules by fear and thinks of his dispensable soldiers in terms of what they can do for him.

It’s clear who the best king here is.

Must admit, though. Hordy Jones is organised. He instructed his head goons to assemble raiding parties to invade different districts of Mermaid Cove. Waterwheel Town, Candy Factory Town, Fishverly Hills, and other places I didn’t catch are under the control of Hordy Jones. His Head Goons wasted no time forcing the new regime and the new ideals on the locals, forcing them to commit a highly-charged political act of disrespect: step on an image of Queen Otohime or die.

Naturally, Fukaboshi was fuming when he found out what was going on. That was his mother. Not cool. (I am hopeful he will lead the counterattack. I bet he’ll succeed Neptune some day.)

I’m also wondering about Big Mom. Candy Factory Town has fallen to Hordy Jones. If the tribues stop pouring in from Fishman Island, would she send someone to see what’s going on and kick Hordy’s ass herself? I mean, sure, the Roids make him strong, but this is a Yonkou were talking about here.

And Brook is a potential wild card here too. When Neptune, Zoro and Usopp were captured, Hordy’s Goons dismissed Brook. “What’s that skeleton doing here?” “Dunno.” I wonder if Brook will do a Sanji and complete the stealth missions this arc?

Jimbei’s Glorious Reaction Face

LUFFY-KUN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Watching Jimbei unravel like that was hilarious. It’s always funnier when the stoic characters crack. Only Luffy could stress someone out that much. And we got two in a row when he realised Hachi was there too. Chopper should start running blood pressure clinics for those suffering Strawhat-induced stress.

The object of Jimbei’s stress was that Luffy had appeared with Princess Shirahoshi in tow. Jimbei knew all the crap she had been through (I wonder if he tried to stop it before but couldn’t find Decken?). He also knew how unsafe it was for her to be outside. Just as he said this to Luffy, a random axe whirred through the air and Luffy deflected it.

I admire Luffy’s unwavering confidence that he can protect Shirahoshi (“She knows I’ve got her back!”) and I love that he did take her to the Sea Forest to pray at her mother’s grave (that was sad) but it is bloody dangerous, you’ve got to admit. Jimbei said the harrassment started after Queen Otohime’s death so poor Shirahosi couldn’t even attend her mother’s funeral (I need someone to kick that guy’s ass ASAP. Do not care who it is now.) What if Luffy suddenly has his hands full? Maybe Sanji will step in and fend off Decken, now that he’s back to normal, thank god. I guess the most effective treatment for Sanji’s weakness is immersion therapy.

The lack of message to Luffy is also suspicious. Why did Jimbei’s message not get through? Someone is intercepting communication. I wonder if Hordy is behind this too. Maybe he doesn’t want the peaceable but powerful Jimbei ruining his plans.

Den-san wondered what all the commotion was and shouted out from Sunny’s deck (and Franky had his “My captain is a dumbass” moment). Not long after, Nami and Camie arrived.

I liked that Oda assembled those three Merfolk and Fishmen together because they were able to represent different voices from Fishmen Island. It wasnt’ just one person speaking for their history. All of them had a voice.

Including a human who had been affected by the violent repercussions of Fishman Island’s brutal history.

Nami and Fishman History

I have been wanting to write about Nami for ages. After I finished the last post, I started thinking about Hordy and what he would think of Nami if he found out about her. I guessed he would hate her for betraying Arlong and would want revenge. It’s funny, but Hordy made the same mistake with Nami as Arlong did. He underestimated her. When she left with Camie, Hordy’s goons did tell him, but he dismissed the warning. Let them go. It doesn’t matter.

Now, I wonder if history will repeat itself. Nami has escaped, has told Luffy what’s going on and soon they will have the power to regroup, counterattack and re-take the palace. I doubt they will ever fix the relationships between humans and Fishfolk. But maybe they could be a symbol of improvement, if nothing else.

Nami’s reaction to Jimbei in the last episode was telling. Something was up there, I was certain of it. Again, in 538, she was indifferent to the point of wariness when she spoke to him. Camie was full of admiration. Nami was guarded. She also wanted to skip straight to the point and halted Sanji’s fool antics in their tracks because she had a bone to pick with Jimbei.

I had been thinking about Jimbei and how he might be related to all the troubles in Fishman Island.

I had no idea he was the one who set Arlong on the rampage in East Blue.

Nami must have known something. Maybe she heard Arlong talking about Jimbei. Maybe Arlong told stories about the Sun Pirates and Jimbei’s name came up.

Jimbei did apologise. He said he was grateful for the Strawhats stopping Arlong wreaking further havoc in East Blue. But for Nami - and Sanji for that matter (I am so glad the daft behaviour has stopped. I like Sanji best when he’s being serious) - the apology wasn’t quite enough.

Sanji remembered was Yosaku told them about JImbei (I would totally have forgot about this if not for the flashback). In exchange for joining the Shichibukai, he set Arlong loose. Still not sure exactly what that means. Did Jimbei say, “Right, Arlong, go get those stinky humans” or did he have to cut the extremist Arlong loose so he could ascend to an official government role and not be tainted be association?

Sanji was cool here. “If you wanna make excuses, fine,” he said. “But Nami here had her home taken over by Arlong and went through hell. Depending on what you say, I might not forgive you.”

Which is fair enough, actually. No one is obliged to forgive anyone.

Nami told her story. She also said that travelling to Sabaody Park and finding out about how awfully Fishmen are treated would never change the way she feels about Arlong, but now she understands why he thought that way.

That is hugely generous of her, honestly. Considering the way Nami was treated by Arlong, to even feel the tiniest shred of understanding for his motives is remarkable. She saw how Camie and Hachi were treated and I think it was a real eye-opener for her. One that she’d never forget

Then the story of Fishman Island was told by three Fishmen who had lived through the worst of its history, Jimbei, Hachi and Den-san.

Nami mentioned that Arlong Park looked exactly like Sabaody Park. Hachi said that when they were little, they yearned for what the human world had. That shot above is like poor street kids looking over a wall into a gated community and longing for the tiniest portion of what the rich people have.

But when they grew up, they hurt so many humans, Hachi said. He heard that, long ago, Fishmen and Merfolk were considered mere fish by humans. (This reminds me of how 18th century western academics used to classify other races as subhuman. Disgusting.) But then two hundred years ago, the Ryugu Kingdom became a member of the World Government.

You would think that would improve relations, wouldn’t you? But no. The Celestial Dragons, the ones who held the real power, were still bigoted and were the worst of them all.

The Great Pirate Era hit and Den-san said that was the worst time of all. Human pirates rampaged through Fishman Island. It was taken over.

And now I know why Jimbei was so determined to fight and die for Whitebeard. Saint Whitebeard the Great saved Fishman Island, claimed it for his own and imposed peace.

But humans still didn’t like Fishmen. The Strawhats had seen that at Sabaody. Even though the World Government bridged the gap in relations, it did not improve much.

Then two figures stepped up to change Fishman Island’s history forever.

Queen Otohime, Shirahoshi’s mother, tried to convince the islanders to live in harmony with humans.

Fisher Tiger, the hero who invaded Mariejois ON HIS OWN to free the imprisoned Fishman slaves, called for a parting of the ways between Fishmen and humans.

I haven’t heard all the story yet, but I’m guessing these two have a Major Difference of Opinion.

I can’t wait to hear the rest.

This is some good stuff. I love the themes in this arc. There’s so much here that resonates strongly with current events. It’s almost spooky...

You’re right, Franky. There’s no point. Just smile and nod.

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timeisacephalopod · 6 years

Text

Falling Into Place

This is a random AU with aromantic Tony because why the shit not lol. This has some minor Sam/Bucky in it and also a little bit of aro (and ace) phobia, but nothing too rough. More like utter ignorance towards the subject.

Tony is spread across the couch, feet caging Rhodey in on the other end. He has his laptop balanced on Tony’s calves and occasionally to be an asshole he’ll move his legs around just to watch Rhodey scramble to not let his computer drop. Its funnier considering Tony would obviously fix his computer if he broke it. Across the room Bucky sits with Sam, one foot almost in his face while Sam unsuccessfully waves it off. They have a weird, somewhat antagonistic relationship but they’re sweet together.

“So what exactly is that?” Tony asks, referring to Bucky’s talk of whatever the hell an ‘asexual’ is. He’s familiar with the outdated scientific term but something tells him Bucky is not referring to reproduction.

“No sexual attraction,” Bucky says simply.

Tony frowns, considers that for a moment because he didn’t even know that could be a thing people feel. Or don’t feel he guesses. “Nice. I don’t really get it in a practical sense but ok- I’ll look it up later.”

“How do you have a relationship if you don’t feel sexual attraction?” Rhodey asks. Tony, Bucky, and Sam frown in sync but only Bucky looks slightly offended. Tony supposes he had guessed right when it occurred to him that that was kind of rude.

“Relationships aren’t built on sexual attraction,” Bucky says slowly, like he’s not entirely sure how to explain his relationship with Sam. Tony isn’t entirely sure he should need to if it works for him and Sam. Though he wonders how the sex thing works not that he’s going to ask. That seems kind of rude too, and he’s been reliably informed that if he wouldn’t ask a majority group the question he shouldn’t ask the minority group. And he definitely wouldn’t ask Pepper to explain how her sex life with Natasha worked on account of him being fond of his life. And also on account of that being fucking weird.

Rhodey frowns though, “I mean... they kind of are. No offense,” he adds and Tony squints.

“Isn’t a relationship built of sexual attraction just a one night stand? No hate to that obviously, its my preferred kind of relationship, but like... actual relationships have all that time, and commitment, and marriage, and all that shit. Hey Barnes, got a word for someone who doesn’t want any of all that?” he asks in a facetious tone, grinning.

“Aromantic,” he says and Tony laughs.

“Huh, that was pretty quick, color me impressed. How’d you make that up so fast?” he asks.

Bucky frowns, “I didn’t, that’s a real thing.”

Tony looks over at Rhodey, his usual guide into ‘is this person shitting me or is this a real thing’ when it comes to various minority issues. Not like he’d know about most of them first hand though it does occur to him that maybe Rhodey isn’t a good authority right now. “He’s obviously fucking with you, Tony,” he says and Bucky lets out an annoyed noise.

“I am not, fucking Google it,” he says, irritation leaking into his tone. Sam reaches out and settles a hand on his knee, finally succeeding in removing Bucky’s foot from his face. Rhodey immediately looks it up and Tony frowns, eyebrows drawn together because he actually wants that to be a thing. It would explain a lot about his life if it were a thing but if Bucky is just being an ass he doesn’t want his bubble burst.

“Oh, that is a thing I guess,” Rhodey says. “That doesn’t even make sense,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Maybe not to you but that makes perfect sense to me,” Tony says, pulling out his phone to look the term up himself. The definition, he discovers, is a lack of experiencing romantic attraction. When he follows a few links though the somewhat vague definition makes more sense. He’s always been fond of touch- he’s a touchy guy- but people always took it as a romantic or sexual thing so he sort of went with it even though he never really wanted the relationship part. And has spent his whole life being accused of being afraid of commitment or just using people for sex.

“Actually I sort of figured you were aromantic a long time ago,” Bucky says. “Back when you and Pepper broke up and she told you that you needed to work out your commitment issues and you told her you never even wanted a relationship to begin with. Kind of an asshole way to put it, but that’s pretty much how all your relationships end if they turn romantic,” Bucky points out. Tony winces because yeah, Pepper had been pretty hurt by that, probably still is and for good reason, but Tony hadn’t known how to word his disinterest in the relationship part of their relationship.

Guess it was the ‘romantic’ part that threw him given that they’re fine as friends, always were, but then he was dumb and slept with her, which she took as interest in something beyond the platonic and can you platonically sleep with people? Because mostly he just likes the intimacy. And you know, orgasms are also pretty cool. He’ll look that up later too.

“Seriously?” Rhodey asks him, raising an eyebrow.

“What? Like it doesn’t explain literally every relationship I’ve ever had minus friendships? Don’t be an asshole Rhodes, you damn well know this explains all my behavior,” he says. At least he has an actual explanation for Pepper now and maybe his comment won’t sting as much. She’s earned an actual reason for that statement because it had been true, but far too harshly put.

“Excuses it, maybe,” Rhodey says and Tony pulls his feet back, watching in a somewhat mean kind of glee as his computer falls and he doesn’t catch it in time. “That was uncalled for!” Rhodey tells him, picking the machine up off the ground.

Tony flips him off, “you earned it. Its not like I’ve ever intentionally been an asshole to people I’ve dated, I’ve just never wanted a relationship.” Not knowing how to explain that is what resulted in harsh statements Tony has, until now, refused to apologize for because they were true and he’s always been under the impression that you apologize when you mean it. And issuing an apology because someone got hurt and not because he actually felt bad for reasons outside of that has always felt cheap to him. People deserve better than guilty ‘I’m sorrys’ or maybe that’s because he’s gotten too many of those from Howard.

“That why don’t you ever tell people that?” Rhodey asks.

“He does literally all the time in every interview I’ve ever seen and consistently states that he’s not a relationship kind of person to everyone he’s ever met. I knew that five minutes after knowing him,” Sam says, surprising Tony with his defense. He’s sort of always suspected that Sam didn’t like him much though he has no idea why.

“He’s not wrong,” Tony says, remembering perhaps belatedly that Sam’s words are true and he’s always insisted that he’s not interested in relationships. Which is why he always ends up confused to find himself in them. And it occurs to him that he’s literally never initiated a relationship on his own before. Never even considered it, actually.

Bucky smiles from across the room. “And now your entire life starts to make sense because oh, the only reason you ever had an interest in romance if because people had an interest in romancing you,” he says and Tony lets out a soft laugh.

“Yeah actually. Yeah, that’s it exactly. How’d you know that?”

Bucky grins wider, “when I accidentally stumbled across the term ‘asexual’ it occurred to me that the only interest I had in anything sexual in nature was always directly related to my partner’s interest, never mine. I’ve never initiated sex of any kind. Not to be an asshole but its kind of funny to watch the same with with you and romance from the outside. You always look so confused when you end up dating someone. Its not so fun when things end though,” he says, wincing.

Yeah, no fucking shit. “Maybe next time tell me these things sooner Barnes, what the hell?” He could have used this months ago, no, years ago. A memory floats back to him, one from his early childhood, and he frowns as it comes back. He’d been a kid in college- obviously everyone was interested in things he wasn’t. Sort of. He’d been young, but young enough to have begun taking an interest in sex. Relationships were lost on him though. He did a good job keeping up appearances with people around him but there was one time when someone mentioned marriage- or ‘settling down’ like being out of a relationship was wild somehow- and Tony had shaken his head and asked why anyone even wanted that. He said he’d prefer to to live with friends over marriage but that had gotten laughs. He had to grow up sometime, they’d said.

Only it occurs to him now that he never grew out of that line of thinking, he just hid it better because he’s always hated being viewed as immature. Remnants of growing up a child genius. “I think maybe I should go apologize to Pepper,” he says softly.

***

“Yeah um, so that’s what I meant. I didn’t... I wasn’t trying to be an asshole, I just didn’t know how to explain how I felt and it came out wrong,” Tony tells Pepper. She looks over the information he’d compiled for her and he waits nervously for a reaction.

Eventually she smiles a little, “actually this explains... a lot. Like how you always seem confused to be in relationships. I always thought it was because you never really saw yourself as a relationship kind of person but I guess it went deeper than just personal feelings or problems. I appreciate the apology, though,” she says.

Tony sighs, sitting down beside her on the couch. “Figured you earned it, I was kind of an ass about our breakup.”

Pepper shakes her head, “I wasn’t mad because of what you said, I was mad because you didn’t seem to understand why that was so hurtful to me. Guess we both didn’t understand anything the other was saying. So I’m sorry too, for not thinking to ask questions or something.”

He snorts, as if that should have been Pepper’s problem to begin with. “Don’t be, this isn’t your fault at all. Blame Barnes, his asshole asexual ass knew about this the whole fucking time and thought my confusion was amusing and neglected to tell me what the hell was going on.” He’s so getting Barnes back for this starting with a hostile takeover of Bucky’s left arm.

“Well, I think we can all agree that this was for the best. Natasha is a much better partner than you ever were. No offense,” she says.

Tony laughs, “your fucking cactus is a better dating partner than me, Pep. I’m just happy I didn’t screw up your relationships forever with my dumbassery.”

Pepper rolls her eyes, “I love you Tony, but our breakup was not that important in the grand scheme of things. I am happy you figured yourself out though, god knows what kind of disaster relationship you would have accidentally found yourself in next.”

He thinks about his date or two with T’Challa and winces, “yeah, probably for the best.” And he should probably fill T’Challa in in the meantime. He could probably help with the hostile takeover of Bucky’s arm.

(AN: Rhodey does eventually grow out of being an ass and apologizes when he realizes that oh, that is a real thing. Mostly because Pepper tells him he’s being a prick and should listen to Tony, who never figures out any of his emotions so they should encourage it when he finally does figure one out).

#aromantic tony stark #aromantic story #fanfiction #My writing

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jjanqque · 6 years

Text

Dogs Everywhere

A Good Day To Be A Dog (Webtoon)

Jungkook x Reader

⚠️ Grammatical Error

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

Born as the youngest of the two sisters in an ordinary family, I had an okay childhood without anything in particular to comment on.

"MOM!! UNNIE IS BUGGING ME AGAIN" My sister said as she pulls my hair, hurting me even more. I grew irritated as I shouted, "YOU HIT ME FIRST!!"

"GIRLS!! CAN'T YOU JUST BE QUIET FOR JUST ONE DAY!" Our mom came out of the kitchen holding a knife, pointing towards us. Scared that we may get hit, we quieted down and looked at each other pouting.

My grades in middle school were okay,

As my teacher calls my name, I stood up and he handed out my math test. He smiled at me, "You're first place again, (Y/N)" I bowed thankful and went back to my seat.

I'm not bad-looking,

As I pass by the halls going to my classroom, I see boys and girls whispering and pointing at my direction.

"Look! Look! Isn't (Y/N) so pretty?"

"I wish I could be just like her"

"I hope she accepts my confession"

And I have an easygoing personality so I always had lots of friends around me.

They laughed even harder as I put my blazer on my head while still wearing it while doing an even funnier face, "Look! I'm the penguine in Batman!"

They laughed even harder, "What the hell, (Y/N)!!" I laughed as I chased them around the hallway.

"You're killing me!"

The state teaching exam is known for its difficulty but I even passed that on my first try. I felt so embarrassed to even walk around the neighborhood because my parent's bragging back then.

As I walk home from the exam, I saw some of the people on my neighborhood talking about something. I blushed as I walked faster to ignore them about my parent's bragging about me.

But alas, they saw me. "Hey (Y/N)!! Congratulations!" An elderly man congratulated me.

"Haha, thank you" I smiled at him and bowed.

"Yeah! I heard you passed the teaching exam, Haha! Amazing!"

When you look at it like this, it seems like I've lived a solid life without any twists and turns but right now I think I'm a very unhappy woman.

I stared at students as I walked pass classrooms.

Because of this one thing in my life that has never worked out smoothly!

I entered the classroom as I saw my students throwing paper balls at their friends, chatting with their friends and just being noisy, typical for a student.

I sighed as I walked in gloomy.

"At least pretend to be seated when the teacher comes in the room, you brats!!!" I slammed my attendance notebook on my desk staring irritated at them.

"Jeez! Miss~ why are you so sensitive today? Did you get dumped again?" One my students asked questioningly. I flinched.

The atmosphere around me turns sulky and quiet.

"Hey...sit down, sit down"

The atmosphere still is somber...

"How many times is this now?" The same student questioned. "Let's be quiet, guys" the class president shushed him.

I looked at them tired, "Don't pity me. I'd rather let you just go back to being loud again."

I've never had a proper relationship.

I'm in the canteen looking blank and staring only at my food as I scooped up my food someone suddenly called me. "(Y/N)~~!!" She tapped me at the back. "I heard you got dumped again."

I stared at her surprised, "How did you know?!!" She smiled at me, "I had your students in fourth period. They said to be nice to you because you're not in a good mood." She winked at me.

"So they're all excited because they got something on me again, huh?" I tsked and pouted, "I really have problematic students" she sighed and leaned her head on her arm that was resting on the table, "Why did you get dumped this time? Was it because of..that thing?"

My mood turned sour, "...Yeah. He said I'm strange" she looked at me amused. "Well, you are strange. But still,—" I looked at her blankly. "Doesn't it seem a bit odd to date someone under the condition that you 'don't kiss'?" I snarled.

"THEN THEY SHOUDN'T HAVE DATED ME!!! I TOLD THEM VERY CLEARLY BEFORE WE STARTED DATING!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, gaining looks from other teachers. "But they were all like..."

"What?? You were serious about that? I thought you were kidding obviously."

"But why? I've heard of chastity before marriage but this is a first."

"Then why are you dating?"

I rested my head on the table, "Would it kill them not to kiss me? I'm willing to do anything but kiss so what's the problem!!" My friend looked at me strange, "That's what's strange. If you're not going to do one thing, you shouldn't do anything. Why is only kissing not allowed?"

"It's not that you've really never kissed anyone before, right?" I flinched as she laughed at her joke. I looked at the other way as she noticed my expression. "Are you sick or something?" She looked at me concerned.

I stared at my food as I remembered something. "Well...

My sister opened the door of my bedroom and she looked surprised as she saw me, "Sis..."

"I guess you could call it a sickness." I looked at her tired. "What is it?" She questioned but I just ignored her. "I want to go into a forest or something and shout." I stared up ahead, "Shout what?" She questioned again.

"Why I can't kiss someone!!" I stretched backwards as I accidentally hit someone as I stretched. I felt something hot on my sleeve. "No! my cardigan!"

I looked at the person and saw Jeon Jungkook, a teacher and a frenemy? Idk of mine. He looked at me, unfazed. "It wasn't my fault"

"I know. Did you get any on your clothes, Mr. Jeon?" I searched around his clothes to see if there were any stains. He shooked his head as a no. I blinked, "Then did you spill any on your han..." he didn't even let me finish, he just walked away.

"He left before I could even apologize. That personality of his..." I sighed irritated as I watch him walk away. My friend looked at me again, "Why do you hate Jeon Jungkook so much? He's a bit cold but he sure is handsome." I glared at her, "I don't hate him, he's the one who hates me."

"Why?" I shrugged, "How should I know?" She sighed at my behavior as we continue to chat and eat.

As I was walking to my next class, I saw Jungkook also passing by the hallway. I sighed, 'let's be nice'. I smiled at him as I walked pass but was stopped by a hand grabbing my shoulder, turning me around to face him.

"Here" he handed me his cardigan, "Your coat has a stain because of the coffee, right?" My eyes widened. "You don't need to—" I spluttered. He sighed, "Just take it, its like a sign that I'm sorry for what had happened"

"Uh— well thanks" I smiled at him as I see his ears going pink. I wore his cardigan and fixed it properly, woah it's warm. I smiled again gratefully as I was about to say thank you again, I saw Mr. Jung running in our direction while Mr. Kim is chasing him.

"Mr. Jeon l—" I didn't get to finish my sentence as Jungkook was pushed by Mr. Jung towards me making him collapse on top of me onto the floor. I closed my eyes from the impact but I feel soft lips on my own. I opened my eyes in a hurry and was met by cute doe eyes. He stood up quickly followed by me.

'Oh no' I nervously looked around. I heard him coughed, "I'm so sor—" he didn't get to finish his sentence as I run off to another direction. "Hey!" He shouted at me but I didn't turn back.

As I rounded by the corner out of breath, I saw one of my students passing by too. "This is an unlucky day" I shrieked. I turned around the corner again then—

POOF~~~

I knew it was coming, I will turn into a dog when I kiss a guy. Damn ancestors cursing himself. Turning to a dog really makes me sad but still, objectively speaking, I do look cute as a dog.

"Ms. (L/N)" I freeze as I heard a familiar voice. "Is that you?" I turned around as I see Jungkook looking surprised and at aww as he sees me at my dog form.

Oh shit.

#bts #jeonjungkook #jungkookxreader #jungkook #webtoon #a good day to be a dog #idk but i like this one #Keke's Delivery Service

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junker-town · 5 years

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Why ‘Madden NFL 20’ is even better than last year’s version

After a period of stagnation, ‘Madden’ continues to improve in ways that make it worth your time.

Last year, I recommended the latest iteration of the Madden NFL franchise, calling it the first one in a long time that I could recommend as a complete $60 package. After spending time with Madden NFL 20, which releases for all major platforms on Aug. 2, I can again say that EA is getting pretty good at making tangible improvements that go beyond a simple roster update.

That said, Madden NFL 20 is not without its flaws. There’s a growing disconnect between fans of the more realistic, almost sanitized Madden of today, and fans who prefer the minigame-packed, looser-feeling Madden of yesteryear.

EA has tried to bridge that gap in recent games with the introduction of “arcade” style play vs. “simulation”, which aims to create a faster-paced game with more big plays. It’s a noticeable difference, and now EA has added development traits like Superstar X Factors and Zone Abilities, which elevate the highest-rated players beyond mere mortals.

From the new Face of the Franchise story mode to the graphic upgrades, I’ll run you through all you need to know about Madden NFL 20.

Gameplay

The biggest difference that will affect every mode is the sweeping changes made to Madden’s ratings. EA drew criticism in the past for big-name players being too easy to replace with lower-rated backups, and tackled that this year by creating a much bigger disparity in the ratings.

The result is that more players are rated in the 60s (out of 99), while many starters don’t even break 80. It can look alarming to longtime Madden players, especially fans of teams who aren’t particularly good, like me (hello, 49ers). Still, players in the mid-to-high 70s don’t feel worse than they did in previous games, though the AI does feel worse in that regard.

As far as the on-the-field action, I love it. With the ball in your hands, everything is smooth. Stick moves feel better than ever, and I’ve noticed many new unique animations in tackles and catches, along with more signature celebrations for star players like Patrick Mahomes (the cover athlete).

On the defensive side of the ball, the on-screen prompts for jumping the snap and rushing the passer have been tweaked. EA changed some of the terminology to make it clearer what types of pass-rush moves you’re using and are appropriate for the situation.

I play on “simulation,” which for some people is too slow, and I get that. Sometimes you just want to sling the ball around, and the “arcade” setting helps with that. More tackles get broken. More balls get intercepted. Stick moves play a huge factor. Throwing motions seem to be faster. Simulation is more methodical, and that leads to fewer bigger plays.

In either setting, I think this year’s game feels great to play. Breaking tackles has never felt better.

Superstar X Factor/Zone Abilities

Here is the big one. Players can now be defined as Superstar or Superstar X Factor. The latter is the highest level of development for a player that includes one game-changing X Factor trait, in addition to multiple lesser Zone Abilities. Players with Superstar development can still earn new Zone Abilities, but not X Factor abilities.

The X Factors require meeting specific criteria to activate, be it completing consecutive passes or defending two passes on one drive. There are many of them in the game, and they’re built into the other modes, including Face of the Franchise and the classic Franchise mode.

The lesser abilities are similar to traits that have been in the game previously, but there are quite a few new ones. Clutch is one example. Before, it was more of a nebulous trait that was harder to define. But now we know exactly what it does and how it’s activated: It kicks in halfway through the fourth quarter in close games and prevents players who are “in the zone” from being knocked out of the zone for the remainder of regulation.

Ben Roethlisberger has Pro Reads X Factor, which highlights the first open receiver. He also has five abilities that make sense if you’re familiar with his style of play. The same is true for several other well-known players. EA did a good breakdown of the many abilities and X Factors earlier.

So how does it affect the game?

I spent a good amount of time trying to determine exactly how the X Factors and abilities can impact a game.

In arcade mode, I noticed X Factor players doing better than the others, but how much of that was simply because they’re rated higher than the rest of the guys on the field?

To test this, I chose Adam Thielen, wide receiver for the Vikings, who comes with the X Factor and abilities listed in the image above. I am targeting Slot-O-Matic, which increases the receiver’s ability to make faster cuts and have better hands on short routes when lined up in the slot.

I then created a new player with the same ratings at Thielen, but without the Superstar X Factor development trait or any extra abilities. I dubbed my creation Tdam Ahielen.

I went into an arcade exhibition game, and ran the same three slot routes (slant, a shallow out with a double move, and a deep cross with a double move) multiple times with each player, and it did feel like Thielen’s cuts were sharper. I can’t say whether or not he caught the ball better, because both receivers caught the passes thrown their way. But his cuts were tighter, especially when reversing direction.

I did the same for Aaron Donald. It seemed — though it’s hard to know for sure — that Donald was beating his man with more regularity than my copycat player with matching stats on both modes.

The Run Pass Option

There are specific playbook additions, like the Philly Special, but there is also an emphasis on the run-pass option in Madden NFL 20. There are more ways than ever to trick a defense, with several new option plays and well-made tutorials explaining how they work and how to identify the defense’s read on the play.

A speedier gameday experience

When you get a game like Madden, the expectation is that you’ll play it off and on until next year’s version comes out. That means the little things that are interesting at first — the stadium presentation, new intros and setups for their “broadcasts,” celebrations, and the like — become repetitive and annoying.

I haven’t spent much time waiting around in Madden NFL 20, and games seem to be moving more quickly. It’s now easier to skip pregame, halftime, and postgame shenanigans.

The biggest difference is when you run the no-huddle offense. Instead of having to watch your players get back into formation, the screen quickly fades out then back in with your team lined up.

Game modes

QB1: Face of the Franchise

The big new mode is Face of the Franchise. It replaces the Longshot story mode from the previous two games. You begin by creating and naming your quarterback, who then joins one of 10 college football teams in the game that EA got the license to.

Then your coach tells you that the top quarterback recruit in the nation just joined the same school. Time jumps forward four years to the College Football Playoff semifinal. Your team is playing and that top recruit is injured. You’re the next man up.

You are joined by star wide receiver Isaiah Streets, whose brother passed away from cancer. He uses that as his motivation, and it’s a theme throughout the story mode.

Early in the story, you meet a little girl named Emily, with the same disease Streets’ brother had, and she asks you to throw four touchdowns in the national championship game. She also asks you what color mane you’d want on your unicorn — pink or purple. I went with pink, but apparently the right answer was neither.

You then play in the semifinal and, presuming you lead the team to a win, the national championship. Your coach gives you a limited playbook, which includes nothing under center (or perhaps that was a function of me picking LSU, I’m not sure).

You are given dialogue choices early on that are usually somewhere between confident and being grateful for the opportunity. My quarterback, named Butts Carlton (because I am a child), was fairly confident and for good reason: I led my team to a national championship and then proceeded to kick ass at the NFL Scouting Combine.

The NFL Combine is where it gets funny (and real)

Where the mode got entertaining is the combine interview process, which was almost too realistic. The first to interview me was someone with the Giants, who basically big-timed me. Then I met with a rep from the Dolphins, who asked to see my cell phone. I gave it to him, and then he berated me for giving my cell phone to a stranger. Fair enough.

Washington’s interviewer was intense. He asked me a hypothetical: if I were on a bus in Alaska driving high speed downhill, would I be in the front or back of the bus? I answered “front,” and he went off on a tirade, asking me if I checked the tire pressure and inspected the engine myself before I got on board. My character was, understandably, confused. The interviewer then implied that such a question is unanswerable, and my character didn’t know how to handle that, either.

I also acquired an agent, who came up to me at the combine and pretty much told me that he’s my agent now. It was entertaining for a bit, but his shtick, as far as I can tell, is that he’s not a very good agent.

The mode is more familiar after the draft

I was eventually drafted by the Miami Dolphins near the end of the first round.

On my way to the team facility, my character encountered an Uber driver who wanted to talk to me about how he played JUCO ball and how the Dolphins really need to fix their offense. I laughed — he was funnier than my agent — and my character shut the door on him when he started to get too enthusiastic about the conversation.

Once you are drafted, you are taken to what is essentially franchise mode, with some added depth. There are engagements to manage and relations to build, including more dialogue choices, texts from reporters and your head coach, and the ultimate goal of building a legacy. After your first year, you get one of four endings depending on how you performed throughout the mode. You can continue after that through the modified franchise mode.

So is Face of the Franchise good?

I found it to be entertaining enough, and much better than Longshot, which was full of cliches and offensive stereotypes (though there are still plenty of cliches in this mode). It’s a mostly fun playthrough with good performances from the voice-actors and effective cutscenes. You shouldn’t buy the game just for this mode, but it’s worth playing.

Ultimate Team

Cards on the table (pun not intended but kept), I’ve never been a fan of Ultimate Team, even though it’s a hugely popular mode.

If you’re unfamiliar, in Ultimate Team, you open card packs and build your roster out of a deck. The cards have limited uses and can be sold/scrapped for currency to buy more packs or increase the abilities of another card. You play football with that lineup, earning more points and currencies. As with all games with microtransaction-based elements, there are several currencies, all of which are used to buy card packs. You get some of them from completing challenges, selling cards, or paying outright for them.

I received a ton of card packs as a result of having a press copy and Origin Access Premier, so I opened 25+ packs (about six of which were 49ers packs). I came out with a team that looks pretty good, but if I didn’t have all those extra packs, I imagine it would look fairly dire. You can see my offense and defense lineups above and below.

The mode seems similar to past games, and it feels like EA is trying to get you to earn currency rather than simply purchase card packs. But of course, the option to purchase is still there, and the fact will always remain that those with deeper pockets can have an advantage in building a more complete team.

There are new “Ultimate Challenges” that replace “Solos,” and they can be played with friends to complete. More rewards are given out for milestones within challenges, unlike previous games where you got nothing if you didn’t complete a (sometimes long) challenge.

EA has also brought over player archetypes from the Franchise mode, allowing you to lightly modify the type of player they are, within the same position group. By changing a linebacker’s archetype from speed rusher to run stopper, the rating adjusts accordingly. There’s enough here to keep the mode fresh.

Franchise

Not much has changed with Franchise.

As you progress through a season, you have all the usual options: building your roster, doing a fantasy draft, playing as an owner and setting concessions prices, importing draft classes, relocating your team, and drafting rookies. With the new development traits and X Factors that you can pick and customize as you acquire and level up players, you have a small added layer of management that helps keep it fresh.

The week-to-week progression is still very much that Franchise mode, and there isn’t a lot else to say about it. I have enjoyed recent Franchise modes, and I enjoy this one.

Online play and exhibition

When you first load up Madden NFL 20, you’re greeted with the 2019 Pro Bowl, which is to help showcase many of the Superstar X Factor traits. It’s a good introduction, and I recommend playing through it rather than quitting out, as some tend to do when they don’t feel like playing the guided tutorial.

There is also Skills Trainer, with effective tutorials of the game’s various systems for both sides of the ball and special teams. It comes with commentary from Jonathan Coachman, and it does a decent job of explaining the many, many mechanics of Madden.

Online play is a major part of Madden and the experience remains relatively unchanged. I played a few online matches against folks who had access to the game pre-release, and I had no connection issues — though as always, your mileage may vary. Last year’s game had some lag problems at launch, and only time will tell if the servers take a beating on launch day again.

Presentation

The presentation of the game is pretty familiar. It’s the same tile-based menus, a couple dozen well-made player likenesses, beautiful renderings of stadiums, a solid soundtrack, official touches from the NFL Network, and good commentary provided by Charles David and Brandon Gaudin.

I am not a lover of commentary, because I play so much that it wears thin, but EA has at least put in the effort. The people who splice audio together for video game commentary are wizards, and it’s never sounded more natural. That said, you’ll hear repeated anecdotes and more cliches than during actual football broadcast.

User interface and graphics

While I think football games lag behind other sports — probably due to larger roster sizes — when it comes to the sharpness of player models, Madden continues to improve its look every year. The animations are more fluid, and the menus are sharp with new font treatments that feel inspired by NFL Films. The PC version, which is the one I played, looks amazing in-game, running at 4K.

What a handsome pass.

There are the usual caveats. Sometimes the menus can be a bit slow to navigate. The newest presentation of the depth chart is particularly awful, though there is a button for automatically optimizing it. Thankfully, the classic way of organizing the depth chart is also available — it’s just not the default.

The menus in general are concise, helpful, and mostly unchanged from last year, save for the colors and fonts. The on-screen tips and prompts when you’re playing — whether it be an explanation of the run-pass option or notifying you of your timing when trying to jump the snap — are all effective.

Player likenesses

It would be cost-prohibitive for EA to model over 1,000 individual players for the game, but it’s jarring when a famous player doesn’t look like himself. It can also be a bummer when several players on the same team have the same player model. Many players choose not to get scanned, but it’s disappointing that EA hasn’t added enough customization options to at least approximate on a more consistent basis.

I’ve picked 3-4 players from each team, and you can see their likenesses in the gallery below. Some are accurate. Some are default models. Some look like somebody tried and gave up.

Performance

For this review, I used the PC version of Madden NFL 20, running on ultra settings, at 4K with HDR (screenshots from this article do not contain the HDR effect). In my experience, it ran great. I’m running a pretty beefy rig that handled the game at a constant 60fps with no noticeable drops, with the lone exception being when the game shifts to certain broadcast-oriented angles, such as the helicopter view of the stadium. For some reason, the frame rate dips bad at that part, same as it did with Madden NFL 19.

Overall, it runs well, load times are speedy off of my SSD, and I experienced no crashes in my time with the game.

I miss when Madden crammed in as much extra nonsense as possible (please come back to us, Rushing Attack). The lack of those fun minigames has made every Madden worse off since EA took them out.

But I do find that the arcade setting, along with the extra abilities and X Factors, combine for a looser experience that fans of the early-aughts releases will appreciate.

Every year we talk about what’s changed and what hasn’t, but lost is the fact that Madden is a complex game. EA put in work to make so many moving parts — everything you’d need to make a realistic football game — feel unique and useful to the player.

There are a lot of mechanics working underneath the surface to make each position feel different to play, and it’s my opinion that those continue to evolve in ways that move the franchise forward.

In true Madden spirit, I’ll once again assign the game an overall rating and give it a slight bump from Madden NFL 19.

Madden NFL 20 Rating: 96 OVR

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doctorshufflepuff · 6 years

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My current relationship with the idea of romance (and tangentially related concerns) - feel free to ignore.

A friend pointed out I should probably do some journaling about this stuff, so here goes.

I like the idea of a romantic relationship. The good parts, the parts you see at the end of movies and in cheesy music videos. I want someone to tell me, “I want to be as close to you as you want me to be, because I like you, because something in you just makes me happy.” And I want to go stargazing with them and go watch the sun set with them and tag them in posts and buy/make them things that remind me of them. I want their eyes to light up when they think of me as much as mine do for them.

And I want to be physically close, too. I want them to spin me around the dance floor or across the living room, to let me dip them and then kiss them. I want to tuck my face in their shoulder when I can’t face the world. I want to curl up and watch a movie with them snuggled up under a pile of blankets. I want to kiss them, gently, on the hand or on the shoulder or on the cheek when they’re not expecting it (with prior permission of course) and watch their eyes go soft. I want to lay my head in their lap while they pet my hair and we talk about stuff. I want them to reach out to me just because they like it when we’re touching.

Additionally. I’m thirsty af, but there’s no way I’ll be able to get nasty with someone before we’re emotionally close, so there’s that.

I want to support them when they need it, and let them support me. I want to be able to talk about heavy topics and actually get somewhere. I want someone who’s a peer, an equal, and I want to be able to be vulnerable with them while still feeling safe.

And I’m scared as all hell.

I’m scared of not being stable or grounded enough to be a decent girlfriend, not being able to give support or even have the time to put into a relationship. I’m scared I’ll put too much of my identity into the relationship, that I won’t have the stability to hold my own self in the midst of trying to be something new with someone else, that I’ll completely fall apart when it ends. I’m scared no one will want this stuff with me instead of with someone better or smarter or funnier or more interesting. I’m scared to get close and then have them realize something or other about me and go, “ew, never mind.” I’m scared of getting hurt, and I’m scared of hurting them.

I’m scared I want these things as proof of my self-worth, not for themselves or for the sake of being happy with another person. That’s the end of the movie, right? That’s when you know you’ve won - the couple kisses, the main plot winds up, and the credits roll. Happy ever after. I’m really worried about this in particular because my crushes all seem to be about the relationship we could have, not about the person themself. How they could make me happy, how I could make them happy (and thus feel good about myself?), how they would fit into the picture in the first few paragraphs, but not actually about them. What kind of partner would I be if I’m just trying to fit them into my narrative? Better avoid the whole thing.

And then again, maybe I’m trying to talk myself out of something I really want because it’s scary. I’ve been known to do that.

Because, it’s not quite true, is it? Bits of my crushes keep showing up in my writing, little markers that don’t mean much to anyone else, but to me combine to be statistically unlikely to reference anyone else. Things like, how a background character likes this, and that, and moves just so - that’s them, whoops. Or, oh, suddenly I’ve got an OC whose past is dedicated to exploring how pain can make you kind because I really really like Amy Pond. I think I do care about people for themselves more than I realize.

Some days I’m hopeful. I can picture myself living for life’s sake, changing arbitrary defaults just because it makes me smile, filling my little universe with plants and fairy lights and faux-leather jackets and workouts that leave me exhausted but grinning. Those are days I can accept that I have value just by being. Those are the days I can picture myself happy without someone else and therefore able to be healthy with someone else.

Ugh, why does my sense of self-worth have to be so tangled up in this? Can’t it just be its own thing? Probably because it’s fundamental, and going to insert itself into every problem I run into until I get it resolved. Except it’s not really going to be a switch I can flip - this is a healing thing that needs time and work that I’m not always brave enough to give it. I can’t put everything on hold until I’m settled, because it’s not something I can count on ever truly settling. I have a college degree to survive (and a life to live) in the meantime goddammit.

Maybe it would be unkind to my partner to have a relationship while I’m this insecure. Probably. I’d have to be really up front about it, at least, but that would happen anyway because I apparently stream-of-consciousness my problems at anyone I’m close enough to. Relationships can be good support while you work on yourselves together, right?

No. I shouldn’t do that to myself, or to them. I need to reach some sort of threshold of improvement first. Even if I’ll still have bad days and can’t really mark this bug as fixed, I have to get to a place with a lot more good days before I drag invite someone else in with me.

Part of me is throwing an absolute fit at that. The child part of my inner monologue sounds something like this: If not now, when? Do I ever get to have another relationship? What if I never get there? My past relationships were pretty darn problematic, do I ever get a good one? It’s not faaaaaair. I’m running out of time on one crush in particular that seemed sorta maybe like it might eventually go somewhere, which is Rare, so what if I miss them and then never see them again? I wanna kiss ’em and hear what they think about everything while we lie awake in the middle of the night! I don’t wanna give up on this person in particular! And, what if I can’t find another person who seems like they might maybe want to date me? What if I’m alone foreeeever?

Okay. Hopefully got that out of my system for the moment.

Clearly there are a few issues with thinking that way - I might not date anyone. Literally ever again. And I want to be okay with that. Yes, the sappy sweet stuff that comes with dating is really appealing and I love the idea of it, and maybe I’ll get there. But I don’t need it. @me did you hear that I don’t need it! I can have a happy, full life with close friends and no significant other. It’s not required. Promise.

And it’s worth waiting for. Having a good handle on my values and my personal value will make any relationship hella more healthy, not to mention happy. For me and for the other person. And in a world with way too many people, there are definitely multiple good ones who are also interested in me. There’s gotta be, right?

As to that particular crush (which is really what this whole thing is about, admit it), I don’t like the answer, which is probably let it go. I just went through more words than are in most of my fics to decide I’m not in a good place to date, dammit. I have to be better friends with them before anything becomes possible anyway. Maybe by then I’ll be doing better. Maybe I won’t. But for now, I need to drop it.

*** Hey reader, if you made it this far, I’m curious what you think. Drop me a pm or shoot me an ask, if you don’t mind. Is there any really obvious doublethink I’m missing? Did you come to the same conclusion I did, or do you think I’m totally wrong (please tell me I’m wrong)?

#please don't reblog this #swearing #shufflepuff speaks

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junker-town · 7 years

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The Adrian Beltre Encyclopedia

This is everything you need to know about the wonderful Adrian Beltre, the newest member of MLB’s 3,000 hit club.

Adrian Beltre is about to reach 3,000 hits in the major leagues (has just reached, etc.), and in celebration of his varied, humorous, and never boring career, it’s time to celebrate all the amazing things that have cemented him as one of the most entertaining people in the league at any given moment.

Whether it’s his phobia of people touching his head (he’s serious guys, stop it!), his defensive prowess on the hot corner year after year, or the spontaneous moments in games and in the dugout that give you insight into his personality, Belter is a non-stop barrel of laughs. Even when he doesn’t mean to be.

To try and get those laughable, unique moments all in one place, this is the Adrian Beltre Encyclopedia.

Anti-Head Touching

This might be one of the most memorable pieces of Beltre’s entire career, and it doesn’t even have anything to do with his on-field achievements. He truly, sincerely, does not like people touching his head.

If you do so, you will set him off with a mini-tantrum of frustration which is truly, sincerely hilarious to everyone involved but him. Baseball is filled with perfectly juvenile behavior whether it be in the clubhouse, on road trips, or on the field. But people touching Beltre’s head might be the best example of this and something that never gets old.

Camera Man Check-In

Back in 2011, Beltre had a three-homer game against the Rays. During his first home run trot around the bases, a TBS cameraman followed him down the third base line to home, carrying his camera to track Beltre’s jog.

And then that cameraman absolutely ate it, breaking parts of his camera in the process. Even though he was mere feet from home, Beltre wasn’t about to let the moment pass without a reaction so he pointed and cracked a smile at the poor bloke laying on the turf. It wasn’t blatantly mean-spirited, which is what makes it a funny moment and not a cruel one.

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Defensive Dives

Yes, his one-knee home runs are fun and all, but Beltre’s defense is the other half of what has secured his longevity in the league thus far and sometimes his work at third is more fun to watch than his hits (sometimes). Whether it’s a diving stop in the infield to keep a runner from advancing or a lunge to the foul line followed by a jaw-dropping throw to first, his amazing skills while manning third base are a consistent reminder of how valuable he is on both sides of the ball.

Death Stares

We’ve established (and will continue to establish) that Beltre’s teammates love messing with him, and that he will flip out if you annoy him in various ways. But there are also moments where he doesn’t go nuts if people are messing around, he will simply bore a hole in your very essence with one of the best death stares in the game.

Fun With Felix

Felix Hernandez and Beltre were teammates for five years, and we’re sure that tons of fun was had between the two during that span. But they’ve only become more entertaining from an outsider’s perspective since Beltre left Seattle, and boy have they had some classic moments over the years.

There was the “oh shit!” home run off of Felix that Beltre couldn’t believe.

There was the time when Beltre lined out right into Felix’s glove and Felix tossed it right back to him as he walked back to the dugout.

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Sometimes the moments aren’t as blink-and-you’ll-miss-them, like the one game where they spent more or less the entire time jawing at each other jokingly back and forth.

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Best Friends Forever!

Elvis Andrus Moments

When Adrian Beltre was traded to the Rangers, he was coming off of a stint in Boston where wide swaths of people seemed to really notice him for the first time. It’s not like he wasn’t a good player during his decade-plus in Los Angeles and Seattle, but it wasn’t the same national Beltre experience as fans know now.

So going to the Rangers, not only were his antics known and recognized, but he found a partner in crime to share his goofs with and we couldn’t be happier this happened.

Elvis Andrus and Beltre have more fun messing with each other on the field than possibly any other combination of players in the league. Even when they look mad at each other, you can tell it’s in a love way like people who have been friends since childhood.

It might happen during a huddle on the mound or a break during an inning, but the best moments between these two are when they goof off while in the process of making plays. I mean, just look at these two and try not to crack a smile.

While there are baseball friendships all across the league, there isn’t one as present on the diamond as this one. Nor one that adds to the entertainment of the game in quite the same way.

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First Base Ump Fun

Beltre is a shrewd strategist sometimes, even when he’s being cheeky about things. One major example of this is his frequent referrals to the first base ump when he checks his swing. By jumping into action before the home plate official can say a word, he tries for the more sympathetic call immediately and hopes to turn things in his favor.

Even when it doesn’t work out though, his eagerness to get an answer from the ump and the way he points down the first base line is a sight to see.

Hitting For The Cycle

Beltre has hit for the cycle three times in his career, once for Seattle and twice for the Rangers. However, the cycle he hit while playing for the Mariners actually happened against the Rangers, in Arlington.

Which means he is the only person in the history of the league to hit for the cycle three times in the same ballpark. He’s only one of four people to hit for the cycle three times, period. And the last person to do that before Beltre completed the feat in 1933.

Just a fun tidbit that allows us to marvel at his sometimes unbelievable skills, which can get lost amongst his shenanigans.

Home Runs From His Knees

This might be his signature move, and one that he can’t even explain with any certainty as to why it happens. In 2016, Beltre attempted to explain the phenomenon to MLB.com saying,

I don't like doing it, but it normally happens on breaking balls -- when I'm trying to fight off a breaking ball. Somehow my knee goes down and I just see the ball and swing. I don't like doing it, I wish I could stop doing. I think it hurts me more than it helps me. Sometimes when I go to one knee I think that I could've hit the ball better if I didn't. But it happens and it's just reaction. I've been doing it too long to change now.

Good thing he can’t really fix that, as it’s incredible to watch every single time he pulls it off.

Trying to figure out how he is able to generate that type of power from one knee, and the quickness with which he pivots to the ground, is remarkable to say the least.

Listed Age

Beltre was the weirdo prospect who was actually younger than his listed age.

Boras eventually got Major League Baseball to review the case and after a lengthy investigation, they determined that the Dodgers in fact had signed Beltre when he was 15. The signing age for international amateurs is 16.

The Dodgers fudged his age in reverse, and they got slapped with a bunch of penalties for it. Only Adrian Beltre can show up to his major league debut and well-actually Scott Boras about his age.

On-Deck Circles

Adrian Beltre likes his on-deck circles where he likes his on-deck circles. When an ump asks him to move from the spot where he is warming up to the designated on-deck area, he decides: “Nah.”

So he slides the on-deck circle to where he’d like it to be instead of just acquiescing, and gets promptly ejected.

Has there ever been a more perfect distillation of who Adrian Beltre is as a baseball player and a person? Maybe. Has there ever been a funnier distillation of who Adrian Beltre is as a baseball player and a person? Not even close.

Popup Fakeouts

This mostly has to do with his Andrus bond, but Beltre has never met an easy popup he couldn’t exploit for his own benefit. It’s usually just distracting enough to be funny but not dangerous, and Beltre enjoys doing it so dang much it’s hard not to appreciate the joke along with him.

Raising His Son Right

This is pretty self explanatory in that his son, Adrian Beltre Jr., is not only adorable but is mimicking his father as he grows up just like many kids do. However it’s better than a normal kid specifically because his dad is Adrian Beltre.

Beltre Jr. has mimicked his dad’s swing pre-game (and hit some bombs while he was at it!), taken part in some pretty intense games of father-son catch where he showed off some serious sidearm toss skills, and just been an all around mini-me to his dad. With Beltre being such a character, we would be remiss if we didn’t hope for that trend to keep going and the world to grant us another baseball Beltre.

Ridiculous Base Path Running

I mean...he’s the best. How can you not enjoy this.

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Or this.

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What a goof.

Slow Dribblers

He has no patience for them. Who does? Those balls that come rolling through the infield moving slower than molasses, causing nothing but frustration and letting people reach base every time.

So in the face of slow dribblers, Beltre will not stand for their shenanigans and takes things into his own hands. Like when he tried to surreptitiously kick one foul rather than even making a play. It totally could have worked!

Torn Testicle

Once, Adrian Beltre tore a testicle after a ball hit him right in the...well...testicle. He stayed in the game for the duration, and then afterwards checked things out and said that his testicle was the size of a grapefruit. Later he confirmed that it took two whole weeks for it to shrink back to its normal size (he was put on the 15-day disabled list at the time).

Media reports at the time described it as “severely bruised” and surgery was even considered to get things back as they are supposed to be down there, to put it gently.

But staying in the game and talking openly about the severity of his testicle issues wasn’t even the most Beltre part of this, that would be the fact that after the incident he continued to refrain from wearing a protective cup.

At the time he said it was uncomfortable and he doesn’t like it, but a shot to that area would surely change a normal person’s mind after the fact right? A normal person, sure. But Beltre is beautifully not-normal so he wore one while he healed up and then it was back to the cup-less life.

Tossing His Glove

We’ve already noted here that Beltre loves messing with people, but doesn’t always like being messed with. This is a subset of those fun and games that also happens to be something little league parents scold their kids about.

Yet Beltre does it because everyone gets bored sometimes out on the field, it’s just that 99.9% of major leaguers hide it better than he does. Nothing bad happens because he wants to toss his glove above his head as a line drive sails over him, it won’t come close to interfering and to him it’s hilarious.

Tossing His Glove (subset: Angrily)

There have also been times when tossing his glove has stemmed not from joy and goofiness but from annoyance - at a ball or at a team member. There was the time that Elvis Andrus touched his head (again) during a meeting at the mound and Beltre promptly turned around and hucked his glove right at him as Andrus hustled out of there.

Or the time when a ground ball passed him at third and rather than diving for a play that would have been impossible to make even if he could reach the ball, he just threw his glove at it and watched it bounce right by. Who among us?

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