#also i scheduled this to post at like 11:30pm and was having A Time with my tags. so begging clemency if they don't work ahhhh
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Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps - CHAPTER 4 (My Funny Valentine)
Noir!Jake Lockley x WOC Lounge Singer!Reader
written in collaboration with + header by @mrs-lockley
chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 5
cross-posted to ao3
tags: late 1940s Noir AU, Reader is WOC coded but with no physical description besides being slightly taller than Jake while wearing heels, no use of Y/N, mentions of injury/fixing it (stitches), brief songfic portion (c'mon you knew it was coming)
wc: 3.4k
fic summary: Of all the gin joints in all the world, Jake Lockley walks into yours. Unfortunately for him, it's not quite the start of a beautiful friendship.
chapter summary: patching things up.
__________
“He doesn’t look like he’d be this heavy.”
It’s hard to keep your voice down while hauling a grown man up the narrow stairs of your apartment. Bloodied and fazed, Jake dangles between you and Matt as you prop him on your shoulders. He’d barely registered how you both rushed to his side when you found him moments ago. Collapsing next to your building, of all places… somebody had to be looking out for this guy.
“Dead weight’s funny like that,” Matt huffs, bearing his share of the burden a bit easier but still straining beside you. He feels your body tense up and quickly adds, “Sorry– poor choice of words.”
“No kidding.”
Eventually you make it to your floor. Jake’s conscious, but too weary to hold himself up. Matt helps you keep him upright as you stumble down the hallway like some twisted version of The Wizard of Oz.
As quiet as you’ve tried to be, you’re a cumbersome entourage. So it doesn’t surprise you to hear one door, then another creak open on either side of the hallway.
You can’t help but freeze like a deer in headlights. On one side, you’re pinned by the gaze of Leah Mendoza, bathrobe and silk headscarf broadcasting that you’ve interrupted the highest quality of beauty sleep. Across the hall, Caroline Ngo’s sweet face peers from behind the door of her parents’ apartment. Her eyes widen as she takes in the sight of you holding up a bloodied stranger.
“Caroline, go back to bed.” Leah is hardly older than you, but a stern word from her is as good as any mother’s. At her command the younger girl obediently ducks back into her apartment, and you feel yourself shrink under your neighbor’s stare. You’re sure you won’t hear the end of this.
But you don’t have time to worry about your inevitable lecture. You keep walking toward your apartment at the end of the hall. You fumble with your keys when you pause outside the door. Jake’s weary head lolls toward you. “Easy, cabbie,” you whisper. Your arms are burning from holding him up, but you can’t help but feel bad for him as his sweat-slicked hair brushes your cheek in his exhaustion.
The three of you tumble into your apartment and move to the couch, laying Jake down as gently as possible. You turn on a couple of lamps and leave Matt to get Jake adjusted as you go to the kitchen.
“Probably has some bruised ribs, from the way he’s breathing.” Matt kneels beside Jake and helps him out of his coat to open his shirt, gingerly running a hand over his torso. He’d clearly been in a fight; the warm swelling of assorted bruises and cuts makes it obvious. He grazes his fingers over Jake’s heated forehead, stopping at the gash above his eye. “He’ll need stitches to hold him over.”
“I’m on it.”
His vision is still slightly blurred, but after a few minutes Jake watches you approach, apron fitted over your evening gown and carrying a medium-sized box under a steaming bowl of water. You pull a chair over to the couch and sit as Matt gives you space, moving to the window. You watch as he tunes back in to the sounds of the city, listening for any lingering trouble.
You get to work with near-mechanical efficiency. Collecting supplies from the box, you dip your equipment into the water after wringing out the hand towel you had soaking in the bowl. “This might sting.”
“Ah, I can take it,” Jake says hoarsely. He tries to sit up, but winces and stops himself.
You press the cloth to his forehead, urging him back down. The wound above his eye seems to have stopped bleeding, but there’s deep purple swelling surrounding it. Once it’s clean, you pat his face dry. His good eye follows your every movement.
As you prepare to work on his face, you can see Jake’s body relax. “I’m going to stitch you up,” you warn him as you thread the needle. “You’re lucky you didn’t lose this eye… nasty head wound you’ve got here.”
“Oh, is that what this is?” Jake strains to touch his temple. “ Well, I’ll be.”
You move his hand. “Be serious.”
“As a heart attack.” He obediently takes a deep breath, eyes screwed shut as you get to work.
As unpleasant as the procedure feels, his exhaustion trumps the pain. You make quick work of it, your hands and gaze steady. “Do I want to know how you’re so good at this?” he grunts.
You tie off the stitch and sigh. “I used to do the same thing for Matthew.”
It takes him a moment to process what you’ve said. “You mean–”
“–I’ve spent my fair share of late nights patching him up after God-knows-what happened in some alleyway? Yeah,” you chuckle mirthlessly. “It’s like you boys crave punishment, I’ll never understand it.”
Jake winces as you snip the excess thread. “Didn’t know the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen had introduced himself to you, angel.”
“‘Introduced,’ ‘fell onto my fire escape,’ you get the picture.” Before you can stand, Matt is already at your side with a fresh towel and hot water. You offer him a tired smile. “It's how we became friends.”
“Almost more than that for a time,” he smirks. He ducks back to the window when your face heats as you clean Jake’s stitches.
Jake huffs a laugh, glancing between the two of you. “Murdock, you sly dog.”
You lean back, dismissively wiping your hands on your apron. “Oh, can it. Nothing happened.” Standing up, you gather the rags and water and leave the room.
“Forgive me if I have a hard time believing that, Songbird,” he hoarsely calls after you.
“No, she’s right,” Matt seconds. When the sound of running water floats in from the kitchen, he moves to the couch and leans in, voice low. “She didn’t want to get involved with someone putting their life on the line.”
Jake lets the weight of his confession wash over him. This wasn’t just Matt’s way of saying you were the one that got away.
When you return, you glance between the two of them. “Well, if history is repeating itself… you’ll have to sleep this off here.” You offer a cold shoulder as you collect a spare blanket and throw pillow from the corner.
Matt catches your arm as you pass. “Hey–”
“You should go, you have court in the morning.” Your voice is flat as you brush him off to keep working.
Jake’s head is still throbbing, but he’s grateful for your touch (albeit less than gentle) as you raise his head to place the extra pillow beneath it. You mutter an apology as you drape the blanket over his exposed torso. Given the look on your face, he figures he shouldn’t poke fun at your rushed attention.
He watches you escort Matt to the door. Murdock doesn’t seem too keen to depart.
“You shouldn’t be by yourself tonight,” he urges you. “I can make my way to the courthouse with plenty of time–”
“–Matthew, go, it’ll be fine.” Your tone has warmed a bit, but you maintain the space between you.
He hesitates at the door, no doubt listening to Jake’s ragged breathing on top of every other sound outside your apartment. It’s a wonder he stays sane, you often think.
You cast a glance to your battered houseguest, who pretends not to listen. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? For us to spend more time together?” You close the distance to grasp his hand. “Really. Go home.”
Whatever argument Matt was prepared to make, he chokes down. It’s clear you’re not changing your mind.
“If there’s any trouble–”
“–What, you think I can make him any worse than this? Give me some credit, Matty.”
“–If there’s any trouble, just say the word.” One hand tenses around the doorframe, the tilt of his head confirming he’s still on high alert. “I’ll come right back.”
Your expression softens. “You always do.” A quick kiss to his cheek and a gentle nudge toward the hallway serves as your goodbye.
Closing the door behind you, you take a breath to steady your nerves. You were joking before, but if Jake Lockley somehow dies on your sofa, you’re not sure you’d have the stomach to stand trial.
The silence of your apartment is only broken by Jake’s groans of discomfort as he adjusts positions. You rush to his side.
“Are you okay?” You try not to sound as panicked as you feel. Without Matt and the rush of adrenaline, your anxiety spikes tenfold.
Jake’s good eye goes wide. “Yeah… yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” He settles back into the couch. “Just trying to get comfortable.”
“Let me help you,” you say quickly, desperate to do something with your hands besides wring them. You kneel and adjust the pillows by his head, careful not to jostle him this time.
His entire body is begging to sleep for a week. But despite his headache, he takes in the sight of you as you fuss over him, fixing his blanket more times than necessary.
“Don’t think I’m going anywhere, doll.” He tries to laugh but this time only manages to cough. Matt was probably right about his ribs.
You remove your hands from the blanket. “Sorry.”
Silence again. You examine his face: it’s like looking at a stranger. The bruises and cuts are one thing, but there’s a profound heaviness in every feature you’ve never seen before. When he’s this quiet, you hardly recognize him.
“You must think I'm an idiot.”
His gruff voice snaps you back from your thoughts. He’d been staring at you, too, watching your face fall as you’d looked at him.
You shake off the shock of his statement. “No… no, I don't think you're an idiot. Reckless, maybe, but not an idiot.”
His brow raises. “You know, I think that’s the kindest thing you’ve said to me since we met.”
You open your mouth to protest, but stay quiet. Because he’s right.
“...You think I hate you, don't you?”
“Don't you?” He presses. “Sorry to say it, doll, but I’m almost surprised you didn’t leave me out in the cold.”
You get the feeling that he’s joking, but with your track record, it’s not an unearned jab.
“I… feel a lot of things. But not hatred.” You smooth the front of your dress to distract yourself. “Right now, for example, I’m feeling generous.”
Jake cracks a small smile. “Yeah? Is letting me bleed out on your furniture your act of kindness for the year, morena?”
Your brow creases slightly as you lower yourself to sit on the floor. “I'm serious. You can ask me for anything. Within reason, I mean.”
Jake finds himself biting back another line for your sake. You've done so much already; even if you’d stitched up a hundred head wounds before his, he can’t imagine you were unaffected by what you saw tonight. You look about as tired as he feels.
This has been an evening of firsts for you both; it’s not the most high-stakes difference, but the thought crosses both of your minds: it’s the first night you haven’t put on a show for each other.
“Would you sing to me?”
You tilt your head. “Now? Really?”
Jake's smile grows. “What, too unreasonable?”
“No, it's just… you've heard me sing a dozen times.” You shrug. “Sure you want to waste your favor?”
You're not sure how he can look so worn out and still have a glimmer in his eye. But he does, and it brightens as he doubles down. “But I've never missed your grand finale. Seems like I owe you one, too.”
“...alright.” Your voice is soft as you agree. Jake settles into the cushions, eyes closed with a smug half-smile resting on his face.
You adjust yourself and take a deep breath. Trading a spotlight for your living room lamp shouldn’t be so nerve wracking, and yet–
Jake grunts, interrupting your thoughts again as he shifts against the couch. Without thinking, you place a hand on his arm.
“We finished with some ‘Babes in Arms’ tonight,” you preface. “So here’s your finale.” With another breath, you start to sing– just low enough for the two of you to hear.
“You’re my funny Valentine… sweet, comic Valentine… you make me smile with my heart.”
You can feel Jake relax even further as you continue. “Your looks are laughable… unphotographable… yet you’re my favorite work of art.”
With every line, you’re more grateful that he wasn’t present tonight, cutting up with his usual antics while you were onstage. “Is your figure less than Greek? Is your mouth a little weak? When you open it to speak, are you smart?”
…and yet, looking at him now, wounded and weary, you get the nagging feeling that if last week was your final exchange, you’d miss him. Him, of all people. “But don’t change a hair for me… not if you care for me.”
The gentle rise and fall of his chest lets you know he’s already long gone. With his brow smoothed and that cocky smile melted away, you feel like you’re seeing Jake for the first time. At his worst, maybe, but like he has nothing to hide.
“Stay, little Valentine, stay…”
Your exhaustion hits you all at once. You prop your head on your hand, leaning onto the bit of cushion Jake doesn’t occupy. You can barely hear yourself as you finish.
“...each day is Valentine’s Day.”
__________
You don’t remember falling asleep.
All you know is that your body aches twice as much as it would have if you’d slept in a real bed. Instead, you realize before you even open your eyes, you dozed off while sitting on the floor, legs and back at an awkward angle.
You move to sit up, but feel some resistance. You’re pinned by a blanket-covered arm draped across your shoulders. Eyes now startled open, you remember whose it is.
Jake’s still asleep, unbothered by your jolt of discovery. His brow is tense, likely because of the angle he himself ended up in, but he’s otherwise the picture of peace.
The sun hasn’t risen and the apartment is cold; it’s just you and him huddled in the lamplit space. Part of you wants to close your eyes and lean back in, but the rest of you screams that if you don’t get any blood flow to your legs, the only lounge you should look forward to this evening is a chaise.
You push yourself off the cushion, careful to move Jake’s arm back by his side. The sudden pressure makes him jump.
“Shit, what the—” he hisses, opening his eyes to see you, still at eye level. “Sorry,” he murmurs, distracted from the pain by the sight of you still at his makeshift bedside.
“No, I’m sorry.” You finish detangling yourself from the blanket and stumble upright. You consider thanking him for keeping you from freezing, but quickly change the subject instead. “I don’t mean to hurry you, but if you want to freshen up, my bathroom’s just through there.”
Jake stifles a groan as he pushes himself up off the couch. “No, I should get going soon. But I’d love to wash off the rest of this–” He almost says “blood,” but given how your face falls, he should move on. “I’d love to freshen up.”
As Jake busies himself in the bathroom, you head to your closet. You don’t feel like changing, although you suspect there’s some unfortunate stains that made their way onto your skirt. Instead, you grab a pair of socks and a buttoned shirt, draping the latter on the bathroom door. You hear Jake humming as you walk back to the couch.
When he opens the door, Jake sees the shirt. He doesn’t have to ask to know it’s one of Matt’s. He swaps his stained shirt for the clean one in the kitchen. Meaning you get an eyeful of just how bruised his torso really is.
You finish putting on your socks (this place is freezing) and stand at the edge of the kitchen. “You look better.”
“I feel better,” Jake chimes, slowly buttoning up his shirt. While you're relieved he looks rested, face and hair glistening from their quick wash, his bruises hurt to look at. You can only imagine how sore he must still be.
“Do you need something to eat?” You move to your cupboard, wincing when you notice how threadbare it is. “I can offer you… black coffee, or what used to be a loaf of bread.”
Jake chuckles, shaking his head. “You've done enough, I'm grateful. Think I'll head home and sleep the rest of this off.”
You turn back to him, stepping closer. With the excess blood and dirt washed from his face, you can see his color slowly returning. The skin by his eye remains discolored but less swollen, showing a glimmer of the brown eye still forced closed beneath his stitches. His wet hair reveals its true texture, with dark curls falling onto his face. You brush a hand across his forehead, pushing the damp hair away from his injured eye. You miss how his breath catches as you tut over him.
“It's just like Maurie's, I don't know how you boys handle all this hair…”
His eyes flutter shut for a moment. “You prefer your men coiffed and clean-shaven, then?”
“I didn't say that.” You pull your hand away, but stay just as close. “You're sure you don't need anything else? Do you want help walking home? I can call Matthew.”
"Nah, it's alright. Just gonna pick up my cab and head to my place."
"You should see a doctor, get real stitches so they don’t scar–"
"I'm promise you, I'm–"
"–or you could start bleeding again, I don't want–"
“Hey.” His hand goes to cradle your face, silencing you.
Neither of you speak for a moment, all your attention on where palm meets cheek. Jake clears his throat, not moving his hand. "I'll take care of it. Look, if I'm worse for wear the next time I see you, you can kick my tail to kingdom come." His thumb lightly traces the worry line beneath it. "Deal?"
You nod, finding it hard to swallow your next argument. "...okay."
Another moment passes. The corners of your mouth threaten to turn up. “So when should we expect to have your table ready?”
“Oh, it’s my table now, is it?” Jake laughs, a labored sound, but he smiles through the discomfort.
You brush his hand away. “Come off it, you know what I meant.”
“I know,” he sighs, still smiling. He steps away, tugging on his coat. “But where's the fun in telling you? Rather let it be a surprise, keep you on your toes.”
You search for something, anything to say in response, but watching him struggle to put his coat on, face still cut and bruised, your usual wit fails you.
Your silence doesn't go unnoticed. Once he’s dressed, Jake steps over to you again, this time holding his hand out to you. “Until next time, morena.”
Slowly, you extend your hand to clasp his. It’s warm, like the way he’s looking at you now. You squeeze it lightly. “Until next time.”
Before you can let go, he bends down, bringing your hand to his lips. They’re dry as they brush against it, but you feel your skin burn all the same. With a signature wink and a smile, he lets go. When the door closes behind him, you’re left with the receding sound of his footsteps, your skin blazing from his touch, and the drum of your own heart racing in your chest.
__________
When Jake reaches the street, he ducks into an alley. By now the sun has almost completely risen, but the faint shape of the moon remains unusually visible over the city.
Jake closes his eyes. In an instant, his clothes transform: the borrowed shirt and bloodstained trousers fade away, replaced with a blindingly white suit. It’s more dapper than anything Jake would wear himself, but Khonshu isn't the type to keep personal tastes in mind.
A white mask rises from the collar of the suit, wrapping around his head and face. Immediately Jake feels the pressure behind his eyes alleviate, and he can think clearly for the first time in hours.
He opens his eyes– now glowing like the moon– and stares at the sky.
We need to talk, you boneheaded bastard.
__________
A/N: holy fuck this was a marathon. but worth it imo! this has the most scenes i wanted from my og concept (a oneshot, if you can believe it); love seeing how things come together within a new story. this has been a blast an a half to work on, for the story but also bc y'all's feedback has been so fun. thank you for your hype and support through all this!!!
shoutout to @mrs-lockley for always being a willing collaborator + hypewoman + reminding me that the superpowered blind character is still fucking BLIND
also ty @juneknight and @spacecowboyhotch for your help re: beating that guy up. kisses to u
as always, tysm for reading <3
tag list: @mercurysjoy, @importantnightwerewolf, @cupidysm, @queerponcho, @nerdieforpedro, @fandxmslxt69, @shadystarlightgentlemen, @lunar-ghoulie, @casa-boiardi (lmk if you'd like to be added to/removed from this wee tag list)
#my works#also i scheduled this to post at like 11:30pm and was having A Time with my tags. so begging clemency if they don't work ahhhh#moon knight#moon knight fanfiction#moon knight au#jake lockley#jake lockley fanfiction#noir!jake lockley#jake lockley x reader#jake lockley x fem!reader#jake lockley x woc!reader#jake lockley x poc!reader#jake lockley/reader#jake lockley/fem!reader#jake lockley/woc! reader#jake lockley/poc!reader#matt murdock
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The Wish Chapter 1 Preview
Hey everyone, this post is a preview to my upcoming story titled The Wish. Kinda inspired by my own life, it's about a high schooler, stressed out with her family and school both, wishes that she never existed. Unfortuntately, the wish comes true and now, she must not only get her life back, but also learn to appreciate the small stuff.
Anyways, here's a preview for Chapter !~ Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Scheduling
Thursday, 7:00AM:
7:20AM-Have Breakfast with Family
7:30AM-Board School Bus
7:50AM-Chew Mint-Flavored Sugar Free Gum to Prevent Bad Breath
7:55AM-Get to First Period, Start School
8:00AM-2:50PM-Start School
3:00PM-Fencing Practice
4:00PM-Board Bus to Take Me Home
4:30-6:30PM-Study for AP Chemistry Test
6:35PM-Dinner at the Pretensions'
7:00PM-Get Wilbur to Bed
7:30PM-8:30PM-Finish Book Report on Fahrenheit 451
8:35PM-Get Ready for Bed
8:45PM-Watch Netflix until 9
9:00PM-Bed time!
Extra Notes:
*Pre-Calculus Test Tomorrow
*Spanish 3 Honors Project Due Next Friday
*History Oral Report on WWII Next Monday.
*Fencing Tournament Saturday at 1PM-4PM
"There, my schedule for tomorrow is complete." I said in relief as I sat in my desk in my room on a Wednesday Night, waiting for the day to completely end, so I can finally start a new one. My school counselor suggested to me that I should start scheduling my tasks, so I can balance both my school and home life since I tend to be really busy with classes, fencing, and babysitting. Basically, the typical responsibilities almost every seventeen-year-old would have when they're almost done with high school.The truth is, I didn't always like doing these tasks. In fact, I only do them so I can prove myself to them. Them as in my folks; also known as my parents.
You see, my parents are very busy when it comes to their jobs. My mother, Barbara works late as a nurse while my father, Jonathan is a graveyard worker at the hotel downtown. So my siblings and I don't tend to see them often; especially my younger ones: Harold, Bethany or "Betty" as she preferred, and Wilbur. Futhermore, my two older siblings, Wendy and Steven, who are college students, are usually the ones in charge; despite their busy hours of studying. I guess they got use to it so much that they even began to act like Mom and Dad themselves. My oldest sister, Wendy at twenty-three last week had me clean the kitchen from head to toe and whenever I missed a pot or did something wrong, she would snap at me and tell me to do it again. In fact, she would complain about how "that's not how Mom would want it done!" I can still hear her obnoxious shriek in my ears.
Just as I was about to shut off the light and hit the hay, a knock was heard. I groaned to myself and told them to come in.
"Hello baby sister," Wendy greeted me in the most fake loving tone ever.
"Even the deadliest of all killers could fake that." She ignored my sarcasm.
"I know you don't like being bothered, especially this late at night," she continuned.
"It's only two hours and fifty three minutes until midnight, but talk." Wendy rolled her eyes at my deadpan remark. "Anyways, there's been a state of emergency at the hospital tonight. Mom's gonna be busy for the next two nights, and Dad's most likely gonna sleep in. So be prepared, sis. You might have to set up to watch the little ones longer than expected."
"WHAT?!" I began to freak out and flip through my agenda. "But that totally messes up my schedule!" I tried to show her.
UPDATE: 1/11/24
Fixed and edited some mistakes that a friend from Discord helped me out with.
#the wish#original#original writing#loveprincessgem#wattpad#general fiction#deviantart#muggle-gem-princess#muggle-born-princess#writing#story#novel#preview#sneak preview
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Our First Producers Meeting!!! (RTWW)
Thomas J Coffee, Old Town. 11:30-12:30pm
Present: Joseph, Luca, Lili
Agenda: Initial producer meeting to divide work
Today I met with Luca (Director) and Joseph (Co-producer) for our first producer’s meeting, before week one commences officially. Luca, having worked in close contact with the writer, Jack, over the past week, had eagerly prepared an extensive document of formulated ideas involving the locations, casting, production design, and production schedule of our project.
We decided that the first thing we would need to pursue is our 5 different filming locations, as this will allow us to narrow down our risks, and provide a level of security in the project. From there, we can discuss with our team and cast the convenient shooting times and then submit a request to book equipment. To provide ample post-production time to our editors, we agreed on a loose plan to shoot before the Easter Break, for 3 days between the 11th-22nd of March. We were also able to semi-confirm 1 of 5 locations: Luca’s Living room in his flat in Old Town.
We then discussed casting, and decided that while we will outsource actors to play the three lead roles, we will use friends and members from the course to play our extras.
We realised that we would need to come up with a budget plan soon, particularly, how much the crew would be willing to contribute initially. This led us to realise that our most costly factor will likely be transport, with 5 different locations and only one team member having a car.
Luca then went through his pre-production plan that he had created on Milanote, describing in detail the impression and style of each adverse character in the story. I raised questions regarding the age range and look he wanted for each actor so I could better envision for the the casting process.
Finally, Joseph and I as co-producers listed all the roles within producing and how we would delegate them between us, and which we would conduct together. Joseph offered to location scout, as he has more knowledge of the Edinburgh area than me, as I had just moved to the city. So I said I would manage casting.
Notes:
Possible locations:
Luca's Flat
Streets (maybe 2)
Suggested shooting dates:
2-3 day shoot
Go on break 25th March
Luca is away from 22nd March
Could shoot sometime in between the 11th-22nd
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Op took on sentinel’s mantle after the latter’s death?
Wait, does sentinel still really have a biological kid?
Also, I knew people would know optimus and megatron had the hots for each other.
Wait, did starscream ever tease megatron about all this love stuff?
What’s Optimus’s average schedule?
Ps. I hope my latest ties that bind fanfiction post hasn’t gotten buried by tumblr’s bs.
They were both cops, and Sentinel was a mentor to OP! Someone figured that out and made the connection that Sentinel was looking for the Matrix and OP now has it (Very questionable, as many laymen see the Matrix as a mythic relic from the past), and because OP has decided to go against the VERY charismatic (we'll file 'murderous' away for later shhh) Megatron, there are more than a few fanatics esp in Decepticon strongholds who think he's Gone Sentinel.
Up in the wind currently, but IF he did, wouldn't it be fun if it was.... Nemesis Prime?
There's definitely some who remember VERY fondly the times when those two were side by side and are clamoring for a return to that time!
Starscream did, but not anymore because it wouldn't make sense to Megatron, (who has Dean Ambrose levels of "I do not fuck with social media”) and it's no fun if Megs is just "...?" 95% of the time about it.
Ima check!
Pressuming OP's not active on the field :
6:00am - Subuh prayers
6:15am - Morning run
6:45am - Shower
7:00am - Breakfast while reviewing overnight intelligence reports with Jazz
8:00am - Con call with ambassadors in the East
9:00am - Daily meeting with the division chiefs
9:30am - What the f---no it's fine, he thought you said something for a second there.
9:35am - No he doesn't know why it's glowing like that maybe it wants a second bagel or sumth
9:40am - This is fine. Second bagel courtesy of Jazz, meeting resumes
10:00am - Volunteer work in nearby town
12:00pm - Lunch break
1:00pm - Training session
1:45pm - Stop glowing ffs this is practice, not life or death WHO IS ARGUING WITH ME
1:55pm - Just random palpitations! Nothing to worry about guys he's fine. Session resumes
3:00pm - Post-training medical check, team performance review
3:30pm - Zuhur prayers
4:00pm - Con call with ambassadors in the West
5:00pm - Asar prayers
5:15pm - Tea break, tending to pigeons
5:30pm - Quality time with Bee (Running, talking, football, dancing, etc)
6:00pm - Strategising session with Prowl
7:00pm - Dinner while going through daily reports
7:45pm - Maghrib prayers
8:00pm - Debriefing sessions alongside Prowl or Jazz on field agents reporting in from their stations
9:00pm - Archival work in Alpha Trion's library (sorting through documents, digitising and/or translation work)
10:00pm - Work-out session
11:00pm - Isyak prayers, Leisure time
12:00am - Crash
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For the fanfic writer ask game: 6, 10, 11, 17, 29, 48, 63, 94
oh wow!! so many!!! thank you so much! ♥️ i will answer these lovely questions below the cut 👍
6 ~ do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?
tbh it’s mostly hoping for the best. in general, i can usually squeeze some time out from like 8pm-11:30pm. sometimes if life is forgiving, i can get a generous 4pm-midnight window, but usually i’m so exhausted from all my morning shenanigans, i don’t do a whole lot of writing in these free-time chunks. i’m hoping by august i’ll have some free mornings and i can get back into my full groove again!
10 ~ at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?
there are two options. either i come up with the title immediately as i’m writing it, (01746, a gift and a curse, happy belated, king of karaoke, negotiations). the other option is staring at the empty title box in the ao3 posting form for an hour trying to magically come up with a title. (broken fingers hold tightest, broken hearts bleed brightest, donut miss your chance!, rise & shine, temptation, torment and tangerines). seems like i have more trouble naming newer stories for some reason. 🤷
11 ~ what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?
research is pretty important to me, because i like to blend the mystical magical world of one piece with some realism. (like what if drinking milk didn’t solve all our health problems) recently i learned cocoyashi was inspired by a part of indonesia, and the coldest that area gets is around sixty degrees fahrenheit, or about 15.5 degrees celsius! law and rosi are gonna roast their north blue asses off 🔥
17 ~ what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?
what a cruel question 😝 i’m giving you a few answers! in terms of dialogue, in my original series, i had someone proclaim, “Why do we have to die to be loved?” and i quite like that line. for exposition, i think it might be, “It wasn’t so gummy, it wasn’t so strained, the muscles in his neck were relaxed and the apples of his cheeks weren’t threatening to split through the skin.” from the donquixote bros event. OR. i also like, “His brother lurked in the bloody pulp along the gumline of those smiles.” i’m gonna cut myself off now, i could keep going for a while 🤪
29 ~ give us a spoiler of one of your stories.
hmmm trying to think of something shiny and new that you might not have seen me mention in the villain server… i’ll spoil a wip too, since you’ve read a lot of my posted stories! in sublime > perish, gladius is going to lose one parent at a time. so he can wallow in the misery of missing one before i kill the other. and then i’ll take his memories. 🥰
48 ~ do you reread your own stories?
y-yes. i write fanfic very self-indulgently. whatever ships/stories i can’t find, i write. so i do end up rereading them when i’m craving that trope. and that’s when i find all my typos.
63 ~ what’s the best insult you’ve read in a fic?
oh dear. this is a hard one. uhhh. lemme go through the ol bookmarks.
i really love this exchange between doflamingo and croc in crowbar’s “Product Demonstration”:
“Let’s take war, for example. Who won the last war in your neck of the woods?”
“Wars aren’t something that can be won.”
“That’s a bleeding-heart answer if I ever heard one.” She drew up, affronted. “No, no, don’t worry, you’re still an asshole.”
94 ~ do you prefer dialogue or description?
dialogue! i am sucker for dialogue. i’ve got full fictional conversations going on in my head. i used to have a notebook when i was in middle school that i filled with these random edgy conversations between ocs. that’s how i got into writing! and now i’m writing obscure fanfic with plenty of dialogue! XD
thank you so so much for all the asks!! i feel like this was some sort of celebrity interview, hehe 😎
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Preface/FAQish
Hello! 1st storyish related post oh my but think of this as a preface type post. This is just to list things i want all to know before i start the story. Think like a FAQ but no one asked for it. I feel its necessary given the theme of the dorm. So lets begin!
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What's the theme of this dorm?
Basically the concept of sharing stories by a campfire with friends at night. I've combined with the idea the students speak about myths & folktales from their homelands as they are abit homesick and sharing such stories to feel closer with one another.
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Does the students in this dorm need to be active at night?
Yes in order to be considered by the mirror to join this dorm the student has to be a form of nocturnal or crepuscular. This doesn't necessarily mean they have to be a beasthumans or bestialhumans that are officially classified as such by their beast species. Active at night is important so this includes those who live night owl/nightshift lifestyles. Also thoses who can switch their time schedules too.
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Are only beasthumans & bestialhumans allowed?
Nope! All species in twst or fanmade can join. Humans,Fae,Beast types,Supernatural,Merfolk,Mythological,Folktale,Insect types,etc all are welcome. I only ask if you are making a folklore based oc that it not be based on the cultures listed in the question below this one.
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Can we make a oc based on this?
You are free to make a oc based on whatever creature,fairytale,supernatural being,mythological creature/god,etc.
The only thing I will say depends is folktale creatures/beings. This is where I hope you do much needed research to not depict a folktale creature or story badly from the culture its from. Please don't just read the wikia and think thats it find other sources. Google art of the creature/being see if all is alright or it has parts on it that seem offensive or are. Respect the source. Take elements but not the entire thing if it has issues. Do not make the issue the base of your oc thats just awful and offensive to those of that culture.
The following cultures are absolutely not allowed ever:
Native American
Indigenous Cultures
The media and internet have bad depictions of folktales from these cultures and often they are down right offensive,very misinformed,and people from these culture are tired of these awful depictions so I do not allow such based ocs. This also goes for any other culture do not use a offensive reference as a base please. There are ways to make a oc based on a culture or element from it and not be offensive of course but often fiction misrepresents characters/folklore from the cultures i mentioned so its more harder so just dont make em at least for my dorm your free to anywhere else.
If you make a oc based on a folktale please run it by me via DM while I am no expert I can assist in advice if they seem like they be going into unsavory area. I'm not going to reject your creativity just help so its not bad representation. I hope all of that made sense.
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What time is classes for these students?
7pm - 11:30pm usually but the end time can change from 11:30pm to 10:30pm depending.
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What classes do they take?
All NRC classes are taken except for physical education classes. A flip class schedule is in place for them. This means they have different classes the next day til all are covered then it repeats. Serendipia students can't take physical education classes as their professors which are ghosts can't perform these tasks. The housewardens usually create a physical activity for the students to do to keep active. Current housewarden Damián uses dance parties as a physical activity for example aswell as pool parties to teach swimming. He has games at these parties that require flying to reach something so flying is natural taught mostly by their will to want to play the flying party games.
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Ghost professors?
Yup the Serendipia students are taught in same classrooms but at night by certain tasked nrc ghosts who are given the lesson plans of the daytime professors. They been given the nickname "Ghost Profs" and can be distinguish from other ghosts via they have the hairstyle of the professor they are teaching subject of and try to imitate them often.
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Canon characters in story?
Right now the only ones are Malleus and Crowley. I know most would like to have them added in but I lack the confidence in writing canon characters in a way all would accept as people are very defensive if you get one thing wrong in their eyes. The Ghost Profs would kinda be canonish since they imitate the canon professors(and my oc ones) but not 100%. They will be in the story thought.
This is all I can think of to add right now but I may update this post with more as they come to me. Thank you so much for reading for now. ❤
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Walking on a Dream
The 2 days at home before surgery flew past. I said goodbye to my kids the night before we left knowing that the next time I would see them, I would be two weeks post-op and would look very, very different. They were no different to usual. My son grasped it a bit better, but their attention span and emotions weren’t in line with what was a pretty big deal!
The morning before surgery ended up being my first, and last CrossFit class since before Christmas. We had booked to go to CrossFit Green near the hospital and it was always my plan that I would do a final class in Dublin before surgery. I had just hoped that I’d also make it to some in my own gym before. It turned out to be the first (and last I hope) workout that I seriously considered quitting. I was so deconditioned from being out of the gym for a month and still not 100%. My heart rate skyrocketed pretty quickly. I knew I would never reach the numbers on the board. At the end, I didn’t actually do as badly as I thought given all the factors, but if I hadn’t been getting surgery, I would have been seriously pissed off at myself for even of thinking of quitting.
Later that day, was my marking appointment. That appointment had been in my head since my surgery was booked - maybe then it would all seem real, because that appointment would mean it was really happening. What I didn’t anticipate, were the nerves. It was like Éilís read my mind when I went in - “a lot of patients feel nervous for this appointment but leave feeling much better,” which was exactly what happened.
I signed the consent form to confirm I wanted to go ahead with the surgery. There was a section to say I understood there were alternatives to surgery. We both had a good laugh at that: “I think I’ve exhausted all of those 😂”
I took the final pictures of my diastasis that night. I didn’t sleep terribly, but I wouldn’t say I slept well. I was fasting from 4am (I set an alarm and took a protein bar just before) and no liquid after 8am.
I walked the 15 minutes to the hospital with Alex. He already knew - I wanted to carry my hospital bag as it would be the last time I was carrying anything for a while. I’m stubborn, but I had my reasons - I don’t like asking for help and if I can do it myself I will do. I was admitted at 10am. We went to a small waiting room until I was called. We waited only 15 minutes before they told me that this was it and we had to say our goodbyes then. That felt so strange, but I wasn’t at all nervous. Poor Alex looked a bit lost, but I felt pretty calm and definitely felt ready.
I was taken to a bay to get changed into a robe, compression socks and to give a urine sample. I was there just minutes, before a doctor started taking my medical history. I didn’t even have a chance to get changed once he left, as the next thing two nurses came to get my urine sample, take a blood sample and insert a cannula for my IV. Everything felt like it was happening at breakneck speed. I literally had questions about practically everything in my medical history being fired at me, as someone else took blood at the same time.
By the time that was done, I noticed everyone in the waiting area were being taken at different points and leaving the area we were in. What I didn’t realise was they were being taken along more or less for surgery. I don’t know what I expected, but I somehow thought I was going to be taken to another room to wait. I didn’t think the next part would be the holding area right next to the operating theatre!
I had absolutely no concept of time, but the last time I checked my phone it was 11:29 and at that point I was called. I knew my surgery had been scheduled for 1:30pm and I knew that meant nothing as such, but I had in my head I had ages to wait. When I was told this was the point I would be leaving all my stuff and this was it, I was pretty shocked. I was led to the holding area where they drew the curtain around me in a room full of patients waiting for surgery, just like I was. The only difference was, surely I had a while yet to wait?
The nurse came in to go through a final few things. She asked me had I been waiting long for surgery. In terms of that morning: no 😂 in terms of everything else: it felt like it. She patted my leg and told me it wouldn’t be much longer. I don’t know how I managed to stop myself asking, ‘how is this possible because everything seems to be happening so fast’ 🙈 I have absolutely no idea how long I was sitting there before Éilís came over. I was aware I could see lots of pairs feet under the curtain that were moving about and no doubt leaving for surgery. I could hear surgeons and anaesthesiologists alike speaking to patients and leading them away. Probably the thing that set me off was hearing someone at the desk in the room say something about, ‘Éilís Fitzgerald’s patient.’ It wasn’t me they were speaking about, but my heart rate hit the roof and I realised I had to chill the hell out if I was going to be sitting there, especially if it was going to be for some time yet. I tried to just close my eyes and take deep breaths to calm down. I think I actually even drifted off for a few minutes I was so successful 🤣
When Éilís came in, I honestly felt like it was a dream. Apart from the fact when I had dreamt about that moment in the months previously, it usually ended with me being told it wasn’t happening and I had to go away and put more work in 🙈 Thankfully, this was real this time and there was no going back. We spoke for a few minutes and she asked me if I had any last minute questions, but the answer was no. I don’t know why I felt so calm at that point. It’s hard to describe - yes the day felt like someone had pushed the fast forward button, and very surreal. However other than small moments in the lead up, I didn’t ever feel anxious or nervous. All I felt was calm and ready. This was absolutely what I wanted, with the person I wanted to do it, and I knew I was in the best hands. I had long made peace with decision that this was how my journey was going to end up. We were finally there.
I had a few more minutes to sit before they were ready for me, so I stayed where I was. I say a few more minutes, but I genuinely have zero idea of how long it was. The next thing I know, the nurse and the anaesthesiologist himself came over. I instantly liked him. He introduced himself as, “I’m the person who’s going to put you to sleep with some lullabies. Shall we go do that now?” He then apologised for the wait. I said to him, this is all happening a lot quicker than I expected. I really don’t feel like I’ve been waiting at all. “Oh we all feel bad you’ve been waiting so long.” It was crazy 😅 I genuinely felt like I was in the weirdest time warp. Everyone else thought I’d been waiting ages, but I felt like I hadn’t been waiting at all.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that I would walk out the holding room only to be one or two doors down into the operating theatre. Or that I would just casually walk in and then be told to hop up on the table 😅 At that point they placed the wee sticky pads on my chest for all the leads for the monitors and applied the compression pumps to my legs there and then.
I was trying to take everything in. I couldn’t quite believe even at that point that it was actually happening. I didn’t even feel nervous at all, but there was a real sense of relief and excitement. There were loads of people in the room getting ready behind me. I was aware of Éilís coming through the door to my right. The last thing I remember was the anaesthesiologist asking me the colour of the cannula, ‘pink to make the boys wink’ 😂 and then a pink mask being placed over my nose and mouth. I just remember that sweet smell of the mask that was the same as when I used gas and air in my first labour. I could feel the gas I was inhaling, and the nurse told me it was just oxygen, but I guess it probably wasn’t because I don’t remember anything else after that 😂 Either that or the timing of that was exactly at the same minute as I was given the knockout. Last time I trust someone that tells me that 🤣
My first memory was kind of coming to in recovery and thinking, ‘whoa I think I’m going to be sick’ and promptly retching. I wasn’t actually sick, but a doctor came over sharpish with a sick bag and then I was gone again. I just remember thinking, ‘bloody hell why do I have to go and test the abs straight away doing something like that 😂🙈’ I vaguely remember being told when I was going to be taken upstairs, but I felt like I was being pulled back under and couldn’t fight off the sleep. I remember being left in the room, but it was a colossal effort to keep my eyes open. The last thing I recall at that point was being aware of whoever was next me - the woman and her husband were speaking Spanish. I felt reassured that I must be okay, because I heard and understood everything they said (although if you ask me now I couldn’t tell you what they said!) I always thought I’d be the one waking up speaking Spanish under the influence of the painkillers, but it turns out I was just meant to be in the bed next door 😅
The next thing I realised my visitors were in the room. It took absolutely everything to force my eyes to stay open, but the fact that they were there I knew I wanted to be conscious. I still had absolutely no concept of time. They were only there a few minutes before Éilís came in. She could have told me absolutely anything and I would struggle to remember. What I do remember is her taking off the binder to let me look. I have no idea how I reacted or what I said. I’m guessing I shook my head in disbelief (because that’s still how I react now). Despite the fact my tissues were very stretched, somehow the quality of those tissues was actually very good for the sutures to take hold. There are no guarantees, but it’s likely the load I had put through them and the work I had put in which made the difference. I was told my diet was going to be changed due to the fact that she thought I might get really sick from anaesthetic because of the volume of it going through someone smaller framed like me. Somehow though, I managed to eat every meal I had and I didn’t retch again. I wasn’t at all sick and have no idea why. Maybe my body was just able to cope somehow.
I’ve spoken to a few people who said they had slept great the night of surgery, but I didn’t at all. Despite the painkillers and feeling like I was in a fog, my brain just wouldn’t switch off (no change there then) and of course the nurse came in regularly to see if I needed more pain relief so it felt like the night after I had each of my kids, where they just keep checking on you. That’s obviously so reassuring, and if I was asleep I wouldn’t have noticed, but I just didn’t sleep well for whatever reason.
In the morning, my catheter was taken out at 7am and I knew I’d be up and going to the toilet for my first walk. The nurse helped me the first time and I was immediately shocked at how straight I was able to stand without forcing it. I had expected the worse, so was pleasantly surprised when it just felt comfortable to stand almost straight. The nurses changed my bed when I came back because they said I was a query for staying another night, which was reinforced by the fact I was told to make another dinner choice. I knew most patients left the next day, so that was a bit confusing, but I put it down to my low blood pressure. If my blood pressure is anything, it’s always low. When I had my son, it was dangerously low the morning after given birth and I couldn’t stand. I knew it wasn’t as low the morning after surgery, but everyone remarked on it. ‘Is your blood pressure usually low?’ was a question I was asked by a couple of nurses and the physio.
When Éilís came in to check on her patients, she confirmed there would be no reason why I couldn’t leave that afternoon after showering etc. It sounded like I had been marked as a query to ensure if needed, the bed was there. That visit I remembered a bit better 😅 she took the binder off again to show me and said she was happy with how everything looked.
My nurse came back in and said she would change my belly button dressing after my shower. I managed to shower myself which I was surprised at, but so relieved. It just felt amazing to feel clean. My dressings were changed and I was then able to get dressed and put my binder back on myself. Of course, I was knackered by that time, so all I wanted to do was sleep. I was waiting on my prescription when Alex came in. The nurse read it out and I just remembered looking over at Alex thinking, that can’t be right. It sounded like the only painkillers I was being prescribed were paracetamol! Alex said, “Claire, when I had surgery on my hand I ended up with more than that, that can’t be right.” I asked Alex to get the nurse who had been with Éilís in the morning to ask her. Her face when I explained was an absolute picture! It turned out the doctor who had signed it hadn’t realised I had an abdominoplasty! 🙈 It was promptly corrected 😂 I can handle a lot, but wouldn’t have liked to be climbing the walls with the pain later thinking, why didn’t I say something?
The hospital physio visited me before I was discharged. It felt completely ironic if I’m honest. At the very beginning, we now know I should have been seen by a physio on the ward after having my son, and ever since then I’ve lucked out when it comes to physios. I couldn’t help but smile wryly at the fact I wasn’t being discharged post-op until I had been seen. She said my surgeon had told her I was pretty clear on everything I could and couldn’t do, but she just wanted to check coughing, breathing and log rolling. She readjusted the bed and when I log rolled, she told me I was really strong in doing it so she had no concerns. The coughing was no doubt the worst thing about being post-op. It is absolute agony, but a necessary evil to ensure I didn’t end up with a chest infection or worse post anaesthetic.
Before leaving, she took my blood pressure thinking she would get me to walk the corridors and then downstairs. I was game, but she decided because of my low blood pressure we wouldn’t do it. I felt able to, but this was day 1: there would be plenty time to test the waters when the time was right. She handed me a leaflet for post abdominal surgery and apologised: “you can’t do the majority on here anyway which I’m sure you know, but I mistakenly crossed out walking as well. You can walk and that’s it.” 😂
We were lucky to be staying across the road from the hospital. However, I was more than a bit mortified when Alex said he’d be taking me in a wheelchair to the apartment then would return it to the hospital. That led to a hell of an argument 🤣 but in the end I had no energy to fight him on it long enough to get my way and walk myself. I’ll probably never forgive him for making me do that. Talk about overprotective! I love him, but honestly I swear he insists on some things knowing how much it’ll wind me up!
I thought I’d struggle sleeping at night, but thankfully not. Although positioning myself took time, we got there eventually. Alex drove me crazy at times, but I can’t fault him as a nurse. He was on top of my painkillers and what I could take and when, did everything for me like dressing me, drying my hair and helping me clean my belly button. He cooked, brought everything to me and opened every door before I could even think of doing it. The odd time I slipped up, he gave me the hard stare that I’m pretty sure he reserves for me when I piss him off because, I’m ‘too stubborn.’ 🤣🙈
The second day I probably wanted to go out for a walk, but I was exhausted, and ended up napping on the couch. I hadn’t felt great that day so I listened to my body. While I was keenly aware of how everything felt like it was going better than I had expected, I knew I would now play a part in that in terms of what I was doing. The Monday after surgery, I went for a small walk and although I was walking a bit gingerly, I was pretty much straight when I was walking. I’m naturally a really fast walker, so to see Alex slow down for me was a reality check, but I knew I would get stronger at some point and wasn’t bothered how long it took, I was just grateful to be doing well.
That evening, I spotted my ankles were pretty swollen. I knew going to bed I would be immobile for the whole night and while I could have taken the compression socks off between days 3 and 5 post-op, I made the decision to keep them on at night. I also decided that on top of walking outside during the day, I would walk lengths of the long corridor in the evenings outside our apartment. Alex said it wasn’t quite 100m so I would do ‘there and back’ a few times. The first time I did 4 times, only for Alex to tell me it was quite quick so I decided to do more. Every night thereafter from then on, (with the exception of two nights when I was just too tired) I did 10 full lengths of the corridor which would take about 20 minutes (at the start) on top of any walk during the day. I wasn’t actively trying to do them quicker (Alex doesn’t believe that, but it’s true), but each time got quicker and easier. It gave me a bit of movement before bed, and equally some alone time and headspace to try and figure things out.
The next day was the only blip in my initial recovery. I noticed there seemed to be an infection at my belly button. I had been told that was really common given what belly buttons are, but I just knew it wasn’t quite right. When I explained how it looked over the phone, Éilís agreed it sounded infected and prescribed me antibiotics. I probably caught it a day earlier than maybe normal, as the next day it was red around it and looked more infected, but by that time I was already getting antibiotics into my system so thankfully, had no issues with a fever or anything else. I’ve always been hyper aware of everything going on at my tummy and that wasn’t about to change post-op. I think that’s probably why I caught it so early.
At 7 days post-op, I had my first physio consult. We discussed surgery and how I was doing and they had a look at my tummy. They both remarked how upright I was and how good it looked. I think Antony even commented I was looking ‘jacked.’ I have no idea what he was seeing, but I’ll take it 😅 The whole thing was surreal. I couldn’t believe a week had passed since that absolute blur of a day that would change my life forever. I still can’t get over it now.
The next day, Alex was leaving to swap with my Mum, who had been looking after Cailean and Emily since the Wednesday before. We had agreed it wasn’t fair on the kids to be away from both of us for so long, so Mum would come out as Alex went home. I would be on my own for about 5 hours, with Alex threatening to lock me in if he thought I was going to do anything that wasn’t allowed 🙄 I had suggested I would do my outdoor walk before my Mum arrived, but I had to compromise to my lengths of the corridor. Even then, he wasn’t happy I would be opening the apartment door myself. When he was leaving was the first time I got emotional. He had driven me crazy as I said, but I couldn’t have done it without him. Not just surgery - everything I had gone through in the last almost 4 years. He has been my rock throughout and I’m so lucky to have him.
I was probably a bit more emotional on my own between Alex leaving and my Mum arriving, so I was glad when she arrived a bit sooner than expected. During that week, I continued being able to walk more and for longer, but still listening to my body when I needed a rest.
The Monday after Mum arrived, was probably the most eventful. I thought my infection was getting worse - although that was based on how my belly button looked. It was decided that the way I cleaned it would change - no more antiseptic or ointment, just water and instead of a dressing, a panty liner inside my vest under the binder to ensure it was wicking any moisture away from the belly button. I was relieved - it previously felt like a never ending cycle where I would clean it, try to dry it as much as possible, but it would look worse again the following day when I took the dressing off.
My Mum had arrived in Dublin with conjunctivitis in both eyes, but it was steadily getting worse. I had no idea how to access doctors while we were there, but we ended up in an out of hours clinic at a nearby hospital. She had heard how awesome the doctors were and didn’t want to miss out 😂 That was probably the first time I was in close proximity to others outside of the shops in the waiting room without my jacket on. I watched two families with toddlers waiting to be seen. I’ve been that soldier many a time with my two. I suddenly thought they’re probably looking at me thinking I’m due a baby myself…only to look down and realise, “Nope. Nobody will think that ever again.” 🥹 It was the first time it hit me, but even then it felt like the feeling was barely scratching the surface.
My final appointment before going home was to get my dressings off at 12 days post-op. It was the weirdest feeling walking into the hospital and up to Éilís’ office, when the last time I had been there was my marking appointment the afternoon before surgery. I had taken paracetamol before just because I thought it would probably hurt. By that day, I had come off all painkillers and was only occasionally taking paracetamol - usually for a headache rather than anything to do with surgery. The dressings coming off wasn’t the most pleasant experience, but it was over quickly thankfully. It was the first time I got to see my scar and I know it seems strange, but I was delighted. It was the next big part of the puzzle post-op. When the nurse got me to look in the mirror once she had trimmed the sutures and cleaned it, I think I once again shook my head. I just couldn’t believe that that was what I looked like now. I still can’t. I was told the swelling below my belly button would go down and there were some cracking bruises, but I couldn’t care less if this is how it looked from now on. I’m over the moon and blown away the results. Compared to how I came into that office 13 days previously, it was night and day.
It was even harder to comprehend when the nurse took the photos and compared them to the very first consult last March 🤯 she put them side by side and said: “you can tell you’re fit and strong, but look at the difference.” I swear I feel like one of those Churchill dogs in those adverts that used to shake it’s head. I just cannot get my head round it.
Leaving the appointment though, I felt strange and I can’t really put into words how I was feeling. There was an air of finality creeping in again and I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know the words to thank my surgeon and her team for everything they had done. How can you thank someone who has had such a profound impact on your life? Who has changed your life for the better? I still can’t comprehend that this is it. I still don’t feel any of this is really real. I don’t know how, or when that will change.
My team - my physios, my surgeon and of course my husband - want to protect me at the minute. I love them for it, but there’s no denying: no matter what we all do, there is a weight of expectation and I can’t ignore it forever. Even in the lovely comments on my first update post-op, I had incredible comments like: “the whole community are wondering how you’re getting on,” “the update we’ve been waiting on,” “lots of us interested having followed your journey,” and “can’t wait to see your next update”. Even that’s hard to believe. People have been following from the beginning and they want to see it through with me to the end. It blows my mind as much now, as it did in the beginning.
I came home to my kids and my husband two days after that appointment. My son has grown up with this as much as I have lived with it. There have been times he’s been fixated on my tummy, and he completely understood everything about it getting fixed by the time surgery came. It came as no surprise then, that every single day I FaceTimed him when I was away, he asked to see my tummy. When I eventually showed him, he was speechless, which is pretty impressive for an almost 4 year old, who never stops speaking! The poor wee guy couldn’t comprehend it either.
I know it might be hard to understand why I have shared everything over the years and now I have the biggest update of all, but I’m not ready to share yet. I’m really struggling with it myself. I don’t know how I feel about everything. That’s partly why I made the decision to release these blog posts first. I hoped that if I tried to process it by writing (which has always been my go to throughout this journey), maybe I could figure it out. I’m reluctant to see anyone I know yet. I was happy in my bubble in Dublin because no one knew me there. I could go out for a walk and be completely anonymous. I go out for a walk now feeling I might bump into someone. I don’t want to hide away forever, but I’m dealing with some huge emotions and thoughts right now, after what has been years of my life.
There is one thing for certain I do know in all of this - how even more incredibly lucky I am now. Not only do I have my amazing physios, I now have the most amazing surgeon. I knew that before she even laid eyes on me in person, but throughout all of this, that has just become clearer each time and of course, no more so than when I woke up post-op. Her skills as a surgeon were never in doubt; but they were the cherry on top of an incredibly kind, caring and supportive person who got me as a person, how I felt, and what I wanted to achieve from day 1. That is everything I could have asked for and more. As with everything I have experienced throughout, there will never be enough words to express my gratitude for what my team have done and continue to do for me.
I have videos and pictures from those early days post-op. I will post these when I’m ready. I know many women following are considering or are getting an abdominoplasty, and I know maybe something I share might help. Maybe even just as reassurance that if that’s the decision they’ve made, they won’t regret it.
I have never been ashamed of getting surgery. It was very clear to me, even as early as 2020, that it would be my only option. That was reaffirmed when I was opened up. There was just no way I could do it myself: no matter what I did and no matter how hard I tried, or how long I put in the work, and I know I did absolutely everything humanly possible to try.
When the time comes, I will be putting the same efforts into my final chapter of rehab. Whilst I know they wouldn’t agree, it’s the very least I owe my surgeon and my physios. Once again, so much time and effort has been put into me and I couldn’t not repay that the only way I truly can. Even then, that probably won’t ever be enough for everything they have done for me. 🍀🌟❤️
#mybumpbirthandbeyond#diastasisrecti#postpartumrecovery#postpartumbody#pelvichealthphysio#pelvichealth#postpartum#plasticsurgery#abdominoplasty#postop
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Stream Schedule + Life Update
Let me get started with a bit of a life update because I feel like I need to lay some things out in order for you to understand the stream schedule changes. I’m going to make them as brief as possible because I don’t want to linger on anything. My focus is on my health, improving my overall life, and I don’t want anything dragging my focus too far away from that.
Back in March, my live-in partner and I split but we were still living with each other until recently. He decided to move out suddenly and has done so. I wish him nothing but the best. With that said, it has allowed me more freedom to stream as he did work from home and needed to have no background noise.
Also, streaming from the office space set up for me was hard as well as it required me to sit up, which is a very painful activity for me given how my fibromyalgia pain manifests. Now that I am no longer sharing the bedroom space, I can stream from my bed more often and in better comfort (though not complete comfort as supporting myself on my elbows does hurt after a while as well).
That isn’t the end to the changes that have happened in my life though. In July, a long time friend of mines who has seen me through quite a few relationships and even lived here for a while when I was with my ex-partner actually asked me to be their girlfriend and...yea. Now I am splitting my time between two households. To say that my Summer has been a series of interesting plot twists is an understatement!
Not to mention, I’m 60 pounds down in my weight management journey. WOOHOO! And while my pain is not under full control, I am in a regular routine with all of my specialists at this point and pain management has been very communicative with me, addressing every concern that I have and really explaining the medicines we are trying and what we are aiming for. There is also the fact that I have been off oxygen since February so progress! Of course, there is no reversing the damage to my heart but I am taking my medication to try to make sure the damage isn’t further progressed.
So, how will this all impact my stream schedule? Well, given Dion’s work schedule/days off and how I want to have at least 3 set days a week on the official schedule for you guys to look forward to (well, his schedule changed again and the 3 official day dream has come to an end so check out the P.S. update at the end of this post for a full explanation), I am going to change things to the following:
Tuesday & Friday: 5:30pm - 8:30pm EST
Sunday: 9:30pm - 11:30pm 1:30pm - 3:30pm EST
Sunday is very tentative as this will be a travel day but this was the best day to keep the schedule manageable for me with a third day. If I find that I’m canceling the Sunday stream too often because I’m tired from traveling then I’ll drop the schedule down to just 2 official days. BUT, and keep this in mind, there is so much potential for me to have surprise streams just because I am feeling up to it! I didn’t have that option before due to my ex working from home. I am hoping to do more of that!
The new stream schedule will take effect on Sunday, August 28th and is reflecting on the community calendar already. You can check that out by clicking here.
So, yea, here’s to the end of an era and surprising new beginnings!
P.S. Update: SOOOO...before this schedule change could even take full effect, my partner’s hours at work changed as they moved into ‘winter’ hours. Given his new days off and wanting to keep our routine as simple as possible, I just couldn’t fit a 3rd official day onto the schedule. Now, that’s not saying I won’t stream more than 2 days a week but I just don’t want to commit to a 3rd day. I rather have additional streams because I feel up to it and during a time that is convenient for me, not feel an objective obligation to do it because it is on the schedule and then overwhelming guilt when I need to cancel. In the end, I’m making sure to keep the balance in my life so I can be in a healthy place mentally :)
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The Old Salem Post
Our Local Tamassee-Salem SC Area News each Monday except holidays Contact: [email protected] Distributed to local businesses, town hall, library.
Volume 7 Issue 5 Week of January 8, 2024 https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/oldsalempost-blog Lynne Martin Publishing
EDITOR: People are seeking our beautiful upstate for many reasons. One main reason is to get away from development disasters created where they came from. They want a piece of land with freedom, clean air, and space away from crowds and traffic. Housing developments are now becoming overdevelopment and disgusting, with house on house and stripped land where once were pastures or beautiful shade trees. We are sacrificing our way of life when we do not speak out against this overdevelopment. Some lake properties are disgusting with house on house. One of our local golf courses looks like a crowded housing development rather than a golf course community. If you enjoy our way of life, you need to be active to save what is left of it. A fitting quote I overheard this week is from a stranger: “I think normal people are sick of where modern society is going.” LRMartin
TOWN of SALEM: * Visit the Downtown Market every Sat 8am-12pm. * Next Town Council Meeting Jan. 16th at 5pm. We will be swearing in Leigh Roach, new member on Town Council.
SALEM LIBRARY: January is National Blood Donor Month. Please be aware that we will be hosting blood drives at each of our Oconee County Public Library locations in January, per the following schedule: Monday 1/8/24 10:00a-2:00p Salem Tuesday 1/16/24 10:00a-2:00p Walhalla Monday 1/22/24 10:00a-2:00p Seneca Monday 1/29/24 10:00a-2:00p Westminster Please give, if you are able. Sign up for an appointment. You may call the Blood Connection 864-751-1168.
JOCASSEE VALLEY BREWING COMPANY,(JVBC) & COFFEE SHOP* 13412 N Hwy 11 Open Wed–Sat 9am-9pm and Sunday 2pm-7pm. Events this week: Wed: Singer/Songwriter night hosted by Rick Malec 6:30pm. Thurs: Old Time Jam at 6:30pm. Fri: Food: Blue Ridge Grill Music: Luke Deuce at 6:30pm Sat–Food: Simple Sammies Music: Cannon & Cohen Trio at 6:30pm
ASHTON RECALLS: by Ashton
SALEM YOUTH WON 1953 CORN-GROWING CONTEST (The following story was in the December 30, 1953 issue of the Keowee Courier) - Coburn Lusk of Salem High school was the 1953 winner of the annual corn-growing contest sponsored jointly by the Rotary and Lions Clubs of Walhalla for members of the Future Farmer chapters at Salem, Tamassee and Walhalla High schools. . .The winner is determined by who grows the most bushels of corn on one acre. . .Young Lusk's winning total was 90 bushels. . .The second-place winner was James Crenshaw of Walhalla with 74 bushels, and third place went to Tim Duncan of Tamassee with 70 bushels. . .The Rotary and Lions clubs have sponsored the contest for a number of years, donating the prize money which is awarded on the basis of $15 to the first-place winner, $10 to the second-place winner and $5 to the third-place winner. They also award each school's Future Farmer chapter $10. . .This year's prize money was presented at an awards banquet by J.H. Murphree, agriculture teacher at Tamassee High school. . .In addition to the three overall winners, the second-place winner at each school was also recognized and presented a certificate. They were Gerald Townes of Salem, 67 bushels; Charles Chalmers of Tamassee, 63 bushels; and Harold Bryson of Walhalla, 42 bushels
Jottings from Miz Jeannie by Jeannie Barnwell "A well-lived Life is reflected in the beautiful things that we leave behind." We know that when we depart Planet Earth that "we can't take it with us"-- the money in savings, our cars, our houses, our collected plunder. However, some of our unique creations may live on after we are gone. They reflect who we were, and we can hope that they will be cherished and passed down to our grandchildren's grandchildren. These items will whisper: "Hey! I was here. I delighted in creating this." What is something beautiful that you will leave when it is your time to embark on the next stage of the great adventure? "A quilt, a story, a well-raised child? These are the things worth collecting." Inspired by "The Collector" by Amy Silvers: Country Woman Magazine: Aug 2021 I love you Oconee. Miz Jeannie
** I hope we leave our families the passion to work hard to have something, and work hard to save it. LRM **
EAGLES NEST ART CENTER
2024 UPCOMING EVENTS January, 20th, 7pm Oconee Mountain Opry. We hope you join us for Roots music on tap with a dose of cornball comedy as Dave Donor brings a set of Cajun music, Singer Songwriter Laura Jones plays some original tunes and Ageless Acoustic brings a mix of timeless hits from the sixties and beyond. The Eagle Opry Players will present old fashioned comedy skits between the rotating sets. This is our own hometown variety show of local and regional artists like no other. Doors open at 6 show at 7pm. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased online at eaglesnestartcenter.org or at the door the day of the show. Feb 3rd, 1pm-4pm Women Encouraging Women. 2nd annual Afternoon Retreat for women to refresh and encourage your faith. Feb. 10, 7pm Trial by Fire, A Journey Tribute, $20 advance tickets $25 day of show March 2nd, 2pm-5pm Second Annual Alumni Gathering 2pm-5pm
March 16th, 7pm Oconee Mountain Opry. $10
ENAC will host the House of Raeford Farms Chicken Sale: You must order online in order to pick up your fresh chicken on Saturday, March 2nd between 9am and 12pm. Type in House of Raeford Farms, Greenville, SC and scroll down to the preorder section. *Visit our website at Eaglesnestartcenter.org for more 2024 events and ticket information.
Name a seat at ENAC! $200 Single Name. $250 for couples or families. Please call Darlene at 864 710-8758.
The Eagles Nest Treasure Store be open every Saturday morning. 9am-12pm. We are accepting donations. For more information on sponsorships, events, volunteering, donations, or rentals call 864-280-1258
CHURCHNEWS Bethel Presbyterian Church (PCUSA), 580 Bethel Church Rd Walhalla, 29691, worships at 10:30 a.m. . Like us on Facebook: Bethelpresbyterianchurchwalhalla Love to sing? Love to be in charge? Come lead! All worshipers are welcome. Boones Creek Baptist Church, 264 Boones Creek Road, Salem invites you to join us for regular worship service on Sunday morning with Sunday School at 10am and followed by worship at 11am.
Salem Methodist Church: 520 Church Street, Salem. 9am for breakfast, 9:30am for Sunday School, and 10:30am for Worship. You may tune in to our live service on Facebook or view it later on our website.
11th Annual BELLFEST 2024: FRIENDS OF LAKE JOCASSEE will host BellFest 2024 at Devils Fork State Park on Saturday, March 16 from 10am-3pm. Celebrate the rare Oconee Bell, Shortia galacifolia, local harbinger of spring. Learn about its interesting place in history and view it blooming in the park. Interpretive Bell Trail walks* Oconee Bell story presentation* Music each hour* Exhibits* Local vendors* Food Trucks* Kid and Family activities* Silent Auction to benefit FOJ * Park entry fees apply $8 Adult, $5 SC Senior, $4 Children age 6–15, % and under free. Friends of Jocassee's goal is to preserve, protect and promote natural and cultural resources of the Jocassee area and the recreational opportunities it provides. Find us www.friendsof jocassee.org or email us at [email protected]
Newry General Store: Visit the Newry General Store & Cafe for breakfast, lunch or just coffee. It is about a 20 minute drive from Salem toward Seneca on highway 130. Take a left after crossing the Newry dam. Then another left at the stop sign will take you straight to it, as you drive through the row of mill houses. It is located beside the Newry Post Office, and just up from the beautiful apartments renovated from the old Newry mill . It is a sweet stop off specialty breads, groceries, produce or a delicious dessert. Three specialty beers are on tap. You will be glad to find this little treasure that has not been discovered yet. A special event space is available to rent for your next party or celebration. LRM
Stay well! Love one another! LRM
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day 1 of being a camp counselor
i’ve been here for about 24 hours with campers. here are somethings i’ve learned about my kids aged 6-8:
- they hate listening to you when you’re telling them they can’t do something they find fun. these girls wanted to roll down a hill. in the middle of the woods. known for having ticks. they wanted to swing between their metal bunk beds. they were running at 10pm in the dark, not caring about falling and breaking something. and they won’t stop.
- they will believe anything you tell them. they think my name is toaster, that i’m 190 years old, and my parent’s names are tree and rock.
- E N E R G Y . they didn’t want to go to bed until 11:30pm last night. i get staying up late, but we are staying up until at least 10:30 tonight and i reminded them that at least 5 times before going to bed, we still had to yell at them.
- they love swimming. for our entire activity before pool, they would not shut up about going to the pool. every five minutes, it’d be like, “when can we go to the pool?” “are we going to the pool now?” “can we leave for the pool now?” mind you these are BABIES wanting to go swim in chlorinated water. why? i do not know. i also just hate pools.
- sensitive. little. beings. one of my littles failed the swim test because they kept grabbing onto the wall while taking it (whats the point of the test if we know you can just hold onto the walls?), and they would not. stop. crying. for what was probably only 5 minutes but it felt like forever. they kept saying “i hate shallow!” or “i like swimming!” even after telling them many times that i have never swam in that side of the pool (true, i’ve been going here since i was her age and still have never gone on the deep end). they eventually gave up and got their wristband because their friends got out of the water. i am so happy i will not be with them the next time they go to the pool. my break is scheduled then!
- super touchy. completely unaware of personal space. while i was working with a HOT GLUE GUN, these kids were literally, like legit, breathing down my neck. i could feel their sticky little warm bodies next to me while i was glueing these ribbons onto their little popsicle stick stars. i had to say multiple times to get into a line. they keep coming up behind me and hugging me while i’m sitting. if it happens again, i am 100% going to tell them about boundaries.
- they forget. EVERYTHING. before leaving this morning, i reminded them we were going to the pool. at least 10 times. mentioning that you need a change of clothes. guess how many kids forgot something? only two, but one kid forgot their towel, one forgot their underwear, another forgot their hair stuff, another forgot their hairbrush, etc. and none of them brought dry clothes to change into. none. we remind them to grab their water bottles every time we leave our quarters, since it’s summer in the midwest and it’s easy to get dehydrated. theres always at least two that leave them on their beds. some didn’t even bring a water bottle to camp. we have to give them leftover stock from last year. and those kids that get new water bottles? still forget them wherever they go. its wild to me how they can be thirsty, complain about being thirsty, and yet still forget to grab them.
- they don’t understand wastefulness yet. at opening fire last night, they all reapplied bug spray at least 5 times each. after being reminded that once or twice was enough. they spray it for fun sometimes. they spray it on their friends. they’re gonna run out of bug spray halfway through the week and we won’t be able to help them. they also waste food. at breakfast, only two of my campers finished their plates. there were half full or full bowls of cereal. a semi-touched bowl of oatmeal. an entire plate of just bacon. these kids want to eat it all, but they physically can’t. and they know it. but they still want to grab all of the bacon they can just because they wanna.
i will add more onto this post tomorrow on my break, because why not. i love typing out my days instead of writing them, so i might just turn this into a camp counselor blog. if, y’know, tumblr still is active lmao
#campers#kids#summer camp#i love/hate my job#its fun but i also really hate yelling at these children#two of them remind me of when i was a camper#this is hell#but also not
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12/06/23 (2/100)
Goals:
clean out fridge
do yoga/meditate/go for a walk
eat 3 full meals (+ snacks)
do something creative
Word of the Day:
Halcyon (adjective. calm, peaceful, tranquil; noun. a mythical bird.)
Song of the Day:
My Day:
7:00am - awake & took meds (only about 2-3hrs of sleep...yikes)
7:05am - answered door for groceries & put them away (it was raining and I felt bad for the man having to haul the groceries to the door, he seemed like he had a kind soul)
7:00am - made coffee (dolce de leche medium roast sweetened w/ honey)
7:30am - facetimed w/ Zan, 2 hrs (5:30pm-7:30pm his time). I saw a shark!!! (in an aquarium lol)
9:30am - made another cup of coffee (vanilla hazelnut sweetened w/ honey) and breakfast (tropical fruit smoothie made w/ oat milk, coconut water, honey, goji berries, almonds, chia seeds, flaxseed & vanilla dream protein)
10:00am - worked through/reviewed strategies for improving sleep & focus + dealing w/ intrusive thoughts & procrastination (posted strategies to blog)
11:00am - continued notes/annotation of Qur'an and Woman by Amina Wadud
12:00pm - emptied & filled dishwasher + cleaned pan from dinner last night (handwash only), then cleaned & reorganized fridge (threw out all the expired food, put all the fruits and veggies on display in clear buckets so they are visible and will hopefully be eaten instead of rotting in a drawer lol), cleaned the rest of the kitchen & finished smoothie (lunch? sorta...)
3:00pm - shower routine & after shower routine (blow-dried then straightened hair - didn't use any curl enhancing products) & simple makeup + sundress
4:40pm - facetimed w/ Zan again, 1.5hrs (2:40-4:10am his time)
6:30pm - got mail (all junk)
7:30pm - ate dinner (my brother made it) & walked to store for items that didn't come in grocery order. forgot to grab a bag though and ended up having to carry the groceries home in my arms (dropped an onion :/ )
*picked some wildflowers on the way home!!! (mama thinks they're buffalo beans) - planning on pressing them in a book later tonight (going to put them in the envelopes of the poems/letters I've written to Zan and my sister)
8:30pm - made rosemary water (smells amazing!! and has like a million uses), transferred to jar, let cool overnight.
11:00pm - nightly routine (+meditation)
Notes for Tomorrow:
fix sleep schedule!!!!
eat more (don't skip lunch again girly)
remember to put rosemary water in fridge in the morning
study!! (maybe try going to the library hmmm? could be a fun lil adventure, need a new library card anyway. Also, look into volunteering there again or see if they have any jobs available)
#collegeblr#uniblr#just girly posts#productivity#student life#student#feeling productive#100 days of productivity#productive#coquette community#coquette#coquette aesthetic#coquette core#coquette girl#coquette hair#coquette makeup#coquettecore#self care
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🐞 JunBugs Newsletter #18 🦋
Yesterday's setlist (in order)
✧ Gloomy Sunday - Sarah McLachlan ver.
✧ Thank God I'm Pretty - Emilie Autumn
✧ With Every Light- Smashing Pumpkins
✧ Departure - Ono Masatoshi
✧ Tell Me What The Rain Knows - Sakamoto Maaya
✧ I Wish You Love - Natalie Cole
✧ Gloomy Sunday - Heather Nova ver.
Also, you guys can post your own setlists and what you sang on stream as well :)
These are some songs that I been practicing for karaoke (some upon request)
Please let me know if there is a song request that you have for me, I really loved doing the "Simple and Clean" (Utada Hikaru) cover that was requested of me last week!
^ ^
=➖〰️➖=
Special thanks to the lovely co-hosts: Elizabeth and Morningstar!
Here are all of the people featured in the new photo album:
✧ Elinor
✧ Elizabeth
✧ Kari
✧ Morningstar
✧ Tails
✧ Sunny
✧ Elfiee
✧ Aiden
✧ Dakota
✧ Kurisu
✧ Valrexy
Please remind me if I forget your name, I try to remember to the best of my ability. If you would like a picture with us too, please do not feel shy about asking on stream, sometimes I don't include people because I either don't take good pictures of them or forget to while they are singing, so please let me know. I never want anyone to feel excluded!
Twitter Album 1 https://twitter.com/junithys/status/1657969515127533568?s=21
Twitter Album 2 https://twitter.com/junithys/status/1657969934373376001?s=21
Twitter Album 3 https://twitter.com/junithys/status/1657970234475843585?s=21
Twitter Album 4 https://twitter.com/junithys/status/1657970455956058114?s=21
Twitter Album 5 https://twitter.com/junithys/status/1657970615935201282?s=21
\ JUNBUG NEWS /
We reached 8,600 followers yesterday!!! Thank you so much!!! ✽-(ﾐ>ᆽ<ﾐ)/✽
Apologies if the change in schedule doesn't work for everyone, I had to put a bit of a gap between karaoke and late night gaming so I still had time to work in the afternoon and still have a small window for a nap in the morning before the first stream. I hope that the work will lend itself to being able to afford more gaming opportunities in the future, sorry again that the karaoke and the game stream aren't at the most optimal times. The new times are below with brand new time conversions, sorry if I missed your country!
\ SCHEDULE /
Morning Anime Stream ☯️ 6:30am MST︱5:30am PST︱8:30am EST︱1:30pm BST︱12:30pm GMT︱10:30pm AEST︱9:30pm JST
Open Mic Karaoke ☯️ 12:30pm MST︱11:30pm PST︱2:30pm EST︱7:30pm BST︱6:30pm GMT︱4:30am AEST︱3:30am JST
After Dark Stream ☯️ 11:30pm MST︱10:30pm PST︱1:30am EST︱6:30am BST︱5:30am GMT︱3:30pm AEST︱2:30pm JST
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A Thursday, a rest day
June 9th, 2022 - Day 1
Schedule:
Around 7:00am - We arrived at Tabaco and arrived at my Lola's place
9:30am - I slept after having breakfast and taking a shower
Around 11:00am - I woke up hearing my eleven-year-old cousin and then I ate lunch with the family
2:30pm - I did some org errands
3:30pm - I tried to draft out a Day 0 post for this blog
Around 4pm or so- My eleven-year-old cousin and I went across the street to meet one of our cousins.
7pm or so - After dinner, my eleven-year-old cousin, my father, and I went to another house in the same street to meet my other cousins which are my youngest cousin's siblings.
I have no to-do's today. I think I would have done something on my first day when I was still back at home. I love schedules. But, today, I just listened to my body and relaxed.
I slept. I took a nap. I usually never nap. Or at least never usually fall asleep when I wanted a nap. But this time I did. The bus ride left my body tense and aching so I fell asleep on the couch while my lola, grandmother, read the essay that got me first place. I didn't know my mother had that printed and packed for her. It was also a little embarrassing because the literal end scene of that essay was just a few houses away— the ricefield.
I did my errands in the bedroom after lunch. My youngest cousin was with me playing around. He was just from school when I woke up. He played me a few songs he knows on ukelele and it surprised me that the songs were of AC/DC.
My cousin across the street had a lot of cats. They didn't like me. In my almost an hour or so stay there, only the light orange cat warmed up to me. Then my Tita, aunt, came home and we talked about school and, of course, the elections and post-elections.
We had dinner. My father and my aunt barbecued pork up on the balcony, and my lola reheated the Sinigang from lunch.
Then we went to visit my other cousins and aunt on the same street, just a few houses away. It was also the house of my youngest cousin's mom and his older siblings. My father was with us too. After meeting and catching up, we left and I got ready for bed.
Music:
I could not end this post without attaching links to the AC/DC songs my cousin knew how to play on the ukelele. So, these are Highway to Hell and Thunderstruck. Not at all odd songs, but oddly enough in a conservative setting. But, go off, my cousin.
*all links are to Spotify
#summer#summervibes#philippines#2022#daily life#blog#journal#online diary#tumblr diary#diary entry#my diary#day to day#blogger#tumblr blog#home & lifestyle#art#beauty#funny#books & libraries#visual diary#dear diary#journaling#life#writers#writers of tumblr#writer things#writing#writers block
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how i've been surviving my second semester
not really big on tips with academics, more of staying and feeling alive on 12-hours class days
ive been mentioning in some of my posts that i have 11 to 12 hours class schedules this semester, and those days (wednesday and thursdays) are probably the most difficult days to squeeze in study time after class... especially wednesday since for thursday there's 4 major subjects to study for. and since the semester is ending, i'd like to share the things i've been doing because surprisingly i haven't felt any signs of burn out since this second semester.
note: i have a pretty lax schedule aside from wednesdays and thursdays this sem so most likely i won't be able to abide by these the following semester once our hybrid classes start + different schedule
1. workout first thing in the morning
started this one with just planks before and it helped me a lot with back pains due to sitting the whole day since after my last class at 7:30 pm, I would still continue to study after eating dinner, feeding Luna and so on. and recently i've been doing a 15-minute work out of 2-3 sets depending how much time i have before class starts and = instant energy boost. i noticed i didn't need to nap as much as i used to, but once i get to nap, i would feel all my tiredness from the day
2. sleep early on other days (M, T, F, St, Sn)
honestly still working on this because i like to do a lot of stuff within a day because i like getting things done as soon as possible and in advance for more leisure time + more time to do extra readings/notes and etc but this one is a necessity to lessen the probability of getting burnt out
3. supplements + caffeine
bee pollen supplement, vitamin c and collagen are the ones i take daily. aside from energy boost, as someone who hates being sick and doesn't like taking meds, i should keep myself healthy. i think caffeine, coffee speaks for itself for a 12 hr class haha
4. wednesday no-sleep
as much as possible i dont like doing this because not only is it a bad practice but since my wednesday schedule is 7:30am to 7:30pm and i have 4 major subjects on thursday, i need to sacrifice sleep to read through and study for those subjects especially during pre-exam week and exam weeks.
5. study buddies~ (+fun break times)
my group of friends from senior year has been a big help with this, we go on discord almost everyday and even though we are all from different majors (respiratory therapy, physical therapy, nursing, medical technology, architecture, marketing) we like hanging out on dc to study together for accountability and additional fun for studying :) we also have break schedules like wordle time at 12 mn where we all drop what we're doing (unless its very important) and go on wordle.
6. n a p s
this speaks for itself + i mentioned lots of times i love naps, sleeping in general since i was a kid. please make sure you take naps whenever you can, even a quick 15- to 20-minute nap could be an instant energy charger + it's also a break for our brain, to enhance memory and performance.
7. time management/prioritize
hmm another thing i'm still really working on, but since my gap year i like making to-do lists the night before and now i would make a list of things i need to do and highlight them in different colors for those i need to accomplish within the week and on another sheet of paper i would write down 3-5 tasks to get done within the day. +
8. not skipping meals
i used to not like eating breakfast but i've been practicing to do so recently because it's a necessity and since i worked out, i need to recharge or else i would fall asleep during morning class and even just a simple oatmeal is a big help with concentration (+ to avoid diabetes since both of our parent's family have a big history with diabetes mellitus, type 2) and i think there's a lot of people the same as me that when i really focus on something there's that tendency to put aside meals and eat once i get done and it's not a healthy thing to do especially since working/studying requires a lot of brain energy + energy in general, which we get from eating meals on time to avoid additional stressors such as stomach pain or headache from skipping/missing meal time. that being said, let's also eat healthily
9. cold shower before class
i swear i can never focus if i don't shower with cold water in the morning, especially with these kinds of schedule. it really wakes me up and theres a lot of benefits to showering with cold water (+ i live in a tropical country, it helps lessen me being irritable with the heat especially this summer time, specifically from 9-12nn, then i would shower again before lunch time gets done because it's also really hot at 1 to 4pm)
10. stretching
12 hours of class sounds bad but continuously sitting down for 12+ hours with pre-class and post-class study sessions is BAD. i can't begin to imagine how painful my neck, back and glutes would be if i don't move around every after 2 hours or whenever i can. im actually requesting to my mom if we could have a bar height table when we move so i could study/attend class with the option to just stand whenever i want to.
11. don't forget to wind down
personally i love going on a bike ride and walk around our village with the intention to just breathe in some air and do some sight-seeing, relax to wind down. sometimes i would do those to work out or do other exercises to sweat out the day's stress. other than those, sleep, read, watch, browse through my coloring books and do some coloring are other ways i like to wind down. another important note to not go to bed with a headache and/or get burnt out easily.
12. last but not the least, HYDRATE
water, water, water. sometimes i infuse my water with cucumber or lemon but usually it's just ice cold water in my 750mL flask and i would drink every now and then, especially when i can't focus/feel sleepy and refill at lunch, mid-afternoon and dinner. i also like drinking cold water as soon as i wake up and it's just really a necessity.
new tiktok :)
#r ene shares#r ene#r-ene#health tips#study tips#class tips#respiratory therapy#respiratory therapy student#respiratory therapy major#college#college student#college study blog#college studyblr#college blog#college life#college tips#uni#uni student#uni tips#uni blog#university#studyblr#study#collegeblr#uniblr#uni life#university student#uni studyblr#university life#university studyblr
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Yandere! Idia Shroud x Camgirl! Reader SMUT
A/N: Hello! This is my first fic I've posted on tumblr, and I'm not used to using it at all. I hope this turned out okay and you enjoy!
This is a College AU, implied magicless world, and reader is a camgirl.
This fic is purely 18+, minors do not interact.
Word Count: ~4.4k
Warnings: dubcon, brief mention of blood, non consensual drug use (aphrodisiacs)
Friday night, 11:24pm, 6 minutes before your scheduled time to start “work”. You had just finished putting on your makeup and outfit, now trying to hype yourself up in the mirror.
'I can do this. This is gonna be a great show!' You told yourself, while staring at your reflection wearing the revealing outfit. Tonight’s choice was a catgirl maid costume; the maid dress just barely covering your body and showing a large amount of chest. A choker with a bell on it, cat ears, and thigh high socks.
Giving yourself a nod of encouragement, you sat down in the chair in front of your desk, where your laptop and webcam were situated, along with your ring lights, one at each side of the desk so you were well lit for the camera. Making sure you were logged into the site, your camera angle looked good, and your laptop was charging, you waited.
You loved your side gig as a camgirl. You were able to appeal to multiple people’s sexual desires while also being able to bring yourself to pleasure, sometimes more than once per stream, if there were enough donations of course. You were also able to make a decent amount of money while doing this side job, paying for college while having fun was a pretty big plus. And, if you were gonna be honest, the validation of being attractive to so many people really made you feel a lot better about yourself.
You quickly noticed your clock switch to 11:30pm. Time to start. You clicked on the set of buttons you pretty much knew by heart to get the show started. Once it did, you started up some music to fill the silence. Just some cute electronic music to dance in your chair to while you wait for the viewers to come in. You didn’t really have as many as the big camgirls but you had a few loyal people come and watch your streams, which set your heart at ease.
5 viewers
cay-kun @ 11:31pm: wooow y/n-chan, you look so cute! excited for tonight’s show~
User18535 @ 11:32pm: fuck you’re so goddamn cute, i love your tits. can’t wait to see what that pussy looks like
10 viewers
You playfully giggled while reading the last message, winking and sticking your tongue out while flashing the camera your panties from under your skirt. While waiting for more people to join, you also made a point to talk to your viewers, asking about their day and what they’ve been up to recently, which they loved you for.
25 viewers
User58273 @ 11:34pm: You look so kawaii, I wish I could have you service me.
40 viewers
Glancing at the viewer count, you decide to officially start.
“Hi hiii~ I’m so happy to see you all here tonight! Let’s have some fun, hmm?” you started playfully. “Do you guys like my outfit?” Messages of “yes” and “yeah baby”s began flooding the chat and you grinned. “Well, I have something that will be a real treat for you all~”
You reached over to grab something that couldn’t be seen by the camera or the viewers.
~~~~~
Idia was browsing through the site full of nude streamers, trying to find a person to watch so he could relieve his tension from this week. It was midterms season and his Computer Science teachers were giving him hell by making him do in person presentations, exams, and assignments that kept piling up. It took a lot of time away from gaming and side projects of coding his own programs. He also unfortunately didn’t have his little brother Ortho with him in college, as the university didn’t allow them both to attend “as one student”. Ortho definitely eased some stress as someone he could trust and talk to, but Idia’s parents decided to keep Ortho at home to “prevent Idia from being distracted”, much to his dismay.
Idia was at least blessed to not have a roommate, so he could at least have his own privacy for nights like this. Idia’s eyes landed on a thumbnail of a girl that was dressed in cat ears and a lewd maid outfit and was intrigued. He clicked on the video icon and was met with your figure bent so that your ass was up and legs were spread on the chair you were previously sitting on. The girl on the stream had her panties down to her knees and was currently lubing up a cat tail butt plug.
“Ah, I’ve never used this before so, bear with me, please!” She pleaded, eyes looking directly at the camera. Idia was intrigued now this was her first time using it. He felt like this was perfect timing, almost like she was doing it just for him. Until he saw the comments flooding in from different people who were probably thinking the same way.
“Put it in already”
“Go slow okay~”
“don’t force yourself if you don’t want to! >//<”
“Tch,” Idia scoffed to himself. “Seems like she has simps already. No use in being interested in someo-“
“H- here it goes!” You moaned, starting to slowly shove the length and girth of the butt plug into your tight hole. “Aaanh~ it’s stretching me out...” Your eyes pricked with tears while your face contorted into pure pleasure with a hint of pain, all while staring at the camera. Every so often he could hear the little jingle from the bell on your choker.
Idia felt his pants getting tighter and his palms were starting to sweat. The face you made at him was just too unreal and he needed more. He palmed at his growing erection while you shivered at the feeling of being filled by the toy. Pulling his sweatpants down to his ankles, he started stroking his cock lightly.
cay-kun @ 11:38pm: oh y/n-chan the way that stretches out your hole is so sexy~ definitely taking a screenshot for later!
User39748 @ 11:38pm: SHIT i wish i was there fucking you with that in your ass
Blushing, you turned around so that one of your legs were in the chair while your other was up, effectively showing the camera a view of your pussy and butt plug. “What do you want me to do? I’ll just play with myself until someone makes a donation and tells me what I should do! Highest bidder within the next minute~.” With that, you looked into the camera again while soaking your middle and ring fingers with saliva and bringing them to your clit, rubbing small circles into it.
Idia realized that, even now, he wanted to have some kind of control over you. He had a lot of disposable income, being from a pretty rich family. The blue haired boy grabbed his credit card and began to type.
Ignia has donated $100!
Your eyes widened and you gasped slightly. Idia bit his bottom lip at the sight. “Ah, Ignia! Thank you for the donation, you’re new here! Welcome, what would you like to see me do~?” You smiled while looking at the camera. Idia felt like you were staring into his soul and he was sweating profusely. He thought for a minute, gulped, and decided to send a message.
Ignia @ 11:43pm: I want you to keep watching my messages and do what I say, kitten. First I want you to grab a vibrating dildo if you have one and put it at the lowest setting, then fuck yourself slowly with it.
Idia would never have the balls to be this bold with anybody. But this is the internet, so fuck it, he’ll be truthful and just say what he wanted.
You nodded and proceeded to grab one from the table of toys you had next to your desk, lubed it slightly, and did what he told you to. You moaned at the intrusion and the feeling of being filled. “Mmh, it feels so good..!” You cried out.
Ignia has donated $50!
Ignia @ 11:45pm: And by the way, call me Master. You don’t get to cum until I say so.
You shivered at this stranger’s boldness and quietly spoke, “Yes, master...” you looked away shyly from the camera and closed your eyes for a minute, thrusting the vibrating device in and out of your wetness. A couple of moans slipped through your mouth as you felt your juices spreading onto your legs.
Ignia @ 11:47pm: Faster. Fuck yourself faster for me, kitten, and put it on the medium setting for me.
You did as you were told, fingers trembling to follow what the stranger had told you. Your (h/c) hair was starting to feel moist from your layer of sweat and your body was heating up, causing your breasts to stick to the costume.
Ignia @ 11:49pm: Take your tits out and play with your nipples
You panted heavily and lowered your chest area’s covering, revealing the sheen of sweat around your tits. Flicking your left nipple while working the dildo with your right, your hands were occupied with pleasing yourself as this stranger commanded, moaning out. “Aah, m-master, f-feels so go-ood~!”
Idia was smirking, stroking hard at his cock at the sight and idea of you actually doing what he said almost made him cum then and there, but he stopped himself. He couldn’t help the rapid beating of his heart when you said the last sentence. Idia felt special. The power he had over you was addicting and he wanted to see you push yourself over the edge under his command.
65 viewers
User58273: Fuck this is so hot, I wish I could be your master too
Seeing this comment somehow made Idia seethe. He didn’t want to share you, even though this was his first stream with you. You made him feel special. He started typing out his draft of what to reply to the thirsty viewers.
Draft: Ignia: You stupid bastards, no, I’m not going to share her.
Before Idia could send the message you spoke up in a moaning voice. “*pant* N-no, my master tonight is I-Ignia, haanh~”. You were still playing with your nipples while fucking yourself well with the dildo, a light blush decorated your face and beads of sweat starting to form on the sides of your face and your body.
Idia’s jaw dropped. ‘Does she actually really want me?’ He was getting hot, too hot for his own comfort. Usually he wouldn’t last this long during his sessions but he really wanted to see you fall apart under his command. He paid for it, after all.
“Master~ I’m getting close, I- I wanna cum soon!” You whined, pleading (e/c) orbs staring into the camera with your mouth open from panting heavily.
“Cum already, don’t hold yourself back”
“Just keep going babygirl”
“Let yourself cum”
Once again, Idia scoffed in annoyance, but he noticed you never acknowledged any of the other commenters, waiting patiently for the words to come from him.
Ignia @ 11:55pm: put the toy at the highest setting, fuck yourself til you cum, then keep pumping it while you ride out your climax.
Upon seeing those words, your fingers work to put your toy at the highest setting inside your dripping cunt. You closed your eyes while you try to imagine the user who was giving out the commands, imagining them slapping your ass and fucking you until you could see stars. The feeling of both of your holes being filled was overwhelming now, and the hot feeling built up in your core faster than you realized. Idia could see it too, the heaving of your chest was picking up rapidly.
“M-,, ma- master.! I’m cumming!!!” You shrieked. Closing your eyes with your tongue unintentionally lolling out, you released a silent scream as soon as your orgasm hit. It felt like a knot inside of your body had come undone suddenly. Your orgasm had your pussy clenching around the toy that was still vibrating intensely inside of you, stimulating you longer and making you release high pitched screams.
Hearing your words before cumming had Idia teetering on the edge, but watching your facial expressions and your moans made him finish suddenly with a grunt, his pale cock spurting thick white cum all over his hand. Still, Idia kept stroking his length while you were riding out your high, overstimulating himself to match your actions on the stream.
You pulled out the toy weakly and turned it off, putting it down on a towel next to your desk.
Ignia has donated $5!
Ignia @ 11:59pm: Spread your pussy lips babygirl, I wanna see your tight hole.
User39748 @ 11:59pm: I agree with Ignia
cay-kun @ 12:00am: ah~ I also agree. Let’s see you spread it, hmm~? Oh, can you also do a lil ‘nya!’?
You checked the chat and blushed heavily, post-orgasm shyness now taking over your mind. You hesitantly shifted in the chair while spreading yourself open with your pointer and middle finger, showing off your glistening folds with your lightly abused hole. “Nya...” you held up your other hand to do the signature “catgirl” pose, playfully sticking your tongue out too.
Idia was cleaning himself off but he could feel himself twitch again, staring at your meek form. You were so gorgeous and he really wanted to see more of you, making sure to press the “Follow” button, so he wouldn’t miss another stream.
After a few seconds, you decide to end your show, feeling extremely tired and needing a shower from sweating so much. “Thank you so so much for joining me tonight! I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your evening~ take care and I hope to see you all soon!”
Small tips ranging between $1-$10 started to flow in along with messages of “take care~” “see you soon!” “great show baby ;)”.
You clicked off and you sighed deeply. Looking at your earnings tonight, you made around $200. This was probably the most you’ve made in one single stream, and $155 of that was from Ignia, a new follower and the one who pretty much commanded your entire show tonight. It really turned you on to have someone do that for you and it was the first time a viewer made you do something that felt so lewd that made you cum so quickly.
You stood up from the chair, cleaned up your desk and toys, and headed for the bathroom. Taking off your makeup in the sink, you jumped into the shower to clean yourself up.
~~~~~
Idia tentatively bit his shirt sleeve, his blue locks framing his face. Something inside of him told him that he needed to talk to you more. He had already typed out a message to send along with his friend request. He was scared - scared of being rejected by someone as pretty as you, especially now that he had already felt so attached to you, or rather, what he’s seen from the stream tonight.
Yellow eyes closed tightly as he clicked to send the friend request to you.
~~~~~
Jumping out of the shower, you throw on a head and body towel and started to brush your teeth. Walking around the room you realized your laptop was still on, and there was a notification box front and center. Curious, you clicked on it.
“One new friend request and message”.
“Friend Request: Ignia
Message: Hey, this is the user from your stream earlier. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your stream tonight. You seem nice too, so I’d like to get to know you more. If you’re interested just feel free to add me back, no pressure ofc.
Thx
Ignia”
You blinked a few times, pondering what you should do. You had gotten messages from guys before but they only said cheap compliments and asking for private shows. You were single so there wasn’t anybody holding you down and this guy didn’t seem to radiate any bad vibes. His dominant nature over chat really turned you on and you were curious about him, so you decided to accept his friend request and send a reply.
“From: y/n-kitty-cat
Hi there :) I decided to accept your message, cause why not? You shouldn’t be that creepy, right? ;P anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed my stream tonight <3 I hope you can come to future ones too!! I’d like to see you around more ;)
❤️
y/n”
You sent the message and went to the bathroom to finish brushing your teeth and your other nightly routines.
Idia couldn’t believe his eyes - you had actually messaged him back and you were really flirtatious!! That meant he was different in your eyes, right? It has to be true! He was determined to meet up with you, eventually. His dick throbbed at the idea of having you to himself, pleasing him with your mouth, doing all those lewd faces you made on the stream... his mind wandered while he pushed his pants down once again and thought of his muse who was now his “friend”.
~~~~~
After a few days of messaging back and forth, you and Ignia had ended up exchanging numbers and using text to communicate almost daily. You found out things like what your majors in college were, finding out his real name was Idia, which was a pretty unique name, and realizing you were both from the same city. Well, it’s not like Idia hadn’t already done his research - the night he became your friend he had stalked all of your social medias under a throwaway account and scrolled through every photo and bit of information he could find about you. He was becoming so hyper fixated on you he needed to know more, who could blame him? Idia just hoped he would be seeing more of you in your streams so he could watch you get off again, maybe with his assistance.
Unfortunately for you though, you realized you couldn’t stream as much because midterms were also kicking your ass. You apologized to your viewers with a blog post who luckily understood and wished you luck, saying they looked forward to your next show.
Idia couldn’t see your pretty face from the stream, which made him yearn. He told Ortho about his crush on you and when the small boy told Idia to “just tell you the truth and meet up with you!” he wanted to shut down completely. But, he wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of you being in his room, exactly where he wanted you. Sighing, he picked up his phone to send you a text.
Idia: “hey”
Y/n: “hey there! 😉”
Idia: “soo i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime”
Y/n: “omg 😱 like irl? I’ve never even heard your voice before lol”
Idia: “ik, i’m a bit shy in person.”
Y/n: “i see, so is the life of a gamer and a shut in?😏😂”
Idia: “hah, yeah i guess lol”
Y/n: “soo, what did you wanna do?”
Idia: “idk, anything you want. Except go outside. And be in public.”
Y/n: “pfft, that takes away like any idea at this point HAHA”
Idia: “ya lol i prefer gaming in my room tbh”
Y/n: “oh, then maybe we can just hang out and play games or something like that?”
Idia: “Yeah, why don’t you come over to my dorm, we could game and eat snacks”
Y/n: “Sounds great! This Friday then, 6pm?”
Idia: “Sure i’ll text you the details later”
Y/n: “Awesome :) see you in a couple days then ;)”
Idia: “cool”
Idia threw himself on his bed and screamed silently into the pillow. Idia wanted more than to just be your friend but unfortunately was also extremely shy, especially when talking to new people in person. But as he was sexually attracted to you, he knew he would have a hard time hiding it from you. He had hoped to initiate some kind of sexual interaction when you met up, wanting to indulge in your sinful reactions himself. He didn’t even want to think about anybody else seeing you like that. Idia was growing possessive and realized that if he were to get you where he wanted you, he needed to do a little bit of digging. Which meant searching the web for something that would help make you more agreeable to something sexual. He knew he himself couldn’t make you agree to it, he was too nervous to initiate that! He knew what he needed - an aphrodisiac.
Composing himself, he got onto his computer and compared his options as well as looking for advice on how to please a woman. His eyes widened and lips trembled as he realized he was definitely way too shy to initiate as much as other men do, but he was determined to try anything if it meant your attention.
~~~~~
Today was finally Friday, and the current time was 5:30pm. You styled your (h/c) locks and put on a light amount of makeup, not as much as you would when you streamed but enough to make yourself feel pretty. You also decided that you still wanted to be cute, even if you and Idia were just friends at this point, and wore a tight crop top, a high waisted black skirt, and some thigh high socks since it was a bit breezy outside. You topped it all off with a (f/c) cardigan so you could at least feel comfortable in the sleeves. Packing your bag, you took one last look at yourself in the mirror, did a little peace sign and smiled, feeling cute as hell. You grabbed your keys and walked out of your dorm, heading towards Idia’s campus.
You parked at the place he told you to and gotten out of your car, looking around for him. Shit, you just realized you didn’t even ask him what he was gonna wear or what he really looked like, which was pretty dumb in hindsight. You did catch a glimpse of a tall lanky guy with fluffy blue hair and a striped t-shirt, who was fumbling around on his phone and didn’t realize you was standing right by him.
“Excuse me,” you interrupted his peace softly, causing him to jump up and squeal in fear. “Oh!! I’n so sorry, I’m just looking for someone and I didn’t know if I was in the right place?”
Idia froze. It really was you, in the flesh, looking at him and taking his appearance in. You were gorgeous, even more so than he would have ever thought, and your voice brought tingles to his spine that made him shudder. Idia realized he was being quiet for a longer than acceptable time and he looked away. “H-hi,, y/n...” he mumbled barely even audible.
“Oh!! Idia? Is that you? Hi!!!” You exclaimed, seemingly really excited. Your mouth was curved into a wide smile too.
“Huh, you sound really enthusiastic...” Idia whispered, thinking he really said it in his own mind instead of out loud.
“Of course I am! I’m finally done with midterms and now I can relax and have fun with my new friend!” You said, bumping your shoulder with him, causing him to hold his breath.
Idia gulped when he realized what you said. Friend. Right, that’s all he was to you. At least for now. But hopefully that would change soon, right?
“Y-yeah. Let’s go inside.” Idia muttered, turning his back and walking.
Based on his demeanor, you almost forgot that Idia was the one who was so dominant during your stream the other week, since his attitude was so shy in real life. But, you pushed that thought to the back of your head, today was gonna be a fun day with a new friend, and that was strictly it. You didn’t really want to make your side job as a sex worker into a big thing that would make real life friendships difficult.
~~~~~
After he led you through the halls of the dorm, he brought you to a door and opened it up. Inside it was a bit messy, but an organized mess, one where the owner definitely knew where everything was. He had a pc setup with multiple monitors, RGB lighting which was mostly set to shades of blue, and a really nice gaming chair to go along with it. He also had a shelf with different manga series along it and other consoles for gaming, a bed, a door that led to a bathroom, and a mini fridge. Pretty nice for someone who lived without a roommate, you thought.
You walked over to his bed and flopped down onto it. Idia couldn’t help but think about the many times he had masturbated to you on those sheets that you were now sitting on. He was wondering what kind of panties you were wearing too, when he was suddenly interrupted.
“So! I guess we should get started on some games, yeah? I think I wanna play a fighting one against you! I’m totally gonna win~” You smiled up at him playfully.
Idia let his personality slip when games were brought up. “Tch, you really think you’re gonna win against me ? Think again.” The blue haired boy smirked down at you, which lit up the fire of competition in your heart.
“Let’s go then, dude.”
~~~~~
After about 15 minutes of close battles but still losing every one, you groaned and put the controller down on the floor where you and Idia were positioned in front of a monitor. You had developed a small sheen of sweat on your face from the stress. “Hey Idia, do you have anything to drink? I’m so thirstyy~” You looked at him and pouted, hoping he would maybe have some soda or water for you.
“A-ah, yes I do...” he stuttered a bit, seemingly nervous about something. He shuffled over to a mini fridge near his desk and brought out a cooler bottle. “Here, I made this sweet tea yesterday and you can drink from it...” Idia handed you the cool bottle and you observed it suspiciously. He was starting to feel his breath hitch and wondered if you had caught on.
“Hm~? Drinking from the same bottle already? So intimate!” You teased him, lightly elbowing his side. “Well, here goes nothing.” You tipped the bottle into your mouth and the tea tasted like sweet peach, with a slightly bitter aftertaste.
“Hm, it’s... interesting. What kind of tea is it?” You inquired, looking at the contents and sniffing it.
“I-it’s a recipe I found online! It looked good so, I decided to make it, I- I thought you would like it...” he shyly put down his head, trying to hide his suspicious nervousness from you.
“Okay... well it’s pretty good! I’ll drink some more, thanks for thinking of me~” you said as you gulped down the drink for a few more seconds. “Mmh! I think that cooled me down, let’s play more rounds!”
Idia looked back at you and sighed in relief. “Y-yeah, let’s do that.” He didn’t know how long it would take to work but at least he could distract his nerves by playing some games.
~~~~~
You started to sweat and feel hot. Unbearably hot. You cleared your throat and pulled off your cardigan and folded it to the side, but it wasn’t enough. The heat spread from your head, to your torso, and to your lower regions. Feeling hot and a deep... itch that you couldn't quite reach, in your crotch, you decide to change the position in which you were sitting, from crossing your legs to having them right underneath you, to feel some sort of friction in that area. You could feel yourself blushing intensely while the blue haired man next to you was still immersed in the game you both were supposed to play.
Watching him, you couldn’t help but notice the way his fingers moved on the controller, his thumbs and pointers expertly moving across it. You started thinking about how they would feel playing with your nipples and clit - wait. ‘What am I even thinking about?! Snap out of it!’ But, you also couldn’t help but think about when you were close to beating him during a round, his voice changed to a lower, frustrated one, and he even let out a little growl. Even now you noticed the way his eyes were so glued to the monitor with a small scowl on his face. Thinking about that sent throbs and heat to your growing wetness.
WINNER: PLAYER 1!
“Fuhehe, I knew I could beat you again~ but for some reason it felt like you weren’t trying as hard this round.” Idia put down his controller, finally took a glance at you, and his breath was caught in his throat.
Your (s/c) body was covered with a layer of sweat, cheeks burning and your eyes looked glossy. You were also panting slightly, rubbing your legs together softly to try to create more friction. “A-ah,, hey... do you think you could lower the temperature in here? It- it’s getting really hot. Maybe I could have more of that cold tea?” You breathed, trying to sound more stable than you were.
Idia was dumbfounded for a second and totally forgot you had drank the tea that he mixed with the aphrodisiacs. He gulped as he leaned closer to your face, observing you. “Is... is there anything else I can help you, w-with?” Idia placed a hand on the floor near your thigh and watched as you tried to scoot away from it.
“D-don’t do that... it’s...,” you whimpered, back now touching the side of his bed as you leaned away from his touch. Since when did he smell so good? His scent radiating from his proximity sent tingles across your body.
“Do what?” Idia experimentally reached out to touch your arm, fingers grazing your back slightly. You couldn’t fight back the moan that slipped out of your mouth. “Haah~ I-Idia...” you breathed, looking at him with pleading eyes. You really weren’t planning on doing anything with your new friend, so why was your body disobeying your mind?
“Y/n... you know you can tell me if there’s a-anything you need.. I’ll help you.” Idia’s eyes were still wide and the way he looked at you made you start craving. You wanted him - no, you NEEDED him to touch you more. You never really thought about it, but, Idia really was attractive. It’s not because of your hazy mindset that you realized it, but the way the blue lights illuminated his pale skin and make his hair almost glow, you were just focusing on it more. He was... cute.
“I-...” you started, looking down at his hand on your arm, and then back at him. Staring at his lips, you felt your arms move around his neck as you pulled him closer. Your lips smashed against each others messily and you released a soft whimper against his mouth. The reality hitting you, you moved your head back suddenly breaking the kiss. Your body was still hot.
“F-first...” Idia was stuttering. “First... kiss...” Idia stared wide eyed at you, lips still trembling. He blushed and turned away, his brows tilted upwards as if he were troubled.
“Oh, oh god, I’m so sorry....” you breathed out, scared you had fucked it up with your friend.
“Haah.. more...” his eyes suddenly turned back to you, seemingly darker than before. “I want more of you, y/n...” with that, he brought his lips to yours again and moved them sloppily against your own. He even took the liberty to bite your bottom lip with his sharp teeth, causing you to yelp. Idia used this opportunity to shove his tongue past your mouth and moved it against your own, causing you to moan in pleasure while you could feel your panties starting to drench.
Idia pulled away from you, cheeks tinted pink. Both of you panted for breath, your clothes now feeling sticky due to sweat. He scanned your blushing figure and saw an opening of your skirt that had shown off your lacy panties. Idia gulped and dove his head towards your clothed pussy, breathing in the essence and shuddering loudly, which made you gasp.
“Idiia, no... we, we shouldn’t...” you whined. But you could feel your body was not agreeing with your words. When the tip of his nose grazed your clit you bucked your hips against his head, letting out a moan at the contact.
He lifted up your skirt to your waist so he could see your facial expressions. Suddenly, his wet tongue experimentally slid up your clothed pussy, piercing yellow eyes locked onto your glazed over eyes. You shrieked at the sensation and felt embarrassed that he could get you like this, and you were still wearing your panties.
“Hhn, you wore these for me, didn’t you..?” Idia said, which made you blush. “No, I- I didn’t...” you muttered weakly, trying to avoid his gaze
Idia’s grip on your thighs suddenly got tighter and he looked up at you with furrowed brows. “Don’t lie to me, kitten. I know you want me, like how you did on the night we met, on your stream.” Idia firmly told you. It seemed like it was more like he was convincing himself. "N-no Idia, I... I don't want to-" you started, until you were interrupted.
Idia’s teeth bit suddenly into your soft thigh, causing it to bleed a bit. You knew it would leave a big mark later. “AH!! F-fuck!!” You grabbed onto his blue hair and felt your pussy clench onto nothing. Why, why are you enjoying this? It was like Idia’s personality had changed, from the shy person you met outside his dorm to a more possessive and rough one. You were a bit scared of him but why was he making you feel so good?
You didn’t have time to think as you felt him move the fabric of your panties to the side so your drenched cunt was fully visible to him. He stared in awe and took in everything - the shape, size, and how wet you were. You brought the back of your hand up to your head and panted with embarrassment. “Idia... mmh...”, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Your body was still wanting more and after your mind was fighting the feeling so much, you decided to let it be. “Please...”
Idia met your eyes and saw how glossy they were. He lifted your body onto the bed so that you were now lying on your back while he was still in front of your crotch. You softly breathed in and out, causing your chest to rise and fall in your sweat soaked top. He snaked a pale hand under your shirt to grope your breast in your lacy bra, cold fingers sending shivers through your hot body. Idia couldn’t resist any longer, he suddenly shoved his wet muscle onto your pussy with fervor. You gasped and threw your head back onto Idia’s plush pillow, and shoved your hand on the back of his head pushing it deeper into your legs. Idia couldn’t contain himself and moaned into your heat, sending vibrations through it. “Oh- aaanh~ Idi-aaa~....” you sighed and whined. He took this opportunity to lower the cup of your bra below your breast and pinch your pert nipple in his fingers.
“Fuck~!” you screamed, feeling hot tears flowing down your face. Your body couldn’t take it much longer. Your core was building a familiar sensation but it was all too overwhelming and coming too fast. “It feels so good!!” You squealed, squeezing your thighs together so you were caging his head. Idia focused his energy lapping hungrily at your clit and then pushed two digits of his free hand through your wet hole, pumping them in and out. Your panting breaths were becoming shorter with each pump.
“Idia~ I’m close!! I’m gonna cum..!” You looked at him between your legs, and he lifted his mouth off of your cunt for a brief second. He stared into your eyes with his yellow ones, which stared at you intensely, licked his lips, and spoke.
“Cum for me then, kitten. Don’t hold back, cum all over my face.” With that, he dove back in and pumped his fingers into your core and flicked his tongue on your sensitive pearl even faster than before. Idia’s hips were rutting on his mattress, precum wetting his undergarments.
“Oh god - I’m cumming, I’m cumming~!!” You screeched and squeezed his head with your thighs, squirting his face and sheets with your cum. His tongue darted around your pussy licking off your juices. You breathed heavily, riding out your high. It took everything in him to stop himself from cumming right then and there - he wanted to save that for later.
Idia leaned up to where you were and kissed you passionately, and you could taste yourself all over his mouth. You moaned at the taste of your own juices on his tongue. Still exhausted from Idia eating you out, your body somehow craved the feeling of being filled. You sat up and got up from the bed and for a second he was afraid you were getting ready to leave. You removed your drenched shirt in front of him as well as your skirt, underwear, and bra. Still wearing your thigh high socks, he stopped you before you could remove them. “I, I want you to keep those on...” he licked his lips as he stared at your socks squeezing your plush thighs, the mark he made earlier with his teeth was visible and bruising now.
Following your lead, Idia was removing his own garments, tossing his shirt to the side. He was lean, not too skinny but not muscular either, pale all over. He also removed his pants and swung them over to the floor. Idia avoided your gaze as his erection was now very much so noticeable in his boxers, and you could even see a dark spot where his precum had made a mark. You felt your vagina tremble at the sight of it. It’s been a long time since you’ve had a partner and the anticipation was starting to get to you. As for Idia, well, everything was his first.
You knelt down in front of his bed and his legs and reached out to touch the head of his penis through the boxers, making him twitch and breathe out. “Mmh,...” you pulled down his underwear to reveal his lengthy cock. He wasn’t extremely girthy but he made up for that in length. The head of it was a shade of pale pink and dripped with clear liquid. You took some of the clear liquid in your hand and began teasing the head of his dick. Opening your mouth, you also gave it a few kitten licks while you pumped the base. Idia let out a few grunts and threw his head back, causing you to grow wet again.
Idia felt himself getting too close to orgasm which made him grab your head to stop you from going further. He lifted you up again and placed you on his lap, your dripping cunt hovering over his standing cock. Your body was hot again as you stared into Idia’s yellow eyes, a pink haze dusting his pale cheeks. Remembering he was a virgin, you looked at him hesitantly. ‘I- I don’t know, are you sure you want to lose your virginity right now?’ was what you were planning on saying, until he spoke up.
“Y/n... I need you. I’ve been wanting to do this to you for a while. I- I'm gonna put it in...” Idia whispered, panting slightly. As he was lowering your hips, you couldn't say anything as you felt his tip graze your wetness and you whimpered at the feeling. He kept bringing your hips down until you felt him all the way inside, head of his dick kissing your cervix. You threw your arms around his neck and moaned into his ear, causing a grunt from your partner. Not giving you time to adjust, Idia started thrusting in and out sloppily into your hole, squelching and moaning sounds filling the air of his usually quiet dorm.
“Oh Idia, please, pleasepleaseplease-!” You screamed, not even knowing what you were pleading for. Your (h/c) hair was sweaty and you felt your eye makeup starting to run with every tear you shed. Idia’s loud grunts filled your ear, causing your heat to build up.
“*pant* Mmh, y/n...” he paused and started thrusting into you slowly but hard, pulling you back so his forehead could touch with yours, blue hair still frayed in his face. “You have, *pant* no idea... I would masturbate to your pictures every. Single. Night. I jerked off on these sheets and used your photos of you smiling, you weren’t even *pant* n-naked... Does that, *pant* make me a sick pervert? No matter, you're here with me now, and I'm mmh, making you feel good, right?” Idia confessed, yellow eyes staring into yours with infatuation and obsession. You felt your breath hitch in a feeling familiar to fear. He was lovesick. Not the same person you thought you were messaging for the past few days or gaming with earlier. He looked deranged.
“I... Aaanh~!” You were cut off by a particularly hard thrust into your cervix. Idia licked your neck while thrusting into your abused hole. “I’m gonna breed you, kitten. W-wanna see you drip with my cum.. mmh, you want that?”
You were so close to your release that you didn’t even care about what he was saying. “More Idia, more!!” You breathed. Closing your eyes and now using your own hips to grind into his cock.
Remembering a particular position that grabbed Idia’s attention, he lifted you up, dick still hard inside of you. He placed your back on the bed, your head on his pillow while he brought your legs up to your chest. Idia continued to thrust into you, your face now in full view. He held your wrists in one hand above your head so you couldn’t hide your face from his eyes.
“Idia...” you breathed out. “I- Idia!!!!” You felt your orgasm approaching fast while he pounded into you relentlessly. “Haaanh~ I’m close!!” You moaned shamelessly.
“Hnnh, that’s r-right, y/n... mm, cum for me...” Idia breathed out in between his panting. With that, Idia thrusted faster until the knot that was building in your lower regions finally released. “Aaanh~!! I’m cumming, Idia, c-cumming all over your cock!!” Your face contorted into one of full bliss, eyes looking straight into his with your mouth in an o-shape. The walls around Idia’s length clenched tightly, milking him of his seed. Idia came suddenly with a groan, pumping it deep within you while riding out his high. "Fuck, y/n!!"
Idia rolled you both to your sides, his dick softening inside you. You both panted hard as you faced one another. You opened your eyes to find him with his eyes closed, blushing at the sight of your naked bodies still intertwined even after your climaxes. “We, we actually did it...” he whispered and opened his eyes. “!!!!” He made a mildly surprised noise, eyes widening and turning away.
“Eeh?! What’s wrong!?” You said, wondering if something was on your face. “N-nothing it’s just.... I’m surprised we... you.. you’re staring at me... I’m sorry, I’m still not used to people doing that...” Idia said shamefully, darting his yellow eyes to and from you periodically.
You couldn’t help but giggle. “Eek!! Why,, are you laughing at me?” Idia frowned and hid his face in the pillow. “Well.. your personality is different when you’re having sex versus not. It's interesting.” you told him, tracing a finger along his arm.
Idia blushed intensely, throwing his arms around your neck and hid his pale face in your neck. "Mmph..! I-, I like you, y/n..." he breathed into your neck. "I wouldn't be able to handle you doing this with another person so... will you be mine?" Idia pulled back to watch your face as you contemplated.
Idia's words from earlier suddenly flooded your memories. He looked insane when he confessed to his perverted actions and it evoked an uncertain emotion akin to fear. Your body felt paralyzed. But in the moment, with Idia's lightly pink tinged skin and unsure eyes, you had to admit it made your heart flutter, too.
"Yes, Idia..."
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Video
Panic! at the Disco on New Year’s Eve 2007
aka December 31, 2006...
This was the night that really showed how far P!ATD had come in just one year. At the start of 2006 we were excited because the band was getting ready for their first official tv performance on Carson Daly... and at the end of 2006 they were in Times Square headlining NBC’s New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly.
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That commercial aired around mid-December. Carson Daly also hyped P!ATD in various interviews in the last half of December (including his appearance on Conan O’Brien). A lot of articles had been talking about the upcoming NYE performance since November too. Lying Is The Most Fun was the band’s latest single that they’d been performing during tv appearances in late 2006, and then IWSNT was in a lot of “Best of 2006″ lists and had become the song people kind of expected to hear since the VMAs... so I don’t think anyone was too surprised to see that P!ATD was scheduled to play those two songs.
THE PERFORMANCE
The show aired from 11:30pm – 12:30am but Panic! at the Disco’s performance was pre-recorded around 4 hours earlier. There were a lot of artists performing on different stages for various stations that night (and some stations used performances from indoor stages and other cities too). P!ATD was scheduled to play from around 7:35-7:45 on the Countdown Stage at Duffy Island. My Chemical Romance was the last performance of the night (they were done around 11:30). The people who had been in Times Square explained the exact same thing to us... and it sounded like P!ATD might have played Lying Is The Most Fun twice for the taping.
So P!ATD headlined NBC’s show with Carson Daly and it looked like they were playing live around midnight (if you didn't notice that the “live” sign in the corner had vanished ha). Here’s the introduction that played before it cut to Carson Daly in Times Square:
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(if that gets blocked then here’s a fan’s recording of their tv).
So the first song that P!ATD played was Lying Is The Most Fun (if this gets blocked then here’s a tv recording and a fan’s perspective of the footage playing in Times Square):
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The countdown is still in the corner of that video because the song was shown on tv before midnight. Then the ball dropped and P!ATD’s performance of IWSNT was shown after midnight. Here’s the partial version that’s still up... I stuck the intro at the top of this post because it’s too adorable to leave out (and here’s how it looked on tv).
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Most fan commentary that I remember revolved around the total lack of Jon Walker (seriously, though – Bartram was shown more often than Jon). I was still interested in the shots of Bartram, though, because he had posted ”if you live in New York City, please bring me a scarf” on his myspace and I half expected to see him buried under a pile of scarves haha. Otherwise, a ton of fans were weirdly focused on zooming in on poor Brendon’s cold sore to discuss if he had herpes. Glad that was the main takeaway for the night.
WHY I DON’T THINK THERE WAS ANOTHER SECRET SONG:
Ok so a lot of fans were saying that P!ATD performed Imagine for the crowd and it wasn’t shown on tv. They said that you could hear it in the background when Carson Daly was talking, so by January 1st people were trying to hunt down footage of this mystery performance and they even mentioned it again in 2008. (It’s important to note that most fans were completely convinced that the band was actually onstage right before & after the ball dropped). Imagine was played in Times Square right before midnight. You can hear it here while Carson’s talking. I think some people maybe assumed that the music must be coming from a band onstage... and the performance of Lying Is The Most Fun had just been shown so maybe they thought P!ATD was still playing. That’s my best guess.
THE AFTERPARTY
Tinsley Mortimer hosted a NYE party at Japonais that cost like $175 – $350 per person. Some sites only listed Pete Wentz as the special guest for the event, but other articles & blogs posts in December listed both Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco as the guests (so we knew that P!ATD probably wouldn’t be at Carson Daly’s party).
There were a ton of pictures from this party passed around in early January. I thought the funniest pics were the ones of Jon Walker trying to just eat his meal in peace... I still remember one fan’s comment about how if Jon didn’t want to be bothered then he should’ve eaten onstage where nobody would’ve seen him lol.
here’s my NYE tag for pictures
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