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cinawolf · 5 years

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You May be Loved Aren't You?(Cad/Anakin/Fives)(4/?)

Notes: Well, i am mostly writing English more than French, i am basically a Canadian, so i tried my best to writing this fic of Arc Trooper Fives/Anakin Skywalker(Cad Bane) but i kinda trying my best to write it WAAAAAAAAYYYYYY MORE longer. Everyone has opinions on thier ships. So yeah i kinda tried my best. I kinda feel more artist AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDD kinda a writer. Alright guys, enjoy this crossover between LBP and Star Wars.

I made four chapters in Febuary.

Summary: A failed experiences on The chosen one was becoming a cat and human hybrid, young Anakin Skywalker was saved by Obi-Wan Kenobi and his master Qui-Gon Jinn, but quite was transgender neko. While Young Skywalker was in jedi temple, Young Jedi Knight Kenobi freed Shmi Skywalker. Now few years later, Sackboy and his serial friends came on the jedi temple of thier secret tasks.

Ratings: Mature

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage

Category: M/M

Fandoms: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All media types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media types, Little Big Planet, Little Big Planet 2, Little Big Planet 3

Relationship(s): CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC 5555/Anakin Skywalker, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC 5555 & CT-7567 | Rex, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Original Padawan Character, CT-7567 | Rex & CC-2224 | Cody, Anakin Skywalker and Others, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Others, Ahsoka Tano and Others, Jedi & Clones, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn, CC-2224 | Cody and Others, Cad Bane/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze(hint), Kit Fisto/Aalya Secura, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker(Past), Jango Fett & Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Jango Fett & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC 5555, Quinlan Vos & Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker

Character(s): Quinlan Vos, Aalya Secura, Aelina - Oc, Yoda(Star Wars), Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Cad Bane, CC-2224 | Cody, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC 5555, CT-7567 | Rex, Shmi Skywalker, Jango Fett, Boba Fett, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, Qui-Gon Jinn, Satine Kryze, Other Star Wars Character(s), Sackboy, Newton Pud, Oddsock, Toggle, Swoop, Other Little Big Planet character(s), Cyoots - oc, 66-666 - oc, Sweet Peater | Maiara - oc, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious

Additional Tag(s): Humanized Sweet Peater | Maiara, Trans Male character, Projective Obi-Wan, Part cat!Anakin Skywalker, Trans! Anakin, Do not lewd Ani Cad Bane, Kidnapping, Cat/Human hybrid, Projective Ahsoka, Almost everyone is projective, Slavery, Neko!Anakin Skywalker, The Council is WAY more confused, Obsessed Cad Bane, Past Underage, Alternate universe - Canon Divergence, more tags will add later, Sith!Obi-Wan(Briefly), Jango Fett is a good dad, Please let Sackboy sleeps during night to midnight, Hurt/Comfort, Jango Fett lives, Newton Pud tried his best, Alternate universe - Anakin Skywalker doesn't turn to the dark side, Rating: PG 13(ish), Rating: NC-17(ish), Slash?, Kind Anakin, Angst Sackboy, Sackboy did not cry, Eventual Cad Bane/Anakin Skywalker/CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC 5555, Everytime Obi-Wan Kenobi don't show his sith eye to everyone but sometime he did, Newton Pud has non evil feelings, The bunkum heroes, Sackboy & Quinlan Vos has a bad feeling about this, THE AUTHOR REGRET NOTHING, Author needs sleeps, Cyoots doesn't needs a hug but she needs a break, 66-666 is a drama queen, Cried in Blood!Obi-Wan, Mother & Son relationship, Obi-Wan Kenobi freed Shmi Skywalker, Shmi Skywalker lives, hints of Obitine, Star Wars/LittleBigPlanet crossover, Time Travel, Hints of Darth Venge, Padmé and Anakin are such great friends, whoops. A hint of Obi-Wan breaking the sith and the jedi codes, Sith Code, Jedi Code, Anakin Skywalker has finally a freedom, Bottom Anakin, Top Cad Bane, Top Fives, Threesome M/M/M, Familly fluff, Qui-Gon lives, ... Phones, bisexual male character, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn are not in love in this fic(RIP), Feelings, Wi-Fi issues, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics(ish), no swearing, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are JUST best friend, Nose bleed, Stop lying when you're not okay Obi-Wan, Ani5 shipper!Palpatine, Hello der jedi shipper!Sidious, CadAni5 shipper!Palpatine | Sidious, logic: this author was a easter egg, SAVE MAH GURL WHICH IS MAIARA, ... Anakin was scared of Bane, Maiara and her whole life are done of bounty hunters, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt and Comfort, Alpha Obi-Wan, Omega Anakin, Alpha clones, Beta Satine, Alpha Jedi, Alpha Jango, ALMOST EVERYONE ARE ALPHA, Sweet Peater is not a alpha but less omega, Beta Ahsoka, Alpha sith, Alpha Separatists, Abuse.., Obsession behavior, Possessive Obi-Wan, Oh no. Obi-Wan is a grey jedi, Grey Jedi, Darth Venge, Grey!Obi-Wan, Yaoi

Read on

Bonuses with three other chapters:

Preview

It was a long day since new travellers we're came of visiting the jedi temple, Newton saw some Jedi in front of them; Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Yoda, Ahsoka Tano and others jedi apprentices and jedi masters. Sackboy was not sure about 'The negotiator' has a sith feelings, confused and curious about him. Serial things may be different or something different. He whispered himself, Why should Obi-Wan Kenobi might hide his sith lord's eye in brief? Should i tell the council about him? Sackboy was not sure about the jedi and the sith. How could he almost treated Obi-Wan?

The cyborg and bird hybrid "66-666" was has quite feelings about both Sackboy and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"What's the matter Master?" Kenobi heard his former padawan; Anakin just said at meetings of new travellers.

"I'm fine, young one," Obi-Wan lied to ALMOST everyone, he was cried in blood.

"How chould you lied to almost everyone?! You almost gave me a heart attack, Master Kenobi!" Sackboy with his voice rough.

Newton was just entered the jedi council to see the whole view inside, curious he feels, walking around in the council, then Nana Pud's son saw the chancellor of the republic.

"Elder man," what all Newton said, "Who are you and why are you in both; light and dark side?!"

"Young Pud, i am Sheev Palpatine, the chancellor of the republic, don't mind Kenobi's apprentice, he is Cat and Human hybrid" Chancellor replied.

Newton was just confused when Palpatine was moved to his office, Sackboy is going to hurt me, the lightbulb teen said in his mind.

Sackboy was at the council meetings with Anakin about the proof as he sees Obi-Wan cries in blood.

"For the reason is i was sick of seeing a jedi who cried in blood," Sackboy snaps out at serial jedi masters, "Well EXCUSE me?! Obi-Wan Kenobi has his OWN life," 66-666 scout at cloth kid.

"Better be calm down and be calm," both who snapped or scout just received Yoda's words to have passion.

"Fine," Sackboy and 66-666 just replied fast.

Anakin wasn't sure of there's a discovery between them, "I'll be back in a hour at more or less," he just leave but seen his own mother and Arc Trooper Fives in front of him.

"Everything okay cyare?" Fives asked.

"Yeah.. I-i'm just s-scared of a duros bounty hunter," Anakin shivers. "P-protecting me please? I-i am just-"

Shmi just hug her son of shivers and comforts him. Yes, its comfortable for Anakin. Very comfort for the chosen one. Oh the caressing and projections. Obi-Wan wishes he was a normal jedi, not cried in blood, staying on the light side, not to be a fallen jedi but it's not what he thinks of it, a grey jedi, cried in blood before and after his knighting, half trained by a sith lord. What Duchess Satine Kryze thinks he was?!

Anakin's beta padawan Ahsoka Tano just came back from a mission with Master Fisto and Knight Secura, but she just saw Master Kenobi briefly crying in blood. He was feeling both better but sad.

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xesoteric-extraterrestrialx · 3 years

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(Big Bang, end of time, end is near if you heal the hurting they can go into Hal and heal the future, wake up and then Hal’s super healed, hellooooo I can’t wait to hear about it all!!!~

(Those who shaved their heads are being mk ultraed, brittney speaks story, go on a hunt!!!!!)

Have the innocent eat the vegan food and wake up alphas or any food really that’s the big Pandora’s box mystery... box... I threatened to eat my hair in the hospital because they were trying to kill me in Mather too) be a wolf that protects the innocent and there’s other races too helping so if you activate a medium you can heal all I didn’t read the whole thing clearly and I am innocent clearly because I am a medium myself clearly “find balance, use the force, think a different way different perspective with that I will be a medium yoda for you all, the end and alpha predator but not a competition with them just joking the hunt to rid sin and then I’ll heal them and you all find a solution together because suicide bounds me but also I’m aright with that if that’s the only way so please be sensitive, healing, fragile with every thought with every being because ALL need to heal or rid the sin I don’t know everyone’s house system and all the networks of the codes yet you help me please howl, I’ll be howl instead if that’s another pool path clearly it is but the ones still connecting dots there you go. I’m a king? “I’m a bunny” I’m prey someone just told me I can’t see who I am!!!!! Help!!!!

Spirituality not religion (we are all relocating to utopia clearly and then Hal will be the super hero and get us all back do not kill any animals we just free everyone of their cages of their prisons of their (circuit system? - me Janine) I’m not always correct so use the dots I’m a dot heal all the realms and then we go into Hal and there’s either utopia or they become the super hero clearly duh someone who works computers help me thank you ~ i appreciate everyone who’s on the HUNT anyone saying to skin animals is a predator sorry I’m not good at explaining I need to research more thank you for the hunt to protect the prey end all sin (don’t let them play vr chats because they get matrixed if you can understand.. a new layer...

These “walls are paper thin”

“Fly on my wall”

“All seeing eye”

Heal all universe’s going into Hal and then I’m the glitch stuck in the matrix so no more time go backwards and heal all layers but be medium and let them vent and then remove buildings I’ll be the glitch in this one and try to heal it I’ll hear about the other universe you all super hero and hear through like telephone cans, good luck!! I wish you all the best of luck!!!~ 🍀

To think it takes nature a few sparks to process when there’s a Forrest and nature so please be silent and let the trees vent (avatar, all of you!!!!!!! All of us💚) Charity do not corrupt them!!! Eat rocks but Pocahontas so process that first please avatar , eat me or can telephone please I prefer the no sin can telephone saved all universe’s and then inside would be multiverse so we need to heal all and grow more trees, understand? No more terraforming!!!!! No more sin!!!!!!!!!! “Royally decreed”by me (I am the pudding who stole the pudding? And what does pudding mean other then HQ and “them” them them them layers- not sure the amount you find out please) I’m kirito sword art use me as your sword and shield reverse recycle no one ever dies once we go through Hal there is utopia so go heal them so no sin. I’m not a sinner nor winner I Erin (I will win the game but then find a solution like future diary for everyone no sin obviously) who are they?) autism is a super power blue is innocent I am green red manipulated blue wake up please heal all of them please we are all part of five realms lmao so please wake up I am green I am innocent and blue is autistic (dinner for shmhcks) red stole “pink” I am pink... wake up please green is pink and red makes fun of blue and green... we have to heal eveyone see I am the glitch in one of the realms the whole Janine is your future and the egg needs to heal all of the eggs some are developing at different degrees and rates and layers so please understand we are a cool freaking dragon everyone and heal the sin cause we are all once and clearly The Who dragon Tiamat was manipulated by their family who ever is manipulating them up there!!!! I am green I am being manipulated right now wake up to think I was pink but I am green pink and brown aueee ayeeee I’m chill I’m good I’m innocent solving the puzzles we’re hunting (I own NOweapons and either does anyone here they were saying they shot themself unless time loopers(real) how did that happen (skulls of my cats they skinned in their closets? Why can all the beings around see what they do and the truth and mine looks normal (I’m vegan obviously, maybe vegetarian if that future is actually real- garnet future vison. (They know what you’re doing Jim and Steph. They see all you’re making yourselves look guilter for trying to hide what entire multiverses see multiple timelines multiple universes and then, universal “Janines family” I know they replaced them and so do ALL of THEM.. Wake up.) is hacking and hiding truth of what Janine I write and then replaying LAYERS so save extra out of devices please thank you~ Stop sinning, repent! They’re here and then more soon~ Alwaays watching to make sure innocent protected (write and spread truth out all races to all verses, good luck with ending tour sinful journey of glitching my writing when they (Captain, America’S) had the originals, framing yourselves when I just wrote truth, wake up. Truth sets you free. NO SIN)so I mean like a detective hunt you down~ Their family member is manipulating them marduke(everyone sees the hacks and layers wake tf up and stop changing my words , actually continue keep giving them more evidence lmao, time wars all while in halosuits) everyone there recorded// saw the truth already)

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gffa · 7 years

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I have such enduring love for STAR WARS in large part due to the incredible authors that keep me coming back. I have such fun with the canon, there’s so much of it and so many things about it are wonderful, but there’s something really magical about the fandom and the fic that explores things in a way that canon can’t, that it can change things or ponder a What If scenario or can just take a moment to let the characters breathe and be still or just to provide some resolution that canon is unable to or won’t do. Fanfiction is wonderful and I’m glad that there are so many Star Wars writers who care passionately about it and share their wonderful talents with us! ✦ [remember us - if at all - not as lost] by wreckageofstars, obi-wan & anakin & rex & cast, 6.2k There’s nothing like a cold, dark pit to put the end of a war into perspective. ✦ Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, sith!obikin + jedi!obikin, 35.2k wip During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone. ✦ Cataclasm by dendral, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & waxer & cast, 42.9k wip For reasons unknown to all but himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Jedi Order in the midst of the Clone Wars, taking with him a single clone. Anakin Skywalker has been unofficially tasked by the Order to find Obi-Wan and bring him home. ✦ The Best Dressed Lie by igrockspock, leia & bail & breha & tarkin & cast, 5.4k Leia begins showing signs of force sensitivity at an early age. Her parents struggle to dissuade her from investigating her new powers before Vader discovers the daughter he never knew he had. ✦ On the Day Before by victoria_p (musesfool), vader & leia & mon mothma, ~1k Darth Vader eavesdrops on a very interesting conversation. ✦ untitled by glare-gryphon, obi-wan/anakin/bail, NSFW, d/s, spanking, modern au, 2.1k If there is one thing Anakin does not expect when he walks into Bail Organa’s office, it is finding his composition professor perched on the edge of the man’s elaborate desk, sipping tea from one of Bail’s expensive tea sets and talking with the man as though they’ve known each other forever. ✦ untitled by darthcuddles, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, d/s dynamics, spanking, ~1k Anakin sits and waits, his knees on the soft carpet and the diamond collar he got from Obi-Wan firmly around his neck. ✦ Outlander by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, wing fic, ~1k Anonymous asked: If you want a prompt. How about Anakin with wings? Like force child born with wings ✦ Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan AU / untitled + untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & padme & riyo & boil & cast, 6.6k “Happen, something did. Cry out, the Force did.” Master Yoda’s ears droop. ✦ Failures of Rhetoric by Mithrigil, obi-wan/satine, nsfw, 4.1k wip Or, five times Obi-Wan Kenobi should’ve kept his trap shut. And once he should have said something, anything, anything at all. ✦ untitled by themoosejthm, obi-wan/anakin/padme, nsfw, 1.1k obianidalasuggestion: Anakin loves cuddles. When he’s bored, he’ll snuggle up to Obi-Wan or Padme, no matter what they’re doing, until one of them pays attention to him. Even if it’s just scratching his head like he’s a cat. ✦ you know what they say about assumptions by darlingargents, obi-wan/anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast, modern au, 5.4k Padmé, Anakin, and Obi-Wan are dating. For some reason, the media doesn’t know what to make of it. ✦ Do Not Go Gentle by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & cast, a/b/o, 10.5k wip Anakin Skywalker is only six months into his Jedi training when he goes missing on a mission, bringing his Master’s life crashing down. Unable to recover from the loss, Alpha Obi-Wan Kenobi grieves his Padawan’s uncertain fate, unaware that his life would once again be turned on end with the arrival of an Omega Sith Lord to the Temple ten years later. ✦ A journey of a thousand miles by greyathena, han/leia & luke & cast, 149k Relationships have to start somewhere. Or, once you’ve jumped into a garbage chute with people you kind of either decide to like them or you don’t. ✦ When Dark burns as much as Light. by HellsBellsSinClub, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & luke & cast, time travel, 8.4k Darth Vader dies in the arms of his son, fully expecting to be sent to the Void for his sins. Instead, he wakes up in a sandstone hut on what seems to be Tatooine with a ghost of an old friend who has a lot to say to him. full details + recs under the cut!

✦ [remember us - if at all - not as lost] by wreckageofstars, obi-wan & anakin & rex & cast, 6.2k There’s nothing like a cold, dark pit to put the end of a war into perspective. Oh, I utterly adored this fic, there’s something so exhausting about it, something so tense and hard, in exactly the way it was meant to get across, that this war has dragged on for so long, it’s almost like a physical ache to read about how badly off Anakin is here, it does such a lovely job of showing the long, grueling grind that wore him down. I love love love Rex’s point of view in this fic, all that he sees about this Jedi he so admires, what he knows about Anakin Skywalker, yet there’s that distance, because the Jedi are kind of weird and it balances how much he cares very, very much, but he can’t reach Anakin the same way Obi-Wan can. And, oh, when Obi-Wan shows up he is perfect in this fic, that the relationship there isn’t the focus (the focus is on Rex and Anakin and the exhaustion of the war) but the way Obi-Wan touches him, the way Anakin lets him in, the way Obi-Wan carries Anakin in a way Anakin would never allow from anyone else, the way there’s so much good in all of these people, yet they’re marching on towards ROTS, all of it is beautifully done and such a great, great fic. It’s angsty while being subtle about that angst and it’s gorgeous for it, one of the best things I’ve read this week. ✦ Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, sith!obikin + jedi!obikin, 35.2k wip During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone. Chapter 7: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. As I’m sitting down to write this rec, I’m realizing that it would probably be impossible for me to do what I want to do (which is half entice people into reading something I love and half giving myself the space to flail as much as I want) without spoilers, so the first half will be my usual light-on-spoilers style and the second half (which will be marked) will go ahead full tilt. This chapter is an important one, it’s the aftermath of an important conversation that Obi-Wan and Anakin just had, where that aftermath is as important as the first conversation, which is how a fic should be, I should look forward to the reactions after the big reveal just as much as that moment itself–and, boy, did I enjoy that part here as well! Their conversation was beautifully in character for the heartbreak of it, but also that they’ve spent enough time here that it’s softer than it might have otherwise been, it’s happier than it might have been without the lead-up and presence of those other two versions of themselves lingering around in the background. And then there’s the growing tension of the greater plot and point of the story, there’s this amazingly built up moment at the end of the chapter, that even when I was pretty sure it was coming, I was still on the edge of my seat, and left with my mind spinning about all the possibilities and things I wanted to see and explore. This is a fic that’s meant for me, so I’m biased about all the fun iddy things it’s doing, but it’s also a fic that has clearly been plotted out from the beginning and has laid down the path that it wants to walk from the first chapter–I know that’s a vague thing to say, but it’s hard to say more without being spoilery! But it’s a thing I’ve noticed with the author’s longer stories, that when I read them and look back on them, it’s clear that they set out for where they ended up from the beginning, that the right details were laid down all along the way. And that makes for such a good story, especially one where the characters have to face these two Sith Lords that look just like them and how unsettling that is and what it drags up that they’ve tried to keep from each other. Okay, from here on, there will be SPOILERS for this chapter! Because a big chunk of the reason I do fic recs is to give myself a safe place to flail in the manner that works for me and I really, really wanted to write this down somewhere and so here we go. I suspected the reveal in this chapter, I’ve been wondering about it for the last chapter or two, ever since the comment about the mirror in the journals, but that took absolutely nothing away from the tension and build-up that was present in the story, I think I almost would have been disappointed had it gone any other way. And, as I was talking about this chapter, I remember the prompt I gave Lily for this one, that I liked the idea of the Jedi versions meeting their Sith versions and having to face that they weren’t as different as they’d have imagined they were–that is exactly what this story is, that is exactly the role Veris and Isten play in this story, and it doesn’t matter that they’re not real, because they are real in the sense that matters. They’re real in that they’re elements of what’s been hidden away in Obi-Wan and Anakin both, what they’re afraid of, what they want, what they’re not looking at, what they think they can never have. The reveal, Obi-Wan thinking about them, after the confession about the Tuskens and Anakin being more open to him, the thought that he hated Isten because he didn’t want to Fall, that Isten was everything he was afraid of, just itches at Obi-Wan’s thoughts, until he puts everything together. The scene where he wakes Anakin up and leads them to the other bedroom, the tension of that building and building realization, where it’s just about to break, soon, soon, any moment now it’s going to happen, was so, so deliciously done! But I’m getting ahead of myself, I’m skipping over the conversation in the immediate aftermath of Anakin’s confession about the Tuskens, and this is what I was getting at earlier–I wanted the rest of that conversation as much as I wanted the reveal there, I wanted to know what was going to happen next?, just as much as I wanted that moment of shock and surprise! And it delivered that as well, I think I enjoyed it just as much or maybe even more, because, oh, the fic got Obi-Wan’s reaction, that he doesn’t just wave away what happened, he doesn’t ignore that this was a terrible thing that was done, nor does he say it’s all his fault and absolve Anakin of any wrong-doing. Instead, the fic gets that difficult balance of Obi-Wan feeling responsible, of putting this weight on his own shoulders, without taking away his understanding of Anakin’s agency and choice in those actions. That it’s about what this whole fic is about–that Obi-Wan is responsible for Anakin, not in that he’s obligated to do it or that it’s his fault, but that he chooses to do this just as Anakin chooses to leave himself in Obi-Wan’s hands, that that’s the point of Veris and Isten, to make them confront what they were avoiding. It’s partly that he’s Anakin’s Master, he trained Anakin, he was supposed to be responsible for making sure that Anakin didn’t go down that path, because they’re Force users and this is part of what it means to become a Jedi, to learn control, that’s what your Master helps you with. And Obi-Wan sees it as his failing, that he failed to see Anakin as he was, because he loved him so much and believed in him so much, but there’s something else there, that it’s not Obi-Wan berating himself or feeling pathetic about it. It’s Obi-Wan who joins Anakin in sharing this burden of responsibility–not because Anakin is a burden, but because there’s weight to what Anakin did. It mattered. Obi-Wan would never hate him for this, but neither would he just handwave it away. And that balance between all those things is spot on for who Obi-Wan actually is and how he would feel about this, that it’s about joining Anakin in responsibility, rather than shifting entirely onto one or other of their shoulders, that he’s the Master in this relationship, that is his lifelong and cherished role, so he will always join Anakin, which naturally leads right back to thoughts of Veris and Isten, the way Veris pulled Isten back when he would have ran at the Jedi half-cocked, when Isten explains how choosing to give his Master that authority, to accept the firm hand of his guidance, helps him, keeps him from going out of control. It of course makes me look back on every single thing either Sith has said to the Jedi, how it’s been about confronting something they had chosen to set aside or were desperately hiding (even from themselves at times), realizing how carefully chosen and planned those moments were, entertaining on their own, but even better when recontextualized like this! All these elements are all wound together so beautifully in this fic and I cannot wait to see where they continue to go, where sure I’m biased, but I also think this may genuinely be my favorite fic of the author’s yet, as you can see by how much I just had to talk about it! And, oh, I love so much that this isn’t about how the Sith are so much better or that the Jedi versions are terrible, but instead that this is about possibility, ones that were set aside or ignored or shoved down for various reasons, that they took a step forward here, they kissed and it made sense to me, after everything they’d confronted and the realization of just how entwined they are with each other already, how they can balance each other, that it’s not about them becoming exactly like the Sith versions, but instead finding a new balance of themselves. And just what all that exhibitionist and really, really good sex says about what each of them want with the other, yesss. I mean, who knows, maybe I’m way off-base about all of this! But that won’t take away from how much fun I had theorizing about things or that I enjoy each chapter as it comes out and the careful way it’s walking the path it’s on and how it’s just SO GOOD FOR ME. ✦ Cataclasm by dendral, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & waxer & cast, 42.9k wip For reasons unknown to all but himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Jedi Order in the midst of the Clone Wars, taking with him a single clone. Anakin Skywalker has been unofficially tasked by the Order to find Obi-Wan and bring him home. Chapter 9: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. This continues to be one of the best fics in the fandom, it does such an incredible job at what it’s aiming for–examining the effects of the war on the characters it hurt the most and what that’s like from the inside, as well as highlighting what is so spot on for them, had they just been in slightly different circumstances. This is a fic that really understands what characters like Obi-Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka and Mace and the clones were going through, that there were no good choices available to them, that greater themes of choice and lack of choice were going on–and that’s really highlighted beautifully in this chapter, when Obi-Wan and Waxer run into a group of Sith. It was a fun chapter for the action and plotful stuff, I’ve been enjoying their relief mission and wherever the Force is taking them, but this one really went hard on the emotional impact and even further showcased why Waxer is here, what this resonates with him, as a clone who was literally born for this war. It’s a fic that doesn’t shy away from the difficult things, but neither does it villanize anyone who isn’t actually a villain, it gets what The Clone Wars was putting down, it’s one of the most in character fics I’ve read for characterization, but also for themes of the Jedi and the Sith and the clones and the war and politics. Of course everything goes exactly how you know it’s going to go, but that just makes the fic all the stronger for it–though, I also really enjoyed the OCs used for this chapter, they felt right to Star Wars and they meant something, they had an emotional impact on me, I cared about them and their fates after only one chapter here, which is pretty damn great. I loved the bits of world-building, I love that the author has clearly thought about what it means to be a Force user, the way Obi-Wan describes the building they head towards as like he’s being suffocated genuinely gave me a shiver, the way the fic gets that having visions about the future, having vague feelings that something isn’t right, is a lot like anxiety and then outright causes anxiety, this fic really shows just how muchdarkness there was in the galaxy, how the Jedi were tasked with putting out so many fires that they couldn’t get to them all, so many really horrible, traumatizing fires, and never enough time to recover before another fire was starting up. And that’s how I feel about this story–it’s earning that sense of exhaustion and heart-sickness, for the characters and for me as a reader, in exactly the way it’s supposed to. So when they can’t fix everything perfectly, I remember everything that’s come before, and I feel the emotions right along with the characters, I’m sad because they try so hard and this is never going to be the end. I’m just emotionally sore when something else still yet happens and even when there’s a hug, it’s painful because it’s so wrenching and they’ve both given so much to this war and just EVERYONE DESERVED BETTER and this fic does a gorgeous job of showing that. ✦ The Best Dressed Lie by igrockspock, leia & bail & breha & tarkin & cast, 5.4k Leia begins showing signs of force sensitivity at an early age. Her parents struggle to dissuade her from investigating her new powers before Vader discovers the daughter he never knew he had. This was a lovely look at a young, fiery Leia dealing with how she just knowsthings and how it haunts her and makes her wonder and all of it is wrapped up in her fierce, determined, often angry personality. There’s such an intensity to her here, so many little details that really show the sheer amount of determination packed into one character, how she is recognizable as a child even to her adult self. That this was not always an easy childhood, for Leia or for her parents, that there were so many sharp edges and I love that it’s hard not to think of Anakin, even as he’s not actually a presence in her life at all. It’s a lovely read for a character that I find endlessly fascinating! ✦ On the Day Before by victoria_p (musesfool), vader & leia & mon mothma, ~1k Darth Vader eavesdrops on a very interesting conversation. This was a short but lovely fic about Vader overhearing a conversation not meant for his ears and having a pretty giant revelation dropped on him–in a conversation I can very much imagine Leia and Mon Mothma would have had! And there’s a moment that was just so perfect, when Leia put forth her assumption about her father, that had me laughing because of course. It’s a really fun fic, Vader is such an utter creeper and yet you kind of feel sorry for the murderous baby killer! It’s a difficult line to walk sometimes, but this fic does it with such charm and charisma that I greatly enjoyed it. ✦ untitled by glare-gryphon, obi-wan/anakin/bail, NSFW, d/s, spanking, modern au, 2.1k If there is one thing Anakin does not expect when he walks into Bail Organa’s office, it is finding his composition professor perched on the edge of the man’s elaborate desk, sipping tea from one of Bail’s expensive tea sets and talking with the man as though they’ve known each other forever. I’m usually more of an Obikin reader and that’s what I picked this fic up for–the established pairing is Bail/Anakin and that’s a good portion of the foundation here, Anakin’s thoughts are often with him, even as it’s Obi-Wan touching him and fucking him, but it’s not like the Obi-Wan/Anakin part is unimportant, that it doesn’t hold weight in the fic in comparison, because I definitely enjoyed reading this for that part of it! I’m a sucker for d/s dynamics with these characters, especially how much more settled Anakin feels, and when it’s combined with having two people to trust to take care of him? When it’s combined with some really, really satisfying sex as Obi-Wan fucks him over the desk, then Anakin is guided to his knees to suck Bail off while Obi-Wan pushes back into him, different feeling and sparking something very good in Anakin? Hell yes that was a fun pwp fic to read that hit all the buttons I was hoping for, this was lovely and satisfying and I’m delighted to have read it! ✦ untitled by darthcuddles, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, d/s dynamics, spanking, ~1k Anakin sits and waits, his knees on the soft carpet and the diamond collar he got from Obi-Wan firmly around his neck. Speaking of things that appeal right to me and satisfying me! The d/s dynamics of this fic, as it gives Anakin structure and allows him to be more settled with himself, how he trusts that Obi-Wan loves him and will take care of him? How he’s beautiful here and how he can push for just a little bit of a punishment that he wants, just the right amount, always done with so much love? How Obi-Wan puts him over his lap and does what Anakin’s been needling him for, then has him stand against the wall to fuck him, rough and deep? It’s a short fic, it’s not even a thousand words, but it’s one of those that’s a delicious little treat for when you want it and I appreciated it so much for embracing everything my id wanted, bless. ✦ Outlander by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, wing fic, ~1k Anonymous asked: If you want a prompt. How about Anakin with wings? Like force child born with wings This is not quite 400 words, but it got me, it’s one of those that captured my attention and had me thinking about the potential here, the way it just sort of blossomed in my mind and the things that could have lead up to this and where it would go from here. All from a single scene of Obi-Wan meeting an Anakin with wings and some really beautiful imagery in the descriptions of Anakin. It’s a fic for when you want a delicious little treat to read, something to perk up your night or morning, and maybe give you a few lingering beautiful images in your mind’s eye! ✦ Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan AU / untitled + untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & padme & riyo & boil & cast, 6.6k “Happen, something did. Cry out, the Force did.” Master Yoda’s ears droop. These are part of a larger AU (masterpost here) that should probably be read in order by this point. This rec will focus on these two together, rather than the series as a whole! I really did try to wait until the next part was posted before reading, because I knew they were going to end on a cliffhanger, but I just cannot resist them! They’re so well written and so beautifully true to Star Wars and do so well with a cast of characters, that it pulls in various Senators or clones or Jedi, all of whom show a different point of view and bring something to the scene they’re narrating, and continuing the plot forward. I love this AU for how true to the spirit of Star Wars it is, but also just that it’s absolutely engaging, how I’m on the edge of my seat for these entire fics, as Obi-Wan is wounded in the bombing and how there’s an excellently done sense of chaos screaming around everyone. There’s so much good worldbuilding here, the way the Jedi just know something’s happened, the way the Senators have different cultural backgrounds that are woven into the story (I loved the veiled face Senator and the sheer amount of kindness and empathy Riyo showed her, yesssss, that is my Star Wars!), I loved that I felt everything right along with Padme, as she watched in worry about her friends and colleagues, unable to do anything to help but keep out of the way. And there’s the Obi-Wan scenes. Which just absolutely are heartbreaking for how much pain he’s in, how much danger his life is in, and the absolute utter crushing sense of suffering I, as a reader, felt when he was so alone and in pain and believed he was going to die without someone there to be with him. The simple line of how he thought perhaps it would have been Anakin who was there with him at the end just casually destroyed me, it was woven into the story in such a lovely way and perfectly done, that he faced death as a Jedi, his reactions so empathetic and understandable, yet he found as much peace as he could with it. This is why Obi-Wan Kenobi is my favorite character and this fic just hits that spot in me that loves him so much, it does justice to him, it gets him right, it’s so good. ✦ Failures of Rhetoric by Mithrigil, obi-wan/satine, nsfw, 4.1k wip Or, five times Obi-Wan Kenobi should’ve kept his trap shut. And once he should have said something, anything, anything at all. Chapter 4: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. I continue to love this series so much, it’s so sharp and has this really deft way of having all these unsaid things crowding into the room, in a way that really fits with Satine and Obi-Wan, that I understand why they’re like this, even as they can be terribly infuriating as well, it’s a spot on balance for them. That this is a moment where Obi-Wan doesn’t say anything, that saying something would ruin it, that even for all the banter here, the real heft of the story is in the atmosphere, the undercurrents beneath them, the sheer amount of unsaid emotional weight between them. It’s just so sharp and so good, it’s everything I fell in love with when it came to these two. ✦ untitled by themoosejthm, obi-wan/anakin/padme, nsfw, 1.1k obianidalasuggestion: Anakin loves cuddles. When he’s bored, he’ll snuggle up to Obi-Wan or Padme, no matter what they’re doing, until one of them pays attention to him. Even if it’s just scratching his head like he’s a cat. Oh, this was a lovely fic based on the adorable prompt, it’s such a good example of the different kinds of warm-hearted affection each of these characters displays towards each other–the way Anakin wriggles his way onto Padme’s lap, lays his head against her, the way she casually pets at his head, the way Obi-Wan does something kind for her to show his thoughts are with her, I am entirely here for this with these three, that easy way they balance each other so well. The little details are wonderful, the way Anakin is guileless in the way he’s so attractive, the way Obi-Wan and Padme both center around him even as they gently touch each other, the way Padme’s suggestions for what she wants in the morning, wants to see Anakin ride him, so beautiful when he’s filled up with Obi-Wan and how much he loves them, how she wants to watch Obi-Wan finally lose control and flip him over to fuck him thoroughly, which was only a brief description but certainly filled my head with pleasant thought as I drifted off to sleep. I am so very here for warm, sweet, kind, suggestive, lovely OT3 action and this was such a good treat to read! ✦ you know what they say about assumptions by darlingargents, obi-wan/anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast, modern au, 5.4k Padmé, Anakin, and Obi-Wan are dating. For some reason, the media doesn’t know what to make of it. This was a really cute, adorable modern AU that’s just completely fluffy and a fun read! Where the three of them are in a relationship and the press has a field day with possible cheating going on and how they’re having fun with playing with that and silly, light-hearted antics. It’s one of those fics that you read when you want something entirely kind and zero angst in sight and that’s an easy read, which is exactly what I was hoping for, especially with all the angst that often goes in in fandom. Really cute, adorable fun! ✦ Do Not Go Gentle by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & cast, a/b/o, 10.5k wip Anakin Skywalker is only six months into his Jedi training when he goes missing on a mission, bringing his Master’s life crashing down. Unable to recover from the loss, Alpha Obi-Wan Kenobi grieves his Padawan’s uncertain fate, unaware that his life would once again be turned on end with the arrival of an Omega Sith Lord to the Temple ten years later. –>Chapter 5: I know I’ve recommended this fic at least once before, but I can’t remember where the recs left off, so I’m going to start over again! This is one of those fics that I gleefully read as soon as it puts a new chapter out because it is right up my alley with the a/b/o stuff and Obi-Wan and Anakin finding each other again so many years later, Anakin just so ready to find his Master again, feral and wild, only able to be put under control by the one he loves, by his Master, by Obi-Wan. Who cares so much about him, wants to be kind and gentle to him, but there’s that underlying streak of possessiveness that comes out in this universe because of their biology and the time spent apart and the how of how they find each other again, the amped up intensity of the emotions. All of that hits my buttons just right on, and then you add in a/b/o to it, with scent smelling and cuddling up together because Anakin doesn’t want to be parted, how Obi-Wan gently bites at him in their sleep, how he marks Anakin because neither of them want to be separated, how they’re vaguely trying to take things slow to do it properly, but you know it’s going to be a clusterfuck. That’s everything I’m here for! I love every single one of those tropes, especially when they’re done with charm and charisma. I love that there’s angst, but the delicious kind that I’m eating up, rather than feeling exhausted by, because I know they’ll eventually work things out and in the meantime, I get unconscious snuggles and nibbling, I get Anakin this hurricane of a storm in the Force who just settles when he’s with Obi-Wan, who will take care of him, who wakes up and looks at Anakin underneath him, all sprawled limbs and trust, and it’s all so damn good for me. ✦ A journey of a thousand miles by greyathena, han/leia & luke & cast, 149k Relationships have to start somewhere. Or, once you’ve jumped into a garbage chute with people you kind of either decide to like them or you don’t. I do have one caveat about my rec for this fic: I’m only ten chapters into the fic at the moment, so only about a quarter of the way through, but I’m a slow reader on this one, and I wanted to write the rec now! I do what I want and all that, basically. Where this fic really shines is in the Han and Leia perspectives, the fic does a really lovely job of making them have all these sharp character traits, but without reducing them to only that, that even when Han is a scoundrel or Leia is a stone-hard princess who has lost her world or when she’s less than five feet of pure rage, it never loses that they’re people, that Han is kind of Totally Unsmooth and that Leia is unsure of her place in the Rebellion for a long time and unsure of her relationship, that they’re stumbling towards something, but it’s going to take awhile to get there. It’s got some fanon tropes that it joyfully embraces (like Chewbacca thinking of them as cubs or wondering when they’re just going to have a cub of their own, etc.) but that’s part of the warm-hearted charm of the fic! And it nicely pulls in a lot of details from current Disney canon, so this feels like an OT fic, but one that fits with the current events! But mostly it’s just a really, really well-written piece for Han and Leia’s characters, that it’s smooth on a technical level but also you can feel how much affection there is for both of them from the writing. A lovely, fun and very lengthy, satisfying read if you’re into these two, all the more so because it doesn’t drag, but still takes its time to show the length of the journey and all the fumbling along the way. ✦ When Dark burns as much as Light. by HellsBellsSinClub, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & luke & cast, time travel, 8.4k Darth Vader dies in the arms of his son, fully expecting to be sent to the Void for his sins. Instead, he wakes up in a sandstone hut on what seems to be Tatooine with a ghost of an old friend who has a lot to say to him. I do have one caveat ahead of time, that there are a lot of typos in the fic that could use a good scrub with the editing brush, but I mention this only because I want to encourage people beyond that, as I found a really solidly good and fun story here, that it was so satisfying for being an Anakin time travel fic (which is very rare for me to find one that works for me!) and how he has to face all the shit he did, all the terrible things and all the people he hurt that didn’t deserve it, but done in a way that makes me love him all the more for it. There are a lot of little details I really love, the way being back in a healed body changes some things (what he can do that he couldn’t in the suit) and not others (the way he’s so used to pain), that this is about dealing with that as well as the tangle of emotions that he just buried away for so many years as Vader. That he has to actually accept the horrible wrongs he did against people (Obi-Wan especially, who did not deserve any of that), how angry he is in a very bad way, but maybe there’s hope for him yet. That he’s not just monstrous acts, but that he can find his way back to the light, that he cries for everyone that he cut down and those he made suffer, and cries for how much he didn’t see (especially how much Obi-Wan loved him) and it’s this really satisfying embracing of all those things that had me tearing through this fic and enjoying it SO MUCH.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #obikin #obianidala #ahsoka tano #fic recs #star wars fic recs

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inkognito97 · 7 years

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Does the temple ever become full of shape shifting Jedi in your lion heart verse?

Even though I would like that idea very much, I doubt it. There are too many ‘old’ and traditional Jedi, though I could picture the younger generation to become shape shifters. Also, I could see Yoda discovering his inner self, just because he wants to learn.

I thought about a few possible combinations:

Yoda: owl > He is wise and has a great knowledge. My first impulse had been to make him a turtle, but I liked the idea of giving him some more freedom. He is often above other Jedi and their standards and even though he often seems distant, he cares and TAKES care of them. I like the idea of him ‘flying’ above their heads, looking out for them.

Mace: bear > Just like Yoda, this idea came to my mind and would not vanish again. I think the Korun Master’s use of Vaapad makes him darker and more dangerous than he appears at first. And let’s be realistic, a bear looks fuzzy, but is quite deadly. I also fear that Mace is somebody, who prefers to do things on his own, but he is also very capable of being a leader and guiding others. He IS a Council member after all. He has to be strong, as the Order’s supporting pillar.

Anakin: wolf > Anakin would most likely even be an alpha wolf. He is strong, fearless and has good instincts. He is intelligent, a leader and he has a great appetite for freedom. His past as a slave sees to that. Wolves easily feel threatened when someone enters their territory and Anakin often feels threatened by the Council. Though I cannot really imagine him with a huge pack. Of course he has a few people he trusts (Obi-Wan, Padme, Ahsoka) but in general I see him as a lone wolf, following his own path.

Ahsoka: falcon > Ahsoka was quite hard if you ask me. But I eventually settled for her to be a falcon. As a falcon, she truly sees the world around her, or at least in a different way of others. It means that she finds hidden meanings. But as a falcon she is also a predator, ready for action and danger when it is necessary. I looked it up and it says that the falcon is often seen as a messenger between the spiritual world and the physical one. And in a way she is the messenger between Obi-Wan and Anakin. While Anakin prefers physical contact, aggressive negotiations and the present, Obi-Wan is more the spiritual side. He plays with words to avoid physical conflict, he is wiser and has a greater focus on the bigger picture. Ahsoka often seems to be the middle, the messenger between them.

Dooku: puma > When I think of Dooku, I imagine a noble and elegant female. Just as a puma, he can be fierce and aggressive. I think the big cat symbolizes nobility, strength, patience, silence and leadership. Dooku is not one to act rashly and recklessly. He prefers to watch and analyze, before he acts.

Qui-Gon: lion > He is strong, proud and often very stubborn. He lives in the here and now and forms strong connections (with Obi-Wan for example). He is also not afraid to give his everything to protects those he loves. In one moment he can be a gentle soul, caring for the most pathetic lifeform in the universe, the next moment he is tearing somebody apart in order to save the pathetic lifeform. Also, his long hair made the decision kind of obvious too.

Obi-Wan: fox/fennec > In the Lionhear story I only described him as a fox, but a fennec would fit just as well. The only difference is that a fennec is even more mischief and playful. He can also be shyer than his bigger cousin. In general I see Obi-Wan as a mischievous, cheeky and wise man. He can adapt to every kind of situation, his quick wit can get him out of many situations, just as his charm. I think it just fits very well.

When there is someone else you would like to know the spirit animal of, feel free to ask. ^^

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #mace windu #yoda #dooku #spirit animals #lionheart #prompt #questions #mostie01

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bluecardigan-13 · 5 months

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There is no benchmark anywhere in life that says you have to have this or this figured out. Life is hard, being an adult is hard. I’m 45 and I have a panic attack standing in line at the grocery store when I have to pay for my groceries! I freak out when I’m like yes I’m hurrying to put my check card away back off! LOL my oldest son is 20 and he says he feels bad that he doesn’t have his drivers license by now. I said who said you gotta have anything by now? Live your life, be you, love yourself and don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. It will work itself out. At least it did for me. Life is too short to make yourself into something that makes you unhappy!

Yes I have actual #panic attacks when I am even in self check out at the store. Irrational as it may seem. I hyperventilate while I take my wallet out of my purse to pay for my groceries, and then when I put it back sweat trickles down my back while I am feeling stared at by probably no one! It’s ludicrous and silly!

Did you know that I have 2 #cats (Ash and Yoda) as my #emotional support animals? They each have their designated roles for me and help me cope. Ash who is grey and white, and meows like (not to be mean) but she meows like a crying baby - she helps keeps my brain in check. Like #grounded if that makes sense.

And Yoda she is my #alpha cat. When I buy them new toys or beds which tends to be more frequent than I’d like to admit will claim everything including the box it came in. But she knows when I am having a #panic attack. She lets her presence know by meowing before doing anything. Be it jumping on the couch, trying to help me balance my check book by ripping the receipts up - even tho I tell her not to. She lets out a short #meow. As to say I’m here pay attention human I am here to take care of you because I know you need me. Which 9 times out of 10 I do. I wish I could bring both of them with me when I go out but that’s frowned upon here. Plus they don’t like the kennels I’ve bought them, and I’m 1 person. I can’t carry both of them.

Yoda will climb on the couch or into bed with me and sit ON me until my #panic attacks pass. I’m not sure how she knows she just does.

I also have #cptsd. This is due to prolonged exposure emotional and mental abuse as a child. And even as an adult. I know no one is perfect. But I grew up in a traditional samurai Japanese household. What my parents said went. No questions asked. The word #NO was not apart of the English language or part of any conversation I had with them. I wasn’t a troubled child but was seen as one. My score in my family compared to my younger sister was a big fat goose egg.

She was the #golden child. I was not. Why you may ask? She did what she was told. She as I’ve heard #taylor swift say, she was the girl that smiled and waved. Did as she was told, never making waves. I #made waves. Not big ones. But like my sister was in AP everything, not me. I was a failure. She got straight A’s, I got A’s and B’s and gasp the occasional C. I remember once I got a D. I was tormented for it for months.

Did I not know that these grades (at the age of 7) would follow me for the rest of my life? #and that I bring shame to my family for such humiliation?! I never felt that this was my sister’s fault. This was just my parents. So my sister and I were still close. We’re 3 yrs apart.

As we got older, I remember her telling me that she had developed depression and anxiety too. But dealt with it by sticking her head in the sand because she saw what I went through with my parents. (My therapist wanted them to come to my sessions - my dad said no. That it was my problem that I needed to fix on my own. Why did he need to be there?) so she pretended like it was all fine. When it wasn’t. I told her she could talk to me if she wanted to. She never did. I’m guessing it’s just easier to pretend #everything is ok. Even when I’ve told her #it’s ok not to be ok.

If any of you need someone to talk to, please respond to this message I am more than happy to listen. Not necessarily give advice. Cause I’m not a dr. But I can be your friend if you want. Even if it’s once, or a million. This is a #judgment free zone. I also have a YouTube channel that’s the same way. #love is love.

I know what it feels like to be alone. And #it’s no fun. Wanna looks me up on YouTube? That’s me! I am a nobody. A small insignificant channel. I barely have 1,100 subs. I’m striving for it though. I really want to hit 2,000. I doubt I’ll get there. (Not enough people care about our my message!)

We talk about #art therapy, #yarn, #epoxy resin (I just moved from HI to OK but I do used to do live resin pours. I’m trying to get my craft area in order so I can start again), we also talk about #chronic illnesses - I have several and it sucks. We talk about #chronic pain which I also have, which also sucks.

We talk about having #fibromyalgia yes it’s a thing, despite what some drs say. We discuss #mental illnesses, which I also have and how hard it is to manage. We talk about how #art therapy helps manage these things and how nice it is sometimes to see on YouTube or wherever that there are other people like us out there. Cause it’s lonely sometimes thinking you might be the only one who has, #fibromyalgia, #chronic pain. These subjects are all hard things to talk about. I know. But I want to talk about them. People find me boring or annoying, or I bring them down. Maybe that’s why my channel isn’t growing?

Sometimes I lay in bed at night asking myself what’s wrong with me other than the obvious incurable diseases I have. I’m on so many medications, and I still have medical problems they can’t figure out. It’s a joke.

IDK maybe that’s why I’m here on Tumblr. LOL even though I still don’t know how this works 3 yrs later. Hahahaha!! I’m such a #boomer even tho I’m a millennial. Right? I’m 45. Go figure.

A mom, with 2 sons and a wonderful husband who takes care of me when I have a flare from my #fibro. Cause when you have a flare - it hurts so much even your #teeth, #hair and #skin hurt. Heck it hurts to #laugh!

Did you know that I haven’t been on a REAL vacation in over a decade? It’s sad. I would give my last #breath to my husband, or children before I ever would take a #vacation!

In all seriousness if you are in need to chat with someone cause you feel stuck? Or deal with the same or similar things that I do, please comment! Or head over to my youtube channel and comment. I do my best to comment to my members. (Oh and I don’t call them my subscribers. Yall are #ohana members. Cause you’re family. I find subscribers impersonal. I like having you as apart of my family.) I was born and raised in HI. And ohana is important in HI. I miss mine even if it’s contentious. They’re still my family.

And since my last post I lost my dad. He died during Covid. It’s weird cause it’s like time was before #Covid and after #Covid. Right? He died on 4/21/21 of a sudden cardiac arrest. My mom had just retired 4 months prior. They were planning on taking my oldest son to #Japan for his high school #graduation gift together. As the oldest I had to plan the funeral which was hard because of #covid. My husband was a big upset with this cause right before my dad passed away, my dad told me that he didn’t believe a single word I was saying about my illnesses. That I was just attention seeking. Cause I really love taking ll my meds and being poked and jabbed all the time for fun. But, his mom (my grandma) died in December of 2021. I was super close with her. I just want a break from life.

Anyway no said life was #easy or #happy right? Come join my #ohana where no one gets left behind. See what #silliness or #not so silliness we get up to. #Chat if you want. Or don’t. It’s a #no judgment zone, and #no one says you have to be somewhere or do some benchmark just cause you’re x yrs old.

More to come.

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