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addictedtostorytelling · 10 days

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hi aj! still on my rewatch (slowly but surely) and i reached 9.01. i noticed that when grissom hears on the police radio that warrick was shot he was actually buying a traveller magazine and wonder if he had been thinking of joining sara then. do you think that he would have reached that point even if they hadn’t lost warrick? i feel like his death is the first trigger to grissom deciding to retire. thanks so much for all your patience in answering these! have a great week 🤍

hi, rewatch anon!

good to hear from you again!

so i have a much longer, more detailed post outlining what i think grissom's state of mind re: following sara is between s8 and s9 which you can read here, if you're interested.

but the tl; dr version is that i think while the grissom of episode 09x01 "for warrick" may well have sara on the brain when he picks up the traveller magazine—he may be thinking of her travels and/or be considering going to visit her wherever she is and/or be mulling going on a vacation with her—for my money, he is not yet consciously considering leaving vegas to be with her (or at least not on a permanent basis) for two main reasons.

the first reason why he isn't ready to follow sara during s8 is because he feels that maybe her having some time away from him is "for the best."

as i talk about in this post,

remember: [in s8,] sara has just walked out on him, and for as much as her reasons for doing so have everything to do with her mental health and nothing to do with a lack of love for or desire to hurt him, the bottom line is that her decision isn’t one made in a vacuum; regardless of her intentions, her leaving (and especially so abruptly) does cause him pain and stoke his fears that he doesn’t fulfill her needs. he is left wondering if she could have stayed were he a better partner to her—more attentive, more experienced in love, less “in his own head.” those emotional wounds and self-doubts carry with him the whole time she’s gone, and they definitely figure in to why he doesn’t immediately go chasing after her.

his (flawed) inference is that if he had been providing sara with everything she needed from him emotionally, she wouldn't ever have left las vegas to begin with, so maybe it's best if he—and all of his emotional obtuseness—steer clear of her for the time being while she figures things out and seeks the support she needs elsewhere.

the last thing he wants in the world is to get in the way of her recovery, you know?

his second reason also ties in with the first:

he isn't prepared to follow sara yet because he is somewhat hopeful there ultimately is no need for him to do so.

because he and sara are still in regular phone contact at that time (see episodes 08x08 "you kill me" and 08x12 "grissom's divine comedy"), he has some sense that sara is not completely cut off from him and their life together in vegas; he feels as if that door is still open, at least a crack, and he is as optimistic as a realist/pessimist like him can be that she will eventually walk through it and return to him, once she has sufficiently recovered her mental health.

his plan is to honor her wishes by staying in vegas himself, giving her the time and space she needs to pursue healing, patiently waiting until she is ready to finally return home to him.

though of course he does have fears that maybe she might decide to stay away permanently—after all, it wouldn't be grissom if he didn't struggle to believe in his own lovability—between his own fears regarding his "unworthiness" and his cautious hopes that sara just needs to recalibrate before she is ready to come back to him, he remains firmly planted in vegas for the six months she is away (between november '07 and may '08).

the way i see things, it isn't until after sara's second departure from vegas in s9 that he really starts to consider following her into "the great unknown," not only because he has a sense that, at that point, her absence from sin city is more permanent but also because, as you mention, by then he is himself becoming burnt out on his job and bears some deep wounds from warrick's death which also contribute to his readiness to leave.

as i talk about here,

[by s9,] grissom is a man on the brink. ever since sara left vegas in s8, grissom has missed her terribly and been struggling with depression. the lab, which was once his safe place, his “well-ordered kingdom” in an otherwise chaotic world, has become increasingly strange and unwelcoming to him, and particularly as the team has changed, with sara’s departure (which sparked the beginning of the end), warrick’s death (which has been, in itself, another huge and devastating blow), and riley’s addition (which has proven to grissom that things will never be the same again as they were before). add in the extra heartbreak of sara returning briefly to vegas for warrick’s funeral, spending four months in town, and then suddenly leaving again without even saying goodbye—plus the fact that grissom feels as if he may have truly lost her this time around, given his unwillingness to follow her into the unknown—and you’ve got a grissom who is one step away from completely falling apart. whereas he once took satisfaction and even comfort in his job, nowadays the cases he investigates horrify and disturb him. he’s lost his appetite. he’s having nightmares. he can barely sleep. barely think. one of the worst parts to all of this is that he is without his usual support system: normally, when he needs comfort, encouragement, and understanding, he turns to sara, but he can’t do that now, not with her gone. what’s more: he is almost haunted by sara’s absence. she was at the heart of both his work and his home life. she was his partner, his right hand, his roommate, his confidante, his support system,his best friend, his lover, his spouse, and his whole world. every place he goes reminds him of her in some way, from their condo (which now feels impossibly empty in her absence), to the lab, to different places around the city where they’ve investigated crimes. hell, he can’t even sleep without dreaming about her—about how he’s lost her. she’s everywhere to him and yet nowhere, and he can’t seem to focus on anything aside from the terrible ache in his chest from missing her so much. that’s the mental space that grissom is in going into episode 09x05 “leave out all the rest”—and then the episode starts with sara finally contacting him, after so many months of radio silence, only to break up with him via video email, telling him not to worry about her anymore and acting like what they’ve had is ~over, even though, for him, it very much isn’t. that is the final blow—the thing that pushes him to the absolute brink of his ability to cope.

so, ultimately, it isn't just one factor that brings grissom to the point where he is ready to leave town but rather a concatenation of them.

outside of missing sara, he is also becoming increasingly horrified by the human depravity he witnesses night in and night out on his job (see, for example, his reaction to the case in episode 09x06 "say uncle") and increasingly unsatisfied with the changes to his work life and team (including the losses of both sara and warrick and the addition of riley adams to the graveyard shift).

warrick's death likewise weighs on him.

heavily.

as i talk about here,

obviously, when warrick dies, it’s devastating for grissom, not only because he holds warrick in his arms as it happens but because he loved warrick so deeply. for as much as grissom’s s9 depression is a product of him missing and being heartbroken over sara, it also is a product of his grief over warrick—and i honestly think that had warrick not died at that time, grissom probably would have taken longer to decide to leave the lab than he does in canon; warrick’s death just shuts the door on that chapter of his life in a very final kind of way. he never truly gets over it.

between all of the above stressors, grissom eventually finds that not only is he willing to leave las vegas but he's ready to.

in the past, clinging to his job had always been "enough" for him, but now he finds he does not take the same pleasure in his work as he formerly did and he needs more—a change of scene and venue, new endeavors in which to invest himself, and, most importantly, human connection; specifically, with the love of his life, sara.

as stated above, i do think that had warrick not died at the start of s9, grissom may have taken longer to eventually reach that breaking point, not only because then sara would not have returned to vegas at the start of s9 only to leave again, shattering grissom's illusions that she might eventually come home for good in the process, but also because he wouldn't have been half as miserable at the lab in that case as he ultimately became in canon.

had warrick still been around, he could have probably mollified himself for somewhat longer; kept convincing himself, "i don't need to come to her. she'll eventually come back to me. everything'll be fine. i just need to keep my head down and do my work in the meanwhile—"

that said, i do believe that grissom still would have ultimately arrived at a point where the center could not hold—where it became apparent to him that he just couldn't be satisfied living his life without sara (even for the sake of his work).

even before grissom was ready to follow her in s8, he was still uncomfortable in her absence and longed to be near her again, and that discomfort and longing only would have grown the longer that she stayed away.

though i can't say exactly when, i am sure there would have someday (probably sooner rather than later) come a time when grissom couldn't stand to live apart from his one true love anymore, even if warrick hadn't died.

so if she hadn't been willing to come home to him*, then he would have eventually gone out to her.

* and who knows? maybe if warrick hadn't died, sara might have eventually come back to vegas of her own volition (to stay) once she was ready. after all, she does eventually move back there and even resume working at the lab come s10, so obviously that development isn't outside of the realm of possibility for her.

anyway.

those are my takes.

thanks for the questions! please feel welcome to send more any time.

#answered #anon #asks: csi #**#my meta #meta: csi #meta: grissom #season eight #season nine #hypothetical scenario #csiverse #let's talk shop

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lonelywoodlouse · 8 months

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“My granny used to post things on tumblr” doctor who writers you severely underestimated how this hellsite would refuse to die

#also struggling how with the ages work #doctor who #season eight #kill the moon #the twelfth doctor #clara oswald

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freckleslikestars · 2 years

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Telling Mom

Follow up to A Shoulder to Cry On - I’d recommend reading it, but it’s not 100% imperitive. Scully tells her mom about her pregnancy and Mulder’s disappearance after the rather awful date Maggie sends her on.

@xfilesbingo prompt: Maggie Scully

Rating T, implied MSR

1930 words, read here on AO3

She felt sick as she sat in her car outside her mom’s house, trying to figure out how she was going to explain everything she’d been hiding. She desperately didn’t want to go in there, didn’t want to see her mother’s disappointment. But she’d called earlier in the day and asked how the date went, suggested they discuss it over dinner. And she couldn’t exactly decline.

She was going to have to do it at some point, she knew; couldn’t exactly hide a baby forever. But, God, she had hoped she could put it off for a few more weeks at least, maybe another month or so. She shook her head and took a deep breath before turning the ignition off and stepping out of the car, looking up at her mother’s house with a sense of dread. It had always exuded a warmth that made her feel safe, but now...scared maybe wasn’t the word for it, but she certainly wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation about to take place.

Ten steps up the front path, and she was knocking on the door; fists balled tightly at her sides as her heart pounded with anxiety. The door was pulled open, warm light spilling out and her mother smiling down at her, ‘Dana, come in, come in.’

‘Hi, mom,’ she gave a weak smile, followed her through to the kitchen, ‘how’s your week been?’

Her mother started puttering around, laying the kitchen table and removing a casserole from the oven, pouring two glasses of red wine and serving two portions, ‘oh, so-so. Bill rang; he’s being deployed again, so he was thinking I might like to spend a couple months in San Diego helping Tara with Matty and the new baby. You have got time off to go visit them when the baby’s born, haven’t you?’

Crap. She’d forgotten about the impending arrival of a new niece or nephew, ‘I, uh...no. Things have been...I’ve been dealing with some things, and it completely slipped my mind. Sorry.’

‘Well, I’m sure you can talk to Fox about covering for you so you can take a week or two off; heaven knows you work hard enough to deserve it.’

Her chest tightened, and she croaked out a quiet ‘Mom, I-‘

‘Now, tell me about Thursday night. How was it? Were you nice?’

‘Mom-‘

‘Dana, please tell me you were nice to him?’

She cringed, nodded half-heartedly, picking at a dinner roll, ‘yeah, I was nice, but it’s not going anywhere.’

Her mother gave an exasperated, disappointed sigh, ‘did you even try?’

She swallowed, shook her head, ‘no, Mom. I didn’t try. He’s a nice guy, but he’s not-‘ he’s not Mulder, ‘he’s not for me.’ She took a breath, ‘Mom, I have to talk to you about something. Something important. And I need you not to interrupt, and I need you to accept what I’m going to say without overreacting,’ her voice quavered slightly, and she stood up to pour herself a glass of water, keeping her back to her mother and her fist clenched on the edge of the counter. ‘I...’ she hesitated, inhaling sharply, ‘I’m pregnant. And I’ve known for about a month now, and I wanted to tell you, I did, but...I just didn’t know how to. I mean...we didn’t even think it could happen, all the doctors said it couldn’t, but it did, and I was in the hospital for about a week, and I wanted to tell you then, but I also wanted to be sure, because it’s impossible. And then...I just couldn’t.’

She jumped when her mother’s hand covered her own, ‘that’s wonderful news, Dana.’ Scully nodded, the floodgates breaking as she dissolved into sobs. ‘Oh, come here, Darling,’ she was engulfed in her mother’s arms, shaking violently with her tears, ‘what’s the matter, Baby?’

‘Mulder’s missing,’ she cried into Maggie’s shoulder, ‘and everyone thinks he’s dead, and he can’t be, he can’t be dead because I never even got to tell him, and we tried so hard, and I don’t know how to do this alone.’

‘Oh, Dana,’ she sighed, combing her fingers through her daughter’s hair, ‘Sweetheart, what do you mean, missing?’

‘They took him, Mom. They took him like they took me,’ another wave of sobs wracked through her, ‘I was supposed to be with him, and I wasn’t, and-‘

She cupped her daughter’s cheek, and kissed her crumpled brow, ‘it’s going to be okay, Honey.’

‘I don’t know what to do.’

‘Well, why don’t we start by putting the kettle on? We’ll have a cup of tea, and maybe things will look a little better.’

She gave a wet, garbled chuckle and snuffled noisily, ‘I’ve been trying that for a month, and it’s not worked.’

Maggie gave a sympathetic smile and tucked a strand of fiery hair behind her ear, ‘it won’t be a miracle cure, I’ll give you that, but at least it will calm you down,’ she released her and started bustling around the kitchen, filling the kettle and covering over the abandoned casserole. A tub of rocky road ice cream was dug out from the back of the freezer, and two spoons were fetched, whilst she told Dana to choose a mug and tea from the cupboard. By the time their tea was steeping, they’d settled on the couch with the tub of ice cream balanced between them, and Maggie was studying her daughter’s profile as she dug into the tub. ‘There’s something else bothering you.’

‘Isn’t Mulder being missing and being pregnant enough?’ she grumbled.

‘Yes, it’s more than enough to deal with. But there’s something else on your mind.’

‘No.’

She gave a weary sigh, ‘don’t lie to me, Dana. What’s wrong?’ She mumbled something Maggie couldn’t hear. ‘Speak up, or I can’t help.’

‘You’re disappointed in me.’

‘What? Why would I be disappointed in you, Dana?’

Scully gave a non-committal shrug and cringed in on herself, not meeting her mother’s eye, ‘because. Because I’m pregnant and unmarried, and I’m gonna end up a single mom, and I didn’t tell you, and I didn’t tell you about Mulder and I and-‘

‘Dana, do you really think I care?’

‘What?’

‘Do you really think I care that you’re not married?’

‘But...I thought-‘

‘You thought what? That you’d turn up on my doorstep, pregnant and unmarried, and I’d, what, disown you?’ she shrugged, and Maggie sighed, ‘I don’t know. Maybe...maybe if I hadn’t lost so many of my children already, maybe if you were younger and it had come out of nowhere, I would have been angry. Yes, maybe even disappointed. But you’re thirty-six, Dana. You’re having a child with a man with whom you’ve been very close for seven years.’ She took a long sip of her tea, furrowed her brow as she tried to formulate what she wanted to say, ‘Dana, you have been through so much hardship these past years. If this is what you want, I’d never be disappointed in you for it.’

‘What if Mulder’s never returned?’

She took her daughter’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, ‘you were returned to us. I’m sure Mulder will be too.’

‘I don’t think it’s the same, Mom.’

‘Well, in that case, if he isn’t returned, you just have to keep going. Day by day until it gets a little easier. You keep going because your child needs you to. You forget that much of your childhood I spent worrying that your father wouldn’t come home to us. We’d have months of radio silence when we’d never hear anything, and every news report of something happening at sea would haunt me until I heard from him. It won’t be easy, but that’s what you’ve got me for. Tara, too, understands. It’s not exactly the same, but we’ve got enough experience of our husbands being away for extended periods with no contact that we can empathise.’

‘Thank you, mom.’

‘That’s quite all right. I promise, Dana, that whatever happens, I’m not disappointed in you.’ She dropped her head to her mother’s shoulder and tried to stifle a yawn. ‘I don’t want you driving home tonight, Sweetheart. Stay here, and I’ll make you pancakes for breakfast tomorrow. How does that sound?’

‘It sounds really good, Mom, but I’ve got work tomorrow. I’m flying out to Utah to consult with the local coroner. I’d have to leave here at five to go back to my apartment, get my bag and get to the airport on time.’

‘I don’t mind waking early. I’ve been meaning to bake some brioche anyway, and it needs quite a long time to prove, so it’ll be good to start it early.’

‘Mom, no, you don’t want to be awake and making pancakes at half four. I’m okay to drive, really.’

‘I’ve said no, Dana. You’re staying here. If you want, I’ll call you a cab to take you to the airport tomorrow, and I’m sure there are enough clothes that you’ve left over here to make up a couple of days’ worth of outfits at least.’

Her eyes were drooping as she yawned again and she felt herself relenting, ‘sure. I guess a little bit later of a start, and a couple of pancakes won’t hurt anybody.’

Maggie gave a satisfied hum, ‘I’ll go up and put some fresh sheets on your bed and dig you out a suitcase.’

By the time she returned downstairs, Dana was fast asleep on the couch, curled in on herself and snoring lightly. Not having the heart to wake her, she tucked a blanket over her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, dimmed the lights and tidied up around her, tea mugs in the sink and melting ice cream in the freezer, the untouched casserole wrapped with clingfilm and stored in the fridge for tomorrow, before she headed up to bed herself.

She woke, three hours later, to her daughter’s anguished screams, her partner’s name on her lips as she sobbed. For the first time in years, Maggie Scully ushered her daughter into her bed and held her as she cried herself to sleep. She woke, not long after that, to Dana stumbling from bed, stubbing her toe as she tripped her way to the en suite, purging her stomach of its meagre contents. After a glance at the clock, she followed suit, kneeling at her daughter’s side, holding her hair back and rubbing soothingly up and down her spine.

‘Is it really wise to go to Utah when you’re feeling like this, Honey?’ she asked as Dana slumped back into her with a groan.

‘I’ll be fine after I’ve eaten something. Besides, they’re expecting me and I need to keep working. If I stop, I don’t know what will happen.’

‘I have a bad feeling about it, Dana, that’s all.’

‘I’ll be fine, Mom. What time is it?’

‘Ten to four. Do you want to sleep or do you want to shower whilst I go down and start on pancakes?’

Her stomach gurgled and she chuckled, ‘pancakes sound really good.’

‘Okay. You go and fetch some clothes from your room, and I’ll bring you a towel, and when you’re ready there will be pancakes waiting for you.’

She held herself still for a moment after her mom helped her up, waiting just in case another wave of nausea hit, sighing with relief when it didn’t. She looked up as Maggie was leaving, ‘Mom?’

‘Yes?’

‘Thank you. For everything.’

Maggie just smiled, ‘that’s what I’m here for, Darling.’

tagging @today-in-fic

#my writing #xf fanfic #txf #x files #msr #season eight #season 8 #kinda a pre-ep for roadrunners #this is just me projecting my need for a forgiving mother figure on Maggie Scully #maggie scully

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woods2006gal · 1 month

Text

Chapter 09 - Torn and Frayed

Addison yawns as she climbs out of the Impala. Dean had driven nonstop to Sam’s motel room in Kermit. She didn’t know what had transpired while she had been asleep, only that Dean said that they were going to tell Sam what happened to Martin. Dean steps in front of her before they reach the motel room. “Let me do the talking,” Dean quietly tells her.

“Dean,” Addison begins.

“Addison, just this once let me do all the talking. In fact, you should stay in the Impala.”

Normally, Addison would argue with him. She hated being left behind. But Dean never called her by her full name, unless he was annoyed with her. There was something in his eyes, that was asking her to stay back. She nods. Addison climbs into the Impala and watches as Dean walks up to Sam’s motel room. She grabs a book out of her bag and a flashlight.

A short while later, Dean climbs back into the Impala and they’re speeding off into the night. Addison doesn’t look up from the pages detailing Claire Fraser’s attempt to get Jamie Fraser of out of a French prison. “Benny saved my life,” she softly says, breaking the silence that had settled over them. “Benny saved my life and helped us get home. Sam…Sam is family. I mean, you two have literally been to Hell for each other.”

Dean glances at her. “I know.”

Addison finally looks up from her book. “Then why are you letting Sam be pissed at you for something I did?”

“Because I would’ve done the same exact thing.”

Addison sets her book and flashlight down. She slides across the seat. He drapes an arm over her shoulder and a comfortable silence settles down over them as the Impala speeds down the dark highway.

~*~

A buzzing noise tears Addison’s attention from the battle of Culloden. She looks over to her right and finds her phone buzzing on the nightstand. Sam’s name was flashing across the screen. She sits up and grabs her phone. “Sam,” she cautiously greets. She wasn’t sure if Sam was calling to argue with her or not.

“You and Dean are married,” Sam angrily says.

Addison humorlessly laughs. “That’s not funny, Sam. Look, I know that you’re not happy about the whole thing with Benny—”

“Dean keeps your marriage license in the bottom of his toolbox,” Sam coldly interrupts. Addison freezes. He was being serious. “There’s a false bottom. That’s where it is.”

Sam hangs up and Addison stares at her phone. She glances in the direction of the bathroom, where Dean was in the shower. She bites her lip. There was only one way to know if Sam was telling the truth or not. Slipping on her Converses and grabbing the Impala’s keys off the small table, Addison makes her way outside.

Dean turns off the shower and steps out. He had been replying the argument he had with Sam. Before they had never let past or present relationships come in between them. But Sam had chosen Amelia over searching for him and Addison while they were in Purgatory. And Dean was choosing to put Addison first, to protect her. He grabs the towel and dries his face and hair off before wrapping it around his waist. He walks out of the bathroom and stops. His tools were spread out over the extra bed. Addison was sitting on their bed. She turns and he notices the paper in her hand. “Fucking Sam,” he mutters.

“This…this isn’t legal,” Addison states, voice trembling. “We…we were super drunk and an Elvis impersonator can’t legally marry us. You have to go to the county and do a shit ton of paper work.”

Dean sighs. “This one did.”

Addison stares at him. “What are you talking about? You said you talked to the guy and that he said it wasn’t legal.”

“I lied. This Elvis asshat worked for the county. When couples would go in, he would do an actual marriage license. Not some fake bullshit. The real deal.”

Addison buries her face in her hands. “Oh my god,” she mutters.

Dean sits down next to her. He gently pulls the license out of her hands and sets it on top of his tools. “Ads, it doesn’t change anything.”

“Dean, it changes everything,” Addison exclaims.

Dean takes a deep breath. He hated the chick flick moments. “Doesn’t change how I feel. I love you. That’s all the matters.”

Addison stares at him. She sighs. “I just…we could been together this entire time and we weren’t. I just feel like an ass.”

Dean shrugs. “Timing wasn’t right. Now it’s right.”

She places a hand on his cheek, feeling the permanent five o’clock shadow he kept and softly kisses him. “I love you too. For the record, you owe me a honeymoon.”

~*~

Dean was asleep on the couch when Castiel appears in the living of Rufus’s cabin. Feeling someone else in the room, he wakes with a start. The beer in his hand spills. “Damn it, Cas,” he snaps, sitting up. He shakes the beer off of his hand and sits the bottle on the coffee table. “How many fucking times I got to tell you…it’s just creepy!”

Dean notices a piece of paper on the table. Went for run. Have phone. Ads.

“Dean, I need your help,” Castiel says. “The angel Samandirel—”

Dean frowns. “Sam—”

“He’s been taken.”

“You mean Alfie, the weiner on a stick kid?”

“Yes. I, uh, I heard his distress call this morning.”

“On what, angel radio? I thought you shut that down.”

“Well, my penance, it’s going well and I thought it was time to turn it back on. I’ve, uh, been helping people, Dean.”

“Well, good for you. All right. So, what snatched Heaven’s most adorable angel?”

“Crowley.”

Dean runs a hand over his face. “I’m listening.”

“Samandiriel is being held in the general vicinity of Hastings, Nebraska.”

Dean shoots the angel a disbelieving look. “The general vicinity? That’s all you got?”

“Yes, which is why I need your help. It seems this gonna involve...talking to people.”

“Come on, Cas, I thought you were a hunter now.”

“Well, I thought so too, but...It seems I - I lack a certain—”

“Skill?” Castiel nods. Dean grabs Addison’s laptop off the coffee table and opens it up. A gong noise comes from the speakers and he quickly slams it shut. He glances at the angel. “You saw nothing.” Dean opens the computer and covers the screen as he quickly minimizes the page. He opens up a new page. “All right. What am I looking for?”

“Well, when you torture an angel, it screams and that kind of pain, it creates a ripple effect of strange incidents,” Castiel explains. He looks around the cabin. “Where’s Sam?”

“Sam’s gone. It’s just me and Ads. It’s all right. We’ll, uh, find Alfie ourselves.”

The cabin door opens and Addison walks in. She looks between the angel and her husband. “I’ll get cleaned up and then someone can fill me in.”

~*~

Addison and Dean walk through the hospital, with Castiel following them, heading towards the room of a man who claimed that a bush talked to him before bursting into fire. Despite the fact that they were trying to find an angel, Addison’s mind was on the fact that her and Dean were actually married. Full blown legally married. And had been for such a long time. “Mr Hinckley,” Dean asks, knocking on the door frame of a room. Addison follows him into the room to see a man lying in the bed with his face burned and bandaged. “Hi, we’re from the, uh, Geneva Gazette. We wanted to ask you a few questions about your ambush.” Dean chuckles and Addison sends him an unamused look.

“Yeah, well, I’d laugh too if it didn’t feel like the sun just ate my face,” Mr. Hinckley replies.

“It’s a metaphor,” Castiel says from Dean’s other side.

Dean stares at the angel, then turns to Mr. Hinckley. “Sorry. Uh, now, in the police report it said that the, uh, the bush, it talked to you, yeah?

Mr. Hinckley sighs. “Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but, yeah.”

“When the bush spoke to you, Mr. Hinckley, what did it say,” Addison softly asks.

“No clue. Sounded like Klingon to me.”

“Can you tell us those exact words?”

“Are you serious?”

Addison smiles. “Very.”

Mr. Hinckley looks over to Dean. “As much as you can remember, Mr. Hinckley.”

Mr. Hinckley sighs once more. “Sounded something like…sol-voch. Yeah. Sol-voch-tay.”

“Thank you,” Addison tells him, then walks out of the room with Dean and Castiel behind her.

“Well, what do you think,” Dean asks Castiel as they head down the hospital hallway. “Mean anything to you?”

“Yes. It’s Enochian. It means obey,” Castiel explains.

“Obey what,” Addison questions.

“I don’t know. But the amount of pain an angel must be in not just to manifest through shrubbery but to burn…Dean…we have to find him before it’s too late.”

Dean exchanges a look with Addison. “Okay. Okay, well, look, a sign like that…Alfie can’t be too far, right? So, we’ll just start at the bush and work our way out.”

Castiel stares at him. “And look for what exactly? Crowley could have him anywhere.”

“Well, we if know Crowley,” Addison begins. "And we know, the place will be crawling with demons. So, maybe just we just drive until they pop out.”

~*~

Addison yawns as the Impala comes to a stop. Three homeless men were standing next to a gallon drum, warming their hands. “Wow, will you look at that,” Dean remarks, running a hand over his tired face. They had spent all day driving around, looking to see if Crowley’s demons would make an appearance. “Our ninth abandoned factory. Ain’t that America? Hey, what do you say, this doesn't pan out, we head back to that beer and bacon happy hour about a mile back, huh?”

“I could really go for a glass of wine,” Addison tells him. “So, no arguments from me.”

“Wait a minute, Dean. Those derelicts, they’re demons. I can see their true faces,” Castiel says.

Dean grabs the binoculars off the seat next to him. “Crowley’s got that many hell monkeys outside, he’s got to have at least double inside.”

“And angel warding. I can feel it."

“Well, you, me, Ads, and a demon knife ain’t gonna cut it.”

“Okay. I’ll get Sam.”

“No,” Dean snaps. “We don’t need Sam.”

“But you just said—”

“Look, if Sam wanted in, he’d be here, okay? I got a better idea.”

~*~

Dean’s idea was to pay a visit to Kevin, who was hiding out on Garth’s houseboat. Luckily, the drive wasn’t long. Addison looks around the houseboat. Pages were stuck to the walls. Symbols were painted all over the walls. “Slow read,” Dean asks.

Kevin was sitting at the table with the demon tablet and a notebook in front of him. “Slowest.”

Addison frowns. “Where’s Garth?”

“Supply run? I don’t know. Sort of lost track of when he comes and goes. You guys need help with something? I’m working here.”

“You look horrible,” Castiel states.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Dean nods in agreement. “He's right. Are you okay, Kevin?”

Kevin lets out an annoyed breath. “Fine,” he tells them. Addison exchanges a look with Dean. He was not fine. “I’m just…in them middle of this.”

“Are you having any luck,” Addison asks, walking over to the table. She looks between the demon tablet and Kevin's notebook.

“Interpreting half a demon tablet? No, I got nothing.”

“All right, well, buck up,” Dean tells him. “Cause, uh, we need some more of that demon TNT ASAP.”

Kevin looks between the three of them. “You used it all?!”

“Yeah, so let’s whip up another batch.”

“Sure. West Bank witch hazel, skull of an Egyptian calf, the tail of some random ass newt that may or may not be extinct—”

“Kevin,” Addison interrupts. “Look, we know that you can’t just buy the ingredients from Wal-Mart. Okay.”

“That’s just the first three ingredients.”

“Give me the list,” Castiel says. “I’ll get what we need.”

Dean smirks. “Huh.” Kevin stares at him for a moment, then walks over to the table and starts making the list for Castiel. Addison turns to Dean. “What?”

“I didn't say anything,” Addison counters.

“Bullshit. You gave me that look.”

“What look?”

“You-you know…the look.”

“No, I don’t.”

“The don’t-be-an-asshole look. I wasn’t being an asshole.” Addison stares at him. Dean throws his hands up and walks out of the houseboat.

Kevin hands the list toe Castiel and the angel vanishes with a flutter. Addison turns to the young prophet. "Get some rest,” she tells him.

~*~

Addison glances over the top of her book. Since Castiel left, she had grabbed her book from the Impala and became immersed in Claire leaving Jamie before the Battle of Culloden. “Dean, stop,” she tells him. “You're making me dizzy.”

Dean had taken to pacing around the houseboat. “I mean, come on. How long’s it take to get a calf skull from Egypt?” He walks over to Kevin, who had chosen to continue translating the demon tablet instead of getting the rest that Addison told him to get. Dean snaps his fingers next to Kevin's ear. Kevin had put on a pair of headphones while he was working. “Kevin. Kevin. You're mom’s hot. I’m serious, your mom is one sexy—”

“Dean,” Addison snaps. Her phone buzzes and she pulls it out of her pocket. Benny’s name was on the screen. Dean walks over and grabs the phone from her hand. “Dude!”

“I thought I told you to go underground,” Dean greets.

“I am so far underground, I’m breathing through a straw, brother,” Benny replies. “Uh, look, what happened with your friend Martin back there, it wasn’t supposed to go down that way.”

“I know. Your granddaughter told me.”

“Yeah. I hate to ask you and Addison for much else, but I don’t supposed there’s any change you’re anywhere near the Catskills?”

“We’re working a case on the other side of the country. Why? What’s up?”

Addison stands up and walks over to Dean. “Is Benny okay?”

“Yeah, just hitting a little rough patch, I guess. You know, doing this whole solo thing,” Benny tells him.

Dean sighs. “Benny, one day at a time, man.”

“You know what? Uh, a cup of coffee sure would do me good.”

Dean tightens his grip on Addison’s phone. He hoped that the vampire wasn’t talking about having some of Addison’s blood. “All right, as soon as I’m done with this case. I’ll, uh, I’ll be there, okay?”

“Yeah. All right, brother. Thank you.”

Dean hangs up and holds out the phone to Addison. “Is Benny okay,” she repeats, taking her phone from him.

“He’s fine,” Dean tells her, then walks over to Kevin. Addison’t didn’t believe him. Dean taps one of Kevin’s headphones. “Hey. Where is your mom?”

Kevin pulls his headphones down without looking up from the notebook. “Somewhere safe.”

“You kicked your mom to the curb?”

“She was too distracting. I couldn’t focus. The angels said I had to go to the desert to learn the word of God, all right. So…” Kevin motions around them. “This is my desert.”

Addison frowns. “Kevin, your mom is your mom.”

“I can’t enjoy a world I need to save, Addison. I can enjoy it when this is all over with. For right now…there’s nothing more important than this.”

~*~

Dean plops down next to Addison on what they both assumed was Kevin’s bed. He glances over her shoulder. “Why are you so obsessed with this book? It’s all you’ve been reading since we got back.” He leans in close. "Is it porn?”

Addison rolls her eyes. “No, it's not porn. It’s fiction. And it seemed fun to read…after being stuck in Purgatory for a year.”

“Yeah, reading about someone stuck in a different time period is fun after being stuck in Purgatory.”

“Yeah, well, at least Frank spent some time looking for Claire after she vanished. He didn’t just move on with his life immediately,” Addison snaps.

Dean sighs. “Ads, you gotta forgive Sam.”

“I already forgave Sam. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn't hurt. He thought we were dead, he moved on.” Addison sighs and closes her book. “Did you guys look for me when the Leviathan took me or did you just get lucky that Dick Roman happened to be where they took me?”

“Hey, I wanted to look for you. I did. But Sam said we couldn’t miss what might be our only shot at taking out Dick. And that you wouldn’t want us to miss it. I hated that he was right. But we got super fucking lucky on that.”

A flutter of wings echoes in the houseboat. Through neither Dean or Addison turn towards the angel. “I got what we need,” Castiel announces.

“Well, it’s about damn time,” Dean says, turning to the angel. He stares at Sam. “What's he doing here?”

“Don’t worry, Dean. Once we save Alfie, I’m out,” Sam responds.

Dean stands up. “Oh, once ‘we’ save Alfie. Don't hurt yourself, Sam. Cas, Ads, and I can handle it.”

“Not according to Cas.”

Dean glares at the angel. “I told you we don't need him.”

“We need everything, Dean. And I need both of you, as you say, to stow your crap,” Castiel argues. “Can you do that?”

The brothers exchange a look. “Well, this is going to be a lot of fun,” Addison mutters, standing up.

~*~

The Impala pulls up in front of the warehouse where Crowley and some demons are hiding out. “So, there are four main points of warding,” Castiel says. He was sitting in the backseat with Addison. Sam had taken his usual seat in the front. “North, south, east, and west. And four Enochian symbols like this…” Castiel grabs Sam’s hand and draws the symbol on his palm. “That you need to destroy before I can enter.”

“Okay, so, what? We go in, take care of the hell looks and you extract the angel,” Dean questions.

“Yes,” Castiel matter of factly answers. “After killing so many, I need to save at least this one.”

Sam nods. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Okay,” Dean says, pulling out the demon killing knife. “Let’s do this.”

“Wait. Here.” Castiel pulls out an angel blade and hands it to Sam. “This doesn’t just work on angels. It kills demons too.”

“Thanks, Cas,” Sam tells him.

“Hey, where’s my demon killing sword,” Addison asks, looking between the three men. The boys exchange a look while Castiel awkwardly shifts. Addison stares at the angel, waiting.

Castiel looks between the brothers, wondering what he should do. Dean shakes his head. “Dude, you got yourself in this mess,” he tells the angel.

Castiel shifts. “Maybe you should…” The angel trails off when Dean and Sam both start coughing. Dean subtle shakes his head, trying to help the angel out. “Maybe you should stay here, Addison. So you do not get hurt.”

Addison leans back against the seat and crosses her arms. She stares at Castiel. “And this is something you truly believe in, Castiel,” she asks. Dean winces. He recognized the tone she used very well. It was the one that said ‘you better rethink what you just said.’ He had been on the receiving end of it many times when Addison had first joined him and John on the road all those years ago. Through the thing that Dean couldn’t figure out was why Castiel was purposely excluding Addison now.

“Yes,” Castiel answers. “If you got hurt, then Dean would be more focused on helping you. And I can not have that right now.”

Addison stares at the angel. Dean and Sam exchange a look. They both knew that Castiel was going to be in the hot seat for a while over this. “You think that I’m going to get hurt,” Addison coldly asks. Sam shifts. Even without a soul, he had known that it was pointless to ask Addison to sit back.

“Yes,” Castiel answers, not picking up on her tone of voice. “Your, as you say, track record with getting hurt is immense. I can not have that right now.”

“Fine.” Addison crosses her arms over her chest. “I’ll stay here and wait.” Castiel climbs out of the Impala. She turns to the boys. “Go. I'll be fine here.”

Dean nor Sam say anything as they climb out of the Impala. Dean runs a hand over his face. “Well, seems like Cas replaced you on Ads’ shit list,” he tell his younger brother. Sam ignores him and follows after the angel. “Great.”

~*~

Addison watches as Castiel walks towards the Impala with Alfie leaning against him. She was still pissed at him. She didn’t understand why he would come up with a bullshit reason for her to stay behind. She only did it because of her own curiosity. She watches as the two angels exchange words. Then Castiel pulls out an angel blade and stabs Alfie. A bright white light emits from the angel. She ducks down, hoping that Castiel wouldn’t think to check on her. Addison glances up to see Castiel cradling Alfie’s body. She watches as Dean and Sam run up to the angel. “What the fuck is going on,” she mutters.

~*~

Addison watches as Sam paints Enochian symbols on the walls of Rufus’ cabin. They were to prevent angels from listening to or watching them. “Okay,” Sam says, finishing up a symbol. “That should do it. Cas can’t see or hear us now.”

“Cas killed Alfie,” Addison blurts out. She had kept what she saw to herself until it was safe to do so. The brothers stare at her. “I saw Cas pull out an angel blade and stab Alfie in the chest.”

“Okay,” Dean nods, believing her. The boys had come to the same conclusion after suspecting Cas of doing something to Alfie. “What the hell?”

Sam sighs. “I know.”

“I told you something was off with him since he got back from Purgatory.”

“So, what, you think someone’s messing with him or something?”

“Who would do that,” Addison questions.

“Angels,” Sam suggests.

“Why would the angels have him kill another angel,” Dean counters. Sam shrugs. Dean runs a hand over his face. “You know what, man. We got this. You go.”

Sam stares at his older brother. “What?”

“Don’t you have a girl to get back to?”

“Yeah. I guess I do. Um, since when are you on the Amelia bandwagon?”

Dean shrugs as he walks over to the fridge. “I don’t know. I’m just tired of all the fighting,” he answers, grabbing a beer. “And you know what, maybe I’m a little bit jealous. I could never separate myself from the job like you and Ads could. You have something that’s not connected to the job.”

“What, you being such a big hugger and all?” Sam sighs. “She does make me happy and she could be waiting for me if I went back. I’d be a very lucky man if she was. But now…with everything starting down at us, with all that’s left to be done…I don’t know.”

Dean glances at his younger brother. “Huh.”

“Yeah.”

Addison looks between them. “Well,” Dean begins. “I do know this, whatever you decide, decide now. Both feet in or both feet out. Anything in between is what gets you dead.”

“Yeah, I keep hearing that. I’m gonna…take a walk. Clear my head,” Sam tells them. They watch as he walks out of the cabin.

Addison walks over to her husband and wraps her arms around him. “One day we won’t be connected to the job,” she softly says. “We’ll have the crappy white picket fence and the soccer games on Saturday mornings.”

Dean sighs. “Ads—”

“Don’t. Just…let’s hold on to it.”

Dean presses a soft kiss to the top her head. “I need to call Benny and let him know that I’m not coming.”

Addison nods and watches as Dean walks to their claimed bedroom in the cabin. She lets out a soft sigh. She knew that no matter what Dean wouldn’t allow himself to be happy.

#supernatural #fanfiction #dean winchester #addison sloan #season eight #sam winchester #oc #ofc #dean wincesterxofc

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